#otherwise I feel like it won't be the same
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Alright, this post has gotten super big and attracted tons of controversy and weird opinions so I thought I would clarify my position one last time :
No a militarized intervention, be it UN, US or whoever else, isn't a good idea. Bombs are never the answer, violence is never the answer, forcing an enormous change on people who's culture and ideas you don't understand is never the answer.
It seems the Malala Fund is seen as controversial for reasons that are unknown to me at the moment. In the meantime donating to Women for Afghan Women or to RAWA for those who can or want is still a good thing.
No Islam and religions aren't necessarily the problem. I am atheist myself, although raised in Christianity and while I absolutely believe that religion can be used and is used as a weapon in the world today, I do not believe that blaming them (instead of the people fostering an unsafe environment using them) is helpful.
Afghan Women don't necessarily want to live European/US women and that should not be the goal. The goal is for them to be safe, first and foremost, and have a choice as to what they want. The biggest thing that feminism can do is listen to Afghan Women. What do they need ? What can we provide ? They are the ones living in the situation, they know best than anybody.
Afghan Women being part of an Islamic culture doesn't mean that everything happening to them is normal or desired. The Taliban regime arrived by force and rules by force. Their society is not built on solid foundations, and without change it's certain that it won't last long. The problem is the damage they will do until it crumbles, and the damage that will be done while it's happening. The main victim of catastrophes are always the ones at the bottom of the social pyramid and in Afghanistan, it's Women. That's why we're fighting with them.
To clarify : I am against the very idea of a social pyramid. But because it exists, it has to be taken into account when deciding how to deal with things and how to provoke change.
I've had some wild comments about transidenty somehow so : to know if Afghan trans people are in danger, ask Afghan trans people. If you look at what witnesses and refugees are saying, all trans people are in danger. No they're not the danger. No transwomen are not just men trying to touch women by hiding as women. They face the same stigma as any other woman, and can be treated even worse when outed. How did you all decide they were the problem or that Afghan Women could just "become trans" to escape the oppressive regime like. How. Please. What the hell.
Stop being mean. I'm just a person who made a post on tumblr. This post may have gotten big but I still don't have the influence of other bloggers or people reblogging this post. I can't monitor everything. I can't even look at all the reblog because I don't have time. I can't answer everything. If you feel wronged because somebody said something in the reblogs, confront them, not me.
Once again I insist : I tried to educate myself but I can't guarantee I knew where to look and remembered it all correctly. Once again, I am just a random person on tumblr. If you think I should truly know something, you can go to my asks directly, otherwise there's a chance I won't see it. I don't know everything, be kind.
This post was made in the present tense but is in fact about the new law announced recently. Its details are unclear but it would essentially stop women from hearing each other pray (at least in public spaces) and other added things which many fear could lead to a total ban (if the details in the law don't immediately put it in action). As some have pointed out, women are currently still able to speak to each other in Afghanistan, but that may not last long.
I'm not american. Stop bringing the whole "Americans say this because they want to invade" argument, I'm not fucking American. I don't think of myself as a saviour. I don't think of myself as better. I just made a post about an info I saw that was bugging me, and needed to express just how wrong it felt somewhere. Don't assume I have or should have all the answers. I'm not even old enough to vote in my country. Keep that in mind when interacting.
This is one post out of hundreds people will see today. Yes it has an impact, but that doesn't mean it somehow makes me responsible for every single deranged idea somebody may have when seeing this. The average person will just like this post and move on with their lives, whether you think it's good or not. When interacting remember that I can't be expected to carry everything on one post's shoulder, nor that this post will somehow determine how people see Afghan Women for the next 30 years to come.
The amount of comments and people deciding that I was responsible for all of this because I made one fucking post about the subject is making me sick so. This is the last time I interact with my own post. I will stop responding or looking at reblogs and comments. I'll keep this post up because I do hope it reaches somebody who decides to donate or join local action to help but for the sake of my mental health (once again, just a random teenager online) I will not update it any longer.
And please remember that supporting local actions will always be more helpful than arguing with some strangers on the internet
This has been a psa or whatever
Women can't speak to each other in Afghanistan
Women can't speak to each other in Afghanistan
Women can't speak to each other Afghanistan
Women. Can't. Speak. To. Each. Other. In. Afghanistan.
No conversations
No hearing another woman's voice, no hearing her speak or pray
No way to share experiences no way to ask questions no way to organize
And if you ban education then they can't communicate by writing either
Women can't speak to each other in Afghanistan
Women can't communicate with other women in Afghanistan
People can't communicate with other people
That's how low we've gotten
Please don't forget about them.
#afghanistan#feminism#clarifications#what the hell man#I've had people telling me I was somehow directly responsible for people wanting war on afghanistan#or that all muslim people are the problem#go outside#talk to muslim people#talk to afghan people#talk to women#and talk to transgender people#don't just base your opinions on he she said they said#i've made that mistake before and am learning not to do it again#but also I'm not even a fucking adult yet#so keep that in mind when interacting
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needed to put my thoughts on paper about screwing daisuke or curly in the main lobby + some tidbits (pre-crash)
MDNI gn amab top reader, bottom character. can honestly be any of them i guess?? but i wrote this with curly and daisuke in mind lmao. basically just a horny post about same-room sex. half proof-read and probably ooc
imagine fucking him while he’s either sitting on the kitchen counter or laid against the table when everyone’s sound asleep in their respective cabins. he’s hiding his face in the crook of your neck where you can feel his warm breath against your skin as he’s trying oh so hard to keep his volume down. his hands clutch the back of your shirt so tightly you think he’s going to tear it. he bucks his hips, sending a shake bolting through his body. the moan it erupts is muffled by your neck, as are the rest of them. with your fast fucking he has to take a deep breath before hiking a leg up over your waist, angling your cock just a little bit deeper inside of him where he needs you most. the fear of getting caught has dwindled down, too distracted by the feeling of you pounding into him to even give it a second thought. all he can do is hook his legs around your waist and take your cock. he slaps a hand over his mouth to keep his moans repressed as he arches his back and cums. your cum filling him up is almost rejuvenating, and suddenly the consequences of getting caught means absolutely nothing as he rocks into you, his legs around your waist keeping you, and your cock, perfectly in place.
both daisuke and curly would really enjoy the humiliation aspect of something like this. actually getting caught would be absolutely mortifying, but if you were to successfully have sex in the kitchen or on one of the couches without anyone knowing or catching you? say goodbye to your dick because it's curly's now. it wouldn't be an insanely common thing between you two, but i do think that he would secretly be kind of in love with it. daisuke would enjoy it but i don't see him as too much of the exhibitionist type; he prefers getting caught being lovey-dovey.
curly definitely has a rebellious side, and if he was feeling frisky enough he'd lean against one of the kitchen counters while daisuke and swansea were at the dining table, bending over just enough to catch your eye. he might even brush himself against your crotch when passing by, but it wouldn't be noticeable to anyone other than you or someone actively looking for it.
though i don't think daisuke would be forward like that in public, (the most he'll do is give you kisses or sit in your lap while he's playing) he wouldn't mind if you kissed up his neck while he's playing sorry! or rifling in the kitchen for something to eat. swansea would scold you and it would make his face red, but he does enjoy the little thrill he gets out of someone catching you sneak kisses.
