#our love of taylor knows no bounds

[kasagia]

Right Hand VI

Pairing: Na-Baron Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen x fem!exBeneGesserit! reader Summary: You're tired of listening to others and of being afraid of prophecies that don't make sense and that were made up by someone else. Your present belonged only to you. And hell knows, you're going to take your future too. Warning: 18+; violence; blood; Feyd Rautha; death; smut; I was listening to 'Down Bad' by Taylor and I used quotes from a few of them; TEXT NOT CHECKED - I' barely managed to write it on time' I've just ended it and wanted to post it for you, since you are waiting for it so long; it took me ages but I hope you will like it; Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen's Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ Main Masterlist ~•♤♤♤•~ PART V ~•♤♤♤•~ Epilogue ~•♤♤♤•~

Feyd rarely felt pain he didn't like. The years spent on Giedi Prime—or rather, years of enduring his uncle's methods of making him a true Harkonnen, his worthy successor—made Feyd love pain. He found pleasure in it—something he had to learn if he wanted to survive.

But it didn't bring him any satisfaction or pleasure when you pierced his chest with one of his swords. He feels pure pain. Anger, betrayal, and hurt.

He hates the way he falls limply to his knees in front of you. He hates that he still looks at you like you're a saint. He hates that he hopes you'll at least look him in the eyes, as if that would bring him some kind of salvation. He hates how lost he feels now and how he's slowly losing awareness of his surroundings. He hates that even though you stabbed him, all he can do is stare at you, clinging to the sight of you more than to his life.

"This will be the beginning of a wonderful alliance, Lady Y/N."

He feels you unhook your poisoned dagger from his arm. Feyd thinks you're doing it to finish him off. Poetically kill him with the weapon he gave you. He closes his eyes and waits for the final stab or throat slit. But nothing like that happens. He doesn't have the strength to turn around and see exactly what you're doing, but your words alone are enough for him to imagine the scene that is happening behind him.

"I may not be a Harkonnen, but I've picked up a few of their habits. If you want an agreement between us, show me your hand." After your words, he can hear a hiss from Atreides when you plunge the dagger into your joined hands, piercing them both through.

Feyd would have laughed mockingly if he hadn't spent all his energy on breathing slowly. He remembered explaining to you how contracts, such as arranged marriages, were sealed on Giedi Prime. The Harkonnens shook hands and pierced them with swords, thus signing a blood pact. This also applied to marriages and other such things. Blood bound them stronger than any words or signatures on paper. He cursed himself for the fact that, seeing your scared face at his words, he withdrew from this idea and decided to make a verbal agreement between you. He should be the one to bind you with his blood, not Atreides.

The steel in his body rubs against his lower ribs, but it does not damage any major organs. He tries to keep the sword in the exact same position you stuck it in, but he feels like he's going to faint from all the pain, the blood, and the fear for you that he feels now.

You made him so weak that even after you stabbed him, all he could think about was your safety and your well-being. Every shaky breath he took, every slow beat of his heart as he fought to stay conscious—it was all for you.

He just hoped like hell that you weren't lying a few moments ago, that this would all turn out to be just one of your games, and that you would soon end Atreides' life. But it's not like that.

"Let this blood be a symbol of our union." Your sweet, dangerous whisper reaches Feyd's ears.

He's raging with powerlessness and anger. That Atreides dog didn't deserve to mix his blood with yours. Only Feyd should be able to do this. Only his black blood should merge with your crimson, staining your joined hands as you swore allegiance to each other. His heart hurts more than the wound you gave him as he imagine how you and this desert rat are now echanging each other's blood.

If he hadn't been placed in such a vulnerable state by you, he would have ripped Atreides' heart out with his bare hands for daring to mix his blood with yours. A cold shiver runs down his spine at the thought of Atreides connecting with you in yet another way. A way Feyd was robbed too many times.

He tries to get up, but he doesn't have enough strength. All he can do is place his hands on the floor, trying to take the weight off his torso. The blade scratching his flesh bothers him much less than the fact that Atreides has the nerve to touch you or that you're blatantly ignoring him while playing whatever game you're playing right now.

"Leave him to me. I want… to repay him for all these years of fulfilling his wishes." The cool, composed tone of your voice that you used many times when the two of you dealt with inconvenient prisoners did nothing to inspire his hope or quench his rage.

You really betrayed him. You, of all people. How stupid and naive he was to believe you. He should have killed you the moment his eyes met yours. You were an intruder. A spy in disguise. His bittersweet end.

The door slams shut behind Atreides. Feyd hears your footsteps, the sand from your soles falling back onto the ground—the same ground where his black, thick blood is now flowing. You walk over to him; if he could focus enough, he would see the toes of your shoes.

You kneel in front of him, gently tugging on his head, causing him to rest on your shoulder. He can smell your blood dripping from your hand. You stain his head with it. Under any other circumstances, he would have appreciated how close you were to him, but now, with the sword rubbing uncomfortably against his insides, your touch doesn't bring any comfort at all. Even your lips pressed against his forehead cannot calm the volcano of emotions boiling inside him. But he is helpless. He is unable to do anything; he is completely surrendered to your grace. It wouldn't bother him a few hours ago. Now he hated it.

"I'm sorry." You whisper, then use the voice on him to tell him to fall asleep. When he drifts off to sleep at your command, he is already planning how he will take revenge on you. And hell knows you're going to pay him for it.

"He'll be furious." One of your spies comments as she helps you carry Feyd's body out of the sietch.

Inessa was the only Harkonnen woman you could reasonably trust. She's done your dirty work many times, but... never THIS. You somewhat understood her concerns, but currently, when you both had to carry Feyd through the Fremen corridors and go unnoticed, you didn't necessarily approve of it.

"I am aware." You reply, looking around. Inessa and you somehow patched up Feyd's wound. Now you had to either drag him to the surface yourself and hope that someone would find him in the chaos of the fight or leave him with some of his soldiers.

You didn't like any of these ideas. But you had to do what you planned if you wanted to regain your freedom, even if it meant that Feyd would hate you for it for infinity.

"Fucking angry. I'm serious, Y/N." Inessa warns you again. You roll your eyes at her, for a Harkonnen she was very fearful.

You remember how her hands were shaking a few minutes ago as you both stitched up your new Baron. It was a makeshift dressing and still required treatment by a doctor, but it was enough to get Feyd to the ship and back to base. During this time, you will take care of everything here. You hope that by the time he wakes up, you will have finished what you set out to do. Otherwise, you don't see your future well.

"Just get him out of here." You grumble, turning into a side corridor, and encounter Harkonnen soldiers fighting the Fremen as they kill the last of them, their eyes shifting to the two of you. You nod at them. Without a word, they approach you and take Feyd from you. Inessa looks at you, worried.

"What if he wakes up?"

"You stuffed him with painkillers, and I ordered him to sleep. He won't get up until you're back on the ship." The woman sighs and shakes her head, looking at you intently as you speak.

"Y/N. You've had some… creatively stupid ideas, but this one is the worst of them all. He won't give up. You know it. So why are you doing this?" She asks, taking you off guard for a moment.

She was right. You could have returned to the ship with them, gone back to the safety of Giedi Prime, and let Feyd fight Paul alone. You could have let go and stopped participating in a war that wasn't yours. But at what cost? You've been obeying someone all your life. Bene Gesserit. Prophecies. Feyd. It's finally time for you to deal the cards. And you will do it. In your and Feyd's best interests. You just hoped that he could… forgive you, or see the reasoning behind your actions.

"For myself. For my freedom. For us. This is the only way to end the matter of Atreides, Fremen, and Arrakis. The only effective way."

"Don't you know it yet? You will never be free. We women will never enjoy men's freedom. There will always be someone to whom you must submit. You can't change your fate."

"Then I'd rather die trying." You say, turning on your heel. You don't look back to see her reaction to your words. You had too little time.

The burning sensation on your hand only reminded you of running out of it. The dagger that Feyd gave you must have also had an effect on Atreides. You don't know how advanced he is in Bene Gesserit teachings, so you had to hurry before he detected the poison in his body. Or, God forbid, neutralise it.

You wipe your sweating forehead with the sleeve of your hand as your body begins to fight the poison slowly accumulating in your body. The antidote rested safely in a small syringe hidden in the handle of the dagger you kept strapped to your thigh. You just had to use it when the time was right.

You hope you will get everything done before you die.

You wander through the corridors without knowing where you are. You just have a feeling in the back of your head about where you should go. Besides, the escaping Harkonnens kind of showed you the way into the sietch.

Your hands are shaking as you slowly approach the main room—the one where the Fremen usually gather for large meetings and in case of an attack. Still, you thank Feyd for forcing you to attend the Harkonenn war meetings. At least now you are more familiar with the location of the Fremen's rooms and methods.

The closer you get to the main hall, the more Fremen women push past you, and you feel a little more confident walking through the crowd with them, confident that they are leading you to your place of harm in case of an attack. Even though the Harkonnen were already retreating from the area, some of them were still fighting the Fremen, who craved the blood on their swords and didn't let them just leave. You can only imagine the Feyd's wrath that they will have to face. His men didn't come... fully armed. Apparently it was supposed to be a quick action—get in and out with you, then launch a full attack and invasion.

You know that once he wakes up and heals up a bit, he's going to paint these halls with blood before he burns them to the ground.

Entering the main room, you immediately take a seat by the wall, watching all the Fremen gathering, carefully looking for Atreides among them. He probably had to make sure they "cleared" the halls from the Harkonnens. It makes you sick to think of them bragging about this as a victory over the Harkonnens. It makes you wish you had a little bomb with you...

"Are you already hiding in the shadows?" You shiver when you hear him whisper in your ear. You haven't learned to recognise his steps yet. They were irregular, different, and hard to detect and remember—as if he were constantly moving through the sand like a feather.

"The quicker I adapt, the better, right?" You ask, raising an eyebrow at him in challenge. He shakes his head in amusement and watches the Fremen gather with you. It's strange that somehow no one has noticed him yet.

"I'm starting to understand why my cousin kept you so close to him."

"Cousin?" You ask in shock, turning your head towards him so you can look at him. This time he ignores you, not shifting his gaze from the Fremen.

"A little surprise. Maybe we all have a bit of Harkonnen in us after all?" He banters without giving you any of his attention. You snort indignantly, looking at the gathering people again.

"You look tired." You comment, wanting to tease him. You can barely keep yourself from stabbing him with your poisoned dagger a few times. But since he was talking to you so... carelessly, it meant he couldn't detect the poison. Good for you.

"I always am. I will rest when I sit peacefully on the imperial throne."

You would laugh at him if you could. He might easily sit on the emperor's throne, but he wouldn't be able to hold power over all the families for long. Certainly not if you and Feyd had anything to say about it.

Your heart clenches as you remember the moment you stabbed him. You had to. There was no other way to get rid of him long enough for you to take care of everything here. Also, he wouldn't allow you to do that if he knew what you were up to. Besides, if you didn't stab him, Atreides and he would get into a fight. Unfortunately, you weren't that confident in Feyd's abilities. He would be in a state of distraction if your well-being was at stake.

Besides, Atreides' words convinced you of this decision more than anything else.

More than one great king fell under the intrigue of a lesser man.

If there was anything you could praise about Paul Atreides, it was his cunning. And you were sure that if Atreides was somehow going to defeat Feyd, it would be through intrigue and trickery. And then you weren't ready to save your baron. So you had to use drastic measures to get him out and allow yourself to function fully. You couldn't give Atreides any leverage or advantage over you. You certainly couldn't reveal what a weakness Feyd was to you.

"Hmm… you have to survive first." You answered thoughtfully. Out of the corner of your eye, you see him turn his head to look at you. His intense, analysing gaze makes you burn as you have to endure his unwanted attention.

"With such a talented Bene Gesserit as MY right hand? I have not the slightest doubt. You proved your loyalty by killing my cousin. I have no doubt that you are capable of great things. However... this sudden change of sides is shocking, I must admit."

"Why? Because I chose something better for myself? It was the same with Feyd. I could either stay among the Bene Gesserit and hope they wouldn't send me to breed with anyone, or I could take matters into my own hands. And I don't like blindly entrusting my fate to someone else, Atreides."

"I see... you look good with independence, Harkonnen witch, but don't forget who you answer to."

"Of course, Fremen messiah." The nickname you give him makes me chuckle. He reaches up and tucks a strand of your hair behind your ear. You look carefully at his bandaged hand, which you pierced with a dagger.

You find yourself comparing his hands to Feyd's. Harkonnen's hands were hard, rough, trained from years of using all kinds of weapons. Atrdida's hands were smoother, less stained by effort. Another difference between them was that Feyd would never let anyone bandage the wound you gave him. He would rather wear them proudly until the wound heals itself. You should think it's sick, but years spent by his side have taught you… to appreciate such gestures. Maybe you really had a completely different perception of normality?

Atreides' fingers trace your jaw, caressing it gently. You look into his eyes and immediately see the familiar gleam of audacity in them. He looked at you like you were a prize—a nice thing that he managed to take from his enemy, which he can now put on his bedside table and look at to remember his victory. Under any other circumstances, you would have bitten his fingers off, but unfortunately, you had to behave. But only for a moment longer.

"What do you think you're doing?" An angry, cold female voice echoes behind you. Before you know it, you're being pushed sideways against the wall. A dagger at your throat. You act automatically. You attack a woman, disarm her, and push her against a wall. But before you can put a dagger at her throat yourself, Atreides steps between you.

"What's necessary, Chani. I would suggest you not attack my guest." The woman glares at him, and for a moment, you think she's going to attack him or spit on him. Then her anger shifts to you.

"This Harkonnen witch has killed more of our people than any of them. She should be dead, not taken in as a guest." She growls furiously, giving you a distrustful, mad look. You understand her perfectly. If you were in her place, you would do the same. Only Feyd, unlike Atreides, couldn't stop you from hurting your rival.

"It's not up to you to decide her fate."

Chani gives the two of you one last hateful glare and pushes past Atreides, moving into the crowd, away from the two of you. You look at the woman carefully, analysing her gait and posture. Similar to Atreides. So you found his teacher.

"Your…"

"Concubine." He finishes, thus answering your question. You raise an eyebrow at him in surprise.

"I see."

"Jealous?" This time, you can't help but snort in amusement, giggling at his absurd question.

"I would sonner be jealous of a sandworm than of you. What is bewteen us is just an agreement. Don't forget that, Atreides."

"That's why I like you. Give me a moment. We'll talk later. Don't go anywhere. I will find you."

He puts his hand on your shoulder. You assume he thinks it's a gesture of reassurance, but it's not for you. You anxiously wait for him to move away from you so he can speak to the crowd of Fremen.

You shiver as you briefly make eye contact with Chani, who is standing at the other end of the room. She's still seething with rage. You're not entirely sure why she's so devoted to Atreides, but after thinking about it longer, you realise what her reason is for being so protective over him. You would probably do the same things for Feyd as she did for Paul. However, you would be... more ruthless towards your rival. You wave to the woman, smirking. She looks away from you, focusing her gaze on Atreides.

You study him as well, carefully observing him as he speaks to the Fremen. He is imperious and powerful, but also arrogant and conceited. His overconfidence that he acquired among the Fremen—the belief that he was the chosen one—will lead to his death. You will lead him to death. Otherwise, no one will stand a chance against him. He had one significant thing that could ensure his victory: a huge crowd of people who blindly believed that he would bring them salvation if they obediently followed his every request.

And maybe you would feel sorry for these people and try to help them if your own freedom and future weren't on the line.

You play with the handle of your dagger. You press a small button. A small ampoule with a needle falls into your hand. You hiss, injecting the contents of the ampoule into your arm.

Atreides was right. - You think, listening carefully to the man's speech to the crowd. - More than one great king fell under the intrigue of a lesser man.

The faint hum of the ship's engine gives Feyd a clear indication of where he is. He opens his eyes and looks around the room. He's in the bedroom of one of Harkonnen's ships. He sits up, swinging his legs over the edge of the bed, and looks at his bare chest. He furrows his hairless eyebrows in surprise when he sees no wound or bandage—just a tiny, sealed scar in the area where you pierced him with the sword.

"Where are you going?" Your quiet, protesting whisper makes him freeze. After a while, he feels your warm hands on his shoulders as you pull him back into the soft sheets and into your arms. You cuddle up to him, wrapping your arms around him and burying your head in the crook of his neck. "Stay. We still have a lot of time before we land on Lankiveil, so you can spend it in bed with your wife. I doubt we'll find a moment of peace for ourselves when our little Na-Baron demands swimming lessons from you and a tour around the new planet, so use this little moment of peace."

Feyd's heart skips a beat when he feels your lips brushing on the skin of his neck and hears you calling yourself his wife. He allows himself to drown in the warmth of your body and the feeling of your gentle touch on his skin. He buries his nose in your hair, shuddering slightly as you place small kisses on his neck and lick his skin, teasing him. However, one thing was still bothering him…

"Little Na-Baron?" He asks, confused, when you lazily stroke his head with your fingers, drawing patterns on its pale skin.

"Our son. I pleased you so well last night that you forgot about our son, or are you just not awake yet, darling?" You ask him teasingly, opening your eyes to look at him for the first time.

Feyd is speechless when he sees the spark of malice in your eyes and the beautiful smile you give him. Your beauty, the calmness with which you lie curled on his chest—as if it were the most normal thing you do every day—and the strange warmth that spreads across his chest because of it make him lose his ability to speak.

You giggle, pulling him closer to you and placing a tender, gentle kiss on his lips. You moan, enjoying the feeling of his plush lips, sucking on his bottom lip as you claim him as yours. Feyd feels himself starting to harden just from the feeling of your lips on his and the teasing movements of your fingers around his nipples.

"I…" He tries to speak, but then he hears the baby's soft whimpering. He tenses up, unaccustomed to any interaction with children.

His gaze goes from the cradle placed in the corner of the room to you in pure panic, as he has no idea what to do with the crying baby. But you don't seem to care about the baby crying as much as he does. You groan in protest and pull away from him, burying your face in the pillow.

"Mhm... go to her, it's your turn." You mumble, not giving him a glance, as you hug the pillow instead of him. He starts to be a little jealous, but that feeling fades away, replaced by panic as the baby's cries intensify.

"Now you're letting me go?" He asks, hoping you'll change your mind and take care of the crying demon in the cradle yourself.

"I simply found a better use for you elsewhere." He huffs, leaning towards you and ruffling your hair. You punch him in the chest and force him out of bed. He rolls his eyes at you and turns hesitantly towards the crib.

