#our defence is not our main problem

[liexki]

𝐒𝐎𝐑𝐑𝐎𝐖 + 𝐁𝐋𝐈𝐒𝐒 : 𝐏𝐈𝐋𝐎𝐓

𝐒𝐘𝐍𝐎𝐏𝐒𝐈𝐒: When the first division of TOMAN, Keisuke Baji, passes away, the Commander, Manjiro Sano, take his younger sister, Y/N Baji, in and soon forms a gang in their mid 20s. Now being the leaders of the criminal organization BONTEN and entering the gang scene with a federal bounty on her head, what if love with her No. 2 and a bit of the past resurfaces?? What if there was a little sorrow and betrayal?? Some gang shit in the mix too!?

𝐖𝐀𝐑𝐍𝐈𝐍𝐆𝐒: various substances (vapes, weeds, cigarettes, pills, ect.), curse words, mentions of sex work if you squint

“Sanzu, Y/N, respectfully, please calm down on the amount of drugs.” Kakucho said, sitting across from Sanzu. Stubbly looking over to Mikey at the right of him — strangely attending the meeting at the head of the table — asking for approval to question such big figures in the way he did.

TO KEEP READING, YOU UNDERSTAND THE CONTENT WARNING MENTIONED ON THE TOP OF THE SCREEN ARE PRESENT IN THIS POST AND FUTURE EPISODES.

Y/N sent a sharp glare towards despite being on the other head, about a metre away from the number 3. Sanzu gave a cheeky smile that people would relate to the Cheshire cat. His pearly whites showed while Y/N rolled her eyes at the boy’s antics.

“I’ll only stop if I bring Mikey and the princess an issue. I do think Y/N should stop. She’ll age really badly!” He responded to Kakucho while a bit of fake sympathy laced his voice.

“I’ve bought enough for Y/n to not age badly. Great retinols and I’ve even showed her some botox places that were rated well. She gave me the same little pretty glare she’s giving you now.” Ran pitched into the conversation.

“Shut the fuck up Ran no one cares about you and your issues about being an old hag.” Sanzu bites the 31 year old to his side, the banter flowing freely among the trio.

“For once I believe I have to agree with the dunce.” Rindou reluctantly admitted.

“I think we should get back to the main problem right now.” Kokonoi started, “We need to start making connections with different gangs at the moment and we also need to work on our financial issue which is being affected with the substance use from all of you.”

“I don’t do drugs!” Mucho stated in defence of his use.

“You dumbfuck! Substances aren’t just drugs. I’m saying those shitty cigarettes you smoke, the vapes that teens these days use, to edibles or drugs that Y/N and Sanzu are using. They’re all substances and FUCK WE SPEND TO MUCH ON THAT SHIT!” Kokonoi explained with frustration.

“So, all you want is for me to stop using drugs? Well then, I’m out of this then. Mikey, Kakucho, Kokonoi, and Takeomi. Make an event sending regards and invite the top 15 gangs to an event at one of the Haitani's clubs. Ran and Rindou, you guys can decide a club you’re fine with being used.” Y/n ordered.

With a click-clack of her MIU MIU heels, Y/N pushed her chair back and walked out of the room. The sound of her footsteps echoed through the room as Mikey watched her leave. As a small grin decorated his face, entertained by the events. A quiet chuckle left Sanzu’s mouth with the same idea.

✈︎ ˖°ʚ 🐈‍ ɞ·˚ ✩

"You guys know the BONTEN event, right??" Kimiko sat with her legs crossed on top of a table.

"Yeah. One of my workers told me when their number 2 was high." Shu replied taking another hit of his blunt.

"OMG DON'T TELL ME YOU GOT US AN INVITE? KIMI!" Aria squealed with excitement while shaking Kimiko's shoulders rapidly.

"Yes, yes, yes. I was able to get myself on the list and asked the man if I could bring you. I also said that I could provide smokes and shit so Shu, you need to be there with something for about 150 people." Y/n rambled. "Aria, keep on the low though. You're not a present figure."

"Yes ma'am!!" Aria chorused.

Kimiko shot her an annoyed look but secretly felt a sense of happiness.

"What's the deal. Why would they hold an event?" Shu interrogated.

Kimiko didn't know but she had one thing on her mind. Build connections with the gang. The others in the room had a similar idea as well but they'd never admit that. As the leader, she needed to step up.

"BONTEN is uptight so I doubt they'd let anyone know but I'm thinking it's about business."

She glanced over to Shu and he cracked a grin to her gaze.

"Let's take this opportunity to talk to them privately and introduce them to us. Aria, you step down on this one. Me and Shu will do the talking, don't expect this to be free time though. Make sure you study the other people at the event."

Aria nods. Shu focuses.

'Y/N should be wary of who she messes with.' Kimiko thought.

✈︎ ˖°ʚ 🐈‍ ɞ·˚ ✩

“Hey, Kakucho. Who told that one bitch about our event?” Mochizuki asked him at the VIP section of the bar as they just finished the final few touches of the event.

Kakucho and Kokonoi got confused about what he was talking about. The 2 walked over to try and look at the phone he was holding and Y/N just took a glance from her side across the room.

“I told them.” Y/N said.

“Wasn’t it supposed to be underground?” Kakucho asked, “It kinda makes us look desperate…you know?”

Mochizuki looked at the phone in confusion as everyone was on the same page of this being laid-back and secretly trying to find someone to ally with. Nothing too public. That was indeed not the case though and Y/N had other plans that differed with the group.

“It’s just for a bit of excitement. We haven’t said shit or made any moves in a while. Keeps the people thinking and people might less pussy and actually talk to us.” Y/N explained.

The time had now been 10:45 and the rest of the members were doing their own thing while Mikey looked at you with his cold eyes. He was curious about the way you stood silent and looked at the ground instead of scrolling on your phone as usual.

The B2 tweet really got the people going insane and some envied the groups and those who had come out saying they were going. Your ego was as big as a pool but your cold demeanour covered it up. He thought you’d look at them as a laugh.

“Y/N. Let’s talk outside.” Mikey asked.

✈︎ ˖°ʚ 🐈‍ ɞ·˚ ✩

“LET’S GET THIS PARTY STARTEDDDD!!!!” Sanzu barged in holding a bottle of beer in front of the crowd of gang members who had arrived.

The crowd went insane after seeing the bubblegum crackhead’s words. Rindou was playing DJ that night and the EDM was echoing throughout the speakers set around the building. Girls were sitting on the speakers still looking pretty to attract the gangs and get them to feel themselves.

Mikey watched everyone from the VIP room. The security cameras had 8k quality. The average company could only wish to own the amount of cameras they have. He thought back to the conversation he had with Y/N. Something she had known.

“You have some plan. Something smartass type shit.” Mikey confronted her softly so she wouldn’t feel as if he was enraged.

“Mhm. Wanna know or something?” Y/n questioned back.

Now Mikey was faced with a sense of curiosity. He had trusted Y/N because it was mutual. She’d put her life for him and he’d do the same but they knew they’d never be in that situation. Y/N was smarts enough to cover for both of their hellish lives. Despite this, in that moment that was something that he wanted to question her on.

What Mikey didn’t realise is that Y/N knew his every expression. Even his pitch black eyes that held no emotions was something that didn’t stop her from figuring out how he really felt. His eyes staring into the ground was enough to tell her he was pondering about asking.

“I’m thinking of making small changes so we can catch these big gangs hitting their most vulnerable moments. More girls around to see how they respect women, seeing how they react under the influence of alcohol. It’s small things that set it up.” Y/n clarified.

What she said really had made a difference in how the delinquents around the club and bar were acting. Some were straight hooligans and some had acted like how old friends of his probably would’ve if they still were here.

As Mikey was attentively watching the cameras he soon realised all the members had left the room, he decided to walk out himself and become a little more social.

✈︎ ˖°ʚ 🐈‍ ɞ·˚ ✩

“I guess we have a lot more in common than I thought. Shu Yamaha, correct?” Kokonoi clarified to the man in front of him.

‘Insanely famous for exporting drugs across Hiroshima to Akita. We could use that. His brother’s motor company could be useful but I doubt he still talks to them when he’s doing shit like this.’ Kokonoi thought

“Yes Mr. Kokonoi. I’m glad I was able to talk business with someone in this industry. No one seems to think about the future in our work. All they do is think about throwing fists and updating their body count just to go home and hook up with someone they barely know!” Shu chats to the executive.

“Agreed. You can never know about what comes next but it’s still vital to stick to the present. Time is of the essence, am I right? Most of the people tonight are on wanted lists. Especially BONTEN. The moment this doesn’t work out we won’t be able to get proper jobs without people fearing our past.”

“Of course. I think I’ll be taking my leave.” Shu said

Shu walke away but before he could go too far, Kokonoi walked over behind him and tapped his shoulder.

“Do you mind if I got a business card?”

Here's the OPENING POST !!

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[goblinsofdiscord]

The Enneagram Explained ⚔️ Defence Mechanisms & Self-Sabotaging Behaviors 💣🔪

By Larissa

(This is an excerpt from a workshop I taught in 2023) If you want the accompanying "Unf*ck Yourself" mini workshop + pdf workbook join the membership and get it instantly. I apologize for how dry and cringe the names/descriptions are.

To watch/listen instead:

One of the main ways you can stop operating out of autopilot, quit the shit patterns and actually get what you want is by:

Being with the discomfort of not operating out of your personality trap + shadow (being conscious, making different choices, regulating your nervous system in the moment with breath, tapping, affirmations).

Integrating the opposite of your personality's "belief" (the shadow).

This sounds simple but it actually requires a considerable amount of bravery and determination. Which is why most people who learn the Enneagram don’t actually use it for self-growth. Because it’s more fun to chit chat about and study than to actually apply to our own lives.

The personality’s belief structure creates behaviors and defense mechanisms. These beliefs and behaviors create the shadow. 

The defense mechanisms come from Freud's psychoanalytic theories and have been correlated to Enneagram theory by multiple sources and evolved over time with other people's ideas (Fritz Perls, Oscar Ichazo, Helen Palmer, Naranjo, etc). I won’t be getting into any of that, I’m just going to apply them in how I see them as useful. I’ve also added behaviors that I notice in each of the types.

I’m not sharing these to shame anyone or be judgmental, because we’re ALL doing at least one, if not three or more of these patterns. I’m using the Enneagram as a framework to show you how to spot patterns, unuseful beliefs and shadow at a much quicker pace than if you’re just doing it from just generic journaling prompts or waiting for something to “happen” before you address it. This way you have a pathway to start looking at the problems before your life goes to total shit. 

Each type’s flawed belief (“If I am not ___ I don’t exist /I am not me/I am not safe”) manifests itself through behaviors and actions. 

This process is unconscious. Even if you were aware that you were doing some of this stuff, it’s not your fault. It’s what we were programmed to do. But by integrating our shadow and coming into acceptance and wholeness we get to make better choices, think supportive thoughts, feel better, more useful and aligned feelings. And you can also catch yourself in the act and check yourself before you wreck yourself.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 1 - “DADDY”

1’s prefer to see themselves as being conscientious and above the degenerate riff raff. They’re proper, correct and in integrity, therefore they cannot see themselves as lazy, foolish, wrong, messy or "bad.” Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

1’s avoid outwardly expressing anger to remain “objective” and in control. Because expressing “anger” is “bad.” To be imperfect, incompetent, wrong or out-of-control is death to the 1. This mechanism reinforces the 1's ego because it assures them that they are right, proper, perfect, and correct. Therefore, their survival and identity continues. However, because the 1 is an anger/gut type, they’re constantly churning irritation factories.

If the 1 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 1 utilizes “anger” they are unlikely to allow themselves to see themselves as incorrect, in the wrong, imperfect. 

How this manifests:

Reaction Formation: 1’s can express the opposite of their actual feelings and desires. They do this to reinforce their ego as “not being angry” (being perfect, right, correct, proper, good). Expressing anger is “bad” or what people who have no self-control do. 

Channeling unexpressed anger into physical activities - going hog wild on cleaning, obsessively exercising, restricting food/hedonistic delights, perfectionism fixations, taking a red pen to their life.

Criticality + judgmental concerns projected onto people around them, for their “own good.” To the 1 they’re being responsible, doing the right thing. 

Splitting: Seeing things in black and white under stress (this is good, this is evil). In super low health this can lead to extreme behaviors, like witch-hunting, finger-pointing, being the ‘voice of God’ / judge, jury and executioner.

Rationalization: 1's can rationalize to justify their self-righteousness. “This is the most correct, right, or efficient way to do the thing, therefore I am right and you are wrong.” If you don’t do what I say, it will be to your own detriment.

Hypocrisy: Projecting their own denied desires, feelings and even private behaviors by condemning the same desires, feelings and behaviors in others. They know the right way to be, and you are not being it. They can become preachy about whatever they take issue with, in order to unconsciously overcompensate for their secret bad behavior or naughty thoughts. This ties directly to Shadow Work, because 1's and 1-fixers can have a pungent Shadow full of all kinds of misdeeds and “dark” desires, but be totally blind to them while criticizing others for the same things.

Example: The anti-gay politician who is having an affair with a man, or the barbiturate-poppin' mom who wages a neighborhood campaign against drugs. 

OCD: Obsessively creating more order and rightness in their physical environment, relationships, or self. They can go into “perfecting” mode in order to feel in control of something they cannot control, where they exert order onto their surroundings and right wrongs (like becoming obsessed with cleanliness in their home or laying out ‘rules’ that others must follow). 

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 2 - “MOMMY”

2’s prefer to see themselves as being loving, nurturing, selfless, self-sacrificing, caring towards others, concerned and kind-hearted. Therefore they cannot see themselves as selfish, self-centered, giving to get, cold, heartless or "bad”. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

2’s avoid feeling selfish or needy, by refusing to directly ask to get their needs met or receive what they truly wish from others. 2's unconsciously repress these needs and desires to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are self-sacrificing, needed, good and loving. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 2 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 2 utilizes “pride” they are unlikely to allow themselves to wallow or even acknowledge any wrongdoing or selfishness on their part. It’s the other person’s fault, the 2 is blameless.

How this manifests:

Repression: 2’s hide their needs and "selfish" desires from themselves in order to maintain their caring and indispensable self-image. They use Repression to AVOID feeling needy, unnecessary or rejected. Because of their type structure, they can't see how they are in need of anyone else's help or how they are anything other than self-sacrificing. They cover up these feelings with flattery, offers of help, being intrusive and overly nice. 

2’s prioritize others’ needs in the hopes someone will prioritize theirs. But then when that happens, the 2 goes into rejection mode and wants to get back into position as ‘the helper’ as that’s where their identity is invested.

The 2 projects their needs onto those around them by being overly helpful or intrusive. If they feel like they're not being appreciated or getting their needs met, they can move into covertly "punishing" behaviors to the person they keep giving to or subconsciously create situations in which the person might be forced to give back to them.

Example: The 2 wants help cleaning from their spouse, so over-cleans to the point where they become ill so that their partner is forced to pick up the slack or show them care for all of their self-sacrificing. This can also manifest in ways like them offering to do something and then making the other person wait to receive if they are feeling secretly resentful or not shown adequate appreciation or having their self-image adequately validated.

