#out of context these read so much sweeter than they are In context

[kakushusband]

I love how Falin and Marcille have the gay ass bath scene that we can all agree is Very Yuri but Laios on the other hand is on some other type of gay shit with a guy who wants him dead but also as a friend (homosexual) but also yeah definitely dead.

The Touden siblings and the ppl that are murder crazy in love(?) with them to some extent.

[compact-turtle]

Yandere Farmer x GN Reader pt 2

Concept: Yandere Farmer x Gn Reader

Tw: Delusional Yandere, Age-gap?, Obsessive, Possessive, Brief Nsfw mentions, Underwear stealing thief 😡

Summary: You and Atticus go on a date to town for supplies.

Word count: 1.7K -> Link to PT 1 (Not necessary to read but does help to understand context) Taglist: @velvetvibes @undeadwaters@lemonlimesocks@justloveme@ladywolf44005@azoart

-Yandere Farmer who’s convinced your group that a mechanic won’t be able to arrive for at least another week. The four of you are fine with it since it’s currently summer break. There’s no need to rush back immediately. 

-Yandere Farmer who puts everyone to work on the farm outside. Nobody gets to stay at his home for free (even though they technically paid.) The labor is tiring, demanding and grueling underneath the hot summer sun. It irritates him listening to the city folk complain about a few hours of work. Thankfully, a single look is enough for them to stop complaining. 

- You’re the exception. 

-Yandere Farmer who asks you to complete some house chores. You’re given a list of priorities which range from cooking to doing the laundry. He doesn’t scold you if you don’t complete the list. He can’t bear to see you unhappy. It’s difficult work sometimes trying to finish it all. He’d hate for you to tire yourself out. 

-Regardless of your cooking skills, Yandere Farmer enjoys the meals you make for him. It tastes different when you cook it. Almost sweeter somehow. 

-Last night, you’d asked him if he could take you into town. You wanted to make a special type of dinner but needed some more ingredients. 

-At first, Atticus wasn’t too keen on the idea. He despised going into town. They talked too much and word always spread like wildfire. However, he realized he could twist it into his favor. 

-This morning, he woke up earlier than usual. He made sure to bathe and attempted to wash all the grime off. From underneath his nails to his hair. He didn’t want you to be disgusted with him.

-He donned his prized blue button up with a pair of clean boots. Everything was perfect down to the last hair. You’d be so proud strolling through town with him now.  Atticus double checked his reflection in the mirror as he recalled yesterday’s memories. 

- He snuck into your room after he heard you go downstairs. The door was locked behind him as rummaged through your bag. Honestly, you were going to be his spouse soon so he had no qualms about snooping. 

-The bag was like a treasure box filled with goodies. Atticus wanted to take everything inside but you’d notice if so many items went missing. He settled on a pair of cute red underwear. His breath grew heavy as his hands traveled down. 

-Every scenario ran through Atticus’s mind with the red underwear in hand. You under him. You on top of him. You’d be moaning as he left kisses on your shoulders and neck. There’d be traces of his love on each inch of your body. 

-He jumped when he heard the door knob rattle. It twisted and turned. The intruder pounded on the door desperate for it to open. They tried a few more times. Finally, they gave up. 

-His heart still pounded loudly in his chest as he came down from the lust high. God, that was close. Atticus cleaned up the area and neatly put your items back in the bag. However, the red underwear slipped into his pocket.  

-Atticus examined himself one last time before leaving the room. His footsteps were loud and clomped all the way down the stairs. He noticed you standing near the front door waiting for him. 

- For the first time in his life, Atticus felt odd knots in his stomach. His heart was palpitating when he saw you looking all dolled him for him (At least, that’s what he’d like to believe.)

-You smiled at him. Gosh, you were so gorgeous. The morning sunrise couldn’t compare to you. You outmatched the prettiest flower in the field. 

“You look swell today.” Atticus grumbled out. He inwardly cursed himself for not sounding chipper. 

“You’re so sweet, Atticus! I think you look amazing as well. Your shirt really compliments you.” You beamed back at him.

“Hm.” 

-Yandere Farmer who walks right past you. His face was stoic but underneath it all was a range of emotions. His palms were sweaty and he could hear his heartbeat reverberate in his ears. 

-Yandere Farmer guided you to the red pickup truck outside. His two dogs, Otto and Earl excitedly ran around your legs when they noticed you. They sniffed you trying to find signs of treats. The two dogs were so large that they almost knocked you over.

- Atticus wrapped his arm around you to support your balance. Atticus had always warned you about feeding the dogs treats. Obviously, you hadn’t listened to him. 

“Stop bothering them. Get back to work.” Atticus barked at the dogs. 

“Be nice, Atticus. They’re just cute little puppies who deserve a snack!” 

You grabbed some treats from your pockets to feed the dogs. They yipped happily and munched down on them. Atticus held his tongue as he stared at the supposed puppies. You clearly had a soft spot for those demons. Unfortunately, You had no idea that they were taking advantage of your generosity.

-Finally, the dogs left to finish their duties. Atticus opened the door for you as you slid into the passenger seat. The door creaked as he shut it close. He walked to the driver's side then started the car.  

-You stuck your head out the window as you waved to everyone. You called out for them to be on their best behavior and that you’d be back soon. 

-Your friends tearfully waved goodbye as the car drove off. They were so thankful that you begged the farmer to take you into town. He’d finally given them a day off to relax.  The farmer terrified them to no end. You were the only one who didn’t notice his domineering behavior. In fact, you insisted that he was so gentle and kind. 

“Gentle and kind, my ass” They all thought whenever you gushed about him.

—

-He pulled you towards the farmer’s market near the town square.  Atticus watched as you marveled over the town. It was a quaint place to say the least. Rows of shops lined up against one another with a bright white church standing out in the middle of town. Children’s laughter could be heard along with scolding mothers. The smell of freshly baked bread wafted through the air. 

-You excitedly went off to explore the vendors. Atticus trailed behind making sure to keep an eye on you. There were so many people and he didn’t want you getting lost. 

-He chuckled slightly as you bought items from one booth to another. You seemed like a small squirrel gathering food for the winter. Atticus took the items from your arms and placed them into his bag. 

-His attention was pulled away by a short old woman. Her hair was visibly graying with wrinkles starting to settle in. She grinned as they made eye contact. 

“Hey there, son. Thought you’d fallen in a ditch somewhere since I hadn’t seen your face in a while.” The old woman called out. 

“Apologies for not showing up more, Ma’am.” 

“Just glad to see you doing well. Also, seems like quite the looker you got. Anything serious or just for fun?” 

“Plan on marrying em’ soon.” 

“Well bless your heart. I was afraid you’d be lonely forever. You know, I’ve been praying for the good lord to send you someone. Thankfully my prayers were heard. When’s the wedding?”

“Thinkin’ a few months. Year at the latest.” 

-Atticus continued to converse with them. They grinded on every detail about his love life. He answered as honestly as possible.Maybe over-exaggerating a bit here and  there though. Mentioning how you met due to your friend’s car breaking down and how he heroically saved you a few months ago.

-He clenched his jaw as the vendor raddled on. The vendor was a gentle old woman but her ramblings gave Atticus multiple headaches. It was difficult not to just shut down and ignore them. However, he was aiming for the long game. Patience was a virtue.

“Atticus, I think it’s starting to rain soon. I felt some droplets on my arm. We should go home now.” You said as you came behind him. 

“Well-”

“Dear, you should stay a night in town then. I heard it’s about to be raining dogs and cats out there. Go down to the inn by South St and tell them Donna sent you. They’ll give you a small discount.”  The woman interjected. 

“I’m not sure. What do you think, Atticus?” You asked, staring at him.

“Of course, he agrees. Plus, might give you two some alone time.” The old woman shot Atticus a wink. 

—

-Atticus wasn’t sure what kind of psychic powers that old woman had. When they arrived at the inn, they were informed there was only a single queen size room left. You tried asking for different options but the staff said, there was nothing they could do. 

-You two were currently laying in bed next to each other. (With a pillow divider much to his dismay) 

-Originally, you wanted to sleep on the ground but he refused that. You deserve the best. Plus, what if your neck was stiff tomorrow or your back hurt? He couldn’t let that happen. 

-It took a while for you to relent. Atticus endlessly coaxed and reassured you that it was fine to share the bed. However, you only agreed with the pillow divider as a compromise.

-Atticus could smell the body wash you used. The scent was sweet with a mix of coffee laced underneath. It took all his will power to not press his lips against yours. The image of your face all red with your moans in his ears. Yesterday’s fantasy began to play in his head and he could feel something rise. 

“I had so much fun today, Atticus. I appreciate you taking me out.” You said from your half of the bed. Your voice breaking him out of his trance.

“My pleasure.” 

“I’m so excited to make dinner tomorrow for us. I’ll work really hard for it to taste good.”

“Can’t wait to try yer cookin’. ”

“And Otto and Earl will be so happy for more treats.” 

“I’m sure they will.” 

“And my friends will be so happy to see us safe tomorrow.” You mumbled as you drifted off. 

-His mood soured immediately. There were still pests at home to exterminate. Atticus wasn’t above shoving a knife in their chest or feeding them to his pigs. Still, those methods were extremely messy. The chances of you finding your so-called “friends” were pretty high. He didn’t want to start his marriage off on a bad foot. 

-You grumbled in your sleep. He chuckled then gently traced your face with his hand. 

-Whatever

-He’d enjoy the moment with you now. Those vermin could wait to be dealt with. 

-Atticus leaned down and kissed your forehead. 

“Goodnight, Doll.” 

[partially-controlled-chaos]

Indulgence: Something Sweeter

Pairing: Halsin x GN!Reader Rating: E (Explicit) 18+, MDNI/NSFW Warnings: Kind of porn without plot, but most of the plot is in the previous section of this. Fingering, oral (m receiving and GN receiving), finger licking/sucking, nipple play, penetrative sex in orifice of your choosing, biting, predator play if you squint really hard. Summary: Halsin has always struggled with indulging in the more pleasurable aspects of life. However, with the shadow curse lifted and your group now on the road to Baldur's Gate, you and Halsin find time to indulge in a bit of fun and a sweet treat before retiring for the evening. Word Count: 12.8K (7.5k of which is smut about 1/3 of the way down) a/n: As usual, this took me significantly longer and ended up much wordier than I had originally anticipated, but that seems to be my thing. I tried my best to keep this as gender neutral as possible and I think I did well with it, but keep in mind that I just self insert my Tav when writing so if there are mentions of a gendered reader, I'm very sorry. Anyway, this is a follow up to another fic I posted a little while ago, but you don't have to read that in order to read this one. This one is main all about the smut, but if you'd like to know the context behind some things as well as the tension build up, you can find the first part linked below! I've written smut before and I've posted a few snippets here and there, but I've never posted an entire fic for it so I'm about to post this and dip out for the night. Thank you so much to everyone that has left love on the first part of this!

Read on AO3 here if you prefer! Part 1 of this fic can be found here. Masterlist

The area surrounding the town Rivington was uncomfortably hot and incessantly muggy, days of rain left the air humid even after the sun had long set below the horizon. Given the heat of the day and the exhaustion that had come with it, you and your party had decided to camp early for the evening, ready to get a good nights rest before arriving in Rivington and ultimately into Baldur’s Gate. The last remaining rays of sunshine had turned a vibrant orange with streaks of gold, giving you barely enough light to see what you were doing without causing injury to yourself.

Sweat lazily rolled down the back of your neck, tickling the hair at the nape as you focused on steading your hand. The sharpened blade of your knife gently sliced through the soft, malleable wax of the honeycomb you were carefully trying to harvest from the beehive hovering above you. You turned your blade slowly as you cut, gently nudging the occasional honeybee out of the way with the tip of your finger as to avoid harming them. You were precariously balanced on the stump of a dead tree that you’d pulled to the hive and wedged between the roots of the tall oak that you stood before. 

You managed to slice a decent sized chunk of honeycomb from the tree, holding it carefully between your fingers to keep from crushing it as you bent your knees into a squat. You dropped the fresh honeycomb into a glass jar that that sat nestled between your mud covered boots, your fingers clutching the bark with your nails to keep yourself steady. As you stood back up to collect more of the honeycomb, you could hear the ever growing buzz of the bees you were dangerously close to upsetting. You stuck your knife back into the wax, beginning to slice again as you heard a slow stride of footsteps approach.

“And how many stings have you collected this evening, my friend?” The deep rumble of Halsin’s voice carried through the silence of the forest. He referenced your run in with a hive of angry bees from a few nights prior, having been stung multiple times in an attempt to get a jar of honey after a strong craving for something sweet. By the end of the night, you wound up sitting cross legged in Halsin’s tent as he meticulously pulled bee stingers from numerous welts across any bit of exposed skin.

“Your humor escapes me sometimes, did you know that?” You asked as you peered over your shoulder, offering a playful smile  to Halsin as he joined you, standing by your side as you attempted to balance yourself on your tree stump. Your balance was unfortunately short lived as a bee zipped by your head, making you duck as a reflex. Given that you weren’t the most graceful person to walk amongst your group, you quickly lost your footing and starting the quick fall backwards.

Thankfully, like he had done at the pond a few nights prior, Halsin managed to catch you before you left the top of your stump. However, instead of taking him down with you, Halsin’s stance was firm and was able to support your weight. His hands quickly grabbed the back of your thighs, which were at chest level for him because of the height given to you by your makeshift stool, and held you firmly. With a light shove, he pushed you back into your stool and held you until you had regained your footing.

“Just as caution escapes you.” He said as he continued to brace his large hands against the back of your thighs, holding them firmly in his grasp. Your heart fluttered as you felt him pressing against you, clearing your throat before returning your knife to the honeycomb. You sliced another chunk from the hive, dropping the sweet treat into the open jar as Halsin offered it to you, having taken it from between your feet. Satisfied with the fullness of the jar, you cleaned your knife on the rim before sheathing it back against your hip.

“I’ll have you know that you’re the only reason I’m here.” You said as you hopped down from your tree stump, sticking your fingers in your mouth to clean them of any remaining honey.

