#ouat press release

[drghostwrite]

Hi again.Love your stuff. Could I ask for a OUAT one where reader is with zelena (romantically) and the readers pregnant and maybe gives birth. I just love your pregnancy ones and I was hoping maybe a little angsty but overall all good! Thanks!!

Omg yessss!!! okay…okay, here we go I wrote this and definitely added so extra angst bc yk the whole mommy issues and abandonment and resent towards Regina thing. So basically it’s where Regina and Zelena make up BUT there is still some distress there and they fight about it and reader goes into labor, also Zelena freaks out and gets nervous and first person she calls is Regina so all around it’ll be great.

Our Happy Ending…

Pairing: Zelena Mills x preg!wife!reader

******************************************************** you were sitting at the dinning room table scrolling through some documents on your laptop when her heard the loud creak and slight slam of the the front door. You listened as heels clicked across the floor, you turned in your seat watching as Zelena ghosted right past you to focused on something that preoccupied her mind. Before you could stand up under the heavy weight of your bump she came back into the room, you sat there smiling up at her.

“Darling. ” She smiled at you, coming close to kiss your lips running her hand over your bump.

“How are you my love?” You grinned back.

“I should be asking you that question… you look absolutely stunning, you’re glowing…”

“mmhmm” you laughed into her kiss, she could feel your toothy grin under her lips as you pressed her forehead to yours. The moment was serene feeling your baby move under your hands, your hearts beating in sync the quietness between you was calming.

“help me?” You said putting your hand in hers as she moved her hand to your leg, standing in front of you, “I’ve been sitting here and my back is killing me.”

“want me to help?”

“help, only if you wanna carry the bump next time… this thing is heavy.” She motioned for you to turn, kicking off her heels as you both stood eye to eye.

“just trust me…” she slid her hands under your bump and you braced against her thinking it would hurt, that was until she lifted, the tension in your back releasing your muscles relaxing.

“omg, Zelena…” you moaned out.

“see love, just trust me.” She let out a deep chuckle in your ear.

“I just…” the moment was interrupted by your phone ringing.

“whoever it is can wait.” You said ignoring the phone, as she ran skilled hands over your body pulling you closer, your bump pressing firmly into her torso and she kissed you.

Brrr…brrrr… your phone rang again.

“oh God, I’m so sorry…” you said resting your forehead against her neck, a hand in her chest.

“it’s okay just see if everything is okay…”

you picked it up and answered, Regina was on the other end.

“hey Regina…” you turned and looked at your wife who rolled her eyes and scoffed, you knew she wasn’t happy, “yea… okay…yea… no I can have it done… well no…” you chuckled and a few minutes later hung up and went into the kitchen to find your wife very annoyed.

“what was that all about?”

“work, life, work again.” You playfully scoffed.

“hmm…” she said still not looking at you.

“baby what’s wrong?”

“what’s wrong?… you spend more time with her than…”

“oh don’t go there…”

“don’t go there?… I’m sorry was this a mistake, did you happen to marry the wrong sister?”

“Zelena where the hell are you getting this from?”

“where… she gets everything, our mother, the castle, Queen, Mayor, the Charming family dream squad…”

“are you serious right now?!” You snapped, wincing back feeling a cramp.

“Serious, of course I’m serious I’ll be damned if I lose the love of my life and my unborn child to her…”

“Dammit Zelena, you’re not gonna lose me, or this baby…”

“all my life I have wanted this, you, the baby, a good life and it just seems like everywhere I turn she’s there… and I don’t want her to take this too.” She said her voice cracking as she let out some frustration.

“Okay, so you think what I married you to have your kid so I can just run off with her.…”

“no that’s not what…”

“not what you meant?”

“No I just-she gets everything... I just wish I could’ve had that life, she grew up with everything and now it feels like she’s getting you.”

“okay well…listen” you ran a hand over her back, “ I wanted you not Regina, not a queen, you… yes she’s your sister and my boss and one of my best friends but she’s not my wife, she’s not the love of my life or the mother of my child… I chose you because I love you and I will choose you everyday of my life, in every story.”

“I-I just, I’m sorry…”

“for?”

“taking it out on you and the baby, you didn’t deserve that.”

“no but i can see why, i do spend a lot of time with her but once this baby is here, that’ll all change, no more late night early morning calls or going into work, none it’ll all stop… because we’re more important.” You said motioning between the two of you and the large bump you’ve been sporting recently.

“I’m sorry darling.” She leaned soft silky lips meeting yours.

“you can make it up to me later…” you flirted.

“mm I’m sure I can.” She smirked back, kissing your lips a little harder before you pulled away.

“okay i need to go sit down.”

“Are you okay? Is the baby?” She turned more towards you, a hand going immediately to your swollen stomach.

