#out paragraphs on my phone

[dreadfuldevotee]

the hardest thing for me in this place is that there's like no way to get across the fact that I just say whatever sentence is funniest to me in the moment. Sometimes, there is not a single kernel of truth in this joke. But also sometimes it is deeply rooted in my philosophy and I will get mad if you don't understand that. I believe in lying on the internet but also in cursing people out for accusing me of lying about the wrong things. multitudes, I contain hmmm

[astranauticus]

link click yingdu ep 1 is truly the gift that keeps on giving the more you think about it the more layers you unlock. at first i thought the 'video call with phone in shirt pocket' trick is a pretty effective way of replicating their dives with like.. normal human technology without their powers and then i realised that's probably because lu guang specifically thought 'this is a situation that would call for a dive except cheng xiaoshi doesn't know about the whole time travel powers thing yet, what would be a good and reasonable approximation of that that i can spring on him rn'. also, we know this is not the first time he's experiencing this day because he was checking the clock before he proposed the whole video call phone camera thing, implying that he had the 'script' for this day just like he did with the anime convention, but even then he could only warn cheng xiaoshi about the guy behind him with the bat right before he was about to get hit - probably because cheng xiaoshi kept 'doing unnecessary actions' and messing up the timeline/lu guang's 'script' and forcing him to improvise. once again, lu guang's trying to protect cheng xiaoshi while also hiding information from him and cheng xiaoshi's failing to follow lu guang's instructions and putting himself in danger because of his own kindness and impulsivity - their entire dynamic moving forwards, captured in their first (arguably more like.. the 0th) 'job' together.

[mulders-too-large-shirt]

s5 episode 19 thoughts

last night’s episode had me singing. clapping my hands together and rejoicing. doing a little twirl, even. so i wonder where we will go from here? 

if i may be so bold as to venture a guess: i would say a two parter leaving on a cliff hanger that is resolved by the movie? 

hmm. i would be happy to be wrong, but we shall see.

post episode thoughts: i think i need to ponder this one for a few months and get back to you. there were things i liked, and other things that frustrated me, which i ended up spending quite a bit of time analyzing. still, i do not mean to be a total hater; my heart was melting at the hospital scene!!!

anyway, back to me from yesterday!

let's read the episode description... mulder is taken hostage?!?! oh, is scully going to go berserk? i am willing to see this. HOWEVER, i would prefer if my boy was left unharmed. maybe the captor will be polite. his poor finger probably still hurts!!!

but, a mulder kidnapping arc is good for me, because i believe being a damsel in distress ought to be a gender neutral role. so let’s see what we have going on

(and the episode is called folie a deux… shoutout to the best fall out boy album)

what if your job was to type into a blocky white computer and call people all day? this could be you, but it is the case for this man, named gary.

he is talking to an uninterested man about siding, and then auto calling someone else. i know these callers well. they plague my job.

an insect is here too, but we don’t have to worry about that. surely the sound design team did not put that in there purposefully for me to notice /s

gary is nervous as he makes another call and hears more insects. i don’t like this. wait, have i seen things about this episode before….?

BUG GUY???? 

gary is shaking with fear. WHAT IS HERE? the bug guy?!?! 

(loud cheering as the intro plays)

short intro….. i clock thee once again

skinner time!!! my heart rejoices at this. why does he have multiple globes in his office? and some books and what looks like trophies under his bill clinton portrait. i wonder if he plays around with them. 

agents mulder and scully are here!!!

uh oh… are they in trouble?!?!

they need to go to chicago to conduct a threat assessment. mulder wants to know why them. “because i prefer you did” <- ohhh yeah, give him the “i told you so” reasoning, skinner 🔥🔥

BAHAHA mulder picks up that the manifesto has “bizarre undertones” right away, which i think is a great way of describing something. and it speaks of a monster stalking employees!! augh. i hope the monster at least allows the workers their legally required breaks. 

(scully looks frustrated)

(mulder nods) "monsters. i’m your boy" <- LMAOOOOO STOPPPPPP WHY IS HE LIKE THIS I’M CRYINGGGG

he’s angry!!! he thinks skinner is mad at him 

“have i finally reached that magic point in my career where every time somebody sees bigfoot or the virgin mary on a tortilla, i get called out of my basement ward to offer my special insight on the matter?” <- oh. oh. i’m laughing, but i do feel a little bad. yeah buddy. that is kind of how you make a living. said with kindness though.

(i know he wants to genuinely know the Truth and find the answers and save his loved ones and learn the mystical secrets of the universe, and that there is angst in this genuine belief being misconstrued as the bigfoot guy, but you can see why such a mistake could get made when he is. you know. the way he is)

“you’re saying i a lot. i heard we” <- YEAHHH SCULLY! GET HIM!!!!!

(augh. and this plot once again fell victim to too much mulder saying i and not enough mulder saying we. probably my biggest complaint with this whole show)

she doesn’t think this case will be a waste of their time, but he says it won’t waste hers, because he will just go by himself! and he’s all pouty as he stalks off, leaving her looking confused. come on, monster boy. stop being emo.

oh, you know the episode is gonna hit when it says written by vince gilligan. i think? he’s the shippy guy, right? i normally don’t pay attention to these things, but people in the comments point out the writers, and he is spoken of positively 

(i googled his name to make sure i was spelling it right, and it turns out he also wrote breaking bad and better call saul. wow! that is a man with some serious credentials!)

so mulder takes off to chicago all by himself to listen to the taped manifesto at the vinyl shop call ceneter. it was sent to the local radio station with the instructions to play it over and over 24 hours a day. the subtitles allow me to know that this is the voice of gary, warning of an evil monster who hides in the light. mulder looks very very bored. 

the boss guy says he’s conducting his own internal investigation, which leads me to believe that he is the bug beast.

not even TWO STEPS OUT THE DOORWAY of that guy’s office and he’s calling scully LMAOOOOO I AM CRYINGGGGG... they cannot be separated or disaster ensues!!! 

he wants her to check on the phrase “hiding in the light”. OH she swivels around at their desk :,) her at the desk makes me so happy!

he recognizes it from an old file!!! “which one? there’s hundreds” “i’m not sure, but i appreciate it” <- AWWW poor scully has to go through 8 million x files looking for a phrase… deep scully sigh as she resigns herself to the glamorous field of archival work. at least he said he appreciated her hard work.

gary sees mulder here and is watching him…. and gary sees his coworkers being called in to talk with the manager. he tells nancy not to go in there!!! “gary, i love you buddy, but you’re really, really weird” damn nancy, get him again lmao

and gary sees the boss go bug mode!! and hears her screaming!! he’s crying while the other manager guy tells him to dial and smile!!

bro is having a complete breakdown… nancy returns to her desk looking like a zombie????? at least to gary. to the camera, she looks pretty normal. things are unclear, narrative-wise.