In low health, 2’s can use “Identification” to take on the needs and worries of those around them as if it’s theirs. They become fretful over other people’s problems. Anything that hurts their loved one hurts them. And it becomes covertly narcissistic, wherein they can make someone else’s suffering about themselves, but also their wins. “If it wasn’t for my help, they wouldn’t have accomplished that.” They can secretly (or not secretly) want undue credit for “help” they’ve provided (whether solicited or not).

2’s use “Reframing” in collaboration with “Repression.” They can reframe their intentions (to maintain a pride in their pure and loving intentions) and reframe others intentions too, lest it burst the sugar-coated bubble they’re desiring to live in or reflect back to them that they’re unwanted.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 3 - “SHAPESHIFTER”

3’s like to see themselves as impressive, competent, successful and admired or valued for what they do or are. Therefore they cannot see themselves as losers, failures, or less than others. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

3’s avoid feeling like a failure or worthless by adapting to external ideals, competing, and striving. 3's unconsciously use “Identification” to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are valuable, worthy, admired and successful. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 3 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 3 utilizes “deceit” they are unlikely to allow themselves to own their failings or true feelings if it interferes with the image they’re projecting.

How this manifests:

3's use "Identification" as a defense mechanism, by unconsciously assimilating with the "other." They use this to avoid feeling like a failure. How this shows up is that they take on the traits, characteristics, attributes, aesthetics, preferences, values and mannerisms of important people in their life, groups, people they see as valuable and those they admire or envy. They do this to create an image of success (to themselves and/or others).

Denial/Projection: 3’s can blame others for their failures or what isn’t working for them, offloading image fails onto others to distance themselves from shame. Just like they can take on others traits/behaviors/stories, they can offload those same things onto others as well. 

Deception: This collection of traits is their "self image" and where their ego and self-worth resides, and because their external sources and what is valued may change, it can give 3's a shapeshifter quality depending on who or what they're surrounded by, what they value, what they do. Underneath this layer of shiny baubles is still a 'shame type' and so without this sometimes fragile self-image being upheld they are but a raw, shameful nerve. Because of this, they can lose contact with their own internal compass, needs, desires and their authentic self. They prioritize what gets them those positive hits and bolsters their ego/self-image. They can be totally asleep to this inner incongruence, and be deceiving themselves, especially in lower levels of health.

Numbing/Workaholism: 3’s can use numbing so they don’t get stuck in the emotional swamp and become unproductive. They can power down the “I’m a failure, I’m upset, I’m emotional” aspect and power up the drive to override emotional slop that might get in their way. They might override this with going hard into working around the clock, substances, shopping/spending a lot or doing something flashy to bolster their self-image. 

Competition: 3’s can get caught up in competition, using others as a stepping stone or a way to boost their own image by comparison (“see how much better of a job I’m doing than Ted.”) They might do this to the point where they end up chasing someone else’s dreams and totally shooting themselves in the foot.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 4 - “DISDAINFUL DEPRESSIVE”

4’s like to see themselves as separate, uniquely flawed, deep, and the special exception. Therefore they cannot see themselves as mundane, relatable, ordinary, adaptable, or even for many 4’s functional. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

4’s avoid feeling mundane, ordinary, relatable, shallow, functional or happy. 4's unconsciously self-sabotage and focus on the negative and what’s frustrating, to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are deep, different, uniquely flawed and unlike anyone else. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 4 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 4 utilizes envy (what is missing) they are unlikely to allow themselves to see where they are functional, relatable, understandable or even happy. They subconsciously craft a self-image that rejects any "positive" information about themselves that comes into conflict with this existing "negative" image.

How this manifests:

Introjection: Introjection is presented as absorbing another person's identity or feelings (like a parent) and transferring it to themselves. However, it's more nuanced and specific than that for 4’s. 4's aren't just taking in any old information, they're unconsciously taking in evidence that they are broken, estranged, alien, fucked up and damaged - and this is great news to them. While the external world may be giving the 4 fuel, their experience has almost nothing to do with the outside world. The outside world is just serving to fuel the 4's internal narrative. The 4 weaves these evidentiary mementos into a story. They identify with specific negative traits that reinforce that they are separate, rare, deeply flawed so as to never quite be understood or capable of being happy and functional.

They do this unconsciously as a way to cope with the pain of feeling broken, unwanted, dysfunctional and different. They weave the negative narratives into their identity and shape it into a way that makes them feel in control of it, to project depth and meaning onto it vs someone or something outside of themselves creating their story and making it shallow. The more they associate into this negative state, the more dysfunctional they can become and the more it supports their type's ego structure. Without these narratives they feel naked and non-existant. Because their self-image is inherently negative, they are “positively” associated with being in a negative, frustrated, unsatisfied state.

Idealization: Idealizing people or situations as a way to generate feelings to pull the 4 away from the mundane reality/experience. This idealization is a frustration pattern designed to keep them in a loop of disappointment and longing because nothing will ever live up to what they hope, something will always be missing and the 4 can never truly actualize or be happy as a result. And if it is everything they’ve ever wanted, the 4 is likely to find something wrong anyway or create a problem where there is none.

As a result, the 4 might self-sabotage opportunities that would actually aid them in being functional, capable, happy, or get them what they claim they want. They may discard things, people, ideas, pursuits if they feel too easy, cheap, relatable, mundane. Or keep churning up issues and provocations that will lead to them being able to say, “see, I never get to have what I want.” Or “I knew no one would understand.”

Splitting: 4’s reject what’s “not me” and often find what’s not to their tastes or “not me” disgusting. Everything that’s not in the frustrated realm that the 4 approves of is superficial, shallow, ugly, vapid, horrible, etc. For the faceless masses, not the 4. Being at odds with reality helps reinforce their self-identity. I’m not like that, therefore I’m deep.

Because 4’s are usually creative or self-identify with the idea of being an artist/writer/creative, their tragically romantic, broken and disdainful views can be expressed through their art. They may overdo it in making it unpalatable or abstract. Or if they become popular they may self-sabotage their own success or self-image by being provocative, turning on their fans/the public, becoming moody, self-destructive or unpredictable. They’ll likely move away from what is expected or desired by their fanbase, even if they secretly desire an audience. Or maybe they’ll over-specify how they present themselves and shroud themselves in mystery in a way that others cannot easily relate to, they can only *bear witness.*

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 5 - “BRUNDLEFLY”

5’s like to see themselves as insightful, competent, self-sufficient, independent and objective. Therefore they cannot see themselves as emotional, human, helpless or dependent on others. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

5’s avoid feeling dependent on others, helpless, depleted, or engulfed in the messy world. 5's unconsciously retreat inwards and withhold energy and information, detach, and compartmentalize to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are competent, objective, smarter than everyone else and above the mortal coil. 

Because the 5 utilizes avarice (hoarding inner resources) they are unlikely to allow themselves to allow themselves to be put in a position where they are “needed” for anything outside of the scope of their specific interest/competency focus, or entangle themselves with hot messes (people or situations). Of all the types, this is maybe the one that is least likely to give a shit if they have a shadow, tbh.

How this manifests:

Isolation: 5’s retreat and protect their inner sanctum from being invaded or picked clean by the outside world. They use isolation to avoid dependence on others or having to be interlaced with their chaotic whims and needs which may disrupt what the 5 would rather be doing with their time (some kind of mind pursuit). They may design their entire lives to protect themselves against intrusion.

Detachment: 5’s use detachment as a means to cope when they feel overwhelmed. They disconnect from and retreat from their own and others’ unstable feelings. In order to feel competent and safe and conserve their mental resources, they can cut all contact or need for the outside world.

They use ‘rejection’ methods of cutting off and compartmentalizing to ensure they’re not swallowed up in the messy ass human bullshit of this humdrum existence. This may show up as minimizing their needs (physical, relational, financial, emotional). They’re the most likely to live in some secret, off-grid tiny home. Not the one with all the gardens and crops and goats, but the one that has the bare minimum to survive where they can focus on their studies or whatever their mental obsession is, far away from other people. 

They can have totally hidden worlds within worlds that others know nothing about. Each world dangerously close to being lopped off at a moment’s notice if the 5 sees no use for it anymore. They dump all of their energy into their main pursuit because it’s where they feel “safe” and valuable, and so the outside world interfering with that feels like an attack on their very existence. By overdoing this one area of “competency” they can actually make themselves unable to actually be independent or functional. So to them they may seem overly competent, but to the outside world they may seem bizarre and dysfunctional.

5’s use compartmentalization of emotions, energy, and relationships. Separating their thoughts from feelings, and putting people into boxes to be dealt with or utilized instead of truly connected to. This can have a dehumanizing effect on the people around them who don’t want to only interact with the 5 when they have the inner resources or only interact with them on narrow and specific terms. By doing this, the 5 effectively shuts out having to deal with whatever they don’t want to but also hacks off pieces of their own heart, spirit, and humanity which is the only true place to create and mine for the insights and independence they seek.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 6 - “CITIZEN EMO”

6’s like to see themselves as loyal, hardworking, just a regular person, authentic, responsible, fair and connected to the family/community/tribe, etc. Therefore they cannot see themselves as bad, traitorous, pompous or “too good.” Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

6’s avoid feeling unsafe, uncertain or abandoned in their attachments and support systems (physical, group, partner). 6's unconsciously seek security/safety (and dangers), truth (and lies) and support systems they can trust and rely on to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are accepted, part of the tribe, safe, secure, supported and prepared. Therefore their survival continues.

If the 6 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 6 utilizes “fear” (and anxiety) they are unlikely to allow themselves to relax, ease up, stop hunting for discrepancies or what could go wrong.

How this manifests:

Projection: 6’s project their worst fears and worst case intentions onto other people. They’re always sniffing out danger in the world and in their connections. Who’s being disloyal? Who’s up to no good? They can engage in investigative, gossipy behaviors, seeking out clues of their worst fears. Sometimes they project their own behaviors, feelings and thoughts onto others and then fear being blamed or accused (which leads to projecting).  

On the flipside, they can project idolization fantasies onto “experts”, simping people who they can put all their trust and outsource their thinking to. They do this to create certainty within themselves. 

Worst Case Scenario: Projections can also show up as “predictions” where the 6 may anticipate the worst and then by overfocusing on this negative outcome, they manifest it into reality. Their worst case scenario becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy. (“See! I knew the basement was going to flood!” Or “See! I knew you’d cheat on me!”) This churning distrust has them always on the hunt, and never feeling safe. 

Splitting: Like other types they can see things in “black and white”, good or bad, you’re with me or against me. 6’s can be tribal and overly-identified to their “side” - whether that’s ideologically, politically, religiously or just in their general friend groups.

Outsourcing anxiety: They can overdose on anxiety in order to reach equilibrium. They project their internal anxieties into the outside world in the hopes that someone else will solve the problem for them. Like constantly bringing people’s attention to the negative or what could go wrong. They cannot rest until someone else validates and matches their concern. They want help to deal with the problem (real or imagined) and for someone else to assuage their fears. 

Redirect overwhelming fears from one source onto another source that they feel is easier to manage (like a loved one, peer, boss).

Rebellion: 6’s can get anti-authoritarian when their trust is broken, they’re disappointed, or they engage in “splitting.” They can be mega social justice warriors and fight for what is “right”, but in doing so they can totally lose perspective and go so hard in fighting for justice that they actually become the bad guy.

6’s can also be hypochondriacs with their anxiety. Excessive worrying, creating symptoms and scenarios out of the ether. They can circle the drain, fixating on problem after potential problem. They can literally bring forth a potential health catastrophe into reality with constant focus on it. This paranoia can manifest in many ways, but sometimes they’re right!

Self-deprecation: They also may use self-deprecation or humor, or presenting as an “underdog” as a way to deflect being targeted or being seen as too big for their britches. They can project this onto other with a ‘tall poppies’ or ‘crabs in the bucket’ mentality.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 7 - “MAD HATTER HEDONIST”

7’s like to see themselves as interesting, exciting, innovative, individualistic, creative and fun. Therefore they cannot see themselves as boring, normal, part of the grind or a downer. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

7’s avoid feeling trapped, limited, stifled, cut off and bored. 7's unconsciously seek new, interesting people/things/situations/interests to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are fascinating, buoyant, original and compelling creatures. Therefore their survival continues.

Because the 7 utilizes “gluttony” they are unlikely to allow themselves to stagnate for too long, moving onto the next thing and the next thing and the next thing.

How this manifests:

Rationalization: Which means the 7 can subconsciously (or consciously) rationalize away shitty behaviors and dodge responsibility. They are usually averse to their specific flavours of what is “painful” and will reframe reframe reframe themselves up up up and away from whatever that source of “pain” is. Whether it’s the guilt of doing something awful, or the fall-out of saying something flippantly, or the consequences of a thoughtless action. They’re especially prone to rationalizing if making the pain conscious means they’re not able to do, be or have something they desire. 

Distraction: They go into distraction seeking mode via hedonism, intellectual stimulation, adventures, extreme sports, partying, being totally manic and creating for 3 days straight, shopping, etc when they want to avoid discomfort, pain, boredom.

Repression: They use repression to bury negative emotions (in whatever flavour they despise) and push away anything that makes them feel like they’ve been victimized. 7’s can be emotional and melodramatic but it’s in the flavour they find the most interesting. They’re not here to be a boring victim or cry themselves to sleep every night over a loser.

Anticipation/Planning: They can over idealize an outcome to the point where they are more about getting the dopamine hits off anticipation than actually doing the thing or seeing whatever their harebrained scheme is through to completion.

Entitlement: 7’s can be massive brats about getting what they want. As frustration types they’re often focused on what they don’t have and what they want, but because they’re assertive they’re more likely to chase after it, expect it to be given to them, or push people out of the way to get it.

Pleasure-seeking/Hedonism: 7’s reject that which is not pleasurable because there’s nothing in it for them. When 7’s get into this “thank you, next” pattern it can become impossible for them to actualize or stick to something long enough for them to enjoy the fruits of all their initial excitement. The sparkle fades and there’s nothing tasty for the 7 to stick around and lick, so they’re likely to start looking for something else.

Rebellion: Like 6’s, 7’s can also be rebellious, but their reasons for rebelling are likely centered around freedom (literally or freedom of expression), anti-censorship, pro-individuality/individual choice. They can also just rebel for the hell of it if they’re bored, or if there are hot people associated with a cause.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 8 - “FINAL BOSS”

8’s like to see themselves as powerful, invulnerable, independent, intimidating IDGAF leaders. Therefore they cannot see themselves as weak, under someone else’s heel, being controlled, powerless or soft. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

8’s avoid feeling weak, vulnerable, powerless, small or allowing anything to threaten them. 8's unconsciously deny vulnerabilities and weaknesses to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are indeed powerful and no one can or will fuck with them. Therefore their survival continues.

Because the 8 utilizes “lust” they are unlikely to allow themselves to put themselves in a position where they could be steamrolled, deprived, slowed down or made small or powerless.

How this manifests:

Denial: 8’s use “Denial” by rejecting their own vulnerabilities or weaknesses. This can show up as denying emotions, fears, thoughts that don’t serve the 8’s ego identification of being powerful. They can also completely deny the existence of any perceived weak points that an “enemy” could use against them. If possible, they will lop off anyone or anything that causes them agitation (people, situations) or seems like a threat to their inner or outer sanctuary that they’ve created.

