#otherwise my dad will be pissed i left water down there
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contagious-addiction · 1 year ago
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One day i will be freed from being woken up at 2am by my cat
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extracrispycolonelw · 2 years ago
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October_10th_1993.docx
CW Self Harm / Suicide, dark themes
I remember summer.
            The summer of nineteen-ninety-one was a good one. Heat was awful, but that was nothing new. Patricia Troutman announced to all her friends that she was pregnant with her third. Eddy Maher was back home from a six-year stint in County after the drunk driving incident on the road eastbound from Muldraugh with the six-year-old girl. Police had to tase him so bad he pissed his self; dumb old Eddy had gotten drunk and tried stealing his mama’s suburban. Brandon’s girl, Hope, got hit by a car a week after that, I think. My dog died that same July. Quieted down for a while, although the Sheriff raised some hell at the town meeting that first week of August, some mean ole sumbitch crashed into a schoolbus. Buncha kids from Riverside Elementary, heading down to Louisville for a trip. Some field trip that oughta been.
            Winter of ‘ninety-one entering into ‘ninety-two wasn’t too bad neither. Lucy, that lovely, lovely Cadillac Fleetwood Sixty Special that dad gave me, she broke down, had to have Ben get her fixed up. Fucker charged me an arm and a leg. Had to pawn off half of ma’s jewelry just to pay for it. Some asshole, George I think, he moved to Valley Station from Raleigh, he got a bad cough, the reverend formed a mob. They beat him to death. Seeing a holy man beat an honest Christian to death in the street, it ain’t right. Better than eating them, I think, though.
            ‘Ninety-two was a quiet year otherwise. Couple of murders. Some girl from Muldraugh got outted by her parents, she was pregnant. Think it was some guy, she was young though. Found her body splattered across the highway, not a hundred feet away from the Spiffo’s. Sheriff’s deputy said it was a tractor trailer that hit her. I saw it, on my way back from visiting Dad. Nasty as all hell. Summer was hazy. A lot of drinking and a lot of coke. Lucy got stole by some prick, think it got sold to the asshole who runs the used car dealership on the road south out of Westpoint. Pastor of my church that replaced the reverend, he let me sleep in the back. Good man, letting a prostitute sleep in his church.
            ‘Ninety-three’s turning out to be an awful year. It’s October tenth. All this shit started back in… July, I think. Pastor came at me with half a face, think it was the ninth. Screwdriver through the eye put him out of his misery… and I think it was misery, how his guts were all hanging out of him.
            Got the hell outta dodge as soon as possible. Couldn’t get a car so I just walked after I scrounged around in the middle school. Stole some books, some food. Then I just… just walked, and walked, went on for miles. Ran out of water fast. Thought I was gonna die after a while. Lot of cars on the road, no drivers.
            Nearly ran out of water, while down the road past Westpoint. Got lucky though… bunch of douchebags in camo and safety vests set up camp off the side of the road. Had a pot of water, clean water. Kept me going till I got to a rest stop. Had a Spiffo’s, an Army Surplus and a gas station, I managed to steal a suburban, drove past a pile-up outside of Muldraugh and kept going until I was out of that Godforsaken town. So many people out, none of them were alive. Half-eaten bodies all over town, more abandoned cars. Dead cops, jersey barriers and police SUVs cordoning off half the goddamn town.
            Made it to Rosewood after a day or two of driving. Fire Department and PD were sacked. PD Armoury wasn’t though. Beat a cop without a jaw till his head was soup, took his key, stole some guns and fished around the fire department. It was defensible, so I decided to settle down there. July went, August came. I trained my hand at woodworking, learned how to shoot. Got good with taking care of my things. August was a lot of picking through the shit left in the super market, getting all the rotten food stashed away for composting and keeping all the non-perishables for myself. Fence around the fire department kept the dead out, although that wasn’t to say I didn’t see none. Hurt to do at first… but after a while I got numb to it, y’know? Like learning a new skill or hunting for the first time. Ain’t like killing deer, though. Even with their faces all rotten and decrepit… they were people. Still looked like people. About two-thousand or so in and I stopped feeling it.
            September came ‘round and I had cabbages instead of shitty canned food, chips and chocolate. Found a military APC, one of the big boxy tracked ones, crashed into some station wagon down the road. Still worked, too. Little while of messing with it, and it was mine. Took a trip up to the fort up the ways, Redstone. Got plenty of guns, plenty of ammo, came back. That made three thousand or so. Spent the rest of the month knocking down the walls inside the fire department and fixing up the perimeter. Broken down cars, fortified wooden walls, dumpsters. Everything I could find. Metal plates, bars, everything, it all was nailed and welded together. Moved all the shelves upstairs, started organizing everything.
            October came, and the morning of October first, a helicopter crashed into the police building. Burned for a while, then the dead came. Took my guns and started shooting until I didn’t hear pounding on my walls. Climbed out and kept shooting until I stopped hearing the moaning and the growling. Started drinking after that—stayed inside, the smell was so rank. Today is October Tenth. I write this as I watch my home burn down, with nothing to do but stay out of the way as all the ammo cooks off and detonates from inside. I heard the generator blow at around three in the morning, started a fire I knew I wouldn’t be able to stop. Grabbed my bugout bag and I ran. Got outside and watched it all burn.
            I’m gonna go home tomorrow. Find a nice handgun, some ammo, and burn it all down. The church. My dad’s house. All of it. Nothing left to do anymore. Goodbye, Knox Country.
            RIP Holly Knight, 10/09/1966 – 10/10/1993.
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timeoverload · 5 months ago
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Today was a total shit show. I wasn't expecting it to be that bad. I got to work and everything was going great for 30 minutes. Then the power went out suddenly and the back-up generator didn't turn on right away like it's supposed to so all of our equipment shut down. When the generator turned on, most of the hospital was still dark because it only sends electricity to important areas including our department. I'm glad I didn't have to work in the dark but I was pissed because cases hadn't even started yet and they put them on hold. The schedule was very busy today. I had 27 cases. They don't start surgeries when we are running on generator power. I understand why but it's still annoying. I sat and waited for a while but I decided to try to go get breakfast since I knew I wasn't going to have time to eat otherwise. The cafeteria was dark but the lady that serves the food was still working anyway. I had to use a flashlight while I was eating.
It took almost an hour to get power back. Apparently the outage was caused by some faulty underground wires. I was hoping they weren't going to fix it because I wanted to go home. I know we never shut down for anything though. They never send us home unless we are sick. When we got like 22 inches of snow about 4 or 5 years ago, they tried to force everyone to come in. It wasn't safe for patients or employees so I don't know why they were staying open to do elective surgeries. I tried to call in because I couldn't get there and my dad couldn't get out either but they threatened to send someone to pick me up. I was not comfortable being in the car with a stranger so I had to make other arrangements but I wasn't really comfortable with that either. I had to get a ride from my ex's dad and he was a creep and I didn't like being around him by myself. I guess I made it there at least. Most of the people in my department didn't show up so I was really mad about that. I shouldn't have to take risks like that for work. I would understand if we were a trauma hospital, but we're not. We don't do a lot of emergency surgeries for anything other than eyes. Occasionally we will have an add-on for a fracture or an appendectomy or something like that but that only happens a couple times a month.
Anyway, I was super irritated by the time I had to start working. I wasn't feeling very motivated. The doctor working in the morning had 14 regular phacos/cataract surgeries and a corneal transplant. He usually is done with surgeries by 12:30 but he wasn't finished until 1:45. I only took a 15 minutes lunch because I had too much shit to do. The doctor working in the afternoon did 12 cases in 2 hours. I felt like I was going to throw up and I was drenched in sweat. It was also really hot in our department because the thermostat got messed up when the power went out. Both of the sterrad machines and all 8 autoclaves were running so that didn't help. The washers were all running constantly all day too. It was so humid in decontam. I forgot to drink water because I was moving so fast. I am dehydrated now. I had a pile of stuff to do at the end of the day and I worked as fast as I could to get most of it done in 20 minutes. I could not handle staying late and I wanted to avoid going in early tomorrow. I didn't get everything done but the important stuff is out of the way. I didn't even look at the schedule tomorrow but I'm sure it's going to be bad. Every Thursday sucks now. I'm not looking forward to that but I probably should stop thinking about it.
I was so mad when I left because I didn't have the energy to go do the things I had planned on doing all day. I really wanted to go to the store because there are things I need. It was also too hot and my car felt like an oven. I have been wanting to wear shorts but I feel like a sasquatch. I hate being this hairy because it's uncomfortable for me but I will try to deal with that this weekend. I know it is going to take a while and I'm dreading that. I stopped and got food because I knew I wouldn't want to get up again after I sat down. I also had to take a quick shower when I got home because I was way too sweaty. I feel a little better now since I ate and took a shower. My body still hurts really bad. I am probably going to relax for a little while and get ready for bed. I think I'm going to try to go to sleep earlier again. I don't really have much else to say and my brain feels fried so I can't think anymore. Hopefully I can make tomorrow a good day.
I hope everyone else has a good day tomorrow too. 💖💖💖
Maxwell, thank you for giving me some reassurance. That makes me feel a lot better. You make me happy. :) I love you. 💖💖💖
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maxthornes · 5 months ago
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I'm angry and ranting about my (hopefully) soon to not be roommate of a cousin in here. Don't read if you don't want to be mad.
I'm so fucking tired of my roommate being so inconsiderate. It's only gotten worse since she got a boyfriend.
We have 1 AC unit, and she has it in her room with the door constantly closed, TV blaring at any given hour.
She knows weed gives me panic attacks, but is still blasting the whole house with smoke every day.
She goes to the food pantry with the car she's borrowing from a friend, while DoorDash ordering name brand stuff from Target while crying woe about money and how she HAS to go to the pantry, meanwhile stealing mine and my fiancé's food we have to beg to use the car to pick up. (Which is a """"secret"""" to her friend that her bf and I have been driving it, even though said boyfriend has a car, and they always seem to take the friend's car RIGHT AFTER my fiancé and I have put gas into it)
Even though I'm queer and so is my mother, the bitch still LOVES Chick-fil-A and is constantly trying to get me to try it, and talking about how much she LOVED working there (even though she was quietly fired for celebrating my mom's wedding to her wife)
I constantly have to watch out for her dog and cats so they don't piss and shit over everything I own, and SPEAKING of the animals, I can't remember the last time she bought litter or cat food, nor the last time she cleaned a litter box (the cats are no longer ALLOWED upstairs by her order, and the litter box that WAS in the laundry room up here has no litter in it, but sure has piss and shit in it 😒) there are several cats in this house, more than half of which are hers, but she doesn't care for them.
She BROKE my toilet and shower head, but swears up and down that she doesn't know what happened, melted all of my makeup, lets her food rot in the fridge before bemoaning how she has "nothing" while the only reason my fiancé and I have had ANYTHING TO START WITH is that he works for a decent grocery chain.
Oh!
And she has been on "leave" with her job for 8 months, 6 of which were unpaid leave, because she lied to her job about taking care of her actually disabled father, and they only allow so much time of that to be paid. She recently started working again, and she's EVEN WORSE NOW and practically flaunting the fact that she has money back in our faces.
She fucked off to her boyfriend's house 2 hours away leaving us with no transportation during INSANE rain storms WITH NO WATER AND ALL OF THE ANIMALS TO TAKE CARE OF, and when she was like "oh, my dad should have covered that, oopsies" and admitted he had no money for the OVER $400 BILL, I went into debt to my mother to get the bill paid, and it's a MIRACLE she had the money to pay it. The water went unpaid the entirety of the first 3 months we lived her.
She also RECENTLY shoved a $150 internet bill AND $200 backed electricity bill onto my fiancé because she "didn't have money".
She's loud, inconsiderate, a liar, a thief, and I CANNOT WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Fiancé and I lost our car in an accident I was involved in a year and a half ago, and it left me with an essentially disabled spine, so I LEGITIMATELY haven't been able to work, but I also can't get assistance because I'm waiting on the lawsuit to finalize (I'm not at fault, it was an international company's employee who caused the crash, and I've got a decent enough lawyer that I can get back into physical therapy AND get a car from the settlement, hopefully) and I have been advised by my attorney to not seek disability until after the payment, otherwise it could cause issues with getting government assistance, which I qualify for.
Anyway, hopefully in a month I'm across town, and she realizes she's on her own with ALL of the bills and the mortgage she was confident she could take over from her dad 😒😒😒 I'm so fucking done, and this isn't even scratching the surface of all the shit, and I WILL NOT be forgiving her for scamming my fiancé and I for the last two and a half fucking years.
I hope they serve Starbucks in Hell, you absolutely cunt.
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punkscowardschampions · 1 year ago
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Janis & Casey Pt.1
Janis: Are you in seclusion? 
Janis: Just saw Lucas stropping off to the head
Casey: Least ‘til dad gets here, he were on about ringing him
Janis: He cannot be serious
Janis: I know it weren’t as dramatic as [the most OTT rumour about what went down]
Casey: dead, he can’t hack the twat I made him look
Janis: Someone should tell him he never looks no different
Casey: I did do
Janis: Yeah but I’m not sure the way you did it had him listening
Janis: I’ll go find him
Casey: he heard, half the school an’ all even before it went ‘round rest
Janis: No need to involve Ian about it, not a competition of who can be the loudest, like
Casey: don't matter, he’ll be on my side when he’s heard it
Janis: What was it about, anyway
Janis: no one was too fussed about that detail
Casey: nor am I, he’s never not trying to make us look a dickhead, every chance, I took mine while he were still pissing about
Janis: That is his kink, along with using his red biro, obvs
Janis: he’s a joke, no one takes him serious unless they’re proper messed up and want him to touch them up
Casey: about to say, you missed off his biggest, nonce is what he is
Casey: not a crime not to wear a skirt to class unless you’re in his, my only, that
Janis: You can borrow one of mine, no worries
Casey: 😏 I’d have a few, mate
Janis: Nah, we all know he’s too pussy to actually do anything, you’ll be grand
Casey: didn’t mean problems off him, like
Janis: You’re right, Ian won’t care, will he
Casey: he’d care if I dressed myself up as a lass for a day, but about this bollocks, nah
Janis: Sure, we’d all have complicated feelings about it
Janis: Good, you enjoy your peace and quiet in there then
Casey: only yourself to blame if you set them rumours going again
Janis: 🙄🖕 you’re hilarious, boy
Casey: I get it, right slim pickings in your year far as fit lasses, but calm yourself down, no need to start turning the lads into ‘em or you’ll be having your own calls home
Janis: Whatever was in the water that year was toxic, clearly 👹👹
Janis: They stopped bothering ages ago, she’s on her redo kids, yeah, far too busy
Casey: I’d not answer either if I reckoned dickheads on the other end was giving me a bell to say they’re sectioning the other half the childcare, been there done it as a single mum
Janis: Only my mother could have worse taste in women than she does in men
Janis: least all she does is rot in her room, poor Bobby be terrified otherwise
Casey: there’d be no room for him, she had taste, I’d have moved myself in from the off
Janis: oh so you’d do it if she said so, pisstake
Casey: or she had a fit missus she was all over all over the place, not fussy either way, me
Janis: 🤮
Janis: not even had any lunch to lose yet, dickhead
Casey: it were you putting the idea about
Janis: It’s not that bad, basically everyone has pissed off so we get left to ourselves, honest
Casey: yeah, you sounded proper buzzing to be there then, cosied up with your own mummified other mum
Janis: it’s not even like that, she’s like a grandma in the attic or something
Janis: anyway, go ahead and rub it in how great it is having the whole place to yourself, I’ll allow it
Casey: looks nowt like your fit nan neither, you’ll have to try harder to get us through the door
Janis: 😏 some mate
Janis: I shouldn’t have to make you a sodding list of pros
Casey: we’d only fall out under the same roof
Janis: Absence makes the heart grow fonder’s a charming way to call us a nightmare
Casey: not you, it’s who you wake up next to
Janis: Guess you’re welcome for taking him away then
Janis: it’s been better?
Casey: Always is when there’s no girls about
Janis: My condolences to Ian 💔
Janis: though girl is really pushing the age limit of that word there
Casey: nah, I mean him
Janis: and what am I then
Casey: a lass is different from a girl, you know that
Casey: he’s a pussy, you have one, 1st is his own fault, you can’t help yours
Janis: Tah, very generous of you
Casey: I can’t help being in a top mood neither
Janis: fucking with Lucas will do that to you, I get it
Casey: course you do
Janis: you’re sure I can’t go annoy him about this? Spoilsport
Casey: since when do you do as you’re told
Janis: I don’t fancy you chucking a chair at me about it too
Janis: if you’re good, you’re good
Casey: I chucked a table, have it right
Janis: Oh, I’m soz, SO much more impressive, will correct the gossip for you
Casey: tah
Janis: 💪💪💪
Janis: Hopefully your dad follows suit, at least verbally and Lucas cries off my last lesson with him 🤞
Casey: he’s gonna keep on acting like a woman, my dad’ll put him in line like one
Janis: right, not exactly a showdown for the ages, the pair of them
Casey: over before I get to my pisstake count of 10
Janis: She come and found you yet?
Janis: patronising shoulder pat is what you need right now
Casey: she’ll have the kettle on, solves everything
Janis: *when your degree is written in crayon
Janis: Basically giving you a treat for it, stupid cow 🐶
Casey: deserve it, don’t I
Casey: didn’t kneecap him but still a hero for calling a nonce a nonce round here
Janis: I wouldn’t go that far but that’s why my 🐶 behave better than any kid in this dump
Casey: All about tough love, you
Janis: Living proof of the alternative being for shit, just about
Casey: and I’m proof other side the street’s as shit, with sod all but dead grass
Janis: Don’t worry yourself, I’m not gonna have any
Janis: potential 👿 spawn safe from how much of a bitch I am and how shite everywhere is
Casey: gutted you never meant grass, had me wondering all sorts about where you was gonna piss off to
Janis: have to be a boat or a plane to get off of this island first, after that, who knows
Casey: be over your allowance with his dead weight’s what I know
Janis: Come on
Casey: what
Janis: I know you’ve passports, immigrants
Janis: be a really fucking bad state of affairs if you came here under a lorry
Casey: I get it, you’re after seeing my photo
Janis: Awh, you just got your big boy one, like
Casey: just ‘cause we ain’t all having our photos done every 2 minutes, love
Janis: wrong twin
Casey: nah, much as she’s tried to chuck herself in front of his 📷 a fair few times, still you who’s his muse
Janis: Thank fuck for the self-timer, eh Gracie
Janis: his fault for taking it as a lesson, blind me with the flash at this rate
Casey: done you a list of his faults ages ago
Janis: not a pros and cons list we’ll ever be on the same page on, I doubt
Casey: no shit, you reckon there’s pros, for a start
Janis: A bit different, I don’t rate any of my brothers and sisters either
Casey: you rated the one who’s gone, close I’m gonna be to having your permission to kill him, til he points his 📷 at some other lass
Janis: people who are gone get to skip out on being disappointing, I suppose
Janis: who knows how much she could wreck it, given the chance
Janis: and you know he won’t do that
Casey: might do in your house, in ours, dad’ll go on and on about how disappointed he is
Janis: If there’s anyone worth disappointing
Casey: you’d know loads about that
Janis: No way, thought he liked me 
Casey: you couldn’t have picked someone more worth it, love you for it, he will
Janis: not a choice, ask anyone, I’m famously hard to get along with
Casey: I’m not bothered by their opinions on owt, I’ve my own
Janis: Yeah, that is true about you, s’why you’re alright
Casey: leave it out about my dad and you’re alright too
Janis: I’m not trying to change your mind, know that’d be a pointless thing to do
Janis: I can let him know the feeling is mutual though
Casey: how do you expect him to feel, you’ve taken them to yours, pissed off and left him
Janis: He hasn’t said or done anything about it
Casey: he’s said loads, I’ve stopped him doing something for yours and our kid’s sake
Janis: You know that’s not what’s meant
Casey: I know you’re taking the piss, you and Jim both
Janis: If he wants the kid, he knows where he is
Janis: it’s not like he’s been kidnapped
Casey: what do you want him for
Janis: He doesn’t feel safe with him
Casey: our kid dunno what unsafe is
Janis: There’s levels, you’d hate it if Jim played that card on you
Casey: he don’t have no cards to play against me, hard done by’s his favourite game, you shouldn’t need telling by now
Janis: It’s not up to me, it’s between you lot but Bob is happy right now, I know that much
Casey: you heard me say I were leaving him there, stopping my dad from coming round’s been up to me and I have done 
Janis: You shouldn’t have to be his keeper
Casey: he shouldn’t be left here to rot, he’s done fuck all wrong
Janis: He has but that’s your shout, end of the day
Casey: taking his side and only listening to it’s yours
Janis: I know what I’ve seen but yeah
Janis: got no sway over you, if you say you’re alright then I have to take your word for it
Casey: you’ve seen what he wants you to when he comes crying to you, none of how he gets there
Janis: There’s no excusing it
Casey: you dunno what you’re on about, you never will
Janis: if you like, Case
Casey: if you like, stay with your hippie mum
Janis: Options are limited
Casey: your POV is, that ain’t the real world, how it works
Janis: The real world is if any of you told anyone what he does, he’d be banged up, and you know that
Casey: you’ve told me before you know what it’s like, weren’t that real
Janis: I know why you don’t say anything, wouldn’t
Casey: you cut me slack, why not my dad
Janis: It don’t work for adults, someone has to hold their feet to the fire or they carry on
Janis: you’re a kid, you’ve got time
Casey: piss off am I, Bob’s a kid
Janis: compared to your dad, then, I’m not calling you a young man like I’m 70, tah
Casey: no dickhead’s helped him, what’s it matter how old he is, people either give a shit or they don’t
Janis: It gets old as you do, then you end up alone
Janis: I’ve seen it happen, not just my hippie mother I’ve been dubiously ‘raised’ by
Casey: he’ll not end up like that
Janis: He still has you for now
Casey: I’m off nowhere, he’s my dad
Janis: then he’s lucky
Casey: he stayed put 1st
Janis: I know
Casey: you dunno nothing, bollocks has Jim said a word about her
Janis: It don’t take a genius, one parent is here, the other ain’t
Janis: hardly calling myself Einstein with it
Casey: get in his face instead of mine, that’s your job, like
Janis: Right, pretend it’s the same
Casey: come on, we’re nothing alike
Janis: Me and you or you and him?
Casey: none of us, how it sounds
Janis: I’m nothing like my own twin so wouldn’t hold out hope for it
Casey: alright
Janis: this has all got a bit 🎻 I’m off
Casey: in a bit 
Janis: [the suitable pause for Ian to be the dick we, unfortunately, know him to be/Casey to miss some kind of predetermined meet and we just know]
Janis: the 🐶🐶s are handled but can I get you anything whilst I’m out?
Casey: Nah
Janis: I’ll just drop it at the door, or aim it in your window
Casey: you heard
Janis: Yeah but my stance on doing what I’m told’s not changed
Janis: I won’t say anything, swear
Casey: it’s been said, I don’t fucking want nothing off you
Janis: You need it
Casey: I’ve no need of you being a massive smug bitch
Janis: fuck off do I feel smug
Casey: my answer’s not changed
Janis: You can complain all you want, I don’t care
Casey: wrong one
Janis: fine, you’re in no position to fight me, either way, I’ll get what I want
Casey: really wrong one, I could knock you out even if he had me
Janis: we’ll see, won’t we
Casey: I better not bloody see you, girl
Janis: You’ll be less moody when you’ve got some decent painkillers in you, boy
Casey: I can sort my own out if needed
Casey: label’s barely reading
Janis: and have you?
Casey: I’m alright
Janis: You’re stubborn
Casey: and what
Janis: and I’m better at it than you
Casey: you reckon you are at everything
Janis: It’s a real curse
Casey: 💔
Janis: Look, you’ll already not talk to me about none of it, it’s the least you can do, alright
Casey: I don’t owe you shit, get your head round that
Janis: You feel like a dickhead, I’ve not called you one
Casey: be how you look at me I let you in, I’m not having it
Janis: come on, no I won’t
Casey: I ain’t thick, nor am I soft
Janis: not words I’ve called you either
Janis: I can’t just leave you
Casey: I’ve already been left, just stick to it
Janis: That’s how you want it, it’s easier
Janis: this is different
Casey: what this is is sod all to do with you
Janis: It’s enough to do with me that I’m not ignoring it
Casey: fuck’s sake
Janis: you should’ve thought up a good reason to cancel on me
Casey: I overslept, you never bothered asking
Janis: You went along with what I suspected, be why
Casey: you’re doing my head in
Janis: yeah?