(i'm not entirely sure what their sleeping quarters entail, like if there's bunk beds and everyone sleeps in the same room) but in this case that is the set-up, and neither daisuke nor curly would be opposed to riding you on your bed while everyone else is asleep.
daisuke is like a bunny, riding you too fast for his own good until the creaking of the bed forces him to slow down. really, if you actually want to get caught this is the best way to do it, but to ensure there's some kind of dignity left, sitting up and controlling his speed while he has something stuffed in his mouth to keep him from whining is the way to go. otherwise he won't have the self-control to cover his own mouth where your hands are too far away to cover it for him before he wakes everyone up.
riding you is definitely one of curly's favorite things to do, so he would be great at it, even in a situation where you have to be quiet. he'd like leaning over and kissing you with his hands by your head and your arms wrapped around him. the main concern here is having the self-control to not buck your hips up into him, yet your feet are still planted flat on the bed, just in case. he's not the worst at being quiet, so why not make things exciting?
daisuke would love sneaking into bed with you, even if it really is just so sleep. he loves having his back flush against your chest as your hand goes down the front of his pants to stroke him. sometimes he'll just rock into your hand until he cums, and sometimes he'll take off his pants and slip your cock inside, rutting back against you until you push him down onto his stomach and take him. you have to be careful with daisuke because he's noisy, and if you can't tire him out he'll just ask you for more, and by that point the whole crew will know what you've been up to at night (as if they don't already know).
curly, depending on the circumstances, can a lot of the time be the one to start it. playing it off by giving you kisses on the corner of your lips and acting like it's just to send you off to sleep. but then he'll move his lips down to your jaw, and to your neck. you'll feel his hand palm at you through your pants, but if you try touching him he'll shush you, taking your cock out and stroking it painfully slow. you can kiss him, but then he won't throw the blanket over his head and mouth at your dick to slip it down his throat.
ftm!curly would adore having you eat him out under the covers. the feeling of your fingers curling inside of him is intoxicating, and having to keep his voice down and his breathing even just adds to the pleasure he feels. curly is good at keeping his volume down until you start sucking on his clit, then he has to turn his head and pull the pillow over his mouth to quiet himself. he bucks into your tongue a lot because even though he won't outright admit it, he revels in the thought that others might hear how wet you make him.
ftm!curly, if he's feeling too shy, likes when you fuck his thighs, being perfectly content with your cock grazing his cunt. he'll tweak his nipples and watch your dick being sandwiched by his thighs. if he doesn't cum, he's not opposed to finishing things quickly and having you just rub his clit while you kiss and nip at his chest.
ftm!daisuke also loves being eaten out but he's not as good at being quiet, so he'd prefer being fingered where the pleasure being inflicted upon him isn't as overwhelming and direct. he likes when you slowly drag your fingers in and out, spreading him open little by little while thumbing his clit every now and then. he gets very wet very fast, so being under the covers is ideal to drown out the sounds his cunt makes, especially when you begin to speed up and his thighs clamp around your hand because the feeling is too much.
ftm!daisuke loves dry-humping too, and he cums a lot quieter. he'd like having you hold him as he rides your thigh, clothed or not. daisuke also would love to feel the head of your cock rubbing against his pussy, teasing his entrance. absolutely can cum from just your dick gently slapping against his clit.
these thoughts honestly spawned from the very minute i saw the bedrolls on the ground in the lobby. i'm not even a horn-dog but one of my first thoughts was damn imagine fucking there so now here is this post to finally relinquish weeks of 'what-if-'s and 'i-would-totally-'s. i am really into the whole having sex with the chance of getting caught but would hate actually getting caught thing if you couldn't tell lmao.
#mouthwashing x reader#bottom mouthwashing#top male reader#daisuke x reader#captain curly x reader#the more i write for him the more i love curly#i have so many thoughts about this btw#this is my roman empire#dont even care if this is ooc cuz damn#afab character#ftm character#my writngs
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Just... Friends?
Pairing: Leviathan x GN! Reader
Summary: You have always liked him. Maybe more than what most people would consider as friendship. And you have a feeling that he also feels the same way. Yet it's frustrating whenever he refers to you as just a friend even though his actions say otherwise.
Genre: Fluff. Maybe crack too if you squint at it hard enough.
A/N: This was sitting on my drafts for AGES!!
But after several editing and removing some stuff, I finally got this story to go in a direction that I like!
Although there is a specific scene here that made me feel hypocritical lmaooo.
Happy reading! ❤️
Warning:
- Not proofread.
- Cussing.
- Levi is as dense as a brick.
- The reader is frustrated and decides to take matters into their own hands.
- The reader is referred to as MC.
- Probably OOC. This is just unplanned fluff writing. Asmo is acting as your wingman.
MASTERLIST
Inspired by "Just A Friend To You" by Meghan Trainor and Adrien Agreste from Miraculous Ladybug (lol)
You were done.
With a tired sigh, you leaned back on the sofa and closed your eyes. You thought back on what happened earlier in Levi's room.
"Woooo!! Finally!!"
The room was filled with joyous shouts when the TV screen displayed the word "victory" in large letters.
"MC, we finally beat the boss!"
Soon, you were enveloped by a familiar warmth as Levi tightly wrapped his arms around you. You felt your cheeks heat up a little when you noticed that his embrace was a little longer than usual.
"Haha, yes, we did. Congratulations to both of us."
Levi gently pushed you away within arm's length and looked at you with a grin. "I couldn't have done it without you."
"Eh? But I haven't done as much as you, though."
Levi shook his head in response. "That's not true! If you hadn't done that move, we'd still be playing this round again! Seriously, you're the best friend a gamer could ask for!"
You felt your eye twitch a little at his word. Friend.
You have always liked him. Maybe more than what most people would consider as friendship. And you have a feeling that he also feels the same way. Yet it's frustrating whenever he refers to you as just a friend even though his actions say otherwise.
You tried to show it through your actions that you like him countless times before, but for some reason, it always goes over his head.
The two of you continued to play some more before deciding enough was enough.
You dragged both of your hands on your face and sighed once more.
"You okay, hon?"
Your eyes flutter open at the sound of Asmodeus's voice. He looks at you, slight worry evident in his expression.
You gave him a small smile.
"Yeah, my eyes are just a little tired, that's all."
"You should really cut off some of your gaming time. Then you won't be complaining about how dry your eyes are anymore," Asmo chides you as he hands out an eyedrop for your eyes. But he knows you wouldn't listen to him no matter how many times he scolds you.
"Mmm, thanks."
......
As you put the eye solution on your eyes, you felt Asmo's focused stare on you.
"What is it?"
You sat up when you finished putting the eye solution. The fifth-born faces you with a knowing look as he sat on the sofa beside you.
"Spill it."
You look at him confused.
"Spill what?"
