#ordained members of the church

[semperreformanda]

people don't say this enough, but the Christian life is hard. denying yourself is hard. mortifying sin is hard. resisting temptations is hard. i look at this world which is so antichrist and in my down moments i have thought, it's like you're being set up to fail in your pursuit of holiness.

and it's easy to be discouraged when:

you're not a member of a good biblical church (aka the gospel is proclaimed, there is expository preaching of the Word, the sacraments of the Lord's Supper and baptism)

you don't make diligent use of the means of grace (aka you don't pray often, you don't read the Word often, you don't partake in the sacraments often)

you don't have frequent fellowship with the saints (and i don't mean you just chitchat after service, i mean you share your life with one another. bearing one another's burdens and rejoicing with one another. crying about a struggle over brunch, inviting a family over, making meals for a newly postpartum mom...)

these things are game changers. God ordained these means for us to thrive in our Christian life. we need other believers calling us out, keeping us accountable; rejoicing with us; crying with us and exhorting us. we need the tangible means of the Lord's Supper wherein God communicates with us the Gospel in the language we understand, where we can "taste and see that the Lord is good"! we need baptism to remind us that He has claimed us for Himself and His promises will prevail. we need the Word preached in all its fullness, Sunday after Sunday after Sunday. we need to pray and pray with/for one another. we need to read the Word until we feel better and stronger.

God gave us these blessings, beloved. why do we struggle so hard? because sometimes we forsake these means of grace. (not to say you won't struggle anymore when you partake of these, but we are missing out on extraordinary blessings when we forsake them).

yes, the Christian life is hard. but we make it extra hard on ourselves when we don't partake in these means of grace. it's good and encouraging to remember that God has given us all that we need for life and godliness.

and one of the best things He gave us is this: His Church.

[k3n-dyll]

♱Sinful Deeds

𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐖𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠 ; 18+, wlw, fem!reader, lots of religious themes, internalized homophobia, religious guilt, sex in a church, cheating, blasphemy, reader's husband is an ass, dom!Abby, sub!reader, inexperienced!reader (with women), oral(r!receiving), fingering (r!receiving), spit, corruption (?)

𝐖𝐂 - 3k

𝐊𝐞𝐧'𝐬 𝐍𝐨𝐭𝐞𝐬 ☆ Read the content warnings, if it's not your thing just scroll ♡ . Also can't lie, I rushed the end a little I'm sorry I need to clear my drafts.

Priest!Abby who worked hard all her life to get where she is. Under her father's encouragement, she's made a good name for herself within a small community in this town. Despite setbacks, of course. To be ordained a priest, and to be a young woman is to be criticized - she'd known that from the beginning. Many people consider her a fraud. Consider her a disgrace amongst the church. Initially, her ordination damn near started a riot in front of the very chapel she preaches in.

That, she figured, would be the worst of it. The defamatory statements and the nasty rumors spread about her character and her morals; many families that had originally attended the church back when her father ran it either reluctantly accepted her or left the congregation entirely.

She had her days, of course. Where the rude comments and the disrespect nearly got to her. Nearly caused her to drop any semblance of professionalism within her body and let herself get angry. But with her trust in God and her strength of faith - all of the bitterly uttered words about her, the vitriol thrown her way - it slid right off of her like water off of a ducks feathered back.

If you were to ever ask her, she'd say that her real problems began with you. The day you had walked into the chapel in the midst of her sermon which was - ironically enough - pertaining to marriage, and sat down with your husband in the very back pew so as not to disturb anyone with your tardiness. It's almost shameful how vividly she remembers the dress you'd worn that day; a pretty, pale yellow number that stopped just above your ankles. The color combined so beautifully with your skin and brought out your eyes even from her place up front, the pleats of the modest dress flowing around your legs with each quiet step you'd taken. She'd been so tempted to take her speech elsewhere to get a better look at you. Tempted to stray from her stance behind the pulpit just to stare at you up close.

Temptation. The issue you had brought with your presence alone. Abby couldn't blame you, of course, she'd been dealing with these urges since she was a teenager and well...she's not perfect by any means. She's had her fair share of one-night stands and flings - a much looser version of herself that she normally keeps well hidden from the members of her church.

She'd been damn near giddy when she finally got the chance to speak to you once the service was over, only to find herself disappointed again at the way your husband seemed to interject himself into any conversation she attempted to start with you.

"Hello..." She said, a small smile plastered on her lips. Despite the way she had trained herself to speak to every person in the church with a similar, if not the same amount of intrigue and attention, her eyes never once left you as she spoke. "I don't believe I've had the pleasure of meeting either of you before?" You nodded, offering a polite smile back to her, but before you could even open your mouth to say something, your husband had piped up, introducing himself first, and then you as his wife.

Over time, Abby began to notice that it's a quite common behavior for your husband - the man often using your learned timidity as an opportunity to speak over you at every turn. And he often gets his way.

She'd seen it before. In the church, it's a tale as old as time; a man on a power trip marries a young woman who's likely been taught how to be a good and 'proper' wife from the moment she was born - quiet, submissive, a pretty doll that he can have on his arm but never actually have to listen to.

Priest!Abby who, after giving her sermons, preaching to others about self-control, and willing themselves against sin - finds herself with her hand stuffed down her boxers late at night in her bed, thick fingers curled deep into her pussy, a small, pink bullet pulsating in the other against her clit, touching herself to the thought of you. You're so sweet, and quiet, and delicate... and breakable. The image of you beneath her naked, writhing and panting underneath her touch is so clear in her mind, the blonde practically whimpering as she cums at the thought of your pretty body being so overwhelmed with pleasure that you shake and twitch at the lightest brush of her fingers.

She figured she'd never have you. As much as she craved it, as much as she wanted to trail her hands along your bare curves, Abby knew well in her mind that you would stay loyal and dedicated to the man you married. Still, the day you come to her alone with the intent to confess, excitement wells up in in her at the potential opportunity.

Saturday afternoons for Abby were generally the same, spending her time sitting on the other side of the partition in the small confession booth and listening to the perceived wrongdoings of those in her congregation. Most of the time she doesn't remember. She doesn't even put in the effort to recognize the voices of those she advises, as figuring out who committed what sin and who didn't isn't really what she's here for, but the moment she hears your voice - that soft, melodic tone of yours that she's fantasized about for weeks on end - she can't seem to help herself.

You aren't used to this kind of thing - it's never gotten this bad to the point where you feel you need to confess...but you can only run from your own mind so much. The silence is deafening as you settle yourself into the booth, and it only serves to make you more nervous. You can hear the subtle sound of Abby's breathing, the rhythmic thumping of your own heart pumping. Shakily, you sign the cross over your body, nipping at the very tip of your thumbnail before you speak.

"Forgive me...for I have sinned" you murmur. "This...this is my first confession."

You speak a lot more than you had originally intended, spilling your guts to the woman on the other side of the screen, the somewhat private setting making it easier for you to let go of everything you'd been suppressing. Abby's almost shocked to hear about your struggles with your urges. Your desires to be with someone that isn't your husband. With someone that isn't even a man in the first place. Years of training herself is the only thing that stops her from showing her irritation at the way you deem these things deeply immoral as well as, selfishly, her elation at the idea that she may have a chance.

Abby is silent for a moment after you finish speaking, letting herself sit with her thoughts, trying and failing not to allow her own greedy desires consume her mind though unbeknownst to her, her quiet only causes the pit of dread in your stomach to swell. It's when she clears her throat that you tense up even more, preparing yourself to be scolded, or worse, kicked out. You've seen it happen before - people shunned and shamed for so much as thinking of the same sex in that way.

"You aren't in any trouble child, calm down." She says finally and you realize you've been tapping your nails rhythmically against the wooden wall. Though she can't see you, you nod and stop, transferring the little assault to your thigh.

Abby knows full well that she should just wrap this up. She should give you something to do - tell you to say a prayer, to beg Christ for mercy on your soul in hopes that these 'immoral' thoughts stop weighing on you, but Abby of all people knows that it doesn't work that way. Not with this.

Before Abby can stop herself, she's already asked you up to her office, shocked by the lack of resistance to her request. Closing the door behind her, she stands, eyeing your frame as you take a seat in front of her desk. She can practically see the anxiety seeping through your pores - the constant tapping at your leg, the shifting in your spot. Without much thought, she walks over and places a hand on your shoulder, squeezing gently to calm you down.

"This isn't something I typically do." She starts. "I honestly probably shouldn't be doing this right now at all, but I do think we need to talk. No judgment, no barriers, okay?"

You nod but your body is still rigid, the warmth of her large palm on your shoulder is almost enough to send tingles through your body, guilt swarming in your gut at the unconscious reaction.

"I could just send you on your way. I could tell you to repent and beg and plead with God to make you better but..." Abby sighs, removing her hand from your shoulder to stand at her desk, leaning up against it to face you as she tries to think of ways to word what she wants to say. "...I don't want to lie to you."

"Lie to me?" You ask, dumbfounded, to which Abby just chuckles quietly. She knows what the Bible says is law to you, and to hear a priest refute that in any way is likely confusing.

"What I'm saying is: this isn't something that can be prayed away. No matter how badly you may want it to be, it simply isn't."

You shake your head at her words, finding it ridiculous. Or at least you want to, but deep down you know she's right. You've tried praying more than enough times to know that it will end in nothing changing. Still, you're stubborn.

"But my husband. I-I love him"

"Do you?"

"I-" The lie dies in the back of your throat. The fact that you can't bring yourself to answer confidently, or at all for that matter is all the confirmation Abby needs. A beat of silence passes before Abby says anything else, giving you time to sit in your lack of certainty before moving on.

"That's not to say I don't have a...solution in mind" As she speaks, she inches close until she's standing directly in front of you, forcing you to crane your neck to look up at her towering frame above your seated one. Your senses suddenly feel foggy, the scent of pine and musk filling your nose, your eyes unable to focus anywhere but on the stretched fabric outlining her biceps and torso. You could swear she wears a uniform that size just to show off. You blink a few times in a failed attempt to snap yourself out of it.

"I thought you said there was no way to fix it"

Abby's eyes darken, a soft chuckle escaping her at your words. "No. It can't be 'fixed', honey. Desires like that don't just go away... but they can be satiated. Temporarily at least." Gently, she catches your chin between her thumb and forefinger to keep you looking at her.

"I'm...I'm married, it wouldn't be right. I can't do that to him.." You start in half-hearted protest, the implication of her words clear. Your eyes shift to the side, though you make no move to pull away.

"He isn't a factor right now. My focus is you" The pad of her thumb lightly grazes against your lower lip. "Look, I won't push you. If that's not something you want to do, I understand, but really, how long do you think you can keep pretending, hm ? How long until you break?"

Your eyes flutter as she leans closer, the sensation of her warm breath on your skin sending shivers through your spine.

"I've been so...good at pretending..." Your voice is little more than a whisper, melting into her touch despite the alarms going off in your mind. You push it back. "I don't think I can do it anymore..."

"Oh, baby I know..."

It's only a split second between the words leaving her mouth and her lips pressing against yours, her strong palms cupping your cheeks. Though her hands are rough to the touch her hold on you is gentle. Reverent, even. Her fingers ghosting along your skin as if you're a precious jewel she's afraid to shatter. It's slow, yet overwhelming - her kisses tracing a path from your lips to your neck, from neck to collarbone. You feel her begin to massage your thighs, kneading them over the fabric of your dress before getting impatient and slipping them just underneath it.

You should be disgusted with yourself. Disgusted with her. With this. But the ungodly, hungry way at which she kisses and nips at your flesh only brings on an excitement within you that feels almost wild. Like something that had been leashed and caged within you was finally let free. You should pray. But instead of clasping together your hands begin to weave into Abby's hair, gripping and tugging at it to keep her close. The priestess whines at the sensation and you swear her knees buckle. That or her will is hanging by an invisible thread because she sinks to her knees in front of you.

"Let me taste you.." She breathes out, her gaze shifting from your face to your thighs, her hands still rubbing at them, slowly inching the skirt of your dress up further.

You think to hesitate but your body may as well be on autopilot, the mere thought of having her head between them enough to slowly pry your legs open without much coaxing. It'd be embarrassing if Abby didn't seem just as desperate as you.

Her hand slips between your thighs the second they're apart, a thick finger trailing along your slit just over your panties, the wet spot that's formed there amusing to her.

"See what I do to you?" She asks, a small, cocky smirk playing at her lips. "He could never get you like this, we both know it"

All you can do is give a pathetic nod and an even more pitiful whine as Abby teases you, her face inching closer until she's nosing your clothed clit, vivid blues unblinking as she takes in your reaction.

"Please, Abby..." You plea needily, voice cracking despite your attempts to sound stable.

She's merciful to you, wasting no time or words in pushing your panties to the side, parting her lips to allow her mouth to water freely, the coolness of her saliva sliding along your slit sending a jolt of electricity through your senses. Her fingers are first, the blonde collecting the slick mixture of spit and arousal to coat the two of the digits and carefully pushing them inside before she flicks her tongue teasingly against your clit.

Maybe you should feel guilt for this - unashamedly allowing a member of the clergy of all people, to defile you in such a way in a holy place. Throwing your head back, clasping your hands against the armrests of your seat, moaning and whining obnoxiously under the corruption of her tongue. Maybe you would feel guilty. If only it didn't feel so fucking good.

A loving deity would not deprive you of this feeling, at least that's how you justify it in your head as you cry out for more, eyes screwed shut as previously suppressed vulgarities spill past your lips.

"Abby, fuck, just like that - please!" Your cries are loud, tone little less than whorish in nature. "F-feels so fucking good, oh God"

Abby chuckles against you at that, but she doesn't speak. While the irony of you calling out for God amuses her somewhat, she can't tease. She can barely bring herself to pull away from you, her mouth and chin covered, glistening with your wetness, fingers ruthlessly sloshing in and out of your fluttering walls. You're like a drug to her in this moment. Something to be desired. Worshipped.