“If my memory serves me,” he said as he wiped the rim of the jar with his finger, “I don’t believe we declared a winner for that little game of ours. Instead, you toppled into the lake and took me with you.” You chuckled at the thought, remembering night fondly. You had promised each other a jar of fresh honey for whoever could skip a stone the farthest across a lake at your previous camp, but the night had ended with you both in the lake and aching for a kiss. You had longed for more with Halsin even before that fateful night, but since then it had been a burning desire that gnawed at your heart. 

“We didn’t, but we both know I certainly win that little game. And I’m afraid we’re running out of time for another chance.” Your eyes remained on his finger, watching as it circled the rim of the jar and cleaned it of any honey that had dribbled down the side.

“I’m afraid it does.” Halsin said softly, a hint of sadness flickering in his voice, suggesting he shared your sentiment. You both stood there quietly, unsure of what to say next or where to take the remainder of the evening. 

The shine of the leftover honey on Halsin’s forefinger caught your eye, tempting you to take a taste of it for yourself. You eyed the thick droplet of honey that threatened to drip onto the forest floor below, gently biting your lip as you tried to fight back the urge that had suddenly come over you. Unlike Halsin, you always had much less self control over your actions and frequently dove into impulsive thoughts with reckless abandon. With that in mind, you took Halsin’s hand in your own, eyeing the thick, amber colored syrup on his finger for a moment before sticking the entirety of his forefinger into your watering mouth.

They honey was sweet and thick against your tongue, a delightful treat that briefly alleviated the stress of day. Given just how sticky and fresh the honey was, you were unable to quickly clean Halsin’s finger of the substance. Your tongue wrapped around the tip of his finger, swirling the digit briefly before pressing the extremity to the roof of your mouth and suckling gently. Your eyes flicked upwards to meet Halsin’s, holding his stare as you diligently licked and sucked the honey from his finger teasingly slow. 

Halsin’s heart beat rapidly against his chest, pounding against the inside of his ribcage as he watched and felt every second of your tongue dancing across his skin. Your tongue was soft and wet, caressing every bit of skin you came across with a delicate touch. However, there was a bit of roughness from time to time, the feeling of your tastebuds prickled against him as you continued to lick. With your tongue pressing his finger to the roof of your mouth, you had created a deliciously tight suction around his finger, making it throb in tune with his steadily pounding heart. The suction was strong enough that even if he wanted to, Halsin would have had difficulty removing his finger from your mouth.

Halsin felt the all too familiar of tension of arousal forming in his shoulders and neck as his skin began to grow warm. The promise that you had made to each other for a secluded night away to indulge in each other had yet to come to fruition, something always interrupting the peaceful camp nights to prevent you from sneaking away, and you both were growing restless. You and Halsin had almost made it a game of seeing how worked up you could get the other, all with the hope of the following night to finally be the night where you could drop all responsibilities for a few hours and simply lose each other in kisses and caresses. 

Halsin was much better at the spoken teasings. His words were able to quickly make your heart flutter and your cheeks flush, leaving you longing for more of his praises and composed flirtations. You, on the other hand, were much more efficient at teasingly soft physical contact; a sweeping brush of your shoulder against his bare arm as you walked your path towards Baldur’s Gate, your thigh just barely touching his own while sitting around the campfire, and even a lingering touch when you happened to brush hands with each other. This, on the other hand, was the most forward you’d been since you had both skipped stones together a few nights prior. You were growing impatient with waiting; you wanted him as much as he wanted you.

After you were certain his finger had been thoroughly cleaned of any remaining bits of honey, you slowly pulled your mouth from him, making sure that when he finally passed through the tight ring of your lips there was a resounding pop. You looked over your work, making sure you were satisfied with the cleanliness you’d offered before letting his hand drop back to his side. He cocked his head at you with a look of disbelief, surprised at your boldness only a few meters from your campmates.

“What?” You asked playfully, “It would be a shame to let it go to waste.” You offered a coy smile to Halsin before turning on your heels, promptly making your way back to camp to join your other companions for the march ahead in the morning, leaving the druid standing under the heavy cloak of the oak tree with a blush on his cheeks and a sudden tightness in his trousers, the jar of honey still in his hand. 

Halsin was sure that if he didn’t act now, a chance of having a night alone with you under the stars would never happen. Tomorrow, you and your team would arrive at Baldur’s Gate, the end of your journey together rapidly approaching each day that passed, and very soon he was certain you would part ways. You had both been waiting for the ideal moment when the camp was asleep and you could slip away together quietly, but the opportunity had yet to present itself. Between attacks from lingering cultists and interruptions from whatever creature lurked in the artifact you carried, a peaceful evening where you could indulge in the other was nearly impossible to come by. Halsin wanted a night with you, desperately, and he was sure you did as well, but if that were to happen it needed to happen now.

You felt Halsin’s hands secure themselves around your waist with a grip that wasn’t firm enough to actually hurt, but enough to maneuver you around as he wished. He pressed your back along the rough bark of the tree, far enough away from the still calm beehive that you could no longer hear the faint buzzing of the residents inside. Your foot knocked against the jar of honey he had dropped when he reached for you, leaving it to the ground for now as you came face to face with the druid. Halsin’s pupils had dilated when you looked up to him, noting that the pulse point in his neck was thumping rapidly.

“You have been teasing me with that touch of yours for days now.” Halsin’s voice was low against your ear, a slight waver to his voice as hot breath that came out in quick pants tickled the hair on your neck. He loomed over you, his forearms braced against the tree as his mouth hung teasingly close to yours. You could see his chest heave with each breath, pressing against the fabric of his camp clothes with each carefully controlled inhale. Despite his usually calm demeanor, you could see the self control beginning to crack and the long suppressed warmth of excitement begin to peek through. 

“And yet,” you whispered, “you’ve done nothing about it.” Halsin cocked his head slightly to one side, a playful smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. Although you weren’t completely incorrect with your statement, he took no offense. You were both aware of the lack of opportune moments that the road to Baldur’s Gate offered since your night together in the woods, so if anything, he took your words as an invitation to finally act on long suppressed impulses.

“Then I believe it’s high time I change that, hmm?” Halsin asked softly, your own heart beginning to increase in speed as the reality of the moment set in. Halsin’s eyes closed as he readied himself to steal the kiss from you that he’d been fantasizing about for weeks now, but you hadn’t quite finished in your teasing of the druid just yet. Before his lips could brush yours, you ducked under his arm, rolling against your shoulder until you pushed off the tree and out from under his frame before flitting around to the opposite side.

Halsin’s head lifted, a quizzical look crossing his face as his gaze followed the path you had taken around the tree, craning his neck to catch a glimpse of you. He kept this hand along the bark of the tree, dragging it along as he walked around, surprised to see that you had seemingly disappeared. Although you were not as sneaky as some of your other campmates, you were light on your feet compared to Halsin, giving you an advantage in the game you had started. 

With his attention still focused on finding you at some point along the tree, you had managed to quietly slip around the whole of the oak, quietly stepping behind the druid. You ran the tips of your fingers lightly against the top of his hand, noting how the hair on his arm prickled at your touch. Halsin swung his body in the direction you had come from, his heart rate picking up when he realized you were teasing him even more. He was met with another empty space, finding that you had vanished yet again. Taking a few steps forward, Halsin creeped along the tree the best he could, hoping to find out on the other side.

A tingle ran up his spine when he felt your nails lightly scratch over his lower back through his tunic, a low growl coming from his lips as he quickly reached one of his large arms behind him in an attempt to grab your arm before you could scurry away again. However, you had evaded him once more, leaving him to begin his hunt around the tree yet again. Halsin’s ears perked and his gaze flicked to a nearby tree at the sound of a soft whistle, smirking to himself when his gaze finally landed on you. You had managed to dart to a tree further in the woods, lazily leaning against the trunk as you waited for him to follow. 

Halsin’s fingers lingered on the tree as he stepped away, slowly approaching you in your new spot. Your eyes fell to his hips, entranced with the way they swung with his distinctive gait. His manner of walking was always something that grabbed your attention, having learned early on that there were a few traits from the bear that bled into Halsin’s day-to-day life and his walking pace was certainly one of them. As he stepped closer to you, your eyes traveled up from his waist and met his eyes, which were filled with an equal mixture of lust and excitement. When he finally made his way, Halsin reached for you with a hand that trembled ever so lightly with excitement.

Before his hand could make contact with you, you had taken a step back and disappeared behind a tree once again, clearly set on continuing your little game. You both quickly fell into a rhythm of teasing touches and quick darts to the next tree. As much as you enjoyed simply teasing the usually calm man reaching out for you, you had other reasons. You wanted to get far enough away from camp so you could indulge in a bit of privacy if things processed the way you expected, not wanting to be disturbed by a feathered companion or someone coming to investigate any peculiar noises emanating from a bit of shrubbery.  

You twirled and weaved your way deeper into the forest, the sounds clanking pots and laughter filled conversations from camp were slowly dying down, gradually replaced with the soft, lulling sounds of a warm night. The approaching silence made it much harder for you to scamper away undetected, allowing for a few close calls of being caught in the large hands of the druid steadily pursuing you. Admittedly, this only added to the excitement of the evening. Something about narrowly escaping from a man who spent a large portion of his time as a predator stirred something in your abdomen, leaving you with a light tingle at the thought.

Your game continued for quite some time with you leading Halsin further and further into the forest. By the time you had reached a large willow tree seated by the edge of another pond, you were satisfied with your distance from camp. You pressed your back along the trunk of the tree, allowing yourself a quick moment of rest while you listened for the footsteps that had been following you. However, you were only met with silence. You heard or saw nothing from Halsin, realizing now that you were no longer in control of your little game.

With your back to the water you peered around the trunk of the willow, curiously looking for any signs for the elf that had previously been hot on your trail. You found no signs of Halsin, beginning to think you had potentially left him behind a few trees back. The forest was peacefully quiet, save for the choir of crickets chirping in the distant grass and the occasional croak of frogs somewhere closer to the water. You stepped slowly and quietly around the edge of the tree, your breath leaving your mouth with silent exhales so you could keep yourself hidden in the darkness that now surrounded the area, the sun having set quite some time ago. The forest was seemingly empty as you circled the tree in its entirety, still stepping lightly as you began to leave the willow so you could circle back along the path you’d come from.

A firm set of hand suddenly gripped you firmly by your waist, much rougher than before, pulling you back suddenly and pressing you against the willow with enough force to cause a soft grunt to escape your lips. Halsin’s body was now pressed against yours, holding you securely to the tree. He quickly pressed his knee between your legs, rubbing against your inner thighs and effectively keeping you in place. You gasped lightly at the contact, the feeling of his body against yours after so many nights of teasing and yearning had set your limbs ablaze. And, given the feeling of something warm and quite firm pressing into your leg, you could only assume he felt the same. 

“You should change up your pattern next time, my friend,” he said softly, “it’s easy to learn.” His hand came to rest at the base of your throat, his thumb gently caressing the top of your collar bone as the rest of his fingers grazed the back of your neck.

“Clever bear.” You said with a slight chuckle, your voice tapering to just barely a whisper. Your own hands came to rest lightly against his biceps. 

When Halsin’s lips finally met yours, he let out a soft moan as his eyes closed, losing himself in your embrace. Your lips were soft against his, gentle and caring and everything he had dreamed about. Halsin had longed for your touch and ached to feel your lips against his, often thinking about their taste and feel while alone in his tent. He could feel a raging heat rise along his neck and into his face, even reaching to his ears after a moment. His hand left the softness of your neck, instead replacing it with the roughness of the bark behind you. His nails dug into the tree, trying to find something to distract him from the call of the beast that was beckoning him close to the edge of losing composure.

“You’ve been eating honey, haven’t you?” You asked between kisses, picking up on the faintest taste of honey as your tongue darted across his lips, “I can still taste it on your lips.” 

“I have, but I've made sure to save some for another night. I want to know what it tastes like on your tongue and on your skin.” Halsin rasped, “But tonight, I want to taste something sweeter.” You shuttered at his response, tightening your grip on his arms firmly as you felt his tongue swirl against yours, taking your breath from you with each passing second.

With his hands placed securely along your hips once more, the druid pulled you away from the tree he’d pressed you against, lips still heavy on yours as he led you to a pretty patch of grass by the waterside. You followed him blindly, trusting in him completely as your fingers began tugging at the ties on the front of his camp clothes. Halsin smiled against your lips, thoroughly pleased by your enthusiasm as he followed suit and slid his hands underneath your own shirt. His hands caressing and stroking your bare skin under your shirt caused you to shiver and a tingle to settle in your cheeks. Halsin’s touch was slow and gentle, allowing him to truly take the time to appreciate the feel of your supple skin against his hands.

Halsin pulled your tunic over your head, tossing it to the side before returning his hands to your body, focusing his attention on working pulling open the ties to your trousers. Despite the looming size of his hands, his fingers were fast and nimble as they loosened your laces just enough to allow your trousers to easily slide down your legs along with the remnants of your small clothes. Your boots were kicked off somewhere between Halsin pulling your trouser ties open and the same trousers colliding with the ground, although in the heat of the moment you couldn’t recall exactly when. 

You, however, were not as skilled in freeing the druid from the confines of his camp clothes, unsure of what tie opened which flap and just where the seam of his trousers started. Halsin chuckled softly, finding the confidence you had carried all evening quickly leaving as you struggled with his clothing. Being merciful, and a bit impatient, Halsin stripped himself of his garments, tossing them along with yours off to the side, his sandals having long been flung in different directions. 

Halsin took a step back from you, both hands still holding yours as he simply observed your naked form standing before him. You were breathtaking and beautiful, more than he could have possibly imagined in those long, lonely nights in his tent, and imagine he did. A warmth spread to you chest as he drank in your body, suddenly feeling shy by being bared in full to him. You took the time to observe him as well, more than impressed with the man that stood before you. Simply given the size of his arms, you knew he was muscular and well built, but it was different when actually seeing him in person.

With a gentle tug you were pulled towards him, your chest pressing against his as Halsin kissed you again. He groaned softly into your mouth, his eyes sliding closed as his hands roamed along your back and sides, lightly squeezing as he felt you beneath his fingertips. Your own hands traveled along his chest and arms, feeling the definition of muscles from years of fighting and roaming, but you could help but noticed just how warm his skin was. He always ran on the warmer side from what you could tell, but now he was almost hot to the touch.

