#otherwise its just a homophobic double standard

[lightningbreath]

A RANT ABOUT HAZBIN HOTEL

You know, this show did a terrible job of making me "sympathize" with the Sinners.

And you know why? Because they didn't give me any reason to think that they're redeeming themselves.

Angel never has to face the consequences of the actions that landed him in Hell, his only problem is Valentino and drugs.

At no point is Sir Pentius questioned about the fact that he's a weapons manufacturer who profits from wars, no, his only problem is that he behaved like a "cartoon super villain".

I don't mind Adam carrying out the Exterminations, in fact, I'm glad to know that, even if it's just for one day, Adam is giving the sinners the punishment they deserve for being the scum of humanity. Aside from the day of the Extermination, Hell doesn't feel like Hell, there are no demons to make the sinners be punished, they have complete freedom to do whatever they want and they actively choose to be sinners and enjoy it. If it weren't for Valentino, Angel seems to enjoy Hell, doing shit and getting away with it. When we get to episode 6, and Emily has the nerve to call the Sinners "innocent souls" I swear I've never wanted to kill a character as much as I did at that moment.

I just thought: I don't want the Sinners to go to Heaven, after all, what about the victims of these sinners who are in Heaven? And what's the message?

Is it "You can be a shitty person and make other people's lives hell while you're alive without any problem, because when you die, just go to the Hazbin Hotel, cry a little, say how poor you are a victim of circumstances, sing a song and boom, you can go to Heaven without problems." ?

Oh, but you don't believe in second chances? No! Because I see the double standard here: if a mobster, a warlord, a slave-owning casino owner and a terrorist can be put in a position of "poor things who just want a second chance" then what's to stop a racist, a homophobe, a mustache-twister or a xenophobe from dancing the same dance if they behave the same way as Angel or Sir P? "Oh, it's just that these things are unforgivable", "Oh, but not all sinners are"...

So... what's the difference between Charlie and Heaven? Heaven has set limits on who can enter its domains and Charlie wants to set limits on who can "seek redemption".... how would that make Charlie any better than the "evil Heaven"?

I just want to ask one question: if Valentino, one day, came crying to Charlie's feet seeking redemption, should she allow him to live under the same roof as Angel? Ah, what a silly question, if Charlie doesn't have a problem with Alastor having Nifty and Husk as slaves, clearly this case wouldn't be a problem.

And the funny thing is seeing people from this fandom say "the people in Heaven had time to heal, they can't refuse to welcome the fishermen, otherwise I'll consider them the worst in the world🤬"... Yes, of course. The victims of murder, torture, war, xenophobia, SA, (etc) all of them "have had time to heal" and that's why they should be forced to live with people on the same level as their attackers.

Wow, how easy it is to be a sinner in HH, you live in a ""Hell"" that doesn't punish you for absolutely anything and you're still treated like an injustice by the fandom, which will always look for a justification for all the shit these characters do.

Oh, but this is a "morally gray" show, there is no "black and white morality", of course not.

[tamelee]

[link]

I’m pretty sure this is the appropriate amount of rage that occurs after visiting most Naruto-related subreddits (or otherwise) which is why I avoid them. Usually I’d read through it for you but I’m not in the right headspace now so I’ll just address what you’ve sent if that’s okay?

I’ve always found the notion of “if one of them was a girl…” pretty interesting and well, pointless. I mean… the Naruto-fandom in its entirety suffers from people arguing with- and for double standards. No amount of logic, critical thinking or analyses of the narrative makes sense to someone that is reluctant to accept anything other than what they believe is the norm. Not even the story itself. Especially because it isn’t marketed as something that actively represents something other than the readers would expect. That’s why I don’t think having Naruto and Sasuke intentionally kiss in the story would do much to change these deep-rooted core-beliefs. All it will do is force these people to reason with themselves in a way they can rationalize it (one of those: “Men calling women porn addicted has GOT to be the funniest thing I've seen all day.”) and I’m pretty sure romance still wouldn’t be considered— “unless one of them was a girl”. 

And well, I have many thoughts on that which I’ll spare you, but regardless… stereotypes, heteronormativity, media representation, implicit biases, culture and societal norms also play a role in people’s thinking which makes it all the more complicated, doesn’t it? Sasuke would’ve easily been accepted as the love-interest otherwise— as quickly as in Chapter 3. 

I’ve read a lot of contemporary YA lately because I have a very unserious personal vendetta against the book-whoever girlies that confidently try to explain literature while praising the most god-awful books in existence, but if one thing is certain… it’s that a lot of those romantic stories apply the very same tropes as the ones you can find between Naruto and Sasuke. Many of them are used to support a romantic relationship (as does everything else), yet… the possibility for romance is already an assumption anyway. 

“It got me so pissed I swear I hate dudebros and straight female fans 😡” 

Eh. I would be a bit more specific here. I don’t agree with this generalization. I get what you mean and I understand your frustration because many are homophobic for sure and aren’t afraid to get loud about it unfortunately. I mean… I make SNS art and am not too quiet about it either… so I receive a lot of this bullshit through asks, DM’s, tags or comments… though despite not being a fan or willing to accept the bond as romantic, there are many, MANY who appreciate the bond between Naruto and Sasuke regardless and I personally think that deserves some credit for what it’s worth regardless of who they are. (Yes, even dudebro's because I know some personally who are like that.) But anyway, nothing serious, just wanted to quickly note that. 