Casey: yeah, piss off, can’t you
Janis: you can go back to bed if you just let me do what I need to do, instead of arguing back
Casey: What do you need to do
Janis: Give you a once over, assess the situation
Casey: I told you I can take care of myself
Janis: I heard
Casey: be his nurse whenever you fancy, he gets off on it
Janis: don’t need the hint
Casey: you’re not taking none of my others, worth a go
Janis: it’s tactical, like
Casey: it’s patronising, love, there’s fuck all you can do else I can’t
Janis: that’s not the point of doing things for people, don’t have to be
Casey: the point is save yourself the trip to see us 🤕
Janis: you’d rather sulk and lick your wounds
Janis: Alright
Casey: up to me, my wounds
Janis: it isn’t just about you though
Casey: You’re not bringing him here
Janis: You can’t be left alone with him
Casey: if you’re coming to have a look, only you are
Casey: bring that dickhead and you’ll be patching him up instead
Janis: He isn’t here, he’s working
Janis: you wouldn’t have agreed to coming before if he was about
Casey: keep your mouth shut to him or you’re not getting near
Janis: would it be that awful to know he cares
Casey: he don’t, he’d be chuffed to bits to say I told you so and yours is pisstake enough
Janis: that’s bollocks, no one is over the moon about any of this
Casey: he cares about getting one over on our dad, taking everything off him, where else am I in it
Janis: They’re coming back here, this hasn’t worked
Janis: you’re not coming anywhere, offer’s revoked
Casey: play happy families where you like
Janis: I said them, not me
Janis: I’m not stupid, I know that’ll not help anything
Casey: nor me, it’ll not last
Janis: It’ll have to
Casey: such bollocks
Janis: he can come see me
Casey: tell Jim, not us
Janis: I will, don’t need to ruin his shift with it
Casey: 👌 be what you’ll get off him too
Janis: ‘cos you’re loads better
Casey: what were it you said about pretending it’s the same
Janis: if you remembered, you could take the advice, shame
Casey: I’m meant to keep my distance, he’s not
Janis: I’ve never said he does
Casey: it don’t need saying, how close are you when he talks with nowt but 👍
Janis: you’re just trying to get me to piss off again
Casey: I said you could come here, you who went back on it
Janis: I’m on my way
Janis: You know how long it takes [a particularly fat and old dog] to get anywhere
Casey: blame [this dog]
Janis: what are you trying to blame me for?
Casey: I know pissing about when I see it
Janis: You would be familiar
Casey: it ain’t that bad, you can calm yourself down about how you reckon I might look
Janis: none of it was that bad, why’d he fly off the handle about it this time?
Casey: I kicked off at school, he kicked off at home
Casey: so what, like
Janis: He needs a hobby
Casey: don’t, alright
Janis: fine, fine, we won’t talk about it
Janis: and you’ve patched yourself up, yeah?
Casey: there’s nothing to have a chat about, we’re as bad as each other, me and him
Janis: Hardly
Casey: he was fuming ‘cause of me, I was fuming ‘cause of Lucas, no difference
Janis: You never said what Lucas did anyway
Casey: I said it don’t matter, he were just getting at me
Janis: he’s such a prick, I could always key his car again
Casey: there ain’t gonna be a desk between us every time, one day
Janis: No one’ll deserve it more, like
Casey: don’t go near his car, yeah, can’t have you going missing an’ all
Janis: You should be so lucky, he tried that, it weren’t happening
Casey: he’ll have mates he’s told since, how fit you are, be a whole ring ready and waiting
Janis: don’t threaten me with a good time
Janis: he’s definitely got no mates, not even noncy ones
Casey: I dunno, online you can be whatever dickhead you want, you’re wasting it, might be he’s not
Janis: Sounding like YOU fancy him now
Janis: his socials won’t be that good
Casey: how is it, I’m warning YOU
Janis: you’re sweet
Casey: shut up
Janis: 😏🤐
Casey: I did just oversleep, I was gonna show up
Janis: then what, let me get the fright of my life at the sight of you
Casey: you’re not Bob, you can hack it
Janis: so much faith in us
Casey: it’s only some blood, lasses do that all the time, what school taught us in their special assembly
Janis: Well done for paying attention, come in handy for you not freaking out when you encounter it
Casey: 😏 yeah, so it’s alright if that’s why you’re being mardy
Janis: feminist of the year right here
Casey: I reckon my nose’s broke, we’re probably about even bleeding wise
Janis: Look like you’re on the football team
Janis: do you want it resetting or what
Casey: I had a go but it was having none of it
Janis: It’s harder to sort yourself
Janis: just sit on your hands when I give it a shot
Casey: sound like your shit nan with that advice
Janis: 😂 That’s real wishful thinking
Janis: only after saving my own nose, weird to be matching on that one
Casey: I’d not smack you, you’re alright
Janis: it’s just a reflex
Casey: it’s happened before, I never smacked Jim then and you know I’d take any excuse
Janis: ‘Course
Janis: there you go then, go mental 🤚🖐
Casey: this’ll be 3rd time, lucky you or lucky me, either or
Janis: You’ll heal beautifully then, no worries
Janis: any good stories or nah?
Casey: same story, so nah
Janis: He’s predictable
Casey: bones break easier the more they do, he’s getting older, he needs the hand
Janis: Yeah, my ankles never been the same, absolute joke
Janis: what about the rest of you?
Casey: Joke how you broke it in the 1st place, mate
Janis: beyond embarrassing is right
Casey: for him
Casey: what sort of lad
Janis: Shh, or I’ll make your nose worse for a laugh
Casey: go on then
Janis: 😏
Casey: I’ll blame [a different dog who is a little shit] see what cash his owners’ll chuck us to shut me up
Janis: *fix it, you’d be a nightmare if I ruined your pulling chances
Casey: lasses love a scar and that, I’ll be well in
Janis: right, a scar, not a picasso painting
Casey: [some weird girl who is known throughout the school for being lol] would fancy us
Janis: What a perfect match, n’awh
Casey: oi, piss off, you’re meant to be a mate, say I can do better
Janis: your ego needs no help, I know that about you
Casey: come on, a lass is about to sort my 👃 ‘cause I couldn’t
Casey: ego’s most bruised of all of me
Janis: 🥺 boy
Casey: make me feel better, like
Janis: 😤😠😡🤬 when I try, more like, barely got away with painkillers and a checkup
Casey: don’t sound like me
Janis: perfect patient now you like the sound of it, be about right
Casey: 😤😠😡🤬’s gone
Janis: I was always going to bring [some of his fave treats] an’ all
Casey: Have you got loads more work to piss off to
Janis: Only had this morning lot and an evening walk today so, no
Casey: can you hang about then, for a bit
Janis: ‘course, if you unlock the door for me
Janis: Better not break in
Casey: it’d really cheer me up if you broke a window or something though
Janis: 😌
Janis: if you’re lucky, and up to it
Casey: 3rd time, remember, ‘course I am
Janis: ☘️ right at home, you
Casey: feels like it
Janis: I’ll let you choose what we’re watching, as your fake therapist has really tainted a cuppa as a peace offering
Casey: Face/off 
Janis: 🤣 fuck’s sake, too good a shout, even if I have to put up with Nick Cage and John Travolta
Casey: mate, you can’t get enough of Hairspray, I’ve seen you
Janis: Maybe you would be if it were about YOUR civil rights, arsehole
Casey: 😂
Casey: nowt to do with Zac Efron, obviously
Janis: Before he got all ‘roided out and ugly 💔
Casey: we had a PE teacher on it at my old school, too easy to wind up, him
Janis: I mean, you’d have a lot to cry about if you had cystic acne, no hair and shrunken balls
Casey: and it were all to teach kids to climb a rope, no olympics or nothing
Janis: What a waste
Casey: northern kids at that
Janis: Imagine looking like a junkie with your trackmarks for that
Casey: fucking hell, feel top about the state of my life now, tah sir
Janis: An inspiration after all
Casey: even ending up in prison how Lucas’ inspirational speech reckons don’t sound as shit in comparison, like
Janis: 🙄 he knows if he ends up behind bars he’s not lasting a day, full of shit, like
Casey: worth going to track him down in the nonce block
Janis: you’re not going anywhere
Casey: not to English for ages
Janis: if that’s meant to be punishment, a shit one
Casey: all he does is pick on us to read shit out to the class anyway
Janis: you should ask to move class, fuck him
Janis: make them put you in [another teacher’s class] she’s easy as
Casey: said she’s too scared to have me in hers
Janis: so’s he, why should he be the one always getting a table to the chin
Janis: just don’t go
Casey: alright, write us a note before you finish with your happy families bollocks and chuck Jim and our kid out
Janis: They’re that useless, used my dad’s signature until he pegged it like he had anything to do with us
Janis: s’not that simple, is it
Casey: Isn’t it?
Janis: yous are an actual family, that’s more important
Casey: we haven’t been since she nipped out to the shops, if you’re doing it for that, don’t, pissed up the wall long before you
Janis: It just don’t feel right
Casey: keep on telling you being with him’s a massive mistake, be why
Janis: I don’t know why you do
Casey: I’m your mate and you deserve better
Janis: Everyone knows good friends lie shamelessly to your face
Casey: I don’t, he’s not good enough for nobody, nevermind you
Janis: He’s far better than me, at this, you just don’t know about it
Casey: I know him and I know you
Janis: it’s just different when you get to be alone with someone
Casey: yeah
Janis: It’ll be alright, my nan lives close enough, I’ll just crash there
Casey: Tell her hey from us 😏
Janis: If I must 😒
Casey: buzzing to be close by if she needs me
Janis: You’ll want to develop some useful skills first, mate
Casey: I’ve loads, YOU just don’t know about it
Janis: Thank God, like
Casey: go on, protest harder
Janis: making me sick ain’t gonna change who’s nursing who here, soz
Casey: 🤏
Janis: I didn’t bring supplies for two
Casey: you’re alright, holding hair back and that’s one of my skills
Casey: and I get wanting a demo of some of ‘em
Janis: Ridiculous, you are
Janis: and my stomach is stronger than that, clearly all the blood I’ve seen
Casey: another time, I’m off nowhere
Janis: don’t think they let you visit two at once so, best behaviour
Casey: okay
Janis: that wasn’t so hard, was it
Casey: Who else has been going round saying I’m hard work
Janis: Obviously confused you with some other gobby little twat
Casey: dickheads
Janis: can’t trust the way people chat ‘round here, like
Casey: you can me
Janis: it’s mutual, even when you’re not after hearing it
Casey: least half the time then
Janis: You and your mood swings
Casey: I dunno about that
Casey: you and the bollocks you chat, more like
Janis: 😏
Janis: something like that
Casey: Any chance you take this fucking dog to your fit nan’s with you
Janis: You’d miss her, don’t lie
Casey: not miss her climbing the bloody walls at the minute, doing my head in
Janis: I’ll take her for a run when I get there
Casey: *we’ll
Janis: maybe, if you don’t look like shit
Casey: dog walkers find bodies, they’ve seen worse
Janis: I’ve got a reputation to maintain
Casey: oi
Janis: 😉
Janis: fresh air will probably do you good really, works for everything, like tea
Casey: kettle’ll be on when you’re here, no need for you to miss out ‘cause of [whatever the school therapist’s first name is]
Janis: Tah, she’s ruined enough, can’t let her have that proper
Casey: Put her arm round me again
Janis: Fucking hell, what is wrong with this school
Casey: other than the massive nonce ring or what
Janis: you’re going to be leaving with more trauma if she has anything to do with it
Casey: she’s 🤞
Janis: like hell
Casey: depends if she’s a fan of that picasso twat or nah
Janis: If she wants her own face rearranging, can’t really blame her
Casey: can’t all be the fittest lass in the whole of Dublin
Janis: she could try a 🤏 harder if she’s going to be a creep
Casey: would make it alright to try and nonce us then, yeah
Janis: Exactly
Casey: least dye her hair so she’s my type, dropped enough hints
Janis: You’re unimaginative, it couldn’t be easier
Casey: tah for the backhander there after I’ve said I’ll not smack you
Janis: yeah, you know it’s true anyway, nothing wrong with being basic, babes
Casey: steady on, babes, I didn’t promise owt as far as hair pulling and the rest lasses do
Janis: ha, try it
Casey: piss easy target how much there is, wouldn’t have to try very hard
Janis: you who wants to fight dirty, hurts more on shorter hair so your loss in the end
Casey: you who started it, and you’d have to grab hold 1st
Janis: piss easy, you’ve a giant head
Casey: me, that’s a mirror you’ve gone past, girl
Janis: don’t think so, usually get stuck in front of those for ages 🙃
Casey: can’t blame you
Janis: won’t need to, done the last drop so I’m officially on my way
Casey: [name drop that dog as if there’s a ? but there isn’t not because you don’t use them for some reason sir but because you know her schedule like that]
Janis: yep, gutted you weren’t there to tuck him in, obviously, but he dealt with it being me instead
Casey: dunno how lucky he is, I’ll have a word [whenever you’re walking this dog next]
Janis: tah very much, like
Janis: Twix will be buzzing to see me, even if that means rushing her out the door about it
Casey: she’s missed you
Janis: it’s mutual too
Casey: she don’t get where you’ve gone, just why
Janis: Wish you could explain to them
Janis: the kids will wanna walk her at the weekend, I’m sure
Casey: I’ll explain to him I fell off my bike or something
Janis: yeah, he’s not going to put it together, not seeing it
Janis: it’ll be alright
Casey: it was a good shout last time, long as it don’t put him off riding his how it did then or he’ll never learn
Janis: sort you out, he might think it looks cool too
Casey: be chucking himself off instead
Janis: little scrapes and dirt never hurt no one
Casey: used to eat it, me, from what I’ve heard
Janis: I believe it
Casey: and sand, but I don’t remember going the beach before Skerries, so
Janis: dunno if I’m gutted or pleased you didn’t go for it there
Casey: you’re gutted, don’t lie
Janis: yeah, clearly weren’t having a good enough time 👶🥳
Casey: have to take me back
Janis: ‘course, not like it costs nothing more, and for half the problems
Casey: I’ve had the idea of taking myself sometimes, jumping on a train and that
Janis: I can tell you when no one is there, it’s most the time anyway
Casey: tah, I’ve times in my head, depends if they match up
Janis: 🤞 I get it
Casey: I know
Janis: Libi’s old enough to make me feel bad now though, weren’t a problem when she was a baby
Casey: trick is to make yourself feel worse, no dickhead can touch you if you do
Janis: I know
Casey: our kid won’t be bothered when I piss off, he’ll be chuffed to see the back of me, another of my skills, that
Janis: Only the half the time you’re acting like your dad
Casey: no act, they just spend too much time hoping there is, give him more and he’ll work it out
Janis: 50/50 on one of us being right
Casey: I am like him, ask your boyfriend how long he’s spent convinced
Janis: You can be whoever you want, I reckon
Casey: I reckon you’ll be off again if we don’t change the subject
Janis: You’ve learnt nothing if you reckon I’m that easily put off but alright, change it
Casey: you was the other day
Janis: Not by you, by myself
Casey: what for
Janis: I didn’t have no good answers, was annoying myself, never mind you
Casey: I’m not after answers from you
Janis: That’s all I’m good for so that’s shit
Casey: bollocks are you, whoever’s told you that’s a massive bellend
Janis: cheers, I’ll keep it in mind
Casey: there’s no all you’re good for, you don’t even have to be good at owt to be my mate, weren’t auditions
Janis: I dunno, I just feel useless when I can’t tell people what to do, you know
Casey: it ain’t your fault there’s sod all to be done sometimes
Janis: maybe not but fucking hate it all the same 🎻🎻
Casey: my dad’s got no answers and he’s a grown man, it’s alright if you’ve none, for this or whatever else
Janis: Not the most favourable comparison you could chuck at us but appreciate the sentiment 
Casey: you get what I mean
Janis: if anyone has any time for him, it is you, so
Casey: I don’t need you fixing it, you can’t
Janis: fine, fine, don’t expect me to be 😁 about it though
Casey: none of us are, like, I’d love if you could chuck a solution at me but there ain’t
Janis: Give me time
Casey: I’d be putting on pressure, you heard, it’s not up to you to sort our heads, where we are and how we ended up here, how fucked shit can be
Janis: what are friends for, what sort of shit one would I be if I didn’t care about none of that
Casey: they’re for taking my mind off it
Janis: I’ll shut up and get a move on, understood
Casey: things can be good too, I care about that, and loads of it’s down to you when they are
Janis: ☀️ you, always surprises me
Casey: you
Janis: don’t take the piss
Casey: I’m not, I can keep myself going, but I’m not off nowhere, it’s you dragging me about, making it so I fancy moving in the 1st place
Janis: We’ve got to stick together
Casey: yeah, I shouldn’t of never said before I didn’t need your help
Janis: I won’t make you admit it in your current state, my ego isn’t too damaged, like
Casey: I’ve admitted it, you can have at that
Janis: 🏆🥇 is a win but 
Janis: I don’t know, I wanted to make things easier, I thought it would, them and me out of your way 
Casey: it does
Janis: Do you want them to stay away or come back, be honest
Casey: what would I want them about for
Janis: To not have to deal with your dad alone
Casey: what else was you reckoning I said were easier on my own
Casey: it’s best I sort him out myself, we get on
Janis: That’s what I thought
Janis: but not if it’s a full-time job, like
Casey: Jim’s told you it is ‘cause he can’t hack it, I can
Janis: He still has to look after Bobby
Janis: probably as fair a trade-off as we’re getting, yeah?
Casey: and make ☕️ for your sister and her mates
Janis: you help with the dogs more, ‘til you decide you wanna try and find yourself another job
Casey: no need, I like the job you’ve given us
Janis: Good
Janis: I don’t know how much help Bob would be, even after relevant training, like
Casey: only after showing off to his little girlfriend, him
Casey: can’t be trusted with much else
Janis: and show-off was already her middle name, quite the duo
Casey: fancy a picture drawn of a dog for a missing poster he’s your man, long as you don’t ask why it’s gone, like
Janis: Could start charging ransom, long as we keep it infrequent enough
Janis: sinister that it’s in crayon and got loads of mistakes in the note
Casey: he’s having none of the money though
Janis: He’s no need for it
Casey: nor does his missus what he’d buy her
Janis: her room’s like a toy shop, I swear
Janis: everyone’s overcompensating
Casey: I had [something expensive af that he’d want at the age he was when his mum vanished] bought for me
Janis: Fair play, didn’t totally waste the opportunity
Casey: can’t cash in on her being dead yet, might do one day
Janis: Did she have money?
Janis: Edie and Liam didn’t, nothing worth mentioning, obviously
Casey: owt from her part time job she spent soon as earned it, said that’s what it were for
Janis: right, they were the same
Janis: Savings and life insurance are for proper grown-ups and rich people
Casey: [name drop the richest of the people you dog walk for as an example]
Janis: They would be worth killing, deffo
Casey: you know where I am
Janis: en-route but it’ll have to wait, we’ve got a full schedule today, like
Casey: tonight then
Janis: cover of night, obviously
Janis: only catch one of them having their lunch-time affair at a time
Casey: alright, catch ‘em covering it up by being all over the dickhead they married instead
Janis: you’ll be 🤒 all over again
Casey: be like watching that scene in [a movie with some kind of cringey sex scene in it to take the piss out of these posh people]
Janis: 🥴🥴🥴 can feel the cameraman heavy breathing down the poor actresses neck in that one, Jesus 
Casey: you’d know all about that, should bring up happiest of memories for you
Janis: shut up 😏🙄
Janis: insulting to me as well as him as a comparison, that
Casey: everyone’s insulted you’re with him, girl, take your own turn
Janis: no one more than my sister and her mates, probably
Casey: there you go, your 1 pro, knew we’d find something if we kept on and on for ages
Janis: I’ll only make you suffer through that when you deserve it, a good mate like that
Casey: when you’ve managed to put a list together, more like
Casey: expecting to be a proper grown up if not on my death bed by the time
Janis: come on, you’ll never be a proper grown up
Casey: might, rich an’ all
Janis: oh yeah?
Janis: well, if the murder/kidnap game pans out, we’ll both be that
Casey: kept between us how would it balls up
Janis: Have to be, Libi can tell the entire class, even if he’d be playing charades about it
Janis: can’t be trusted
Casey: nor can [the name of the cameraman in that film he’s just looked up for Jimothy shade lol lol]
Janis: I don’t even know who that is but none of your mates, that’s a blatant given
Casey: just me and you, mate
Janis: 🥷🥷 no one else has put in the time and won the 🐶🐶 over, be dangerous
Casey: exactly, you’re not a liability 
Janis: might be the nicest thing you’ve ever said to me
Casey: hold tight of it, dunno what I’ll say when you’re resetting my broke nose
Janis: shan’t be the one crying at any rate, you’re alright
Janis: leave my headphones in if you’re proper getting into it
Casey: [not him just namedropping her fave song of the moment right here and right now because he’s noticed her listening to it a lot like when they go running and stuff, like yeah, that song, I know]
Janis: 😌
Janis: I promise I’ll be quick, no mucking about
Casey: you’re no messer like rest of the lasses I know
Janis: The only other lass you know who MIGHT be able to hack this is the school nurse
Janis: and I doubt she’s got the medical training
Casey: bit rude of me to ask ‘em to, to be fair
Janis: as a first date, yeah, bit intense
Casey: wait til 3rd at least, weren’t totally dragged up
Janis: such a gentleman 🤵
Casey: 😏
Janis: and you’ll be glad to have the place to yourself then too
Casey: nah, use her place and find out the state of it, every dickhead knows that
Janis: What for?
Casey: see if she’s worth going back to
Janis: ahh, I see
Casey: I ain’t bothered about being her bit of rough
Casey: especially if she’s no dad about
Janis: Unimaginative, think that’s what I said
Casey: what would you have me look for in a girl
Janis: You may as well aim high 💸 don’t know why you’re insisting on daddy issues though
Casey: yeah you do, it’s well known why
Janis: 😒
Casey: aim high you said
Janis: you’re grim, change the subject
Casey: To what
Janis: I’d say use your imagination but not right now, clearly
Casey: I’ve none, you’ve said twice
Janis: Not your fault, no lads your age do
Casey: as told by the expert of lads my age
Janis: let [the school counsellor] have that title
Casey: I ain’t grim enough to go on a date with her, tah
Janis: argue it’s not a date when it’s also a crime
Casey: could have your say in court but never get there, I’d be off with the hush money
Janis: on her salary? Please
Casey: doubt it comes out her pocket, be the higher ups paying
Janis: explains where the budget goes
Casey: You’re on about me using my imagination as if you’re not already meant to be in the door, what you playing at
Janis: helping you flex that muscle, along with learning some patience, obviously
Janis: Hold on, boy
Casey: teacher I should’ve had, I get it
Janis: Anyone is better than Lucas
Casey: there’s your shit comparison what insults you more than him
Janis: basically an accusation, dickhead, careful with that talk, yeah
Casey: I never chucked nowt, you who said it
Janis: Hmm
1 note · View note
blooblooded · 1 year ago
Text
Tony Reunites with Cihad
After the first night of being back in Eden, Tony had already decided to find Cihad Tariq.
“You sure that’s a good idea?” Casey asked him nervously, watching him get ready in the safehouse’s small bathroom that morning. It was early, 6:30 am. Early was good. Cihad woke up early to exercise and calm his mind. It would be best to catch him before he went to work and exhausted himself. “Dad says that most of the CCTVs are malfunctioning, but there’s still a chance you could be seen. And, uh, have you forgotten all about how that guy freaked out on you the day he came to take the Book back from Kassidy? Or how he tried to drag the truck back the day we left Eden? He was pissed. Beyond pissed.”
Over the last two years, Casey had grown into a natural leader. Of course she was worried about him. She didn’t understand Cihad like he did, she only saw him as a threat. There was no reason for her to see him as anything but a threat after everything they had witnessed, everything they had learned. Tony shook his head. He finished shaving, then splashed water on his face. He felt like he looked presentable, despite how fear and struggle had aged him. His long black hair hung down to his shoulders and he did not tie it back the way he used to. “Did your Dad bring us any aftershave when he picked up supplies?”
Casey’s mouth twitched. “Yeah, no. I don’t think he imagined you or Marty were gonna go try to get some dick. And you didn’t answer my question. Are you sure it’s a good idea to go see the man who brought the Book to Eden? I still think he’s working for it. Nothing we learned in the North proves otherwise.”
“He’s not working for it,” said Tony. “He’s a good man and he’s been raising my daughter. I have to talk to him before I try to come back into her life.”
Try to come back into her life a second time. Cynthia was 15 years old now. The first time he had abandoned her, out of paranoid delusions and a half-pickled brain, he didn’t see her again until she was 6. The 4 years he spent back in her life, together with Cathy and Cihad, had been the happiest he had ever been. Then Cathy had died and everything went wrong. For 2 years he hid in the sewers, out of his mind, living with rats. He never thought he would ever see her again.
