#organic damage

[citrusandrottefruit]

Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3

Steve probably should have had surgery after Vecna ​​died, because Hanahaki's roots seemed deep, but he chose to alternate between Max and Eddie's hospital rooms. There was no time to waste on his own health.

His parents were back this time. They had sold their house and bought a huge apartment for Steve, who wanted to stay in the city. His parents didn’t even question it, they just demanded his time for a week before leaving with a big hug and the promise of a trip somewhere nice that summer. If he had been a little younger, Steve would have been happier, but after so many years of neglect, all he could think was that this was as far as he was going to get.

A side note, an afterthought. They cared about their son, just not as much as they should have.

Steve's new apartment had four bedrooms, more than he needed, but he was glad his parents tried so hard to make up for it, because it meant he could offer Robin a room when she graduated and there would always be room for the kids. And Eddie and Wayne, who stayed with him while the government found them a new place to live.

Eddie made a joke about Steve's parents being more powerful than the government, for being able to find Steve a great place to live so quickly in a broken city while he and Wayne had to wait.

Wayne was usually around, and despite being a somewhat taciturn man, it was easy to see the love that overflowed for Eddie. It made Steve think of his mother, who had loved and suffered so intensely that she had developed Hanahaki.

And yet, she was not with him.

The cough got worse.

One day, Steve woke up in the middle of the night, struggling after yet another nightmare of torture. Some days, it was easy to forget about Vecna ​​in favor of that hour beneath the Mall, with his life in someone else's hands. On days like these, Robin was needed more than ever, but her parents didn't want her away so much, so sleeping in his new apartment was hardly an option. Calling her wasn't a good idea either, because all it would do was stress her out and they'd end up up all night on the phone. So he resigned himself to taking medication and going out to the balcony, longing for the fresh, clean night air.

He would turn on the TV or music, but he didn't want to wake Eddie, so he just stood outside with his eyes closed and imagined being alone again when Wayne and Eddie left, then tried to imagine what the trip with his parents would be like, if it were to happen. Steve still wasn't sure if he wanted to go, but it might be nice. Maybe he'd get something out of being away from Hawkins for a while. Maybe the coast would make it easier to breathe.

As lost in thought as Steve was, after years of trauma it was impossible not to be aware of the sounds around him, so when Eddie opened the bedroom door and started walking down the hall, he heard it. He stayed silent, not wanting to disturb Eddie.

Of course, Eddie didn't care and showed up a few minutes later with some tea.

For your cough, man.

After that, it became almost a ritual between them. Eddie was always there when Steve woke up startled, and Steve reciprocated. They always had nightmares, so who went to who depended on which one of them woke up first.

Sometimes they would stare at the stars in silence, other times they would talk. Most nights, they would end up in Eddie's bed, in one of the spare bedrooms, without touching each other.

Steve's room, which was definitely his and not a temporary arrangement, felt too intimate.

At the same time, Eddie began asking more and more about Steve's throat, about his shortness of breath, if he was okay, when he planned to go to the hospital. The questions became so frequent that Wayne noticed, too.

The feeling of being cared for was too much. Feared and desired in equal measure.

Eddie shouldn’t even be doing all this, because he was still bandaged, still covered in pink scars, still had a long way to go in physical therapy.

For the second time in his life, Steve felt suffocated by love.

This time, Steve almost hated it. Because he was in love with Eddie, because Eddie didn’t know the things Robin knew. Even if he loved Steve back, how could Steve demand that Eddie take care of him?

Mr. Harrington had reasons to stay with Mrs. Harrington. Although no one talked about it, Steve was sure that his father had been the trigger for his mother’s Hanahaki. And maybe if she had never left, chasing her father across the country, trying to be happy with him to stay alive, maybe… Just maybe, Steve wouldn’t have been alone and maybe he would have been healthy.

Neither Eddie nor anyone else had a good reason to pursue any kind of happiness or emotional stability with Steve.

