#ough im feeling things for this guy
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pro tip: you can always put the bugs in little outfits :thumbsup:
#rain world#five pebbles#lttm#looks to the moon#no im not procratsinating what im actully drawing to put the bugs in fun outfits what are you talking about#anyhow uh yeah man been a lil since i uploaded anything huh. that will not be changing. stay tuned for as scarce art as always. we stay thr#anyhow! you know i have done similar scehctehs alot and i always do the undershirt longshirt for them cause i feel like moon would like it#nd pebbles got it from her even if hed hate to adit it. sometimes your older sister figure has good taste (subjective) and you will never r#each her high#anyhow also i like desiging tshirt prints even if its always a pain when i need to do it#ough#anyhow i have suns also if anyone wanna see that i suppose?#otherwise hmmmm well if anyones reading this who has an opinion i wokring on a comic and concidering if i should wait with posting and do t#e whole thing once i anage to struggle through adding the text#or if i will be weak and post my fave parts beforehand for funnsies hmmmm many choises someone tell me what to do i hate making choises#uh for anyone not intrestied in my long tag rabling music rec for today is cop car by mitski!!!! and not at all because ive been watching a#disco elysium aniatic with that song on loop on youtube for days#thats not soemthing id do#anyhow anyhow!!!!#my art#see i can remmeber that tag sometimes :)#oh also an its nice to go back to drawing these guys after weeks of my own rw ocs. strange experince man#^-^
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random stuff dump =___=
#witch hat tag#orufrey#feel like i can barely draw in the past day or so.. (agott voice) you are drawing tho. i wanted to do cooler tarot cards#like a cooler more dynamic pose for qifrey but i could only get out scribbly draft things for later..i feel frazzled#truly idk what im doing atm... ive received some REALLYYYY nice comments & messages lately tho🥺🥺#mostly cause i felt so bad i begged for them LOL praise is honestly like 😳?????? but..ough..thank u to those ppl.....#thank u guys..........#i gotta get better so that i am deserving of such words....
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Sort of a ramble, sort of me just writing my thoughts out while I'm stuck with writer's block, but I keep thinking about how Fulcrum was in stasis for roughly 3 million years??
Like, that's a long time, even for Cybertronians. Not a really long time, not an entire lifespan. But still, it's a large chunk of a normal lifespan just gone. Poof.
One second you're crawling across the pockmarked terrain of an alien planet, surrounded by the sound of gunfire, and the shouting and screaming before and after each earth shuddering impact of another k-con hitting the ground. And then it's quiet. You're not there anymore. You're drifting somewhere between not alive and just asleep. Preserved somewhere in the background of a doomed body, ignored by time and space, still here, but also not.
And then there's sound. Not gunfire. Not shouting or screaming. Not the sounds that'll haunt you till your dying days, your own death sentence pounding in your head. No. Just voices, talking, standing out against a silent, dead world. Wondering. Joking. Bickering. Familiar. Just, not familiar to you. And you're awake. Pulled back from the nothingness you've been frozen in, consciousness tugged forwards with the yank of a fuel pump and the nearness of life.
These two moments are roughly 3 million years apart, but only minutes, maybe even seconds, to him. From a hectic harrowing battlefield, to an old silent graveyard in one blink.
How long did it take to really sink in? I mean, he seems to just roll with it. He doesn't seem particularly bothered. But like, what happened outside of what we see? How did he really feel?
Also, his body aged without him. While his mind preserved itself, freezing him as he was right then, his body was left to weather Clemency for all those years. No wonder it crumbled to dust when he jumped off the world sweeper. It's probably a miracle of some kind that it didn't just fall apart each time someone leaned on him.
And even after they rebuild him, give him a better, newer body. His spark, it's casing, all the irreplaceable core bits that make up their inner bodies, it aged in the time without him. Does he feel it? Does it make his body even more foreign to him?
Then he's also a technician with information that's 3 million years out of date. Lucky him that the scavengers probably weren't working with top of the line material. But still it's gotta be weird when faced with anything brand new, because a lot can change and progress in 3 million years, and now some of the knowledge he once prided himself in is obsolete.
Besides those things, his view of the galaxy, of the war, of their kind, of other kinds, is one of the few things actually pointed out when it comes to him being stuck in the past. So, how often were his old views challenged? Facts of life he held close proved to no longer true? There's 3 million years worth of new science, new beliefs, new words, new terms, new views.
And sure, some of it can be familiar, because they're an ever evolving kind, and they have patterns, core beliefs, repeating behaviors, but a lot of it's gonna be unfamiliar at the same time, because it's 3 million years worth of catch up, it's not like missing last week's trend.
