#our alternative to a nativity scene

[smallerplaces]

It's the most wonderful time of the Playmobil Christkindlesmarkt

When Dad said "oh, we have to keep and use the Playmobil Christmas figures," he probably believed the box contained a Santa's house, a sleigh, and maybe a couple other things.

He was so, so wrong. Last year's diorama required three shelves in the dining room. This year, I found the 1980s medieval houses and decided to go for the gusto with an entire Christmas fair, which takes four shelves.

Santa's house is alone on the upper top shelf because he lives at the North Pole.

Digging through Playmobil boxes as I was sorting to sell or give away excess found me an extra rocker, so now both Clauses can sit by the fire. It also yielded a red desk, so the Clauses have somewhere to work on the naughty-nice list. Meanwhile, in the kitchen, Mrs. Claus is stress-baking.

On the main level, at far left, is the ski and sledding slope and enchanted forest. Get up too much momentum on your sled, and you may end up stolen by the fae!

The elves clearly have the day off. Judging from how the guy in the green vest and red tuke is being treated by his elf, he's Tamlin.

New this year are non-white characters! Playmobil is a German brand, so they were slow-ish to expand characters into other skin tones, plus my parents' collection went back to the 1980s, so it reflects eras that were stingy with non-white rep. We had Native Americans in my original collection, but I sold that 20 years ago (if I hadn't, there'd probably be a buffalo menacing the reindeer).

During the big clean-out, I discovered Black adults and kids. I moved winter gear to every single one of them (except one, who you'll meet later), so that the Christmas Market is less out of line with modern Germany.

But what is Rufus, the Black parent in the white sweater and red cap, looking at so warily?

It's Russian Orthodox Santa! He's being pulled by a magical small horse, which the foxes in the background have chosen not to pursue.

Beyond St. Nicholas, something pagan appears to be afoot. I'm honestly not sure what, or even why the dead tree with the animals is kept with Christmas items.

The center section of shelves is one side of the town green, where a brass band of Santas is performing.

Santa has sprung for rent on a garage and workshop. Mrs. Claus is relieved to have this part of the home business out of the home. (That's his sports sleigh parked in the garage, while the big family sleigh is upstairs by the house. Santa had a bit of a midlife crisis a few years back.)

The Santa Band plays swing.

The right-hand Tudor house is a vet's office, convenient for when Santa's reindeer get a cough.

The final section of shelf is the rest of the town square and Christmas market.

Some of the vendors and shoppers are a little weird.

The porta-potty is the entire reason why the town square scene expanded this year. I found it in a box and had to use it.

The pizza restaurant equipment was also a must-use. Poor Santa has nobody to take his order! Meanwhile, small angels are panhandling outside.

The toy shop is delightful for those who don't want to wait for Santa.

Meanwhile, upstairs in the pizzeria's eating area, an indie band does sound check. (Or at least we hope it's sound check, since no one is upstairs to listen.)

[safety-pin-punk]

Punk History Resources: Vol 2

This is a compilation of resources found and recommended by various alternative bloggers, each of whom are credited for their contributions. This started because I was getting SO MANY asks about resources such as videos, books, and websites to use to learn about punk history. Admittedly, my own list wasn't that long, so I thought it was best to reach out to some others and share their knowledge with everyone. Now, I'm hoping to make this an annual occurrence, where we all share our knowledge with each other. So thank you again to everyone who helped out with this!!

Link to Volume 1

@whatamibutabutteredcroissant @unfriendlybat @ghost--in-a-machine @mushroomjar

YOUTUBE:

Part 1 of The Decline of Western Civilization (It recieved mixed reception from people in the scene) (whatamibutabutteredcroissant)

Part 3 of The Decline of Western Civilization (Focuses on the gutter-punks of 90s LA) (whatamibutabutteredcroissant)

BOOKS:

Some Wear Leather Some Wear Lace by Andi Harriman and Marloes Bontje (It's mostly goth/horror rock/post punk/deathrock but I feel like it's adjacent enough for it to merit a read) (unfriendlybat)

Spray Paint the Walls: The Story of Black Flag by Stevie Chick (whatamibutabutteredcroissant)

Kids of the Black Hole: Punk Rock in Postsuburban California by Dewar Macleod (whatamibutabutteredcroissant)

We Got the Neutron Bomb: The Untold Story of L.A. Punk by Marc Spitz and Brendan Mullen (whatamibutabutteredcroissant)

Left of The Dial: Conversations with Punk Icons by David Ensminger (whatamibutabutteredcroissant)

The Art of Darkness: The History of Goth by John Robb (A comprehensive history of Goth) (whatamibutabutteredcroissant)

Punk Zines by Eddie Piller and Steve Rowland (whatamibutabutteredcroissant)

The High Desert by James Spooner ( A graphic novel memoir of how the authro came into the scene) (ghost--in-a-machine)

Let Fury Have The Hour by Antonio D'Ambrosio (About the band The Clash) (anonymous submission)

MOVIES / DOCUMENTARIES:

Masque (A 10 minute doc about the Masque club in LA) (whatamibutabutteredcroissant)

ARTICLES:

History of Anarcho-Punk and Peace Punk (mushroomjar)

Late 80s and Early 90s Puerto Rico Hardcore Punk (mushroomjar)

The Jewish History of Punk (mushroomjar)

Japan's Impact on Punk Culture (mushroomjar)

The Forgotten Story of Pure Hell, America's First Black Punk Band (mushroomjar)

The Black Punk Pioneers Who Made Music History (mushroomjar)

Why Poly Styrene is Punk's Great Lost Icon (mushroomjar)

Alternative to Alternatives: The Black Grrrls Riot Ignored (mushroomjar)

Abandoning The Ear? Punk and Deaf Convergences Part II (mushroomjar)

Race, Anarchy, and Punk Rock: The Impact of Cultural Boundaries Within The Anarchist Movement (mushroomjar)

Street Medic Handbook (safety-pin-punk)

ZINES:

Sticking To It (safety-pin-punk)

So You Say You Want An Insurrection (safety-pin-punk)

All Power To The People (safety-pin-punk)

How to Survive a Felony Trial: Keeping Your Head up through the Worst of It (safety-pin-punk)

Collectives: Anarchy Against The Mass (safety-pin-punk)

Social War on Stolen Native Land: Anarchist Contributions (safety-pin-punk)

A Civilian's Guide to Direct Action (safety-pin-punk)

Critical Thinking as Anarchist Weapon (safety-pin-punk)

Security Culture: A Handbook for Activists (safety-pin-punk)

Betrayal: A Critical Analysis of Rape Culture in Anarchist Subcultures (safety-pin-punk)

ETC:

The Anarcho-Stencilism Subreddit (people upload stencils for others to use for free) (mushroomjar)

I would love to make a Vol. 3 post next year, so if you have resources and want to share, PLEASE message me!! (Preferably DMs)

[pookie-mulder]

October 2024 fic roundup

👶☑️ Beginnings by @television-overload

The most perfect follow-up to Of Our Own Making! Seeing m&s fall in love and go on their first date AFTER getting married and having a child together is just precious. (Especially Mulder’s “will u go out with me” note!) I love their unconventional relationship so much.

🐓🍽️ Untitled by @aloysiavirgata

This little fic is hilarious! I love Mulder getting the chance to be subtly petty towards Bill. I also love to see MSR being so domestic and settled down in the unremarkable house.

blue prints by @foxmulders

(Couldn’t find an ao3 link to this one)

Oof. This one hurts in the best way. It’s everything you want for these characters that they never got to have. It’s fluff, but it feels like angst because it’s a reminder of what the Mulder-Scully family could have been. I love it!

🛁🫧 the alchemy by @leiascully

I absolutely adore “platonic” intimacy that happens when they’re not quite together, and this fic starts out that way and ends in some incredibly satisfying RST. For such a short fic, this one sure does pack a punch! One of my favorites from fictober.

🕳️📍 You Send Me by spookynerd

The silliest premise leads to the sweetest romance! I love to see Mulder all pathetic and pining. My favorite line: “I’m in love. I think it’s terminal.”

🧜‍♀️💍 mermaids, native to montana by @foxmulders

I read this one a while ago and recently stumbled across it again. It’s the type of fluff with an undercurrent of sadness that creates such a powerful sense of longing. If you’re a fan of an unconventional marriage fic, read this one!

🛌🚂 Untitled by @myassbrokethefall

I usually steer clear of revival fics (I haven’t even been able to bring myself to watch it yet) but this one is just so darn sweet! I’d like to go back in time and show CC a copy of this fic so he writes it into the show.

🎂💌 Birthday Blues by Donnilee

I’m a fan of an author who can turn the silliest, most improbable situations seem probable, and this fic delivers. Read it if you’re a fan of tropey goodness and smut that’s as adorable as it is hot.

💇‍♀️💥 By the Dim and Flaring Lamps by @sunflowerseedsandscience

I was in the mood for a historical setting, and this Civil War AU fit the bill! One of my favorite things was its exploration of 19th-century gender roles, not to mention the unconventional romance.

🇮🇪🏰 Katherine of Ireland by Jenna Tooms

If you’re a fan of Hiraeth (as I am), you’ll love this one! It has a very similar setting and plot. The writing styles are very different, though, so it’s not like they’re carbon copies of each other or anything.

Anyway, this fic is achingly romantic, with plenty of lines that take your breath away.

(If you want the epub for easier reading, let me know!)

🏝️👻 Waldron Island by @sisterspooky1013

Like Gaslight, this fic features M&S not being able to trust their own minds. However, this time, it’s for horror reasons, not sci-fi reasons. Regardless, that concept is one of my favorites to explore in fiction, so I absolutely devoured this spooky fic! (And the ending scene? 😫🔥🥵🥹‼️)

😈🪞 Succumbing to the Truth by OnlyTheInevitable

If you liked Waldron Island, you’ll love this one! It’s a similar concept, but lies more in the casefic genre rather than straight-up horror. I loooove the way it uses the plot (a succubus demon) to force M&S closer together and finally talk about their feelings. It’s one of those fics where you can see where it’s going, which adds anticipation and makes the ending so much sweeter!

🥤🛍️ Inevitable by @thefinestmuffins

This alternate version of the car conversation in Tooms is an incredible Scully character study that’s absolutely dripping with UST. For a short fic, it truly packs a punch! One of my favorite parts is this: “On the Dana Scully list of priorities, want figures very, very low. It’s not that she doesn’t possess it in great quantity, it’s just that she fights like hell to rate it less highly than ambition, dignity, control, pragmatism, self-sufficiency, stability.”

[wangxianficfinder]

Fic Finder

Feb 6th

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1. Hi!

I've been watching your content for a while and I really liked it, so I would like you to please help me find a fic.

This fic is a One shot with a/b/o theme (wwx omega LWJ alpha) where wwx lived a "house" for omegas (where he is a friend of mm) and they "borrow" it for prince Lwj, Lxc ( alpha) is the emperor and JGY (omega) is his partner.

In Gusu, omegas are not considered for cultivation, however, wwx doesn't care much about that and there is a scene where he along with LWJ fight in a cave with a monster. The final scene of the one shot occurs when WWX runs away from Gusu to the beach, LWJ follows him because they promised to visit the sea one day together.

the wangxian relationship is slow and with lwj's problems to express his feelings 😓

I would appreciate your help, if you need more information, I will gladly try to remember more things😊 and sorry for the grammar, my native language is not English (google translator)

FOUND? Rattling our cages by danegen (E, 69k, wangxian, A/B/O, but like polite, Slow Burn, Pining while fucking, so much hair combing, WWX has a vagina, POV WWX, no yin iron or wars or plot really, Canon Era, spiders--see the notes, Spanish Translation Available)

~*~

2. Heya! Can y'all help me find a fic?

The part of the plot i remember is that WWX uses an array to erase himself and the wens from the memory of the cultivation world. The array stops one day, and a bunch of people go to the burial mounds to see what's up. It was on ao3, probably.

and that's ~all i remember~

a nice fic but not the one i remember. pretty sure wwx was hiding in the burial mounds with the wens. thanks for this fic tho!

NOT FOUND! Second Summer by Anonymous (M, 152k, WangXian, canon, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Mystery, Amnesia, Memory Loss, Curses, Somebody Lives/Not Everyone Dies, somebody lives/somebody else dies, Golden Core Reveal, canon-typical lack of lube, Ambiguous/Open Ending)

NOT FOUND! you've heard that melody before by Stratisphyre (M, 66k, wangxian, JL & LSZ & LJY, JC/WQ, Canon Divergence, Hurt/Comfort, Memory Loss, POV Multiple, Multiple Canon Character Deaths, Depictions of depression, Light Dom/sub, Not Everyone Dies AU, Twin Prides of Yúnmèng Dynamics)

FOUND? Run Off The World by Sapphire_Roses (M, 271k, wangxian, JYL/JZX, SL/XXC, WIP, Not Everyone Dies AU, Canon Divergence, Wen Remnants Live, Flashbacks, YLLZ WWX, WWX Creates a Sect | Yiling Wei Sect, Sect Leader WWX, Married WangXian, OCs, POV Outsider, Morally Grey Characters, (Do Take That Tag Seriously), Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Family Feels, Developing Friendships, Fluff, Attempt at Humor, Yunmeng Siblings Feels, Gusu Siblings Feels, Sibling Bonding, Pining, Character Study, Tenderness, Mild Smut, POV Alternating, It Gets Worse Before It Gets Better, Minor Character Death)

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3. Hi, i was looking for a fic i think i found in your blog? It was a wip and it was something along the line of wwx as yilling patriarch and the sects sent lan wangji for tribute. But they already knew each other.

I remember this one scene where lan wangji finds bunnies inside the burial mounds but wwx captures them to eat and lwj is sad.

I don't remember the title or anything because i think i directly clicked the link and started reading but then i forgot to bookmark it and lost the link.

Please help me find it, i really wanna know what happened next.🙏😔

FOUND? The Jade Bride by lanwangjibo (Not rated, 16k, wangxian, WIP, Pining LWJ, YLLZ WWX, Misunderstandings, POV WWX, POV LWJ, Fluff and Angst, WQ Lives, Wēn Remnants Live, LSZ is a Wēn, WWX is Bad at Feelings, LWJ is Bad at Communicating, SS Being an Asshole, Pining WWX, Hurt LWJ, BAMF WWX, Angst with a Happy Ending)

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4. fic finder request! looking for two fics that i can't seem to locate in my bookmarks - A) in the first one, sizhui (and the rest of the juniors?) somehow reach through time and rescue wwx (i think dead in present time), bringing him into their present! in the process they create a lot of trouble, due to the power expended and released, i believe they turned a mountain into a crater or something.

B) the second fic I'm looking for takes place during the sunshot campaign, when baoshan sanren decides to join the fight and intervenes. she restores both jc and wwx's cores, by reaching back into time and removing jc's core right before it's melted by wzl, she also returns wwx's core from jc's to wwx's body. she does this in her tent, which is also a dimension travel portal or something which iirc links back to her home on the mountain.

thank you very much!! @potatokunst

4A)

FOUND! Would You Come Home? by s6115 (Not rated, 46k, WangXian, Junior Quartet Centric, Time Travel Fix-It, Canon Divergence, Junior Quartet Dynamics)

4B)

FOUND! Can't Tell Me Nothin by natacup82 (T, 35k, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Everybody Lives, Family Feels, Communication, BAMF Women) Baoshan Sanren return Jiang Cheng's core from the past in chapter 4

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5. hi! gosh, i have had this fic stuck in my head for the past weeks but for the life of me, i just cannot remember the name. i really hope you can help me find it!

the fic is about how modern wei wuxian is a researcher/scientist and he got his hands on a shady book written by baoshan sanren, accidentally triggers a talisman/array and somehow being transported into the wuxia version and it involves the people who died coming back to life and they all watch/read the past and it just sort of becomes one big therapy session.

i think i remember there being a part in the fic where modern wei wuxian mentions transferring/donating his organ to modern jiang cheng in reference to how og wei wuxian transfered his gold core to og jiang cheng.

and also a part where it was mention that for modern wei wuxian, it was madam yu who found and brought him back to the jiang family to be raised and not sect leader jiang; also it was implied that the modern jiang family is actually a loving happy family in contrast to the sort of dysfunctional og one because modern wei wuxian address's madam yu and sect leader jiang as mother and father.

i wish i could remember more, i hope this would be enough to go on. please help me and thank you so much in advance! @lilith--14

I believe this fic has been deleted but please correct me if I'm wrong - Mod C

FOUND? Yes the fic was deleted. It's "Loving Future, Distant Past" by yareyarejojosan. Here is a link to a folder that contains all of the author's fics

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6. For a fic finder, there was this nsfw kinda darkji (probably pwp) fic that haunts me and might have been deleted, becaused i’ve searched in every way I know how: (post?)canon, wwx can’t get hard anymore for some reason. He is embarrassed to admit it to lwj, who then calms him and says it’s normal and that he doesn’t use it for much anyway. Turns out lwj was the one who started and keeps giving him the tea for impotence. The lan doctors are in on this(?) Thanks if anyone can identify this one!

I don’t think 6 on the last fic finder was it (still a delishiously dark-ish rec, thank you!), it was (probably) a shorter pwp and not modern

NOT FOUND You Sing of Thanatos; I Hear Only Eros by kanonkita (E, 39k, WangXian, MIND THE TAGS, Modern AU, Extremely Dubious Consent, Dark!LWJ, Mild Horror, Omorashi, Tentacles, Rope Bondage, Shibari, Praise Kink, Breeding Kink, Oviposition, Non-Consensual Body Modification, soft pillow talk, Hurt/Comfort, non-consensual emotional healing, Panic Attacks, Wetting, Body Horror, Impotence, Magic, Anal Sex, PIV Sex, Mpreg, Mild Suicidal Ideation, Voyeurism, PWP, Angst, nonconsensual medical treatment)

FOUND? Succumbing to His unconditional love? by MurderRose (E, 2k, wangxian, mildly dom/sub, WWX's floppy little cock, the trials of being utterly loved, LWJ can be a tiny bit dark as a treat, opt in or opt out at your will, its almost invisibly mild, a lil bit of humiliation)

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7. Hello (✿◠‿◠) hope you having a good day! This is for the fic finder, I've been looking for this fic where after his death wwx comes back as a rabbit, it has a glossary at the start for words/terms the rabbits use, I think? I really hope this is enough to go form!

FOUND! Dignity and Animality by quick_cat_tl (G, 31k, WangXian, Watership Down, u know the one with the political/philosophical bunnies, Reincarnation, Lapine language, Rabbit!WWX, Sunny Angst, Pining) Hi, number 7 is probably „Dignity and Animality“ by Anielka. Unfortunately, it seems to be deleted on AO3. / For #7, I remember reading "Dignity and Animality!" When I click the link for it (from the wangxianficrecs tumblr), it redirects to Dignity and Animality by quick_cat_tl - maybe the author changed their AO3 handle? / The question about #7 - I copied the link for the current posting for that story and then took it into the wayback machine where that same link does pull up the story being underneath the original name mentioned back in 2021, so it was a name change and not a repost.

