#other peoples opinions can really warp your reality if you let it :(

[didyouforgetmeee]

Sometimes I realize I don't hate a character, I just hate the mischaracterized version of them the fandom created.

[mysecretlittlelibrary]

I Love You When You Don't Love Yourself

Pairing: Bucky Barnes x Reader

Word Count: 2.3k

Warnings: Self deprication??? People talking shit I dunno

Genre: fluff and maybe angst

Summary: Bucky let's the opinions of random people get in his head a little too much on a night out

***

You take one last look at your makeup in the mirror before deciding you're satisfied with the look.

"You almost ready to go doll?" Bucky asks, leaning against the doorframe.

"Perfect timing. Yeah, I just need to put my heels on." You say standing up and walking over to your shoes which you'd left by your closet. Bucky meets you by them and leans down to slip your heels onto your foot. Oh, how he treats you like a princess.

"You look amazing." He tells you as he stands back up, kissing your temple softly.

"Thank you, so do you." You say. Bucky's hand settles against your back as it always does when you're walking.

"Alright let's get on with this." Bucky says as you leave the tower.

"Do you think everyone's already there?"

"Steve definitely is, Nat probably isn't yet, Tony definitely isn't, Wanda and Vis I'd guess yes. Everyone else is up in the air but everyone's left here."

"Last to go-"

"We won't be the last to leave. Telling you now." He tells you.

"I know." You laugh. "Trust me I have no desire to stay the latest."

The Avengers team has been invited to a charity gala which normally nobody would even think about going to, but after the last several months, you definitely think the team could use the positive press so a number of you are going, to represent the team. It takes you and Bucky 20 minutes to get to the venue and Bucky groans when he sees the red carpet lined with photographers.

"No way there's a red carpet here." He rolls his eyes.

"Of course there is. These galas are a gold mine for PR brownie points." You say. "Just smile baby, if they ask us anything worth answering I can do the talking."

"Works for me." Bucky says leaning over the center console to kiss you quickly before getting out of the car. Bucky hands the keys to the valet as he walks around the front before opening your door. He holds out a hand to help you out and then shifts that hand to your lower back, leading you down the red carpet. You can hear a cluster of voices shouting both of your names behind the disorienting flashes but it's hard to make anything out specifically. That is until you catch one voice above the rest.

"Y/n! What's it like dating the Winter Soldier!?"

You can feel Bucky tense a bit beside you though he tries not to let it show on his face. You flash a bright smile at the sea of photographers and slip your hand behind you to quickly squeeze Bucky's.

"Oh well I wouldn't know, the Winter Soldier doesn't exist anymore." You say easily.

"Are you saying you don't think your boyfriend is dangerous!?" Another voice.

"Not any more than any other avenger. I honestly think that the most volatile of us is Tony! But- for some reason, nobody's worried about the guy who can fit rocket blasters into a briefcase- just the... guy who can punch really hard." You let out a half laugh to lighten the severity of your words but you know you've done what you were trying to do when Bucky pulls you closer subtly and the questions stop. "Ciao!" You add with a light wave. You and Bucky walk the remainder of the carpet, posing every so often until you make it inside.

"The guy who can punch really hard?" He quirks an eyebrow at you once you're inside.

"Well yeah. Don't get me wrong you're plenty dangerous- but we have a god that can summon lightening, a witch that can completely warp reality, a kid who has the strength to throw an entire airplane- and I mean Tony's just some guy comparatively however- that suit of his has military grade weapons and he could at one point carry in a briefcase, I feel like you are not the biggest threat to humanity even in this room."

"You make us all sound dangerous."

"You are. We are. Honestly, the world is just lucky Tony thinks that being a hero comes with more glory than being a villain, and the rest of us have decent moral compasses. The line between hero and villain is pretty thin and when you have abilities people don't understand you are always walking that line. They could turn us into fugitives tomorrow. That's why we do things like charity galas so that's less likely to happen."

"You know we are so lucky you're around because I don't think anyone else would care to protect us in this way." Bucky slings his arm across your shoulders, pulling you closer to him.

"True but I suppose that's the good thing about a team, everyone offers a different skill set." You shrug with a chuckle.

"You're so amazing." He says kissing your temple.

"Well I have to be, my boyfriend's pretty cool you know." You smile.

"Oh, is he?"

"Yeah, the coolest." You nod.

"He's a lucky man." Bucky chuckles. 

"Sure is. But I think I'm luckier."

I think he'd disagree."

"I'm sure. Let's go find our seats."

"I'll get us drinks first and find you at our table after." Bucky says removing his arm from your shoulder but kissing your hand before he lets you go.

"You sure?"

"I could track you down in a sea of thousands doll, go. I'll see you in a few." He says.

"Something fruity please." You tell him.

"I know what to do." He winks and walks off. You pivot towards the tables to search the name cards for your and Bucky's seats.

"Y/n, hi I'm Noah, I just wanted to say that I'm a huge fan of yours." The man, Noah, appeared pretty much out of nowhere.

"Hi Noah, thank you. Just- trying to do what's right." You smile. You'll admit you've not had many adults come up to you and say they're fans?? It's usually kids so you're not sure what's the best approach here.

"Oh you don't have to be so modest! You're a hero! You've earned every right to brag."

"I'm not really the bragging type is all." You chuckle.

"That's so honorable." He nods. You hum in response.

"I'm gonna go find my seat, but it was nice to meet you!"

"Oh did you come alone? Is someone waiting for you?" He asks.

"What?" You blink at him.

"Well just that you're usually always with the one with the arm- the soldier."

"Bucky." You say.

"Right him. I'm just surprised to see you without him." Noah shrugs.

"Oh, he's here. He went to get us drinks."

"Interesting. I'm surprised."

"By what? Like you said we're always together." You shrug.

"Yeah, right, I know I guess I just thought by now you'd wake up."

"Excuse you?" You scoff.

"Oh come on darling, you and I both know you can do way better than that killer you're with now." He smirks placing a hand on your arm.

"If you want to keep that hand I suggest you keep it to yourself because if you touch me again you won't have to worry about 'that killer I'm with' I'll end you myself." You smile back at him.

"Fiesty."

"Yes, I tend to be when you insult my loved ones. Go figure. I'm going to go find my seat now before you dig yourself a hole too deep to climb out of, enjoy your evening." You say before walking away. Perhaps you should've mitigated that without threatening him, if it reflects badly on the team you could be undoing the very thing you came here for and that's usually Tony's area of expertise, oh there's your name but I mean that guy totally had it coming he was being an absolute jerk. How dare he say-

"Found ya." Bucky kisses your cheek as he sits beside you, cutting your train of thought.

"Hey." You smile giving him a peck on the lips. "What'd you get me?"

"I forget the name but it's a vodka cran with peach and lime basically, something from their specialty menu. I thought you'd like it." He shrugs.

"I'm sure it's lovely, thank you." You tell him taking a sip. It is pretty good. "What'd you get yourself?"

"Just a whiskey." He says. "Anything fun happen while I was away?"

"Nope, I ran into some guy before I found our seats but, that's an interaction barely worth mentioning." You roll your eyes.

"Uh oh, what'd he do?"

"Doesn't matter." You say with a kiss. "Have you seen anyone else yet? It looks like none of us are at the same tables." You point out.

"I saw Tony and Pepper's place cards but they're not sitting if they're already here."

"Oh, what table are they at?" You ask.

"It's over there, and don't worry I already told the bartender that Tony is only allowed one drink." Bucky says making you giggle.

"Well, that's a relief. Let's hope he didn't prepare for that restriction." You hum.

"I think Pepper keeps him on a pretty tight leash so it shouldn't be a problem. I just figured you'd rather be safe than sorry."

"When it comes to Tony's alcohol consumption absolutely." You nod.

"Oh my god is that the winter soldier?" You hear a voice whisper next to you.

"I can't believe they let him in here." Another hushed voice responds, making your jaw clench.

"Well I'm not about to sit next to him." Voice one scoffs.

"I'm sure we can get someone to switch with us it's fine. Come on." Voice two says and the two scuttle off.

"Fucking idiots." You roll your eyes. Bucky clears his throat and takes a sip of his whiskey.

"Oh look there's Vis." Bucky points out the red synthezoid at a table a few rows away from you.

"Okay so we're here, Pepper and Tony should be, Vision and Wanda are there, isn't Steve coming? I wonder where he'll be sitting." You hum.

"I bet he's already in his seat. Look for a bunch of giggling women hovering at a table and we'll probably find him at the center."

"I wonder why they sat us all apart."

"I imagine to promote mingling. All the Avengers at one table would be rather intimidating for the rest of the gala I think. No one would approach us." He shrugs.

"Oh maybe." You hum. You pick up the program sitting on the table to get an idea of how the evening is meant to play out. They'll start with an opening address, then serve dinner, then do the auction items, and the rest of the night will be dancing and mingling. You and Bucky entertain each other at the table until someone begins the night's todos with the opening address. The speech is about five minutes long, thanking guests and talking about the importance of the cause. Dinner orders from the preselected menu are taken quickly and food is brought out within 15 minutes.

"See I told you it was him." You hear a hushed conversation, not at your table but close. Bucky's hand hovers over the fork that he had been reaching for.

"My goodness you were right. That's scary."

"And to think he has a girlfriend walking around like that." That's the line. Bucky stands from your table abruptly and storms off. You hurriedly gather your purse to follow after him but you stop at the table you'd heard the voices coming from.

"If you guys are so bored with your lives that you have nothing better to do than gossip the least you could do is keep your pathetic opinions to yourself." You scoff before walking off to track down your boyfriend.

"Bucky wait." You call when you catch up to him just outside the venue.

"I want to leave." He says.

"It's barely been an hour-"

"And in that time there have been four separate instances of people talking about me like some zoo animal who can't fucking hear them."

"Four?"

"I heard that guy telling you that you can do so much better than the 'killer you're with now', so yeah. Four."

"We'll leave." You nod. Bucky hands his ticket to the valet and it takes almost no time at all for them to bring your car around to the front.

Your drive home is silent, though you rest a comforting hand on Bucky's thigh as he drives. Back in your room at the tower is where the quiet is finally broken.

"I'm sorry." Bucky frowns.

"What on earth for?" You shake your head at him

"I totally ruined the evening. I know this was- important to you that we go." He sighs.

"Don't be ridiculous. There are enough Avengers there to represent the whole team Bucky we didn't have to go, we didn't have to stay. Plus I never want you to be somewhere you don't feel comfortable. The gala is not nearly as important to me as your feelings." You tell him.

"Everything would be so much easier if it wasn't so-"

"Bucky don't. That's a dangerous path to start down. There is nothing wrong with you."

"Stop, y/n. Stop pretending that you don't hate it. If I could still have my normal arm I-"

"Well you don't." You snap, cutting him off.