He feels his legs shaking and his heart beating with nervousness. Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen is stressed and nervous by a crying baby in a cradle. He breathes deeply as he stands over the cradle.

His world stops when his eyes meet small irises that are a similar shade of blue to his. And his heart stops when he sees a little copy of you. Your child is undoubtedly a reflection of you. She only has his eyes, but the colour of her skin and hair, the shape of her nose, mouth, and eyes are all you. Feyd's heart pounds as he stares at the small miracle before him. Suddenly, the sounds reach him again. Panicked, he takes the baby gently, making sure not to accidentally hurt her, and in a few quick steps, he is by your side again.

"I… I think it is hungry." He says, reaching out towards you to hand the baby to you as quickly as possible.

"Feyd-Rautha Harkonnen, did you just call our daughter it?" You ask angrily, sitting on the bed and looking at him furious. You sigh at his helpless expression and take your daughter from him. "Forgive daddy, Katerina. He doesn't usually behave like this." You mumble sweetly to the baby, trying to calm her down.

Miraculously, because Feyd can't call it anything else, you manage to calm down the baby in your embrace, her little lips pursing in dissatisfaction as she waits for you to feed her. Feyd swears she makes the exact same face you do when you're impatient or angry. His heart melts even more at the image in front of him.

Feyd sits on the edge of the bed, watching in fascination as you feed your baby. This scene seems... unreal to him. He had never experienced anything like this before—the feelings of warmth, safety, and boundless love and devotion that appear in him when he looks at the two of you.

He may have had vague memories of his mother singing bedtime lullabies to him and Rabban, but... he had never felt the way he did with you and your daughter. He had never felt that disarming feeling of home that made him allow himself to become vulnerable for the first time in many years.

He uncertainly reaches towards the child and gently strokes his daughter's head. The colour of her hair is identical to yours. Feyd's lips form involuntarily in a smile when the child reaches her little hand to his fingers, tightening his fist firmly. As she gently moves his hand away from her head, she does not let her grip on his fingers loosen. She was strong for a baby. She certainly had a warrior nature inherited from both of you. Feyd couldn't wait to train her...

He found himself thinking that all he wanted was to curl up in this bed with you and hold you safely in his arms before he would be brutally torn from this beautiful dream or vision.

He sits on the bed, looking at the two of you, when suddenly the bedroom door opens. The thud of small feet on the metal floor echoes around the room, and that's all the warning Feyd gets before the little white-haired boy lunges at him.

"Dad! Dad! We'll be there soon! I can't wait. Uncle Rabban told me that there are huge oceans that can swallow our ships if we land wrong! Is it true?" Asks the child, sitting on his lap and holding him tightly.

Feyd hesitantly wraps his arms around the boy, making sure he doesn't accidentally fall from his lap to the floor. His gaze quickly shifts to you in utter confusion. Rabban as a caring, mischievous uncle? What the hell was that supposed to be?

"Your uncle has a habit of distorting some facts, Feydor. I assure you we'll be fine. And Lankiveil is wonderful, isn't it, honey?" You ask Feyd, resting Katerina on your shoulder and making sure she burps.

"Yes. It is beautiful." He says, unconsciously running a hand through his son's hair as he looks at the three of you, unable to get over the shock and awe.

"I want a hug." Your son demands. You laugh as you pull him closer to you. When you see that Feyd isn't moving to join you all, you grab his hand and gently guide him back to the soft pillows. You lie there curled up, you with Katerina on your chest, Feydor between you and him as you wrap your arms around each other.

His son mutters something to his sister, but Feyd doesn't hear him. All he can do is stare at the three of you in amazement.

"Now sleep. Both of you. I don't want to hear any grumpy complaints about not getting enough sleep, okay, my boys?"

'It only happened once." Feydor mumbles, manoeuvring your and Feyd's hands to hug him tightly. "Besides, Dad was whining worse than me."

"I have no doubt that was the case. Your dad is a terribly fussy and grumpy man." You laugh and lean in to place a quick kiss on Feyd's lips. He strokes your waist, moving closer to you and your son as baby Katerina mumbles something in a language only she knows.

Feyd can only watch tenderly as his little family falls asleep, curled up in each other's arms. And he believes that this is the best possible future that can await him. He doesn't want the throne. He doesn't want to become emperor. He just wants to be able to fall asleep and wake up with you in his arms and your children running around. It's all he dreams about.

The younger Feyd would certainly laugh at him and mock him for such a trivial goal he had set for himself, but what more could he want with the title of baron and you by his side?

He saw perfectly well how the lives of his uncle and emperor turned out and knew the tragic fate of great people in power who decided to devote their entire lives to achieving the greatest possible influence. Feyd didn't want to follow in their footsteps. He wanted you. He realised, with horror, that this was enough for him—the vision or dream he had now was his ideal future.

"I love you." He whispers to your sleeping form before the darkness overwhelms him again.

He wakes up again on the ship, in the same room, and on the same bed. The difference is that your warm body is not pressed against his, and the throbbing pain from his stomach spreads uncomfortably throughout his body.

He groans, sitting on the bed and looking around. His hairless eyebrows wrinkle when he sees one of your spies with him. He automatically grabs the hidden knife and attacks your spy before she notices that he woke up.

"My Lord Baron, I can explain…" The woman says this as he presses the blade against her chest. She stops talking when he cuts off her access to the air by tightening his grip on her neck.

"Where is my right hand?" He growls, sticking to the remains of his control when he refrains from killing her. However, he does not stop himself from making a light cut on your spy's neck. Years of experience have proved that people were more willing to talk after he took some blood from them.

"It really wasn't my idea. She decided so. She knew that you would not let her do what she was planning, so she had to somehow... get rid of you from there, my lord Baron."

"Hm... that sounds like her, but... I would like to hear more about that plan of her. Say something useful and I might even spare your life." Feyd purrs, lazily dragging the blade down her neck to her collarbone, making a small cut.

He preferred not to hurt your toy too much. He didn't know how you would react to the loss of this particular spy. She must have been someone you trusted to entrust him to her.

But that didn't mean that Feyd couldn't land his anger at you on her for leaving him behind and completely unaware of your actions.

"Long ago, the Bene Gesserit had only one reverend mother. Their order was small then, but it was developing well. A certain ritual was invented to ensure that the most powerful of them was in power. It… is about the struggle of life forces. I don't know exactly how it's done, but… lady Y/N said that they both have to die for one of them to survive. She… she knew you wouldn't let her, so she had to make you leave that rat's nest so she could get the job done." A cold shiver runs down Feyd's spine. He needs a moment to compose himself and process your spy's words before he speaks again.

"They both have to die? What do you mean?" He asks, unconsciously tightening his already painful grip on the woman. His hand, the one holding the dagger, trembles slightly as he impatiently stares at her, waiting for an answer.

"I... they have to... they... their hearts stop beating and... the one who is stronger and has more life energy takes over the other's powers and survives."

"So... she may lose and die?" Fed sees your spy swallowing heavily after hearing his question. Thanks to this, he already knows the answer to it.

Strangely, instead of the huge, red fury and bloodlust, everything he feels is fear. Since he arrived at Giedi Prime, he has never felt fear. His uncle made sure that this emotion did not prevent him from reaching the ideal that his uncle demanded from Feyd. But at this point, when the vision of your dead body appears before his eyes, Feyd feels almost paralysed by fear of your life.

"There is... a little possibilty, my lord Baron."

This information is enough for him to make a decision. He stabs your spy in the stomach and allows her to sit on a bed. He reaches the exit in a few steps and opens the door with a bang. A doctor and two soldiers are waiting in the corridor. They look at him with fear in their eyes when he comes out, covered in blood. Before they can speak and probably inform him about his state of health, Fed is already growling at them and giving orders.

"Heal her and bandage her. She was only fulfilling my fiancee's orders." Fed tells the doctor. He is pleased with the surprise he sees on your spy's face. He intends to enjoy informing everyone about his 'engagement' with you. If you could have your plans, he could have some of his too. "Tell the pilot to turn back. And call more ours. We will burn these rats' nests to the ground."

With this promise, he leaves the room, ignoring the pain in his trunk. He must have found you before Fremen left with you for another hideout. He had to be fast and precise if he wanted to have you safe by his side. Maybe he should also ask the doctor for a sedative. Just in case you were stubborn enough to fight him instead of cooperating with him.

"What do you think?" Atreides' question catches you off guard for a moment. You stop watching the Fremen as they prepare to leave the sietch and shift your gaze to Atreides, raising an eyebrow in question. "About them. About my speech there."

"Are you looking for praise?" You mock, taking a closer look at what exactly he's putting into his bundle.

"I'm looking for a second opinion. Objective. Analytical and thorough." He replies, tying the fabric as he waits for your response.

"They will do whatever you want. Isn't that enough for you?" You ask, licking your lips as you choose your words carefully. You can see beads of sweat forming on his forehead. Paul wipes them away with his hand, not yet aware of the poison that courses through his veins.

You wanted to make sure as much as you could that when the moment came to defeat him and take his life force, there would be no shadow of a doubt that you would emerge victorious from the duel between you. After he went through the Reverend Mothers ceremony, you could try to perform the old ritual of reclaiming power between you two. This hasn't been done for centuries. So you hoped that everything you remembered from the old scrolls was true and that Atreides wouldn't surprise you with anything.

Even if he was a Kwisatz Haderach, you're still going to defeat him. No one and nothing will decide your fate.

"For now, yes. But in the future, I will need their full devotion. After all, I won't be the one to rule them on Arrakis." You raise your eyebrows questioningly, curious as to what his big plan for the future might be.

"Who do you want to entrust them to?"

Silence falls between you as you both look at each other intently. You know he's judging you, wondering how much he can tell you and how much he can hide from you. And you have to be convincing enough to gain even a little bit of trust from him. You know that stabbing Feyd helped you a lot with that. No matter how much it hurt you to do it.

"To be honest, you have the best skills to serve as Governor of Arrakis. The only question is, will you be equally faithful to me?"

"Me? Why?"

"They're already afraid of you. Besides, I saw your power—you're quite a powerful Bene Gesserit. Even if you don't like being called that, you can't cheat or change your destiny, no matter what."

"But... it is not all about power and fate, though is it?" You ask, slowly approaching him. "It is... something more there. Much more than we know." You whisper, looking at him with your most captivating gaze. Feyd would have killed him and tortured you if he saw you flirting with someone else... but luckily he wasn't here. And you had to somehow lower Atreides' guard.

"Indeed." He mumbles back and takes a step towards you. His fingers gently caress your jaw, tracing it until his fingertips brush against your lips. "My mother told me legends about the birth of the most powerful of the Bene Gesserit. A woman who could bring thousands to their knees with a wave of her finger, tamed the most bloodthirsty of all beasts. Stilgar... has suspicions that you may be the mother of the one, the one to come. Of course, this conflicts with his perception of me as the chosen one."

He spoke the truth. You were the most powerful of the Bene Gesserit. But not because you were born according to their program. You simply had potential, and they had way too much time and no obstacles to train you differently. You were supposed to be their perfect pawn in their game, to provide them with the Kwisatz Haderach. And now… you will kill the one who was supposed to be him.

"Even so, you don't lose power. They still listen to you. More than anyone else." You say, shifting your gaze from his eyes to his lips. He licks them, holding your jaw tightly as he leans slightly towards you.

"I may be my father's son, but I'm not going to make the same mistakes. You know, it is much safer to be feared than loved because... love is preserved by the link of obligation which, owing to the baseness of men, is broken at every opportunity for their advantage; but fear preserves you by a dread of punishment which never fails."

"The prince Machiavelli." You say, knowing a quote from the book. You're a little surprised that he would read something like that. He also seems amazed that you know what book he took these words from.

"Indeed. Hmm... Maybe you're not that cruel and bloodthirsty Harkonnen witch people think you are. After all, you're a bit educated." Under any other circumstances, you would have kicked him in... his tender place for this. But now you have to smile sweetly, comforting yourself only with the thought that he will soon die at your hands.

"Believe me, Atreides. I am everything they talk about and more." You mumble before leaning in to connect your lips in a kiss.

Kissing him is… different from kissing Feyd. Less intense, less hot, and less passionate. With him, you don't feel that familiar thrill of excitement you feel every time Feyd literally devours you. This kiss is... too polite. There's not an ounce of desire in him, at least not on your part. You try to be persuasive, though, caressing his lips, but it's not the same plush softness of Feyd's lips. Your mind refuses to be fooled, and you realise with horror how deeply your new Baron has managed to get under your skin when you haven't been able to enjoy the kiss of any other man.

Atreides reaches for your hips, pulling you closer to him as he deepens the kiss, moaning into your mouth. At least he was the only one having fun out of the two of you. You place your hands on his shoulders, slowly pulling your hidden dagger from your sleeve as you let the man kiss you and explore your body with his hands.

You almost sigh with relief when his lips finally leave yours. He moves to kiss your neck, and you decide that this is the moment to start the ritual.

"Stay still. Don't move or speak." You use the voice on him. He stiffens in an instant, his eyes widening slightly as the steel of your poisoned blade presses against his neck. "You were right. It's better to make them afraid of you than to love you."

Out of the corner of your eye, you see him grab his hidden knife. But before he can stab you, you place your hands on his temples and recite the old formula, beginning the ritual. You feel yourself slowly starting to lose strength. You both kneel to the floor, life draining from the two of you.

It has begun. - you think as darkness takes over you.

This... is different from what you expected. Nowhere is it written what happens after the connection between the brains of the Bene Gesserit combatants is made. Or what kind of test are the two of you being put through to find out which one of you is stronger. You thought you and Atreides would stand in some imaginary arena and fight until one of you killed the other.

At least you would prefer this to the burning pain that overwhelmed you. You feel like you're immersed in pure, wild fire. All your nerves were burning. You felt your body, but at the same time, you were far from it. And all you could see and hear was blackness, screams, whispers, and songs in a language foreign to you. You feel like you've gone mad. Any pain you've felt doesn't compare to what you're going through right now.

You feel every cell in your body tear apart, and at the same time you remain in a void, unaware of anything except the feeling of pain.

But you endure it.

And suddenly, everything disappears. For a moment, you feel or hear nothing. It's just you and your consciousness as you anxiously await the turn of events.

Then various images begin to appear before your eyes—visions of the future and the past. You see every possible course of events that could occur and every single scenario that may happen. In some visions, both you and Feyd die; in others, it's just him or you; and in others, you both live to old age together. One element is constant. Only one. And you shudder every time you see the familiar figure of your future son ascending the throne as the Emperor and taking care of the entire world, restoring balance and peace.

All of Atreides' power has passed onto you. You knew everything. All possible futures. And they scared you more than you thought they would. And you feel completely different than you thought you would...

After some time and tens of thousands of visions, you return to your body. You begin to feel everything around you—the soft sheets beneath you, the softness of the pillow beneath your head, and the quiet beeping of the machines keeping you alive.

You struggle to open your eyes, hissing as the light hits your eyes. You look around, expecting to find a familiar hospital room, but instead you find yourself in Feyd's chambers. On fucking Giedi Prime.

"Welcome among the living." Feyd's hoarse voice reaches your ears. You turn your head towards him—too quickly, making you feel a little dizzy—but you open your mouth to speak anyway.

You have a terrible coughing fit, and your throat is drier than it has ever been on Arrakis. As you curl up on Feyd's bed, coughing up your lungs, you see him quickly fill a glass of water from the corner of your eye. He sits next to you, pulling you against his chest. You lean your back against him and drink the water greedily.

Feyd gently strokes your back, watching carefully as you drink the water. His gaze is watchful and attentive as he makes sure you drink the last drop from your glass.

When you finish, he takes your glass and walks over to the table to set it down. A cold shiver runs through you as you feel the absence of his presence. You remember how the last time you saw him, he was unconscious and injured. Because of you.

"I was more expecting to be chained to a wall in a prison cell. Or to have your harpies hovering over me and waiting for you to cut me up for them." You say jokingly, teasing him. But he doesn't laugh. You see him tense at your words before he slowly turns to face you.

"I had such an idea in my mind a month ago, when I found you pale as death in the arms of the equally dead Atreides. But I guess enough time has passed for me to get over it… or I just killed enough Fremen and doctors and Bene Gesserit women who couldn't bring you back to calm myself down."

"Month?" You ask, swallowing thickly as you bravely endure his stern glare.

"Mhmm… a month, two weeks and five days to be precise. This whole time, you were either losing your pulse or screaming until your throat was torn. Also, you had a fever that we barely managed to break down, and you were pronounced dead a few times, but who cares, right?" He asks casually, but you can clearly see the rage bubbling inside him despite his obvious concern for you.

"Oh… that's… a while."

"A little bit more than a while." He growls at you, playing with his dagger—the exact same one he gave you. You shudder as you see how much the blade has bent from the blood of the people you used it on.

"What about Atreides?" You ask, confused, wondering if it was really a good idea to bring this up now. Especially since he is playing with a poisoned dagger in his hands. And you used up the antidote to it (apparently) a month ago.

"I have his head. Do you want it on a silver platter, or should I just frame his tongue and hang it on the wall? Maybe right next to yours for being a liar and a traitor?" He asks furiously. But that's not what scares you the most. He's calm. Too calm and composed. And this was often how his anger manifested itself before he killed his victims.

"I... you know perfectly well that I had to do it. If I had done it differently, his... skills would have been lost. And I... now I see everything. I can prevent everything, I can make everything fine. Isn't that a big advantage for you? Have an oracle next to you?" You ask, slightly nervous about what he's going to do next.

"Depends on what this oracle wants to show me and what it doesn't want to show me. But since you know everything and the entire future, you probably know what I will do now." He says and heads towards the exit.

Your heart clenches, and you feel an inexplicable panic as you see him walk away from you. You can't stand how cold he was towards you. You have to do something. You can't just let him go.

"Feyd." You call after him and get out of bed to follow him. When you're on your legs, you lose your balance, and you would have fallen to the floor if Feyd hadn't caught you in his arms.

You dig your fingers into his shoulders, holding onto him as you breathe quickly. You look at each other for a moment, allowing yourself to immerse yourself in the closeness of the other one.

Feyd places his hand under your knees and picks you up in bridal style. He puts you on his bed again and pulls away to leave. You grab his elbow tightly and hold on, forcing him to stay by your side as you give him a desperate, pleading look for him not to leave you.

Feyd sighs, sitting next to you on the bed. He leans towards you and rests his forehead against yours. He closes his eyes, brushing his nose against yours. And you feel really calm for the first time in years.