She finds her free hand stuffed down her slacks, her own core throbbing with need as she admires the pornographic image of your body writhing before her. The low vibrations that come from Abby's muffled moans only send you that much closer to the edge. Only that much closer to the release your body has practically been begging for and yet could never receive at the hands of your husband.

When your thighs clamp against her head, her jaw worn and slightly pained, she doesn't let up even a little bit, lapping at you with her tongue as if watching you unravel was critical to her existence. It just might be with how intently she stares up at you, not letting a drop of your cum escape her mouth as you finally let go, fingers still slipping in and out of you in languid motions. Abby's completely disregarded her own need in place of your own, her hand stilled in her boxers, something she only realizes when you begin to calm down.

"You didn't-" You start to question her, pushing golden strands away from her freckled face with your hand when you notice.

"It's okay, baby" She interrupts, her words coming as a pleased murmur. "This wasn't about me"

You shake your head a little, but before you can protest she's pulled you toward her, her pink puffed lips catching your own in a messy kiss, strings of saliva and cum breaking between your mouths with each breath taken. You let it happen for a while. It's oddly...comfortable. A sense of warmth calming your body in a way it hasn't in a long time before this.

As if on cue, a loud, grating tune breaks the illusion. The sound of a phone ringing. Your phone.

The 4 missed calls from your husband stare reality back into you both and utter dread sends that all too familiar chill through your bones once again.

Donations 4 Palestine - TLOU2 Masterlist

Taglist ; @half-of-a-gay, @porcelainmystery , @tohoko, @rkivedpages, @misfits-army-van,

@andersonfilms,

[lipglossanon]

December Winds

.・。.・゜❅・.・❅.・。.・゜❅・.・❅.・。.・゜

Priest!Leon S. Kennedy x fem!reader (one shot)

dedicated to you 💀 anon! 💜 I hope you like it!

warnings: 18+ minors DNI, religious connotations, Leon POV, dirty talk, nipple teasing, oral (m & f receiving), rimming (m receiving 🫣), unprotected sex, creampie, kissing, biting, slight blood

kinda beta read by my friend Rex 💜 (only like 80% so any mistakes are my own 😅 )

title from December Winds by Nox Arcana

.・。.・゜❅・.・❅.・。.・゜❅・.・❅.・。.・゜

After Spain, Leon quits. As he tells the president, “I’ve seen enough.” And he meant it. He packs up everything, quietly bids goodbye to the few coworkers he respects and leaves out from Washington DC, praying he’ll never see the place again. 

He searches for a job that’s a little less stressful and a lot more reclusive. He stumbles across an online ad looking for a live-in priest for a small rundown chapel buried in the middle of the Appalachian mountains. A quick search on google maps yields the exact results he’s hoping for—there’s nothing around for miles and miles. 

It’s a cinch to get ordained online and even easier to order the cassock and Roman collar. He already has plenty of black shirts, pants, and even shoes, meaning it’s no sweat at all for him to look the part by the end of the week. 

When he arrives at the small church, there’s a handful of elderly people gathered to give him a short walk through the place. They leave him with plenty of homemade food as well as their phone numbers for the cracked rotary phone in the office in case he needs any help.

The months roll by and slowly bleeds into a couple of years. He always sees the same handful of people at service, sometimes joined by visiting family members, but always a small congregation which is what he prefers. This year hasn’t been any different, that is until a knock rings out in the empty vestibule drawing him up short as he lays out pamphlets for next week's Christmas service. 

Pulling open the heavy oak doors, he’s surprised to see a new face. You stand there shivering in the cold, jacketed arms clutching your middle. 

“H-hi,” you give him a bright smile despite your chattering teeth, “m-my car’s s-s-stuck in the s-snow and—“

Before you can finish, Leon’s opening the door wider, feeling chill bumps race across his arms as the cold winter air gusts past you and into the church. 

“Please, come in,” he steps back so you’ll follow. 

Once inside, he shuts and bolts the door closed. 

“I’m s-so glad someone’s here,” you laugh.

Leon watches you, expression stoic even though internally he’s cataloging every single thing about you with heavy interest. 

He sees your smile tremble a little, your own gaze roving his face. 

“I’m s-sorry to bother you,” you rub your hands together for warmth, “if I c-could just make a call, I’ll b-be out of your hair in n-no time.”

You pull your cellphone out with a frown, “I h-haven’t had service in miles.”

Leon glances down at your hands before looking back up into your face, nervousness radiating from your body language. 

He turns, talking loud enough for you to hear as you follow behind him, “Phone’s in the office. If you can’t reach anyone, I have a number to a local mechanic who can help tow you out.”

“Thank you so much,” your voice sounds relieved, “I hate bothering you, but I really appreciate the help.”

“Of course, it’s what I’m here for.”

He glances back over his shoulder and sees your gaze wandering around the church, taking in the clean if rough hewn pews and stained glass windows. Your eyes cut to his quickly as if you sensed him watching, giving him a shy smile. 

“You have a beautiful church, Mister?”

“Father Kennedy,” he answers, voice a little rougher than intended as you bite your lip in embarrassment.

“Sorry, not really up on my religion,” you laugh a little bashfully, “it’s nice to meet you, Father Kennedy.”

“Likewise,” Leon turns his attention to opening the office door, gesturing for you to enter first. 

His eyes slide down your body, taking in your curves, and shaking away the urge to sink his teeth into your soft neck. You walk over to the old rotary phone, something Leon never updated as it still works just fine. 

“Oh wow, my grandma had one of these!” you grin at him, “it’s so cute that you kept it for your office.”

That dark urge to bite you flares up in his chest again but he shoves it down. He nods at you instead of saying anything and you turn back to the phone. 

Picking up the handset, you frown and click on the dial a few times before setting it back down on the cradle. 

“Seems like your phone’s out,” you bite your lip again, looking agitated. 

Leon shrugs, “Tends to happen this time of year. No telling when it’ll start working again.”

You nod along and blow out a breath, “Okay, we’ll I’ll head back to the car and see if I can—“

“Stay the night.”

That pulls you up short and he wants to laugh at the wide eyed look you give him. 

“Stay here and we can try the phone again. If it doesn’t work, I can walk you to the nearest neighbor and try their phone.”

A soft smile crosses your face and Leon’s hit with an avalanche of impure want purring in his chest. 

“Are you sure it’s no trouble? I mean I’d really appreciate it, but I don’t wanna put you out.”

“No trouble, besides I’m here to help those in need,” a crooked grin slips out, “and you seem to fit that description.”

Another shy bite of your lip has him shifting his feet, willing himself not to do anything to you. 

“Okay then,” you give him the brightest smile yet, “thank you, Father Kennedy. I don’t know where I’d be without you.”

A sudden flash of you thanking him on your knees floods his thoughts and he turns away from you, adjusting his half hard cock through his slacks, never more grateful to wear all black than now. 

“Follow me please,” he calls out to you, listening as you quickly walk to catch up. 

He also listens as you introduce yourself and explain as to why you’re out here in the first place, basically boiling it down to visiting some family for the holidays. Nodding along, he guides you into his living quarters which just happens to be a bedroom big enough to house a bed and a desk with a few bookshelves. 

“It’s so cozy,” you gush, running your hand along some of the handmade quilts and crocheted throws the church parishioners have given him over the years. 

“It’s home,” he states simply, moving to the fireplace and stoking the embers into a flame. 

“I’m kinda impressed,” you say as you hang up your jacket near the door, “it’s really rare to see someone so young as a priest in these kinds of communities.”

When he only gives you a deadpan expression, you begin to flounder. 

“Oh I mean, I grew up near here and so I’m just used to like older— you know what, I just feel like I’m digging a hole for myself,” you drag your palms across your eyes, “it’s just different is all. And either way I'm happy to have met you.”

Leon finally lets his lips quirk up into a half smile, amused at your reactions. 

“I understand, it’s just funny to see you try to explain it,” he moves away from the fireplace and grabs a change of clothes, ignoring how your cute pout is making him feel. 

“There’s a bathroom just through that door,” he points to his right, your left, “I’m sure you don’t want to sleep in jeans. There’s also some spare toothbrushes in the medicine cabinet.”

He watches as you get flustered when taking the simple sweats and cotton t-shirt. 

“Oh yeah, thanks,” you duck your head trying to hide your face and disappear behind the bathroom door to change. 

Leon lets out a long breath, trying to ease the tension building up in his chest. The wanting seems to only be getting worse the more time he’s spending with you. It’s like he’s a teenager seeing a skin magazine for the first time. 

Has he really been out here that long without seeing a pretty little thing like you? He’s in the midst of his thoughts while removing his collar and unbuttoning his cassock when he hears a soft squeak. 

He turns to see your eyes shut tight, hands clenching your bundled up clothes to your chest.

“Sorry I didn’t mean to!”

Leon frowns before looking down to see his bare chest offset by his rosary. Heat washes through him to see you peek again and bite down on your lip hard as you turn away. 

“I honestly was on autopilot,” he murmurs, voice rough making him clear his throat, “apologies, I’ll go change in the bathroom while you get settled.”

You gasp as he brushes past you to enter the bathroom. Grabbing onto the sink, Leon stares at his own blown pupils in the mirror. 

Get it together. It’s just a woman. A sweet woman. A pretty woman who probably has an equally pretty little cunt—

Shaking his head to clear it, he finishes dressing for bed. As he brushes his teeth, his eyes wander and notice the toothbrush you used sitting off to the side. A sudden flash of possessiveness surprises him leading him to quickly finish up and make his way back into the bedroom. 

You startle, standing up from sitting at the edge of the bed. 

Hands wringing together, you smile nervously, “Uh I-I wasn’t sure where to sleep? Like I can take the floor—“

He’s shaking his head already interrupting you, “We’ll share the bed. It gets extremely cold at night and it wouldn’t be safe to sleep on the floor.”

You frown over at the bed and look back at him apprehensively, “I can just use the quilts to make a pallet in front of the fire.”

“Please,” he gestures to the bed, “there’s no central heating and it gets deathly cold some nights. Even with the fire, I’d be afraid you would get frostbite.”

“I’ll sleep against the wall,” he softens his voice, “we’ll put pillows between us if you’d like and you can have the edge.”

He watches you bite on that damn lower lip again, wanting it between his own teeth. 

Nodding, your eyes seek out his again, “Okay. And we’ll try again first thing in the morning?”

“Of course,” he agrees easily, “I tend to wake early so I can check and wake you if need be.”

Your features melt from concern to thankful, “That’s very sweet of you, Father.”

A hot pulse of arousal makes his dick twitch but Leon ignores it in favor of offering you a slight smile. 

“Of course. Shall we?” he nods at the bed. 

You climb in after him, settling down under the layers of blankets and quilts. 

“I definitely never would’ve guessed I’d start my vacation by sharing a bed with a priest,” you giggle to yourself. 

“Unusual to say the least,” he dryly replies, sea dark eyes watching as you turn on your side, back facing him. 

You hum softly, shoulders twitching under the shirt and legs swishing under the covers. 

“Good night, Father Kennedy,” your soft voice has him gripping the blanket tightly. 

“Goodnight.”

It’s driving Leon up the wall with how badly he wants to reach out and touch you. Settling a little more, he listens as your breathing evens out and finds his own eyes slipping shut. 

Later in the night, he wakes up to your tossing and turning, feeling you press your ass back against him. He stifles a groan, eyes adjusting to the low light from the fireplace. You keep fidgeting, accidentally rubbing against his chubbed cock until he’s thickening in his sweats. His heavy hand reaches down and grabs you hip, stilling your movement. 

“Sorry,” your sleepily mumble, “‘m trying to get comfy.”

He dips his head down to ghost his lips across the shell of your ear, feeling you shiver, “Doesn’t seem that way to me.”

He rocks forward, letting his bulge rub against your ass; you whine and press back against him harder. 

“I’m sorry,” you whisper, “I promise I didn’t mean to.”

“Sorry, huh?” he dips his tongue into your ear making you whimper, “are you asking for forgiveness?”

His hand grasps your hip and pulls you into a slow rhythm of grinding back against his stiff cock. 

“Oh,” you mewl as he kisses the shell of your ear, “I’m sorry.”

“That’s not how you ask,” he chuckles, kissing down your neck, “you know better than that.”

You moan as he bites down on the soft skin that’s been tempting him all this time. 

“Forgive me, Father Kennedy,” you break the rhythm and grind back against him harder, “I’m so sorry I’m being so bad. God, can’t believe I’m dry humping a priest.”

A smack lands on your ass making you jump. 

“We don’t take the Lord's name in vain either,” his low voice slips into your ear, “for that, you get those cute little nipples pinched.”

As you moan, he rolls you over onto your back, slipping an arm around your shoulders so both of his hands can knead and grope at your breasts. 

“Pull your shirt up,” he murmurs in your ear, “be a good girl for me.”

You shove the t-shirt up to pool around your neck, hands settling back down to twist in the sheets. His fingers quickly move to circle and pinch your hard nipples. 

“Oh, ohhh,” your eyes squeeze shut as he teases and rubs your hard buds, “Father, please.”

He bites your neck again making you writhe and press your breasts up into his hands. 

“Please,” you whimper, eyes glimmering at him in the firelight, bottom lip swollen from your own teeth. 

“Who knew such a tempting sinful girl would end up in my church much less my own bed,” he rumbles in your ear, grinding against your hip as he teases your nipples. 

“Father Kennedy,” you swipe a soft, pink tongue against your lips, making his teeth ache, “shouldn’t we stop?”

“Do you want to stop?” he kisses your jaw, fingers tweaking your nipples sharply making you moan high in your throat. 

“No, no, please, it’s so—you’re so hot,” you whine, hips squirming for friction under the blankets, “please, Father, want you so bad.”

“It’s a sin to tempt a priest,” he trails his lips across your neck to suck another mark into your skin, “you’ll have to repent.”

“H-how?” your eyes flutter, trying valiantly to stay open. 