“I’m not sure, I’ve been having pains and sitting in these chairs hasn’t helped.” You tried turning to waddle away.

“pains? Y/N are you having contractions?!” Her voice slightly raised in concern.

“no I think it’s just a false alarm, the past few days have been a lot and they aren’t even intense.”

“Y/N, if you’re going into labor…”

“I know, I know…but I don’t think…” you stopped dead in your tracks when you felt it, the small gush of liquid, looking down to see the dark stream in your maternity jeans.

“okay maybe…” you turned back around.

“oh bloody hell I knew it, let’s go hospital now.” She turned and ran to get your hospital bag rushing to the car, you heard tires squeal as the car pulled out, she’d definitely improved her driving the past couple years. One thing she forgot though, you.

“Oh my God I’m so sorry.” She said running back into the house and helping you out to the car.

“it’s okay love just…” the first strong contraction hitting you full force, “oh that hurts, aren’t you a midwife...”

“I’m not delivering this baby… we’re going.”

“just please do me a favor,” you shifted in the seat holding the seatbelt tightly as you other hand grasped for hers, “be careful and take a breath, this is a good thing, we’re having a baby.” She reached over running a soothing hand over your thigh as another contraction took over your body.

“we are love we’re having our baby.” She squeezed your hand, and moments later you found yourself in the birthing room, lights dimmed as you tried to relax, your wife had stepped out. She was a hot mess right now and it was probably best she got some fresh air.

heels clicked as they made their way down the hall, Regina rounded the corner, hair pulled up, in a white tee, black vest… more relaxed than usual.

“Hey sis, what’s wrong?” She asked worried seeing the distress on Zelena’s face.

“Y/N went into labor…”

“And that’s a good thing, you ready to be a mom?”

“no, Regina I’m not ready, I’m scared, I’m the wicked witch of the west I don’t get this kind of happy ending… something is bound to go wrong, what if I lose her or the baby or both!”

“no no, calm down, take a breath… breathe… this is a good thing, it’s okay to be scared. It makes us good parents…”

“Does it really?” Your wife scoffed sarcastically and an expression soft and genuine fell of her sisters face.

“I was terrified when I adopted Henry, but I wouldn’t trade it or him for the world. And Y/N is going to need you, you’re both going to need each other, but you’re going to do great, you’re going to be great moms and you have people here to support and help you… and by the way we can have happy endings, villains can change, we can get happily ever after’s… Y/N will be okay, the baby will be okay, you’re going to be a great mom.”

“I’m going to be a mom…” she looked at her sister tears in her eyes.

“Yea, now go, help your wife and bring me my little niece or nephew I’ve been waiting too many months.”

“Thank you.” She hugged her quickly.

“you’re my sister Zelena, I would do anything for you.”

back to you in the delivery room, you groaned through another contraction, staff filling the room as your wife rushed in to be at your side, “Okay Mrs. Mills it’s time to push.”

“God this hurts…”

“I know but you’re so close mama, I can see the head, just a couple more.” That gave you a little more motivation to get through the pain, before there was another searing pain and you screamed out, “something’s wrong, something’s wrong.”

“No it’s normal… that burning your feeling, means baby’s is crowning.” Zelena coached you through the contractions.

A few more pushes and you were holding your little bundle to your bare chest as the nurses immediately laid your baby on you, looking up you saw tears in her eyes as she looked down at your baby.

“Hi there little one, we’ve waited so long to meet you.” Zelena reached out a finger stroking the baby’s cheek.

“is it a boy or girl?” She asked, no response so she looked up. She saw as the color drained from your face, the midwife sharing a look with the nurses.

“Zelena… I-i don’t feel so good.” You said handing her the baby.

“wh-what’s going on?”

“she’s hemorrhaging we need some room to work…” the midwife moved quickly a nurse pushing her out of the room and taking the baby.

a few moments later and the Charmings, Regina, Belle and Gold, Hook were in the waiting room as your wife nervously paced, a green patch had been growing up her neck, her eyes crackling with power as she thought about losing you. A nurse nervously came down the hall into the waiting area, “Zelena Mills?”

“Yes?” She spun on her heels, scaring the young woman.

“So she had a minor hemorrhage but we got it under control, she resting now but she’s stable and in good condition… baby is currently getting cleaned and weighed, but all signs seem good.”

“boy or girl?”

“girl… she has a full head of dark hair and the most gorgeous eyes.”

“her moms eyes, I was hoping.”

“well mom is okay, baby girl Mills will be brought back to the room shortly.”

“oh thank- oh my God, ca-can I see her?” She asked relief washing over her as she realized you were okay, the nurse nodded and showed her back to your room. The door slowly opened revealing your wife’s silhouette in contrast to the hallways lights vs the dark room.

