#our ADHD brains go together so well lol

[justhereforeskel]

Christmas Dino V1

Okay so there was this post and my brain latched onto the idea.

Christmas Dino! Way cooler than a tree, easier to store and no stupid pine needles everywhere.

We're super close the holidays so this year will be V1 - with plans for embedding lights and possibly engraving designs next year with more time.

So with like -2 planning skills and +5 to ADHD hyperfocus, off we go. The goal is if I chronicle this, maybe it'll keep me from getting distracted. HA.

Day 1:

Okay so the plan is to pick a dino, find a basic pattern, and then figure out how big to size it up so it fits on our tree table (aka the dining room table because we don't use it).

As much as I really wanted to do a Stegosaurus, the issue is that with the restriction of the table size, I'd be looking at a fairly small dino. Also, we want to keep our tree topper - a modified Heroes of the Storm Tyreal figure - and an bipedal dino allows for more hilarious possibilities for how to mount him on top.

So t-rex it is. I found a pattern online after a bit of Googling - it's low rez as hell, but I'm going to have to redraw it anyway to properly size the joints so no big deal.

Next step - Measure the table, and then maths to figure out how big to scale it Naw, we're going by vibes. Slap the pattern into MS Paint, scale it 300%, print it, reassemble, cut it out of cardboard and test the size.

(Just FYI in case someone isn't aware, because I wasn't - if you ever need to print something over multiple pages, MS Paint does it for freeeeeeee. Otherwise the only other option I know of that actual works decently well is Adobe Acrobat but you need the stupid CC sub for that feature. So to hell with Adobe, MS Paint ftw!)

This is gonna be so much easier than maths. Yup.

There were two pages of pattern pieces, each page ended up being 16 pages once pushed to 300%. Yay for laser printer speeds (seriously so happy we finally bit the bullet on one - this would have been objectively painful on an inkjet)

Popped Fantasia on in the background to began assembly!

Once assembled, cutting begins and a few songs later, we've got a pile of pattern pieces!

Luckily my ADHD brain has forgetten to put out the cardboard for the last like month and half on recycle day, so I've got a solid IKEA box to cut (most) of the pattern out.

(There's a few ribs that had to be done on another box, but they're not technically structurally significant so that's okay.)

Traced and numbered everything (mostly), and then we cut out!

I would like to note two things at this point:

This is all taking place in my living room, on my coffee table and my floor. I have a decently sized full on craft room and table JUST FOR THIS KIND OF THING but no. On the floor we go. At almost 40. My lower back has not forgiven me yet.

Since the IKEA cardboard is thick, I figure using my flip out utility knife is going to be the easiest tool for cutting. This is both correct and wrong. The knife is sharp and gets through the layers no problem HOWEVER it is a utility knife designed for more single quick use on a work site. It's got a rough texture and bolts and a belt hook. (Google Milwaukee utility knife and you'll see...) So by the end of this I've got a blister at the bottom of my middle finger that's popped, and several more on my finger tips that I notice as soon as I start typing.

TL;DR I'm dumb and injured myself in ENTIRELY PREVENTABLE WAYS.

But! I've got t-rex bones now!

It's assembly tiiiiiiiime!

Okay so cardboard isn't the most sturdy, and my boy cannot hold himself up on his spindly little cardboard legs. But still! He's the perfect size! A little wall for support and he's all set! Aiden really didn't want cooperate with requests to be used as a scale model, so Tali jumped in because she's the goodest girl 💜

Alright, so we've got our size (sort of) and a pattern. Success! Next steps:

Figure out if we need to modify the head in any way to accommodate Tyreal

Determine the best pattern layout for the sizes of wood sheets available

Make an actual file of the pattern that isn't a blurry PNG so we can pull it into Lightburn

ONWARD!

For reference, here's our Tyreal - he deserves an epic t-rex to ride

Part 2

[bunniekittiee]

Which Plushie Dreadfuls Mental Health Collection Rabbits I think the TCM characters would have:

Bubba Sawyer:

Bubba would definitely have the Anxiety Disorder Rabbit.

Our lovely Junior worries very much. But it’s not just the regular worrying, it’s extremely intense.

Sometimes he gets it out of nowhere with nothing, sometimes there’s reasoning behind it, it just depends.

Makes him physically ill and it gets hard to focus.

Sissy will try to make him as many teas and scents to ease his nausea but it does not alleviate it.

He is comforted that she is trying to help, but it does not help him much.

Has thrown up a lot.

Sometimes it gets so bad, he sits in bed sweating, feeling like death, and very sick.

Drayton tells him that he needs to man up but Johnny tells the Cook to lay off of Bubba.

Bubba can’t control his anxiety, he’s not expected to by his other family.

He learns to live with it and cope.

Chop Top Sawyer:

Chop Top would have the Sleep Paralysis rabbit.

I believe that Chop Top suffers from sleep paralysis very frequently, even before he went to Nam.

Sometimes he sees funny things, but most of the time it is not very good.

A lot of it to him seems demonic, he’s had whispers of another language in his ear during sleep paralysis.

He doesn’t really understand why it’s him that has to deal with this, but he tries to manage it.

He has asked the others if they have sleep paralysis, but they don’t.

If it’s bad, he loses sleep and can be very tired in the morning which throws him off completely.

When in sleep paralysis, it gets hard for him to breathe because of the weight on his chest.

Nubbins has walked in on him during sleep paralysis and has tried to help him by trying to wake his body up.

Chop Top can’t communicate during sleep paralysis so he just stares at Nubbins and the weird creature thing that’s lingering over him.

Nubbins tells him that no one is there and that he is seeing things.

It comforts Chop Top knowing that the butt-fuck ugly entity that is standing over him is not real and Nubbins can see that it’s not real.

Nubbins Sawyer:

Nubbins would have the ADHD Rabbit.

I think this is kind of obvious, I believe Nubbins is very impulsive and forgetful.

He has dealt with this since he was a kid and Drayton never got him medicated.

Does not know how to manage it, sometimes he feels like his brain or heart is going to explode because of how fast they are going.

When it comes to killing or making things, he is definitely locked into it and will do it with no problem.

But any other tasks, he struggles to remember and it is difficult to keep him engaged.

Nubbins is very hyper and will stay up for long periods of time.

If he stays up for days straight, he also sleeps for a long time as well.

Drayton wishes he would have gotten Nubbins medicated but he knows that he can’t do much about it now.

They just hope that a victim will have Adderall on them so Nubbins does not have to suffer like he does.

Johnny Slaughter:

The one I think 99.9% of you were waiting for lol.

I believe Johnny, taking into consideration the personality we have pieced together for him based upon his bio, has the Borderline Personality Disorder Rabbit.

Now hear me out.

I think Johnny does get overwhelmed with his emotions. His moods can change very quickly depending on his interactions with other people.

As a result, it can affect how he feels and if he wants to kill them.

Sometimes he is very hard to read because he has learned to mask this.

But if you look hard enough, when he smiles there are little to no emotions behind his eyes.

Most people tend to miss this and that’s why they end up on the dinner table because they don’t know to avoid him.

Nancy told Johnny that his biological mother abandoned him for her own selfish reasons, but the Lord made sure Johnny went into her hands.

This haunted the Slaughter boy. He became afraid of abandonment.

So if he were to keep a victim, his main worry would be that they would leave him.

He has very tumultuous relationships. They are extremely unstable and his intense mood shifts can affect the other person greatly.

When he’s angry, his anger can be aimed at no one in particular. But he will still take it out on them.

Can have depressive episodes but tries to work through it because he has things he needs to do, but it gets difficult.

Drayton sometimes worries for him when he sees the dark bags under Johnny’s eyes and the empty look in his eyes. Then he knows it’s bad.

Sissy Sawyer:

Sissy would have the Disassociation Disorder Rabbit.

She has a hard time recalling childhood memories because she disconnected very often.

Very frequently she feels as if she is watching herself from an outside perspective.

She does not feel like herself, she feels like a walking zombie attempting to look like a functioning human being.

It affects her moods, she will completely stay out of conversations and if she has to talk, she doesn’t realize what she’s really talking about.

She just feels like she’s just moving her mouth and speaking another language.

Sissy spaces out a lot and sometimes she does this when she is busy with tasks.

Bubba can read that look in her eyes that shows that she is just a vessel, Sissy is not really there.

He tries to help her, he won’t talk to her because he knows that it is hard for her to form words, but his presence is enough.

He will take over her chores and shoo her away to rest.

She can remember a few things about her time with the Manson Cult, but she can’t recall everything.

When she tries to remember, it just looks like a blur.

And it feels like there are many missing pieces to her memories.

Drayton Sawyer:

This rabbit is still under development.

However, Drayton would have the Intermittent Explosive Disorder Rabbit.

He suffers from extreme amounts of unwarranted anger and will take it out on his family.

Sometimes there are no particular reasons for it.

He can easily slip into an episode and it turns the household upside down until he calms down.

He will abuse his brothers and nephew, smacking them with the broom or hitting them with his fist.

Even the smallest events can trigger his anger and afterwards he feels horrible.

He knows that there was no reason for all the extra shit he did, and he knows he pissed off the whole household with his behavior.

Johnny tries to empathize (funny coming from him) with Drayton with the explosive anger and emotions.

He understands, but he wishes that his uncle could manage it better.

Because beating the shit out of Chop Top with a belt because he didn’t set the plates out is extremely out of place and unfair.