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8. I’m looking for a fic, one chapter, Lan Wangji is a teacher in Cloud Recesses. He takes Wei Wuxian to the Jingshi and it’s implied that he told Wei Wuxian he’d not tell anyone what Wei Wuxian had done so long as Wei Wuxian let him fuck him.

~*~

9. Hi! I hope you can help me find this. All I can remember is that WWX fell asleep in the cold spring and I think Lwj or Lqr saw his body few hours later and wwx is cold as if he is already dead.

FOUND? 🔒 Warming up (to him) by barisan (T, 9k, LQR & WWX, WangXian, Hypothermia, Cloud Recesses Study Arc, Temporary Character Death, Medical Inaccuracies, YZY Abuses WWX, JFM Bashing, pre-wangxian, Good Uncle LQR, Angst with a Happy Ending, Hurt/Comfort)

FOUND? Warmth by Quiet_crash (G, 2k, WangXian, LQR & WWX, Hypothermia, Fluff, Kinda, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm)

~*~

10. Hi! Your work on this blog is absolutely amazing! For fic finder, I've been searching for a fic I read awhile ago. It's post-canon. WWX is traveling and writing to LWJ, but letters stop coming. LWJ searches and finds that to prevent a creature from preying on a local child, WWX took it on himself but to prevent the curse from hurting anyone else, he's hiding in a cave, constantly drinking to dull the effects.

FOUND? Fire in the Blood by Jo Lasalle (Jo_Lasalle) (M, 20k, wangxian, First Time, Post-Canon, Angst with a Happy Ending, hurt/comfort themes)

~*~

11. Hey I read a book recently, in there, there was a scene where, wwx was protecting someone? Or someone was protecting wwx? By standing on one side of fire and the attackers/i think it was jins or someone on the other side of fire. The scene was fierce. They were like us against the world type of scene. Do u know this fic? @constellationdks

#11 for recent fic finder here, thnx for the rec but it's not the one. The one I'm looking for is quite long, I think it was more than 30 or 40k. Also the scene wasn't with a yuan.

I know number 11 and I'm trying to search for it. It's wwx holding a-yuan in his arms in an alleyway when they are attacked by the jin. The premise has something to do with that strength parents get when defending their children? 🤔 let me get back to you!

NOT FOUND Hysterical Strength by covalentbonds (Not Rated, 3k, WIP, WangXian, Canon Divergence, Parent WWX, Fix-It of Sorts, Everybody Lives/Nobody dies) Wwx is out one evening with a-yuan when he is ambushed by the jin.

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12. Fic finder please! 🙏

This would be a hybrid/warprize LWJ where he was a bunny hybrid and WWX was a snake. WRH has LWJ shipped off to WWX, who ends up helping him and eventually gets him reunited with LXC.

I remember there was art of LWJ and rabbits bc WWX was trying to help him calm down. I’ve read this sometime last year and can’t find it anywhere! 😭😭

FOUND! 山水盆景 (Shānshuǐ Pénjǐng) by meicairoubingfan (kiradyn) (M, 64k, WangXian, warprize AU warprize lwj, Slow Burn, Strangers to Lovers, Vers WangXian, Top WWX, Top LWJ/Bottom WWX, Animal Traits, Non-ABO Universe, Snake Demon Lord WWX, Animal Traits, Hand Jobs, Seduction, Found Family, Wedding In The Cloud Recesses, Handfasting In The Cold Spring Cave, Alternate 3Zun, Alternative Sunshot Campaign, Hinted Future ChenLi, YZY is a better mother, JYL Is Not A Wilting Wallflower, empowerment, Side-Character Cameos, Rabbit Sanctuary In The Burial Mounds, Cutest Little Bun MXY, Accidental Child Acquisition, Child MXY)

~*~

13. (First part added to itmf) But I’m looking for a modern au were even though jc’s family is rich they don’t give wwx and jc pocket money and they were hungry in front of a bakery? And wwx used the « orphan in the street card » and lwj bought him food

I don’t know if it’s the same one but I think at some point wwx bought lwj home while he was drunk and waited for lxc to come pick him up and jc saw them talking on the couch and he thought they were dating (they weren’t together yet)

ANYWAY thank you for everything ✨✨✨ @ihaveasoftspotfora-yuan

~*~

14. Hi! for the fic finder please, there was a fic where lz read on a book abt the hannaki disease and he thought it beautiful so he started choking himself on gentian flowers to imitate the feeling @cocoaphil

FOUND? the sweet scent of their tragedy by HeavenlySkyfarer (E, 23k, WangXian, Angst, Cultivation Sect Politics, Depression, Hanahaki Disease, Language of Flowers, Love Confessions, Manipulation, Marriage, Mental Health Issues, Pining, Post-Sunshot Campaign, Rumors, Unhealthy Coping Mechanisms, Whump, Self-Harm, Bittersweet, Self-Blame, Canon-Typical Violence, Blanket Permission, Morally Gray LWJ)

~*~

15. Hello, I am looking for a fic I read some time ago (it could be a few years). I think it was post-canon, Lan WangJi and Wei WuXian were together. LWJ gets cursed and the only thing he has in mind is killing WWX (since he sees him only as the big bad Yiling Laozu). At the end, WWX pretends LWJ killed him and the curse is lifted. It was posted on ao3. Thank you for your hard work! And have a great day!

I think I remember this fic! It starts out with WWX accidentally cursing LWJ with a talisman while they were in the jingshi and ends with WWX running to the burial mounds, finding out there are people who worship him living there, and he uses the incense burner to trick LWJ into thinking he killed him to break the curse, right? I can't recall the name though - Mod C

FOUND? all the broken things that I made by ilip13 (E, 43k, WangXian, Post-Canon, Established Relationship, Angst with a Happy Ending, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Lovers To Enemies, (then back to lovers I'm not a monster), Dubcon Kissing, Dubious Consent, But mostly not in the way you might expect - see notes for details, Explicit Sexual Content, Bondage, Flirting, Competence Kink) might be this? I haven't read it yet, but the summary sounds like what they are looking for!

~*~

16. Okay I could have easily dreamt this up but I could have sworn there was a fic where either LWJ or WWX was in a orchestra and his band mates thought he was married to wen qing because she was the one to always bring a Yuan to him after school or something only to think he was cheating when his actual husband comes by pls tell me I didn't dream this

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17. Hi! im sorry i lost a fic and i need help. It was an old wangxian fic, where LXC He's emperor (?) and LWJ is engaged to WWX, in this fic they get married and there are problems with the marriage because LWJ was a little bad during their engagement, since they were children. WWX was always trying to get his attention until one day he gave up. In the fic there is a part where Su She shoots WWX with an arrow and LWJ punishes him in some way.I remember it was also a Tumblr AU that later become a fic

NOT FOUND! rebuttable presumption by @sarah-yyy

NOT FOUND! Burning Bridges by Keysmashed (E, 12k, wangxian, arranged marriage, misunderstandings, pining, angst w/ happy ending, family drama, swordfighting, non-graphic smut, emotional rollercoaster, love confessions, everyone lives au) it’s probably not this one because su she is not in it and it’s not royalty but wx are engaged and wy does give up so even if it’s not you might like it

FOUND! permissive presumption by sarahyyy (G, 7k, WangXian, Royalty, Arranged Marriage, Pining, Mutual Pining, Misunderstandings) could also be permissive presumption by sarahyyy, on AO3, which is an AU of the author's fic on tumblr

~*~

18. Hi! This is for fic finder. WWX is killed by SMS in sunshot campaign. He then resurected years later by MXY in JGS order. WWX and LWJ fight together. WWX hand is blackened i think. JGS refused to tell WWX what is MXY wish is. In last chapter, JGS is killed by JGY or Madam Jin and WWX is free from the curse. I think JGS death is because of NHS plot i think. Thank you! @idontknowwhattowriteforusername

Hi! I'am #18 from the latests fic finder. I want to add some details. Not much but i hope someone can recognize it. Jin Ling and Lan Jingyi was sent to Qishan either as a hostage or indocrination. In there, everytime they are punished, Wen Ning and Wen Yuan help them to make the punishment lighter. Sometimes they warned Jin Ling, Lan Jingyi, and other junior everytime other wen sect member (the one that didnt hesitate to punush them harshly) nearby. I think Wen Qing too help everytime the punishment is so harsh that caused injury, she make them stay in infirmary where they are safe

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19. Hello! I’m looking for a fic where mxy and wwx are a couple who take lwj home for a night in a modern AU. The beginning talks about how mxy and wwx looked so similar that when they first met they were worried they were related. Lwj is on the verge of being in love w/ wwx, but he’s hesitant to act on it bc of the relationship between wwx & mxy. Once he’s in bed with them there’s a line about red satin sheets for special guests. It’s such a specific premise but I couldn’t find it on ao3😭

FOUND? you and me alone by plonk (Not rated, 6k, wangxian, MXY/LJW/WWX, modern)

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20. looking for a fic from a prev ff or itmf, modern au, college/research lab? setting, abo dynamics. wwx and lwj participate in some scientific research study and get together in the process. iirc they are not in the same yr at college. i didnt manage to save it then but really want to read it, please help!!

NOT FOUND Pairfire by PaidSubscription (E, 65k, wangxian, NMJ/LXC, JC/NHS, WQ/MM, JYL/JZX, Slow Burn, Mutual Pining, Fluff, Relationships 101, Getting Together, First Time, Explicit Consent, Bordering on Kink Levels of Communication, Elements of Assigned-ish Marriage-ish, Non-Traditional A/B/O Dynamics, A/B/O With a twist, Because Cultivators CHOOSE Their Gender During This Course, After Trying Out All Three, It’s a Three Course Meal and WangXian’s Gender Acceptance is the Dessert, But Horny Pining is the Main Meal and the Most of the Snacks, Bottom LWJ, Bossy Bottom/Henpecked Top Energy, Everyone is over 21, Gender Choice Raises Issues for Most But I Promise Happy Endings + Everyone Comfy in Their Own Skin, Side Couple Aro/Ace/Agender Storylines)

FOUND! 🔒 I is for Instinct by beeswaxing (E, 71k, wangxian, LXC/NMJ, JYL/JZX, hualian, A/B/O, Alpha WWX, Omega LWJ, Scenting, Possessive Behavior, Getting Together, First Time, First Kiss, Public Display of Affection, Public Claiming, Good Parent LQR, Alpha YZY, Good Parent YZY, Family Feels, Fluff, Romance, Aftermath of Violence, Slice of Life, Modern, College/University, BAMF WWX, Soft Wangxian, Barebacking, Knotting, Semi-Public Sex, Shameless, Mating Cycles/In Heat, Mpreg)

~*~

[scienceoftheidiot]

"LET EDWARD SAY FUCK!",

I read in people's tags, often.

And it bugs me every time. Because, in the French translation of the manga, EVERYONE more or less says fuck or something equivalent.

I'll make a specific post maybe one day if I end up documenting those instance for other characters, but this week I saw this post by @manga-and-stuff (I hope you don't mind me using parts of your pics! Tell me if you want me to take them down) and it struck me. Because I know this scene by heart. And I knew French Hughes sounded a LOT MORE pissed and scared than English Hughes, to me. And no, it's not a matter of native/non native language, I consider myself good enough with English to be over this kind of things.

Let's have a look.

What striked me first and lead to me investingating this are the censoring symbols. I KNEW they weren't there in French, and I was curious. Was he really swearing? So I went to look in my manga (Perfect Edition).

Hughes literally says "you are breaking my [balls]" in French. [Balls], because he's using a kids-friendly euphemism ("bonbons"= candies; this is such a kids friendly one that one of the Rugrats characters is called "Casse-bonbons" in French, but I digress).

Thanks to my partner in crime @qs63, we could compare this to the Japanese version

Disclaimer : I don't speak Japanese, so I'm relying on @qs63's knowledge, but if you have corrections to make please tell us in comments !!

So, anyway. It seems Japanese Hughes uses the word "mendokusai", which is an expression of annoyance, not very slang-y but not necessarily very nice. But not worth censoring ! In this way, the French choice to use mild/childish slang there is I think closer to the original.

Other thing in these panels, the different levels of speech used by English and French Hughes. French has more flexibility regarding levels/formality in language, which I think I have already touched upon. When in English you have "Hurry up!", in French you have an entirely different word from the littéral translation of this ("dépêchez vous"), with "grouillez vous", which is familiar/slang speech, but isn't really that vulgar (it's not like "Hurry the fuck up", but that's a word you'd use when you're very pissed and in a real hurry).

And last but not least.

Hughes's last word(s).

English : "oh my god"

French : "bordel"

lit. : "brothel", which is here used as "fuck" or "shit" - I would argue "bordel" is stronger than those, but I don't know if other French people would think the same. I use it often, but I'm known for my foul mouth.

Japanese : 糞くそ垂たれ • (kusotare) (alternative reading hiragana くそったれ, rōmaji kusottare)(rude) a dingleberry (a clump of feces hanging near the anus)

(vulgar, derogatory) a dingleberry, an asshole, a shithead (used as an insult)

(vulgar) shit, fuck, goddammit

(using what you've given me, @qs63 thank you so much)

All this to say : Hughes is canonically saying fuck as his last word, and English translation has decided to censor it, and I think this is sad. This feels almost like a different character when I read the English and French side to side, and I wonder how it is for Roy, who has a very distinctive way to chose his words in French (either too formal or too informal/slang-y for what he's currently saying), and I know he uses a weird honorific for himself in Japanese (watashi, formal I, when most of his speech is informal, which makes for an odd combination, and might be there to signal he thinks highly of himself).

(Once again notice how French has it easier to translate this because of our more formal/informal variations)

Let Edward say fuck? Let everyone say fuck and stay closest as you can to the original writing, PLEASE !

(no offense to translators, you know I love you friends. I'm convinced this is not the will of the translator, but rather the will of the publisher, as US stuff is a lot more sanitized, especially in things they deem "for children". At least that's how it seems from this side of the Atlantic.)

Here you go. Please add to this if you want !!! I'd love to know about more translations or if you have some insight to add about the Japanese part !

[insomniac-101]

Rose Tyler Character Analysis

Ah so Rose Tyler.

Rose " you like my gun?" Tyler who arguably, is one of the most important characters of the RTD era. A character so influential, that the narrative takes the time to mourn her absence and was single handedly responsible for bringing the series back from the dead.

She's so controversial. You either really love her or hate her, and I think that in itself is a testament to how well she is written. Because she left an impact, and that's not an easy thing to do in a series that has been around for so long

With that in mind though, I find that she is also the character that most people tend to misinterpret a lot. Often framing her in a bad light, rather than with the nuance required to understand her.

That being said I'm about to analyze the shit out of her character as well as some of her main relationships so if you love her, great I do too! Let's be friends! And if you don't, that's a shame but hopefully the way I interpret her journey will help you better understand why others do:)

I must stress that this is my interpretation but feel free to let me know if you saw a scene differently than me! Love reading alternate interpretations, me

Rose Marion Tyler is introduced to us in the first season of Nuwho as an ordinary girl. She has a job, a boyfriend, and a mother but from the way we are introduced to these facets of her life, we get the impression that she isn't necessarily someone that seeks to have anything more. She fits right in with said life and from an outside perspective, one can even argue that she seems content with it.

However it's in the moment where we see her come face to face with the impossible, that we really see who she is as a person.

When confronted with a group of living mannequins that slowly creep towards her , alone I must add, her reaction is one that is quite strange. Here she is, looking to fulfill a task in a completely dodgy and empty area below her workplace and when she sees something odd, she doesn't show fear. She doesn't scream, no on the contrary, she begins to try to rationalize what is happening in a manner that makes sense to her. Never one to assume danger, even when it is painfully obvious that there might be something strange happening.

That is when she meets the Doctor. A man unfamiliar and strange that saves her life right before she too succumbs to the threat. Thus, treating us to our first glimpse into the dynamic between our two leads.

She is visibly put off. Perhaps a little afraid but she asserts that the incident was nothing more than a prank. Something harmless and silly, even though it is quite obvious to us that that is not the case. It's this manner of viewing the incident that catches his attention however.

"Very clever, nice trick. Who are they then, students? Is this a student thing or what?"

"Why would they be students?"

"I don't know!"

"Well you said it, why students?"

"Cause to get that many people dressed up and being silly, they got to be students"

I find this interaction so interesting because it says a lot about her perspective. She doesn't assume the mob meant any harm. In fact, she goes out of her way to make up an even more incredulous scenario to justify their innocence, even when it is obvious that that is not the case. 

It shows nativity, but there's an underlying level of optimism there as well.

It is here where she finds out that Wilson is dead, and we see her react with concern. But notice, she doesn't assume he had anything to do with it.

Rather it's his tone that rubs her the wrong way, and she confronts the Doctor. Chastising him about joking about something so awful and even when he interrupts, she doesn't stop her pursuit for an explanation.

She is on the move right behind him, asking more questions that only seem to have more confusing answers. Following in spite of how absolutely bat shit his explanations are.

In this brief interaction, we see some of the most crucial aspects of her character. Her bravery, curiosity, and stubborn nature that allow her to remain by his side, long enough that he has to physically stop her and tell her to go home.

It is this blatant show of her character that prompts him to ask for her name.

Because here she is, confronted with the impossible yet she doesn't just stand to the side in shock. No, instead she chooses to engage with the Doctor. Trying to find a reason for what is happening, or in other words, a solution even if it's at the expense of her own well-being.

It's when we see her recovering at home, that the initial veil of an ordinary and perfect life is uncovered. Jackie is too busy on the phone to really offer any emotional support to her daughter. Gossiping on the phone about the incident, and in the minute a break presents itself, she uses that time to criticize her for not taking advantage of the situation.

I must stress that this interaction isn't included to say that Jackie is a horrible mother, quite the opposite, but she is human. RTD goes to show you that no one is perfect. That even the most well intended individual is flawed, and that everyone has their strengths and weaknesses. This is important to keep in mind when analyzing the relationships between the characters.

Even though Jackie doesn't show her support through words, she still takes the time to give her tea as she is sitting. She is doing the best she can under the circumstances in which she's in. She's conscious that their financial situation isn't ideal, and so by telling her that she should have asked for compensation, this is not to show that she is greedy, but rather it's her way of showing that she cares. That at the very least, her daughter can secure herself some money for experiencing the traumatic incident.

It shows that she's a realist, someone who views the world through a cynical lens and prioritizes survival above all else.

Similarly we meet Mickey, and he is a bit more emotional to an exaggerated degree. Showing physically that he cares with a hug and going out of his way to fuss and dote over her, but this overblown affection seems to make her uncomfortable. As if to show that she doesn't like being the center of attention, and that they are making her feel helpless at the expense of their concern.

