#out of context that is the funniest damn tag

[eggrolls-and-fandoms]

The way that Jimmy didn’t even try to stop it, though. The way the realization hit him immediately, and the way he was just so resigned. He didn’t go for his water bucket, or his enderpearls, he didn’t shout anything, he didn’t look around and flail desperately. He just stared in disbelief at the ground coming up to swallow him whole. He was just so resigned, so done, he just didn’t even try to prevent what he knew (or thought) was inevitable. He’s the canary. Of course he dies first. And there’s nothing he can do about it, so why even try?

[there-must-be-a-lock]

@stunudo sent me an ask a week or two ago challenging me to share my five favorite lines that I’ve ever written, so here goes!

To be fair, a lot of these are missing something without context; most of my favorite lines are the ones that call back to other moments in the fic and tie together imagery. BUT. Here.

From A Muscle the Size of Your Fist — this is a theme that runs through the whole story, and there are places where I think I captured parts of it more elegantly, but this is where it’s said most concisely:

“Punk has always been about the outcasts, the queer kids and the misfits and the marginalized, the black sheep… everybody who feels like they’re alone. Everybody who feels powerless.” Steve’s voice rings out, fills the space like a living presence, and Bucky gets chills when he continues: “But you’re not alone, and you never were. Look around you. Next time you feel like you’re alone, next time you feel like giving up, I want you to listen to this song and remember that there are people out there who are willing to fight for you. We’ll fight for you until you’re strong enough to stand up and join in. We’ll love you until you learn how to love yourself.”

From If It’s A Highway:

Jesus always seems so damn tired, up there on his cross, with his arms spread wide as if to welcome death, and maybe Bucky can relate. If he could just sleep for three days — doesn’t sound so bad, when he thinks about it like that. Three days isn’t that long.

He wonders whether Jesus knew what was coming. Whether he was surprised to find himself alive again. Whether he woke alone in the dark and screamed until his lungs gave out, or broke his knuckles beating his fists against the stone.

Also from Highway:

Bucky used to have an empty, sterile cage in his chest and an endless stygian labyrinth of caves in his skull, and as long as he didn’t look too close, he could ignore the buried remains of past lives under his skin. The darkness didn’t bother him until the walls started to crumble and let in the light.

Every tiny human act has been a hairline crack in his icy shell. Every moment of empathy and desire, gentle touch and sharp lust, coffee and cigarettes and food and sex; pebbles dropped in wells and flashlights shone down mineshafts, tremors that shook the foundations, coffin lids splintering. Miniscule fissures, microscopic landslides.

Just for the sake of switching up the vibe, here’s The One With The Pottery Barn Couch — probably the funniest fic I’ve ever written, and there were other lines I could’ve picked out, too, but I’m a big fan of this one:

When Dick wakes up, he’s being carried. He’s being cradled to a really absurdly muscled chest that’s covered in leather and smells like explosions, and carried in one goddamn arm, like Paris Hilton would carry her fucking chihuahua.

…

Maybe it’d be nice to be a rich lady’s spoiled chihuahua, Dick thinks, and then, holy painkillers, Batman, and then he is out for the count.

It was ridiculously difficult to choose this last one, not gonna lie. I re read this fic the other day and I really love this — it does tie into the rest (and, like, into canon) so YMMV, but. From Lost My Fear of Falling:

It took them both years to get here, to learn to let themselves be loved without doubting it, without looking down waiting for the self-fulfilling prophecy of an inevitable stumble. It was worth the work. There’s no doubt in his mind. But he misses the days when he never thought twice about all the open space under that tightrope.

Dick lets the tears come. Lets himself mourn the kid who thought love was as easy as gravity, and who’d never had any reason to be afraid of falling.

Tagging — @kangofu-cb @drgrlfriend @bittercape @sammialex @oliocelottafanfics you WILL compliment yourselves dammit! 🖤

[appelsiinilight]

Finally got around to binging Centaurworld season 2;

so he like literally just started beef with his own damn self for no reason at all, like LITERALLY ASDFGHJKASDFGH, FUNNIEST tragic villain backstory of ALL time

like the whole thing with the elk half was indeed very fucked, but he Literally Just Decided To Do That To Himself For No Reason, like you can’t even do the whole “sure [villain] did bad things, but they were traumatized by [someone more evil]!” thing ‘cause HE DID THATTTTT

and the split itself took place IMMEDIATELY after he first cut off his antlers which the crush he did it for FLIRTED WITH HIM ABOUT LIKING THEMMMMM

and a few scenes later HE HIMSELF goes “hey that was kinda a very drastic and entirely unnecessary measure”

also the fact that he was a dickhead before any sort of sad tragic backstory at all occurred ASDFGHJKASDFGHJK it may be tempting to slip into the line of thought that he split into the good (elk) and the bad (guy) personalities of the og elktaur, since the elk ends up such a poor little mewmew, but i think it is pretty clear textually that they were exactly the same at the start, and whichever one ended up with the human body would’ve doubled down on the oh-god-what-the-fuck personality trait sdfghjkldfghjk

also, in the context of the show, it kinda looks a lot like the general strove to fuck over the elk not so much out of self-loathing or anything even subtextually like that, but because he (all of him - the elktaur, and the people he split into) is just not into treating people well, TO THE DEGREE that even a person who used to be His Actual Self stopped mattering to the him that had the upper hand and to whom that person’s existence was inconvenient

edit: ok i browsed the tag a little and i’m seeing some fantasy racism angst ascribed to the elktaur, and like, yeah, the show did insert a few “elktaur experiences a microaggression” moments, BUT, ASDFGHJKL, this is one of those “fantasy racism catastrophically fails as a racism metaphor” moments because unlike in real life, citizens of the Centaurworld do act fucking insane all the time compared to humans. Like, that’s the premise of the show: Normal Horse Enters Fucking Insane World. You can’t just pull a “but acting like centaurs are different is basically bigotry and it drove the elktaur into the deepest pits of self-loathing :)” 9/10ths into the “look at the fucking insane creatures” show ASDFGHJKASDFGHJK

like i’m with the humans of the Centaurworld flashbacks on this one, if I existed in that universe I wouldn’t touch the in-universe centaurworld with a 10 foot pole because I barely suffered through watching these characters. HORSE barely suffered through interacting with them through season 1!!!

Textually, elktaur just acts weirdly human compared to Literally Every Single Other Centaur ASDFGHJKASDFGHJ

basically it does not appear that Centaurworld (the show) executed any real themes, at least where the elktaur and his iterations are concerned, but that’s not a criticism (unless the writers did actually try to do some themes and fucked up so bad, in which case, LMAO) - the story doesn’t have to have them to be very fun. having a very fucked up guy just start shit for no thematically cohesive reason is still a very fun story to experience asdfghjksdfghj

[watmalik]

Oversharing on the internet

Thank you @ambiguouspenny​ for the tag!! <3

1. Are you named after anyone?

Ohhh yes. My first name is literally the female version of my dad and brother’s name… Patricio/Patrick. My middle name is after my Abuela (dad’s side) bc she died a couple of months before I was born.

2. When was the last time you cried?

HA! I’m actually proud of this one *clears throat* ever since the 911 Lone Star finale...for now.

3. Do you have kids?

I’m 22 almost 23, so my only child has four legs and lives in my apt rent free. I’m also undecided about having them in general (bio or adopted)? I have a autoimmune disease that makes it harder for me to have them and I also had surgery when I was 14… lets say I have 1/3 of my left ovary chopped off bc of a random health issue I had as a kid and now I have a faint smiley face on my bikini line :) talk about oversharing.

4. Do you use sarcasm a lot?

*Takes sunglasses off* Babes, I invented sarcasm. It’s the fourth language I’m fluent in… its a culture thing.

5. What sports have you played/do you play?

Fútbol and futsal. Loved them. Stopped when I got into college but I still participated in intramural games in my sorority/club. I also played basketball in middle school for a bit, but ultimately gave it up bc there wasn't really a girl’s team in my school.

6. What's the first thing you notice about people?

Their personality so I don't make them angry on purpose. I’m a notorious people pleaser, and I hate confrontation when it comes to myself, so I need you to like me…. LIKE ME 

7. What's your eye colour?

I have dark, brown cow eyes

8. Scary movies or happy endings?

Scary movies bc I cry when movies have happy endings and I don't like tearing up at the movies. Emotions? me? pfttt

9. Any special talents?

I can meow like an actual cat, and put my feet at the back of my head, you know the usual.

10. Where were you born?

El Caribe 😎

11. What are your hobbies?

Singing, drawing, playing the ukulele

12: Do you have any pets?

My 3 year old cat, harry :)

13. How tall are you?

I’m Jennifer Love Hewitt, inches tall.

14. Favourite subject in school?

P.E and Maths. Mind you, I hate Maths with a great passion, but I was in group B (When you reached the 6th grade, they will separate the two form groups of your year group, in my school there was two class groups per year, and they will separate students in A and B group depending on how well you were doing in that specific subject). B group was always the funniest class to be in. I was usually an A group type of student but I always made sure I was in B group for at least a few of my classes and in Maths? It was inevitable. 

Anyways, I sat in the middle of the most chaotic pair of people, this dude (a twin) who had a crush on me at the time and this volleyball player who I once had a fall out with. For context, back home I went to a small British school, pre-k––12th grade, and from the 6th grade until I left on 10th grade, I always sat with them bc I will always LAUGH MY ASS OFF every damn class period. Our teacher was this 24 year old guy from Scotland and he was fine with us being together because we got good grades and did the work. I like looking back at this because, we weren't friends, we didn't hang out or talked after class much, but we always sat together because it brought us joy. 

Oddly enough I will always miss the poorly drawn dicks at the last page of my maths notebook, the stupid jokes, and the dumb noises they will make on purpose 😂

15. Dream job

 To be an immigration lawyer and help other minorities. I just graduated from college, so I’m taking a much needed year off and then law school here I come!

