#or. hell. there could even be a clash of ideals here if they did end up helping w sunflower orphanage (& other orphanages within the area?)

[datastate]

miné isn't my 'favorite' character by any means, but i do genuinely believe there was so much more that could've been done with his character/dynamic with daigo that would've been interesting to see progress in future games. it's a damn shame they wasted it here.

[spookykoolkat]

always mine, forever - e.m.

main masterlist

pairing: eddie munson x plus size!reader

summary: hosting a movie night for you and all of your friends was the least stressful part of it all. the thing that worried you the most was how you were going to function with eddie the freak munson sleeping downstairs, the man you'd crushed on for the longest. what happens when eddie is the last one awake after everyone's gone to bed?

warnings: MDNI!!!!!! 18+ ONLY! minors r not welcome! (eddie is 20, reader is 19), mentions of mutual pining, harmless flirting, talks of body image, oral sex (f receiving), foreplay (fingering), p in v, unprotected sex, creampie/breeding, dirty talk, long buildup (lots of words.), virgin!reader, just filth and a bit of fluff? ENJOY!!!

•••

You agreed to being the host for movie night slash sleepover, so as you got everything ready for the group of teenagers spending the night in your home, you managed to pull out sheets, blankets and pillows for everyone to choose from. it was just going to be the older teens, the kids were sleeping over at Max's house, and in the morning we all decided to meet there to go out on the town together.

It was nice, having a small family consisting of everyone who witnessed the monstrosities that happened over the last four years. It was going to be you, Nancy, Jonathan, Steve, Argyle, Robin, and Eddie, bunched up in a house that only held two long couches and a blow up bed. You warned everyone it might be tight but compared to everyone else's living spaces, it was the ideal sleepover spot.

You were honestly a little nervous having everyone here tonight, specifically Eddie. It wasn't like there was an obvious attraction between you two, hell you felt closer to everyone else but Eddie. He tried though, he did whatever it took to at least get a word out to you, or to acknowledge however he could. You knew who Eddie was, and frankly your aesthetic clashes hard with his.

Though you loved punk bands, you were more into the goth scene, but you listened to everything. You enjoyed creepy things, gorey movies, but you also had a bubbly side to you that usually overpowered everything else. While you drank and smoked, you didn't do it as much as everyone else and they never pressured you either. You or Robin would end up as the designated drivers, posing as the mothers of the group. You didn't like to not feel like yourself, so only on occasion did you smoke or drink.

Everyone respected it, including Eddie, which you enjoyed. he enjoyed the different aesthetics everyone had, but took a peculiar interest in yours. He kind of studied you, especially since you weren't someone who he would talk to under any other circumstance.

The beauty of the horrors that happened in Hawkins brought people together, even the oddest of combinations.

But Eddie. You knew how Eddie was even before you guys talked. He was one of the outcasts that truly didn't give a fuck that he was the outcast.

He took pride in that, and also didn't fight the generational cycle of being classified as a fuck up. He was a douchebag to everyone else, including your friends, except for you.

You heard the asshole comments that would come out of his mouth, his smart ass retorts, his sarcasm, but he never did that with you. You sort of started feeling something for him during the end of freshman year. You would secretly go to the area he and his friends would play, just to listen to the music. You were too nervous to be the girl that walks up to anyone first, let alone Eddie.

He intimidated you honestly, the rings and the metal music, his punk rock aesthetic. You had every reason to believe there was no way he'd even look your way, he didn't see like the type to love all types of women. You kept telling yourself that nobody truly liked fat girls, no one really finds us attractive. There's no way Eddie Munson would even look at you as anything more than a mere friend, or even friend of a friend.

But he did.

Eddie couldn't risk the truth when you first came into the group, he couldn't risk anyone knowing that he'd been crushing on you since freshman year. It was like clockwork, Eddie never failed to fall so hard for someone who didn't even look his way.

But he saw you, and the things that drew you to him was the fact that you dressed as you pleased, spoke how you wanted, and that it seemed to him you didn't know he existed. What was your issue? He would think to himself every time he thought maybe he'd catch you looking at him at least once.

Eddie felt he could not be a man without seeing your beauty. That any man who overlooked you was simply not a man, but a boy. The high school girls who made fun of your weight, the boys who snickered close enough for you to hear, just so you know that they think you look ridiculous, he saw everything, and he absolutely hated it.

He couldn't even fathom how anyone could take a look at you and decide you were ugly because of your weight. Or ugly in general. Eddie wanted to force them to see you, to see what everyone was missing out on, what he was missing out on.

"Maybe get some clothes that fit, fat ass." Basketball players, football players, the jocks, hell even the nerds.

"You're just mad cause you can't make it past the cheeks, asshole," you would retort. It didn't bother you the way it bothered Eddie.

It caused him to feel this certain rage, that someone could be so comfortable commenting on someone's body, but especially yours. He thought you were perfect. Eddie genuinely believed you could do no wrong, even if you hurt him a million times and more.

As you set up the DVDs on your TV mantle, you heard the doorbell ringing and it made you glance at the clock. 5:00PM. You walked over to the door, opening it to see Nancy and Robin, smiling widely with their overnight bags in hand and plastic bags, insinuating they brought snacks or goodies for their small get together.

You greeted them with tight hugs, complimenting their looks and inviting them inside.

"Are we the only ones here?" Nancy asked and you nodded with your lips pressed into a thin line and she shook her head.

"Of course we are Nance, they're boys. Always a littleeeee bit behind." Robin said as she set her bags down on the couch, keeping her plastic bag and going into the kitchen, you and Nance following her.

"What'd ya bring me?" You said smiling, as you sat on the barstool in front of your kitchen island, Nancy on your side and Robin across from you.

"Well, I figured Ed would bring the weed so I brought booze. And sprite because well, you're a little princess who shall not be tainted by us, the bad influences." Robin said sarcastically, giving a playful smile to let you know she's just joking.

"Shut up Robin, I can get crazy if I wanted to." You rolled your eyes, grabbing one of the large bottles to examine.

"You? Get crazy?" Nance raised her eyebrows at you with a small smile, as in 'oh please.' You just smacked your lips and rolled your eyes.

"Yes! I can, watch." You say, almost like a bet to the girls.

"You don't have to, we're just joking." Robin replied, taking the bottle from you again.

"Well, I want to. I'm not driving and it's a Friday night." You replied, deciding to let loose a little tonight.

Before you could continue the conversation, the doorbell rings again followed by consistent obnoxious knocking. It's definitely the guys, so you go to open up the door and is greeted by 4 men, all taller than you, with dumb boyish grins on their faces. Eddie, being one of them is the first one to speak.

"Girl's night!!"

All the guys pour in and go to greet Nancy and Robin after greeting you, Eddie only pulling you in by the waist and hugging you. Robin eyed you from across the room.

"So, what's on the agenda tonight?" Steve asked, holding onto Nancy's waist as every starts situating themselves in the kitchen.

You watch as Eddie sits at the kitchen island and pulls out a tin lunchbox, unhooking it and taking out the bud, rolling papers, gar wraps, and lighters.

"Look, the pothead came prepared!" Robin joked, Eddie rolling his eyes at her.

"You know, I prefer to be referred to as a business man. I prioritize my clients, but friends come first! Plus, if it wasn't for everybody would be smoking dog shit in a rolling paper." He said proudly, not even looking at his fingers grinding the weed apart.

"No grinder man?" Argyle asked, almost tsking at him.

"What the hell is a grinder?" Nancy asked and looked at you. You just shrugged your shoulders and shook your head. You had no idea, or any knowledge behind marijuana.

"Not when I was born and blessed with nature's grinder," Eddie remarked, shimmying his fingers at him and smiling behind them.

"Anyways," You said, looking towards everyone.

"I'm thinking we can just watch movies, drink, smoke, play games—honestly I don't care we can do whatever." You said and they all agreed, smiling.

The playful banter continued, and it sparked more conversation amongst the group but you really weren't paying attention. You look over to Eddie to see his focused and kind of hunched over his work. You decided to walk over to him and sit down next to him, giving him a smile as he glanced up at you quickly.

"Whatchya doin'?" You sang in a tune, nodding your head towards the materials he has.

"Creating art," he exasperated, starting to sprinkle the green herb into something that looks like a small brown rectangle.

"Can I watch?" You ask, resting your chin on your knuckles.

"Making me a little nervous sweetheart, think I got performance anxiety," He said after seemingly poking a hole through the cigar wrap he was using.

"You? Eddie Munson? Performance anxiety?" You asked, pausing with every question.

"I can be.....how I am, and still be a bit shy when a pretty girl watches me do something I've done for years. Can't help it," He said shrugging. He was hoping that maybe by dropping hints you'd start to notice him more. But you did notice him. Always.

He started to tear small pieces of another cigar wrap and patching the hole up, acting as a surgeon.

You acknowledged all of his little tid-bits, his quirks, how his eyebrow sometimes twitches when he's focused or how when he's a little zoned out, his mouth hangs open slightly. You adored everything about the man sitting next to you and still for some reason you could not admit it, not even to Nancy or Robin.

"Didn't you have a band? It was like," You furrowed your eyebrows, digging for the memory of his music he played in during freshman year.

You tried to use it as a point of him being ridiculous for insinuating you make him nervous. Eddie looked up to you curiously before licking the wrap to seal it, and he couldn't even believe you knew he played music. He swore you never acknowledged him, or saw him how he saw you. He would walk by you on purpose, cutting corners to see you come out of class so he'd be in the hall the same time as you, and nothing.

What he didn't know was you stole small glances of him enough to not get caught. It was like you knew exactly when he was going to snap his head around to see who's eyes he felt on him, and you just pretended to act as if you weren't looking in his direction.

You listened to his conversations occasionally when he was loud enough, and believe he was loud.

When you looked back at him to finally prove you remembered the name, your mind went blank seeing him looking at you licking the blunt to finally smoke. He was just so attractive, so sexy, everything about his hands to his tattoos to his face, he was everything to you and he didn't know. You have always wanted to tell him, you constantly told yourself that the worst he'd do is reject you.

"It was, uh, Corroded Coffin, no? " You said slowly, and he sat back up from his crouched position, setting the blunt on the table.

"Yes. Yes it was. And still is! We perform still, small gigs but it's more than enough for me right now." He said proudly, beginning to roll again but with a white paper.

"What's the difference between them? Why is that one like paper?" You asked, nodding towards his paraphernalia scattered on your counter.

"Well you see," He starts, leaning into you while picking both the paper and the pre-rolled blunt.

"This one, it's actually a cigar. But, when you split that cigar and remove the contents of said cigar, also called the 'guts' of the cigar, you have something like this," and removes the blunt from the spotlight, raising the paper to glorify its presence.

"But, this is just paper. Made for things like weed or tobacco, but you roll regular tobacco in this paper it's just a cigarette. Roll your weed in this paper, it's a joint." He teaches, and you actually listen.

You truly weren't the most amazing student, you're getting by in high school, a solid B/C student. But, listening to Eddie just now you learned the difference between two things pertaining to something you don't even really do. You just loved to listen to Eddie talk, especially about things he loves and is passionate about.

Every tangent he went on, every venting episode he's had, every weird conversation about things that could or could not exist—you listened. You were fascinated by his words, his way of speaking, it was possible you could listen to his voice for hours.

"I see, so is the one used with the cigar also tobacco?" You asked, picking it up yourself from his fingers and examining it.

"Mmm, yeah it's a tobacco leaf that is used to smoke tobacco. But someone got creative and freaky and decided to try something else. You know, I always wanted to try to smoke out of like a plant. That'd be cool." He said, and you smiled and laughed a little as he bumped you with his shoulder.

"Now give it back before you hurt yourself." He jokes, taking it from you and you roll your eyes.

"Whatever, I'm a big girl I can handle myself." You rolled your eyes and rested your forearms on the cold marble slab.

"I'm sure you can sweetheart."

You just smiled, and bumped him back decided to sit and watch him roll this next one. Everyone sort of made their way around the house, everyone doing their own thing or settling in before everyone starts to drink and relax.

"Hey, can we order pizza?"

-- ✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧⋄⋆⋅⋆⋄✧ --

It was 8pm by the time everyone settled down into the couches, picking A Nightmare On Elm Street to watch, two blunts being passed around as well as red solo cups on each person. Everyone was chatting, laughing, and overall feeling really good being all together in each others presence. Nancy and Steve sat in a pair, as well as Jonathan and Argyle, leaving you, Eddie and Robin on the other couch.

You sat on the side of the couch where the armrest was, Eddie sitting next to you, and Robin decided to sit in front of the couch rather than on the couch after the first death in the movie. You smiled at her childlike position, almost sitting directly in front of the TV. You got passed the blunt from Argyle, him saying something about how tight this strain of weed was, not really registering gin your head because to you, weed was weed.

"Blue dream, never heard of it?" A voice came from next to you as you breathed in the smoke, the THC coating your lungs.

"I thought it was just weed," You choked out, finally exhaling and pulling another drag, respecting the rules of the rotation.

Eddie watched as you inhaled the second puff, passing it to him and he grabbed it from between your fingers, lingering a little to graze your skin. Everyone already got comfortable, everyone sitting in their respective PJs. You, sitting in a pair of fluffy shorts with a black tank top, still tight and still making your tits sit pretty without a bra.

Eddie didn't go without noticing, especially when the room is dark and the only light is emulating from the TV and small lights hanging above it.

Eddie hit the blunt twice, passing it to Robin who reaches back to grab it.

"Let Eddie do his marijuana 101 class, again," he said, scooting a little closer with his blanket.

Now you noticed him, his long hair and his wide brown eyes that still seemed wide even after being high. Your eyes on the otherhand feel lazy, low and dazed, still searching his face for new features you never noticed. Like his small moles peppered in weird places, a small light one placed right on the cupids bow of his lip.

"A weed strain is basically just a classification of the plant's makeup. So what makes weed, weed. It's like when animals breed, if an animal bred with another species. If that makes sense. Honestly, I'm kind of stoned out of my mind so. Just know every strain is different, and I talk a lotttt when I'm high, so." He summed up, feeling a little embarrassed about his whispered rambling. Everyone else was glued onto the TV screen, the score of the movie louder than the two of you.

"Mm, so you're a weed know -it-all?" You teased, your legs bent sideways to get more comfortable into the couch.

"Something like that." he said, his tone not really lighthearted anymore. He was too distracted watching you. Maybe it was the weed, but he truly couldn't focus on anything but you.

The conversation ends there, leaving you to focus back on the screen as Freddy attacks again. But as Eddie scopes out the room, the only people even awake at this moment was you, Eddie, Argyle and Nancy.

Robin ended up falling asleep on the floor after you all finished the first blunt, Steve is laid up on Nancy as she bats her eyes open, visibly fighting her sleep, and Argyle is still puffing clouds as the second blunt starts to get smaller and smaller.

The room is smokey, a little claustrophobic but not noticeable through your high, and Argyle passes it back to you so you can take another two hits from it. While you smoke, your mind starts to drift to think about the guy sitting next to you in his guitar printed pajama pants and black t-shirt, his usual silver chain sitting on his sternum.

You were able to see most of him through your peripheral vision, his hands resting on his own lap, his chest rising and falling, and the way his legs are spread while he's slumped against the cushion now.

You thought about you and him being the only people in the room, crawling on top of him and letting your ass press against him. You wanted him in the dirtiest ways right now and you felt the weed and little bit of alcohol you drank in your system. You felt incredibly needy for him, thinking of sinful thoughts while he's right next to you. You felt crazy, almost silly, you wanted to laugh at yourself.

"You okay, sweetheart?" He whispered lowly, weed and vodka on his breath, still not enough to make you repulsed. You didn't notice you were completely staring at his lips and jaw, not until you shook your head slightly and smiled.

"Yeah, m' sorry, got distracted.": You confessed, shifting your legs to lay across his lap. You needed some sort of contact, you didn't care what it was. You knew it would never go further than this, so you're allowed to dwell in it a little more.

"I need to stretch, you don't mind?" Like he'd say yes.

"Not at all, stretch as you please ma'am." He grinned, placing his arms to rest on your shins as he passed the blunt in Nancys direction, when she decided to tap out. Eddie reached and handed it to Argyle, letting him finish whatever was left.

"Yo dudes... I'm.. stonedddd." Argyle whispered and laughed, making you giggle at his tolerance as if him and Eddie didn't have the highest tolerance of the group.

"Me too," You agreed, looking at Eddie who smiled with squinted eyes, nodding in agreement.

"I need to take a wazz. Be right back," Argyle said, getting him from his sat position next to Jonathan's sleeping figure and goig to the restroom.

You glanced over at Nancy, and sure enough she's passed out, leaning against Steve under a blanket. It was just you and Eddie. but no words were said. Your body wasn't facing the TV anymore, instead your body faced Eddie since your legs laid on his.

"You feel okay?" He asked, his large, warm hand going to rub your leg, squeezing occasionally. You almost squirmed, his touch sent a sense of energy through you, straight to your core.

"Yeah, yeah, I am. What about you? My legs aren't too heavy for you?" You teased, resting your head against the couch cushion next to you.

"Mm, you could never be too heavy for me sweetheart. Bet I could lift you up and carry you where you needed to go." He said, squeezing your calf. Eddie tip toed around you, never exposing his truth to you or anyone, but everyone saw it. Nancy saw, Robin saw, hell even the guys saw how crazy Eddie was for you.

"I wouldn't be so confident about that. I weigh waaaay more than Chrissy Cunningham, sir. The girls you've been with were easy to pick up, I might be a bit of a challenge." You teased, and you felt his hand inch up towards the thickness of your bare thighs. You didn't know how to tell him to stop unless he wanted you on top of him.

"I"m Eddie Munson, sweet girl. I never shy away from a challenge, even though picking you up wouldn't be a challenge for me." The real challenge was picking you up and not holding you against a wall so he can slide in and out of you.

"How did you know I slept with Chrissy? That was like, sophomore year." He asked, genuinely curious.

Because of social statuses, Chrissy wanted to put it to the side, she said some things just weren't meant for other peoples eyes. But it didn't stop her from coming around Eddie in public, it just made Eddie more weary about sleeping with her. He felt better with her as his friend rather than fuck buddy simply because, Chrissy wasn't his type. Physically yes, but emotionally, no. He thought she was gorgeous, but he couldn't keep his attention her, or any other girl for that matter.

There was only you.

"I think I paid more attention to you than you did me. I know I was like, in the shadows and shit, so I don't blame you for like, not noticing me. But yeah, I saw her hanging around you a lot and then well, word gets around in the girls' bathroom." You confessed, your eyes still on his as his hand rested on your thigh, closer to your knee.

"And what was this word that was getting around, hm?" he asked, moving one hand to run through his hair.

"That you and Chrissy were like, a thing. Or that you guys hooked up a lot. Things of that nature." You admitted, looking down at your fingers then glancing back at him.

There was a pause of silence, and you started to feel like maybe you overstepped. Who are you to comment on his sex life? You're just friends!

"I did notice you." he said, moving his body to lean into you more, scooting closer to you on the couch with your legs still on top of his thighs.

"You don't have to lie Eddie, if it wasn't for Nancy I don't think we'd even be talking right now." You said, noticing his close proximity now.

Before he could reply, Argyle comes out of the restroom yawning, the room still completely dark so you couldn't see Eddie staring at you intently.

"I'm soo sleepy my dudes, I think I'm gonna hit the sack." He said and you move your legs from Eddie's lap and stand up so they can all start to rearrange themselves. Everyone slowly starts to wake up, still stoned, but now passing each other pillows and blankets. Eddie on the other hand, is stuck.

"I will see you guys in the morning, I'll be in my room if anyone needs me. Goodnight," you said and they all lazily murmured goodnight in unison.

You could just feel Eddie's eyes burning into your back, until you disappear upstairs and enter your room. You practically throw yourself against the bed, immediately shutting your eyes and squeezing your legs. You inhale and exhale, then remove your shorts to get comfortable and crawling inside your blankets.

Eddie, was forced to sleep on the floor with Jonathan and Argyle. Steve and Nancy took the couch with the ottoman so they could both fit, and Robin refused to sleep on the floor so she took the other couch. But as everyone around him fell back asleep, Eddie's eyes stayed open.

He couldn't stop thinking about you, he couldn't stop thinking about the fact that he wanted you more than anything, even just to be next to. He would never do anything to make you uncomfortable, he would never overstep, all he needed was to even be in your presence and he's completely satisfied.

But an hour went by. Then two hours, and then three. By the time Eddie started to feel his bladder fill up, it was one in the morning and still not a wink of sleep.

He knew that the only restroom there was is the one two doors from your room, upstairs. So he forced himself to get up, and trudge upstairs, past your room and into the restroom but the minute he walked in, the urge to pee was gone. He was too distracted, looking at himself in the mirror wondering if he should act on his impulses or not.

"It's not like you two never shared a bed before." He whispered to himself, looking back at the time you two had to bunk together at Will's house. But, at the time feelings and emotions weren't the focus.

He shook himself out of it, breathed in and out, and told himself it's just two friends sleeping in the same bed, if you even said yes.

A knock woke you out of your sleep, your eyes still squinted, the weed somehow hitting harder after a few hours of sleep.

"Mmm, who is it?" Your voice strained, sleep coating it making it hard for Eddie to hear.

"Uh, it's Eddie." He whispered yelled and you kind of got more alert, but didn't stop yourself from telling him to come in. The only light in the room after he shut the door behind him was the pink lava lamp on your bedside table. You saw him in pink through the blurriness of your vision, you sitting up on your elbow to see him.

"I, uh, couldn't sleep. Floor's uncomfortable. You think I can crash with you?" He asked, his hands behind his back. You didn't really think about it, you weren't uncomfortable or anything. You knew he was your friend and you thought you knew that there was no attraction on his end.

"Yeah, but um, I don't have shorts on so, just.. yeah." You were just too sleepy to explain yourself, hoping he'd get the hint that if he wasn't okay with it you weren't going to put them on, and he can leave.

"Don't mind me. Live your truth," He whispered, smiling and going to the other side of the bed to lift the sheets and crawl in with you. Your bed was pretty big, but you were a bigger girl so you could kinda feel the heat of his body against you.

Eddie faced your back, his head now against your pillows, in your bed, and he was in love with the smell. You smelled of coconuts and some kind of floral fragrance, and he basked in it the entire time he laid next to you.

"Are you awake?" He poked you and you sighed

"Yes Edward, I am awake." You moaned.

What could he possibly want right now? It's not that you were annoyed, you just wanted to go to sleep as fast as possible so you would forget you had Eddie fucking Munson in your bed.

"What's your favorite band?" he asked and you smiled to yourself, his randomness was also something that never failed to make you smile.

"Guess." You told him, knowing he probably wouldn't know, but it'd be worth a try.

But he knew, he knew exactly what your favorite band. He would listen to the songs that came out of your walk-man since you played it loud enough to hear.

"Sisters of Mercy." He said in a sure voice, and you were taken aback.

No one truly knew your music taste, you weren't one to play the music when you had guests over or friends to hang out with. He practically left you speechless, and you then thought about what else he knew about you that you don't remember mentioning to him. There was a small silence, something you took for granted as you tried to wonder how he knew. Almost like reading your mind and noticing your body shifting, he spoke.