He pushed away from you suddenly, arching forwards as an all too familiar heat rose in his chest. You took a step back, unsure of what was going through his mind as you watched Halsin grit his teeth, a light snarl and plea to Silvanus for guidance. It didn’t take long for you to figure out what was happening as you watched him fall to all fours, erupting in a familiar flash of golden light. The hulking frame of the elf was soon replaced with one of a cave bear, panting with heated breath and emitting rumbling growls. You knelt to the ground, knees touching the tender grass as your eyes remained fixed on the bear before you, your hand reaching out slowly to try to make contact. Your hand brushed against his wet nose, which was still blowing out warm breath with each pant. 

“It’s all right,” you said softly, “you’re all right.” Your hand slowly moved to the snout of the bear, your fingers running through the coarse fur in an attempt to calm him down. It took some time, but soon enough the frantic breathing of the cave bear finally calmed and settled into a steady rhythm. Before long, the bear erupted into another flash of light, leaving Halsin before you once again.

“I-I’m sorry,” Halsin stammered, “the beast is difficult to control at times, especially if blood runs hot. I lose myself and it takes over. Forgive me, please, the urges are just too strong at times” Halsin remained low to the ground, leaning on one knee with his back still hunched. His palms were facing you and his hands had the slightest of trembles. His mind raced as he knelt before you, emotions swirling and settling in his chest, cursing himself for allowing all control to be lost in such an important moment. 

“Halsin,” you said softly as you reached out again and placed a hand over his chest, “don’t ever apologize for that. It’s not a beast and neither are you.” His chest was unbelievably warm, but had cooled slightly, and his heart beat frantically against his chest. It was more than just arousal that caused the reaction in his body; it was fear. You glanced to his face and saw nothing but a mixture of panic and regret. Your heart ached at the sight, having never seen the strong man reduced to genuine fear in front of you.

“It’s in your nature. You of all people should know that.” You moved your hand from his chest and rested along his cheek, cupping it softly in your hand, “Don’t ever feel ashamed and don’t hold yourself back on my account.” His hands once again made purchase on your hips and pulled you closer to him, much lighter than before, as if he was afraid that touching you would change your mind.

“And, if I’m being honest,” you continued, “I quite like the bear.” You saw his eyebrows knit together slightly, head cocking to the side before he spoke again.

“The bear?” He said with a bit of hesitation, “You…like it?” You smiled with a slight chuckle. The back of your fingers softly caressed his cheek, feeling the roughness of his skin against yours as you tried to soothe any worry that lingered in his mind.

“I do,” you said softly, “but I’ll indulge the bear another night. Tonight, let me indulge in you.”

Halsin’s lips were on you before you could barely get your words out, hungry and firm against your own. His hands cupped your face, pulling you as close as possible to him as he took your breath away. With his lips to yours and your words still echoing in his ears, Halsin relaxed, feeling safe to be himself around you. You accepted him the way he was, even with a seeming lack of control at times, and it was almost euphoric. The weight of shame and guilt having been lifted with your words and soft touch. It wasn’t long before one of his hands cradled the back of your head and the accompanying arm ran down the length of you back. He used this position to gently lower you onto the grass below, quickly topping you with his own frame.

The grass was soft against your bare skin, the blades tickling your back as you felt Halsin settle above you. The druid’s hips settled between your parted legs as the length of his body rested just above your own, lightly grazing when either of you moved. Your hands ran along the expanse of his bare chest and shoulders as his lips met yours, his large arms resting by your head. You felt Halsin’s fingers weave their way through your hair, softly scratching at your scalp as he took his time exploring your lips. It wasn’t long before he deepened the kiss, moaning against your lips as his tongue asked for them to part. You happily obliged, letting his tongue easily slip into your mouth and explore to his hearts content. One of his hands left the tangle of your hair, settling along your cheek and jaw. Halsin’s thumb tugged at your lower lip, keeping your lips parted ever so slightly for better access. 

After some time, Halsin’s lips left your own and slowly moved towards your jaw, giving you the chance to catch your breath as he focused his tongue on other areas of your body. There was no rush or sense of urgency in his movements as Halsin kissed his way down the column of your throat, simply enjoying and relishing the moment he’d been waiting to share with you for so long now. Your skin was warm from the night air and the blush that had started to grace your skin, radiating against Halsin’s cheeks as he pressed soft kisses against you. He suckled gently against the tender skin of your pulse point, feeling the steady pounding of your heart beneath his lips until a light bruise had formed before moving to your collar bones.

You heard a gentle growl come from Halsin as he kissed your sternum and felt the soft placement of tongue tickling your skin before his lips followed suit. His movements were slow and gentle as he made his way lower, fully content with savoring every moment of you underneath him. He loved the subtle reactions your body gave when he kissed and licked a new spot, taking note of what you favored. The way your heartbeat quickened as his hands traveled lower along your body, how your fingernails would brush against his shoulders and lightly scratch as his own teeth would graze your skin, and the quiet sighs that would escape your parted lips when he found a particularly sensitive bit of skin; all of it a symphony to the druid that was slowly losing himself in you.  

A shaky moan broke the quiet serenity of the forest when you felt Halsin latch on to your nipple, taking the hardened bud between his teeth and giving the lightest of bites before soothing it with another kiss. Your back arched off the softened patch of grass and lightly into the air as your head rolled to the side, more gasps and sighs spilling from your lips the more Halsin serviced your nipple. You felt his hand slowly slide from your ribcage to the arch of your back, pressing you closer to his own frame all while caressing your sweat slicked skin. It wasn’t long before he switched sides, your body tingling at the ministrations of his teeth and tongue against your sensitive skin. Your eyes closed as your hands explored what you could reach of his upper body, eventually coming to rest along the top of his head.

Your fingers brushed along the tips of his ears as you explored his body, which earned you a sharp bite to your now swollen nipple and a tightening grip along your waist. Your eyes reopened and looked down the expanse of your body, admiring the glistening of kiss marks in the moonlight against your skin. Halsin’s eyes were focused on your features, meeting your eyes with a lustfully clouded gaze. You bit your lip with a devious smile, realizing just how much the faintest touch against his ears had excited him. With a slightly firmer touch, you ran your fingers along his ears once again, letting your nails graze ever so slightly. Halsin responded to the touch with a low moan and giving an involuntary thrust against the ground.

The druid continued his descent downwards at a slightly faster pace, having been spurred on by the teasing to the tips of his ears. He continued to hold your gaze as he kissed down your body, feeling the rise and fall of your stomach as you inhaled deeply and released with each shaky breath. His hands grasped your hips, softly squeezing and caressing the soft flesh there as his mouth finally reached that lovely spot that rested at the apex of your thighs. Halsin planted gentle, loving kisses to the sensitive skin surrounding your entrance, teasing you ever so slightly as he took his time in exploring your most secret of places. 

Your thighs instinctively wanted to close and press themselves against Halsin’s head as he teased and tasted you, wanting to keep him there as long as possible. Your hips rolled under his touch and your back arched further, desperate for his contact on your most sensitive spot. You felt him chuckle against your skin, causing a deliciously sensational warmth to begin to pool in your lower abdomen. His hands traveled from your hips to your outer thighs, caressing and grazing with his fingertips as his lips found the velvety soft skin of your inner thighs. After a few more kisses and even a light bite to the soft skin, Halsin’s hands gently pried your lightly trembling thighs from the sides of his skull, pulling them wide until they were kissed by the grass beneath your body. He kept them open by resting his heavy arms on your thighs, giving his hands the opportunity to focus on more important matters. Halsin teased your entrance with a finger and tongue, lingering for just a moment before finally granting you the satisfaction of slipping inside.

“Halsin…” His name slipped from your lips as nothing more than a whisper as you felt him taste you, the bulk of your breath having been taken away when he first teased your entrance. Your hands desperately searched for any part of your lover to cling to, but given just how high the arch had gotten in your back, you were struggling to make purchase. You settled for winding your fingers in the grass beside you, pulling and tugging at the tender blades until they ripped and you needed to find more. 

Halsin glanced up to you, his mouth and tongue still working their magic on your body as he added a second finger, curling at just the right spot to make your body quiver in bliss. He smiled as best he could at your expression, considering that his lips were occupied. Although pride was not something the druid typically felt, it coursed through him as he watched your mouth open and close with soft gasps and the way your eyes knitted together tightly in time with each exhale. Watching you, the normally well put together leader of the group of misfits he’d so eagerly joined, melt into a puddle of whimpers and moans by his touch was enough to make his already painfully hardened cock throb and weep at your image.

Your back rose and fell with each roll of your hips against his teasing, surging with pleasure with each swipe of his tongue as you flitted closer and closer to the blissful edge of release. You felt teeth, tongue, lips, and fingers; anything and everything Halsin could use at his disposal to bring you to your first release of the evening. He held his hand along your abdomen, slowly sliding up towards your chest so he could feel as much you beneath him as possible. Halsin wanted to feel you writhe and squirm under his touch and wanted nothing more than to feel the shakes and convulsions your body would offer when you finally reached your orgasm. You quickly released your grip on the grass you’d ripped out by the root, replacing the handful of foliage with Halsin’s own hand. Fingers were soon intertwined and you held to him tightly, your knuckles turning white as the contact grounded you and allowed you to focus on the tightening coil deep in your belly. Each exhale turned into a breathy moan that only increased in volume as Halsin intensified his efforts, determined to swiftly bring you the release you desperately wanted with a flick of his tongue. 

Your legs began to tremble under Halsin’s arms as he brought you closer to the edge, heat surging in your abdomen as your muscles along your thighs began to tighten. A sudden rush of warmth and indescribable satisfaction washed over your quaking body, jolts of pleasure fired through your muscles as you finally broke the barrier. The sensation made your mind cloud as you rode our your orgasm, still feeling Halsin’s tongue and lips tending to your sex. Your eyes closed as the final waves washed over your body, your breath coming in deep inhales as the feeling subsided much too quickly for your liking. The feeling was euphoric, but you wanted more.

Halsin kissed up along your body quickly, leaving your tingling lower half to bring his face to meet yours once again. Your mind still reeled from your orgasm as you felt his lips against your heaving body. Halsin kissed you gently on your cheek, brushing stray strands of hair from your face as you continued to come down from your peak. You wrapped your arms around his shoulders, pulling him closer to you as you tried to regulate your breathing once again. His skin was warm under your touch, the lightest layer of sweat forming along his back from the heat of the night air. Halsin kissed along your jaw until he pressed his lips against yours once again, tender and soft when compared to frantic movements just moments ago. 

“More?” He asked after breaking from your lips, taking the time to wipe a bead of sweat from your brow as your eyes finally opened for him.

“More.” You said with a nod between pants, your body still trying to regain some sense of composure from the feeling you just experienced. Halsin’s mouth returned to your skin at your words, licking and sucking along your neck as he waited for you to settle once more. Your skin was pleasantly warm, a combination of the heat of the night and your exertion having caused the change in your body temperature. He adored the blush that had settled on the apples of your cheeks and poured onto your neck and along your chest, the sense of pride returning to him as he admired the state of your body all due to his touch. Halsin could still taste you on his lips as it mingled with the sweat from your neck, finding the taste to be almost intoxicating.

Halsin was still lazily planting wet kisses along your body, tasting as much of you as he could as he moved to your chest. When you felt strong enough to move again, your hands and fingers ran along his neck and shoulders, feeling the definition of the muscles that lay just beneath your fingers. Years of roaming nature had toughened his skin thanks to the touch of the sun, but in your exploration you had found a few spots still supple. You traced behind his ears and along the back of his neck, feeling his skin prickle and twitch under your touch and you found yourself wanting to feel more. Given that he was distracted, you took the opportunity to have the upper hand. You playfully shoved Halsin’s shoulder from you until you had the druid pressed onto his back in the grass with a surprised grunt, throwing your leg over his hips until you had him straddled. 

“I believe you’re stronger than you let on, my friend.” Halsin said with a sly grin, impressed at the swiftness of your movements given your previous orgasm.

“I am when I need to be.” You said softly, adjusting your position in his lap as Halsin sat up just slightly, leaning back to place his weight along his forearms. He simply enjoyed watching you above him, seated ever so nicely in his lap as you took your time exploring with your fingers. Your chest was still heaving slightly from your orgasm just moments prior and the druid had his eyes glued to your form, drinking you in and memorizing every dip, curve, and blemish that adorned your body. With the soft light of the moon behind you, illuminating you in a glowing halo, he watched as a bead of sweat rolled from the side of your neck, lazily rolling over your collar ones and onto your chest before getting lost somewhere in the skin above your navel.

“The Oak Father truly broke the mold with you,” Halsin said softly as his eyes continued to wander across your naked body, “I’ve yet to see anything in nature that compares to your beauty.” If you weren’t already blushing, you were now. You leaned forward, kissing his lips as an appreciation for the compliment. 

“Don’t sell yourself short.” You murmured against his lips, taking the time to kiss them once more before moving your way down his neck. Both of your hands rested on his shoulders, beginning to move along his chest as you kissed and nipped lightly down his throat, searching for more tender expanses of skin. You felt him shudder with each light graze of your teeth against his neck, a satisfied hum coming from you with each nibble. With a light touch, you ran your fingertips across the expanse of his chest, feeling every bit that you could reach while still slightly leaned over his frame.

You returned to your previous position, pressing yourself up from his chest while allowing yourself to marvel at the hulking elf beneath you as your fingers continued to roam, feeling and caressing with a gentle touch. You traced along the thick veins in his arms, feeling the firmness of the surrounding muscles of the biceps that could easily have their way with you. His heart beat steadily in his chest when your fingers grazed over his pectorals, enjoying the feeling of the thick hair that coated his chest. While your fingers enjoyed their exploration of his chest, making sure to graze over and toy with his hardened nipples as your eyes traveled further down his body. He hissed at the contact, but loved every moment of your teasing fingertips along his skin.