Alright, I did not want to get things wrong with the disorders i named so if I messed up im v sorry. Some of it is from what I have experienced, Sissy and Johnny to be specific (don’t suffer from either disorder ofc but I have felt some disassociation before and I have intense mood shifts) so I tried to describe it from my personal experience too. Anyways, I thought this would be fun to do!

[lgbtlunaverse]

I think i need to explain why this line makes me go so feral

I think the "fine! I'll kill myself after I kill you" line from nie mingjue in chapter 49 permanently altered my brain chemistry and it has something to do with precisely how i got into the mdzs fandom space in the first place.

I've mentioned it a few times but i started watching the untamed in late 2019 right as it was blowing up everywhere and, likely due to a combination of undiagnosed adhd wrecking my ability to be interested in anything for longer than 4 seconds and me very much not being used to the specific style of acting, especially during fightscenes, i never finished it. The only concrete memory i have of it is seeing wen qing's face and meng ziyi completely short circuiting my little gay brain. I remember more of staring endlessly at pictures of her than I remember of the plot. Press F to pay respects.

Flash forward a few years and a friend recommends me a fic writer for an fma fic (the fic riter in question is metisket) and i like their stlye so much i decide to read other stuf they've written. Here we get to our prime suspect: "the one body problem" a genuinely hilarious fic where jingyi gets posessed by wei wuxian like a year before the plot happens and they become awkward brain buddies. 10/10 i loved it (and still do) even though i remember huasiang showing up in my first reading and I, having fully forgotten his name, had no fucking clue what was going on. (Little did i know...)

Anyway flash forward ANOTHER year and I decide to reread that fic, and then the other untamed fic metisket wrote, a wen qing time travel fix it that's also real fun. And then i'm like. huh. that's fun. wonder if there's anything in their bookmarks.

And then, within 20 days, I had read approximately 350 fics. Many of them 100k+ words. I cannot stress enough how much this CONSUMED my brain's ability to do or think about anything else. I now think back to the early days of getting my adhd diagnosis and insisted that while i had pretty much all other symptoms, I did not get hyperfixations. Lol. Lmao, even.

I am mainly focused on wangxian and the junior quartet becuase they are my baby ducklings and i love them. I do come across some 3zun fics and I think huh... this is interesting. But the 3zun brainrot is LIGHT at this point.

The thing about reading more than 350 fanfics is that at some point you kind of piece the plot of the source material back together backwards. Especially because my favorite genre was time travel fix its, where characters relive the whole plot and like to make allusions to all the ways everything went wrong last time.

Because I'm still squarely in my wangxian + juniors (plus a heavy dosis of yunmeng sibling reconciliation) corner here... the feelings on jin guangyao in my fandom corner are. different from where I'd end up soon after. He is my special little guy though, so I do kind of immediatley develop a fondness for him, and I approach my 3zun and early nieyao thoughts specifcially from the assumption that the widespread opinion is that nie mingjue is a fine good guy and jgy is the evil one (I have not seen the bad nmj takes yet. well... I am seeing DIFFERENT bad nmj takes but they're nice to him. In, like, the wrong way. With no solid undertanding of the inherent tragedy at the heart of him that makes him so blorbo to me. But still.) major reactions to the stairs scene as I see them on twitter are "girlboss! He should've kicked him harder 💅"

And the baby jgy apologist in me goes :/ me no likey. And at this point I am also actively seeking out metas and analysis posts so i'm seeing some better opinions than that and getting a halfway solid graps on the themes. wwx and jgy being foils becomes very obvious to me very quickly. So, with my curent understanding of the plot, I go... you know all you people who are like "god i wish nmj would have killed jgy sooner" it uhh... kinda sounds like he'd have died if he did that. If he'd killed him before meng yao had gone off to spy there is a very big chance they'd have lost the sunshot campaign and most of the main cast would be dead. If he'd killed him at the stairs that's... well that's killing your sworn brother, which by the canon's own admission is a universally reviled crime, and jin guangshan could easily take advantage of this by demanding nmj's head in retribution, since he already wanted to get rid of him anyway. He doesn't give a fuck about a-yao of course but he could pretend well enough that he does. And what leg would nmj have to stand on? The jin clan is canonically both willing and able to slaughter entire clans for the murder or attempted murder of the leader or his family, and nie mingjue is the kinda guy who'd immediately offer himself up if it meant the rest of his clan would be spared.

This combined with jin guangyao specifcally dying for his murder of nie mingjue, with huaisang basically not caring much about everything else he does and wanting to get revenge only for his brother, it gives nieyao a sort of mutual doomed soulmates feel. For either of them, killing the other would spell death for themselves. They either both die or they both live, one cannot live on without the order. That's crunchy. I like it.

The fire palace though? well, on meng yao's part there is a real argument that if he'd let nmj get killed immediatly instead of dragging it out he wouldn't have been able to get wrh alone and distracted enough to assasinate him, so that's one half of the mutual doom coin, and if nmj had killed him during their fight there he's also done for. But after? Right before Xichen intervenes? I had no answer for that yet.

(You know what's coming. I did not)

It is at this point that i realize that if this is gonna keep being A Thing then i need to read the source material before I catch fatal fanon poisoning. Yes, I can piece together the plot and themes from seeing what stays consistent across fics and what are the author's own opinons. But I know just as well that sometimes fanon just agrees on shit that didn't happen and treats it like canon, and I have no way of knowing which is which. So I start reading the novel.

And of course, eventually I get to the empathy sequence. And remember, my "nieyao both live or both die" theory is heavy on my mind at this point, and the only stickler is that nmj could sort of have killed meng yao after the confrontation with wrh, still believing meng yao was actually working for him, and not a spy, and get off... not scott-free, Xichen won't be happy, but it's not gonna cost him his life.

And then I read THIS.

Please Imagine dropping a whole block of pure elemental sodium into water. Except the sodium is this quote and the water is my poor little delicate brain. Not only is my theory right, it is ten times more unhinged than i thought it was.

And considering that Nie Mingjue does not seem like the kind of guy who'd consider something like a life debt to have an expiration date, and because after this he will link himself legally and socially to jin guangyao as family and declare that one among their brotherhood turning against the others is to be met with a painful death, I can no longer read the scene at the stairscase in jinlintai without the impression that he is still planning to die afterwards. Which, if you wanted to make that scene even more painful, this is a very efficient way of losing all your remaining hinges.

I think I'd have gone crazy about this line no matter what context I heard it in, but this one specifically? where I'm already obsessed with idea of nieyao's deaths being connected by the narrative and missing just this one piece and having it confirmed? out loud? from one of the characters himself? It's like giving cocaine to a baby.

[nahualnextdoor]

Character Analysis for Shitpost's Sake (long post; tw suicide discussion):

A funny haha, a whimsy silly image. Something I did in like 10 minutes...

Well behind the scenes I spent an entire night dissecting every episode and book paragraph in my head just to see what box fits what character (I take my silly guys very seriously and my shitposts should represent their characterizations accurately otherwise I'll kill myself).

So, here we go.

Active suicide risk: (literally anyone except Cleo and Six)

-Resus: Pretty obvious and intuitive in my opinion. Our favorite trans allegory emo boy that literally sleeps in a coffin. Hates pretty much every aspect of his life, thinks he's a disappointment to his family simply for existing (and sadly kinda is), and is pretty much fine with death as a whole (most of his friends already went trough it, after all).

-Luke: This one was also pretty obvious in my opinion. While not as clear cut or active as Resus, there was this one time where he decided to banish himself to the Underlands, no hesitation, as soon as he found out (or rather was made to believe) he attacked his parent. He's very often ostracizing himself over his lycanthropy hurting those around him, and for the major part of the book series he believed himself to be a burden for his parents. (Also he has like. Zero sense of self-preservation, at least in the tv show).

-Luella: Oh boy. Where do I begin with you girl. Just her living situation alone is sad enough, add in her attachment issues, her lack of control over her emotions, her crush on a guy that treats her... horribly, and her lack of any meaningful friendship in her life up until she became bffs with Cleo in s2. Honestly I'm just glad that by the end of s2 she's mostly content with her life the way it is, but still... at least on the episodes before she got her shit together, I'd say she's kinda worrying.

-Dixon: Yeah this guy's life is just hell lol. I'm not really getting any suicidal vibes out of him, but it is more than plausible.

10/10:

-Cleo: She's just... I love her 🙏🙏 Badass, one of the most interesting characters of the tv show in my opinion, autistic as fuck (they all are, but she's the one I relate to the most), curses the entire town in order to fix her problems and is pretty much happy despite being in an eternal sisyphean cycle.

Needs to retake the am I gay quiz:

-Resus: self explanatory I think. He really needs to get his shit together because I just cannot tolerate when he's all over Luella "oh luella I need your help with this spell and also brain drain dumped me in a wet cardboard box and killed my grandma 🥺🥺" and then going "well thanks for nothing, fuck u and ur stupid useless magic, also even tho we're nothing I will get all possessive over u at the slightest possibility of u liking Luke hey can we kiss to save the world btw" She deserves so much better than him omg. Boy you're queer!!! Leave her alone and just stay with the werewolf!!!

Cannibalised first in plane crash scenario:

-Resus: I just thought this was funny lol

Adderal prescription ASAP:

-Luke: Also pretty self explanatory. Lycantrophy is the magical equivalent of autism and adhd in this universe, I don't make the rules. Both in the books and in the show he's shown having a hard time focusing on class, finding it easier to just focus on his videogames. He spends hours playing on his console, to the point of ignoring his baisc needs, and is pretty hyperactive in my opinion, at least in the show. Really I wish they'd bring back the idea of Eeafa (or maybe even Luella) figuring out a potion or spell to help him manage his wild side, wich, to me at least, is not only his wolf self, but all of his neurodivergent tendencies in general (basically it would be magical meds that makes you have more control over the wolf form on top helping you study).