"You have no idea... I have killed men for smaller things than that. The only reason you're still alive... is because I prefer to destroy you myself. Without the help of any sick rituals or poison. You'll be begging me to kill you, little witch. I'll make you go through the same damn pain you put me through. You'll be begging me to stop making you scream. Oh, and I'll make you scream much louder than becasue of this stupid ancient ritual."

You know he's mad at you. And he has every right to do so. But you can't take his words seriously. Not when you have irrefutable proof of the depth of his feelings for you. As he said, he killed for less. If he wanted to, he would have gotten rid of you or hurt you by now. But he didn't.

"I'll happily scream because of you, my Baron." You reply, placing your hands on his cheeks. You stroke his cheekbones with your thumbs, trying to memorise every little bit of his skin.

"I… I'm serious." He growls at you. He places his hand on your neck and squeezes it gently. You smile and press a kiss just near the corner of his mouth.

"Me too. Do it. Show me how loud you want me to scream for you." You challenge him, placing small kisses on his face.

"Y/N... I should have killed you ages ago, woman. You poisoned my mind, you stabbed me with a sword, you left me alone to deal with the mess you made, you forced me to worry about you while you slowly died in front of me day by day, and I couldn't do any-fucking-thing. So tell me, how can I get past this? Why is it that all I want to do is fuck you until I feel like you're really alive and around me?"

You bite your lip, trying not to moan at his words. You lick your lips and lean towards him, kissing him. He moans into your mouth and tries to pull away from you, but you grab his neck and pull him towards you. Your heart speeds up as your lips caress his as you give all of yourself to him in that kiss.

You gently massage his scalp and lie down on the pillows. You pull him with you as he starts to kiss you back. You moan into his mouth, wrapping your legs around his hips. He pulls away from you with a growl and presses his forehead against yours, trying to calm down for your sake. After all, you had just woken up... too bad his cock wasn't as sympathetic to you as you rubbed against him.

"I… my mother was a Harkonnen, you know? Maybe that's why I was so drawn to you. Like calls to like or something like that." You gasp, remembering the memory you saw. Feyd furrows his hairless eyebrows in surprise. A shiver runs across his skin, realising the power you've taken from Atreides.

"What else do you know?" He asks, caressing your cheek. You turn your head and press a kiss on the palm of his hand. You surprise him even more, but he's not going to protest when you show him affection. This was very rare in his life, and the fact that this small, voluntary gesture of adoration was coming from you made him even harder.

"That I don't want to lose you for some visions that may or may not happen. That you love me and that these months have been torture for you. That you hated me as much as you needed me to come back to you. That I… only want to think about us. I only care about our future, and I'm willing to watch this world burn if it means I can hold your hand until the end. with no fear that fate will make us hate each other. That I want you to be the only prophecy I care about."

"What about your escape from fate? You never wanted… to be part of this Kwisatz Haderach thing. Will you run away from me when you see that the path we are following leads inevitably to what you were so afraid of?"

His doubts are absolutely right. But that doesn't change the fact that you need him close to you right now. That you need his reassurance that everything will be fine, not his resentment. And you know it was wrong of you to demand from him things like that, but... nothing about your relationship was healthy anyway.

"Fuck it if I can't have us. Fuck it if I can't have you." You say and pull him in for another kiss. He moans in shock into your mouth but quickly responds to you with equal passion. You gasp as he grabs your waist tightly and lifts you up, making you sit on his lap.

"You said you love me." He gasps as he slowly removes your nightgown that he dressed you in himself.

"I did... I also stab you." You say as your hands reach up to start undressing him as well.

"You did. And you killed Atreides." He purrs against your jaw, placing kisses and hickeys there.

"I did." You groan, your hands shaking as you try to get rid of his clothes as quickly as possible.

"You handed me over to our people."

"I did. You are quite heavy." You giggle as he blows on your neck, tickling you, before sinking his teeth into it. You dig your fingers into his back, pulling him close to you.

"Why did you do this?" He asks, pulling away from you to look at you carefully, gauging your reaction, making sure you were always on his side, and doing everything for your mutual good. For his good.

"Because I decide about my fate. Not Bene Gesserit, not any Atreides, not you or anyone. Only me. And I want you. And love you. And need you. But only as my equal... and if you will have me."

"I won't let you go anymore." He warns, laying you down on the bed and towering over you.

"I will never want to leave." You promise, looking into his icy blue eyes and stroking the scar on his lower stomach—from the wound you gave him.

"Good."

"Good."

"Say it again."

"Good?" You ask teasingly, pressing kisses to his neck and giving him a few hickeys, marking him as yours with more than just his scars.

"No. You know what."

"I love you."

"About damn time." He growls, devouring your mouth. You moan as he bites into your lower lip. You both don't hold back anymore. Feyd marks you like a map, as if he wanted to memorise all the sensitive places that made you moan and writhe in pleasure, pressing into his muscled body.

You forget for a moment the whole world, everything you've done for him, everything you both should have discussed—all you can think about is Feyd. About wanting to be closer to him, about needing him as desperately as he needs you. So how can Feyd resist you when you're so willing to take him in? When he had dreamed of this moment for years? When can he finally satisfy his desire for your body?

He trails his kisses lower, gently taking your nipple into his mouth and cupping your other breast, massaging it. You moan, scratching his scalp, throwing your head back against the pillows, and grinding your hips against his.

You're both starting to get annoyed by the underwear that's preventing you from clinging to each other the way you want. Feyd rips your panties off of you, wasting no time in pushing his fingers into you. You whine, thrashing around on the bed, wanting more and yet too sensitive for anything else. You open your eyes and gasp at the sight of his full, erect length rubbing against your thigh. Feyd pinches your nipple, making you moan and shifting your gaze to him.

"Eyes on me, little witch."

"But... ach!" You moan as his fingers speed up inside you, tears forming in your eyes as your hips move in time with the rhythm of his fingers as you chase your orgasm.

"Listen to your Baron. Eyes on me." He pauses to slap your pussy. You moan, biting your lower lip. "And don't hold back any sounds. Or I'll punish you like I should have since you woke up."

It's very hard to keep your eyes open for him. Especially when his fingers massage your clit so perfectly and fill you up. You reach your hand to his hard cock on your thigh and rub it gently.

He growls, kissing you hard and punishingly, as you try to speed things up and make him lunge at you in a frenzy of lust, when he wants to tease your pussy and punish you accordingly first.

For a month he waited by your bedside, bravely holding you through the stages of your screams and high fevers, making sure you were alive, breathing, and your heart was beating in a rhythm he had memorized. He deserves to have some fun with you...

"Feyd... please..." Your moans, the kisses you place on his jaw, and the way your fingers caress the scar on his muscled stomach—the one you gave him yourself—make him lose his restraint, which was already frail and weak. At least that's how he explains his desire to immediately fulfill your wish.

His arms wrap around you tightly as he gently pushes into you, making sure his entire alabaster length will fit inside you. He stops, cursing in his tongue and resting his forehead against yours as he gives you a moment to adjust to his length. Finally. He finally feels you all around him. And you're tighter than he dreamed.

"Damn… you little witch…"

"I know..." You gasp, wrapping your arms around him, and kiss him hungrily, basking in the feeling of fullness as his length perfectly fills the void inside you. It's warm. It's nice to feel him so close to you. It's nice to be with him. You moan as he starts to move slowly, testing how far he can go.

Feyd growls, picking up his pace when you don't protest, his hips bucking wildly against yours, and you wrap your legs around his waist and pull him closer.

He grips one of your hips and cups your cheek with the other, making sure your eyes are focused on him. He kisses away the tears streaming down your cheek, licking them off your face. He kisses you fervently and hungrily, catching every moan and grunt you make as his hips grind against yours. A wet sound echoes through the room, occasionally interrupted by a moan from either of you as you finally come together in the most primal, animalistic way, demanding each other.

"Mine. Only mine." Feyd growls into your neck; his thrusts are faster and more precise, making you bite your lip to hold back your moans, but he doesn't let you do it for long. He wants to feel and hear all of you. He wants to revel in his victory. That's why he kisses you, biting your buttom lip to the blood. He pulls away and leans his forehead on yours as he listens to the little sounds you make as he fucks the brain out of you. "Can you feel how deep I am? How well am I filling you? You will be a beautiful Baroness. Fuck. My future wife. The mother of my children." He moans in your ear. You don't answer; you take ragged breaths, listening to the squelch of your joined bodies echoing around his chambers.

"You were meant for me. Just like I was for you. I will never let you escape again, I will never again let you out of my sight for more than a second, I will never again let you fight against the world and fate alone. We are the two sides of the same coin... WE. ARE. UNITY." He growls, making one last few hard pushes into you, making you both cum. He captures your lips in a kiss, muffling both of your screams as you fall apart around him, feeling his warm seed flood your womb.

You shake, wrapping your arms around him tightly, trusting him to hold the weight of both of you as you see nothing but white light in your orgasmic haze. You can't feel your legs, but you know you're still clenching them tightly around him. Your mind is empty; you feel amazing, electric bliss.

And for that moment you knew what cosmic love really meant. And you would fight with anyone to be able to experience it whenever you wanted.

"I love you." Feyd whispers, pressing a kiss to your temple and tightening his grip around you.

He slowly pulls out of you and collapses next to you, still holding you in the iron grip of his arms. You lazily snuggle into him and trace the scar you gave him with the fingertip of your finger. Guilt grows within you, and for a moment, you think that he purposely allowed this scar to remind you of what you did.

You decide to talk to him about everything tomorrow. It was just the two of you for now, and you were going to enjoy this as long as you could. You place your head into the crook of his neck and take his hand in yours. You tangle his other hand in your hair and snuggle into him, sighing as you feel his touch, warmth, and scent around you.

You both fall asleep cuddled together. And for a moment, you allow yourself to be in bliss of his touch and closeness, not worrying about any politics or issues that you should discuss instead of... giving in to something you have wanted for a long time.

From now on, you decide your fate.

Only you and Feyd.

That's why you make sure that your first child will be a daughter.

Taglist: (I REALLLLY hope that everyone who wanted to be here is here...😅 I;m sorry if I missed someone <3) @skymoonandstardust @prettybubblesintheair @thegabbyh @himesuedi @wo-ming-bai @beebeechaos @mamawiggers1980 @moonsoulk @avidreader73 @heartarianagran @dreamlandcreations @ancientbeing10 @lovereadingfanfic @jeansjoie @workof-a-rr-t @aixicl @ladyredstar1991 @evangelineimagine @hobobobo-fett56 @happyant3 @marsflys @aaaaaamond @kamcrazy123 @k1swass @yum-yahgurt @tyns13 @oh-you-mean-me @menari @tyns13 @vaf24 @dacreshoney @emrennoll-blog @tian-monique @slightlypossessed @celestialadrift @lauramooij05 @flaps200 @chixnugg22 @aaaaaamond @marvelfangirl04 @sw33tsnow @emeraldsgirl @imyourbubblegumpop @tempt-ress @harkonnin @k1swass @alana4610 @cloudroomblog @lotus-888 @lowlyloved @spoolsofgreenspoolsofblack @w3ird11 @kythefangirl25 @hobobobo-fett56 @nj452896 @oneandonlybbygrl @noirecatt @iloved1lfs0 @mamawiggers1980 @lololfixu @barnes70stark @obsessedvibee @aaaaaamond @workof-a-rr-t  @oneandonlybbygrl @alexa4040 @lowlyloved @toertchen @em-100 @caintheking @justarandomflowerchildofthenight @hrtifyeren

[wonwayne]

whatever you say ☁️ park jongseong

pairing : bf!jay x fem!reader genre : tooth-rotting fluff warnings : none! word count : 0.85k

a/n : i don't really know what this is. but it's cute. (just HAD to write on this thought [creds to @atrirose] because husband material jay !!)

home. nothing felt better than coming back from an achingly long work day to the smell of you. closing the door softly behind him, jay let out a breath he didn’t even know he was holding. comfort always seemed to creep up on him like this, with subtle reminders in the air that you would always be there for him, ready to—

“help me build the titanic?”

you beamed up at your boyfriend, legs crossed on the living room carpet, encircled by seemingly infinite lego pieces in red, white, yellow, and black.

not quite what jay was expecting to come home to. but he approached your little recreation ground anyway, lunging carefully towards the box packaging. “another 2000+ piece lego set?”

“9000!”

“oh—”

“9090, to be exact.”

jay nodded, kneeling down by the carpet to match your eye level. “... that’s really—”

“wait no, 9092! sorry i keep correcting myself, it’s just that i forgot to add the jack and rose minifigures.” you pointed proudly at the thumb-sized people. “once i’m done with the ship, i’m going to have them at the bow like that iconic scene. and then maybe every few days i’ll move them to the floor and put rose on a little door.” you held lego jack up to your boyfriend’s face. “you look just like him.”

he glanced to the side before mirroring its boxy grin. “do i?” you nodded vigorously. “well that’s very flattering, y/n, but i should say,” and he looked emphatically at the heap of legos strewn between him and you, “you’re making it very hard for me to hug you. any closer, and i’m bound to step on a lego here.”

your expression morphed instantly from disquiet to delight. god, you could never get over how adorable he was when he said the sweetest things in the sternest voice. “i’m sorry!” you burst out, sweeping the pieces to the side and jumping into your boyfriend’s arms. “i’ll be right at the door to hug you next time.”

“thank you, love,” he murmured as he kissed the top of your head, “keep working, i’ll make dinner and help build as soon as i can.”

even more adorable, you thought, for calling your lego-building “work.”

tragically, jay found you breaking your promise just a few evenings following. anticipating your pretty face peeking out of the doorway, he practically raced out of the apartment elevator. but instead of anything to look for, he was met by faint screams and hearty laughs — your laugh among them, and panic consumed him. who would she be laughing with in OUR apartment besides me? why the screams?? what if she’s—

bursting the door open, he was yet again unable to make sense of… you. you, belting taylor swift at the top of your lungs, dappled with rainbow light under the mini disco ball you’d set up in the far corner, mid-cartwheel with a wireless mic in one hand, dangerously close to crashing into both your partners in crime, jake and sunghoon.

they steered clear of you swiftly before freezing at the sight of a narrow-eyed jay.

“uh, y/n,” sunghoon began (poor boy), “i think—”

“—BUT THIS LOVE IS BRAVE AND WIIIIIIIILLLLLDDDDDD,” you persisted, thoroughly unaware of your boyfriend’s presence, and nearly assaulting the sofa as you landed from the cartwheel.

it took you till the end of the song’s bridge to notice your friends’ conspicuous silence. following their uneasy gaze, you saw jay maintaining the hardest poker face you’d ever seen him wear before.

but forget the “oh hi”s, skip the “let me explain”s — you glided over to where jay stood by the entrance and, offering the mic to him, sang quietly: “and i neverrrrrr saw you comiiiiiiiiiiing.” you sounded impossibly good.

“you should’ve,” he said, voice low, and with the hint of a pout, “seen me coming.” at a louder volume, he addressed the boys while his arms wrapped around your waist, “why do i have to come home to these two losers making a mess on a respectable thursday evening?”

jake opened his mouth to protest, but jay’s attention was already back to you. “you invited them?” he asked casually, pulling you closer in.

“i was getting bored without you,” and it was your time to pout, “had to unwind somehow.” you conveniently left out the detail that you had organized the whole “mess” in the house, and that the other two had played absolutely no part.

“with karaoke at the ungodly hour?”

“well, only because you arrived at an ungodly hour.”

he paused for a moment, then conceded, “right. of course, love, i’m sorry.”

you missed jake’s priceless expression as he made eye contact with jay across the room.

“P A R T N E R  P R I V I L E G E,” he mouthed as aggressively as he could.

jay scoffed, and buried his chin deeper into the crook of your neck.

the only privilege, he would tell the boys later, was that of him having you in his life.

[eqt-95]

💙 for supercorp , pretty please!

oh brilliant! yes of course!! i was hoping for this one so i'd finally be motivated to write the scene that was inspired by this post. i have literally had it saved in my tumblr drafts since february. and yes i just scrolled through half of my 784 drafts to find it.

- - - - - -

“Actually no, we're not ‘dating’. We're bound together for infinity. Like the stars. So, fuck you, actually-”

Alex clicked the remote, freezing the screen to perfectly capture a very outspoken, very drunk Lena Luthor doing an uncanny impression of Taylor Armstrong in front of a throng of paparazzi.

“Can we watch it again?”

“No,” Alex answered tersely, setting the remote next to three overflowing folders, a coffee mug that needed to be filled with something a little stronger, and a cellphone she had to silence after the hundredth social media notification sent it rattling off the table.

Nia slouched in her chair with a ‘hmph’ and muttered something that sounded like garbled nothing to normal ears but very much like ‘never any fun,’ to Kryptonian ears.

“Right,” Alex continued, her attention directed across the table. She’d spent the majority of the recording with her face downturn and fingers pinching the bridge of her nose in what could only be described as ‘resignation’ mixed with the ‘I’m not mad, just disappointed’ strategy she had been trying with Esme.. “Care to explain what compelled you to proclaim you... infinite, cosmic link with Supergirl?”

“Not really, no,” a much more subdued, much less drunk Lena answered.

“Seems pretty self-explanatory,” Nia chimed in, spinning in the chair next to Alex. “Luthor can’t hold her liquor.” She bounced a clicky pen on the table-surface to accentuate the point. Alex gritted her teeth.

“I most certainly can-”

“Channel 7 says otherwise,” Nia grinned. The clicky pen was pointed accusingly.

“That,” J’onn began, and then pen clicked in offense, “is the least of our concerns-”

“Exactly,” Alex interrupted while blindly swiping the pen from Nia's hand and slamming it onto the table. “Do you have any idea how many conspiracy theories have started because of this? This has gone national-”

“International, actually,” Brainy added. “Canada and Australia have both picked it up.”

“Which means it’s only a matter of time before the rest of the world is needling around about- about…” Alex’s face plunged closer to a shade of raspberry.

“About what, Alex?” Lena asked. She leaned forward, arms crossed with her super sexy calm, cool, and ceo-collected face. It was almost working too, except for the mischievous glint and flicker of her eyebrow that revealed she was not taking this remotely serious enough for the eldest Danvers sister. “About my throuple with Kara Danvers and Supergirl?”

Alex’s face found her hands. Nia sputtered laughter from behind her own. J’onn stared longingly toward the closed door. Brainy scowled in confusion.

“It cannot be a throuple if two members are the same person,” Brainy said, glancing quickly toward Nia who nodded in confirmation.