Your gaze followed the line of coarse hair that trailed between the defined muscles of his chest and abdomen and came to an end at the base of his cock, which was seated nicely between your thighs. You smiled to yourself as you watched his member twitch and bob under your touch when you ran over a particularly sensitive spot, resisting the urge to tickle those areas when you came across them. Your forefinger ran along a nonsensical path around his abs, simply keeping the hand occupied as the opposite finally reached his throbbing cock, which was steadily dripping his arousal in a long stream along his stomach. With a quick flick of your gaze to Halsin, you dipped the tip of your forefinger in the pool of his spend, rubbing small circles to coat the digit before you finally brought your coated appendage to your lips.

“Something sweeter, you said?” You asked with a feigned innocence as you held his gaze, finding the anticipation in his face quite amusing. You could feel his muscles tighten beneath you as he anticipated your next move, his eyes flicking between your half lidded eyes and your coated finger hovering mere centimeters from your lips.

You ran your tongue along your coated finger, engulfing the entire digit in your mouth once you had reached the tip and the first taste of Halsin’s arousal had touched your tongue. You took your finger to the knuckle, cleaning the appendage quickly. Halsin’s hips bucked upwards as he watched your finger slowly slip from your mouth, thrusting you forwards until your hand collided with his chest to keep you from falling flat against him. 

Halsin’s shifted his weight to rest on one of his forearms, using his now free hand to grasp your jaw, pulling you into a heated kiss with a quiet growl. His tongue was in your mouth in an instant, tangling with yours in an attempt to feel as much of the mouth that had teased him all day. With your tongues dancing with one another, you slid your hand down his chest and stomach before ghosting your fingertips over the weeping head of his cock. Halsin released his mouth from yours to as his breath caught in his throat, his grip leaving your jaw as he fell back onto both arms.

You returned your lips to his body, planting sloppy, open mouthed kisses along his chest, steadily working your way lower as you followed the trail your fingers had previously taken. You could taste the sweat that had formed on his body as your lips traveled lower before you finally pulled away, admiring the trails you’d left along his skin. Your fingers had gone from simply teasing the sensitive head to stroking along the length of his cock in long, fluid movements. He pulsed in your grasp as you continued your stroking, squeezing in varying strength along his cock, stopping occasionally to rub small circles along his oversensitive cock head. 

“That touch of yours will be the end of me one day.” Halsin whispered as his head tilted back against his shoulders, his eyes closing slowly as he allowed himself to enjoy your movements. You watched as his chest heaved with each stroke of your hand, his breath coming in and out through his nose as he tried to keep himself collected and under control. Halsin felt his muscles tense and his heart pound under your touch, his body finally indulging in your long sought after touch, and he wanted the feeling to last as long as possible.

“Is that a promise of more nights like this, then?” You asked with a curious look, wiggling your way off his hips, choosing to settle between Halsin’s thighs to give yourself a better position for what was to come.

“Many more, if that is what you wish as well.” Halsin managed to choke out between sighs and soft groans as you stroked your hand along the length of his throbbing cock at a steady pace. Each flick of your wrist became easier over time, the slick that had fallen from the weeping tip giving you plenty of lubrication to work with. With lust filled eyes you looked up towards the druid as you began to lower your head to meet your hand.

“Oak Father, preserve me.” Halsin’s low voice wavered as he spoke, a shudder wracking his body as the flat of your tongue ran along the underside of his cock. His eyes reopened and he lifted his head long enough to watch as you wrapped your lips around his swollen tip. Halsin finally dropped to his back, his arms giving way underneath him as your tongue swirled the cock throbbing in your mouth. Like you had done with his finger earlier in the day, you pressed the tip to the roof of your mouth, creating a firm pressure to the overly sensitive head. 

Your tongue was softer than velvet against Halsin’s cock, swirling and suckling around the tip with enough pressure to make him squirm in pleasure. He moaned softly with each swipe of your tongue, his hips thrusting upwards ever so slightly to create more friction against your warm, wet mouth. With his tip still securely pressed to the top of your mouth, your tongue worked wonders on the underside of his member, focusing on the sensitive space on the underside of the tip. You suckled away on his cock while your hand continued to stroke lazily along his base. As he did with you, you took your time in exploring his cock with your mouth, listening to the delightful moans and sighs that came from above you.

Halsin let out an exasperated sigh when you finally released the suction from his cock, which allowed you to begin your teasingly slow descent. Your lips were pressed tightly around his cock, still creating a light suction as you worked your way down, although your pace wasn’t entirely due to just wanting to tease the man writhing at your touch. Given just how large of a man that Halsin was, you were under no illusions that his member would be anything less than large, but you truly weren’t prepared for just how impressive his size actually was. You took your time in an attempt to service his length in a way that was pleasurable to both you and Halsin. 

You took him further into your mouth, his tip beginning to slip into the tightness of your throat as you focused on not choking along his length all while keeping a steady breath. Halsin’s fingers found their way into your hair, settling on the crown of your head as he felt you lower yourself to your limit, a light gag coming from your throat before you pulled back up. His simply rested his hand along your head as you began to bob along his cock, gradually picking up speed as you became more comfortable with your limits. He didn’t pressure you further than you wanted or tried to change your pacing, but simply needed something to grasp onto as he worked his way through waves of pleasure. He wanted you to enjoy yourself as much as he was, and the last thing he wanted to do was to make you feel pressured to go beyond your limits. For this, you were thankful.

You soon found yourself in a rhythm, guiding your head up and down along the length of his hardened cock with ease, occasionally ending with an audible gag if you pushed yourself too far. For now, he was too large for you to comfortably handle, so you made use of your still slicked hand to stroke and toy with the portion of his shaft not covered by your mouth. From time to time you’d pull away, allowing yourself a few sucking breaths of air before your lips returned to him in some way either through licking any neglected areas or sliding it back into the heat of your mouth. His spend was salty against your tongue, yet something you swallowed eagerly. 

Halsin’s breath hitched and the urge to buck wildly into your warm mouth was becoming too much to handle as he felt a tingling warmth begin to settle in his groin. His fingers grasped at your hair lightly, desperate to anchor to something more substantial as he fought the urge to spill into his own orgasm. However, he resisted, wanting to save that wonderful wave of pleasure for something more intimate than your teasing mouth. Your eyes met Halsin’s once again as you continued your ministrations to his weeping cock, your gaze tender yet blissfully hazy.

You felt his fingers untangle themselves from your hair, dragging along your cheek with a loving touch. You nuzzled your cheek into his palm as best you could, your mouth still fully occupied with pleasuring the cock that was dangerously close to spilling over. Halsin gripped your chin gently, pulling you up and off his pulsing member with a shaky breath. His eyes were drawn to the line of spittle that still connected your reddened lips to the tip of his length, gently wiping your lip with his thumb as your breath came out in pants. You struggled to catch your breath as he held you in his grasp.

“If you keep going like that,” Halsin said after he’d regained some of his composure, “this night will be over much sooner than either of us would wish.”

“We have all night, do we not?” You asked as your tongue flicked across your lips, collecting any remaining spittle that lingered.

“We do, but let us hope that the sun is slow to rise.” Halsin murmured quietly before closing the gap between your bodies. He took your lips with his once more, tender and sweet as he came forward, urging you onto your back for the second time before parting from you. Your body settled into a fresh patch of grass that was slick with the beginning touches of dew forming on the blades. You sighed happily into the night air, your body succumbing to the gentle touches of the druid. Halsin’s hands softly grabbed the underside of your thighs, giving them a light squeeze as he parted your legs for him. 

Your heart fluttered as he crawled up the expanse of your body, his arms and hands surrounding you as he knees knocked your legs open a bit further. His kisses and touches had become light and feather soft, caressing your lips and body with a touch so gentle you almost couldn’t feel it. He was holding back as if touching you any more firmly would thoroughly break you. You had to admit that you understood his concern, given that the bulk of his frame was currently looming over you and he was a bit larger than you had anticipated.

“You don’t have to restrain yourself with me,” you said between kisses, “I’m sturdier than I look.” You brushed stray hair from his face, tucking it behind his ear and out of the way. You knew Halsin wanted something a bit more rugged. He was more than content with slow, languid kisses and soft touches, but you also knew that he had been pent up for quite some time between suppressing his own emotions for years and your own teasings as of late. You wanted him to enjoy himself just as much as you were. 

Holding back his feelings was something Halsin wasn’t accustomed to doing on a day-to-day basis; he wore his heart on his sleeve and made his emotions clear. You, however, were the one exception. He had been attracted to you for quite some time before either of you had made it to your current situation, yet he was hesitant to come forward with those feelings. Decades of denying himself something more meaningful and vulnerable simply couldn’t take a priority over his duties, so now that he was presented with the opportunity, Halsin had hesitated. But now, you both were here in each others arms, fully exposed and having tasted the other in some fashion; now was not the time to restrain feelings.

“I have no doubt about that, believe me, but either way I promise to be gentle.” Halsin said with a slight chuckle, “At least for now.” Halsin wanted nothing more than to hold you down and have his way with you until you were a puddled mess, but he also knew when the time was right. Although you were more than ready to try and take him, the last thing he wanted was to hurt you in his overeagerness. Instead, he opted to take things the more gentle route until he was sure you were up for something more vigorous. 

He pressed his lips to yours once again in a lingering kiss, moaning softly against your mouth as he lined the tip of his cock up with your well slicked entrance. Your body shuddered at the feeling of his warm, throbbing tip pressing against your eagerly awaiting entrance, the feeling of him being so close made your muscles melt beneath him. As slowly and carefully as possible, Halsin eased his way into you, earning a sudden gasp from your kiss swollen lips. He moved his own lips to your ear, cradling the opposite side of your face as he guided himself deeper into you.

His lips were soft and tender on your temple, kissing lightly when you hissed or made a gasp that sounded more uncomfortable than pleasurable. Halsin took his time, guiding his movements in accordance to your body’s reactions than his own lusts. From time to time you’d press your palm against his hip or stomach, quietly asking him to wait until you could adjust. When you did so, Halsin listened, waiting until you were ready to continue as he peppered your cheek with more kisses and whispered praise or encouragement in your ear. You moved your hand from his hip when you were ready to continue, whimpering softly as he continued the slow movement into your heat.

When Halsin had fully seated himself inside you, he released groan from deep within his chest, savoring the feeling of you around his hardened cock. You were warm and tight, which was everything he had expected from you, but the actual feeling of you wrapped around him was euphoric. With everything you had done for him so far, you had once again exceeded his expectations. With this, he wanted to begin moving against you and feel you expand and contract around him, but he paused. Halsin remained still inside you, waiting for your approval before continuing. He knew you needed time to adjust and he would allow you to take as much time as you needed. In the meantime, he simply enjoyed the feeling of being buried deep inside you.

Your eyes closed as you inhaled deeply, adjusting to the size of the length buried inside you. He was large, but not uncomfortable. Halsin was exceedingly gentle with you, not wanting to hurt you with his size, but you were ready for more. You met his haze once more before giving a gentle nod, urging him to continue.

“You have been more than worth the wait.” Halsin murmured in your ear as his hips began to move against you, taking your lips once more with his before you could respond. Your moaned against him, the feeling of his cock slowly slipping out of you before nuzzling back in made a light warmth settle on your cheeks and made your heart flutter with anticipation. You stayed like this for some time, your arms wrapped around each other while connected by your lower halves, taking everything slow and steady until your body had grown accustomed to the size of the cock nestled deep inside you.

However, it wasn’t long before you felt comfortable with his size. Your hips rolled against his, asking him to begin picking up the pace as any discomfort quickly subsided and was replaced with pleasure and ecstasy. Halsin eagerly complied, pulling his arms from you slightly so he could rest along his palms, his hips rolling against yours as he kept his thrusts light, but just slightly faster. Your hands ran down his chest like they had done earlier, feeling his muscles flex under your fingertips with his movements. Halsin was correct, he and this moment were more than worth every moment of teasing and waiting that you’d experienced. He was worth it.

Halsin sat back, resting his weight on splayed knees so he could watch you from above. His hands explored and grasped at the expanse of your thighs as he watched your body writhe and roll under his touch, desperate to meet his cock with a roll each time he sheathed himself fully into you. His eyes searched your body, unsure of which part of you to settle on for more than a few seconds. He wanted to take in every bit of you as he thrust his hips into your warmth. Your face and chest were covered in a deep blush and glistened with sweat against the glow of the moonlight, parts of you bounced each time his hips snapped to yours and became almost hypnotic if he started too long, but in the end he decided that the most delicious part of you to watch was simply just how well you took his throbbing cock. His eyes traveled to where you both were joined, mesmerized by how your entranced stretched with each thrust to accommodate his size, but so early accepted him back in each time he fully entered you. The view combined with the feeling of your heat squeezing around him was almost enough to send him into a frenzy.

Halsin gripped the underside of one of your thighs, lifting it from the ground until the back of your leg rested against his broad chest, opening you up more for him, but also allowing him a better view of his cock disappearing into your heat. His lips and tongue found the skin of your leg and left sloppy, wet kisses along the sweat soaked skin as his fingers pressed firmly into the soft flesh of your thigh. His other hand traveled to your lower half, feeling your muscles tighten in your abdomen as your released neared. He used his fingers to brush across your most sensitive spots, a playful smile gracing his lips as you responded deliciously to his touch.

Your body was on fire, aching and throbbing with heat as Halsin snapped his hips to yours with each thrust. The sound of wet skin smacking against skin and mingled with grunts and moans filled the quiet evening air, making any animal in the area scamper off quickly at the noise. Your cheeks burned with exertion and desire, a feeling that was equally matched in the fire that was ignited in your lower belly. You could feel the string of pleasure begin to coil, knowing it wouldn’t be long before it snapped once more. Your hands grasped and squeezed at your chest, fingers flicking across and occasionally pinching your hard and sensitive nipples, eliciting sharp moans into the air that sent shivers down the back of the druid.

“More,” you gasped out as you felt the coil deepen, “please.” Your voice was almost a whine, needy with desire and lust as Halsin continued his movements.