He pulls away with a smirk, “You’ll have to use your body in service to the Lord.”

A keening whimper escapes your lips, hands shakily reaching up to run through his sandy blonde hair. 

“I-I’ll do anything,” you scratch your nails along his scalp making him groan, “just show me how I need to repent, Father Kennedy.”

He pulls his arm out from under you so he can climb on top of you, settling in between your thighs. Your hands pull his hair as he sucks a hard nipple into his hot mouth. He ruts against the mattress as he suckles each hard bud, nipping at the soft skin of your breasts and leaving marks everywhere. 

“It’s been so long since I’ve had a pair of tits in my face,” his voice is low, smoky, and he can feel your legs try to press together only stopped by his bulky body.

He takes his time, kissing the areola before running his tongue over your nipple, letting his teeth softly bite down before sucking it further into his mouth. Your hips buck up against his chest as he lays on top of you. He can feel how wet you’ve gotten already, the soft press of your panties against his skin leaving behind a sticky mess. 

He pulls back to look up into your dazed eyes, “Let me taste that wet pussy.”

You moan, hands tensing in his hair, “Y-you want to?”

“I wouldn’t offer if I didn’t,” he grins, “besides I wanna clean up that messy cunt with my tongue before you get slick all over my sheets.”

He scoots down, dragging his lips across your tummy and dropping kisses as he goes. 

“We’ll keep the blankets pulled up so you don’t get cold,” he murmurs as he bites your hip bone before soothing it with his tongue. 

You give him a shaky nod, “Okay, Father.”

He bucks his hips at that, feeling his cock leak in his sweats. He feels as you tug the blankets up and when he looks back up he can barely see your face making this seem so illicit and dirty it’s getting him even harder. 

He quickly eases your panties down your legs and tosses them on the outside of the blankets before settling between your legs again. Leon lets his instructive thoughts win and bites bruise after bruise into the dough of your thighs, sucking and worrying the skin until you're squirming against his mouth.  

He bites his way up to the crease of your thigh then lets his tongue trail across your skin until he’s lapping at your swollen clit. He hears as you moan loudly, thighs falling open wider as he hungrily licks into your cunt. 

“You taste like sin,” he groans as he pulls back to spread your pussy open, “so fucking good.”

Pressing his face tightly against your slick coated lips, he flutters his tongue into your soaked hole and grinds his nose against your bundle of nerves. He slips his tongue in and out of your hole before licking back up to your throbbing clit, softly kissing the sensitive bud again and again until sucking it gently into his mouth. 

Sweat beads around his hairline as it grows warmer underneath the layers of covers. Leon mouths at your sloppy cunt until you’re moaning loudly as slick coats his chin and lower jaw. Once your thighs start to tremble, he pulls away and crawls back up your body. The cooler air of the room kissing his sweaty skin as your hands scrabble against his shoulders. 

“‘M so close,” you whimper as you tug him into a messy kiss, “wanna cum, please Father.” 

He clicks his tongue, “You have to work hard for forgiveness,” he presses his thumb down against your chin making your lips part. 

“Maybe we should try filling that mouth up first,” he murmurs, watching as your eyes droop. 

You nod, running your hands down his broad chest, “Please, wanna see you, too.”

Surprise crosses his features, but he schools it into a crooked smile, “Aren’t you sweet? Take your shirt off for me while I get undressed.”

In no time, he’s kneeling between your parted thighs, completely nude save for the rosary around his neck. When he goes to slip it off, your hand snaps around his wrist.

He watches as the embarrassment wars with arousal as you ask him to keep wearing it. His dick throbs and kicks against his thigh and your eyes go lidded as they take in his thick cock.

“Allow me to show you how sorry I am, Father,” you scratch your nails across his chest all the way down his toned stomach to a happy trail that leads to the thatch of hair above his cock. 

Goosebumps travel across his skin when you rub across his hips bones, breath ghosting across the drippy head of his dick. 

Your tongue lathes over the slit, circling his tip and teasing under his foreskin before you pull back. 

That shy look steals over your face, “Can you sit here?”

You pat the gap in the pillows in front of the headboard. Leon’s lips quirk in amusement and shifts to sit with his back to the headboard and legs splayed out across the bed. You move to kneel in between his thighs, eyes greedily taking in his stiff cock. 

He watches as you lean forward, one hand coming up to grip the base of his cock as the other rests on his thigh, and slowly sucks the head of his dick into your mouth. Your eyes shutter with a moan as you take more and more of his cock into your mouth until you choke. 

Pulling off with a gasp, your watery eyes blink open staying on his as you sink back down on his cock. His abdomen tenses and he grabs the back of your neck with his broad palm to guide your head. 

“No need to rush,” his eyes track your tongue as you lick and kiss all along his dripping slit.

“You taste so good,” you moan as you lick your way down to his balls. 

Leon keeps his gaze on you as your wet mouth sucks his balls into your mouth, whining when you can’t fit both at the same time. You smear your face against the spit slick skin of his squishy sac as you nuzzle and suck his taint.  

“Oh, good girl,” he parts his legs wider so your mouth can reach him easier. 

Your glazed eyes slide shut when you slip your tongue down further to ghost across his asshole. Tongue drifting lazily against it, Leon grunts when you finally lick into him. 

“Such an eager girl,” he rasps as you softly eat him out, tongue eagerly rimming his hole. 

You sloppily makeout with his hole as his cock weeps precum everywhere; his own heavy hands keep your face buried between his cheeks. 

When you finally pull back, your chin’s coated with spit. 

“Suck my cock a little more and I’ll fill up that needy cunt,” he pulls your swollen mouth to the weeping head. 

Whining, you easily follow along and let his thick cock sink back into your mouth. He luxuriates in the feeling, the feeling of your hot hungry mouth slurping loudly around his dick. You moan and whine around him, rubbing your thighs together for friction. He smirks to see you acting so needy, so obedient in servicing him. 

“Up,” he murmurs, grabbing your neck and pulling you off of his cock.

Your hands reach out to dig into his pecs, framing the rosary between your hands as you straddle his lap, his cock snugly pressing against your pussy. 

“Oh, Father, please,” you grind down on his wet cock, dragging slick along his throbbing length until your clit’s bumping his tip. 

“Poor little lamb,” his hands grab your hips, letting you rock against him. 

With the grip he has on your hips, he easily manhandles you onto your back, kneeling between your spread legs, cock leaking all over your wet cunt.  

“Oh god,” you mewl, scratching at his chest. 

He spanks your clit with his fat cock. 

“What did I say about taking the Lord’s name in vain?”

Your pupils swallow any color left in your eyes, “‘m sorry, daddy. I don’t mean to be bad.”

“Fuck,” he growls, slapping your cunt with his cock over and over to make your hips jump, “are you misbehaving on purpose?”

Head shaking no, you wrap your legs around his waist, “No, I didn’t mean— it just slipped out. I‘m sorry, Father Kennedy.”

He nudges the tip of his cock into your hole, making you keen and rock down. The pressure around just the head makes him want to be rougher, meaner with you.

He grins smugly down at you, “You just can’t help it, can you? The wetter this pussy gets the dumber you are, right? What a slut.”

You whine, the heels of your bare feet digging into the back of his legs, goading him to slide deeper into your cunt. 

“Yes, I’m your slut, Father,” your hands tug on his rosary making him groan and fuck his dick into your spasming cunt. 

His heavy weight drops over your body, earning another low whine followed by your nails scoring a hot trail across his shoulders. He shudders, enjoying that small bite of pain as your eyes roll back in your head, pussy sucking him in even deeper somehow. 

“Pretty cunt just needed me buried balls deep in her, huh?” he groans as he pulls out just to sink back into your pussy, “so tight.”

“W-wait,” your voice goes high with sudden realization, “I thought p-priests were banned f-from having sex,” you gasp out, stuttering through Leon’s thrusts. 

“Baby,” he coos condescendingly, “you don’t think I was some silly little virgin, did you?”

He boxes you in even more, dropping down on his forearms that rest on each side of your head. 

“But I gotta say, you’ve got the best pussy I’ve ever fucked,” he kisses your mouth, “so wet,” he drops another kiss to your lips, “and tight,” and another kiss ending with a rough bite of your bottom lip, “this kitty’s been purring for my dick all night.”

Your head thrashes against the pillow at his words, “Yes, yes, fuck,” tears drip from your lash line, “it’s so good, Father Kennedy.”

Molten heat rushes through his veins at your wanton face paired with that sweet voice. His teeth sink into that plush bottom lip, suckling on it until you tug your head back with a soft cry. It’s swollen and split from his teeth, a small bead of blood welling up only for him to lick it away with a groan.  

He licks into your mouth, mixing spit and blood until he’s sucking your tongue past his own greedy lips. His cock slowly ruts in and out of your clenching hole as he kisses you breathless. Your fingers tangle in his rosary, tugging him back to your mouth every time he goes to pull away. 

Leon lets himself go; stops trying to control himself and settles into fucking into your warm, wet cunt with harsh skin slapping thrusts. He bites anywhere his mouth can reach, leaving dark bruises or even outright bloody teeth marks behind. His dark eyes keep track of your pleasure as well; if you wince, he makes sure to lathe his tongue across a bite instead of sinking his teeth into you again or fucks his cock shallowly into your pussy instead of knocking against your cervix how he likes. 

You reward him with pretty little cries and pleads against his lips; your doughy thighs clasped tightly around his waist as you beg for him to ruin your cunt. He wrings orgasm after orgasm until your body’s spent and you're babbling incoherently. 

He keeps you underneath him all night, trading blood tinged kisses as his cock stuffs your squelching pussy. Sunlight begins to stream through the snow tinted windows when he finally manhandles your body to straddle over him once again. 

Leon feels like this must truly be what heaven is like. You, seated in his lap as he buries his cock to the hilt in your hot little cunt watching as you grind down against him. Fat dimples between his fingers as he grips your ass tightly, helping you keep rhythm as he bounces you up and down his dick. 

“Oh Father Kennedy,” you whimper, “I can’t, I can’t—“

“Yes, you can,” he murmurs, easing your harsh grind into a slow back and forth, “you can give me one more so I can feel that pussy squeeze me so I can put a nice thick load in her.”

His fingers slowly circle and pinch your pudgy clit, letting you rock against him a little faster. 

“Oh, I’m-I’m g’nna,” you hiccup a sob, tears dripping from your eyes as he works your exhausted body towards another orgasm. 

“Call me, Leon,” he smiles at you, the first genuine one he’s actually offered to anyone in quite a long time, “now cum for me, squeeze me nice and tight.”

“Leon, Leon, I-I’m cumming,” you gasp out, a mewling cry slipping past your swollen lips as your pussy milks Leon’s cock for the upteenth time since this all started. 

“Good girl, so good for me,” he groans, letting your climax coax his own from him, grabbing your hips to hold you snug to him. 

He growls up at you, cock jumping inside your spasming pussy as rope after rope of sticky cum spurts inside your fluttering walls. 

 “Leon, oh, it’s so warm,” you whimper, one hand settling on your belly and the other resting on Leon’s heaving chest. 

“Fuck,” he yanks you down into a messy, spit filled kiss.

You whine and he softens it, titling his mouth up to press softer kisses to your lips until pulling away. Easing down next to him, you snuggle into his side, burying your face in his neck. 

“So am I forgiven now?” you tease, fingers tracing over the beads of his rosary. 

“Might need to spend some time with me in the confessional,” he presses a kiss to your hair, “just to make sure it takes.” 

[unhauntng]

do you guys ever think about how kristen was raised to die? she was told her whole life that nothing she did would have any consequence for herself because she was meant to go to heaven. helio had already ordained it. it was Going to happen no matter what. in the whole scheme of her life, nothing about kristen herself mattered.

but she was still told she had to be good and follow helio. she still had this need to try. so, it became about the church and the other members in elmville and helping pastor amelia. it became about what she could do for others.

do you ever think about how kristen did what she was supposed to do? she died. several times, three if we count the trip to heaven at prom even though ally stabilised with their rolls. she did what she was born to do.

and yet. here she still is. and maybe that kristen, who was supposed to die is dead and gone now. maybe she’s been made anew. but do you think kristen knows that. do you think kristen understands her life has meaning outside of her death. do you think kristen knows that it has meaning outside of what she can do to get others into a good afterlife.

do you think kristen believes she really is anything except a lamb and a symbol?

[actualmermaid]

Today is All Saints Day, and I'm observing it in a somewhat unconventional manner: cyberbullying the Anglican Church in North America

The ACNA, if you're not familiar, is a group that splintered off from the Episcopal Church in 2009. The reason for the schism was that they believed TEC had "gone astray" by ordaining women priests and affirming LGBTQ people, so a bunch of conservative Episcopalians and clergy split off into their own group: the ACNA. They claim to be "continuing" Anglicans, representing the "real" Anglican tradition in the US and Canada.

The reason I'm cyberbullying them on All Saints Day is because they are conspicuously missing a lovely, pious, respectable, and orthodox Anglican saint: Saint Aelred of Rievaulx (1110-1167 CE)

St. Aelred was a monk, abbot, historian, and spiritual writer from Northumbria. During his lifetime, the abbey boasted hundreds of monks and lay brothers, because Aelred was known for his friendly and gentle demeanor, wise leadership, and healthy community. He had the ear of kings and bishops all over northern Europe. He preached charity, humility, chastity, and all kinds of other Christian virtues. In short, he was the very model of a respectable medieval churchman.

He was also Very Much In Love With Men, and he wrote a treatise called "Spiritual Friendship," which might be nicknamed "How To Be In Love With Men In A God-Honoring Way." I've read it. It's wonderful and timeless and also very, very gay. He was in love with men. In a gay way.

