#otherwise it will be just posted as ‘Anons Tav’

[bg3smash-or-pass]

[bg-brainrot]

Unraveling Plan Meet Immeasurable Insecurity (Astarion x GN!Tav)

Featuring: Astarion x Rogue!Tav

Series: Fits into Love at First Knife, AO3 link here

Rating: Teen

Summary: Tav tries their damnedest to propose, only to be rebuffed by Astarion at every single turn.

Tags: Astarion POV - alternating w/Rogue!Tav, POV Second Person, Gender-Neutral Pronouns, Fluff, Spawn Astarion, Post-Canon, Marriage Proposal, Mild Hurt/Comfort, insecurities

A/N: based on a request from a kind anon on Tumblr– "Would you ever consider writing a one-shot where Tav tries to propose to Astarion but keeps failing multiple times. But Tav doesn’t give up and raises the stakes higher and higher. Astarion will completely remain oblivious because he still has some self esteem issues (why would anyone want to marry him?) and is really confused why Tav is acting nervous around him."

I ended up taking it in a slightly different direction (based on the man’s self esteem issues as you pointed out, anon). Set an undetermined amount of years post BG3, post saving Karlach from Zariel, post-Lae’zel finishing the githyanki uprising so the gang's all here. I hope the kind anon still enjoys it!

Word count: ~5.6k

Astarion first has an inkling that something is the matter when you sneak away from him.

Odd, he thinks, watching your retreating back. Usually they invite me along for this sort of skulking about.

But he understands, better than most, what a bit of privacy could afford someone who hasn’t had any in so long. So he watches you leave, pretending all the while that he hasn’t noticed a thing. Best not embarrass them, of course.

He brushes off the incident as an anomaly– after all, you continue to be your usual self upon your return. Neither of you speak of your absence, and you seem rather pleased with yourself, so he is pleased for you.

The next time he notices something is off he grows a tad more worried.

This time you don’t disappear, but you do spend a concerning amount of time staring at his hands, expression pensive.

“Darling,” he starts. He quickly tucks his hands under the Elfsong table that you both sit at and leans forward. “What are you doing?”

You blanch at the question– an uncharacteristic reaction to be sure. “Oh,” you sound startled, as if you’ve been caught doing something quite naughty. “Nothing at all. Just wondering if you’d done anything new with your nails? They look… nice.”

It’s a lie, that much is clear to Astarion. But it’s not typical that you lie so poorly. And why should you lie? No matter, you look flustered and gods does he love it when you look flustered– it happens so rarely that he feels the need to truly relish it. “Don’t they?” he asks, flourishing his hands in front of you now. “How did you know? I dipped them in an essence of ooze to thoroughly moisturize them.”

“Really?” Your bewilderment almost brings a laugh out of him.

“Gods no, my dear,” he says, reaching out from under the table and for your hands. “You seem quite out of sorts. Are you alright?”

“I’m fine,” you dismiss, staunchly avoiding eye contact with him.

Odd, he thinks again. Where is their usual daring now?

He’s forced to dismiss the thought as you flag down a waitress, ordering yourselves another bottle of wine.

Astarion becomes genuinely concerned when you return home late one night.

The two of you have grown comfortable together in your house, just on the outskirts of Baldur’s Gate, in a cozy corner of Rivington. The location allows you to continue your work with the guild, gives him plentiful access to any criminals that needed exsanguinating, and your former companions are never far.

It does mean that you will sometimes stay late in the city, working well into the sunlight hours– but you also know to send him a message on the days you stay out late. Otherwise your poor, beautiful vampire will waste away in worry.

“Where in the nine hells are they?” Astarion curses aloud on this particular dawning day. He’d tried sending a message to you, only to receive nothing back. He’d sent another to Shadowheart, again to silence. He considers trying someone less responsible like Karlach, when you finally burst through the front door.

“Oh! Astarion,” you say, surprise plain on your face. As if he wouldn’t be here, in your shared home no less, waiting for your arrival. “What are you still doing up?”

He watches you silently for a moment as you tuck something behind your back, straighten out uncomfortably. Then, with all of the annoyance he can muster, he rolls his eyes at you. “It’s lovely to see you too, my dear. It’s not as if I was worrying my gorgeous head off at the thought of you dead in some rank Baldurian gutter.”

“I’m sorry,” you say, shuffling around the room in a rather suspicious manner. “I lost track of time. I figured you would go to bed without me.”

Astarion can’t remember the last time he went to bed without at least knowing where you were. Even if he could, he suspects he really would rather not. “Darling, you know I need my warm-blooded lover by my side to enter my reverie. Besides, what could have possibly taken you so long?”

You hesitate, and something tugs at Astarion’s insides. He feels a sudden sense of fear, a dread that he may regret asking you this question. 

What if you’re upset at him, and this was your way to maintain space? What if you’ve finally, rationally taken a look at your situation and determined that no, you’d really rather not love a monster like himself? Or worse, what if you’d found someone else, someone who could bask in the daylight alongside you? Gods, the idea sends his undead heart plummeting.

Just as you’re about to open your mouth to answer, he rescinds his question, “Nevermind. I don’t want to know. I merely wanted to make sure you were alive. You’re looking as sprightly as ever, so I shall head to bed.”

He doesn’t wait for your response, heading to bed in a dramatic swirl and even more sensational thoughts. 

He’s right, he knows it to his core. You’ve found someone else, someone who can give you the life he never could. More than anything he wishes he had the courage to confront you, especially as all of your odd behavior clicks into place.

They snuck off to find a lover.

They were staring at my hands in the hopes that they were someone else’s.

They stayed out late to relish in another’s company.

They’re aloof because they’re leaving me and it’s all a matter of time.

It’s as plain as day. How could he have been so very, very blind?

__

You had concocted a nice, simple plan.

It involved a ring, a smattering of your closest friends, and a particularly prickly vampire. Ideally, the plan ended with the vampire agreeing to marry you.

Gods. The idea thrills you as much as it scares you: you are actually going to propose to Astarion.

After years together, you and Astarion are practically already married. This is merely a formality in your mind. But of course, for a man like Astarion, it's a formality that means only the utmost effort must be put in.

But, as it always goes in your life, your nice, simple fell apart.

The problem you're finding is that, after weeks of preparation and secretive planning, the man is being oddly distant. Distant and dismissive. It's almost as if he knows something is afoot, and he's utterly determined to make sure it doesn't happen.

Five times now he has thwarted your attempts at a proposal.

"Astarion," you had started the first time. "Would you like to take a walk in the park with me tonight?”

The look he’d given you was equal parts wary and panicked. So much so that you thought maybe you’d misspoken. But his response was measured enough. “No, thank you, darling. I’m afraid I’m quite spent today.” He gave you a yawn to illustrate his point, and you dropped the subject for the night.

You had had to send a message to Shadowheart to call off the trail of poisonous flowers that your friends were laying out for your stroll.

The next time, you had tried being a bit more casual in your attempt.

“Would you enjoy a day at the spa, Astarion?”

Again, he gave you a look that confused you. Frightened face, hackles raised– his only response was, “Why, darling, do I look that ghastly to you?”

“You know that’s not what I–”

“No matter,” he’d waved you off. “I am afraid I’m busy today.”

You’d sent a message to Karlach, telling her that the reservation of Baldur’s Gate’s spa was no longer needed.

The third time, you’d called in some more magical help.

“Astarion, what do you say to a moonlit picnic atop the roof of the Elfsong? We haven’t had one in a while.”