In addition to the burden of living with a chronic, progressive disease that would possibly become terminal at some point, being emotionally involved with someone with Hanahaki was very complicated. It required loyalty, responsibility, patience, a willingness to accept endless arguments and a desire to reconcile.

Communication was essential. Making sure the other person felt good and loved, comfortable and safe. All of this was too much work, too demanding.

Loving Steve was a prison.

I'll try to post part 3 soon. I've already written the ending, but I'm thinking about how to connect this part to the ending, which will be happy.

[serpentface]

Interview Question for Etsushir:

What was the vibe like as a foot soldier during the suppression of the North Finn Rebellion? Did it feel doomed from the start or did it only fall apart once the Odomache was assaulted and killed?

[ghosty-schnibibit]

my opinion about the watcher news basically boils down to this:

watcher is screwing over a huge portion of its fanbase with this move considering how many people within it are teenagers who may not have access to streaming services, low-income adults who can't afford yet another streaming service (if any), and international fans who couldn't sign up for a US based streaming service even if they wanted to. it's okay to be angry about this, especially if you're one of those people who now can't support shows you loved or will be unable to see any of those shows going forward because of it.

and

youtube's payout to creators has dwindled in recent years to the point that it is impossible to fund the kind of productions watcher makes purely through it, and in order to sustain a company of 40+ people they need a more stable source of income not reliant on ads from outside companies and patreon, which, in this case, means a pivot to streaming. it's okay to be upset that creators you like have to turn to such methods to continue funding their work, whether you have the means to support them through these avenues or not.

and

if the early reactions to this move are any indication, watcher will probably not get the fan buy-in they anticipated and in all likelihood the new streaming site will either fail within a year or two because it isn't making enough money and take the company with it or they'll be bought out by a larger company and have their shows archived or deleted for tax purposes like what's happened to roosterteeth. it is okay to be scared by that potential future and seek to preserve as much content as you can before that happens.

are all statements that can and should coexist

[i-amusemyself]

[dallasgallant]

Unpopular take- when the time comes Pony cuts his hair far too easily.

Like tearing off a bandaid. He sits on the toilet and lets Soda cut it off, quick and fast and a bit janky. Not as even as there father would have done it, he has a few cuts along his neck from boxing it off but it’s back close to the length he likes it. All the peroxide blond on the floor around him to be swept up and put in the garbage.

It’s not that he doesn’t care, but the church… how things ended wouldn’t be what he’d want to remember Johnny by. They found ways to pass the time but those days were rough and full of fear even before the fire. He cuts it off fast and without thought because he’s a Greaser. Greasers are tuff. They stay cool. He doesn’t let it get to him because he’s a guy.

Seriously, the brand of masculinity the guys ascribe to encourages Pony to calm and burry it. The way it translates as a greaser, as a poor guy, is to Be cool, be tuff and take out everything in a fight or with a drink or drugs or crime. You’re happy or you’re angry. Now the guys aren’t complete to this, no one is but it is the pillar they look to— even if they do cry and talk and some of them look at sunsets.

Pony’s fourteen now and it’s time to cut his hair.

[crimeronan]

last time i got an irl writing critique there was one moment of pretty mild body horror and the universal reaction was "oh i'm nauseous. well done" so now i'm writing my next chapters like. gotta turn that up to one thousand :) sorry devin.

[n0tamused]

Thinking of how Jien collects things that remind her of her home during her missions and simple outings, sometimes it can range from one item, a simple souvenirs, but other times it is bags worth of items and she sends them all to her house on the Xianzhou, essentially hoarding all the little things in which she finds a sense of belonging. Her collection grows every time she goes somewhere. It makes me sad.

[itz-pandora]

Thinking about Shadow and Metadow and Metamyadow

[the-knife-consumer]

☝️ it doesn't rot.. something about the remaining psychic energy and elder godhood messing with his body and constantly regenerating stuff the instant it's hurt/dying.

This also makes him live way wayyyy longer than he normally would. Not immortal but he might as well be since he'll outlive everyone he knows and then some.