“CNN doesn't know that. But fine, call it infidelity, stepping out on-” Lena offered lazily.

“Still not the point. You’ve jeopardized Kara’s secret identity,” Alex interrupted crossly. “And now you've put her in danger of-”

“I thought it was sort of sweet.”

Five pairs of eyes turned toward Kara who, until now, had remained silently observed. She sat at the head of the table wearing her suit and a recent bout of puppy love. Two pairs of eyes were gobsmacked, the third was failing to hide the glee over the entire exchange, and the fourth included a quick wink that made Kara’s cheeks flush even redder and bat her figurative tail even harder.

“Sweet. Right, well,” Alex began again, “‘Sweet’ doesn’t exactly handle the problem, does it?”

“It’ll blow over; these things always do,” Lena added. “We can have Andrea run a boring fluff piece about my night on the town being a slew of misguided comments. Say I said the earth was flat and that I challenged the Second Law of Motion or something. Make it dry. Everyone will chalk it up to part of that.”

“Fine.”

“And we can put this whole thing to-”

“Don't you dare-” Alex warned.

“-bed.”

Alex sighed, J’onn climbed to his feet like a tired high school teacher, Nia bounced giddily in her chair, and Lena was already glancing over at Kara and giving her a look that suggested they were not going to make it through the day without a trip to the broom closet. 

Kara's cheeks flushed even redder if that were remotely possible.

•••••••

And so a fluff piece was written, the tabloids took a few lazy swipes at another Luthor edging toward instability, and then the story deflated entirely into obsolescence. The news cycle moved on, Alex's blood pressure returned to normal, and Kara was permanently living on cloud nine.

Everything was fine.

Everything was great.

Everything was going swimmingly.

Until the second video was discovered.

From the same night.

Nia brought popcorn. J’onn brought a heavy sigh. Alex brought a decade of instantaneous aging. 

“Care to explain?” Nia asked with her best angry-Alex impression. 

Meanwhile Alex was struggling to unclench her jaw.

“Deep fake?” Lena offered lamely.

“Deep fake,” Alex parroted. “You think someone somewhere invested the time to deep fake Lena Luthor and Supergirl making out? For what? Fun? Kicks? Laughs?”

“They already spend hours writing steamy fanfiction,” Lena shrugged. 

“They what-?” Alex choked.

“Hot, steamy, inspired sex, really-”

“No-”

“Kara, darling, do you remember the one with my desk and the full-length windows?”

Kara flushed but nodded. Nia squealed with delight. Alex had had it.

“Enough-”

“Or the one where we lived in an alternate universe and you were a cowboy and was your-”

“Stop. Stop it.” 

Lena leaned back into her chair, a smile of victory spreading across her face.

“I’m just saying, stands to reason someone might show us in the throws of deep, passionate-”

“I don't want to know. I don't. Want. To know,” Alex interrupted, hands cupped around her ears.

“Cosplay?”

Again five pairs of eyes turned to Kara. 

“Could've been cosplay.”

“I can't believe… J’onn can you… handle… this,” Alex waved between the two.

“Should we watch it again?” Nia suggested. “Just to check Kara's theory.”

And without preamble, she clicked play again. It was far fuzzier, far more amateur, and far less deniable than the first.

“Charlie, Charlie, baby look here,” the phone holder shouted over a group of laughing, tipsy NCU students. “Do the impression again, please? I want it for-”

“Yo, yo, check it out.” 

“Is that-?”

The camera pivoted from the ginger-haired Charlie to a dark alley between 

“Oh damn, is that Supergirl?”

“And… Lena Luthor?”

“I knew it. I told you!”

The stage whispers were doing far more for Alex’s discomfort than the shaky camera zooming 2x onto what was very clearly Supergirl pressing Lena Luthor into a wall and doing a very good job of ripping Lena’s $1,200 blouse open. 

“Ooph, Mrs. Fischer is not going to be happy about that,” Nia commented.

A glitter of buttons bounced off the sidewalk, and Supergirl’s mouth was moving hungrily and decidedly across the exposed skin.

“We’ve seen enough,” Alex chimed in and reached, some might say ‘desperately’, for the remote in Nia’s hands. “Once already scarred me for life-”

“But we won’t know until we see drunk, cosplay-Lena’s face. It’s for science, Alex,” Nia answered, clutching the remote like the lifeline to a sinking ship and climbing onto and over the conference table just as ‘cosplay’-Lena pulled ‘cosplay’-Supergirl’s mouth back to her.

“Bullshit,” Alex hissed, making quick work of scattering across the same table. 

Meanwhile ‘cosplay’-Supergirl’s hands were no longer visible and the gang of NCU students were actively chanting them on. “Nia Nal, if you do not turn that off right now-”

The chase continued under the table, over three chairs, and around a trash bin Nia knocked over in a valiant attempt to slow her assailant. And while Nia and Alex made a mess of the conference room, ‘cosplay’-Supergirl was making an absolute mess of ‘cosplay’-Lena’s bun-

“Never!” Nia huffed and side-spun before making a poor calculation and tripping over an empty chair. Alex saw her window and lunged, tackling Nia, gripping the remote free and slamming pause just as ‘cosplay’-Lena found the zipper to ‘cosplay’-Supergirl’s suit.

“Do you have any idea the-” Alex’s vitriol stopped in its tracks. Why? Because they were totally and completely alone. No Brainy or J’onn and worse, no Lena or Kara. “What… where’d they go?”

“Probably the broom closet,” Nia mused.

- - - -

ask game

[babydollmarauders]

TIMELESS — JACK HUGHES

jack hughes x fem!reader

surprise song! part (and final part) of the Speak Now Fic List

summary: in which y/n writes she and Jack’s first dance song and it’s Jack’s first time hearing it

notes: Taylor doesn’t exist in this alternative universe, and you’ll understand why! (2.5k words)

“i want you to write our first dance song.”

when Jack had told me that just five months ago, i was at a loss for words.

i’m no pop star, by any means, and i’ve never desired to be one. i dabble in song writing as a way to release my anxiety and that’s it.

i’ve bounced lyrics off of Jack for as long as i can remember. we went from facetimes in high school, after practice, singing him verses i was unsure of, to sitting beside him in bed, my guitar in my hands as i tried to work out lyrics and having him put his two cents in.

he knew i never planned for anyone else to hear them. they were for he and i’s ears only. yet he still complimented my voice, my lyricism, the instrumentals i played out in the dead of night.

he told me i wrote like a poet. he called me the greatest storyteller who’s ever lived.

but the greatest compliment, and also the greatest challenge, he’s ever given me, was to write the song to which we’ll have our first dance as husband and wife. to write our love into the purest form of art.

it took me four months to write what our love felt like, into words. constant lyric changes, and multiple instances of scrapping a song altogether and starting anew. it took another month for me to get it all made in a rented studio. recorded and produced into the song it is now.

but as i took so long to perfect it to my liking, i took the greatest risk of my songwriting journey. i never once bounced lyrics off of Jack. i wrote only when he was on roadies, hiding my journal inside of an old blanket that sits on the high shelf in our closet when he was home.

i wanted this song to be a complete surprise once it was finished. i wanted him to only hear it once it was in its perfected form. and that would be today.

my leg bounces on the couch, my fingers playing with the fringed side of the decorative pillow that lies within my lap, as i wait for Jack to get home from practice.

my nerves are quickly rising, my anxiety getting the best of me. if he dislikes this song, then i only have one month to create an entirely new one.

i feel sick. like i could both pass out and lose my breakfast at any moment.

my head perks up as i hear the apartment door open, the un-hushed whispers of Jack and Luke reaching my ears, and when they step into the living room, the signature smile on Jack’s face brightens.

“hi, baby.” he grins, bounding forward to press a kiss to my forehead. “i didn’t think you would be awake already.”

“i got it.” i rush out, the monotonous small talk of the moment not appealing to me in the slightest.

“got what, doll?” Jack’s brows thread together in confusion, and i can hear Luke’s pots and pans clattering in the kitchen.

“the final demo of our first dance song.” my teeth sink into my bottom lip, watching realization settle over Jack’s face. “the producer sent it to me this morning.”

“that’s great, baby! why do you look like your gonna throw up?” he laughs, taking a seat beside me on the sofa.

“because i’m scared you’re gonna hate it.” i confess. “i spent so long on this one song, making it into something i’m proud of, but it all means nothing if you don’t think it’s good enough.”

“hey.” he coos softly, a gentle hand raising to cup my cheek. “i love everything you write. and i know that this song is gonna be no exception.”

his forehead rests against mine, my eyes fluttering shut as i take a deep breath.

“are you ready to hear it?” my words come out in a whisper and i can feel him nod against me.

“i’ve been ready since the day i asked you to write it.” i pull back to smile at my fiancé, heaving out a deep sigh.

“hey Luke?” he calls out, getting a distracted ‘yeah?’ in return. “you mind giving us a few minutes alone?”

“uhh-” Luke peeks through kitchen entryway. “‘in my room’ alone? or ‘leave the apartment’ alone?”

“in your room is fine.” i assure him gently and he nods.

i watch as he turns the stove off before walking to his room. as soon as his door shuts, Jack is turning to me with an excited smile.

“okay, let’s listen!” my hand shakes as i lean forward, clicking on my laptop that rests on the coffee table, pressing play on the file.

the first notes echo throughout the living room, the gentle guitar strums causing Jack’s eyes to crinkle as he smiles softly, bobbing his head, his eyes glued to the laptop screen.

“Down the block, there's an antique shop

And something in my head said, ‘Stop,’ so i walked in

On the counter was a cardboard box

And the sign said, ‘Photos: twenty-five cents each’

Black and white, saw a '30s bride

And two lovers laughin' on the porch of their first house

The kinda love that you only find once in a lifetime

The kind you don't put down”

he looks over at me, confusion written across his face, but his eyes still shining with joy.

“And that's when i called you and it's so hard to explain

But in those photos, i saw us instead

And, somehow, i know that you and i would've found each other

In another life, you still would've turned my head even if we'd met”

his eyes grow softer, my cheeks heating up.

sure, i’ve written love songs about Jack in the past, but this one was special. this one speaks a truer and deeper meaning than any of my past songs.

“On a crowded street in 1944

And you were headed off to fight in the war

You still would've been mine

We would have been timeless

I would've read your love letters every single night

And prayed to God you'd be comin' home all right”

his smile is gentler now, his eyes glistening with unshed tears as he snakes his hand over to hold mine, and i know he’s thinking about the same thing as me.

remembering the time early on in his NHL career, when i confessed to him that every time he went on a roadie, i had so much worry that he would get hurt and i wouldn’t be there for him. when i admitted that, regardless of me not being a highly religious individual, i prayed before every game that he would come out okay. that he would come home in the same condition as he left.

“And you would've been fine

We would have been timeless

'Cause i believe that we were supposed to find this

So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine

We would've been timeless”

salty tears roll down my cheeks at the sight of his, gathering on my chin and dripping down onto our conjoined hands, gripped tightly together in my lap.

“I had to smile when it caught my eye

There was one of a teenage couple in the driveway

Holdin' hands on the way to a dance

And the date on the back said 1958

Which brought me back to the first time I saw you

Time stood still like somethin' in this old shop”

he pulls me closer, until i’m practically sitting on his lap, pressing his lips to my cheek, and i wonder if he’s thinking back on when we first met too. but what he doesn’t know is that i saw him first. i’d never told him that bit.

how i silently pined after him for months until we really met. it’s written in my vows though.

junior year, when i first saw him in the school hallway and it felt like everything around me had frozen.

he had been standing at his locker, laughing about something that Trevor had said. i heard the laugh first, and my entire body felt warm. but then i turned and caught sight of him, and it felt like time had stopped. my heartbeat had sped up, everything around me drowning out until all i could focus on was him.

“I thought about it as i started lookin' 'round

At these precious things that time forgot

That's when i came upon a book covered in cobwebs

Story of a romance torn apart by fate

Hundreds of years ago, they fell in love, like we did

And i'd die for you in the same way, if i first saw your face”

our foreheads press against each other, my thumb wiping away his tears.

“In the 1500s off in a foreign land

And i was forced to marry another man

You still would've been mine

We would have been timeless

I would've read your love letters every single night

And run away and left it all behind

You still would've been mine

We would've been timeless

'Cause i believe that we were supposed to find this

So, even in a different life, you still would've been mine

We would've been timeless”

his lips slot against mine, perfectly placed in harmonious synchrony, our fallen tears mingling together upon the meeting.

“Time breaks down your mind and body

Don't you let it touch your soul

It was like an age-old classic

The first time that you saw me

The story started when you said, ‘Hello’

In a crowded room a few short years ago

And sometimes there's no proof, you just know

You're always gonna be mine

We're gonna be-

I'm gonna love you when our hair is turnin' gray

We'll have a cardboard box of photos of the life we've made

And you'll say, ‘Oh my, we really were timeless’”

my thoughts drift back to the first time we really met.

it was on new year’s eve in our junior year. Cole was having a joint new years and birthday party.

*** DECEMBER 31ST, 2019 ***

Cole’s house is crowded. insanely so.

i didn’t originally plan to come. but Cole’s become a good friend of mine through our shared history class, and he’s been blowing up my phone all day, begging me all day to attend.

so now here i stand.

alone in the crowded living room of Cole Caufield’s billet residence, a red solo cup in my hand as i people watch.

i’m unsure of what to do. Cole currently sits on the couch with a few of his hockey friends from the US National Development Program, and i feel awkward going over there. but i don’t actually know anyone else here.

i tend to keep to myself more often than not, which results in the rest of my friends being fellow introverts that would never be at a party like this.

“y/n!” my eyes grow wide, my head snapping to find where the call of my name had originated from, and i’m slightly surprised to find Cole grinning over at me, his hand waving in the air and motioning me over.

my eyes flicker beside him to see Jack sat next to Alex, both paying no attention to anything going on around them.

with none of Jack’s attention on me, i figure it’s safe to go over and wish Cole a happy early birthday.

i push my shoulders back, standing up straighter, attempting to push my way through a horde of fellow high schoolers.

but my walk is a lot less confident once i witness Jack’s gaze drifts towards me. i stumble a little, crinkling my nose as a guy i share pre-calculus with bumps me in the back.

“hi Cole.” i force a smile on my surely red face, fidgeting under the gaze of all the boys, but especially anxious now that Jack’s attention is on me.

“hey! you came!” Cole rises from his seat, pulling me into a hug, recklessly causing my drink to slosh in its cup.

“well you were texting me all day. you wouldn’t take no for an answer.” i chuckle as he plops back down to the couch with a sigh.

“i couldn’t throw my birthday party and not have my favorite girl show up!” he shouts, my face heating up. “oh! guys, this is y/n! she’s my friend from history!”

the guys all mumble out distracted ‘hey’s, no longer paying any attention to me, more interested in their new conversations or, in Trevor’s case, trying to charm a girl.

except for Jack. his baby blues are still locked on me, the corners of his mouth pulled up in a small smile.

“hello.” it’s only one word, but my heart races in my chest. i’ve been pining after this exact boy from afar for months, and now he knows who i am. “i’m Jack.”

“hi Jack.” i shake his hand, his touch sending shivers down my body.

*** PRESENT ***

Jack’s hand rubs my thigh, pulling me out of my thoughts.

“We're gonna be timeless, timeless

You still would've been mine

We would've been

Even if we'd met on a crowded street in 1944

You still would've been mine

We would've been

Down the block, there's an antique shop

And somethin' in my head said, ‘Stop,’ so i walked in”

*** ONE MONTH LATER ***

my arms wrap around my now-husband’s neck, my hands toying with the hair at the nape of his neck.

our family and friends watch on from their seats, Ellen’s eyes catching mine, tears already threatening to pour over.

the first guitar chords stream out from the speakers as Jacks hand wrap around my waist, and we begin swaying around the dance floor.

Jack’s eyes gaze into mine, smiling as he whispers the lyrics back to me, relieving some of my anxiety from our guests hearing my song.

i grin back at him, craning my neck to press a kiss against his lips as the song nears its end.

i purposefully avoid looking anywhere near the crowd, laying my head on his chest as the song ends, the final chords strumming.

his heartbeat echoes in my ears, quickening as he presses a kiss against the top of my head.

his words are mumbled into my hair, his lips pressed to my scalp- “our love is timeless.”

[lainalit]

Intertwined Hearts | An Elucien Playlist

"I can hear your heart beating through the Stone. Can you hear mine? "

I saw the Golden Hour Playlist from @areyoudreaminof and was inspired by it to also create my own playlist for Day One Fated for @elucienweekofficial on the themes of Tension, Growth & Healing that Sjm mentioned in her old facebook post about Elain & Lucien

The Playlist has 33 Songs with two Sides: Side A which is the Tension & Growth and Side B being the Healing & Coming Together The Genres are mostly folk/Indie, singer-songwriter, pop & new age

>> Click here to listen to it <<

Under the Cut you find the Tracklist & my favorite Lyrics Hope you enjoy listening 💚

Thank you to the commissioners @foreverinelysian & @fiercehildr for allowing me to use the Artwork by @pandyals_art as the cover

Favorite Lyrics

Where have you been hiding? You seem lost within your body and your mind A beam of light can still remind you who you are -The Secret Garden by AURORA

But despite all of my virtue I know that I'm the one who hurts you -The Garden by Flower Face

You're gonna be a strange companion Building his cage with disaster Tangled emotions Sunlit became my bond -Litha by Nadiiife

Flowers in my hair makes me wish that you were here When my mind goes away oh I hope that you’ll be near me -Flowers in My Hair by Wes Reeve

Stop you putting roots in my dreamland My house of stone, your ivy grows And now I'm covered In You -Ivy by Taylor Swift

And I'd give up forever to touch you 'Cause I know that you feel me somehow You're the closest to heaven that I'll ever be And I don't wanna go home right now -Iris by goo goo dolls (cover Kina Grannis)

Can we become we No longer known as just you and me Two separate lives now in unity Stuck here together but Will this always be just an arrangement -We Become We by Fiona Palomo & Milo Manheim

I'm an atom in a sea of nothing Looking for another to combine Maybe we could be the start of something Be together at the start of time -Start of Time by Gabrielle Aplin

And in the beginning, when land touched the sea The Earth was created around you and me And we keep on spinning from now on and on Tumbling and turning till all becomes one Becomes one -In the Beginning by Alice Merton, Fahrenhaidt

Seasons may change But we won't change Isn't it strange how different we are from all of our friends? -Yosemite by Lana del Ray

In the morn, I'll be wed to the bonniest boy And I'll bind my hand to his He is blood of my blood And bone of my bone I am bound to the love of him -Bound by Karliene

We only last a moment Our heartbeat's just a life But love can make believers never die So I will be yours if you be mine -Sweeter Place by SVRCINA

Honeybee Could you imagine where our lives would lead? That silly ring, it wasn't meant to be Luckily, you saw in me something I couldn't see -Honeybee by The Head And The Heart

Each day, you'd rise with me Know that I would gladly be The Icarus to your certainty Oh, my sunlight, sunlight, sunlight -Sunlight by Hozier

'Cause you are loved, you are loved more than you know I hereby pledge all of my days to prove it so Though your heart is far too young to realize The unimaginable light you hold inside -Light by Sleeping At Last

[calisources]

TAYLOR   JENKINS   REID   BOOK   QUOTES.   all   sentences   are   taken   from   various   of   taylor   jenkins   reid's   books.   mentions   of   sex,   marriage,cheating,   divorce,   soulmates   and   heartbreak.   change   names,   locations   and   pronouns   as   you   see   fit.