And my “You probs already did this, and def don't do it again if you have, but I’m still tagging you because its 2am” tag goes to: @noxsoulmate​ @itsneonbright​ @tailoredshirt​ @anchor-bird-94​ @taralaurel​ @tylerkennedys​ @catanisspicy​ and anyone else who wants to do this :)

[azumasoroshi]

im like right at the part in dgs 2-5 right before the rEaL tRuth about the professor case is revealed and whatever shit went on between klint and genshin and i dont give a fuck at this point so i unmuted the klint van zieks tag after like a year and started scrolling through all his posts to find like cool fanart and memes and stuff

and i had NO idea that i was going to come across so much klint/genshin content aHUAHFKJHSKJFHS

like that’s the real twist of 2-5 not that genshin actually was the real killer or klint was the real killer (i still dunno who it actually was) or herlock and mikotoba were partners or iris is barok’s niece, but actually that genshin and klint were FUCKING

this is the funniest shit to me it’s like the one thing i didnt get spoiled until now, everything else was fair game

barok and kazuma being worsties and genshin and klint looking at them from the afterlike and klint’s like damn they should have a sword fight that would fix their relationship and genshin’s like right??????

I can deduce that genshin probably killed klint in an angsty homoerotic battle to the death just from fanart and stuff and that is like S tier ship material so i ship it even though i barely know either of them why not ill find out the context next week from jelloapocalypse

[terramythos]

TerraMythos 2022 Reading Challenge - Book 11 of 26

Title: The Last Sun (The Tarot Sequence #1) (2018) ***REREAD***

Author: K. D. Edwards 

Genre/Tags: Fantasy, Urban Fantasy,  First-Person, Unreliable Narrator, LGBT Protagonist 

Rating: 8/10 

Date Began: 05/28/2022

Date Finished: 06/01/2022

Rune Saint John and his mind-linked Companion Brand are the only survivors of the fallen Sun Court, one of the ruling Arcana families of New Atlantis. Decades after enduring a terrible assault, Rune lives in obscurity with Brand, eking out a living performing odd jobs for the city’s denizens. When former benefactor Lord Tower hires Rune and Brand to investigate the disappearance of Addam, a scion from the Justice Court, it seems like a straightforward job. 

But the perpetrators responsible have grander plans than kidnapping; they summon an ancient evil to accomplish their goals. Such a creature could destroy the city if it gains full power. When it takes a specific interest in Rune, he and his allies have to find a way to defy the odds and survive.

Damn my eyes if I’d triggered a prophecy. I already had enough of those in my life.

Review, content warnings, and minor book/series spoilers below the cut.

Content warnings: Depicted-- Abuse, child abuse, graphic violence, gore, death, animal death, graphic sexual content, slavery, recreational drug use, fatphobia (kinda), ableism, mind control, non-consensual drugging, self-harm, PTSD, sexual assault, brief but graphic descriptions of past r*pe and torture, suicidal ideation, blackmail. Mentioned—Mass death, p*dophilia, b*stiality, suicide, cultural appropriation, disordered eating, underage drinking, homophobia, colonialism, warfare.

The Last Sun is a trip to reread after finishing The Hourglass Throne. I underestimated SO MUCH about this first entry in The Tarot Sequence. There’s a staggering amount of well-crafted, hidden foreshadowing; it’s unlikely you’ll catch even a fraction of it on a first pass. Turns out some of my criticisms were not only completely intentional, but not even problems at all! That being said, there’s still definite weaknesses— which are more noticeable after the improvements in subsequent books. I’ll go over the good and the meh while keeping spoilers to a minimum.

I’m always a sucker for early foreshadowing that doesn’t pay off until much later. This shows a level of forethought and intent many stories lack. It’s clear that the three main twists of The Hourglass Throne were planned from the start based on the level of setup in this book. Everything from general hints, to lines you will ONLY understand on a reread (and are honestly rude), to Very Deliberate Wording that plays on the reader’s assumptions in order to conceal the twist. That last example is my favorite, because I can REMEMBER what I thought when I read specific lines… and now I know what they actually meant. It’s sneaky and deceptive but doesn’t outright lie to the reader. And it’s awesome.

It’s safe to say Ciaran’s my favorite supporting character at this point. I remember feeling ambivalent at best about him on the first read. He’s weirdly competent and helpful, but Rune assumes he’s just a self-interested prick until the end. It seemed odd to me that he’s Definitely A Side Character yet he just… keeps showing up to help. This is all incredibly funny now. Ciaran has so many snarky comments that don’t hit that way on a first read; basically all of his dialogue and actions read different with later context. It’s great; I’m glad Ciaran’s secretly the funniest character in the series.

Something I perceived as a weakness on the first read was how temperamental and dramatic Rune comes off in certain scenes. For example, there’s a part where Rune figures out Brand has a death prophecy surrounding him. If Brand accompanies Rune to Farstryke during the story, he’s guaranteed to die. Once the shock wears off, Rune freaks out, consumed by guilt that he almost unintentionally killed Brand. On a first read, this seems like an extreme reaction; he got plenty of warning about it! No harm done! Being upset is understandable, but why the guilt spiral? Why an entire (realistically written) panic attack? On a post-Hourglass Throne reread, though? Hooooly shit, no fucking wonder he reacted like that. If anything, Rune shows a remarkable level of composure.

Beyond new revelations, there’s also setup for things that haven’t paid off in the main series yet. Even on a reread I wonder if I’m still missing hidden details. Mystery Woman makes a brief appearance in this book, and the ending of The Hourglass Throne plays her up a lot. I have to imagine she’s part of the next arc. There’s also multiple references to waves and floods from the seer characters (Quinn and Ciaran), and based on the prophecy Lord Hermit drops at the end of book three, the connection’s hard to ignore. It’ll be interesting to see what setup The Hanged Man has for these ideas (and of course the aforementioned book three twists).

Outside all the extra context/foreshadowing, The Last Sun is an entertaining story. There’s (obviously) a neat tarot motif which ties into the worldbuilding. It’s got great, genuinely funny banter, a personal weakness of mine. The close relationship between Rune and Brand gets so much attention and development that it’s hard not to feel invested. And there’s several intriguing mysteries this first entry sets up. Even knowing how it pays off, I love that Edwards establishes Rune as an unreliable narrator so early. On its own I wouldn’t call The Last Sun the most amazing urban fantasy I’ve ever read, but there’s a solid foundation for a series, and it’s serviceable for a debut novel. So it’s great to know how much better the next two books are.

That being said, there’s still weaknesses with The Last Sun. Thankfully most get addressed in future entries. The most obvious issue is the repetitive and predictable story structure. The plot’s basically a loop of (1) characters travel somewhere new, and (2) characters get attacked by monsters. Rinse and repeat. There’s very little variation until the ending chapters. I stand by my statement that the first book feels like it’s adapted from a D&D campaign; it gets to the point where the moment Rune & Co travel to a new place, you’re counting the pages until they get attacked by zombies or some other generic fantasy creature. Future books are much better about this. Both The Hanged Man and The Hourglass Throne lean into horror, mystery, and found family elements that aren’t as prominent in The Last Sun. This adds a lot of variety to both stories and makes them much more fun to read, in my opinion.

Another change is related to Rune’s past assault and torture. It’s a foundational, horrific event that changed the trajectory of his life forever. The Last Sun describes what happened in direct, sometimes graphic detail. While this approach is obviously shocking and disturbing, I think future books handle it much better. Starting with The Hanged Man, Edwards steers away from graphic descriptions and instead focuses on Rune’s thoughts and feelings surrounding his trauma. This approach is much more powerful, especially in The Hourglass Throne. Rune’s despair and terror feel so genuine, which makes his moments of triumph and recovery all the more poignant. It feels much more emotional and impactful.

There are miscellaneous details that change dramatically between books. Prose quality in general improves. The Last Sun also has very few women in it outside a secondary antagonist. I suspect that Edwards changed this based on feedback, because The Hanged Man and onward feature many nuanced and compelling female characters (including Lady Death, who’s one of my favorite characters!). The Last Sun DOES set up Mystery Woman, which is something, but we still don’t know her full role in the story.

There’s also some casual ableism that vanishes in subsequent books. I get the sense that some of this is Rune’s character; part of his recurring development is realizing that he’s kind of a prick and becoming a better person. There’s a part where Quinn challenges Rune for treating him like an idiot, and Rune drops the behavior. Nevertheless, I’m glad it’s something Edwards re-thought in future entries, because I definitely don’t miss this aspect of the narrative. It’s not severe or overwhelming, but still enough to be bothersome.

I highly recommend The Tarot Sequence. It’s quickly grown into my favorite ongoing fantasy series. Even if you read The Last Sun and aren’t blown away, trust me when I say The Hanged Man is fantastic. It addresses basically every criticism I have about this first book. The Last Sun also has LOTS of hidden depths to it you simply will not catch on a first read. My main caveat with this series is a decent chunk of it revolves around confronting sexual trauma, which will obviously be triggering to some people. The third book especially is a realistic depiction of PTSD and all that entails. But I would love to talk with more people about this series! If you read it please let me know. I’m excited to reread The Hanged Man and see what feels different now.

[incorrectsb99]

Every main friendship in Brooklyn Nine Nine and why I love them

*i got bored so this is happening now i guess

**this is just my opinion, feel free to tell me yours

***i left out some combos that didn't have enough interactions to actually be a friendship

Jake and Amy: come on, these two are perfect. Love each other more than anything and make sure anyone else on earth knows, and being great relationship role models.

Jake and Rosa: super supportive of each other and trusting, love hanging out together and happy for each other at any given moment.

Jake and Scully: one word - JAKEY

Jake and Hitchcock: always down to do weird shit

Jake and Terry: each other's role model in any area, genuinely care and fangirl with each other all the time.