In a way, it makes him a living relic of a bygone era for Decepticons. It would've been really interesting to have had that explored a little more.
#rq i wanna say i love seeing others thoughts on these if you have them. esp those that have thought about it longer than i lol#like. im still just starting to sink my teeth into the lore and put things together. so your thoughts are much appreciated#sometimes i wish that i could turn these rambles into those really well worded. slightly pretentious. but in a fun way. character metas?#but i dont think i can organize my thoughts that well. so. rambles it is lol#not to say rambling is lesser or smth tho. i love a good ramble. love to read them. i support ramblers#speaking of rambling-#idk why it fascinates me so. but theres just something rlly interesting about fulcrum being somewhat stuck in the past#i think it could've played interestingly into his and kroks dynamic had it been explored more?#like. the past and history play big parts in their lives. krok having studied it. and fulcrum having been fast forwarded thru it#it would've been interesting to see them talk more about it? since logically fulcrum wouldve gone to krok for more of the 3mill year rundow#and its like. krok is shown to be really knowledgeable on not only history. but cultures as well. theres and others.#so certain eras of their own culture would probably be a slight interest of his. esp decepticon ones.#and then theres fulcrum. who pretty much got plucked from the empire era only to land in kroks lap (metaphorically) ((...unless?))#so heres this walking talking piece of history. and a dude that has a sort of passion for history. why not explore it more?#and like. yeah. the ''history'' krok has studied is all mostly shit he lived through. but people study the times they lived through-#-because while they may have lived through it. theirs is only one perspective. a good historian takes into account multiple perspectives#idk where i'm going with this now. smth smth fulcrum relying on krok for future stuff and krok having someone to talk history stuff with#i just. augh. i wanna know what their dynamic is more. what we see in the comics is so back and forth at times#like. they seem to hit it off pretty well. but then fulcrum fucks it up ig by being oblivious and a little too ''i can fix him'' vibey#and his taste in comedy is bad. to say the least. which is apparently grounds for messy divorce#also krok is sometimes cool with selling a whole dude. at least when the dude is their befriended giant killer autobot buddy :/#that is also grounds for divorce. obviously#sorry. this is derailing the more i start thinking about how messy fulkrok could be. like. ough <3#they're a little ''i hate my wife'' coded. but in a greater scav codependent poly way. and it's more krok being annoyed with fulcrum#its like. fulcrum: ''i can fix him bcs i need to feel validated'' vs krok: ''wtf is wrong with this guy?! who does he think he is??''#i think they'd want to pick each other apart intellectually. maybe emotionally. smth smth two officers. both disgraced. and power dynamics#its fun. they're both hypocrites. they'd need couples therapy. its also 4am. shit. ok goodnight
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Man its hard to have a second favorite when they're all insanely good augh
#okay buy actual might be my second favorite tho#got me having that feeling back from dear machine kinda#well not exactly its kinda mixed but ough#sm with this one ugh#small thing tho. there was probably a grew on me reference in the end#or like a nod back to it. which makes grew on me have more of a hit & confirms the idea i thought it was about#with it being towards an audience#idk idk am spitballin really#also hey eccentric mention. that's a word i use. im canon Jash lore/j#bro no im sad now. but like in a good way. cos that means the song hits & is rlly good#also if it helps i do not have bro as an idol. i don't have em for reasons like that that. ALSO IM JUST WEIRD LOL#nah cos once i had to write an essay on the prompt “write about a person you idolize or look up to”#LIKE MY GUY I DONT HAVE ANYONE TF DO I WRITE ABOUT????#my only idol is hatsune miku thank you very much#okay okay im done now#i just ougj#song hits#chonny jash#moss post
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hmmm on this fine morning feeling kinda worried my ness interpretation in sdgo is gonna be err . Kinda Shit . in the eyes of .... the General Public
#salmon jibberish#like#ough#i dont like disappointing people even people i have like. literally zero interaction with. strangers on the internet#im just very insecure about my own interpretations of things 😭#honestly im worried abt my interpretations of ALL the characters#im just#a nervous guy#i guess 💀💀💀💀#oughh#superstar daycare grand opening#<- i guess i should tag it ????????????????????#spent 2 hrs last night writing info for sdgo and i think that's what's bringing on this feeling#because i mostly focused on monday and ness#for that brainstorm session
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not enough gay mystery movies. upsetting.
