#our mlm experience

[our-mlm-experience]

Daily reminder to stop harassing people who live in a different way than you. If they express love platonically, fucking let them. Love ≠ Sex

[our-queer-experience]

stupid little gay boys(me) would like to be held(please?)

[our-trans-youth-experience]

Sorry for the vent but it’s so hard wanting to date as a gay trans man pre everything

I present femininely because my parents don’t approve of my transness but I’m out at school, and I want to date but the other transmascs around me are either younger or already dating someone. I know that even when I introduce myself with my pronouns and say outright hey I’m a trans guy, people still end up reverting to she/her.

I don’t want to date anyone who’s only attracted to me because they think I’m a girl, and it’s all just ugh. I hate it here

-Alex

Hi Alex,

I'm aroace myself, so probably not the best guy to give advice about this. That being said, I'd recommend checking out @punkspacepirate's blog.

[our-mlm-experience]

Need reassurance. Is it bad of me to have a preference for trans men over cis men? I still like to date cis men, but I just prefer trans men. Somebody told me that it makes me a "chaser" because I'm a cis man. I just think it's beautiful that somebody would *want* to become a man is all. It's not that I actively "seek out" trans men. I just find myself to be more attracted to men who just so happen to be trans. Trans men are always so handsome and attractive to me. I've always found trans men attractive. I think it's more of a confidence thing, because the trans men I've been with always have this confident aura about them.

I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again.

Having preferences does not make you a bad person.

[chipjrwibignaturals]

literally so fucked up i can’t realistically just do socio-communication research my entire life. why must i have a “career” to “make money” and “care for myself”. i want to study fujoshis.

[our-sapphic-experience]

im not sapphic but. the solidarity between gay men and lesbians means the world to me. shoutout to my best friend <3

literally my best friend is a gay man!! we’re in each other’s corners <3

[our-mspec-experience]

I’m aro, allosexual, and mlm and mlnb. Those are the only things I’m sure of about my orientation anymore.

Certain Events I Won’t Get Into fucked me up enough to either lose interest in women or have that interest suppressed by anxiety and fear of the past repeating itself. I thought my orientation excluded women to the point where I was attracted to any gender where there wasn’t a trace of girl in the person. But then I met a girl at a trans support group meeting and she was cute but I wasn’t terrified? Maybe it’s just cis women I’m terrified of doing anything with, but maybe even if that’s true I’m transmisogynistic for feeling this way? I don’t know. Doesn’t help that I got a fantastic message from a trans woman on my kink blog I’m the past and spent multiple days getting over it.

I’m aro. I’m m-spec. I’m mlm and mlnb. I met a cute girl. Another cute girl has winded me up a bit. That is everything I know. And I gotta say, having some level of certainty is nice.

i’m glad you’ve found some certainty in your identity!

[our-queer-experience]

gay men can we bring the term fairy back. please.

[boyfailurr]

every straight person that has said ‘is he 💅’ to any mildly effeminate man owes the entire queer community their soul . hope this helps

[bongwatershots]

I would hate to be so miserable and hateful towards other people in my community that I only chose to only surround myself with people who have the EXACT experience or label I do.

[gallusrostromegalus]

I was raised agnostic and tend to remain ambiguous on theological matters.

-but my house has a porch on the second story that affords me a terrific view of my neighborhood and the Colorado Front Range and I was partaking of some peace before the 4th Of July Finger-Loss Festivities begin, and I have had a

~*Spiritual Experience*~

I just watched my neighbor try to unload an actual wooden pallet that had to have been forklifted into the back of his insecurity pickup worth of fireworks.

Except that he does not have a forklift in his garage.

He does have so much sports memorabilia and cardboard boxes of unsold MLM Merchandise and patriotically themed camping gear and posters of women in bikinis and flags of suspect political organizations in his garage that there is only BARELY enough space for the fireworks and certainly none for his truck.

So he had to unload the individual boxes of recreational explosives from the back of his truck and stack them in the minimal space he had cleared by hand. This is a tedious and time-consuming process as this neighbor has purchased a wide variety of recreational and locally illegal explosives instead of many of just a few types, so the individual boxes are rather small.

He begins, and this is crucial to what happens next, by cutting apart the industrial-grade saran wrap his explosives dealer had so carefully wrapped his merchandise in, and discarded it unsecured on his lawn.

