#outside of contracted hours to get projects done on time

[wizardlyghost]

fuckin. i thought i was done with the "agonizing over career choices" part of job hunting when i submitted a resume, but out of goddamn nowhere another apprenticeship opportunity has fallen right into my lap. with applications closing tomorrow. so now on this day when i am so very exhausted i have been launched straight into the incredibly stressful business of asking myself what i want. aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa

[lowrisemiller]

she keeps me up 𐚁₊⊹

no outbreak!joel miller x fem!reader

chapter 4- tangled up | masterlist |

| main masterlist |

summary- A month into their secret relationship, they settle into a quiet routine—until her dad’s move brings an unexpected complication. Forced to keep things professional, they navigate stolen moments and lingering tension. Over dinner, plans for a weekend at the family cabin take shape, setting the stage for whatever comes next.

word count- 5.4k

a/n- yall they're yearning and I'm so here for it (as if I'm not rubbing my hands together like a fly as I'm writing it).

warning- DOMESTIC! JOEL, YEARNING, TENSION, making out while someone is in another room, QUICKIE while people are in the house! fingering smoochin

Sunday— June 7th 2001

One month had passed since that first night together, and somehow, Friday nights had become their nights. Some evenings, they went out—another bar, a late-night diner, a drive out to some quiet overlook where they could talk, laugh, and let Joel’s hands roam over her skin. Other nights, they simply stayed in, sprawled across Joel’s couch or curled up in bed, the warmth of his touch more comforting than anything else.

Meanwhile, life carried on. She was still babysitting Sarah, still working at the cafe. Joel was busy as ever, managing his contracting business and keeping up with projects. It was steady, easy, and good.

 And then, out of nowhere, I got the news: my dad was moving closer.

A quiet little neighborhood just outside the city, not too far from where she lived now. The house was older but solid, and her dad was excited about the change.

“I’ll finally be able to see you without a whole day of driving,” he’d joked over the phone. “Come by soon, yeah? Place needs some fixing up, and I could use the extra hands.”

So, I did.

It was a warm Saturday afternoon when I pulled up to the house. The scent of sawdust hung in the air, and the distant sound of power tools hummed in the background. My dad greeted me at the door, pulling me into a tight hug before leading me inside.

“Just started getting work done. It’s mostly flooring for now,” he explained, motioning toward the stripped-down hardwood in the living room. “Got a good crew helping out.”

That’s when I heard his voice.

Joel.

I turned the corner, and there he was—flannel sleeves rolled up, tool belt slung way too low on his hips, kneeling by the baseboards as he spoke with one of his guys. He hadn’t seen me yet, too focused on whatever measurements they were discussing. My breath caught.

He noticed me a second later, eyes locking onto mine. For a beat, neither of us moved. Then, as if remembering himself, Joel nodded. Not warm, not distant—just neutral. A greeting that meant nothing and everything.

My dad’s voice snapped me out of it.

“Hey, man! Didn’t expect you so early.”

I turned toward him, swallowing the lump in my throat. “Figured I’d get a head start.”

“Good timing. These guys are working on the floors—damn good crew, too.”

I could feel Joel’s presence even when I wasn’t looking.

For the next hour, I busied myself with unpacking kitchen boxes, my mind half on the task, half on the man moving between rooms, speaking to his crew, measuring, cutting, working. Every so often, I caught his gaze—just for a second. It was excruciating.

Then, finally, a moment alone.

I had stepped out to grab a box from the porch when Joel followed, letting the screen door creak shut behind him.

“You didn’t tell me,” I murmured, not looking at him.

“Didn’t recognize the last name ‘til this morning.” His voice was low, careful. 

I exhaled a quiet laugh. “Yeah, no kidding.”

A silence stretched between us. The kind that buzzed.

Then, his fingers brushed against mine as I reached for the box. It wasn’t much—just the lightest touch—but it sent a shiver up my spine.

Joel glanced toward the house, then back at me. “You gonna be here long?”

“A few hours.”

His jaw tightened, then loosened, like he was deciding something. “Might need a second opinion on the floors before we wrap up.”

I raised a brow. “Oh, yeah?”

He smirked, just barely. “Yeah. Professional opinion.”

It was a game we were playing, both of us pretending like we weren’t dying for more. Like we weren’t waiting for the next Friday night.

I let the moment linger before stepping back, gripping the box tighter. “Well, let me know when you need my… expertise.”

Joel huffed a quiet laugh, then nodded before slipping back inside.

And just like that, the tension stayed—buzzing, stretching, waiting for the next stolen moment.

Now that I was completely alone the only logical thing to do was call Alex.

She picked up after two rings. “What’s up, hot stuff?”

I groaned, throwing an arm over my face. “Alex. You are not gonna believe what happened today.”

“Ohhh, this sounds good. Give me the drama.”

I sighed, propping the phone between my cheek and shoulder. “Okay, so you know how my dad is moving closer, right?”

“Yeah, yeah, new house, cute neighborhood, all that.”

“Well,” I dragged the word out. “Guess who’s working on the house?”

There was a pause. Then, in a slow, knowing voice, Alex said, “No. Fucking. Way.”

“Oh, yes. Fucking way.”

She gasped. “Joel?”

“Joel.”

“Oh my god.” She practically squealed. “Did he know? Did you know? Did you guys make out in the unfinished kitchen while sawdust floated romantically around you?”

I snorted. “No. And no. I had no idea, and apparently, neither did he until this morning. So I walk up, all ready to help my dad unpack, and bam—there’s Joel, sleeves rolled up, all contractor-mode, looking ridiculously good, and I just—”

“You short-circuited.”

“Completely.”

Alex let out a dramatic sigh. “Ugh. The universe really said, ‘Let’s test these two.’”

“You’re telling me.” I tugged my bottom lip between my teeth. “It was so tense, Alex. We couldn’t do anything. We couldn’t act any differently. But the way he looked at me…”

There was a knowing hum on the other end. “Like he wanted to haul you into the nearest empty room and have his way with you?”

“Alex!” I groaned, heat rising to my cheeks. “Not in my dad’s house!”

“Oh, please, if your dad wasn’t there, you would’ve been all over him.”

I huffed, leaning against the wall. “Okay, fine, maybe. But it was torture. Every time we made eye contact, it felt like we were saying a thousand things we couldn’t say out loud.”

Alex sighed dreamily. “So what now? You gonna ‘inspect the floors’ again?”

I rolled my eyes, but a grin tugged at my lips. “He did say he might need a second opinion.”

“Oh, babe, you are in so much trouble.”

Tell me about it.

Sunday 7:43 pm

Joel sat in his truck, gripping the steering wheel tighter than necessary. His knuckles were damn near white. The engine idled softly, the only sound breaking through the quiet tension sitting heavy on his chest.

Today had been... unexpected.

He hadn't seen it coming—not her walking up to the damn house he and his crew were working on, not the way his stomach dropped when he realized who she was there for. Her dad.

Joel let out a long, slow breath, running a hand through his hair. It was a cruel joke, really. He’d spent the past month balancing on a tightrope, making sure no one caught onto them. He was careful, always. Even when he wanted to be reckless. But today, for the first time, she was in his world. His real world. And he had to pretend.

Pretend like she didn’t drive him damn crazy. Like he hadn’t just had his hands all over her a few nights ago. Like he wasn’t dying to touch her even then, when she was standing just feet away, talking to her dad, and all he could do was nod in acknowledgment.

And when they were left alone for a sliver of a moment—when she’d turned to him with that knowing look in her eyes—he felt it, that pull. That ache.

"Of all the houses in Austin, Miller," she had whispered, amusement laced in her voice, but her eyes had that softness, that warmth only he got to see.

"Yeah, funny how that works," he muttered, shoving his hands into his pockets so he wouldn’t do something stupid, like brush her hair back or drag his knuckles down her arm.

But it was more than just the surprise of it all. It was the fact that for a second, when he saw her there, talking to her dad, smiling—he saw a glimpse of something. A different life. A life where they weren’t sneaking around, where he could just reach for her without thinking twice.

He closed his eyes, sighing.

Didn’t matter.

They had a good thing going. A safe thing.

And yet, as he finally put the truck into drive and pulled away, he couldn’t shake the feeling that something was shifting.

Steamy intermission

The sound of hammering echoed from the other room, the low hum of the workers setting a rhythm in the background as I stepped into the quiet room with Joel. My dad had gone out for a bit, and the workers were busy in the other room. The space between us was charged, heavy with the tension that had been building for weeks now.

Joel’s eyes locked onto mine as the door clicked shut behind us. There was a moment of silence before he moved toward me, his steps slow but deliberate. “You know,” he said, his voice low, “this is probably not the best time.”

I couldn’t help but grin, a little nervous but far more eager. “Yeah, well, I don’t really do ‘best times.’”

Before I could finish, he was already right in front of me, his hand cupping my face, his thumb brushing lightly across my lips. I tilted my head up, breathing in the warmth of his scent as his lips hovered over mine.

“You’re trouble, you know that?” he murmured, the words a challenge, a teasing smirk tugging at the corners of his mouth.

“I’m exactly the kind of trouble you need,” I replied, my voice breathless, playful.

And with that, he kissed me. It was hungry, desperate, as if we both knew this might be the only chance for us to be alone. His hands found the curve of my waist, pulling me flush against him, the heat of his body seeping into mine. I gasped against his lips when I felt the unmistakable press of his desire.

“God,” Joel muttered, his voice rough. He kissed me again, deeper this time, his tongue brushing against mine in a rhythm that made my pulse race.

I slid my hands up the back of his neck, tugging him closer, feeling the tension in his muscles as he deepened the kiss. Every part of me was alive, my skin buzzing with the heat of him, of us. He pulled away briefly, his breath shaky, his hands now sliding down to my hips.

“You want this?” he asked, his voice low, his forehead resting against mine, his eyes dark with need.

“Yes,” I breathed, pressing myself against him, my hands fumbling with the buttons of his shirt, the need to feel his skin against mine overwhelming.

Before I knew it, I was back against the wall, Joel’s lips trailing down my neck, his hands moving to explore, to touch, to claim. Every kiss, every touch sent sparks through me, building something inside I couldn’t ignore.

"Joel..." I whispered, my voice strained, my hands tugging at his shirt, desperate to get closer.

He groaned, his lips finding mine again, and for a moment, we were lost—nothing but the heat, the urgency, the growing connection. The sounds of the workers in the other room faded into background noise, insignificant compared to the fire we were stoking between us.

A soft gasp escaped me when I then felt his hand between my legs, tugging at the lace of my panties before he managed to push them down far enough for his big hand to fit. His hand went back to my thigh, stroking while he kissed me hard, groaning softly against my lips when he felt my hand gripping his dick through his jeans.