#there is knives out and glass onion which are good but! it is not enough :(#theres also clue where the one guy pretended he was gay.#and theres some movie called bodies bodies bodies? which i heard isnt bad but it. doesnt seem too appealing from the trailer#and a quick google search brings up a list of movies that are. all male.#give me awful lesbian detectives#the closest we have is nancy drew 2007 and the one directed by ellen#neither are lesbians but they both made me feel things and the second one def had some fruity shit goin on#theres also a movie called bound which is lesbians! but im not really sure if its a mystery or not#although i have seen gifsets of both actresses and. ough.#physically could not handle it they were. aough. holy shit.#also the general problem of finding mystery thats not also horror#which is harder than you would think#its not that i dislike horror movies its just that they end up being kind of boring a lot of the time#thinking of trying the unwanted (2014)#it has a 3.9 on imdb but im not picky (lying)
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Havent talked selfship talk in a long while bc i struggle wording things but. I miss frank </3 selfshipping is fun until i sit on public transport with that unscratchable itch of wanting his arm around me
#selfship#i just want him next to meeee not even in a weird way#lately ive thought about frank with a 5 oclock shadow. just want to feel it againt my palm yk the scruff#yk also lately. this is related i swear. i think ive been thinking too much about what i put out there#like im just a guy right i dont have any real responsibilities or anything#but i still find myself. not wanting to post things i think people dont want to see#like this stuff i mean. nothing immoral right just. i think i worry too much about being seen#anyway. ough i miss him. just want to have him stand next to be tbh
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NOT okay right now im thinking abt pokemon leaving scars on their trainers + everyday, domestic problems.....
#this is abt my top gun au btw <3333 which will forever haunt me even though im less likely to write it everyday </3333#like.....getting thin scars from rowlet as a kid which have now all basically faded to time#(though the ones gained as a teen from dartrix can still be seen)#while in the other hand always having angry red scratches along both arms because hes always holding up rufflet who fights like no tomorrow#(believe me; its better to hold him up and take the damage than put him down and let rufflet pick a fight with someone)#OR like....getting electrical burns because elekid doesnt know how to control its discharge yet. and the scars that stay bc of that#(which tbh is an ash + pikachu thing i would love to see)#or how one accidental poison jab from toxicroak will leave you utterly sick for days#(like serious he should probably go to a hospital or smth) and toxi just has the biggest saddest puppy dog eyes in existence it feels so ba#(its fine this has happened before he'll be fine. probably)#bruisings on your shins bc pawmot punches your legs to grab your attention or to get smth it wants....#rooms always being like ten to twenty degrees colder (or even more) when he has his ice pokemon out for whatever reason...#the reverse of that with fire types..... ough...#having to BEG flygon not to fly rn bc it starts a sandstorm every fucking time and it does it anyway#(PLEASE i took you out of your ball to eat dinner why cant yiu behave this one time)#and then dragonair fixing it to be clear skies again.....the never ending cycle....#any trainer who have pokemon that start sandstorm needing a pair of safety goggles for when they battle#(maybe even bringing a spare just in case or--if theyre kind enough--for their opponent to wear so they can see too)#dont even get me started on mythical pokemon interacting with the tg characters.....#anyway tried to stay as vague as possible for the characters lolol#bergmite is just a lil guy who wants to be carried around like all the other small 'mons....i am so sorry sweetie you are over 200 pounds#you cannot be perched on your trainers shoulder like someone else's rufflet can#having ice burns bc froslass tried to freeze him.....#anyway. can you tell i love pokemon#sorry to anyone who sees this in the pokemon tag </333#delete later#i feel like im begging on my knees for someone to ask abt my au....but also if they did id die of embarrassment from answering it...#the pros and cons of having a dumb little au </3#sigh maybe one day i'll write a fic... (<-keeps saying it but has written nothing for it (yet))
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this is def a situation where having the fic in wip state for so long i think is hindering me bc now i really cant tell if pacing is bad because it needs more work or bc ive reread the same thing 900 times
#im simply going to have to let it be Not As Good As I Wished For but that's OKAY#bc it is FANFICTION written as a HOBBY and it doesnt HAVE to be good it just#has to be#and it like. ough. i want it to mean something#this one's more vulnerable tho idk if it'll come accross that way#but i know how it links TO ME!!!!!!!!!#and maybe when i get thru this i can focus on trying to write the dndads thing im too scared to progress on lol#^^^ the twst fic is the one im workin on rn#god now ive dug myself in a hole too of tlaking about it so much#i feel like ill post it and ppl are gonna be like 'why were u agonizing over this for so many months it aint that deep#DUDE IDK!!! <- fights with an imaginary guy LOL
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sparkle on stampede saturday !
