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bringbackwendellvaughn · 3 years ago

Text

I have had a fanon universe exist in my head ever since I stopped buying Marvel comics in 2012. I seldom post about it because the truth is I'm not much of a writer. I have ideas, I like writing character interactions and I love the hyper-connectivity of a super-expansive universe. There are at least 5 years of planning for an entire line of Marvel books in my head and I'm finally posting about one.

Marvel have announced this new Captain Marvel story called “The Last of the Marvels” and the likely misleading initial promotional stuff seems to suggest the return of the old Captain Marvels, or at least Genis-Vell. I'm sure the story will be exactly what you expect, Carol Danvers getting patted on the back by all past Captain Marvels and told she is better than they ever were. This post isn't about speculation or petty criticism but one of my first imagined crossovers features the same basic idea of bringing back the old Captain Marvels for a celebration of the Captain Marvel legacy.

“Negablast”[1] would be a 6-issue miniseries that debuts in Month 4 of the Anachroverse. It would be the first major crossover. Outside of the core miniseries, there would be tie-ins in the Cosmic books (Guardians of the Galaxy, New Champions[2], Infinity Watch, Nova and Silver Surfer) as well as a single issue tie-ins, more loose in nature, in books that have a very minor connection (Avengers, Agents of Atlas) and fleeting mentions in others (Thunderbolts, New Warriors).

The main series would star the trio of Ms. Marvel (Carol Danvers), Photon (Monica Rambeau) and Quasar (Wendell Vaughn). The plot is that the Kree Supreme Intelligence wishes to “evolve” and so it seeks to supplant Epoch and become “the new Eon”. There is a whole backstory and justification to the Supreme Intelligence coming to this conclusion[3]. Supreme Intelligence has a squad of servants[4], including but not limited to the Kree Starforce, which carry out his orders, fight the heroes and attempt to slay Epoch or any of his connections. Another integral character in the mix is Noh-Varr who initially is gaslit and follows the Supreme Intelligence's orders. Halfway into the story, he becomes enlightened to what is going on and switches sides which brings us to a “third party” to all this and that is the three dead Captain Marvels. Mar-Vell is, quite frankly, the main character in this despite really only showing his face nearer the end. Genis-Vell and Phyla-Vell are both brought back and more on that later when we get to more plot stuff.

I'm trying to pare this down and not bothering with all the individual parts (which in turn makes it sound like a mess tbh) but the core idea here is a celebration of Captain Marvel and his legacy. But before that, this is where the continuity and continuity clean-up starts overshadowing the story (as expected from me). First, we have Epoch shed the facade of Eon that he was seemingly worn since the end of Quasar's series[5]. We learn that Epoch is still a child and he will not truly become “Eon” for possibly centuries. He has been appearing that way to disguise his own vulnerability[6]. Secondly, we learn that when the Supreme Intelligence made Noh-Varr into The Protector in Bendis' Avengers, this was part of his whole “becoming the new Eon” thing[7]. We get some added context to Phyla and Gravity and their stints and/or holders of the title Protector of the Universe[8]. Remember when Mar-Vell returned in Chaos War and then gifted Deathcry with Cosmic Awareness?[9] All these little stray ideas I’ve taken and tried to make into a story to push Carol, Wendell and Monica into the spotlight as the “true” legacy of Captain Marvel.

So, our main similar plotbeat to Last of the Marvels is the return of Captain Marvels. For mine, we have Noh-Varr dispatched to slay the Priests of Pama who he is told are attempting to resurrect a great evil. When he gets there (and after a fight with the heroes), he learns he has been lied to and they have an Adam Warlock-style cocoon which actually holding Phyla-Vell's body[10]. Apparently, she can't enter this world because she is “incomplete”. I'm skipping all the continuity here but suffice to say there is some[11] for the end-point that is Phyla emerges but now shares her form and is bonded to Genis-Vell ala the way Rick was to Mar-Vell and Genis (they clang their nega-bands together and switch places)[12]. Speaking of Rick, he’s in the plot but a tertiary character.

Big finish is, and this is doing such a disservice to this story to be so quick with it, but we have big astral Cosmic entity Mar-Vell versus big astral Cosmic entity Supremor. Alongside Mar-Vell is basically all the Marvels – Captains, Boys, Girls – and it's just a big George Perez style mess of appearances[13]. Bad guy is beaten once and for all[14] and Mar-Vell can return to his peace, but before he does he gets to give heartfelt farewells to his legacy:

Carol Danvers – “You kept my legacy alive and are the best I could ever be”[15]

Monica Rambeau – “You honoured my memory the most faithfully of all; by simply being a hero”[16]

Wendell Vaughn – “I feel a great relief knowing that the Universe is being protected in my stead by one such as you”

Genis/Phyla – “My children... I'm so very proud of you both and my biggest regret is not being there to make it all easier for you.”[17]

Khn'nr – “There's no greater sense of my legacy as a hero than knowing that I inspired and live on through another, of a race bred to despise me”[18]

Noh-Varr – “Of all, you are perhaps the one I see myself in the most. An outsider on Earth, used manipulated by greater powers... but above all else, knowing what is right and what is wrong and when to act on it.”

Hulkling – “I know you are plagued with doubt as to your true parentage but I would be more than happy to call you son.”[19]

Rick Jones - “Rick... you were... you are... my best friend. Thank you for everything.”

Genis/Phyla are left alive but adopt a new name (Sentry[20]), Khn'nr too maybe but who knows if he ever does anything else. The ending would be Mar-Vell departing and leaving the name of Captain Marvel as free “for someone else out there”. Just then a lightning bolt cracks and the comic ends.[21]

[1] A portmanteau of Captain Marvel's nega-bands and the Quasar crossover Starblast. [2] New Champions is basically the Annihilators-esque team led by Nova. They're named after Nova's old squad the Champions of Xandar. It took me 7 years to finally settle on a name for them because I disliked Annihilators as a name so much. [3] Riiiiiight, here we go. Supreme Intelligence has seen the Kree race itself evolve – in fact he forced that to happen. However, Supreme Intelligence has never truly evolved itself since it was introduced. It's gotten bigger, it's gotten smarter, it's gotten more evil. But it's still just a big head in a jar basically. It knows it needs to adapt and become something more which leads us back to Secret Wars II of all places. Supreme Intelligence was among the entities called into service to confront the Beyonder. This was the only time the Supreme Intelligence was considered among the Universe's powerful Cosmic beings, it gave it a taste of what it could be and what it should be. It believes it should be ranked among the Universe's great forces, it is the gestalt of an entire race, but that is not enough it seems. Eon became the entity that got locked into the Intelligence's crosshairs down to it's “usurping” of Mar-Vell as an agent. Learning of Eon's passing and replacement with Epoch (inadvertently from Genis-Vell), Supreme Intelligence has recognised that the station of Eon is at it's weakest and it's the easiest time to destroy Epoch and inherit that role itself. [4] We have the Kree/Starforce (Doctor Minerva, Captain Atlas, Ultimus, Shatterax and new additions Arides and Wraith) and we initially have Noh-Varr. We also have a very robust cast of ones that are serving greater interests or ulterior motives: Maelstrom, Ereshkigal, Mangog and very very briefly Thanos (can't have a Captain Marvel story without him). As Maelstrom is there, we also have Maelstrom's minions including Gronk, Helio, Phobis, Deathurge and the Weird Sisters. And the evil Marvel Boy from Quasar's series. They are largely confined to tie-ins. In fact, even Mangog is mostly a side-story – Supreme Intelligence dispatches him to ravage the Shi'ar empire, a petty move in retaliation for the Shi'ar's victories against the Kree. [5] After Starmasters #1, Eon's spawn Epoch only made further appearances as the classic Eon and at times was even just called Eon. [6] Including (but not limited to) Infinity Gauntlet, Marvel Universe: The End and that Fantastic Four story with Gravity. [7] A lot of my early fanon stuff is trying to make sense of Bendis stories within the context of the larger functional Marvel Universe. The truth is, I believe, Bendis simply didn't know that it was Eon not the Supreme Intelligence, who bestowed Mar-Vell with the Protector of the Universe stuff. [8] Phyla-Vell was not Protector of the Universe but Epoch allowed her to hold onto the Quantum Bands until the return of Quasar. When the need arose, Epoch turned to Gravity rather than Phyla-Vell to act as his champion. Still expecting the resurrection of Quasar, Epoch did not seek to make or force Gravity into continuing as Protector. [9] Mar-Vell became aware of Supreme Intelligence's plans upon his brief resurrection in Chaos War: Dead Avengers #1-3 and so in that short-time tried to shift some things around to ultimately aid the heroes when the time came to oppose Supreme Intelligence. This meant bestowing Deathcry with his power so that it didn't perish with him. [10] Since her death at the beginning of Thanos Imperative. [11] Genis accidentally created Phyla, don't forget. [12] I think this is a unique enough set-up to allow both of them to exist without it being the case that I'm just bringing them back for the sake of it [13] Let's see... all 6 of the Marvel Captain Marvels – Mar-Vell, Monica, Genis, Phyla, Khn'nr, Noh-Varr. All the Ms. Marvels – Carol, Sharon Ventura, Karla Sofen. Plus the Marvel Boys – Robert Grayson, Wendell Vaughn, Vance Astrovik, that kid Vance gave the costume/name to who never appeared again. Marvel Girls – Rachel Summers. We'd have Major Victory, Gravity and the kid from Marville. Definitely forgetting some here. I had a huge big list. [14] Supreme Intelligence would be taken off the cards forever. His gambit fails but maybe one day, the Kree could create a new one... [15] Some light pay-off for her “best of the best” stuff. [16] Monica presents a problem in that she has no real connection to Captain Marvel besides the name. But then ironically, she has been the best hero of the bunch. [17] I went through so many different iterations of this over the years, and so many back-handed compliments like “Well, you tried!”. [18] Oh, yeah, him. I think this was a character that I needed in this story because so many people would overlook him – and I really do believe that there was something worthwhile in the character originally – but I don't see resurrecting him as a particularly good decision. It would seem cold to have him return to being dead while Genis and Phyla get to live but I have thought about him staying alive (he'd adopt the name Crusader, after that other Skrull guy who died fighting for Earth in Secret Invasion) but I think he should just be allowed to maintain his warrior's death or whatever. [19] Okay, yeah, Hulkling's parentage would be in doubt. I’m surprised it took this long to get to something where I have to explain another story in this fanon universe. This is mainly because I don't like the retcon – it really takes me out of that story to think that amidst the Kree/Skrull War, Mar-Vell found time to have sex with a woman he just met and has no chemistry with - but I don't think I'd ever say he couldn't be Mar-Vell's son. Just that it's a possibility he's not. [20] Sentry. Named after the Kree Sentry. Genis proposes the name and in classic Genis-style it's already a name that was used prominently by someone else and again someone he even met. [21] Yep, all to the purpose of getting rid of the Captain Marvel name for a fanon DC Universe that doesn't even exist in my head.

#Anachroverse #Negablast

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wayhavenguide · 5 years ago

Text

Book One, Chapter 9

Choice 1

I’d introduced myself with enthusiasm, and the two of us hit it off straight away.

People +12%

Optimist +6%

Teamplayer +12%

Verda Relationship +3

His obvious intelligence was… imposing, at first, but I eventually realised he’s a really laid-back guy.

Deduction +8%

Optimist -6%

Teamplayer +8%

Verda Relationship +2

We were both focused on work, but got to know each other in time.

Deduction +12%

Optimist -8%

Teamplayer -12%

Verda Relationship +1

Another science-minded colleague was just what I’d needed; we bonded over our shared interest.

Science +12%

Optimist +12%

Teamplayer +8%

Verda Relationship +3

We’re on good terms, though our relationship has always been more good colleagues than friends.

Optimist -12%

Teamplayer -12%

Choice 2

(ALL DIALOGUE OPTIONS HAVE NO EFFECT)

Choice 3

(ALL DIALOGUE OPTIONS HAVE NO EFFECT)

If the Detective chose tea or coffee at the cafe, they will go to take a drink from their cup only to realize the dregs have gone stale.

If the Detective chose water at the cafe, they will go to take a drink from their cup only to realize their glass is empty.

Choice 4

“If I’d realised the time, I wouldn’t have kept working.”

By the Book -10%

“My mind’s been so all over the place. I didn’t realise I was here so late.”

By the Book -10%

“That’s not exactly unusual for me.”

By the Book +10%

“A detective’s work is never done…”

By the Book +10%

“So are you.”

No effect

Choice 5*If the Detective found the dock worker’s anchor pin

“I was hoping it wouldn’t be someone local.

Sarcastic -8%

“Ah yes, he was always such a delightful piece of work…”

Sarcastic +8%

“We’ll have to bring him in.”

Impulsive +8%

“I knew the guy was a waste the first time we arrested him.

Charming -8%

“None of this makes him the actual murderer though.”

Impulsive -8%

“I’m sure I can get him to talk with my charming ways.”

Charming +8%

Choice 5*If the Detective found out about the chanting

“Great…”

Impulsive -8%

“I will keep them safe.”

Impulsive +8%

“Nothing like the entire town relying on me to help with my stress levels.”

Sarcastic +8%

“Maybe they should help themselves instead of just relying on me.”

Charming -8%

“They’d better be mentioning my charming smile too.”

Charming +8%

“I hope I can live up to their expectations…”

Sarcastic -8%

Give a shrug. “Doesn’t bother me much what they think.”

Friendly -8%

Choice 5*If the Detective learned about the blood transfusions

“Every time we get a step forward on this case, another thing stops us.”

Sarcastic -8%

“Okay, yeah, this really did just get weirder.”

Impulsive +8%

“We better keep this quiet. A normal murder’s bad enough—but this could cause another panic.”

Impulsive -8%

“On the bright side, maybe we’ve discovered a new species! Or at least its blood…”

Sarcastic +8%

“I wonder how I’ll charm the mayor, once he learns the case has stalled.”

Charming +8%

“When the hell is this case ever going to get moving?”

Charming -8%

Choice 6

“Okay, but just one drink!”

Heart +6%

Triggers the Douglas path

The Detective goes out for drinks

“Yeah, you’re right. I deserve a good time during all of this!”

Heart +12%

Triggers the Douglas path

The Detective goes out for drinks

“I suppose it would be good to get a sense of the mood of the people at the bar.”

Heart -8%

Triggers the Douglas path

The Detective goes out for drinks

“I better not. I can’t imagine the mayor being too happy if he hears I went out during all of this.”

Heart -12%

Triggers the Bobby path

The Detective stays at the office

“I would like to… but I can’t. I really need to finish these reports.”

Heart -10%

Triggers the Bobby path

The Detective stays at the office

“No thanks. I’m too tired. I’m just gonna finish up here and then head home.”

Heart +8%

Triggers the Bobby path

The Detective stays at the office

“I’m not really a ‘going out’ kind of [person], you know that.”

Heart -8%

Triggers the Bobby path

The Detective stays at the office

If the Douglas path is triggered, Douglas will be more integrated within the story, while Bobby’s role will be limited. If the Bobby path is triggered, Bobby will be more integrated within the story, and Douglas’s role will be limited.

THE DETECTIVE GOES OUT FOR DRINKS

Choice 7

...totally wasted. The drinks have been going down so easy!

Impulsive +16%

If the Detective said they were only going to have one drink, Tina will tease them. If the Detective said they deserved a good time, Tina will say they’ve definitely had one. If the Detective said they were going to get a sense of the people’s mood, Tina will ask if all the drinks have made them forget about work.

...completely sober. Drinking is not the best idea in case I need to be called in.

Impulsive -16%

If the Detective said they were only going to have one drink, Tina will remind them, pleading them to have at least one with her. If the Detective said they deserved a good time, Tina will say that they haven’t even touched any. If the Detective said they were going to get a sense of the people’s mood, Tina will say it’s a shame they haven’t had even one to forget about work a bit.

...completely sober. I don’t drink, or only very rarely.

If the Detective said they were only going to have one drink, Tina will remind them, pleading them to have at least one with her. If the Detective said they deserved a good time, TIna will say that they haven’t even touched any. If the Detective said they were going to get a sense of the people’s mood, Tina will say it’s a shame they haven’t had even one to forget about work a bit.

...a bit tipsy. I’ve tried to pace myself.

Impulsive +6%

If the Detective said they were only going to have one drink, Tina will tease them. If the Detective said they deserved a good time, TIna will say they’ve barely had enough to cover the outing. If the Detective said they were going to get a sense of the people’s mood, Tina will ask if all the drinks have made them forget about work.

Choice 8

Determines the Detective’s Hair Length (Permanent)

Choice 9

“You were the one who did all the blabbering!”

Friendly +8%

“Stop that talk. I’ll be tearing up in a minute.”

Sarcastic +8%

“Yeah, it’s not the same without having you around.”

Sarcastic -8%

“We still see each other all the time at the station.”

Easygoing -8%

“Oh, don’t go getting emotional on me!”

Charming +8%

“We’ll just have to hang out more often to make up for it.”

Easygoing +8%

Give a simple nod.

Friendly -8%

If the Detective had anything to drink, A will wrinkle their nose and say that they’re inebriated. If the Detective hasn’t been drinking, A will ask if they were planning to become as inebriated as Tina.

Choice 10

(ALL DIALOGUE OPTIONS HAVE NO EFFECT)

Choice 11

“I think [A]’s disapproving glare is chaperone enough!”

Team Unity +4%

F Friendship +1

“I don’t tend to get out much myself.”

No effect

“Might be nice to get to know you guys out of a professional atmosphere.”

Team Unity +4%

N Friendship +1

“Less of a chaperone, more of an enabler.” Wink back.

Team Unity +4%

F Friendship +1

“I’m not sure. I barely know you all.”

No effect

“I’m all for getting out of the office. In whatever capacity.”

Team Unity +4%

F Friendship +1

“Actually, I would mind.”

Team Unity -6%

Choice 12

Determines who you fetch drinks privately with

FETCH DRINKS WITH A

A Friendship +1

Choice 13

“That’s the point—to lose yourself for a few hours in the noise.”

Impulsive +6%

“I agree. But not everyone is like us, always thinking about work.”

Sarcastic -6%

“Life shouldn’t always be about work. You have to let loose sometimes.”

Easygoing +6%

“Wow...I bet you’re a real blast at parties.”

Sarcastic +6%

“Let them have a little fun. You might even enjoy it!”

Friendly +6%

“I suppose you’re right. People in our line of work have more responsibility than most.”

Impulsive -6%

“Work is important, but it doesn’t always need to happen in an office.”

Friendly +6%

Choice 14

“Sorry. You get that one, and I can manage the rest.”

A Friendship +1

Shiver at the sudden sparks which run over my skin at the touch. [RELATIONSHIP CHECK]

A Romance +1

If the extended N Romance scene was triggered while on patrol, or N Romance is 4 or more, they will catch N staring over at A and the Detective, frown, and then turn their focus to the ground.

Smile and move my fingers further over [theirs]. [RELATIONSHIP CHECK]

A Romance +1

If the extended N Romance scene was triggered while on patrol, or N Romance is 4 or more, they will catch N staring over at A and the Detective, frown, and then turn their focus to the ground.

Pull hand back and reach for the other glass instead.

FETCH DRINKS WITH N

N Friendship +1

Choice 13

“Glad I could help.”

Friendly +6%

“I think it’s going to take more than one night out to cure some of your team of their problems.”

Sarcastic +6%

“You all do seem rather...tense.”

Impulsive -6%

“It’s not a good idea to rely on others to help you relax.”

Easygoing -6%

“I think I needed some time off badly too.”

Sarcastic -6%

Simply nod.

Friendly -6%

Choice 14

...I say, “Thanks for helping me with the drinks.”

N Friendship +1

...I shuffle closer to [N], a smirk on my face.” [RELATIONSHIP CHECK]

N Romance +1

If the extended A Romance scene was triggered while on patrol, or A Romance is greater than 3, the Detective will catch A staring over at N and the Detective, their jaw set tightly, before glancing away quickly.

...I’ve leant closer to [N] than expected, a heat settling over me when I realise. [RELATIONSHIP CHECK]

N Romance +1

...I tap my foot impatiently, waiting for the drinks.

No effect.

FETCH DRINKS WITH M

M Friendship+1

If M Romance is above 3, or if the extended M Romance scene was triggered while on patrol, M will call the Detective a nickname. “Handsome” for male detectives, and “sweetheart” for female and non-binary detectives.

Choice 13

“How unexpectedly loyal of you.”

Impulsive +6%

“I’m sure they’re always so appreciative of your cheerful presence.”

Sarcastic +6%

“You should focus more on your own interests.”

Easygoing +6%

“Then why don’t you go back over there?”

Charming -16%

“You guys are obviously close.”

Sarcastic -6%

“That’s...not what I expected you to say.”

Impulsive -6%

Choice 14

“I was only trying to help, jeez.”

M Friendship +1

“Maybe you could show me what else you can do with it then.” Smirk.

M Romance +1

“Like you could do better.” Blush at the suggestion—the idea is more exciting than expected.”

M Romance +1

Sigh and give up on conversation.

No effect

FETCH DRINKS WITH F

F Friendship +1

Choice 13

“Work can enliven the spirit if it’s something you enjoy.”

Sarcastic -6%

“Yeah, I know what you mean. I like work, but there has to be a balance.”

Friendly +6%

“I don’t know. I’m happy spending most of my time at work.”

Easygoing +6%

“Most people have to work. No point in lamenting something you can’t change.”

Easygoing -6%

“If I had enough money, I would never work again...that would certainly enliven my spirit.”

Sarcastic +6%

“Work is work. It’s never going to be fun.”

Friendly -6%

Choice 14

“Nice try, but you’re going to have to look for distraction from someone else.” Chuckle. [RELATIONSHIP CHECK]

F Friendship +1

If F Friendship is above 2, they will throw their arm around the Detective’s shoulders.

“Maybe I shouldn’t stay if I’m such a distraction…” Smirk back. [RELATIONSHIP CHECK]

F Romance +1

If F Romance is above 2, they will throw their arm around the Detective’s shoulders.

I blush at the suggestive tone, though I can’t dampen the thrill it sends through me [RELATIONSHIP CHECK]

F Romance +1

If F Romance is above 2, this opens up additional dialogue options where the Detective can choose how they react to F offering their arm to escort them back to the table. None of these options have any effect.

“How? I’m your work colleague. Surely I would just remind you even more of work.” [RELATIONSHIP CHECK]

If F Friendship is above 2, they will throw their arm around the Detective’s shoulders.

“If you don’t move your gaze, you won’t be thinking of anything much longer.”

No effect

DRINKS PATHS MERGE HERE

Choice 15

“I can handle myself!”

No effect

“Maybe you should give me a little credit. I’m pretty capable, you know.”

No effect

“You’re an ass.”

No effect

“I wish you all had been there.”

Team Unity +4%

“You know, for a moment tonight, I thought you were actually a decent person…”

No effect

“Thanks for trusting me, [A].”

No effect

“Oh, well... thank you for looking out for me.”

Team Unity +4%

Don’t deign to reply.

