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totaldramafan-lauri · 4 years ago

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Eurovision 2021 Opinions, Predictions, and Rankings

DONE.

I really cut it close this time, but I got a couple days to relax until the contest! >.<

God, I missed Eurovision so much that I think I rambled a bit too hard....XD So, if you don’t have the patience to read all of this, I don’t blame you! I mainly just make these for fun, heh....But if you do read this, PLEASE be warned that I have some very unpopular opinions this year. It’s not as bad as some other years, but there’s a few things in here that will probably confuse people. I’m not trying to piss anyone off, I’m just sharing what I think of the songs and that’s all. I can’t even vote, so.....yeah!

Also, uh....be warned for excessive gushing, because I like the VAST majority of songs this year. There are only two that I’m indifferent to, and none that I outright dislike. And even the two songs I’m indifferent to, I managed to say some good things about, so I don’t outright bash any of the songs! I’m not a critic, I’m just a big Eurovision fan being happy talking about Eurovision.

Ummmm, anything else, hmmmm.....well, the rehearsals have been done, but I don’t watch those cuz I like going in blind. I like being surprised. So, I have no idea how any of the songs will be staged, keep that in mind.

Now, I think I said everything! Into the rambling!

(In alphabetical order by country)

Song: Karma Country: Albania Thoughts: We start our list off with a song that...I wish I liked more! This song is pretty good - I like the music (though the instrumental breaks are pretty busy, with a lot of noise at once) and the vocals are excellent, but...it's a pretty standard Albanian entry in that it lacks that extra wow factor for me. In fact, when I say "standard", I mean that when I haven't heard it in a few days and I try to get in into my head, I'll sometimes confuse it with "Ktheju tokës" (their 2019 entry). And I know that isn't fair to it, but the fact that I can't make it stick in my mind really says a lot to how little of an impact it made on me in the long run. "Ktheju tokës" WAS good, and this song is good, but man do Albania really have trouble standing out in this contest (with the one HUGE exception, of course <3) Prediction: I don't think this will qualify for the final, but I wouldn't be surprised if I was proven wrong. Albania have surprised me multiple times in recent years. I kinda don't wanna be surprised this time, since it could be at the cost of a song I like more (and yeah, it probably will be), but I still wouldn't rule it out. This song does have a chance. But for now, I'll say no, it won't qualify.

Song: Technicolour Country: Australia Thoughts: Time to take off your clothes- wait, that's not it? It's "cloaks"? OK then, if you say so...Not only is this a very cool and unique song, but it's also pretty catchy! It's kinda hard to put into words how I feel about this song. When I first heard it, I liked it OK but I also feared that it would grate on me after a bit, but thankfully, it didn't! In fact, this song grew on me, just the opposite of what I thought. I enjoy this song quite a bit now! The singer's voice is really good. She has impressive range. And there's nothing else this year that sounds like this. So, while I don't love it, I definitely like and respect it! It's an impressive entry from Australia, and I'm sad that they have to preform remotely. I hope that doesn't hurt them too much... Prediction: Oh, I wanna say they'll qualify so bad, cuz they deserve to! And even when their entries don't get love from the televote, they still get carried to the final by the juries, so....I think they might! C'mon, it's a good song and it deserves to do well! I don't even love it that much and I can still see the talent and appeal of this song, so yeah, I'm gonna say it'll qualify! The betters are underselling this! Might not do that well in the final, but eh, at least it'll be there.

Song: Amen Country: Austria Thoughts: And here we come to one of the weirder things this year: like 2015, there are two songs with the same name, leading to some confusion. I'll get to Slovenia's "Amen" way later, but for now all I'll say is that that's the one I think about more BY FAR. To the point where poor Austria here gets completely overshadowed by it. XD And that's really unfortunate, because this song is pretty good! It's very emotional, even moreso when you read that it's based on the deaths of the singer's daughter and aunt. It definitely hit me harder after I realized that it wasn't just a breakup song...and actually about death...The lyrics are also very good, especially the repeating of "Tell me, is this what you wanted?" which is a line that kinda hit me even on first listen? It just sounds so...sad, yet angry, especially with how he sings it...Though I will say that the opening lyric simply being "Amen, I guess" could be easily made fun of...but I'm not gonna do it. Not to this song. Even though it's far from one of my favorites, (and in terms of sad family songs doesn't come close to "You Let Me Walk Alone" levels), it's a good song. Prediction: I don't think Austria really have that much of a chance....but that doesn't mean they're doomed. They could touch hearts with this song, or they could be overlooked, could go either way. I personally think, um.....they won't qualify. Just cuz of the competition.

Song: Mata Hari Country: Azerbaijan Thoughts: Should I be annoyed at how blatantly Azerbaijan recycled their 2020 song? XD Well, I'm not! If anything, I find it funny that they included the line "Just like Cleopatra", which I took as full-on self awareness.....And I also don't mind because the song is awesome, so yeah. I can't help it, I'm a sucker for this stuff! I don't care how many times the song's name is yelled, it still sounds soooooo good! The instrumentals are amazing! The one before the end is easily the best part of the song. Y'know, where she just says "Let's go" and then the beat goes crazy? Perfect. This is a very solid borderline favorite for me. My only real gripe is that...uh, it's "goddess", not "godless"...I can clearly hear her pronounce an L and it bugs me. XD Prediction: In true Azerbaijan fashion, I think this'll be an easy qualifier. It's not a front-runner, but it's a very memorable song and there isn't really anything else like it in the first semifinal (maybe Israel if you squint? But that's a stretch) In the final, hmmmm....maybe it'll place in the middle somewhere? I don't think it'll do as good as "Truth" at least. That's my prediction.

Song: The Wrong Place Country: Belgium Thoughts: Not only is this a grower, but it's also the biggest grower of the bunch for me. Every year, there's that one song that I start out mostly indifferent to, that I do NOT expect to like as much as I end up liking it. The "O Jardim", the "Roi". This year, it's this one. It took me a few listens, but now I really like this song. I can't even explain why, it's just....cool! I like the dark, somber atmosphere of this song, and how it doesn't cross over into overly moody. It's just cool. And I like the lyrics, too. They flow really well, and I like how much detail there is. The whole thing just works so well....well, except for the line about the Johnny Cash t-shirt. That's just baffling. And that's the lyric they end the song with...but other than that, it's a great song that tells a story, with the atmosphere to match, and I really like it. Prediction: The only reason I'm not saying this is an easy qualifier is that the first semifinal is gonna be a bloodbath. XD I just went down the list, counting all the fan-favorites that would normally be shoo-ins, and I counted ELEVEN songs. There's GONNA be outrage that day, I just know it. Personally, I think Belgium could still do it, but it'll be really tough. I want them in the final, but my opinion doesn't matter here. Them making it will probably take a lot of effort, honestly, and...it could go either way. If I had to give an answer to what I think will happen, I'd say that they'll barely not qualify. But I'd be more than happy to be proven wrong! (As long as that doesn't mean losing Croatia in the process)

Song: Growing Up Is Getting Old Country: Bulgaria Thoughts: This one's....difficult. Not the MOST difficult song to rank (that's Cyprus), but man, it took me a while to figure out what I felt about it. In the end, I've decided that I...kinda like it. I'm putting it right at the bottom of the "like" category. Now, I know that a lot of people love this song, so just let me explain: I don't normally enjoy this kind of vocal. I didn't care for "Sebi" two years ago cuz it bored me, for example. This song at least builds a little bit, but it's not that exciting. Musically, this song doesn't do much for me, and that's why I'm ranking it so low. BUT....I love the lyrics. This is such a relatable song. Growing up does indeed get very, very, VERY old, and I worry about it all the flipping time. I do wish I could run from those worries. I like the reference to anxiety. I like lines like "Playing Tetris with my feelings, tryin' to keep them all inside". I like the switch to “Getting up is growing old”. It's really clever. Not to mention, her lethargic vocals actually FIT this subject. She's tired. So, I do appreciate this song for, well....speaking to me, even if I don't love it like so many others do. Prediction: Will definitely qualify without much issue. I can also see it doing pretty well in the final, like....Bulgaria have been in the top five twice in recent years, so this could possibly put them back up there? I personally don't think this song should be that high, but hey, this isn't about my feelings, this is my prediction. Uhhhh.....top ten.

Song: Tick-Tock Country: Croatia Thoughts: The first of my top seven favorites! Ohhhhh MAN did this song blindside me! When I first heard it, I remember the chorus letting me down! It was mostly due to not being what I expected from the pre-chorus, I guess I expected the music to burst with emotion or at least be louder.....but after only two or three listens, it grew on me completely, and I found myself trying to learn the lyrics and sing along. This is NOT another "Icebreaker", that’s for sure. I love the whole thing as it is and I wouldn't change a thing about it. This song is so! Darn! CATCHY! That chorus is incredibly infectious! Man, that beat is so flipping good! And when it switches to Croatian for a chorus, mmmmm good stuff! As someone who actually really enjoyed "Crazy", I still say this is Croatia's most solid entry since.....geez, 2010? Hope this one is more, um, successful than that one ended up being... Prediction: Oh no, oh no, oh noooooooo~....I really hope this doesn't end up underrated like Croatia's entries tend to be, but something tells me that I shouldn't be....TOO worried? ....OK, I'm still worried. XD The first semifinal is LOADED with awesome songs, so unless the staging for this is really really cool, it MIGHT struggle to stand out? Keyword being "might", cuz this is still a very good song....Maybe just being a good song will be enough! Of my two favorites in that semifinal, I'm more worried about Slovenia than Croatia, honestly. At least Croatia have an upbeat song. I'll try to be optimistic, and predict that it'll qualify. A lot of people seem to like it, so why not? However, if it doesn't qualify, I won't be too shocked....There's a lot of fan-favorites it's gonna have to compete with to get through. XD If it does make it, then I can't see it doing THAT badly in the final...

Song: El Diablo Country: Cyprus Thoughts: Hoo boy, here we go....So, this is easily the hardest song for me to rank. I'm sure that after I post this, I'll already be second-guessing my placement for it. But for now, here it goes......I love the chorus to this song just so much! It's SUCH a good thing to belt to, and I wish I could. I even love the "OooooooOOOOOOOOHHH~" after it! She has a GOOD singing voice! ...Too bad she barely uses it. Yeeaaaahhh, I'm...not very crazy about the rest of the song. The speak-singing verses, I got used to after a while, but they're still just ehhh. And the pre-chorus where she's just panting in the back with no other music? The bridge, where there's that stupid "I love El Diablo" chant that sounds like a playground taunt? Annoying. It feels like she's trying WAY too hard to be Lady Gaga, complete with throwing in words to another language for no reason other than to sound ~spicy~. As a fan of Lady Gaga, I'm sorry, but you're not doing a very good job! As I've said before, it's hard to come up with a concrete answer for how I feel about this song, because it has stuff I like AND stuff I don't like! And not only that...it's a BIG divide between the two. I don't just like the chorus, I LOVE the chorus. It's a SHORT chorus, but I love it! There are times I enjoy the song despite my complaints with it....but there are other days where I don't have enough patience to deal with stupid panting and "I lOvE eL dIaBlO", so really, I'm super torn here. I know this song's very popular, and I can see the appeal, I just wish I liked it more (especially since I've really liked the last few entries from Cyprus). Prediction: This song's currently in the top ten in the betting odds, so I think it might do a lot better than I expect. I personally don't think it's a top ten song, but it'll at least qualify for the final. And maybe do pretty well. Left side of the scoreboard, maybe? Cyprus are NOT an underrated country anymore, and the song's got a lot of energy, and it's definitely memorable, I'll give it that.

Song: omaga Country: Czech Republic Thoughts: Another song that has me conflicted, but not nearly as much as Cyprus'. My opinion on this one is a lot more simple: love the music, kinda iffy about the lyrics. This feels like it's sung by the kinda person that Destiny from Malta warns the ladies to stay away from. "You say you're still mad about the things that I did, but I don't know what I did". "Why don't you come over and have it? Why don't you let me have it?" I'm not the only one who thinks he's being really pushy, am I? I do think this song's just meant to be playful, but, uh....it doesn't come off that way to me. I mean, I guess I like the rhyming of "apocalypse" with "on my lips", that's pretty clever and I've never heard it before? But...overall, the lyrics honestly kinda creep me out. It reminds me of someone who just will not take no for an answer even when it's obvious that his presence isn't wanted because he thinks that she's just "playing hard to get". And she's not playing hard to get! He outright says that he did something to piss her off! Dude, leave her alone! Even if you're playing dumb saying you "don't know" what you did, that's not a reason to keep pestering her! ....But, *sigh* I can't be too mad at the song. When you get down to it, the most important thing in a song (especially in Eurovision) is the music, not the lyrics, and...this song sounds fantastic. It's really catchy, with a nice fun party vibe. I do enjoy listening to this when I don't think about it too hard. It's probably the most fun I've had listening to a Czech entry, so I still like it for that. This isn't a song worth being mad over. (Except the title. That title is so flipping stupid. Just say "oh my god", it's not hard. But that's a nitpick, pffff) Prediction: I kinda don't want this song to qualify since there are others in the second semifinal that I'd prefer to make it instead. Despite liking it, this is still one of my more least-favorites in that semi. XD But I still say this has a fair shot of qualifying, despite being performed early. But with the competition in the party song department by Serbia, Moldova, and San Marino, and their fairly low amount of fan attention, I'm gonna say no for this one. But I won't hate it if it qualified (as long as it doesn't push out Greece or Finland, which I don't think it will).

Song: Øve Os På Hinanden Country: Denmark Thoughts: Heck YEAH to Denmark sending a song in Danish! It's great to hear uncommon languages in Eurovision from countries that normally send songs in English! And dare I say that that's not my favorite thing about this song? Because this is another of my favorites! This song's been getting a flack for being "dated", and....yeah, maybe it is, but so what? I never claimed to have perfect taste, and I LOVE this kinda thing! 80s music is back, I say! Gosh, this song is so HAPPY! Well, uh, I can't even understand it, but it feels happy. And the instrumentation is so flipping good! The horns, the strings, UGH! I can't not smile while listening to this. If you don't like this song, that's fine, it's not for everyone...but I really appreciate Denmark for trying something different this year, especially since it turned into something that's completely to my tastes. Prediction: Yeah, uh...the odds don't look good for Denmark. Performing last, after so many people have made up their minds? With a song that's already not popular at all? Yeah....if they DO manage to qualify, I'll be VERY happy, but I don't think it's gonna happen...Man, most of my favorites are in danger this year...Eh, I'm used to it. But I'll say that they COULD possibly do it, due to nothing else sounding like them!

Song: The Lucky One Country: Estonia Thoughts: Oh look, another one of my favorites! Wow, what an emotional gut-punch this song is....these lyrics are seriously SO good. "Why'd you have to go and mess it up? Why'd you have to make what was unbreakable / Shakeable, unsaveable" "For a little while, the fates were with us / Wonder why they had to turn against us? / I could make a wish, but there is no use" "Thought I had a cloud over my head / It had to be my fault that it kept raining down, until, now, I figured out / That if I had the nerve to say goodbye, I could look for clearer skies up overhead" I....think that's enough, but holy crap, this song's mix of heartbreak and optimism is just PERFECT. "You broke my heart, but maybe that's a good thing, maybe I'm the lucky one because you're awful and I don't have to put up with it anymore." It's emotional, it's bittersweet, it's powerful...and it SOUNDS powerful too! Those quiet verses bursting into that chorus is great! This song is so flipping good! Why is it so underrated!? ...Oh yeah, cuz people who want emotion are to distracted by Switzerland's entry, I guess...or maybe it's just me, but eh. While I don't love it quite as much as my top three, this is a very solid fourth placer for me. Prediction: This song isn't qualifying, and I've accepted it. It's gotten very little attention (the music video is one of the ones under 1 million views), it was dead last in the betting odds last time I checked, and to top it off, it's being performed second in its semifinal, which won't do it any favors. I really do wish it could surprise me, but I don't think it will. I'm not getting my hopes up.

Song: Dark Side Country: Finland Thoughts: OH HECK YEEEEEEEAAAAAAHHHHH! Finland once again appealing to my tastes! OH MY GOD do I love this song! People have been heaping praise on this song left and right, so I can't say anything that hasn't already been said....but I'll praise it anyway! This song is so flipping intense! It manages to be dark while pumping me up for action, and being the best song at doing that this year. There's not much to say about the lyrics because I BARELY pay attention to them while listening (which is pretty much the only reason this isn't my number one), my brain just turns off all analytical thinking in favor of "HOO HOO HOO HOO EVERY PSYCHO IN THE SCENE HANDS UP AND FOLLOW ME" without caring about the actual words. I just love the music and vibe so much that it pulls me in so well! It goes so hard! That great hook that starts the song off also gives the song something catchy about it, too! Also points for including the line "We don't wanna grow up", that's great too. This is a song that you put on just to pump yourself up and feel awesome. The lyrics are pretty messed up, which makes me not wanna sing them out loud, but that barely counts as a point against it. It fits with the song's tone, and just....man, I remember how blindsided I was when I first heard it. That was my first clue that this would be something special. I'm also really happy that this song is getting attention because boy is that not true for a lot of my other favorites. XD Prediction: Despite Finland being one of the most underrated countries in the contest's history, with consistently poor results despite sending good song after good song...This one got popular, and most of the attention has been positive, to the point of it being just outside the top ten in the betting odds last I checked! So, I'm gonna be cautiously optimistic here and predict that they'll qualify without much issue. They're one out of only two of my favorites (the other being Greece) that I feel like I don't have to worry about. The song does a good job of standing out, which should help it a lot. As for how it'd do in the final...well, I want it to be in the top 10, but after whatever the frick happened with "Monsters" I'm convinced that Finland HAVE to end up underrated in some way...The only thing I can really say is that it'll probably give them their best result in years (since coming 11th that one time in 2014)? But that's all I can really say.

Song: Voilà Country: France Thoughts: If I can sum up my feelings about this one in one sentence it'd be....this is the new "City Lights" for me. Y'know, the Belgian entry in 2017? Got wildly popular, but I never fully understand why? Just found it kinda boring, and was indifferent to it? Yeah, copy and paste that here. In a year occupied by some really fun, happy pop songs, some really powerful ballads, and even a couple hardcore rock songs...a song like this is one of the favorites to win. And I'm sorry, but I don't...get it? Am I stupid? (Well, you'll probably think I'm stupid once we get to my number one but-) Why are people going nuts over this? This is one of the more boring songs of the year if you ask me! But that's being too harsh, cuz I CAN see that there's talent here. The vocals are nice, and I do give it points for growing on me at least a little. At the start, this was my least-favorite, but it's not anymore. I at least appreciate it for building at lot. I almost feel myself come close to liking it toward the end, when it's at its fastest. But that still isn't enough for me to see it as the potential winner that so many people see it as. If you like it, that's great! But even though I see the talent here, I can't jump on the bandwagon. I don't dislike it in the slightest, though. I will say that I'll take another "City Lights" over another "Amar Pelos Dois" any day of the week. At least if this song wins, I can say that it won't taint my view of the whole year. I'll just be like "cool, good for them". Prediction: I'd much rather Malta or Switzerland win over this, but I still can't rule out the possibility, which just how many people love this song and are rallying behind it. I can see the juries drooling over it too. If this does win, I'll see it coming, that's for sure. The possibility over a big five country that's not Italy doing so well feels weird, I'll admit...They're usually so underrated cuz they don't have to go through a semifinal. XD But back to my prediction, ummm....it's gonna do really well, I can't deny that. But since I consider myself Team Malta (or Italy) here, I'm gonna go with my gut and say that it won't win. Top five, though.

Song: You Country: Georgia Thoughts: Meh.....this one's probably my least-favorite, but not by a LOT. In fact, I far from outright dislike it. There are times when I find it kinda relaxing to listen to. Between this and my least-favorite in 2019, I think this one's less boring, which is a good point in this year's favor! It's more like...something's gotta be in last place, and this song's still pretty boring by comparison to everything else. But it's still a simple love song that has some nice lyrics, it's not annoying, and there's nothing wrong with it...well, there's nothing wrong with the SONG, that is... Prediction: Not qualifying. Yeah, this is an easy one. XD Now, um, I haven't SEEN this, but multiple people have claimed that the singer has said some really sketch stuff, which resulted in this already forgettable song....pretty much being a guaranteed flop. Granted, the video doesn't have quite as many dislikes as others (like.....P-Poland's....I'll get to that later), but it's still got a lot. If Georgia do qualify, I can easily see people getting upset. But I don't think it's gonna happen.

Song: I Don't Feel Hate Country: Germany Thoughts: OK, so....this song. This flipping song. By all counts, I should find it annoying. I really should. It's a song that reeks of passive-aggressive, better-than-you energy and I normally hate that! No, stop acting like you're sorry for me, you condescending prick! ...But dang it, I can't be mad at this song. I just can't. It just wouldn't be Eurovision without the resident goofy joke song, and this one fits the bill. Taking this thing seriously would make me look stupid. Not only that, but...I dunno if this is just me being very easily amused, but I just find this song funny? Like, actually funny? It's made me laugh multiple times! The lines that did so being the backing vocals going "SAY WHAT? He did not just say that!" followed by "Yes I did, and I feel sorry! I don't feel hate, that's the whole point of the song!" And even the stupid thing toward the end where it goes "So you can wigglewigglewigglewiggleWIGGLEWIGGLEWIGGLE-" It just puts a big dumb smile on my face, I can't help it! And the attitude of the singer goes down a lot easier when I think of him singing this to actual hateful people who lash out with bigoted comments, so that's helped it for me. If you don't like this song, I completely understand why. It's not for everyone! But it gets a thumbs-up from me (and not a middle finger) Prediction: I...don't know how this song's gonna go over with people? Will it annoy, or will it amuse? Will it be the next "Hatrið mun sigra" or the next "Moustache"? According to the betting odds, and the fact that it's Germany, I'm leaning more towards the latter. I don't see this doing particularly well. I can see the televoters liking it more than the juries at least, but it's still gonna be towards the bottom. I do think they'll do better than last or close to last, though. This song does have a lot of personality, that's for sure!

Song: Last Dance Country: Greece Thoughts: This song is breathtaking.....as in, whenever it comes on, it makes me stim so hard that I'm literally out of breath when it ends! And that's a really....really really good thing! Dear GOD this song is so awesome! Easily a top three choice for me. I already talked about why I love it before, and everything I said then is still true. I'm ever-so-slightly biased because I love songs that make me think of scenarios, and visualize them...especially when it's of, uh....w-well, uh....ideas of the comfort ship variety....And this song makes me think of dancing with my F/O (fictional other), feeling on top of the world, but also terrified of the moment ending, as she has to leave soon, so I hold on to her, not wanting to let go, wanting to savor this feeling until the dream is over....Uh, s-sorry for getting all poetic and stuff, but....I LOVE this song even beyond that bias! Listening to it is more of a rush than the song literally named "Adrenalina". The chorus BLASTS you with so much raw energy, it really DOES make you feel like you're dancing for your life until your lungs give out! You can feel the happiness, and the desperation, just so much...Truly, "Last Dance" is the PERFECT title. The verses aren't quite as strong as the chorus, which is the ONLY reason this song isn't my number one, but that dang chorus is enough for me to fall head-over-heels in love with it anyway. EASILY the best Greek entry for many many years. They've really, truly outdone themselves. Prediction: This has gotta qualify! Even if it doesn't get the awesome staging it deserves, it's still gotta qualify! This is one of the most popular songs in the second semifinal! Well, according to the betting odds anyway.....but c'mon! My energy SHOULD go into worrying about Poland and Estonia, so let me be right about this....let Greece be a shoo-in like I'm sure they are! I dare say that this could even finish on the left side of the board in the final! Unless some other songs REALLY surprise people live, but....for now, that's my prediction and I'm sticking to it!

Song: 10 Years Country: Iceland Thoughts: I wonder how Iceland feel about being the "projected winners of 2020". XD It's kinda like being an "honorary" winner, and....yeah, this country that's never won before, but has come second twice? They could've done it finally! But it didn't happen. It's like....is it a good thing to know that, or not to? Maybe a bittersweet mix of both....but the good thing that came out of it is that their artist got to come back this year with this song. My first word to describe this song is cute. It's a very adorable idea, being thankful for your spouse of ten years, and writing a song about it....Couple goals, honestly. XD That's enough for me to like it, cuz that's just so wholesome! But this is also a fun disco song, and it definitely stands out among everything else this year. So, thumbs up to Iceland yet again! Only other thing of note for me is that when I first heard it, the line "How does he keep getting better" led me to think this song was about a gay couple, and....it's not. He wrote it for his wife. I just find it kinda funny that I misinterpreted it that way, heh....(and it's not the only song that I misinterpreted, wait till we get to Portugal) Prediction: People love this artist and people love this song. It's gonna qualify. Not a winner (unfortunately for them), but it'll still do very well.

Song: Maps Country: Ireland Thoughts: Yet another grower. This is a really fast-paced song that I imagine would make good running music, and the lyrics are pretty good! I really like the line "My soul is a map, my heart is a compass, I am the road" for some reason...dunno why, but it sticks with me. Also, can't go wrong with strong drums! I just like the mood of this song overall, too. Happy, uplifting....freeing! Gives of the feeling of an explorer setting off to parts unknown, which is something that no other song this year does. Makes it unique! Whenever this comes on, I enjoy it a lot, but I sadly can't rank it any higher. It's still definitely one of Ireland's more solid, fun entries in recent years, up there with "22". I still like "22" a bit more since it was catchier, but this song is no slouch and I wish it got more attention. Prediction: *in the tone of Deerie from Helluva Boss* Yeeeeeaaaaaaahhhhh, no...Sorry, Ireland, but I think you're doomed. I really like this song and I want it to do well! Ireland have had such bad luck in the past, too! But they've got no chance in the first semifinal. A miracle would have to happen for this to qualify. It's really unfortunate...