"I noticed you." He said, moving his hands to rest under his cheek. He just kept his eyes on your back, taking advantage of the fact that your eyes weren't on him.

"What?" You said confused, more awake than ever now. Your eyes were almost popping out of your head the way you stared down the wall across from you.

"You said I didn't notice you and that I was lying. But I did notice you. I don't know how you never knew but I had the biggest fucking crush on you for like, ever. Maybe even since middle school. Which is kind of weird since we never talked? But, you were just like, woah," He said, his heart beating against the wall of his chest. It all spilled out like word vomit, he couldn't stop but also didn't want to stop.

"You're just so fucking pretty. Like do you understand how gorgeous you are? Not just to me but to everyone with a fucking brain?" This one was foreign to you, you were so frozen that Eddie was actually telling you that you were gorgeous. You kind of forgot how to breathe, especially with being able to just feel his presence next to you.

"Eds.. You don't actually like me do you? Like, I really didn't think that was ever even an option to consider." You insisted but he just kind of laughed it off behind you.

"I've liked you for a long time sweetheart, you're perfect to me. I really just want to shrink you so I can carry you in my pocket with me everywhere. I never not want to be around you. I only ever feel alive, or real when you look at me."

Eddie needed you to know now and spoke in a more serious manner, before he lives until he's 95 thinking about what could've been if he had went into your room to confess to you. He knew it was a big reach to assume you'd be receptive and feel the same way, but who was Eddie Munson without his lack of shame?

"Me too." You whispered, now Eddie was the frozen one.

"What was that?" He asked. He needed the clarification before he exploded, because if you meant what he thinks you meant, he didn't know what he'd do.

"I've liked you too. I think about you a lot honestly," You bit your lip and gripped your pillow, shifting your body. You could practically hear your heartbeat in the silence of the room.

"What?" He asked again, so you said it again.

"Eddie, I like you too. I want you too, and have for a while." Still facing the wall you just wait to hear his voice again.

"You, want me?" He whispered, lowly this time and you started to blush. Grateful he wasn't looking at you, you let yourself get a bit embarrassed. Confessing you've wanted him, thee Eddie Munson who could pretty much have whoever he wanted.

"I've wanted you forever. I was actually jealous of Chrissy. I kind of thought you'd never really go for someone who looked like me, so I kinda just kept my head down around you. It seemed like you always had someone to entertain yourself with and the someone in question were always like, skinny girls. Or fit girls. I didn't think, I don't know I feel like you saw me as more of one of the guys or something." You rambled and waited for his response. There was just silence, and you knew maybe he wasn't serious like you were. You had just confessed to wanting him and he wasn't saying anything.

Until you felt him scoot closer, and putting his hand at the curve of your waist. His hand caressed your side, feeling and almost massaging at your rolls and moving his hand to go towards your stomach.

"You don't have shit to be jealous about Chrissy. Size doesn't matter to me, I think you're fucking sexy. I'd rather see you dance around in that little cheer outfit, I'd rather see you in my bed," He said without a trace of goofiness.

He was serious, and he was starting to get hot and bothered by touching you. He gets closer and practically presses himself against you, his hands and fingers moving over your bare thighs to your side, to your stomach.

He was gripping and massaging and feeling all of you and you loved it. You even started to put your arm over his, letting it follow his as he feels your body under his touch. His hand covered a lot and he was able to grip almost all of you everywhere, and he was taking pleasure in having you this close to him, all to himself.

"I'd choose you a thousand times over. You don't know how bad I've fucking craved to see you, all of you. How I wished to be the asshole you were kissing in the hallways, how I've wanted to feel you like this for years." He kept going, tugging at your panties as you started to move your hips to grind into his hardening cock, and he groaned softly.

"Eddie, please. I, I need you. Want you inside, please," You whimpered and he moaned at the feeling of your ass rubbing into him, squeezing your side and putting his chin on your shoulder to see your tits from that angle. He wanted to see your face, to see your entire body, but for right now he can wait.

"You are so precious, baby. Look at you, grinding into me, who are you right now?" He breathed against your neck, his hand starting to move under your shirt and towards your panties.

"Do you want me like this, princess?" He asked you, tapping closer and closer to your mound.

"Yes, Eddie, I fucking want it please, please," You begged him, moving your legs and hips to try to get closer to his fingers.

"These panties are so cute baby, these polka dots?" He teased, moving your panties down enough with one hand to access your wet core.

You felt a little embarrassed at your granny panties but he loved them. Anything you were in, he loved. You could be wearing a prison jumpsuit and he'd think you were gorgeous, and innocent.

"Mmph, if I knew you were going to confess your love to me and start touching me, I would've wore different ones," You admitted, rushing to get your sentence out because before you know it his fingers were indulging in your wetness, feeling how warm you were and how fat your cunt was, coating his fingers before slowly rubbing your nub that he found easily. He loved every part of you, and feeling how you felt on his fingers, he knew he was going to be obsessed with you.

"Is that right? You have 'fuck me' panties hm?" He taunted and moved his fingers faster as you moved against his body and rubbed against his boner even more.

"Ed-Eddie, you, fuuck oh my god, how- fuck what the fuck," You moaned, trying to moan quietly so no one wakes up and remembers in the morning.

"I kind of like these though. Not kind of, I like them a lot." He confessed and watched you as you whined and squirmed against his body, against his fingers.

"Love the way your ass looks in these, just so fucking sexy,"

"You feel, s-so good. Don't stop, please," You said in a breathy moan, and honestly he almost painted his boxers with his cum.

"You are going to drive me fucking crazy like this, baby," He groaned against your neck and you started to feel your orgasm creep up on you the minute he pushes two of his thick, tattooed fingers inside of your dripping hole.

"Oh fuck, look at you, you're doing so good for me taking my fingers like that. You are so fucking intoxicating, princess." He groaned as you felt him push his pelvis into the cheek of your ass.

"You see what you do to me? You make me go feral," He said and you decided to take the hand that was gripping Eddie's wrist, and reach behind you to find your way into his pants, grabbing his hard on and gently stroking, making him start to blank out.

Eddie actually seems to forget everything around him but you, and loses every thought he ever hand as he feels your wrap try to grip him firmly so your hand could be fully grasping it. But without ever seeing Eddie's cock, you can just feel how big it was. He wasn't just big, he was thick and you were admittedly scared.

"Wait, Eds, I-" The minute you said wait his hand stopped, leaving your core and instead going to your side as he lifted himself up to see you fully. You rolled onto your back after taking your hand away from him and he searched your face worriedly.

"Are you okay? Did I do too much? I'm sorry I-" He started to apologize and you just wrapped your arms around his neck and pulled him down, meeting your lips with his.

The minute your lips touch you know in your gut you'd never be able to kiss anyone else and have it feel the same as it does right now. Maybe you really were in love with him because you'd never felt like this before.

"No, you didn't do anything wrong. I want more, and i want you, it's just," You hesitated, wondering if the words that were going to come out of your mouth were going to scare him into not going further.

"You can talk to me, baby. I just told you how much I've always thought about you and looked at you which is borderline stalking. I'll listen." He pokes fun, his hand resting on top of your stomach.

The blankets were practically thrown off when Eddie decided to take your panties to your mid thigh, so now you lie there with your panties pulled back up and your tank top now showing your midriff.

"I'm, technically I'm like, a virgin." You confessed and his eyes went wide involuntarily, which made you cringe. You knew it'd be weird. Almost 19, graduating high school very soon, and not as much as a single guy fingering you ever.

"Like, fully? You've never done anything?" He asked, not a lick of judgement on his tongue.

"No, just, I mean I've obviously touched myself before," You begin and he opens his mouth.

"Obviously," He teased, like he was able to tell. You slapped his chest and laughed, shaking your head.

"Shut up," You said and continued, "I've just never let anyone go that far with me, and trust me there was never much of a line of guys to choose from either." You said and his hand went up to your face, touching your cheek and moving your frizzy hair from your face.

"We don't have to do anything you don't want to do." He reassured and you rested your hand against his, looking into his eyes.

"It's not that. I really want to. Like really, especially with you. Only if you're okay with being my first." You said and he almost looked shocked.

You were really asking him if he'd be okay taking your virginity, as if he'd ever say no. Anyone else, he'd say no. Too much emotional baggage for both parties honestly, he felt. But you, here you were just after riding his fingers, in a pair of panties and a thin measly tank top, saying you want him to be your first.

"If I'm okay with it? Only if you're okay with it, and only if this isn't a one time thing. Because I think I'm already obsessed with you and actually seeing you with someone else after this is going to send me to the psych ward." He said seriously, tapping your cheek with his pointer finger.

You loved it. You love the fact that there was this mutual attraction and mutual pining, but it made your core throb knowing he really only wanted you. That he'd lose his mind seeing you with someone else.

You don't answer him, instead you take his fingers from your cheek with your hand, grabbing the same two that were inside of you and teased them around your lips, your tongue poking out to act as if your lips were around his cock.

He couldn't believe what he was watching, how you swirled your tongue around his finger tips and ended up coating them with your spit, sucking on them and licking.

"You, you're-" He tried to spit out but nothing. His head was fucking empty except for this image burned into his mind, and he felt your teeth graze his knuckles as you took them from your mouth.

"I don't know how else to say it, Eddie. I need you." He wasted absolutely no time, diving down to your chest to kiss over your neck and collarbones. He ends up crawling on top of you and spreading your legs open with his knees so he can get between your legs.

"So that means no one's ever eaten this pretty pussy out before?" He asked against your chest, moving his hands up your shirt to your breasts that look absolutely mouth watering when you're on your back. And in general. Eddie just really loved boobs.

"No, I've never let anyone." You responded as he lifted your shirt up releasing your boobs from their confinement and enjoying the way they looked under this pink glow in the room.

"You want me to baby? Cus I reaaaally want to. Like reaaaally, reaaaaaally want to," He said as he brought his face closer to yours.

"I want you to eat me out, please Eddie." You begged in a whisper against his lips. You felt yourself clenching on nothing, still wet from having his fingers inside of you.

"Thank God," He breathed and started to kiss down your boobs, pushing them together with his hands and sucking gently on the skin around your nipples.

"You are so fucking sexy. I'm, fuck you are just, mmpfh," He grunted as he smothered his face in your chest, motor-boating you as you ran your fingers through you hair.

He plays with your tits for a bit, pinching and flicking and sucking your nipple until he makes his way down your stomach. He leaves kisses down every inch of you, gripping you and your stomach as he made his way down between your legs.

"I thought about you, um, like that a lot. I wanted to know how your lips felt on me." You confessed as you stuffed pillows behind your back so you're sitting up a little to see him. He almost felt his cock grow harder after you said that, making him rub gently against the bed.

"Yeah? My sweet girl thinkin' of me eating this pretty ass pussy, thinkin' of my tongue all over you? Is that right?" He asked as he rubbed his pointer finger over the wet spot on your panties, caressing your mound and the outline of your lips.

"I, yes fuck, yes I was. I always thought of, of how you'd feel inside me. I would-" You stopped yourself from saying too much as he continued to rub against your clothed pussy.

"Would what, baby?" He asked, moving his finger to the edge of your panties and running over the fat of your thigh.

"I, I would touch myself. To you." You confessed and Eddie almost fainted. He genuinely felt light headed as he started to picture you in this bed, your hand between those pretty pussy lips and dipping inside your heat.

"In this bed?" He asked, moving his head to kiss and nibble on your inner thigh.

"Yes, here, right here."

"Let me take these off for you baby," he said grabbing the hem of your panties and dragging them down. You lift your hips up and let him slide them off, opening your legs again do his face is right in front of your pussy. He honestly loved the hair you had, his hands going to tug in it.

"M' sorry, I haven't shaved in a bit," You confessed, looking down at him between your legs as his eyes looked up.

"You think I care baby? Love this shit, you're so fucking perfect. I bet you taste better than you look," He groaned as immediately moved his hand to take two fingers and spread your heat to expose your clit and hole.

"Look at this, fuck I'm trying not to bust right now, you are soaked. It's all for me angel?" He asked, rubbing his fingers along your slit and you're almost sat up with your knees bent, so your tits are pushed together and kind of in your face as you squirm and moan

"All for you Eddie, please. You make me so fucking wet," You confessed and threw your head back when his tongue laid flat on your clit.

"Fuck, Eddie oh my god," you moaned, leaning back more to push your mound into his face and he noticed. He let you push up to suffocate him with your pussy. He pulled away with a large breath.

"Don't be shy, baby. You want me to eat you out? Make me do it, ride my face if you want to, push my head into this pretty pussy. I will die by this fucking pussy, princess." He growled, looking into your eyes as you whimpered and nodded.

He smiled, kissing your inner thigh before going back to licking and suck at your clit before entering his two fingers.

You don't hold back with your moans, or the force your putting into grinding your cunt into his face.

"Baby, please please don't stop, fu-fuck it feels so good please," You cried, his eyes never leaving yours as he slurps and licks all your juices.

He was in heaven, there was nothing that could compare to watching you losing your mind over his tongue. He wanted you to feel good, to feel sexy, to feel loved. He needed you to know there was no one he'd rather do this with.

He just kept going, pumping his fingers in and out slowly, kissing over your pussy lips just to go back to licking you from your clit to your hole. Eddie kept lapping at your hole as he finger fucked you, then went up to your clit with his tongue and used his other hand to rub your clit and lick at the same time.

"Eddie, baby, I think you're gon-gonna make me cum," you said, placing your hands on either side of his head as he watched your eyebrows furrow and eyes fight to stay open so you could watch him as you cum.

You were a mess at this point, your pussy was glistening under the pink glow, your juices were all over his lips and chin, leaking down your ass.

"Give it to me baby, let me watch you cum on my fingers," he said after he pulled away, moving to rub your clit and finger you at the same time.

"I'm cumming, fuck fuck fuck, Eddieee," You cried out as you dragged his name. The pressure in your lower stomach reached its hilt, making you clench and arch your body as you came undone. You tried to close your legs to press your thighs together except Eddie held them open as he watched you tremble and your legs shake.

"Oh baby, I could watch you all fucking day, every day. My pretty girl, all fucking mine," he said, licking up your cum as you flinch from the sensitivity.

"All yours?" You asked in a breath, and he removed himself from between your legs to stand up.

He stands on your side of the bed and undresses himself, removing his shirt to show his inked skin and your eyes followed his tattooed fingers to his pajama pants, pulling both his pants and boxers down.

Your eyes were glued on his cock, at a loss for words seeing it bob up and down being freed from his clothes. The tip even looked red in this lighting, and you could see a bit of precum coat it. You admired the veins and the length, the way it jerked and how thick he was. You didn't know if you'd be able to take all of him for your first time, but seeing him stand there naked made you even more wet, feeling that same horniness all over again.

You sat up and reached towards him after getting on your knees, and you pull him down on the bed, making your way to straddle his hips with your bare cunt against his shaft.

"Fuck, princess what are you doing?" He asked, grabbing a pillow to put behind his head so he could see you straddling him and slowly moving your hips against him to coat his cock in your wetness.

"I want it like this, wanna take my time," You moaned, kind of nervous to put your hands on his chest to hold up your weight, so you just took your shirt off and kind of rested your hands on your thighs as you grined into him a bit. He just watched as you basically took control.

"Get comfortable baby, put your hands on my chest," He said, almost reading your mind.

"I'm too heavy Eds, I'll literally break your sternum." You joked and he squeezed your bare hips harshly.

"I wasn't asking, pretty girl. Now let me see how you want me, show me," He encouraged, softly smacking your ass as you reluctantly placed your hands on his chest, but not before running over all of his tattoos and his abdomen.

"You're so pretty, Eds. I love looking at you." You murmured, kind of sitting on his cock now. You traced the lines of the different tattoos, then leaned down and started kissing them one by one.

"Fuck, you're gonna kill me, sweetheart," He said as he gripped your bare ass tighter, trying to contain himself as he feels your wetness against him. He couldn't accept the fact that you were naked on top of him, that he was able to move and grope your tits as they rested at their natural position, that he could see all of you.

"Can I put it inside?" You asked, moving your hands to his chest and situating your body further up so you can maneuver and slide him inside of you.

You noticed how your stomach kind of touch his even though you were far from leaning against him, realizing now you're bare naked on top of him, as he is bare naked below you. You weren't self conscious, just very aware of everything but didn't let it stop you. You wanted him and you were going to have him.

"You can do whatever you want with me baby, I'd do anything you tell me to do." He said, watching as you lifted yourself up and grabbed his cock, stifling a groan, and pressing your tip against your hole.

"Will it hurt?" You asked, feeling the pressure and tightness as his tip teased you.

"We don't have to do it like this baby, you can be my pillow princess and I'll do all the work," He said. He wanted you to relax and have nothing to worry about, not wanting to overwork yourself when he can make you feel equally as good without you making yourself uncomfortable.

"No. This is how I want it. Wanna feel you fill me up like this." You said and leaned on your hands that were on his chest, and slowly started to sink onto him. He was going in and out of consciousness practically, hearing you talk like this was so foreign to him but he wanted more of it.

He felt like he was disassociating, you were so enchanting on top of him, so attention grabbing—he was having a hard time trying to focus on your moans when he's watching the way all of you in your glory.

Inch after inch you felt that fullness you craved, making your eyes shut and your mouth hang open as Eddie takes it in. The confidence you had with being on top made him wonder what else you liked, what else you've always wanted to try, anything you've thought about. He wanted to know it all.

He can't even form a single word. Never in his life had he felt someone so wet, so tight, and all for him. He was going to ruin you and you fucking knew it, he wanted to live in this moment forever with you. He wanted to rewatch you sink onto him for the very first time ever. Eddie forced himself to stay still as you took your time adjusting to his length and girth, heavy breathing and panting as you stopped half way.

He let you do what you needed to do, and enjoyed the scene as you rested your hands against his chest and took in a deep, shaky breath.

"I, I just need a minute," You said with your voice wavering, holding yourself still for a few seconds then starting to move your hips up and down slowly on his shaft.

"Fuck, fuuuuck, are you kidding me," Eddie breathed as he watched you slowly ride him, his eyes focused on the way your tits hung in his face and how your pussy was engulfing his cock like a vacuum sealer. His hands went to grope your tits, playing with your nipples as you bounced on him. He just knew your body almost immediately, and you didn't even know it was possible to want him even more.

He loved the way your tummy looked, how your hips looked in this position, the way your thighs tensed under his touch as you rode. Every curve, every roll, every stretch mark he drank it in. You were so plush, so full, and he was in love.

"I, oh my god," You moaned, getting used to the size and the twinge of pain as you tried to speedup the movement, only stopping half way. You knew it'd be too much to try right now, you wanted to feel him stretch you out without too much pain.

"Wait, fuck, wait," He hissed and squeezed your hips, throwing his head back as you wait.

"Are you okay?" You asked and he looked at you with an almost angry look.

"I, I was gonna cum. You're just, fuck, you could tell me you think I'm sexy and I'd cum." He said and smiled. You waited and he finally gave you the greenlight, and this time you decide to sink onto him completely. You needed to feel all of him, to feel him reach your cervix, to feel what it's like to not be a virgin anymore. And you needed Eddie to be the one to experience all of it with you.

"I think you're so sexy, Eddie," you teased as you sunk down on him again, watching him grab your body and tits.

"Oh fuck, Eddie, fuck you're so big," You moaned, sitting completely on him as he hissed and watched as his cock disappeared inside of you.

Another thing he loved was your mouth, and the dirty things you'd tell him while he was inside of you. Eddie was so surprised you wanted him bare, raw, he didn't even know if you were on birth control or had any condoms. But he didn't care.

He felt all of you, he felt you clench and squeeze your walls as you softly bounced on his cock, and he felt himself getting near his release for the second time. But he could only watch you bounce on him for so long before he bends his knees and pushes you to his chest so that your bare chest is against his, and wraps his arms around your waist.

"Let me make you feel good, baby. Let me take what's mine. You're all fucking mine." He repeated in your ear as he began to thrust inside you repeatedly at a steady pace, rough but careful, something that makes you start to feel your build up again. He wanted to remind you that you were his and he was yours, and will always be that way.

"M' yours Eddie, please, I'm yours," you sobbed into his shoulder, feeling him stretch you out and reach inside your guts. It was almost a little painful as he fucked into you from the bottom, but you soon began to love it because it was Eddie.

Eddie was making you feel this way, you made Eddie feel that way, everything about this made you want to keep it for yourself forever. You loved how he held you right now, you loved the way he fit inside you and how he made you feel so sexy being filled up by him. You were unable to even acknowledge your reality, it was just you and him in this moment and that's all that mattered for you.

Eddie wasn't holding back anymore like he did. He simply couldn't, not with feeling how tight and how needy you were for him, how your cries sounded in the silence of your room. He wanted to ruin you but wanted to love you. He felt he could do both, so he did.

"Eddie, Eddie fuck oh my god you feel so fucking good," You cried out and he spanked you.

"Yeah? Fuck baby, this pussy was made just for me. Been my missing piece," He said as the sweat built up on his forehead.

His moans were loud and deep, he groaned every time you clenched your walls as he fucked into you. You couldn't describe the sounds the two of you made together, it was pure pornography. You loved the way Eddie was so vocal with you, you could cum to his voice if you wanted to, and before you'd never even imagine him talking dirty with you.

"You're gonna make me fucking cum, sweetheart." He admitted, hooking his arms under your thighs and lifting his hips up, fucking into you like that so you're limp and fulling depending on him to hold you up.

"Mm, fuck, fuck fuck Eddie, I'm cumming for you, I'm gonna cum," You pleaded, your vision blurring as you felt that rubber band snap inside of you, forcing you to release and cum all over his cock as he kept thrusting inside of you chasing his high.

"Where do you want me to cum, sweet girl?" He asked as he felt your cunt squeeze him, refusing to let him go.

"In me, inside, fill me please, pretty fucking please," You cried as you rode out your high, but the way he kept fucking you even after you cried had you whining and moaning louder than you wanted to be, so you moved your head and bit down on Eddie's shoulder.

"Oh fuck," He groaned, the feeling of your teeth sunken into his skin as he was about to cum made him have an out of body experience, him thrusting a few more times as he painted your walls white while your hips stuttered against his.

Your teeth stay clamped onto his shoulder, his arms resting you back to your original position, his cock still buried inside you and your tits pressed into his chest. Eddie had his head thrown back as he tried to catch his breath, and he was undoubtedly aware that he was still resting inside you as you finally decided to release your bite and press your cheek against his shoulder.

"You bit me?" He asked, his hands resting on your back as he moved them to caress your skin. He rubbed over your back, your rolls, and the top of your ass as his chest hummed against your body.

"Sorry," You said shyly.

"I felt it was better than waking the whole house up," You finished and he chuckled, your body moving with his.

"Don't apologize. Apparently it's a very big turn on from me now, but I think only when you do it. Makes me feel like I did a good job, like I said I get performance anxiety with you," He joked and you smiled against his chest.