"People think that intimacy is about sex. But intimacy is about truth."

"When you realize you can tell someone your truth, when you can show yourself to them, when you stand in front of them bare and their response is 'you're safe with me'- that's intimacy."

"I had absolutely no interest in being somebody else's muse. I am not a muse. I am the somebody."

"Never let anyone make you feel ordinary."

“Men often think they deserve a sticker for treating women like people.”

“Don't ignore half of me so you can fit me into a box. Don't do that.”

“I’m under absolutely no obligation to make sense to you.”

“It’s always been fascinating to me how things can be simultaneously true and false, how people can be good and bad all in one, how someone can love you in a way that is beautifully selfless while serving themselves ruthlessly.”

“Sometimes reality comes crashing down on you. Other times reality simply waits, patiently, for you to run out of the energy it takes to deny it.”

“Heartbreak is a loss. Divorce is a piece of paper.”

“I spent half my time loving her and the other half hiding how much I loved her.”

“I think you have to have faith in people before they earn it. Otherwise it's not faith, right?”

“When you're given an opportunity to change your life, be ready to do whatever it takes to make it happen. The world doesn't give things, you take things.”

“Passion is...it's fire. And fire is great, man. But we're made of water. Water is how we keep living. Water is what we need to survive.”

“If she knew how often I was thinking about her, she wouldn't feel lonely.”

And my heart breaks for every single version of me that didn't end up with you.”

“No matter who you choose to go down the road with, you're gonna get hurt. That's just the nature of caring about someone. No matter who you love, they will break your heart along the way.”

“When you think of me, I hope it ruins rock 'n' roll”

“No one is just a victim or a victor. Everyone is somewhere in between.

“People are messy, and love can be ugly. I’m inclined to always err on the side of compassion.”

“Confidence is being okay being bad, not being okay being good.”

“How were you supposed to change- in ways both big and small- when your family was always there to remind you of exactly the person you apparently signed an ironclad contract to be?”

“You're all sorts of things you don't even know yet.”

“We love broken, beautiful people. And it doesn't get much more obviously broken and more classically beautiful than Daisy Jones.”

“We live in a world where exceptional women have to sit around waiting for mediocre men.”

“Just because something isn’t meant to last a lifetime doesn’t mean it wasn’t meant to be.”

“It hurts to care about someone more than they care about themselves.”

“Family is found...whether it be blood or circumstance or choice, what binds us does not matter. All that matters is that we are bound.”

“Nobody deserves anything,”

“It shouldn’t be wrong, to love you. How can it be wrong?”

“Isn’t it nice … once you’ve outgrown the ideas of what life should be and you just enjoy what it is.”

“Our family histories are simply stories. They are myths we create about the people who came before us, in order to make sense of ourselves.”

“I am absolutely positive that I need you more than I’ve ever needed another living soul,”

“If there are all different types of soul mates, then you are one of mine.”

“And taking pride in your beauty is a damning act. 

“Must be nice. To be able to be weak. I wouldn’t know.”

Better just to stay in the now and focus on what you can do better in the future.”

“Forgiveness is different from absolution.”

“There’s no room for you in my life anymore. And I don’t owe it to you to make any space.”

“That's what you do when you want something. You don't look for reasons why it won't work. You look for reasons why it will.”

“It's the ones who never loved you enough that come to you when you can't sleep. 

“Just because you can live without someone doesn’t mean you want to.”

“History is what you did, not what you almost did, not what you thought about doing. And I was proud of what I did”

“Alcoholism is a disease with many faces, and some of them look beautiful.”

I used to care when men called me difficult. I really did. Then I stopped. This way is better.”

“The truth often lies, unclaimed, in the middle.”

“I guess what I’m saying is it’s not all luck. It’s luck and being a son of a bitch.”

“But a good life is knowing people care about you, knowing you can take care of the people that count on you.”

“There was finally enough air within her for a fire to ignite.”

“Everything that made Daisy burn, made me burn. Everything I loved about the world, Daisy loved about the world. Everything I struggled with, Daisy struggled with. We were two halves. We were the same.”

“Love and pride don't mix.”

“I’m cynical and I’m bossy, and most people would consider me vaguely immoral.”

“When you find that rare person who really knows who you are and they still don't love you... I was burning.”

“Fate or not, our lives are still the results of our choices.”

“I have changed over time. That’s what people do.People aren’t stagnant. We evolve in reaction to our pleasures and our pains.”

“We are two people who are madly in love with our old selves. And that is not the same as being in love.”

“It’s a hard business, reconciling what the truth used to be with what the truth is now.”

But she was always the person I loved the most. She was always the person I would choose.

Water is how we keep living. Water is what we need to survive. My family was my water. I picked water. I'll pick water every time. And I wanted Daisy to find her water. Because I couldn't be it

“My heart hurts when you hurt because you are my heart.”

“You don’t need to find the perfect thing all the time. Just find one that works, and go with it.”

“You can only forgive yourself for the mistakes you made in the past once you know you’ll never make them again.”

“I'm not perfect. I'll never be perfect. I don't expect anything to be perfect. But things don't have to be perfect to be strong. 

“We loved each other and we lost each other. And now, even though we still love each other, the pieces don’t fit like they used to.”

“What's that saying? Behind every gorgeous woman, there's a man sick of screwing her? Well, it works both ways. No one mentions that part.”

“The Chosen ones never know they are chosen. They think everyone gets a gold carpet rolled out for them.”

“Your whole world can be falling apart, she thought, but then Springsteen will start playing on the radio.”

“Drunk words are sober thoughts,”

“...if you redeem yourself, then believe in your own redemption.”

“I want to be with someone who lives for me. I want to be with someone who considers me the love of her life. I deserve that.”

“No one goes around throwing caution to the wind unless the wind is blowing their way.”

“You are happier to have known him than you are sad to have lost him.”

“Love is forgiveness and patience and faith and every once in a while, it’s a gut punch.”

“It seems as if you see me exactly as I wish to be seen. There is no greater gift than that.”

“I've seen a lot of marriages where everyone is faithful and no one is happy.”

[vanfleeter]

Earplugs // JTK

Characters: Jake x Daughter (Lily) Warning: All fluff

Author's Note: I'm back with another installment of Dad!Jake, inspired from last night at the Taylor Swift concert lol.

Summary: Jake takes his fifteen year old daughter to Taylor Swift concert.

“Lily! We gotta get going!” Jake calls up the stairs.

“I’m coming!” She bounds down the stairs dressed in a shimmering tassel dress with matching shimmering boots. Her hair is braided with added sparkles.

“You look like a disco ball.” Jake teases as he hands her her coat.

“Mirrorball, Dad.” She says. “It’s ‘Mirrorball’.”

He holds his hands up in the air and cocks his head. “Alright, ‘Mirrorball’. I’m sorry, I never kept up with the Swifty lingo.”

“Lingo?” She says, raising her eyebrows at him. “How old are you?”

“You know what, get in the car or we’re not going.” He says waving her out of the front door.

Fifteen years later and Taylor Swift is still at it, making music and touring. Even though Tommy picked up on his music taste, Lily turned out quite the opposite. Instead of rock concerts, he finds him standing in line at a pop concert merch stand surrounded by other girls dressed similar to his own daughter.

“Dad, can I please get the hoodie?”

“Why does it cost $75?” He says, his face scrunching up.

“Same reason why your merch costs so much.” She retorts.

He sighs knowing she’s right. He fishes into his wallet and retrieves his credit card. “Just the hoodie?”

“What about a t-shirt?” She says, batting her eyes at him. “And a hat?”

He inhales and nods his head. He knew that he’d be spending money like crazy on her regardless. She’s the reason their credit card bills are so high. But he doesn’t care, he’ll spoil her just like he spoils her mom.

She squeals and throws her arms around him. “Thank you, thank you, thank you. I love you.”

“Mmhmm..” He hums with a chuckle.

In his peripheral vision, he can see her eagerly bouncing up and down on the toes of her boots as the lights slowly fade and the screaming grows louder.

Is this how it sounds for our shows? Luckily he was smart and wore ear plugs.

Seeing his daughter happy and excited to see her favorite artist made him smile more than the screams and loud music killed his ears. He even gave in a few times to be silly and dance with her. And despite being her dad, she still included him and loved being silly with him. There was no ‘Ew, Dad, stop..’ but more of ‘Dad, you have to scream this part!’ or ‘Dad, jump!’ to which he’d reply with “Grown men don’t jump to Taylor Swift’ resulting in her eye rolling him and forcing him to jump to anyways.

By the end of the night, his whole body ached. It wasn’t even his show, nor was he performing, but damn--He was going to need to relax in bed with a heating pack on his back.

Finally reaching home, he parks the car and exhales while leaning his head back against the seat. He looks in the passenger seat and finds Lily passed out with her head resting against the window. Her light up head piece is still flashing on top of her head. Shooting her mom a quick text, he climbs out of the car and goes around to the passenger side. Carefully opening the door, he caresses her head in his hand and gently pushes it upwards and back against the seat. He undoes the seat buckle and scoops her up into his arms and slides her out of the car, careful not to hit her head on the side of the car or the door.

When he sees her mother coming down the walkaway, he nods his head towards the car. “Her things on the floor in front of the seat.”

“She is out.” She says giggling at the sight of Lily passed out in Jake’s arms.

He chuckles. “It was a wild night.”

“Oh I’m sure it was.”

He carries her inside the house and upstairs to her bedroom. After her mother gets her changed out of her concert outfit and into her pajamas, he glances inside the room and listens as she whispers a soft goodnight to her before coming over to the door.

“Ready for that heating pack?”

“Very..”

As the two of them start to leave, he reaches inside to grab the knob to close the door when he hears Lily call out to him. “Daddy?”

Daddy.

She hasn’t called him that for a few years now.

“Yes Lilypad?”

“I had fun with you tonight,” She says. “Thank you for going with me.”

A smile spreads across his face. “I had fun too, thank you for allowing me to go with you.”

“Of course I’d let you go, you’re my dad.”

That I am.

“I love you daddy.”

“I love you too.”

Closing the door to her room, he starts to make his way down the hall to their bedroom when Tommy steps out of his room. “Have fun?” He says.

“Surprisingly, yes.” Jake says.

“Back hurts?”

“You have no idea.”

Tommy smirks. “Such an old man.” He teases earning a playful smack to the back of his head.

“Go back to bed, smartass.” He laughs, shoving Tommy back into his room and shutting the door.

Finally reaching the bed, he strips out of his shirt and pants and falls onto the bed on his stomach. “Babe?” He calls.

“Already got it heating up.”

“Thank you.”

He feels the bed dip beside him and her gentle kisses on his cheek. “You’re a wonderful dad.”

He smiles. “Yes, a wonderful dad who not only spent a whole body on concert tickets but another two hundred dollars on clothes.”

She giggles and kisses him again. “Yeah well, you made your daughter very happy and she’s very grateful.”

“Next concert she goes to, you’re going..” He says before burying his face into the pillows and groaning in pain.

[3332344444]

I swear I loved you

Warnings: Dilf!Johnny Cage, Age gap (Reader is 34, Johnny is 56), Blood, Dead (I think that is enough of a warning, actually). Actually I think this shit is sad soooo

Resume: Reader and Johnny are married and Reader is deadly injured. Something happens and they can find themselves again in another timeline

Writer note: I wrote this as my first time writing something about Mr. Cage, if you would like the second part of the fic, pls tell me about it and I will write it. Please listen to the song, I took a lot of inspiration from there

I can't let you go with grace.

Forgetting you is beyond me. You know I'm no stranger to pain. I won't release my grip unless they sever my hands or, at the very least, my fingers.

I don't want to set you free.

But I can't bear to witness your suffering any longer.

Today, in this moment, in this version of myself, I find myself back on our wedding day.

You, in that blue suit you adored. That day solidified that the sky's color truly belonged to you.

There you are again, waiting for me at the altar, a white rose on your suit.

And me, once more in my long white dress and veil, with my brother by my side. Clinging to Tomas like there's no tomorrow. Only he knew how terrified I was that day, supporting me so I wouldn't crumble.

Seeing familiar faces as I walked toward you was both comforting and heartbreaking. Seeing Kuai Liang and even Liu Kang made me believe the war could end, and we could finally be happy.

Despite our 22-year age difference, it all faded in that moment. Nothing else mattered, just your brown eyes looking at me and your restless hands waiting for mine.

Cassie smiled at me, crucial for me to feel accepted. After what happened with Sonia, I didn't want you both to suffer more. Luckily, you both found comfort in me, not as replacements, but as a refuge.

When I reached you, my brother handed you my hands like they were delicate flowers. And then he sat down.

Lifting my gaze and meeting your brown eyes, my soul sighed.

That day, we accepted each other and promised eternal love. Unknowingly, with that kiss, we bound our souls forever.

And even though these memories are beautiful and precious, unlike anything else in my life, I have to face reality. The truth now is me in your arms, fading away, promising to let us go.

This wound on my neck will not heal even with your faithful kiss. And I am not willing to see you cry again.

With the last strength that I have in me, I try to touch your cheek. I want to apologize for the blood that I left where I touched you, but I know I don’t have time for apologies.

“We need to let go, Cage,“ I told you as if it was nothing, even though I choked a little on my own blood. “I need you to know we will be bonded forever.“

I felt dizzy and tired. I just wanted to sleep, and the world seemed hurtful enough to even have me in it.

You were crying, and for one moment, I wanted to stay.

You held and even kissed my bloody hand. One rebel tear ran down my cheek.

“I need to find you in another life, in another timeline, beyond this world,“ You said crying. “It is not as easy to let you go as it seems.“

I did not have much time left, and I needed to make a promise with you.

As I could, I pulled my dagger and handed it to you.

“I… need you to take care of this… while I am gone,“ I told you. I could not hold you anymore, and in a few moments, I would lose the ability to speak too.

You looked at me, and fortunately, Kuai Liang grabbed you by the shoulder and told you to let go. I shut my eyes, ready to let myself go too.

You left me on the ground, but not before you told me how much you loved me.

The floor felt hard at first, but then it just became as soft as our bed. I opened my eyes as I wanted to see you go, but the only thing I found myself with was two white eyes.

“What the…” I said.

I did not really understand the situation until I realized I encountered with Liu Kang right in front of me.

I sat down, touched my neck and, to my surprise, I wasn't bleeding anymore.

Liu Kang gave me his hand and helped me to stand on my feet.

We were in a place with a lot of trees, and I could feel a breeze on my face. I was calm as I would never be in life. To my understanding, I was dead, but I did not understand why Liu Kang was there with me.

But he was there with me, and I hadn't seen him in a long time. I looked at him and hugged him tightly; I missed him so, so much.

“I missed you lots,” I told him. “It's so good to see you again.”

He laughed and held me tight. I felt his warmth and thought that death wasn't that bad.

I looked at him again, and he just smiled at me. He started talking.

“You died,” He said. “But I know how much you loved Johnny, and as I couldn't have another opportunity with Kitana, I would like to give you another opportunity with him.”

We started to walk along the trees, and I was very confused by his words. We were mere humans; how would he do that?

“I am very thankful, but how exactly would that be possible?” I asked him.

He laughed again.

“I am a god now; I will create another timeline, and I would like to consider the love that you and Johnny have. But with this, I have some conditions that I would like you to know,” He told me.

It was a lot of information, and he just spoke as if it was the most normal thing in the world.

“I can not explain to you many things, but over time, we will speak about it, I promise,” He spoke.

I trusted Liu Kang with my life; he was like a brother to me. I nodded, waiting for him to keep talking.

“You will meet a new Johnny, but he will be exactly the same one you loved. You will remember everything, but he won't. It's your decision whether to accept this or not; I cannot assure you will fall in love again, but I am almost sure you both will. There are things that are impossible to forget.”

I just thought about it. It was my Johnny, but It was not my Johnny at all. Was I willing to take the risk?

“I want to be with him in this timeline and in any other,” I said.

He nodded and smiled.

“I'm sure this will be the best for you both.”

[ride-thedragon]

At this point I think as a fandom, we've lost some of the crackship charm we once had. I can look up Ashara Dayne and Ser Davos and find results, But Nettles and Helaena have nothing. It's time to rectify that for my favourite girl and try to inspire some fanfics. Feel free to add more.

1. Daeron and Nettles

Think Enemies to Lovers, Captive of War drama like Jaime and Brienne or just some good old Gwen and Arthur-inspired love. Ivy by Taylor Swift coded, a She's all that inspired affair. I genuinely think that he's just trying to be there for her with this one. It happens and neither of them realise until You're in Love starts playing.

2. Baela and Nettles.

They would give the pot calling the kettle black in every argument. The Princess Bride-esque dynamic between them. Very Graham and Megan from but I'm a Cheerleader. Sapphic Pinning and Resentment should be its own genre. Sir Chloe's Michelle is my vision. We can even make a throuple with them and Jace or Alyn. Truly, I think they but heads until they kiss, building on resentment. I also think they would be the coolest couple.

3. Addam and Nettles

Kaz and Inej core.

But in all seriousness, I think Addam being loyal and Duty bound and Nettles challenging that idea is delicious. Solider of Duty x Solider for the People. A modern-day Persuasion story but gender-flipped if we put our minds to it. See you Again Kali Uchis and Tyler the Creator, that's all.

4. Nettles and Helaena

They just deserve better. That's all. Give me cottagecore sapphic romance with my best girls involves. Like the young lesbians from Barbie and the Diamond Castle. Lesbians raising kids together. Sheepstealer and Dreamfyre hatching eggs for the nieces and nephews. I just-

It would be so cool, I will by Mitski sentiment is already attached.