Where Outdoor Conditions sometimes happen.

His process for unloading the fireworks is to 1. Climb up through the gate into the bed of his pickup truck (a feat made unusually difficult due to the slope of his driveway, and this man's fascinating decision to wear the world's Siffest and least Flexible Denim Overalls. 2. Once in the pickup bed, he selects ONE (1) box from the pile He is apparently from a niche religious institution that doesn't believe in stacking things. 3. Carries it awkwardly around the palette that barely fits in the truck bed 4. His wife yells "Be careful!" when he nearly falls out of the pickup. 5. He Yells "SHADDUP!" back at her. 6. The Large German Shepherd barks from inside the house. 7. He yells "SHADDUP!" back at her too. 8. He sets the (1) box down on the gate 9. Slowly and awkwardly climbs out of the pickup bed 10. picks the box back up, and carries it into the garage.

Question: Aren't you going to help this poor man? Answer: Absolutely Not.

There's four military veterans, MANY dogs, and several people with dementia in this neighborhood, all of whom are terrified by this chicanery every year and many neighbors have repeatedly asked him to maybe do the fireworks somewhere else. (This is the Eighth Year Running he's held a major demolition event in his driveway, and for those of you who can do math, you may be able to guess the precipitating incident to this little ritual) Additionally, I live in Colorado, a state marginally less prone to spontaneous and catastrophic conflagrations than a rotting grain silo, but only marginally. Our recreational explosives laws are written accordingly.

I am in fact calling the Non Emergency line to report Fireworks violations, and reading off the brand labels to someone named Dorothy, who is gleefully totaling up a SPECTACULAR fine for my oblivious neighbor.

However, while I'm on the phone with Dorothy, I notice the wind begin to pick up. and by "Notice" I mean "The Industrial Saran Wrap he left on his Lawn earlier is suddenly swept up about 100 feet into the air by an updraft intense enough to make my ears pop" And by "Pick Up" I mean "I look up to see the sky has turned a fun and exciting shade of glass green, and the bottoms of the clouds are bumpy and rounded, and the overall effect is not unlike looking up through the bottom of the cup at God's Matcha Boba Tea."

For those of you who do not live in places with Inclement Weather, these conditions mean "You have about 30 seconds before a Major Meteorological Event Occurs."

I move under the eaves. "Hang on Dorothy." I say, nose filling with Petrichor. "The show is about to be cancelled." "Oh, that doesn't matter!" Dorothy cheerfully informs me. "It's illegal for him just to possess those, no matter if he actually gets to set them off or not." "Terrific, because he's gotten maybe five boxes out of a hundred inside."

Sometimes, the weather gods are Merciful and give you a verbal warning, typically in the kind of thunderclap that makes your ears ring.

The Gods were not merciful today.

It's not often that I am in the time, place, correct angle or in a properly observational frame of mind to see this, But I got to see it today. Huh. I thought. I've never seen a cloud just DIVE for the ground before. Oh. I realized as it got closer. That's RAIN.

Sometimes, a thunderstorm will form in such a way that the rain that would normally be distributed over an area of say, five to tent square miles, is instead concentrated into an area of say, my neighborhood exactly.

So today, I was granted the rare privilege of being able to actually see the literal wall of water descend from On High and DIRECTLY onto my porch, my street, and my neighbor's truck, and his pile of unwrapped fireworks.

The sheer impact force of the downpour immediately scatters the teetering pile of fireworks boxes in the back of the truck, like the wrath of God striking down the tower of Babel. Boxes tumble, then are washed out of the bed of the truck by the deluge. Smaller Boxes are carried down the road in a little line by the stream forming in the gutter, like little impotent explosive ducklings.

My neighbor was definitely yelling something, but I could not hear what over the DEAFENING noise several million gallons of water makes upon high-speed contact with the earth's surface, but there was a lot of arm-waving and faces turning red as he went looking for the saran wrap that had probably blown to Nebraska by now, while his wife started disassembling the complex three-dimensional puzzle of interlocking material goods in search of a tarp. They do not have a tarp. They have one of those wretched Thin Blue Line flags though, and my neighbor jogs out in a futile effort to cover what's left in the truck.

Which is when the hail begins.