No effect

Choice 16

(ALL DIALOGUE OPTIONS HAVE NO EFFECT)

Choice 17

(ALL DIALOGUE OPTIONS HAVE NO EFFECT)

Choice 18

(ALL DIALOGUE OPTIONS HAVE NO EFFECT)

If the Detective found out about the chanting, they will hear voices talking about finding them, not killing them, bringing them.

If the Detective found the anchor pin, they will see the suspect Tina discovered, not looking much like himself.

If the Detective found neither, they will run into a group of figures that block their path.

Choice 19

Try to grapple the attacker. [STAT CHECK]

If Combat is 25 or higher, their training will kick in and they will successfully charge the attacker.

If Deduction is 20 or higher, they will see a metal sign and successfully throw it at the attacker, knocking them down.

If the stat check fails, the Detective will try to knock him down, but the attacker doesn’t move. The Detective gets knocked down, hurt, and the attacker shifts their focus to them instead of Douglas.

Try to get his focus back on me. [STAT CHECK]

If People is 25 or higher, the Detective will start saying the chants and it will trigger the attacker to resume its mission and come closer, allowing Douglas to escape.

If Science is 25 or higher, the Detective will try to make a lot of noise and successfully draw the attacker’s attention.

If the stat check fails, the Detective won’t be able to think of anything that could draw the attacker’s attention, and just tells Douglas to run away.

Try to place myself in between Douglas and the attacker.

No effect

I don’t know what to do! What the hell is going on?

No effect

Choice 20

(ALL DIALOGUE OPTIONS HAVE NO EFFECT)

If the Detective had any drinks, they will have difficulty regaining their bearings during the fight.

Choice 21

Try to distract them. [STAT CHECK]

Team Unity +6%

If Science is 25 or above, or Deduction is 25 or above, the Detective will use their car horn to debilitate the attackers, and Unit Bravo will take them down.

If the stat check fails, the Detective won’t be able to think of anything to distract them with, and will get dazed. When they come around, Unit Bravo has taken care of the assailants.

Try to fight them. [STAT CHECK]

Team Unity +6%

If Combat is 25 or above, the Detective will work with F and they’ll successfully fight off the attackers.

If the stat check fails, the Detective’s attacks will fail and they’ll get dazed. When they come around, Unit Bravo has taken care of the assailants.

Try to talk them down. [STAT CHECK]

Team Unity +6%

If People is 25 or above, the Detective will try to talk to the attackers and it will seem as if they’re getting through to them. As they’re distracted, M will go around and knock all of them out.

If the stat check fails, the Detective will get dazed while trying to talk to the attackers. When they come around, Unit Bravo has taken care of the assailants.

Hide and wait until it’s over!

Team Unity -6%

Choice 22

“Someone better tell me what is going on. Right now!”

Heart +8%

“You realise none of what you just said makes any sense.”

Heart -8%

“I’m going to assume there is a lot more going on with this case.”

Heart -8%

“Oh, I really hope this is all a dream…”

Heart +8%

“What is going on? Who are they!”

Heart +8%

If A Romance is 4 or above, they will run to catch the Detective. If N Romance is 4 or above, they will run to catch the Detective. If M Romance is 4 or above, they will run to catch the Detective. If F Romance is 4 or above, they will run to catch the Detective.

If the Romance points are below 4 with all of the Love Interests, N will be the one to catch the Detective.

THE DETECTIVE STAYS AT THE OFFICE

If Bobby is the Detective’s ex, they will use their nickname for them. If Bobby is the Detective’s ex friend, they will use their first name. If Bobby is an acquaintance, they will use their title.

Choice 7 [RELATIONSHIP CHECK]

“How did you get past the front desk?”

Impulsive -6%

If Bobby Relationship is 0 or 1, the Detective will roll their eyes.

“Oh joy...it’s you.”

Sarcastic +6%

If Bobby Relationship is 0 or 1, the Detective will roll their eyes.

[If Bobby is the Detective’s ex] “Don’t call me that.”

Easygoing -6%

If Bobby Relationship is 0 or 1, the Detective will roll their eyes.

[If Bobby is the Detective’s ex-friend] “It’s Detective [Surname] to you.”

Easygoing -6%

If Bobby Relationship is 0 or 1, the Detective will roll their eyes.

[If Bobby is the Detective’s ex or ex-friend] “It’s a surprise to see you here.”

Easygoing +6%

If Bobby Relationship is 0 or 1, the Detective will roll their eyes.

[If Bobby is an acquaintance] “A surprise to see you here, [Ms./Mr.] Marks.”

Easygoing +6%

“Leave.”

Charming -6%

If Bobby Relationship is 0 or 1, the Detective will roll their eyes.

Sigh, but smile politely. “Do you need something?”

Charming +6%

If Bobby Relationship is 0 or 1, the Detective will roll their eyes.

Wait for [them] to continue.

Friendly -6%

If Bobby Relationship is 0 or 1, the Detective will roll their eyes.

Choice 8

I’m going to need a drink to get me through this conversation. Pour drinks.

No effect

Hell, why not?

No effect

I suppose it’s the polite thing to do.

Bobby New Relationship +1

“If you want one, you get it.” Don’t drink.

No effect

“You’re not going to be here long enough for a drink.” Don’t drink.

No effect

“Definitely not.” Don’t drink.

No effect

“That’s probably not a good idea. Sorry.” Don’t drink.

Bobby New Relationship +1

Choice 9

“You’re not reporting. You’re creating delusions to sell papers.”

No effect

“Actually, I don’t have an opinion on what you’re doing.”

No effect

“You’re making my job ten times harder.”

No effect

“Wow, something we actually agree on.”

No effect

“You have your job. I have mine.”

No effect

“You’re only reporting what’s going on. I suppose I can respect that.”

Bobby New Relationship +1

“I’d enjoy it if I wasn’t the one getting bad press from it.”

Bobby New Relationship +1

Wait for [them] to continue.

No effect

Choice 10

“It’s an act. [They’re] obviously trying to get me to spill something.”

Optimist -12%

[If Bobby is an ex or ex-friend] I think [they’re] genuine. I’ve never heard [them] speak like this before.

Optimist +18%

Bobby New Relationship +1

[If Bobby is an acquaintance] I don’t know [them] that well, but I still think [they’re] being genuine.

Optimist +12%

Bobby New Relationship +1

I’m not sure...better play it safe.

Optimist -10%

Choice 11

“Work is important, especially in what we do. We can’t just clock off.”

By the Book +6%

Heart -6%

A Friendship +1

“‘Fun’? I think I used to know what that meant…”

By the Book -6%

Heart +6%

“You all seem to have an important job. It makes sense why it would take up all of your time.”

By the Book +6%

Heart -6%

“I do wish sometimes I had chosen a career that let me have more free time.”

By the Book -6%

Heart +6%

“Maybe you should force them out to have fun—for their own good.”

By the Book -6%

Heart +6%

“I’m all up for us all going out some time. We should totally blow off steam.”

By the Book -6%

Heart +6%

F Friendship +1

“I’m sure we’ll get free time when this is over.”

By the Book +6%

Heart +6%

“Our work is necessary, but there has to be a balance or we’ll just burn out.”

By the Book +6%

Heart +6%

N Friendship +1

Choice 12

Determines the Detective’s Hair Length (Permanent)

If the extended A Romance scene was triggered while on patrol, or A Romance is 4 or above, the Detective will think they caught A watching them stretch. If the extended N Romance scene was triggered while on patrol, or N Romance is 4 or above, the Detective notices N’s gaze flicker to them while they’re stretching. If the extended F Romance scene was triggered while on patrol, or F Romance is 3 or above, the Detective will catch F’s gaze on them while they stretch and see them smirking. If the extended M Romance scene was triggered while on patrol, or M Romance is 3 or above, the Detective catches M watching their motions closely as they stretch.

Choice 13

“I can handle myself!”

No effect

“Maybe you should give me a little credit. I’m pretty capable, you know.”

No effect

“You’re an ass.”

No effect

“I wish you all had been there.”

Team Unity +4%

“Thanks for trusting me, [A].”

No effect

“Oh, well...thank you for looking out for me.”

Team Unity +4%

Don’t deign to reply.

No effect

Choice 14

(ALL DIALOGUE OPTIONS HAVE NO EFFECT)

Choice 15

(ALL DIALOGUE OPTIONS HAVE NO EFFECT)

Choice 16

(ALL DIALOGUE OPTIONS HAVE NO EFFECT)

If the Detective found out about the chanting, they will hear voices talking about finding them, not killing them, bringing them.

If the Detective found the anchor pin, they will see the suspect Tina discovered, not looking much like himself.

If the Detective found neither, they will see four unknown figures breaking through the windows of their office.

Choice 17

…[A]

A Friendship+1

The Detective will help A

…[N]

N Friendship+1

The Detective will help N

…[F]

F Friendship+1

The Detective will help F

…[M]

M Friendship+1

The Detective will help M

HELP A

If A Romance is 4 or higher, A will snap their lips shut to stop themself from saying something unexpected.

Choice 18

“Well, thanks for clarifying that!”

No effect

“I’m just your job?” I wish I wasn’t so attracted to [them]. [RELATIONSHIP CHECK]

A Romance +1

If the extended A Romance scene was triggered while on patrol, or A Romance is 4 or greater, A will try to clarify that that’s not what they meant.

Frown and glance away. Somehow, those words sting harder in my chest than expected. [RELATIONSHIP CHECK]

A Romance +1

If the extended A Romance scene was triggered while on patrol, or A Romance is 4 or greater, A will try to clarify that that’s not what they meant.

“My job is to protect others, too.”

A Friendship +1

Shake head and say nothing.

No effect

HELP N

Choice 18

“Oh crap! I’m so sorry!” Get up.

No effect

“Maybe we should just stay here a while longer…” Smirk.”

N Romance +1

Blush deeply and quickly clamber off. “Sorry…”

N Romance +1

“You’re lucky you have me around to save you.”

N Friendship +1

Get up.

No effect

HELP F

Choice 18

“I’m all good. Thanks.”

No effect

“You could always do a thorough check-over...to make sure I’m not injured.” Smirk

F Romance +1

“I’m all right, thanks.” I find myself unable to look away from [their] gaze.

F Romance +1

“Yeah, I find falling on my ass always helps me feel heroic.”

F Friendship +1

Just nod.

No effect

HELP M

Choice 18

“Well, uh, thanks…”

M Friendship +1

“You hoping for something more than a thank you?”

M Romance +1

Glace away as [their] gaze makes my breath speed up. “...Thanks.”

M Romance +1

“...I helped you first.”

No effect

Say nothing and look back to the fight.

If M Friendship is above 0, M Friendship -1

OFFICE PATHS MERGE HERE

Choice 19

Try to distract them. [STAT CHECK]

Team Unity +6%

If Science is 25 or above, or Deduction is 25 or above, the Detective will use the fire alarm to debilitate the attackers, and Unit Bravo will take them down.

If the stat check fails, the Detective won’t be able to think of anything to distract them with, and will get dazed. When they come around, Unit Bravo has taken care of the assailants.

Try to fight them. [STAT CHECK]

Team Unity +6%

If Combat is 25 or above, the Detective will work with F and they’ll successfully fight off the attackers.

If the stat check fails, the Detective’s attacks will fail and they’ll get dazed. When they come around, Unit Bravo has taken care of the assailants.

Try to talk them down. [STAT CHECK]

Team Unity +6%

If the stat check fails, the Detective will get dazed while trying to talk to the attackers. When they come around, Unit Bravo has taken care of the assailants.

Hide and wait until it’s over!

Team Unity -6%

Choice 20

“Someone better tell me what is going on. Right now!”

Heart +8%

“You realise none of what you just said makes any sense.”

Heart -8%

“I’m going to assume there is a lot more going on with this case.”

Heart -8%

“Oh, I really hope this is all a dream…”

Heart +8%

“What is going on? Who are they!”

Heart +8%

If the Romance points are below 4 with all of the Love Interests, N will be the one to catch the Detective.

#bookone #b1c9 #long post

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tigerkirby215 · 5 years ago

Text

5e Beowulf the King of the Ring build (Skullgirls)

(Artwork from the Skullgirls Wiki)

Finally, the tiger’s come back to Skullgirls!

Judging by the immense (and I mean intense, like a comedic amount) of likes on my Isaac build either there’s a really dedicated Skullgirls fanbase on Tumblr, a really dedicated group of people who wanted to see an Echo Knight build, or I just got insanely lucky. Regardless consider this a test of sorts, but that isn’t to say I don’t want to come back to Skullgirls!

Beowulf was always my favorite character in Skullgirls, having a very unique kit with a focus on brawler-esque grabs (I mained Bella before Beo was added so I’m all about that grapple trash) with the hype mechanic to boost them, and the chair throwing giving you different “stances” which was just fantastic. I’m still nowhere near good (especially since I haven’t practiced SG in ages) but the story as old as time of the hero slaying the great beast translates well into any form, including D&D!

GOALS

Chair we go! - Beowulf doesn’t fight fair; he fights to put on a show. Wrestling isn’t fake and we’ll have to use everything we have available to us, including our fists, the environment, and of course The Hurting!

Hypeman - We’ll need to get the crowd on our side to really get a fight going, even if that crowd just consists of our party.

Wulfamania runs wild! - Beowulf is a grappler above all else, and we’ll need to be able to grab our foes and slam them into the ground! Because grappling is historically very useful in 5e.

RACE

Beowulf’s the man that bested the beast and Variant Humans can best many a foe. You get +1 in two Ability Scores of your choice: choose Strength and Constitution to be the best in the ring. You also get a Skill of your choice and a Language of your choice. For your language go for Giant obviously since you were around for the Gigan wars, and for your skill of choice choose Persuasion to hype the crowd up!

Variant Humans also get a Feat and Tavern Brawler is perfect for a brawler who may or may not be in a tavern. You can increase your Strength or Constitution by 1 (I opted for Strength) and get proficiency with Improvised Weapons along with a d4 Unarmed Strike. But most importantly you can attempt to grapple an enemy with your Bonus Action after hitting them with an Unarmed Strike or Improvised Weapon. I think you have more than enough chair training to say that it isn’t an improvised weapon for you anymore but you can still grab something off the sidelines and smash it over your opponent’s head before grabbing them.

ABILITY SCORES

15; STRENGTH - Have you seen those biceps? Beowulf bested a Gigan, and he didn’t do it by sitting down for tea.

14; CHARISMA - You’re a warrior of the people, and the people love you.

13; CONSTITUTION - Taking hits to the face from a girl with a punching hat takes some durability.

12; DEXTERITY - Beowulf hops around the battlefield with... some grace.

10; WISDOM - While he’s known to keep a level head Beowulf is prone to angry outbursts.

8; INTELLIGENCE - Your job is to make chair puns, wolf puns, and hit people with a chair while howling like a wolf. Annie’s right about one thing: you’re no genius.

BACKGROUND

There’s no Wrestler background in 5e but Gladiator comes pretty close, and I’m starting to notice that I use the Gladiator background quite a lot. Regardless you get proficiency in Acrobatics and Performance to float like a bee and dance like a butterfly... wait did I get that wrong? You also get proficiency in a Disguise Kit for pallet swaps, and a musical instrument of your choice: “microphone” isn’t on the list for a mic drop, but your theme has a pretty pronounced electric guitar so a Lute is pretty close.

Your feature By Popular Demand proves that even old dogs can still do their tricks. By fighting in the ring for the people of New Meridian you can get a place to stay the night and some good food. What’s more is that after seeing you fight the people will remember why you were the hero they needed in a time of darkness, and treat you like a proper champ! Gotta love the people!

(Artwork by oh8 on DeviantArt)

THE BUILD

LEVEL 1 - BARBARIAN 1

Starting off as a Barbarian because no duh; you’re wearing ornamental furs and a sweater. That’s what Unarmored Defense equal to your DEX plus your CON is for!

You get proficiency in two skills of your choice: Athletics are an obvious must and while you don’t have dog personally Animal Handling will let you act like a dog? (But it’s mostly for other skills we’ll get later down the line.)

But of course the main feature of a Barbarian is their Rage, letting you get into the Wulf zone as a Bonus Action. You have advantage on Strength checks and saving throws, do increased melee damage, and have resistances to Slashing, Piercing, and Bludgeoning damage while raging. I’d just chock that up to good blocking and sick combos. Your rage lasts for 1 minute but you have to either hit or be hit every turn to keep it up, and you have a limited number of them per Long Rest.

Also in terms of weapons I’d say a folding chair could pull double duty as both a weapon and a shield. Hrunting was a sword but I’d flavor The Hurting as a Shield and Sledgehammer, or possibly a Maul if you’re more into big damage die.

LEVEL 2 - BARBARIAN 2

At level 2 Barbarians get Reckless Attack, allowing you to ditch the chair for a giant severed arm. (Note: you can’t use a giant severed arm as a weapon though I’d personally say that a Glaive or something similar would do the trick.) Fighting recklessly gives you advantage, but also gives enemies advantage to hit you.

You also get Danger Sense, giving you advantage on Dexterity checks against things you can see. Makes sense since you can block a barrage of gunfire with a folding chair.

LEVEL 3 - BARD 1

What? Did you really think we’d ignore the class of the people with the fighter of the people? I may be arrested for my many war crimes of not choosing Bard at level 1 and multiclassing into a spellcaster as Barbarian, but while you can’t cast spells while Raging you can end Rage with a Bonus Action to start casting again. But seeing as Bardic Inspiration isn’t a spell you can still use that while enraged to hype up the crowd while you’re in the fray! The crowd of course being your party, who you can give a d6 to add to an attack roll, ability check, or saving throw. Beowulf is a really good assist! You have a number of inspirations equal to your Charisma modifier which come back after a Long Rest.

Regardless you do still get Spellcasting as a Bard. You learn 2 cantrips of your choice: Dancing Lights will let you set up some arena lighting for your pitiful human eyes, and Vicious Mockery is a contractual obligation as a Bard. Hype up the crowd by making them turn heel on your opponent!

For your spells of choice Charm Person will let you use your heroic good looks to get someone on your side, and speaking of heroics Heroism will let you or a bud stand up to the Gigans. Disguise Self can be good for some pallet swaps if your Disguise Kit isn’t working, and Healing Word will let you further “hype” up the crowd.

You also get proficiency with one skill and one musical instrument of your choice. If you want to be the man you’ve gotta play with Big Band, so a Horn would be a good choice of instrument but truthfully it doesn’t matter. Likewise your skill proficiency really doesn’t matter so pick whatever the party needs. (I personally opted for Insight.)

LEVEL 4 - BARD 2

At level 2 Bards get Jack of All Trades, letting you compensate a bit for your sub-par mental skills with dumb luck, because the hero is always at least somewhat proficient. (Half proficient, to be exact!) Remember that Jack of All Trades also applies to Initiative checks, which is good because our Dexterity is rather sub-par at the moment.

You also learn another spell at this level and Longstrider will let you dash a little more to lay down The Hurting. You can also give your allies a d6 of health whenever they heal during a short rest with Song of Rest. This ability already scaled poorly and considering that this is a multiclass build it’s really not going to give you much. But it’s there!

LEVEL 5 - BARD 3

Third level Bards can choose their College and what better school for a hypeman than the College of Glamour? Glamour Bards can use their Bardic Inspiration on Mantle of Inspiration, giving a number of creatures equal to your Charisma modifier 5 temporary hitpoints and the ability to move up to their movement speed as a reaction. I’d chock it up to setting up your allies for a good assist.

In addition you get Enthralling Performance: if you perform for at least a minute you can attempt to charm a number of creatures equal to your Charisma modifier. If they fail a Wisdom save they’ll idolize you, and stop anyone from hindering you. They won’t go out of their way to fight for you but for the hour they’ll be completely infatuated with you, and if it fails they won’t know anything happened so you can try again after a Long Rest.

You also get Expertise in two skills (Athletics and Persuasion will keep you as the king of the ring) and another spell, but we’ll leave the spell choice for now.

LEVEL 6 - BARD 4

At 4th level you get an Ability Score Improvement, or rather a Feat! The Athlete feat will greatly increase your mobility in the ring and also increase your Strength by 1.

You can also learn another cantrip along with another spell (or two, since we skipped the spell last level.) For your cantrip take Prestidigitation for more real wrestling special effects, and we can now take second level Bard spells: Suggestion will let us further influence the crowd (or an enemy) with simple one word suggestions (duh), and for our other spell how about something fun? Gift of Gab from Acquisitions Incorporated will let you make sure you say nothing dumb on camera.

LEVEL 7 - BARD 5

5th level Bards get Font of Inspiration, allowing your Bardic Inspiration to come back on a Short Rest to keep the crowd hyped! And speaking of Bardic Inspiration your Inspiration die increases to a d8, and your Mantle of Inspiration now grants 8 temporary hitpoints instead of five.

You also get access to third level spells now and Catnap will guarantee a good night’s sleep, even during a Skullgirl attack. Or you could take an actually useful spell: I don’t own you.

(Artwork by El-Wolfgang on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 8 - BARBARIAN 3

It’s time to properly throw down now! Third level Barbarians can choose a Primal Path and Path of the Totem Warrior gives you all the excuses you need to dress up in a wolfish fursuit! To start off you can cast Beast Sense and Speak with Animals as rituals thanks to Spirit Seeker; not too in character but hey that’s why I told you to take Animal Handling proficiency.

But of course the point of Totem Warrior is your Totem Spirit: resist the urge to pick Bear for once and instead pick the totem of the Wolf of course! The Wolf totem makes it so that your allies have Advantage on any enemy within 5 feet of you while you’re raging: Beowulf is a great assist and this is extremely useful to keep the damage up, especially if you have a Rogue or Paladin in the party. And speaking of Rage you can now do so 3 times per long rest.

LEVEL 9 - BARBARIAN 4

4th level Barbarians get an Ability Score Improvement and it’s time, it’s time; it’s time to max out our Strength for the hardest hits with The Hurting, as well as your fists!

LEVEL 10 - BARBARIAN 5

5th level Barbarians finally get that Extra Attack I’ve been blowing off for awhile, along with Fast Movement, allowing you to hop around the battlefield with 10 feet of extra movement while not wearing Heavy Armor.

LEVEL 11 - BARD 6

Now that we can throw a punch on our own it’s time to keep the crowd on our side! Glamour Bards get Mantle of Majesty, letting them cast Command as a Bonus Action without spending a spell slot for a full minute. Remember that you can’t cast while Raging but you can only use this one per Long Rest anyways, so get the crowd hyped before getting into the thick of things!

Speaking of spells you know what hurts more than a chair being thrown at you? A flaming chair being throw at you! Heat Metal lets you heat up The Hurting (or something else that’s made of metal) to do 2d8 fire damage, and keep doing that damage on following turns as a Bonus Action. In addition the target has to succeed on a Constitution saving throw or drop whatever you heat up, but even if they succeed they’ll have disadvantage due to the heat! Remember that this spell has unlimited range so you’re more than welcome to sit in the back taunting your foes while they experience the proper Hurting.

Oh and you get Countercharm which is poo poo garbage. True champs don’t get Charmed or Frightened anyways, and they wouldn’t waste their time with a pep-talk when you can just tap out.

