#outing myself as a philadelphia eagles fan…

[somethin-stupid-67]

the emmys and the philadelphia eagles game being on at the same time is stressing me out more than my first day of grad school…

[aussie-the-hedgehog]

Okay, I think I need to do this for myself.

I've been rewatching MHA to gear up for season 7. However, it seems I'm also watching to prove something to myself.

It's been nearly a year, and I still greatly struggle with shame of having Ochako as my favorite character. I realize this is a drawn out topic on this blog, but I must air this grievance for the good of my mental sanity.

I feel whenever I'm on Twitter, I see many brutally slander her character. I see criticisms that she has no use in the show. I have witnessed posts circled with threats concerning the topic. It is making me further question why I enjoy the character as much as I do.

To be frank, I care A LOT about what people think - honestly to a fault. I was verbally bullied as a kid for how I looked (I had buck teeth, glasses, and social struggles due to sensory disorders and autism). I struggled to fit in through my elementary and middle school days. I was labeled as "weird" and "a teacher's pet" just to name a couple. I always felt compelled to prove myself to fit in with the kids of my classes.

I also was made fun of for being a Dallas Cowboys fan. Granted, I live an hour away from Philadelphia, but I was picked on quite a bit for liking them.

One day after school in fourth grade, I was on a bus heading to a rec center for after care. The Cowboys were playing the Eagles the ensuing Sunday. If you know anything about the NFL, these two are bitter rivals. They absolutely hate each other. The bus driver was aware I liked the Cowboys. He decided to start a chant on the bus ride, "Dallas sucks!" all the way there to the rec center. All the kids jumped in without hesitation.

I was horrified. I broke down crying. I felt like in that one moment the world was against me. There was a kid sitting next to me who tried to comfort me by saying he's on my side rooting for Dallas. I appreciated his support, but in that moment I just wanted to get off the bus.

When I got off, my mom was waiting and saw me in tears. She scolded the driver for making me cry over a football game. The bus driver was fired the next day.

I will admit I have come to terms with the teams I like (it helps the Cowboys are a meme), but it's still difficult being honest with the things I enjoy. This is especially the case when it comes to the hopeful, compassionate trope in shows.

I look on social media sites such as Twitter. I see all these vitriolic comments directed toward those who enjoy Ochako for no reason. I feel I've been indirectly abused because I am a part of her fandom.

I've said this before, and I'll say it again - she follows the trope I like. She's the glue that keeps the group together. She's loving and kind to everyone she meets. I honestly see her as an honest to goodness daughter. You can call it weird if you want, but it's how I feel.

Now, you can look at all of this and conclude I shouldn't be on Twitter. That is totally fair. I do need to limit my time on social media. However, this remains discouraging in my life. I started watching MHA last February and this issue STILL remains. I'm ashamed for enjoying something morally okay since the fandom is extremely harsh concerning her.

I feel it has to do with my past in being criticized for what I enjoy and seeing the fandom crush anyone who likes the character. Both have come together in such overwhelming ways.

Another factor is one I've mentioned before. I am a guy and should be liking more masculine things. In no way should I be interested in female characters or how they give hope in dire predicaments. Yet, it's something I find admirable because that's just what I like. I have to be alright with that.

In no way am I victimizing myself. This is a grievance I've had to get out. The toxicity from the fandom and my own negative thinking have gotten to my head for me to at least put my fingers to the keyboard. Writing is a cathartic practice for me. Crafting pieces like this is extremely healthy for me.

There isn't much more to be said about why I like Ochako Uraraka. I've made several posts why. You can look at those if you're so inclined. All in all, I hope one day I can be confident in why I enjoy characters like her and not feel a need to care about what others think.

Thanks for coming to my TED talk.

[jelenamasterpost]

2011 pt.II

July 1st:

Selena's new film Monte Carlo is officially released in theatres and Justin tweets out his support:

Justin: "Everyone go see @/selenagomez movie #montecarlo in theatres NOW"

*tweet here (x)

July 11th:

Justin and Selena are spotted/joined by fans singing karaoke at Lucky Strike Lanes in LA - one fan tweeted he was partying with the couple.

The two took to the microphone for an impromptu duet of Kid Rock and Sheryl Crow’s “Picture” and shared a kiss after their performance.

Videos later surfaced (x)

July 13th:

Justin and Selena attend The ESPY Awards together held at the Nokia Theatre in Los Angeles.

July 17th:

Justin and Selena crash a wedding in Malibu, California

TMZ reports:

According to our sources at the wedding, Justin and Selena were strolling on the beach when they heard Justin's song "One Less Lonely Girl" playing at the reception -- inside the historic and shi shi Adamson House.

We're told Justin snuck up on some guests -- who predictably OMG'd and LOL'd -- and then hopped on the mic, saying: "We just crashed it. We heard a party so we decided to just come. So let's party."

They only stayed for about 10 minutes to pose for pics -- including some with the happy couple -- and then bolted.

July 20th:

Justin visits Selena at a Hollywood studio while she rehearses for her upcoming tour

July 22nd:

Justin and Selena are spotted together shopping on her birthday - he posted a photo of the two on Instagram and tweeted:

“Happy Birthday @SelenaGomez gonna be a special day.”

*tweet here (x)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber)

July 24th:

Selena's We Own the Night World Tour begins tonight in Costa Mesa, California - Justin surprises her at the show and joins the stage to perform Justin Timberlake's Cry Me A River

He later tweets that night:

“@selenagomez u did great tonight. proud of u”

*full performance video here (x)

July 26th:

Justin and Selena are photographed out for lunch at Hooters in Burbank, California:

“Justin and Selena came in at about noon for lunch,”

“They were both really polite and signed a few autographs. They were both super-friendly and made the most adorable couple!”

July 28th:

Justin attends another one of Selena’s shows with friend Sean Kingston in Boca Raton Florida.

He posts a photo to his Instagram wearing her tour merch

*article here (x)

August 2nd:

Rumors began circulating that Justin and Selena may have broken up after a YouTube video went viral declaring that Selena found flirty texts Justin sent to his ex Jasmine - E!News later shot this down

Selena performs in Atlanta Georgia and Justin’s friends Alfredo and Carin attend the show. Justin tweets:

“ATL show @selenagomez love tonight! @alfredoflores and @carinmb are in the building i heard. #Beasts!”

*E! article here (x) / tweet here (x)

August 6th:

Alfredo posts a photo of him, Justin, Selena to Instagram captioned: “swimming with the boys :)” while Justin adds a photo of himself to Selena’s Instagram

August 7th:

Justin and Selena attend the 2011 Teen Choice Awards together and were super affectionate throughout the entire ceremony - Justin danced through Selena's performance of Love You Like A Love Song and cheered her on as she accepted her 5 awards

August 13th:

Justin and Selena are spotted in an Apple Store in Rosemont Illinois, while she's in town for tour

August 18th:

Justin and Selena attend a pool party and are photographed kissing - Justin also uploads a photo of the two on instagram captioned:

“my babbyyyy”

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber)

August 19th:

Justin and Selena are photographed as they picked up a smoothie from Smoothie King in Philadelphia, Pennsylvania where she performs later that evening on tour

During Selena’s soundcheck performance in Philadelphia, a fan shouts out asking for her phone number, Selena replies:

“I don’t think my boyfriend would like that”

*full video here (x)

August 20th:

Selena had “JB” written on her right hand and “I love you” on her left wrist during her concert in New Jersey

August 21st:

Justin and Selena are spotted walking in Hershey Park theme park, in Pennsylvania

August 23rd:

Justin and Selena are photographed out and about with Alfredo, Ryan and Kenny in Toronto, Ontario

August 25th:

Justin announces that he would be releasing his first Christmas album and second studio album later in 2011 -

His manager Scooter Braun and vocal producer Kuk Harrell confirmed a week later that Justin had collaborated with Sean Kingston and Taylor Swift and had also worked with producers The Messengers.

August 28th:

Justin and Selena attend MTV Video Music Awards together where Selena was a co-host for the pre-show - Selena interviewed Justin in the arrivals hall at the awards ceremony where the two were very affectionate sharing kisses, Selena telling Justin:

'Thank you so much. Thank you for hanging out, babe.'

Justin also hugged Selena onstage as he accepted the award for Best Male Video

September 2nd:

Selena watches while Justin plays basketball and cheers in the background

*video here (x)

September 9th:

Justin talks with Women's Wear Daily for an interview and mentions that he's dating Selena:

WWD: You told one of the kids earlier that you’re still friendly with Selena.

JB: She’s amazing. She’s my girlfriend right now.

WWD: Where do you see yourself five years from now?

JB: [Visibly counting] Well, by 25 or 26, I want to see myself, like, married or start looking for a family. I want to be a young dad. I want to be able to have done what I wanted to do — to be successful, to do a movie or whatever. But if the time is right, I definitely want to be married by 25.

One thing — I’m not looking to get married now.

*full interview (x)

September 10th:

Justin and Selena spotted out for lunch in Las Vegas, where Selena performs that evening - they later attend the shows after-party with DJ Taf

September 14th:

Justin and Selena visit the old-set of Wizards of Waverly Place

September 15th:

Justin and Selena attend “The Abduction” premiere at Grauman's Chinese Theatre in Los Angeles - Selena gets boo’d (?) by fans as she walks the red carpet.

September 16th:

Justin are Selena are photographed having lunch and doing a bit of shopping at a mall in Los Angeles

September 17th:

Justin and Selena are seen arriving to LAX Airport departing to Atlanta - later that evening, they attend Georgia Music Hall of Fame with Usher and Justin performs and was honored with the Horizon Award at the 33rd Annual Georgia Music Hall of Fame Awards.

*article here (x)

September 18th:

Justin and Selena went to watch the Atlanta Falcons play the Philadelphia Eagles at the Georgia Dome. Justin tweeted photos of themselves kissing on the way to the game.

While leaving the game, Selena is filmed slapping Justin, suggesting they may have been fighting

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber)

*full article here (x) full video here (x)

September 19th:

Selena attends The Jay Leno Show where she performs Love You Like A Love Song. Justin came to support Selena and was photographed with her backstage

Selena has a cute interview backstage with Bryan following her performance, Bryan points out that Selena brought Justin:

Selena: “I did. He’s sweet. Everybody’s taking pictures with him right now,”

After her interview, the camera flashes to Justin chatting with Simon Cowell. Before the couple say bye to Simon, Justin grabs Selena’s hip and tells Simon:

Justin: “I’ll look after her.”

*full article here (x)

September 20th:

Justin uploads a photo of him hugging Selena while deplaning a jet onto Instagram.

Justin and Selena are also spotted in the park taking staged photos with 6 babies (?) in which Justin also later uploads to his instagram captioned:

"Brangelina 2.0 hahahahahaha"

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber)

September 21st:

Justin and Selena attend LA Zoo together

September 23rd:

Selena and Justin are photographed on a PDA filled beach stroll in Malibu California

*Daily Mail article / photos (x)

September 23rd:

Selena and Justin attend Demi Lovato’s concert together held at the Nokia Centre in Los Angeles

After the show, Justin surprises Selena by renting out The Staples Centre arena for a private, exclusive dinner date and movie screening of Titanic:

"The teen supercouple arrived at the empty, 20,000-seat arena, where the lights had been dimmed; on the court floor was a table set for two with candles.

After the meal — steak and pasta, catered by the Lexus club — the couple enjoyed a private screening of Titanic. (The "Baby" singer apparently got the idea from the Adam Sandler flick Mr. Deeds, in which Sandler's character surprises his girlfriend, played by Winona Ryder, with a similar gesture at NYC's Madison Square Garden.)

And TMZ reports that Bieber paid nothing for the big date: The Staples Center comped the evening as thanks for Bieber's recent sold out concerts there."

*UsWeekly article here (x) *justin's tweet (x)

September 25th:

Justin’s best friend Alfredo posts instagram photo of him, Justin, Selena on private jet:

"BOOM BOOM POW! @/JustinBieber @/SelenaGomez -- see the creeper?"

*alfredo's tweet / photo (x)

September 28th:

Selena joins Justin in Franklin Tennessee on the set of his music video shoot for a song off his upcoming Chrismtas album, Under the Mistletoe.

Justin tweets:

“video shoot today for christmas album. #mistletoe”

September 30th:

Justin begins the Latin American leg of his My World Tour, beginning this evening in Monterrey Mexico and concluding October 19th in Caracas Venezuela.

Selena was judging a Disney Channel show with Sean Kingston when she met Ben Baller, the man who made Justin's grill. According to Ben, Selena wasn’t too stoked about meeting him originally, but then she concocted an idea to prank Justin, which he wrote about on his blog:

“Selena says ‘ohhhh I don’t like you! you’re the one who made Justin’s grill huh?’ I said yeah….. does he wear it?’ Selena said ‘YES! he definitely wears it! (stone face towards me) and I’m thinking to myself like damn…. she’s actually really sweet though, I can tell lol… so She says let’s play a prank on Justin…. and I agreed (why not right?) let’s take a pic and then send the guys the pic and under it say ‘guess who’s getting a grill?'”

“I didn’t say it was a joke or anything… a few hours later, I get a text from Justin saying ‘call me’ and I’m like…. damn, he’s gonna be mad or tell me to take it down….”

“He says ‘cmon bro. is she really getting a grill? (I’ve talked to him enough on the phone to know his voice and different sounds, from regular to really happy) and he was definitely concerned like ‘please say it’s a joke’…. so I’m thinking to myself, like damn, I know in the last 3 hours he’s had to have talked to his girl and he had to ask her…. I can’t believe she’s really stringing this little prank along for so long…. she’s really cool for playing the joke for real! haha”

*article here (x)

October 3rd:

Justin was seen looking for Selena in the airport in Rio de Janeiro because there was an issue with her visa.

Selena had some difficulty getting into Brazil because she didn’t have the correct visa

October 4th:

Justin and Selena take a helicopter ride while exploring Rio de Janeiro, Brazil before he takes the stage tomorrow.

An insider tells told Hollywood Life:

'Justin and Selena are staying at the Copacabana Palace in Rio de Janeiro, which is considered to be the most exclusive hotel in Rio.'

'They are staying in a Penthouse Suite which includes one bedroom with a king-sized bed, a living room, a mini bar and two marble bathrooms with a separate bathtub and shower.'

*Daily Mail article / photos (x)

October 5th:

Selena joins Justin backstage before he takes stage and poses for photos, while Justin tells a reporter he calls Selena “Mamacita” during an interview

After the concert, Justin and Selena were seen out for dinner, clubbing at Copa Club and kissing in the backseat of the car on their way back to the hotel

*DailyMail article here (x)

October 6th:

Selena and Justin are spotted by numerous fans around town before Justin’s second show this evening - that night, Selena joins Justin on stage and they perform Selena’s song Who Says together.

Justin tweeted earlier in the day:

"had a lil fun last night in RIO….show #2 in RIO is 2nite….got some very special guests with me 2nite #mistletoe"

*justin's tweet (x)

October 7th:

Justin and Selena are photographed boarding their plane as they leave Rio de Janeiro

October 9th:

Justin speaks with New! Magazine for an interview and admits he loves Selena but insists they have no plans to move in together because of their busy careers:

"I wouldn't be with somebody if I wasn't in love,"

"Everybody can see she is hot and that's great, but there is so much more to her than that. She makes me laugh and she puts up with my practical jokes. She has really strong family values as well. We were both raised by our moms in single-parent households, and that's given us a lot of the same family values in life."

"At the moment we're so busy, it's pretty much hotel rooms for me for most of the year. She could be in one part of the world and I could be in the other. We are just a young couple who are enjoying spending time with each other. But we both took time off last month and it was just really cool to be able to spend time together and just do normal things like go to the beach and have dinner together."

*full article here (x) and (x)

October 9th:

Justin gives a radio interview with 97.5 Fanatic Philadelphia:

Interviewer: What’s up with you and Selena man?

Justin: Well she’s on tour right now, so yeah.

Interviewer: Is this an official hookup?

Justin: Y‘know, I like to keep some of my private life to myself.

Interviewer: Well it’s already out there.

Justin: I know I mean it’s pretty obvious, but I don’t really like to talk about it.

Interviewer: I got you, you wanna keep it a private relationship - but how’d you swing that? It’s tough to get that break through line.

Justin: Yeah I know, I was pretty shocked myself. She’s very beautiful.

Interviewer: So how’d you make the approach? Did someone put you two together or what?

Justin: We started as friends like 2 years ago, so we were just friends for a long time - that’s how it happened.

October 12th:

Selena tweets a photo she added to instagram, of her eating Tim Hortons in Canada:

“Canada.. I missed you. But @justinbieber misses you more.”

*selena's tweet here (x)

October 17th:

Justin's song Mistletoe, the first single off his Christmas album, is officially released - Selena posted a photo of the song to her Instagram captioned:

“Finally it’s out.. Did y’all buy it?”

October 18th:

Justin performs the last show of his My World Tour this evening in Carasova Venezuela

October 20th:

Selena and Justin are spotted walking around The Forks shopping area in Winnipeg, Canada. Selena has the night off from her We Own the Night World Tour, but has a performance in the city tomorrow.

Insiders confirm that her and Justin are staying at the luxury boutique hotel Inn at the Forks in Winnipeg.

That evening, Justin again rents out an entire movie theatre for a date with Selena -he arranged for a screening room at the SilverCity Polo Park Cinemas to be kept empty so he and Selena could watch Real Steel' in private, and also rranged for pizzas to be delivered to the cinema for him and Selena to feast on during the movie.

A source at the venue said: "They made sure to keep everything really under wraps and private. He was really polite and they both thanked everyone before they left."

Justin uploads a photo of him and Selena in the theatre to Instagram captioned "me and my besty watching a movie"

*full article here (x)

View this post on Instagram

A post shared by Justin Bieber (@justinbieber)

October 21st:

Selena plays at the MTS Centre this evening in Winnipeg Manitoba, while on her We Own The Night World Tour.