“Hey darling….” She said coming close to you.

“Hey,” you whispered grabbing her hand and pulling her closer, she slid into the bed behind you as you curled into each other.

“so we have a baby girl…”

“yea.”

“and she’s absolutely gorgeous and has your eyes.”

“hmm.” You sighed happily.

“I thought I was going to lose you but you’re safe now.” She squeezed you a little tighter.

“I’m not going anywhere, we have a baby girl to raise.”

“true, a little girl that we have to give a name.”

“hmm… can I think on it, I’m so tired.”

“you did great darling, get some rest we’ll decide later.” She listened as you breathing slowed and fell into a rhythm, she ran a soothing hand through your hair as you laid against her, she watched as the nurses came and checked on you letting you sleep and brought the baby by to be there when you woke up.

Everything she had ever dreamed up was sitting here in front of her in the hospital room, a wife she loved and adored and a little pink bundle that she would give her life for if that’s what it took, she had found her happy ending and it was just a new beginning.

[onceuponaseriesrewatch]

OUAT Press Release 1x1 Pilot

Synopsis: In the premiere episode, “Pilot”, not believing a word of Henry’s story, Emma brings him back to Storybrooke, but finds herself drawn to this unusual boy and his strange New England town.  Concerned for him, she decides to stay for a while, but soon comes to suspect that Storybrooke is more than it seems.  It’s a place where magic has been forgotten, but is still powerfully close…where fairytale characters are alive, even though they don’t remember who they once were, and where the Evil Queen, known as Regina, is now Henry’s foster mother. The epic battle for the future of all worlds is beginning, and for good to win, Emma will have to accept her destiny and fight like hell.

Written by: Edward Kitsis and Adam Horowitz

Directed by: Mark Mylod

Starring: Ginnifer Goodwin (Snow White / Mary Margaret Blanchard); Jennifer Morrison (Emma Swan); Lana Parilla (Evil Queen / Regina Mills); Josh Dallas (Prince Charming / David Nolan); Jared Gilmore (Henry Mills); Raphael Sbarge (Dr. Archie Hopper / Jiminy Cricket); Jamie Dornan (Sheriff Graham Humbert); Robert Carlyle (Rumplestiltskin / Mr. Gold)

Guest Starring: Tony Amendola (Gepetto / Marco); Lee Arenberg (Grumpy / Leroy); Peter Bryant (Jailer); Warren Christie (Ryan); Beverley Elliott (Granny / Granny Lucas); Megan Ory (Red Riding Hood / Ruby Lucas); Keegan Connor Tracy (Blue Fairy); James Bamford (The Black Knight); Michael Coleman (Happy); Keith Dallas (Cabbie); Jakob Davies (Pinocchio); Faustino Di Bauda (Sleepy); Darla Fay (woman on the bus); David Avalon (Doc); Jeffrey Kaiser (Dopey); Gabe Khouth (Sneezy); Mig Macario (Bashful); Tom Pickett (Bishop); Darren Dolynski (nervous guard); Joanne Pesusich (dancer)

1x1 Pilot airs on Sunday August 26 at 8:00 pm EST.

[ciaraouat10]

"The Charmings disagree over Emma and Hooks's wedding plans"

[blowmiakisscolin]

....I'm sorry, but literally all I can think of is Fiona from Shrek and the idea of Rumple being Shrek's kid is beyond hilarious to me.

[j-philly-b]

So did Snow and Charming make a personal sacrifice or is it that they sacrificed Emma's childhood/happiness?

[queen-mabs-revenge]

Aaaahahahahaaa omg are they going to Bae!retcon Henry Sr., too??!!

[efnewsservice]

THE FINAL BATTLE IS WAGED BETWEEN OUR MOST BELOVED FAIRY TALE CHARACTERS AND THE ULTIMATE VILLAIN, ON THE SERIES FINALE OF ABC’S ‘ONCE UPON A TIME’

“Leaving Storybrooke” – Wish Rumple’s evil plan is revealed and Regina realizes the only hope to stop him is by turning Wish Henry from his path for vengeance. Meanwhile, Tilly and Margot try to get help in Storybrooke. With his hope of ever being reunited with Belle fading, Weaver struggles to find a way to defeat his evil alter ego; and when Rogers’ life is threatened, he is faced with the ultimate sacrifice, on the series finale of “Once Upon a Time,” FRIDAY, MAY 18 (8:00–9:01 p.m. EDT), on The ABC Television Network, streaming and on demand.

“Once Upon a Time” stars Lana Parrilla as Regina/Roni, Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiltskin/Weaver, Colin O’Donoghue as Hook/Rogers, Andrew J. West as Henry Mills, Dania Ramirez as Cinderella/Jacinda, Alison Fernandez as Lucy and Mekia Cox as Sabine/Tiana.