He still might never see her again. Cihad might not let him. And even if he did, even if he did let him,  Cynthia might not want him back in her life. He wouldn’t want that, if he was her. 
That was out of his control. The first part of the Serenity Prayer was all about accepting the things he could not change. If reuniting with his family was not an option, he would just have to accept that, and focus on the things within his control. 
Tony looked at himself in the mirror. He had chosen a green shirt because green was Cihad’s favorite color on him. Or, it had been once. 
What was he doing? Cihad had probably moved on a long time ago. He was probably seeing someone else, someone better than him. Of course he hadn’t waited, and it wasn’t fair to expect him to have waited. It seemed almost pathetic for Tony to be preening like this, letting his hair down, thinking about aftershave. There were more important things to think about. Like the Book. Like where the essence of that demon had gone after leaving Kassidy’s body, and whether it would try to hunt him down again.
Well, Cihad deserved to know about that. Even if he never let him see Cynthia again, even if he had moved on. He deserved to know. He was involved. The strings of fate that connected the whole world, future and past, had bound them together.
“I just think that it’s a bad idea,” said Casey. She spoke quietly. Everyone else was still asleep. When Tony woke from where he slept on the couch in the living room, the smallest noises he made had alerted her. Ever since their time in the Northern Territories, she had been unable to sleep soundly. “I feel like he’s working for It. The Thing in the Book. He was the one who brought it here. If that thing is somewhere in Eden, who’s to say he doesn’t just hand your ass over to it.”
“He isn’t and he won’t.” 
There was one thing that Tony was completely sure of: Cihad had once loved him. He had really loved him. No, it hadn’t started out that way. It had started as simple empathy, Cihad saw him as someone he could fix, he felt a sense of control when he was able to fix people. And Tony had liked the attention. Nobody had ever treated him with that kind of compassion, he had spent years as a homeless alcoholic. He was used to getting treated with disgust, or worse, not even seen as a person. Cihad never saw him that way. Cihad had only seen someone who needed his help. The compassion turned into lust, which turned into love. 
Tony hadn’t meant to ruin it all after what happened with Cathy. He had just been so scared. Cihad had probably thought that he killed himself. The look he had got when he saw him again in the attic! That wild, frantic look! Tony felt bad. He had really hurt him but at the time, he hadn’t seen another option than run to the sewers. And then again, the second time, his only option had been to run from Eden.
Now he didn’t know what to expect. Cihad would probably be angry when he saw him again. Tony could deal with angry.
“I’ll come back,” said Tony, checking himself one more time in the mirror. He pushed some of his hair up so that it hung over his shoulders, then Looked at Casey.
She did not think he was coming back. One way or another, she believed that he was leaving. Running away again. Always running away. Tony cringed a little bit inside. He did not know how to make her believe otherwise.
He left anyway. He left, telling himself that he was coming back but not completely believing it himself.
Tony was careful as he made his way to the metro station. Logically he knew that he did not need to be so careful, he knew that he was seen as dead in the eyes of the state. There was nobody looking for him anymore or even anyone who cared. As far as he knew, the only danger he needed to worry about was not even in Eden anymore. It was probably still in the Lost Colony and would be trapped there until…until, well, he did not know.
Still, he was careful. He did not get a single look on the train. Everyone on it was just going about their lives, headed to their jobs that morning. Tony kept his eyes on his shoes. 
He realized that he did not even know if Cihad still lived in the same 3 bedroom house in the Residential Mid Levels. Kassidy was the one who had given him the address, she was the only one who had actually been there. Stupid. If he showed up on some random family’s doorstep, he was going to feel like an idiot. But Cihad was a creature of habit, he was someone who needed to carefully control his environment. He would still be there. It was the place he had moved after Cathy had died. He had to still be there.
Tony got off the train. He took a deep breath of the oxygen rich air that they only seemed to pump in on the Mid and Upper Levels. The Co2 in the air where the Safehouse sat was stifling, choking, after breathing the fresh clean air outside of Eden for the last year and a half. It was funny. Tony had breathed thick, toxic air all his life. He had never felt like it was squeezing and choking him until he experienced what he was missing.
It was a short walk from the metro station to Cihad’s house but the whole time, Tony grew more and more anxious. The streets here were lined with vertical gardens to give residential homes more privacy. He looked up at the vine covered slabs of concrete, so beautiful and wrong at the same time. His heart hurt. He missed Cihad more than anything but seeing him face to face scared him more than anything too.
That wasn’t even taking into account Cynthia. Tony swallowed and almost tripped over a crack in the sidewalk because he wasn’t paying attention. A mother pushing a baby in a stroller gave him a sideways look. He ducked his head and kept walking.
The house was the same as the majority of middle-class family homes in Eden. Two stories, 3 bedrooms, 2 bathrooms, a little balcony off the back. It was built of concrete blocks in a utilitarian, brutalist fashion that didn’t lend very much to warmth. A chill went up Tony’s spine when he looked at it. He had never lived in this house. But two people he loved did. It was almost like he could feel them.
Tony’s stomach lurched like he was going to throw up. He checked the time on his phone. 7:00. Cynthia would already have left for school, since classes started at 8. There wasn’t a chance that he would run into her. That was good. He needed time to think about what he was going to say.
Was he stupid? Was he making a bad mistake? He kept telling himself that this was not only a personal visit. Cihad still had the Book and Tony needed to examine it while it was still uninhabited and powerless. If it was still uninhabited and powerless. The last time he had the Book in his hands, he had been frantic, trying to rip it to shreds himself. This time he knew better. This time he could be logical.
He looked down at his hands and saw that they were shaking. “Serenity to accept the things I cannot change,” he told himself. “Serenity to accept the things I cannot change…”
No going back now. Tony walked up to the front door, stood there for a second, then rang the bell. The last time he showed up unexpectedly on Cihad’s doorstep, he had been wasted, dying, and had thrown up on Cihad’s shoes. This was a step up. There was no way he could embarrass himself as badly as he had back then.
He still felt like he was going to throw up though.
The door opened. And there he was. Cihad was dressed in blue scrubs and white sneakers. The scrubs didn’t fit his huge body correctly, he looked like he had been poured into them. His dark curly hair and beard were neatly groomed like they always were, not a touch of gray in that hair. The second he saw him, Cihad’s red eyes became huge in his face. His expression was more shocked than it was angry or horrified. He froze and dropped the mug of tea he was holding and it shattered on his doorstep.
Tony tried to smile. “Well, I’m back,” he said sheepishly. Nonchalant. Maybe cool, or at least trying to be cool. Idiot.
“Anthony.” Cihad’s voice came out as a strangled whisper. He did not move.
“You gonna let me in so we can talk?” Tony’s own boldness shocked him. “You know, since last time I saw you, you were screaming and dragging a truck back with your mind? We have some things to talk about.”
Cihad’s eyes looked shiny. That was weird. His stupid ham-like hands clenched and unclenched. Tony wondered if Casey had been right, that Cihad was still pissed at him and whether he needed to run. God, he was stupid! It was so easy to forget that Cihad was about 150 pounds heavier than him and was an avid user of blood magic on top of his neuroelectrical abilities. If he really wanted to hurt him, it would be easy.
Wait, what was he thinking. Cihad would never hurt him. He would die before he hurt him.
As if in a trance, Cihad extended his big arms and wrapped them around Tony’s body. He didn’t even have time to struggle, he just found himself being lifted off the ground and squeezed tightly. Hugged. He was being hugged. It had been so long since anyone had actually hugged him. Tony was able to free one arm and curled it around Cihad’s back, patting him awkwardly.
“I thought you were dead,” said Cihad. His voice cracked.  His face was pressed into Tony’s neck, he could feel his warm breath and the prickle of his beard hair. “How did you– I thought you were dead. I thought I would never see you again! You were dead and I couldn’t even talk to anyone about it!”
“Yeah, well, I have this funny way of always surviving.” Tony’s ribs were hurting. He squirmed to escape from Cihad’s grasp. Part of him liked it. Even without Looking, he could tell that Cihad still desired him after all these years. It wasn’t exactly something he could hide. The other part of him, the rodenty prey animal part of him, felt afraid. Loving someone just meant that he could lose them. “Hey– quit squeezing the merchandise, get off, get off me.”
He let him go. Cihad pushed back his wavy hair. “I’m calling off work,” he said, and stepped back into the house. “Come inside. You can come inside.”
So he wasn’t seeing anyone else. Good. It sort of scared Tony that he had this much power over him. Within three minutes of seeing him, Cihad was already calling off of work. He wondered what else he could get–
No, what was wrong with him? Tony followed Cihad inside.
The house was furnished in a simple, homey way that made sense for a single father. Tony passed a picture of Cynthia on the wall and looked away quickly. The girl in the picture was a teenager and almost recognizable to him. She had bright blue eyes and a big smile. He couldn’t look at her, not yet. There was another picture of a child Tony did not recognize and he squinted at it for a moment. This kid was also Black, maybe the same age as Cynthia, with a bright and friendly face. Where had Cihad picked up another kid?
He looked around as Cihad led him into the kitchen. “Do you still keep that thing in here?” Tony asked cautiously. He had not forgotten the little slime creature Cihad kept as a pet. It had always disturbed him that it had learned how to speak; they weren’t supposed to do that. Ever since Marty had told him about the one that was trapped in the Void, Tony had thought about the ways he could keep this one away from his daughter. “You know, that alien thing that used to sleep in the drawers?”
Cihad glanced at him. He sat down at the kitchen table. “Billy’s at school.”
Great. The fool had named it. That wasn’t ominous at all. Tony felt a chill go up his spine. “We learned a lot about those things while we were gone.”
“Where was that, exactly?” His voice was clipped. Suspicious.
“North. The Northern Territories.” He watched Cihad’s expression tighten. “We went to this place— this state or territory, I guess —called the Strath. Cassiopeia Agapama’s father was doing business with the person in charge there. We talked to her on his behalf and tried to find answers about that Book you brought into Eden.”
Cihad didn’t say anything. He didn’t move. Was he scared? He had always been so secretive about his past. At this point, Tony knew more about it than he felt he would ever be told. Was that a betrayal? Was it like going through someone’s phone for proof of cheating? He knew that Cihad did not want him to know about where he came from. Well, that was too bad.
It wasn’t his fault, but every fucked up thing that had occurred because of the Book was because Cihad brought it to Eden when he was just a kid. There was nothing any of them could do to change that. 
He continued. “There was this place up there. This burnt down town. Have you heard of a place called Blagodat?”
“Stop,” said Cihad.
“That’s where you’re from, isn’t it? That’s where the Book came from.” Tony sat down across from Cihad. There were three chairs at the kitchen table. He couldn’t help but wonder if he was sitting at Cynthia’s. “The people in the North said that they killed almost everyone who lived there over 20 years ago. Not you though. You survived. And you brought that Book to Eden.”
There was an almost unbearable minute of silence. Cihad’s face was like a cold mask, all of the warmth had drained away. He didn’t want to talk about this. Of course he didn’t want to talk about this. It would be easier for Tony to just See the truth of it all instead of prying out answers like he was prying teeth. 
But he wanted to give this man he cared so much about a chance.
At length, Cihad only said, “God kept me safe.”
“You know that thing isn’t a god, right? It’s just some Thing that got trapped here like all of those monsters made of black slime. Only hungrier. It’s from some other place. We’ve been learning about that too.”
“Anthony, I just—“
“You were a kid and you didn’t know any better,” said Tony, and he knew he was about to twist the knife in but was unable to help himself. “But it killed Cathy because it was trying to take her body. And now it’s trying to take mine too.”
Surprisingly, the big nurse didn’t react. Had he already known? To be exposed to the Book for as long as he had, he must have known. That in itself was sickening but Tony could almost understand. Almost. Cihad had not wanted to let go of the one thing that tied him to his childhood. He did not have anything else. It had all been ripped away from him in one night of blood and fire.
“That means Kassidy Nguyen is dead,” he said at last, with a tone of regret. “I didn’t figure it out until I saw her so sick like that. I could have done something. She was just— she was so angry, she was falling apart. I’m sorry. Her mother and I have—“
“She’s not dead but she came close,” Tony interrupted. “It would take more than some stupid alien to kill her.”
Cihad’s shoulders sagged visibly in relief. How strange. It wasn’t like he had known Kassidy. It wasn’t like he had been anything other than her supervisor at the Hospital. Tony used the Sight to take a little peek and saw the swirling truth of why he was so worried about her. There was a common string linking them. A tired little woman. Cihad had been busy for the last year and a half. Cihad had been collaborating with Kassidy’s mother. Not just collaborating, he was her friend. He cared about her. He cared about her so much that he was scared she was going to kill herself if—
No. Stop looking. It wasn’t right. He was here to talk. He was here to talk to someone he cared about like a normal fucking human. Tony shook himself.
“She’s fine,” he said lamely. “Kassidy’s fine.”
What else was he supposed to say? What were they supposed to talk about? There was so much Tony wanted to know. How was Cynthia? How was he? What had happened while he was gone? What had happened before he had gone, during those years that he was hiding with rats and out of his mind? Since Cathy had died, he had seen Cihad twice, and both of those times he had been so…so angry at him! Or angry at the situation. Scared and angry. So scared and angry.
So what now? There was no way to just pick up where they had left off. The time for that had passed years ago. Here he was, grilling Cihad and asking questions about where he came from when he already knew the answers. There were other answers he wanted. How was Cynthia? How was he?
Stupid.
They sat in uncomfortable silence. Tony became acutely aware of how his hair tickled the back of his neck. Every breath seemed to take concentration. Where was he supposed to look? Not into Cihad’s eyes, never into Cihad’s red, red eyes. It was safer to just stare down at his hands in his own lap. Tony had never been good at talking. 
“I just–”
“Are you–”
They started and stopped at the same time. Cihad made a little huff of frustration. Tony grimaced awkwardly and watched the man he had once loved stand up from his chair, turn to the counter, and put the kettle on. Pulled out two mugs. God, what was his problem? He was always trying to take care of other people, it never fucking stopped.
It didn’t take long to brew the tea. Cihad poured three scoops of sugar into one of the cups. Tony’s stomach flipped. He remembered how sweet he liked his tea. It had been years and he still remembered. But for the life of him, Tony could not remember the way Cihad took his. Back when they had lived together, he had never been the one to make it.
When Cihad handed him the mug, he sipped from it without waiting for it to cool down. The taste was so…artificial. In the Strath Tony had gotten used to real tea. The stuff that they sold in Eden was a thin copycat of that, something formed in labs like everything else in this anthill. What did Cihad think of it? He had grown up outside of Eden. Did he remember the taste of real tea? Or had it been too long. Maybe his memories of his old life had faded.
“Are you living in a shelter again?” Cihad asked him.
Tony choked on his mouthful of tea. Was that really what he thought? That he was homeless again? Well, OK, on a technical level he had never stopped being homeless. On a very shameful and technical level, he had been homeless ever since the day he abandoned Cathy. But he had thought that Cihad would have understood the gravity of his situation in this moment and how his life was in danger. “No, I’m–” Maybe he shouldn’t tell him where he and the girls were staying. Not that he didn’t trust him. Tony shook his head. “I’m staying somewhere safe. I probably shouldn’t be out here now. I just wanted to see you.”
“You’re staying somewhere with Kassidy Nguyen.”
“I never said that.” Tony put his mug down. “Look, she isn’t ready to–”
“I don’t need to know.”
Oh, but you wanted to know, you enormous nosy motherfucker. Tony rubbed his face. “Look, a lot has happened. I don’t know how to begin.”
“A lot has happened here too.” Cihad crossed his arms. 
Now that he understood where Cihad’s accent came from, and had heard dozens of irritating people speaking with voices that sounded just like his, it sounded a lot less sexy. The soft T’s. The musical vowels. He was so full of himself. “Yeah, I’m sure it has. I’m sure it’s been fucked, I mean, it seems more fucked here than usual, but maybe that’s because I’ve been gone so long. Everything feels off, I feel like I’m on the verge of–”
“I missed you.”
Ugh. That was not what Tony came to talk to him about. Stay focused. Don’t get drawn in. He laughed nervously. Say it back. Say it back, you piece of shit. “I, uh– you too. My life has gone to hell since the day Cathy…” he trailed off, unable to say what had happened to Cathy.
“I’ve been raising two kids by myself for years now.” Cihad was staring right at him, red, red eyes boring holes into his head. His eyelashes were so thick that it was like he was wearing mascara or something. “It hasn’t been easy. Every night I think about how different things would be if you hadn’t run away.”
Where was he getting two kids from? As far as Tony knew, there was only Cynthia. But then, what did he know? He had run away. Time to diffuse the situation. “I’m sure you haven’t been lonely. Single dad with a tragic past? Guys have probably been lining up outside your door.”
“That’s not funny, Anthony.”
Oh god. Tony prepared to dive head first into uncomfortable sincerity. “I’ve missed you too, OK? I miss you and Cynthia. I did what I thought I had to do at the time. Your fucking Book? We had to run for our lives because of that Thing. You did that. You brought it here and I know, you were a scared little kid, but you still brought it here. I had to run over and over again because of you, I didn’t want to run away, I had to run away. And I still missed you. It’s just all–”
He Saw the guilt and self hatred radiating off of Cihad. Piece of shit. Tony looked away. 
“I’m sorry.”
Self righteous asshole. Tony groaned. “It’s just all fucked. We’re fucked. You and me. I didn’t come back for you. I know, I’m self aware enough to– I came back for my daughter.”
“Your daughter?” Cihad’s voice had a funny edge to it. Tony winced. “What do you mean by that? Do you think you can take her away? You don’t have custody. You never–”
“I don’t know what I mean. Goddamn!” Why was he being so defensive? Cihad had never been like that before. He knew that he could never take care of Cynthia. Not now. Not ever.
“You don’t have custody,” Cihad said again. Suddenly he was breathing hard. He seemed big and angry. “I’m her father. I’m the one who’s taken care of her. Alone. By myself. I’m tired of people telling me that they want her to take her away. I’ve got social services sticking their noses where they don’t belong, and all these threats from Si– and now you show up and you finally want her? I don’t think so.”
“Calm down.” Tony put his hands up. “What’s the matter with you? I just meant I want to make things right with her. I’m fucking homeless, man, you think I can take care of a kid?”
That took the air out of him. The silence grew between them. 
This was fucked. Tony knew it. He should have waited longer to make it right. He should have prepared for what he wanted to say instead of just winging it. He was so stupid. He was stupid and he had been lonely for too long. There was a hole in his heart where his family had once been and over the years that hole had expanded. 
And still, he wanted to know more. Why would social services be involved in Cihad’s life? They didn’t get involved with perfect people like him. CPS only went after families like– well, families like Tony’s. All it would take was a little peek. All it would take was the blink of an eye. But he couldn’t do that. It wasn’t right to do to someone he loved, he had to keep telling himself it wasn’t right. 
Why couldn’t he just melt into the floor?
“Thanks for the tea,” he said lamely. Tony stood up. “I’ll go. I’ll just go. We can pick this up later when I’m not a fucking idiot.”
“Don’t go.”
“No, man.” He didn’t know where he was supposed to put his hands and just stood there awkwardly. “I wanted this to go well but I’m going to screw it all up again.”
“Please don’t go.”
Wasn’t that just a knife in the heart? Sweat beaded on his forehead. What was he supposed to say? Cihad was practically begging him to stay. Every instinct in Tony’s body was telling him to leave. Go home. Regroup. This was too hard. It was going to hurt too much. He wasn’t ready. He was so stupid. Everything he said was just going to piss Cihad off. There was no way to have a civilized conversation with someone like that! The more Cihad clung onto him, the more Tony wanted to push away. But he didn’t want to push away! He was just so– so!
There was a sound from the front hallway. The door opening? Tony frowned and shot a dirty look at Cihad. Fucking liar. Of course he had some kind of lover who had keys to his house. Cihad frowned back at him and mouthed something unintelligible. Tony shook his head. Cihad pointed at him. Tony made a throat slitting motion. 
Hopefully it was burglars because if some little booty call walked into this kitchen, Tony was really going to lose it.
“--so annoying!” chattered a very young sounding voice. “You know she’s copying your look, right? She’s doing her eyeliner exactly like you now.”
“Yeah, well, it looks like shit,” replied an equally young girl’s voice. “It’s so childish. Bitch. I can’t stand her. Such a tryhard, she’s just, she’s like fucking jealous, you know? Yancey said people are just jealous of me.”
“Rachel’s covering for you in homeroom, right?”
“Rachel’s covering for us.”
Tony watched as Cihad’s face flushed and his eyes widened. Ah. So the delinquent apple did not fall far from the delinquent tree. He remembered this little game from his days in high school. Cynthia must be skipping class under the blissful belief that her overprotective father was safely at work and far away.
Ah.
Oh shit. He had to get out of there. Not now! Not like this! He hadn’t seen Cynthia since she was 9 years old and god knew what Cihad had told her about him! She probably thought that he was dead! The best case scenario was that she thought he was dead! What else would she think?! 
There was nowhere for Tony to escape to. He was trapped in the kitchen and was totally unprepared. His body was frozen in horror.
No time. There was no time. He stood there like an idiot as he watched a girl who had grown into a person he did not recognize walk into the kitchen and freeze just like him.
So this was Cynthia at 15 years old. Her round, dark face and sturdy frame were so much like Cathy’s at that age that it was like he had gone back in time. Just like Cathy. And not at all like Cathy. This was a different girl. This girl did not wear glasses. This girl did not cover her hair. Cynthia wore jeans and a crop top, instead of the dresses her mother favored. She wore her braids tied up in pigtails that showed off her pierced ears. And her eyes– her eyes were as blue and vacant as the sky.
When she froze, she wasn’t even looking at him. She stared at Cihad like he had grown a second head.
“What are you doing here?” asked Cihad immediately. Oh, he was very angry. It was coming off him in waves.
“What are you doing here?” Cynthia shot back. She crossed her arms defensively. “Aren’t you supposed to be at work?”
“Aren’t you supposed to be at school? You’re skipping again? We talked about this– Cynthia– your teachers, they will call social services if you–”
“Oh my god, it’s not that big a deal! Calm down! I didn’t feel well and I didn’t want to call you!”
Another kid edged up behind Cynthia. The kid from the photograph. They looked to be the same age as Cynthia but taller and neater. There was something unsettling about their face but Tony didn’t linger on them too long. They put their hands with black painted fingernails over their mouth. “Uh-oh.”
“Uh-oh?” Cihad was getting red in the face now. “Uh-oh sounds right– you’re going along with your sister on this one? After everything you told me about wanting to go to school like the other kids?”
The other kid cringed. “No, Dad, I just– I don’t know.”
“You two are grounded, you’re grounded, I’m taking your phones, I’m taking–”
And then Cynthia screamed. She had finally looked at Tony. The noise she made was horrible, a wail that was equal parts pitiful and excited, like a puppy that had been locked in a cage all day. It came from the deepest parts of her. She screamed and suddenly she was launching herself at him, throwing her arms around him as tightly as she could. Cynthia pressed her face into Tony’s chest. She was sobbing.
And Tony did not know what to do. He did what he had not been able to do for years. He hugged his daughter.
Piece of shit. This was his fault. He had done this to her. In keeping her safe, he had deprived her of a father.
Cynthia wailed and wailed and sobbed and sobbed. She would not let go of him. Tony awkwardly rubbed her back. There was a lump in his throat he could not swallow and his own eye prickled but he would not let himself cry. He was the reason she was crying. He had missed her so much for so long and now he did not know what to do. He did not know how to be. It hurt too bad.
“You’re dead!” Cynthia cried, like she was a little girl instead of a teenager. “Dad told me– me– me you were– were dead! You were dead!”
Oh Cihad. He had chosen the easiest, least hurtful route. It was what he would have told her too if their places had been reversed.
What was he supposed to even say? Tony was so bad at this. He had never had a good father to model himself after. He was out of practice. It had been too long. When he tried to speak, his voice cracked. “I– I’ve got you, baby.”
Cynthia started wailing again. Words weren’t coming out anymore, just long unintelligible whines that sounded like ‘daddy’. 
Not like this. This had been stupid, impulsive. Tony had needed more time to think. He had needed time to think of how to apologize even if he couldn’t make it right. Maybe it would have been easier if she was angry at him. Now all he could do was hold his little girl for the first time in so many years.
“I’ve got you, I’ve got you, baby.” It was all he could think to say.
The apologies would come later.
0 notes
chrismerle · 2 years ago
Text
cat update:
so my dad left the old house on saturday (temporarily) and brought two of the cats with him. my brother's cat Wiggles, and our basement cat Grumpy.
I left the old house on sunday and drove eight hours with Widget, Flower, and Beast in the car with me.