Joel’s lips found mine again, about the same time his hand found my clit. I gasped but spread my legs, moaning softly as he touched me in gentle circles, rubbing in a balanced pleasure of fast and slow. I could tell he was eager, the way his fingers traveled all over my slick folds, feeling my warmth and wetness and drawing sweet gasps and moans from me.

“Joel”  I breathed out in a moan, a weak attempt at a warning when he inserted two fingers in me. I was already close, this would surely pull me over the edge. Joel only smirked and went down to my neck, kissing and nibbling and sucking to make small subtle marks.

‘’Come for me, darlin’,’’ he whispered in a dark and raspy voice, full of want and need. When he put his thumb to my clit and started stroking in rhythm to his fingers, I could do nothing more but to grip his shoulders and welcome the familiar throbbing heat building up in my core. It took all of me not to scream as I came, waves of pleasure ripping through my body and my moans merely a distant sound. Joel kept going until I was down from my high, legs trembling from the overstimulation.

I let go of him and panted, looking up at the ceiling and face flushed red.

He kissed the tip of my nose as he helped me back into my now, soaked panties, and jeans then walked off like he didn’t just make me come in under five minutes. 

One Week Later

The scent of fresh paint and sawdust clung to the warm afternoon air as Alex and I stepped onto the front porch of my dad’s new house. The place was coming together—slowly but surely. The once-empty space was now taking the shape of a home, and I could already picture my dad in it, settling into his quiet new life here.

“Dad?” I called as I pushed open the door, letting Alex follow behind me.

“In the kitchen, kiddo,” his voice rang out.

The sound of a drill hummed in the background, coming from deeper inside the house. Alex shot me a knowing look, already sensing the presence of a certain contractor nearby.

“You know, if we keep coming around, you’re gonna get roped into manual labor,” she teased under her breath.

“Too late,” I muttered, just as we entered the kitchen and found my dad leaning against the counter, a familiar figure beside him.

Joel.

He was dressed in his usual work attire—worn jeans, tool belt slung low on his hips, and a gray t-shirt that was just tight enough to make my thoughts go places they shouldn’t. His sleeves were pushed up, forearms dusted with a bit of sawdust. He glanced up as I entered, something flickering in his gaze before he masked it with a nod.

“Hey,” he greeted, voice even.

“Hey,” I echoed.

Alex was practically vibrating beside me, but she played it cool, offering my dad a bright smile. “House looks great! The kitchen’s really coming together.”

“Yeah, thanks to Joel and his guys.” Dad clapped Joel on the back. “They’ve been busting their asses to get it done right.”

Joel gave a small chuckle, shaking his head. “Just doin’ my job.”

“Well, the least I can do is feed you,” Dad said, suddenly turning his attention to Joel. “You got dinner plans?”

Joel’s eyes flicked to me for a fraction of a second before he shook his head. “Nah, nothin’ set in stone.”

“Good, then you’re comin’ with us. I’m making steak.”

I felt Alex’s arm press against mine as she barely contained a squeal of excitement. Meanwhile, my heart did a funny little stutter.

Joel didn’t hesitate. “Wouldn’t say no to steak.”

And just like that, the night took an unexpected turn.

The smell of grilled steak and roasted potatoes filled the kitchen as Dad moved around, flipping something sizzling in a cast iron pan. Alex had taken up the job of setting the table, occasionally sending me a knowing smirk. Joel stood near the sink, arms crossed, looking far too comfortable in this house that I wasn’t used to calling my dad’s yet.

Joel had been here every day this week, finishing up final touches with his crew. And because I’d been helping Dad, I’d been here every day too. We had danced around each other in broad daylight, perfectly cordial in front of everyone, careful not to give anything away.

Alex, of course, saw right through it.

“Dinner’s gonna be ready soon,” Dad announced as he shuffled into the kitchen, opening the fridge and pulling out a pack of steaks. “You girls staying?”

Alex answered before I could. “Yep! Wouldn’t miss it.”

I shot her a look, but she just smiled sweetly and went back to unpacking dishes.

Dad turned to Joel. “You’re staying too, right?”

Joel hesitated. “Oh, I—”

“C’mon, man. You’ve been working all day. Least I can do is feed you.”

Alex shot me a look that I pretended not to see.

Joel rubbed a hand over his jaw, stealing a glance at me before clearing his throat. “Yeah, alright. Appreciate it.”

“Perfect,” Dad said, satisfied. He clapped a hand on Joel’s shoulder as he moved past him, tossing the steaks onto the counter. “Beer’s in the fridge. Help yourself.”

Joel gave a small nod before stepping back, still watching me. I could feel Alex practically vibrating with excitement beside me.

“Oh, this is gonna be good,” she whispered under her breath.

I wasn’t sure if she meant the food or the situation, but either way, she wasn’t wrong.

As dinner came together, the four of us settled around the dining table. Dad had made steaks, roasted potatoes, and grilled veggies, and despite my mild discomfort at the current company, my stomach growled.

“So,” Dad started as he cut into his steak, “how’s school going, kid?”

I swallowed my bite of potato. “It’s going fine. Just juggling classes and work at the cafe, nothing too crazy.”

Dad nodded approvingly. “Proud of you, y’know. Working hard.”

I felt Joel’s eyes flicker toward me, but I didn’t look at him. “Thanks, Dad.”

He turned to Joel. “And how’s your little girl doing? Sarah, right?”

Joel’s face softened. “Yeah, she’s doin’ real good. Smart as hell, keeps me on my toes.”

Dad smiled. “That’s great. Kids grow up fast.” He glanced between us. “You must have your hands full. I know she keeps my daughter busy.”

The air in the room changed instantly. My stomach flipped. I could feel Joel tense beside me.

Alex coughed into her drink, barely stifling her laughter.

Joel, to his credit, kept his cool. “Yeah, she’s real fond of her.”

Dad nodded like it was the most casual thing in the world. “Good. I trust my girl wouldn’t babysit for just anyone.”

I forced a smile and shoved a piece of steak into my mouth, pretending like my heart wasn’t hammering in my chest.

Alex’s phone buzzed then, and she glanced at the screen before making an exaggerated gasp. “Oh no.”

“What?” I asked, raising a brow.

She stood abruptly, pressing her phone to her ear. “It’s Ethan—hang on, I gotta take this.” She walked off toward the kitchen, leaving me, Joel, and my dad alone at the table.

I shot daggers at her back.

She absolutely did that on purpose.

And now it was just the three of us.

Perfect.

Alex came back into the room announcing she would have to leave early due to an ‘emergency’ but I saw her shit eating grin. 

Dad packed up some tupperware to go for her and she left. 

“So, how did ya get into contracting?” Dad asked, cutting through the tension like he had no idea it was there.

Joel wiped his mouth with his napkin, buying himself a second before answering. “Oh, me and my brother Tommy run it together.”

Dad raised an eyebrow, interest piqued. “Family business, huh?”

Joel nodded, settling back in his chair. “Somethin’ like that. We take on a mix of jobs—big ones like this house, smaller renovations, repairs. Keeps us busy.”

Dad seemed impressed. “That’s good. You trust your family more than anyone else when it comes to work like that.”

Joel huffed a quiet chuckle. “Yeah, most of the time.”

“So how’d she end up babysitting for you?” Dad nodded toward me, and my heart skipped a beat.

Joel didn’t miss a beat. “She saw my flyer.”

I picked up the cue instantly. “Yeah, on the cafe board. You know how parents post those when they need sitters?”

Dad nodded, completely believing it. “Smart. And Sarah likes you, so it worked out.”

Joel’s hand curled into a loose fist on the table. The only sign that, despite how smoothly we were handling this, he was still wound tight.

I shot him a tiny, reassuring smile before grabbing our empty plates. “I’ll clean up.”

Dad stretched again. “I’ll be outside. You two can join me when you’re done.”

Joel exhaled as soon as the back door shut behind him. His shoulders dropped just a fraction, like he’d been carrying something heavy this whole time.

I bumped my hip against his as I passed. “You handled that well.”

He gave me a look. “Could’ve been bad.”

“But it wasn’t.” I let my fingers brush his wrist for just a second before stepping away. “You should go out there. Keep up the good impression.”

Joel watched me for a moment, eyes lingering, before he nodded and stood. “Yeah. But I’ll help ya first.”

I turned back to the sink, biting my lip to keep from smiling.

The soft hum of the dishwasher was the only noise between us as I scrubbed away at a plate, the gentle scent of dish soap filling the kitchen. Joel was standing beside me, drying off the glasses as I washed, like we’d been doing this forever. The little routine felt almost too normal, too comfortable, but I liked it. I liked that we didn’t have to say anything to fill the silence.

His movements were smooth, practiced. I couldn’t help but admire the way he worked, how natural it felt to have him by my side, even in this simple task. His hand brushed against mine more than once as he reached for a dish, his fingers lingering longer than necessary. Each touch sent a flutter through me, like a reminder of the chemistry that was always between us, even when we didn’t speak.

“You’re good at this,” I murmured, trying to break the comfortable silence.

Joel’s lips quirked up in a small smile. “Guess I’ve had a lot of practice.” His eyes shifted to mine, that familiar warmth there. “You always do the dishes at home?”

“Not really,” I replied, glancing up at him as I rinsed a pan. “Usually, I just let it pile up.”

He raised an eyebrow at that. “I’d say I’m impressed, but it’s not the first time I’ve seen your ability to avoid chores.” His teasing tone had me grinning as I handed him another dish to dry.

We continued the rhythm, like we’d done this every night for years. The soft clinking of plates, the light hum of conversation, the gentle way Joel’s hand brushed mine every time he reached for the towel—it all felt like something simple, but something right.

“Need some help?” I asked, setting the last bowl in the sink.

“Just keep handing me stuff,” Joel said, his voice low and calm as he grabbed another glass, his fingers brushing my wrist as he did.

I passed him a plate, his hand catching mine this time, pulling me just a little closer. His thumb traced over the back of my hand, sending a shiver through me. My breath hitched, and I looked up at him, my heart racing a little faster now.

Joel didn’t move away, his eyes flickering from my hand to my face, his jaw tightening slightly. The air between us thickened, like it had every other time we’d been close, but this time it felt different—more intimate, like we were caught in a moment where everything else didn’t matter.

His gaze lingered on my lips, and I felt the heat between us intensify. The tension was undeniable, and it was like neither of us knew how we’d arrived here, but we weren’t pulling away.

I took a step forward, closing the distance between us. His hand slipped from mine to rest on my lower back, pulling me gently against him. The feel of his body against mine made my pulse race. I could feel his breath on my neck as his lips brushed over my ear, sending a wave of warmth through me.

“You sure you want this?” Joel murmured, his voice rough, like he was struggling to keep control.

I nodded, my fingers threading through the collar of his shirt as I pulled him closer. “Yeah.”