Guest starring in this episode are Ginnifer Goodwin as Snow White, Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan, Josh Dallas as Prince Charming, Jared Gilmore as Young Henry, Emilie de Ravin as Belle, Rebecca Mader as Zelena, Sean Maguire as Robin Hood, Tony Amendola as Marco, David Anders as Dr. Wale, Lee Arenberg as Leroy, Jack Davies as Pinocchio, Faustino Di Bauda as Sleep, Beverley Elliott as Granny, Gabe Khouth as Sneezy, Rose Reynolds as Alice/Tilly, Tiera Skovbye as Robin/Margot and Keegan Connor Tracy as Blue Fairy.

“Leaving Storybrooke” was written by Edward Kitsis & Adam Horowitz, and directed by Ralph Hemecker.

[ladycatherines]

biggest question of the night:

where the fuck was doctor whale

[worryinglyinnocent]

Press Release: Once Upon A Different Time Episode 322 - “Fixed”

Haven’t done one of these for a while but I think that the last episode of the season demands it enjoy!

Catch up on previous episodes here.

(Banner by the ever-talented ripperblackstaff)

====

Don’t miss the nail-biting season finale of Once Upon A Different Time, coming to a computer/tablet/phone screen near you on July 7th. 

Whilst Regina tries to keep the peace in Storybrooke, Belle and Rumpelstiltskin meet with resistance when they try to get the silver slippers from Dorothy to send back to the remaining witches in Oz and give Emma and Neal a hope of getting home. 

Meanwhile, still in munchkin custody, Neal and Emma try to talk their way out of their precarious situation. Even if they manage it, will they be able to get back to Storybrooke? Is there really no place like home? 

====

Once Upon A Different Time stars:  Ginnifer Goodwin as Mary Margaret Blanchard/Snow White, Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan, Lana Parilla as Regina Mills/Evil Queen, Josh Dallas as David Nolan/Prince Charming, Emilie de Ravin as Belle, Michael Raymond-James as Neal Cassidy, Jared Gilmore as Henry Mills, and Robert Carlyle as Mr Gold/Rumpelstiltskin.

Guest starring: Amy Acker as Astrid/Nova, Lee Arenberg as Leroy/Grumpy, Sarah Bolger as Princess Aurora, Jamie Chung as Mulan, Angel Coulby as Phoebe/The Witch of the North, Beverley Elliot as Granny/Widow Lucas, Eric Keenleyside as Moe French/Sir Maurice, Sunny Mabrey as Glinda/The Witch of the South, Sean Maguire as Robin Hood, Julian Morris as Prince Philip, Teri Reeves as Dorothy, Diana Rigg as Auntie Em, Raphael Sbarge as Archie Hopper/Jiminy Cricket, Sebastian Stan as Jefferson/The Mad Hatter  and Danny Woodburn as Boq.

[onceuponaseriesrewatch]

OUAT Press Release: 1x2 The Thing You Love Most

Synopsis: Regina does everything in her power to force Emma out of Storybrooke and out of her and Henry’s lives forever.  Meanwhile, the chilling circumstances of how the Evil Queen released the curse upon the fairytale world is revealed.

Written by: Edward Kitsis; Adam Horowitz

Directed by: Greg Beeman

Starring: Gennifer Goodwin (Snow White / Mary Margaret Blanchard); Jennifer Morrison (Emma Swan); Lana Parilla (Evil Queen / Regina Mills); Josh Dallas (Prince Charming); Jared S. Gilmore (Henry Mills); Raphael Sbarge (Dr. Archie Hopper); Jamie Dornan (Sheriff Graham Humbert); Robert Carlyle (Mr. Gold / Rumplestiltskin)

Guest Starring: Kristen Bauer von Straten (Maleficent); Giancarlo Esposito (Magic Mirror / Sidney Glass); Tony Perez (Prince Henry); Beverly Elliot (Granny Lucas); Megan Ory (Ruby Lucas); Patti Allan (Blind Witch); David Avalon (Doc); C. Ernst Harth (Ogre); Layton Keely (Gnome); Lee Arenberg (Grumpy); Michael Coleman (Happy); Faustino Di Bauda (Sleepy); Jeffrey Kaiser (Dopey); Gabe Khouth (Sneezy); Mig Macario (Bashful)

1x2 The Thing You Love Most airs Sunday, August 26 at 9:00 pm EST.

[captainswanluver]

I just love seeing them preparing for their wedding in black and white.