Understanding her need for a distraction, he offers to take her to the pub but it's not long before she catches on to his true intentions. Granted he does appear to be genuine in his goal, but it's not an activity she would enjoy and so she tells him to just go alone.

Now similar to the previous point I made about the characters being flawed, that applies here too. The relationship she has with Mickey is not perfect. Mickey is trying to play the role of a perfect boyfriend. He is showering her in love and support, but we quickly see that his motivations are not completely selfless. That really that overblown affection he is showing at the moment, is an act. We see this happen again later when he tries to put on this front that he's her protector in front of Clive, but she shuts that down too. Not because she doesn't love him or appreciate the concern, but because it's not him, and this front he puts on sometimes results in him ignoring what she actually needs.

He assumes he knows what's best for her without taking into account that she might not agree. It's only when he shows that playful nature we saw earlier in the intro that Rose seems responsive to him. As if to show that it's when he's acting like himself, that she appreciates his company. Because what she needs at the moment is not for them to dictate what she should do, she just needs them to respect her decision to move on.

When he leaves, we finally see that the comfort she derives from him is really from the friendly banter they have. At the core of their relationship, is a friendship.

I find that way too many people tend to assume that everything Mickey does comes from a place of ill intent, and that is just not true. He's a person, and he too has his own motivations and emotions that may not always align with those around him. That doesn't make him a bad partner, just a flawed one.

When she wakes up, we see that yet again, she is subjected to more fussing from her mother but it is in this interaction that something interesting about Jackie is revealed.

Jackie claims that her prior job at the mall was giving her "airs and graces" and this is something she tends to bring up later too, when she feels herself becoming more distant from her daughter.

This is a reflection of Jackie's own insecurities, not Rose's actual attitude.

Whenever she sees Rose find a piece of the world to call her own, she tends to put it down. Not because she hates seeing her succeed, but because she fears that once she finds something better she'll leave her behind. That she will have to experience loss once more, at the expense of her daughter rather than her husband all that long ago.

Now this is an assumption that on her part, I'd argue, is a bit unfair given that Rose doesn't ever really show to resent where she comes from. (in Tooth and Claw, she is even named  "Dame Rose of the Powell Estate". Which shows that she is not really one to shy away from her background) Nor does she believe herself to be better than anyone, but Jackie uses it often because she knows it elicits a reaction out of her. She's grown so used to having her around, that now she can't fathom living without her and resorts to hurting her as a means of keeping her close. 

It's an attachment to her daughter that at times, can prove to be stunting to Rose's development but ties back to the long lasting grief she feels at losing Pete. Again this is not an intentional thing she does, but it is a flaw that exists and shows up when they butt heads.

(I stress this point because I've noticed that this Era of Doctor who in particular has many instances where characters declare something, only for it to be a false conclusion. It's vital that one considers not only the words, but the actions of said characters. To read into their words, rather than to take it a face value. I will be doing a lot of that here, case in point)

Rose often has to put up boundaries with Jackie. Not because she doesn't love her, but because the extent of her love and attachment can be overbearing to the point that it interferes with her life. They have survived so long by functioning as a unit, but now it's time for Rose to prioritize her own feelings and that in turn scares Jackie.

I must stress that Rose is still so young, only 19. For her to have the maturity to know how to handle her mother as well as handle the household (we see her fussing over the cat flap, demonstrating that she is constantly aware of the circumstances they live in) shows that she had to grow up fast. Being constantly aware of adult concepts such as finances and the death of a parent from a young age, tends to do that to a kid.

Now skip ahead to when nine stumbles upon her home, and she manhandles him inside lol. She takes control of the situation, offers him a cup of tea and asks him to accompany her to the police station so that they can both handle the situation.

I must stress, once again, that she has no reason to assume he's a good person. For all she knows, he could have purposefully caused the explosion to kill them all. But no, she assumes that he was just a victim like herself and aims to bring closure to the incident.

Rose is someone that assumes the best in people. We see this time and time again with how she interacts with those around her. When she is talking about the body that was found, she assumes it's Wilson and talks about how sorry she is that it happened to him and that he was a nice bloke (even though her face tells the opposite lol).

She is kind. It's in her nature to care for and care about others. It's because of this that she is able to get through to the Doctor when he tries to leave again.

So she insists that he tell her what's going on, and continues to pursue him while making conversation. At one point he asks if she believes him and she admits that she doesn't, but nonetheless she continues listening. 

A kind act she then does for Clive, which suggests that the reason why she stays is because she recognizes that everyone wants to be heard. That to be acknowledged, means to finally feel validated. Something that seems to be absent from her life, given how often both Mickey and Jackie tend to dominate conversations regarding her decisions.

She gives him the space to joke around, to add levity to the discussion but the moment he confesses that he is alone she stops it.

Because she is concerned now. He, a complete stranger yet she offers him the patience to go at his own pace. All while, she is firm in her pursuit for an answer but not at the expense of upsetting him.

This is why they work.

She has the emotional intelligence that he lacks. She challenges him by offering a perspective that completely goes against his own. And when he's being insensitive or too focused on the big picture of things, she is able to put him in his place. Reel him back in and set him straight again.

(I did a more in depth analysis on the 9th doctor here if you're interested!)

It isn't until after she leaves Clive that we see her actually start to reconsider the direction that her life is going in. Because now more than ever, she realizes just how narrow her perception of the world really is. How insignificant her life is, in the grand scope of the universe.

She reminisces, talking about how she could go back to school now that she has the extra time to spend. Another decision, mind, that was done on behalf of someone else and she is starting to regret.

She asks for Mickey's opinion but him not actually being him, isn't able to give his input and changes the subject.

"I'm sorry, was I talking about me for a second?"

Her offense is something that stands out to me, however.

Based on prior interactions, one can come to the conclusion that Rose is not as open as she appears to be at first glance. When Mickey attempted to appease her by offering her the space to talk about the explosion, she shut him down and later on refused to include him in her meeting with Clive. She even went as far as to lie about her prior involvement with the Doctor to her mother. Which in turn suggests that it's not often that she has aspects of her life that are solely hers and so, when she finds something, she keeps it to herself.

This could be due to a number of reasons, but I suspect it is because of the company she keeps around.

Her mother criticizes her job and asks her to change it, and Mickey dissuades her decision to go looking for Clive. She keeps things close to her chest because she's aware that the people in her life won't often support them.

Then the Doctor interrupts, and Mickey is revealed to be a clone. Panic arises but her being the selfless person she is, presses the fire alarm as a means of ensuring that more people won't get hurt. This also shows one of her biggest strengths as a character, she is incredibly clever. Even though she dropped out of school at a young age, she has a knack for finding solutions with very little resources. She's sharp and has a level headed approach that makes her perfect for a crisis. 

It also shows that she has a habit of putting others before herself, because before Mickey even attacked, she was already standing next to the button.

Her compassion, bravery, and quick thinking are what ultimately drive her to save the Doctor's life. Because I'm spite of being in trouble himself, he pleads that she save herself at the price of his own life. Proving to her, that he is not responsible for the death follows him. And in turn she realizes that the life she is living is truly stunting her, because it's her putting faith into her own capabilities that allows her to save him.

That she, just like the Doctor, is capable of doing something beyond what she thought was out of her reach.

That she is free to live a life not constrained by the ordinary.

Now I'll skip ahead to the big decision; the one that seals her fate as his companion and a decision I often see people misunderstand. The decision to stay with the Doctor is not one that comes easily. Her initial rejection of his request is one that displays her hesitance.

Note that it is not because she doesn't want to, that much is evident from the way she's gazing longingly at the Tardis. But because Mickey's pleading is getting to her. He is latching onto her, metaphorically and literally; not taking the time to consider how she might feel about the opportunity.

He does not trust that she knows what's best, which is made evident in the way he often doubts her.

Up until now Rose has been someone that puts everyone above herself when it comes to making decisions. She has to consider their feelings, to the point that she feels the need to hide things from them.

Her mother.

Mickey.

And now she's going to let them snub out that little spark she just discovered she has.

It's because of this that she thanks Mickey before she leaves. Because it's his helplessness that helps her realize how fit for a life of thrills she is. While he was cowering, she in turn was thriving in the danger.

Him doing nothing but clinging to her, made her realize that she is capable of doing so much more than what she could do at his side. That she has the potential to save many lives and make a difference in the world.

So she leaves.

She is not angry at him when she does, quite the opposite, it's him being true to himself in a crisis that puts things into perspective.

The next episode makes her confront the reality of the path she has chosen.

He takes her to the end of the world and she realizes that her role is not to stop the inevitable. The Doctor is not someone that is responsible for preventing bad things from occurring, no, he is a witness to them just like she is.

This confession comes with the loaded realization that not every adventure will end happily. That death is not something that can be avoided and that the Doctor is not a hero. This shows her naivety, and through this adventure, she begins to lose some of it.

She freaks out at seeing the "relics" of the human race. All things she is familiar with, yet, it comes with the startling realization that everyone is dead. 

That she is the last of her kind alive.

So she runs.

In spite of it all being such a shock to her, however, she still has the ability to reach out to someone. Finding comfort in talking to an alien by the name of Rufalo, and asking for her name and background. Extending kindness to someone that she doesn't have to, because it in turn brings her happiness. It shows she is someone that cares for others, regardless of what they look like. That at her core, she is kind and considerate.

One of my favorite scenes that perfectly demonstrates this point is an underrated scene where she talks to a plant. She previously observed that one of the aliens that initially greeted her is a tree descendant that gifts her a piece of her grandfather, and she addresses it shyly.

"Hello, my name's Rose, that's a sort of plant. We might be related..I'm talking to a twig."

It's played for laughs but it demonstrates that her ability to want to understand others comes from a place of wanting to relate to them. She talks to the tree with respect and views it as an equal before realizing that it's just that, a twig.

When the Doctor finds her and begins to appease her by making jokes at the expense of the aliens, she once again surprises him with her reaction.

She gets offended.

All on behalf of the deep south aliens that cannot defend themselves in the current moment from his scrutiny, because she is able to humanize them. To see them as people, in spite of the obvious differences they may have.

This suggests that Rose's first instinct when out of her element, is to try to understand and sympathize.

That way of being, is what causes her to turn her questions on him.

Why he is so quick to judge others.

Why he is able to maintain that sense of levity as he sees the world burn.

And why he seems so touchy about his background.

Something that I wish to add, because we have an instance of this happening in this episode, is that her need to understand others might be rooted in the perception others seem to have of her. People tend to diminish her value because of how she looks. In this episode, Jabe, the tree lady presumes that Rose is the doctor's concubine or even a prostitute. This is why she gets offended and tells them both off.

(This happens a lot more than I realized on my first watch, and a lot of people write it off as her being jealous when that's not the case. That isn’t to say that she doesn’t display some jealousy at times, but it genuinely does not occur as often as people claim it does)

This is also why Cassandra gets under her skin so much. Because she presumes that Rose is inferior and looks down on others but that alone is not enough to justify her being killed. She makes that clear when she pleads for the Doctor to save her.

We also get some insight on why her dad's death left such an impact on her. It's brief but while watching the earth melt away, she says this:

"it's gone, we're too busy saving ourselves no one saw it go. All those years, all that history and nobody was even looking."

Even though she didn't know him personally, the fact that he died alone is something that deeply troubles her. To anyone else he was just a man, yet to her and her mother he was a father, someone that was meant to be a part of her life. He should have had someone there, just like how the earth deserved to be remembered in its final moments by those who personally lived in it. To die without anyone you care for acknowledging your importance must be haunting.

The reason why she stays with the Doctor is for the same reason why the tragedy of her father's death deeply affected her, she doesn't want him to be alone. Loneliness can be so terrible. Had it not been for the Doctor being with her, she would have felt overwhelmed by the weight of the world's end. It's having him there that made the pain bearable. She understands this, and so, she takes it upon herself to be the person he has to look his way. To be the hand he has to hold when everything becomes too much.

But the question remains, to what extents is she willing to go to ensure that he will be okay?

Gradually we see Rose become more confident in her ability to command and reason. She no longer hesitates to step in and offer her perspective, all while she continues to extend her kindness to others. This at times, clashes with the Doctor's own priorities but nonetheless his exposure to her has an effect.

It is in the episode Dalek however, where that kindness takes on a new form, a merciful killing. Up until now Rose has been the one to tell the Doctor to give the perpetrators a second chance. To see the good in others even when it's difficult.

But now this creature that has killed many, is changing. It's growing aware, disturbed, and it's all because of her. She stops the doctor from killing it, but now the creature wants to die. It does not want to become like her. It does not want to become so human that it becomes aware of all it's done and how lonely it is.

For the first time, she is made to confront that her kindness might have just condemned someone to a more miserable end. That humanity is not something that every creature strives for, and that at times the kind decision comes with a price.

So she does what it asks, and orders it to die. Saving the Doctor from sullying his hands with more blood but at the price of her own becoming unclean. Are these the depths to which she would go to ensure the Doctor's wellbeing?

The next two episodes explore what happens when Rose underestimates her ability to make mistakes.

She's become more confident, taking along Adam to their next adventure because she believes she has a good judge of character. Plus he’s kind of pretty, so that’s a plus for her lol

She wants to be the impressive one now and share that wonder for the universe with someone else. To see what it looks like from the perspective of a new pair of eyes, because to her it has all become kind of normal.

The price of understanding the Doctor more, is that it comes at the price of her humanity. She will no longer be able to sustain her naivety towards how cruel the world can be. It will become harder to judge when she is viewing things in a rational human way, or through the eyes of someone that has grown desensitized to the chaos.

In retrospect, I don't think it's a coincidence she is wearing red here. She has now witnessed a death at her hands, and she is trying to regain control. To remember what it's like to view the world through the eyes of someone normal like Adam.

With time, she will grow to be a stranger amongst other humans. She will have a harder time relating to others because her understanding of the world far surpasses there’s. 

Oh but Adam is not like her. Because she assumes everyone is well intentioned, she fails to realize that he might hold ulterior motives. When he fails her, she realizes that she is also capable of making a bad call. That the Doctor is holding her to a standard and if she makes a mistake like Adam, she too can be left behind.

Father's day is where we finally see her make a misstep and it's one hell of a problem. Her initial goal was to be there for her father and comfort him in his final moments, but she realizes quickly that seeing it is far more disturbing than she had initially anticipated.

He's her father. Seeing him die once is bad enough, but twice? All while fully aware that she can easily prevent it? It's a temptation that is far too great to pass up. But quickly she realizes her mistake and she can't think rationally, she is far too emotional to reason with.

"but he's alive,"

"my entire planet died, my whole family. Do you think it never occurred to me to go back and save them?"

"but it's not like I've changed history, not much. I mean he's never gonna be a world leader. He's not gonna start world war 3 or anything"

"Rose there's a man alive in the world who wasn't alive before. An ordinary man. That's the most important thing in creation."

She overestimated what she understood about travelling in time. She realizes this, but her pride will not let her stand down. She wrongly uses his loneliness as a means of keeping him there, knowing that he would never actually leave her but alas he does. In doing so, granting her a once in a lifetime chance to get to know her father personally.

With this opportunity comes the realization that her father was not the man her mother told her about. 

Not successful nor heroic, but flawed like any other man.

She finds out that he and Jackie had a strained relationship, nothing like the perfect relationship her mother described. That he had had an affair and that they were not on the best terms when he died. Really, her mother was protecting her from the reality of the situation. All for the sake of giving her a father figure that would not disappoint her, even in death.

But on the flip side, she is also able to know the best parts of him. Now she has a reference of who he was at his best as well. She is able to have him recognize her as his daughter and when he realizes the extent of her mistake, he takes on the responsibility to right her wrong. So that his blood is not on her hands, and so that she will remember him as the proper father he would have been after he’s gone. 

Note that he does this for her, not because she wouldn't have eventually asked it of him, but because he doesn't want the guilt of his second death to be on her.

She apologizes of course, to the Doctor but not before he does the same. It is in this moment, that she realizes how much she means to him and in turn, how much he means to her. 

When viewing this scene, once should keep in mind that the episode draws many parallels between the Doctor and her father. At one point, it states that she considers the Doctor to be the most important man in her life. so when her father comes along, in misplaced anger she asserts that the Doctor did not want her father to live because it would threaten his importance to her.

The reason why I draw attention to this detail is because I believe this is the episode where she realizes she loves the Doctor romantically. 

When her father touches her face as he recognises her as his daughter, she nestles into it like a little kid seeking comfort from a parent. Now that she knows what it feels like to have a proper father, she has a better understanding of what that kind of love feels like. 

So when the Doctor does the same thing, she stares deeply into his eyes as if just realizing what he means to her. Her reaction to him is almost shy and stiff, very unlike her usual temperament.

I think this is the moment she realizes her feelings for the Doctor are not that of her trying to fill a void her father left, but of a different origin entirely. The reason I say this is because these two scenes, mirror each other down to the camera angle. With both shots, focusing on her reaction to the touch.

I don’t think it is a coincidence that earlier in the episode, she gets mad when her father assumes the Doctor is her boyfriend. She even expresses confusion on why people think they’re together, which wouldn’t really make much sense if she had felt romantic attraction to him prior to this moment.

This isn't to say that she purposefully projected such an image onto the Doctor, not at all. But I think it's this experience that finally gives a name to what she was feeling for him all along. Something that started off as platonic but eventually morphed into romantic love.

(I can’t believe that I just claimed Rose might have daddy issues but here it is. On the bright side though, this goes to prove that the Doctor fell for her first so do as you wish with that assertion lol)

Then Jack appears and finally, their attraction for one another becomes obvious to everyone but one another lol. This is where the whole dancing scene happens and I think you all know what they meant lol I don't have to make an in depth analysis about it. 

(But how curious that she suddenly starts being more blatant with her flirting, after Father’s Day? Just sayinnng)

I must stress now, because this will become critical later on, that Rose is naturally very flirty and touchy. She's like that with most people it seems, but she never really means anything by it. When Jack appears, she finds him attractive but when he starts getting too close she begins to feel uncomfortable. 

She even stops his advances at one point. She likes being liked, even plays into it, but she never acts on her attraction. It's a flaw of hers in the same way the 10th doctor likes being chased by beautiful women, but she's never unfaithful.

Okay so I'm going to say something really radical here, but Boomtown is when Rose and Mickey breakup. For good. Personally, I am not of the belief that they were together in season 2.

The reason why I say this is because the moment Mickey and Rose are left alone, all she can do is recount stories about the Doctor and how great their adventures are. It is here where we see what was pointed out to us previously: that she would eventually outgrow the outlook of those around her. She is no longer the Rose he knew, or fell for. She has grown more confident, happier, and can no longer relate to him. 

In other words, she has outgrown him.