Halsin moved instantly at your words, pressing forward until his chest met yours, your leg still pressed against his chest as your knee now rested close to your face. He moved your other leg to rest on his other shoulder, his hands shaking at the feeling of you practically halved beneath him. His arms kept your legs from slipping off his sweaty shoulders as his hands came to rest by your head, one of them tangling in your hair with a firm grasp. His lips found your neck and offered a light bite to the soft flesh, making your mouth fall open at the contact. Halsin thrust into you more firmly, knees and toes digging into the grass beneath him as his pace increased. 

Your own hands found purchase on his body, one resting on the side of his warmed cheek and the other tangling with the knot he kept tied at the back of his head. Your body trembled beneath his as your second orgasm starting coming to a peak, knowing it wouldn’t be long until it crashed over your body. Halsin’s eyes remained locked to yours, entranced by the look of pleasure that covered your lovely face. You panted against each other, breath mixing together and only adding to the heat of the moment.

“You’re almost there, my heart.” Halsin panted against you as his forehead rested along yours, “Let go. Let me feel you.” The new use of a pet name and his coaxing send sparks flying through your body, awakening some sort of arousal you’d have to explore more at a later time. For now, however, his words and movements were enough to send you over the edge, your body shaking with a delicious heat and pleasure as your legs trembled against his shoulders. Your orgasm rushed through your body, sending bolts of electricity along your spine as you rode it out. You tightened your hold against Halsin’s cock, which was still thrusting into your sensitive entrance. The sudden grip on him almost caused his to experience his own release, but the druid held firm and made the feeling subside. As much as he wanted to feel his own pleasure course through him, he wanted to take you one final time before indulging in his own pleasure. You moaned and whined, your body twitched and shook under the last remaining licks of your orgasm, your mind hazed with pleasure and exhaustion.

With a swift movement, Halsin removed your trembling legs from his shoulders, pulling them to the side as he flipped you to your stomach. While still in your daze, you felt his hands press against your chest and around one of your legs, easily lifting your still trembling body from the ground and a better position so you could lay comfortably on the ground before pressing you firmly into the grass beneath you. You were taken by surprise, your mind swimming with enough pleasure and haze that you hadn’t fully processed his movements until your cheek was met with a patch of grass, leaving your arms pinned between your own chest and the ground. Halsin’s hands gripped at your hips, swiftly tugging them upwards and towards him with an almost desperate pace. 

You let out a moan at the sudden change of position, letting Halsin rearrange your limbs with ease as you still were reeling from your orgasm. Halsin parted your legs once again, settling nicely between them as he realigned himself with your still trembling entrance. He entered you more quickly than before, still taking note of not being too rough with you, making sure you were comfortable with how he was seated within you before he began his thrusting once again. You whimpered as he picked up the pace, your swollen sex still sensitive from your climax as it tingled and clenched around the druid’s impressive length.

Halsin's hand traveled the length of your back as he steadily and firmly snapped his hips to yours, knocking you forward just slightly with each thrust. Halsin admired the beauty of your body, even from a less than flattering angle. The way your hips curved into your waist, the small dips in your lower back that lead to a steep curve in your spine caused by his movements, and the taught muscles in your shoulders that were defined from battle all enticed him even more. Halsin had admittedly fallen for you based off your merit and kindness, but he couldn’t deny that you were beautiful inside and out, especially when splayed out underneath him.

Your skin was hot beneath his touch, both from exertion and the heat of the night, and your body glistened under the moonlight. He had longed to feel your skin in his grasp for some time now, the thought alone keeping him up many nights as he struggled to subdue his own feelings for the sake of duty. The thoughts that would plague his mind of the caress of your hands had only intensified with your recent teasings, making the feel of your skin slapping against his all the more pleasurable. As his hand caressed the skin of your hips and back, Halsin had enough sense to flick the pieces of grass and dirt that had stuck to your skin from your previous position, lovingly brushing you clean as his hips were mercilessly slamming into yours. You felt his hand grip your shoulder, desperate to hold you in place as he chased his release. 

Your breath hitched as you felt Halsin’s hand firmly grab your shoulder, giving him better leverage to thrust into you from behind. The sudden change of pace from soft and loving to frantic and rough wasn’t quite what you were expecting over the course of the night, but it was a most welcome change. Up until now, Halsin was focused on your pleasure and release over his. He was attentive and loving, making sure your had expended yourself to your limits, even denying his own release when he felt the luscious feeling of your lips wrapped around him.

But this was different. It was still caring, given that Halsin wasn’t ramming into you with his full strength, but this was for him. He was finally allowing himself to indulge in the pleasures of the flesh that he had denied himself for so long. He was desperate to make it last, to have this night make up for years of denial and longing, but you could tell he was nearing his end. Your ears were greeted with a symphony of grunts and growls rumbling deep in his chest the harder he slammed into you. Although you were met with no discomfort, just a delicious feeling of being pressed into the ground by your lover.

Halsin’s grip on your shoulder was strong, simply given the size of the druid, but not quite enough to keep you from shifting underneath him. He released your shoulder, which was now slightly red from his hold, and slid his hand to your back once again, resting between your shoulder blades with his fingers splayed wide against your dampened skin. You let out a moan and a wheeze as you felt the air leave your lungs, leaving you with a deliciously pleasant sting as Halsin pressed into your back firmly, lifting himself slightly to apply as much pressure as he could without causing you harm. You were now securely pinned to the ground, allowing the druid to slam into you without the inconvenience of you slipping out beneath him.

You both let out a pleasurable moan at the new position, the angle allowing Halsin to slip fully into you and pound away at the wonderfully sensitive spot deep inside you that made your vision blur each time he made contact with the tip of his cock. Halsin was practically hovering over you, taking in every bit of your body as he barreled towards his own release. He watched the way his cock slipped in and out of you effortlessly, given his size, and the way your body graciously accepted him. Halsin could feel his legs begin to shake and the pacing of his hips begin to falter, stuttering every few thrusts as he came closer to his orgasm.

“Look at me, my heart.” His voice was gruff and shaky, but it was more of a plea than a command, one you happily complied with. Your haze was a bit foggy, but you looked over you shoulder as you remained pinned to the ground, your mouth hanging open in an attempt to breath as best you could with the pressure on your back. Your lips tugged into a slight smile as you peered up at the druid, the sight of him coming undone because of you brought you more joy than you could have previously thought. You met his gaze with half-lidded eyes, but there was more than just lust behind them and Halsin could see this as well. There was no doubt that your pupils were dilated with lust and pleasure from both your orgasms, but there was something more meaningful. There was trust, admiration, acceptance, and if Halsin’s own lust fogged mind could be trusted, perhaps even the faintest hint of love behind the beautifully bright eyes staring back at him.

Your gaze and the feeling of your warmth clenching around his cock was the final act that sent Halsin over the edge. An uncharacteristically loud curse left his lips as he hunched forward, digging his heels into the dirt as he thrust into you a final time. His hand lifted from your back and collided with the ground beside your head to keep from crushing you beneath his weight and it allowed you a sucking breath as Halsin spilled himself deep inside you. His opposing hand was still firmly gripped to your hips, holding them in place as his body shuddered with each contraction of his muscles. Each warm rope that spilled from his cock sent waves of pleasure down Halsin’s back, making his muscles twitch and tense with each burst. He released a low grunt every time he spilled, each one landing deep inside you, filling you with a gentle warmth.

Halsin fell to his forearms as he slowly fell from his peak, his head coming to rest softly against your shoulder as he panted against your skin. The druid finally released your hip from his grasp, the desperation and intensity behind his grip had finally softened as his body began to relax against yours, softly rubbing your sweat soaked skin to soothe the marks he’d left on your posterior. He littered your shoulder blades with a string of slow, loving kisses, placing a few to the back of your neck. You both lay there for a few precious moments, simply enjoying the feeling of being so close to the other while still connected, your minds slowly falling down from the blissful peaks you had climbed towards.

After giving a final kiss to the area between your shoulders, Halsin pulled himself from you gently, knowing you both were now a bit sore and rather sensitive. You whimpered softly as you felt him slip out of you, already missing the fullness he offered. With the bulk of his weight now off your frame, you finally managed to pull one of your arms out from underneath you, bracing it on the ground before hoisting yourself onto your hands and knees. Halsin went down to his side, pulling you with him with a quick roll as he settled for the evening. Your head rested along the expanse of his bicep, rolling to rest your cheek to his skin as you lay along your back, one knee coming up to bend and help you adjust. 

“Are you all right?” Halsin asked as he brushed more bits of grass from your cheek with his free hand, plucking blades from your temples and your hairline.

“Very much so.” You hummed softly, your eyes becoming heavy as you melted against his touch.

Your skin had finally cooled after the activity from the night, leaving you with tacky skin, but free from beads of sweat. Despite the heat coming from Halsin’s body, you were pleasantly warm and thoroughly satisfied for the evening. You lay together, wrapped in each others embrace on the forest floor, listening to the lulling sounds of the night as you simply enjoyed the silence. Halsin’s free hand traveled along your body, gently caressing and mending any wounds that may have appeared during your rougher moments. 

“Can I offer you a wash?” He asked after a moment, having run along your body several times. You looked to him, offering a gentle smile with tired eyes. 

“That sounds lovely,” you murmured, leaning up to leave a slow kiss to his lips, “but let’s stay here for a spell. I’m not quite ready to return to camp just yet.”

Halsin tugged you closer to him, your bodies fully pressed to the other as the arm you were resting on had wrapped around your shoulders. You tossed your leg over his, tangling your legs together as one of your arms wrapped around his midsection. With the sun still below the horizon, you had a few hours of darkness left before returning to camp was a necessity, giving you a few precious moments together to simply be. You and Halsin spoke softly, whispering sweet words and blush worthy compliments to each other, caressing and touching and learning the details of the other. Eventually, the low rumbles of Halsin’s voice filled you with a sense of peace, causing your eye lids to droop and fall heavy. You fought the feeling, simply wanting to stay awake to enjoy the moment.

“Rest, my heart,” he whispered against your hair, “we’ll find more moments for each other.” He placed a single, gentle kiss to your forehead, pulling away when your eyelids finally closed for the evening and your mind began drifting off to a moment of restful sleep.

Tag List: @thoughts-of-bear ,@beardedladyqueen, @pixie-in-a-moonlantern, @ur-friendly-nbhd-cardassian, @ouranyaoi @galeofyourwaterdeep @mskinkyafro @jenn-majima @blobs-away @halsinsnaturepocket

[mi-i-zori]

Think and Forget

CoD - Ghost x GN!Reader

SYNOPSIS : You never stop thinking about your Lieutenant - until he makes you.

WARNINGS : NSFW - 18+. Smut (with a little bit of context, but barely). MDNI.

Author’s Note : I wanted to practice writing smut without thinking about it too much. I intended it to be longer, but I’ve been stuck on it for more than a week now, so I’ve decided to be done with it. Next time will be better, but I still kinda like this. Hope you do too !

I do not give anyone permission to re-publish, re-use and/or translate my work, be it here or on any other platform, including AI.

Main Masterlist

There is something about him that you never manage to fully figure out.

No matter how hard you try, his eyes remain unreadable. The library of his thoughts is constantly locked, and nobody knows where he hid the key - or if he still has it at all. Your efforts to take a peek through the keyhole have yet to bear any fruit ; a veil of darkness has fallen over his soul, obscuring your view whenever you hold his gaze for too long. Still, you don’t want to give up on deciphering his heart. So you keep on trying, poking at the steel lining his defenses. Many have lost more than a finger in the process of doing so, yet you refuse to let that thought scare you away from him. His very presence is too magnetising for you to ignore.

Curiosity killed the cat, many people like to say, obscuring the second part of the idiom. Changing its whole meaning. You, however, refuse to forget about it, aiming for the satisfaction said to have brought the feline back.

So you try to be as subtle as possible when you let your eyes and thoughts runs over his silhouette during training, analysing his every movement. You pretend to focus on his words whenever he supervises your own exercises, hoping to see an ounce of his mind behind the cold, distant aura he is so intent on maintaining around others. You keep wondering if you will ever be able to see a glimpse of who he really is ; learn about the man standing behind the wall.

You do, sometimes. These moments, however, always take place when he renders you unable to think.

Whenever his hands roam your skin, gripping every curve they fall upon with a desperation you have yet to understand, you find yourself surprised by his tenderness. His fingers seem to reach for your very soul, calluses molding both flesh and bone. Your heart synchronises with his as he holds you to his chest, exploring the expanse of your back all over again. His breath on your shoulder leaves a delicate ache in its wake, and you sometimes wonder how the chills running down your spine keep getting sweeter each time.

Under the light of day, he is nothing more than a machine. A tool made for destruction, cursed with a coldness that never seems to leave him even for a second. Sharp words echo in the minds surrounding him, and icy eyes carve incandescent holes in everything they touch behind the fabric covering his face.

Yet the abyss of his voice softens when the moon rises, highlighting aspects of his soul even he thought ceased to exist eons ago ; a reality he unveils only in front of you.

His touch leaves vicious burns on your skin. He coaxes you to bury your head in the crook of his neck, driking up every trembling breath dripping through your lips as his hands run down your back. A soft grunt echoes in your ear as your teeth sink into his shoulder. A shiver runs down your back, following his fingers as they find your core with ease, and he savours the taste of the whimper you let out the second they enter you.

- Easy, luv’, he says as you instinctively clench around him, the deep rumbling of his voice sending waves of ecstasy straight to your core.

Once again, Lieutenant Riley is impossible to read. Even as you both become one, trembling limbs and erratic breaths intertwined, the only thing you see behind his eyes is an indecipherable storm. A mayhem that seems to be engraved in his very bones, tainting him from the inside out.

- You like bein’ good to me, eh ? Lettin’ me take care of ya ?

You can only nod against his shoulder. Your chest collides with his as you bounce steadily on his length, his hands digging into your thighs to support your effort. He keeps whispering praises into your ear ; low grunts sometimes interrupt his words as you drag your nails down his back and arms, admiring the red streaks they leave on his skin.

Your legs tighten around his waist, allowing your hips to apply even more pressure against his. They roll over and over, dragging both moans and whimpers out of your throat, grunts out of his. His hand suddenly staples itself to the back of your neck - and your eyes flutter as he draws your head back, diving into the curve of your neck to suck violet bruises on your skin.

Mark you as his.