pretty mulder is listening to the manifesto and taking notes; he has this sort of loopy handwriting i really like. it's a little messy. and he’s written down and then crossed out "obsessive compulsive disorder". “formality of phrasing: desire for authority - to be taken seriously” YEAHHH GO MONSTER BOY GO🔥DO THAT PSYCHOANALYSIS YOU LOVE SO MUCH

meanwhile, gary is gathering ammunition and loading a gun!!!! oh my god????

scully calls!!! she found the phrase and who said it and when and where!!! again, you really cannot out-research her. back in 1992 in florida, a deacon was worried about evil in his church and then showed up and shot people. oh god. and he said “the afflicted ones won’t bleed” hey that’s horrific 

“scully, at the risk of you telling me i told you so, i think it’s time for you to get down here and help me” “i told you so”, she says, smiling <3 

AUGHHHH i need to scream into my hands for a moment

okay. i'm better now. that was just so damn cute.

mulder shows up the next day at the vinyl office place, but it’s empty!!! nancy says to get down… gary points a gun at him!!!! 

scully is pulling in to the parking lot while swarms of police and helicopters are everywhere…. scully introduces herself as agent mulder’s partner. the local FBI team doesn't have any updates on what is going on inside!!!!! 

they want to call him and she says NO. it could put him in danger. this other dude is being condescending to her and she again says NO. we need to find another way. so take that.

oh my god??? inside, gary is making some guy tie everyone up and kneel with their hands behind their heads?? he says the boss is who they should be afraid of and to shut up and stop crying. gary. bro. this is not a good look.

and he says he’s not talking to the people who aren’t human, referring to the first three people the boss took in his office…

mulder is coming in to save the day!!! he asks very calmly why they should be afraid of mr. pincus, claiming that he is here to apply for a job. i can only hope that i could be as calm as him in a hostage situation.

gary says that mr. pincus is a monster who will harvest their souls and turn them into zombies. okay. like in a corporate way or a literal way?

mulder’s slowly moving to grab his gun when gary looks away….

he says everyone needs to hold their breath, and as the local FBI team tries to break in, gary fires at the ceiling!!! maybe he’ll use up all his ammo???? and then mulder can attack???

WHY IS NO ONE LISTENING TO SCULLY WHEN SHE SAYS NOT TO CALL HIM???? Y’ALL ARE PISSING ME OFF!!!!

so of course his phone goes off when these fools call him, gary sees mulder’s gun, and they lose their ONE SHOT OF SAFETY, and gary slaps mulder across the face and SHOOTS AT SOME GUY WHO DARED TO MOVE OH MY GODDDD YOU BITCHES WHO DON’T LISTEN TO SCULLY ALL ARE GOING TO HELL!!!!!!!!

and gary finds mulder's FBI badge…. he picks up the phone and says he shot a zombie, but didn’t kill him. because he was already dead.

he says he will start killing actual people if they don’t get him on the TV!!!

scully says PUT HIM ON THE TV!!! WE DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS NONSENSE!!!

can they maybe film him and pretend to get it on the TV, and just get it on the local channel so it only broadcasts to the office TV or something????

gary. bro. i’m scared.

mulder tries to remind gary that the guy he killed was a man, but gary says it was a zombie. and that the boss wants to turn them all into drones.

mr. pincus asks a great question: if he is the monster, what does he need all of these people for?? he says to just wait until they put him on the TV.

when they call mulder's cell again, gary answers the phone with “dial and smile” ohhh…. this is truly a man who has had enough of his job

so they’re sending the camera people in…. and scully sees that gary is holding mulder at gunpoint!!!

ohh, they *are* doing a closed circuit broadcast, so gary sees himself on the office TV and no one else will be subjected to him!!! yeah, shoutout to technology.

the cameraman pretends some wires are twisted, which allows the FBI team to see that the wall is clear…. and mulder is forced to lay down…. and now gary’s addressing “the people”

mr. pincus is being held at gunpoint…. and mulder gets in the way… gary’s screaming and screaming at mulder to get him out of the way, but he won’t do it… and scully is WATCHING ALL OF THIS THROUGH THE CAMERA FEED… WHICH IS SO CRAZY

he hears the buzzing again…. and the lights are out…

does mulder see the bug man too?? or is it all in gary’s mind????

the FBI team enters and someone shoots gary. mulder is splattered with blood, but he is looking at mr. pincus suspiciously…… 

GARY WHISPERS “now you know” to him as he lay dying…

HOLY HELL?????????????

what. hey guys! what’s up? what is going on here.

poor pensive mulder is looking off at mr. pincus. “you look exhausted”, says scully, which he instantly denies. and oh, he’s going to talk to him. 

mr. pincus thanks him for saving his life. but mulder is in questioning mode. so mr. pincus had been, at some point, at the other plant where the incident went down a few years earlier, and had been to florida, where the x file case that scully had dug up in the files earlier was. bug guy… real??

scully is very confused. “what’s going on?” she asks softly, and he says he doesn’t know. ohhhh :( he sounded so lost :(

back to washington dc, where mulder is drawing lines on maps. with his poor busted lip and his poor busted finger. someone get him an ice pack

scully is shocked to see him! “mulder, why didn’t you take the day off?” he looks CRAZY and tells her to close the door. 

oh, what must be going through her mind right now…?

he found the phrase “hiding in the light” or variations of it in 5 other x files, but the variations he lists seem pretty different to me. all the other cases were people who said evil was right in front of them but no one else could see it. which seems like a pretty typical x file trope. i'm not sure if he's onto anything here.

she asks what we are all thinking: have you slept? he disregards this and keeps going. 

all of the cases with the phrase variations date back ten years, and that is how long pincus has worked for the vinyl company… hmm…

bro is still in his bloody shirt while trying to convince scully that perhaps a human bug creature could hypnotize its prey into not being visible. please get this man some clean clothes. it is not good to sit around covered in the blood of both yourself and others.

scully does not want to play along with gary's delusions or give them any credit. good for her!

“he was mentally ill. this monster was-was a sick fantasy, a product of his dementia”

(angry mulder nods) “i saw it, too.” (surprised scully face) “does that make me disturbed? demented? does that make me sick, too?” 

ohhhh, there is panic in scully, i am sure, but she is good at not showing it. 

(deep sigh) “no. no, this kind of thing is not uncommon. you… you went through a terrible ordeal, and sometimes people in close associations, under tense conditions, uh, the delusions of one can be passed onto the other” <- ohhhh scully… she is trying so hard to be kind and scientific and to support how he feels without fueling any harmful beliefs. it's a very careful dance.

he is furious though, insisting it’s not a delusion ("it's not folie a deux", he insists in the most american sounding way possible), and i can’t help but think about how his insistence on the existence of bug man fits in with his earlier disgust at being seen as the monster boy. well. you can see how these things happen when we wind up in this sort of situation.

he wants to prove that the people gary pointed out as not human really were turned into zombies somehow… maybe they can give them a checkup under the guise of “damn, y’all just went through some wild stuff”, but all i can think about is getting that man a fresh shirt and a nice long shower. can we give them a check up when you’re clean? please? thank you. bloodborne pathogens are scary.

scully refuses to autopsy the body- saying she won’t feed into the delusions- and he says he’ll prove it without her and storms off. 

she must be so worried about him...... he's clearly not himself

oh shoot… he goes to gary’s place and finds the same map tracking pincus that he had made!!! and then mulder sees a zombified nancy outside!!! he’s running off, but the guy he's with doesn’t see anyone!!!!

now she’s driving off with pincus… where are they going???

scully is here to talk to skinner. he wants to know: why is mulder being weird? 