"Thank you. I don't think my first time could've been any better," You murmured. You felt your sleepiness creep up on you again and felt almost defeated by it because you didn't even bother to move after laying on top of him.

"Next time, I'm on top." He said and you moved to lift your head so you could look at his pretty face. It was a bit sweaty, but still in a daze of sex and pleasure.

"Whatever you want, I just want to be the only one you're on top of." You said and he stretched his neck to see your face.

"Always, baby. You're mine now, I'm literally never letting you go." He said and kissed the top of your head as you moved your head back to lay on his chest and listen to his heartbeat.

That's how the two of you fell asleep—naked, you laying on top of him, and in your bed, hoping that this turns into more than you say it is.

[alice-after-dark]

One Day I'll Do a Proper Ship Meme But for Now Here Have My Vox Agenda

Thoughts/headcanons/rambles under cut

TW for abusive StaticMoth and Vox having been a bitch to Sir Pentious.

Alastor/Vox - Do I really need to explain this one? Are you new here? I'll just direct you to search "radiostatic" on my blog. I̸͎̝͛́ ̷͙̲̊̄͐l̴̮̲̭̍͌͆ȏ̶̜v̵̞́̑͒̆e̷̡̡͉̰̍̽́ ̷̇͝ͅt̶̡̛̬̖͓̆h̴̠͎̞͕̑e̵͕̼̜̘͆̈́̃̔m̷̤̜̒

Valentino/Vox - Again, unless you're new here, you'll pretty much know my thoughts on them. Check out my "staticmoth" tag and you'll understand.

Charlie - I see so many parallels between these two and I desperately want them to officially interact in season 2. They're on completely opposite ends of the spectrum and aaaahhhhh I just want to see Vox's cynicism clashing with Charlie's idealism and it could be so good you guys. So good. I do also really like the idea of Charlie being the catalyst to Vox realizing just how much he's changed since arriving in Hell (like he used to enjoy the TV scene for the pure creativity of it and now that's all been replaced by the cold corporate greed).

Vaggie - Honestly, I just think it would be interesting. Also I really hope Vaggie doesn't have a carbon-copy reaction to him like she did Alastor. As I mentioned in a previous post, while yes, she might be cautious, she has less of a reason to be so hostile towards him. Plus their mutual dislike of Alastor would be a bonding moment, but also presents an opportunity for Vaggie to find out more about Alastor (albeit from a biased party).

Angel - I've brought up inklings of these two before, but I think them having a very complicated relationship due to their mutual connection and experiences with Valentino would be interesting, especially in regards to how they both handle it in similar yet different ways. They both bury their pain, Angel by leaning into the sexuality, drugs, and alcohol to forget how much he hates it and Vox by refusing to even acknowledge that he's in pain at all. And Vox's refusal to acknowledge it also makes him complicit in Angel's pain as well. He could do something, could try to stop it, but he doesn't to protect himself. I think seeing the two of them try to heal side by side, both from their issues with Valentino and the issues between each other, would be fascinating.

Husk - Knew each other from back when Vox and Alastor were still friends. Husk calls him "kid" (Vox was in his 30s when he died in the 1950s while Husk was in his 60s when he died in the 1970s) which annoys Vox as he doesn't think he's that much younger than Husk to warrant being called a kid. Vox knew him as an Overlord and was very shocked and kind of sad when he found out about Husk losing his soul to Alastor some time after their falling out (just one more thing to embitter him towards the Radio Demon).

Niffty - Anyone who has been on my blog when I started posting about Hazbin Hotel knows it started with these two. I think a dynamic between them would be fun and interesting to explore. Like Husk, she knew him from back when he was friends with Alastor. I like to think that Vox was literally there when Alastor brought her home with him ("What is that?" / "I'm calling her Niffty! Isn't she precious?" / "She is actively biting your arm." / "What a darling little thing!"). He was a little weirded out by her at first, but has since grown to care for her as much as Alastor does. Despite her size and lack of power, Vox fully trusts in her ability to take care of herself...he's seen things that can't be unseen.

Rosie - Vox definitely respects her for her ability to keep such tight control of a horde of bloodthirsty cannibals and actually turn them into a polite society. Despite not being very physically strong, her charisma and drive keep her on top and well respected. I like the idea that he met her through Alastor when they were still friends and though he hasn't really engaged with her too much since the fallout, he does still hold respect for her and frankly won't tolerate anyone disrespecting her. She is the only one outside of the Vees who knows about Vox practicing using his electrokinesis to heal.

Mimzy - They're not exactly friends, but she will not hesitate to approach him if she sees him. It's Mimzy so she absolutely expects special treatment. She's way more up front with him about wanting something than she is with Alastor simply because she knows Vox operates differently than the deer demon. If she wants something, she's gotta be prepared to pay up in some capacity, but Vox is usually willing to be flexible in terms of payment because she has her uses.

Sir Pentious - Okay, so I know this one is a bit awkward cause it would involve Vox actually apologizing to Sir Pentious for the cruel things he said and telling him to unalive himself, but I really think they'd be interesting. They're both innovators and creators and the two of them combining their skills would be both awesome and terrifying. I do think that Sir Pentious, while he does think all the Vees are incredible, idolizes Vox specifically for these exact reasons.

Velvette - They're both bitches, but they love the other for it. Can snark at each other for hours. They're the two who get shit done, even if Velvette can sometimes take her bitchsona a bit too far and Vox has to reign her in. Politics aren't her strong suit, but he can always count on her to take care of the business side of things.

Zestial - Based on my recent post about them, I like the idea that Vox has a respect for Zestial that he doesn't give to most other Overlords (Rosie being the other exception). Sure, he'll play nice and professional with them, but he doesn't truly respect them like he does Zestial and Rosie. I honestly see them having a mutual respect for each other (though Zestial wouldn't say he approves of Vox's choice in colleagues) and we do see in that Zestial can be a little sassy so I 100% believe if Vox had been present during the Overlord meeting in episode 3, Zestial literally would have ignored Velvette entirely to speak to Vox about the angel's death instead (and we all know how much Velvette would have just loved that).

[hestzhyen]

Kagurabachi Chapter 42 Nonsense Takes-

Holy shit. Dear internet void, I'm on the edge of my seat. This CHAPTER man! Several key moments from Ch. 20 are paying off here in a satisfying way.

This time, Hiyuki is the one who wavers when her convictions are contested:

Caught between duty, desire, and her own limitations... not a great feeling is it? She's in the same position now that Chihiro was facing off against her in Ch. 20. I feel like Chihiro's heroics will push her forward much like Hakuri's words did for him. Can't wait to see more of her after this arc and how she reconciles her noble beliefs with the selfish pragmatism of the Kamunabi. Not to mention how she'll manage her pride while reconsidering her rather dismal evaluation of Chihiro from earlier in the chapter.

Speaking of the Kamunabi, though... the older guys who have experienced the horrors of the Seitei war try to be realistic about the situation:

[Shaking Shiba like a maraca] WHAT'S YOUR BACKSTORY MR. OFFSCREEN SORCERER?

They very understandably want to cut their losses and reduce the risk of death for their younger allies. With terrifying artifacts like Magatsumi being necessary, the Seitei War really must have been hell on earth. Better to save what you can than risk losing everything on a bet and all that. I think this will be the meaty, scrumptious crux of the conflict between Chihiro and the Kamunabi whenever he ends up clashing with them in the open. All for the greater good vs. the greatest good for all, pragmatism vs. idealism- I am hype!

And yet the idealistic duo of Chihiro and Hakuri are going to stake their lives on making a miracle. Across the hall, without being able to speak to each other or hear what's being said over the chaos, they still understand what the other is thinking and wants to do. I love these two so much.

Hakuri recalling the conversation with Chihiro during the elevator ride in Ch. 20 when they first met. He knows his samurai's heart.

(Ch. 20 vs 42) Liar, liar, pants on fire. Fakest IDGAFer ever ready to risk his life to save a bunch of strangers, just like he said he wasn't interested in doing.

These. Guys! ARE! THE! BEST!

But there's certainly going to be a price paid for this- the toothpick bidding guy said as much. Chihiro can't win it all, no matter how strongly he feels about having his cake and eating it too. So what's going to get fucked up? Well, pick your poison(s) on how Chihiro's idealism will be tempered:

Chihiro and Hakuri fail to save all the hostages

Hakuri overexerts himself and is incapacitated/dies

The Rakuzaichi isn't ended for good

Magatsumi falls into the wrong hands

Chihiro/Hakuri is/are captured by an enemy

Failure to Save Innocents This scenario is somewhat likely, I think. We're doing Ch. 20 callbacks so may as well go all-in here. It's also been the biggest sticking point this chapter. "We (YOU) can't save everyone." Be pragmatic when weighing good actions vs. the cost of doing them. Understand your limits, work hard, and be ready to cut your losses. Be willing to accept that someone could die. Chihiro struggles with this for obvious reasons. He's a heroic badass, but also a traumatized kid. A human. He's got limits and he's got to acknowledge them at some point. Even if Ms. Inazuma is saved, he might not be able to tag all the captives before Hakuri has to pull him out. This would be absolutely devastating to him as a brutal but very needed wake-up call before he overestimates himself in a situation with higher stakes. And, man... if Chihiro has to come back to Mr. Inazuma and tell the poor kid that he couldn't save his sister... god, that would be awful for everyone. Idealism alone can't save lives, nor wishing for it, nor trying your best. Sometimes you can't save everyone and end up losing everything. I think this is a bit too downer but it's not completely out of the question.

Hakuri Fucking Dies One of the two outcomes here is almost definitely going to happen. I went on a few several thousand-word screeds about Hakuri's significance and how much I love this slightly insane little goober. There's plenty of good reasons to think he'll stay a permanent member of the cast, and if I'm being honest, I think it's a little early for Chihiro to lose an ally. We need a little more time to get attached and invested in the core crew he assembles before one of them is offed. And yet... While I think Shiba's "you'll both die!" line is just to amp up the tension, this...

I will kill everyone at the Rakuzaichi and then myself if anything happens to this kid.

... isn't looking good. At all. Knowing that Hakuri's basically had a full arc at this point means I can't just handwave away the chance he'll be the price Chihiro pays for his naive optimism. Because that's exactly why they're both doing this: Chihiro's expectations for himself are too high and unrealistic. And he's Hakuri's guiding light. Whatever Chihiro wants to accomplish, Hakuri will back him up with everything he has. He's pushing himself too far for Chihiro's sake and we'll all cry if that means he pays the ultimate price.

I think it's most likely that Hakuri will come out of this severely injured, though. Not dead, but close to it and unable to act for a while. It would teach the same lesson without breaking my heart so please, please let this be the variant chosen if Hakuri must be offered up. Protect his smile and give him the chance to learn that he deserves to be loved as he is.

The Rakuzaichi Yet Proceeds So this one would be interesting as hell IMO. There's a case for this due to the fact that, despite reappearing on the stage in the real world, neither Chihiro nor Hiyuki actually touch it. Only Kyoura does.

God I love the perspective shots

A big point was made in Ch. 33 about how inviolable this wooden platform is:

Lotta prestige tied to keeping people off a glorified wooden pallet, but hey what do I know. I'm not a human trafficker or abusive parent brainwashed into serving a merchant cult family.

So even when the whole thing seems poised to come crashing down, Kyoura alone remains worthy to stand on it. And if we don't see any non-Sazanami clan members step on it by the end of the arc, I think that's a signal that things aren't quite done with them yet. Or at the very least, their legacy will live on untarnished despite the head of the family falling in combat. They could become legends in the underworld for maintaining the sanctity of the Rakuzaichi until the very end. Not very wholesome for Team Goldfish, but hey, it's a comparatively small price to pay. I've got a lot of thoughts about what various scenarios would mean, but I'll wait until we actually see what happens before speculating too much. I will, however, do some Hakuri agendaposting while I'm here though!

I would find it incredibly tasty if Hakuri managed to stand on the stage at the very end somehow. Just for one last hearty "fuck you" to his sperm donor, you know? And to satisfy the part of my monkey brain that loves total vindication. The "worthless" kid who was instrumental in bringing down his family standing in the sacred zone he was supposed to protect, but was deemed unworthy of... that he rejects wholeheartedly while being the first since the progenitor to inherit both signature sorceries... yesssss. Especially considering this:

RIP Tenri, gone too soon

I go feral for stuff like this. Hakuri is the Special Boy. He deserves the moment, if he can figure out a way to get there before he collapses after helping Chihiro.

Magatsumi Goes MIA Once More I think this is the most likely price to be paid. Chihiro's heroics will cause him to miss out on recovering the Super Evil Sword, which could end up just about anywhere at this point. Recovered by the Kamunabi, the Hishaku clan swooping in to take it, the wielder using Kyoura's body to abscond with it to parts unknown... anything's possible! But probably not Team Goldfish escaping into the night with it. Saving people at the cost of missing his big chance to recover his father's "masterpiece" seems like an appropriate setback for Chihiro right now. It'll throw his plans into disarray and really force him to look at his priorities and strategies thus far. Team Goldfish are mighty but they can't take on two massive orgs like the Kamunabi and Sazanamis at once, especially if the Hishaku are meddling. He'll get his reality check and prepare to make hard choices in the future. Save everyone, every time, and chase the blades forever? Or entertain a slightly less idealistic mindset to better the chances of success? Very tantalizing potential here, yes yes. It also ties in nicely with the main talking point of this chapter- much better than losing an ally would, at any rate.

Capturiffic Times I think this is the least likely given the circumstances, but may as well mention it just in case. Both Chihiro and Hakuri are worn down to their last dregs and aren't in a position to fend off anyone that could come at them. Maybe Hiyuki decides to capture Chihiro to take him to the Kamunabi instead of killing him, while Shiba retreats with Hakuri? Or Hakuri is captured by the Kamunabi/remaining Sazanamis while Shiba prioritizes escaping with Chihiro? Shiba gives himself up to let Chihiro and Hakuri run? Again, seriously doubt this scenario. They might not get out in one piece or with everything they hoped for, but I'm pretty sure that Team Goldfish will be able to flee to fight another day.

Anyway. Yapped too much again. Thank you void for letting me ramble into your uncaring ear once more. See you next week, probably.

[demon-country]

I've read a lot of great meta on here about Blitz's pov around the roleplay thing and his need for processing time following that, which he did not get. And I love Blitz to death, he's tied with Stolas as my favorite character and honestly I relate a lot to him, so it's been a huge relief that I've seen so many posts that are fair and sympathetic to him and everything he did, including his anger at the end there. He's an incredibly nuanced character who has been deeply traumatized, and all of his actions in The Full Moon make perfect sense when you put his specific traumas and trust issues together with his avoidance of anything that might make their relationship "complicated", up to and including his own feelings and the mere idea that maybe all the ways he's noticed Stolas showing that he's interested in more than just sex means that Stolas is interested in more than just sex.

That being said, I don't agree with the argument that Stolas was in the wrong for not giving Blitz time to process his confession before walking away. Sure, maybe that's not the ideal response speaking as an outsider looking in, but of course he didn't stick around, practically no one would've. Even without all the evidence he had that Blitz might reject him, even without his depression and fears that he's a monster, it is soul crushing to confess something important that leaves you vulnerable, and have it be (seemingly) mocked by a person whose opinion matters a lot to you.

And I get why Blitz did it, I'm not trying to put the blame on him or anything; it was very clearly a defense mechanism influenced largely by his self-esteem issues and inability to believe people could love him (the light literally leaves his eyes when the doubt creeps in and that fucking kills me). But there's hardly anyone who wouldn't cut and run after that. If Blitz had asked for time, demanded Stolas explain, or even just ran away himself, Stolas very likely would have gladly given him the time he needed to process. Stolas' part of the duet shows that he was expecting rejection even if he forced himself to believe there was hope he might have a positive reaction, so Blitz saying "wait what? Hold on, are you serious?" to start with wouldn't have been a bad thing to Stolas, because at least it's not a flat out no. But by the time he does get around to asking that, it's too late. Because we've seen that Stolas has had his feelings mocked before by Stella, his decades-long abuser, so it must have cut even deeper for Blitz to seemingly make fun of him when he poured his heart out to him.

Almost no one likes to cry in front of other people, because it feels awful and humiliating, and even less people would feel okay doing it in front of someone who just hurt them. Stolas very politely excused himself, even thanked Blitz, and left to probably go cry his guts out. But Blitz followed him. He understandably wanted to talk about things, but the fact is he just really hurt Stolas. It's completely fair for Stolas to not want to talk to him right then after his feelings were just trampled over, because he needed space even if Blitz needed to talk. Blitz didn't mean any harm by his roleplay bit, because he didn't believe Stolas was serious, but his actions were still hurtful. Blitz had every right to ask Stolas to stop and talk things through with him, and his abandonment trauma was already in full affect by that point, but Stolas also had every right to walk away when his own abuse trauma had just been triggered hard.

The whole situation was, start to finish, one big horrible clashing of trauma responses, which only got worse in the ballroom. So I'm not saying that Blitz was "in the wrong" here either, it certainly wasn't malicious, and moreover he didn't even know Stolas could be hurt emotionally. But holy hell, pretty much any reaction would have been better than (accidentally) making a mockery of Stolas' feelings after his confession. There's probably not a person alive who would take that well if it came from someone they loved. It probably would have hurt Stolas less if Blitz had actually stabbed him with a holy knife, given the way Stella had abused him in the past. It was never about Stolas expecting Blitz to reciprocate his feelings right away, it was about how viscerally awful it feels to put your heart on the line and have your feelings be made fun of, accidental or not.

They both fucked up in this situation, there's no denying that. Stolas was clearly using a script to power through a nerve-wracking interaction, but it was poorly worded at first and he tripped over several of Blitz's trauma landmines as a result, accidentally making him panic. But walking away when he did and later kicking Blitz out were not him fucking up. He definitely could have said something like, "I don't want to talk right now, you really hurt me and I'm very upset. Please come back later and we can talk then" or something in the hall instead of what he actually said which was easily misconstrued, to make Blitz know why he was leaving, but not many people would think to do that when they're that upset, they just want to get away from whoever hurt them.

So no, even though it ended with both of them in tears and even more hurt on both sides, I don't think it was wrong of Stolas to walk away when he did, especially because he did try to explain himself as Blitz followed him (he just wasn't like, great with his wording. Understandable really, most people aren't super articulate when they're deeply upset). And probably it was even a good thing he did, in the end, because it finally clued Stolas into the fact that how he's been treating imps needs to change. I dunno, it's just something I haven't seen talked about yet, and thought it was worth saying.

[prismonautic]

casting targeted spells - intent is not always impact.

this is a discussion of boundaries, intentions, unintentional harm, etc stemming from the spell i've recently created called alia's blessing.

in order to get the depth of this discussion, i recommend clicking HERE to read the mythos and the spell in question.

anyways, if you're reading past this point, i assume that you've went through all the context needed for this discussion so i'll speak as if you have. if you're confused, please re-read.

alright, this is post is piggy-backing off the recent spell i just posted — alia’s blessing, where alia inadvertently casts a spell to bless her sister with happiness and comfort through her artwork. in alia’s artwork, she formed the spell to make her sister comfortable in the way that she wished to see back.

the main question is, while her intentions for tash to become happy and at peace were coming from a place of wellmeaning (and maybe a bit of nostalgia, pain, etc.. keep in mind that alia created the artwork as a coping mechanism to what she BELIEVED was tash burning out due to work) — is the impact of that spell being cast on tash equally ideal?

we know how alia feels about the spell, but what about tash? does she like that? does she want it?

depending on what tash’s view of happiness is and how aligned alia’s blessing is with tash’s ideals.. it depends.

if tash’s ideals of happiness and peace were completely different than what alia thought it would be (e.g - she feels burdened by family, that none of this should be her responsibility, it should have turned out differently, she wants to break away from her current life…) "alia’s blessing" will have easily turned into "alia’s suffocating binding spell" against tash."

if tash’s ideals clash with alia’s, the “blessing” descending may feel more like a curse depending on how it manifests in her life.

right now, you may be like:

“nini what’s the point of this discussion rah rah all she was doing was sending positive energy to her sister there’s nothing wrong with wishing someone well” — girl what i’m trying to point out is that AGAIN, what you see as good may not always be as good for other people.

if you were running a village and passing laws that you believe are benefiting your people -- and your people are screaming to you that these wellmeaning laws are hurting them, are you going to keep suffocating them because you think that it is right? there's a thin line between being a caring person vs. being a smothering restrictive force.

when i write these mythos for my spells, i like to leave them open-ended so you can fill in the potential gaps and see how things could not only go well, but also go terribly wrong if proper caution isn’t taken.

it's up to you to interpret what happens to tash as a result of the spell off-screen. did it hurt her? did it help her? your answers provide insight into how compatible this spell is for your current situation.

so… continuing on, how does this apply to you?

respectfully, please make sure you’re checking yourself and checking in with Spirit before you start targeting people in spells bc like.. girl.

even if you’re meaning well, you could very much be interfering with some shit that you have no business touching + get a backfires from HELL because of it.

your best and safest bet in ANY type of spell where you’re involving another person… ask them for their permission! if they say yes, go along with no worries knowing that everything should be smooth as butter. this is likely to happen with lovers, close friends/relatives who are open to your form of prayers for them.

if they say no, this is your first warning to re-examine where you’re coming from when it comes to trying this spell. is your ideal of their happiness restrictive / a projection of what makes you comfortable? does it center your happiness, or theirs?

if you’re leaning towards your intentions being selfish — perhaps water it down to something more general, such as wishing wellbeing as opposed to specifics like “they live like this, they live like that..” again, if it’s something that they wouldn’t want boosted then don’t do it. also, don't assume that you know what they want 100%. you'd be surprised about how people feel about things deep down.

and for some reason, if you’re not able to get a voice of opinion from the target .. bare minimum, divinate and consult your spirit team to see if this is a worthwhile venture to invest your energy into. whatever divine guidance you use, you should be able to get a clear verdict on how to move forward and what to avoid.

so if we were to draw a conclusion to this post...

magic is grey. magic just IS. there's no "dark" or "light" magic really -- especially considering that the so-called darkness could be used to liberate others and give solace to the vulnerable, and the so-called light could be used to control, restrict, and perpetuate certain dogmas -- just because it's under the guise of "love and light" doesn't mean it's good for you or someone else, lol.

please, use discernment in any spell you pick up regardless of how it's marketed to you. think deeply about the potential effects of the energy you're sending out, and know the energy you're interacting with before even trying to meddle with it. literally i'm just asking y'all to move with some sense instead of shooting spells willy-nilly just cuz you can.

nobody is stopping you from throwing out spells like candy, but if you end up finding out after fucking around i don't got much to tell ya but "damn that's crazy."

so like... in the meanwhile, don't die my friends.

prismo, signing off.

[crystalelemental]

Shifting gears, there is another game I finished playing a few weeks ago actually. I didn't talk about it because at the time, my intent was to complete the other routes and then discuss in more depth. That is not happening. Game's long, I needed a break, we're talking about just the one I did.