"HELLO?" Yelled Dorothy. "HI!" I shouted. "WE'RE HAVING SOME WEATHER!" "OH GOOD!" she shouts back. "WE NEED THE MOISTURE!"

I watch for a minute longer, but the loss was immediate and catastrophic- the hail is the size of marbles and dense and cares not for your pitiful cardboard and cellophane, ripping the boxes asunder and punching holes in the few things covered in plastic. The colors on the Thin Blue Line Flag are seeping all over the remains of that it was supposed to protect in a particularly apt visual metaphor. Not even the few boxes that made it into the garage are spared, as the German Shepherd escapes from indoors, and in an attempt to assist her humans, jumps directly into the small stack of not-yet-ruined boxes, scattering them into the driveway and deluge. She even picks one up so her humans will chase her around the yard, before dropping it in the gutter to be swept away.

So. I was raised Agnostic -but even I can recognize when God slaps someone upside the head and shouts "NO!" at them.

---

(If you laughed, please consider supporting my Ko-fi or preordering my book of Strange Stories on Patreon)

[our-mlm-experience]

Just wondering

Reblog for sample size and such.

[our-queer-experience]

A few years ago, I was taking an order for a man who wanted to get some custom keychains as a gift. I caught the moment he saw my ace pride bracelet, and I steeled myself for his reaction. Instead his voice got a little softer, and he pointed to one of the options. "That's my husband's favorite color, so I want to get that one for him. It's his birthday."

I work in an army supply store in a military town in the Bible belt (US), and while things have gotten better I know it can still be a toxic environment. Knowing this guy saw my bracelet and felt safe enough to be himself in that moment gave me the confidence to keep wearing my bracelet (or at least hang it on my sewing machine), because you never know who you might see next.

I never saw him again, but I hope he kept finding love and acceptance in unexpected places.

im crying, that interaction sounds so sweet

[applebuttercringe]

Asexual Viktor Controversy Explained (By an Asexual)

You may have heard of the new controversy tearing the Arcane community apart. To summarize: Christian Linke (Co-creator of Arcane) was asked in a german interview about Jayvik and responded that it is not canon by explaining that Viktor is intended to be Asexual. He then talked about the importance of Asexual representation.

This has sparked a number of reactions from Arcane fans, and especially Asexual Arcane fans. Most of the reactions are some mixture of the following points.

Reasons people don't like it:

It's just to invalidate Jayvik: A lot of people are angry because Christian Linke is well known for not liking Jayvik, and so some people believe he only said Viktor was Asexual in order to try and get rid of Jayvik. Thus creating the impression that the only purpose of making Viktor Asexual was to invalidate an mlm relationship. Or that Christian Linke only did it because he is homophobic.

It wasn't in the show: The claim that this was always the intention for Viktors character is brought into doubt when you consider that this obscure interview is the only time Viktor has ever been said to be Asexual. Several of the other writers, animators, and artists who worked on Arcane have said Jayvik is canon. Which creates the impression that this was not an intentional choice that was discussed thoroughly in the writers room and interwoven into the story, but rather a last minute addition by Christian Linke after the fact. Kind of like J.K. Rowling making Dumbeldore gay or Hermione black in a tweet, just added for attention and representation points. Asexual people deserve purposeful depictions.

It plays into Asexual stereotypes: A common and very damaging stereotype about Asexual people is that they are emotionless, lonely, or inhuman. With so many people believing romance is what makes us human, or that it is unnatural to not experience sexuality and therefore it is bad. Often lack of romantic or sexual desire is equated to lack of any kind of love or emotional coldness. Viktors story is largely about him being isolated and lonely for most of his life, being abandonned by his only close relationships, and eventually ridding himself of all emotions. He is shown to hate human emotion and actively tries to rid himself of his own humanity. It isn't hard to see how Viktor being the only Asexual representation in the show could reinforce harmful stereotypes about Asexual people. He has a whole monologue where he disavows human passion. This is really what bothers me about Viktor's Asexuality confirmation. If this really was intentional, they were playing into stereotypes. The only asexual character being made into an inhuman villain who's motivation is hatred for emotion and gets their via rejection of love is pretty rough.

