#otherwise Greg might have assumed | Explore Tumblr posts and blogs

amphiptere-art · 5 months ago

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So. I'm going to go over every single collectible in security breach. And see if there's any sort of theorizing I can get out of their locations.

Now I will note. Some of these locations might have no meaning. It was just kind of roll the dice. But I'm pulling everything I can from the locations anyways. So don't take any of it to heart. I'm also not going to discuss quest items. Because those ones are definitely purposely placed for certain reasons. Also I'm not discussing the items much more than the basics. I'm not theorizing what they are. I'm theorizing where they are.

Now. Onwards with the list.

Starting with the upgrades, since they probably don't mean much.

Flashlight upgrade 1. Is found in the daycare. Which probably very basically correlates to the daycare having the light shifting mechanic.

Flashlight upgrade 2. Is found in the rehearsal room. Particularly in a side room. Not sure what the correlate here. Other than the fact that the rehearsal room is near the backstage. So might have been better to have a flashlight on hand if you had to go back there.

Flashlight upgrade 3. Is found in this little server room (?) in Gator golf. Now this one's a little bit more interesting. Because where it's found is not exactly a security office. But some sort of servers office. I'm not sure what they're doing in there. But it definitely looks like a server room of some sort. It's nice and foggy and so a flashlight is nicer to have. And definitely sort of lens to the technology equals more technology thought process. But at this point I'm going to theorize more about the room than the actual placement of the object.

Freddy upgrade 1. Is located on a random serving table. Not much to say here. It's on a random serving table. It's near the first place Freddy sends you on a quest in The atrium. But otherwise it's not really that special.

Freddy upgrade 2. Is found in a small storage room attached to the Roxy raceway garages. This one's much more interesting. The garage definitely has more technological parts. But why it would have a robot part specifically is beyond me. I have a feeling whatever that upgrade is. Isn't exactly Freddy made.

Chica fizzy faz. This is found in a small break room behind what I assume is the ticket booths, and next to that weird side entrance. This is of course found in a break room. It makes sense that there would be food there. Although I could speculate that one of the ticket masters likes their chica fizz.

Freddy fizzy Faz. This is found in this control room close to the mail room office, And seemingly overlooking some vats. This room is smoking. It looks like something went through and broke something. Did somebody spill their soda? Perhaps. I can't really correlate much further. Other than assumingly somebody spilled their soda and damaged the room.

Monty fizzy Faz. This is found behind the food concessions counter in El chips. Again this is just an scenario where it's not entirely unexpected to have soda. Especially in a concessions stand. Perhaps someone was trying to steal a drink that they shouldn't. But it's just an area item.

Roxy fizzy Faz. This is found up a scaffolding staircase behind the go-kart that needs repair. Well this one's a little random. It's at the tippy top of a bunch of scaffolding. The area of course makes sense for the type of soda offered. But why is it all the way up there? I'm assuming some sort of employee was slacking off. Having a quick drink.

Shoes. This can be found in a small assumingly employing a bathroom in the back. This is one of the spicier upgrades. Interesting because it's clothing. Somebody legit left their shoes in the bathroom. The employee bathroom no less. What in heaven's name who are they doing taking off their shoes in the bathroom. Especially at Freddy Fazbear's bathroom. One that doesn't need to be cleaned as much because it's not utilized by customers. Somebody left their post shoeless. And apparently has to be somebody small since Gregory can fit in those shoes. Otherwise he's wearing a dope size shoes on his little feet. This one definitely feels like a slapped somewhere upgrade. Because the thought process behind it is hilarious and doesn't make sense.

Hoodie. This can be found in the bathrooms next to chica's bakery. The wiki says staff bathroom. But I'm not sure on that. Either way. This is another scenario where some customer or employee left their fucking clothes behind. What is with people even their clothes behind in this industry. Especially in bathrooms! At least a hoodie makes a little bit more sense. I know it's not entirely uncommon to have some sort of thin undershirt on. I don't personally do it, And imagining somebody walking out without a shirt on is hilarious. But it might just be a case of somebody taking off their jacket to have more comfort while they do their business. And just sort of forgetting about it when they leave.

And I think that's all the upgrades. Onwards to items! Which I can hopefully pull a lot more off of.

Pizza Plex logo shirt. This can be found behind all the spooky cutouts in Rockstar row. Now most of these clothing collectibles are on hangers. So I'm going to assume they're legit merchandise. Which ah. What are you doing there? What customer threw there newly bought Freddy fazbear shirt behind a bunch of cutouts? But attempting to ignore the logistics. This is the logo shirt. Not connected to anyone specifically, And is hell behind a bunch of spooky cutouts. Most of these coming from fall fest. I do believe Fall fest is something steel wool made up themselves. Filling in the future and past in their own way. This might just be a sharing of that union. The fact that Fall fest is old and pizza plex is new.

Monty name shirt. Which can be found in the staff room behind the cutout offering a free photo pass. Now this one actually has a name connected. Ohhh. Assumingly an employee bought this. But other than that. This might be building into the whole idea of Monty wanting to take Freddy's place. You get a photo past, And in the room next to it is something referencing Monty. He might want his photo taken? Either that or pure coincidence.

Foxy plush. If you go to the end of the larger utility tunnels. The place where all those staff bots are wondering what to do with their broken friend. Turn around, and look in the boxes. And there's a foxy there. It's an interesting placement. There isn't a lot of non Pizza Plex characters that you can collect. And while I won't necessarily say the older plushies are rare. They do show up less often. So the fact that we have a foxy in the utility tunnels is strange. Clearly the remnants of foxy are holding even in this version of the game. He should have been there. But he's left down in the darkness. The utilities tunnels hold a lot of old stuff. So perhaps there was indeed a thought for a marketing campaign. But it never went through.

Chica pinata. It's outside of a security office. Particularly in the first one where Chica roams. This could just be a simple correlation that this is where Chica likes to hang. Pinatas are always fun. But there's not much to pull out of what you do with a pinata with where this one is located. I ain't beating Chica up nor getting candy. It's just specifically chica. And sure, It might be in a strange place. But it's not exactly unbelievable That certain merchandise would be held in the back. There seems to be a lot of random items everywhere honestly.

Chica name shirt. This can be found underneath a ladder near all the construction around the elevator in the atrium. This might be another correlation thing. Chica is roaming the atrium stairwell. But otherwise it's another interesting placement or merchandise. I feel like if you just bought a shirt. Employee or not. You don't want to get it near construction. It's going to ruin it! Although you can clearly see there's some sort of effort to protect it. Even if it is by flimsy ladder. Another question of why is it there. Otherwise it's probably just correlated to chica being around again.

Chica plush. Is in the kitchens around the fazpad. This is another chicken! More to add on to the bundle that this is just here because chica's around. This one is in the kitchen though. Again a weird place for you to put your fluffy companion. But honestly if we're thinking symbiotically. That does kind of fit. This plush is going to get gross. It's in a place it shouldn't be. This little chicken shouldn't be near the food. It's not going to end up well for them.

Freddy name shirt. Located in the men's bathroom near the daycare. Particularly the moon bathroom. We have two characters here that we can correlate. Oh fun. A lot of these merchandise have a lot of questions on why they're in certain places. And I'm going to stop questioning it unless I find something funny about the scenario. But we have a Freddy name with a moon. Freddy seems to take the daycare attendant as some sort of strange guy. Not a friend. Doesn't necessarily want to call them a foe. But doesn't trust them either way. Why are these two being correlated? This might be getting into headcanon territory. But I enjoy soft moon. So perhaps this is just suggesting that Freddie and Moon weren't that different in personality once. It's specifically the Freddy name in a moon bathroom. I don't think this is actually Freddy interacting with the daycare attendant. But his name was probably brought up around them. For one reason or another.

Sun plush. This can be found up top in the fountain near the daycare. This might be just another correlating a certain place with a certain character. The daycare is Sun's domain. But why in the fountain? Wow this might be a question for silly questions. Seriously. Why water? There's clearly some theming jumbling happening around the daycare. For some reason it's part beach part castle. Two things that you don't necessarily correlate. Is our Sunny plush all wet because he somehow in a beach when he shouldn't be? Or is it simply strengthening the bond between this strange theming and the daycare attendants. I'll leave that up to you guys to decide.

Old poster (bear eating pizza). This can be found in the back of the lucky stars gift shop. Now this one's a fun one to theorize about the item. But we ain't talking about that. Why is it specifically in the daycare? The daycare has a lot of specific on brand locations. It is the only gift shop that is uniquely named. And it has this poster correlating far back to the past. Perhaps it's simply here to symbolize that the daycare is unique. Perhaps to symbolize that the daycare has more to do with old than the new. Or perhaps it's just random placement.

Monty pinata. Inside of the party check-in desk. Or as I like to call it. The weird gazebo in the atrium. This might be another correlation thing. Monty does stand on top of this thing at some point. Gigamonty behold. But otherwise again. Not that much to correlate with the fact that it's a pinata. The atrium Is a place where all animatronics can from freely. There's not much too correlate other than the fact that Monty stands on this thing.

Golden Chica. Found inside of the large staff meeting room in the kitchen. Ooh we have our first golden. Specifically in a room where perhaps a tragedy took place. This is the large staff meeting room near the kitchens. Where that mandated staff meeting that resulted in the pink slip happened. Now we still don't know what happened in this room. The juicy theory Is that all the people in there were killed. The less juicy one is that they were all just let off. Either way. It's interesting that it's chica in here. The juicy theory usually just says that the staff bots probably came in there and ruined everybody. But what if it was chica? A lot of chica stuff appear where she roams. And while the entirety of the kitchens is a fun place. This is the staff meeting room. Chica might have been there during whatever happened. Perhaps it was less of the staff bots doing it and more a hungry chicken. Or Maybe she just came in later. Catching a little snack.

Star shirt. Located in one of the changing rooms in that little section bridging the docks to the laundry room. Now this one doesn't have no name and nothing else to correlate. Somebody was probably just changing. Simple as that. They got a shirt they liked and they wanted to try it on. Now why they left it there is another mystery for the gods of merchandise misplacement. But the story is a lot more small and contained.

Freddy magnet. Which can be found in the "mail office" that you enter before you cross the kitchen cat walks to the security office. This placement is funny. Freddy can't come up here. There's not a lot to correlate Freddy and the mail office. If it's even a mail office. Looks like a standard business office to me. So the only question we can offer. Is why is it here? Ha. I'm assuming it was just a magnet to stick onto their computer or maybe whiteboard over there. More of a utility item than anything.

Glam Roxy plush. Which can be found in a side room in the laundry room. This one is a tad strange. Particularly you can find this plush in a room next to some little wet floor sign bots, and a completely frozen staff bot. Who are these three bots? Why do they have a Roxanne plush? Why particularly in the laundry room? There's a lot of whys. And not a lot of answers. Roxanne does not seem like the one to go into the laundry room. In fact it's Chica that goes down there. Stuff bots are... To put it simply, lifeless. They're interests are strange. And usually pertain to programming. It almost feels like these guys are 'put away'. With how Frozen that one staff bot is. I'm assuming they're in some sort of temporary storage or something. Why do they have a Roxanne plush? Hell have I know. Maybe those wet floor sign box like the wolf a lot more than she realizes.

Old poster 2 (Bunny with ice cream). This can be found in that big storage room next to the laundry room. Another old poster! Unfortunately. This one is less fun. It's in the laundry room. The storage room in the laundry room. There is a little bit of significance. Particularly in the fact that this storage room does connect to that weird room sticky note room. But Probably when you first get this it's going to the laundry room. It's strange to say the least. Since I can't pull much from the laundry room correlation. Let's focus on that sticky note room. This is the gold Bonnie poster. The sticky note room does have quite a bit of Afton parallels. And I'm assuming it's sort of coming out of that room to Afton or something. Again it's a strange placement. I'm sort of stretching it with the first poster. I'm probably stretching it with this one.

Chica balloon. This can be found in the girls bathroom in the East Arcade / Superstar arcade. Chica has a lot of stuff that correlates to her face and not much else. Another random bathroom with a random thing. This bathroom is bathed in pink. It's clearly based off of the chicken. Now it is in the arcade! So perhaps we could pull that she likes to play games. But otherwise I'm really pushing it. This poor chicken really doesn't have a lot of stuff around her does she?

Monty mask. This can be found around the prize counter across from the counter full of Sun stuff. An interesting mask. Which is another thing for another day. But it's funny. Most guides like to reference That it's between some Monty plushies. But for me I find it interesting that it's across from all the sun plushs. Glitter golf behold. It is one of those merchandise that is in the right place. Congratulations! Otherwise there's not really much. It actually is kind of a downer that it is in its place. I don't even know if Monty comes up there. Other than the feelings of glitter golf. It's just merchandise where merchandise should be. Although we could always quiz ourselves about why it's a mask.

Frozen Freddy treat. Located behind a desk up in the area around the skylight. Yes, Let's gather our depressing little Freddy on a stick. This placement is also a little hard to pull things from. Not only is it one of the nonsensical collectibles. But the only thing I can correlate is the fact that it is specifically the frozen Freddy treat. And that we are up near the fire escape. Which doesn't have the frozen Freddy treat in its cutscene. But at that point I'm just talking about the treat. Which is not the point of this discussion. It's up near the fire escape. That's the only correlation I can give. And what exactly that means is lost to me.

Roxy balloon. This can be found in a storage container up in the small maze before you actually reach Roxy raceway. This feels like another item simply correlating to an animatronics roaming place then anything else. It's starting to become commonplace with these balloons and pinatas. I'm assuming this is supposed to be the lesser collectibles of some sort. Since they are usually just correlated with where a character is and nothing else. There's always the question of why is a balloon in a storage container. But that's a question for every item.

Roxy mask. Can be found on the top of a bunch of stop holdings stairs where Freddy is found broken. Another item that simply might just be around because the characters close. It is another object on top of scaffolding though. Which I find interesting. I know it's technically a thing that Roxy raceway is having repairs. But it's just interesting that they are appeared on top of the stairs twice. Perhaps she's so used to climbing upstairs to sit on the winter plaque.

Frozen Roxy treat. Sneakily hidden around the corner behind some generators, Also in the place where Freddy is broken down. Again there's nothing more to say. It's simply a symbol of a character and a place where the character is known to exist. I'm probably going to stop mentioning these and such regard if I can't figure out anything. At least until I can say something funny.

Roxy name shirt. Can be found near a dining area near the stage in the atrium, closest to Monty golf. Usually I can pull something more out of these clothes. And while it is interesting that this is exclusively in a place Roxy isn't. It's also in a place where all the animatronics are. It's near the stage in monty golf tho. And while the stage is obvious. Perhaps we could pull something out of Monty golf. Did you seem to have a similar level of sass. Although Roxy is definitely more tame. Perhaps it inclines a friendship though. Closer than we thought.

Nightmare plush. Can be found in a night time themed daycare room in the warehouse maze. Now this one's tasty. Not only is it another plushie That is not glam rock centered. But it's nightmare Marinette. Never seen or even thought of anywhere in the Plex. Except for its little bitty eyes being hidden nearly everywhere. Everyone knows there's something going on with the nightmare plushies. Being able to collect one just doubles that. But this is about locations. This is found in the warehouse section of the game. Particularly. Warehouse daycare maze as I call it. Which brings me to the fact. It's in a daycare room. The fact that the warehouse has a whole bunch of daycare rooms is already strange. The fact that the warehouse has a bunch of moon merch is double strange. The fact that for the most part. This maze seems to be themed off of the day, except for this one room where this nightmare plush is found. Is super strange. It is very specific. Not only do you layer the creepiness of the endos with the strangeness of the daycare centered around the endos. But you have a nice nightmare plus and the only night time themed room. While it still might be questionable if the daycare attendant has anything to do with the warehouse. I like to think there's some sort of connection between the nightmare plush and the daycare attendant. Particularly Moon of course. Seeing that it's found in the night time room. Either that or it's just a creepy Easter egg in a creepy place.

Glam Roxy figure. Can be found in the parts and service room, in one of the side rooms if you walk through the broken glass in another side room. This one is interesting, But not exactly tasty. Mostly cuz I don't understand it. You find this figure in one of these little side rooms. What these side rooms are for I have no idea. I assume they are secure rooms or quiet rooms for employees to work on that animatronics or other things. The room that you walk through in order to get this. Is walking through a broken smashed window because the door to the room is boarded up. What the hell smash that window. Roxy? I feel like she would freak out about her nails getting harmed. By the placement it would suggest that this figurine correlates to whoever smashed that window. But why Roxy? I could understand Monty. But Roxy? Sure she has attitude problems but not punching problems. It's an interesting side to her character if that's what it's supposed to mean. That she is apparently so angry at parts and service people. Or perhaps fearful. That she is willing to smash a window.

El chip pinata. Found in one of the backstage rooms. Particularly the first one if you're following the intended path. Who is most of these pinatas. Not much to say. It's good that El Chip got some spotlight. But unfortunately he seems to be in the back. Barely important.

