#out of all of them Jay beat himself up the most. because what good is love if you can't convince them to stay?

[orionremastered]

do you think you would ever do a wingfic? cause i LOVE your writing style and your shifter fics have lead me to believe that you would be super good at it :]

like brucie would obviously have batwings cause ✨drama✨ and maybe for the rest of the fam they have wings that match their hair colors and personalities? if that makes sense 🫠 and maybe the reader has just super duper soft wings :}

if you ever decide to do something wingfic esq. just know that i would be the first to read :3

with love - @gothammybeloved

Rising from the dead with this one (I have twenty asks in my inbox)

Happy Holidays you mfs

Masterlist

Bruce

Def a bat. Causes him problems with the press having similar wings to Batman sometimes but there's a lot of other people with bat wings so it's generally a baseless accusation. This likely goes for the entire batfam because lots of people have similar bird wings. Ye

I'd think that he and Lucius Fox probably designed some kind of protection for bat wings (and then later of feather wings once he adopted Dick etc) because criminals would purposely or accidentally rip the membrane/break the bones of batfam wings.

Dick

Dick is a Blue Jay because;

A) blue does it need explanation

B) Blue Jays have elliptical wings which are shaped in a way that "allow birds to maneuver tightly in confined spaces and minimize drag for rapid ascent and descent". And it makes sense for Dick who is flexible to concerning degrees. So. Neat

Jason

We have two options here:

A) secretary bird bc they beat the shit out of snakes. I promise. Snakes = dirty criminals yk??? Also that bird looks like it reads Jane Austen

B) Andean Condor which is the largest bird of prey

because Jason is a brick shit house

Tim

Crow/Raven. Doesn't matter cause they're both smart and have been known to use things like tools and other stuff etc.

Also black would fit with the Red Robin suit I'd think so yeah 👍

Damian

Like father like son, so bat wings too. In the League I'd think they would treat the wings of the Al Ghul (I'd wanna say all have bat wings too? Cant see Ra's with bird wings) family as...

Idk but see the vision ok: painting the membrane with special paint that doesn't weigh them down, in gold intricate patterns. They'd have people do it for them but when moving to Gotham, Damian would probably keep doing it himself.

Steph

Red (or yellow) tailed black cockatoo. Cockatoos have a fun personality I think and the wings of the red tailed black cockatoo are black, fitting in with her suit, but also have a fun sprinkle of yellow colouring.

Idk what birds have purple wings I sorry

Cass

An owl with black wings (black banded owl, black barn owl etc.) because:

A) black . Black bat? Like?

B) owls are silent in flight which makes sense for Cass because she's very stealthy and quiet.

Duke

Keeping a trend of Australian birds I think he'd be a rainbow lorikeet. Lovable colourful birds that no one can find a reason to hate except for when there's fifty squawking next to your bedroom cough cough

Have mostly yellow wings. Bonus their chest feathers reflect in ultraviolet light to signal (! See what I did there) to other birds. Let's pretend their wings do that too

Alfred

Some kind of albatross. This man went from British special forces to a butler for billionaires in America. He has travelled. He has seen shit. He makes it look easy

Bonus most albatross species live up and over of 50 years which isn't the longest but still pretty cool.

[strawberrycamel]

ninjago seabound hurts. so much. what the fuck

[hhmnya]

PINING, when they like you.

gnreader⠀ ♡ㅤ fluffㅤ───ㅤ817wc

cw. death joke

lee heeseung refuses to let you carry anything. he’s made it a habit of grabbing anything that you’re holding and carrying it himself. whether it be shopping bags, your purse, a stuffed animal that he won for you, or groceries, he will be carrying it all. sure, it may be a little hard carrying 15 different bags of groceries up to your apartment but he doesn't mind. even as you complain, saying that you feel bad that he has to carry everything when you can help, he'll just laugh you off, asking you to let him do this for you. you do a lot for him (unbeknownst to you) and this is the least he can do.

park jongseong asks for your opinion on almost everything he does. he'll ask you if he should buy this shirt or that one, watch looks better, what he should eat. it’s like he lost all ability make choices for himself after he gained feelings for you, only trusting your opinion. maybe it's because he wants to have things that you like, who knows. what everyone does know is that the contanst buzzing coming from your phone? jay. he's most definitely texting you about whatever it is he feigns needing help choosing, but he can't help it if your opinion is the only one that matters to him.

sim jaeyun loves to go shopping with you; he literally begs to be able go even if you tell him that you're just going to window shop. not to mention the fact that he is so serious about shopping; he’ll put his phone on do not disturb, giving you his full attention. when you ask him was store he wants to go to he'll shake his head, claming that this trip is for you and if he reall needs something then he can go on his own time. he always ends up buying your stuff for you, waving you off as he gives the cashier his money.

park sunghoon calls you every single night just so that he can fall asleep to your voice. in the beginning he asks you about your day, listening intently and asking follow up questions. he wants to hear your voice for as long as possible, especially when he went the whole day without talking to you. when you ask about his day, though, he gives you the most basic answer possible and moves the conversation back to you. and every morning, without fail, he claims that he didn't mean to fall asleep but your voice is way too soothing for your own good. you figure that he's not telling the full truth after you hear him say goodnight and he doesn't hang up the phone.

kim seonwoo takes more pictures of you than he does of himself. you swear when you caught a glipse of his gallery you saw an album named 'yn' that featured over seven thousand photos of you. which yes, you saw correctly, he has a very full folder full of pictutes of you. most of them aren't even good but he would rather die than delete the ten, nearly identical, photos of you laughing or the blurry video he got while you were ugly crying because of some movie. he also uses them to tease you—laughing when you tell him to delete it. yeah.. he's almost all out of storage, at this point he's going to buy a burner phone just for photos of you.

yang jungwon loves to texts you updates about his day. if you think jay texts you a lot, oh man, jungwon beats him by twenty miles. he'll tell you his plans who they're with, what he's planning on eating, the cute cat family he saw on the street (pictures included). this man tells you everything, every thought he has it feels like. honestly, he only bothers going out so that he has an excuse to text you, it makes him smile brightly at his phone when he sees your responses. when you start sending him updates about your day? he gets so happy, it's his favorite part of the day to hear from you now, nothing else could ever compare.

nishimura riki does not know what personal space is. he's always touching you in some way, even if it's subtle, like your shoulders pressing together when you're sitting on the couch, watching a movie. when you walk somewhere together, you have to push him away multiple times because he's practically on top of you with how close he is. when you're hanging out with friends, he tends to wrao an arm around your shoulder or lean his head against yours. your friends tease him for it, saying that he's practically apart of you now. he glares at them playfully, gripping your hand in his as he pulls you away (he just really wants to be alone with you).

[lloydskywalkers]

three sword style

Or, Lloyd and his evolving relationship with what it means to choose a weapon, as supervised by Kai. listen I know Wu technically gives them all their new weapons in season 11 according to some random book referenced in the ninjago wiki (or at least Lloyd’s sword) but you know who ACTUALLY has a degree in making weapons and canonically has made a golden sword SO. My canon now. (also spot the brain rot I infected myself with in the title) 

Lloyd grows up in a world of weaponry and at the speed of light. 

There are worse ways to grow up, maybe. There are also better ones — one where kids get to grow up instead blasting into teenager-hood in the span of seconds — but Lloyd doesn’t like to complain about where he’s ended up. 

Second to the speed of light thing, though, the weapons part is pretty big. 

Weapons determine the single biggest turning point in his life, after all. It’s the Golden Weapons that make him the Green Ninja, a title that’s a lot more important than Lloyd’s ever been. It’s also that particular title that makes Lloyd the weapon, so that’s fun. Ninjago’s prophesied emergency failsafe, the Green Ninja — that’s him. 

On a nicer note, it’s the Fangblade that gets him a big brother, and proves that there’s someone out there who cares about Lloyd over some stupid weapon, so hah. 

Getting back to the point, though—

Weapons. Lloyd’s been making do without one, and he’s been making pretty good do, thank you very much. He’s got his power, and he’s got himself. That’s all the weapon Lloyd needs. 

But no one else seems to agree, and since ninety percent of the time whatever prophecy-of-doom crops up this month involves cursed weaponry of some sort, they all figure it’s a good a reason as any to stick Lloyd with a reliable weapon. 

And while wielding all the elements is one thing, wielding every kind of weapon at once would be kind of difficult, even for his dad. 

So Lloyd finally gets an actual, for-real, decision that he gets to make all by himself. 

It’s a monumentous occasion — and yes, that is a word, Nya, Lloyd knows some stuff — so if Lloyd was smart he’d treasure it and take his time. 

With that in mind, it takes all of thirty seconds for Lloyd to choose. This is only mildly insulting to some parties. 

“Fine, sure, go with the most basic pick in the world,” Jay scoffs. “Swords. Boring.”

“Sounds like you’re just jealous,” Kai shoots back.

“Jealous of swords? Please. I just thought Lloyd was a little more creative than that.”

“I like swords,” Lloyd says, at a loss. 

“Jay is only relieved that no one will one-up his nunchuck expertise, now,” Zane smiles. 

Jay sputters indignantly. “No one’s one-upping me, I’m the best there is!” 

“Uh-huh,” Cole shakes his head. “Well, if that’s what Lloyd wants, that’s the end of it.” His mouth quirks. “Means more training time for Kai, anyways.” 

“More training to be better than you,” Kai retorts. 

“Like the rest of you, Lloyd will continue to work toward mastering at least the basics of any weapon,” Sensei Wu sighs. “A ninja confined to one weapon alone—”

“Is a dead ninja,” Jay nods.

Sensei Wu cuts his eyes at him. “That is not how I was going to finish.”

“The point stands though, right?”

“The point,” Sensei Wu pinches the bridge of his nose. “Is that while Lloyd will continue to train with all of you, focusing on swordsmanship will become the priority. So yes, in a way. More training for Kai.”

Lloyd rubs the back of his neck. “Sorry…?”

“Why are you sorry?” Kai beams, more proud than smug. “I finally get an official katana apprentice. We’re gonna be awesome.”

And that alone, Lloyd thinks, makes it worth all the complaining. 

“Great,” Jay throws his arms up. “Now we’re stuck with two slice ‘em dice ‘em ninjas.”

“Oh, c’mon,” Cole says. “It’s Kai, how dangerous can he be.”

“I resent that,” Kai says. “Just because you beat me once or twice—”

“Try thirteen times, and counting.”

“—it does not mean I’m not as dangerous as you,” Kai narrows his eyes. 

“Oh yeah? Wanna prove it?”

“Bring it on, rock man.”

“Not in the kitchen, for FSM’s sake—“

Whether or not Cole beats him (which he does, pretty badly, because Cole is kinda terrifying like that) Lloyd knows that to some degree, Kai is dangerous. Very dangerous, with or without his swords.

It’s hard to think of Kai like that, though. When Lloyd thinks of Kai, he thinks of warm arms wrapped tight around him in the Fire Temple. Thinks of the first hugs he’s gotten from someone other than his father that felt like home. Thinks of protection — thinks safe. Thinks family. 

He’s wanted to be like Kai for a while, now. So yeah. It’s an easy choice. 

Plus, swords are way cool.

______

Kai starts training him in Dareth’s dojo. It takes about a week for them to get banished to the roof of their apartment, which is mostly Lloyd’s fault — but Kai’s the one supposed to be teaching him, so he can take the blame this time. 

…well, maybe Lloyd’s the one who keeps losing his grip on the katana, but that’s not quite his fault, either.  

Kai is better than basically any swordsman on this side of Ninjago in years, if not all Ninjago. Lloyd knows this because Uncle Wu told him so, and because Kai wipes the floor with him the first, second, and twenty-ninth time they spar.

“The point is to keep your grip on the katana, you know,” Kai says, as Lloyd retrieves his sword from where it went flying (again). “What kind of hold it that supposed to be, butterfingers deluxe?”

“You said not to grip it too tight,” Lloyd complains. 

Kai rolls his eyes. “Yeah, ‘cause you had it in a death hold. I didn’t say, ‘let go and let it fly���.”

“I didn’t let it fly, you knocked it out of my hand!”

“Aha, so you’re admitting I won. Again.”

“N-no!” Lloyd protests. “I’m just warming up. I’ll show you this time.” 

But as Kai takes his stance again, his own katana held with a kind of grace Lloyd has zero idea how to ever accomplish, Lloyd thinks he might be a bit of a lost cause. 

It’s difficult, because every time he goes to swing his sword, his power thrums in his blood, in his hands, always ready to lash out. It’s quickly become a habit, to start every fight slinging green blasts around. Lloyd’s already grown fond of the little bell-like sounds his power makes, the steady pulse as bright green builds in his palms. 

Lloyd is the Green Ninja, after all. His power is what makes him, well, him. He’s his own best weapon — he’s the one the prophecy needs to make things right.

Kai keeps putting weapons in his hands, anyways. 

Training katanas, mostly. He got to hold the Sword of Fire once, before his dad took it. It was beautiful — Lloyd kinda gets why Kai’s so up in arms about it getting stolen.

That and the whole don’t-give-Garmadon-the-Golden-Weapons thing.

Kai seems confused that Lloyd remembers it, which is weird because the Golden Weapons are kind of a big deal, but Lloyd decides to chalk it up to all the other weirdness in his life. 

The first true katana Kai ever gives Lloyd is…not quite as cool as the Sword of Fire, and definitely not as beautiful, but in a way that Lloyd likes. 

“We’re kinda short on weapons,” Kai admits, rubbing the back of his neck. “And I don’t exactly have access to smithing equipment right now, which means you’re stuck with one of my old ones. Sorry.”

“Why are you sorry?” Lloyd adjusts his hands around the hilt, taking an experimental swing. “This is a great sword!”

“Yeah, okay, liar — and don’t swing it around like that, you look like you’re waving a pool noodle.” 

Kai grabs his hands, forcing Lloyd’s arms to hold steady.

“Like this, okay?” Kai says. “We’re gonna start by practicing single movements.” 

“Aw,” Lloyd visibly wilts. “More katas? I thought I was gonna get to learn some cool moves.”

“This is a cool move. If you’re good, you finish things in one hit,” Kai says. “One strike, and the fight’s over.”

“Like a headshot,” Lloyd nods.

“No,” Kai rolls his eyes. “This is not a video game. This is a real sword, and you’re going to learn to use it right.”

“And then we can do the cool moves?”

Kai narrows his eyes. “Do your katas or I’m firing you.”

Lloyd sticks his tongue out at him. “You can’t fire me. I’m the Green Ninja.”

“Yeah? I’ll demote you to Green Washer-of-Dishes for the rest of the month.”

“No! You can’t, Nya and I have a deal!” 

