#outswears
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where do i get weed and how do i swear
okay the weed part is not obligatory, let's focus on the swearing
you see someone who you don't like? just call them f#€kface, if someone tells you to do something just tell them to f#€k off and die
you're above all those dips#!ts and you can't let them outswear you, got it?
aight now go off and blow that school, kid
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i wonder if i could outswear Dan in my own language
#. definitely not in English#but in russian... we can easily make sentences out of swear works connecting them with prepositions#and i have been doing it since i was 7#soooo huge vocabulary and a lot of practice jdbdhdhsjwks#dan#dan memes 2022#words*
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Random Remus Lupin Headcanons
Is 6"6' but slouches to high heavens and everyone thinks he's 5"11'.
Worships piano ballads and folk music - Actually, he faints when he finds out Sirius write piano ballads and sings.
Is half Irish/half Welsh raised by his Scottish grandfather.
Can and will outswear a sailor when provoked... he ends up mixing all of his accents, and it's so strong no-one can understand what he's saying.
Don't touch the chocolate if you want to live, especially around the full moon.
When he's upset, he'll go on a walk but not realise how cold it is and he will complain about it tomorrow.
Hates the cold weather and will hide under the bed in thunderstorms.
Throws up around near strong perfume.
Not a pushover so don't try it.
Has depression and minor PTSD.
#remus lupin#remus john lupin#remus headcanon#remus lupin headcanon#marauders#marauders headcanon#harry potter#harry potter headcanon#part 2#still working on the others
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Somewhat surprisingly, have some Brella questions: 4, 5, 6
4) who swears more?
Stella. She may be a princess but when she gets angry, the girl gets angry. Her vocabulary will let you know that she is not messing around. She doesn’t do it all that often. Only when she is truly mad while Brandon’s is more of a casual thing. Like, if he drops something, he might go “shit” which Stella wouldn’t. But she can outswear anyone.
5) who does more of the housework?
Definitely Brandon. Stella doesn’t know how to even if she wanted to help. She’d just offer to get them a maid once they live together. However, Brandon still does some small things like picking clothes if they’re left all over the furniture (and let’s be real, they are since Stella always has a swirl of fashion ideas in her head and is putting together outfits) or washing the cup he just used. He’s used to picking after himself because when he’s somewhere camping outside for a mission, he can’t wait for a maid to come and get it done for him. He doesn’t mind too much that Stella doesn’t move a finger when it comes to housework. Only if he is super tired and there is nowhere to sit because of her burst of inspiration.
6) who forgets their anniversary?
Neither. It is the most important day to both of them and they are making plans and preparing their gifts at least a month before that. They need to plan carefully in order not to double book their evening and be forced to give up on one of the surprises. It has happened before so they had to put together a system where they separate the day into time slots and each of them confines their plans into the time they have.
Send me OTP asks
#winx club#brella#brandon x stella#winx stella#winx brandon#winx headcanons#ask#her-majesty-wears-jeans
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The Redhead in my Life.
Cody is my first horse, the first one I had a hand in training, and the first one I could consider, ‘finished.’ He’s usually the best partner I could ask for. Usually. To the point that I sometimes let my guard down with him, something I don’t do for any other horse.
We were getting prepped for an evening ride, and after Cody was set to go, I realized I’d forgotten to grab my chaps. Thankfully, my boy has a perfect ground tie. I told him to, ‘Stand,’ and ducked into the tack stall to grab them off my saddle rack.
I emerged from the stall, chaps in hand, just in time to see that red asshole trotting down the aisle in the opposite direction.
“What the fuuu- He fuckin’ left me!”
He’s always come back to me when I’ve fallen, so I just waited. Cody reached the opposite end of the barn and stopped by the closed entryway-
“Hah! Nowhere to go, asshole!”
-Only to pop the little side door open with his nose and squeeze his fat ass through, tack and all.
“Motherfu-”
Dropped my chaps and ran down the aisle. Threw open the door and he was prancing across the parking lot toward his pasture at the front of the property with his tail flagging.
“Oy! Asshole!”