Glam Chica figure. Can be found in one of the rooms in the backstage. This one perhaps the second room you would find going the intended path. Now we have a glam figure! And it's in the back. Not exactly the most connections to be made. Especially since it's not in the kitchen for some reason. But the room is interesting. The prizes surrounded by a bunch of CDs. With of course some cutouts scattered around. These ones of the foxy ride. Although I'm not sure how to make any connections here. Perhaps Chica likes CDs? She does seem to be one in the band that actually enjoys her music. So perhaps she enjoys CDs and that's why there's such a collection there.

Four block shirt. This can be found in the room behind Roxy's green room that leads to her elevator. Usually there's something I could say about the rooms and shirts. But this is just a blank shirt. A classic design sure. But there's not much to connect without a name or a face. Although it is curious that she even has a shirt. Given ruin, Perhaps it's one of her favorite kids shirts. And she's waiting for them to come back and grab it. Either that or maybe she likes to classics. I could imagine her in this shirt.

Golden Freddy. This can be found in Monty's room beside the arcade machine. Now this is a golden! A character interaction too! There's already quite a bit of hints here and there that Monty wants to take over Freddy. Or at least sees him as a rival. But that doesn't necessarily mean him keeping a plushie as some sort of... Punching bag. Although I won't deny that might be it. But it might be some sort of talk buddy. Idk. There isn't a lot of good things between Freddy and Monty that I can point out. But it's interesting that he has one. A golden one too. Which means This interaction is important. Even if it is strange.

Chica mask. Can be found in a back room in chica's green room that leads to her elevator. And this is also and unfortunate circumstance of be specific collectible being correlated to a specific character. It's chica and this is chica's room. While I could say it was interesting that Roxy had a unique shirt that meant nothing to her. This one is less interesting. Sure it's another, why does the animatronic have merch. If I doubt it's more than chica chica.

Pinata. This is behind the pizza counter in the main atrium. Now this pinata is actually interesting looking. It's more standard pinata with glam rock Freddy on the front, instead of a specific character pinata. Although I'm sure alts of this exists for each character. But it's behind a concession stand. It's a little bit of a weird placement. Sure these gifts are in party boxes. But trying to imagine a physically placed pinata in the back of a concession stand is a bit strange. But that's another question for the gods of why merchandise here.

Freddy pinata. This can be found at the concession stand near the entrance of fazer blast. Another pinata another simple explanation. Fazer blast is definitely a Freddy attraction. So of course he's got to have the standard merch around his attraction.

Space Freddy keychain. Can be found near the ride controls for the mini spaceship ride in front of Fazer blast. And again. Another object explained simply. I hate it when we run across these things but that's just a simple facts. There are lesser collectibles.

Space Chica keychain. Can be found in the men's bathroom in Fazer blast. Well this is new. But it's still themed. This is the space chica. So it makes sense that it's in Fazer blast. But it's interesting that it's in the men's bathroom, and is chica. Perhaps chica enjoyed enjoyed the laser game as much as anyone else. Although.. It's in the men's bathroom. Which probably means some guy carried that in there. Either that or chica's trans.

Space Roxy keychain. Can be found in these staff bathroom in Fazer blast. I think I'm seeing a theme here. The space versions of these characters seem to be found inside of the laser place. Although I will also add on that it means Roxy probably enjoyed it also. It's in the security bathroom. Which while it could be interesting. Bathrooms are unfortunately the holy place to put a lot of random items. Plus there multi-gender. So I'm not going to be questioning who was carrying around what merch.

Freddy balloon. Can be found inside of the instruction room when you go to play fazer blast. Another balloon another disappointment. Simply a character for an area. I'm assuming some poor kid had to leave his balloon in there. And he just never got it back.

Old poster 3 (Fred bears singing the show) can be found in a hidden room in fazer blast behind one of the flags. These posters are always interesting. But this one by far is the most boring. You find it in a hidden room in That has a whole bunch of the space glam characters cutouts. The room feels important. But it's just so barren. There's a lot of things that happen in fazer blast. So I won't deny that the area itself is important. But how a connects to the poster other than the fact that it's a Freddy on Freddy. I am lost. It might just be a secret room that was tacked on in an important area, Just to make it feel important.

Bonnie plush. Can be found in between one of the stairwells and a bowling rack in Bonnie bowl. Now of course we have poor old Bonnie and his bowling. This thing is pretty out in the open if we're ignoring the fact that it's almost hidden between two objects. What's interesting Is that it's a standard Bonnie? This doesn't seem glam specific. Perhaps I could stretch that they didn't properly have a glam rock body design. But it doesn't even necessarily match the Bonnie bowling sign itself. Which I will admit is quite barren. It's just interesting that it's this standard plush. It's definitely not built like any of the other Glam Rock plushes. While the Plex does sell old plushes. The fact that it's old intrigues me. Either there saying that Bonnie was out of date, or perhaps the sadness of some children not being able to get a glam rock Bonnie plush. Going for the next best thing. Either way. Put on your note words that glam rock Bonnie does not have a proper plush.

Golden Monty plush. Can be found behind in a area behind the food stand down a long stairwell. Another Golden plushie! And unfortunately another tack on the Monty killed Bonnie roster. Other than it's very hidden placement. This prize box is also surrounded by bowling balls. A nightmare marionette plush is looming on top of a stack of boxes. This scene is very very intriguing. It was actually this plush That pushed me over the edge that I might want to mention these prize box placements in the first place. We have this ominous plushie entity watching over a hidden Monty surrounded by bowling balls. Each one is one of the characters bowling balls by the way. Mom do you surrounded by his companions as bowling balls. Hiding away. What this could all mean is a bit lost to me. The simplest point is that Monty is hiding with a bunch of bowling balls after whatever happened to Bonnie. His friends are all bowling balls. Which my either suggest that he doesn't really see them as anything but objects. Or perhaps he sees them as companions or reminders. And that's not to mention that the nightmare plush is watching over all of this. Particularly facing the stairwell. Perhaps the nightmare plush entity did something to Monty? Or perhaps they might be the only one that knows what he did. Either way. It's an interesting assortment of assets around a unique prize. And while the simplest answer is that it's more evidence against Monty. I wonder what it truly means.

Freddy face t-shirt. Can be found on a conveyor belt on the upper layer of the kitchen back rooms. We have a specific character shirt. Usually we can get something out of this. Although it's an interesting place. The top part of the kitchen. It's not completely impossible that Freddy might have stumbled back here on a normal basis. It isn't the deeper kitchen. But I like to think that maybe Freddy was coming down here to stop the chicken. After all he is a goody two shoes. But is lenient in his rules. Otherwise it's another merchandise in a strange place.

Old poster 4 (call Freddy's). Can be found in the sticky note room on the table surrounded by uniquely looking staff bots. Now this one is a doozy. A special room surrounded by a special thing and is a special item??? If only this hadn't been covered to death. There's not much more I can say that every other theorist you've ever watched hasn't. This room is special in the fact that it seems to be somebody figuring out how to be a somebody. This table is clearly mimicking the Afton family to some accord. But. I suppose I can talk about the connections to the poster. Let's ignore the fact that this room is unique with it sticky notes. And just think about the fact that if this is supposed to be a representation of the affton family surrounding a table. Why Do they have a poster telling you to call Freddy's? Were they planning to call Freddy's? Usually people keep these types of posters either as memorabilia or because you actually need the number. And usually during those times you had to write it down or you took the poster. But why would this mock acting family be calling Freddy Fazbear's if the family owned Freddy Fazbear's? Unless perhaps they didn't? There's a whole bunch of theories about who started who and how the business got into business. But perhaps we could simply take this as proof that Afton got into business at some point instead of making it. Other than memorabilia, he has no reason to have a poster like this. He's not going to call Freddy's if he owns it. He's the direct line. Either that or this is sticky note person in their deranged way trying to figure out how to contact Freddy's. Perhaps this is the only proof they had of Freddy's. Perhaps sticky note person wanted to contact Freddy's. And this is the only thing that could find that had their number. Either way. The connection is interesting. You can talk about the room all you want. You can talk about the staff bots at the table all you want. You can talk about the time of the poster. But taking them all together gained some interesting results.

Comedy mask. Can be found inside of the utility tunnels, in a room with a bunch of baby plushies. Now this one is an interesting mask. And it's placement is interesting. But it's also an Easter egg. So take that information as you will. The comedy mask is in a room with a bunch of baby dolls. Particularly mimicking The hide and seek mini game from help wanted DLC. Now while I must question if this means that those mini games happened inside of a Plex. Which would probably end up with a whole bunch of questions. Let's just focus on what the comedy mask means with the little babies. Well. It could just literally be that the little babies think the entire scenario with what they do is comical. They find it funny. They find it funny that they run around and mess up stuff. Which I could legit see. It could also mean that the game creators thought this was the most comical mini game to Easter egg with. Either way it's probably remarking about their little giggles.

Frozen Monty treat. Can be found behind some grass cutouts in front of Monty golf. Another named treat for another themed area. There isn't even anything special about the cutouts that are hiding it.

Glam Monty figure. Can be found behind a whole bunch of character cutouts in front of Monty golf. Now while this is probably just another name the collectible for a themed area. This one actually has some characters on the cutouts. Now it is the general cutouts. The whole gang is there in there monty golf cut out form. So there's not much to say. But this could just mean that Monty and the others did have a good relationship. Or at least he wasn't completely alienated from all of them. Otherwise it's just just a sad simple collectible.

Tragedy mask. Can be found in the Little House, in the ball pit, in Monty golf. Now this one is interesting. Tragedy mask in the ball pit house. Now this whole area is seemingly themed around Monty's home. Which is a big swamp. Whether or not this home was a Monty's or the RV you can see in the golf course. It's interesting to think that perhaps a tragedy happened there. Some sort of tragedy happened in Monty's swamp. Or perhaps too Monty. Now of course somebody's going to be bitching about the fact that the tragedy mask looks like sun and moon. So perhaps a tragedy happened between the two. Perhaps monty caused a tragedy to the daycare attendant. Perhaps the daycare attendant caused a tragedy to Monty. Either way some tragedy happened.

Go-kart. Found in the trailer home in Monty golf. Now this one is just strange. It's a whole fucking go-kart. How the hell did a go-kart get in Monty golf? No you might be telling me to suspend my belief. It's probably some sort of action figure. But I feel like I would have the word action or figure somewhere. Why the fuck is there a whole golf cart in the trailer?! This definitely feels like an out of place collectible. Either way it displays something curious. Roxanne Wolf is shown to not exactly like golf. At least in the marketing. Which while can never be trusted. And while we can all question if this golf cart is a full size version or small size. The fact that they're even is a golf cart might have showed a rivalry or a companionship. The golf cart isn't wrecked or anything. In fact it might even be the Monty version golf cart. So it could be thematic. Or Monty could have stolen a golf cart. Or perhaps Monty has a golf cart as a gift. Either way it shows some sort of connection. Whether you take that connection as bad or good I suppose depends on how you view Roxy's and Monty's relationship.

Baby plush. This is found inside of one of the party rooms in the daycare. Now baby plushes are interesting. First of all not a glam rock branded plush. I don't even know if you can find baby plushies in the normal shops. Very unique. So why would a baby plush be found inside of a party room next to the daycare?... Well I'm not quite sure. There's two types of characters that can come with the baby plush. Baby herself. Or the baby plush. Those little suckers seem to have a mind of their own. One full of gremlin. Now the themes does make a little bit sense. A clown and a jester. I can see it. I can also see the party room. While it isn't exactly explained what baby did a party room does seem all right. They were rentable animatronics, and parties are what you usually rent out things for. But connecting baby and the daycare attendant is a little tough. Other than themes, They don't really seem similar. But I must put down that there might be a connection between the two anyways. I mean there is technically a Moon Doll jumpscare in the files and I think in help wanted 2. So perhaps it's just a connection that moon has his own gremlin doll army.

Glam Freddy figure. Which can also be found in a party room in the daycare. Oh look, connections I can make. There is a Freddy in the daycare. Now through Freddy's dialogue. He does seem to... Alienate the daycare attendant. Either he's scared of them, doesn't know them, or hates them. Although I feel like I'm going to butt off the hate one just because Freddy is a sweetheart. Either way the fact that there is a glam rock figure in the daycare. If we ignore the fact that it's in a party room. Means at Freddy probably had some connection with the daycare attendant before it went sour. Freddy must have known them to some degree. What happened? Was it the creepy moon? Something sun did? Why does two characters that seem to be very alienated from each other have a connection with a party gift collectible. Now I might be theorizing too much for what seems to be a mid-level collectible, And of course a collectible. But interesting to think of nonetheless.

Freddy mask. Behind the theater concession stand, in its kitchen. This is another connection between Freddy and the daycare attendant. I already sort of went through it with the Glam Freddy figure. But why are there these connections? You might say it doesn't entirely count because it is in the theater. Which I will agree with. But I just want to point it out again. Otherwise looking at the theater... Looking at the theater... Oh God what's important about the theater? Uhhhhhhhhhhh. The endo photo booth? The photo booth. Let's just think about the photo booth. Which yes. There seems to be this sort of private tour photo booth area down there. And also a general makeup area. Freddy definitely went down there to get spiced up for some personal acts. Or at least went down there to get glammed up before coming up.

Frozen chica treat. Can be found inside of the daycare theater in the little kid area. This is one of the lower level collectibles, But I shall still point out the significance of it in the theater. It appears Chica went down to the theater as much as Freddy did. Perhaps she even hanged out with the kids more often. Either that or this is a terrible thing for an employee to have to clean up after hours.

Golden Moon. Can be found in the daycare attendants room. Now this is a lovely golden plus and a lovely secret area. But there's not much more to the secret of who lives in this room. Is it interesting that it's moon specifically. Sure. The connection between sun and moon is a bit confusing. Are they the same character? Are they two characters in the same body? Are they one character that became too? It is unclear. But Moon might hang out in the room more often than sun does. Not only can he not exactly be out when the lights are on. And the daycare attendant room might have its own separate switch. Moon does seem more shy. Either way it's a nice secret for a golden plush.

Golden Sun. Can be found in the lighthouse Tower in kidcove. Now while the moon plush was sort of explanatory with where it is in the daycare. This one is less so. Why is sun in the lighthouse Tower? The connection between kid cove, foxy, The daycare, and the daycare attendants is fairly strange. No one's quite sure who came first, And whose themeing overrules the other. But there seems to definitely be a connection between the daycare attendant and kid cove. This plush is found in a secret area of kids cove. Foxy's lighthouse. This foxy is specifically seemingly a lighthouse keeper. Meaning that perhaps sun knows that this lighthouse is either his predecessors or just his. That he's supposed to come out here. That no matter the connection this is his home in some way. Whatever way I guess depends on your head cannon.

Moon plush. Can be found in the ship in kids cove. And again. Another connection between kids cove and the daycare. Sun and Moon are definitely supposed to be interacting with kids cove more than they are. Now I will point out that the ship does seem to be some sort of secret area. Somebody was chilling in here. There seems to be a blanket or mattress of shirts. There's a TV and endless snacks. This area is a hangout place. This hang out in place might specifically be moons. He steers the ship while Sun man's the lighthouse. Now sun in the lighthouse is a tad more important because of the golden status. But these two are definitely supposed to be more connected to kids cove then is let on. This is not just foxy's home.

Golden Roxy. Can be found in a Monty gate room on the stairwell into the utility doors. Now at first this plush seems rather boring. Yes it's a secret room for special access. But the entire room is barren. It is this giant circular room with nothing else inside but this plush and a couple of random boxes. But there's actually an interesting secret. There are some cut hallways in this area. Particularly these cut hallways seem to lead to some sort of go-kart storage or repair area. Now these are cut. But perhaps this plush was put in here before they were cut. So while it seems there is no connection. There was a connection between this go-kart storage / repair area and Golden Roxy. Perhaps Roxy is more concerned about her damaged carts then she lets on.

Sun figure. Can be found in a strange room in the utility channels that has a projector and roots / trees. This is another Easter egg room. Particularly I think help wanted DLC. But I do want to point out something interesting. In help wanted 2, The DCA is quite a figure. And this might show that that idea has been around for much longer. It wasn't just the fans. Now I will also add. This is a specific connection to the DLC. Which seems to be based around Fall fest. So the daycare attendant might have been attached to Fall fest in some way or fashion.

Moon figure. This can be found inside a unique conveyor belt room down in the utility tunnels. This is another Easter egg room with the DCAs again. Might I point the button again about these guys being considered for VR far before they became a fan favorite. But this is also referencing the mangle construction saying that was in the DLC. Another button for the Fall fest DLC considerations. But the mangle part? Why would moon be hanging out with mangle? Or at least be correlated with being taken apart. It's an interesting connection that might not matter because of the Easter egg nature. But perhaps Moon has more fun with take apart and put back together then what is let on.