Fast forward to the year 1980. Up until this point, St. Aelred had been a somewhat obscure local English saint. And then a groundbreaking new book was published which challenged all conventional narratives surrounding the Church and queer people in the Middle Ages: Christianity, Social Tolerance and Homosexuality by John Boswell. Boswell wrote at some length about Aelred and his love for men, drawing on his other work besides "Spiritual Friendship" and situating him into what was actually something of a "golden age" of gay culture in western Europe. Yes, really.

Fast forward again to the year 1985. At the Episcopal Church's general convention that year, members of Integrity USA (the original LGBTQ advocacy org in TEC) campaigned to have St. Aelred added to the calendar of saints. The House of Bishops agreed, and they added him to the church calendar with full knowledge that Aelred was gay.

Aelred was also physically disabled, and he wrote about his Spiritual Friend becoming "my hand, my eye, the staff of my old age": in other words, his Spiritual Friend was his caretaker as his health declined near the end of his life (which was still quite short even for a medieval person). He also describes the pain of his Spiritual Friend's early death in a way that remains tender 800 years later. I will leave you to imagine why that might be spiritually relevant to a bunch of nice church gays in 1985.

Fast forward again to 2009. The conservative wing of the Church has had enough of TEC's bleeding-heart liberal reforms, so they secede from the union leave and establish their own church without any icky queers or women priests. St. Aelred had been an official Episcopal saint for 25 years at that point, and the newly-formed ACNA had to consciously, deliberately choose to remove him from their calendar of saints.

Fast forward again to earlier this summer. I start doing research into queer Christian history and queer saints. I realize that Aelred is conspicuously missing from the ACNA's calendar, so I look into the background and decide to get obnoxious about it on Instagram. Because this is VERY embarrassing for a church that claims to be the "real" Anglican Church in North America.

A selection of memes for your enjoyment:

[her-satanic-wiles]

October 19th

Uniform, Phantom x Cardinal Reader

Masterlist ⛧ The Cardinal Masterlist

Words: 6.3k

Warnings: Uniform; sub!Phantom; Cardinal!Reader; dom!Reader; male masturbation; brat!Phantom; power play; abuse of power; praise kink; degradation kink; cock stepping; heel kink; begging; edging; ruined orgasm; worship; hand job; unprotected sex; piv sex; dacrophilia; cunnilingus; cum eating; marking/hickeys; this basically feels like torture porn; I was in a man-eating mood and Phantom was the victim, I would apologise but I enjoyed this too much;

Taglist: @sodoswitchimage @enchantedbunny @bitchywitchygardener @thew0man @sodomiser @the-did-i-ask @copias-sewer-rat @gehrmansbignaturals @deetz-ghuleh @onlyhereforghost

This is another favourite... I had so much fun writing this.

🔞 MDNI 🔞

You had always been a dedicated and hardworking member of the Satanic Church, from the time you arrived in your early teens to now. For years, you had toiled tirelessly, demonstrating your commitment to your job and your faith. And though some days it felt like it did, your efforts had not gone unnoticed, and upon the ascension of the previous Cardinal Copia to Papacy, you too, were lifted from your previous life and placed in a position of higher standing. They were, of course, in need of a new Cardinal now that Copia was no longer filling the position.

Your robes were majestic to say the least - designed specifically to you: your body, your youth, the image you wanted to portray when wearing the uniform. The only non-negotiables were: it had to be black or red, you must wear the Grucifix at all times, you had to wear a zucchetto, and you had to adorn the traditional Cardinal make up when in public. The cut of your robes and everything else to do with it was down to your tastes and preferences. You chose something that made you feel like you wielded the power you were given.

Your robes were split into two parts and made of a beautiful, rich, red, satin material combined with accents of white lace in three places: the bottom of the sleeves, the tip of the bodice, and the top of the neck. The dress itself was designed in a fishtail style, with thick straps at the shoulders to keep everything in place - and the bodice being boned and laced like a corset to keep you secured inside. Those straps were hidden underneath a bolero made of matching material, with added drama.

The sleeves were bell-style, with extra material to give a lap-over effect at the elbows. The sleeves’ openings were long enough to reach your knees when you had clasped your hands together at your waist and were pointed at the end. Your forearms, however, were encased in a beautiful white lace that was clasped together with the red satin making it an optional feature. Square shoulders gave you a more formal look, while the bolero’s collar added an extra layer of extravagance. It was in a turtleneck shape with white lace at the top and an ascot-like finish at the bottom, which could be clasped into the bodice of your dress as it reached that far down. When the collar was in its correct place, the red front resembled the Gothic archways of the Ministry’s architecture, while the sharp, pointed features made you look much more intimidating than you anticipated, but very much enjoyed.

The whole ensemble was bookended by a red zuchetto (Copia’s zuchetto which he gifted to you along with the Grucifix you wore upon your ascension) and a pair of Cesare Paciotti dagger heels that you asked a dear Sibling over in the tailoring wing to recreate for you given that you couldn’t afford genuine ones.

As is customary for a Cardinal, you were given two new members of your team - an assistant (a newly ordained Sibling of Sin), and a Ghoul in training. Your Ghoul wouldn’t be a permanent fixture, sadly, given that when Papa needed a new one he would graduate them from their training and take them from a Cardinal now that they were completely experienced. After putting in a special request, you’d asked for your dear friend, Phantom, to work alongside you, knowing that you’d be much happier with him by your side for as long as possible.

When he saw you for the first time, his jaw dropped. His eyes widened beneath his silver metallic, Venetian-inspired trainee mask. Because the trainee mask arched at the base, the tip of his nose and his mouth were completely exposed to you, though painted black, allowing you to see his full reaction. He had arrived at the tailor’s wing to come and escort you to your new office, and was in awe of what he was seeing.

“What do you think?” You asked him pulling at your dress a little like a teenage girl showing her date her prom dress for the first time. Your two-toned lips were curved upwards into a little smile, evidently enthralled at your new uniform and the magic the tailor Sibling had conjured with their own two hands.

“You look incredible, Sister!” Phantom said quickly, a little too loud for even his own liking.

You stood up straight and clasped your hands together at your stomach. You lifted your chin proudly and said, “I’m not sister anymore, Ghoul. I’m Cardinal now, and you shall address me as such.” Your smile was now playful and mischievous, and you were putting on more airs and graces than you usually would just because it was fun. It was fun to remind him of your new title, it was fun to hear people refer to you as Cardinal now.

Phantom gave a nod and a nervous gulp before reciprocating your smile, clearly somewhere deep inside his own head. Once he had grounded himself, he gave you a deep bow, like a commoner would to a princess, playing along with your little game. “My apologies, Cardinal. As your Ghoul, I am to escort you to your new office and chambers.”

You nodded. “Very good, Ghoul. Lead on.”

He stood and opened the door to the tailor’s shop for you to step out and lingered behind you as you walked down the corridors towards the Cardinal’s wing. Usually Phantom would walk beside you, given that you both were friends, but even as Cardinal and Ghoul, he would still be beside you as an equal. Despite the Ministry having a clear heirarchy, none were treated as lesser than. Papa and his Ghouls and assistants walked side-by-side as did everyone else. It was strange walking in silence down a long corridor with your best friend and not have him beside you.

You turned your head to look over your shoulder to see what the matter was. Phantom was, indeed, still behind you. He was now carrying a suitcase full of your extra uniforms, but instead of looking ahead of him, he was looking at you, focussing extra hard on you. You had seen enough men do that to know exactly what it was he was looking at. His eyes were laser focussed on your backside. The cut of the dress meant that all of your lumps, bumps and curves were accentuated flawlessly, certainly giving you a sexier appearance than your old Sibling habit did, and though you felt good and looked good in it, nothing compared to your new Cardinal robes. And apparently, Phantom agreed.

He’d never looked at you before like he was looking at you now. He’d never been in total awe of your overall appearance, or even been speechless in your presence. And he’d certainly never purposefully hung back to walk behind you so he could perv on you. He’d seen your body numerous times before, given that this is the Satanic church that enjoys a good orgy here and there that you both have partaken in. Hell, he’d even been inside you once or twice before. But the way he was looking at you now was different. Like he was seeing you, truly seeing you for the first time.

“How are you supposed to guide me to my new rooms when you’re behind me, Phantom?”

His eyes sharply rose from your backside to your face, and a flicker of shame darted in them. It was barely there, but you caught it. “Right, shit! Sorry!” He ran to catch up with you, and from there on out made sure he was only one step ahead.

The coming weeks were nightmarish for Phantom, truly. You were simply regal in your new uniform, and it had affected your personality too. You were never not confident, but the Cardinal robes had amplified what you already had to now you being damn near untouchable. He noticed that people would move out of the way for you when you walked down the endless Ministry hallways, with him and your Sibling assistant trailing behind you. When you walked into the room, conversations would dwindle and all eyes would be on you. People didn’t fear you quite as much as they were a little intimidated by you, but you were just simply impressive. And the confidence you exuded made you ten times more attractive than you ever had been.

You were also no stranger and no enemy to giving orders and jobs to people when they needed it. Organising events, overseeing renovations, initiating newcomers - whatever your schedule looked like you were on it and had no qualms taking charge, and doing so in your Cardinal robes? Phantom could barely cope. He would set himself on fire if you were cold and he’d thank you for it. He’d worship the ground you walked on like you were Lucifer himself if given half the chance. And the things he thought about when he was alone in his room? When darkness cloaked him and all he could think about was sinning with you, being defiled by you. He would submit to you willingly; do anything you asked him to with a “yes, Cardinal” and “right away, Cardinal”, “anything for you, Cardinal”.

With his hand around his cock, he thought about what it would be like to grip onto your hips with you straddling his lap. He thought about burying his face in your cleavage and kissing at the exposed flesh below the red, Gothic arches you wore. He envisioned you hiking up that dress so you could straddle his face and he could pleasure you, the way his makeup would be stained and smeared all over your thighs and pussy. How your juices would gather in the engravings on his mask while he held you down on his face and worshipped you as you deserved. Or even how your breasts would bounce under the bodice of your dress as he railed you, as he speared you on his cock and fucked into you relentlessly. He remembered how good your cries were the last time he fucked you - and he hated himself for not savouring the feeling of your tight heat wrapped around his aching cock. Every night after work, he would throw himself onto his bed and stroke himself to orgasm. Orgasm after orgasm until it got to the point he was surprised he had anything left to give. He wanted you so fucking badly, but he had no idea if he was even allowed to have you anymore.

Every day you would do something, or act in a certain way that made life a little more difficult for him. And the worst part about all of it was you didn’t even know - because in reality, you weren’t doing anything wrong. He was just becoming so painfully attracted to you that it was hurting him, and he didn’t know what to do.

You started noticing the little slip ups three weeks into your job. The way the small things would always go wrong, the way he’d relay the wrong messages to people, the way he’d do something and not do it correctly. But you realised something needed to be done about it when one of Papa’s Ghouls, Swiss, came to you with a very angry note from Papa letting you know that Phantom had colossally fucked up, and he’d relayed the wrong message and because of that the Ministry’s power was down for an hour while the maintenance guys tried to find the problem that didn’t actually exist. Papa couldn’t rehearse with his Ghouls which meant he was even more stressed about the upcoming tour.

You found Phantom in the kitchens nursing a tub of Häagen-Dazs strawberry ice cream and the rest of the kitchen staff moving around him frustratedly while they were trying to prepare for the dinner rush.

“Good evening, Cardinal ___.”

The rest of the Siblings echoed the greeting and you responded with a polite bow of your head. That was when Phantom looked up at you and sighed. He grabbed the tub and went to stand, making an attempt to run away, but you were too fast and stopped him from disappearing. “Please just let me wallow.” He said, his voice filled with irritation.

“No. We’re going to talk about this and we’re going to figure out a solution.”

“I don’t want to.”

“I don’t care. We have to.”

“Um, Cardinal,” your attention was drawn to a middle-aged Sibling who was looking more and more exasperated by the second, “with all due respect we need this space to be free for the staff.”

“Of course, we’re just leaving. Thank you for being patient.”

The walk back to your office was long and silent; incredibly awkward. Phantom was trudging along behind you, still very clearly troubled and in fact, now he was much more anxious. Reaching your office was no better either, because trying to get the problem out of him was like trying to squeeze blood from a stone. He sat there in silence for a while, as if you were a cop trying to get information out of him. There was a brief moment when you thought he’d ask to call his lawyer.

“Phantom,” you pleaded for what felt like the eighteenth time, “I can’t help you unless you tell me what the problem is.”

“What if I don’t want help?” He said, petulantly.

“That’s tough shit, unfortunately. You caused a big stink today. You’re going to have help whether you like it or not. Please tell me what’s wrong.”

“No.”

“Phantom.” Your voice became deep and warning. It made him falter, but he didn’t budge.

“No!”

“Satan’s taint, Phantom! The way you’re acting I have half a mind to take you over my knee and spank you until you behave yourself.” His eyes widened and his Adam’s apple bobbed. That caught your attention. “Unless you want that.”

“Of course I don’t.”

You stood up and walked to the other side of your desk, leaning against it. As Phantom was sat down still, you towered over him. As you walked, your dagger heels clunked on the wooden floor below you. The atmosphere had shifted, and what had become a friend trying to help another had quickly turned into a game of power where your closest friend was on the verge of submitting to you. “I think you do.”

“You’re wrong.” Phantom was always a little shit, that was why you loved having him around. The man was the very definition of cheeky - naughty but was so cute he could get away with it, especially with you. You’d had to reign him in before, but you didn’t realise this would be how you’d have to do it for the foreseeable future.

“You’ve been harbouring some feelings towards someone, haven’t you?” Phantom didn’t want to reply at first, which told you everything you needed to know. He continued looking at the ground and avoiding eye contact, and this just wouldn’t do. You placed your index finger and thumb on his chin and moved his head, forcing him to look at you. “Haven’t you?”

“Yes.”

You hummed. “That someone is me, yes?” He nodded but of course that wasn’t good enough for your ego. “Ah, ah. Use your words.”

“Yes.”

“Good boy.”

Phantom released a sharp breath at the praise, shaky with the nerves he was feeling.