Shin Megami Tensei V Vengeance! I have...a complicated history with this particular series. It's short history, but still complicated. A high school friend I hope to never see again was super into it, and convinced me to give it a try when the newest one, SMT4, came out. I hated it. I can't even tell you all the reasons I hated it because I barely remember anything about it. Could not name a character, could not tell you anything about the story. I do remember feeling like the difficulty was bullshit, and being mad that cool monster designs had to go away because early demons don't keep up anymore, but the point is I have not looked favorably upon it.

"So why they hell did you buy another one?" This is going to sound insane, but I was playing Digimon Cyber Sleuth/Hacker's Memory and some of the setup and structure pinged as like...oh man, this is how I was supposed to approach that old SMT game. I bet I could play those and be good at them now! I also kinda blame @sinisteapot for posting a gifset of Agrat around that time. I know what I'm about. So I decided hey, if I find a copy, I'll give it a shot. And wouldn't you know it, games were actually in stock at GameStop for once. Sometimes miracles do happen.

I actually asked sinisteapot about the game prior to buying, and was told that it's mostly running around the desert listening to really good music, and kinda went "Okay, so it's a bit open ended like." What I was not ready for was 90 hours of a single route because I kept fucking around in the desert listening to really good music. Seriously, have you heard this shit? I think I spent two days worth of hour-long commute to and from work with just this one on repeat after reaching this zone. The music is very good.

Plot and character-wise, I actually had a pretty good time. I don't have a ton to say, in part because I only did one route out of apparently six, but I do like the characters we meet. Tao is my girl, I find her absolutely fascinating. Yoko's fun and honestly the funniest character in the game, always a treat when I jokingly say "kill them" when talking about there only being one way to deal with bullies and that's exactly what the character says. I actually find Dazai interesting despite him being kind of a piece of shit? Like, I had pegged Atsuta as the one about to go off the deep end about needing to be strong above all else, only for Dazai to be the one to snap about power being justice and whatever. Did not expect it to be him right away but the progression tracks.

For context, the route I cleared was Canon of Vengeance Law. It works out pretty neat for the most part. I really liked what the game was doing all through the Qadistu sequences. My wife played Canon of Creation instead, and honestly a lot of the sections feel hollow without their presence, it's just not quite as fulfilling? That said, I feel like the final area kinda drops off a bit. It's less interesting without the Qadistu, we kinda backpedal into the Lucifer stuff despite him not being present or significant at all for the game thus far, we kinda lose track of Mastema despite him being set up as a problem, and they killed Nuwa off-screen which is bullshit. I do like that the decision between Tao and Yoko at the end is made for you based on all your decisions to that point, and I greatly appreciate that the two of them stand completely opposed without it being like...I don't know the word I want to use here, but it's nice that they like each other as people. They're not just constantly antagonistic and awful and you have to pick the waifu or whatever. You're kinda just around while they have their clash of ideals. Which is nice.

But forget that nerd shit! It's time to finally answer the question of whether all these years have made me good at SMT!

No. They did not. I turned the difficulty down to Easy at the Namaah/Glasya-Labolas fight in Tokyo. I couldn't do it. I think I could now, but I couldn't at the time. I do have a bit more familiarity with its game, and I think I can talk intelligently about it, but...I am not good at it. I actually couldn't beat the superboss of the menorah quest. I couldn't do it. Like, could not. I tried and just got my shit blasted repeatedly. I have one idea, but...I'm not about to do it.

Anyway! The Press Turn system is neat. Each party member gets one action, but you gain more actions by striking an enemy weakness or landing a critical hit. Press Turns work by setting up your four blue circles. Getting an extra turn makes one flash, while not landing one consumes the left-most circle, flashing or otherwise. What means means is, your first and third slot need to land those conditions to get the full 8 turns, the other two can be more support-centric. As a result, I had my Nahobino set up with elemental coverage, and a third demon who did basically the same for most of the game. Agrat wound up my second slot because she can crit magic and hits 12 times with her signature move, which is great odds for another action, while my fourth was the sort of pure support.

However, you can also lose turns! When you miss, or an enemy negates an element, you lose not just your action turn, but another turn as well. If the enemy reflects or absorbs, you lose your entire round. I really like this system, because it makes AoE magic a serious consideration. There are several bosses and considerations where you want the AoE effect to hit the multiple targets in tandem, but there are several situations where you might aim for a weakness in a cluster, hit the AoE, only to find one enemy can negate it. The negation takes priority. Which means AoE, unlike most games where the AoE is a straight improvement over single-target, this game actually makes both valuable. Meanwhile, missing is absolutely devastating, and it makes the buff/debuff to both Accuracy and Evasion as a single stat incredibly powerful. This might be the only time I don't completely hate evasion mechanics in a game, because there's a sense of cost/benefit, and means of mitigating those detriments.

For most of the game, elemental damage felt ideal. Almost everything has a weakness, and as long as you're willing to use Spyglass to reveal the full enemy profile, you'll be fine. In fact, using items is hugely important here. Spyglass also reveals their attacks, so you can change up your party to not be weak to the elements they're throwing around. With the right spread, you can go from getting stomped to completely blasting the boss away. With the ability to apply another demon's traits to your own, you can really get crafty with your approach.

But. The last like two or three hours feel like the game suddenly pivots on a dime, into situations where enemies are immune to basically everything. And now your intended solution is Almighty damage. Which...generally fine? I guess? But truth be told, it feels like late-game Nahobino wants to go Strength. Your best Almighty attack is a high crit Strength-based attack. While your best magic move is great and pierces so no one can steal your turns, that means a lot less when you can't crit with it or strike a weakness. So you really shift into wanting to crit all the time, and the entire spread of skills feels like it needs reworked. I also got to learn that 99 is apparently not the stat cap. So my decision to evenly spread my stats was, in fact, ill-advised. Oops? You can adjust your stat allocations, and this combined with another full playthrough to get High Almighty Pleiroma again was my solution to that superboss, but it feels like more than I want to deal with.

I also feel like it's a bit mean to have the shop never sell MP recovery items. Maybe this is skill issue, but I feel like I am constantly running out of MP at every boss fight, even easier ones that we had no trouble with. My damage output was just never impressive at any point. Maybe I set myself up wrong, I honestly don't know. I think the fact this game is pretty open-ended and lets you explore a lot is the only reason I can beat it. You get a lot of these...magatama things, that will drop money, glory, or instant level items for you or your demons, and I got...quite a few for me. So I was at least a little overleveled the entire game, because I'd get all those resources and be really insistent on completing the demon compendium. But hey, at least I can over-level to solve a problem? I appreciate it. Though I like to think by the end I had it; I beat Shiva's optional quest like 8 levels below him, that has to count for something, right?

As for the demons...okay, look. I am still a bit sad about how they fall off. I attached really hard to demons like Mermaid and Muu Shuwuu, and they just...cannot keep up forever. Which is lame. I did always find someone new, and at least by Agrat I could just Grimoire her to keep up. But it is at least slightly frustrating to me that many of my favorites are like...temporarily good and then need to be fused off. I also don't love that there are "accident-specific" fusions that are completely random. I couldn't get a single one despite my best efforts. My compendium will never be finished.

The broad takeaway is that I actually had a lot of fun. This is a really interesting game that I...wish I had more to say about? I dunno, it's weird. I like it, I had a good time, but I struggle to find anything particularly clever to say about it? Maybe that's fine. I'm overthinking things again. Good game, fun time.

[pxrtalchopped]

So Shell Feed

four: ✧ connections

sᴜᴍᴍᴀʀʏ: ᴛʜᴇ ᴛᴜʀᴛʟᴇs sʜᴏᴡ ʏᴏᴜ ᴀʀᴏᴜɴᴅ ᴛʜᴇ ʟᴀɪʀ, ᴀɴᴅ ʏᴏᴜ ᴄᴏɴɴᴇᴄᴛ ᴛᴏ ᴇᴀᴄʜ ᴏɴᴇ ɪɴ ʏᴏᴜʀ ᴏᴡɴ ᴡᴀʏ. ᴀʟsᴏ, ʟᴇᴏ's ғᴀᴄᴇ ɪs ᴘʀᴏʙᴀʙʟʏ ғᴜᴄᴋᴇᴅ.

parts: one || two || three || four (you’re here!)

        You ended up having to buy another pizza.

        Initially, you were against this verdict. It wasn't your fault the pizza dropped! I mean it was, you most definitely dropped it, but it's because you were shocked at seeing giant mutant turtles!

        Totally within reason and therefore a proper excuse to not be held accountable for a $10 pizza.

        But you digress and paid for it anyway. Your phone was in the hands of a pizza-starved purple turtle, after all, and one tiny box was not going to be enough to satisfy all four of these guys.

        As April left to go fetch the pizza, you were shown around "the lair", as they called it, by three of the four turtles. Donatello immediately left you four the moment your precious phone's life was put into his three-fingered hands.

        Although you were nervous without April, you felt that strange sense of comfort around them again (something you thought happened pretty often when you interacted with this group - whether online or in person today) so your nerves were easily soothed as the trip among this VERY large 'home' continued.

        It brought that very thought to the forefront of your mind: meeting these four, as well as April, and even going to their hideout - all happened in the span of a few hours.

        It was probably nearing the 8:30 mark by now, and you winced. Yes, your mother trusted you to take care of yourself, and being away for a few hours never necessarily meant a big deal since you kept often communication with her, but it was also New York.

        That, and the fact that there have been rumors going around ever since that one popular chef was 'mysteriously transformed into a hideous beast' that there's been a bug-carried disease or something riddling the city itself.

        'Is that what happened to these guys?'

        Mikey's arm was tightly hooked around yours, and you could tell he was physically restraining himself from jumping and pulling you around to every location with excitement.

        The grin on his face was so wide, that it instantly lifted your mood as well.

        How did you know? Leo made sure to comment on how radiant your smile was.

        'You don't have to hide how excited you are to finally meet me, y'know,' were his exact words.

                You wanted to reply with 'we met less than 12 hours ago,' but you thought he was funny, so you went along with it anyway.

        As for Raphael - although he hadn't volunteered or offered to follow you guys around the lair, he most definitely was there.

        Definitely failing at 'spying' on you - not that it could've been helped. His stature and color scheme clashed too heavily with his attempts to hide behind humorously smaller items than him.

        "Since you've already familiarized yourself with the living room, I wanna show you the more exciting places of our humble abode!" Mikey grinned, "Starting with my FAVORITE place, the graffiti room!"

        Leo had a mischievous smile on his face, although the twitch in his eye made it evident that following around to whatever the 'graffiti room' was didn't meet his exact ideals.

        You watched him with a curious glint in your eye, but you sped up with the orange-clad turtle because honestly, you were just as excited to see graffiti as he was to show you.

        Mikey pulled you along a hallway lit in neon and blacklights, and part of you wondered how the hell these guys could pay for any form of an electric bill.

        Posters of retro Lou-Jitsu movies littered the dull cement walls, and near the bottom of said walls were doodles that looked to be in paint markers, and dated chalk of messy scribbles and tiny hand prints.

        The floor held a story, too. The same paint colors were splotched on the floor with little footprints and splatters. Someone made a mess whenever those were painted.

        You had a feeling you knew who all those little footprints belonged to, and although it seemed cute, a sympathetic pang hit deep in your heart.

        But you didn't have time to stop and analyze anything from the hallway, anyway.

        There wasn't a door, as the halls were sewer caverns, respectfully, but it did lead to another opening for a manhole.

        Once more, it was a room with a giant ladder that you assumed led up to another alleyway. Except this area was considerably less lit near the roof.

        More interestingly, though, it was the most gorgeous room you think you've ever seen.

        Paintings littered their way up to a good 3/4th of the entire ladderway, and they seemingly got more professional the higher up they went.

        "This is the room I've frequented the most in my childhood," Mikey informed you with a proud grin, "here, look! You can see how bad I was at drawing when I just started out. I was like four or something, but I've always held a love for drawing!"

        He scurried over to the lowest part of the ladderway, showing you the doodles 'Lil' Mike' drew in his youngest days.

        They were hard to make out, but the colors kind of reminded you of the brothers so you assumed he took most of his inspiration from his family back then.

        It was adorable.

        "After being introduced to comic books and movies - that's when I really started getting into it. I actually did some studies, too!"

        His hands gently ran themselves over the drawings, and he constantly looked from his drawings back to your cheerful expressions, as if he nervously gauged your reaction to his pieces; young to old.

        Your mouth was agape in a jovial wonder. "Mikey, you did all of this?" your voice raised in octaves, awe showing through every word, and it made him elated.

        Those honey-brown eyes of his shone with a giddy sparkle, unlike anything you've ever seen. "I did! Do you like it?"

        You made your way to climb up the ladder, eyes never leaving the beautiful pieces of art surrounding you.

        It was clear he had practiced many forms of art, but his favorite was graffiti, cartoon, and pop art. It was crazy to you, how talented he was.

        "Mikey, this is amazing!" you exclaimed, "look at the detail - the lining is so clean! You're an artist! Now I see how you got your name, aye?"

        Hopping off the ladder, you turned back to the turtle. He was busy wiping his tears off with his wristbands. "I can't show my art anywhere except on the So Shell, so it really means a lot that you like it!" He sheepishly chuckles.

        "Sorry, I'm a little overwhelmed!"

        You walked up to him with a small smile, "no worries, dude! I think it's so amazing, I can tell you really love drawing! You got any sketchbooks I can see?"

        The genuine interest in his craft made him gasp absurdly loud - and even louder, he screamed, "oh DO I - "

        All before Leo finally managed to speak up, patting Mikey's shoulder 'sympathetically,' whilst speaking, "Oh buddy it'll take AGES for you to get out of that - mmmm'nother time? 'Nother place? We still gotta show them MY favorite spot!"

        Unbeknownst to you, Leo had been patiently waiting for you to have your undivided attention on him.

        And seeing as he didn't want his first impression with you to be overly narcissistic and rude, he tried his best to compose himself from any sassy remarks and let Mikey have his little moment.

        But the praising and joking around with Mikey was... well, safe to say he got a little jealous.

        You were a new friend and it already looked like you were gonna find a real liking to his younger brother, but he'd hoped that he would have been able to snag you as his best friend, like how April and Donnie became so attached to the hip.

        He wanted a partner in crime so baaaad!! So forgive him, okay? He can still impress you, just wait till he takes you to THE spot.

        "Alright, Mikester, Raph-a-doodle - " You watched the looming, big shadow in the corner of the room jump as... attention was brought to it - "let's kindly take our guest towards the r - a - m - p, shall we?"

        ....Did he think you couldn't spell? Ramp. He spelled ramp. Were you not supposed to know that he wanted to take you to some ramp? Was this an acronym? You were so confused!

        Shaking your head, you sped up to match Leo's speed - this boy had legs, after all, and he could move quickly. Maybe it was the 'ninja' part of them Mikey's been informing you about.

        Leo, although making long strides, was pretty calm, and a lazy smile fell on his half-lidded gaze. His arms were crossed behind his head, allowing him to rest on them ever slightly. Although he didn't show it, a jolt of nervousness ran through his spine when you walked up next to him.

        Oh, right. He's probably supposed to talk like Mikey did, right? Better not let his little brother get the chance to sweep you off your feet again.

        "As I'm sure you're aware, our cozy little casa is a treasure trove filled with endless entertainment - as very much needed and deserved for the heroes of the city, after all," he began.

        You had no idea what he was talking about. Heroes of the city? What exactly have they done?

        You didn't ask to elaborate, and he continued anyway. "But there's one particular room that stands out among all others - and it's this one," he spoke in a leading voice, similar to an announcer for some wrestling match, and his arms outstretched as you turned the corner of the corridor.

        A giant opening was there. And you only wished that giant was an exaggeration.

        At the very bottom floor - where you currently resided - was a giant skate ramp. Next to it, laying half-hazardly, were color-coordinated boards. And they were pretty beat up, which meant they were loved? You guessed?

        You never really used skateboards.

        In all honesty, it was beautiful. There was floor after floor, once again leading to the city's streets at the very top - but here it was like the main directory for any location of the sewers you could have possibly wanted.

        Seriously, can you live here? You were positive there was more than enough room.

        "Woaaaah....!" another gasp left your lips, and it made Leo's ego do somersaults.

        "Yeah-hah-haaah, baby! Right here is the prime place to be for good times. This is where the real magic happens."

        Whilst the red-eared slider spoke, Mikey ran up alongside him to go fetch their boards.

        You noticed Raph didn't bother to hide himself in this room, not like he had any place to hide in here anyway, and took this time to walk up and talk with him.

        Shortly after the first introductions, you were informed that Raphael was the oldest of the four; then came Leo and Donnie, being the same age and referred to as 'the disaster twins,' and the youngest of the brothers being Michelangelo, naturally.

        "All of this is... incredible, how did you guys manage to put so much... well, stuff down here? It looks so... cozy. Like the teenage dream," you gushed to him.

        He hadn't been spying on you in any way to be offensive, and you knew that. He was the oldest child, and he loved his brothers. He just wanted to make sure you were okay - over-protective or overtly suspicious he may be. And you respected it, you admired it, even.

        For this reason, you'd expected him to have been at least a little bit harsh or maybe even withhold talking about personal stuff with you so early on into your relationship. You've still only known everyone for only a few good hours, after all. However, he was more than comfortable talking to you as if you were another friend.

        "It took a long time, for sure. A lot of this stuff was brought in only a few years ago since we finally had the strength and teamwork to enhance our home," he explained.

        "But back when we were kids, there were only a few rooms that pops cared to decorate."

        "Pops?" you asked with a curious tilt to your head.

        Raph let out a chuckle at your display. "Yeah. Master Splinter. He's not here right now, and I can't tell you why," a brow-like crease of his mask indicated an apologetic expression from him, and again, you understood the secrecy, so you shrugged to let him continue, "but he's the one that took care of us when we didn't have anyone. It's part of why we live down here."

        He lifted his gaze back up to his two brothers, "... But I think, back then, he needed us. Just as much as we needed him. He's not exactly a human, either. All we had was this family, but somehow, we were enough. And I don't think any of us would have wanted it any other way, y'know?"

        Midway through his little chat with you, his voice softened. Like he was pondering over the words he spoke to you, or maybe just took a moment to live in those words. A fondness showed through his eyes. Something of a look that you could only see in the eldest child.

        It hurt your heart. You wished you shared that connection with your siblings.

        "It's really touching to hear the kinda love you guys have for each other," it was your turn to speak softly, and you also turned your head to watch the two brothers set up their gear.

        "____, watch me hit this super cool air flip, alright? Mikey, cheer me on dude!"

        Leo's voice wavered in the distance (the ramp was REALLY tall), and he waved for your attention from the top of the half-pipe.

        You gave him a thumbs up and he grinned, noticing your attention. Mikey cheered him on with utmost passion.

        You quietly continued. "It's hard to see that kind of bond in humans, these days. We tend to leave that kind of stuff behind in favor of things like success, or physical desires," your arms crossed, matching Raphael's pose unintentionally.

        "But despite this day in age, I think Master Splinter did good teaching you all how important the bond between a family is..." you paused, thinking carefully with a small frown. "... A real family."

        Raphael noticed your correction, but all he did to react was simply give you a curious side-eye, not wanting to offend you by asking about it.

        A smile grew on his lips as his brother successfully started the routine for his special move. "It's something we're still learning ourselves, and it isn't easy. But it's worth the trouble."        

        As for Leo, currently picking up speed for his wicked airtime, sweat was trickling down his neck.

        Why did he do this? Why did he specifically bring this super hard trick shot to your attention, knowing that his success rate was literally in the 30s with this jump?

        If he misses it means a one-way ticket straight to crashtown, bruises all over his face, a completely ruined reputation and first impression, and endless embarrassment that he will never live down.

        He had to make this trick.

        Mikey's encouragement wasn't doing much to help the underlying panic, but it did well to keep a confident (enough) looking grin on the Slider's face.

        'This is it, Leo, now or never, the one trick to seal that best friend status with ___! Don't mess this up!'

        '.....What are you thinking, Leonard? You? Messing up? That's not biologically in your nature...!'

        He took the flip into the air,

        " - guess who's back with the pizza!"

        and flailed, lost his footing, and face slammed directly into the ramp, pathetically sliding down it in a muddled heap of an embarrassed turtle.

        'FUCK.'

        Luckily, you hadn't seen that horrible, embarrassing mess! The moment April's words spoke, you turned away from Leo soaring in the air to the brunette and trotted over without thinking.

        "April, you're back! Oh, sorry, Leo, did I miss it?!"

        Before you turned back towards the ramp, Leo made a lightning-quick recovery and stood straight, leaning slightly on the wobbling board with his head turned to the ground, rendering it impossible for you to see his face.

        He pressed a hand against his mouth, yawning loudly and dramatically to cover-up, "huh? Oh, yeah, you did, you really shoulda seen it! But it's fine, I'm actually a bit exhausted anyway so I might have to wait another time to build the energy for another one of those trick shots. Hey, I'm gonna go check on Donnie, I'll see you guys later!"

        And then he left.

        .....And then, you finally had time to process what just went down.

        You muttered a small, "uhhh... okay! Sorry about that! Another time then," and turned back to April, who shared another confused look with you.

        "Boys." She simply stated.

        Leo wasn't actually going to Donnie's lab. Instead, he went straight to his room down in the abandoned subway and splashed himself with cold water.

        His left cheek was swollen, and he could feel it panging, but looking in the mirror he noticed that he didn't look too bad.

         Maybe he could get away with a clever excuse.

        If she saw how horrible that drop was, he probably would have died. Thank the heavens for giving those four April.

        He whimpered pathetically and sat down on his bed.

        'Now what can I do? I ran away, giving the rest of them all the time they needed to sweep ____ of their feet!'

        He brought a hand to his forehead, rubbing his temples in annoyance. If only you made that stupid trick shot, Leonard.

        'This is where the real magic happens,' yeah right.

        ....Magic.....

        Turning his head to the side, his gaze met the Mystic Sword resting against the door.

        He grinned.

        You, Raphael, April, and Mikey decided to chill out in the kitchen and chow down on some pizza. Meanwhile, you asked about their hidden lives.

        "So how did you guys end up meeting? Were you just as shocked as I was, April?"

        April laughed at the question, wiping tomato sauce off the side of her lip before she could answer.

        "I was really young, I think I was about 11 or 12 when I met them. But I grew up watching movies with aliens in them, y'know? And that's what they kind of looked like to me when I first saw them."

        You could hear Mikey and Raph groan at being compared to 'aliens,' but April continued.

        "So I don't think I was entirely thrown aback, being a kid super into the idea that aliens were real... actually, I'm pretty sure they were more terrified of me than I could ever be of them!"

        "That's true," Raph laughed, bashfully scratching at his cheek. "Master Splinter always warned us about being seen by humans. When we were really young, he said it's because they would've kidnapped and experimented on us, and we really believed it!"

        Raph and his baby brother laughed as if they figured it was some myth that had no chance of coming true.

        A drop of sweat rolled down your forehead, and you and April spared a glance at each other from the corner of your eyes.

        You let out a laugh through clenched teeth.

        As Raph's laughter died down, you spoke again before he could catch on to your nervous expression.

        "Dads, am I right? No matter the species they always wanna spook their kids, hahaha!"