Appalled– utterly and truly aghast is the only way to describe the face he’d made. The words that followed didn't make you feel better either. “And why would we do that again after such a long while?”

Your stomach had roiled, worry settling in at his tone. “I thought it would be a chance to reminisce together.” Your tone stayed light, your smile just as friendly.

“It’s far too cold to bother with reminiscing,” he’d said, glowering at you. Looking at the hard set of his jaw, this is when you’d begun to worry that you’d done something to upset him.

“Is everything alright?” you’d asked, reaching out for his arm.

“It’s fine,” he’d replied, curtly, retreating from your grasp. “I just don’t want to be colder than I already am.”

You’d sent a message to Gale, instructing him to call off the magical skywriting over the Elfsong.

For your fourth attempt, you knew you needed someone with a slightly more forceful personality– and to perhaps lean a little less romantic.

“Astarion,” you’d begun, inflecting your tone with just the right amount of panic. “Lae’zel’s found a flock of mephits along the beach of Wyrm’s Crossing. She needs our help.”

“Mephits?” he’d asked, looking at you cautiously. “In Wyrm’s Crossing?”

“Yes,” you’d replied, nodding hurriedly. “We need to go now.”

He’d clicked his tongue at you and shaken his head. “As if Lae’zel couldn’t crush them all with a single swing. Seems to me like she’s grown lazy after all of her heroics.”

“Astarion,” you’d chided. “You know she will incredibly cross at us if she finds out you declined to help.”

“I’ll survive,” he’d said, returning to the book on his lap, hands turning paler than usual in a tense vice grip. “Probably.”

After, you’d sent a message to Lae’zel, instructing her to do as she pleased with the stash of fireworks on the beach.

The fifth time you’d grown genuinely, truly worried that something was wrong with Astarion because, by the gods, the man had refused to commit crime with you.

After so many failed attempts, you’d figured that you needed to go back to the roots of your relationship– to a simpler time when petty theft gave you some time alone together.

“I heard a rumor through the guild,” you’d said offhandedly over dinner. “A newly minted noble in the Upper City has quite the horde of wealth and very little security. What do you say that we pay them a visit, perhaps ‘relieve’ them of some of their wealth?”

Astarion had faltered, clearly tempted by your offer. But after nearly two weeks of avoiding going anywhere with you, he didn’t outright agree either. “And why would you need me for this particular job?”

The question had taken you aback. You’d never needed a reason to invite him along for crime of all things. It made you near certain that he knew what you were up to and that something about it was distasteful to him. Sweet hells, it made you nervous. “I, erm… well, I could use an extra pair of hands to carry it all, I suppose?”

“I could lend you my pack then,” he’d said, narrowing his eyes at you.

Why is he trying to avoid me? Have his feelings changed? you’d thought in fear. Aloud, you’d only doubled down. “Well, the company might be nice. And you know that your lockpicking is, somehow, better than mine.”

“I thought you said security was sparse,” he’d countered.

“Sparse doesn’t mean nonexistent.”

“Not much of a challenge then, is it?”

You had wanted to scream into the astral plane. Wanted to flip the table over his pretty pale face. Wanted to tell him, ‘You know what, I didn’t want to marry such a stubborn vampire anyway!’ – but you did none of those things. Because you love this man and, even when he’s being difficult, you do want to marry him.

So you had gritted your teeth and said, “Very well then. I shall borrow your pack.”

You’d sent a message to Wyll later to call off his father’s help with the upper city guards.

For your sixth attempt, you decide you first need to reconvene with your council– also known as your former companions. 

When you’d first met with them at the start of this whole ordeal, you’d snuck away from Astarion. It made you feel a bit guilty, sneaking around, hiding things from him, but the entire proposal was meant to be a fun surprise– one you are starting to suspect is a misguided effort. 

You profess as much aloud now that you’re meeting up with the five of them again, seated around the table in Jaheira’s kitchen. “Maybe there is no sixth attempt. Maybe I’ve overestimated the love between us.”

“Don’t say that,” Wyll says, placing a comforting hand on your shoulder, squeezing softly in reassurance. “Your love is strong. And together we will find a way to make this proposal work.”

You smile up at the man, one always so willing to believe in the power of a good love story. You’re almost sorry to be disappointing him– and the smut peddlers. Really, you’re sorry to be disappointing all of your friends. Each of your companions had been eager to help you in your endeavor, in their own ways, of course.

Gale had congratulated you prematurely at first, misunderstanding your Sending spell. But when you’d clarified, asked him for his help, he’d only been incredibly enthused, arriving the very next day, offering all manner of suggestions.

Karlach, for her part, was only ever excited, practically bouncing off the walls that two of her best mates may potentially tie the knot. At the low, low price of allowing her to be your person of honor, she was entirely at your disposal.

Lae’zel had been confused initially. In her mind, you were already committed to a life together. What was the purpose of this… proposal? Of marriage? But when you’d explained to her a bit, she’d been curious– and excited at the potential of catching Astarion off guard.

Shadowheart had seemed surprised when you’d asked. You weren’t already married? Alas, she’d gotten the plot of one of the many bawdy novels about you confused with real life. No matter, she was happy to help.

And, well, Wyll– when he returned from Avernus he’d been disappointed that you weren’t at the very least engaged yet. It was no shock or awe to him when you visited him for help. In fact, he had only given you a wry smile and said, “I knew you would be the one to cave.”

As for Jaheira, well, she was allowing you to use her house as a headquarters, but had proclaimed early, “Invite me to the wedding and I shall be there, but until then– well, this is for you lot to figure out.”

And gods were you having trouble figuring it out.

“I don’t know, Wyll. I’m worried Astarion may never revert back to normal at this rate,” you say, shaking your head.

“Was he ever normal?” Shadowheart asks with a soft snort. “Besides, he can be awfully dense at times, you may just need to ask him outright.”

“There is not a single realm in which Astarion says yes to a simple proposal,” you say, brows furrowing. “You know he’d want something flashy.”

Gale raises a finger sagely before countering, “Well, my friend, sometimes what we want and what we need are two different things. I’m inclined to agree that you may just need to pop the question.”

“What if…” you trail off, your worries from the past weeks bogging down your thoughts. Somehow, despite everything you’ve been through, this seems to be your toughest challenge yet. “Do you think he knows what I’m doing and is simply too afraid to reject me?” you ask the group, turning to each of them with pleading eyes. You’re honestly not sure you can take his rejection, especially after the last five rebuffs.

“Not a chance in the hells,” Karlach answers. “I think he’s being a right idiot, actually. And if he knew what was happening, he may even say yes before you can so much as get the question out.”

“Really?” Your mood lightens a bit, her harsh words slashing through the hardened doubts that have settled over your heart. 

“Is it any surprise to us that Astarion is incapable of seeing the truth before him?” Lae’zel says, rolling her eyes. “Such sharp skills, yet completely dull in the face of our efforts.”

“Again, we may just need a softer touch,” Shadowheart suggests, tilting her head at you.

You’re not sure what a softer touch might be, and, from the silence that follows, neither are any of your companions.

Your resident wizard is the first to break the silence. “I could always create a simulacra–”

“Gale,” Wyll interjects, politely. “I’m afraid I don’t think that’s much softer.”

“Right,” Gale says, leaning back in his seat.

Another long moment of silence and you’re truly starting to feel defeated. You hang your head a bit, thoughts filled with the image of a certain beautiful, pale elf’s mouth curling at you in distaste, forming a pronounced ‘no.’