Jokes aside, Lloyd is sure to remind Kai, as he scrubs dishes and Kai dries them, that he does take training seriously.

He takes all his training seriously. It’s kind of his only job. 

Lloyd practices hits until his knuckles split and scab, masters high kicks with shins colored violent blues and purples, forms green starbursts in his hands until his fingers crack and bleed. 

When his palms blister from the sword hilt on top of it all, Kai makes him hold still until he’s wrapped the first-aid bandage around his hands at least five times, then shoves his old gloves on him when he starts to form calluses.

He wants to argue that he doesn’t need them, but Lloyd still wears the gloves everyday and tucks them away each night, storing them with the other few, treasured things he’s been gifted.

______

The longer he trains with swords, the more Lloyd gains calluses and nicked fingers and perpetually smells a little like cloves. 

That last part Lloyd enjoys, though he’ll never admit it. He’s not about to go and tell people he enjoys cleaning stuff, no thanks. 

But there’s something nice about helping Kai take care of the katanas, in a relaxing sort of way. The wood-smoke tang of cloves smells like home, which Lloyd treasures, because home isn’t something he’s very used to. 

Treasures is probably an understatement. Lloyd latches onto it like he’s starving. Part of it’s because this is something he gets to have with Kai, all by himself. He’s never had something like that before, either — a special thing that’s shared just with him. 

Well, maybe besides the green gi, but the Green Ninja is something that belongs to everyone. Whatever Lloyd does when he puts the green gi on is everyone’s business, since it determines the fate of the world or something like that, and it doesn’t really even feel like his. Not yet, at least. 

But sitting cross-legged in the weapons room while Kai teaches him how to clean katanas without damaging them — that belongs to Lloyd. 

He learns a lot with it too, because Kai always starts rambling about ten minutes in — not the confident, cocky way he does sometimes in front of everyone else, but in an honest way that Lloyd isn’t entirely sure he even means to be. 

“—not the best oil, but it works when you’re in a pinch. S’what my parents left behind, at the shop, so it’s good enough.”

Lloyd looks up at him, curious. He keeps quiet — Kai and Nya don’t talk much about their parents, if at all. Lloyd gets it, of course, but it makes the little tidbits they share valuable. 

“I don’t remember a lot about my parents,” Kai continues. “But I remember some things. About my dad. He was a great smith, I know that much. Could make about anything. Swords were his favorite, though.” 

Uncle Wu’s candlelight casts Kai’s eyes with a glow that makes it seem like he’s on fire himself, flickering and fading. He looks very far away, all of the sudden, and Lloyd has the urge to grab for his arm and make him stay here. 

“Guess I latched onto that,” Kai smiles ruefully, and he’s back again. “Never could reach his level, but I learned how to make an okay sword.”

Lloyd chews on his lip. He knows all about latching on to your parents — wanting to be great at the things they are.

That maybe, if you’re good enough, they’ll be proud enough to come back. 

He doesn’t think that’s a happy thing to say, though, so he tells Kai instead, “I think your swords are great.”

Kai’s lips quirk. “Uh-huh. Then you better treat them like it.”

“I do,” Lloyd protests. He gestures at the katana across his lap. “See? I did it perfect this time.”

Kai nods his head at a spot Lloyd noticeably missed. He flushes.

“Almost perfect.”

“Practice, young student,” Kai says, in a gravely voice that’s probably supposed to sound like Uncle Wu. “A thousand hours of practice for you.”

“Ugh,” Lloyd groans. “All I do is practice. Practice practice practice, and then I’m still not enou—”

He cuts off. Oops. Maybe Kai’s honestly is a little too contagious. 

Kai goes quiet, hands stilling on the katana. There’s a deep furrow between his eyes as he stares at Lloyd, in a way that makes him feel a little like a bug under a microscope. Or that Kai can see right through him, which is bad, because all Lloyd’s got in him is a bunch of tangled thoughts and worries and nothing an actual ninja should have. 

“You know,” he says, carefully. “We probably need to stock up on the good oil. I’m kinda running low.”

Lloyd knows darn well Kai has enough choji oil to get them through an apocalypse. 

“Yeah?”

“Yeah,” Kai nods. “If we go now, we can probably hit the convenience store, too. Get a sugar boost before—”

“I’m in!” Lloyd shoots to his feet before he can stop himself, any protests forgotten. Training has included a healthy diet lately, so Lloyd doesn’t collapse and pass out because his blood’s eighty percent sugar — Zane’s words, not his. 

If he needs to get his blood sugar up, why can’t he just eat sugar all the time? It makes no sense. 

“Do not tell the others,” Kai hisses, as they make their way into the city. “Especially Cole, if you don’t wanna lose your sweets before you can take a bite. We’re just getting polish for katanas, as far as you know.”

“I know nothing,” Lloyd says obediently. “Hey, do you think we could use olive oil on the katanas?”

Kai’s stare could heat iron. “I’ll kill you.” 

“It was a joke! A joke, heh.”

______

For all that Lloyd’s life revolves around training to defeat anyone and everyone, the guys are still weirdly protective. Over anyone and everyone, including Lloyd himself. 

“C’mon, I can handle the cool attacks,” Lloyd complains, as Kai drags him into place.

“They’re not cool — okay, they’re kinda cool — but that’s not what we’re learning now,” Kai sighs. “You’re learning Aikido. Well, a form of it, technically. It’s focused on defending yourself, but in a way that lessens the chances of injuring your attacker.”  

Lloyd frowns. “Isn’t that counterintoo — counterintuitive?”

“Big words today,” Kai mutters. He shakes his head. “And it’s counterproductive, by the way, but — no,  because now that we’re training, half your attackers are us, and I’d like to leave practice with my arms intact.”

Lloyd grins. “So you’re admitting I’m better than you.” 

“Don’t put words in my mouth,” Kai says pointedly.

“Don’t need to. You’ve already admitted defeat.”

“And, brat—” Lloyd yelps as Kai digs his knuckles into his hair. “Defending yourself is incredibly important.”

As they settle back into position, Kai pauses, a muscle in his jaw working. He looks as if he’s having an internal argument with himself, before finally sighing. 

“The thing about any weapon, but especially swords,” he says, correcting Lloyd’s grip on the katana. “Is that they can be used a lot of ways. But the one thing you never, ever want to forget—”

And Kai’s tone grows serious, his jaw tensing again. “Is that they can kill.”

Lloyd looks down, to the sharp edges of the blade. It suddenly feels a bit heavier, and the room just a bit darker. 

“The way we’re training you, the way we were trained, we don’t always — we try to avoid it.” Kai’s voice wavers, and for a moment, Lloyd remembers that Kai isn’t all that much older than he is. 

Well, now, especially. 

“But sometimes, it’s…you don’t really…well.” He lets out a breath. “This is a sword. It can take a life really quick, if you aren’t careful. And sometimes, you don’t get the choice to be careful or not.”

Lloyd swallows. He hasn’t thought about it much — hasn’t wanted to, but it lives in his mind like a terrible itch he can’t get rid of. 

He’s no stranger to the idea of killing someone. Darkley’s was blunt as it was cold. But as a ninja, it’s suddenly realer than it ever was in school. 

As the Green Ninja, with his destiny drawn out in front of him, it’s pretty much unavoidable. 

He’s going to kill his father, or he’s going to die. 

Kai’s hands grab tight around his shoulders. “We’re gonna do everything we can to make sure you don’t end up in that situation, okay?” He gives Lloyd a small, strained smile. “Don’t ever feel like you have to change who you are, just ‘cause you’re a ninja now.”

How do you know who I am, Lloyd wants to ask. How do you know I’m not a murderer? How do you know I’m not awful? 

Kai’s eyes are impossibly kind and far, far too knowing. 

“But,” and his tone grows serious again. “If it’s your life or theirs.” 

Lloyd feels a bit like the oxygen’s been sucked out of the room. 

“Promise me. You have to promise — you will always, always choose your own.” 

Lloyd stares back. Kai gives him a little shake.

“You promise me?”

Finally, as if moved by puppet strings, Lloyd nods. 

“I promise,” he rasps. 

Kai looks relieved, but it’s not quite in a happy way. “As long as you come back alive, that’s what matters. I don’t care what else happens — you come back alive, and we’re good.” 

“Okay,” Lloyd says. His eyes feel wet. It’s strange, someone caring so much about something like that.  

“Which is why,” Kai says, finally stepping back as his tone lightens. “You’re gonna nail that block this time. Or I’m making you polish every weapon in the dojo again.”

“Oh, no,” Lloyd stares at him in horror. “I’ve been practicing that stupid move for hours!”

“And you’ll be cleaning weapons for hours if you don’t get it.” 

“You suck,” Lloyd grumbles. “Worst teacher of all time.” 

“Uh-huh,” Kai claps him on the back, and Lloyd lets out his own sigh of relief at the lightened atmosphere. “You’re the one that picked swords, buddy.”

______

Kai’s a hypocrite, though, and Lloyd could hate him for it, because as they slide down the snowy mountain-side, Lloyd’s body clashing against his family in ways he’d never, ever let it if he had control, he has to watch as Kai — again — chooses a life other than his own. 

Because Kai doesn’t have the experience Morro does, but he’s better with a sword, he’s better than anyone Lloyd knows, and he loses. And Lloyd’s arm drags the Sword of Sanctuary up and Kai is a stupid, stupid, stupid hypocrite—

Lloyd’s angry enough that tearing control back from Morro is easy. 

He knows a thing or two about swords himself, and Morro’s holding it wrong, anyways. 

______

Training had already taken a hit after they lose Zane, for obvious reasons. Everything had taken a hit after they lost Zane, and between the tournament and Morro and everything else Lloyd’s pointedly ignoring, it’s suddenly been ages since he’s had a proper sword lesson. 

Kai decides to make up for it by finally teaching him the fun stuff. 

“Don’t — call it that in front of Cole,” Kai grunts over the loud screech of metal on metal. His knee bends, just the slightest tell—

Lloyd falls back, dancing away from Kai’s returning strike. He knows now, just how dangerous Kai can be — he’d like to forget it, but it’d be doing him a disservice. 

Besides, Lloyd’s had his body dragged left and right over Ninjago, used as the worst kind of weapon to hurt the people he loves, and they still trust him. Being on the dangerous end of Chen’s stupid staff is nothing to being on the dangerous end of a katana Kai’s made himself, and Lloyd’s determined to hold onto the faith he’s had since that day in the volcano. 

Kai won’t hurt him. 

He’ll kick his ass in training, though, so Lloyd had better get back with the show. 

He retaliates with a feint to the right — too obvious for Kai, but enough to steal his attention for Lloyd to land a high kick to his side.

“Watch that,” Kai scolds, forced two steps backs. 

“Why?” Lloyd grins over the edge of Kai’s blade as he catches his blow dead-on. “Scared I’m gonna beat you too soon?”

Kai snorts. “You aren’t beating me at all, shortstack—”

“Not short—”

“And,” Kai’s katana moves so fast Lloyd barely manages to dodge, rolling into a somersault before surging back up to meet his backstrike. “You’re advertising your weak point.”

Lloyd frowns. “S’not a weak point.”

Kai’s katana flashes — Lloyd moves right just before he realizes it’s a feint, cursing himself — then the hilt of his katana is smacking hard against a bone in his right ankle. 

There’s a hot flash of pain as his body completely betrays him, his ankle buckling and sending him stumbling with a yelp.

Kai’s expression isn’t gloating, at least. On the downside, he has that sad kind of look that usually means he’s feeling guilty. 

“It’s not usually that bad,” he tries, even as his cheeks flare hot. 

“It doesn’t matter,” Kai shakes his head. “You need to protect that. Make sure no one knows it’s a weak point but you. Putting it in reach of your opponent is a bad way to do that.” 

Lloyd grits his teeth, but he knows Kai’s right. He’ll never regret pushing himself the way he did, clambering up the tower steps on a broken ankle. The fate of Ninjago was a lot heavier on his shoulders than any thoughts of consequences. 

It still sucks, that it’ll never heal quite right. 

But it isn’t like he’s the only one with an old wound turned weak spot, he reminds himself, as he wraps his aching ankle once again. Jay’s got zig-zagging lightning scars all down his arms that ache during heavy rain. Nya can only rotate her arm so far before her shoulder goes numb, a souvenir from a broken arm. Cole’s the worst, maybe, with how he’s strained himself lifting impossibly heavy weights, fractured fingers and broken bones that throb in the cold. 

Kai’s got his own share of weaknesses, though he works hard to hide them. Lloyd’s managed to pick out most — some of them he’s helped treat himself.

He doesn’t like to think about those times, though.

“So I’ve got an idea for a move,” Kai grins at him, once Lloyd’s ankle is stable. “It’s gonna take some timing, but since I don’t have a weak spot there — you’re gonna run and launch.”

Lloyd tilts his head. “Launch off your right ankle?”

“No,” Kai rolls his eyes. “I’m gonna go down for a handspring. When my legs are low, you’re gonna jump on, so when I shoot up—”

“Ooh, I go flying,” Lloyd concludes. 

“Exactly.” 

“Let’s do it! I’m gonna look so cool—”

“Okay, but we’re gonna look stupid as it gets if we don’t get the — timing, timing!” 

It takes about five tries to get it right. That’s all they agree on admitting to — the less said about the forgotten sixth and seventh tries, the better. 

But on try eight, Lloyd finally feels his left and right foot connect with Kai’s just as he hits the lowest point of the handspring — and this time, he remembers to bend his own knees and launch up, and with a sudden weightlessness, he’s flying. 

“Slash, slash, don’t forget to slash!”

 Years of training are the only reason Lloyd’s able to get his arms to obey him fast enough, the wind-up pulling on his shoulders before he sweeps the katana down, slashing out—

“Yes!” Kai’s cheer abruptly turns to a yelp as he loses his balance, crumpling to the floor. Lloyd’s already sprawled across the training mats, since landing was a whole lot harder than he’d planned for — but the training dummy is cut in half. One perfect hit. 

“Now, if we can just manage that in an actual fight, we’ll look awesome,” Kai grins.

Lloyd glances at him. “Are you gonna fall flat on your face then, too?”

Red stains his cheeks. “No,” Kai sputters. “That was — you didn’t see that.”

“Uh-huh,” Lloyd snorts. He tilts his head, considering the unfortunate training dummy. “Y’know, I bet I can manage a flip in there,” he mutters. 

Kai shrugs. “Yeah, probably.” He lips quirk up. “It’d look pretty cool. Y’know what, let’s go for it. I wanna see the look on Jay’s face when you flip down on him during sparring.”

______

It takes Kai all of ten minutes into the next fight to start regretting that one. 