It’s here where Mickey tells her that he is seeing someone else. 

Rose does become a little jealous here, making a comment about the girl's weight, but she quickly realizes it's not appropriate and takes it back. Instead, commenting that she's a nice girl. 

Now remember how I mentioned that at the core of their romantic relationship was a friendship, we see that here more than ever.

When he suggests they find a hotel, she reminds him that he has someone and then questions why he is even with Trisha if she’s not the girl he usually goes for. (They grew up together, so it makes sense why she would know what his type is). This doesn't seem as if she's asking because she's jealous but because she's confused on why he's settling for someone. 

She is concerned for his wellbeing.

To which he admits he is and that he can't move on because he is still in love with her. When he asks if he wants him to wait for her, she can't answer. Not because she is unsure of her answer, but because she knows what it is. Her heart is no longer his.

Her running at the sound of trouble and refusing to answer is the answer. It will never be him. She cannot promise him something that just isn't what she feels anymore. Him yelling that “of course it will always be the Doctor”, is him confirming it. That what they had, has ended. 

This is the moment they break up. Her seeking him out afterwards is not her trying to mend the romantic relationship they had, but the friendship.

But it is too late.

When she returns after the Slitheen crisis ends, he is no longer there. He will not wait for her anymore and when asked about his whereabouts, she concedes that he will not join them when they leave because he deserves better.

This is her acknowledging that she did wrong in having him wait. She cries because it ended in such a heartbreaking way, but not because it is no more.

She realizes she hurt him, and this guilt follow her into season 2.

The reason why I am so confident on this is because they’re never really all that affectionate after this. Yes they hold hands and hug, but that’s something she did with the Doctor long before they were together. They never share a kiss, and the only one that ever refers to their relationship as something more, is the Doctor.

(Who I must add, has his own motivations for doing so. Mainly out of jealousy, and because it creates a barrier between the Doctor and Rose's relationship. I swear, you can't trust these people lol)

That's why her attachment to him never really presents itself as an issue later. Weeell not until the Doctor inserts him as a means of putting a wedge between the two of them. But I am getting ahead of myself here.

Skipping to the final episode, Rose is tricked into leaving the Doctor and she is left to confront what life without him is like.

This is the girl who, at the thought of her father dying alone, almost broke the universe to grant him some companionship in his final moments. 

He is dying out there, somewhere she can't reach.

And in the meantime, she waits helplessly as the man she loves is trapped in the future, unable to do anything but mourn him.

For the first time, we are confronted with a version of Rose that is devoid of any hope. A sight so unfamiliar to both Mickey and Jackie, that they don’t know what to do or say to make it better. 

That does not stop them from trying, however.

It's here that Jackie is able to admit that she admires him for doing what he did. This confession is a big deal because it highlights the beginning of a major change in perspective for her. 

The reason why Jackie and the Doctor’s relationship is so strained to begin with, is because she feared that he would be the catalyst to Rose’s eventual departure. She projected her insecurities onto him, often portraying him as the type to endanger her daughter on purpose and the reason why her life was such chaos. Yet, in this moment she concedes that she was wrong, that the Doctor is more noble than she had initially given him credit for. 

He's not selfish like she initially presumed, but selfless; choosing to prioritize her safety, over his own loneliness.

When Rose questions what she is expected to do now, Mickey is offended. He cannot understand the extent of her feelings, so he resorts to the defensive. Claiming that she must a sense of superiority if she thinks she is not capable of assuming a normal life like anyone else. But just as was shown before, both him and Jackie are very flawed people. They have their agendas and so they impose what they think is best onto her, without considering their own biases.  

Because they care, they assume rather than listen ... but she's no longer the same Rose.

She is different. 

No longer naive and no longer fit to live a life that doesn't have him in it. Not solely out of love, but because she felt she was at her best there.

"it was a better life, I don't mean all the traveling and... Seeing aliens and spaceships and things, that don't matter. The Doctor showed me a better way of living your life."

She criticizes Mickey for assuming the worst of her in that moment, as he has seen first hand the change she went through. That's why they broke up after all, because that change made her harder to hold onto.

With that change however, is the realization that living a normal life would mean to throw away all the growth she went through. 

To abandon her new sense of purpose, and lose that part of herself that refused to give up. The side of her that held onto hope, in spite of all odds being against her.

And finally, to give up would mean to lose the Doctor: the man that believed in her and never stopped.

When she says there's nothing left for her there, on earth, she means it. She would rather die than live a life without him in it. 

She's an emotional wreck at the thought of losing him but other than it just being a statement said in the heat of the moment, I find that she might also have a point.

Sure it's harsh, I won't deny it but really other than her mother, what is there to keep her there? 

Everyone, even ordinary people, leave home eventually. That is just reality. Her mother is there, yes, but one day she will die. Rose will be all that’s left, because not even Mickey will measure up to the Doctor and it is unfair to expect him to fill his place. 

She will be expected to live a life where not even one person understands her and in the process, forget the part of herself that she grew to love.

What they're asking of her is to give up on the part of the world that she has made her own. To hide the spark that made her into who she is, because that's how much the experience has become a part of her identity as a person.

It's selfish, but doesn't that apply to everyone? Who's happiness has not come at the expense of other people? By asking her to give up her life with the Doctor, are they not doing the same to her?

The reason why knowing that she met her father seemingly changes Jackie's mind is because the revelation is a confirmation that Rose has grown up. Her distress is not out of a naive love that Rose holds towards the Doctor, no, she is aware of the implications of what she is saying.

The reason why Jackie never told her the truth about her father is because at the time, she was a little girl who could not understand that her dad was not a perfect man. She meant to protect her innocence, even if it came at the expense of the truth.

But she realizes then, that she is not that little girl anymore. That before her stands a young woman, who no longer needs her protection. One who has accomplished impossible feats on her own merit, and grew not because of her, but in spite of her.

So when Rose tells her that she has found her place in the world, she means it.

Not to mention, the Doctor was able to give her a sense of comfort that not even she could give her. Granting her a sense of closure and thus cementing just how incredible of a life she is leaving behind. 

Jackie’s own fear of abandonment, is not enough to blind her to how important of a task this is to Rose.

This is why they help her in spite of it potentially meaning her death. Because to ask her to leave it all behind without trying, would be the equivalent of killing her. The version of herself that was forged from the experiences aboard the Tardis.

Season 2 is effectively what occurs when the reality of falling for a man indebted to the universe, starts to settle in.

His regeneration makes her confront the fact that he is unlike any human man. That the rules that define human relationships, will not apply to their own. With that in mind, she seemingly loses her footing amidst the chaotic revelation. 

She struggles to take control of the alien invasion, not because she doesn't know how, but because everything she knew to be true has changed. The foundation of all she stood for, has been broken and she has no idea what her place in all of it is.

When she realizes that he is still him, her acceptance comes with the acknowledgment that their circumstances have changed. That she will have to accept those alien aspects of himself, and redefine her prior assertions of what a life with him would mean in the long run. Because now more than ever, the love between the two of them is stronger than ever. But neither is willing to sacrifice the greater good for it.

Something I need people to understand is that the reason why their relationship doesn't become anything more than a friendship, until Tentoo, is because both are aware that his duty is something he can't abandon. It's a conscious decision on both their parts, not just on Tens.

We see this time and time again when Ten is made to confront the possibility of her death. She is not immune to the misfortune of the world and she knows this. But just because she's aware of this, doesn't mean that she lets it stunt the enjoyment of her life.

This is where their perspectives drastically differ. On one hand you have ten who recognizes that he is not human. The world is cruel and to give in to his love for her would mean losing her eventually. This is why after he is confronted with Sarah Jane, he can't bring himself to describe why she is different. 

Why she is his exception.

So he brings along Mickey to act as a buffer. This is why Rose seemingly disagrees with his idea to bring him along. Her and Mickey are just friends. He still has feelings for Rose, she knows, and to involve him is to give him the impression that he still has a chance. Again, it's not out of jealousy. If it were, she wouldn’t have been so keen on bringing along Sarah Jane Smith after this adventure or Mickey in season 1.

At the price of his comfort, he cruelly doesn’t consider Mickey’s perspective. 

She makes this clear later on when he asks why he was tempted to explore Pete’s world.

“Mickey’s mum just couldn’t cope. His dad hung around for a while, but then just sort of wandered off.He was brought up by his gran. She was such a great woman. God, she used to slap him! But then she died. She tripped and fell down the stairs. It’s about five years ago now. I was still in school.”

“I never knew”

“Well, you never asked.”

“You never said.”

It is his inability, ironically, to not think beyond his best interests that has a tendency to hurt those around him.

The funny thing is, the episode where she is supposed to act jealous and petty is actually the episode where we explore why Rose is such a great match for the Doctor. Because even though Madame de Pompadour belittles her importance to the Doctor and seems to be the main focus of his affectons, Rose still does what she can to save her.

This is who she is. 

Yes, she can be emotional at times but when it really matters, she can put those feelings aside to do what is right. This is something that we see develop in her since season 1. It shows that she is aware of the duty the Doctor has to protect time itself, and it's here that we see her take an active part in it herself.

When Mickey taunts her out of jealousy of their relationship, asserting that the Doctor's intentions are not as pure as she thinks they are, she is quick to defend him. Because she understands that he is not someone that intentionally hurts others. No, he is flawed and his duties are too important to be held to a human standard.

That isn't to say that she is immune to falling victim to the same dark assumptions.

(We see this plainly in the prior episode too, where Mickey's taunts begin to get to her and she assumes the Doctor doesn't value his companions)

It hurts her. You can see that, in the way that she stares longingly into the distance. Coming to terms with the implication of having been left behind, and her role in his life. She will never be his priority. Not when he is the only one left, to ensure that the world won’t plummet in the absence of his own people. 

It is this reasoning that allows her to look beyond herself and reach out to him when he is grieving the loss of Reinette. To ask him if he’s alright, even if its at the cost of her own feelings.

“I’m always alright.”

It is here that she realizes how much he is holding back. How much the constant death is weighing over him. And so, she gives him the space he needs in the meantime. Displaying that strength she has, at the cost of seeing the Doctor at his weakest.

I think this is why in the next episode, when they are trapped in an alternate universe, Ten is seemingly afraid that he might lose her. I mean, to an extent that seems almost overblown but, it makes sense if one infers it's because of how he acted in the prior episode.

 Not only because he seemingly put a wedge between the two of them, but also because more than ever she is aware that his duty is to the universe and not to her. He realizes the extent to which he has taken her love and loyalty for granted. 

How more than ever she is aware that whatever is between the two of them, will never be.

(Personally I see this as his punishment for being so careless in his actions in the prior episodes. Till this day, I still can't watch that episode without feeling so bad for Rose)

His fear is a reflection of his own insecurity: that alien side of him that is incapable of understanding why Rose would choose him above all else.

Rose is not one that would ever hold it against him, however. For the sake of blaming himself, he underestimates the depths of her awareness to the situation they're both in.

She loves him unconditionally. She doesn't expect him to drop his duty. No, more than ever she is aware of the toll it takes on him, from a second hand perspective. 

This is why in Doomsday when Jackie criticizes her for becoming too alien, and for not settling down, she stresses that she will never have a normal life because the Doctor never will. It was never the traveling that made her stay, it was him. The thought of him facing the world alone, to revert back into a miserable version of himself because he has no one to ground him, is a reality she can't live with.

(not to mention, her becoming too desensitized to the life she lives is a problem that can be traced back to season 1 as well. Showing that this is very much a real thing that can happen if she doesn't maintain something that grounds her to the human world)

So she takes it upon herself to be there for him when he hasn't asked. This is incredibly selfless and consistent to her character since season 1.

So when she seeks out Pete, she's not really doing it with the intention of staying. She's curious to see who her father is in a universe where he seemingly lives. Because to her, he is her father regardless of whether or not the body he is in is the original. This universe's versions of the people in her life does not make them any less valid simply because they're slightly different, at the core of them is the people she loves. 

In every universe is a version of the person she loves that when prompted, will save her. This is seen in how it's seemingly these two versions of her parents that do something to help her even at their own expense. With this Pete, being the one to save her before she gets sucked into the void and this Jackie, being the one to save them both from an immediate conversion

(Hint hint, this is the attitude that prompts her to accept Tentoo and it's also a big part of her journey in the Rose Tyler dimension cannon audios.)

This is also the episode where her friendship with Mickey essentially ends for the time being. Seeing how much the Doctor and Rose have grown to love one another gives him the courage to leave. To find that part of the world that is his, even if it means putting a pause on his friendship with Rose. It hurts her to see him go, goes to show you how close they are, but Rose understands that this is something he has to do. That he, just like she did with the Doctor, has to put himself first.

This is why in their final moments together they don't kiss. It parallels her first departure, but without the affirmation that they're going to continue their romantic relationship.

In the kiss they do share earlier, it is one sided.  Initiated by Mickey and one that Rose doesn't seem responsive to, doesn't even close her eyes. It comes unnaturally to the two of them, as if to show how their relationship has changed.

Rose does not share the same outlook that the Doctor does. It's because of this, that their perspectives have a tendency to clash when they're in danger. 

She doesn’t let the moments they have together be weighed down by the knowledge that their time together is limited. No, it is that knowledge that helps her be more outright with her affections towards him. Carrying the strength and hope they both need to continue finding the joy in living in the present. 

We see this presented explicitly, when they realize they're stuck on Krop Tor.

"Can you build another Tardis?

"They were grown, not built. And with my whole planet gone, we're kind of stuck."

"Well it could be worse. This lot said they'd give us a lift."

"Then what?"

"I don't know. Find a planet. Get a job. You live a life same as the rest of the universe.

The Doctor can't handle the thought of Rose dying. You see this, in the manner that he is so quick to give up hope once he has accepted their potential doom. 

It goes to show that the strength and peppy attitude he has, is nothing more than a mask. That deep inside, he is afraid and struggling to hold it back.

This is where we seemingly see how he really is, how he really feels. 

How hesitant he is at accepting that there's a way out. 

How quickly he reverts back to cynicism when he isn't reminded that there's still something to fight for.

Rose understands this. 

It's because of this, that she resorts to humor. Telling him about the potential outcomes of their current situation, that won't end in death. That even as they wait for their inevitable end, they can still enjoy their final moments together.

It's in that moment, where they're both vulnerable that she admits she sees herself sharing a life with him. Something that seemingly stuns him back to the present, and causes him to put his walls up.

This must be terrifying to him. 

To have someone understand him so well, that he is caught off guard by how quickly she is able to bypass any prior barriers.

"I promised Jackie I would always take you back home"

"Everyone leaves home in the end"

"Not to end up stuck here."

"Yeah but stuck with you, that's not so bad."

"Yeah?"

"Yes"

It's her ability to not take his reluctance to voice his feelings personally, that causes him to smile. Because it's the moment he realizes that she sees him for who he is, and understands.

It's her capability to see what he means to say that prompts her to kiss his helmet right before he goes. It is what gives them the strength to watch one another as he drops below the surface with Ida.

In other words, it is what gives her the confidence to reaffirm what he means to her even if he can't express it back.

"Oh she knows"

That is why he doesn't see the need to voice how much he loves her right before he drops to the unknown. In a leap of faith, he realizes that really the only belief he really holds is in Rose Tyler. That he will have another opportunity to voice his feelings, away from imminent death.

Rose also devotes all her belief in him, and willingly shoots at the glass in an attempt to survive for his sake.

Beyond all reason, it's this complete devotion to one another that causes them to overcome the challenges that stand in their way. It is what motivates them to assume that the other is alive, even when the odds are against them.

It's this faith, that gives them the strength to continue living once they're separated…only to then reunite in season 4.

(Where another parallel can be found, in how they both seemingly always end up running towards one another. They both hold on to the one person they know will never fail them.)

"Love and Monsters" demonstrates the extent of Jackie's loneliness. She is a single mother who fills the void her husband left with casual relationships. Her daughter is the only real constant part of her life and the fact that she was "left behind" by her Pete is what causes her to harden and see the world very critically. 

It explains why she had such a hard time understanding Rose and her manner of thinking, because it goes against what she craves: security.

This is why she struggled to let her go, but now the Doctor is essentially her family too, and so her loyalty extends to him too. The Tylers are exceptionally loyal, they love unashamedly and they lend a hand to anyone who needs it: Mickey and the Doctor. They may clash often, but that loyalty is what allows them to hold on to one another in spite of their flaws as people. 

They're the ultimate ride or dies.

Jackie and Rose are very alike in this way, this is why they often fight. Their love for the people in their lives is so intense, that they have trouble separating that love from their decisions. It is what gives them the strength to stay by the side of their loved ones, even if it means sacrificing their own needs.

But something that I think people overblow is the reason why Jackie tells her that she's becoming someone unlike herself.

The reason why Rose's life was able to be relatively stable, unlike some companions who came after her, is because she makes an effort to maintain both her human life and her life in the stars. They're intricately intertwined, much like how Donna is also able to maintain her foundation in spite of the memory loss.

The Doctor really isn't her whole life if you think about it. She is not being forced to stay by his side and she does take the time to spend time with family outside of their adventure. 

She chooses to concentrate on their relationship but she has the choice to divide time for others as well.

There is another aspect of her, that I feel like too many people might misunderstand.

She doesn't think of herself as the Doctor's replacement. Her role by his side does not conflate her self importance, she is more than aware that ultimately she is not him. That she, is not granted the same liberties that he has to put her life on the line. 

She knows she is not the Doctor. And she, is comfortable with embracing her role as his companion. She wishes to share his responsibility, not take it over.

This is why she is able to maintain this human aspect of herself for so long. She's still compassionate and understanding, because the tough call is not on her hands most of the time. If it was, she would have gradually lost that part of herself in season 1. But nonetheless it becomes a possible outcome if she's not careful, just like her mother warned.

When she is clinging for her life in Doomsday, something I don't see enough people point out is how truly selfless Rose was at this moment to let go of her hold, for the good of humanity. She reaches for the lever, knowing that there is a good chance she will die, this is why she takes the time to look at him while she desperately holds on.

She wants the last person she sees to be the man she loves; to find the courage to do what is right at the cost of her own life. It was not done out of recklessness.

This is why they are perfect for one another. Because they both understand that they are not the center of the universe, that ultimately, the duty they now share comes first.

This is explored further in the Dimension Cannon audios, that gives context to the development she goes through that leads to her reappearance in season 4.

Her reasons for using the dimension cannon are more complex than they appear at first glance. Her sole reason for finding him is not only because of the love she feels for him, but because she also has to put a stop to the mass destruction of every universe. 

I see way too many people use her reasoning for coming back as evidence that she has this weird obsession with the Doctor, and that's just not true. 

She seeks him out because she has to. 

If she gets to stay with him afterwards, that's just a plus.

