#other snz fic

[sfblah]

The Cleanup Crew - Tactical Maid Service

[Next Chapter]

A while back I was waffling on about how I finally wrote something again, and so here it is. I was holding out cuz I wanted to have more of the next chapter(s) finished first, but I figured I should just go ahead and post this before a million years go by. As usual it's a send up of various anime tropes, as well as my inner repressed 16 year old that never stopped playing too many first person shooters.

Female sneezes - Dust

Operation "Hurry"

A spotlight switches on with a sharp kcham, illuminating a circle on the warehouse’s concrete floor. In its center stands a young woman clad in a black and white maid’s uniform, the cloth slightly wrinkled, but hardly noticeable at a distance. She holds her hands together calmly in front of her waist, though only for a moment before she caves to the urge to visor her eyes from the blinding light.

“Alright, last one for today,” grumbles an unseen voice from somewhere up above. After a brief pause, the maid fidgets and points to herself.

“Um, me?” she asks, looking at where she assumes her proctor must be.

“No, behind you.”

The maid turns around, and an incredulous groan immediately follows.

“Yes, you. Jesus, how’d a bucket like you pass selection? Ugh, forget it. Step forward.”

A series of overhead lights activate in sequence, revealing the entrance to the examination course. Still fidgeting, the maid approaches.

“Grab one of the weapons from the table.”

She hadn’t even noticed the table until the proctor pointed it out. Atop the rough wooden surface sits a sawed-off double barrel shotgun, a half-empty box of shells, and absolutely nothing else.

“This is the only one here,” observes the maid.

“You want it or not!?” snaps the voice from on high, startling the trainee half a foot into the air.

“Alright, alright, jeez,” the maid replies, retrieving the weapon. She breaks it open, loads two of her meager collection of shells, and after a brief struggle, slips it into the concealed holster under the back of her skirt.

“Okay, moving right along,” the proctor continues. “Yadda yadda, complete the course as quickly as you can, yadda yadda. By beginning the examination you consent to hrmm meh meh, you waive your right to blah, blah, blah… Look, this is the fiftieth time I’ve read this today. You know what to do, right? Just go through the thing.”

The maid blinks, glancing back and forth between the door and the still-obscured source of the voice.

“Uh. Yeah, totally. For sure.”

A single clap echoes in the rafters.

“Okay, great, great. Start whenever you’re ready. I’m gonna go grab a ham sandwich.”

Footsteps on the catwalk above fade into the distance, leaving the maid to shrug and shake her head.

“Yeah, okay. Rude?” she mumbles to herself, turning to face the entrance to her final test. A plywood facsimile of a foyer is visible through the open door, decorated with a few plastic houseplants. The maid cautiously sticks her head through the threshold, half expecting to be hit in the face by some manner of contraption. To her amazement, nothing happens. Suspiciously so, in fact. She proceeds to creep across the room, eyeing the doors on either side of the far wall, but she slows to a stop when something else catches her attention.

A metal grate is set into the wall. Neither near the ceiling nor the floor, it seems oddly out of place even in the industrial approximation of a manor. Almost as if it isn’t supposed to be there. Looking back over her shoulder, the maid approaches and discovers all but one of the screws meant to hold the grate in place are missing. After one more glance up at the vacant walkways above, she simply swings the grate aside and hauls herself through the opening.

Perhaps a more seasoned operator might have thought to look through the grate at some point before opening it. The unlucky maid assumed she was about to skip ahead in the exam course, but instead she finds herself wedged into a cramped metal duct, arms pinned to her sides and feet kicking uselessly in the air. Before even opening her eyes to take stock of her new surroundings, she stubbornly wiggles herself deeper into the vent.

“Well, this was a stupid idea…”

The test proctor may not have been watching, but the fates were certainly listening. When the maid took a deep breath to gather her strength, she instead succeeded only in filling her big, clumsy nose with dust. Her flailing legs go limp, and the warehouse hangs in silence for a moment before…

“ah-ahh-ahhh-CHOOOO!!!”

The maid’s loud, powerful sneeze did nothing to clear her sinuses. On the contrary, the remaining dust that had settled in the vent was scattered into the air, only exacerbating her need to sneeze again.

“ah-ahh-CHOO!!”

And again.

“haa-CHOO!”

And again…

“ah-ahh… AHH-CHHOOOOOOO!!!”

Her frantic wiggling resumes, adding a chorus of popping and straining sheet metal to the cacophony. Mercifully the duct isn’t especially long, and eventually the maid manages to shimmy and sneeze herself far enough along to free her arms and fully push herself out the other side. She lands upside down in a heap, legs kicking one more time as she gives another “ah-CHOOO!”

The maid rolls herself upright, sitting on the floor of an unexplored part of the test. Instead of reorienting herself, she shakes her head and begins to rub her tickly nose up, down, and all around with the palm of her hand. Finally she cracks one eye open with a thick, wet sniff. The room is dark, but it again appears to be plywood construction with more fake plants.

“Hey, Bucket? Where’d you go?” calls the proctor through a mouthful of food. The maid just manages to register their footsteps approaching from somewhere behind before she folds over with a screamed “HA-CHOOOO!!”

The footsteps quicken to an awkward jog, soon arriving overhead.

“Oh, shit! I didn’t think you’d get this far already. Let me just…”

The room lights up, and the maid has no time at all to absorb her surroundings before cardboard targets burst out of every nook and cranny, and the deafening sounds of recorded gunfire fill the air. If the maid had bothered to stand, imaginary bullets would have already torn her to shreds. Instead she sits in dubious comfort behind a couch, desperately rubbing her nose.

“Intruders! Shoot the targets!” shouts the proctor, scarcely audible over the chaos. The maid fumbles for her shotgun, nearly pulling her skirt down to her ankles before she manages to retrieve it from its holster. Then, barely able to keep her eyes open, she peeks over the back of the couch, points her weapon roughly in the direction of one of the cardboard cutouts, and pulls the trigger.

The recoil sends the maid falling back to the ground, where she remains for a moment as she gasps and heaves forth a strained “ah-ahh-CHHOOO!” She shakily returns to her feet and repeats the process, shooting, falling, and sneezing all over again. This time she doesn’t stand, deciding to reload first. She opens her shotgun and dumps out the two empty shells, then begins to feel around under her skirt for more.

“Remember, switching to your pistol is always faster than reloading!” the proctor advises.

“I don’t have a pistol!” shrieks the maid, kicking her feet up and down.

“Shit, uh, sorry…”

Just as the maid finally manages to fumble a shell into one of her shotgun’s barrels, a falling hunk of metal hits her right on the nose. She screams and covers her face, rolling onto her side and unknowingly kicking her shotgun across the floor. What the hell even was this test? If she’d known she was going to be treated like this, she would have just stayed home and stuck to video games.

Her right hand finds the dropped pistol after a few aimless slaps on the floor. Knuckles white on the grip and breathing heavily through clenched teeth, the maid rises to her feet, takes what she assumes is a shooting stance of some kind, and fires wildly at the remaining targets. She continues pulling the trigger even after she expends her last bullet and the pistol’s slide locks back, only coming down from her rage when the simulated gunfire stops.

Somehow, against all odds, each of the cardboard targets have been neatly punctured. Well, maybe not neatly, but good enough. The maid lets her arms fall to her sides, and soon her jaw and eyelids begin to droop in turn. Her head tips back, her large, teardrop-shaped nostrils flare, and…

“AAHHH-CHHHOOOOOOOO!!!”

And she doesn’t stop sneezing for the next… She doesn’t even know how long. Somebody takes her by the shoulders, leads her somewhere, and someone else begins to address her, all while she continues to sneeze.

“Hello, and allow me to congratulate you on passing your final assessment.” This new voice is lower and softer, not that the maid is able to pay any attention.

“ah-CHOO!”

“Your form says your callsign is ‘Bucket’? Is that right?”

“Aaah-CHOOO!!”

“Wonderful. Let me be the first to welcome you to The Cleanup Crew.”

[slightlyunconventional]

hi snz squad (Sorry. Not funny.) i got some food for the h/awks fans FINALLY sorry for the wait i had writers block for like a month straight 😜 love that. anyway heres about 1.7k of allergic h/awks and some really badly written fighting/sparring LMAO enjoy!!

“You ready, birdie?” Dabi says, his lopsided grin wicked as usual.

“As I’ll ever be,” replies Hawks. The villain’s left hand is swallowed by bright cerulean flames, so hot there’s already faint plumes of smoke puffing out around it. In turn, Hawks draws his two longest feathers and sharpens them with ease, and raises them into a defensive position. He wonders, briefly, who’ll make the first move, then decides that these sparring sessions are for him to improve against fire; Dabi’s skills are perfectly fine as they are (Perhaps. He does sometimes think the man could do with some extra precision training, but he’s here to incinerate, not sauté, so who’s Hawks to judge?). Hawks lunges forward, feather-blades brandished, aiming straight for Dabi. Don’t hold back runs through his head over and over as he moves, the words Dabi keeps having to say to him every time they do this. It’s not Hawks’ fault he’s got such a hero complex. 

“Don’t hold back,” Dabi had said, flexing his wrists after their spar, “There’s no point in doing this if you aren’t gonna show me your full potential.”

Hawks had sighed. “Easier said than done, hot stuff.”

Dabi raised an eyebrow. “Is it?” he said, “You seem to be just fine facing off against any other villain when you’re on fuckin’ hero patrol.”

“That’s different, and you know it,” Hawks had replied, “This is training. I can’t just- make myself fight you properly without good reason.” He let out another long breath and drank from his water bottle.

“It’s cause we fucked, isn’t it?” Dabi had said, smirking. That had made Hawks splutter on his water. He glared indignantly at Dabi.

“Absolutely fucking not,” he declared. “You wish that was why.”

“Relax, I’m just messing,” said Dabi, with that shit-eating smirk still on his face. “Just fight harder next time, or whatever. Ain’t gonna learn anything if you don’t try.” He left the room, and Hawks had frowned after him.

Dabi sidesteps Hawks, but only just. Had he moved a millisecond later, Hawks’ blades would probably have been stuck in him. Whether that’s for the worse or the better, Hawks can’t decide - Dabi’ll probably chastise him for it later, but there’s only so much potential you can exhibit before stepping the boundary of actual murder. The villain’s blue flames have caught on the very edge of Hawks’ feather, and are creeping down its lengths with some pace, threatening to reduce the entire thing to ash. He quickly shakes it out and lifts the blades once again. If he can convince Dabi he’s planning on sticking this whole spar out melee-style, then maybe he can discreetly send some feathers behind for an ambush. He just needs to find the right moment. 