“Got a runner!” Jay calls, as one of the thugs they’ve been rounding up breaks loose from where Zane’s kindly explaining the terms of surrender and Cole’s standing with his lava punch ready to show them what happens if they don’t agree. 

“I got ‘im!” Lloyd calls, darting after the masked man. 

He tugs his katana free from its sheathe, mind already racing. The time spent on his own, guarding his own back, gave Lloyd the rare opportunity to learn things in ways the guys probably would’ve had his head for.

With the lessons Kai’s drilled into him, the steady form of swordsmanship driven into his nerves, Lloyd’s found a creativity in tweaking things to match his style. 

So when the thug sprints past a number of abandoned boxes, scrabbling as he narrowly avoids stumbling on the concrete, Lloyd’s already got the perfect move in mind. 

Step, step, jump — tuck in tight, so there’s enough momentum to rotate at least twice — and bam, it’s like a wind-up toy. The more spins he gets in, the harder his landing is, disarming the guy with a perfect slash while kicking his teeth in. 

Neat and effective, in Lloyd’s opinion.

Sadly, his opinion is not shared. 

Kai sputters. “What was that?”

“Cool as heck, that’s what it was,” Lloyd grins. 

Kai is supremely unimpressed. “What did I say about wasting movements?”

Lloyd shuffles. “Don’t…do it?”

“Then why, exactly, did you feel the need to flip three — not one but three — times before striking?”

“Because,” Lloyd says. “It was cool. As heck.”

Kai pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers. Lloyd valiantly bites back any comments about him taking after Sensei Wu. 

“There’s a difference between adding your own flare,” he finally says. “And squandering your energy like a spinning top.”

“Squandering — spinning top—” Lloyd sputters. “Hey, I got the guy just fine, didn’t I? I didn’t squander anything.”

“And what’re you gonna do if someone wises up and snipes you mid-flip?”

“Who’s gonna snipe me, there are no snipers around, dummy—”

“There could be, hypothetically!”

“Hypothetically, please. You’re just jealous ‘cause you can only do two flips—”

“I can do sixteen if I want, I’m just smarter—”

Despite his arguments, Lloyd does resolve to try for restraint. Unfortunately, Lloyd’s also got the memory of a goldfish, so Kai should really know better. 

He just can’t help it. The next time they clash with a run-of-the-mill villain who’s stealing secret plans for bombs or whatever ridiculous thing it is that week, Lloyd finds himself on one building with the criminal on the next. 

The solution is obvious. Kai doesn’t agree. 

“FIVE FLIPS?! THAT WAS A THREE-FOOT DISTANCE!”

Lloyd carefully places the now-unconscious criminal on the rooftop, stands back up, and wisely back-flips the heck outta there. 

______

As his sword movements grow more complicated and the green power take a near-constant presence in his veins, the gentle pulse of energy as familiar as a friend, Lloyd grows stronger, too.

This kickstarts an entirely new problem, because Lloyd can’t go five steps without ruining something, it seems. 

In his defense, he doesn’t start breaking swords at a criminal rate until after Morro, so Lloyd’s gonna blame it all on him.

He stares blankly at the katana in his hands — or the remains of it, to be exact. Half the blade is somewhere across the street, where it went skidding after Lloyd’s final hit snapped it clean in two. 

Kai stares just as blankly when Lloyd wordlessly offers the pieces up. 

“Okay,” he finally says. “Maybe I went wrong with the balance, or something? This was probably just a fluke.”

He turns it over, frowning. “Wouldn’t hurt to reinforce the next one, I guess…”

Reinforcements or not, it takes the third shattered sword for Kai to wise on. 

“I’m so sorry,” Lloyd warbles tearfully, the remains of Kai’s careful metalwork cradled in his arms. “I don’t know what happened, I was just swinging it, and it went — it went—”

“It went in six different directions, apparently,” Kai mutters. 

Lloyd slumps. “It was only four this time,” he mutters. 

“I guess this is what we get for training you as well as we did,” Kai says. “Cole and his super strength, I’ll never be free of it.”

“Didn’t he beat you by tripping you flat on your face?”

“I don’t wanna hear it from you, oh cruel destroyer of my swords,” Kai scowls. 

“I didn’t mean to!” Lloyd protests. “I tried really hard this time, but the last guy had this giant bat, and I thought I could cut it in half, but I swung so hard I screwed up my strike and went…in six…different directions…”

Kai scrubs a hand over his face. He glances at Lloyd, eyes searching. 

“But you beat him?”

“Duh,” Lloyd says. The faith people have in him.

“And you didn’t get hit yourself?”

Lloyd shakes his head. “Not a scratch.” It’s not even a lie this time.

“Then I guess it was a noble sacrifice,” Kai sighs. “I can live with that.”

The katana’s sad remnants join the equally sad — and steadily growing — pile of scrap metal made by Lloyd’s awful sword skills. They have a pretty fun time melting it all down though, watching the metal bubble as Kai starts drafting the next run of layered steel he’ll shape into a katana. 

“I’m gonna be a master katana maker at this rate,” he huffs, wiping at his forehead. Lloyd, who’s hanging over the forge to watch the different colors the liquid metal makes, taps lazily at his knee with his foot. The forge flares brighter as Kai’s fire does, and he mumbles a distracted thanks. 

“A master hothead,” Lloyd says. Kai rolls his eyes. “If I ever figure out how to be a master swordsman, maybe you can take a break and figure out how to make other weapons.”

“Hey, I’m great at making other weapons.”

“Yeah, like ‘block of metal’ and ‘triangle of metal’ and ‘weird rectangle of metal’, and—”

“You’re gonna get a stick for next battle if you keep that up,” Kai growls, but his lips are twitching.

“Hypotenuse of metal,” Lloyd whispers.

“The heck, that’s not even a shape—” 

The forge grows steadily hotter as Kai works, bright sparks popping and steam hissing up in little curling wisps. It doesn’t bother Lloyd too much — ever since that day in the volcano, the press of heat is more like a second skin. He’s nowhere near as durable as Kai, of course, who could probably hop in the forge and come out with only a sunburn, but it’s enough to feel cozy instead of sweaty and dizzy. 

“Y’know, you don’t have to use a sword,” Kai says hesitantly, as he inspects a hammer. “There are a lot of other weapons that would fit your style. If you ever wanna try out a spear like Nya, that might suit you pretty well.”

“No!” Lloyd says sharply. Biting his tongue, he amends, “I’ve already been training with swords for forever. I don’t wanna change my whole style for something else.”

Kai eyes him shrewdly, but his lips finally twitch up in amusement. “If you say so,” he says. “But I swear, break my sword again and you will get a stick for your next weapon. Or chopsticks. A butter knife—”

______

Lloyd gets a new sword, of course. And another one. He might grouse and complain, but Kai doesn’t truly get angry about the swords. He does, however, get very angry over Lloyd’s total idiocy with what happens to said shattered swords. 

His first mistake is the usual one — Lloyd swings a bit too hard at a sloppy angle and there’s a high-pitched screech as the sword dies a sad death, splitting in two. 

Lloyd stares blankly at the now much-shorter katana in his hands, which is his second mistake. The delay costs him, and he scrambles to duck the thief’s vicious punch, their own sword having been knocked away in the scuffle. Their boot comes up, swinging for his head, and Lloyd springs back, landing palms-first on the floor and launching himself out of range. 

He also, unthinking, drops the broken katana — mistake number three. 

His fourth mistake is the worst one possible, because Lloyd brings his hand up to block what he’s sure will be another punch, only to get slashed by the jagged end of the katana he just dropped.

A sharp, burning pain explodes across his hand, and Lloyd stifles a shriek. 

Stupid, stupid, stupid move. 

The thief comes in for round two, Lloyd’s own snapped katana glinting in the fluorescent building lights, and Lloyd freezes. It occurs to him that he should probably just go ahead and hit the thief with an burst of green, but that’s also when Kai mows them down with a viciousness that reminds Lloyd — Kai always goes easy on him in training. 

“I had him handled,” he still protests, after the thief’s been hauled off to prison (or the hospital, possibly).

Kai ignores him, sheathing his katana and storming his way. 

He grabs Lloyd’s hand before he can protest, pulling back the torn fabric of his glove and slapping his own hood against the gash on his hand to stem the bleeding. 

“What did I say,” Kai says angrily. 

Lloyd flinches at the stinging pain in his hand, and tries to glare back. 

Kai’s having none of it. “Your sword is supposed to take the hits,” he snaps. “Not you!” 

“It did take the hit,” Lloyd finally throws back. “I just broke it, and — I was fine!”

“You hand’s bleeding all over my hood, that is not fine!”

“Then take your hood off and it won’t get blood on it!”

“My hood isn’t what I’m worried about!”

By the time Zane’s stitched Lloyd’s hand up, wincing barely kept at a minimum, Kai’s cooled down.

Somewhat. 

“It was an accident, okay?” Lloyd says, for the billionth time. “I didn’t realize he had a weapon. I wasn’t trying to sacrifice my hand, or whatever.”

“Oh yeah? ‘Cause that sounds a lot like something you’d do.”

“Coming from you, that’s somewhat hypocritical,” Zane murmurs. 

Lloyd snickers. Kai turns to Zane in utter betrayal. 

Of course, this means that Lloyd’s next lesson is how to treat sword wounds in emergency situations, in painstaking and excruciating detail. His hand stings every time he grasps the katana handle for solid week, though, so Lloyd takes equally careful notes.

______

Lloyd goes and breaks another three katanas after that. At this point, he kinda thinks Kai should just give up and let him go into battle weapon-less again. You don’t need weapons to do Spinjitzu. The green power won’t break, and Lloyd certainly won’t split into six pieces.

(He hopes.)

Kai keeps putting swords in his hands anyways. 

Lloyd could always just say no — he’s supposed to be leader or something, he can make his own decisions.

But he thinks of sparring sessions and smelling like cloves every other evening, thinks of the tiny dragons Kai still takes the time to carve into his katana handles, and throwing all that away would feel as great as sawing off his own arm. 

So he picks the katana up, does his stupid katas, and promises to do better this time.

That doesn’t magically fix things, of course. 

“How,” Kai says blankly, staring at the katana that now lies in a record eight pieces. 

“Um.” Lloyd twists his fingers together. “I definitely didn’t use it to prop open a door like you said never to do.”

Kai gives him a smile that shows exactly all of his teeth. 

“You have five seconds to run.”

______

All that training on treating sword wounds pays off. Possibly more than learning how to fight with a sword in the first place, when Kai drops in the middle of battle with a wicked slash across his lower thigh. 

“Of all the — stupid, embarrassing—”

“Shut up,” Lloyd says tightly. He’s already focusing half his energy on not throwing up at the amount of blood soaking between his fingers where they’re pressed tightly over Kai’s leg. “Stop moving, I gotta see if it — if it hit an artery.”

“It better not have,” Kai pants, wincing as Lloyd presses down harder. “If it hit an artery I’m screwed.”

“Shut up.” 

Lloyd’s heartbeat is a thunderstorm in his ears, panic welling up in his throat as Kai’s blood swims in his vision. 

“Hey, hey,” Kai’s hand falters, then clasps Lloyd’s own. “M’gonna be fine. Takes a lot more than a stupid leg wound to take me out.” 

“That’d be so lame,” Lloyd breathes, somewhat hysterically. He’s torn his own belt off for a tourniquet, which is step one, he thinks — hood can go around the actual wound, and if he steals Kai’s belt, then he can double reinforce it— 

“I can always cauterize,” Kai says shakily, sounding like he’d rather do anything else in the world. “It’ll be — move!”

Lloyd manages to roll them both out of the way as the assassin who nailed Kai comes in to finish the job, sword scraping sparks across the rooftop. Lloyd flashes a furious glare over his shoulder, mind racing as he holds himself in front of Kai. 

“Here.” The familiar hilt of Kai’s katana slaps against Lloyd’s open hand — the other is quick to follow suit. “Remember, double wielding — better for defense.”

Lloyd nods on instinct. He adjusts his grip on both swords, the blood on his fingers making the hilts tacky and sticky. It’s going to be a pain to clean later, a vague part of his mind notes. 

Of course Lloyd remembers dual wielding. It is better for defending, but you lose power on striking and reach — he can deal with that. Kai does. 

And it’s exactly what he needs, right now. The assassin won’t even get close to Kai.

One spin, then another. The katanas’ weight is familiar, balanced in the slightly-weird way Lloyd likes best, the way Kai makes all his swords. He finds his footing, finds the stance, and moves.

When Kai fights, he fights like the first flash of flame from a match strike — quick and bursting, fast enough it all but blinds the enemy. 

When Lloyd fights, it feels like dancing — slower to start, picking steps deliberately, building to that bursting strike faster and faster. 

It only takes one strike, after all. And Lloyd’s got two swords. 

Silver flashes across the rooftop, a piercing screech as one of his katana meets the assassin’s broader blade, forcing it back—

The assassin drops with a cry before falling silent, the shattered pieces of a katana scattered around him. 

“Saw that…one coming,” Kai moans. 

Still breathing heavily, Lloyd tries not to cringe.

“I’m so sorry,” he repeats, after Kai’s securely in a hospital bed and enduring Nya’s forty-five minute lecture about the many ways your arteries can kill you. 

Kai waves his hand, slightly cross-eyed and loopy from medication. “Y’know what? I wanted a new sword anyways. You saved me, so…skip the lecture and we’ll call it square?”

Lloyd lets a small smirk crawl up his face. 

“You know, I feel like there’s something very important you should keep in mind, about your weapons taking the hit, instead of you—” 

“When I get out of here, you’re toast.”

______

“I think I know where I’m going wrong,” Kai says. 

He’s spent the weekend with his father, the two of them either shut up in the forge or buzzing and forth about blacksmithing. It leaves Lloyd feeling a little weird — some mix between happy for Kai and achingly jealous, which then leaves him mostly just sad, which sucks. Lloyd sucks — it’s terrible to feel that way. Everyone was happy when Lloyd got both his parents back after that first battle, and even if he’s lost that — the least he can do is be happy for Kai and Nya. 

It ends up working out pretty great in the end, because Kai looks a little like he’s unraveled the mysteries of the universe right now. 

Half his right eyebrow is also scorched off, but Lloyd decides not to mention it for now. It’ll be funny to see the look on his face, when he notices. 

“I was talking with my dad, who’s got a lot more experience with this stuff, and he suggested something,” Kai continues. He fiddles with whatever he’s got hidden behind his back, and Lloyd has to stifle the urge to dart around him and see. 

“No more katana,” Kai says. “You’re good with ‘em, but I think we need a change-up.”

“You mean good at breaking them,” Lloyd mutters.