Rejection/Coldness: They can view softness and receptivity as death. If they weaken for a moment, they’ll get screwed over or tricked.

Reaction Formation: 8’s can express the opposite of how they feel. So they can feel really hurt but act like they’re emotionally impervious. You have no effect on the 8. You don’t matter. If you’ve wounded their steel heart, you’ll pay the price. Like the 7 they can deny victimhood, but they might personally feel quite slighted and seek revenge to get the ball back in their court, the power back in their hands, for how the person made them feel.

Aggression/assertiveness: 8’s can take up space and project an air of confidence in order to pre-defend against would-be attacks. Showing up with big bear or chaos demon energy ensures no one will fuck with them and that they’ll get what they want. Therefore they can be domineering, bossy, straight-shooters. My way or the highway.

Control/conquering: 8’s can be hyper controlling and even paranoid, depending on their position and the situation. They can take on the role of puppetmaster or dictator, to ensure things happen according to their plan and they’re not at the whims of someone else or underneath someone else’s thumb.

Justification: 8’s can be impulsive with their anger and feeling absolutely justified. The desired effect can be to crush whatever is pissing them off with their brutality and force.

ENNEAGRAM TYPE 9 - “SOOTHING SQUISH”

9’s like to see themselves as chill, empathetic, caring, supportive and deep. Therefore they cannot see themselves as provocative, disruptive, thoughtless, aggressive or selfish. Of course, when going too hard into the personality type’s false belief, it creates a big ol’ shadow. 

9’s avoid feeling in conflict and stressed out. 9's unconsciously seek to be in harmony and flow with those around them and their environment to reinforce their type's ego because it assures them that they are chill, harmonious and connected.

If the 9 catches themselves in the act, or someone else does (gasp), it may increase the dissonance between the Shadow and Unintegrated Self if they don’t understand that it’s just their personality bs. Because the 9 utilizes “sloth” they are unlikely to allow themselves to just get after it, make demands, make bold moves.

How this manifests:

Narcotization/Dissociation: 9’s use narcotization which means to numb, to ease discomfort. This can manifest in multiple ways, falling asleep at the wheel of life - outsourcing decisions, independence, physical needs, to others. It can also show up as losing yourself in mindless side-tasks instead of just dealing with problems. They can dissociate from problems by numbing their heart and mind to what’s in front of them, or to just hope it resolves itself without any involvement or disruption to the 9’s existence.

9’s repress their anger in favor of keeping peace. They can be really annoyed and not able to verbalize it until it reaches a crisis point for the 9. The other person may be totally shocked when it happens, especially if the 9 kept telling them that everything was fine.

Passive Aggression: 9’s express how they feel indirectly and hoping the person picks up on their subtle cues without them having to generate conflict. This can also just slip out subconsciously through offhand comments, looks, tone or behaviors. And when confronted with it, they’ll likely recede into a mist and say nothing’s wrong.

9’s can also use “positive reframing”, not unlike 7, but theirs is more used as a numbing agent, smoothing out a dire situation or other people’s malintent, rudeness, or shitty behavior so it doesn’t result in conflict or upset.

Outsourcing: 9’s often give their power away, instead of asking for what they want or expressing themselves without being prompted. They can become disappointed when others fail to mind-read or intuit their needs without them having to assert themselves or vocalize it.

Self-Forgetting: Because 9’s can dance around their location in order to keep the peace and not lose connection, they can forget what they want or how they really feel about something.

Merging: Like 3’s, 9’s merge with the people around them, often taking on their interests, aesthetics, values and even mannerisms. However the 9 isn’t doing it to become an ideal and compete for validation, they do it because they over-identify with the idealized other to create harmony and melt into them.

7’s and 9’s can both procrastinate and get lost in multiple fantasies of possibilities, but the difference is that the 7 is likely taking an active, assertive approach and throwing spaghetti at the wall, whereas the 9’s dreams can fade away if they don’t have another person holding them accountable or a job to show up for or something external. 

Ghosting: Instead of just saying “no,” often 9’s will be vague or give a “maybe” or “sure” if they don’t know their location in the moment or don’t want to rock the boat. And then they’ll disappear when followed up with.  

SELF-REFLECTION PROMPTS (FOR JOURNALING)

Did you cringe at any of the behaviors listed? did you recognize any of these in yourself?

write out which ones you recognized. no judgment. it's not "you", it's just behaviors Created out of your personality's false belief. Unpack them. go back to the situation. what were you feeling at the time? what was running through your mind?

What did you need to know in that moment to feel totally safe and make a different choice?

What different choice can you make next time?

What would be the worst thing someone could say about you or make you feel? 

Is there anything in your life that you can see as you trying to avoid this being said about you, control people's perceptions, or avoiding feeling?

Can you accept this behavior in yourself right now, forgive yourself, and choose to be more consciously aware?

If you want the accompanying "Unf*ck Yourself" mini workshop + pdf workbook join the membership and get it instantly. I apologize for how dry this is. Want to get typed or coached by me? Book here.

[studentinpursuitofclouds]

"What do you know about losing loved ones?"

Another random SVE one-shot because why not lol

Warning: Mentions of death, angst.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

At exactly five in the morning, when the Church of Yoba had just opened its huge doors to visitors to the Castle Village, Isaac immediately stepped inside, bowing politely to the attendants who let the local protector inside. The monk, closing the door behind the man, gave the adventurer and hero a sympathetic glance before returning to his duties and prayers.

Everyone else, who had managed to already be awake this early, left Isaac alone, not preventing him from approaching the huge Statue of Yoba. They all knew that Isaac would not want to talk or open up to the ministers about what was bothering him right now.

They already knew what's bothering him.

For the fourth year now, on the 23rd of Fall, he had come to the church exactly at five in the morning, to stand in silence at the statue and pray for the soul of his lost love, and the friends who had fallen from that day.

A date that became a tragedy for the world of swords and magic: a routine mission involving a group of adventurers, mages and witches of 13 people ended in the death of all the young defenders of the human race against monsters. Seven adventurers and two twin witches from the Castle Village, the other four were members of other Guilds and Clans, fell from the fangs and claws of an unseen and terrible monster, later christened by the name "Apophis".

The light from the stained glass windows fell on the tall statue. Isaac gazed at her in silence, but before his eyes were blurred memories of the last time he had seen her...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Isaac, are you worried?"

"What makes you think that?" His love saw right through him, but he was too stubborn to admit it.

"This will just be another patrol mission of the western part of the Crimson Baldlans, nothing serious. We're not going into battle and we'll teleport right away if things gets nasty," she walked over to the dark haired man and kissed his cheek, giving him the most gentle smile. "I'll be back soon, darling. Wait for me."

"...I'll be back soon.... "...wait for me...." Those words echoed in Isaac's head as he sobbed over the bloody corpse of his lover.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"There you are," Lance's voice immediately pulled Isaac out of the trance state he'd been in for over half an hour. "Alesia said I'd find you here."

The pink-haired man approached the statue, and he and Isaac stood for a full minute in silence, remembering the fallen comrades who had given their lives in defence of the village.

"What does Camilla want this time?" Isaac didn't want to talk to anyone at all today, but apparently fate had decided otherwise.

"Not here, my friend."

Once outside in the fresh air, both men began to walk slowly towards the Castle Village Guild.

"Camilla is calling all the adventurers to a meeting. It seems the problem with Apophis was much more serious than we thought."

Apophis, how many times had Isaac cursed that name, the culprit of all misfortunes, the vile thing that would never die!

"The Order of Pythagoras and the Ministry of Magic believe that our only option to kill this monster is to ambush it. Lure Apophis to the right place, and then launch a series of attacks."

"And what exactly do they want me to do?" The scarred adventurer stopped and crossed his arms, waiting for an answer. Lance frowned, and Isaac realised he wasn't going to like what his colleague was about to tell him.

"One of the squads should be the decoy. They want your squad to do this."

"What?"

He couldn't believe his own ears. There were various rumours that the main organisations in Castle Village weren't shy about making such... decisions to achieve a goal for the "common good".

But Isaac's squad, the young, still very green recruits... They won't be able to stand up to the monsters of the Crimson Baldlans!

"Camilla, Magnus and Marlon protested about the idea, or at least asked to replace your squad with a group of professionals," Lance shook his head disapprovingly, he himself still in shock at the Order and Ministry's cold-blooded plan. "We don't know what the verdict will be yet-"

"My recruits are still too inexperienced."

"We tried to explain to the heads of the Ministry, but-"

"I don't care what the fucking Ministry says!" Isaac's voice was already starting to speak in a raised tone.

"I understand that, but-"

Isaac grabbed Lance sharply by the collar and hissed venomously:

"What do you know about this? What do you even know about what it's like to lose loved ones?! When bloody incompetent idiots send your friends and family to certain death!"

The one-eyed adventurer wanted to yell even louder, when suddenly he felt a not-so-subtle pain all over his body, as if invisible needles were pressing into his skin, causing him to freeze in place.

"I advise you not to swear and shout, dear friend. We still are on church grounds, after all."

Bastard, probably takes great pleasure in using magic on him, doesn't he?

Threatening a mage, especially a battle mage like Lance, wasn't the wisest decision, but Isaac's thoughts were clouded with rage and pain.

Except that when Isaac's anthracite eyes met Lance's violet ones, he didn't see the usual mockery or laughter, no hint of mirth or mischief in them. Only emptiness Isaac had seen in his own reflection after...

...after her funeral.

"You're not the only one who lost dear ones in that massacre..."

Lance dispelled the spell, allowing Isaac's body to relax.

"You're in full power to challenge their decision. Besides, no one pretty much agrees with their plan, so clearly they'll be looking for an alternative."

The pink-haired man turned his back to Isaac and headed for the Guild while Isaac stood still, pondering his colleague's words...

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

"Lance?"

"Yes, my love?"

"You're not mad that I asked you to keep... us both a secret?"

'No, but you do realise we're going to have to tell them sooner or later."

"Yeah I know, I know! It just... I don't know, scared that my father and mother wouldn't accept you."

"They're very nice and kind people."

"Yeah, but you're an adventurer, and they're not usually very trusting-"

"I know."

"I promise I'll tell them everything tomorrow. After my mission."

"A mission?"

"Mm-hmm. Just a routine recon in Crimson Baldlans with the others, but it's my first mission outside the Village! Finally, I've got a real mission! And when I get back, we're going straight to my parents. Oh, I'm nervous."

"Don't worry, I won't leave you."

"I know you won't. Lance?"

"Hmm?"

"Love you."

"I love you, too, my soul. Go to sleep. We got a lot to do tomorrow..."

...Lance would never forget the twisted in anger and sadness faces of his lover's parents, who, on receiving the sad news of their only son's death, were cursing Lance and all the adventurers and mages who had brainwashed their son into becoming an adventurer.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[googleitlol]

This is leading up to some of my favourite stuff, we're getting closer to when dove and wukong can stop antagonizing each other so much but first they gotta go through a little more, uh… 'growing pains'.

Anyway have fun with this bit!

Dove Masterlist:

A Friend

“What did you do?” You frown at the three disciples looking to one another as though they didn’t have the answer themselves. “We’ve barely been here half a day!”

Bajie scratches the back of his head sheepishly while a worried smile stretches over his features. “Heh, I may have overheard our two hosts discussing how Master rejected their ginseng fruit. I was only curious, and Monkey was the one who took them.”

“You what?!” You look back at the trio in shock. You’ve heard of ginseng, a powerful fruit that can extend your life hundreds of years by smelling its aroma alone. Eating it can enable a person to live until their forty-seven thousandth year! The fruit itself can often appear to have limbs, it's what Tripitaka must have mistaken for a baby. You’ve heard how it takes nearly ten thousand years for a ginseng tree to bear its fruit, and these fools stole them?!

Wukong slaps Bajie on the arm. “Why would you tell her?!”

“We’re all at fault,” Sandy steps in, “we all ate the fruit.”

“Yeah, but Monkey had an extra one.” Pigsy tattles, his brother in question giving him a look of offence. Wukong raises his hands in defence, stepping closer to the pig. “I told you, the first one dropped!”

“And it doesn’t excuse the fact that we all ate one.” Wujing rests a hand on each of their shoulders, a subtle attempt to diffuse the situation.

“Stop it, all of you!” You shout over their bickering. Once they finally manage to quiet down, you continue. “What’s done is done, now you have to fix it before Tripitaka pays for it.”

The trio responds with groans and rebuttals, but eventually you manage to drag them back to the main hall where their master waits, accompanied by your two hosts. You can hear the two shouting at the monk before they even enter your line of sight, Monkey King bristling with bubbling annoyance as you all draw closer.  Their faces are pulled down by frowns, their anger present in the twitch of one’s brow.

The Tang Monk himself appears tired, an understandable feeling given the situation. “These two have informed me that some of their ginseng have gone missing.”

“It isn’t missing!” One shouts, pointing an accusatory finger at Tripitaka. “It was stolen, we know it! I’ve never seen a monk with such a lack of control over his disciples.”

“Master Zhenyuan tried to tell us how rowdy and disruptive your demonic disciples really are. I should have taken those warnings more seriously.” The other chimes in with a huff.

The bout of passion makes Monkey laugh. “Am I to believe you assume we did it?” The question makes you frown inwardly, the growing irritation staying buried for the sake of appearances. Is he really about to try and play this off like they’re innocent?

“Master Zhenyuan took with him everyone but us to his conference. You are the only ones present to steal it, so it must be you!” The second disciple replies, his frown deepening despite Wukong’s laughter.

The Monkey King shakes his head with a chuckle. “And why would we do that? How would we even know of this ‘ginseng’? You never told us of its existence.”

The first disciple huffs. “We offered it to your master, but he declined it.” “Ah, so you gave it to us.” “No, we ate it.”

“So you ate the ginseng, problem solved!”

“We didn’t eat the stolen fruit, we had what your master was offered!”

“Then the fruit wasn’t stolen?”

“No– I mean, yes! It was stolen! You’re mixing my words.” “I would never think to trick you in such a way.” Wukong grins, and you do your best not to roll your eyes.

Finally, the first disciple sighs. “Fine, then. We will go and count the fruit again. If there are less than twenty-eight, we will know that you stole it.” With a nod to his brother daoist, they exit towards the gardens. Back to the tree to recount the same number of fruits. What on earth does this ape think he’s doing?

A small gust of wind blows past, and you turn to see the source: another Wukong with his arms crossed, his smile so smug, you might think he managed to somehow bring the ginseng back on his own. There is, of course, one way you can think to restore the fruit, though it’s a last resort you don’t want to use unless absolutely necessary. But those thoughts hardly matter when you and the monks are faced with a second Sun Wukong.

The group looks in befuddlement back at the newcomer Monkey King as he lets out a breath. “To think they would shout at you like that, Master. You really should be grateful that I’m here for you.”

“What?” Tripitaka frowns, looking between the two monkeys while your own face pales. Realisation hits as the monk questions his disciple. “What is going on? Why are there two of you?”

“I thought to let a clone take care of our disrespectful hosts while I took care of a few things.” He shrugs half-hazardly, the copy returning to its original state as he did, a small tuft of hair.