Song: Set Me Free Country: Israel Thoughts: Pretty catchy! I like the rhyming flow of the verses a lot, even if I still can't fully understand the lyrics (which....I dunno whether to blame on her voice or me not liking the song quite enough to wanna sing along to lyrics that go by so quickly). What I could make out is well-written, though - if Estonia's entry is about the heartbreaking parts of breaking up, this song is about the liberating parts. I'm free, now I can dance! "Set me FREEEEE~!" That part is so good. Sadly, this song isn't an absolute favorite of mine...partly cuz the "Imma, imma, aaaaahhh" parts are a bit repetitive and slightly wear on me, but mostly cuz of competition. It's one out of many upbeat, catchy songs this year, and not the best of them. Prediction: Ehhhh, this can go either way. I wanna say it'll qualify, though. Israel have been on a roll in recent years, and this song is good enough to continue that. I wouldn't call it a front-runner by any means, but it'll at least make it to the final and not bomb.

Song: Zitti E Buoni Country: Italy Thoughts: With very few exceptions, rock songs tend to...not do very well in Eurovision. Even when the songs are very good, fans of the contest just don't gravitate towards rock as much as the poppier stuff, and that's fine! Everyone has different tastes in genres, and rock fans and Eurovision fans might not overlap very much. But dang it if I still don't appreciate them showing up and loving it when they do! And especially loving it when they're as good as THIS! This song is SO good! I might prefer the Finnish entry in terms of intensity, but they're not really that comparable. This still goes REALLY hard, manages to be catchy at the same time, and I love every single turn it takes. That part where he sings really really fast, and especially that awesome bridge, ugh, it's all so good! It's not a favorite of mine PURELY due to loving other songs more, but this is one I like more every single time I hear it, and I've been bumping it higher and higher up through my borderline favorites until finally giving it a solid spot. This song's been getting a lot of attention and that makes me very happy, cuz it deserves it! Italy have topped themselves yet again. Prediction: Despite being a big fan-favorite, I don't think this is a winner....mainly due to, well, being a rock song in Eurovision (I HAVE heard the very rare complaint about it, like, saying the chorus is too loud, and....it's a rock song? That's the point???), but also....it's kinda the Italian curse at this point? XD Every single time Italy have a fan-favorite song, they just barely don't win (I still haven't forgotten how much of a shoo-in they seemed to be in 2017 before....well...people lost their minds). They do however, manage top five finishes, and I think it'll be the same thing here. I would love if it won, since I like it more than the three betters' favorites, but I'm not holding my breath. XD

Song: The Moon Is Rising Country: Latvia Thoughts: MAN this song's awesome! OK, so, you might've noticed that there are a few songs this year that have the same message: "I'm a woman and awesome". There's nothing wrong with that kinda thing at all, especially when said songs are all different in their own way! This one right here stands out RIGHT off the bat with a super powerful voice that cuts through everything and commands your complete attention, and DANG does it work! The lady's voice is outstanding, and the beat's not bad either! It's kinda repetitive with the "Padada-papa-rade" parts, but that's barely a problem when the rest of the song kicks so much butt. You got something to say? Say it to her face, coward! When it comes to the "I'm a woman and awesome" songs, I like Azerbaijan's slightly more. It's more fun. But this is a very solid song that I really enjoy, and I'm happy Latvia sent another song I like this much, with one of the best voices of the year. Prediction: Sadly, for as much praise as they've been getting on YouTube, Latvia aren't getting much love from the betters, so I have no idea how they'll do. It's very split. I wanna say that they have a chance, cuz they've got a VERY strong singer and I can also see some interesting staging to go along with it, but that's just speculation. XD Also, it's Latvia. When do they ever catch a break? So....this really could go either way, and of course I'd like them to qualify, but I'm gonna say they barely won't. Not every good song can be in the final, that's the sad truth of having so many slots.

Song: Discoteque Country: Lithuania Thoughts: Dance song for introverts, let's go! This is a fun, silly song with a good beat, and lyrics that encourage having fun by yourself ("Not like that, pervert!" - Sir Pentious, Hazbin Hotel), and....that's about it! There's not that much to talk about here, cuz with this song, what you hear is what you get. And that's fine, not every song needs to be picked apart and analyzed to explain why it's enjoyable. However, despite how much I love synth music, this song doesn't really hook me as much as other songs do. I understand the appeal, I understand why it's a fan-favorite, but to me, it lacks OOMPH. Musically, it just, kinda....stagnates? With the exception of that weird scatting part. And I think my biggest issue is that the lyrics, well, uh....immediately date it to this year, let's just say. I try to get around this by calling it a dance song for introverts, and that's how I usually think of it at this point, but yeah, it's kinda still an elephant in the room. But I still do like this song, I just don't love it. I'm happy that Lithuania are getting the attention they were denied last year, though. Prediction: Despite opening the show, I think this will be an easy qualifier, one of the songs to beat. I can see this being another top ten finish for Lithuania (maybe it'll finally break "We Are The Winner"'s record from 2006? We'll just wait and see).

Song: Je Me Casse Country: Malta Thoughts: Ohhhhhh MAN do I wish I could rank this one higher. If I wanted, I could bump it up to borderline favorite, but...I already have five of those! XD But dang it, Malta, a country that's never won Eurovision, finally pulls out a fan-favorite song (again, that is *cough*theyshould'vewonin2002*cough*), and I AGREE with that! Like the Italian entry, this is a song that gets better every time I listen to it. It's SO much fun! Not to mention the singer, Destiny - MAN, what a voice! One of the best voices of the year, I'd say (though I'm not surprised, since I loved her 2020 song too). Apparently she's a former Junior Eurovision winner? I'd believe that! I can praise her and this song for so long, and it's not even one of my favorites: I love the lyrics a lot! I'm all for positive messages, and this song manages to have fun while also doing that, AND taking jabs at sexists along the way with great lines like "I'm too good to be true, but there's nothing in it for you!" and the cute "Excuse my French~!" I love the fun swing instrumentals! I love the choir during the bridge! This is just a REALLY good song that deserves all the praise, and I'm so so happy for Malta. I'd best describe this song as "'Toy', but less jokey" (well.....lyrically. Musically, they're not that much alike, but....yeah, you get it) and I like it for for that! Prediction: Could this be Malta's year? A lot of people seem to think so! And....honestly, I'm all for it! I think this could be a very worthy winner. Not to mention, that of the current top three with the betters (this, Switzerland, and France), this is easily my favorite, so....I guess that counts as me rooting for it, unless some other song pulls a Conchita and shoots up the board after being heard live. For now, I'd say this is my pick to win (although my heart is still with Italy TTvTT) At the very least, it's a shoo-in for the final, cuz this is a singer who's been in this kinda environment and will probably sound great. I'd say at least top five!

Song: SUGAR Country: Moldova Thoughts: Moldova's back at it again with their silly antics! I absolutely love "Stay", but it's pretty clear that their entries get more buzz when they're being fun and weird. This song is neither the most fun or the weirdest of this year, but I still appreciate it all the same. Apparently this is the lady who sang in "Loca"? I remember that song....I don't think many other people do. Eh, I still like it, with its catchy rhythm, and its....weird rhymes....but this song is a vast improvement! I like the fun, flirty vibe to it. Sadly, however, with how many upbeat songs there are this year, this is one that kinda fades into the background compared to its competition....well, at least to me. It's good, but not great. I remember calling it a weaker version of the Azerbaijani entry in my first impression post, and that was way too harsh, but I still wouldn't rank it high. Prediction: However, I DO think this could qualify fairly easily. In the second semifinal with most of the mid- to low-tier songs with the betters (and really only Iceland, Finland, Bulgaria, and Switzerland being the ones to beat), this is one of the ones I think has a better chance of standing out. However, I've done this with Moldova's entries WAY too often....Loving them, predicting they'll qualify, only for them not to...I don't love this one, but it could be the same story here. For now, I'm gonna predict they'll qualify, though. I have no idea how they'll do once in the final, however...

Song: Birth Of A New Age Country: The Netherlands Thoughts: What a unique song! A language we've never heard before in Eurovision, incorporating the singer's nationality and culture into a song that sounds like nothing else this year. I'm honestly a bit surprised that this song isn't getting more attention! It's not one of my favorites, but I like it quite a bit. And not just for uniqueness points (that isn't enough to make me LIKE a song, just enough for me to RESPECT it), I honestly like how it sounds. The vocals are great, the beat is catchy, and the lyrics are very well-written. What was that about host countries never trying? XD Prediction: I want this song to do well, but I don't think it will....Well, I don't think it'll flop, but it won't be near the top either. Maybe in the 10-20 range. I do think the juries will like it.

Song: Here I Stand Country: North Macedonia Thoughts: So.....I feel like I SHOULD find this song boring, since a lot of people do, but...I like it. I don't LOVE it, but I like it! The lyrics are nice and....kinda hit home for me? At least a bit. The message of "keep pushing on, no matter what happens, don't let them break you" when coming out of a bad experience....It's nice. Kinda hard to fully explain without getting personal, so I won't. Not to mention that it has a good buildup, which is what I love in my ballads. In fact, maybe it's just me, but you know what song this reminds me of? "Home". At least musically. And I liked that song too, I thought it was underrated. Also, this has nothing to do with the actual song, but the video, but....even though I HATE being reminded of last year's cancellation, I like seeing the singer's thought process when writing this song. Even if people will probably think it's a pity party, I appreciate this song a fair bit. I know I'll probably look stupid for saying I think this song is more interesting than "Proud", but eh, that's FAR from my most unpopular opinion this year, just wait.... Prediction: Considering it's this year's "Home", and "Home" was so underrated that I believe it probably wouldn't have been in the final if it wasn't from the host country....Part of me wants to say that this song's doomed. Macedonia are normally one of the unluckiest countries in this contest's history no matter how good their songs are, and having one year where the juries loved them probably won't buck that trend. A lot of people are gonna overlook this song for being a fairly standard ballad, and yeah, it kinda is. So I don't think it's gonna qualify.

Song: Fallen Angel Country: Norway Thoughts: I loved this song from the first time I heard it. It was the first song of the bunch that I memorized the lyrics to. I like singing along to it. But I was certain, like DEAD certain, that it wouldn't go above a guilty pleasure to me. At first glance, this sounds like a really cheesy boy band song from the 90s, which is why I thought people were gonna eat it alive, and I was gonna have to attempt to explain myself for liking it (like I'm gonna do for the Polish entry). I grew up with this kind of music! I like it! And it's catchy! And the lyrics are just SO good! Feeling like you're not good enough for the person you love, and thinking that there's no way they can be happy with you, are feelings I really really relate to...so it's no wonder I jumped on those lyrics and etched them into my brain as quickly as I could. Helping that is that my current crush IS female, so I can easily sing this song while thinking of her...but even with that, I was still very hesitant to rank this song super high. After all, the reasons I had for liking it were purely just bias, right? That doesn't mean it's a good song, and people are still gonna make fun of it! I can see why they'd make fun of it! ....That's what I thought, but then I saw that it was ranked highly in the betting odds. And I no longer felt like I had to regret liking it anymore. And THEN, the music video finally was released, and HOO BOY, was this song so much deeper than I (or nearly ANYONE) thought...This isn't just a love song. It's about TIX's feelings of self-loathing. About being mistreated for a disability. It was his story. I was SO shocked at how wrong I was, and now I....kinda feel bad for projecting myself into it? I still can't help it, but....no, it's not about that anymore. I love this song fully and unironically, and I will never call it cheesy again. If you don't like the sound of it, or take it at face value, that's perfectly fine. But I love it. While this doesn't QUITE break into my top seven favorites, it's a very solid eighth. Prediction: Please qualify please qualify PLEASE!! Since it's in the Bloodbath Semi and fan-favorite songs WILL be cut, I'm really really hoping for this not to be one of those. This deserves to be in the final! I'd even say that this deserves it more than Slovenia and Croatia (songs I actually like more)! B-but...ugh...I can't say for certain that it'll be safe, that's the thing...but, haaaaah, OK, I'll predict it'll qualify. I think I'm overreacting. Norway have a pretty good record. I can see the people who like this song being enough to make it do pretty well, though it's definitely not a winner.

Song: The Ride Country: Poland Thoughts: You ever have a song that you can't focus on anything during? Like, you're focusing on something else with music playing in the background, but then that one song comes on and you just HAVE to take a break so you can listen to it because it's just SO good that it steals all your attention? That's me with this song. "The Ride" is right, it IS a ride, a ride I NEVER wanna get off of. And considering the only other Eurovision songs to effect me in that way have been flipping "Time" and "You Are The Only One" ("Stones" came close to doing that too, but I could at least still play during it cuz it was such good action music), then it should come as no surprise that yes, this is my favorite song of the year. And yes, I KNOW how stupid I probably look saying that. This song has NOT been a popular choice, but to heck with it! I can't help what music I like! This song is just so flipping catchy and fun, it's got a nice beat, and I've loved it from first listen! I'm not sorry! Heck, it's even kinda atmospheric in a way, in that it's a good nightlife song, giving off the feel of an amusement park at night with all the rollercoasters lit up with LEDs as you feel the wind in your face, no cares, no worries....just turn your brain off and sing along. I even like the lyrics, particularly "It doesn't matter if I stumble and fall / I'll make it through, I'll never touch the ground". It's enjoying life, it's the feeling of flying, it's feeling on top of the world, it's escapism. Have I defended this silly song enough? Point is: I. Love. It. This is the first time a Polish entry has EVER topped my list, which by default makes it my favorite entry from them ever, and I'm happy to give them love (they've been my second-favorite twice, but one of those barely counts cuz it was in a weak year and also a song that sounded bad live, so....yeah, my former favorite Polish entry was their 1998 entry, which....didn't do well, but uh, that's then not now ^^;) Prediction: This is what I've been dreading....for a song that makes me wanna leave all my stress behind, it sure does stress me out thinking of how much HATE it's getting, oh boy oh boy! Though, from what I've picked up, MOST of the hate has come from fellow Polish people who are upset that it wasn't who they wanted as their entry? So...that's not accurate to how everyone else thinks? Well, that's what I've seen, at least....This song's still not doing very well in the betting odds, and also, being an electronic song, the possibility if it sounding worse live than in the studio is....definitely a possibility.....S-so....yeah....Sadly, as much as I love it, I can't trick myself into thinking it has a chance....It's probably not gonna qualify....If it does surprise me (which HAS happened before with favorites I thought were doomed!) I'll probably flip out!! Unlike Estonia's entry however, I don't think it's AS doomed, might stand out more, and a small part of me wants to hope...The fact that the semifinal it's in, the second, is the one with the less fan-favorites, does increase its odds ever so slightly...b-but uh, I don't wanna get too hopeful! I don't want my heart broken again like with "Look Away" two years ago (which I LEGIT thought had a chance XD)

Song: Love Is On My Side Country: Portugal Thoughts: Kay, so first, before talking about my thoughts, lemme share the hilarious misunderstanding I had about this song for the first few times I heard it: I normally don't watch the videos, I only listen to the playlist in the background as I play video games or do other stuff. Even the first time I heard the songs, I didn't watch the videos, I just had the music playing in one tab and was focusing on typing on Tumblr. And....I thought this song was sung by a woman. True story. I thought it was a woman with a very unique voice, and I was gonna praise the song for that. But nope! Took me WAY too long - about over a WEEK, the time I decided to start reading comments - for me to learn the singer's a man. OOPS. XD But at least it kinda makes sense for me to think that way? With lyrics like "I never thought I'd be queen", he's clearly telling the story of a woman. In fact, I learned that it's the true story of a woman he met (I forget the details though). So yeah, I thought that was kinda funny, but how do I actually feel about the song? Well, it's a grower! I was worried that it'd stagnate for me and I'd end up indifferent, but the unique voice combined with a subject that I normally like (staying optimistic in bad situations) won me over. I don't love it, but it's nice and has good lyrics. You really feel bad for the woman (seriously, leaving home at sixteen?) so it's effective. I wanna believe love is on my side too... Prediction: This one's tough, cuz a lot of people do love this song, and it does a good job of standing out by being the slowest song in its semifinal, I don't really think a lot of people will gravitate toward it? And that it just barely won't qualify? But it could really go either way. I'm gonna predict it won't qualify and that it'll be the "robbed" one people will be upset about in the second semi. But maybe I'm just saying that cuz that semi will already be painful for my favorites, too...and I'd prefer Poland, Denmark, or Estonia's slim SLIM chances to come through over this.

Song: Amnesia Country: Romania Thoughts: This song is just a whole mood. I could just end my thoughts with that one sentence, cuz that really just about sums it up. XD Self-love is something I've always struggled with, and I've been trying really really hard to get better at it this year. Without getting too personal, there was something that happened a few months back that made me realize just how badly my hatred for myself was effecting people around me, and that I needed to lighten the crap up before it comes off the wrong way and....I-I bring others down with me....But after all that, it was HARD. It really did feel like I.....lost myself trying to have it all. But I'm slowly learning to better myself, and this song spoke to me because of that. "If you feel what I feel, don't bring yourself down, you're not alone, not alone now". It's simple, but it works. Admittedly, I respect this song more than I like it, but I do like it. There are just a lot of songs I'd prefer to listen to. And the POV switching from first to second-person confuses me a bit (she says that YOU'RE not alone, and then that SHE lost herself, and then goes back to YOU'RE not alone? Who's the one with the amnesia?) but that's just a nitpick, and I've heard much worse English in Eurovision than that. This is still a good song with a very good message that I needed to hear. Prediction: Even in the bloodbath that will be the first semifinal, I do think this song's mostly safe? Mostly...Romania haven't had the best of luck the past 2-3 years, but their record is still mostly hits, and this song's still the favorite of people. But some favorites are gonna get snubbed, and honestly, I wouldn't mind if it's this one. There are songs I like more. But for my actual prediction, um....I think it'll qualify.

Song: Russian Woman Country: .....Russia Thoughts: This one's a grower. I can't deny its catchiness. Sometimes it's gets in my head completely randomly, particularly that slow part with the...is that a choir? Um, background singers. That part (I don't wanna butcher Russian lyrics, sorry! >.<) But, even with that, I don't fully love this song. I know it's gotten a lot of attention, but to me, it just....doesn't hit very much? I thought about it, and I came up with this: this is a song by a Russian woman, for Russian women, and ONLY Russian women. It's about how strong they are, and how they should rise up against their country's sexism and- it's all very specific to Russia? So, I can't really enjoy it as much as the people its aimed at, and that's fine, because, well, it's NOT aimed at me and I shouldn't pretend it is! I'm not even in the target audience for this whole dang contest! XD So, my opinion DOES NOT reflect what I think of the quality of the song. The song's good. It's very catchy. There's nothing wrong with it. I just can't relate to it, which make it my personal least-favorite of the "I'm a woman and awesome" songs of this year. (What happened to Little Big tho?...) Prediction: Yeah, they're gonna easily qualify, even in such a stacked semifinal they're safe. They've been shooting up the betting odds recently, so I feel like they could do very well, maybe even finish in the top ten. Russia's like Sweden in that if their entry is popular, its guaranteed a spot toward the top. XD

Song: Adrenalina Country: San Marino Thoughts: Holy CRAP is this one heck of a grower! When I first heard it, I was more confused by the sudden appearance of Flo Rida of all people to really think about if I like the song. And for a while, I didn't even think I liked the rap all that much? I do like plenty of mid-song raps, but this one I felt didn't really fit the song all that well. Like it was just pasted in there from another song entirely. But, a few listens later, and I started rapidly liking this song more and more. Fitting for its name, there's just nothing but energy here. It's a great song to put on to just....pump me up! The whole thing's just dripping with a sense of pure fun. The instrumentals are great, it just sounds so good! In terms of growers, this is a close second to the Belgian song. Also, while I'm not a huge fan of Flo Rida normally, comparing past Sanmarinese entries I will say that his rap is a LOT better than the rapping in "Who We Are" was, that's for sure! Prediction: This song doing so well in the betting odds is.....honestly amazing. XD This is the most hype San Marino's EVER gotten, which I think could qualify them for the final? But also, maybe not...with San Marino, you never know. They are helped by Flo Rida's name recognition but there's NO way he's as big in Europe as he is in America (and even in America, I haven't met that many people who are actually fans of Flo Rida), so...is it enough? I think it very well could be! It's a very good song, and Senhit's been in Eurovision before so hopefully she knows what she's doing on stage. Also, this is a song that better have cool staging with it! But for my prediction....screw it, I'm gonna predict they're gonna qualify. I even say this as I have favorites in the second semifinal that they're definitely gonna push out, but ah well...

Song: LOCO LOCO Country: Serbia Thoughts: Yet another super fun, upbeat song! And while I don't love this song as much as others (Poland's, Denmark's, and Azerbaijan's entries, even San Marino's at this point), this is still one of my more favorite of that type, and I....honestly couldn't tell you why! It has a lot of energy, but it sounds different enough to stand out. And it's catchy while not being in English! I kinda wish I could learn Serbian so I could sing along to this...XD It also grabs my attention from the very start. I dunno why, but I love that "Hur- Hur- Hur- Hurricane!" followed by the beat starting, I find it to be a cool and infectious way to pump me up for the song. Overall, one of the songs that I don't think about a lot, but when it comes on, I enjoy every second...Oh and also it has one of the most exciting key changes of this year so there's that too. Good job to Serbia! Prediction: I think this one's a fair bet to qualify! However, it's not guaranteed. They're not attracting THAT much attention in the betting odds (which surprises me a bit), but the second semifinal seems to be where MOST of the lower-ranked songs are (sadly, says the person with three favorites in it), and among those, I think Serbia will most likely make it. The song stands out a lot. So I'm gonna predict they'll qualify! But if they don't, ah well, it could be to make way for a song I like more (hopefully...I wouldn't wanna say goodbye to this song to make way for the Czech or Austrian songs), so I wouldn't mind THAT much I hope. As for the final, they're definitely not a front-runner, so I could see them ultimately stuck around the middle. Unfortunate since I like this song a lot.

Song: Amen Country: Slovenia Thoughts: Where to start with this one....This is one of my favorites, and it's in the same way as "Stay" in 2019 and "Mall" in 2018 where I have a hard time really articulating why. It's a song that makes me FEEL, and it's hard to convey that in words, so yeah! This song just....hits me so hard in the gut whenever I hear it, so I love it! It's effective at its job! Even the big thing that I thought would hold it back for me - being a religious song - didn't hurt it at all in the end. The lyrics are ambiguous enough that it doesn't JUST come off as preachy and religious and that's all. It can also be taken as a song of rising above tragedy...The most religious thing it does is mention the heavens casting you out, and that can be taken in multiple ways. But if it is meant to be religious, that's fine, I've already made the decision to love it. I'm agnostic, so I don't outright hate religious music if it's not trying to shove messages in my face. The moment I fell in love with this song was one day when I was feeling really down, was listening to the playlist to unwind, and then this song came on right after Romania's entry (which I already talked about relating to a lot). When I heard the chorus, I literally teared up. THIS is the song that made me cry this year. Not Austria's or Spain's (the songs literally about dead family members), but this one. Is that...something to be ashamed about? XD I just....really love the lyrics...."The storm's relentless, but everybody knows, everybody knows we're born to the fight"...It really just sounds so uplifting, and yes, spiritual. And even beyond that, I just like how the song sounds! I love ballads that build, and this one BUILDS, with such a soaring chorus. The vocals are outstanding, too! That's one powerful voice! I also really love how, after you think it's over, it comes back for one final chorus, that's probably one of the best parts of the song. This song makes GREAT use of the recorded backing vocals, making the choir sound absolutely massive, a lot more than it'd be live. It really makes it sound so big and grand....Uh, I've rambled about this song enough, haven't I? Uhhh, point is: This is my favorite ballad of the year and I'm not sorry. I think it's underrated as heck. Prediction: And because it's underrated as heck, and in such a packed bloodbath of a semifinal crammed full of fan-favorites battling to the death, I....don't think....it'll qualify.....I'd obviously LOVE it too, but the competition's so flipping strong, and....I-it's still just a ballad, so it's not to everyone's tastes...I-I've come to terms with that fact, and if Croatia make it, I'll try not to be too bummed when this doesn't.

Song: Voy A Quedarme Country: Spain Thoughts: At first, I was pretty indifferent to this song, but it slowly grew on me, and now I like it. It builds just enough to keep me interested. It's still low tier compared to everything else, but I can appreciate it all the same. It sounds so emotional that I went into comments to see if there was some kind of story attached to it, and, uh....let's just say that there is, and....it's depressing. But it did make me respect the song even more. There's not a lot to say here, but that doesn't mean it's bad. It's just....overshadowed, I guess. Not a standout song, but it's genuine, and I like it just fine for what it is. Prediction: Oof...Spain once again find themselves overlooked, and even though the song's fine, I can see why. I can't see this doing very well...If flipping "La Venda" ended up an underrated flop, a song like this isn't gonna get Spain outta their rut. I really do wanna see them do well! But this isn't the year for that.