Without another word, his lips crashed onto mine, a kiss full of hunger and need that had been building for weeks.

We stumbled back, Joel’s hands moving to cup my face as he deepened the kiss, his body pressing against mine, urging me to follow him as we made our way toward the living room. I couldn’t pull away, not when everything felt so right, so perfect.

The world outside disappeared, leaving only the quiet hum of our breathing, the sound of our hearts beating in sync. And just like that, we fell into each other—not rushing, just letting the moment unfold at its own pace, wrapped in the comfort of each other’s arms.

Joel pulled away briefly, his forehead resting against mine, his breath coming in shallow bursts. “You still okay with this?”

“More than okay,” I whispered, before pulling him back in for another kiss.

Joel’s hands slid lower, settling on my hips as he pulled me closer, his warmth enveloping me. Every part of him seemed to fit against me perfectly, like we were made for this moment. My own hands found their way to the back of his neck, threading through the dark strands of his hair as the kiss deepened.

We moved together, our bodies swaying to some rhythm that only we could hear, the sounds of the world outside fading into a distant hum. The kitchen, the dishes—everything else disappeared as we focused solely on each other, the connection between us building with every touch, every kiss.

His lips parted from mine for a brief second, his breath heavy as he looked down at me, his eyes searching my face for any sign of hesitation. “You sure?” he asked again, his voice hushed and a little strained.

I nodded, the words sticking in my throat as the heat between us intensified. My own hands began to wander, exploring the solid lines of his chest beneath his shirt, tracing the muscles I’d grown used to feeling beneath my fingertips. His skin felt like fire, burning beneath my touch.

Joel let out a low groan, his grip tightening on my waist as if holding onto the last thread of control. “God, you make it hard to think straight,” he muttered, his lips brushing against my jaw as he kissed down the curve of my neck, each touch setting me alight.

My heart was racing, every nerve in my body aware of him, of us, of this moment. I wasn’t sure if I was trying to hold onto something, or if I was falling into something new—something deeper than anything I’d expected. But I didn’t care. I didn’t want to care.

As he kissed me again, deeper this time, more urgent, I pulled him toward the couch, guiding him gently but firmly as I let myself fall back onto the cushions. He followed me without hesitation, his weight pressing me into the soft fabric, and I sighed, the sensation both comforting and electrifying.

His hands were everywhere, each touch gentle but eager, like he was trying to savor the moment, to make it last longer than either of us could handle. I could feel him against me, the undeniable pulse of desire growing with every second, every breath.

But it wasn’t just about the physical, not just about the heat and the longing. It was about the feeling that had been building for weeks, the quiet intimacy that had settled between us since the first time we’d truly touched. Every kiss, every soft word, had led us here, to this point where nothing mattered except the space between us.

When he pulled away again, his eyes dark with need, I took a steadying breath, my hand still tangled in the fabric of his shirt. “Joel…” I whispered, my voice barely more than a breath.

“Yeah?” he asked, his voice gravelly, his gaze never leaving mine.

I could feel the intensity, the electricity in the air, and in that moment, I knew without a doubt that this wasn’t just about one night, one kiss, or one stolen moment. It was about something more. Something real.

“I’m here,” I said, the words feeling more meaningful than I could explain. And it was true—right then, in that quiet, peaceful space between us, I was exactly where I was meant to be.

Joel’s lips curled into a smile, that same warmth I’d seen before in his eyes now matched in the curve of his lips. Slowly, he lowered his head, brushing his lips against mine in a kiss that was soft, tender, and full of promise.

And for a while, we just stayed there, wrapped in each other’s arms, letting the world around us fade away.

After ten minutes of just embracing each other we eventually wrapped up the little dishes we had left and grabbed some beers to join my dad on his patio. 

We both slid into the chairs across from him, the casual ease of the night still hanging around us. Joel cracked open his beer with a satisfying pop, his eyes catching mine for a brief moment before he looked away, a half-smile playing at his lips. It was easy with him like this—no rush, no tension, just the simple company of two people enjoying each other’s presence.

“Alright,” my dad started, setting his own drink down. “Alex told me something I think we should all discuss.”

I glanced at Joel, who raised an eyebrow, clearly curious about where this was going. I gave him a quiet smile, taking a sip of my beer, trying to focus on what my dad was about to say.

“She mentioned that we should celebrate after all the work done around here. Fixing up the house, getting it in shape. Maybe a little staycation getaway?” My dad’s gaze shifted between Joel and me. “You know, to unwind. Maybe head to the cabin. My old place up in the hills. Thought it might be fun if you came along, Joel. It’s just a weekend—nothing fancy. But it could be a good time.”

I blinked, surprised. A getaway? His old cabin had always been a quiet place, peaceful and far enough away from the city to feel like an escape. But... the thought of spending a weekend there with Joel, and my dad, and maybe Alex, suddenly felt like a lot more than just a trip to relax.

Joel hesitated, his fingers curling around the neck of the bottle. I watched him, knowing he was trying to gauge what my dad’s invitation meant. “You really think that’s a good idea?” he asked, a bit cautious.

“Why not?” my dad replied, leaning back in his chair. “It’d be good for all of us. We could fish, drink a little, and hang out. No pressure, just... time to unwind. What do you say?”

Joel looked over at me, his eyes softening as if silently asking me if it was something I’d want. I gave him a small, reassuring smile, trying not to let the sudden rush of nerves overwhelm me. I had no idea how this weekend would go, but I wasn’t going to back out. It might be awkward—hell, it might be weird—but it also sounded... nice.

“Alright,” Joel said after a beat, his voice steady. “I’m in. Sounds like a good time.”

My dad gave him a satisfied nod. “Great. It’ll be good for you. All of us. It’s been a while since we’ve had a chance to just... be.”

There was a brief silence as we all took a sip from our beers, and then my dad added with a grin, “And, hey, why don’t we invite Tommy and Sarah? There’s plenty of room in the cabin. Sarah would love it, and Tommy could use a break from work.”

I looked at Joel, seeing the hesitation flicker in his eyes, but then it softened into a resigned smile. “Yeah, sounds like a good idea,” he said, rubbing the back of his neck. “Could be nice for Sarah to get away for a bit.”

I nodded, a little unsure of what this would look like with my dad and Joel there, but I liked the idea of having the whole group together. It was an easy atmosphere, something that made me feel like things were shifting in the best way.

“We’ll make it happen then,” my dad said, his voice low and steady as he took a sip of his drink. “It’ll be a good weekend for all of us.”

We sat back into our chairs, the air growing a little quieter around us as the idea of the weekend started to settle in. Joel’s hand found mine under the table again, the gesture making me feel a little lighter. Despite the unease gnawing at the back of my mind, I couldn’t help but feel a little excited about the weekend to come.

[publishinggoblin]

What Makes Confluence New?

Right now on Backerkit, Confluence: The Living Archive is in its final 11 days of funding. This is a Table Top Role Playing Game unlike any other, but not just for the reasons you might think.

Look, yes, it's a 6 book set with incredible art and layout and an amazing world to explore. This is all true. It's a true living world you get to dive into and experience at the table. That's great, truly!

But the thing that made Confluence different from any other project out there that I've ever heard of, is that in this industry, freelance writing for TTRPGs pays pennies on the word you turn in.

Some people were recently talking about how 10 cents per word is pretty good! You write 5000 words for a project? That's a nice $500. Other indie people were talking about paying 7 cents per word. But what they almost never offer is hourly pay, or pay for work you do outside the writing (including researching the game material you're writing for, or research for what you're writing!)

The Confluence Contract

Confluence has always meant the world to me. Truly. I tried to fund it and make it on my own multiple times in the past. When the Alleyman's Tarot was successful, I immediately wrote the contract with my lawyer for Confluence.

Everyone who worked on the project would make $25/hr for any work they do on the project. We would all feel we had equal pull and power here in that way, as it had to be collaborative.

Everyone would be paid an up-front Retainer of $10,000 if they were going to work part time, or $20,000 if they were going to work 30 or more hours a week. This was to alleviate current financial stress and give them space to explore the game with more freedom.

Everyone who worked on the project would share ownership with things they make. New cool mechanic? It lives in Confluence AND the creator can take it to their own games later. Awesome NPC? In Confluence and can be adapted anywhere else! I didn't want anyone to hold anything back. As far as I know, this has never been done before.

I did all this because, you see, I had an amazing team of people who came together to help bring this to life. People in the US, yes, but in Canada, the UK, Brazil, India, the Philippines. You can learn more and get links to them on the Pub Gob website here!

Do You Expect This to be the New Standard?

No, I don't expect all indie publishers to start doing this for TTRPGs. It's costly and not easy. But I want to stress that this is a unique situation we will likely never see again. And Confluence can only exist into the future with such an amazing team if we can step up support on the crowdfunding project!

This experiential game doesn't want to change the industry, but it changed the process behind the scenes already. If you believe in such a thing, a possibility for people to be paid fairly and have equal say and keep the rights for their works, consider believing in this project with us. Confluence needs your help to reach its funding goal, but it also needs your help to push further so the team can continue working in this amazing space to bring you even more materials in the future!

So check us out on Backerkit today!

[blackbackedjackal]

I was the one who started the server and founded the studio. I invited DogBlud to the server.

I was an investor on the project, quoted a total of $5200 out of the full $13,600 on a website that DogBlud commissioned Angela and her team to make.

One of the first red flags I noticed as an investor was that DogBlud never patched me through to Angela and her team. She said she would after I read over and agreed to the contract that Angela wrote up, but she never did. She promised to add me and Rex to a server with Angela so we could keep up to date with the progress. This never happened.

I messaged DogBlud several times about my payments. My first one was due February 12th. I didn't know where to send the funds and brought it up with her several days before. It was around this time that I suspected she was hiding me away from Angela and her team, and now I know why.

According to Angela's own account, DogBlud is saying she invited ME to the project. Which is a blatant lie. So let's go ahead and add taking credit for space a Black woman created, a space that was predominantly women of color (DogBlud being the ONLY exception) to the pile.

Dog was not the "group leader". She was tasked with being an investor, my business partner/consultant, a writer, and an inker. Since we agreed to start on her project, Same As Always, first, I asked her to be a project manager so that she could tell us the art direction she wanted us to take. She was asked to do these things, by me, the studio founder and lead who was working on contracts, setting up meetings with lawyers/other investors and participants, researching for and planning a KickStarter campaign that was intended to help us raise more money for the studio, set up an LLC for the studio, be a character/writing consultant, cultural consultant, art director, colorist, and more.

The reason I "wasn't able to hit my deadlines" is because A. She made completely unrealistic deadlines on a project that I and Rex were under the impression was volunteer work since none of us were getting paid. We agreed to this because we knew that a lot of work needed to be completed before the site launched.