5. Alyn and Nettles

Now that we are here obviously she apologized for Sheepstealer, she doesn't need to but she did, He tries not to like her but can't help it. She wins him over and they hatch him an egg or something idk. Think The Princess Diaries: Royal Engagement, Mia and Nicholas, Flipped the movie if you will. Jealously plots would slay. For the song choice think Shameless Camila Cabello. Please remember that Alyn is younger than Netty by 3/4 years though.

6. Rhaena and Nettles

See now this is classic Friends to Lovers, Emma and Harriet if gay, perhaps, Bend it Like Beckham core definitely. Sofia by Clario inspired. Nettles doesn't leave Rhaena out because she's without a dragon and the same happens inverse. Sapphic confusion however, like Rhaena doesn't understand at first why she feels that way.

7. Nettles and Jace.

Now for the Mr Knightley and Emma Woodhouse of our time, the Kate and Anthony of Westeros. The potential for her just not listening to him when he tries to tell her how to ride a dragon. Or when she talks to him about the people he'll rule over eventually, Ygritte and Jon style. She's also the only bastard who doesn't look Targaryen, he can relate to that a bit. I think she's Fierce and he's Stubborn. Ungodly Hour by Chloe x Halle for them.

8. Nettles and Alys.

The Fire Witches of Westeros. I think they will be perfect as a ship. American Horror Story-esque characters. The two Witches in the story are obviously my favourites. It would be Jennifer's Body meets, the craft meets, and Suspiria. Willow by Taylor Swift becomes them.

This one was also a bonus more or less.

Anyways I just need to start to get a baseline story for my girl by the time the show gives her to us. So we have a general sense of direction, I'm tired of the mischaracterization of my baby. She's smart, resourceful, Cunning, Fearless, and not entirely loyal. She also curses, enough for it to be a character trait. Please remember this for her, I'm tired. I also know that Daemon loved her but she's too much fun as a character to limit her to him romantically in all her fanfictions, it is an interesting narrative to explore while we don't have exact answers but he gets romantic ships with anyone. She deserves more.

[sublimecatgalaxy]

Rafe w/ broken neck reader again pls :) you can include these lines if you want to hehe or you can work your own creative magic!! ily

"Nope, puppy dog eyes aren’t going to work this time!" or "stop pouting" <3

I got you bestie, I love you❤️

"I miss fucking you, dude." Rafe calls out suddenly from beside me after staring at the dark ceiling for ten minutes, bored out of his mind. I know my lack of movement, my lack of anything really, is really boring for him and I know taking care of me has taken a toll on him.

But oh my god he's getting so annoying.

"Dude, shut the fuck up." I laugh, reaching out to whack his thigh as he rolls towards me, ignoring the movie that he put on the TV. He curls up next to me, eyelashes batting cutely at me in an attempt to woo me over.

"I'm just saying, you're completely bed bound, laying like a couch potato but still looking immaculate." He groans, reaching out to rub my hips soothingly, the massage healing an ache that I didn't know I had. "You're like a feast and I'm a starving man." He presses a kiss to my shoulder and I grin with a simple eyeroll.

"You're such a whore." I giggle but it only fuels him more, his face smushing into the pillow beneath him in an attempt to stifle his horniness. "Stop pouting."

"I crave you." He mumbles into the pillow, rutting his hips dramatically into the bed a few times for good, dramatic measure and I giggle, wanting nothing but to throw my head back in laughter but the brace stops me.

"And I crave peace and quiet and a boyfriend who'll wait on me hand and foot."

"I wait on you with every fiber in my being." He flirts, propping himself up on his elbow and looks down at me with a soft look, hand reaching up to soothe the crazy hair that tangles in front of my eyes. "A handy?" He asks and I laugh loudly and exasperatedly, shoving him away from me.

"No! Rafe! Stop, puppy dog eyes aren't going to work this time."

"Can I have a kiss?" He asks with a pout, leaning towards me as his eyes move in a triangular movement between my eyes and my lips. I pucker my lips, giving him a simple peck on the lips but he tuts. "Not that pussy shit, I want a real kiss. I brushed those teeth this morning, I know they're clean so no using the 'my breath stinks' excuse'."

"Fine, get over here." I pull him in, cupping his cheek, pressing my lips firmly against his and he lets out a sigh of relief, sinking into the way that our lips sink together, his lips guiding mine to part as the kiss deepens.

"I"m like a preteen- popping one just from kissing you." He mutters into the kiss and I close my eyes with a snort.

"You're such a dork."

-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o-o- Taglist: @bubblebuttwade @rafelover2405 @leslienjazzy @sorceresss @grxnde-dwt @alex–awesome–22 @bunnietoof @niyamar1e @serialghost @plantlungs @geniusohn @akaliltimmytim @lilaalouuxx @xshariex @elliotsbeigeguitar @elle4404 @lelieja @srhxpci @joselyn001 @taysirene @spinkspanther @thedivineuphoria @peter-maximoffs @tsukishimawhore @poohkie90 @szlaco @distantsighs @nstyles4299 @wolflover384 @givemefoodandlovesstuff @vane28282 @yeswhatever33 @amirrahfranson @vvaalleennttiinna @f-mu @yaspillz @jeyramarie @skylievin@abbybarnes17 @jointherebellion215 @visiondaddy @steezysimfinds @its-ya-gay-boi-luigi @crunchytoenailsyum@glizzymcguirex @beth123lg @melovesmut @rafecameronswhore @ariianelle @write-from-the heart @vampviolets@haylee-e @honee-chai-tea @lokiandbuckywife

@officiallyunofficialperson@heyaitsklaudia@rosepetalsparks @bluetreecloud20 @scenesofobx @double-shot-of-tequila @1dluver13xx @colbysbrocks @iamasimpingh0e @loveshineslikethesky @id-3-kbro @diorsitgirl @errorfound101-allideasburnedout @neverwillknowme18 @ellyskey @taylors-folk @loversjoy @myaloveee @thyris-is @lagataprrr @aaaaslaaaan @witxhy-lexx @minjix @luvroseee @tee-swizzle @savageneversaw @admiringlove @hysteriahall @piceous21 @starlightandfairies @igotmajordaddyissues @drewstarkey-wife1 @manyfandomsfanvergent @revesephemeres

[itsgrimeytime]

Magnolia in May (Part Twenty Seven) || Rick Grimes (TWD) x Greene!f!reader Regency AU

Parts 1-20, 21, 22, 23, 24, 25, 26...

Taglist: @loliakeoghan23 @curlycarley @queenie32 @mgparker

rick grimes taglist: @golden-hoax @mgparker

AVAILABLE ON AO3

Inspiration (in honor of Speak Now Taylor's Version): Enchanted by Taylor Swift.

Summary: Your town was small, not the smallest you knew, but anyone of high fortune was the gossip of the week. Predictably, Richard Grimes was a thing of whispers -rumors of a search for marriage among the grassy hills. You weren't one to buy into town gossip, but something about him... just seemed a little too intriguing.

TW: none.

[[A/N: Live for this gif, it's the epitome of mim! Rick, except Judith is a bit older. Thanks for reading !!! ]]

The buzz of the street was comforting, a bit like the bickering of your home dinners -Headmistress speaking, Maggie biting back, and Beth and Father merely watching on. It was much of the same, just on a wider scale -words being said but you didn't listen not as though you were at home.

The stalls were busy and the street even busier, and it felt like Alexandria.

"You're Ms. Greene," someone spoke, you turned to listen, "-Mr. Grimes's courting you!"

That day at the ball, he'd asked you to stand by him -at the center of it all. All the eyes on you had been unnerving, but being by his side was important -he'd requested you.

In his concern, he must've forgotten the gossiping.

"I am," you hummed, moving along the space with certainty.

"Are you of great fortune?" The woman asked, not quite young but not quite old, "-Or perhaps you're pursuing him for-"

"I'm pursuing him to pursue him," you interrupted, turning to face her with a seriousness in your tone, "-nothing else."

Her lips pursed, dark brown hair framed her face and blue eyes staring rather intriguingly -like you were a sort of wonder.

"You say such a thing so firmly," she spoke, tilting her head, "-Do you truly believe it?"

"I much more than believe it, madam," you echoed, a bit distant -this battle was one you had won before, "-I live it."

She didn't follow you after such a thing was said, but the whispers that followed you only carried. Each crowd formed around you as if you were infectious -swerving and eyes downcast.

Oftentimes you missed old Alexandria, like the day you met Mr. Grimes where you could exist in harmony -no one of note. But you supposed now that you were here, you couldn't wish to be back there. He meant far too much to you to wish before him.

Far too much.

At the thought, something in your chest warmed, and you found something claws up your throat -you turned back to the woman, the crowd really.

"I love him-"

It wasn't an explanation, not really, and sure, they didn't need to know such things. But something in you wished to say it, to get it out -to tell people I love him and he loves me. He wishes to marry me-

"-if you must know."

The rest of the day went by rather uneventfully, no one chose to speak to you out of turn -only whispers followed behind you like a gust of wind. But by then, you didn't truly care.

You hadn't thought about the papers, not then anyway, but looking back on such a confrontation -you probably should have.

"Look at this darling," Headmistress motioned the paper to you, "'I love him,' says the lady of such elite courtship. Further comments to Mr. Grimes were made but he merely smiled at such words. The ring of a proposal is upon our ears, certainly, it will be the wedding of the century."

You peered over the paper, "The front page, it's certainly not worth such importance-"

"I beg to differ, my dear," Headmistress hummed, setting the paper in front of your Father without much other thought, "-Mr. Grimes being off the market is sure to be news."

"Very true," your Father echoed, "-upon his visit to Alexandria, all that could be talked about was of him being a bachelor. Your courting is bound to make the papers."

"Yes, okay," you started, "-but my own words? Truly, they must be inconsequential-"

"Not in this case," your Headmistress shook her head, absentmindedly adjusting the pin of your hair -it was falling from the day's work, "-you neatly confirmed the seriousness of such a courting. That's news-"

"Yes, but-" you spoke, curious, "-How are they not to assume I am not longing after the man?"

"Well, because he clarified," Beth spoke, looking over Father's shoulder, "Upon further pursuance, Mr. Grimes said, rather happily, 'I love her.' Silencing the rumors of a rather morbid affair for the public eye, he gave us no further comment."

"Where?" you jumped up from your seat -gathered by your Father's side, "-Did he truly-"

And there it was, written in ink -a confession to farther than even Alexandria, he'd done it. He told the whole town that such affections were mutual, that was- That was-

"Darling, why are you crying?" she echoed, still fidgeting with your hair -she decidedly smoothed it down, "-You certainly knew such affections before, haven't you?"

"I did, I do," you gasped out between your breaths -smiling, "-I just can't believe he'd say such things for the whole town to know like he's-"

"Proud of you," Maggie finished, ducking in from upstairs, "-which he very well ought to be."

"Maggie-"

"No, she's right," agreed your Father, matching your eyes, "-He's very well lucky to court you, my darling daughter. Through it all, you still find love in your heart for him, and he's very well earned that."

"Oh, Father," you smiled, wiping at your tears and pulling him into a hug -hands wrapped around his shoulders, "-don't make me cry more-"

You supposed the next time you went out, you should've expected it.

"Ms. Greene," his voice echoed over the crowd, and you spun in place to catch him, "-lovely to see you, out and about."

Mr. Grimes was grinning, the kind of grin that had a sparkle in his eye -playful. In his arms was Judith -dressed wonderfully for such a simple occasion, and Carl was tightly to his side -still overdressed, but suited it lovely.

"You say that as though I'm not out every morning."

"You are?" He hummed, "-I should join you more often. Speakin' of, may we? Join you?"

"I'd love the company," you smiled at each one of them, lingering on Mr. Grimes if only a moment.

"Certainly you would," he echoed, biting down a grin.

Ah, you noted, that's what this is about.

"Yes, and tell me," you began, looking at him -suspiciously, "-What exactly are you out here for? Grocery?"

"I simply love the company."

"You are ridiculous, you know that?" You laughed, out loud -improperly but it was with him, so you thought it alright.

He shook his head, following you through the shops and stalls -you lingered by the chocolates only a spare moment. But of course, he noticed such longing looks -he always did.

"Sir," he spoke, and you nearly startled in place, "-may I receive some of those strawberries?"

"Certainly, sir," the man spoke with high respect, only meeting his eye.

"What do you need those for, Mr. Grimes?" You quirked, basket neatly rested in the crooked of your arm, "-Not dinner, I suppose."

"For you," he stated, matter-of-factly -extending out the bag to your basket and squarely dropping them into it.

"Mr. Grimes," you relented, "-I cannot accept-"

"A gift," he smiled, "-We are courting, are we not? Accept a gift on my behalf."

"You certainly cannot gift me everything I long for," you echoed out, fingers lingering on the little packet -you had always wished to try one.

"I can," he hummed, "-and will, if you allow me."

"Only a little."

Mr. Grimes laughed at that, loud and boisterous, and something in your chest warmed that such a noise came at your expense. It was almost as if every shop turned to you, unexpectedly, looking more than they already had.

You began to gather the groceries for the house, sticking by every stall neatly and avoiding when Mr. Grimes wished to pay. You had the funds, and you could buy them, so you would.

"Let me get somethin'," he started, sighing -a little exhausted you could tell.

It was just then, that you rounded in front of Mrs. Sweets's shop -new dresses, beautiful dresses lining the windows. You always loved this part of the trip, eyes dashing along the stitching, the color, everything. Your dreams of seeing such things on your skin were just that, dreams.

You stalled in place, stopping as you always did, looking through the windows and Mr. Grimes continued, not noticing the stop. Until a few moments later, he rejoined you -tight by your side, eyes dancing along your face as you looked on.

"You like to-"

"Look at the dresses," you finished, they each were beautiful, but something in your mind lingered on one from weeks prior -lavender with lacy finishes, and detailing you could never imagine to own.

"They are rather beautiful," he conceded.

You started, a little dreamy, "One week, I saw such a stunning gown," you sighed, "-lavender with a bit of lace at the ends of the sleeves. It was far more beautiful than anything I believe I ever owned."

"And?"

"And what?" You laughed, "-I could never buy such a dress, the detailing costs much more than you can imagine. Plus, I know each dress is one of a kind here, and it is far gone."

You reached out to touch the glass, as if it was still there and you could feel it between your fingertips.

"A woman much better suited found the same beauty in it I did, I assume."

Mr. Grimes was rather silent.

"Now come on," you hummed, undeterred, "-I've got run by Wheatley's for some dairy."

He merely followed behind, silently playing with Judith as you roamed around what was left -stalls and shops, Mr. Grimes kept reaching out to pay. You kept beating him to it.

Every time you lingered on something, however, he'd have it within his fingers in a snap -you'd ended up with a new lavender ribbon (it reminded you of the dress), a pair of shoes, and the chocolate strawberries. You allowed him only those three, despite your heart aching for many different things -you did not wish him to spoil you.

Perhaps, one day but not now.

Perhaps, when he married you-

You stuttered in your step for a spare moment, and the thought split into your head -when? Would he do such a thing soon? You knew he planned it-

"Everythin' alright?" he asked, eyebrows furrowed and head tilted down to speak to you over the buzz of the stalls.

"Yes," you hummed, softened at such a tone, "-I am well, just thinking."

"Anythin' you want to talk about?"

You smiled, reassuring, "It's nothing, Mr. Grimes, I promise. Just thoughts of no note."

He pursed his lips as to ask more, but someone interrupted him.

"Ms. Greene!" A voice echoed, not one you knew -a man who seemed to speak to you with intention, "-You are in the courtship with Mr. Grimes-"

He spoke it as though you didn't already know.

"Did you have anything of note to say?"

"To say to who?" You questioned, Mr. Grimes still tightly by your side, but at the moment the crowd seemed to block them off.

"The town of Alexandria," he clarified, "-Courting such a man, you must have lots to say. Perhaps, to say to those who don't get such pleasantries."

"Are you asking me to brag sir?"

"Certainly not," he hummed, "-just wishing to know more details. Has such courting been elite? Does he spend much fortune on you?"

"You must certainly know not to ask that of a lady, sir," you started, a little stiffened at such questions.

"I was born to ask questions, miss," he spoke, "-With the courtship of Mr. Grimes, you'd think-"

"Excuse me," Mr. Grimes spoke, gently, pushing through to join your side clearly.

"You'd think what?" You asked, genuinely, "-That my privacy is disregarded upon the courting of a man?"

"Well, a man like Mr. Grimes-"

That was when he stepped forward, Judith and Carl by his side -his hand intertwined with his son's and Judith within his other arm, "A man like me?"

"Mr. Grimes," he tensed, and something in you soured -he took him seriously, "-lovely day, is it not?"

"Are you not listening to Ms. Greene?" He questioned, rather intently, "-I believe her privacy being questioned is her own issue, yet you don't listen to her?"

"Well, sir," he laughed, a little nervously, "-She's a lady-"

"My lady," Mr. Grimes corrected, "-I ask you to respect that, respect her, certainly."

"I understand," he echoed out, "-I apologize-"

"Not to me," Mr. Grimes spoke, tightly, "-To her, speak to her."

The man, still nameless, turned to you, "I apologize for being so intrusive, miss, I request you forgive me."

"Thank you," you spoke, strictly, still not quite settled. Mr Grimes brushed his arm against yours -sleeve upon sleeve, and something in you calmed slightly.

You wished you could hold onto his arm, but both were quite preoccupied.

It wasn't long after that Judith fell asleep, blond curls snug against her father's shoulder and eyes squeezed shut. You found it rather sweet, keeping such an image safely in your chest.

Your eyes lingered over the three of them, they stood a few steps ahead. You realized it then, such a thing as today was a rather family affair.

The group waltzing along the stalls, together, you playing with Judith, quietly speaking to Carl and playfully bickering with Mr. Grimes -it was as though you belonged. Like you were on an outing with your family-

Something in your heart shifted.

Maybe you were. The thought settled along your shoulders, and you began smiling -watching the three of them step forward, all wandering along the stalls. You grinned, you liked this little family, liked being a part of it.

You wanted to be a part of it-

And just then, Mr. Grimes turned around, blue eyes fluttering across your face, "You comin'?"

"Of course," you whispered out -stepping forward to join his side, "-Of course."

Perhaps, you already were.

[homerforsure]

Fuck It Friday

In which we continue to make slow, sporadic progress on Long Way Home.