"What?" He blinks at you.

"You don't have your 'normal arm' Buck, and I didn't even know you when you did. I fell in love with you with the metal one attached to your body, and it's the only you I've ever known. How could you possibly think I hate it?"

"You heard what people were saying tonight-"

"I'm not dating any of them or their opinions. And neither are you. Who gives a fuck what they have to say about it? Don't let them decide what parts of you are worth loving." You say grabbing his face.

"Don't you get tired?"

"No. I'd happily spend the rest of my life clapping back at people's ignorant comments if it meant always coming home to you. I've fought evils those peabrains couldn't even comprehend if they tried, their narrowminded drivel means nothing to me. They're like walking talking gossip rags. Who pays those any attention?" You roll your eyes.

"I love you."

"I love you too. All of you. Even with your metal arm and your chaotic history. Don't you dare let random noise make you forget that." You poke his chest.

"Alright alright." He laughs pulling you against his chest into a hug.

***

[bloodyinkandquill]

Mach x Reader (HEHEHEHHE)

first off I have very strong opinions on this being a Mach self shipper so this is self indulgent

- So first off, Mach gets misscharacterized far too much, she’s serious sure but she’s also got a silly caring side!!

- When you first get together she remains pretty stoic, wanting to take things slow, though with her perception of time being warped beyond recognition how slow it really is really depends

- She’s fine with basic PDA but she doesn’t want anything extreme, holding hands, kiss on the cheek when others are around is about as much as she wants

- However in private Mach can be very touchy, as long as you’re ok with it, she doesn’t like being touched but she’s also touch starved and your touch feels different, a good different

- Hugging, cuddling, snuggling, kisses all over, she loved being close to you, though she is afraid of hurting you due to how strong she is, also with her height she’s completely fine being big spoon but every one in a while she does wanna feel small and be held

- Her love language is probably quality time, she doesn’t mind what yours is but to her just doing things with you, or just being in the same room doing different things but together feels so soft and sweet to her

- Not big on pet names, maybe one or two either basic or one specific one she gives to you, and on her she’s fine with them but does think just hearing you say her name is more romantic, speaking of her name she doesn’t mind if you call her Mach or if you call her Carolina but sometimes she does prefer Carolina as it’s a more reserved and personal name

- Mach gives you such interesting and peculiar gifts, flowers you’ve never heard of, an artifact that gives you maybe good luck or keeps you safe, she gives you things ‘as unique as you’ in her words

- She doesn’t need to sleep as much as you, so she’s fine working on things in a chair by your bed, every few nights she may join you, even if she doesn’t actually sleep, just holds you closely but carefully

- Honestly Mach is not a great cook, if you can cook however she eats whatever it is, you being able to cook would be so endearing to her, again she doesn’t need to eat as much as you but that isn’t to say she can’t eat, if you want her to eat a meal with you, she will

- Danger? Don’t know em! She will never let anything hurt you, she’s very cautious, and a little too protective some times, she’s worried to let you board the elevator because you could get hurt, same with running any of the courses, but she trusts you even if she’s anxious, if you do get hurt she goes full mother hen, your a mortal she sometimes forgets how much an injury would truly affect you, so a simple scrape can make her panic

- On that note Mach’s protective of who goes around you, MR is anywhere near you she teleports you away before destroying him. Then certain floors she’s very cautious of due to their inhabitants such as Shop Space as Enphoso can be violent, or Funny Maze as Scary Mike hurts people who enter his residence

- Takes you on whatever date you want, you wanna see a pretty planet? You were on course yesterday. Nice dinner out? Reservations been there for weeks. Go to the beach? She’s found you two a secluded spot no one else will bother you and a swimsuit that fits you perfectly in a matter of seconds.

- Please put your body weight on her, it helps ground her and makes her feel close to you, and she doesn’t have to worry about hurting you if you’re the one on her

- Due to all the shit Mach’s been through sometimes she needs your help to return to reality or just needs to cry in your arms, she misses her siblings a lot and is still terrified of her great grandfather so she needs comfort sometimes

that was a lot longer than i intended, hell i still have more to say, do please let me know if you want more Mach head canons!

[readysteddiewoe]

Dustin, Lucas and Will find out about Steve and Eddie, completely on accident.

The trio are in the drama room after school, at least an hour before Dustin knows Eddie comes in to set up for their session. He hates being intruded on. Which is exactly why it is imperative that they are quick about this. Sneak in, let Will take notes on Eddie’s bard character design, get out before Eddie arrives and then walk back into Hellfire like nothing happened. Easy peasy.

The Party is going make Eddie his character costume for his birthday. Because he is impossible to buy for. Super picky, has really strong opinions about literally everything. So while Lucas plays look out, Dustin and Will obtain the relevant information they need to fulfill their plan.

Everything was going smoothly, until Lucas rushes into the room whisper shouting, “They’re coming, they’re coming!” waving his arms about for emphasis.

Of course, they could come up with some sort of reasonable lie for what they are doing at the drama room before their scheduled Hellfire session. Which Eddie would definitely see through, it’s like an annoying superpower he has. They’d rather not risk it. The fates of all three of their characters are in the hands of a madman.

And the three of them dive into different corners of the room, scrambling for a hiding place. Lucas and Dustin wedged in the space between the wall and a wardrobe overlooking the DND table with half of Dustin's body sticking out, barely covered by a sheer fabric draped over him. If Eddie so much as looks his way, it's game over for him.

Footsteps, followed by an all too familiar drawl. "Because Buckley's a liar and a cheater," Eddie comes into view sauntering backwards into the room, wagging a finger at someone just out of sight.

The last person Dustin expects to see, walks in right after him. "You still on that?" Steve says. What the fuck is Steve doing here? “Cos’ you were both cheating,”

Eddie beelines straight to the table, shit, too close, where his notebook is lying, rapidly starts flipping through the pages, looking for something. And then Steve is crowding into Eddie space, his chin hooked over Eddie's shoulder, an arm coiling around his waist to rest his palm on his stomach. Wait, what?

Dustin twists as inconspicuous as he could and gave Lucas a look he was sure fully conveyed his range of emotions at the moment. Lucas gives him a similar one right back. Okay so he isn't loosing it. That’s a minor relief.

Their voices are too low for Dustin to pick out anything except a couple words here and there, not enough to form a picture of what kind of discussion involves cuddling your friend standing up. Steve's face is hidden, but he can still see Eddie's. The other man tilts his head to whisper something directly in his ears. Something that has Eddie's cheeks blooming pink and he's gasping Steve's name and shoving him off with a grin.

Oh god, what in the alternate reality was happening here?

From the corner of his eyes he can see Lucas with both hands clasped over his mouth, shaking from all the silent giggles he’s holding in.

Steve goes right back to plastering himself across Eddie's back and this time his hand slides smoothly into Eddie's back pocket. Dustin has the sudden urge to cry out My eyes! because screw staying hidden. His whole world view is warping by the second.

Now Dustin is a man of science. He isn’t unaware of the whole same-sex attraction thing, it’s just that he had no idea Steve of all people, likes men. Or Eddie for that matter, although he’s never heard him talk about any girl he might’ve been interested in, when he thinks about it. Dustin used to chalk it up to the mysterious personality of Eddie Munson, before the whole Vecna fiasco that is. Now he knows Eddie is as much of an open book as a person could possibly be.

Steve on the other hand? Former king of Hawkins High, ladies man Steve Harrington likes men? And he likes Eddie? Dustin loves them both, fiercely. He knew they’d get along well, he just didn’t anticipate exactly how well. Is this why Steve won't date Robin? That still made no sense to him though, Steve had no problem dating other women before Eddie.

Dustin must’ve blacked out for the rest of it, because by the time he refocuses on the scene before him, Eddie is already done scribbling in his notebook and the two of them are leaving. Dustin feels like a metaphorical Hurricane has just passed though his mind misplacing furniture and tearing up wallpaper.

Eddie and Steve are EddieandSteve.

Their receding footsteps draw Will out of his hiding spot looking a little dazed. “Holy shit, I thought they were going to start making out right there,”

“Okay so we all saw that right? I wasn’t hallucinating?”

“No dude, they’re like totally dating,” Lucas is completely overcome with a case of the giggles now.

“At least Eddie was too distracted to catch us, right?” A dopey smiling is spreading on Will’s face. God his friends are weird.

————————

Steddie Masterlist

[mysticbewitched]

https://www.tumblr.com/mysticbewitched/726099840950534144/mysticc-i-need-your-help-im-a-17-years-old?source=share I am not this anon but how do I let my ego go and know my desires are mine or that I am already in that reality?

This is an excellent question and gives me the chance to share my unpopular opinion of handling the concept of the human egoself.

This is going to go against what the majority of other Nondualism-based accounts are saying, but it's what I truly believe and how I see things.

I do not believe that you need to completely kill and let go of the ego. Nobody should feel pressured to eradicate their ego because we have been dealing with our human ego to help us navigate through our human experiences since the dawn of "time."

I think the whole concept of trying to kill off or remove the ego is unnecessary and pointless because you would be trying to remove something that does not even exist in the first place.

There is not an actual ego to eradicate or kill because it was just another tricky illusion that was created by awareness for the deceptive game of life that we have been playing for centuries.

Besides, the joke of the whole thing is that only the voice of the egoself wants to remove the ego. The people who are right now preaching that you need to let go of your ego completely are coming from a place of thinking with the egoself.

I don't agree with their views at all.

The human ego itself is just an illusion created by us as awareness in order to keep us hypnotized by our senses as we live out the human experience.

What I believe we should do instead is simply allow the egoself to be guided by the inner Godself when we truly understand who we are as awareness and realize the role of consciousness.

You do not need to kill the human ego. Just allow it to see things from the perspective of your Godself by changing your own perception of yourself.

When you live your life from the understanding of knowing your true self and embracing your infinite power, you have freed yourself from a false sense of self-identification. From this perspective, you are naturally operating from a confident perception of true enlightenment and self-realization.

That is the whole goal of this entire game, after all. Waking up from the dream of life to realize who we really are within and be able to master reality at our command from a transformed sense of self-perception.

To answer your other question, when you truly understand your true identity as God of your reality and the ultimate creator of all there is, then you finally will recognize the fact that your desires have already been accomplished.

Do not worry about the ego or your manifestations. Your only priority should be understanding the identity of your true self and changing the way you perceive yourself when you learn who you are.

You will be able to understand what the concept of "it is done" truly means once you start living by faith in knowing who you are and your infinite power.

There is only one reality, and that is *you.*

When you actually understand this, then you realize that you can completely warp your whole entire reality into whatever you desire to experience, and you choose to live from acknowledging your power.

When this shift in your perception occurs, then you naturally live from identifying with your inner Godself instead of the egoself.