AND WHY DID HE GET HER SCHEDULED TO DO AN AUTOPSY AFTER SHE SAID NO???? skinner KNOWS something is up and asks if there’s something she wants to tell him. she says “no, sir” and walks away, leaving him behind, confused

okay. so i feel like plotwise, i’m going to be annoyed if mulder is right, because he is acting really wild, and i get that it’s an intense situation, but you need to respect your partner. and listen to her and not make her do things that she refused to do. if he is behaving like he is having a break in his sanity, and scully is treating him with the care that this sort of situation affords, but then it turns out he was the only one clever enough to see the truth for the billionth time, making scully the scorned skeptic... well, it gets old after 5 seasons.

and we know that while he is often right about things, he is also incredibly prone to believing, and this can take him to self-destructive lengths, such as letting a guy put k in your brain until scully has to throw herself on him like a weighted blanket so he doesn't end things permanently. so. i don’t always trust his judgement.

but maybe she’s thinking, if i just autopsy the damn guy, we can get this over with.

all that being said: skinner’s confused face is so funny, lmao

scully does not want to do an autopsy. she’s outsourced it to someone else! i appreciate her sticking to her guns.

she’s trying to call mulder, but the guy doing the autopsy says it looks like the shooting victim has been dead for 2-3 days… and she says no, he died yesterday. HMM. weird. you can see the realization on her face…. something weird is going on here. but is it as strange as mulder claims?

pincus is going… somewhere. well, you better believe mulder is tailing him. hard for a guy that tall to be stealthy. 

he moves the picnic table to look into the window of this house, and he sees the bug guys!!! then he breaks in, seeing an eyeless woman and a bug guy crawling behind him!!! breaking and entering... not a good look

the CGI is killing me lmao. bro is leaning out the window. LMAO WHAT THE HELL I’M HOWLING LOOK AT THE BUG GUY SCURRYING AWAY BAHAHAAAAAAAAAA 

we need to appreciate this for a moment. crazed mulder breaking into some rando's house and shooting at the human-sized bug.

bug guy jumps off of the roof!!!

skinner is listening to the woman whose house he broke into testify… she says she felt a presence creeping towards her… and then this madman was in her house (pan to mulder) uh oh!!! one of many times mulder could have been fired, tbh!!!

she says he was screaming about monsters more than gary!! and then she leaves saying he shouldn’t carry a gun!!!

oh, mulder... what are we going to do with you?

pincus stays behind… oh, skinner is going to go nuclear on mulder if he opens his mouth to call him a monster one more time… poor skinner…….. pincus says he still considers mulder a hero for helping with the hostage situation, which is why he wants to handle this privately

LMAOOOO WAIT MULDER YELLED MORE AND NOW SKINNER IS SCREAMING AT HIM AND MULDER SEES PINCUS TURN INTO BUG MAN RIGHT BEHIND HIM!!!!!!!!! HOLD ONNNN IT’S NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FUNNY BUT IT LOOKS SO SILLY I CANNOT HELP BUT LAUGH

skinner has to pin him down after he pulls out his gun!!!! oh my god!! he is gonna get fired for real!!!

(funny how often skinner and mulder come to physical blows. i just think it's neat)

mulder is in the hospital in chicago, and scully slips her hand into his (stop. i’ll cry. hey i’ll cry) and he says “five years together, scully. you must have seen this coming” <- HEY IS HE GETTING FIRED FOR REAL?? or just announcing the formal loss of his sanity?!

she says they more or less found what they thought they would find in the body… it looked more decomposed than it ought to have… but that really isn't unusual

oh, look how pained she looks as she listens to him try and explain the monster. he says pincus bit the lady whose house he broke into's neck. now is this a bug or a vampire? i guess those two categories have some commonality

she says the case is closed, and she only has hope he can see past this delusion AUGHHHH

i am imagining being scully in this situation and how much it would hurt to see your bestie and partner like this.......

“you have to be willing to see” “i wish it were that simple” “scully, you have to believe me. nobody else on this whole damn planet does or ever will” OUGHHHHHHHHH

:( :( :( monster boy......

“you’re my… one in five billion” OHHH. HE SAID THE THING. THE BLOGS QUOTE HIM SAYING THE THING ALL THE TIME. AND HE SAID IT!!! AND MY HEART DID A FLIP.

look at her looking at him……

that feeling when your bestie is out of his mind, begging you to believe in the bug men, and he says you're his soul mate.......... yeah.

back to autopsy land. this other dude is very confused as to why she wants to flip him over. AUGH. bites! bug bites!

she is shaving the dead body's head. which is not something i ever thought you had to do, but here we are. she shaves that dead body like a pro. and AUGH. more bites. 

poor mulder is being restrained and shot up with stuff :( our pathetic man is suffering…….. 

he hears insects!!! did they bite him too???

NOOO!!! he sees the insect!! he’s screaming for the nurse!!!

he sounds absolutely wild as he tries to convince her there’s something at the window, and for her to let him go. oh, she opens the window…. is there something on her neck……. it looked like... juice?? gag.

he hears more insects…. i think it’s coming in his room?? it’s climbing on the wall?? 

OH SHIT!! the nurse is not letting scully in!!! and she sees her as a zombie, too???

SCULLY PARANORMAL MOMENT?!?!

OH, SHE BURSTS INTO HIS ROOM AS HE’S SCREAMING, AND SHOOTS THE BUG MAN!!!!

she’s looking at the window like wtf… am i going to have to pay to get that fixed…? and also was that really a bug man...? a lot of important questions are being communicated despite the lack of works

while he’s still fighting his restraints…

cut to a baffled skinner. “agent scully, i have to say, i’m at a bit of a loss here” LMAOOOO me too girl

“do i infer correctly from this that you believe there’s some… merit to agent mulder’s claims?”

(god, i typed "clams" at first. i wish there was merit to his clams)

this is shocking, but not unheard of. listen! scully just wants answers, okay? and sometimes they lie in the category of science yet to be explained.

(long scully pause) “i believe that agent mulder is mentally sound and fit for duty. aside from that belief, i can only present to you the few hard facts that i've been able to gather” <- queen of giving a measured response in a purple suit 

oh shoot!! there was a toxin in the spine of the shooting victim!! and pincus is gone without a trace, with 6 other key witnesses!! including the nurse!!!

skinner wants to know what the intruder looks like… she deflects that it was dark. that is all we hear her say, even though i wouldhave loved to know how that conversation ended.

scully and mulder reunite as they enter an elevator. “what did you tell him?”, he asks her. “the truth… as well as i understand it” “which is?” (long scully pause) “folie a deux… a madness shared by two”

hey. why does it sound like she knows french when she said that? because i know that mulder took french, but he said it as american as possible. however, she took german and said that pretty darn well. 

blushing a little.