“Soldier,” Karlach starts. You look up to see her smirking at you. “If he won’t willingly join you anywhere. I think we both know what you need to do.”

–

They are going to sink the final nail in the metaphorical coffin.

For nearly two weeks now, Astarion has successfully avoided his lover’s attempts to get together in a public space– likely what they saw was the best, most civil way to dispose of him. But, foolish as it is to cling to something like a withered love, Astarion doesn’t want this relationship to end.

Perhaps, if I can do this for long enough, they will change their mind, he thinks. Gods, that sounds pathetic, even for him.

Astarion was running out of excuses, and, worse yet, running out of willpower. What is the use in fighting the inevitable? he thinks, as he walks down the streets of Baldur’s Gate. It’s a moonlit night, and he’s on the prowl for a criminal to bite– he needs something, anything to distract him from his woes.

He turns the corner, on high alert.

Then again, a more selfish part of him counters. Why shouldn't you fight for your love? They were the first good thing to ever happen to you in this damned world.

That’s when he spots them– the-first-good-thing-to-ever-happen-to-him is hiding behind a bush directly before him, facing another alleyway. There are very few reasons that they would be out at this time of night, in the middle of this particular street of Baldur’s Gate. While they could be on a mission for the guild, he had last seen them at home, reading by the fire. It’s clear that they followed him, are waiting to ambush him.

Is this it? he thinks, eyes narrowing. His chest hurts, more than ought to be possible given his lack of beating heart. Is this how desperate they are to be rid of me? May as well go out with flair, I suppose…

Astarion sneaks forward, careful to remain outside of your field of view. He settles behind you in the darkness of the bush, watching you as you look out for him. Despite the ache in his heart, the clenching of his stomach, he can’t help but think of how lovely you look under the moonlight– of how lucky he has been to have had you.

If this truly is it, he thinks. I can’t wallow or cry. I shall hold my head high and consider myself fortunate to have met them. To have loved them. At least, he hopes he’s capable of such a performance. Because right now, quietly crouched next to you, he wants nothing more than to pull you into his arms, to beg you to reconsider.

But no. He refuses to look pathetic– not after the life he has lived.

So, after waiting with you for a few minutes, he leans forward into your personal space and asks, “Darling, what are you doing?”

Astarion is ready for your instincts to kick in, so when your knife is drawn in a flash and you’re lunging for him, he’s easily dodging backward, holding his hands up in peace. “Now, now darling, I thought we were past the knives at throats.”

“Astarion?” you ask, startled. “Sweet hells, you haven’t snuck up on me like that in years.”

“Yes, well,” he says, avoiding your eyes now. He’s surprised by how much gazing into them has weakened his composure already. “You also haven’t looked so utterly distracted by your own thoughts in years either.”

“What are you doing here?” you ask, ignoring his words. “I thought…”

Yes, dear, what did you think? he wants to ask, to catch you in the act with a cruel moment of revelation, to hurt you as much as you’re about to hurt him. But when he brings his eyes back to yours, he knows he can’t do that. While he’s still capable of maiming, killing, all manner of atrocities– he cannot hurt you. So he only says, “I was out hunting and I saw you hiding in a bush. What are you doing here?”

“I–” you falter, seemingly torn. Perhaps you’re having second thoughts. Perhaps this is his chance to keep you from breaking his cold, crumbling heart.

“Do you need assistance, dear?” he asks, ready and willing to show how much he would do for you. Anything, honestly, if it means you’ll stay by his side.

“Gods, I keep mucking this all up,” you mutter, head hanging in uncharacteristic defeat. “Maybe Shadowheart was right.”

What did that damned cleric do now? Is she the one you’re leaving him for? He’s about to make a reflexive, snide comment about her veritable barnyard of animals, but stops when he sees you sheath your blade. When you wipe a hand over your face in frustration.

Oh. You’re miserable. You wouldn’t look like this normally. You would never be this nervous, this stressed to see him– not unless his very presence had turned toxic. “I should go, shouldn’t I?” he asks, throat tight.

“No!” you say, reaching out a hand to keep him from leaving. Your grip is tight, painful in its panic, but he doesn’t complain. How could he when you look like this? 

More than anything, he wants this worry that lines your face to fade, the jittery movement of your hands to abate. So maybe it’s up to him to spark the beginning of the end… “Did you… have something you wanted to tell me?” he asks, swallowing down the fear that threatens to overwhelm him.

“I…” you gulp, bringing your second hand to join the first, loosening your grip. You raise your head, and he sees the tumult in your gaze. At the very least, you must care about him somewhat to stress yourself this much. “Astarion, please don’t be upset.”

How could he not? But, somehow, he manages a sad smile at you anyway. “As if I could ever be upset with you, my love.”

Then you drop to a knee in front of him.

– 

“Astarion,” you say, voice shaking a bit with nerves. “I had wanted this to be something lovely. Something meaningful. But… I guess you love ruining plans, don’t you?”

“What,” he breathes out, confusion plain on his face. His red eyes dart between yours, as if trying to process a sudden, large shift. You suppose it would be a shift in your relationship, even if you were practically married already. If he even decided to say yes.

You release his arm with one hand, reaching into your side pouch for the small square box that’s waiting for you. Fingers less dexterous than usual, you fumble over clutching it, opening it single handedly. You’re not used to looking this foolish, and you can feel a heat over your cheeks, an anxious shake to your movements.

But before too long the box is open, a shining platinum band resting inside.

It looks like everything you’d hoped for in the moment– its inlaid red rubies catch the moonlight just beautifully. You’d spent weeks agonizing, wondering if you had picked the right one, imagining what it might look like were it to be placed on his perfect pale finger. Here and now, with this man standing before you, you know it would look exquisite.

“Astarion,” you start again, courage returning to you with that knowledge, some of the words you’d prepared coming back to your mind. “These past years together have been the best years of my life. You’re my best friend, my dual blade, and I love you more than I can even say. I don’t know what our future holds, but I would consider myself lucky to walk towards it with you at my side. So…” You pull the ring from the box, holding it up to the man you love with a smile. “Would you, Astarion Ancunín, do me the honor of marrying me?”

Astarion Ancunín, despite years of quick quips and sultry words, seems to be frozen in place, unable to speak.

You’re used to these moments, when he needs to process, but you’re not used to them when you’re on one knee, waiting for a response. “Astarion?” you hazard.

“You’re…” he says, face slack, mouth barely moving. “You’re proposing to me?”

It’s not a no, but it’s certainly not the reaction you’d be hoping for. “Erm, yes. Is that… distasteful to you?” You can feel your hand recoil somewhat, your smile slip.

His expression remains blank, lips slightly agape as he continues to take in the scene before him. “You– you don’t have a new lover? You’re not planning to leave me?”

“What?” Now it’s your turn to be flabbergasted. “Astarion, what are you talking about?”

The sigh that leaves him then could collapse a small house. “Sweet hells,” he says, face and body relaxing. “I thought… I thought that you were acting odd, like– like–”

“Like I was trying to surprise you with the magnificent proposal you deserve?” you respond, suddenly understanding his behavior and growing a smidge annoyed. “Like I didn’t want to propose to you behind some damned bushes?”

Astarion looks around, as if just now realizing where you are, what is happening. “Yes, now that you mention it, like that.”

You want to be upset, but then the man above you laughs. It’s light, breathy, and utterly relieved. “You were really worried, weren’t you?”

“Oh my sweet love, I was about ready to jump into an Oubliette,” he says, shaking his head ruefully.