Song: Voices Country: Sweden Thoughts: Dang it....they did it again. XD Part of me wanted to be bummed that we didn't get The Mamas again, cuz they would've been my favorite last year, but....Sweden know what they're doing, and what they brought us was still really, really good. Like.....REALLY good. Are the lyrics on the generic side? Ummmm.....maybe? I have said that this is a relatively "safe" entry, but that doesn't mean it's not really good. More like...there's been a lot of songs with similar lyrics in Eurovision. But that doesn't take away from the music at all, which is awesome. The chorus is nice and big, the vocals are good, and the little bagpipe bits are such a neat touch. There isn't any big standout elements to me, and it's nowhere near "Too Late For Love" level, but it's just a very solid song. And.....dare I say, better than that other popular song that mentioned a million voices. Prediction: Do I even need to say anything here? XD It's a popular song from Sweden. It's gonna qualify and place in the top ten! Done!

Song: Tout l'Univers Country: Switzerland Thoughts: Switzerland are riding the high from "She Got Me" and have once again sent a big fan-favorite song! Except this time, it's one of the predicted winners! What do I think of this? Well....it's a good song. I love powerful ballads, and this one adds drums, which I also love! But at the same time....I'm not nearly as crazy about it as other people are. Don't get me wrong, I LIKE it, but...I feel like we already got this kinda song with "Arcade"? I mean, there are differences, but its got a very similar sound with a similarly big chorus. But then again, I do think that just calling it "'Arcade' but in French" would be WAYYYY too harsh. It's not a copycat, it's very much its own thing. It just seems to be a coincidence. Also, even compared to this year's songs, I enjoy Slovenia's more? If I want a powerful song, I'd take that over this. MAYBE if I understood the lyrics, I'd like it better, but even so, this song doesn't WOW me, even if it's good. I'm happy for Switzerland, but....dang it, I can't say the O word here, cuz I hear the appeal and don't wanna come off as mean to a song I DO like aaaaaaa- Prediction: Even though it's not a personal favorite, I'm not gonna deny that this song could possibly win. I feel like the juries would adore it on top of all the attention its already getting. So, yeah, it's definitely making it to the final and doing very well. As for winning, I....honestly don't think so, but only cuz of how strong the competition is. So, I'll just say that right now, it's looking like this song will give Switzerland their best result in a long long time, doing better than "She Got Me" and (tragically) "Cool Vibes". It's obvious that in terms of how I'd rank the big favorites, I'd personally prefer Malta winning, but I would prefer this to France, so it's in the middle. But even putting my opinions aside, I really can't see it pulling off the win, at most coming really close.

Song: SHUM Country: Ukraine Thoughts: Like with Malta and San Marino's songs, this is a song that, while not a favorite, gets better and better the more I hear it. I should really think about it more often, cuz this song is REALLY cool! My first instinct was to compare it to "Fire Of Love" from two years ago (a song that wasn't popular even though this song is?) but after some time, I realized that that isn't a fair comparison. Literally the only similarity is the vocal style. Everything else is different. But man is this song fun! I could look up what the lyrics mean, but I don't really feel like the lyrics matter here as much as the music does. This song is clearly about the beat. I love synth music, and I also like bouncy stuff that I can rock along to, and this song is as bouncy as can be! The lyrics do repeat, but weirdly I don't find that repetitive at all. And once I got used to it, I started to love the speed up. It's a really exciting end to the song. Talk about going out on a....high note! Haha! S-sorry.... Prediction: Yeaaaahhhh, there's no doubt that this song's gonna do very well indeed! People love it, and for good reason! It's a sure qualifier for the final, and could very well finish in the top ten.

Song: Embers Country: United Kingdom Thoughts: And finishing off this list is yet another upbeat happy song! God, I love how many of these there are this year....This one is far from the best of its kind, but it's still a lot of fun. The vocals stand out, the lyrics are nice and uplifting, and it's definitely the UK's bounciest entry in quite a few years. It feels like finally getting that uptight friend of yours to loosen up and party, y'know? XD I don't have much to say about this song, but I do like it. Prediction: What happened to "Bigger Than Us" was unfair, both its placement in the lineup and its treatment by the televoters, and it's pretty much cemented my idea that even if the UK send one of the best songs of the year, they will NOT catch a break, and that just sucks! (well, the exception being 2011, where it was the JURIES that screwed them over instead! Still did good for their standards tho) And also, like I said, this isn't the only song like this this year, so it's bound to get overlooked in favor of more popular (and even better) party songs. I don't think it'll be LAST, but it won't do particularly well. Definitely more toward the bottom than the top.

Aaaaaaaand there we go! That's all of them! Geez, despite having less entries then the past few years, this still was a LOT of rambling....so if you skipped ahead, I totally understand why. XD But if you did read all that, I'm happy you did! But I'm also sorry, pfffff. But now, the important part, my rankings!

Favorites:

1. Poland 2. Finland 3. Greece 4. Estonia 5. Denmark 6. Slovenia 7. Croatia

Borderline Favorites:

8. Norway 9. Italy 10. Azerbaijan 11. Latvia 12. Sweden

Like:

13. Belgium 14. Malta 15. San Marino 16. Serbia 17. Ukraine 18. Iceland 19. Ireland 20. UK 21. Cyprus (today at least) 22. Australia 23. Netherlands 24. Moldova 25. Romania 26. Germany 27. North Macedonia 28. Portugal 29. Israel 30. Lithuania 31. Russia 32. Switzerland 33. Czech Republic 34. Albania 35. Austria 36. Bulgaria 37. Spain

Indifferent:

38. France 39. Georgia

#eurovision #opinions

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whenputtingpentopaper · 4 years ago

Text

The Song

Part I - Kili’s Mistake

Part: I

A/N: I know the imagine is five years old, but I always loved reading the works that came of it. This is my own spin on the prompt, and there will be multiple parts. This is just the first. This is also my first work for this blog, and I’m very happy to get it out there. It was a joy to write over the past week. Also, the song is the Celtic Women’s version of Mo Ghile Mear, which is originally based on a poem about the Jacobite Rising of 1715. It has an interesting history, but I picked this version because it was the one that came to me when I thought of what the reader might sing. Because it isn’t native to Middle Earth, I changed the meaning of the song a bit; although, if you look at the translated lyrics of the chorus, it could imply the meaning I have assigned to it. Please, give it a listen; everything about it--the vocals, music, lyrics--are beautiful!

Also, requests are currently open, so request here. I am currently accepting requests for headcanons, blurbs, drabbles & one-shots!

Pairing: Kili (Tolkien) x Reader

Words: 2447

Synopsis: Based on the following ImaginexHobbit imagine found here.

Rated: T

Warnings: Language, Nudity & Sexual Themes

Can you feel the river run? Waves are dancing to the sun Take the tide and face the sea And find a way to follow me

The soft lilt of your voice carried through the silence of the night, your only accompaniment the gentle whisper of leaves, the barely there hum of woodland critters, and the sound of drops, rolling down your bare skin to fall to the river from whence they came. Fortunately, the wind was forgiving, tepid against your cooled skin, and the water that surrounded your body up to your waist was the perfect temperature. Refreshing but not freezing.

Leave the field and leave the fire And find the flame of your desire Set your heart on this far shore And sing your dream to me once more

Lifting your arms to bring your brush through another section of hair, you resumed your singing, eyes falling closed.

'Sé mo laoch mo ghile mear 'Sé mo Shéasar, gile mear Suan gan séan ní bhfuair mé féin Ó chuaigh I gcéin mo ghile mear

It was an old song but pretty, one your mother had used to sing to you when you were but a wee thing. Her ethereal voice combined with the melodic yet mysterious chorus were enough to soothe you to slumber. It was a comfort, even later on in your life, when you learned of the sad story the lyrics were weaving. A woman losing her love; a heartbreaking premise if there ever was one. And yet, it was as beautiful as the full moon’s reflection on this clear night.

Now the time has come to leave Keep the flame and still believe Know that love will shine through darkness One bright star to light the wave

Scooping up some water with your free hand, you brought the liquid to your right arm, rubbing gently against your skin and removing the dirt and grime that had built up from being on the road the past few days. You switched your brush to the opposite palm, repeating the process on the opposite side. It felt so good to be clean, which was why you couldn’t resist the opportunity to break away from your company of thirteen dwarves and a hobbit to come down to this river. You had known it to be here, having passed it earlier in the evening, just before Thorin had decided it was time they make camp. The lot of them had been so excited to finally sit in front of a fire and eat, but not you. Food could wait. You longed for a bath, knowing the last one you had was back in Rivendell.

'Sé mo laoch mo ghile mear 'Sé mo Shéasar, gile mear Suan gan séan ní bhfuair mé féin Ó chuaigh I gcéin mo ghile mear

You began to braid together the locks of your damp hair, having learned your lesson about letting it fly free while you roamed about Middle Earth. As your fingers twisted in and out, you began to head back towards shore, the wind having a slight chill to it now as it hit more and more of exposed skin. You broke out in gooseflesh as your feet left the water for the fine sand that made the shore. Quickly, urged on by the sudden cold and your nakedness, you finished the large plait, securing it with a band before letting it fall limp against your back.

Lift your voice and raise the sail Know that love will never fail Know that I will sing to you Each night as I dream of you

You waited a few minutes, using your hands to warm your shoulders as you walked over to the small towel you had laid out on a nearby rock. A tunic and trousers lay beside it, without dampness and warm and calling to you, but you took some time to dry yourself off, bending over to start with your legs before bringing the towel over your stomach and chest. Your arms were last, and the air would remove whatever wetness remained on your cheeks.

'Sé mo laoch mo ghile mear 'Sé mo Shéasar, gile mear Suan gan séan ní bhfuair mé féin Ó chuaigh I gcéin mo ghile mear

Finally dressed, you gathered your towel and brush, walking back towards the campsite, using deep dwarfish laughter as your guide. There was a slight upslope towards them with trees littering the path you made, but now that you were in a few layers and shoes, you did not mind the walk, continuing to sing softly to yourself until you came to the end of the song.

A few moments later, you were being greeted by smiles and Bofur asking about your bath.

“It was wonderful, and definitely something I needed,” you responded as you placed your items by your pack before joining the Company around the fire. A bowl was put into your lap, filled about halfway with some stew. It was still steaming, thankfully, and you immediately began to eat, your stomach aching now with the prospect of being filled with food, and Bombur’s food to boot!

“Perhaps we should all partake in a bath before setting out in the morrow,” Bilbo nonchalantly suggested from beside you, and you hid your smile behind the rim of your bowl. He had been complaining of the stench that seemed to permeate the Company; you weren’t the only one having gone without a proper cleansing since your time with the elves.

The golden-haired dwarf was the first to respond to the hobbit’s suggestion, his eyes going wide with mock outrage. “Why, Bilbo, are you suggesting that we stink?”

“You know what, Fili, I think he is suggesting such a thing,” Kili said, lightly hitting his brother’s shoulder with the back of his hand. “The nerve. Especially when he smells just as bad.”

“Aye,” agreed his brother, leaning towards him as he eyed Bilbo with a frown. “If not worse.”

The hobbit looked absolutely livid by the two young dwarves’ banter, and the scowl on his face with his glare directed at them had the opposite effect than what had been desired. The brothers bursted out into laughter, and the rest of the group soon joined in at poor Bilbo’s expense. Even you, who normally took pity on the object of Kili’s and Fili’s wrath were not immune to the infectious hysterics. And so, the rest of the evening continued on with small talk and howling among companions; nothing of any real note happened until you were settling down for the night.

The trouble started as you were laying out your bedroll beneath a tree, close to Bilbo and Kili, who was in the midst of doing the same. Fili was taking first watch, meaning he was away from his younger brother, and therefore, not being influenced to partake in his dastardly whims. The camp was quiet because of this, several of the company’s members already burrowed beneath their blankets, soothed to sleep by the crickets and frogs, voicing their own soothing lullaby.

But they were not the only ones singing.

'Sé mo laoch mo ghile mear 'Sé mo Shéasar, gile mear

It was the brunet Durin, murmuring the words to your song.

Suan gan séan ní bhfuair mé féin Ó chuaigh I gcéin mo ghile mear

And there was only one possible way he could have heard it, as you had never, ever sung in the presence of any of the men you were currently traveling with. You couldn’t. Not knowingly. You had an awful case of nerves whenever asked to perform in front of others, so to have learned the lyrics to that song…

“Kili!” his name was a horrified gasp from your lips, and he froze in his work, his back still to you. He had gone silent, the rest of the words dying in his throat when he realized he had been caught.

You stepped over your bedroll before taking another long stride to find yourself leaning down into the young Dwarf’s face, hands on your hips. “How do you know that song?”

Kili audibly gulped, chocolate brown eyes straying from yours as he took a few moments to try and come up with some sort of an excuse, but having you this close to him, even with all your ire drifting off of your form in waves, was chasing away any coherent thought, let alone a proper explanation. And as more time passed in silence, he could feel your glare sharpening, as if getting ready to pierce right through him. His lips parted, having found his throat had gone dry, and he sucked in a bit of air to try and buy himself some more time. Of course, he had nothing to say. What could he say when it was quite obvious just where he had heard that song before?

But your patience had, apparently, run out, and more than anything, you felt the sting of betrayal. This dwarf, this wonderful goofy man-child that you had come to care for, clearly wasn’t the gentleman you had initially learned him to be. All those offerings of hands to keep you from tripping, giftings of his blanket to keep you warmer at night and all those questions regarding your well-being, where had they stemmed from? How could the same person that had been so kind and polite towards you--with the occasional, meaningless prank--peak on you while you were in the middle of a bath? You had told him where you were going because you trusted that he would keep the others from following; it most certainly had not been an invitation for a private viewing party.

Unable to bear his presence any longer, you spun away from him, crossing the short distance to your bedroll and gathering it up in your arms along with the rest of your things. You walked around the Hobbit, who was currently feigning sleep to make it seem that he hadn’t been listening to your whole exchange with the young prince, and set yourself up so that he was your buffer. The whole while, you felt Kili’s eyes at your back, and when you went to lay down for the evening, in your periphery, you noticed that he had not moved from where you had left him, only now, he looked positively guilty, head hanging and bottom lip in an almost-pout.

Your heart--infernal thing that it was--ached at his expression. He looked even smaller than usual--being a human, you were taller than him--but you couldn’t let that get to you. What he did was wrong. And the fact he had no explanation for his behavior confirmed the worst for you. He had really just come down to the river to get an eyeful of you; the performance was just an extra, one that had lingered in his mind.

It stung, and you had trouble falling asleep that night, your back to both Bilbo and Kili. That next morning, it was Fili--not his brother--that had tapped your shoe with the tip of his boot, stirring you from slumber. Dazed, you lifted your head slowly, looking at him over your shoulder.

“Time to get up, Y/N. Thorin wants us to move out soon,” the blond dwarf said with a pitying smile; it was clear that he had woken you from a deep sleep.

Once he had walked off, you gave yourself a moment and a good stretch before getting to your feet and starting on packing.

Beside you, Bilbo was just finishing up with his bedroll when he turned to you. The hobbit watched you for a few minutes, his mouth opening and closing a few times before he finally stepped towards you and said what was on his mind, “I, um, I know it probably isn’t any of my business, but your father did ask that I keep an eye out for you while on this journey. And I, obviously, saw what had happened between you and Kili last night. It isn’t clear to me what had transpired; all I gathered from the situation was that you weren’t happy he knew that song he had been singing. However, if you do feel like talking, know that I am more than willing to lend an ear, should you need it.”

It was a sweet sentiment, one that made you smile at him as you straightened to your full height. “Thanks, Bilbo. I appreciate you being willing to do that for me, but this is really between Kili and I.”

“Understood,” he responded with a nod, curls bouncing with the movement. “But if you change your mind, don’t be afraid to come to me.”

“I will. Thank you.”

Unfortunately for Kili--and Fili, too, who had to hear his brother’s lamenting whenever the two of them were alone--your way of handling the situation was to completely avoid him. If he brought his pony up by yours, you’d urge yours to go a bit faster, moving between two company members so that the brown-haired prince had no choice but to remain behind you. If he tried to talk to you once camp was set, you’d make your way over to Bilbo or Bofur and talk to them as if Kili hadn’t just called your name. If you woke in the morning to find his blanket over you, you’d fold it up and place it by him. But what killed the young dwarf the most was the fact that you wouldn’t even look at him, and you didn’t do it with such conviction, too, as if your eyes landing upon his features would cause you to turn to stone. That was preposterous, of course, but damn it all! He missed you!

For you, there was a simple reason for gazing everywhere but at Kili’s face. If you didn’t see the puppy dog eyes, they would have no effect on you. Plain and simple. Although, after a couple days of this, you were beginning to miss him, too. This had gone on for long enough. It was childish behavior on your part--both Bilbo and Fili had said so--but they did not know what he had done! And to fix things between the two of you, a talk would have to happen, one you weren’t sure you were ready to have since it would involve bringing up the fact he had been peeping on you down at the river.

So things continued to be painful for the Company, as neither of you could find the will to broach the subject with the other, until the two of you had no choice but to have that awkward conversation.

The setting? Mirkwood’s dungeon.

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taylorswifthongkong · 4 years ago

Link

Aaron Dessner confirms: folklore is Taylor Swift’s goth record. Or, at least, it’s her most gothic record. It’s also a few other things, depending on your mood: an unofficial Big Red MachineDessner and Bon Iver’s Justin Vernon started Big Red Machine in 2008 as a loose musical collaboration. They released their official self-titled debut LP in 2018, and this year released “No Time For Love Like Now” with Michael Stipe. collaboration (Big RED Machine); a spiritual companion to The National’s 2019 album I Am Easy To Find, specifically its accompanying Mike Mills film, also shot in black-and-white and emphasizing a more natural setting; or just Swift’s attempt at a headphone record, one that, even if you don’t buy into the Taylor Swift mythology, rewards multiple listens as you pick up on all the intricacies of each song and realize wow, this is where the In Rainbows influence comes in. Dessner is the one to thank for all these little details.

The National multi-instrumentalist spoke to Vulture over the phone from upstate New York a few hours after the surprise release of Swift’s eighth studio album. (“A pretty wild ride,” he admits, sounding tired yet happy.) He was clear that he can’t speak on behalf of Swift’s lyrics, much like he can’t for The National frontman Matt Berninger’s either, or the thinking behind Jack Antonoff’s songs. (Here’s a cheat sheet: Jack’s songs soar, Aaron’s glide.) But Dessner was game to speak to his specific contributions, influences, and own interpretations of each song on folklore, a record you can sum up by two words that came up often during our conversation: nostalgic and wry.

“the 1″

“the 1” and “hoax,” the first song and the last song, were the last songs we did. The album was sort of finished before that. We thought it was complete, but Taylor then went back into the folder of ideasMany of Dessner’s songs started from him sending files of sketches from a folder of ideas to Swift, who then replied with updated files of her ideas and additions. Swift also would start some songs by sending voice memos to Dessner, who would then flesh them out or write music to it. Dessner would also send files to his brother, Bryce, and other collaborators to flesh out the music; he sums up the process as “sending files around.” that I had shared. I think in a way, she didn’t realize she was writing for this album or a future something. She wrote “the 1,” and then she wrote “hoax” a couple of hours later and sent them in the middle of the night. When I woke up in the morning, I wrote her before she woke up in LA and said, “These have to be on the record.” She woke up and said, “I agree” [laughs] These are the bookends, you know?

It’s clear that “the 1” is not written from her perspective. It’s written from another friend’s perspective. There’s an emotional wryness and rawness, while also to this kind of wink in her eyes. There’s a little bit of her sense of humor in there, in addition to this kind of sadness that exists both underneath and on the surface. I enjoy that about her writing.

The song [began from] the voice memo she sent me, and then I worked on the music some and we tracked her vocals, and then my brotherOn bringing in fellow The National member, Bryce Dessner: “My brother lives in France and that’s where he and his family were in lockdown. I would send songs to Bryce for him to add orchestration, and then he would send them back. He would compose to them and then I would have people record them over here remotely.” added orchestration. There are a few other little bits, but basically that was one of the very last things we did.

THE MEANING OF FOLKLORE

We didn’t talk about it at first. It was only after writing six or seven songs, basically when I thought my writing was done, when we got on the phone and said, “OK, I think we’re making an album. I have these six other ideas that I love with Jack [Antonoff] that we’ve already done, and I think what we’ve done fits really well with them.” It’s sort of these narratives, these folkloric songs, with characters that interweave and are written from different perspectives. She had a vision, and it was connecting back in some way to the folk tradition, but obviously not entirely sonically. It’s more about the narrative aspect of it.

I think it’s this sort of nostalgia and wistfulness that is in a lot of the songs. A lot of them have this kind of longing for looking back on things that have happened in your life, in your friend’s life, or another loved one’s life, and the kind of storytelling around that. That was clear to her. But then we kept going, and more and more songs happened.

It was a very organic process where [meaning] wasn’t something that we really discussed. It just kind of would happen where she would dive back into the folder and find other things that were inspiring. Or she and William BoweryDessner explains of the one unknown name who pops up in the folklore credits: “William Bowery is who she wrote ‘exile’ with, and ‘betty.’ He’s a singer-songwriter.” would write “exile,” and then that happened. There were different stages of the process.

Okay, but is it A24-core? [Laughs.] Good comparison.

“cardigan’”

That’s the first song we wrote [in early May]. After Taylor asked if I would be interested in writing with her remotelyOn folklore being recorded somewhat on-the-fly: “I prefer records when they have an element where the paint is still wet. We’re allowing some paint to be human and raw, so [collaborations were] not hired out too much. That was important to me, and that was important to her, too. That is definitely different from her past records.” and working on songs, I said, “Are you interested in a certain kind of sound?” She said, “I’m just interested in what you do and what you’re up to. Just send anything, literally anything, it could be the weirdest thing you’ve ever done,” so I sent a folder of stuff I had done that I was really excited about recently. “cardigan” was one of those sketches; it was originally called “Maple.” It was basically exactly what it is on the record, except we added orchestration later that my brother wrote.

I sent [the file] at 9 p.m., and around 2 a.m. or something, there was “cardigan,” fully written. That’s when I realized something crazy was happening. She just dialed directly into the heart of the music and wrote an incredible song and fully conceived of it and then kept going. It harkens back to lessons learned, or experiences in your youth, in a really beautiful way and this sense of longing and sadness, but ultimately, it’s cathartic. I thought it was a perfect match for the music, and how her voice feels. It was kind of a guide. It had these lower register parts, and I think we both realized that this was a bit of a lightning rod for a lot of the rest of the record.

THE NATIONAL’S INFLUENCE ON SWIFT:

She said that she’s a fan of the emotion that’s conveyed in our music. She doesn’t often get to work with music that is so raw and emotional, or melodic and emotional, at the same time. When I sent her the folder, that was one of the main feelings. She said, “What the fuck? How do you just have that?” [laughs] I was humbled and honored because she just said, “It’s a gift, and I want to write to all of this.” She didn’t write to all of it, but a lot of it, and relatively quickly.

She is a fan of the band, and she’s a fan of Big Red Machine. She’s well aware of the sentiment of it and what I do, but she didn’t ask for a certain kind of thing. I know that the film [I Am Easy To Find] has really affected her, and she’s very much in love with that film and the record. Maybe it’s subconsciously been an influence.

“the last great american dynasty”

I wrote that after we’d been working for a while. It was an attempt to write something attractive, more uptempo and kind of pushing. I also was interested in this almost In Rainbows-style latticework of electric guitars. They come in and sort of pull you along, kind of reminiscent of Big Red Machine. It was very much in this sound world that I’ve been playing around with, and she immediately clicked with that. Initially I was imagining these dreamlike distant electric guitars and electronics but with an element of folk. There’s a lot going on in that sense. I sent it before I went on a run, and when I got back from the run, that song was thereJust how fast of a songwriter is Taylor? Dessner marvels, “It’s almost like a song would come out like a lightning bolt. It’s exhilarating. The shared focus, the clarity of her ideas, and the way she structures things, it’s all there. But I think she works really hard when she’s working, and then she tweaks. She keeps going, so sometimes things would evolve or change. By the time she actually sings it, she’s really inside of it. She doesn’t do very many vocal takes before she nails it.” [laughs].

She told me the story behind it, which sort of recounts the narrative of Rebekah Harkness, whom people actually called Betty. She was married to the heir of Standard Oil fortune, married into the Harkness family, and they bought this house in Rhode Island up on a cliff. It’s kind of the story of this woman and the outrageous parties she threw. She was infamous for not fitting in, entirely, in society; that story, at the end, becomes personal. Eventually, Taylor bought that house. I think that is symptomatic of folklore, this type of narrative song. We didn’t do very much to that either.

“exile” (ft. Bon Iver)

Taylor and William Bowery, the singer-songwriter, wrote that song initially together and sent it to me as a sort of a rough demo where Taylor was singing both the male and female parts. It’s supposed to be a dialogue between two lovers. I interpreted that and built the song, played the piano, and built around that template. We recorded Taylor’s vocals with her singing her parts but also the male parts.

We talked a lot about who she thought would be perfect to sing, and we kept coming back to Justin [Vernon]. Obviously, he’s a dear friend of mine and collaboratorSo, is folklore secretly a new Big Red Machine album? Dessner coyly offers, “I mean, you might not be far off the truth there, but I think I won’t say more.”. I said, “Well, if he’s inspired by the song, he’ll do it, and if not, he won’t.” I sent it to him and said, “No pressure at all, literally no pressure, but how do you feel about this?” He said, “Wow.” He wrote some parts into it also, and we went back and forth a little bit, but it felt like an incredibly natural and safe collaboration between friends. It didn’t feel like getting a guest star or whatever. It was just like, well, we’re working on something, and obviously he’s crazy talented, but it just felt right. I think they both put so much raw emotion into it. It’s like a surface bubbling. It’s believable, you know? You believe that they’re having this intense dialogue.

