#out (IT DOESNT dont get your medical advice from me)

[marblerose-rue]

hiiii guys guess who decided literally the night before they were gonna do art fight this year so theyre currently rushing to get references out

[seasickzig]

trash post from my phone but i CANNOT believe that some people still believe tics are controllable. Just saw a post on a disability subreddit where someone was asking for advice because their tics offended a coworker. The comments were all saying things about how this person shouldnt have sexually explicit tics and needs to get therapy and medication immediately. Telling them that they have to be able to do the job (which was not even what the post was about???). Telling them that since they didn’t have ADA accommodations in place, they’re stigmatizing tics. WHAT THE HELL? WHAT THE HELL?

Tourettes is INVOLUNTARY. We CANNOT control it. We can try to hold it in or redirect it but its like trying not to cough when youre sick. Damn near impossible, and leaves you crying. There is NO medication MADE for tics. It is frequently treated with seizure medication, and, fun fact, if you take seizure meds and you Dont have seizures, then you might DEVELOP seizures. I was on a Blood Pressure med for my tourettes and had to stop because it triggered heart issues. Redirection therapy doesnt work for everyone, and for me, still causes tic attacks!

Anyway shout out to all of my tourettic and tic disorder baddies. I love you all, and you’re perfect with or without treatment!! The way your brain works is nothing to apologize for, and other people’s reactions to the things out of your control are NOT your responsibility.

[cacowhistle]

i'm drafting this post two weeks ahead of time. today (the day im posting this) is dipper vs. manliness day for @gravity-falls-daily and since dipper was literally my transmasc awakening i want to talk abt the trans-coding in his writing that was not intentional but that makes him so relatable to me :] his struggles with masculinity are based on alex hirsch's own struggles with masculinity while he was growing up--it's not solely a transgender experience, but it's one that a lot of us can end up relating to, especially when we're around dipper's age in the show!!

dipper vs manliness is very obviously like. yeah. dipper struggles with his masculinity! people look at him and point out his more feminine traits--higher pitched voice, lack of hair in certain places, his enjoyment of traditionally "girly" music... he isnt physically that strong (at least not in the beginning), he can be a little cowardly (i imagine anyone would be, in half the situations he gets into)... these are all things that people look at as distinctly not masculine, even if those traits dont mean anything in regards to gender. and that bothers him! hes upset when people look at him and dont necessarily see his gender the way he wants them to.

its something that resonates w me a lot as a trans man, especially as im pre any medical changes i want to make, so i still get perceived as feminine and whatnot a lot of the time! but the main lesson that dipper learns in dipper vs manliness is that, like. what other people think? that doesnt matter. being a man is whatever you want it to be. and that might be different from what other people want it to be! dipper isnt going to always fit the stereotypical mold of a man, but as long as hes comfortable in his own masculinity, thats what counts! i think it's a really sweet message to send to kids--and it's also one of my favorite "grunkle stan being a good caretaker" moments when he. its not like, comforting, and its not really Advice, but when they talk at the end of the episode? and stan affirms him and tells him he's his own man? good shit.

external validation is good, and its important in a lot of instances and makes the world better and safer for trans people, but really, gender is what you make of it. as long as you are happy with your own gender and presentation, youre good. theres no wrong way to exist as a man or woman or neither or any combination of anything, and i really like the way this episode sells that.

[intotheelliwoods]

May have gone a little overboard with this ask hahahahaaaa... @wakerrife

If you are asking how to write ports from a story perspective:

Ports/prosthetics are still under lots of development in real life, which leaves such a big fantasy element to them for starters! Theres no right or wrong way to entirely depict them in stories you know? So theres my first advice, write them in a way that ties in to the theme of your story!

Slapping some good old FMA comparisons here since I saw you were a fan!

In FMA, when attaching the actual arm to the port its depicted as a very painful process that totally just takes the wind out of you for a while. This is since the whole motivation of that story is to retain the flesh arm back, shoving in your face how painful the ordeal is drives that motivation home and so that writing style makes complete sense!

In 2AL meanwhile, the whole story is about acceptance, therefore I opted not to have the whole ordeal of attaching/detaching the arm be a painful process. I wanted to drive home the idea that its is completely alright and normal for Leo to have a robot arm, as an every day painless thing just like a regular arm, and so my opting for it indeed being painless helped drive that theme of acceptance home

Meanwhile if you are asking from a more medical perspective:

I am going to be flat out honest and say I am pulling half of this out of my ass hahhaaa, apologies I have no resources since I did not put in much research! Most of what I say just comes from background knowledge, but hey do give me some slack here, I am a biology student who is still learning!

Although most of my inspiration for care and all, I actually loosely based off infected ear piercings believe it or not! For example, did you know if an earring gets too badly infected and is not removed in time, the ear can start re-growing around the piercing and just sorta,,, consume it?? Its entirely possible for nearly any foreign implant to get rejected by a body and I find that concept so cool. So hey there is food for thought, if you dont properly take care of a prosthetic port skin can start growing over it! Or the body can reject it!

I do have some more thoughts regarding care and such that ive been thinking about as of late if you happen to be interested, who knows maybe something can inspire you!

Make sure the skin directly touching the metal doesnt dry up! Since the skin there is used to being fully enclosed by a warm shoulder, not thinned out and pressed against metal! Its easy for the skin to start drying and cracking around there. Preventing it from doing that can be done easily by just using a q-tip or your finger and rubbing vaseline or lotion of some kind around the skin. Reason you dont want it to dry up and crack would be since the cracks can crawl further up the shoulder and tear perfectly fine skin, which would definitely get irritating after a long while if your whole shoulder ended up just being decked in scabs. Even worse of one of the splits in the skin got infected. No one wants an infected port just like no one wants an infected ear piercing.

Be sure to clean the area where the skin and metal actually meet! Same reason as above, you do not want an infected port! An infected port can potentially lead to a rejected port which is never a good thing! Cleaning it meanwhile usually looks like taking a toothpick soaked in hand sanitizer or rubbing alcohol, and scraping out dirt/germs from the slim space in between the skin and metal, this is so the skin there doesnt grow over whatever gunk may be there and cause infection.

Make sure the inside of the port itself stays relatively clean! Clean out grime and gunk! Make it so the arm can actually fit into the port! The arm cannot fit into the port if you have 2 inches of mud stuck inside the rod, or meddled in the ratchet system, or whatever fantasy cool system you have! If you try and fit an arm into a port with stuff all up inside it you could potentially break the arm! Or if it doesnt break then overall quality would definitely be lowered through the more funked up movements trying their best when covered in stuff! Anyways cleaning the port itself depends on what materials you have half the time, looks different for different people ig!