Then, Dabi raises his own hand and throws a stripe of glowing blue fire straight at Hawks. Right as he does so, Hawks takes his chance and releases a few medium-sized feathers, sending them to hover in position behind Dabi, ready to make their move from the rear. He ducks down, and just in time, too, as he feels the searing heat of Dabi’s attack barely inches from the top of his head. He does his best to ignore the sting in his eyes and how every blink threatens to send irritated tears sliding down his face, but it’s unexpected… that doesn’t tend to happen, and there’s normally a whole lot more fire involved in their fights than there is now. But, Dabi’s unrelenting nature doesn’t allow Hawks more than a moment of thought, and he’s almost instantly back upright, sharpened feathers pointing outwards, stalking Dabi back towards the wall. He keeps having to blink against his blurring vision, though, and it’s affecting his focus. If Dabi picks up on it, he doesn’t say anything. There’s still a thin plume of smoke issuing from his feather, too; those flames are no joke. Hawks crosses the feathers in his hands, preparing to drive forward and strike - if all goes to plan, Dabi will assume that’s all he’s going to do, and counterattack accordingly, then Hawks can compromise him with the feathers he has poised behind the villain. If all goes to plan.

And thankfully, it does, if you look past the single tiny snag. As predicted, Dabi releases a billowing explosion of fire straight forwards. Hawks’ blades are both ignited, but that’s neither here nor there, since he’s focused on bringing his other feathers back from behind Dabi, and up to his throat, mere millimetres away from his skin. They aren’t sharpened, but he doesn’t need to know that. Hawks knows he daren’t step into them to test. 

Dabi’s eyebrows lift up, his expression a mix of amused and impressed. “Not bad,” he says, glancing down towards the feathers at his throat. “Not exactly a technique that’ll work every time, but I didn’t see it coming, so that’s gotta count for something.”

Then comes that tiny snag. Hawks stops listening halfway through Dabi’s sentence when his sinuses start stinging like crazy, with such sharpness that it makes his eyes water even more than they already are. He sniffs, half testing the waters, half hoping it’ll make the sting go away, but unfortunately it only makes it worse. Just as Dabi lifts his hands up to incinerate the feathers in front of his neck so they can begin another round of sparring, Hawks sends said feathers rapidly towards the villain’s arms and pins him against the wall.

“Sorry, what–” he begins, startled.

Hawks lifts the fur-lined collar of his jacket and ducks down into it. For a moment, nothing happens, but–

“heHt’sSHHhue!”

Dabi pulls a face. “I swear to God, if you’re doing this and you’ve got a fucking c–”

“ah’hAH-! eH’SHHhyu! No, you cock, I don’t have a cold. I’m not that stupid.”

“You are, but okay,” Dabi says flatly, “Why do I have to be pinned to the fuckin’ wall?”

“‘Cause your psycho ass would probably attack me while I waahhs s-sn-hahh! hheh’sHHh’hiew!”

He pitches forward into his collar again, cutting himself off mid-sentence with a third desperate sneeze. They’re already getting harder to keep in check; and what the fuck is itching this badly? Sure, it’s mid-spring, and his hayfever’s probably acting up a bit, but no way in hell is it this bad. Maybe he’s just… sensitive today. He didn’t bother checking the pollen count this morning, so…

“You think I would do such a thing?” says Dabi dramatically in mock offence, “Sweet, innocent me?”

“Shut up. Yes, you absolutely woul- Jesus– h-haHh!...” Hawks’ breath catches sharply in his throat, but he’s exhaling shakily a moment later. 

“Lost it,” he says, only a little breathlessly, “You are the furthest thing from innocent and we both know that.”

The need to sneeze hasn’t left Hawks, despite the last one having eluded him. It’s laying dormant (for now), an incessant buzzing high in his nose that seems to also be accompanied by profusely watering eyes. He tries scrunching his nose to quell the feeling - it doesn’t help but rather slightly the opposite. Dabi arches an eyebrow at him.

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. You gonna let me go or what?”

“Uhh… oh! Right, sorry. Instinct, I guess,” Hawks says. He withdraws the feathers holding Dabi in place and the villain subsequently takes a few steps towards him. There’s still smoke rolling off of his arms, where he’d used his quirk, and it floats lazily upwards in greyish plumes. That smoke has always been mesmerising to Hawks, the way it curls and twists, almost as gracefully as Dabi’s flames themselves. It seems different to regular smoke, though, realistically it probably isn’t, and Hawks has just convinced himself it is so he has something else about Dabi to admire with childish adoration. The smell of it often clings to Dabi, though, fainter, obviously, but it’s still distinct if you’re up close. It’s filling the air now, the bitter scent comforting, strong, but stinging, and–

“-ah’hHahH-?!” Caught completely off guard, Hawks desperately draws in a staggered breath before he’s truly able to comprehend it. 

“hh’heHSHHh-iihHSCHHh’ue! Huuhh… fucking Jesus–” The double volleys through him with unexpected force, leaving him more than a little winded (but almost certainly not finished).

Dabi’s staring at him now, his expression half concerned, half incredulous. Can’t exactly blame him. He opens his mouth to say something, but Hawks is already cutting him off with another sneeze.

“haH’iihtTSHHhyu!”

“So, about that cold you don’t have?” Dabi says, after Hawks has recovered - for now - with a series of pitiful sniffles and a less than kind rub at his nose with one gloved hand. 

“No, it’s–” his voice wavers slightly as he speaks, “it’s not that, I think it’s, ihh-it’s–”

Dabi shakes his head. “Sneeze first, speak after.”

“Rihhh– right, yeah I– hah-hhaHH’sSHHuuhh! ehHISHHhue! Jeez, okay, done now..” Hawks isn’t one to sneeze loudly per se - they’re usually softer, fairly subdued - but these ones are well on their way there. They’ve got the same intonation as usual, but with the intensity amped up a shocking degree. He’s not quite used to it.

“Done, done?” 

“Yeah, whatever– ‘m not sick, I think it’s your-” Hawks gestures vaguely at Dabi with one hand, and the latter’s eyebrow raises again, “-yourhhHehHTSChhnn!”

“What did I just say?” Dabi says, exasperated, and maybe a little fond.

“Leave me alone, that one didn’t give me any warning-!” whines Hawks in response, “You are so mean to me.”

“I know. Now spit it out, you’ve got me on the edge of my seat,” replies the villain dryly. 

Hawks rolls his still-watery eyes. “Shut up. It’s your smoke, I think,” he finally gets out.

Dabi looks slightly perplexed by this, and he voices it, “Never bothered you before.”

“No, I know, but,” He needs desperately to sneeze again. It’s all-consuming, but he’s determined to at least get a sentence out; “spring allergies’re making me s-sensitive to it.. I think that’s it, anyway–hhah sorry, I reahhllyneedto-hhiihSHHh-ehhH’shHHuue! Ugh.”

“Oh. Okay,” says Dabi, “so probably best we take a break for today, then?”

“Mm, yeah,” Hawks replies, knuckling at his nose. 

“Postmature bless you, by the way,” Dabi says with a funny look. Hawks nearly laughs.

“...Postmature?” 

“Yeah, like the opposite of premature. Is that the opposite of premature? Screw off, you’ve got me questioning myself now,” he replies, trying and failing to hide a stupid smile.

“It is now, I s’pose,” says Hawks, not at all fondly, “Thanks.”

[instarsandcrime]

Ughhhh I am always weak for soft Hu/sk ;-;

An/gel: [Gargling hot salt water in the hotel kitchen before spitting it out into the sink]

Hu/sk: "Sore throat?"

An/gel: [noticeably hoarse] "Hrght-hrmm!... Yeah... losin' my voᵢ𝒸ₑ...Heght-hrmm!"

Hu/sk: "Saltwater helpin'?"

An/gel: "Mhmm,"

Hu/sk: "Think it's from last night?"

An/gel: [nods]

Hu/sk: "Damn...sorry I was so rough while you were givin' me head, Legs..."

An/gel: "Oh no, no babe, trust me- Hrrm!!- I've knocked back way worse than yours... ya' sleep wit' that stupid fan on all night- Snff!- think I'm gettin' a cold,"

Hu/sk: "Ohhhh,"

[nametakensff]

Exorcised this out of me. Sorry k/im 🤷‍♀️

[wickedsniffles]

I offer you my hasty notes for the upcoming P/oolverine:

I've seen so many *amazing* hurt/comfort fics come out of this pairing and I want to throw my hat into the ring. But put my own nasty twist in there 😈

[suddencolds]

.~

[cattewife]

wisteria tour

h/ualian modern au snzfic, INTERLUDE (/part 4)

fandom: m/xtx t/gcf rating: M word count: ~2000 contains: possibly-unreasonable levels of pda allergic!h/ua c/heng & fet!x/ie l/ian semi-public sneezing one (1) in-text illustration on ao3 The perils of good landscaping when you have allergies befall H/ua C/heng, much to his dismay and X/ie L/ian's delight.

>> read it here on ao3! <<

see posts for: part 1 // part 2 // part 3

[shion-yu]

Saint Valentine's Day

Snzblr Valentine for @onetrickponi featuring their OCs Tíbor and Hazel! I really hope you enjoy this and it’s in character - I’m so sorry if it’s off (I know Tíb is super grumpy here and does Tíbor drink/sleep?? Idk but he does today) or too similar to your Christmas wav, it was supposed to be a drawing but it just wasn’t working out. If I ever get happy with the drawing I’ll letcha know tho ;) Thank you so much for organizing this @sneezydarliing!

Hazel thinks Valentine's Day should be a safe holiday. All the "Saint" in the Saint Valentine part has been long since replaced with the glamours of capitalism, so she doesn't expect it'll be as rough on Tíbor as Christmas was. She's hopeful, really hopeful as she does her hair into a twisted braid and ties it at the end. It's when she emerges from the bedroom that she hears it.

“Hiit-chooo! He’unggh-CHOO!... Ehhnngch... Hnngh-SHIEW!”

Yikes. Definitely Tíbor, and definitely the same brand of breathless sneezing that he displayed around the Christmas holidays. Hazel opens the study door to find him huddled in the dark with a soaked handkerchief to his nose. The curtains are closed, but the daylight is enough that she can still see him well. He's hunched at the top of the couch with a blanket around his shoulders and he looks goddamn awful. 