“You just convinced them to go back and recount the fruit.” The monkey stiffens as you speak, which only serves to make the growing knot in your stomach tighten. “Sun Wukong… where were you just now?” He makes eye contact with you, and for the first time on this journey you see the impossible sight of slight regret in his golden irises. Whatever he has done, it’s best to assume that now is the time to leave. You quickly turn back to Pigsy. “Go grab our luggage, I’ll help you. Wujing, retrieve Ao Lie and bring him to the front gates. Tripitaka, wait at the gates with Wukong and get ready to ride.”

Tripitaka calls out for you as you turn to leave with Bajie. “Wait, you want us to run? Do you not think that is a bit of an over-reaction–” As he finishes his inquiry, one of the two disciples lets out a scream so loud their voice is able to carry throughout the entire temple.

“I think this is a perfectly reasonable response.” You answer, catching Wukong’s gaze for a moment and glaring before running off with Pigsy to retrieve everyone’s luggage. With how little you all carry, it took little time to gather everyone’s things and meet the others outside.

Sandy already has Tripitaka on the horse, the group exiting the gates and racing down the mountain once you and Bajie arrive. Wujing takes what you’re carrying and you transform to keep up with the other demons and horse’s fast pace. Tripitaka looks back on occasion, watching carefully for any signs that your group was being pursued.

Even without any signs of chase, you and the pilgrims continue in your pace well-into the night. Only when you distance yourself from the mountain does the group of pilgrims slow to a stop. Ao Lie diverts from the path that leads away from the mountain, guiding the pilgrims to take cover along the edges of a forest. With the cover of the surrounding foliage and night, you transform back as everyone takes a moment to breathe. Of course, just when you get a break from the demons and dilemma-inducing rivers, something has to come along to keep everyone on their toes. To make matters worse, you ran from Zhenyuan’s temple! Perhaps he might’ve forgiven the disciples for eating his ginseng, but the look on Monkey’s face before you left was enough to dissuade that notion from your mind. You just hope his disciples that had been hosting you would be alright.

Despite the worries racing through your mind, they’re put to a halt when you hear Wukong’s laughter. “That was a close one, wasn’t it?”

Pigsy, while crouching with his hands on his knees to regain his breath, looks to the disciple in confusion. “Brother, what happened?” At the question, the demon lets out a nervous chuckle.

“I may have gotten a little angry. I mean, you saw how they were shouting at Master!” He scratches his head nervously.

Tripitaka dismounts from the horse, stepping closer to his disciple. “Pilgrim, what did you do?”

The monkey demon looks between his master and his brothers, then to you before turning back to Tripitaka. His weight shifts from one leg to the other. “I, uh, may have gone back to the ginseng tree. Andknockeditover.” He adds on the last part quickly, averting his gaze to the ground.

His swiftly-spoken words are caught easily, the Tang Monk’s eyes widening considerably while you digest the information. “You what?!” 

“At least we’re out of there, didn’t you hear what those idiots were saying to you?” He defends himself, though it barely registers to you. How could he have been so stupid? Can he never learn from his mistakes?! “I couldn’t just stand there and listen to how they were treating us. Nobody disrespects Old Monkey and gets away with–”

The demon is cut off as the palm of your hand meets his face.

The echo of the slap is met with silence and wide eyes, shock engraved in the faces of your companions that you don’t digest. All you can hone in on is the source of your anger, emotion you feel boiling to the surface. You clench your fist in an effort to contain it. “Do you ever think about anyone besides yourself?! All you had to do was apologise! Is your ego too inflated for even that?”

“How dare you–” He steps into your space, eyes narrowing but you stop him again.

“That fruit didn’t belong to those disciples, it belongs to their master! What might happen to them if he returns with nobody else to blame for your actions?” You push your finger into his chest, though it doesn’t push him back much. “One might think spending five hundred years under a mountain would change a person, but you’re still as selfish and narcissistic as you ever were!”

You can feel your hand shaking with anger, and quickly turn away with a scoff. “I shouldn’t even be wasting my breath on you.” Before he can have the chance to argue, you transform and fly off, rushing into the cool night air to give yourself a moment to breathe. You’re getting too worked up, and shouting won’t change anything. Sometimes it was just difficult to remember that with him around.

You don’t go too far, finding a nearby stream pretty quickly to rest beside. You turn back and begin to pace, finding that moving often helps calm you down. It's a struggle, your anger still bubbling beneath your skin. Words can only do so much to describe how you feel. After spending all this time with him, you’d think the Monkey King might have eventually become easier to be around. Maybe you’d be able to get along with him better after all this time, but no. You’ve had moments of sympathy, moments of understanding, but every time a step is made towards the two of you coexisting peacefully, he makes you take three steps back.

After some time, you kneel by the stream, dipping your hand into the cool water and letting it weave around your fingers. Stealing the fruit was one thing, but knocking down the tree? The ginseng itself takes thousands of years to grow, it’s why you never had the option to eat it yourself during your stay in the heavens. How long did it take for that tree to grow old enough to bear such fruit? Only for it to be knocked down by an impulsive ape.

Your thoughts are put on hold by footsteps and steady trots slowly approaching, and you turn to see Tripitaka steadily making his way to you with Ao Lie. You quickly rise to your feet to meet them, their appearance reminding you of how you very publicly slapped someone in front of your group. Yes… that may have also been a bit impulsive yourself.

“Are you alright?” Tripitaka gives you a perturbed look, and you can only imagine Ao Lie would share it if not for his current form.

You quickly nod. “Yes. I apologise for causing a scene, Tang Monk. I should not have snapped the way I did, especially in front of all of you.” As you speak, he steps closer, meeting you at the water’s edge.

“For how often the two of you bicker, I was surprised it took this long for something like this to happen.” You almost see a trace of an amused smile, though it is quickly exchanged with worry. “Though, it was surprising that out of everything I’ve witnessed from my disciple, this is what has upset you the most.”

Moving past you, the monk takes a seat by the stream, gesturing for you to join him. “They all ate the fruit, you know.” He hums, his eyes watching the water.

You look down as you take your seat next to him, your hands fidgeting in discomfort as you try to distil your lingering anger. “He’s the one who stole it. He brought down their tree.”

You feel Tripitaka’s glance but are unable to meet his eyes. “Your anger, if you don’t mind my saying so, feels more personal than that.” At that, you look back at him in surprise. “Perhaps talking about it could help alleviate some of that feeling?”

You can’t help but feel a little taken aback by the offer. “I couldn’t ask that of you, but I appreciate the offer.” You give an awkward laugh, shaking your head.

“Nonsense.” He rests a hand on your shoulder. “How many times is it now that you’ve given me peace of mind? The very least I could do is lend an ear to a friend that needs it.”

Friend? The title takes you by surprise. You look at the man for a minute, who simply offers a smile. After a few moments, you return the look with a soft smile of your own. It’s been months since you’ve started this journey with Tripitaka, you suppose there isn’t much harm in sharing your thoughts with him like this.

With a sigh, you look back to the steam. “He’s never thought about anyone other than himself, it’s infuriating. Even before we began this journey, the ‘great Monkey King’ has never shown any regard for others.” You start, closing your fists as you speak.

“I remember you mentioning you’ve met before. Is it right for me to assume his actions when you first met were just as callous?” Tripitaka inquires, his assumption almost making you smile with its accuracy.

“Even before we met.” You shake your head, a frown quickly finding its way onto your face. You begin to recall the Peach Festival, how your master had planned to give you a peach of immortality for the journey, and how Sun Wukong took all the stone fruit for himself.

Tripitaka nods along as you explain the reason behind your time in the heavens. “So Sun Wukong took your chance to become immortal?”

“It was more than that.” You continue as your reflection frowns up at you. “A few months after I moved to the palace, I was retrieved by Moksa to visit a village close to our master’s home.” You look back to the man as you elaborate. “After being rescued from my own village, I spent my years growing there. When I was young and had just learned my transformation, the other children would go into the woods with me. They made a game out of trying to find me in the trees.” A soft melancholy smile begins to form on your face, the memories faint but still present.

It only lasts for a few moments. “Lin… He was a good friend of mine. Before the Peach Festival, I promised to tell him what it was like there. He had just become a man before my departure and when I came back… he was elderly. Surrounded by a family I couldn’t recognise. He died as I fulfilled my promise to tell him what I had seen before I was taken back.” You feel your eyes begin to water but continue nonetheless. “Five days later, Moksa brought me down once more to say goodbye to his wife, a woman I thought of as a sister. A week after that, our friend, Guiying. By the end of that month, I had lost nearly everyone I knew.” Your voice starts to crack so you pause to clear your throat and turn your gaze back to the stream, though you can feel Tripitaka's eyes on you.

“Whether or not I could have had that peach, I knew I would have to say goodbye eventually. But without it, I missed their entire lives. Their weddings, their first child, I couldn’t comfort them when they lost their parents. They all lived their lives… and I never got the chance to be there for it.” You notice a tear in your reflection before your expression hardens. “All because of that selfish demon.”

For a few seconds, it’s silent, but it doesn’t take long for Tripitaka to speak. “I’m sorry, I can hardly imagine how hard it must have been. I can barely hold myself together when a demon jumps onto our path.” He laughs a bit when reflecting on his own struggles, and it makes you crack a smile. “Does Wukong know what he’s done to you?” The question makes you scoff. “He wouldn’t be able to hear past the noise of his own ego even if I tried to explain. All he ever does is belittle others or talk about himself. Even how he defended himself for uprooting the ginseng tree, it wasn’t because they were disrespecting you, it was because they were yelling at his master. If it were Pigsy or Sandy, he would have laughed!”

Your reply makes him hum, the man stroking his chin in thought as you continue. “His main source of entertainment is watching people suffer. I won’t give him the satisfaction of knowing how he ruined my past life.” He doesn’t have a response for that, instead letting the two of you sit as the sound of the stream running past fills the silence.

“…How mad was he that I slapped him?”

Tripitaka gives an amused huff to the question. “Pigsy and Sandy had to hold him back. He stopped fighting them when I stepped in.” You look back from where the monk came from, the horse still watching over the two of you. You partly wonder what the other disciples are doing now. “I think he was less angry about you hitting him, it was more so that he wanted to have the final word.”

That sounds like Sun Wukong. “I won’t apologise for it.”

“Even if I wanted you to, I’m not your master. But Bajie and Wujing should be held accountable as well. I’ll have to think of something for them once we get far enough away from here.” Tripitaka gives a weary sigh, clearly exhausted by his disciple’s antics.

Taking in one last deep breath, you stand up and offer the man a hand. “Thank you, Tripitaka. You were right, it feels nice to have someone to share this with.”

Tripitaka smiles before taking your hand and hoisting himself up. “I am always here to listen. Like I said,  you are my friend.”

“Yes, a friend.” The word makes you smile, your anger feels lighter now, making room for something sweeter. It’s been some time since you’ve had a friend.

[kismetmoon]

The False Shepard, Here To Lead Our Lambs Astray

[ID: a digital drawing of an original, stylised Flatland character named Elizabeth.

Elizabeth is a vaguely humanoid character. She is depicted here with a seven-point star head with an eye in the centre, a clawed right hand and a left arm that is cut in half at the elbow - leading onto a white geometric hand. She has a broad chest that narrows into a thin torso. Her legs are cut out of frame - her body is only shown from the waist up.

She is stood in the centre with her arms held perpendicular to her body and the palms of her hands facing upwards. Over her right hand hovers a white crescent moon with a black earth shadow. Over her left hand hovers a black four-point star. She is smiling and staring slightly upwards. Her body is made up of black lines that get denser at the edges of her head, the bottom of her body and on her forearm.

The background is a stained glass window. There is a yellow and orange sun behind Elizabeth’s head with grey and pale blue glass around it, that fades to purple further down. Faint rays of light also shine out from the sun and into the corners of the canvas.

End ID.]

putting the background story and symbolism about this piece under the cut bc i feel like it really deserves an in-depth explanation

i can’t believe i’ve never properly discussed it before, but Liz’s main goal is to stop Chief turning out like his father.

after she tries and fails to kill their Chief Circle and instead kills his guard in Atlas’s defence (and i’ve decided that this is the incident where she loses her arm), she can’t risk taking any more blows like that. so instead of resorting to physical violence, she instead tries her hand at ‘positive manipulation’ to tear her problem from the root up.

she makes sure Chief has enough emotional ties to the lower classes (Atlas and Vance), irregulars (Ruth and Elijah) and lines (Liz, Ruth, Stella and Irene) for him to reconsider everything he’s been told about them. this is all to make sure that when Chief Sr. kicks the bucket they have a somewhat more progressive next-of-kin lined up to take his place. this works for her as Liz first meets Chief when he’s only about 15, so he’s still pretty young and an impressionable teenager.

but Chief Sr is still alive so boo. he has a strong grip on everything and has Chief Jr pinned under his thumb out of fear. while he doesn’t know about Stella, he does know that this ‘false shepard’ is up to something that involves his son. again, he still doesn’t know exactly who Liz is but he’s working on figuring it out.

so this image of Liz - a large, dark, looming, unnerving figure - is made to fit the circles’ depiction of her. how the next Chief Circle and his daughter are locked in her clawed grasp, and she smiles almost mockingly about it. her prosthetic is replaced by a white geometric hand and it sticks out like a sore thumb, as though it makes her ‘unhuman’ - but easily identifiable. her body is made up of a mass of lines, joined together in their force (danger !! women !!). the glass is only coloured around her head (the sun is the same as her colour palette when she’s not greyscale) and at her ‘feet’ (it’s more like the bottom of her torso but you know what i mean) which is mostly shaped with triangles - as if she’s breaking their world of grey out over the blood of the circles (again, i use purple as circle symbolism). the sun is rising in the sky, as the dawn of a new day and a new era begins.

essentially, she’s a revolutionary of the lower class, and a tyrant to the upper classes.

[cixl-writes]

dump — troublemaker

PAIRING — `` | stuco pres!ahn yujin x stuco vice pres!fem reader

SYPNOSIS — `` | ahn yujin is stressed with everything in her life— from her student council activities to balancing her part time works, she's stressed. and stumbling upon a certain troublemaker–turned–stuco vice prez named kim y/n seemed to worsened her problems even more. or does it?

LINK(S) — `` | dump – ahn yujin

ahn yujin never really liked troublemakers.

as the student council president, it was her responsibility to keep students in line and troublemakers are one of them— yujin hates them with her whole heart.

perhaps, it was because they just fuel her frequent headaches and make more trouble for her to fix.

or perhaps it was because of a certain troublemaker named kim y/n.

kim y/n, that damned girl who is probably the leader of that damned clique. y/n gets into trouble as if it was a daily occurrence in her life, but still; she was the most favored and most loved student in the campus. (for what reasons she was loved, yujin couldn't care less to know.)

and well, it's safe to say that ahn yujin wasn't one of the many students that would willingly kneel before that troublemaker.

additionally, kim y/n just so happens to be her main source of stress right now.

"what a surprise..." kim gaeul, yujin's former treasurer and (hopefully) the new treasurer for this year as well, spoke up in mild disbelief. the development of this was quite astonishing indeed, even the ahn agrees.

tell her honestly; why is that kim y/n standing beside ahn yujin's rival's party-list, acting as if she was also running for the election?

jang wonyoung, the former secretary of last year's student council, grinned at the shock that developed her party-list members at the sight of their unexpected rival.