Glam Freddy plush. Can be found in a Monty breakable door, in the hallway where Monty chases you, down in the utility channels. This is another connection between Monty and that lovable bear. And while the specifics of the connection are up in the air for your own head cannons. It is simply another tick on the board.

Chica magnet. Can be found in one of the karaoke rooms up in DJ's arcade. Chica is on the upper floors of the arcade. So it's not necessarily unexpected that a little thing with her name on it is around. Poor chica getting the short stick. Although it is specifically in a karaoke room. Perhaps Chica uses her voice elsewhere. And she also might have a bit more fun with the DJ. This is one of her own the items that isn't shoved in a kitchen. So perhaps it shows that she was a friend of the DJ and enjoyed doing karaoke. I think that Chica needs some fun and connections in other places.

Monty magnet. Can be found inside of chica's bakery on a tipped over ATM machine. This one is another silly connection. Monty and chica. Monty might have been better friends with Chica than what is lead on. Either that or he's as much of a snacker as she is. Either way and the connection is interesting. Plus I'm pretty sure chica's bakery is just on top of Monty's attraction. So the closeness does makes sense.

Roxy pinata. Can be found in this little observatory area, inside of the Roxy raceway salon. This is just another item correlating to a character's area. Although I do like to imagine that this pinata was looking out towards in progress raceway.

Space Monty keychain. This can be found in the back of that little registry concession stand in Roxy raceway. Particularly in the back. This is an interesting character connection. Most of these space keychains were found in fazer blast. It kind of suggested that almost all of the animatronics enjoyed Freddy and his fazer blast. But it looks like Monty would have rather gone to Roxy raceway. An interesting friendship between the two and definitely a separation between Freddy and Monty. Perhaps those connections really are unfriendly.

Monty balloon. Can be found inside of a staff break rooms / office. This is another tick that Monty and Roxy might have a better relationship with each other. These lesser collectibles usually don't have much to say about them. But these are some interesting correlations.

Roxy magnet. This is up on some sort of stage in the Roxy salon. While this probably is just a face for a area. I do like the fact that this seems to be on some sort of stage. Hey either an area where Roxy does your makeup, or perhaps you watch Roxy. I like to think that this magnet is probably some sort of prize. Not the greatest prize but it feels like that's what it's supposed to be.

Freddy icon shirt. This can be found next to a storage crate in the backstage area. While something with a specific character's name is usually to be celebrated. Especially when it's not in a specific area. Much like the theater. This is a very much not specific area. I can't even correlate it to the daycare or something. This is literally the backstage. And while this is a place for Roxanne does wander. I think it's less so about connections and more random character placement. So I can't really think of any connections other than Freddy going backstage.

Monty plush. This little guy is found underneath one of the stairwells, in some crates, in the arcade. Again this is sort of a face for a wandering area. But much like the chica magnet It also shows a connection for Monty and the DJ. Perhaps Monty and DJ are close friends. Or at least Monty enjoys the arcade. With it being a full-on plush I feel like it's a bit more important. But it's an interesting connection on the less between the arcade, DJ, and Monty. Although given the semi-hidden nature of it. Perhaps Monty doesn't necessarily want it to be seen as a connection.

Cupcake piñata. You can find this in the ticket booth, in the atrium, behind lost and found. It's the first sighting of the cupcake! It's probably unfortunately in a similar situation to E-chip. At least he's being shown off as an entity. But there isn't much connections to even make here. It's in the atrium which is a very neutral place, in an area where is staff are present. Which again is a very neutral place. But congratulations on being seen at least somewhere.

And oh my God I think that's the end of the list. Holy shit this took three fucking days. Technically more than three days, And that was just because I had to take big long a mental breaks between it. I don't think I necessarily have the power in me anymore to go over the messages. At least those ones have been theorized about quite a bit. Although I still point my finger that they probably should look at the environments those messages are found in. There ain't no way I'm doing that to myself right now. Perhaps another time, or another year. Perhaps somebody else could do it for me.

Either way. These are some interesting connections to bring up. Like I said before it just feels like people look at these collectibles. And they don't necessarily take in where the collectibles found. The posters are always interesting but they're talking about the posters, Not where they're found. Sure some of these items are unique like the comedy and tragedy masks. But you ever wonder why they're specifically in those places? People need to look at these extra aspects. They might hold a couple more clues.

Now please do excuse me if I have a bias here and there. I have my own head cannons and they probably affected these as much as I tried to stay neutral. But either way. I hope this makes people think about stuff. We should look at these more often.

#security breach #security breach prize boxes #prize boxes #sb prize boxes #security breach collectibles #sb collectibles #fnaf sb #sb #fnaf secruity breach #fnaf sb theory #fnaf security breach theory #fnaf theory

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stripedtabbycat · 9 days ago

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today i'm finally going to tackle the real important topics: the diary of a wimpy kid timeline.

as someone who was born in 2000 i grew up with these books and read them avidly, along with my brothers and many classmates, when i was in middle school myself, although the first book was published in 2007. (i wasn't an avid poptropica user but i did find the original webcomic version on there and read through it before the fifth book came out, which meant i recognized certain jokes and plot points that got spread throughout the later books in the series.) naturally i stopped keeping up with these as i grew out of middle school and past the scholastic book fair era but working at the public library meant i still see the new ones coming in to the children's section.

currently the series is on its 19th installment (feel old yet?) the long-running nature of the series has raised many questions as to how the characters still seem to be the same age as they were at the beginning, with main character greg heffley still being a middle school student after 17 years (again: feel old yet?) author jeff kinney has provided some amusing answers to questions like these on twitter, but the simplest doylist explanation is that the series runs on what tv tropes (and probably other sources) call comic book time: characters in long-running franchises like comics will stay the same age in-universe while the exact setting of their world, unless specified otherwise, is always assumed to be the current real-world present, creating a strange floating timeline situation in which it is always perpetually "now" but nothing in-universe is acknowledged to change. (the simpsons is a good example of a non-comic book situation like this.)

however, looking at the contents of the books themselves, i think we can work out exactly what the timeline situation is within the universe of diary of a wimpy kid. remember that, while the first book covers the events of one school year, none of the other books do, and in fact seem to cover progressively shorter periods of time as they go on. there are currently 5 books in the series that begin with the start of a new school year. to make this work we must presume that greg's middle school, like mine, starts in the 5th grade and not the 6th as many assume. (there are some references in the earlier books to the fifth grade as the year before the first book started, but we'll have to ignore that.) presuming that the first book covers greg's fifth-grade school year, this means that he should have just finished the ninth grade by the most recent book (which takes place over the summer.) so it's not impossible that he could still be in middle school up to a point, but most likely he should have started high school in book 16. however, he would still not be as old as you might think for a series that's gone on this long.

also, if you presume the first book takes place in the year it was published (2007), then the series should be up to 2012 by now in its internal timeline. from what i can tell there are references in the most recent book to modern social media and the concept of "influencers", which were not really a thing yet by then, but again it's not impossible; i feel like 2012 was around the time the possibility of being a social media celebrity was starting to really take off. (but what do i know, i was 12. again: the actual explanation is the comic book time thing.)

based on my math, in the real world greg heffley would have been born in 1997 and would be 27 years old by now. feel old yet?

#diary of a wimpy kid #this is a very serious post. i'm an academic

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melonteee · 1 year ago

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If you really want to ask hard-hitting questions about the Live-Action's production, you should try to schedule an episode of the One Piece Podcast with you and Greg.

Granted, it might be good to do proper research beforehand and actually watch the rest of the show first (assuming you haven't, last I remember, you'd only seen episode 1).

Anon I can't do that because you and I both know I am very biased against it, it wouldn't be a fair interview for anyone. The interviewer definitely needs to be a middle man who is lukewarm on the live action, otherwise it's not an interview it's an attack lmao. And if it goes the other way then it's not an interview, it's just a praise event.

I have nothing against anyone involved I just know I would be very passionate and therefore aggressive in my questioning of things and no one wants to be in an interview or listen to an interview like that lmao. That and I don't think I'm good at interviewing in general.

Although the only damn question at this point I want answered is why the hell Sanji's eyebrows were removed literally no one has asked nor answered that yet LMAO

#ask #oplatalk

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tellthemeerkatsitsfine · 2 years ago

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All right, all right, all right! I’m a day late because I was out last night again, but I’m home now, let’s do this! Thoughts on Taskmaster s15e02, written as I watch it:

- I didn’t mention this last week, but Ivo Graham with a beard is unsettling. I mean, people can do what they like with their appearance and all, but that one may not be the best idea.

- Right, I haven’t seen any of the prize tasks except the first one, but if no one besides Kiell brought in anything that requires us to look at feet, then Kiell needs to win this task. I am genuinely not enjoying Kiell bringing in an excuse to have the cameras focus on both a picture of a foot and Alex’s actual foot, give him five points for achieving weirdness and make it go away.

- Greg is, annoyingly, correct to say that Mae’s object isn’t weird, it’s just your reflection that’s weird. I say “annoyingly” because Mae really eagerly trying to sell people on someone they’ve come up with is... genuinely, I’ve had crushes on Taskmaster contestants before but never to the extent that I’ve had my current problem, where I have difficulty writing about the episode without mentioning it every 5-10 sentences. I’ll try to stop.

- I am 100% behind the levels to which Ivo is taking his argument. Getting into the wording of the task – it’s supposed to be “whenever you look at it”, so needing to look at it for ten minutes like Mae’s mirror shouldn’t count. Explaining that he has practice of looking at it all the time and weirdness occurs every time, and Kiell can’t say the same because he designed the foot glove just for this task. This guy has watched all his friends play Taskmaster, studied their strategies, has his social standing riding on his performance in a way that I’m going to guess, say, Frankie Boyle, does not. This is high-level Taskmaster here, well done, Ivo. I still can’t wait to see you get bullied in the team tasks, but well done.

- Aaawwwwwww. Awwwwww. A Rhod Gilbert reference. A Rhod Gilbert reference in something that was filmed while he was receiving treatment for advanced cancer (I mean, I assume he still is, but he’s also filming TV things again and looks to be recovering, and I’m not sure that was the case as of last summer). Awwwww. Jenny’s thing doesn’t really work for the reasons Ivo pointed out, it doesn’t feel weird “every time you look at it” because that only works if you stare at it for ages, but anyway, lovely little Rhod Gilbert reference. Also, love that they’re saving Frankie Boyle for last on the ��thing that makes you feel weird” task. What have you got, Frankie?

- I knew Frankie wouldn’t let me down with this. Obviously he went historical. Yeah, medieval paintings of cats are weirder than feet. He needs to win.

- I’d have swapped Kiell and Frankie, but otherwise agree with the harsh but fair scoring. I like rewarding Ivo’s intricate arguments by giving him two more points than both the people who finished below him.

I don’t know what this means, but I’m guessing it might be that they’ve brought in a concept from Taskmaster NZ, when they had each contestant film a small part of an action movie, and then put it all together later to make one movie. Which I guess was originally a Taskmaster UK concept, from season 10 when they filmed the detective thing with each person playing a different part, and then with Richard Herring playing every part. It’s a concept I like, so I hope they are in fact going to film them each playing some music and then put it together.

Jesus Fucking Christ. Okay I’m done. I won’t bring it up anymore. I promise.

- Oh shit, Horne Section. Ohhhhh, I see. The great band that was separated wasn’t the Taskmaster contestants, playing stuff alone and then going back together. It’s the Horne Section. Cool.

- The task didn’t say anything about “most [adjective] [noun] wins”, so that means it’s a two-parter. They may still have to fit these together somehow. Also, the task said it must be “less than thirty seconds long”, which is weird, because normally Alex Horne is right with me in correcting people every time they say “less” when they should say “fewer”. You let this one slip, Horne.

- They were correct to give Frankie the percussion instruments. I like Kiell’s attitude. Ivo briefly thinking “I”, “V”, and “O” might be music notes was quite funny. Really enjoying Jenny’s unnecessarily exuberant and surprisingly low-pitched singing. Mae, do we really need to bring more feet into this episode? Have we not already had enough feet in this episode?

- I didn’t really know what to expect from Frankie Boyle on Taskmaster, but if I’d absolutely had to try to guess, I’d have pretty much said this:

- I promise this isn’t another gratuitous screenshot of how attractive Mae Martin is; I just wanted to capture the look of utter shock on their face when Alex handed them the extra card.

The sense of betrayal from Alex. The underlying disappointment in themself for not seeing this coming. The whiplash in going from relaxing because the task is over to ramping the tension right back up, 0-100 in half a second, a reminder that you have to be always on your guard in this show. There’s Taskmaster summed up in one screenshot.

- Ah, the twist is that they have to play along. It’s not really a music task, it’s an arts and crafts task! That’s fun.

- I mean, some of those instruments are easier to copy than others. Frankie probably got an unfair advantage there, the drums have to be the easiest to copy. But I don’t mind, because I want to watch Frankie Boyle play makeshift drums.

- I think they undervalued Jenny Eclair’s trumpet miming in the studio chat. That was good. I could believe that was her playing if I didn’t look too hard at the instrument. She looks like she should be dramatically playing a trumpet in a club somewhere.

- Frankie’s miming was not remotely in time to the music, but he looked like he was having so much fun out there. Someone needs to gif that. I might need to gif that later. I want a moving image of Frankie Boyle playing the drums and having a great time.

“I see your Diverse Stripes, Nish. And sure it was impressive, but you made one crucial mistake: not wearing sunglasses.”

Incredible screenshot.

- Some really interesting camera decisions in the filming of Ivo. I’m not sure I needed that under-his-legs-looking-up angle on those loose shorts. But A+ for effort on the contestant’s part, as I’ve quickly come to expect from him.

- 1) Mae Martin making a joke about “Mae-stro” and then immediately trying to take it back - “I don’t want to lose points from Mae-stro”: solid Taskmaster play, I like the level of paranoia that Taskmaster instills in its most competitive contestants. Mae Martin about to play an instrument with their foot: not ideal. Not... not something I would like on my computer screen, thank you.

- I think Mae was the best one so far at miming in time to the music. Not bad arts and crafts work either. Good attention to detail. Thankfully minimal foot involvement.

- Well, Kiell was definitely the worst at the arts and crafts potion, there have to be more accurate ways to create a facsimile keyboard than to just put a bunch of books in a row. Also, he just repeated the grammatically incorrect task over and over, causing me to have to say “fewer” at my screening increasingly annoyed voices.

On the other hand, he may win for the person who had the best time out there:

Again, I’m just really enjoying Kiell’s whole vibe. Competitive, but not as overt about it as Mae or Ivo. Getting fully into everything, to an exaggerated degree. Picking at things and not letting them go, like the thing about the musician’s age.

- Whoa. That was ridiculously generous scoring and I don’t think I see Greg’s logic with any of it, but fun task all the same.

- Yes! Team task! I’ve been looking forward to these so much.

You know, normally when I say what contestants I’d like on a team together, I just pick pairs of people and hope they’re with each other, either on their own or in three. But in this case, I really like that Frankie and Ivo are specifically the team of two. No one for Frankie to pawn off the task of interacting with Ivo on, no one for Ivo to hide behind, no one to dilute the extraordinary amounts of awkward tension that I imagine occur when you put together two people who are so very, very different.

And on the other side, obviously I’m looking forward to the clash of Charlotte Ritchie’s husbands, and to two highly competitive contestants who will hype up each other’s competitive natures all in the midst of Jenny Eclair’s cloud of chaos.

I’m writing this before seeing any of this task, just to have a record of what I’m expecting going in. Expectations are high. I think Ivo might get eaten alive.

- I always look forward to that moment in the first team task, when the contestants see their teammates for the first time. As far as those moments go, this one’s pretty good:

- Oh my God. It’s perfect. Thank you, Taskmaster, this is exactly what I wanted.

I’m trying to picture the meeting where they divided up the teams. I hope they weren’t forced to do this by schedules or whatever, I hope all the contestants had availability on all potential days, just because it’s funnier if the Taskmaster people planned this. “Guys. Guys. Let’s put the incredibly posh English private school boy with Frankie Boyle. We have to, right? We can’t waste that opportunity.” Their decision to film and edit this entrance like a horror movie makes it so clear that they knew exactly what they were doing.

I mean, these two are rivalling Joe Thomas and Sian Gibson for most awkward initial meeting. But Joe and Sian eventually settled into their own sort of weird, awkward chemistry. I feel like Frankie and Ivo can keep up this level of non-meshing, actively clashing, energies all season. At least all day, as they film the team tasks.

One of Charlotte Ritchie’s husbands standing on tip-toes to hug Charlotte Ritchie’s other husband, while the trailblazing first woman to ever win a Perrier Award looks on. Thanks, Taskmaster. What a good day for feminism.

Incredible. You can’t script that level of awkward. I’m so glad they didn’t try to edit around the less-than-slick television of Ivo talking over Frankie’s one-sentence potato anecdote to say hello to Alex.