With other people I had to be secretive, but with Justin, because he was going to sing, I actually did send him a version of the song with her vocals and told him what I was up to. He was like, “Whoa! Awesome!” But he’s been involved in so many big collaborative things that he wasn’t interested in it from that point of view. It’s more because he loved the song and he thought he could do something with it that would add something.

“my tears ricochet”

This is one of my absolute favorite songs on the record. I think it’s a brilliant composition, and Taylor’s words, the way her voice sounds and how this song feels, are, to me, one of the critical pieces. It’s lodged in my brain. That’s also very important to Taylor and Jack. It’s like a beacon for this record.

“mirrorball”

“mirrorball” is, to me, a hazy sort of beautiful. It almost reminds me of ‘90s-era Cardigans, or something like Mazzy Star. It has this kind of glow and haze. It feels really good before “seven,” which becomes very wistful and nostalgic. There are just such iconic images in the lyrics [“Spinning in my highest heels”], which aren’t coming to me at the moment because my brain is not working [laughs].

HOW JACK ANTONOFF’S FOLKORE SONGS DIFFER FROM DESSNER’S

I think we have different styles, and we weren’t making them together or in the same room. We both could probably come closer together in a sense that weirdly works. It’s like an archipelago, and each song is an island, but it’s all related. Taylor obviously binds it all together. And I think Jack, if he was working with orchestrations, there’s an emotional quality to his songs that’s clearly in the same world as mine.

We actually didn’t have a moodboard for the album at all. I don’t think that way. I don’t really know if she does either. I don’t think Jack … well, Jack might, but when I say the Cardigans or Mazzy Star, those aren’t Jack’s words about “mirrorball,” it’s just what calls to mind for me. Mainly she talked about emotion and to lean into it, the nostalgia and wistfulness, and the kind of raw, meditative emotion that I often kind of inhabit that I think felt very much where her heart was. We didn’t shy away from that.

“seven”

This is the second song we wrote. It’s kind of looking back at childhood and those childhood feelings, recounting memories and memorializing them. It’s this beautiful folk song. It has one of the most important lines on the record: “And just like a folk song, our love will be passed on.” That’s what this album is doing. It’s passing down. It’s memorializing love, childhood, and memories. It’s a folkloric way of processing.

“august”

This is maybe the closest thing to a pop song. It gets loud. It has this shimmering summer haze to it. It’s kind of like coming out of “seven” where you have this image of her in the swing and she’s seven years old, and then in “august” I think it feels like fast-forwarding to now. That’s an interesting contrast. I think it’s just a breezy, sort of intoxicating feeling.

“this is me trying”

“this is me trying,” to me, relates to the entire album. Maybe I’m reading into it too much from my own perspective, but [I think of] the whole album as an exercise and working through these stories, whether personal or old through someone else’s perspective. It’s connecting a lot of things. But I love the feeling in it and the production that Jack did. It has this lazy swagger.

“illicit affairs”

This feels like one of the real folk songs on the record, a sharp-witted narrative folk song. It just shows her versatility and her power as a songwriter, the sharpness of her writing. It’s a great song.

“invisible string”

That was another one where it was music that I’d been playing for a couple of months and sort of humming along to her. It felt like one of the songs that pulls you along. Just playing it on one guitar, it has this emotional locomotion in it, a meditative finger-picking pattern that I really gravitate to. It’s played on this rubber bridge that my friend put on [the guitar] and it deadens the strings so that it sounds old. The core of it sounds like a folk song.

It’s also kind of a sneaky pop song, because of the beat that comes in. She knew that there was something coming because she said, “You know, I love this and I’m hearing something already.” And then she said, “This will change the story,” this beautiful and direct kind of recounting of a relationship in its origin.

“mad woman”

That might be the most scathing song on folklore. It has a darkness that I think is cathartic, sort of witch-hunting and gaslighting and maybe bullying. Sometimes you become the person people try to pin you into a corner to be, which is not really fair. But again, don’t quote me on that [laughs], I just have my own interpretation. It’s one of the biggest releases on the album to me. It has this very sharp tone to it, but sort of in gothic folklore. It’s this record’s goth song.

“epiphany”

For “epiphany,” she did have this idea of a beautiful drone, or a very cinematic sort of widescreen song, where it’s not a lot of accents but more like a sea to bathe in. A stillness, in a sense. I first made this crazy drone which starts the song, and it’s there the whole time. It’s lots of different instruments played and then slowed down and reversed. It created this giant stack of harmony, which is so giant that it was kind of hard to manage, sonically, but it was very beautiful to get lost in. And then I played the piano to it, and it almost felt classical or something, those suspended chords.

I think she just heard it, and instantly, this song came to her, which is really an important one. It’s partially the story of her grandfather, who was a soldier, and partially then a story about a nurse in modern times. I don’t know if this is how she did it, but to me, it’s like a nurse, doctor, or medical professional, where med school doesn’t fully prepare you for seeing someone pass away or just the difficult emotional things that you’ll encounter in your job. In the past, heroes were just soldiers. Now they’re also medical professionals. To me, that’s the underlying mission of the song. There are some things that you see that are hard to talk about. You can’t talk about it. You just bear witness to them. But there’s something else incredibly soothing and comforting about this song. To me, it’s this Icelandic kind of feel, almost classical. My brother did really beautiful orchestration of it.

“betty”

This one Taylor and William wrote, and then both Jack and I worked on it. We all kind of passed it around. This is the one where Taylor wanted a reference. She wanted it to have an early Bob Dylan, sort of a Freewheelin’ Bob DylanBob Dylan’s second LP, released in 1963, features some of his most stripped-down acoustic folk songs, with plenty of harmonica. To this day, its lyrics still cause debate. The album’s famous cover, shot in New York on Jones St., is one block away from Cornelia Street. feel. We pushed it a little more towards John Wesley Harding, since it has some drums. It’s this epic narrative folk song where it tells us a long story and connects back to “cardigan.” It starts to connect dots and I think it’s a beautifully written folk song.

Is ‘betty” queer canon?

I can’t speak to what it’s about. I have my own ideas. I also know where Taylor’s heart is, and I think that’s great anytime a song takes on greater meaning for anyone.

Is William Bowery secretly Joe Alwyn?

I don’t know. We’re close, but she won’t tell me that. I think it’s actually someone else, but it’s good to have some mysteries.

“peace”

I wrote this, and Justin provided the pulse. We trade ideas all the time and he made a folder, and there was a pulse in there that I wrote these basslines to. In the other parts of the composition, I did it to Justin’s pulse. Taylor heard this sketch and she wrote the song. It reminds me of Joni Mitchell, in a way — there’s this really powerful and emotional love song, even the impressionistic, almost jazz-like bridge, and she weaves it perfectly together. This is one of my favorites, for sure. But the truth is that the music, that way of playing with harmonized basslines, is something that probably comes a little bit from me being inspired by how Justin does that sometimes. There’s probably a connection there. We didn’t talk too much about it [laughs].

“hoax”

This is a big departure. I think she said to me, “Don’t try to give it any other space other than what feels natural to you.” If you leave me in a room with a piano, I might play something like this. I take a lot of comfort in this. I think I imagined her playing this and singing it. After writing all these songs, this one felt the most emotional and, in a way, the rawest. It is one of my favorites. There’s sadness, but it’s a kind of hopeful sadness. It’s a recognition that you take on the burden of your partners, your loved ones, and their ups and downs. That’s both “peace” and “hoax” to me. That’s part of how I feel about those songs because I think that’s life. There’s a reality, the gravity or an understanding of the human condition.

DOES TAYLOR EXPLAIN HER LYRICS?

She would always talk about it. The narrative is essential, and kind of what it’s all about. We’d always talk about that upfront and saying that would guide me with the music. But again, she is operating at many levels where there are connections between all of these songs, or many of them are interrelated in the characters that reappear. There are threads. I think that sometimes she would point it out entirely, but I would start to see these patterns. It’s cool when you see someone’s mind working.

“the lakes”

That’s a Jack song. It’s a beautiful kind of garden, or like you’re lost in a beautiful garden. There’s a kind of Greek poetry to it. Tragic poetry, I guess.

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#aaron dessner #the national #joe alwyn #article #folklore interview #folklore promo #folklore #quote #track by track

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thebulletproofbangtanboys · 5 years ago

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Caramel Macchiato (Taekook x Idol!Reader)

Summary: {Request} Can I request an angst Jungkook, Yoongi, or Taehyung scenario? As you performed with your group on stage, your boyfriend and other idols are watching in the audience, when all of the sudden you got shot, and the whole building begins to turn into the purest form of panic, terror, and fear, and you nearly die

Word Count: 7k

Genre: Fluff, Angst

Warnings: gun violence, shooting, blood, some strong language (like, two words), fighting between members, hospitals

It was the last concert of your group’s tour, and you all had decided to have it in your hometown of Seoul. You were the lead vocals for your group, HeavyStarter. HeavyStarter was a five-member, all-girl K-Pop group, the first under BigHit Entertainment.

BigHit was actually the place where you met your boyfriends. Yes. Boyfriends. Kim Taehyung and Jeon Jungkook. It surprised you, too, when you found out that the boys were in a relationship, but you were easily accepting of it seeing as how your childhood best friend turned out to be gay. You actual became really close friends with the boys and eventually fell in love with them. However, you knew that they could not possibly love you in that way. They were…well…gay. They astonished you by coming up to you one day after your group’s dance practice and asking you if you wanted to join their relationship. You, of course, accept their wonderous offer. That was two years ago.

Now, here you were, finally back in the same city as them after four months. You just couldn’t wait until you were done with this concert, so you could go home and snuggle with your boys. You missed them greatly, and you were sure that they missed you just as much. The past few weeks, the boys had been blowing up your phone asking you when you were coming home and how much they missed you and wanted you in their arms. With each message, your longing for home just grew and grew, and now you were finally here.

You were backstage getting your makeup done and hair styled when you looked at your phone for the billionth time that night. The boys had texted you earlier saying that they were going to come see you before your concert, but it was twenty minutes before curtain, and they still hadn’t arrived yet. You sighed before placing your phone on the vanity counter.

“I’m sure they’ll be here soon enough, (Y/N),” Hana, one of your idol members said, giving you a side glance as she couldn’t turn her head from the hair stylist.

“I hope so. I was really looking forward to seeing them before we went on stage,” you said.

“Maybe they just got caught up in dance practice or something. You know how it is.”

“Yeah,” you said solemnly.

Only your other members and the members of the boys’ group knew about the relationship. It definitely couldn’t be known to the public. Fans would be in outrage and the ranking and likeness of both groups would be in turmoil. Hell, no one even knew the boys were together except for the groups. Despite hearing about many fans who shipped the two together and would fawn over the idea of them actually being together, the boys had just decided to play it safe with it all.

Ten minutes had passed, and the boys still weren’t there. The lot of you were putting on your shoes, and disappointment sat heavily in your stomach. Brushing it off was a lot harder than you thought it would have been. You should be happy, relieved, anxious. It was your last concert of the tour after all. There was, however, a little glimmer of hope, imagining that they were just waiting for you in the crowd, ready to cheer you on. That was all you could think about as you walked down the long hallway to the side stage.

The five of you stopped right on the side and waited for the lights to go down so your group could go onto stage and get into position. This was when Hana walked up to you and gave your hand a squeeze. “They’ll be out there. They would have to be stupid to miss this.”

She was always the emotional supporter of the group. If anyone ever had any sort of worry or was sad, she was there to lift them up. Here she was, helping you out for the second time tonight. She was truly the only person who kept the entire group from falling into emotional shambles.

You smiled at her in thanks, and you saw the lights go out on the stage, signifying for the five of you to head on stage. As the lead vocals and main dancer, you put yourself in the middle. Once you all were in your stances, the lights came up, and the crowd went absolutely wild.

However, between the STARTER bombs and the spotlights, you really couldn’t see into the crowd, so you truly didn’t know if the boys were in the crowd or not. You finally decided to push them out of your head and focus on the night of dancing and singing before you.

It was about an hour later, and the concert was almost over. It was just a few more songs and your single, which was up next. You had just changed into your outfit for your solo: a white tee with the HeavyStarter’s logo across the front, a three-quarter-sleeve denim jacket, a black skirt that ended right above your knees, and a pair of black Converse high-tops. You were back on the stage within minutes, dancing and singing to your first solo that you had just released a month before the start of the tour.

Flits and flirts and struts and twists and turns. Your body could take every little bit of it, and you absolutely loved how your muscles burned from the exertion the dances gave. However, the feeling was short lived. Above the sounds of the music playing in your ear piece and the chant of the fans, you heard a loud bang. Milliseconds later, you felt a sharp pain and then a pressure in your left abdomen. You looked down at where you felt the pain, and all you could see was red.

Screams. They reverberated off the walls, but you could barely hear them.

Your hearing was going faster than you thought. It must be the shock.

You couldn’t see much of anything, either. Oh, wait. That’s the ceiling. I must have fallen from the impact.

Besides the initial pain, you couldn’t feel much. Your heart felt like it was pounding, and there was some ringing in your ears. In your peripheral vision, you could see your band members running up to you. They towered over you, and they spoke. What are they saying?

Your vision was becoming more and more blurry with each passing moment. You now felt heavy, and you just wanted to go to sleep. But I can’t go to sleep, can I? Whenever this happens to someone on a K-Drama, they always tell them to stay awake, to not fall asleep. But it’s so hard to stay awake. I just want to sleep. Please? Can I just sleep?

Light pressure was placed over where you had seen the red earlier. You tried focusing on the figure, but you couldn’t quite make it out. It almost looked like…Taehyung? So, you did come. But where is Jungkook? You tried turning your head, but it felt like it was full of cement. You tried lifting your left hand. You couldn’t feel yourself do it, but you apparently did. It was covered in red. Blood. Am I going to die?

No. I can’t die.

The boys. They need me, just like I need them.

I’m not ready to go, not just yet.

But it’s so hard to stay.

To stay awake.

I’m so tired.

I’m sorry.

Everyone.

Then, everything seemed to fade away to absolutely nothing.

Taehyung and Jungkook were on the way to your concert, the rest of BTS in tow. They were running late, and your boyfriends were clearly not happy about it.

“Look, we promised to meet (Y/N) before her concert, but now we aren’t going to be able to. She probably thinks we forgot about her all because SOMEONE HAD to get their coffee at an extremely busy Starbucks. But oooooooohhh. No, it was going to alright because we had PLENTY of time,” Taehyung mocked angrily, glaring at Jimin. “And now we’re stuck in traffic!” Taehyung huffed and hit his back up against the soft leather car seat, crossing his arms in frustration.

“Look!” Jimin almost shouted back. “I said I was sorry! What more do you want from me?”

“How about not make us late!”

“I sa-“

“Stop it before I turn this car around and none of us go to the concert!” Jin shouted from the driver’s seat, acting as the mother goose of the group yet again.

Both Taehyung and Jimin slinked into their seats, pouting. Taehyung looked over at Jungkook who just took his hand and gave it a light, reassuring squeeze. Jimin just slurped his iced caramel macchiato, receiving a glare from Taehyung.

“Why don’t we just text her, tell her we are running late and apologize,” Jungkook suggested.

Taehyung nodded and lifted himself up a little to grab his phone out from his back pocket. He clicked the “on/off” button, and the screen stayed black. Taehyung tried it again, and the screen still wouldn’t turn on. He then began to violently click the button as if it were going to turn it on.

“It’s dead,” Taehyung sighed before dropping it in his lap. “What about your phone?”

Jungkook patted his back pocket and then looked around the floor of the van for it.

“Crap. I left it in my bag back at the studio,” Jungkook groaned.

Taehyung groaned back in response and looked outside. “At least we are almost at the stadium.”

Sure enough, after a few more blocks and fifteen minutes of trying to find a parking spot, they were finally on their way into the building. All seven of them had their masks pulled up to help disguise themselves. The night was about you and your group, not them. They walked in, and they instantly had their tickets scanned, accessing their entry. There was not, however, any form of bag check or a metal detector which seemed odd to the boys, but once they saw the security guards spread throughout the area, they shrugged everything else off. They walked a little further down where they were met with a hallway with silver placards sticking out against double doors, almost like a movie theater.

Yoongi looked at the tickets in his hands and then looked at the placards lining the halls. “Just a little way down,” he said before taking the lead. The rest followed him to section J where their seats were located. They went through the double doors and walked down to where their seats were, which was just a few rows back from the front. It was close enough to see you, but far enough away to where they wouldn’t be caught on camera.

It wasn’t long after they took their seats when the lights went out, and a strong whisper fell over the crowd before it went completely silent. A few moments later, the lights came on, and you and your members stood on stage with you right smack in the middle. The crowd went absolutely wild at the sight of the five of you. Taehyung and Jungkook both felt their breathing hitch in their throats. You were so gorgeous to them. You looked gorgeous to them on any given day, but right now, you were at a whole new level, which neither of them could have ever thought possible.

However, it was when you had come back onto stage for your solo that the boys were on the edge of their seats. The other five boys smiled lightly at how infatuated the maknaes were by you. They could tell that they truly loved you, and they knew that you were one lucky girl. Well, lucky until a loud, metallic bang sounded off the walls, and you suddenly fell to the ground.

The crowd of fans screamed loudly as they saw their beloved idol fall into a heap on the stage. Pure terror filled the fans’ bodies, and their instincts told them to run. So, naturally, that’s what they did. The stadium was now in absolute panic as waves of people started trying to leave the stadium. People were shoved and pushed to the ground, many hit the sides of the chairs as they were shuffled around. No one knew exactly where the gunshot came from, they just knew that it had occurred in that room and as a result, needed to get out of said room.

While everyone was running out the doors, all of the members of BTS were running towards the stage, Jungkook and Taehyung being the fastest. Security guards tried stopping them, but there was no use. The pushed through and jumped onto the stage. Once they got onto the stage, all seven just stood there in shock for a moment. This was when the rest of your group came rushing out, along with backstage security guards.

A red stain on the left side of your once pristine white shirt was growing, and blood was pooling around you slowly but surely. Namjoon remembered reading somewhere about how when a person was shot, their body started directing more blood to the center of the body, trying to protect its most vital organs. However, in this case, it was just doing more damage. You were going to bleed out if something wasn’t done soon.

Apparently, Taehyung had read his mind and instantly took off his jacket, rushing over to you. He placed his jacket over your open wound, trying to stop the bleeding. Blood was quickly seeping through the fabric, staining his favorite jacket forever. It was an expensive Gucci jacket, but that could never compare to how much you were worth to Jungkook and Taehyung, to the rest of BTS, your group, your fans.

Jungkook started crying violently a few feet away, scared for your life. You were one of the loves of his life, and he couldn’t live without you. Now, here you were at your final concert of the tour, laying on the ground in a pool of your own blood. His heart physically hurt looking at you. He could feel his throat constricting, depriving him of his well needed oxygen. He bit his knuckle, trying to keep his sobs from being heard, but once Hoseok wrapped his arms around the youngest member, Jungkook could no longer hold them back.

Jin was off to the side, on the phone with first responders, and Namjoon was by Taehyung’s side, trying to tell him all that he could remember from past readings and checking you for your breathing. Medics now came onto the stage. They quickly thanked Namjoon and Taehyung for their help and took over taking care of you until better equipped professionals arrived. The rest of the HeavyStarters stayed back, watching the medics work on you and looking on at Taehyung and Namjoon with pity as they were covered in blood. Your blood.

“She’s still conscious!” one of the medics said loudly. Sure enough, you had moved your arm up sluggishly before dropping it back down to the ground. Jungkook choked out a sob, hearing the medic’s voice.

“That’s a good sign, right?” Jimin asked, finally making himself known amongst the crowd.

“Well, it means that if she has a concussion, we can keep an eye on her and there is a lesser chance of her slipping into a coma,” the other medic explained.

The first medic nudged the second one, and the second one moved his attention back to you.

“I don’t want to alarm them, but we’re losing her. She just lost consciousness. So much for that little ray of hope there,” the first medic whispered to the second.

The second medic instantly went to place to fingers on your carotid artery. “Pulse is thready.”

“Alright, we need to get control of the bleeding. She’s lost a lot of blood already, and I’m not sure how far out the ambulance is or even what the situation is out there. We could be on lockdown; the shooter could still be out there. We don’t know, so we need to do everything we can to keep this girl safe.”

Taehyung’s heroic adrenalin was now wearing off, and he was feeling his true emotions come through. Sadness. Anxiety. Anger. And the way both of the medics were talking in low voices got to him the most.

“Just tell us what’s wrong with her!” he yelled, trying to take off towards them, but Jin and Yoongi held him back, and a security guard stanced himself to take down Taehyung if the situation arose.

The medics looked at each other, and medic #1 looked over his shoulder at Taehyung. “She’s still breathing, but her pulse is weak. She’s lost a lot of blood.” He then turned to the security guard. “We aregoing to be able to get an ambulance here, right?”

The guard nodded. “I’ve already sent word out to the rest of us that one is on the way. There will always be a few guards near the ambulance and with the paramedics just in case. The rest are still out locating the shooter.”

The medics seemed to let out air they didn’t realize they were holding. They were trained for very basic medical procedures: applying band-aids, giving stitches, and splinting broken bones. They were not prepared, however for dealing with a shot idol who was bleeding out right in front of them with two idol groups, security guards, and more incoming music-related people watching them like hawks.

Thankfully, moments later, the real trained professionals came running in with a stretcher and several security guards. One of the paramedics quickly checked your vitals and gave the others a nod. They then carefully moved you onto the stretcher before rushing you out the building and into the rig. Taehyung and Jungkook tried getting in the back with you and the paramedics.

“No one allowed in,” one of the paramedics said sternly before taking the rig doors and closing them harshly. Within seconds, the ambulance was off, on its way to the hospital, leaving everyone else behind.

Taehyung felt his rage vibrate through his body once more, but now it was directed towards the security guards that stood a few yards away, watching carefully. Taehyung stomped over to one of the security guards and instantly tried to take a swing at the large, burly man. The security guard saw it coming and took a step back, missing Taehyung’s fist by mere inches. Once Taehyung’s fist was no longer an issue, the security guard tackled Taehyung to the ground. Taehyung tried to fight, but when he realized that it was useless, he stopped fighting.

“Why didn’t you stop them?! Why didn’t you stop (Y/N) from getting shot?!” he screamed in anguish. His heart felt heavy, and his lungs felt like they were filled with water. He couldn’t breathe, and it wasn’t because of the guard on top of him. Rather, it was from the weight of emotion that sat in him.

Once the guard realized that Taehyung was no longer of a danger to him, he got off of him. Taehyung just stayed on the ground, tears streaming out down his face which was contorted into a look of pain. He pounded his fist onto the ground once before rolling over, holding his now hurt hand in his other hand. Jungkook walked over to Taehyung, fresh tears now tracing the older tears stains on his cheeks. Jungkook knelt down and took Taehyung in his arms, holding him closely. Taehyung leaned into Jungkook and cried violently.

“Tae, she’s not dead yet, okay? She won’t die. She’s strong. Stronger than we know, okay? And we have to be strong for her. She needs us, and we can’t be there for her if we’re going around and breaking our hands and attacking security guards, can we?” Jungkook asked, lightly stroking Taehyung’s neon blue hair.

Taehyung shook his head no, still hiding his face in Jungkook’s chest. Jungkook lightly placed a finger under Taehyung’s chin, bringing his face up. “Everything is going to be okay,” Jungkook whispered with a slight choke. He leaned down and gave Taehyung a soft kiss on the lips.

“You seven,” Hana said, her voice slightly shaking. Everyone looked up at her. “Get on the tour bus. It’s the only thing that can kind of fit all of us, and I really think we all need each other right now. We all need to be there for her when she wakes up.”

Everyone started making their way to the tour bus that across the lot. Jungkook looked at Taehyung, and Taehyung nodded, signifying that he would be okay. Jungkook helped Taehyung up, and the two of them made their way to the bus, clinging on to each other for comfort and support.

The bus ride seemed like it was taking hours, days, weeks, months, years, forever. In reality, it was only a fifteen-minute ride. Everyone was on the edge of their seats with worry. The HeavyStarters worried because you were their best friend, a sister to them. You were also the leader of the group, and they needed their leader. The Bangtan boys were worried not only for your life, but if it were to end, how it would affect their two maknaes and how in return it would affect their own group. They were all a really close-knit family, the two groups, and you were the stitch that held them together.

When they finally got to the hospital, and the bus was parked, Jungkook and Taehyung were the first ones off of the bus. They practically ran to the doors of the emergency room. When the automatic doors didn’t open quite as quickly as they had liked, Jungkook took matters into his own hands and pried the doors open. They rushed up to the front desk in unison, almost pushing a man on crutches out of the way.

“Excuse me,” Jungkook said. “We need to find out where someone is.”

The lady at the front desk sat there with her eyes slightly widened and mouth agape in shock. After a few seconds, the situation finally processed in her brain, and she slightly shook her head. “Uh, yes. Who are you looking for?” she asked.

“(L/N) (Y/N),” Taehyung said, tapping his fingers on the counter and shifting his feet anxiously.

The woman gave a quick nod before stooping down in front of the computer, typing your name in.

“Ah. It looks like she is currently in surgery. I’ll have someone notify the surgeons that you are here. What is your relation to her?”