"oh, yeah. i forgot to mention before, but our rival did scouted kim y/n to be her vice!"

yujin snapped her head to her bestfriend who was waving at that troublemaker's way, glaring. "why didn't you say so sooner?"

wonyoung shrugged innocently, raising her arms up in defence. "i didn't think that it was too important to bring up! plus, you were already too stressed for this kind of thing so i didn't bother."

that was true, but this changes many things.

yujin's vice president would surely lose to a popular figure like kim y/n, and right now, she doesn't know whether she wanted to dig her own grave or jump off a cliff.

"well shit." well shit indeed.

on the other hand, kim y/n hums as she observed the whole gym that seemed so filled with students, eyes glinting with amusement when she saw her friends handing out badges to every student they see.

"i see that things are going swimmingly." oh haewon chuckled at the eager nod y/n gave, her signature smile plastered on her lips.

"of course~! you know that i won't dare to disappoint my sister, hae."

kim minji, y/n's younger sister and ahn yujin's former historian who is also aiming for her former seat, surely wouldn't be disappointed.

to say the truth, y/n only ran for vice president because of her beloved sister's wish. she didn't really care all that much about school matters nor will she willingly get herself involved with the student council if it wasn't for minji.

ah, the things she does for her sister.

she knew of former student council president ahn yujin's distaste for her circle of friends (or the troublemakers), and to say the least, she thinks it's quite fair.

the girl knew that often times, the supposedly 'harmless' pranks her 'friends' pulls causes too much trouble and that the student council is assigned to clean after it.

she never really liked hanging around them, perhaps she only stayed just so she could lessen yujin's (read: minji's) and the student council's headache. it was fine with her even if she looked like their leader, as long as the chaos is reduced.

but now that she's running for the role of vice president, y/n doesn't know how she'll face a certain president who shouldered the consequences of her friends' actions every time.

perhaps, kim y/n could try and get along with her. for the sake of minji's wish.

plus! kim minji had once wisely said, 'they're both aiming for the same thing but they just used different methods.' very different methods.

maybe, that's one of the many reasons as to why the prim and proper student council president ahn yujin and the careless and bright resident golden child kim y/n never gets along.

ah, the ones above seems to hate her this year.

yujin groaned into her arms as she slumped into the cafeteria's many table, her friends glancing at her worriedly. "you know it's not like it's the end of the world."

wonyoung mindlessly commented, spinning the pen on her hand as she stared at the notebook she had in front of her.

"y/n becoming the vice president is the sign of the world ending."

ah yes, kim y/n had won the spot of vice president— quite easily at that. the speech she had presented completely charmed the student body, even the other party-list at that! it was quite the speech, to say the least.

ahn yujin would never admit it but she briefly thought that kim y/n looked very pretty under the spotlight.

kim gaeul chuckled as she sat in front of the exasperated new student council president, handing out the items she had bought to congratulate her friends. "stop exaggerating it, yujin."

"i'm not! she's just— ugh, why did she even run for vice?!"

naoi rei, the exchange from japan, raised an eyebrow at how much hatred her older friend seems to have for her roommate.

"why do you hate her so much? she seems pretty nice, she even helps me out with my homeworks whenever she's free."

"for your information, i do not hate her. she's just annoying—" —ly pretty— "—to look at."

rei lets out a confused sound before laughing a few moments later, confusing her friends. "that's kinda funny, she said something similar to what you just said."

yujin wasn't intrigued enough to know what that y/n thought of her as, not at all.

but well, rei won't budge anyway even if she's intrigued enough— preferring to keep y/n's words to herself.

"you're asking me what i think of ahn yujin? well, i think she's pretty to look at."

ahn yujin thinks that she's going insane for thinking so much about that troublemaker. (not the good kind of insane, unfortunately.)

TAGS:

(1.) @cfvgbhndun-new-blog | (2.) @livelaughloveyujin | (3.) @skisk1 | (4.) @sewiouslyz | (5.) @myothegreat | (6.) @kyaitosz

[elwenyere]

A literally breathtaking essay: remarkable and riveting

"In​ the autumn of 1928, a previously unknown painting turns up on the London art market. It belongs to a Major Henry Howard of Surrey. He is 45 years old. His father has just died and left him a large estate, and he’s selling off much of it – houses, land, family heirlooms. There are death duties; he has five young daughters and a marriage that’s going to end soon. He needs cash.

Howard is knowledgeable about art. He’s a serious connoisseur and collector, an expert on Wenceslaus Hollar, the prolific 17th-century Bohemian printmaker. Among his inheritance is the family’s great collection of paintings, including first-rate 18th-century portraits by Thomas Gainsborough, Joshua Reynolds, Arthur Devis, John Opie, Jonathan Richardson and Richard Cosway, among others. The small, unattributed canvas he disposes of in 1928 is not in the same league. But it does come with an intriguing back story. Most of Henry Howard’s family’s wealth originally came from sugar plantations worked by enslaved people in Jamaica. And this portrait had been owned by a famous ancestor, of whom they are very proud, an 18th-century planter and writer called Edward Long.

So when Howard takes the painting to a London dealer, he explains that it had belonged to his great-great-great-grandfather, who had lived in Jamaica in the mid-18th century; that it was painted in Spanish Town, the colony’s capital; and that it showed a man called Francis Williams, about whom Long had written a whole chapter in his celebrated History of Jamaica (1774). Not only that, he says, but when Long was writing that chapter, he had this painting in front of him and was describing it.

The dealer, Jack Spink, is delighted to have this information and uses it to advertise the picture. He recognises it as an unusual object, with excellent ‘associative’ value, and is sure it will make a quick sale for a good price, probably in America. They like this kind of thing over there. He has some leaflets printed and takes out a full-page advert in Country Life. At the top is a photograph of the painting, and beneath it a lengthy extract from Long’s chapter about Francis Williams – the first two and a half pages of it, no less, in tiny but legible print. That’s the only description provided. To the Howard family, and to Spink, Long’s words explain this picture. It’s an understandable presumption, since pretty much all that is known about Francis Williams comes from Long’s ten-page chapter about him. It remains the only detailed contemporary account of his life, and it was written by someone who had known him.

The problem is that Long was, in fact, Williams’s greatest enemy. His potted biography was a malicious hatchet job, full of lies and half-truths, that sought to bury rather than to commemorate its subject. Long’s huge, three-volume History of Jamaica wasn’t really a ‘history’ at all. Angrily composed in the aftermath of the Somerset ruling of 1772, which had undermined the certainty of slaveholding in England, it was above all a defence of West Indian slavery as ‘inevitably necessary’ and an attempt to prove that all ‘black’ people were naturally inferior to the ‘white race’.

It is ironic, therefore, that Long is our main source about Francis Williams, who in his lifetime (he died in 1762) had been the most famous Black person in the world, at least among educated English-speaking people. He was rich; he was a gentleman; he was a scholar; he was celebrated as a clever and accomplished person. His memory lived on after his death. In 1774, when trying to argue that Black people were inherently less intelligent than ‘Whites’, Long had to accept that his readers would already know about Williams. He was forced to write about him because, to prove his theory of innate white superiority, he needed to take him down."

READ THE REST: SERIOUSLY, READ IT!!!

[proudfreakmetarusonikku]

honestly like I think going after people who use AI for hobbyist fun reasons is kind of missing the forest for the trees. while obviously there’s environmental issues and the inherent ethical issues (and I’m not even talking the content scraping by itself here, i also like don’t really give a shit if someone’s using my art for hobbyist fun as long as they’re not passing it off as their own it's obviously not great but if no one’s making money or anything off it and they’re not pretending they made it it’s relatively harmless- i'm talking about stuff like it’s ability to generate inappropriate content of actual irl kids) those again are like, mostly not coming from people using character.ai, which isn’t to say there’s no issues with the site (i heard it added voice shit and that’s a fucking nightmare this is not a defence of them) but going after chatbots isn’t really efficient when the issue is mass commercial scale usage of ai (which is the main environmental impact) which is extremely dangerous even outside of that bc ai is literally a pattern recognition machine and doesn’t know shit it cannot have initiative which means it does stuff like creative jobs really badly (bc it can generate a pretty image but that’s the least important part of stuff like advertising, which has tons of psychology behind it the ai cannot grasp) and the second it's giving any sort of advice or help it’s downright dangerous, from ai therapists encouraging eating disorders to ai plant guides encouraging eating extremely deadly mushrooms, bc it’s not sentient let alone sapient and can’t know shit. and also the child exploitation. like kids using character.ai are like the least of our problems and not actively being malicious give them actual support to find a better option and save your anger for people actually putting others in danger deliberately bc directing it at children is not going to actually help with any of the serious problems machine learning being used like it’s the next coming of Christ cause.

[imagineanime2022]

Young One

Doppo Kunikida X Young!Daughter!Reader

Word Count: 848

Requested: Anon

Request: Hi!!

Do you think you could write a story about Kunikida with his 3-5 year old daughter?

Thank you!

Warning: Mum is dead

Kunikida had known your mother for years before she passed away. When he got the call to say that he was the named carer for the child that they had with them. It took some time to get you settled, with the social services having to make sure that he was living in a safe environment for you and had a steady income, he obviously passed all tests with flying colours.

It was hard at first looking after you when he had no intention of having a child but with the help of the others at the Detective Agency he learned everything that he needed. Junichiro had helped his parents look after Niaomi and remembered some things from when she was little, Kenji was good at keeping you occupied when Kunikida needed to finish his work, Akiko kept a check on your health and Dazai… Dazai held you upside down by your ankle one time, you laughed but Kunikida never let him near you unsupervised again.

Now at the age of 5 you were in pre school and getting on well, Kunikida had noticed that you loved drawing, he wasn’t sure if he had something to do with that considering how much time he spent with his book of ideals in his hand, scribbling down words and conjuring up the things that he could for you. Your drawing skill was far better than any 5 year old that he had seen before, he was able to tell what most things that you drew were with little difficulty.

He watched you as you sat on the floor again with a pencil in hand and an image in your head, he smiled as you little tongue stuck out of the side of your lips in concentration but it turned to surprise when your hand pressed against the paper and the small puppy that you had drawn came bounding off of the paper circling you, he stood and when your eyes caught on his the puppy disappeared in a puddle of ink “What was that?” Kunikida asked. “I have powers just like you daddy!” You cheered, lifting your hands to him and he smiled as he picked you up. “Have you made anything else with your powers?” Kunikida asked, you shook your head “really?” “Choco bars.” You answered. “Chocolate bars, you made chocolate bars?” He asked. “Looks like I will have to make sure that there was no drawing before dinner then.” “No!” You giggled as he squeezed your sides balancing you on his hip. “Looks like we will have to talk Uncle Fukuzawa about this.” Kunikida said before heading into the kitchen to get you a snack before getting your ready to head to the office.

Kunikida left you in the care of Ranpo and Akiko while he talked to Fukuzawa, he explained everything that had happened that afternoon. “This is the first time that you’ve seen her do this?” Fukuzawa asked. “It is.” Kunikida nodded. “It won’t be a problem unless she intends to use it in defence but she’s too young for that.” Fukuzawa explained “she will have to learn, though, both control and self defence.” “I know.” Kunikida nodded. “For now keep her close, we can find a tutor that can teach her everything that she needs to know, so that there’s no accidental revealing of her powers.” Fukuzawa suggested and Kunikida nodded. “We will discuss other precautions when she gets older.”

When Kunikida walked back into the main office he saw you sitting at the desk with a pen and paper as Ranpo showed you one of his favourite snacks “Ranpo what are you doing?” Kunikida asked a slight twitch in his eyebrow. “I’m just seeing the limits of her ability.” Ranpo answered “it seems that she can’t make something that is living permanently but things like food or pens she can make as permanent fixtures in our world.” “What happens to the living things?” Kunikida asked. “It seems that at the moment she can make them and they can interact with the world but only for a set amount of time, it seems at the moment that the most that she can do is 10 minutes without distraction.” Ranpo explained, Kunikida looked over at Dazai who was uncharacteristically quiet. “What’s wrong with you?” He asked. “They’ll look for her.” Dazai said after a second “Mori will find use for a power like that.” “And we will stop him at any chance that we get.” Kunikida said. “I won’t let him get anywhere near her.” “I believe you just don’t do anything stupid for her, she’ll never forgive you.” Dazai said softly as they both watched you giggle at Ranpo. “She’s lost so much already she won’t lose me too.” Kunikida said, walking over to stop Ranpo from feeding you anymore sugar. Dazai watched you all and sighed, he knew that one day that would need to protect you from Mori and the rest, there were some who would not hurt a child but there were so many more that would and he worried about them.

Request Here!!

[wangxianficrecs]

Follower Recs

~*~

Stiltonbasket doens’t miss, this one is just so good! @ladyunderthemolehill

travelers through the empty gate

by stiltonbasket (@stiltonbasket)

M, WIP, 90k, Wangxian & Nielan

Summary: Ten years after eliminating the Jiang and Nie clans, Emperor Wen Ruohan is dethroned by a young demonic cultivator from the outlands of Yiling, who surpasses him in both talent and cruelty. Where Wen Ruohan burned his enemies, Emperor Yiling raises his from the dead, and sends them through the imperial city to hunt down every last remnant of the Wen clan that tries to evade his clutches. The last thing Lan Wangji wants to do with the Yiling huangdi is marry him. Unfortunately, his family's fall from grace leaves him with no other choice.

~*~

Continuing with another stiltonbasket fic, a tgcf fusion with LWJ as a calamity? Reincarnated WWX? Pining ^ 2? Lovely! @ladyunderthemolehill

【银 劍 探 心】| Silver Jian Seeking Hearts

by stiltonbasket (@stiltonbasket)

M, WIP, 30k, Wangxian

Summary: “A ghost bridegroom?” Wei Wuxian asks, when he receives his latest night-hunting assignment from Uncle Jiang. “Have women been going missing?” If brides have been going missing, this is the first that Wei Wuxian is hearing about it; which is strange, because the systematic kidnapping of brides should have quickly been recognized as spirits’ work and reported as such to the nearest cultivation sect as soon as possible. “Three women and ten men have gone missing so far,” his uncle tells him. “Jinshan town is out of our jurisdiction, and the records say there hasn’t been a hunt in the area since before my grandfather’s time. But no one from Jinshan thought to report the disappearances until today, so the victims must be long dead by now.” - Four hundred years after the Sunshot Campaign, a reincarnated Wei Wuxian dresses himself in wedding red to defeat the ghost of a bridegroom. Deep within the forests of Jinshan Mountain, the mourning calamity Yin Jian Tan Xin waits to marry his beloved.