Oh and reasons no one wants an infected port:

The slim chance the body just starts rejecting the port and trying to force it out

The slim chance that if the port was not put in correctly/out far enough from the body, the body will start trying to regrow around the port

The fact that infections are extremely painful especially in such a large surface area in comparison to just an ear

If the infection pain was not enough, adding a massive metal arm that pulls on the skin would be even more painful

Would also want to add that if your body rejects the port, its a god awful experience. Rejection means that your body tries to push the port itself out of the body, a very painful experience, it usually does this by growing in such a way that puts force to sorta try and pop the port out. Issue is, the port is very much bolted down via ball joints onto the shoulder blade and collar bone, and so the flesh that grows under it to push it out ends up just gushing out the sides of the port as gross as it sounds. Its a really nasty experience. So without help via surgery to remove the port, have fun being in agony the rest of your life! If this happens and you do manage to remove the port, you would have to undergo waiting for the shoulder to heal up again before even daring to put in the port once again. Should also note that this can only be done so many times, since with each surgery to remove and install, more and more excess flesh gets cut of, until you may eventually reach a point where there is not even enough healthy flesh to sustain the port any longer.

Hope some of this was helpful!! Oops I had too much fun writing this up!

More asks under the cut!

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@archieagain AOSDJNOSDFJKF HII HELLO!!! IM ELLIWOODS!!! I DONT KNOW!!!! have a great day you made my week btw <3 <3

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@gemini-forest everyone.. everyone point and laugh at the typo everyone!!!!! giggles!!!!!!

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@snipersiniora 2 Left Arms my favorite fanfic ever!!!!!

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@skylabrea Annnddd bookmarked for later! :) Thank you so much!!!

[themoodyestj]

Hello, my beloved.

today i bring you a list of stuff you can try to not be so bitter and miserable all the time.

1. breath slowly, in and out, relax.

2. take a nap

3. eat a cookie

4. listen to some music

5. touch some grass

6. get laid ( if no one wants you, hands and a picture of Dee are valid too!)

7. hug your pet ( or a cactus if you don't have a pet)

8. practice acceptance (Dee is the Queen and you're never going to be her and Jensen is never going to fuck you)

9. find someone you actually like and admire, and fan over that person (not some guy you think is a mediocre actor and a pushover who can't stand for himself and needs idiots from the internet to defend him from his wife)

10. remember that i love you, and this is not hate, just constructive criticism because i want you to be better.

❤️ your secret admirer

Awww, my secret admirer again. :D Does that mean I'm getting flowers everyday now? So happy to see you, honey. Thanks for all the advice, I take them to heart. Although, sadly, I have to say I'm not as bitter or as miserable as you may want me to be. I do have a family, two cats and a dog, and a career. I do get laid quite often and im a fierce advocate of lone intimacy. Super healthy, I do it all. But also, I have an opinion. One that ruffles many many feathers, but in case you didnt notice, I don't quite care. But hey, if it feeds your delusion that all people who disagree with you are sad and lonely, by all means, stick to it. We dont want you having a psychotic breakdown, do we? Lets try to avoid that at all costs. I gotta say, number 8 sent me. We don't all have the same aspirations in life. Perhaps you'd like to sleep with Jensen (cause honey, the projection is strong here) and you use Dee as a heavy self insert, but I honestly dont want to. It is perfectly ok to like someone (and at the same time critique someone) and not want to sleep with them. I know, mindblowing, right? Such a complex concept, Im sure you find it hard to grasp. But just because its hard for you to understand, it doesnt make it less real. I bet a lot is really hard for you to understand, so...

Danneel being a queen? Of what exactly? Honey, I don't want to be her, I wanna be me. Should i aspire to be someone, it would be a woman who in fact has a flourishing career, and not someone whose assets are basically marrying someone. I'd aspire to be someone with talent, inteligence, gumption. Not someone who still rides on the small parts she played in the past because she knows there isnt much really going on for her. Someone who overpriced her pictures at Wales Con expecting to have a great reception only to find a very small line for her and feeling desperate enough to take pics with her kids insteadto feel relevant. You know, Id actually be less critic of her if she was more honest about herself. If she wasnt so fast to take jabs at her own husband when she herself has very little to offer. But hey, if thats your Queen... By all means. She definitely isnt mine. I dont think Jensen is mediocre. I think he let himself go a little. I think he was happier in SPN days and I miss that light, to be honest. Maybe ill see him improve in his next projects and ill be the first to applaud him for that (and ill post about it too, so stay tuned). As of lately... Ive seen a man who plans a concert with no AC, struggling to sing, I see a man who's tense next to his wife, I see a man who seems to be self medicating to cope and that worries me. I do hope he improves, I wish him no harm. But of course this doesnt help your delulu, so i know your brain will totally ommit what i just wrote. Ok, this is all the attention youre getting now. Im starting to think you do actually love me, cause this was fun! You delulus never fail in giving me a good hearted laugh! See you soon, secret admirer!

[lycandrophile]

hey, sorry idk if its ok for me to ask for advice here, but im really lost and dont know where else to go.

i might be starting testosterone really soon, (via informed consent) but i keep flipping back and forth on whether or not i'm sure i want it. some days i think, "yes 100% im a man i want T right now" and thinking abt the effects of T makes me euphoric. other days i think, "wait AM i sure tho? what if it turns out i hate it actually" and thinking abt the effects of T on those days makes me anxious and ambivalent.

i think it might be just a fear of change, but i'm not sure, and i'm worried about making a decision i'll regret forever. it doesnt help i keep seeing ppl say things like "you need to be 100% sure you want hrt before u start because going back and forth puts a huge strain on the body" etc, but i dont know if i ever will be 100% sure.

what do you make of this? do i really need to be 100% sure? am i rushing in too fast? or is this just anxiety talking?

i spent years agonizing over if i was really sure that i wanted to start t, and you know what it taught me?

no one is ever 100% sure about anything. it’s an impossible task. that’s just not how people work — you’re always going to find more things to be anxious or unsure about when you think about it because it’s an unknown thing and it’s completely natural to be at least a little unsure of unknown things.

and most of the time, nobody expects you to be 100% sure about big decisions because we all know it’s an unfair expectation. nobody told me i couldn’t go to college because i wasn’t 100% sure where i wanted to go. nobody tells you to never drive anywhere because you’re not 100% sure that the car won’t crash. accepting risk is a part of life. trusting ourselves to make the best decisions we can — and trusting ourselves to be able to handle whatever happens next — is an unavoidable part of life.