"It's a romance-related trouble, isn't it?"
Your eyes widened slightly. Was it that obvious? You felt your cheeks warm at the realization.
"I- um..."
You nodded, too embarrassed to form a coherent sentence at the moment.
"Wanna talk about it in my room instead?"
Well... it wouldn't hurt to talk about it to Asmo, you thought.
"Okay..."
Soon after you agreed, Asmo dragged you away and into his room.
.
.
.
"I'm back."
You looked at Asmo carrying a tray of cookies and tea. He went to the kitchen after letting you in his room.
"So, what's been bothering you, hm?" The Avatar of Lust asked, interest glimmering in his eyes.
"Oh, you know... the same old stuff," you grumbled as you flopped forward over the demon's lush bedsheet.
"Ah," was his reply once he realized what you were talking about.
"...You know you won't be suffering like that if you'd just say it straight to his face, right?"
"No."
Yeah, right. Easier said than done.
"Why not? You won't lose anything if you do."
"Yes, I do. I'd lose my dignity."
"Mhm. Right... And how did this way of "preserving" your dignity go for you?"
Asmo raised his perfectly shaped eyebrow on your unmoving form, completely unconvinced.
You can only groan in response.
"Come on, you know how my brother is. If you want him to know that you're in love with him, you have to say it to him directly. Otherwise, he'll think you're just being a really nice person, like what's happening right now." The fifth-born rolled his eyes, not at you but at his dense as a brick older brother.
...........
...........
"...But what if he really just think of me as a friend? What then? I don't wanna risk what we currently have over these... feelings," you mumble under your breath.
"Well, you wouldn't know that unless you do something, hon."
"And what if he rejects me?"
You finally moved after a while, turning your head to look at the beautiful demon who sat beside you.
"Then accept his feelings and move on. It'll be difficult, but atleast it's better than pining and stuck forever to where you are right now, not knowing how to move forward," he answered in a gentle tone and caressed your hair in a way that was akin to a mother comforting her crying child.
The gesture lulled you to sleep.
And as you slowly drifted off to dream world, a small part of you thought that yeah... you probably should confront your conundrum instead of running away from it.
Maybe... you should ask... Asmo for... help.
.
.
.
And that's how you found yourself sitting in a karaoke booth with Leviathan beside you.
"Oh wow! It's been AGES since the last time we hung out here!" The purple-haired demon grinned as he eagerly flipped through the song book.
"Ahaha... I know, right? Since exams are finally done, I thought this would be a great way to unwind after all that stress," you replied, careful not to let the bubbling anxiety inside you show.
"Oh, definitely! By the way, where are the others?"
As Levi asked that, you heard a ping from your phone. There was a message from Asmo.
[Asmo: "We're almost there but we'll give you some time together. Good luck, hon! 😘"]
You discreetly gulped at the message before putting your phone back to your pocket.
Thanks, Asmo!
"Asmo said they're going to be a bit late and we can just go ahead and order for ourselves or sing."
"Huh... alright," Levi said before going back to flipping through the song book.
"...."
"...."
"...Hey, Levi?"
"Hm?"
"Do you mind if I pick a song first?"
The demon looked at you quizzically. "Sure... Why though? You don't usually sing first."
"Well, um- you know... Just a change of pace," you shrugged.
You can feel sweat form on your hands.
After a moment, he handed the song book to you. Immediately, you felt the anxiety inside you intensify as you searched through the song book until you finally found what you were looking for.
You pressed buttons to enter the song number. The title flashed on the screen as you hit OK.
[Just A Friend To You by Meghan Trainor]
"Ooh, is this a song from the human world?" Levi asked.
"Yep," you answered.
Picking up the microphone, you took a deep breath to calm your erratic heartbeats.
Okay, this now or never.
"Why you gotta hug me like that every time you see me? Why you always making me laugh Swear you're catching feelings"
You looked at Levi, who, after you gave the song book back, returned to searching for songs to sing.
You turned your vision back to the karaoke screen.
"I loved you from the start, So it breaks my heart When you say I'm just a friend to you 'Cause friends don't do the things we do. Everybody knows you love me too. Tryna be careful with the words I use. I say it cause I'm dying to. I'm so much more than just a friend to you."
You looked back at him again, discreetly this time.
He was still busy with the song book.
Slowly, your anxiety was replaced by irritation.
Is he really THIS dense?? Or is he just acting like he knows nothing?
In your frustration, you stood up from where you were sitting.
"When there's other people around You never wanna kiss me. You tell me it's too late to hang out And you say you miss me."
You thought back to the times where he acted like he, too, liked you back.
Were those sweet gestures of his just a ploy to toy with you? Or was it just you who gave those actions a different meaning than what he actually intended?
You don't know anymore.
"And I loved you from the start, So it breaks my heart When you say I'm just a friend to you 'Cause friends don't do the things we do. Everybody knows you love me too."
You turned to face him, and to your surprise, his attention was now all on you.
As hard as it was, you managed to force yourself to keep looking at his citrine eyes.
"You say I'm just a friend to you Friends don't do the things we do. Everybody knows that I love you. I'll try to be careful with the words I use And I'll say it cause I'm dying to. You're so much more than just a friend to me."
Thick silence quickly replaced the fading last notes of the song.
Levi was the one who broke the staring contest between the two of you.
"Um... That- that was... a really good song. Though I think you sang the last verse wrong there."
You continued to stare at him.
"Levi."
He flinched when you said his name.
"I know this is weird and very sudden. But I seriously can't keep this to myself anymore. You are one, if not the most passionate and fun person I have ever met, and I always enjoy the time we spend together. In fact, I always look forward to the days we hang out. And, well..."
You swallowed the lump in your throat.
"What I want to say is that... I like you, Levi."
"You- you like... me?" The subject of your confession looked back at you incredulously.
You nodded.
"As- as a friend... right?" he asked, fidgeting.
What?
Now it was your turn to look at him wide-eyed. No way he's being serious.
"Huh? No. I mean I like you. Like like you. Romantically," you deadpanned.
"N-no way. You can't be serious."
"I'm totally serious."
Your nervousness slowly turned into annoyance.
"Levi-"
Before you could finish your sentence, Levi suddenly stood up, grabbed his stuff, and bolted out of the booth.
You could only blink at how fast it happened.
It was also at that moment that the rest of the brothers arrived.
"What's with him?" asked Mammon as he glanced at the direction his brother ran.
"I don't know. Maybe there's a limited time event on one of his games?" Beel replied.
However, one look at your expression and Asmo knew exactly what happened.
"Sorry guys, I'm suddenly feeling a little under the weather right now," the fifth-born says.
He grabbed your wrist and smiled. "With that said, I'm gonna go home. And I'm taking MC with me!"
"What?! You can't do that!" Mammon exclaimed in protest, as expected.
As much as you like to hang out with the other demon brothers, you're not in the mood to do so anymore after what happened.
So you forced yourself to smile.
"Sorry guys, maybe next time. Enjoy the karaoke for us!"
.
.
.
"Wanna tell me what happened, hon?"