Jake and Charles: the most caring, interested, adorable friends there are. Actual best friends that challenge toxic masculinity and a daily basis, truly goals.

Jake and Holt: the father like love is everything to them - they love and care for each other no matter how many times they fight. Just *chef's kiss*.

Jake and Gina: a very important reminder that high school besties can stay friends after all these years, and have absolutely no romantic feelings towards each other(!!!)

Amy and Rosa: the sleuth sisters that shows that despite having many differences you can be good friends and have each other's back no matter what. I stan an iconic duo

Amy, Hitchcock and Scully: i just love how they are parts if a lot of peraltiago related stuff lmao

Amy and Terry: having each other's back on precinct stuff, nerding out about their job together and being good friends to laugh with at any given situation.

Amy and Charles: co presidents of "loving Jake peralta" club, care about each other's personal life and being super supportive and respectful.

Amy and Holt: the whole mentoring storyline is amazing, and I love their nerd dynamic and genuine approval and validation.

Amy and Gina: they look like they hate each other or just don't care but secretly the really really care and appreciate their friendship

Rosa, Hitchcock and Scully: just the chair contest. That's it. I love it

Rosa and Terry: how they keep being amazed with each other's qualities and skills (also see: DAMN ROSA) and the mutual "look like they can kill you but are actually a cinnamon roll" vibe

Rosa and Charles: the progress from Charles being in love with Rosa, to realizing it's never gonna happen, to accepting and moving on without hard feelings, to being best friends and trusting and being happy for each other. One of my favorite storylines.

Rosa and Holt: every single thing about them. The gay-bi solidarity, the similarities between them, the care for each other's feelings, the fucking comedy, Wuntch jokes, crying and listening to death metal together. All of it.

Rosa and Gina: being cool and judging other people together, never tell someone you love them or they'll underestimate you, hot messes, tons of similarities, being the one yo make each other laugh, "in another lifetime, you and i would've made a hot ass couple". Fucking DIANETTI man

Hitchcock and Scully: a package deal, truly love each other and just weirdly funny for some reason

Hitchcock, Scully and Gina: the lowkey love-hate dynamic is so hilarious tbh

Terry and Charles: the fathers of the year, so confident but loving, how they love food and love but no more than their children.

Terry and Holt: putting up with the squad but cares about them like family, the black solidarity and being role models to the squad.

Terry and Gina: istg this is one of the funniest duos in tv history, every scene is gold

Charles and Holt: honestly i wish they had more interactions, they have so much potential, tho you can still tell that they care a lot about each other's opinions

Charles and Gina: co-workers to lovers to friends to siblings (very bad out of context lol), the way the are hostile but still really care and will fight you if you insult the other.

Gina and Holt: knowing each other so so good and appreciating each other's personalities despite the fact that they are literally opposites, but still enjoy being petty bitches together

tag your favorite friendship uwu

[daniclaytcn]

quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

title: quiet my fears with the touch of your hand

Summary: “In that warehouse,” Buck says. “I almost gave up.”

Eddie doesn’t bat an eyelash at his words. “I know,” He says, simply.

Buck isn’t sure why he’s saying this. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to confess this to Eddie, why this is something he needs for him to know. He also doesn’t know why Eddie is being so calm about it.

“I almost stopped fighting,” Buck continues, his voice breaking a little. 

“I know.” Eddie says, again. | Post 4x05: Buck Begins.

ao3 link

a/n: i wrote this when i should have been sleeping so it’s probably incoherent...pls excuse me..

tagging some people who may be interested: @malikjavaddzayn @evaneddie @matan4il @prettyboydiaz @firefighter-diaz  please let me know if you’d like to be added to/removed from my tag list!

Seconds after Buck knocks, the door opens and Eddie is looking at him with an arched eyebrow. "Since when do you knock?" He asks teasingly.

 Buck shrugs wordlessly. The weight of the past couple of days he's had—his parents arriving in town, finding out about Daniel, god, the fire—all had been momentarily forgotten in the time he spent with Maddie after his shift, the relief that came with forgiving her making something that had been unbalanced shift back into place in his heart. However, after leaving her apartment, it had all come crushing down on him again, leaving him shaking and breathless in the aftermath. Before knowing he was doing it, he was taking the turn to Eddie's house instead of his own apartment and now here he was.

 "You're just in time," Eddie gestures for Buck to come in. "Dinner's almost ready."

 "I—I didn't tell you I was coming, though," Buck says, confused. Eddie grins at him.

 "I had a feeling you would." Not waiting for a reply, he turns to go into the living room. "Christopher! Look who's here!"

 Buck is greeted with an armful of Chris when he enters the room and he can't help but laugh, hoisting him into his arms. Pressing his face into Chris' hair and hearing his bright laughter, Buck feels some of the tension drain from his body.

 "Hey, buddy! Hope you don't mind me coming over so unexpectedly."

 Chris giggles as Buck puts him down, as if he's said the funniest thing ever. "Don't be silly, Buck! We always want you around."

 Buck feels his eyes burn with tears inexplicably and he's relieved that Chris chooses that moment to turn around to search for a drawing he wants to show him. Eddie says nothing, instead moving past Buck to leave the room, pressing a warm hand to his shoulder as he passes him.

 Chris takes Buck's hand and tugs on it, leading him to the kitchen. Buck's eyebrows raise at the sight of Eddie pulling a pan out the oven

 "Dad cooked," Chris informs him. Buck chuckles.

 "Maybe I shouldn't have come over," He jokes. Eddie throws a dish towel at him, scowling.

 "It's just mac and cheese," He retorts. "And I'll have you know I've gotten better at cooking over the pandemic. Make yourself useful and set the table."

 Shifting into the usual routine of dinner time at the Diaz household has a comforting familiarity to it, Buck thinks, as he moves around the kitchen, grabbing plates and glasses, knowing where everything is supposed to be without even thinking about it. They sit down at the table to eat, Chris chattering away about his day as Buck listens on, barely suppressing an eye roll when Eddie not-so-subtly heaps two servings onto his plate. God, his best friend can be such a dad sometimes.

 As dinnertime comes to an end, though, Buck can feel the lightness begin to slip away, tension gathering in his shoulders once more and his smiles come less easily, not even Christopher’s cheer being able to bring them out easily. Eddie seems to notice (of course he does) and quickly stands to gather their plates.

 “Chris, I think it’s time you start getting ready for bedtime,” he says and Chris groans dramatically.

 “Dad, can’t I stay up? It’s not even a school night!”

 “Nope,” Eddie hums. “Rules are rules, Chris, you know how it is.”

 Chris groans again but doesn’t argue his point and gets up. “Goodnight, Buck,” he murmurs, and Buck bends down to receive his hug almost automatically, barely registering it. Thankfully, Chris doesn’t seem to notice that anything is amiss and pulling back, grins at him before leaving.

 “Hey,” Buck startles as Eddie taps him on the shoulder and looks up at the barely concealed worry in his friend’s face. “Why don’t you go wait in the living room? I’m gonna go tuck Chris into bed.”

 “It’s late,” Buck mutters. “Maybe I should leave.” He doesn’t want to. It’s almost more than he can stand, right now, the thought of leaving the warmth of Eddie’s house, of Eddie, to go back to his apartment, that has never felt like home the way Eddie and Christopher have. But he doesn’t want to overstay his welcome. He’d once told Maddie that he’s not really a guest in Eddie’s house, but now, with his entire world, with everything he’d ever known about himself turned upside down, he can’t be sure of anything.

 Eddie shakes his head and repeats, a little more firmly. “Wait for me in the living room.”

 Buck goes, helpless but to do as he asks. He looks around at the room as he sits down on the couch, Chris’ homework on the side tables, the video game consoles scattered around it, Eddie’s jacket tossed over a chair—just a few weeks ago, he had been on this couch with Eddie and Christopher, playing video games and teasing Eddie about his newfound fear of technology. Just a few weeks ago, he had been in this same spot, happy and lighthearted with two of his favorite people in the world.

 Just a few weeks ago, he hadn’t felt this overwhelming sense of wrongness and uncertainty, like everything was collapsing around him and he couldn’t do a damn thing about it.

 Eddie returns shortly, sinking down into the couch beside him, his shoulders pressing into Buck’s; solid and grounding. Buck lets out a shaky exhale, ducking his head as he feels his eyes burn with tears again. He doesn’t want Eddie to see him like this, cracked in a hundred places and this close to falling apart. Which doesn’t make sense, he knows, Eddie has been there during some of the worst moments of his life; he was there holding his hand while his leg was being crushed under a firetruck, he had seen him choke on his own blood during that welcome-back party; there was no end to it. But this—this was just too much. Too vulnerable. Too raw, and open and exposed.

 Eddie says nothing, just sitting there, a line of warmth and stability against Buck, waiting for him to open up. And Buck does, inevitably.

 “I forgave my parents,” He doesn’t look at Eddie while he says it, but can feel him stiffen momentarily before he relaxes again.

 “That must have been hard,” Eddie says, his words so similar to Maddie’s just a few hours ago. Buck shrugs in response, talking about it with his sister had been hard enough, he doesn’t really want to get into the why’s of it again.

 “I just feel like---” Buck stops himself and sighs in frustration. “I feel like this should have brought me some sort of relief, right? Taken some of the weight off my shoulders? Now that I actually have some context to what they did, and why-“

 “Hey,” Eddie interrupts, almost sharply. “Your parents lost a child, and that’s terrible. But them ignoring the two living children they had, not being there for their kids who actually needed them? That is on them and nothing can excuse that. You are well within your rights to feel angry, Buck.”

 Buck shakes his head. “I am so tired of being angry,” He says. “But---I still am. I thought forgiving them would make me feel less angry, but it didn’t. I am so angry that they kept my brother a secret from me, all this time. I am so angry that they forced Maddie to keep that secret, when she was just a child. I am so angry that I was finally, finally, doing better, feeling more secure and good about myself and my life and it took just one visit from them to turn it all upside down!”