the only reason we’re held to that impossible standard of 100% certainty when it comes to medically transitioning is because people are transphobic and they want us to second guess ourselves and put off hormones or surgery out of fear. if everyone waited until they were 100% sure, no one would ever transition, and that’s exactly what they want.

i look at it like this: hormones are like any other medication. you take them because you decide they have a good shot at making your life better even though there’s also a chance they might be ineffective, have bad side effects, or even make things worse in the end. we accept that risk every time we take a medication because we weigh the options and decide the good that could come of them is worth that risk. imagine if doctors only offered medical care to people when they were 100% sure it would work and not have any side effects — they would never do anything at all!

i can’t tell you if hrt is right for you. i can’t tell you if the risk is worth it for you. what i can tell you is that, when i was unsure about what to do, there were two things that made me decide it was worth the risk:

the first is that i knew i wanted to give myself a chance. the idea of going on hormones only to get more dysphoria from it sounded terrifying, but the reality was that i was already living with dysphoria! and the idea of just accepting that because i was afraid to try the thing that could make it better was even more terrifying. at the end of the day, i decided it was better to choose the option that could make things better than it was to just spend the rest of my life wondering if it would’ve helped. the worst case scenario in both choices is dysphoria, so i figured, why not pick the option where the best case scenario is euphoria? i know dysphoria is something i can live with because i’ve been doing it for years, so i felt that i could trust myself to be able to deal with that outcome if it came. i knew it was possible that i would regret it and wish i had never started t, but i also knew i would regret it even more if i went my whole life never having given myself a chance at something better than the dysphoria i already live with. i figured, if i have to take a risk, why not take the one that excites me instead of the one i would just be taking out of fear?

the second is that hormones are fucking slow. there can be some changes that happen fast but for the most part, the changes on t take time to happen fully, and if i wanted even more time i knew i could take a lower dose to slow things down further. it’s not like you just wake up one day with a totally different body — it’s a process, and if at any point in that process you realize you don’t like what’s happening, you can stop! you’re completely in control; the second it starts to feel like it’s making something worse instead of better, you can decide to stop taking it. even with the changes that came quickest for me, i had time to assess as they started happening, and it would’ve been as simple as putting down the syringe and never using it again if i decided i didn’t want those changes to continue.

(and the people who say you can’t start and stop because of the strain on your body are exaggerating — i had to start and stop multiple times because i was having allergic reactions to all of the serums we tried, and i was totally fine. that was never even a concern my nurse brought up to me. i’m sure it’s not ideal to do that constantly, but i don’t think it’s a big thing you have to worry about.)

again, i can’t tell you if starting t is the right move for you. all of this is just how i made that decision for myself; i can’t make yours for you. what i can tell you is that you are more than capable of making a thoughtful and informed decision without being 100% sure. certainty is not a requirement.

and frankly, anyone who tells you they were 100% sure when they made that decision is either lying about it because they feel like they should’ve been totally certain, or they were in a position to make the decision so quickly that it didn’t leave time to mull things over and find things to be unsure of.

which leads me to my final point: if you’re thinking about it this hard and trying to be this meticulous about making the right decision, you’re absolutely not rushing into it. whatever decision you make, you’ve clearly put a lot of thought into it and that’s all anyone can ask of you.

this is your decision, not anyone else’s, and already you have everything you need to make the best decision you possibly can. trust yourself to choose wisely, and trust yourself to be able to handle whatever your choice brings. you got this.

[itsaspectrumcomic]

hi im really sorry to bother you, and obvs you dont need to answer this at all im just some internet guy lol but do you think i could get some advice?

so ive been diagnosed with autism for like, 5 years (was diagnosed p late, in comparison to others) and im beginning to have some real goddamn big suspicions that i Also have adhd (because. yaknow. the gift that keeps on giving yk? lol). i have a lot of really major issues with executive dysfunction that is directly impacting schoolwork and also a lot of stuff in my life, generally. ive also got a lot of memory issues nd junk

and the thing is; ive got a therapist, but due to a whole slew of things im really scared to like, bring this up with her yk? and, like, im a minor so i cant exactly just seek it out myself yk? and i cant really talk to my parents about it because my mom is a very specific kind of vaguely ableist and my dad generally just isnt involved with that whole section of my being, yk? like, he doesnt manage any of my therapy, aside from bringing me to appointments when my mother isnt available.

and like, ive brought certain things UP to my therapist before and it went mostly ok, aside from one pretty distressing misunderstanding but it feels different for this one because i really do need medication for this, i feel. and thats a whole thing with my mother specifically, since at the start of the whole diagnosis process she outright refused the idea of medication and like. idk man, im so super sorry to write a whole bullshit essay when you're literally just vibing but yk. idk who else to ask lol, and you seem like you know what youre doing i guess?

real sorry. thanks in advance. insert other applicable signoff message here

I'm sorry you're struggling with this. Your therapist should be someone you can talk to about things like this but I understand being anxious about it. Are you afraid to bring it up because she's said ableist/anti-adhd stuff in the past or you have reason to suspect she won't help? If that's the case I really recommend trying to get a different therapist if you can. You deserve a therapist you feel safe sharing things like this with.

If it's impacting schoolwork it might be worth talking to your teachers to see if there's any additional support you can get from them. You don't have to tell them you suspect ADHD if you don't want to, you can just tell them you've been struggling with certain aspects of school and hopefully they can help. School is hard for lots of people so know you're not alone.

It might be different where you live, but in the UK you're able to make your own doctors appointments if you're over 16 so asking a doctor about getting a referral for a diagnosis/medication could be an option as well. Although waiting lists for that are incredibly long at the moment - I've personally been waiting nearly a year just to get an appointment 🙃

In the meantime, have you heard of How to ADHD on YouTube? Her channel has lots of videos with advice and various discussions about living with ADHD which you might find helpful.

Sorry I don't know if that helped much but I hope you're able to get support soon!