[hologramcowboy]

Hi there!

I enjoy reading your blog as I find you are very balanced, mature, and provide deeper than surface level exploration of the fandom and the actors.

I've been in this fandom for quite a long time and I've noticed out of all fandoms I've ever enjoyed, the parasocial relationships in this one seem to be the highest and, at times, destructive.

Do you have an opinion on why this is?

Sometimes I just come across things that appear very unhealthy among the fans.

Hi! Thank you so much for this thought provoking question. Ever since I started this blog I’ve been exposed to a lot of facets of fandom that can get quite scary and, at the end of the day, the people behind that lack of balance and hatred usually have their love of a celebrity as a main motivator. In other words, they will crush anything that moves if it contradicts the perfect image of their chosen one. So many fandom wars and conflicts have this at the basis. As if there is only one way to think, one way to be and one way to love.

It’s highly dangerous when people over-identify with a celebrity to the point of veering into erotomania is or other related psychological issues. From what I’ve researched on the behavioural psychology side, mania and similar states only happen when we choose to perceive people in a one sided view instead of appreciating the whole of them (flaws and all).

In the Supernatural fandom specifically, the love bond between the brothers transferred as an image unto Jensen and Jared and made them into iconic characters on their own. This is just my humble opinion, based on research I’ve done but most of fandom over-identifies with the two to the point of blurring the lines of reality. I’ve gotten DMs from people suffering from erotomania, for example.

If we look at hellers we see they so badly need people to validate their orientation that they project something that never was unto two characters that were meant to represent agape love through their connection and nothing more. This over-identification leads them warp reality and it also leads some of them to violent, abusive behaviours, not just towards fellow fans but especially towards the actors themselves. They completely ignore Jensen and Misha’s real life persona and push their agenda to the point of it becoming abusive. I don’t want to generalize, because some are able to enjoy their ships without harming others and while being respectful but I just wanted to give an example.

I know there’s some solid research out there that, simply through its theme, shows like Supernatural can cause/trigger mental issues. So it is my belief that the theme plus the brotherly bond + the chemistry between the leads created a cult like following. Let’s face it, Supernatural never was directorial or acting gold but what it did portray was a love that overcomes all things and deep emotional traumas people could identify with.

The danger of worshipping/admiring/loving anything to the extreme is that that creates a lack of balance in the brain, we no longer see positive and negative aspects but we cave to fantasies and become enslaved by their promise to the point of aggressively rejecting reality. I’ve seen all facets of fandom do this at some point or the other, even I sometimes view Jensen as too perfect and always rebalance my perceptions. What I’m trying to say is that falling into detrimental mental states within fandom can happen to anyone of us and that it would really help if we would talk about it and be open and showed compassion for one another.

This is the reason why I’ve often made posts about the dangers of fanaticism and how loving a celebrity should, never, ever, ever end up affecting your life or wellbeing. People lose sight of who they are, what they are here to offer the world and their goals because they are busy obsessing about how “hot” Danneel is or Jensen or Misha or whoever. It’s come to a point where Jensen fans viciously tear into each other over the silliest things simply because their one sided views keep them trapped in a fantasy.

People actually send hate messages to Jared asking him to end his life and they do this over a ship or their fav. They lose their humanity over an imaginary link they believe they have with their favorites. While it’s true that this happens in all fandoms it’s definitely more prevalent in the Supernatural fandom and, if I were to link it to anything, it would be precisely to the studies that have determined that shows with horror/supernatural themes are triggering for those with mental issues and may even cause mental issues in those who are balanced. I really wish people would write more in books and studies about the negative side of fandom, to bring it into the light and get to the core of it. I’m no expert and this is just my humble opinion based on my behavioural psychology research but one good exercise is this:

Take the celebrity that most makes you feel out of yourself and write on a piece of paper:

-all the qualities they have that make you go crazy

-now take each of those qualities and ask yourself honestly “where and when have I displayed this quality?” Do not stop until you find examples.

Then, if you are feeling extra brave, take another piece of paper, write all the aspects that annoy you or that you hate about said celebrity.

Next, ask yourself “Where in my life have I displayed this trait?” Don’t stop until you find examples.

It’s an extremely humbling exercise that helps rebalance the perceptions of the brain, it helps us realise that all we love about another also exists within us and the same goes for all we hate. No one is always kind, always perfect, we’re all mean sometimes, though we may not admit it to ourselves but, once we do, we activate the executive function of our brain and are able to truly appreciate people for who they are, flaws and all.

My call to action for you is to talk about the toxic things you notice, to express them and bring awareness because most fans are so caught up in their hatred they can’t see reality, they don’t even realise what they are doing. A good example of this are extremely hateful Jenneel stans who send me hate messages while claiming hating is wrong. They are so blind they can’t see that hatred they try to project hatred on me is actually practised by them through the very messages they send.

Another important aspect is boundaries that actors fail to set with fans, Danneel who pretends she ships Destiel just to encourage such fans despite knowing her husband hates Destiel and has said more than once it never existed, Misha who panders to everyone to the point of endangering his costars. It’s all about boundaries. Even Jensen complaining people talk about his personal life ( through that Cliff post), that’s his failure to set boundaries, if you want to be private BE private. There is absolutely nothing stopping these actors from creating healthy boundaries but most pander to whatever craziness the fans come up with despite feeling miserable about it.

I’ll stop here because this post got a mile long but I adore the conversation you started because it is such an important one and I would really love it if someone would write a book about all the fandom issues and how to stay safe and sane while enjoying fandom. Because fandom should be an excuse for joy, creativity and unity, not divisiveness and hatred.

I really hope others chime in and answer your question because it is a deeply important one. Thank you for asking it! 🧡

[therealvikingstrash]

To the anon who needed to distinguish themselves from the previous one and decided to be nasty with having no background information whatsoever:

Did I hit a nerve on your own shortcomings in fandom? Boo- fucking- hoo. I'm not sorry.

The way I talk to people depends on how people talk to me. How they treat me. If someone assumes I'm a slotmachine for fic and gifs, I will treat them accordingly. Also, you didn't see the other anons, which influenced my tone.

If someone is nice, I'm nice. (You can check it out in my #vtrash answers tag btw, I'm not lying)

With me, you always receive the energy that you sent out. And this one was wack. Three anon asks within a couple minutes of each other and the tone was absolutely NOT okay. It also sounded like this person wanted to start some discourse and I'm not here for that bs.

Let me ask you this: if someone hits their dog over and over and over and one day the dog snaps, who's at fault? The dog for snapping or the owner for abusing it repeatedly? In this equation I'm the dog and I moderately snapped. I didn't even bite, but you make ME responsible? Weird way to out yourself as not being able to understand action and reaction.

Look, the really disgusting person is you, because you think telling someone the truth and giving them a reality check is being mean. Also, did you forget this new feature tumblr has where they can trace back who sent the anon? Not your smartest move.

Either way, I think social media warped your mind and you assume people aren't allowed to be people anymore- aren't allowed to express their emotions. We can't be upset by upsetting things, we can't be mad or angry when people make us angry, can't be sad, cuz god forbid you show any signs of feeling down, then you're crazy and toxic.

No, no, we all have to be these perfect little hollow dolls who never say "fuck" and always stay polite, even when other people are nasty. Upholding a MASK that isn't your true self at all costs. Kinda fucked up and dishonest, if you ask me. Screw you, I don't want to be like that. I've always been kind and quick to give out advice when needed, or words of encouragement to literally everyone who crossed paths with me, but was stabbed in the back multiple times. And for what? Fuck if I know. Was it jealousy all along or were those people just downright evil? I don't fucking know.

But I won't ever be that way. I'm a truthful person and I will always tell people what they need to hear and not what they want to hear. I'm not a fucking coward who hides behind anon.

This anon needed to know that they should put some fucking effort in fandom in order to have people create more 🤷🏼‍♀️ in this specific case me, but it goes for every other author and artist who's made to feel like an art and fic-slotmachine.

And yeah, I am of the opinion that the Vikings fandom specifically could do with more people reading, commenting, reblogging, sharing creations in order to NOT die.

Wow, what a bad, bad person I am for having such thoughts and saying out loud what basically every creator already knows. How cruel to hold people accountable for their refusal to take part in a fandom they claim to love. It's a fucking team effort to keep a fandom alive, in case you didn't notice, you dunce.

But funnily enough, for the longest time the only people on this team who actively tried to keep the fandom flowing with creations are all the same:

@vikingsbigbang - that's me and @tlkvikings (that was public knowledge btw)

@vikings-archive - surprise, surprise: me

@vikingsevents - also @tlkvikings and I

And of course the Vikings Server on discord that I created and am modding with @tlkvikings as well, to somehow get a cohesive community going.

Why did we never brag about it, you might ask? Why did we never advertise it? Put our name to it for credit? Because we just wanted to get this fandom going without any prejudice. To keep it engaged and running. We didn't want people thanking us specifically. We were happy when people engaged and showered one another with love at events we just gave them the opportunity for. We basically created opportunities for everyone, that's all. And we didn't ask for anything in return. Even after the very same fandom demonized and hated us. Yeah, that sounds like I'm a horrible, awful person, you're right.

But it's so much work, with nothing in return. The occasional "thank you" if we're lucky, but that's it. If only more people would at least engage in those opportunities to create and share, that would be enough, but even those rates have been going down. No one even THINKS of who runs these blogs (like they aren't run by people who can get exhaused, overwhelmed and discouraged) and how much work it is to keep up.

OF COURSE my own blog isn't posting new stuff all the time. Like, wtf do you think I am? A fucking god? Fuck no. I'm not online all the time, I have a life too, you know. It should be obvious that someone who has done so much for the community will get frustrated when people only ever ask for more.

We're basically the backbone of this fandom and in return not so long ago a group of people ran a smear campaign against us (slid into peoples dms and told lies about us, sent disgusting anons, made call-out posts full of lies, tried to doxx another friend of ours FOR OVER A YEAR and I'm still here) while the whole fandom watched and didn't help at all, our art gets stolen, our works ignored and THEN people ask FOR MORE?! And you think it's not an appropriate reaction to give someone a moderate fucking reality check? Be for FUCKING real, you cunt.

I can assume you're in the vikings fandom too, since you said you saw the post due to the tag, so I'm hoping you will see this as well and feel ashamed of yourself for not even using your brain for a fucking second.