Her and Justin stopped by Winnipeg's D'Arcy's Animal Rescue Centre for a visit and played with the dogs for over an hour - there were rumours that Selena took a pup with her

Justin and Selena are spotted by various fans throughout the day while out exploring Winnipeg, including Tim Hortons, and Speedworld Indoor Kart Track along with friend Ashley Cook

*full article here (x)

October 22nd:

Justin takes Selena to a hockey game to watch his favourite team, the Winnipeg Jets, from a private suite at the MTS Centre wearing matching jerseys with their names emblazoned across the backs. According to onlookers, they spent most of the game kissing and cuddling one another.

After the game, the two physically took to the ice both wearing Jets jerseys - after circling the ice a few times holding hands, Selena didn't skate much at all, preferring to watch Justin take shots at net.

*full article here (x)

October 24rd:

Selena is in London, Ontario for her We Own The Night World Tour and was seen carrying puppy Baylor around backstage before her concert wearing a Baylor University sweatshirt.

*photo here (x)

October 24th-October 29th(?):

Selena’s tour continues through October 30th in Canada and Justin remains with her for most of the dates - sometime throughout this period, they visited and spent time with Justin's family and are photographed together carving pumpkins and eating pie.

October 25th:

Its been reported that Selena and Justin have adopted a puppy together from D'Arcy's ARC while in Winnipeg, Canada:

“I was told that [Selena] was missing the dogs that she has at home,” the shelter’s CEO told People. “I wasn’t expecting her to adopt a dog while she was on tour.”

*full article here (x)

October 27th:

Justin sat down with Access Hollywood’s Billy Bush while promoting his new Christmas album, “Under the Mistletoe,” and chatted about Selena’s new puppy and their private movie theatre date

Baylor:

“She saw this dog, and she fell in love with it. She was like, ‘I need to have it!’ We just went to the shelter just to look around. Turns out, she brought one home. It was kind of like she just saw the dog, and it kept going to her, I don’t think the dog really likes me that much. I think he’s on tour with her right now,”

Movies:

“If I go into a movie theatre and everyone’s not looking at the movie and looking at us, it’s kind of like awkward, I’m looking at the movie and everyone’s looking at me. It’s like I’m the movie or something.”

*full article here (x)

October 28th:

Justin appears on Jay Leno and talks about Selena - she is in attendance and her and Justin pose for photos backstage

November 1st:

Justin’s Christmas album “Under The Mistletoe” is officially released today - he begins shooting the Fa La La Music video with Boys II Men and Selena joins him on set posing for photos together.

Later that evening, a tabloid story about Justin began circulating online:

A 20-year old woman named Mariah Yeater has filed a paternity suit against Justin on October 31st, alleging that he fathered her child after a brief backstage tryst at Justin’s October 2010 L.A Staples Centre concert. The paternity suit was reportedly filed on October 31st in a California court.

*Mariah Yeater article here (x)

November 2nd:

Justin on appears on On Air With Ryan Seacrest to promote his new Christmas album “Under The Mistletoe” and he mentions Selena's newly adopted dog Baylor

He also later appears on POWER106 FM during his “Under The Mistletoe” promo, rapping an Otis freestyle referencing Selena:

“my girl says I’m perfect she just loves an imperfect person perfectly, personally I think she is perfectly perfect"

Later that day Justin tweets alluding to the Mariah accusations:

“all the rumors...the gossip....Im gonna focus on the positives....the music."

*POWER106 video here (x) tweet here (x)

November 3rd: '

Selena was photographed arriving to LAX Airport in Los Angeles, heading to Belfast to meet Justin, and was all smiles.

Meanwhile, the Mariah Yeater rumours have not settled down whatsoever as the tabloids continue and Mariah continues to give interviews

*DailyMail article here (x) AnythingDiz photos here (x)

November 4th:

Justin gives an interview to Today Show to dismiss Mariah Yeater’s claims and says he's never even met her:

“I would just like to say that none of those allegations are true.”

“I know I’m going to be a target, but I’m never going to be a victim,” Justin added.

“It’s crazy, because every night after the show I’ve gone right from the stage right to my car. So it’s crazy that some people want to make up such false allegations.”

A statement released by Justin’s publicist on Wednesday said his lawyers had not seen the suit reportedly filed by Yeater, but said:

“it’s sad that someone would fabricate, malicious, defamatory and demonstrably false claims. We will vigorously pursue all available legal remedies to defend and protect Justin against these allegations.”

Rumors begin circulating that Selena and Justin have split in light of the Mariah Yeater allegations - late Friday afternoon, it was reported Selena had dumped Justin in the wake of the scandal.

*Today Show article here (x)

November 5th:

Justin and Selena have not split up, a rep for Selena told Access Hollywood and USWeekly on Friday night.

A source close to Justin also shot down rumors of the split on Friday night, telling Access that there was no truth to the rumors and the couple is still heading to Europe together this weekend for the MTV Europe Music Awards in Belfast where Justin will be performing at the show while Selena will be the host.

*AccessHollywood article here (x) UsWeekly article here (x)

November 5th:

Justin and Selena wave to fans as they arrive together at the Merchant Hotel in Belfast, Northern Ireland.

Later that evening, Justin and Selena are later photographed together hand-in-hand arriving at the MTV Voices Dinner.

"Justin and Selena could not keep their eyes off each other for the whole night," a dinner source told Us. "They were very much in love and didn't show any signs of stress or strain in their relationship."

Justin, who was receiving an award for his charity work, tweeted after the event:

"I know what it is like to not have alot...so it feels great to be in a position to #giveback. thanks to everyone helping me"

*photos here (x) UsWeekly article here (x)

November 6th:

TMZ reports from sources directly connected with Justin that he will happily take a DNA test in two weeks when he returns to the United States to prove he is not Mariah Yeater's baby daddy -- and after that, him and his team are going after her in court.

Selena hosts the MTV Europe Music Awards in Belfast, North Ireland this evening while Justin is set to perform at the event. After the ceremony, they attend LMFAO'S after-party and are photographed together at the event

*TMZ article here (x) photos here (x) / tweets here (x) (x) (x)

November 7th:

Justin and Selena are photographed after their private tour of Chelsea FC’s football ground in London on Monday morning

It's been reported that Justin gifted Selena $27k diamond bracelet and surprised her with it just before she took the stage to present at last night’s MTV EMA’s

*full article here (x) photos here (x)

November 8th:

Justin and Selena stop by NRJ Radio station Paris, France for an interview while Justin is promoting his Christmas album

Later that afternoon, Justin and Selena are photographed together hand-in-hand after a lunch date at Paris's L'Avenue restaurant

And that evening they were photographed on a dinner date

*DailyMail article (x) dinner photo (x)

November 9th:

Selena and Justin are photographed shopping while in Paris

Justin posts a photo of him and Selena on Instagram at Disneyland Paris with the caption:

“thank god above for my very own christmas love”

November 11th:

Justin and Selena hold hands as they head back to their car after visiting a television studio in Madrid, Spain

Selena has been joining Justin on his European promo tour for Under The Mistletoe.

Selena tweets that her puppy Baylor is sick and needs surgery.

*full article here (x) tweet here (x)

November 12th:

Selena and Justin are spotted leaving KISS FM Radio station together in London

*DailyMail article (x)

November 16th:

Selena’s music video for Hit The Lights is officially released and premieres on VEVO

TMZ reports thatMariah Yeater officially dismisses paternity lawsuit:

"The suit was quietly dismissed late last week and Mariah Yeater's lawyers, Lance Rogers and Matt Pare, have withdrawn from the case.

As we first reported, Justin not only planned to take a DNA test when he returned to the U.S., he was going to sue Yeater and her lawyers for making a bogus claim. And, as we reported, Justin's lawyer, Howard Weitzman, called the attorneys and informed them a suit was looming.

The paternity lawsuit left Mariah Yeater open to a possible charge of statutory rape, because Justin was only 16 years old at the time of her claims."

*TMZ article here (x)

November 17th:

Justin does the radio interview circuit today while in New York City in promotion of his album Under The Mistletoe:

Justin sits down with 92.3 NY for a radio interview and was asked about Mariah Yeater's claims, getting serious with Selena, and what Usher thinks of them.

They first speak about Mariah Yeater and the texts she sent her friend begging him to erase evidence/text messages that admit her son's dad is someone else, promising to give him a cut of the action when she gets paid.

*full video interview here (x)

Justin sat down for an exclusive interview at the Elvis Duran Morning Show at Z100 Studio where they replayed him an interview he gave back in 2009 saying while he thought Selena was pretty, he didn't *like* her.

Justin, blushing, tells Elvis:

"My life is pretty good right now, and she's just another blessing”

*full video interview here (x)

Justin appears on The Breakfast Club Power 105.1 for an interview and talks about his Staples Centre date with Selena and how that came about

(the interviewers are pretty inappropriate to him the entire time tbh)

*full video interview here (x)

November 17th:

Mariah Yeater sent a text Wednesday to a friend, begging him to erase an incriminating text in which her mom says someone OTHER than Justin Bieber is the baby daddy, and then promising to give him a cut of the action when she scores a payday.

*TMZ article here (x)

November 20th:

Justin and Selena attend The AMA’s together in Los Angeles and walk the red carpet, arriving and departing to and from the event in a white vintage Packard Super 8.

UsWeekly reported Justin serenaded Selena during AMA rehearsals:

"At one point Justin even sang 'I Feel Good' a la James Brown. They were totally adorable. They were snuggling in between takes, and he was serenading her! They look as in love as ever."

Selena and Alfredo were filmed dancing during Justin's performance

*DailyMail article here (x)

November 21st:

Justin and Selena went out for breakfast at iHOP, the restaurant where they were first spotted holding hands last December, with their one year anniversary right around the corner — they smiled for the cameras as they walked hand-in-hand out of the restaurant in Los Angeles.

“Justin Bieber and Selena Gomez had breakfast here at about 11 a.m. They were here for about one hour. They both seemed very happy and hungry. Selena had the double blueberry pancakes and Justin had two fried eggs, two waffles, bacon and potatoes. They left a very generous tip that was double the amount of their bill and said Happy Thanksgiving before they left!”

*full article here (x)

November 22nd:

Justin is photographed in the audience of Taylor Swift’s concert in New York City where he watched Selena and Taylor performing “Who Says” together

*photo here (x)

November 23rd:

Justin appears on The View to promote his album and he talks about Selena

*full video here (x) timestamp 2:33

November 23rd:

Justin appears on The Late Show with David Letterman and talks about Selena

*full video here (x) timestamp 8:45

November 25th:

Justin plays “Who Says” on Sirius XM while he was DJing songs “he was grateful for in 2011” (aired on the 25th)

November 25th:

Justin and Selena spent Thanksgiving in Selena's home town, Dallas, Texas, with Selena's family.

They went to watch The Muppets at the Landmark Magnolia Pictures Theater, after spending Thanksgiving with Selena’s family.

“It was just the two of them, they watched the movie with the general public. They were both incredibly polite and low profile.”

“Not too many people realized they were there because they came into the screening while the trailers were running,” the insider explains. “It was dark and people didn’t see them. When they came to the theatre complex, they were both holding hands. They looked really down to earth and very happy!”

November 29th:

Fans spot and photograph Justin and Selena hugging and walking around in Utah with Jaden Smith.

The three of them were later photographed by fans ice skating at Park City Mountain Resort, which later a staff member confirmed the photo was taken there:

“Jaden was doing some crazy one-legged stuff, I guess he really thinks he is the Karate Kid. They were laughing and joking with each other. Justin joked with Selena and tried to do a doubles routine at one point. It was all very playful. Everyone was in super great moods.”

*full article / photos here (x)

November 30th:

Selena stops to take photos with fans while ice skating, where you can see Justin in the background - the fan later posts it to instagram

December 6th:

Justin and Selena were spotted leaving Los Angeles airport earlier today and landed in Cabo San Lucas, Mexico.

They were joined by Selena’s mom and stepfather Brian and on route to Selena’s friend Shannon Larossi’s beach side wedding ceremony.

*full article / photos here (x)

December 7th:

While waiting for Selena’s friend’s wedding, Justin and Selena hit up the beach in Cabo San Lucas Mexico and were spotted jet-skiing

*full article / photos here (x)

December 8th:

Selena and Justin attend and are photographed at Shannon’s wedding where Selena was one of the bridesmaids - she and Justin were photographed kissing on the beach

*full article / photos here (x)

December 9th:

Justin and Selena got in more tanning by the pool in Cabo before jetting off to D.C for Justin’s Christmas in Washington performance in Washington

*full article / photos here (x)

December 10th:

Justin and Selena are photographed arriving at Washington National Airport for Justin’s upcoming Christmas In Washington performance at The White House - the two stayed for 3 nights in the Presidential Suite at the Four Seasons Hotel

Justin and Selena visit and surprise the kids at Children's National Medical Center in D.C.Washington - Jacqueline Bowens, Executive VP of External Affairs of Children’s National Medical Center tells HollywoodLife.com exclusively:

“The kids loved them! It was a surprise for them. Justin spent quality time with all of the kids, talked to them, took pictures with them and sang to them. These are kids who are suffering from a range of illnesses such as cancer, blood disorders, orthopedic issues. None of them wants to be in the hospital…so they were beyond happy when Justin and the others arrived for their surprise visit!”

December 11th:

Justin and Selena are spotted out and about in Washington D.C before Justin is set to perform for the president.

Later that evening, Justin performs at the annual "Christmas in Washington" taping at the National Building Museum in Washington, D.C. - although Selena didn’t appear in any of the official event photos, she was spotted in the audience and took photos with fans

*full DailyMail article here (x) / full CBS article here (x)

December 12th:

Mariah Yeater’s ex-boyfriend speaks out, saying Mariah lied to seek $50k pay-day. In an exclusive jailhouse interview with RumorFix, Robert Powell says:

“She lied. We were both homeless and living in Oceanside [California] and Mariah was trying to make some quick money.”

So he says she made up the story and sold it to a tabloid for $50,000.

“She just picked him, because she thought he was famous and all and thought she could get a lot of money by telling the magazine Justin was the father. She just saw him as an opportunity to make a lot of money.”

*full article here (x)

December 14th:

Justin and Selena were seen leaving an event at L.A. Live with Ashley Tisdale in Downtown Los Angeles.

*photos here (x)

December 17th:

Justin and Selena attend Power 106 LA's Cali Christmas bash - Justin joined Drake on stage to perform "Trust Issues" during the show.

Selena abruptly left the venue and headed to be with her family after she received news of a family emergency.

*full article here (x)

December 18th:

Selena’s mom Mandy has tragically suffered a miscarriage - Selena has cancelled her concert after her mother sadly suffered a miscarriage. Citing a family emergency, Selena rushed to her mom, Mandy’s, side to comfort her.

*full article here (x)

December 20th:

Justin visits Selena and her mom Mandy in the hospital - the family are in mourning after Selena’s mother reportedly suffered a miscarriage the week prior

*DailyMail article here (x)

December 30th:

Justin and Selena are spotted at Hooters (not confirmed)

December 31st:

Justin and Selena are both in New York for each of their own work obligations where they are set to perform at - Justin performs in Times Square for 'New Year's Eve Rockin' Eve' and Selena joins Demi Lovato for MTV's live New Year's Eve special.

They meet up after each of their gigs for Justin's private NYE Party

*EW article here (x) / NYE party article here (x)

[bigballofstress]

To Share an Armchair (Tom Holland x Actress!Reader)

Description:  You and Tom appear on Conan to promote your new movie together, Spider-Man: Homecoming.  Little do you know, Tom has a bit more planned than your usual run-of-the-mill interview.

Prequel to The Interview

I took a deep, nervous breath, my hands wringing together as I looked out into the absolutely packed audience.

“You’ll be fine,” a warm, comforting presence appeared behind me.  I turned quickly to see my best friend, Tom, smiling down at me.  “They love you, and you love them.”

I smiled a bit.  He always seemed to know just what to say to make me feel better.

Tom and I had been working together since the filming of Captain America: Civil War, where I’d played another of Tony’s young recruits.  Now, with the new Spider-Man movie coming out, we were sent to advertise the release.  So, there we stood, on the set of Conan, ready give yet another interview.  Except, this time, we’d be promoting the movie by ourselves.  “I’m just not very used to going out there without an older cast member or producer or something,” I sighed.

“Just be your usual funny, witty, charming self, and I promise you that everything will turn out well,” Tom reassured me.

I nodded firmly in an effort to strengthen my resolve.  “Thanks, Tom.”

“Anytime, sweetcheeks,” he grinned.  I rolled my eyes playfully at the cheesy nickname that he had taken to calling me ever since our second week of filming, claiming that my ‘cheeks were too sweet to be called anything else.’

“And now, please welcome Tom Holland and (Y/N) (L/N) to the stage!” Conan shouted.  Tom walked out, and I quickly followed.  The lights were practically blinding, and my ears were ringing from the very, very loud cheers.  I shook off my fears and muscled my way past the almost overwhelming scene to grin and wave with both hands to the audience before moving to take my seat.

The only armchair available was already occupied by a certain web slinger.  I pouted and crossed my arms.  “I was going to sit there!”

“Well, I’m already here.  Sorry, sweetcheeks,” Tom smirked up at me, settling further into the very comfortable looking chair.

I frowned.  “Aw, c’mon, Tommy!  Pleeeease?” I tilted my chin down and sent him my best puppy dogs.

Tom shook his head.  “Hey, you can sit anywhere you want, but I’m not moving.”

My lips immediately quirked upwards.  “Ok!” I quickly responded before plopping myself down sideways across Tom’s lap with my legs hanging over the other armrest.  His hands reflexively went to my waist in an effort to stabilize me.  Tom stared at me in shock, and I just grinned back triumphantly.

I turned to look at Conan, who was watching the whole ordeal go down with an amused smile.  “Hi, Conan,” I grinned.

The tall man chuckled.  “Hi, (Y/N).”

I had to flip my head upside down to look at Andy, as the armrest that my back was leaning against was the one facing him.  “Nothing personal, I just really wanted the chair.”

Andy scoffed in fake hurt.  “Yeah, sure.  Just pretend you’re not repulsed by me.”

“Well, I am a pretty good actress,” I shrugged, pretending to think it over.

Conan barked out a laugh, and I grinned, straightening back up and settling further into Tom’s lap.  “So I guess (ship name) is real?” Conan chuckled, wiggling his eyebrows.