(from here on out, I will give out some direct spoilers on said audios to provide more context to the development we see in show. Skip to after the 2nd row of asterisks if you don’t wish to be spoiled)

*******************************************************************************************

It is in the realm of the audios, that Rose is entrusted to travel to parallel worlds without the prior knowledge of knowing where she will end up. Every universe is doomed, and she has to find allies in the parallel versions of the people she loves to pick up on details required to find her original world.

There is no such thing as a parallel Doctor. So she must figure out a way to get back to him and warn him, without his help.

Now I must stress, these audios get dark really fast. 

They do not hold back on showing just how awful this duty is, and how it comes at the expense of her humanity and moral code.

At times, she has to manipulate these parallel versions of her friends and family into helping her. To use them, up until she is forced to leave and in doing so, condemning them to a long and painful death.

 Over and over again. 

Imagine what that does to a person? 

To see the people you love, realize that you can't save them. To leave them behind, while hearing them plead for their lives to be saved.

She takes this duty on, under the pretense that her familiarity with the Doctor makes her the most ideal candidate for the job. She embarks on her first trip, thinking that this might be the closest thing she has to being on another adventure and that in the process, she could save some worlds in his absence.

But it's in fulfilling the role as the universe's protector that she realizes just what she signed up for. She becomes the Doctor's replacement, in the same way Jack Harkness takes on Torchwood and partakes in the duty to protect the earth. 

Yet what makes her different from those two, is that she is mortal. She doesn't have the tools they have at her disposal nor the wisdom that they have gained over the span of their extended lives.

No, she can die.

She cannot save anyone.

And there truly is nothing to guarantee that she will succeed. 

We see her struggle to maintain her distance, to not promise a way out to the people she encounters because there is none. She is no hero, she is their angel of death.

In an act of defiance to the death that will follow her, on her first trip, she saves an alternate version of Clive and takes him under her wing. Only to come to the realization that one life is not enough to make up for all the millions that died under her watch.

It is because of this that she opts to not embark on said missions alone anymore. Instead, she takes her own Pete, Jackie, and Clive only to find that they too struggle to maintain their distance. If not for them, then who will ground her?

It's in one of these solo missions, that she crumbles under the weight of the responsibility that she adopted. 

In a twist of fate, she is imprisoned inside a red phone box. Trapped inside with no means of escaping, and no real guarantee that she will find a means of leaving before the world goes to shit.

It is in this moment, where she is left to wallow in her situation, that we see her break down. She admits this to her mother, who can hear her through the intercom.

"I can't"

"Rose you're scaring me, just get out. Find a way"

"I'm locked inside a police box."

"What? A Tardis?"

"No Mum, a real one. A red one, all musty on the inside."

"Well you gotta get out."

“I know.”

I'll skip ahead, but I felt this was necessary to include to show how dire the situation is.

"I'm sorry.”

“Rose?”

 “It’s the same mom. Same doors, same noise, same light through the windows-I think they’re a bit smaller. If I half close my eyes, i’m there..but it’s not, i’m not. I’m not him. I’m not a time lord. No psychic paper. No sonic, No centuries of knowledge. Only one heart..”

“Sweetheart, I know it hurts but you gotta get it together.”

“How?”

“I don’t know, pick a lock or something?”

“How did he do it?”

“Sheer cheek, most of the time”

“He lit up every room he was in, they always listen to him! He walked through hell like it was a walk in the park.”

Because now she realizes how important it was for him to remain strong, to smile in the face of danger. Before it was easy to assume that she understood everything there was about how he looked at the world. The size of the burden, and what it meant to share it.

But now she’s in his shoes and the truth is starting to settle in. Jackie says this in response, as a means of putting things into perspective for Rose.

“If the universe needs the Doctor, then the universe needs Rose Tyler to find the Doctor. I’m so proud of you but you need to stay alive. One heart. One life, you got that?”

Rose never sought to replace him, we see that here in the manner that she can't handle being in his shoes. She is starting to develop that very same cynicism that he once had and is beginning to feel a sense of inferiority.

This is why she needs someone with her, much like how the Doctor needs a companion. This is a duty that he has to share with someone, not alone.

Jackie believes in her strength, because she knows that she has it in her to prevail. Rose and the Doctor are not the same, but nonetheless she is now the closest thing he has to an equal. And she has to learn to handle this new responsibility through her own means, not by what the Doctor believes is right.

(This is as far as I will share because there's still one audio left in the series and it has yet to come out, so I will hold on to my final conclusions until then. In the meantime though, I urge you all to check them out. They are absolutely worth it!)

*******************************************************************************************

But with this in mind, the hardened version of Rose we see in season 4 makes more sense. It's why the thought of having an alternate Donna die doesn't really dissuade her into using her, and why she is so unlike the Rose Tyler we knew. 

She has matured.

This is reflected in her clothing: the overly practical nature of her outfit and her leather jacket. It purposefully parallels the outfit her first Doctor wore at his lowest point. The version of himself that was overwhelmed by the responsibility he held to uphold what his people once did.

I believe it's this new understanding of his perspective that stops her from putting a name to the nature of their relationship to Donna. She assumes they're together, but Rose neither agrees nor denies her assumption. 

Because she can't make that decision on his behalf, not when he has so much at stake.

It is this new attitude that also seemingly makes her more distant. Less forgiving towards the Dalek threat and less inclined for a peaceful confrontation because she understands that sacrifices must be made for the greater good. It's why she serves as his support system throughout all the chaos, she knows now how overwhelming it is.

Yet that part of her that seeks to comfort those she loves is still there. We see this in the way that when the Doctor is struck, she does not waste time wallowing in all that she has done to get to him. No, she puts aside her feelings and tells him how much she missed him. Tells him she's been busy, as a means of not burdening him with all that she has done to get to him.

(Just as an additional tidbit, I don't know why people use these small bouts of jealousy she briefly displays in the first half of this two parter to justify why they believe Rose wouldn't get along with other companions. She canonically does lol She even compliments Martha and is seen to be on good terms with both Donna and Sarah Jane? Her initial jealousy stemmed from disappointment in being left out. It's not enough to warrant the impression that she is a jealous person all the time.)

With all this in mind, it also offers an additional reason as to why she ultimately ends up choosing Tentoo.

Her final decision is not done on a whim, no, it's her being exposed to the constant dread of a life in his shoes, that puts things into perspective.

She cannot continue chasing after him.

When she is returned to that beach, she comes to the realization that the Doctor is going to decide what is best for her, again. 

In the time they have spent apart, he hasn't changed his outlook on his prior decision. He is still firm in his belief that she is better off living without him (the timelord version), so much so that he does not ask for her input.

It's because of this that she decides to not back down. To not let him think that he can get away with deciding on her behalf because she's not the same woman she was all those years ago. 

Given that it's her life, it is she who needs to make the final call.

Notice that what she asks, when deciding what path to choose, is for clarification on what he meant to say on their initial separation.

The reason why this is important is because the man she knew, would never say it out loud. Only the one capable of changing and giving into that love, would ever do such a thing.

And that version of him is Tentoo.

He is human, but most importantly, his duty to the universe is the same as her own. Indirect. The original Time lord self can continue handling things in his absence so he's got nothing stopping him from enjoying a life by her side. One that can either be mundane or filled with adventure, but it will be spent with one another.

The choice was obvious.

(Notice that this is not the first time she is asked to make this choice. The first time being with Mickey, where she seemingly chooses the life of thrills over her relationship with him, over love. Now that she knows what both paths entail, this time she prioritizes love and chooses Tentoo. 

With the growth she underwent throughout her seasons, she realizes that it's not the adventure she wants, it's the Doctor. This is her, finally making the decision that fits this version of herself that understands that love is what she needs)

But it's with this in mind that she questions what the fate of the time lord Doctor would be if she stays. That is why she says "it's still not right, the Doctor is still you."

Because she personally knows what his role entails. She was barely able to handle it on her own with the help of her family, who is to say that he won't crash and burn when he is alone?

The Doctor is not only his name, but his promise to strive for the greater good. In other words, the role he plays for the universe. She doesn't mean that they're not the same man. No, she means to point out that the price of her happiness will come at his expense. 

That the time lord version, no matter what she chooses, will forever be tied to the responsibility of handling the universe.

"And I am him"

With this, Ten assures her that he too, in a way, will get his happy ending. Because by choosing Tentoo, he guarantees that this version of himself, his tenth incarnation, will not suffer the same fate that he will. A new man will not walk away in his shoes, no, this version of himself will spend the rest of his life loving the woman that he was made to love. To have the one adventure he can never have.

It does not come without pain of course. That is why he can’t bare to see the two together, and turns his back on them. Realizing then and there, that there is no longer a place in the life she will live from here on out.

When she kisses Tentoo, it is both a way of imparting that final sense of gratitude to the time lord version of himself (who allowed for this to happen), and it is also to signify the beginning of a new life she will spend with Tentoo. 

Tentoo is the Doctor, he harbors those same desires that the time lord version of himself has. He is human, which grants him the freedom to choose what path he wants and that path is none other than hers.

It would make absolutely no sense to have her resent him or even believe he isn't the Doctor. 

This is the girl who was able to love multiple versions of her father and mother. That through her solo adventures was reminded that at the core of individuals, are traits that remain regardless of their circumstances.

Why would she not love him too?

A detail I love is that when she hears the Tardis dematerialize, her first instinct is to stop and see it go. 

She is not running to stop him, that much is obvious, because she stops long before she even reaches it.

No, she just stands there and looks at it. 

Just like she would have done had she had the chance to see the earth go on her first trip. This is her goodbye, her affirming that he will be remembered and his importance in her life.

That is why Tentoo joins her, silently taking her hand as if to assure her that he is still there.That he understands that this, is her way of saying goodbye to his other self. But don’t fret, it won’t be long before they too will have their own adventures amongst the stars.

That being said, God forbid he finds out that Jackie joined her on her dimension cannon adventures, he would freak lmao

[themarginalthinker]

Undertow

Laddie and the Boys go beach combing. Laddie shows Dwayne some shells he found.

-

Hey guys! Back with another one! A cute scene between Dwayne and Laddie I've had in my head for forever, and finally getting around to writing it.

However, before the drabble, there are a couple of things I'd like to say about specifically our version of Dwanye here:

In our headcanons and worldbuilding, Dwayne is Native Canadian, from the Haida people of Haida Gwaii off the coast of BC Canada. In this drabble, he tells Laddie a story of Raven. I, nor my co-author, are Indigenous. The information on the story nominally comes from the University of British Columbia and the Canadian Museum of History. Here and here.

As someone who is not part of the culture and wishes to be respectful, I am open to concrit and suggestions for how to change or improve the character's representation or dialogue, and corrections about the presentation of the story or alternate sources of information!

As always, thank you. :>

When Laddie runs back to him, he's covered in sand.

"Did you fall in?" Dwayne asks with a laugh at the sight of the boy. The large shirt they'd cut down to size that still hung off his small frame was soaked, a smear of red, slimy algae coating the lower edge. His shorts, that were at least made for his small stature, are no better, wet on the front at the backside. There's sand coating Laddie's legs up to his knees and crusted on his forearms. Dwayne will end up brushing out his hair later and come away with enough to make a sandcastle, he's sure.

Laddie is grinning from ear to ear, though. He rushes to Dwayne, barefoot on the deserted beach. The epitome of a child in summer.

"Paul was giving me a piggy back ride and Marko pushed him and we all fell in the water!" Laddie says as he comes close.

Dwayne raises an eyebrow and looks up, to the pair further down the way. Paul and Marko are dancing around each other, feet barely touching the surf as the waves flow and ebb, pants rolled up to their knees and similarly barefoot to avoid soggy boots. They laugh, call each other names that Dwayne is glad Laddie is out of earshot for, and attempt to toss each other into the waves - or failing that, throwing gobs of wet sand at each other. Their jackets are stashed at the bikes that they'd parked up the dunes, where the beach turns into rocky outcroppings overlooking the little curve of hidden cove.

Up there, the glow of a lit cigarette brightens and dims with each pull on it, David huffing out the smoke as he watches the dark ocean and his pack, away from the grit and dampness.

Dwayne thinks priss, and even from this distance, he can see David pause in his smoking and shoot a look down at him. Dwayne just smirks and turns back to Laddie.

"Find anything good before they started being idiots?" He asks.

Laddie nods, and holds up the plastic yellow toy bucket in his hands, rattling its contents. Inside is a collection of shells and stones, glinting under the moonlight, washed clean.

"Uh huh! They showed me the best tide pools. Look! Paul even found some alive snails!"

Laddie reaches in and wedges one off the side of the bucket where it had been attempting to make its escape, the creature sliding wetly back into its shell to hide at his touch. The shell is striped orange and brown and faintly pink at the edges, pretty. Dwayne hums his approval at the treasure, though knowing Laddie might want to toss it back when he's told he can either let it die and keep the shell, or have to give it up anyway because, according to David, "Marko's flying rats are enough."

Dwayne glances into the bucket, pawing through them himself to see what else Laddie had managed to find.

A good handful of seaglass, blues and browns, worn smooth and frosty with the endless sands and waters. There were a good number of cockle shells, small and grey and pretty, a couple spiraling augers like little unicorn horns, a broken half of a scallop, and cowry shells jingling like coins in his palm. One, two, three four, five-

Dwayne closes his eyes, and takes a breath, banishing the numbers from his head. Waiting until the urge to count, count, count passed.

When he opens his eyes again, he sees something else, near the bottom of the bucket, grey and round and unassuming.

Dwayne reaches in and pulls it out, tugging off some seaweed clinging to it, scraping off the sand coating the inside so the pearly white interior is better seen.

A clam shell, dead and empty, but still attached by the connecting hinge.

"Hey Laddie," Dwayne says, "do you wanna hear a story?"

Laddie, previously entranced with the crawl of the whelk on his hand, leaving wet little trails along his skin, looks up.

"Yeah!" He nods his head, long sun-streaked hair flying around his ears. Dwayne reaches out and hooks a truly wayward lock behind his ear. If he wasn't careful he'd start to look like a mini Paul, and then where would they be.

Dwayne rubs the clam shell between his thumb and finger, and the words come quietly.

"A long time ago, when the world was very new, there was Raven. And because the world was so new, Raven was alone."

He lets the count of each pass of his fingers keep the words from catching behind his teeth. Letting them pass.

"One day, Raven flew down to the beach, where he watched the waves come in and out. He didn't find anything new, anything to catch his interest. He very well may have left, if something new hadn't caught his sight, at the last moment."

Laddie tilts his head, eyes intent, on Dwayne and the shell.

"There was a clam shell in the sand, but not like any other shell Raven had ever seen. It moved around, wiggling like no clam ever did. There was something in it."

"What?" Laddie asks, the conspiratorial tone Dwayne had unintentionally adopted having wormed into his own curiosity. Dwayne smiles with him. Leaning in a little. Thirty one passes of his thumb, thirty two passes, thirty three-

"Well, Raven flies down, and he lands on the shell. He pecks it, he prods it, he tries to see it all. And when he tries to open it, a hand comes out! Inside the clam shell are creatures that Raven has never seen before. Very strange looking, too. Bare skin instead of fur or feathers or scales, and just one patch of long black hair, the same color as him. When they see Raven, they are very afraid, and want to stay in the shell, but Raven calls them out. The world is very big, but Raven wants friends, and eventually, they emerge. The first people in the world."

As he has spoken, Dwayne's soothing of the shell hasn't stopped, the numbers in his head keep ticking up. He's smiling down at the shell in his hand, hearing the hush of the ocean nearby. The words come easy, as a scar on his palm catches on the edge of the clam.

"That's a funny story," Laddie says. His smile has turned into a little contemplative frown, shifting from foot to foot as he waits for Dwayne to finish.

Dwayne blinks.

"Yeah, it is, huh."

"Hey! Laddie! Over here!"

Laddie turns around as Paul calls out from down the beach, he and Marko crouching by some big, flat rocks, poking at a pool. Waving to him to come and see and fill his bucket more.

Dwayne breathes.

"If you find any more shells small enough, you can ask nicely for Marko to make them into a bracelet for you," Dwayne tells Laddie, standing up properly. Laddie's eyes sparkle at the idea, and he nods vigorously again, hair flying back out of place from his ear. He's off before Dwayne can reach out to put it back, legs kicking up sand as he runs, bucket of finds swinging.

Dwayne watches him go, and only realizes he's still holding the clam shell when the edge digs into his fingers. Held too tight in his hand.

Looking back out at the dark ocean, Dwayne pulls his arm back, and throws.

-

"Laddie-!" Star exclaims, eyes wide from where she'd looked up from her seat on the bed. She tosses aside the book she'd been reading to rush up to Dwayne.

Laddie is in his arms, barely awake. "Relax, Star," Dwayne shrugs. "It's summer. Let him live, huh?"

Star pointedly looks over the boy, covered in leftovers of the night's escapade from head to foot. Sea salt and sand and stained shirt, hair tied back with a bit of dried kelp of all things - matching Paul's own hair, evidence of the culprit of such a silly thing. A faint smile still on his face as his hands barely keep hold of his bucket.

With a sigh, Star just reaches forward and gently lays a hand on Laddie's back. "Fine. But you're washing it all tomorrow. Child included."

"Fair enough."

[dcdreamblog]

So, you've talked about how many consider the Crimson Avenger and the Phantom of the Fair to be the "first" superhero and "first" supervillain of the modern era.

I'm wondering if there are credible alternate candidates?

Also, who is generally considered the first superheroine and supervillainess? And credible alternates for that?

Of course many superheros and supervillains come from earlier ages, and there have always been people who fought or committed crimes in masks and costumes with and without superpowers, and also time travel is a thing, so I imagine this is a somewhat fraught question in your field?

So I had someone else ask your second question, about superheroines so I'm just going to answer the first one here. Yes, there are credible alternatives to the Crimson Avenger and the Phantom of the Fair for the very obvious reason that Lee Travis' debut in the fall of 1938 is not nearly the first time a costumed do gooder appeared on the scene countered by an equally theatrical evil counterpart. We have records of that going back to at least post Roman England.

(Image of the Silent Knight, recovered from the interior of a wooden church near modern day Maidstone, Kent, England. c. 5th century AD) We have knights, pirates, more cowboys than you can shake a stick at, revolutionary era frontiersmen, viking princes, native american folks heroes, the idea of the "Mystery Man" seems to be as old if not older than human society.

The reason the Crimson Avenger is considered the first is because he was the first in a now unbroken chain. His cloak still rests in the Watchtower above our heads, used to swear in each new member of the Justice League to their oath of honor. Photographs, newsreels, film, television broadcast, now digital picture and video he's considered the first because it is no longer a tradition that will last a single extraordinary generation and then fade away into the annals of oral and archeological history.

The world was on the precipice of evil's victory, an evil so hateful and extreme it was like nothing else we had ever faced. So our heroes grew to match. Now we live in a heroic age that shall continue on for as long as we do.