#i just left work. ough. i feel. so weird about it#i wanna get fucked up drunk tbh#like. i KNOW thats unhealthy and a bad idea but. i thikk i deserve this a little#im irish and didnt get to celebrate st patricks day im just making uo for lost time#<< for kegal reasons that is a JOKE#anywaym hiiiiiii have u guys watched the tristamp ep yet. sitting on the couch w u all#i havent seen it yet is it good. im avoiding spoilers the only thing ive seen by accident is.#knives floating??? good for him.#did we get our weird angel imagery. did vash become a biblically accurste sea creature. i sure hope he did#talk 2 me <3 *<"*>#kicking legs hands under chin etcetc#my brother is visiting and i got him to watch a couple episodes of trigun98 with me last night#and he LIKED IT.#so much so that hes been watching eps on my tv while ive been at work!@!!! hell yes#which is. HUGE for my brother befause he . quote. 'doesnt watch tv shows'#so. this is a win for me !!!!!#he hasnt met wolfwood yet. im so excited for his reaction to wolfwood omg.#he DID text me at work tho during epidode 6 to ask me about the plants ehehehehehehe. i was like. buddy you dont even KNOW#98 has the most TAME version of that scene imo. it gets SO much weirder in the manga qnd tristamp and i Love It#anyway. hi. im in a weird mood i wanna hang out w the mutuals. sits on ur dashboard. pay attention 2 me <3
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started up Q2 since my brother doesnt have a lot of time to play p5 (understandable tbh) and . the knowledge of when this is supposed to take place in p5 makes this entire game a little funnier. what the fuck do u mean theyre doing this right before Saes palace. i cant tell if this is weirder for Akechi or everyone else
#p5#i hope theres a group bonding moment w Akechi that makes everything that happens later so much worse. Please#also i forgot that u have to like. make the map urself. thats so funny. i am NOT doing that manually tho#i wish they had the english voices available so i knew what theyre saying during battle :( their jp voices are really good tho#surprisingly close in both languages tbh .. expecially Akiras.. i almost thought it was just the same guy lmao#how is this game even explained in the canon timeline. do they just pull some memory erasure stuff at the end or what#its very silly n cute so far tho i love it :]#lmao ive had the Q2 theme on my 3ds for a long time so hearing it now feels weird..#omg Akechis lil dialogue pop-up face when ur at the shop/theater. hes just. hes -> :D#caroline and justine ???????????#Akechi commenting on Akira using 2 personas at once . i see u boy#oh shit everyone can do it now ???? this game is wild#oh hey !! velvet room ppl i dont know !!!! these must be from p3 right#ough. im gonna need to abuse savestates to play thru this thing bc it keeps freezing randomly
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Hey knkdz nation - is there a kunikidazai fanart/comic/fic/text post even maybaps based on when Dazai first joined the ADA and pretended he didn’t know rlly how to remove the safety of a gun where Kunikida’s just like “oh yea- dw I’ll teach u” and it’s normal until Dazai messes up how he’s holding the gun and so Kunikida goes behind Dazai and like,, holds his hands to guide them to correct him and dazai has a oh shit oh fuck wait - lowkey lil flustered moment or did I fucking make this up again </3
Legitimately Cannot remember if I saw something like this and forgot abt it, if I saw something v similar but it was actually for a different fandom, or if this is actually anoriginal thought for once
#this may be based on a fate fanart I saw actually LMAO#wait im pretty sure this was a fate thing ough guys help-#pls guys I just wanna know#if this is an original idea u can bet ur sweet ass I’m drawing it- if it’s not than I do not wonna steal someone’s concept#(if it is feel free to steal it or any of my other ideas I think so much but hardly ever use em feel free to snatch any of my rambles LOL)#again I am so good at absorbing content but not retaining it and I fear one day I’ll accidentally steal something bc of that aaaa#kite watches bsd#kite's unfiltered brainthoughts
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👇 literally can't think about calvin and hobbes for too long ill bhrst into tears i love them so much
#i read my moms three massive books of calvin and hobbes comics when i was very very young and didn't fully understand them but LORC#LORD IF THEY DON'T HOLD a fond place in my heart.....#alright gn. lov u guys im drunk and thinking about calvin and hobbes OUGH those longer comics made me FEEL THINGS in my nine year old heart#<3#.txt
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Hey you aren't dumb ❤️ you are carrying a lot on your plate right now and I can't imagine what it's like now having the weight of people waiting for your story I would freeze and not be able to do it ngl. Your best is going to look different from day to day some days you'll get everything you wanted done and some you will get nothing done, regardless you still did your best. The fact you've even been able to kinda balance everything is impressive
🥀