My face went bright red, and I scoffed.  “Yeah, just about as real as Candy,” I bit back in an attempt to misdirect from my extreme embarrassment.

Conan laughed his big belly laugh again.  “No, (Y/N)’s just unbelievably stubborn is all,” Tom added with a slight shake of his head.

“I’ve heard a few rumors, though, about the two of you,” Conan continued.  “A lot of people are talking about a recent incident involving gymnastics?”

I groaned and hid my face in Tom’s chest.  “Yeah, she was just so graceful,” Tom chuckled.

I hit his arm with a pout.  “Oh, shut up.  It really hurt, ok?”

Tom grinned and turned to Conan.  “You see, we’ve had a wager going on for quite a while over who was the better actor.  So, when we got off set early one day, we decided to prove it once and for all.  We each invented a character for the other to play.  I was supposed to be a foul-tempered, incredibly avid fan of some sort of predatory bird--”

“The eagles, Tom,” I rolled my eyes.  “You were playing a fan of the Philadelphia Eagles.  Anyways, Tommy here had decided to make me a world class gymnast.  You know, because I’m so experienced.”

“Whoever was revealed to be lying about their identity first would lose the bet,” Tom continued.  “And he or she would have to do one thing the other asked, no matter what it was.”

“It didn’t go very well,” I sighed, cringing slightly at the memory.  “And I still maintain that I won, by the way!”

Tom shook his head.  “Not a chance, sweetcheeks.  You see, we were talking to a wonderful young lady on the street when I noticed (Y/N) getting a bit excited.  Turns out, she’d noticed a Philadelphia sticker on the woman’s bag.  So she started raving about how much I loved the Eagles and all of the Philadelphia teams.  Naturally, I began talking of her supposed experience in gymnastics.  The woman was rather impressed and asked if she could see her do a flip.”

“Meanwhile, I can’t do any sort of gymnastics to save my life,” I scoffed.  “So instead of flipping, I asked Tom what sport the Eagles play.”  The audience laughed a bit.  “He couldn’t respond, and voila!  I win!”

“Not quite,” Tom chuckled.  “That woman didn’t say a word until you tried to do a flip and landed directly on your bum.  She caught you first, pointing out that you weren’t a gymnast.  Only afterwards did she say I had no idea where Philadelphia even was.”

I frowned.  “Yeah, but she knew you were faking it first.”

“Those weren’t the rules, sweetcheeks,” Tom grinned.  I rolled my eyes.

I’d barely taken notice of the loud laughter until Conan spoke up again between chuckles.  “Here’s a clip from the new Spider-Man: Homecoming in theaters July 7, check it out!”

While the clip played, Tom grinned and poked me in the side.  “You know, I still get to ask you that favor.”

“Fine, I concede.  What do you want, Holland?” I rolled my eyes again.

“You’ll see in just a moment,” he answered, wiggling his eyebrows at me.

I snorted softly in an attempt not to laugh over the preview being played.  “What the heck was that?”

“I was being mysterious!” He defended.

“You looked like you’d lost all control over your facial muscles,” I smirked.

Tom frowned, but before he could reply, the lights came back on.  So instead, he turned to look at our host.  “Conan, before we go, can I ask a favor?”

Conan nodded.  Tom gently picked me up while he stood, placing me back in the seat.  He walked towards the edge of the stage.  I leaned over to Andy.  “Do you have any idea what’s going on?” I stage whispered.

“Yeah, but I’m not telling you.  You didn’t want to sit next to me,” Andy responded with a humph, crossing his arms.  I laughed at his antics.

Tom had returned by that point.  In his arms was the most adorable little creature I’d ever seen in my entire life.  “This is Firestar,” he said, holding up the absolutely precious chocolate lab puppy.  “She’s incredibly stubborn, so I thought you two might get along.”

“Tom, I can’t believe you!” I squealed, accepting the puppy without hesitation.  She immediately started trying to lick my face.

“Now, if you don’t mind, I’d like to call in that favor you owe me.”  I glanced up at him suspiciously.  Tom just smiled.  “Go with me to the premier?  As my date?” Tom stood before me nervously, his cheeks bright red, while he anticipated my answer.

My eyes widened, and my breath caught in my throat.  I couldn’t believe he’d actually just asked me out.  Of course I had fantasized about this, but I never actually thought it would happen.

“Say yes!” I random shout from somewhere in the crowd startled me out of my trance.

My face broke out into a huge grin, and I nodded quickly.  “Of course I’ll go with you, you big dummy!” I said, hiding my immense excitement behind the small joke.

Tom’s nervousness melted into happiness, and he rushed forward to hug me, taking care not to crush the puppy between us.

“Tom Holland and (Y/N) (L/N), everybody!” Conan shouted above the cheers.  “Now officially (ship name)!” The cheers and screams got even louder, and I laughed, almost having to cover my ears.  We were both soon ushered off the stage to make way for whoever was next to appear on the show.

When we finally had a minute to breath, I turned to Tom.  “I can’t believe you got me a puppy,” I laughed.  My smiled was still plastered to my face, and I had a feeling it wasn’t going away anytime soon.

“Everyone gets flowers,” Tom shrugged.  I laughed and shook my head.  “So there is one other thing I need to know before we can go on a date.”

My brow furrowed slightly, and my smile wavered.  “What is it?” I asked warily.

“What color is your dress?  I have to know what I’m matching my tie to.”

I pursed my lips in pretend anger, despite the smile that still managed to peak through.  “You jerk, you really had my scared!” I hit his arm.

“Ow!” Tom complained.  He grabbed my hand as it was gearing up to hit him again and pulled me into another hug, still softly chuckling my hair.  I grinned and cradled my new puppy to my chest, who’d already fallen asleep after all the excitement.  I was going to go on a date with Tom Holland.  Maybe I’ll even get to be his girlfriend!

[inthedayswhenlandswerefew]

But You Can Never Leave [Chapter 8: The Light]

Hi y’all! Thank you so much for reading and supporting my writing. Each and every message/reblog/comment/etc makes me smile, and it’s a dream come true to get to share my work with you! 💜

Chapter summary: John shares a secret; Y/N excels at Scrabble; Brian makes peace; Roger suffers a misstep.

This series is a work of fiction, and is (very) loosely inspired by real people and events. Absolutely no offense is meant to actual Queen or their families.

Song inspiration: Hotel California by The Eagles.

Chapter warnings: Language, medical stuff, pregnancy (not who you think!).

Chapter list (and all my writing) available HERE

Taglist: @queen-turtle-boiii​ @loveandbeloved29​ @killer-queen-xo​ @maggieroseevans​ @imnotvibingveryguccimrstark​ @im-an-adult-ish​ @queenlover05​ @someforeigntragedy​ @imtheinvisiblequeen​ @joemazzmatazz​ @seven-seas-of-ham-on-rhye​ @namelesslosers​ @inthegardensofourminds​ @deacyblues​ @youngpastafanmug​ @sleepretreat​ @hardyshoe​ @bramblesforbreakfast​ @sevenseasofcats​ @tensecondvacation​ @bookandband​ @queen-crue​ @jennyggggrrr​ @madeinheavxn​ @whatgoeson-itslate​ @brianssixpence​ @simonedk​

Please yell at me if I forget to tag you! :)

Medicine teaches you to be fiercely skeptical of things that seem too good to be true. Bodies fail—completely and inevitably, though the timing may differ—and patients lie. Medical records don’t, fingerprints don’t, track marks up the underside of an arm don’t, blood and paternity tests don’t, oftentimes the eyes don’t; but given half a chance, people will lie themselves right into the grave.

Those bruises, doc? Got ‘em from a nasty fall down the stairs. I’m lucky I didn’t break my neck!

Nope, never done drugs, not even a joint, I swear on my mother’s life.

I’ll give it up, I’ll go to rehab. Never again. I promise. I don’t want to die.

Doc, I don’t care if the timing doesn’t seem quite right. My husband IS the father. There’s been no one else!

That doting fiancé is flirting with the nurses. Those grown-up children who fluff pillows and dab away tears are asking about the will. That wife is never going to testify against her abusive husband. That addict is going to relapse again...and again...and again. Are there exceptions? Of course. But if you get in the habit of trusting people—of believing all those tantalizingly attractive, hopeful lies—it’ll break your heart six ways to Sunday. There is no perfection in medicine, and there are very rarely miracles.

And so during those first few weeks with Roger—as you watch him from the reeling crowd, from the other side of the tour bus, from across the restaurant table, from the tiny viewfinder of the Canon F-1—you can’t stop searching for the cracks, the shadows, the lies, the dark malignancies breeding beneath the surface. Because everything about Roger Taylor is too good to be true. He’s bright and he’s loud and he’s brilliant and he’s always smiling, always warm. He careens backstage after every show—you keep bracing yourself not to be disappointed when the novelty wears away, when it ends, but it doesn’t—pushing aside roadies and reporters, shouting “Where’s the love of my life? Where’s my Boston babe?” with the most absurd grin you’ve ever seen until he finds you, collides with you, scoops you up and spins you in ungainly circles as your toes skim the floor. Then he cradles your face in his scarred hands and kisses you, breathes you in, tells you everything about the show (even though you were there to see it) in a rush of pure, manic adrenaline. And you stumble into some dressing room together—or a hotel room, or a taxi, or a limousine, or an elevator—and finally it’s your bare thighs his palms are gliding over, your tongue tasting the Heineken and craving on his lips, and it feels impossible for that to ever change. Roger is too good to be true, that’s undeniable; but when you watch him with those doubtful, cautious eyes, you can’t find anything but light.

He wakes up at 6 a.m. to join you on a bayou tour in New Orleans, taps his cigarette over the moss-covered sides of the boat, points out the alligators with leathered skin and ancient yellow irises lurking in the depths. He walks Fremont Street with you in Las Vegas and makes you choose his numbers for the Roulette wheel, for his fate. He snaps photos of you on a sun-drenched balcony in Miami, roaring cobalt waves crashing in the background. He takes you to the Metropolitan Museum of Art in New York City, the Art Institute of Chicago, the National Aquarium in Baltimore, the Philadelphia Zoo, Myrtle Beach and the Saint Louis Arch and the Santa Monica Pier. Because he was telling the truth when he said he could show you the world all those months ago when Queen was at Top of the Pops; he was telling you the truth about the list that’s etched into the rushing scarlet chambers of his heart.

When the American leg of the tour ends and the band gets a brief reprieve in London, you move into Roger’s paltry, disorganized flat and scrub away all the remnants of his past life: dust and empty cigarette boxes and women’s socks, ashes and copies of Vogue, a tube of lipstick that isn’t yours. You don’t complain, don’t even frown; you’re under no delusions that something eternal can be founded on resentment, on lies. And so you clear out the clutter and open the windows so sunshine and crisp spring air can breathe through the apartment, so you can both start fresh along with the bellflowers and delphiniums and roses and the tawny newborn ducklings scampering behind their mothers. You hang photos from the tour and John’s sketches on the refrigerator, place your Canon F-1 and pink conch shell from Ostia on the nightstand, litter the drawers with your own socks and makeup. You teach Roger how to sew (although he’s not much good at it) and how to treat blisters (although you’ll always be there to do it for him); and in return Roger teaches you how to trust, how to believe, how to stop searching desperately for faults in the light.  

On the second day of April, Queen boards their flight to Tokyo. Brian settles into a plushy, billowing blanket and loses himself in an astronomy magazine; he’s an engaged man now, an honest man in the eyes of society at large...and, far more importantly, his parents. Freddie pens lyrics in his notebook, humming disjointedly, napping like a cat when the mood strikes him. Roger snacks constantly and tries to get John chatting, but John is particularly subdued today, preoccupied, prone to gazing unfocusedly at the clouds that drift by outside and wringing his hands.

And you think, as you peer down into the glistening sapphire waters of the East China Sea: Brian’s a willow tree, Freddie’s a lightning storm, Roger is wildfire...but what is John?

Something deep, something beautiful and strong and constant and hidden.

The ocean, you decide as Queen’s private plane soars over the quicksilver waves that conceal the abyss. John is the ocean.

~~~~~~~~~~

“You didn’t have to stay, you know.”

John is lying on his back under a small grove of cherry blossom trees outside the hotel, sketching grey outlines of petals and arcing branches in a new notebook. He hasn’t given any sign that he heard you coming, doesn’t turn his head to see you. You freeze, startled.

“How’d you know it was me?!”

“You have very distinct footsteps. Dainty, yet purposeful.” He sets aside his notebook and sits up, crossing his long legs. “Why didn’t you go to lunch?”

“Because you didn’t. You turned down ramen, and you never turn down ramen. I was worried. Plus someone has to make sure a roving posse of screaming Japanese girls doesn’t carry you off.”

That makes him laugh. The Japanese fans are inexplicably obsessed with John; or maybe it’s not so inexplicable, maybe they just have a better eye for quiet, unassuming wonders. “Always so thoughtful.”

You sit down beside him, open a pack of chocolate-flavored Pocky and offer John a piece, frown when he lights a cigarette instead. “That’s really bad for you. Seriously. You should quit.”

“At last. One thing you and Brian agree on.” He exhales a gale of smoke and peers up at the cherry blossoms.

“John?”

“Yeah.”

“You didn’t break up with Veronica, did you?” Chrissie and Mary didn’t mention anything about her tearful devastation, and you suspect they would have had John gone through with it.

He sighs. “I did not.”

“And...are we feeling...okay about that...?”

He twirls the cigarette nervously between his fingers. After a silence, he surrenders. “Look, I haven’t told anybody yet, but I’d tell you first anyway. So here it goes.” He glances over at you guiltily, gloomily, wishing he could disappear. “I didn’t break up with Veronica because she’s pregnant.”

Your jaw falls open. A half-eaten stick of Pocky rolls out of your mouth and onto the grass. She’s what? She’s WHAT?

“Please don’t be disappointed,” John pleads. “I’m disappointed in myself enough for both of us, believe me.”

“I...I...I’m not disappointed, John, I’m just...” You blink at him. “Oh my god.”

He nods, acquiescent. “I’m in complete agreement.”

You shake your head, gaping at him, stunned; and suddenly you don’t like what you’re feeling at all. Because it isn’t just shock and horror, it isn’t just apprehension. You hate the thought of him touching her, of her delicate white hands on him, of innocence stripped away and memories impressed into muscle, into soul.

Because you know she’s not right for him. Because you know he doesn’t love her the way he should. Because you want the best for him and always have.

Oh, there’s a comforting rationale; but is it true?

And then: You fucking hypocrite. Since when do you get an opinion on who anyone sleeps with?

“It must have happened in January,” John says miserably. “Right before we left for the States. She didn’t want to tell me over the phone...I guess maybe she thought if she did I’d never come back. So she told me as soon as I landed in London. And here we all are.”

You stare down at your shoes, trying to compose yourself. “What are you going to do?”

“There’s only one option.”

“Actually, there are quite a few. But I know you’d never consider them.” John’s father died when he was ten, and he never talks about it; which is precisely how you know it’s a wound that can’t ever heal, a gash that goes straight down to the bone. He would never leave his child, never banish them to some dusty, repressed corner of his consciousness while he moves on with a blissfully unencumbered life. You whisper: “I’m so fucking sorry, John.”

That snaps something in him, something he was choking back. He buries his face in his hands. “What the fuck am I doing?” he moans. “I’m twenty-three years old, I’m broke, I turned down loads of jobs, good jobs, as an electrical engineer, I’ve somehow become the bassist in an increasingly famous rock band...I mean, how the hell did this happen? How did any of this happen?”

“It’ll be okay,” you insist with newfound resolve. I have to save him. I have to protect him.

John rolls those soft greyish eyes, hopeless, distraught. “Sure.”

“It will be, I promise you. The tour is going great. I had my doubts about the band when I first met you, I’ll admit it, I didn’t know if there was a future for Queen. But you’ve made me a believer. You’ve made millions of people all over the world believers. The money will keep rolling in, Queen will finally start seeing some of it, you won’t be broke forever. You’ll have two more months on the road and then we’ll be back in London, and it’ll be on to recording the next album, more shows, more money...the hard times are almost over, John. You can do this. And I’ll help you.”

His brow furrows. “You will?”

“Of course. If it’s easier for Veronica, it’ll be easier for you. So I’ll be extra friendly, take her to appointments when you’re busy, help organize the wedding, babysit the littlest Deacon whenever she needs me to. We’ll get through this. I’ll be there to help every step of the way.”

“You’re happy, aren’t you?” he asks suddenly. “You and Roger. You aren’t going anywhere.” He’s reading you closely, sifting through your words and forced smile for something deeper.

“I’m happy,” you assure him. “You don’t need to be concerned about that. I’m staying with the band, I’m staying in London. Whenever Queen is home, that is.”

He nods, but perhaps that wasn’t exactly what he was looking for. He finally accepts a piece of Pocky from you and takes a bite. “Then I guess we’ll plan for a summer wedding.”

“You could do a double one with Brian and Chrissie.”

He laughs so hard he almost inhales the Pocky, then doubles over coughing. “I think Bri would rather slit his own throat, but a charming thought. Thank you for that. Bravo.”

You smile at John, genuinely this time. “You’re going to be an amazing father. I hope you aren’t worried about that part of it, at least.”

“Will you be their godparent?”

“What? Me?!”

“Yeah. Because, you know...” John averts his gaze. “You’d be the person I would want to raise them if something happened to me and Veronica. You’re the most dedicated, stubborn, capable, nurturing, remarkable person I’ve ever met. You’re my best friend. And maybe Roger’s your best friend and you’re his, and that’s all fine, that’s alright, but you’re still mine.”

“Roger is a lot of incredible things, but he’s not my best friend.” You lie flat on the grass and lace your hands behind your head, tracking the weightless snowy clouds as they float by above. When did we become adults? When did all of these rules catch up to us? “I would be honored to be your child’s godparent.”

John plops down beside you. “Don’t tell the others yet, okay? I want to wait until the tour’s over. I don’t want them to panic and think I’m leaving and try to replace me or anything.”

“They wouldn’t try to replace you, John.”

“No?” he asks doubtfully.

“No. Roger knows it, Fred knows it, I think even Bri knows it.” You reach out and weave a lock of his hair through your fingers as cherry blossom petals tumble in the breeze. “You’re irreplaceable.”