[onceland]

7.02 A Pirate’s Life - Press Release

HENRY IS REUNITED WITH EMMA, HOOK AND REGINA AFTER FACING TROUBLE IN THE NEW ENCHANTED FOREST; AND IN HYPERION HEIGHTS, JACINDA FIGHTS VICTORIA TO SEE LUCY, ON ABC’S ‘ONCE UPON A TIME’

“A Pirate’s Life” – When Henry finds himself in trouble, he calls upon his Storybrooke family for help, and together they set off on a mission to find Cinderella. Along the way, Hook is confronted by an unexpected foe who threatens the group’s success. In Hyperion Heights, Jacinda searches for a way to see Lucy with some unwelcome assistance from Henry, while Victoria Belfrey enlists the help of Gold and Weaver to push Henry out of the neighborhood, on “Once Upon a Time,” FRIDAY, OCTOBER 13 (8:00–9:01 p.m. EDT), on The ABC Television Network.

“Once Upon a Time” stars Lana Parrilla as Regina/Roni, Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiltskin/Weaver, Colin O’Donoghue as Hook/Rogers, Andrew J. West as Henry Mills, Gabrielle Anwar as Lady Tremaine/Victoria Belfrey, Dania Ramirez as Cinderella/Jacinda and Alison Fernandez as Lucy.

Guest starring in this episode are Jennifer Morrison as Emma Swan, Jared S. Gilmore as Young Henry, Mekia Cox as Sabine/Tiana, Adelaide Kane as Drizella/Ivy and Trevor Roberts as Remy.

“A Pirate’s Life” was written by Jane Espenson & Jerome Schwartz and directed by Tara Nicole Weyr.

x

[fuckyeahbelleandrumpelstiltskin]

On the episode “Beauty” – It’s Halloween in Hyperion Heights and Victoria forces Ivy to take Lucy trick-or-treating. Meanwhile, Tilly appears to be waking up from the curse and is intent on leading Weaver to the truth – but not if Victoria can help it. In a flashback, Rumple and Belle seek the answer to a prophecy that could cement their happy ending, on “Once Upon a Time,” FRIDAY, OCT. 27 (8:00–9:00 p.m. EDT), on The ABC Television Network. 

“Once Upon a Time” stars Lana Parrilla as Regina/Roni, Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiltskin/Weaver, Colin O’Donoghue as Hook/Rogers, Andrew J. West as Henry Mills, Gabrielle Anwar as Lady Tremaine/Victoria Belfrey, Dania Ramirez as Cinderella/Jacinda and Alison Fernandez as Lucy. Guest starring in this episode are Emilie De Ravin as Belle, Giles Matthey as Gideon, Rose Reynolds as Tilly/Alice and Adelaide Kane as Drizella/Ivy. “Beauty” was written by Dana Horgan & Leah Fong and directed by Mick Garris

[queen-mabs-revenge]

But…look at my bb reaching out to people. Look at him making connections. My son 😭

[efnewsservice]

7.21 Homecoming Press Release

HENRY IS TESTED WHEN HE AND HIS FAMILY ARE FORCED TO GO ON A DANGEROUS RESCUE MISSION TO THE WISH REALM, ON PART ONE OF THE SERIES FINALE OF ABC’S ‘ONCE UPON A TIME’

“Homecoming” – As the residents of Hyperion Heights celebrate the breaking of the curse, Henry is visited by Wish Rumple, who’s hatched an evil plan to use Ella and Lucy to keep Weaver from destroying the Dark One powers. In order to stop him, Henry, Roni, Weaver and Rogers must travel to the Wish Realm, home to versions of some of our most beloved and fearsome characters. In a flashback, a discouraged Young Henry is visited by Wish Rumple and offered a deal that could have tragic consequences, on Part One of the series finale of “Once Upon a Time,” FRIDAY,MAY 11 (8:00–9:01 p.m. EDT), on The ABC Television Network, streaming and on demand.

“Once Upon a Time” stars Lana Parrilla as Regina/Roni, Robert Carlyle as Rumpelstiltskin/Weaver, Colin O’Donoghue as Hook/Rogers, Andrew J. West as Henry Mills, Dania Ramirez as Cinderella/Jacinda, Alison Fernandez as Lucy and Mekia Cox as Sabine/Tiana.

Guest starring in this episode are Jared Gilmore as Young Henry, Robbie Kay as Peter Pan, Victoria Smurfit as Cruella De Vil, JoAnna Garcia Swisher as Ariel, Timothy Webber as The Apprentice, Rose Reynolds as Alice/Tilly, Tiera Skovbye as Robin/Margot, Jeff Pierre as Prince Naveen/Drew and Trevor Roberts as Remy.

“Homecoming” was written by David H. Goodman and directed by Steve Pearlman

[eddisfargo]

Not a day will go by (1/?)