Missing person:

-Pretty much all the other kids from the books but I choose Kian because he's kinda the one that has the most relevance and the only one with an available image on the internet that is not a 3 pixels wide scan on the Internet Archive (still love them tho). He could potentially be on active suicide risk once he gets old enough to understand what happened to his parents tho, but thinking about that for more than 5 seconds makes me cry so I prefer not to.

And that is basically it! Thank you for listening to my ramblings and analysis of these silly little guys that keep rotating on my head like rotisserie chicken ballerinas. Next will probably be my still pending character analysis for why I assigned the slimes I did on my slime rancher post.

[ellecdc]

hello my sweet girl!!! how i've missed you! it seems we've both been frequent passengers on the struggle bus for the past couple weeks (hence my absence, this bus has shit wifi) :( i'm sorry that shit's been tough lately, and i hope you are being extra kind and loving to yourself, taking special care to listen to what you need <3. (this goes for everyone, all of you sexy beautiful people in this wonderful community).

anyways time for some random thoughts about our lovely wizards!! that's a need for sure lol.

it's so weird to me that prongsfoot/starbucks/whatever you wanna call james x sirius is such a rare ship? like i love strong male friendships (and also wolfstar b/c duh) but prongsfoot is right there in canon. like the inherent need to always be together. the i will literally die and kill for you mindset. yeah come live at my house please please please. james hates this dude? i do too. i get that they are both a lil hyper but as someone who is also pretty adhd (and also a little shit like they are) i feel like that kind of relationship works really well together, the other person is always able to keep up with your nonlinear train of thought. and sirius x james x lily would be an unstoppable throuple so... heehee (plus reader? ugh).

i also love this recent discussion at how smart all these freaks are. they are all lil geniuses and i would love to be in a room with all these insane brains and talk about nerd shit like physics and the universe and how the mauraders map works etc. dream friendgroup/polycule for real. you think there's a universe where the slytherins and gryffindoors have lil smoke seshes and socratic seminars because i can totally see that shit lol.

lastly, evan supremecy!! i love the slow but steady entrance he has been making (as opposed to the absolute bang of an entrance barty made, kinda fitting for their personalities lol).

anyways i loveee you baby girl! have a lovely rest of your day <33

-ʕ⁠·⁠ᴥ⁠·⁠ʔ

Hahaha hi baby!! Sorry to hear you’re not doing so hot rn.

Also re: prongsfoot, this is an interesting perspective I hadn’t thought of before! I have to admit I’m not sure why I struggle with them as a pair when I sit here and write poly!marauders fics lol! But I hadn’t considered this before that 1) Sirius is probably the only person who can keep up with James and 2) James is the only one Sirius was willing to accept love and help from! Maybe I need to do more playing around with prongsfoot……

Also, sunlilypad???? Love it; I’ve seen thoughts of them raising Harry together and it just melts me every time

The nerdiest bastards around, James is so intuitive and a strategist, Sirius is stupid smart for no good reason other than his brain just holds onto the most random information, Remus searches for knowledge like it’s a lost art like, Barty and his 12 fucking O.W.L’s, Evan looking at everything like it’s a puzzle and his analytic mind, Lily just being the smart beautiful goddess she is, ubdbajdnwisfbwks

Also you’re so right: barty just body slamming into my works and making himself present vs my careful constructive analysis of Evan as a person 😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣😭🤣 idk why I’m so afraid of him! I think cuz there’s even less out there about him than there is Barty so I have less to go off, but I’m afraid to write for him cuz I don’t want to get him wrong!

Glad to have you back babes, hope things settle down for you 🫶

[thewanderer-000]

Grandpa

Music Sunday

Tagged by @cassietrn @cloudofbutterflies92 @carlosoliveiraa @simplegenius042 I can't remember who has tagged me in a music thing, this was something I wrote that had music kinda involved. My severe ADHD itdn't focused at the moment lol or hasn't been focused for a long while, actually it's a bit of a roller-coaster in the creative department lol

Deputy Penelope Thompson sat tying her shoe getting ready to leave after her one of her many flings with Jacob. Penelope couldn't help it but hum the song she had stuck in her head, Jacob looked at her wondering what was the song. It sounded familiar but he couldn't place it for the life of him, definitely wasn't something he's heard in long, long time.

"Did daddies really never go away?

Whoa, whoa, grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days

Whoa, whoa, grandpa, tell me 'bout the good old days" Penelope sang as she fastened her bullet proof vest, she heard me roll on to my side to hear her better.

"Hm, what is that?" I asked, Penelope looked confused like she forgot what she was singing. She pulled a t-shirt over covering her vest, Pen looked around my office room like she'd find the name here. Cute, she's kinda forgetful.

"I don't remember the name but the tune and some lyrics are in my head at the moment" she says have finally given up on remembering the song and artist.

"Pen, you know you looked cute trying to find the answer in this room, still waking up angel" I tease, she gave an eye roll and turned away.

"Whatever, big talk from a man sitting naked in bed still" I swat at her ass, Penelope giggled, I pulled her by the pants pocket to sit on my bed.

"How about you sing more of that song, well, what you remember?" She looked at me annoyed but also like she was trying to focus on the lyrics.

"Uh, that's all I remember, unfortunately" Penelope assured me with a little smirk on her lips, lips that I wanted to kiss, so I did. She immediately pulled away.

"I have to go, Eli has me busy with the resistance, remember" I gather her in my arms and nod no as I continue to keep her.

"Mmm, Jacob. Mmm-I, mm-have-to-mmm-Ja-" I have her on my lap and she doesn't try to leave again, I have her where I want. Til she pulled away quickly with a little excited look on her face as she nestled into me.

"Hey, what-"

"It's a Judds song, uh- Grandpa! You don'tknow how long that was plaguing me not remembering the artist and song" she said happily, relief on her face.

"Do you fall in love and stay?" I sing remembering that one part of the song, Penelope rolled her eyes and laughed.

"Shut up. You're cute, you know that?" She giggled and kissed my forehead and tried to leave again.

"Not happening. I worked so hard and come to find out I had time to lay back for a day or so you are staying here" I say holding her to me, she laughed and lay against me.

"Oh, well if that's how I get a naked Jacob why not say sooner" she said slipping her hands under her clothes to take off her bullet proof vest. I let her then she got it off and tossed it away, and got comfortable with me.

"Hm, you like this old naked bod?" I question, Penelope softly smacked my arm, and made a noise that I chuckled at.

"Don't say a derogatory word about my babe" she said and looked at me with little angry eyes, and I laughed at her cute face.

"You're sweet on me, I think too long in this shit pit of a bunker may have warped your lovely brain there darlin'" I teased, and she bite me but it was hot, so I slap her beautiful butt, she stopped to laugh.

"I don't think so" she just kissed my face a moment and lay back down, cuddling me, enjoying our time together.

"But I do have to go get someone to cover my shift if I'm going to be here with you, instead of occupying the shooting range" I sigh but smile and release Penelope, but not before trying to keep her on top of me. She kisses my forehead, her hands holding me still and then push me into the bed as she jumps off me.

"I'll be back Big Daddy Jake Cakes" Penelope says casually before she leaves my room making my face & ears hot and beet red. This woman will be the death of me, but I can't wait for her to get back.

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

May I request a BG3 matchup?

30; afab agender; rampantly bisexual. Medical lab tech (not the cool kind), about to start grad school for forensic biology. I collect postcards and preserved specimens, and raise tarantulas + other bugs. Enjoy making nature journals, birdwatching, puzzles, music, theatre, museums, analyzing horror media, building models, working with clay, writing, reading, and board games (though I get a bit too competitive). Great in the kitchen. Autistic/ADHD. Get sensory overloaded easily. Love meeting people but mostly wish I could exist invisibly and not speak. Chronic pain limits physical activities. Most content during stormy days with candles and coffee, baking or doing a jigsaw puzzle with the windows open and music playing. Think I'm unattractive and obnoxious. OCD + bipolar dictate a lot of my brain. Tendency to word vomit and have difficulty articulating off of paper. Complain a lot and can be passive aggressive. But also like to see people happy and taken care of, and want to leave things better than I find them when possible.

A/N: Alright Tarantula Anon, since you mentioned you’re bisexual, but didn’t state a gender preference, I’ve picked out the best matches- one male and one female for you.

Your best Baldur’s Gate 3 Matches would be Astarion (Male) and Minthara (Female)!

➶ Astarion is also a character I would characterize as “rampantly bisexual” (or pansexual to be more specific in his case lol). Gender presentation isn’t something he factors into attractiveness. If he likes you, he likes you. If he thinks you’re hot, he thinks you’re hot, etc. You get the idea.

Being an immortal vampire, Astarion knows a thing or two about biology. Mainly about how to remain undetected among the human population. In the game, he explains how he never smells like a typical vampire or vampire’s den because he makes a point to scent himself with a mix of fragrances. And while he may not be a medical professional, he’s certainly had his fair share of anatomy lessons, be it distant viewings at the food of Cazador, from the many creatures he’s been forced to seduce. It’s not an exact equivalent, but I do believe he would be fascinated by the kind of work you do regarding live and preserved specimens.