        "Fo-real, I thought April was totally gonna go mad scientist on us!" Mikey added, "we already had enough of that with Donnie's experiments back then!"

        You caught the 'we still do,' grumble that April and Raph let out, and it made you giggle.

        "It sounds like all of you had a really exciting childhood, I'm kinda jealous," you teased. They all beamed at you.

        "Are you kidding? If anything, we're jealous of you!"

        "I know for one, it was always Donnie's biggest dream to attend school," Raphael explained.

        "We never got to go outside for more than half of our lives. Of course, we did it anyway, but there was always an underlying fear of how humans would treat us in the open."

        You couldn't help but frown. He was right to be scared - Splinter was right to teach him that, too.

        "....On the bright side, it looks like you're pretty good at picking out the good ones." April gave Raph a joking smile, giving you the opportunity to see a bright grin from the oldest.

        A beep sounded from April's watch, causing everyone to turn their heads toward her.

        "Oh, looks like Donnie's finished with your phone, ____."

        "Already?!" you yelped. "I haven't even been here for two hours!"

        The three laughed in a tone that said 'you have no idea,' and followed you out of the kitchen.

        It was time for you to finally see Donnie's lab.

        Donatello's lab had a massive door - one with several authorizations and passcodes that gave you a headache just after one look.

        Luckily his brothers noticed your visible distress, and Mikey was quick to press his hand against the scanner.

        "Who is it?"

        "It's your faaaavorite brother!"

        "Oh, come in, Mikey."

        "What?!" Raph yelled.

        Mikey giggled, turning his head around with a shit-eating grin to taunt Raph's offended demeanor, and cockily marched through the opening doors.

        You quickly followed behind him, then April, then a moping Raph.

        "I see you've come to retrieve your cellular device," Donatello didn't even bother to look at you, eyes closed as he smugly grinned, "prepare to be enraptured by my awesome tech-skills - no need to thank me, I know, I'm great."

        You wanted to punch his smug little face but he was right. And if there was any kind of character you loved: it was those who had bite to their bark.

        "Wow, Donnie... this phone - this is my phone?! How did you - " your eyes sparkled, and your mouth gawked as you tested out your new phone.

        He had to pretend he wasn't going insane over how dramatic your reactions were.

        Ego? Skyrocketing.

        "Not only did I fix your screen, add a DonTech VPN, and give you an extra 20 GB of storage - I also made sure that you were following meandlikedeverypostonmySoShellFeedyeahyou'rewelcome."

        He muttered the last bit in a hurried tone, but you couldn't mind due to how utterly astounded you were by the major upgrades.

        You could probably hold the entire collection of the internet's memes on your phone by now. AND STILL, HAVE STORAGE! Not only that, the resolution on your camera was fucking insane!

        "And you did all of this in - "

        "One hour and fourty-seven minutes? Yeah, I had to wait on the pizza before I could get my mojo on," he bragged.

        You know damn well that part was a lie but again, you didn't care. You let him feel good about his achievements because all of this was free.

        "I don't think I'll ever need a software update again...!" You whispered. The three accomodating compadres in the room laughed at you.

        "You won't - unless it's one of my updates. I tinker a lot, you should be aware it'll be VERY annoying for you," he grinned.

        Your smile was absolutely beaming when you turned to him. Flustered, his grin dropped and his eyes hurriedly shot around any other direction instead of on you.

        "Thank you so much, man! Seriously! You have no idea how grateful I am, this is sick!!!"

        He turned away from you in his swivel chair, leaning his head in his hands with his arms propped on the desk. "Uh yeah, yeah no problem." He played off his timidness with a bored-sounding voice, fiddling with a pen.

        "I will of course be needing to see your phone again soon; two hours didn't give me enough time to figure out how that dumb bug got into my app, yet."

        Oh, shoot, that's right! You needed to be heading home! You shot a look at April, and she nodded knowingly.

        "Um, of course!" you responded. "Maybe I'll revisit you guys soon! We can have an official hangout session then!"

        Mikey had stars in his eyes, and Raphael happily shrugged. "We'll be here anytime," he said.

        "And if you can't come over, just text me. I'm sure I can figure things out with a bit of vague QnA," Donatello informed. You nodded.

        Making your way out of the Lab was a bit of a bummer. You wanted to spend more time in there and really investigate all the cool inventions that the turtle genius made, but you really needed to be heading home.

        Speaking of Donnie's lab, though -

        "Hey, wasn't Leo supposed to be chilling here?" you asked April.

        Mikey answered for her with a shrug. "He's probably sleeping or reading comics. He does his own thing super often."

        Raph couldn't help but grumble, but didn't respond to it. You wondered why he seemed annoyed by that.

        But April, Raphael, Mikey, and Donnie ended up leading you out of the lair together. And when you finally made it to the ladders that once led you down here, you turned to them with another of your signature smiles.

        "Well, I've gotta be heading home. But it was really awesome that I could stop by on such short notice! I really appreciate you guys for letting me crash here for a bit. And for fixing my phone. Thanks a bunch, again."

        Donnie cracked a small smile and was quick to hide his face before you could see any full grin.

                The other two walked straight up to you - Mikey once again giving you a hug, and Raph settling with messing up your hair.

        "Not a problem, buddy! Make sure you come back soon, we'll always be happy to have ya! Text us when you get home, okay? It's dangerous out there at night."

        "Oh please, she's got O'Neil on her side," April scoffed jokingly. "I promised her a ride home, no biggie."

        You nodded anyway. "I'll text you guys, though. Oh, and tell Leo I said goodbye! It's a shame I wasn't able to talk with him longer!"

        "WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIT WAIIIT - YOU'RE LEAVING ALREADY?!"

        Speak of the devil and there shall he come. Leo frantically waved his arms as he ran toward you.

        Yeah. Frantically waving his arms. Running. With a giant, menacing sword in his hands.

        "CHEEBUS GRICE - LEO, DON'T RUN WITH THAT!" screamed April, guarding the two of you with her bat.

        "No, but I have to show ____ my super cool sword, they're gonna love it! Check this ou- woAAH !!!"

        As terrifyingly expected, Leonardo tripped on his own two feet and the sword went launching, slicing open some blue, mysterious portal in midair.

        The sword flew above you, and as he was falling he accidentally caught on to your jacket.

        ....Which, y'know, meant that you obviously fell into the portal with him.

        "____?!?!"

[sugar-petals]

♡ måneskin scenario: getting to know ethan 

↳ NOTE. by popular demand and because i’m entirely enthralled by the phenomenon that is ethan torchio myself, here we go givin’ the gorgeous drummer some love.

word count. 5.5k

TAGS. no warnings all fluff, fem!oc, slice of life, photographer!reader, first date-ish, shy flirting, ot4 is part of the plot, ethan being sexy in heels

Jacob had enough of that twilight bullshit and joined a glam rock band. At least that’s what you thought seeing Ethan around for the first time. Setting up the kit, carrying his whiny band members around, fixing his ruffle shirt, chugging some water: Big gig tonight, extra long setlist. Five minutes later, complaining about his brocade shoes being hard to kick the bass drum with. Even later, silently nodding along to an impassioned Damiano speech crafted to boost the morale, and posing for your camera in his silver jumpsuit. Friendly to approach all the way, but without initiating stable eye contact even once.

One thing’s for sure. As your favorite professor said back at university: Someone may be photogenic and unearthly as hell in terms of looks, and even be intimidating — but also so damn shy, you won’t see their eyes a single time. „Gotta work with it and not against. Then it gets interesting“. In essence, the takeaway from that course. Which does come in handy now. Ethan seems like the kind of guy you really have to get into for a more intimate-feeling picture.

Sure, many people in front of your camera have all kinds of introverted personalities anyway, wearing sunglasses in particular. So much about eye contact in the first place. And the aesthetic is priority, not studying character. Although you really are a fan of that, it’s a huge part of photography if anything. Alas, you’re here to „capture nothing more but the spirit of italo-rock, the attitude, the hedonism!“ (the exact words of your boss) for a music magazine after all. Really, nothing more? You paid attention to how he worded it. Fair enough. Rock spirit, that’s all, the exciting parts.

Ethan surely has it. Drumming on everything he can find during rehearsal breaks („music is everywhere“) with his sticks, even Thomas’ amplifier. He’s actually dorkier than you thought, less composed when he’s in his element. First impressions do deceive. The hair’s hard to miss, too. It’s the central motif that attracts you. You may or may not have taken over 50 shots of it just because. Ethan is a bad bitch and he better know. You climb around the venue to get any salient angle of Måneskin you can think of. Even from all the way back, last row. You don’t want to annoy them being all up in their face constantly. You’re hired to get all the good shots, they’ve been a band for seven years already, professionals in the making. Doesn’t mean you have to stand below the edge of the stage and never change position.

Even from back there, the silver reflects beautifully at the back of the stage. The fashion’s all designer and it shows, but Ethan couldn’t look bad in any of the shots even if he tried or wore the plainest black suit (hell, that would be just as beautiful in fact). Just how long is that hair anyway. All the way down to the solar plexus, must be 24 inches or more. 25, even. Many rockers would wear it that way, but Ethan seems particularly interesting with how he touches it, how he behaves with it. There we go again with the character study, you can’t help wondering.

But really. It’s any photographer’s dream when someone moves their hair around so damn naturally. Gives a great variety to how it frames and shades the face. You like to play with light all the time. And hey, why ask for eye contact when he does even better posing in other ways. The body, too, Ethan’s posture is great. Victoria and Thomas often bend to really get into their power chords, Damiano frequently hunches forward for a belt. But Ethan’s throned at his kit like some royals taught him to be a good boy. Back straighter than a pole, how the hell.

No glance in your direction still, even if you return from your last row spot to move around on stage with the camera. Which gives the band a motivation boost and chances to try out gestures up close, too, so even better. Hey, maybe it doesn’t annoy them. You can actually get used to it, this way of photographing them is all dynamic. Nearing the end of the first rehearsal, you’re all busy maneuvering between Thomas and Damiano to get a nice semi-profile from Ethan’s left side. Gotta work with it not against, you chant to yourself as a mantra, and it seems easier to stick to than you thought.

How glossy all that hair is commands all the attention of your shutter release in and of itself. That he takes good care of it and has been growing it since forever shows a dedicated guy. It’s actually quite wavy. The band arrived in the pouring rain and Ethan’s curly strands at the crown and nape of the head were definitely showing — super cute. An army of stylists took on the resulting humidity frizz. They whipped out the straightening iron and protective spray, and even now before the big performance, Ethan brushes his hair out in front of you, and sweeps it around with his fingers anyway. You take pictures of the bits you find most candid, and decide to rather perfect single shots instead of making several in a row. The more you photograph him, the more you want to discover his essence in one picture. His sheer presence almost begs for it, it’s ridiculous.

Victoria on the other hand has no problems with rapid-fire releases and comes close to your lens to pull funny faces. She’s got some of the coolest poses you’ve ever seen with her bass, and hops around the stage like a bunny to the beat. Thomas is a virtuoso and pro who keeps on doing what he does when you make him pose, and Damiano can flirt with any camera ever. He even lowers his red leather jacket off his collar bones for you to have a great shot. He’s promising and most definitely a born divo, your boss will be happy with those pictures most definitely.

Then again. Behind that supposed hedonism is so much hard work and thought. Damiano even gives you ideas for angles during the second rehearsal. „Hm, maybe stand on the amplifier?“ Eagle perspective, not a bad idea at all. After trying out said suggestions with the help of triggered stage security making sure you don’t fall off the construction („eh, Damiano always suggests the most reckless things to staff, don’t mind him“), you find yourself concentrating on what goes on at the back of the stage all over again.

Ethan is busy practicing a new solo which has you curious about whether it’s for an upcoming album. Though again — the shoes cause trouble. Ethan complains again, the music stops. That could very well be the reason why he seems so preoccupied today, or is it? The manager tells the stylist, and the stylist hurries, voilà, Ethan has a new pair of shoes brought in. Ones with a thicker sole, bit of a chunky heel, and laced up rather than being slippers, a drummer’s worst nightmare as you have learned today.

You wait until he changed. Then snap some more pictures how he continues practicing calmly, and the sound did improve since he can kick the bass drum better now. Now you position yourself across the stage all over, in the empty audience ranks. Ethan is the most radiant and confident when you just take a step back. But well, he still sweeps his hair around a whole lot and looks even more tense-looking than Damiano who’s doing vocal warmups and jumping jacks, „Come on guys, come on, we’re starting in 30 minutes!“.

You can tell he does it more often when he’s nervous. And that means he does it very often. People would probably assume it’s vanity, or the fact that the hair gets in the way. You can see that for him it’s a place of distraction, maybe safety. A gesture like an anchor. He’s used to it being long just like his eye shadow being dark and smoky all day. He knows the drums by heart, if it falls in his face no need to shake it away. And besides. The strands reach below his shoulder blades, it stays down his back if he doesn’t move around too much. He could easily tie it up as well. All those things go through your mind without you even knowing why.

To switch things up a little, you photograph Thomas fooling around with Victoria at the snack bar, stuffing fries up their noses, and already see the lighting technicians do their final check. Some of them you know briefly, you made shots at this venue before, last year for a Shakespeare theatre play. You did some freelance work in the scene, but now you’re put to the test for more involved jobs. Hard to complain though, Måneskin are amazing in front of the camera. If Damiano is not the ideal Hamlet, you don’t know anymore.

Something new happens all the time, the expressions are priceless. Ethan’s in particular, when he does his wide-eyed surprise faces learning that there’s actually healthy food at the snack bar. „Vitamins, how nice.“ — Thomas, pokerfaced, reacts with eating a mayonnaise-dripping sandwich. Ethan, unfazed. Headed straight to the fruits. You’ve never seen a tall silver glitter tower like him walking around biting a bright red apple. Well, you can take Jacob out of twilight, but not the twilight out of Jacob. Snap, another picture. Clash of words, that’s a nice theme.

The concert of this evening seems particularly energetic and leaves your camera roll with some brilliant, tweet-worthy material. Damiano covered in confetti, eyeliner running. Victoria on the shoulders of Ethan while he’s playing her bass.  Thomas, stagediving. Fans waving banners and chanting along to Seven Nation Army. Your ears are ringing when the light technicians close down the stage two hours later. Thomas really played his soul out with the solos, and your feet seem to vibrate. That’s your body thinking Victoria’s bass is still playing, but the magazine is very happy with how the pictures turned out after you send the whole batch to them as soon as you can.

Little to no retouching, zooming, or cropping necessary. Ethan is just perfect as he is, you feel like you captured him well. After swiping through the gallery on your tablet, you think Victoria has some great ant’s eye perspective shots as well. Those go right on your own blog, she’s just amazing. The magazine has an enthusiastic article typed out already. Damiano’s mid-air split on beat for the final song makes the cover story on Monday, and Måneskin’s manager comes back to you a week later. „What would you think about doing some behind the scenes stuff for us? We’re planning a music video!“

And that’s how you end up in a Sicilian restaurant with Måneskin and crew a week later, stuffed with Calzone and mind filled with Damiano’s inspiring words (and the occasional catchy freestyle rap). The MV is as good as finished. Thomas had shown you around the mansion they were shooting at, and you could convince a taciturn  Ethan to walk between the marble statues and boxwood trees in the garden. With his black cape on, a rhinestone choker, and the low-cut lacey blouse that the MV director was obsessed with as well, asking you to focus on it. Your best shot even ends up in the thumbnail of the Youtube video without you even expecting it would.

All the garden pictures turned out mindblowing. If not iconic, the best project you had so far. Gets to show you the best things are often improvised. Ethan, stoic as always, sat at the base of armor-clad Emperor Augustus twisting into the blue sky in a large gesture. The marble was a perfect contrast. Ethan ate a ripe pear from a tree, even that was aesthetically pleasing, then leaned against a hunting Apollo, and you also framed him from the back next to Aphrodite and Cesar. He put on his sunglasses underneath Achilles, and knelt at the feet of a Pietà replica. Marvelous panorama shots, with him the shining center. Well, we know since Queen that the drummer is the unrealistically pretty one.

The whole picture series is blowing up on your blog for the whole afternoon. „Count Dracula on a stroll in Versailles — eugh, begone sunlight!“ is what a comment neatly sums it up as. People seem to especially like the shot where Ethan playfully put his cape over Pallas Athena’s spear with a blurry Thomas having a laughing fit in the background. Well, even Count Drac gets photobombed sometimes. Your phone buzzes with notifications every other minute, you do notice it against your thigh. But the insalata of the restaurant is good and the night is young. Victoria and the manager tell old stories of Thomas snapping a guitar string while he was trying to serenade a highschool crush. Ethan scolds them for making fun of it.

Damiano gets drunk and dances on the table, the MV director discusses new ideas, some walk-in fans take pictures. The temperature is still unbearable. You order a dessert to share with Victoria and Ethan. A large tiramisu that the waiter cuts in three pieces, and it’s truly delectable. The chocolate, so crunchy, melty. The cream, fluffy and cool, making for a funny white beard that makes Ethan look like an arctic scientist returning from an expedition.

Of course, you take pictures, all the food is documented. As are late night restaurant shots with Damiano’s heels peaking into the frame when you photograph the band’s friendship bracelets, hand-made by Victoria on a tour bus last year. Damiano’s back down on the table soon, singing, while Ethan creates a beat with two forks. Thomas also agrees to take your camera for a while so you’d be in the frame for a change, too.

You pose for a group picture, or rather a group hug, and being in the middle …Ethan’s arm wraps around your shoulder loosely, hair dangling into his face, but also brushing yours. He focuses on the camera, facing away from you. The schooled eye could catch you breaking a sweat in the resulting photo. Ironically, the tiramisu doesn’t cool you down the way you thought. Thomas is too busy trying to figure out your camera dials and yelling „hey eyebrow king, smile!“ at Ethan.

A round of even more gelato goes down in spoons and spoons. The band members eat like they ran a marathon. Ethan clinches a third round because he can, unhealthy be damned, he needs some sugar and refreshment. And it’s true the MV shooting was strenuous in the heat, and had lots of intense performing parts. Even an invisible rope suspension were Thomas would descend from a ceiling during the chorus with little cherub wings attached to his back because why not. If the manager agreed to recreate this on tour some day, the pictures would be amazing.

You can’t help but think what kind of special effect would suit Ethan the most, and you come to the conclusion that a bridge lift would be the coolest thing ever. A rising part of the stage letting him emerge like an elevator from the underground.  Maybe using smoke machines, too. The idea twirls around in your mind so intensely, Damiano asks if you’re wasted. You’re always getting carried away with all kinds of fantasies like that for over a week now. A dreamy photographer? Not unusual, but it’s seriously distracting you from the present moment.

The crew slowly heads home, and the band decides (translation: Victoria’s mood is) to head to the movies. Just when the waiter arrives with the bill, Damiano spills panna cotta all over Ethan by accident. So bad he’s all sticky from the shoulders down, making Ethan opt for the hotel instead. Besides, he’s been drumming his soul out, sleep is so needed now. Since the group is already gone and there’s still a forgotten cymbal left to carry back to the equipment bus by the hotel, you help Ethan maneuver it around. The heat is making either of you sweat, even with the full dark of the night coming up.

The gaffer lady you’re sharing a hotel room with is already fast asleep. Damn it. You want to cut a video and make screenshots with the laptop being decently bright. And with some volume if possible, you don’t find headphones in the darkness of the room. Ethan clears the desk in his own room for you after removing his make-up. He looks so young and beautiful and tired.

You type and drag and double click yourself through the video and do some last blog updates to deal with all the notifications. Ethan lends you some headphones, but you only keep them on one ear. The humming is too nice to ignore. Nor do you know what to even expect. The bathroom door is open, Ethan is topless washing the lace blouse by hand. Only wearing bellbottom pants and his lace choker — nothing else. He’s fully immersed in his task. He even adds some other shirts and silk scarves into the soap water along the way while he’s at it.

You’ve never seen someone do their own laundry so systematically. Ethan looks like Prince Caspian at the sink, wielding the almond soap bar like his weapon of choice against the enemies of Narnia (the devious panna cotta that’s still sticking to everything). He might be all mysterious, but he’s well able to curse all kinds of things. You tease Ethan for dropping his gentlemanly behavior for a stain of dessert. Ethan insists you sound like Thomas trying to test him with his slick comebacks, which makes you laugh. The blog has calmed down a little and your eyes hurt from editing, so you call it a day and send one last e-mail.

Ethan is drowning in bubbles at this point. The whole room smells like fabric softener. He thanks you for helping him carry around the equipment earlier. In return, you say grazie for him being your perfect muse in the garden today. Philosopher he is, Ethan remarks how Måneskin is usually the one searching for muses, now he ended up one himself — „Maybe not a bad thing, eh. Become the thing you want or something.“ That’s way too deep for a summer night in Sicily, and both of you need a huge portion of sleep. Tomorrow, lots of schedule. You do find yourself wanting to help lick that dessert off his chest. No way you’d tell him.

Ethan waddles off to shower after a crooked, reserved smile for a good night departure. When you close the door to your room and start brushing your teeth, the other members’ voices emerge in the hotel corridor — they’ve returned from the movies. Damiano is even more wasted than before and audibly sings. „You’ve looked at the photographer lady in a certain way earlier, huh. I saw, I saw!“ Victoria does a loud ‚shh‘ noise, and the stoic reply is a simple „Sleep, Damiano, you’ve had too much.“ Thomas giggles, and four doors click shut. Damiano’s singing is now muffled for two minutes until it’s silent. How the fuck can you even sleep after hearing that.

You assumed that Ethan would treat you differently the next morning, in whatever shape or form. But he doesn’t. The greeting is short as it would always be, and he informs you that he did manage to wash out the sugary clay from his clothes as he puts it. Damiano says nothing, adjusts his rings. Thomas randomly pulls zippers at his packed-up equipment. Victoria headed to the car already. Downtown to a studio it goes. The group gets styled to perfection, twenty minutes later they make a reaction video to the newly released MV teaser. Ethan talks about enjoying the sculptures in the garden.

Three hours down the line, you shoot some promotional pictures of them at a pool. Thomas has the time of his life perfecting his diving board skills, and Damiano creates the musical background, singing and prancing. The aerials would make literal perfect editorial-in-VOGUE material. In the meantime, Victoria dozes in the sun. Ethan dives. Sometimes just sitting at the bottom of the pool, othertimes swimming back and forth. The art director suggests you to go into the water, too. He’s right, the perspective works out well this way.

You’re basically standing in there with your flowy pantalon pants and camisole, using a waterproof camera. Your bikini is back at the hotel. It doesn’t matter, everything will dry quickly, the others went in the pool with clothes as well. And you’re all too wrapped up in your passion in the first place. You marvel at how fun the whole scenery looks through your lens. Their outfits are cropped and luminous, today’s color is bright red. You order the lighting assistant back and forth, get some more great Thomas frames where he tosses around a volleyball that the manager brought along. Less rock than usual, but it works. Måneskin at a pool in Sicily.