[meetthegofer]

🦀🦅💕😑💀 (esp interested in the last one considering game mechanics)

THANK YOU TORRANCE MY GOAT.. once again since this will be a little long its going under a readmore 🔥 thank you though this is a very fun selection

🦀- How did they handle realizing they were in love? Embarrassed? Nervous? Mad?

fossey was absolutely the more accepting of his feelings of the two in this regard; though they were definitely pretty nervous they tended to downplay it a lot, like "welllll... people get crushes on coworkers with all the time!! plus its not like anything's gonna come of it, so its fine for me to like him.. im sure ill get over it soon" <- that. generally just didnt register that they might have a chance At All and as a result didnt really catch themself reading too much into his words/actions because "well its not like he'd like me anyways! that would be wasting my time. i have a job to do, after all".

sniper on the other hand...

for him, the realization was like being hit in the face with a brick. not because he thought fossey was particularly undesirable in any way that would make him go "i cant believe i like THEM", but rather because he was still operating under the expectation of not really getting to know them or really form any relationship/attachment past just. general coworker amiability. it honestly made him panic a bit, because he wasnt sure if this would affect his performance in battle ["if i get hung up on something like that, itll be easier for me to get distracted and hurt more easily. or worse, ill underperform" <- that sorta thing] and again, he tries to consider himself as being somewhat divorced from feelings, at least on a professional level. of course, we know this to not be true [calls his parents regularly, shows genuine care to his teammates, etc etc] but well. hes stupid. <3.

🦅- How good are their friends at being wingmen? Do they even help at all or just sit back watching the pining with a bag of popcorn?

...you could not possibly have a worse ensemble of wingmen than the options laid out for these two. at the absolute least, fossey has the support of miss pauling, who reassures them about things when they feel down. however shes not really an active wingman? like she encourages fossey but doesnt ever actively try to vouch for fossey as a potential partner for sniper, mostly because fossey has asked her Not to [going back to the whole lack of perceived desirability they feel and all]. other than that, they havent really confided in their feelings to anyone else, mostly because they know theres literally no circumstance under which it would end without great humiliation.

sniper, on the other hand, tries to be discreet when asking for advice, but everyone kind of Knows who hes got his eyes set on. so when he tries to ask for help and is immediately met with a chorus of "ooooh so youre finally gonna ask out fossey?" hes like FUCK YOU and also how did you know [fake idgafer they saw you saying good morning!! when you dont do that for anyone else!!!!]. so i think he would get frustrated and then not ask for help again

that said i can definitely see a few of the mercs trying to take things into their own hands. scout makes stupid jokes to fossey about sniper ["yknow hes got a picture of ya in his camper, right?" "HE WANTS TO SHOOT ME?" "NO"], soldier probably tries giving him unsolicited advice that literally only worked because zhanna matches his freak so well, and medic breaks HIPAA in a strange way to try and bring them closer together. none of it ever works but theyre all quite content to watch the two of them very awkwardly dance around their feelings for one another and tease them about it [though mostly sniper. since fossey does a shockingly good job at hiding her side of things + they havent known her nearly as long]

💕- Who confessed first and how? Did it go as planned or did shenanigans ensue?

oh this ones fun. they both kinda confessed at different times, but the first one just... didnt work? going back to this question set, after fossey apologizes/confronts sniper about his avoidance, he Does confess his feelings, but does so in a more vague way that fossey absolutely Did Not Clock as romantic. unfortunately this ended with the most brutally unintentional friendzone known to man

its not as though All hope is lost, though. like i said, there were multiple "confessions", albeit fossey's was admittedly much more thought out in terms of like. the specifics.

see, they have a really bad habit of overworking [mostly because they lose track of time very easily, and their work is so repetitive its easy to get lost in the sauce. they arent a very intentional overachiever], and a lot of sleep problems. as such, it was bound to happen that they would one day fall asleep at their desk, having worked themself to exhaustion and not really noticing it until they'd woken up...

sniper notices fossey sleeping at their desk, hours after they were supposed to leave for the day [being a bit of an insomniac himself, he would sometimes just. walk around. everyone on the team is kind of a freak it makes sense to me. you know]. so he goes and wakes them up like "hey dude you were supposed to leave hours ago" and theyre like FUCK right ill be out of here in a second. however, before they can leave, sniper remembers that fossey usually Walks home. so he offers them a ride, because the idea of them walking home alone at like 2am greatly unsettles him. they agree, and since its only a 15/20 minute walk it ends up being a very short drive, spent in an admittedly comfortable silence between the two. maybe a longing glance or two is passed without the other noticing.

and just before fossey steps out of the van to go fuck off to their apartment building, without even thinking they lean over and give him a kiss on the cheek, then step out and wave goodbye like nothing happened. [its not until theyre actively closing the door to the apartment building behind them that they realize what theyve done. and by then theyre like FUCK]

sniper is obviously speechless, because just a couple months ago he got friendzoned and he was still wrestling with the fact that his feelings were only getting stronger with time. he just kind of sits there for a second before he realizes he probably looks crazy just sitting there in a van outside an apartment complex that is primarily home to like. old ladies. and on the drive back to his usual parking space for the camper hes just like Fuuuck work is gonna be so awkward tomorrow.

and the next day they do talk it out.. fossey stops by his camper and is like Heyyy so can we um 😅 talk about last night haha... and they give a verbal confession but end it with like "im not really expecting you to feel the same way but since you basically already know i figured id tell you..." and snipers just there like It is unbelievable how much i feel the same way. i imagine the conversation itself would be quite awkard/seemingly "anticlimactic" for the start of a relationship, sort of like [incoming maine moment] shimamitsu's first little stint as a couple in skip to loafer where they just very awkwardly are like "do you... wanna try going out?" after a rather embarrassingly sudden confession. but both of them are autistic and awkward so <3 love is love <3

😑- How easily do they get jealous and how do they handle it?

fossey is admittedly not very jealous at all LOL though this mostly comes from the fact that they dont place very high value in themself. so theyre like "? if he ever found someone else he'd just go for it man i dont think it'd be worthwhile to keep me around just to cheat". they also just arent really the possessive type, since they do actually trust him quite a bit in this regard and are very much of the "if you love something let it go" mindset. however in the context where i ship sniper with the other mercs theyre very chill with it. because fossey has the fujoshi spirit 👍

if they ever Would get jealous i think they would handle it well enough on their own, though. they tried exactly one [1] time to make a joke about sniper leaving for someone else and he was MORTIFIED so they were like Damn i probably shouldnt do that again that was a little mean.

sniper i think would probably be a little bit more jealous? it doesnt come up very much, but every once in a while someone gets just a liiittle too close or looks a liiittle too long and hes like ? You could back up a little bit!

he mostly keeps it to himself since fossey isn't and has never been the type to pursue or flirt with others even in a playful context, so when he Does get jealous its usually directed at the other party. i think early on he mightve gone to fossey about it first and when they got confused [because they didnt think the other person saw them that way + were absolutely NOT trying to go for them] he realized it didnt make much sense and didnt really bring it up like that again. not much reason to blame fossey for how others feel when they arent the one Inviting those feelings, yknow? at most he might be like "damn that guy would Not leave you alone" but even then it happens quite rarely, so its not something they really have to address more than like. once or twice a year. that said i Do think he might get a little more clingy without really noticing it... hugging a little more tightly or casually throwing an arm around their shoulders a little longer than usual.