Normally when I get screenshots of Ivo I carefully time it so I can get him when his eyes are open, which is rarely. But I think in this case, catching him in his usual state, which is with his eyes closed (seriously, I did not notice how true this was until I made that video last year with all these contestants, and struggled to find clips of Ivo where he was both moving around the stage/set and has his eyes open, he mostly just stands still with his eyes closed) captures the atmosphere better.

- Oh cool, two season 2 references. Obviously a potato next to the red green that can’t be touched is invoking Joe Wilkinson. And a bridge for a potato is invoking Debajo De La Mesa.

- I think from now on, my entire blog may just turn into a repository for screenshots of Frankie Boyle and Ivo Graham together.

- Yeah, this is all I actually want out of a television show.

You’re close, Ivo, but not quite - you’re wrong about it being an either/or. What we want is for one team to be the first thing and the other team to be the second thing, so they can be contrasted in ways that make each one more amusing when set against the other, and can occasionally be edited together in a montage designed to make the differences hilariously clear. And I know I haven’t even seen the first team task yet, but I think this season might out-do all previous ones in that way.

- Are we going to keep up the joke all season where Frankie Boyle is like Ivo Graham’s father who didn’t love him? Because I’m on board with that.

- This post is pretty screenshot heavy, there are just so many images I like.

Oh Jenny, trailblazing veteran comedian though you are, your experience clearly doesn’t extend to understand the dire consequences that can occur when a tiny bit of your shoe touches the red green, and you don’t immediately acknowledge the mistake and start over, this time doing it properly. You don’t want to hide that shit, Jenny. They’ll catch it on camera and then it’ll be worse. Mae knows. Mae’s clearly seen that episode. Mae is not here to fuck around with that sort of thing.

I do really like Mae’s particular brand of competitiveness, which is coming out in Ivo too. The kind where you want to win so much that you’re ridiculously careful about making sure you’ve followed every tiny instruction and accounted for every little thing because you can’t stand the thought of fucking up on a pointless mistake. But then because you’ve been so careful, you hold everyone else to the same standard, expect them to also have meticulously gotten everything right, and call it out if you see them get away with slacking on that, because if you bothered to get it all right then they should have to as well. And yes, at some point in that sentence it became clear that by “you”, I mean “me”, that’s how I live my life and it’s maladaptive at times. But it’s also how Mae Martin and Ivo Graham are playing Taskmaster, and I love seeing it.

- Love how much effort they put into the barrel bridge before realizing they can just use duct tape and poles. Also:

Brilliant. I really hope this screenshot embodies what this team will be like all season, with the two competitive contestants carefully managing a tricky solution to the task, and Jenny dancing and singing on the sidelines for moral support.

- Mae Martin: Stop the clock, I think.

Kiell Smith-Bynoe: I think we could go higher.

Mae Martin: No, I’m scared.

Yep, that’s the kind of so-competitive-you-come-back-around-to-being-cautious I’m talking about. Also, I’m scared too Mae. This is genuinely tense, don’t fuck it up.

No! Careful! I mean, I love the symbolism of the early female comedian from back before they invented more than like four women in comedy, assisting the young(er) queer comedian who’s existing in a world created by the previous generation of feminist trailblazers. But also, I’m worried about all the little things that can go wrong here. I know Mae is meticulous, but how carefully his Jenny watching her shoes’ proximity to the red green?

- After I wrote that last point, I hit “play” on the video again, they raised it even higher, some of the tape started stretching, and without consciously meaning to, I started saying: “No, stop the clock, stop the clock!” out loud, to my laptop screen. At the same time, heard my voice joined by Mae Martin’s:

I get you, Mae. I get you. Do you want to be, like, best friends, or something? You’re not looking for a wife, are you, if Charlotte Ritchie’s off somewhere else?

- Oh God. That was tense. They did it. Well done all around, everyone. Competence on Taskmaster, who would have expected that?

- Ivo. Honey. What are you. What are you doing?

The board isn’t part of it, buddy. What are you doing?

...I knew I was looking forward to seeing Ivo Graham fall apart merely from being in the presence of Frankie Boyle, but I don’t think I expected it to engender quite so much of my current reaction, which is wanting to protect him like a child. Go build the bridge, Ivo.

- There’s a lot of competition in this category, but I think this might be my favourite screenshot of this whole episode so far:

- And it was beaten for that spot a split second after I posted it:

- I don’t know why since there’s been so much other good stuff, but my hardest laugh of this episode so far has come from Ivo Graham going in the house to try to find something that’ll actually work, and Frankie Boyle marches predatorily after him to suggest that they roll the potato in a tube.

- Oh shit. You know what, I was making fun of Frankie’s tube idea, but credit where it’s due, I stand correct. That worked really well.

Greg knows what’s up. Greg’s the one saying the quote in that caption, but from the grin on his face, Alex is also aware that they’ve struck fucking gold with that pairing.

At the end of the season I want to collect all these Frankie/Ivo screenshots (I just remembered that I said last week I’m going to call them “Franko”, I’ll have to start that next week), rank them by awkwardness, and put them in a collage.

And as we come down from the 18 different types of tension at play in the previous task, now we’re in the lab, setting shit on fire. Awesome.

- So it’s the season 8 little finger task, but with a breath instead. Okay. I’m on board.

- Jenny Eclair wants to resuscitate a dying animal. I admire the ambition.

- I think Mae and Kiell’s idea for this probably what I’d do. See if you can set off a chain reaction by blowing on something small. But I think I’d go smaller scale than this - I’m now thinking of the season six task when they tried to extinguish a candle by blowing through a pipe that size, and it didn’t go too well.

- Mae Martin kissing a marble and ordering it not to fuck up: yes, that’s the level of competitiveness we want out of Taskmaster.

- Kiell, you have to put the ball a little way into the pipe before you blow on it, so it’s already going in the right direction. It isn’t lighter than air.

- Again, the level of intensity:

We’re all very attracted to hot queer people who get disproportionately intense about stuff, right? That’s not just me?

- Holy shit, Mae’s worked! I didn’t think it was going to, I thought they put the xylophone too far away. But of course they must have tested it, they’re not messing around.

- Well, didn’t think Kiell’s would work either, so I was right one out of the two times. Also, I don’t think he started that one with a breath. I think he just dropped it down the tube.

- Oh good, marble runs are the smart way to go, but I’d have been disappointed if they’d put fire in the intro and then no one brought fire into the actual task. I’m learning that we can count on Jenny for that sort of thing. Wouldn’t it be fun if it became a running joke throughout the season that Jenny’s thing is setting shit on fire?

- Holy hell. I thought Jenny was going to light a candle in the caravan and then put it out, but she is now actually lighting the curtains on fire. I’ve said before that Taskmaster NZ is fun because it has more lax health and safety standards that Taskmaster UK (I’m not... I mean, politically and just morally I’m aware that health and safety and other regulations are a good thing, sometimes my taste in comedy does not perfectly line up with my actual beliefs, like how funny I think it is to watch Ivo Graham get bullied on a panel show), but that’s taking quite a risk in this one.

New hardest laugh of the episode. If I hadn’t paused the video to write this, I’d have had to pause it anyway to laugh. Brilliant. No notes.

- So, I’ve been taking these one at a time and only focusing on Jenny so far, but what the fuck is Frankie doing?

Is that... is that someone who doesn’t work for the show? Is that just a guy? It’s been mentioned a couple of times before that the Taskmaster house is near a golf course - in season six, when the contestants had to get back to the house, they were asking people for directions “to the golf course”. And in season 7 when they had to throw things over the fence, they talked about seeing people playing golf in the distance. But I thought that was, you know, the distance. Presumably they don’t just have golfers that close to the house while they’re filming.

Holy fuck. Holy fuck. That was incredibly funny. I still don’t understand why that guy was there, it doesn’t matter. Frankie Boyle fucking with a golfer and then folding over in silent giggles like a child playing a door-knocking prank, but it isn’t a child, it’s Frankie Boyle with a golfer, possibly his least favourite type of person after privately educated posh English boys - fucking hell that’s funny. I’d watch a whole show of just Frankie doing that.

True, but perhaps not the best way to ingratiate yourself with the hosts of this show, or least with one of them, and that reminds me, Alex, please cast your buddy John Robins on here someday.

- Alex just told us that the garden “backs onto a golf course”, so I guess they’re a lot closer to it than I’d thought.

Seriously, fucking commission that. I’d watch it, and I’m not alone. Raise your hand if you’d watch an entire show of Frankie Boyle blowing whistles in inappropriate places.

- Well, I got so into Ivo’s task attempt that I haven’t even catalogued it (which is probably fine, I definitely did not need to screenshot nearly as much of this episode as I did), and at the end, it at least came close to matching Frankie’s attempt in my hardest laugh of the episode. Oh, that was a beautiful disaster. Trying the radio first, getting rejected. Then getting rejected by Greg. Then by Ed Gamble. Apologizing for breaking glasses and then failing to break glasses. Failing to break glasses, how hard can that be? I thought he was going to do creepily sexy breathing down the phone at Ed, but instead for some reason he really intensely sort of breathily shouted.

Oh yes, Ivo. It feels like one point. But it was a heroic failure.

And to be fair, Kiell’s breath wasn’t even what moved the ball. Ivo did move the basketball with his breath. If you say Ivo’s “one breath” was the last one he took, since that’s the one that actually moved the ball, then that probably took place after Ed Gamble hung up. So he didn’t even annoy Ed with that one, and the glasses didn’t break. But he did move a ball. More, technically, than Kiell did.

- Wow, the scoring is all over the place here. I feel like Greg took on board accusations of being too generous at other times, and might be overcorrecting. But then he was weirdly generous in the music task.

Anyway, scoring aside, that was a great bit of chat following that task. Ivo and Kiell sniping at each other to continue the animosity developed in the last week’s prize task. Mae trying to remind people of their nice little bing. Greg saying he can’t give five points for “putting off a golfer”. Frankie Boyle, of all people, accusing him of being jaded. Alex correcting Greg’s scoring (and being right - Kiell should definitely not have beaten Jenny or even Ivo) and Greg acquiescing. There seemed to be a bit of distance in the studio in last week’s episode, but they’re getting into it now.

- Love Ivo covering hi smouth in shock at the sight of that scoreboard:

I don’t imagine this will happen much, but it is fun to see Frankie Boyle at the top of a Taskmaster board.

- Ah, the old Taskmaster classic: arts and crafts with visual and material-based restrictions. A classic for a reason.

- Ivo not just looking under his table, but spinning it around to see the whole thing:

That is a man who has seen Taskmaster before, and has just watched his own potato bridge task, possibly being reminded of previous potato bridge tasks, and what lessons they’ve taught us. Debajo De La Mesa. And it worked out this time, there were scissors.

- I think how very fucking pleased with himself Kiell looked after coming up with his idea summarizes his whole vibe in quite a fun way.

- As the second one to complete the task, Frankie looks... less pleased with himself, in a way that also summarizes his vibe.

- Kiell, you fucking idiot! Just say it’s a caterpillar and you’d be fine! It looks more like a caterpillar than a snake anyway! Frankie’s not going to be at the top of the scoreboard often, don’t take this episode away from him!

- Yeah, Greg’s right, Mae’s was good. It should have won for not just being tape on a board. But I think that scoring was mostly right.

- Oh God, that was fucking good. The whole episode, so good. I thought last week’s was a good opener, but the quality here has escalated as they’ve settled into it. Also, this post got a little out of hand, I’m going to need to make fewer screenshots and comments next time because stopping it so often means this whole thing took me about four hours (though I did also stop and do laundry and make lunch). But fuck it, I have nothing else to do on this holiday Friday, and that was great.

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ecsundance · 11 months ago

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Me and Earl and the Dying Girl (2015) Film Review

Me and Earl and the Dying Girl, directed by Alfonso Gomez-Rejon is a fantastic coming of age film that explores the subjects of terminal illness, the loss of friendship, and the importance of breaking out of your shell. The film follows Greg (Thomas Mann), a senior in high school who has managed to get through by being acquaintances with everyone, yet never allowing himself to get too friendly in order to avoid being fully acknowledged or perceived. His best friend Earl (RJ Cyler), or who Greg refers to as his coworker, collaborates with him on short parody films and despite his nonchalant attitude throughout the film, genuinely cares for those around him. Rachel (Olivia Cooke), otherwise known as the “Dying Girl”, gets diagnosed with leukemia and seemingly builds a friendship with the two boys due to Greg’s mother forcing it upon them.

Knowing the plot of the film, a viewer could very easily assume that this film is a devastating tragedy about a young girl who gets her life taken away from her way too soon and leaves her love interest devastated. After reading The New York Times' review on the film, they mention that The Fault in Our Stars and If I Stay were released around the same time, two films that explore the tragic deaths of two young girls and seemingly romanticize it. However, this film does not take that route. Rejon does an excellent job at creating a narrative that focuses on a very real issue, young kids being diagnosed with these terminal diseases, yet he does not romanticize it. The whole trope about a character being terminally ill and having a pessimistic outlook on life but then having a sudden love interest enter their life who changes the way they think has been done time and time again in film and it is honestly quite irritating. Don’t get me wrong, I am a huge fan for films that will make me cry and leave me devastated after viewing, but the whole turning the story about an individual who is dying into a love story is just not my cup of tea, which is why I loved Me and Earl and the Dying Girl so much.

Alfonso Gomez-Rejon managed to take this overdone trope and create something so much more realistic and heartwarming, and while the storyline is still devastating in hindsight, he told this story in a way that was realistic and humanizing.Me and Earl and the Dying Girl is such a warm coming of age tale that focuses on the realities that some kids have to go through and the emotions those around them might experience. I truly did think this film was going to be another cheesy love story that involved one of the lovers dying, but I am so glad that I was mistaken.

-Manu Delgado

#sundancefilmfestival #sundance 2024 #film #indie

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gemsofthegalaxy · 1 year ago

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Okay, thank you for your clarification! I admit, I did also think it was kind of rude for you to tell me to "Be serious"..... Fandom for me is a fun hobby, I will take it as seriously or not seriously as I want to :P I'm glad you didn't mean it that way haha.

Unfortunately, I'm still not quite understanding what you mean to say? I really am not trying to be overly offended by your words or too defensive, I just simply don't understand what we're discussing anymore. My opinions on tomgreg are ever changing, I might change my mind any moment if I think about something in a new way or someone points out something to me. If this is about all my other posts about tomgreg, like, I'm not really sure what to say.... I don't know which ones you're referencing, I've made many posts on them, some probably even contradicting each other. All I ever said in this post was that it was funny/ironic to me that, based on the show, we would assume Tom's full name is "Tom Wambsgans" but now we have at least one, semi-canon interaction that indicates his first name is "Thomas".

and, i mean, as I have explained a bunch by now, my attitude regarding the scripts themselves is not actually about tom/greg at all... I have developed this stance regarding what I considered "Canon" years ago because I have had discussions like this in multiple fandoms and I don't like to argue over what is and isn't canon, so I stick to my guns.

Anyway. This is getting very long as a reblog thread, so I might not respond any longer. If you're wondering my opinion or something on a specific bit of script, or why I do or don't think something from the script fits with canon, I suppose you're free to ask/dm me, if you really want my input? Otherwise, it's totally fine if we disagree but we also don't have to keep up a conversation where we talk in circles😅

scripts are dubiously/not even canon imo but like. finally confirmation that tom's name is actually thomas and not just "tom" like bitch.. why has nobody called him that ever to my memory

#long post #fandom #discourse #i guesss its discourse #sorry now to my followers oops

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fbfh · 2 years ago

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rodrick heffley dating hcs

wc: 2.3k

pairing: rodrick heffley x gn reader

warnings: rodrick has really low self esteem, he also has adhd and dyslexia and general bad mental health, mentions of rsd, his parents are pretty shitty so yikes, brief mentions of parties/hookups/making out, barely proof read

song recs: teenage dirtbag - wheatus, cupid's chokehold/breakfast in america - gym class heroes

a/n: I can't get hyperfixated on diary of a wimpy kid again I can't watch all the movies just for rodrick I can't want to pounce on this man every time I see him.... and yet....

also this is exactly 6 pages in google docs what am i on

(aged up to 18+ for brief mention of hookups, otherwise sfw)

tags: @dustyinkpages @yesv01

First of all

Rodrick is a scorpio

So that makes a lot of sense right off the bat

If we look at how he’s portrayed

Which is through Greg’s perspective aka the most unreliable narrator of all time

We see an angry, angsty, aggressive rebellious teenager

He’s viewed as lazy, selfish, and manipulative, while being simultaneously “dumb” and smarter than he lets on

I saw a post that said maturing is realizing Rodrick wasn’t a villain, he has shitty mental health and a lot of issues he’s not getting help for

And yeah

Yeah that’s what’s actually going on

First of all I think we can all agree he’s dyslexic

Sweaty??? Loded diper???? D-o-r-e?????