I had to run after him. Our caretakers’ house is up on the hill with a view of the whole property, and I could just imagine them on their balcony with their family, watching me chase my dickhead horse across the entire farm like a jackass. Laughing their asses off.
Finally reached him when he was grazing next to his field. (I can be in the saddle for hours but still find an extended sprint taxing.) He raised his head and nickered when he saw me staggering up, like he’d finally seen me again after a week’s absence. Cody then proceeded to poke my pockets for cookies while I took his reins back over his head and checked to make sure my tack hadn’t been damaged.
Trudged back to the arena. I hadn’t gotten a mocking text containing a Yakety Sax mp3 so maybe no one up on the hill had seen anything. He was perfect after I mounted up, like he’d just needed that small act of rebellion so I wouldn’t forget who I was riding.
This fuckin’ guy:
#Equestrian problems#He's retired so he thinks schooling is optional#A magnificent poof#For the record your horse is never too old for groundwork#Because otherwise they think 'Fuck that human' and go on merry solo jaunts#Animal caretakers really do swear more than anyone#We outswear soldiers truckers and librarians#Cody#Serendipity#Horses#Hunter-Jumper#Quarter horse#Paint horse#AQHA#APHA
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the lich grins a little. "heh, honestly, right now? literally no telling. he knows all the cracks and crevices of the castles, and goes wherever he damn well pleases, restrictions or no. -but he's likely to be willing to negotiate with you. just keep in mind, he will try to outswear you, and if you teach him new swears? his dad will wonder where he learned them."
...
Pooka is best child.
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Uraraka would swear like a motherfucking goddamn sailor, and i have proof.
Her parents are construction workers, and i can say from firsthand experience that children of construction workers are constantly around guys that swear like their lives depend on it, and it rubs off on their kids.
This gal could outswear Bakugou. Just accept it, ya’ll
#im fucking right#she’d keep up the ‘i dont swear’ persona until they move into dorms#uraraka: If ya’ll dont shut your asses the FUCK up in going to rip ya’ll’s dicks off#bnha#boku no hero academia#my hero academia#mha#uraraka ochaco#ochaco uraraka
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Words: 1379 Chapters: 1/1 Fandom: Marvel Cinematic Universe, Spider-Man (Tom Holland Movies), Iron Man (Movies) Rating: Teen And Up Audiences Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply Relationship: Peter Parker & Tony Stark Characters: Peter Parker, Tony Stark Additional Tags: this is just humour guys, Humor, if i must remove the u i guess, Fluff and Humor, I suppose, Fluff, it’s light hearted it’s stupid it’s dumb welcome to the fic, i know this fandom has great tags, I really do, it’s just right now i can think of none, the rating is just for some swearing, wanted to be safe
Summary:
“Hi, Mr. Stark, are we leaving now? I’ve got all my stuff just like you said!” Peter was sitting on the kitchen counter, swinging his legs, drinking...drinking juice?
Tony thought he’d gotten pretty good at not swearing around the kid despite Peter’s protests that “Mr. Stark, I’m sure half my generation could outswear you” but really, this situation just asked for a, “Peter, what the fuck” and even then that was an understatement.
You know that photo of Tom drinking with that stupid ass straw? yeah. i gave peter it.
#remember that dumb post i made the other day? i wrote it#it's not great but i wrote it nevertheless#mcu#marvel#peter parker#tony stark#spider-man#spiderman#iron man#ironman#tony stark & peter parker#peter parker & tony stark#irondad
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Jayrae and 9 & 13 plz
Hello,
Oh interesting questions, hmm…
9. Which one swears more?
Jason. Despite all of Alfred’s training, the Crime Alley in him has him outswearing sailors.
13. Which makes a bigger deal of birthdays?
Raven, since thwarting her father’s prophecy she makes a huge deal of birthdays.
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Ross Poldark, Book One, Chapter 13
She had taken to combing her hair and tying it back, where it sometimes stayed, so that her features had come out into the open. ... She was not an ill-looking girl and her eyes were intelligent and very frank. She was a very quick learner and something of a mimic, so that she began to add words to her vocabulary and to know how to pronounce them. She also began to lose some. Ross had consulted Prudie—always a flattering way of approach—and Prudie, who could outswear a trooper when she chose, found herself committed to the reduction of Demelza’s curse words. Prudie knew what was right and proper, and Demelza did not. ... So the process became not merely the willing education of Demelza but the unwilling regeneration of Prudie.