Grumpy was and is fine. he gave and gives no shits. he was calm going into a soft-sided carrier. he was calm in the car. at one point my dad stopped for food and opened the carrier enough to hand-feed Grumps like a quarter of the steak from his sandwich and Grumps didn't even try to get out of the carrier. once they got to the new house, it became a 'everything the light touches is his kingdom' situation, and this house has a lot of windows to let light in. all the rooms are Grumpy's. all the furniture is Grumpy's. all the people on the furniture are Grumpy's. all the laundry and cushions on the floor are Grumpy's. but he has not pissed or shit anywhere but his box. man's living his best ancient-as-hell, 17-year-old life.
Widget sort of meeped at me pitifully every couple of hours in the car, but was otherwise fine. she was happy to explore my new bedroom and figured out where food and water were basically immediately, and by the next afternoon she was exploring the rest of the house. she has encountered Beast and Grumpy and they give no shits about each other. it was peaceful disinterest.
Beast was in a medium dog crate with Flower in the car, so they were basically fine. he's never minded the car, and he sat on her like a weighted blanket. bit nervous at first, but by the next morning, he was freely exploring the house. he has discovered that there are Beast-sized window sills now, and he has decided the picture window at the front of the house is now his. he also likes the little secret passage that connects my parents' room to the stair landing.
Flower was less gregarious. she was in my parents' room, and she was freely exploring that (admittedly very large) room and would come mooching for attention from anyone who walked in, but she didn't actually LEAVE that room until she finally ventured down the stairs like half an hour ago. she's taking it one room at a time.
Wiggles is having a bad time. he shrieked getting put into a cat carrier. he wailed in the car for the first hour. he refused to eat in the car. he won't leave my brother's room. he either hides in my brother's bedding, or he hides in a bookshelf. we only know he moves around when no one's looking because he doesn't feel dehydrated and because his litter box has demonstrably been used. he's content to be pet and he snuggles if someone's in the bed, but that is it. he's always been a very nervous cat, so we're hoping he'll adapt in a few days.
and yes, we're aware that it's often recommended to keep cats localized to one room for the first week, and we originally planned to. but the logic we're working under is that the dogs are going to be showing up in like a week, and we want it to already smell like the cats live here so that they can keep having free run of the house without the corgis acting like they're squeaky toys.
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url-is-under-construction · 4 years ago
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𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐝𝐢𝐜𝐭 ~ 𝐇.𝐋 𝐱 𝐑𝐞𝐚𝐝𝐞𝐫
Based off the prompt:   “𝐈 𝐰𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐛𝐮𝐭 𝐈 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭. 𝐖𝐞 𝐜𝐚𝐧'𝐭 𝐝𝐨 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬.”
𝐖𝐨𝐫𝐝𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 3.7K
𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: Swearing
𝐒𝐲𝐩𝐧𝐨𝐬𝐢𝐬: Family always came first to you. That’s why you moved to Tokyo with your baby brother despite being miserable every single day, until you met him.
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If NYC was the city that never slept then Tokyo was it’s younger sibling who was constantly trying to outdo the elder child. You ignored your younger brother who sat beside you in the taxi, leaning your head against the window and admiring the bright neon lights that stood out against the black of the sky.
No stars were visible, and the noise of the city was audible from inside the taxi, grinding against your ears. You hated it.
“Y/n.” You yanked my head from the cool glass of the window, leaving it foggy in your absence as Sean gently called your name. “We’re here.”
It was then you noticed the taxi had come to a stop, in front of a small looking building.
“This is it?” You asked, only getting a nod and sigh in response as the two of you exited the small vehicle, him sighing loudly as he picked up the bags.
You approached the door and knocked, waiting impatiently as the city air bit and nipped at your rosy red cheeks and nose.
It opened, revealing the man you recognized to be your father. You took a step back, turning the volume of the music in your ears up and letting Sean do the talking. You observed as their mouths moved, and the door closed on the two of you, your eyebrows furrowing in confusion before relaxing as it opened again.
This time he was fully clothed and a woman quickly scurried out from behind him, not giving any of you a second glance.
You pulled the earbud out, looking between your brother and father.
“Who was that?” You asked, following the two of them into the cramped building.
“A friend.” Your father responded sharply, before going over the ground rules and showing you to your rather small rooms.
The sleep was terrible that night. Unable to get comfortable on the thin mattress, and longing to be back at home in America. After all, you weren’t the child who had screwed up.
                                                  【~~~】
It took about three days for the reality of the situation you were in to settle in.
You were living in Tokyo. And you wouldn’t be returning home any time soon.
It was quite a rude shock when it finally hit you, and that’s when the tears every night started to pay visits.
You sure as hell weren’t the one who had fucked up, destroying not one but two cars, illegally racing and crashing through the frame of a house waiting to be built. No, that was Sean. But as usual you also had to pay for his mistakes and so off to Tokyo you went with him, leaving behind your friends, your family and your car.
It wasn’t like your mother was expecting you to live here forever with Sean. After all you were almost nineteen and very much so capable of making your own decisions.
She had wanted you to go with him for the first month though, not wanting him to be completely alone with no one but your father there for him, and by painting it out to be some exotic holiday she had convinced you to tag along.
It was a mistake.
Sean had started coming home later and later every night, adjusting well to life in the city. You on the other hand, had absolutely no friends, and despised your days with every fiber of your being. You had begun marking days off your calendar, counting down eagerly for the month to be over and for you to return home.
“I hate it here.” You shoveled food into your mouth, standing with your back against the counter of the kitchen as Sean absentmindedly filled a glass of water. “Why did I choose to come with you?”
“How would I know?.” He mumbled under his breath, pulling his phone out of his pocket as it buzzed.
“You know if you hadn’t been so-”
“Yeah, yeah, yeah,” He cut you off, rolling his eyes. “I get enough if that from Mom and Dad. Don’t need it from you too.”
His accent was far stronger than yours, and you mocked him, feeling defeated when he just rolled his eyes and turned back to his phone.
He read whatever was on the screen with a small smile on his face and nosily you leaned over, wanting to get a look.
“Fuck off.” He shoved your shoulder, still smiling.
“What’s got you looking all happy?” You asked, raising an eyebrow.
He looked at you, a mischievous smile on his lips as you waited.
“How do you feel about going out tonight?”
                                                 【~~~】
Bodies crammed together in the parking garage, all surrounding the hundreds of cars parked in the lot. The immaculate paint jobs shined in the harsh neon lights, and most of them had their hoods up and their incredible engines on display, leaving your jaw on the ground every time.
You stuck close to Sean and Twinkie, feeling safer with your younger brother and his best friend. You felt intimidated by the gorgeous women who surrounded you, not that you were there to impress anyone. You were there for the cars.
The shitty 1990 Accord you had back in the states was nothing compared to the beasts that were parked in here.
You could feel vibrations in the ground, from the music and cars and it brought a small smile to your face as you walked through the swarm of people.
Sean’s eyes were scanning the crowd intently, clearly searching for someone.
He finally located who he was after and pulled you and Twinkie in the direction, his smile growing.
“There are some people I want you to meet.”
You were introduced to some faces you knew you wouldn’t remember, a gorgeous girl named Neela being one of the few you did.
You didn’t miss the way they looked at each other, or the way her boyfriend would possessively interrupt when you were talking to her, much to her dismay.
“And finally,” Sean said as you approached a man leaning back against his car, a small smirk on his face. “The one and only, Han.”
You flicked your eyes up to meet his, ignoring the way your breath slightly hitched in your throat.
He stuck his hand out to grasp yours, and you gripped it back with the same smirk he was wearing.
“Y/n.” You introduced yourself, not missing the way his eyes slowly traveled up and down your body. “I’m sorry about what my brother did to your car.”
His eyes returned to you, a smile on his face.
“It’s fine. Plenty of others sitting in that garage.”
You raised an eyebrow.
“Oh yeah?”
“Yeah.” He nodded, his smile turning into a shy grin.
“Better keep Sean away from them then.” You teased, turning to your brother only to realize he had left.
You noticed him standing by Neela again, walking around her car while her boyfriend, Takashi, watched intently from afar.
“He’s in love. Has been since he saw her.” Han rolled his eyes, popping a chip into his mouth.
“Hard to see why he wouldn’t be.” You said. “She’s beautiful. Kind. Into cars.”
“And what about you?”
“What do you mean?”
“Are you kind? Into cars?” He asked, following your eyes to Sean and Neela.
“You forgot beautiful.” You said with a small laugh as you moved to stand next to him, leaning against the Mazda RX-7 behind you. You were praying to god it was his car, otherwise the lucky owner would probably get very, very pissed.
“Nah.” He turned his head and looked down at you. “Don’t need to ask you that to figure it out.”
A blush crept into your cheeks and you couldn’t stop the smile from appearing on your face.
“Well, usually when someone is kind they don’t run around telling others about it.” Your eyes met his again. “And I love cars.”
He grinned at you, and you turned your head to look back at Sean.
A part of you wanted to play hard to get, but the other part knew that even after only five seconds of talking to this man you were fucking done for and he knew that as well.
“And what about you?” You copied his earlier words, elaborating when you saw his confused face. “Are you kind? Into cars? Beautiful?”
“Beautiful?” He scoffed. “Sweetheart I’m a damn model.”
You let out a laugh, feeling yourself relax.
“I was kind enough to not beat your brother to death after he totaled my car.” Han joked. “And as for cars-” He gestured to the garage, full of stunning, high performance cars capable of stealing your heart in a matter of seconds. “-I probably wouldn’t be here if I didn’t like them.”
“Yeah I suppose that was obvious.” You let out a content sigh. This was the first time you had forgotten about your little countdown, and also the longest conversation you had had with someone who you weren’t related to.
The two of you fell into a comfortable silence, admiring the cars that surrounded you for a few minutes before he turned back to you again.
“What are you doing here Y/n?”
Your head turned to his, your eyebrows furrowed. “What do you mean?”
“Oh come on, you think Sean doesn’t gush about his amazing older sister every chance he gets?” Han rolled his eyes at you like you were stupid.
“No. I find that very hard to believe.” You let out a small laugh. “And you still haven’t answered my question.”
“Sean told me that you were eighteen, turning nineteen in a few months time. No one is forcing you to be here, in Japan.” Han explained, his dark eyes staring into yours. “And yet here you are. Living in Tokyo, miserable, because your delinquent brother couldn’t stay out of trouble in the states. Why?”
Your mouth opened, then closed, then fell open again. You turned your head away from the piercing dark eyes and glanced at your brother.
“Because that guy who destroyed your car is my baby brother. He’s the closest family I’ve got.” You watched Sean as he spoke to Neela, hearts in his eyes. “Family stick together Han. I couldn’t let him just up and leave to a brand new country, with no one but our father there for him.”
Han watched the way you spoke, feeling a warmth across his chest.
“It’s my job to protect him and be there for him, and I don’t care if I’m miserable the whole time I’m doing it. I’m going to be there.”
His jaw almost dropped as your words hit him like bricks.
“You know,” He started. “You remind me of someone I used to go way back with.”
You scoffed light-heartedly.
“How old are you?”
He just grinned. “Too old for you.”
“Well luckily for you, my age is too young for me.” You said. Despite your tone being confident your body was completely betraying you, bracing itself for rejection.
Instead he just laughed and ran a hand through his hair.
Both of your heads snapped to the right as someone called his name, and you felt your heart fall when you realized that he was probably going to leave.
He sent a quick wave to the person who called out and pushed himself off the Mazda, gazing down at you.
“You know,” He started, a shy smile creeping onto his face. “If you ever get bored during the day you should come by the garage. I think I could make it worth your time.”
You let out a small laugh.
“We’ll see.”
                                                【~~~】
“You made friends pretty fast.” Sean said teasingly as you entered the kitchen, your hair sticking up in all kinds of directions.
“Yeah and so did you apparently.” You sent a sarcastic smile back in his direction. “Pity she’s taken.”
The smile on his face dropped instantly and he went back to his breakfast, ignoring you.
After a few minutes of silence between the two of you he spoke up again.
“So are you gonna?”
You looked up from your phone and coffee, furrowing your brows.
“Am I gonna what?”
“Swing by Han’s garage?” He had a knowing smirk on his face. “He told me all about your little conversation.”
You just shrugged casually, not wanting to let him know how you really felt inside.
“Maybe, if I have the time.”
“All you have here is time.” He scoffed. “All you’ve done for the past few days is buy food, eat it, then sleep. You may as well.”
You let out a sigh and finished what was left of your drink.
“Yeah, and for your information Sean, it’s been great.”
“You know you wanna Y/n.” He teased, a grin on his face.
“How about this,” You started. “Let me know next time you head over there. Maybe I’ll tag along.”
“Sounds good to me.” Sean said. “Especially given that I’ll be there tonight.”
Your cool demeanor dropped and your eyes widened.
“Tonight?”
“That’s what I said.” He grinned. “I’ll be sure to let him know he can look forward to seeing you there with me.”
“I’m gonna fucking kill you.” You whispered under your breath.
He just shrugged his shoulders.
“You’d be doing me a favor if it meant I’d never have to see your gross face again.”
“What are you? Five?” You asked.
“I’d say that’s about right.”
You just scoffed at him, heading back to your room.
Not that you’d ever admit it to Sean, but you were glad that he’d be heading over to the garage tonight.
You would definitely rather die than tell him that though.
                                               【~~~】
You shut the car door behind you and stepped out into the cool evening air.
Sean had come by to pick you up after he had finished school, and you had been anxiously waiting all day.
Now you were finally here, and still very, very anxious.
“This doesn’t look like a garage to me.” You furrowed your brows, looking out at the water.
“That’s because it’s in there.” Sean pointed to the large brick building. “We’re gonna stay out the front, this is where Han’s been teaching me how to drift.”
“Oh.” You managed to get out, following your baby brother to a group of people who were all sitting down by stacks of tires.
All four faces were familiar, but you only remembered the names of two of them.
“Y/n.” Han greeted you, nodding his head with a smile as he casually held the bottle in his hand.
“Hi.” You smiled back at him, your nerves starting to melt away.
Sean gestured to the empty seat beside Han, and you took it.
The others tossed you friendly smiles which you returned, and Han looked up at Sean.
“Go get your sister a drink.” He said.
Sean did as he was asked, reaching into the cooler that had been brought along and handing you a bottle of something.
“Are you gonna have one?” You asked your brother as you opened it and took a small sip.
“Can’t drink and drive now, can I?” He smirked, digging his keys out of his pocket and heading back towards the Evo.
“Well that’s a first.” You scoffed, and you heard Han let out a small laugh beside you.
“I’m guessing the cowboy doesn’t wanna fuck up another one of Han’s cars.” Twinkie said, watching Sean as his climbed into the car and started it.
You looked over at Han.
“That’s your car?”
“Yep.” He nodded proudly, watching Sean as he started his usual route around the dock.
“How many more have you got hiding in that garage of yours?” You asked with a small laugh.
“You’ll have to come see for yourself.” He shrugged.
“Maybe.” You shrugged as well, missing the way Twinkie and the others looked back and forth at each other.
“You know,” Han started. “If you haven’t got any other plans tonight, I could take you out for a drive, grab some food. Maybe come back to the garage when everyone’s gone.” He said the last part quietly enough for only you to hear.
You looked over to Sean in the car, able to make out his face of concentration despite how far away you were from him. He wouldn’t miss you for one night.
“When do we leave?” You asked with a smile.
He grinned with a surprised laugh, and you could tell he had been expecting you to say no.
“Now, if that works for you.”
You looked back at Sean, wincing at the sound of the tires screaming against the road.
“Sounds good.”
                                              【~~~】
The two of you had ended up getting cheap food from a side-of-the-road vendor, eating in silence in the car before making small talk about everything, from your life back in America to what kind of animals you thought you could take on in a fight.
You were laughing when you stumbled out of the RX-7 and into the cool night air, following Han into the garage which wasn’t that much warmer.
You didn’t know what you had expected when you walked into the garage, but it definitely wasn’t what you saw.
Han gestured for you to follow him up some stairs to an open second story, furnished with a small kitchen, table and chair, and living area.
“Wow.” You mumbled under your breath, realizing he must have some serious money to be able to afford all of this. Not to mention the cars in there, some of which cost more than your house, car and life savings combined.
“It’s my pride and joy.” He pointed towards the sofa, and you took a seat, sinking in to the plush material as he opened the fridge and called out to you. “You want a drink?”
“Yeah thanks.” You smiled, and he pulled out two of the same bottles you had been drinking from earlier.
He took a seat beside you, on the opposite edge of the relatively small sofa, and the two of you sat in silence for a moment, reflecting on your night, before you spoke up.
“Thank you.” You said quietly, and he looked at you in confusion. “For what you’re doing for Sean, I mean.”
“It’s not a problem.” He brushed it off. “He’s a good kid, the kinda person I want to be around.”
You let out a scoff.
“Well I wouldn’t go that far.”
He chuckled at you.
“Thank you.” He said, and this time it was your turn to be confused. “You might not realize it. but coming out here with Sean has made it so much easier for him. He probably won’t ever tell you, but he’s grateful as hell and crazy lucky to have you in his life.”
A small blush crept up onto your cheeks, and you almost didn’t notice as he crept closer towards you. Almost.
“Yeah well he’s also crazy lucky to have met you.” You said quietly, your eyes meeting his as the two of you drew closer and closer. “I am too.” You whispered.
“And why’s that?” He asked, his tone matching yours, and you swore the room got hotter by about twenty degrees.
“You’re kind,” You started, remembering back to last night when you met him. “Into cars.” You continued, and he nodded along, agreeing with you.
“You forgot beautiful.” He whispered, just inches from your face now, and you smiled cheekily.
“You’re a damn model sweetheart.”
He grinned, his eyes flicking down to your lips briefly and before you could realize what was happening his lips were on yours.
Your hands instinctively went to his hair, pulling him closer to you as you laid down flat on your back, feeling his hands roam up and down your body.
You felt butterflies erupt in your chest as your hands wandered from the back of his head, and so did your mind.
Sean’s face flashed in your mind and you inhaled sharply, pushing Han off of you and sitting up, breathing heavily.
“Shit.” You hissed, moving to the edge of the sofa and holding your head in your hands. “Shit, shit, shit.”
“What? What’s wrong?” Han asked, also breathing heavily. His tone sounded confused, and guilt racked through your body. “I’m sorry.” His voice changed to apologetic. “I thought you wanted to.”
“I do.” You whined. “I want to, but I can’t. We can���t do this.”
“Why not?” He asked, placing a hand on your thigh.
“Sean.” You turned to look him in the eyes, and his face dropped.
“Shit.” He said.
“Shit.” You agreed.
The two of you sat in silence, still trying to catch your breaths, and trying to think of a way to fix the now incredibly awkward situation.
“I think I should leave.” You said, pushing yourself up off the sofa.
“Y/n don’t go.” Han protested. “It’s the middle of the night and you’ve been drinking. Neither of us can drive and I’m not going to let you walk home or get into a taxi with some creep.”
You let out a sigh, not letting him see how the fact that he cared that much made you all warm and fuzzy inside, or how the fact that it made you all warm and fuzzy inside made you want to gag.
“What do I do then?” You asked.
“Take my bed.” He nodded towards a door that you were assuming led to his bedroom. “I’ll take the sofa.”
“No way.” You protested. “This is your home Han, you aren’t sleeping on that tiny ass sofa. I can, it’s no problem.”
His eyes looked like he wanted to argue, but he kept his mouth shut.
“Ok. I’ll go grab you some blankets.”
“Thanks.” You smiled, laying down on the sofa.
It was undeniably comfortable, and you let your eyes close before Han returned, vaguely feeling him place a thick blanket over the top of you before pressing a quick kiss to your forehead, leaving you with butterflies.
Your mind started to slip out of consciousness, and you let it, forgetting about how you were sleeping in Han’s garage, and planning on being out of there before he woke up the next morning.
𝐌𝐚𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐥𝐢𝐬𝐭
Just a fun little something that took me about a week to finish writing! Hope you like it and requests are most certainly open <3
If anyone would like to be on the tag list for part 2, please let me know!
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finelinevogue · 3 years ago
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Can we get some more brother!harry?
I really enjoyed your piece where he caught her smoking ❤️
of course you can!! (rip if your name is natalia) hope this is what you wanted;
Natalia.
Beautiful name to juxtapose a horrible excuse of a human being.
Harry was never that great when it came to choosing his girlfriends, but this one was by far the worst. Bekka had been bad, because she had been cheating on Harry with her best friends dad. India was just so toxic, to the point where she’d ask Harry why he wasn’t mad with her over the most trivial things as if she wanted him to be mad. Daya was ok, but she wanted different things to what Harry wanted and so they ended up in a massive argument and ending things quicker than they started. Natalia though, wow. She was something else and that wasn’t a compliment.
You don’t know whether it was just because she targeted you especially, but she was just a downright cruel person. You could easily tell her intentions with your brother were not good. She was a plain ol’ gold digger, evident from the credit card that Harry leant her and she spent so much on it the bank had to call Harry to ask him to authorise that he was aware of the amount of money being spent. She bought a car with his card. A fucking car. Harry was too blinded by her beauty and her experience that he was oblivious to her witchy behaviour towards you. It wasn’t like you hadn’t tried to tell him either, it was more that he didn’t care enough.
“No Harry. No.” You argued with him, standing in the middle of the kitchen as he was busy washing the rest of the dishes in the sink. It was just the two of you home at the moment, because Gemma and Anne were spending the weekend at an exclusive spa in Cheshire, so you didn’t understand how there were so many dishes.
“Y/N, it’s not an option. You’re not staying at home by yourself.” Harry spoke sternly back to you, letting out his frustration by vigorously scrubbing the dishes.
“I’m literally 17 - 18 in like 3 weeks. I’m more than capable of staying home.” You stomped your foot to the ground like a child.
“And I don’t care. You’re coming to lunch whether you want to or not.” Harry finished the last plate and dries his hands on the towel next to the sink, before throwing it over to you.
“But she’ll be there.”
“She’s my girlfriend, so you’ll nice to her.”
“If she’s nice to me, then yeah.” You rolled your eyes and walked over to the sink to start drying the dishes that Harry just cleaned.
“ Y/N, I swear to God.” Harry groaned in frustration, tugging a stressful hand through his hair. “Can you at least pretend to be happy for me for once?”
“Gee Harry, i’m just so happy to be going out to lunch with you and your girlfriend!” You put on the biggest grin as your sarcasm practically dripped from your tongue.
“Stop being a spoilt little shit and finish those dishes. We’re leaving in 20.” Harry spoke harshly, before leaving the room with a heavy strop to his step. It left you to blink back the tears that you couldn’t help that Natalia was ruining your whole relationship with your brother.
You and Harry used to be so tight nit, now it would be a miracle if he spent a day with you per month. Natalia had come along 5 months ago and she had completely turned Harry’s life around for the worst, only Harry was too ignorant to see that. Anne had come home multiple times to find you crying because Harry had cancelled on you, again, or Natalia had said something that had really hurt. Normally you were okay with taking hate, but Natalia made it somehow worse than that. Even if Anne or Gemma tried to talk Harry about the damage all this was causing you it would always be the same response;
“She just wants attention.”
The restaurant was very pretty.
It was one that you and Harry used to go to all the time, when there was no girlfriend around. It sold the best pastries and life-changing eggs on toast. The food was always delicious and the staff were so completely lovely. You were glad to be coming here, making you feel more comfortable than you would if you went to a expensive fancy restaurant instead. This little restaurant, named ‘Lemon Puffs’ after their infamous lemon, cream and pastry puffs, made you feel safe and happy.
“Remember to just be nice.” Harry spoke as you both approached the table that Natalia was already sat at. She was too busy on her phone to realise you were even here.
“If she plays nice then yeah.” You bit back.
“Y/N just stop being petty, y’pissing me off now.” Harry argued. “Whine like a bitch later. I don’t need it today.”
You stopped talking after that, not having anything else to say to him. He’d made it very clear that you were only here because he didn’t trust you at home by yourself, but by the same token wanted you quiet because he didn’t trust you enough to speak nicely. Harry hugged and kissed Natalia like he hadn’t just seen her last night and then sat down opposite to her, leaving you to sit next to Harry because you sure as hell weren’t sitting next to her. Natalia didn’t even make the effort to hug you or shake hands, in fact you barely got a simple hello.
“You alright, baby?” Natalia asked, twirling her hand into Harry’s from across the table. Disgusting.
“Yeah i’m good. This one’s a pain in my arse, as always.” Even with his joking tone, you knew he was being somewhat serious and that really messed with you.
“Typical.” Natalia rolled her eyes and tutted her tongue, not hesitating to use the opportunity to be mean to you. Harry thought she was merely playing along with his words, but you new otherwise.
“You know what you want yet?” Harry asked as he pulled his own attention towards the menu. You didn’t need to look at the menu, as being here so many times has allowed you to discover the perfect order.