Hello

Dyslexia has entered the chat

I think it’s also pretty safe to assume he has adhd

Maybe I am just projecting shut up

But I know for a fact this boy has had a monster energy dependency since he was Greg’s age

We know at this point that people with adhd and dyslexia (separately and together) often times have low self esteem for a variety of reasons

And my god there is no one with worse self esteem than Rodrick Heffley

He knows his parents think he’s dumb

They’re not good at hiding it

They might not have said it to his face but he knows

I get the sense that Rodrick isn’t really aware that all of his struggles are both diagnosable and treatable

So until he learns that many years later

He does actually think he’s kind of dumb

At least in terms of academics

But he can say at least he’s pretty clever

He definitely favors street smarts over book smarts yk

And that’s something that he relies on a lot

He’s taken the classic undiagnosed adhd + learning disorder rout of convincing himself school is stupid and doesn’t mean anything

Even though he actually gets really bad rsd

Especially through academic invalidation

So by the time he was around Greg’s age he’d already convinced himself that school is stupid and doesn’t matter

That no one else gets him

And what better way to back up that belief than fixating on rock and pop punk music???

In his eyes, all the greats had an up and coming early days “no one believed in our vision but us” era

That’s what Rodrick finds himself in now

So when his mom calls his hours and hours of drum practice noise and racket

And when his dad says all that rock and roll is melting his brain (even more than it is, is the implied rest of the sentence)

And when Greg refers to him as his “talentless brother”

It’s fine

Because the more people don’t believe him

The better his success will be

The further back he’s pulled, the further forward he’ll fly

Honest to god, green day’s discography is the reason he’s functional at all

If he can’t listen to american idiot or dookie or nimrod while doing it

He’s not going to do it

Pop punk and hot girls are the only sources of serotonin he’s been able to cling onto

That’s what’s keeping him going right now

A few more years he reminds himself

A few more years until he’ll have left and signed a recording contract and will finally get what he deserves

I think he’s actually kind of scared of someone liking him

Like, actually liking him

The same way where he expects people to be disappointed in him but it’s okay because no one sees his creative vision like he does

He’s convinced himself that the girls in plainview probably aren’t going to get him

So besides his stint with Lyndsey

Which hurt way more than it was supposed to

(remember all that rsd???)

And a fling with that girl from Isla de Corales that burnt out as hot and fast and ugly as he expected it to

He hasn’t really had any actual relationships

Besides the occasional hook up or make out session at a party

He doesn’t want to admit to himself that he knows if a girl actually liked him enough to really get to know him they’d see past the punk boy persona to how fucked up he is

And they’d get scared off

Because who wouldn’t be???

(remember that low self esteem???????)

On a similar note

His band mates may or may not be aware of this

But he’s kind of hiding all his good songs???

He keeps telling himself that it’s fine to just perform fluff and filler songs at first

Because once they get an audience

Once they get practice and a following

Once he knows the right people will hear him

Then he’ll drop the songs with substance

The ones where he really actually has something to say

Because if he posts diper overlode online and it gets 5 views, who cares

But if he posts a song that’s all his innermost thoughts to the hardest drum beats and guitar riffs and bass solos he can possibly come up with

And it gets 3 views and a comment that says it’s shit

It would kill him

Nothing can make him stop making music

Except maybe that

So once he gets into a more accepting, less harshly critical environment

It will be way easier for him to start dropping better and better songs

A little positive reinforcement goes a very long way with him

So by the time that you finally stumble into his life

However that happens

Maybe you saw him at Heather’s sweet sixteen and actually thought he was really good

You hunted him down a while later to tell him

And ask when their next performance will be

Or you heard him blasting his band’s cd at the pool for about 12 seconds before he had to shut it off

And you marched right over to buy one

And he fell in love right there

Or maybe you’re auditioning to be loded diper’s new guitarist or something

And he takes one look at you absolutely shredding

And his stomach drops and his heart starts pounding

Or some other meet cute

Or meet uncute knowing him

Goddamn you give him so much serotonin right off the bat

You figure out pretty quick that the way to his heart is making him laugh, quality time, and very gentle encouragement

And making out

But more on that later

He’s kind of obsessed with you

Okay not kind of

Super

Really super obsessed

Really fast

But like he’s going to play it cool

In spite of how down bad he is for you

Even though he’s not very good at it

He’ll try to play it cool as much as he possibly can

He’ll definitely flirt

He’ll try all his lines and moves

“I’m in a band ;)”

“We play so loud we make people’s ears bleed ;)”

“I can comp you some tickets to our next show ;)”

“Oh yeah I’m a drummer btw ;)”

“A drummer in a band ;)”

Yeah that’s pretty much all he’s got

But unless you want to jump into making out

He really has no idea what to do after that

(Plankton voice) I don’t know I never thought I’d get this far

So if you really like him

Which you do

Actually dating him might be a little tricky

I feel like what would probably happen is you two would just start by being friends who make out sometimes

Like a lot

And then

Eventually after a while

Making out with you will stop scratching that itch

He’ll want more

He’ll want you more

And he’ll start calling himself your boyfriend

Mostly because he really starts to hate it when other people flirt with you

Or stare at you too much

He knows he’s got it bad when he starts getting snippy and annoyed at his bandmates for trying to impress you

That’s when he’s like oh shit

Oh no I actually really like you

And I’m pretty sure you like me too

And if he said that to you

And you said “yeah, yeah I like you a whole lot” and pulled him in by his necklace to kiss him

Everything is solidified in that moment

He’s yours now

Also if you really, really want to make his heart go boom boom

And get him really in love and obsessed with you

Which why wouldn’t you

Tell him he looks like billie joe armstrong with his messy black hair and eyeliner

Oh my god

His heart is 100% yours

Even more than it was before

God he will kiss you right then and there

He really has no idea how he managed to catch you

Or like

Why you like him

(remember that low self esteem?????????????)

He really never thought he’d be a good boyfriend

But once it kind of clicked that being your boyfriend just means doing what he’s already doing with you

Plus a few extra things he already wants to do with you but wasn’t sure he could

He was like wait

It’s that quick easy and free??????? Fuck yeah

He’s so excited

Like really excited

And in spite of what he thinks

He is a good ass boyfriend in a really chill way

Like a lot of the stuff he does is under a very thinly veiled guise of like

Pfft it’s no big deal this is totally chill and casual

I just love kissing you and making out with you at every opportunity cause you’re super hot totally not cause I’m kind of in love with you

I like struggling through homework together cause you’re hot not cause looking at you kind of makes me believe in myself a little and makes really shitty things easier to get through

I try to keep you away from my family because they’re so annoying and you’re so hot not because I know my parents have historically sabotage everything that makes me genuinely happy (which used to just be rock but now is you and rock) and I don’t want them to say something to upset you

Or try to come between us because I’m not going to say this and I want to avoid this situation at all costs but I know if it came to an ultimatum most likely from my mom that I’d pick you

All of this is really just him trying not to jinx anything

Because look at you

Look at how great you are

The only two things he wants are a music career

Any kind of music career

And you

And he’s not going to do anything to jeopardize that

On the surface his feelings towards both you and his band might seem casual

But don’t test him

Cause he will do anything to protect those

Also the fact that you genuinely support him

You actually like the music his band makes

It’s almost unfathomable to him

Like he thought it was going to be a long time before he found someone like you

He’s still in the early life section of his future wikipedia page as a rock legend

And god he’s so excited he found you this soon

He’s just so excited

Being around you

Even just thinking about you is like someone slapped some jumper cables on him and revved the engine

He’ll almost definitely act like what you two have is super casual and barely anything worth noting for a while

Mostly around his family

That way you can avoid a formal Meet The Parents moment

He’s not going to subject either of you to that

After enough time passes his family is just kind of used to seeing you around

Rides to and from school

Hanging out during band rehearsals

Doing homework together

Once you’ve reached I’m with the band status

He doesn’t worry as much

They just sort of mentally put you in part of his friend group/inner circle yk

Which is great because now you can basically come over and spend as much time together as you want without any questions

It’s a pretty good way to gently fold you into his life

The way you’d tenderly fold whipped egg whites into pastry dough

I do have some unfortunate news

Which is if you’re dating Rodrick

Greg will probably get a weird awkward crush on you too

It sort of comes with the territory

Thankfully you have about one interaction with him every six months or so

All of which are by coincidence or accident

So it’s not really an issue

Unless you’re a babysitter or tutor or something

That’s when things can get messy

But hopefully that won’t be an issue

For now at least

Cause for now he just wants to spend time with you

He just wants to listen to music with you and drive around in his van and kiss your beautiful face

He knows shit won’t always be this easy

So he’s holding onto these good old days while he can

Because he knows these moments with you right now

These early morning texts about weekend plans and homework answers

Afternoons practicing the drums and trying unsuccessfully not to be distracted by how pretty you are when you watch him

Nights driving around in his van, going nowhere in particular

Just so you can be together a little longer

Just so you don’t have to go home yet

So he can savor the feeling of your hand in his for a few more minutes

For one more song

These are the good old days

And there will be even better days ahead

And he wants them with you

#rodrick heffley #rodrick x reader #rodrick heffley x reader #rodrick #diary of a wimpy kid #doawk rodrick #diary of a wimpy kid x reader #doawk x reader

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lifewithdavefarts · 2 years ago

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DaveFarts - Episode 22 “Road Rip” [Episode List] Dave is stuck out of town after a big storm damaged the railways in the area, resulting to all trains getting cancelled. Tim’s lazy saturday night gets therefore turned upside-down as he is forced to take the car for a two-hours trip to get his friend back home.

Want to feel like Tim? Click on the links in the story to hear the power of Dave's farts! The audio for the farts was kindly provided by the skilled farter TheFartingWolf, so make sure to follow him on Twitter on his main account and his backup one!

POV: Tim

Road Rip

Saturday afternoons are the laziest moments of the week for me. Or, at least that's what they used to be.

Now that I live alone (well, with a roommate) I take advantage of this otherwise unproductive time to get some random shit done, chores, everything house-related.

I got the kitchen cleaned up for example, then went to the grocery store ‘cause we were short on everything. Luckily, for the last few days I could easily run on fumes because I’ve been alone, since Dave had to attend to some kind of convention out of town, work stuff. He occasionally kept us posted in the group chat, as apparently he, his boss and their co-workers spent most of the time drinking and some of them got badly drunk in an attempt to impress their superiors, leading to some unprofessional behaviour, and thus hilarious for us. In private, Dave also reported to me the presence of a very hot gay guy, but since he’s working in a rival company, my bro told me that he wouldn’t actually approve of our relationship.

That voice message? That’s exactly what you think it is.

And no, I won’t kill him, I’m just baffled by how chill he is.

Even when he’s not around, Dave would still blast me using modern technologies, and that voice message was his ass speaking, not him, one of his usual, loud, 10+ seconds farts.

On one hand, I treasure Dave being ridiculously open minded. On the other, more than once I almost listened to those in public, thinking they were actual messages, important stuff, instead of my bro making fun of me.

However, I can’t really complain much since as annoying as he can be, I know I’m very lucky.

He kept sending us messages and updates, the usual stuff, memes and shit, while I kept doing my own shit around the house, until at around 6:30 PM, when Dave sent a peculiar voice message.

It was in the group chat this time, so I know that couldn’t be a fart… maybe.

“Hey guys” it sounded like he was in a crowded place, which it made sense given it was a convention. “so I assume you noticed the storm this morning. Well that bitch hit us hard. I mean we’re all fine but the railways suffered some heavy damage and all trains have been cancelled.”

He stopped a few second to exchange some words with -I think- a co-worker and then resumed talking to us.

“I’m pretty much stuck here so… help? I know it’s a two-hour trip by car but I can repay y’all with sex. Raw, unhinged sex. I can be the lover of your dreams.”

Wouldn’t be Dave without jokes like these. And needless to say, we’re all men in our group chat.

“But seriously guys, let me know, and fast.”

Admittedly it was a time-consuming favour but while he may act all silly around us, Dave is pretty smart and organized, so I automatically assumed he tried out every available options before asking us.

After a couple of messages making fun of him, saying how he was gonna die there etc., the group™ started to think of a solution. Unsuccessfully, I might add.

Two of our buds were too out of town, spending the weekend with their girlfriends.

Adam’s car was in the shop to fix the engine and if he was lucky he was gonna get it back on Monday.

Greg was useless as usual.

So that only leaves… me.

“Alright, I’ll do it.” I simply typed in the group chat.

Everyone reacted to the message with a thumbs up and made comments about how many stops me and Dave were gonna have on our way back to fuck each other in every motel.

“Bold of you to assume we need to stop the car to fuck.” Dave played along. “We’re professionals.”

My bro-roommate then thanked me in private.

I turned on the radio to keep me company and just drove. It wasn’t a complicated trip by any means, most of it was a boring and uneventful straight highway. There was no traffic despite the cancelled trains, and it honestly was a surprisingly relaxing trip. The biggest risk (not that I thought there were gonna be any) was me falling asleep for how dull all of that was however (thankfully, the radio helped).

I managed to keep Dave (and my other buds) posted on my location, so he knew when to get ready. We decided (or rather he forced me) I was gonna leave the car in the parking lot next to the convention center and then have a quick dinner together in a fast food located in the building, so I could also rest for a bit; he actually asked me if I wanted him to drive on our way back, but I didn’t feel tired (at worst, we’d take turns).

Surprisingly enough, I got there in time, after around 2 hours as expected (9:00 PM or so). I parked where my friend told me to and then went looking for him in the building’s main (and big) hall. There were still some people around, some of them working on their laptops, chatting, casually having a beer. I assume most of them were in Dave’s situation but chose to remain there for the night.

“Right here, babe!”

I saw Dave waving at me. He was sitting on a couch near the hall’s coffee shop, with an empty beer bottle in one hand and his laptop on his legs. He looked visibly exhausted by the last few days but still cracked a silly smile when he saw me. He was wearing a white shirt and some grey jeans.

We bro-fisted because we’re manly mature men and he promptly got up to give me a quick hug.

“You’re awesome, I’m gonna let you choke on my dick back home.” he told me as his arms wrapped around my shoulder.

He was joking. Seriously. That’s how we always joke around, regardless of anyone’s sexuality. Dave then reached for his laptop and put it in his backpack: he just wanted to leave that damn place.

“Let’s get something to eat, it’s on me.”

“Come on you don’t-“

“Shut your mouth and follow me.”

We kept chatting as we walked towards this small fast food, also located in the main hall (as I said, it was a big place). If you ignore the alcohol involved, it was a prolific weekend for him and he was happy he was getting a raise starting next week.

“Maybe you can finally move in with Dana.” I suggested.

“Nope, you won’t get rid of me so easily.” he joked.

We sat at a table for two and quickly ordered some food using some kind of app that Dave made me install. Mere minutes laters, our meal arrived: I asked for a tasty cheeseburger while Dave went for the double one.

“Tsk, puny as usual.” he said, as he compared how relatively small my burger was.

“Remember who humiliated you at the hot dog-eating contest last year.” I flexed.

“Wow my gay friend is really good at eating sausages? Up next: the sky is blue.”

We both had a laugh. “Why so bitchy all of the sudden? You never complained about my sausage-eating skills before.”

Our very mature and not-at-all double entendre-filled conversation went on for a couple of more minutes, ignoring anyone overhearing us, though I’m pretty sure no one cared.

“But yes.” Dave then said. “We’re thinking of moving together within next year.” he then took a big bite of his burger. “No worries tho, I’m not going anywhere for now.” he continued, almost choking on his own food, and winked at me.

“Just say when!” I remarked, referring to when I needed to move out (in case Dana was the one moving in).

We both knew it had to happen eventually, and we were both super chill about it obviously. I was already looking for a place on my own lately anyway, so it’s not the end of the world.

After finishing our burgers, we both kept talking about the last few days while finishing our beers. Well, Dave was: I ordered a coke, since I was the one driving. My bro then got up and paid, as he promised.

“Gas too is on me by the way.” he said, as we walked towards the exit.

“Dude no you already paid for our dinner, you don’t nee-“

“Shut up. You drive, I pay.”

I chose not to insist and I simply appreciated the gesture.

We got to the car after a couple of minutes of walking; Dave put his backpack into the trunk as I occupied the driving seat, with my friend promptly sitting next to me on the passenger one.

“Alright it’s 10:00 PM… the trip will take around 2 hours… so we should be at home around Midnight.”

Dave looked at me unimpressed. “Yes, because 10+2 equals 12, is that correct?”

“Yes, sorry your brain can’t handle such advanced math.”

The sarcastic banter was interrupted by… well, I don’t even need to say it. It was interrupted by Dave ripping one, a quick, 2 seconds-long blast, partially muffled by the seat.

“…really? Already?” I asked, unimpressed, and he replied with another short blast, or the second part of the previous one which, knowing him, he probably interrupted on purpose just to cut me off with was left of it.

He dropped the serious facade and smiled. “Come on, let’s go home.”

Good idea. I started the car and we got moving.

“When back there you told me that gas was on you…” I said, as I drove out of the parking lot. “I thought you were talking about the car.” I joked, mustering all the courage I had to do it.