“If the sword breaks on you, it’s my fault,” Kai says. “I’m not exactly the world’s best blacksmith. Y’know, you should really think about getting someone else to—”

“No.” Lloyd bites his tongue immediately, aware of how bratty he sounds. 

And selfish. It’s not like Kai has tons of time to just make Lloyd swords all the time. 

As if reading his thoughts, Kai scuffs his hair. “Stop that. I like making swords.” The small edge of a smile pulls at his lips. “I worked pretty hard to become a blacksmith. So it feels kinda good, that someone appreciates the work for once.”

He shakes his head. “Anyways! Meet your new battle buddy. This is called a dao sword.” 

Lloyd stares at the curved, silvery blade Kai’s handed to him. It’s thicker than the katana he’s used to, the blade growing broader at the end before tapering off. 

“Historically, it’s better suited for quick slashing, but it’s fairly versatile,” Kai continues. 

Lloyd carefully lifts the sword, his eyes widening just a bit. 

“And heavier,” Kai grins. “Which means it’s gonna be at least a little more difficult for you to shatter.”

His hands fit easily around the handle — there’s plenty of room for a two-handed grip, and enough balance if he wants to switch back to one. 

“The guard’s a bit better with protection, and it’s got this tassel here you can wrap around your hand — yeah, like that — to help keep it steady. Or just look fancy.”

Stepping back, Lloyd adjust his hold. Normally he’d do something silly, or needlessly complicated, just to make Kai roll his eyes, but something about this one feels heavier — he doesn’t want to mess it up. He takes a single, experimental swing instead. 

“Oh,” Lloyd blinks. “It’s sharp.”

“I’d hope so. What do you think I am, a half-rate blacksmith — don’t answer that, by the way.”

Lloyd simply grins, taking a few more swings. It is heavier than the katana he’s used to, broader and chunkier — but it feels at home in his hands. 

“It’s incredible,” Lloyd says, turning back to Kai. “Thank you.”

Kai colors, just a bit. “You don’t have to lie.”

“I’m not lying! I love it. It’s perfect.”

“Well, as long as it holds up, that’s good enough for me,” Kai says, rubbing the back of his head. “Wanna give it a test drive?”

“Yeah,” Lloyd says. “I bet I can do even more flips with it.”

“And stab yourself in the leg in the process, but sure, go ahead, squander my gift—”

______

Lloyd’s careful, more so than ever, with the dao sword. When they all split across Ninjago, Lloyd clings to the piece of his family and tries to remember Kai’s instructions, making sure his hands are firmly wrapped and his right ankle always stays low. 

So when it breaks on the river with Harumi, Lloyd wants to cry.

He wants to cry for a lot of other reasons, but it still hurts — another thing he cares for that Harumi’s managed to break so easily. It hurts that they all work so hard, time and again, and it always ends up shattering around them anyways. Hurts that they pour themselves out for this city again and again and it’s still not enough. 

(Hurts that he’s never, ever going to outrun that worthless little kid in the snow.)

He learns, later — he’s got much more to lose to her than just a sword. 

It hurts all the same.

But the sword’s broken and Lloyd’s on a one-way collision course with his father, and it’s much too late to turn back now. 

Lloyd enters Kryptarium Prison with nothing but himself and his power. It was enough the first time, it’s got to be enough this one as well. 

Lloyd was enough the first time — if he isn’t enough now—

If he isn’t—

______

He isn’t.

He throws himself against his father and shatters his heart with every hit. Then the rest of him goes and shatters too, ribs cracking and skin splitting as he’s battered through walls and bruised against stone. His power sparks and screams as it tries to save him, pushed to its limits.

A part of Lloyd finds it funny — he can’t even keep his power together. He wonders if he’ll snap into six pieces and fly everywhere, just like Kai’s poor katanas, with nothing left but broken pieces of Lloyd to melt down for scrap. 

Kai doesn’t find it funny in the slightest. Not the muffled voice Lloyd hears breaking as his family tries to put him back together, not the filthy embrace Lloyd gets when it’s finally over, not the multiple hour-long lectures Lloyd’s forced to sit through even three months out. 

“I don’t care how many swords you break,” he hisses, giving Lloyd a shake that’s forceful enough his teeth almost rattle. “I don’t care if you shatter a thousand. They’re supposed to protect you. You’re supposed to choose yourself. Don’t you ever, ever, put yourself out there to break again.” 

Lloyd must’ve broken a hundred promises by now. He can’t seem to do anything right, truly — not being the Green Ninja, not being a good brother, not being Garmadon’s son.

But, as he nods and makes another promise, he can try. 

For Kai, he’ll try. 

______

Things are different, after his father, but it’s the same way things are always different after their family escapes by the skin of their teeth. Each new threat leaves another lingering wound, but Lloyd likes to think it stitches them closer in the aftermath. 

With everyone’s attention so laser-focused on Lloyd after everything, it makes it easier for him to spot the others’ bad days. 

It only takes him five minutes to track down Kai this time. Lloyd carefully lowers himself cross-legged next to him on the floor, katana laid across his lap.

Kai tenses, as if preparing for another speech. 

Please. Lloyd’s methods are way sneakier — and better — these days. 

“So,” he starts, as he dips the edge of a rag in Kai’s choji oil. “I was patrolling today, and I saw like, a demon cat, I think? I mean, it was definitely a cat. It looked kind of like the one Zane used to feed when we lived at the apartment, all stripey and stuff. I was gonna try and pet it, ‘cause patrol was pretty boring and what was I supposed to do, ignore it? So I did the whole pspsps thing, and it was not a fan — and I swear, it hissed at me, and it looked just like my dad. When he's all Oni, y’know? Which is rude, cats are supposed to be comforting, not traumatic—”

Lloyd’s rambling grows more and more nonsensical as he goes, jumping from topic to topic as he works on the katana. He can feel the tension seeping out of Kai where he sits beside him though, bit by bit until Kai’s finally leaning against his shoulder. 

“Missed a spot,” he speaks up suddenly, his voice only cracking a little.

Lloyd squints at the sword. “Where?”

Kai taps a bandaged finger on the blade. 

“Oh,” Lloyd blinks. He adjusts the rag. “Thanks.”

 Kai speaks up again, after a minute, “You’ve gotten good at this.”

“Had a good teacher.”

There’s a faint snort. “Debatable.”

“With who?” Lloyd says. “I’m your number one sword student. And your only one. I win automatically.” 

“The others use swords. Sometimes.”

“Yeah, and Jay still whines every time the super special weapon-of-the-week to defeat evil ends up being a sword again,” Lloyd says. 

“S’cause Jay’s better with nunchucks. Totally different concept.”

“But he isn’t better with a sword.”

“Definitely not better than me.”

“I’m your best student,” Lloyd says. “Jay can’t be better than me. That’s illegal.”

“If the Green Ninja declares it,” Kai says, but there’s an edge of laughter in his voice, a thawing out of the numb blankness he’d worn earlier. He slumps, just a bit heavier, against Lloyd.

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Not really,” Kai mutters. 

“‘Kay.” Lloyd turns the sword over, squinting at his reflection. “Sometime, though?”

“If you can manage not to break anymore katanas before I finish your new weapon, maybe.”

“You guys won’t even let me out to fight,” Lloyd grouses. “It’s not as if I’ll have a chance to.”

Kai makes a huffing noise. “Maybe if you’d sit still long enough to heal—”

“I don’t wanna hear it from you,” Lloyd scowls. “Look, I know I messed up with — with her, but—”

“That’s not what this is about,” Kai says sharply. “It’s about you being okay.”

Normally, Lloyd would protest. Should protest — he doesn’t deserve to get off that easy. But Kai’s gone tense again, so he lets it go, just this once. 

“Sorry,” he murmurs anyways. 

“No, don’t. You’re doin’ good,” Kai sighs, and he sounds so very, very tired. “Just…take it easy, okay? ’Til I get your sword done.” 

“Sorry for breaking the old one, too,” Lloyd says. “I really did try to keep it safe.” 

“I’ll make you a hundred swords,” Kai says. “A thousand, if I have to. Just keep using them, okay? Swords are your weapon.”

Like Lloyd’s ever going to forget that, at this point.

______

It’s only after the Oni are more a memory and Lloyd has been subjected to an unholy amount of recuperation that Kai allows him to even see the sword he’s made this time.

It’s well worth the wait, though.

“It’s gold,” Lloyd murmurs, reverently holding the new dao blade. 

“Yeah, well,” Kai shrugs, a little bashful. “I thought you should match us, at some point.”

Lloyd has to try very hard not to pretend that doesn’t make a small, lingering part of him want to tear up.

“Is this jade?” he says instead, carefully tracing a finger over the single panel of green that decorates the blade. 

“Technically it’s jadeite, and no, you don’t wanna know where I got it,” Kai corrects. 

“I don’t care,” Lloyd says. “I love it. It’s the best sword ever. I — thank you, so much—”

“Okay, okay, that’s enough,” Kai says quickly. “You’re welcome, or whatever, just — you’ll use it, right?”

Lloyd gives him a long, flat look. 

“You’ll have to pry it from my cold, dead hands.”

“You are not allowed to joke about that—!”

______

The golden dao sword never breaks. 

It takes Lloyd several fights with it to stop holding back, but once he realizes this sword won’t shatter to pieces in his hands, he lets himself get creative.

And the sword holds, again and again. 

Against Aspheera’s burning soldiers, against the bitter chill of the Never Realm, against the Skull Sorcerer’s monsters in the depths of Shintaro, against the heavy weight of water and cold crystal — the dao blade holds.

Kai tells him it’s because Lloyd’s finally learned how to stop using his weapon as a glorified baseball bat. Lloyd thinks it’s because Kai knows blacksmithing for ninja better than anyone else in the world.

His powers grow, too — along with his options, which he’d really have preferred to just…avoid. 

Real fun that it wasn’t the many years of pent-up anger issues, but crippling traumatic grief, that’s the key to unlocking his shapeshifting abilities. Hilarious. 

It still stings, a bit, that no one ever bothered to tell him he was walking around with the blood of two mythical beings just chilling in his veins, Would’ve been nice to know, maybe, before he got stuck having a whole crisis about it smack in the middle of another world-ending crisis. 

Oni, dragon, Green Ninja. Like he needs another title.

In the end, it doesn’t matter much what he thinks. Everyone moves on and Lloyd is a multi-bred freak of nature, or something. 

His father thinks he should hone his Oni powers. Sensei Wu thinks he should listen to his father but also remember his dragon side. His mother thinks he should read the eight-hundred page historical brick of a book about all known history of the Oni and the dragon. He doesn’t have a clue what his great-grandparents think of him, except that a family reunion would be world-ending levels of terrible. 

Lloyd, who’s grown attached to looking like himself and happens to like being human, keeps reaching for his dao blade first. 

Swordsmanship is something he’s proud of. He’s worked hard for it, through blisters and bruises and blood. It’s something that belongs to him and Kai, something shared and freely given. Something passed onto him, something taught and earned, something treasured.

Lloyd doesn’t have a lot of things like that, so he treasures it all the more himself. 

Treasures the humanity of his family, and how lucky he is to be part of that.

Treasures the things he’s learned from them like family heirlooms he’s never had.

Treasures the fact that they’re there—

Treasures the—

______

The monastery is so quiet, Lloyd’s starting to understand how people lose their minds.

Not really. He hasn’t started talking to himself yet, so that’s a good sign, right? It doesn’t count, if you’re yelling for other people. Doesn’t count if you’re screaming curses at your stupid grandfather who let your whole world split apart and tore away the only people that were yours. 

“It doesn’t count,” he whispers to the sword in his lap. 

Lloyd stares dully at his reflection in the dao sword, marred by the splotchy wear and ugly chipping at the blade’s edges. It’s in miserable shape, worn down and neglected.

A lot like himself, maybe. 

He shudders, drawing in a breath. Sulking won’t sharpen swords. And when Kai gets back — which he will — he’ll be so disappointed that Lloyd’s gone and treated his sword like dirt. 

The smell of choji oil makes his eyes sting, but the familiar sound the rag makes across the blade soothes it. 

He’s glad he took the time to sharpen it up, too, when he visits the city. More than glad when he finds himself atop the train, his missing hood leaving him distinctly uncomfortable as he prepares to fight. 

Lloyd’s hands have warped and twisted, burst in purple and grown claws sharp enough to slice. If he can make them his own again, after that, he can make them hold steady now. 

The handle of the dao blade is worn and familiar, the fraying tassel the same bright green where it brushes the back of his hands, and Kai’s voice yells in his head as loud as ever as he swings it once—

One flip this time, he decides. One flip, one strike.

Swords are his weapon, after all. It’s important for him to remember that.  

And even if he doesn’t—

______

Lloyd’s grown up in a world of weapons, and far faster than he probably should. 

But with every sword swing, every familiar callous carved into his hand, Kai’s there to remind him that his sword is the weapon.

And Lloyd, power or no power, is just Lloyd. 

[eunimaybe]

— • POINT OF CONTENTION : YOU.

ᝰ.ᐟ : why are you on a coffee date with jay? i thought you guys were the biggest rivals, no?

pairing! politicalsciencemajor!jay x politicalsciencemajor!reader | wc. 0.7k | warnings: attempted humour (failed), prob kinda cringe, inaccurate university stuff (im so sorry i’ve never been in uni) EN-

🖇️ : jay's version!! political science suits him so well, don't you think? also this became a debate fic for some reason… but i hope you guys enjoy ~ jake version is next ^^

political science is such a jay subject

someone says political science i think of jay

you first met jay at a debate club at your university

when you first saw him you thought "hmm, typical political science major with not-so-typical sharp jawline"

tbh you just saw him as competition he better get tf out of your way you're at university to get the best grades and graduate on top like you did for middle school and high school

you hated how jay was always at top

you admired him but hated him at the same time can he please fumble for once?

jay also sees competition when he sees you except the competition is a hot twenty year old girl with silver glasses and an immaculate fashion taste

but competition nonetheless

so one day you guys are having a debate about some political shit

you're even more competitive than usual

political science is YOUR major so YOU have to win

but guess what

your opponent is no another than jay himself

both of you are absolutely determined to win the debate

like bitch there's fire in your eyes you have to beat this man

he’s on the positive side and you’re on the negative so you think you’re completely cooked

but guess what gang

you won.

you just kind of stand there wondering wtf just happened until reality comes crashing down

you just beat jay, and he's the best political science student the school has.

you spent like 922929485 minutes making jay’s life hell for his loss before leaving the room in a very good mood.

and let me tell you

jay is down bad.

he just saw you give the most scrumptious, delicious, yummy argument to counter his equally scrumptious, delicious, yummy argument

nobody has ever beaten him like that before.