uuauaghh o(T□T)o rose anon..... why are u so kind.... yyeah um. the weight of expectations is killing me just a little. just a tiiiny bit lol. it was definitely easier to write and post before when i was brand new and no one was expecting anything (and there were especially no expectations on like the Quality of my writing)... idk. even like the longer i take it gets worse bc im like.. it has to be Really good now to be worth the wait. imagine i take months to put this out and ppl dont like it. ahhh. and then i get extra nitpicky and change things so it takes LONGER.. a vicious cycle. lolllll but yeahh! ty for reminding me that like it's okay. i super super superr appreciate u ❤️🫶
#me when i start crying#💖🩷💕🩵🫶#ask#🥀#oughs another tangent. i think it even worsens when ppl send nice comments and i hhhate that 😭#like if someone says they loved rosy and theyre so excited for more im like. well obviously initial reaction is WOWIFJD 💕❤️🩷💖#but then im like#ok. theyre excited. theyre waiting. u have to make it rly good. cannot disappoint these lovely ppl#or every time someone says my writing is really good or something im like. WHAT tysm??@!?(? and then in the back of my head its like#okay.. i have to live up to that now#like. why is my brajn doing this to me#lolll#but like definitely do not take this as a sign to not say nice things anymore they are also the only thing keeping me going so pls#it just like. subconsciously adds more pressure i think?? idk how to stop that#and like ik a lot of u guys say it'll be good no matter what but. i just cannot fathom that#very sweet of u nonetheless#um#yeah#idk what i was saying#ily guys i just dont like my brain#🩵🩵#feel like i need to send this shit to a therapist LOL
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explanation in tags.
i know this is supposed to be my spooky month specific blog but something very scary just happened and I've never felt more stressed in my life
I can barely walk I'm so stressed, it's like I lost all the strength in my body
Please pray for us
Please
#when i woke up today I went to go talk to my sister about something when i hear my dad say from downstairs ''they're here''#and my sister goes ''the ambulance is here?!'' and my ass who literally JUST got out if bed is like ''THE AMBULANCE??? FYM THE AMBULANCE???'#i hear paramedics come in and they're talking to my brother and asking him questions like#'what's your name? where are you? what year is it? who's the current president?' etc#of all the questions he could only answer his name and what year it was#they held up a marker and said 'do you know what this is?' couldn't answer. 'how many fingers am I holding up?' couldn't answer#i asked my sister what was happening and why she called an ambulance#she said he was standing in the living room talking to nobody and saying 'oh shit i can't hear'#before they pulled off for the hospital though he regained some awareness and declined to go#but he has stroke levels of highblood pressure#it was the scariest thing of my life. I've never seen my brother lile that#he was so confused and worried. and when they were putting him on the stretcher he seemed so limp#you guys know me. i already have anxiety over everything. but seeing my brother like that sent me into a panic#I couldn't breathe i couldnt walk#it's been a while and i still feek wobbly#im glad he's back and lucid but i wish he went to the hospital#he declined bc of money but I'm so worried for him now#anyways that's it#i know i said all this shit about me and how i was feeling but how i feeling wasn't what i was concerned with i was just so worried for him#that i could barely function. and i didnt know what else to do other than place my thoughts somewhere. document how i was feeling#to get my bearings because for a moment it felt like this was all aa really bad nightmare#okay I'm done fr this time#ough...
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had the sudden realisation that legatos “i wanted to know him” @ knives is actually just a church thing. like. my church says that. @ jesus. like. he really loves knives in a religious way my fucking god! no kidding! like FOR REAL
#i understand everybody now hes that hardcore christian that brings up how devoted he is to jesus#ik u pray every fucking minute of the day sit down#like i knew this already!! BUT LIKE FOR REAL THATS WHAT MY CHURCH SAYS??#YKNOW THE WHOLE…u wanna knkw jesus better?? know how good he is to you??#join our church 🫶#its the realisation like yk its like oh surface level but then im christian and i realise oh wow!#hes a Good Christian Guy TM that follows all the things in the bible!#and the bible says human sucks genocide maybe?#funny enough if i put it that way legato has sinned because he let the slave girls live ….#and thats why he dies huh#for his sins#(thinking too much#yeah can u tell i turn my brain kff when i consume media#ough thinking abt that person who said legato made the angels fall from heaven#because he makes knives care for a human being (breaks his ideals#and makes vash kill someone (also breaking his ideals#legato is sin huh the glutton lmao#lmao haha imagine u could fit the deadly sins into his character hahsjnsjsnsb (delusional)#idk where this went i feel really high
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