“Tell me about it.”

“I can’t.”

“Yes you can, my little prince. Tell me everything and I’ll give you a reward.”

He began recounting everything to you, the words spilling out of him with no end in sight. He poured his entire brain on the floor for you to rifle through at your leisure, sparing none of the more intricate or delicate parts of his torment. He detailed how he touched himself at the thought of you, how he spilled onto his stomach at the very idea that you would give him a scrap of attention, and how the whole thing had been eating away at him. All the while, you maintained eye contact with him, jerking his head back towards you every time his shame made him look away. When he finished, he breathed a sigh of relief, though he was still just as nervous as he was when he started talking.

“Such a good boy for me. Obedience deserves a reward, doesn’t it. What shall it be?” Your eyes glanced down at his growing bulge. “Do you want me to touch you?”

There was no hesitation. “Yes, Cardinal.”

Your eyebrows raised in surprise. Cardinal? Oh. He conveniently left out your promotion in his story. That changed things a bit. Oh yes, this could be very fun. That same hand that was holding his head in place began moving downwards, across the clothed expanse of his chest, down passed his tummy, until eventually your fingers danced over his clothed (now very hard) cock. You didn’t immediately grab him, instead opting to just run light fingers over the material and watch his eyes turn from wanting to pleading.

“Although, you have been holding out on me for weeks. And Papa is very displeased. You’re my responsibility now. You got me into a lot of trouble with Papa.” You groped his whole cock now and released a low chuckle when he gasped.

“I’m s-sorry.”

“You will be.” You cut all physical contact with him and stepped back, leaning up against your desk again. “Kneel on the floor.” You told him.

He obeyed immediately, getting on his knees and looking up at you with wide, expectant eyes. But when you moved, he became distracted by it. You lifted your dress just enough for your heels and ankles to be revealed and raised your dominant foot to rest on his thick thigh. You let the toes of your pumps slide up his jeans towards his crotch, and watched as his breathing became heavier and heavier in anticipation for what was to come. At any point, he could have stopped you. Your previous sexual exploits have already established bedroom rules which allowed you both to just plough ahead and wait for the withdrawal of consent - which never came. What did come, however, was Phantom’s gasp when the red sole of your pump arrived at his cock, and applied just a little pressure. Enough to make his hands rush up to your bare calf and grip hold of the flesh. He let out a groan.

“Papa sent one of his very angry Ghouls earlier today to tell me about your fuck up.” You began. You moved your sole up and down a little, teasing him more as his mind became increasingly more and more blank. “I have to report to him later on this afternoon and tell him what happened and what I plan on doing with you. What do you think I should tell him? Should I tell him that my Ghoul was too horny to function? Should I tell him that my Ghoul is now dry humping my stilettos in desperation like a dog?”

Phantom didn’t even realise his hips were moving until you brought it up. His eyes had been shut tight at the feel of you, and how every so often, your heel would scrape against his clothed testicles.

You continued chastising him. “I should have recorded that for Papa to see. Show him what I’m dealing with.” You started rubbing his length in a rhythmic motion, mostly putting pressure on him and releasing it again.

Phantom let go of his inhibitions for just a second and allowed himself to enjoy the feeling, eyes closed and hips rocking against you, meeting your own movements perfectly. All the while, desperate whimpers were falling from his lips, strained little grunts that filled the room exquisitely. He couldn’t help himself. He couldn’t stop the noises that stumbled out of him. He knew he wasn’t supposed to be enjoying this; he knew that this was supposed to be his punishment. But it just felt so good. He couldn’t help himself.

“Are you enjoying this, my little prince?” You asked him, a condescending tone decorating your low voice, looking down at him desperately humping your heel. He truly looked pathetic.

“F-feels good.”

“Oh, does it? Is my needy little prince enjoying his punishment a little too much?”

“I’m sorry…” His voice was tight, like he was about to cry. “I’m sorry. I’m sorry. It feels so good. I’m sorry. I’m sorry I’m so needy. I’m sorry I’m enjoying this. I’m sorry!” Everything that tumbled from his lips happened in the span of one breath. His hand moved from your calf down to the top of your foot, pushing you down onto him so he could gain more pleasure from your body without permission.

“My once good boy is acting like a bit of a slut, huh?”

“I’m sorry! I’m sorry!”

“Let me hear you say it. What are you?”

“A slut! I’m a slut. I’m such a little slut.”

“Whose slut?”

“Your slut! I’m your slut. I’m a slut for my Cardinal. I’m gonna cum.”

“No, you’re not. Not without permission.”

“Can I cum, please?”

“No.”

“Please, please, please, Cardinal, please! I need to cum. I need to cum so badly. Please, Cardinal! I’m begging you, please let me cum, please!”

By the quickness of his hips you could tell that he was close. You hung on a little more before you pulled your foot away from him. His eyes widened in terror as the orgasm he was on the precipice of having began ebbing away from him, and fading back into nothingness being replaced by his painful hardness of his cock. “No!” He screamed. The noise itself was primal and full of devastation, like he’d just watched something he love get destroyed. This wasn’t the cool, calm and collected Phantom you knew. This wasn’t the mischievous little devil you had the pleasure of being friends with for all these years. This was a desperate, wounded animal on the floor begging for mercy.

You dropped your dress back onto the floor and began to walk away from him, your hand on the door handle. “I’ll go and tell Papa you’ve been adequately punished for your actions.” You had no intention of opening the door, but you did jiggle the handle to get his reaction.

He dove forward, landing on his stomach and resting his head on the floor, fully bowing to you like a worshipper would their deity. “Please forgive me! Please don’t leave me like this. Please let me cum! Please, I’m begging you. I’ll do anything, please! I’ll be a good boy, I promise!”

“Yeah? You’ll be a good boy?”

“Yes, Cardinal!”

“You’ll start listening to your Cardinal when she gives instructions?”

“Yes, Cardinal!”

“And you’ll start behaving yourself and you’ll come to your Cardinal when you have a problem?”

“Yes, Cardinal!”

You walked back to your desk and sat on it this time. “On your feet, precious boy.” Phantom stood immediately. You dragged your dress up over your knees, revealing your thighs to him and then eventually your panties. After shuffling around a little, you pulled them off revealing your slick-soaked cunt to his hungry eyes. He wanted to dive straight in, to lap up everything he could see, and he moved forward as if he were going to. But you placed your heel on his stomach and held him at a distance. “No. I have other plans.” You removed your foot again. “Strip. I want no item of clothing left on you��� except that mask.”

The mask stripped away his identity. He wasn’t even supposed to have a name, but he’d chose it for the other Ghouls to use. You planned on using him tonight, as he apparently wanted, and the mask would strip him of his humanity. Make him just a toy to play with and nothing more.

He fought with his clothes, his clouded brain struggling to perform the basic task he usually did daily. But eventually he stood there, completely naked, his cock red, swollen and painfully hard, standing fully to attention and waiting for your next touch. You beckoned him closer with your index finger and as soon as he was in reach, you spat on and then wrapped your hand around his cock and began to stroke.

You wanted to torture him a little more, dragging more pained whimpers out of him but there was something so delectable about the whimpers that came out of him when you overstimulated him. How when you stroked him and focussed on his sensitive head, he did everything he could to squirm out of your grasp, but failed every time. “Oh fuck!” He screamed, white knuckling the desk below you as your hand worked him. “Please, please, please. I’m so desperate.”

“You are?”

“Yes!”

“Oh poor baby. Just wants to cum doesn’t he?”

“Please! I’ll be good. I’ll be so good for you. Please.” Your hand tightened around the head of his cock. “Cardinal, it’s too much! It’s too much. Wait. Fuck! It’s way too sensitive. Please, please, please, please.” You watched his chest rise and fall erratically as he struggled to breathe through the stimulation. Drool had begun to form at the corner of his mouth the faster you moved. “N-not on the tip, please! Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck!”

Your brain decided to do something even crueller. You let go of him one more time but this time you spread your legs wider allowing him to get closer to your core. “Really!?” He asked, his eyes wide and ready to bury himself inside.

“Of course, baby boy.”

He lined himself up and entered you, but he moaned in despair when he felt your hands on his abdomen stopping him from burying himself in further. You only allowed his tip to enter you, and that was as far as he could go. “Cardinal, no! Please! Please don’t do this! Please let me go all the way in, please!”

“It’s this or nothing, my prince. What do you want?”

Weighing up his options he began shallowly thrusting into you, his eyes roaming over your entire body and taking in your collected appearance. He was a sweaty, red mess underneath his mask and paints. But you, not a single hair was out of place. Your robes were still pristine and perfect, no sweat staining the satin. He protested and complained but even if it was just the tip inside you, he still felt incredible. He watched as his movements barely made you blink.

You moved one of your hands up to play with one of his nipples, causing him to cry out and thrust a little further in than he intended. But this one little movement made him - “I’m gonna cum. I’m gonna cum! Can I please cum? Please, please, please, Cardinal, please! Please I’m begging you let me cum please.”

“Pull out.”

“No please! Please don’t make me.”

You reached round to the back of his head and pulled on his hair. “Pull out.”

Reluctantly he did as you asked and took the smallest step back, the head of his cock touching your clit still needing to be touched. You wrapped your hand around him again and began stroking, focussing on the tip again and earning a whine from him. “Thank you! Thank you!”

“I didn’t say you could cum yet.”

“Please can I cum? Please, please, please!” You could see his eyes were welling up with tears threatening to spill out at a moments notice.

“Aw, look at you. Whining and rutting into my hand like a pathetic little slut. Does the little slut need to cum, hm?”

“Yes!”

“Does he wanna cum so hard for his Cardinal?”

“Yes, Cardinal.”

“Cum for me.”

It didn’t take much more than that for him to thrust one more time to near completion. “Thank you! Thank you, Cardinal! This little slut’s cumming! I’m cumming for you. I’m cu- No!” Just as white began to spill out of him, you released him from your grip and held tightly onto both of his wrists, preventing him from stimulating himself as he came. The orgasm that was building to be one of the most powerful he’d had in a while was now nothing more than a tiny tingle while his cum oozed out of him and gathered on your bare cunt. Tears spilled out of his eyes finally after all the time he’d kept them contained for as long as he possibly could. You watched with evil delight as they ran down his filigree embossed mask, dripping down and around the engravings. He whimpered, both from the emotion and from the sensitivity of his dick.

His cum pooled on the desk below you as it oozed off your folds and slopped onto the wood. “You’ve got me all dirty now.” You told him. Your tone was just as condescending as it had been before, but this time exuded a hint of anger. Fake, of course, it was all just for show after all. But even so, you were having too much fun with this. “Be a good boy and clean it up.”

“Yes, Cardinal.”

You looked down your nose at him, observing as he dropped so his knees. His gentle, yet calloused hands gripped onto your knees and spread them apart to give him better access to his filth. His tongue darted out in anticipation of touching your folds and once your hands tangled in his hair and pushed him forward, he got the message, diving in immediately. His tongue gathered as much of himself off the desk as he possibly could, swallowing himself down as if it were some kind of drug before turning his attention to your waiting and dripping cunt. His black lips, though now some pink was peeking through from the amount of lip biting and sweating he’d done during this whole ordeal, suctioned against your clit and sucked, tongue coming to play as he worked to bring you to orgasm as quickly as you could.

Your back arched as he sucked particularly hard, making your hole clench around nothing desperately. His brown hair was becoming messier and messier the harder you tugged, keeping him there to stop him from ruining your own oncoming orgasm - because you knew that was something that had crossed his mind. He was a little shit after all.

“Is this making you feel better, hm?” You asked, head thrown back and voice strangled. “Knowing that you’re being useful today after everything you did?” You gripped hold of one of his hands with your free one and put it on your thigh, extending both of your legs so they rested on his shoulders. You dug your stiletto into his back just a little - enough to cause a pleasurable pain that had him grunting. “Answer me!”

His response was a simple grunt.

You watched his hips move, humping the air and begging to release more of the tension that had built in the time it took him to eat you out. His anguish was palpable enough to drive him to his animalistic preset. Humans don’t hump the air in search of pleasure, humans don’t whimper profusely into their meal, humans don’t allow themselves to be driven mad by arousal. He was still the wounded animal that was begging you earlier to make him cum. “Is the little slut hard again?”

Another grunt in confirmation.

“Well, if you do a good job and make your Cardinal cum, I’ll let you fuck me properly.”

He sucked on your cunt more fervently than before, his neediness for your approval, and by extension, your cunt urging him to work even harder to get you off. He needed your orgasm just as much as you did. The sadistic voice in your head was reeling at this, getting off on his patheticness and the little whimpers and noises he was making below you. The sound of his mouth and saliva working over your insanely wet core, not to mention the tiny moans. His fingers were grabbing onto your thigh tightly as he pressed his face deeper. You were sure he was struggling to breathe but it wouldn’t last long - you were driving head first into an earth-shattering orgasm within moments of announcing your intentions.

You kept him against you, riding his face and bucking your hips, using his tongue to finish. When your breath came back to you, you released him from your grip and sighed. “Come on then, little prince. A promise is a promise.”

He wasted no time, standing immediately and lining himself up but not pushing in. He looked at you, wide, teary eyes begging you silently to grant him permission to enter you again… this time fully. “Take your pleasure, sweetheart.”

He bottomed out right away, the pleasure overwhelming him instantly and manifesting in the sob of a broken man, now burying his face in the crook of your neck. “Th-thank you!” He grunted in between sobs and now needy thrusts as he took what he could from you, as quickly as he could, before you changed your mind and told him to stop. He didn’t know that this was it, that you’d let him cum inside you when he was ready, and this made him savour every feeling of his cock dragging against your salacious walls, every time his tip kissed your cervix roughly. “Thank you. Thank you! Thank you!”

“Does it feel good?”

“It feels so good, Cardinal. Thank you! You’re so tight. I can’t breathe. I - fuck!”