EVER.

but you did.

and that's very hot of you.

tbh the debate was a very close call

jay's arguments were sharper than his jawline and that's saying something (moment of appreciation for his 90 degrees jawline)

you're part impressed, part annoyed and part determined.

you NEED to beat him in the next debate as well

you're practically drooling when you think about beating him in the next coming debate as well

perhaps you're also drooling over jay but you'd never admit that

you just gaslight yourself into thinking that it's just begrudged admiration that's making you feel this way

you spend the next week researching the new topic for the debate you're going to have with jay to ensure that you'll be able to counter every single argument he throws at you

you don't know whether you're on the positive side of negative yet BUT THAT DOESN'T MATTER YOU'LL JUST RESEARCH IT ALL

you like to study in that one little spot at the library but turns out jay also conveniently really likes that spot

you wake up ten minutes early everyday to get there before him

you're basically running on caffeine and caffeine only the whole week trying to juggle the preparations for the debate and lectures

somebody keeps leaving you a cup black coffee, your favourite, on your morning lecture tables

you don't know what's going on and why someone's giving you free beverages buttt free coffee, right?

idk if you're just oblivious or stupid or denying the truth

maybe all three because how tf are you not connecting the dots?

the debate.

jay.

the coffee.

when the next debate finally comes, you sit down across jay with your COLOUR ORGANISED flashcards and notes

you don't even have to look at them

jay's also been preparing as well, so it's a very tough debate

both of you shooting one argument after another BUT GUESS WHO WON

you. ACADEMIC QUEEN FRFR

you celebrate by another session of rubbing your victory into jay's too-hot-for-his-own-good face but you're aware that the debate was practically a draw

you both did so good it's actually crazy

the next day, you come to another cup of black coffee sitting at your lecture table except it has a little note saying

"nice debate yesterday. you wanna go out together tonight? - jay"

of course you say yes I MEAN LOOK AT THIS MAN HOLY SHIT

heeseung jake sunghoon sunoo jungwon ni-ki

✉️: @icyy-hoon send me an ask or comment under this post to be added to my taglist <3

[sancrevm]

enhypen: jay, jake, sunghoon and niki as boyfriends

song recommendation: bite me by enhypen

jay

the most boyfriendish boyfriend to exist.

he’s always there for you, whether that be you’re having a sad day and just require his presence or if something exciting has happened and you wish to tell him all about it, here’s there to listen.

of course he cooks for you, he craves your joyous reactions to whatever he makes and he goes out of his way to present the food as a restaurant would just to see the smile light up on your face.

he’s the type to enact pda more so when he gets even the slightest bit jealous. another boy looks at you a little too long when you’re shopping? an automatic death glare and a hand on your waist. he sees another boy smile at you? he kisses you in plain sight before he leads you away.

he’ll pay attention to the little details you mention in conversations and bring them up later. your heart always warms with the implication that he actually listens to you, even if you’re just rambling half the time.

jake

a perfect example of a boyfriend.

this boy is so in love with you he feels like he can’t even breathe when he’s near you. he’s always messaging the group chat with the rest of the members when he’s with you, either incoherent ramblings or just full on paragraphs about why he loves you so much. the rest of enhypen have learned to ignore it though.

you best bet if the two of you have an unscheduled day, he will not let you leave his presence. what was once an early morning turned into a late lie in because he snuggled up to you, not allowing you to escape his bear hug. a movie night turned into you and him falling asleep on the couch, his arm wrapped around your waist while the unwatched movie played in the background.

he tends to play fight with you. if the two of you are on his bed, he’ll just start wrestling with you simply because he loves the laughter you let out. after it, he’ll have your hands pinned to the bed and he’ll bend down to kiss you.

sunghoon

despite being such a tease, he’s seriously a good boyfriend to you.

he’s the perfect example of someone who taunts their partner because they love to see how riled up they get. he’s always pulling small pranks on you or just downright teasing you because he loves the reactions you pull. he would always end it with an “i’m just teasing” and pull you in for a hug.

he’s so attentive with little details. if you’re in a restaurant and sharing food, he’ll always give you more of what you love to eat. he’ll always lead you by the hand if the two of you are out in public, as well as always having his hand on your body if you’re say waiting at traffic lights.

again he just executes boyfriend acts all the time. he’s always the type to offer his coat if you’re too cold, he would rather suffer from the chill himself than witness you shivering. when out on a picnic date, he’ll let you use him as a pillow when you snuggle up to him, even if he has nothing to rest his head on himself. he’ll always put you first.

niki

even if it’s niki’s first relationship, he sure as hell knows how well to treat you.

he’ll always and i mean always give you his hoodies to wear. at this point, you have more of his hoodies hung in your wardrobe than he does. he loves seeing how big they are on you; he’s just obsessed with seeing you wear one of his possessions and knowing you probably sleep all enveloped in one, his heart can’t take it.

he has a dedicated playlist for when you come over. whenever a love song plays that just gets his heart beating, he’ll look over to you and smile, as if he’s relating the lyrics to your relationship. overall, he has to remind himself that you’re not just a dream and that he actually has you as a partner.

he’s learning to be a better boyfriend as he’s going, but his acts are just so natural sometimes. for instance: he’ll always insist you message him when you get home straight away. if you’re faced away from him when lying in bed, he’ll roll over and wrap his arm around your waist, kissing your cheek and neck while he asks what’s wrong. and lastly, he’ll have the cutest nicknames for you, he probably has a new one stored every week.

[luvtonique]

I wanted to address all of the controversies about me and put some explanations on them because unfortunately we live in a day and age where people just see the dirt without ever wondering how the dirt got there. They think "Man that guy never washes his car look how filthy it is" because I just fuckin went offroading 10 minutes ago but they didn't know that.

Aight let's start with numero uno, the thing I'm called the most, the big word for good ol Jay: Transphobe!

This is the one with the most hilarious backstory of them all which to this day baffles my goddamn mind.

I used to be a hated artist because I drew violent shit, I was known for Lil Miss Rarity which is a super violent comic. Naturally this lead to people saying that I was "killing children" because I was drawing violent (and sometimes pornographic) images of a children's cartoon show (My Little Pony).

So in my quick rise to stardom, I had a lot of hateful people attacking me as well, and I had fun with it. I called them out, called them stupid, etc.

Well, one of them was Dumbo. Dumbo spent 6 full months making posts about me that are still on their blog to this day. Every single time I made a post, they reblogged it or reposted it, to call me a shithead, call me an ass hole, wish I'd kill myself, etc.

One day I was doing a fundraiser to put away money for a potential emergency because my mom had hurt her spine really bad and was in the hospital. I had a goal of $300 and raised $1200.

Dumbo, of course, was saying hateful shit about me still, and said, I quote, "I hope that whore dies in the hospital lmao"

So, I looked into who Dumbo was. The Brony fandom was, at the time, all about Love and Tolerance, so I did some sleuthing and found out they were an artist on DeviantART taking full color commissions for $10. I commissioned them on my DA account, and asked them to draw Lil Miss Rarity. They and I had a very polite conversation, and since they drew the picture very quickly I tipped them 100% and told them to up their prices because their art is very good.

They thanked me, not knowing it was me (despite that it was literally my main account), and I walked away.

Then, they checked my gallery, found out it was me, and went into a rage, making a post that says, "LMFAO, Jay just begged for money and then turned around and used it to commission an artist for double their asking price, what a shithead!!"

So, I took the screencaps of all of their death threats over 6 months, compiled them all, and showed my massive Tumblr following in a huge callout post against them. In the middle, I referred to Dumbo as "he/she/it/clown" and everyone (AND I FUCKING MEAN EVERYONE) completely ignored the 6 months of death threats and how consistently polite I was to them, and sided with Dumbo in a moment that labeled me "Transphobic" for the rest of my life.

Another instance is I called Kris from Deltarune he/she, and was called transphobic for that, and got the amazing quote "That's a real-ass child and you're misgendering them deliberately," to which I replied, "That's not a real-ass child that's a fictional character you fucking retard"

NEXT UP: ABLEIST.

I grew up in Los Angeles in special ed classes and have a mentally retarded brother, I have the pass to say retard, fuck off.

NEXT UP: RACIST.

I grew up in Los Angeles with a father who called himself "N*gger Bob" (he's white) because he was a super racist who believed being asked to help take the trash out was "akin to slavery." He also beat my retarded brother half to death for having a black girlfriend.

I was in LA during the Rodney King riots, I was in LA right in the middle of the Crips and Bloods trying to kill each other and having fuckloads of gang shootouts that I overheard when I was chilling in the Ceritos (spelling) mall.

I know what racism looks like.

A white boy saying the n-word while playing Fortnite is not what racism looks like.

A white boy singing along with Busta Rhymes (hi that's me) on a livestream and casually dropping n-bombs because I'M SINGING ALONG WITH BUSTA, BITCH, is not what racism looks like. I had three black friends growing up, Davion, Julian and Smalls, and also Undrier but Undrier was retarded and I didn't consider him a friend he just followed me around and called me "Day" because he couldn't pronounce J's. But me, Smalls and Davion would stand on Davion's aunt's porch and eat zucchini cornbread and listen to Woo Haw and headbang and sing along til the fucking cows came home.

But now that I'm grown up, my upbringing apparently doesn't matter, my FUCKING SKIN COLOR DOES (you know, racist ideology!) and I'm no longer allowed to say the n-word despite having casually spent my entire childhood surrounded by black friends who were completely okay with me saying it. I grew up in the hood, motherfucker! Bellflower born n' raised, bitch! Wes' Side!

But I'm <skin color> and since <skin color> isn't allowed to <thing that's designated for only other skin color to do>, I'm racist.

NEXT UP: PEDOPHIIIIIILE

I was molested when I was 13, which thankfully didn't leave too much emotional scarring on me. Anthony Sevarino, the dude's name was, and he shoved my hand in his pants and showed me his dick during a camping trip and said he was gonna fuck me in my bed. I was so shocked by this happening that I didn't even tell my parents who were in the same motorhome literally asleep 10 feet from me.

Growing up, I always had a really emotional trigger to seeing harm come to children, I hate it. I cry and shake uncontrollably when I see children getting hurt, no matter what. It's the only thing I have I'd call a "trigger."

I saw that episode of Rugrats where Tommy cuts his finger and then he's scared to do anything anymore because he might get hurt, and that made me fucking bawl, it still does, seeing Tommy cry super fucking hard over seeing his finger bleed- holy shit it's making me teary eyed right now just typing that.

So, naturally, I don't want children to get hurt and am extremely against pedophilia, child predatory behavior, MAPs, grooming and these FUCKING PEOPLE WHO KEEP CASUALLY TALKING TO 13 YEAR OLDS ON DISCORD FOR FUCK SAKE.

"But Jay! You drew foalcon! Those fictional ponies are underaged!"

What, you mean that tag that's still extremely popular and always has been in the brony fandom?

Yeah can't imagine why I, a very popular artist in the brony fandom from 12 years ago to 10 years ago, would ever draw something so insanely high demand and so insanely popular. Can't fucking imagine.

Never mind that I haven't drawn it in 3 years, removed all my old images of it, and even announced I'm not drawing that shit anymore, I'm still losing friends when they find out I did once, because "I can't associate with a pedophile I'm sorry." (See: "I can't differentiate fiction from reality and also can't allow a person to move on from a troubled past that they had.")

Also never mind that the few crowdpleaser foalcon moments in Lil Miss Rarity were officially written out entirely (the part where Twist and Sweetie Belle kissed).

But you know what's amazing? Being part of the brony fandom and being an artist willing to draw anything meant that people would come to me and literally confess that they're in possession of the "real shit" and wanted to know if I was interested. Seven of them, seven, are in prison now because of me and my buddy "Z" contacting the FBI with their confessions and the shit they shared with me thinking that I was a "safe person" to admit that shit to.

My position in the fandom as an artist who gets to know their commissioners personally and was willing to draw that type of shit was literally fishing out real actual predators and putting them in prison, but I was still getting called a pedophile, and still get called it today. It's fuckin great man.

NEXT UP: TRANSPHOBE (PART 2)

I was trans. Shaved my hair half off, dyed it blue, called myself Jynkx, cussed out my family, moved to Ohio with a guy who wore diapers around the house (with his brother living there) and collected loli figurines, and dated a transgirl who was catfishing and manipulating me for 9 fucking years. I have a Discord server to this day with pronoun selection roles, my best friend is trans (I met her when she was cis and helped her come to the decision to transition and it has since improved her life and happiness), and almost every mod in my Discord server is trans.

The problem, of course, is that the trans activist community hates itself more than any other, which makes perfect sense if you think about it. This is a group of people who encourage hating cisgendered people, and encourage people to hate the body they're in and to transition to a "different body." It's been proven multiple sources that there are entire "Femboy Cults" (search that on YouTube) who are actively seeking out depressed people to manipulate them into starting HRT, and cutting off their family.

WELL GUESS WHAT HAPPENED TO ME?

Bridget, as you all remember her, was a manipulator who lied to me for 9 years of dating to make me depressed, hate myself, hate my family, give her thousands of dollars, and kept promising we'd meet some day while turning down every opportunity (such as conventions we were both already going to) to meet (yes, I went to conventions she was at and didn't meet her).

I was a victim of manipulation, was surrounded by horribly manipulative and narcissistic pieces of shit who warped my mind and made me believe I was depressed because I was "an egg" and needed to go get on HRT and change myself. And I almost did! I came within a hair's reach of shoving a hormone-altering drug into myself in hopes it would cure my depression, and then went "Wait a second, I'm not depressed because I'm a woman trapped in a man's body, I'm depressed because femboy-obsessed manipulative pervert rapists want me to turn myself into their fetish." I broke up with Bridget, I moved home from Ohio, I waited for my hair to stop being blue, and I became proud of myself for escaping that horrible situation and bettering myself mentally.

So how's this make me a transphobe?

I DON'T FUCKING KNOW, YOU FUCKING TELL ME YOU FUCKING INSANE BOOGEYMAN-BELIEVING ASSHOLES WHO BLAME EVERY OTHER PERSON FOR YOUR OWN INTERNAL LACK OF FUCKING SELF WORTH.

WAKE THE FUCK UP. YOU'VE BEEN MANIPULATED BY THESE FUCKING TRANS ACTIVISTS WHO ARE JUST SICK FETISHISTS WHO WANT TO TRANSFORM LONELY MEN INTO "FEMBOYS" UNDER FALSE PROMISES THAT IT WILL FIX THEIR MENTAL PROBLEMS. GET OUT WHILE YOU FUCKING CAN. I DID AND I'VE NEVER BEEN HAPPIER IN MY LIFE.