💀- If the canon character is canonically dead, how did your OC handle their death? (Or did you completely omit their death cause fuck canon?)

this one is interesting, not just because of the game mechanics but also because of his canon [albeit temporary] comic death. when considering respawn compatibility + mechanics and the nature of the game, i think fossey is desensitized enough to how much violence occurs around these guys on a daily basis that the concept of sniper being hurt in this way doesnt really faze him any more than it does miss pauling or any other merc. like he knows he'll be back. its fine. though i do think in the back of his mind he sometimes worries that one day sniper might come back and not remember/not love/not care for him anymore, although this has yet to happen, and if scout's persistence with trying to court miss pauling is any proof, it likely never will.

his comic death, however, is a different story, primarily because it left him with some pretty permanent scars. fossey freaked out so fucking bad when they found out what happened [since they werent present for it] and they just like. almost couldnt really believe it? the desensitization to his death in the context of the gravel war + respawn machine and how it functions made them less cognizant of the idea that Hey he could still die for real one day. and that realization shook them pretty badly... if they were actually present for it i think they would genuinely be inconsolable for a while. but LUCKILY hes back 👍 insert i cant help myself "all clean!" image here

[the-octopod]

kwazii who’s your favorite ship mate

Me?? Favorite ship mate?? How could I have a favorite ship mate?!?! I love them all!! I love the Captain for his bravery, strength, and how kind he is, I love Peso for his quick thinking, medical abilites, and how kind HE is also, I love Dashi for ALSO being kind, being really cool with computers and helping me out with my phone and being pachient with me, I love Tweak for how cool she is also and how she doesnt get mad at me if i mess up. I love shellington for making me feel cool and teaching me lots of knew things.

I love Inkling for being a wise old man who gives really good advice and noledge, helping me with my spelling without getting fruschrated like Shellington does, and also he gives good dating adcive too

And the vegimals are a whole other story, but of COURSE i love em!! Theyre little rascals!!! And they help around the 'pod too, so i like that theyre helpful and always wanting to play around too.

So yeah I love me whole crew. Theyre the best crew a pirate, or an Octonaut, could ask for. And I DONT have a favrite!! But I kiss Shellington and no one else. So- maybe, if that counts.

Love , from

Kwazii

[whumpshaped]

How do you write gore? I am interested in this process.

alright okay so. this got long and i also mention some brief examples of gore in there. i hope its somewhat helpful?? or at all?? im not sure. im not great at giving advice im sorry

gore is something very precious and intimate to me. i feel like i approach it in a way people would approach a tender smut scene. because its the same to me. its being able to peel back someones little layers. to be inside them. to know them. to know them better than they know themselves, because honestly, when was the last time you took a peek at your own kidneys? yeah i thought so. gore too takes two or more people because whatever gore you can inflict on yourself is Nothing compared to the tender intimacy of someone else digging around in your stomach. its vulnerable. its beautiful.

as for literal descriptions, i always try to get very visceral with it, because i feel like it deserves detail and long drawn out paragraphs of description. there are so many sensations and sounds and sights and smells to describe. i cant write super detailed smut but i can write the exact way someone would reach inside someone else's ribcage and slide their fingers under the bone to caress their lungs. its just so much more comfortable to me. it feels like home.

i look at tons of images of specific elements of gore i want to write, real images, drawings, medical illustrations etc. when i can, i watch surgery videos on it. i want to know what it's like so i can write it as best as i can.

i like to relate it to my own life too. shout out to my 5th grade literature teacher who said "whenever i think about being burned at the stake, i like to imagine how much it hurts when i accidentally burn my hand on the clothing iron or stove. and thats just a moment, and a small surface." she was so real for that. breaking every bone in someones body? think back to that time u broke the tiniest bone in your wrist at age 11 and your entire arm went numb. putting needles in someones fingers? blood draws, or pricking yourself while sewing, but times ten or a hundred. and if you really cant relate it to yourself, read about it, read the symptoms, read the accunts of ppl who HAVE gone through it, try to really imagine it.

and dont forget about shock. shock is one of the best parts of gore to me. because you will probably go into shock when you see your severed arm (shout out to the medical instructor who taught us first aid on my drivers course).

idk. gore is something so precious and important to me. it just sucks me in, it feels like writing a long unhinged love letter as an obsessive lover. every time.

and that doesnt mean i condone gore or think its morally awesome to dismember someone. but you can write it that way from a whumper's perspective. but you can also write whumpers who dont really like it but have to do it for whatever reason. whumper pov is good if you dont want to try and explain how itd feel. some things i like to consider: is this the first time whumper does this? does it make them giddy with excitement? or is this the thousandth time and its just work to them? do they like what theyre doing? is it a means to an end or is it for fun? do they have any medical knowledge?

then of course you can write it from whumpee's perspective, which might be good for not going into anatomical detail. whumpee doesn't really see whats going on, most likely. and there's so much blood! it's their blood! theyre not thinking about anatomy, theyre thinking pain pain pain pain PAIN PAIN PAIN. some things i like to consider: has whumpee ever gone through something like this? is this the first time they're seriously hurt? is it the thousandth? and if it is the thousandth, how does it compare to the previous times? how is whumpee's pain tolerance? are they afraid of dying? do they have any medical knowledge, can they kinda gauge how bad the damage will be?

you can bring in a third observer, write it from their pov. itll be vastly different every time based on that character's own feelings towards gore, towards the two or more people involved, etc. there are so many ways to depict and explain what gore looks and feels like.

when i write gorey stuff, i like to just get it all out in a first draft, then go back and do some "realism checks" (this might not be smth you want at all and thats okay :) ). not medical accuracy or anything, but i like to go back and think okay, this character is getting their eyes plucked out, would they really be snarky during the process? maybe not! lets take that out. gore is smth that is usually rly far removed from your life/experiences, so it takes effort to write it in a way that feels authentic.

in any case, just have fun and remember fantasy gore hurts no one :)

[saintlaurentproblems]

I lowkey think Niall wanted to bang Olivia Rodrigo during 2021. I know you can say he was a fan and such but idc. He gave off im down if ur down vibes lol. And Miley Cyrus deffo wanted to fuvk Harry in 2013, she said he was her vibe. They really make sense cause they are two rock stars.