~~~~~~~~~~

“Sod,” Freddie mocks. “That’s the best you could do? Really? Sod?”

Roger flings up his hands in frustration. “Freddie, I’ve got like a million Cs!”

“You could have done cod,” Brian notes, sipping a cup of hot tea. “Cods, actually.”

Roger glowers down at his Scrabble tiles. “Fuck.”

“And I’m so delighted he didn’t!” You place your tiles, expanding on sod to make rhapsody. John high-fives you and records the points in his notebook. Freddie and Brian groan in defeat.

“What the hell is a rhapsody?!” Roger snatches the Official Scrabble Dictionary off the table and flips through it.

“It’s a, like a...” Freddie waves his cigarette, scattering smoke through the air. “It’s like an epic poem. Or an opera. With lots of bizarre, different parts all pieced together.”

“That sounds made up.”

Freddie cackles. “Darling, it’s a real thing, I swear!”

Roger locates the pertinent page in the Scrabble Dictionary and his shoulders slump. “Goddammit. Fucking...too smart...nerdy...college-educated...girlfriend.” He drags you into his lap and kisses your temple. “You’re lucky you’re cute. I don’t usually tolerate being conquered like this.”

Bri smirks from behind his teacup. “I rather think you conquered her, Rog.”

“Oh, a rare good one from Bri!” Freddie trills as everyone laughs, although John soon busies himself with clearing empty bottles and cigarette butts off the table.

“Yes,” Roger agrees. “Against her superior judgment, I finally won her over. Only took eight months. Which is approximately...wait, let me count...seven and a half months longer than it has ever taken me before.”

You trace your fingertips across his stubbled cheeks, his soft lips, his little dark blond tufts of sideburns. “No one knows how to say no to you, do they?”

“It’s impossible. I’m too charming. Blindingly heroic. Perseus in the flesh.” He kisses your forehead and steadies you, his hands on your waist, as the brakes squeal and the tour bus lurches to a halt.

Freddie leaps to his feet and claps. “Alright, darlings! Off to the new digs we go. Deaky, hand me my shoes, they’re under the table...yes, right there...and toss over Brian’s hideous clogs as well.”

You help the roadies and the band drag luggage into the hotel (no small feat, as the elevator is out of order), unpack your toothbrush and hairbrush and a floral-patterned dress for dinner, giggle as you listen to Roger’s feral, raspy singing in the shower. It’s something about loving a car, how perfectly on-brand for him. Then Roger goes to fetch Freddie and John for dinner while you find Brian. Bri is collapsed on his bed in a striped t-shirt and jeans, freshly-washed and dewy, gazing up at the ceiling in a daze.

You tap gently on the doorframe. “Bri? You want to join us for dinner? There’s a sushi place a few blocks away that’s a local legend, apparently. Lots of veggie options too.”

He looks over at you. You haven’t spoken about the argument since you had it two months ago. Brian sometimes grimaces or smirks or rolls his willowy viridescent eyes, but he never says anything; not to you, and not to Roger as far as you’re aware. “I’m sorry,” he says simply. “I may have been out of line before. Incorrect, even.”

“No need to apologize, Bri. I’ve forgotten all about it.” You haven’t, but there’s no reason for Brian to know that.

“I just want what’s best for you. For you to be happy.”

“I know, Brian.” You cross the room and take his long, moon-white, artful hands in your own. “I’m sorry.”

“You’ll be in the wedding party, won’t you? I know Chris will ask.”

“Of course. And I’ll proudly wear whatever dreadfully tacky and uncomfortable bridesmaid dresses she picks out.”

“Even if they’re a frightful shimmery green?”

“Oh god.” You swallow noisily. “I’ll still do it. And then burn the photos.”

Brian chuckles as he climbs out of bed. “In a stroke of luck, I suspect she’ll ask you to take the pictures. So you can avoid being in them as much as you’d like. And conveniently lose the unflattering ones.”

You study him thoughtfully. “Are you happy, Brian?”

“I am. Chrissie’s excited, my parents are thrilled, they’ll be sitting in the front row with the proudest smiles you’ve ever seen. Next comes a proper house, and children, and all the rest of it.” But something in those mellow olivey eyes is resigned, melancholy. His words from two months ago echo in your skull: It’s necessary. It’s self-preservation. Because sometimes the people who set us on fire would burn us alive.

“Do you still think about New Orleans?” you ask softly. About the woman he’d fallen in love with there before you ever met Queen, about the utopian passion he never quite stops searching for. Everyone has demons, secrets, shadowy trenches like cracks in porcelain; you’ve learned all about Brian’s. What about Roger’s? What about mine?

He shrugs, staring out the window at the dusky skyline of Yokohama. “Maybe I’ll always think about New Orleans. But that doesn’t mean I don’t have to grow up and start taking responsibility.”

“Responsibility,” you reply cynically, before you can stop yourself. “Is that all love is about anymore?”

“Not for you. Not for Roger. You both want your freedom, your adventure, your true and uncomplicated love. And you’ll get to keep it.”

For now. But you don’t say that. Instead, you smile appeasingly and gesture for Brian to follow you out into the hallway.

The others are waiting by the door to the stairwell: John in a smart grey suit, Freddie in his black-and-yellow jacket, Roger in sunglasses and a ridiculous leopard-print vest he’d dug out of a trashcan somewhere and precariously tall boots.

“At last, Nurse Nightingale and my darling Brian!” Freddie chirps. “Come on, I’m positively famished, and also I’ve bet five pounds that I can consume more sake shots than Roger and I could really use the dough.”

Roger pushes through the door, leading the way. “Prepare to lose!”

“Roger, please,” you implore. “New livers don’t grow on trees, and I can’t give you half of mine. I’m the wrong blood type.”

Roger laughs as he bounds down the steps, then whirls to grin up at you as he walks backwards. “Relax, Deaks will share! You’re type A, aren’t you John—?”

Roger’s heel slips and he plummets down the flight of stairs. He tumbles as the four of you shriek in horror and bolt after him, slams into the wall of the landing, ricochets off of it and plunges down the next flight as well. There’s blood, you think frenziedly as you descend, screaming Roger’s name. There’s blood all over the steps.

Roger, crumpled on the maroon-streaked landing, slowly unravels and groans. He glances down, appraises himself, then hammers his left fist against the concrete wall of the stairwell, roaring in raw agony and rage. “No no no no no no!”

“Roger—!”

And then you see it.

Roger’s right arm hangs uselessly, unnaturally, his snapped radius bloody and splitting through the skin.

[mikeyhatesit113]

forever and never: Chapter 13

November 4th, 2007.

“Welcome to Sunday Night Football! The Dallas Cowboys take on the Philadelphia Eagles...”

The lights in the sports bar had dimmed for the night game, which was being broadcast from the three large projector screens at the front of the dining area. The commentator gave his pre-game introduction as I settled excitedly in my chair at the table.

My favorite team was about to play...and she was coming.

She had just gotten back from her weekend trip to a college football game, and she wanted to see me. I told her my whereabouts, and she was en route. She even had arranged it so that a fellow couple from the daycare center would meet us there, as the husband of the other couple was a trash-talking Eagles fan who loved to mock my Dallas Cowboys fanship.

But his opportunity to taunt me served only as a pawn in a larger game he didn’t know was being played.

The other couple would give us our perfect cover from curious eyes. Janie and I would be just two friends, meeting up with some other people to watch a football game in a public setting.  

But the game itself was the furthest thing from my mind. The only thought that highlighted the evening was our first kiss, which had occurred 3 days earlier.

She appeared in the doorway a short time later, looking for me. The buzz and conversation around the bar went on normally, the patrons guzzling their beers and unaware of the forbidden scandal playing out between two people before their very eyes.

I caught her eye and waved her over, and she sat down in the seat next to me.  

What now? It’s not like we were an item, or in an official relationship.

Our exchange of small words was interrupted by the arrival of the other couple, and the stage was set.

Regardless of the occasion and company, we were where both of us seemingly wanted to be...together.

It’s what made me think this was genuine. Her efforts to see me, even under the most mundane circumstances, are what made me believe I was the exception.

Her “Happily Ever After”.

Her “Forever and Ever”.  

The game began, animated conversation ensued, and what seemed like a year of fateful good luck continued as my Cowboys beat the living hell out of his Eagles, effectively silencing him.

Victory was sweet.

The game ended too soon, and the other couple bid their farewell. Janie and I sat at the table after their departure, continuing our conversation.

“I couldn’t get you out of my mind all weekend,” she admitted.

The bar closed, and we went and sat in her van, as we weren’t ready to go home yet.

She turned on her radio, and the CD in her changer started playing.

Hinder’s “Extreme Behavior”, an album by a popular rock band that would play as the soundtrack to that entire stage of our relationship. Years later, I look back on how appropriately the album was titled.

“Lips of an Angel” hummed from the speakers as our lips found eachother once again...

...”And I never want to say goodbye, but girl you make it hard to be faithful, with the lips of an angel”...

November 4th, 2012.

5 Years Later.

“Welcome to Sunday Night Football! The Dallas Cowboys take on the Atlanta Falcons...”

I settled onto the couch, placing my cold beverage on the coffee table in front of me. I laid my lifeless cell phone beside my cup.

Janie was laying on the love seat a few feet from me, her phone tucked under her leg as she snoozed.

The face under my skin, the voice in the back of my mind spoke to me...urging me that this wasn’t normal behavior...

But I shook it off. After all that had happened...

...all the fights, the men, and the questions, this was my last stand.

This was my last chance to trust her. If I couldn’t trust the location of her cell phone, then I couldn’t trust anything.

The game started, and though the action and cheers on the television were non-stop, our living room was quiet, save for my occasional curse word.

The game drug on, and as the fourth quarter got underway, it became clear that I was watching my team’s loss in progress.

In a year of what was seemingly fateful, endless bad luck, Dallas lost 19-13.

The game wasn’t over quite yet, but I angrily shut the TV off. I had to work in the morning, and I wasn’t going to lose anymore sleep over this game.

“I’ve seen this story before,” I said, my finger angrily pressing the OFF button on the remote.

Janie’s eyes shot open, awakened from her slumber by my words.

“Whatever, Ekim,” she said, grabbing her phone from under her leg and standing up before marching towards the staircase.

“What’s your problem?” I asked, dumbfounded by her reaction.

Apparently, she thought my words were directed towards something else.

Could have been a guilty conscience. What else would she think “I’ve seen this story before” meant?

The sad thing is, we indeed had seen this story before. Too many times.

I stood downstairs in silence, hearing her move around and then get into bed.

Unconcerned.

Not giving a single shit I didn’t follow her up that staircase.

My temper soared. I reached another boiling point.

Treat me like this, huh? I’m this disposable, right? You’re invincible, correct?

I marched up the stairs and walked to our bedroom doorway, observing her get comfortable and curl up under the covers.

“You just think you’re hot shit, don’t you?” I fired.

“Whatever, Ekim. Just come to bed,” she said dully.

We exchanged some more words, and I spilled what was on my mind.

“All I want is you,” she said.

Following this fight, we made love, but neither of us knew it would be for the final time.

Few people ever know when it’s the last time for anything.

The next day, I woke up early and went to work, and throughout the morning, I was encouraged by normal, jovial rounds of text exchanges with Janie.

By mid-morning, they stopped.

And for the next few hours, it was complete silence.

I went about my day, unable to focus on anything but her silence.

She still worked in the same building as Steppenwolf...

After work, she finally contacted me and I felt instant relief.

“Sorry, busy day,” she said shortly.  

“Did you want me to pick up a pizza?” I asked her.

“...what are we doing, Ekim?” she asked.

“What do you mean?” I asked.

“All we do is fight,” she said.

“Janie, don’t start this shit with me,” I shot.

An argument instantly erupted, and I couldn’t help but notice that she was trying to cut me short and get off the phone.

“Why are you trying to get off the phone so fast?” I asked.

“Because I stopped for gas and I have to use the bathroom, is that OK with you?” she asked savagely.

“Fine,” I said.

“Do you want me to call you right back?” she asked.

“Whatever,” I replied.

But that call didn’t come. I arrived home, and I determined that this was no good anymore...or at least I thought I had.

Packing my things was more for presentation for her to walk through the door and see how serious I was. But was I?

If I wasn’t, it was about to get serious real quick.

More sadly yet, there wasn’t much for me to pack. Just some clothes and small belongings, as I had left the majority of it in my storage and at my grandma’s house.

The safe zones.

Janie arrived home soon after, and watched me condescendingly as I packed up my things and put them in my car.

She was flawless at making me feel like this was all my fault, and I was the one leaving.

But she wasn’t backing down. In fact, she marched upstairs and packed a bag of her own.

Gym clothes, and a bottle of vodka.

She walked out the front door, and this was my last stand.

I followed her across the street to her mom’s house.

Just like I had done so many times before, in the bad times and the good.

“Leave me alone, Ekim.”

“Tell me it’s over,” I said.

“What?”

“I won’t end this until you tell me it’s over,” I said.

“Ok, Ekim. It’s over,” she said, not bothering to look back at me as she continued walking through her mom’s backyard.

But I needed more. I needed a whole lot more to end this.

5 Years...could a simple declaration just end that?

I continued following her as we made our way up the steps to her mom’s back deck.

“Tell me you’re done,” I begged.

“Why?” she asked angrily, turning around to face me.

Her husband. My wife. A union in splinters.

“Because I can’t walk away until I know you’re done,” I said, my eyes welling with tears.

Inside her mother’s house, everything was normal and happy conversations could be heard.

Outside on that wooden deck in the cold November sunset, there was an emptiness.

“Ok Ekim, I’m done,” she said emphatically, looking into my eyes.

“Are you sure?” I asked.

“Yes. I’m. Done.”

She walked inside the sliding glass door and shut it behind her.

I stood there for a moment, soaking in the finality.

Tonight, there would be no pestering her. No knocking on the back door, pawing at it like a stray no one wanted.

This was my apocalypse, and I was standing in the middle of it.

I slowly walked off the back deck and back across the street to our empty home.

A home that held secrets. A home that would thrive without me.

A home that was no longer mine.

I finished packing, and as I was loading my final things in the car, Janie emerged from the darkness and walked inside the house.

I shut my car door and walked inside the house, the ghost of hope slightly rising in my chest.

My last stand.

Janie stood there, leaning up against the living room wall as she looked around wistfully, completely silent.

I was silent too, but I couldn’t help myself.

I walked toward her and reached out to hug her.

I wanted to hold her. I wanted to be those two people again who did everything they could to be together.

Sports bars. Stores. Hidden parks. Her van, listening to Hinder.

Anything to be together.

I reached out to embrace her, and she ducked under my left arm and marched to the staircase.

She trotted up the stairs, and on instinct, I went to follow her.

I put one foot on the bottom stair.

SNAP.

I felt it. It wasn’t physical whatsoever, but I felt it nonetheless.

I broke.

My resolve to fight for her snapped in two.

I stood there, in complete silence, staring up the stairs.

Silence.

Deafening silence.

Except for one single thought that verbalized itself in my head.

“It’s time. You’re done.”

I turned around slowly and walked out the front door.

I walked to my car in complete defeat, understanding for the first time in years what was happening inside of me.

I reached my limit. It was time to go.

As I sat in my car and turned the key, the bright lights of my dashboard lit up my car’s interior. But something else caught my eye.

Janie had stepped out onto the front porch. She stared at me, her arms crossed, and her face without emotion.

But there was no looking back. No turning back.

My engine roared to life.

I put the car in DRIVE and put my foot on the gas.

I was going home, where there’d be no more hurt.

No more abuse. No more confusion. No more pain.

Not like this.

That night, I slept soundly for the first time in months.

Alone.

And safe.

The next day, a co-worker gave me a ride back to Janie’s house where I picked up my Lancer.

I thanked him and got behind the wheel.

I turned on the ignition.

Gas Tank on E.

Stopped for gas and had to use the bathroom, huh?

There was paperwork that needed to be filed.

The games were far from over.

“There's nothing you can say Nothing you can do There's nothing in between, You know the truth.

Nothing left to face There's nothing left to lose, Nothing takes your place.

When they say You're not that strong You're not that weak It's not your fault And when you climb up to your hill Up to your place I hope you're well.”  

Our Lady Peace “Not Enough”

NOTE: Though this is my side of the story, including my own personal recollections and opinions, the reader should not consider this note anything other than a work of literature. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

[racingtoaredlight]

RTARL’s 2020 NFL Season Week 14 Extravapalooza

The Week 14 slate of games is straight doo-doo until the AFC North rescues us in primetime. As a result of this, I found it pretty difficult to get up for this week’s Extravapalooza. I know what you’re thinking: I’m a professional being paid ludicrous sums of money to show up on the weekend and give it everything I’ve got. But, I’m only human. My assistant puts my pants on me one leg at a time, just like everyone else. Frankly, I think this lackluster effort falls more on the coaching staff than it does on me. 

My picks are in BOLD, and the lines come to us courtesy of our friends at Vegas Insider. I use the “VI Consensus” line, which is the line that occurs most frequently across Vegas Insider’s list of sportsbooks. Your sportsbook of choice may offer a different number, and if you’d like my opinion on said number A) you are insane, and B) leave a comment below and I’ll try to answer at some point before things kickoff today.

EARLY GAMES

Houston Texans (-1.5) at Chicago Bears

Hey, did you know that the Bears traded up in the draft to take Mitchell Trubisky over DeShaun Watson? It’s true! Today, it’ll look like it was the right move. LOL, not really. But, I’m putting my faith in the ability of the Bears defense to bottle Watson up just enough to allow Mitchell a brief afternoon of sweet, sweet glory.

Dallas Cowboys (-3) at Cincinnati Bengals

OH BOY, ANDY DALTON REVENGE GAME!! This game could’ve been a fun time with Dak Prescott and Joe Burrow calling the signals for their respective squads, but sadly what we have in reality is a hideous slopfest that only the most degenerate among us would dare gaze upon.