“You thought I would leave you, just like that?” you ask, brows furrowing in concern. Maybe you should have just proposed in your living room.

“I wouldn’t blame you,” he says, looking down at you with a tinge of sadness in his smile. “I doubt that this was the life you were looking for, darling. As a matter of fact, are you… sure about this?” He eyes the ring in your hand, all but forgotten in his confusion.

You proffer it again, raising your hand a bit higher this time. “The only life I’m looking for is the one with you in it, Astarion. I am quite sure.”

His scarlet eyes dart between yours questioningly, and you merely stare back, staunch in your words and intent. “Even if I’m a fool that forced your hand– left you kneeling in the dirt?”

“We’ve done worse things on dirt, Astarion,” you say, smiling widening at the memory of the first time he’d told you he loved you. “If you’d like me to get out of the dirt though, you could answer my question: Would you marry me?”

__

Once more, he looks between your eyes, this time his are wide, open– daring to believe that his darkest fears are just that. Fears. Ones that you would vanquish without a second thought. How could he have been so blind to that. Moisture pools at the corner of his eyes at the realization.

So he drops to his knees, reaching for your face with his hands. In a single movement, he’s pulled you toward him, captured your lips with his with an undeniable longing. A longing to hold you in his hands for as long as he is able. A longing to taste your lips on his, each and every day. A longing to never be without you, to be yours until death do you part.

You respond to his kiss in kind, lips pressing against him with your own pent up longing. He distantly hears the ring’s box fall to the floor, feels your hand brush past his ear to clutch his hair. You kiss him like he’s the answer to every question you’ve ever had and he feels a small tear run down his face as his eyes squeeze tightly shut.

Gods he would never tire of kissing you.

I ought to respond, he thinks in the back of his head, as he moves his lips against yours.

Is this not response enough? he argues, not wanting to break apart from you, for even a moment.

No, it wouldn’t do to have any confusion, not after the past two weeks.

So, before he can forget himself, he pulls back from you, far enough to look into your eyes. “That was a ‘yes’ in case that wasn’t evident.”

You laugh, short and breathless. “Oh good,” you say, leaning back further and bringing up the ring between you. “Then may I?”

Astarion removes his left hand from your face, holds it out to you with a large, gleeful smile. “You may.”

You slip the ring onto his finger. It fits well, matches his eyes, looks positively sumptuous– as always, you know him too well. “It’s stunning,” he says, angling it one way then another.

“I’m glad you like it,” you say, smiling at the sight. “And that you didn’t catch me when I tried to sneak it past you.”

The vampire laughs, shaking his head free of his own silly thoughts. “I smashed your plans into tiny little pieces, didn’t I?”

You don’t say yes, but the look on your face is evidence enough. “I’ll tell you all about what you missed out on later. For now, we should, erm, go get our friends.”

“Go get our friends?” he asks, wondering what in the hells they have to do with all of this.

“Yes,” you say, planting a kiss on his hand before moving to get up. “They’re all in place for another one of these ill fated plans.”

“Ah,” he says, following you up. Then, realizing what you’ve said, he looks at you with concern. “Just what were you in this bush for?”

To your credit, you look abashed. But your words do nothing to lessen his concern. “Seeing as you were refusing to come with me, well, anywhere, we had to pivot our strategy.”

“Darling,” he starts, his tone a deceptive sweetness. “Whatever does that mean?”

“It was Karlach’s plan,” you say, as a means of explanation.

“Oh good. I’m sure whatever it was was perfectly sane then.”

Scratching at the back of your neck, you finally admit the plan, “I was going to give them a signal when you passed. Gale was going to make an illusory double of me getting kidnapped by the rest of them in disguise, then hopefully you would take chase to go save me, they would lose you just as you got to the Elfsong where I would be waiting…”

Astarion looks at you sharply, his mouth a disapproving line. “Really?”

“In retrospect, I can see the flaws in the plan,” you say, palms open. “But in my defense, I was getting desperate. Either way, we ought to go get them. Karlach seemed just about ready to explode from hiding that long.”

“Fine,” he says reluctantly. “This is what we get for having such imbeciles for friends.”

“Funny,” you start, holding out a hand to him. “They said the same about you.”

He takes your hand with an exaggerated eye roll, but can’t help the smile that comes over his face at the feeling of your fingers twining with his. “It’s a shame you had to resort to them for help.”

“I really needed it. You know, I have killed more people than I can count, but you have been my most challenging mark by far,” you say, dramatically as you begin to walk down the alleyway.

“Worse than the giant, world-ending brain?”

“Oh yes.”

The two of you walk in silence for a few steps before Astarion feels compelled to say one last thing before reaching your friends. “Darling, I truly am sorry I ruined all of your plans, but I must ask: Please don’t try to surprise me like this again.”

The expression on your face deflates a little, and you say, “I thought you would like something grand?”

He brings your hand up to his lips for a soft, reassuring peck. “Normally, yes. But, I love you so very much. I’m afraid it clouds my usually impeccable judgment.”

You don’t comment on his judgment, instead focusing on his proclamation of love. “I love you too. So, hopefully, there isn’t a second proposal.”

“One can only hope,” Astarion says with a laugh. “And, if there is, perhaps it’s my turn to do the proposing?”

“Love, if you surprise me, I may kill you,” you say, plainly.

“A risk I’ve always been willing to take, my dear,” the man replies, pulling on your hand. “Now, come. I think I can spot Wyll’s peeking eye from here.”

Hand-in-hand, the two of you walk toward your waiting friends, ready to tell them the good news.

It wasn’t the grand proposal you had envisioned. Nor was it even a particularly romantic one. But, somehow, it was still perfect, still loving, still the beautiful new beginning to the rest of your lives together.

[reallyhatethiswebsite]

Wow!!!!!! Hey, hi, hello all you gorgeous Raphael fuckers! Soggy forehead kisses for each of you (they are soggy because my eyes are wet 🥹)

This is a big deal for me. I never thought 10 people would be interested in the stuff I wrote, let alone over 100! (I was going to do this if I reached 100 flat but I was too slow lol) You're helping me get through this awful week and honestly I'm just super grateful. It's been such a fun experience so far coming back into a fandom again. I haven't enjoyed writing like this since I was a teenager. Thank you 🫵 yeah you specifically. And thank you Mr Raphael Baldursgate for being such an inspiration.

SO ANYWAY I would like to celebrate this! If you've got prompts/requests you'd like me to write, please send 'em through (I'm a Raph/Tav goblin obviously but Haarlep is good too). (Also I see you anon, I'm working on yours rn ☺️) SFW and NSFW are both fine! Otherwise feel free to ignore this post, I just wanted to say thanks ❤️

[bitethedevil]

what annoys me the most about "canonically bad in bed", a list

- this is coming from hist LITERAL DILDO, like sorry he is not trying to pleasure his dildo, DO YOU PLEASE YOUR DILDO OR YOURSELF WHEN U GET OFF??? (totally understand haarlep is unhappy #freehaarlep but that is not the topic of this treatise)

- masturbation is always auto-erotic. e.g. almost all pornography directed at straight men shows men glorification of THEIR role in a sex situation, almost all erotica directed at straight women shows THEM being desired, it is always abt u and ur ego

- being "good" or "bad" in bed is a normative bullshit question I am frankly annoyed tav can even ask, because different people like different things, and this game is otherwise a lot better written about sex and gender stuff. also if you play haarlep's game, tav lies there like a starfish doing nothing at all, and haarlep likes it?? we should get rid of normative sexual evaluations of others smh

- there are people who like topping, people who like bottoming, frankly this is kinda toxic homophobic/misogynistic "haha, he was the one *getting* fucked all the time" implying a. the fuck-ee is dominated by the fuck-er and fucking is a violent act of dominance (untrue), and b. bottoms are somehow lesser than tops? so much wrong with this!!