AUGH, and a new company for WINDOWS has insect noises going on at the call center!!!

and so, the monsters continue to spread, ready at any moment to end humanity; a typical ending to an episode.

well. what did i think of this one?

hmm. i’m not sure. i was hoping mulder was going off the deep end rather than him being the most specialist boy of all who can once again see what the rest of the world cannot. he’s right too often, and we end up in the same situation where scully refuses to listen to his theories on account of the fact that he sounds crazy, and then he lowkey bullies her into doing what he asks rather than always considering her input, and then he ends up being right.

someone once got mad on one of my posts and said scully hates mulder (lmao. can you imagine?) because she never believes him even though he tends to be right. and buddy, i cannot really accept that as valid criticism, even beyond the whole point of the show being that yeah, they don't see eye to eye on supernatural matters. that is the most watsonian explanation to an incredibly clear doylist pattern, which is that mulder is the most special boy of all in this show and he knows all of the things and everyone else is a mere fool. this pattern annoys me greatly.

i just think it's funny (said with sarcasm) that someone would take the watsonian, in-universe explanation that hates on the woman character rather than acknowledge the fact that the writers clearly had a bias between the two. lmao.

and yeah. there are elements of both. scully is both purposefully written as stubborn in the face of his outlandish theories due to her loyalty to science as an element of her character, AND purposefully written as the one who naively refuses to believe mulder as some sort of audience proxy, because augh, that woman, she just won't believe our most special gifted genius agent mulder!

you can see how those two things work together, but one is clearly the result of the other. character decisions come from writers who often have their own biases and agendas rather than out of some mysterious creative ether from which a character emerges fully formed.

and poor skinner, trying to deal with mulder's often violent impulses. 

i think it’s very interesting that scully believes herself and him to be victims of a shared madness. it’s the most logical belief for her to have, but it also places this kind of… like, concerning element to them being together. is everything they have experienced a shared madness? or just this after the trauma of him being held hostage? how can you trust your memory? how can you trust what you see? 

i also think it’s very interesting how she refuses to feed his delusions at all when he proposed the idea. she would not do the autopsy. and from his psych training standpoint, i imagine that he knew she would say that, but was still hoping against hope because he was so out of his right mindset. she stuck to what she believed would help him recover, which is really admirable and doctor-y of her.

god, her slipping her hand into his as he’s in the hospital…

see, this is the problem with this show. it’s got me philosophizing on the meaning of the bug men. first of all, if they’re the ones in charge of call centers, i’m not really that surprised. corporate work turns you into a zombie; you don’t have time for passions or pursuits of your own, you just work for the shareholder. i get that interpretation. 

but other than that, what are we to think of the bug men? are we to call into question the things that we see? are we to believe the manifestos and ramblings of people like gary? 

i’m going to probably just assume it was a sort of “wouldn’t it be fucked up if…” situation the writers concocted. yeah it *would* be fucked up if there were bug guys in the call center taking over america through ceaseless barrages of advertising. you've got me there, vince.

my feelings on mulder’s behavior are complicated. maybe it was a shared madness between them *and* there were some shady bug things going on. him sitting there still the day after the hostage situation, having gotten no sleep, still in his bloody shirt, drawing lines on the map… i mean, he did not seem well, even for a guy famed for his bouts of obsessive focus. 

i am going to think on this one for a bit. perhaps a more coherent train of thought will arise. but for now, i have written a treatise on the nature of this show's frustrating parts while also highlighting the parts that made me giggle. like "i told you so" and scully's good french and mulder's terrible french and holding hands and undying love <3

[ssongsboo]

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⟢ 오직 너 하나면 돼 .ᐟ

you never thought you’d end up like this with junseok- pressed against the wall of his studio, his face inches from yours, eyes alight with something almost tender. every encounter with him had been a whirlwind of sharp words, teasing grins, and a fire in his gaze that dared you to push him a little further.

yet here you were, trapped between him and the wall, his gaze softened and unreadable, hinting at frustration and something else entirely. “why do you always have to get on my nerves?” he murmurs. his hand lifts, fingers grazing your jawline in a way that feels both daring and uncertain, as if he’s testing a boundary you never realized was there. you smirk, though you feel your heartbeat quicken, every inch of you aware of the closeness. “maybe because you let me,” you reply, your voice carrying a slight edge, masking the thrill his touch ignites. a heartbeat passes, and then another. you can almost feel his resolve crack as his lips capture yours in a kiss that’s anything but gentle.

it’s messy, a clash of pent-up frustration and undeniable attraction, each movement filled with the intensity of everything left unsaid. his hands find their way to your waist, pulling you closer as if he’s afraid to let you slip away, his grip firm yet careful. in the haze of the moment, the line between rivalry and something deeper blurs. the usual quick-witted comments, the playful taunts- all dissolve, replaced by an unexpected vulnerability. for the first time, you’re seeing junseok not just as your annoying coworker, but as something more, something softer hidden beneath his usual tough exterior. as the kiss deepens, you let yourself get lost in the warmth of his touch, in the quiet revelation between the two of you. finally, you pull back just enough to look into his eyes, searching for some sign of what comes next. “what do we do now?” you ask, the words slipping out before you can stop them. he hesitates, a flicker of uncertainty in his gaze. but then his mouth curves into that familiar, slightly lopsided grin, the one that always drives you a little crazy. leaning in, he rests his forehead against yours, his hands still gently tracing your curves. “i don’t know,” he admits, voice softer than you’ve ever heard it. “but i don’t care. we can figure that out along the way” his thumb brushes your cheek, eyes locked onto yours. “as long as i have you right now.” for the first time, there’s no need for the usual banter or defenses. you feel the weight of his words settle between you, the once-playful tension giving way to something softer, uncharted but undeniably real. he pulls you closer, his hands slipping down to your waist as his lips find yours again, deeper this time, as though he's savoring every second. the quiet hum of the studio fades away, leaving just the sound of your breaths mingling, the press of his body against yours, and the warmth radiating between you. his hands wander, sliding up your back and settling just under the hem of your shirt, fingers grazing your skin in a way that sends a thrill up your spine. he pulls back just enough to look at you, his eyes darkened with a hunger you hadn't seen before, a smirk teasing at the corner of his lips. "you know," he teases, his voice rougher now, "for someone who gets on my nerves... you sure do have a way of making me forget why." you smirk, fingers drifting over his collar, tugging him just a little closer. "guess i’ll have to keep you distracted then." with a low chuckle, he leans in, his lips brushing along your jaw, slowly trailing down your neck. the gentle graze of his teeth against your skin leaves you breathless, your hands clutching his shoulders as he presses you back against the wall. there’s a new intensity in the way he holds you, something raw and unrestrained, like every playful taunt and glance between you two has led up to this very moment.