And while I don’t think he’s a bug person (mainly because they were his one source of nutrition for so many years), I think he could be taught to appreciate them over time. Perhaps you could show him how all creatures, even small ones, are incredibly unique and have their own role within our vast universe. It’s humbling to think we are all so incredibly tiny and yet vastly important to the people around us.

There’s so much he’s missed out on experiencing, I think he’d quite like doing any of those activities with you: birdwatching, solving puzzles, listening to music, going to the theater or the museum, tinkering, making ceramics, writing, or reading, or playing board games… Anything! Everything! He especially enjoys the competitive nature of your games. He finds he quite likes the feeling of winning, and he plans on doing it more often. Don’t worry though, he’ll play fair. Well, fair for him, anyway.

He cannot eat so he doesn’t get to fully appreciate your kitchen prowess. But he does enjoy helping you cook. It’s strangely comforting for him to do something so domestic. It’s in moments like those, that he can see the rest of your lives together playing out.

Similarly to you, Astarion loves meeting new people. Or at least he thinks he does. So much of his extroversion was a facade, he’s not certain what part of his people skills are him and which parts were survival. So he needs time in between, away from crowds and strangers to calm down and recharge. He’s grateful that you often tug him away, reminding him to excuse the two of you before either one of you gets too overwhelmed.

He may not be a magic user, but he does what he can to support you in managing your chronic pain. He’ll get Halsin or Shadowheart or even Gale to lessen some of your symptoms. He doesn’t try to cure your condition, nor does he expect you to cure his. However, if finding a more permanent solution to your pain is something you’d want, he’s more than ready to take that journey with you.

He doesn’t think for a second that you’re obnoxious. And trust him on that. He’s met some of the most obnoxious, overwhelmingly annoying magistrates and lords in his first life. He assures you constantly: that you are nothing like them. You’re smart and kind and beautiful. Even if you can’t see it, he sees it for you. Astarion knows what it’s like to live with a body (and by extension a brain) that tells you you’re never good enough. There are still moments when he can’t see himself in a mirror for example, when he thinks of himself as a monster. He’s so grateful you’re there to comfort him and tell him otherwise.

His favorite thing in the world is to cuddle with you next to a large bay window, watching nighttime thunderstorms roll in, a book in his lap and you beside him.

☾ Minthara is often characterized as closed-off and cold. Which you could argue is true. Or you could see it as her being logical, and protective of herself and her heart. She is a drow, and by nature, well accustomed to the more gruesome side of human nature. She feels at home surrounded by macabre, whereas others may be disturbed. I think she’d find your work fascinating. And spiders are something she knows a lot about. Drows and spiders go hand in hand. She sees tarantulas as the perfect pet, they’re small enough to be contained but large enough to have personalities and be something incredible to watch.

She especially enjoys reading horror stories with you or visiting theaters or museums with horror exhibits. Perhaps one about ancient methods of torture- now that would tickle her fancy. And she appreciates your wit and candor when it comes to playing games or solving puzzles with you. So few people treasure such traits in a companion, but not her. She knows how important it is to have a discerning significant other, especially if you are going to be spending any time in the Underdark with her, where being perceptive is a must for survival. She loves your cooking. As a drow noble, she was familiar with the concepts of fancy feasts and indulgent desserts. However, due to her position, she could never truly enjoy them, for fear of being poisoned by enemies. With you doing the meal-making, she doesn't have to worry about that anymore.

Unlike you, however, Minthara is not that fond of meeting other people. She much prefers the two of you keep to yourselves unless otherwise necessary. People are tiring, and so often unimportant. She sees no need to waste her time and social graces on them. You’re the one she loves. If she’s going to do something with anyone or make an effort, it’s going to be for you and you alone.

She used to think admitting pain was weak, now however, she knows it takes an inner as well as outer strength. She will go to whatever length to ensure your comfort. Simply say the word and she will get it for you. In seeing your survival, Minthara has developed a great admiration for you as a person, seeing how resilient you are. That being said, she will not tolerate you speaking poorly of yourself. You are wonderful. You are strong in mind and spirit. You are intelligent and wise. You are gorgeous. You mean everything to her. She will not hear you put yourself down. She would not choose an unworthy mate, so do not think for a second that you are not deserving of her love and affection.

But by all means, do complain. The world can be so frivolous and pedestrian. She enjoys having someone who not only accepts hearing her own complaints but joins in with their own as well. You can be passive-aggressive in your grievances because she is extremely direct. If something bothers you, she’ll simply ask you if you wish her to kill it. And no she doesn’t care if that’s morally wrong, because for you, she would move heaven and earth if it made you happy.

She is fiercely loyal and now that she is your loving partner, you cannot shake her. She is utterly and wholly devoted to you.

[my-autism-adhd-blog]

Ello! Do you have any idea of how autism correlates with food? Like I know we tend to be picky eaters, but is there something about craving more sugar than the average person? Or do I just have a very sweet tooth lmao, thank you! Have a nice day! /Lh

Hi there,

Sorry I just got to this. I also have a sweet tooth and can eat an entire box of lofthouse cookies. Lol. I didn’t find some interesting information from an article. Here are some excerpts:

“Sugar cravings and Autism Spectrum Disorder (ASD) - two things that shouldn't go together, but often do. Have you ever wondered why cravings exist in the first place? Well, it all starts with cells in our body sending signals to our brain, asking for food. And it's not just our own cells, but also the microbes that reside within us.

These tiny organisms have a big influence on our cravings, especially when they all have a sweet tooth. Microbes outnumber human cells by tenfold, and if they all prefer sugar, you can bet your cravings will be off the charts.”

“Research has shown that Autistic Children tend to have less diverse communities of gut microbes compared to neurotypical children. And we know that a healthy gut is crucial for healing Autism. So, how do we improve gut health? Well, it starts with the right kind of food.

Foods that require a community of microbes to digest, like complex fibres and prebiotics, are essential. On the other hand, foods that can be easily digested by a single strain of yeast or bacteria, such as sugar, contribute to an unhealthy gut.”

The full article will be below:

Here’s a discussion thread. Other than that, all the information I found was about food insecurities. I hope this helps answer you’re question. Thank you for the inbox. I hope you have a wonderful day/night. ♥️

[littlemoon320]

It's Been a While...

Not sure if anyone even reads my posts, nor does it matter, but I feel like this will help me to kind of type everything out. And I am totally just going to be rambling about random shit that has happened in my life lately, so pay no attention to me or my ADHD brain LOL!

Not sure if I ever made a post about it over the past 2 years...but I'm a mom now! She will be a year old on June 18th...God how fast time has gone. She is a chunky ball of sunshine and is legit the best thing that has ever happened to me. I know a lot of mothers say this, because for a lot of us, it's true. Children completely change your entire life and she did exactly that. She saved me. Such a cliché thing to say, but it's true.

In 2019 my grandpa passed away and I went through the most traumatic breakup I've ever dealt with in my life. Then in 2020, my dad passed away and I went through another soul crushing breakup. Also dealt with a lot of SA and loss of a lot of "friendships", none of which were my fault, but that doesn't make it hurt any less. If anything, it hurts more because I did all I could for these people and still got hurt. All I knew was loss for the longest time. Then in October of 2022, my whole world was flipped right side up. Even though her father & I are not together anymore, I'll always be thankful for him for at least giving her to me. That's about the only good thing he did for me. As shitty as that sounds.

She is the most beautiful little soul too! Never cries, unless she's hurt or is fighting sleep in her crib. Sleeps through the whole night. Is always smiling and laughing. LOVES Miss Rachel, rightfully so. Is so sweet with our family pets. And is my shadow, which I love. I'll be washing dishes or just be doing my own thing...then all of the sudden I feel her tap my leg or hug my leg to get my attention. I'll pick her up, she'll hug me and then wants back down and just goes back to playing with her toys. It's like she knows when I'm in my head and wants to remind me that she's there and loves me. And I've never known unconditional love until her...so the fullness I feel from her is insane.

I've spent majority of my life thinking the only way people would like me was if I was doing something for them. Whether it was favors, financial help, a place to stay, sexual favors, etc...my worth was based on OTHER PEOPLE for so long. I lost myself. And now I'm so full of love that sometimes I don't know what to do with it. For the first time in my life, I'm okay with being completely single. Not talking to anyone, seeing anyone, sleeping with anyone. The thought of being romantic with a man makes me physically sick, which I'm sure I can thank trauma for that one as well. But I also just don't want anything or anyone taking my time away from her or from better our life together. We just moved into a new home and are finally all settled, I've paid off my debts and have actually been able to catch up on all my bills, I have a fridge full of food and there isn't a single thing that she needs that I don't have or am able to provide for her on my own. Which is an amazing feeling.