- if I recall correctly haarlep just says raphael was bad in bed and always on bottom, and nothing about how long he lasts, and then the only way tav can use this knowledge to provoke raphael is by ASSUMING he doesn't last for very long, which is like wtf? why would u shame someone with some made-up toxic sex norms/assume they try to last when they masturbate? (even in case haarlep does say raphael cums too soon, shaming people for cumming too quick is such an incredibly mean thing, they can't control it)

- it is kinda sad (and toxic ngl) that raphael cares about haarlep so much and can't deny him anything and is so obsessed with this person who hates him and is dependent on him, giving strong toxic hetero relationship vibes. raphael, u can't have a relationship with someone who u control baby that is just not how it works lil guy, are u too scared u are not good enough for someone who will choose u of their own free will, are u scared they will leave u babygirl

to conclude we know absolutely nothing about raphael's sexual preferences, we just know haarlep is (rightfully) angry at him and being a slave, and raphael has ego issues which like come one we already knew that from day 1

I’m completely with you anon. The only thing I would like to comment on (and this is just my own interpretation) is the fact that Raphael can’t deny Haarlep anything. I don’t think that’s out of any fondness, I completely think its through Haarlep’s magic…which…just kind of makes it worse since Haarlep is there to spy on him for Mephistopheles. You saw how hard it was for Tav to deny him use of their body and mind. I’d imagine it works the same way with Raph, even though he’s a cambion. In my mind, the whole dynamic between Haarlep and Raph is fucked and Raphael is just trying to make the most out of a bad situation (I wrote a whole post on it a little while back, but it is of course just my own interpretation). Which just makes it even WORSE that Tav behaves the way they do about the whole thing. Like damn. I’d be mad as hell too.

I might write a standalone post on the weird discourse on Raphael’s sex-life at some point because it does somewhat fascinate me. Everyone is entitled to their own interpretation of any work, and that is something I hold sacred. What bothers me sometimes is the way that people talk about it. For example, the problematic way of portraying tops/bottoms and the shaming part that you also talked about in this ask.  

What bothers me even more is when people feel the need to drag that interpretation into fan-spaces to reduce the character to just those aspects as a “gotcha”. I don’t know if that is just me, but if there’s characters that I don’t like, I don’t even use their tags. I’ve written a couple of hate posts on the Emperor. They might show up under the tag just because Tumblr’s algorithm is weird, but I’ve never tagged them with the character’s name, just in case there are fans who use the tag and find that annoying.

Anyway…Thank you so much for the ask! I completely agree with you.

[taki-yaki]

If you’re still taking prompts: Tav was abducted from wildspace, maybe she was a crew member of a spelljammer, maybe she was a passenger or a merchant, either way she’s not from Faerun. She falls for Astarion, but after the brain is defeated she has to return to wildspace. Perhaps staying in Faerun drastically shortens her very long lifespan, and her realm isn’t safe for Astarion, but she vows to return every so often, like once a year (e.g. origin story of the Tanabata festival in Japan). They essentially become immortal star-crossed lovers.

Hi Anon, my inbox is always open, unless stated otherwise on my pinned post as the first thing you see.

I haven’t really read much on dnd spelljammer stuff so this finally got me around to reading it. For this Tav though, I’ll make them an astral elf as I found their culture to be interesting.

Astarion x Astral Elf Tav/Spell Jammer Headcanons

You are an Astral elf, known for exploring the wild space cosmos for over 150 years of your life, as a part of a crew of spell-jammers. Being one of the younger members of the crew, as a gifted aristocrat, able to channel the power of sunlight through your magic that courses through you.

Despite your bounty of skills at your disposal, the only weakness you face is leaving that plane seemed to shorten your lifespan making you bound to the astral plane for your entire lifetime. But after the mind flayers snatched you from your ship, the tadpole inside seemed to have gifted you a normal lifespan, allowing you to survive in the land of Toril.

But exploring the land of Faerûn seemed to be a short-lived dream, as your new goal was to rid yourself of the guest who has now taken up residence inside your head, wishing to transform you into a mindflayer.

The Githyanki in your group, who’ve you known to be hostile in most of your encounters in the astral high seas, seemed to have both united over a common hatred for the mind flayers who put you in this position in the first place.

However, you weren’t the only one who realisation that having these tadpoles isn’t for the best in the long term. Astarion, who you thought at a glance was a variant of astral elf himself, was a vampire. Now able to giddily enjoy the glow of the sun without having to feel as he describes “the wrath of biting ants all over your skin.”

Most of Faerûn’s customs are unfamiliar to you, from the ritual the priest makes you go through in the goblin camp to the gifting of wild floral plants to ones you care deeply for. 

Another struggle that you face is your lack of elvish language knowledge. Growing up, you only ever saw the need to learn common and celestial. 

Astarion would notice your lack of elven knowledge and try to teach you some basic phrases, although most of his classes would involve him trying to teach you flirty phrases to say under the pretence that it’s a common greeting.

Despite his teasing, you would attempt to return the favour by showing him simple celestial phrases, with the surprise that it doesn’t set his throat on fire after speaking in a holy tongue.

During the nights in the shadow-cursed lands, when the warmth of the sun can’t reach, you use some of your solar magic to replicate the feeling of warmth on his skin.

One of these nights on the road towards Baldur's Gate, the two of you are star gazing in silence, until you point up at the sky at two lone stars in the inky darkness above you. “In my culture, we believe our people get carried into the astral sea and turned into stars, I think those two are like us.”“Really, just some little lights in the sky?”, you turn to meet his gaze, “Well you have ‘star’ in your name right?”.

Astarion even suggests going through with the ritual, before having to stop him stating that even if you were made immortal, your soul is still bound to the astral realm and immortality would make you nothing but a husk of a person over time. But you make the promise to visit him one day every year, by opening a portal to the realm of Toril.

During the weeks leading up to fighting the brain, you gift him a small wrapped parcel. “Hmm? Darling, what’s this?” ”Something special, just open it” Looking back at him with a grin, upon peeling off the wrapping, revealed a smooth carved stone with an odd pattern on it. 

He looks back at you, slightly confused as if you’ve got mad “Darling, this is just a rock”, “Not just any rock silly”. You pull out an identical stone to the one he’s holding and quietly mutter some words into it, for the one in Astarions hand to parrot back what was just spoken.“It’s for when I have to go, we can still speak to each other through it, but for now I prefer to hear your voice from you.”

He lets out a soft sigh “You’re always thinking a few steps ahead my sweet, but obviously my voice sounds better coming from my throat than some rock” letting out a smile.

After the defeat of the netherbrain, the tadpole now destroyed, you feel the effects of your lifespan being shortened after being outside your realm for so long, knowing that it is your time to leave, Astarion runs to you carrying you into the safety of the shadows to avoid himself from burning up. “I’m sorry, I want to stay with you, but I have to go now ”

Astarion holds you as tight as he can, uttering the phrase “Ai armiel telere maenen hir.” "You hold my heart forever.” as many times as he can count before you climb onto the dragon, to return to the astral plane, home.