"think you can handle that?" he whispers, his voice laced with challenge and heat, his gaze piercing and unwavering as he searches your face, waiting for an answer. you smile, leaning up to capture his lips once more, deeper, slower, pouring all the unspoken tension between you into the touch. you feel his body tense, his hands tightening around you, as though he's holding on for dear life. he breaks the kiss with a ragged breath, his forehead pressing against yours, and you can feel his heart racing just as fast as yours. his hands drift down your arms, fingertips lingering as if memorizing every curve, every inch. there’s a look in his eyes now, raw and unguarded, something deeper than just attraction. "maybe we should take this somewhere a little more... comfortable," he blurts out, his thumb tracing gentle circles on your wrist as he studies you, the suggestion hanging in the air between you. you feel your cheeks warm, a thrill sparking through you at the thought. "lead the way." with a playful grin, he takes your hand, pulling you toward the door, and as you both slip out of the studio and into the quiet night, you know you're crossing a line you'll never come back from. but as he glances back at you, his eyes filled with promise and intensity, you realize that maybe that's exactly what you've been wanting all along.. it’s a promise and a dare, one you're both more than ready to keep exploring. as you’re walking down the street with him you realize just how much he’s come to mean to you, the way he challenges you, keeps you on your toes, and pulls you into a world that’s more exhilarating- and comforting- than you ever expected. “i guess it’s not as complicated as we thought,” you whisper, half to yourself, your fingers intertwine with his, squeezing his hand in excitement for what the future holds for the two of you. junseok lets out a low chuckle, shaking his head. “says the one who started all the teasing,” he says, his grin returning, but there’s something warm in his gaze now. you roll your eyes but smile “oh, don’t act like you didn’t love every second of it.” his laughter echoes in the dark of the night, warm and unguarded, and for a moment, you’re both just standing there, laughing, feeling the weight of unspoken things finally lifted. he pulls you into a loose hug, his arms wrapping around you, his breath warm against your ear. it feels natural, like you’ve been here a thousand times before. and maybe, in a way, you have- just never like this, never without the masks. it feels like you’re exactly where you’re meant to be.

[cherryblossomshadow]

This summary is factually incorrect, but I saw this post and I just wanted to make a silly, low-effort meme about one of my favorite witcher fic universes. And now I'm off to go reread my favorite installments

The OG: With a Conquering Air by inexplicifics (@inexplicifics)

And an incredible Geralt POV remix: For the Asking by gremble (@abeautifulblog)

[bearenjoyers]

sorry im just thinking about bcs but like. why not add a few smaller scenes of gus interacting with his own men? why does it seem like, in comparison, mike is almost immediately elevated to a higher status than those two in bcs purely because we actually get to see him having normal conversations with gus? like i understand they might not keep the plot moving as well because of the fact obviously if victor is currently doing something it’s because gus told him to etc. but for the most part all of the smaller interactions gus does have with those two ends up being in a somewhat high stress situation where it feels very tense between everyone. and it’s just like damn! is it always like that?? why do those two even care that much about their jobs if their boss is a bit of a dick? etc. i think even an additional scene or two with those guys (either alone or the both of them) talking with gus in a more normal situation could’ve both added a bit more depth into how gus treats his employees (we got a lot with how he treats lyle and co., but not a whole lot with the illegal side of things), how comfortable vic and tyrus feel around him in a calmer setting, and exactly why they both feel the need to be as loyal as they are to the guy.

and also on the other side of this i don't think it'd hurt to maybe elaborate on their pay just a bit..? i'm not saying to randomly put a number out into the atmosphere but i just mean some smaller things like. do they buy nicer things for themselves? what's their housing situation? what's their car situation? are the escalade / yukon their own vehicles or does gus just use those two for business situations? do they use them when they're doing their own stuff off the clock or do they have their own cars? etc. that can also help with understanding their motivations a bit. don't get me wrong i don't think they should be visibly rich or something because that's not what gus would want but just smaller things! cause it's easy to write their loyalty off as Well they probably get paid super well, which i'm sure is true, but if they don't show a single hint of that then what's the point. even something as simple as giving tyrus a nice watch, or maybe victor having a nicer looking gun, etc. something small like that. because as it stands right now the average 41 year old viewer who watched the show once only knows and will only ever know victor and tyrus as those two guys in the background who do random stuff for gus with no clear motivation. just the personification of "On it boss (salute emoji)". and to be honest this is true for a whole lot of fans who do watch the show multiple times and enjoy thinking about it more in depth, because on screen we barely have anything about the two.

and to be clear i'm not trying to say we should have an episode just for them or something like no i understand they're side characters. i understand we don't need all that. and i understand this is also primarily Jimmy's show. but it's not like these two are on the same level as like, arlo or paige and kevin etc. these guys have been around since brba. victor was literally introduced in the same episode gus was. and they are a huge part of gus's story, especially in brba. s4 wouldn't have been what it was without victor and tyrus. and in bcs, ignacio's situation wouldn't have been the same if it weren't for victor and tyrus as well. and i just personally believe that if their goal with gus in bcs was to go back and elaborate on how everything came to be and show what he was like a few years younger, they could've dragged victor and tyrus into that. and i think his character would've benefited from taking that extra step with those two.

[writingboutbrainrot]

All of Me Loaves All of You [ch2]

[ch0 | NOW ON A03]

Today was the big day. Louise was woken up way too early for her taste, 6 a.m., to go to the wedding venue. To save on costs the whole thing was very DIY - aside from renting a ballroom and hiring a caterer, no way was Bob Belcher catering at his own daughter’s reception and missing out on the important stuff. Besides, he still hated catering. 

So Louise had to be up at the buttcrack of dawn to go and help make sure everything was perfect. Which of course she was the perfect person for the overseeing of...just not for another few hours. Or at least 5 or so shots of espresso. Which she halfway downed on the drive with her parents and Gene.

Zeke’s cousin Leslie was already unfolding chairs outside when the Belchers arrived, a gaggle of children running around and not really helping. Who was helping though was a very tired looking blonde. Louise grimaced as Logan spun around, swinging a chair like Leatherface as he tried to not hit any of the children dashing about. He was very off balance and Louise sipped her caffeine and hoped she’d see him fall. Maybe he’d twist his ankle and someone else would have to stand it as best man. Leslie would be a suitable choice, he could even dance.

No such luck. Brown eyes squinted as the man righted himself and managed to set the chair down without incident. They then looked down at her just as dark coffee as the blonde started walking over with one of those smarmy little smirks of his.

“You gonna help with the labor or just stare at the workers?” he chided, arms crossed and that left brow of his raised so high Louise thought it may get lost in his bangs. Not bangs she could hide under like an umbrella if it rained, but a jungle that her fingers would probably get ensnared in if she- 

She blinked. Then she scoffed. “Unlike yooou, I have the all important job of making sure the bride doesn’t lose her shit. This means that I don’t have to do manual labor, thank you very much.”

Logan rolled his eyes and huffed a little, but then he motioned to the building. “Bride-not-zilla is in there with Susmita already.” He looked like he was about to say something else, but Louise spoke first,

“Great well you keep doing a mediocre job out here and I’m gonna go crush it in the dressing room.” 