[moonlit-escape]

what the hell. gay little catboys

[stealingpotatoes]

Cal in a natural history museum. Can he see the memories of the dinosaurs (or you know, insert Star Wars equivalent)?

I'm so sorry to be the one ruin ur new year like this but most dinosaur skeletons in museums are casts, not real skeletons ):

[swan2swan]

Brooklynn is going to do this to Darius again in five years and his eighteen-year-old brain is going to EXPLODE.

[puppetmaster13u]

Thinkin of Bruce's back cavity in the Meat Marionette Au.

I like to think the spine splits open, with the default being closed and him having to flex certain muscles to open it, almost like a mouth. The cervical (upper) and lumbar (lower) vertibrae are all single pieces and don't open, the lumbar continuing down the tail, while the thoracic are split into two pieces each. There's probably specialized muscles in the back that for lack of better terms tugs and moves the ribs in the back to pull the cavity open, hence why the shoulder blades are also shifted to the sides. Or something like that lol.

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AU is a combo of my au found under the What's Out There Au tag and @phoenixcatch7's found under the Possessed Doll Au tag. Make sure to check her out!

[qqueenofhades]

....I feel Some Kinda Way about the capital-Q Queerness of this season thus far, I'll tell you that.

[botaniqueer]

Even though I always vote blue as a concession (and also because I'm easily guilted while also absolutely despising the democrats), I'm understanding of folks voting third party and I'm chill with people voting for whoever as long as it's not Trump or RFK, but a criticism I do have of third party voters is that a lot of them still have the problem the main two parties have where they come across as thinking we can vote our way out of this without some of of meta-strategy after the voting is done, and they also get attached to their candidates.

Absolutely all presidents are bad for the same reason all cops are, in that the occupation itself is structurally harmful, and the attributes of the job override whatever personal attributes the person occupying it has– the most personally nice cop in the world still is obligated to remove a homeless person from a bench while protecting capital, otherwise they lose that cop position. This applies to Jill Stein, Bernie Sanders, etc. An except to this is if the incumbent fully intends to dismantle the position, but it's exceedingly hard to gain the position with this goal, and keeping the job longer enough to successfully execute it without the job changing or compromising the person first.

As mentioned in other posts, the absolute minimum job of the US president is to maintain the suppression of a collection of 500+ ethnic groups, and prevent them from having true agency or full access to the land. If this isn't maintained, the United States literally can't keep existing in a meaningful way and ends up evaporating. This will become Jill Stein or Cornell West's job if they are elected, same as when Bush or Biden have the job.

Actually using electoralism as a strategy requires good organizing for after the candidate is elected, and specifically not getting attached to them and thinking of them purely as a means to an end. Liberation and the position of the presidency are inherently at odds, so there will be times you will need to fight against your own candidate. The Democrats are notorious for getting attached despite using the "you're not marrying them!" refrain, shushing people for saying anything vaguely critical.

The metaphor I think of is dungeon crawling roguelike games, or any other game where you choose branching paths in that you're choosing the challenges you think you're best equipped to deal with, but you do still have to deal with them. You can't do what the democrats do and lay down arms immediately after choosing the more favorable path, just being it's better than Trump, and I expect the same from third party voters as well as to not be like the DNC. In the unlikely case in which a third party candidate gets elected, there still has to be a struggle, otherwise the United States and other settler nations will continue to persist and hurt others, even if things are better for most settlers, and there will always be the likelihood of things ending up back where we are now if we don't follow through.

[awfullybigwardrobe44]

Important prayer request

Hi everyone. I volunteer for an absolutely amazing organization that helps victims of sex trafficking, and I do data entry for them.

I was emailed tonight and it sounds like I’ve been doing something wrong the entire time I’ve been doing it—I think I’ve been in 3 times so far, so I’ve probably done hundreds of entries.

This is an incredibly worthy organization and I have messed this up colossally for them. I don’t know if it’s entirely my fault, but most of it probably is.

Please pray they/I can undo any damage I may have caused and that this doesn’t have any repercussions for them. I feel like crap.