“I think i’m just going to get the salad, but without the chicken, cheese or cucumber.” She answered, sipping on the water she must’ve already ordered whilst waiting for you both.
“So just lettuce?” You asked, not meaning for it to be a condescending question and yet she took it that way anyways.
“Is there something wrong with that, Y/N?” She asked, being really harsh in the way she spoke your name - as if the syllables actually caused her pain to speak.
“N-no I was just—”
“Didn’t think so.” She snapped and turned away from you to look back towards Harry, with her shit-eating grin that didn’t fool you. Harry kicked you leg under the table too, not appreciating the way you were speaking to Natalia. He didn’t even think about the way his girlfriend was speaking to you though. As usual.
“I’ll probably get the salad too.” Harry nodded his head and you shook your head as he spoke. Harry would never normally get a salad. Like, that’s so Kardashian of him. Harry, whenever he came here with you, always ordered a cheese and pickle panini, with extra crunchy pickles, a portion of chips and some halloumi fries too. Oh and then a cake for pudding. He wouldn’t have gone for a boring salad. Fucking Natalia was ruining him and you hated to have a front row seat of it.
“Not the usual then?” You tried to joke with him, but he was clearly still pissed off with you for being… you.
“Why, are you?” He asked quizzically.
“Obviously.” You smiled, which made Harry smile for a split second before Natalia pulled him away from you. Your smile disappeared and a frown settled in, knowing it would stay there for a long time.
“Babe, I am here too you know?” Natalia joked, bur you could see the anger and jealousy behind her eyes. If looked could kill you’d be ten feet under, twenty times over by now.
“Sorry, yeah.” Harry cleared his throat and paid closer attention to her.
Lunch went by slowly.
Natalia scoffed when she heard your order; poached eggs on toast with three pieces of crispy bacon on the side, a portion of chips and a mint iced tea. Oh and a cake for pudding, but you’d come to that later. Natalia ate her lettuce as Harry eat his salad as you ate your eggs on toast with bacon and chips. You loved the food, hated the company and couldn’t make up your mind whether you loved or hated being here. Natalia and Harry talked throughout lunch, leaving you out of all their conversations. The only time Harry spoke to you was when he asked whether your food was okay, eyeing it up as if he wanted to make love to it and send his salad to the nearest dumpster.
“Was everything alright for you?” Paul, the owner of the business and dude in charge of the eggs asked you when all your plates were empty as Harry’s growling stomach.
“Lovely, thank you.” Harry responded gratefully.
“Perfect.” You smiled as you handed your dirty plate to Paul.
“It was a bit plain.” Natalia moved her plate away from her in disgust and Paul put on his best customer smile, apologising for that before leaving to go and ring up the bill.
“Okay i’m just going to go for a quick wee before I pay.” Harry announced, getting up from the table to go to the loo.
“Okay babe. Don’t be too long.” She called out and then it was left just you and her.
“Well this was nice.” You tried to be nice, as Harry told you to, and start a meant conversation with your arch enemy. Kill ‘em with kindness - that was Harry’s slogan wasn’t it?
“If you hadn’t have been here then yeah.” She turned her nose up at you.
“Look,” you began, wanting her to understand something, “whatever i’ve done to upset you and make you hate me, i’m sorry. Just, I don’t want you to dislike me and I know that Harry really likes you so I want us to be able to get along.”
“Listen, Y/N,” there it was again - your name spoken with dripping venom, “I don’t want to get along with you. You make me sick. You are such a baby to Harry and you’re needy, which means I don’t get to spend time with my boyfriend—”
“Don’t get to spend time with him?” You had to laugh at that. Apart from today, you’d seen Harry maybe a total of 2 hours this whole week and it was Saturday. “You’re practically attached at the hip.”
“Not enough. Harry needs to keep away from you, you only bring him trouble.”
“I’m his fucking sister.” You shouted quietly, not wanting to disturb the peace for the rest of the customers.
“Not an excuse. Look Y/N, I understand that you are quite lonely and don’t have many friends? Maybe you should consider that’s for a very good reason?” She rhetorically asked you and that made you sit back a bit. She was pulling apart your insecurities now and exposing them to find the most painful parts, so she could watch you suffer with only the curse of her words.
“It’s not like that.” You tried to convince yourself more than her, tears in your eyes over something so hurtful to you.
“No? ‘Cause I think that you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.” She stood up dusted herself off as he noticed Harry walk back over to the table, smiling as if she hadn’t just shot his sister in the heart.
Her words stung more than a scorpions tale, and yes unfortunately you knew what that felt like. Natalia was right. You were alone, friendless and just trouble. There was a reason that you were all of this and Natalia had hit the nail right on the head with the reason why. You thought of your friends, his they always disappeared and left you and now you sit in the canteen alone or hang out only with yourself on the weekends. You think to Gemma and Anne going away for the weekend, not inviting you because it was age restrictive but you still couldn’t help but think there was a more pressing reason than that. Then you think of Harry and how he was fed up of you. He couldn’t be more resentful of you if he tried. You wanted to be a good friend, a good daughter and most importantly a good sister, but it was so blindingly obvious that you weren’t. You were never going to be.
You stood up from the table too, quickly wiping away a tear from your face before anyone could notice but you didn’t care to see if anyone was actually watching. Harry kissed Natalia and then walked over to the cashier to pay the bill. You noticed Paul and Harry talking and so you walked out of the restaurant and towards the car, still tears in your eyes. You needed to be strong for yourself though, especially because nobody else was going to be.
You stood with you handle to the door of the car waited for Harry to come and unlock it. You heard high heels before the car was unlocked, unfortunately.
“Excuse me, but I ride front.” Natalia spat at you, removing your hand from the door and chivvying you to the back of the car instead.
“You’re coming with us?” You asked, your heart aching that little bit more. You didn’t want to spend another minute in her presence and yet she would now probably spend the rest of the week until your mum and sister came back.
“Ye—”
“No she’s not.” Harry walked out of the restaurant and over to the car, standing in between the both of you but a little more towards you.
“Babe? What do you mean?” Natalia asked, a little bit shocked at his tone with her.
“Firstly dont babe me. Secondly, get your hand off my car. Thirdly, don’t ever come near me or my sister ever again.” Harry ordered angrily. You’d never seen him this angry before. You stood behind him, afraid of what was about to go down.
“What has she said to you, because—”
“She’s my sister and she’s got a name. Y/N didn’t tell me anything. Lemon Puffs, however, has eyes and ears everywhere and it’s amazing the stories you hear when you’re stood at the cashier or next to someone at the urinals.” Harry accused Natalia and she went hot red in the face, embarrassed that this conversation was actually happening.
“I don’t know what you’re talking about.”
“No? Maybe this will jog your memory. ‘I think you aren’t the kind of person anyone wants around, including Harry.’” Harry raised his eyebrows and crossed his arms over his chest confrontationally. Guarding and protecting you. You felt safe.
“Wha— You think I would say that?” Natalia asked, pretending to be offended by the accusation.
“I don’t know, let’s ask Y/N shall we? Y/N, did Natalia say that to you?” Harry asked, turning to look at you with hope in his eyes, but also sorriness for everything that’s happened. You could see it all behind his eyes and you wanted to squeeze him tight to accept his apology, because you loved him and you needed him.
“Y-yes.” You answered, looking down so you didn’t have to make eye contact with Natalia.
“Harry you can’t possibly believe her.” Natalia laughed, but there was heavy insecurity in her tone.
“I trust her more than anyone. More than you. I trust Y/N with my life.” Harry back answered, taking no more bullshit from his ex-girlfriend. “We’re done Natalia. Okay? I don’t want to see you ever again. What you’ve said and done to my sister is unforgivable and I don’t want someone like you in my life.”
“You were a dick too.” You added quietly behind him and he just turned round to smile and wink at you.
“So what? That’s it?” Natalia asked, dumbfounded.
“Bye Natalia.” Harry walked around to the drivers seat and you to the passenger side. He stopped before opening the door though, wanting to say one last thing. “The bill was split in half by the way. Paul’s just inside waiting for you to pay.”
With that, you both got in the car, laughing at Natalia’s reaction and just everything. Apologises were made and promises of no relationships until you two had built back up yours were sworn. It would take time, but Harry was willing to prove that he was a good brother and you were always going to be someone he wanted around.
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zealoushound · 4 years ago
Text
Where I Belong
Summary: Your and Mike's son has a bad dream. He wants his father to comfort him. While comforting his little boy he reflects back on his past.
Pairing: Mike/Reader, Mike with his son
Word Count: 1,275
Warnings: none. All fluff. Sweetheart Mikey being a sweetheart dad.
A/N: I really wanted to see Mikey as a father, then suddenly inspiration struck. Mike deserved better so we’re out here giving it to him!
Disclaimer: I do not own Mike, Hellrasier, or Henry Cavill, much to my dismay. Only the kids and the wife are my original creation.
Do not copy any part of my material to use as your own. Do not repost my work, or any portions of my work on any site and claim it as your own. Like all my other fics, this was written on my phone and not beta’d.
***
This work of art right here came from the lovely @luna-aestas Thank you so much for such a beautiful piece!
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***
It was 2:13 am according to the alarm clock on your bedside table. Your home was peacefully quiet. Then from the darkness of your bedroom came a small voice. “Daddy?” The voice was very soft, very timid. “Daddy?” The little voice was scared.
You were sleeping peacefully, unaware of the meek little voice calling out for his father. A shaky little hand reached out for his fathers shoulder. Giving him a light shake, he spoke a bit louder this time, with fresh tears falling from his eyes, “Daddy?”
Mike woke from a dream of his own. His reality went from losing his swimming trunks at the water park he used to frequent in his childhood, to the familiar darkness of his current bedroom that he shared with his wife of five years. There was a dim nightlight by the door, and one in the hallway for your son to be able to see his way around if needed, but otherwise nothing except the orange glow of the street light down below between the slits in the blinds of your window by the bathroom.
“Daddy?” Mike took in a sharp inhale of breath through his nose, letting his eyes adjust.
“Adam? What’s the matter buddy?” Mike sat up somewhat confused, putting his legs over the edge of the bed, and picked up his son. Holding him close as he started to cry harder. “Come on buddy, let’s go to your room so we don’t wake mama.” You were seven months pregnant, and he knew just how precious sleep was to you right now.
Standing up, holding Adam, he threw one arm back to stretch then walked the nervous toddler back to his bedroom. Adam clutching his fathers bare shoulder the entire way. “Tell me what’s wrong buddy.” Mike said, going into Adam's room.
“I have bad dream.” Mike's face fell a bit. He sat Adam down on the bed. Sitting down beside him he watched as the four year old wiped his face with the sleeve of his pajamas.
“I’m sorry kiddo. Wanna tell me what it was about?” Mike brushed his son's unruly curls out of his face.
Adam sniffled. Begrudgingly he began telling his father his nightmare. “There was a bear in my room. Him was a bad bear, daddy.” He looked around like he was looking for the beastly bear to come back. “Him bit me! And him was gonna eat me!”
Mike’s eyes widened in pretend shock, he gasped, “No way! Quick! Let me look at you!” Mike rolled up his son's sleeves, lifted his shirt over his head, tilting him back and forth, inspecting his stomach and back. He rolled up the legs of Adam’s pajamas. Adam was giggling at his fathers reaction. “Phew, no bear bites! Looks like that bear let you go! Musta been scared off cause of these stinky feet!” He crossed his eyes, sticking out his tongue and played dead, flopping back onto the mattress.
“Daddy!” Adam’s laughter filled the room. He laid down with his dad. Mike shifted into a more comfortable position knowing he wasn’t going anywhere anytime soon. “Tell me a story daddy.”
Mike recanted the age-old story that his grandmother used to tell him about the three bears, but gave it a more happy ending, and made Goldielocks a little boy named Sam. Telling him in the end that the bears all befriended the little boy. He was even invited inside to eat dinner after having help fix the things that he had broken.
“Daddy?” Mike could tell Adam was getting sleepy again.
“Yeah, kiddo?” He was softly running his fingers through his son's hair.
“Do you ever have bad dreams?” Such an innocent question. One that could bring back such dark memories if he were to allow it. Not tonight.
Mike inhaled sharply, remembering the sounds of the shovels digging into the earth to free him; the scraping of metal against wood. “Yeah buddy, sometimes.” Adam looked up into his eyes as he continued. “Your mom saved me from those dreams though. She made them stop. But when I do have them I just wake her, and she holds me until the monsters go away.” Mike smiled fondly talking about his wife. The mother of the children he never imagined he’d have.
Adam yawned, and smiled. “Close your eyes little guy. That bear ain’t coming back. If he does just feed him some porridge. That’ll make him happy.” Adam closed his eyes and was asleep in minutes.
Mike stayed awake a little bit longer thinking about his family. Thinking what would have happened had that officer not realized what was going on at that house that night. He had never thought he’d be so grateful to see the inside of an ambulance. That was the night he met you.
You weren’t even supposed to be working that evening. You had pulled a double because someone was sick. You were the second person he saw that night. When they opened the casket an officer called for help. “We got a live one! Need some help over here!” You were the one to answer that call. You helped pull him from the earth.
Mike fell asleep thinking about seeing your beautiful face for the first time that night. Thinking about the way you gently shushed him, putting the oxygen mask over his mouth and held him to you in the back of that ambulance because he refused to lie down, terrified that if he did he’d end up back in that box. The way your fingers brushed his curls back away from his face.
You woke up that morning around 7:30 reaching for your husband but found only his pillow. You got up slowly, wanting to take care of nature’s business then go looking for him. After washing your hands you walked down the hall to check on your son. The sight that greeted you made you smile wide.
There was no denying Adam was Mikey’s son. They were both on their backs, their right arms were both up and over their heads, the left draped over their stomachs. They were both snoring, both mouths wide open. There were curls everywhere! You went, and grabbed your phone to snap a picture.
“I love you my boys.” You quietly say rubbing your bump. “Little girl these boys are going to be wrapped around your finger I just know it.” You went downstairs to cook breakfast.
Mike joined you in the kitchen not long afterward. Kissing the back of your neck he mumbled a good morning. “Say, do you remember what the first thing I ever said to you was?”
You laughed, “How could I forget?!” You turned away from what you were doing to look at him. “‘Hey sweet cheeks, you always look this good saving lives?’” Mike laughed at you when you tilted your head like he did when he flirted. “To which I responded, ‘normally no, but you making me roll around in all this dirt gave me a more natural look.’”
You touched his face as his hands caressed your full abdomen. His little girl. “I’m so glad I worked that double. I was so pissed I had to take that shift. Who knew three hours later I’d meet my soulmate.”
Mike hummed, pressing a gentle kiss to your forehead, closing his eyes in bliss. Some would say it was divine intervention, some would say fate, or it just wasn’t his time, but if anyone asked Mike, he would tell them he didn’t know, and didn’t care all he knew was that he was exactly where he was meant to be.
***
Tag list: (As always if you want on or off please let me know!)
@foodieforthoughts @wendimydarling @hope-to-hell @littlefreya @nuggsmum @killjoy-assbutt-1112 @summersong69 @oddduckthatgirl @christhickevans @winter2112rose @ladycavillry @mary-ann84 @twhstuckylover @cavills-little-princess @luclittlepond
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jolapeno · 3 years ago
Text
Stood Up + Salads
Diego Hargreeves x Fem!Reader Words: 1.5k AN: Set with a S1 Diego but not S1 or S2 storyline. For a friend, you know who you are.
He didn’t need to look up when the door goes, he knows it’s you. Because when it rains, it pours.
Diego wonders if he should be more upset about his father, rather than being upset he’s had to see the others. Only for him to take his frustration out on you, consciously or not.
The fact you allow the door to meet the frame with such a loud thud is enough of a signal to him that you’re pissed.
Diego takes a second, thinking of his next steps as he swipes his tongue over his teeth, staring at the punching bag, as if it’s going to provide any answers on what he should do. How he could get out of this. Because if he plays this wrong, which he will, it’s going to spiral. Becoming so much worse than it already is.
A whole lot fucking worse.
And it’s already bad.
Hitting the bag once, twice and then thrice, he pays attention to your footsteps nearing. Not turning, not needing to see if your arms are folded, lips pursed and giving him one of you signature dead expressions. He knows you will be, because Diego fucking knows you and you know him.
And he hates it.
He despises that you know about his tick. About his family. About his upbringing, talent and everything else in between. He hates that you suggested calling off the meal before he did, and he hates himself for agreeing to go even if he knew he wouldn’t attend.
Because he’s decided he hates being happy.
He likes being miserable, likes fighting petty crime without anyone to come home to.
“Asshole.”
Rolling his head, he casts his eyes over you. Finding you exactly as he’s imagined. The only—slight—difference is the look in your eyes.
Sadness. A look which doesn’t suit you. One which stands out to him, because he’s seen it so rarely.
It swirls in your eyes, mixing with your usual shade, darkening them as they pin him to his spot. Or try to.
Letting his hands fall to his sides, he lets out a sigh before he can help himself. And the glare you send him is enough to force him to turn to face you.
When it comes to you, he isn’t sure if he hates how close you are to him physically or metaphorically; not sure if he dislikes it more that he wants to kiss you or let you love him.
“Hello to you too.”
Your lips twitch into a smirk. “You don’t deserve a hello.”
“Touché.”
“Surprised you know that word.”
“Under all this, I’m clever y’know?”
“Are you?” you snap, and you roll your lips together.
Those painted plump lips that’s kissed every inch of him. That he’s woke up dreaming about and gone to sleep pressed against.
“You’re angry—“
“Oh, I’m past angry, Hargreeves,” you says, tapping your foot on the gym floor. “I was angry when I was on my second glass, wondering where you were. I was fuming when I left, embarrassed and ready to hunt you down. Now, now I’m almost murderous.”
He hasn’t been called his surname in sometime. Hasn’t found himself in hot waters, with you at least, in sometime. Even angry, he feels your eyes rake down his frame, following a bead of sweat which falls from his neck down his chest and stomach.
Pulling the gloves undone with his teeth, snaps your eyes back up. And he finds himself smirking at you and his own foolishness simultaneously.
Because deep down he’s known this day would come, where you—like most—tired of him. Finding yourself irritated with his ways, of his selfishness and his impulsiveness.
“Let me have it then.”
He throws the gloves to the floor, shifting his weight as he notices the slight narrowing of your eyes. The way your lips twitch, whether a smirk or a smile, he can’t be sure. Usually, there’s less talking when you’re like this; usually you’re already pinned under him or against something. Now, you don’t even look at him like you’d welcome that.
Diego hates you for that too.
Despises that you have gotten under his skin, throwing him off his game. He’s dated. Well, since Patch they’ve not been constant. Real or permanent.
But you, you got to him. He still doesn’t even know how.
You don’t bend as easily, don’t surrender as you should. You fight him, sometimes tooth and fucking nail, and fuck, he doesn’t hate that about you. He loves that. He loves it when you steal the wind from his sail; when you cut him down. You don’t pander to him, you call him out, and he needs that even if he can’t admit it.
He even doesn’t mind that you sooth the insecurity, recognising when enough is enough. Halting anything before it goes too far, leaves too many wounds. You make him want to try to be a little better, even if he fails most days.
“No.”
“No?”
You snort. “No. Because if I rip you a new one, you’ll find some way to say sorry. And, then you’ll kiss me, and I’ll melt, and then you will forget that you’re an asshole.”
“I don’t think I’ll ever forget that.”
Your jaw tenses, almost impossibly so. “For someone in your position, you have a lot of snark.”
“Be careful, you may hurt my feelings.”
Nodding, your lips twist before straightening to an unreadable expression again. “Oh, don’t worry. I’m done.”
His muscles relax.
And his heart stops.
Yet Diego is somehow, not as surprised as he should have been.
Even if he looks at you, staring at your eyes and hoping to see a tease, a jest. He looks hoping you will change your mind, that he hasn’t successfully pushed another person away.
“Took you long en—“
“Im done talking,” you continue, cutting him off. Taking closer steps, slow ones, full of purpose as you dig your eyes into him. “I’m not gonna ask you to do right by me, I’m not gonna ask for an explanation why you decided to stand me up tonight. Hey, you don’t even have to talk to me.”
His forehead creases, flicking his eyes from your eyes to your mouth.
“Because I know why. You want me without the commitment, without the expectations of being a good person. You want a hole to fuck, so here I am, Hargreeves. You’ve got one.”
Fuck.
He stifles a sigh, especially as your finger press into his chest, nail digging down into the skin as you roll your lips and then he has to focus on not groaning. Especially when you bat your eyes lashes and smirk so condescendingly he wonders if you’ve been sent to test him.
“You want to pretend you don’t crave normal, that you don’t deserve it,” you continue, looking up at him, “I’ll play pretend. Hey, I’ll become the best damn actor in your movie you’ll ever know. But, I’m done talking.”
You place your other hand on his, moving his to your hip as you smirk.
“So, lights camera action, baby. Where do you wanna fuck me first?”
He feels your lips ghost over his. His hand clenching around your hip. Everything inside of him telling to just go with it, to not talk, to not burst open in front of you.
To kiss you.
To throw you down on the mats and not talk for hours.
“I-I’m s-sorry.”
“No. No you’re not,” you says, full of sadness, your expression not changing to match your tone. “If you were, you’d have come to dinner. You’d have stabbed your fork into the salad before I’d have told you I want street food.”
You didn’t move, and neither does he. Your hand spreading over his chest, his hand still on your hip.
“You don’t let yourself enjoy anything, because what? Your dad was an asshole and your brother went to the moon?” You ask, head tilted. “Diego, I don’t give a shit if you’re number two, you’re number one for me. But you have to try. You have to try at least ten percent otherwise it’s just me, forcing you to be with me.”
He never feels forced. Not with you.
You’re sometimes the only thing which is good. Which isn’t fucked, tainted or ruined. You’re good, if not a bit too sweary and a bit too good at drinking. But, you’re… nice, and unwilling to let him settle.
“You’re m-my number o-one too.”
“Cool.”
“I mean i-it.”
“Nice.”
“Baby, c'mon?”
You sigh. “What, Diego?”
Diego. He’s Diego again.
He doesn’t smile, even if he wants too.
He doesn’t kiss you, even if he’s fighting every part of himself.
He just stares, using his other hand to cup your cheek. “I am sorry.”
“Salad at a fancy place too good for you?”
He smirked. “Yeah, kinda.”
“Good. Because it’s too fancy for me too.”
“So why we’re we even fucking going, baby?”
“Because,” you say, defiance in your tone, “it’s what normal people do. They don’t meet over a bad game of darts and several beers, and fuck on a boxing ring. They don’t fight a literal mugger with trained assassin-level knife skills a month after beginning to sleep together.”
Your shoulders sink, your expression softening. “They date, at restaurants who charge too much and hold hands across parks. And for a second, one tiny fucking moment, I wanted that for you. I wanted normal, meet-cute type romance before we grabbed whatever was in a cart and we fucked on my new sideboard.”
His thumb brushed over your cheek. “I’d have liked that.”
“You’d have loved that. But—“
“I’m sorry,” he says again, softer, more meaningful, “I’m s-s-sorry. I really am.”
“I’m still mad.”
“That’s okay.”
“You owe me a fancy salad.”
Smirking, he nods. “Baby, I’ll give you a salad bar if you want it.”
“I don’t like salad.”
“No?”
“No.”
Smirking, he cups your cheek with more purpose. “What do you want then, baby?”
He watches your eyes darken. "Oh."
"Oh, indeed. You have a lot of making up to do.”
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ming-yu-hao · 4 years ago
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Distance Makes the Heart Grow Fonder | Chapter 4
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Pairing: fratboy!mingyu x female reader
Word Count: 6.5k
Synopsis: When you transferred to a different university, you and Wonwoo promised that you would make long distance work. But distance proves to be more difficult than you both originally thought.
This Chapter’s Tags: cheating obviously, some angst and fluff, public teasing, unprotected sex (oops), light degradation/impact play/begging, use of restraints, brief face sitting, shit just goes down in general just wait
Warning: THIS SERIES IS ABOUT CHEATING. DO NOT READ IF IT MAKES YOU UNCOMFORTABLE!
A/N: hey... how y’all doing... yeah I disappeared... but I’m back! The past two months were a mess but I’m ready to come back now and I’m v excited. Pls accept this chapter as a token of my forgiveness </3 Feedback is appreciated as always :) AND THANK U FOR 100 FOLLOWERS!!! :D
Chapters: Previous | Next | Masterlist
The ride home was quiet.
Jisoo had drank a little too much, and it was evident by the way she laid her head upon your shoulder and mumbled slurred gibberish against your skin.
You opted to ignore her drunken antics, and instead just wrapped your arm around her shoulder while training your eyes on the darkness outside the front window.