His mouth needed to do something as he let your cunt whip him into a frenzy. His lips began kissing every part of exposed flesh he could touch, the cold metal of his mask biting against your skin and adding a layer of pleasure to your sensitive spots. You felt him hone in one the exposed skin of your chest between the Gothic arches of your uniform, licking and sucking the spot there to help him expel some of that overwhelming emotion he was feeling, tears still falling from his eyes. One of his hands clutched onto your robes, holding you as tightly as he possibly could as if you were going to walk away from him and not let him cum. When he lifted his head to look at you, a string of saliva snapped from between your bodies and you saw the purple bruise he left behind… so very obvious to the rest of the Ministry what your most recent activity had been. You wanted to be mad at him, but the idea that everyone would know what you’d been up to had you tightening around his pistoning cock and pulling another groan from him.

“Cum- cumming! Oh fuck, oh fuck!”

“I got you, baby. Cum inside me. That’s it. That’s a good boy.”

He couldn’t wait for your permission. Both of his hands gripped your hips to desperately prevent you from wriggling away and he buried himself as deep as he could, hitting your cervix and completely emptying his load into you.

You continued your praise all while you hand came back to his hair and stroked him comfortingly. “So fucking good for me. Give me everything you have. There we go. Good job, baby boy.”

His toes curled, his fingers dug into your flesh, and he screamed at the sensation, that once powerful orgasm that was ruined now coming back threefold . His tears stopped for a mere moment while he fought to regain his breath, but once his orgasm subsided, he collapsed onto you, leaning against the desk and burying his head in your neck again. He wept, allowing himself to be vulnerable in this moment of overwhelm, and still clutching onto you. Sub-drop didn’t usually hit immediately, but it did with him, especially given the mood he was in before this all began.

You didn’t urge him to pull out, or move anywhere, instead you wrapped him up in your arms and let him cry as he needed to. “It’s okay, Phantom. I got you. You’re safe. I got you.”

“I’m s-sorry.”

You hushed him. “Listen to me, you have nothing to apologise for, okay? I should be the one saying sorry. I didn’t let you feel like you could come to me. I made you suffer for so long. Today included. I’m so sorry.” You reached up and undid the clasps around his head holding his mask in place, and softly removed it. He kept his face hidden for a while, not for anonymity or because it was expected of a Ghoul to completely hide their identity, but because he couldn’t bear to let you see his red, blotchy, tear-stained face - not right away at least.

When he had calmed down significantly, you felt him stand and let him, though you still kept your arms around him in a hug. You wiped the tears from his eyes, and peppered soft kisses around his face. “I’m sorry I got you in trouble with Papa.”

“You didn’t… well, you did but he’ll get over it. He was just lashing out at Swiss because he’s stressed, who then lashed out at me also because he’s stressed. In reality it had nothing to do with you.” For the first time, perhaps ever, you leaned forward and kissed his lips softly, trying to help him calm down. “Are you okay?”

He nodded.

“Promise me something: promise me you won’t keep anything bottled up anymore. Promise me that no matter how awkward it is, you’ll come and talk to me.”

He nodded again.

“No, baby, I need to hear you say it. Promise me.”

“I p-promise.” He said, tears beginning to fall again.

You held him in your arms for as long as he needed you, and spent the rest of the day comforting and loving him as much as he wanted. You made sure you cancelled any meetings to give him your attention, and kept him as top priority. This sweet, soft and sensitive boy eventually came back to life, turning into his insufferably cheeky self by the end of the day… except this time he was much clingier and hornier than before. Especially for you.

Kinktober: Previous Day ⛧ Next Day

The Cardinal:

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[freaky-wasatch-range]

hey, tumblrstake! I've seen several posts on here about how we wished mormons had more cultural traditions/holidays, so I want to share with y'all my family's memorial day tradition.

every year, about 300+ of my extended family gather in the podunk town of oak city, utah to take over the town hall for the weekend and then serve free breakfast to the town on monday morning. it's called the "edward partridge memorial day breakfast" or 'MDB" for short.

edward partridge immigrated to the U.S. from great britain and was the first ordained bishop of the church. he is my great-great-great-great-great grandfather. edward partridge's grandson, aesel lyman, started the breakfast, declaring that the tradition would continue until edward partridge came and got breakfast himself. today marked the 52nd annual MDB, and this year, we fed 1069 people.

the customary breakfast is: sourdough pancakes (they're really freaking good and the batter is hand-stirred by an army of little kids), fried eggs, fried ham, oak city milk, and an orange juice called Tang. that same army of little kids get the honor of "running" food from the griddles in the town hall's back courtyard to the gym where we serve the breakfast, and of course most of the adults are given a job to do as well (cooking, serving, hospitality, utensil rolling, the most recent newlyweds get to rinse the empty batter buckets with a hose... you get the gist). members of the fam bring their plates straight to the griddles when we want to eat. we all wear special aprons. the atmosphere is always kind of electric :)

the night before, we have a thing called "the program" where we watch the same grandparent-originated skits and sing the same favorites-of-our-grandparents songs that we've been performing for decades.

some other traditions that have endured at the mdb: games of P-I-G (kind of like H-O-R-S-E), a couple hundred people playing bunco at the same time, blasting louis armstrong during the breakfast, a baseball game for the kids, red velvet cake, older kids teaching younger kids to throw mountains of playground-gravel down the slides (I was little when that started and it's been going on for over a decade now lol), and, of course, visiting the oak city cemetery and telling stories about our grandparents.

I'm really blessed that on memorial day I get to spiritually honor my five generations of grandparents buried in oak city instead of just making vague allusions of thanks to the military industrial complex. most white americans have been completely isolated from any kind of ancestral culture/specific traditions (because that's what racist assimilationism demands), so I find our weird and sometimes difficult annual reunion to be really special. whatever this is is mormon culture to me.

so, idk, hopefully this was inspiring and gave you a new way to think about memorial day. I hope that wherever I am in the world, I can continue this tradition with the friends and family I have around, serve a community with free food, and do it in honor of some modern pioneers and martyrs.

here's some photos of my dinosaur, jared, wearing my keffiyeh and hanging out in oak city over the weekend:

[saintmachina]

One million dollar question: is it true that the Bible condems homosexuality? I had a discussion with two conservatives who sent me some verses that seem to confirm that but i don't know much about the context although i know this is important too

Let’s start here: why is this the million dollar question? Why does it matter what the Bible has to say about sex, or love, or human relationships? At the end of the day, it’s just a book, right?

Oceans of ink (and blood) have been spilled over not only what the Bible says, but what it does, how it functions. The course of empires, nations, and families have been shaped by the contents of this book, and from a historical and cultural perspective, it holds a lot of weight. But you didn’t ask about the sociological, you asked about the theological, so let’s explore. 

Different Christian traditions vary in their approach to scripture. For example: some Protestant denominations believe that the Bible is inspired, inerrant, and infallible. In this paradigm, God is the ultimate author of scripture working through human hands, and the resulting text is both without error and in no way deceptive or mistaken. Similarly, The Second Vatican Council decreed that “the books of Scripture must be acknowledged as teaching solidly, faithfully and without error that truth which God wanted put into sacred writings for the sake of salvation.” When a member of the clergy is ordained into the Episcopal Church they swear that they “do believe the Holy Scriptures of the Old and New Testaments to be the Word of God, and to contain all things necessary to salvation.”

Can you see how many of these points of doctrine overlap yet seek to distinguish themselves from one another? Theologians have spent lifetimes arguing over definitions, and even when they manage to settle on solid teachings, the way that the teaching is interpreted by the clergy and incorporated into the lives of the laity varies WIDELY. As much as systematic theology may try, humans aren’t systematic beings. We’re highly contextual: we only exist in relation to others, to history, to circumstance, and to the divine. We simply cannot call up God to confirm church teaching, and I think a lot of people cling excessively to the Bible as a result of the ache (dare I even say trauma) of being separated from God via space and time in the way we currently are.

God is here, but God is not here. God is within us, God is within the beloved, God is within the sea and sky and land, and yet we cannot grasp God to our bodies in the way we long to. In this earthly lifetime, we are forever enmeshed in God, yet forever distinct, and that is our great joy and our great tragedy.

So barring a direct spiritual experience or the actual second coming, we're left to sort through these things ourselves. And because humans are flawed, our interpretations will always be flawed. Even with the presence of the Holy Spirit in our lives guiding us.

When engaging with any sort of Biblical debate, it is essential that you have a strong understanding of what the Bible means to you, an an embodied individual living a brief little awful and wonderful life on Earth. Otherwise it's easy to get pushed around by other people’s convincing-sounding arguments and sound bites.

Here’s where I show my hand. As a confirmed Episcopalian I believe that reason, tradition, and scripture form the “three-legged stool” upon which the church stands, interdependent and interrelational to each other, but I’ve also like, lived a life outside of books. I’ve met God in grimy alleyways and frigid ocean waters and in bed with my lovers. So my stool is actually four-legged, because I think it’s essential to incorporate one’s personal experience of God into the mix as well. (I did not invent this: it’s called the Wesleyan quadrilateral, but the official Wesleyan quadrilateral insists that scripture must trump all other legs of the table in the case of a conflict which...*cynical noises*)

Please do not interpret this answer as me doing a hand-wavey "it's all vibes, man, we're all equally right and equally wrong", but I do absolutely think we have a responsibility as creatures to weigh the suffering and/or flourishing of our fellow creatures against teachings handed down through oral tradition, schisms, imperial takeover of faith, and translation and mistranslation. Do I believe the Bible is sacred, supernatural even, and that it contains all things necessary to find one's way to God, if that is the way God chooses to manifest to an individual in a given lifetime? Absolutely. Do I believe it is a priceless work of art and human achievement that captures ancient truths and the hopes of a people (as well as a record of their atrocities) through symbols, stories, and signs? Unto my death, I do.

However, I am wary of making an object of human creation, God-breathed though it may be, into an idol, and trapping God in its pages like God is some sort of exotic bug we can pin down with a sewing needle.

Finally, we have reached the homosexuality debate. One of my favorite sayings of Jesus is Matthew 5: 15-17: "Beware of false prophets, who come to you in sheep's clothing but inwardly are ravenous wolves. You will know them by their fruits. Are grapes gathered from thorns, or figs from thistles? In the same way, every good tree bears good fruit, but the bad tree bears bad fruit." In other words: look at what religious teachings have wrought in the world. When I look at homophobic interpretations of the Bible, I see destruction, abuse, suffering, neglect, alienation, spiritual decay, and death. When I look at theology that affirms the holiness of LGBTQ+ relationships, I see joy, laughter, community building, thoughtful care, blooming families, creativity, resilience, and compassion. I see the love of Christ at work in the world. I see the hands of a God who chose under no duress to take up residence in a human body, to drink wine with tax collectors and break bread with sex workers and carry urchin children around on his shoulders. That's my limited little pet interpretation, but hey, that's all any of us really have, at the end of the day.

So, I am absolutely happy to do a play-by-play breakdown of why those passages you were given (we queer Christians often call them "clobber passages" or "texts of terror") don't hold water in a theological, historical, and cultural context. We can talk about Jesus blessing the eunuch and the institution of Greek pederasty and Levitical purity laws and Paul because I've done that reading. I've spent my nights crying in self-hatred and leafing through doctrine books and arguing with my pastors and writing long grad school essays on the subjects. Send me the verses, if you can remember them, and I'll take a look. But it's worth noting that out of the entire Bible, I believe there are only six that explicitly condemn homosexuality AND I'm being generous and including Sodom and Gommorah here, which is a willful and ignorant misreading if I've ever seen one.

In the meantime, I recommend books by people smarter than me! Try Outside The Lines: How Embracing Queerness Will Transform Your Faith by Mihee Kim-Kort, or Does Jesus Really Love Me by Jeff Chu, or Transforming: The Bible and the Lives of Transgender Christians by Austen Hartke!

And take a breath, dear one. Breathe in God, in the droplets of water in the air and in the wind from the south. Breathe in the gift of life, and know that you are loved, now and unto the end of the age and even beyond then.

[foone]

(screenshotted to avoid spamming their post with my OC/setting)

See, that's why you gotta watch out for chronomancers and other artificers in Union, because their weapon of choice is usually also a gun. And then you don't have a weapon advantage, and they've got arcane powers on their side. So you might have a very shiny ar-15 or something, but they've got a pistol that doesn't run out of ammo and can't miss and will do far worse things than poke holes in you if it hits you. As I've said before, when a wizard pulls the trigger on a gun pointed at you, you pray that it hurts, because the alternative is so much worse.

Anyway "the speed of latin" being associated with magic is funny, because on Union they actually have latin, not any kind of dog latin a la that one boy wizard made by the transphobe. (Such a silly idea anyway. You can't be a wizard without being trans. I don't care if you were AMAB and still use he/him and dress masculinely, you're trans, as your gender is now wizard. Your chromosomes aren't XY or XX anymore, they're W. For Wizard). The Silent Mother, the matriarch of their main religion, came from Earth, and her native language was Latin (or as they call it in Union, Old Tower). But the really funny thing is that you would never speak it. You can't, really. They don't have any idea of how it's spoken, there's no pronunciation rules. It's solely a written language used by the Tower church, and it's not supposed to be read aloud... and you'd have to try pretty hard to figure out how to speak it at all, given the lack of pronunciation rules.

It'd also be deeply, deeply blasphemous. And not in some cool "you could use this to summon the devil!" way, in a "this makes no sense and just offends every believer who hears you trying to do it" way. (They don't believe in a devil or a hell anyway, so that also makes no sense)

They do have a Tower sign language, which you could argue is kinda like "speaking Latin", but signed languages aren't really directly connected to spoken languages. The grammar is different. For example, compare how there's British Sign Language and American Sign Language, which aren't mutually intelligible despite both being sign languages used in places that have English as their primary spoken language.