B. Because I was in the process of moving (a move that DogBlud encouraged me to do due to my horrid living situation at the time) and did not have access to my PC for certain working hours that was had agreed to. I was working consistently on the off-hours to make up for any scheduled time I missed (my art updates were posted in the server) and kept the team updated with my moving situation. I assured Dog that once I was done moving, I'd be on a proper schedule. My move was delayed and complicated due to external factors outside of my control. After about a week and a half into what was a three week process, Dog either stopped acknowledging my updates in the chat or said that she "wasn't happy" with me even though she was harassing me and pressuring me to work on pages nearly every day when I physically could not work on them.

[eliotquillon]

I'm in the mood to torture you: rank your own house md fics

HAHAHAHA THIS IS SO FUCKING FOUL. i have 42 posted on ao3 so i won’t rank all of them but i’ll do a top 10 (and also call out my least fave fic)

MY LEAST FAVE FIC I’VE WRITTEN:

playing along: this was the first fic i ever wrote and posted for the fandom, and i think it shows. it’s not…bad necessarily; even in my worst doom spirals i know that i’m like. a passable writer lol. but if i were to write another fic about cameron’s first day on the job it would be very different to this one. i just didn’t have any practice yet, y’know. the first fic in a new fandom is always a bit rough. so yeah i genuinely would not recommend this one; my grasp on characterisation is a lot better now!

TOP 10, IN ASCENDING ORDER:

10) when the letter’s done and signed: the first of my two camchase epistolary fics! i love writing epistolary and i love early s1 camchase. it was fun to write and i think it’s fun to read!

9) spring cleaning season: my contract renewals story!! there are a lot of things i like about this, mostly the outsider pov parts and the final section about foreman’s renewal. fun fact i stole the title of this fic from a poem i wrote last year when i was in post-breakup blues LMAO

8) walking towards me with a purpose: the camchase pda fic. again, fun to write outsider pov but i’m especially proud of my house/cuddy banter here :)

7) sixteen hours ahead: cameron housesitting for chase during fwb era…i love this fic so much there are so many fun turns of phrase i put in here that i’m really proud of.

6) jusqu’ici tout va bien: MY NO REASON CODA FIC!! i am so insanely proud of this it was the third fic i ever wrote for this fandom and sometimes i’m like. damn. i really wrote that. i love no reason and i loved writing this fic so much. pls read it

5) wax and wane: cameron in chicago pre-lockdown. this is heavy fucking angst but i am very proud of it. maybe the closest i’ll ever get to writing an unhappy ending for camchase IM A LOVERGIRL I CANT HELP IT…

4) the princeton-plainsboro eighth annual oncology benefit series: ok cheating cus this is 3 fics in one but picking a favourite would be like picking a favourite child. i really like all of these—it was good characterisation practice, writing the same scene with the same blocking from different povs—and you all know how i feel about s3 post fwb era (insane)

3) aftersun: MY BELOVED POST S3 SUMMER FIC…i wrote this to procrastinate my secret evil projects and i love it. lowkey this fic makes me self-obsessed i love writing for myself sometimes

2) but only for now: TIME LOOP FIC EVERYBODY!!! i will update this soon i prommy. of course i love time loop fic it’s where my obsession with 2x7 hunting started in earnest and also it’s all about cameron and also there’s a time loop. and i really like a lot of my prose here soz. i will talk about this fic to literally anyone who asks.

1) before the rooster crows: my house / chase relationship study. i think i got possessed while writing this. i’m so proud of it. if you’re going to read anything of mine please please read this even though cameron’s not really in it because i think it’s the first and last time i got house’s voice down.

[gerec]

For the past couple of weeks I've been part of a small team responsible for the logistics of a prestigious competition/event; last night was the formal Awards Banquet where we were served an amazing dinner catered by one of the city's best restaurants. During the breaks where we weren't running the show/working, I had a very long and in-depth conversation with a young colleague who's worked on this project all the way from the beginning planning stages (i.e. as far back as Feb/Mar this year). She shared her disappointment with the lack of acknowledgement that she's gotten from the agency's management for all the long hours and hard work she's poured into this project, and also the incredible frustration over the poor treatment she's getting from the same. For instance, she flew in from out of town, but because she's contracted to work 4 out of 5 days a week they're not paying her for today's travel day back home (which if you don't know is standard practice for event management - travel time is part of the job). This is just one of a long list of examples she shared with me.

The good news is, she's already decided to quit at the end of her contract (which is soon), but she still had some misgivings about doing so; like asking herself what, if anything, she could have done differently, and feeling like she failed because this is her first job out of uni and she couldn't make a longer go of it. For the record, she's an absolute delight and a superb employee - and if I were in a position to hire staff I would hire her in a heart beat. (Also she's been full time for a year and part time for 2 before that so...she's absolutely not leaving without giving it a go.)

I guess I'm sharing this story because there might be young people like her out there who need to hear what I told her last night. So here goes:

Yes, work can be frustrating and can suck - badly - at times, but you should not hesitate to leave any job where you're crying on a regular basis because of how stressful it is and how badly you're treated.

Yes, you should leave a job where your manager berates you regularly, or sends you emails on weekends/outside of work hours to berate you. If they have an issue with your performance, they should explain what you're doing wrong and help you or give you the tools to do it properly not just yell at you. I know this happens a lot (sadly) but also know that this is NOT normal and NOT something you simply have to suffer in silence over. You have every right to expect to be treated fairly, courteously and professionally at work.

Yes, you should leave a job where people take advantage of you and don't pay you for the hours you work. I read a lot about Gen X and Boomers lamenting the Gen Z's for not being good workers because they're not willing to put in the blood sweat and tears to hang on to their jobs but I'm Gen X and I say that's BULLSHIT. A) Not every Boomer/Gen X feels that way, and B) Employers, no matter how nice they are as people, or how much you might like them will absolutely take advantage of you and SCREW YOU if they can. You can and should fight for your every goddamned hard-earned/well deserved dollar because no one else will do it for you. Same goes for your career - you are the only one you can rely on to make the best decisions for you.

So why am I working with these guys? Well, I'm a freelancer (I'm a Marketing Consultant) currently going project by project so I have the freedom to say no to any job I don't want to take and also to walk away the minute it no longer suits me to continue the relationship. I've also been at this for 28 years, so I imagine there's a bit of reverse ageism going on because they know they can't pull the same crap with me. (So there you go, this one time in this one instance, being older helps lol).

Anyways, the job market is rough, many employers are appallingly rude to job seekers (ask me about ghost job postings some time UGH) and people can be dicks (water is wet ha). Just...know your own worth and don't feel bad about leaving something if it's not working - you owe loyalty to no one but yourself.

[zymruk]

Can you stop? [Shang-Chi x Reader]

AN: I received this request and honestly thanks for asking me to write it. I don't know how much it's gonna take me to write it, but I'll try. sorry for any grammar mistakes

Y/A/N: Your agency's name

Warning: none, really.

Synopsis: Shaun wasn't always a door guy. He used to work as a bodyguard.

I'm probably gonna follow up with a one-shot

It was Tuesday third of October, when you woke up to the sound of pounding at your door. It took you a while to remember the cause of the noise. You had an appointment today for a promotional ad for some cream. And judging by the time you were late.

"Come on Y/N, you don't want another one of Lelie's scoldings!" Said Shawn outside your door. Shawn was the bodyguard you'd gotten since the renewal of your contract at Y/A/N. The previous one had just closed down, so you were in dire need of a new one, fortunately, Les still wanted you as a client. The both of you, then, decided on holding your own fort. Still, you needed a bodyguard, the previous one had been hired by someone by the time you'd found a compromise with Les. Coincidentally, Shawn had all the qualifications, thus, was hired.

Leslie was your agent. She could be a bit cranky on bad days, but the worst ones were when you were late to your appointments. And you were. In less time than you planned, you had been showered, dressed and ready to go. After all, you would change once again at the shooting set when you' would 'd arrive. The clothes you were supposed to be wearing already picked out by dear Leslie.

"Thanks. I think I forgot to put on my alarm." You turned to Shawn, whom had already bought you coffee. You would need it today. Not only did you have to shoot an ad, later in the day you were needed at the inauguration of a theater funded by the Stark Relief Foundation.

You'll smile, take pictures for two hours and even go through four more hours watching a documentary on the creation of the Stark industries. Apparently, the theater director had insisted on it being projected during the inauguration, though many had wanted to watch something else. Thanks to Leslie, however, you wouldn't suffer alone, as she'd been able to snatch another ticket for Shawn. He would watch the terribly long documentary with you. Not that he really had a choice. I mean, he was paid to do it.

Now in the car, going to the set location, you couldn't help but get lost in the sights of the road. You often didn't have the time to stop and admire what was around you. More often than you'd want, you needed to be at ten places at the same time. It was tiring, but, like everybody, you had a job to do and your mouth to feed. Also, your job wasn't as terrible as it could've been. You were lucky. You had, comfortably, a thing that few could claim and, money. In terms, you couldn't really complain.

"What are you thinking about?" Shawn's voice took you out of your reverie. He was looking at you through the rearview mirror. You'd almost forgotten him with how quiet he'd been.

"Everything and nothing at once. Why?" Now that he was looking at the road again, you could observe him without any restraint. He was a handsome young man, the same age as you if you were not mistaken, maybe a bit older. But handsome, no less. He'd seen a lot of things with you in this one year of 'partnership'. He'd protected you from weirdos trying to break into your changing rooms, had shielded you from someone trying to snatch you at a signing event.You'd been vulnerable with during this year, he'd seen you break down more times than you could count and still found it in himself to be comprehensive about it. You were safe with him, so much so that you'd considered him an ally; a friend, if you will.

¸

Once the shooting was done, you two were on your way back to your hotel, where you'd go back to your respective rooms and change clothes. You were given a y/f/c garment that complimented your body in the best of ways. You could thank Leslie and the stylist she'd gotten you for that. Though you weren't feeling the event as much as you should've, you still felt better knowing you wouldn't be alone. Shawn would be with you.

"Hey, are you ready?" You could hear his voice outside your door as you were staring at your reflection.

"Yeah, I'm coming." You were content with the way you looked. Plus, you wouldn't stay all night. After the screening, or during, you'd find a way to take your leave without anyone noticing. You had faith in that.

Once out of the room, you almost bumped with him, by how close he was to the entrance. The suit he was wearing was remarkably perfect in him. It was as if he was the one blessed by a fairy or something. Also, it was worth noting that his faced had been done. Probably Leslie and her need for every picture to be perfect. You were all the more enthralled by his eyeshadow.

Or rather, his eyes, to be more precise. Whomever Leslie had hired had truly mastered their craft. All in all, the makeup suited him, you'd go as far as to say it really complimented his face.