Damiano splashes water around like crazy. Victoria joins the fun as well, splashing right back. It’s infernal. Well, those are going to be dynamic pictures, you think, and the cameraman never dies, so. Ethan resurfaces every other minute, wiping the chlorine from his eyes. He slicks his hair back with both hands, looking down his body learning how his shirt has become completely transparent. He covers his chest with his hair, quickly, then submerges again. It’s strange. Being topless is usually no big deal in Måneskin.

Almost 12 o’clock. Thomas and Damiano wander off to work on some lyrics, probably the title that the drum solo is part of. All top secret. Victoria returns to her sun lounger, checking her phone. The crew heads for lunch, but you stay in the water, gladly you put sunscreen on earlier. You ask Ethan to try some seated or floating poses at the bottom of the pool that you saw him practice earlier. „No worries, keep your eyes closed.“

What unfolds before you is the most beautiful thing. Ethan’s shirt fans out like a red jellyfish underwater, playing around his body. His figure is just enviable. He gets the hang of it and knows quite how to move. Or rather, to remain stable when the pose is perfect. Hands above his head, horizontal, or seated, only one foot  lightly sweeping over the pool floor, or on one knee, as if he proposed.

Raising his arms helps him sink down and settle, as if he immersed himself in deep meditation. Although the purpose of meditating is to be present, isn’t it. And that’s what he feels like. Ethan would normally switch on autopilot for most of his public interactions, now he’s alive and fully in the concentrated movements of the photoshoot. So much about improvising all over again. The hair creates the most incredible shapes like a black, wide brushstroke, clearly outlined. Thank god you have the waterproof camera. These are moments you’ll never forget.

Your blog notifications keep on bleeping throughout the afternoon. The promotional pictures are a hit. Måneskin’s manager is basically waving five new contracts in front of your face at dinner, but you’re kind of spaced out again. The cozy, rose-ranked atmosphere of the street café you went to is inspiring, and the members dressed up in the most fancy suitwear. Men in Black? Måneskin in Black. It’s almost as if fate read your mind. Ethan is looking at you very intently from across the table when the minestrone is served.

Pasta shells, parsley, vegetables and basil leaves. The scent surrounds the entire table. Damiano, in serious mode tonight, is too busy finding new rhymes and an alternative chorus with Thomas who wildly brainstorms. Victoria drinks, loudly chats with the gaffer lady that you share a room with, and they use a leaf of a palm tree pot plant to tickle Damiano. Thomas plays the acoustic guitar. Ethan and you end up smiling briefly at another. „Bon apetit,“ you say. It’s almost 34° celsius. That’s going to be an entire pile of cheesecake gelato tonight.

Five signed contracts later and halfway through a hefty caprese cake, the title song is finished. An ode to Marlena, fierce like the Mediterranean sea. The piece certainly sounds exactly like this place. Strangers listen to Damiano performing bits and pieces, but you decide to disperse when too many cellphones come out. Damiano wants to go to a bar, Thomas and Victoria carry home their guitars, or to the hotel to be exact, and bags of newly shopped vintage clothes. You ask Ethan if there are any cinemas around the area. „We missed out last time, remember.“

The Palazzo Theater is a small and hidden insider tip far from the main street with its busy beach tourists. Under bulbous metal balconies and peach-colored facades, a small entrance with lanterns on each side guides you inward. Ethan almost hits his head, it’s so low. He’s wearing glossy red bottoms under his suit pants, you’re out and about with a 6’2 giant after all — a statue by himself. A small man with a pipe sells you cheap tickets for a Mads Mikkelsen movie and lemonade, Ethan picks up an XXXL caramel popcorn bucket. You think he’s flexing, but you get a sudden heureka by looking at it twice.

Unlike the S, M, and L bags, it’s thick cardboard and drum-shaped. Oh my god, obviously. Which fine percussionist could ever resist such temptation striped in red and white, the sound deep and dull? It makes you smile how Ethan pursues his instrument even when he seemingly doesn’t, it really has to be a hobby at heart. That’s how a job becomes a profession, and a profession a vocation, your uni professor’s other favorite words all over again. The latter’s words have gotten you far so you again trust the insight that came to you through that quote.

Seeing Ethan standing there, you can almost see the childlike joy at imagining it being empty and ready to get turned around. A tuxedo Italian with Louboutin heels and a ginormous popcorn drum, half past eleven somewhere in Palermo: Ingenious combination, you snap a picture. Ethan makes a cute face, posing like a pinup of the 50s. Who knows how many vintage store posters he’s seen during tours, he must have picked it up there. And— Is he blushing? Must be the dim lights in here.

Off you go to the auditorium. Ethan, who balance the popcorn with all care in the world like it’s his baby, walks the aisle slower than you. The slim steps don’t have any floor lighting. Not very heel-friendly, but since it’s not a huge budget theater and few people dare spike heels on those cobblestones outside anyway, the stairs shall be forgiven. You take out your phone and offer your arm. For every gentleman it takes a gentlewoman, duh. Like rock’n’roll and the camera staff, chivalry (or shevalry as Damiano calls it when Vic holds the door open) never dies. He mumbles a thanks, you climb upward to the fourth-last row, Ethan holds on tight.

No ankles twisted and not one popcorn spilled, you get seated on red velvet. The chairs are dated, but nevertheless ultra comfortable. Nobody else is here. The adverts roll, Ethan cracks open the lemonade bottle caps with his chunky golden lighter because he can. You toast to Mads Mikkelsen’s bone structure and good minestrone, Måneskin’s finished title track, the promo pics, and the discovery of Ethan’s favorite new drum. A whopping five things to toast about? The night’s going to be great.

Damiano catwalking across the screen, wearing a Versace skirt in the middle of otherwise-boring commercials does shake you up. He was picked as a testimonial recently. Though, your pulse is high enough. Ethan’s hair is brushing against your shoulders, not to mention his goddamn massive arms. He can’t get out a single word either for the entirety of the ads, avoiding eye contact all over again. Just how much suspense can starting to eat the first popcorn have. Well, you pick two  from the very top and start munching.

Mads does a great job opening the movie as one would expect, but you just can’t concentrate. Instead, you stress-eat popcorn. Which makes Ethan do the same thing, at least he’s somewhat fixated on the screen. After the first ten minutes, he shakes his head. „That makes no sense at all,“ he clears his throat. „Yeah, yeah it  clearly doesn’t,“ you agree, basically on Torchio-autopilot yourself for the lack of a better reply. You were too busy figuring out the components of his aftershave rather than the thin plot. Shifting in your seat, chugging lemonade…

The air conditioning is scarce, but at least the screen is quite large and proper. You try to focus on the cinematography and do small talk about it. If there’s something you can comment on without having followed the string of action, it’s at least this.  You might be nervous, but you’re still a photographer. „Um, isn’t this chainmail nice in the closeup?“ — „Hm, I guess it works. We should ask Damiano to request something like this from Versace.“ — „Medieval Måneskin Rockers?“ — „Something like that.“ — „Hilarious.“

By the twenty-minute mark, the popcorn drum is almost empty. Gladly, that stuff just shrinks to bits in the stomach. The lemonade just has to galvanize it. You might be able to distract yourself with the camera shots and the last caramel chunks, but that doesn’t change Ethan’s long legs and Acqua di Parma perfume next to you. Yep, you finally figured out what it was, it wasn’t the aftershave. And well. Ethan smells like hotel soap from Milano to Napoli and back.

That scent basically dominates all the others besides a hint of cigar and basil and citrus-y deodorant mixed with runny sweat. God fuck, you can barely stand it. And the almond scent. You take a chance to at least jokingly point it out to him. The random movie flashback sequence is boring — and just as nonsensical as before, no offense to Mads though, he’s just walking around in chain mail — enough to deviate from whatever choppy convo you had going on before.

„I actually washed it twice,“ Ethan pulls off the silky scarf that functions as his current tie, and you recognize it. „The strawberry sauce was hard, but the cranberries… God no, I’ll never go near pana cotta again. Nothing against cream desserts.“ You take the scarf, smell it. Did he literally just hand it to you? Figures, he’s sweating bullets, too. And oh shit, he hasn’t talked that much all evening.

You slowly shift from bodies turned to the screen to facing each other. So up close, so up front, only God can help you know. His eyes are dark and reflective of the film’s flickering lights and changing scenes. You wish you could photograph them on sight. It would be as glimmering as your view from the hotel room, overwatching the unobstructed stars of the Mediterranean bay down the boulevard.

But it’s like you’re stuck in your position this way, feverishly thinking about a reply. What to pick up on, what to pick up on. You think about today, the evening where you edited things in his room. „Uh well, drop your laundry in the pool next time,“ you laugh, more than tentative, with your fingers randomly curling around the scarf. „The chlorine stuff will do the job for you. It’s so aggressive, it bleached by pants one shade lighter.“

Saved. Smooth transaction. Phew. „Oh, the pool was horrible. Not the photos, I mean… I don’t know how you can poison water that way.“ — „I know right? It’s still in my nose. But yeah, was a good idea with the underwater thing. The photos turned out really well.“ — „I really haven’t done something like that before but I guess it turned out hm, nice?“ — „Come on! Nice is understated. Are you fishing for compliments?“ — „No no, by all means!“ — „The one kneeling. It’s my favorite. I don’t even know what to do with all these pictures.“

„I don’t know. Maybe keep them?“ — „Keep… for what?“ — „It’s a separate series, right. The art director didn’t request it. Maybe they can be used for something later on during promotions.“ — „Yeah. We’re always a little extracurricular,“ you laugh again, tense in your voice, and empty your lemonade completely. „This, too,“ Ethan points at the theatre in general. „You’re good to talk to. The better version of alone time.“ — „Thank you. You’re great to go out with. I… really like it.“ Beautiful nature scenes show on screen, but they’re nothing but a blur. You take Ethan’s hands in the dark and smile. „Maybe we should do it more often.“

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© submissive-bangtan 2017-2021. all rights reserved. do not repost or translate. all depictions fictional.

[ohmygeese]

Hi! Welcome to our new segment called "The SMP has morally gray storyline so stop treating it like everything is black or white: Rant Edition"

The reason why Tubbo was compared to Schlatt in the first place was because he didn't inform his cabinet of his decision of exiling Tommy. This is a valid reason for his cabinet to be upset but unfortunately, they took the situation as an opportunity to manipulate Tubbo to do their bidding.

Knowing the full story, Tommy had no right to call Tubbo "a monster" but looking at purely Tommy's perspective, he was pretty valid in saying so (allegedly kicking Wilbur out of NLM, putting Phil in house arrest, planning to execute Techno, and of course, his entire exile). Same goes to the times Tubbo called Tommy "selfish and a liability." Both are unfair portrayals of each character's actions but are completely understandable since their relationship has been tainted by miscommunication and "hear-says" from biased/unrealiable sources.

During the El Rapids storyline, Dream had the right to call Quackity a terrorist although we know it wasn't purely because of the fake strike and the siege of the throne but as a political tactic for his own benefit. However, Karl also had the right to call Dream a tyrant because why else would you get yourself involved in an affair of two nations of which you aren't even a part of and go as far as to speak over the king and use your godly powers as a threat. Like :D

Tommy, Tubbo, and Ranboo are the only ones who actually care about maintaning peace and justice in the server. I could not stress this enough: "The fate of the entire server rests on their hands." Quackity? On a power high. Fundy and Niki? Running away from their problems and building a new country to sastify their own desires. Phil? Protecting Techno is his #1 priority, anything else nada. Techno? On a revenge arc and owes a favor to a person who goes against the very core of his anarchic (?) ideals. These three are the only ones willing to call out bullshit eveb if it means a loss in power or comfort but, currently, they're all facing difficulties to do so. Tommy is literally overloaded with trauma and is questioning the world as he knows it. Tubbo is being manipulated by Dream and his cabinet. Ranboo has memory issues, is easily peer-pressured and is isn't really taken seriously by the wide majority. The SMP is fucked if they don't pull their shit together.

Tommy has the right to say that nobody cared about him during his exile because he has said multiple times in passing how depressed and tired he has been since living in Logstedshire. He even has mentioned Dream's manipulative tendencies multiple tomes. But even after all that, Ranboo was the only to actually recognize and do something about it (Sapnap as well but he's too pre-occupied with El Rapids). Not even his own father did.

Canonically, Phil is a terrible father and grandfather. He calls out bullshit but never makes an effort to fix them. Old man disowned his furry grandson for wanting to kill Techno but doesn't explain to him Techno's reasoning with the war crimes in the first place. Old man also did nothing to save Tommy from exile even after witnessing the shit his son is going through. (I know its not in the script and I respect that but we gotta call out bs. Hope they give Phil redemption other than being a good pal to only Techno :D)

Both Pogtopia and Techno are at fault for the government clash incident. Pogtopia has expressed multiple times of how they want to reclaim L'manberg. It was Techno's mistake to not infer that it included the government especially since the heads of the operation were the ex-president and vice president of the nation. Additionally, Techno kept saying stuff like "We'll burn the bridge when we get there," whenever he gets asked on his opinion about the revolution. And that is called miscommunication at its finest. However, this does not discredit the fact that Pogtopia did use Techno as a literal weapon without further inspecting his stance whatsoever.

On the topic of Pogtopia and Techno, in the moment where its revealed that Techno is going to betray Tommy, don't say its karma. They were both used as weapons during that era, Tommy far beyond that. He wasn't even the one to institute the government when they won, it was Wilbur. Think of it as Tommy as the handle and Techno was the blade. It fits perfectly to their dynamic during that era. Also, don't try to reason out manipulation wth.

Last point, to the people who were disappointed that Tommy never got to "learn his lesson" after he escaped from Dream, do not become parents. Just don't. You really expect a literal teenager who just escaped from an abusive relationship to think about that? Bitch, Tommy never had time to even think about his trauma and you expect him to be like "ye, i was irresponsible," in a snap? If anything, the exile just showed him that he and his discs are being used a political leverage (he even said that he's the only one Dream is scared of) so of course, Tommy is going to try to take his discs back as a way to end the bullshit he and everyone he holds dear has gone through. We don't even know if he's going to put it in an e-chest or burn it (probably the latter). Guys. Please. The child literally went through hell and back. Give him therapy before lecturing him about being "selfish." (Again, you have no right to call him that in the first place.)

Appreaciate the storyline for what it is and stop trying to fight each other over who was right and who's in the wrong like please. The only redeemable (by redeemable i mean saints amongst men y'know maybe should not have used that word to begin with but ahhhhhh) characters here is Ranboo (Edit: Also Niki haha woops, thank you for reminding me) if I'm completely honest. (I am going against everything I stand for to not include Tommy and Tubno in that sentence but I said what I said.)

/dsmp /roleplay /nm

[stxleslyds]

Jason doesn't show up in DC's animated series (though the does "spiritually" show up as Tim Drake in Season 2 of Batman the Animated Series).

Jason has a strong presence in the video games, though. So what is your opinion on Jason's characterization for Arkham Knight? He is a DLC for the Injustice games as well. Judy be warned that I did watch some clips of Arkham Knight and the torture was too gruesome for me.

RED HOOD IN VIDEO GAMES.

Hey there friend, thank you for the ask!

INJUSTICE 2.

I had to do some research on Red Hood’s appearances in the Injustice games because I was never really in touch with that story. Here is what I knew about it, there are two games for PC, one of them is Injustice and the other is Injustice 2, the games also have the comic books that give context/background to the lore of the game.

I used to play Injustice: Gods Among Us on mobile phone, and I had Jason as a playable character there, I also found out way too late that “Nightwing” wasn’t really Dick Grayson, it was Damian because he took on the mantle after he and the rock killed Dick in the comic (forever mad at that ridiculous death and the kinda scary art that comic had).

I looked for information about Red Hood’s backstory in wikis and all that because I refuse to read an alternate universe book written by Tom Taylor, there are things that I am just not willing to do.

All in all, I think that this Jason was in surface level, the same as his canon comic counterpart up until the time of his resurrection. Given that the world was at war and the League of Assassins wasn’t working openly, he and the others had to live in the shadows, he seems to have been trained proficiently by both Batman and the LoA so he is a very hardcore opponent. There are some bits of his story with Damian and a place called Gorilla City that I do not understand because I haven’t read the comics but I am fine without it.

The thing is that this Jason is pretty cool, he sticks to his morals and fights for what he believes is right, he doesn’t look like the kinda guy that takes sides in this war which is probably the best idea. Both Batman and Superman seem to be on the wrong side of history with they ideals.

What I did see and I loved eternally was the ending to Red Hood’s story, I will link the video here! But I will also copy and paste all that he says there because I think it’s really important and where I was able to see more of his characterization.

"That. Felt. Good. Titanium composite hollow point bullets with a C4 kicker. Fastest, most explosive ammo in the world. I made them myself. With the invasion over, Bruce and Superman started fighting again. I wasn't down with either of them. On the one hand, the Regime's right. Scumbag murderers and rapists deserve to die. But on the other hand, I'm no fan of government authority. Especially the dictatorial variety.

So, while the world's finest fight each other, I fight for the people. The weak. The innocent. Anyone who can't protect themselves. When they cry out for a saviour, I'll answer. As for the criminals that threaten them? They need to know that their actions have consequences. That the Red Hood is coming for them.”

This is excellent, I absolutely love this, this Jason knows his morals and doesn’t bow down to anyone and in the end, he is truly a hero to the people that need heroes the most.

Him saying that he believes that some criminals have to die but that he can’t really join Superman’s side because he cannot associate with it because he isn’t a fan of dictatorial ideas, I love this man.

I feel like this is a fair characterization for Jason, I believe that if something along the lines of what happens in Injustice happens in current continuity then Jason wouldn’t join any sides, he wouldn’t be neutral per se but he will fight for his own ideals. And his ideals in most universes are protecting people and I think that’s great. I love to see a world where Jason is seen as more intelligent and put together than the Batman.

Something that I find quite funny and interesting from this game is the dialogues that characters have with each other when they fight, I found this video compilation where you can see all the dialogues between Red Hood vs Robin (Damian Wayne), they are so fun and I love the animations too.

BATMAN: ARKHAM KNIGHT.

Oh, ArkhamVerse Jason, my beloved.

He is, to me, the epitome of this meme.

I have actually watched the whole game playthrough, several times, and Jason had a DLC as the Red Hood for that game (Nightwing has one too and I will talk about it later because I love this version of him). And, yes, the torture scene is very gruesome, it was incredibly sad and it made me feel bad. But I also think that they made it that way so it could support the kind of storytelling they were going for.

The reality is that this Jason suffered his whole life, and was constantly introduced to lifestyles that he never wanted to be part of. The world around this Jason wasn’t kind at all to him and there is a long list of people who did him wrong.

Although ArkhamVerse Jason didn’t die, like his comic counterpart did, he suffered the most. And his suffering really drove him to be the best version of an unhinged Jason Todd. But it’s clear, his brutality and murder intent isn’t laced with his Red Hood persona or at least not on the same level as it is with his Arkham Knight persona.

This Jason’s characterization works to perfection, but it only works that way because he was well developed within the game lore and the comics. This Jason was extremely well trained, he is probably the smartest version of Jason, his mind and his level of preparedness are unparalleled when it comes to other Jason Todd variants (a little MCU Loki talk right there).

I would go as far as to say that this Jason would be an excellent match to peak Dick Grayson from before New 52 in comics. Those two would clash so immensely, but man, it would be one hell of an intellectual and physical fight. Two Kings doing what they do best.

Anyway, for now take my word for how well characterized Jason is in the ArkhamVerse, I will make a post were I deep dive more on his character both in game and comics. There is so much to say about him, he is truly interesting and very complex.

Now, I will be a little cheeky and I will use this ask as an opportunity to talk about my man, ArkhamVerse Nightwing aka Pretty Boy.

I love him so much! In the game when you get to meet him (I will link the video here! it’s five minutes long, and worth the watch) you get to see both Nightwing’s and Dick’s personalities. Nightwing is fun and relaxed, he is a little bit cocky and doesn’t let Batman be a pain in his ass, he is truly a beast. Although he is never seen without the mask in a moment when he is alone with Bruce you can really see Dick’s personality shine through. He obviously has had issues with Bruce in the past but there is also this palpable respect coming from both of them to the other. Bruce wants to protect Dick but he acts like a jerk instead of telling him what is on his mind. Dick wants to help Bruce at all costs, he refuses to leave Gotham until they solve something that he was already working on before Bruce needed his help.

There is also this sort of goodbye scene between the two (I will link it here!) that is extremely sad because Dick doesn’t believe Bruce when he tells him that he is proud of him. Dick cuts him off just when Bruce was trying to open up and I think that scene speaks volumes about how rough their relationship was. Dick never finds out that Bruce was “dying” after being infected with the Joker’s blood/gas, so it’s very bittersweet.

There is also the Nightwing DLC, where we get to see Dick being the best of the best, he is so skilled and funny and smart. It is amazing how much this game made me love their Nightwing even though he doesn’t appear much, his dynamic with Penguin is just perfect, Dick literally makes Penguin’s life very difficult. All of the people working with Penguin kinda fear Dick a little bit, some of them are even impressed by his skills.

Oh and, when Nightwing gets captured at some point in the game, Penguin’s men are saying something along the lines of “I was sure Batman will come in” “how come?” “what’s tied up downstairs and getting the crap beat out of it?” “Oh yeah, Nightwing” and that is so true, if I were Batman, I will also risk my life for Nightwing.

I just love Nightwing, he makes me so happy! He is the best here!

Anyway, enough of me loving Nightwing uncontrollably, I will make a separate post where I only talk about ArkhamVerse Jason so, yeah, be ready for that one because I love that Jason too, he is hot.

[earnestly-endlessly]

Cherik fluff/hurt?

Hi@stardustednerd. I am so so terribly sorry for the time this took me. I have accumulated a pretty good list of fics that contain both fluff and hurt. I must say that this fandom does enjoy the angst/hurt part of cherik, there is a lot of hurt/comfort but a bit less of fluff/hurt. I also want to add that this fandom also seems to enjoy Hurt! Charles so you can expect plenty of those in this list. If you like hurt and fluff I highly suggest that you check out luninosity's cherik fics. Cherik Fluff/Hurt fic recs

You’re Not Doing This Alone – flightinflame, Lynds Summary: What's meant to be a simple recruitment mission leads to both Erik and Charles being de-aged back to thirteen years old. Terrified and out of their depth, the boys try to hide their situation and help each other until they can work out what is going on.

Long Time No See – InkEros (thacmis) Summary: The new kid in class is someone from Erik's dark, dark past. Charles Xavier, for some reason or another, keeps following Erik around, trying to talk to him like a man on a mission. He's someone Erik never wanted or expected to see, ever again. Or... doesn't he?

Promise me, promise me – awriting_ghost Summary:  Based on the prompt: "Oh now I want fic where somehow Erik is there when the serum starts wearing off, and he panics because what’s happening to Charles, and he watches him break down, he finally understands."

Anchor Me – brilliantdreams Summary: Charles is awake in the kitchen having telepathy troubles when Erik finds him. Cuddling ensues.

With Your Kindness – helens78 Summary: Cerebro takes a lot out of Charles; a warm bath complete with washing his hair feels like the least Erik can do, but if it's all he can offer, he will.