Every night after he would visit the surface from the Underdark at night, looking up into the stars, muttering into the sending stone, message after message, all in Elven tongue, “I love you so much” “I’ve been doing well with the other spawn” “I’m thinking of you every day my love”. He’d wait with bated breath to hear your response back in return.

However, when the day arrives when the two of you are reunited only for a day every year, you stay in each other's embrace, practically bound together, before having to return home to the astral plane.

[astarionposting]

Hi, so, um, this question is going to be really weird, but like, is there a way to join the exclusive club of people who reblog each other's hot OCs? Because I feel like I'm watching from the side bench but I want to participate too 😭 How do I find people who are interested in OCs? Anyway, I love yours, they all look super cool & hot

Hello anon!

I wouldn’t say it is exclusive, I mostly reblog my mutuals and any ocs that pop up on my “your tags” that I think look cool. I was worried no one would be interested in my ocs at all, so I tried not to share them too much at first, but then I said “fuck it” and just started to share them lol. Honestly, just start sharing them as much as you want! Do some cool edits of them, fill out those oc templates, and if you are good at writing, start doing those Tav/oc question games!

I try my best to look through my followers once in a while as well to see if any are fellow virtual photographers, oc makers or artists so I can kind of build more of a “community of mutuals I think are cool” and just reblog their stuff cause I like it :) so I guess if you start sharing your stuff, following and interacting with other oc creators as well and start building your “community of mutuals I think are cool”, you’ll start to get your stuff reblogged too! Also try to participate in those tag games! It helps people get to know more about your oc as well :) I usually tag a few people that I think won’t get annoyed at me mentioning them, but I technically am tagging ANYONE who sees the post and wants to do it! So if you see me share one, feel free to join in on it!

ALSO, for me personally, I like it when I see a pinned post showing what a blog is about, especially with links to featured tags. So like if you have some OCs, try to create a pinned post where you link their tags, so it’s easier for people to look through and find your content amongst any reblogs. Otherwise I find it difficult to find out what someone’s blog is about and might miss out on their content!

Hopefully this was helpful advice 😊 I also don’t mind people tagging me in anything they make and sharing, it helps me not miss it since tumblr’s algorithm can be pretty shitty 🙄🙄

[honest-moth-of-silver-grove]

I don't know if your still doing match ups but, if you are, I would like a match up for my character, any gender, and I'm fine with both npcs and compainion

Their name is Rhiannon they're a Mephistopheles Tiefling bard, that go by any pronoun.

They love animals, the arts, mythology, spicy food, getting praised, and giving the personal middle finger to those who cause problems for the little guys (Aka causing problems, like 'oh you want to use the bathroom, have fun with no toilet paper kind of problems). There is a chance if pushed far enough, like really far, like you just murder a group of babies, that she will go 'they will want death, but I won't give it to them, because it's too good for them.'

Is mostly okay with murder, with idea that 'Killing people is okay if they tried to kill you first' but won't kill animals or children because soft spots and raised with morals. He will listen to both sides of the story but will try to be unbiased.

She has a human father, unknown Tiefling mother, and human half-sister.

I always picture him with blue skin, small baby cow sized black horns, and white hair, rather light.

Hates the dark or not being able to see, has abandonment issues, and not sure what they want in life.

Most of all a silly little guy that loves music and needs to feel loved.

A/N: Hello Anon! I could have sworn, I’ve read about a Tav named Rhiannon before… I think from other writers? I looked to see if I could find the post because I wondered who they paired you with, but I didn’t come across it again. Oh well. As for your Rhiannon, in MY personal opinion, I think they’d best be matched with… either Karlach (Female) or Dammon (Male)!

Karlach would be a great match for Rhiannon as she is so optimistic and verbal in her love and appreciation for the people and the world around her. Karlach, despite all she’s endured, is still very open and trusting when it comes to her emotions.

As a fellow tiefling, Karlach understands a good bit about tiefling biology and culture. She most definitely experienced discrimination while she was working under Gortash in Baldur’s Gate. She’s also fiercely protective of the ones she loves, so if anyone comes for Rhiannon because they’re a tiefling, they better watch out- barbarian girlfriend on the defense!

Based on Karlach’s reactions to Scratch and the Owlbear cub, it’s safe to say that she enjoys animals as well. She’d be up for raising a pet together, whichever pet Rhiannon would prefer. She also appreciates the arts, even if she’s not the most knowledgeable about them. Karlach would need Rhiannon to explain the art form/technique being utilized. And spicy food? Oh boy! Spicy food is Karlach’s middle name. Even though she’ll eat just about anything (and I mean anything), spicy food is her favorite. She also gives loads of praise, so good thing Rhiannon loves being praised, otherwise, he might get embarrassed by Karlach’s constant compliments and encouragement.

Karlach is also fairly level-headed, with a similar protective side. Together she and Rhiannon make up for a pretty solid moral compass, and everyone respects them as such. With Karlach bringing the strength, and Rhiannon bringing the music, they’re the perfect yin-yang couple!

Dammon would also be a pretty good match (at least in my opinion). He’s kindhearted and soft-spoken and not one prone to violence. He’s a craftsman, not a fighter, like Rhiannon, so he understands the nature of their expertise, often being underestimated.

Obviously, as another tiefling himself, Dammon appreciates the fact that Rhiannon can relate to the discrimination and hardships he’s been through. Being a refugee from Elteral has definitely taken its toll on Dammon and a cheery and silly little music loving guy is exactly the kind of partner he needs to bring joy back into his life.

Dammon having a more orange complexion looks really well when standing next to Rhiannon with her blue complexion- their appearance and personal outfit styles compliment one another really well.

Overall a life shared with Dammon would be much more quiet, and wholesome, as opposed to a life of fighting and adventuring with Karlach, but if a nice quiet life to just play music is what Rhiannon is looking for, Dammon would be the best choice for him.

I hope you enjoyed!

And please, don't forget to Like, but most importantly, REBLOG my work if you liked it!

Also, consider Tipping Me Via Kofi <3

[imagineitdearies]

Hey! I am really enjoying your fic "Perfect Slaughter". You are such a great writer and I am always excited when a new chapter comes out :D

Do you have any other ideas for fics in the bg3 fandom cooking? Or hell, maybe even for other fandoms? I feel like there is so much potential ( especially with the flexibility of Tav-ships).

I feel like just for Astarion there are soooo many things I want to explore ( though I am terrible at actually bringing stuff to paper so I depend on cool writers like yourself)

Also, kind of semi-related, but in another ask you mentioned that you thought you were over vampires so I am wondering: did you ever play vampire the masquerade: bloodlines by any chance? That seems to be THE vampire game, or so the internet has me believe :P

~Regarding my fic Perfect Slaughter (Astarion x Tav, Astarion backstory-centric)~

Thank you so much anon!!

To be honest, my writer's mind is a bit consumed right now with the Perfect Slaughter tadpole, so otherwise I'm still just browsing recipes rather than cooking anything on the backburner yet 😂 I probably will write a couple self-indulgent Tyrus/Astarion one-shots based on my current playthrough, once I finish it, but we'll see if I end up posting them.

Once I finish the first draft of PS, though, this answer may change! I'm really enjoying the nontoxic vibes of the bg3 fandom thus far, so I'd love to set up shop here for a while 🥰

In regards to VTMB, I have not ventured into that bloody world yet. I am mostly a D&D 5E girlie at the moment, though I'm a lot more interested now in doing a Curse of Strahd campaign one day and trying out VTMB....fingers crossed!