#poldark#LegoPoldark#ross poldark#demelza#prudie#winston graham#poldark book 1: ross poldark#Literary Lego
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80. "Go to hell" is only appropriate as a swear word when you have a death wish. (Vergil)
81. Avoid using cultural references Vergil doesn't understand. It just makes him irritable. (Liz)
82. Do not try to outswear Tess. She speaks more languages than you. (Roy)
83. Do not try to outswear Liz. She speaks even more languages than you. (Vergil)
84. Just because you can curse in four languages does not mean you should. (Nero)
85. I am not allowed to grumble in dead languages. (Roy)
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This has always been one of my headcanons for Anakin and Obi Wan (I read somewhere that the more languages a person tends to know, the more cussing they tend to do. How many languages does Obi Wan know again? 😉)
But think of this. The Clone Wars starts, they’re around their troops all the time. Now idk how many people here are or have met people in the military, but it’s quite common for the word “fuck” to appear in basically every single sentence they say aloud. And I like the headcanon that the clones speak Mando, so there’s just cuss words in Basic, Mando, and whatever languages Obi Wan and Anakin know getting picked up by different people and flying all over the place for three years straight.
What I’m saying is: living in this environment as an impressionable teenager who soaks up swear words like a sponge as teens tend to do, by the time she is grown there is basically no one in the galaxy who can outswear Ahsoka Tano, and that is a fact.
I just realized that Anakin would probably have an extremely dirty mouth from growing up on Tatooine and then spending so much time with clones. Of course, Obi-Wan is all class and doesn't approve, making them the equivalents of Tony and Steve ok bye
Oh yeah, Anakin has a filthy mouth alright. A filthy mouth and zero filter. Obi-Wan develops a knee-jerk response “Anakin!” whenever he hears curses, particularly Huttese curses.
But think about this: As a boy, Anakin was only ever been exposed to Tatooine’s brand of vulgar language. Before he was even fully grown, Obi-Wan had already been exposed to a whole galaxy of curses and expletives.
So yes, Obi-Wan doesn’t curse as much as Anakin, not by a mile. And yes, during Anakin’s apprenticeship Obi-Wan instituted various forms of punishment for an unchecked mouth. But the thing is, while Obi-Wan may have a mental filter a parsec thick, in actuality he is a walking dictionary of vulgar language. So when he does curse, he not only knows exactly what he is doing and exactly what he wants to say, he has a literal galaxy of curses from which to choose, mixing and matching across languages and anatomical insults and truly vile descriptors. This knowledge, mixed with his dark humor and legendary way with words, grants Obi-Wan Kenobi the ability to, if the desire so strikes him, make the filthiest of Hutt gangsters blush scarlet.
Anakin does not know of this superpower until he is nineteen years old. At the end of a two-month mission and an unplanned three-week detour through a torture chamber and ultimately the medical ward, Obi-Wan took it upon himself to tell the medical droid exactly what he thought about having his dislocated shoulder reset, and Anakin was within earshot.
Skywalker will claim for years after that he had never truly respected his master until that moment, but of course he’s joking. At least, Obi-Wan thinks it’s a joke. He hopes it’s a joke.
#i love hcs like this!#the way i like to see it is anakin is a gremlin child who knows and uses ALL the huttese swear words because he didn’t KNOW they were bad#and then after he finds out they are bad he uses them MORE because obi wan pulls a funny face and halfheartedly scolds him every time#(he never takes obes too seriously tho cuz i also hc there is a specific chair obi wan always kicks the corner of by accident)#(idk why he does but it just seems to have it out for him)#(and he ends up swearing EVERY TIME)#(anakin is always around to hear it)#(and obi wan just sighs and is like ‘that was bad. you never heard that’ and ani’s like ‘ok >:3’)#(and then it happens again like two days later)#anakin is also maybe definitely responsible for accidentally teaching the younglings a swear word#and when the crechemaster calls him on it he panics and says it’s huttese for good luck#and now there’s all these little kids running around swearing and anakin is DYING inside#our only ho#one (1) hot mess
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the turtles and swearing (its 3am and im bored)
leo: rarely swears, says shit like “oh shucks” and gets made fun of for it ENDLESSLY. the friend that says “language.” if the gang is getting too out of control, is laughed at again. if he’s really frustrated he’ll swear in japanese and when he swears, HE SWEARS. anyone who knows japanese in the room is either shocked or stifling laughter. he’s got some pent up aggression lmao. since he rarely does it the gang makes sure to make pretend sounds of horror. once he accidentally cussed in japanese in front of splinter and he was so embarrassed he grounded himself.