Only when Jisoo trudged over to her bed after taking off her makeup and changing her clothes did she seem to have sobered up. She sprawled across her mattress, her face pressed into the blankets, before she turned and gazed at you. You were laying on your own bed, fidgeting with the hem of your shirt as you stared up at the ceiling.
Finally, Jisoo spoke a coherent sentence.
"Where did you go?" She asked. "At the party," she added a moment later.
You hesitated for a second.
"Wonwoo called me so I went to the bathroom. And then we fought because he was pissed that I went to a party without telling him." You explained. It wasn't a lie; that was what happened, before Mingyu showed up of course.
Jisoo sat up quickly in her bed, crossing her legs like a child listening intently to a teacher. She placed a hand under her chin and narrowed her eyes at you.
"You fought..." She started but trailed off. "Is that why you went off with Mingyu?" She questioned.
You stopped toying with the fabric of your shirt, completely frozen in place at the accusation.
"What?" You responded, your mouth suddenly dry. You sat up in your own bed now, staring at her with wide eyes.
"Come on, I'm not stupid." Jisoo rolled her eyes. "I saw you and Mingyu going upstairs. And then a minute later some guy comes in screaming about how he found Mingyu and some girl fucking in the bathroom. It wasn't hard to put two and two together."
You were horrified. It felt as if a hard punch had been delivered to your gut and a million wasps stung your skin at once. You could barely catch your breath.
"Wha- Does everyone know?" You cried, not even attempting to cover up that you had sex with Mingyu; Jisoo had already figured it out, and there was no way you could ever convince her otherwise.
Jisoo shook her head. "No, I only knew cause I saw you with him. And I didn't say anything to anyone." She reassured you.
You didn't say anything else. Hell, you couldn't even think of anything to say. You threw yourself back against the bed, covering your face with your hands. Embarrassment ate away at you.
Jisoo watched you in your distressed state, and she almost felt inclined to apologize. She shook away the thought and asked: "What are you gonna do?"
You peeled your hands off your face and sighed. You felt like crying again. You hated it; you were so sick of crying.
"What am I supposed to do?" You responded. "I don't even know what I'm doing anymore."
Jisoo chewed on her bottom lip as she thought for a moment. "Well... do you still wanna be with Wonwoo?"
"Yes," you said quickly. "I still love him. And I miss him a lot. But I just... things have been really bad lately."
Jisoo finally laid back down, mimicking you by staring at the ceiling. "You're gonna have to talk things out with him then. Be honest. Stop seeing Mingyu." She sighed. "That's what I would do."
You knew that Jisoo was right. But the thought of cutting off Mingyu left a sour taste in your mouth. You liked him a lot, as a person, and it felt unfair to just ditch him after the times he was there to comfort you.
But this was all so much more unfair to Wonwoo.
"Are you sure... that you wanna stay with Wonwoo?" Jisoo added in response to your silence.
Were you sure?
You said that you loved him: You loved the Wonwoo that took you to the cafe near campus and bought you your favorite latte; the Wonwoo that spent hours in bed with you binge-watching dumb cartoons; the Wonwoo that stayed up late with you on weekends to help you study for your exams.
He was still that same person. Things were just different now that you were far apart and couldn't be in each other's presence anymore.
Right?
Would the Wonwoo from a year ago have ignored your texts and angrily hung up on you?
How could this all possibly be to blame on some distance?
Jisoo took your silence as an answer and cleared her throat to regain your attention. She shifted onto her side to look at you, and you turned your head to meet her eyes.
"Look, I don't think you're a bad person, okay? I think you just made some mistakes." She said. "I know you care a lot about him, but long distance doesn't work for everyone."
You squeezed your eyes shut, trying to stop them from watering.
"Just think about it, okay? I don't want you or other people getting hurt." Jisoo said. She rolled onto her other side, her back now facing you. "Goodnight. Don't stay up too late."
"Goodnight," you finally responded. Your voice was hoarse and weak.
You swallowed, and then reached for your phone.
You: that guy from the bathroom told everyone about you Sent at 12:48 AM
To your surprise, Mingyu responded quickly.
Mingyu: oh I know Sent at 12:48 AM
Mingyu: don't worry I already put him in his place Sent at 12:48 AM
You giggled quietly to yourself as you typed a response.
You: should I be scared for him? Sent at 12:49 AM
Mingyu: nah he'll live Sent at 12:49 AM
Mingyu: goodnight Y/N Sent at 12:49 AM
Mingyu: sweet dreams :) Sent at 12:50 AM
Just as you finished typing a reply, quiet vibrating sounded from Jisoo's side of the room.
She stirred in her light state of sleep, feeling around her bed and eventually pulling her phone out from under her pillow. "Hello?" She said, hints of tiredness evident in her voice.
You wondered who could possibly be calling her right now. You guessed it was Seungcheol, but once Jisoo shot up in her bed alarmingly fast you began to doubt yourself.
"What?" She cried. "Is he okay?"
You sat up yourself now, watching her with concern as she turned on the light and began rummaging through her closet.
"I'm leaving right now. No, I'll be fine. I'll text you." She said as she pulled a backpack out and began wildly shoving items into it.
"What? Where are you going? What's going on?" You questioned once she hung up.
"My dad's in the hospital. Had a stroke or a heart attack or something, I don't know." Jisoo rambled without looking at you. She ran over to the bathroom with her bag in hand. "I'm going home for a few days." She explained from the other room.
When she walked back into the room, her backpack was slung over her shoulders and her eyes were shiny with tears.
"I hope he's okay. Please be safe." You responded, though it just made you feel useless.
"Thank you," she said, looking at you with saddened eyes before turning towards the door. "I'll see you soon." She called over her shoulder before stepping out of the room and shutting the door behind her.
Then you were left alone, with nothing but the dark room and the thoughts that weighed on your conscience.
You found it difficult to fall asleep that night.
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When you walked into class on Tuesday, Mingyu looked different.
His hair was pushed back in his signature style and he wore his usual plain shirt and jeans, but something about him was changed. His chest seemed to be lifted with a newfound confidence.
He gave you a small smile when you approached him, and you swore you noticed his eyes graze over your figure, but you sat down without saying anything. You adjusted your skirt as you settled into your seat and pulled out your phone.
You anxiously checked your notifications, waiting for Wonwoo's name to appear, but there was still no answer.
You finally had sent him a text this morning saying that you needed to talk to him. You had spent the past few days thinking about what Jisoo said, and it was difficult to admit, but she was right.
Now it was just a waiting game until Wonwoo was ready to talk.
A notification caused your phone to buzz, and you perked up as you thought it might be Wonwoo, but instead it was a text from Mingyu.
You glanced over at him with your brows furrowed, and he just stared ahead, biting his lip to suppress a smirk. You opened the message.
Mingyu: you look good Sent at 10:05 AM
Your skin flushed at the compliment, and you quickly typed a reply.
You: you couldn't have said that to me in person? Sent at 10:06 AM
His own phone vibrated against the desk with your response. He picked it up nonchalantly, huffing out a quiet laugh.
Mingyu: well the reason I didn't say it out loud Sent at 10:06 AM
Mingyu: is cause I also wanted to say that I keep thinking about last weekend Sent at 10:06 AM
Mingyu: when your thighs were shaking Sent at 10:06 AM
Mingyu: seeing you in that skirt reminded me of it Sent at 10:07 AM
You impulsively pressed your thighs together, your eyes widening and your lips flattening into a line as each message showed up on your screen.
You: you really think this is the time and place to be saying that? Sent at 10:07 AM
You: calm down you're acting like a douchey frat boy Sent at 10:07 AM
You smiled to yourself at your teasing reply, and you heard Mingyu quietly chuckle.
Mingyu: wowwwww Sent at 10:07 AM
Mingyu: don't act like you don't like it Sent at 10:08 AM
Mingyu: I see you rubbing your thighs together over there Sent at 10:08 AM
You felt your face burn up as you realized he could see the effect he had on you. You didn't respond, letting him continue on.
Mingyu: I know you're a bad girl Y/N Sent at 10:08 AM
Mingyu: you liked it when I spanked you Sent at 10:08 AM
Mingyu: bet you'd like it if I touched you here right now Sent at 10:09 AM
You clicked your phone off quickly, setting it down against the desk. Your face was red, and you cleared your throat, trying to focus as the professor finally entered the room.
You kept your gaze locked on the front of the room, but you could still see Mingyu shifting closer to you out of the corner of your eye.
Just as the professor began talking, fingers brushed against your thigh and began toying with the hem of your skirt. You swallowed thickly, cursing yourself for the growing arousal between your legs.
Mingyu turned his head slightly towards you. "Don't react," he whispered. He turned his attention back to the front of the room, but his hand remained on your thigh, now softly squeezing the flesh between his fingers.
You inhaled a shaky breath, nervously glancing around the room. Luckily, you and Mingyu sat at the edge of the back row; the only other people in your row sat further down and to the left of Mingyu. His body and the desk most likely concealed everything that he was doing to you, but you were still fearful of getting caught.
His hand trailed upwards, slipping underneath your skirt. His fingers pressed into your inner thigh and you bit your lip. He stared forward, his face blank, as if nothing was happening.
His hand brushed against your core, and you inhaled sharply. The corner of his lip quirked up at the sound. Then he pressed his fingers against your clit through the fabric of your underwear.
Your thighs squeezed shut around his hand instinctively, and Mingyu tsked quietly before pushing your legs apart again. He began rubbing slow circles through the fabric, your arousal soaking through. Your stomach was twisting into a tighter knot with each moment that passed.
Then Mingyu suddenly slipped his fingers beneath your underwear, pressing into your bare folds. You gasped quietly and quickly grabbed hold of his wrist.
"Stop," you muttered, your voice full of alarm. Mingyu pulled his hand away, and you clenched as you were left with nothing, but you let out a relieved sigh. You were panting quietly, and he glanced at you with worry in his eyes as he wiped his hand on his pants.
You pulled out your phone and quickly texted him.
You: we can't do that here Sent at 10:14 AM
Mingyu: I'm sorry Sent at 10:14 AM
You glanced at him, and he looked back at you. You nodded as if to say "it's okay" and chewed on your bottom lip as you contemplated sending your next message.
You: come over tonight Sent at 10:15 AM
Mingyu's tongue darted out to lick his lips and he turned his head towards you. His lips were upturned into a smirk as he gave you an affirming nod.
Time seemed to crawl during the rest of your classes for the day; you were anticipating Wonwoo's response and running over in your mind what you were planning on doing with Mingyu later.
As evening approached, a large hole formed in the pit in your stomach. Wonwoo still had yet to respond, which left a bitter taste in your mouth; you guessed he still wasn't done giving you the silent treatment.
You almost texted Mingyu a few times to tell him not to come over, but each time, you thought about his hand slipping beneath your skirt in class and erased your message.
You were only okay with this because Jisoo was still gone, but also, the thought of inviting a guy over to have sex while your roommate was visiting her dad in the hospital made you feel guilty. And gross. When did you become so desperate for some dick?
It was around 10 PM now, and you were pacing around your room while waiting for Mingyu to show up. You had changed out of your skirt, now wearing shorts and a crewneck instead.
A knock at the door startled you, and then your stomach dropped. You were really doing this again. You twisted the knob with hands that trembled softly and opened the door.
Mingyu stood on the other side, and you quickly observed his appearance as he stepped into the room. He also had changed his clothes from earlier. Now he was wearing sweatpants and a zip-up over a t-shirt that hugged his chest nicely. His hair was a bit messier, too.
"Hi," you exhaled.
Mingyu stood tall over you, making you feel small and nervous. You fidgeted with your hands as you stared up at him.
"Hey," he replied, licking his lips as he scanned your face.
You hesitated. "Um... do you wanna watch a movie or something?" Internally, you cursed yourself for being so stiff and awkward. But Mingyu's lips turned up into a small smirk and he agreed.
A moment later, his body laid next to yours on the bed while you picked out some random movie on Netflix. Once it started, the rapid beating of your heart didn't allow you to pay attention to the laptop screen; it was so intense you were afraid that Mingyu could feel it.
You were also hyperaware of the sensation of his body lying next to yours. The warmth of his body radiated onto you and the soft fabric of his clothing felt like a blanket against your bare skin.
"Are you even paying attention?" He asked suddenly, causing you jump slightly.
You cleared your throat. "Y-yeah."
"You seem so tense," he teased. He placed his hand on your thigh and lightly squeezed. You inhaled shakily, keeping your eyes on the screen. "Is something on your mind?"
"No," you gulped.
"Don't lie to me, Y/N." He said with a hushed voice into your ear. "I know what you invited me here for."
His face was so close that his nose was brushing against the side of your face while he spoke. Your stomach was in a tight knot now, and somehow your heart was beating even faster than before.
"You were so wet when I was touching you today." He continued to tease, lightly biting your ear. The hand that rested on your thigh moved up, his fingers brushing against your clit. "I knew you'd like that. You're dirty, aren't you?"
He pressed his fingers to your clit through your shorts as he asked the question. You whined softly, your hips jerking up at the stimulation. Finally, you turned your head towards him, pressing your lips to his in a rough kiss.
Mingyu bit at your bottom lip while he kissed you, and then pulled away after a moment to glance at the laptop that was still playing the movie. "You're not watching this, right?" He joked before shutting it and placing it on the floor.
He hovered over you now, his body caged between your legs, and went back to kissing you, this time with his tongue slipping past your lips. You moaned against his mouth softly as he pressed his warm body against yours.
He pulled away for a moment, making eye contact with you as he asked: "You sure you wanna do this?" He ran his hand down your side reassuringly as he awaited your reply. "We don't have to." He added before pressing a soft kiss to your cheek.
The sudden shift in his demeanor left you stunned for a moment; you quickly nodded before you could hesitate. "Yes, Mingyu." The hands that rested on the back of his neck pulled him closer to you, connecting your lips once again.
His hands began to tug the bottom of your shirt up, and the feeling of his fingers brushing against your stomach left small goosebumps across your skin.
Soon, clothes were discarded about the room, leaving you in only your bra and underwear and Mingyu in his sweats. His bare chest pressed against yours as he sucked and nibbled on the skin of your neck. You let out a soft moan, not even caring about the bruises that would later appear.
Mingyu lifted his face from your neck suddenly, mumbling against your cheek with a small smile on his face: "Can I try something with you?"
You stared at him, eyes wide with curiosity, and he grinned. His eyes seemed to flash with something that resembled insecurity before he finally admitted: "I wanna tie your hands."
You felt a gush of arousal between your legs at the thought—the thought of being teased with the inability to touch his skin. You nodded in approval. The corner of his lip twitched up at your receptiveness, and he glanced over his shoulder before grabbing one of your belts off the floor.
He secured it around your wrists before pushing them above your head, and just as he was about to continue leaving kisses across your body, you spoke. "Mingyu?"
His eyes widened as they rapidly scanned your face for signs of discomfort. "Do you not like it? Should I take it off?"
You snickered at how worried he was before asking: "Can you make it tighter?"
Relief flooded over Mingyu, and then he chuckled softly in disbelief. "Anything for you, sweets," he joked while adjusting the restraints around your wrists. You laughed, and the previous anxiety left your body.
Your wrists were bound tighter now, giving Mingyu full control, and his hands squeezed your waist as he placed a kiss on your chest. "I can't believe you," he said. "Acting so innocent when you're really a little whore for me."
His vulgar words shocked you, but you couldn't deny the other effects they had. You whined quietly, desperately raising your hips to meet his. Mingyu pushed your hips back down against the bed, and then one of his hands reached up to grope your chest.
He left wet kisses and bites across your body as he made his way from your neck to your hips, discarding the last of your clothing and leaving you bare beneath him. His jaw dropped a bit as he pulled your underwear down your legs, revealing the arousal that had built up. "So fucking wet," he observed in awe.
He began to kiss and suck on the skin of your inner thighs, avoiding the place where you needed him most. You wanted to reach down and tug at his hair, but the belt around your wrists prevented the action.
You groaned as you tried pushing your body closer to Mingyu's. "Please, Gyu." You begged. Mingyu glanced up at you from between your thighs with a smirk plastered on his face once he saw how desperate you looked.
"Is this what you want?" He asked as he dragged his fingers through your folds, coating them in your arousal. He rubbed your clit in tight circles and your legs twitched in response.
"More," you said in between moans. You were already sweating and red in the face out of desperation; you could feel your hair sticking to your forehead.
Mingyu stopped his movements, but his hand remained pressed to your clit, and it throbbed beneath his touch. "What else do you want?" He teased. Your eyes were squeezed shut, but you could clearly imagine the cocky, satisfied expression on his face right now. "Tell me," he pleaded.
He suddenly resumed his ministrations, this time at a faster pace, which made your stomach twist. You cried out, unable to form any words. "Come on, Y/N. Use your words."
He brought his hand down to your pussy in a rough slap. The sensation caused your entire body to jolt and you let out a whimper in surprise. Mingyu buried his face in your neck before whispering into your ear: "Beg for it."
Finally, you caved, and you arched your back as you moaned, "Please, Gyu. Please fuck me."
A devilish yet satisfied grin settled across his face as he pulled away from you. "Good girl." He quickly said as his hands found their way to the waistband of his sweatpants. You glanced down, seeing the way his cock strained against the fabric. You wanted to reach out and feel him, but all you could do was lie there helplessly as he undressed himself. He lowered his pants further down his hips until he suddenly stopped.
"Do you have condoms?" He questioned, his lips pursing in thought.
You shook your head. "No. Why would I have them?" Realization slowly began to dawn on you. "You didn't for-"
"Fuck," Mingyu groaned while running his palms over his face. "I forgot."
Disappointment settled over you, but the lust you were feeling for him remained. You ran over various thoughts in your mind as you observed his conflicted expression.
Mingyu's arms dropped to his sides. "It's okay," he reassured. "We can do something else." He looked up at you, his previous lust-filled expression returning as he caressed your thighs. "Have you ever sat on anyone's face before?" He suggested.
The thought enticed you—the image of Mingyu between your thighs always made your stomach twist—but ultimately you knew you needed to feel him inside you.
"Just fuck me anyways." You blurted out. Mingyu's eyes nearly bulged out of his head.
"What?" He cried.
"I'm on the pill," you quickly explained. "You can just... pull out or whatever." Heat rushed to your cheeks; you had become so desperate for him.
You weren't sure what you were doing. Deep down, you knew it was a terrible idea, but you were being controlled by lust—the same lust and desire that made you tell him you wanted to kiss him a few nights ago.
Mingyu's lips were still parted in shock as he scanned your face. "Really?" He didn't see a single hint of hesitation on your visage.
"If that's what you want..." he trailed off. You saw a look of desire return to his eyes as he observed your bare body. Finally, he pushed his pants down his hips and leaned over you again.
His forearms rested on either side of your head, trapping you beneath him as he slipped his tongue into your mouth once again.
He reached down and grabbed hold of his hardened cock, guiding it through the folds of your pussy. Your jaw hung open and a deep moan escaped your throat at the pleasure. "You're gonna be the death of me, I swear." Mingyu mumbled into your ear in response to your moans.
He coated himself in your arousal as he continued to rub his cock against you, his tip nudging your clit and teasing you with the smallest bit of relief. He buried his face in your neck as he finally pushed himself into you.
A loud moan fell from his lips at the feeling. This was so much different from last time. It felt warm and soft and bare. Every sensation felt amplified; the stimulation was so intense.
"Holy shit," you gasped. You felt it too.
Mingyu's hips stuttered as he bottomed out inside you. "You feel so fucking good," he groaned. His words mixed with his hot breath against your throat made your entire body burn up. Mingyu slowly pulled himself out of you, and your back arched as his cock rubbed against your walls before he pushed into you again roughly.
Your chest rose and fell quickly with each short breath you took while Mingyu set his pace of his hips slapping against yours. Your back was still arched, and your hips lifted up uncontrollably to meet his.
"F-fuck," you whined. Your arms tried to spread apart, but they were restricted by the belt again. There was a dull ache in your wrists, but it only added to the pleasurable mix of sensations you were feeling right now.
His hands were squeezing your waist tight, to the point where you thought there might be marks there later. He thrusted into you quickly, desperately trying to reach his high. You opened your eyes to watch his euphoric expression: his head was tilted back, his lips parted, and eyes fluttered shut.
He let out a particularly loud moan and his eyes met yours. A small smile found its way to his lips before his eyes grazed down until they reached your chest. He watched the way your breasts bounced with each movement, and the sight nearly made his eyes roll back into his head.
"You gonna come?" He choked out as he saw the pleasure on your face. You moaned in response, unable to speak. He leaned over you and wrapped his hand around your throat. He stopped for a moment, before roughly pushing into you, his hips slapping against yours.
Finally, he brought his hand down to your clit, rubbing it in tight circles as he continued to thrust into you. The knot in your stomach burned and tightened. You clenched around him, which caused him to choke out a moan.
The pressure in your stomach reached its breaking point. Your body was washed over with a feeling of euphoria as your thighs shook uncontrollably. You could barely hear yourself when you let out a loud cry.
Your moans, the euphoric look on your face, and the feeling of you clenching around him all led to the snap of pleasure in Mingyu's core. He gasped as he struggled to pull himself out of you. "Fuck, I'm coming."
Hot ropes of cum painted across your stomach. Mingyu's chest rose and fell with his pants and moans as he watched the substance cover your body.
"Fuck," he whispered in awe once his orgasm faded away and he admired the mess he left on you.
Just as you were trying to catch your breath and relax your arms, they were stopped by the belt again. "Are you gonna take this off me now?" You asked.
Mingyu chuckled. "I guess so." He finally undid the loop and threw the belt to the floor. You sighed in relief. Mingyu quickly noticed the red marks on your wrists and caressed the irritated skin. "Oh, no. You could've told me it was hurting you." He frowned.
"No, it's fine. I-I liked it." You admitted sheepishly. Luckily, your cheeks were still red from before, so it hid the embarrassed flush of your skin. It was true, though. You never did these types of things before, and you certainly never thought pleasure and pain could go together, but you now that you had experienced it, you were enjoying it all too much.
Mingyu shook his head in disbelief, a smile spreading across his lips as he stared at you. You leaned forward, pressing your lips to his softly.
After a moment, Mingyu pushed you back slightly. "You, uh, probably don't wanna get that on your bed." He pointed to the cum on your stomach. You glanced down. You had almost forgotten it was there.
"Yeah, you're probably right." You laughed. Mingyu reached over for a tissue to wipe it off. The two of you cleaned up, and soon you were lying next to him on the bed again, with him back in his sweats and you with an oversized shirt on.
You faced each other, but your head was curled up against his chest, listening to the quiet sound of his heart beating beneath his ribs.
"You don't seem sad this time." He said. His chest vibrated beneath you as he spoke. You pulled away to look at him with your brows furrowed.
"What do you mean?"
"I don't know. All the other times we've done this you just seem sad after. But this time you don't." He noted.
You shrugged. "You seem different too. More cocky, I guess."
Mingyu pushed you playfully. "Shut up," he snickered.
"No, seriously!" You exclaimed with a laugh. "You were so awkward like a week ago and then today you pulled that stupid stunt in class!" You playfully smacked him back in the chest.
"Okay, yeah. You're right." Mingyu smiled, and then he sighed. "I guess I'm just... getting used to this."
The two of you sat in silence for a moment, both thinking of the same thing.
Mingyu rolled onto his back and stared up at the ceiling. "Which I really shouldn't be," he continued. You chewed on your lip as you pondered what to say.
"I'm breaking up with him."
Saying it out loud made realization hit you like a ton of bricks. But you weren't upset anymore. You would miss all those trips to the coffee shop and weekends in bed from over the past two years, but they had already come to an end the moment you packed up and moved away. At this point, he had become someone you used to know—someone you were holding on to when maybe you should have let go a long time ago.
Mingyu was quiet for a moment. "Wow," he finally spoke. "That's probably for the best. You didn't seem happy."
"Yeah..." you trailed off. An awkward silence started to settle, so you cleared your throat and quickly changed subjects. "So, I haven't heard much about this frat you're in."
Mingyu chuckled softly, turning towards you again. "What do you wanna know?" His hands idly reached for yours, fidgeting with and rubbing circles on the back of your hand.
You thought for a second. "Hmm, I guess... who are the other guys besides you, Cheol, Seungkwan, Seokmin, and bathroom guy?"
Mingyu let out a loud laugh. "Oh, God. Bathroom guy is Soonyoung. I swear, he's the smartest yet stupidest person you'll ever meet." He paused, his face contorted in thought. "Then there's Josh..."
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You slowly stirred awake, scrunching your face once you realized the light was still on and about to blind you the second you opened your eyes. You peeked open an eye, glancing around your room for the clock. It was almost 4 AM. You sighed, groggily trying to sit up and recollect what you were doing before you fell asleep, but an arm was weighing you down.