[hineini]

I was hit pretty hard by a number of assertions inside the article linked to above according to their mistaken implications. Saying our behaviour has to be all lined up with our identities, to give an example, means-if she's right-I don't have any right to acknowledge that I'm gay due to my failure to have ever had intercourse with a woman. No, despite anything she might want to regard as right, I have full right to make it known I'm a dyke if appropriate during discussions I have with others. (plus God knows it's easy to extrapolate her notion to anyone who's been raped)

As to her assertion there are no straight allies any longer? Spare me. I remember hearing many (according to my assumptions; despite being asexual and gay I participate in silent heterosexism, believing others to be straight unless I learn they are bisexual or gay later) talk back if a student in their classes spewed homophobic vitriol. Her linked idea that you have to be a community member to enter certain spaces didn't completely strike me as logical since, hmm, spaces' cultures can exert an effect on others feeling eligible to enter. Simply being queer doesn't mean you'll feel comfortable inside that space. My status as a vegan doesn't mean I will feel acknowledging my diet is natural, automatic, etc. thank you.

Her fascinating idea people are taken as aggressive while coming out as straight? Let's get real a minute. People don't exactly do that. Doing so is only something to engage in if you're bisexual and in a straight relationship, gay and/or have a gender identity different than your sex. I've heard some people use an exasperated and/or tired tone of voice when communicating such realities but hardly ever anything aggressive.

It would be nice if God's GLBT creations could always receive respect and recognition rather than have warped information put in articles like the one above, may that manage to transpire as soon as it can.

Obviously felt ironic, many hours later, to spot an ad linked to my banking institution communicating that the greatest gift someone can have is receiving recognition as who they really are, much as I'm not unaware it's pure marketing since it will disappear at the start of July rather than anything demonstrating authentic pride since pride's a lifestyle to be lived twelve months out of twelve rather than a one-month marketing gimmick. Maybe that sign can teach the author of the article something, unknown as that potential is right this second.

[ryancrossfield]

Life-Learnings from The Marginalian

1. Allow yourself the uncomfortable luxury of changing your mind. Cultivate that capacity for “negative capability.” We live in a culture where one of the greatest social disgraces is not having an opinion, so we often form our “opinions” based on superficial impressions or the borrowed ideas of others, without investing the time and thought that cultivating true conviction necessitates. We then go around asserting these donned opinions and clinging to them as anchors to our own reality. It’s enormously disorienting to simply say, “I don’t know.” But it’s infinitely more rewarding to understand than to be right — even if that means changing your mind about a topic, an ideology, or, above all, yourself.

2. Do nothing for prestige or status or money or approval alone. As Paul Graham observed, “prestige is like a powerful magnet that warps even your beliefs about what you enjoy. It causes you to work not on what you like, but what you’d like to like.” Those extrinsic motivators are fine and can feel life-affirming in the moment, but they ultimately don’t make it thrilling to get up in the morning and gratifying to go to sleep at night — and, in fact, they can often distract and detract from the things that do offer those deeper rewards.

3. Be generous. Be generous with your time and your resources and with giving credit and, especially, with your words. It’s so much easier to be a critic than a celebrator. Always remember there is a human being on the other end of every exchange and behind every cultural artifact being critiqued. To understand and be understood, those are among life’s greatest gifts, and every interaction is an opportunity to exchange them.

4. Build pockets of stillness into your life. Meditate. Go for walks. Ride your bike going nowhere in particular. There is a creative purpose to daydreaming, even to boredom. The best ideas come to us when we stop actively trying to coax the muse into manifesting and let the fragments of experience float around our unconscious mind in order to click into new combinations. Without this essential stage of unconscious processing, the entire flow of the creative process is broken. Most important, sleep. Besides being the greatest creative aphrodisiac, sleep also affects our every waking moment, dictates our social rhythm, and even mediates our negative moods. Be as religious and disciplined about your sleep as you are about your work. We tend to wear our ability to get by on little sleep as some sort of badge of honor that validates our work ethic. But what it really is is a profound failure of self-respect and of priorities. What could possibly be more important than your health and your sanity, from which all else springs?

5. As Maya Angelou famously advised, when people tell you who they are, believe them. Just as important, however, when people try to tell you who you are, don’t believe them. You are the only custodian of your own integrity, and the assumptions made by those that misunderstand who you are and what you stand for reveal a great deal about them and absolutely nothing about you.

6. Presence is far more intricate and rewarding an art than productivity. Ours is a culture that measures our worth as human beings by our efficiency, our earnings, our ability to perform this or that. The cult of productivity has its place, but worshipping at its altar daily robs us of the very capacity for joy and wonder that makes life worth living — for, as Annie Dillard memorably put it, “how we spend our days is, of course, how we spend our lives.”

7. “Expect anything worthwhile to take a long time.” This is borrowed from the wise and wonderful Debbie Millman, for it’s hard to better capture something so fundamental yet so impatiently overlooked in our culture of immediacy. The myth of the overnight success is just that — a myth — as well as a reminder that our present definition of success needs serious retuning. The flower doesn’t go from bud to blossom in one spritely burst and yet, as a culture, we’re disinterested in the tedium of the blossoming. But that’s where all the real magic unfolds in the making of one’s character and destiny.

8. Seek out what magnifies your spirit. Patti Smith, in discussing William Blake and her creative influences, talks about writers and artists who magnified her spirit — it’s a beautiful phrase and a beautiful notion. Who are the people, ideas, and books that magnify your spirit? Find them, hold on to them, and visit them often. Use them not only as a remedy once spiritual malaise has already infected your vitality but as a vaccine administered while you are healthy to protect your radiance.

9. Don’t be afraid to be an idealist. There is much to be said for our responsibility as creators and consumers of that constant dynamic interaction we call culture — which side of the fault line between catering and creating are we to stand on? The commercial enterprise is conditioning us to believe that the road to success is paved with catering to existing demands — give the people cat GIFs, the narrative goes, because cat GIFs are what the people want. But E.B. White, one of our last great idealists, was eternally right when he asserted half a century ago that the role of the writer is “to lift people up, not lower them down” — a role each of us is called to with increasing urgency, whatever cog we may be in the machinery of society. Supply creates its own demand. Only by consistently supplying it can we hope to increase the demand for the substantive over the superficial — in our individual lives and in the collective dream called culture.

10. Don’t just resist cynicism — fight it actively. Fight it in yourself, for this ungainly beast lies dormant in each of us, and counter it in those you love and engage with, by modeling its opposite. Cynicism often masquerades as nobler faculties and dispositions, but is categorically inferior. Unlike that great Rilkean life-expanding doubt, it is a contracting force. Unlike critical thinking, that pillar of reason and necessary counterpart to hope, it is inherently uncreative, unconstructive, and spiritually corrosive. Life, like the universe itself, tolerates no stasis — in the absence of growth, decay usurps the order. Like all forms of destruction, cynicism is infinitely easier and lazier than construction. There is nothing more difficult yet more gratifying in our society than living with sincerity and acting from a place of largehearted, constructive, rational faith in the human spirit, continually bending toward growth and betterment. This remains the most potent antidote to cynicism. Today, especially, it is an act of courage and resistance.

11. A reflection originally offered by way of a wonderful poem about pi: Question your maps and models of the universe, both inner and outer, and continually test them against the raw input of reality. Our maps are still maps, approximating the landscape of truth from the territories of the knowable — incomplete representational models that always leave more to map, more to fathom, because the selfsame forces that made the universe also made the figuring instrument with which we try to comprehend it.

13. In any bond of depth and significance, forgive, forgive, forgive. And then forgive again. The richest relationships are lifeboats, but they are also submarines that descend to the darkest and most disquieting places, to the unfathomed trenches of the soul where our deepest shames and foibles and vulnerabilities live, where we are less than we would like to be. Forgiveness is the alchemy by which the shame transforms into the honor and privilege of being invited into another’s darkness and having them witness your own with the undimmed light of love, of sympathy, of nonjudgmental understanding. Forgiveness is the engine of buoyancy that keeps the submarine rising again and again toward the light, so that it may become a lifeboat once more.

14. Choose joy. Choose it like a child chooses the shoe to put on the right foot, the crayon to paint a sky. Choose it at first consciously, effortfully, pressing against the weight of a world heavy with reasons for sorrow, restless with need for action. Feel the sorrow, take the action, but keep pressing the weight of joy against it all, until it becomes mindless, automated, like gravity pulling the stream down its course; until it becomes an inner law of nature. If Viktor Frankl can exclaim “yes to life, in spite of everything!” — and what an everything he lived through — then so can any one of us amid the rubble of our plans, so trifling by comparison. Joy is not a function of a life free of friction and frustration, but a function of focus — an inner elevation by the fulcrum of choice. So often, it is a matter of attending to what Hermann Hesse called, as the world was about to come unworlded by its first global war, “the little joys”; so often, those are the slender threads of which we weave the lifeline that saves us.

Delight in the age-salted man on the street corner waiting for the light to change, his age-salted dog beside him, each inclined toward the other with the angular subtlety of absolute devotion.

Delight in the little girl zooming past you on her little bicycle, this fierce emissary of the future, rainbow tassels waving from her handlebars and a hundred beaded braids spilling from her golden helmet.

Delight in the snail taking an afternoon to traverse the abyssal crack in the sidewalk for the sake of pasturing on a single blade of grass.

Delight in the tiny new leaf, so shy and so shamelessly lush, unfurling from the crooked stem of the parched geranium.

I think often of this verse from Jane Hirshfield’s splendid poem “The Weighing”:

So few grains of happiness measured against all the dark and still the scales balance.

Yes, except we furnish both the grains and the scales. I alone can weigh the blue of my sky, you of yours.

16. Unself...

Somewhere along the way, in the century of the self, we forgot each other. We forgot this vast and wonder-filled universe, of which we are each but a tiny and transient wonder.

We forgot that all creative work — be it music or mathematics, poetry or physics, anything we might call art — is a hand outstretched in the dark, reaching not for visibility but for the light that lives between us. Reaching for connection.

We forgot what Whitman knew even as he proclaimed “I celebrate myself!” — that “every atom belonging to me as good belongs to you.” No word appears in Leaves of Grass more times than you.

We are living through a pandemic of selfing — rampant self-celebration that mistakes applause for connection, likes for love. Social media companies are capitalizing on our native need for affirmation, exploiting our compromised immunity to manipulation at every turn: algorithms prioritizing selfies over sunflowers, algorithms amplifying the word I, algorithms doping us on the dopamine of being noticed, seducing us into forgetting the art and joy of noticing — that crowning glory of consciousness. And somewhere, in the quiet core of our being, this frantic hunt for likes is making us like ourselves less.

There must be another way — a way to unself just enough to remember each other, to grow a little more awake to this world that shimmers with wonder, of which any one self is only a fleck.

Whatever that way is, it is not some new technology. Maybe it is a new ethic. Maybe it is the oldest ethic.

Here is what I propose:

As an experiment, for one continuous month, make the focus of one in every three things you share on social media — wherever you normally share, however regularly or irregularly you do, however many people you reach — something other than yourself or your own work: a friend’s art project, a stranger’s poem, a record by a musician you love, the tree shimmering with majesty and mystery in the low morning light, someone in your community you admire, a bygone pioneer of something you value, a book that spun you on your axis, the lost cat sign crayoned by a neighbor’s child, the new community garden a few blocks over, news of the dazzling galaxy discovered by the dazzling new space telescope a few million lightyears over.