I struggled for so long...it's nice to be able to take a deep breath and realize just how truly blessed I am. And all because of you, my sweet Lydia. Thank you for healing me without even knowing it. I love you so much my sweet girl. <3

[roleplayfinder]

/// he him, 20, 20+ only, queer bipoc ///

—🖤 hey! my name is sluuze, and i’m here in hopes of finding someone to write League of Legends stuff with! specifically heartsteel/music vers ngl—the brainrot is so strong. but first, please keep these in mind!:

important to note (ooc): i will be sporadic with rp replies bc “my brain doesn’t fucking work” (adhd), life is inane, etc (ooc interaction is simpler—i love chatting n rp talk ooc!!). i also usually default at novella, but for reasons as mentioned above, i can only provide shortform to semi-lit atm </3 i am also still very new to LoL and am still getting a grasp on the lore. so pls, go easy on me 💀

overall pls be patient and understanding, and i will be for you as well ofc!

here are the characters im looking to write! muses: aphelios, yone, ekko, ezreal, hwei, (kinda sorta maybe) kayn

and here are the pairings im hoping to write stuff for—bold is who i would prefer to write! ships: settphel, ezko, kayone, kaynphel willing to try different pairings with aphelios, yone, and hwei! (mxm only pls)

verses: og verse/runeterra (settphel) spiritblossom vers (settphel) heartsteel/“music vers” (settphel, ezko, kayone, kaynphel) if you have any ideas please do tell me!! i’m totally down to hear out other ideas and or brainstorm something together (:

writing style:

3rd person, usually novella but for the time being shortform to semi-lit length

exclusively writing on discord with a private server for our rp

love having multiple threads

love having full investment—tons of headcanons for our characters and the pairings, discussing other potential scenarios for them, playlists, etc etc. just getting real immersed and hyped for our characters n rp!

looking for:

nsfw involvement is a must/highly preferred !

being open to dark themes: gritty settings, action/violence, depressing/dark situations/elements, deaddove to an extent. [absolutely NO “proship” type shit] we will discuss limits of course!!

cool with t4t and/or trans male character headcanons and such like that (ok with erp involvement also)!

overall lookin for someone who's just as inane for this shit as i am <3

/// i think that’s all? if you’re interested hmu on discord “@ sluuze”!! ///

sluuze

[canonrpfinder]

/// he him, 20, 20+ only, queer bipoc ///

—🖤 hey! my name is sluuze, and i’m here in hopes of finding someone to write League of Legends stuff with! specifically heartsteel/music vers ngl—the brainrot is so strong. but first, please keep these in mind!:

important to note (ooc): i will be sporadic with rp replies bc “my brain doesn’t fucking work” (adhd), life is inane, etc (ooc interaction is simpler—i love chatting n rp talk ooc!!). i also usually default at novella, but for reasons as mentioned above, i can only provide shortform to semi-lit atm </3 i am also still very new to LoL and am still getting a grasp on the lore. so pls, go easy on me 💀

overall pls be patient and understanding, and i will be for you as well ofc!

here are the characters im looking to write! muses: aphelios, yone, ekko, ezreal, hwei, (kinda sorta maybe) kayn

and here are the pairings im hoping to write stuff for—bold is who i would prefer to write! ships: settphel, ezko, kayone, kaynphel willing to try different pairings with aphelios, yone, and hwei! (mxm only pls)

verses: og verse/runeterra (settphel) spiritblossom vers (settphel) heartsteel/“music vers” (settphel, ezko, kayone, kaynphel) if you have any ideas please do tell me!! i’m totally down to hear out other ideas and or brainstorm something together (:

writing style:

3rd person, usually novella but for the time being shortform to semi-lit length

exclusively writing on discord with a private server for our rp

love having multiple threads

love having full investment—tons of headcanons for our characters and the pairings, discussing other potential scenarios for them, playlists, etc etc. just getting real immersed and hyped for our characters n rp!

looking for:

nsfw involvement is a must/highly preferred !

being open to dark themes: gritty settings, action/violence, depressing/dark situations/elements, etc. we will discuss limits of course!!

cool with t4t and/or trans male character headcanons and such like that (ok with erp involvement also)!

overall lookin for someone who's just as inane for this shit as i am <3

/// i think that’s all? if you’re interested hmu on discord “@ sluuze”!! ///

✒

[findroleplay]

/// he him, 20, 20+ only, queer bipoc ///

—🖤 hey! my name is sluuze, and i’m here in hopes of finding someone to write League of Legends stuff with! specifically heartsteel/music vers ngl—the brainrot is so strong. but first, please keep these in mind!:

important to note (ooc): i will be sporadic with rp replies bc “my brain doesn’t fucking work” (adhd), life is inane, etc (ooc interaction is simpler—i love chatting n rp talk ooc!!). i also usually default at novella, but for reasons as mentioned above, i can only provide shortform to semi-lit atm </3 i am also still very new to LoL and am still getting a grasp on the lore. so pls, go easy on me 💀

overall pls be patient and understanding, and i will be for you as well ofc!

here are the characters im looking to write! muses: aphelios, yone, ekko, ezreal, hwei, (kinda sorta maybe) kayn

and here are the pairings im hoping to write stuff for—bold is who i would prefer to write! ships: settphel, ezko, kayone, kaynphel willing to try different pairings with aphelios, yone, and hwei! (mxm only pls)

verses: og verse/runeterra (settphel) spiritblossom vers (settphel) heartsteel/“music vers” (settphel, ezko, kayone, kaynphel) if you have any ideas please do tell me!! i’m totally down to hear out other ideas and or brainstorm something together (:

writing style:

3rd person, usually novella but for the time being shortform to semi-lit length

exclusively writing on discord with a private server for our rp

love having multiple threads

love having full investment—tons of headcanons for our characters and the pairings, discussing other potential scenarios for them, playlists, etc etc. just getting real immersed and hyped for our characters n rp!

looking for:

nsfw involvement is a must/highly preferred !

being open to dark themes: gritty settings, action/violence, depressing/dark situations/elements, deaddove to an extent. [absolutely NO “proship” type shit] we will discuss limits of course!!

cool with t4t and/or trans male character headcanons and such like that (ok with erp involvement also)!

overall lookin for someone who's just as inane for this shit as i am <3

/// i think that’s all? if you’re interested hmu on discord “@ sluuze”!! ///

-

[findyourrp]

/// he him, 20, 20+ only, queer bipoc ///

—🖤 hey! my name is sluuze, and i’m here in hopes of finding someone to write League of Legends stuff with! specifically heartsteel/music vers ngl—the brainrot is so strong. but first, please keep these in mind!:

important to note (ooc): i will be sporadic with rp replies bc “my brain doesn’t fucking work” (adhd), life is inane, etc (ooc interaction is simpler—i love chatting n rp talk ooc!!). i also usually default at novella, but for reasons as mentioned above, i can only provide shortform to semi-lit atm </3 i am also still very new to LoL and am still getting a grasp on the lore. so pls, go easy on me 💀

overall pls be patient and understanding, and i will be for you as well ofc!

here are the characters im looking to write! muses: aphelios, yone, ekko, ezreal, hwei, (kinda sorta maybe) kayn

and here are the pairings im hoping to write stuff for—bold is who i would prefer to write! ships: settphel, ezko, kayone, kaynphel willing to try different pairings with aphelios, yone, and hwei! (mxm only pls)

verses: og verse/runeterra (settphel) spiritblossom vers (settphel) heartsteel/“music vers” (settphel, ezko, kayone, kaynphel) if you have any ideas please do tell me!! i’m totally down to hear out other ideas and or brainstorm something together (:

writing style:

3rd person, usually novella but for the time being shortform to semi-lit length

exclusively writing on discord with a private server for our rp

love having multiple threads

love having full investment—tons of headcanons for our characters and the pairings, discussing other potential scenarios for them, playlists, etc etc. just getting real immersed and hyped for our characters n rp!

looking for:

nsfw involvement is a must/highly preferred !

being open to dark themes: gritty settings, action/violence, depressing/dark situations/elements, deaddove to an extent. [absolutely NO “proship” type shit] we will discuss limits of course!!

cool with t4t and/or trans male character headcanons and such like that (ok with erp involvement also)!

overall lookin for someone who's just as inane for this shit as i am <3

/// i think that’s all? if you’re interested hmu on discord “@ sluuze”!! ///

.

[stinastar]

MI6 Cafe Creators Tag Game

What work of yours challenged you when you were creating it? Well, I’m new to the fandom & only have one thing I’ve finished and posted in the fandom so far, lol. The first was pretty easy. So, I guess the 5+1 that I’m currently working on. The first four sections of the first draft came pretty easily, but I’ve been stumbling a bit on the fifth.

What is a fanwork you’ve seen which gave you a new headcanon about a character? Hmm... OH. I read a fic where Q loses a bet to Eve and has his nails painted gold, and was a bit obsessed with that visual. I don’t know if it’s exactly a hc, but I think he deserves gold painted fingernails and it would be utterly distracting and tantalizing. I encourage everyone to give him painted nails, as a treat :p

Is there a fanwork that you really want to make, but you haven’t started yet? So the 5+1 is something like 5 times Q unintentionally hurt James by reminding him of Vesper, and one time it was a comfort, but it ended up being from Q’s POV. So, because I’m a little angst gremlin, even though I haven’t finished writing it, I’m already thinking about writing a companion piece that’s from Bond’s POV for 300% more angst lol.

What fanwork of yours surprised you, and how? The first 4 parts of the 5+1 did in how easily they flowed onto the page, and I’m really happy with Q’s voice in it.

What themes/styles/subjects are common across many of your fanworks? Alternatively, what themes/styles/subjects are you most interested in creating? I think if you go all the way back through my fanworks the results are a bit skewed, because I did a lot of prompt writing. But I guess I tend to write pining, getting together, fluff, h/c & angst. I always have happy endings and I do not accept MCD lol. I throw MCD in the trashbin. The things that are born from my brain rather than prompts tend to always centre around angst / h/c. I am generally starving for angst, I really love a good angsty fic with a heap of comfort. I thought you were dying and confessed my love kinda flavour. I thought I lost you/almost lost you and will now never let you go 👌🏻👌🏻

What other fandoms do you create for, if any? I started in Good Omens and still write for it occasionally, I was most prolific in The Witcher and still have a ton of WIP for it that I may or may not ever finish, and I wrote one for Our Flag Means Death, which I have notes for a follow up for, again, if I ever actually write it... I have notes for a LOTR fic that will probably never see the light of day 😅 I also have some original projects, current WIP is MLM with a vampire. I also write poetry.