“Hhi-TSHEW! Snnk. Guh. Don't you know how to knock?" Tíbor squints at her, a dirty expression on his face. 

"It's my place, freeloader," she says, crossing her arms and smirking. "Valentine's Day isn't even religious anymore. I thought Jesus would spare you this time."

"The origins of the day are still religious," Tíbor snaps back, shooting her a glare. "Don't you have somewhere to be that's not watching me sn... Snee... SnUHT’DSHhhuih!"

"Ouch,” Hazel comments.

Tíbor groans and rubs his nose which already looks raw and red. The onslaught of sneezes makes him cough roughly; Hazel can tell he's already sneezed himself half hoarse. 

"Tíb, maybe getting out of this room will help," Hazel suggests. "It's so... Cave like in here. Some fresh air might do you good."

Tíbor snorts rudely, and wetly. "Unless we're going to a Bible burning, I'll pass. I'm not exactly in the mood for other people." His nose scrunches up, his eyes squinting, and Hazel knows he's about to start again. He keeps taking shaky, sharp gasps like he's about to, but then nothing happens.

"It's better to let it out," she points out.

"Like it's my choice," Tíbor snaps. "Fuck you - HeHh’UuSHHHuh! Atchhhh...Heitt’CHIUU!"

"There you go,” Hazel says approving at the tremendous sneeze that Tíbor finally manages to release. “Doesn't that feel better?"

"Fuck you," Tíbor repeats solemnly. His eyes look swollen and Hazel feels just a touch of sympathy for him.

"You need to come up with some new comebacks," Hazel says. "Fuck you is getting really lame." She bounds off to the bathroom, where she can still hear Tíbor sneezing tremendously in the other room, poor guy. She finds a box of tissues under the sink and brings it to Tíbor, who's blowing his nose into his soaked handkerchief. "Toss that," she says distastefully. "It's not doing you any good at this point." She hands him the box of tissues, which Tíbor quickly utilizes.

“Nngxxxth! Nngu’zzetCh! Hizzz’shhiu! Ett’NGXTIU!”

"Holy shit," Hazel says. "Ah, sorry. Just shit. Plain, non-holy shit." She giggles a little despite Tíbor's look of disgust. 

"I'm glad this is funny to you," he snaps. "No really. I'm so, so... Glad... Ht'kshht!"

"Alright, that's enough," she sighs, sitting on the edge of the couch and handing him a tissue. "I'm sure you're miserable, so just relax. Do you need anything? Besides this day to be over."

Tíbor blows his nose and then coughs a few times into the tissue. He doesn't have quite the same presence to him when he's like this, Hazel thinks to herself. "Dunno,” he groans.

"Tea?" 

"...If you think it'd help."

"Tea always helps," Hazel said confidently, although she wasn't so sure how demon biology worked. Then again, tea was about comfort more than anything for humans anyways, so it should work the same. She stood to go make him some in the kitchen. "Wait here."

"Not going anywhere," Tíbor replies sarcastically. Indeed, she knows he doesn't move because she can hear him sneezing from the bedroom the entire time she brews them each a cup of black tea. When she returns Tíbor looks exhausted. "This is your fault," he accused her. "I wouldn't have to be here still if you just made up your mind."

"Fine. I wish you'd stop sneezing before your brains drip out of your nostrils, assuming you actually have a brain. That good enough?" 

"No." 

"Didn't think so. Drink up."

Tíbor manages about half the cup before he shoves it hastily in Hazel's direction. "Hazel, I'm gonna-" She barely grabs the cup away from him before he starts sneezing again.

“Hhh-hekgxt! KeTCHhhsu! ETCHhhhiu! Ha-ETCSCHEW!!"

"Gesundheit," Hazel says. 

"Thought you said tea would help," Tíbor whined, sniffling into yet another tissue. He's going through them like hot cakes.

"So finish yours," Hazel says, handing the cup back to him. "It's tea though, it's not a sedative." 

"That would be fucking amazing," Tíbor mutters. He finished the cup anyways. His eyes are drooping tiredly. 

Hazel takes the empty mug away from him and places it on the bedside table. "Have you rested at all?"

"Not really," Tíbor says. "Haven't been able to stop - nn'gshhu!! - sneezing."

"Thanks for the demonstration," Hazel smirks. "Why don't you get some sleep?" 

Tíbor yawns. "You sure that tea wasn't a sedative?" He asks, lying down on the couch. "Made me kinda sleepy." 

"It's just comforting like that," Hazel informs him. 

She stands up, ready to start her own day that doesn't involve babysitting a sneezing demon. She walks to the door, two empty mugs in hand, and is nearly gone when she hears a very small, "Thanks," from under the covers.

Hazel bites her lip and smiles. "No problem. Sleep well, Tíb."

[slightlyunconventional]

long overdue second dbhwks fic (2.8k)

SLAVED AWAY at this for days (i didnt. i could have done it in one but i procrastinated so much it’s unbelievable. but heres some food) quite happy w how it came out too if i do say so myself,, hope u enjoy!! 🫶

-

“Sorry I’m late.” Dabi. He’s picked the damn lock again. 

“Oh my god, do you seriously not know how to knock?” Hawks calls back, practically skipping into the living room. 

“Don’t wanna stand around outside your door like a creep, thanks,” deadpans the villain. Hawks rolls his eyes.

“You look like more of a creep picking the lock, but sure. Come here.”

He takes Dabi by the hand and leads him toward the couch. His fingers are warm, like usual. God, has Hawks missed that. Between hero work, villainy, and conflicting schedules they’d barely had time to see each other and, man, was it miserable. It takes everything in him not to bowl Dabi over with an absolutely suffocating embrace - it’d probably kill the man. 

Dabi raises his eyebrows. “You cleaned?” 

Hawks had expected Dabi to notice, but not point it out, so he’s a little caught off guard by the halfway-question. “Oh, yeah,” he says, a fraction sheepishly, “Is it too much?”

“Mm, no, looks good,” Dabi smirks, “Makes a nice change from all the crap you’ve usually got lying around.” Hawks hits him playfully and he laughs, clear and smooth, not at all like the peals brimming with malice he’d usually hear from Dabi.

“Uuugh, I hate you, leave me alone,” he complains. When Dabi’s eyebrows raise again, Hawks pulls a face and adds, “I’m a busy man! I don’t have time to clean!”

“Yeah, yeah, whatever. I’m flattered.”

He sits Dabi down on the couch, maybe a little too eagerly, and comes down to straddle the taller man’s lap. 

“You’re so pretty,” he whispers, before pressing his lips to Dabi’s with an urgency that only comes from being deprived of seeing one’s lover for far too long. Dabi loosens underneath Hawks and they quickly fall into a long practised pattern, all pretences dropped for this moment of touch-starved tenderness. Nothing exists outside of this room, everything is so warm, and Hawks melts even more when he feels Dabi smile against his lips.

“Seems like someone missed me,” murmurs the villain, voice sleek and low. The response is simply a hand laced through the dyed-black hair at the back of Dabi’s head, taking hold of him and pulling him closer with nothing short of absolute need. In turn, Dabi’s hands find the small of Hawks’ back, and heat begins to pool in his stomach as they slowly threaten to sneak closer to the bases of his wings. And his lips are warm, so warm, and he always seems to know exactly what to do with them to make Hawks collapse like putty in his hands. For a crazed villain who incinerates shit for fun, Dabi’s a fucking good kisser. 

…And a tease, apparently! Hawks knows that Dabi knows how badly he wants this, and how long he’s been waiting - yet he still seems to be taking his sweet time. He can feel the villain absently tracing circles into his back, with the same pace as his mouth is working against Hawks’. The little shit. He knows exactly what he’s doing; well, two can play at that game. Hawks takes it as a challenge, takes Dabi’s scarred face between his hands, and takes control. He presses closer, kissing the man with some previously unseen vigour, practically forcing him to match the increased pace. A little wave of triumph passes through Hawks as he hears Dabi’s breath catch in the back of his throat, nearly silent, but they’re close enough that nothing can really go unheard. Feeling like he’s succeeded, Hawks goes to indulge further, perhaps elicit some more reactions like that, when he feels Dabi’s hand leave his back. Before he can register it properly, the hand is upon his chest, pushing with some insistence. Hawks pulls away, panicked.

“Oh, shit, fuck, sorry, was that too much?”

The arm Dabi has outstretched towards Hawks’ chest slackens slightly, as do his facial features. He doesn’t reply, but rather his lips part and his eyes glaze over, forming an expression so laced with vulnerability that Hawks is almost taken aback - though, he can’t dwell on the display for long, as he’s quickly instead watching Dabi bring his other hand, curled tightly into a fist, up to his own face and press it most firmly to the underside of his nose. His chest rises once with an inhale not unlike before, only this time a little louder and deeper, and he ducks forward slightly with two slightly-awkwardly stifled sneezes.

“hhahh-! ..hh’nGXT! kxNTsh! Ugh, fuck.”

“Oh!” Hawks says, a little surprised, “Bless you.” A part of him wants to chide the villain for holding it in like that, but he refrains, knowing full well he himself would stifle exactly the same.

Dabi hums in lieu of a thanks, and Hawks returns his hand to his boyfriend’s face and leans back in.

“Can I go back to kissing you now?” he murmurs.

Dabi rolls his eyes but drapes his arms lazily over Hawks’ shoulders, an invitation, yes, you can go back to kissing me now. Their lips interlock once again, picking up where they left off, with Hawks feeling absolutely on top of the world from the fact that he’s doing the work here, he’s the one kissing Dabi, not the other way around. He’s never been opposed to Dabi taking control, in fact he loves being ravaged by the man, but sue him, sometimes it feels good to be the one doing the ravaging. However, his elation at this seems to be poorly concealed, or perhaps Dabi just wants to knock him down a peg, because Hawks feels teeth closing on his bottom lip. Not so hard that it hurts, but just enough to tease an audible gasp from him as he tenses up on Dabi’s lap. He’s fairly certain he’s never needed someone all over him so badly until this point. Clearly it shows, too, since Dabi insists on being such a menace and playing the long game with him. Well, Hawks decides that’s not going to fly; he presses in closer, almost entirely closing the gap between them and slides his other hand behind Dabi’s head, not-so-subtly tugging him closer and kissing him harder, once more regaining the upper hand. He takes to gently thumbing back and forth against the base of Dabi’s neck, to which the man lets out, involuntarily, a little noise of satisfaction, finally accepting submission. Hawks is almost tempted to bite Dabi back, but maybe that’d be pushing his luck. Besides, this side of Dabi - soft, pliant, accepting - is one he rarely sees, and he’s kind of into it. It’s a good look on the villain. 