- Such a good pet fo’ me, he mumbles, kissing your pulse.

An animalistic heat is taking over his voice as he plunges his teeth into your collarbone. Pain shoots up your neck and shoulder, raining down the muscles of your arm.

His name is lost in your scream. Pleasure clouds your mind and vision, obscuring the many questions you still had about him right before nightfall. You let him drop you on the bed, once again sealing your hips together before abruptly rutting into you, reaching a well-known, sacred place only he can seem to find. Electricity courses through your core, causing your legs to jerk as they lock behind his back - drawing him even closer to your form. He relishes in the feeling, head dropping to his chest with a low growl.

The sight of him towering over you, broad shoulders heaving and sweat running down the sturdy valley of his chest, causes you to choke on a strangled moan.

His ravaged hand finds leverage on the headboard. The polished wood slams into the wall, following the frantic rhythm of his body slamming into yours. Your teeth tear your lips as you try to bite on a trembling cry, and your Lieutenant leans towards you, his breath ghosting your face through the fabric of his mask. Dark eyes lock onto yours, boring holes into your soul as his fingers keep working harshly on your clit.

- Cum fo’ me.

And as always, these words are enough to send you over the edge.

[nuwanda24]

Take Me to Church - Merlin

Just realised how perfect Hozier's Take Me to Church fits Merlin:

"A fresh poison each week" - it's meant metaphorically, but we all know how literal that is in the context of Merlin. There's not a single week that goes by without some magical threat or someone trying to poison/otherwise assassinate Arthur

"We were born sick, you heard them say it" - Merlin was born with magic, he's magic incarnate; Arthur on the other hand only got conceived through magic, so they were both "born sick" from Uther's of view

"If I'm a pagan of the good times" - Merlin basically is a God of the Old Religion, a pagan belief that symbolises the "good time" in which magic was free

"My lover's the sunlight" - Arthur is, as is well established in the fandom, extremely sun-coded, not only visualy with his golden hair. He is the crown prince, later king, everybody looks up to him while noone dares to come too close (despite Merlin). He burns with an incredible brightness for his people, for Camelot, but in the end, he burns out, just as every sun will do eventually. Merlin, on the other hand, is the night or moon to Arthur's sun. He keeps in Arthur's shadow, never seeking attention or retribution for all that he has done. He has to work in the dark in order to ensure that Arthur and by extend Camelot can be safe. He hates it (remember his rant in S3E11 "I hate it, to be the most powerful person I know and to have to act like a shadow, to be special and to have to play the fool"), but he willingly and glady sacrifices his own light so that Arthur's can burn brighter.

"To keep the goddess on my side" - I don't remember if this is canon or just something that most of the fanfics I've read agreed on, but the Triple Goddess is presumably responsible for the whole prophecy regarding Emrys and the Once and Future King, and Merlin needs to keep her on his side, in order to fulfill his destiny.

"She demands a sacrifice" - this could either be the Cailleach in S4E1-2 The Darkest Hour who demands a life as sacrifice to close the veil between the world of the living and the dead; or it is about Arthur, who needs to die in order to be able to rise again in Albion's greatest time of need.

The Bridge is: "No masters or kings when the ritual begins / There is no sweeter innocence than our gentle sin / In the madness and soil of that sad earthly scene / Only then, I am human, only then, I am clean". - that part is less concret, but it still reminds me of Arthur's death scene - only Arthur and Merlin are left to witness it, there are no knights, no Gwen, no Camelot, no titles or rank, nothing but the two of them and their love for each other, the bond they share. And I think that in many instances Arthur was the one who kept Merlin in touch with his humanity. Yes, he was also the reason why Merlin crossed boundary after boundary, making him hate himself more and more and making him believe himself to be a monster, but I don't think he's ever felt as human (and as powerless) as the moment he felt Arthur die in his arms.

And then there's the chorus: "I'll worship like a dog at the shrine of your lies" - Merlin worships Arthur, there's nothing he wouldn't do for that man, no matter how much he insults him or how hypocritical his actions might be. Arthur can break any promise, tell any lie (not that he does that very often), Merlin will still be there. And in the end, like Odysseus' dog Argus, he waited and waited on the shores of Avalon for the day that Arthur might finally come back to him.

"I'll tell you my sins and you can sharpen your knife" - I mean, that's literally what happens. Merlin tells Arthur about his powers, and you can't tell me that he wouldn't have allowed him (after he'd have forced him to get healed and ensured that Arthur would live) to put any punishment upon him, even death, that he wouldn't have preferred to die by Arthur's knife than to have to live without him.

"Offer me that deathless death, oh, good God, let me give you my life" - how often does Merlin offer his own life for Arthur's? From the very episode on, he throws himself between his prince and everything and everyone trying to harm him, from knives over curses, to drinking poison and Dorochas. And there were so many instances where he should have died but didn't, suffering (or surviving) a deathless death.

The song just perfectly depicts Merlin's (unhealthy) devotion to his king, and how that feeds on his soul.

[accala]

Did Sephiroth TRULY know who Cloud was? : A Ramble

We're aware that OG Sephiroth didn't know who Cloud was pre-Nibelheim. But I think, Sephiroth didn't know him past that either.

1997 Sephiroth and Cloud were mere coworkers. And then Cloud became memorable to Sephiroth after he stabbed him. But even that is debatable due to the ferry to Costa Del Sol dialogue; with Sephiroth-Jenova (Sephiroth puppeteering Jenova's body part) not knowing who Cloud was when they had their first conversation. Although, this could be Jenova being confused or Sephiroth genuinely not remembering Cloud (I'm honestly not sure).

Either way, Sephiroth knew enough about Cloud in order to manipulate him—through reading other people's memories (via Jenova's mimetic abilities). And I say other people’s memories since Cloud himself had amnesia and memory problems.

Which brings a lovely discussion of how most of Sephiroth's knowledge about Cloud is untrustworthy. Sephiroth only knows the IDEA OF CLOUD, of this amalgamation of how Cloud falsely perceives himself and the perception of others. AND IT'S SO FITTING how his manipulations never worked in the end. Because he never had the right cards to play to begin with. Those perceptions never truly defined him as a person, no matter how much Sephiroth twisted them or presented them as it is. AND I LOVE THAT.

(more ramblings under keep reading)

"Sephiroth-Jenova (Sephiroth puppeteering Jenova's body part) not knowing who Cloud was when they had their first conversation."

Under this context: do you guys think Sephiroth focused on Cloud moreso due to convenience than the fact he stabbed him (considering he doesn't even remember him)?

If we're going for that route, then Sephiroth only saw Cloud as one among thousands of "Sephiroth clones." A convenient pawn. After all, he was manipulating J-cell infused people AND Jenova's body parts all over the world. And Cloud just so happened to be one of the only people with J-cells who a) was actively opposing him, b) was semi-intact/physically capable to do his bidding, and c) had a whole group with him that included the Cetra.

And honestly, I like the idea of Sephiroth not singling out Cloud. It suits Cloud's awakening. It makes his self-discovery and his defeat of Sephiroth all the more sweeter.

[mrsnancywheeler]

This one is so long I’m so sorry!!!

But Finnick is just so Hozier (I love a whipped man. Not like gale tho)

Finnick is “Work song” by Hozier it’s not even funny.

~~~~

“Boys, workin' on empty

Is that the kinda way to face the burning heat?

I just think about my baby”

Despite everything that has happened to him he persists because he thinks about his sweet girl. The pain, the hardships, the struggles, he can get through it all if he just thinks about her

~~~~~~

“I'm so full of love I could barely eat”

Just his all encompassing love, his love is enough to nourish him, he doesn’t need anything else she just needs his sweet girl

~~~~~

“There's nothing sweeter than my baby”

I mean….he literally calls her “sweet girl”. He thinks the world of her. She’s kind, she’s caring, to him she’s the definition of “sweet”. He thinks the world of her, nothing is better then her.

~~~~~

“'Cause my baby's sweet as can be

She give me toothaches just from kissin' me”

Again more just thinking the world of his sweet girl. There’s no one better, no one who makes him feel anywhere remotely close to what his sweet girl makes him feel. Just being around her fixes his mood, fixes his day.

And plus to him she literally tastes sweet, like peaches.

~~~~~

“When my time comes around

Lay me gently in the cold, dark earth

No grave can hold my body down

I'll crawl home to her”

So I feel like this is so much about 1) Finnick also having kinda a death wish sometimes but 2) feeling the need to live so he can be with her. He fought in 13 for her, he’d fight tooth and nail for her.

All he needs to know is that she’s gonna be there. He will crawl from the depths of the earth, the depths of display to go back home (aka her arms)

~~~~~~

“Boys, when my baby found me

I was three days on a drunken sin”

OKAY BUT LIKE THINK ABOUT THR CONTEXT OF WHAT FINNUCK WAS GOING THROUGH WHEN HE MET HER??? ITS SO FITTING

~~~~~~

“And I was burnin' up a fever

I didn't care much how long I lived

But I swear I thought I dreamed her”

Again think about what he was going through when he met her. It’s not like he valued his own life all that much and that year he spent with her felt like a dream, like something that was too good to be true.

~~~~~

“She never asked me once about the wrong I did”

“My babe would never fret none

About what my hands and my body done”

“If the Lord don't forgive me

I'd still have my baby and my babe would have me”

This is getting long so I’ll have these lines together…so like again during the first year of their relationship. Finnick feels very guilty about the death he caused, that he’s a bad person, but his sweet girl never once held it against him, never once blamed him. She never even asked. Despite everything he’s done she’s still with him

~~~~~

“When I was kissing on my baby

And she put her love down soft and sweet

In the low lamplight I was free

Heaven and hell were words to me”

AGAIN!!! Being with her is what defines his happiness. Those secrete moments between them, the ones in their home, when the Capitol isn’t with them, he was as free as he could be. Heaven and hell meant nothing being he was with her

~~~~

Anyway I love Finnick and I love Hozier

-🌾anon

you're all good pookie 💕

THIS. you're literally so correct with this, and he's the adorable, loving kind of whipped for his sweet girl

when he's in the depths of suffering or hardships he still only thinks about his sweet girl. how he needs to protect her and get back to her no matter what it takes, the games, the rebellion, the war, whatever he's got to do

and she truly is everywhere for him, like when he smells what he thinks might be peaches in his food and is consumed with grief because it makes him think of her. and regardless of how we as an audience might read into her actions as more harsh or impulsive, he sees only the good parts, her flaws are just things he has nothing but sympathy and love for. she does most of what she does out of a place of care of self-hate, and he just loves her endlessly. when he's without her, life is bitter.

yes yes yes, he needs her to stay as something he can come back too, to work for, to give him reason to keep living. he begs her not to go into the quell, he does all he can do she won't be on the squad. he won't let death get him when he knows he can come back to his sweet girl. if she's in the heat of danger and something happens, he doesn't think he'll be able to weather that and knows she wouldn't be able to either, which he could never forgive himself for, even in death.

YES finnick was a young, drunk teenage boy living in peak opulence, having everything at his fingertips, endless parties, and drinks, and fun, but then there's her. she feels so right, it's just too good to be true, to be real, because she's so perfect for him. he understands her and she understands him in a way that no one else can.

he's fresh out of the games really, like a year or so later and of course he's still wrecked with guilt, and always with the nightmares. she's so comforting, she doesn't pry, lets him open up whenever he wants too, and when he does she's nothing but loving. reminding him that he didn't have a choice and all the things he did just brought them together and he's starstruck with how endlessly kind she is. he can't fathom how she puts no blame on him, and he feels the same way when she comes back from her games.

when they can just purely be together, be themselves it's the most free he's ever felt and nothing else he's ever done or felt guilty for matters because it's just the two of them. his sweet girl in his arms, someone he loves more then life itself and he can drown in her very being because of the pure joy it creates

and that's so real of you, he's a Hozier of a man ❤️

[thebestofoneshots]

OH, LILLY. To give you some context, I’m attending some church events because of a friend, something like youth catechism meetings and such. Last week, a priest came to teach us step by step how the mass is conducted. He started by showing us his vestments, putting on the clothes, and asking us if we knew the name of the white robe he puts on first, which is called the alb. AND ALL I COULD THINK ABOUT WAS FATHER REMUS AT THE ALTAR. Throughout the talk, I also recalled several moments from the fic. And I have to admit that this priest, who is in his thirties, is not bad at all… 💭

Ufff, Omg that sounds so much fun! I mean not the church thing, but the hot priest thing!

I mean, I've never met an ACTUAL hot priest, but Sam and Dean Winchester in priest attire were enough to sway me.

Love that you were thinking profane thoughts in the church lol, that was literally my rebellion when I got dragged to the church that time and it inspired the entire fic hehe. And the fact that he talked about the ALB omg, I had to google that because I honestly had no idea what all the church terms were (let alone in English!).

Anyway, if Mr. 30 year old priest really was hot, you already know all the good tips.

Read No Sweeter Innosence Than Out Gentle Sin Here

[sitp-recs]

Eager for the Sky by @oknowkiss

Harry/Draco, minor Harry/Ron and Draco/Blaise (2022, Mature, 35k)

It was announced, just as the Triwizard Tournament had been, at the start of term feast. A year-long, international Quidditch varsity match — the inaugural Wizarding Academy Cup. In which Harry is Hogwarts' star Seeker, Draco is on the bench, and they both have a thing or two to learn about playing for the same team.

Draco hated that, the way Potter would sneak up on him, proving he’d been listening. He had always seemed to be caught up in his own head, never paying attention to anything or anyone but himself, but now that Draco was starting to know him, he was beginning to see the truth of Potter.

When I started this blog over two years ago, I’d write (smaller, but still) recs for every fic I liked. At some point I was reccing up to 3 fics a day and started bookmarking them all to keep track of my own recs - maybe that’s why I got more than 600 bookmarks lol - and it was really fun and fulfilling, but it also demanded A LOT of time and energy. As they both became scarce, I changed strategies and decided to only rec fics that touched me in a more personal way. These days I write recs mostly on a whim; it happens less and less because I’m not reading as much, sure, but also because it needs to be a frantic urge, almost like a trance, and it needs to hit me right after I’m finished a fic otherwise it won’t be fresh in my mind.