"Maybe we should get moving." He said, his voice above a whisper. You hadn't realized the two of you had been standing in this hallway for a while now. You didn't know what could've happened if anything had happened in the tiny moment.

"Yeah, definitely. Do you have any plans after tonight?" The words escaped your mouth before you could even hold them back. It was true that Shawn would be free later in the night. He'd be done with his shift. Elsa would take hers right after him. You didn't know why you needed a nocturn security guard; but Leslie knew what she was doing, you trusted her too.

"No, I was planning on watching a movie and falling asleep to it." You felt stupid for even asking the question, obviously the guy wanted to relax and chill after this day of running around.

"Do you have any plans for tonight?" You hadn't even gotten the time to engage with his answer that he'd already asked you a question.

"No, I'm probably gonna stay in my room late and wait for sleep to find me."

"Why don't we both watch a movie and fall asleep to it then?" You had to agree the suggestion was appealing. You wanted to have fun and maybe that would be the one fun thing you'd be doing this week. In less than a minute you'd made your mind.

"Yeah, sure. Did you have movie picked out already?" The both of you had already taken the direction of your room. It was in all honesty the biggest of the two.

"Yeah, I had an inkling for ratatouille by scary movie is also kinda good." He'd say his hands in his pockets. You couldn't see it but her was smiling.

"I'm more of a scary movie type of gall." You said turning your head towards him as you were unlocking your room.

[waytooinvested]

Forgotten, Not Forgiven - Chapter 18

This and previous chapters are also on AO3

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Lena stood as Kara ushered Nia inside, seeming unaware of the vibrating hum of tension her two guests were sharing as they prepared to set the stage for what needed to come next.

‘Come on in Nia! Look who dropped round to surprise me.’

Nia did a clearly fake double take and then waved like Lena might not have spotted her from a few paces across the room.

‘Oh hey Lena, what a cool coincidence!’

Lena smiled indulgently at the over-enthusiastic play of their ‘happening’ to be here at the same time. Despite how many secrets this little group kept, hardly any of them seemed to be able to lie convincingly, and it made her wonder yet again how she had ever been taken in. Maybe she should offer to give them all a Luthor crash course.

Then again… maybe not. They might be on their way to being proper friends, but teaching them how to lie to her more effectively was just asking for trouble.

‘Hello Nia, I hope you don’t mind me crashing your time with Kara like this. I just heard the news about your new contracts and thought I’d bring round some champagne to celebrate – would you like a glass?’

‘Oh that’s such a shame. I would love some, but actually Kara was going to help me practise some dream power stuff, and it will work best if we’re sober. If you don’t mind hanging out for a bit we could have some after though? Maybe with another movie night? I had a lot of fun last time – and of course you’d be welcome to join in the dream journey too if you’d like to.’

To avoid unexpected snags they had rehearsed how this interaction should play out ahead of time, and Lena knew her part as well as Nia. It felt strange to be putting on this level of performance for Kara – uncomfortably like lying, but they had no choice, Project Atlantis was too important to risk to chance.

‘Thank you for the offer, but I prefer not to dwell too much in my dreams, they can go to places I’d rather not to revisit in my waking hours if I can help it. If it’s okay with you both I would like to stick around and see how it’s done though – I’ve been curious about it for a while, from a scientific perspective, and it would be nice to have another hang out session afterwards. Would that be alright with you Kara?’

‘Of course! More Lena time is always alright with me. Won’t you get bored while Nia and I are dreaming though?’

‘Not at all. I have an excellent book on the go, and my tablet if I decide to be really virtuous and answer some work emails. I’ll barely notice the time passing.’

It was as simple as that. Lena was in.

She sat back down on the couch while Kara and Nia settled cross legged onto large throw pillows on the floor. Nia talked a bit about what she knew about how the dream powers worked, and what she was expecting to happen once they got started. Then Nia and Kara held hands and closed their eyes, and after a few seconds they both went still, their breathing syncing up as they entered whatever dream space Nia had led them to.

Honestly, she had kind of been expecting it to look more magical. Maybe glowing lights, the way Dreamer’s powers could be made to manifest when she fought, or some kind of mystical aura, or hum. But from the outside all there was to see was her two friends. It was a little like watching people meditate. Or nap sitting up.

Lena did her best to do as she had said she would and answer some work emails, in between periodic checks to make sure Kara still looked well. But she found that whenever she glanced down to her inbox, her mind filled with the image of Kara in their last Q-wave trial – the slow trickle of blood shockingly vivid against her skin – and she would immediately look back up at her, scrutinising for the slightest sign of anything going wrong. In the end she gave up on even the pretense of doing anything else, and simply watched Kara.

It was not exactly a hardship.

She tried not to let herself stare too openly at her best friend these days, lest it complicate things further than they already were, but now she was free to take her in without worrying about being caught, or making her uncomfortable.

And Kara was, quite simply, lovely.

Somehow she always seemed to be brighter than other people, as if she was permanently limned in the sunlight that gave her her powers, even now she couldn’t access them. Even when she was ducking her head and fidgeting with her cardigan sleeves and acting as if she didn’t want to be seen. Lena saw her.

Kara’s breath hitched.

It was subtle – the slightest stutter-step taking her out of time with Nia, but Lena was instantly on edge. Her instinct was to wake Kara immediately, but she knew it was too soon. The slight change could even be a good thing – a sign that something big was happening, that Kara was remembering. There was no blood, and no indication that this was necessarily a bad-

Kara went rigid, her head thrown suddenly back and a gasp ripping out of her that sounded like it was tearing at her lungs as the colour drained from her face in an instant and left her a scary shade of grey-white. Lena was beside her in two seconds flat, pulling her hands free from Nia’s and taking them in her own. They felt clammy, and her fingers stayed bent into stiff claws even as her limbs began to jerk against whatever she was experiencing in her mind.

‘Kara. Kara, darling, wake up. Come on, come back now, it’s alright. You’re home Kara, you’re safe, just open your eyes love.’

Kara’s eyes snapped open. They met Lena’s but didn’t seem to see her as she continued to gasp and jolt. Behind her Lena was aware of Nia coming round too, heard her quiet ‘oh my god…’, but didn’t spare her so much as a glance as she pulled Kara in against her chest, still whispering reassurances to her as she stroked her hair and rocked her gently back and forth.

‘You’re alright Kara, it’s over, you’re safe now. You’re home Kara, and I’m here, I’m going to look after you, I promise darling. I’ve got you Kara.’

She barely even registered her own words as she went on and on in this vein, but the soothing tone of her voice did seem to be getting through to Kara, as at last the strangled, wrenching gasps eased to mere panicked hyperventilations, and Kara’s hands unclenched from their claw-like curl to instead wrap around Lena’s forearms, as if she needed to hang onto her to keep her from leaving, or else to reassure herself that she was real. Her grip was painfully tight, but Lena wouldn’t have dreamt of trying to loosen it. Kara needed to hold something right now, and Lena would be her something.

‘Kara, I’m… I’m sorry, I never meant-’

Nia stuttered, sounding completely stricken, and now that the absolute worst was past Lena broke off her murmurings just long enough to reassure her.

‘It’s not your fault Nia, you couldn’t have known that this would happen. You should go home now though. Don’t worry, I’ll look after her, I promise. Will you please call Alex and let her know what happened? Tell her I’ll call her when I can to let her know how Kara is, but it might be late. Can you do that for me Nia?’

Nia nodded. She looked in shock and like she wasn’t sure if she wanted to stay and try to help, or run out of there to escape what had just happened. She was clearly upset, but Lena didn’t have time to worry about her right now. Nia had said she would call Alex, and she trusted the elder Danvers sister to give her whatever reassurance she might need.

Right now Lena’s only concern was Kara.

After what seemed like a long time, Kara’s tense muscles relaxed from jerky stiffness into slack trembling, and her silent shock dissolved into sobs. At last she released her fierce grip on Lena’s arms and instead shifted to wrap one arm around her in a loose embrace, her face burrowing down against Lena’s bare shoulder while her tears flowed freely. Now she wasn’t so rigid, Lena pulled her up gently to sit in her lap where she could hold her properly. She took Kara’s free hand and pressed it to her chest, right over her heart.

‘Do you feel that Kara? Focus on my heart. Count the beats, and try to breath when I breath, alright?’

She took a few slow deliberate breaths, allowing Kara to feel the rhythmic rise and fall beneath her palm.

‘I’m here. This is real. And you are safe now.’

Without looking up, Kara nodded against Lena’s now-wet shoulder, and pressed her palm a little more firmly against her skin.

They breathed together until Kara’s sobs subsided, and she had stopped shaking.

‘Thank you.’

‘Of course darling. How are you feeling now?’

‘Better. I didn’t know it was going to be like that though. Poor Nia. What an awful power to have.’

‘I don’t think it’s always as bad as that… do you want to talk about what happened?’

Kara sucked in a deep, shuddering breath, and Lena was sure she was going to say no, but she didn’t. She tucked herself more securely into Lena’s embrace, and started talking, her voice a little hoarse and with an odd hollowness that was not usually there, but steadier than could reasonably be expected after the intensity of her recent terror.

‘I actually really do. If I tell it then it’s just a story, it’s not as real.’

She stopped for a moment, gathering her words, and then plunged on like she was leaping off a cliff into an icy sea of memory, in the hopes of washing up on kinder shores.

‘To begin with it was a flying dream. That part was great – well, you can imagine. Nia said we should follow the source of the flying, and even though that doesn’t make any sense now I say it out loud, I knew what she meant, and I knew where to go. So we followed the source, and it led to this- wall I guess. But not like an ordinary wall – it was a huge black expanse that went on forever and didn’t seem to have a top, it just cut the world in two… I wanted to go back then, but Nia said we were close, and the source would be nearby, and I somehow knew she was right, so we kept following it and found this little hole. It was tiny, but Nia said that was the way to the source, and we should go through. I didn’t want to, but she thought it was important, so I tried.’

Kara broke off with a little shudder, but started up again before Lena had time to ask if she was alright, or if she needed a break.

‘The gap was so small I wasn’t even sure I could fit. I had to wriggle in on my belly, and I was scared I was going to get stuck, but by then I was too wedged in to back up properly even if I wanted to, so I thought if I just kept going I would get to the other side soon, and then I’d be wherever this source Nia kept talking about was, and I would have really helped her with her powers. Only it didn’t open up. I was just in this tiny tunnel that kept going for what seemed like miles, and it felt like it was getting tighter and tighter around me, like it didn’t want me in there and was trying to spit me back out, only I couldn’t get out because it was squeezing me so hard, and I couldn’t hear Nia anymore. I was completely alone.