… what do Geto and Gojo got to do with it? Don’t tell me it’s the whole dialogue thing ><

[dragonheartetk]

Double Standards

I'm tired. Heavens, I'm tired. Because the queer community, no matter how much I love it, always must find ways to harm its members.

Have you noticed how gay people are allowed to talk? They can say things about straight people that are derisive and rude. They can express distain and frustration and even hatred and disgust. And by and large, the queer community has no comment on this. Oh, it's harmless. Oh, it's fine. Oh, they're just reasonably venting. (And don't get me wrong, usually that's the case. Even if, as people very occasionally point out, there are straight queer people.)

Have you noticed how trans people are allowed to talk? They can share their frustration with cis people, both those in and out of the community. They can express their distaste, their dislike, their distain. And don't they (we) have the right? Considering all we go through at the hands of cis people? Everyone knows that we aren't talking about all cis people. Everyone knows that doesn't mean we hate gay people, even though most gay people are cis.

How you noticed how aspec people aren't allowed to talk?

Even in our own spaces. I've found that most aspec-only spaces are more harshly regulated on how we talk about allo people than other queer people are in completely public spaces. And this is a product of how we are treated. We're not allowed to vent about allos, else we're rude. We're not allowed to express distain, else we're disrespecting something important and valid! We're not allowed to feel dislike for allos, even intermittently, because that's unfair, and also don't you know that gay people are allo? Are you homophobic???

And if we say something flippant, some joke, some humorous anecdote from our own experience that could be read as negative towards allos, that is jumped on in an instant. But if an allo does something similar, and we call them out, we're reading too much into it, it's just a turn of phrase, it's not a big deal. And if we're calling out a queer person for doing it, we might just get accused of homophobia. Why are you shutting down queer voices? Queer people can talk about their relationships however they want! Yes, even if it's clearly framing romance as better and superior and more natural. Yes, even if it assumes that any significant amount of intimacy or love must be romantic. If you suggest otherwise, you're just as bad as those homophobic historians.

And heavens, I'm tired. Why does my voice matter more as a trans person than an ace person or an aro person? Why is it worse to harm me, a trans person, than me, an aspec person?

I'm tired, and I'm running out of patience for it. I've asked politely and cautiously for a long time, but that's coming to an end. My voice will get louder, more insistent, and less cautious. I will only walk on eggshells trying to protect allo egos for so long.

[jedijenkins]

me reading Dragonwatch finally: I'm really tired of hearing about Kendra's immortal horse boyfriend. Why can't Seth have a magical creature boyfriend?

Dragonwatch: has Calvin show up and declared his devotion to Seth

Me: PLEASE DONT BE EVIL AND PLEASE BE GAY

[stormblessed95]

Why do you think this fandom is obsessed with Jungkooks and Namjoons bond then totally disregard anything between jimin and Jungkook quicker than you can say “joonie”.

People seem to be obsessed with the “Namjoon” crush. Which to me felt like admiration, and the occasional comment about thighs. Where’s the crush everyone’s obsessed with. But jimin saying his favourite thing is waking up and seeing Jungkook is a “lol okay sure” moment.

I don't know what you want me to say, Anon. The jikook double standard in the fandom is extremely prevelant. I don't want to say it's homophobic.... but....

I would say that its similar to how my husband thinks its funny and cute when I say I've got a major girl crush on Gal Gadot or that I am a little in love with Yoongi. Its harmless. Its a crush of admiration. "Do I want you, do I want to be you, do I just like everything you do.... I don't even know anymore but I'm obsessed"

I mean... can you blame me? I love her.

But if I EVER pulled any of the shit Jikook do together with my soulmate, best friend, sister by choice, second mother of my children.... I would probably end up divorced. And I kiss this woman on her head, cuddle up to her on the couch, we have sleepovers (yes as adults, back off) and are very close. We are also very platonic. She is the Tae to my Jimin, but with more boundaries, no lie LOL.

Jikook scares the fandom for some reason. I don't know if they insist on it being fanservice or brothery because otherwise its too real to be comfortable for them or what. But the only interactions that I see the fandom actively try to excuse and sweep under the rug to ignore are the ones between Jikook. Its easier to hype up and admit to and encourage even all the other interactions, all the other forms of love and bonds between the other members because its easier to not take as seriously. Its easier to find the uwu moments in the friendships. It's easier to admire the love and trust they have together when it doesn't also come with the tension and realness that Jikook do.

Its easier to go "awwww omfg he had a boy crush, he loves him so much. Gahhh they are so cute"

Its easier to go "omggg tae, I can't keep defending you when you have your hands all over them like that"

Its easier to go "omggg yoongi let's the members get away with anything, they are all sooooo close and so loving"

Its easier to go "Hobi was really going through it hahahahah" when he talks about how sexy Jimin was looking.