Tower sign language is mainly known by d/Deaf people in Union and ordained members of the Tower church, not wizards (not that there aren't d/Deaf wizards, of course). It's importable because at the highest (no pun intended) levels of the Tower church, you literally can't speak. Not "aren't allowed" or "shouldn't", but can't, similar to how the City of Towers is a city of women, and that's not prescriptive but descriptive (which is not also not a pun, even if it might seem like one since I'm talking about linguistics).

Anyway yeah. Old Tower/Latin is a religious language in Union, not a magical one. Magic stuff is usually done with Unity (that's the language, not the video game engine), dwarven runic, or one of the sky languages. The church uses magic, sure, but they do it by working with outside magicians, not doing their own magical stuff. Religion and Magic are separate domains in Union, and both of them prefer it to stay that way.

[blissfulip]

—Legion

On AO3

Priest!Viktor x F!demon!reader

Rating: Explicit

Tags: Priest Kink, Blasphemy, Self-Harm, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Self-Flagellation, Demon Sex, Demon Summoning, Demon/Human Relationships, demon reader, AU - Canon Divergence, Post medieval era, Dubious Science, Church Sex, Roman Catholicism, Catholic Guilt, Improper Use of Catholic Rituals, Shameless Smut, Masturbation

Cw: blood, self flagellation, masturbation

Words: 1.7k

[A/N: extremely blasphemous, but again, you saw the tags. Please read at your own risk! (also, let me know if you want to be tagged or removed in future fic updates!)]

Tags: @ihopeinevergetsoberr @chemical-killjoy @jinxed-jk @bobobomao @queen-of-elves @thedustybunny @syren201 @thayfass @thehistoriangirl @hypocritic-trash-baby

Playlist made by my baby Soln <3 @ihopeinevergetsoberr

Next

I.

Extra ecclesiam nulla salus. 

 There is a certain comfort in fear. When you see what awaits you at the gaping, harrowing mouth of hell, knowledge of the place you must avoid, ultimately, is power. There was a time when Viktor pitied those who did not know—those who lived despondent lives, unaware and unafraid of damnation. Recently, he had found himself wishing he knew less. 

 A ravening beast with a thousand bloody teeth, inside its mouth a cauldron, and in it the souls of the accursed with sin, boiling over scorching flames as legions of fiendish demons dragged in multitudes more. This image plagued Viktor’s mind without rest, be it vividly in his dreams, in the colossal fresco at the entrance of his local cathedral, or in the comical props onstage at the theater plays. 

 The parish clergy that had taken him in as a kid had made the mistake of noticing his outstanding intelligence and awarding him time to dedicate to studying philosophy, a privilege that many of the choir monks and lay brothers did not receive. In university, philosophy had turned into physics, and soon that turned into astronomy, which he had to keep a secret on account of the recent prohibitions put in place by Paul V’s Inquisition over the study of Copernican theories. 

 After he was ordained and returned to his home cathedral, this once silent yet innocent interest had turned into complete secrecy, and the fear of God that had once given him solace now tormented him. At times he considered giving up on his work; the mechanical objections of Copernican theory should not be of this much significance to him after all; there had to be something of value in what Thomas Aquinas had to say, and perhaps Agustine of Hippo had some good points. Nevertheless, it was the night sky that called to him, and even this far from it, he could not escape. 

 But outside the church there is no salvation , and Viktor knew that even if he was never to be condemned as a heretic in life, what awaited him in death was a flaming tomb at Epicure's side. Quod extra ecclesiam nulla salus. 

---------------------------------------------------

His parish was a pious one, but Viktor would refuse to receive lithe from the members of his church. The first time he tried this, the bishop was immediately alerted, and he was secluded to live in the small room inside the chapel as a ‘punishment’ for his impertinence. Viktor did not mind; the lands he had been previously allotted were too much to care for on his own, with cleaning being especially hard once his leg would start tiring out, and the presence of the personnel of lay brothers that would follow him around made his studies impossible; thus, the contained space of the church was comfortable to live in on his own.

 It had been a particularly cold morning. The week before, he had received word of the imminent visit of his diocesan bishop, and the impending possibility of his stay at any moment in the near future had tied his eyebrows into a permanent knot and his shoulders into a tense bundle of nerves since that morning. 

 To his dismay, the state of his works had made no decent progress, his journal being nothing more than a few numbers and three words on a painfully empty piece of parchment. He understood Latin; he had studied it at length in university, but when he took a break to read the Bible, the words on it floated around aimlessly, in a messy concoction of nothing. 

 “Per fidem enim ambulamus et non per speciem,” he repeated to himself in a whisper, and then closed the pages lethargically. 

 He read the cover of a white volume that had been lying on his desk for over a month now. He was sure he would have possibly agreed with what Foscarini had to say, so the feeling of dread he felt every time he laid eyes upon the title was mystifying to him. Though it made sense after some reflection, he was afraid. 

 When he read Copernicus, it felt distant, a world he was only a visitor in, but the Foscarini was a carmelite father, one of his own that was now nothing short of a persona non-grata in the eyes of the Roman Catholic Church. Viktor was afraid that what he had to say might make sense and that he might be so correct in his observations that this knowledge would drag him into the same status. 

 In retrospect, he should not have read it. 

 In fact, opening the cover was a big mistake on its own. Not even 3 pages in, the door of his room unceremoniously barged open, revealing the full figure of Father Isodore. Viktor and him never really got along; his time in the monastery as a kid was full of rule-breaking and inappropriate questions, and to Father Isidore’s dismay, insatiable curiosity remained Viktor’s fatal flaw well into his adulthood. 

 Not a single word was uttered as he carried his sunny disposition and rubicund complexion over to Viktor’s desk. There was no use in trying to hide what he was holding; Viktor carried the same guilty look on his face every time he did something he was not supposed to. Once a cute kid trying to hide some innocent misdeeds, his expression had grown into one of unadulterated shame and indignity in the wake of sin, and the bishop knew this all too well. The book was snatched off his hands aggressively.

“‘Epistle concerning the mobility of the earth’,” he read, “would be an interesting read if only as a piece of fiction, and perhaps in a different climate.”

“Your excellence, I eh—”

“Save it. Don’t worsen your sin by bearing false witness.”

Viktor looked down and sighed in resignation, a disappointed sadness creeping up in his throat.

“You are very much aware those texts have been forbidden, but since words seem to slide off you, I hope physical penance can remind you of your depravity,” Father Isidore said coldly as he handed Viktor the whip that usually served as no more than a piece of decoration adorning his wall. “Ten of them, and be intentional. One pater noster after each.”

“Yes, father.”

“It’s a shame; I have come to congratulate you on your work for the community. Repent. ” The emphasis on the last word punctuated his departure.

A cold feeling arose in Viktor’s stomach as he looked down at the whip, something akin to fear but also awfully comparable to excitement.

Three deep breaths are what he allowed himself; it would be better to get it over with as quickly as possible. He removed his vestments unhurriedly, only his bottoms remaining as he sluggishly kneeled by the bed, and the chilled air on his back was, in hindsight, not as bad as he thought at the moment. His hand trembled slightly when his grip on the whip tightened, and his jaw locked into a gritted grin as he sucked air in through his teeth.

The first flick of his arm was swift, like ripping away a bandage to make the pain go away as fast as your wrist could tug at it. It did not help; the feeling of the small metal beads digging into his skin was instantaneous, and it disappeared soon, but the burning that replaced it lingered.

“ Pater noster, qui es in cælis:sanctificetur nomen tuum; adveniat regnum tuum; fiat voluntas tua, sicut in cælo et in terra .”

A swarm of ants biting at the exposed skin on his back was a scorching fire.

“Panem nostrum quotidianum da nobis hodie,et dimitte nobis debita nostra, sicut et nos dimittimus debitoribus nostris; et ne nos inducas in tentationem; sed libera nos a malo.”

Then it subsided, and the slight chills on his arms were due to something else. He took his time with the second hit, languidly whipping both hands back this time to maintain the same level of strength. The aching this time was different; the burning of his skin was quenched by the few droplets of blood and sweat trickling down his spine. And there was something else—a burning feeling that was misplaced not on his back or wrists but in his lower stomach.

“Pater noster, qui es in cælis:sanctificetur nomen...” He started once again, both hands holding one another around the handle of the whip, closed in prayer as he shut his eyes tightly for concentration. This proved to be fruitless when an uncomfortable tightness in the fabric around his crotch distracted his attention away from the words he was reciting. He tried to continue with his prayer, but an ill-calculated movement tugged at the tender skin of his back, and the brief sting made the already confining feeling worsen, morphing into an odd mixture of ache and delight.

He figured out what this meant soon enough. The conflicting feeling did not originate from any sort of confusion about what he was experiencing; it came with the quandary of his two options: either keep going to conclude his penalty and follow orders, or go against those orders to avoid tainting this sacred act with his depravity.

He unlaced his trousers before going for the third whip. The aching feeling on his back was almost completely gone, replaced by a numb tingling along the wounded skin and an unbearable heat in his groin. The fourth hit was one-handed. Right hand wrapping tightly along the handle and left hand mirroring the grip around his cock as he pumped himself mechanically. When the metal hit the skin, a jolt of what felt like electricity traveled all the way down to his stomach, the member on his hand twitching in anticipation.

There was no fifth hit or anything beyond that. A final tug with a firm hand and gritted teeth culminated in his climax, hot viscosity percolating through his fingers as he rested his forehead on the edge of the bed. His chest heaved up and down as he whispered a string of prayers. Shame washed over him.

“Castigo corpus meum.” He repeated incessantly until he had enough strength in his legs to stand.

[eisforeidolon]

Jensen: What's up?

Jared: Good morning, Austin.

Jensen: Austin, Texas! C'mon!

Jared: Who lives here? That was loud. Who lives in Texas? Who doesn't? What's wrong with y'all?

Jensen: Well you guys picked the perfect month to come here 'cause it's -

Jared: Lovely outside.

Jensen: Just, just lovely.

Jared: Apologies for the weather, for sure.

Jensen: Yeah, yeah, next year we're gonna do January in Winnipeg, which is [makes a-okay sign] beautiful.

Jared: Sounds lovely.

Jensen: Well, we're missing [taps third microphone between them]

Jared: Somebody [also taps]

Jensen: Because I think he's still doing some photos, so he will be along shortly.

Audience member: Here he comes!

Jensen: What? What? Oh! Jeffrey Dean Morgan on the stage!

Jeff: [hugs Jared, hugs Jensen, waves to crowd]

Jared: The one that [?].

Jensen: 'Sup pop?

Jeff: Mornin'!

Jensen: Buddy, how you doin'?

Jeff: Since I last saw you, good. You?

Jensen: Good.

Jeff: Were you overseas?

Jensen: Yeah.

Jeff [to Jared]: Were you overseas?

Jared: I was not recently, but I was. But a month ago. A couple weeks ago, let's go with that. Yeah yeah yeah, not last year, 2005.

Jensen: I haven't been home since I saw you.

Jeff: Yeah, I haven't either.

Jensen: We were together in San Diego, the big ComicCon there.

Jeff: Or as I like to call it, the announcing of Jensen's nine million shows. That was cool. I went home that night, or back to the hotel or whatever and Norman - I was with Norman - and he was like, tell me about this Jensen. 'Cause he's got the world by the balls. And I'm like, I know. And he's like, is he married? I'm like, are you asking for yourself?

Jared: Did Norman want Jensen to have Norman by the balls as well?

Jeff: Yeah, I've never seen Norman, like, really jealous. And I gotta say - he just was - he wouldn't stop talking about ya. I had to pull out a picture of Danneel and say he's not available!

Jensen: I sat across from Norman at your wedding and we had a really lovely conversation and you know it was cool to get to - I mean, I'd met him before, but it was cool to sit and chat with him. But it was, you know, it was just that normal kind of banter and stuff but it -

Jeff: Well, and since then also he binged - I don't know if he ever watched Supernatural - but he binged The Boys. And I think that changed his whole thing, too. He's so star-struck by Jensen.

Jensen: Well, to be fair, I was a little star-struck at your wedding by him. Just 'cause I was, like, Boondock Saints is one of my favorite movies of all time. And so I was trying to just keep my cool in front of him, so that's, uh -

Jeff: Well, you did a good job. All around, all around you did a good job. Jensen also was, like, my preacher. He got a little rolling stone official piece of paper that said it was like, legal - I think? Am I really married?

Jensen: No, I got ordained and they actually sent me, like, a priest shirt with a collar. Like the [gestures at neck] - I didn't wear that. But yeah, no, you can get ordained online, it's the Church of Life or something in case any of you would like to become ordained?

Jared: Anybody wanna get married today? We got a guy.

Jensen: That's right, [holds up hand] I've got a certificate.

Jared [to audience member]: Do it, do it.

Jensen: No, that was a one and done for me.

Jared [still to audience]: Congratu- Well I got one, too! [gestures at wedding ring]

Jeff: He's married! [pointing at Jared]

Jared: So is she, she's got her [gestures at ring]

Jeff: Official [gestures at Jensen] - oh. If we were in Utah, I'd say go for it. [Jared grabs his shoulder]

Jensen: You're all invited to Norman and my's wedding.

Jeff: Can I get ordained for that?

Jensen: Yes.

Jared: 100%.

[thatsdemko]

tale as old as time - p.gasly

the art of attraction series — part one

masterlist

warnings: fluff

a/n: decided to provide the wedding scene!!! I have some other little fics working around the first part as well! xx

age 23 & 25

the proposal

he’s always known he was going to propose. it was when was the hardest part of the question to answer. folks back home both yours and his family always eagerly searching for a ring on your finger. he knows your antsy, seeing friends and extended family members get the beautiful diamond ring and begin to start families. you’d longed for that idea, but you’d wait for whenever Pierre found the timing to be right.

it was summer break when Pierre asked pascale leclerc and Lornezo, your eldest brother, for permission. with teary eyes, it was an easy yes from the two of them. he now only needed your answer.