Cotton Walls – walrusface Summary: In large crowds, Charles finds it difficult to control his telepathy. While they're on their recruitment road trip, Erik tries to help.

Stubborn is as Stubborn Does – WaxRhapsodic Summary: Charles works himself until he collapses! Erik is not pleased.

The Color of Love (Character Swap Remix) – BadLuckBlueEyes Summary: Nobody sees in color until they meet their soulmates. When your soulmate dies, your vision returns to black and white. What happens when your soulmate only dies for a few minutes?

Let your anger anchor you (your peace will bring me home) – anthora09 Summary: Charles takes an unnecessary risk and winds up in the infirmary. Erik is not happy. (His exact words are "I told you so.")

Accidents Will Happen – pocky_slash Summary: In which Charles is in an accident, Erik relives some terrible memories, and the hospital staff is very indulgent. Part of ‘the Daycare’ verse.

The Beats Of My Heart That I Gave You – luninosity Summary: Early days at the mansion, fluff, hurt/comfort, Erik building bookshelves for Charles, first-time I-love-you moments, happy endings.

Ambulance Angel – kageillusionz  Summary: Erik Lehnsherr, senior paramedic, and winner of the Sexiest London Paramedic Award for three years in a row, has an epiphany as he speeds towards Royal London Hospital. An epiphany that may or may not concern Doctor Charles Xavier M.D and emergency consultant at the Royal London Hospital.

Waking up inside a dream – soetry Summary: A tear ran down Charles's cheek, and then he choked out, tone desperate, “I can make you forget this. Nothing has to change.” Erik stood and left the room.

Gin and Tonic – JackyJango Summary: Charles takes a deep breath to steal himself and nearly collapses on the floor out of the sheer pain the motion tugs out of his bruised ribs and stomach. Tears crowd his eyes, and even that, causes his left cheek to throb. He takes another breath despite the pain and leans on the counter for support. He feels lightheaded and dizzy. The tears threaten to surpass the barrier of his eyes and flow down his cheeks. No, he won’t cry. He can’t; because he doesn’t think he’d stop once he starts. Besides, crying will only empower Kurt further. He can’t let the man break him in every way possible. Just as he’s about to open the tap to splash water over his eyes, the door to the bathroom bursts open and Erik enters through it. Shit. What is Erik doing here? Shouldn’t he be in a lecture? Even if he wanted to just use the urinals, there’s already a toilet on their floor. He needn’t have walked across the campus to use the one specifically Charles is in. But before Charles could voice any of those thoughts, Erik asks in a voice as hard as steel, ‘What happened to your face?’

When Sorrows Come – jekyll_inside Summary: "The best teachers are the ones that have overcome adversity, Charles, not the ones who have never experienced it." (Erik stays with Charles and the others to help rebuild the school, but Charles has lost faith in himself.)

The Properties of Pineapple – garrideb Summary: Pineapple is Charles's favorite food, but he won't eat it when he's unhappy. This doesn't make sense to Erik; it's the opposite of how comfort food is supposed to work. But questions are answered when Erik discovers a secret Charles has been keeping, forcing them to face their clash of ideals once more.

Not Yet – GenuineSnoof Summary: "Do you know who I am?"

"No," Charles said. "You... know me?"

"Yes. Your name is Charles. I'm Erik."

"Charles."

"Yes. Charles Xavier. What the hell happened? How did you get here?"

"I woke up," Charles said. "And I... left."

Honest Bone and Burning Thought – Black_Betty Summary: And so sometimes, his mind buzzing away, bright and brilliant and humming with pure expansive energy, Charles speaks without thinking at all. Without censoring himself. Without realizing that his brain has reached out and snatched something that was never his to know, or take...

For these two men – novera_nope Summary: When Erik has a panic attack on the plane, even an emotionally stunted man as Logan realizes the nature of the relationship between Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr.

[zuzuslastbraincell]

mai & the rest of the gaang:

mai & aang: a bit awkward, at first? not on aang's end of course, he's totally unflustered and in fact quite keen to get to know zuko's girlfriend and I actually think mai doesn't know what to do with this attitude, given she spent six months or so trying to hunt him down, and that's very present in her mind. hanging out with aang is a very pleasant culture shock in how he casually diaregards half the norms she was raised to strictly follow, speaking with warm enthusiasm and genuine curiosity to all, be they dish washers or tea servers or the Fire Lord's girlfriend, disregarding barriers of social class that are so carefully upheld in the Fire Nation. It's refreshing as it is bewildering. I think mai does develop a fondness for aang - although she can find him and his antics a bit much at times - and deeply respects and cares for him if only for how valued his friendship with zuko is. she claims to tolerate his goofy antics but she enjoys them far more than she lets on (his flying marble trick does elicit a rare smile, although it only appears for 0.02 seconds before returning to the most deadpan expression). I think mai respects him most politically actually - aang grows up to be an excellent diplomat, an excellent mediator who does not lose sight of the importance of various different perspectives, especially those who are forgotten or maligned, even when in circles of power.

mai & sokka: as discussed, they have a rocky start. sokka, my darling beloved sokka, has a tendency to be a bit abrasive, if we're honest, in that his humour and his puns are a little in-your-face, he has a bit of an ego aboht being the funniest/smartest person in the room, and he can take it personally when people don't like it. mai doesn't have much time for that. mai doesn't care much for sokka's jokes if only because they're attached to this ego, but also and finds the puns a bit flat (whereas she finds aang's mischief making genuinely funny, though she tries to hide it), and sokka takes this deeply personally and tries really hard to elicit a laugh from her. this just ends up with him aggravating her more. I think mai has little time for sensitive male ego games and that's partially why her and sokka clash- she won't blunt herself for him, even if he is one of zuko's closest friends. I think sokka, to his credit, doesn't dismiss her as a 'bitch' and keeps trying - in fact, the reason he comes on so strong is because he actually really wants her to like her - and i think that's because of boiling rock, and because of that alone sokka deeply respects mai on many levels (and was extremely surprised by how all that played out, and knows from that alone that mai is a layered and complex person who contains multitudes). I think what might cause mai to warm to him is politics - sokka's a pragmatist, who is skeptical of idealism without material backing and is refreshingly realistic for one of aang's friends. he keeps the fire nation on its toes at the negotiating table but he's also the first to point out when a potential proposition - when anyone's potential proposition - has more logical holes than a piece of honeycomb. i think mai appreciates that perspective. and i think they could slowly and gradually go from personality clashing to building this begrudging friendship where mai will never openly admit that she likes him, where sokka will still grate but in a way that becomes almost familiar and comfortable because of that, and where - especially in a situation where they have to work on a project together - they're a formidable team. a difficult friendship but eventually could be a dear one.

mai & katara: another personality clash that becomes a really fascinating friendship. katara wasn't there for boiling rock and is perhaps a bit cool towards mai even understanding what she did there, and the grounds where they most often meet is politics, and they largely are at odds there too. they're interesting parallels, in terms of role - both partners of powerful world leaders, but while mai positions herself as a vital support and power behind zuko's regime, furthering that goal, katara loathes to be associated with aang simply because of their romantic relationship, and does not envision their relationship to be a political one: aang and katara stand independent, but with shared values and goals (and perhaps katara simply does not understand why mai takes the position she does regarding politics and relationships). their actual political approach wildly differs, with katara being an impassioned idealist who is the most radical out of the gaang, whereas mai is a pragmatist - much more concerned about the feasibility of the radical ideas proposed and sees herself occupying the role of a much needed skeptic who asks 'okay, but how are we going to do this?' in a group of radicals. this does lead to some fierce clashes actually - some of katara's proposals appear outlandish to mai, and katara interprets this as fire nation indoctrination and ideological conditioning limiting her perspective (and honestly neither are completely wrong - mai can be on occasion perhaps too conservative and cynical and that is often because her upbringing has limited her scope, and katara sometimes isn't fully aware of how feasible her ideas are and leaves practical concerns to others). I think despite this they have such a deep respect for each other - and that's in part why their arguments are so impassioned, because they both fundamentally know the other comes from a good place. mai saved katara's brother's life at boiling rock, and katara saved mai's partner during the final agni kai - they have both proven to each other the extent of their commitment and cared for another they care about deeply. they're the biggest idealism vs. cynicism clash but honestly over time i think the respect only grows over time despite periods of hot and cold. I'd like to think if katara ever has relationship difficulties with aang, after her gran's, it's mai whose advice she might respect the most - after all, it's mai who understands what it's like to date someone who is a world leader, and mai absolutely believes in having firm, healthy boundaries and little tolerance for sufferring for men in relationships. I think given their positions they're often in dialogue and in conversation and end up building the most unexpected but also rock solid friendship. they *would* take a bullet for each other, i am sure of it.

mai & toph: i love these two. an incredible friendship. mai takes to toph the quickest out of aang's friends. it makes sense - toph comes from a similar class and upbringing as mai, albeit has taken a different life path and expresses herself completely differently, and i think while surprised and thrown at first by toph's bluntness, mai sees that and not only respects but honestly just loves how toph is a little crass, and doesn't hold decorum as the be all and end all. I think the age difference here actually makes a difference - mai very much sees toph as a younger peer (and eventually, much like zuko, a younger sibling), and while it can be sad to see someone from a younger generation express themselves freely in a way that mai feel she can't, i think her joy at seeing that takes precedence here over any mixed feelings. mai pretends not to be amused at toph's antics (but quietly delights at them) and absolutely is the person who will get the authorities that be in the fire nation to look away from whatever misdemeanours she's committing at any given time (indeed, mai as often been a partner in crime - actually, speaking of, she's been surprised before to see katara also partake with toph, and it was an ice-breaking moment for them, probably one engineered by toph). that said, mai absolutely does not patronise toph, gives it to her straight, will also tell toph when she's going too far or pushing the limit, something toph deeply respects and values. mai can see toph's wisdom and her strong intuitive understanding of how others feel, and admires that, as well as the kindness toph shows (i would not be surprised if mai looks at toph and wants to be a little more like her). I also think mai's sardonic and biting sense of humour is best appreciated by toph out of aang's friends (sokka also finds it very funny, but sokka is also trying hard to get mai to like him, as aforementioned). mai and toph vibe together *so hard* and *so well* (something i think zuko is quietly deeply grateful for, since mai hasn't clicked as well with the rest of the gaang, but also because he views toph like a little sister too).

mai & suki: right! so this one is complicated. mai does not see suki as often as the rest of the gaang - she sees katara and aang often for political reasons, at summits and keets and so on, sokka keeps in touch often and is constantly sending letters, and toph will just turn up unannounced and will stay for several weeks to "relandscape" the fire nation gardens (so she claims) every year or so. I am sticking to show canon here but reject the comics canon - there is no way in hell suki ends up as a bodyguard for zuko, the kyoshi warriors have better things to be doing. so! while mai absolutely saved the teal at boiling rock and suki knows this, the fact that they see each other relatively little mean things are a bit... cool between them? Not quite cold, but there's a degree of awkwardness that mai works past with the others that takes longer with suki. I honestly don't know if suki knows how she should feel about mai? like ty lee not only helped at boiling rock but then went on to work with the warriors and suki very much sees someone who wants to prove herself and right those wrongs in ty lee (as well as someone who is running away but. that's another post). mai completed step 1 and 2 with boiling rock, but hasn't... done anything after that. and on paper they're cool and she knows it but... idk if she knows how to feel? it's a bit weird. a bit awkward and weird. it's possible suki holds more of a grudge than she's willing to admit (she's been most directly wronged by mai and ty lee after all) and the fact that mai has returned to the fire nation, and been, according to katara, disappointingly conservative at times, makes her question what boiling rock meant. suki is cordial and professional around mai but doesn't really know her that well and doesn't trust her as much as the others. mai doesn't particularly care either way and will take or leave friendship with suki (though mai, to be clear, does respect suki immensely as a warrior). the key factor here is ty lee, honestly. i think the two of them could have an excellent relationship if so inclined but it would apmost definitely be due to ty lee trying to prod them into getting along and hanging out and getting to know each other - because i think they're both practical minded, no-nonsense girls who are exceptionally skilled in martial arts and if nothing else they could bond theough sparring sessions, but i think they'd also just get along splendidly if they had the chance. suki just doesn't quite trust mai and mai making those personal amends isn't a priority when she's trying to stop zuko running the fire nation into the ground.

[youuuimeanmee]

Eren Meta From 139

Many people believe chapter 139 butchered Eren's character because of this scene.

Because out of nowhere, Eren's motivation is to reach Mikasa's choice to satisfy Ymir's wish; thus, everything he said from the beginning about his motivation is all lies or meaningless.

No. And I'm no writing this to justify or condemn him. This post is more for myself, because I'm trying to understand his character.

Now let's see at his words. "All of it, was to arrive at that result. That's why I moved forward." What does he mean by it? Which actions?

This.

All the events, starting from ch 123-139, are going according to Ymir's wish.

Right after Eren told her to decide for herself.

She wants to end the world, at least 80% of it. She wants to push Eren's friends to stop him, even if they have to betray their nation. The Battle of Heaven and Earth, all of the clusterfucks in chapter 135-138 happens because it's Ymir's will to push Mikasa to make a choice. She chooses to end the titan curse after she gets to see what she wants.

Ymir did all of this, she watched all the events that unfold because Eren released her.

Then, what about Eren's will?

This is why I'm okay with the idea of Eren following Ymir; Eren doesn't have a reason to reject Ymir's wish because he got what he wants. He got the future he saw on the medal ceremony, the eradication of titans. He got the "freedom" to flatten the earth, and if his gamble paid off, he'd get his friends' safety; because they will become the world's savior after they stop him. It's a win-win situation, thus, putting him in a position where he becomes Ymir's ally and stands by her side.

The reason why Ymir chose Mikasa is not clear, but Eren had a hunch and it's something he could relate to; another reason for him to not object to Ymir's wish. It has something to do with that day when Mikasa practically confessed her love for him, the day where he could use the Founder's power for the first time. I leave this scene up to your interpretation.

What about Eren's will from before 123? What did he try so hard to achieve?

This scenery. Aside from the eradication of titans.

Here's the thing. Doesn't matter if fate favors you or not, you have to work hard to get what you want. To work hard, you need to know the reason. I take Isayama's artistic choice that the future memories he saw are fragments without context; he doesn't know why it happens the way it would. So, even if he saw the scenery, even if he saw the eradication of titans, why he has to go to hell first? Why he has to go through all of the suffering? Why he has to keep moving forward? He doesn't have to; but the world, destiny or whatever keeps feeding him reasons to move forward, until he reached a conclusion that the titan world is fucked up system and has been going for far too long. For Eren, this needs to end, and he wants to reach that scenery no matter what.

This is the man who saw how unforgiving the outside world is. The fact that a little girl got eaten by dogs just because she's an Eldia is proof that a subject of Ymir can never gain freedom, can never gain the privilege of human rights the way a normal human does. (I suggest you to read Gross' monologue from ch 87). The man saw how the world keeps pushing Paradis to be the source of evil without listening to what the other parties have to say. The man is manipulated to euthanize his own people as if Eldia doesn't deserve to be born. He saw the fucked up history of titans from 2000 years ago. He was so disappointed the world is not like in Armin's book, it's not like his ideal world. So he wants to wipe it away. He wants to bury the history and the civilization that created it, deep to the ground. He wants to destroy every last one of those animals, that's on this earth; titans or humans alike. He wants to leave the surface a blank plain. This is his ideal world, his freedom.

Eren said it himself. Even if he didn't know that his friends would stop him; even if it's not Ymir's will, he'd still trample the earth. To me, the reason why Eren commit genocide, the reason he said to Armin is no different than the reason he said to Zeke.

It's just the way he is ever since he was born.

A freedom seeker.

The wording is different with the receiver. With Zeke, it's different, because he's trying to make a point that this is who he is. But with Armin? He is going to die, with his best friend as his judge. He knew exactly why he wanted it: because he is free, ever since he was born. But somehow he couldn't say it outright with confidence. Maybe he's afraid to be judged as a monster by the person closest to him, or maybe he started to question his definition of freedom. Because to me, his eyes look like wonders.

Now. What is freedom? Many people believe that any acts out of violence is not freedom. But to Eren, that is freedom, his freedom. There's a meta that perfectly explains Eren's version of freedom, up until he did the rumbling. This is my highlight from that meta:

So freedom is the power of the individual to do as one wants. When you do something, you are imposing your internal desires onto the external world. If freedom is thus the power to impose your individual Will onto the outside world, then whoever has more power has more freedom.

This concept was highlighted when he told his friends in Paths that he's free to destroy the world and they're free to defend it; meaning that they're bound to clash, and they have to fight.

Freedom is not good. Nor is it bad. It is a force beyond good and evil, and that is precisely why it is terrifying. This, I believe, is why so many baulk at the idea that such a ruthless manipulator could be the avatar of freedom in this story. What I have always loved about SNK is how it delves ever deeper into its themes as the story goes on and discovers such fundamental paradoxes that your understanding of the idea is changed forever. If this is the horrifying face of freedom, perhaps we should not be free.

I don't know how much Isayama's involvement in this, but Grisha's commentary from the Lost Girls captures this concept perfectly.

For Eren, that "great power" is his own concept of freedom: A world without oppression. Doing what you want to do. He's free to protect his homeland by whatever necessary, whatever cost, and leave the rest of the world as an open plain.

Usually, the more we're obsessed with something, the more we stray from our humanity. After witnessing firsthand the vision-he-so-called-freedom, he doesn't know how to feel. He gets what he wants, but he's not happy at all, only the hollow scenery remains.

Eren realized how messed up he is, even before he did this. He tried to reach out to Mikasa that night after he saved Ramzi, to save his humanity left. It's one of the reasons why he asked her, "what is he to her?" Surely if he was loved –even after he killed those men when he saved her that day– would mean he's still human, right? And by running away with her, he could live in peace, maybe he could free himself from his obsession. But he's doing it so half-heartedly, that when everyone interrupted them, he just... let it go. He didn't bother to sneak with her or anything. He couldn't let go of the future he saw, he's losing himself to his desire/inner demon, to his obsession of freedom. Or maybe he's winning over his pathetic self so he could focus on what he needs to do? One could interpret this scene as Eren trying to break free from his obsession for "freedom." One could interpret this scene as Eren trying to break free from the shackles of his conscience. It's up to you.

Eren's outburst over Mikasa in this chapter is his pent-up feeling over her. It is, but after I write this meta, maybe it's more than that. It's because she's the proof of his humanity left. Many, many times, Mikasa is there to stop him from ruining himself. Mikasa's love creates a subconscious understanding that she will always be there for him. That's a part of her that he loves, and by feeling love, it means his humanity still exists. If Mikasa chooses to move on with another man, it means she will forget all the times they had together, she will forget the most human side of him. The only person who loves him as who he is, his home, would be lost. He would be lost. That idea scares him, even though he knows he doesn't deserve her love after everything he has done.

One more thing; another reason why Eren doesn't mind to be stopped, aside from Ymir's wish will get him what he wants –as I already explained. People argue that the conflict won't end until Paradis or the rest of the world remains; thus, Eren's half-hearted genocide is meaningless. No. No matter how angry he is that he wants to eradicate everything, he has enough maturity to understand, even back from the Battle of Trost, that humanity is far from united even if they're faced against a threat beyond human understanding. During the after-party night before the Battle of Shiganshina, he accepts that great power comes from joining ourselves together. We all need to find our own roles. Humans are created differently, because of times like this. By sparing the rest of the world, it keeps both Paradis and the world from collapsing. By keeping the diversity of people, someday it will open a path for peace because it's a part of human nature to try to understand each other; he learned it from the SC. Eren believes Armin could take him there, after he died. Maybe he forgot all of that because he's too caught up in his hate and anger up until 122, the same way he forgot back in the days.

Even if it's not explicitly explained in this chapter, I'd like to think that Eren got plenty of time to reflect on this matter when he did the Rumbling, to fill the emptiness he felt after he reached what he wants wanted.

Eren wins in the end, but at what cost? This chapter is calling out his tyrannical mindset, and it's great to see him realized his error, even if it's too late for him to go back.

Maybe this is what Isayama decided to focus on the last chapter, even if it's rushed. Maybe he (or his editor, idk) wanted the ending to focus on the protagonist's story about humans vs titans. The way Eren is so determined to wipe it out from this world, no matter how messed up his method, no matter how much he suffers, it doesn't matter if it's predestined or not. Because "freedom" is what he seeks ever since he was born. Because Eldia, every person deserves to be born in this world. Yes, every person, including everyone he killed. He knew the gravity of his action and choose to accept his death. Maybe it's the reason why Isayama doesn't delve into the aftermath of genocide further.

He wants the ending to be about Eren Yeager, The Attack Titan's journey about Attack. On. Titan.

[blacknight1230]

The Past Catches Up With You

OUAT Peter Pan Imagine

Prompt: “I know what I have to do. But going back means I’ll have to face my past. I’ve been running from it for so long” & “Once you’re grown up, you can never come back.” 

The sound if arrows flying through the air then hitting their target and the clashing of swords filled the area. “Nice one, Devin. Now try letting go of the arrow when you breath out,” you instructed one of the Lost Boys. Devin wordlessly nodded and did what you told him, his arrow hitting the target dummy straight in the head. “Excellent work. Rufio, don’t do such fancy moves. It’s about hitting the target in the weak points, not showing off,” you commanded. “Whatever you say, mom,” Rufio sassed, ignoring your helpful tips. You narrowed your eyes at him and strode up to him, quickly knocking him off his feet with a few well placed punches and kicks. “And this is why Pan ordered me to train you boys. You guys are good fighters, but he wants the best, so you either listen to what I say or you’ll end up worse than this,” you scolded the dazed teen. You walked away, towards Pan’s second-in-command, and one of your best friends, Felix. 

“Nice way to show them who’s boss, (y/n),” Felix complemented as he sharpened his sword. “Thanks, Felix. These boys have sure have authority problems when it comes to someone other than Pan giving them orders,” you said, sitting next to Felix on a log. “They listen to me, though,” Felix pointed out. “True. I have theory that they don’t respect me as much cause I’m the only girl here. And I happen to be one of Pan’s most trustworthy,” you told the scar-faced teen. “It’s possible. The boys aren’t too keen on newcomers. You being a girl doesn’t make matters better.” You rolled your eyes; you’ve been here for a couple of years, but time on Neverland was different than everywhere else. “I’ve earned this position despite being a girl. They should know that Pan doesn’t just trust me without a proper reason,” you said, crossing your arms in front of your chest. “Speak of the devil,” Felix said, motioning his head towards a figure appearing from the green foliage. 

Peter Pan stood to the side of the training ground, eyes intensely watching the boys as they practiced archery, swording fighting, and sparring. Authority and dark magical power radiated from his figure, his green eyes glowing as they seemingly stared into the very existence of his Lost Boys. He was expressionless as he mentally noted what the boys were doing wrong and right. The sight before you made you feel warm, but you tried not to show how the piper affected you. Said boy locked eyes with you, a smirk breaking out onto his lips as he strode over to you. “Tired, love. Are the boys too much for you to handle?” he teased, raising one magnificently sculpted eyebrow. “More like they can’t handle me. Rufio over there is still bandaging his hurt pride when I knocked him to the ground for back talking,” you chuckled, eyeing said boy. He was grumpily pouting on a wooden log across from where you were. Peter found this rather amusing, a sly smirk on his face. “His loss, love. Come, I think the boys had enough training for today,” he said, getting up from the log. He whistled loudly, getting all the, boys attention and told them, “Alright, boys training’s over! Get back to camp if you want your fill of dinner before its gone!” 