He really likes messing with me.

My friend laughed. “We’ll see.” he simply answered. “Either way, you’re getting free gas.” he winked at me and turned the radio on, completely chill as usual about how weird I was.

Here it goes, my heart racing fast, still unable to get used to my bro being this ok with my kink, so much so that we can casually joke about it like we just did.

“J-just don’t hotbox the car.” I tried to be as smooth as possible, but I’m pretty sure my voice cracked.

“Not making any promises.” he said, while tuning the radio.

I kept driving, focusing on the highway in front of us as the music kept us company. Dave was visibly tired so I let him rest for a while; he wasn’t asleep but I could tell he was exhausted. I mean I could easily scare the shit out of him by swerving the car like a madman all of the sudden, but I chose not to, because I’m indeed the hero he doesn’t deserve.

For the first hour, just like on the way up, the return trip was dull and uneventful, but oddly relaxing.

“How’s the gas?” Dave asked.

“Yours or the car’s?” I replied, knowing that I could step on a mine by saying that.

My friend laughed at the lame joke, making me question whether we’re both actually really really dumb.

“But I’m good, thanks. Got lots of gas to spare.”

And I just stepped on the land mine, as expected.

“What a coincidence.” I could sense his smirk. “Me too!”.

Dave adjusted his position a bit and spread his long, denim legs. He reached for the radio to lower the volume, so I could only have ears for what he was about to unleash.

“Y-you don’t have to, man.” I tried to say, sincerely.

But Dave just cackled. “jUsT sAy WhEn!” he replied, doing a very offensive impression of what I said earlier, voice cracking and all.

My friend knows how the kink works but can’t help to find me hilarious and I can’t do anything to stop him. This is my hell… and heaven, at the same time.

He still wasn’t farting, oddly enough, so I dared to look at him, only to find him staring back at me. It was night and the car was dark, but the lights from other vehicles revealed, unsurprisingly, a silly yet reassuring smile draw on his face.

“How many times do I have to tell you that you have nothing to worry about with me?”

My heart was racing faster than the cars around us. I’d be ironically more able to have a discussion with someone not being ok with my kink rather than this.

Dave always leaves me speechless.

“Look, just listen what I’m gonna tell you, ok?” he stated.

I believed him.

I believed him like a fool.

I truly believed he was gonna make some kind of deep speech to reassure me (not that he didn’t the in the past, more than once). A fool, that’s what I am, and in fact my ears got destroyed by a voice, yes, but a loud, roaring voice coming out of his ass.

What was both hot and hilarious to me was that Dave kept staring at me with a serious expression, as if that loud gas was indeed an important speech, but halfway through the 14-seconds-long fart he just lost it and smiled like a jerk, without losing control of that enormous blast of gas. The way he controls his rips is downright fascinating to me (but I’m biased): my bro would speak, move, laugh while farting and the blast would never lose any power.

Once he was done, he playfully punched my right shoulder and sat back normally, tightening the seatbelt, but his ass being glued to the seat didn’t stop the stench from engulfing the entire car. It wasn’t terrible… yet, but I did have to lower the car window just to let some fresh air in.

“Was that natural or on command?” I had the guts to ask, but I was genuinely curious, given the sound it had.

Dave looked amused by the surprising question. “Not tellin’, a pro never reveals his secrets.” such a smug answer.

“Well…” damn I’m being brave tonight. “Whatever you do, I tip my hat to how loud your farts get. That’s impressive, r-regardless of my kink.”

What a surreal conversation.

My friend simply laughed in response, probably at me, but I couldn’t really blame him.

“I’ll keep that in mind.” he then said, with a smirk.

I swear I wasn’t requesting anything, he was being a teasing asshole!

–

We kept talking about some other stuff, like our plans for tomorrow, since it was Sunday. The general consensus was “we do absolutely nothing” which, given how tired we were probably gonna be once we got home, it was probably for the best. Dave then resumed talking about his promotion.

“Dude, my boss is a jerk but credit where it’s due: if I get more money, I can finally afford that trip to France with Dana.”

“Yeah, I remember you guys have been talking about it for years.”

“And we still do, so maybe next year we’re finally -WAIT, did you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

…Why do I always fall for it?

I didn’t even have time to roll my eyes that Dave once again started ripping one of his huge blasts. He leaned just a bit to ease the fart out, effortlessly hotboxing the entire car, as I kindly told him not to. Then again, he did say he wasn’t making any promises, so I guess I walked right into that one.

The fart was long, loud and proud, easily silencing the music coming from the radio. It kept going strong as I listened in awe, my boner almost piercing a hole through my pants and touching the steering wheel, a boner my friend probably noticed because he winked at me (he winks pretty often lately, huh?), with a smirk, while still farting loudly and manly.

12 seconds, basically the average length of Dave’s rips.

I wanted to say something smooth and sarcastic to not look like the mess I am, but my friend simply resumed talking about his potential trip with Dana as if nothing happened, which I didn’t mind to be honest. What I did mind, like the hypocrite I am, was the smell poisoning my lungs. Despite the open windows, my nostrils were burning, while my friend was basically immune to it.

Now it was getting bad, the scent of Dave’s double cheeseburger, but rotten, lingering for minutes after the fart was done being ripped.

“I think I’m done with cheeseburgers for a while.” I commented out of nowhere.

Dave laughed, knowing exactly what i was referring to. He was actually proud of how nasty his rips were, the immature bastard.

I managed to focus on driving however, keeping an eye on the road and other passing cars, while still casually chatting with my bro, the insisting stench being a constant reminder of his farting skills even when his ass was being silent.

But I know Dave: he wasn’t done.

Around 30 minutes later, the radio played a song of a band we really like.

“I believe they’re having a concert in Boston in a few months.” Dave said.

“We gotta book some tickets if there’s still time.”

“I doubt it but it’s worth a shot.”

“I gotta hear that solo, bro.”

I feel like my life is just a series of fart cues for my gassy friend at this point.

“Right, but you gotta settle for this solo until then.” he stated, and I knew where this was going.

He again spread his legs wide and started farting, predictably, the blast being just as powerful as the others. How he manages to do it is beyond me, whether it’s natural or on command. The guy’s got talent and I wish I could be unbiased about it: he’s that good. I could swear that the warm gas cloud he produced almost fogged up the car windows, and the stench got even worse, nauseating, so much so I could taste it, which wasn’t a good news at all for my stomach, busy trying to digest my own cheeseburger.

Around 13 seconds later, Dave again adjusted his position on the seat and the fart went silent.

“Dude, no offense.” he turned to me. “But how you manage to survive whenever I fart in your face is a mystery to me.” he admitted, visibly disgusted, but still smiling and amused nonetheless.

The fact that he said that as if it was the most normal sentence in the world almost made me swerve the car.

“Like, was it last month?” he recalled. “We were on the couch and I used my legs to get you head-locked right up my ass ahah and then farted for like 30 seconds.” he couldn’t help but laugh at that memory, while still being disgusted.

I couldn’t blame him: this kink is gross, but I was grateful he also found it disgustingly amusing.

I can however blame him for my massive, damp boner instead: hearing Dave just casually recall our previous fart sessions was something I never expected to happen. What’s next? A clip-show episode?

And yes, I do remember the head-lock thing. I didn’t even ask for it but he just went for the fart-kill. I never ask for it, in fact: Dave walks the thin line between teasing me and straight-up bullying me with farts at this point, fully knowing how much I enjoy it...

I remained silent, hoping that we’d change the subject, even though the raunchy smell in the car kept reminding me of my bro’s powerful flatulences. His gas is like weed to me, when it comes to side effects, ‘cause I didn’t realize how much time passed; turns out we were like 30 minutes from home now: we did all the trip in one sitting, no pit stops or anything, just like daddy Tim likes it (please forget I called myself like that).

“Well Tim, you did it. You drove us home safe and sound, against all odds.” he mocked me.

“The odds being? You trying to poison me?” I dared to say.

That smirk, his signature smirk once again appeared on his face.

“Bro if I wanted to poison you, trust me, you’d have died miles ago.”

“Oh you trust me, my nostrils are burning.” I admitted.

My friend adjusted his position on the seat one more time in response.

“Just be glad you’re not getting this in your face.” he tried to be serious, threatening, but he just laughed in the end.

I tried to ignore what he just said, which I could easily do given what immediately followed: a loud, manly fart, already the loudest of the bunch. He’s done holding back: he was saving the best for last. The sheer power of the blast quickly renewed the horrid stench tarnishing the car; I felt soaked in my friend’s gas and I knew I had to take a long shower once I got home.

I should be glad this wasn’t in my face, he told me, and while I did want to get that blast up close and personal like we usually do... judging by the loudness, the power, the stench… maybe I should indeed be thankful.

Dave farted in my face many times by now, and trust me when I say that I endured some of the longest, loudest, baddest farts you can imagine. So when even I tell you that yes, maybe this one blast should be admired from a safer distance, you know things are getting way too hardcore. This latest fart sounded similar to the others, but I could also sense it was raunchier, deeper, dangerous. It wasn’t wet or anything, but it was pure, raw manly power.

Just like my bro wondered how can I survive his farts, I wondered the same about his jeans, how the fuck his farts do not manage to tear a huge hole through of them. Those lucky, lucky jeans.

The fart kept going, so loud that I couldn’t even hear the radio, and while he wasn’t ripped in my face, it could very well have been: I felt the car shake due to its power and through the gas all round me I could taste the twisted, rotten version of the double cheeseburger Dave had not even 2 hours earlier.

Eventually, even this fart had to end, Dave leaning a bit so he could rip the loud last few seconds towards me, clocking at almost 30 seconds in total. An incredible display of talent, further proof that he’s the fart master.

After a few moments of awkward silence, in spite of my boner sucking all the blood from my brain, I managed to be brave enough to speak, ignoring my friend’s smirk.

“I could’ve handle it.” I stated, lowkey suggesting that next time he had a fart like this brewing, he shouldn’t worry about directly blasting my face.

Maybe not while I'm driving, obviously.

“You’re disgusting bro.” he said, without losing his smirk, then called for a brofist. “Respect.”

Disgusted, but amused, he did find impressive that I’m indeed able to endure his incredible blasts. As usual, as annoying as he can be, and as gross as I can be, I couldn’t ask for a better bro.

Finally, about 20 minutes later, in the dark of the night, I parked the car on our front-yard, by the garage.

Both me and Dave left the car gasping for some clean air. Opening the doors of my vehicle felt more like opening a tuna can, with all the smell trapped inside leaving the tiny space it was trapped into all at once: I could still smell my friend’s farts while walking towards our front door, a sign that my hair and clothes were soaked deep into his gas. Even Dave's backpack left a trail of gas.

As we finally stepped into our living room, we felt free, as if we successfully finished a very dangerous quest. My tired bro-roommate patted my shoulder and walked upstairs like a zombie, ready to collapse on his bed and sleep until the end of time probably.

“Thanks for everything, Tim. Told ya the gas was on me.” he simply said, half-asleep already.

Teasing aside, I decided to not destroy him with one of my snarky comebacks and let him go this time, since I had another urgency to take care of. It’s a miracle I managed to resist for the entire trip in those conditions!

I waited for my friend to disappear into his room before rushing into the bathroom, so I could properly get rid of my damp boner. I barely needed to touch my penis, all it took was my fingers tickling it; my dick promptly exploded, the power of Dave’s farts and attitude being impossibly hot for me.

I took a deep breath as I came and I could still feel bits of that stench deep down my nostrils, which made me wonder if I myself reeked of farts and rotten cheese.

…yeah, I’m definitely avoiding cheeseburgers for a while.

Road trips, however, I’m all for it, as long as Dave provides all the gas we need.

End of Episode 22

#fart story #eproctophilia #fartkink #davefarts2 #malefarts #gayfarts

108 notes · View notes

ezlebe · 3 years ago

Note

prompt - greg quickly becomes mattson's favorite waystar employee; tom is not happy about this development

Tom presses his lips together, watching Greg slip into the elevator up to the executive floor and Matsson’s office for the third time, at the same time, in as many days. It could have been going on longer, but Tom only noticed after he saw Greg receive, then accept, then delete a calendar invite.

He’s been busy – too busy, apparently – and somehow missed Greg cozying up to the new thing in town with the Swiss chalet and the speedboats. He doesn’t even know what they could be working on, but it must be something big to warrant secrecy, unless it’s just kicking Tom to the curb. He fully assumed it was that, at first, but can’t even fool himself into thinking his already tenuous position requires so many little meetings or even so much secrecy; the meetings barely add up to anything, either, are fifteen minutes at a time, if that, so hardly worth the elevator ride for an in-person tete-â-tete.

The most worrying part is what could be passing between them in text messages, which Greg hides behind his giant hands. It had taken a while for Tom to notice that, too, or at least he thinks it had; too long for him to put a stop to it early.

He hangs back to confirm the elevator has reached the top, then pushes the upward arrow himself, tapping his tablet to his thigh with a hard twist at his mouth. He rescheduled a meeting, somewhat staged, just to observe a bit longer than he could passing by. He feels a bit silly, but Matsson is only ever in the country but twice or so a month, and he has to see Greg so often? It makes no fucking sense. He can’t imagine a thing they’ve got in common, aside for awkwardness and managing to wheedle into Logan’s graces inside an afternoon.

Tom rolls his lips together, as he steps out onto the floor and glances around it, incidentally catching Frank and Matsson’s weird, spindly little assistant making stilted conversation through the window into Frank’s office. He watches them for a beat, briefly distracted by Frank’s tragic attempt to understand what they’re saying, which he clearly doesn’t and is obvious even from thirty feet away.

He turns his head a bit further, mouth pursing with a tight frown when he catches that Matsson’s blinds are closed, just like they were yesterday, and the day before yesterday, and the day before that –

What could possibly warrant Greg alone in Matsson’s office at the end of the day with the blinds closed?

“Wamb!” A self-satisfied voice greets from the other elevator bay.

“Hosseini,” Tom says, forcing his own lively tone, turning around and brandishing his folio slash tablet. “Ready for the 4 o’clock? So sorry I had to push it back.”

“Oh, what’s that smell? The finest bullshit Resorts’ reinstated dictator can spare?”

“Actually, yes,” Tom says, raising his brows with a pointed nod. “We’re testing fighting them live on the lower decks with interns down on thirty-four.”

“See that’s your problem, you act like that’s a stupid idea – but it sounds fucking amazing,” Stewy says, gesturing with a closed hand between them, then turning to walk down the center of the floor. “Even I’d go to one of the shitty resorts, if I might see some middle-aged sadsack getting gored.”

Tom raises his brows, reining a comment on middle age that would surely be turned right back around on him, and pretends not to look from the corner of his eye as they pass Matsson’s office. He can’t see much, but he thinks both the vague figures are a few feet away from each other that he can see in shadow, so that’s… some kind of a relief. He had kept otherwise in his back pocket as a worst case scenario.

He glances back forward, only to notice Stewy looking in the same direction from his other side. “What?”

“What?” Stewy echoes, promptly and mockingly drawing out the word, as he turns them away from Matsson’s office with a put upon scoff. “So. We talking about buying a place in Antigua or something?”

“Andorra – that’s the one with the snow, between Spain and France,” Tom corrects, flatly, confirming a personal assumption that Stewy is probably more bored than particularly interested in supporting Tom’s recent moves to the board. “I seem to have misplaced my travel globe; I didn’t know I’d need it.”

“Andorra? No shit, man,” Stewy says, raising his brows and tilting his head, as he swings open the door to his hotswap office of the week. “I do appreciate the odd boozy hot chocolate and broken leg.”

Tom gets about halfway through the proposed designs and value investment, an airtight five-year return, if he does say so, before he looks up to find that Stewy is definitely just staring over his shoulder at Matsson’s office. It’s absolutely irking, really, because Tom would like to be doing the exact same thing and instead he’s having to make do with the vague reflection in the shiny window.

“So what’s up with that?” Stewy says, leaning over the desk with a pair of raised brows and a significant glance toward Matsson’s office.

Tom sweeps his fingers across the screen to the next proposed design for the remodeled resort lobby and it’s slightly underestimated pricetag. “The proposed remodel of Villa de Montaña into a profitable luxury property?”

“You know that’s a no. Cousin Greg?” Stewy says, pointing a pair of fingers sideways and all but given up on subtlety, as he is inclined to do, “Is he jerking off Lukas under the board room table instead of you, these days?”

Tom forces another stiff smile, looking up while turning the screen around and shoving it at Stewy, a bit surprised to see him actually spare it a cursory glance. “I haven’t the slightest idea to what you’re referring, Hosseini. Could we stay on track?”

Stewy raises his brows, then makes that usual shark-like smile and leans back in his chair. “Is that a yes?”

“It’s an I don’t fucking know,” Tom says, slightly between clenched teeth, giving up his own act to look over his shoulder in the same direction and seeing the blinds still firmly shut. He glances back to Stewy with a mild sneer. “Why don’t you know – weren’t you bragging about cornering him in a grimy bathroom in the Rumpus Room?”