Olivia gives me mean girl vibes. Her friend Cameron and her dad were shading Sabrina during 2021. https://www.youtube.com/shorts/AEXIn1zeYGk

Her fans were dragging Sabrina for making Skin and calling Sabrina the mean girl for standing up against her fans AND Olivia. I do believe the energy you put out there is the energy you receive and it shows now with Sabrinas success. Olivia was being envious of Sabrinas beauty and personalty. People calling Sabrina a flop and now 2024 is her year. Sabrina did not bitch and moan about Olivia, she fr locked in during her big L (and I do believe it shook her-this younger girl swooped in and took a bunch of a Grammys home on her first album...like I know that hurt lmao).

Justin Bieber is an asshole to fans. I dont know why he still has fans and I thought we all agreed to leave him in 2015. Justin acts like we put a gun to his head and forced him to be famous. Just cause you hate your life doesnt mean the fans have to. Giving people the stink eye when they ask for photos. Just ignore them but he spends more energy to be mean. Even last year he was acting weird to fans, https://www.tiktok.com/@noahglenncarter/video/7238756012759452971?lang=en Bro thinks hes the main character 24/7. Relax bro this isnt about you. People are recording cause this a public celeb event. Just stay your ass home. He is stuck in time and thinks we are in 2016 wtf. Another example: https://www.theglobeandmail.com/life/the-hot-button/did-justin-bieber-really-call-a-fan-a-beached-whale-in-australia/article15855402/

Harry Styles gotta be the smartest male singer in terms of image. Besides the whole zionism claims (which we know he supports). There is no slip up..ever. Its so impressive like you will never catch him lacking. Being quiet really takes you so many places.

Selena Gomez is only fucking Benny Blanco cause her looks fell off...and he is associated with JB. You really think 2015 Selena would date Benny? She wouldn't even date Charlie Puth and he is easy on the eyes. People calling her looks nowadays plastic surgery is so sad. Her face was perfect before lupus and its the moon face from her steroid medications that fucked her looks up. People who went though the same: https://www.reddit.com/r/kidneydisease/comments/14x28ix/before_and_after_prednisone/ This why her body is shaped like an apple now: https://www.quora.com/What-are-the-side-effects-of-prednisone https://prednisonepharmacist.com/prednisone-parables/prednisone-parables/ Thats why sometimes her face looks lopsided or looks like she got fillers in her cheeks.

Okay this was A LOT to read.

1. I don’t think Niall wanted to necessarily fuck Olivia but I think he wanted some of her hype and appeal to her demo. Niall had a smart team.

2. I don’t really agree.

3. Hmmm I think the Olivia and Sabrina beef is complicated. And it was smart to lean into it for press and clicks. Imagine if Joshua didn’t lean into the Jesus brand and playing to the next pop boy. We could actually have some interesting content now. I do hope we get an Olivia and Sabrina collab.

4. Yes I’ve heard Justin is so rude to fans. Especially during his peak douchebag years 2015ish. He apparently kicked a girl out of his Uber in the middle of a highway. I think he has mellowed out now. I just don’t think he is good at handle stress. I have way more compassion for him now tho.

5. Harry’s team is so polished. And he is smart to actually listen to him. Idk who ever gave him advice during 1D deserves an award or something. He gives me a pretentious vibe tho. Almost like he has to put on this image to be taken seriously as an artist. He seems inauthentic most of the time.

6. Selena has dated hot and successful men who have treated her like shit. So if dating Bennie is what makes her happy then good for her! And yes she has a round face so when she puts on weight or swells from her meds it really shows in her face. She’s still stunning.

[glowxie]

does yalls therapist give u advice that would NOT fucking fly on here too or is mine just in her 50s

[rant below]

like ok. since the truth abt wilbur dropped it has been a steady topic in therapy (sidenote- i literally do not know why but this is a common thing for me. i often get obsessed w media, run w that for maybe a year, fall out of the fandom but still latch onto a couple characters/creators/whathaveyou. for dsmp it was the sorry boys with HEAVY emphasis on ran and wil)

i also have ocd and have a really hard time with "morality" as i call it. genuinely dont know what else to call it. anyway that translates a lot into completely dropping people/musicians/creators etc when i find out theyve actively hurt people.

it's also me doing genuine hours of research into new people and never being able to just casually like something. if a song plays and ive heard more than 2 songs by the artist and i like both i WILL end up doing a deep dive on the artist to see what they have or havent done.

ive been working on that slowly but surely. but anyway. lovejoy. shit got me through when my mom almost died and it felt like a whole new type of grief than what i was already feeling because i KNEW my ocd wouldnt let me listen to them anymore. it was a very back and forth process that i still struggle a lot with.

in therapy it usually goes like

me: like logically i know solely streaming the music on spotify will not bring them very much revenue spotify hates paying their artists and ive never bought merch ive never promoted them ive never made fanart of wil- but my brain thinks immediately if i listen to one song im a horrible person supporting a man that committed domestive violence and is denying it. he has so much support and die hard fans that are going after the victims. i feel like by listening to lovejoy im as bad as them, both him and the fans

her: so. it sounds like youre punishing yourself over something completely out of your control. you did everything you could, went above and beyond to make sure he was a person worthy of your support, yet even his friends didnt know about the abuse at the time. youre keeping yourself from something that you enjoy, something that brought you comfort. you did not know, they didnt know, it wasnt your fault he committed this crime. why should you be punished?

and like. i get it. i really do. i guess part of it is im afraid of what people will think. i do not support wilbur. i fucking hate him for what hes done and i hope he rots in hell. but some of his music brought me comfort in extremely distressing times. listening to music doesnt make me a bad person. knowing does. knowing everything thats happened and continuing to contribute to his fame- thats what kills me about it.

i also know that ran would be so disappointed in me for continuing to listen. so i havent been.

i dont really know what the point of this post is. i guess ive just not seen a perspective like this other than mine. i guess i just hope if other people are afraid like i am (and this is my ocd medicated btw. i have extreme ocd) they can read this and see that if nothing else they arent alone in feeling this way.

[baconcolacan]

@letmeaskdanielaquestion I hope you dont mind but I’m posting this because its impossible for me to answer fully in the replies. And I count this as another ask so just in case someone else has something similar to ask they can look to this one :] Also thank you again for the previous kind words!

And, hrm…about writing, yes I did write a lot before regimen, but its far FAR from being any good. Thankfully most of my early works have never seen the light of day (because they’re in a now dead and deleted fb group) and the ones that did never got off the ground and is lost in ff.net. I was a horrible, horrible, little goblin of a writer and a total weeb. If you cant imagine in, just know that I used stuff like “Kya~!” in the writing……..yeah, I’m choking from embarrassment how did you know?