Is there an artist that you like to listen to while you create? Or one whose work always inspires you? No, I need music without lyrics when I write, or I get too distracted. ADHD, baby! I usually listen to lo-fi music while writing, occasionally something like “peaceful piano.”

Share a fanwork that you’ve found yourself thinking about weeks after reading/seeing it. Ok, again, I’m suuuuper new to the fandom. I read my first 00Q fic maybe a couple weeks ago. Mlle_Heloise’s general universe lives rent-free in my head. I adore their OC Stella. I read most of their fics in a bit of a fugue state, and literally read them back to back over the course of a couple days, so they’re a bit mushed together in my head. So I’ll just go ahead and say all of their works, lol. Then living on the faultline by @thestalwartheart was one of the tastiest angsty fics I’ve read in quite a while!

Finally, share where you post your works! I post all of my fics to both @stinawrites here and on AO3 under stinastar.

Tagging @aprettyspy @boffin1710 @slimysuckers I realize y’all might have done this ages back, but I’m new here, so... apologies, haha.

@spiritofcamelot @mi6-cafe

[krakenartificer]

When I got my ADHD diagnosis, I looked at the questions on the screening form and thought, "If this result comes back positive, then I'm definitely not the only person in my family who has it." Questions like

"Have difficulty finishing one activity before starting another one" and

"I finish others' sentences before they can finish it themselves" and

"have trouble staying on one topic when talking"

...I thought were just weird quirks of my family, but no. When I got my results, I contacted my cousin, and she contacted her sisters and mother, and .. .. yeah. Basically everyone in my dad's side of the family is ADHD.

Now there are some problems with that, obviously, (getting family reunions to stick to a schedule is lol no) but there are some really fantastic perks. For one thing, no one in that family minds if I interrupt them while they're talking ... everyone's happy to keep 3 conversations going at the same time .... and no one minds if you fidget constantly.

But the best perk -- at least that I've found so far -- is that all of our parents have coping mechanisms, and passed them on to us. When I found myself unable to handle tasks with more than one step, my father didn't say "WTF are you talking about? It's easy! Just do the thing! Stop being lazy!" No, he could relate completely, and he sat down and taught me how to handle that.

So today, I'm going to pass on to you the coping mechanism my dad taught me for handling the "cannot put tasks in order / cannot get started / forget what I'm doing" problem. You'll need to adjust it for your own needs and your own struggles, but hopefully it'll be helpful in setting up your own process.

I'm going to walk through it with a big project I'm doing at work, just to have a concrete example. That will make some of the discussion specific to computer programming and technical writing, but I do the same thing for all my projects, so hopefully it'll be generalizable.

So to set the stage:

I was supposed to modify this piece of code -- we'll call it "Rosetta" -- to make it handle call data as well as what it was already doing. I did that.... but we now need the code to be able to handle calls (if that's wanted) but also to be able to handle NOT having calls (if THAT'S wanted).

Which is just .... ugh. So much. SOOOOOOOO much.

So. Break it down.

Step one is to get some recording mechanism - pen and paper, whiteboard, blank computer document, whatever

(Technically, this is a different coping strategy, so we'll just take a quick detour: WRITE THINGS DOWN. Your brain is shit at remembering things, and anyway you've already got limits on your working memory; why would you choose to tie up some of that limited resource in something that could be accomplished with literal stone-age technology? Don't even try to remember things. WRITE THEM DOWN.)

I like sticky notes: they're readily available in all offices, they're pretty cheap, and (most importantly) they can be rearranged if it turns out that I forgot a step or put the steps in the wrong order (which, like, let's be honest, I am definitely going to do). But they kill trees and create unnecessary methane emissions, so I've recently switched over to using virtual sticky notes. That's the format I'm going to use for this example, but you can use anything that meets your purposes.

So, you've got something to write with, you're ready to start.

The first question is: what are you trying to accomplish here? What would "done" look like? What is our goal?

I need to end up with a version of Rosetta that will make the correct results if you don't want calls, and will also make the correct results if you do.

The goal here is that you end up with a statement that you can definitively say (a) Yes this is what I wanted or (b)No this is not right because _______

In this case, in order to do that, I'll need to define "correct results" for both call- and non-call versions. But if I have that nailed down, then this statement meets that criterion: I'll be able to say "Yes, this is what I wanted: see, it makes the correct result for calls, and it makes the correct result for not-calls". Or else I'll be able to say, "No, this is wrong: see, it makes the correct result for calls, but on not-calls it does X and we wanted Y."

I have a clear, definitive standard about what I need to do and whether or not I've done it.

But there was a prerequisite there: I need to define "correct results".

So that goes on a sticky note: Create test that will compare my results to existing call!Rosetta-results and to existing not-call!Rosetta-results.

[ID: Two blue boxes, one on top of the other. The top one says in white text "Create test to compare my results to call!results" The bottom one says "Create test to compare my results to not-call!results"] OK. So now we know what we want. The second question is: what do we need to do in order to get that? Here's where the sticky-note recording system really shines, because you don't have to answer this question sequentially. You just start writing down every single thing that is not the way you want it to end up.

I need it to remove commas in the python script, not the bash script

I need to delete the first part of the get_runs() function, which doesn't do anything

I need to delete the rest of the parameters passed to build_query_script() function, because runs encompasses all the others

while we're on that subject, runs doesn't even need the group_variable, so let's pull that out of the parameter document

we also have a dmf defined, which the bash script demands but doesn't use; let's change that demand

since we're changing the structure of the parameter document, we don't need to pull new metrics for each run, so let's move that outside of the runs() loop and only run once

right now the parameter document is ALMOST but not quite "one row per template". Make it so it's actually one row per template.

among other things, that's going to require making it possible for a template to be followed by nothing at all, since it's the assumption that a template will have a metrics block after it that makes it not quite one row per template. So make it possible to publish a template with a null block

the other thing that's weirdly hard-coded is the definition of what a block looks like. Would it make more sense to separate that out into an input file, like the parameters document? On the one hand, that would make it much more flexible; on the other hand, that's another piece that can break. Don't know. Put a question mark on it.

etc

Here's what it looks like at the end of this step:

[ID: A black and white background showing many boxes in two different shades of blue, all with white text. Some of the boxes are overlapping each other.]

As you can see, at this phase you don't need to worry about any of the following:

ordering the tasks. Just stick 'em right on top of each other for now

how you're going to do any of this. Right now we just need to know what, not how

sticking to only one project. As I was working on this, it occurred to me that this whole process would have been a heck of a lot easier if someone had just made a user manual for this, and since I have to go through all the code line-by-line anyway, I might as well write up the documentation while I'm at it. (To help out future-me, if nothing else.) So I put those tasks on another color of sticky note.

making notes that make any ***ing sense to anyone else. This process is for you, and only you need to understand what you're talking about it. Phrase it in ways that make sense to your brain, and to hell with anyone else.

on that topic, also don't worry about making steps that are "too small" or "too dumb" to write down. This is for you. If "save document" feels like a step to you, then write it down.

You also don't need to get every single step involved in the project right now. Get as many as you can, to be sure, but the process is designed on the assumption that you ARE going to forget important steps, and is designed to handle that.

When you can't think of any more steps, then the third question is: what order does it make sense to do these in? Are there any steps that would be easier if you did another step first? Are there any that literally cannot be done unless another step is complete?

This is also a good place to group steps if they fit together nicely. When I used physical sticky notes, I used two different sizes; digitally I can of course make them whatever size I want.

So I have several documentation steps that (a) do need to be written to make sense to other people and (b) I really need to know what's going on before I can do that. I could write them now, but if I did, I'd just end up re-writing them based on things that change as I'm coding. So we'll move those to the end:

[ID: Three dark blue boxes with white text. They read "Create step-by-step instructions for creating your own metric agg", "Create step-by-step instructions for modifying a metric", "Create step-by-step instructions for modifying a query."]

These parts, though -- if I had all the variable structures written down, I could look at them while I'm coding. Then I won't have to keep scrolling back and forth in the code, trying to remember if it's an array or a dictionary while also trying to remember what part of the code I was working on. Brilliant. Move that to the front.

[ID: Seven dark blue boxes with white text, three large, four small. The first one is large and says "Write up explanation of how Rosetta works." The second one is large and says "Document structure of all variables." Attached to that one are four smaller boxes that say "All_blocks", "Runs", "metric", "New_block". The third large one says "Document what qb_parameters.csv contains"]

Also, while I'm at it, I should get the list of variables I need to document -- then I won't have to keep scrolling to find them. Make those sub-steps.

I definitely keep needing to look up what's in the parameters document, so I should write that down, too. For the user manual I also should write down what's in the metric document, but I don't need that for myself, so I can send that to the end.

[ID: The same three dark blue boxes from two screenshots ago (create step-by-step instructions for metric agg, modifying a metric, and modifying a query), now with another dark blue box in front of them with white text that says "Document what granular_metrics.tsv contains."]

These five are all small steps, and are all related in that they don't actually (hopefully) change the functionality of the code; they're just stuff left over from prior versions of this code. So we can lump them all together.

[ID: Five light blue boxes with white text that say "Delete first part of get_runs()", "Have build_query_script only receive the "run" parameter" "Delete dmf" "Move metrics=get_metrics() outside build_all_blocks (all the way up to the top level?" "Delete group_variable from qp_parameters"]

My brain likes this better, so that I can keep track of fewer "main steps", but that's just a peculiarity of me -- you should lump and split however you prefer to make this process easier for you.