—

you’re in your hotel bed. makeup removed and dessert from a local bakery sit mixed in the comforters of the bed, you two are snacking amongst yourself when he turns to you.

his eyes say every word he wants to say. with tears brimming the rims, your mouth curls into a smile knowing what’s next. he says he wants more nights like this, and says he can’t imagine anybody else he’d love more than you.

“y/n leclerc, will you marry me?”

“yes.”

age 25 & 27 (now)

the gasly’s.

Charles watches his best friend pace the floor of the tiny church room. he’s sure Arthur and Lorenzo have you safe from a nervous spiral, while Charles struggles to find words to calm his best friend before the best day of his life.

he knows these nerves aren’t bad thoughts. rather, excited for the future and the big celebration. months, years, of preparation went into this wedding. from the flowers all the way down to the shoes you both wore, all the details were planned out.

part of Pierre wants none of the traditions. he doesn’t care for the ministers approval and the shitty piano music his mother got teary eyed about.

“do you think you can get ordained as a minister?”

“like now?”

Pierre shoots Charles a pointed look, “why would I ask if it wasn’t for right now?”

Charles frantically pulls out his phone, nervous hands shaking as he types it in the safari. he becomes ordained in a matter of minutes and soon enough he’s pulling you out of your bridal party with Lorenzo and Arthur.

Pierre waits outside the church, your white dress coming into his vision like an angel or a cloud in the sky. with your hair pulled back, veil covering your face, and the white train trailing behind you, he felt tears slipping down his cheeks.

“Aw don’t cry or else I’ll cry and they spent hours on my makeup.” you wipe your thumb across his cheeks until they stop and Charles marries you two in the parking lot of the church. an hour earlier than the actual wedding.

“I should’ve married you along time ago.”

“I agree, it took you long enough to ask.”

—

the reception is in the summer home. the bedroom you first fell in love with him, is the place you two hide from greeting guests and faking smiles.

“I can’t believe we have to go down there again.” you groan throwing your body against his crisp clean suit.

“if you get tired of this, go up to the attic and I’ll come to you. I can hold off the family for you.” he presses a kiss to your forehead, two of you finally deciding to get up off the bed and make your way down the stairs. family and friends begin to holler and cheer seeing your arrival to your own party. Pierre kisses you once again, lips colliding like there wasn’t going to be another time for this. the hollers and whistles become background noise to the sound of his heart beat and how his fingers feel against the white silk material. you want to capture these emotions forever and put them in a bottle.

Pierre holds on to his promise, he chats with your family and his family while giving you time to eat and linger with friends. all sorts of people compliment your dress, the taste for the venue, etc. there’s not a single opinion you could care about while you sit and listen.

“I always pictured your wedding happening here.” Arthur says from beside you at the dinning room table. the two of you tucked away from the rest of the guests.

“really?”

he nods, “yeah, the flowers in the backyard are the ones you’ve always picked for Enzo, the sunset is visible from here, and this is where you fell in love. I was shocked when maman told me you picked a silly church.”

you laugh at your younger brothers words, but ultimately agree. you’d wished you didn’t settle on the old church and rather just get married in the backyard. you didn’t have many guests as it was, and Arthur was right, this place did hold a special spot in your heart.

“you should get married here then. the place belongs to Pierre now.”

Arthur laughs, “no I’m getting married in bora bora. churches are a yawn.”

you scoff giving his shoulder a shove, “wow where were you at the wedding planning meeting?”

“sleeping. I didn’t care to hear about bouquets and bridal showers.”

—

the early morning/late evening hours seems to slip by you both. you’re curled in bed, fingers intertwined when you hear Pierre shift in bed. his suit jacket was draped across your lap as a blanket, while his dress shirt was torn off somewhere across the room. you’d both been to exhausted for anything fun to happen that night, but from the looks of the room it’d say otherwise.

your eyes flutter open— well attempt with yesterdays mascara sticking them together— you look over at Pierre in his peaceful state. you’d, shockingly, never noticed the contrast color of his lashes to his blue eyes, how the hairs under his lip were getting a little thicker, or even the finest line across his forehead from stress. these were things that seemed to come with time, but beauty you loved so deep within your heart.

“I should make you breakfast, shouldnt I?”

his voice startles you from your thoughts, his hand reaches across the bed to your leg. the guarder you’d worn was torn off, and you proudly wear nothing but spandex and Pierre’s tie around your neck. somehow along the lines you’d lost your bra, but your dress still lays perfectly across the floor.

“don’t be ridiculous, let’s just order breakfast.” you shift closer to him and reach across for his phone on the charger. he takes the chance to kiss your cheek while you enter his passcode and scroll through the millions of breakfast places open.

“I don’t think I ever told you how beautiful you looked last night.”

you give him a pointed look, “and yesterdays makeup doesn’t still say beautiful?”

he laughs pressing a kiss to your shoulder blade, “amour, you’re beautiful everyday. just even extra yesterday.”

you feel the typical butterflies you get around him, but there’s even more than usual when you’re around him, you couldn’t pinpoint the feeling but it softened your heart and made you sink closer to him.

“what do you want from McDonald’s, mr. gasly?”

“whatever my wife wants.”

tags: @oconso @xcicix @imsorare @weasleyswizardwheezes-blog @monzabee @lpab @frreyaa @motorsp0rt @smoothopz @jaehyunluvcult @iloveyou3000morgan @lunnnix @leclerc13 @toalltheboyswhowastedmytime

want to be apart of my taglist? let me know here!

[nerdygaymormon]

My 10 year Tumblr anniversary

June 2024 marks 10 years since I started this blog!

I originally began this blog as a way for me to follow discussions taking place on Tumblr about important topics in the LDS community, like racism or Ordain Women, which couldn't be discussed in mainstream LDS spaces. 

I soon found the LGBTQ+ LDS community which called themselves queerstake. I would message them and make comments on their posts, and they gently encouraged me to write my own blog posts to share my thoughts with others. I resisted, thinking I had nothing of value to add to the conversation and no one would be interested in what I had to say. I finally wrote my first blog post in June 2016 and it was about meeting the Sistas in Zion and sharing that I'm gay and the kindness of their reaction. That post got exactly zero likes or comments, reaffirming my belief that I didn't have anything of interest to share. I didn't write another post until August and it got a few likes and that was enough, I wrote several more posts that month and haven't stopped.

I used to go to blogging sites to find blogs by queer Latter-day Saints. Their stories resonated with me and felt important. Usually they began with someone coming home from their mission, which they hoped would be rewarded by God removing their gayness, and being disappointed or surprised this didn't happen. They expressed a commitment to staying in the church, but as the months went by they more and more wrote about the hurt they experienced, the pain of church policies aimed at them, insensitive encounters with church members and leaders, and anger at things said in General Conference. Typically there would be entries for a few months and then the blog goes silent, no more entries. 

I would think of not just how important these blogs were to me, but in some distant future they would be of interest to historians wanting to better understand what it was like to be a queer Mormon at a time of big changes in society and the LDS Church. 

Most of those blogs were written by folks in their 20's and lasted just a few months to maybe up to 2 years. I thought perhaps writing as someone in their 40's would add to these voices, and for it to matter I needed to be authentic in sharing my thoughts, feelings and experiences, showing the good, bad, and ugly. I honestly was surprised and thrilled if I had a post reach 40 or 50 likes, and was unprepared for having a post in 2017 get clicked on more than a half-million times.

Since my viral post a lot of younger queer people started following me. I still wanted to be honest and authentic and vulnerable, but I also wanted my blog to be a queer-positive space, which is why is have many posts with rainbows so visually it's clear this is a blog of a queer person. 

I started getting many messages with questions, often anonymously which meant the only way I could respond was by posting my answer to my blog. I soon felt like I was the Dear Ann Landers of Queerstake and have posted about 2000 responses since 2017, which averages to about 150 such responses per year. 

Because queer people usually don't grow up being taught about queer history and culture, I will occasionally make posts about such things, including about LDS queer history because as a queer Mormon, I can be proud of the LDS pioneer and pioqueer legacies. 

The person who started this blog 10 years ago could never have imagined I would be out to everyone in my life, and once I was out that I would still be a member of the LDS Church and get to meet General Authorities, that I would have my words published in books, be a guest on podcasts, or serve in the leadership of an organization (Affirmation) for queer people. It's been a wild ride.

[lemuel-apologist]

im going to respond to this on my own blog (not naming names; not dragging the OP into this further, and so on) because this is something i've had a lot of private discussions about with mormons and exmormons alike.

i think, genuinely, that-- you're missing the point. the original poster is a queer mormon. queer mormons, like other marginalized populations within the church, have had to rectify their faith with that aspect of themselves; much in the same way that any woman who is aware of the church's faults and still participates ; and, often, the reason they stay is because they found some kernel of value there that meant they couldn't throw the whole of it away.

more than that, though, the church is broader than you think it is. there is such a vast spectrum of experiences within it that boiling the entirety of it down to the barest elements means that you miss the nuances of the lives that a large chunk of people within it lead. how many people in your local relief society have ever heard of the ordain women movement? and, of them, which women know what actually happened to kate kelly? who has heard of mormon feminism? who has read it? because the people i've met, who know of these large issues with the church and have chosen to stay, fall into these camps-- those of cultural need (a need for community in an area with a lack in other areas) and of having kept themselves aware and abreast and decided this is a flawed organization, but my faith is not in the organization; it is in certain principles i was taught. my faith is not in russell m. nelson; my faith is in some aspect of beauty i found in the world-- through the syncretism of science and faith i was taught in seminary, through the laugh of a child, through the stacking of chords, through something i found in the church; eternal families and ritual and doctrine. and so they stay, and participate, with every intention of fixing what is wrong, and eschewing the rest.

do you think them so inhumane that they can overlook the musketfire talk? do you think they don't hear the reload? the gun is aimed at them, too. the procedure-for-transgender-members is about them. do you think they don't grieve? yelling cult-cult-cult isn't a way to get them to leave, if that's your goal; it's not a way to grieve with them; it's not a way to add nuance to your discussion; frankly, it's cruel.

and you are well within your right to feel hurt and wounded. you are.

but the truth is, the breakdown of the church, from the top down, means that our experiences are varies. mine was more cult-like. my friends had pictures of jesus taped in their showers. i got blamed for getting my young women's leader's homeschooled son hooked on "godless punk music" even though he hated me too much to speak to me. that same woman wouldn't let us do anything unladylike; i was terrified of god watching me change; i cried myself to sleep while praying; and, honestly, other people had more gentle experiences. theirs were kinder. and that's due to the way that things break down at the units of areas, stakes, wards, and families.

the church has cult-like aspects when you break it down to its barest essentials. it does. but it's about how they're implemented within those units and across those divides. no single person's experience is going to be the same. i can joke about running my hands along the sisal walls because i like scratching my palms, but do you get what i mean when i say it was all overwhelming? not everybody does. things change from state to state, country to country-- and why wouldn't they?

[blessedarethebinarybreakers]

Advent Devotionals, 2023

I wanted to share some devotionals for this coming Advent (it starts December 3!) that are queer affirming & center marginalized perspectives. If you know of others, please add on!

What Are You Waiting For? An LGBTQIA+ Affirming Advent Devotional

Format: A short written devotional or poem for every day of Advent, shared as one PDF document linked above

Creators: The Collective of Queer Christian Leaders, including Rev. Nicole Garcia of the National LGBTQ Task Force and members of the Transmission Ministry Network

Another Starry Black Night: A Womanist Advent Devotional

Format: Short written devotionals, one for each Sunday & Wednesday of Advent, as well as Christmas day

Creators: Black women, most of whom are ordained Presbyterian ministers, some of whom are queer

Posted on Unbound: An Interactive Journal of Christian Social Justice

Abolition Advent Calendar: "Freedom for All Bodies"

Format: daily written devotionals that you can sign up to receive as emails. Each week expands the theme of abolition & racial justice to include 1) reproductive justice; 2) trans/nonbinary justice; 3) disability justice; and 4) body positivity

Shared by Join the Movement, a UCC organization

"Todos! Todos! Todos! Advent Reflections and Meditations on the Scriptures

Format: Zoom calls with a reflection followed by discussion groups every Wednesday of Advent, 8pm-9pm EST

Creators: DignityUSA, a Catholic LGBT-advocacy organization

An Advent Guide with Reflections on Palestine/Israel

Format: a devotional for each Sunday of Advent, shared as one PDF linked above

Creators: "Each week during Advent read firsthand accounts from recently returned Ecumenical Accompaniers (EAs) of their experiences during their deployment with the World Council of Churches’ Ecumenical Accompaniment Program in Palestine and Israel (WCC-EAPPI). Along with their stories and photos are bible readings, further resources and prayers to offer."

[eternal-echoes]

"The intimate partnership of married life and love has been established by the Creator and qualified by His laws, and is rooted in the conjugal covenant of irrevocable personal consent. Hence by that human act whereby spouses mutually bestow and accept each other a relationship arises which by divine will and in the eyes of society too is a lasting one. For the good of the spouses and their off-springs as well as of society, the existence of the sacred bond no longer depends on human decisions alone. For, God Himself is the author of matrimony, endowed as it is with various benefits and purposes.(1) All of these have a very decisive bearing on the continuation of the human race, on the personal development and eternal destiny of the individual members of a family, and on the dignity, stability, peace and prosperity of the family itself and of human society as a whole. By their very nature, the institution of matrimony itself and conjugal love are ordained for the procreation and education of children, and find in them their ultimate crown. Thus a man and a woman, who by their compact of conjugal love "are no longer two, but one flesh" (Matt. 19:ff), render mutual help and service to each other through an intimate union of their persons and of their actions. Through this union they experience the meaning of their oneness and attain to it with growing perfection day by day. As a mutual gift of two persons, this intimate union and the good of the children impose total fidelity on the spouses and argue for an unbreakable oneness between them.(2)"

-Gaudium et Spes, PASTORAL CONSTITUTION ON THE CHURCH IN THE MODERN WORLD