 He sucks in a deep breath and buries his head in his hands, shaking slightly. He did not mean to explode like that. Hell, he doesn’t even know where it all came from. He had no idea he was even feeling like that before it all burst out.

 I sometimes hide my true feelings, Buck remembers telling his therapist that one time, and he chuckles hollowly at the memory.

 Eddie lays a hand on his shoulder, the pad of his thumb drawing soothing circles over his sleeve and remains quiet until Buck raises his head again, eyes wet.

 “It’s clear to me, now,” Buck says. “Everything I ever did to try and win their affection, to win their love—none of it mattered. I was set up to fail since the very beginning. The entire time, whenever they looked at me, all they could see was Daniel and I would never measure up in their eyes. How could I compete with that? God,” He scrubs a hand across his face roughly and lets out a bitter laugh. “I’m jealous of a dead person. How fucked up is that?”

Something shutters in Eddie’s expression and he ducks his head for a moment, swallowing. “I understand completely,” He murmurs. Before Buck can really think about it, Eddie is talking again.

 “It was never on you to win your parents’ love, Buck,” He says. “It’s not something that needs to be won, it’s something that has to be freely given. And your parents—they—no matter the loss they were mourning, the way they made you feel like every scrap of their attention needed to be earned was unacceptable. You have to know that. I mean—” He sighs and pauses for a moment. “I have made a lot of mistakes with Christopher, but I can never imagine doing to him what your parents did to you and your sister. It’s unthinkable.”

 Buck manages to smile at that and says, his voice breaking a little, “You’re a really great dad.”

 Eddie chuckles and shakes his head. “I hope so,” He murmurs. “At least, I try to be. And sometimes, trying is the best you can do. It’s what every parent should do.”

 Trying, huh? Philip and Margaret Buckley certainly hadn’t. They had given up on Buck the moment he’d failed to save his brother, Buck is certain of this no matter how they might say otherwise. They had given up on Maddie when she married Doug. They were never willing to try when things got hard, instead that burden had been placed on their children and Maddie and Buck had carried it even into their adulthood, without even noticing.

 He had never felt that burden so acutely as he did in the fire, as he relived his entire life, seeing his past through new eyes as he fought desperately to save Saleh from the flames and himself, from giving into all that despair and guilt and hopelessness. And in the end, he hadn’t had to carry it alone, because the 118, his family, stepped in to carry it with him.

 “In that warehouse,” Buck says. “I almost gave up.”

 Eddie doesn’t bat an eyelash at his words. “I know,” He says, simply.

 Buck isn’t sure why he’s saying this. He doesn’t know why he feels the need to confess this to Eddie, why this is something he needs for him to know. He also doesn’t know why Eddie is being so calm about it.

 “I almost stopped fighting,” Buck continues, his voice breaking a little.

 “I know.” Eddie says, again.

 “You’re not—” Buck clears his throat and says, hoarsely, “You’re not…I don’t know—” He can’t finish.

 Upset? Angry? Disappointed?

 Eddie, evidently, doesn’t need him to say it. “No,” He says, his voice impossibly soft. “I know what it’s like. I’ve been there.”

 Oh. Of course, that’s—Buck doesn’t know whether he is referring to Afghanistan or the well, when he was buried under thirty feet of mud. Or both.

 Buck doesn’t ask, and Eddie doesn’t elaborate.

 “It feels easy, to just stop resisting,” Eddie continues. “But then, you remember that you have something to live for. A family that loves you.”

 Buck shakes his head, almost automatically. “My parents—”

 “I’m not talking about your parents,” Eddie says, firmly. “I am talking about your sister, Bobby, Athena, the 118—”

 “—you?” Buck finishes, something in his heart lifting at the soft smile Eddie gives him in return.

 “Yeah, me,” Eddie says. “And Christopher,” He pauses, suddenly looking almost uncertain. “That is, if you’ll have us.”

 If he’ll have them? Buck almost laughs hysterically—what sort of question is that? Surely, Eddie has to know—to have him and Christopher as his family would be everything and more. He wants it, all of it, so badly that it’s almost terrifying. He wants Eddie, in any and every single way possible, no matter how selfish it is.

 “Eddie, you don’t know what that means to me,” Buck says, instead.

 Eddie smiles. “I think I have some idea,” He says, and reaches out, slipping his hand into Buck’s. Buck can feel his breath catch, his heart leaping at the gentle touch, at the way Eddie’s fingers slot so perfectly between his. It is at times like these, that he thinks that Eddie might return the feelings he has for him, the feelings that are definitely not those of friendship. But he can never bring himself to cross that line, too afraid of being wrong, of ruining one of the best things he has in his life.

 They sit in silence for a few minutes. After a while, Buck glances at the clock.

 “It’s getting late,” He says reluctantly. “I should go.”

 “Stay.” Eddie says. Buck’s pulse quickens, he knows that Eddie doesn’t mean it that way, yet—

 “I think—”

 Eddie shakes his head. “Stay. Please.”

 And how can Buck say no to that?

 He nods wordlessly and allows himself to lean into Eddie, his eyes drifting shut. This is slowly exceeding the realm of best friend behavior, but Buck can’t find it in himself to care at the moment, especially when Eddie turns into him, resting his head on his shoulder.

 For now, he can have this.

 For once, he can be enough.

[schrijverr]

I Wrote My Own Deliverance

Chapter 3 out of 10

Alexander Hamilton is reborn as Alex Hambleton. He is desperate not to make the same mistakes twice, but it seems he is stuck in the narrative, unable to get out. Familiar faces pop up all around him as he attempts to keep his previous life a secret and write himself out of the story

On AO3.

Ships: none

Wasrnings: Aaron and Alex get punched by the Schuylers and theyre at a party so drinking. Tell me if I missed anything or if you want me to tag something!!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~

The week passed quicker than expected and soon enough Alex was dragging Aaron along to the meeting place with Herc, Lafayette and John. Inside he was hoping none of them had read up on their history and wouldn’t know what Aaron had done.

Or that they at least wouldn’t be salty.

No such luck, the moment they arrived Alex skipped forwards as he introduced Aaron: “Hi, guys, this Aaron Bartow, my roommate.”

At the name John surged forwards, only getting held back by Lafayette, who whispered: “Lets not do this tonight.”

John tore himself free and jabbed his finger at Aaron as he hissed: “The only reason you don’t have a broken nose right now is because I don’t want to ruin our evening and Alex is attached to you for some reason.”

Before Aaron could reply Alex stepped in: “Damn, I knew people tell you not to mix social circles, but I did not picture this. What did you do piss John off? He’s practically sunshine.”

The others all stared at him, unsure if they should explain or just leave him in the dark as they had done so far. No one had informed Alex of who they were, besides mentioning soldiers and revolution – or lawyer in Aarons case.

“I feel like I’m missing something.” Alex broke the tension.

“Just leave it, Alex. It’s too complicated.” Herc said.

“Ooohh, relationship drama through the ages.” Alex couldn't help but tease, “Were you past lovers?”

Aaron and John both chocked as Laf and Herc burst out laughing and suddenly the tension from before was gone as Herc gasped: “Oh my god, Alex, I know you have no context, but that was the funniest shit to date.”

“But was I right?” he asked.

“NO!” suddenly Aaron and John could agree, both with horror on their faces.

John grimaced: “I’m gay, but not for him, ew.”

“I feel like I should be offended, but I honestly don’t care.” Aaron replied.

“Sad, you two would be cute together.” now he was just talking shit and if it ever came out that he’d already known right now, he was going to be fucked.

There were more snorts and sounds of horror. When everyone had calmed down again he gestured to the house from which sounds of the party were coming. He said: “Are we going to get shitfaced now?”

John forgot Aaron as he whooped loudly and practically dragged the others inside, leaving Aaron to sigh and trudge after them. He had forgotten how much he hadn’t missed this.

Inside Alex looked around for the Angie, who had invited them. It was polite to sat hi to the host after all. He soon spotted her and dragged his companions over to her and two other girls by her side.

“Hello, Alex, I’m unsure which of you to thank for inviting me.” he greeted with a charming smile, “I also brought my housemate Aaron, hope it’s not an issue.”

“Aaron?” Angie asked.

“Yeah, oh and that’s John, Herc and Lafayette, his real name is way too long so we just call him Laf.” he smiled.

Before he could say anything else one of the other girls had punched Aaron in the face. The puzzle pieces fell in place, but before he could say anything Angies fist collided with his own. His hands flew up and he yelled: “What the hell!”

In the background he heard Lafayette ask: “Schulyers?”

“Yes, naturally.” Angie replied.

“Alex doesn’t remember or he really isn’t him.” Lafayette said softly, “We’re unsure.”

Pretending he hadn’t overheard the conversation, he looked up and said: “I probably deserved that, though I am unsure why, but, and I repeat, what the hell! Do you always go around punching your guests?”

Angie gasped and Alex felt kind of bad, since he honestly did deserve that. She explained: “I’m so sorry, I thought- with Aaron- and then, you- god, I’m so sorry, I knew an Alex, well, an Alexander, in a past life and he broke my sisters heart.”

“Damn, he must have really fucked up.” Alex sympathized.

“Yeah, he cheated on me and published it for the world to know.” the girl who punched Aaron told him, “Elizabeth Schild, but everyone calls me Lizzy.”

“Alex Hambleton, and that guy sounds like a fucking asshole, pardon my language. He deserves more than a punch at this point.” he said, trying to apologize while also not, “But why did Aaron get punched?”

“Well, maybe now it isn’t him, since you’re not-” Lizzy, no Eliza, his Betsy, said, “But if he is who I think he is, then he shot my husband.”

“Holy shit.” Alex forced his eyes to go wide with surprise, “Remember what I said? Holy fuck. I was right, well not completely, but holy shit.”

“What?” Angie, Angelica, asked.