LEVEL 12 - BARBARIAN 6

6th level Totem Warriors get the Aspect of the Beast and I’m actually going to suggest picking Bear this time for better throws thanks to an increased carrying capacity and lifting capacity, and Advantage on heavy lifting and breaking. You lift Big Band up like he’s a small street performer. This works even when you’re not raging, but you can also Rage four times per Long Rest now.

(Artwork by StripedMidget on DeviantArt)

LEVEL 13 - BARBARIAN 7

7th level Barbarians get a Feral Instinct for Advantage on Initiative checks and the ability to Rage during a Surprise round. First hit advantage is important!

LEVEL 14 - BARBARIAN 8

8th level Barbarians get an Ability Score Improvement, or rather a Feat to keep our enemies down. The Grappler Feat gives you Advantage against any enemy you’re grappling and allows you to pin your opponents for your allies to hit ‘em while they’re down.

Is grappling largely a joke in 5e? Yes. Is level 14 way too late to get this Feat? Yes. Wouldn’t you just be better off with an ASI instead? Yes. Is this in-character? Yes. Are you allowed to take this feat earlier? Yes. Are you allowed to change the build? Yes.

LEVEL 15 - BARBARIAN 9

9th level Barbarians get Brutal Criticals, rolling one additional damage die when they get a crit. So if you’re using a Warhammer you’d roll the weapon’s damage die again, but for a Maul you’d only roll another d6. So now might be time to swap to a Warhammer or something similar. Regardless of your choice you’ll be doing a lot of damage, especially since your Rage damage increase is now a +3 on hit.

LEVEL 16 - BARBARIAN 10

10th level Totem Warriors can Commune with Nature as a ritual thanks to Spirit Walker. Again not really in-character but you can chat with the nun at the church for help with your giant now-sentient arm.

LEVEL 17 - BARBARIAN 11

11th level Barbarians can fight even if they’d normally be knocked out thanks to Relentless Rage. If you drop to 0 hitpoints while raging you can make a DC 10 Constitution save to stay at 1 hitpoint instead. Every time you do this the DC increases by 5 but it resets back to 10 at the end of a Short or Long rest. Remember to tap out if the heat gets too heavy so you can regenerate some red health in safety.

LEVEL 18 - BARBARIAN 12

12th level Barbarians get another Ability Score Improvement and you’ve got a few options: want better spells? Increase your Charisma. More health, armor, and saving throws? Constitution. I personally opted for CON but feel free to build however you please.

You can also now Rage 5 times per Long Rest.

LEVEL 19 - BARBARIAN 13

13th level Barbarians further improve their Brutal Criticals to roll two additional damage die, meaning that a crit will do 4 times the damage if you’re using a weapon that only rolls one damage die. Let Wulfamania run wild at your table when you hit that big crit!

LEVEL 20 - BARBARIAN 14

14th level Totem Warriors get their final boost thanks to Totemic Attunement and honestly any of the options work: Bear is good for survival, Elk will let you knock some foes down with a Gigan arm, Tiger will let you combo better, and Wolf will let you lay down the general smackdown. Wolf’s obviously the most in-flavor but build your own Beowulf; if there was a one-size-fits-all guide for fighting games we’d all be at EVO.

FINAL BUILD

PROS

Say your vitamins and eat your prayers - Hey guys: did you know that Barbarians are tanky? Despite your Constitution modifier not being overly impressive you have around 200 health to throw down with.

The Big Bad Wulf is your hookup - You’ve got a lot of combo starters for your teammates, even when you’re not ready for them. Being able to still be useful while unarmored and unarmed is great, and a lot of your class abilities will give openings for your allies to fight.

Everything I say is a catchphrase! - You’re even useful outside of combat with strong people skills and Jack of All Trades rounding out your weak points.

CONS

How many of you am I dealing with? - Multiclassing with such a MAD class like Barbarian is bound to run into some problems. Along with a heavy investment in Feats both your Constitution and your Charisma are subpar as a Barbarian / Bard. You can put on some Medium armor as a Barb to compensate for the low CON mod (with the small downside of not being too in-character) but you’re still going to be lacking, and might need some Magic Items to compensate.

Runnin' wild - Multiclassing a Barbarian and a spellcaster is a very, very odd choice. You can’t cast spells while Raging and while you can still use your Bardic Inspiration and Mantle of Inspiration they’re rather limited and there are likely better options.

I told ya it ain't real! Go home, kid - Every time I make a grapple build I have to say the same thing: grappling in 5th Edition is largely a joke and unless you have a DM who’s willing to increase the potency of grappling it might be better just to ditch the grabs for more raw damage.

But the hero of the Canopy Kingdom can do more than just throw people around. You’re 287 pounds of something and you’d better use that something to beat a whole family of Gigans. Throw down and get the crowd hyped, and never throw in the towel. Just make sure your manager is scheduling good fights for you: don’t want to do anything insane.

(Artwork by u/Kortland12 on Reddit)

#DnD 5e #dnd #dnd build #dnd bard #dnd barbarian #bardbarian #skullgirls #skullgirls beowulf #dnd multiclass

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renaer-is-allegedly-hot · 4 years ago

Text

session 13

wow i’m really out of it tonight lmao uh some highlights bc these r rlly atrocious:

adam shit himself and vomited over the dwarf in our basement

fought some ppl n killed; gotta hide six bodies

pregame !

Jacob n dom r talking abt other dnd campaigns

Jacob rigged explosives somewhere

They need souls to open coffins or smth

I REALIZED MY MIC IS MUTED SO THEY CAN’T HEAR ME SING THE GOLDEN GIRLS THEME SONG THE WAY MATTHEW GRAY GUBLER DOES HAHAHAHHAHA

Thank you for being a friend

Bum bum bum bum

Travel round the world and back again

If the truth be told you’re a friend and a confidant

Etc

Jacob explaining his eye scratch

I’m just sitting here singing the golden girls theme song

Tunnel vision in smash

I’m just renegading while they talk smash

Jacob wants to home alone our house the next night we have

Immovable rod is abt 3ft long

Last time on dnd asyna heard a window break

Roll initiative

Aerana and theo roll 22

Asyna rolls 21

Adam 13

Cel 6

Asyna was waking everyone up

Halfling size ballista ? In our turret ? Maybe

Ooh trebuchet is an interesting sans font

Aerana is going first

Double dash downstairs

You hear stuff on the first floor making noise; you and theo get to the second floor about to go downstairs

Theo in master bedroom double dashes towards where I am

Asyna

In watchtower, asyna's gonna try and do stuff from above ? Maybe .

Proposes turning into a hummingbird

Spike growth ? Grows spikes

Also creates rough terrain

In front of the door

Oop they're speaking goblin

Goblins

2d4 damage for each 5 ft they move

Some of them were able to get inside the house but still slowed down

Adam

Will cast cantrip

Thaumaturgy to boom voice 3x louder than normal "WHO DARES ENTER MY HOUSE PLEASE LEAVE WITHIN THE NEXT TEN SECONDS AND YOU WILL BE SPARED ,,, PLEASE"

Intimidation check

Lmao a 7

Entire house booms; everyone heard it but like effect?

Adam sleeps naked

Cel

Right in front of door to hall on second floor

Aerana

2 squares away from action at back of house

Theo

Also goes for pantry, same place generally as aerana

Asyna

Starts downstairs

Gonna turn into ape and try and make way down side of building as ape

Down p much by next turn

Goblins

Apparently being eaten up by spikes

Should I make a peanut butter and jelly sandwich I'm kinda craving

O shoot I gotta run soon for medicine

Adam

Dashing

This is just slow running in a dream

Cel

Base of stairs ?

Also heading towards pantry

Aerana

Bust in

Momentarily frozen

To the right next to basement hatch r two hulking figures covered in thick dark fur; kinda pointy ears, look kind of like goblins and v tall like easily 7ft

Big mauls

Bugbears

Can I fight?

23 to hit, 7 damage to closest one

The goblins trying to move the thing but not working well

Theo

I'M GONNA RUN TO GRAB MY MEDS

Slashes at the one aerana didn't hit lmao I rlly just did that I'm breathing

15 barely misses

Goblin blocks lillian's strike

Asyna

Srsly should I make a sandwich

On first floor outside

Bro my headache went to the other side of my head wtf

Gonna go through a window

Follows them in and attacks a bunch of them

Bro I kinda rlly want a sandwich

17 and 18 to hit, 6 and 4 damage ?? 10 damage ?? 10 damage for both ??

KILLS BOTH OF THEM N I C E

Bashes their heads together

I'm making a sandwich

"it's a very forceful kiss"

Third one readies self

Lashes out at asyna, misses

Goblins

R also gonna try and attack aerana and theo

12 damage to theo

I'm eating my sandwich

One of the middle ones is gonna go for asyna, hits, 5 damage

That was a good sandwich might get another one

Adam

Bro I kinda want another sandwich

Gets downstairs w max speed and peeks in, sees aerana and theo and two dead guys by window and two more living fighting an ape

Looks at theo

Bro again I kinda want another sandwich

Makes the one that hit theo make a wisdom saving throw

Did not make it, hideous laughter

Mans can't stop laughing, has to make wisdom saving throw each turn ig

Adam has to tell a joke

Comes down and looks at bugbear, locks eyes

Our party walks into a bar . But most of us walk under it

What

Is this a short joke ?

I don't get it yikes

Panicked dom laughing

Tells us to not hit the guy laughing; save him for last

Bonus action uses cutting words on the one aerana is fighting; "fuck you"

Cel

I still kinda want another sandwich

To clarify my sandwich was like half

I think yesterday or smth I like hit my foot lol and I did the thing where I compose myself rlly quickly to ignore the pain and up my pain tolerance and it left a mark but like it literally doesn't hurt so not saying I'm upping my pain tolerance but one day if I ever got like idk shot or smth I'm not gonna have a reaction

Cel hits the one that's doing better w a spell and then does shortbow 25 to hit, 12 damage

"how do you want to do this?"

Takes an arrow right through his brainstem and the arrowhead goes out his mouth

Aerana

Wasted insightful fighting, didn't hit

Scream of frustration that I missed

Theo

Takes bow and tries to hit, 13 misses

Asyna

Do I rlly still want another sandwich

Hits on one roll, 7 damage

Guy is barely alive

Goblins

One that tries to attack aerana misses, guy on ground is now up, guy attacking asyna hits, 11 damage

Adam

Cutting words on guy that just got up "oh you're finally awake"

"ever heard of the one where the guy got back up"

Goblin rolls nat20

Cel

22 to hit, 9 damage

Stabs him, hurts

Aerana

"next time remember it"

If an ally is within 5 ft of you you get sneak attack

If u have advantage

Don't need advantage if another enemy of the target is within 5 ft of it

Start over

When rogues have advantage, get to add sneak attack

Can add sneak attack when u don't have advantage if

One of allies is within 5 ft of you

And if u don't have disadvantage

Theo

Gonna try for the bow again

Going for the one asyna's fighting

8 damage

Guy is on last legs

Asyna

Kills

Fun fact apes have been known to rip off the faces of their enemies

Rips face off then gently puts him down

Still two goblins left

Goblins

Try and run

Attacks of opportunity from celandine, theo and aerana

Nat20 from cel

Theo and aerana miss

I've missed like every hit what is this

14 damage from cel

They're still able to get away

Asyna makes attack of opportunity

I still kinda want another saaaandwich

Neither hit

Adam

33 across board for both for sleep; both fall over and hit ground, asleep

Adam goes outside and looks if anyone is watching outside their window

Looks like one of our neighbors is at their window out of the apothecary

Uses infernal legacy to cast darkness, blocking their darkvision

Puts it between fallah's house and bodies

Then drag the bodies

Adam is kinda sweaty n exerted

Aerana is watching ot, asyna takes one body cel adam and theo take the other

Theo is rolling damage

Cel binds their feet first and adam prepares sleep

Theo rolls 13 damage and one dies, other 15 and also dies

Why is my eye glitching lmao

Maybe I still want a sandwich

What time do I need to be up tomorrow wait

Idk lmao

We've brought our bodies in, the night is ours

It's 10ish at night

Adam's gonna sleep in jeans

Adam was not naked in combat ?

Or maybe he was

Adam doesn't wear pajamas so he had pants

Sleeping downstairs shifts for the night

Adam takes first shift

Adam is sweating a lot, feeling a little odd; feels super weak and cold and feels a little sick like he might throw up

Constitution saving throw

"can I feel this coming and give myself bardic inspiration?"

"uh . Sure"

"hold it in hold it in hold it in"

Check to see if he can make it to the bathroom

"boi that's just nasty" adam wakes up someone ? Adam

Adam wakes theo up

"you must be real glad I'm wearing pants right now"

Rolls nat1

Adam vomits onto theo ? Vomits into theo's cloak

Adam becomes violently ill

The key eventually comes out the butt

A 4

Able to makes way down hatch towards bucket by ot

Vomits on ot

"ot is, like, weeping"

Adam is weakened

So adam shit and hurled

Adam stomps it down the drain ?

Next morning

Adam comes down with the key

Adam's exhaustion is cured after long rest

We're not talking to adam today

Adam sets key on table "did you wash that first" theo / adam slowly takes key back

Adam casts sleep on ot to kind of relieve him

Cel goes to jones, one of the goblins informs cel that jones is out ,,, just out

Cel can't find jones

Home alone-ing the house now ?

Aerana

House was in state of disrepair before

Spike spell tore up front of house, lots of windows knocked out from fireball explosion and were damaged during fight

Bad to a little bit worse

Theo 20 for investigation

Random ropes and bricks, nails, wooden planks

Intelligence check w advantage

19, sets up a few different traps; two swinging brick traps when a door is opened + simple nails stuck into plank so would hurt if someone stepped on it

Asyna 9 for investigation

Cel sees jones putting a bunch of keys into the lock

Jones can't find the key to open his door

Jones is maybe gonna get some stooges to remove the bodies

10 dragons

Henrietta is gonna dump em

Astigmatism lmao

Back at the manor

Adam is done cleaning

Ot asked if he could be set free, adam says "this is my fault, I got it buddy"

Adam is going to the apothecary down the street

Walks up to counter, fallah is there

"heyo what's poppin fallah"

Takes out potion of necrotic resistance

Adam says he bought it at sea ward, roll for deception; 12

Why am I sO LETHARGIC ALL THE TIME !!!

Offers adam 50 gold

Pushes for 60, 10 for persuasion check

Just takes it for 50

Fallah gives medicine, smells like oregano

Adam goes in for a hug, hesitates then retracts

Goes to bardic school to talk to master

Yava is there

12 insight check

Yava is usually v composed but today

Yava is an elf so is like bruh wdym u trust me after knowing me for like a month

Asks abt house security

Adam just straight up tells her he's in trouble w the xanathar guild and is asking for glyph of warning spells ?

Persuasion check, gives self bardic inspiration

11, yava agrees to help

She's willing to do it for free

Can cover 8 entrances to the house

"I'd b willing to do this but adam u must b more careful"

Adam tells her he's dealing w a large sum of money - half a million dragons

There was half a million dragons embezzled ?

Yava thought it was just a rumor

Adam is idiot

Adam asks yava if she wants in

Idiot

#i talk a lot about sandwiches in this one #sn #13

3 notes · View notes

rosepetals-flyingbirds · 5 years ago

Text

Tortured Souls. (6)

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader.

Summary: Y/N Stark is being chased and accused of a crime she didn’t commit, what happens when the person behind all of this possesses her very own face.

(Gifs go to their rightful owners.)

Warnings: None.

Word Count: 5,400

Compound.

Steve was in the main living room with Sam watching the game when it went to the commercial and a Break News red sign appeared.

The reporter started to talk about the game so Sam stood up and walked to the kitchen to grab more beer in the fridged. “The SHIELD building in Washington has been invaded a few days ago, our reporter Samantha is in the local and will tell us what happened.” Sam stopped his tracks and walked back to watch the television.

The reporter was in front of SHIELD's building in Washington D.C, the lady told about how a dozen workers died in an invasion that occurred in an attempt to free a prisoner.

A picture of Artem appeared on the screen. “The prisoner is called Artem Melnikov, he is a Ukrainian that the Avengers and Shield’s agents got in an old HYDRA’s base in the middle of Russia. As you may know, Hydra is a militaristic and science division of the Nazi and was created by the German Baron Wolfgang von Strucker. Strucker isn't alive anymore and SHIELD told the world that neither Hydra was, but the event in years prior showed how a few important people of SHIELD were related to HYDRA organization.

The last information the world received was of James Buchanan Barnes, the Winter Soldier.” Steve crossed his arms. “Barnes was accused to kill the king of Wakanda T'Chaka and a lot of other victims over the years. The man was the very own friend of Steve Rogers, Captain America himself. Our sources don’t know where Barnes is right now but the last time he was in the public eyes was in a court where the judge declared him innocent. Could it be possible to Barnes be behind all of this?” Sam shook his head, people didn’t know shit about Bucky and yet everyone loved to call him the bad guy.

“Our sources managed to grab a few footages of the night of invasion here on SHIELD, the young woman clearly is Y/N Stark, daughter of the billionaire Tony Stark also known as the Iron Man. Apparently it doesn’t matter how much money do you have, children will always try to take their parents' attention, right? Back to you Trevor.” She said and Steve wanted to punch the TV.

Sam put the TV in mute and scratched his scalp, “Godamn it, now her face is plastered around the country.”

Steve nodded and took a deep breath. “We knew it was going to happen, how Fury let that leak?” He asked pissed.

Sam shrugged and looked at the TV that showed the victim's pictures and their relatives crying at the funeral. “Maybe he didn’t, you know has other people inside there that are important, and I don’t know… Maybe it was one of the victims’ relatives that wanted revenge and then,” He pointed to the TV. “That happened. Do you know where Stark is?”

Clicking his fingernails against his knees Steve darted his eyes to Sam. “He said something as grabbing some evidence in Turkey, I don’t know what.” He looked at the television again and an old lady was crying and yelling asking for justice.

Sam felt bad about the scene and knew Steve was feeling the same. They were Avengers and their work was to bring justice and hope. “We better call him.”

The game got back but neither of them had the head to watch it. “He probably knows by now.”

Tony.

Tony was flying through Turkey and went to meet one man he had hired to find some old documents.

He met the man in a cafe, he was in a hurry so he spoke with the man and grabbed all the information when his phone vibrated.

It was your name and a set of small alive videos of random News Programs talking about you. He sucked his breath and cursed Fury for letting these pieces of information leak that way. Tony touched the device and told the men his job was done and the money was on his account.

He got back at the hotel he was staying and opened his suitcase at the floor stepping on it making the Iron Man armor mold perfectly on his body.

He flew through the windows heading back to the States specifically to Washington searching Fury. ‘Nick Fury is calling sir.’ FRIDAY announced.

Tony answered and before Fury could answer Tony was yelling at him.

“Calm down! I didn’t give them her information, neither Everett.”

“Well someone clearly did, so what you don’t know about your people whereabouts or sources?”

“I’m sorry but whose daughter is being hunted?” Tony rolled his eyes. “Where are you?”

“Flying to Washington, I need to talk with you personally.”

“I’m not there, are you on a jet or in your armor?”

“What difference that makes,” Tony asked annoyed.

“Can you stop playing and tell me, if you are in your armor come to Logan in Utah, surely your armor will find the coordinates, you can also track this call if it makes it any easier.”

Tony argued a bit more but ended agreeing to his request and flew through Logan-Utah, he saw Fury there and landed outside a cafe that seemed empty, Fury probably sent everyone away saying he would have some government confidential meeting.

Tony kept using the armor but without the face part. “This brings me memories.” Fury scoffed and entered the place, Tony following behind.

Fury sat in the secluded booth and Tony sat in front of him, it had pancakes and coffee above the table. “This is how I’ll die? You’ll poison me? Or is just some sort of truth elixir that will make me tell you my deepest and weirds secrets, do you want to know how was the night I lost my virginity? Urgh, it was gross, do you know that-” Fury’s face was serious and clearly annoyed by Tony’s words. “Maybe you don’t.”

Fury sweetened his coffee and started to drink and Tony did the same. “I called you to say that I wasn’t the person that leaked Y/N’s information. Not anyone I know either, I said she would be in home confinement and I wouldn’t sell private information to the media. You know I keep my promises!”

Tony drank his coffee and stared at Fury’s wondering.

“All of them?”

He sighed. “Tell me one goddamn time I had lied to you or broke a promise.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “Listen I’m trying to save Y/N okay? How come you can’t believe she is innocent on this?”

Fury rubbed his face. “Stark, you haven't been around in that world much okay?! The majority of your life you’d spent in parties and ignoring everything important surrounding you. And as you may remember we get betrayed in that world, a lot. I’m sorry she is your daughter. You know I consider her as a friend too.” He said.

“Let’s be honest, do you think she would do that with us? You know her since she was 13 years old for God’s sakes, actually was that sneak eye of yours that made her start in that crazy world, if you hadn’t praised her skills, and she stood at home or safe and sound avoiding this life she probably wouldn’t have to go all kamikaze in Russia.” He said clearly pissed you had chose that life.

Fury rubbed the brow as if to ward off a headache. “Oh come on, when I first saw her she was beating your ex-bodyguard ass in a boxing ring in the middle of the living room.” He pointed. “I wasn’t the one that inserted her into that life, we both recognize she would go after them with or without the knowledge I helped her build. She is a great agent, one of the best actually. But just because we all care about her it doesn’t mean that she feels the same.“

Tony ate a few bites of his pancakes and was tapping a foot under the table, very annoyed about the topic. “Then what? Are you saying she is guilty and is trying to screw our lives by selling Hydra our information?” His lower lip quivered. “Not my Y/N. I’m sorry you had a lot of disappointments in your life, I did too, but I’m sure she isn’t guilty. And you should too.” Fury nodded, he knew Tony would say it.

Fury took a sip of his coffee and shared a silence questioning his next words, he didn’t know if he should say it and help you even somehow indirectly. “I found something, on the footage on the night of the invasion in D.C I used a mixture of two programs and,” He grabbed a small blue device out of his big coat and opened the video, Tony scoffed and opened his mouth ready to say he had seen the videos hundreds of times but Fury cut his words. “Shut up and watch it,” He played the video and then Fury clicked in a few words on the side of the screen, then the video froze and when Fury zoomed it the left side of ‘your’ face was sort of blurry, it wasn’t the cameras since Shield use A1 technology, it was something out of it. “I analyzed other random people with the same illumination and hour on the cameras but none had that weird effect on their faces.”

Tony took a deep breath and smiled. “Great now you are on our side, took you long enough.” He let a relaxed puff of air and enjoyed his pancakes, it wasn’t easy to use the fork with the ‘iron hand’ so he took it off.

“I still don’t trust her.” Fury said.

Tony placed the fork on the plate and swallowed the bits that were in his mouth. “Really? You just said it wasn’t her, what other reasons do you want?”

“She is smart and makes the best tactics, she might have contracted someone just to put us exactly where we are.”

Tony rolled his eyes. “You know what, you think you are so intelligent and forward of everyone else's but you are just crazy. This isn’t a movie Fury, what can’t you just believe her?”

Pinching his nose Fury tried to find a good reason to make Tony open his eyes. “Because people aren’t victim’s Stark, people are psychotic and you know her parents had a record of drug use, maybe her mother had used and it had hit her brain inside the womb and with that transforms her in a sociopath or psychopath. You know this happens.” Tony's brow furrowed completely mad at his words.