CSSS 2021 gift for @resident-of-storybrooke! HI!! Surprise, I am not in fact an author you know, I know this because I have never written anything! But perhaps you have seen my name on kudos lists! I have seen yours! Although yours, being related to the correct fandom, is probably more sticky-outy to me than mine is to you haha. Anyway, I really hope you enjoy!! Thank you for inspiring me to finally take the plunge and get one of these onto “paper”!

@cssecretsanta2020

(AO3)

Summary: Captain Hook wakes up in a strange bed, next to a woman he does not remember. He finds nothing particularly unusual about this situation. But the woman seems to know him very well.In Storybrooke, there's only one surefire way to get back a lost memory. And it's not going to work until he loves her.

Tags: 

Amnesia

Post-S6

but Killian sure does not realize it's Post-S6

he remembers none of it

He knows who he is! but does not remember anyone he's met since the show started

A/N: I was pretty nervous about signing up for this Secret Santa, because I've never written an OUaT fic. In fact, I haven't written... anything... since I was a young teen. At least not outside of my head! Here's hoping it's a little bit... better than those were. Hope you'll bear with me!

I wasn't able to have a completed fic in time for Christmas, especially since this chapter got so long. No idea how long it'll be--I've kind of never done this before. But my giftee said one chapter was good for now! Thanks for having faith in me! I hope you like it! And I'll try to release the follow-up chapters in a timely manner! I know generally where I want it to go.

I rated this M just to be safe, but so you know there's a bit of a fade-to-black.

Chapter 1: Not for the first time

Not for the first time, and surely not for the last, Hook woke up in an unfamiliar bed. Light was beginning to filter in through a large, high window. Damn it, he’d fallen asleep. And someone warm, soft and very naked was pressed up against him.He took a moment to appreciate the sensation before setting himself to the problem of how to extricate himself without waking her.

How much had he had to drink last night? The inevitable headache had not yet set in, but he had no very clear memory of how he’d gotten into this bed with this—he managed to pull away far enough to take a glance—blonde creature. And he generally kept his wits enough about him to slip out once the evening’s selection had drifted off. He must have been very drunk indeed.

This was, of course, the exact situation he tried to avoid. She was far too close, her head against his chest, and somehow she’d finagled herself directly into his arms. More than likely, she was the clingy type, and he’d much rather avoid a conversation before he made his exit, and that meant stealth. Somehow his left arm had ended up under her neck. How the hell was he meant to get it out? She’d certainly wake if he accidentally stabbed her with his—his—

Wait. Where—

He lifted his head to look past hers at his left arm. It did not end in a hook. It simply ended. He suddenly felt far more naked than he had a moment ago. He did not remove his hook during a tryst. Women who found the blade’s danger exciting rarely felt similarly about a stump. And where was it? Even his brace had been removed. How drunk, indeed?

Slowly, he maneuvered himself out of the tangle of their limbs. There was a small, protesting sound when he finally made his escape, but she seemed a heavy sleeper.

Controlling his trepidation, Hook stepped onto a surprisingly deep carpet and began the search for his clothes. Perhaps his prosthetic would be somewhere nearby. There were two piles of clothes on the floor, apparently examined in haste, one of which appeared mostly black, although the light in the room remained rather dim. He bent to pick it up and stared at it in consternation. These were not his clothes. The material was softer. Lighter. The coat shorter. No, he’d never worn such a thing. And there was no telltale glint of metal nearby. He cursed in frustration, remembering his intention to be silent only when he heard the rustling of bedsheets behind him.

The woman in the bed groaned, and in a voice ragged from sleep, said, “Babe, what time is it?”

Still naked, didn’t have anything resembling a watch, and a quick glance at the walls did not reveal a clock. Attempting to salvage his quest not to wake her, he murmured, “Terribly early, love. Go back to sleep.”

Completely ignoring his instruction, she pulled herself up on one arm. The blanket slipped off of her chest. She didn’t seem at all embarrassed, after whatever had happened the previous night, so he took the opportunity to look her over. He did eventually even raise his eyes to her face. Her lips were full and looked well kissed-–likely he himself deserved the credit for that. Her eyes, a very pleasant green, sparkled with amusement—perhaps related to how long it had taken his gaze to reach them. Drunk as he’d been last night, he’d had excellent taste. He was beginning to sorely regret his lack of memory.

She smirked slightly at his frank appreciation. “Where you headed so terribly early ?”

He scowled, remembering exactly why he hadn’t left. “Nowhere, without my clothes,” he said, putting an intimidating edge into his voice that cowed near everyone he used it on.

All it earned from her was a full-on grin. “Well in that case, might as well come back to bed, huh?” She patted the bed next to her.