Kansas City Chiefs (-7.5) at Miami Dolphins

I think the Dolphins defense can do a reasonably good job holding K.C. down, relatively speaking. The problem is that I’m not sure their Tua-led offense can keep pace. They’re still adjusting to life with Tua as their triggerman, and losing their best RB, Myles Gaskin, to the COVID list is a tough blow.

Arizona Cardinals (-2.5) at New York Giants

The Giants have won 4 in a row, while the Cards have dropped 3 in a row and 4 of their last 5. These twin developments are most unexpected. I just can’t bring myself to pick against my beloved Kyler Murray in this one, even though he’s been scuffling and the Giants made Russell Damn Wilson look like crud just last week. Daniel Jones is expected to be back in the saddle for the Giants, which provides another reason to pick New York that I’m choosing to ignore.

Minnesota Vikings at Tampa Bay Buccaneers (-7)

The Vikings are agents of pure chaos capable of both thrashing anyone and being thrashed by anyone, while the Bucs haven’t strung together two good halves in over a month. I truly have no idea what to expect from this game*. 

*Judging by my picks record, I have no idea what to expect from any game

Denver Broncos at Carolina Panthers (-3.5)

Here we have an incredibly resistible force meeting an exceptionally moveable object. The Broncos will be without their top 3 CBs, which is less than ideal. Carolina won’t have RB Christian McCaffery or WR DJ Moore, but I still like their odds of hitting a big play on offense and/or capitalizing on a Drew Lock mistake enough to pick them to win by more than a field goal.

Tennessee Titans (-7.5) at Jacksonville Jaguars

Derrick Henry is the jewel of my fantasy team, and since my playoffs begin this week I’m putting the idea of him cranking out a hilarious yardage total while grinding out the clock out into the universe. 

LATE GAMES 

Indianapolis Colts (-3) at Las Vegas Raiders

The most non-descript game imaginable.

New York Jets at Seattle Seahawks (-15)

The Seahawks need a get-right game after losing to the Giants last week, and lo and behold the Jets are coming to town. The only thing giving me pause here is the non-zero chance that Pete Carroll got sidetracked during the week and the team spent their preparation time learning the TRUTH about a totally different New York jet situation.

Green Bay Packers (-8) at Detroit Lions

Somebody on Twitter (possibly Jim Harbaugh Scramble?) pointed out how much the FOX cartoon graphic for Packers TE Robert Tonyan looks like White Michael Vick from the infamous “What If Michael Vick Were White?” story from a few years ago, and it cracked me up for a solid 10 minutes.

LOL

New Orleans Saints (-8) at Philadelphia Eagles

I’m morbidly fascinated by this game. Saints QB Taysom Hill has looked shockingly competent...when playing against the Atlanta Falcons. How will he do against a different, larger species of bird? I don’t know what to expect out of Eagles QB Jalen Hurts in his first start, but at the very least I think he’ll take off running to try and gain SOME yards if his first couple of reads are covered, as opposed to holding the ball and waiting to get creamed a la Carson Wentz. The Saints defense is a brutal first matchup for him, though.

Atlanta Falcons at Los Angeles Chargers (PK)

I’m following my “Don’t Pick the Falcons If Julio Jones Is Out” rule here. I have no idea if that rule has actually served me well whatsoever. 

Washington Football Team at San Francisco 49ers (-3)

As of this writing, I can’t find any solid info as to whether or not Football Team O-linemen Brandon Scherff, Morgan Moses, and David Sharpe are going to play. Even if they manage to get out there, they’re pretty banged up. The o-line injuries combined with the loss of studly RB Antonio Gibson has tamped my enthusiasm for Washington down considerably. 

SNF: Pittsburgh Steelers at Buffalo Bills (-2.5)

FIRE TOMLIN! Seriously though, this is Pittsburgh’s third game in 11 days, which is ridiculous. They’ll also be without CB Joe Haden, which will only tempt Josh Allen to chuck it up even more. Whether or not this is beneficial for the Bills depends on how you feel about Josh Allen, I suppose.

MNF: Baltimore Ravens (-3) at Cleveland Browns

The Browns and their fans are riding too high right now. The laws of the universe require them to be knocked down a peg or two, possibly due in large part to former Ohio State Buckeye JK Dobbins returning to Ohio and running roughshod over the home team.

Last Week’s Record: 8-6

Season Record: 82-91-6

[mitchintille]

2021 Mock Draft 1.0

Super Bowl 55 is just a few days away, which means draft season is looming in the rearview mirror. In a class that is expected to produce an abundance of offensive talent, several teams could benefit from this year’s crop. With a reported possibility of 18 teams looking for a change at the quarterback position, there is quite a bit of ambiguity as we approach the draft, and this year could shape up to be one of the wildest drafts we’ve seen in recent memory. Without further ado, here are my early first round predictions for the 2021 NFL draft....

1. Jacksonville Jaguars: Trevor Lawrence, QB, Clemson

From the moment he set foot on campus his freshman season, Lawrence has always has shown the capabilities of being a future NFL star. He took no time bursting onto the scene. After a dazzling freshman season, in which he lead the Tigers to a title in blowout fashion over an absolutely loaded Alabama team, he followed it up with two more trips to the playoffs, including another trip to the title game.

The former No.1 overall recruit in the country offers everything one could wish for in a franchise quarterback.  He is a gifted, natural thrower of the football who is wise beyond his years at the position. Even new head coach Urban Meyer feels that he has the potential to be the best QB ever. Jaguars fans, your savior has come. Rejoice. 

2. Houston Texans: Zach Wilson, QB, BYU

Houston receives: 2nd overall pick (2021), 23rd overall pick (2021), 3rd round pick (2021), 1st round pick (2022), 4th round pick (2022)

New York receives: Deshaun Watson, 6th round pick (2022)

Let’s get weird. Deshaun Watson being traded has reached inevitability status, and the Jets are stockpiled with draft picks over the next few years. It has been rumored that Watson would prefer to play for the Jets under the tutelage of new head coach Robert Saleh. The Jets have the firepower to make this pick happen, and in this scenario they pull off the mega deal and get their guy. So where does that leave Houston?

 They luck into a talented, natural thrower of the football, with a very clean feel for the pocket. He has a rocket arm, and is particularly impressive when asked to go off script. The Texans rebuild will undoubtedly be a long one, but with Wilson, they have a fresh face of the franchise moving forward, and will look to continue adding more weapons around him to set him up for success.  

3. San Francisco 49ers: Justin Fields, QB, Ohio State

San Francisco receives: 3rd overall pick (2021), 5th round pick (2022)

Miami receives: 12th overall pick (2021), 43rd overall pick (2021), 1st round pick (2022), 3rd round pick (2022), 7th round pick (2022)

Between the Rams’ recent trade for Matthew Stafford, and Kyle Shanahan remaining noncommittal on Jimmy Garoppolo for the foreseeable future, it wouldn’t shock me to see John Lynch be aggressive and try to nab their QB of the future. 

Fields put up gaudy numbers in his first year as a starter, posting an absurd 51-3 TD/INT ratio. He showed a bit of regression in a COVID-shortened year two, but still displayed all of the tools you’d hope to see when searching for a franchise QB. 

Finding a way to get Jimmy G’s lucrative contract off the books, and adding a talented player like Fields would be a win-win for an organization whom I feel would GREATLY benefit from a changing of the guard under center. 

4. Atlanta Falcons: Trey Lance, QB, North Dakota State 

With the arrival of new head coach Arthur Smith, it is time for a rebrand in Atlanta. Matt Ryan is expected to make over $40m a season for the next two years, and while he is certainly not the main issue with this team, the Falcons need to move in a new direction. 

Lance is perhaps the most polarizing player in this year’s class. Similar to Fields, he too posted video game like numbers in his first year at the helm. The Minnesota product threw for 28 TD’s, while posting another 14 on the ground. He also didn’t throw an interception all season. He possess all of the physical tools that NFL teams salivate over, and while questions will remain in regards to the inferior competition he’s been exposed to over his career, the opportunity to sit and learn from Matt Ryan could serve both himself and the Falcons some good.

5. Cincinnati Bengals: Penei Sewell, OT, Oregon

If Sewell is on the board, he will be the pick for the Bengals. After breakout rookie quarterback Joe Burrow suffered a season-ending ACL tear, the sense of urgency to upgrade the offensive line should be at an all-time high for the Bengals.

 Sewell allowed just one sack over 1,376 career snaps and will spend the majority of his rookie season at age 20. He is a smooth mover with easy power, who is capable of playing on either side of the line. He is the exact type of stalwart that is needed for the Bengals to protect their QB of the future. 

6. Philadelphia Eagles: DeVonta Smith, WR, Alabama

I don’t know what to make of the Eagles’ current situation. They are in QB purgatory and have gaping holes riddled across their roster. With the recent hiring of Colts’ OC Nick Sirianni, I’d imagine adding offensive firepower would be at the top of his to-do list. Assuming they move forward with Jalen Hurts at QB, it is imperative to surround him with quality skill players. After drafting Jalen Reagor in the first round last year, they double dip this year and take the reigning Heisman Trophy winner.

 Smith is not the most conventional receiver, being that there aren’t too many 6′1, 175-lb receivers who have enjoyed prolonged success in the league, but Smith doesn’t care about your player profiles. Smith can make plays all over the field and beat you in a myriad of ways. He is a nuanced route runner with a seemingly natural feel for his position, and someone I can assume Sirianni will fall in love with as the draft process begins to heat up.

7. Detroit Lions: Jaylen Waddle, WR, Alabama 

If Lance were to have fallen to this spot, I’d have probably made him the selection. However, I’ll opt to give them a difference maker like Waddle.

 With Kenny Golladay’s impending departure and both Danny Amendola and Marvin Jones Jr. testing the open market, that WR room could get UGLY in a hurry. Waddle is essentially a supercharged version of his former teammate Henry Ruggs. He has legit 4.2 speed, and does a great job of tracking the deep ball. The Lions are desperate for speed on the perimeter, and Waddle would be an instant upgrade to what they have now. He’s a true, top-10 talent assuming he manages to stay healthy.

8. Carolina Panthers: Ja’marr Chase, WR, LSU

Now just hear me out on this. Curtis Samuel is approaching free agency and will likely be headed elsewhere. Aside from DJ Moore and Robby Anderson, the cupboard is bare. Chase put up record-setting numbers in his only year under current Panthers OC Joe Brady when they were at LSU, so a reunion would only be right.

 Chase is perhaps the best player in the entire class regardless of position. He is a physical route-runner who attacks the catch point with ease, and his RAC ability might be his best trait. He is very reminiscent of Moore, and pairing those two along with Anderson’s deep speed could perhaps create the most dangerous receiving trio in the NFL.

9. Denver Broncos: Caleb Farley, CB, Virginia Tech

After an heavy offensive draft last year, the Broncos buck the trend and refocus on rebuilding their defense. Farley’s size and athleticism are a perfect fit in Vic Fangio’s versatile defensive scheme. I believe Farley has the potential to be a star in this league very quickly. 

10. Dallas Cowboys: Rashawn Slater, OT, Northwestern

After wrestling back and forth with myself on this pick, the Cowboys settle on Slater. The once elite Cowboys offensive line has suddenly deteriorated into mediocrity. With both Tyron Smith and La’el Collins returning from injuries, Slater can serve as an insurance policy at either position, or kick him inside if need be. 

His versatility and strong lower half are both commendable traits that should allow him to see a long career in the NFL.

11. New York Giants: Patrick Surtain II, CB, Alabama 

Truthfully, this might be the most unpredictable pick in the first round. Dave Gettleman is tricky, but recently he has invested into the secondary quite a bit. After signing James Bradberry to a pricy extension last off-season, they also invested a pick into Xavier McKinney, as well as the addition of guys like Logan Ryan and Jabrill Peppers.

With Surtain, he brings a combo of length and savvy to the position, and would serve as the Giants’ other outside corner opposite of Bradberry.

12. Miami Dolphins: Kyle Pitts, TE, Florida

San Francisco receives: 3rd overall pick (2021), 5th round pick (2022)

Miami receives: 12th overall pick (2021), 43rd overall pick (2021), 1st round pick (2022), 3rd round pick (2022), 7th round pick (2022)

Yes, I’m highly aware that Mike Gesicki exists. But hear me out on this one, Pitts is more than just your standard “tight end” prospect. If it weren’t for a TE listed next to his position, I’d say that he’s the second best receiver in the draft. 

He is nearly impossible to match up against. He’s too fast for linebackers and too physical for corners. He’s shown the capability to play in the slot, flexed out wide, or with his hand in the dirt. Pairing him and Gesicki together will give Tua Tagovailoa (assuming he remains their guy moving forward), a plethora of weapons at his disposal.

13. Los Angeles Chargers: Christian Darrisaw, OT, Virginia Tech

Keeping Justin Herbert clean and protected should be the top priority heading into the offseason for Tom Telesco. After a breakout rookie season, it seems the Chargers struck a goldmine in Herbert. Being that the Chargers haven’t had a decent offensive line in years, a trip out west would make sense for Darrisaw. 

The Virginia Tech product is a very fluid mover, whose length and quickness allow him to reach the second level with ease as a run blocker. He will be an instant upgrade to their run game, and has the maturity to protect Herbert’s blindside from day one in LA. 

14. Minnesota Vikings: Gregory Rousseau, EDGE, Miami

After the loss of Everson Griffen to free agency, and Danielle Hunter missing most of the 2020 season due to a back injury, the Vikings should be looking to rebuild their pass rush. Mike Zimmer seems to have a knack for high-ceiling pass rushers with athletic upside. Rousseau fits the bill.

 The Florida native saw his star shine after a dazzling sophomore season, racking up an impressive 15.5 sacks. Rousseau has easy power off the edge. While he is still a bit raw from a technician standpoint, his natural power and length will be a nightmare for tackles to deal with from day one. If he can mature his game, he has the potential to be one of the most productive edge rushers in the league in due time. 

15. New England Patriots: Micah Parsons, EDGE, Penn State

After some recent concerns over Parsons’ character, he sees his stock slide and he falls into the lap of Bill Belichick. After being used in several different spots at Penn State,

 Parsons projects best as an EDGE, but has the necessary tools to develop his skills over time. Belichick has a fetish for hybrid linebackers that can rush the passer, and pairing the two together would do wonders for his development over time.

16. Arizona Cardinals: Jaycee Horn, CB, South Carolina

After adding Matthew Stafford to the division, and the Niners looking to upgrade at the quarterback position, it is time for the Cardinals to get better in the secondary. Quickly.

 Horn is an excellent press corner, with an alpha-dog type mentality that should fit in well in the Cardinals’ back end. He does have a tendency to be too grabby and aggressive at times, and his lack of size will hurt him against bigger receivers. He is not a perfect corner prospect, but the Cardinals don’t have much of a choice here. 

17. Las Vegas Raiders: Jaelan Phillips, EDGE, Miami 

Truthfully, I have no idea what to predict here. The front office is an absolute mess, and have proven themselves to be incompetent when it comes to drafting. After missing badly on Clelin Ferrell a few years ago, they have a chance to redeem themselves with the selection of Phillips. 

The former number one overall recruit had a late start to his career, after suffering several injuries and at one point declaring himself medically retired. After transferring to Miami from UCLA, Phillips began to improve his game, and vaulted himself into first round considerations after a breakout 2020 campaign. His injury history may force him to fall, but his combination of size, speed, and motor is very exciting, and he may be the exact type of player Mike Mayock falls in love with.

18. Miami Dolphins: Zaven Collins, LB, Tulsa

Brian Flores is one of the few Belichick proteges recently that has found success as a head coach. Much like Belichick, Flores places a large emphasis on versatility, particularly on the defensive side of the ball. This is why Collins would be a perfect fit on day one. 

Collins was truly a jack-of-all-trades in his time at Tulsa. He was one of the best players in all of college football last season, and did so in a number of ways. He can rush the passer, cover a runningback out of the backfield. Think D’onta Hightower type role for Collins if he were to head to south beach.

19. Washington Football Team: Mac Jones, QB, Alabama

With the trend in the NFL heading towards a youth movement at QB, it wouldn’t shock me to see Washington fall in love with Jones.

Although he’s not the most dynamic passer, Jones is a solid athlete with an incredibly comfortable feel for the game. He is a great processor with plus accuracy, and has shown impressive flashes of improvisation. He may not have a very high ceiling moving forward, but I can him instantly making that team better and elevating them into playoff contention on a year-to-year basis.

20. Chicago Bears: Rashod Bateman, WR, Minnesota

With Allen Robinson likely headed elsewhere in free agency and Anthony Miller’s slow start, the time is now to add playmakers on the offensive side of the ball. Insert Bateman.

One of the most forgotten men in the whole class, Bateman is silky smooth in everything he does, and will be the most physical WR on any field he steps on. He eats up intermediate routes, and is capable of being a vertical threat. His game reminds me a ton of guys like Keenan Allen and Michael Thomas, not the most physically gifted guys, but masters of their craft and play to their strengths.

Whether or not the Bears decide to move forward with Mitchell Trubisky at QB or not, it is imperative to give the man under center some more feasible options to work with in the passing game.

21. Indianapolis Colts: Kwity Paye, EDGE, Michigan

While the temptation was high to take a receiver here, I opted for the highly athletic EDGE with limitless upside.

Not having a combine will prove to affect Paye’s stock, as he was expected to test through the roof at his position. Once listed as one of Bruce Feldman’s “freaks”, Paye finally applied his athleticism to the field in 2020. He is very reliant on his natural power and speed, and has yet to develop any consistent counter moves. If developed properly, his size/speed combo alongside Deforest Buckner could prove to be deadly for an already improving defense.

22. Tennessee Titans: Azeez Ojulari, EDGE, Georgia

Being that the Jadeveon Clowney acquisition backfired on them, the Titans are still in search of a consistent pass rush opposite of Harold Landry.

Ojulari is young and lacks experience. But when his motor gets going, he could be the most explosive rusher in the class. He’d be perfect in their 3-4 defense, and has the potential to be a good player in space as he gains more experience. 