Tony gnashed his teeth in the mention of something so insulting. “You are an idiot for saying those things, you like to believe you have control of everything while she is just a young girl being incriminated by something she did not commit!” Tony's voice was raising in each word. His hands trembling.

“You are right, I didn’t mean in that way.”

“Send me that version of the video, it will help me with the judge and with the whole court process.”

Nodding, but with a tightness to it, like he was holding back from saying something else. “Speaking about it she won’t be able to stay at home confinement much longer, I will go to the Compound later to talk with her.” Fury said and finished his coffee, Tony kept quiet eating his food which made Fury sense something was wrong. “She is there right?” He asked.

“Y/N? I don’t know we are not really intimate right now,” He answered quickly and chewed the last of the pancakes pushing the plate further in the table, Fury shook his head knowing Tony was hiding something. “What?” He tried to play coy.

“She isn’t." Fury shook his head. “I do all in my power to help you two and this is what I receive?” He spoke throwing his hands up.

Tilting his head to the ceiling and letting out a heavy sigh Tony stuttered before finding the right words. “I’m serious I don’t know if she is in the Compound, we fought because of her stupid decision and I’m not really staying at home or going in the Compound,” He moved his hands to his armor.

Fury studied his face. “You know I can read all your facial signs right? Where is she?”

Tony shook his head and looked at Fury’s ‘device’ above the table. “Isn’t you that have her anklet coordinates?”

Fury rolled his eyes. “Stark, Y/N is a criminal and I’m putting my head in the middle of the crossfire to help even though I don’t believe her innocence in all of this.”

Tony rolled his eyes and propped his left arm on the table propping his head on his hand.

Fury saw his annoyed face and felt angry about how Tony always get annoyed when he didn’t get what he wants like a spoiled infant.

“Contrary to your belief, you are not the center of my universe! So if you truly consider I’ll lose my job and my whole career to make you happy you’re really really wrong.”

“Fury, all I ask is for you to hear her out, okay, please! She is the girl that saved your ass in that mission you went with. She is the girl that helped Nat when she started having anxiety. She is the girl that spent six whole days in the hospital when Sam got into a coma. Do you think she will be the one that will sell information to HYDRA? And besides that, she really cares about Steve and… and the other guy, which both had suffered by HYDRA. Do you truly believe she is guilty? Search the truth in your heart.”

Fury squeezed his eyes. “‘The truth in your heart’? Why the hell you said that? Is a t-shirt or something?” Tony gave him the look of ‘come on’. “I want to believe in her, Tony. But what if she is guilty and in the end, she will go away with them and leave us behind? I can’t risk my career out of a friendship.”

“What is more important reputation and people who care about you?”

Fury scoffed. “Are you reading those help-books she bought for you?” Tony laughed, Fury did too. “I’ll talk with her, let’s see if she can convince me.”

Y/N.

You had set all your clothes and a few research items in the room, you looked around the place and did almost every possible thing.

It was dark outside and Bucky hasn't got back yet. You started to create scenarios in your head where he regrets the almost kiss and are running away scared that you’ll confront him about it.

Jordan was with Barsi and you had made sure that the place would be a safe place for animals, you surely could use some love now so you placed a pair of boots on your feet and walked out the place searching the separated spot where the dogs and other animals should be.

Five minutes more into the woods you found what you were looking for.

It has big shelters one for each type of animal, normally the cats found a way out and the sneaky creatures entered in the dog’s one but it was cool since they got well with each other.

The dogs were really calm, normally when someone got closer they would make a huge mash of sounds. You opened the outhouse and found what you weren’t looking for.

Bucky was sat on the floor with two dogs laid close to him with their heads in his lap, the others were quiet sleeping and looked really comfortable having him around.

One dog barked when saw you making all of the others too, Bucky got up in seconds like you were some sort of threat. The babies came running and you pet every one you could reach, Bucky placed his hands in the pockets of his pants and cleared his throat. “I fell asleep.”

“I noticed,” You laughed, “It’s late already, I wanted to see them again and since I found you, do you wanna eat something? I mean you had been out around... five hours, at least.”

“I lost count of time. It’s pretty awesome what you did here.” He referred to the animals.

You looked around seeing the big place had space for each one of them. “Yeah, I mean is sad the fact that I have to do so, but I adore seeing the pure joy on them.” He made a confused look. “I mean the fact that someone has to save them from bad people, stupid people who hate them.”

He nodded. “People are stupid.”

Jordan appeared in the outhouse holding a big dog food bag. “Oh hey.” He said, you thought you heard Bucky scoffing but it was probably something else. “Is time for their dinner.”

You looked at the big barrel where food has always been inside. “I thought their food stood here.”

“It does but I just got back from town with a few new bags, the old ones were almost empty.” He placed it in the floor and walked out of the place, he looked behind and saw you stopped there looking at the dogs that were more than happy to see Jordan. “Uau, I didn’t know the famous life made you lazy, help me get the rest princess.” Jordan joked and you rolled your eyes laughing.

You walked out and found the pickup truck. You got one bag and walked inside, Bucky got the food separating it in the plates helping in the process. “The cats have eaten already?”

Jordan separated the food with a perfect portion for each type of dog and nodded at Buck's work. “No, neither the horses. You can go there, but be careful with the yellow one, she just got back from surgery.” You nodded and walked out of the place, you shook your head to Bucky which he understood the meaning since he followed you.

You opened the place and saw the cats running around playing with their toys when you grabbed their food they started to meow all together making a huge mess. “Surgery?” Bucky asked trying to not trip on them.

“Maybe is castration, or something else…”

“Castration?”

“Yep, I make sure all of them get castrated. I hate the number of abandonment it has already so we don’t need to make it bigger. My point is if everyone castrated their cats and dogs, it wouldn’t have so many lost babies out there. I mean I know I help them here and in every state money can allow me, but it isn’t the same thing for them. They are supposed to be the 'man's best friend’ so having just one owner isn’t the same.” A one-legged kitty was amazed by Bucky’s pants.

He laughed and grabbed the poor things in his hand. “I agree.”

You scratched the kitty's chin and took her out of Bucky's chest placing the food pot in front of her face. “Good.”

Bucky was amazed at the animals there, he surely knew about the shelter you had in NYC. “How did you asked Tony to do those things? With the animals I mean.”

“Well, since being a Stark I’m what people can say 'filthy rich’ so rather than spending my money in plastic surgery or fancy clothes and a possible contract with famous people to get me 'Hollywood famous’ too,” You laughed at the ridiculously. “I rather spend with what truly matters. Animals, kids, countries where hunger and thirst is a strong characteristic… I just try to use the pros and power of money on things that truly matter.” Bucky swore his heart was beating even faster.

When all was done, you and Bucky got back to the dog's place.

The two of you helped with anything that Jordan needed an extra hand with.

And when it finished Bucky excused and got back to the house.

You kept brushing the horses with Jordan, who had a grin splattered on his face. “What?”

He shrugged “Nothing.” He replied with a smirk.

“Come on.” You tried.

He looked out the barn looking at the patch that leads to the house.

“He is jealous, of me and you.”

You shook your head and kept paying attention to your current task. “He is not.”

“Come on. He had been staring at me the whole time like I was about to pick a gun and shoot you two.”

You laughed and shrugged. “He is just being cautious… he, he is of the world that me and Tony live in.”

“He is the Winter Soldier. Of course, he is of that world of yours and Mr.Stark.” You widened your eyes, you didn’t suspect him to recognize Bucky. “Don’t worry, I know he was a victim of all the torture he had been through. And you know me, I won’t call the cops or anything.”

You calmed down. “I think it would be no use. He was declared innocent by the judge and he is a free man.” You finished brushing the third horse and changed their water.

Jordan finished grooming the last horse and walked away to wash the brush and his hands. “So nothing to worry about then.” You caressed the horse for the last time and walked to wash your hands too. “But I’m serious the way he looks at you and the threatening way he looks at me says something. What? You two had dated and it didn’t work?”

“Not quite. We are good friends and… and I don’t know I got injured on a mission and he sort of blocked me out of his life.”

“Hmmm, I assume the injury it was bad.”

“Someone shot me.” He widened his eyes, he knew how to use a gun but yet it was sort of unknown to him. “But I’m here aren’t I?”

“So what, you two will keep liking each other and will be silent about it.”

“What? Wait what do you think I like him?” You played innocent.

“Well, first of all, I don’t believe my friend would ever come back here with some guy that seems really nice and just be friend with him, and also the fact that you are talking about him with that sparkle in your eyes.” He pointed at you.

“Jordan we are in the middle of the night in a barn, the “sparkle” can be the lamp above our heads.” You pointed your fingers at the five bigs lamps it has there.

“Nah, I know that spark. It just appears when you truly care about someone.”

“What are you? A novel writer?” He laughed.

“All I’m saying is that even spending years away from me I know you too damn well to be able to recognize when you’re liking or loving someone.”

“Okay love is really a strong word.” You put emphasis on the really part.

“You don’t love him?” He asked teasingly.

“Of course, he is my friend.” He gave you the look. “Come on I have a lot of guy friends. Actually, the majority of them are men.”

Jordan walked closer to your reach and dried his hands on a cloth and handed it to you. “Okay, so you look at all of the majority of friends the way you look at him?”

You let a sigh, he wouldn’t let the subject go away. “Not all of them.”

He nodded. “And that is why you’re blushing and avoiding to go back there?”

He was right, yet the last time you had seen him was years ago. “Excuse me, I spent five years away from your life. Is that inconvenient for me wanting to know more about you?”

He laughed. “Either way the way he looks at you it definitely says something,” You two walked out of the place and closed the door. Your emotions were screaming. “How do you know that?”

He looked at you and spent a few seconds trying to find the best words. “Because he looks at the same way I used to.”

You blushed, you had felt a small crush on him, but it was when you were just a mere kid and the idea alone of being close someone emotionally gave you bad memories about Raza. “Oh come on,” You bumped his shoulder with yours.

He laughed and nodded but spent some seconds looking at you, like he was reading every trace in your face. “Whatever you say but the way he looks at you it clearly states something. And I don’t have any idea what happens in that SuperHero universe you live in, but he would be good to you. I mean he is here right? And the way he looked at me when I entered the house it gave me chills. The guy had literally a gun aimed at me.”

“You were with a shotgun yourself. And besides nothing could give you chills Jordan.”

“Oh, one thing does scare me.” You kept quiet and wondered what he meant. “A angry Y/N.”

You laughed and remembered the number of times you two had fought when you were younger. “Surely!”

“Okay. So go back there to your 'only friend’ guy and… I don’t know, find something to talk about.”

“He surely will ignore me,”

“Make him pay attention then.” He said and kissed your head and hugged you. “Good night, troublemaker.”

“Good night, firefighter.”

Both titles were nicknames you two received, you because you would enter anyone house if you thought an animal was hurt, and Jordan because once he literally ran into a house on fire to save an old lady, which made Happy really mad about his job as your bodyguard.

And as a joke, Tony placed him to watch out for Peter.

Bucky.

Steve had called Bucky ten minutes ago to put him inside what was happening in the real world.

Steve told about your information that leaked and he asked if Bucky had grown the guts to talk with you. He answered yes and told him about Jordan.

“Who is Jordan?”

“Apparently an old friend, they are taking care of the animals now. I think he likes her.” The talk went on until you entered the house, you saw Bucky was on the phone and it surely was someone you knew.

But you let it be and walked around going to grab some water. Bucky gave you the phone and you saw Steve’s name on it.

Steve explained that the information had leaked but Fury assured he wasn’t the responsible for it.

He also explained that Clint and Tony were going after some evidence to help in the process, you asked about Natasha and Vision. He told he hadn’t seen Natasha in a week and Vision was okay as always, he didn’t tell anyone about your whereabouts.

…

Bucky started to make a dinner since he likes to cook you wouldn’t interfere with it, actually it brought good memories when he cooked and you two spent the time talking.

He was just placing the past inside the boiling water. “So what had you done in the months where we weren’t close?” You asked.

“I got a few missions, it was okay.“ He answered, you gave him a beer, even knowing he wouldn’t get drunk but at least would make the ‘talk‘ more equal. “You?“

“Well, everything became a terrible soap opera, then I moved out of the Compound, I don’t know if you’d noticed.“ He lowered his head, of course, he did, suddenly he came back from a mission in Siberia and you weren’t there anymore. “Then one day Fury appeared in the door of my apartment saying I was being arrested for leaking private information… and well here we are.“

“Do you have any idea who can be behind all of that?“

You shook your head in a silent ‘no’. “I’m glad the majority of my friends believe me, thank you for believing in me, Buck.” You reached his flesh hand squeezing for a few seconds.

He smiled making the corners of his eyes crinkle. “Sure, you’re my friend and I know you wouldn’t do this type of thing.”

You smiled completely delighted that he gave you his breathtaking smile after so long, but the subject was something that was stealing your rest. “Steve almost believed them, you saw how he was when he watched the footages.”

His forehead furrowed. “You know that punk, but the important thing is that he raised his hand.”

You let a heavy sign and took a couple of sips. “I know it’s stupid and I had a huge luck having so many on my side, and Sam apologized and everything but… I still feel like you guys don’t believe me. Tony, I get it, he is the father figure and wants the best for me, but what if he is doing that just to protect the idea of me?”

“What do you mean?”

“I’m his best friend, daughter for all effects, but, what if he is just trying to prove to himself that I won’t be a failure in his life?”

Bucky felt in the same way with Steve. “Tony really loves you, you’re the only family he has.” He said and felt a punch in his throat. Only family because I killed the rest of it. He thought.

The following hours you two settled in a comfortable conversation like all the rest didn’t matter. He talked about the new things he remembered and even brought the little notebook he used to note the things his mind got back.

You smiled and felt happy having your friend there again.

You two cleaned the mess in the kitchen and got ready for bed.

When you finished your shower Bucky got his and you sat on your bed reading his note-book, with his permission of course.

You worshipped reading his memories, loved his messy handwritten and adored how he placed a few pictures here and there to make it more sense in his mind.

He walked out of the shower and gave you a goodnight smile. “Bucky. You don’t have to sleep at the end of the hall.” His faces blushed, he didn’t expect you to realize he was trying to create a barrier between the two of you. “You can sleep in the others, or here if you want too.”

Bucky had nights and nights filled with nightmares, and it wasn’t awkward for you two sleep in the same bed, it had occurred thousands of times over the years. Didn’t matter if it was his nightmares or yours, didn’t matter if it was in a small hidden place in dangerous missions nor if you two passed out after watching something on your laptop.

It was normal for him, he even believed the soft mattress wasn’t too soft with you in there. But then you two had been self-conscious with each other in the last weeks. Would it erase all the years of building trust you have accomplished with him?

“Okay, I will just make sure everything is locked.” He answered after questioning himself and walked downstairs.

It has happened before. And the mattress was huge and he probably would face the other side of it.

Bucky was pacing downstairs he saw if everything was okay dozen of times, and walked back to your room. He knew he loved to feel you beside him when he wakes up sweating his fear out. He likes to see your peaceful face and hear your heartbeat beating in a certain rhythm. He took a deep breath and walked back to the room.

There you were laid already but the notebook was still in your hands, Bucky thought it was adorable, you probably knew all the letters there by heart. He laid on the other side and darted his eyes everywhere in the room.

You closed the book and placed it on the nightstand after a few minutes. You turned the lamp and moved your body so you were facing him. “Good night, Bucky.” He looked at you and answered softly.

"Good night, Y/N."

…

After a few turns around he eventually got asleep until he felt something somewhat heavy on his metal arm. It was you supporting your head on his shoulder and your arm was over his torso.

You always liked the cold feeling of metal against your body, the contrast it made on Bucky’s warmth. He looked at the scene and smirked, your mouth was slightly agape so he knew you wouldn’t wake up easily, he moved his flesh arm and grabbed your hip calmly pulling your body above his.

You moved sleepily adjusting your body above the new heat, for Buck’s sake you were really tired so the new position didn’t alert you.

Bucky caressed your hair and fell asleep rapidly feeling somehow protected with you above his chest.

Before his slumber could take him fully, he whispered a soft. “I love you, doll.”

…

I’m sorry if the mention of animals shelters it’s very personal, BUT I love animals and if you don’t, what is wrong with you? (If I was Tony’s friend/daughter I surely would make hundreds of shelters.)

#bucky x reader #bucky barnes x reader

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badbookreviewclub · 5 years ago

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Empress Theresa, Chapters 11-20

Disclaimer: This contains spoilers. If you haven’t read the previous post you can find Chapters 5-10 here.

Yay! After a while, the next Review of Empress Theresa is finally here! I hope that you all enjoy because I sure as fuck didn’t. These chapters have some pretty fucked up logic, and Theresa does some pretty fucked up things (nothing worth a trigger warning). As such, I plan on having this review of these chapters be a bit more well researched than other chapters solely because I’m bored in quarantine, having gotten my assignments for my classes done early and I feel like fucking Norman Boutin’s logic up. This is the second to last review I’ll be posting for Empress Theresa (aside from a possible final one with a wrap up of feelings and thoughts I wasn’t able to express in these reviews). Like I’ve mentioned before I’ve got a few other books in the line-up to read and get through afterward. I doubt I’ll be doing much more in this style (considering how bizarrely long Empress Theresa is), though I hope you enjoy it nonetheless. Remember, if you have any books you want me to review, shoot me a message! I’ll look into them as soon as I can or let you know if that one is already on the shelf and waiting! But enough procrastinating, on with the chapters!

Chapter 11

Despite the fact that last chapter, Theresa went on a week-long vacation to France and Ireland (which if I remember right, I grew very heated about), this chapter it has been nearly a month since that trip and Theresa is already growing “depressed” from the “oppressive work” she’s being “forced to do”. So she takes another trip, this time by herself. She heads to a small village and basically parties with the people there. After the party, she heads back to start working and we finally learn what Theresa’s code is. It’s a substitution code, basically. Now I’m not good at code, I’ve never taken any training in it, but I’ve been told that it’s a substitution code. “The code was triplets made of three characters: AB2, AB3, AB4, CAA, DBB, and so on. Only I knew the code. It couldn’t be broken by all the intelligence agencies in the world because they represented actions and locations, not words. Besides that, I threw in some useless dummy parameters to confuse anybody looking over my shoulder. To pound the final nail in the coffin, I randomly surrounded the parameter codes with tiny circles, squares, rectangles, and arrows that meant nothing” (pg 189). Now I may not know how to break code myself, but that sounds like it would be pretty fucking easy to break into anyways. Aside from that, we learn that Theresa is basically just going to end up using a chessboard or wire twisted and pinned to pieces of plywood to ‘target’ or ‘tag’ things so HAL can follow them. I’m still not quite sure how that works, but I guess HAL can really only work with three dimensions, so it works with this three-dimensional code and applies it to something? Fuck if I know. But to test HAL’s abilities she raises a pointless 10-foot-wide column of water off the Gloucester coast. It went up at 200 miles an hour, which is 3 miles a minute (which is pretty fucking fast, I would think). You’d think this would displace a lot of water, but I guess not. She repeats the same thing in the Pacific ocean but with six water columns, and instead of ten, they’re one hundred feet wide. In 45 minutes they reached 150 miles (which is still 3 miles a minute, so at least Norman is consistent on that front). And then, at 150 miles in thE FUCKING AIR SHE JUST LETS THE SHIT AT THE TOP FREE FALL. Apparently, the impact of the atmosphere just turns that shit into steam.

Steve suggests that he should go to the UN to give the program that Theresa is working off of (I think), to quell the world’s fears and anxiety. Theresa agrees but only because “This might have been a little grandstanding on Steve’s part, but that was forgivable. This could be his last chance to hold the spotlight” (pg 194). Theresa constantly says that she doesn’t want to hold the spotlight, yet she constantly brings up that nobody will get the spotlight but her, and she never seems upset about it. Even later on, when someone in parliament stands up to question her, she gets pissed off because they took the spotlight from her. They spoke out against her and she becomes a toddler and throws a big fucking fit about it. Theresa says she doesn’t want to be in the spotlight and that she doesn’t like it, but her actions sure as fuck don’t show that. Chapter 12

North Korea is launching a missile at the water towers. For what purpose? I don’t fucking know. It says later on in the chapter that by doing this they think that they’re destroying HAL, and as such, will economically destroy everyone when the huge tsunamis hit the coastlines. I don’t know how they know that Theresa is sending HAL out there to control the water columns, but I guess she is? The problem is she’s not sending all of HAL out to control the column. She can still do other shit with it, so I have no idea what the logic is in this chapter. She’s also controlling his actions with a chessboard because I guess the plywood and metal wire was boring as shit. We also learn that everybody is fucking terrified of Theresa. “In other words, everybody was afraid of what I would do next” (pg 202). Which is followed shortly by, “Don’t piss me off!” (pg 202). Theresa clearly enjoys that people are scared of her. She gets a kick out of it because it puts her as the one in control and nobody can do jack shit about it. The entire world is terrified of her, and for some reason, Theresa loves that. Theresa is a fucking monster, and that point will only be proven even more later on! Nobody knows what Theresa will do next, because she was going to raise the water columns up in the thousands around the world, but she can’t do that anymore. So instead, she clears out a giant fucking area in the North Pole, and she’s going to raise up water columns there. The first thing she does is create splash barriers so tsunamis can’t come out and kill everybody, and I guess those work just fine. Theresa is able to easily raise these splash barriers because “The Arctic Ocean was only half a mile deep which made this piling up of rock easier for me to do then it would be in the three mile deep Atlantic” (pg 204). First of all, this is really wrong. It takes a really quick and easy Google search to realize that the Arctic isn’t necessarily half a mile deep. At its deepest, it’s 3.4 miles. Sure, where Theresa could be doing this, it may only be half a mile deep, but that would be fucking stupid and wouldn’t give her nearly enough water for what she plans to do. At the Atlantic, at its deepest, is 5.3 miles. Once again, a quick and easy Google search proves Norman wrong.

But, besides this faulty logic, we get even more bad logic. Theresa raises four water columns in the North Pole at 1,000 feet each. For reference, the International Space Station on most given days is only ~250 miles from the Earth’s surface. I know 1,000 miles seems really impressive, but it’s just really impractical. The water (now ice) would be so far out of the influence of earth’s gravitational pull that it would just orbit around the Earth, not come crashing back down. Please, feel free to correct me if I’m wrong about this. I’m just a history major, not a physics major.