It plays into stereotypes about Disabled people: This I know the least about, so I will just summarize what I have seen. Disabled people are often portrayed as sexless as a result of their perceived "undesirableness". This creates a steretype of equating disabledness to uglyness to asexuality. This is damaging as it perpetuated many stereotypes. It is used to infantalize both disabled and asexual people. It also treats asexuality like a symptom of a disorder. Good resources to learn more:

Christian Linke doesn't seem to understand Asexuality: Christian Linke calls Viktor Asexual. But it seems that the terminology he meant to use is Asexual/Aromantic. He seems to say that Jayvik CAN'T be canon becasue Viktor is asexual, but asexual doesn't mean aromantic. He can be Ace and Gay. Thus how him being asexual doesn't invalidate Jayvik. If he really did intend for Asexual Viktor to be canon this whole time, he probably should have done more research about the nature of Asexuality.

Creating controversy: Considering the all consuming power house that Jayvik has become in the Arcane fandom, it should have been expected that the co-creator rebuffing it would not be taken well. This whole thing has sparked a lot of discourse and caused for both Jayvik shippers to be inundated with comments of people calling them acephobic for shipping Jayvik, and Asexual Viktor enjoyers being shouted down. A lot of asexual fans are annoyed by the communities violently negative response to Asexual Viktor. Overall it feels like this whole thing has just thrown everyone under the bus.

Reasons people did like it:

Asexual Representation!: Asexual people are some of the least represented of the Queer community. They are also some of the most misunderstood by popular culture. A show as popular as Arcane having a canon Asexual charachter is a huge win, especially one as beloved by the community as Viktor. Despite the sometimes stereotypicalness of his story, many Asexual people deeply connect with Viktor and headcanoning him as Aro/Ace has been popular since Season 1.

Reading Jayvik as a deeply loving platonic relationship is very touching for Asexual people especially. One of the most prevalent stereotypes about Aro/Ace people is that their lives are lonely or meaningless because they don't experience sexual/romantic love. This is of course wrong, and deeply Amatonormative. Arcane depicting a deeply close, world endingly loving platonic relationship between two men is great and sorely needed. For this reason many Asexual people love this development as it shows a fulfilling, important, loving relationship that is sex free. Breaking one of the biggest stereotypes about Asexual people and the very nature of love. In this way Platonic Jayvik is just as groundbreaking a story as Romantic Jayvik.

Doesn't invalidate Jayvik: Asexuality is a spectrum, and it is distinct from being Aromantic. Asexual people can experience occasional sexual attraction, or be sex neutral and still have sex for the benefit of a partner. Viktor being Asexual doesn't disqualify him from being gay, or being in a romantic/sexual relationship with Jayce. It doesn't stop Jayvik from existing in the way Christian Linke seems to think it does.

Final Thought: I'm Asexual. I.... like the idea. However the execution leaves a lot to be desired. The foundation is their but this is still a deeply flawed piece of representation (if we even consider it representation at all). It feels like the kind of idea that we will see written so much better on AO3. I look forward to seeing that.

In terms of Jayvik, I don't think it is Acephobic to continue to ship Jayvik/write Jayvik Smut. the canonicity of this is dubious anyways and considering how wide spread and loved Jayvik is it would be ridiculous to demand people stop writing about them, or delete their hundred thousand word fanfictions/fancomics just because of an interview. People are deeply invested in Jayvik, it would suck to take that away. Keep doing what you are doing. I fully stand by the idea that Jayvik is left purposely open to interpretation. I love Platonic and Romantic Jayvik.

Fuck it. Trans/Genderfluid/Asexual/Gay Viktor. Thats what I believe.

(Please don't harass any of the people who's tweets were included)

[genderkoolaid]

I feel like you would get this, seeing this comment section kinda hurt. The OP they are responding to is a non-binary trans man who was talking about feeling uncomfortable because they still feel attraction to lesbians and have felt very excluded. He’s wary around certain lesbians because they center their ideology around hating men regardless of gender identity and has faced a lot of anti-transmasculinity and transmisogyny. While most lesbians are wonderful amazing people there’s no denying that some do hold an innate hatred for men, not saying they need to like men. I fully understand lesbians and predatory cis men but there’s definitely lesbians who would date trans men. It can be scary for a trans man to come out or start transitioning because at what point do they become too masculine or too much of a man for their friends. There were even people in the comments saying the same anti-man statements who identify as a he/him nonbinary lesbian. This topic is very hard to hear for me as a closeted genderfluid person because my best friend is a man hating lesbian and I dread the day I can actually begin transitioning and she turns her back on me like these people. Queer spaces in general can be hard to occupy as a multi gendered person because of those people as well as mlm/nblm spaces that say ‘fem aligned dni’. In general I don’t think we should police labels and everyone has their own interpretation and I think labels are just a suggestion anyway but I suppose that makes sense for a genderfluid bisexual person.