23. New York Jets: Joseph Ossai, EDGE, Texas

One of the staples of a Robert Saleh defense is consistent pressure off the edge. The Jets lack any and all types of pass rush at the moment, and Ossai’s intriguing upside in that defense could see him turn out to be a very productive player.

24. Pittsburgh Steelers: Liam Eichenberg, OT, Notre Dame

Man, Notre Dame just pumps them out, don’t they? With GM Kevin Colbert’s affinity for drafting players from big name schools, Eichenberg becomes the most recent, NFL product of the offensive line factory that is Notre Dame.

Much like any of the Notre Dame linemen of the past, Eichenberg is techincally sound in everything he does. He may not be athletic enough to play left tackle, but is a plug and play right tackle from day one.

25. Jacksonville Jaguars: Samuel Cosmi, OT, Texas

Although the temptation would be to select a receiver here, the Jags have $100m in cap space to work with, which can be spent on one of the receivers in what is expected to be an impressive free agency class. 

Cosmi may be a little undersized, but is very athletic and light on his feet for the position. If he can bulk up and maintain his athleticism, I can see him being the Jaguars’ left tackle for the next decade. 

26. Cleveland Browns: Jeremiah Owusu-Koramoah, LB, Notre Dame

A surprising slide leaves Cleveland with one of the most gifted players in the draft. 

JOK is a heat-seeking missile, who showed very impressive flashes in coverage. He is the prototypical, modern-day NFL linebacker through and through.

27. Baltimore Ravens: Kadarius Toney, WR, Florida

Eric Decosta recently hinted at his lust for the dynamic Florida receiver. Toney was used in several different ways over the course of his career, but really seemed to find himself as a slot receiver in 2020.

On a team desperate for playmakers on offense, Toney would fit like a glove on that intermediate/short game offensive scheme. Toney is a menace with the ball in his hands. He has incredible contact balance and vision. If he continues to progress as a receiver, he would be a very nice addition. 

28. New Orleans Saints: Christian Barmore, IDL, Alabama

In what looks to be a fairly uninspiring IDL class, Barmore’s stock rose in his first season as a starter. The Philly native has clubs for hands, and he proved himself to be un-blockable down the stretch. Ohio State had no answer for him in the national championship game, and he seems to only be sratching the surface of what he can become.

In this case, the Saints don’t reach for a QB and draft the best player on the board, which just so happens to be Barmore. 

29. Green Bay Packers: Dyami Brown, WR, North Carolina

The Packers failure to address the receiver position came full circle this season. After losing their second consecutive NFC Championship, the lack of talent at WR cost them in the end. Enter Dyami Brown, one of the best kept secrets in the entire draft. 

Brown is a budding star. Only listed at 6′1, 185-lb, Brown consistently plays larger than his frame. He is perhaps the best vertical threat in the entire draft. Brown displays freakish ball tracking skills, along with 4.3 speed. Pairing him with Rodgers could be the missing piece that gets them over the hump moving forward, and would show that the organization is dedicated to Rodgers as their guy until he retires. 

30. Buffalo Bills: Nick Bolton, LB, Missouri 

With Matt Milano’s future with the Bills in question, it would not surprise me to see them cut bait and go after the athletic and physical SEC backer.

Bolton is a bit undersized for the position, so pairing him with Tremaine Edmunds would be the perfect complement. He great sideline to sideline speed, and will be an immediate upgrade over Milano from an athletic standpoint.

31. Tampa Bay Buccaneers: Alex Leatherwood, OT, Alabama

With Donovan Smith set to become a free agent, I’d imagine the Bucs will look to replace him this off-season.

Leatherwood was a two-year starter at left tackle, but is capable of playing on the interior as well. Even if the Bucs were to bring Smith back, having a depth piece to the quality of Leatherwood could serve vital for a team who is destined ti make a run until Tom Brady’s retirement.

32. Kansas City Chiefs: Alijah Vera-Tucker, iOL, USC

An interesting storyline that has gotten lost in the mix of guys like Patrick Mahomes, Tyreek Hill, and Travis Kelce, the Chiefs have battled several injuries along the offensive line. They’re likely to play 3-4 backups in the Super Bowl this Sunday. 

Although the production remains elite and ultimately the deteriorating health on the line hasn’t bitten them yet, it is not a sustainable way to move forward. 

Vera-Tucker is a highly refined player, who has experience playing at any spot on the line. Much like the Bucs, adding quality depth and talent among the offensive line to protect your franchise should never be a move that is scrutinized.

[entertainment]

Entertainment Spotlight: Brooke Lewis Bellas

Brooke Lewis Bellas can currently be seen in the film The Mourning. She also brought her talent to the role of Pam Deluca in the comedy ½ New Year, about a tight-knit group of friends letting loose at their annual Half New Year Party. Brooke is a veteran of the horror genre and is returning to those roots with a role in the upcoming zombie film set in 1950’s Hollywood, The Day of The Living Dead. Her other film credits include the critically-acclaimed films Psycho Therapy, iMurders, and Sinatra Club, opposite Danny Nucci. Brooke’s TV credits include Fox’s Quintuplets. She will next be seen in the steaming series Red Rooms, which she also produced. Alongside her acting work, Brooke is a life coach and author of Coaching From A Professed Hot Mess, is a Celebrity Ambassador for the Breaking The Chains Foundation, participates in LA Mission Feed The Homeless, and is a staunch LGBTQ and AIDS Activist.

You have worked extensively in the horror genre—what is it that draws you to that particular genre?

I have always embraced my inner detective and have loved solving mysteries. No wonder I have been a huge fan of Alfred Hitchcock and Brian De Palma most of my life! I was also obsessed with vampires as a young girl and loved the ‘80s horror films when I was growing up. I have always been drawn to the darkness, unknown, mystery and escapism that horror offers. I also love how the horror genre embraces women of all body types (and curves) and offers strong roles for women!

If you could, is there anything that you would want to change about the horror genre?

If I could change anything about the horror genre, it would be the mainstream and public perception. Horror is often perceived as B-movie quality, evil, cultish, or less respectful than comedy or other genres, and that can be a false perception. There are many mainstream movies that we have all loved throughout the history of cinema and these are the type of horror genre films that I grew up watching. I have never been a fan of gratuitous horror and I could reference my favorites, from Alfred Hitchcock to Agatha Christie to Stephen King to Brian De Palma to the current thrillers and mainstream entertainment brought to us by Blumhouse or Jordan Peele, that are timeless. I wish people would understand how smart some of these screenplays are, the subtext of the stories being told. I wish the judgment and stigma of a lot of horror would be removed.

What would you say makes for a good scene partner?

I have been fortunate to act opposite some veteran greats and brilliantly talented actors, and I would, humbly, say that the most important components that make for a good scene partner are generosity, vulnerability, and openness—a partnership in which we listen and support each other. I have worked for over 20 years as an actress in this crazy industry, and there is little I have not experienced. I cannot say that working opposite the most “talented” or trained actors have necessarily been the best scene partner experiences for me. But working opposite generous actors who give and who support you, as you do for them, and you become like a well-oiled machine where the parts work better together...those actors who want you to succeed, who want to bring out the best in you, and you and them, a give and take—that is when movie magic is created!

1/2 New Year is a comedy, so can you tell us what drew you to the project? Can you tell us a little bit about the role of Pam?

½ New Year is an indie film with heart about a group of young people in their 20s who come to Hollywood, not necessarily for the entertainment industry but to live the life…live their best life…live their dreams…live that excitement that we all grow up seeing in movies, and yet, it is not always that simple. And, it is not always that glamorous or fun. We see how these relationships and people are glued together. I think the tagline sums it up best: "Friends are the family you get to choose." So, it is about a group of friends that go through the ups and downs of young life in Hollywood, and they learn that all you really have is love and friendship. I play Pam DeLuca, the big sister of Reed DeLuca (Drew McAnany). The film displays how sometimes we have family out here that is far away from our biological family, and it is what we go through, and the support we need to get from the worst of times to the best of times. It is very 80’s throwback and I think that's what I love so much about it. I met our star, writer, and producer, Drew McAnany, in Hollywood over ten years ago. Drew originally started out hosting in LA, and he was working at E! Entertainment when he interviewed me on the red carpet. He asked me about Philly, and we quickly bonded during that meeting, so he really became like a little brother to me. Like so many young actors in Hollywood, Drew was fighting to get a break for himself as an actor, so he created ½ New Year as a vehicle for himself to star in. He also wrote the role of his big sister, Pam DeLuca (from Philly), for me to act in. We had worked through a few years of table reads and different directors and producers, then Georgia Menides jumped on board, did the re-write on the script, then became the producer who made it happen. Along with producer Zach Block, they hired Tom Morash as our director to creatively guide this project.

I am honored and grateful to have had Pam DeLuca written specifically for me. I think that is something every actor and actress wants in their career. Pam is in her 30’s, and a bit older than her brother Reed and his friends. They are Italian from South Philly, so they argue, but are very close. Pam is part of the gang, but she is like the "mother hen" to them. Her journey is about protecting her brother and giving guiding advice to the girls they hang out with, including the gorgeous leads, played by Bo Youngblood, Shanley Caswell, and Rebecca Vinagro. She also likes to have flings with Reed's young, handsome buddies, including Marty (played by Jermain Alverez Martin). Pam is an on-screen example of what we go through in "Hollywood life”: She is single and all about her career, she loves to party and doesn't want to grow up! The film released in the USA on all TV On Demand and has just been released on Amazon Prime and Tubi TV.

What’s the funniest/weirdest thing that’s ever happened to you on a film?

Oh, I have had many! I truly feel that being an actor and producer in the independent film world involves a whole other level of funny and weird experiences! When you do not have big budgets to deal with, you have to get creative in other ways. So, one funny story that I would love to share was my experience of being one of the producers on a film titled Sinatra Club, that I was fortunate to get to act in, opposite Danny Nucci from Titanic, Jason Gedrick from Iron Eagle, Ellen Hollman from Spartacus, Michael Nouri from Flashdance, and the list goes on and on, with an incredible cast of talent we assembled. And, what was so cool was I found the script in 2004, we filmed in 2009, and it was distributed in 2011, so it was a very long and challenging development period for an indie project, but one of the wildest memories I have was the fact that the story is based on a true story about the night John Gotti became John Gotti, so for all of the mobster history and movie buffs who are reading this, I was so fortunate to be a part of history in the making with this film. This film is based on Sal ‘Ubatz’ Polisi who went into the witness protection program for releasing information on John Gotti and his crew, and when he came out of the witness protection he wrote the story of his life in the Mafia. It was so wild to work on a project for so many years where we would literally meet at 10 o’clock, 11 o’clock, 12 o’clock at night in privacy and secrecy at the Sportsmen’s Lodge in Studio City, California, in hotel suites and we would hold our production meetings there!

You actively support many varied causes, how did you get involved in activism?

I was born with a philanthropist's heart and have always been a supporter of giving back in whatever way we can. I was spearheading events in college to run around Philadelphia and feed the homeless with my sorority sisters. Now, I am so grateful to have whatever little “celebrity” status or recognition I have that can help make a difference. I feel blessed and responsible to give back through my artistic endeavors and through my work. I am a believer in activism and I typically work with numerous charities at a time. I am a celebrity ambassador for the Breaking the Chains Foundation that cultivates healing through art for those who have experienced eating disorders, self-esteem issues, and body image issues. I am active in charity work with the Los Angeles Mission on Skid Row and helping to feed the homeless. I have been active in several Breast Cancer charities and events, as I have lost people whom I loved to breast cancer over the years. I have also been active in quite a few charities and philanthropies to support AIDS research. I authored and have donated my book, titled Ms. Vampy’s Teen Tawk: There’s A Lotta Power In Ya Choices, to support teen girls. And, in giving back to the world, I find that it brings so much fulfillment and gratitude to my own heart.

What does your allyship mean to you?

My allyship means everything to me, both personally and professionally. My empathic heart has always been wired to help others. I do not perceive myself as a person with power or fame, but I am incredibly grateful that I have been afforded the opportunities throughout my career to give back, to take a stand, and to help those who have been marginalized in some way. I am a proud philanthropist and activist, and I feel it is my duty to serve. Throughout my life, I have often felt misunderstood or that I did not belong, and I have dealt with my own challenges and struggles, so I am known to “fight for the underdog” and support those in need.

You are a certified life coach, what’s the best advice you have ever received, and, in your opinion, the best advice you’ve ever given to somebody?

As an actress and life coach, I am a huge proponent of having a strong support system of professionals in my stable. I feel that all creatives and health professionals should have their own support system and professionals to turn to. At the end of the day, I have received such incredible advice from my professionals—my life coach of many years, Lori Bertazzon, and my actress empowerment coach, Michelle Colt. One of my favorite pieces of advice that Lori Bertazzon has given me occurred a few years back when she supported me in creating my own set of personal commandments at the beginning of the year. These are commandments that I consistently refer back to, that help to empower me and help to create breakthroughs when I am having breakdowns in my life or career. Michelle Colt has also given me unbelievable advice and support in her workshops to strengthen my soul as an actress, and I have to reference a recent funny one because I love it so, and she knows me so well: our mantra, “No more shenanigans!”. It is something that I hold near and dear to my heart daily. 

Humbly, I think the best advice I have given over the years was born from my Ms. Vampy web series for teen girls, where I created a catchphrase that I cherish: “When faced with fear, dig deep inside, find your inner Vamp, and… Vamp It Out!”. To this day, my now-adult cast will send me messages that they used this catchphrase. I use it as an adult (you do not have to be a teenage girl to appreciate it) and when I am fearful or trying to have a breakthrough, I dig deep inside and I Vamp It Out! My other favorite catchphrase advice was so powerful for me, I actually named my life coaching business after it: “Be You… And, Be Fearless!” 

Has your training as a life coach ever helped you to prepare for a role/project? How?

I really love this question, because one may think that different careers or skill sets cannot help the other, but I have found that my training as a board-certified life coach has helped me tremendously to prepare for a role or project in a few ways. First, I am now very mindful and aware of the “mind chatter” and I am more able to catch myself in it. When I enter a space of fear or anxiety, I am able to coach myself off the ledge. Even more compelling, is that when I went to school at the Life Purpose Institute to become a board-certified life coach, I learned early on that a very important component of life coaching is “listening without an agenda”. This has helped me exponentially as an actress, because when you are acting and you're truly in the moment, you need to be listening without an agenda, as well. A true response should come from your instincts and that is so wild to me because now I am able to catch myself when I am preparing for a project and I am anticipating what the character will say to me next, and I can catch myself listening with an agenda of what they will say, and I know that I'm not in the moment as an actress.

How can mental well-being and self-care help to sustain activism/advocacy/allyship?

I cannot stress enough how strongly I believe that mental well-being and self-care can help to sustain activism/advocacy/allyship and our own personal strength—mentally, physically, emotionally, and spiritually. I actually speak about this in my book Coaching From A Professed Hot Mess: “When you give to yourself and allow yourself to replenish, you have so much more to give to others and will feel so much stronger inside.” I am still working on this, diligently, but when we learn to take care of ourselves and focus on our mental, spiritual, and emotional strength, we understand what it means to feel and give from our hearts. We become inspired to give back and to support people, causes, and have a passion, purpose, and mission, outside of ourselves.

What can you tell us about your latest projects The Second Age of Aquarius, Stripped, The Mourning, and Red Rooms?

At a time when the world is upside down and we do not really know where our next jobs will come from, I feel very blessed that I had acted in, and produced, a few projects that wrapped prior to COVID-19. My Psycho Therapy (Amazon Prime) film director, Staci Layne Wilson, wrote a film with Darren Gordon Smith (Repo! The Genetic Opera). Those two are so crazy talented. It is a fun indie gem. I don’t want to give any spoilers, but it’s The Second Age of Aquarius. It is a comedy, with a little bit of a Sci-Fi twist and a lot of music. It’s really sweet and clever. I’m an Executive Producer and I act in it. I play Tawny Stevens. She’s a young mom, stuck in the eighties, as an eighties, New Jersey, rocker mom. Wait until you see my hair, my make-up, and my leopard pants. I did the Jersey accent. I can’t wait for the film to come out! We also wrapped a TV pilot Stripped. It is a Comedy/Drama. It is a TV pilot that was written and directed by Marc Clebanoff, who also directed the film The Mourning, which stars Michael Walton, Louis Mandylor, Dominique Swain, and Larry Hankin. I was both an actress and a co-producer. The Mourning is a cool Sci-Fi/Love Story that just released on the new Tubi TV streaming channel. Stripped was a passion project. I was also one of the producers with Marc and Frank Krueger (also stars in it). I played Jules, the publicist to the star, Chris Cameron, played by Casper Van Dien. It was created by Mark Clebanoff and late actor, Kristoff St. John. They had created the concept before he passed on, which is such a sad situation, but Marc wanted to carry on his legacy, and he did, and we did. It is such an incredible cast, and series, we are all proud of. Lastly, at the start of COVID-19, my creative instinct kicked in and I knew I had to create to stay somewhat “sane”, so I spent most of the quarantine producing and filming a virtual streaming series. Red Rooms was conceived and completed out of “isolation inspiration”! Joshua Butler and I had been in development on a project and had been reminiscing about our favorite industry days of yesteryear when we met on the horror film circuit. I had already been a superfan of Joshua’s work for years. In 2019, we shot a proof of concept for our project, which paid homage to his hugely successful film VLOG (2008) from the producers of SAW, which went on to become a hit TV series. When COVID-19 hit Hollywood and we were all in isolation, I called for a production meeting, then suggested we use the footage we shot and attempt to experiment by filming each character virtually from their homes. Red Rooms stars horror film and TV veterans Brooke Lewis Bellas (iMurders), David Alpay (The Vampire Diaries), Suze Lanier-Bramlett (The Hills Have Eyes), Ricky Dean Logan (Freddy’s Dead: The Final Nightmare), and Noah Blake (Teen Witch). We are currently working on post-production and cannot wait to see where we end up!

Thanks for taking the time, Brooke! 