And then... I wasn’t, and somehow that was so much worse. It was like I was back trapped in the car, only multiplied by about a million, and the Things trying to get to me were something so much more horrible than coyotes or wolves, they were… monsters, or demons, or something. I couldn’t see them, but I knew they were just a breath away from me in the dark, and that they really, really wanted to hurt me. I tried to move forwards to get away from them, but then the pain started. It felt like my skin was being seared off my bones, and my blood was full of nails that tore my heart to shreds with every pump, and I wanted to scream but my lungs were on fire and breathing hurt too much. I couldn’t move backwards or forwards anymore, I was just stuck there feeling all of it, forever. I was so, so alone, and everyone I loved was dead or dying and I couldn’t help them. And... you hated me Lena. I knew, somehow I knew that you hated me.’

Kara started crying again, but it was different this time. Less painful, tearing anguish and more cathartic, like she was washing out the lingering remains of her ordeal to leave a clean wound that could begin to heal.

Lena closed her eyes against the tears that welled there, refusing to let them fall when Kara so badly needed her to be strong. She buried her face into the golden waves of Kara’s hair and pressed a kiss to the top of her head instead, pouring all of the things she could not voice into the gesture before giving a more moderated response.

‘I don’t hate you Kara, I- nothing could be further from the truth. It sounds unimaginably horrific, but I promise you none of that was real. Everyone is safe. Alex is safe, and Nia and James, Winn, Kelly, Brainy, J’onn, Sam, Ruby, Eliza: no one you love is in any danger. You’re not in any danger. It’s all over, and you’re safe, alright?’

Kara sniffled and wiped her eyes.

‘I’m just so tired now. I feel like I’ve been fighting a battle for a year without stopping. I am so tired. But I don’t think I dare go to sleep, in case I go back there.’

‘How about if I stay with you? I’ll look after you, and if you show any signs of bad dreams – even just a murmur or a change in your breathing, I’ll wake you up, so you won’t be back there for more than a second.’

Kara hesitated.

‘I can’t ask you to do that.’

‘You’re not asking. And whatever happens I am not leaving you alone tonight. If you don’t want me to stay I’ll call Alex to come instead, but you need someone here with you.’

‘Well then… I’d rather it was you.’

Lena’s heart swelled at the quiet admission, and she gave Kara a gentle squeeze of acknowledgement.

‘Then I’ll stay... Do you happen to have some sweatpants and a t-shirt I could borrow though? It’s no problem if not, I can just stay in my clothes, but I didn’t exactly dress bed-time comfy tonight.’

To her surprise, Kara actually smiled then. It was just the barest tilt of lips, but it was unmistakably there, like a single ray of sunlight breaking through a mass of storm clouds, standing out all the more vividly for the darkness that had preceded it.

‘Yes. I actually have the perfect pajamas for you.’

The ‘perfect pajamas’, it turned out, consisted of a pair of pink pants patterned all over with paler pink and white blobs; and a soft white t-shirt with a matching pink trim and a printed image of two large anthropomorphised cartoon marshmallows, wearing sleepy smiles and holding stick-drawing hands beneath the words ‘you make me feel squishy’ in sugar-pink bubble writing.

Lena raised an eyebrow, and Kara flashed her an impish (if still slightly watery) grin in return.

‘Because you’re a marshmallow.’

‘Hmm.’

The pajamas were simultaneously so very much not Lena, and yet also kind of appropriate. Because Lena Luthor was absolutely not a marshmallow... Except when it came to Kara, maybe she kind of was.

Still, she couldn’t help feeling self-conscious as she emerged from the bathroom, makeup free and dressed in the sugary sweet outfit. She knew she looked silly, and childish in a way she rarely had even as an actual child (Lilian Luthor did not go in for cute when it came to choosing clothes for her offspring, and the only time Lena could ever remember wearing something with a cartoon print on it was the time in elementary school when Angela Howard had spilled chocolate milk over her at lunch and she had had to borrow a Tweety Pie t-shirt from the lost and found until the au pair had arrived with a fresh shirt), and as much as that shouldn’t matter right now, she instinctively crossed her arms over the picture on her chest as she stepped into the bedroom.

She was considering searching out a sweatshirt to at least cover up the top half, when Kara looked up from her comforter cocoon, took in Lena’s appearance, and let out a breath that seemed to carry half the weight of her nightmare away with it. Her tense shoulders lowered, the pinch between her brows smoothed, and she smiled with her eyes, the haunted look that had been lingering in them since the moment she resurfaced receding until it was almost eclipsed by something that Lena didn’t quite dare to name, but that made her cheeks warm until she was pretty sure they matched her pants.

‘You’re adorable.’

She cleared her throat and put her hands on her hips in unconscious imitation of Supergirl, realising a moment too late that she was no longer hiding the marshmallow print, and also that it didn’t matter.

‘I’ll have you know many people find me very intimidating.’

Kara ‘hmmm-ed’, her nose crinkling with feigned scepticism, and Lena let her arms drop to her sides, the last of her discomfort fading into insignificance under the influence of that sweet little scrunch.

Maybe she didn’t mind being adorable for Kara, after all.

She got into bed, having to edge up close to get any share at all of the blankets Kara had bundled herself up in, though she couldn’t say she minded that either. In other circumstances it might have felt dangerous to be here like this, in bed beside the woman she had been crushing on (and lusting over) practically since they’d met, who she absolutely could not cross that boundary with, but it didn’t. This wasn’t about that. It was about being here for her best friend after something awful had happened, and creating a safe space for her to sleep without fear. To that end they left the bedside lamp on in the hope that being able to see her surroundings would help keep Kara grounded; Lena made sure that water, tissues, and emergency post-panic chocolate supplies were all in easy reach (just in case); and then, after the slightest hesitation, she held out her arms in silent invitation.

She half expected Kara to shy away from the offer, despite the fact that she had spent most of the evening in Lena’s lap with her face burrowed into to the bare skin of her shoulder, but instead she snuggled into the embrace without so much as a flicker of her usual reserve. Apparently her ordeal had left her too wrung out to worry about whatever it was that normally made her hold back, and they slotted together as naturally and comfortably as if they did this every night.

After a few moments of quiet cuddling, Kara whispered into Lena’s neck:

‘Will you tell me something?’

‘Of course darling, what do you want to know?’

‘Just... anything. Tell me about what you’re doing at work at the moment. Something science-y that won’t leave room in my brain for anything else. I just want to hear your voice while I fall asleep.’

‘Alright. Well, I’ve been tinkering a bit with using ternary tetradymite films to optimise electron mobility in some of our spintronic devices this week – I could tell you about that if you like?’

‘Please.’

So Lena talked all about electron mobility and spintronics, going into more detail than she probably should have to explain her as yet unpublished process to create a flawless crystalline structure in the ternary tetradymite films, and then when Kara didn’t ask her to stop, moved on to describe the wearable thermoelectric devices she had started work on using the same technology, which would, with a little more work, efficiently convert waste body heat into electricity to power the wearer’s devices.

She made sure to keep her voice low and soothing as she stroked Kara’s back and let the words carry her away, until at last her breathing became slow and even, and the subtle change in her weight against Lena’s side let her know that she had fallen asleep.

Lena stayed like that for another few minutes, just holding Kara and stroking her back, until she was sure that she was both deeply asleep and not currently in the midst of any upsetting dreams. Then she eased herself up to a sitting position and reached for her phone.

It was almost 2am by this point, but she didn’t think Alex would mind.

Lena: Are you awake?

Alex: Of course I am. Call me.

Lena: I can’t, I’m still at Kara’s

Lena: she’s asleep but I promised I wouldn’t leave her alone in case she has nightmares. So I’m texting you.

Lena: I need to tell you what happened but I can’t Lulu code it so you need to delete these texts once you’ve read them

Alex: ok. Is Kara alright???

Lena: Physically she’s fine. Emotionally though...

Lena: It was BAD Alex.

Lena: I don’t think I’ve ever seen her like that. I have bruises from where she was clinging onto me just to try and ground herself in reality, and even then it was at least half an hour after she came out before she started to look like she really believed this world was the real one

Alex: Fuck

Alex: How is she now?

Lena: She seems calm now. By the time we came to bed she was acting more like herself, just exhausted. She might have some trauma to work through before she’s really ok though

Alex: Thank you for being there for her tonight

Alex: And thank god you suggested one of us should join the dream sessions. I’m not sure if Nia could have coped with that by herself

Lena: Did you speak to her? is she alright? I was so focused on Kara I just sent her home and told her to call you

Alex: Yeah, she called. She feels awful for what happened. I told her it wasn’t her fault and we talked for a bit, but the poor girl is still seriously shaken.

Lena: I’m not surprised, it was pretty intense. I’ll have to check in on her in the morning.

Alex: Speaking of which, are YOU ok?

Lena: I’m fine, mostly just worried about Kara

Alex: Are you sure? You said you have bruises???

Alex: Do you think it was a returning powers doesn’t-know-her-own-strength situation? Because that would at least mean something good came out of it.

Lena: I think it was a regular human strength abject terror disconnect from her surroundings situation.

Lena: Which is lucky because if she had had superstrength at that moment I would currently be in hospital getting titanium rods fitted to replace the bones I would no longer have in my forearms.

Alex: ouch

Alex: so the dream work was a total failure then

Lena: Maybe not entirely. Did Nia tell you what happened while they were in there?

Alex: as much as she could. She said once Kara went into the wall it was like she lost control – she couldn’t sense her anymore, and Kara didn’t seem to be able to hear her when she called. She tried to follow but the dream wouldn’t let her.

Lena: Kara told me what happened after that. And I understand now what the barrier Lex built is made of.

Alex: Wait you do?! Tell me!!!

Lena: it isn’t something artificial we can just remove to let the two sides come back together. If we break the barrier, we’re breaking part of Kara’s mind.

Lena: that’s why the Q-waves gave her a nose bleed, I think

Lena: and it’s why Kara’s own mind is fighting so hard to keep away from it

Alex: WHAT IS IT???

Lena: It’s her fear.

Lena: Lex has taken all Kara’s Kryptonian memories, and walled them off behind every terror that Kara Zor El or Supergirl ever faced. So to get the rest of her memories back she would have to overcome all of them at once

Lena: The phantom zone. The loss of her planet. Every moment of pain from every time she was poisoned with kryptonite. Every time someone she loved died or was in danger, EVERYTHING. All at once.

Alex: That sick bastard.

Alex: Lena, Kara has faced so much fear.

Lena: I know

Alex: If she knew why she needed to she might be able to do it. But how can we ever expect her to go back in there if we can’t tell her why she has to?

Lena: We can’t

Lena: not without finding some way to protect her from it first

Lena: that much agony all in one go could break her mind permanently

Beside her in the bed Kara stirred, a tiny frown creasing her forehead.

Lena: I have to go, but we will work on this more at the next PA meeting.