Next up: HOMOPHOBE

I draw LGD (Lesbians Getting Dicked) because I think it's hot when girls who like girls have sex with guys. I've drawn some pretty offensive pictures of it such as a pic of two lesbians being told "Pride month's over, ladies, time to be straight again" while being surrounded by hard dicks and looking scared.

Why'd I do this? Well because a lesbian friend of mine also likes that shit and we did that as an art trade.

But why do I draw it on my own sometimes? Because it's hot. It's fucking fictional porn, it's not real, it can't hurt you. I tag it LGD and only post it in servers you need accounts to see. You don't like it stop going out of your way to look at it, and if someone slams it in your face in your private "We Hate Jay" Discord server (which there are many of. I have moles who tell me.), that's not my fault y'fuckin dipshits. I properly tag and hide my stuff so only people who want to see it can see it. If someone showed you a picture of my spread asshole, you should get mad at them, not me. They're the one who SAVED IT TO THEIR COMPUTER AND SHOWED IT TO THEIR FRIENDS UNSOLICITED, YOU MORONS.

Anyway.

Next up: AN ASS HOLE.

I've spent 13 years being called all of the above names no matter how much I've catered to their activism and was even part of their activist movements directly. Fuck you.

Next up: A NAZI

Lmao.

I said on Twitter, "I hate that no matter what you say on this site, someone somewhere will get mad."

And that, without any further comment from me literally at all, turned into a massive amount of people including "Wootmaster" (Added note: I talked with Woot in private and he gave me the okay and apologized, we cool) calling me racist and a "Bootlicking Nazi." I literally did not add to it. I literally just said the opening line and left it for 3 days.

That's why I deleted my Twitter.

That's why people think I'm a Nazi.

Because I said "I hate that no matter what you say on this site, someone somewhere will get mad."

Next up: I DON'T FUCKING KNOW I BET THERE'S MORE.

You see why I make angry rant posts like this one?

Because this is how I've been treated for 13 fucking years.

I've been attacked, called names, labeled evil, told I'm phobic against the movements I was literally part of and being an activist for, had money stolen from me by perverts who got arrested for drilling a hole in the bathroom wall at a brony convention to jack off to his female roommates (he pretended to be trans and bullied them into letting him room with them in their "Safe Women's Hotel Room" and then did that shit and got arrested. But not before he stole money from me! Six thousand fucking dollars!), lived with a fucking probably actual child predator who would show me his loli figures and foalcon posters every day and try to convince me to like them and showed me his dick multiple times...

I literally was smack dab in the middle of super ultra liberal activism and trans activism for over a goddamn decade, right down to blue hair half shaved off and calling myself Jynkx.

And I come back, snap out of it, and get cussed out and called transphobic and "the reason trans people are being killed" because I don't like the flowery 1-dimensional LGBT representation in World of Warcraft and have a 9 year running best friend I went to multiple conventions with decide instantly that I'm a Nazi racist communist because I didn't disown my mother when she voted for the orange guy, and because I called one of their friends "Insane" for identifying as fae/fie and thinking they're a goddamn gaelic woodland sprite. (Btw he was my most frequent commissioner for loli shit and used to jack off while I was drawing it for him.)

You see, people.

I've spent 13 years surrounding myself with and getting personally connected with the lives of my commissioners as a brony/furry artist who was deep into LGBT and Liberal activism.

And in those 13 years I've come to realize that I surrounded myself with the most fucking disgusting and evil people on earth, who no matter how much I would shill for them and do what they asked, I would still be the label-covered punching bag whose reputation is now so utterly in the trash that literally no matter what I draw, say, or do today, I still have people on shady Discord servers n' shit calling me a fucking lolcow and a pedo and a transphobe and a Nazi and a racist and a homophobe and an ass hole.

I have learned in 13 goddamn years that you can't appease these fucking lunatic psychopaths.

And so I don't anymore.

So who am I really?

I'm an incredibly easy to talk to artist, I'm a dude, I love roleplaying and drawing pictures for people, I like writing song lyrics, I love hearing about new inventions and innovations, I love goats, I love dogs, I think cats make bad pets but I don't mind cats, I'm making a video game about an elf girl, and I want you hateful people who I've lived rent-free in the heads of for over a goddamn decade to leave me and my fanbase the fuck alone.

Love you all.

~Jay

[thecatundertheladder]

More stuff for my Wu and Garmadon in the Tournament of Elements au! This is what happens on the ferry ride over to Chen's Island.

When Wu and Garmadon join them on the ferry, the ninja are, at first, confused as to why their senseis were allowed on it. After all, only elemental masters were invited to the tournament. You know, cause it’s the Tournament of Elements.

Lloyd: I'm surprised they let you on.

Jay: Yeah, they didn't even let my weapons on!

Garmadon: Well, we were invited.

Wu: We just weren’t planning on accepting until we realised you were going.

Kai: Wait, wait, so does this mean that you’re elemental masters too?

Cole: I guess it makes sense. They are the sons of the First Spinjitizu Master. So why wouldn’t they have elements?

Lloyd: So, what are your elements?

Wu: Hmm, we aren't actually elemental masters, but in this case, I suppose I am the master of Creation and my brother the master of Destruction.

Garmadon: We'll explain further when there are less curious ears.

Garmadon goes on to explain how everyone on the boat are all descendants of the original elemental masters. Of course, this is where Kai decides to fight Karloff [also side note I watched this episode before writing this and it's really out of character that Karloff tries to steal Skylor’s cloak but anyway].

Like Garmadon, Wu also just lets Kai fight by himself, so nothing much changes there.

However, Wu does wander off to have a conversation with Griffin Turner at some point because while canon says that Garmadon (and probably Wu as a result) has never met most of the EMs, I say that's unrealistic - that and it's implied that Garmadon has met Griffin. Anyways, Griffin does not think that Wu aged well.

Right before they arrive on the island Jay decides to take advantage of Wu being there, and ask what the tension between Garmadon and Clouse is all about. And Wu, being a shitty little brother, decides to tell him. Needless to say, the ninja were shocked to find out that Garmadon and Clouse had dated. Up until that point, the ninja (except for Nya – she and Wu hung out a lot) had been a bit wary about stuff like that around Wu and Garmadon. They were thousands of years old, who knew what archaic values they still had. So finding out Garmadon used to have a boyfriend was a surprise (but a welcome one, as it let them know that Wu and Garmadon were accepting of LGBT people). Out of the information gained that night, the ninja consider Clouse being Garmadon’s ex the most important part.

Of course, while this is all happening the other elemental masters are sizing up the ninja, Wu, and Garmadon. And they all have varying opinions based around how much knowledge they have of them.

The ones who have never met or heard of any of them before see them as easy pickings. I mean, a bunch of teenagers and two old guys, seriously, how hard can it be to beat them?

The ones who have met Wu and Garmadon before, but only briefly, are a bit more wary of them, but still think they shouldn't be too hard to beat.

The few who know Wu and Garmadon quite well (like Griffin) are definitely nervous to be up against them, and they have enough sense to know that if the ninja have been trained by them as well, there’s a good chance that they are going to be tough opponents as well.

And, of course, the elemental masters who have heard of how the ninja defeated the Overlord are a bit shocked to find out that they are teenagers. Cause what the hell? Why are teenagers out there defeating God's arch-nemesis?

So basically, it's a direct correlation between how much the EM's have heard of the ninja and/or their senseis and how much they view them as a threat.

[makethatelevenrings]

Okay, if it's okay for you to write this little idea I had. So, uhm, you know a little angst in which reader is a vigilante (a very good one) but they get hurt protecting some people, Jason has no idea until they see reader in the Batcave sleeping and trying to get better. All this for him to have an epiphany and understanding he wants to be with reader even tho he's afraid and kinda sucks at feelins. Happy ending, please, because reader vigilante is a badass and wouldn't let Jason alone in this big bad world uwu

"Mission report," Jason announced as he climbed off his bike. "Got the victims safely out of the building and to medical care before the warehouse went...boom."

"And did this building go boom because of them? Or you?" Tim asked as he typed Jason's report into the database.

"Need to know, Timbo." He removed his helmet and tossed it onto the desk next to his younger brother. "Am I the last one in?"

Tim stiffened just slightly, but he dipped his chin in affirmation. "Steph and Cass are back with Oracle. Damian is...he's in the med bay."

With you, the words went unspoken. Jason pushed away from the desk and beelined for the med bay. Bruce, still in his suit, was bent over you on a cot while Alfred flitted about the small area. Damian sat next to the cot, his face drawn tight with shame.

"How are they?" Jason asked quietly. "What happened?"

Your eyelids didn't flutter. Didn't crack open at all, giving him a glimpse of the mischievous glint always present in them. You just stayed still and limp against the white sheets.

"It's my fault," Damian explained. "I...they jumped in front of me and took a knife aimed at my back."

Bruce was silent as he bandaged up your thigh. Jason moved to stand next to his father and he reached out to smooth a hand along your cheek. Dirt smudged along your nose and jaw and he rubbed it away.

"Nah, not your fault, baby bird," Jason assured him. He knew the kid was beating himself up. "They're the most stubborn, self-sacrificial motherfucker I've ever met."

It's why I love them, he wanted to say. Hell, he wanted to scream it. He wanted to pull you into his lap and cradle you, keeping away all the violence and rage he had experienced. He knew you chose this life just like he did. You wanted to help in your own way. Didn't mean he had to like it.

"They'll be okay," Bruce finally said. "Bed rest for a week and no patrol for a month, but they'll be fine. It'll leave a scar, but that's about it."

Another scar on your precious skin. Jason nodded, but he didn't tear his eyes away from your sleeping face. "Dilaudid?"

Bruce hummed an affirmative as he secured the bandage and pulled a blanket up to your shoulders. "It'll wear off in about four hours. They'll get a painkiller every six hours. Alfred will make sure they stay on schedule. You'll stay here?"

There was some sort of unsaid hope in Bruce's eyes. Jason hesitated but if it meant you being safe and secure in the Manor with top of the line medical care just a few feet away, then yeah, he would stay.

"Let's go, Damian. You need rest. You can come see them in the morning," Bruce ordered.

"But-" The youngest Wayne clearly didn't want to leave the side of the person he felt he failed.

"Go, demon brat. I'll be here all night. Promise," Jason assured him. Damian looked between him and the sleeping figure between them and then nodded sharply.

"I expect you to care for them to your upmost ability," Damian said. Little shit was terrified of admitting that he cared.

"With my life," Jason swore.

The cave slowly emptied out as people headed to bed. Jason waited until Alfred left before he slipped away from your bedside and returned with a small cloth and a bottle of mask solvent. Carefully, he eased the glue off of your face and removed your domino mask, laying it on the small nightstand next to the cot. His followed shortly after.

"Jay?" you slurred. A small smile lifted at the corner of his lips and he gently moved you over before sliding in next to you. His arm encircled your waist and he nestled his chin on top of your head.

"Go back to sleep, sweetheart. I'll be here when you wake up."

I'll be here every day. Every morning and every night. I'll be here as long as you want me to be around. As long as you can stand me. Until I end up in a coffin again and even then, I'd dig my way out and crawl back to you all over again.

[wannaeatramyeon]

Hi! I really love your fics! Can I request a Vasco x blunt!reader? Where the reader would always compliment Vasco without shame (he deserves it!) and like calling him Good bo or handsome for beating bad guys whhehehe. I think Tabasco would blush a lot and I would love to see his reaction in your perspective! (They’re either lovers or both have feelings for each other but haven’t confessed yet) thank you! (Also sorry that this is long🥺)

-🥔

Aww thanks for the kind words anon, and for the ask! Long asks are good! Allows me less freedom to wordvom and completely miss the point lol. Let me know if this hits the spot, or feel free to send me another ask (I think I might have misread this????)

Heheheeee Vasco would 100% blush, and he would also 100% need a blunt reader because someone needs to make it obvious and Euntae is too dense innocent for words.

Vasco x Reader: Compliment Assault

You've seen the Burn Knuckles gang. They're not exactly the most... well-mannered and their leader Vasco is exactly the person you would expect to lead them. Except, well. He really isn't.

He tells you all about kangaroos and Hero Man and Jay's puppies; all about wanting to protect the weak and using the gang for good. He even starts walking you home after you tell him about feeling unsafe. Who can blame you for liking him.

"Vasco, how are you still single!"

Vasco completely pauses midstep and freezes. He turns to look at you with wide eyes.

"Y/N? W-what do you mean?" Bless this guy, he's turned completely red.

"Vasco, you've turned completely red!" You sidle up to him and throw your arm round his shoulder, or what you could reach of it, forcing him to crouch down. He glances at you uncertainly but manages a hesitant smile.

"My dear Euntae. You're just..." you hold the back of your hand up to your forehead and pretend to swoon. "Look at you!"

"W-what about me?" You notice despite his embarassment, he eagerly looks at you.

"You're just so big and strong. I mean these muscles... and your tattoos!"

You give his biceps a little squeeze and he flushes. He always lets you get away with too much, and the fact that you're groping him in public makes him feel indecent. Yet seeing you smile and feeling your touch makes it worth it.

You continue your assault.

"And you're always looking after me and protecting others! You look so hot beating up bad guys. You know that right?"

Vasco shakes his head furiously. Y/N thinks I'm hot?

"You might be the sweetest guy I know." Y/N thinks I'm sweet?? "How are you such a good boy!"

Shit. The words 'good boy' makes Vasco's pulse race and he gulps. Definitely indecent. He decides to put a stop to this before it goes too far. He clears his throat and wills himself to stop blushing furiously.

"Y/N... are you feeling ok?"

You take a step back to look at him. God you really do like this fool. You sigh. "You know when you get a girlfriend-" Vasco opens his mouth to interrupt but you press on, "-and you will. We... we probably shouldn't be like this."

He looks at you in confusion, barely keeping up with your change in mood. "What do you mean Y/N?"

"We spend a lot of time together, Euntae. We probably wouldn't be hanging together as much. You wouldn't be walking me home anymore..."

You look at the ground sadly, thinking about the day that you won't be the only person taking up his spare time. Vasco's strong hands reach out to grasp yours. You look up in surprise at his display of affection.

His face is set in grim determination, "I'll always walk you home and look after you Y/N. I promise."

Vasco looks at you with such sincerity that you can't help but be touched and your lower lip starts to tremble. You wrap your arms around him in an embrace, hiding the emotions on your face.

"Thank you Euntae."

[angelicboba]

Study.

Jungwon x reader. 

Yang jungwon. The most popular boy at school along with his friends ENHYPEN. They all have their own talents but jungwon he’s the baseball team captain. Girls- hell even boys fawn over him, but who can blame them. Who wouldn't fawn over those sharp cat eyes and even sharper jaw and those plump lips. 