“Well, this is awkward, well, uhm, when I asked these three if I should invite Aaron here, they asked me what, you know- what was the worst that could happen, you see.” Alex stumbled.

“The point.” there was a reason he had always liked Angelica.

“The worst I came up with was that he over there murdered your past lover, not hers, and that you were going to murder him and that I was going to be involved somehow and then I was going to get deported for being an accessory.” Alex told her.

“That is scarily close.” Eliza said.

“Exactly!” Alex said, “Way too close, jikes. Please, don’t murder him, I want to keep my visa, please.”

“I’ll consider it.” Angelica raised a brow, charmed.

“Thanks.” Aaron sounded strained, his nose was still bleeding.

“So, are you the guy who shot the husband.” Alex asked, he had to, it would be suspicious if he didn’t.

Aaron looked around to all the expecting faces and sighed defeated, this was not how he had hoped this evening to go: “Yes.”

“On one hand, damn, on the other hand, that guy kinda deserved it.” Alex told him, “So, silver linings.”

“You are extremely calm for a man rooming with a confirmed murderer.” John said, still mad at Aaron.

Alex shrugged: “I mean, that was the past, people change, my man. And mean, I’m still alive, so I trust him.”

He tried to ignore the look of awe and disbelief on Aarons face.

“Weirdo.” said the other girl, “I’m Margret Smith, but call me Peggy.”

“It’s nice to meet you.” Alex said, he was glad Eliza had found her sisters, she deserved to have something nice like that in her life. He added: “Hey, Peggy, could you show me where the ice is? It’s not that I don’t love this drama that I’m unable to follow, but my nose hurts.”

“Yeah, sure.” she said, before sending her sisters a look and dragging Alex off to give the others privacy to talk about the past.

They wormed their way through the crowd of bodies to a luckily empty kitchen, where Alex was given an ice pack for his nose. Sitting on the counter he asked: “Sorry if this rude, but did you know what they were talking about?”

Peggy shrugged and said: “I mean, technically yeah, we used to be sisters in our past lives, but I died before all the drama, so it’s always more them and then me. I’m the ‘and Peggy’, at least Margret is slightly better than Margarita as a name”

Alex snorted and nodded, de and Peggy had always gotten along. She’d struggled with this before as well. He offered: “At least you know. It seems everyone wants me to be someone, but I am my own person. Having a past life seems to be exhausting and it would only drag me down, I have so much to achieve.”

Peggy grinned and said: “Well, I don’t blame them for thinking it, honestly. You are so much like the other Alexander, he made it to the History books, you know.”

“Really?” Alex asked.

“Yeah, you have no clue how awkward it is to learn about your brother-in-law during high school.” she confided.

He laughed and said: “That must be insane, I’m honestly tempted to ask who he was, but I also don’t want to know, because then I know who everyone wants me to be and it seems like he was a lot to live up to, being a shitty husband aside.”

“Lizzy called him her little hurricane.” Peggy told him, “He was quite much, but in a good way, as far as I knew him. Always talking or writing.”

Alex grinned, he had always gotten the gossip about Angelica and Eliza from Peggy and it seemed even death and more than 200 years had not changed that.

He replied: “Damn, that does sound like too much energy,” god was he one to judge, he was practically still the same, “How about we go back, before they actually murder Aaron and we’re accessories.”

It delighted him that he got a laugh out of the youngest sister as she gave him a drink, for the last of the pain as she told him, before going to find the others again.

Aaron had already left, but the night was good nonetheless. Alex, however, was getting quite concerned with all the people he’d know. If he wasn’t careful, he would be forced to tell everyone he knew who he was.

As much as he loved seeing his Betsy again, he hadn’t deserved Eliza before and he certainly didn’t deserve Eliza again. He wasn’t going to force her to go through that again.

So, he spend the night flirting with a guy, named Yoseph, making sure he had known no one with the name. And distanced himself.

[ad1thi]

tagged by: @lovelyirony (im sorry it took me this long to get to it). 

1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

Naina Talwar, YJHD: i don’t think you can find a character that more closely remembers me, except that i have an extremely sharp tongue and my shyness is constantly warring with my desire to always speak up. Bookish ✅ well meaning but extremely strict parents ✅ didn’t have a lot of friends at school ✅ was largely known for her marks ✅ desperate desire to break out of her monotonous life and go on an adventure ✅ 

Stiles Stilinski, Teen Wolf: my life is a constant ping-pong between being Stiles and wanting to f*** Stiles. extremely sarcastic ✅ intelligent but rarely applies themselves to the task at hand ✅ suffers from imposter syndrome ✅ would die for their friends ✅ is attracted to people who could snap them in half ✅

Ten, Doctor Who: i was having this discussion with someone recently, but - apart my love for David Tennant - the reason Ten resonated with me so much was because of how much i understood him; the way he never forgave himself and constantly carried around this massive looming self hatred but still tried to absolve him, knowing full well that he could never forgive himself. also he cries all the time and bitch me too tf

Rosa Diaz, Brooklyn 99: okay so i get that this might surprise some people but hear me out: she thrives off maintaining an aloof, terrifying exterior, has a kink for being mysterious and will do damn near anything to main an illusionary peace with her parents to the point that she was more willing to let her parents think she was dating Jake than she was ready to admit that she was bisexual, but the minute her parents revealed their internalised biphobia she got so incensed that she broke that peace just to stand up for her truth and what she thought was right

2. Aesthetic

iced coffee, oversized clothes, black nail-polish and the smell of nicotine. (does that count as an aesthetic?) 

3. Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?)

Mamma Mia

4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

i don’t know i have terrible memory. im quite vain tho, i love superficial compliments about my appearance. 

5. How many times have you been in love?

once.

6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

my lack of self-esteem could never

7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

the Lion King trilogy is one that always comes to mind when i get asked questions along this vein

8. Favorite flower or plant?

i have hay-fever me and flowers don’t vibe

9. What’s your favorite holiday?

i love the vibe that Dussehra has, but im also extremely fond of Diwali. 

10. Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

this series that i discovered today, the palak paneer that i ate for dinner today, and a video edit of my future husband 

11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

Where You From by Riz Ahmed (a must listen for anyone in the south asian diaspora). and Halsey’s entire discography 

12. Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

my bestfriend, LRP sometimes sends me voice-notes of her singing. that makes me feel at peace

13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

i study Law

14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

an oversized hoodie and ratty shorts

15. What is a quote you live by?

i’ve never rly put much stock in other people’s words, so you’ll find this answer will change everytime someone asks me for it. i do particularly like if you’re going through hell - keep going. 

16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.

all of my playlists are emojis rn but i used to have one called “ ” when i was younger

17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

Young Volcano

18. What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

at the end of the day, you never rly needed anybody but yourself. those people who you relied on, who you thought you needed like you need air or water?? they’re not here anymore but guess what - you’re still standing. you’re still here. 

19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

my maternal grandmother

20. What’s a secret dream of yours?

i don’t know if you can count it as secret but i want to have that sort of life-affirming love that they write about

//

i don’t know how many people have done this because i rly left it to the last minute so: @iam93percentstardust, @rxmanoff, @spiderrpcrker, @omg-just-peachy, @firebrands , @starkrogerrs (i rly hope im not tagging anyone who’s already done this)

[babygirlwolverine]

Positive 20 Questions Tag Game

1.) Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

- Tinkerbell (Peter Pan): I very much relate to her, because I also am possessive over the people I love and also need attention all the time or I die hahah. But also she’s sassy and spunky and goes after what she wants, and I love that. She’s persistent and determined and willing to take out anything in her path. And I think all of those things sum up me pretty damn well.

- Dean Winchester (Supernatural): not only have I seen the connection, but my sister and several friends have also told me how similar I am to Dean. The way I bottle things up and avoid dealing with my emotions. How I would die for the people I love because I care for them that strongly that I couldn’t bear to live in a world without them. I’m sarcastic and witty and sassy just like Dean is. Just like Dean, I put up a tough guy front and act like things don’t both me, but really I’m an emotional teddy bear who doesn’t know how to deal with all the things I feel. I also tell ridiculous and stupid jokes and puns and normal get eyerolls from my sister for it, but it’s totally worth it.

- Tony Stark (MCU): I could go on and on about how similar I am to Tony. From wearing my heart on my sleeve to trying to make the right decisions and screwing things up in the process. Just like Tony, I’m sarcastic and smart. But also like Tony, I have a ton of mental baggage. I struggle and suffer with anxiety and panic attacks, too. Just like Tony, there isn’t anything I wouldn’t do for the people I love. And I hope, like Tony, I learn from my mistakes and try every day to be better and work harder. A lot of my mannerism is just like Tony, the way he uses sarcasm and wit and banter as a front to cover how vulnerable he is. I do the exact same thing. I’m no where near as smart as Tony is, but I’d like to think in difficult situations I let my brain switch into puzzle solving mode just like he does.

- Riley Poole (National Treasure): Riley is my smol bean. I swear he is me in male movie persona. Nerdy and sometimes a little slow on the uptake, but wicked smart in areas most people aren’t. Dedicated and loyal to my friends/family no matter what else is going on. Not always the main hero, but the relatable one everyone loves. Able to do things people don’t expect of me, and to do the things people do expect of me on top of that. Always in the background, working my ass of, just like Riley is. And always seeking the approval of my loved ones, just like Riley. Brave and smart and full of quippy one liners and great comebacks.

2.) Aesthetic?

-  pastel colors, flowers, hippie vibes, glitter and sparkles, sunsets

3.) Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?

- The only musical I’ve ever seen is The Very Potter Musical (oops). I’m not really a musical or play kind of person. I much prefer movies and TV shows. But hey, I can still sing a ton of the songs from AVPM and said references to it so many times even my parents know them.