Thank you so much @devirnis and @rewritetheending for remembering me in your tags. Someday I'll be less of a ghost.

After a moment of silence on the line, Maddie says, a little quieter, “They say it’s a better bonding experience. Just you and them. Getting to know each other without all the… whatever. You form a stronger attachment to each other.”

“Yeah?” The television screen shifts again, the camera moving away from the scene and over to the reporter, and Buck’s gaze is tugged over to it again, following the changing light automatically. It’s Taylor–one of the first times in the last couple months that she hasn’t been reporting with a hospital behind her–and Buck feels a flutter that goes beyond simple recognition to something more familiar. Like unexpectedly bumping into a friend.

“Supposed to anyway. You know you were almost born at home.”

Instantly, the television is forgotten and Buck squawks, “I was what?”

“Mmmhmm,” Maddie says, a smile underlining the sound. “It was close.” 

“I- I’m trying to even picture our parents taking their shoes off in the house, let alone- How did that even happen?”

“Well it wasn’t on purpose. But you were a little early and you were the third so things… progressed a little faster than-”

Buck makes a distressed noise somewhere between “ew” and “yuck” and Maddie laughs at him out loud this time. 

“Dad was out. Shopping maybe? I don’t remember. No cell phones so mom couldn’t reach him. She called 911. And they told her it was early; she had hours; they could send someone if she wanted, but it was going to take a while. And mom just… she kind of stood up straight and said, thank you very much, hung up the phone and told me and Daniel to get our shoes. Drove us all to the hospital and you were born half an hour later.”

“Wow. I can’t imagine any of that.”

“Dad was beside himself. He just kept saying “he’s not supposed to be here yet.” I think he expected the nurses to tell him there’d been a mistake.” 

They laugh together at that one, at Phillip and the leather-bound planner slash diary slash address book slash security blanket that was never far out of his reach explaining that he’d had the date marked down for months and they still had two weeks left. Then Maddie says, fondly, “You were the tiniest thing I’d ever seen. You weren’t cute. You were all kind of red and scrunched, but we decided to love you anyway.”

Buck smiles, laying back down again as Maddie keeps talking.

“Daniel was convinced you were going to love him the best because you were both boys and you both had blue eyes. He said you were his baby. I think we actually started to fight about it and mom said… she said “Evan’s going to have plenty of love for all of us. He’s our miracle”.”

Just like that a pall settles over the happy scene Buck’s been recreating in his mind. Margaret holding a bundle of blankets. Phillip and Maddie leaning in, their smiles Christmas morning wide. In the background, fuzzy and indistinct, is Daniel. He’s blurry and insubstantial, a mostly blank space no matter how Buck tries to fill him in, but he bends the room around himself like a pocket of immense gravity. 

It's getting late and I have no idea who has already played today so just tuck this in your pocket for later if you don't need it: @mellaithwen, @princessfbi, @bigfootsmom, @honestlydarkprincess, @messyhairdiaz, @renecdote, @sibylsleaves

[ajaxslibrary]

Foolish One - Gojo Satoru x Reader

a/n: this little piece popped into my head listening to Taylor Swift, and each bit is themed after the lyric that prefaces it

-

My cards are on the table, yours are in your hand

I've long given up hiding my affections for Satoru. Most people don't recognise my reactions and the ones that do won't be fooled by my faking. So, I give up.

I cut my eyes from my book to him when he walks in the room. I tilt my head when he speaks. I set aside what I'm working on when he tries for my attention.

Satoru though treats me the same as everyone else. Carefully guarded, a jokester, a tease.

Chances are tonight you've already got plans, and chances are I will talk myself to sleep again

Of course, Satoru is going out drinking with some of our co-workers. I should've known.

It's okay. At least I have my own company. That's all I'll ever truly need. Bound to always have only my own words, thoughts, and company. I've gotten used to it.

I'm okay on my own.

That's what I tell myself at least.

You give me just enough attention to keep my hopes too high

"(y/n)-san! Oi~! Wanna try this mochi? I got it from the new place in Shibuya!" Satoru jogs to catch up with me on my walk to the train station. "It's matcha with red bean filling."

"I- yeah, sure. I like mochi."

An understatement. Mochi is my favourite sweet. Satoru knows that. He never offers me anything else. Unless he takes me to ramen for a meeting.

He holds out a piece of mochi for me and I take it tentatively. I love mochi, I love red bean paste, but... I don't like matcha. I take a small bite.

"This isn't matcha."

"Is it not?"

I can tell from the small smirk that Satoru already knew. It was just sweet red bean mochi, my favourite, dyed a matcha green.

I can't help the way my heart starts to beat a little faster in my chest.

"Is it good? Is it good? I haven't tried it yet, does it have the mochi master seal of approval?"

I feel heat rise to my cheeks at the thought he wanted to know what I thought of the mochi before trying it himself.

"It's good. The last place was better, but this is really good."

"Score! Thanks, (y/n)-san!"

And the voices say "You are not the exception, you will never learn your lesson"

A little box is waiting on my desk. Tied up with a pretty bow, the tag of my favourite sweet shop on one of the tails. My heart starts pounding when I hear my phone go off with Satoru's text tone.

'You like your present?'

A giddy smile crosses my lips and I race to open the box. Three red bean mochi and three sesame mochi. He knows me too well.

I whip out my phone and type up a quick response, thanking God that the racing of my heart and the happiness overflowing from it can't carry over text.

'Yeah, thanks'

I know he doesn't love me the way I want him to. He's the strongest, surely he's above love.

But oh, I can hope.

Foolish one stop checkin' your mailbox for confessions of love that ain't never gonna come

It's a dance we do every day. I check my email, half-hoping to see a beautiful, melodramatic, wonderful love confession from Satoru, he swings by my office to say hi, I try to keep my caged heart from escaping through my throat as he smiles at me.

And oh what a smile.

It's a dance we do every day. I've long memorised its steps.

Because every day my half-hopes are disappointed. Every day he says hi and gives me a beautiful smile that makes my heart beat faster. And every day it takes everything in me to not profess my undying love to Gojo Satoru.

Don't know what to call this situation but I know I can't call you mine

I take a deep breath as the weight of Satoru almost presses into me. Contact undoubtedly prevented by infinity. I glance over to look at him and he grins.

"What are you working on?"

Satoru is draped over me, his lips right next to my ear. I'm hyper-aware of him now.

"Um, I'm working on, ah, working on a lesson plan for one of my students."

Satoru shifts as I talk so one arm is dropped down the front of my torso.

"(y/n)-san," I can hear the frown in Satoru's voice when he says my name. "Do you not trust me?"

I do. I trust you with my life. That frightens me.

"I trust you." Completely. Utterly. Wholly. Entirely. I trust you.

"Why did you get so tense the moment you knew I was here?"

I hadn't noticed. But I know why.

"Because if I let go then I will break. I will not be a burden."

He does not need to know how I love him. I know. And that is enough. That must be enough.

'Cause when my head is on your shoulder it starts thinkin' you'll come around

I lean my head onto Satoru's shoulder on the train. Well, almost. He laughs at me.

"Tired?"

I don't give a proper answer, just a quiet mumble. Then I feel a tingly warmth cover my body, and my face makes contact with soft, warm fabric.

"Sleep well."

I think I say thank you. It must have sounded strange, because Satoru chuckles before responding softly.

"You're welcome. Now rest, I can protect us both."

You will learn the hard way instead of just walking out

The dance stops abruptly. Satoru doesn't swing by my office to say hi. And he doesn't smile at me when we pass in the hall.

There's mochi on my desk though. From the new place in Shibuya. I take a tentative bite of one, and it's matcha with red bean filling. Maybe last time was an accident.

I can't stand matcha.

Satoru knows that.

When my phone goes off with his text tone, I glance down, ignoring the warning beats of my heart like an ominous drum.

'I'm sorry'

Oh you haven't written me or called but goodbye's screamin' in the silence

I break as soon as I'm home. I want to scream. I want to cry. I want to vomit. I want to cut my hair off. But more than anything else.

I want to die.

There aren't many things I hate in this world.

I hate matcha. I hate failing. I hate watching a student ignore my teachings. I hate feeling disregarded. I hate when people go back on their word.

But more than anything else, I hate goodbyes without words.

And there are many things I love in this world that cannot love me in return.

I love sweet red bean paste. I love mochi. I love ramen. I love pocky. I love coffee. I love seeing someone progress. I love being protected. I love protecting others.

And more than I love anything else, unfailingly, unswervingly, unconditionally.

I love Gojo Satoru.

[notoriousbeb]

Lighthouse Keeper Tweets

And now, the post literally no one asked for. The Lighthouse Keeper's tweets from March 29, 2023, through July 2, 2024, supplemented with my own Haylor notes.

Note 1: I’m not in the business of convincing people LK is HS. Read this though. Look at his feed and decide for yourself. :) I’m here to speculate and have a good time.

Note 2: I skipped a handful of minor tweets I felt were not related to the overall LK narrative or unremarkable. (Examples: LK tweeted "Ciao!" on July 22, the date of HS's last LOT show in Italy, and a little running gag on April 1; he also likes to post about cake on HS's birthday and Christmas wishes, etc.)

Part 1: March 2023 - October 2023

March 29, 2023 - "I'm in my lighthouse keeper era." "Did I do it? Am I cool and trendy now?" 12:15 p.m. CT

April 1, 2023 "I actually really dislike lighthouses... don't know why I chose this life..." 3:55 a.m. CT

Taylor is about to play Arlington, Texas, later that day. (I think Harry is there. Here's why.) Seems like perhaps someone thought it would be funny to take his phone and tweet from it...

April 1, 2023 "April fools of course!!!! I love Lighthouses and I love keeping them!!!" 5:06 a.m. CT

April 2, 2023 "It's been a hell of a year..." 3:00 a.m. CT

April 6, 2023 "You'll be good, my love." 12 p.m. ET (NYC)

LK mentions in his replies to this one that he's drank half a bottle of rosé. Splitting it with someone, perhaps?

April 12, 2023 "Homeward bound forever."

Tone of this tweet seems bittersweet to me. H spotted in LA this day on work pit stop in between final European leg of LOT. After this, Taylor starts to fall apart on stage.

April 22, 2023 “If you really knew me, would you really want me?” 2:39 pm PST

Despondent, right? As if they left things on not great terms?

April 26, 2023 “Time cast a spell on you, but you won’t forget me.”

Fleetwood Mac “Silver Spring” lyrics.

May 6, 2023 “I hate to feel the rain on my back as I watch you go from me.” 4:15 p.m. BST

Matty time has commenced. Harry is in London.

May 11, 2023 “You’ve got me counting down the days.”

Could be a reference to Wembley. Deux Moi reported Taylor chartered there and was spotted at the June 13 show.

May 19, 2023 “Welcome Home” 12 a.m. BST

Taylor plays Foxborough, just 18 miles away from Holiday House.

June 1, 2023 “Je t'aime, Je t'aime, Je t'aime!” 10:35 a.m. BST

“I love you, I love you, I love you” in French. On May 30, a photo of Harry walking outside Cartier is shared to gossip sites. Cartier is a French luxury brand. On May 31, Taylor begins wearing a very pricey 1980s vintage Cartier necklace.

June 20, 2023 “Our lonesome shadows toss and turn. Throw our doubts in the fire. We’ll watch them burn.” 12:06 a.m. BST

Does he want to to make it work. From his set selection it seemed like it. But then...

June 29, 2023 - Taylor records “Down Bad” and Harry and Taylor Russell go on their first papped outing to a museum. So, it all fell apart, clearly. Why?

July 11, 2023 “Fast car, alligator shoes” 3:45 p.m. BST

These are lyrics from I.N.V.U. Other lyrics include, “He rolls in with his roll neck and his Rolex/he’s mister MTV/he claims he’s cashing checks/and breaking necks/at least that’s what he wants you to think/…/he’s at the wheel while I’m trapped in the boot.”

This is the day of Travis’ first Eras show. This was posted before he even showed up. …Did H know beforehand that this relationship was all planned in advance? At least, the beginning? (Perhaps as way to cleanse the public's palate from Matty?)

July 18, 2023 “The sky and the stars” 12 a.m. BST

Taylor Russell’s birthday. Just to be a dick? Or unrelated because...

July 19, 2023 - Daylight MV no. 2 drops

July 20, 2023 “There’s been a load of compromising on the road to my horizon but I’m gonna be where the lights are shinin’ on me.” 10:10 p.m. BST

These are lyrics from “Rhinestone Cowboy.” Sounds like H’s fucking had it, to me. Other lyrics include, “Nice guys get washed away like snow in the rain.”

August 24, 2023 “Hide in the middle of the universe, where the hills are steep and complications low.” 10:10 p.m. BST

H went to TR’s play opening on 1989 TV’s announcement night. Tay continues to wear the Cartier necklace. H also goes to TR’s play again 8/28.

August 30, 2023 “Through the gaps of my curtains looking at the moon it’s like you’re here with me. It’s like you see it too.” 9:30 p.m. BST

"Pick You Up" leaks 8/31. Taylor posts Griff’s “Vertigo” on Instagram 9/5. "Try Honey" leaks 9/12.

Sept. 16, 2023 “What are we drinking tonight?” 9:10 p.m. BST

Comments in the replies that he’s drinking and probably needs water. Post 9/14 Travis talking about Taylor on his podcast.

Sept. 21, 2023 “And my whiskey sings the obituaries.” 12 a.m. BST

Sept. 30, 2023 “Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see. It's getting hard to be someone, but it all works out. It doesn't matter much to me.” 9:30 p.m. BST

Lyrics from “Strawberry Fields Forever” by The Beatles.

Post TS’s first NFL game appearance.

Oct. 8, 2023 “So much for an early night” in Morse code 12:30 a.m. BST

Probably out with Tom and Tyler post recording. I hope.

Oct. 12, 2023 “Will you hold me dear and keep me warm? And I’ll shield us both from sorrow and the storm” 4:35 p.m. BST

Maybe he decides he and TR can keep each other company? That’s depressing.

Oct. 17, 2023 “You said ‘love is touching souls’ surely you touched mine ‘cause part of you pours out of me in these lines from time to time.” 4:20 p.m. BST

Lyrics from Joni Mitchell’s “A Case of You.”

Oct. 19, 2023 “And the rattle of the red line cuts through like a knife. So, what do you say we try to live this life?” 11:30 p.m. BST

Sad sad saaaad.

Oct. 23, 2023 “Moon, tell me if I could send up my heart to you?” 8:30 p.m. BST

Mitski lyrics. Suffering. Pain.

Ahead to Part Two

[runningfrom2am]

on the one screen in my town; two

summary:

mason’s life with drew was absolutely perfect, she was happier than ever; until everything came crashing down all at once.

tags/warnings:

drew starkey x fem!popstar!oc, drug and alcohol use, death, grief, these tags are not exhaustive, idk i'll add to this as it goes on.

wc: 2k

an: okay so in this chapter some shit goes down so mind the tags please!!! anyway love y'all

Mason smiles at her fiancé who's standing just behind the camera and the interviewing team in front of her, originally scheduled to discuss her upcoming album which is meant to accompany the next and final season of Outer Banks. Unsurprisingly to an unimpressed Este at Drew's side, they're mostly asking about the show and the upcoming wedding, which happens to be scheduled three months away to the date.

"I thought they were meant to talk about her album." She mutters to her friend, who just nods slightly in response, looking a little disappointed as well with the next question.

"Rumour has it as well that you'll be reprising your role as Sofia for the final season, is that true?" The interviewer asks her, Mason staring at him intently the whole time. She's known for her kindness by everyone in the industry and of course her fans, in a similar way that Drew is.

"I can't really talk about that, unfortunately, but seeing as she didn't die at the end of the last season and Sofia and Rafe haven't had any kind of falling out, I can't see why she wouldn't be back for the last season. That being said, I'm only really permitted to discuss my upcoming album today, unfortunately." Mason answers gracefully, nodding and crossing her legs.

"Not even the wedding?" The interviewer laughs slightly, tilting his head at her.

Mason glances briefly at Drew, before returning her attention to the interviewer. "Well, that depends on what you want to know." She chuckles awkwardly.

"Everything! It's set to be the wedding of the decade- with all the planning you're doing, could you see that becoming an accurate statement?"

"Oh gosh, well, I doubt that. There's bound to be another royal wedding or something, maybe Taylor Swift or Kylie Jenner will get married in the next four years so I truly doubt it." She laughs, shaking her head.

"Oh come on, you don't have to be modest. There's a lot of people working on putting everything together."

Mason nods at this. "Yes! We have so much support and it has been a life saver for us, we appreciate every minute of time that people are taking out of their own day-to-day lives to help us put everything together. To make our dream come to life, I suppose." Her cheeks are flushed now as she speaks, trying to avoid looking in her fiancé's direction- forbid her turning even more red.

"How do you find the time for music when you're working so hard on wedding planning?"

"It's a passion of mine, of course. It's something that's a vessel for me to relax and reconnect with myself and how I'm feeling, which is really important to me as an artist but it also gives me an important outlet to-" As Mason is answering, Drew and Este share a satisfied smile, pleased that they're finally on topic.

Just then Mason's phone starts vibrating in Drew's pocket, and he pulls it out quickly to dismiss the incoming call from her father. He quickly calls back. Again, and again.

"Hey, so sorry, her dad is really trying to get a hold of her. Can she quickly take a call?" Drew whispers to a member of the crew standing nearby, showing them the phone. They nod quickly, getting the interviewers attention and calling for a cut just before Mason finishes talking about her creative process.

"Here, Love, your dad is calling you. I think you should take it." Drew says, quickly approaching her and passing her the phone. She nods, hitting answer and standing up to step out, holding her phone to her ear.

"Hey, dad. How's it going?" She asks as she steps out into the hall, genuine confusion crossing her tone. He knew she was doing this important press interview today, and usually her parents wouldn't reach out until they knew she was done.

"Mason, honey, I-" Her dad chokes out into the phone after a moment.

"Dad, hey, what's wrong?" She frowns, peeking through the slightly open door to make sure no one was listening before closing it.

"Your mom... I- I'm sorry, you need to come home. She-" He sighs shakily, a pit already forming in the singers stomach. "She's passed, honey."

There's a silence on the line, as Mason shakes her head, bringing a trembling hand up to her mouth. "No.. No that's not- I talked to her this morning." She says, instantly not believing it. Her dad wouldn't lie to her, though, especially not make some kind of sick joke like this.

"I-I know, I know. I just- can you please come home? Please?" He says shakily as Mason's knees give out beneath her and suddenly she's kneeling on the floor, her body wracked with sobs.