He’s obnoxiously handsome and cocky too, you may wonder how she possibly knows? Well that's because me Y/n L/n has to tutor this dumbass. And I am utterly pissed he makes me want to- “Y/N!!” “H-huh?” Y/n woke up from her love-hatred daydream. Minji her best friend, smirked at her, “Having fun glaring at jungwon?” she teases, Y/n blushes “W-what no I was-”  Y/n looks for an excuse  but minji beat her to it.”you were just glaring at jungwon”. Y/n sighs and gives up “Yeah BUT not what you were thinking I was trying to figure him out”. Minji looks confused “Why?” “Because how could he be one of the smartest kids in the school and failing chemistry!?” Y/n says frustrated, Minji shrugs “Everyone has their weakness”.  Y/n sighs “ Yes that's true but why do I of all people have to tutor him why not his friends jay and Jake!?”. “Maybe because they’ll give him answers to it”. “ Yeah you're right let's go, I'm hungry”. Y/n closes her locker and starts walking with Minji to lunch. Just as they start walking a familiar  voice  yells “HEY Y/N WAIT UP”  Y/n groans in frustration and Minji just smirks “ I’ll see you in lunch” and skips away, “aish that girl” Y/n mumbles under her breath then turns around to be see the face of jungwon “Hey y/n” he says while having that cocky smirk. “ What do you want jungwon?” Y/n says “What can I say hi to a friend?”, “Where not friends jungwon, I'm just your tutor.” “Well anyway I just wanted to remind you of our session today.” Y/n glares at him “i'm very much aware of that jungwon” “okay see you later” and just walks past her. She just shakes her head and walks to lunch 

__________________________________________

Time Skip.

    “  Ellingham diagram represents change of?”  “Of” “....”

   “OF JUNGWON”. Jungwon jolts from the sudden burst from Y/n but quickly collects himself to answer “umm” Y/n sighs “Were you even listening to me” she says surprisingly calmly. “If I were to say no would you be mad?” Y/n glares up at him “I’ll take that as a yes.” They were in the library after hours, which was fine because Y/n was a library assistant so she had the keys to lock up. Jungwon leaned back in his chair “ I can’t remember the answer but I think I know a way I can remember.”  doing his iconic smirk , Y/n sighs for what seemed like the 20th time “What?” He didn't even hesitate to answer “ A kiss” Y/n choke on her saliva and Jungwon smirk only grew “ What?” she was beet red (or not if your a black queen like me 👑) thinking she was hallucinating, Jungwon sighed “maybe if you give me a good luck i could possibly remember.” Y/n took a deep breath and shakily replied, “Jungwon, that's not professional.” “ So you act like you're my teacher at the same age.” Y/n took a deep breath, maybe she thought if she did this they could actually get some work done, so she stood up and walked towards him, Jungwon grabbed her waist and made her sit on his lap making her more flustered. She put both hands on his chest and said “I’m only doing this for you to get back to work.” and then she finally did it placing her lips on his, for some reason Y/n didn’t want to pull away so she didn't and Jungwon didn’t want to either, soon it turned out to be a full on make out session. Jungwon grabs Y/n thighs and pulls her close to him, she soon realizes the position they are in and pulls away much of Jungwon's dismay and says “What are we doing jungwon we have to study.” and was about to get off his lap, but  Jungwon was quicker grabbed her thighs and looked in her eyes and said “Fuck studying.” and kissed her once more. Y/n pulled out of the kiss once more and said “ If we're going to make-out at least let it not be in a dusty library and let it be in one of our rooms”. And hopped off his lap and started packing up leaving Jungwon stunned, Y/n looked towards him and said “ are we leaving or what?” taking Jungwon out of his daze and helping her pack up. As y/n was locking the last door Jungwon suddenly said “ free energy ΔG with temperature” Y/n stopped what she was doing and looked at Jungwon confused “what?” Jungwon gave her a soft grin “ I knew the answer, I just wanted to kiss you.” Y/n blushed and said “why me?” Then he said “ because you are you and kissed her head. 

The end?

Author note: thank you for reading my first ever story i will write more but this is for now also tell me what i can work on please!

[rom-e-o]

So, here's a rather esoteric question.

During the entire time he was courting her and doing his best to mask his true tendencies, what do you think Orin was thinking? Did he have a mantra to keep himself sane as he fought his true nature? Did he have to fight away doubts about what he was doing? Was there ever, at any point, some decent humanity in his line of thinking that he had to contend with at all?

This is a very good question. And, as usual, I love a long-winded answer, haha.

So, from the time Orin first meets Connie after Arthur introduces them, he has made up his mind. She is the one. He'll seduce her to get his foot in the door, get that prestige, etc. She's a DoGoode - new money, but he'll take it.

Orin is Dutch, and while this fact is mostly irrelevant in the modernverse, it's extremely important 1840s New York. So, I'll break down both:

Classicverse ("Begin Again"):

Dutch immigrants had an immense sense of pride in developing New York, and real families like the Van Rensselaers, the Schuylers and the Van Cortlandts were pillars of wealth. They were patroons who passed land down for generations, some having masses of millions of acres with hundred of tenant farmers. Even President Van Buren came from Dutch stock from Kinderhook in New York (where people mostly spoke Dutch). New York was run by Dutch gentry at this point, and they had hands in the rise of figures like Hamilton, John Jay, etc. Van Buren's son, John, was even state attorney general (and was nicknamed "Prince John" because of a memorable dance with England's own Queen Victoria, but that's a whole other story). They ruled lands of tenant farms, the legislature, the courts, etc. They only really 'fell' with the rise of the Anti-Rent movement. When that crested in 1845, most land-owning patroons lost their rights to abuse the tenant workers they relied on and collected funds from.

Wealth isn't just something Orin wants - he feels like it's owed to him. It's part of his identity. His blood means he is OWED a certain level of prestige. It's not that he wants to be a patroon, necessarily, but to be Dutch in 1840s New York meant something tangible, and it was something he wanted a slice of.

Constance is a tool to assist that. If he gets his foot in the door with her new money family , the old money pillars are easier to connect with. The DoGoodes had bridges to others. That's his true paydirt.

She's also pretty, and even enrolled in college, which was impressive at the time for a woman to jump through hoops to do. These factors don't threaten Orin, like they would have other men at the time. In fact, he does see them add "added value" assets that convince him to invest his time into her. In a lot of ways, she's the best choice. She's refined, elegant, smart, and a socialite. She can keep up with discussions on the arts/opera, she's a marvelous entertainer, excellent cook, and she's multilingual. She's also been a model since she was a teen! She's the picture of what every member of gentry looks for in a wife.

That being sad, courting her does take effort.

It's not that Connie is unbearable by any means, but he still has to go out of his way to be charming and sell the fact that he is interested - and frankly - worthy.

The lies pile up. The deeper he goes, the more tangled he gets, until he's actually getting attention in meetings and making deals because, "That's gonna me Arthur's son-in-law." And by that point, Arthur's health is fading. Not quickly, yet, but enough that people notice.

The snowball starts rolling, and he can't stop it now.

Modernverse

The overall beats of the courtship are largely the same, but without his obsessive tie to his Dutch heritage and the expectations of society/gentry at the time. He's a man who sees an opportunity with this woman, and he decides to take it.

Constance is accessible - she's the daughter of a big philanthropist he finds himself working adjacent to. She's pretty, educated, and extremely charismatic. There are eyes on her, as well. Who is this model-socialite going to marry, if anyone?

Classical and Modern

It's hard WORK keeping her tethered to him. This woman has admirers pulling her left and right, so he has to stand out. The only edge he has is the advantage of being close enough to actually romance her and spend time with her.

He has to study operas to be able to talk convincingly with her about them. He pretends to be more of an expert on business than he actually is, which means he has to study and read a lot. The whole charade of being romantic and charismatic does wear on him, but he does have a trick.

To keep himself sane, he does have a little mantra:

"I always get what I want, even if I have to take it myself."

All the work? It's work that ends up benefitting him, he thinks. It's an investment in himself, and that's what keeps him going. He views taking Connie on a romantic date in the same way someone might view making a hefty down payment on a house, or shoveling a snowy driveway at night: "It's annoying now, but it's for my future self. My future self will thank me."

And THAT is how he pulls through. Not for her. For him.

"God helps those who help themselves, my friends," he says with a smirk as he swindles a family into signing their life savings away at the holidays in exchange for a loan that is impossible to pay off. "That's what our Good Book says, yes?"

He helps himself. Because he deserve it.

[tma-entity-song-poll]

Battle of the Fear Bands B2R2: The Corruption

BlackBoxWarrior:

“A song about a man struggling with his health (be it mental or physical). The song makes the treatment seem inhumane and just as terrifying as the initial problem. It’s almost like he’s getting sicker and sicker but just won’t die.”

I Took a Zombie to Prom and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt:

“The love going on far longer than it should, to the point where it is consuming, most specifically "And we stumble ever forward - Our love is gone but we keep walking on - Arms outstretched we’re grasping for it - Wish that we had just stayed dead and gone"”

Lyrics below the line!

BlackBoxWarrior - OKULTRA:

Well he collapsed with Stevens-Johnson Syndrome on the E.R. floor Panic attacked, anaphylactic and ataxic The way he spun his butterfly risked all six his phalanges Roman candles at both ends in his synapses And the method with which he recycled his humors Trojan Horse'd his Blood-Brain Barrier and raised the LD-50, yes, yes And through flight-or-fight revelation shame the Black Box Warrior He skipped this town and headed straight down history Shields himself from reason in a Kevlar baby-blue Tuxedo Quilted from the finest fibers, flesh, and fiberglass, and flowers His ego a mosquito, evil incarnate good incognito Pops placebos for libido, screaming, "Bless the torpedoes" For what? For what? For what it's worth If it was going to kill you boy, it would have by now For what? For what? For what it's worth There's no more looking back, it's looking up or looking down Well, he was wearing stolen rubber shoes and wrapped a poison ivy noose Around his Lotus jugular when they came Well, they found him with a map to every victim of his love And a tattoo of a blue jay on his face And they waited for his vital signs to lie and let a flatline cry A hymn out in Hungarian Harmonic But he cocked his noggin, through his stoma sang, "For auld lang syne" "Happy birthday to the succulents, I'll die your hydroponics" His rib cage was a hornet's nest, palpitations set the beat His vagus nerve a turk's head knot, an axel hitch, a carrick bend He wondered if Christ Consciousness would charge a cancellation fee Auf wiedersehn, au revoir, he gripped his wits right by their ends

For what? For what? For what it's worth If it was going to kill you boy, it would have by now For what? For what? For what it's worth There's no more looking back, it's looking up or looking down Hello, welcome, why don't you take a seat? Get comfortable, relax, take a second if you need to Now what's bothering you? Well, why don't we start at the beginning Growing up, how was your relationship with the fundamentals of conscious existence? Did you have xenon orchid sinews spilling down the outer center of your Blooming Escher/Mandelbrot head? And how about claustrophilic tendrils clapping caskets closed on seven-knuckle thumbs Did you get along well with the Gideon Bugler pineal glands? Your projector eyes casting sci-fi's on your STR'd strands? Tell me about your nerve to steal nerves of steel from under Bacchus' bloody nose Did Namibian Himbas tie-dye you, your ears pierced with a Phineas Gage flagpole Did you die before your day? Thursday traction, Tuesday titration My hope is to assess through my objective report of Your subjective conjecture Whether this proprietary bled of expertise and seasoning works as well as this Transorbital ice pick

Holistic ballistics, you got a better idea? It's about the best we could come up with, what, you think ideas spread because they're good? No, they spread because people like them So now here we are once again, holding As it were, a mirror up to your mirror I guess it's just something people do A bloody knife to split your infrastructure, wine to rev your motor function Coital machinations of the dead Well, you mainline your animus, karate chop your abacus And learn to be an animal instead But I never did think you better than this, your modus operandi causes Nazi/Skoptzyism and suicide Why to thine own self be true when it is you who are the problem Not the things you do but something sick inside Lithium and Dialectics, boy you really is defective CBT don't seem effective for that Cluster B, accept it Offer up your innocence, please ignore the side effects You've lost your mind and almost lost your life before So you'll be fine For what? For what? For what it's worth If it was going to kill you boy, it would have by now For what? For what? For what it's worth There's no more looking back, and why would you want to look back? I mean, it's no good looking back, so try to look forward now For what? For what? For what it's worth If they were going to get you boy, they would have by now For what? For what? For what it's worth There's no more looking back, it's looking up or looking down...

I Took a Zombie to Prom and All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt:

One breath But everything just tastes like grave dirt One look But darkness surrounds me One touch These walls of pinewood press so closely But, love, I'm alive I claw my way toward you Broken limbs and stitched together smile Sunday best in rags and tatters Love, why do you run? Don't run I'm coming for you And I stumble ever forward My grace is gone but I keep walking on My arms outstretched, I'm reaching for you You can't bury me; I'm never gone Come now There's nowhere else for you to run to Love, now We will be together One bite Is all it takes to bind me to you Now you're in my arms and, dear, you're never leaving And I stumble ever forward My grace is gone but I keep walking on My arms outstretched, I'm reaching for you You can't bury me; I'm never gone And I stumble ever forward Our love is gone but we keep coming on Arms outstretched; we're grasping for it Wish that we had just stayed dead and gone

[galaxy-brain-rasslin]

Just some quick thoughts on All In. There will be spoilers.

Zero Hour

I, 100% did not expect Adam and MJF to win, at all. I expected there to be the initial start of a betrayal or something. I was pleasantly surprised, since I love the two of them.

Aussie Open seems really good. I should probably check out ROH.

Hook is one of my favorite anime protagonists, and Jack Perry has improved so much by being a complete piece of shit.

Also, Taz being hyped up for everything Hook does will literally never get old. Dude just sounds so proud every damn time.

CM Punk vs Samoa Joe

I don't really care a whole lot about CM Punk. I've seen a few of his pre-AEW matches, and I think he cuts a fun promo. I also think he's clearly enjoying himself, which makes watching his matches more enjoyable, in their own way.

That said, watching Samoa Joe just beat the absolute fuck out of Punk for most of the match was beautiful. I missed Joe in the original ROH and TNA/Impact, but his NXT and WWE stuff was so fun. Joe works at such a great pace, too. He literally always feels like a threat.

Seeing "real world championship" in quotes every time they mention CM Punk’s belt always reminds me of when AJ Styles was being announced in WWE as "The Man Who Would Like to be Announced as 'The Face that Runs the Place'"

Golden Elite vs Bullet Club Gold w/ Takeshita

Juice Robinson is my favorite feral little gremlin in pro wrestling.