Before long, however, their rhythm is broken once again. One of the arms laying around Hawks’ neck begins to move, and the hand meets his shoulder. Hawks has a sneaking feeling he knows what’s coming (for the second time), as Dabi’s hand pushes against his shoulder - slowly, though, as if he’s really trying to prolong the inevitable. It really doesn’t seem like he wants to pull away, so Hawks does it for him, gently separates their faces, strangely endeared by Dabi’s reluctance - and it seems he did so at exactly the right moment. Being so close to him, Hawks can easily see the way his face immediately crumples, eyes flickering shut and lips parting with an inhale that sounded as though it had been waiting to be drawn for… a while. In a split second, he’s tugging the sleeve of his hoodie over his hand with some urgency, and Hawks catches the flare of his nostrils right before he pinches his nose, clamping the thick black fabric over the bottom half of his face. There’s hardly six inches between the two of them, so Dabi twists awkwardly to the side with a set of cruelly stifled sneezes.

“hh’GKTtch! ‘KXXSHh! Ugh, god– h-hahH’KGXt’sh!”

They sound harsher this time around, harder to stifle, probably.

“Bless,” says Hawks, “You okay?”

“Mm… yeah, just something really… stings,” Dabi replies. He’s knuckling the side of his nose with some force.

“You’re, uh, not getting sick are you?” Hawks asks, unable to conceal the tinge of nervousness that seeps into his tone. As much as he loves the man, he’s got some long days on patrol coming up soon, and a cold from Dabi would severely compromise him.

Dabi raises an eyebrow. “I’m not that much of an asshole, Kei.”

“Right-! Yeah, no, of course not. Sorry, I didn’t really think there.” Hawks grimaces internally at himself, and Dabi shakes his head.

“Ugh, Jesus, hold on–” He turns away again, breath wavering, “hehh’nGXKt!” A shaky exhale escapes from him as he releases his nose.

“So, what’s got you all worked up, then?” asks Hawks, teasing.

Dabi half-sighs, half-groans, and replies, “Don’t know, but I wish it would fucking stop.” As if for emphasis, the sentence is punctuated with an irritated-sounding sniffle.

“Well, it probably would if you stopped stifling like that,” Hawks says pointedly. That earns him a hazy blue-eyed glare… that doesn’t last long, since Dabi’s squinting again, and his mouth curls up into the beginnings of something akin to a snarl. Hawks smirks as he ducks into the crook of his sweater-clad elbow to muffle yet another sneeze.

“hehH’DSHHh’uh! What the fuck?”

At least he didn’t stifle it.

Hawks hums. “Bless you.” He sends a feather to retrieve a box of tissues, then decides the villain probably also needs some space, so he manoeuvres himself gracelessly off Dabi’s lap to sit beside him on the couch. 

“Very elegant,” Dabi remarks.

“Ugh, shut up,” he replies, elbowing Dabi in the ribs. The laugh this elicits almost straight away rises into a staggered gasp, that itself turns into a pair of hastily covered sneezes.

“hhahH’KXXTshuh! hh’huuhh’DZSHHhue!”

“Jeez, bless you.”

Dabi sniffles thickly. “Yeah.”

Hawks’ feather zips back into the room and drops a box of tissues into Dabi’s lap - the thicker, softer ones that the hero always insists on buying despite them being double the price of regular ones. 

“Sounds like they’re getting stronger,” Hawks observes, a note of concern in his tone, but then adds, more teasingly, “Not allergic to me, are you?”

Dabi scoffs and tugs a couple of tissues from the box. “I wish,” he says, scrubbing at his nose. “Then I’d actually have an excuse to avoid your annoying ass.”

“Wow, okay, that was so uncalled for. Just say you hate me at that point.”

It’s Dabi’s turn to elbow Hawks back. He probably deserves it. 

 “Ow, bitch,” he says in mock offence. 

“You’re the bitch,” comes the reply, from behind a handful of tissues (which are then promptly screwed up and tossed, flying in a neat arc, straight into the trash on the other side of the room). 

“Whatever, bitch. Are you done sneezing yet? This couch isn’t as comfy as your thighs-”

“Ugh, shut up, you are so weird,” Dabi interjects in fond disgust. 

“Oh my god, what if you’re allergic to my apartment being clean? Then I never have to clean ever again, hah!”

Dabi gives him a look. “You say that as a joke, but honestly, you migh-might be right…hh.. hehH’KXNTtsh’uh!”

Dabi’s expression falls midway through his sentence, brows drawing together and eyes narrowing as he gives into another sneeze, hastily half-stifled against the back of his hand.

“Seriously,” Hawks deadpans, eyebrows raised. That’s new, he thinks.

“Well, unless you’ve suddenly acquired a pet cat - which I doubt - then yeah, seriously,” says the villain flatly, though with a note of congestion starting to creep into his voice. “Last I checked, your place didn’t reek of fuckin’ –all of spring and then some.” 

Hawks suddenly remembers the air freshener he’d used–the only one he had, some floral one found right at the back of a cupboard, unused for entirely too long. He hadn’t had a clue what clean apartments were supposed to smell of, so he’d sort of just… went ham with it. Definitely a mistake.

“Don’t slander my choice in scents,” he teases, “Are you sure it’s… that?”

“Nothing else changed ‘round here, has it?” Dabi pauses to give his nose a brief rub. “I’m here practically every week and I’ve been fine, so, you tell me.”

Hawks will never not poke the bear when he’s got the opportunity, so he says, “So this does mean I never have to clean the place ever again, right?”

Dabi’s mouth falls open as he feigns offence. He says, dramatically, “Wow. That’s all you have to say? When I could literally die right now in front of you? I’m.. hah- I’m-”

Hawks snickers. “Bless you,” he sing-songs prematurely, utterly pleased with himself. It’s almost cute, the attempted glare Dabi gives him through his glazed over expression. Nobody can look menacing in the slightest when they’re trying not to sneeze (and that’s a fact!).

“Sh-shut uhhhp..” replies Dabi, his voice quavering. He lifts a hand slowly, bringing it to hover weakly before his face. His breathing is unsteady and his eyes half-lidded, and the crease between his dark brows deepens.

“Okay, point proven, idiot,” Hawks says with a laugh, “Just sneeze, this is torture even for me.”

The hazy glare returns, and Hawks clocks it. 

“Oh!” he laughs, giving Dabi a slightly bewildered smile. “Oh my god, I jinxed it. You deserve that ‘cause you’re mean to me.”

“I hahh-hate you-” Dabi responds breathily. He rubs at the side of his nose with two knuckles, pressing decently harder than is probably necessary. The bridge crinkles in irritation when the rubbing clearly has no effect. “Jesus, it won’t go away.”

“Mm, what a shame.”

There goes a third bleary glare from the villain. “I’d like to remind you wh-whose fault thhihhs.. was in the first place,” he says. Any malice intended to be behind his utterance is immediately negated by his breath catching and wavering through the words. Though, at a point, Hawks begins to feel a little… voyeuristic just watching Dabi struggle. Sure, he’s his boyfriend and all, and yeah, he’s definitely seen worse, but it’s easy to tell Dabi’s getting a little self-conscious about this… spectacle. He’s never been a fan of having things out of his control, especially not displays of vulnerability like this, and Hawks knows this, so why prolong it?

“Well, I guess there’s only one thing for it,” he says, taking matters into his own hands. 

“Fuck off- what–” Dabi gets out, as Hawks takes his face between his hands and begins to press kisses softly down the bridge of his nose. Hawks doesn’t let him twist away from it, trying not to laugh to himself about how dumb this probably looks. At least one of them is having fun. He considers pulling away with a “Gonna sneeze yet?”, but refrains - he’d probably end up on fire. He does, however, pause for a moment when he reaches Dabi’s trio of silver nose studs, hovering. There’ve been feathery, wavering breaths coming from his boyfriend consistently but, nothing has come to fruition, so Hawks decides–those piercings have always been sensitive, a fact he’d discovered about Dabi rather early on (and maybe, possibly sometimes used to be a menace). He plants a final, delicate kiss right upon where the three studs lie, and finally lets Dabi pull away.

“Oh, oh, fuck– s-screw you–hh’ehH’IIDTSSHh’uh! ‘kXXTS’SHhue! …Christ, you’re such an ass.” The pair of sneezes that result are harsh to say the very least. And even after all that, he still tries stifling the second– unsurprising, but at that point is it even worth it?

 “Sorry! I had to!” Hawks says, really trying to look like he isn’t laughing. It doesn’t work.

“You absolutely did not have to,” corrects Dabi. 

“Okaaay, okay, sorry. It was funny though.”

“Yeah, for you, maybe,” Dabi mutters, shaking his head, “Oh, fuck’s sake, hold on–”

“I’ll wait till you’re done to say bless you, this time,” says Hawks with a fond snicker. 

“Good plah-an–! hhuh’hHDSHH’SHuh! …Ugh, fuck.”

“Bless,” Hawks replies. He averts his eyes, a little sheepishly. Dabi pulls a face.

He asks, “What the fuck’s with the guilty face?” to which Hawks throws his head back with a groan and slides his hands across his face.

“I just wanted to do something nice,” he says, “You know, clean the place up a bit. Since it’s always kind of a massive mess.”

“Jesus, Kei, I don’t care about that,” says Dabi, breathing a laugh. “It’s you I’m here for, not your fuckin’ apartment. I can kiss you whether or not there’s crap on every surface.”

Hawks isn’t used to Dabi outright saying nice things, so his cheeks flush slightly hearing this. He’s unsure what to say. Thankfully, Dabi speaks again.

“Okay. Where didn’t you spray that shit?”

Hawks scoffs. “I sort of went crazy with it, uh… my bedroom? If that works?”

“Very forward,” Dabi replies, raising his eyebrows. “Almost like you wanted me in there.”

Hawks jabs him in the ribs but still smirks. “Yeah, maybe I did.”