~*~

Scheming NHS sends himself and three others to the past to fix things. @ladyunderthemolehill

Kay's Rec

In My Defence, I Have None (For Never Leaving Well Enough Alone)

by SemiLocalCryptid

T, WIP, 73k, Wangxian

Summary: Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, and Wen Ning are unsure of how they feel about Nie Huaisang trapping them in a soul-transferring array that sends them to the past, long before the happy ending they had suffered so much for. Reliving their most traumatic memories is not what they had planned when they went out on a seemingly innocuous nighthunt. But now that they're here, apparently to stay, they have no intention of making the same mistakes twice. (Or, a Time-Travel AU where Nie Huaisang sends Wei Wuxian, Lan Wangji, Wen Ning, and himself back to their first night at the Cloud Recesses with an agenda: save everyone, especially his brother)

~*~

Scheming NHS Schemes Again but don’t worry, he has a plan! @ladyunderthemolehill

Nie Huaisang's Ten Steps to Fix The Fucked Up Reality

by cosmic_zephyr (astralcelestia)

T, WIP, 62k, Wangxian

Summary: 1. Find the time travel array in the Nie library 2. Convince (manipulate) Wei Wuxian to use demonic cultivation to activate the array. 3. Transmigrate to the body of your 15-year-old selves with Wei Wuxian and Survive his wrath. 4. Come up with yet another exaggerated, slightly concerning, plan to save Lotus Pier, Dafan Wens and your brother. 5. Use Empathy to make the Wen siblings side with you in the mess that is soon to come. 6. Kill the main Wen family and make Wen Qing the new leader of Qishan Wen so innocent people are not killed. 7. Annoy the hell out of Lanling Jin just for funsies and also a political statement because Jin Guangshan can suck it. 8. Preferably, just for your own sanity, find a way to kill Jin Guangshan and Jin Guangyao. 9. Work with Wei Wuxian and Wen Qing to solve the sabre problem of the Nie clan. 10. Live a happy life with your brother alive and the cultivation world not being a huge fucked up mess. Aka the fic where Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian (and Lan Wangji) travel back in time and save the cultivation world. Except the fact that nothing goes according to plan when disaster trio Wen Qing, Nie Huaisang and Wei Wuxian is involved.

~*~

In which the Burial Mounds change WWX to something not human and it won’t be easy to stay in control. Good angst and whump in this one @ladyunderthemolehill

Le Sang du Cygne

by Enfant_Loup

T, WIP, 23k, Wangxian & Nielan

Summary: He could recall with crystalline clarity the cry of the eagles in the blue skies above, the cliffside, and the rocks. And the beast hiding there, watching him. A snow leopard. He remembered the eyes, and the knowledge chilling his spine, that he was in front of a predator. That he was a guest on this mountain. That he could be killed at any moment if the animal wishes so. Wei Wuxian’s eyes were like this for a second, there and immediately gone again, like sparks dancing fleetingly when tossing wood in a fire. Wei Wuxian comes back from the Burial Mounds changed, his teeth a little sharper, his eyes a little redder.

~*~

In which WWX leaves the Jiang sect before the CR lectures. I rather like fics that explore different What-Ifs. @ladyunderthemolehill

My heart knows (you’re the missing piece)

by makexianxianhappytoday

T, WIP, 67k, Wangxian

Summary: At a young age, Wei Ying thought that Lotus Pier was his sanctuary. Wei Ying thought wrong. What if Wei Wuxian had chosen to leave Yunmeng Jiang even before attending the cloud recesses, how does it changes things? Rogue cultivator WWX! fic (for awhile!) * chpt 1 could be read as a one-shot * but also im making it into a short series

~*~

(Please REBLOG as a signal boost for these hard-working authors if you like – or think others might like – these stories.)

[seriesxwriting]

I wanted to make a request for Negan. I have an idea for the plot of the request. Idk if you do just x reader or you put names to the main character but the idea is- Negan will reunite with my oc or the reader in the apocalypse after not seeing each other in years the last time they saw each other was when he found out Lucille had cancer. They we best friend my oc or the reader age would be in her early to mid twenty before the apocalypse making her in her mid to late 30s.

Thank you for the request!! I love negan this was so fun to write <3

you and I against this world

W negan (twd)

Series- twd (the walking dead)

Summary- request 🤍

Warnings- swearing, use of guns.

“Daryl” negan yelled from across hill top. He turned around on his motorcycle Looking for who called his name. Negan walked over to him “are you going to that house now?” He questioned after getting closer. “What’s it to you?” Daryl darkened his eyes replying bluntly. “I wanna come” he shrugged “we’re trying to welcome new recruits not scare them away”.

“Look everyone here is giving me the stink eye” “that ain’t my problem your not coming”. Negan let out a little laugh looking at his feet. “Fine, who knows what I’ll get up to with you and Maggie gone”. Darryl stood up angrily. “Is that a threat?”.

Negan smirked looking around hill top with a shrug before Daryl’s hand shot out wrapping round his neck. “Get in the truck, I wanna keep an eye on you” he spat throwing negan backward. He stumbled but never lost his grin. “Wise choice” he winked as he began walking to maggie’s truck. “Get in the back” she growled eyeing him evilly, clearly not happy he was coming.

Negan raised his eyebrows and threw himself into the truck grunting because of the rough landing. Maggie had already began driving off following Daryl on his bike in front.

———

“Y/n A car and a bike just pulled up outside” “I heard, is the snipper ready?” I questioned standing up from my desk chair. “Yes boss, will is upstairs” “perfect, go and greet our guests sam” I smiled dangerously snatching up a knife sliding it into my belt and doing the same on the other side before eyeing the window. “Let’s show them how we greet trespassers”.

“Hello? We know there’s people living in there- we’re not here to attack”

“That’s what they all say” my eyes rolled sarcastically making Sam laugh under her breath. I followed Samantha out into the dinning room where I took a seat and watched her walk to the door. She opened it holding out her gun to Aaron, Daryl who were standing at the bottom of the steps. Not that it had many bullets, only two. That was all we had left for the hand guns. The sniper had a few more rounds but not many.

“Woah- Woah- we don’t wanna hurt you, my names Aaron and this is Daryl”. The man with the cross bow nodded at her without a smile. Arron then pointed to the truck “that’s Maggie and Lydia” he explained with a smile.

“You wanna talk?” Sam asked raising an eyebrow “you the leader?” Daryl questioned gently “your on my land, I’m doing the talking I said do you want to talk?” Sam repeated before cocking the gun. “Yes! We want to talk we have an offer” Aaron put his hands up in defence. “Good start, now if you want to talk to the boss your going to have to leave your weapons there” she ordered pointing the gun at the ground.

Daryl was first to remove his cross bow before putting it on the ground. Aaron put a knife down and Daryl put two down. Maggie threw her knives out the window. In that moment negan popped his head out the back. “You missed one” she pointed the gun at negan. “He’s irrelevant and not coming in” Daryl commented before he began climbing the stairs. “Does he have weapons?” She asked moving the gun to Daryl.

He looked across from her being on the same level now. “No” he stated before Aaron reached them. He gave a small smile suggesting he was ready to go in. Sam stood to the side letting the men in the house. She pointed to the next room where I locked eyes with them. “Take a seat” I put my hand down. “Your- in charge?” Aaron questioned raising an eyebrow. “Got something to say spit it out?” I smiled sarcastically.

“No, we’ve met lots of different people and lots of different leaders- none that looked like you, but that’s a good thing” Aaron shrugged taking a seat at the table. “Isn’t that arm classed as a weapon” I eyed the spiked ball swinging in the air. “It’s a bitch to take off” he half smiled. The other guy Daryl didn’t seem like much of a talker. He kept a straight face sitting opposite me.

Sam brought over Aaron’s bag to me laying it on the table before standing by the wall. “Most people that come in here, they don’t get back out” “we have no intention of fighting, we’re on a recruiting mission actually” Aaron nodded at his bag. “In there are some good samples and there’s even some photos of the communities we live in”. My brows knitted together “your here to get us to come back with you? So what you can imprison us- you want our stuff from here?”

“What stuff would we want? We have everything we want we’re here to give you everything you want” Daryl piped up making my attention turn to him. “Oh he talks” I half laughed siting back in my chair. “I haven’t heard such mockery since somebody said the dead are coming back to life”. My head shook and my arms folded across my chest in disbelief. I didn’t trust them and I didn’t want them in my house.

“Mockery?” Aaron questioned throwing me an innocent look. “You think we can’t survive here? That we’re too weak or don’t know what we’re doing?” “No that’s not- why we came I-.” Aaron started but he wasn’t going to cut in, not in my house. “You didn’t think you could just waltz in here and expect me to trust you after shoving you fancy apple sauce and carrots in my face did you?” I chuckled pulling the items out the bag.

“Why don’t you tell me how you found us” “we found you because your bad at covering your tracks, if we could find you that means others can too- now we have had enough experience to know that you don’t want people knocking at your doors” Daryl began looking me dead in the eyes. All of a sudden a loud gunshot went off from outside. “Was that you?” Aaron’s eyes widened he jumped up to move to the window.

“Sam” I nodded at the door for her to check it out. “I had snipers on your people the whole time, if they shot they had a reason to” I shrugged my shoulders. “Stop right there!” Sam yelled pointing her gun at whoever was trying to get in. “I just want to come and say hello because I’m sure these two would be fucking it up”.

Sam stepped out into the porch before dragging a man in with a gun pointed at his head and an arm wrapped round his neck. “Do you want another one or should I put him in his place boss” Sam hissed against the man’s face. But I hardly heard her. I was too busy studying the man’s face.

“Negan?” I blinked in disbelief

His smirked dropped as he squinted his eyes at me. “Y/n?” He whispered, he took a second before he started struggling against Samantha. “Stand down sam” I shook my head standing up. Negan didn’t move a muscle from the shock he was going through. I took about three leaps which forced me to almost do the splits. My arms wrapped around Negan’s neck as he copied me holding my head into his neck. “I can’t belive you made it” I whispered to him blinking at the wall.

“Oh I knew if anyone would you would” he chuckled under his breath. “You two know each other?” Daryl asked from the other room. “From before the fall” I nodded stepping back taking him in once again. “I tried looking for you but…” “I know- I know” I shook my head not wanting him to say the words. “I’m super glad you guys are reunited but at the end of the day we’re here for one thing” Daryl spoke again, getting straight down to the point.

I looked at the two men in my dining room and then looked at negan. “Can i trust them?” I quizzed pressing my lips together. His eyes flicked from me to them. “Yes” negan replied. I could always tell when he was lying, now wasn’t one of those times. “Do you trust them” “yes”. Now he was lying. “Why don’t you trust them negan?” Exhaling I put my hands on my hips. He smiled at me knowingly before say saying “Because I did some shit y/n and I have no clue if or when they’re going to try taking me out”.

I blinked at him and then at them. “You want us to just leave- join your group? Live there- work there fight there?” “All of the above” Aaron nodded his head vigorously. “I understand your weary, Daryl was too when I first came to him” he flashed a friendly smiled at me. I inhaled before looking at Sam. “What do you think?”, she didn’t hesitate to tell me her answer “if you trust this guy then this is a great opportunity- though the five of us have been fine for a long time we don’t know when trouble will come”

“Plus we are running out of bullets and your the only one who can fight hand to hand, we can learn new things and find safety in numbers” Sam shrugged looking at the group. I knew she was right deep down, but I just needed more time to think it through. “We will check it out, if we don’t like the look of it then we’re coming here, if we think your community is the future we will stay and help you build it”.

With that I collected the rest of my group and explained what was going to happen. Still in shock that I’d found my best friend again. Negan was hovering round the front of the door while the rest of the Group met the new people and got into the truck. I was last out, worried that I’d never return to this place again. “Have you been here since the beginning?” Negan questioned softly, realising I was struggling to leave it behind.

“No we moved around a lot but we were here the longest” I told him as I closed the door. “I can’t believe how close we were and we didn’t even know it” he chuckled loosely. “Makes you think doesn’t it, who else is out there” I sighed looking towards the trees. “From our life before?” “Exactly! Brandon, Izzy- Janine”. Negans face hardened at the last name.

“Guys- we’re making a move” Lydia called over with a sweet smile. Negan threw an arm over my shoulders as we made a way to the back of the truck that Maggie was driving. “Is she…” “she’s gone” negan said lowly helping me in. “What happened, did she get bitten or- was it the-” I shook my head sadly. “Neither, she did it herself- I lost her- I took too long, but I avenged her” he said jumping in next to me.

I could tell how much it pained him to talk about it even with the amount of time that passed. “It’s changed you huh” “all this changed everyone” negan replied correctly. “We all had to do things to survive negan, whatever you’ve done you did to stay alive and because your hurting because your mad at the world” “don’t excuse me y/n- eveyones mad at the world everyone’s hurting and trying to stay alive, why am I any different”

“Because You’ve survived, you lived” I smiled putting my head on his shoulder. “It’s good to have you back y/n, I couldn’t bare my last memories with you being sad” “I’m gutted that’s my last memory of her, but I’m sure you two had some good ones after the fall” I looked up at him all smily even though my eyes had heavy tears trying to spill over. “Yeah, we did” he smiled to himself just as we reached the gates of the community called hilltop. “This is just one of three communities” Daryl pointed as he came over to help me out the truck.

He gave negan an Evil eye before proceeding to walk me through the gates. They showed us round the community so we could see the goods they produced, the building materials they made and all the other jobs people did. I was amazed though I did a good job at hiding it. I also found myself looking for negan while I was walking around realising how isolated he was from the rest of society.

It broke my heart seeing me him standing on his own, moving around making it seem like he was doing something, anything.

“Earth to y/n!” Will yelled laughing a bit, “what do you think?” “I want to stay” I blurted out not even thinking how a leader would at this point. I wanted to stay so I could be with my best friend. That may be selfish but the community looked safe enough for the rest of my group. Though to my surprise they all grew smiles on their faces. “I want to stay too” Sam nodded looking around hill top. “It’ll be a new start and a step closer to how things were” will nodded agreeing.

The other two other nodded feeling happy with the agreement. “So your staying?” I heard from behind me. I spun around on my heels “hey- yeah I think we are” I nodded looking up at negan. I saw his eyes light up even though he tried his best to pretend he wasn’t jumping with joy inside. “You look like you need a friend anyway, always was me and you against the world”, he let out a laugh and threw an arm round my shoulder.

“It’s you and i against this new world now”.

————

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[eri-lessthan3]

Right, as my rimworld ice playthrough is nearing it's end (?), I suppose I should introduce the colony!

Behold, the Lanwell! Our humble abode, where we have survived checks the days 463 days, wow!

Let me show you around!

The brightest room we have is the Schneider's throne room, since she is soon to become a countess! And yes, we are so rich that we can afford to keep the braziers constantly lit (this wasn't always the case ;p). This room also functions as a place for people to hang out and listen to music or look at the art collection that is way too big for this small room ;P

Right next to it are the main rooms, from which it all started. The kitchen, which used to be our only room at some point, with a nutrient paste dispenser, fueled entirely by uhhhhh... friendly donors! ^^

We also still have our wind turbines as a secondary power source, though we are mostly reliant on chemfuel generators now! Some of which we stole from ancient vaults, and these guys are very efficient :3

We also have our little storage room right next to it. It is mainly a freezer, buuuut it also stores a bunch of random junk, since this is usually how I end up playing rimworld anyway >.<

Next to the kitchen is the heart of our colony, the hydroponics! This is the only reason why we can live and prosper, as it provides us with food, clothes, medicine, beer, wood, money, and even chemfuel from rice, if we run out of it! Thought this room has seen some destruction before, we obviously need it to always function :3

Our colony grew right from that luscious heart. We have our workshop area, our personal bedrooms (don't mind Dorgo, he is just jealous and he really wants some jade sculptures in his room -.-). Although unfortunately, those two rooms on the left are empty. Rest in Peace, Vulcavein. We also have our research room and a hospital, which is often the target of enemy drops, for some reason >.<

To the right of those rooms, we have completely incorporated this space between our base and the mountains. We have a rec room, which used to be a school, we have our temple to Ithalux, with his sigil painted on the floor. As we are also transhumanist, we have neural superchargers and biosculpter pods, and speaking of that

Say hello to Cambiar! He is currently undergoing age reversal procedures, so he probably can't hear you, actually. Anyways

We have a rather empty, yet surprisingly comfortable prisoners barracks, even though if we ever do get prisoners, they usually don't stay here for long...