[ID: The same five boxes from the prior screenshot, now all made smaller and attached to a larger box that says "Remove Legacy Code"]

Keep going, step by step, sticky by sticky, until you've got them in order. If -- while you're doing this -- you remember another thing you need to do, write it on a sticky and slap it on the pile; you don't have to stop what you're doing to deal with it, because it's written down and it's on the pile and it will get processed; you can just keep working on the thing you're on right now.

[ID: All the same boxes from the first screenshot, now in a neat row. Some of the original boxes have been grouped together. The ones that were said to be at the beginning of the process are on the left and the ones that were said to be at the end are on the right.]

Step four: for the love of all that's holy, SAVE THIS LIST.

Write it on your cubicle whiteboard where it won't be erased

write it on a piece of paper and tape it to the office wall

send an email to yourself

take a picture with your phone

I don't care but save it.

When I used physical sticky notes, I kept them all on the hood of my cubicle's shelf. Now, as you can see, I use Powerpoint, which is irritating af but does allow me to keep everything in a single document, which I can write down the path of.

[ID: White text on a black background says "open ~/Documents/Rosetta\ Modifications\ and \Documentation.pptx" The next line says "Notes in Rocketbook pg 10-12, 16" The next line says "Turn that into documentation that can be used for making modifications."]

And now (finally) you can answer the question "How would I even get started on that?" You look at the first thing on the list, and you treat it as its own project. You can hyperfocus on this step and completely forget about everything else this project requires, because everything you need to remember for the rest of it is written down.

If, as you're working a step, you think of something else you need to do for the big project, write it on a sticky and slap it on the pile. Don't even worry about trying to order it or identify sub-steps; as long as it's not blocking the thing you need to work on right now, you don't have to care. Just stick that bugger anywhere at all on the list, and go back to what you were doing. When you un-hyperfocus and come back to look at your list, there'll be a big sticky note stuck sideways across all the rest of the steps, and you'll remember to file and order it then.

Other benefits of this system

1) The first question really helps with unclear directions from your boss. You can take whatever they told you to do, and translate it into a requirement that is clearly either met or not-met, and then run it back by the boss.

If they say, "No, no, we want ______" then phew! You just saved a huge miscommunication and weeks of wasted work! What a good employee you are! What an excellent team player with strong communication skills!

If they say "Yes, that's what I want," then you know -- for sure -- what it is you're trying to accomplish. Your anxiety is reduced, and your boss thinks you're super-conscientious.

(And if your boss is a jerk who likes to move the goalposts and blame it on their subordinates, then have this conversation over email, so you can show it to their boss or to HR should it become necessary.)

2) Having this project map means that when you spend an hour staring at the requirements and trying to figure out how to get started (which, let's be honest, you were definitely going to do anyway) ... When your boss/coworker comes by and says, "How's it going?" Instead of having to say "I haven't even started 😞" You can say, "Pretty well! I've got all the steps mapped out and am getting ready to start on implementation!" and show them your list, and they think you're very organized and meticulous. 3) Sometimes, especially in corporate jobs, you and your coworkers will run into a problem that's too big for even Neurotypicals to hold all in their heads. At that point, the NTs will be completely lost -- they've never had to develop a way to handle projects they can't just look at and know how to get started. So then you pipe up in the meeting and say, "OK, well, what exactly are we trying to accomplish?" and everybody at the conference table looks at you like you're a goddamned genius and you don't have to tell them that you use this exact same process to remember how to make a sandwich 😅

4) Having this project map makes it so much easier to stop work and then start it up again later, but this post is already really really really long, so I'm going to address that in a separate (really really long) post.

[makeste]

BnHA Chapter 294: A Half-Assed Escape

Previously on BnHA: Mirio was all “SURPRISE I’M BACK THANKS TO OUR RESIDENT SEVEN-YEAR-OLD WHO RECENTLY EARNED HER BACHELOR’S OF BEING A TOTAL BADASS.” Kacchan was all, “you know what, Dabi’s been trending long enough, time to remind the fandom what a real G looks like,” and he blasted his little bleeding body back into the fray and was all “FROM HERE ON OUT CALL ME DYNAMIGHT!!” Mirio was all, “AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA... oh, you’re serious,” and Kacchan was all “!!”, and so that’s the story of how my son got murdered twice in one day. Meanwhile in the Todoroki Drama Zone, Deku was all “STOP MURDERING MY FRIEND” and Dabi was all “THAT’S NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS” and fandom had a whole big debate about Whether Or Not Dabi Trying To Murder Deku’s Friends And Mentors Is Any Of Deku’s Business, which went exactly how you think it went. Anyway, so then Deku yelled at Dabi, and Endeavor was all moved by his manly words and randomly went to go uppercut Machia in the chin. And, seeing as how the Momoserum finally chose that exact moment to kick in, Machia is now down for the count.

Today on BnHA: The Miriosquad handles the Nearly High End Noumus, freeing up Jeanist to jasphyxiate (okay that one doesn’t really work so well) the rest of the League. Compress is all “TIME FOR THIS MILD-MANNERED SIDE CHARACTER VILLAIN TO SHINE”, except that by “shine” what he actually means is “use his quirk to punch a literal hole right through his own ass to free himself.” The rest of the chapter is basically just a back and forth between him and Jeanist, with Jeanist trying to recapture him, and Compress repeatedly thwarting him by chopping more holes out of himself because HE’S FRESH OUT OF FUCKS, AND THE ONES AT THE STORE ARE ALL SOLD OUT, MOTHERFUCKERS. Anyway, so with Compress basically dying and all, Horikoshi is all “you know what that means”, and delivers a freshly-baked villain flashback revealing that Compress is a descendant of Harima Ouji, a.k.a. the Peerless Thief, a.k.a. some famous guy whom Gentle mentioned this one time for like two seconds back in the day. The chapter ends with Compress finally demasking himself and dumping Tomura back onto the ground, a.k.a. The Worst Possible Place For Tomura To Be. ( •﹏•)

WHY IS CRUST HERE YOU’RE SUPPOSED TO BE DEAD

-- OH WAIT, SHIT. OH

AIZAWAAAA you’re alive and receiving medical help thank GOD. HOW MANY EYES DO YOU HAVE. AND MIRKO!! HOW MANY LIMBS DO YOU HAVE, OMG

so is this Aizawa dreaming about Crust’s final moments, then?? jesus. with All Due Respect to Crust’s memory, does Aizawa not already have enough misplaced guilt on his conscience as it is?? “nope, we’re gonna keep piling it on. that’s all he is now. three limbs, an indeterminate number of eyes, sexy hair, and Guilt” well shit

motherfucker y’all really out here placing an oxygen mask on Gran Torino’s corpse. fucking shounen characters. each one comes with a lifetime warranty

DAMN YOU HORIKOSHI WHY DO YOU KEEP SHOWING THESE CLOSE-UPS OF HAWKS’S UNCONSCIOUS FACE ALL WHUMPED OUT AND EXHAUSTED. HOW MUCH MORE OF THIS ARE WE GOING TO GET. ARE YOU PLANNING ON KILLING ME WITH THE UPCOMING CONVALESCENCE ARC, BECAUSE IF SO, AT LEAST HAVE THE DECENCY TO TELL ME AHEAD OF TIME SO I CAN MAKE A WILL

for a moment I considered going back and checking my previous recaps to count how many times I’ve already made a joke about Dabi’s fire incinerating Hawks’s wings but not touching so much as a hair on his five o’clock shadow, so that I could calculate whether or not I could possibly get away with making that same joke one more time. but then I realized I could just do it in this kind of roundabout way I’m doing right now instead. so there you have it

FFFFFFFMT LADY AND MIDNIGHT NOOOOO

PLEASE BE ALIVE. PLEASE RESPECT THE SIGN ON THE FRONT OF THE BUILDING. THE ONE THAT SAYS “NO LADY CHARACTERS ALLOWED TO DIE”, WITH THE FINE PRINT AT THE BOTTOM “AT LEAST NOT UNTIL HORIKOSHI GIVES US LIKE TWENTY-SIX MORE OF THEM FIRST IF THAT’S THE WAY HE WANTS TO PLAY IT.” IT’S A GOOD SIGN, PLEASE RESPECT ITS WISHES!!

so anyway though, Jeanist is giving a speech about how god knows how many people all worked together to bring Machia down. and now RHA is getting in on those fabric puns too, I see. “A SINGLE STRAND MAY BE THIN BUT TOGETHER THEY FORM A STRONG ROPE” oh so you think you guys are funny eh? I’m a frayed knot

MEANWHILE EXCUSE ME BUT WHY ARE YOU FUCKING CRYING BLOOD, HOLY SHIT

fffffff. so much for him taking over as the Number One once all this is over. so let’s just recap real quick, because Horikoshi has long since made it clear that one of his plot goals for this arc is to wipe out every single member of the Billboard Top Ten. so how we doin?