[galeorderbride]

How many characters can we request for scenarios or headcanons? Would you do the same prompt with different characters? Would you accept requests for Astarion, Gale, Halsin, Wyll, and Haarlep? Are there any topics you won't do like rape, suicide, etc? Do you do poly ships x reader? Would you mind if we request for Alternate Universes or Aus like AU where the character lives happily? Would you mind if the request is suggestive, implied sex, or mentioned sex but no explicit sex? Would you mind if we don't specify the race/class to leave it ambiguous or if we ask specify the race/class like human/healer? What are the certain kinks you would accept for requests? Can anons request smut? Can we check with you if you received our requests? Thank you in advance!

Hi anon! Thanks for these questions about requests :) I will lay them out here to try and answer them all!

How many characters per request or headcanon, I guess as many as you’re picturing haha. Headcanons especially, I can do multiple characters. Which I suppose also answers the next question: yes, I will do the same prompt for different characters :) The characters you mention in these posts I will write for, but I don’t engage much with Astarion and Halsin, so idk how on the dot I will land their characters, but I will absolutely try!!

Topics I refuse to do is just underaged/bestiality types of content. Also no piss/scat kink stuff. Suicide or noncon material I will, as long as we discuss the specifics first.

This same goes for your question about kinks lol. I think most mainstream kinks are fine, but again, give me specifics and I can give a more detailed answer.

Poly ships x reader I can try, admittedly I’ve never written or read that stuff so there’s def authors out there who will do it better than me. But if it’s specifically my writing you want, we can certainly chat about it!

AUs of any kind are ok by me!

Smut and suggestive non explicit sex are both fine as well!

And anons absolutely can request smut. Alternately, if there are really specific things you wanna discuss about your request, you can direct message me and I will not tag you in the finished post. I understand not everyone will want their requests tied to their blogs and that’s ok :)

I will leave race/class ambiguous unless otherwise specified with my x reader or x tav fics. If you specify, I will absolutely go with that!

Finally, yes, feel free to check in! If you send me a non-anonymous request, I will likely message you anyway to confirm I’ve seen it and am working on it. If you post anonymously, you can shoot me a quick message to ask!

I hope this clarifies everything! Thank you for your interest, and I hope I can see a request from you soon :)

[viennacherries]

Would you accept requests for Astarion, Wyll, Haarlep, and Zevlor? How many characters can we request for headcanons? Would you do the same prompt with different characters? What kinks can we request? Are there any characters you won't do in each fandom? Are there any topics you won't do like rape, suicide, etc? Do you do poly ships x reader? Would you mind if we request for Alternate Universes or Aus like AU where the character lives happily? Would you mind if the request is suggestive, implied sex, or mentioned sex but no explicit sex? For Baldur's Gate 3 requests, would you mind if we don't specify the race/class to leave it ambiguous or if we ask specify the race/class like human/healer? Can we request NSFW if we're anonymous? Thank you in advance!

gonna answer these in order in the form of a fun list. you can read my more general request guidelines here

yes, you can send me requests for any character! i do get a lot of requests though so please be patient :)

for headcanons feel free to request as many characters as you like

happy to repeat prompts for different characters! just send them as separate asks. if you see something i've already written and want the prompt for a diff character just mention it in your ask :)

the only fandom i'm writing for atm is bg3, i don't think there's any characters i flat out won't write for but i do definitely prioritise requests for my favs so bear that in mind

this one is a little tricky. in theory, there's nothing i'm completely opposed to writing, and i'm happy for requests for anything. however, i don't think i'm in a place with my writing at the minute where i'll write non-con. partly because i don't want to trivialise it by writing about it poorly, and partly because i haven't experienced it and so it would feel somewhat disingenuous of me to try and write it. not sure if that makes sense. essentially, you're welcome to request absolutely anything, and i won't judge anyone for their requests, but bear in mind i might skip over it if im not fully confident/comfortable. i will write about suicide/suicidal ideation if this is requested and the prompt strikes inspiration. hope this has cleared that up a little.

more than happy to do poly ships! either with or without reader or tav is fine.

aus are also more than fine!

any level of nsfw is totally fine, if you have a preference for how explicit just make sure you specify :)

if you'd like the race/class/gender to be ambiguous please specify! otherwise i tend to pick something based on what i think fits the prompt. same goes for if you have something specific for each in mind, just specify :)

you're welcome to request nsfw through anon, some people feel more comfortable doing that because i reply to the asks when i post their prompt.

i hope this answered everything, if you have any more questions feel free to shoot me another ask or a private message.

not gonna tag this with the bg3 tags because of the mention of noncon and suicide. stay safe loves xxx

[bg3smash-or-pass]

Submission Guidelines

All submitted characters will be turned into polls posted by the main blog, so they will be effectively anonymous.

Companions and Major Campaign NPCs are a given, as well as NPCs who have a known horny following. Submitting them will bump them up in the queue. More obscure characters may need submitting to be included.

NO ANIMALS/BEASTS/MONSTERS Druids in wild shape (looking at you Bear Halsin) are acceptable, as are Monsters that can talk (Illithids, The Absolute, Drider). If you need Speak With Animals/Similar to talk to them, they will not be accepted. [I am also including Us in this, even though they can talk psionically, because that is my Son and Good Dog]

NO CHILDREN Duh.

Feel free to include a picture in your submission if the character is more obscure or if you just have a really sexy screenshot you’d like to see used!

You can submit your Tav if you like! Name and picture must be provided. I will @ the blog that submitted unless otherwise mentioned (just include “please post anon” in your submission)

Asks submitting characters who are already posted will be ignored. I just don’t have the time. You can use the search function like a big adventurer.

[optiwashere]

I love any and all comments. A heart emoji is amazing and equally phenomenal to see in the inbox, but sometimes a comment almost makes me cry.

Like? Anon, you wrote this in my comments and I'm a lil weepy looking at this because it's the sort of thing that feels so unbelievably validating. It makes posting stuff that I might otherwise shelve just for me so rewarding. And this part about my Tav?????????

"I also love asheera!!! never have i thought id care this much about an authors original character but youve caught me hook line and sinker. The doubt that creeps up in her mind is just so relatable."

Just zip up the body bag, I'm fuckin' dead

[karlastarion]

intro.

It’s a BG3 sideblog! My main blog is @bogunicorn, and I go by Bog (or any type of nickname you can wring out of “bog unicorn”). If you’re looking for more info about me as a person, that’ll all be over on my main

This blog and my main are both 18+. Please do not follow me if you’re under 18. I don’t keep close track of my followers, but I do check out blogs that follow me because of the spambots, and I block minors on sight.

what to expect here.

Spoiler tags, both for the game in general and by act. I use #bg3 spoilers, and #bg3 act [number] spoilers. I AM NO LONGER SPOILER-TAGGING.

Gifsets, fanart, jokey jokes, and probably speculative/meta posts.

My own BG3 thoughts, feelings, theories, random whatevers. My original posts of all kinds are tagged #bog post.

A general positivity toward queer shit, weird shit, horny shit, and kinky shit.

My fanfic and my OCs, when I get around to writing again. Anything relating to my own writing will be tagged #bogfic, anything involving my characters tagged #my ocs and then #character name (oc).

Generally, I’m a multishipper at heart and can find something to love about any given ship, PC choice, character, or type of storyline. Chances are if I’m spending my time talking about something or speculating on it, it’s because I’m having fun or enjoying myself.

Commentary on fandom trends and behaviors (and, sometimes, common sense reminders not to be a dick to each other about fake stuff).