[instarsandcrime]

Oooh! I love all of this!! The pre-Fall eden crew are so underrated and hard to find here! 12/10 we love to see it. And the messy fits? Hello???? Keep up the good work! ❤️

Pollen of Eden

yippee first Hazbin Hotel fic (excluding that really old one I wrote when I was like 14 😭)

I’m pretty happy with how this turned out. Decided to jump on the bandwagon of writing Ad//am fics. Enjoy.

1089 words

| I am allowed to write what I want and I would appreciate it if you keep whatever rude comments you have to yourself |

The Garden of Eden is the closest to the idea of perfection that is possible, in the mortal realm that is. Adam and his wife Lilith shared the beautiful paradise. Despite being “married”, the two didn’t always enjoy each other's company. However, at the same time, the only company they had was each other. Minus the archangel Saint Lucifer who often came down to chat with Lilith. Something about him left a bad taste in Adam’s mouth. Recently, Lilith had only wanted to be with Lucifer. Adam was a bit jealous to say the least. Who wouldn’t be? You and your partner have a beautiful home to live in together and all they want to do is talk to some goofy angel.

Today was another one of those days where the two had a disagreement and parted ways for a bit. It was always over the littlest things. This particular time it had been about Lilith never wanting to spend any time with him. Adam got fed up and walked a good distance away to be by himself. He found a nice spot in the shade under some trees by a pond. The area surrounding the pond and trees was littered with various flowers. Sitting down, he sighs. He closes his eyes for a bit and only opens them again when he realizes that a duck has made itself comfortable in his lap. “What do you want?” He glared at the duck. Lucifer often spent time rambling on about how much he liked ducks and even gave Lilith her own duckling, which she named Petal. Seeing this duck only reminded him of the two. “You and your little duck friends are always all over the place.” The duck looked back at him, cocking its head and quacking in response. Adam chuckles. “Am I really so desperate for someone to talk to that I’m conversing with a duck?” He gives it a pat on the head.

A gentle breeze blew through the trees and flower field. The duck fluffed his feathers to keep warm. Adam smiled seeing how peaceful and happy it seemed all comfy in his lap. A flower slowly drifted through the air and landed on the ducks back. Picking up the flower, Adam smelt it. He isn’t quite sure what type of flower it is, but it certainly smells nice. Maybe he’ll give it to Lilith as an apology for-

“-’dDSHh-EH!!” His newly found duck friend jerks its head up and looks at him. “Sorry buddy,” he smiles. “Didn’t mean to wake yo..” He paused for a brief moment, tilting his head back slightly. “hEDd’shoo!!” The duck quacks a few times. Whether it be sympathy or annoyance isn’t clear. Nonetheless, it remains on his lap. As the wind continues to blow, pollen from the surrounding trees and flowers drifts through the air. “HDd’tchoo! heEH’d-shEH!!” He rubs his nose, trying to relieve the itchy tickling sensation. He hadn’t been allergic to any of the flowers in the garden before. Maybe this was simply God's way of telling him to stop being jealous. Regardless, he was allergic to the ones currently around him. “ehH-!! hEH!! Heh-!! Ugh.” Yep. This was karma. At least that’s the only explanation he could come up with. His newly found duck friend shakes off some of the pollen that had collected on his feathers. Despite turning to face the other direction and holding his breath, the irritant still makes its way into his system. “hHED-shUH!! hIH heEH-!! Bringing his hand to his face, he holds his nose shut to try and keep from making too much of a disturbance despite being alone (minus the duck). “-ptschh! ‘ktchs!! -dschs!! -tschh!!”

Upon realizing that refusing to let them out was getting him nowhere, he gave up trying to keep quiet. “hED’ch-EHH!! HdD-tcsch!! Eh-t’choo!! I hihh!! ca-ah!!n’t st-stop sne-EH!! hHE’TSCH-UH!!” The force of the last sneeze leaves him with thick snot pouring out from his nose and running down his face. “Eugh”, he grimaces at the thought of what he could possibly look like if someone were to be watching him. A loud gurgling sound is made as he attempts to snort back what he can of the snot back into his nose. Wiping his nose on the back of his hand, he absent mindedly glances down at the grass. It is only then that he notices a red and white corn snake. In a panic, he quickly grabs the duck, stands up and kicks the snake. We don’t recommend doing this under normal circumstances. “Get lost!!” The snake goes flying back in the direction of which it came. Sighing, he checks the area around him for any other snakes before sitting back down.

“Lucifer? Is everything alright? I thought I heard someone shouting.” Lilith wanders through the forest for a bit before finding the red and white corn snake draped over a tree branch like someone's laundry left out to air dry. “Lucifer!”

“I think I may have sssscared him a bit. Oopssss.”

She rushes to take him out of the tree and sets him on the ground. Turning back into an archangel, Lucifer smiles. His hair is a bit messed up but other than that he seems fine. “He is a short way down there. He’s sitting with a duck on his lap.” Lilith smiles. “Thank you, Lucifer.” With a small puff of smoke, the archangel turns into a small dove. Adam is much less likely to be scared that way. Flying alongside Lilith, the two find Adam sitting under the tree. “Adam, dear?” Adam looks up at his wife, smiling. “Hey.” As she sits next to him, he holds out the flower. “I snf wanted to give this to you.” He tucks it into her hair. Lilith giggles. “Thank you Adam.” She kisses him on the cheek. “I thought you’d like it. I know purple is your fa-..heh..hEH-Choo!! eEH’ShOO!! Hed’DCHOO!” He turns away to keep from sneezing on her. Laughing, she wraps him in a hug. “Thank you Adam. I love it.” Adam blushes. “I’m snff glad you li-iIH!!-ke i-IIHT’sSH-Eh!!” Lilith kisses him again, this time on the mouth. “Bless you, love.” The dove lands on Liliths shoulder and she looks at him, nodding. He flies without their field of vision before returning to his angel form and going back to heaven.

God forbid Adam slip up and hurt Lilith. Lucifer now has something he can use against him. But that won’t be necessary. Angels are merciful after all. Right?

[nametakensff]

Good day at work (S/teddie)

Yeah so this happened - the shortest smut fic I have ever managed! 1.8k of S/teve and E/ddie being kinky and in love

S/teve gets back from an unexpectedly arousing encounter at work and immediately seeks E/ddie out for some fun

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Content:

M/M, established relationship (maybe just under a year or so in), both S/teve and E/ddie have the fetish, E/ddie gets off to his own sneezing (but it doesn't really come up so much in this fic), handjobs, mentions of blowjobs, E/ddie and S/teve both getting off to accounts of previous sneezing incidents, mild voyeurism, masturbation, some fetish related dirty talk, mentions of allergy sneezing, no actual in-person sneezing now that I think about it - just accounts of it

CW: descriptions of spit, graphic descriptions of cum, S/teve doesn't ask before initiating sexual activity

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NSFW, minors please DNI!

Eddie started slightly at the abrasive click of the lock as Steve let himself into their apartment. He looked up from his book with a smile but barely had the chance to offer a verbal greeting before Steve was pressed up against him and squeezing his junk through his sweatpants.

“Uhh…” He muttered dumbly, watched as Steve yanked said pants down his hips and pulled his soft cock out of his underwear, starting a gentle but steady rhythm of stroking and squeezing. It felt great almost immediately; Eddie let out a shaky exhale and leaned back against the couch cushions he’d already been propped up against, head resting on the arm of the couch as he read a new fantasy paperback in their living room.

“I missed you too, Stevie, holy fuck…”

He gasped at a particularly firm squeeze to the head of his cock before Steve trailed his fingers back down the shaft and started pumping in earnest, much easier now that Eddie was hardening at an almost embarrassingly rapid rate.

“Good day at work?” He asked, putting his book to one side and allowing himself to lay back completely and let Steve pleasure him for all he was worth. A lazy smile quirked up at the corners of his lips as he peered at Steve through lidded eyes.

Steve huffed a small laugh and gazed back at him, pupils already blown and, if Eddie wasn’t mistaken, with a slight blush dusting his cheeks.

“You could say that.” Steve muttered, before briefly releasing Eddie’s cock and placing his cupped hand under the older man’s mouth. “Spit for me.”

Eddie did so, continuing to stare up at Steve, heated gaze unshakeable. Steve watched him back, though his eyes soon followed the trail of liquid pooling in his palm. Satisfied with Eddie’s efforts, he gripped his cock once again and started to pull and tease at an even faster rhythm aided by the added slickness. Eddie was gasping, hips bucking upwards and cock twitching in the cage of those clever fingers.

“Not that I’m complaining, honey,” He was cut off by his own moan as Steve’s other hand started to massage his balls. “But to what – hah – what do I owe the pleasure?”

Steve was really blushing now. It was painfully erotic to Eddie, watching his boyfriend squirm like this even as he worked his cock with the skilled grip of a god damn sex wizard. He was never shy about sex unless it was something distinctly…kinky in nature. Eddie waited as patiently as he was able, thighs flexing and almost pushing a seated Steve off of the edge of the couch as they spread wider, beyond his control.

“There was this guy, came into the store.” Steve started after a few more moments of weighted silence. “He kept on…sneezing. And it sounded like you.”

Eddie’s cock throbbed, this delicious piece of information skyrocketing his arousal even higher.

“Yeah, baby?” He licked his lips reflexively. “Did it drive you crazy?”

Steve’s breath hitched in excitement, an incredibly pleasing sound to Eddie’s ears.

“Y-yeah. I could barely concentrate. I wanted to watch him, but…”

“Too shy?”

“Mhmm.”

Eddie moaned, a low gravelly sound as Steve picked up the pace. He was getting close already, could feel the tension building in his stomach, squirming as he fucked back up into that intoxicating grip.

“Tell me more, Stevie.”

Steve moaned himself, caught up in the kinkiness of it all and at the sight of his boyfriend edging closer and closer to orgasm.

“He walked round for a while – I was stacking shelves in the horror section – or was it romance? Sorry, doesn’t matter, um – yeah – he was walking around looking for – something. But he just never stopped sneezing. A couple of sneezes, every like, twenty seconds or so. And he didn’t hold back at all. I think he must have been sneezing all over the videos.”

Eddie gasped, using both hands to grip the couch, simultaneously tensing and bucking as his orgasm lunged even closer. He could practically taste it at this point, so monumental in such a short amount of time.

“Ahh – Steve – don’t stop. Fuck – fuck! Gonna come soon, baby-!”

Steve didn’t stop, didn’t even falter, kept tugging at his sack and milking him with those long, tan fingers. He didn’t stop talking either, and Eddie let the visuals of his boyfriend’s story push him even further towards the edge.