I’ve wanted to rec something from E for so long and after being left intrigued and impressed by any day now and licence to kill (two solid recs if you haven’t read those yet!) I couldn’t see what was holding me back. Now I ask myself if I had been waiting for Eager for the Sky. And not necessarily because it’s the perfect fit for my tastes - in fact, I barely read or care for 8th year fics nowadays - but because this fic found me at the moment I needed it the most. Coming back from a brief hiatus (that felt longer than life itself) right before Christmas last year, I can say that reading this was a refreshing and lovely experience, but also magical in many ways. And funnily enough, this rec has been sitting in my drafts, half-finished, since January. Once again, something I couldn’t figure out was holding me back until I saw this gorgeous binding post by @a-gay-old-time (go check it right now!!) and I accidentally found out that last week was E’s one year fandomversary! Perfect timing to wrap this up and post it as a humble homage to one of the authors whose talent I’ve enjoyed and admired the most in the past year. What a gift to have you in this fandom, and what a privilege to read this incredible 8th year romance!

Way beyond the delight of watching Draco and Harry fall in love over the course of a (very cool and inventive) Quidditch championship, I was so touched by the amount of tenderness, youth and heart this story coveys. There is something unbearably sweet about an enemies to friends to lovers journey that explores the wonders of being young and free to flirt, experience and discover. I could feel the joy of falling in love all over again through every line here, through every knowing smile and surreptitious touch. The slow burn is masterfully done in a way that never feels empty, boring or dragged. Every little moment brings new discoveries about each other and is important to bring them together as friends, and then as lovers.

It’s worth mentioning that there’s a fair amount of longing, UST and some infuriating delicious cockblocking but somehow the way it’s written and the context it’s given make the experience even sweeter and more rewarding. I was in no rush to see this over and found it very charming that they saw value in wanting, teasing, flirting, chasing. Because I really ready young Drarry I had almost forgotten how fun a pining Draco can be in all his teenage complexity, capable of signaling confidence, vulnerability, inadequacy and tenderness all at once.

His emotions felt so very real I could feel a lump in my throat, and I was especially moved by his genuine response to Harry’s prior involvement with Ron (Be still my Rarry heart!!! For those wondering: this is a minor but significant plot point that made my heart ache and grow twice its size, I’m so soft for this brOTP! By the way - side Rarry & Blaco? A fic after my own heart!). Even more brilliant is the fact that E published Eager for the Sky and July Tree pretty much back to back and these two fantastic 8th year tales complement each other perfectly. They got a very different tone from her usual edgy “mature Drarry” which I also love - and maybe that’s why I was caught off guard by how fast I felt emotionally connected to this softer, more innocent brand of love. Not to mention that superb art by @upthehillart - killing me softly as per usual, with the ultimate teenage Drarry headcanon what a treat!!

This fic was exactly what I needed and it gave me the delicious catharsis I was looking for without really knowing. It pulled me back into the fandom with its light, easy, unpretentious young romance, sprinkled with some excellent dialogue and charming banter that will make you laugh out loud at their sass, plus a sweet and delightful mix of curious, inexperienced but extremely insightful and lovable characters. I’m so happy I found this fic and that I got to write a rec for it! Thank you E for sharing this beauty and so many other fantastic stories with us - I’m delighted to share this space with you and can’t wait to see what comes next 💜

Read on AO3

[mcybree]

hi ive just read some of your fh posts and i just wanna say. first of all yes

second i think i feel similarly(??) about nearly every c!relationship in the life series

nobody in this series is mentally okay, they're in cyclic death games and are repeatedly undergoing trauma, that, eyesandears-wise, literally fragments their souls- they obviously won't be perfect and they're probably gonna be actually quite Bad

and void do i love that from a story perspective

desert duo aren't okay. flower husbands aren't okay. renchantyn aren't okay. southlands aren't okay. mean gills aren't okay. bad boys aren't okay- literally any relationship isn't okay and i enjoy the hell out of it. they're all flawed in one way or another and i enjoy it a lot

Honestly I didnt know how to reply to this one for a while because I didn’t really have a point to make here? Like yeah the nature of death games makes it really difficult to keep a healthy stable relationship with how much shit they’re going through constantly so a lot of it is fascinatingly messy... but also I’m (SHOCKINGLY) the kind of person that gravitates towards more optimistic reads on the series than not, which. okay yeah it doesn’t look that way with how I post but yall are gonna have to trust me on that one LMAO

All of the characters and relationships in the life series are flawed to different extents but to me it’s in the same way real life relationships are and for being in the context of CYCLICAL HORRIFIC BLOODSPORTS quite a few of them are okay actually. Namely the roomies were really awesome this season (GRIAN DIDNT KILL THEM🎉) but the ranchers, scott and cleo, tango and skizz (based on the last two seasons— I would NOT cite them here for Last Life I’m just listing them here bc I think theyve moved past that and are good friends again which. yay!!) and crastle duo are all pretty solid too imo and im sure there’s more that could be listed here

What I’m trying to say is that yeah the detrimental tragic bad is there and it’s interesting and there’s so much of it because everyone in these games has ten million issues at this point, I think it makes the good relationships and moments of genuine care that persist against all odds even sweeter. So yeah, I guess I too love that the cubes are fucked up. The fucked up cubes can love so that means I can too

[super-hero-confessions]

Billy Butcher is a genuinely worse person than Homelander and this is plain to see when you actually read the comics.

Homelander actually feels disgusted with himself when he does bad things. And he only does them because he's been led to believe he was horrible without actually having done any of the shit he's blackmailed for in the photos and videos. Including what happened to Becky.

If it's not clear. It was Black Noir, a clone of Homelander, who put on his costume, did those terrible things and enjoyed them, and then took pictures and videos to frame Homelander. Noir was the one to rape Becky, but Homelander got the blame.

And the very few things we actually see Homelander do show us how much revulsion he feels from doing them, to the point where he throws up and has a visceral reaction, like he doesn't actually want to and isn't used to it. Asking himself "what have I done?".

That's far from a spoiler at this point, these comics have been out in full, for several years now. I'm not gonna pull punches or be dishonest about it like some people confessing weird out of context bullshit either.

In contrast.

Butcher kills all of his friends, excuse me. All of the people he used and lied to and made believe he was actually their friend, with no remorse or second thought. Or at least tries to.

Kimiko. Frenchie. MM. Even Vas (Love Sausage). All of them die by Billy's hands. For no other reason beyond.

"They're supes."

Despite the fact that this is after he discovered he was wrong about Homelander the whole fucking time.

Down to trying to kill MM's momma. Down to killing Janine's fucking mother in front of her so that she witnesses it. And then makes sure MM knows that for Billy, he "ain't got no mates".

Hughie is the only one to survive because after killing the others, Butcher threatens to kill Starlight and says he won't stop unless Hughie stops him.

There's no question here. Butcher was always the bigger monster. He just didn't have the power to be as bad as Homelander could be. Potentially.

Potentially. And that is a huge fucking key word.

Barring the fact that Homelander never actually met that potential or even wanted it. Noir was the actual monster, using Billy to confuse him into believing he had, so he would try. Just so the clone could swoop in kill him.

Imagine that.

And there are still people deranged enough to think there's any kind of contest on who's worse between Billy and Homelander?

Fuck's sake, this guy immediately kills a fucking premie baby instead of trying to pacify it because it's terrified out of its mind and has powers it can't control. With a lamp.

I love the show, I love the portrayals and the jobs done by the actors. I think it does a great job touching on the important topics and themes in the comics while connecting it to current events. I do hope it has a different ending. But one thing's clear.

While the characters are fundamentally the same at their cores. They made Billy softer and sweeter while they made Homelander harder and more ruthless in order to make the dynamic more mainstream and less controversial. Which is honestly a bit disappointing.

It also makes me a little worried because if they don't find a way to navigate that well, it may mean they've messed up the finish line before we could ever reach it. They could definitely go for something more comic accurate or even include Billy killing Ryan and just not caring anymore as per typical Butcher fashion, but given that they've already chickened out on some of the more intense stuff, I can't say it's high in the hopes factor.

And a happy ending doesn't exactly feel appropriate either.

But who knows, maybe the set up is there specifically to make everything hurt that much more in the end if or when Billy betrays everyone.

And this is coming from someone who is ecstatic to see Homelander go on a chaotic rampage of blood, death, and destruction. Bring it the fuck on you goddamn chaos cockteases.

But yeah, no. It's no contest. Billy is a far worse character than Homelander in the comics, and he has the potential to get a lot worse in the show. He's not there yet, but it's pretty clear he actively wants to be and it's grating him that he isn't yet.

Guess it'll be interesting to see if that comes to fruition or if there's even some crazy twist that shows us Homelander isn't as bad as people think.

[otomeblcass]

Nu:Carnival Character Headcanons:

⚛》》》Favorite Wines《《《��

~Quick note~ My entire week has consisted of me making this list that no one ever asked for, or the probably ever thought about. For some further context, I work as a wine specialist at a giant liquor store, and I have way too much time on my hands where I read a lot about wine and sake. I've added images of one of my favorite wine references, Wine Folly, and highly recommend their website and books if you're curious about wine. Without further a do, if you don't mind a long post, I have combined some of my obsessions: Nu:Carnival and what wines I think suit each character.

Eiden:

Port, like all the way, he wants something sweet and Hella strong. Considered a fortified wine, put simply a wine that has been given additional alcohol, Port comes in many styles, but most are sweet. Eiden specifically loves the chocolate and nutty flavors that these wines have. Also this wine can be a hit or miss for people, so Eiden gets a great laugh out of seeing others' reactions to his favorite wine. Give this baby a bottle of Port and he can talk for hours on end about the crazy stories he’s collected after some wild nights with this wine.

Petite Sirah, Aster would want a wine that is very full in body (aka something that really coats the mouth, similar to blood) and powerful bold flavors, he’s an extremely experienced wine connoisseur, or “wine snob” as Morvay would say, but regardless Aster knows his wines. He loves showing off his personal cellar, explaining the areas they come from, and he especially enjoys bragging about the cost of the wines he’s collected. 

Aster:

It’s taken Morvay quite some time to get into wine. For many years he’s been firm in his statement that he doesn’t like wine like that shitty-little-vampire does. Most of the red wines Aster has made him try are far too bitter, and the white wines are sour as hell. He’s finally realized dessert styled wines exist, such as Muscat of Alexandria, and can be caught sometimes at night sipping this wine with some biscotti as a treat.

Morvay:

Yakumo at first glance comes across as someone who would not be into a “dry red wine” so it’s really interesting to think that his favorite wine would be a Malbec. There has been many occasions where he was served a much sweeter wine than he would personally like, but obviously it’s Yakumo, poor baby is too nervous to let someone know they got his order wrong. Much like Eiden’s favorite wine Port, Malbec has similar rich dark fruit flavors and a smooth chocolatey finish, these wines are a lot dryer in comparison, but not too bitter. It is a wonderful balance for the precious chef Yakumo. (This is one of my favorites too, let's go Yakumo bb)

Yakumo:

Vidal Blanc is not only a bougie sounding wine, but it goes exceptionally well with fresh fruits and desserts. This wine is an elegant off-dry style white wine that can be used to flaunt floral and fruity flavors without being too sweet or childish. As we know Edmond has his sweet tooth, so he would really enjoy the Ice wine style this grape can be used to make. Ice wines are as sweet as dessert wines can go and they take a lot of time and effort to make just a small amount. It’s a perfect pairing for our perfectionist and hardworking captain.

Edmond:

Every winemaking area has established a sparkling wine (I’m somewhat imagining what wines would correspond to the different Klein regions) Olivine is very curious to try anything new, so when traveling and discussing things with nobles he has grown very fond of a particular sparkling wine, Prosecco. He always has gravitated towards a gentle sweetness and slightly acidic flavors and this wine has a perfect balance. As per Eiden’s recommendation, Olivine has discovered this wine makes amazing cocktails such as mimosas, so every now and then Olivine enjoys making those for a relaxing brunch with the clan members. 

Olivine:

An interesting thing we've learned about Quincy during this current Rainy Season event is that his favorite foods include honey, jerky, and dried fish, very natural and raw focused foods that absolutely suit him. A unique wine that has a unique flavor profile of earthy fruits, herbs, and meat is one called Pinotage. Quincy, much like all our wood territory babes, is highly skilled in the winemaking trade. Pinotage is a wine that is very challenging to produce and Quincy has practically mastered it. So much so Quincy doesn’t really drink the wine, but prefers to keep it stored away. He’s positive that the right time will come to enjoy this wine, perhaps with a special individual, right when it’s aging duration has peaked. 

Quincy:

Umeshu or Japanese Plum wine, this is a tricky one because it technically is fermented ume fruit with the addition of distilled alcohol, aka this is a liqueur not a wine at all. Kuya is known for being a trickster though, so it’s a perfect match for him. Umeshu can be made at home, though it does take a lot of time to infuse, it makes the occasions when Kuya drinks this a real treat. The flavors of Umeshu are a mix of sweet and sour fruits like plums or apricots with a lingering alcohol burn. Kuya takes a lot of pride in homemade Umeshu and will lure others (Eiden) into drinking this delicious and sneakily strong beverage with him. (Another personal favorite of mine ♡)

Kuya:

Favorable of all things delicious and mostly edible, Garu and Karu are foodies willing to try anything at least once. They’re super new to trying alcoholic drinks and can’t really handle the smell and taste of something with a strong alcohol content. Concord is a classic beginner wine and it has a very distinguishable grape flavor, let’s think like a traditional grape juice or jelly. Depending on how it’s made, this wine can range from non-alcoholic all the way to higher percentages, Garu and Karu are big fans of having this sweet wine with snacks. Who knew that a wolf yokai would be obsessed with concord grape wine with a pb&j sandwich!