Lena: Don’t forget to delete

Lena cleared the text chain quickly from her own phone, and then turned to pull Kara back into her arms, stroking her hair and murmuring ‘shhh darling, it’s alright, you’re safe’, until Kara relaxed back into more restful sleep.

She was tired and feeling a little shaky herself after what had happened, whatever she had just told Alex, but Lena didn’t let herself close her eyes. She stayed awake beside Kara as the hours ticked slowly by, watching for any sign of distress and soothing her back out of it whenever she seemed to be edging into nightmares, until at last the pale light of dawn began to filter in through Kara’s thin bedroom curtains, and they had officially made it through the night.

[kuwdora]

heyyyy let me try another blogging entry type of thing. Pretty much each week my brain turns to ooze by Friday from all this jobdyssy and networking and all the burnout still dragging me down. I refuse to let the world and my brain gaslight me and I'm pushing myself so hard and taking rests and being deliberate with my time and effort for getting some contract work and other things - but this job market fucking sucks so much and I'm so frustrated by some of my circumstances and things outside of my control. It's obnoxious. the bullshit people have to go through right now for interviews and shit..it's awful.

It would help if my insomnia wasn't so bad. I'm fairly bedraggled more often than not which makes everything hard. I dream of sleeping more than 5 or 6 hours a night. well I don't actually dream since I don't think I'm getting enough sleep to get to the dream stage but regardless. It would be great to sleep a full night. I miss being able to nap, too but my body just doesn't let me do that anymore either. In other news, I've been rewatching witcher season 3 and Suits season 9 for background noise while I work on some collage and painting projects. I have a list of like 45 other shows that I could watch for the first time but I'm still needing to be in that rewatch zone.

the witcher fixation remains strong...just buried under all of my other wips and things going on in my brain right now. I'm soo looking forward to season 4 for whatever nice things I'll get from it and whatever disappointments I gotta brace myself for when the new season's here. I got a bunch of new comments last weekend on all my yennskier fic which was so lovely and just reminding me of how many more yennskier wips I have. and now i want to work on those. Except I'm neck-deep in other new projects. so I'll see if I can actually finish what I'm working on right now.

I'm going through the motions of working on new things I'm enjoying working on but. But. Also having that fear that no one going to like it even though I've shown a few things to a few people here and there and had received positive feedback on it. It's been awhile since I've been doing this kind of collaging before and it's something I can manage to do really slowly while my brain is melted from my days. It feels great to come full circle to a style and technique I had been doing ages ago but come back to it with my accumulated creative experience behind me. I'm having so much fun. Even though I'm so fucking tiredddddd. But also at some point I want to share. but not yet. oooh, also! wanted to say thank you everyone who signal boosted my ko-fi shop! the sales and tips def helpin' me out. I might add a few more paintings and a terracotta pot if I can track them down. I just have so many random pieces that are just getting lost in the clutter of my apartment.

I have a few more witcher painty-collage ideas I've placed in a pile to work on when I get done with my current things. but as always, too many wips, bwah.

[pbandjesse]

It was another snow day. But it was a fake one because it didn't actually snow again. It was still very cold and pretty though. I was happy that James got to stay home with me. And I wasn't in a much pain. My stretching last night seems to help. So I am trying that again. But thankfully the lower belly pain went away. And baby has been moving at least once or twice and hour. I will still bring up my discomfort when we go to the appointment on Thursday morning but at least I'm not in agony and was able to function much better today.

I slept fine. Not the worst I've had. I slept in a little. And when I woke up I was happy to see James. I wasn't feeling amazing but I am always happy to see them.

I got cleaned up and dressed and went downstairs to have peanut butter and jelly crackers. Which is my current favorite thing to eat. I was trying to be positive but I was also still not feeling amazing.

I was determined to be productive. James was technically working from home so we would go hang in the studio to do our work.

James got to hang out in my new chair. Which was the first time and they said it was understandable why I liked it so much. I would work on the floor cutting squares for my quilt project. I needed 60 squares. I was surprised that some of my cotton fabrics were not large enough! But I got a good amount of colors and patterns and made 30 pairs. And I would spend a good amount of the day sewing those together. I got 20 done by the end of the day. With lots of breaks.

Around 1 I would take some time to rest. We would have a meeting at 2 and I would get some more sewing done before then. James made some beautiful sourdough and gave me a piece to eat while we waited for the meeting.

This was the meeting where the musuem tried to explain why we shouldn't vote yes for the union. A lot of it made me feel a bit annoyed explaining how the museum operates and how we are so flexible. It just felt like they didn't know why they were against us unionizing except that it would cost money. It was just disappointing from a museum that I really believe has talked about workers rights this whole time. It is just weird behavior. Like I really do this we will succeed with the vote but also if we dont I think it'll make them take things slightly more seriously. And stop taking advantage of us allowing them to be so wishy washy with contracts.

The meeting didn't take a ton of time. Not many people asked questions. So we were done by 230. And so me and James discussed how we would use the rest of the day.

I decided I would like taco bell. We wouldn't leave for an hour though. Just chilling on the couch.

We would leave though. And it was nice being outside for a little. We went to the taco bell down the road but we left when we realized you couldn't order there?? It seemed to be mobile delivery only. Weird. So off to the Taco Bell near the target.

James tried the new chicken nuggets. I got tacos. And we shared fries and cinnamon balls. It was nice to be out with James even if it wasn't for long.

We went home and I was hurting a bit again. So I would come upstairs to lay down. I was not having the best time. But I tried.

Eventually I took a shower. And washed my hair. And tried to be alright. James came upstairs to trim their beard. And now we have spent the last few hours watching our show. Which has been really lovely.

James goes back to work tomorrow. And I hope to keep working on sewing. And not be in pain. Fingers crossed for that one.

I hope you all have a good night's sleep. Take care of eachother. Good night!!

[literaticat]

Hi Jenn. After all these years agenting, do you still find it exciting and challenging (in a good way) or do you sometimes have to find new ways to keep it from becoming mundane at times? Hope I'm asking this right. I guess what I mean is, what advice do you have for others in the publishing field - agents, editors, authors - or even any job (!) to keep things fresh and stimulating without becoming dull and repetitive?

I find it exciting and challenging, and very rarely would I characterize it as dull or repetitive or mundane, actually. (Even theoretically "dull" activities like data entry or whatever -- while maybe ANNOYING sometimes -- are still of short enough duration that they aren't really any of those other things!)

There's just always some new project, challenge, puzzle to figure out, and one day rarely looks just like the next. (I guess it might from an outside perspective -- like "okkkkkay, she's sat at her computer for 8 hours... the next day she's sat at her computer for 8 hours..." these seem the same! BUT I PROMISE THEY ARE DIFFERENT!)

So where MY problem comes in is not in boredom or anything like that -- it's more: A) PANIC because no matter how much I do, there's literally always more to do. I can't get to inbox zero, the inbox doesn't have a bottom. I can't finish a to-do list this week, or any week, things are just getting added as fast as I can do them. and B) PROCRASTINATION - like right now is my "day off" but I started to low-key panic about the things I have to do. Like, I have to -- HAVE TO!!! -- do my taxes and clean my house, because my mom is coming in a couple of days and the house is a wreck AND I know while she's here I won't have time to do my taxes and whatever whatever -- so instead I'm SCREWING AROUND ON TUMBLR. -- so B is both a result of, and cause of, A. That's my struggle. (And if anyone has advice, hmu.)

I guess my advice if you DO have a repetitive job is, try and break it up into smaller bits, and do other things in between? Like, I can't give notes on multiple books in a row, or read multiple contracts in a row -- I can do ONE, and then I have to do something entirely different, using a different part of my brain. Like I can edit a book, then update social media -- then I can do a contract, but then go outside and just read a published book -- then I can look at queries, etc. But if I tried just editing a book or reading contracts or looking at queries all day long, I'd die.

So if you are a writer, maybe you have dedicated time that you know you can be head down, butt in chair, just writing your face off -- a time when you are by yourself and don't have to worry about feeding any children or animals or anything like that. Focus on that for that dedicated stretch of time -- no looking at email or the news. Then take a break that is totally different -- walk the dog! Make an omelette! Call your mom! -- then, go back to work, but this time, you are editing something you wrote last week. Then, give yourself a treat, have a cup of tea, look at social media. Then, go back to work, but this time you are doing admin -- updating your website, or getting shit together for an event next week, or whatever.

ALSO, I got this piece of advice from a productivity expert (paraphrasing, and also, advice that I should actually take myself but I just remembered about it right now!) Basically, rather than having a lengthy to-do list that feels daunting -- your daily to-do list should be THREE ITEMS. Pick three. ONLY. THREE.

Then when you do those three things, you're done for the day -- you can give yourself a gold star and stop -- OR, you can try for another three.

I do find that when I actually focus -- like, OK, I have ONE HOUR to do this task and only this task, head down, timer on -- or OK, I am going to sit here and do THREE AGENDA ITEMS -- then I actually do them. Whereas if I have a nebulous long list, it's much harder to do!

OK NOW I AM GONNA GO DO MY TAXES BYE.

[aeionastrologyandtarot]

 Devil in The Details: Mercury Retrograde in Virgo

Devil in The Details: Mercury Retrograde in Virgo This retrograde found me sitting in front of a medical center waiting for a deliver service to pick me up, in a malfunctioning wheelchair. I spent hours calling a call center to connect me with a driver who would pick me up. While I tend avoid personal matters in my forcast, wanting you to view the transit from your own personal lens, my recent surgery urges me to share my perspective with regard to the nature of all transits and this one in particular. We understand the planets through our own experiences and observations. The astrologer can only provide the framework what you may encounter. Retrogrades are times of personal reflection and review, where we evaulate our lives from the now clinical way and from the position of a human being who past decisions and effort demand reappraise and context. Mercury Retrograde will begin on Thursday, August 23th. It will remain in the sign of Virgo for the whole of the transitt. It ends on Friday September 15 at EDT, and 1:21 pm PDT..

Virgo is a sign that are governed or under the direct influence of the planet, Mercury. Virgo (Earth) represents thought applied with pragmatic, practical approach to the physical world. Stickler for rules, Virgo is able break things down to their components, determining how they work and what ways will make them work better. Virgo, as a sign, can be practical, hardworking, supportive and observant. They can also be hypercritical, demanding, insincere and preoccupied.

Mercury Retrogrades is a time of reflection and review, where one is encouraged to reexamine important past issues. During the transit, your daily routines may be shaken up; you may encounter mental challenges, or be required to make some alternate plans regarding some daily matters. Expect to be distracted and made to improvise a great deal into the coming weeks. You may find unpredictability and randomness to be the order of the day.