raph: the contender you’d think would swear the most. he swears in fits of rage and excitement. he’s got a colorful vocabulary that has caused splinter to lecture him often, it’s hard for him to not swear around adults. he once said in front of bishop and the entire earth protection force “fucking shit goddamn we are so screwed.” (they weren’t amused.) his favorite word is fuck, it just has so many uses. he’s the one leo usually gets on to for swearing so much.
donnie: he swears more than you think he would but because he does it so eloquently he rarely gets in trouble. he mumbles half of a long winded rant using an array of curse words from here to the far reaches of the galaxy. most of the time he uses fancy vocabulary to tell you that you’re a fucking idiot. “yOU INSOLENT HALFWIT TWOBIT IGNORAMUS” is a favorite along with many others (usually pointed at casey). when he’s pissed his rants are LONG and like a speech, you should feel honored he’s cussing you out.
mikey: aka a little shit. HE SWEARS THE MOST OUT OF ANYONE HE COULD OUTSWEAR CASEY OR APRIL IN A MILLISECOND. the first time he let out a string of insults everyone looked up shocked because “no, not their sweet baby brother!” mikey had to fight off an attacking leo wielding a soap bar the first time. he slips curses in every sentence but is smart enough not to do it around splinter, he never gets caught. if any of the others tries to ‘rat’ (get it) him out to splinter, mikey feigns shock and splinter lectures the snitch on making things up to get another in trouble. mikey is untouchable and acts like it accordingly. he cusses so much that leo has given up trying to correct him and thus so lectures raph instead. mikey will go from endearingly calling someone “bitchhh” to roasting one of his brothers. once he said to shredder’s face “oh get fucked you stupid ass bitch!” and shredder had a teenager of his own and was NOT going to let that slide.
#ajskdkfkg what if shredder called up splinter to tell him his son was cussing him out#splinter goes#good..bitch.#and the turtles go WILD#this all started because I was half asleep and I imagined mikey saying#get fucked shredder.#tmnt#tmnt 2012#tmnt mikey#tmnt leo#tmnt donnie#tmnt raph#tmnt splinter#tmnt shredder#tmnt casey#tmnt april#shut up Dirk
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let me just gush about moira for a minute
• she’s 48 years old • 3 years older than alannah’s father (her younger brother) • her best friend is an axe • but she’s comfortable with swords too • prefers horses to chocobos • has trekked across most of eorzea on foot • can outdrink and outswear a sailor • has traveled to doma multiple times mid-occupation • has no concept of danger • will try anything at least once • can lift a male roegadyn • hates being tied down or making commitments • is friends with an ornery seagull that brings her stolen biscuits whenever she visits limsa • has disowned three of her dumbass nephews • hates her brother’s dead wife • is fond of alannah, good on her for getting away and growing a spine • has a son she left with his father and never talks about • has never used an aetheryte in her life • once strung up a woodwailer by the seat of his pants and refused to let him down for 9 hours • hasn’t worn anything but leather and chainmail for the last 33 years • once slept with a nunh then promptly told his tribe they needed a new one because he was terrible in bed • ran away at 15 and became an apprentice to a shipbuilder for 3 years • can’t stand being indoors for more than a couple minutes • has never met a man that could best her at arm wrestling (but there were a couple of roegadyn women) • her sole weakness is lemon cakes
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inigo can outswear a sailor, but chooses not to- because it doesn’t match his lovable / dashing rouge persona.
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