“It went on like that for five minutes before I just couldn’t take it anymore. I was so hard–"

“Ohh, Steve, fuck,”

“-and I just shouted some kind of excuse over to Robin and hauled my ass to the bathroom. I could still hear him-“

“Fuck, ohh, fuck,”

“-and I pretended it was you. I jerked myself until I came all over the place, thinking about you-“

“Steve-! M’cumming, gonna cum-!!”

“-and how good it would feel to have you sneeze all over, on my face, on my cock-“

Eddie couldn’t take it anymore, gasped and shuddered before fucking up into Steve’s fist once, twice more before his orgasm crested dramatically. He felt Steve working him through it, elevating and elongating his pleasure as he strained and pulsed and spilled. It was intense, his head thrown back and face twisted in a rictus of ecstasy as his nerves came alive. But like any orgasm, it was fleeting, and he was finally flopping back against the sofa, muscles unlocking and feeling for all the world like every bone in his body had melted.

“Ohh, god, Steve…” He managed, laughing softly as the rush of endorphins left him giddy and pliant.

“Mm, that good, baby?”

Eddie managed to lift his head back up, peering down the length of his body at Steve.

“So good, holy shit. Come here.”

He opened his arms for Steve to crawl into, but to his disappointment his boyfriend got to his feet instead. Though confused, Eddie was satisfied to see the younger man's own massive erection straining against his skin-tight Levi's.

“Steeeeve, I said come here.” He whined.

“One second, Eds. I need to clean you up. You made a mess, babe.”

Eddie blinked. Oh, right. He did just totally jizz everywhere, come to think of it. He glanced down and noticed for the first time the lengthy stripes of cum glistening in an obscene series of spurts all over his Iron Maiden t-shirt. And if he wasn’t mistaken then that sticky sensation as he moved his head meant he’d actually managed to come on his own neck, and a little on the couch cushion beside him.

“Damn.”

“You can say that again.” Steve was back with a box of tissues – the very one that Eddie had been too lazy to bring with him into the living room earlier that day.

“Da-“

“Shut up.” Steve laughed at him and started to dab at Eddie’s shirt before realising the full extent of the damage.

“Yeah, no, this is coming off.” He scrubbed off as much surface level cum as he could before pulling it over Eddie’s head, ignoring the petulant protests as the older man was yanked up by his shoulders. His grin widened as a shirtless Eddie flopped back against the couch, looking disgruntled and thoroughly irritated at the manhandling so soon after his climax.

“Sorry, sorry,” Steve chuckled, hovering forward and pressing kisses to Eddie’s face.

“You missed a spot.” Eddie grumbled, and Steve leaned back with furrowed brows.

“Here,” Eddie motioned to his neck. “And here.” He pointed at the couch cushion.

“Damn, Munson. You fucking sharp shooter!” He laughed, using a new tissue to clean Eddie’s throat as he tilted his head back with a gentle hand to his chin.

“Not a sharp shooter if my aim is fucked. How the fuck did it get over there?!” He giggled, watching as Steve tried his best to scrub his cum from the upholstery.

“You come like a fucking fire hose, I guess. At least none got in your hair.” Steve smirked, taking a moment to tuck Eddie’s cock back into his underwear and pull up his pants before crawling into the embrace of his boyfriend’s re-opened arms. They lay like that for a while, Steve’s erection flagging slightly but still digging persistently into Eddie’s hip.

“Mm.” Eddie nuzzled into Steve’s neck, taking in the familiar smell of his skin, his cologne and hairspray. “You look like such a dork in your little work vest. It’s sexy.”

“You look like a dork full stop. Also sexy.” Steve murmured back, sounding for all the world like he was the one who had just come his proverbial brains out and needed the rest.

“Falling asleep on me, big boy?”

“Hmmf.”

“You’re like a middle-aged dad of three. I can’t really return the favour if you leave this sphere of consciousness, honey.”

“Don’t h’ve to. Did that fr’you, not me.”

“I want to do it for you too, Stevie. Want your gorgeous cock in my mouth. I’m serious about the vest. You’re so fucking cute.”

Steve sighed peacefully against him and cuddled into him closer, sharp nose nuzzling into his neck. Eddie held him tight, feeling so unbelievably happy and content in that moment that his eyes nearly prickled with tears. After a beat, Steve wriggled in his grip and turned them so that they were face to face. They kissed for a while, lazy and languid, until Steve pulled back and leaned his forehead against Eddie’s.

“Can we go upstairs? I really want to make love to you, if that’s okay.”

Eddie smirked.

“Make love, huh? And all this time I thought we were just fucking.”

Steve looked temporarily mortified before he recognised the tenderness in his boyfriend’s eyes. The sudden shifting of his features from ‘Oh, god, that was lame’ to ‘Oh, okay, it was not’ was so fucking sweet that Eddie’s heart felt like it was on the verge of exploding.

“Yeah, Stevie, I’d really like that.”

They cuddled and talked for a little longer before Steve was pulling Eddie to his feet and leading them up the stairs to their bedroom.

“Eddie, could you, um?”

“Sneeze for you? One step ahead, baby.”

“You’re so hot and so annoying about it.”

“That should have been my yearbook quote.”

Steve sat down on the bed and held out an arm for Eddie to join him. The metalhead considered this for a moment before dropping to his knees between Steve’s legs instead. Steve reached down and ran a hand affectionately through Eddie’s messy curls before cupping his cheek in his palm.

“Want you to cum in my mouth before you fuck me.” Eddie smiled up at him, nuzzling into his hand. “That good with you?”

“Yeah,” Steve sighed, pupils blown wide as Eddie unzipped his jeans and started to pump his cock in his fist.

“But first, I think I should tell you about my day, too.”

Steve quirked an eyebrow.

“Oh? Okay. Go ahead.”

Eddie grinned.

“So, this morning, after you left? I had the most insane little tickle in my nose. Must’ve sneezed at least thirty times before I could even get out of bed to take my meds. This ragweed is absolutely wrecking me.”

“Ohh, you fucker.” Steve smirked, clocking onto Eddie’s game.

“And that was just first thing this morning. Wait ‘til I tell you about this afternoon...”

Steve didn’t even make it to lunch.

[thedevillionaire]

Hi, I hope this is all right asking like this. I found your blog and fics recently and they're amazing, I love them. I was wondering, do you have a meet cute for Ceberus and Kia, and if you don't is that something you would maybe consider writing some time? Thank you!

Hey, anon, and thank you back for the lovely compliment! ❤️ So...I do have a meet cute - well, a meet, anyway; you get to decide whether it's cute or not, I guess 😅 - but it's vanilla, I'm afraid. This is not the first time I've been asked about how they met, though, so I'm finally activating the "vanilla fic holding place" sideblog I've thought about activating for, uh...quite a while. Anyhow, if you've got any interest in that at all, I actually have a whole series of this stuff and if you still want to check it out you can find the fic of first time they meet here.

[suddencolds]

.

/personal

if i had a quarter every time i read something this year and came away disproportionately attached to a central character named peter, i would have two quarters

[instarsandcrime]

Oooh, how did I miss this??? It's adorable!! And Lu/ci/fer x Li/lith is so hard to find too!!! Thanks for making such a wonderful fic! 😁

A burden shared

(this is a hurt + sickfic for Luci/Lilith, there isn't alot of snez in this but, i like it honestly and I hope ya'll do too. CW description of a battle field, death, injuries and blood (nothing too gory, i'm not a monster))

This was the end, the end of his life as a Seraphim, as the angel of death, as god’s favorite, all because he dared to dream. He weakly looked up at the red sky of Hell’s pride, the angels and exorcists were now flying back up to heaven leaving him and Lilith to pick up the pieces of their new home. Bodies were everywhere, bodies of sinners and a few hellborns lay dead in the streets. The clouds darkened with rain, harsh winds blew through their bodies with vengeance. Lilith watched her husband weakly stagger to his feet, stumbling through craters of the earth, tip toeing around entrails of what remained. He approach an old abandoned worn-down castle. Lucifer knew he didn’t have much strength left, he used most of what he had to fight to try and stay in heaven or to protect and heal Lilith. Still, they needed somewhere to stay, so he pressed his hands to the walls and with the last bit of magic, he had transformed it to its reformed state.

“Lucifer what are you doing!?” Lilith asked as she limped up behind him

“If we’re going to be down here, we might as well make the best of it” Lucifer smiled softly right before collapsing. Lilith grabbed him before her lover could hit the ground, she watched as the castle changed, its color becoming brighter, bricks falling back into place. Some of the other angels that fell alongside Lucifer-that weren’t gravely injured or dead- hurried to open the doors for her. Lilith carried Lucifer inside while being followed by her fellow fallen, for a while they took residence on the ground floor until they were strong enough to adventure upwards. Many of the appliances and furniture from the inside needed a mend or updating but it was better than being stuck out in the pouring rain.

When she found the-what would be considered- the master bedroom, she laid Lucifer down gently and began to bandage up what she could while he was unconscious. As a day or two went on some kind demons would bring over what they could to help. The change overnight was overwhelming, to say the least. Going from living in heaven and now in hell was jarring, they had lost everything, their home, their food, and those they thought would never betray them were the ones to almost kill them!

When Lucifer was conscious they both had to grapple with their new reality and it wasn’t easy. Still, they’d make do with what they had.

“ih! IIZZSCHYUE!” “Bless you, Luci, darling are you sure you’re alright?” Inquired Lilith as she let her husband help wash the dried blood from her body. Lucifer nods while rubbing at his nose with a wet sniffle.

“Yes dear, I’m alright. How are you doing?” “Still a bit sore but, better than yesterday, thank you.” Lilith kissed the top of his head while pushing his wet hair out of his face with a soft smile. It was good to see him finally not covered in golden blood. However, she couldn’t tell if it was because he was still recovering or if he had caught something. He had been sneezing since they woke up, his throat sounded painful and strained, not to mention the sniffling. Lilith did manage to sustain a few bad injuries herself, some Lucifer was able to heal himself, though others still needed time.

“I’m so sorry you got dragged into this Lili flower, you didn’t deserve this.” He apologized as he continued to wash Lilith’s body letting her blood be rinsed off and drained by the shower. Lilith shook her head and cupped his face in her hands making him look up at her. Her eyes met his with an adoring glint.