You glanced over your shoulder, and were taken back in surprise for a second when you saw Mingyu lying next to you. The two of you must have dozed off at some point without realizing, and now he was pressed up against you from behind with his arm draped over your waist. He was sleeping deeply, with his lips slightly parted and cheeks puffed out.
You peeled his arm off you slowly, careful not to wake him as you slipped out of bed and into the bathroom. You observed yourself in the fluorescent lighting. Thankfully, your hair wasn't too messy, but your makeup was still on and smudged around your eyes. Something about it almost made you feel hungover.
You spent a few minutes cleaning yourself up before staring at your reflection. If it wasn't already awkward enough that you and Mingyu accidentally fell asleep together, now he would see you bare-faced and groggy with sleep when he woke up. Sure, you two had sex a couple times, but somehow sleeping together was a thousand times more intimate.
You tiptoed out of the bathroom, slowly shutting the door so it didn't make any noise. You lay back down in bed stiffly, pressing yourself right against the edge to avoid Mingyu's grasp.
Just as you finished turning off the light and settling back into bed, Mingyu's arm reached forward and rested across your waist again.
"What time is it?" He muttered, his voice raspy with sleep. You jumped at the sudden noise.
"Oh, um, it's 4:02." You answered.
Mingyu pushed himself up onto his forearm and rubbed his eyes. "Like, in the morning?" He asked. You told him yes and his eyes widened. "Woah, sorry. I didn't mean to fall asleep." He yawned.
He fully sat up now, running his hands through his messy hair. He turned to you, just barely able to see you in the dark. "I can go, if you want."
Oh, God. Even though this situation was an awkward mess, there was no way you could make him go home now.
"I'm not kicking you out in the middle of the night. What kind of terrible person do you think I am?" You responded, to which Mingyu laughed under his breath. "It's only a few more hours."
"Okay," Mingyu said as he lay on his back again. He rolled onto his side, his back towards you. You sat in silence before Mingyu added, "Thanks for not kicking me out."
You chuckled quietly, allowing your eyes to flutter shut and waiting for sleep to overtake you again.
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The next time you woke up, sunlight shone in your eyes. With your eyes squinted shut, you rolled over, expecting to bump into Mingyu, but were greeted with empty sheets instead.
Your eyes shot open as you felt around the bed and realized that Mingyu was nowhere to be found. You couldn't help feeling disappointed. Even though you were dreading having to face him in the morning, the fact that he left without saying a word stung.
Suddenly, the bathroom door swung open. "Oh, you're awake," a low voice called. Mingyu stood in the doorway, still shirtless and his hair a little tousled.
You smiled. "I thought you left."
"Nope, still here," he replied. He sat on the edge of the bed and gazed at you. His dark eyes looked like they held a certain warmth in them. "I've never seen someone look so nice after waking up," he said.
Your face burned up instantly. "Stop," you cried sheepishly, burying your face in your hands. You didn't even want to imagine what you looked like right now.
Mingyu grabbed your wrists and pulled them away from your face. "No, really!" He exclaimed while you wrestled back with him. "Your hair isn't even messy and your skin looks so clear," he said in between laughs.
"What are you trying to do, Mingyu?" You cried.
"Just take the compliment and say thanks!" He responded.
You stopped fighting back, letting him hold your wrists while you stared at him with a pout. "Fine," you grumbled. "Thank you."
A satisfied grin settled across his lips, and suddenly you noticed how close he was to you. "You're welcome," he said, his face only a few inches from yours.
You watched as his eyes dragged down to your lips and your breath nearly caught in your throat. He inched forward until his lips met yours. The kiss was soft and slow, until he pushed you back against the bed and pinned your wrists by the side of your head. He slipped his tongue past your lips and you moaned quietly against his mouth.
"You know what I said last night about you sitting on my face?" Mingyu pulled away to say, staring down at you with a mischievous glint in his eye.
You felt arousal growing between your legs as you nodded rapidly. Mingyu let go of your wrists to lie on his back instead. Your hands trembled a bit as you reached to pull your underwear down your thighs.
"Your phone keeps going off," Mingyu said.
"Huh?" You didn't even hear it because you were too focused on the knot you felt in your stomach. You recollected yourself and shook your head. "Just ignore it. It's probably Jisoo or something."
"Hurry up," he teased, lightly smacking your thigh. You were straddling his waist.
"I am! I'm just nervous." You replied, trying to ignore the heat that was rushing to your cheeks. "I don't wanna accidentally kill you."
Mingyu rolled his eyes. "Oh, shush. I wouldn't wanna die any other way." You hovered above his face, hesitating each time you tried to lower yourself. Finally, Mingyu grabbed onto your thighs and pulled you down. You instantly moaned at the feeling of his warm tongue flicking against your clit.
"H-holy shit," you moaned breathlessly. He held onto your thighs tightly, not allowing you to move. Your legs began to twitch at the stimulation and your hips rocked involuntarily.
Mingyu pulled away, and you thought for a second that he was trying to tease you before he groaned: "Oh, my god. Who keeps calling you?" He shoved his hand under your pillow and pulled out your phone, squinting at the screen as he read.
"Who's Wonwoo?"
Your heart dropped right into the pit of your stomach. It felt like someone had punched you in the gut and you were unable to catch your breath.
"Are you kidding?" You cried. Mingyu had never seen your eyes so wide before. He turned the phone around to show you. Sure enough, Wonwoo's name was on the screen.
"Is that your boyfrie-" he started, but you interrupted by jerking the phone out of his hand.
"Don't say anything," you ordered. You hit answer and brought the phone up to your ear with a shaky hand.
"Hey," you said, trying to conceal the quiver in your voice.
"Hey," Wonwoo replied. Hearing his voice again made your throat tighten.
"I'm on campus. Can we please talk?"
171 notes · View notes
ckbookish · 4 years ago
Text
BATMAN BINGO MASTER POST 2020
1 "I thought you were dead.": I Still See Your Ghost 
Today was just not Dick's day. First he overslept his alarm and was late to work. Amy had been less than impressed at his tardiness... Then He had bungled what should have been an easy take town... But the straw that broke the camel's back was Tim. Dick had forgotten to call Tim. 
2 Friendly fire: Fratricide 
Jason was pissed. No, Jason was enraged. Yeah, he was enraged at the whole mess his family-- if that’s even what they were to each other anymore-- had gotten him in. It was meant to be a simple night. Break in. Torch the drugs. Maybe shoot a couple of people and go home. But no, Batman heard about his plans and decided that arson was too extreme. “Someone could get hurt.” Well someone had gotten hurt, a lot of someones. 
3 Hypothermia: Weekend Commute 
Dick Grayson makes his way home during the first snow fall of the year, when he finds himself confused and cold, miles from home.
Chapter two Bruce's perspective.
4 Superman: Bringer of the Dawn
The Aftermath of when the Joker shoots Dick.
or
Where do you go when your family tells you to get out?
5 Shot: The Gratitude Trap
Bruce finds himself in the dark, a place he never thought he would be when it came to Clark Kent and Dick Grayson. Yet here he is digging for answers, because he is too scared to pick up the phone and call. 
6 Two-face: The Better Choice 
How do you reconcile the man who was once your friend with the monster he has become? Bruce reflects on how the man he once called his best friend changed. How could the man who helped him foster Dick, hold that baseball bat? 
7 Drowning: Omori’s Law
Deep in the sewer's under Gotham, Batman is trapped. There is no back up, no Robin. He is faced with the single truth that he tried to teach each of his partners... You have to save yourself. 
  8 Found Family: A Restoration from a Resilient Heart
Dick just wants to not be alone with the shadows in the house. Bruce doesn't realize he has lived with them for far to long, and maybe he doesn't have to anymore.
9 Adoption: The Irrefutable Truth
When he reached the reception, he found himself looking around a fairly empty room. There were a few call girls in the corner filling out forms, an older woman holding a dog, a kid that looked about twelve and a middle aged man who looked like he was ready to cry. He knew no one. Dick was about to turn around and head back to his desk when the on duty officer called out to him. Officer O’Conner was one of his fellow rookies, he had a thick accent. Dick thought he might be from Louisiana. “Grayson! Why didn’t you say your brother was coming to see you?” Dick looked at him with his mouth slightly open. There was no way he heard that right. “My what?” 
10 Bruises: Mr. Wayne
Tim is new to this. He's only been Robin for a little over six months. It was going well. But now he was going to be fired. Batman wouldn't want a partner who got caught at school with a black eye. Would he?
11 Bruce is dead: You Have One Saved Message 
Gotham gossip columns spread lies and smear good people's names. But yet Damian can't help but think maybe this mornings article was true.  That despite all his claims of being the true son of Bruce Wayne, he was in fact the only unwanted one.
12 CPR: Vital Signs 
Robin wakes to find him and Batman in an exploded factory. With Batman injured and the building burning around them, Dick struggles to get them both to safety.   
13 Dad:  Storge 
Bruce could have sworn his spirit had left him momentarily.  The sudden hollowness that filled him couldn’t be explained in any other way. 
 “Your dad must have his hands full with you.”  Elizabeth Ribbons leaned forward and patted Dick’s shoulder, as he reached for yet another slice of cheesecake from a passing waiter’s tray.  
Bruce fixed his eyes on the ice sculpture that hid him from view.  It suddenly seemed like the most interesting design in the world.  The soft lines of the ice on the otherwise insignificant over sized swan seemed like a lead shield...  Because Dick would read it easily in his expression. He wanted to be Dick’s dad.  But he wasn’t. 
14 Stealing the Batmobile: T-Minus Six Hours
Some days Tim is sure that he’s gonna be killed. Usually it’s some luck shot or near miss that made his life flash before his eyes. Not today though. Today he was positive Bruce was going to kill him. Yes, today was the day that Timothy Jackson Drake was going to be put down. He’s not sure that even Nightwing could save him. He was going to go down in history as the first sidekick to be murdered by their mentor. Because the Batmobile was definitely not where he’d parked it.
15 Wayne Enterprises: Amidst the Absence of Meaning 
Bruce is worried. He's running on less than three hours of sleep, and way too many cups of coffee. He had messed up. That much was obvious. The question was would Dick forgive him?
A gruesome night on patrol bleeds into Bruce's work day and now all he can wonder is if this is the thing that will push Dick over the edge? Had he finally seen to much pain?
16 Ransom: Sum of My Worth
The ring of the phone seemed to echo through the manor’s still too quiet long, winding halls, and everyone present collectively held their breath. Bruce lunged for the phone.   
17 Secret Injury: Hiding in Pain Sight
“What?” Dick asked sharper than he meant to. He was tired.
“Nothing.” Tim said with a small smirk. “Heavy is the head.”
Dick closed his eyes, glad that Tim couldn’t see them. He was so sick of this. Tim, Jason, Damian and Cass all didn’t think he was good enough, well Cass hadn’t said that, but Dick could read her. They didn’t think he was up to the job. Well they didn’t need to tell him that. He knew it.
18 Superboy: An Interlude in Breathing 
Tim looked out over the water in a daze. Bruce and Dick had gone somewhere below deck and he was alone. Well there were strangers on the ship mingling and talking excitedly--but Tim gave them no notice. Instead he watched the water lap up against the hull and crash down back to meet the dark, cold waters. They were far enough out that he could no longer see the shore. It was just endless expenses of sea and sky. Something tickled his neck and he started, only to realize he had been crying. It was only a tear slipping under his collar.
The days after the battle of Infinite Crisis
19 Betrayed: Smother
She took another drag of the cigarette, letting the smoke roll in her lungs for a long moment before allowing it hiss out between her teeth. The screams from the warehouse weren’t completely muffled by the distance, or the walls. Perhaps she was only imagining them. But then, sounds like that, she didn’t think she could dream up. She jumped after a particularly high pitched yelp. “Get a grip.” She dropped the cigarette and pulled out another. Her hand shook as she lit it. “It’s just some random kid. He’s not--” She bit back a sob. She didn’t deserve to cry. She had no right to tears, not when it was her fault.   
20 Crowbar: Breaklights
The mail fell to the ground and the paper smacked the tiles hard.  The sound in reality couldn’t have been all that loud, but it seemed to echo around the entryway.  Bruce didn’t look at the dropped bills and the invitation to a fundraiser for the new Gotham women’s shelter.  He was too fixated on the small stamp with the queen of England's head on it.  Wolverhampton.  
The large envelope was far heavier then it should have been.  Bruce could feel bile crawling up his throat.  
He had forgotten.
21 Deathstroke: Debts and Dues
There were some things that were never pleasant, getting caught in the snow without socks, losing your keys, and not being able to remember the name of a song. Having a gun pointed at your chest, Dick felt, qualified as extremely unpleasant. He stood stock still. The barrel of the gun was still hot, it burned slightly as it dug into his sternum. Even with his uniform he could still feel the heat left over from previous rounds fired. He didn’t flinch. He couldn’t flinch. “Move.” “You know I can’t.” Dick wondered if Slade had the guts to do it.   
22 Mission Gone Wrong: Murmur in the Quiet Hours
Superman? Clark froze. He knew that voice. But-- he had never heard it sounding so sad. Was that-- no. Clark dove for his phone, still on the counter from when he got home last night. The screen was black. Dead. Clark swore and dropped it. He was in his coat and shoes before it hit the counter top.   
23 Kidnapped:  Chum 
Dick trumped through the leaves, stopping his feet roughly. He relished the sound of the crunch beneath his shoes as he tread on the brown, dead leaves before him. He felt rather justified in his satisfaction. After all the world had taken so much from him, why wouldn’t he do his best to crush it in return. The woods were cool and as he went deeper into them they grew darker. The sun had long set, and the sky was quickly vanishing as the trees grew thicker. Wayne Manor was far behind him. He was never going back. He hated those pristine walls, those old floor boards. He hated the quiet. He hated the stuffy furniture and the rules and the vases and pictures. He hated his new guardian and that… that… Dick couldn’t remember what Alfred was called, but he hated it. The bag on his back felt heavy. It had everything Dick owned in it. Well and a toothbrush that Alfred had given him. But he didn’t think that was really stealing. 
24 Riddler: Seeking Silence on Shortwaves
Normally Dick would be happy to listen to Tim talk. In fact, Dick thought it was one of his favorite sounds in the world. Tim rarely allowed himself to be excited about things. Hearing him speak so freely and openly to Bruce and him about his plans was refreshing. Dick only wished it wouldn’t be at the cost of his life.
Batman hadn't always been so strict about talking unnecessarily over comms. When it was just two of them it hadn't mattered, their walkie talkie system had always worked. But now that Nightwing and Robin were in Gotham, it seems insane that they never realized: if only one person can talk over the radio at a time... how could they call for help?
25 Mr. Freeze: Glimpsing the Sun While Trapped in the Rime
He almost called Bruce between his fourth and fifth class. He pulled his phone out, leaning against his locker, and half dialed his number when a warm hand fell on his shoulder. “Hey.” Dick spun around and blinked back black spots as his body protested the sudden movement. A blaze of red hair filled his vision and Dick felt a small fire build in his chest. His face split into a wide smile.
After a run in with Mr. Freeze Dick finds himself feeling odd at school, but he can't go home, not when Barbara's asked him to drive her to Betty's party after school.
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collecting-stories · 4 years ago
Text
Cardigan - Rafe Cameron
Request: heyy for the ts anthology, can u do one for cardigan with rafe? love ur writing🤍 
TS Anthology Series | Outer Banks Masterlist
_ . ◦ ⭐︎:*.☾.*:⭐︎◦∙._
The summer you turned thirteen was the same summer your dad showed up again. Driving the same lemon of a car that he’d pulled out of the driveway in when you were six, he looked like he hadn’t aged. Or maybe you just didn’t remember him all that well because his face felt the same but you were different. When you missed your best friend’s birthday, a trip to the gymnastics gym on the mainland and a towering cake with fondant replicas of all her favorite things, she was rightly pissed.  
Thirteen felt monumental, like the movie the two of you had snuck onto your mom’s Verizon bill, and you had both made a pact that you would be there for each other no matter what. That promise included birthdays and, more seriously, dads who showed up after seven years of radio silence because they didn’t want to “miss anything else”. But you didn’t mention your dad because hers was so great and you felt a little like you were floating on an island and no one could understand you enough to reach it. But then you missed her birthday and she swore not to speak to you and that felt more crushing than the dad thing until her brother stepped in. Always the one playing referee in when you fought, Rafe was a few years older and, in your mind, a lot smarter.  
It felt pretty important that an older boy would make the time to talk to you, especially when he had to know that his sister was avoiding you at all costs. He’d just gotten his permit and, like any good brother, showed up in the car he wasn’t supposed to drive with a minor in the passenger seat, to take you around the island for the afternoon.  
“My mom said she thinks we’re gonna move.” You mentioned, less casually than you would’ve hoped. The windows in the truck were rolled down and you had your legs up, feet placed precariously on the window ledge. There was a particularly nasty bruise on your knee from falling off your skateboard three days ago and a few short hairs you’d missed shaving. You were relatively new to both shaving and skateboarding so there were bound to be mistakes, you just wished they were less visible.  
“Off the island?” Rafe asked, concern etched into his tone. You assumed the concern was for his sister, what would Sarah do if you moved? Who would put up with all her antics?
You shook your head, “to the cut.”
“Why?”
“She can’t afford the house on her own anymore and my dad has been lousy with child support.” You repeated back all the things she had said to you. Why she didn’t take him to court like the other kid in your grade with divorced parents was beyond you. Rose told her that it was the only way to ensure he paid what he was supposed to but she hadn’t been able to bring herself to hold him accountable.  
Can’t believe you’re gonna be a pogue.” He said it like it meant something worse than you moving to the mainland.
“It’s not forever. My grandma’s house is there, we’re gonna stay with her until we can get back up on our feet.” You shrugged, “at least my dad’ll stay away then.”
But you dad wasn’t the only one who kept their distance. It felt like the distinction over your mother’s life choices held a greater impact on your friends than they had let on. A year into pogue life and Rafe seemed to disappear almost completely. It had always been an odd kind of friendship in the first place but you’d thought that it could’ve withstood a change in address.  
Sarah kept in touch, unbothered by labels or mailing addresses. She’d been to your grandma’s a hundred times before you moved and she continued to go there to see you after. The two of you played in the backyard, doing tricks on the trampoline until gossiping about kids at school became more important than cartwheels. You’d lay there whispering as if someone might overhear, telling each other stories from the week that you were separated. Rafe always came to pick her up, staying in the car and honking the horn for her but never coming over to see you.  
It felt a little lonely even though you technically retained most of your friends.  
-
In tenth grade you got the role of Eponine in the teen camp production of Les Miserables that the local theatre was putting on. You were technically sharing the role with another girl your age but you couldn’t help being excited nonetheless. The boy playing Marius was in two of your classes, a senior who had lofty city dreams and a nice smile. He flirted almost constantly with you, brushing your hair back, telling you how pretty you were, inviting you out after practice. You told Sarah you were “pretty sure” you were on your way to having your first real boyfriend.  
But maybe the ominous casting of Eponine over your life should’ve been hint enough that things weren’t destined to work out that way. The boy who played Marius had an actual girlfriend, home from vacationing with her family in time to watch her boyfriend on stage, and you were supposed to accept that he was just “connecting to the character” when he was with you. Either way, your On My Own struck a different chord in you and after the show was over you didn’t join the other cast members in the lobby to greet people.  
“So when you get to New York...do I get to leak all those videos of you and Sarah doing your Genie in a Bottle routine?” Rafe asked, pulling a chair next to you at the makeup table. Yours was halfway off but you’d stopped scrubbing at your face to stare at yourself in the mirror. Self-pity was a powerful procrastinator.
“You’re supposed to be in the lobby.” You pointed out, ignoring his comment, “I look like a ghost raccoon that just climbed out of a dumpster.  
“Now there’s an analogy.” He laughed and picked up the cotton pads you had sitting on the counter, soaking one in micellar water and turning your head to face him.  
You bit your bottom lip as you tried to keep your composure. It’d been a while since you and Rafe had been alone and last time he was just your best friend’s cute older brother. Too old for you and way out of your league but you were fifteen now and seventeen didn’t feel so far away.  
But Sarah was your best friend and she would be mortified if she found out that you had even entertained the idea of her brother, let alone had serious thoughts about it.  
“I’m sorry,” you said as he swiped the cotton pad over your cheek.
“What for?”  
“I know we’re all supposed to go out tonight for dinner but I kinda just wanna go home.” You replied.  
“Sarah might’ve let it slip about-”
You groaned, “don’t even say his name.” You weren’t sure if it was embarrassment at having let yourself totally believe he liked you but hearing Rafe bring it up made you feel even worse.
“Hey, you’re so much better than that loser,” He insisted, “I’ll beat the crap outta him though, just say the word.”
-
It was that same year, just as school was ending, that you turned sixteen. A short stay in the cut at your grandma’s house had helped your mom get back on her feet. A new job, better than the one that let her go, afforded a moderately sized house back on Figure Eight and a birthday with all the friends that had left the two of you behind.  
Sixteen felt a little more important than thirteen had, especially because, for two whole weeks, time suspended and you were technically only a year younger than Rafe. You still hadn’t told Sarah that you liked her brother, though she did seem a little suspicious when the crush on your co-star dissipated almost overnight. The boys of the past had no hold over your growing infatuation with Rafe. Maybe it was foolish but you couldn’t help thinking that maybe it wasn’t.  
Especially not when he showed up at your house the same way he had when you were thirteen, though this time he had his actual license and not just a permit. He told you it was birthday drive around the island, that he was in charge of stalling you while Sarah set up a surprise party at your house.
“I don’t think you’re supposed to tell me that it’s a surprise.” You teased, sipping at the iced coffee that Rafe had brought you when he picked you up. You swished the ice around once before sipping again.  
“It’s a party either way.” Rafe replied, shrugging his shoulder.  
“So, we’re just driving around until she texts you?” You asked. Rafe turned into the Island Club, circling the parking lot once and then turning back around.  
“I’m yours until Sarah says otherwise.” He said, the words erupting butterflies in your stomach. You could practically feel yourself heat up thinking about what those words could mean if he wasn’t just your best friend’s brother.  
“Well...then do you wanna go to the beach?” You suggested, “Jaxon showed me this really cool spot on the south side that’s practically hidden.”
“Jaxon?” Rafe sounded judgmental when he said the other boy’s name, whether he meant to or not.  
“Yea, we’ve been on a couple dates. You know him, he took me to prom,” you supplied, thinking of the way Rafe had sulked on the staircase while you and Sarah had gotten your pictures taken on the front lawn of Tanney Hill. The last picture in the bunch, despite his sulkiness, was of you and Rafe. You’d asked and he had obliged, coming down onto the porch to take a picture with you before everyone left for the dance.  
It was your favorite picture, even more than the countless ones of you and Sarah or the few of you and Jaxon. He was just a place holder anyway, someone to take your mind off the thing you couldn’t have. Not that it was working, especially when you were driving around with Rafe at the moment.  
“I remember him.” Rafe replied, “so this special part of the beach?”
“It’s so pretty.” You confirmed, “Sarah and I went there a couple weeks ago but she only ever wants to sunbathe.”  
“Don’t say it like you’re surprised.” He said, pulling his car off to the side of the road when you told him to.  
You were out of the car first, letting the door fall shut behind you as you headed up the wooden ramp to the beach. The drop off at the top was a little steeper here than anywhere else, the beach mostly desolate. You stopped at the top of the walkway, turning back to wait for Rafe. He was standing at the bottom of the ramp staring up at you.  
“Are you coming up or what?” You called.  
“Yeah,” he nodded, walking up the path to you.  
“I know Sarah’s planning a big birthday for me, but I’d much rather have this...” you admitted, “just like, coming out to the beach with you...”  
“Oh yeah?” He asked, grinning down at you.  
“Don’t tell Sarah,” you joked, “she’ll be mad-”
“Why, cause I’m your favorite Cameron?”
Maybe it was being sixteen or maybe it was that you were feeling particularly bold, out here on the beach with just Rafe, no threat of prying eyes to interrupt you. Either way, you had been thinking about telling him for a while now and it felt like the time...even if getting rejected ran the risk of ruining your birthday.  
“I know I’m just Sarah’s best friend but...I really like you Rafe.” You said, “and I know it’s like a million to one that you like me back but I just felt like I would explode if I didn’t tell you.” You waited a beat for him to say something and when he didn’t you kept talking, “Sorry, I know this is so weird-”
“It’s not weird.” Rafe cut you off, “I’m just shocked that you seriously think I only see you as Sarah’s best friend.” His tone was teasing as he brushed a piece of hair behind your ear and cupped your cheek. “You’re so much more than that.”