Its harder to excuse the real intent we can sometimes see and feel behind jikook interactions. Sooo it interferes with their deep down homophobia, or it interferes with their y/n fantasies or it interferes with how they want their biases to interact with each other instead of others. No matter what the reason, its toxic and not okay and starts to cross the boundaries of a fan/artist relationship. The double standard sucks, but it is what it is. It won't change how much Jikook do love each other in the end.

Enjoy all these "I feel like I'm majorly intruding what is the tension here... should I give you both a minute" vibes from these Jikook vlives over the years!

[dazaiapologism]

1: Hey so totally shoot me down if I’m misrepresenting what you’re saying but like I def have had tv shows I enjoyed where like. I recognize there are a bunch of shitty things the writers included but there are so many and the writings just so comically bad in the first place that it’s not even worth it for me to point out and critique everything about it even tho I recognize it cause where would I even begin.

2: And it is kind of an unfair double standard to hold some media to a higher bar than others. But like I have no hope that a show written by a bunch of mediocre white men (in my case) is going to be #woke or whatever, and I don’t go in expecting otherwise. Like I’m not going to be critiquing riverdale or some shit in the same way I would something like killing eve cause at some point the entire core of the show is so #problematic that it becomes pointless

nah i think you mostly get what i was saying! i would disagree specifically with the idea that by doing this you’re holding media to double standards, because you’re always going to see and recognize problematic aspects of what you’re watching. what changes is the productiveness of calling out and talking about it. like you said, its not as valuable to critique Known Bad Shit as it is things people are still processing and formulating opinions on. articulating criticism takes a non-zero amount of effort, even if you know in your heart that you’re right.

ok to pull a horrible example out of my ass lets talk about game of thrones and sarazanmai. because those are two things in my brain rn.

how much value is there in calling out and talking about the misogyny in the last game of thrones season is there? who has gotten through eight seasons of game of thrones believing it is not fucking bad, but will still read what you have to say and think “damn.. they might be right after all.” maybe im cynical but i feel like that is a very small population. 

if we talk about sarazanmai though - let’s take enta cuz he’s nice and controversial. i think its reasonable given what information we have to ask whether his portrayal is homophobic. people are still discussing it, its WORTH talking about because you might say something that changes how someone else understands it. (btw im withholding judgement until its over)

as always thank you for attending my long rambly ted talk its been a pleasure

[forgotten-goner]

welcome

about:

The Vessel

Fictive

It/its (or they + neos)

byi:

Paladin sub system (Snowdrift System)

I am not the player or Kris, please do not compare me to either of them.

I am fine with doubles interacting but please do not compare us to one another.

Please do not use he/she pronouns for me.

dni:

Please do not talk too heavily about the goners from undertale to me. References are fine but please do not focus on them.

Please do not focus too heavily on the vessel being discarded if we talk.

Please do not show me art of me harming Kris. It's incredibly upsetting.

Standard DNI criteria (homophobic, sexist, racist, antisemitic (including supporting antisemitic creators like p*wdiepie, J.K Rowling, or Kanye, supporting antisemitic conspiracy theories, and making WW2 jokes), fatphobic, etc.)

Transphobic (terf/swerf/radfem/gender critical, trumed, anti-neopronouns/anti-mogai, “nonbinary-skeptic”, super-straight/gay/lesbian/bi)

Homophobic/anti LGBT (including exclusionists and anti he/him lesbians and she/her gays.)

Proshipper

Pr-ana/th-nspo/ED blog (even if its “just for yourself”), any blog with a cw and gw listed, SH blog, otherwise anti recovery

Kink/nsfw/18+ blod or any type of gore blog, or if you frequently post either untagged or have either as your icon/header

D/DLG or otherwise s-xualized agere

(bodily) Under 15 (it makes us all uncomfortable since we are bodily 18)

Demonize stigmatized disorders (including using psycho/psychopath as an insult/synonym for villain, believing in/supporting “narcissistic abuse” or “bpd abuse,” using ableist slurs)

Say the r slur on your blog (even if you can reclaim it. the word is very triggering for us)

Post frequently about snowgrave/weird route/salt route or make frequent jokes about Berdly’s death (fictives are not included in this as long as its tagged)

Post frequently about underlust/any deltarune lust AU

Post frequently about theories/art of the vessel hurting/trapping Kris

[the-dark-k-night]

                                            ❣️⚔️ 𝐰𝐞𝐥𝐜𝐨𝐦𝐞 ⚔️❣️

About:

I am Kris, a fictive from the Snowdrift System. I use they/it pronouns and sign off with -⚔️

This is just a personal blog and will mostly contain reblogs with the occasional original post here and there.

BYF:

Please do not say anything bad about the vessel to me (don’t compare the vessel to the player either, the vessel and the player are not the same to us).

I will post about the vessel here and there, it will always be tagged as #vessel and with our fictive’s proxy (#🖇️) in case you need to block it.

Doubles can interact but please do not compare us or refer to me as another you/call us the same. Calling me a double is fine, but please don’t call me you, if that makes sense.

Please do not send us any hate towards Kris x Susie or Kris x Noelle as I am dating both our Susie fictive and our Noelle fictive. I understand being uncomfortable with either ship but please do not apply any hatred to our system. Fictives aren’t their sources, my relationships with my headmates may differ from how they were in source.