[shawty-writes-a-little]

From Eden 4.

[part1] [part2] [part3] [part 4]

darkling x brekker!reader

summary: feelings are heavy

word count: 3k

warnings: S2 shadow and bone, ep5 intoxication dreams, heavy angst, LONGING, English is not my first language x

An: I WILL update more frequently I PROMISE I PROMISE I PROMISE and NO this has nothing to do w that angry from Eden anon, but hey fucko if you’re reading this I still love you

Despite of what y/n promised Kaz, she knew she wouldn’t entirely stick to her word. For somebody who grew up in ketterdam honour was just another grey line ready to get bent to one’s will. Besides high ground all mighty morals isnt what Kaz raised her with anyways, she knew that if she planned to cross what she promised Kaz it’d be a reflection of perhaps just the way he raised her. At the moment she told herself frankly anything as they traveled for quest of the Neshyener, some of her big brother’s words did drip through her mind in a way, could it be she was that naive? Was she a pawn in Aleksander’s game, perhaps a useless one but still someone whose emotions he had amusement toying with? No. That could not be, Kaz didn’t have half a mind to know what he was speaking of and y/n knew Aleksander better than that. He wasn’t the best of men, he had his traits but he had always been a great lover to her per se and that is what mattered.

Pulling out of her thoughts when Tolya approached the three talking about how they should pray for their dead and what not, the rest where praying for their dead whilst Kaz, Jesper, wylan along with y/n stood on the side. Them not praying wasn’t a blasphemous just not that heavy on faith. Especially Kaz and Y/n. “We don’t have to worry about our dead, y/n here can well enough resurrect them.” Kaz taunted.

Most of the time y/n would talk back but she knew better than to create a scene again, “If I pay you will you shut up?”

Kaz scoffed, the source of their money was same nonetheless “How much and the answer is no regardless”

Choosing not to answer to kaz’s remarks y/n parted ways with a simple “I’m with wylan and Jesper” despite of whoever Kaz had planned to group her with, she didn’t give him time to answer as she paced with the two with slumped shoulders and crossed arms. Kaz doesn’t get to pick and choose what’s right and what’s not for everybody, all the time. She thought to herself grumpily, alternatively Kaz gestured Jesper to keep an eye on her, he believed he had lost y/n to the darkling’s manipulation for a long time—she’d be angry and whiny about his restrictions and ways but Kaz wouldn’t loose another one of his siblings to their nativity.

As much as y/n wanted to be present for the crows, in the plans and their ongoing troubles as well, she sensed something off between wylan and jesper she didn’t want to pry wylan and Jesper couldn’t get alone time with y/n to tell her about it, so in all it was just filling awkward silences with small talks. She could deduct it was probably some argument. It seemed petty as an outsider of someone’s relationship but she recalled being in that position once.

She went through it all once. The days spent with Aleksander hauntingly found his way back to y/n’s mind. She’d avoid sleeping so what she assumed was her own mind tormenting her with his dreams would stop. ‘But can’t you see I’m right here?’ ‘The saints couldn’t get me to leave you…’ ‘I am not leaving you, my world, I’m leaving neither.’ It felt frustrating thinking about those dreams where he said he hadn’t left and then reality struck that he actually hadn’t. Did they mean anything? Was the Aleksander in her dreams real?

If so, she was furious. Furious at the man who claimed to love her to ends and had her believe he had died. He wronged an entire nation and didn’t even tell her that. Conversations with him prior to it all came back like cold and sharp ocean waves. He’d talk of a greater tomorrow for Ravaka, everyday he’d work tirelessly camps to camps tracking one artefact to another. Not that he didn’t tell her about it, they would have lengthy conversations but y/n would’ve never thought he would be expanding the fold just like that. The signs were perhaps always there. It was rather wrong of her to be oblivious to it, she was the only person Aleksander was that open to. Maybe if she loved him less she could’ve known what he was capable of.

He’d told her of all wrong that was done by his hands, she foresaw them, lost them in the story of the boy she told him, the boy travelling town to town raised on a wretched fate. Y/n knew what it was like to grow up in burning houses, the flames never really leave you. She maybe didn’t condone what he did but she never even asked herself that. She didn’t want to at the time. Kaz’s words ‘Manipulated by your beloved monster’ made her glum thinking was he right? Surely not, the man who’d raise wars would come into her arms like the sweetest gift of life. His shoulders relaxed only in the moments he’d have his arms around her. The man who didn’t speak more than orders and council meetings would talk to y/n about his past, for a stoic man his love was ever so evident for her even amongst other people—gesture of his hand on the small of her back, his eyes scanning for a certain woman in the crowd, married…they were almost married. How could he possibly manipulate her? His love that intense like of a raging storm why wouldn’t Kaz understand that?

Aleksander did a bad thing, evil even. Her Aleksander, a traitor, rebel, the villain to them all, most dangerous thing but they don’t know how the most dangerous thing used to laugh. How he used to love. How he does, but y/n isn’t so sure if she could reciprocate it that way anymore. She knows she shouldn’t. She knows she shouldn’t even be thinking about him the way she did as of now. No.

Y/n has promised kaz and she had promised herself, she wouldn’t associate with him no more. He kept his motives hidden from her once and he could again if he succeeded. The world was against him for a reason. All the torment he inflicted wasn’t justifiable by her. She’d see him one of these days, for one last time and then wash her hands of him. He could live out his days in the wild or create a house of a fold for himself and she wouldn’t bother to care. It broke her heart not to care for Aleksander but she didn’t know any other way. She knew what she told Kaz but she promised not to go back to Aleksander, she won’t. Y/n will have to confront him once, she thought about it a lot, what it would be like, hold him by the collar and demand an explanation. Wish him the worst, bid him goodbye and then wash her hands of him.

—

With sundown y/n became more and more clearer of her thoughts. Firm she will close the chapter that was Aleksander. Currently she stood alongside Kaz as the crowd towered tolya who explained the map of inside the house. Kaz’s plan was to sweep from all sides for the neshnyar, as y/n attempted to accompany wylan Kaz yanked her back by his cane, “Remember what you promised?”

“That literal?” Y/n groaned about her promise to ‘not leave kaz’s sight’ straightening her clothes. That evening took a low turn actually. The metal doors clung close with a pang just in a few moments they were in. The red gas flew out of the walls of the small room they were trapped in, faster than they could register what was happening.

“So this is how we die” Jesper’s shaky voice was first to admit what everyone else was thinking. Y/n struggled against the metal doors still, thankfully her optimism didn’t run out before she dropped to the ground unconscious.

-

The air felt crisp against her skin as the gigantic window crept open. She remembered these chambers. They were the ones she shared with Aleksander back at little palace. Y/n found herself in a dress, even the dress she recognised. Before she looked in the mirror she could reckon the fabric, it was her wedding dress. Unsure how to feel about it she just stared at her reflection. Is this after life? Is this a dream? Or perhaps a nightmare? Is it real? Four striking questions she didn’t bother to look an answer for as she stared at herself. Before everything happened, she’d never really got to try on her wedding dress. She chose the fabric and the pattern and the work on it but things went south faster than the designers worked. With the fete there was barely any time for trial. But as she saw herself in the moment it was exactly like she’d imagined, never too big on fancies but it was her wedding dress. Even her hair was done so perfectly she could make no sense of what was happening. It felt so confusing and endearing at the same time. Finally looking away from her dress her eyes fell on the note by the mirror desk which read ‘The Gardens.’ In a handwriting she was afraid she recognised.

Picking up the hem of the dress she walked out the room, down the long stair case she rushed to find an explanation for which state of being she was in. The opening to the gardens were enlaced with flowers and veils. When she finally came to the gardens she found entire area decorated as though celebration of the biggest event ever. Benches surrounded what seemed like a wedding altar, above hanged the most gorgeous garlands of bright flowers with dark organzas draped in a beautiful pattern. Each and every little detail was a conversation she remembered having with Aleksander from when they planned their wedding. In awe of the scene as she try to take in everything along with the sunset over the horizon, two hands pulled her back by her waist. Before she registered being alarmed, the instinct was replaced with that of warmth. Warmth she held very dear. “Why hello, my love” Aleksander spoke as he rested his head by crook of her neck giving her shoulder a gentle peck.

“Aleksander” Y/n said and turned to face him, she wanted to make sense of what it was that was happening but she truly didn’t want to. Maybe she is already dead but she was the happiest perhaps accepting whatever this was. She had so many questions to ask but the sight of his face, in his wedding attire, first time since the ship, first time since her strange dreams were it was just bargain, blame and endless arguments, y/n overcame the urge to punch him and show how cross she was, how much her hurt her, she just wrapped her arms around him, leaping into him as he carried her off her feet and hugged her tightly in his arms almost as if she wouldn’t exist if he let her go.

This felt like his luckiest moment, “and they say it’s a bad omen to see your bride before the wedding” he joked letting her out of his arms but still holding her close. “You look heavenly.”

“What-uh what is this?” Y/n asked finally, she could gather it was a wedding perhaps there but how so? What time of the year even was it? Plus they had so many hurdles to overcome before actually getting married.

“It’s our wedding day!” He exclaimed as he replied to her and gently caressed her face with a smile on his face. He moved his head to the side gesturing her to look around, the decorations, the empty guest benches, the wedding attires.

“But…how? How did we get here? Did we even tell everybody?” Y/n asked still not convinced that this could be real, a faint voice in the back of her head did tell her none of this was remotely real.

“We did, the guests will be here any minute.” Aleksander said “I just wanted to see you once…for myself.”

Y/n couldn’t help but smile at his irresistible little gesture to see her before the wedding all for himself. They were about to get married, together for an eternity, yet he couldn’t spare a few moments even. “And Kaz?”

“You know how your brother is, he was upset, really upset for a while. But he came around. Doesn’t he always?” Aleksander explained as he held his beloved’s hands in his.

His mannerisms of holding her hand so tightly desperately want to see her. Kaz coming around like he always did. Scene of the wedding. It all felt so strikingly real. This is perhaps exactly how their wedding would be. This was real. Maybe what happened before all of this was just a terrible terrible dream. Believing that y/n leaned forwarded and kissed her husband to be. Omens he damned. He kissed her back holding her face with his hand and his free arm by her waist securing her tightly in his arms.

Y/n pulled away for a moment to look at him, the setting sun behind her casted light orange hue on her lover’s face and she wanted to be reassured he was here. This was real. This was happening. However the voice said otherwise. It was everyone’s voice all at once.

“You abandoned me! You died…you made promised-you-I loved you..I-I love you! And you aren’t here you died you’ve left me”

“—I’m here aren’t I?”

"If it isn't the wedding bells I hear!"

"That monster of yours you almost married wasn't sabotaging your life?!"

"Manipulated. He manipulated you. You dimwit.”

Every conversation, every dream, everyone’s voices were echoing so loud it shambled the walls of her intoxicated dream. She pulled away from Aleksander sharply and put her hands over her ears to silence everything she wanted to be a bad dream but was reality. Aleksander put his arms around her to support her as she knelt to the ground he crouched down next to her not wanting to leave her side for a moment.

“This…this isn’t real.” Y/n told herself more than she told Aleksander. This isn’t real. It made her want to cry because this actually was her dream, to marry Aleksander and no body is cross with her. Her dream was dying. “This isn’t real-“

“Y/n” he cooed forcing her frantic eyes to look back at him, “look at me my love.” He said and his voice was so full of love and fragility Y/n wanted to cry that this wasn’t real. It was perhaps a stark foreshadowing what her dream would be like in reality, she could be in her wedding dress with her beloved and yet feel like crying. Because that dream would never be hers. “This could be real. It almost was. For a long time it almost was real, wasn’t it? It never occurred to you even four months ago that this couldn’t be, that we couldn’t be. Why now?”

“Aleksander…” she wept in her hands, how was she to explain to her hopeless lover of a conscious which conversed to her in form of Aleksander.

“Do you not want this?” He asked, his eyes scanning every hint of assurance on her face desperately wanting just one answer.

“Yes” she breathed out as tears ran down her face but she knew the ‘but’ after that yes was a big and unavoidable one. However unpleasant it was. “But it’s different now…”

“How is it? How is it any different y/n? Are you not the same woman who’d house a wretched soul that is mine…like you always did? The dreams we share…would you not house it any more?” He asked.

“Yes…yes I—I would Aleksander…” but I simply can’t, not after what you did. Y/n held back from saying because she didn’t want to admit it to herself.

“Then please, be it, be my home, be my solace, I’m out there leading a fight by myself and I always have until you—you. Please fight y/n. Fight for us. Don’t loose hope in us so soon…don’t wash your hands of us. Promise me you won’t?” He asked as he held her hands like the only thing in the world but she did not have anything to say as she stared at him. Eyes so full of hope but it was just the face of her own conscience. She did not have the heart to promise him anything nor did she have the capacity to stomach their love. She…missed him. But she didn’t want to anymore. That idea in itself was painful, very painful.

All that turmoil was over as a bigger one took place, gaining consciousness. Y/n woke up gasping for air as her mouth tasted like the worst thing she’d ever tasted. Familiar faces around her sighed in relief as she coughed her way out of almost death.

—

They got what they were there looking for. The neshyenyer. However y/n just got more frustrated how could her feelings remain so disoriented? She hated how she felt, she hated Aleksander but she wanted to love him to the end of her days but she knew that wasn’t possible anymore. She hated how Kaz still saw her as someone not capable to make rational decisions on her own and she wanted to prove him wrong but she didn’t know where she stood.

Furthermore as they walked out in the barren fields, Kaz tried to talk to y/n for a moment as they were loading the carriage but she dismissed him for later. Perhaps his intoxicated dream was eye opening too but y/n couldn’t handle it at the moment. Torment that her feelings and the dream she just had inflicted heavy upon her.

—

HIIIIIIII god I love this plot SO much at this point I’m just writing for myself😭

Drinker water eat sweets and keep seasonal depression away mfs

Tags: @louderfortheback @sloppyzengarden @mori1b2bpad @zeeader @shitpostrandomness @duchess @serpentthecrow @evalynkillgrave @bwormie

[ruiniel]

Another Way - X

Summary: what if someone in the 21st century stumbled upon this stranger during a turbulent storm, narrowly avoiding running them over, and what’s more they can’t understand a word coming out of their mouth.

Pairing: Alucard x Reader

Rating: Mature / 18+ only

Tags: Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Explicit Language, References to Depression, First Meetings, character-meets-world, Near Death Experiences, References to loss, Grief/Mourning, Fantasy, POV Second Person, Language Barrier, Violence, Portal Fantasy, Isekai, Slow burn, References to Canon, Rewriting show canon, Because why not, POV Alucard, Assault, Mild Gore, More tags to be added

Also on ao3

AN:

When Adrian speaks here, we assume it's in his native language for now, even if the words are in English.

Reminder this is an M-rated fic. This chapter contains depictions of violence and abuse. Heed the latest tags.

X.

Commissioner Arvan Trent sighs, removes his glasses and rubs his face vigorously with his palms before looking back at the photographs spread over his desk.

He’s seen many things in his twenty-year-long career of service. Many appalling, despicable things; he’s seen and experienced the full breadth of human cruelty and debasement, the lengths the mind can go to, stretched beyond sense, trampling on reason. He’s thrown more assholes behind bars than he can remember and how he wishes he could forget it all, sometimes. Wipe the slate clean, and move away. Unfortunately for him, this is his calling and always has been.

“But this takes the fucking cake…” Arvan mumbles to himself, one large square hand paging through the visual documentation of the crime scenes in the Black Hill area.

Two victims. So far. No connection to each other based on identification and initial background checks. Both ravaged beyond recognition, and even his stomach turned at the sight of dribbling innards carelessly spread around one of the bodies, like some grotesque wreath of pungent, rotting flowers. 

The one aspect both crimes had in common? The cruelty of the disembowelment and the same signature injuries which likely led to a fast, brutal death. For the life of him, he can’t attribute what he’s looking at to any living man or beast that he knows of.

Motive? None that can be identified, or none that makes sense, as of yet. The victims were at a considerable distance from one another. There were no manner of weapons found, no inconsistencies or any details to suggest a staging of the scene, either.

“Commissioner?” 

“Hari,” Arvan greets, nose still in the papers as the door to his office opens, then closes behind the young detective.

A folder is placed on his desk. “The coroner’s report,” the new arrival says.

“Thanks, Hari,” Arvan reaches for the contents and begins to page through.

“Hari.”

“Yes, commissioner?”

“I know they’re not prone to error, but the time of death of each victim seems awfully close to one another.”

“I asked the same—but this is what they came back with.”

“In that case, the only thing I can think of is that we’re talking two or more maniacs in cahoots because there’s no way one person can travel that distance and murder two people so fast by mauling.” He reads. “Cause of death of our victim number one, found on the side of the road: trauma from multiple fractures and vital organ punctures. Not a revelation, but good to know.”

“... there’s something else,” Hari says as Arvan turns the page.

“Of course, there is,” the commissioner mumbles, eyes skimming over each report; a dull headache intensifies. No indications of sexual assault, toxicology report came back negative for both victims. He reads on. “... the blood has been near completely drained from the body, likely in a matter of seconds.” He looks up at the detective. “It makes no fucking sense… it almost seems…”

“Random?” Hari supplies helpfully, pouring himself a cup of precinct coffee. 

Arvan falls back in his chair with another deep, tired sigh. “Not only that, but I’ve got our esteemed state officials halfway up my ass already about this. They don’t want to instill a panic or even a whiff of a potential serial killer on the loose to the public, not with the damn elections on the horizon.” 

Hari snorts, one familiar with the politics behind all such matters.

“...  and I’ve got not one, but potentially multiple incredibly savage perpetrators out there, and as a starting point…”

“Well, here’s where I have some good news, Commissioner.” 

Arvan blinks. “Don’t keep me twisting my knickers here in suspense Hari, you’re always enjoying it too much. Spill it.”

“There’s exhibit A,” Hari raises a transparent evidence bag containing what appears to be a small, round object of a yellow sheen.

“That looks like a coat button, Hari.”

“Precisely.”

“You have a coat button for me as a starting point.” 

“Many have started on less,” Hari arches a rich brown eyebrow, tilting his chin upward. 

If Hari weren’t one of his best, Arvan would have long lost his patience by now. Instead, he groans. “That’s true.” He taps a finger against his desk. “...and?”

“And, there’s something peculiar about this particular button. It’s gilded, you see. With gold.”

Arvan whistles. “Fine, you got me. Where was it found?”

“Not far from the roadside murder site.”

“Very good. Run the works on it.”

“In addition to this,” Hari continues, “we’ve checked on all the cabins in Black Hill. As you know, the forest is a popular retreat area.”

Arvan straightens in his chair. “Was there anyone in, during the time the murders were committed?”