This transit will ask that you re-examine and re-evaluate some important questions of your life. Determine where you’ve allowed rote, mechanical thinking to supplant your intuition or sense of spontaneity. You may possibly revisit a past experience in service to fostering an exciting new one. Remember, Retrogrades are not the time to initiate new endeavors, but review past ones. The information you uncover from revisiting issues from the past will serve you in good stead in weeks following the end of the transit on September 15th.

Mercury retrogrades are notorious for their affect upon devices of planning and communication. Telephones, computers, written message and contracts may experience problems during its passage. Try not to initiate new projects or make commitment wherever possible at this time. Keep your focus upon existing concerns instead. In light of this transit it might be in your best interest to get a second opinion or an outside observer to help review your work. Reach out to those you trust and support your research with another set of eyes.

Virgos, This retrograde is not about what you need to do, but about what have you not yet done. It will ask you to look back upon previous efforts, determining if they can help you in the future. Rediscoveries you’ll make in the coming weeks may feed and renew concerns you are truly passionate about.

Pisces, at this time, expect important breakthroughs to occur, especially with regards to your personal plans. Rather than choosing a specific course, allow yourself to explore a variety of possibilities. Once the retrograde ends you’ll possess a wide array of knowledge that will help you make best the possible choice in service to your plans. Let your internal cues provide the answer you will need.

Gemini and Sagittarius, This retrograde may ask you to revisit some past matter and to determine its importance to your future. You may have to confront a dilemma that cannot be easily overlooked or ignored. Unraveling the knot that Mercury presents you with may prove highly productive, even cathartic.

In the next few weeks get in touch with your humanity, both acknowledging your frailties and allowing for a new perspectives. Spend time in spiritual practices and creative endeavors during this period. Any creative projects should prove helpful and instructive at this time. You should dwell upon things that predate the retrograde and be mindful of starting any new works during this period.

Mercury Retrograde in Virgo may provide solutions to questions that honor the life you want to live. Listen to your inner truth and this transit may set you upon a course to an existence that is productive, bright and vigorous.

Aeion is a professional astrologer and tarot card reader with 20 years of experience. His approach is based in the belief that divination should be in employed to enhance ones' life experiences, not to predetermine them. Let Astrology and Tarot be your tools for better living.

[buildela5]

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Final Thoughts

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[milfygerard]

I'm a little lost lol. "how low quality reprises work has been compared to MCRs" what has MCR done outside of Reprise? do you mean promo videos etc? When were they clearly planning on Swarm tour extensions? I'm not disagreeing w you! tbh the idea they'd release work to meet contract reqs is interesting, but why do you think it's specifically Reprise and not Warner's press division/marketing?

no that makes sense if u havent been keeping a pretty close eye. I mean less literally working separately and more like. Gerard was obviously the artistic director for swarm, both tour and merch design, as well as leading the TBP long live tour project creatively. During the swarm tour, the shows were very aware of the fans and their interests, from the merch to the setlist. There was an overarching and cohesive concept. This is also with the long live tour, if not moreso with how specific and precise the visuals and story details have been so far. We get at least slightly more clear information on the what when and how of whatever is announced and usually dont get the like 8 hour pre release accidental announcement via a spotify upload made visible too early like we did with revenge remaster.

Its just wild that whenever the band are even a little out of the loop on a minor announcement like this, or like the vinyl repressing of may death never stop you where they had to repost the instagram announcement like 4 times because they kept fucking up the formatting and couldnt correctly add the link to the bio, or the time that people were freaking out over tickets getting scalper and in the middle of that the instagram posted about the tickets selling out and left comments on so that everyone could get pissed and yell at them. Its the kind of basic, basic promotional moves that no band being supported by a major label should be dealing with from their team. Its extremely limited and low effort work that leads to active pr disasters like mcr becoming the fact of disastrous ticket sales and their team having essentially no response or plan for it. This remaster shouldve been an easy slam dunk, its their biggest album only next to black parade, falling perfectly in the nostalgia window and coming out right before a major tour. A clean and clear release plan and some simple promo shouldnt be a struggle for the team to pull off, but we got a surprise drop that felt almost unintentional and a late instagram post actually explaining what it was and the plans for its physical release with the band itself getting pretty much no promo material to post themselves and no clear answer on whether the album will be available at any point soon on all streaming services or if its exclusive to a small handful (i believe its currently on tidal and apple music). Other people probably remember more moments where the team fucked up and wasnt able to promote or respond to/manage a situation that shouldve been easily manageable but this is what immediately comes to mind bc the issue isnt exclusive to minor releases, just worse because the band isnt there to essentially co manage and quality control the release.

[alightstillwat]

Make Life Simple

Sharing a place with roommates is great, but splitting bills? Not so much. That’s why per-person contracts make life easier—you’re only responsible for your portion, no worrying about someone else’s rent. At Alight Stillwater, that’s just one of the ways they make student living better. With electronic locks and individually locking bedrooms, you get privacy and security at the same time. The monitored fire alarms and sprinkler system add even more peace of mind. Need a roommate? No problem—there’s a matching service to help you find a good fit. If you’re looking for student apartment options in Stillwater OK, this setup makes life simple. You focus on school, they handle the details.

The Transportation System in Stillwater, Oklahoma

Getting around Stillwater is pretty simple. Traffic isn’t much of an issue, and you can usually get anywhere in town within 15 minutes. Most people rely on their cars, but parking is easy to find, even near campus. If you don’t drive, the OSU transit system, “The BUS,” offers free rides around town, which is a huge plus for students and residents alike. Biking is doable, though some areas could use better bike lanes. If you need to travel outside the city, major highways connect you to Oklahoma City and Tulsa in about an hour and a half. There’s no big airport here, just a small regional one, so flying usually means driving to OKC. Still, day-to-day transportation is hassle-free, making life in Stillwater pretty convenient.

Boomer Lake Park in Stillwater, OK

If you need a break from the daily grind, Boomer Lake Park is the perfect spot. It’s a go-to place for jogging, biking, or just taking a walk by the water. The paved trail circles the lake, giving you a great view while you exercise. Ducks and geese are always around, and you might even spot people fishing off the docks. On a nice day, you’ll see families having picnics, kids playing at the playground, and kayakers out on the water. The park also has workout stations along the path, so you can mix up your routine. If you’re into disc golf, there’s a course that’s popular with locals. Sunsets over the lake are pretty amazing, and it’s a peaceful way to end the day. It’s a simple, relaxing place that feels like a little escape from town.

More Details Emerge Around Proposed Data Center Campus In Stillwater, Oklahoma

A massive data center campus in Stillwater could be a game-changer, but there are still a lot of questions. A potential $3 billion investment sounds great for the local economy, bringing jobs and tax revenue, but who really benefits? The fact that the company behind it remains unnamed raises some concerns. Transparency matters, especially with a project of this scale. Data centers also use a ton of electricity and water, which could put a strain on local resources. The city seems eager to move forward, but residents should ask about long-term impacts—on infrastructure, energy costs, and even the environment. If done right, this could be a huge win for Stillwater. But without clear communication and proper planning, it could end up being more of a burden than a boost.

Link to map

Boomer Lake Park 2310 E Lakeview Rd, Stillwater, OK 74075, United States Follow N Husband St to E0600 Rd/E Lakeview Rd 1 min (0.4 mi) Take US-177 S/N 3340 Rd/N Perkins Rd to Hanson St 5 min (1.7 mi) Continue on Hanson St to your destination 1 min (0.2 mi) Alight Stillwater 800 E Hall of Fame Ave, Stillwater, OK 74075, United States

[moxiemaemaple]

Building.

I've been doing a bunch of random things to make money. Trying to get some funds so I can have enough to pay back the money I had loaned as well as…live. It is expensive in this city. I'm constantly feeling like I'm making money to just eat.

I woke up today outside the city, in a small town. I was working at the gopostal delivering packages. I realized they had me working out of that warehouse and cheaping on pay. Here I'm driving hours in and out of the city getting the same pay as someone who makes less a commute working at a warehouse in the city. So I'll be looking for a new gopostal warehouse to work at. I'm not going to keep getting jipped on pay!

In other news though me and Crow did some random contract work. I guess people who need shit down, or materials for whatever post up on this public board. You can take the postings and fill them and make a bit more money doing it. I'll be working on that now when I can! We did some power washing. It was a bit of a whole thing to get started but once I got the hang out of it I quite liked spraying gunk off of shit. Very satisfying.

It was a bit out of the blue but after that Crow wanted to get a tattoo. We stopped at a shop and while he was getting some work done he had another thing to share with me. Wasn't another teddy bear or other gift like that, honestly was something far more meaningful.

He showed me his face. I leave people and their masks alone. I never question it. I wear a mask of my own after all. He told me his real name, explaining why sometimes things were listed strange on paperwork and such in the past I had seen. I was a bit speechless. I don't know how to communicate emotions very well…I realize I just get too nervous to speak sometimes.

I feel honored he wanted to share his truth with me. Makes me feel rot knowing I hide my own identity. I can't take it off…not that easy. Maybe it is but the fear stops me.

Later we went to his place and I realized what a man cave it was. Guy has a whole house and left it empty! Except a bed and some tables they had a bunch of tools and shit all over. I decided to put my skills to use and build…I know…I know what I'm thinking. I already built a whole house before for someone…and- lets not think about it.

I know I shouldn't build for others. I can't help it…what is wrong with me? At least when I asked for money for more plaster he didn't question or fuss. I managed to get the floor plan laid out. I'll have to go back and have the builders repaint the walls. A crow like its black and I went with beige mom aesthetic. Easily fixable!

I realized how good I am at…building. I thought about maybe helping others and their own DIY projects by maybe making a video on how I do things. Share my knowledge. Building…always building… am I building again for villains in disguise?

I don't know if I'll ever tell Crow what my name is really. He probably already knows. My 'secretary' takes all my calls on the yellow pages…and also is the name that logs into the labor app when I'm clocking into work. Feel kinda stupid. Guilty? A struggle.

Some wear literal masks, some wear wigs and make up.

He blacked out his arms. I wonder what tattoos he hid under them… I thought about having more done for myself, trying to cover the ones I have a bit. The one on my leg already exposed me to someone in the past before. A tribalish tat I got done at a festival while high off my rocker. I decided at the time it was a awesome to try and get a stick an poke tattoo. So there I am for hours with some girl poking me by hand over and over. Eventually the high started coming down and we had to finish with a ink gun. The pain was bad. My leg looked like hot garbage for so long till the healing phase passed. Now it is just like a birthmark, recognizing feature forever on my left calf. Someone awful of my past found me just by seeing it. Insane I know, but its true. There is that paranoia. Fear of nothing known. I can't even have my tattoos out without feeling exposed.

I'll tell my friends the truth one day. Though I rather continue to be Trixie. If someone calls me Maple again I'll die inside.