4.) What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

- either “for some reason you remind me of Marilyn Monroe highkey” or it was this client I was working with as a vet tech assistant and she said to me “you are the best technician I have ever had work with my dog. You are going to be a wonderful and compassionate doctor and I’d love to be your client in the future” and y’all like she literally complimented me so much she even told my boss how much she adored me and my work ethic and I literally went into the back of the clinic and cried after she left because I’ve never felt so strongly that I’m meant to be in the veterinary field.

5.) How many times have you been in love?

- twice. Once was with the girl I had my first kiss with (actually there was many many kisses with her). She was my first love. I mean I really fell for her. She was a lot of firsts for me. And my first boyfriend. He led me on though and played me even though I fell for him and he knew that. So that sucked. 

6.) Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

- When I was 9, I was running in the playground at school and tripped over this tree stump that was like kept there by the school for some reason (I can’t remember). But I tripped ad badly tore up my left hip. I mean like blood everywhere, massively bandages, the whole 9 yards. It healed over and there’s no scar now, but it was super embarrassing to trip over it in front of my entire class and to really badly hurt myself, and this was all like a month after I had just moved to the town and just started school. Way to make a fool out of myself from the very beginning.

7.) Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

- Peter Pan. See my above answer about why I love Tinkerbell. Peter Pan is also my favorite because I love the idea of being able to escape some place and be young forever and forever free and happy. The idea of being able to just enjoy the simple things in life without the weight of the world on your shoulders.

8.) Favorite flower or plant?

-  Plumerias. They are just absolutely beautiful and they smell amazing and their colors are vibrant and beautiful and I just love them.

9.) What’s your favorite holiday?

- Christmas, without a doubt. My mum adores Christmas and she instilled that same love in me. The music, the lights, the decorations, the cheer, the happiness, the gift giving. All of it. It’s just such a happy time in my household and it’s what I look forward to all year because it’s just warmth and happiness radiating in my family.

10.) Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

- @deanscastiel79 sending me messages every day to check on me and to see if I’m okay. Nothing makes me happier than someone noticing if I’m being quiet or if I’m MIA and checking on me and sending me things to make me smile.

- Just seeing the amount of likes and reblogs my destiel fics are getting. And the amount of followers I’ve gained since I started posting destiel fics. I’ve literally gained more than 25 followers in a couple weeks. It blows my mind. And seeing like the notes continue to climb on my fics and then having someone reach out to comment and personally message me to tell me how much they liked one of the fics I wrote. It makes me smile so much my cheeks hurt.

- My puppy, Rocket. He’s the biggest goofball in the world. But he’s so damn affectionate it’s unreal. The amount of love and cuddles and kisses he gives me almost hourly every single day literally fills my heart to bursting. On my worst days, he’s the only thing that can make me smile. He makes me feel loved.

11.) What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

- Rare by Selena Gomez. Because you know what? I am rare. I’m special and unique and proud of who I am. And maybe not everyone can see that, but that’s fine, because I can and will find people who do see that and who cherish me and treat me right. “I don’t have it all, I’m not claiming to, but I know that I’m special.” My favorite lyrics of the song. Because I know I don’t have it all, but I do have so much to offer the world, and I’m ready to share that with the right people.

12.) Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

- I’m a Maladaptive Daydreamer. When I’m most stressed, I’ll let myself go into one of those daydreams until I feel calm again. I let those characters ground me. Either that, or spending some time with Rocket (my puppy mentioned earlier). Because there’s nothing that makes me feel better than puppy cuddles.

13.) What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

- For my undergraduate, I studied and got degrees in Biology and English (Concentration in Creative Writing) with a minor in Chemistry. I’m currently in grad/med school studying Veterinary Medicine and earning my DVM (Doctor of Veterinary Medicine).

14.) This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

- It would either be high waisted shorts and a crop top/tank top/hippie shirt or a summer dress.

15.) What is a quote you live by?

- “Grateful for where I’m at. Excited about where I’m going” and “It always seems impossible until it’s done.”

16.) Name the funniest playlist name you have.

- My playlists don’t have weird names. I just have playlists for different artists. I have a playlist called “Soft Songs” for when I’m stressed or need music to sleep to. I had started a playlist called “Down and Dirty” for when I was writing smut fics and needed some inspiration, but the app on my phone wiped it and I was too lazy to remake it again. Maybe I will when I have some more time on my hands so I can have some inspiration to write some destiel smut fics.

17.) Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

- “Why are you looking at me like that?” “Because you’re Skipper Sophie.”

18.) What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

- Don’t let anyone tell you who you can and can’t be. There is always light at the end of the tunnel, and there is always people who will love and support you. And if your gut tells you something isn’t right, trust it.

19.) Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

- My sister. She’s the one person I can go and talk to about anything and everything. We can talk for hours. She always has my back. She boosts me up when I need it. She’s my inspiration and my support system. I don’t think I could live without her by my side. She’s my rock and I love her with everything in my heart and more.

20.) What’s a secret dream of yours?

- To publish a book. I know I’ve gone down the medical path as a career, but someday I would love to write my own novel and have it published.  

tagging: @deanscastiel79 @singingninja4 @themarvelavenger @seekinsideanimus @fadinglight123 @nonthebinary @pizzamanhedelivers @proudace @beatmetothesnitch @s-l-u-m-p-i-e @vcastiel

[mercurialkitty]

POSITIVE 20 QUESTIONS TAG GAME

i was tagged by @peanutbutterandgrapejelly for a different tag game lol! I thought if would be ok to do this one instead. Thanks! These questions sound really interesting!

1. Name 4 fictional characters who showcase your personality the best, with explanations if you want.

Castiel: the attempting to follow rules and believing in having rules and boundaries, but breaking or rejecting them for good reasons later -- feeling bad about it, but knowing you’d do the same again.

Sam Winchester: feeling like there was another life/other lives I could have had. Feeling sad about them sometimes, but trying to live and do good in what I can. Liking absorbing facts, learning things, getting knowledgeable. Can be nerdy, or can be intense

Anne Elliot: Just watch Persuasion (1995) and the time with her sister Mary and the Musgroves. Calm, practical exterior; complex inner (100% done) life.

Uhm. This is all I got right now.

2. Aesthetic

practical/hobbity/hufflepuff - Pretty much the majority of hobbit or hufflepuff mood/aesthetic boards work for me

3. Favorite musical/play? (If you’ve never seen a musical or play, one you’d be interested in seeing?)

Gentleman Prefer Blondes - fluffy, campy, sexy, colorful

4. What is the best compliment you’ve ever received?

Kinda back-handed/secret: My co-workers were complaining about how no one ever gets exceeds expectations on our annual evals and who could even manage that, and I’m thinking, “well actually....me”.

5. How many times have you been in love?

 ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ IDK

6. Embarrassing story or fact about yourself that makes you laugh now?

Two of us driving in mountains in winter, and nowhere to pee, or safely get out of van, so husband drove, and I peed into a Tupperware container.

7. Favorite Disney/Pixar movie?

Coco

8. Favorite flower or plant?

Hydrangea

9. What’s your favorite holiday?

damn, I don’t think I have one. Fall in general? I hate to say Halloween ‘cause everyone does, but halloween?

10. Name three things that made you laugh or smile this past week.

fanfic, jane austen movies, tortillas came out ok

11. What song would you play to introduce yourself to someone?

Hold on loosely

12. Name something that truly makes you feel peaceful even at your most stressed moments.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

13. What do you, did you, or would you study at college?

Studied religion, journalism, museum studies, library science

14. This is kind of a weird one, but which outfit of yours makes you feel most like yourself?

jeans and an over-sized teal sweater

15. What is a quote you live by?

"I have been through some terrible things in my life, some of which actually happened."

16. Name the funniest playlist name you have.

Like overwrought singing is a BAD thing?

17. Make a reference to an inside joke you have with someone you love with zero context.

You are very good.

18. What is a message you would give your younger self if given the chance?

So many things! Screw purity culture, don’t feel guilty, and have SAFE sex (if one wants to of course). Don’t spend so much time on existential questions.

19. Who is your favorite family member? (If you have no good blood family members, feel free to mention someone in your found family)

Mom

20. What’s a secret dream of yours?

Fantasy dream: winning the lottery For real dream: I need to quit being just a consumer of fic and art and start creating.

Tagging a few folks in my recent activity, but feel free to join in.

@huskergal93 @janeofcakes @daelenn @flightoftheseraph

[yvvaine]

5 Quick Thoughts on the Leaks

Guys like....... C H I L L. 

Every time there is a new leak people freak the FUCK out either jumping ship like its the titanic or partying like its new years before we know its December 31st. It’s so exhausting. We all know that leaks dont mean SHIT 

1a. Most of the “leaks” are all mishmashed together.... everyone gets a bit right/pulls from other people. Lots are a compilation, or rumors. Even Friki, for all his leaks that are right, got a damn lot wrong too. 

1b. TBH I’d only trust an OP’s leak for one ep. Because after that I swear to god they must make shit up bc now people feel like they can trust them. How many leakers get one episode right then wildly mislead people on about the next episodes / rest of the series?? Boat baby anyone, anybody remember that? LOL

2. We still have the “suprising, twisted romance” don’t we? HM? What other relationship would fit that? Gendrya no. Brienne w Tormund or Jaime, no. Euron and Cersei is def twisted and was surprising but that already happened in ep 2 so that can’t be it....

3. The wall one I find the funniest of all. Last time I checked the wall isn’t standing. Also, the others are gone and the wildlings are allies so why the hell would they still need it ??? LMAO this one is so easy to discredit w basic logic. D&D are dumb but not THAT dumb. Also last time i checked, jon was SOOOOO done with night’s watch. They literally stabbed him? Even if he doesnt get the throne, like, wouldnt he head to dorne like his original plan before sansa? Or stay in winterfell? 