“We’re her sisters,” Hana said with the rest of the HeavyStarters with her.

Taehyung and Jungkook looked behind themselves and gave her weak smiles, thankful that they didn’t have to tell a stranger their relationship situation.

The lady behind the counter gave another simple nod before saying, “Once we have any new information, you’ll be updated. For the time being, have a seat in the waiting room over there. There are snack and drink machines right down the hall. In the meantime, sir, we can take a look at your hand and see if we can’t do something about it.”

“Thank you,” Hana said before walking up to Jungkook and placing a hand on his shoulder while Taehyung was led to an examination room.

After that, the wait was hours long. A grand total of five agonizing hours with no update on your wellbeing at all. A TV in the waiting room was on the news, broadcasting what had just happened at your concert. The moment one of the nurses heard the television, they quickly changed the channel, knowing that your “family” was sitting there in the waiting room. Taehyung, now wearing a jacket of his that you had taken from him and brought on the tour with you, and Jungkook sat closely together, linking their hands through the front pockets of their hoodies. Jungkook’s head rested on Taehyung’s shoulder. All eleven of them had finally calmed down into a mellow, numb state. That feeling quickly ended, though, when your name was called out, and every one of them stood up.

A surgeon clad in dark blue scrubs walked up to the large group. He looked worn out, like he had seen a million lifetimes worth of trauma and death.

“How is she?” Hana asked, speaking what was on everyone else’s mind.

The doctor let out a breath before relaying the injuries to the group. “I’m Dr. Han. Well,” he started, “When she came in, she had lost about four pints of blood. Any more blood loss, and I’m not sure there would have been anything we could have done. However, we were able to get some blood into her, which helped quite a bit. The bullet made its way fully through her. Thankfully, it missed her spinal column, but only by mere centimeters. We did have to resect some of her small intestine due to the wound and some fragmented pieces of the bullet.” What the doctor had not told them was that they had to resuscitate her several times due to the initial blood loss. He noticed the anxious looks on all eleven faces. “She is recovering in the ICU right now. Hopefully, if she is doing well in her recovery process, we can move her upstairs in about a few days.”

“Can we see her?” Jungkook asked meekly.

The doctor nodded. “Just follow me.”

The group followed closely behind Dr. Han. Anxiety flowed through all of their veins like sugar after a bake sale. The clicks and squeaks of the group’s various kinds of shoes echoed off of the whitewashed walls. The hallway seemed longer than it really was. It seemed like everything tonight was in slow motion. It was as if time in itself was made of molasses.

When they finally came up to your room, they all stopped outside of the glass. On the other side, you were laying in your bed, peacefully like a porcelain doll it seemed, despite all the many tubes and IVs that connected you to various monitors. The air in everyone’s lungs seemed to leave as they saw you in such a state. Less than six hours ago, you were on stage dancing, smiling, having the time of your life. Now, your life was still hanging in the balance, teetering on the thin line between life and death.

“When will she wake up?” Jin asked Dr. Han.

“It’s honestly hard to say. Most people after sustaining a traumatic injury such a bullet wound generally wake up anywhere from a few hours to a few days. However, in her case…” His voice began to trail off.

“She may never wake up,” Jungkook finished, gripping his hands slightly, his voice cracking a little.

“Jungkook,” Jimin started.

“No!” Jungkook shouted, losing his cool for the first time that night. “If we hadn’t stopped to get your stupid coffee, we would have been able to see her before the concert! We would have been able to wish her good luck! We would have been able to hear her say ‘I love you’ one last time, but no! You had to have your goddamn cup of coffee!” Tears were streaming down his face once more, and his fists were balled up tightly. His fingernails were digging painfully into the palms of his hands.

Taehyung placed his good hand on Jungkook’s shoulder as if to calm him. Jungkook just shoved it off and turned around slightly to face his boyfriend. “Stop, Tae. No. You said it yourself earlier! If Jimin hadn’t begged to stop at fucking Starbucks for some unnecessary drink, we would have been able to see her!”

Taehyung’s face dropped as he realized the truth in Jungkook’s words. Jungkook was right in a way, but at the same time… “I know, Kook, but how was he supposed to know? He couldn’t have known that she was going to get shot! Besides, how is arguing going to help (Y/N)?! It’s not! So, you can either come visit (Y/N) with me or you can go somewhere else and go cool down.”

Jungkook looked at Taehyung in light shock. Never had Taehyung ever talked to him in that way before, and he never thought he would here him use that tone of voice with him. Jungkook sighed and gave Jimin a dark glare before walking past everyone to go into your room. Taehyung watched as Jungkook stormed into the room and plopped down into a chair harshly. After Taehyung saw Jungkook grab onto your hand sorrowfully, he turned back to the rest of the group.

“I hate to ask this, guys, but I was wondering if Jungkook and I could spend some time with (Y/N) alone?” he asked. Everyone looked at each other and gave him a nod. “Thanks. And, Jimin?”

“Hm?”

“It isn’t your fault. We were just a little anxious and upset, Jungkook especially. Please, don’t take this personally. We really are sorry. It just may take Jungkook a little while to see that.”

“Yeah,” Jimin said, giving a half-genuine smile. Deep down inside, Jimin really did feel like this was his fault, but he wasn’t going to let that show. He walked off with the rest of the group, leaving Taehyung and Jungkook alone with you, as the doctor had already left to go check on some other patients.

Taehyung walked into the hospital room. To him, it smelled like death. The air had that dark thickness to it that could be associated with death. It was as if the Grim Reaper himself was standing in the room, ready to bring his scythe down upon you and take you to the Underworld. Taehyung shrugged off the feeling and grabbed a chair out of the corner of the room and moved it over next to where Jungkook was sitting. He placed his hand over Jungkook’s which was holding your hand.

The two of them sat in silence until Taehyung broke it.

“It makes me cry every day,” Taehyung began to softly sing.

“It makes me think of you,” Jungkook joined in perfectly with Taehyung.

“Because it sounds like our story,” the both continued. “No matter how hard I try to cover my ears, it spins around me.”

The two of them sang the song that made you fall in love with them. Taehyung remembered the day like it was yesterday. You had come over to the dorms to hang out with them, and the lot of you got bored, so he and Jungkook started singing “A Daily Song” by Hwang Chi Yeul together. When they saw how much you liked them singing that particular song, they started singing it for you every time you got sick or were just having a really bad day, even if you were on tour.

Several weeks had passed, and you still had not woken up. Doctors now held less hope than they did before as far as your waking went. Even the HeavyStarters started coming less and less and started practicing songs and choreos without you even having a place in them. BTS backed off, too, only coming every so often to comfort Jungkook and Taehyung since they had never really gotten overly close to you to begin with.

However, Jungkook and Taehyung never stopped losing hope. They still sat by your side each and every day for hours on end, telling you how their day went or what Namjoon had destroyed lately. And every day, they would sing you “A Daily Song.” They never gave up hope, not even in the slightest despite all of the doctors’ words.

All of this had become the new norm. So, here they were singing your song again. They never got tired of it, not when there was even the slightest chance that you could hear them. Once they ended the song, both Jungkook and Taehyung each took one of your hands in their own.

“(Y/N),” Taehyung started out. “If there is any way you can hear us, please know that we love you. Jungkook and I are here for you. We are here for you through all of this. We will never, ever stop loving you, (Y/N). When we asked you to join our relationship, we did it not because we thought it would be fun to have you around more often, I mean, we did, but that’s beside the point. We asked you because we loved you…Love you.”

Taehyung placed his head on the bed, right next to your side, the tip of your fingers brushing the end of his nose. He closed his eyes and felt a tear slip out of his eye and onto the bed. He lightly brushed his thumb over your knuckles.

“Tae,” he heard from Jungkook a few moments later.

Taehyung sat up, looking at Jungkook with confused eyes. Jungkook looked over at you, and Taehyung’s eyes followed.

Everything was so dark, like you were in a swimming pool filled with black water. Everything was also so heavy as if cement blocks had been chained to your ankles and wrists. You were being dragged down to the deepest depths of the pool. The further down you went, the harder it became to breathe, until you finally became still. You could breathe again, but your vision was still impaired. Then, you began hearing things. Voices. You couldn’t quite make out what they were saying, but they were certainly there. The voices would come and go. Sometimes, they would talk, and sometimes, they sounded like a song. Yet, like every time before, you couldn’t understand a single word. That was what the pool of death felt like. All senses construed, failing. You were in a constant state of in-between sleep. Aware of outside resources, but not fully understanding. Eternity went by, and this was how it was every single moment.

That was until at one point in time, you saw a little speck of something off in the distance. You didn’t know what it was, and you weren’t sure you wanted to. You had remembered the cliché stories of people going to the light as they died and ascended into Heaven. But, you weren’t ready to die. You had made yourself clear. You were going to live, no matter what happened. You were going to make it out of this. However, every time you looked at the fleck in the in the distance, it seemed to have gotten just a little bit closer. And every time the fleck got closer, the pool got just a little bit brighter, the blocks a little bit lighter, and the voices a little bit clearer.

When the fleck was still in the distance, but now the size of a basketball, you could tell who the voices belonged to: your boyfriends. Every so often, you could hear the other BTS members and even your group and then some unfamiliar voices. You still couldn’t hear what they were saying, but you were no longer scared of this little fleck. You wanted to go towards it, to go through it, and see what was on the other side.

You never really made any effort to get through to the other side, though. You still had your doubts. What if it was your own personalized Heaven with all the people you loved and held closely to your heart? Then, you had the nagging thought in the back of your head: if this is my own Heaven, then why are there voices I don’t recognize? This just made you curious, and now you just had to find out what was on the other side.

You first tried moving your arms, but it was like moving through gelatin. It was difficult but possible. It was a slow process, and it tired you out easily. Your persistence and determination kept you going, though. If there was any chance that Taehyung and Jungkook were on the other side, you were going to get there. You pushed and pushed and pushed until your finally reached the fleck. It was no longer a tiny little fleck in the distance, though. It was now like a doorway with light streaming through the open door. You expected it to blind you, but it didn’t. It was a nice, warm glow that radiated kindness and love.

The voices on the other side were clear now. What was being said by these voices brought tears to your eyes. It was more singing than it was talking. You instantly recognized the song: “A Daily Song.” It was your little trio’s song. You stood there, not making any more advances into the light. You stayed there, listening to the beautiful song being sung by two beautiful men. The song eventually ended and talking replaced the melody. It was Taehyung.

“(Y/N), there is any way you can hear us, please know that we love you. Jungkook and I are here for you. We are here for you through all of this. We will never, ever stop loving you, (Y/N). When we asked you to join our relationship, we did it not because we thought it would be fun to have you around more often, I mean, we did, but that’s beside the point. We asked you because we loved you…Love you,” he said.

Making your way through the light just became that much more important. You stepped through the bright doorway. Suddenly, everything was clear again. Your hearing was perfect. You could feel someone holding both of your hands, the softness of the blankets on your bed even though they were far too thin to keep someone comfortably warm, and the way your hair tickled the side of your face.

You gave the hand on your right a light squeeze and tried opening your eyelids. One thing that had not changed from the pool to now was the weight of everything. Your eyelids felt like they weighed a thousand pounds. You mustered up all your strength and finally got them open. It took a moment, but your eyes adjusted to the new fluorescent light. You now could see clearly.

“Tae,” you heard from your right.

That was when you started choking on the respirator tube that had been put down your throat to control your breathing while you were unconscious and healing.

“Nurse! Doctor! Somebody!” Taehyung shouted, looking at you helplessly.

Seconds later, a nurse ran into the room, maneuvering in front of Taehyung. She placed a hand on your shoulder. “I know, (Y/N). We’ll get this out of you. Just stay calm for me, okay?” You tried evening your breathing, but with the respirator tube still in your throat, staying calm was an exceedingly demanding thing to do. To your benefit, moments later, the tube was out of your throat. You coughed a few times before gasping for breath.

Once you were finally able to get your breathing under control, you looked to your left and right, seeing your boyfriends on either side of you. You knew you could always count on them to be by your side, quite literally in this case.

“You came back,” Jungkook whispered, placing your hand up to his cheek.

“Of course,” you said hoarsely. “It was the music that my beautiful boys sang that brought me back.”

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waternilly · 4 years ago

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The End of an Era

Ship: Blackleg Sanji x f!OC Language: english Word count: 1.5k Warnings: none Ao3 link: here | Wattpad link: here Summary: Musicals! But what if this time the rivals were lovers in real life?

Many weeks and hours of hard work had come to their end. Tonight was the big finale of the musical Florence had built with both old and new friends over the semester. It hadn’t gone without troubles, but they had made it in the end.

As she waited between the wings on the side of the stage, the young woman let her mind drift off.

She thought back about the moment Mozart l’Opéra Rock had been announced as this year’s project. How all the students who would graduate in June shared the same excitement and thrill at the prospect.

She remembered the audition and how learning the lyrics to “Si Je Défaille” had been easy, being engraved in her memory ever since she was ten. She also remembered when she had to show up at the next audition to sing “Tatoue-Moi” on demand of her professor.

Florence had already performed as a male character in a previous project and she knew the professor’s demand was far from innocent. They had something in mind.

And she was right. The next week, once auditions for both singers, actors and dancers alike were over, the results were published.

1. Florence Moire ..... Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

A smile had crept on her face instantly. But what made her even happier was the name just two lines under hers.

3. Sanji Vinsmoke ..... Antonio Salieri

Not only would she perform as the main character of what was probably her favourite musical. The one to act as her rival was her own boyfriend.

Images of her sweet Sanji in black hair and eyeshadow had immediately crossed her mind and she couldn’t wait to see it happen.

That evening, the entire crew had gone to a local student pub and celebrated all night long. Florence lost count of how many times she got congratulated or all the teasing her and Sanji had gotten for acting out rivals.

It was one of Flo’s favourite memories. Everything felt right. No pressure or stress related to the production, school or the internship yet. Only pleasure, joy, excitement.

Rehearsals had started the same week, beginning with a script reading. Songs from the original musical were played whenever they were reached throughout the session. A few voice cracks and poorly acted sentences were uttered, but they were laughed off.

Florence and all the singers then went through some coaching first. Even though they were all decent already, they were still merely amateurs. Some had gotten such lessons the previous years, but everyone welcomed the tips from the teacher with open arms.

While those were reaching their end, they simultaneously started rehearsing with the actors. Their friends had already started learning their lines and now it was time for them to do as well.

To help with that process, Florence would often play the entire musical as background noise while studying or working on anything, to Sanji’s greatest amusement.

He early on realized that the one he tenderly referred to as ‘princess’ was nervous about the pressure put upon her shoulders. He often reminded her that the professor wouldn’t have given her the part if they didn’t believe her to be capable of it. He also loved to add that she would make for a great Mozart and an amazing rival, which would often help her calm down, at least temporarily.

As the dates approached and the rehearsals became longer -every song being performed in their entirety, accompanied by the dancers- the pressure among the whole crew rose. People started worrying about costumes or set pieces not being finished on time, about black outs on stage, about wigs falling off or ladies tripping over their massive dresses.

All of these faded shortly after luckily and everything was done in due time. The final rehearsal in full costume and make up also reassured everyone about what they had created. Which meant, representations could start. But not without some last minute preparations.

Bonney was left with her bright pink hair despite the professor’s reclamations who feared she would steal the show. The young woman’s determination was stronger however and she refused to incline, making her the very first pink haired Constanz Weber.

Luffy, who interpreted everyone’s favourite comic relief, Rosenberg, got his hair coloured grey with sprays often used for Halloween. It was slicked back and his face was painted bright white with two outrageously red spots on the cheeks. All of it, topped off with pencil-drawn eyebrows and two fake moles.

Sanji agreed to changing his style for the occasion. He got his hair dyed in a dark brown and slicked it all back except for one rebellious lock. Needless to say he was a sight for sore eyes like this. But every evening, before the representation, the benevolent make up artists who were fellow students painted his eyes with black eyeshadow, crayon and eyeliner. Black lipstick had also been considered at some point but was eventually discarded. And aside from all of that, he also walked around with black painted nails for a week.

As for Florence, the main thing she had to do was get a haircut. Her pixie hair had grown out during the semester and it required some touch ups. She was the one who had the wildest, most natural hairdo. It only got comped and sprayed to create some extra volume, but nothing too perfect. Her eyes got the same treatment as her lover’s however, which they liked to point out.

And then it was time.

The premiere.

Everyone was nervous to their core while simultaneously trying to help their friends calm down. Singers and actors alike reunited back stage to warm up their voices, a loud buzzing sound filling the room. Dancers took that opportunity to stretch and prepare as well. The entire crew was in its own bubble, in symbiosis with each other. Any conflicts that might have existed before were forgotten for now.

“Are you nervous, my love?” Sanji had asked his girlfriend just before she had to walk on stage.

“Yes,” she admitted.

With a smile, he had said: “You’ll feel better once you’re up there.”

She thanked him with a smile.

“Maybe turn on your microphone before it’s too late though,” he had teased.

Florence agreed, flipped the switch and ran up on stage. Sanji had been right. Merely seconds later, as she was uttering her very first line, she was calm, confident, poised. Every movement, every sentence flowed naturally. She felt good, at home.

To everyone’s surprise, nothing went wrong during the entire first act, which their professor naturally pointed out backstage during the break. They also complimented everyone’s acting, singing and dancing, clearly ecstatic with the result.

Flo knew what would come next. Someone started playing music while another person shouted to turn off the lights. Everyone jumped around and loudly shouted in unison with the music. A few even climbed on the table in the middle of the room to dance on it in a silly way, making the whole crew laugh.

That little tradition remained during the entire week of run, lasting the entire entre act every time. A twenty minute break of partying halfway through the musical.

Except it was now time to walk back on stage for the last time.

A loud ominous music played and Florence stepped into the light.

She gave everything she had in her, jumping and running around on stage.

Sanji then walked up himself, followed by Bonney who gave her best vocal performance yet.

Before long though, they reached the end of the musical and with it, the famous “Vivre à en Crever” scene. The only time Flo got to sing with her boyfriend throughout the entire performance.

She started, careful to keep a steady and clear voice. Then Sanji joined in. And ultimately, they sang together.

It was always one of the most poignant parts of the show and Florence had lost count of how many times she had almost kissed Sanji during it, never giving in however. Until now, whoever didn’t know them personally couldn’t have guessed they were a couple.

But that was about to change as it was time to salute and Florence had an idea in mind.

Once everyone had bowed in their usual position, they all started singing the most famous song of the musical -”Tatoue moi”- to celebrate the final representation. Florence took advantage of the context to ask Bonney to switch places with her since she was traditionally between her and Sanji. Florence wondered if the audience would react and how if they were to. By now, majority of the public wasn’t even from their college.

She started by just tangling their fingers but soon enough they were smiling at each other while singing eye to eye. When they reached the end of the song, Florence stood on the tip of her toes and pecked Sanji’s lips. He only grinned down at her before kissing her back.

Audible gasps, soon followed by extra cheers, could be heard throughout the audience. The public’s reaction was even better than what Flo was hoping for. She imagined the surprise it could be to see two people you pictured as rivals during the past two hours suddenly kiss. It amused her as well.

It might have been her last performance with this great crew of people but Florence had no reason to be sad. They had all gone out with a bang; Ace, Kid, Bonney, Sanji, herself. That night wouldn’t be one of mourning the end of an era. It would be a night to celebrate what they had achieved.

A/N: Bit of a cheesy ending yes, but oh well ^^” Please let me know what you thought of it, I haven’t written 3rd person fanfics in English in literally so long! Also, yeah, OC! Long time since I last wrote one. Any comments are welcome ^^ Thank you very much for reading <3

#one piece #one piece x oc #one piece scenario #one piece imagine #sanji #blackleg sanji #sanji x oc #blackleg sanji scenario #sanji scenario #nille writes #english #mor #mozart l'opera rock #mozart l'opéra rock

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peace-coast-island · 5 years ago

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Diary of a Junebug

Having a reel great time

It’s Fishing Tourney time! I’ve been on a lucky streak lately with doubles - which is saying a lot since I tend to lag behind on these events for some reason. Maybe it’s the good company or the decor or the nice weather. Whatever it is, I probably shouldn’t question it or else my good luck would go away.

Joining us on this fun event are the Allegris - Chris, Elaina, David, Jeremy, Danny, and Angie! Us grown ups are out here doing are own thing while the kids (okay, aside from Angie the rest aren’t really kids anymore so basically it’s the 22 and under club) have broken off into different groups.

Life in the Allegri household is basically like straight out of a sitcom. I’ve been following David’s channel this past year and his weekly family vlogs are entertaining af. From David dragging Elaina into one of his crazy schemes, Danny and Angie getting into a mess, Jeremy being pretty much done with everyone and Chris being either totally functional or a total disaster (there is no in between) - I would definitely sit down and watch several seasons of the Allegris just be themselves.

Also, a few of David’s vlogs have become memes or gone viral. One was where he challenged Elaina and Chris to make a cake without using measurements (dad vs. aunt Baking challenge) - Elaina somewhat succeeded, Chris, not so much. Another one is titled “the kids areeee fightingggggg!!!” where everyone goes stir crazy while being snowed in. And recently, “they did what?!” in which Elaina accidentally got Jeremy and Danny fired, Angie misplaced a neighbor’s dog, and Grandpa ruined Chris’s week by revealing a shocking truth.

They’re all such a mess but that’s why I love them. Chris and Elaina are peak disasters - Chris being the perfect example of head full, thoughts empty and Elaina being chaotic all the way. But in all honesty, they’re doing their best and they’re all around good people. The two bicker a lot but they’re super close and have always got each other’s backs.

It was Elaina’s idea for the family to drop by the campsite for a short vacay. We started planning this back when I came to her mom’s concert and saw the singing roses. I suggested either a gyroid event or a fishing tourney since they enjoy the great outdoors.

The main reason why Elaina wanted a get together is for her brother. With David graduating college and Jeremy and Danny graduating high school - as well as David moving out and Jeremy going abroad for college - to say that Chris is experiencing empty nest syndrome is a bit of an understatement.

Although he’s been putting on a brave face, Chris is going through a bit of a rough patch. According to Elaina, Allegri men aren’t the best at dealing with their feelings. Her dad means well but telling Chris to toughen up and don’t think too hard about stuff you can’t control isn’t the best advice to give someone who always feels like they have to keep it together. As much as Elaina loves her dad, she can’t help but be annoyed by him at times for being so out of touch - especially since he wasn’t around most of the time when they were growing up.

On top of feeling like his boys are drifting away, Chris is also buckling under the pressure of being a single parent. Even with his sister and now dad helping out, he’s still on his own. It’s not easy being a part time airline pilot and a full time dad but he does pull it off - one of the many reasons why Elaina admires her big brother. That’s why it hurts her to see that her brother has been constantly second guessing himself, worrying that he’s not there enough for the boys.

Elaina’s the opposite of her brother as she’s more vocal and open about pretty much everything. She’s also a counselor so she knows how to read people well - sometimes to the point where she pokes her head into other people’s businesses. Though she tends to get in over her head while trying to help someone, you can’t help but admire the effort. Sure she drives her family up the wall sometimes by trying to get them to talk out their problems but if she didn’t, then they wouldn’t be the loving close knit family they are right now.

In a way, she feels kinda responsible for contributing to her brother’s stress. Being the younger sibling, Elaina tends to get away with more - meaning she’s not always expected to be the bigger person. If Chris is busy taking care of his boys, his sister, and his niece, then who’s got his back? Sure, he’s got his mom he doesn’t want to worry her and as for his dad, he’s not the kind of parent you can turn to for advice.

Before, he had Melyssa, but she’s gone now. Unlike his parents and his sister, he’s not divorced so that’s another reason why he feels like he’s on his own. Even after five years, the grief of losing his wife still hurts. Although he has been dating on and off, his relationships didn’t last long as his heart still belonged to Melyssa - something his dad just doesn’t understand.

A couple weeks before, his dad tried to set him up on a date that ended disastrously and Chris later vented to Elaina that he was fed up with being fixed up. Considering that their dad went through four marriages - last one ending a couple months ago - Chris and Elaina don’t exactly trust him on anything in terms of relationships. Not that they were asking anyway but he still insists on butting his head into their business whether they like it or not.

As for Elaina, after being screwed over twice, she’s given up on the idea of finding “the one.” She married once and regretted it - toxic masculinity and a fragile ego are two big dealbreakers, both traits which defined her ex. A few years later she dated this other guy who got her pregnant with Angie and then ditched her because he didn’t want to be tied down. Although she’s been dating other people since then, Elaina can’t see herself commit to a long term relationship. And right now, she’s happily single - another thing which is hard for her dad to understand.

Aside from getting away from the old man, Elaina wanted to plan a family day so Chris and the boys can catch up on some much needed quality time together. With the boys being so busy because of graduations, moving out, college prep, etc., they could all use a break - especially Chris, who’s been spreading himself kinda thin because of all of this. It’s also good for Angie as she’s pretty bummed out that David and Jeremy won’t be around as often. At least Danny will still be home, though Chris is concerned that he doesn’t really have any future prospects in mind.

Fishing tourneys are a lot more fun with good company. Plus you catch a lot more fish as a group so that’s a nice bonus. Chris was the real MVP, not only he caught a lot of doubles, he got a bunch of rare fish too. Even David and Danny, both who aren’t big on fishing, caught some winners too. At one point Angie fished out a jar that Sherb had misplaced this morning and got a nice reward in return.