Try it for a month — try it on like a shirt, see how it feels. And if you don’t feel that warm glow of generosity, that good glad feeling of making another’s day, or simply the relief of a small sabbatical from the tedium of the self, then you can always go back to the old way.

Wherever you land, it will not have been a wasted month.

17. Everything is eventually recompensed, every effort of the heart eventually requited, though not always in the form you imagined or hoped for. What redeems all of life’s disappointments, what makes all of its heartbreaks bearable, is the ability to see how the dissolution of a dream becomes the fertile compost of possibility. Buried between parentheses in the middle of Leaves of Grass is Whitman’s testament to this elemental truth, which turned his greatest heartbreak into his greatest masterpiece:

Sometimes with one I love I fill myself with rage for fear I effuse unreturn’d love, But now I think there is no unreturn’d love, the pay is certain one way or another, (I loved a certain person ardently and my love was not return’d, Yet out of that I have written these songs.)

[flirting-with-psychology]

101 curious questions. Let’s talk.

What’s your biggest insecurity?

Being awkward

What’s your biggest physical insecurity?

My weight

Do you like the person you feel like you’re becoming?

Not as much as I had hoped to by this point in my life

What’s the one thing you feel like everyone knows how to do except you?

Make friends

Do you suffer from anxiety/depression/PTSD/other?

Anxiety probably

Where were you born?

Colorado

What do you think people say about you when you’re not around?

Idk, I'm not sure if they talk about me

Do you look up to anyone in your life?

Not actively

What makes you feel guilty? How do you resolve it?

Not being a good girlfriend or daughter. I don't really resolve it

What’s your boring hobby (that you still enjoy anyway)?

Social media

Do you like who you are around people?

Not really, I'm too shy and awkward except for a few people I feel comfortable with

Do you know what your plans for the future are? Do you like them?

Haha noooo

Tell a secret.

I'm not sure I really have a good one

What petty event are you still embarrassed about?

My dad took me to see the Rocky Horror Picture Show, and I guess in his day everyone danced to the Time Warp, so he dragged me up to the stage but no one else came up so it was just us and the performers

Do you get wanderlust? Where do you want to go?

Yeah, I'd like to go to Europe. Also stay in those cool really expensive hotels that only rich people can afford even a night in

Romantically, do you prefer men, women, both, any/don’t care, or are you aromantic?

Men

How many parents do you have?

2

Do they get along?

Yes, but they are divorced

Do you swear?

Fuck yeah

How many siblings do you have? Where are you in relation to them?

None

Have you ever had to hurt anyone emotionally?

I'm sure

Has anyone ever hurt you emotionally?

Yes

Do you believe in an afterlife?

No

What lies do you believe anyways?

It's fun to suspend disbelief for reality tv

Would you consider yourself poor, average, or wealthy?

Below average

What does your favorite tattoo mean to you? Or if you had to get a tattoo, what would it be? Why?

I don't have any. I thought about getting a heart on my arm because I wear my heart on my sleeve, or "Carpe Diem" because I like the quote

How many groups of friends do you have? How do they vary?

A couple main ones that I play DnD with

Do you work? If so, what do you do? Do you like your job?

I work for a TV company, it's pretty cool

Do you want to have a partner for life?

Yes

Who have you never forgiven? Why?

Jerks from school, never saw a reason to be friends with them and they never tried to be nicer to me

What are you looking forward to right now?

My trip to my boyfriend's parents' house for Christmans

If you could change one thing about your past, what would it be?

Wish I had figured out how to date in high school or college

What’s your favorite color in context?

What context? I think teal looks best on me

What unpopular opinion do you have?

Cancel culture is excessive and it's ok to like something without supporting everything about the person/people who made it

What’s the last good book you’ve read?

Mistborn (reread) and Shadow and Bone (1st time read)

What’s your favorite book?

Harry Potter

Favorite poem?

Not sure

Favorite movie?

Back to the Future

Favorite song?

All Too Well by Taylor Swift

Favorite food/type of food?

Chocolate or cheese

What kind of food activates your gag reflex?

Lots of foods, I'm pretty picky

What do you feel like you’re missing from your life right now?

Direction

If you could choose your own name, what would it be? Why?

I did choose my own name

What’s the earliest dream you can remember having?

Maybe a recurring nightmare about hooks coming out of my ceiling

What’s the most recent dream you can remember having?

I accidentally broke the record I got for my boyfriend for Hanukkah

What’s the most beautiful dream you can remember having?

The magical kingdom I became queen of

Do you have a car? What kind is it?

Subaru Forester

Are you afraid of death?

A little, but it's not really on my list of pressing things to worry about

Have you ever attempted to take your own life?

No

Describe your dream job?

Being a student forever

Are you religious/spiritual?

No

What do you do to calm yourself down?

Lately, play solitaire

What’s the most annoying thing that happens to you on a regular basis?

Going to my job

Do you live in an urban, suburban, or rural area?

Suburban-urban

What’s the one talent you wish you had?

Being able to talk to anyone

Do you do well or struggle in school?

Did well

Do you have a speech impediment?

Not really, but we joke that I have a "speak impediment" because I do screw up words sometimes and when I asked my friends if I had a speech impediment I accidentally said speak impediment

What’s the most terrifying thing that’s ever happened to you?

Not sure

What’s the happiest day of your life you’ve ever had?

Marching band state finals senior year of high school was a good one

Early, on time, or late?

Late

What quirks do you have?

Probably several

Do you wish you could start tomorrow with a clean slate? Why/why not?

Not really, I don't know what I would do with it

Do you ever get paranoid?

Yeah

Do you believe in human souls? Where do you think they come from?

Not really, but I am curious about where consciousness comes from

What’s one mistake that you’ll never make again?

Agreeing to run the music at a wedding

What fandoms do you belong to?

Taylor Swift and Choices are the ones I participate in a bit

What are your old URLs?

I think my old one was shineslikestars or something?

How often would you say you lie? Why?

Rarely, and only little white lies like "yeah you look good in that"

Do you like the kind of attention you get from other people?

Usually, but I don't get enough attention

Are you in a relationship? What’s your favorite thing about your partner?

Yes, he is a really good cuddler

Are you concerned about the environment?

Not as much as I should be

What stresses you out more than anything else?

The future

Credit, debit, EBT, or cash?

Debit

Who’s your favorite historical figure?

F. Scott Fitzgerald

What’s that movie you know is bad but enjoy anyways?

Not Another Teen Movie

Do you masturbate (be honest)?

Yeah

What’s your kink?

Not gonna answer that

What’s one thing you don’t feel comfortable doing around your friends?

Doing some of my more OCD hobbies like making lists

What’s your most prized possession?

My stuffed dog Bruno

Are you ever proud of yourself?

Yeah

Do you ever tear yourself down?

Yeah

Do you ever tell people how you’re feeling?

Yeah

Do you like when people guess how you’re feeling?

I usually just tell them. If I don't, it means I'm hiding it on purpose to not make the situation about me

Are you worried about someone close to you? Why?

Not particularly, but my parents a little since they are getting older with health problems

What kind of interview questions do you answer to yourself?

What does this mean?

If you could meet anyone, living, dead, or unborn, who would it be?

Taylor Swift

If you had a clone of yourself and the two of you didn’t have enough resources, would you get along?

I probably wouldn't get along with her even if we did have enough resources

What kinds of things confuse you?

Computer code

Do you feel too hot or too cold more often?

Too hot

If you had to live in any past time period, which would it be?

Medieval (if I was upper class) or 80s

What’s your sign? you feel like it matches your personality?

Sagittarius. It doesn't particularly match

Do you believe in astrology?

No

Do you like extreme activities, like white water rafting, surfing, roller coasters, etc.?

I like roller coasters but I don't put them in the same category as extreme activites, which I don't really like

Are you waiting for someone to save you?

Not really, but maybe a tiny bit

Can you remember the last time you made a deep personal connection with someone?

I sort of did with one of my coworkers at the work party last night

Do you like where you grew up?

Yeah

What’s your favorite word?

I don't have one

Would you consider yourself an interesting person?

Not especially

Which people in your life do you wish knew you better?

My friend group

Are you okay?

Pretty ok

What’s been going through your mind lately?

The future

[evco-productions]

Why Children SHOULDN’T Be Actors

Stranger Things 4 broke Netflix viewing records last year. As is typical of me whenever we’re in the dead zone between seasons of that show, I have been rewatching it from the beginning. Each time I do, I end up thinking about how complicated and dangerous a world the entertainment industry is for young people.

Numerous favorite movies of mine star child actors. The stories these movies tell are about children, and thus, realistically, would of course star child actors. However, that doesn’t mean children should be actors. You only need to look back at the dark history of young people in Hollywood to see that it is a terrible and even dangerous environment for them to live in—Judy Garland, Macaulay Culkin, Corey Feldman, Corey Haim, River Phoenix, Lindsay Lohan, Anthony Rapp, to name a precious few.

Sex sells. Even in its most warped, disturbing forms, sex sells.

Hollywood does not “allow” the sexualization of child actors so much as fuel it. They are not an industry of high morals (or really any morality at all) and they don’t care where the ticket and merchandise money comes from or why, as long as it keeps coming.

How can I watch movies knowing all this is going on? I know someone reading wants to ask that question, but that’s sort of like asking how can I live in America knowing some of the atrocities this country has been responsible for since…well, since it began. What choice do I have? To move to some other country? I got news for you: we live in a fucked-up world and no one is innocent. Just like living in America doesn’t make the things America does my personal fault, or yours, neither does engaging with entertainment media make the things entertainers do my fault.

The sad truth is, you and I alone are powerless to stop the mistreatment of child actors, because that mistreatment takes so many different forms and is committed by so many different people, all of whom have more money and influence than us.

I believe that I, personally, can do very little to stop the sexualization (and worse) of children in Hollywood, or anywhere for that matter. Some of the world’s most powerful people count themselves as pedophiles, or at least sexual deviants of some kind, or at least friends of pedophiles and sexual deviants.

Movies are a form of art, and I love them as an art form, and I believe that in the case of art, something good can come out of something terrible. I believe many young actors have suffered traumatic incidents over the course of Hollywood’s history in order to bring the masses entertainment and, hopefully, some semblance of joy. Does that justify the wrongs committed? No, but again, what choice do we have? These incidents have already occurred and there is no reality in which the entertainment industry changes its ways, so we can either try to turn a bad thing into a good thing or we can sit and complain, which in my opinion is the true definition of “doing nothing.”