Please do not call me a boy. Do not refer to me with he/him pronouns and please do not send me anything of people calling Kris a boy or using he/him on them.

DNI:

Standard DNI criteria (homophobic, sexist, racist, antisemitic (including supporting antisemitic creators like p*wdiepie, J.K Rowling, or Kanye, supporting antisemitic conspiracy theories, and making WW2 jokes), fatphobic, etc.)

Transphobic (terf/swerf/radfem/gender critical, trumed, anti-neopronouns/anti-mogai, “nonbinary-skeptic”, super-straight/gay/lesbian/bi)

Homophobic/anti LGBT (including exclusionists and anti he/him lesbians and she/her gays.)

Proshipper

Anti-recovery (Pr-ana/th-nspo/ED blog (even if its “just for yourself”), any blog with a cw (current weight) and gw (goal weight) listed, SH blog)

Kink/nsfw/18+ blog or any type of gore blog, or if you frequently post either untagged or have either as your icon/header

D/DLG or otherwise s-xualized agere

(bodily) under 15

demonize stigmatized disorders (including using psycho/psychopath as an insult/synonym for villain, believing in/supporting “narcissistic abuse” or “bpd abuse,” using ableist slurs)

say the r slur on your blog (even if you can reclaim it. the word is very triggering for us)

include snowgrave/weird route/salt route in your name/icon/header or make frequent jokes about berdly’s death (fictives excluded from the jokes but please don’t mention them to us lol)

post frequently about underlust/any deltarune lust AU

[hereticalapothecary]

On Vetting Companions

VET YOUR SPIRIT COMPANIONS. 

I’m loud about this because I’m passionate. I’ve made mistakes and I’ve seen some really horrible mistakes. This post is meant to teach anyone who wants to have a spirit companion how to vet a spirit that enters your space and asks to be a companion. 

This goes doubly for anyone who conjures or helps adopt out spirits or has a spirit refuge.

So, a spirit companion is essentially a lifelong friend. And as with making any friend, human or otherwise, you want to make sure of a few things: is this friend using me? Does this friend respect my boundaries? Does this friend respect my other friends and my space? Does this friend know people who will get me into trouble or will hurt me? In welcoming this friend, would I wind up running with a “bad crowd”? Are we compatible as far as personalities go? These are all things you’d want to know about a friend, and it goes doubly so for spirit companions. You know your limits and what you’re willing to accept. These kinds of questions are just the beginning when it comes to vetting a spirit for companionship. 

Where to start?

When I started learning about spirit companionship, I had no idea about vetting. That’s how I basically ended up with some very young spirits as a few of my first companions and had to go back and ask them questions about where they came from. Thankfully, since I have an honesty policy among my companions, they were able to tell me about themselves without much worry about whether or not they were being trutful. 

However, if youre meeting a spirit for the first time and vetting them for companionship, you have to be careful. You can’t rely on wards or other spirits. While it is good to get help and second opinions, you have to do the footwork yourself. You need to be able to read their energy and tell the difference between thoughtform and spirit. (More on this later.) You cannot rely on drugs or truth serums to give you accurate information Would you ask your potential new friend to take some drugs in order for you to evaluate if you want to be friends with them? Then don’t do it to a spirit. Plus, you may or may not have made a good or effective truth serum. Some spirits may have a resistance to the kind of magic you used for it. Some may take it and still be able to trick you by telling half truths or dodging certain topics. It may be true for them but it may not be the answer that you’re actually needing from them. 

Don’t rely on others or tools to do the hard work of vetting. 

Have banishing tools handy. Some spirits are clever enough to slip through even the strongest of wards in order to wreak havoc. Hell, I’ve come across spirits and entities that are strong enough to almost shatter my wards. Don’t assume your wards are working. Be extra thorough. 

What to know about the spirit:

I have a form that I use to interview spirits who want to be companions. Start with a list of house rules. If they’re serious about following house rules, they’ll agree. Make it clear that you’re willing to ask them to leave if they don’t meet your qualifications and standards. And if they still stick around, make it clear that youre willing to banish them. You’re essentially going into an interview. Set the tone so they know that this is something important and serious. 

Start with their name, pronouns, and age. Some may give you a nickname. Make sure you get their actual, true name. Using nicknames for your companions is fine! (I’d encourage it, especially if you want to post about them.) But it’s incredibly important that you build trust by knowing their name, especially if you have to kick them out later.

Follow up by asking more questions. Read their energy while you do so. Are you seeing any red flags? Hesitancies? You’ll want to know where they come from and why theyre even interested in companionship. Not every spirit who passes through your area is a spirit who wants companionship. Make sure that they have a good reason for being a companion. Ask about their species, especially if it’s a species you’ve never encountered before. (You’ll want to follow up on that. Some spirits are willing to lie about their species in order to make you think they’re cool or special or that you’re cool or special.) Ask about their families. Do they come from a place where spirits of their species are primarily solitary, or is there a family group setup? Why would they want to leave that for companionship? 