Garu & Karu:

He really enjoys the sweet and lightly sparkling version of this grape varietal, Moscato D’Asti. They have a full assortment of fruit aromas and flavors like peaches and honey, and they have a low ABV making them super easy to drink. Blade describes this wine as “Cute Juice” hence that’s his first response to describing the effervescence. He’s an even bigger fan of being able to use his e-droid abilities to analyze the many fruit flavors in this wine and he’s always excited to share the flavors whenever his darling is ready to try them. *wink wink*

Blade:

A great leader must also know great wines, and it seems super likely that Soleria would make bright red fruit focused wines with lots of herbs and spices. Sangiovese is an extremely versatile grape that can be blended and aged into numerous wine styles; it goes even better with savory and spiced foods. Dante is very intelligent when it comes to wine and is even more impressive when he guides others through a proper wine tasting. Even though Dante has a fierce way of showing it, deep down he really just wants others to appreciate wine the way he does.

Dante:

Rei really enjoys all of the genetic mutations of the Pinot Noir grape, like Pinot Gris or Pinot Blanc, coming from a scientific perspective. More often than not though, the complex red wine Pinot Noir is his favorite to consume, especially during his late night studies and experimentations. Depending on where this wine is grown the flavors can be very misconstrued, quite often it is thought to be a fruity and slightly sweet, but it takes people by surprise by being tart and dry. Rei really likes a lighter bodied red wine that has a slight bite of sassy acidity just like him. 

Rei:

Thank you for reading! I spent way too long thinking about and writing this. I'd love to know what others think and what your favorite wine is if you have one! I also just realized I never thought of wines for Rin or Huey, but I really am not super sure what I'd pick for them.

[lennjamin-o7]

I'm not dead, I swear. To Be Truly Free just had a little bit of a break.

To cut to the chase, I plan on updating TBTF this upcoming Sunday (April 2).

The reason it is so late is two fold:

1) I have had a lot of good things happen and I haven't had much time. My best friend is getting married and we did her Bachelorette Party. I got a tattoo on my arm that made it so I couldn't type for a while. And some other things.

2) I burned myself a bit on rewriting Sweeter than honey, oops. I recognized I was gonna burn out if I tried to focus too much on writing, so I let myself have a little bit of down time. Just until writing stopped feeling like an obligation. Which it no longer does! Which is great, because I think y'all are going to lose your minds with this one.

All that to say, Sunday Sunday Sunday! I am going to put an out of context spoiler under this read more.

[checkoutmybookshelf]

Re-reading The Fellowship of the Ring for the First Time in Fifteen Years

Ok, so, as we move further into this book, I kind of don't understand why they didn't click with me when I read them at seventeen. I mean, I was DEEEEEEEEEEEP into the Star Wars EU at that point, so maybe it was just genre and writing style whiplash. That said though, I am very much enjoying myself this time around. Let's talk "Three is Company.

So my four key reactions to this chapter were, in the order they arose,

Frodo is the single most relatable hobbit ever. His whole "To tell the truth, he was very reluctant to start, now that it had come to the point" thing is just like...I don't care who you are or when you are, you have felt that at some point in your life. Like...yeah, that hobbit needs a hug and a swift kick in the ass to get him moving.

WHAT THE ACTUAL TITS IS TOLKIEN'S BEEF WITH LOBELIA SACKVILLE-BAGGINS!?!?!? Like yes, she is a deeply unpleasant hobbit, but like...Frodo does not offer her any tea and leaves her the washing up, and frankly that kind of seems unnecessary? Like why is Tolkien a dick to Lobelias?

I had forgotten that Tolkien leaned on characterizations of elves that swing from near-childlike delight and wonder and bluntness ("...and hobbits are so dull," anyone??? Like I was literally raised with better manners than this) to absolute solemnity and wisdom. What I'm saying is that Gildor and his buddies gave me whiplash while Sam was getting starry-eyed.

WHY THE HELL HAS NOBODY TOLD THIS HOBBIT ANYTHING??? Literally they have almost been nabbed by black riders THREE DANG TIMES, and they're still basically in the heart of the Shire. Someone needs to fill these guys in, and frankly I think in Gandalf's oft-remarked-upon absence, then Gildor should probably step up and--as Frodo rightly fucking says--fill in some of the gaps because the vague warnings and ominous allusions are objectively worse than just knowing what is happening.

So with the key reactions sorted, let's walk it back a little and chat through this chapter. I--like every other nerd who existed on the planet in the 2000s--have seen the Peter Jackson film adaptations. I was also tangentially aware that there was a LOT of time compression in those movies, but uh...reading the book is a whole other level of understanding that. There are gaps of literal months and years between "oopsie poopsie, it's the One Ring" and "hey, you probably need to leave the Shire" and "OK FINE, WE'RE GOING." And even once Frodo, Sam, and Pippin get their asses on the road, they're like...meandering. Hanging out. Enjoying the walk.

What I'm saying is, the sense of urgency is utterly nonexistent.

Which is not a judgement, I actually enjoyed the pacing and watching our little hobbit bois be happy hobbit bois, but the feet-nailed-to-the-floor practical side of me was in a screaming match with the -delightedly-kicking-her-feet side of me the entire time I was reading this chapter. Like...guys. The Enemy is LITERALLY ON YOUR DOORSTEP. THEY ALMOST GOT YOU. MAYBE HAUL ASS A BIT??? BUY YOURSELVES SOME TIME AND SPACE???

I'm pretty sure that running into Gildor and his buddies saved their hobbity butts.

Just before we get into Gildor and the company of elves though, I want to take a brief second to just...acknowledge the goddamn WHISPLASH I got when the song movie Pippin sings over Denethor just destroying a roast chicken and cherry tomatoes popped up this early in the trilogy. It's a walking song and it's very hobbity, and I love both versions (book and movie) but for DEEPLY different reasons. The book version is sweeter, a little cheekier, and I imagine it paces because it is indeed a walking song, meant to keep those feet moving. It also is very much Pippin going "bed please!" which is deeply relatable. The movie makes it way weightier, more melancholy. And in the film context, it's also tragic. The shift from "away shall fade" to "all shall fade" is doing a TON of heavy lifting too. I don't have much else about that, really, because in terms of adaptation, that's not so much an adaptation as a recontextualization. And...I like both? Both are good? They're different, and I'm not gonna get bogged down in judging differences, I'm just going to enjoy both versions.

Back to the elves.

Frodo has some social cache with them, given his relationship to Bilbo and his grasp of the elven language, however small. Frodo also goes in for the traditional polite greetings and exchanges, which is all great. That said...

Thank christ that Pippin has no chill, because if he hadn't burst in and gone, "Tell us about the Black Riders," we'd have been doing social graces for literally another few pages. And I'm willing to bet that Frodo might not have actually gotten there, and then the three would not have been taken under the elves' wing, which again, I'm pretty sure saved their halfling asses. So thank goodness for Pippin just cutting through the bullshit and getting the plot moving a little. And he is amply rewarded with just hella good food and a good night's sleep, so all is right in his little hobbit heart.

I might love Pippin. Like, disproportionately.

What I did not love was Gildor. Gildor and his "Then I think it is not for me to say more - lest terror should keep you from your journey," and his "advice is a dangerous gift," and his "is it not enough to know that they are servants of the enemy?" and his "courage is found in unlikely places."

Gildor. My dude. Sweetie, honey, friend. YOU ARE NOT HELPING HERE WITH THE PHILOSOPHIZING AND THE PASSING OF THE BUCK. This is actually how you know Tolkien was a tried and true academic, because you can't get a straight answer to a direct question without being taken through a masterclass in philosophy first.

Like, I'm so happy for you and your education and your erudition, but for fucks sake, if I asked you if the sky was blue, we'd be debating what "blue" is for hours over tea when what I needed was a straight answer so I could plan my day. (I would be a terrible elf, you guys. Just absolutely terrible.)

The best I can say about Gildor is that he names Frodo an Elf-Friend, which I'm willing to bet is going to be beneficial down the road. He also made sure that Frodo, Sam, and Pippin were safe that night, and they got fed. So I guess that's a win.

Overall a fun chapter, and I'm excited to finally catch up with Merry and start planning to bail on the Shire in the next chapter!

[thelordofgifs]

@butterflies-and-fishermen I was so touched by your tags on the latest instalment of the fairest stars (the AU bullet point fic “Beren and Lúthien steal two Silmarils and things snowball” I’ve been posting to tumblr in irregular instalments, for people who missed it) that I thought I’d make a separate post to respond to them here, I hope that’s ok!

#but! But!#Celegorm may be doomed according to Oath rules#but this can't just be a tragedy#(bawling my eyes out)#if the Oath turns you into the worst version of yourself and takes what good you have left#then Celegorm died as a hunter of evil#not a predator of the weak#he gave his life for a worthy cause#for his friend#the Oath too was sacrificed#instead of being the altar on which everything was sacrificed#They will meet again#But even hound and hunter battling Carcharoth together for eternity in the void is a sweeter ending

You’re so right!! Killing Celegorm felt a bit cruel but ultimately I thought it was a much kinder ending for him than his canonical one. I wasn’t even intending to have him reunite with Huan initially (he wasn’t supposed to BE in the fic originally, but he insisted); but when I realised I could actually have something of a reconciliation with Huan for him, I couldn’t resist letting him die fighting evil. As a hunter of evil specifically (I’m so glad you used that phrase!), which calls back to his old role as one of Oromë’s following. (Yes, I totally did that intentionally, it wasn’t an accidental thing which ended up turning out neat, no not at all, why do you ask?)

But what I really wanted to address here was the Oath, and whether it really does “turn you into the worst version of yourself, and strip away the best thing you have left”. This is Maedhros’ line, which Maglor has also echoed in his conversation with Lúthien – importantly, though, Maglor added that he wasn’t sure whether or not he believed it. Do I, the author? Is that how the Oath works? That’s something I haven’t fully decided yet (although it is a fun idea to meta about, there’s been great discourse about the Oath recently) and probably shouldn’t reveal anyway because of spoilers. But I wonder how clearly it’s come across that the Maedhros of TFS wow look it has an ACRONYM it’s all grown up is… not always mentally in the best place. It’s not nearly as bad as it gets in canon – this is pre-Nirnaeth! But he still has so much Angband-related trauma, being chained up by Thingol was incredibly triggering for him, he’s very upset by his little brothers’ terrible deeds in Nargothrond, and he spent like five parts convinced he wouldn’t be able to hold a Silmaril – baselessly, as it turned out. Maedhros is very afraid of himself, and of the Oath. So take that line of his with a pinch of salt! The Oath might have turned Celegorm into the worst version of himself, and taken his best thing (his dog), but he both redeemed himself a little and got to reunite with Huan. Maedhros, for his part, has so far managed to avoid doing anything deeply terrible, and his own “best thing” (Maglor) hasn’t died.

As for Celegorm being doomed according to Oath rules – I’m unsure how relevant that will end up being in TFS, since I haven’t planned that far ahead (or at all lol). But after quite a few months of thinking, I came across the most beautiful line in this beautiful fic by @thearrogantemu: “Everlasting Darkness! As if darkness were a thing that could last!”

… which sums up my feelings better than I ever could.

OKAY I now need to apologise to: both the people I tagged completely unprompted in this rambly self-indulgent navel-gazing post about my own fic; my followers who assuredly did not ask for this pseudo-dvd commentary; readers of TFS who haven’t caught up on the last part and are now spoiled; and anyone who hasn’t read TFS and has no idea what’s going on here (quite intrigued by what you make of it with no context, though).

[dustedmagazine]

Madhuvanti Pal — The Holy Mother: Madhuvanti Pal Plays the Rudra Veena (Sublime Frequencies)

The rudra veena is a South Asian string instrument that differs from the better-known sitar in being historically earlier and in aspects of its construction (e.g., fixed vs. movable frets), but, to the untrained ear, the shimmering tones are similar. In the hands of Madhuvanti Pal, the rudra veena sings, hums, cries and purrs, creating complex layers of sound that evolve slowly and with a kind of inevitability that, for those outside the tradition, makes the listening experience something like hearing a vividly told story in an unknown but wonderfully melodious language.

In a review earlier this year of a recording by the Hindustani artist Debashish Bhattacharya, I acknowledged that I have no understanding of the place of the music in South Asian culture and that my assessment of it is entirely aesthetic, and I repeat that caveat here. Sublime Frequencies is marketing The Holy Mother to English speakers in this country, so the people who write for and read Dusted and, like me, are ignorant of the cultural context, are presumably among the target audience. And it is for them (rather than those who know the culture) that this review is intended.

This recording consists of two compositions of 40 to 50 minutes in length. Each is divided into two parts, which is a necessity for the vinyl, but the fade in and out is a bit distracting for the digital version. In any case, the scope of the compositions allows for the long-range development of musical ideas. I say “compositions” with some caution since the liner notes do not indicate how much improvisation is involved or how traditional Pal’s approach is.

The first composition, “Todi,” begins, as might be expected, with a drone, specifically, a mid-range drone. Around it, higher- and lower-pitched tones emerge and fade. The nature of the instrument is such that there is no truly empty space, but, as on many stringed instruments, various voices are identifiable. The notes are often extended, as if with a slide, though the images of her show Pal playing with only her fingers. The tempo is fairly slow and deliberate until around the halfway point (for which reason the fade in and out is especially unfortunate), when the pace and intricacy of the phrasing increase, making for a thrilling moment. The tempo then abates a bit until the last five minutes, when the lower-pitched voice becomes increasingly insistent only to yield to the higher-pitched voice before all fades away but the drone.

The mood and feeling of “Bhairavi” are similar to “Todi,” but the lower-pitched voice remains dominant through most of the first half, and the higher-pitched voice seems sweeter. Again, there is a notable quickening of the pace near the midpoint and a transitional moment about three-quarters of the way through. This time, the higher-pitched voice comes to dominate in effortless displays of great dexterity by Pal as single notes combine and contrast with stabbing strums. Once more, resolution arrives in the final minutes as the voices switch off, and the ending delivers the dynamics of an anthem.

Pal takes listeners willing to devote their attention to her playing on two thrilling journeys here, though I suppose the music would also make for a pleasant background. Notably, she is a music educator and builder of instruments and, apparently, a pioneer in terms of being a woman performer on the instrument. Those of us on the outside looking in will have no doubt of her mastery of the rudra veena, and, though the relationship of the music to the Holy Mother remains undefined, its spiritual power seems to transcend cultural boundaries.

Jim Marks