After arriving at the House of Lamentation, you and Asmo made a beeline straight to his room. Though as you passed Levi's room, you felt a pang of pain in your chest.
And now, here you are, getting pampered by the Avatar of Lust himself.
"Well, you know... I confessed, and he rejected me," you smiled bitterly.
"...."
"...Oh, come on. Don't give me that look," you say when you noticed the worry in Asmo's eyes. "Atleast now, I won't be stuck pining for him forever, right?"
"Yeah, but that doesn't mean it won't hurt. And can't I worry about our adorable little lamb?"
You gave him a small smile. "Thanks a lot, Asmo. I mean it. And don't worry too much, I'll be fine."
You felt arms wrap around you as the demon hugged you.
"It's just- I already expected it to hurt if he rejected me outright. But seeing him run away like that, it's like he doesn't even want to hear it."
"Wait..."
All of a sudden, Asmo pulled back from the embrace and looked at you.
"So you mean to tell me he didn't gave you a proper reply?" he asks.
"Um... yeah," you respond.
"......"
At that moment, only one thought came to Asmodeus's mind.
For the love of everything beautiful, these two really are stupid when it comes to each other.
.
.
.
KNOCK KNOCK
"Levi, are you there? It's me, Asmo. Can we talk for a sec?"
It took a few more knocks before the third-born opened his door.
"Asmo? What is it? Hey-!" The demon protested as his brother made his way into his room.
"Don't worry, this won't take too long," said Asmo.
Seeing that his younger brother won't budge until he spoke with him, Levi sighed in defeat and closed the door.
"So, what is it that you want to speak with me so bad that you'd barge into my room with no permission?" he asked as he sat on his gaming chair, raising his eyebrow on the Avatar of Lust who was making himself comfortable with one of the beanbags in his room.
Asmo smiled before replying, "You like them, don't you?"
That made him flinch.
"Wha? Wh-why would you think that I like MC??"
That only made the fifth-born's smile grow into a grin.
"I never said their name, yet you immediately thought of them. So I was right, you do like them."
Levi felt his face warm up as he realized his slip-up.
"Do the others know?"
Asmo shrugged.
He could only hide his blushing face on his hands. Oh, how he wanted to curl up in a ball and let the earth swallow him whole right now.
"But if you like them, why didn't you tell them that when they confessed?"
Quickly, he turned to look back to his brother.
"How did you know that?! And what's it to you, anyway?"
"Levi," Asmo spoke with a serious voice, "you're my brother, and I want you to be happy. And if being with them will bring you that happiness, then why not go for it? Especially now that you know they like you back."
"But what if- what if they find out what kind of person I really am and hate me for it?"
"Honestly, I don't really know. And that's why..."
Levi's gaze followed Asmo as he walked up to the door and opened it.
It revealed the person he was avoiding for a few days now: you.
"Wh-why are they here?!" he panicked.
"To talk things out, duh! You two really need it," he heard him say as the fifth-born pushed you inside the room before closing the door once more.
Awkward silence filled the air between you.
"Hey," you said.
"H-hey."
It was the only thing he could mutter right now.
"Sorry, Asmo asked me to come here." You scratched your neck; Levi recalled it was one of your nervous tics. "I could leave, if you want."
"No! ...I-I mean, no, y-you can stay."
He gestured to the beanbag Asmo was sitting on earlier.
"Thanks..."
Once again, silence filled the air between you.
"...Um"
"I-"
Both of you spoke at the same time.
"Oh, sorry. Go ahead," he apologized.
"No, it's okay," you replied.
"...."
"...."
"Um, MC..."
"Yes?"
"...I'm sorry, for acting the way I did that day."
He looked down to his hands as he fidgeted with them.
"It's... alright. I should be the one apologizing for springing it onto you suddenly."
"...."
"...."
"To tell you the truth, I was really happy when you told me you like me."
"Mm..."
"And then I got scared."
"Scared of what?"
"Of doing you wrong. And you hating me for it. You deserve so much more than what I could offer you, and I'm scared that one day, you'd realize that and leave me."
"...Levi."
He looked up from his hands and his eyes met yours.
"Does all of that really matter when you're the one I want?"
His eyes widened.
"Say that you're right, and I do deserve more. But I want you, Levi, and that's all that there is to it."
If Levi never thought you beautiful before, he would now as he continued to stare into your eyes, clear and devoid of hesitation.
And before he knew it, he walked up to where you are and kissed you.
It was everything he thought it would be and more. Your lips were soft and sweet.
It was as if he was brought back to heaven for a moment until the two of you broke contact for air.
He pressed his forehead to yours.
"Do you really mean it? Even if I'd annoy you to hell? Even if I won't be as sweet as the leading men in those shoujo animes you like? And–"
"Yes, I do. I mean it," you giggled as you cupped his cheeks with your hands.
And for the first time after a few days, Levi shyly smiled.
"So, does this mean we're a couple now?" you asked.
"Yeah. I guess we are."
.
.
.
Lifting his ear from the door, Asmo made a thumbs up gesture to his brothers who were with him.
It was a success.
Mammon was the first to react. "FINA–"
He was shushed by the others.
"Oops, sorry."
"Good for them. They finally got together after all this time pining for each other," Satan says.
"Yeah, it was getting kinda annoying seeing them give each other longing gazes," Belphegor remarked.
The others nodded in agreement.
"Atleast they're happy now."
It was Beelzebub who spoke this time with a hushed voice.
"Wait, does this mean we'll be seeing them be lovey-dovey with each other now?"
"...."
"...."
"...."
"...."
"...."
"...."
"...I hope not. That would be way more annoying than seeing them pine for each other obliviously."
Once again, the brothers nodded in agreement.
"All right, now that they're together now, let's all celebrate!" Mammon cheered in a hushed voice.
But before he could knock on the third-born's door, a gloved hand grabbed him by the shoulder.
"Stop that and leave them alone. Let them have their moment together with no interruptions, for goodness' sake," said Lucifer.
"Just go back to your rooms," he added.
At that, the brothers dispersed and went to their respective rooms.
Before he left, however, Asmo gave Levi's room one last look and softly smiled.
"I'm happy for the both of you, MC, Levi."