To get blocked if you put rude or annoying shit in my mentions, including using any of my posts to character bash or otherwise go off-topic in order to air your personal grievances underneath my stuff. Mind your manners and blacklist or scroll if you need to.

what not to expect.

Consistent character bashing or character hate. I simply do not spend a majority of my online time thinking about stuff I hate.

Anonymous asks. Anon is always turned off, both here, on my main, and on my AO3.

Real world politics and news, or general (as in, not-BG3-specific) Disk Horse. Honestly, probably not even that much Baldur's Gate Discourse, either.

Equating in-game choices or fandom opinions with real life politics and morality. My politics and activism are for real people, not Wizard Politics or whatever.

the tag system ™.

#bog post - Any and all of my original posts.

#bogfic - Anything involving my writing or my OCs.

#my ocs - My OCs. Often accompanied by #[character name] (oc).

#spicy bog - Ye olde horny tag.

#bogcrit, #[character name] critical, #bg3 critical, #fandom bs - These are my Complaining Tags. If you never want to see anything truly critical or negative, just blacklist #bogcrit. If you want to avoid grousing or critique of a specific character, the game in general,or the fandom itself, blacklist whatever listed tag is relevant to you.

#fic, #art - Fanfic and fanart that I didn’t make.

#meta - Meta or speculation posts.

#ask meme - Blanket tag for any put-it-in-the-tags posts, as well as actual ask memes.

Characters are tagged by their full names. Custom characters are either #tav or #the dark urge, even if the PC in the post has a non-Tav name. It's just for organizational purposes.

Ships are tagged #[character] x [character] in alphabetical order.

contact.

complain to my manager

send me an ask

read my fic

[queenofthedork]

If you get this, answer w/ three random facts about yourself and send it to the last seven blogs in your notifs. anon or not, doesn’t matter, let’s get to know the person behind the blog!

Plsssss I always take so long to figure out what to say whenever someone asks me to talk about myself. But uhhh, let's see:

I took lessons in middle school to learn how to play violin and now am currently teaching myself how to play piano, lead, and bass guitar, although life is getting in the way of learning as quickly as I want to T-T

I cosplay on the side! I haven't taken photos to post on my insta in a super long time, but honestly, I'm happier just cosplaying and vibing instead even if I'm the only one who knows that I've cosplayed whatever character

Whenever I play games that involve character creation, it is a MUST that I like my character the whole way through otherwise, I'm deleting them and restarting regardless of how far into the game I've got. Great example: I've only beaten BG3 once and yet I have 533hrs in it (So many Tavs lost to the void lmao)

[easy-there-leftovers]

I just wanted to say I'm in love with what you've written for wizard!Tav and Gale so far. The tension is just so good!

Thank you so much for thinking so, anon!! I’ll admit, my writing subpar writing skills have deteriorated after not posting for a while, but I hope to remedy that!!

I liked this idea so much, after having played as a wizard in my most recent run!

After seeing all the “Wizard” dialogue options, I’ve come to realize how incredibly excitable this class was to prove one’s abilities to the others.

And in turn, how annoying it must be to have two Wizards in Baldur’s Gate. Given how the options really allow you to wedge yourself into any discussion. Magical or otherwise

[lunarmaden]

heya ✌️ i'm tav / fable, i'm 23 years old, my timezone is est, i've been in the rpc for ~10 years, and you could pour soup in my lap and i'd probably apologize to you. if the way these are worded makes me sound a little harsh, it isn't meant to come off that way!! i've just been in the rpc for too long to be vague or lenient. that said, a few rapid-fire rules before we get into the lengthier ones that actually need explaining:

— don't follow me if you're any sort of phobic towards any group of people. — mun =/= muse, i don't condone everything my muses do, you get the drill. — vagueposting / guiltposting is an instant block from me. it's not cute. we're all adults here, let's communicate and act like it. — don't rush me for replies, period. rushing me for a thread at all will result in me flat out dropping it.

[ 1 ] for blogs that i can’t see myself interacting with, i will soft block you to keep my followers clean. personal blogs will be hard blocked immediately unless a sideblog is attached to it and i can easily see that your personal blog is a hub. note that it will take me a little while sometimes to decide if i want to follow back. give me a few days at a minimum. do not unfollow and follow again and again to get my attention. i will just hard block you and call it a day.

[ 2 ] i'm neutral on callouts. if i see them and think the proof provided in it is actually valid, then i'll reblog it under my psa tag and leave it at that, no further discussion. it will not go under "drama tw" or anything of the sort, because if it's serious enough, it isn't petty drama. it's a genuine warning passed to other members of the community so they can make their own opinions about. that said, i also believe people can change. if there is proof of that, then i see no reason to hold past mistakes over someone's head.

[ 3 ] i will only write with 18+ muns. if you follow me and are a minor or your age is not listed clearly on your blog, i will soft block you immediately. do not lie to me about your age, you will be hard blocked if i find out.

on a similar but less serious note, i also don't follow if i can't immediately see an alias. just...kinda wanna know who i'm following, is all.

[ 4 ] i get that plotting is kinda important for some people!! however, rarely will i ever fully plot a thread, and i heavily prefer using memes to interact. now, plotting for the general vibe of the thread and dynamic between characters? absolutely!! but frankly, if i relied on completely plotting threads, i'd kill my creativity and get even less done than i already do. i'm here for a fun time, not a stressful and / or long time, so please be aware.

[ 5 ] speaking of relying on memes, send me several at a time! you're probably more likely to get a response if you give me variety to work with. if i get a meme i don't think i can work with, i'll probably send several back to you to make up for it. just so things don't feel lopsided or something.

[ 6 ] i am 23 and valynn is an adult ( even though elven ages are... a little weird ), so nsfw content is likely to show up here in some capacity. when it does, it'll be tagged as "nsfw //" ( or "suggestive //" if it's only implied ). however, i'm likely only going to write those topics with people i'm close to.

[ 7 ] anon hate is cringe, so if you send it, it won't get a response from me unless it's to make fun of you. at this point i expect most of us to know not to answer it seriously otherwise the sender is just being encouraged, so if i keep seeing it being answered / talked about on the dash ( unless it's being poked fun at ), i'm probably just going to soft block for my sake because. y'know, you didn't wanna get the negativity, i don't wanna see that negativity, etcetera.

on that note, untagged negativity will also lead to me unfollowing. untagged posts in general will lead to me unfollowing if it's a frequent thing, honestly.

[ 8 ] with how difficult tumblr has made it as of late to properly source things, i have become significantly more lenient when it comes to people reblogging memes and musings from me, as long as it isn't like several posts in a row. that said, i expect this understanding to be mutual. i'll always try to reblog from the source if i can, but if not, it'll just have to come from whoever slapped it on the dash.

[ 9 ] if you need something tagged, tell me! i’ll do my best to remember to tag what i need to, but please remind me if i happen to forget. the system i use is just "trigger //". now, if you use fancy tags for nsfw posts or posts that otherwise need a trigger warning and refuse to adjust if confronted about it, that's getting a hard block. it isn't difficult to be respectful of what people need tagged. the refusal to do so for your aesthetic is kinda fucked.

as for what i need tagged, all i ask is that visuals of sunflowers are tagged appropriately. i would also appreciate detailed mentions of terminal illness being tagged, specifically cancer, but that's more of a squick than a trigger, so that one is less of a problem.

[ 10 ] obligatory "let's just have fun" rule here. we're all on this hellsite to write our silly little guys, it really isn't that serious. just be decent, and we'll be chill!!