Hook weighed his options. He didn’t remember any pressing appointments he had this morning. On the one hand, the wench had hidden his clothes—and his bloody hook . Bad form. And now she was using his apparent lack of options to keep him in her bed? No, he ought not reward this blatant manipulation. He should demand his possessions and go.

She raised an eyebrow, enticing. He should go.   In his current state of undress, there was no way of pretending disinterest. She was smiling as if she’d already won—she couldn’t be allowed the victory. But… it hardly seemed fair to have, presumably, so thoroughly pleasured this wench and not even get to remember it. He should, surely, be able to escape with a memory.

That was it. He fell onto the bed, onto her, to shake her self-assurance—to give her something that would make her miss him for the rest of her days.

_______

He understood his mistake by the time she was through. Having forgotten the previous night, he had supposed she was some woman he’d seduced. But no common woman–no noble one either–would’ve been capable of that . She could only have been a professional, at the peak of her trade. Like magic, she had known exactly what he wanted. It was as if she could read his mind, as if he’d told her exactly what he liked. She’d known his desires better than he’d known his own.

As they both lay panting, he tried to give her her due. “That was….”

She laughed, a bit breathlessly. “Worth waking up early for.”

It was now, he decided, well and truly time to take his leave.  If she’d taken his clothes, and whatever coin he had in his pockets, she'd certainly earned them. But one thing he did need. “Where the devil is my hook?”

Her brow furrowed slightly. “Is it not in the drawer?” She gestured vaguely toward a table by the bed, just next to him on the side he’d been sleeping. Seeing a drawer, he opened it experimentally. A box rested in it, a dark wood with ornate carvings. Picking it up, he saw that the designs included a ship at sea, flying a skull and crossbones. It opened easily to reveal his hook, fitting perfectly in a compartment on one side, with his brace resting on the other.

He stared for a long moment, tracing the design with his hand, and trying to make sense of its existence. “This is quite the contrivance, love.” He found himself wanting to keep it more than he was willing to admit. What need could she have of such a thing, anyway? He looked at her carefully. “Where did you come upon it?”

She laughed. “What, are you trying to get clues about this year’s? Good effort, but not going to happen. You’ll find out when you see it under the tree. No cheating!”

Not a word of what she’d just said seemed to have any relevance to his question, or any obvious meaning at all. This had to be intentional, and he wasn’t rising to the bait. He dropped the subject entirely. “Well, it’s been a pleasure, love. But I do need to be going, and I’m not sure what I’m expected to wear.”

She grimaced. “OK, so I definitely did the laundry, and I was absolutely planning to put it into the drawers… soon. I know, I know, where you’re from laundry was an all-day activity, and with washing machines it’s so easy. I know when it’s your turn it gets done immediately. But look, it’s all right here in this basket!” With this somewhat baffling sentiment, she gestured to a basket full of clothes. “Here, I’ll just get something for you today and then I’ll put away the rest… later.”

Smiling sheepishly, she pulled some garments out of the basket that looked remarkably like the ones he’d found on the floor. Oh well, at least these ones were clean.

The clothing was simple enough to figure out, but he was more interested to see what she’d put on. Women of every class looked about the same once you got them naked, but how someone dressed gave you a bit more information.Once he had pieced together how his own strange garments were assembled, he turned to her and was… stymied. She wore blue trousers of a material he did not recognize, a tight shirt and a strange short coat of what might have been leather, dyed a shade of red.

Now that the sun had come out, he looked around the room for more hints. The bedsheets, he recalled, had been extraordinarily soft, as was the carpet. He’d have guessed she was a woman of some means, although her expertise indicated how she might have made her money. But he hadn’t a clue what manner of woman dressed like that . He’d have liked to solve this mystery, but it was past time for him to leave. “Well,” he said finally, “it’s been a pleasure, but I really must take my leave of you, Miss…” he waited to see if she’d supply a name.

“Nuh-uh,” she said. “Not without breakfast. Just because Henry’s not here doesn’t mean we stop being good examples.” She gave him a wink, as if that was supposed to mean something to him.

He wanted out , but… after this morning and, presumably, last night, he certainly needed to replenish his strength. Well, if the woman wanted to make him breakfast, he supposed he could accept.

She leaned in to give him a kiss on the cheek–he really did need to leave, before the woman started having expectations— and bounded downstairs.

Hook followed more slowly, taking a moment to look around. There were pictures on the walls. One in particular arrested him. A wedding. Hers. Unmistakeable. Somehow, he hadn’t gotten the sense of infidelity from her. It certainly wasn’t something he had a particular problem with, but he could usually tell. The portrait was… strange. He couldn’t see brushstrokes. It was almost like looking through a window. She looked so… happy, in the picture. Reluctantly, he moved his eyes to the side, to her husband. He looked quickly away again, as if burned, after just a glimpse of dark hair and a pathetically besotted smile. The poor bastard. He’d certainly seen it before, but something about the man’s face, even briefly seen, made it difficult to gloat.