“I followed you by choice Lucifer, I followed you on my own volition, I chose to stick by you and I wouldn’t have it any other way. There’s no need to apologize my love” Lucifer looked up at her with admiration, oh how he loved her so much. Just as he was finishing up to let Lilith wash him up he let out a sudden

“Ih’kgnk! Gnnx-chiew! Hgk-chiew!” A wince and a groan slipped from his lips and he clutched his sides. Lilith quickly reached for him cautiously fearing he would fall over. Lucifer held onto the wall to steady himself and gasped out.

“Sorry, I-I’ll be okay.” Lilith shook her head at this and asked for Lucifer to be honest with her. The blond-haired demon twiddled his fingers a bit while muttering.

“Bm-maybe I’m a little under the weather. Ndothing serious I promise.” Lilith didn’t fully trust his answer, turning off the shower she grabbed a towel and wrapped him and then herself up.

“Stay here and dry off, I will go and fetch fresh warm pajamas and bandages, fix you up and you’ll be off to bed.” She says while carefully sitting Lucifer down on the closed toilet before leaving the bathroom. Lucifer couldn’t help but feel bad for her doing all this for him, he should be able to take care of himself he was the king of hell for hell's sake! But here he was sitting covered in stab wounds, bruises, gashes, and scars. Pathetically snuffling and sneezing while his wife who was still healing from her own injuries was taking care of him. He grumbled to himself while wiping his runny nose on the towel. He didn’t feel as bad when he woke up, but now it was starting to settle in. The aching grew worse with any sort of sudden movement, especially to his chest and ribs. He felt like he couldn’t get warm, his body still shivering underneath the thick fluffy soft towel. His head was clogged with congestion even with his nose running like a broken faucet. And don’t even get him started on his poor throat!

Lilith came back dressed in a casual nightgown with a first aid kit in hand. She went through and rebandaged his injuries trying to be as gentle as possible. She hated to feel him flinch from her touch, she hated even more how overly warm his skin felt to her. She reached into the box pulled out a thermometer and held it up to his mouth.

“Can you keep this under your tongue for me, dear?” Without another word, Lucifer opened his mouth just enough for her to slide the tool under his tongue. As she waited for the results she went back to assessing and fixing him up. A soft yet sad expression washed over her, she was still getting used to Lucifer’s new form. His eyes used to be this bright blue color now turned red and would sometimes change to a dilated menacing gold. His lower half was more goat-like, but now he had a long demon’s tail with an arrow tip that he wasn’t the best at controlling.

His hands which used to be a palish white now blackened from the forearms to the tips of his fingers. These features would become more apparent when angry, he would sprout horns and spitfire. She had changed, Lilith also had horns that would change in size as did her height. Even with the change not being as visibly significant as Lucifer’s, it was still something to adjust to! Yet she still adored the man before her, and he still adored her just the same. The thermometer was done by the time she had finished with the last set of bandages. Looking over the results she sighed and packed it away.

“No wonder you feel so awful, 101.5 isn’t good. It's not too high but, with your injuries, I’m still worried.” Extending a hand out to her husband, she helped dress him in comfortable pajamas as promised and helped him to beg. It hurt him more to see the bandages on Lilith’s ankles and wrists, he hated that she got hurt at all. He watched as she limped around trying to adjust her weight as she walked around.

“Lili, love wh-why dodn’t you rest a bmidute, I can manage on my own love.” He suggested hesitantly he outstretched his arms but had to reel back to muffle a few sneezes.

“Ih hih! IIZZSCHYUE IIZZSCHYUE!” Biting the inside of his cheek to hold back a grunt from pain he went back to making grabby hands at his wife. Of course, she couldn’t say no to him, so she climbed into bed alongside him. Shuffling up to her, he laid his head just barely against her. Lilith pulled him closer laying his head on her chest, her hands started to comb through his damp hair.

“Bless you, I do hope you feel better soon, Luci. I’m sorry you feel so awful.” “Thagks, it's alright Lili flower, I’ll be okay. I’ll be better after sobe sleep. I prombise.” Although she didn’t believe him, he wasn’t wrong about needing rest, he needed as much as he could get! She hummed in agreement and continued to stroke his head soothingly till they both ended up back asleep.

Due to how this cold was going Lucifer didn’t know how long he had slept but when he woke up he was utterly blocked up. He couldn’t get a stream of air through his nose, felt like it was filled with a wall of cement. His throat still hurt to the point of coughing, shit he didn’t need a cough on top of this! He also didn’t need to wake Lilith with it either. So he forced what strength he thought he had and slinked out of bed. The walk down the stairs was agonizing, each step felt like a shock wave of pain that coursed through his ailing body. Making it to the kitchen, he turned on the kettle after filling it with water and waited for it to boil.

Being out of bed wasn’t helping his chills, maybe he should’ve taken a blanket with him. His shoulders were hunched over as he sat on a stool in front of the countertop shivering and rubbing at his nose that for fuck sake wouldn’t stop twitching!

“Uhh…? IIYISSCHUE IIYISSCHUE! IYIIMPH!” He managed to muffle the last sneeze into his shirt thankfully but damn were those sneezes dizzying and strong. It felt like he had the wind knocked out of him! He had to hold onto the counter hoping not to fall off. The harshness of his sneezes ended up making him cough. Clutching his torso torso to try and lessen the pain, he was left gasping shakily for air.

“Damb that fuckig hurt” He whined out before hopping off the stool as the sound of boiling water rolled inside the kettle. Grabbing a mug he poured the water into the cup, grabbed some honey and lemon, and stirred it around, he also made a cup for Lilith. They also needed to eat something, maybe cooking couldn’t hurt him, it was just soup, right? He grabbed what they had and got started on making soup.

He may or may not have overestimated how much strength he had and was beginning to tire out. Fighting his body to stay upright wasn’t as easy as it sounded with each sneeze wracking his body and scratching at his sore throat. Even with him leaning against the counter while he let his soup cook he could feel his energy depleting.

“Sh-shit hih! IIYISSCHUE IIYISSCHUE!” These two had him desperately holding onto anything he could to stay on his feet.

“Luci?” A soft yet worried voice called out, Lucifer didn’t need to turn around to know that it was Lilith.

“Hi darling” He replied while using his sleeve to wipe at his nose.

“What are you doing out of bed?” She didn’t sound angry just concerned, Lucifer held up a mug of tea and handed it to her.

“I figured we needed sobethig to eat or drink so I went and made sobe tea, and soup is sti-stihh still cooking Hih! Kgnk! Ugh Sorry.” Taking the mug Lilith sighed and pulled her husband to her.

“You shouldn’t be out of bed, love, you can hardly stand up.” Lucifer shook his head and tried mustering up a smile.

“You’ve done so much already, and I’m perfectly well enough to make something for us, you’re still hurt too. I didn’t want you to do too much” Lucifer’s voice cracked almost painfully, Lilith cringed at how bad he sounded. Reached for a cloth she pressed it to his nose.

“Blow your nose dear, I can hardly understand you.” Blushing in embarrassment Lucifer tried to wiggle his way out of it but Lilith wasn’t having it. So he did as told, even though he hated being this weak in front of her. She gingerly cleaned up his face before looking at the contents in the pot grabbed the spoon to stir things around and added spices.

“I’ll take care of the soup, you sit back and enjoy your tea okay.” Lucifer pouted at this and tried to protest this.

“I’ve got it Lili Flower, please.” His attempt was weak, and Lilith smiled at him warmly.

“I know you do, and you got just about everything started, i’m just finishing it up for you, like how we used to. So please let me help.” She kissed his forehead, she could feel the heat radiating from him and it worried her. He shouldn’t be straining himself so much, she didn’t want his fever to get any higher. The king of hell huffed and agreed, this was something they would do at times. One would start cooking and the other would either help or come in later and take over. Yet he didn’t want Lilith doing all the work.

When the soup was done, they went back up the stairs to their bedroom and curled up under the covers. They both ate their soup cuddled up beside each other. The warmth of the soup and tea did wonders at warming him up from the inside. For once he wasn’t shaking like a leaf in the wind, it was also loosening up the congestion clogging up his head. The only downside was it made his nose run which resulted him in not so gently rubbing and wiping at it to keep himself from making a mess. Lilith looked over at him hearing a small grumbling noise from him and saw him harshly scrubbing at his nose that was almost a bright red color. She giggled a little at this, she couldn’t help but comment on it.

“Oh Luci love, be careful. Your nose is already so red.”This had Lucifer blushing deeper and almost looking crossed-eyed down at his nose. Lilith laughed harder at her husband’s antics.

“How's your soup?” Lucifer asked trying to keep from blushing any harder.

“It's good, you did a good job love.” Lucifer grinned a little at her compliment and leaned into her side as he set his bowl aside.

“I’mb glad, felt bad about you doig everything, I had to do sobethig for you.” Lilith’s brows furrowed confusedly, setting down her own bowl she asked for him to elaborate. Lucifer’s grin turned sheepish and the tips of his pointy ears tinted the same as his cheeks.

“W-well you’ve been taking care of me since we fell from hell. You’ve been doing everything, bandaging me up, helping me shower, making food, helping the other fallen, and all I’ve done was lie here like a pathetic log while you did all the work.” Tears lined the rims of his eyes as he looked away from the half-human half-demon queen. He looked down at his bandaged arms as he couldn’t face her like this.

“Y-You don’t deserve this Lilith…You deserve to be happy, you deserve to see the good in people, and you deserve to see the light and be up in paradise….Not stuck down here with sobe loser who thigks his dreams will get hib ady where.” Before Lucifer could continue as the tears rained down his face, he felt warm palms gently cup his face and the weight of the bed shifting. He was pulled into a tender kiss by the woman who was now straddling his waist. She made sure not to put too much of her weight on him as she did this not wanting to hurt him.

“Lucifer, I told you before, I chose to do this with you. From the moment I left Adam to now, everything I did was by choice. Sure some things I did unsure of the outcomes but I do not regret them, if I didn’t I wouldn’t be with you. I’m taking care of you because you took care of me, you took the brunt of the attack, you took those spears, arrows, and whatever else they threw at you….When they took me from you and asked whether I would take the same fate as you, I knew that I would be exiled, but I chose to do it because I would still be with you. That is all that matters to me. That I am with you, and that we are both happy. Me taking care of you is the least I could do for you!” She pulled him into a hug as she continued.