Chapter 13 Theresa uses a chessboard to raise up 56 columns of water in the North Pole. Because of the amount of water that’s rising up (5,012 miles exactly) which you know, goes out nearly as far and further than most satellites. Space technically starts at 62 miles above the earth’s surface (average sea level, I think), so Theresa has giant fucking columns so far from earth that there is no way in fuck that they’ll be able to fall back down to earth (source). Yet somehow, these columns can still come crashing down and throw water back into the atmosphere which causes it to rain. And when the water comes crashing back down to earth, it’s akin to “eight million tons of TNT every second” (pg 213). So you know, Theresa has just effectively ruined the North Pole forever and ever and ever. The largest atomic bomb ever detonated by the United States, Castle/Bravo, let off the energy force of about 15 tons of tnt. This was a singular explosion, Theresa’s explosions are happening every. Single. second. (source)

But aside from this devastation to a really important ecosystem on Earth, it created rain. Nearly 100 inches a year, everywhere, for as long as the water columns are active. Theresa has flooded the earth. The earth’s average rainfall is about 39 inches a year (source). There are obvious exceptions, like the Amazon Rainforest, which can get 100-200 inches of rain per year, depending on the area (source). This means the entire world is essentially going to drown because of how much rain Theresa just gave them. Wait to go, Theresa, you just “saved” everyone.

Oh but that isn’t it, to put a sweet little cherry on top, Theresa decides that she needs to tilt the earth so it’s straight up and down and the earth no longer has a tilt to it. This effectively rids the world of seasons, making it summer all year round so people can grow crops all year round (hint: you really can’t do that). There are plenty of crops that grow in summer, but Theresa effectively wiped out all seasonal crops, so way to fucking go, Theresa. Not to mention that because there will be no more snow or winter because she doesn’t think we need it, there goes the entire industry having to do with skiing and snowboarding. There also goes most places supplies of water. In the region that I live, we rely really heavily on having enough snow during the winter times so that when spring comes around and the snow starts to melt off of the mountains it will run down and our reservoirs will be filled again. Then we don’t have to be concerned about not having enough water for the summer and fall months. There are also areas in my state where it’s harder to get water to, so people have to put out basins on their property to collect snow so it melts and they have enough to water crops, yards, and sometimes, even just so their water bills don’t absolutely skyrocket. So thanks for sending people into poverty too, Theresa. Oh wait? She doesn’t care? She donates a tiny portion of her trillions later on to the world poor fund as we learn later on. How generous and benevolent of you Theresa. However shall we repay this debt that we owe you?

Chapter 14

In this world, rather than Theresa having killed off the entire population of the earth, she just saved everyone. How wonderful and heroic of her. Everyone is celebrating her and who she is. Norman decided that it was absolutely important to add into just how the Chinese were celebrating her too, “They were holding my photograph in their hands and yelling Tah-ee-sah! Tah-ee-sah!” (pg 219). I don’t know about you all, but that seems pretty racist to me because Norman had to specifically include that. He didn’t talk about how everyone was chanting her name, nor point out how it was being pronounced. He specifically did this with China.

Anyways, besides supposedly being in hiding and nobody being able to find her, she has to leave the Parker estate because they expect half a million people to visit the house by the day’s end and can’t have her there. So you know, guess she wasn’t all that well in hiding. Because she leaves though, Theresa decides that she needs to go to Parliament to talk and put her two cents out there. We also find out that she’s not a public speaker in the most brilliant way, “‘I’m not a public speaker. I never wanted to be. I’m talking to the media and the people on the street. Excuse this little piece of paper. It reminds me of the points I’ve been thinking of a long time’” (pg 222). Does this remind anyone of the familiar little phrase ‘Show don’t tell’? There are better ways to introduce that she’s not a public speaker, like stuttering over herself, fidgeting, not looking at the audience, mumbling and then speaking too loud. The microphone could peak because she’s not used to using one, she could knock something over out of nervousness. We could see her fidgeting with the notecard. Norman doesn’t do any of this because he has no idea how to show and not tell us exactly what’s going on.

Nonetheless, she continues on with a long and boring speech just saying that she doesn’t want to be mobbed in public. Someone in the House stands up though and asks why she’s there, which is a perfectly reasonable question. Theresa doesn’t see it this way, however. “I could single him out because he had stood up when he said that. I suppose it was a House rule. I stared at him with no attempt to hide my contempt. How dare he interrupt me! In answer to his own question, why had he spoken if not to attract attention to himself? This hypocrisy had to become plain to everyone as I stared his political career into oblivion. “‘You interrupted me” I said. “Nobody interrupts me. I don’t need you’” (pg 223). I thought you didn’t want attention, Theresa? I thought you just wanted to be treated like everyone else? I thought you weren’t special. Not to mention she says it’s hypocritical. The man did absolutely nothing to be hypocritical. Theresa is so unaware that it’s painful and it makes me angry. She follows this up by claiming that there’s a new sheriff in town (hint: it’s her). Yet she continues with the notion that she doesn’t want attention. :) :) :) :) :) :) :):):):): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): ): I fucking hate this book

We find out what happened to Jan. Apparently despite the fact that she could say she was working with the government, she’s been unemployed because the ‘eight-year gap’ in her resume made her unemployable. This is just bullshit. She obviously worked for the government, there are records of her working for the government, she had a supervisor. Not to mention, an eight-year gap doesn’t make someone unemployable. I’m sorry, but it just doesn’t. But Theresa sends a message out on the ‘All Theresa All the Time’ channel to let Jan know that she’s not angry at her and wants to meet with her. So you know, Despite the fact that there’s a channel dedicated to her on TV, one that she obviously uses, she definitely doesn’t want the attention and wants to be treated like a normal person. Definitely. Fuck you Theresa.

Chapter 15

I had to walk away and watch YouTube for a few hours but I’m back, and somewhat more relaxed again. So let’s get started on chapter 15. Essentially because of thermal expansion, because Theresa fucked up the entire earth and its tilt, they expect that the oceans will rise two or three feet in a year. Norman also says that parts of the ocean are 3 miles deep, as if that’s the deepest part of the ocean, but the deepest parts of the ocean are 7 miles (Challengers Deep, the deepest part of the ocean, is ~7 miles down) (sorry for saying ‘deep’ and ‘deepest’ so much). The solution? Lift a lot of cubic miles of water out of the oceans and yeet them out of the earth never to return. Brilliant. Because of all the rain they have to find protective headgear as well so they don’t get soaked. Theresa and Co. (Steve and Prime Minister Blair) get traditional American Firefighter helmets. These are such a slam hit to see everyone wearing that companies start making fake knock-offs so people can be like Theresa. They also decide to travel around the world to take a break. Their break is so rudely interrupted because the wind is slowly returning, and that will cause massive and destructive hurricanes that the world just can’t afford to deal with. We also find out that the earth hasn’t completely lost its declination. It’s 5 degrees now, which you know, is so much better than 0. Theresa is such an amazing person though for not wanting to right the word again because the Asians can’t afford to go through winter, and if they went through winter they would lose half a billion people. Because you know, it isn’t like all of this isn’t her fault in the first place and this whole thing could have been avoided if Theresa hadn’t cherry-picked problems to solve in the first place.

Chapter 16

Theresa spends the whole night crying. I’m so sad for her :(:(:(:(:(:(::) :) :) :) :) :) :) :) Steve decides to fix this. And the way he fixes this? They need to go and grab elements from the sun and bring them down to earth to stop the hurricanes. The elements that they grab? Xenon, and per the request of the British military, helium. After a month of attempting this, Xenon now accounts for two ounces of atmospheric pressure. Xenon is an inert noble gas that’s traditionally used in lighting. Xenon is also classified as an asphyxiant. Inhalation in excessive conditions can cause dizziness, nausea, vomiting, and loss of consciousness. “The first symptoms produced by a simple asphyxiant are rapid respirations and air hunger. Mental alertness is diminished and muscular coordination is impaired. Later judgment becomes faulty and all sensations are depressed. Emotional instability often results and fatigue occurs rapidly. As the asphyxia progresses, there may be nausea and vomiting, prostration and loss of consciousness, and finally convulsions, deep coma and death” (source). A concentration of 75% Xenon inhaled can be fatal in minutes. All Theresa is using it for is to cool the air because xenon has a cooling effect on the environment. However, in the process, she is also killing all the asthmatics and people with other respiratory conditions. Congratulations, Theresa. She’s probably killing more people than that too, because she’s putting a fuck ton of helium into the atmosphere and air. The atmosphere, after a month, became 10% helium. It’s true that at the current time, we are having a helium shortage, but considering that Norman claims this is a million times what our current atmosphere’s helium content is, that seems like it’s a terrible idea. An increase in the helium in our atmosphere increases the atmospheric pressure. This isn’t a terrible thing and not everybody dies, but asthmatics and people with other respiratory issues are sure as fuck going to have a terrible time.

She also fucks up the gravity of the entire solar system by taking Europa, one of Jupiter’s moons, and making it orbit around Mars. Do I even need to explain why this is a bad idea? Why fucking up the gravitational orbit of the solar system is the absolute worst idea I have ever fucking seen?

Then she goes and crashes the entire economy and puts the world into a global depression by flooding the market with gold and silver. They claim it’s a monetary stabilizer, and sure, it is, if you want your money to be stabilized at like .02. This has absolutely no consequence on anything or anyone in Theresa land though, which is fucking stupid and so unrealistic. Norman tries to paint this book like it’s realistic and something that people could actually work with, but you really can’t. At the disclaimer at the very end of the book, the only thing that he says isn’t realistic is the way that President Martin acted (wanting to blow up Theresa). Anyways, Theresa hires Jan as her financial manager (because that makes sense, and Jan definitely has experience with finances [she doesn’t]). And the chapter is ended off with “I wonder what my old BC boyfriend Jack Koster was thinking of all this!” (pg 253). Was all of this just to get back at Jack? What the fuck Theresa? Why? I thought you were happily married to Steve? So why the fuck are you thinking of Jack? I’m so confused. Chapter 17

God I am so fucking close to being finished with this review and then I can finish the fucking book, write the final review, and be out and never think of this fucking book again. This chapter though, oh god this chapter is something else. Theresa is a horrible human being in this chapter and honestly is akin to a monster in this chapter. So all of the people who held stocks in Gold Bullion have just lost all of their money thanks to Theresa (see, she has sent people into poverty, wiping out their retirement funds, college funds for their kids, et...c). As such, they’re filing a class-action lawsuit against Theresa, headed by Connie McKesson. Reasonable, right? They’re asking for 35 billion dollars in damages which I guess is far less from what she’ll get in her gold sales. Someone claims that Theresa may spend most of her life in courts (which makes sense).

Theresa gets pissed at Steve because the idea to get the gold was his idea so she storms upstairs and leaves him downstairs. Mrs. Parker comes up and reassures Theresa that nobody is to blame when couples have problems, “The world is to blame” (page 256). So now she makes up with Steve. Despite that Norman claiming that there’s no swearing in the book, Steve says “We’ll get this lawyer bitch” (page 257). Even though Connie is just doing her job, Steve and Theresa come after her without relent. They find out where she is and stalk her. HAL targets and tags Connie, and they follow her home from her workplace. She lives in a single-family home, and apparently this is something that’s funny to Steve and Theresa, like it’s a bad thing. They confirm that Connie has two little children and yet they’re still absolutely awful and mean to her. Despite the fact that she’s just trying to do her job, and earlier they stated that the people who were filing the suit would just go to another law firm, Theresa still goes after Connie. “Any vehicle she entered would not move. I wasn’t going to allow her to go anywhere except on foot” (page 261). She does this for the other eight (male) lawyers in Connie’s firm as well. Apparently, this is somehow better because “The crybaby media couldn’t say I was making it hard for mommies to take care of their kids as they said about Connie McKesson” (page 262). More than that, I don’t think Norman thought about single fathers or families who rely on the men to be the primary breadwinner in the household. This is 2020, yes, but there are still plenty of families where men are the primary breadwinners. She’s keeping people from being able to go to their jobs, to make money, to support their families. She’s forcing them to do whatever the fuck she wants because she’s mad that they have to do their jobs.

And if they had a medical emergency, Theresa would have to look them over to confirm that they weren’t buffing, otherwise they couldn’t go anywhere at all unless it was on foot. However, you can’t always know someone has a medical emergency just from first glance (e.g. like an exploding appendix). It’s cruel and disheartening. What if one of their children had a medical emergency? What then? What if they needed to get across town quickly because a family member was in an accident or had an emergency? Theresa said she wouldn’t let them take any transport aside from walking unless she deemed that they could. And nobody can do jack shit about this. Why? Because although everybody knows it’s her, there’s no physical evidence that it is. “So! I could do anything I wanted to anybody and nobody would dare do anything about it! I kind of liked that” (pg 262). How horrible is Theresa? She can do whatever the fuck she wants, she can ruin peoples lives, crash economies, kill people, and so long as she does it with HAL, nobody can do shit against her. Not to mention all of this was so unnecessary. Everybody knew that Theresa would win the suit anyway, so why the fuck did she feel the need to go to all this effort? Why the fuck would she be willing to ruin their lives until they dropped the suit? It’s cruel and it’s inhumane. When they finally drop the lawsuit she lets them go so they could finally travel in ways other than via foot. “Don’t mess around with Empress Theresa” (pg 263).

They decide that they can use this grounding trick with terrorists too. Because you know, not being able to use a vehicle will definitely stop a terrorist. Definitely. But in Theresa-land it will. Though by targeting these terrorists with the grounding trick (despite a million better ways that she could target terrorists with HAL), she apparently is setting a target on her back, but she’s going through with it anyways. We get another line that absolutely proves just how horrible of a person I think Theresa is and how little empathy she has, more specifically, how little empathy or care I think Norman Boutin has. “The Parkers made no effort to hide their disappointment. Their darling Theresa was more important to them than nameless bombing victims” (pg 265). What if it was your family? Your mother, your brother, your sister, your father, your cousin, your aunt, your uncle, your grandparent? What if it was your friend? Your best friend? What if it was you? Just because you don’t know them doesn’t mean that other people didn’t. For someone that was their family member. That was their friend, their best friend. That wasn’t just a nameless bombing victim. That was a person.

Chapter 18

Once again I had to get up and walk away and do something else for a little bit. But I’m back now and somewhat more ready to keep writing, so let’s just keep trudging on, I guess.

The news is filled with stories of terrorists being grounded, Theresa brags about how she could have killed the lawyers if she wanted to. The US decides to mint silver coins with Theresa’s face on them because she’s just that fucking important. One again she brings up Jack, which is completely and utterly pointless. I don’t know at this point if she’s still in love with Jack or if she loves Steve because she brings up Jack so fucking often it seems.

We meet the main bad guy of the next few chapters, I guess. OPEC, or the Organization of Petroleum Exporting Countries. And rather than delving into this, Theresa just fucking moving on and straight to meeting President Stinson, the new president of the United States for the first time. Theresa brings Prime Minister Blair along as a representative for the rest of the world (because the Prime Minister of England can totally do that). All they talk about though is OPEC, and apparently how OPEC thinks that “they can make you cave in and turn you into a slave. That will give them the power they always wanted” (pg 272). I’m still not really sure where this came out of considering that OPEC held absolutely no role before and Theresa had never shown an interest in petroleum. Now, however, I guess she does. I guess it’s because she’s going to bring carbon into the atmosphere to try and beat them (she never does as far as I’ve read in the book). I guess they quickly scrap that idea though because now Theresa is going to bring land up to the surface so they can have an entire petroleum mining business from the ocean floor. It would be hers though because you know, it’s not like another country would be able to lay claim to it, but whatever.

President Stinson also goes to Congress so they can make it so Theresa can’t be sued because she definitely needs that power too and fuck you, you can’t lay a single fucking finger on our perfect little Theresa.

OPEC and Theresa have had like 0 contact up until this point, but they come out on TV with their demands “We seek justice on the world stage. If it is not given to us we will take it. We demand the operation known as grounding to be removed from all freedom fighters [terrorists, according to Theresa]…. We demand that Theresa Hartley put ten billion dollars every month into a fund for the world’s poor. We demand the land known to the West as Israel be returned to the people who lived there before 1947. If these demands are not met we will sell no oil to the United States or the European Union” (pg 276). Yeah, so turns out, Theresa wasn’t even fucking donating to the world’s poor all along, let alone out of her own volition. We’ve learned at this point that she has fucking trillions in the bank and yet she can’t be fucked to donate to people. The money is still rolling in for her and yet she can’t donate to anyone. Also, OPEC isn’t associated with terrorists as far as I know? If I’m wrong please correct me, but it seems more like the terrorists attack OPEC more than not.

But apparently these demands are too outrageous for Theresa and send her to tears. Despite the fact that you know, apparently none of this was a problem before (especially on the oil part). But we’re supposed to pity Theresa here. I’ll let you in on a secret, I really don’t pity Theresa. In fact, I really hate her guts and I hope those assassins do finally come after her and kill her :) Theresa moves on anyways, not willing to give into OPEC’s demands and picks a rectangle near the arctic where she’s going to pull up a bunch of land to mine for petroleum on. She doesn’t do that just yet though because she has to go and meet with Prime Minister Scherzer (the prime minister of Israel). She gives him two options, Plan A is that they move the entire fucking country of Israel and stick it smack damn in the Mediterranean between Italy and Greece. Prime Minister Scherzer doesn’t like this so they move on to Plan B, where Theresa just raises an entire island for them all to live on. Originally it was going to the in the shape of the Star of David, though Sherzer points out this is kind of unconventional, so he changes it and it’s really fucking complicated and basically a bunch of islands with harbors to protect it. Theresa also agrees that she can just move Jerusalem to the island without a fucking hassle.

Then we come back to the island that Theresa is raising to mine petroleum from and to sell at $20 a barrel, which is anywhere from ~4-10 dollars below the general crude price of oil as of today (4/7/2020) (source) And because they’re still worried about assassins, this time coming after the Israeli people while they’re moving across the land bridge that Theresa will be making as a temporary way to get to the island she’s creating for them, Theresa decides that the best way to avoid it is to make 24-hour sunlight. Fucking Wonderful. That definitely won’t fuck shit up.

Chapter 19

I am so fucking close. I just want to be done. I fucking hate Theresa so much. I hate this stupid fucking book and its terrible logic. Theresa basically starts blowing up an area where she wants to raise the ground to make her giant oil mining operation and predicably the world freaks the fuck out. Theresa blows the hole so deep in the ocean that it should be in the earth’s mantle, but somehow it fucking isn’t. Oh well, I guess. Theresa also just decides in this chapter that she’s fine being a god among men. “How quickly people forgot my benevolence when fear took control of them!” (pg 292). “It wouldn’t do to have the World Empress blow her top” (pg 293). She also seems to forget everything that she’s done to attack the lawyers who were just trying to do their job by refusing to let them go anywhere unless it was by foot, “I’m still waiting for an apology for the attempt on my life, but I haven’t done anything to anybody, have I?” (pg 293).

People are pretty upset she’s just ripping up the ocean and the ground and not telling anybody about what she’s doing, which is understandable. England sets up tanks and Gatling guns (for the drones) and soldiers with rifles to shoot anyone who gets close because I guess people are just so upset about what Theresa is doing in the middle of the Arctic ocean. And the reason why she’s making this giant rectangle so deep is for the overflow of the ocean when she raises up that giant fucking piece of land so she can make companies mine oil for her. Theresa also brings a fuck ton of carbon to earth and compresses it into diamonds so she can make a giant diamond ring that will reflect the sunlight and give the earth 24-hour sun. Apparently, people are super fucking pumped about this. That honestly just sounds like hell to me. I can’t even be bothered right now to research why that’s a terrible fucking idea and would throw so many people and things off and would just ruin everything.

Chapter 20

Theresa has to meet with ‘a Saudia Arabian’ instead of OPEC, which she’s pretty fucking upset about. “It didn’t matter to me what his name was. And to be honest, what he had to say didn’t matter much to me either unless he was prepared to give up all his demands” (pg 313). So this man is a representative of OPEC, but apparently that’s still not good enough for Theresa because she’s a childish brat who needs to have whatever the fuck she wants or else the rest of the world is going to suffer for it. Way to write a super relatable and lovable character, Norman. Anyways, Theresa meets with this man in Geneva, Switzerland, where they have a Swiss representative for the government or military, or something, there. Not to be a mediator or anything, but just to throw herself in the way in case they start throwing knives because that’s definitely going to happen. Anyways, Theresa basically says if they drop their demands she’ll make all the countries in the middle east more like Europe, with mountains and rain and forest and without the deserts. So essentially, Theresa is willing to destroy an entire VERY IMPORTANT ECOSYSTEM. All just so she doesn’t have to deal with OPEC anymore. Wonderful. Fucking. Wonderful. And we’re supposed to believe that Theresa isn’t a horrible person? Anyways, after the meeting where nothing is resolved or agreed on, Theresa, I guess, has already lifted the island for the Israeli people. She starts making the landbridge so they can get to it, which you know, is fuckin mint. She then sends up her diamond ring to give the world 24-hour daylight, and people were super happy about it. Which is so fucking stupid and unrealistic. So much shit would get fucked up.

Apparently crime rates drop because of it, which I have a hard time believe considering that a lot of crimes happen in daylight, specifically when people are at work (break-ins).

And to end off the chapter, the Exxon Maria, the petroleum boat that’s carrying the petroleum from the mining operation happening on the island that Theresa was making blows the fuck up after a 55-foot long ‘fishing’ boat rams into it.

This entire book is just… something else. And I hate it. Get fucked Theresa. Chapter 21-28 will be the last review for this book, and then I can move on with my life. I hate this book so much. So, so fucking much. It’s so terrible and you don’t even know it until you try and read it yourself. Until then, I hope that you enjoyed this review.

#bad book reviews #bad book #review #reviewblr #bookblr #empress theresa #theresa is a monster #fuck you theresa #i want to die #I hate this book so much #this was torture #nearly done

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tragedybunny · 5 years ago

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The Blade’s Edge - A League of Legends Fanfiction - Chapter 13

They had a simple arrangement. She was the weapon to be used on his enemies. Things get more complicated when emotions bleed into what should simple. Now the two of them find themselves on the precipice of something that was entirely unexpected.

He’s already gone when I awake, of course, the sun indicating that it’s already near mid-day. How do I still feel tired? I roll over and stare at the canopy above me, reliving the feeling of him undressing me last night and pulling me into his arms before sleep overtook me. It’s maddening. No, I’ll continue in my resolve to see nothing in it, to not give meaning where there is none. I suppress the memory and pull myself from bed, heading to my room to dress for the day. A note waits for me on my dressing table, written in his measured script, exacting and precise, as would be expected from him.

“I trust tonight the Guild will be meeting and you will take control of it with little resistance. Once you have that firmly in hand I require a task of you. Augustus Montrose must be eliminated tonight, he’s begun to realize the alliance between his sister and myself. As always, take care of yourself. - J”

“PS. I was informed that you were almost out of that violet perfume you always wear.”

I finally notice the ornate glass bottle to the left of where the note was, full of the aforementioned scent. My reward for being a good little pet. I wonder what Augustus’s death will earn me. That poor little idiot, he tried so desperately to be important and powerful, he’s earned a death sentence instead. I’d almost feel bad for him, but getting in that deep with any faction in Noxian politics is basically asking to be struck down at any moment.

After I’m dressed I ring for Gwen and she appears in short order, always eager to be of use. “Yes Madame.” She has a sober look to her face, as if she already has sensed why she’s here.

I sit at the dressing table and examine the wide bruise that has bloomed on the right side of my face. “I’ll need your kitchen boy to come through, I need to know where Montrose intends to be tonight.”