And yeah, we also have our small gene-tailoring room from that one time I bothered to go out onto the map for a secret vault, and also bothered to bring this stuff back, but we never used it, and we can't regularly loot vaults either, as it can get to -60 degrees with no problem. Our feeble human bodies must stay inside of the base for most of the time. Speaking of that:

This is the reason we have our mech friends! They help us run our base, defend it, and are our only real way to go outside during the winter without freezing to death. Although we don't really do that anymore, as there is no reason to leave our perfect colony.

Speaking of that, meet Manuel, our first and only android! He is also part of our defences, but he is quite helpful around the base, and he can venture into cold without risking his life that much. In fact, we had to send him on a mission to destroy a mech cluster at some point, and together with our mechs (which uhhh, were hard to control that remotely) he dealt with that easily, definitely nothing went wrong. And he doesn't have to eat, which means that he can caravan forever, I think.

I suppose I could also present these few bedrooms, with Schneider's royal one standing out the most. She has to have one, as we are planning to leave this hostile world and join our new friends in the Broken Imperium. Now that I say it, that name doesn't bring much hope, but it should be fiiiine.

For that, however, we will need to protect a royal for quite some time, and thus we have prepared quite the room for them! You can also see our devilstrand growing zone, as we try to extract the most out of this rocky soil. And uhh, don't look at the top, there is nothing to worry about there ^^'

For you see, we have our small factory over here! Thanks to the VFE - Mechanoids, we can produce steel and plasteel out of basically nothing! This used to produce components instead, hence why the weird layout, but our fabricors can do that on their own. We also have a medicine production facility, though it is currently off. And we have our magic neutroamine generator! Don't question how it works, don't look into that room! Better focus on our neat android workshop, which really didn't need so much random junk there, but I am just figuring stuff out ;P. And yeah, this is why we need the neutroamine!

Yeah, there is nothing more to see of this colony! Just a bunch of monuments and steam power plants, and that is all ;P There is no need to open those doors, they just lead to empty monuments we had to construct for quests and such :3

And that was the tour ^^

Now, the reason I did this is that we will try to leave this planet once the "summer" starts here, and I will try to not save scum too much. I really enjoyed this colony, but I feel like it is time to move on. I have so many other rimworld ideas either way. So yeah, hopefully see you in the stars!

[dailyanarchistposts]

J.6.1 What are the main obstacles to raising free children?

The biggest obstacle is the training and character of most parents, physicians, and educators. Individuals within a hierarchical society create psychological walls/defences around themselves and these will obviously have an effect both on the mental and physical state of the individual and so their capacity for living a free life and experiencing pleasure. Such parents then try (often unconsciously) to stifle the life-energy in children. There are, for example, the child’s natural vocal expressions (shouting, screaming, bellowing, crying, etc.) and natural body motility. As Reich noted:

“Small children go through a phase of development characterised by vigorous activity of the voice musculature. The joy the infant derives from loud noises (crying, shrieking, and forming a variety of sounds) is regarded by many parents as pathological aggressiveness. The children are accordingly admonished not to scream, to be ‘still,’ etc. The impulses of the voice apparatus are inhibited, its musculature becomes chronically contracted, and the child becomes quiet, ‘well-brought-up,’ and withdrawn. The effect of such mistreatment is soon manifested in eating disturbances, general apathy, pallor of the face, etc. Speech disturbances and retardation of speech development are presumably caused in this manner. In the adult we see the effects of such mistreatment in the form of spasms of the throat. The automatic constrictions of the glottis and the deep throat musculature, with subsequent inhibition of the aggressive impulses of the head and neck, seems to be particularly characteristic.” [Children of the Future, p. 128]

“Clinical experience has taught us,” Reich concluded, “that small children must be allowed to ‘shout themselves out’ when the shouting is inspired by pleasure. This might be disagreeable to some parents, but questions of education must be decided exclusively in the interests of the child, not in those of the adults.” [Op. Cit., p. 128]

Besides deadening life energy in the body, such stifling also inhibits the anxiety generated by the presence of anti-social, cruel, and perverse impulses within the psyche — for example, destructiveness, sadism, greed, power hunger, brutality, etc. (impulses referred to by Reich as “secondary” drives). In other words, this reduces our ability to empathise with others and so the internal ethical guidelines we all develop are blunted, making us more likely tp express such secondary, anti-social, drives. So, ironically, these secondary drives result from the suppression of the primary drives and the sensations of pleasure associated with them. These secondary drives develop because the only emotional expressions that can get through a person’s defences are distorted, harsh, and/or mechanical. In other words, compulsive morality (i.e. acting according to externally imposed rules) becomes necessary to control the secondary drives which compulsion itself creates. By such processes, authoritarian child-rearing becomes self-justifying:

“Psychoanalysts have failed to distinguish between primary natural and secondary perverse, cruel drives, and they are continuously killing nature in the new-born while they try to extinguish the ‘brutish little animal.’ They are completely ignorant of the fact that it is exactly this killing of the natural principle which creates the secondary perverse and cruel nature, human nature so called, and that these artificial cultural creations in turn make compulsive moralism and brutal laws necessary.” [Reich, Op. Cit., p. 17–18]

Moralism, however, can never get at the root of the problem of secondary drives, but in fact only increases the pressure of crime and guilt. The real solution is to let children develop what Reich calls natural self-regulation. This can be done only by not subjecting them to punishment, coercion, threats, moralistic lectures and admonitions, withdrawal of love, etc. in an attempt to inhibit their spontaneous expression of natural life-impulses. The systematic development of the emphatic tendencies of the young infant is the best way to “socialise” and restrict activities that are harmful to the others. As A.S. Neill pointed out “self-regulation implies a belief in the goodness of human nature; a belief that there is not, and never was, original sin.” [Summerhill, p. 103]

According to Neill, children who are given freedom from birth and not forced to conform to parental expectations spontaneously learn how to keep themselves clean and develop social qualities like courtesy, common sense, an interest in learning, respect for the rights of others, and so forth. However, once the child has been armoured through authoritarian methods intended to force it to develop such qualities, it becomes out of touch with its living core and therefore no longer able to develop self-regulation. In this stage it becomes harder and harder for the pro-social emotions to shape the developing mode of life of the new member of society. At that point, when the secondary drives develop, parental authoritarianism becomes a necessity.

This oppression produces an inability to tolerate freedom. The vast majority of people develop this automatically from the way they are raised and is what makes the whole subject of bringing up children of crucial importance to anarchists. Reich concluded that if parents do not suppress nature in the first place, then no anti-social drives will be created and no authoritarianism will be required to suppress them: ”What you so desperately and vainly try to achieve by way of compulsion and admonition is there in the new-born infant ready to live and function. Let it grow as nature requires, and change our institutions accordingly.” [Op. Cit., p. 47] So in order to raise psychologically healthy children, parents need to acquire self-knowledge, particularly of how internal conflicts develop in family relationships, and to free themselves as much as possible from neurotic forms of behaviour. The difficulty of parents acquiring such self-knowledge and sufficiently de-conditioning themselves is obviously another obstacle to raising self-regulated children.

However, the greatest obstacle is the fact that twisting mechanisms set in so very early in life, i.e. soon after birth. Hence it is important for parents to obtain a thorough knowledge of what rigid suppressions are and how they function, so that from the beginning they can prevent (or at least decrease) them from forming in their children. Finally, Reich cautioned that it is crucial to avoid any mixing of concepts: “One cannot mix a bit of self-regulation with a bit of moral demand. Either we trust nature as basically decent and self-regulatory or we do not, and then there is only one way, that of training by compulsion. It is essential to grasp the fact that the two ways of upbringing do not go together.” [Op. Cit., p. 46]

[bettercallstan]

In Defence of Watching and Dreaming

Quotes can be found here at the specified timestamps> https://youtu.be/mn4WmyIdsrE

People often accuse me of hating Watching and Dreaming, but today I’m going to dispel that myth by providing a genuine defence of the episode, focusing only on its positives. Watching and Dreaming is the final episode of The Owl House and is focused on concluding the story in a satisfying way. It provides a well constructed bookend to Luz’s development by showing how she’s grown via contrast to previous episodes. It also does a good job at showing that not everyone can be redeemed, actively making fun of the idea and having Belos die brutally in an excellently pathetic death scene. It also continues the show’s commentary on the chosen one archetype, having Luz receive godlike powers not because she was chosen, but because of the strength of her character. This is achieved through the introduction of Papa Titan, a well executed take on a trope that so often goes awry. The Collector is also redeemed in an incredibly believable way, and the timeskip at the end provides a deservedly happy ending whilst also showing the audience how their favourite characters have grown. As well as this the soundtrack is excellent and the animation is phenomenal – especially in the fight scenes, which are just as well shot and choreographed as the rest of the show’s action. Overall, Watching and Dreaming is a thrilling conclusion to an excellent show.

Okay. Everyone who likes Watching and Dreaming, you can leave now. The essay is over for you, unless you’re curious, that is. Because all of that is how I would attempt to defend Watching and Dreaming. Every aspect I just praised are things I genuinely believe to be strengths of the episode. With some information omitted. Okay, a lot of information omitted. The purpose of this was to establish an understanding, to make it abundantly clear that there are many aspects of the episode that are well constructed. The problem is that this defence heavily relies on the reader not thinking too hard because if they do they’ll realise how much information I omitted and how many things I mentioned were technical aspects. This is essay is The Flaws of Watching and Dreaming. I will only be covering issues within the episode itself and not any issues that stem from previous episodes, because if I were to cover all the problems of Season 3 this essay would be many times longer. The purpose of this essay is not to illustrate why I feel the way I do about the episode, but to provide an argument that challenges the general consensus. The critiques I make are not simply things I didn’t like but things I hope to prove are flaws in the writing with arguments and citations.

I suppose it makes sense to start at the beginning. Watching and Dreaming opens with what I’m going to call the Dream Sequence. This segment represents many problems that are prevalent throughout the episode, but conceptually it’s pretty interesting: our main trio have been put into a shared dream by the Collector that forces them to relive their greatest fears. Luz’s dream involves her interactions with a mind controlled Hexsquad who are being puppeteered to jab at her deepest fears. Character wise this provides nothing for the Hexsquad since they’re being mind controlled; they don’t mean any of the things they’re saying. Eda and King’s segments serve to reiterate their fears, but this is ultimately pointless as both of them have already had their arcs wrapped up and their fears aren’t relevant to the rest of the episode. The only character aspect that this sequence is relevant to is reminding the audience of Luz’s guilt complex, but the problem with this is that it’s unnecessary; it has been a main focus of the last quarter of the show. It doesn’t even do anything to advance this arc either, simply to remind the audience that it’s there.

Plot wise the only thing this scene serves is the conversation between Belos and the Collector, which could be easily retooled to have the same outcome without this sequence. It’s pointless at worst and extremely wasteful at best. There’s also the logistics of it; Luz can only escape the dream because Amity knows that the light glyph can cancel the Collector’s magic. The audience knows this – it was established in the previous episode – but Amity doesn’t, or more accurately she shouldn’t. The entire plot hinges on Amity having access to a piece of information she simply couldn’t know, and this is a common problem that plagues the episode. It’s also worth noting that this sequence takes up seven minutes of an episode that is already strapped for time. The Dream Sequence adds nothing to the episode and does nothing but waste time, so why does it exist? Well, if you watch the trailer for the episode it’s almost entirely composed of clips from this sequence; it’s trailer bait. However I think it’s most likely that it was an idea the writers had that they couldn’t bear to fully cut, which is a running problem in Season 3.

The final battle is an important aspect of any finale, so how does Watching and Dreaming’s hold up? Like many other aspects of the episode it is flawed. A good example of this is how it starts; Luz breaks into the throne room and immediately runs to Belos’ body. The first problem here is that when Belos first possessed the heart his body got completely covered in a protective coating [0:00] which has since vanished with no explanation. This is significant because Luz would have taken longer to defeat Belos if she had to first break through the coating, which might have given him enough time to stop her. The second problem is the pacing, the battle starts incredibly suddenly with very little buildup. There’s only about thirty seconds between Raine making a joke about Luz’s Titan form and Belos being nearly defeated. This would be a less sudden tonal shift if there was a fight scene in the throne room where Luz had to fight her way to the heart rather than getting to it immediately. It’s very rushed as a climax because it lacks buildup. The counter to this would be to say that the fight scene at the Draining Spell pedestal was the buildup to the final battle, but there is over two minutes between those scenes, including a quiet reunion between lovers which is very clearly a break in the action. The tone shifts very drastically in very little time, going from bombastic action to a warm reunion to climactic and suspenseful all with very little transition time.

The third problem is Belos, namely: what was he hoping to achieve? It seems reasonable to assume that due to how long the Titan has been dead for he’s not able to make it stand up and roll over, so it makes sense that he’d try and raise the arm to slam it down on the Titan’s body. On paper this follows, but in practice less so. If he wanted to slam the arm down then why did he reach all the way up into space? He didn’t need to reach nearly that high to slam it down, so it seems like he’s just being stupid to give the protagonists more time to defeat him. The final problem is also related Belos. When he first possesses the heart it is shown that he only needs a tiny pocket of good to possess it [0:19]. This creates a massive problem for his defeat as there is clearly goo left on the heart after he’s pulled off of it [0:37]. This begs the question: why did yanking him off the heart work? A counter to this is that possessing the Titan took all of Belos’ power, but this still doesn’t justify it. Before Belos possessed the Titan he was unable to keep his goo form but after doing it he was able to recreate his human form, so there’s no reason to believe his power has been diminished. If this is the explanation however, this should be telegraphed to the audience in some way. There’s a difference between the show implying something and the audience writing the story for the show by extrapolating an explanation that isn’t even there.

The episode’s B plot starts with a wonderful piece of contrivance; the Hexsquad puppets were abandoned on a floor that’s dusty enough to draw a glyph on, that’s pretty lucky for them I guess. Amity is also able to move to draw the glyph despite it being previously stated that puppets can’t move of their own volition: ‘You’re not supposed to move on your own, how did you break your spell’ [1:28]. An argument against this could be that Amity was able to move because she got she got freed from the mind control in the dream, but unfortunately her eyes are shown to turn back to their mind controlled appearance once she’s grabbed by the magic tendrils [1:34], so this defence doesn’t hold. The plotline continues by explaining that the witches can’t use their magic due to exhaustion. As much as this seems like an idea that should’ve been introduced earlier it does make sense; the problem comes from the fact that it’s a pointless plot beat. Nothing changes if the witches were able to use their magic to help them free the puppets so why waste screentime introducing a useless element?