-
It was Sarah who told you, days before your eighteenth birthday. She’d seen Rafe with someone else when her family took a weekend trip out to Chapel Hill to see a game. There was a girl there, hanging all over her brother. He swore she was just a friend, told Sarah not to tell you, but Sarah wasn’t dumb and she wouldn’t help her brother cover up an indiscretion. So she told you flat out that her brother was cheating on you.  
When Sarah first found out that you and Rafe were dating, she had been as mad as her thirteenth birthday. How could you go behind her back and date her brother? The anger dissipated slowly, over the course of the summer it became clear that were not going to leave her in the dust for Rafe. She wasn’t wholly supportive of the relationship but she was supportive of you and if Rafe was who you wanted to be with than she’d be happy for you.  
But if she had to choose, it would always be you over Rafe.  
“I didn’t want to tell you, I really thought about not saying anything but...you deserve to know.” It was the justification she used as your face fell, all the giddiness from planning your eighteenth birthday fading in the blink of an eye.  
“He cheated?” And it felt like a punch to the gut. “Are you sure?”
“He said she was just a friend but...I don’t hang on my friends like that.” Sarah remarked.  
You fiddled with the phone in your lap, Sarah’s comments turning over in your head. You could refute them, tell her that you’d just talked to him the night before and he told you how excited he was to see you, how much he loved you. He’d used the word love...that had to mean something right? You could call him, ask him straight away if he was actually cheating, but you suspected that he would only lie to you. And if he wasn’t cheating, if he did tell the truth, would you believe him? Sarah was your best friend and once she had planted the seeds of doubt in you, they seemed to flourish there.  
You didn’t say anything else about it to Sarah that night and when Rafe called to talk, like he always did, you pretended that everything was fine. But that could only last for so long. A week before your party, on the same special part of the beach that Rafe had first kissed you, things ended. Rafe had sworn to Sarah that the girl at school was just a friend but he couldn’t lie to you, and he didn’t try to either.  
“It was a mistake,” he insisted, as if it was the type of thing you could brush off.  
“But you still made it.” You replied.  
“I didn’t mean to.” Rafe didn’t have any good reasons for why he had cheated on, only that he had and that, since you now knew, he was apologetic. “I don’t even talk to that girl anymore. She meant nothing to me.”
“Obviously she meant more than we did.”  
Rafe had been it for you for a long time. He seemed so out of your league and you had thought a million times that you would’ve done anything for him. He was the ideal for everything that you wanted and for a while, when you had it, had him, it had felt like a dream. But now you were waking up to reality and it wasn’t a sunset on the beach.  
“I love you.” He said it like it was something you were neglecting to remember.  
“Not enough.”  
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poison--ivory · 4 years ago
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Can you do GoM + Kagami watching there someone play basketball in an official game?? Thank you!! 😊(I'm sorry if this alot😭🙏)
Sorry, for the tardiness. My dad went into the emergency room and my brother’s fiancé father has covid. So, we’re watching both of their kids while they’re at work. 
I hope you like it:)
Kuroko
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Was quite surprised that you asked him to come to your game next week. Well, it wasn’t that weird since he has seen other couples do this sort of thing
As he got there he managed to get pretty good seats. Nearly, squished by an older guy who didn’t see him and called a child a couple times by a few people who did see him
The game started and to say the least was a little taken back at how skilled you are
The first half ended in your team scoring the most points. Mostly, because you knew how to trick the other opponent with fake outs
Your team won with no problem and after the small celebration in the locker room with your team. You noticed your boyfriend was waiting outside in the hallway for you
Hugging you expressed your excitement with your boyfriend. His lips curled up into a warm smile, “You did really great out there. I’m so proud of you.”
Akashi
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You didn’t need to ask him to come to your game, because he had already planned ahead to come. Spent the week before the game giving you private training
As the game started he was confident that no matter what his training would be the down fall of the other team
And he was right, as the game drew on he noticed how easy throwing and passing the ball was for you now. Everything kind of was in slow motion each time you held the ball
By the time the second half started your team was up by nine points. Whenever you nearly missed a shot you swear you could feel eyes boring into the back of your head and a shiver goes up your spine
The ended with your school pulling the win right out the water. Your captain praised your performance and as you thanked them your boyfriend came around the corner. Akashi’s arms wrapped around your frame and pecked your lips
“You played well, my love.”
Kise
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He’s looking forward to seeing you play even invites Kasamatsu, his senior to the watch his s/o play
Kise had a dumb smile on his face the whole walk there. His senpai muttering the whole time about ‘dumb puppy lovesick people’
His smile soon disappeared as the game begun. To say the least. . . your team sucks and that was nicest answer he could think of
The passes weren’t correlated and the throws didn’t even make it anywhere near the net. Kise could tell you were at least trying to work as a team player
Within each quarter he could see the deterioration plastered on your features
After the lost you didn’t speak to anyone in the locker room didn’t even get mad when one of your teammates shoulder checked you. As you walked down the eerily quiet hall you spotted a certain blonde at end of the corridor
“Even if you didn’t win. . . I thought you did great.” Tears fell from your eyes as a hard chest pressed against your cheek
Midorima
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Midorima spent most of his time trying to give you good luck. He started his rituals with you as soon as both of you started going out
Buying you a special item for your horoscope sign right before the game and prepping you in the hallway with a five minute meditation from your horoscope page
The whistle sounded and Midorima sanctioned himself off to the side, away from everyone else. It was good spot to observe you play. Irritation soon came over as a certain black haired teen approached him
He talked his ear off for the first half he went on about how ‘he was such a loving boyfriend to watch his s/o play basketball’ and took all of his willpower to not throw him over the railing
By the second half his mood simmered down and the flow of the game moved in your teams favor
By the end your team won and you were greeted by a smirking green head, “See good luck was on your side tonight.” Moving his arms in welcoming position he smiled warmly, “Now come here so I can properly hug you.”
Aomine
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Don’t get him wrong he loves you with all his heart and when you came to him about your game this week, he told you he would come. However, he soon forgot the next day and was only reminded by Sakurai
He got their at the end of the third quarter and by the look of things your team was losing and badly
You appeared to be struggling. Sweat ran down your face and soaked the front of your shirt
He could see the grappling, conflict on your teams faces. But, as your eyes met his your demeanor changed and a smile broke out onto your face
You lost and your team was beyond pissed and like some people who get mad they hit stuff or yell. Well, one of the teammates decided to lift up the bench and shoved it at one the other team members
You left as a fight broke out and went off to find your boyfriend. Only to see him waiting outside the doors, “Sorry, (Y/n). I’ll be there next time and next time I’m there you’ll definitely win.” and a warm feeling soared throughout your chest
Murasakibara
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Murasakibara was fine with going to your game as long as he had his snacks. He didn’t want to risk his appetite ruining the game, he sought to buy a lot sweets from the convenience store beforehand
As the game started he slowly munch on the crunchy and chewy candy. Your team was doing pretty good whenever he looked at the court. He got distracted a couple time thinking on which treat he should eat next
Glancing back at the court he started to connect your basketball skills to a certain blue haired person
The quick passes and zero presence was quite impressive to say the least. You are a quite person in class, the teacher even marks you absent sometimes
The game soon ended with your team winning and your boyfriend with a grocery bag still full of candy
Your team celebrated and kind of forgot that you were still in the room, so you walked off calmly to look for the tall man
You were picked off the ground and spun around to come face to face with your boyfriend. A small kiss on the lips before he put you back down and handed you bag of Nerunerunerune candy, “Here’s your gift for doing so well (Y/n)-chin.”
Kagami
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Kagami had to be reminded like Aomine that you had a game that week. Riko lectured him forgetting something so important to you
He’s lucky enough that his team had reminded him the day of the game and not right when the game was starting. Otherwise he would facing a beating from Riko
The game started off smoothly and your team was up by ten points. However, the opposing team had some tricks up their sleeves and just like his match with Kirisaki Daiichi he caught whiff of foul play
The rival team scratched, pinched and even stepped on the other players. You in particular was being targeted and by the end of the third quarter your body was littered with bruises.
Your team lost and as the other team walked off the court you and the rest of your team stayed a little longer. Kagami could see the tears you held back and as you walk off they fell from your eyes
Kagami caught you in the hall and as his arms squeezed our framed a new round of salty tears slid down your cheeks, “(Y/n), you played fair and did your best that’s all that matters.” A meek ‘thank you left your lips, muffled by his tone chest
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fandom-puff · 5 years ago
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hi i have a request! imagine for tommy he picked you up at the bar so he doesn’t know you very well but you guys ~do the nasty~ and later he overhears from your one friend telling lizzie that you faked your orgasm and he hunts you down determined to make you cum for real
HI! thanks so much for this request- I adored writing it!
Word count: 3.3k
Warnings: SMUTSMUTSMUTSMUT also swearing bc... peaky blinders?
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It was the grand opening of the Shelbys’ new bar, and naturally, almost all of Small Heath was crammed into the main room. The whiskey and gin (from Shelby Company Limited, of course) was flowing, and the Swing Band was playing loudly, much to the joy of the inebriated men and women dancing. You hummed to yourself, touching up your lipstick before calling for another round for you and your girlfriends, Ada and Lizzie. “You want another drink, Linda? Maybe just stout?” you asked, getting your coin purse out. 
“Don’t bother yourself. I won’t succumb to that temptation. Just tonic water for me,” you rolled your eyes and soon received your drinks. “So you won’t touch gin, but you’ll happily play in the snow, eh?” Ada smirked, winking at you as she sipped her drink. You spluttered into your own. 
“Come on, ladies,” you said, sensing the tension growing between sisters-in-law. “Let’s dance before the band starts playing that American rubbish,” 
Together, you joined in with the dancing, giggling and cheering each other on. “C’mon Lizzie! Spin me around! I wanna be twirled,” you squealed, and the taller woman happily complied. You were new to the company, and she wanted to make you feel welcome before the boys scared you off. Soon you left the dancefloor, leaving the girls, to get another drink. You arrived at the bar, giggling and breathless, and ordered your favourite drink.
 “Miss YLN,” a low voice rumbled next to you as the bartender poured your drink. “I don’t believe we’ve properly met. Been keeping the books, eh? My brother John says you’ve very neat handwriting, and hardly cross any number out,” You nodded as your eyes met Thomas Shelby’s.
 “Oh… yes, Mr Shelby,” you murmured. “I try to make them neat so you lot don’t get muddled up,” you said. He nodded. The bartender put your drink in front of you and you reached for your purse. Tommy stopped you and gestured to the bartender that your drink ought to be on the house. 
He soon took you into the side room, kicking Finn and Isiah out. “My secretary, Lizzie, recommended you to me,” he said as you perched opposite him. He lit a cigarette, rubbing it along his lip before taking a drag. “And I’ve been trying to figure you out. Couldn’t find anything,”
“I didn’t grow up ‘round here. When my mum died I took her maiden name. Most of her lot were killed. The Somme, I think,”
“And your dad?” he asked, watching you as you drank.
 “The bastard died in France too, as far as I know. But I left home after Mum died. That was before the war,” 
An hour later, you were still talking, although the pair of you had drained a bottle of whiskey. You were giggly and warm when drunk, but Tommy only closed in more. This didn’t bother you in the slightest. You leaned forward and smirked. “So, Mr Shelby, do I meet your approval, eh?”You were so close to him, and your pupils were dilated with what could only be described as a mixture of inebriation and desire. 
“Yes. Yes, you do. C’mere,” he grunted, dragging you into his lap. He pressed his lips to yours in a bruising kiss, his hand already running up your thigh. You groaned and wriggled, sucking his lip into your mouth, grinding your heat onto his tenting trousers. He growled, unbuckling his belt and shoving his trousers down, and tearing your knickers down. He stood up, bending you over the table, before rutting into you animalistically. You whimpered, crying out, pushing back into him. His thrusts soon became sloppy, and you reached to stroke your pulsing clit- but he grabbed your hand as soon as he saw you moving, pinning you down and shouting out his release. It was a good job the band had started playing a popular song, otherwise, the whole of Birmingham would have heard you. 
You panted, expecting him to carry on thrusting to bring you over the edge. Instead, you heard the sound of a belt buckle and the door slamming shut.
 The experience sobered you up slightly and you straightened your dress, fixing your lipstick and hair before slipping out of the side room. You bumped into Lizzie and told her you were going home, as you were working in the morning. She nodded and took in your dishevelled (despite your best efforts) appearance. “Get some rest,” she said knowingly, giving you a wink.
 The next day, you arrived at work despite your headache. You lit a lamp, as it was still a little dark out, and started on the books, flicking through the notes scribbled by various members of the Shelby clan. You worked in peace for ten minutes before Lizzie and Pol came into the room, chatting. 
“There she is. How’s your head?” Lizzie grinned, sliding you some aspirin. You smiled gratefully and took the tablets.
 “Holy shit,” Pol commented, staring at the bruise on your throat. You blushed deeply and tugged your collar closed. You hated wearing this blouse buttoned all the way up, but needs must. 
“Wild night, eh?” Lizzie asked, getting her own paperwork sorted as Pol went to fix tea. 
“Not really,” You sighed, looking down. You wanted to ground to swallow you whole. 
“Oh, piss off. You came out of that side room five minutes after Tommy, looking like you’d been dragged through a hedge backwards, and you show up to work with a dirty great love bite on your throat,” she grinned. “I’m not judging you, by the way. If anything I’m impressed. He’s been a right prick lately,” 
“And he was a right prick last night,” you hissed. “Moody bastard, and a lousy fuck as well. Didn’t even finish me off, I had to fake it in the end,” you glared down at your paperwork. Lizzie chuckled and rubbed your shoulder gently. Polly came back into the room with the cups and teapot, pouring for you all.
 “So who’s the man? Boyfriend we haven’t heard of?” She asked, smirking. 
“It was Tommy, Pol,” Lizzie explained. You kept your eyes down. “Apparently he’s a lousy fuck. Our poor YN was treated worse than the back alley whores by the sounds of it,” 
Prolly frowned and set your tea in front of you. “Wouldn’t think a lousy fuck would leave that mark,” she said slyly. “Use a cold spoon and some powder when you get home,” she advised. 
“And then tonight, go dancing and get a man who’ll treat you right, eh?” Said Lizzie. “You deserve better than someone rutting against you like a dog,”
The two women had cheered you up significantly and you smiled weakly until Arthur’s loud voice cut across your conversation.
 “Rutting like a dog? Was that what you and Tommy were up to last night?” He grinned, having overheard,  and you flushed angrily. 
“Hey, no need to be embarrassed, YN, you are a pretty little thing-” he said, his smile dropping when he saw that his banter wasn’t making you laugh like normal.
 “No. I’m not embarrassed. If anything, I’d be embarrassed for your brother. Who would’ve thought Thomas Shelby didn’t know his way around a woman, let alone how to properly please her!” You turned around. “Pol, I’m going home. My head is banging and I need to concentrate on these books. Arthur’s done all the adding up wrong. Dock my pay if need be,” You took the heavy leather-bound book and tucked it under your arm, before storming out of the betting shop, right past Tommy without even noticing. 
The peace of your home was what you needed. You brewed yourself a pot of tea with the nice teabags you had picked up from the market, and settled yourself at your rickety old desk, going through the books and copying them up neatly, and more importantly, precisely. You even hummed to yourself, soon letting the stress of the previous night slowly fade away. 
That was until there was a sharp knock on your door. You sighed, getting up. There was another knock. “Alright! I’m coming. Rent’s not due for another week, though!” You called, going to take the door off the latch. 
There in the doorway, in all his glory, was your boss. His cap was drawn over his face and he blew out a breath of smoke. “YN. Can I come in?”
 You wanted nothing more than to slam the door in his face and lock it, put the chain on and drown him out with your rusty gramophone.  But-
“Fine. But put that cigarette out before you step over my threshold. The last tenant was a bad smoker and I’ve only just got the smell out of the cushions,” when the door shut, you turned around, crossing your arms. “What do you want, Mr Shelby?” 
“Mr Shelby, is it now?” He asked, smirking. “That’s no way to greet a guest, is it. Are you going to offer me a drink?”
 “No, I’m not. You don’t take me as one for cold tea with no milk,” you quipped. “What do you want?”
 He arched his brow, looking you up and down as if you were a fresh cut from the butcher. You stood a little straighter, determined not to look small. “What I want, YN, is to know what your little fuss was about earlier on,” he said lowly. 
You scoffed. “Oh please. You know exactly what it was about, and even if you didn’t, I’m sure the boys would’ve informed you,” you said coldly. “If you must know, I was pissed. Still am. Because I let you… have me. And I’m pissed because you treated me like a common whore, and I’m pissed because everyone knows and will think less of me,” you said, flushing, brow furrowed. 
“And what’s all this about being a lousy fuck, eh?” He asked, face like stone. 
“Oh you heard that part well enough, didn’t you?” You suppressed an annoyed laugh. “It’s true. You are a lousy fuck. D’you bend all your women over and hump them like a dog in heat or am I just special?” 
“YN…,” he said, voice low, standing up and walking to you.
 “You know, I’ve had better shags when I was a teenager. At least the lads I used to go out with had the decency to finish me off once their balls were empty!” You ranted, unaware of him stalking closer and closer, like a panther on the prowl. 
He pushed you against the wall, arms braced either side of your head. You gulped. Had you pushed him too far? You looked up at him through your lashes, and couldn’t help but lick your lips, your breath already becoming shallow. “Finish you off, eh? Is that what you want?” He asked lowly, leaning to growl in your ear, sending a shiver that crawled all over your skin and made your eyelashes flutter. 
You bit your lip and nodded. “Y-yes…” you whispered.
 “Yes, what?” 
“Yes please, Mr Shelby,”
 That was all he needed. He gripped your hips and pulled them tight against his, kissing you ferociously, his hands gripping, squeezing, stroking every inch of you he could reach. You moaned against his mouth and scrabbled at his heavy coat and jacket, pushing them to the floor. You began fumbling with his belt when he grabbed your wrists, holding the, above your head.
 “Ah Ah Ah,” he said roughly. “I intend to make up for last night. And believe me, YN, I’m feeling particularly generous tonight,” He hoisted you up by the thighs and held you against him, carrying you to your bedroom and kicking the door shut. He deposited you onto the bed, before looking down at you. “Dress. Off.” He demanded, and you all too eagerly complied, much to his satisfaction, casting it aside, quickly followed by your slip, leaving you in your knickers and bra. He chuckled darkly at your eagerness, and when you went to undo your garter and stockings, he halted your hands, shaking his head. You nodded obediently and watched as he kneeled down in front of you. You pressed your knees together, but he tutted and caressed your legs, from ankle to thigh. 
“Don’t be shy, YN,” he murmured.
 “No one’s ever…” you whispered, shifting your thighs together. He cocked his brow up and smirked. 
“No one’s ever what, pet?” He asked, pushing your thighs apart and making quick work of your stockings. “Tasted you? Not even all those boys who knew how to please you, eh?” 
You nodded and bit your lip, gasping at the new sensation of his hot breath skittering across your core as he pressed filthy, open-mouthed kisses against your heat. He nipped the inside of your thighs to get you to spread them further and inhale your musk, shuddering at the scent of your arousal.
 “You won’t even remember your own fucking name once I’m through with you, love,” he promised, stroking his finger lazily up the seam of your underwear, pressing it against your clit. You clenched your fists into the sheets, thighs already trembling. This did not go unnoticed, and Tommy chuckled darkly at your desperation. “So responsive,” he murmured, dragging your underwear down torturously slowly, before burying his face between your legs. You whimpered as you felt his tongue running up your slit, gathering your arousal before he swallowed with a groan, gripping your thighs tightly and holding them apart. He traced your sopping folds with the very point of his tongue, his nose occasionally bumping your swollen clit, but giving it nowhere near enough attention for your liking. 
“Tommy please!” You whimpered after at least ten minutes of him scrubbing the flat of his tongue against your heat, nipping at your thighs, and even pushing his tongue into you. He pulled away and looked up at you with raised eyebrows, your slick glistening obscenely on his chin.
 “Please, what, YN? Use your words,” he demanded.
 “Please, touch me!” You cried, shifting your hips, trying to get some friction to your needy clit.  
“Touch you where YN? I can’t help you if you don’t tell me,” he said smirking cockily, pinning your hips down to still you.
 “On my… my… here!” You whimpered, reaching a hand down to flick at your throbbing nub. “Please, Tommy, please!” 
He growled and knocked your hand away, instantly attaching his lips to it, sucking like a man starved and flicking his tongue under the hood. You cried out and tipped your head back, gripping whatever handful of hair you could, swearing like a sailor. “Oi. Watch. Eyes on me.” He commanded, although slightly muffled by your writhing hips. You whined softly but nodded, focusing on watching the gorgeous man devouring you. Your eyes fluttered when you felt a familiar tension building up in the pit of your belly, your clit beginning to throb against his tongue. Your breath came in sharp gasps, and you bucked your hips up, desperate to tip over the edge, so close already-
Then… nothing.
 You groaned, glaring down at the man before you, who still held all the power despite being on his knees. You whined trying to grab him back. “What the fuck? Please, I was so close!” You said, intending to sound angry, but actually sounding needy and desperate. He grinned. 
“I know,” Bastard. He repeated this routine several times, bringing you right up to the edge, but dragging you away at the last moment, until you were practically sobbing with need. When he had taken his fill of your nectar, he worshipped your breasts, sucking and nipping and kissing and lathing his tongue over your nipples until you were writhing, arching your back, convinced you would cum from this stimulation alone. 
“Please, Tommy!” You whined, fingers tangled in his cropped hair as he sucked a dark mark on your breast. “Please, Tommy, you’ve proved your point, please!” You sounded pathetic, begging like a whore, but to be quite frank, you could give a bigger fuck if you tried. “Just… please, Tommy, I need you. Need to feel you,” you whispered, stroking his jaw as he resurfaced, his piercing eyes trained on yours. “Need you to fill me up, claim me… I’m yours, Tom. Don’t you want to feel me cumming all over your cock?” 
Your words were meant to rile Tommy up, but they made you shift and whimper and buck despite yourself. “Good girl,” he whispered. “I’m very impressed with you. I’m going to fuck you, YN, and I’m going to do it properly,” You nodded eagerly and watched with glazed eyes as he discarded his waistcoat, shirt and trousers. You licked your lips as he dropped his underwear, groaning at the sight of his long, thick cock bouncing free, already leaking.
 All for you. 
You whimpered as Tommy crawled up the mattress towards you, already spreading your legs for him. “Please,” you whispered, reaching for him. He nodded, slowly pushing himself into you, bracing his elbows either side of your head. You cried out at the stretch of him, arching your back to press into his warm chest. Already, you were digging your nails into his back, and he grunted at the feeling of your walls clenching onto him for dear life.
 “Fucking hell,” he groaned into your neck, drawing back almost completely, before driving back into you with slow, measured movements, his forehead pressed to yours as he fucked you slowly, yet each thrust was ended with a sharp snap of his hips. You whined out, throbbing around him, trying to meet his thrusts with faster, needier ones of your own.
 “More, Tommy, more!” you cried out, scrabbling your nails down his back, clinging to his shoulder blades. You raised your legs to wrap them around his waist, angling your hips up more, eyes rolling at the deeper penetration gained by the new angle. “Please, faster,” you begged, writhing eagerly beneath him. “Please?” you whimpered, practically sobbing with need. 
Tommy grunted and nodded, holding you tight to him as he fucked you harder, faster, more relentlessly, growling into your ear, before suckling dark marks down your throat and to your collarbone. Moaning, he pistoned his hips into you, each thrust bumping delicious pressure onto your aching clit. It was too much. 
You moaned wantonly, arching your back and biting his shoulder. “Fuck Tommy, I’m gonna cum,” you whined, clinging to him, not wanting him to pull away before your release again.
 “Good girl,” he groaned. “Cum around my cock, love, that’s what you want. That’s what I want,” he grunted, his thrusts sloppy and harsh. With his permission, you yelped out, crying his name as you came, seeing white spots, even when you clenched your eyes shut. Feeling you clench around him like a vice, he shouted his release, spurting into you, filling you with his hot cum. 
Panting, he pulled out, and for a moment you worried he would buckle up his belt and leave you like a whore again, but the mattress dipped beside you as he lay down. He drew you into his side, holding you close. 
“You alright?” he murmured, kissing the top of your head. “You okay, love?” you nodded, resting your head on his chest, breathing deeply. 
“I-I… more than alright,” you murmured, causing him to chuckle. He lit a cigarette and grinned, rubbing your side as you drew the covers around you both.
 “So, still think I’m a lousy fuck, eh?” he smirked. You grinned and looked up, reaching to kiss him.
 “Not sure,” you said cheekily. “That might have been a fluke. You’ll have to repeat that display a few more times so I know you didn’t just get lucky,”
 “Oh, I got lucky all right,” he smirked. “Sleep. We’ll take the day off work tomorrow, and I’ll show you that wasn’t a fluke, eh?”
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