4. We have no context for either rheagal dying or missandei being beheaded. Context is key. Im super bummed about Missandei and its certainly disheartening to see that come true but nevertheless; Remember the dragon jnerys montage??? the big epic kiss that never was, the line jon was supposed to have said but ended up being not nearly as romantic and said by dany?? lmao that “leak” scene  was right AND wrong

5. We still have those leaked set photos of Jon BENDING THE KNEE to Cersei. How does that make sense? How will this fit in? Point is: WE DONT KNOW.  

I love speculating on leaks (so I’m not about to blacklist the tag) and I l o v e my jonsa fam, but this happens every week. We either get really excited or really depressed and tbh it ends up not mattering by the time the ep airs?? We always have faith by the end of the ep.....

So just....relax, ya? 

[i-can-get-extra-with-my-ships]

Oookay, sooooo. Could we have the sides playing a game of some sort? Like on PS or XBox, idk. And a some Prinxiety and Logicality maybe because why not. Pleaseeee.

(I'm so sorry this took so long. I just needed to get a good idea. Since my family is a Nintendo family, it's going to be Mario Kart on the Wii U. (Because I say so. And because I strive for accuracy...sometimes) You didn’t need to ask for Prinxiety and Logicality. It was gonna happen anyway. I have no self-control. But hey look at the bright side!! This gets to be part of the 100 children celebration now!! Here we go! TO THE POST!! (Rewrite))

(Actually the slightest bit of context. I didn't want to have to rewrite the context I had before. (This is what I was working on when I dropped my juice box like an idiot.) Earlier Roman tickled Virgil off the couch, on accident. Roman thought that it was the funniest thing but Vee wasn’t too happy about it. (To the rewrite of this post!!)

Virgil: *Is is first Place and reaching the finish line* YES!! YES!! *Crosses the finish line* YES!!! *gently sets down controller* TAKE THAT ROMAN!!!

Roman: *Was in third and just crossed the finish line. Also gently sets down controller* NO!! GOD DAMN IT VIRGIL!! 

Patton: *Is in dead last and stops paying attention to yell at the kiddos* Roman, language. And be quiet Virgil. You two know you love each other.

Logan: *Is in fifth, is paying attention to what Patton says, and has picked up on the plan*

Virgil: He’s right Roman.

Roman: Wait, what?

Virgil: I love you.

Roman: Aww, I love you t-

Virgil: BUT THIS *Wildly gestures to the TV* is revenge for earlier.

Patton: *Gets the perfect moment to add to the plan* So, I normally don’t condone violence but, Virgil, did you enjoy your Revenge Party?

Roman: A PARTY THAT ENDS-

Virgil: *Joins him halfway through the line*

Ro and Vee: WITH SOMEBODY CRUSHED AND ALONE!!!

Virgil: AND UGLY CRYING!!

Logan: *Accidentally on purpose sticks out leg to trip Virge*

Virgil: *Trips backward*

Roman: *Catches Virgil* You ok sunshine?

Virgil: Yeah.

Roman: Good. That means I can do this.

Virgil: Do what? Roman wa- *Is cut off by Roman kissing him*

---

(Ok. This was actually pretty good. I still think the OG was better. But fuck it.)

---

BoNuS!!!

(While JD.Lightful and Veronica Singer are making out)

Logan: Nice one.

Patton: What you did wasn’t what I thought but it worked.

Logan: *Offers fist bump*

Patton: Boom.

Logan: Boom indeed.

Patton: *Gives Logan a look*

Logan: Did I forget something Patton?

Patton: Dunno. Did you?

Logan: Ahh, yes. It appears I did. *Kisses Patton*

---

(Too lazy to tag this sooo... Yes JD.Lightful and Veronica Singer are staying.)

[timeisacephalopod]

Ive seen endgame! Spoilers under the cut and I’m not tagging this as spoilers because I’m literally telling you now its spoilers.

1- what the fuck was the point of Tony’s kid? We had more than 10 years with this character, he doesn’t need a kid for emotional impact when he died and now I’m kind of pissed they threw this fucking random kid in there only to orphan the poor thing and make Pepper a single mother. What fucking bullshit. Never should have been a storyline.

2- Pepper in the suit yaaaaaas.

3- Wanda. Fucking loved her moments. And Thanos’ “I don’t even know who you are” was fucking iconic lmao. I mean her “you will” was okay but holy fucking damn that was the funniest shit from Thanos.

4- they killed viz permanently lmao yeah I didn’t give 2 tits and a snare drum about him anyway so I don’t care.

5- Steve. What the fucking fuck did they do to him? Don’t get me wrong, I like Peggy, and I liked him and Peggy in FA. They were cute. But it was a 4 month fling in the middle of of a war. Not that it can’t be important, but after 15+ years you are telling me a 4 month fling from Steve’s youth is more important to him than everything else? And what of Bucky? He leaves him to HYDRA and after all the shit he went through in WS and CW you’re seriously telling me he’d just LEAVE him there like that? I don’t mean to be a dick to Peggy because I do like her, but narratively speaking Bucky has always played more importance to her except when they want to make Steve feel nostalgic. I’m sorry, I’m fucking over that plot line.

More than that though she moved on in her show, she had a life after Steve and he went back and took that from her. And I don’t see why aside from no one let him grow as a character while also having him grow as a character. He went through a huge character shift in WS and then we saw nothing of it. Aside from his motivations in CW, which make sense given the context of WS however much I disagree, we see none of that development and I’m fucking tired of watching him lament over a relationship that lasted for a shorter time than a high school semester. To any normal person, and even to Steve given his non normal stance, he would have moved the fuck on. Also he made out with her niece that one time!! How is he living with this!

Also Sam says they never had a Captain America but Steve was still big when he danced with Peggy, which means he got the serum, which means he still can’t age right, which begs the question of how the tits long did he live? And again, what does this mean for everything else considering getting the serum implies he was, at some point, Cap even if he was never the Cap they knew. What the fuck! I’m actually the most mad about this because Steve, post WS, probably would have been one of my favorite characters given his extreme narrative shift and just how interesting that could have been if anyone ever fucking let him move on with his fucking self but no. Instead we end with him in the same spot he started in! I watched ten years of this shit for him to do NOTHING? All that development (that the narratives never really let him go through in totality because he narratively never shifted out of his War and Peggy Phase even while his character, on an individual level, moved out of that several times) and I watch him end in the same place he started?

Honestly I’m pretty pissed about that. Especially with all the did with Bucky. I seriously can’t believe Steve fucking left him there, ignored every piece of information he had, ruined Peggy’s original happy ending, and then didn’t even grow as a character. I like that he got a happy ending, I think he’s earned that, but I simply cannot believe a 4 month fucking fling meant so much he’d ignore his best friend, HYDRA, Peggy’s original marriage, the fact that he made out with her niece that one time, and everything else to end up exactly where he started. Which is why I don’t really care for him to begin with- because the narrative always leaves him right at the beginning and I don’t know how to invest in a character that grows but never grows. If he narratively was allowed to grow he would have been so. Much. Better. It is so fucking frustrating to me that he never moved the fuck on. You have no idea.

6- “I can do this all day” “Yeah I know”

7- “You look like melted ice cream”

8- Hated almost everything they did with Thor. Fat jokes? Yikes. Though I did love that ice cream line. Loved the bit with Frigga. And like. Thor being devastated and traumatized is ok. I think that’s realistic enough even if I wonder how someone that’s been alive for well over 1000 years doesn’t know how to handle himself with slightly more grace. I would have liked to see him crack differently.

9- Cap picking up Thor’s hammer and Thor being happy about it? 10 000 times better than the garbage Whedon wrote. Loved that.

10- Nebula. N E B U L A. NEEEEEBBBUUUUULLLLAAAA. Start to finish fucking loved her. She was amazing. 2 questions though- how did she not kill herself when she killed herself? Which in itself is a fucky question to ask. And also the second contention point I have with the movie beyond time travel bullshit is why NO ONE asked where she was post Nat (that in a minute). I know they were sad about Nat obviously but Rhodey is a full bird colonel, he keeps track of thousands of people for his job, plus all of his involvement in Tony’s antics, plus the Avengers and you’re telling me he didn’t notice her gone even with Nat? And Tony, you’re telling me he didn’t notice her gone? He was the one who bonded with her the most and he didn’t notice that he’s now technically lost two people he was close to? And Rocket? He didn’t notice? Are you fucking kidding me? I thought that was bullshit.

Even if, by chance, Rhodey somehow didn’t notice his partner in crime was missing (”I wasn't always like this” “Neither was I”- new BroTP yo!) when I think his military experience alone would have made him the second most likely to notice after Rocket (because he knows her the best) then Rocket should have. And if for some reason Rocket didn’t notice despite her being all that’s left of his found family, making him extra invested in her whereabouts, over Nat, whom I think he’d care about but not like Nebula, then Tony, who spent all that time with her in space, would have noticed.

Fucking someone would have noticed her gone. And the whole second half relies on no one noticing this moment and I call absolute bullshit on that. Someone. Would. Have. Noticed. Rhodey if for no other reason than experience of keeping track of people in war zones, Rocket if for no other reason than her being his last remaining connection to his family, and Tony if for no other reason than Nebula being a large part of the reason he’s alive. I was completely thrown from the story here. I simply can’t see how they could over look that even considering Natasha.

11- Natasha. Are you fucking kidding me? You killed her over Clint? I fucking hate MCU Clint. He’s boring, he’s nothing like the comics, he’s a fucking prick, and I don’t give a fuck about his family or anything to do with him. I liked him best when he was going to kill himself for Natasha. That is the only moment, as Marie Kondo would say, sparked joy for me. Otherwise throw the whole thing out. Fucking Natasha over Clint. Fuck you. That was an insult to the viewers. I don’t give a fuck about Clint, I don’t give a fuck about his kids aside from thinking they didn’t deserve the snap, and I don’t give a fuck about his story.

My mom said he was a plain Timbit (donut hole for the US readers) in a donut world and I honestly think that’s insulting to the plain Timbit, which is something we give to dogs as treats in Canada. Clint isn’t even a dog treat to me and they killed Black Widow over him. Fucking pissed.