Moving on, the end of the plotline is similarly half-baked. The Hexsquad see the Collector helping to keep the Archives together and assume he’s there to help them, which is an attempt to justify them forgiving him later. The problem here is that there is no reason for the Hexsquad to believe that the Collector is helping because he wants to save people; from their perspective it would seem more likely that he doesn’t want his toys to get destroyed. The problem here is similar to Amity somehow knowing to use the light glyph in the dream; we as the audience know that the Collector is only trying to help, but the Hexsquad don’t. They haven’t seen any of his development, they don’t know that he didn’t understand what it means to be mortal. All they know about him is that he caused them to be locked away from their families for months, took over their home, and uses people they care about as toys. Sure they know he’s a child, but that doesn’t justify them just forgiving him immediately. This is fundamentally out of character for all of them. Another issue with this plotline is that it adds very little to the episode. The Hexsquad free a lot of puppets but the Collector frees all of them at the end anyway. No character development is achieved either and it seems like it only exists because the writers knew people would be angry if the Hexsquad didn’t get any focus, so they just threw them in there despite them not really having anything to do. What makes this worse is that the storyboards tell us that Odalia was originally going to be a part of this plotline, which likely would’ve justified its existence if she was utilised to develop the characters in a meaningful way.

This was likely cut for time despite the fact that it has the potential for satisfying character moments, but the Dream Sequence was left in the episode despite having even less relevance. On the note of the Hexsquad it’s a massive issue that Hunter – who was raised and abused by Belos his entire life – doesn’t get a single line acknowledging his death. In fact he doesn’t get a single line acknowledging Belos at all, which is strange because Belos is a massive part of his character so having him not comment on his death is incredibly jarring. The entire plotline is very much a less or more situation. They could’ve done more by developing the plotline further to justify its inclusion, but equally they could’ve cut it entirely and whilst people would’ve been justifiably angry, being able to more effectively utilise that screentime would be an improvement over the shoddy middle ground we received.

A distinct problem with Watching and Dreaming is how the Collector is handled as he acts very inconsistently with how he did in For the Future. In that episode he was led to believe that King was plotting to kill him:

- ‘The Collector needs to be stopped for good, and I think I know a more permanent solution.’ [1:49]

- ‘Obviously to help King put an end to you and your little games.’ [2:01]

- ‘Luz has come to help King get rid of you for good.’ [2:08]

The line ‘I think I wanna play a new game’ [2:15] combined with his tired, resentful expression tell the audience that Belos’ lies have worked; he’s angry with King and Luz, tired of being betrayed by people he called his friends. The line clearly states that he is done being friendly, but this is walked back on at the start of Watching and Dreaming. When Belos suggests killing the witches, the Collector says ‘I want to be their friends’ [2:23]. This is in absolute opposition to his attitude at the end of the previous episode and it should be plainly obvious why. On top of that, the Collector believing that King was planning to kill him is only referenced one time: ‘King lied, Belos lied, even they lied’ [2:30]. This misunderstanding is never brought up again even after the Collector realises it was Belos all along, despite it being the event that caused him to create the dream world in the first place. Speaking of which, let’s talk about that. Putting the characters into the dream makes sense for the For the Future version of his character; he’s angry and vengeful, it tracks that he would make them relive their worst fears. But because Watching and Dreaming retcons his character, this action makes no sense. Why would he do this if he wanted to befriend them? Even from the point of view of a child that doesn’t make sense. He even says ‘King is gonna hate me for this’ [2:19] despite previously thinking King already hated him. Watching and Dreaming misunderstands the Collector’s development and regresses him back to an earlier point in his arc, causing many of his actions to make no sense.

Another issue in the episode is the Collector’s Warp Star, the flying star that Belos steals to get to the castle. It first appeared in For the Future and is also used by the Collector in the finale to fly to the Archives. He is shown to be able to summon [2:34] and de-summon [2:43] it at will but despite this keeps a spare one in his bedside table. You do have to wonder why he kept a spare if he’s able to summon it on command but at the end of the day he is a child so maybe there’s a little wiggle room when it comes to carelessness. However, the star still presents significant issues in the finale. The question that seems most prescient is how Belos knew the star would be in the bedside cabinet. I think it’s reasonable to assume he looked through the drawers whilst the Collector was setting up the dream but given how significant this is to the episode’s plot it probably should’ve had more of a setup. The more important question is how Belos even knew what the Warp Star did since he wasn’t present at any of the times it was used. It’s not an impossibility that he saw the Collector use the star offscreen but this is so significant to the plot – it’s vital to allow Belos to possess the Titan – that it deserves an explicit setup rather than relying on the audience’s headcanon.

Speaking of Belos, I think it’s time to acknowledge the elephant in the room: no matter how much people say it, he’s not just an evil bad guy who is evil for evil’s sake. He’s an irredeemable monster for sure and fully deserved to die horribly, but one thing he is not is simple. Belos is a pretty complex character, and I cannot stress this enough, complexity does not equal sympathy. The show had been building up his complex characterisation since Hunting Palismen, but it really kicks into gear in Hollow Mind. Starting there, we get the general gist of who Belos truly is; he’s a bigoted witch Hunter who wants to commit genocide because he’s so intrenched in his bigotry that he’s convinced himself that he’s saving humanity. We also get glimpses into his past where he murdered his brother Caleb for betraying the ideals they’d been raised with to be with a witch. A lot of the stuff we learn about Belos in Hollow Mind is quite vague but it works well as a setup. King’s Tide gives a deeper look into his head. He killed Caleb for betraying the ideals they both stood for, and in Belos’ mind he was putting him out of his misery because he believed that the witches had warped Caleb’s sense of reality. This is obviously absurd to any sane person, but the important thing is that this is how Belos thinks of things – even if it is illogical, it’s consistent. We can see this in how he clearly sees Caleb in Luz, stating that he wants to help her – in his own messed up way – and only trying to kill her when he believes she’s been fully corrupted by witches, just like his brother. We can see this when he states ‘I do pity you. These witches have warped your sense of reality, so perhaps it’s best if I put you out of your misery’ [0:48]. All of this happens in just one scene and it is an incredible exploration of his character and how he sees things.

Moving into Season 3, Thanks to Them doesn’t have much for Belos outside of killing Flapjack, who he sees as a symbol of Caleb’s betrayal. Now, I know For the Future is a bit of a wet fart of an episode but the scene between Belos and his hallucinations is actually pretty good. Here we see his cognitive dissonance on full display; he believes killing Caleb was because in his own words ‘I tried to save your soul, it’s your fault this all happened’ [0:57] – this can reasonably be extrapolated to apply to Luz in King’s Tide too. I think it’s safe to say that this should have been the point where the show went in depth on Belos’ backstory, but I don’t think it’s fair to blame Watching and Dreaming for another episode’s mistakes. What I can blame it for is not even alluding to his relationship with Caleb and stripping many of his complexities away. A good example would be that when he kills Luz. There’s no moment where he justifies it or even acknowledges this despite the fact that we know his twisted mind would see killing her as merciful. And say what you want about Belos, but one of his core traits is that he does not change, ever. So what applies in King’s Tide would still apply in the finale. Given that Caleb and Luz were both people he killed to ‘save their souls’ this would have been the prime time to reference his relationship with Caleb. Another example would be during the final battle, he doesn’t have anything interesting to say to Luz aside from the most generic villain dialogue ever. You’d think he’d still be shocked that she’s somehow alive, or that he would try and play mind games with her again, but no. Belos’ past is completely forgotten until the very last scene, his character is absent, replaced by a hollow shell that acts like him on the surface but is missing all the depth and complexity he once had. They decided it was best to turn him into a kaiju instead of utilising his character. Admittedly his death is pretty good – even if I’d have preferred he went out on a more serious note – but it’s built on poor foundations. One good scene can’t redeem an entire episode of wasted potential.

Even his relationship with Luz and how they both saw the Boiling Isles as a fantasy is just brushed off by saying ‘You assume Belos’ goal comes from a genuine place. That man doesn’t care about anything but his need to be the hero in his own delusion’ [1:08], and whilst is true to an extent it’s an idea that warrants more explanation than just a passing acknowledgment. However, note that I said it’s true to an extent. Take the line ‘I just need to live long enough to see this through’ [1:17] in Elsewhere and Elsewhen. This establishes that Belos believed in his goal enough to die for it, implying that becoming the Witch Hunter General and being recognised for ‘saving humanity’ was just an aspirational bonus. This is supported by the fact that he only starts outwardly obsessing about his need to be a hero in King’s Tide, after the Draining Spell has already started and he’s basically already won. Papa Titan’s comment cited earlier ignores this piece of characterisation in favour of supporting the new, simplified Belos. The counter to this would be that Papa Titan was only referring to Belos’ belief that he was doing things for the good of humanity when he said that his beliefs aren’t genuine. This would be true; Belos has simply convinced himself that he’s saving humanity, it’s part of his hero complex. However, this is a singular belief and Papa Titan specifically says beliefs, plural. Maybe it was just a small grammar mistake but given that this character is essentially god and we are supposed to take the things he says to be true, it has wide reaching implications on Belos’ character. Even forgetting all that, to say that Belos only cares about his need to be a hero is just wrong. He is a man fully committed to horrific ideals first and an egotist second. Both are important aspects of his character but neither is the sole motivator for him to do what he did. Watching and Dreaming misunderstands this and makes his ego his sole motive.

With all this established, I’m going to make what will probably be the most controversial statement in this essay: Belos is character assassinated in Watching and Dreaming. This moustache twirling kaiju man is not Belos, he’s a caricature; the character the fanbase thinks he is. The writers did quite a good job with Belos throughout the show, crafting an incredibly complex and compelling yet completely irredeemable antagonist who perfectly juxtaposed the show’s main themes. It’s a real shame they fumbled the bag so hard at the last hurdle as it really harms his character.

In conclusion, Watching and Dreaming has significant flaws. Characters consistently know information they shouldn’t, both major antagonists act incredibly out of character, the previous episode’s cliffhanger is walked back on, a huge amount of time is wasted, the plot is resolved in a nonsensical fashion and the final battle has many issues. As I stated at the beginning, the episode also has many positive aspects.

People often accuse me of hating Watching and Dreaming. I think it’s more accurate to say that I mourn Watching and Dreaming.

[thedawningofthehour]

Alright so I remember watching a video demonstration on how if you were being picked up/restrained by like a kidnapper or something, thrashing around actually tends to make it easier for them. What you're supposed to do apparently is just fucking ragdoll and let them carry your full weight, and it makes it a lot easier for you to slip out of their grip. Would Draxum/Has Draxam taught Gale any self defence abilities in that area? Because I was losing my shit over the thought of gale just rag dolling in someone's grip and i had to draw it.

Galois's training definitely focuses on self-defense and breaking out of holds, so yes I imagine Draxum would teach him that! It seems very familiar now that you've said it- in high school my all-girls gym class had to sit through a demonstration from some lady cops on self-defense, and I have some vague memory of them calling up my 4'11, ninety pound friend so they could easily pick her up and demonstrate her doing things like ragdoll in their arms and wiggling away. (ironically said friend was a straight-up freak and is definitely into BDSM and CNC now, because during this she kept mentioning how hot it would be to be raped) They also passed out lemons and had us press our thumbs into them to simulate how we'd gouge a guy's eyes out if needed.

Unfortunately for Gale, I feel like this would backfire if he used it on Raph, because Raph can benchpress all his brothers together and is very used to carrying sleepy brothers.

Raph: "D'aw, it's like I'm carrying you to bed after you fell asleep in your lab again! Also wtf, why are you so light?!"

Gale: "fuck."

I'm trying to think, if that doesn't work I believe the best course of action would be to throw his head back and try to headbutt his attacker. Or try to hit them in the groin, which would also not go over well with Raph since...you know, his dick's inside. Good thing he has knives, right?

The main problem Galois has is that being picked up or having anything press up against his throat sends him straight into a panic attack, as he subconsciously remembers Draxum's kidnapping of him and everything that happened after that. So he's usually too busy flipping his shit to remember all that. He's working on it.

[shine-reblogs]

Submachine Legacy: additional commentary (Monoliths, Shattered Quadrant, and other details)

Apparently I am NOT done talking about this game, lol. To see me talking about the main levels + optional ruins, check my previous post. Beware of spoilers.

General comments

I must comment on the map/menu/however this is called because I noticed (rather late) on my going back and forth the details literally surrounding each level. Namely, how level 3 and 'break the loop' are in the middle a spiral, I assume to symbolize the loopy nature of the locations. Level 6 is in the middle of an octagon, kind of like a shield, which goes well with it being the defence systems of the Submachine. Level 7 lays in the middle of many more concentrical circles, which I'm guessing has to do something about it being the Core of the Submachine. And level 8 rests against seven parallel lines, which goes nicely with you jumping through the seven main layers in that level.

I may be, once again, reading too much into details, but I think it makes enough sense and I like it. Kind of wondering now if level 9 shouldn't have something special about it too as the Knot.

Anyway.

Monoliths/Secrets

So, I was right in the end that we'll have to come back to this with the navigator, but wrong in the we actually can't take the navigator with us and must jump back and forth between levels (so much going back and forth). Anyway, this gives us new tidbits of Submachine lore (which is nice).

This goes on in the Lighthouse. Love how the fact that different versions of the game exist is being incorporated to the lore.

Finally figured how this one worked out. Turns out in the end the Loop did have a layer coordinate thingy (which I started suspecting when I didn't find one at level 7 either) it just was hidden as a secret. Kind of a pity, since I liked the idea of loops being something that maybe existed outside/beyond layers maybe. It's not like I had a lot of time to think about this/develop it into a proper theory, so it's not like I was super attached to it either, so it's fine.

Lots of portals but no notes in level 4 (that I remember, I binge-played the unlocking Monoliths and it's kinda blurry what is from what level. Should have named the screenshots, lol). BUT! We finally can unlock that door from Sub4, which was satisfying.

Level 5 is as in 4, meaning no notes found. But again, I like how you could finally see what was behind that closed door though!

Lots of goodies in level 6! It was nice to get extra content while also keeping the 'secret' notes we had in the originals. Go hunting lore.

I love this. I love the note talking about the significance of 32 when it's something we've all collectively lost our minds about. I love this xD

Here we got the same notes we did in the originals, but as a matter of fact I did not remember the one screenshot here and WHAT?! If I weren't so sleepy right now I'd be talking about it probably (as it is I am surprised I can write anything with a semblance of coherence right now, may my insomnia fuck off and leave me alone).

I'm gonna be very honest, I needed the help of the very kind people making guides on Steam for this because I had all the secrets but couldn't figure out how to access the secret room (previously I got the opposite problem, could access the portals but didn't have the secrets to power them). The notes are the same that we had in the originals.

And last but not least level 10, were I thought there was only one secret area but there were two! I thought it wa really cool that you use the pearls and stone cubes for this.

The notes here seem to be more or less the same as the originals, but thw wording has been changed some and we're also being teased about the Engine which has me vibrating.

All in all, nice little extras! Shattered Quadrant will come in the reblogs when I get to play it (yes I know I'm slow playing. Do not judge me)