In the mirror, I see her expression change to one of smug self-satisfaction. “As it turns out, I took the initiative to inquire after him this morning. He complained that tonight another elaborate dinner party has been planned, even after all the Solstice revels. Montrose is celebrating some new, powerful friends he’s made.”

I stop and turn towards her. “Did he mention a woman at all, unusually pale?” How deep is he in, what are we about to stir up?

She bites her lip and shakes her head. “No, just some of the usual nobility who rankle at the loss of privilege they’ve experienced. He’ll stay in the kitchens after dinner and the other servants have been dismissed. Knock if you see no movement inside.”

Well, we won’t be taking a piece off the board that she’ll desperately miss. “Perfect, thank you, Gwen, that will be all.” I dismiss her with a gesture and turn my attention to readying myself for the Guild tonight. Augustus will be easy to find when I’m ready for him.

Weapons sharpened and muscles stretched in case of confrontation, Inara, Lark, and I gather early in the Guild’s headquarters, finding it empty thanks to a generous bribe I supplied via Lark. The unassuming building sits amidst a group of others housing various government functions. While most of High Command still functions from within the Immortal Bastion itself, bureaucracy has spread like a fungus to the area around it. It’s a reflection of the temple district in that way, both of them evolving over the years with Noxus itself, Old Town pressing up against them both and the Bastion as the nobility grappled for power. In times past, the Grand General dwelt in the Immortal Bastion, making it the ultimate seat of power. Jericho is different, preferring the control he has over his own family home to the mysteries and hidden spaces where a plot could come to fruition at any time. Of course, he still has unfettered access to it anytime he wishes. The Guild’s place here would shock outsiders who don’t understand it’s place within Noxus. Assassination has never been a method that our government or military has considered off-limits. The position in Intelligence of a Guild Officer enables the government to make use of its services at will, effectively making the it an unofficial branch of High Command.

I spent countless hours here as a child before our move to Shurima, and many more once we returned. I know all its twists and turns and nooks and crannies as well as that of my own family’s home. I even pass a small alcove I remember as a favorite of mine for spying, shrinking into the shadows as a child to listen to the adults around me. We clear the rambling structure room by room, including any hidden ones and secret passages that I know of, ensuring no one is lying in wait. Next, all secondary exits are secured, leaving only the main door as the way in or out. When I’m satisfied that everything is in place, Inara and I retreat to a side room off the main hall, to await or moment.

They trickle in through the next couple of hours, Inara and I taking shifts pressed up against the door to listen, some voices we recognize, some are unknown. Someone opens a stored cask of ale, they drink and converse, some begin to openly mourn the fallen. There’s a rising tide among them, confirmed dead members, Marius among them, who is targeting them? For what reason? Suspicions are aimed everywhere, including the Grand General. When the time is right, Lark raps on the wall next our hiding space, three sharp knocks, it’s time.

We emerge and push through the crowd to the very center, gasps and whispers following in our wake as recognition dawns on them. Time seems slow, this is it, the moment there’s no going back from. Now that I’ve come to it though, I know that every step I’ve taken has lead me here. Perhaps there is such a thing as destiny, and this is mine. Destiny or not, I am no longer General Du Couteau’s shamed daughter, and no longer the Grand General’s pet, I am Commander of the Assasin’s Guild, a force and entity in my own right.

“Brothers and sisters, your leaders are dead. They were weak and have paid the price for that. I stand before you now to take my rightful place in their stead, as your Commander.” Raucous noise breaks out among them, the three we recruited before this passionately on my side in the debate.

The din reaches its crescendo and a woman steps to the forefront. “You would deliver us into the hands of the Usurper, to be used as his weapon.”

I snort, someone was bound to put this forth. “The Grand General is the rightful ruler of Noxus, along with the others of the Trifarix. The Guild will support High Command as it always has, nothing more, nothing less.”

“So says the Grand Whore. Do you believe you can deceive…” She’s cut off by the dagger that flies from my hand and buries in her chest. I’m weary of the same nonsense being spewed over and over again.

No other moves to challenge me, they’re undecided, for the moment. “As I was saying.” Inara covers the fallen in a cloak and moves her discreetly out of the crowd. “Our numbers have dwindled, our coffers are depleted, and those arrogant bastard ‘guilds’ take our potential recruits. Let us rectify this, and find our strength once again. We’ll scour the lessor guilds from Noxus, once and for all, and become the power we were meant to be.”

Father made a grave error in his leadership, he finally succumbed to the Black Rose. His single-minded pursuit of their objectives took a toll on the Guild. I can see it in their faces, they hunger for a return to glory. The murmuring returns, this time it begins to swing in my favor. She took down Marius, we would have the Grand General’s support, she’s here and Marcus is not. Lark joins in, adding to the momentum, a vote is called for. I take note and the slim few who still dissent, they’ll have to be watched. When it finally ends, I’m officially Guild Commander Katarina Du Couteau, with Lark and Inara acting as seneschals.

My first order of business is just as I promised, both the Guild and Jericho, I assign a few of our members to begin tracking our competition. My second act is far less exciting, Inara and I head to the archives to understand the degree of disorder things have fallen to, leaving Lark to monitor for any fresh discord. I have some time before it will be clear to go after Augustus. I had briefly considered assigning someone else to the task, but I’m familiar with the Montrose estate. I suppose it’s fitting, he once said I stole his heart, now I’ll steal his life.

The Guild records are a shambles that reflect the last few years of leadership. I thumb through the latest records, noting the brazen embezzlement, and stare longingly at the fire. Inara laughs at me from behind a stack of loose papers belonging to gods know where. “Didn’t think this would be the hard part?”

I lay my head down on the desk. “How did it get this bad? Is this a Guild of idiots?”

“This is what happens when we rely on anyone who volunteers to do this. We only get thieves and idiots.” She sighs as she tosses the stack back down in front of her.

“Nevermind, I resign my position.” That gets a small laugh from her and her eyes brighten a bit. I stand and stretch, time to get the blood flowing back into my limbs. “I’m done, I’ve got some other business to handle.”

“Happy hunting, Commander.” For all that we have a mess ahead of us to deal with, there’s satisfaction about her. It makes me even more proud of what we’ve accomplished here tonight.

The city is quiet, still wrapped in a snowy mantle from the other night. I move through the streets in welcome solitude, reaching the Montrose estate with ease. With my cloak tucked around me, I watch the kitchen from the garden, someone has left a lamp burning so I can see the vague shapes within. When I’m finally satisfied that no unwanted company is around, I approach, keeping my cloak tight, and tap lightly. It only takes a second before a scrawny young man with dirty blonde hair cracks the door, the corners of his mouth up turning into a vicious smile the second he sees me. “He’s saying a drunken farewell to his guests, a girl awaits him in the blue parlor upstairs.” With that he vanishes up the servant stairs, leaving me with free reign.

With the other servants all withdrawn to their quarters the halls of the manor are as silent as the grave. I cautiously stalk through them, not making a sound, nearing the blue parlor. My plan is to take the girl first and wait for him. Quick and clean, he won’t even know what happened. Then I hear it, from a room back near the main staircase, that ancient snarling voice. “Augustus, you spoiled little hedonist, where are you?”

“Coming Grandmother!” His impatient reply comes from the bottom of the stairs. Life is good sometimes.

The old woman is ensconced in an over-decorated bedroom that’s rotten with faded glory. I slip in and silently shut the door behind me. She scrambles to prop herself up in bed, she knows I’m not her grandson. Her eyes have begun to fail though, so that’s all she can make out. “Wh-who’s there?” She summons some power to her voice, she’s so used to being obeyed. She and many others are relics of old Noxus, a time when the nobility were parasites, feeding off the strength of the Empire. They are a vain, petty, self-absorbed, lot whose time has passed.

I steal to her side and she makes a quiet gasp as her eyes finally reveal me. “Death Lady Montrose, death is among you tonight.” She makes to cry out but my hand slams down over her mouth. “This will be the fate of all who refuse to bend to the Empire’s new order.” I slide my blade between her ribs and down into her heart, a task made easy since she has no strength to struggle against me with. She slumps forward, her lifeblood draining into her fine bed covers.

There are footsteps in the hall, Augustus finally decided to answer his grandmother’s summons, and I slip behind the door to await him. It's only a moment before he throws it open snarling. “What do you want, you old bat?”

Three steps in and he finally takes in the scene before him, coming to a dead stop. I softly shut the door once again. He sucks in a breath as if he wants to scream and then I’m right behind him, breathing down his neck quite literally. He laughs, a mirthless sound. “Two nights. I was allowed to live two nights after getting too close to you. He’s certainly possessive.”

“Don’t be dramatic. This is about something entirely beyond you and me.” He’s unnervingly pliant as I put the dagger to his throat. Poor, weak Augustus, he doesn’t even know how to resist me. He sniffles when he feels it against his skin, all his bravado evaporated. He’s not the first I’ve seen to shed tears at their end and I’m not inclined to be moved by it.

“I would’ve done great things, you could have joined me at my side, Kat.” The words are marred by a strangled sobbing that he fights to keep from overtaking him. Back firm, but shoulders quaking, he struggles to meet his end with dignity.

“I’m already doing great things.” I dig the edge of the blade into his flesh and a whimper escapes him. His knees buckle immediately and I step back from him as his life flows into the plush carpet. It’s not long before a shudder marks his last breath.

Surveying the carnage around me I realize I may have gone a bit far with the old woman’s death. If Coraline faces repercussions from it Jericho will be furious. But then again, I smile to myself, it had been deeply satisfying putting an end to that bulwark of old Noxus. Either way, it is done and can’t be changed. I’ll need to slip out before that girl gets impatient and comes looking for Augustus.

I find the kitchen door left slightly ajar after heading back down the servant stairs. I shut it fast behind me and return to the waiting darkness of the night. It’s been a long night and I feel it in the stitched wound in my leg and the aching bruise on my face, and it feels wondrous. Tonight I am triumphant. I finally have what my father once promised to me. I took it with strength and cunning, as a Noxian should. Would father be proud? Perhaps I should go ask mother, a cruel, petty voice inside whispers. No, forget it. I’m beyond her, she’s nothing, a ghost haunting the ruin of her own life. The rage I have toward her will not be so easily extinguished though.

I focus myself back on the Guild, that thundering sensation as the crowd declared for me. I feel pride welling up in me, my confidence soaring. I’m damned self-satisfied and achingly confident as I approach the house. I wonder if Jericho is awake. He shouldn’t be but he rarely sleeps as much as he ought to. If he is, we should celebrate tonight’s success. The thought of him whispering in my ear about how pleased he is with me sends a shiver through me.

I’m broken out of my reverie by the sight of Dras shutting the gate. Odd that it’s open at this hour. He looks up at me and quickly looks away, but movement on the stairs has already drawn my attention. Jericho, he stops at the door when he hears me on the walk behind him. Breathing becomes difficult as I ascend the stairs to where he’s paused. I’ve always known I wasn’t the only one, I’ve just never had to viscerally confront it until this moment.

“Kat.” He already sounds like he’s going to attempt some insincere apology. I brush past him, an ache spreading through my chest. Then it hits me, the cloying smell of decaying roses, the scent that always marks her presence. Her, why her? Of course, it’s all another little power game to him. He puts a hand on my shoulder.

I shake it off with a violent shrug. “Don’t touch me.” I need to get away from him. I feel my eyes start to sting. No, I can’t do this in front of him.

He cuts in front of me, blocking my way to the stairs. “Don’t be like this.” He’s so irritatingly calm compared to the storm exploding inside me.

I put my hand up to ward him off. “It’s fine.” My voice somehow remains steady. “Exclusivity wasn’t part of our arrangement. I just want to be alone.”

He steps forward, stubbornly ignoring everything I said, and reaches out to put his hand on my cheek. Gods, that normally has the power to melt me. “If it is fine, why are you being dramatic?” How typical of him.

“Fuck you.” I shove his hand away from me. “You always have to have the last word. You could’ve just let me walk away.”

He pinches the bridge of his nose, eyes shut for a second, as though I’m the one who’s offended him. “Fine go. I’d rather not put up with a childish tantrum.”

Childish, it stings in ways I can’t define. The pain of it all twists and transforms, becoming fury. I close the distance between us, tilting my head to glare up at him. “Maybe you’d prefer to not put up with me at all? I can arrange that.”

“Try it. What have you ever accomplished in your life without me.” He snaps back at me.

Black washes over my vision, my thoughts vanishing into rage, and I lash out, striking him across the face. He catches my wrist with his left hand as I pull back. That roiling anger too quickly vanishes, replaced by a sudden dread as his eyes begin to smolder an unnatural crimson. I’ve never born witness to the demon truly unleashed. An aura of terrible power blazes around him, filling the hall with a haunting flickering red light. I quake slightly as I feel those unliving fingers dig into my wrist. “You ungrateful little bitch.” Another voice speaks along with his. Is it him or the demon in control now?

Instead of the unnatural warmth of his touch that I know so well, a burning begins to singe my skin. “Let go!” I try to pull away and I flashback to that night that started all of this, a similar altercation between us, how frighteningly strong he actually was. “Jericho, you’re hurting me.” In fear and desperation, I step forward and slam my shoulder into his chest.

He inhales sharply, backing up, and let’s go. His eyes close and that terrible power dissipates, coiling itself back inside him. I turn and flee, scared, humiliated, heartbroken. “Kat wait. I’m so sorry.” He calls after me, but I can’t even turn to face him.

I slam the door to my room behind me and collapse into the window seat. Pulling my knees up to my chest, I try and steady my rapidly beating heart and panting breath. I should leave, just forget whatever this absurd arrangement has become and go. I look down at my wrist, a scarlet, irritated handprint wraps around it. I shift and a sheath digs into my back, causing me to recoil as though someone was behind me. “Godsdamn it.” I pull out the dagger and send it across the room to embed in the wall. “Damn it all.” I rip the other blade from my back and toss it to the ground with a snarl before pulling my legs back up to my chest. Why can’t I find it in me to leave?

I stare apathetically out at the dark city until there’s a soft knock at the door. I’ll have to face him sooner or later anyway. “You wouldn’t go away if I told you to, so you might as well come in.”

He doesn’t meet my eyes as he enters, genuine guilt for once written on his features. “I wanted to apologize. You told me that I should not wait to do so. So I am here. Peace offering?” He holds out a bottle of wine, Shuriman, dark and bitter, very fitting.

Perhaps I am mad, but now that he’s here I don’t want him to leave me alone. I take the bottle and gesture to the seat next to me. As he sits I take a long pull from it. “Well, I’m listening.”

He fixes his gaze on the floor. “That was...not entirely me. However, losing control, that was my fault. And I do beg your forgiveness. I will understand if you do not wish to give it.”

After everything tonight I’ve grown numb and his words leave me oddly empty. But that lack of feeling brings some clarity, he’s not the only one who bears responsibility for what happened. “I shouldn’t have hit you. I’m sorry about that.” I take another pull off the bottle. “Interesting choice for an apology, what should I make of it?”

He shrugs. “I was sure you would be gone. I actually planned to drink myself to sleep.”

I hand him back the bottle. “Would you really allow that?”

At last, he turns to look up at me, our eyes locking. “I would not stop you if that is what you really wanted.” He passes the bottle back to me.

I take another long pull. “And where would I go? What would I do?” Our fingers touch as he takes the bottle back from my hand and he brushes his thumb along mine.

“You would work something out. You don’t really need me. That’s the truth, despite what I said earlier. ” Is it? I stretch my legs out into his lap and hiss as pain shoots through my leg. He looks at the floor again. “I forgot about your leg.” He sets the bottle to the side and takes my hand, looking pointedly at my wrist. “Should I go? Am I only making things worse?”

I don’t think I could bear it if he did. “No, it’s fine, stay.” I leave my hand in his. He squeezes it ever so slightly as if he’s worried I’ll make him let go.

Suddenly he leans over, arms around my waist and leaning his head against my chest. “I would prefer it if you didn’t leave though. I would miss you.”

Why is it that the only mercy that exists in my soul is for him? I wrap my arms around his shoulders and return his embrace. “I’m not going to leave.”

“Swear it?” he asks softly.

“I swear I’m not leaving.” I kiss the top of his head and lean my cheek against it.

He sighs as though he’s been relieved of a great burden. “And I swear to take more care from now on.” He pulls himself even tighter against me. “My Kitten.” Does he really not know that oath or not, I can be nowhere but by his side?

#swain #Katarina #swain x katarina #League of Legends #league of legends fanfction #tw domestic violence #jericho swain #katarina du couteau #swain league of legends #katarina league of legends #the blade's edge #my fanfiction #my writing

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ashleyspinelliburnbook · 5 years ago

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S1E6: My Fair Gretchen/Speedy, We Hardly Knew Ye

Me, literally one recap ago: “When are we gonna get a good Gretchen episode?”

Me, today, looking at the title of the next episode and refusing to be embarrassed: “WELL, FINALLY”

My Fair Gretchen

The most pressing revelation here is that “Recess” apparently takes place in Arkansas, as the episode begins with Miss Finster handing out the Arkansas Standard Achievement Test.

Beyond that, this is a lovely ~ironic subversion~ of the “My Fair Lady” trope. Let me explain: “My Fair Lady” is all about turning Eliza Doolittle into a more acceptable member of high society, right? Turning her from Cockney to, well, refined?

Here, we’ve got Gretchen, who’s by no means a member of high society, but the goal isn’t to get her there either. See, Gretchen is smart — very smart — to the point that she gets a perfect score on the ASAT. She’s called into Principal Prickly’s office, where she learns that she has the opportunity to go to Oppenheimer Elementary for the Incredibly, Extremely Gifted. (Of course, Prickly has a vested interest in this too. If two more of his kids go there, he gets that job at Spiro Agnew Middle School!)

But...Gretchen doesn’t really want to go to Oppenheimer. Her mom is excited to hear the news, but it just makes Gretchen sad. And when she tells her friends she’s on the fence about what she’s learned, they decide to take action.

After Gretchen takes one last walk around the school, saying goodbye to the swingset, the graffiti, and the rancid fish sticks in the dumpster, she gets home to find...the gang! And they’ve got a plan to de-smart her so that when she goes in front of the Oppenheimer review board the next day, they’ll have no choice but to turn her down.

“I’ve been trying to dumb myself down ever since kindergarten,” Gretchen says, to which TJ replies, “This time, you’ve got experts on your side.”

“Yo, Prickly,” New Gretchen says as she walks into the gym for her review. After a whirlwind day of trying new looks (courtesy of the Diggers, the Ashleys, the kindergarteners), she shows up in, um, I’m not a fashion person but she’s coming off as very...not this decade? Wow, helpful.

So yeah, instead of going for “refined,” we get, well, the opposite of that. But here, it’s also the socially acceptable landing point. Instead of being a super-genius who aces standardized tests, Gretchen is now...just like any other kid.

The board, pictured above, asks Gretchen a handful of trivia questions, and she gets them all spectacularly wrong (“Who was the 14th president of the United States?” “Dennis Rodman?”). From outside, the gang celebrates her achievement...until the plan backfires.

A humiliated Principal Prickly accuses Gretchen of cheating on the exam, and Gretchen can’t help but recite all of the correct answers to their questions, in order, with perfect accuracy. Albert Einstein (you see him, come on) asks why she was hiding her intelligence, and she explains she doesn’t want to go to the new school. The board banishes Prickly to the hallway, where he and the gang await Gretchen’s fate.

When they emerge, Einstein explains that Gretchen convinced the board that there's more to education than book-learnin’ (which sort of reminds me of “Bart the Genius,” where Bart initially tries to convince the gifted school he has cheated his way into to let him go back to his old school undercover, “to see what makes ‘em tick”).

The board suggests the school instead implement a tutorial program, and the episode ends with Gretchen teaching...a room full of teachers. As it should be.

Takeaway: Every time I see an episode about a gifted kid/genius kid, I think about all the memes that go, like, “if you were ever a ‘gifted kid’ in school, you’re depressed now,” and...yeah. Imagine having all this pressure to succeed in fourth grade, you know?

Speedy, We Hardly Knew Ye

(Today in “trying something new on the blog,” I want to share something I wrote a few years ago that pretty much says what I would have written here anyway. The episode is about the class hamster, Speedy, dying, and how the kids react to it.)

In middle school, I had two opportunities to take part in Challenge Day, a day-long anti-bullying program meant to bring to the forefront all the deeply personal things that participants have in common, all while celebrating their diversity and inspiring them to dismantle the structure that causes these differences to drive them apart.

Being middle schoolers — 11-, 12-, and 13-year-olds in the thick of maintaining childhood friendships, facing new encounters, and experiencing puberty — there was a wide range of expectations for the event and the reactions throughout it. Many students saw the day solely as an opportunity to be able to skip school, while several of us read the material given to us with our permission slips and at least vaguely understood that our emotions — and our beliefs — would be tested.

The first time I did Challenge Day was in sixth grade, and at first, my primary concern was that my best friend and had been separated, relegated to participating on different days. But when the 100 or so of us entered the gym, whose windows had been blacked out to avoid any interruptions from the other 300 students on campus, the specially-trained Challenge Day leaders made every opportunity to pull us out of our comfort zones right away. Suddenly, we were sprinting within a massive circle of chairs, instructed to find a new seat, and found ourselves sitting between two people we’d never met to whom we would then have to introduce ourselves.

Eventually, we split into small groups of 6 or 7 — similarly randomly assigned, paired with a parent volunteer — and talked more candidly about our worries, how we truly felt going to school every day, and even our personal tragedies. The point here was to prove that we were able to open up to a group of strangers following all of the icebreaker activities we’d completed. And, from what my friend had told me after completing her Challenge Day the previous day, this portion of the day was where everyone started crying. While a good number of the students who were just happy to have the day off from school didn’t take this part seriously, I really wanted to – and luckily, both times, my group was just as keen.

I don’t much remember what I shared at that first Challenge Day, but in eighth grade I was dealing with both that friend’s sudden move to a school two hours away and the death of my hamster, my first real pet, and I felt I had a lot to talk about. The students in my group were very receptive to what I had to say, and one even took me aside after we moved on from the small group activities and complimented my candidness, saying I was very brave to cry for my friend and my pet.

Unfortunately, the parent volunteer in our group was less sympathetic. On the Challenge Day website, it states that volunteers receive a quick overview of the day before students arrive, and that’s it. Sadly, you can’t teach sympathy in half an hour. When I almost immediately starting sobbing about my troubles and was met with kindness by my fellow middle school-aged group members, this woman promptly interrupted me.

“Are you sure you’re not just getting caught up in the emotions, sweetheart?” she asked, her attempted pleasantness pierced by skepticism. “At your age, you’re too old to be crying about hamsters and one lost friend. There are more hamsters, and there are more friends.”

What could I do? I was a shy, insecure 13-year-old who was clearly overwhelmed by my own hardships — albeit comparatively minute to what some members of the group had shared — and all this woman could do was point out my perceived weaknesses and trivialize feelings I thought were legitimate and sincere. So I gave in. I nodded.

“Mm-hmm,” she confirmed, her face lit up in victory. “You need to learn to be stronger. That’s what today is all about. Let’s move on to someone else.”