While waiting for the next round of fish to show up, I gave them a tour of the camp and from there everyone did their own thing. Jeremy and Lloid were in the garden cross breeding plants. Danny hung around for a bit before getting bored and heading off to the main campsite. David, Butch, Cheri, Kid Cat, and Audie went swimming at Lost Lure Creek. Angie, Goldie, and Cyd went picking fruit at Breezy Hollow so they can make dessert later in the day. Then there was me, Elaina, and Chris hiking around and occasionally checking in on everyone.

Aside from a slight mishap with a pitfall seed (sorry Chris!), the hike went smoothly. Elaina was right, they needed this trip. I can tell that as the day went on, everyone looked more relaxed and at ease. Also, it was nice to see Chris and Elaina kick back and not worry too much about life stuff. Sometimes you just need to step back and take a break.

While lying down in the grass, Chris suggested that we make up stories based on the shapes of the clouds - a game he and Elaina often played as kids. So we did that for a while, which was fun. He wasn’t exaggerating when he said Elaina has a wild imagination - the stories she comes up with are wildly outrageous but also make sense on a deep level, like galaxy brain level stuff.

Then it was back to Saltwater Shores for the next round of the tourney. I swear, I think Chris is a good luck charm or something because we’ve got a pretty good haul! If we keep this up tomorrow, I won’t have to use a net to catch up later on. It was also nice seeing Chris and the boys having fun together as well as Elaina and Angie catching up on some much needed mother and daughter time.

For dinner, we set up a bonfire at the campsite. Goldie led a sing along which was super fun! After hearing her and Chris sing at their mom’s concert, I couldn’t let them pass up the opportunity to show off their musical chops. Their kids are also great singers as well, which shouldn’t be too surprising considering how musical talent runs in the family. The highlight of the night was Elaina, David, and Angie performing various musical numbers. What started out as a sing along turned into an impromptu Concert Under the Stars!

Before we knew it, midnight had come and gone. Now it’s past 1 and although I’m physically tired, my mind’s still wide awake. Though now I’m starting to nod off a bit so I’d better wrap up soon as we’ve got another busy day ahead.

#animal crossing #animal crossing pocket camp #Diary of a Junebug #headcanon ramble

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jamiefairfaxisntcool · 5 years ago

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/mu/core album review | Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

/mu/core album review #1

this week on /mu/core album review, we look at:

Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

Ah yes, In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. The album that’s mostly known as either, “that one weird album from the 90s,” or, “/mu/ basic bitch meme music.” If you’re anywhere past a casual music fan, you have most-likely heard some songs off this project, if not the whole thing, doubly so if you’re into 90s culture, Indie, or any sort of Art-Rock or Folk movements. As I type this, the most popular YouTube rip of the album has about 4.3 million views, a playlist separating each track stands at 500,000 views, and the title track has a remarkable 40,733,956 plays on Spotify. Holy shit, to put that into perspective: AV Club writes that, “In The Aeroplane Over The Sea was originally slated to sell about 7,000 copies,” that’s roughly 5,819 times the predicted sales numbers of the album on just that song. This also means that this song has been listened to for approximately 131,163,338 minutes, a total of around 131,163,299 more minutes than the actual album length. Humanity has spent a collective 249 years listening to In the Aeroplane Over the Sea. Oh, and that’s just the title track.

If I couldn’t spell it out so clearly there, this album is fucking outrageously popular.

Even if you haven’t heard any material off the LP, this album is memed pretty heavily in the music corners of the internet. I don’t think I can find a single music meme page or forum that hasn’t jumped upon the ITAOTS or NMH bandwagon.

At this current point in time, ITAOTS has became a permanent resident in the zeitgeist of internet music culture. NMH, and by extension, it’s creator, Jeff Mangum have been elevated to a cult of personality status. The band and this project are accompanied by a never-ending choir: 15-25 year old sad white boys who cry while sing-screeching about semen and Anne Frank and poorly play open chords on their detuned Ibanez acoustics.

It’s oddly beautiful.

The album is so deceptively simple, so creatively cryptic and has all the elements of a slog faux-folk fest filled with whining that would bore me to so many tears that they could rival the sad boy indie kids who lose their e-girls to their more socially active explore-page bait counterparts. To a person not familiar with it, ITAOTS could look like an over hyped, masturbatory depression tape. It looks boring. It looks like it should be boring.

If it should be boring, then why have I only listened to it and absolutely nothing else for the last two days?

This isn’t a joke, I revisited the album of course to refresh myself before sitting down and writing this review. I kept listening, over the course of a school day, in-between production and songwriting sets, while playing games, and as I write this, I just finished my eighth spin of the record. Before those last two days, I had only listened to the album probably twice.

I remember listening to it back in seventh grade and not particularly disliking it. I was really into Yes and a lot of other Prog and Psych bands, but I wasn’t particularly impressed with the almost yuppie voice that Jeff had used on the record compared to vocal beasts like Freddie Mercury, Bowie, and Jon Anderson. Later on, I listened in freshman year, and I appreciated it much more, and had a few songs come up in my shuffle play, but thought nothing much of it.

Now, war had changed.

part 1: i’m the fucking carrot king

As I plopped down in my computer chair, my window crackled and banged like a distant firecracker with the smack of heavy rains on a Summer afternoon. I placed my headphones firmly atop my ears, closed my eyes and leaned back in my chair. I heard the opening chords of The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1 and tried not just to hear the instrumentation, but also pay attention to the lyrical content of Mr. Mangum.

When you were young, you were the king of carrot flowers And how you built a tower tumbling through the trees In holy rattlesnakes that fell all around your feet

Okay, so what the fuck is actually happening here?

Upon my listens, I inferred that Jeff is speaking to another party here, most likely a female love interest, in what seemingly starts in a nostalgic tone. This sounds almost like a picturesque, coming-of-age, Americana film. Maybe one starring Molly Ringwald and River Phoenix, with a surprise cameo from someone famous back then like Jack Nicholson. Maybe John Candy, with a John Hughes script. Everything would have those faded out, classic colors, a hearkened back era. Quickly, by halfway through the first act, the tone shifts. A darker mood, a stark, grim reminder that life wasn’t always sunny and shinning in Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood.

And your mom would stick a fork right into daddy's shoulder And dad would throw the garbage all across the floor As we would lay and learn what each other's bodies were for

The Mang informs us of a horrific family life, specifically about what seems to be his dad’s, stepmom’s, and stepsister’s interpersonal relationships. The lines are obvious and straightforward, the life of our protagonist was rife with unhealthy familial and sexual relationships, and a sense of love and sweetness was not found there. Keep that in mind when thinking about later songs such as Oh Comely.

After the somber intro of Carrot Flowers Pt. 1, we reach my personal least favorite track on the album: The King of Carrot Flowers Pt. 2 and 3.

Look, I know the meme. “I LOOOOOOOOOVE JESUUUS CHUHRIEEEIISSSSTT,” and all that shit. I’m not even worked up about that line in particular, I just dislike Pt. 3. It’s the weakest of the upbeat songs on the album, with the weird yodel-screech voice that Gumman performs with really takes me out of the experience, which sucks because the buildup and atmosphere of Pt. 2 felt pretty amazing. Luckily, Pt. 3 is fairly short, so we don’t have to worry about it too much.

part 2: earth angel’s thesis

The title track for this album is one of the best songs on this album, no fucking contest. In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, Oh Comely, The Fool, and Two-Headed Boy Pt. 2 are top contenders when discussing this album. If you like the faster, fuzzier, upbeat songs you could probably substitute The Fool for Holland, 1945.

The title track has a familiar sounding chord progression and we can hear Gum from Jet Set Radio’s saccharine but yelp-y voice belt out from atop the mountains his undying love and admiration for... Anne Frank?

What a beautiful face I have found in this place That is circling all round the sun What a beautiful dream That could flash on the screen In a blink of an eye and be gone from me

In the first verse, Geoff mentions meeting or viewing a beautiful person on this fleeting rock circling round the Sun. He also matches this with the idea that it’s truly futile for him to chase after this beauty, as it is only a dream that could escape him when he awakes. El Jefé has actually mentioned that some of his surrealist lyrics are derived from dreams. Perhaps these lines could imply a more literal dream fading? I don’t exactly know, all I know is what I interpreted.

The instrumentation of this piece is nothing straying from NMH’s usual repertoire: Mandrake on Guitar and Vocals, Scott Spillane on the Horns, Robert Schneider on Bass and Production, Julian Koster playing... something. What is he playing? Wait, give me a second.

He’s playing the Singing Saw? I thought it was like, a Theremin. What the fuck is a Singing Saw?

Oh.

Okay sure, you can play that, however the fuck you do that.

And finally we have Jeremy Barnes on Drums.

The personnel handle the music with a light, bouncy feeling, and the tone and timbre remind me of a faded, old, seaside town on the east coast. Another thing to mention is that the chord progression is G-Em-C-D; I-vi-IV-V. A funny thing I noticed is that this song shares a chord progression with tons of songs from the 50’s and early 60’s, which adds to the waning Americana feeling, but it more specifically shares that progression with Earth Angel by The Penguins. In the 80’s film, Back To The Future, Marvin Berry covers the song with his band for the Enchantment Under The Sea Dance where Marty’s dad and mom have to dance to ensure that the future stays intact. There’s no further real connection, but I thought that was kinda cool to mention.

After looking through the lyrics for In the Aeroplane Over the Sea, I will admit, as a brainlet Two-Headed Boy Pt. 1 eluded me. Patrolling through Genius and some other reviews, I guess the consensus about this track was that it was about Anne Frank again? Manta Jeff’s cryptic lyricism continues to fool me. Besides the lyrics, this track mostly remains a piece of really good filler.

part 3: stop the military occupation of my brainwaves

The Fool is amazing, anyone who says it’s filler is wrong. I know I might anger some people by literally implying that Two-Headed Boy Pt. 1 was filler, but seriously The Fool just makes me a feel a way. My brain creates a scene reminiscent of a depressing diesel-punk Les Misérables. Even though Scotch Spillage’s fantastic piece for horns is beautifully imperfect, it lacks lyrical content and is short and length. So, let’s instead talk about Holland, 1945.

This awesome, uptempo, almost punk-like piece of fuzzy brass is groovy son. It’s probably the song you could show someone not familiar with this project and they’d be like, “Oh, is this Cake? Why is the lead singer singing so high now?”

Holland, 1945 is a song that you can just listen for the instrumentation. Holland, 1945 is a song that promotes peace and love. There’s so many great things I can say about Holland, 1945. How it’s theme is so perfectly fitting for today’s political climate, how it manages to blend these psychedelic and bluesy timbres with a fast and loud sound and how well it continued the semi-conceptual narrative of Joff’s admiration and love for... Anne Frank.

Okay, fuck it, I have to say it. It’s bothered me ever since I discovered it.

Why Anne Frank? Like, I know why Anne Frank, but I mean like, why, y’know? I’ll say I admire Anne Frank, she was trying her best to live a normal life in a terrifying time to be alive, but I never wanted to fuck her. xxJeffxx’s mentions of Anne kind of make me raise an eyebrow. Especially because the album’s not just about her either. When he gets sexual, it’s difficult to determine whether he is mentioning a third party or Anne, which would be pretty weird, as she was 15 when she died and Heff was 28 when he wrote this. Maybe this is just some patrician music shit that I’m too plebeian to understand, like heated toilet seats or drinking for fun rather than to drown the pain. Maybe I haven’t sat down and watched enough flowery-squarespace-sponsored-lofi-hip-hop-muzak-using-pretentious video essayists to understand it, but what do I know.

part 4: the proletariat cries

To wrap on the second half of the album, this is the half that I cried in.

Communist Daughter is a good song, but with how short it is, it left me wanting more. This track is one of the few that actually features a soft-spoken Jeffen, and its open and dark but dreamy atmosphere left my jaw agape. The mountaintops weren’t the only thing stained.

Oh Comely, Oh Comely. Oh Comely is a song that deserves its own review. The lyrical chops of The Mangum Magnum are on full display as he belts somber, brutal verse after verse, with plenty of juxtaposition between sickening, sexual and vile situations alongside a description of a sweet, innocent young girl, just trying to survive with a guitar by her side. This beautiful, lovely girl gets taken advantage by someone, some people, perhaps even Yeff himself, only seen as an easy lay, a whore, like the ones her father visits often. He disgustingly describes semen in the garden, and her making miracles with her mouth, but I didn’t get a tone similar to so many songs about “sexual-empowerment.” The song is about self-deprecating depression leading to her being used, perhaps even abused. A situation all too real, too close to many of us. As I type this, I don’t know what to think. A woman should of course have individual sexual freedom, but this song doesn’t describe that. It describes trauma, emotional, psychological trauma. Meaningless sex, a rotten smell, staining the flower of a woman, all of this language that could be simply described as gross. This isn’t a happy song about fucking bitches. This song is about how a girl wanted to play music, pluck vines and was taken advantage of, reduced to her roots, and deflowered. Fuck. I wish I could save her. In some sort of time machine.

Two-Headed Boy could refer to a number of things. I have a head canon. This girl, Comely, is being used by the Two-Headed Boy for sexual favors. The Two-Headed Boy then “repays” her in friendship and music, playing their silly little songs. On the surface, Comely assumes the Two-Headed Boy trusts her and cares for her, but really all he wants is sex. Comely, living in a broken home and without a proper male figure in their life, is conned by the Two-Headed Boy, and just wants to live a normal life. Comely is trapped. She’s living in a place that is surrounded by the texture of scum and she knows it, she just can’t call upon the strength to leave. She’s trapped in a home, a ghetto, wanting to live a normal life, but she’s been placed here by the Two-Headed Boy, who knew her mother and father were broken, and she would be too. The Two-Headed Boy broke in, claimed to be her friend, and supports her, before defiling her. Comely was pretty, bright, and intelligent. She was just in a bad situation.

Comely was Anne Frank.

Not to say that they were literally one in the same, but I mean J. Mangum (private eye) is comparing two children, ripped from their lives by this awful world, and intertwining them, blurring the lines.

Who’s the Two-Headed Boy? As I said, it could be a number of people. Nazis, Peter van Pels, hell, even Jeff Manga himself could be the Two-Headed Boy. It doesn’t matter as long as we realize the relationship between oppressed and oppressor.

There is a glimmer of hope for Comely though. Read the closing words from Two-Headed Boy Pt. 2:

Two headed boy, she is all you could need She will feed you tomatoes and radio wires And retire to sheets safe and clean But don't hate her when she gets up to leave

Comely and the Two-Headed Boy split away from each other. Comely leaves the Two-Headed Boy, and the narrator says not to hate her when she leaves. On a deeper level, this could be an introspective Jeff Mangum relating on his past. I don’t really know.

outro

Neutral Milk Hotel - In the Aeroplane Over the Sea

9/10

What did you think? Was I way off the mark, or do you agree? What should I have covered? What did you like, what did you dislike, I’m all ears. Leave a follow and a like if you liked it and I’ll see you on Wednesday.

#neutral milk hotel #music #music review #james fairfax #mu #/mu/core #folk #fuzzfolk #rock #anne frank

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listentotheshityousay · 6 years ago

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these wordless longings

from the siren!jeremy au

There are so many things Jeremy doesn’t know how to say. Even after he gets his voice back, he has trouble stringing together the thoughts he wants to balance on his tongue. Words are foreign in his mouth. Sometimes he chokes on them, unable to spit a single syllable through his teeth.

It doesn’t bother him, really. He’s lived without his voice for five years, can articulate himself just as easily through his hands and facial expressions, and he could live without saying another word for the rest of his life.

But there is Michael, who lived in a silent world of Jeremy’s making, who now lives in a world of otherworldly sounds whispering in the silence. Michael, who somehow loves Jeremy despite everything he’s done, who lights up with delight whenever he hears Jeremy’s voice.

There are so many things Jeremy wants to tell him. So many things that Jeremy doesn’t know how to say, neither with his voice nor his hands.

“You’ve been staring,” Chloe remarks as she closes her locker. Her tone is mild, without a single trace of accusation, but Jeremy flinches all the same.

Sorry, he signs, and she recognizes it easily enough. He’s been signing that a lot in the past month.

She shrugs, and Jeremy’s eyes follow the movement from her bare shoulders down to the burn scar stretching across her right arm, from collarbone to elbow. “You don’t have anything to be sorry for.” Then she gives a deliberate smirk. “Your boyfriend is going to be jealous if you keep ogling me, though.”

Jeremy sputters at that, which makes her cackle, the delighted sound soothing away the jittery guilt under his skin.

“At least you’re subtle about it. Rich keeps looking at me like I murdered his puppy.” She pauses. “Or more like he murdered my puppy and he expects me to make him pay for it.”

Jeremy grimaces. He knows the feeling, from both sides of the situation. Rich had brushed off Jeremy’s apologies, saying how it wasn’t Jeremy’s fault, he was okay, they were still friends. But it doesn’t change the fact that Rich flinches away whenever Jeremy comes within a foot of him, that he never really smiles as wide as he used to.

“I mean, I electrocuted him pretty badly.” Chloe doesn’t express any guilt about that, which Jeremy is oddly grateful for. “His scars are worse than mine. He should know that we’re even on this.”

If only it were that easy. Then maybe Rich would stop leaving the lunch table in a hurry every day. Maybe he would stop making excuses to avoid hanging out with their friends after school. Maybe he would actually mean the words when he’d laugh, uneasy, and say I know it wasn’t my fault.

Jeremy can’t blame him. The only person to blame is Jeremy himself, after all.

Everybody makes way for Jeremy at school nowadays. People avoid his eyes, giving him a wide berth, and don’t even dare to say his name when he’s around.

Michael likes to joke about how it’s nice that they never have to force their ways through crowds anymore, but Jeremy can tell that it bothers him, the way Jeremy is treated like a threat. Like a criminal.

Jeremy thinks they have the right idea. Everybody should be scared of him. It’s safer that way.

He thinks Michael should be scared, too.

“Do you want Michael to be scared of you?”

Jeremy chews on his lip, fidgeting under his therapist’s calm gaze. Over a month into his state-mandated therapy, he still feels uneasy talking about Michael. He can talk about anything else—the nauseating sensation of having something else possess his body, the lingering resentment over his mom’s abrupt departure, the guilt over Rich and Chloe and Jake and everybody else at school who is going to mandatory counseling for three more weeks. But when it comes to Michael, Jeremy doesn’t know what he wants to say. Doesn’t know how to express this craven need to never let him go, this desperate compulsion to push him away.

No. Jeremy hesitates. Yes. He lets out a frustrated huff. Both. I don’t know.

“What do you think will happen if Michael were to be scared of you?” She asks.

He raises his hands to say he’d be safe, but he pauses, because that’s not true. Michael would stay by Jeremy’s side regardless of how scared he was, because that’s the kind of stupid, reckless, loyal person he is. Nothing. It makes Jeremy want to cry. Nothing would change. He’d still be with me.

She scribbles something on her note pad. “Do you want him to be with you?”

Jeremy always wants Michael to be with him. He almost fucking caused the apocalypse because he was scared of Michael leaving him. He shouldn’t be.

“But what do you want?” Her tone is gentle, but the question makes him ache all the same.

What I want isn’t important, he signs.

“Jeremy.” She puts her pen down. “You’re allowed to want things. You’re allowed to say that you want them.”

Michael says that too, sometimes. You’re allowed to be selfish. Whispered clumsily against Jeremy’s mouth in the dark. Scratched onto a post-it note slipped inside Jeremy’s biology notebook with skinny hearts surrounding the words. Signed in rapid gestures for Jeremy to see right before he enters his therapist’s office.

Sometimes, Jeremy can almost believe it.

How did it go? Michael asks.

Excruciating as always. Jeremy climbs into the passenger seat and buckles in. Thanks for waiting.

I was doing math homework anyway, no biggie. Michael turns the ignition in preparation of the forty-five minute drive home. It had sucked, initially, to discover that the nearest therapist who was both qualified for dealing with demonic possession and fluent in ASL was so far away, but the long drives are now Jeremy’s favorite part about going to therapy: inside an enclosed space, with the car’s stereo volume turned up high and the audio jack plugged into his phone, blasting music that Jeremy sings along to the whole way home. He messes up the lyrics sometimes and can barely rap, but he gets to be as silly and loud as he wants, and Michael smiles through every minute of it.

He doesn’t talk verbally with anybody but his dad and Michael. And even with his dad, it’s sporadic and fleeting. With Michael, he makes more of an effort, because Jeremy’s voice is one of the few sounds he can truly hear, and Jeremy wants to give Michael everything that is within his power to give.

And now that there is an incredible amount of power laying dormant in his soul, the possibilities terrify the ever-loving shit out of Jeremy. This entire mess started with the idea that maybe he could give Michael’s hearing back, and honestly, the knowledge that he could do that—he’d be lying if he said he wasn’t tempted to make use of the power sleeping within him.

(He won’t. He promised Michael. But the temptation will always be there.)

And just the fact that he hasn’t learned his goddamn lesson when he brainwashed forty people and almost killed his friend’s Ancient mom and screwed over his friends forever, it makes Jeremy want to scream. To take a shard of glass to his throat and sever his vocal chords so he can do no more harm. More than anything, he wants to find the words that are clawing their way out of him, to give shape to the guilt and fear and greed roaring inside him.

You should’ve let me break his nose. Michael throws himself onto the couch at the back of his basement. He’s been fuming for a while. I could’ve just said he ran into me by accident.

People don’t run face-first into fists, Jeremy signs in exasperation.

Who said it was gonna be my fist? Michael responds with a grim face. I have perfectly serviceable elbows.

Jeremy snorts at that in spite of himself and Michael cracks a grin, but it slides off his mouth after a moment, replaced by a furious scowl.

I should have punched him.

You can't drive me to therapy if you have detention, Jeremy jokes, but it falls flat. The words that he's been swallowing down rattle in his ribcage, and he wishes he knew how to say them without being ripped apart by them, without forcing Michael to make a choice. Unbidden, the words Dustin Kropp said earlier come back to him. A danger to society like you shouldn't be allowed to be in public. It's surprising that Jeremy doesn't hear that one more often, to be honest. "It's not like he was wrong."

He doesn't realize he's said that aloud until he hears the sound of fingers snapping twice and his attention automatically refocuses onto Michael's pale, outraged face.

What the fuck? Michael stands up and walks up to Jeremy. We went over this. You can't blame yourself for everything.

Something about the way Michael advances on him—like it doesn't even occur to him to fear being close to Jeremy, like Jeremy isn't a fucking danger to everybody around him—douses Jeremy with white-hot anger. I'm not blaming myself for jackshit, he signs aggressively. I'm saying that he's right; I'm dangerous. People have every right to be scared of me.

I'm not scared of you. Michael is standing only inches away, and Jeremy wants to drag him in and kiss the stubborn line of his mouth, wants to scream until Michael can hear what the whole world is saying, wants to tell Michael never leave me and force him to listen.

"You should be!" The words scrape against his throat as he yells them much louder than he intended, but he can't be quiet now. Can't stop the flood of words that rip their way out of him, the things he doesn't know how to say but needs to say anyway. "You shouldn't want to be with me, not after everything I did. I almost killed people—hell, I almost killed an Ancient. I almost ended the whole fucking world. And yeah, that wasn't what I wanted, it was the demon, whatever, but I chose that. I was the one who made the choice to let the demon possess me, to hell with the rest of the world, as long as I got what I wanted. And you know what?"

And here it is, the ugly truth that he can't deny:

"I'd do it again. If it came down to choosing between you and the rest of the world, I'd burn down the world in a heartbeat." He covers his face with both hands, unable to look at the stunned look on Michael's face any longer. "I'm not safe, Michael, and I don't think I'm really sane, either, if I'm saying shit like this."

For the longest moment, there's nothing but the ragged sound of his breathing and a voice deep in his soul, chained and trapped, hissing he’ll never feel safe around you again, knowing how deep your twisted obsession of him runs.

He can’t help but think, good.

And then warm hands curl around his wrists, tugging his hands down, and Michael’s forehead presses against Jeremy’s, forcing him to tilt his face up, and then Michael’s kissing him, hard and insistent, licking into Jeremy’s gasping mouth with a hunger that makes Jeremy’s knees nearly buckle. He kisses back on instinct for about five seconds, whining into Michael’s mouth and shuddering at Michael’s responding growl, then regains his sanity and pulls away, trying to tug his wrists free. But Michael holds on tighter and chases his mouth, and in the ensuing struggle Jeremy trips backwards onto a beanbag chair, Michael following him down.

“Ow,” Jeremy complains about his sore ass. Michael echoes the sentiment as he rubs one of his knees. “What the fuck, Michael?” One of his hands is free now, but Michael still has one of Jeremy’s wrists in a vice-grip. “Let go of me.”

Michael twitches, his grip loosening for a second before it tightens again. He raises his free hand to respond. No.

“Michael.” A thread of desperation creeps into Jeremy’s voice. He needs Michael to get away from him, because if Michael keeps holding onto him like this, Jeremy’s going to fool himself into thinking he could keep Michael forever. “Did you hear a single word I said?”

Yes. Michael glances down at the hand he’s keeping around Jeremy’s wrist, then looks back up to meet Jeremy’s eyes. “I love you too, asshole.”

Jeremy blinks, then makes a pained noise. “I literally just said I’d sell my soul and the rest of the world to the devil for you. That is not supposed to be your response.”

“It was the most romantic bullshit I’ve ever heard,” Michael says, slow but firm.

“That’s not romantic; that’s crazy.” A slightly hysterical despair seeps into Jeremy’s chest. Michael is making no move to get away from Jeremy, and he isn’t sure if he should be relieved or chagrined. “Also, was that a deaf joke? Because it’s not funny.”