Endeavor - was just figuratively eviscerated in front of the entire nation by his homicidal zombiepunk son. also burnt half to death and possibly down a lung. will almost certainly be forced to retire after this one way or the other

Hawks - lying prettily in a medical tent. wings status: gone. hair status: still perfect

Jeanist - WELL I THOUGHT HE WAS FINE BUT APPARENTLY HE’S OUT HERE DYING, JESUS CHRIST

Edgeshot - MIA, last seen fighting Re-Destro. I really want him to have kicked RD’s ass because fuck that guy, but realistically they probably fought to a draw at best

Mirko - alive but in critical condition and missing something like 1.5 limbs

Crust - dead, currently haunting Aizawa’s traumatized dreams. now he’s gonna be triggered the rest of his life by people giving him the thumbs up, THANKS A LOT

Kamui Woods - was set on fire which is His Weakness. thoughts and prayers

Wash - last seen floating hospital patients to safety as Tomura’s wave of decay descended towards him. probably dead ffff

Old Man Samurai - haven’t seen this fucker in a hot minute, who even knows where he’s wandered off to

Ryuukyuu - currently being treated for her wounds, looked pretty bad off. but it’s hard to tell how hurt she is since most of the injuries were acquired in her transformed state. SHE BETTER GET WELL SOON

anyways, so yeah. so much for the top ten. guess that’s another reason Horikoshi brought Mirio back now, huh

so there’s a big panel of everyone fighting the Noumu while Machia lies there all “blurgh.” good riddance my dude. it took like twenty chapters and a hundred people to stop this guy so I really fucking hope he stays down. you’ve had your fun

anyway so Jeanist is sending another steel thread towards Dabi! and he’s all “just a bit more!!” fklklj this is gonna go real well isn’t it

meanwhile Mirio’s fighting a Nearly High End with all of these weird rock formations jutting out of its skin. go on and kick his ass then, Mirio

“each of these guys is probably just as strong as the Noumu from Kyuushuu” hold on I thought Ujiko or Tomura or someone said that wasn’t the case? not that Mirio would know I suppose. anyways let’s just hope he’s wrong cuz if not these kids are probably screwed

kLSDKFHLSKHGLKLK OH MY GODDDD

IIDA FUCKING TENYA YOU’RE A PEACH. THINKS THE NAME IS OUTRAGEOUS, CHECK. USES IT ANYWAY, CHECK. “JUST BECAUSE I DON’T UNDERSTAND DOESN’T MEAN I CAN’T BE SUPPORTIVE.” WHAT A CLASS ACT

AND KACCHAN IS RESPONDING WITH AS MUCH DIGNITY AS HE CAN MUSTER

WOW, SON. IT’S ALMOST AS THOUGH YOU HAVE A HOLE IN YOUR TORSO, OR SOMETHING!! although listen up, real talk, the fact that Kacchan of all people can’t muster the energy to yell at someone questioning his ability to kick ass is HIGHKEY troubling and we may be in need of an intervention here soon :/

now Jeanist is finally turning his attention to the League! was... was it not already on the League. omg

ACTUAL SCREAMING AHHHHHH FUCK FUCKLK LK AHHLKHKFFFF

hey so um. what the actual fucked up hell. my soul left my body. imagine if you saw the reflection of this panel on your bedroom window. you would never sleep again

OKAY RHA TRANSLATORS ARE YOU HAVING YOURSELF A LAUGH AGAIN

THIS CANNOT BE WHAT HE’S ACTUALLY SAYING RIGHT. BUT IT’S RIGHT IN THAT UNCANNY VALLEY OF NOT BEING QUITE SURE, THOUGH... (　ﾟдﾟ)

(ETA: just a next-day clarification here, apparently my sleep-deprived ADHD word-skipping brain completely skipped right over the “a” in that last panel, so what I read was, “and Shigaraki’s limp noodle.” so yeah, the moral of this story is always read the speech bubble carefully before you start making running jokes throughout the rest of your post, folks.)

oh wow he’s really freaking out lmao

to be fair though, I’d argue that Dabi has gotten pre-tty close at this point :’) thrilled for him, really I am

but anyway, well then figure something out you big dramatic robot-armed fiend. didn’t you just say you could touch your own ass? can you not just Compress yourself to break free?? does it not work on you? or would you be stuck afterwards lol

(ETA: I was picturing him compressing his entire body at once, not just chunks of it. ghhhlkh.)

um

holy shit Jeanist. are you stupidly trying to cut off their air, or are you going for more of a sleeper hold (jleeper hold??) thing instead. the latter would be way smarter and faster and probably safer as well just saying

but unless Spinner is just being super dramatic, it sure looks like he’s fucking strangling them djslkjlk. this will certainly cement his popularity among the villain stans. good thing you’re not running for office any time soon bud

anyway so I have no idea what these guys are trying to do now. what is this

do you even have till the count of 5 at this rate. I mean

OH MY GOODNESS

HE’S REALLY FUCKING DOING IT!! HE’S COMPRESSING HIS BUTT!! OMFG. TOMURA HIDE YOUR NOODLE!!!

WHAT THE FUCK

DID YOU COMPRESS A PIECE OF YOUR OWN ASS. FUCKING WHAT. PUT THIS MAN’S PICTURE IN THE DICTIONARY NEXT TO THE WORD “LOYALTY”, HOLY CRAP

HOLY SHIT COMPRESS

“HOLY SHIT DID THAT GUY JUST PUNCH A HOLE THROUGH HIS OWN ASS IN ORDER TO SAVE HIS VILLAIN PALS. FUCK IT, HE DESERVES TO ESCAPE”

jeez, talk about... A HALF-ASSED ESCAPE ATTEMPT :D :D :D hahaha. but real talk though, Horikoshi has clearly never tried to leap twelve feet straight up in the air multiple times in succession with only half his glutes though. everyone, I regret to inform you that this panel right here on the left may be slightly unrealistic

also where the hell is he going to go?? did you pack a jetpack away in one of those little marbles sir. and what about Dabi?? and Skeptic too, I guess, but we don’t really care about Skeptic

(ETA: at this point I had to stop reading for about two hours because I had to go out and take care of something; that’s also why this is being posted later than usual lol. anyways so where were we.)

oh my lord

the existence of a translator’s note here implies that the earlier line about Compress being able to reach Tomura’s junk was not, in fact, ad-libbed. hmm. hmmmmmmmm

anyway so now he’s grabbing Compress again because OF COURSE HE IS, so now we’re right back to square one! except now Tomura and Spinner are secured inside of little marbles, and presumably Compress is the only one who can release them

oh nevermind he’s just maiming himself again instead, SHEESH

Skeptic a man is dying please have some goddamn respect

so, uh. is he gonna die, though??

I really can’t tell wtf is going on here, this is the most confusing the art has been in a while. Horikoshi put all of his spoons into that creepyass close-up panel earlier, that bastard

OMG WHAT ARE YOU SERIOUS

DON’T FUCKING TELL ME THE “COMPRESS IS RELATED TO THIS THIEF GUY FROM OLDEN TIMES” THEORY IS ACTUALLY TRUE WHAAAAAAT. OH SHIT

so apparently Harima was a Robin Hood type guy who stole from... heroes?? wtf. are heroes the 1% in this scenario. y’all didn’t have any Fortune 500 CEOs to steal from?

THAT’S THE BLOOD THAT FLOWS THROUGH YOU, OH SHIT. and in a related oh shit, the fact that we are getting a Compress flashback now of all times doesn’t bode super well for him. ffff

MEANWHILE THE TODOROKIS ARE STILL TODOROKI-ING

listen here boy if you touch one freaking hair on Shouto’s candy cane head I swear to god --

WHAT DID I FUCKING SAY!!!

SHOUTO NOOOOOO. WTF YOU’RE LITERALLY THE ONE GUY WHOSE WEAKNESS IS ABSOLUTELY NOT SUPPOSED TO BE FIRE. DABI YOU SHIT, YOU BETTER WATCH YOURSELF!! I’M PRINTING OUT A COPY OF THAT COMPRESS PANEL!!! KEEP AN EYE OUT ON THAT BEDROOM WINDOW YOU PUNK!!!

SO NOW POOR SHOUTO IS UNCONSCIOUS AND FALLING!! SOMEONE SAVE HIM!! WHO CATCHES THE CATCHER

COMPRESS LITERALLY HOW ARE YOU STILL ALIVE RIGHT NOW, WHAT IS HAPPENING

PLEASE DON’T CALL TOMURA LEADER OF THE “PLF” YOU KNOW I CAN’T TAKE IT SERIOUSLY WHEN YOU DO THAT. ARE YOU DYING. ARE YOU JUST A FUCKING HEAD NOW WTF

(ETA: “masks are removable, makeste” you know what it’s been a long day okay lmao. or I suppose Compress is really the one who is lmao.)

GASPPPPPP

okay. okay. looooool okay then

WHY WERE YOU COVERING THIS SEXY MOP OF HAIR UNDER THAT HOOD YOU TOOL. IT WOULD HAVE LOOKED SO GOOD WITH THE TOP HAT. I’M SO MAD AT YOU RIGHT NOW

as if it wasn’t enough for him to demask himself, he also had to get all shirtless and then do this weird attempt at a sexypose too huh

hard to say exactly how much of his torso is currently missing, but safe to say that’s proooooooobably not good. :///// fuck

on the other hand, Kacchan also has a torso hole and he’s still flying around like he just drank a dozen red bulls, so

this man lost his ass and he’s still out here monologuing like it’s the last two minutes of The Prestige. one might say he is monologuing his ass off

so he let Spinner and Tomura free, but is Dabi still trapped in his marble?? wasn’t he all on fire and stuff?? hopefully he can still turn off his quirk in there because if not that’s a pretty fucked up way to die. somewhere out there Snatch’s ghost is all “YEAH I’LL SAY.” oh how the turntables

last but not least, sooooooo. Tomura. back on the ground. that’s. um. ...shiiiiiiiit