She pushed past him, a little bit of coffee splashing his shirt and giving a “ha!” when he called out her name in an accusing whine. 

Dodging way too rambunctious children, Louise crossed the lawn and the ballroom. Then she cracked the door open for a decency check before sliding in. Linda had beelined when they arrived and was flitting about while Susmita handed a robed Tina a thermos.

“Bit early for vodka ain’t it?” Louise cracked. Her sister gave a sleepy glare. She shrugged and muttered, “Tough crowd,” and went to the pile of bags. She and her mom had put their stuff in the same bag and now was the time for Louise to dig around. They had a couple of hours before they were needed for the photoshoots, but Louise knew if she wanted to avoid manual labor she should get ready asap.

“Louise don’t you wanna lounge for a bit in the fancy robes?” Linda asked, waving a fluffy pink robe around. The question stopped Louise in her tracks. She stared at the cloth in question as it beckoned like a siren. If she put that on then not only would she not be forced out of the room, but she also wouldn’t have to use any effort to make herself up much earlier than she needed.

“Yes Mother, I would like to lounge in the fancy robes, thank you.” Louise agreed while putting down the bag. She took the robe from her mom and slid it over her pj’s. The microfiber fleece lulled her into a sense of security. How can Tina be grumpy in this?! she wondered for a moment. But then she remembered how little sleep everyone had gotten.

“Alright so. What’s the game plan Sus?” She decided it was going to be much better directing all inquiries to the bride’s maid who had it all together.

-x-x-x-

An hour of sitting around later and Louise found herself growing….bored. She was currently hanging upside down on the settee, scrolling aimlessly on her phone. Her coffee was gone and replaced with a mimosa flute. Which she was nursing because she felt like 8 am was too early for alcohol but Linda was still always ready to get a party started.

“Besides, Louise, a mimosa is a morning drink. It’s perfectly acceptable,” the older woman insisted while lifting her own flute up.

“It’s a brunch drink, Mom,” she countered with a smile. “Brunch starts at 11, 10 if you’re being generous.”

“9 am if you’re in the Philippines,” Susmita chimed in without looking away from her tablet. Louise heard a Level Up come from the device and caught Susmita grin.

Linda let out a tchk. “Ahhhh you girls and your cement-ticks.”

“Semantics, Mom,” Tina joined in. Her tea was finally kicking in, she still wasn’t allowed to have coffee after that whole espresso episode she had as a teen.

“What did I say?”

“Nevermind, Mrs. Belcher. Hey, do you know when Gretchen will be here?” Susmita asked, expertly redirecting the subject. Louise admired that. It was nice to have someone else who could handle the family.

And like magic, the door opened to reveal….Tammy and Jocelyn. Louise groaned the smallest amount. The two may have grown up over the years, and sure Louise and Tammy have had their fair share of “same wavelength” moments but... 

“Tinaaa, girl we’re heereee!” Tammy exclaimed with way too much energy for 8 in the morning. She made a type of shrill sound that Louise wasn’t sure she could describe. “I can’t believe you’re getting married today!”

“Yeaah you’re, like, making it so official today,” Jocelyn added in the same lilted monotone she’s always had. Her head turned to the minibar next. “Ooo is that orange juice?”

Some things don’t change and it was just too early. So Louise took this as her cue to stop hiding inside and flipped herself off the settee. “Whelp looks like you’ve got enough people to hold down the fort in here T, I’m gonna make sure everything’s going smooth on the battlefield,” she announced while straightening out her robe.

Before Tina could protest, Louise gave her older sister a quick kiss to the top of her head which was graciously washed this morning, and headed out the door with her mimosa in hand.

She didn’t immediately regret it, even if she had to quickly dodge a gaggle of scamps rushing by. But she did so without spilling mimosa, so that was a win. Smirking to herself, she noticed Gene shuffling by.

“Yo Gene, where’s the fire?” she called, already heading toward them. 

The middle Belcher looked around without stopping. “Oh Louise!” They gave an appraising up and down glance before pointing. “I do hope that I have a robe waiting for me in either dressing room.” When Louise just raised her eyebrow, they shrugged and turned back to watch where they were going. “The fire’s at Alex’s van. Not a real fire, this time, just that the equipment is there and it needs to be-” they flailed an arm in the general direction of the building, “there.”

Louise now regretted coming outside. Or at least regretted blindly following her sibling. Carrying equipment while holding a drink was going to be way more work than she planned on doing.

“Bob why don’t you trade m-” a voice grabbed Louise’s attention, shaking her from her musings. Not that she’d admit just whose voice did that. A little ways in front of them Bob was at a wizard painted van with Alex and Logan, waving the blonde away with one arm and clutching something that looked hefty in the other.

“I got it, Logan, don’t-” pause for straining noise, “don’t worry about it.”

Gene and Louise shared an eye roll and hurried a little faster to the group. Louise shouted out, “Dad come on you’re one wrong breath away from dying at any moment, let the middle aged guy throw out his back instead.”

Close enough now, Louise could see Logan huff and roll his eyes. “I’m not even 30, Four Ears.”

“And?” she quipped back, not having any real backup. Which she cleverly hid with a sip of her drink. Seeming to pick his battles, Logan just shook his head. Louise thought she saw the corner of his lips tug up. But that’s something neither of them would admit.

Turning her attention back to her elderly father, Louise tutted. “For real, Dad, let someone else get that. I’ll trade you,” she said while holding out her half empty flute. The fast action caught the patriarch off guard and he precariously handed the cargo over in exchange. Louise finished the transaction by taking a careful step towards Logan. 

“And now you take this,” she chimed while lifting the luggage by the handle. When the almost-30 year old took it without a second thought Louise prided herself on not cackling right away. The double take he did when he realized what happened caused her to burst, however.

Of course she had expertly weaseled her way into carrying the smallest thing there was. “You were really going to make the father of the bride carry a cd case? You monster,” she teased. 

Logan let out a single bark of a laugh. “You should’ve been out here earlier when I handed him the extension cord.” The twinkle in his eye as Louise reached for imaginary pearls was not to be missed. And Louise thought she caught that too. “This is the last of it though. So classic Louise-timing.”

“Pssh, it’s an art, really,” the young woman boasted. She tried to block out Gene and Alex behind them. But when your sibling only knows stage whisper as a lowest setting that was difficult, especially when that skill is extended to their platonic soulmate.

It was Alex who spoke the question, “Do you think we’re going to perform at their wedding soon?” 

And Gene who answered, “Not for another 7 years.”

“Right, right. In their 30’s,” Alex concluded, referring back to Gene’s ancient prophecy. 

For the millionth time in 3 hours, Louise rolled her eyes. Gene said a lot of things off the cuff, and that was just one of those things. Her sibling was not a prophet, and she was never going to reconnect and marry Logan Barry Bush in her 30’s. For one thing, they had already reconnected now, before Louise’s 20’s. So that was already not going well in Gene’s favor. 

Still, she cast a quick glance at Logan and noticed that his face was just the slightest shade of pink. An impish smile took her face.