Neither of them say a word for what must be a minute, both of them just crying into the phone and wishing this news wasn't true.

"I'll be home tonight- okay?" Mason says, furiously wiping at her eyes. "I'll fly home as soon as I can." She's still shaking, and she can hardly speak above a whisper.

"Okay... yeah. Call me later and I'll see you tonight." Her dad agrees, managing to regain some composure.

Mason just hangs up the phone, leaning against the wall and letting herself process the news for a minute. Her mom has been her best friend and number one fan forever- she couldn't begin to imagine a life without her in it. A wedding without her there, or a moment going by without the comfort of knowing she can call or text her at anytime, even though they are rarely in the same city these days.

It takes a minute, but on shaky hands and with shaky legs, Mason gets herself up. Does she have to finish the interview? She has to go back into the studio and tell someone. Drew? Este? Or keep it professional and tell a crew member that they will have to reschedule? She can't even consider professionalism in this moment. She quickly wipes away the smudged makeup under her eyes and takes a deep breath before opening the door again, stepping back into the studio and squinting at the lights.

"I-" She starts to speak to anyone who will listen, but hardly any sound comes out. Her eyes land on Drew and Este chatting in the middle of the room who both looked over to her at the same time. The second they noticed her the tears start flowing again, and they hardly get to her before her weak knees are hitting the ground again, Drew quickly catching her and kneeling in front of her.

"Hey! Everyone out- give her some privacy." Este is calling out, standing in front of her friends with her arms out, trying to keep people from looking while she frantically looks down at the couple over her shoulder as everyone shuffled out in a panic.

"Love? What's happened?" Drew asks her, arms wrapped firmly around his fiancé as she now hysterically sobs into his chest.

Mason can't even get a word out, practically choking every time she opens her mouth while Este deals with trying to make sure everyone leaves. The remaining few have good intentions, just wanting to help, but the presence of strangers can only make the news of a loved ones death so much worse. "My- my mom..." She stutters out, returning quickly to sobs.

Drew and Este understand immediately, sharing a quick look of shock and upset before Drew hugs her impossibly tighter, rubbing her back. "Oh, oh god..." He says softly, unsure of what to say. His heart is breaking along with her, he loves Catherine. They had become quite close over the last few years, and the pit in his stomach is the only thing reminding him that this is true, not some cruel joke. Somehow in the mess of things ending up with his arms around both Mason and Este as they cling onto each other. "I'm so sorry." He doesn't know what to say. "I'm so sorry, Love, you're okay..."

Completely shocked, Drew let's them go after a minute or two, insisting he'll be right back, he's not going anywhere, as he gets up and pulls out his phone with shaky hands, calling Mason's manager.

"Hey- hi, It's Drew." He says as soon as she answers the phone, not giving her a chance to get a word in before he continues. "We need to get Mason home, like, asap, we need three flights to uh, LA, we have to get there tonight." He explains, wiping his eyes and looking over at where Mason and Este are still curled up on the floor. They've been friends since they were young, he knows this is a hard hit on Este as well.

"Drew, what's happened? I'll have to reschedule some-" She asks and he interrupts her again.

"Reschedule everything. Maybe cancel it, I don't care. Can you get us back to LA tonight? It has to be private. Everything." He insists.

"Yes, yeah. Of course, but tell me what's going on."

"I-" Drew let's out a shaky breath. "Something happened to Catherine, Miles just called." He says quietly, quickly wiping his eyes again before tears even got the chance to fall. He needs to be strong, he needs to be the one to keep it together to get the girls home.

"Oh.. oh dear. Okay. I'll handle everything. I'm so sorry." She says, shocked by this news as well. "Just get to JFK as soon as possible, I'll get a plane for you there."

"Thank you." Drew nods, quickly hanging up and returning to the girls side, crouching down in front of them.

Mason let's go of her friend and reaches out for him, wrapping her arms tightly around his neck and crying into his shoulder. They've been through highs and lows together, but nothing like this. Never something like this. "Mason, Love..." He's rubbing her back, trying gently to talk to her. "Let's get you home, yeah? Can we walk together?" He asks and she quickly pulls away from him, nodding and wiping her face- makeup be damned. She has to get it together, just enough to get home. Just enough to make it home without the whole world seeing.

She can't speak, she knows that, but as Este gets up, she holds onto her arm and onto Drew as they pull her up. "Here, take this-" He grabs a left behind cardigan off a nearby chair, wrapping it around her shoulders and adjusting it as best as he can. He gently places his hands on her cheeks, sighing as he looks her over. "My Love..." He whispers, trying to comfort her but not knowing what to say. She just shakes her head, wrapping her arms around him again and pulling him close.

"I just- I have to get my kit, then I'll meet you guys downstairs." Este sniffles, standing up straight and wiping off her leather pants, which are now an iconic look for her.

"You'll be okay?" Drew asks her, still holding tight onto his fiancé.

"Yep. Yep, I'm good." Este nods, wiping under her eyes and placing a hand on her best friends back, leaning in to speak to her. "I'm not going anywhere, I'll meet you in the car, okay?"

Mason just nods into Drew's shoulder, focussing on breathing, but it's so hard when the only thing she can think about is her mom, her dad back home, alone, and clinging onto Drew for dear life.

Collectively, they compose themselves enough to make it to their car outside, Drew giving a quick apology to the interviewing team on the way out, most of whom are staring at them with sympathy- others with an eye roll over the inconvenience.

Cameras are flashing at them, but Mason has her head down, hood almost fully covering her face as they step inside. It was out of character for both of them to not stop and talk to fans or answer questions, so Drew already knew rumours would be flying. That's a problem they would deal with later.

Este is quick to join them, settling for throwing her kit over the back seat and into the trunk as they drive away. Mason stares down at her lap, gripping tightly onto the side of Drew's shirt, rubbing the material between her fingers as he squeezes her tight with an arm over her shoulders.

taglist:@veescorneroftheworld, @totalswag, @madelynie, @cecesrings, @slut4drudy, @mutual-mendes, @winterrrnight, @sadfury, @h34rtsformilli, @maybankslover, (lmk if you want to be added!!)

[enemiestoanchors]

i love you (but I cannot survive you) — a thiam playlist

i. All I Want | Kodaline

'Cause you brought out the best of me, a part of me I'd never seen. You took my soul and wiped it clean; our love was made for movie screens.

ii. The Killer Was a Coward | Dermot Kennedy

And when I think of you, I think of spirit defined, and I think of all the love that we shared in a very dark time.

iii. Demons | Imagine Dragons

Don't wanna let you down, but I am hell-bound. Though this is all for you, don't wanna hide the truth.

iv. Take on the World | You Me At Six

And nobody knows you the way that I know you; we'll fight, we'll crawl into the night. I won't let go; with you by my side, the calm, the storm, we'll face it all.

v. Eyes on Fire | Blue Foundation

And just in time, in the right place, steadily emerging with grace.

vi. I Found | Amber Run

And I found love where it wasn't supposed to be, right in front of me.

vii. Litost | X Ambassadors

And how long must I stay? Will I lay by your side just to say that I'm yours and you'll never be mine?

viii. Another Love | Tom Odell

And if somebody hurts you, I wanna fight, but my hands been broken, one too many times, so I'll use my voice, I'll be so fucking rude.

ix. Fortnight | Taylor Swift; Post Malone

And I love you; it's ruining my life.

x. The Show | Niall Horan

Life is like a board game some of the time; mistakes and heartbreaks are no crime, but there's a lot creeping through under broken skies.

xi. Guilty as Sin | Taylor Swift

What if the way you hold me is actually what's holy? If long-suffering propriety is what they want from me, they don't know how you've haunted me so stunningly.

xii. Us | James Bay

I still hear the howling, I still feel the rush; over the riots, above all the noise, and through all the worry, I still hear your voice.

xiii. Fade | Lewis Capaldi

That I'd end up so caught up in need of your demons that I'd be lost without you leading me astray. Guess I'm such a fucking fool for the way that you caught me.

xiv. Saturdays | Louis Tomlinson

My heart might be broken, but I won't be broken down.

xv. Fine Line | Harry Styles

You've got my devotion, but man, I can hate you sometimes.

xvi. The Great War | Taylor Swift

It turned into something bigger. Somewhere in the haze, got a sense I'd been betrayed.

xvii. Holding On To Heartache | Louis Tomlinson

I called you twice, but then regretted it and changed my number.

xviii. Hoax | Taylor Swift

My only one, my kingdom come undone, my broken drum; you have beaten my heart. Don't want no other shade of blue but you; no other sadness in the world would do.

xix. I miss you, I'm sorry | Gracie Abrams

Nothing happened in the way I wanted; every corner of this house is haunted.

xx. my tears ricochet | Taylor Swift

And I can go anywhere I want, anywhere I want, just not home. And you can aim for my heart, go for blood, but you would still miss me in your bones.

xxi. favorite crime | Olivia Rodrigo

I defended you to all my friends, and now, every time a siren sounds, I wonder if you're around 'cause you know that I'd do it all again.

xxii. Somebody to Die For | Hurts

And there's no hell that he can show me that's deeper than my pride 'cause I will never be forgotten. Forever, I'll fight.

xxiii. So High School | Taylor Swift

No one's ever had me, not like you...Truth, dare, spin bottles, you know how to ball; I know Aristotle.

xxiv. Complex | Katie Gregson-MacLeod

I need him like water; he thinks that I'm alright. I'm not feeling human; I think he's a good guy, but it's complex. It's a complex.

xxv. Ghost Of You | 5 Seconds of Summer

So I drown it out like I always do. Dancing through our house with the ghost of you, and I chase it down, with a shot of truth, that my feet don't dance like they did with you.

xxvi. Give Me Love | Ed Sheeran

Give me love like never before 'cause lately I've been craving more and it's been a while, but I still feel the same.

xxvii. illicit affairs | Taylor Swift

And you know damn well, for you, I would ruin myself a million little times.

xxviii. Holding On And Letting Go | Ross Copperman

It's everything you wanted, it's everything you don't.

xxix. Atlantis | Seafret

Now all the birds have fled, the hurt just leaves me scared.

xxx. Hurricane | Fleurie

Though I am breaking down again, I am aching now to let you in.

xxxi. You and I | PVRIS

We can meet in the middle, bodies and souls collide. Dance in the moonlight when all the stars align.

xxxii. Crazy in Love - Remix | Beyonce

I'm not myself. Lately, I'm foolish; I don't do this. I've been playing myself, baby I don't care.

xxxiii. this is me trying | Taylor Swift

And maybe I don't quite know what to say, but I'm here in your doorway.

xxxiv. Can't Catch Me Now | Olivia Rodrigo

You can't catch me now, I'm coming like a storm into your town.

xxxv. Perfect | Hedley

I'm not perfect, but I keep trying 'cause that's what I said I would do from the start.

xxxvi. Til My Heart Stops | Too Far Moon

I almost died the day I lost you; I'll keep breathing til my heart stops.

xxxvii. The Alchemy | Taylor Swift

There was no chance, trying to be the greatest in the league. Where's the trophy? He just comes running over to me.

xxxviii. The Exit | Conan Gray

Feels like we had matching wounds, but mine's still black and bruised, and yours is perfectly fine now. Feels like we buried alive something that never died.

xxxix. Don't Forget About Me | CLOVES

Lost through time, and that's all I need: so much love, then one day buried. Hope you're safe, 'cause I Iay you leaves; is there more than we can see?

xl. Hurts Like Hell | Fleurie

I don't want them to know the way I loved you; I don't think they'd understand it, no. I don't think they would accept me, no. I loved, and I loved, and I lost you.

xli. Is There Somewhere | Halsey

'Cause I clutched your arms like stairway railings, and you clutched my brain and eased my ailing.

xlii. Burn with You | Lea Michele

We're not healthy, barely breathing, but this pain keeps my heart beating.

xliii. Cringe | Matt Maeson

Lover, come hold me; could you forget? That I got a secret, digging a ditch.

xliv. Him & I | G-Eazy; Halsey

We got that love, the crazy kind. I am his, and he is mine, in the end, it's him and I.

xlv. An Evening I Will Not Forget / Furthest Thing | Dermot Kennedy

Days with nothing but laughing loud underneath my coat, when you tap my shoulder, hold my hand; nights with nothing but dark in there, you could be my armor then.

xlvi. Call It What You Want | Taylor Swift

You don't need to save me, but would you run away with me?

xlvii. I'll Never Love Again | Lady Gaga

And I want to pretend that it's not true, oh baby, that you're gone 'cause my world keeps turning, and turning, and turning, and I'm not moving on.

xlviii. This Town | Niall Horan

And I know that it's wrong that I can't move on, but there's something about you. If the whole world was watching, I'd still dance with you.

xlix. Without Fear | Dermot Kennedy

And now I really think you're heaven-sent 'cause you've been forcin' all these hollow hearts to feel again. And now I really think you're heaven-sent, but there's a beauty in being broken; I've been seein' it.

l. Waiting Room | Phoebe Bridgers

Know it's for the better.

li. Only Love Can Hurt Like This | Paloma Faith

Burning hot through my veins, love is torture; makes me more sure only love can hurt like this.

lii. Still Falling For You | Ellie Goulding

And just like that, all I breathe, all I feel, you are all for me, I'm in.

liii. Daylight | Taylor Swift

I once believed love would be burning red, but it's golden.

liv. Margaret | Lana Del Rey; Bleachers

'Cause when you know, you know.

lv. Lost Without You | Freya Ridings

You were the only safe haven that I've known; hits me at full speed, feel like I can't breathe and nobody knows this pain inside me.

lvi. I Fell In Love With The Devil | Avril Lavigne

Got me playin' with fire, baby, hand me the lighter. Tastes just like danger, chaotic anger.

lvii. Million Reasons | Lady Gaga

I've got a hundred million reasons to walk away, but baby, I just need one good one to stay.

lviii. But Daddy I Love Him | Taylor Swift

No, I'm not coming to my senses; I know he's crazy, but he's the one I want.

lix. Ultraviolet | Freya Ridings

No, I can't hide it, and you're reading all of me.

lx. Sunday | Dermot Kennedy

You're one of few, boy, who can safely say they had somebody truly love them back.

lxi. golden hour | JVKE; Ruel

You know nothing compares to the shattering feeling I get, oh, when you're not right there.

lxii. Daylight | David Kushner

You and I drink the poison from the same vine. Oh, I love it, and I hate it at the same time.

lxiii. Half Hearted | We Three

The fighting is done, and nobody's won, so now I'm just laying here in pieces on the floor.

lxiv. Always Remember Us This Way | Lady Gaga

So when I'm all choked up, but I can't find the words every time we say goodbye, baby, it hurts.

lxv. Latch | Sam Smith

Now I've got you in my space; I won't let go of you. Got you shackled in my embrace, I'm latching on to you.

lxvi. Say Don't Go | Taylor Swift

'Cause you kiss me, and it stops time, and I'm yours, but you're not mine.

lxvii. Put A Little Love On Me | Niall Horan

When the lights come up and there's no shadows dancing, I look around as my heart is collapsing 'cause you're the only one I need.

lxviii. Ho Hey | The Lumineers

I belong with you; you belong with me; you're my sweetheart.

lxix. XO | John Mayer

Your heart is glowing, and I'm crashing into you.

lxx. Strange Love | Halsey

Everybody wants to know about how it felt to hear you scream; they know you walk like you're a God, they can't believe I made you weak.

lxxi. You Mean The World To Me | Freya Ridings

And it kills me that you might not know after all, 'cause I know I don't let you see, but you mean the world to me, and I know that I can be pretty mean, but you mean the world to me.

lxxii. Dark Paradise | Lana Del Rey

Love you forever can't be wrong; even though you're not here, you won't move on. That's how we played it.

lxxiii. Oceans | Seafret

I want you, and nothing comes close to the way I need you. I wish I could feel your skin and I want you from somewhere within.

lxxiv. The Archer | Taylor Swift

All the king's horses and all the king's men couldn't put me together again 'cause all of my enemies started out friends; help me hold onto you. I've been the archer; I've been the prey. Who could ever leave me, darling? But who could stay?

lxxv. MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT | Loveless

In the middle of the night, just call my name; I'm yours to tame.

lxxvi. Train Wreck | James Arthur

You can say what you like 'cause see, I would die for you. I'm down on my knees, and I need you to be my God, be my help, be a savior who can unbreak the broken.

lxxvii. Walls | Louis Tomlinson

For every question, why, you were my because.

lxxviii. Infinity | Jaymes Young

'Cause you're the reason I believe in fate, you're my paradise, and I'll do anything to be your love or be your sacrifice.

lxxix. Salvation | Gabrielle Aplin

Just a trick of light to bring me back again, those wild eyes, a psychedelic silhouette. I never meant to fall for you, but I was buried underneath, and all that I could see was white.

lxxx. Sleep On The Floor | The Lumineers

Take all your savings out 'cause if we don't leave this town, we might never make it out. I was not born to drown, baby; come on.

lxxxi. Castle on the Hill | Ed Sheeran

I still remember these old country lanes when we did not know the answers.

lxxxii. The Other Side | Ruelle

I don't want to know what it's like to live without you; don't want to know the other side of a world without you.

lxxxiii. Angel With A Shotgun | The Cab

They say before you start a war, you better know what you're fighting for. Well, baby, you are all that I adore; if love is what you need, a solider, I will be.

lxxxiv. Black Friday | Tom Odell

You look so pretty, pretty like the wind. Every time you touch me, I feel adrenaline.

lxxxv. Die With A Smile | Lady Gage, Bruno Mars

So I'ma love you every night, like it's the last night, like it's the last night. If the world was ending, I'd wanna be next to you.

lxxxvi. Northern Attitude | Noah Kahan

If I get too close and I'm not how you hoped, forgive my northern attitude. Oh, I was raised out in the cold. If the son doesn't rise until summertime, forgive my northern attitude. Oh, I was raised on little light.

lxxxvii. "Slut!" | Taylor Swift

Half awake, takin' your chance. It's a big mistake; I said, "It might blow up in your pretty face." I'm not saying, "Do it anyway," but you're going to.

lxxxviii. Backroads | Lonely The Brave

So the sinners stopped, and the villains turned, and I'll be the sky, and you be the bird.

lxxxix. Angel By The Wings | Sia

Oh, so, your wounds, they show. I know you have never felt so alone. But hold on, head up, be strong.

lxxxx. Too Deep | Ritual, Delilah

You said my signs were vital, that every touch was tidal. You held me, you held me so right, you held me so tight.