“Excuse me?” Stewy says, lifting a hand and flattening it with exaggerated offense across his chest. “We both know I refuse to tickle the pickle of anyone taller than me.”

Tom widely rolls his eyes just to catch Stewy’s eyes again. “…How the hell did I forget you always desire to be the most difficult personality in a room?”

“I don’t know,” Stewy says, raising his brows with an almost theatrical blink. “Not as if I hide it, like some people.”

“No?” Tom laces his fingers together over the desk while leaning over them. “I would argue that leaving it ambiguous is just the same.”

Stewy stares back hard, still affecting that lazy posture in his chair, then his eyes twitch just slightly to the side.

Tom turns around, catching Greg leaving through Matsson’s door with Matsson himself nodding at something they’re talking about, then shockingly breaking into an evident laugh. A boisterous one, even, leaning back on a foot before turning and going back into the office.

“Is he laughing at him or with him?” Stewy says, low and bemused, which is pretty fucking impolite for how often he’s ever stood within ten feet of Greg – altogether, ten minutes if being generous.

“What the fuck is going on over there?” Tom says, shoving his chair back to watch Greg go for the elevator. “You seriously don’t know?”

Stewy hums a low denial. “But Sandi’s been up my ass about it. I kind of took this meeting hoping you’d get a little talky.”

Tom shifts his jaw while watching Greg disappear through the sliding doors for a second time that day; he thinks Greg might look back, but is pretty sure it’s his imagination. He takes a breath and turns to Stewy, dragging his teeth across his lower lip. “Give me the Andorran resort and I’ll be more proactive.”

Stewy narrows his eyes, seconds passing between them, then shrugs and shoves the tablet across the desk back into Tom’s hands. “Keep the Roy name off it.”

“Done,” Tom says, glossily, standing up out of the chair. “Glad we could work this out.”

“Great. Am I ever going to get you to go out to Myrna’s again?”

Tom tilts his head with a hum, flipping the cover over his tablet screen. “I’ll have to check my calendar for the official date I lose all dignity and sink into a midlife crisis.”

Stewy breaks out that annoying laugh. “So circle back when you get the divorce finalized?”

Tom ignores the commentary, satisfied enough at having successfully multitasked a personal annoyance and a professional project. In a manner of speaking. He still has not a real fucking clue what is going on with Greg and Matsson, except that he’s not the only one to notice.

He exits out onto his floor to catch Greg in his office, standing awkwardly over his computer with a bag over his shoulder. He’s on his phone, and it’s tempting to interrupt, but instead simply pokes his head in to make it’s obvious he’s around to listen.

“Oh, okay – I thought I saw – ” Greg nods, his phone wedged into his shoulder, as the stilted voice of Matsson is heard interrupting him just on the other side. Didn’t Greg just leave his fucking office? “Um, I’ll check. I know, but you should’ve done it when I – ” He looks up with a start at Tom, suddenly breaking into a quieter, shyer laugh, and then Matsson says something that makes him go… pink. Oh. “Y-yeah. He’s… Yeah, actually. Zipped lips.”

Tom chews briefly at the inside of his cheek, staring at the side of Greg’s face, then forces himself to move past him toward his own office at a corner end of the floor. He resolves not to think for a few seconds, pushing into the door and just staring out at the setting sun across the city skyline – it… is not in his best interest to go back up and accept that offer to reacquaint himself with a club he hasn’t seen since he was in his mid-twenties.

“Tom?” Greg greets, quietly, knocking lightly on the edge of the door.

Tom turns with a sharp breath and lifts a hand in a halfhearted greeting. “Hey, buddy. I haven’t had you loom over me all day – where’ve you been?”

“Oh, like,” Greg shrugs, shifting his bag to his other side. “Around. It’s uh, quittin’ time, though, right? Or are you burning that… midnight oil? Again.”

“Yes, Greg, again,” Tom says, irked at being soundly shuffled around a direct lie into an omission. “I told you this would be a bit of a time sink in the beginning, didn’t I? And to stop questioning me on that, after you, yourself, convinced me to take that additional resort project.”

“Yeah, I – I’m not questioning you, Tom,” Greg says, shuffling into Tom’s office with a marked surliness to his posture, as his hands worry at the strap of his bag. “Just like wondering when you’ll be… around, again?”

Tom frowns slightly, setting his tablet down and rounding back to the front of the desk to lean into it. “Part of being at the top is having to tell all the little people at the bottom what to do, which takes up a lot of time – you know this, you’ve literally been around doing your own thing.”

Greg releases one of his hands from the bag with a little shrug. “But we just – you haven’t even gone to lunch in like… a while, though,” he says, raising his brows until they nearly meet. “Or dinner, even? You just kind of stay in here. A lot.”

Tom reaches up and scratching at his brow with his thumb. “If that flagship resort works out, I’ll let you put it straight in a portfolio, alright? It’s going to take time, though; not everything can be like your career in particular.”

Greg makes that certain face he does whenever he’s annoyed, for some reason, then drops his head. He takes a breath, clearly preparing something, only to look down at the phone in his hand with a visible start. He reaches up and scratches at his chin, swiping his lock in, and seems to have forgotten whatever he was all in a huff about to slump down into one of the seats with to address it.

A quick lean to the side reveals – oh yep, Lukas. Evidently, it’s first name basis now with the stiff Viking bastard. It’s hard to catch any of the rest, though, because Greg promptly curls his hand around the screen to hide it, just like he’s been doing for… fuck, who knows how long.

Tom feels a tic in his jaw. He watches Greg make this strained little smile, and tries to remind himself that he’s not that guy; he’s not that invasive; he knows Greg is fully allowed to do whatever Greg –

He lurches forward and snatches the phone from Greg’s hands, feeling absolutely nuts, and rushes backward while turning it over. He scrolls through the text app, ignoring Greg’s stilted, startled complaining behind him, and finds most of the messages to be vague, or simply abbreviated links, and a couple of dispassionate smileys that could mean anything. He goes down to the latest link, some little icon of something in the message, then defiantly clicks it —

An app loads, spinning, and then there’s a… splash screen and an alert that Greg has just gotten a new ally power up?

Tom stares at the screen for a pair of beats, then throws the phone back at Greg and hopes the screen breaks. “What the hell is this? Is seriously the only thing you’ve done the last fucking month is play a game with each other?”

Greg reaches out and manages to fumblingly catch the phone in one of his hands. “Not really with? We’re sort of independent to one another but progress of your – um, friends can be seen –”

“No, no, you have not…” Tom trails off, thinking about all the sneaky looks, the pointedly hidden screens, deleted meetings… for a phone game? No, that doesn’t make sense, unless Greg’s also been deleting his messages, but why would he only delete any, the known hoarder of incriminating shit? “Were you… Have you been trying to drive me halfway to the funny farm on purpose?”

Greg hunches a bit with that little affected glance up that’s a total affirmative.

“Oh, I see, let’s fuck with Tom’s head,” Tom snaps, pacing back and forth behind his couch and in front of the window. “Be suspicious with secret texts and code words and hush-hush interoffice liaisons so that he loses his mind wondering what the hell I’m up to?”

“They’re not uh, strictly code –”

“Is this you piddling on my rug?” Tom demands, gesturing across the office and down at the ground in front of his door, as recent conversations filter through his memory and the constant questions about whenever he might be free from work suddenly make sense. “Do I need to reassess my schedule to put in Greg time so you don’t feel the need to mindfuck me for a croissant sandwich?”

“Come on, like no, I can have my own – ” Greg curls his shoulders in, then suddenly exasperatedly rolls his eyes while his little act collapses and he slumps into the seat and starts scratching at a sideburn. “Lukas was… He was doing it first, okay, Tom?” He says, too neutrally, as if that’s any sort of totally sane excuse that isn’t just for tall awkward fucks who can’t directly address their shit. “You know, but Stewy and Sandi. I think it was – like he says, I mean, I’m not you, but he says they think anything he says to me gets back to you, then Frank and Gerri, then Roman, so on, like playing favorites with the Roys. He’s trying to get them to come to him with a better proposal for that new um, datafarm.”

Tom pinches fingers across the bridge of his nose. He should maybe let Stewy know that just for the sake of the resort, if nothing else, prove he’s not still here just to prostrate himself for the ghost of Roy past, but… he’s fully using his right to let it simmer for a few days.

“I’m like better than him at it,” Greg says, a few minutes later, once Tom has collapsed back at his desk. He’s now looking at his phone, tapping a screen that is not at all hidden in his giant palms and is featuring some kind of little sprite on a path. “Actually. He’s like, less good at picking dialogue options or something?”

Tom hums shortly, feeling a reluctant smirk curl at his mouth. “In the game, Gregory?”

Greg wets his lips, briefly looking up from the screen before ducking his chin. “Uh, obviously. Yeah.”

“And?” Tom says, reaching down to check his own phone for a a brief swipe. “Weren’t you just begging to go get dinner?”

“O-oh, yeah!” Greg says, rising a bit too quickly from the chair, nearly falling back into it while awkwardly catching the bag still quite firmly attached to him. “I was thinking like meringue, for some reason?”

Tom rolls his eyes and makes his way over to the coat rack. “And that’s definitely a dessert, so try again.”

#tomgreg #this i certainly not what you wanted #i added a couple dumb hc and added a couple things from my twt but #its like for fun so

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kidflashimpulse · 2 years ago

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since we've seen Don aka Bart's dad in-show (albeit as a toddler but still counts), my personal headcanon until proven otherwise is that Bart got his dad's eyes (seriously Bart has the EXACT same eye colour as the twins), and his mom's everything else

YES agree to agree anon 🤝

like both iris and barry have green eyes idk if they’re the exact same shade which u knw might be beyond cartoon physics but Don having green eyes and passing it on to Bart is like him passing that west-allen gene along with the speed but everything else is moms lol so i see exactly where ur coming from here :D

and it’s just so funny how on first glance it’s really easy to think he’s a classic west-allen both appearance and personality wise

totally unnecessary addition from me but we knw Iris is an investigative journalist, she’s smart and we can assume she’s in tune with Bart more than others in the family. So sometimes she just muses thinking about him and what she recognises r their own family traits and what she doesn’t recognise that must be from the moms side of the family. Ofc she must be curious about who her son ultimately had a child with in the future and it seems to be suggested by greg and Barry in the show that they expect Don to have Bart as a son in the present timeline future too.

Can u imagine Bart being paranoid about his family seeing his mom one day and instantly realising who she is because of just how much he takes after her LOL

Don when he sees meloni: u remind me of someone 🤨

Meloni: doesn’t knw if that’s a good or bad thing

Bart: i think NOW is a great time for me to take a holiday to Mars who’s with me

#bart allen #impulse #kid flash #young justice #yj #dc #don allen #meloni thawne #iris west allen #flash family #YJ asks

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addictedtostorytelling · 3 years ago

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Hi again! Very short, specific and kinda stupid question, but I was just rewatching 11.09 'wild life' and there's an exchange between Greg and Sara at the victims' apartment that stood out to me. Noting that the couple's parrot's still there, Greg asks why it isn't talking, and Sara says that he might be traumatized cause he 'lived in an abusive household and witnessed dad kill mom'... And I'm like hello? Sara says it so casually, with Greg standing right beside her. I don't think he knew about her childhood in that moment, and I'm not sure if that confuses me more or less. Anyways, it's a very short, hardly trascendental exchange, but I thought it was very strange.

Thanks in advance!

hi, @its-a-geeks-world!

greg almost certainly doesn't know about sara's family history at that point, as he and the rest of the team aside from grissom seemingly only learn (vague) details about sara's childhood during the events of episode 13x15 "forget me not."

as for why sara can remain so calm and seemingly unaffected when talking about case details that closely mirror her own trauma, outside of the universe of the show, i blame the lazy writing of the later seasons: the writers didn't recognize what the implications were in putting those particular words into sara's mouth, and while jorja might've known as an actress what the valence was (given how in tune she is with her character), since the scene itself and the direction she was given likely didn't call for any kind of personal reaction on sara's part, she didn't insert one. it was meant to be just a quick exposition line, so that's what it was played as.

it's just part and parcel of the later seasons of the show basically forgetting all of sara's previous character history except for in one or two very special episodes™—same as why she doesn't have a particularly notable reaction to the horrific ipv aspects of the case in episode 14x12 “keep calm & carry on,” even though by all accounts she probably should.

the later seasons writers just in most cases eschewed making reference to any deep history with their characters.

they wrote "for the episode," not for the arc.

that's why the characterization of s10-s15 typically feels so shallow.

of course, if you're interested in an in-universe explanation for her weird level of blasé about the whole thing, you could maybe

a) attribute it to the fact that perhaps she feels comfortable "going there" because ultimately they're talking about a bird and not a kid (so she doesn’t feel as much personal connection as she might if there were an actual human being involved in the situation for her to empathize with),

b) assume that at this point in her life, when she's otherwise happy and stable and has a confidante/emotional support system in grissom, she just isn't as easily triggered as she would have been back of the day, so simply mentioning a case that resembles her father's murder isn't enough to set her off*,

c) suppose that her cool is just a product of her having now had six years of practice in talking to grissom about her trauma, reasoning that now that she’s been able to apply language to the fact of it with someone she feels comfortable with, she has an easier time referring to it across the board,

d) infer that perhaps she feels at liberty to parse the situation in the way that she does for greg because she has a feeling he won't draw connections between her and a parrot, no matter how insightful she is about the bird's trauma.

* that’s a strange thing about triggers: sometimes events/encounters that by all accounts should probably set someone off don’t, whereas events/encounters that shouldn’t occasionally do. the traumatized brain is idiosyncratic.

i mean, honestly, we could probably rationalize her behavior here in a dozen different ways, but i guess the bottom line is that, for whatever reason, she does seem to feel safe to make the comments that she does in this particular situation.

one way or another, she’s not worried about being “found out” or having an emotional reaction that might clue greg in that what she was talking about was personal to her.

somehow, she’s able to discuss (in a generic way) the condition of being traumatized from watching one parent murder another without being set off about it herself.

and since the episode itself doesn’t offer any insight into the issue, really, it’s dealer’s choice on this one, in terms of what in-universe explanation one latches onto.

sorry i can’t be more definitive!

thanks for the question! please feel welcome to send another any time.

#answered #its a geeks world #asks: csi #**#my meta #speculation csi #11x09 #later seasons #let's talk shop #csiverse

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cosmicclownboy · 3 years ago

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Kyle and Eduardo's first meeting also shouldn't be something that's off screen. Eduardo might be a new character we barely know yet but he's Kyle's family and presumably someone he doesn't even know exists. S3 set up some more answers for Kyle to find with regards to his dad so we better get that on screen. And where is the romantic turn coming from at the end of the season??? We all assumed Isobel but as much as the writers have been teasing those two on occasion for 3 seasons now there's been no progress there since 3x03.

This reminds me so much of s2 in that Rosa and Alex seem to have the more thought out character arc's .BUT there are differences surprisingly I think Michael has the best of all the characters a very big change from s2. He went from stagnating and not having growth for all of s2 to having the most growth of all the characters alongside Rosa this season.

Max, Isobel , Kyle and Maria they don't really have characters growth arcs this season.

Maria's basically got the kitchen sink thrown at her and everything revolving around her - the character's bring her up every five minutes. But there isn't an emotional journey imo. At the end of the day she's woken up and won't think that she pushed herself too far or did too much she'd very much do it again. And since no one will call her out or say otherwise there isn't any growth for Maria. Sure maybe she'll kiss Greg but is that emotional growth.....debatable.

Max has been pod fridged....Dude didn't even get a hint of a character arc before he wound up in the pod. Much like s1 it seems like his story is .....Liz. We saw his pov as a white cop it's not really an emotional growth it's just people telling him that racism exists??? Dude's 30 he should know what racism is. It's not compelling. It's just there. And sure he will kiss Liz but again not emotional growth.

Kyle started well they were showing that he was underappreciated and overworked for 2-3 episodes. Then he was hatecrimed to death and then he got no pov on that after 2 minutes because Maria made it about the vision. And the racism plot became about the vision. And now he's been fridged as a plot device for Maria and a radio???? If you have an arc of oh Kyle is underappreciated having no one give a shit and forget his existence after an episode isn't just bad writing but further enforcing that they only care when it serves them. Liz only missed Kyle to help her with helping Maria.

I think Isobel's arc is one of her reclaiming agency and independence via being underestimated by people. But she's mainly been following Maria around for several episodes. I was confused for most of the season about her arc because it wasn't very blatant she just kind of wound up plot devicing other peoples stories.It was only during this episode that they gave a little jush of arc and I kind of had an aha moment about what her journey is this year.

Tbh both Greg/Maria and Kyle/Isobel were pushed to the wayside for plot purposes. We never saw Greg rush to the hospital to see Maria he was awol and we just randomly see the next episode him having a fundraiser. And doesn't appear when she does wake up.