“I don’t know Logan, I think we should see if Hall and Oates would get back together for us. If they’re still alive in 7 years that is,” she said a little louder than normal. The blonde had the briefest moment of confusion before that rusty gear in his brain clicked over.

“Awh but I was really looking forward to Beyonce,” he pouted.

“I don’t think we’d be able to afford her baby,” she consoled. Cue the indignant gasps from the peanut gallery in the back, and a confused noise from Bob up front. Choosing to leave the former suffering, Louise called out to the latter, “Nothing, Pops!” Then shared a snicker with Logan.

And that really helped pass the steps back to the main area. Thankfully because Louise was thinking that she needed a refill-osa after that. God maybe I am turning into Mom a little. 

“So has anyone checked on Zeke?” she asked, setting down the cd case and opening the door to the building. Gene went right on past her, presumably to cash in on their own pink fuzzy robe. Without answering, so she assumed that was a “no”. So she looked directly at Logan.

“Yeah I’ve been checking in between tasks. He’s got the rest of the party in there with him for company.”

Satisfied with the answer, Louise gave a nod and went inside. Sure enough, Gene was walking out of the “girl’s room” in a fluffy pink robe and two flutes of whatever concoction they made. Louise knew one was non alcoholic for Alex, so it was probably just orange juice and Spryt. The two passed with a nod. However Gene paused and caught Louise’s attention.

“You’re not really gonna hire someone else to do music for your wedding, are you?”

The youngest Belcher sighed with a smile. “Of course not. If I ever get married you’re the first person I’m hiring. Third person I call. If I don’t dual-call Tina and Millie first I’m pretty sure they’d materialize and murder me.”

Gene laughed and gave a thoughtful, “That does sound like them.” Then they were out the door and waving one of the flutes around, splashing the contents everywhere. Louise chuckled and re-entered the bridal world once more.

Before she knew it, it was wedding time.

[ ch3]

[waxdroid]

dicky duckworth count your fucking days

[birdiebirdjay]

people will really see a post with good, healthy mental health suggestions and immediately fill the comments with negativity.

what the fuck.

this isn't a one time thing. the first comment of nearly every post i've seen related to doing actually healthy stuff is always like 'erm actually i do x instead of y and y has NEVER EVER helped me get ANYTHING done, EVER, so therefore it is BAD and does NOT work' (i'm exaggerating obviously but you get it).

like. just let people be happy and healthy? unless it is literal misinformation, just stop. you don't need to look at a well researched, well thought out, and logical post and go 'well actually i'm unable to do that so it clearly doesn't work for anyone'. holy jesus christ on a cracker.

for the record, i'm not ableist. i'm disabled myself. i understand that there is ableist 'get well by doing this' content out there and yeah, not everything works for everyone, but ffs, if you don't like it, just move on. you do not have to interact with and hate on every single person who has a differing opinion than you, or a different (healthy) coping mechanism, or a different get well method. just scroll past. it is not that hard.

(i rarely post negatively themed stuff like this, but i'm genuinely pissed right now. this isn't at anyone in particular, it's just me getting my feelings on the matter out.)

[good-wine-and-cheese]

Dang tumblr has randomly been ass on my computer the last few days. Which sucks because thats how I make my posts n shit

[impostorsshow]

Another rant about my "YHS Grian gets time travel-kidnapped to participate in an MCC" daydream/au, with a focus/reflection on how permadeath worlds would affect skills, except it's not a rant it's a 1.2k - 1.8k oneshot

When Grian finds out the future version of himself got signed up to...whatever this is, he has enough to be surprised at - they're on a series of floating islands, and use a portal to travel between islands that are larger apart, something Grian's only ever seen when he traveled between England and Japan.

He saw that when [Jimmy? Timmy? Did he have to check his hearing after all this time of using firearms?] was injured after being turned from a 27 year old into a teen, he got disqualified since he wouldn't be healed by the time this whole championship started, Grian decided to not share the bullet wound at his hip [Timmy was more than eager to tell him where one of the "admins" had stored some bandages once he figured out where the clinic was].

And then they got their first round of training, courtesy of Scott wanting to make the team's more balanced to skill level when the event was closer - it was a simple game in his opinion, fill in 9 blocks with your teams color and kill your opponents before they get you [Grian wished he could say that he wasnt used to death matches being considered training.] A kid named Tommy, about 11 years old was [incredibly reasonably] distressed about murdering other kids and was disqualified, so Grian was glad he learned to keep his mouth shut.

He wasn't the best by any means, but he was more than good enough to avoid dying, his team having 3 people that were on wool duty with him and a girl named False being the only ones confident in their fighting ability. False got injured, and Grain thought she died if not for the fact she reappeared without any injuries after the round was over. Grian didn't find the time to ask and False didn't catch any of his questioning expressions, but his teammates kept getting injured and were praising him on not getting hurt [how would he have gotten this far in the Yakuza otherwise?? How did you get cut across the abdomen with an iron sword and survive? Why is he the only one freaking out ?] So Grian played it off and accepted the compliments as best he could.

The last round they didn't get the wool capture, and the other team was out for blood. Grian saw False get shot in the head by an arrow and somehow survived a 3 v 1, shooting two of the players with a shot in his shoulder and watching the last player run to place the wool, ending the game with 1 loss for his team.

He felt dizzy for a moment and closed his eyes, opening them back up to see he was teleported back onto the main island, a leaderboard infront of him. Grian felt his shoulder, confused that the blood that had stained his blue uniform [he really needed to ask for a comfier change of clothes at some point] was gone and his shoulder was just fine, even if he felt the phantom pain of the arrow, quickly fading.

The leaderboard placed him in the upper middle of players, which was worse than he expected. Everyone around him was talking to each other excitedly though, so maybe MCC was only a place where seasoned professionals played and he wasn't as numbed to death as he thought. The Yakuza in his town weren't really high quality, nothing in that town was anyway.

"Hey." Grian jumped, startled at the voice and turned to his right to see False [he made eye contact with her forehead more than her eyes, not quite able to understand how she was alive. No one could survive that, he knew that much.]. Awkward silence made itself known for a few moments, False clearing her voice and snapping Grian back to reality. "Good job. You only got hit once."

"....Yeah."

"I'm saying that it's impressive. Where did you learn to do that?"

"Oh. Uh, death matches are common where I live, you kind of just..." Grian looked away from False entirely, glancing over at people in the crowd he could have sworn were dead and another count of blood on his hands. "Have to know how to survive that, or you learn the hard way."

Grian heard False mumble some agreement and walk away, narrowing his eyes at the leaderboard. He needed to figure out which adult was trustworthy enough to ask about this without getting a target in his back, as soon as possible.

In the end, he decided to ask Timmy. He was still in the clinic so surely some adult would have shared something with him, and he didn't rat out Grian for having a bullet wound ["What's a bullet?" "...a piece of metal that's used in a gun." "What's a gun?" "No wonder your in the infirmary"].

"Do you know anything about people dying and coming back?" Grian stated out of the blue, the first 5 minutes of his visit being pure silence on Grian's part to make sure an admin wouldnt come by to check up on Timmy's wounds anytime soon.