I also understand the perfectionism bit btw. I’m diagnosed with OCD, and my brand of OCD makes me obsessed with perfection among other things, to the point where I risk bodily harm to achieve it. It took me years of therapy and medication to overcome it, so I understand giving up when you feel something isnt up to your standards. The best advice I can give is this:

When writing, your first draft is just that, your first draft, it doesnt matter if there are grammatical errors and wonky dialogue, its there for you to have fun with and go wild on, word vomiting whatever you feel is the best next sentence. Personally, it feels cathartic to put down all my thoughts on the paper instead of letting them fester in my head, at least its out and not bugging me from within my own mind. I dont sweat the details of my first draft, I just need the words out of my head and physically there so it doesnt bother me as much. Trust me, ideas love to nip and yap at any creative’s heels until they make them real, only then will you have your peace and quiet.

And if you want more order? Before your first draft, make a skeleton of your story, put down the events that happen in each chapter in bullet points. I assume you’ve read chapter 1 of Regimen already so I’ll give my chapter skeleton as an example:

Regimen: Act 1 Outlines

Ch1 - Escape

* Pick up from Armistice. Tom is stumbling through the woods trying to get back to base

* Introduce some unit mates and their relationships with Tom

* Tom hides the fact that the General is dead + his encounter with Tord

* Peace treaty is aired. Things go horribly wrong (Tord is a bastard snake here, remember that Neil)

* Tom announces his intention to escape Norway. The others follow.

* Add context to the world and the state of Norway at the moment, have Tom reflect on his relationship with Tord compared to others. (Hes wrong btw, he ***I erased this next part because the note spoils something***)

* The escape ends in tragedy. Most of the unit is destroyed.

And for inspo? I always suggest different media: books, shows, movies etc etc. Analyze them, see how the plot flows, what works and what doesn’t, how does the story progress? Do they use flashbacks? How often? Exposition? How much? etc etc.

But ah, take my advice with a grain of salt. I’m a professional visual artist, I’m just a hobbyist when it comes to writing ^^;

[caffeiiine]

Soda hi! :D You've written fanfiction before (very cool person activities) and I really wanna give that a try since I have always loved writing in general. Do you have any advice to get started? Please bestow your knowledge on me O grand adviser 🙏 (I already have some fic ideas and a three pages long wip hehe, we'll see if I lose motivation or not)

in complete honesty i have no idea how i wrote any of my fanfics, i literally just 12am-4am some weekends and wrote until i nearly fell asleep (which is not a good thing to do help) so i dont have much advice which isnt indirectly destructive in nature; but among advice i do have which is actually helpful:

+ if you have a general idea for a plot but cant flesh it out enough, i sometimes use character.ai to help with pacing/characterization and stuff. though its not the best and it doesnt work with vague plots (like a ship fic with no active prompt) but its helpful enough to get you started!

+ i also like to find writing blogs on tumblr since i struggle a lot with dialogue in partiular (it always seems so stiff whenever i proofread sobs) and they usually have a lot of helpful stuff like plot prompts, dialogue prompts, tips on how to write things (such as illness, anxiety, panic attacks, wounds, etc)

+ also if youre working with angst, particularly the type where a character might be wounded, medical sites are really good! (i like mayo clinic a lot since tehir stuff is easy to understand for me and they have symptom lists which is insanely helpful)

+ also depending on how you want your writing to read out, synonyms and drawn out sentances are really helpful if you want detailed, imaginative, or flowery writing

+ also having the characters wiki pages up for reference information is really helpful!!

+ i also learnt a bit about writing styles from reading other peoples fanfics

+ also the pacing is really important, if youre trying to emphasize a scene make it long. draw out the sentances, etc. for action or quickly moving scenes, short and cut sentances without full paragraphs work best imo

i hope this was helpful!! im not that good of a writer, and theres plenty of blogs all over tumblr <3

[moodr1ng]

lengthy discussion of ed treatment/management under the cut but nothing triggering or specific

i think its funny that im like.. (i believe) very good at giving advice regarding eating disorders to other people.. like, i will often give detailed, multi-paragraph, nuanced advice and information on dealing with eds and give people lists of ways they can reach for help, advice on managing disordered eating behaviors as best as possible, reassurance that yes, what theyre describing is a real ed, yes they deserve help, no they dont need to get any sicker to get help, ill frequently ask people who are down on themselves or ashamed bc of eating disorders to let me have faith in them on their behalf/let them know that im proud of them even if they arent/reassure them that they are never alone with this even in the worst part of an ed when it feels like youre the only person this fucked up on the planet/celebrate their wins and improvements if they have no one to be proud of them/etc. and none of this im saying to congratulate myself like.. i am somewhat educated on this topic, i like being able to use that to help out people, im not doing anything extraordinary or praiseworthy, i just have a certain level of skill/knowledge in handling eds and so i feel its sort of a responsibility i want to take on to put that to use.

but the point is.. i can do all this for other people but when it comes to myself? i dont follow any of my advice. my relationship to food is terrible and so is that to my body. i know all this stuff, i have all these nice things to say to other people - and i can't apply any of it to myself.

and though i always encourage people to reach out to medical professionals, to nutritionists, to therapists specializing in ed, to hotlines, to ed clinics.. i have been let down by every single one of those. my nutritionist told me my eating problems are a psychiatric issue and therefore she simply couldnt help me in any way. my psychiatrist listened to me describe my ed and had no advice bc he doesnt specialize in this and cant help me. the ed clinic in my city wouldnt offer me treatment bc they only take extremely underweight patients. a nutrition/ed support clinic a friend recommended wont take me either bc im not overweight enough. i contacted an ed hotline, set up a phone appointment with the hotline worker, and got ghosted. every avenue of help i have found has said "i cant help you" or "i wont help you". and yet here i am, still telling people to seek professional support and hoping they have better luck than me..

idk. sometimes i just feel phony, yknow? like, here i am giving people all this reassuring, in-depth, affirming advice that sounds like.. wise or like i know my shit right, and then you go look at my post history on the same account and theres my post about my relapse and how profoundly i hate myself and am disgusted with myself. it makes me feel like.. me still being in the deep of the ed devalues my advice. you peek under the curtain, and the guy who talks like he has it all figured out and can help you is just as lost, scared, ashamed and miserable as you.

not sure what im trying to say. just. think about this regularly ig. i wonder how i wouldve fared in a world where i didnt get rejected from returning to the psychology course, in a world where i become someones therapist - would i have too felt like an absolute phony, a poser, if i had become a therapist while being this mentally unwell? idk. maybe. it doesnt matter now, anyway.