Hari nods. “The investigation out on the field is still in progress, but so far we know of a few, as the road tracks also proved.”

“Well, Hari, forgive my tired snappishness. Call me grateful,” Arvan grumbles, paging through another forensic report. “Let’s get a hold of the owners, bring them in. The sooner we get through a first round of questioning, the better.”

~~

The lights are much too bright; a white, perfunctory light that has him blinking rapidly and makes his eyes water. 

He’s standing here, alone, doing his best to block the noise rising around him like a murder of restless crows: the sounds from the outside, of the rapidly moving vehicles, as you’d called them. The chatter of the people all about him, but worst of all: the high-frequency noise that surrounds him, which seems to be everywhere though others have no issue with it, one he must constantly bar from his consciousness just so he can think. 

Adrian takes in his surroundings, garnering the details of this place. He sees many people—some appearing lost, others resigned; he sees the mark of years and hardship on one face, the signs of rage or hunger on another. 

Why would you bring him here? Is this some sort of refuge, a retreat for the dispossessed? All he has are assumptions and fragments of memories.

At first, he recalled nothing more than rage and grief, the world spinning, and then: your face. He only knows one fact with absolute, desperate certainty: he does not belong here.

If only he could remember where he ought to be. He plays with the rings on his hand—one, larger than the other, spins easily on his finger.

Adrian remembers the year stamped on the calendar in your dwelling, and though what he’s seen so far makes sense that it would be so, he still wallows in disbelief.

He cannot blame you, for wanting to be rid of one such as he—your kindness he will not forget, though the sudden manner of your decision did affect him, giving rise to a familiar feeling: that of being shunned for being… for being who he is.

He clenches his fist to his chest, golden brows frowning as he tries, again and again, to remember. He reminisces on one recent night in that forest, though how he cannot tell: wet earth beneath his feet; brambles hissing and scratching at his body; the howling of a wolf, all lost in a nether of thought, and it is as if a dark veil has been cast over his mind.

“Watch it, boy!” an old man bumps into him just then, and he loses his balance—

You are much too troublesome for your worth!

A voice, a similar growl, arising from that same nether. It makes his head hurt, the sensation close to bursting his brain. He sways to one side.

“Excuse me, sir?” 

Through a haze, Adrian sees a woman standing before him, holding papers.

“We have some more forms we’ll need you to fill in,” she follows, and Adrian merely stares. He cannot comprehend her words though he tries, he tries but does not yet have a grasp of the full breadth of the language English has become.

“Sir,” she insists, “...are you unwell? Should I call a medical professional?”

The high-frequency racket around him increases, and Adrian turns sharply away, one pale hand finding purchase against a wall. Unable to stay here a moment longer, he casts not a look back at the woman and her repeated questions, not minding her calling after him; all he sees is the door, the door to the outside.

The way is shut.

“... Who are you?” he growls at himself once he's out on the sidewalk, shaking his head, taking a ragged intake of filthy air: it appears technological advancements have done no favors to the natural world humans used to inhabit, for there is scarcely any sign of it, here. Instead, electricity runs their lives now, by all accounts, from what he’s seen. 

He wades through the throng of strangely clad people, directionless, craving solitude to try, as countless times before, to recollect; to find those traces of himself that are missing, leaving him incomplete; his garments are not of this era, neither is he. There is something awful coming, something he must fight against, something he must return to.

When he’d fended off your attackers that night in the alley, one piece of this dreadful joke of a puzzle had fallen into place—his reflexes came naturally under threat, and so did his strength and agility. Their display, however, despite having done something he deemed necessary at that moment, seemed to affect you more than you were willing to admit. It showed in your eyes, your entire bearing: a new wariness of him, which likely contributed to your decision of abandoning him in that… that…

Adrian shakes his head. 

Adrian. That is my name. 

He stares at the cars speeding past, and the gray-tinted skies of evening.

I am… I am a soldier. I should not be here. 

Rain falls, drenching his coat and hair.

I know not where to go.

~~

“What do you mean, gone?” you ask the shelter employee, the agenda under your arm.

“You are asking about the tall young man you’ve brought in, wearing the long black coat? He simply walked out of here. He ignored any attempts to finish up his submission. He… didn’t look so good, if I’m being honest.”

Great. “...and you just let him— ugh,” you close your eyes, “Thank you. Do you… know how long ago he left? Or in which direction?”

The woman thinks as your guilt mounts. “... about twenty or thirty-odd minutes ago? I followed him outside, but nothing I said reached him. It was as though he couldn’t hear me. He took a right from here.”

You nod, and not wasting any time, run outside and start the car. 

Why are you doing this? He’s not your problem, you repeat, but still, you gaze left and right, searching, hoping you’ll spot him, at least to know he’s all right.

You’re worrying over a potential murderer.

You don’t know that. You’d given in to your natural fear of the unknown, and hell knows that nowadays, it’s more than justified.

Still. Something about him doesn’t strike you as one who would intend to maliciously hurt others, or take pleasure in doing so. And his confusion, his distress, had been nothing if not authentic through all the time you’d spent with him.

First things first— find him. And then, you’ll see.

“Come oon… come on.” Adrian is surely hard to miss in a crowd; and he can’t have gone that far, right? 

~~

He walks the empty streets, sees warm, rising steam from apertures placed in the ground here and there. This area of dwellings seems more decrepit than others, but somewhere, there surely must be a place for him, at least until he resolves to remember. 

There are rows of women to one side of the street, dressed in garments he can only describe as provocative; they stare languorously at him, inviting him with their eyes, but neither approach. 

Adrian walks ahead, his tall figure drenched in red and green neon lights. He hears, then sees a struggle: what appears to be a frail person, trying to escape the grasp of one that strikes her repeatedly, even as she cries and kneels, her arms crossed above her head. 

Frowning, Adrian draws near; a part of him is disgusted, for she is significantly smaller than her assailant; another part cannot stay away, and with the high-pitched noises ringing in his ears he walks faster, crying out towards the scene.

“... the fuck do you want? Stay out of this,” the man spits as the woman tries to crawl away from him, but he drags her back. 

Without a word, Adrian rushes forward, reaches and grasps his arm; twists, and through the screaming that ensues, he hears another burst of long, deafening sounds. 

Palms to his ears, he falls to his knees as a white vehicle with shifting blue and red lights stops not too far from the scene, and barely he catches sight of the woman fleeing one direction, while her attacker flails, wailing and choking and nursing his broken arm.

“What do we have here…” a man and a woman emerge from the vehicle, dressed in something resembling a uniform.

“I ain’t done nothing, officer, I swear, this guy jumped me and broke my arm, oh god…”

Adrian rises, shaking and confused by the strong, blinding lights.

“I want you to go down on your knees, turn around, put your hands behind your head, and interlock your fingers,” the man orders.

Whatever is happening, Adrian can surmise it will not go in his favor. He waits. 

“Hey,” the man repeats, both he and the woman reaching and pointing an object at him; a weapon, he assumes. “I repeat, get down on your knees, put your hands behind your head, and interlock your fingers!” he speaks, louder this time. They carefully approach as Adrian takes slow steps back. If these are the equivalent of a city guard, the last he wants is to be apprehended by them.

He must escape. He must—

~~

A sharp, deafening shriek. The feeling of dispersing into nothingness, and finding himself on the hard concrete ground. His arms tremble as he props them against the sidewalk, his chest heaving, and the air will not reach. He cannot move; it’s as though he’s used his entire energy, all his strength. He looks upward, and in a stupor, sees legs rushing toward him.

“Adrian, are you all right? Are you hurt?”

He knows that voice. He sees… 

You. Here? 

“...What are you doing here?” he asks weakly in his own tongue, slow to rise and making his way ahead; there is no sign of the red and blue lights or the city guard, but they are surely not far behind.

“I don’t know what you’re saying, but come on, I’m with the car,” you walk alongside him for a few moments, then turn away.

He hurries on shaking legs, heedless of your words. He cannot look at you. 

“Adrian—” you rush back to the car and soon you're there again, driving alongside him. “What happened? You look awful. Get inside, I can drive you back to my place so you can rest.”

“Whatever you are saying is lost on me, as you know,” Adrian mutters. “But I will be your burden of pity no longer,” he murmurs, carrying on as you continue to drive by his side.

“... You sound upset. I get it. But please, don't be stubborn about this.” A sigh. “I’m… I’m sorry, all right?” 

He senses the frustration in your voice. When he senses the plea, he finally looks your way. 

“I’m sorry for ditching you there,” you say, “I shouldn’t have dumped you somewhere, just like that. I was… I got scared, I… I have your agenda, look, see?” you wave the book Adrian used to write on. 

He feels somewhat thankful for it.

This back-and-forth goes on, for about two blocks. You seem to be relentless in your pursuit, and he is tiring.

“...please, will you just get inside the car?” you ask again, and whatever he hears in your voice, along with the sheer exhaustion in his limbs, permeating his heart, pushes him to capitulation.

Adrian stops in his tracks and turns towards the car; gazing long at the opening door, then at you, and the honest relief on your face.

Part I - Part II - Part III - Part IV - Part V - Part VI - Part VII - Part VIII - Part IX - Part XI

Taglist: @hornyf0ckers @drag0n-mistr3ss @pencildrawer12

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MASTERLIST: CASTLEVANIA SERIES x READER

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Likes/comments/reblogs always and forever appreciated

[dangermousie]

Farscape rewatch: 2x11 Look at the Princess Part 1

This three-parter is one of my fave eps and I think classic Farscape: taking the usual scifi trope and remaking it into something unique. On the surface, the set-up is something that has been done before, not just in scifi but in adventure lit of Victorian era: our brave Earthling (or Big Game Hunter, or Aristocratic Englishman) ends up having to pretend/be the groom of local royalty. Because he is so awesomely superior and attractive, of course. See Prisoner of Zenda and 8 million other titles. But this is Farscape, so this is not the case at all. When John is being chased, it’s never anything good  (I keep thinking of the fact that when Farscape finally decided to do the good old ‘hero must have more than one woman’ thing, they had Crichton raped by Grayza. In general, Crichton’s uniqueness brings him nothing but misery.) Here, the ‘other culture’ is far superior to the Earth one in its advancement, it’s powerful and needs no favors from anyone. Moreover, there is no ‘love’ or ‘he is so attractive’ on the part of the ‘natives.’ The reason Crichton works is, precisely, because in this world he is the genetic screw-up so he works as a mate for Katralla whose DNA has been messed with.

Nor is John someone who falls for the exotic Princess, or heroically rushes to the rescue of the kingdom out of noblesse oblige. He fights being married tooth and nail and then ‘unheroically’ surrenders to it when faced with threat of being turned over to Scorpius, and then saves everything only out of desperation and at the end, he is confronted with loss: his inability to kill Scorpius, the fact that he will never see his future child.

You know, I’ve forgotten how sharp the dialogue in Farscape is and how easily is can alternate between heart-breaking and completely funny. I keep thinking of the scene with John and D’Argo where John talks to D’Argo about hope and how “I have hope or I have nothing” and it’s an utterly heartbreaking scene:

(D’Argo pointing out his alternative is brain dissection by Scorpius is so very on brand - there is never an easy out or a good choice and a bad choice, just a bunch of bad choices.)

But anyway, it’s heartbreaking...

But it segues right into the bit of cultural misunderstanding about what ‘best man’ means and it’s now funny.

(Side note - will always love that D’s objection to what he thinks is John is propositioning him is “I am in a relationship already” and not anything else.)

D is a really good friend to John in this. They’ve come a long way since s1. Only a good friend would tolerate being constantly interrupted in his activities with Chiana (I love that John is so freaked by his future he merely registers her there and continues talking). John needs a friend badly at LATP. He doesn’t know it, but his insanity breakdown has began for real (he tells Aeryn he hears Scorpy in his head and she shrugs it off as paranoia. It must be pretty awful for John to have the one person you fear and hate the most always present). It’s a shudder-inducing scene in retrospect as it would be bad enough if it were PTSD but as is (Aeryn’s asking if 80 years as a statue is better than Scorpius here shows how much she does not yet get just how damaged John got by all of this; she will by the end of s2 but the price will be horrific.)

He is trapped by the Empress (whom I am not a fan of. I understand the necessity, but people who have no problems using other people as pawns are not a fave. And the whole setup is seriously proof as to why monarchy is a bad form of government - they are one bad ruler away from disaster). And then there is Scorpy. I love that John’s reaction to Scorpy is purely visceral, unreasoning. He is terrified and the way he uncontrollably flashbacks to his torture is evident on his face, and he tries to jest and put bravado but it all falls hollow.

He cannot control himself. I don’t think anyone else, not even Crais or Grayza, comes close to eliciting such a reaction out of him. Crais did a number on him physically, Grayza raped his body, and both hunted him assiduously, but Scorpius raped his mind and that’s his most important faculty in the mad world he’s thrust into. (But I love that even with all of that, he still asks Katralla what she wants not just as a last ditch hope of escape but because he does not believe in forcing people.) And now, I want to discuss my favorite stuff: John and Aeryn. I find myself both very frustrated with Aeryn through these eps (until the end of ep 3) and understanding completely where she comes from. She might deny that her wanting this marriage off is jealousy but Chiana can see it. I think in a way Crichton can too, but he needs her to give him something, anything to indicate reciprocity, that she would one day want to have something with him. The worst is when she says she won’t come to the wedding. She pushes a lot and wants a lot but tries to give nothing in return and yes that is very unfair but she is terrified, being with John would be the first real relationship she would have and she cannot handle the exposure, not yet. She can deal with the sex but she cannot deal with feelings. Her ambivalence is totally encapsulated in the first scene: she scents her hair so John would notice and tells him so later but when he does, she freaks and pulls away. He leans in for a kiss and she kisses him back but then breaks off. No wonder John is going insane.  I always die a little of swoon when they discuss the hair oil and she says that she will tell Zhaan he found her oils pleasing and he responds, both frustrated and trying to convince her desperately: ‘It’s you I find pleasing. Oh boy. She desperately needs to make it all about sex (something she is used to and familiar with). Crichton only wants her for sex, he is a walking horndog on legs etc etc, because she wants to deny any of her own feelings and any of his.

After having seen the entirety of Farscape, I melt a little when she sees Crichton interact with the simulacrum of his child and she realizes that he would want a child, that children are important to him. But also - as I mentioned, this is one child Crichton will never meet and he just has to live with it, there are no clean victories (side note, I loved that John was the one who wanted the emotions and the marriage and the baby and Aeryn had to think long and hard; such delicious reversal.)

P.S. Rygel/Aeryn kiss will never cease being funny. But also extra hilarious in light of his becoming her baby’s surrogate later, heeee.

PPS Ain’t it the truth

[moniquill]

https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com/books/706010/to-shape-a-dragons-breath-by-moniquill-blackgoose/

“To Shape a Dragon’s Breath by Moniquill Blackgoose is an early contender for the best fantasy novel of 2023. It’s one of those books that you have to thrust into the hands of everyone you know, just so you’ll have people to talk about it with. An Indigenous girl, Anequs, finds an egg, which hatches to produce a dragon that’s bonded to her — but according to the laws of the Anglish, who’ve colonized this alternate version of North America, Anequs must go to a special school to learn to control her baby dragon. If she fails her classes, her dragon, Kasaqua, will be slaughtered. What follows is reminiscent of R.F. Kuang’s “Babel”: Anequs is one of two Indigenous people at an elite school full of colonizers, who expect her to assimilate to their more “civilized” mores — but Anequs resists any suggestion that her own people’s knowledge or culture is inferior. Blackgoose’s worldbuilding is rich and fascinating, from the Norse-inspired Anglish culture, to the complex layers of Anequs’s society on Naquipaug island, to the alchemical properties of dragons’ exhalations. But what makes “Dragon’s Breath” such an absorbing read is Anequs herself: clever, resourceful, generous and uncompromising in the face of colonial condescension. This novel has garden parties and classroom scenes that are more suspenseful than most books’ epic battles.”

—The Washington Post

“[To Shape A Dragon’s Breath] has strong The Traitor Baru Cormorant vibes… it will reshape epic fantasy itself, in addition to the breath of a dragon.”

—LitHub

“To Shape a Dragon’s Breath is a remarkable novel that is bound to be a staple of fantasy shelves for years to come.”

—BuzzFeed

“Tender, thrilling and brimming with fire, this indigenous dragon story is one of the more exciting books I’ve had the pleasure of reading recently.”

—In Between Drafts

“Throughout the book, Blackgoose digs up the older roots of fantasy and plants new life with original ideas… a daring, entirely hot, take on dragonriders and worldbuilding… To Shape a Dragon’s Breath is one blazing epic gulp of a fantastic tale. Queer, anticolonialist, and full of dragons. Moniquill Blackgoose’s writing is easy to love: cutthroat, smooth, and reminds me of a story being told over an open fire.”

—Grimdark Magazine

“This is a classic fantasy at its finest, in which a young, underestimated outcast is introduced to a magical boarding school and all the friendships, drama, prejudice, and romance that immersion entails. The indigenous quest to maintain culture and identity within a paralyzingly restrictive imperialism determined to stamp out natives and their beliefs, and Anequs’ stubborn will to remain herself, create a fresh take on this setup and make this a must-read high-fantasy series. Blackgoose's focus on how storytelling and myth influence our culture and worldviews is also compelling. The relationships are exciting, the queer and polyamorous representation appealing, and it’s easy to fall hard for Anequs, her world, and her love for her dragon.”

—Booklist, STARRED review

“Dragons are never out of style, but To Shape a Dragon’s Breath by Moniquill Blackgoose is set to explore them in a way that feels incredibly fresh and intriguing in this indigenous-inspired fantasy novel.”

—Fansided

“Moniquill Blackgoose combines dragon mythology with sharp commentary on colonization and the struggles of indigenous populations in "To Shape a Dragon's Breath."

—PopSugar

“The fantasy and wonder of To Shape a Dragon’s Breath started immediately. But it didn’t feel like I was thrown into the story; more like I was joining characters and a world that existed without me. To Shape a Dragon’s Breath didn’t feel like there was an on-ramp to the world or culture. It would have been difficult in many books, but Blackgoose crafted a deep culture, society, and world that felt engaging to follow.”

—Lightspeed Magazine

“Blackgoose blends Indigenous history with fantastical beasts, taking themes of inequality and social agency in new directions. An excellent crossover novel for adults and young adults alike.”

—Library Journal

“Between the social commentary (couched in the fantasy world setting), the action, and detailed world-building, there’s a lot to love. It’s an engrossing story/world, and having the Indigenous perspective makes it hit all the harder.”

—Cinelinx

“To Shape a Dragon’s Breath has so many things going for it. It centers on a queer, poly, Indigenous character, dragon-riding and a boarding school setting. With a focus on dismantling colonialism and taking back heritage, what more could you ask for in a young adult fantasy?”