Photographer: Birdie Thompson | Hair and Makeup: Allison Noelle

[dear-space-cadet]

al horford sleeper agent

—————

anyway by now ive told basically everyone i care about but i had a life changing experience over the weekend. n it sounds dumb as shit but i met a real life dude who was basically a clone of nick from franz. weird hours. guess this is a thread

before we start i want to say i havent thought about franz in weeks. theyve gone away on their own finally but really i think my old obsessions just get replaced every few years and maybe it was my hard work in therapy or my new obsession with rap or

maybe it was just a realization or me growing up and maturing or something but i dont even want to work on my favorite fanfics anymore or anything. it’s just odd. i think im changing

and i don’t think about how my former favorite band members are doing or worry about them or check their socials n it feels really good. but i know there probably is or probably will be a replacement

ok that was a tangent. if they were replaced by anything they were replaced by new friends and the NBA. so there’s the exposition of this story sorted

anyway back to the weekend. the sleeper agent invited me to lunch. and that was the catalyst. god people are being so loud in here let me go to the art library

anyway i just kind of realized "huh i guess there's more out there." i went to lunch n shit. WE went to lunch n shit. stopped caring so much about my math homework. let myself be dumb and in love

that’s a very human thing. lunch. he spilled his stupid chipotle burrito all over his stupid bright green celtics jacket

he’s from italy. never even stepped foot in a chipotle. immediately clowned himself. some world we live in

we hung out all weekend. we went to lunch like two more times and we went to dinner. there was this big threat of leaving looming over my head the whole time. i made him walk like a mile on crutches and i feel very bad about it

i don’t know what’s wrong with him. it’s somewhere between a basketball injury and a chronic disability. either way that just made me feel even more emotionally attached to him. i never saw him without the celtics jacket

it was so cold that weekend. or maybe i just didn’t bring the right jacket. if he were a gentleman he would have offered me the celtics jacket. i didnt even hug him goodbye

and then of course he went back home. theres a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time. theres nothing special about me. he doesn't want to talk. i wrote my ap psych notes in green yesterday bc i was so in love with that stupid celtics jacket

im a sixers fan. the sixers and the celtics have been rivals forever. it was about to be war, except i want to move to boston. but really i want to move to dc. i wish the whole world was philly. things would be less complicated

im in love with a celtics jacket. a celtics jacket. of all teams. and i cant even talk to my basketball friends about it because they think im dumb shit for falling for some celtics fan with a million girls all over his instagram comments all the time

im not like those girls. i don’t think im like those girls. but i definitely exactly am

i have an economics test in fifteen minutes. i think one day ill drown in the atlantic ocean.

the test wasnt that bad. i thought about writing this the entire time. i would just zone out and stare and think about the phrase ‘al horford sleeper agent’

because he has to be. why else would someone put a diehard sixers fan right in front of a diehard celtics fan who looks exactly like the guitarist of their middle school favorite band

in reality i should be calling him a celtics sleeper agent because the whole point is that al horford is a sleeper agent for the celtics. but i hate al horford so i guess it’s more funny to include him in the title

i mean how can one player change so drastically like that? al horford was benched for the first time since his rookie season, like, two weeks ago after being traded to the sixers. how does that happen? why *wouldn’t* he be playing badly so his old friends win the title?

al horford’s gotta be retiring in like, three years, tops. he’s working for the celtics, i know it. and my sleeper agent is trying to convert me to a celtics fan

i understand why people make jokes, though. it’s a very human thing to want to go home. al horford just wants to go home. he lived in boston for however many years let me look it up

god whatever it was only three years i thought it was like eleven that just ruined my point

back to the matter at hand though that’s all we’re trying to do. we all just want to feel at home. we’re all just these little things trying to connect somehow. sometimes we are more desperate than others

i think im pretty desperate right now. sometimes i sit in my bedroom and im like damn when do i get to go home? but im home

i didn’t even want to leave dc. it was all star break and there wasn’t even basketball on. so there i was, in basketball purgatory, wizards territory for some god forsaken reason, losing sleep over a celtics fan and not wanting to go home

and when i say i was losing sleep you better believe me. i was so excited to wake up in the morning that i didn’t want to fall asleep. i wanted to be awake forever, endless, running through the city

i’ll get there soon enough. it’ll be with different people. college, yknow. all that. but sometimes i feel like certain things can’t be replaced.

and im acting like a different person lately. im using my phone at red lights just so i can check for a message from the sleeper agent. it’s always one word responses

yes. ok. maybe. some shit like that. a haha every once in a while. he’s not interested and i should stop trying

and then, INEVITABLY, i send something stupid back, a photo of my hand on the wheel or something, and i get left on read

and i know im stupid for it. everyone i know is screaming at me “disco, you’re dumb shit” but i just want to believe for a minute that im loved, im special

I want to feel like someone out there cares about me that isn’t obligated to, yknow? my mom can say she loves me all she wants but it doesn’t feel as good as some italian celtics fan saying it

some hot italian celtics fan mind you

even if he wasn’t hot or italian it would be nice. and actually it would be better if he liked like, ANY other basketball team

except maybe the knicks

but whatever. main point: i know im dumb shit and should stop trying. but it feels good to feel like if i keep trying maybe i’ll be wanted

sleeper agent is just one of those people tho. he’s magnetic and everyone always wants to be around him. dumb as hell in the most charming way ever. my friends are still all making fun of me

i started crying in a pizza place the other night because even the CONCEPT of italy sent me over the edge. i need to stop before i

wait what’s the word

i need to stop before i immortalize him? no, no

i need to stop before i deify him. soon enough he’s going to be a new canonical character in my head and i’ll start making up legends and stories to myself

we barely knew each other. if i deify him i’ll start telling people he offered me the celtics jacket when it was cold out. he’ll become a perfect gentleman. and he wasnt. he was just some stupid hot italian boy in a bright green jacket

im not going to deify him. it won’t happen. but i love the color green. i always say i love yellow more but i think that’s passed. i wear a green ring on my right ring finger every day. im not going to deify him and i still hate the celtics

overall, the celtics are winning the rivalry. i don’t think the sixers have ever truly been “great,” at least outside of philly. maybe allen iverson. wilt chamberlain. dr j? theyve never had like, a dynasty. idk. i don’t think you’d be able to get a sixers jacket in italy.

it’s his birthday today. i should probably text him. i should probably stop thinking about him. that’s just dumb shit, disco youre better than this what happened to a little self confidence every now and again

sure lets say external validation isnt necessary but also i think that’s something the mindfulness crowd made up to sell more planners and tote bags in 2011. it feels good to be wanted

never waste all your time on it sure. know youre still worth it even when you have no friends and there are a million girls all over his instagram comments. but it does feel good to hear “goodness disco i like how much you like the philadelphia 76ers”

my friends are all making fun of me for being on some romeo and juliet shit because he’s literally from verona and he’s a celtics fan and im a sixers fan god damn it disco why does this always happen

i never even read romeo and juliet but i saw the dreamworks adaptation so i guess ive got the story relatively right i know they die in the end. the gnomes shatter into little pieces i think

anyway tangents aside the sixers won tonight. philly is lit up green. why the hell is philly lit up green? the eagles were done like three months ago and the flyers are orange. why is philly lit up green

oh god, he just snapped me. a zoomed in photo of himself with caption that says “76ers” with like five exclamation points

here we go again, everybody

wish me luck

[magnetothemagnificent]

Ineffable Honeymoon: Part Three

(What happens when a honeymooning celestial couple visits the City of Independence? Quite a lot, actually)

They took the train to Philadelphia, which Crowley found utterly demonic, even for their standards. 

Playing the tourist bit, they took a tour of the Old City, led by a guide in period clothing. 

"And here we are at Independence Hall, where the Declaration of Independence was signed to break away from Great Britain," the guide explained.

"Down with the Brits," Crowley announced with a devilish grin. 

"Pip pip!" Aziraphale chimed mischievously.

They joined the tour across Independence Mall to the Constitution Center. 

"The Constitution and the Bill of Rights were momentous in the founding of the nation. They outline how the country and its government runs, and the liberties and rights its citizens have."

"If you're white, male, Protestant, and straight," Crowley muttered. 

"They're working on it," Aziraphale said in a hush. 

Once the tour was completed, Aziraphale and Crowley decided to walk to the Franklin Institute. 

On their way, they spotted a group of people dressed in black, white, and green clothes, crowded outside a bar chanting,

"E-A-G-L-E-S, EAGLES!" 

They behaved similarly to football fanatics back at home.

"What on Earth?" Aziraphale exclaimed, clucking his tongue in disgust. 

"Oh, Angel, allow me to introduce my most demonic invention. American football!" the demon smirked, sauntering up to the group.

"Oi!" 

The crowd turned to Crowley as they approached. 

"What can you tell me about the Cowboys?" they asked, feigning innocence. 

Darkness bubbled up from the crowd. 

"Cowboys…." the crowd seethed. 

"Those good-f'-nothin' cheaters."

"Worse than the Patriots?" Crowley egged them on. 

"Worse!"

The crowd suddenly broke into a rant about the long rivalry with the evil Cowboys.

Crowley slinked back to Aziraphale, who tried to hide his amusement. 

"Your lot may have initially founded the City of Brotherly Love, but my lot," Crowley declared proudly, "is responsible for the Eagles."

"The Eagles?"

"Yep. The only team with fans ruthless enough to throw snowballs at Saint Nicholas himself," the demon puffed out their chest. 

"They threw snowballs at Santa Claus?!" 

"Oooh yeah. Brilliant craftsmanship, if I do say so myself."

At the Franklin Institute, Crowley immersed themself in the Outer Space Exhibit. 

"They're so clever," they breathed, watching a video of a rocket launch.

"None of this would have been possible if it weren't for you," Aziraphale told them, gesturing to the space paraphernalia.

"What do you mean?" Crowley blinked. 

"Well, you gave them the ability to choose, to think, to imagine," their husband explained sweetly.

Crowley gaped. No one had ever told them anything positive about their actions in Eden. 

"D-dyou suppose I did the right thing?" they asked hesitantly. 

"It's ineffable. But I know it was a beautiful thing," Aziraphale answered, pulling Crowley close. 

"Come, my starmaker, we don't want to miss the planetarium show."

The lights dimmed in the planetarium, and Crowley leaned against Aziraphale.

"What's the show about?" Crowley whispered.

"Ssh, you'll see," Aziraphale patted his partner's thigh. 

It was pitch black now, and from behind Crowley's sunglasses, their yellow eyes glowed. 

They hoped they didn't disturb anyone. 

Suddenly, the domed ceiling lit up with stars, and at the center was a very familiar star system.

"Alpha Centauri, the closest star system to Earth and the third brightest star in the night sky," the narrator announced. 

Crowley looked up in awe, agape, and gripped Aziraphale's hand.

"While it may look like one very bright star, Alpha Centauri is actually two sunlike stars, orbiting so closely that they resemble one star."

Throughout the presentation, Crowley never blinked, and held onto Aziraphale.

As they walked out of the planetarium when the show was over, Crowley burst into tears. 

"I helped b-build that one!" they cried into Aziraphale's shoulder. 

"I know, I know, dearest."

Aziraphale stroked Crowley's hair soothingly. 

"W-we're Alpha Centauri," they gasped between sobs. 

"Yes, darling, we're Alpha Centauri. We're Alpha Centauri."

"I love you, Aziraphale," Crowley sighed.

"I love you, too, my darling Crowley."

[harrycicatello-blog]

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[imahopelessromanticonacid]

65 Questions You Aren't Used To (well, i found this and i know no one it’s going to ask me these things cause people barely follow me here, so i’ll just answer everything)

1. Do you ever doubt the existence of others than you?

Nope

2. On a scale of 1-5, how afraid of the dark are you?

1

3. The person you would never want to meet?

My ex-girlfriend’s new boyfriend.

4. What is your favorite word?

Foles

5. If you were a type of tree, what would you be?

A Weed tree

6. When you looked in the mirror this morning what was the first thing you thought?

“Shit, here we go again”

7. What shirt are you wearing?

A old vans gray shirt that I have since 2010(?)

8. What do you label yourself as?

Weird and unpredictable.

9. Bright room or dark room?

Dark

10. What were you doing at midnight last night?

Sleeping

11. Favorite age you’ve been so far?

19

12. Who told you they loved you last?

My mom

13. Your worst enemy?

My thoughts

14. What is your current desktop picture?

Tyler while singing WDBWOTV at the LollapaloozaBR this year.

15. Do you like someone?

Yeah

16. The last song you listened to?

Tears Won’t Cry - The Maine

17. You can press a button that will make any one person explode. Who would you blow up?

Trump

18. Who would you really like to just punch in the face?

Bolsonaro, Trump or anyone on the Francischini fucking family.

19. If anyone could be your slave for a day, who would it be and what would they have to do?

Nick Foles. I would have him throwing me the ball all day long and chat about life and how the fuck he is able to be so awesome and keep it calm all the time.

20. What is your best physical attribute? (showing said attribute is optional)

I have no fucking idea, I think my best physical attribute could be that i may not have any exaggeration? I’m not so tall and not so small. I’m not so fat and not so skinny. I’m just your average white guy.

21. If you were the opposite sex for one day, what would you look like and what would you do?

I think i would be like Avril Lavigne at the beginning of her career on that skater look. I have no fucking idea on what I would do.

22. Do you have a secret talent? If yes, what is it?

Maybe the writing? I do think I’m able to write some awesome stuff. Sad stuff when I’m down, but i also used to write a lot of good/happy/lovely stuff when i was in love and with my mind on the right place.

23. What is one unique thing you’re afraid of?

Pressure cooker if we’re talking palpable stuff. But what I’m really afraid it’s to not find someone special to spend the rest of my life with.

24. You can only have one kind of sandwich. Every sandwich ingredient known to humankind is at your disposal.

Sliced meat, gouda cheese, raw red onions, garlic mayo, crispy bacon on a toasted baguette.

25. You just found $100! How are you going to spend it?

Food, beer and pot.

26. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere in the world, but you have to leave immediately. Where are you going to go?

Philadelphia (on 99 out 100 opportunities)

27. An angel appears out of Heaven and offers you a lifetime supply of the alcoholic beverage of your choice. “Be brand-specific” it says. Man! What are you gonna say about that? Even if you don’t drink booze there’s something you can figure out… so what’s it gonna be?

Bodebrown beer, an amazing beer made here at my city.

28. You discover a beautiful island upon which you may build your own society. You make the rules. What is the first rule you put into place? 

Don’t be an asshole.

29. What is your favorite expletive?

“Filha da puta” (son of a bitch)

30. Your house is on fire, holy shit! You have just enough time to run in there and grab ONE inanimate object. Don’t worry, your loved ones and pets have already made it out safely. So what’s the one thing you’re going to save from that blazing inferno?

My xbox one.

31. You can erase any horrible experience from your past. What will it be?

Can be what I’m living on right now? If i’m talking on something about my past i would erase the day I applied to work on a cruise ship, that shit fucked me up so much.

32. You got kicked out of the country for being a time-traveling heathen who sleeps with celebrities and has super-powers. But check out this cool shit… you can move to anywhere else in the world!

Philadelphia

33. The Celestial Gates Of Beyond have opened, much to your surprise because you didn’t think such a thing existed. Death appears. As it turns out, Death is actually a pretty cool entity, and happens to be in a fantastic mood. Death offers to return the friend/family-member/person/etc. of your choice to the living world. Who will you bring back?

Man, I have the greatest luck that I’ve never lost someone really close to me yet. So I think i can spend this ‘wish’ on bringing Mac Miller back to earth, he went so early

34. What was your last dream about?

I don’t really remember, the last dream I remember was two nights ago and it was about her of course, it’s the only thing I’ve been dreaming about lately. Picturing and imagining all the kinds of scenarios and situations that would be able to brought us back together again.

35. Are you a good….[insert anything you’d like here]?

Friend?

36. Have you ever been admitted to the hospital?

Yep

37. Have you ever built a snowman?

Yes, at the only time I went to Europe. My snowman was fucking ugly hahahaha

38. What is the color of your socks?

White with a bit of red and blue.

39. What type of music do you like?

Mostly something that i can relate myself to. But my favorites types of music are Alternative Rock, Punk, Pop/Punk, Hardcore, Indie, Emo and whatever type that i could fit Twenty One Pilots and John Mayer. I also love 90’s hip hop.

40. Do you prefer sunrises or sunsets?

Sunsets

41. What is your favorite milkshake flavor?

Strawberry

42. What football team do you support? (I will answer in terms of American football as well as soccer)

Philadelphia Eagles and Liverpool

43. Do you have any scars?

Some little scars.

44. What do you want to be when you graduate?

Teacher

45. If you could change one thing about yourself, what would it be?

I would like to be a little less sensitive about a lot stuff. I’d love for me to not be bothered by dumb shit.

46. Are you reliable?

Yes

47. If you could ask your future self one question, what would it be?

When all of this madness on my mind gonna pass? If it’s that it will pass someday.

48. Do you hold grudges?

Unfortunately a bit, on some specific stuff.

49. If you could breed two animals together to defy the laws of nature, what new animal would you create?

This one is tough, I will not think on how this new animal would really fit into planet earth. I love dogs and I love turtles and how both live so I’d breed these two.

50. What is the most unusual conversation you’ve ever had?

I had a few but right now I can’t quite remember which one was the most unusual.

51. Are you a good liar?

Unfortunately, I think so.

52. How long could you go without talking?

A long time.

53. What has been you worst haircut/style?

The only time i cutted it without Rafa (who’s cut my hair since 2008 i guess). Before some holiday he was out and I had to go to some other place, it didn't go so well.

54. Have you ever baked your own cake?

Just while i was working at a brownie factory, while studying culinary of course and while i was a intern in a expensive restaurant that they put at bakery a few times. But I’d never baked my own cake outside those 3 situations.

55. Can you do any accents other than your own?

I don’t think so.

56. What do you like on your toast?

Butter and turkey breast.

57. What is the last thing you drew a picture of?

A gate. Was drawing it to go along some ‘Heaven’s Gate - FOB” lyrics that i wrote at my notebook. ‘Cause everything else it��s a substitute for your love...’

58. What would be you dream car?

A jeep like I already have but without all the mechanics flaws of it.