Perhaps she was a widow? Somehow, that didn’t feel right. There’d been no grief about her. He thought back to their interactions. Just because Henry’s not here … No, that was certainly it. The husband was away, and the wife hopped into bed with the first dashing pirate she saw. He didn’t normally judge a woman for such a thing, but in that brief glimpse of the wedding picture he’d allowed himself, he’d had a moment of…sympathy? No… pity. He didn’t seem a sniveling coward keeping his treasure of a wife in a hovel, cursing her with his own reputation. The woman in the picture had glowed with joy. He wondered briefly what had gone wrong in their marriage to cause her to sneak around. A woman like that was probably difficult to satisfy.

He considered taking another look at the picture, but something deep inside of him rebelled.

He allowed himself brief glances at a few more pictures. The blonde woman and another man and woman, unmistakably a couple. The blonde woman and a dark-haired woman he instantly disliked–he didn’t look at her for too long. Something about her face hit him the wrong way. The two of them were hugging a boy. He looked at the child a bit longer, something striking a chord in him. Was the blonde woman the mother, or the brunette? Suddenly, thoughts of Baelfire entered his mind, until he forcibly shook them out. Forget breakfast–he needed to leave.

But between him and the front door was the woman, who’d set a place for him at the table, and the aroma of bacon and eggs was difficult to ignore. He wasn’t sure how the bacon was ready so fast—perhaps the cook had been working on it while they’d been upstairs. He hoped her servants were discreet, although this likely wasn’t the first time. They’d certainly made themselves scarce–he hadn’t seen a hint of a person in the house other than the two of them. Perhaps they were changing the sheets before the husband returned.

He glanced around the room. No pictures in here, at least. The setup was strange—in this room, there were large box-shaped objects all around, one of which she had just closed, and in the room he’d just walked through there appeared to be a small tree with baubles on it. He supposed that was how they set up their houses in… his mind stopped short, unable to recall which port he was in.

The woman was smiling at him expectantly. Without conscious consideration, he sat down at the table and lifted a fork.

“So,” she said, “what are your big plans today that you absolutely had to wake up for?”

His big plans, as she put it, involved leaving port as soon as possible, but he was reluctant to say so. This woman seemed to think she had some sort of right to his plans. She might take offense to the fact that he’d be gone forever before the sun set again. “Just… checking on things,” he evaded.

Her eyes widened with interest. “Things related to a certain… event… a week away?”

He frowned. What was a week away? He tried to calculate. If today was… he stopped short. What was the date, again? Worry began to set in in earnest. He looked away from the woman, trying to remember… remember…

“Okay, I get it,” she said, laughing. “No hints from me means no hints from you.”

The woman was very pretty, Hook decided, but at least half of what she said was nonsense. And something was nagging at him about what she’d said during this morning’s festivities…He’d been too preoccupied with the sensations to take any particular note of her words, but…

He ate the food she’d set in front of him with his mind elsewhere.

When he became aware that she’d been speaking, it was clearly not the first time she’d spoken. “Hellooo? Earth to Killian? We got an early start but I am actually going to be late if I don’t head out.”

“Right,” he said, trying to shake himself from his reverie. Late to what , he wondered idly, but that wasn’t quite what had bothered him. “I’d best head out myself.” Good, something about this place was getting to him. The sooner he was back on the Jolly, the better.

He stepped out the door before her, so she could lock up, and looked around the world. There was a strange sense of wrongness to everything. The houses looked… unusual. There were one or two people on the street in strange garb, more or less like what the blonde wore–like what he wore. And there was a large yellow… thing in the yard that–

Hook cursed loudly as something sped by faster than anything had any right to go.

“Hey! You ok, babe?” the blonde woman asked.

She seemed so completely unfazed that he was loath to admit to a moment’s fear. “Of course,” he lied. There was a tense moment where she considered whether to accept his answer. With as wide of a smile as he could muster, he said “Well. Goodbye, then.”

She hesitated a moment longer, and finally leaned in and kissed him on the lips. Walking away from him as he stood, a bit dazed, she called “Love you!” over her shoulder, and opened what turned out to be a door on the yellow monstrosity. He watched as it started to move, and before he knew it, the thing was out of sight.

After another moment of standing still, looking after her, wondering what she’d meant by “love,” he finally started to make his way in a direction he hoped was toward the docks, staying to the side where the surprisingly large, incredibly loud, remarkably fast abominations were not.

It was just as he caught sight of the sea–indeed in the direction his instincts had taken him, that he figured it out. What was strange about her words in bed, and her words to him when he’d been distracted this morning.

She’d called him “Killian.”