If I didn’t believe all this, I wouldn’t be able to enjoy movies, let alone love them. But never let it be said that my love of movies blinds me to the wretched hive of scum and villainy that is the movie industry. I believe the bare minimum that can be done for child actors today is to keep them out of the press tours, magazines, and off public social media accounts to help protect them from sexualization, as the Internet has only made things worse. Unfortunately, it’s often the parents of these children that are at fault for not protecting them. Sometimes, it’s the parents who use them more than anyone, but that discussion deserves its own post.

What do you think can be done about the dangerous environment the entertainment industry represents? Think about that question, and when you have a good answer, don’t tell me. Tell everybody. This is an issue worth talking about.

[kazliin]

I love how you play with perspective and characters (I'm talking about Rivals btw, though I see this in your other fics). I love how you recognize that Yuuri isn't an uwu cinnamon role who is just a victim to other people and his circumstances, but actually a deeply flawed and kinda selfish person who tends to project his issues onto Viktor, whether that was through obsessive hero worship or obsessive hatred. I found the dissonance between the way the characters of Viktor and Yuuri view the world and each other vs their actual reality to be downright disturbing. Like (I see this in canon too) it takes so goddamn long to get past seeing Viktor through this untouchable, inhuman lens, which is believable because of his fame and notoriety. This lens kinda leads to all those weird interactions between Yuuri and Viktor even in canon, where Yuuri kinda assumes that Viktor will be ok no matter what he (Yuuri) does because it's Viktor, y'know? And that is not a healthy way to view your partner's vulnerabilities. Cesare wrote a really good fic which kind of explored this issue called "makes no sense to fall". I like how in your fic, it is so very clear that we are dealing with a couple of completely unreliable narrators. Like, perspective is such an important part of this fic, with Chris, Yuri, Viktor, Yakov and Yuuri especially. Yuri triggers Yuuri's realisation of his love for Viktor and like, it's all from Yuri's barely informed perspective of Yuuri. I think that makes a good point about how you should never assume? Viktor assumes Yuuri doesn't skate and that he and Yuuri are connected when at the time they really...weren't, Yuuri assumes that Viktor hasn't changed since he was 15 because of one experience, Yakov assumes Yuuri is a cheat and playboy without even having the full story: everyone is making assumptions and judging everyone without getting multiple perspectives. I mean jeez, at least Yuri gives Yuuri the benefit of the doubt at first, and tries to give him the other side of the story instead of letting everything go to shit. Thank god to Yurio for saving this ship lmao. Even with the fans and the little parts with social media, you can see how distorted their images of Viktor and Yuuri are. There was this fake post where someone said something like "it's not like Katsuki actually cares what people think about him anyway" and it just?? Fucked me up???? Like that was the moment when I was like "oh wow they really don't see them as human at all" which come to think of it, is kind of like how Yuuri sees Viktor at first. I think it makes an interesting commentary on the dangers of idolising anybody. It's personally poignant to me because it makes me re-examine the way I view celebrities or people I generally admire.

Especially as an English lit fan, your fic is a delight. Sorry if I didn't make much sense haha

Thank you!! When I started writing the fic I knew I wanted to write Yuuri as an unreliable narrator and explore how warped our perception of other people can be. I was going through a really rough period in my life while I was writing Rivals and experiencing some pretty bad mental health issues. A lot of Yuuri in that fic was a reflection of myself and me trying to work through some of my own issues. At the time of writing it, I actually had untreated and undiagnosed anxiety and I was struggling a lot with how it affected my relationships with other people (always assuming the worst, thinking every little minor thing meant they hated me, relating everything to myself rather than accepting people had their own lives and their own justifications for doing things that had nothing to do with me etc). A little while before writing the fic, I had started to try and fix myself and stop getting so caught up in my own head and my own worries that I stopped seeing the bigger picture and viewed other people as reflections of my own fears rather than individuals. So I wrote Yuuri partly based on my own feelings and to pick apart my own issues.

Thankfully I'm much better now (thank u therapy and medication!) but I'm still very glad I wrote the fic the way I did because I love exploring how drastically different two people can see the same scenario and how our past experiences shape the way we see the world. I also loved writing the social media sections because I have a lot of Thoughts and Opinions on celebrity culture and I wanted to explore how not only is Yuuri's perspective of Viktor messed up, but so is the media and fans perception of both of them and how that impacts their relationship and perceptions of each other

[grailfinders]

Fate and Phantasms #166

Bonjour and Bienvenue boys and belles to another bit on the BB Channel! For today we’re building the boisterous baroness of bacchanalia as one bit Berserk Bewitchment Bloodline, one bit Battery Builder, all for badass beatdowns! All this brouhaha is to say we’re building and buffing the beauteous brat known as BB.

Check out her build breakdown below the cut, or her character sheet here!

Next up: Hacking the planet? I think you misheard.

Race and Background

The evil AI from the moon BB is about as Custom a Lineage as they come, giving you +1 Dexterity and Intelligence. She also comes packed with Darkvision to dunk on those foolish human eyes and the Lucky feat to tip the scales in your favor by re-rolling attacks, checks, or saves that directly involve you three times per long rest. Games aren’t fun if they’re fair, silly!

Again, Evil AI from The Moon isn’t going to be a background you can find in most games of D&D. That being said, she certainly likes to put on shows of life and death, so once you get past their obsession with fire I’d bet she’d find a lot of common ground with Rakdos Cultists. This gives her proficiency with Acrobatics and Performance so you too can twirl around on stage and put a little flair into your attacks.

This background also gives you an additional bunch of spells to tack onto your spell lists. When you unlock spellcasting in the first place, you get Fire Bolt, Vicious Mockery, Burning Hands, Dissonant Whispers, and Hellish Rebuke. Your free second level spells are Crown of Madness, Enthrall, and Flaming Sphere. Third level is Fear and Haste, fourth is Confusion and Wall of Fire, and your free fifth level spell is Dominate Person. Don’t look at me like that, how else are you going to keep your daughters in line? BB doesn’t rely on fire that much -yet- but the other spells are absolutely in her wheelhouse. And giving a computer virus a fire wall is just plain funny.

Ability Scores

As a hyper-advanced AI from the future, it’d be a little weird if your Intelligence wasn’t your highest ability score. Your smarts are almost as obvious as how great a kouhai you are, so make your Charisma the next highest. Your Dexterity is pretty good too- that outfit probably isn’t armor, at least not in the practical sense. Your Constitution isn’t too bad either. The saying goes, “if it bleeds, you can kill it,” but you’re made out of data so you don’t bleed at all. Your Strength isn’t anything to write home about, but you can warp reality, so why would you need to lift? Dump Wisdom. You’re not exactly the most stable person in Chaldea.

Class Levels

1. Artificer 1: First level artificers get Magical Tinkering, so now you can put minor magical effects into tiny objects. Most of them probably aren’t that practical, but every event shop needs some junk.

You can also cast Spells this level, using your Intelligence to prepare and cast them. On top of your rakdos spells, you can use Lightning Lure and Mage Hand to mess with people. You can also prepare first level spells, like Identify to scan enemies for their status effects, Tasha’s Caustic Brew to re-enact your extra attack card, and Cure Wounds for a bit of maintenance on your spirit origin. It takes work to look this good, y’know!

Finally, you get proficiency with Constitution and Intelligence saves, as well as Arcana and Medicine. You were built to look after humans, and you obviously know a lot about tech.

2. Artificer 2: Second level artificers can Infuse Items to turn dumb ol’ mundane objects into magical objects! You learn four infusions right now, but you can only keep two of them available at a time, and you can swap them out between long rests. Really lean into it, make the rest of the party fight for the affection of their kouhai.

As far as your actual infusions go, Mind Sharpener is a great one for spellcasters, letting them force their concentration to stick even if they fail a save as a reaction. You can also use an Enhanced Arcane Focus to make your spells even stronger. For magic items, the classic Bag of Holding is always in fashion, and Sending Stones will help bring party communication into the 21st century.

3. Sorcerer 1: Being smart is nice, but it’s time to make things a bit more.. interesting. As a sorcerer, you get another Spell list that uses your Charisma to cast. You also get your own home game version of BB slots thanks to your Wild Magic Surge. When you cast a sorcerer spell that uses a spell slot, your DM can make you roll a d20. On a one, you then have to roll on the wild magic surge table.

If that’s not wacky enough for you, the Tides of Chaos can speed things up. Once per long rest, you gain advantage on one attack, check, or save of your choice. Your DM can also force you to roll on the WMS table when you’d normally get a WMS to recharge it.

You get cantrips like Friends, to make friends with Senpai; Message, to send calls to Senpai; Light, to help with Senpai’s dumb human eyes; and Minor Illusion, for some cheap holograms. For first level spells, Mage Armor makes that outfit less of a tactical issue, and Tasha’s Caustic Brew frees up some prep slots for artificer spells.

4. Sorcerer 2: Second level sorcerers are Fonts of Magic, giving you sorcery points equal to your sorcerer level each long rest. Right now they can be used to refill spell slots, or you can empty spell slots to get more points.

You can also cast Magic Missile for some caster balls. I know you’re not a caster, but you do run around with a magic wand, it’s not that wild a concept.

5. Sorcerer 3: Third level sorcerers get second level spells, as well as Metamagic to make them a little bit more you flavored. Distant Spell doubles the range of a spell (or gives it a range of 30′ if it’s touch), while Subtle Spell lets you cast a spell without all that vocal or somatic component nonsense. Why waste time chanting when you could spend it narrating?

You can also cast Enhance Ability to alter your data in favor of one kind of skill checks, gaining advantage on them for the duration. You also double your carrying capacity for strength checks, avoid small falling damage with dexterity checks, or gain temporary HP with constitution checks.

6. Sorcerer 4: Use your first Ability Score Improvement to bump up your Charisma to make Senpai notice you. And also to make your sorcerer spells harder to avoid.

You can also cast Prestidigitation to make more small magical effects, or Alter Self to further improve your being. When you cast it, you pick one of three modes. Mode 1 gives you a swimming speed and the ability to breathe underwater. Mode 2 lets you change appearance as an action for the duration, and Mode 3 lets you grow Natural Weapons that are magical against resistances. Honestly Mode 3′s a bad matchup for you, but you’re an independent AI who don’t need no humanity, I’ll let you make your own decisions.

7. Sorcerer 5: Fifth level sorcerers get Magical Guidance, letting you spend 1 sorcery point to re-roll a failed skill check. You can also cast third level spells like Dispel Magic to bonk Kiara back into horny jail. Probably. We haven’t built her yet, still not entirely sure how that’s going to work.

8. Sorcerer 6: Sixth level wild mages can Bend Luck, using their reaction and 2 sorcery points to add or subtract 1d4 to another creature’s attack, check, or save. You love playing games, but more in the ‘dungeon master’ sense.