12- “That suit does nothing for your ass” “No one was asking you to look, Tony!” “That’s America’s ass!” .... “That is America’s ass”

13- I actually really liked what they did with Bruce. I was excited to see all the benefits of the Hulk and Banner in one! That was pretty cool!

14- Strange’s reappearance was pretty badass. And Wong! I was excited to see him there! Was a bit surprised by Tilda Swinton’s appearance but okay. I didn’t hate it. Loved when she punched Bruce out of the Hulk lmfao that was so funny. I do like that she apparently does that to everyone lmao. I should write a fic where she punches Wong’s soul out of his body when the meet just because I think it’d be funny. And I’d love to see more Wong.

15- Steve vs Steve was really cool, I liked that. And fucking Hail HYDRA holy fucking shit I almost lost my ass. Couldn’t fucking believe he said that (and knowing that he just leaves that all for Peggy, his 4 month fling? Find this wildly out of character for him). Then he fucks right off with the tesseract omg.

16- Scott had some iconic one-liners. “That’s America’s ass!” “Okay I'm going to go inside you” omg. Ant Man was a joy to watch in this. I find Endgame used his character right.

17- I know I said it but Pepper Potts in the fucking suit y’all! I don’t know who was watching Morgan but also Pepper Potts in the fucking suit!!

18- That time travel shit made things entirely way too fucky. I knew that’s what they were going to do because that’s all that made sense, but I thought it was fucking stupid. And can Thanos even snap the stones out of existence? Because Tilda Swinton’s speech implied if he did something like that timelines would essentially do the funky chicken and die. She removed the time stone and shit was supposed to get weird, remove all 5 and what happens? Wtf? He fucking hid those stones. Did like Thor’s bit there though, killing Thanos. I think Nebula earned it more than him but I also think it was a good moment for Thor before his character became a fucking joke. 

19- narratively I understand why they started with Clint’s family dusting but I don’t give a fuck about Clint or his dusted family. I would have preferred watching a civilian lose his shit.

20- Steve you need therapy, stop leading therapy sessions. Especially when your advice is ‘move on’ and you literally go fucking nowhere in your life even after you went all over hell’s creations. Get this man a proper therapist he needs like 15!

21- lmfao Russos talking about gay representation and it was a guy talking about a date. I shit you the fuck not that was it. Gay. It was barely even there. Only straight men would ever assume that could possibly count as representation holy fuck. Like thanks for the blink you miss it shout out I guess. You remembered gays exist, wow!

22- Strange’s one finger thing, I liked that a lot actually. I think it functioned both as a great call to action and a nice reference to Stephen’s power.

23- Quick question, why was Tilda Swinton in New York? Because they went back too far for Strange- at first I when they mentioned 3 stones in NY I was like wait, when’s Strange’s story supposed to happen? After WS right? He can’t be in NY with the stone? But then Tilda showed up and I was like... why isn’t she in Nepal at the teaching sanctum? Because apparently the NY one isn’t a teaching sanctum and as far as I knew she was training Mordo and Wong there at this time so wtf? And it can’t be explained with ‘she knew she needed to be there’ because she punched Bruce out of hulk and he had to grovel to her to get the fucking thing from her and only managed because she knew Stephen gave up the stone willingly and would never do so without good reason because he’s the best fo the best. So like. Why was she there aside from plot convenience? That was a little too easy. Frankly, the whole plot was a touch too easy but still.

24- tired of aliens we’re supposed to relate to looking like humans but in pink while aliens we’re supposed to dislike are animalistic and non human looking. That’s a garbage trope.

25- The black woman in the elevator who made Tony and Steve is 100% Fury’s mother no one can convince me otherwise. I think the timeline matches up but I don’t care if it doesn’t she’s his mom now. He gets it all from his mama.

Bonus: stop trying to make Howard happen, Marvel, its not going to. I fucking hated that scene with Tony and Howard. What kind of bullshit abuse apology was that? Howard then, sure, he didn’t suck quite yet and seems to be aware of his own shortcomings. Howard in the future? Sorry, irredeemable crap. Narratively interesting irredeemable crap but irredeemable nonetheless. Tony panicking and saying his last name was Potts was great though lol. I’ll take it as evidence he took Pepper’s last name when they got married.

Bonus Bonus: I cried when Sam held the shield. I’ve been gunning for Sam to take over as Cap since we met him and everyone told me it’d be Bucky. I argued that we’ve already seen the story of a super soldier as Cap, it would be more interesting to watch Sam as a relatively normal guy take over as Cap. And I like Bucky traumatized and Winter Solider-y. I think he’s more interesting that way. Seriously though, Sam as Cap will be amazing and I didn’t expect to cry at that of all things but I did. I’m so excited to see him in that role!

Bonus Bonus Bonus for any sorry fucking soul who’s made it this far in I think I might update the Tony, T’Challa, and Their Gaggle of Children verse to include Morgan (but older) finding Tony only she’s his actual assed kid and no one believes it even though they have a striking resemblance. Which annoys them both because he got the media to buy all his other fake kids with easy to track down parents but not his actual kid. Ending with Nebula showing up and him claiming she’s his kid and everyone buying it.

[wander2theedge]

Spooky Tag Time!

I’ve been tagged by @starry-eyedandstormy. Since it’s officially the spookiest time of the year, celebrate by sharing your six favorite films or shows to indulge in during the season of the spooks (they can range from frightening and grotesque to the funniest and most light hearted thing imaginable), then try to tag six more followers/mutuals to keep it going!

Funny thing is I’m more into spooky video games then films or shows (such as Soma, Majora’s Mask, and Night in the Woods are my favorites as all are fun, and atmospheric, and chilling in all the right ways), but I do have these six to pull out and share with you guys.

1.) Alien (1979)

Even tho Aliens vs Predator is my fav out of the Alien movies and a gulity pleasure (its a fucking MASTERPIECE your critics!), the first Alien is just too good to pass up for the season; the visuals, the suspence, the practical effects, and SPACE! I loved the buildup and the big reveal of the Alien and how it left a big impact Signourney Weaver becoming one of my fav actresses

It also brings me back to when I was younger and spend hours and nights watching the SyFy (back then it was SciFi Channel, fucking miss those days) and AMC channels. A LOT of the stuff on wasn’t even good, but when it was great it was GREAT (Predator was on too), and its one of the things where I really started my love for monster and science fiction movies.

2.) Stranger Things (2016-20XX)

Can anyone believe it only took me NOW to binge watch Stranger Things for the first time ever? Well I caught up and it. IS. PHENOMENAL! Kids? FUCKING AWESOME! The adults *coughJoyceByersIsBadasscoughCOUGH* The teens always start off as the weakest part for me and the bullies were one dimensional but then they get better, but its such as strong series and those are relatively nitpicks from me. The characters are solid, the music and atmosphere are top notch, and the suspence and mystery are fucking awesome! I’m so excited to spend 9 hours next year for season 3!

3.) Pan’s Labyrinth (2006)

I saw Hellboy 1 and Mimic on scifi channel once, but I forgot about them quickly later on (Hellboy made a rebound with me after another rewatch but its nothing like its sequel. Mimic is just bleh). Pan’s Labyrinth cemented me as Guillermo del Toro becoming my one of three only favorite and likable directors/producers right now in hollywood, and huge fan of his work and styles. It really made me appreciate and look deep into the power of practical monster makeup and design, smart camera work and lighting, large sets and environment, Doug Jones, and revitilized my love of movie monsters when I fell out of it for a time. I love how dark this story gets with its visuals and storytelling (I hate it when kids and animals die on screen, but del toro is SOMEHOW the only guy who makes it work for me. HOWDOESHEFUCKINGDOIT???), but yet still be so emotional and be full of energy and passion. Its just so. Damn. GOOD. 

4.) Annihilation (2018)

THIS^^^

I have NEVER left a movie theater in terror and shakes since I saw War of the Worlds as a kid (aliens with needles sucking up human blood? WAY TOO MUCH FOR A 10 YEAR OLD). This ^^^ THIS MOVIE? FREAKED. ME. OUT. Both as a casual movie goer and as someone with an environmental and biology career ahead. It’s another scifi horror and it delivers. The atmosphere, the setup, the crazy ass shit these scientists experience is both beautiful and terrifying, and its just chilling in a goosebumps through your skeleton kind of feel. If I were to spoil it, I dont think I could describe it justice bc I couldnt convey how fearful it can be, but there are gorey bits in it that might get too much for some. 

Its sad that not alot of ppl saw it before I was put up on Netflix while it was still in cinemas, but I highly-HIGHLY-encourage ppl to watch this with a good ass sound system bc .... D A M N 

5.) Young Frankenstein (1974)

WHY AND HOW DID I NOT GROW UP WITH THIS? ITS THE BEST ALRIGHT! ITS FUNNY, MY KIND OF PARODY AND THIS DESTROYS ME EVERYTIME!

6.) Over the Garden Wall (2014)

Has anyone ever heard of “Scary Stories To Tell In The Dark”? Its a book full of anthology vignettes of gothic stories, folklore, and urban legends for kids? My parents would read them to us at night next to Goosebumps, Harry Potter, and lighter hearted kids books. I get that feel when I watch the mini-series with the brothers and their travels in the woods. Its just charming and weirdly engaging, and just odd in some places with this eerie undertone with the kiddy and goofy parts to even it out just right. Plus it has one of the best lines I was ever spoiled with but it got better in full context ever. 

PHEW THATSA LONG POST! 

I was tagged by @starry-eyedandstormy and for my 6 peeps, I’m going with @little----wolf, @ellimm27, @notagrimreaper, @tipolini, @platypiandi, and @cesspooldrool@. you dont have to do this if you dont wanna, but I wanna hear what you guys have to say about your favs if you feel like sharing.