Ask about their ideal family size. Some spirits are shy or need a little extra attention and require a small spirit family size. Others like having a lot of other spirits around. This is important to know because if your spirit family size changes, you’re going to need to make sure the rest of your family is comfortable. Ask if they want to be bound to a vessel. Not every spirit does. Some have trauma related to bindings. Do not bind a spirit without their enthusiastic consent. And if you dont feel experienced enough to bind, don’t. A painful binding is far, far worse, and I’ve seen spirits with scars from badly done bindings. 

Ask about their likes and dislikes! What kinds of magic are they good at, if any? Do they have any sort of dietary restrictions or special preferences? What is their overall personality like? Are they seeking a romantic relationship or just a familial bond? (This is very important! You can say no to a spirit who wants romantic or sexual relationships with you.)

Here’s the thing/ Some spirits will put on their “interview clothes” so to speak. They aren’t lying, but perhaps they’re just not talking about flaws or problems they might have because they want you to say yes to companionship. Ask about their weaknesses. Follow up on these questions! Ask them again later to see if they are consistent. 

Health Checkup

You’ll want to do a health checkup. Any major scars or injuries? Any mental health problems? Any disabilities? Do they need a prosthetic? Do they have any parasites or major energy blockages? Are they sickly or have a chronic illness? You will want to know everything you can about their health, because you may not be equipped to help take care of a spirit who has a need that you can’t meet. You may already deal with depression and maybe you don’t want a spirit who has their own PTSD or have their own headmates. (Yes, spirits can have their own headmates. Being multiple is not just a human thing.) 

Birth control

Astral birth control exists. Please use it. 

No seriously, sometimes companions will find mates or have a one night stand. Ask how they feel about birth control. You don’t want to adopt a spirit and then find out that they’ve mated and now you’re not only responsible for one spirit, but all of their kids as well. Spirit midwives exist. Go ask them for birth control so that any babies that happen can at least be planned. Letting companions reproduce without caution is just downright irresponsible and often leads to neglect. 

Refernces

So you and your potential companion have made it this far! Now go ask for references. Talk to their community, visit where they come from. Does your sparkle rainbow dragon actually have a species named that, or is it just a bunch of regular dragonsand this one lied to be more impressive? Did they glamour themselves to look shinier? Are they actually a secret homophobe and their community knows it? Or is their community kind of racist? It’s okay to say no to a companion because you don’t want a homophobic/transphobic/racist companion. You can offer to teach them to be better, but you also don’t have to take on that responsibility. Put your investigator hat on. Talk to others who know them well and get other opinions and character references. 

Do it all again

You’ll then want to go back and interview them again. Have they been in a health treatment? How are they doing now? How have their answers changed? You’ll want to go back through and check on things again to see if things are still okay. 

Thoughtform vs Spirit

Honestly, it’s fine if some of your companions are thoughtforms. You’ll want to vet a thoughtform as thoroughly as you do any other spirit. But if you arent sure, it’s highly recommended that you learn how to tell the difference between thoughtform and spirit. It’s a difficult form of energy reading, but it does get easier with practice. Check the energy ties of the spirit. Not all bindings are bad, and not all energy ties are bad. But double and triple check them. You’ll want to make sure that you’re not projecting or someone hasn’t projected a thoughtform onto an already existing spirit. (Trust me, I’ve seen that happen and it isn’t pretty. The spirit underneath had been neglected since the thoughtform was having its needs met instead and was barely alive. Once the bindings on the thoughtform were undone, the thoughtform itself ceased to exist. Seriously. Check for things like this.) Learn to tell the difference between thoughtform and spirit. Thoughtforms can be fun companions, you’ll just want to know that they are a thoughtform. 

Social interactions

See how this potential companion works with your other companions. Are they socially adept? Do they get along well with others? Are there spirit types that they don’t get along with, and for waht reason? Does the spirit have personal social goals? Make sure that this potential companion can fit in with you/your family. 

But that sounds so intense!

Yes. It is. And it should be. Vetting needs to take place for at least three months. AT LEAST. And you need to do it consistently. If you’re not willing to do it that consistently every time, then maybe you should rethink your motives and if spirit companionship is right for you. You HAVE to be this thorough every time with every spirit who wants companionship. And frankly, this is the bare minimum. If you want to adopt from a spirit shop, check how long they vet their spirits. Honestly to me it’s almost a warning sign if lots of spirits are posted and adopted out quickly. Do they give you just a sentence or two about the spirit, or are there paragraphs of information about who this spirit is and where they come from and what they like? If the spirit you’ve adopted from a shop doesn’t have much more description than what’s already posted, the spirit hasn’t been vetted long enough and you’ll want to do this process yourself. Hell, vet the spirit shops themselves and see if you trust them. A good spirit shop is a lot more than just lots of “cool” or “new” spirits and a lot of popularity. Do they backtrack when they get criticism? Do they police their own behavior? Do they have an easily understood/accessible way to know their ethics? Do they vet on their own or do they rely on drugs or other spirits to vet potential companions? (If the answer is no to the previous question, then run. Stay away.)

If all this sounds like too much work for you, then take a step back. Review some of the basics of energy work. Practice your skills. Because seriously, a poorly vetted spirit can be downright dangerous if you’re not careful. Vetting is one of the most important aspects of spirit companionship, especially if you do shop work. 