#Spotify#obey me#obey me shall we date#obey me x reader#obey me fluff#obey me leviathan#obey me leviathan x reader#obey me levi x reader#obey me leviathan x mc#obey me levi x mc#cookie writings
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any thoughts on reverse falls stancest? i don't often see content of them and i'd love to see what u think!
okay, honestly? i don't have many thoughts on them. i don't know too much about reverse f4lls in the first place, much less stan and ford -- HOWEVER.
i DO have thoughts on relativity + reverse f4lls stancest. there's a lot of reverse f4lls art of dipper and mabel that certainly have. Vibes to them. unintentional or otherwise. and i think it'd be funny if RR stan & ford did that on purpose.
yk how it ohshc, the hitachiin twins have that whole twincest act to get money? it's like that, but a lot less overt. i imagine in this, stan's the main brain behind the marketing side of things, but mabel is the one who contributes to that kinda stuff. weird forbidden romantic stuff sells!
this also opens itself up to fun possibilities. whoever takes the role of dipper & mabel now (bud & preston? bud & fidds? carla & preston? carla & fidds? the sibling brothers? you decide, there's like, a million different variants to choose from) seeing them and freaking out. stan & ford being totally platonic and doing their weird will-they-won't-they thing just for money. stan & ford developing feelings for each other and having to simultaneously grapple with "OH GOD THAT'S MY BROTHER" while also having a fake dating thing going on. the possibilities are endless.
maybe they even double down on the whole identical twins thing and dress the same, including stan wearing glasses and ford wearing gloves to hide his 6th fingers. boy, i sure am glad that ford has no desire to be seen independently of his brother, amirite guys /s
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six months after discovering the truth, lee takes his family to visit the fire nation.
it's his first time leaving ba sing se, the part of his brain that lies to him says. he's never been to the fire nation before, it says. lee treats it as the lie it is, but he can't help but feel excitement at the prospect. it's true that he's never left ba sing se since becoming lee- and he's never been back to the fire nation since effectively being rewritten.
he lets izumi and meiko choose the destination. they pick a place called ember island. lee regrets letting them choose- ember island is expensive. the tea shop makes a good profit, but it takes quite a bit of budgeting to actually make the trip a reality- at least until fire lord iroh casually invites them to stay at the royal family's villa there.
...he almost turns him down, until jin points out that by all rights, it's lee's villa too. right. fire lord iroh- and he still can't quite bring himself to call the man uncle- assures him that he will have the place cleaned before their arrival. he says it with a bit of a wink, so lee can sense by 'clean' he also means 'hide any childhood portraits of prince zuko'.
all lee ends up needing to pay for is transportation. he purchases boat tickets for his family, springing for a slightly larger cabin. it's his first time on a boat, his lying brain tells him- even as it's immediately contradicted by getting his sea legs much faster than the rest of his family. right. prince zuko would have spent three years living on a ship. he guesses the muscle memory is still there.
the villa is a spacious one, as befitting of a royal villa. izumi and meiko are thrilled to have their own rooms. fire lord iroh has even thought to have a crib brought over for zhu to sleep in, but the villa itself is otherwise empty of any servants, which lee is grateful for. he's not sure how he'd deal with being waited on hand and foot.
they stay on ember island for two weeks.
izumi and meiko love it.
and lee... he's enjoying himself too. he's always felt like he kind of stood out back home in ba sing se- and now he realizes that's because he's been fire nation this whole time. he tries dressing in fire nation reds, and while it doesn't feel quite right on him, no one so much as bats an eye in his direction.
(he can't say the same for jin- or meiko, who looks like her mother.)
they make friends with an older couple while they're there- noriko and noren. they're also there on a vacation with their adult daughter, kiyi. he feels oddly drawn to noriko in a way that he can't quite understand, and briefly wonders if he'd maybe known her as zuko-
-before quickly shelving the idea. after all, he doesn't even feel the same way about his uncle.
noriko and noren invite them to have dinner with them. they end the night at the theater, where the local players are putting on a performance of love amongst the dragons, a fire nation tale. he can't discern if his brain is lying to him or not when it tells him this is the first time he's ever seen it. he can't shake the feeling they're not doing it right, though.
noriko and noren depart for their home village of hira'a the next morning. lee tells them they're welcome to visit the lotus blossom if they ever find themselves in ba sing se. he'll make them a free cup of tea. his own family spends a few more days on ember island, during which lee learns many things about himself.
he and izumi discover they both like spicy food. lee makes sure to visit the market to pick up some authentic fire nation spices before they leave. jin tells him she will divorce him if he starts making all of their meals spicy. he laughs, and promises he won't.
he tells his daughters he's a firebender.
he only lies to them a little. they have fire nation ancestry, as it turns out. he didn't even know about it- or his own firebending- until recently. meiko is excited at the prospect of sharing this with her father. he pretends to bow to her, and asks for her teachings. it makes her laugh. the sound makes lee smile.
he's already making plans to come back when they leave.
thinking about the bad end variation of the lee from the tea shop au again. thinking about how iroh has long since resigned himself to the fact that his nephew is likely dead. he held out hope for as long as he could, but he is certain that if his nephew were alive, someone would have found him by now. azula likely knows what happened to him, but she refuses to talk.
then he receives a letter from sokka, telling him to come to ba sing se.
iroh makes the trek. he does not know what to expect when he gets there. what he gets is a grim-faced sokka, holding a pair of logbooks. he tells him he's found a lead on zuko, and that he needs to read this. he warns him that it's not going to be an easy read- and that he's sorry.
he's right. they are not an easy read.
iroh is an old man now. he was old when he took the throne, but he is older still now. but reading the logbook still stokes a fire in the old man's heart- a simmering rage that makes him want to return to his old ways as a general and burn this wretched city to the ground.
he does not do that, of course.
"the person who did this is dead," sokka says, "-if that's any comfort."
it is not. iroh would have liked to do it himself.
"...i know where to find him," sokka also tells him, "-if you... if you want to meet lee."
iroh does. very much so. sokka directs him to a tea shop called the lotus blossom, in the middle ring. lee runs it. iroh removes his crown headpiece and dons humble robes of earth kingdom brown, styling his hair in earth kingdom fashion. it is enough to disguise him. the tea shop is a modest one- not as fancy as the jasmine dragon had been, but certainly an improvement over pao's.
he is greeted by a young woman with braided hair and a sleeping infant swaddled on her back and is guided to a seat. he asks for the owner's favorite blend- and one of these scrumptious looking fruit tarts, if you do not mind. she returns with them, and iroh drinks deep the scent of jasmine tea.
he always hoped zuko would drink more of it.
there are two young girls sitting at an empty table near him. the eldest is reading a book. the younger is kicking her feet impatiently. iroh can see the fire nation in them, plain as day- as well as in the sleeping infant. he asks the young woman if he might have a chance to speak to the owner. the tea is delicious. he would like to pay his compliments.
she smiles, and tells him she'll fetch her husband right away.
iroh tries very hard not to stare when his nephew emerges from the kitchen. he wears his hair long and braided, concealing his scar with his bangs. he wears the green robes of an earth kingdom man of modest income, and a starched white apron over that. he is taller than he remembers, and carries himself in a different manner entirely.
"dad!" the youngest of the two girls rushes him. "i'm bored. can I go play with my friends?"
his nephew laughs and ruffles her hair. he tells her she can, and asks the eldest- izumi- if she doesn't mind walking her to her friend's place. izumi sighs, but she soon leaves with her younger sister, holding her hand. iroh would place them at around ten and six, if he had to guess.
his nephew greets him with a smile. there is no recognition in his eyes. iroh had anticipated it, but it still hits him like a hard blow. he shows none of this on his face, instead complimenting him on his tea. his nephew thanks him, but is soon pulled away by another customer. iroh watches him out of the corner of his eye.