"What? Whaddya mean, Gri?"

"I mean that people keep dying and coming back. Injuries in games disappear randomly. I've seen at least like, 8 people die in the past week multiple times and all of them seem to be fine. No one's questioning it at all and-"

"waitwaitwaitwait-ow-" Timmy started waving his hands to motion for Grian to stop talking, flinching when it stretched his injury and stopped to hold his stomach where the injury was, but still eyed Grian as if he was insane. It made Grian immediately regret asking. "Are you seriously- do you not know about respawning?"

"No, unless you mean it in terms of the Gamecrab."

"I don't know what that is but -oh my god, I never thought I had to explain this ever -respawning is what happens whenever you die. Most of the time the only thing that happens is your inventory gets wiped, and you might feel like however you died for a bit or whatever injury you had last."

Grian deadpanned, getting his thoughts across very clear and making Timmy throw his hands up in exasperation. "I'm serious! How is it you've never heard of respawning, did you live on a hardcore world or something?"

"define hardcore."

"....oh my god you cannot be-" Timmy took a breath,pinching the bridge of his nose and muttering to himself for a few seconds before talking louder at Grian. "-Hardcore is used to define permadeath worlds with added difficulty to them. If you die your done forever, and even a shot to the arm can be bad enough to kill you."

"..oh,-"

"but I KNOW your not from a permadeath world because that was made illegal, right?" Grian heard a tone in Timmy's voice that sounded like Sam when he was about to snap, and decided to not ever bring this up again, responding immediately and eyeing the door.

"yup, I cant even imagine what that would be like -when was that made illegal, out of curiosity?"

"1337? seriously what-?" Grian was up from his chair and out the door before Jimmy could finish his sentence.

—————————

My version of YHS Grian is much less prone to questioning things than actual YHS Grain, and that's because this daydream is A. Made by someone who never finished YHS and B. Because it emphasizes to me the skills you would need to learn to survive living with a delusional serial killer and being in the Yakuza in general, much less a town with adults that aren't doing anything and at some points actively putting students in danger with zero consequences except for maybe getting murdered by the students.

Alot of fanfiction I see that follow the YHS -> Hermitcraft Grian timeline make him the god of combat/PVP and the most traumatized skrunkly in the world. I'm not going to deny that I may be doing the second trope can you blame me it's good content but humans learn from making mistakes, and knowing you'll survive combat gives you a hell of a lot more confidence to be more aggressive and taking risks that pay off later. I imagine children in Minecraft are just kind of thrown outside and taught how to deal with a creeper by blowing up and crying to their mom about how much it hurts to die until they stop dying or are old enough to learn to move past the pain of dying, which would have it's own psychological consequences but like. Psychological consequences of a world without death is for another post this is about how said world would compare against a world of mortality and the fear of death being less equivalent to a spider and more equivalent to the fear of being forgotten.

Anyway what im getting at here is that I think when YHS Grain is written he needs to stop being written as a PVP god, he needs to instead be written as the god of survival. It's not that he knows how to most effectively use a weapon or he can find weak points in an enemy quicker or any of that, what makes him Grian Dreamslayer is that he has the skill of dodging and misdirection, of near misses that give him just enough of an upper hand that it doesn't matter if he doesn't know how to use a sword because he thinks that if he gets hit in his stomach or chest he's not coming back, and he knows to aim for the chest of his opponent. He's absolute shit at hiding, but he knows when to identify that you've found him and when to run.

Can you tell I have a hyperfixation anyway if you read my last post I have become aware that cannibalism doesnt actually happen the way I thought it did so just like. Ignore that bit that's been vanished and if you didn't read my last post uh. I don't watch MCC and I don't watch Falsesymmetry so like feel free to critique my characterization or give me ideas this is fully self indulgent so any advice is only going to help me make up more silly things while I'm daydreaming and I might make another post about this [i have more than enough content to make like 3 similarly sized posts of this i just don't have any knowledge of who is in MCC and how they act ive literally had to search up "MCC competitors" every time i post about this]

[dhmis-autism]

i hope that.... all my fav fellow dhmis posters KNOW theyre my faves... u know.....

[ehlnofay]

wip wtuesday

tagged by @wispstalk :) tagging back @everybodyknows-everybodydies @jiubilant and @ervona

my current works in progress are all brainstorming and writing for summerfest, which will all be posted soonish anyway so I shan't post excerpts of any of that ahead of time. HOWEVER part of that is a slightly longer piece that I am making copious notes for whenever whim strikes. so this wip wtuesday is an insight into whatever the fuck my process is. very curious as to whether any of it makes any kind of external sense

[nervocat]

Why is it so hard to write in-depth things abt characters. Like come on let me get my thoughts out there

[icaruspartharmony]

Nobody tells you actually how funny it is to run into someone when they're waking up. Because my sleep schedule is more of a sleep plan, there's no set times but it's probably gonna happen. My brother was getting up for work and saw me and was like "??why are you awake?? Why aren't you asleep?"

[one-hundred-lights-to-goodnight]

मैं अपनी भाषा में आज-कल कुछ भी नहीं कह पाती हूँ। फोन पर हिंदी लिखनी आती नहीं, और हाथों से लि खना मैं अपने बचपन में कहीं छोड़ आई। जिन लेखकों को मैं स्कूल में पढ़ा करती थी, वे शुद्ध हिंदी लिखा करते थे। मैने उनके जैसा लिखना चाहा तो अपना सच न लिख पाई। कैसे कहूँ स्कूल, सेलफोन, वाई-फाई, जी-पी-ए, नेटवर्क, टैक्स, ट्रेन, शुद्ध हिंदी में? रेलगाड़ी बोलने में क्यों शरम आती है? मेरी हिंदी उन बुज़ुर्ग साहित्यकारों की हिंदी से बहुत अलग है। उनकी हिंदी मेरी कहानियाँ नहीं सुनाती है। मेरे भावों को नहीं समझ पाती है। कौन लिख रहा है पी-सी-ओ-एस के बारे में, जिसके न पी, न सी, न ओ, न एस की हिंदी मुझे आती है? कौन लिख रहा है क्रोनिक इलनेस, ऐंज़ाइटी, डिप्रेशन के बारे में? एल-जी-बी-टी-क्यू के बारे में? बिन अंग्रेज़ी के कैसे समझाऊँ? ज़िंदगी ईश्वर और प्रकृति और स्वतंत्रता संग्राम से बहुत आगे निकल चुकी है। चाहकर भी मैं अपनी भाषा का उस तरह प्रयोग नहीं कर सकती, जिस तरह अंग्रेज़ी का कर सकती हूँ। प्रयोग चुनूँ या इस्तेमाल? पढ़ने वाली हिंदी और बोलने वाली हिंदी बहुत अलग होतीं हैं। बोलने वाली लिख दी, तो गँवार हो गई। लिखने वाली बोल दी, तो इठलाने लगी। नहीं बनना चाहती हूँ अंग्रेज़। लेकिन अब हो जाना पड़ा है। झेलो।