—Geek Girl Authority

“Incredible.”

—BookRiot

“Brilliant.”

—The Nerd Daily

“A fantastic world with wonderful characters, dragons, and places to explore.”

—Girl Who Reads

NATIONAL PRINT

Washington Post—review—5/8

Locus—review—May 2023 issue

Booklist—STARRED review—4/15

Lightspeed Magazine—review—December 2022 issue

Library Journal—what to read in 2023—2/7

Library Journal—review—1/30

Publishers Weekly—forthcoming books by indigenous authors—1/20

Booklist—series starters spotlight—1/1

Library Journal—SFF preview 2023—11/1

ONLINE

Cinelinx—5 new books—5/9

Geek Girl Authority—new books roundup—5/9

BookRiot—new releases today—5/9

Girl Who Reads—8 new Fantasy Novels—5/9

BuzzFeed—most anticipated of spring—3/14

PopSugar—new fantasy to read in May—4/25

Fangirlish—10 LGBTQ books coming out in May—5/7

Grimdark Magazine—review—2/3

The Lesbrary—sapphic May books—5/6

Fansided—new SFF in May—5/6

Fantasy Book Café—most anticipated books of May—5/7

The Nerd daily—new May books—5/4

Ms Magazine—best new May books—5/3

io9—new May books—5/1

Tor.com—new fantasy in May—5/1

In Between Drafts—best of May—5/1

BookRiot—best of May—5/1

LitHub—Dragons, Decolonization, and More: May’s best SFF—5/1

Distractify—best of May—4/26

American Booksellers Association—Q&A—4/26

Yahoo—best of spring—3/14

Ms Magazine—most anticipated books of 2023—1/25

Reads Rainbow—most anticipated—1/25

Tor.com—most anticipated—1/18

PopSugar—most anticipated books of 2023—1/25

Geek Girl Authority—most anticipated—1/2

BookRiot—SFF debuts to watch for—12/29

Lightspeed Mag—review—12/8

LOCAL MEDIA

Arlington Magazine—best new books of May—5/1

Galesburg Public Library Blog—review—5/8

[brickcentral]

It's story time again at #brickcentral and here's the final story made by @jbarchietto:

"The space station of colony 60434 is in full swing. For the past month, this mission has been working at the very edge of the system to study new energy sources.

The mineral planet is home to deposits of Stud crystal, a compound used to power most of the Legonauts' equipment.

Among the natives, the alien who stole the crystal has finally found his family. He alerts them to the Legonauts' drilling operations, which endanger the sacred crystals. A delegation comes to meet the scientists and ask them to stop drilling.

After handing over their stock of crystals to the aliens, the team instructs the scientists to find an alternative with the materials available locally, to save the mission.

After several weeks of fruitless research, a reconnaissance mission is sent to analyze a rift where a weak energy emission has been recorded.

Arriving on site, the expedition discovers the remains of a ship that has been missing for 30 years, but still appears to have energy.

The famous Commander Benny welcomes them and tells them about his journey, including how he was able to survive thanks to the energy derived from mushrooms growing in the rift.

It's time for the reconnaissance mission to call the station to repatriate samples and prepare a catalyst to replace the old crystal batteries.

Since this episode, the legonauts have made friends with the locals and life is good on this colony, which has been promoted to a central research center for the space program."

So here's the conclusion! How was the experience? Did you enjoy reading it? Let us know in the comments! If you want to read the complete story and go behind the scenes visit the blog post Stay tuned for the call for action for future collabs on our Discord server!

@theaphol, Community Outreach Manager

[comparativetarot]

6 of Science. Art by Ed Buryn, from The William Blake Tarot of the Creative Imagination.

Passage Two scenes from the book are collaged into one image. Below, Urizen explores his "dens, mountain, moor, & wilderness, with a globe of fire," while above, a naked woman pushes back obscuring clouds to reveal the firmament. Urizen blindly strides, left foot forward, on a "fearful journey" through "forsaken mountains," encountering "cruel enormities" and "dread terrors" writhing in the sky. His globe of imagination is enclosed by his selfishness, and its black flames provide no light. He does not see the lion, who seems ready to offer guidance or even humor (which Urizen lacks although Blake does not). The lion is our ignored instincts, and life's exotic surprises. The unseen lion and the blackened globe represent lost opportunities, much like the classic tourist who carries the wrong luggage, overlooks the natives, and misses all the fun. Nevertheless, this traveler pushes forward with a sense of purpose, feeling his way as he goes. The woman is Enitharmon, the imagination at work, who tries to shed light on the struggling Urizen. The stars she reveals are the Pleiades and the belt of Orion, the former representing wisdom and the latter, the foolish hunter. In her left hand she grasps the moon and in her right the sun, so that she is herself the passage or mediator between the contraries of female and male, the unconscious and conscious modes. Her negative aspect is in her alternative role as pity, which "divides the soul." With this card, passage is possible to new lands, to a higher level of consciousness, or to a place of objectivity where you can gain perspective or get an overview. Once set in motion, keep the ball rolling. Take advantage of the resources and opportunities offered. You do not journey alone; let imagination be your guide. In the creative process, this shows where opportunities may be overlooked by blindly pushing forward without pausing for reassessment. Stay open to making adjustments based on new circumstances encountered in the process. Get an overview of your progress. KEYWORDS: PASSAGE, TRAVEL • RITE OF PASSAGE • JOURNEY OF CONSCIOUSNESS • MENTAL OVERVIEW OR PERSPECTIVE • HELP FROM HIGHER UP • MOVEMENT AWAY FROM DIFFICULTIES TO RESTORE HARMONY • MEDIATION BETWEEN CONTRARY STATES • OPPORTUNITIES OVERLOOKED • DEPRESSION OR DANGER •

[whynotzoidbergdotorg]

Hi, I was just wondering what are the other reasons you dislike Ali Nahdee. I personally thought she had good point in native rep but she sometimes gets into anti stuff. She acts like seeing abuse relationships on tv will cause people to get into them. I personally didn’t like her but I still thought she had something to say.

she was personally racist to me.

back when all of the marketing around the princesses being in wreck it ralph 2, she had gone to the disney store to “critique” the pocahontas merchandise (totally normal behavior for someone who’s not even powhatan….) and had made a comment that a pocahontas doll was “paler than she was” (and provided an image in poor lighting—I would grab the tweet in question but not only did she block me, but she also nuked the whole thread after blocking me)

now, I didn’t follow her, and I actually had found the tweet in question in early 2019 when I was searching for reference images of disney’s pocahontas (as I had been commissioned to draw all of the disney princesses for someone) and her tweet came up in the results, because i specifically had been looking for the version from that movie (commissioner wanted me to draw those versions of the princesses in specific)

anyways I pointed out that not only was pocahontas not actually that dark skinned in the movie (providing a direct screenshot from the film as proof), but that historically she wouldn’t have been that dark skinned either (because get this, I’m actually part powhatan—and while I am admittedly white passing due to being mixed race, my maternal grandfather, who is native american, isn’t that dark either. he does have copper colored skin, and does tan rather than burn, but he isn’t like. super dark like ali was complaining pocahontas wasn’t on that specific toy.) anywho i prefaced my tweet with my heritage (I’m actually related to the real pocahontas’s family, funfact. not a direct descendant, more like…a distant cousin??? though in the past I have remarked on how in the portraits of her that exist, I look fairly similar in certain facial features, mainly my nose, eyes, hairline, and overall head shape)

anyways, after i pointed this out, and made it clear I didn’t think she was saying this maliciously, I just think she might have had a warped view of how pocahontas is meant to look…she blocked me, and then started subtweeting me…

first, she accused me of using a “poorly photoshopped image” of pocahontas to prove my point (I didn’t, I screenshotted directly from the movie off a cartoon website, so likely the source was a DVD since there was no logo in the corner, and from what I could tell the colors of other characters and scenes looked correct)

THEN she accused me of lying about my heritage—and mind you this was AFTER she blocked me so I couldn’t reply to defend myself or further expand on my native heritage—which anyone who has EVER talked to me for an extended period of time knows I am HAPPY to infodump about. Because both I and my mother have done tons of research about our family tree—and that part of our family in particular (since its one of the few parts of my mothers family thats well documented and in a language we both natively know.) I mean I even know the specific name of a shawnee chief I am directly descended from! (Cornstalk—funfact, the mothman mythos is closely tied with Cornstalk’s curse, which is an alternate belief about the strange events associated with mothman sightings)

Now, again, anyone who knows me knows there are THREE things that really really tick me off in regards to my native heritage—and that is 1) calling me, or any other woman of native descent “pocahontas” (because first of all, her name was actually Matoaka, AND she’s not event the only significant native american woman in history), 2) being asked if I am related to Pocahontas/Matoaka (I actually punched a kid over this once when i was little. ironically I then later found out I actually am distantly related to her. what a small world!), and 3) being accused of lying about my heritage for “oppression points”. (well, there’s more than three, but that would just be getting into a whole other tangent, and I’ve already gone on like, four tangents in this post alone)

This last one makes me absolutely furious because I’ve had people (all white) say I can’t be native because “don’t look native” to them. when like. that’s not even fucking true??? other native american people (specifically other cherokee people—which is one of the tribes I am descended from) have recognized me as looking native american, and like other members of their tribe. I literally have the facial features, I just happen to have fair skin, and lighter hair. I mean hell, if you looked at my baby pictures (which I don’t have any on my device right this moment unfortunately) I did not look like a “white baby”. I didn’t start “looking white” (as in my hair lightening) until I was older. I’ve had white people try to gatekeep and erase my heritage from me because of their own perceptions of my appearance (based solely on my skin-tone).

So yeah, the bitch accused me of lying about a significant part of my heritage, a part that’s very VERY important to me, a part that I refuse to let others erase (especially since I’m SURE the colonists who murdered Cornstalk and his son—both my ancestors—would love to erase that misdeed and bury it).

I mean, imagine claiming to be all about the rights of indigenous women, and then smearing and making sweeping accusations about another queer, indigenous woman! Could never be me.

But I guess I could never understand the brainrot of someone who spends all day complaining about fictional representations made by white people, instead of raising up indigenous creators who worked hard to create their own, better representation instead.

[atiny-for-life]

Ateez's Full Storyline Explained - Part 16

Masterlist

Halazia (Unnamed World)

I'd first like to say that all the information I’m referencing here comes from the MV, Prologue and Epilogue, Hongjoong’s Q&A shorts and the MV reaction video

In short: I'm just theorizing here but let's get going

First: the name "Halazia" - it's just a combination of "Hala" from Hala Hala (which can be translated from Sanskrit to 'black mass' or 'time puzzle') and "zia" which refers to the sun -> "Be the light, oh Halazia"

looking it up, you'll find some information about the Pueblo of Zia where a very specific symbol has been used for hundreds of years among the indigenous people to represent the sun that looks like this:

You'll now also find this symbol on the flag of New Mexico but the actual natives whose ancestors created and passed it down didn't consent to this and now there's a lot of (very justified) debate regarding intellectual property - this part has nothing to do with the Ateez lore, I just thought it was interesting and important to share in case anyone was thinking of getting this symbol tattooed or sth

Theory no 1 (basically confirmed by Hongjoong in his short lore Q&A vid): we're dealing with neither Ateez, nor the Black Pirates here

The main indicator to me was the lack of Mingi's "Fix on" and Hongjoongs lil giggles before their respective rap parts (which had previously been a constant, regardless of whether they were acting as Ateez or the Black Pirates)

But aside from that, it also seems like Yunho is the leader of this group with Hongjoong being his right-hand man as opposed to the other way around (and we get to see Yeosang’s birthmark which was previously always covered)

We do still see Hongjoong wearing an armband with the Cromer logo on it - so maybe it's more like Yunho's the public-facing head of the group while Hongjoong's in charge behind the scenes

Alternate reality-wise, we're in one very close to the Z-World where the Revolution has already ended but not quite so successfully, as we can see by the city up in smoke and rubble in the background

Since we've got Yunho sitting inside a ginormous, shattered Cromer, we can assume either (A) these guys themselves have already traveled through time and alternate realities to get here (which would align with what we see in the iconic Mnet livestage with the red and black outfits) and are now stuck until they found another one to take them back home - wherever that home may be or (B) this entire room is the remainder of the Black Pirates' hideout and the Cromer was destroyed by one of them before they were captured so it wouldn't fall into the hands of the government (which could mean one of them escaped to another reality)

Side-note: We've seen such a gravitational anomaly before during Diary Film after Hongjoong first received the Cromer in the A-World and was alone in the Ateez hideout

Side-note 2: You can find my theory on why a Cromer may be intentionall shattered by someone who understands its powers here)

Going by the lyrics, they've already been here long before the Revolution and used to live as regular citizens in Strictland before they had their microchips removed by the Black Pirates - I'm largely basing that on the iconic "No more, keep control" and "No more, keep your soul" -> they want to be in charge of their own lives, to feel and have free thought as opposed to the mindless drones the chips had forced them to be

Another thing worthy of noting is that, as the bell rings, we can see Seonghwa glitch which could have several meanings: they've got hologram technology which helps them make public appearances in the daytime more safely OR (given the ominous vibes of the sound and the association with the bell) they're either not fully human (which would also explain the post-production added CGI glint we see in Jongho's eye at two separate points in the MV) or otherwise existing in this world on borrowed time.

Alternatively, the bell could also indicate that our protaganists are more powerful at certain points in time and this is a visualization of that power. As the moon phases affect the Cromer, they may also affect them.

Regarding the Black Pirate outfits we're seeing throughout the video: our protagonists here were freed by them, alongside all the other people we get to see in the plaza and abandoned mall, but without Ateez's help, they didn't manage to stay undetected so the government either captured or straight-up murdered them

Left behind and without guidance while everyone is praying for the Black Pirates return (see: the Prologue), our protagonists have now stepped up and are rebuilding the movement - though whether they're burning the Black Pirates' outfits as a funeral ritual, out of frustration and anger due to feeling abandoned... or because the tattered clothes were strung up that way by the government to scare off further acts of rebellion Vlad-the-Impaler style which would make this a symbol of defiance, is unclear

Regardless, many of the other citizens who were freed seem willing to join their cause and their current mission seems to be to take down this anti-gravity orb

I can only make a rather baseless guess as to what the purpose of these things is but since it's actively rising here, it seems to be something newly installed that's meant to rise above city-level

The central government presumably built and installed it so maybe it can send out some kind of pulse or signal to regain control over the population - after all, the chips seem to have only had the link cut but weren't removed so re-establishing the link could be possible as long as the hardware wasn't fully fried (which would've probably needed harsher, more painful for the skin interference but what the heck do I know about this world's technological advances)

Either way, to me, that would explain both the fear in the lyrics about returning to their prior state of being pre-awakening, as well as why San was so ready to risk it all to break this thing

Either way, we've got Yeosang bringing in the chains to tie this thing up

Based on the skyline compared to the one from the prologue, it seems like the thick smoke pillars might be originating from the crash sites of the other orbs which would mean they already brought down all the other ones successfully and have now reached their last stop

They wrap the chains around the orb, tie it up all nice and neatly (which must've been a pain in the ass to do since that thing is floating in mid air, makes lightweight shit in its vicinity float and is well, the shape of a super smooth ball) and all start pulling together up until everyone seemingly leaves San to finish the job by himself

To me, there could be multiple reasons for this: (1) it was always part of the plan (highly unlikely imo), (2) everyone but San lost hope this was gonna work out since they're already exhausted af from doing this several times before and don't seem to have made all that much progress and maybe they think they've already done enough since this is seemingly the last orb left, (3) San convinced everyone to leave as they were working/everyone but him got too scared to continue because Android Guardians or another government entity were underway and would've killed or captured them if they were caught

Either way, it all ends with the orb evaporating the moment it collides with San as if his existence somehow canceled out the orb's. While this is very likely to be a creative decision since no one wants to see this human embodiment of sunshine get crushed to death, it could also mean San is still alive if he possesses abilities that go beyond a regular human's or if the orb isn't made up of regular matter/material.

Moving on to the Prologue and Epilogue:

Aside from what I already covered, there are also quite a few other things I want to bring up regarding what we get to see in these two bonus videos, starting with the numbers behind Hongjoong in the Prologue here (which were also pointed out by him in the Making Of video)

You can put these numbers (22152984) and decode them with A1Z26 in which case you'd get this (yes, I still use the Gravity Falls: Break the Code website for this kinda stuff - I refuse to be judged for it):

While this is rather nonsensical, it is quite close to "Bluebird" which would fit the lyrics but it's still just a lil bit unsatisfying since, properly encoded, it should have been "2-12-21-5-2-9-18-4", meaning they forgot a "1" twice.

Regardless, I couldn't find anything better - it can't be coordinates, there's no cypher like this for Hangul that I could find, and using Base64 only gets you "my8" which doesn't make too much sense but Ateez are 8 members so that's nice, I guess.

The first thing that pops up in my search results when I look up the numbers is "Buy 22152984 from Oxygen Electronics" by the way - shout out to life support machine parts you can order online (no affiliation, though I do hope they're an ethical company)

Regarding the numbers, I'll leave it at that for now but if I ever find something that makes more sense, I'll update this!

Ah yes, the mysterious blonde person that pops up toward the end of the Prologue and disappears in the blink of an eye as someone walks past

Seonghwa is the only one who takes note of them and, based on his neutral expression, it doesn't seem to be the first time he's seen them

Are they the Witness? I do think so but we'll come back to it in a moment.

Skipping ahead to the Prologue uploaded yesterday, we're opening with a shot of the bluebird we've already gotten to see in the Prologue and which has also been referenced in the lyrics - it's a symbol of reclaiming freedom, of escaping your shackles, of finding your voice and using it. They've now made it. They've chosen freedom. They've chosen to fight.

The bird's path now guides Seonghwa through the abandoned mall where the orb was brought down and San was sacrificed. It whistles a lil tune and disappears near a lone white-clad figure we've seen before.

Last seen among a small group on the rooftop at the end of the MV, our blondie stands by themselves again, though the others aren't far as we'll soon see

Since the mission is now over, Seonghwa let's his curiosity win and follows the figure up a dark staircase, letting his flashlight guide him

He finds the group of four from the rooftop standing in a dark room against the backdrop of the smoking skyline behind the large windows - they were waiting for him

A white flash, rolling thunder and they're gone. Just like after Yeosang broke the Cromer, we also got to witness the Cromer's powers here. This marks the third Cromer, meaning these four are from yet another reality and they've now become Witnesses of our protagonists' achievements.

They also left behind a departing gift: a silver bracelet engraved with the words "Be Free"

Like A-World's Seonghwa, it seems the blonde Witness has also gotten inspired by their world's version of the dancing girl (whom I theorize to be Left Eye's daughter) and they've now left behind this bracelet, hoping it'll inspire this world's Seonghwa the way it inspired them