[icedteaandoldlace]

WHAT A NIGHT.

So this woman called to place an order for delivery, and standard procedure ensued, me taking down her number and name and address, and she paid with a card, so I had to put in that information, too, then I gave her the standard send off, and that was that. So a while later, she calls back, having been informed that our wait time for deliveries was an hour tonight, and she asks if her order has left yet. I check the computer, see that her order has not yet been dispatched, and tell her so. She then asks if she can change it to carry out, and I say sure, but tell her I’m gonna double check to make sure her order hasn’t left while we were talking. So I go to the back where we keep the pending delivery orders, and her order is not back there. So I ask a manager if she knows whether or not it’s been sent out yet. She tells me it’s in the oven, because we ran out of pan crust, which the woman had ordered, and they had to make it a thin crust instead, because it’s all we have left. Now, when something like this happens, we’re supposed to call the customer back and tell them we can’t make their order the way they wanted it, and explain that they can either change the order or cancel it. But tonight was C R A Z Y busy on all fronts, and the workers in the kitchen were too busy trying to get everything made on time, so they couldn’t keep up with all the orders we were supposed to call back. And it’s the servers’ job to do the actual calling (but we can’t know who to call back if the cooks don’t tell us), and we had our hands full, too, so even if we had been told to call a bunch of orders back, some still would have slipped through the cracks. So I go back to the phone, explain the situation to the woman, and try to ask her if she still wants her now-thin-crust pizzas, or if she wants to have a discount worked out because her order is running late and not what she asked for, but she doesn’t let me get a word in edgewise, and she’s like, “You took down my phone number and my card number, I’ve already paid for this, why didn’t you call me?” So I explain that no one told me that there was anything wrong with her order, because I have no way of knowing which orders are problematic without being told by the cooks. And I’m trying to get her to tell me what she wants—like, does she want the pizzas as they are? Does she want to cancel? Does she want to cancel the pizzas but keep the wings? I need to know what to do, because she sounds like she’s about to hang up in a huff without telling me, and she’s already paid for her food, and I need to know if I need to have it refunded or what. And if she wants the wings but not the pizzas, I’m gonna have to get a manager to handle that, otherwise she’s gonna be overcharged. So I’m trying to figure out what she wants me to do, but she won’t shut up about how I should have called her (me personally, apparently, this is somehow all my fault), even though I’ve already explained that that was out of my hands, and I can’t set this right or even apologize on behalf of the kitchen because she won’t stop talking. Finally, she demands to speak to a manager, so I hand her over and she’s not my problem anymore.

So one of the managers takes the call, and I don’t know what all transpired in that phone call, and the manager kept an even tone the entire time, but I jumped when the conversation ended, because the manager slammed the phone back into its cradle, clearly letting out some feelings she couldn’t take out on the customer. Then she went back to the kitchen, looking very stressed.

An hour or two passes. I assume the order has been cancelled, until I hear one of my coworkers mention the woman’s name, and he says she’s about to come in, and she’s mad and she’s gonna want to speak to a manager as soon as she gets here. So she comes in, looking pissed as all hell, and has a chat with the manager. The customer has a tone, but the manager is sweet and apologetic and accommodating, and after a little while, the woman leaves. Not long after, she calls again, and I’m the one who answers. Apparently the manager had told her earlier how long it would take before the next batch of dough for the pan crust would be ready (why it takes so long to prepare and what that process is like, I have no clue, and I don’t ask, I just know it takes time), so rather than take the thin crust pizzas, the woman had opted for waiting until we could make her pizzas with pan crust like she wanted. So it’s all been sorted out now, but she’s still fuming, and she starts bitching to me about the whole matter, even though it’s already been handled. Whatever, I’ve dealt with people like this before, she’ll be out of my hair once she has her food, so I just take everything in stride. THEN, after complaining about the complications and saying we better make it right this time, she says, “And don’t let anybody spit in my pizza. I think that gay boy wants to, you better make sure he doesn’t.” First of all, he would never—none of my coworkers would; it’s illegal, we’d get fired, and none of us actually give a shit about rude customers. Yeah, this woman’s annoying as all get out, but none of us actually care enough to do anything about it besides give her want she wants and send her on her way. Secondly, the guy she’s referring to is a sweetheart and a great server, and has never crossed a line with customers before, and I can guarantee you he hadn’t done anything to make her think he was actually going to tamper with her order. Thirdly, I really don’t like this woman’s tone as she says the words “gay boy”, because I can tell exactly what she’s thinking when she says it.

“He won’t,” I say simply. Unlike with other customers who tell me to make sure someone does their job correctly, I don’t reassure her that I’ll look into it personally. Your delivery driver forgot the marinara for your breadsticks last time? No worries, I’ll write a little reminder in the special instructions. The kitchen made some kind of mistake with your last order and you want to make sure it doesn’t happen again? Sure I’ll speak with them directly instead of just counting on them to read their order screens like they’re supposed to, just to be safe. You think someone’s gonna spit in your food? He’s not. Dumbass. But of course, just like before, she doesn’t care what I’ve just told her, and she insists on continuing to complain. And THAT is when she made me angry. The rude, impossible to please customers I can handle, and if she had been just your run of the mill nightmare, things would have been fine, but it’s what she said that got me fired up. She kept going on about how she thought my coworker was going to spit in her pizza, and telling me to make sure he wasn’t allowed near it, because he “looked sickly” (yeah right), and “probably had AIDS”. And she bitches on a while, phrasing the same homophobic bullshit a few different ways, and then she tops off her nasty comments with another, “So you make sure he doesn’t spit in my pizza.”