Of course, because of the quiet, non-confrontational person I was — and still, only 13, barely beginning to emotionally mature — I let her words sink in. I entirely believed that what I had shared was completely out of line, and rebuked myself for crying at all. Since early childhood, I was the type of person who cried whenever I felt worried or insecure, and this woman, in just a few sentences, had made me so worried and so insecure that I didn’t want to cry anymore.

For me, Challenge Day in sixth grade was exciting. Because my school had only opened that year, even the seventh- and eighth-graders who transferred from the middle school across town were open to making new friends, and it was a wholly positive experience. But after Challenge Day in eighth grade, I wondered if I’d become too comfortable being openly emotional two years before. And, not to place the entirety of the blame on this one woman’s speech, since I clearly had many reasons to feel down, eighth grade was when I first recognized that I might be depressed. Even still, I don’t think I should have had to say, “Look, lady, I appreciate your fake concern, but I’m clinically depressed” to avoid any further insult.

I know so many people whose feelings were invalidated as kids simply because, as kids, many of them just hadn’t been alive long enough to experience the type of pain that adults have. (And even if they have, the emotional differences inherent in both parties for the exact same tragedy or other life change can be profound.) When adults don’t understand that comparing the plights of a single 13-year-old to their own — or anyone’s — is completely unfair, their words and actions can quickly devolve into invalidation and, sometimes, abuse.

During that second Challenge Day, the main message conveyed by the leaders was beyond my attention. I thought I’d come away with the advice to not cry unless it was about something really important, and to “be stronger” — which was completely abstract to me at the time. (It still is, honestly. Is there a checklist I have to fill out to determine if I’m “strong” enough to…what? Be a living, appropriately emotional person? I mean, evidently not.)

I don’t want adults to be rude to kids who are expressing emotions of any kind, even if it’s about something they don’t think is worth expending energy to worry about. Children and teenagers have vastly different capacities to internalize the world around them compared to adults, and that doesn’t make their reactions to hardships wrong or invalid. We should all know this, having been kids ourselves, but obviously we don’t.

When adults can’t understand a world in which a hamster’s death is, for one day, the most important thing, perhaps the sole hardship on a child’s mind, then we don’t deserve their innocent happiness at learning on their own that there are, in fact, more hamsters.

If we can’t handle children’s emotions at their worst — the worst “worst” they’ve ever experienced — to what fate are we dooming them when the things they don’t talk about, their depression and abuse and appropriately hard hardships that are allowed to challenge their strength, get bad enough for us to care?

Takeaway: Let kids feel their feelings when they’re kids so they have a healthy relationship with their emotions as adults. (Please.)

#recess

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hope-for-olicity · 6 years ago

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Fabulous Olicity Fanfic Friday - March 22nd, 2019

Happy Friday! So this is my attempt to both thank awesome fanfic writers for their amazing work and offer my recommendations to anyone who is interested. Here are the fantastic fanfic stories I read this week! They are posted in the order I read them. This and all previous Fabulous Olicity Fanfic posts can be found on my blog.

Alone in the World multi-chapter Complete by @laxit21 - Oliver and Felicity are trapped in the bunker when Chase sets off an EMP. They emerge hours later to find that the world has changed drastically in those few hours they were trapped.Ohttps://archiveofourown.org/works/17991881/chapters/42501815

The Fan multi-chapter WIP by @leuska - For the past couple of months, Felicity Smoak, previous child star known to the world through her alter ego Lisy the Tech Whiz, who ended her career and her growing popularity at the age of thirteen rather abruptly, has sporadically received disturbing notes and gifts in her mail. Police believe the notes to be just little tokens of appreciation by a former fan. Despite having left the spotlight over a decade ago and living in anonymity since, the fan mail keeps coming, increasing in frequency as well as intensity. The last drop is when Felicity receives another letter with a love note. A scary, ominous note. A note written in human blood.FBI director Amanda Waller tasks her best Agent to the case. Oliver Queen, a criminal profiler, is currently working on a special task force formed between SCPD and FBI to catch a man dubbed the Start City Slasher, who has murdered at least three young women in the past nine months. Agent Queen is not thrilled with the prospect of holding a former princess’ hand through her problem with a simple stalker while a serial killer is still at large. However, once meeting her, Oliver finds there is nothing easy or simple about Felicity Smoak as their worlds start to intertwine. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17726573/chapters/41820368

Re-Airrow 2x20 by @lostolicityscenes - A short Felicity and Sara scene - a conversation that in my alternate universe may have played a part in Sara breaking up with Oliver, because he ‘needed to be with someone who could harness the light inside of him,’ and leaving town at the end of the episode. https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/183389153219/re-airrow-2x20

Will Fate Allow? multi-chapter WIP by @mindramblingsfics - Seeing her parent's marriage dissolve at a young age made Felicity yearn for a healthy marriage of her own. She thought she'd finally found what she was looking for when Billy Malone showed up offering her what her heart desired. She thought she was happy and had everything she could want, but things began to unravel. Slowly she turned to someone who had become an unparalleled constant in her life...Oliver Queen. Oliver and Felicity are the definition of polar opposites. He is the mob boss that strikes fear in the hearts many, while she is seen as the sweet girl next door, but there is more to both of them underneath the surface. Along the way, they become connected to one another leading to their lives being intertwined forever. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16521596/chapters/38699951

With the Speed of an Arrow multi-chapter WIP by @academyofshipping - Oliver Queen’s elite and silver-spoon life has taken some blows in the past few years, but he is still the carefree billionaire everyone knows of and loves. When his role in the family business is in jeopardy and he is introduced to a motley of new people, his status quo is threatened. With a changed perspective, Oliver realizes his feeling for his best friend and anchor-in-life, Felicity Smoak, may be more than just platonic. OR A modern adaption of Jane Austen’s Emma with a gender swap* and no island. *Knowing that gender is not binary https://archiveofourown.org/works/16559846/chapters/38799857

Pieces of Always multi-chapter WIP by @so-caffeinated and @dust2dust34 - Life continues after Forever is Composed of Nows. Ongoing non-linear collection of family moments for the Queens. http://archiveofourown.org/works/8220479/chapters/18840356

seemingly impossible (but not untrue) multi-chapter WIP by @alexiablackbriar13 - Young genius historian Dr Felicity Smoak unknowingly and accidentally calls up a bewitched alchemical manuscript within the Oxford Bodleian Libraries - a book that has been lost for centuries. Descended from an old and distinguished line of witches, Felicity wants nothing to do with magic, despite her unruly and powerful abilities. But her discovery of Ashmole 782 sets the world of creatures stirring; with a mystery afoot and new, dangerous magical abilities manifesting for her to navigate, she is approached by the enigmatic vampire biochemist Professor Oliver Queen, who seems to have a deep interest in both the manuscript… and her. Based on A Discovery of Witches by Deborah Harkness. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16224353/chapters/37923743

Time for a Story multi-chapter WIP by @smkkbert - This fic shows Olicity and their life as a (married) couple with family. Although Olicity (and their kids) are the protagonists, other characters of Arrow and Flash make appearances. YOU NEED THIS STORY IN YOUR LIFE. https://archiveofourown.org/works/3912157/chapters/8757172

Lonely With You multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow - Felicity meets Oliver at a frat party in college and interrupts him from making a big mistake. Oliver is intrigued by the dark haired, beautiful genius with a tough exterior. Felicity is charmed by the broody jock that everyone seems to be a little bit afraid of. Feelings, angst, fluff, and all that goooooood stuff. College AU because it's the week to celebrate this trope on tumblr with our Trope-tastic Awards ;) https://archiveofourown.org/works/15706710/chapters/36505428

One Step Ahead multi-chapter WIP by @stephswims - Felicity Acerbi is married to esteemed Italian mob boss. Married after a failed business deal with her father, she is forced into a life decided for her. That is until a new bodyguard is hired. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16959333/chapters/39855036

Re-airrow 2x21 by @lostolicityscenes - A very short Oliver scene taking place prior to the clip above. When Diggle and Felicity track Oliver down at his secret lair. https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/183458110841/re-airrow-2x21

Hard To Find Love multi-chapter WIP by Mellowyellowdiamonds - Through a tragic twist of fate Felicity finds herself left with an orphaned young William Clayton. Keeping her promise to her friend, Felicity raises William diligently, loving him as if he were her own child, only to have Moira Queen storm into their lives several years later demanding custody of her grandson. Locked in a war with Moira Queen, things get complicated when Felicity finds herself developing unwanted feelings for William's biological father, Oliver Queen. At the same time she must try to manage her meddling 13 year old son, who has it in his head that if Felicity would just cooperate and fall for his father, everything would be right in the world. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15941786/chapters/37173917

| ONE | (Oliver the Footballer) multi-chapter WIP @someonesaidcake - Felicity Smoak had a plan; to save enough money to kick her monotonous job and start up the company of her dreams. She made good plans, solid plans, attainable plans. He was never part of her plan. His name was Oliver Queen, the reclusive Brazilian football star with a broken smile and a story to tell. He'd never planned on her either. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15005402/chapters/34779542

And So The Adventure Begins multi-chapter WIP by @mindramblingsfics - Felicity spent her first year of college focused solely on her studies. In year two, with the convincing of her best friends Iris and Sara, she lets her hair down a bit. Oliver spent his first year partying with his wingman Tommy and living up to the status that came with his last name. He realizes he should buckle down focus on the most important part: actual school. Oliver and Felicity meet, and even though they are on different ends of the spectrum, they don't realize that they can each bring out hidden parts of one another. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15800025/chapters/36771018

Home To You multi-chapter WIP by @the-shy-and-anxious-fangirl - Oliver Queen has never done what his family expected of him. He took a gap year after high school instead of going to college right away. He quit his fraternity sophomore year to join the student newspaper, switching his major from business to journalism. He became a photojournalist for a wire service instead of taking a place at Queen Consolidated. He went missing after six months instead of coming home for his sister’s twenty-first birthday. He survived five years of captivity in a war zone when everyone thought he was dead. He came home. But home didn’t have a place for him in it anymore. His parents were both dead, casualties of their own mistakes and a city they had turned against them. His sister was all grown up, the CEO of Queen Consolidated with a fiancé and a dog and a life of her own. Oliver didn’t belong in his old life, but there was nowhere else for him to go. He was a man without a home, without any way of finding one, until he stopped by the IT department of his sister’s company to get files off an old, battered memory card, and found a woman with curly blonde hair and bright, intelligent eyes chewing on a bright red pen and swearing at a computer screen. https://archiveofourown.org/works/12613188/chapters/28734552

Do You Remember multi-chapter WIP by @smkkbert - Eight years after Oliver and Felicity became teenage parents, they have everything they could have ever hoped for and more. They have a good life in a nice house. Their marriage is happy, and a second baby is on its way. The calm they have settled in is interrupted abruptly when a stalker starts terrorizing Felicity. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17409059/chapters/40978307

(Don't) Let Me Go multi-chapter WIP by @emmilynestill - Felicity told him to let her go, but even when Oliver tried, it didn’t seem to be something he was capable of. In the end, there would be nothing in the world Felicity was more grateful for. Weaving in and out of the final four episodes of Season 5 and beyond, follow Oliver and Felicity’s emotional journey back to one another, one step at a time. http://archiveofourown.org/works/11591223/chapters/26051715

From Somewhere Within multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow - Their connection has always felt natural to them, safe and secure. But others tend to fear what they don’t understand, and as far as their enemies are concerned, the world isn’t ready to accept two people who can know each other the way that Oliver and Felicity do. https://archiveofourown.org/works/16009244/chapters/37356257

Overwatch multi-chapter WIP by @it-was-a-red-heeler - A burglary attempt convinces the Mayor of Starling City to hire Smoak Technologies to strengthen his security. But between the sassy AI watching him 24/7 and the personal trainer with his own reasons to kill him, Oliver may wish he’d stuck with his baseball bat for protection. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17500640/chapters/41221793

Providence multi-chapter WIP by @so-caffeinated - Will Queen has struggled in silence in the year since he was shot. But when a shadowy crime lord known as Domino targets the only woman Will’s ever truly loved, fate forces him to confront his demons in ways he never could have imagined… Whether he wants to or not. Amelia Prescott has fought to take control of her life since learning two years ago that her personal and professional worlds were manipulated by others. But nothing can prepare her for just how hard she'll have to fight to set her own course, especially when her heart belongs to a damaged man and a crime lord threatens her every professional move... And her life. Destiny brings them together, but as chaos reigns and personal demons haunt Will and Amelia both, it may also threaten to tear them apart. https://archiveofourown.org/works/17919056/chapters/42308753

Forever I'm Yours (Forever I do) (Season 7B) by @dust2dust34 - Season 7B. Oliver hid Felicity’s chocolates and she is not happy about it. https://archiveofourown.org/works/15714660/chapters/42995150

Re-Airrow 2x22 by @lostolicityscenes - I was hesitant to write a scene for this episode because it’s so tightly action packed and the Olicity scenes were perfect. What could I possibly add to them? I decided to slot a short scene in after the hug above for two reasons; because I needed to wrap up my little subplot of Felicity’s headaches (all based off the above gif and Emily always touching her head towards the end of the season) and because I wanted to build a case for Oliver’s willingness to let Felicity handle Slade. https://lostolicityscenes.tumblr.com/post/183593885946/re-airrow-2x22

Run to the Water multi-chapter Complete by @someonesaidcake - The year is 1912, Oliver was 9 and far too old to be babysitting that nonsensical girl Felicity whose parents owned the cattle ranch where his parents worked and lived, but she won him over with oat and raisin biscuits and soon became his little blonde sidekick...with a completely unrequited crush on him. Years later she returns from boarding school and more than bush fires ignite in the changing times.... https://archiveofourown.org/works/7455738/chapters/16942293

Kerosene and Desire multi-chapter WIP by @smoaking-greenarrow - An Olicity Notebook AU with a darker twist. https://archiveofourown.org/works/18082427/chapters/42741014

// @emmaamelia95 // @mel-loves-all // @oliverfel4 // @green-arrows-of-karamel // @coal000 // @miriam1779 // @memcjo// @captainolicitysbedroom // @tdgal1 // @spaztronautwriter // @lalawo1// @quiveringbunny // @wrongshipper // @thebookjumper // @vaelisamaza // @myhauntedblacksoul // @lovelycssefan // @laurabelle2930 //

#FabulousOlicityFanficFriday #olicity fanfiction #fic recs

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astormyknight · 5 years ago

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How I came out, Multiple Experiences.

The first person I came out to is dead.

They have been for a long time. We lost her in Year 12 of High School or maybe it was when we were year 11. I just remember I was around 16. It was pretty traumatic for a lot of us. I can’t remember exactly when it happened, like what time of year except it was sometime during either the end of the year or middle of the year (even that is hazy), it was ten years ago or so now.

We weren’t super close, like we didn't hang out on weekends or after school or anything (my parents being super strict religious types who didn’t let me go into town unless it was to the library right up until I was in my last year/sort of learning how to drive).

But right around when I was becoming aware of my sexuality, or rather why I wasn’t ‘normal’ (second year of senior high, like...2008-9 or something), we’d been writing letters to each other and talking heaps at lunch and in whatever class we shared (I think it was social studies or classics). She felt bad for me because I was such a fucking nerd, and super socially awkward and a little bit chubby/super KY(空気読めない ) - I had friends, but at the time I was becoming more and more uncomfortable hanging out because they were super religious, made me feel like shit sometimes (except the other Hannah who was and still is cool) because my family were new to the church and I was (still am) a little...weird??? I was slowly becoming closer with the kids I took the bus part of the way home with/was in rowing with and their friends, but she kind of noticed how sheltered I was and was kind about showing me it was ok to open up, ask questions and try new things I guess.

ANYWAY my Mum had a bad opinion of her, but she was one of the most amazing people who went out of her way to make me see myself as a person and not a monster/demon from hell destined to return, and I couldn’t help her do the same, our situations were so different, I dunno, life is a bitch and it weighs down the best people. She made some bad choices as teenagers do, but her family wasn't really there for her either. ((My Mum scoffed at her and in earshot one day when she came to pick me up about a month or two before the incident and said to me that she wasn’t the sort of friend I wanted, and that she was destined to go nowhere (and in my first real act of defiance I stood up for her, called her hypocritical, and continued to write letters.))

I dunno why but this time of year I always have really shitty dreams about that time, about the last time I kind of awkwardly brushed off her hug goodbye (like I always did, I hated and still do hate, physical affection) and how I wish I’d reciprocated even just a little. Not being able to go to her memorial because my Mum still didn’t like her/her own parents were dicks/I wasn’t in her super close circle of friends. I know I couldn’t have done more than I did, even with some of the content in the letters, I didn’t know what she was going through exactly, I didn’t really GET how bad things were for her. I thought she was going to be able to tough shit out and make her break eventually, but yeah. Life is rough, teenagers go through shit, and yeah. I’ve been dreaming lately, and it sucks ass. I always have this guilt about my grief because I wasn’t in her inner circle, but to me she was the only person really I trusted at that time with one of my “darkest” secrets.

The second person I came out to was one of the kids I rode the bus home with who is a total no bullshit person. To this day, I am slightly scared of her, but in the best way. She told it like it was. Super awesome and still is, I’m gutted I missed the opportunity to catch up over winter last year when I was in England. I’d borrowed a French CD from her as I was trying to break my weeb phase and try music from other places, and she was worried about the racy cover, the torso of a naked woman (Indochine’s Paradize). MY DUMB ASS TEXTED BACK AND WAS LIKE...DUDE, I’M A LESBIAN...or some stupid shit like that (what a way to come out, over some pervy CD cover....gods I was/am dumb). I don’t think she really knew how to handle it, like it was SUPER out of left field, and like yeah. I don’t really remember what happened after that, she never treated me any different, she asked a lot of really sensible questions, and was patient with me. I think this was in our final year of high school, but it could have been towards the end of year our second year.

I told her best friend at the time shortly after that, and she was kinda weird about it, lol, but like in her own way...Like in a lot of ways I think she’d guessed (I think a lot of my peers had guessed before me, in typical useless lesbian fashion) because I would always say stuff like “If my friend was gay, that’d be ok, so long as they didn’t try anything on me...” “Love the sinner, hate the sin....” ect. ect. This was right around the time when Gay Marriage was in the news for one reason or another, roughly around three years or so before it became legal in New Zealand. So that was a ride. I still don’t know how the whole thing didn't get blown up by her and she didn’t tell the rest of our peers (if she did, they kept it quite and were really respectful, waited for me to tell them). I was terrified of my family or the teachers finding out too...for a little bit anyway, and then towards the end of Year 13 I think I came out to everyone (except my family) and just was like fuck it, if people have a problem with it, I’ll just punch them/shout at them and then go cry in the toilets or something - but I didn’t need to because for whatever reason most of my year group were really cool about it!

There were a few people in between then though.

For some reason I was in a car with a fellow self proclaimed nerd some time late at night driving somewhere in town (to or from a movie, or potentially ball lessons or something?Maybe even something to do with a one year memorial to above mentioned friend, I REALLY can’t remember.) This person was also one of the people I felt the least judged around, like I’d say a lot of dumb shit or nerd out about something and they’d either laugh, give me a look that was like... you weirdo....but never treated me any different. I think at this point I was like... .I don’t remember how it came up, but I was like...please don’t crash, but I think I like girls. And I think I also said how I’d told above two friends, but wasnt out to family because that would not be a fun time ect. I don’t remember much after the fact, but for me this was significant because baby gay me was sweet on her (don’t freak out if you’re reading this dude please, like I at this point I was still struggling with the whole admiration vs romantic interest thing. I thought you were super straight, didn’t want to take/ruin any friendship we had for granted, wasn’t like really interested in dating anyone even though in highs school that wasnt and option anyway ect...I thought/think you are cute, have a good sense of humor, great taste in books and are very kind and intelligent, qualities that I really respect and value in all my friends). She’s a cool kid, probably the one who had the closest interests to me out of that whole group in terms of reading taste and interest in Japanese stuff. I AM SO SORRY. SO. SO SORRY I TOLD YOU WHILE YOU WERE DRIVING. My sense of self preservation at that/this time is obviously no-existent. Also cheers for not telling my Mum...she thought you were neat and I think she talked to you a bit about unrelated stuff (probably for you Halloween party??? occasionally at cycling, you were legit the only friend I’ve had that like, she approved of) at some point.

One of the more popular/well respected/super out of my social status girls and I were taking extra scholarship exams for biology and classics. She was super popular, super snobby, REALLY EMOTIONAL, weirdly open about the grossest stuff and also really beautiful. I was SUPER intimidated by her, and she like flat out asked me why I wasn’t interested in any of the guys I hung out with outside of school/never talked about any crushes on celebrities... again...Dude, I like girls I think... (I ALSO HAD A HUGE CRUSH ON MY MARRIED CLASSICAL HISTORY TEACHER. FUCK. MY. LIFE. Never told anybody at school though.) She was SHOOK. To her credit, she recovered quickly asked a bunch of questions and promised not to tell my parents. I think she told some of her other popular friends, who to their credit, didn’t treat me any different and didn’t out me to teachers or my parents. As mentioned, my peer group was surprisingly blase about stuff like that (probably owing to one of their own coming out of the closet at some point either at the same time/a while before me). I wasn’t exactly bullied for that, but I was picked on for other things (like my nerdiness, my weight, my quirky habbits, my loathing of all things feminine that I had to wear including my uniform, my lack of fashion sense, my scatterbrained-ness).

Another one of the more fiery kids was super cool about it too. She was always a bit much for me, and also the last person I expected to be one of the first people to get married/partnered up and have a house/kid on the way. She was probably the one who grilled me the most on everything. Because until this point I was one of the SUPER religious kids, with SUPER traditional parents.

Once I hit Uni, I went full baby gay. Came out to my room-mates right away. No problems there. Came out to friends I made right away. Came out to pretty much everyone I met and was bloody obnoxious about it. How I didn’t accidently out myself to family until like...third year Uni I HAVE NO IDEA.

At this point I was “seeing” someone from online, who halfway through third semester of my first year was cheating with a dude from Auzzie. I got so upset I actually went propper drinking after one of our college functions and broke down. I came out to my parents then, at the end of year, right before final exams, I wrote a drunk email - got my very patient older flatmate to check it (she was an insomniac, and still awake at 3am watching shitty tv and studying). She made me wait until at least 7am and a cat nap/a shit ton of water and sobering up and a final read through before I clicked send.

My Mum must have read it at like, 8am, because I got an email right around 10am and it went down like a ton of bricks. Bible verses and pleas to get help and they drove up and saw me to lecture me the next week, we had a fight of sorts, in public, but not like a super big one, just one where Dad didn’t talk for me the whole summer after that (I went home against my better judgment to work and not pay rent...I relied on them for money during Uni, and have mixed feelings about that, I am grateful they still gave me the opportunities they did, but somewhat bitter because they don’t LISTEN to anything I say that challenges what they believe when I had/have to consider and listen to what they believe) and then not until like...the middle of the next year? Yeah, it was a wild ride.

We still are very tense with each other and fight about a lot of stuff, they get progressively more racist/homophobic every year but then they have lulls where we don`t talk about stuff of that vein and it’s almost like we’re a family again? My brother is mostly cool, he’s not super on board with gender diversity, but he’s been doing some reading recently and at least uses my preferred pronouns and name most of the time...