...it's true. his nephew is a different person now.
but he is alive. he is alive, and he is happy. he has his own family. a successful tea shop. given how long he has resigned himself to zuko being dead, this seems a kinder outcome. iroh lingers in the lotus blossom until closing, simply watching his nephew. he contemplates his next step. sokka has told z- lee the truth, so he could reveal himself.
he could also leave without saying anything.
his nephew has a happy life here. does he really have the right to complicate it even further? and yet... iroh cannot help himself. he has mourned zuko many times over these past two decades. he must speak with lee, or he does not think he can ever let zuko rest.
he lingers past closing time. he knows it is rude behavior, but lee is patient in a way zuko never was. once he is the last person left in the store, iroh stands up and asks lee if he might speak with him again. he removes the five-pronged crown from where he has hidden it, and slides it into his top knot.
"i am told," iroh says, "-that this is where I might find the man who was once my nephew."
#lee from the tea shop#what lee doesn't know: actually the budgeting is a leftover skill from zuko#you think *iroh* was managing the budget on that ship? absolutely not. it was all zuko#he would just blow their money on useless crap all the time if zuko let him hold the purse strings#lee voice: my daughters *must* be princesses because they immediately made a beeline for the most expensive choice
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This morning I've been reconsidering my stance in holding off when it comes about spoilers every time a new patch comes. Mainly because I've noticed that each person has their priorities when playing Genshin and what might me important to me (heavy lore 99% of the times), might not be for the next person and chances are that for example a questline such as the Aranara's has never been played even up until now by some. Meaning that even after all this time, talking about that questline would be spoilers for someone. Some might put more interest in events that are more lighthearted and include a large variety of characters and prioritize that over what I do, while I, even if usually I take a bit longer until I get to play those events (sometimes I don't, depending of time restrictions but also depending of my interest on things I see here and there) and sometimes I don't even play them myself and simply limit myself to what I see peeps talking and what I search deliberately to inform myself of.
Furthermore, I've noticed some people who would talk about recent things without a warning at all and nothing seems to happen (as it should imo, it's just this constant fear of mine which I should let go of). Related to myself now, I also realized thanks to the previous patch that this hype kind of dies down when waiting to comment things and it doesn't quite feel the same anymore, even if the content of what there is to transmit is essentially the same.
So in view of what I discussed here and more that are hard to put into words, I'm making the decision of establishing this blog as not spoiler free effective immediately. That is not to say that I will start bombarding the dash now with things I want to talk about, as these posts tend to take time to be written to begin with and by the time I finish putting all my thoughts in order and start posting, chances are that for a good portion of people it won't count as spoilers anymore. All in all, I want this experience to be less restrictive to myself, specially seeing people talking about spoilers without making mention that they are and nothing really happens.
#sometimes I feel bad for pestering some friends#about my thoughts#and I still want to display them on the blog#partly because it's relevant to my muse among other things#and as a lore lover and as someone who writes a character#who has a wide variety of knowledge from the best source#I can do that and see if I weave that with my interpretation#of Dain or not#it's hard to deflate when wanting to talk about things#because of these self-imposed restrictions#and I want to get rid of that#I'm sure that by now you peeps know#that I'm huge fan of Genshin's heavy lore#anyway later I'll put a post of the things pending to address#and I'll start saving them to drafts to post little by little#before jumping onto Nahida's quest#otherwise I feel like it won't be the same#when overwhelming myself with this much lore#plus her quest's#which I know it's great and I couldn't be more excited#about more Dragon Era lore
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if i said i picked up this issue for anything but drunk erik i fear i'd be lying
(Wolverine (2020) #3)
#xmen#xmen comics#krakoa#magneto#ok fine logan can get a tag too. this IS his story after all ja/lkLAJVEAVKLJ#wolverine#snap scans#i should read the rest of this run but its like 47 issues i think so. gonna take some time with that#spliced up the panels so its easier to look at everything. and so i can frame drunk passed out erik on my wall#someone uploaded some of the first page some time ago but 1.) i forgot to rb it 2.) it didnt include the rest of the scene#it ESP didnt include erik fallin face first on the table and his lil sleepin face on the next page like please im gettin cuteness aggressio#im so miffed that these are printed on the same page cause i woulda framed this spread otherwise like PLEASE#this shit got me GIGGLING SO BAD i cant. 'dare i say it .......' he's so unnecessary i love him so much#he's so silly ..... also someone said it best in that whenever erik's drawn like a bug it's the best thing#like look at him. that's a beetle. that's my little beetle and i love him i need to put him in a terrarium and watch him#honestly theres a LOT of things i have scanned and wanna share however i have to do it. Reasonably so to speak#in that i dont want to accidentally drown out all my doodling with comic scans jvEALKVJEAKL#maybe i'll do it sandwich style ... art -> scan -> art -> scan etc etc#that does remind me i have a doodle i wanted to do today. so maybe ill do that and share another thing i got scanned ....#unfortunately i do very much love reading the comics. a troublesome thing cause theres so much i wanna share and talk about#like from this issue too i love how hank describes what charles' mutation feels like#its not a grand thing but i love it whenever charles' telepathy is described and how it effects him physiologically#maybe hank was just Theorizing what it feels like but still ... i love that insight so much .....#i'll share that quote another time- i prob won't scan the page cause it's just a text log but i will say it was from here dont worry#ok ive rambled long enough BYE im gonna go draw charles
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Hi Bel! If YOU could make an expansion, what would you theme it around?
I've been thinking about this ask for 2 days and I still don't know, there are so many things I would want to go into it. It's impossible for me to choose. Possibly my biggest interest is exploring the universe in some way and uncovering its history.
Instead, I am asking all of YOU what would you theme an expansion around. Put it in the tags.
#destiny 2#ask#one of the things i would like is more on the vex and especially VOLANTIS. LET ME GO THERE#i would make an entire expansion about this 100%#i thought also maybe some of the more niche lore stuff like the aphelion but i actually don't want it. i want it to be a mystery forever#like i won't be mad if it happens but i prefer some stuff to remain strange and unknowable. not everything needs an explanation#same thing with exploring the universe. i would like some stuff explored but not all#some of it has to stay forever out of reach#otherwise the setting ends up feeling too small. good scifi knows when to stop. destiny has been really good with it so far
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I laugh every time someone says Penelope is more of a feminist who understands women's rights more than Eloise simply because she's LW because, be so for real right now, that is such a lie. Like Eloise has her moments and her feminism is very yte and privileged, but at least she takes the time to actually consider from other's perspective, even if she's rude here and there, and appears to make attempts to grow as a character (when the narrative allows her to rather than picking favorites). Penelope exposing secrets and being feared by most of the Ton, especially the women and young girls, for the amount of power she has does not scream feminist to me but go off.