I don’t even try to hide my attitude when I repeat, “He won’t.”

Again, she is not listening, as she’s far too in love with the sound if her own voice, and she says something else, I don’t remember what, and then abruptly hangs up, leaving me with smoke coming out of my ears, wishing I could have been the one to hang up first.

I can’t tell you how many times this woman called tonight, because some of her calls were taken by my coworkers, but I can tell you that the third and final time I took a call from her, I was DONE. First she interrupts me as I’m giving the standard company greeting—which, no big deal, people interrupt that all the time because it’s a mouthful—but she interrupted it and then identified herself, as the homophobic bitch I am already seething over, and she’s in full tirade mode, so I’m already Not In The Mood for this. God knows what she was upset about this time, I think she was still angry that her order had taken hours to make, even though it had ALREADY BEEN EXPLAINED THAT IT WOULD BE A FEW HOURS BEFORE THE PAN CRUST WAS PREPARED, GOD, WOMAN, JUST GO TO FUCKING DOMINOES! And she’s ranting so fast and incoherently that I can’t make head or tails what she wants me to do this time, but I manage to make out the word “bitch”, and I can tell it’s directed at me, even though—despite my tone in the last call, which I’m positive she didn’t even hear—I have been nothing but polite and helpful to her this entire time. I could have let that comment go; I mean, I really don’t give a damn what this woman calls me or thinks about me. But I’m already furious over what she said about my coworker, and I’ve just HAD IT with her already. So she angrily wraps up her tirade with a passive aggressive (mostly just aggressive) request to speak to a manager.

“Sure,” I say sourly, and in a blind rage, slam the phone into its cradle, in the same manner that my manager did earlier, intentionally without first pressing the button that would put her on hold. Fortunately, the phone rang immediately after I hung up, and I answered it, snapping quickly back into Super Polite Customer Service Mode for the innocent customer on the line. A few seconds later, the phone rang again, and I heard one of my coworkers take the call, and hand the crazy-ass woman over to a manager while I was still taking care of my other customer.

I don’t know how this story ends, but I’m sure the woman got her food, probably free, or discounted at least, and finally left us the fuck alone. Everyone else just laughed the experience off when it was over—just another irrational customer that everyone tried their best to satisfy—but I’m the one she had the nerve to spout her bigoted thoughts about my coworker to, so I’m still in a bit of a mood. Thank God she said it to me instead of to him, but that doesn’t make it any less uncalled for.

But after a physically and emotionally exhausting night like that, I almost cried tears of joy when I got home and found my mom’s meatloaf in the fridge. Few things brighten my mood up quite as fast as that does. And now that I’ve eaten and written all this down, I think I can finally settle down now. But good god, what a night that was!

[nyxelestia]

Solution: ease up on or stop writing the problematic stuff/ You still aren't pointing out what exactly you find problematic with sterek fic. But I assume it's basically "bad friend scott" which is funny, bc if you had actually read the majority of fics tagged with that, you'd see that it actually redeems scott from his problematic behavior in canon. This, and the fact that stereks create more works for every POC than canon, the fact that you cannot read past a tag, does not make them racist.

So, what, you think it’s reasonable for me to dictate what everyone should write? // Absolutely not. But as you seem to think it's reasonable for you to dictate what people shouldn't write I do think it's reasonable to think that you could at least afford fans concrete examples of unproblematic writing.

One of the examples you've given of why fandom is racist is its tendency to downplay the role of POC characters. I don't disagree with you on that. However, how would this translate to Sterek fic? Those fics will invariably focus on Stiles and Derek, since it's...well, a Sterek fic. Scott is still the eponymous Teen Wolf of the actual show. Are you saying that Sterek fic should have as its primary focus Scott, as to avoid being racist?

The same way I can see Western culture is racist, even though not everyone in it is. Communities are the sum of their parts, and more than the sum of their parts. // no, you didn't say "not every sterek is racist but the fandom as a whole (aka the majority of the fans) is racist". you said "MOST sterek fans aka the majority of sterek fans are not racist" which means "the sterek fandom as a whole is NOT racist, but there ARE of course, some racist jerks in the batch" like in almost every group.

No one in fandom is actively sitting down and setting out to erase Scott from his narrative because of his skin color. But, they continuously hold double-standards along racial lines, they continually justify abusive or dismissive treatment of certain characters that overwhelmingly are POC // which would mean they are still racist. actively or not, consciously or not. internalized racism is still racism. your logic just doesn't add up. u gotta rethink where u coming from.