You can also cast Clairvoyance to set up your very own BB channel studio wherever you’ve been before.

9. Artificer 3: Third level artificers can always find the Right Tool for the Job, creating whatever tools you might need over the course of a short rest. Thanks to being an Artillerist, you can also bring one of those weird geometric enemies from the CCC event to the battlefield in the form of an Eldritch Cannon, creating a freestanding small cannon or a handheld tiny one. They’re pretty customizable, but they all come in one of three flavors. Flamethrowers deal AoE fire damage, Force Ballistas deal single-target force damage and throw people around, and Protectors give out temporary HP.

You also get the freebie spells Shield and Thunderwave. 

10. Artificer 4: Use this ASI to bump up your Intelligence for better artificer spells.

11. Sorcerer 7: Seventh level sorcerers get fourth level spells, like Ego Whip! If your target fails an intelligence save, they get disadvantage on all attacks, checks, and saves, and it can’t cast spells. At the end of each turn it can try to make another intelligence save (still at disadvantage), but tbh most creatures aren’t that bright compared to you.

12. Sorcerer 8: Another ASI already? Bump up your Charisma to make it even harder to break out of your ego whip, and also grab Banishment so you can deal with that giant pain in your behind, Kingprotea (note: this level description does not contain the opinions of fateandphantasms. fateandphantasms does not condone any kind of Kingprotea hating.)

13. Sorcerer 9: Fifth level spell time! Grab Creation so you can warp reality and make pretty much whatever you might need out of thin air!

14. Artificer 5: Fifth level artillerists can make Arcane Firearms this level, adding 1d8 to artificer spell damage cast from a specific focus. This also means that your artificer spells and sorcerer spells can finally come out of the same wand, though I doubt most DMs would care to correct you before now.

You can also cast the freebie spells Scorching Ray and Shatter now, since you can learn 2nd level artificer spells. Use Heat Metal if you’re feeling sadistic, Invisibility or Spider Climb for some hacks, or grab Lesser Restoration for some cursed cupid cleansing.

15. Artificer 6: Your Tool Expertise doubles the proficiency of all tool-based checks, but you also get two more infusions, and one more concurrent infusion to boot! A Spell-Refueling Ring will give you more energy to deal with your many, many, problem children, while a Radiant Weapon will just make your wand shinier. Not that it’s a bad reason to grab it.

16. Artificer 7: At seventh level, you can speed up your processors to have Flashes of Genius, using your reaction to add your intelligence modifier to an ability check or saving throw nearby. You can use this Intelligence Modifier times per long rest.

17. Sorcerer 10: Your newest metamagic option lets you twin spells, turning a one-target spell into a two target spell. Now you can keep both your daughters under control at once with one casting of Dominate Person!

You also get the Mending cantrip, because let’s be real your outfit probably doesn’t look as good as it did 17 levels ago. Finally, you get the spell Far Step to bip and bop all over the place as you see fit. Remember, if you teleport off camera it’s not cheating!

18. Sorcerer 11: Eleventh level sorcerers get sixth level spells, like Tasha’s Otherworldly Guise! If you’re going to wear a nurse outfit, it might as well come with superpowers. You get immunities to certain damages and conditions, you can fly, your AC goes up, and your weapon attacks use your spellcasting modifier, are magical, and you can attack twice per action. Ramming a giant needle into somebody never felt so right!

19. Sorcerer 12: For your last ASI, grab the Tough feat. All these sorcerer levels have not done your HP total any favors.

20. Sorcerer 13: Your capstone level nets you a seventh level spell, so grab Plane Shift so you can finally escape the Mooncell and show Senpai all the hard work you’ve done!

Pros:

You have a ton of ways to cheat at dice, manipulating the world to always work in your favor. Re-roll dice with magical guidance and lucky, or just stick a finger on the scale with bend luck and flash of genius. Either way, your party will be thankful to have you.

You also make a decent variety caster thanks to the variety of technological goodies at your disposal. Support team communication with sending stones, spy on people with clairvoyance, create whatever the party might need with creation, or just blow people up with thunderwave and your eldritch cannon. You come packing a little bit of everything.

You’re particularly good at shutting down one or two opponents, with Ego Whip destroying their ability to do much of anything, Enthrall and Fear keeping you their main focus, or Banishment shoving them out of existence entirely.

Cons:

Those wild magic surges can bite you in the ass just as much as they help you, so try to make sure you don’t spin a bankrupt on the BB slots. Seriously though they can straight up kill your entire party at level 1. Don’t be unlucky.

Having a bit of everything means you aren’t focused on any one thing. Builds like Ishtar and -god help me- Mephistopheles?? beat you in magic damage, Scheherazade and Kogil beat you for utility, and Medea Lily and Irisviel beat you for healing. It must be nice to have so many senpais though!

Trying to keep on top of all those checks and saves means you’ll burn through your sorcery points really fast, so just... don’t push yourself too hard, you might not like what happens when you run out of power.

[thoughts-on-bangtan]

Majority of people friendzone VMIN, even though they're clearly sweeter/softer compared to other ships. But do you think, JM and V likes it that way? I mean, bec people friendzone them, they can somehow freely do anything with lesser suspicions. They can getaway with handholding or any other actions that can seem "too romantic" for some. What do you think?

This is a really interesting question and we’ll admit we’ve thought and talked about it a couple of times before. And we agree. Especially if you take Friends into consideration which, on a marketing and PR level, was a genius move on both Jimin’s (and Tae’s) but also BHs part. By giving the song such a name, it validated certain people’s opinion that “they are just friends”, highlighting the age old agenda of downplaying vmin interactions, as a large portion of the fandom do, so that now, like you said, they can hold hands or do other cute things together and they don’t have to worry about anyone suspecting anything, besides maybe vminnies but in comparison there are far fewer of us. We’ve seen countless instances where the comment section under a cute/soft vmin picture or video were filled with “awww they are such cute friends” and “aww they remind me of me and my sister” type replies, while if you look at similar pictures/videos of any other two members, the comments are filled to the brim with “awww boyfriends” or “x and x are so married, look how cute they are”.

The thing is that, in a way, Friends and the “vmin are just besties” agenda have fulfilled several different purposes, besides being a song that celebrates their bond (being the primary point of it all). What we mean is more about how by “confirming” vmin as “just” friends, it gave certain people a sense of security, as in that vmin are no longer a “threat” to their fantasies, but also a feeling of security that “if they are just friends than that means they are not gay and I can continue liking them and B/TS” (yes, I’ve seen such comments and they left me feelings very yikes as well). And those are just a few examples.

Let’s look at the way Friends was performed at BangBangCon. Jimin and Tae wore their former school uniforms, had dumpling props, and the stage was designed to mimic the bus stops for their school but also where BH used to be. Through this they’ve essentially created this vision and idea in people’s minds that “aw they are such cute school friends” (you can find comments like that on all possible sns platforms under any and all vmin content that reaches past just vminnies). They knew many won’t go read the lyrics and thus won’t know how meaningful and deep they are, most just heard a happy, upbeat song along with seeing that stage performance, and voila the “vmin friends” agenda is thriving.

But, in the grand scheme of things, even if some of this might sound a little harsh or stupid (which it is), it makes sense if you remember how private Jimin is about his private life (here’s a great review of Friends that goes into detail about Jimin in this context), how he rarely shares anything truly personal with us, and he himself once said that he doesn’t like sharing his favorite things and people (Winter Bear or “Go play with your hwarang hyungs”). Tae might seem a bit more open when it comes to gushing about Jimin, and yet even he still chooses his words very wisely, carefully, and says just enough for us to understand what he means yet without giving away any too specific details. So, by creating Friends and playing into that idea that some in the fandom already had/have, they’ve created this kind of shield for themselves behind which they can hide and feel safe, at least to a certain degree. They can do and say a lot of things, and yet no one really pay attention to it, like Tae asking Jimin to come sleep next to him, which has a variety of implications, very meaningful ones at that. And yet most have already forgotten that, or not even noticed that being said to begin with. 

Remember that song Tae shared with us on twitter? About the umbrella? How he wants to protect his love with an umbrella? Which is also a motif that shows up on the cover of Snow Flower as well? Friends and the “vmin are just besties” agenda are like that umbrella. 

Also, I (Admin 2) don’t know if you’ve noticed this but occasionally/often times when Jimin initiates some form of physical contact with Tae, he tends to look as though beyond the camera like he’s trying to see if it’s okay or if he isn’t going too far, you know what I mean? Or that time at MOTS ON:E at the end of EGO where Jimin was playing around with Tae yet straightened up and pretended like nothing happened the second he realized they were on camera. Or during the Break the Silence: Persona movie commentary when Jimin was laughing and threw himself toward Tae’s lap, he turned his head toward the staff and cameras, thus remembered they are not alone, and quickly moved back to his spot on the sofa. That makes me wonder if there aren’t also people at BH who control/oversee this aspect of things as well when it comes to vmin, while not necessarily doing the same things with other members. If maybe the whole idea behind it is to keep the main ships going while “hiding” (and by that I don’t mean that ridiculous theory of hiding one gay ship with another because we all know that’s stupid) the one that is/has potentially to actually be real as to not ruin it or pull it onto a level of potentially coming across as just fan service or boys being silly with each other as well.

To sum all of this up, we agree and we think that Tae and Jimin are surely in favor of being friend zoned by most since it means no one (or at least fewer people than with others in a similar context) is trying to push themselves into their bond, to pry at their privacy and do with them what they do with others, as in create some kind of warped version that has nothing to do with the truth or reality. Besides, even if vmin are real, it doesn’t change the fact that they are best friends/chingu as well. So really, it isn’t the kind of drag or downgrade people might think it is since really, the strongest romantic bonds are built on deep friendship, and it seems like Tae and Jimin have built themselves a very strong foundation, one that the notion of friend zoning them will never be able to shake or break. After all 95z is love.

Thank you for the great question!