#bridgerton#eloise bridgerton#anti penelope featherington#tbh both of their views of feminism sucks but at least eloise shows potential for growth and won't out you to society for a cash grab#pen does have room the grow but the show does not allow for her to do so so all her successes feel so lackluster#some are quick to call her a feminist just because of few lines that pulled heart strings but will brush under the rug how she nearly set up#daphne to be preyed upon by a nasty man and left marina nearly destitute and alone while pregnant#don't even get me started on her being abliest bc abliesm =/= feminism#same thing with using language that borders racial microaggressions (*cough* kate and simon *cough*)#like you can like pen all you want but i don't think she's really a feminist#and that would be okay bc not every female character has to be had some in the fandom not kept trying to say otherwise
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I have learnt things about Geto that I wish I could unlearn
#I think I'm getting about the same amount of spoilers as a few weeks ago except now I understand them#But like. I expected so much of him#Seeing gifs of that one scene in which Gojo gets distracted because of Geto almost made me watch this a year ago#Geto was actually my favourite character in that one JJK fanfic I read that I mention so often even if he had literally one scene#I know so much of the emotional turmoil and conflict in JJK and Gojo in particular depends on him#And you're telling me he's Thanos?#I learnt a few days ago that everything pretty much happens in one year. That there's one year between Geto's death and Gojo's#I thought it would be like ten years. Ten years of the act haunting him#But no? So it's not a broken teenager who has these ideas and is killed by another teenager to stop him?#It's a what? ~30yo man saying Light levels of stupidity? Even worse perhaps?#Goodness I hope this is not so. I hope this is better written than what I am seeing#Because goddammit I can't do it. It would kinda ruin every emotional scene from then on?#That one scene I was so looking forwards about patting Gojo's back or whatever. The one in which Gojo gets distracted. It just. I don't know#I won't be able to be moved if Geto doesn't work xD#I was fearing I wasn't going to like him a lot because my expectations were big but oh my god please not like this#This is way worse than I expected. Someone tell me he actually makes sense. What's the point of this whole political play#in which no one is fully wrong and no one is totally right otherwise? What is the point of the haunting. This feels just idiotic xD#And I don't care about the traumas and all that. That works for the teen not the ~30yo man#It would have worked if Gojo would have killed him like 1-2 years after everything not like a few months ago. Last winter#After like ten years a 30yo man should have realised this plan sucks.#Even if it's utilitarian. Who is going to make clothes? Buildings? Streets and railways? Bread??? Go have a talk with Nanami please#We have been told there are not a lot of jujutsu sorcerers. How are you going to fulfill all those needs out of nothing?#And even if it were little by little so the needs could be getting fulfilled little by little too#If you decimate humans won't that cause more curses? I guess he's thinking on the long run but still this plan seems like a mess#I hope it makes more sense than it's looking it will make because of my god this would truly be the last nail on the coffin xD#I am being more and more tempted to get to Utahime and then just drop this. This is breaking my heart xD#It could be soooo good and it always almost is#And then. AND THEN. Abfksbfndbfkan#Jen pick me up. Come solve this. I am scared xD#I talk too much
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thinks about Kohane Azusawa and photography (explodes)
#you know how she said she wished she could feel as passionate about something as an or minori#but she was already doing photography as a hobby by then#something about that. something about photography not exactly being her passion but it being something she knows#(especially in the sense that it was her dad that got her into it. her family being the only significant people in her life before hs)#(azusawa family and how little we truly know of you i want to blow you up so badly in the good way)#go further in with that line from over rad squad (she can feel passionate about things because of other people)#so a. photography literally coming from papa azusawa b. photography was how she experienced things growing up#pictures of the mundane. pictures of action. pictures of the things kohane would have loved to try#but considered herself incapable of pursuing#but photography itself didn't give her that passion otherwise she would have mentioned it in the main story#then vivid bad squad. an's side story for the first wedding event where she rushes over to take photos of them all#the photos from same dreams same colours. her photos being used in their flyers#kohane's fes card. the gallery of what she cherishes most. the trained and the outfit#photography has become something she does love. genuinely love. thanks to vivid bad squad#how kohane's passion for something comes from other people. how her love for her hobby properly comes out with them#it is most likely the thing she will be doing when vivid bad squad retires from singing (however long that takes)#or maybe even it'll be what she does on the side#sega i know we got the valentines event to sort of give us this but. proper kohane unit focus based around photography? please?#card set that looks like photos kohane took? the edges looking a bit old? a way of showing how much she loves these memories?#an event that reintroduces papa azusawa???#if they're going abroad it could be going over her anxieties about it (however that depends on how long it is until then)#(i doubt next event will be straight into the travelling. we maybe won't even get it this rotation)#(so maybe. maybe if they swap an and kohane around so kohane kicks off rotation 6 for vbs?)#(idk. blah)#bagel's rambles
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Hiatus
I am going on hiatus for a bit more. I really really hoped the stuff that have been going on lately were already "sorted out" but, uhm... they aren't. I need to take a bit more time offline once again, and try to work things out.
Thank you for your patience ❤
Wren
#EDIT: I've deactivated my IG for a bit because it wasn't helping at all. I'll be back there but I need time#wren text tag#somehow issues from mid July/early August have managed to get worse. Like I'm not even surprised bc I'm used to it but GIRL . What the fuck#“it's finally summer”+“can't wait to draw!” * gets 3 hiatus in a row * maybe drawing or summer isn't really meant to be 🤨🤔#I hate having to log-in to post a hiatus message and then dissapear again when I'm supposed to post my doodles n have fun#Feels like one of those jesters that appears at luncheon to entertain the royal court and then they go missing for the rest of the month#bc I'm trying very hard not to hide in my shell + having a bit more presence here to post my artwork#and somehow I fail at both like fucking heck. How can you be so bad at this.#but in short I won't be here to answer stuff and being silly or whatever people expect me to do#because if you're here for the silly stuff. MAN. I'm am sorry but I don't feel silly at all.#Somebody once said “the horrors are never ending yet I remain silly” but I forgot the “remain silly” part#And if you're here for drawings. I don't even have time and I don't feel like drawing at all. Idk which one is worse#The bakery hangs up the “closed today” so people know they have to go to buy bread somewhere else. Same here. But it won't last a day#idk why the bread analogy. Guess I'm a birb after all#this is also the closest thing to a vent post I will ever write and I managed to say nothing at all. Vagueposting about vent. Good job Wren#tw: vent#tagging in case somebody like me needs to have some tags filtered#the hiatus will go on also a bit longer because the last few weeks my mental health suffered a lot and I know my limit#also this post was queued. If I see I can still be active before publishing I will delete it otherwise see for yourself#also queue doesn't work ig like I programmed this for 9 pm hopefully it will be up by then and not any other random time
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AAAAAA MY CRUSH HAS FINALLY MULLED IT OVER AND DECIDED HE'D BE OKAY WITH SHARING A HOTEL ROOM WITH ME IF IT'S OK WITH ME