And Isobel/Kyle if they going there they didn't let Isobel have any reaction after the vision.

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lady-writes · 4 years ago

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TALES THROUGH TIME TWO FT MY LEAST FAVORITE COVER. GREG AND LEANDRO I KNOW YOU ARE BETTER THAN THIS WHAT WERE YOU THINKING!

Stream of consciousness ramble reactions and big thoughts below the cut

SO NORIKO THEN-

just coming hot off the ropes to smack us with some THEMES

I don’t think this is early enough to be Noriko’s origin, this story is set 13th century AD and we know Noriko is BC old along with Andy and Lykon

I do find it WILDLY interesting that Noriko for what ever reason saw fit to Stalk? Haunt? Hunt? Follow? this man through his entire life. The narrative implies that she might have been his first kill. It out right says that she chose NOT to kill him then, and knowing what we know about how these homies fight, its a fair assumption that she could have killed him any of the 6 times we see them cross paths. but instead she waited.. WHY?!

RED IS NORIKO/QUYNH’S COLOR. IT IS LAW.

The whole of Force Multiplied is Nile/Andy/Noriko debating what is morally right for them to do. Noriko has no lines in her own story beyond introducing herself but HERE the framework is about nothing more or less that the question of what gives any person the right to kill another, to make choice for another living thing. THEMES OUT THE WAZOOOO

apparently by 1200′s AD Noriko had decided that tits out was no longer the way to go

also everytime Noriko Dies She’s Smiling.... I do not know what to make of that fact but I do find it unsettling

oh booker you sad fucking bastard, i hate when I’m right

SON OF A BITCH DO I HATE HATE HATE FORE/AFTERSHADOWING WHAT ON GODS GREEN EARTH, GODDAMN

sO YEAH ABOUT THAT FUCKING A

BOOKER IS FATES FUCKING CHEW TOY AND NOTHING IS GOING TO CONVINCE ME OTHERWISE

My personal HC of Booker as a optimist who’s been battered through cynicism pessimism and straight into self destructive Nihilism feels right at home in this story

Booker did keep his Napoleonic sabre! though what may have become of it is anyone’s guess

God so like do you think he remembers? Do you think he thinks its a coincidence? Booker never gets to see Copley’s stalker wall in comics or in the movie, so the whole intertwined web of humanity thing isn’t something he has awareness of as of the end of force multiplied.

1870- 68 years into immortality and Booker loves a wine (bougie hoe) and drinks/talks about drinking quite similarly to how he does in current era. Fair guess to blame his alcoholism on the death of his family rather than failure to cope with immortality. He’s still looking for meaning in why he’s alive

OH GOD YOU KNOW BOOKER AND JOE HAVE BONDED OVER THEIR SAVING PEOPLE THING. NICKY MUST BE SO FUCKING TIRED 🤣 🤣 🤣

I wonder why these two got paired together- assuming there’s some reason to that. Noriko’s story of apparent vengeance/ spending one of her many lifetimes pursuing one man for vengeance? shits and giggs? juxtaposed to Booker searching for meaning and trying to reassure himself that there must be a reason for his continued existence

what was andy up to in San Fran? I’m just curious but hey! its a stamp on the over all timeline of canon

IDK if we’re ever gonna see young shiny booker I doubt it, but I am REALLY looking forward to Andy+Achilles, because that will be the closest thing to seeing another new immortal being brought into the fold (when Andy and Booker meet)

My Takeaways:

The guard getting found out is gonna be directly related to Merrick, cuz maybe Merrick the Elder did tell those stories to his grandkids, maybe he made a sketch of the man who saved his life and the subsequent generations of Merrick’s grew up with that family legend. Maybe the quest for immortality was a family business. the Merrick the Elder become obsessed? This is the second time a story’s focal point/twist has rested on the Team coming across a former victim later in their lives. Situationally different thematically the same.

Quynh/Noriko continues to be PEAK MYSTERIOUS WOMAN TROPE. PLEASE SIR MAY I HAVE SOME BACKSTORY??!?!?!??! I WANT TO KNOW HER!!!!

IS BOOKER SECRETLY SQUISHY? WAS Booker squishy but now he’s drunk it out of his system

DID BOOKER MAKE THE MERRICK CONNECTION BECAUSE I STG IF THIS POOR HIMBEAUX ASSHAT SAW MERRICK PHARMA IN 2020 AND THOUGHT OH THIS IS WHY I SAVED THAT FUCKER I WILL EAT MY OWN KIDNEY THAT IS SO FUCKING MEAN. PLEASE GIVE THIS MAN SEVERAL SERATONINS, SOME PUPPIES AND A TALKSPACE ACCOUNT

Noriko’s entire comics MO of we should be the ones who cause the suffering, that's our right as the literal elder gods of this planet/humanity is Not one that I like at all but definitely suits her vignette

Booker got REAL GOOD AT FIGHTING for a man who was an unwilling Army conscript in the largest and most disastrous conscript army/campaign of the 20th century. Even if you don't assume that he spend the first 2-3 decades of his immortality tryin to like a normal life, The team is fighting enough that he got good enough to go 4 on 1 with one functioning eye in 60 years, and its far more likely that he actually did it in 30-40

Lastly I really like this book but I’m disappointed in Kelly Sue and/or Greg Rucka. Noriko/Quynh’s character is obviously pivotal to the story, but she has no genuine presence in the book. Blessedly she is unfridgeable (we hope), but she’s very much living in the Fridge position. She’s a Lost Lenore to the team, She’s Andy’s Eurydice. When she’s introduced in the main story she come with all the femme fatale/exotic dangerous woman tropes. She’s as flat as any generic superhero girlfriend and I expect better of these particular writers by far. I hope that this is a function of an attempt at mystery or some other need to keep her barely present in reality but constantly on the periphery, but not of the other one shots seem to have any place for her and Fade Away is no less than 7 months into a very nebulous future. Please don’t let me down book (UrProllyGonnaLetMeDown)

#tog comics talk #the old guard meta #the old guard #spoilers

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forevercloudnine · 4 years ago

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new 52 scarebat ship meme

(I had @heroes-etc give me more questions, but for scarebat this time, since we talk about it 24/7 but I never post about it. These are from this ship meme.)

4. Their favorite physical feature on each other?

There’s only one feature of Bruce’s appearance that’s scarier when he’s not wearing the batsuit, and that’s his creepy blue eyes. Especially the way Greg Capullo draws them where they’re sickly pale and have ridiculously constricted pupils.

So his eyes would definitely be in the running for Jonathan’s favorite feature, even if seeing them would require Bruce’s mask to be off, which is something New 52 Scarecrow explicitly avoids. Yes, that character trait only exists to justify why Batman’s identity is still secret after Scarecrow mind controls and subsequently institutionalizes him in “Gothtopia,” but I think it’s interesting so I’m going to pretend it’s not shoe-horned in there for meta reasons.

Actually having to see Bruce without the cowl on would definitely permanently break the illusion of Batman as a nightmarish inhuman bat demon, which I’m sure is a large part of the appeal for anyone as obsessed with fear as Jonathan Crane. But Bruce’s creepy eyes would be a serious consolation prize.

Bruce’s favorite of Jonathan’s physical features is rough, because Jonathan is famously not great re: physical features. I’m going to say his mouth, because a) that’s where the snark comes from, and b) the New 52 establishes that in one of their earlier encounters, Jonathan had sewn his own mouth shut, so it’s one of those things where a bad first impression turned positive later on leads to more fondness than if you’d made a good impression in the first place.

I just looked up the panel where he does it and I DID forget how incredibly gross his lips look here, which makes the fact that I have chosen it as Bruce’s feature seem really funny in retrospect. But I do think that seeing Jonathan’s mouth healed and unmutilated would be a reassuring reminder of how he’s stabilized since their first encounter, at least to the point that he isn’t hurting himself anymore. Also, Bruce buys him a lot of chapstick.

Bonus alternate answer that did not make it into the Google Doc:

9. How open are they with their feelings?

Bruce and Jonathan are both pretty competent deceivers in the New 52; Bruce always, Jonathan depending on how the writer is feeling (though you could argue that Bruce just has a stronger grip on reality, while Jonathan’s skill at obfuscation varies with how lucid he is).

...I was going to use Detective Comics #23.3 as an example of Jonathan being a good liar, but actually upon re-reading I’m realizing that only 1/4 rogues buy his attempt at manipulation. So maybe he’s considerably worse at hiding his intentions than he thinks he is. Regardless, he doesn’t ever attempt to disguise his obsession with Batman.

Whether or not he’d express romantic feelings or try to hide them is debatable. There’s no Masters of Fear equivalent in the New 52 establishing that he was ever mocked or punished for expressing romantic feelings for someone, though there is a flashback panel in his origin emphasizing that he was always lonely in this regard (and coincidentally doesn’t specify that his interest is in women, which is fun).

In Green Lanterns #17 he has some internal monologue about how fear is his romance and he needs Batman to feel it, but it is an INTERNAL monologue, so it’s not clear if this is something he would express to Bruce or keep to himself. Or if he’s even fully processed it himself, given how incredibly out of it he is in this comic. Most of his spoken lines are just kind of screaming incoherently. Bruce gets pretty snippy with a Green Lantern at the end of the issue for suggesting that Jonathan should be punished for his crimes as if he were in control of his actions.

Bruce is a similarly complicated answer, since for all his deceptions and shadowy mystery he pretty much wears his heart on his sleeve when it comes to romance. It’s just that his heart doesn’t express or process emotions the same way as anyone around him, which can create conflict. His (seriously underrated) love interest during Scarecrow’s origin arc, Natalya, spent most of her time dating him thinking that he didn’t care about her for this reason. He was trying to express that he loved her, but he mostly did so through complimenting her skills, which she never took as serious declarations of affection because he wasn’t being straightforward and she was insecure.

Jonathan does not himself seem like someone who would be especially secure in the idea of another person having romantic feelings towards him, so I assume that while Bruce might THINK he’s being open with any romantic feelings he develops, he would in reality just be really confusing.

13. How do they react to being away from each other?

I actually think that in general, Jonathan is one of the few people who would have no issue dealing with Bruce’s tendency to unexpectedly go AWOL for long periods of time, given that he himself has a tendency to fixate on his work to the exclusion of everything else.

But New 52 Jonathan specifically probably has pretty serious abandonment issues due to his father putting him in “the pit” and dying before he could take him out, meaning that Jonathan was waiting for his dad to come back for him for God knows how long, until Jonathan Sr.’s employers finally sent the police to investigate.

So while in general I think he wouldn’t be very clingy, any impression that Bruce had died or otherwise wasn’t coming back for him would probably be incredibly triggering. If Bruce could assuage this reaction by occasionally sending updates that at least indicated he was still alive, then I doubt Jonathan would have any problems with his absence.

(@heroes-etc: bruce sending like a checkmark emoji once a day. jonathan hears his phone ping, looks at the screen, and goes hm. good. and doesnt respond.)

Bruce meanwhile has no problem ditching literally any love interest at any time if something crime-related comes up, unless he’s considering quitting the cowl for them (as Joker probably accurately fears will happen with Catwoman in Prelude to the Wedding). But I don’t think he’d stop being Batman for Scarecrow, nor would Jonathan ever want him to — he’s interested in Batman, not necessarily Bruce Wayne.

But even though Bruce wouldn’t have an emotional problem with distance, I think he would get similarly paranoid if they went too long without contact, though for different reasons than Jonathan. Unlike some other villains (*cough* Joker and Riddler), Scarecrow has machinations that don’t require getting Batman’s attention, so if he decided to continue with his less legal experiments, he would not feel compelled to get Bruce involved. While the “World’s Greatest Detective” would probably not have an issue keeping an eye on Jonathan while he’s in Gotham, he’s considerably less capable of that in space. And Jonathan is definitely a rogue he would be obsessed with keeping an eye on, even if he reformed.

Batman & Robin Eternal established that Dick’s first supervillain conflict AND first mission leaving the country was chasing Scarecrow across the world for an entire summer, which is kind of insane considering how early it was in Batman’s career. Like, he did not have an army of children to watch Gotham for him while he was gone. He had one child, and he took that child WITH him. He left Gotham undefended for months, JUST to catch Scarecrow. Sooo that in of itself implies he wouldn’t be great at keeping his distance.

15. Does their view of themselves differ from their partner’s view?

Well, Jonathan occasionally sees Bruce as a giant bat demon, so yes.

Outside of that very obvious differing view, Jonathan in general sees himself and the rest of the rogue gallery as more vital to Batman’s identity than Bruce considers them; the extent to which he’s right varies depending on your interpretation of Bruce’s character, but it’s definitely not something Bruce would ever consciously think or say.

This is related to something that’s definitely a misconception of his, though, which is that the majority of Batman’s job revolves around supervillains like him. In Kings of Fear, when Jonathan blackmails Bruce into letting him come on patrol with him (which is a whole thing in of itself), he’s shocked at how boring most of Batman’s work is. Which probably goes along hand in hand with sometimes seeing Bruce as an almost mythologically inhuman figure.

In his defense, it’s not like he has a lot of context for what the minutiae of Batman’s job is like. He’s either fighting Batman, hiding from Batman, or imprisoned by Batman in Arkham, a place where everyone else also spends all their time fighting or hiding from Batman. Which would really skew your perspective.

Interestingly, Bruce and Jonathan are both people who pride themselves on being extremely self-aware. Both of them probably inaccurately. You can rant about how you have a perfect understanding of your troubled mental state all day long, but if you’re still dressing up like a monster at night to indulge the power fantasies you created as a traumatized child by scaring the hell out of people, there’s probably a level of self-realization you haven’t gotten to yet.

Bruce however is at least self-aware enough to regularly be able to analyze his way out of fear toxin induced hallucinations, which Jonathan is unable to do — when he’s not depicted as having become immune to his fear toxin due to overexposure (as he is in Green Lanterns #17), he can be defeated with the same formulas that Batman regularly manages to resist (like his honestly embarrassing breakdown in Nightwing #50).

Which ties into the difference between how he sees himself and how Bruce sees him: Jonathan obviously visualizes himself as a “master” of fear. He actually has the same internal monologue about fear and trauma that Bruce does in Batman: The Dark Knight #13: “Make it your own... run to what you fear... stare it in the eye... until it whimpers and backs down.” But Bruce doesn’t see Scarecrow as conquering his fear; he sees him as addicted to it, to the point of his own detriment.

Which is interesting, because Jonathan clearly sees his Scarecrow persona as a way to regain control after being victimized by his father’s fear experiments throughout his childhood. I guess Bruce’s perspective would be that Jonathan’s father instead got him addicted to fear as a child, so his attempts at agency as Scarecrow are just a) reliving his trauma over and over and b) compulsively inflicting his own trauma on others. There’s probably some truth to that, even if overall it’s probably an oversimplification (and coincidentally pretty much EXACTLY what Riddler argues Bruce is doing by “funding” Batman in Batman Annual #4, so there’s that).

20. Did either person change at all, to be with their partner?

The obvious answer here is yes, because Jonathan is a supervillain with no regard for human life while Bruce is a superhero who has dedicated his life to protecting people. So presumably one or both of them would have to make serious compromises to be together. HOWEVER. Scarecrow’s primary motivation is to research, understand and inflict fear, while Batman’s modus operandi is making his enemies afraid of him. So despite their contradiction in morals, they’re uniquely positioned to advance each other’s goals, were they to ever join forces.

Bruce never has a problem using fear toxin on Scarecrow, presumably partially out of an “eye for an eye” sense of poetic justice, but also because Batman is practical and it’s a nonlethal weapon that’s always available to him while fighting Scarecrow. If he could have fear toxin customized for his own use, it’s hard to imagine him being unwilling to use it. In Gothtopia he actually advocates for using what’s leftover from Crane’s new formula on all the inmates at Arkham, which seems about as insanely morally ambiguous as it gets. Arguably, putting fear toxin in his smoke bombs would be considerably less wrong than drugging mental patients out of their mind when they’re supposed to be receiving therapy (this is also the issue where he illegally releases Poison Ivy because she did him a favor, which is both morally questionable and relevant to the current topic).

Jonathan obviously already thinks Batman is the most interesting possible case study in fear; it’s why he keeps coming back to Bruce and Gotham despite being one of the more independent villains in Batman’s rogue gallery in the New 52. So though he would have to give up actively kidnapping people (which would be a huge sacrifice, I’m sure), teaming up with Bruce would give him unrestricted access to his favorite test subject. Unfortunately, it seems very possible that he would fall back to old tricks if he ever felt that he’d gotten everything he could out of a partnership with Bruce. Fortunately, that would probably take a VERY long time.

#scarebat #jonathan crane #scarecrow #bruce wayne #batman #ship meme #every day i think about the parallels between bruce and jonathan's childhoods that were set up by their new 52 origins #well. not every day #pretty goddamn regularly #i used to absolutely despise the new 52 scarecrow origin + characterization #but scarebat redeemed it for me

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