“Fuck you,” Michael says, signing it with his free hand. “I’m hilarious.” He lifts Jeremy’s captive hand to his face and kisses Jeremy’s palm slowly, gaze fixed on Jeremy’s eyes. Jeremy swallows a whimper before it can escape, but he can’t hide his shudder at the contact. “And you love me.”

Jeremy curls his hand around Michael’s jaw, slides it back to cup the back of his neck, and Michael lets him. Lets Jeremy pull him in so that he’s half-hovering over Jeremy, their noses brushing, his knees between Jeremy’s. Even after everything Jeremy’s done, after everything he’s confessed, he’s still so unafraid of Jeremy.

“You should run,” Jeremy whispers against Michael’s mouth. “Or I might never let you leave.”

Michael laughs, low and breathless. “Sounds perfect.”

Something breaks loose in Jeremy at that, the inside of his chest flooding, hot and all-encompassing. He pulls Michael in for a bruising kiss, hauling him closer with both hands, tangling fingers into hair and hoodie, trying to press into Michael, leaving not even an inch of space between them. “You idiot,” he mouths against Michael’s skin, kissing up Michael’s cheek, nipping at the shell of his ear. “I love you. God, do you even know how much I love you?” Everything is spilling out of him—the want, the desperation, the fear—poured into his words so that Michael can feel every single part of this love of his, twisted and deep and true. “I love you so much it scares me.”

“ I know.” Michael pushes closer; doesn’t flinch away from the raging current, this flood of emotion that Jeremy cannot contain, overflowing in his words and voice and magic. “I hear you.” Instead he trails kisses down Jeremy’s jaw and neck. “I know.” He brushes his lips against Jeremy’s, his words hot and sweet as they’re breathed into Jeremy’s mouth. “How could I be scared of you, when you love me just as badly as I love you?”

I’ve thought about it, Michael tells him the next day as they sit in the waiting room of Jeremy’s therapist. And I think you shouldn’t worry about making stupid choices.

Thought you said it was romantic? Jeremy snarks, and Michael swats him.

In theory! Didn’t work out in practice, remember? Michael gestures around them. One more consequence of Jeremy’s obsession. But back to my point. You don’t have to worry about making shitty decisions, because I’m not leaving you. Ever.

That’s not something that might be entirely within Michael’s power to guarantee, but Jeremy wants to believe it anyway. So my crazy possessive stalker-y declaration doesn’t scare you, huh.

Like I’d ever be scared of you. Michael snorts, but his smile is soft and fond.

And that’s okay, really. Michael doesn’t need to be scared of Jeremy. Jeremy’s going to be scared for the both of them.

Besides, Michael adds, the corner of his mouth quirking up in a mischievous grin, it’s kinda hot.

Jeremy can’t help the shocked, scandalized laugh that bursts out of him. You have some really questionable kinks, dude.

Michael flips him the bird. I’m just saying.

What, you want me to tie you to my bed and never let you leave? Jeremy jokes, but the way Michael flushes a dark red all the way to the tips of his ears makes him realize he’s hit pretty close to home. He feels his own face go hot at the image of it. Seriously? You’d let me do that?

I’d let you do anything to me, Michael signs, going impossibly redder.

“Jesus Christ,” Jeremy says aloud, unable to help himself, and he catches the way Michael shivers, responding to the sheer lust in Jeremy’s words. He takes a moment to shut down the ideas springing up in his hormonal teenage mind, focusing on the terribly sobering prospect of facing his therapist in the next two minutes instead of the incredibly hot prospect of Michael trusting him so much. We’re kinda crazy, aren’t we.

Crazy for each other, hell yeah. Michael makes a kissy face at him.

Jeremy shoves his shoulder. My therapist is going to have a fucking field day with me.

And speak of the devil, his therapist is poking her head out of her door and calling his name now. Michael follows Jeremy’s gaze, sees that it’s Jeremy’s time to face the music, and grins at him. She can be buddies with my counselor. He thinks we’re a hot mess.

Jeremy grimaces as he stands up, and Michael laughs.

But he also thinks that we’re going to be okay. Michael takes Jeremy’s hand to give it a reassuring squeeze, then nudges him towards the open office door. And I think so too.

Maybe Jeremy’s therapist will agree, once she hears the words Jeremy has finally found to talk about Michael. As he steps through the doorway, he realizes that there’s so many things he wants to say. Things he wants to tell his therapist, his dad, his friends. Michael. And he thinks, for the first time, he might know how to say them.

#be more chill #bmc #boyf riends #jeremy heere #ysyo #fic #mine #this and the other ysyo verse ficlets will all be compiled on ao3 soon!#plenty of codependency and obsession in this relationship #so give this au a swerve if that ain't your thing #that's all the warning I'm gonna give #I WROTE THIS INSTEAD OF MY NANO FIC WHY AM I LIKE THIS

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woahhaleigh · 6 years ago

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Heathers UK Cast Recording Review (From A Retired Veronica Sawyer’s Perspective)

If you are new to my blog, hi! I’m Haleigh and I am an actress local to Dallas/Ft. Worth, Texas. I had the utmost pleasure of playing Veronica Sawyer last summer in Plano, Texas. Veronica was an absolute dream role of mine. I feel so honored every day that I was chosen to tell that story. The show holds an extra special place in my heart because a little bit after the show closed, I started to date the wonderfully talented man who played my JD. So, Heathers holds a dear place in both of our hearts. We have spent a few evenings listening to the UK Cast Recording and gathering our thoughts on it.

I need to preface a few things. 1. I am a huge Carrie Hope Fletcher fan. So I am absolutely biased. Not sorry. 2. As a whole, I think my experience as Veronica would have been immensely easier if this album had been out for me to study and work with. The only Veronica when my show went up was the lovely Barrett Wilbert Weed. Anyone who has ever had the pleasure of playing this iconic role knows that it is insanely difficult to live up to such talent as hers. Carrie made the role seem a bit more human and her vocals, while still insanely difficult, were much more achievable. 3. I go on a few tangents about my experience as Veronica. We just celebrated the year anniversary since the first rehearsal. Your girl got a bit nostalgic. 4. Thank you for coming to my little corner of the internet. Let’s listen to the Heathers UK Album!

⬇ Keep Reading ⬇

Beautiful: I can hear the accents. I can hear them holy moly. It’s okay, Haleigh. Phew. I will say I could hear a distinct difference in the orchestration? It doesn’t feel quite so cutthroat and edgy as the Off-Broadway album. It really does sound more musical theatre. Which I truly enjoy. I like that it sounds like a completely different show. I’m not one for a carbon copy of something else.

Candy Store: Okay, Jodie Steele is everything I never knew I needed?? This rendition is wonderful.

Fight For Me: Woah, this key change is everything! This song was really daunting to learn. And I seriously adore the changes in this album. This song was my favorite to sing. I hope they release the updated score for us on other sides of the globe to use for our books!

Freeze Your Brain: So I can hear Jamie Muscato’s every single syllable. Which is great for the pronunciation of his American accent. However, it was a bit jolting the first time through the cast album. Now that I’ve gone through a few times, I don’t notice it quite as much. Perhaps it’s just the recording and not him live. Such a gorgeoussss voice, nevertheless.

Big Fun: The lyric changes were jolting at first, as well. Still takes a lot of time to get used to. Also, they took out the verse about “let’s use their showers. That sounds like big fun”. Don’t expect to be able to sing along with this one first time around. I do love that Heather Macnamara gets the line about “First it’s salt and then lime and thennnn shot!” like it was in the script when I did the show!

Dead Girl Walking: Such a win, guys. The amount of fever dreams I had about this song is damn near embarrassing. I will say it again, if this album had been out when I did this role, it wouldn’t have been nearly as terrifying. Carrie’s belts were absolutely gorgeous!

Me Inside Of Me: Ugh, my least favorite song in the show. I will say, Jodie Steele, sounds absolutely stunning, though. Even more so than Candy Store. I can hear her bitchiness just in the audio. I wonder how chilling her performance was in person!

You’re Welcome: Unpopular opinion time; I dislike everything about this song. I’ve listened to it once and skip it every time I listen through the album. While Blue from the Off-Broadway album (if done wrong) can be just as predatory as this song, I’ve mainly seen it done silly and more comedic. You're Welcome is just plain scary, in my humble opinion. The vocals are undeniably stunning. Kurt and Ram are immensely talented. However, I just don’t feel like this was a good replacement for Blue. I feel this song is just scary and triggering. Especially for someone who has been in Veronica’s shoes before. While I respect that the writers prefer this song to Blue, I strongly stand behind my opinion on this song.

Never Shut Up Again: I feel like this song is along the same lines as Dead Gay Son. It has a beautiful upbeat vibe to it. I’ve heard a lot of people say that it doesn’t sound like it belongs or flows. I completely disagree. Heather Duke deserved a solo. And T-Shan Williams absolutely slays this song. I also appreciate that they did a little nod to the Blue Reprise in here. This song will be a fan favorite if it gets released with the rights worldwide.

Our Love Is God: Ah one of my most favorite songs to perform when I did this show. This song lives up to the outrageously high expectations I had for it. Brought massive tears to my eyes as I listened and replayed performing this scene in my head. I can only imagine how wonderful the performances were in person.

Dead Gay Son: A song that is usually a skip for me. The vocals were lovely but this song is just better when you see the show live, in my opinion.

Seventeen: Another song that had really high expectations. The vocals, the tone, the everything was truly wonderful. You could hear the love and the urgency behind both Carrie and Jamie’s voices. I was pleased when this song was released early. It was a great little taste to what a joy this cast album would be.

Shine A Light: Less church-y than the Off-Broadway and more rock, I will say. Love Rebecca Lock’s choices with Fleming. She sounds so unapologetically her and it is truly a hilarious experience to listen to. (Funny story, James actually tripped and fell off a platform during our production of Heathers during this song. Just thought I’d share that with the world.)

Lifeboat: Sophie Issacs sure knows how to pull at your heartstrings with this one. It feels like there was a key change in this song too, I could be wrong, though. It also feels faster? I will say while her vocals are lovely since it does feel faster, the song doesn’t pack as much of a punch as it could have.

Shine A Light Reprise: T’Shan is seriously terrifying. I loved the lyric and note changes for this one. Like man, that belt is too die for.

I Say No: Added to my book and have already started to rehearse this so I can sing it at my first given opportunity. The lyrics to this song are really awesome. In the Off-Broadway show, I always was peeved that the musical took out my favorite quote from the movie “You know what I want? Cool guys like you out of my life.” And they included a bit of that in this song. As someone who is a huge fan of this movie, I was stoked when that was added in. From my understanding, this song happens after JD shoots the TV right after Veronica breaks up with him. (Correct me if my assumption is wrong!) James and I had discussed in the past how a song would have been awesome there. So, if that is where this song is, it just makes me that much happier.

Kindergarten Boyfriend: Woah. I mean woahhhh. Those vocals are flawless. This is the only scene in the show where Veronica gets more than 30 seconds to be off stage. I always spent it listening to our Martha that evening sing her heart out. It is what got me into the mindset to cry during Meant To Be Yours. This rendition is so lovely and truly makes me cry every time I’ve listened to the album all the way through.

Yo Girl: So eerie and so haunting. I do prefer the Off-Broadway for this one. It felt more gut-wrenching. The lyrics changes, though, hit you right where it hurts. “what’s that brimstoney smell?” Ouch, guys.

Meant To Be Yours: The differences are subtle between this and the Off-Broadway. I love Jamie’s performance. He truly sounds like he has lost his damn mind. And Ryan McCartan's JD sometime’s was really cartoony. (Still, absolutely adore him!!) My favorite performance from Jamie from this entire album. One character choice I really liked was the whisper of “No thanks”. So chilling. Okay, I’m crying while I’m listening to this. I gotta move to the next song.

Dead Girl Walking Reprise: Carrie’s version is not quite as belt-y as Barrett’s. I always had to sing this after balling my eyes out and had to sniffle and belt this. I love that there is just as much power behind this version but not all the way sang up to the gods. It’s a much more achievable rendition for the average singer in a community theatre where this will get done more often. Again, Jamie for real sounds manic and I love every second of it. And I also looove that there’s an added “Don’t talk about my mom” and a “stop” lines in there. Every night when James and I sang this, he shot me a look like those were his thoughts, but I can’t say anything because she is singing and it’s not in the script. It’s really lovely to have that added bonus in here.

I Am Damaged: These are the only lyrics changes I don’t agree with. I like how it was originally portrayed that JD may or may not be changing in this song. But either way, wow my heart hurts. That was so beautiful. Every night when I played Veronica, my interpretation of this song was probably quite different than most. I’d love to share that to someone other than James and a few members of the cast. When Veronica says “Say hi to God”, I always portrayed it as Veronica, despite all of the harm JD caused, truly believed he would still go to heaven. And it always got me to the depths of my core.

Seventeen Reprise: The vocals and talent of this cast, my god. Just as beautiful as the Off-Broadway. Ugh, this is making me cry my eyes out, guys.

There you have it guys. What did you think of this cast recording? If you haven’t listened to the album yet, you really should! Listen here.

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regularbeans · 7 years ago

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Best Collaborations of 2017

This list is actually growing every year. Last year I only had 15, before that 10 and 10 in 2014 as well. I love it, yes. Give me more collabs! (And remember, I have a bit of a rulebend where stuff released the previous year’s December still counts.)

20 All Time Low: Ground Control (feat. Tegan and Sara)

If I’m absolutely honest I don’t really know/like Tegan and Sara but I do know they come from around the same neck of the pop punk woods All Time Low does and I can appreciate a bit of out of nowhere collab.

19 ONE OK ROCK: Take What You Want (feat. 5 Seconds of Summer)

I honest to god know nothing about One Ok Rock but I do love those 5SOS boys and miss them quite a lot so I’m happy for this track.

18 Halsey: Strangers (feat. Lauren Jauregui)

Another confession: I don’t think this song is as much the tits as everybody says it is but my bi heart hungers for any sort of representation so I’ll take it thank you very much.

17 Stargate: Waterfall (feat. P!nk & Sia)

This is for a movie, right? Who the heck cares, Pink and Sia are definitely two of the strongest female vocalists out there and hearing them side-by-side is every bit as brilliant as I thought it would be.

16 Clean Bandit: I Miss You (feat. Julia Michaels)

Artists like Clean Bandit, Robin Schulz, Kygo or The Chainsmokers (all of which actually have a place or two on this list) are good cause they’re giving me a constant supply of collabs to love. I don’t even know Julia Michaels and I fell in love with her voice as soon as I heard this song.

15 Robin Schulz: OK (feat. James Blunt)

Not as good as Sugar but good regardless, James Blunt is the last person I thought would be collaborating with Robin Schulz but surprisingly it works.

14 Linkin Park: Heavy (feat. Kiiara)

This song was the first on my list back when it came out and even though I understood the concerns about such a different track being the lead single, I could not side with the criticism saying it’s bad. It’s an emotional, painful song about inner turmoils sung beautifully by Kiiara and Chester Bennington.

13 Kygo: Stargazing (feat. Justin Jesso)

Kygo, buddy, you always have my back when it comes to collabs. I love my dance pop full of samples and this gives me just that.

12 The Chainsmokers: Something Just Like This (feat. Coldplay)

Alright, sue me, I love catchy songs. So what? In this world where pop music has become electronic pop producers like The Chainsmokers have an easy job I’d say and some of the old pop royalty are left to catch up or get left behind. This results in many bands that started out or became famous worldwide in the last decade prioritising the electro pop sound over their old set-up (two examples are Coldplay and the upcoming OneRepublic, by the way). For some it doesn’t work out that great but for Coldplay here it sounds comfortable, showing another side of themselves.

11 Kygo: Stranger Things (feat. OneRepublic)

I think I’ve said all I could about this track in the previous two summaries but let me just add that when Ryan Tedder came out with that announcement about not doing another album anytime soon but rather releasing singles whenever they felt comfortable with it because he felt way too under pressure I became worried. I love OneRepublic despite thinking their music have kind of gone downhill since the good old days of the last decade (see?) and would never want them to force themselves into doing shit they don’t want. With a few amazing collaborations under their belt I’m glad they found their way to this song which fits their repertoire quite well.

...remember the beginning of this post when I didn’t write whole novels for every entry? I miss those times. Click through for the first ten songs.

10 San Holo: I Still See Your Face (GOSLO Remix)

Alright, not a classic collaboration but you know what I mean. San Holo’s always been a weird one for me because I barely listen to his vanilla stuff, I always seem to fancy the remixes only. This one is strangely addictive and once you’ve heard it slowed down like that you don’t really want to go back to the original. Sorry(?)

09 Khalid & Imagine Dragons: Thunder/Young Dumb & Broke

I don’t know how this collab came to be but I like to think that the Imagine Dragons boys and Khalid both separately heard each other’s songs and realised the instrumentals might as well be swapped cause they just fit each other so well. I also recommend the live version which is awesome. I’m so on board with Dan Reynolds wandering into the realms of R&B, it really suits him.

08 Logic: 1-800-273-8255 (feat. Alessia Cara & Khalid)

Mental illness has been getting tons of attention in the mainstream media recently, I think starting around the suicide of Robin Williams (could be sooner but that’s when I became aware of the attention) and that’s not a bad thing but I feel like most artists are still just dancing around the notion of saying things as they are. It’s not a bad thing, I’d rather people are careful rather than misrepresenting or spreading false information and thus enforcing the stigma around mental illness, but then someone like Logic comes out of nowhere with a song whose title is literally the US suicide prevention hotline with several hard hitting lines that tell it like it is. The fact that the music video is about a young black gay boy growing up to be happy is just cherry on top. I’m glad Alessia Cara and Khalid, two people from two different genres came together to collaborate on it.

07 Nothing But Thieves: Hell Yeah (feat. Jonathan Higgs)

Fear not, I will always find a way to cram these assholes onto any list I can get my filthy fingers on. I don’t even know which concert this was and I had no idea these guys even knew each other but it was such a random impromptu collab that I can’t help but love it. The harmonies sounded amazing and I love the idea of any old singer from an otherwise unrelated band just randomly wandering on stage to sing a duet with Conor.

06 dodie: Impossible Year (feat. Jack Howard)

Here’s one of our outliers but one that actually fits our current situation. Panic! forever cemented this song as a must-listen at the end of every year and dodie and Jack Howard did an amazing job covering the song. It works even better as a duet somehow, and I just love their voices together.

05 Lin-Manuel Miranda: Almost Like Praying (feat. Artists for Puerto Rico)

Lin is one of those people who just radiates good energy wherever he goes. You just can’t help but feel positive when he’s around. I imagine it’s a blessing and a burden but when he uses that power to gather around a group of musical legends and contemporary artists to promote a good cause it’s definitely a blessing.

04 Clean Bandit: Symphony (feat. Zara Larsson)

It might just be because this song is the theme song of my OTP but I love it. It’s even weirder because I listened to it a lot this year when I had a bit of a breakdown and yet this song doesn’t remind me of that phase, thankfully. It reminds me that Clean Bandit are master songwriters and Zara Larsson’s voice is too good for the music she does on her own.

03 Machine Gun Kelly: Home (feat. X Ambassadors & Bebe Rexha)

Do I like Machine Gun Kelly? Not really. Do I like Bebe Rexha? Not in particular. Have I seen Bright? Hell no. I do love X Ambassadors to bits, however, and will lay down my life for a good hook any day. It’s a nostalgic sort of bittersweet song about belonging and missing home, and it carries even more meaning when you realise Machine Gun Kelly wrote his verse after he found out about Chester Bennington’s death. I love this song regardless of the background info but it just fits so well together this way. Also Bebe Rexha’s voice is also too good for the music she does on her own. She’s got a beast in that throat of hers, goddamn.

02 Grizfolk: In My Arms (feat. Jamie N Commons)

Two artists that crept up on me without any warning, indie pop Grizfolk and what the hell is Jamie N Commons even doing when he’s not singing for other people? I should probably check out. But until then enjoy this song between two of the strongest vocals you probably never heard of.

01 Cold War Kids: So Tied Up (feat. Bishop Briggs)

You’d think I knew this song would be first on the list for a long time but no sir, I did not. Eventually the deciding factor was that the live version they released before the album came out (link in the title) was so good that when the studio version came out people were outraged that Bishop Briggs was barely featured. It wasn’t even the false advertisement that hurt, it was just that the studio version absolutely wasted Bishop’s talents which as we know are plenty. Luckily Cold War Kids realised their mistake and released a “moreBishop” version which is 1) as it should’ve been from the very beginning and 2) fucking hilarious. The music video (linked here) also features “moreBishop”, thank goodness x)

The list also contained Not Easy by Alex Da Kid and featuring X Ambassadors, Elle King, and Whiz Khalifa but unfortunately it’s from 2016 October as it turns out so :[ (Listen to the song anyway cause it’s really good)

#best of 2017 #long post for ts #tumblr mobile allegedly does read mores and blacklists so.....#there

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finalwuyifantasy · 5 years ago

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how to fall in love with a kpop idol in 6 years and 1 week: an autobiography

i don’t expect anyone to read this, but i want to have it written somewhere...

i first found out about Cross Gene in 2014. according to my youtube history, considering i have no memories at all of 6 years ago, the first video i ever watched of them was Amazing Bad Lady’s MV teaser (on the day it came out, surprisingly), then the MV for it, then that goddamn dance practice. (fun fact: i kept coming back to that dance practice every week. just like i do today. i haven’t changed!) few months later they released Play With Me and Not a boy not yet a man, and i think either Billion Dolla or ZEDD was also released around that time. i watched La-Di Da-Di’s and Shooting Star’s MVs but didn’t feel too much about La-Di Da-Di, really liked Shooting Star though. that was the only 4 songs i would have of them at the time: Amazing Bad Lady, Play With Me, Not a boy not yet a man and Shooting Star. according to my twitter history, i tried learning their names with mediocre success. eventually i learned... Takuya. Takuya was kinda the only one i was obsessed with at the time. lasted a few months or so.

eventually, some time after that, i just fell out of kpop as a whole. i’d still listen to kpop songs, because you never grow out of music -- but i’ve gotten a lot less interested in fandoms, performances, variety shows, new releases, new groups, everything. i didn’t really consider myself a “kpopper” anymore, because all i had was just... yeah, i listen to kpop, but that’s literally it. i think this blog kinda reflects that. i just fell out of it completely. and i kinda forgot about Cross Gene.

two years ago, Cross Gene released Touch It and Fly. i only found out about those because Billion Dolla randomly got stuck in my head so i looked that one up and found out they had new songs. and i loved both, especially Fly. it was strange to see them without Casper but i embraced it. two years ago was also the time i started being a regular on that one guy’s stream, and he had song requests available at the time; i remember that i played Fly there twice. the first time he let it play fully, probably because he wasn’t paying attention, because the second time he skipped it after people were yelling in his chat that it was “ew kpop”. ㅎㅎ

but even after that, i also, stopped paying attention. i had Fly in my playlist for quite a while, but one day my playlist changed, and i just forgot about them again. i liked the songs they released, but i didn’t want to care more than that. i fell out of kpop, after all.

and then comes... last month. on June 1st, 2020, once again, i got Billion Dolla stuck in my head and went to listen to it (it’s always fucking Billion Dolla! why’s that song so good!). then i decided to watch ZEDD, because, i hadn’t before, and i wanted to know the plot or whatever. (it was an okay movie, but eh could have been better, anyway) little did i know this would be me jumping into the rabbit hole...

i found out they had had a comeback “recently” that i missed (Black or White, which actually came out before Touch It/Fly, but i had no idea). i read in the comments Takuya left the group last year. i was devastated. started looking up Takuya content to cheer myself up. came across one MV, then another, watched them all in a row. i remembered Amazing Bad Lady and thought to myself, how could i forget. i ended up watching probably every Amazing Bad Lady performance they have and being outraged that they banned the choreo. i found out it was the first (and possibly still only?) boy group choreo that got banned from music shows. and even with that achievement Cross Gene is unknown to the mainstream media... it felt sad. anyway, i needed more Takuya content. i started watching Abnormal Summit - only 6 years late, no big deal. i watched like 10 episodes before getting bored (poor Takuya barely got any screentime and i didn’t really care about the guests).

over a month and a half my life was all Cross Gene. i’m not sure how it happened. i watched so many live performances, probably because that’s all there is to watch. fucking hell there’s literally barely any Cross Gene content on youtube and that drives me WILD but anyway. i watched some variety shows. whatever i could find that was subbed in english really lol. i ended up listening to every single one of their songs. i’ve had their entire discography - bar for one song that i just haven’t found at all lol - playing on loop for weeks now. my playlist is only Cross Gene. i’ve fallen for them so much harder than when i found out about them 6 years ago, and i surprised myself by liking every single one of their songs. the only time i’ve had that was with Big Bang, where i liked every single song by them - at least until MADE. even EXO, and you know how deep i was into them, had several songs i would occasionally skip or just not like listening to. but not Cross Gene. every Cross Gene song is a masterpiece. and i love every single one of them.

and then... something strange happened. for the past 6 years my Cross Gene life was only Takuya, and yet... over less than 10 days... my Cross Gene life became only Seyoung.

i don’t even know if i remembered his name when i came back to them last month. there’s a high chance i didn’t. and while i was watching all those videos, performances, dance practices, variety shows - my eyes were mostly only on Takuya. so... Seyoung... how did you do it?

to be honest, i literally have no idea. it just happened. like that. woke up one day thinking about Seyoung. feels like he’s been on my mind forever. no thoughts, head empty. only Seyoung. and within a week, just like that, i've become SO IN LOVE with Lee Seyoung.

for some reason, this feels different. i was obsessed with quite a few idols in the past, but i can’t remember ever feeling for them what i’m feeling for Seyoung right now. maybe it’s because i’m older and actually have a boyfriend so it feels more mature, less crazy, more respectful. even though i’ll admit i also feel [redacted] to him which is also the first time but eh... happens i guess.

but one thing i really need to mention is... just how attached i became to him, even within a week.

when i first found out about Cross Gene, JG hadn’t been part of the group for a while. “my” Cross Gene has always been with Seyoung, not that i have anything against JG at all, of course - but i don’t have any particular attachment to him since i didn’t “grow” with him. Seyoung however, feels like a natural piece of Cross Gene to me. like he’s always been there, and like he belongs there. i can’t imagine Cross Gene without him, even though their first two albums were without him. and that brings me to...

as i said earlier, i’ve been listening to Cross Gene’s entire discography on loop for weeks on end now. this includes their Timeless albums, sung with JG. i’m used to those versions, and i don’t mind them. JG is a good vocalist and the songs are good. but everything changes when they perform them at a concert.

i watched a few concerts (whatever i could find), i’ve heard La-Di Da-Di and New Days with Seyoung, and i couldn’t really think of anything about them. i like having Seyoung there. obviously, it sounds different, as JG and Seyoung have critically different vocals, but i couldn’t think of anything else other than enjoying the performance.

then i watched their With U concert. there, they performed Sky High.

youtube

i watched knowing Sky High is a song on Timeless, so originally sung with JG. i watched full of expectations of how Seyoung’s version is gonna sound like.

in Sky High, JG’s first lines are the second part of the first chorus. that’s a full minute before he starts singing. i watched this performance with my eyes on Seyoung. the way he watches the rest of the members before his turn comes.

i had no idea what was gonna hit me.