#OF COURSE IT'S OKAY A THOUSAND TIMES YES YES YES#NOW. I just need our local board to agree to paying for a SINGLE double room and not TWO double rooms#AND I MEAN. I feel like that's an easy economical argument because otherwise it's Expensive#And they BETTER not be bringing in any Victorian attitudes about 'oh a man and a woman can’t share a room that's improper' I DON'T CARE.#I'M FROM A NEW GENERATION. A MODERN ONE. WHERE YOU INTENSELY DAYDREAM ALL NIGHT BESIDE YOUR CRUSH INSTEAD OF MAKING MOVES AND FLIRTING#I'M CONFIDENT HE WON'T MURDER ME IN MY SLEEP (OR AWAKE) AND I CAN PROMISE HIM I WON'T DO THE SAME. YEAH GO TRUST#He wrote my name in a mail for the first time I love seeing it I'm rereading the message he sent to the board over and over hehe <3333
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I'm just sitting here mentally telling myself 'I don't have to like him just because I find him attractive, I don't have to like him just because he's hot, I don't have to like him just because I like the character' over and over until I start to believe it
#every single time I love a character I also start to love the actor. sometimes that sucks. I don't want to. I want to pretend he doesn't#exist#but he's got the same face and the same body and the same voice and I just. how do I not do this.#I don't like him. I don't want to like him. he's at the very least kinda gross about women. which I'm not okay with. so. just. ugggh#it's just that I look at him and my mind shuts off and it's like 😍🥰😍#rationally I know that's also fine. I'm allowed to like people who aren't perfect (and no one is perfect anyway)#buuut. it makes me feel disgusting.#idk. I guess I just. i dealt with this for so long when I was younger because like. most of the men I thought were hot were also#misogynistic. because the culture at the time was so much worse. and it was just accepted.#and I fucking hated it and I don't want to deal with that anymore#it's just. idk. it feels gross and bad and I don't like it#but. I do find him extremely attractive and I want him so so bad and I don't know what to do with that#ugh I need to just. not be attracted to people. it happens so rarely but when it does it only causes trouble.#or maybe I need to get over these weird morality standards that I have but I don't think that's possible? like how would that work? I don't#get it.#anyway. yes this is about Eliot/CK no I won't elaborate on that and also I hope he's actually a great guy and everything I've seen#that made me think otherwise is just wrong#I will still stare at his face and think about him and listen to his stupid gross music all day. and I will enjoy it. but I will also#feel conflicted about it 😔#(but damn it he is hot and his arms are big and I am just a human being and I am very very weak 😫 big arms make me fucking stupid)
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trying to explain charoum cries during sex like okay so it's not that charoum has never felt an honest emotion, it's that he's just inherently disinterested in contextualizing his emotions in an authentic way, and so the single time he genuinely feels something and is unable to sublimate it into a performance to further an agenda, he immediately gets so overwhelmed by the experience he collapses in on himself and it all ends up leaking out of him.
and it just so happens that this happens while astarion is attempting to seduce him.
so by the time charoum settles back into himself again, and is better able to channel his emotions into something productive, he now has one single core memory of feeling something, genuinely, as himself, with absolutely no ulterior motive behind it. and he links that experience with astarion. which does (un)fortunately link them together tighter than charoum has ever been bound to anyone else in his life. which should be fine for them.
#it's like. the thing with alfira happens. charoum is shaken up by it (and his lack of control over himself) but otherwise feels fine.#good even. he lied his way through something and feels good about it - even though he doesn't necessarily like that he killed her.#it wakes up a part of him that was otherwise lying dormant and helps orient how he feels.#and then a couple days later astarion propositions him.#because astarion literally doesn't give a shit about alfira and doesn't even consider for a second that someone dying in camp is a reason#to stop his plan to seduce charoum into keeping growing attached to him.#and it goes fine! it's all going fine! but then charoum lets astarion bite him (because he genuinely finds that hot. they both know this.)#and suddenly charoum's in this immediate physical moment and there's blood and there's a body on him and his heart is pounding#and he's flooded with completely uncontrollable emotion - the same way he was filled with a completely uncontrollable compulsion to kill#and he panics. and he cries.#which freaks astarion out (though he won't admit it) which makes charoum panic (which is a reaction he doesn't understand)#and he tries to play it off and say they can just keep going through it. which. astarion obviously handles. not well.#and so he responds the way he always responds when he's uncomfortable - which is to say extremely biting and callously#and it's just. genuinely an entire mess. at some point i'm just gonna write a fic about it i think#anyways charoum cries during sex real and true and important.#charoum
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did you know i love my friends so much.
#⋯ ꒰ა starry thoughts ໒꒱ *·˚#i met 3+ people this year and i think those 3 i can already call best friends... they are all a lil bit similar to each other and to me and#my twin but we differ too in obvious ways and it's just so beautiful to me!#i like how they come from different walks of life! makes me really feel like i'm maturing and growing up even if that's something i don't#necessarily like either but also i won't be getting into that rn oops. uhm anyways!#i love them all a lot !!!#matching bracelets with my group of 4 for 6+ years now... we've been thru some rough patches but i love them so much!#rn i mostly just have problems w one but it's likely bcs she's in the next year compared to us all. early in the next year but yeah#hehehe <3 OH and also matching necklaces kinda !!! morse code ^___^ we all don't know what's written tho hehe#but yeah matching bracelets w our names ... mwa. love them sm#the other friend met early this year! it was my first experience meeting someone so similar to me and my twin so it meant a lot#i think i'm comfy just being my self w them in the same way i am w my twin bcs 1. they are a guy so i don't have to act uhh in a kinda#way i have to do w one of the friends in my group of 4? not that i'm faking that but it's more freeing! so yeah. we already talked about#our world beliefs and philosophies early in our meeting so that was weirdly uh. central to how we're just comfy#they're a bit diff to me and i can tell in what ways and i kinda don't see eye-to-eye on some topics but i kinda like that i'm trying to be#mature about that! like w adult relationships that i examine but oops won't get into that rn#the other friend!! differs from the other two in that they're the only one who has priorly played ffxiv even if one did character#customization a long time ago and we got em into playing. n the other is about to soon hopefully but otherwise hm i forgot prior to that#THOUGH THOSE TWO. may not have been into ffxiv but DRAKENIER! and those two knew gbf for a while but apparently it was ultimately me/twin#who got em into it finally as far as i'm concerned!! the other is interested too hehe so that all means a lot to me!!#i think it's really funny that. me and lune w em. it's all just a group of 3 EHWHDKJS. altho 2 do know each other#and tbh thx to twt they all might know each other to some extent bcs of my interactions :O ? hmm. just a tad bit tho!#yeah and so the last one... i can see how similar we are but also how we differ and it is very interesting !!!#fun fact the three all like stuff similar to milgram ig ?? two actually do but the other doesnt but hopefully soon but they do like deco*27#yeah ...... !! so anyways yeah it's rlly nice w the last one too bcs it feels like i can really talk to em abt stuff?#i dont really do so often yet but i'd def be comfy w doing so i think. NOT THAT I AM NOT W THE OTHER TWO but it's a lil more ?? !!#i lov that all my closest friends though are into music and video games!! the way that it is differs for us all and that is beautiful tbh#OH. right. i almost forgot i am so sorry#the 4th person i didnt reallt meet this year but we did got closer this year. !!! from xiv#from all of em i actually reallt did just meet them by yk. in game! no similarities were known and it was kinda nice just getting to know
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