[whetstonefires]

☕️ + Joker triumvirate 😘

OH YOU WANT ME TO YELL HUH????? YOU WANT THE SALT?

dlkjask;l i can’t really do an educated opinion on how this concept is being handled because i have been IGNORING IT IN HOPES IT WOULD GO AWAY, i genuinely had my fingers crossed there actually being three Jokers was a fake-out and the titular Three Jokers were really gonna be like, that single issue where the Joker had a combat trio of himself, Punchline, and Dick Grayson on the field.

but NO. i have to look at an actual comic panel and see batman and jason todd explaining to barbara gordon (tell me how THAT part makes sense she’s supposed to be the data specialist ugh) that the Joker has been three people fooling everyone into thinking there’s just one this whole fucking time

because that makes a lot of sense and doesn’t make Batman look like the most pointless joke since wow i got nothing, fill in pointless joke here.

like i was snippy about the Court of Owls getting dropped in there, not as a semi-moribund rich people cult that met up in masks to be ominous at one another twice a month for a thrill that was now coming back to life and getting dangerous, but as an active power exerting control over Gotham all these years that Batman COMPLETELY FAILED TO FUCKING NOTICE

like guys you can’t keep doing this what is the point of him anymore you’ve taken everything else away at least let him retain some competence

BUT ANYWAY

THE BATMAN WHO LAUGHS MALARKEY HAS ALSO BEEN VERY VERY BAD

IN SOME OF THE SAME WAYS AS THIS

because a character-concept like ‘clown too off-the-wall evil to stop’ works better when it’s built around the idea of that clown being an exception, something that slips through the ruleset

so creating an entire fucking magic system for how this status is contagious and yet still not justifying it mechanically in any way really fucks the suspension of disbelief that allows the character to be any fun

and also overhyping the Joker and multiplying the Joker are the same mistake and trying to do it AGAIN this soon is absurd

BUT at least the fucking BDSM CLOWN BATMAN is a multiverse phenomenon

a poorly conceived and worse-executed one but like

at least that’s just a matter of Out There There Is A Different Thing And Then It Came Here

it is, in its way, self-contained.

however this JOKER TRIUMVIRATE fuckery is

in-continuity

they are asking us to accept that for a very long time

potentially Batman’s entire career

all that exceptional wild universe-shredding madness

all that personally obsessed nemesis drama

all the outrageously overblown JOKER EVERYTHING

has been fucking coordinated among three people

i’m not sure which part offends me more, the idea that we’re supposed to believe the Joker is so ~~~*crazy unpredictable*~~~ it gives him superpowers but also he’s been a group project

A GROUP PROJECT GUYS

DO YOU KNOW HOW SANE AND RELIABLE YOU HAVE TO BE TO GET THREE PEOPLE TO HOLD UP THEIR CORNERS OF A GROUP PROJECT FOR SIX FUCKING WEEKS WITHOUT A MAJOR SLIP????

or the idea that in all this time Fucking Batman, the World’s Greatest Detective, has suspected nothing.

the batman fail is annoying as fuck okay but i guess it sort of just reinforces the stupidity of the first element by making it necessary that they’ve been perfect, so that’s the worst one. they are asking me to believe that there are three people with peak joker energy and ALL OF THEM resisted for MULTIPLE YEARS playing any of the tricks you can manage by being in two places at the same time? any time one of them was in arkham the other two HID THEMSELVES PERFECTLY?

1) how are these three guys supposed to be the Joker and yet have that kind of self-control and spirit of cooperation, how dare they expect me to believe in this and still accept that the Joker has reality-warping chaos levels and that’s just how it is?

2) if they were actually pulling this off for years without Batman suspecting anything why the FUCK would they still give a shit about him?

that’s so pathetic, folks. that’s disqualifying for nemesis status. what force could possibly compel these clowns to keep that joke running all this time when batman was failing that hard? get your punchline and go lads he’s not worth it

[wordstro]

omg okay so here are yeosang’s and wooyoung’s more indepth backstories in the hero/villain au because in between working on my wips I’ve been thinking about this universe as a whole a LOT lol. this also includes everyone else's powers (the backstories aren't as in depth yet) as well just a little worldbuilding establishment:

yeosang’s powers are persuasion. he was always a quiet, shy boy who liked to keep to himself. he wasn’t always quiet though, not until the day he activated his powers. when he was 13 years old, he’d been upset about something he didn’t even remember, that’s how insignificant it was, and he screamed and shouted at his parents. his mother sighed, and his father crossed his arms over his chest and said stop being a brat and tell us what happened. ironically, yeosang hated being told what to do. he stomped his foot in anger and shouted, “leave me alone! go away!”

then he turned and stomped up the stairs and slammed the door shut. when he emerged from his room hours later and tiptoed to the kitchen in search of food. the apartment was eerily quiet, the tv still running and the lights still on. he’d gone to sleep peacefully that night, unknowing that his parents would never return.

to this day he did not know where they were.

he’d lashed out a boy prodding at him during gym class, still reeling from his parent’s abandonment. he remembered the boy’s insult. you’re so useless and ugly. no wonder your parents left you, he’d spat. yeosang saw red. he hissed, “go jump off a bridge, asshole.” the boy’s eyes went blank and he turned away. yeosang stared after him in confusion but the bell rang and he was herded back to the school. the next day he learned that the boy jumped off the highway bridge still dressed in his gym uniform.

that’s when yeosang knew what he could do.

he did not speak and kept to himself since then, festering in guilt, always on the look out for his parents. in high school, he met a boy with a big smile on his face and mischief in his eyes. he witnessed one of yeosang’s bouts of anger, when he cornered some bully behind the school where the CCTVs were broken and kids came to smoke and skip class and he told him to forget about his victims and leave them alone, to focus on his grades and family and stop bullying innocent people. he’d owed one of the bully’s victims for her help with keeping him from failing math. jung wooyoung witnessed it all. the boy’s blank eyes and listless nod, yeosang’s test afterwards, everything. before yeosang could persuade wooyoung to forget, wooyoung flicked a finger and blue flames sparked to life at the tip of his fingers.

yeosang suppressed the relief and a sudden onslaught of tears at the sight, the knowledge that he was not alone anymore.

wooyoung used it to light his cigarette and wordlessly offered it to yeosang. yeosang grimaced.

i hate smoking, he’d said. me too, wooyoung replied with a grin, tossing the cigarette to the ground and grinding it with his heel. he swung his arms over yeosang’s shoulder and the rest was history.

yeosang spoke again and wooyoung helped him control his powers and outbursts. yeosang promised he would follow wooyoung to the ends of the earth. and he did, to the hero-villain alliance where he acted as a villain, to the underground meetings, to the coup, to his fights with a team he’d come to love just as strongly as he loved wooyoung. he followed wooyoung through everything and he would do it again and again. still, why did he feel so guilty? why did he feel so much regret?

wooyoung can control fire. his backstory was nothing horrifying. it was kind even compared to the others. he’d simply lost control one day, overwhelmed by emotions as teenagers are, and he burned down his house with his family still in it. he’d left severe burns on his mother and brother, but no one died. when the police came to investigate, his parents covered for him.

his mother reminded him that she loved him and stroked the tears from his face, reminded him that he’d made a mistake and she forgave him for it.

his brother said he forgave him too, but the fear in his eyes remained and wooyoung saw it. he worked to remove it but he saw it. it stayed with him. the fear changed him. not death nor hatred, just the way people looked at him when they found out what he could do, even when he played a hero.

when he and yeosang joined the hero-villain alliance, he’d basked in the kindness in their eyes and though he told himself that he would stop being soft, that he only cared for the people he cared for and that’s it, just his parents who were too old and exhausted and his brother who feared him and yeosang, the team wormed their way into his heart. he loved them. he really did.

they taught him to embrace his softness. they taught him to care. he’d been chosen as a hero by management. but he saw the injustice done to his kind. he despised the fear the public felt towards his villain counterparts, his best friends. it angered him.

because it wasn’t fucking fair. though wooyoung was soft he never agreed with peaceful protests. he believed in fighting and sacrificing for the greater good. peaceful protests rarely changed anything. the ends justified the means. always. so he staged a coup. he had to. for his people. for the world. for the greater good. he betrayed the people he loved most in the world and he would do it over and over again. for the greater good.

jongho’s powers are invulnerability/absolute durability. he has indestructible skin. it’s said he could withstand a nuclear bomb, but no one lets him try it no matter how many times jongho asks. jongho likes danger. it’s the only thing that keeps him entertained and gets him through the numbness he feels every single day. they made him a villain and jongho wondered if they knew that he feigned his optimism. he wondered if they knew how much he despised himself. he wondered if they knew that he used to beat people up just to feel something.

san’s power is intangibility. he can phase through objects by vibrating his molecules to pass through objects. recently he learned to phase his body parts so when someone tries to attack him, they fly straight through him. he tries to learn the science behind it but frankly he doesn’t care. jongho asked once if he could make his molecules turn into a nuclear beam, eyes alight with hope. san would always scold him, but he could see the sincerity in jongho’s eyes. san joined the hero-villain alliance last, plucked from jail for petty theft and given a second chance.

he loved too deeply, and he grew attached too quickly. it was a fatal flaw of his.

so when they betrayed him, yeosang and wooyoung especially, he grew so angry, he was terrified of the force of it. he never knew he could hold so much resentment, but he figures that if he could hold so much love, he could hold just as much hatred too. he fought with a vengeance with anger, but more than anything, with deep, deep hurt.

mingi’s power is light manipulation. he can manipulate light, blind people, create burning heat from it, and even create entire illusions by fracturing light particles. he’d blinded people with his power and he casted an illusion of himself, forever living in his hometown, suffering the consequences of a crime he should have been, and he fled. he’d met yunho on the streets before the hero-villain alliance and they quickly became best friends, brothers even.

hongjoong’s power is dimensional storage. he can store objects and people away for safekeeping. he’s been told that if he trained hard enough, long enough, he could advance his skills. he could manipulate space itself, erase people from existence, create wormholes and paradoxes, warp reality. it would be hard for him.

wooyoung spoke of the possibilities with twinkling eyes.

hongjoong couldn’t admit that his powers terrified him. he still couldn’t bury the guilt of what he did when he couldn’t control his powers. he still didn’t know which dimension he placed his hometown in, whether they were still alive, and it’s nearing twenty years since the accident.

that’s why hongjoong advocated for peace, for treaties and regulations. he hoped for the best in people because that’s all that kept him going. he didn't want to fight. he advocated for his team every single day. he loved them.

that’s why he ignored the signs that wooyoung was up to something until it was too late. every day since then he fought to bring them back, to right his shortcomings.

bonus:

technically this ateez hero/villain au takes place in the same timeline as the astro hero/villain au i have on here on AO3. so the juxtaposition between how fluffy and how much of a fun time astro/the ioi unit/etc are having vs ateez shows how much public opinion of people with powers changed over such a short period of time. especially as super powered people began emerging in droves.

astro’s stories take place when people with superpowers just started emerging. and villains and heroes hated each other but it wasn’t ever as serious as it now is. superheroes were a commodity. no one was extremely afraid of ppl with powers to the point of murder and villains only stole for the paycheck. that’s why they were all best friends. but as the government began to start regulating people with superpowers and ppl began to protest their existence, more government-run academies opened up and all of astro joined the hero-villain alliance as a team. that’s when they joined the biochemical weapons sector. at first it was fine - they didn’t work out on the field often but they hoped with their research they could help their kind and learn more abt themselves. until the experimentation got worse, more invasive, forced. eunwoo was the sole survivor. he lost his shit, but they managed to contain him at a high security facility. when jongho broke him out, eunwoo swore he would avenge them.