Jay White is a beautiful piece of shit and I love him for it. He's also so fucking good in the ring.

Takeshita is also fantastic and has been consistently great.

I love how much everyone hates Don Callis.

Golden☆Lovers OTP

Hangman Adam Page is one of all-time favorite wrestlers. Just always happy to see him out there.

Ibushi tried to murder people with his kicks and it was fantastic shit.

A shitty surprise pin on Kenny Omega is absolutely on brand. I was peeved in a good way.

FTR vs Young Bucks

Fuck the Revival. I also like FTR a lot. Been a fan of theirs since NXT, and I loved seeing them draped in gold not that long ago.

I don't always feel like watching a Young Bucks match, but I always enjoy the match when it's done.

FTR and the Bucks were top-tier tag team wrestling today.

I legitimately expected FTR to lose, given the legal troubles that Cash could be facing. Seeing FTR win was a nice surprise.

FTR having arm bands for Brodie Lee, Bray Wyatt, and Jay Briscoe was so sweet, and so sad.

Stadium Stampede

Find someone who loves you as much as Eddie Kingston hates Claudi Castagnoli.

Mox looked so fucking cool walking out.

Oh my god, Trent, why, what the fuck. Please stop.

Someone getting skewers stabbed into their heads will always make me wince and laugh simultaneously.

Penta being walked backstage by medics only to return as Penta Oscuro was amazing shit. Penta is great.

Wheeler Yuta is the perfect person in BCC to be a bloodthirsty little goblin that you want to see eat the pin. He does his job well.

Also Best Friends hugging Yuta only to beat him up was gold.

I lost track of what was happening at least 400 times during the match and I don't care. I was thoroughly entertained.

Dr. Britt Baker, DMD v. Toni Storm v. Saraya v. Hikaru Shida

I assumed Saraya was going to win as soon as I saw her come out to Queen with her entire goddamn family walking out.

Toni Storm is a beautiful disaster.

In the event that Saraya wouldn't be winning, I didn't want Britt to win.

But that's also primarily because I *wanted* Shida to retain. Also, I love that Shida's theme has big 90s X-Men vibes.

Shida in general is just great. She should win every match.

I also just had no real investment in Brit for this match. She just kinda felt like she could have been nearly any other woman from the women's division. She wasn't *bad* by any means, just not someone I was pulling for or against.

I'm curious to see what happens with this implosion of the Outcasts now that Saraya and Toni aren't on good terms.

I dislike Ronnie Radke musically and as a person, so I'm not really thrilled at the idea of hearing Saraya's music more now that she's the champ.

At the same time, given all the shit she's been through, I can't be too mad about them giving her a run.

I still want Shida to have an actual good, long run though. I love her matches.

Christian Cage & Swerve vs. Darby Allin and Sting

Schiavone shouting "IT'S STING" is one of my favorite things in wrestling.

Joker Sting is fun as hell.

Swerve is actually the coolest motherfucker on the entire roster, and it is a literal crime that he doesn't have a belt.

Christian Cage is a menace and I can't get over that he wrestles in a sleeveless turtleneck now.

Darby is here for a good time, not a long time.

Sting is SIXTY-FOUR GODDAMN YEARS OLD AND SHOULD NOT BE DOING THIS STUFF.

Darby shouldn't either, but I'm fairly certain he's not even human anymore.

I love Swerve.

I also love Prince Nana.

Getting all of Wembly to shout "Swerve's house" probably felt cool.

This was fun as hell.

Will Ospreay vs Chris Jericho

bruv

Ospreay is so fucking good, dude. Like he's absolutely up there as one of the best to do this. Every match I've seen of his just blows me away.

Jericho is also absolutely one of the most versatile wrestlers of all time. I've seen this man reinvent himself like a dozen times, and every time feels just as natural as the one before it.

If they had Jericho win, there was going to be a riot.

Plz give me more Ospreay matches. Dude can fucking go.

I'm curious to know what happens with Jericho and Sammy now

House of Black vs The Acclaimed and Billy Gunn

HOB walking out with a lantern 😭

The Fireflies 😭

HOB looks so cool in white, holy shit.

I love Julia's hats.

I am not a cop, so obviously I love The Acclaimed.

Billy Gunn coming out in full-on Badd Ass Billy Gunn trunks made me feel like I was 12 again.

I love HOB, but if The Acclaimed didn't win this, after their whole mini arc of Gunn retiring, and Gunn bringing back BABG, I was gonna be mad.

Is there a rule that someone has to wreck Julia's shit every match, because lmao

A lot of fun.

Brody King scares the hell out of me.

Adam Cole vs. MJF

I went into this expecting heartbreak

Adam Cole, who took character inspiration from Handsome Jack from Borderlands 2, comes out sporting some definite Broderlands-vibe gear.

MJF is still wearing BTYBB gear.

MJF as this babyface-leaning thing is actually some of the greatest shit I've ever seen. The whole turmoil over using a weapon feels like Roddy Piper vs Bret Hart.

Cole being a desperate POS to the confused, hurt, and mad MJF was wonderful.

The tombstone onto the announce desk with metal reinforcement was brutal on my knees as a viewer.

lol Roddy. lmao.

MJF and Cole almost having a total falling out after the match was amazing.

Cole opting not to slam the AEW belt into MJF's head after the match, and they hug instead? Cinema.

Was I still deeply concerned that there was going to be a betrayal literally up until the PPV feed stopped? Oh hell yes. I watched Ciampa turn on Gargano after the little copyright stuff showed up in NXT. I will *still* be concerned about that until the moment it happens.

That said, I genuinely don't want it to happen because these dudes work so well together. They're just so fucking dorky in the best way.

Misc. Other Thoughts

I missed whatever happened with Miro and Hobbs, because I just missed the whole first hour of Zero Hour.

Apparently there was Drama involving Punk and Jack Perry-- I guess related to the use of actual glass in the windshield of the car that Hook and Perry wrestled on? Whatever. Punk isn't why I watch this stuff, but I would rather Perry not get screwed.

Why did they keep panning over to Mercedes Moné if she wasn't gonna do anything other than vibe to The Acclaimed's theme?

That being said, I was loving the wig she had on. I've been liking the shorter-cut wigs compared to the long-ass stuff she was wearing as Sasha Banks

A lot of people kept expecting Edge to show up at some point. I'm pretty sure I saw somewhere that his contract was extended.

Overall, this was, in all honesty, probably the best wrestling PPV I've ever watched. And, thanks to the invention of VHS tapes in my youth and the WWE Network as an adult, I have seen a *lot* of PPVs. This felt bigger than any Wrestlemania I've watched. I can't compare it to Wrestle Kingdom because I've never actually seen one of those all the way through. But it had numerous people who have been in Wrestle Kingdom matches, which were great.

I'm just annoyed that All Out is next goddamn week, because I don't want to shell out $100 in two weeks for this stuff.

Regardless. I love wrestling. We are in one of the greatest eras of pro wrestling, if not *the* greatest. What a time to be a fan.

[pegunicent]

Things Fandoms do to you

So @misstrips and I have a nice little DC/Pokemon AU thing going with a splash of Vagrant Story and today as I was suffering the heat and welding together an after burner for a smaller sized crematory I had the thought of Jason, Roy and Sydney from that cross over ending up in Genshin Land.

You see the thing is Roy grew up in the Titans. The original Titans you know, with Dicky boy. And Short Pants was a feral monster with a smile that made you forget about the blood on his knuckles and the steel in his pixie toed boots. Roy was putting his arrows through people's joints before he could *roll* a joint, and he was there for all the stupid shit a bunch of teenagers with little parental oversight and way too much hero worship for their 'mentors' got into from orgies to war crimes to alien war crime orgies. He was there right at the start when they had to actually *vote* for the worst mentor in the League, before it became Ollie's official unofficial title for all time.

And he was there when Jason became Robin and the feral Dicky grew up and mellowed out and turned all that anger into a more positive 'I'm gonna big brother so hard Bruce chews his face off' direction, because what the Bats have is complicated and messy and a bit incestious at times but Bruce *started out* trying to be Dicky's big brother. Not his father. And then he *adopted* Jason. And none of the assholes ever sat down and actually talked about any of it.

But Jason was a good kid up until the whole thing in Africa. And now he's a feral monster of a vigilante and a half decent guy the rest of the time. Still an overly dramatic theater kid like, living undeadish proof that you can beat a kid to death with a crowbar and a bomb but you can't make him give up the *drama*.

Roy is an old hand with feral Gothamites though. He's got this. Between him and Lian they've got their gun loving muscle man on something of an even keel.

But then there's Sydney.

See Dick and Jay, they're feral. Domesticated species that went off the rails and have to be treated with care and respect until they remember that warm homes and hot baths and regular meals are all good things they can have. Sydney is wild. Sydney was never domesticated. Sydney has to be shown, and convinced, and reassured over and over that living inside walls is safe, that food he didn't gather himself isn't poison, that clothes are actually a requirement for dealing with humans. That humans are worth dealing with. Sydney will probably never *be* domesticated, but in a pinch and with some hard bribery he can fake it long enough for a pokemon tournament, or a trip through town, or even one time a visit to Lian's daycare.

And humans are just smart enough to look at Roy's wicked grin and Jason's bulging muscles and decide this is trouble they don't want to bother with most days, but Sydney tends to evade direct notice. He looks like a kid. He sounds like a kid. If you don't stare into pokemon crimson eyes and realize there's something completely inhuman staring back, you might be forgiven for accepting the evidence that Sydney is a kid.

Which is why when the three of them stumble out of the sudden wormhole in the woods, onto a perfectly picturesque dirt roadway leading to a city straight out of one of Lian's story books, Jason curses and Roy sighs. Because Roy was a Titan and this isn't his first alternate dimension, and Jason's been worse places. They aren't that troubled.

Until the guy with the huge sword and his friend in the eye patch give them the usual once over, stop at Sydney staring at a glowing little roadside statue, and all the alarm bells start ringing. Because they look at Sydney the way people who haven't seen the kid 'squish' Cypher agents, but have heard the horror stories and maybe helped clean up the residues do.

And *that* makes Roy want more explosive arrows.

[danwhobrowses]

My Highlights from WWE Elimination Chamber & NJPW Battle in the Valley

So instead of my usual long-winded reviews I'm deciding on something else, just highlighting the stuff I like from the PPVs, in this case two on the same night

On one end we have matches like Jay White vs Eddie Kingston and Mercedes Moné vs KAIRI, and on the other you have Elimination Chambers and Sami vs Roman. Let's see what I liked

Spoilers for the PPVs, watch them first if you don't want to be spoiled

WWE Elimination Chamber

Starting with the easy one, Montreal's crowd was a huge plus, proper into it just like El Paso was last week on AEW's shows

Liv Morgan x Elimination Chambers, girl just loves some gnarly spots so you gotta appreciate the gusto. Liked the way she was eliminated too, even if I had hoped she'd be final two

KANA. Asuka is on yet another resurgence and she deserves it. Back to her roots, she once again proves to be the most viable opponent for the champions, and frankly I think she should beat Bianca (tbf I wanted Asuka vs Charlotte: the revenge so we could get Rhea vs Bianca but this way if okay too) so she can get a world title reign that doesn't get bullshitted over

FINALLY DOING THE HOLLYWOOD PARODIES

Beth Phoenix sporting a bit of Bull Nakano facepaint

Dominik's ability to draw heat is great, he knows his role

Balor crossing from under the ring to sweep Edge

Beth and Edge did the Big Rig (Cole it's not the Shatter Machine anymore)

We need Rhea vs Beth one-on-one, make Rhea champion and have Beth challenge down the line

Starting the US title EC with Gargano vs Rollins, a feud we should have for Mania instead of Rollins vs Logan Paul

Theory locking himself in the pod was a better spot than when Carmella did it

Tezzy Ford, to absolutely nobody's surprise, did amazing, he's a year overdue in needing that singles run

Roman's character work during the match (which was slow going) is still great, even gaslighting Sami's wife. The psychology in hindsight was good too, because all the rest holds was to INTENTIONALLY kill the crowd energy, because that cut off Sami's energy source from Montreal's crowd

Also Sami's selling, not just for taking offence but also dishing it out, you feel the adrenaline carrying him through

Heyman thinking he could fight Owens

NJPW Battle in the Valley

A surprise mention of Mascara Dorada's (aka Gran Metalik) AEW Dark win run

Adrian Quest and Kevin Knight, as well as Dorada and Volador Jr's, synergy was great

The sheer madness it is that Hideo Itami vs Darren Young (with Aiden English on commentary) would've been a 205 live taping at best in WWE and yet it's now a title match on a NJPW PPV

KENTA being a bastard, hell put KENTA vs PAC as a feud have a proper Battle of the Bastards

Rosser's STF-Chickenwing was unique-looking

Reminder that MCMG debuted 17 years ago and they're still great

That one fan who sold Jay's Too Sweet like he was just given $100

Jay White also being a bastard, he will land wherever he ends up

The absolute CRACK you hear when Eddie chops someone, few do it better

Eddie outwitting Jay by rolling out of the ring after being hit with a Blade Runner

Jay kicking out of 3 Urakens, a half and half and a Northern Lights Driver!

Eddie giving Jay respect post-match as well, Jay could've easily left after Hikuleo, he could've just disappeared but instead he put Eddie over afterwards. I'll say again, he'll land wherever he ends up

Dave Finlay's promo after makes sense, that's how you get heat

Tom Lawlor hamming it up

Homicide sporting a Jay armband for Jay Briscoe

DVD, off the ring, through a door!

Commentary taking time to thank Jay White for his career

Watching ZSJ transition through submissions is like watching a sculptor work clay

I've only ever seen Clark Connors wrestle twice (first time being Forbidden Door) and I've enjoyed his energy both times

Mercedes out with the TCS Hana Kimura look, a bittersweet moment really, a great tribute but god I miss Hana, and I'm still not over the fact that the ones they charged got away with just an $80 fine

KAIRI hitting Mercedes with a table powerbomb off the stage

Mercedes this time hitting the Mone-maker cleanly

Mercedes landed, it was ultimately so important that she landed on her first post-WWE match and she did, she was worth the Mone. As much as I'm sad that KAIRI's reign was short, it makes sense

The stipulation of the main event, Okada and Tana are great wrestlers, but New Japan had fallen back on Tana vs Okada way way too many times

Overall

Match of the Night: US Championship Elimination Chamber (Jay vs Eddie is a close second but in spite of the shit finish I felt more entertained by the chamber)

Best Performance: Sami Zayn

Best Attire: Mercedes Mone's Hana Kimura gear

Best Spot: Montez Ford splashing from the chamber roof