“I love you, whether you are Sameal the Seraphim and angel of death, or Lucifer Magne Morningstar, sin of pride and king of hell. You took a risk, and it may not have gone as planned, but it's a start, and I don’t want you to give up. Please. Lucifer.” Her voice breaking as she pleaded to him, Lucifer hesitantly wrapped his arms around her slowly melting into her embrace.

“So please just let me take care of you….You don’t have to take this on all on your own…” Her voice almost a whisper. At first, Lucifer remained silent before he nuzzled his face into the crook of her shoulder while nodding.

“Alright, my precious Lili flower. We can share this burden together…as king and queen.”

[yukiumisakura25]

A Coffee's Scent

AN: HAPPY BIRTHDAY GEEZIE! I saw your post about your birthday, and I just HAD to write out this Coffee Shop Fic! I could never NOT love Remi and Alistar! And Kanai is so cute with his little halo and hoodies omgfowen! I apologize in advance, I improvised abit on the likes and dislikes, and they might not respond to some conversations like they should, but I gave it my best! I hope you like it and HAPPY B-DAY!

Fandom: @aller-geez and @thekinkyleopard OC’s, none are mine.

CW: It’s messy, description of snot, sneezing, alittle bit of cock, and cussing.

Synopsis: Levi’s working at a coffee shop and Remi drops by to say hello. Too bad Alistar and Kanai do too, and Remi finds Alistar’s drink smells too strong.

“Welcome to Café La Luna, oh! Remi!” Levi beamed as he recognized it was his mate that had entered through the glass door.

“Hey Levi, told you I’d stop by. “He walked up to the counter, a small smirk on his face. It’s been three days since Levi started his part time job as a barista at the corner café shop near their place. After finally learning enough recipes and only breaking two mugs and three plates, the manager told Levi he would be working the morning shift by himself. Remi, being the encouraging and supportive boyfriend he is, decided to come visit his other half and prevent a nervous breakdown.

“I see the shop is still in one piece, that’s a good start.” Remi chuckled lightly. Levi gave a playful pout.

“Hardy Har Har. Are you going to order something, or just tease me the whole time.” He asked rhetorically. Before he could give his smart ass response, Remi was cut off by the door opening again. Levi looked past Remi and smiled again.

“Alistar! Kanai, hey!” Alistar and Kanai walked in, Alistar rocking a skin-tight long sleeve shirt with the words ‘Mommy’s Main Piece’ across his chest, and black skinny jeans. Kanai, in his dark purple hoodie, with the words in neon ‘Too Cute to Tame, Too Crazy to Care’ and light grey pants.

“Oh, what the fuck.” Remi growled under his breath, refusing to turn around. Alistar ‘s eyes lit up as he saw his favorite violent fiend.

“Is that Remi I see? I thought you didn’t leave the house until McDonalds stopped serving breakfast.” Alistar teased, moving closer to the ticking bomb. Remi tightened his fist, and snapped his head to Alister, glaring.

“What the fuck makes you think- no. Don’t answer that.” Remi whipped his head back at Levi, eyes asking for an explanation.

“Oh, I told Alistar about getting a part time job here.”

“And I just HAD to come and support my FRIEND.” Alistar spoke with a smug grin, knowing that he was pushing Remi’s buttons.

“I have also come to try your coffee and experience the ‘vibe’ of the coffee shop. Drae says it is a peaceful place to drink coffee and do work.” Kanai said raising a hand up slightly, reminding them he was still here.

“Speaking of, where is he? I’d figured he would’ve come too.” Levi asked curiously.

“He’s sleeping in, something about not waking him up before eight unless I want poison in my food.” Alistar spoke, amused. Kanai nodded agreeing to the statement.

“Drae is cranky when he wakes up early.” He deadpanned. Alistar scoffed.

“Cranky is an understatement. Anyway, coffee?”

“Of course! Yeah, I can do this. Right. Do you know what you want?” Levi asked, looking at the keypad, in preparation.

“What’s the strongest drink you have?” Alistar moved next to Remi, slightly pushing him out of the way to stand in front of Levi. Remi growled again, glaring hard with intent in his eyes.

“Hey, I was here first!” He spoke with a snarl. Levi looked at the keypad with focus, using his concentration on the menu in front of him.

“Um…a Blonde Roast Brewed Coffee. But the smell and taste are really strong, so I’d suggest some cream and sugar.” Levi said after reading the nutrition facts of the menu.

“Ill take one of those then, no sugar or cream with triple expresso.” Alistar said waving his hand.

“The fuck you will, I’m first!” Remi pushed Alistar out of the way and turned to Levi, taking a breath.

“I’ll just have a caramel latte.”

“Pussy.” Alistar fake coughed.

“Fuck you.” Remi growled, causing Levi to sigh.

“Both of you stop. Now, I’ll make yours first Remi. Kanai, do you know what you want?” Kanai looked in thought.

“I will also have a caramel latte, double caramel and 5 sugars and cream.”

“Okay great, two heart attacks coming up.” Levi took the payment from Remi first, then Alistar for the two drinks.

While they waited for their coffees, Remi did his best to ignore Alistar’s comments, as Kanai looked around the shop.

“Here Remi, I put in extra whip cream for you, free of charge.” Levi winked slyly, knowing he’s going to pay for that later at home. Remi smirked and touched Levi’s hand intentionally when he grabbed his drink.

“Thanks kitten.” His eyes promising another use of whip cream in the near future. Levi turned away, reminding himself he was at work.

“And my coffee?” Alistar asked leaning over the counter, looking bored out of his mind. And a bored Alistar is a dangerous Alistar.

“On it.” Levi quickly went to work on his order, as Alistar was rewarded with a glare from Remi. Levi prepared the beans and put them in the machine, the scent began messing with Remi’s nose. He discreetly sniffed and turned away from the two, sipping his drink as he watched Levi make Alistar’s cup. His nose crinkled as the smell was becoming stronger as the liquid filled the small mug. He used the sleeve of his hoodie to rub at his nose to fight off the irritation.

“You alright there sniffles?” Alistar’s voice cut into Remi’s thoughts, and he glared at the source. Alistar smirked, as if knowing what was irritating the green-eyed man.

“Here you go Alistar. Oh! And yours as well Kanai.” Levi gave them their mugs and the scent became stronger, setting off an itch in Remi’s nose.

“Heh. “Remi squashed his nose with his sleeve, giving Alistar a quick glare before looking away, not wanting to give him the satisfaction. Little did he know that Alistar caught on quick and would do anything to get what he wants.

And right now, that was to see Remi make a mess of himself.

“Oh, Levi, could you be a dear and please grab me abit of creamer please?” He asked slyly, keeping the steaming mug of black coffee between himself and Remi. Remi glared, his grip on his own mug tightening.

“Of course, here.” Levi grabbed some small creamers.

“Oh, and a few packs of sugar to, please.” He played it smoothly, his eyes never leaving Remi’s face.

“How about you take that slug and get heh- get the fuck heehh- the fuck away- hd’ISChh!” Remi kept his nose in his sleeve, feeling the spot becoming wet.

“And miss this show? Never.” Alistar gleamed.

“Donnie?” Kanai looked at him confused, noticing the creamers by his cup. Alistar never puts anything in his coffee. ‘I like my coffee black, like my soul.’ He recalls him saying.

“Not now Nai, the entertainment has just begun.” Alistar smirks. Remi tried to glare at him through teary eyes.

“F-fuck hhh’ISH’ih! He’IISHH! hehh-hEh’TXSSHEW!” Remi felt the snot coat his sleeve on that last sneeze, the congestion beginning to build up behind his sinuses as he tried to regain dignity and sniff back what he could. Kanai then made an ‘oooh’ face, understanding what his best friend was doing. He nodded and went back to his coffee, taking a seat nearby as the two others stayed by the counter.

“Need a napkin?” Alistar offered, moving much closer to him, a look of mischievous graced his face as he held out a single napkin. Remi snuffled a growl and snatched the napkin from him, burying his nose into it as he turned away.

“D-dambnit Hh’IISHH! Hd’ISCHhh! Huh’GDTS’ue! Heeeh- Hd’ISCHEW!” Remi moved further away from the two as he tried to contain the mess.

“I finally found the sugar packets! Sorry about the wait Al!” Levi ran over to them, holding a small box of newly opened sugar packets.

“That’s quite alright, I was just enjoying the scenery.” He spoke while pointing at Remi, who blew through that napkin, and now into his own hands. Levi frowned and grabbed some more napkins, running out from behind the counter towards Remi.

“Rems, are you okay?” He asked worried, holding the napkins out towards his poor boyfriend’s face. Remi groaned before another “Heh’ISCHhh” blew into what was left of the napkin.

“Kidden.” He snuffed, and Levi took that as his que that Remi was done. He slowly pulled Remi’s hands from his face, seeing the strings of snot connecting from his poor and abused red nose, his glistening wet lips, and the spray that hit the disintegrated napkin what was left in his hands.

“Oh, my poor baby. What set you off?” Levi cooed, taking the napkins and cleaning off Remi’s hands before working on his face gently. He had Remi’s back towards Al and Kanai, so they wouldn’t see him like this.

“The coffee smbell.” Remi looked annoyed. He took another napkin and blew his nose, clearing it of any left-over scent of that vile brew Alistar ordered.

“Really? Well, I guess the scent was pretty strong. Sorry about that.” Levi frowned. Holding a napkin to his nose Remi wrapped his arm around Levi.

“Don’t be, It pbut mbe in the mbood.” He pulled Levi in so he could feel how hard his cock was. Levi’s eyes reddened and he looked round, catching Alistar and Kanai’s eyes. He turned to Kanai with a pleading look. Kanai, taking the hint took Alistar’s shirt sleeve.

“Donnie, if we go right now, I’ll let you tie me to the bed and do whatever you want for 20 minutes. “Kanai haggled. Alistar turned his attention to him with a wide grin.

“Anything?” Kanai nodded and Alistar picked Kanai up over his shoulder and kicked the glass door open, shattering it.

“Well let’s go! Have fun you two!” He called out as he left with a dramatic run.

Well, Levi was probably going to get fired anyway. He grabbed Remi’s shirt and pulled him down into a kiss.

“Bathroom. Ndow.” Remi breathed out.

“Yes sir.”

~Plz Don’t Repost To Non-Snzfic Blogs~

[fuckin-sick-bih]

so i'm busy writing a cowboy thing but listen... rich boy steve harrington who rode horses and eddie munson who is very allergic to horses. don't let me write that AU or you'll never get me back, i think i might be snzblr's resident "horsegirl"