And what makes you think I’m not engaging, too?I can be engaging and be angry. I can also walk and chew gum at the same time. It’s really not that hard. // i'm looking at this blog & reading your stuff. obviously i'm not talking about what u do in rl, since i don't know u. also it's not hard to be angry/sad af & still try to keep an open mind & be ready to talk? bullshit. it is. fucking. hard. dealing with rl issues like racism in rl. ur either trying to look though or you're a clueless troll.

Every other original post I write about Sterek fandom is about its problems - such as erasing Scott's scenes to make him look more selfish than he, or projecting his scenes and characterization onto white characters to make them look less selfish than they are. Problems like ignoring canon to build up an extremely problamtic fanon Scott to be able to write Stiles spurning him or redeeming him. Problems like ignoring Scott's character development by cutting him out of his own scenes, then claiming that he has no character development in the show and thus fandom gives him more than canon. Problems like erasing all the times white characters have hurt him while overplaying times he's hurt white characters. Problems like systemically blaming characters of color for failing to be perfect, omniscient, and omnipotent - and then praising white characters for not being completely horrible. Problems like expecting characters of color to subsume their mental health to the white characters, but not expecting white characters to do the same. Stuff like denigrating characters of color for being wary or resentful of people who hurt them, while praising white characters for attacking characters who they percieved as wronging them (whether or not they actually have).

Fans can and will create things beyond what I can imagine, and there are plenty of Sterek fics that can and do treat Scott reasonably well. If you stopped sending me a barrage of Asks and got an account to talk on posts like a reasonable person, I might even be able to get through all the Asks in my inbox to actually answer your request for examples, but instead, I'm spending time trying to head off this. And the more you send barrages of messages by ask, the less I assume your original request was in good faith and the more I assume you are attempting to set me up for failure.

I don't expect Scott to be at the center of Sterek fics. I think it says a lot about fandom in general, and Teen Wolf fandom in particular, that we so drastically pay so much more attention to white characters than characters of color, that the community who likes to play with other people's narratives would rather create a new one for white characters than engage in the one that already exists for the characters of color (like we do for white leading characters of other fandoms). But analyzing fandom as a whole is a separate issue from analying the problems of Sterek fandom in particular.

If you ask the overwhelming majority of people, they will say they are not racist and not sexist and not homophobic. Many of these same people will then turn around and victim-blame women for rapes, judge kids of color for behaving like their white peers, and ask gay couples which one is the man and which one is the woman. When I say no one is actively racist, I mean that the fans here aren't saying Scott deserves everything he gets because he's Latino or that Deaton must be evil because he is black. I think that everyone is expressing the subconscious, internalized attitudes and judgments and double standards they were raised with, and then not analyzing their own decisions and thus perpetuating that racism.

So no, actually, they are not racists, not for that. I'm not going to accuse someone of something that heinous at the individual level just because they lack the education to realize what they are doing or why it's harmful. I'll accuse the fandom, sure - because the fandom is the product of its fans. And thus, it's a product of people who do not set out to discriminate people based on skin color, but end up doing so anyway without realizing it because the racism has been internalized that deeply due to the culture they grew up in.

And I don't have to bring in my real life issues with racism for engagement and positive change. I point to my fanworks, my own meta on the show, and the fanworks I share. Funny thing is, even when I create positive content, I still get hate for it, and even have to warn other fans who worked with me to create positive content that they might get hate for it, too.

You accuse me of trolling? Which of us is constantly publishing fanworks and meta under her own name, and which of us is hiding behind anon? If you consider yourself open minded, then log in and reblog my posts directly. Otherwise, why should I assume you are anything but a troll, or take anything you are saying in good faith?

[spaps-society]

first of all, jokes arent harming anyone. legitimate acts of violence are. if you think otherwise youre probably just as fragile and easily offended as the straight people you accuse.

second, this isnt about people being oppressed, its about jokes on the internet. you need to understand that homophobic jokes can hurt gay people's feelings, not hurt them physically. suprisingly the same thing sometimes applies to straight people too. therefore, creating double standards in this category is pretty much pointless and doesnt help anyone. just follow the "if you cant take the heat dont go into the kitchen" rule instead.

finally "representation" is literally pointless outside of making people people with extremely low standards happy. its pretty much the same as media having pop culture and meme references in it.

also all cishets dont get everything handed to them, there are literal cishets who are homeless on the streets of nyc as we speak.

Wait, can I ask a genuine question

Idk you guys can hate me, send death threats to my inbox or whatever because you decide to take this the wrong way

But why is it okay for people to say “down with cis,” “cis people suck” “you’re cis scum” “ill hit (alternate belief) with a baseball bat :)” “your fave is trans, sorry I don’t make the rules”

N that’s labelled okay by Tumblr

But if those words are turned and used with some other thing (for example, “your fave is cis, sorry I don’t make the rules”), the person who turned it is a devil, should kill themselves, is this, is that, and has their inbox spammed with hate?

By no means should we all be up in arms against each other, but I really believe the saying that “either none of this is okay, or all of it is.” You shouldn’t have double standards and only snap and send death threats to people who say a character is cis “no matter what” but go and praise the person who says a character is trans “no matter what”

Do you get what I mean? I just hate the death threats. It’s really sad. Everyone should be able to believe a character is whatever they want them to be…