Only some of the extended family know, basically one family of cousins on my Dads side (plus their parents), and only one of the girls on my Mums plus her parents who are awesome (they offered to have me come stay with them and help out if my family booted me). I haven’t said anything to the grandparents. I actually outed myself accidentally to my cousin on my Dads side in third year, at a friends place (I thought I outed her, accidentally, then remembered....shit, she’s out to everyone, I’m only out to friends...) - she was in a dorm together and asked how I knew my friend. “Oh, we both go to the same LGBTQAI+ support group...” I say. “Fuck....” I say. “Dammit, I owe Sarah (older cousin) $50″ she texts me after she breezes out the door to some party.

The one almost family member I nearly told died before I could come clean. Shortly after I came out to my parents, a family friend of ours, who my parents knew through cycling, got really aggressive cancer. She was gone by mid-way through my second year in July. I’ve been dreaming about her too recently, I always dream about the two of them this time of year. I think Nic knew, she would always talk about stuff with me that made me feel super supported and loved. I miss her, and regret this the most.

- So yeah. TLDR; I HAVE BEEN HAVING SAD DREAMS. I am avoiding sleeping even though I need to be up early to prove to my bank that I AM NOT DOING MONEY FRAUD BECAUSE I AM A FOREIGNER I DAMN WELL LIVE AND WORK HERE AND HAVE A STUDENT LOAN!

#tw death #tw suicude #internalized homophobia #I went to an all girls school from year 7 to year 13 #I grew up with super religious parents

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stowawayproductions-blog · 6 years ago

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The Wife vs Colette vs Lizzie: We Run the World

Written 10/15/18

Glenn Close, Keira Knightly, Kristen Stewart, Chloe Sevigny. I wouldn’t want to meet any of these women in a dark alley, at least not if I’m an arrogant man who’s trying to run their lives.

Within the last two weeks, all three of these powerhouse feminist rants made their way into the Darkside Cinema (our local indie theater in Corvallis, Oregon. You know the one, hidden on top of a bookstore, up two flights of stairs, with the slogan “We Suck Less” scrawled across the olds-mobile style drinks cooler). At a glance, none of them are in my top five of the year, probably not even my top ten, but what they say together elevates them to something worth writing about.

I saw Lizzie first. My fiancee and I went in expecting poetry and got…well, not poetry. He was harder on it than I, tearing to bits its drab writing and hazy narrative. I felt defensive, recognizing the attempt at a feminist rallying cry, and wanting to support the effort even if the product fell short. Kristin Stewart amazes of course, bringing a realistic attitude to the otherwise fantastical cast of characters. Jamie Sheridan is basic, Dennis O’Hare is unnecessarily slimy, and even Chloe Sevigny performs below her talents with a flattened version of what this mysterious character could have become. Everyone else could be replaced with cardboard cutouts and probably deliver their lines with equal fervor. Stewart, however, shines like the sun. She’s meek, defenseless, and defeated. Showing in her emotional climax the level to which women have been beaten into submission; expecting rape, expecting blame, expecting ownership. The mix of determination and apathy is complex and fascinating, giving Stewart the opportunity to use all her skills and defining her career to this point. I cannot wait to see what she brings us next.

Next I saw The Wife. I went solo to this one, and I’m glad I did. I love my fiancee, but there are some stories that we as women have to experience alone, if for no other reason than to be able to sit in a dark theater and quietly hate men without feeling the need to say to the person sitting next to us “well except you dear”; and my goodness, thank you Jonathan Pryce for being willing to be a punching bag for all our pent up aggression. Cathartic and thoughtful, Glenn Close delivers a magnum opus for all women who feel underappreciated next to men in our field who are, often…okay, for the sake of this piece, who are USUALLY not as talented as we are. I’d also like to add that while working the register at said local theater (yes I work there now, definite pay drop but huge moral promotion), The Wife received mixed reviews from patrons exiting, however everyone who didn’t like it happened to be, you guessed it, a middle aged man. One man told me why he didn’t like it, saying that the characters were unrealistic and the story unbelievable: “That would never happen in this day and age”, “A woman who’s supposed to be so intelligent and in tune with her emotions would have handled that situation better”. Guess what sir who-I’m-not-allowed-to-yell-at-because-you’re-a-customer, this would ABSOLUTELY happen in this day and age, and normal humans who are just trying to fucking survive would ABSOLUTELY handle it that way. It’s hard to get into this without spoiling the plot, but for those of us who have had the honor of witnessing this beautiful story, Joan (Close) is a disturbingly accurate vessel for our thoughts and feelings on ambition, devotion, and making it through the day as a second class citizen. The whole cast is splendid, the story moving, and the message bone-shaking, forcing me into an existential crisis, wondering if I even culturally have the potential to ever be sat next to equals, or if I will always be in a class below, paired up with men who are less than me but seen as equal because the “real” men are at the other table making Birdman and Moonlight and winning all the things. But I digress. As I did for an entire night. Moving on.

Lastly I saw Colette. Ah Keira Knightly, I wanted to be you as a little girl watching Pirates of the Caribbean, and I want to be you today as a grown woman trying to figure out what being creative and independent really means. A beautifully rendered ode to classic filmmaking, Colette rises from its traditional format to challenge the heavyweight dramas of today. Its story is elegant, its writing is soft, is message is clear, and Keira Knightly reminds us all why being a woman is not something to overcome but something of which we are god damn proud. With hints of sexual freedom and trans rights that don’t overshadow the central theme, we’re privileged to observe three dimensional characters fraught with believable and relatable issues. Unlike Stewart and Sevigny in the above-mentioned lesbian period piece, Knightly crackles with chemistry with not one, not two, but THREE of her female dalliances, making the sex scenes not only enjoyable (this coming from someone who has never seen a sex scene that I consider necessary) but enlightening to the story and character.

To (finally) get back to my original point: I am honored to be living in a time when I can see these three movies back to back, and more-so when I can write about these movies and not be dismissed as just a “woman writer”, and these women, some real and some fictional, have made this reality possible. It is a bit of a shame that the directors of these films are Bjorn Runge, Craig William Macneill, and Wash Westmoreland (see an ironic pattern?), but regardless of that, these films are a one-two-three punch at a world that has changed so much in the direction of inclusion, but still has so far to go. Watch out boys, we’re coming to take our stage and we’ve got talent, determination, and years of pent up rage on our side. Next step: hand over the camera and let us tell our own stories.

“The hand that holds the pen writes history” — Colette, 2018

Ratings: Lizzie — Disappointing; in my bottom 2 of 2018. The Wife — Great; in my top 10 of 2018. Colette — Great; in my top 10 of 2018.

Great 6) Sorry to Bother You 7) The Wife 8) Colette 9) How to Talk to Girls at Parties 10) The Death of Stalin 11) Eighth Grade 12) Love, Simon 13) RBG 14) The Old Man and the Gun 15) Bad Times at the El Royale 16) Lean On Pete 17) You Were Never Really Here 18) Crazy Rich Asians

Good 19) BlackkKlansman 20) First Reformed 21) First Man 22) A Quiet Place 23) Annihilation 24) Blaze 25) Tag 26) The Miseducation of Cameron Post 27) The Hate U Give 28) Hereditary 29) Avengers: Infinity War 30) Black Panther 31) Tully 32) Searching 33) Mandy

Some Issues 34) Halloween 35) A Star Is Born 36) The Spy Who Dumped Me 37) Disobedience 38) Pick of the Litter 39) Ready Player One 40) A Simple Favor

Disappointing 41) Lizzie 42) The Party

youtube

#film #review #criticism #feminism #glenn close #kristen stewart #chloe sevigny #keira knightley #lizzie #colette #the wife #movies #independent film #women

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mentallyfxed · 2 years ago

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What if’s 🤔

You’re at a bar when the one person you don’t want to see walks in. Who are they? How do you react? To be honest, I will finish my drink and walk the other way, I don't want to get into it in the middle of a bar, not the place nor the time.

How would you react if you were catcalled? I would say thank you and then flash them my wedding band, it is flattering but I don't want to deal with that.

How would you react if you saw a friend who owes you money spending frivolously? I would go up to them and say, "I see you got money now, where is the money that you owe me?"

Your friends are speaking unfairly about a mutual friend. Do you speak up? Nah, not my battle to fight.

How would you react if you witnessed a victimless crime? I would go over to them because I am an EMT and assess the situation and then call for backup if need be.

What would you do if someone brought up your biggest insecurity in front of a crowd of strangers? That happened already, and it was the best thing that ever happened to me, I could finally marry my husband.

How would you respond to an apology from somebody you still can’t forgive? I can forgive but I won't forget anything.

How would you break up with someone? I would send them roses, and a note saying that it was me and not them.

If you won the lottery, how would it change your life? Truthfully it probably won't because I never had money so I really don't want it nor need it.

Would you trade ten years of your life to be richer? No thank you I do not want to be 38 sooner.

How about to be more beautiful? My husband seems to like the way I look so no.

More intelligent? I would think that I'm smart if I can pass the EMT exam.

Reflecting on the past ⏳

What childhood memory still makes your toes curl? Probably my dad finding my gay porn in my room when I was 13 and sending me to a conversion camp.

What memory makes you swell with pride? Marrying Nathaniel.

If you could relive one day of your life without changing anything that happened, which day would you choose. How I met Nathaniel. That is a day that I will always remember.

What about if you could change the course of events? Nope, I would never even with my father beating me.

Who were you closest to as a child? My younger sister.

What’s something you quit, that you now regret giving up on? Fireball, I don't like drinking much anymore.

What was the best party you ever went to? Probably the surprise party that Nathaniel and I threw for our daughter.

Relationships 💞

Who was the first person to break your heart? Probably my first boyfriend Zach it didn't end well, I saw him kissing my older sister and now they are married.

Who was the last? Nathaniel

How well would you handle a long-distance relationship? I mean I did it when I was in jail so fine.

How would you feel after a one-night stand? Had many of them. Don't care.

Have you ever kept someone in your life who you didn’t get along with — for example, a friend you disliked or argued with? Why did you avoid saying goodbye? Yeah Zach I kinda have to as he is my brother in law

How would your best friend describe you? Oh Emilio, he would call me a crazy fucker.

How would your romantic partner describe you? See the above, the same way.

How would your boss describe you? That I am the most dedicated worker on the force.

How would your parents describe you? They disowned me so they probably would call me the devil.

How would your worst enemy describe you? My worst enemy is my father so he would call me the devil.

Habits and routines ✔️

What do you think about in the shower? How come we can't see our breath all of the time.

Do you stay up late or wake up early? It depends on my schedule it varies from week to week.

What do you do if you can’t sleep? Watch Shameless or Cory ASMR on Tik Tok.

Who or what do you turn to when you’re upset? My daughter.

Are you more of a text person or a phone call person? Why? Text. It is easier to answer people when I am on a call.

What does your morning routine look like? Get up, shit, shower, shave and brush my teeth.

The good, the bad, the ugly… 💀

What’s the worst thing you’ve ever wished on somebody (and who was it)? That scorpions would crawl up their asshole and die. And it was my father.

When was the last time you lied? What made you do it? I lied to my daughter and told her that my parents were on a long vacation, even though they don't know that she exists, it is easier that way.

Is there somebody you haven’t been able to forgive? What did they do? Do you want to forgive them? My mom and dad for disowning me for being gay.

Can you lie easily? Duh.

Do you handle rejection well? Eh, sometimes.

Have you ever done something illegal? Yeah, I give drugs to people that need them without a prescription

Are you more likely to ask for permission or forgiveness? Forgiveness.

What terrible thing have you done that you never thought you would do? Kill someone during the job, because they asked me to, they didn't want to live anymore.

What criticism would your worst enemy would make of you, that you secretly agree with? That I'm fucking crazy, and it is true sometimes I let the bipolar disorder take over.

Miscellaneous✨

If you could erase one movie from existence, what would it be? Paper Towns it was fucking horrible.

What’s the weirdest job you would be willing to do? I'm an EMT so I have done and seen some weird fucking shit.

What’s a job you would never consider, no matter how good the pay? Mayor. Hate politics.

How do you feel in large groups versus small ones? I'd rather be in a large group.

Who was the last person you obsessively stalked on social media? Tom Welling.

What was the last book you read? Did you like it? Why or why not? UnSweetined--the shit that Jodie Sweetin went through is so sad, I feel so sorry for her.

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dibidibidismol · 6 years ago

Text

For the Anon who wanted me to answer all the questions: I hope you're happy.

— 1. Who was the last person you held hands with?

A Baby named orlo

2. Are you outgoing or shy?

Depends on the situation

3. Who are you looking forward to seeing?

My bestest friend and I have a shopping date soon!

4. Are you easy to get along with?

Probably not. I dunno.

5. If you were drunk would the person you like take care of you?

Yeah, probably.

6. What kind of people are you attracted to?

People who use she/her pronouns.

7. Do you think you’ll be in a relationship two months from now?

Probably not.

8. Who from the opposite gender is on your mind?

Byun Baekhyun.

9. Does talking about sex make you uncomfortable?

No.

10. Who was the last person you had a deep conversation with?

A group of close friends.

11. What does the most recent text that you sent say?

“Great!”

12. What are your 5 favorite songs right now?

Expect by Girls Day

Eternity by VIXX

Tried to Walk by B1A4

Sorry by The Rose

Closer by Oh My Girl

13. Do you like it when people play with your hair?

So long as they don't tangle it.

14. Do you believe in luck and miracles?

I believe in chance.

15. What good thing happened this summer?

I got a scholarship to a programme I applied for! Met some new friends!

16. Would you kiss the last person you kissed again?

Hell yeah. A sweet baby gave me a smooch. Baby kisses are the best.

17. Do you think there is life on other planets?

I think it's a possibility.

18. Do you still talk to your first crush?

They moved far far away.

19. Do you like bubble baths?

Not really.

20. Do you like your neighbors?

Yeah, I babysit for them sometimes.

21. What are your bad habits?

I'm a sucker for my dog. I give him too many treats.

22. Where would you like to travel?

I'm not much of a traveler but I hear Portland Oregon is nice this time of year.

23. Do you have trust issues?

Probably?

24. Favorite part of your daily routine?

Afternoon Tumblr, Spotify and Tea time.

25. What part of your body are you most uncomfortable with?

My nose.

26. What do you do when you wake up?

Do my daily language learning sessions and wash my face.

27. Do you wish your skin was lighter or darker?

Lighter

28. Who are you most comfortable around?

My dog and/or friends.

29. Have any of your ex’s told you they regret breaking up?

Hahahahahahaha No.

30. Do you ever want to get married?

Yes.

31. If your hair long enough for a pony tail?

Yep.

32. Which celebrities would you have a threesome with?

I'm Demi, and don't know any celebrities.

33. Spell your name with your chin.

Done.

34. Do you play sports? What sports?

I've done a lot of basketball and a bit of track and field.

35. Would you rather live without TV or music?

I don't watch much T.V anyways.

36. Have you ever liked someone and never told them?

Story of my life.

37. What do you say during awkward silences?

When in doubt talk about the weather.

38. Describe your dream girl/guy?

She/her pronouns, actually reciprocates my affections, ace/demi friendly, not allergic to dogs, fluent in English, mildly intelligent, has a compatible sense of humor, not abusive.

39. What are your favorite stores to shop in?

Target, H-mart, Costco,

40. What do you want to do after high school?

College and Law school

41. Do you believe everyone deserves a second chance?

Not everyone, but most people.

42. If your being extremely quiet what does it mean?

I’m tired, thinking, or listening to music.

43. Do you smile at strangers?

Unless they're giving off bad vibes.

44. Trip to outer space or bottom of the ocean?

Outer space. I have a fear of the deep ocean.

45. What makes you get out of bed in the morning?

Devotion to my dog.

46. What are you paranoid about?

Germs, skin cancer, the deep ocean, my friends not loving themselves enough, everyone I know secretly disliking me, etc.

47. Have you ever been high?

On caffeine.

48. Have you ever been drunk?

On life.

49. Have you done anything recently that you hope nobody finds out about?

Yes. But I'm telling y'all anyways. (My dog was giving me sad eyes so I gave him a treat. And then another. And another. And another. So he ended up having like half the bag.)

50. What was the colour of the last hoodie you wore?

Black

51. Ever wished you were someone else?

Oh yeah. I've been jealous of many of my friends. They're all so attractive and funny and smart and I'm just kinda there.

52. One thing you wish you could change about yourself?

I wish I was more intelligent.

53. Favourite makeup brand?

I don't wear enough makeup to be able to differentiate between the brands.

54. Favourite store?

I like Eastern Asian grocery stores and Target.

55. Favourite blog?

My absolute favorite recently deleted, but my current favourites are @homosexo-l @ot-nine and @queerfictionwriter

56. Favourite colour?

Black, Crimson, and shades of purple.

57. Favourite food?

Right now I'm a big fan of carrots.

58. Last thing you ate?

An egg and roasted mushroom on a hamburger bun.

59. First thing you ate this morning?

Fruit and protein smoothie with whole grain toast.

60. Ever won a competition? For what?

I’ve won a couple basketball related things, a handful of academic awards, speech tournaments, and a few other things I'm forgetting.

61. Been suspended/expelled? For what?

When I was really young (7 or 8) I was suspended for taking the cookie sprinkles from the class cabinet and distributing them amongst our classmates.

62. Been arrested? For what?

Nope.

63. Ever been in love?

Yeah. It sucks.

64. Tell us the story of your first kiss?

We both leaned in. *smooch*

65. Are you hungry right now?

I'm hungry for Love and Affection.

66. Do you like your tumblr friends more than your real friends?

Nah. I love my real friends a lot.

67. Facebook or Twitter?

I don't have either.

68. Twitter or Tumblr.

Tumblr.

69. Are you watching tv right now?

I don't really watch TV.

70. Name of your bestfriend?

Mira

71. Craving something? What?

Craving love and affection. Also garlic eggplant.

72. What colour are your towels?

White.

72. How many pillows do you sleep with?

Four big ones plus eightish throw pillows plus five pillow pets.

73. Do you sleep with stuffed animals?

They have their own corner of my room.

74. How many stuffed animals do you think you have?

60? I have a ton of tiny ones.

75. Favourite animal?

My dog.

76. What colour is your underwear?

Black and Pink.

77. Chocolate or Vanilla?

Chocolate.

78. Favourite ice cream flavour?

Banana.

79. What colour shirt are you wearing?

Black.

80. What colour pants?

Black.

81. Favourite tv show?

I don't really watch TV but I like Ask us Anything/Knowing Bros and I liked Weekly Idol pre-current MC line up. I also like the Great British Baking show.

82. Favourite movie?

Tangled

83. Mean Girls or Mean Girls 2?

Mean girls? I haven't seen pt2.

84. Mean Girls or 21 Jump Street?

Mean girls? I haven't seen 21 jump street.

85. Favourite character from Mean Girls?

I don't really remember the characters, but I think I liked the teacher.

86. Favourite character from Finding Nemo?

Dory!

87. First person you talked to today?

My dog.

88. Last person you talked to today?

See above. :)

89. Name a person you hate?

Donald J. Trump

90. Name a person you love?

Amber Liu!

91. Is there anyone you want to punch in the face right now?

Donald J. Trump

92. In a fight with someone?

My mother.

93. How many sweatpants do you have?

94. How many sweaters/hoodies do you have?

95. Last movie you watched?

The Lorax

96. Favourite actress?

I dunno. I don't watch a lot of TV.

97. Favourite actor?

See above.

98. Do you tan a lot?

I would if I didn't stay inside so much or if I were to lay off the sunscreen.

99. Have any pets?

I have a dog. He’s the bestest. I could go on about him for hours...

100. How are you feeling?

I'm a little tired but my dog is here next to me so I'm good.

101. Do you type fast?

I'm alright on an actual keyboard, but touch screens slow me down a lot.

102. Do you regret anything from your past?

I regret having picked the wrong Duolingo chest and only getting one Lingot instead of five.

103. Can you spell well?

My initial guess tends to be correct, but I tend to doubt my spelling capabilities and confuse myself over wether or not I was correct.

104. Do you miss anyone from your past?

I miss the group of people who I went to school with for seven plus years. We were used to each other and it's hard to replicate that camaraderie.

105. Ever been to a bonfire party?

Nah.

106. Ever broken someone’s heart?

Hahahahahahaha No.

107. Have you ever been on a horse?

I took riding lessons when i was younger.

108. What should you be doing?

Baking a pie. I want pie.

109. Is something irritating you right now?

America’s President.

110. Have you ever liked someone so much it hurt?

Yes.

111. Do you have trust issues?

See #23

112. Who was the last person you cried in front of?

My friend/ theripast @squish-io

113. What was your childhood nickname?

Dictionary.

114. Have you ever been out of your province/state?

Yes.

115. Do you play the Wii?

No.

116. Are you listening to music right now?

Yes.

117. Do you like chicken noodle soup?

I'm Vegetarian.

118. Do you like Chinese food?

Half of my family is Chinese so I only like the good stuff.

119. Favourite book?

The Monsters of Templeton by Lauren Groff

120. Are you afraid of the dark?

No.

121. Are you mean?

Maybe?

122. Is cheating ever okay?

Once I cheated at Pandemic. The rules of the game were too complicated and I was playing against an expert.

123. Can you keep white shoes clean?

Probably, I don't have any though.

124. Do you believe in love at first sight?

I believe in attraction at first sight but not love.

125. Do you believe in true love?

No.

126. Are you currently bored?

Nah, I'm answering these, it's pretty fun.

127. What makes you happy?

My dog! Kpop crack! Tumblr(sometimes)!

128. Would you change your name?

Maybe.

129. What your zodiac sign?

It starts with a “P”

130. Do you like subway?

Not particularly.

131. Your bestfriend of the opposite sex likes you, what do you do?

First of all, that would never happen. Either way as my best friend they would know that I'm gay and so if their pronouns are not she/her it wouldn't be an issue. If their pronouns were she/her then... I dunno. Depends on what would make them happy.

132. Who’s the last person you had a deep conversation with?

See #10

133. Favourite lyrics right now?

Shawty imma party till the sundown (so I can make it back in time for curfew) 134. Can you count to one million?

Yes. For efficiency I'd count by 500,000s.

135. Dumbest lie you ever told?

“I'm straight”

136. Do you sleep with your doors open or closed?

I can't sleep with the doors open.

137. How tall are you?

Smol.

138. Curly or Straight hair?

Wavy.

139. Brunette or Blonde?

The former.

140. Summer or Winter?

Winter.

141. Night or Day?

Night.

142. Favourite month?

November.

143. Are you a vegetarian?

Yes.

144. Dark, milk or white chocolate?

Dark.

145. Tea or Coffee?

Tea.

146. Was today a good day?

Sure.

147. Mars or Snickers?

I don't eat either.

148. What’s your favourite quote?

“Love is like a fart. If you have to force it it's probably shit.”

149. Do you believe in ghosts?

No. 150. Get the closest book next to you, open it to page 42, what’s the first line on that page?

“Well,” Miss Morgan said, her voice losing conviction, “what do you mean, talking about people dressed like me? Blue hats, and so on?”

#that's a wrap #ask game #reblogging #with edits

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