Seyoung started singing and i started crying. literal tears in my eyes. i don’t think i’ve ever cried over someone’s voice before.

it sounded so different. this wasn’t the version i’m used to, and yet, it felt so natural. it felt like Seyoung belonged there. it felt like Seyoung had been singing this song forever. it felt like this was Seyoung’s song. i felt like i wanted him to keep singing it forever.

and so i cried while listening to this performance. between Seyoung’s beautiful voice, the energy with which he sang and danced, the overall feeling of the performance... i was a complete mess.

there’s someone in the comments of that video saying that they can’t accept Seyoung as a replacement for JG’s parts. this honestly made me realize how deeply attached i am to Seyoung. there’s people who don’t want to hear him sing JG’s parts because they sound too different, and there’s me who cries as soon as he sings two words.

i love Seyoung... i love Seyoung so much.

his nickname within the group is ‘Miracle Gene’.

when i heard him sing Sky High, that’s what i thought.

he really is a miracle.

i’m so glad he’s there with Cross Gene. he belongs there.

my god, i love him so much.

#personal #i dont wanna tag this cross gene but i guess it's about cross gene so eh #cross gene

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only1jinyoung-blog · 8 years ago

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A CREATION CALLED JINYOUNG

Allure Korea ~ February Issue

We met Jinyoung who travels back and forth busily as a GOT7 member on stage and the drama filming venue. There are still many things that man who turned 24 year old has yet to show.

As a GOT7 member, be it if it’s vocal or dance, Jinyoung shows a performance in which you can’t rebuke any specific aspect. Lately, he’s receiving acknowledgement as an actor but nevertheless, if you meet Jinyoung, the question, “What would this man do if he wasn’t a celebrity?” pops up. Tender, a poised gift of the gab, a considerate heart that even pays attention to the trivial things, a person whom after reading Dazai Osamu’s [No Longer Human], organizes his thoughts in his spare time; even disregarding idols, it’s hard to even meet an ordinary guy who is like this. While we were preparing for the Allure Facebook live that was released earlier on our account, it was (happening) after the interview ended but we talked about books to our hearts content. I recommended a few books from the writers that Jinyoung likes and he listened to it excitedly and requested for me to write the titles down. I scribbled on the back on the questionnaire paper and in the end, Jinyoung brought the paper back (home). If you spend a few short hours with him, anyone will realise that Jinyoung is a man who will make it in whatever he does. What is even more shocking is that he’s not even complete (fully developed) right now. The reason why Jinyoung likes Bildungsroman novels a lot is because he is still developing. On the first Wednesday of the New Year at 8AM, we met Jinyoung whom wants to try anything because he could be anything.

Allure (AL from hereon): Seems like you finally ‘found’ your name? First you were ‘Jr.’ and then you were ‘Junior’ and now you’re Jinyoung. JY: I like it so much more. In the entertainment world, there are many Jinyoungs so at first, people were worried if it would be okay. Even if people don’t know me as much, I’m comfortable using my own name. Because I don’t particularly have to concern myself with other people.

AL: Trainee period would have been really hard wouldn’t it. How did you endure it? JY: Honestly speaking, the life of a trainee is hard. However, I didn’t really think of it being hard. It could have probably been the spirit of a young age. I thought of outrageous things like, ��As long as I work hard, I’ll debut soon enough”. Since they said if you worked hard, you would be able to debut so I trusted in that.

AL: Seems like you would have been a little homesick at the start? JY: When I came to Seoul? It was bad. When I was younger, I felt Seoul was too huge. I was from a place where I could travel around on a bicycle but coming to Seoul, even the school was huge. I was shocked by this huge city known as Seoul.

AL: Before you came to Seoul, you grew up by the sea. Speaking of the sea, do you miss it? JY: The sea is really tranquil. I think spending my childhood at the suburbs was a positive influence on me. Since people are also a part of nature, if you grew up with nature, don’t you become pure? I’m definitely not saying that those growing up in Seoul are not pure (laughs). But because I have those kind of memories from when I was younger, I’m happy.

AL: Then are you good in swimming and fishing? Would it possibly be a stereotype? JY: I can’t swim. Maybe it’s because I grew up by the sea that I thought ‘There’s no reason I should enter the waters, is there?”. But I like fishing. I like being next to my father when he went for night fishing.

AL: Your trainee period is 2 and half years, isn’t that on the short end? JY: That’s right. I didn’t know I would debut this quickly. It would be 7 years if it is on the long end, and the average is around 4 years so I thought I would also be a trainee for 4-5 years. But suddenly, even when I wasn’t ready, I did JJ Project with JB hyung. We released an album and after developing a lot, (we) debuted as GOT7.

AL: If your dorm life still as fun? JY: Since we started living together since we were trainees, it’s natural. At first it was like a trip but now I’m too used to it.

AL: Fans of idol want their favourite groups to forever stay together harmoniously. JY: I think that’s the heart of the fans. I understand that heart (mind-set) but it would be better if they are fans who would understand that there will be a time when the desire to live alone arises (laughs). Because seven men can’t stay together forever!

AL: What’s most uncomfortable about seven people staying together? JY: Apart from the lack of towels, there’s nothing much. But since we have a lot of members, it’s hard to look for something that we lost. Because we can’t go searching in other places. We either find it a month later, or we forget about it.

AL: Do you have a tidy personality where you need to put things back in its place after using it? JY: I think I am that type. But since we’re moving dorms soon, we haven’t been cleaning up. It’s really messy.

AL: In the beginning, with martial arts tricking as your foundation, your choreography was very dynamic but now GOT7’s choreography is smoother as compared to the beginning. Which matches more? JY: I think it changes following the type of music but I like the way it is now. I don’t like things like (all the) flying around. I like dances that flow comfortably better.

AL: For idol groups, apart from the music video, watching the dance practice videos is also fun. Feels like we’re getting a peek into how you are in the practice room. JY: That is when it is most difficult, haha. On the day when we are filming for the dance practice videos, it’s when we think ‘Today we’re gonna sweat a lot’. For music videos, it (scenes) cuts off so it’s okay but for dance practice videos, if someone gets one move wrong, we have to do it again.

AL: Do you make the videos for people who do dance covers? JY: I’m not exactly sure what the root of it was but wouldn’t that be the case? For music shows or music videos, you can’t see the choreography as a whole so to look at a performance, the dance video would be the most accurate. It seems like fans also like our real-life looks so we each wear comfortably for the filming.

AL: GOT7 is in your 4th year of activities now. You are now flying all around the world but from your point of view, at which point (of your career) are you in now? JY: Third anniversary, fourth year of activities. When I look at celebrities, it seems like the people who go through a period of being nameless (not popular) and climb up one step at a time are the people who go the longest. Us GOT7 too are now in the process of climbing up. Of course there are people who do better than us at a faster rate but I think we are sufficiently fast right now.

AL: It seems like you can go a little slower, even? JY: I’m not someone with a urgent/pressing type of personality. It’s true that for idol groups, you should do well in the fastest time possible. However, I don’t think it’s a bad thing to succeed slowly. That way, the trust between the fans and the members grows. Because slowly climbing up the stairs is a process we go through together. That way, fans too become that much prouder (of us) and for us too, our hearts for the fans grow bigger. Therefore I think, slowly climbing up the way we are doing now, is instead the shortcut for us to go even longer with one another.

AL: A lot of people like you; when did you first feel the support? JY: During fansigns. At the beginning, the same people would come and as time passes, we start seeing new people. I remember most of the faces of the fans who came (to fansigns) at the beginning. Because they come almost every time. But slowly, there are people who don’t come and there are people who continuously come.

AL: The fans who come for fansigns must be fans who are really passionate. JY: You need to have courage when coming for the fansigns (laughs). For us, we just need to sit down and sign but for the fans, I guess they get really nervous coming to the venue. They also get embarrassed. They prepare a lot to come and in order to not forget, they even write the things they want to say on their palms. When I see those instances, I think about the hearts of the fans.

AL: You have the role of a vocal in your team. To be honest, if you weren’t a fan, you would only know of title songs like ‘Hard Carry’ but if you listen to it, there are many good ballad songs too. For example, when you sing songs where you can hear the vocals well like ‘Forever Young’ and ‘See The Light’, do you prefer it? JY: As a person who sings, I definitely want to sing songs that will clearly showcase vocals. Because for the music that we do, the beats and atmosphere are strong. When I think songs where the vocals can be heard well, the thought ‘Ah I’m singing’ comes.

AL: Are you still writing or composing songs? JY: I’m preparing it now too. I’m also going to put it in an album one by one.

AL: GOT7 are well known for being ‘beagles’*. Watching [Weekly Idol], we wonder if you’re also like that in real life. JY: It seems like the captions and the effects itself make us seem really cute and loveable. Even the screen makes us seem dazzling. However in [Weekly Idol], it made us look less close to each other than we actually are. If you would like to see how we are really like, then I would recommend our reality show [GOT7’s Hard Carry]. Note: Beagles are used to describe the clumsy characteristics of people, yet still be cute/adorable.

AL: Would that be the most realistic? JY: Yes, our relationship (with one another) is really good.

AL: You are steadily acting and recently you appeared as the younger Damryung in [Legend of the Blue Sea]. You match really well with the hanbok. JY: I heard it was a really expensive hanbok (laughs). So I was concerned. Can I act carelessly* while wearing this? Note: Jinyoung is trying to imply that his skills are still not as polished, thus referring to his acting as careless/not great.

AL: Are you satisfied with the role of a young boy who is in love with a mermaid? JY: When I read the script, it was really interesting. The fantasy genre in which you meet a mermaid character is something that’s uncommon so that attracted me first. In addition to that, all the great actors were gathered so I thought it was something I must do.

AL: Did you like it as much as your expectations were? JY: Firstly, I like that I filmed at the sea. I really like the sound of the waves. We filmed for about a month and I had a lot of time to think. I heard that usually for drama filming, it would be a tight schedule but when I went, it was relaxed. The life of young Damryung has a tranquil and vast ambience and that could be why the filming set was like that too.

AL: Did any of the members helped you by being the other party when you were memorizing your script? JY: Yugyeomie helped out. I’m the type to not be able to memorized lines well, so I take a long time to memorize it. As I continually memorize it, when I want to confirm what I’ve memorized, I would go, ‘Yugyeom-ah, help me memorize my lines by reading it to me’ and he would do it.

AL: When you’re standing on stage as GOT7, you have a bright and energetic side to you and when you’re acting, it’s a quiet look. As you change back and forth, is it fun? JY: It’s fun because I’m working ‘two jobs’. Because I’m still young, there are several things I want to try out. People say this: Shouldn’t you just do one thing? But I don’t think that way. No one is going to be responsible for my life so it’s better for me to do the things I want to do.

AL: There are many people who can’t connect the actor Jinyoung and the Jinyoung on stage. JY: That is something I welcome. I think it is better. Because they learn of me when they didn’t know of me. Because I am absolutely not recognized as an actor, I want to show people new sides of me.

AL: You are known for liking reading; what books are you reading now? JY: Recently I read [The Wind-Up Bird Chronicle] by Haruki Murakami. Actually, what people misunderstand is that (although) I like reading, I don’t read a lot. I read one book for a long time. Shall I say that it is etiquette to the writer? Haha. Actually, I can’t read fast so I’m using cool excuses. Right now I’m reading Émile Ajar’s [The Life Before Us]. I like older books so recently I went to a second-hand bookstore. I like the feel/texture of the old books. I remember a fan gifted me an old [The Catcher in the Rye] in a zipper bag, that is the most impressionable gift I’ve received.

AL: Isn’t reading essentially about having a conversation with yourself? What kind of conversation did you have with yourself recently? JY: I read [The Course of Love]. It’s a book that’s too adult (mature) so I’m not able to fully understand it but there’s a saying in there. ‘A relationship isn’t something you can have based on feelings only.’ It said you can’t meet someone purely based on love or liking that person; this person’s taste, depth of thoughts, values, everything has to fit before you can truly be close to that person. I thought there was a point to the adult’s saying of you can’t have a deep relationship with someone just because you like that particular person, and as time passes, the true friends you have left are only one or two persons.

AL: Then, what kind of person is able to have a deep relationship with Jinyoung? JY: Wouldn’t it be great if it was someone who thought about his life and values seriously? I like people who have a quiet personality, Jackson is the only exception (laughs).

AL: What would be GOT7’s and your plans for this year? JY: Firstly, although it’s late, I wish everyone a Happy New Year (laughs). We have a Japan tour and I hope we end our fan meeting well, and I want to prepare for our album well. At the beginning, we just made the albums but now that we are making the albums together, we want for the album to be better, to have more significance so we’re working hard preparing for it. Also, I want to obtain my driving license by the end of the year. I failed last year.

AL: Haha. You look like your pride is hurt? JY: They said I needed practice on my skills on driving. My pride is really hurt. I’m going to pass the next time.

#allure korea #p:magazine #translations #got7 #jinyoung

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gigsoupmusic · 5 years ago

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OK Go - One big craziest thing we've ever done after another - Interview

OK Go is a band that needs no introduction. For over a decade, OK Go has been making waves across multiple artistic mediums. The Grammy award-winning group makes songs you will sing along with and music videos you will never forget. Whether they are dancing on treadmills, singing with The Muppets, or making music with cars OK Go inspires creativity. OK Go continues to show how music and art correlates with physics, math, and creativity with educational videos on okgosandbox.org/ and their new form of live show that is all ages and interactive. I had the chance to interview OK Go bass player and vocalist Tim Nordwind. We talked about the craziest thing he has done for the band, how a summer camp changed the course of his life, a possible OK Go ASMR video, where he keeps his grammy, and more. I'm with Tim Nordwind of OK Go, who plays bass and vocals; you are also a significant part of the artwork for the band. I'm excited to be talking to you because I have been watching videos and I feel like you do a lot of the really outrageous things in your videos. I saw you with a half-shaven face for the writing on the wall video, and I wanted to ask what is one of the craziest things you have done for the band? Tim Nordwind: That's a hard question to answer because every time we do a video, it always sort of feels like "oh this is the craziest thing we've done" then we do the next one, and it's like "no this is the craziest thing we've done" you know? I mean we have done videos in zero gravity, we've been launched in the air through paint, and I helped create a portrait of my face made out of junk, we've danced on treadmills, we've shot things in 2.3 seconds and slowed it down to make a 4-minute video. It's hard to pinpoint one; the whole experience is generally one big this is the craziest thing we've ever done to the next (laughs). https://youtu.be/LWGJA9i18Co That's incredible, and the story with OK Go is also amazing. You and Damian met at summer camp when you were eleven at an art camp. Is it crazy looking back that this summer camp sort of changed the course of your life? TN: Yeah, it is always crazy to think about that. It was at an art summer camp, and it's funny because that camp you can go there for theater, dance, and visual arts and things like that, but the main thing is music, and neither one of us was there for music. I think that was the beginning of this whole long journey that we've taken together, where it sort of like we were in a place where music was the thing, but we were allowed to come at it whatever way we wanted to. We have always been surrounded by music, but we've always been really into theater, and visual arts, and technology, and all these different things, and so from day one, we never thought that we have to do one thing. As we grew up into the music industry, there were moments where it seemed like oh well maybe we do only have to do one thing. But we were very relieved when the videos started doing well, like those first couple of videos of us dancing in backyard, us dancing on treadmills, and things like that we realized that those were the things that people were actually reacting to in a major way. So that was a relief because it was like well that is what we do normally anyway, that is how we have hung out with each other since we were eleven, is we make funny videos, and we bang on pianos and call it a song. So it came as a great relief to know that people really liked the things that we do as like friends. We haven't really looked back ever since. It gave us great confidence when we started to feel like people liked us for what we naturally do both musically and visually. So where you were participating in art in multiple mediums, when was it that you started making music together? TN: Damian and I definitely first bonded over music, we had a very wide spectrum of music that we were interested in. We both listened to everything from Run DMC to Les Misérables. It's like right when Run DMC was first coming out, and so hip hop and things like that were this very fresh and brand new thing. But then also, we were super into musical theater too (laughs). We were kind of all over the map, but we definitely really bonded over music. I think music, in general, is such an immediately satisfying format in the sense that, like sometimes even just the opening sound of a snare drum, it's like you know instantly you know what kind of mood you're in for. I think we've always been that kind of like a quick fix in a way when it comes to music. So we have always just been very, very curious about everything else in art and like in anything that seems curious in the world. That goes into science and math and all these different things. I guess we are just very curious people who like to make things. https://youtu.be/jxD_QQWyhCc With that interest in science and math, I watched some of the more educational video series for The Sandbox on your YouTube Channel. One of those was the Surrounding Sounds video, where you took random objects you were surrounded by like scissors, and tape, pens and pencils, and things like that. So the video was a few years old, and now there is the craze for ASMR, so I wondered if OK Go would ever do an ASMR video? (Laughs) TN: (Laughs) I definitely...sure. When I think of ASMR, I think of people close like eating pizza or something like that (laughs). I think it is kind of amazing, and I am somewhat obsessed with some ASMR videos. Especially head massage videos, which I'm not sure count as ASMR but I feel like it gives me the same sort of relaxed feeling. Have you ever seen the video under "Best Head Massage Ever" there's a guy who I think is in India and he has this little what feels like a trailer on a sidewalk where people step into, and he does the most amazing 10-15 minute head massages that I could just watch forever. Like someday I will make a pilgrimage to wherever that guy is. (Laughs) I think for like my 50th birthday I am going to find this guy and get this head massage. I haven't seen that but I'm excited to look. I have seen like the chubby baby face massages and that craze and those are fun too. TN: Well, that sounds like my next obsession, probably. If you look up "Worlds Greatest Head Massage," or I think maybe under the name of Baba Cosmic Barber. He does the massage like before he cuts their hair. But we haven't specifically thought about ASMR videos, but again it is something that like, in general, the way our process works we would be like "Wouldn't it be cool to make an ASMR video?" and then we would spend like 3-6 months really exploring what it would mean to make an ASMR video and whether or not you could make a compelling three and a half minute like visual music video where you can keep getting surprised every 10-15 seconds through ASMR. Or you start to think well ASMR is the base here but what else can you combine it with to keep things surprising and entertaining for three and a half minutes? And that really is at the end of the day is how we would think about it. People ask us all the time where we get the ideas for our videos, and it's not so much like where do we get the base idea for it, it's what happens once we get in that sandbox of whatever it is we decide to get into and start playing with it. The end result looks like we had a great idea but really what happened is that we played and played and played and experimented for usually a few months at a time until we had enough great things come out of that experimental process to kind of like stitch together to make the video. It's funny you ask that because like sure we could try that, and that would be the process. Then halfway through the process, we would probably either learn that we aren't the one to come up with the 10-15 surprises that you would need with ASMR, or we would learn that we are (laughs). https://youtu.be/QvW61K2s0tA What has been a place in your art that you have caught yourself in a wow moment like that you couldn't believe? TN: There have been a lot of times. I mean, we played Barack Obamas 50th Birthday Party, we did our choreographed dance routine for 'A Million Things' on top of a building in New York City on New Year's Eve in Times Square for like 2 million people, we met and made a video with the Muppets. That was actually on my list of questions, all these things your naming are all bullet points. It's so cool. TN: Yeah, like we won a Smithsonian Ingenuity Award in the company of like really amazing physicists and just crazy. It has taken us to places that we just never really dreamed of doing, and it's been incredible in that sense. https://youtu.be/m86ae_e_ptU If someone would have told you the success that you are having, especially success being genuinely yourself when you were coming up in Chicago, what would you have said? TN: Um, I mean, I don't know you have to be somewhat delusional in the first place to go after this kind of thing. I think I would have been surprised, but I would have been like, "okay, cool, that's awesome." That's what we hoped for ourselves. I think that the one thing that was most unexpected was that we would become known for something other than music, or that along with the music, we would be known for making music videos. That is something that we absolutely did not set out to do. We really, when we started in Chicago, were going at it like any other Indie-rock band in the country and in the world. We were looking for a label and trying to get on tour, that sort of stuff. If you told me then that what I'd be known for was the videos that would have meant like "Okay, so we're going to be huge on MTV?" That is the hardest thing to wrap my brain around would be that in a short amount of time there would be this brand new space where people go to live their lives online. Including where you do your shopping, banking, and socializing is also going to be your new space to create. That I think would have been like, "what the fuck are you talking about?" So I think that is the thing I'd be most surprised about. And the way that OK Go uses the space they have to create art is inspiring. What can you tell me about ways your videos have inspired people that has been unexpected? TN: Yeah, it's nice in the last several years now we get emails from teachers and parents who show their kids our videos to teach them a little something about physics, or math, or creativity, or whatever it is the particular videos are featuring. It has been nice because we started okgosandbox.org which is our sort of educational arm of what we do. It makes teaching tools for teachers to use in classrooms to help kids think about how math, science, creativity can all be as one. It doesn't have to be this textbook thing like you can use music to make really fun and awesome stuff. That is another thing I think if you told me in Chicago, in 1998, that like people would be using our videos to teach with I would be like "what are you talking about? Why would they be doing that?" (laughs) It is nice to see all of this evolve in ways that we couldn't have dreamt of, and sometimes in ways that we did dream of. A lot of our career has really been surprising. Really nice surprises that have come from the hard work we put into the things that we made. https://youtu.be/dTAAsCNK7RA What are the schedules and budgets like for these videos? TN: Most of the videos these days take about 3-6 months to make. They have been from like dirt cheap to incredibly expensive. Like think pretty expensive and that is what some of them have cost, then think like roughly $20-40, they have kind of gone all over the map. As we have gone on the ideas have gotten bigger and more ludicrous and it tends to be a higher budget affair. What can you tell me about the live video shows that OK Go is doing? TN: So the live video show is a bit more of a sort of cinematic and cultural experience rather than just a full-on rock show. We have been playing performance art centers around the country and it's basically a video retrospective that has rock show elements and theatrical elements. We play about twenty of our videos chronologically and stop every three of four to talk with the audience. There are some interactive moments where we play songs with the audience and it has been great. It is kind of like a new mode of show for us. The videos that existed online and our rock show we used to kind of keep those things separate from each other, at some point, we realized that it sort of seems like a missed opportunity to not show up and own the fact that we are the band that makes these videos and that we are going to take you through that experience of doing so. It has been super fun and it feels very appropriate where we are in our 21-year career. The show feels very modular and that we can keep adding to it as we make more music and make more videos and all of that. It has been really fun to do, and it is fun to talk to the kids in the audience. They usually have the weirdest and funniest questions (laughs). And there is thing number three that if you had told me in 1998 in Chicago that a bunch of kids would like what we are doing I wouldn't have believed you. Like we make music for 18-35-year-olds and that's what we know (laughs). https://youtu.be/47PDFwMcplw I have a question I ask in every interview and I love karaoke and I like to ask people that have performed on a number of stages if they do the small stage of karaoke and what their go-to song is? TN: Gosh you know it's funny, I used to love karaoke and then I played in a band and started to hate karaoke. I'm probably the rare person who there were periods of life where I would sing on stage sometimes 2-3 times a day or 180 days a year, so I didn't want to get up and sing in front of anyone, anymore (laughs). But my go-to songs back when I loved it were 'Take On Me' by a-ha or 'Total Eclipse of The Heart' by Bonnie Tyler which if you know it and can sell it will bring down the house every time. Where does OK Go keep their grammy? TN: Well we all have one, and I keep mine in my studio. Well, thank you, Tim. I really appreciate what you guys do and your time. This was a lot of fun. TN: Thank you so much. It was nice to talk to you. Follow OK Go on their website, Facebook, Instagram, and YouTube. Read the full article

#hereitgoesagain #OKGo

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