These people just straight up do not understand the gender diversity that has always existed in lesbian spaces (by which I mean spaces built & catering to queer women & those seen as women).

There have always been trans men in lesbian spaces. You aren't obligated to fuck them, but they have always been there. There are pages and pages of writing out there not only by trans male dykes, but by the lesbian cis women who love them and still identify as lesbians while in relationships with them. There are trans guys at dyke bars right now as we speak having a great time.

Its not surprising to me that there are he/him NB lesbians supporting this. There are a lot of people out there who, because they don't identify As Men, mentally distance themselves from those who do despite any similarities. It's okay for THEM to be lesbians, and it's transphobic to erase THEIR lesbianism because they are Non-Men™! but once you cross that line you become the enemy. It's very "no you gyns I'm TOTALLY different than those gross tbros i promise im not a man at all and i will never want to be one so im allowed in the club!" The same people also throw multigender people under the bus. Trying to figure out your nonbinary in this environment is hellish (I speak from experience) because people pretend like they are super accepting of nonbinary people, until you realize that if you ever think of yourself as even slightly male people will start seeing you as a predatory invader trying to Force Lesbians To Date Men! Very "complex gender for me but not for thee"

Anyways. Twitter is not a good place. Anon, I hope you find better friends. Not every queer space is this hostile to us, I promise. There are people out there who genuinely work to make our community better and I hope you find them.

[the-genderflux-experience]

Master list of all the "our __ experience" lgbtq+ blogs

These are all the active and inclusive/friendly queer blogs I could find. If I listed any that are exclusionist or otherwise bad or are just inactive, please let me know so I can remove them. This list is intended to help queer people find active and inviting communities to participate in and feel safe in. If you know more feel free to add them in the reblogs and/or tell me them so I can add them. Please spread this around, I worked very hard on compiling this list, and this may help people find the community for them here on Tumblr.

🏳️‍🌈 Overall community

@our-queer-experience

@our-lgbtq-brazilian-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Aromantic and/or asexual

@aroacesafeplaceforall

@our-arospec-experience

@our-asexual-experience

@our-oriented-aroace-experience

@our-aroace-experience

@unionize-aromantically

@our-demiromantic-experience

@our-demian-experience

@our-amicus-experience

@our-grey-experience

@our-aspec-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Gay/lesbian

@our-lesbian-experience

@our-gay-experience

@our-lesboy-experience

@our-gaybian-experience

@our-mlm-experience

@our-sapphic-experience

@our-achillean-experience

@our-butch-experience

@our-sapphillean-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Transgender

@our-transgender-experiences

@transsexual-experiences

@our-transfeminine-experience

@our-transmasculine-experience

@our-trans-youth-experience

@our-trans-punk-experience

@our-transhet-experience

@our-afab-transfem-experience

@our-amab-transmasc-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Genderfluid (and related)

@our-genderfluid-experience

@the-genderflux-experience

@our-boyflux-experience

@our-genderfawn-experience

@our-genderfae-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Demigender

@our-demigirl-experience

@our-demiboy-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Agender

@our-agender-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Multigender

@our-multigender-experience

@your-bigender-big-brother

@yourbigendergremlet

🏳️‍🌈 Nonbinary

@our-nonbinary-experience

@our-genderqueer-experience

@our-androgyne-experience

@our-abinary-experience

@our-maverique-experience

🏳️‍🌈 More sexualities

@our-pansexual-experience

@our-bisexual-experience

@our-mspec-experience

🏳️‍🌈Polyamory (and related)

@our-polyamorous-experience

@our-ambiamorous-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Neurodivergence

@our-neuroqueer-experience

🏳️‍🌈 Other/random

@our-queerplatonic-experience

@gender-envy-is

@our-unlabelled-experience

@our-xenogender-experience

@our-questioning-experience

@our-outherly-experience

@our-neopronoun-experience

@anattractional-safe-space