[toothlespoggers]

”Why are you sad” WHY ARE YOU HAPPY? HOW CAN YOU BE HAPPY WHEN THE ONLY WAY YOU CAN FEEL JOY IS BY HAVING ENOUGH MONEY TO GO DO STUFF THAT IS FUN IN THE MOMENT BUT ULTIMATELY STILL LEAVES YOU EMPTY INSIDE BECAUSE NO MATTER WHAT YOU DO THE WORLD IS BEING FUCKED OVER IN A MILLION DIFFERENT WAYS BY PEOPLE WHO DONT HAVE COMMON SENSE AND THERES NO HOPE IN TRYING TODO ANYTHING ABOUT IT BECAUSEIT JUST DOESNT WORK. HOW ARE YOU HAPPY WHEN ITS IMPOSSIBLE TO BE ON THE INTERNET WITHIUT SEEING EVERYTHING BAD IN THE WORLD. THE ONLY WAY TO BE “HAPPY” IS TO BE AWAY FROM LITERALLY EVERYTHING, HAVE EVERYTHING CONTROLLED AND PERFECT. AND HAVE ABSOLUTELY NO ISSUES. UNTIL YOU DIE. BECAUSE EVERYTHING ELSE, WALKING DOWN THE STREET, EATING, SLEEPING. EVERYTHING JUST REMINDS YOU THAT SOMEONE ELSE IS CONSTANTLY SUFFERING FOR NO FUCKING REASON AND THERES NOTHING YOU CAN DO ABOUT IT BECAUSE YOURE A CHILD. AND SOMEHOW ADULTS DONT CARE. THEY DONT CARE ABOUT THE DEATHS. THEY DONT SEE THE BLOODSTAINS ON EVERYTHING AROUND THEM. THEY SOMEHOW AVOID IT ALL.

WHY ARE YOU HAPPY? BECAUSE BEING SAD. BEING ANYTHING ELSE. IS TOO DIFFICULT. WHAT ARE WE JUST SUPPOSED TO ROLL OVER WHEN SOMEONE ASKS IF YOURE OK? NO. BECAUSE THIS IS HOW EVERYTHING WOULD GO

“hey man, you ight?”

“NO I AM NOT ALRIGHT, EVERYTHING IS AWFUL EVERYTHING IS BAD. THE “GOOD” IS MOSTLY JUST GASLIGHTING, A SUNNY LITTLE PICTURE OF FALSE HOPES AND PROMISES TO CALM YOU DOWN AND KEEP SOCIETY FUNCTIONING BECAUSE IN REALITY EVERYTHING IS BAD, THE BAD COMES SO MUCH AND THE GOOD IS SO SPARSE YOU HAVE TO PHYSICALLY REMIND YOURSELF OF IT, AND IF EVERYTHINGS OK WOULDNT IT BE EASY TO FIND OUT GOOD NEWS INSTEAD OF DIGGING THROUGH THE INTERNET TO FIND ANYTHING? ISNT IT RIDICULOUS THAT WE ARE LABELLED AS “MENTALLY ILL” FOR HAVING FUCKING COMMON SENSE? WE ALL REALISED AS SOON AS WE GAINED SENTIENCE

“HEY WOW, ACTUALLY THE WORLD IS KINDA HORRIBLE!” AND INSTEAD OF FIXING IT EVERYONE ELSE WAS LIKE “YEAH BRO MAYBE YOU SHOULD TALK TO SOMEONE ABOUT THAT, YOURE CRAZY. THE WORLD ISNT AWFUL! LOOK AT OUR LITTLE RICH WHITE NEIGHBOURHOOD, EVERYTHING IS PERFECT AND NOTHING IS WRONG! YOU ARE STUPID FOR THINKING THIS.”

LIKE BRO. NO??? ITS NOT OK? I DONT “GET SAD” I AM SAD. THIS ANXIETY DEPRESSION, COCKTAIL NEVER SUBSIDES. IT IS JUST IGNORED. REPEATEDLY. BECAUSE YOU HAVE TO FORGOT TO SURVIVE.

YOU HAVE TO GRIT YOUR TEETH, WIPE YOUR EYES AND DISSOCIATE. BECAUSE YOU KNOW DEEP DOWN IN YOUR HEART THAT NOTHING WILL EVER CHANGE FOR THE BETTER. YOU HAVE TO HAVE THE MINDSET OF:

“Well Im alive now, I might as well enjoy it” BECAUSE THAT IS LITERALLY ALL YOU CAN DO.

I WANT. TO BELIEVE. IN THE POSITIVES.

WE ALL DO.

BUT LOOK AROUND.

IT WOULD LITERALLY TAKE A MIRACLE, NOT A SMALL ONE. A NATIONAL. WORLD WIDE. MASSIVE MASSIVE MASSIVE MIRACLE. TO FIX THINGS.

BUT THATS NOT GOING TO HAPPEN.

YOU CANT EVEN TAKE COMFORT IN RELIGION BECAUSE RELIGION IS LIKE “yeah no everythings gonna be like really bad and get worse and worse until everyone dies”

like. SERIOUSLY.

so NO. I am not “ok” and if you are. Congratulations. You’ve achieved a level of ignorance I TRULY wish I could obtain.

you wanna know why NO ONE TALKS LIKE THIS?

BECAUSE IF EVERYONE ON EARTH KNEW THIS. EVERYTHING WOULD COLLAPSE.

And I’m not saying you can’t be happy. YOU CAN! I am often happy! I have a lot of good moments. Life is worth living! Until a certain point you can always experience joy. There will always be SOMETHING. Good.

I’m sorry it sucks. I want it to change, I want to be happy. I want to go outside knowing that there’s a future, that there isn’t just misery ahead of me.

but I can’t do anything about it.

I can’t seek therapy. I can’t tell anyone.

because all they do is try and get me to be happy again, different strategies!! Different Methods! Different medication! So much medication :,D but I’m tired of people telling me not to be sad.

Stop trying to fix the individuals with drugs and cheesy advice.

FIX THE WORLD FOR US. THEN THE CHILDREN WONT NEED TO BE HIGH ON PAIN KILLERS TO BE HAPPY.

(I try to keep stuff like this to a minimum on my blog but at this point this is the only way I can safely put my opinion out into the world without being put into a mental hospital or yelled at.)