59. Do you sing in the shower? Or do anything unusual in the shower? Explain.

Always

60. Do you believe in aliens?

No

61. Do you often read your horoscope?

A few times but I don’t really believe on it.

62. What is your favorite letter of the alphabet?

M

63. Which is cooler: dinosaurs or dragons?

As a huge Charizard fan, i’m obligated to choose dragons.

64. What do you think about babies?

I like them. Would love to have kids at the right time of my life and with the right person.

65. Freebie! Ask anything interesting you can think of.

No questions here, i’ll just leave a picture of my dog here, cause she’s the best!

[wideouts4life]

NFL Week 8

This weekend of wideout play left me hanging on the edge of my seat. Them boys down in Miami are truly exciting to watch. “The Blur Brothers” a moniker given to them by yahoo sports, should be splitting the WOW (wideout of the week) award if not for the performance by A.J. Brown of the Philadelphia Eagles. The duo set a new record with the most receiving yards by teammates through eight games with 1,688 respectively. Tyreek Hill is on pace to surpass former Detroit Lions wideout Calvin Johnson’s 2012 record setting season of 1,964 yards with 2,042. Hill and Jaylen Waddle are #1 and #4 with 961 and 727 yards. I believe with the way Hill and Waddle are playing they could set another first by being the first pair to amass 1,500 yards receiving in the same season. Mr. Hill caught 12 balls for 188 yards and had a drop on a deep over route that surely would’ve put him past 200 yards on the day. Hill did not score but his partner in crime, Jaylen, found the end zone twice on an 8 catch afternoon that totaled 106 yards. I hope the dynamic duo play all 17 games so we as fans can sit and watch greatness unfold. A year after many-including myself didn’t think Tyreek would produce the way he has after leaving Patrick Mahomes and the Kansas City Chiefs. 

The Wideout of the Week award goes to Mr. Brown and we not talking James Brown; although the way his feet looked A.J. could be mistaken for the Godfather of Soul. A.J. had an incredible 6 catch day for 156 yards and 3 TD’s. Yes, Brown completed the hat-trick performance. On his first touchdown he caught a 43-yard bomb between two defenders bailing out his quarterback on a pass I thought should’ve been intercepted. The corner whomever he is should’ve been on suicide watch after the game. A.J. Brown caught his two other touchdowns on quick fade (25yards or less) in the same spot (right corner end zone) and almost had a 4th TD on a pass he dropped. The concentration on each of his touchdowns were remarkable and when this kid plays like this I really become enthralled watching him perform. 

In just his second game back DeAndre Hopkins put on a clinic. The 9-year veteran caught 12 balls for 159 yards and 1 sweet ass touchdown. Hopkins caught an eye popping 1-hand catch for 6 points on a stutter route that left safety Harrison Smith looking stupid. Hopkins caught a gamut of routes and appeared to not miss a beat. I love how he got to a defender’s blind spot on a comeback early in the game. With him back the Cardinals could have a chance to make a late season push to secure a wildcard spot in the playoffs. 

My surprise wideout this season is no other than Alabama legend Amari Cooper. I like many fans were bedazzled at Cooper’s ability. He checks all the boxes when dissecting the wideout position. After getting traded to the Cleveland Browns I honestly didn’t see him doing what he’s doing. Especially when I consider how many times he would take plays off in Dallas and still does in Cleveland. But outside of that I can tell two things are certain when observing Mr. Cooper. The first thing is he still takes getting off press extremely serious. When defenders line up pressed against him Amari destroys them. It’s alluring too. If the ball isn’t coming to him he doesn’t play hard nor fast. But when the ball is coming his way especially when pressed he transforms into a whole different player. He has put on weight but during such instances I surely cannot tell. And he still has another gear as we witnessed on a 53-yard pass where he accelerated pass safety and corner for a fingertip diving play. Cooper finished the afternoon with 131 yards with a TD on 5 receptions. 

I honestly had never heard of D.J. Moore until I checked the stats gen from NFL.com to see who eclipsed 100 yards receiving. While watching his tape I can see why I hadn’t heard of him. He dropped a few balls on what I would consider easy catch plays. And because of this I thought he was a rookie until finding out he’s a 5th-year pro. I’m not one to harp on drop balls. They happen and they are apart of playing the position. The catch Moore had to tie the game was reminiscent of the jump ball Aaron Rodgers threw to tight-end Richard Rodgers years ago in a game against the Arizona Cardinals that went into overtime. The fingertip touchdown catch of 62 yards behind a Falcons prevent defense that shouldn’t have let Moore get behind them, was a catch that should be nominated for play of the year. He looked explosive on his jet sweeps and outside of his occasional drop I look forward to Moore building on his 6 catch 152 yard performance. 

Mike Evans eclipsed the 100 yard mark with 123 yards by way of 6 receptions. I’m noticing a few drops this season by Evans which is uncharacteristic of him. Evans did catch a deep ball showing great concentration but on similar plays he appears lethargic and makes no attempt to aggressively play balls that are under thrown. Garrett Wilson is another wideout I’ve never heard of until this weekend. Maybe because he plays for the awful but improving New York Jets. Mr. Wilson caught 6 balls for 115 yards with zero tub’s. He looked good on a 22-yard jet sweet and I’m looking forward to his hard work getting him in the end zone. 

Terry McLaurin of the Washington Commanders is another wideout added to my list of unknowns. His game did the talking this weekend. McLaurin had a sweet jump ball near the goal-line of a pass that should’ve been intercepted. Early in the game he ran a stutter-in route and raced for a 40 yard+ gain. His team isn’t that good so unless he continues to eclipse the 100 yard mark that gets you talked about on this blog…this could be our last time hearing about him. 

Last but not least and definitely someone I love watching “HIM” Stefon “The Man” Diggs. Maybe from his time with the Vikings, it seemed as if the Green Bay Packers defenders had a vendetta against Diggs. One corner shit talked him in the tunnel before the game. Another corner tackled him late after he was beat on a stutter-go route for 6 points. And we know Diggs game shut them boys up after he finished the night with 108 yards on 6 catches. His lone score and a team did more talking than his words. 

Next week I will have my top 5-10 mid season list ready. Wideouts let’s go, play fast, finish strong and annihilate all db’s!

[judgepaper19-blog]

After A Big Win, Eagles Should Not Take Texans Lightly

Welcome to another installment of Crunching The Numbers, a weekly, stats-based game preview I do for Bleeding Green Nation. For more about the stats I use (and why I use them) to make my “armchair coach” observations, check out an archive of previous posts in this series here.

Week 15 In Hindsight

I hope you’re okay with talking about last week’s game. Personally, you could inject that shit directly into my veins, but that’s just me.

Also, if anyone could please tell me where I can get fresh crow, because I need to eat all of it. After the crushing loss to Dallas I said I had officially given up on the 2018 season, and while I still acknowledge their outside shot of making the playoffs over the next two weeks, I will 100% be following Cowboys and Vikings scores in addition to watching the Eagles. A week after I lamented the Eagles’ lack of a statement win this season, they go ahead and deliver one, and as a result have inspired hope, however small that might be.

As for the game itself, the way the offense came to life so quickly in the game was nothing short of a revelation. Apparently December is around the time that Nick Foles replenishes his Big Dick Energy. Maybe it has to do with the winter solstice? Who knows? Who cares? I certainly don’t. Seeing him revive his playoff self to beat the Rams was amazing, as I will never not hate Sean McVay and his stupid Wooly Willy beard for stealing the Coach of the Year award from Pederson last season.

Digging a bit deeper into the game, last week I said the Eagles should try to play keep away to limit the Rams’ scoring opportunities. Specifically, I said that if they had “2-3 more possessions” than the Rams by the middle of the fourth, they’d “at least be in position to take the lead, if not already winning.” It turns out they didn’t need that - by the middle of the fourth the Eagles ended up with one fewer drive, and both teams ended up tied with 12. They did win the TOP possession battle by holding the ball for 31:36. Much of what I wrote about the actual gameplan is somewhat moot since I did not know Nick Foles would be playing. (Tangent: I am not going to wade into the scorching “Foles vs. Wentz” debate here.)

Defensively, the Eagles didn’t do quite what I thought they should. There was no LB spy on Gurley, and Schwartz still refuses to play press under any circumstances whatsoever. Of course, I was not expecting the Eagles to jump out to a 17 point lead, which certainly made things easier for the defense. Instead of selling out to stop Gurley, they let the game situation take Gurley out for them and sold out to get to Goff instead. And you know what? It worked, as Goff was throwing behind receivers, out of bounds, or interceptions. So I’m not really upset things didn’t go the way I thought they would (or should). I’ll give McVay credit for making adjustments in the fourth to make it a one-score game, but not too much, since he seemed to forget that football games do, in fact, end and that he can’t just saunter his way into a comeback when his team is down 14 with less than 10 minutes to play.

As frustrating as this season has been at times, the Eagles are going to need to be dragged kicking and screaming out of the playoff picture. Will the 10-4 Texans be the team that does that? Let’s find out with this week’s game preview! Bold-faced statistics indicate that team has the advantage, while numbers in parenthesis are the league rank.

Game Preview: Houston Texans

For the second straight week, the Eagles only have the advantage in one area - time of possession, where they are third in the league behind New Orleans and Baltimore. We all know how that turned out last week, so this is a slam dunk, right? Maybe, maybe not. What seems clear to me is that Houston is a good football team (if not a great one) and that we should treat them as such. Let’s unpack how the Eagles might plan against them.

Eagles Offense

The Texans’ pass rush is more or less average (7.03 SACK%), but they have tremendous talent on the defensive line with J.J. Watt and Jadeveon Clowney, so the Eagles shouldn’t look to give them opportunities to pin their ears back. The Eagles’ primary goal should be to attack the short-to-intermediate on first down to set up as many 2nd-and-shorts as possible, for a few reasons. First, targeting that range opens up your whole playbook of rushing plays to establish the run. Second, Foles is the definition of a rhythm quarterback so starting drives off with quick slants or simple screen passes is an easy way to build his confidence. And third, once Foles has said confidence you can call shots down the field on those short 2nd downs, which he will 100% chuck the ball up there for someone to catch it.

I think some simple rollouts and bootlegs might be a good idea just to get Foles away from J.J. Watt. As we saw last week, he occasionally forgets that defensive lineman will try to make plays on the ball too, and Watt is an absolute monster who will be looking to tip passes that come his way.

Eagles Defense

The Texans are a well-run, efficient offense (14.5 Y/PT), but they are not a juggernaut like some of the teams the Eagles have faced this year. Schwartz did a great job of taking out the big play against the Rams last week and he’ll have to do it again this week. De’Andre Hopkins is the key to what lets Houston’s offense be dynamic, so making sure he does not get behind the defense - ever would be my #1 priority. I don’t care how deep you have to drop a slow-as-molasses Corey Graham back there. Do NOT let Hopkins beat you deep, because Watson will take that shot literally every time, as evidenced by his respectable 7.6 YPA.

To repeat myself from last week, I think you put a LB spy on Watson, too (Bradham is especially suited for this job). The Eagles have struggled against mobile quarterbacks in the past, and while Watson is not the athlete that Lamar Jackson or Baker Mayfield is, he can still move. If Watson escapes the pocket, someone is there to hit him quickly. If he stays in the pocket, read the play and either blitz or cover his checkdown. Schwartz loves to play his cornerbacks way off the line of scrimmage, and I’m concerned there will be room for Watson to scramble for 5-6 yards whenever he decides to run. Putting a spy on him can help take that element away from their offense.

Closing Thoughts

I’ve seen a lot of comments on here about not being afraid of the Texans since they are a “weak” 10-win team and that the Eagles are playing at home. I don’t think that’s being fair to the Texans and it’s worth remembering the Eagles are currently 4-3 at home this season. Houston has star players at most positions, decent depth, and a quarterback playing good football. If the Eagles want to extend their playoff hopes for another week, they need to take this team seriously, and we as fans should take them seriously too. It would be such a letdown to lose this game at home after a big emotional road win last week.

I have to say, for as frustrating as this season has been, and for as many times as I’ve been ready to give up, I’ve still had a lot of fun watching the Eagles this season. Their inconsistency is maddening, and their inability to close games might cost them the season, but if there is one recurring theme to this season is that they have refused to crumble after suffering devastating losses. I think that speaks to not only the connection the players have with the coaches, but also to the bond they have with each other. Win or lose, the Eagles are still an easy team to root for, and that alone is a good thing to have. (I don’t honestly know how Cowboys or Redskins fans do it.)

Source: https://www.bleedinggreennation.com/2018/12/19/18144287/crunching-the-numbers-week-16-nfl-game-preview-philadelphia-eagles-houston-texans-stats-engineering

[dressbank75-blog]

Eagles vs. Saints Game Preview: 5 questions and answers with the enemy

The Philadelphia Eagles (4-5) and New Orleans Saints (8-1) are set to play on Sunday at the Mercedes-Benz Superdome. In order to preview this Week 11 matchup, I reached out to our enemies over at Canal Street Chronicles. The cunning Chris Dunnells (@dunnellz) took the time to answer my questions about the upcoming game. Let’s take a look at his answers.

1 - SB Nation’s FanPulse results show that Eagles fans are expecting an 11-point loss while Saints fans are expecting an 11-point win. In other words, the Saints are clear favorites. But do you think there’s any trap game potential here? And if the Saints would lose this game somehow, how would that happen?

The only thing that could make this be a “trap” game is if the Saints are overlooking the Eagles to their Thanksgiving Day matchup against the division rival Atlanta Falcons.

But point spread aside, I think this game is going to be a lost closer than talking heads would predict. I’m personally terrified of this matchup. The Saints defense has consistently done one thing well all season, and that’s stop the run. They have also consistently struggled against one thing this season, and that’s defend the pass - especially deep balls. After losing Jay Ajayi, the Eagles don’t really have much of a run game to lean on, and I think that plays to their benefit this week. If the Saints were to lose, I think it’s because both teams get into a shootout and the Eagles were just fortunate enough to have the ball on the final drive or the Saints made one more error (maybe a turnover or failing to punch it into the end zone) on offense. I don’t see either team winning by double digits.

For what it’s worth, this will also be the first game in 2018 the Saints will be without their starting left tackle, Terron Armstead. In his place, the ageless Jermon Bushrod will be forced to step in. Time will tell how he holds up as a starter at this point in his career. While the Saints offensive line has been stellar (allowing only one sack combined to the Vikings, Ravens, Rams, and Bengals), that could change this week.

2 - If you could steal any player from the Eagles’ roster to add to the Saints, who would it be and why?

Zach Ertz.

The Saints offense has been incredible in 2018, and that’s with the Saints primary receiving corps consisting of Michael Thomas and...well...that’s it. Yes, the Saints lean on Alvin Kamara as a pass-catcher as well, but the Saints haven’t really gotten anything else out of their other wide receivers or their tight ends. Could you imagine what Drew Brees and Sean Payton could do with Michael Thomas wide, Ertz in the slot, Kamara and Mark Ingram in the backfield, and X-factor Taysom Hill lined up as another tight end? It would be absolutely unstoppable.

We’ve seen what the Saints do with elite tight ends (See, Graham, Jimmy 2011). If the Saints had Ertz, I really couldn’t see a weak point on this offense.

That being said, the Saints offense isn’t really the problem. If I were to look on the other side of the ball, my options on the Eagles roster is limited due to injuries. So if I’m forced to pick a healthy player, I’d go with Michael Bennett. Yes, he’s on the wrong side of 30, but he’s still a force to be reckoned with, and he could cause havoc on the defensive line.

(For what it’s worth, I’d prefer a healthy cornerback, but it doesn’t seem like you’ve got any of those to spare right now...)

3 - What is the Saints’ biggest strength? Where do they have the biggest edge in this game?

Drew Brees, the 2018 NFL MVP (Sorry, Patrick Mahomes, but this is Drew’s year. Just come to terms with it now).

Drew has thrown “only” 21 touchdowns in 2018, but has also thrown only one interception. And now typically as a fan of a team, you can watch all of a team’s games and say, “Whew, the quarterback is lucky to not have that ball picked off there.” But guess what? That hasn’t happened. Aside from his one interception, I can’t think of a single ball that Drew has thrown that was even a *near* pick. His ability to protect the football and throw his receivers open is absolutely incredible, especially considering his almost 40 years old.

4 - What is the Saints’ biggest weakness? What matchup concerns you the most about the Eagles?

As I said earlier, the Saints biggest weakness is the play of their secondary, specifically the slot cornerback. The Saints signed Patrick Robinson (heard of him?) this offseason to fill that role, but he was lost to IR early in the season. The Saints have been forced to play PJ Williams in the slot, and to say he’s struggled, would be like saying the Eagles’s 2018 season has been kind of disappointing to their fans.

Go back and look at Golden Tate’s numbers against the Saints. He’s a Saints KILLER.

96 yards and a TD in 2017. 145 yards and a TD in 2016. 45 yards but TWO TDs in 2015. 154 yards and a TD in 2014...

You get the picture.

In Tate’s first game with the Eagles last week, he failed to impress, but that’s largely due to needing time to understand Pederson’s complicated playbook. He should be much more familiar with the Eagles’s play-calling this week, and he’s likely to give PJ Williams (and Saints’ fans) nightmares.

5 - What’s your prediction for this game? And what are your expectations for the rest of this Saints season?

I see this game going something like 37-31, bad guys. No offense in the least bit, but the Eagles just “need” this game more. They’re going to be playing desperate. I could see the Eagles flying all across the field, making plays, laying it all on the line. Of course, every win in the NFL is important, but I could see the Saints falling just short to a scrappy and desperate Eagles team.

That being said, that doesn’t change my predictions for the Saints season much. The Saints are Super Bowl-or-bust in 2018. It would be absolutely poetic for Drew Brees to win his first MVP of the year in his final season, win a Super Bowl (in front of the Atlanta Falcons’ faithful, no less), and ride off into the sunset.

But I’m getting ahead of myself. I see the Saints making it into the playoffs, playing at least one of their games at home. Beyond that, who knows?

Source: https://www.bleedinggreennation.com/2018/11/15/18096333/eagles-vs-saints-game-preview-questions-answers-enemy-nfl-week-11-philadelphia-new-orleans-matchup