A stampede of hungry, teenage boys rushed towards the main camp, dirt and dust flying as they did so. You camly got up and followed the horde of Lost Boys, used to their frenzied antics. Peter walked alongside you, as you took your time walking the path back to the main camp. “I’m still surprised you can put up with our rowdiness. Being a princess and all, I’d expect you complain endlessly about how ‘wild’ we are,” Peter said as you traveled through the jungle of Neverland. “Hey, I was a rebel princess. If I wasn’t, I wouldn’t even be here,” you defended yourself, punching the King of Neverland playfully, but hard, in the arm. Pan allowed you to hit him, as you knew he could easily stop you, and playfully cried out in pain. 

Before you were the first Lost Girl on Neverland, you were a princess, although not first in line to inherit your kingdom. Unlike the other inhabitants of Neverland, you were not from the Enchanted Forest or the Land Without Magic. You were a princess from another dimension, and you hated your royal roots. You hated the stuffy dresses, the countless rules, the strict and stone faced members of the royal house ... hell, you couldn’t even talk to or hang out with anyone that wasn’t humanoid or a royal non-humanoid from an allied kingdom. Like the monsters that were repressed by your people. It was suffocating and you didn’t conform to your families strict ideals. 

As such, your family finally had enough of your “rebelliousness” and decided to send you off to an institution know for “correcting” wayward princesses. You, in turn, had enough of royalty and fled your home without a word, seeking out the freedom you dearly longed for. Eventually, you found your way to Neverland, encountering Pan and his Lost Boys, who met your arrival with them encircling you with weapons drawn, aimed to kill. The only reason you were still alive today was that you were able to hear Pan’s flute, meaning you were lost, and therefore part of the Lost Boys. It took awhile for everyone to trust you, especially Pan, but it happened and you were never felt more like you were home. 

Back to the present, you and Peter finally reached the main camp, a raging bonfire going on in the middle of the layout of tents and huts. The boys were either chowing down or were dancing to the beat of the drums. Peter left you to go include himself in the boys merry making as you grabbed a bite to eat. Grabbing a slice of meat from the day’s hunt, you silently greeted a few of the boys with a raise of your cup. The younger boys dragged you to sit with them, happily chatting away as they told you about their day. 

Soon you were done with your meal and the music called to you. Like you were under a spell, you jumped into the frey of wildly dancing bodies, letting the music guide your movements. You danced freely with your fellow lost brothers, your mind focusing on the sound of the pan flute and the drums. As you danced around the fire, you saw Peter staring intensely at you with his green eyes, the light of the bonfire casting shadows across his face, intensifying the strikingness of his attractive features. You couldn’t help but keep his gaze as you danced, enjoying the way he was looking at you with such intensity, an undistinguishable emotion flowing in his eyes. 

Unfortunately, the party was interrupted by a loud sound and a bright light. Everyone stopped in the middle of what they were doing, staring at a hole ripped into the fabric of space and time right near the center of the campgrounds. The portal seemed to shine brighter as two figures appeared from the other side of it. As they stepped through, the portal closed behind them, allowing you to see their features now that the unnatural brightness was gone. One of the figures was a teenage boy, characterized with tan skin, dark brown hair, and a mole on his right cheek. He was wearing red hoodie over a light grey shirt, dark grey skinny jeans, and olive/white sneakers on his slender build. His brown eyes eyed the Lost Boys nervously, his hand twitching over the hilt of the sword in his sheath. The other figure was a teenage girl with long blonde hair, light blue eyes, and fair skin. On her head, she wore a magenta headband with devil horns, paired with a green and mint collared short sleeved dress, pink and purple striped leggings, white boots with pink tips and a star on each heel, along with a black spider necklace. But the most astonishing part about the girl was the pink heart shaped marks she had on her cheeks. 

Peter and the Lost Boys immediately surrounded the two newcomers, weapons pointed at them. “Who the hell are you and what are you doing on my island?” Peter growled. The boy immediately pulled out his sword and took a defensive stance. The girl on the other hand, raised her hands up and yelled, “Stop! We’re not here to hurt anyone! We’re just looking for someone!” Peter dismissed her claim, saying, “Whoever you are looking for is not here! Now leave before my boys and I make you wish you never stepped foot here!” The boy raised their weapons, slowly drawing closer to the new girl and boy. The girl now raised her up hands up and took a defensive stance, her hands glowing purple with magic. 

Before any violence could come to a head, you shouted a command out to the Lost Boys and Peter, breaking the tense air. “Everyone put your weapons down!” you shouted, voice strong and dominating. The Lost Boys, confused by the order, slightly lowered their weapons and allowed you to walk through the crowd of them to the new visitors. As you showed yourself to the newcomers, the blonde haired girl’s eyes widened and her mouth dropped open in shock. “ (Y/n)?” the girl said. “Star,” you said breathlessly, unable to bite back the smile that made its way to your face. Star’s hands stopped glowing and she tackled you ina hug, which you gladly returned. “Um, what’s going on?” the hoodie wearing boy asked, completely clueless. “Marco, this is my cousin I told you about? I’m pretty sure I told you about my favorite family member,” Star explained, looking at her friend while still holding on you. 

“Oh, isn’t this precious,” Pan sneered, interrupting the moment. “A family reunion. How wonderful that they’ve come to visit.” You decided to ignore Peter and his terrible attitude, continuing to talk to your four-years younger cousin. “How did you find me, Star? Neverland isn’t on any map and can’t be visited through ordinary means,” you asked. “I was able to use your old tiara to finding out what dimension you were in! Pretty cool right,” Star bragged a giant smile on her face. Before you could say another word, Peter got in between the two of you, creating a distance of a few feet. “Peter!” you exclaimed angrily. “What the hell?” “I don’t care that you’re her family. I want you off my island. (y/n) has already told me about the way you treated her and I don’t want someone like you here because of it,” he coldly told Star. “Hey, man, back off!” Star’s friend, Marco, yelled stepping in front of Star protectively. The Lost Boys didn’t like this, murder in their eyes as they crowded around you four, fingers itching to use their weapons. “Everyone stop! I don’t want any fighting!” you shouted, dreading for any blows coming to a head. The Lost Boys slightly calmed down, but they were still tense. 

“Peter, Star was the only one in my family that I could be myself around. I see I rubbed off on you a bit,” you said. “You guys keep talking about our family as if they were abusive, keeping you locked up and so on,” Star pointed out. “I forget you were too young to understand at the time. Grandma Etheria and the rest of the Butterfly family constantly looked down at me, finding fault in everything I did. I didn’t dress right, talk right, sit right, walk right ... and they let me know. It practically destroyed my self-esteem. And to make matter worse, Grandma Etheria decided to send me to St. Olga’s,” you explained to your younger cousin. “Oh no, not St. O’s!” Star exclaimed in horror. “Please don’t tell me they tried to turn you into a mindless ‘perfect’ princess!” As she said this, she grabbed your forearms and shook you a bit. “Calm down, Star, I didn’t go to St. O’s. I left home before I was forcibly shipped off. I had a pair of dimension scissors and used them to hop from dimension to dimension until I eventually found my way here,” you continued, smiling when you reminisced about finding Neverland, your true home. 

“I’m happy you found a place you could finally be yourself. If I wasn’t so desperate for your help, I wouldn’t even ask you this,” Star said. This worried you; what did she want you to do? Star quickly answered your question before you voiced it, saying, “I need you to come back to Mewni with me.” “What?!” you shouted, eyes wide and mouth agape. “I’m sorry, but I really need your help! My mom has disappeared and I can’t find her, the Butterfly castle and kingdom are destroyed by Eclipsa’s half-monster daughter and she escaped her crystal! I can’t do this on my own and everything is in disarray!” Star cried. 

All this new information shocked you, making you stand there in silence. Peter decided to step in, angrily setting in Star’s face. “You might be royalty, but I’m the king here. I say who steps foot on and leaves my island. This includes (y/n). Since she’s lost, that means she belongs here and with me. Shfe’s mine, and she’s not going anywhere off this island,” he threatened. Star stood her ground, staring into his harsh green eyes that seemed to glow with dark power. “Then you don’t know (y/n), because she hates other people making choices for her.” She turned towards you and continues, saying, “(y/n), I’m sorry for our family treating you so terribly and I understand your reason for running away. But I still care for you and so does my mother, both of us missing you terribly when you left. If you still love us as much as we love you, I beg you to help me. I need you, my mom needs you, Mewni needs you!” 

(y/n) could only stand there in silence, which Peter mistook for her not wanting to return to her home, while in reality she was pondering over her beloved cousin’s words. “Get off my island. I never want to see your faces again,” he threatened, before whistling loudly, causing the Lost Boys to snap into a a violent, wild frenzy. The area was quickly filled with the sounds of weapons clashing, cries of pain, and angry shouts as Star and Marco fought the Lost Boys. Luckily, Star and Marco were successfully able to defend themselves, despite being greatly outnumbered. Star’s voice filled the air as she shouted spells and Marco yelled as he used karate moves/defended himself with his sword. You tried yelling at both sides to stop fighting, but neither side listened to you, either not hearing you over all the noise or not caring enough to listen to you. This made you angry, so angry you used your magic to cast a powerful spell to end the violence. 

Unlike Star, you didn't need to verbally say a spell to use your magic, simply sending out a wave of bluish-white magic to emit from your magically glowing figure. As the wave of magic hit the Lost Boys, Peter, Star, and Marco, they were enveloped into a quartz of crystal, frozen in place. You sighed as you stood past the crystal prisons of your fellow Lost Boys, stopping at Peter’s crystal, staring at his evil smirk on his face and the magic accumulated in his hands. “You just couldn’t wait and let me think for a moment could you, “ you said sadly. You used your magic to reverse the spell, and on Star and Marco as well. The three teens fell to the ground, gasping for breath. “I’m so sorry, guys. This was the only way to get you to stop fighting and listen to me,” you apologized, helping Star up first. “Was that the Crystal Imprisonment Spell that Rhombulas uses? Where did you learn it?” Star asked, amazed that you could do such advanced magic. “Glossaryck used to give me private lessons. He said that I needed to learn magic, too, in case something happens. But he wasn’t specific on what that was,” (y/n) explained. “That sounds like Glossaryck.” 

You turned towards Peter as he growled, getting up from the ground and his green eyes trained on you. “You little ... How dare you use your magic on me!” he yelled, “Release the Lost Boys right now (y/n)!” “You left me no choice, Peter. You all were attacking my family and I couldn’t just stay by,” you said sternly, brows furrowed as you scolded him. “How can you defend them? They’re the main reason why you are on Neverland in the first place! Or haven’t you forgot that?” Pan seethed. “I haven’t forgotten what they did to me, Pan. But this just isn’t about my family anymore. My homeland is in danger and you’re wrong to think I’ll just sit around and watch shit hit the fan!” you yelled, turning around to walk away, thinking that was the end of it. But it wasn’t and Pan wanted to let you know it. “Oh really? Well, know this, princess, you’ll eventually be disappointed as nothing is going to change. You’ll still be the miserable, insecure, little girl you were when you came here, scrutinized by your family and your people,” Peter threatened, teeth clenched and pure hatred seeping from his pores. 

You stopped, back still facing Peter. Said boy smirked, thinking he won this argument. But what you said surprised the male, saying, without looking at him, “I know what I have to do now, Peter. I know going back means I’ll have to face my past. I’ve been running from it for so long but I have to face it sooner or later. And I choose now.” Pan stood there shocked, mouth open a bit as he contemplated your words, and watched as Marco effortlessly opened a portal to another dimension with a pair of scissors, then entered the hole in the fabric of time and space while mumbling about ‘nachos,’ whatever that was. Star on the other hand, nervously looked behind her at Peter, seemingly contemplating if taking (y/n) away from her current home was a good thing, before regretfully entering the swirling portal. 

Before the (h/c) haired girl followed the two, she turned her head to the side, looking at so called King of Neverland. “I promise I’ll come back as soon as I can, Peter, to my home, the Lost Boys, and you,” she said, so much raw emotion held in her eyes. But Peter didn’t care, only focussing on the frustration that took over his heart and mind. “I forbid you from leaving, (y/n)! When you leave this island, you’ll eventually grow up, and once you’re grown up, you can never come back!” he shouted angrily. (Y/n) physically flinched and quickly turned her head back towards the portal, trying not to show the tears in the corners of her eyes. “Goodbye, Peter. Until we meet again.” And with those words, she stepped through the portal and left Neverland, seemingly forever. 

As the portal closed behind her, (y/n)’s magic seemed to leave with her, as the crystals imprisoning the Lost Boys started to melt, freeing them from their containment. Felix was the first to get his bearings, stroding over to Peter and placing a hand on his shoulder, said King of Neverland not tearing his eyes away from the spot in which (y/n) walked into the portal. “Pan, what happened? Where’s (y/n) and the other two?” Felix asked his fearless leader, a scowl on his scarred face. “She’s gone, Felix. She left Neverland,” Peter told his second-in-command emotionlessly. 

Before the taller male could question him some more, the green-clad boy turned and walked away from the center of the campgrounds, towards his own private tent. Felix knew he was taking the Lost Girl’s departure harder than he let on. But he gave his trustful leader some space, allowing Peter to let his emotions loose in private. “(Y/n), I hope you know what you’re doing,” Felix said quietly to himself, before moving to help his fellow Lost Boys recover from the recent events.

~ Time Skip ~

“Again! I expect you to redo everything until you lot get this right! I have no excuse for weak, boys in my army of Lost Boys!” Peter seethed. It was several months, possibly a year, since (y/n) left Peter and Neverland. At first, Peter was angry, at (y/n) and her cousin, for leaving Neverland. Then, he was angry at himself for letting the Lost Girl leave, thinking he should have done everything he could from letting the girl leave. Eventually, Peter’s anger faded away and was replaced with a longing to see his favorite girl again. It was only until (y/n) left did Peter realize he felt something for the rebel princess, seeing her more as just another inhabitant of Neverland and a pawn in his games. And when he realized this non-platonic feelings, he regretted being so heartless to (y/n) before she left, hating himself for letting that be the last thing he ever said to the (h/c) haired girl. 

Since (y/n) left Neverland, Peter changed, unfortunately for the worse. He was harsher and more cruel towards his Lost Boys and those that had the misfortune of being his enemy. All Pan cared for now was power, stopping at nothing to increase his magical strength by achieving immortality, regardless of the lives he had to take. And that meant he was setting in motion the events that would lead to taking the heart of the Truest Believer from a young boy to remain young forever. 

Hence, the current intense training session the Lost Boys were doing, as Pan need them to be prepared for everything and anything, failure not being an option. “Who knew (y/n) leaving effect Pan this much? He’s been running us into the ground during training even since the girl left him,” Rufio mumbled to a couple of other Lost Boys. Pan heard this, and he did not like it. “What was that Rufio?” he snarled and turned towards the wise-cracking Lost Boy. Rufio’s face paled in fear as Pan strode towards him, his friends that once surrounded him nowhere to be seen, as they fled from Pan’s wrath. 

The poor Lost Boy stood quaking in his boots as the King of Neverland stood in front of him, the slightly shorter leader wrapping a hand around Rufio’s throat, crushing his windpipe and preventing any air from reaching his lungs. Rufio gasped from breath as the other Lost Boys stood there in fear induced silence, unable to do anything but watch. “You’ve been mouthing off too much for my tastes. Looks like I’m going to have to put a stop to it permanently,” Peter growled. He shoved his hand into his chest, fingers wrapping around the boys heart. “Please, no...” Rufio pleaded. 

Pan was just about to rip the boys heart out of his chest and then crush it to dust, when a loud noise and bright light shook the camp site. Everyone turned their heads to the sky, where a giant multicolored portal hung just below the treetops. Something or someone, came out of it, falling to the ground, and the portal closed violently with a loud bang. Peter and the Lost Boys were unable to do anything, as the figure got up from the ground and their features finally revealed by the light of the fire. (H/c) locks framed a (face shape) face, (e/c) eyes looking over everything as a bright smile broke out on the female’s (thin/plump) lips. 

Felix was the first to break the silence, calling out the name of the person. “(y/n)? Is that really you?” the second-in-command asked, shocked that the girl had finally returned to Neverland. “Yeah, it's me,” the former Lost Girl replied a smile on her face. Felix immediately caught the girl in a hug, picking up the (much/slightly) shorter girl in his excitement. It seemed the spell was broken, as the Lost Boys immediately started moving towards the former Lost Girl, chatter filling the silence. 

“Welcome back, (y/n),” Felix said to the girl, after he pulled away from her. “It’s great to be back,” (y/n) replied, her face so full of light and joy. Her (e/c) eyes caught Peter’s, causing the girl to stare straight into the piper’s eyes. He was stunned; here she was, the girl Peter has been obsessing over ever since she left, popping out of the blue, acting as if she never left in the first place. Their longing glaze was broken by a younger Lost Boy tugging on (y/n)’s hand, her attention turning towards the little one. “(Y/n), will you be staying here? Please don’t leave us again,” he said, his voice honey sweet and blue eyes looking at the (h/c) girl with pleading eyes. “Don’t worry, Jack,” (y/n) said, lowing herself so she could be eye level with the young boy. “I won’t be leave you.” 

She rose to her full height and announced with a loud voice, “In fact, I will never have to leave Neverland again. From this moment forward, this island will be my forever home!” The campsite erupted in cheers and howls, all the Lost Boys loudly showing their approval. “If that’s the case then, let’s celebrate! To our one and only Lost Girl!” Felix cheered. As if it wasn’t already possible, the boys got even louder, happily cheering at the chance to party. Peter could only stare on wordlessly, as (y/n) was swept away by several Lost Boys, losing his sight on the magnificent girl. 

~ Time Skip ~

The Lost Boys howled in delight as the drums were banged and the fire in the center of the campsite crackled. Peter watched from the side lines as they danced wildly. But his gaze was focused on one very special dancer. His green eyes followed (y/n), watching every move of her limbs and bend of her body as she danced without a care in the world. She was one with the music as she her body followed the rhythm of the drums. Peter’s eyes caught (y/n)’s (e/c) ones, everything around him seeming to slow down as did so. 

He immediately tore his gaze away from her, pretending to be watching Felix wrestle some unfortunate soul into the dirt ground. In the corner of his eye, he saw (y/n) stop her lively dancing and steadily make his way towards him. Peter felt his breath get caught in his chest as she came closer, but was able to calm himself down before (y/n) got close enough to notice the effect she had on him. 

“Enjoying the party?” she asked him, leaning against the bark of a tree next to him. “Of course. I enjoy seeing my boys let loose for once. The drinks help a bit, too,” he replied, gesturing towards the wooded cup in his hand. (Y/n) gazed out at rowdy group of wild teenage boys in front of her, a closed-mouth smile on her face. “I missed this. The freedom, how carefree everything is, not having any responsibilities,” she admitted. “You missed all of this? Even Rufio’s attitude?” he asked, surprised. 

(Y/n) let out a short laugh, music to Peter’s ears. “Is it so surprising I missed my home. There wasn’t a day where I didn’t long to come back here and just let loose,” (y/n) continued, (e/c) eyes glowing in the firelight as she stared out at the wild party goers. It was silent for a little bit, a hint of awkwardness in the air. “So, um, what exactly happened back on Meowy?” Peter spoke up, desperately trying to break the silence. “Mewni. And so much happened. Everything has changed. And I couldn’t be happier,” (y/n) explained, a smile on her face as she reminisced. “Tell me about it. I’ve never heard of it before.” 

“Well, I won’t go into the long and detailed history, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to hear about that. But I will tell you that Mewni is now unified between its people and the kingdom is in the hands of its true queen,” (y/n) explained as shortly as she could. “Well, that’s good,” Peter replies. A pregnant pause filled the air, until Peter thankfully broke it. “Is what you said before actually true?” he asked, voice barely above a whisper. “What?” you question, thinking you misheard him. “You said would never leave Neverland again? Was that true? Or was that just something you said that was in spur of the moment?” Peter continued. In the back of his mind, he couldn’t believe what she was true. Why would she want to stay here and be with me? he thought. Especially after how I treated her the last time I saw her. “Peter,” (y/n) said softly. “I was serious when I said that. Nothing will make me leave Neverland and you guys again.”

Peter felt his heart stop for moment, in disbelief at what she just told him. (Y/n) turned her kind gaze away from looking down at her hands folded in her lap. “Besides, it’s not like I can return home anyway,” she said softly. “Wait, what?” Peter thought he heard wrong. “It’s no big deal. You already know I never saw Mewni as my home. Neverland is my home. When the chance came for me to spend forever in my homeworld or spend forever here, I made my choice,” she explained nonchalantly. Peter could only open his mouth wide in shocked silence. He never thought she would such a thing. Give up her family and everything she known just to be with for him and the Lost Boys. It was almost insane. 

“You really did all of that? Even after what I said to you before you left?” Peter gaped. “I’m sorry ... for what I said by the way. I wasn’t thinking straight and -” “Wow, the Peter Pan apologizing. To little old me,” (y/n) teased a goofy smile on her face. “Don’t make fun of me. You know I’m don’t ever apologize ” Peter pouted. (y/n) giggled, forcing a hidden smile to make its way to Peter’s lips. “I missed you, you know. Can you believe that?” Peter admitted, trying to hide his warming cheeks. (y/n) was astonished at his confession.“You really missed me? I thought you would have forgotten about me.” “I would never. There wasn’t a day I didn’t think about you,” Peter continued, gently taking the girl’s hands into his. (Y/n) looked down their combined hands, cheeks red at the feeling of Peter’s warm hands. “I did, too. The thought of Neverland and you kept me going. You were my reason to keep fighting, so one day I would be able to return to you.” 

Peter gently placed his fingertips under her chin, directing her downcast eyes to look at him. “(Y/n) ...” he trailed off. He didn't know what he was going to say, his eyes flicking to her luscious soft lips. Peter couldn’t help but subconsciously darted his tongue out to wet his own, longing to meet them with hers. His hand trailed to cup her cheek, enjoying the site of her reddening skin under his rough fingertips. (Y/n)’s luminous (e/c) orbs nervously flew to look back at him, her breathing hitching in her throat. He watched her for a moment, looking for any indication that she was uncomfortable. But there was none, so Peter slowly inched closer, stopping until there was little more than an inch between them. He heart stopped as (y/n) closed the distance between them, the organ soaring at the feeling of her luscious lips on his own. Peter felt her wrap her hands around his neck loosely, his other hand moving to grip tightly to (y/n)’s hip. He could taste the Neverberries from the juice she had before, along with a specific taste he couldn’t quite identify. But he couldn't get enough it, shown by him adding more pressure into the kiss. (Y/n) reacted positively, fingers gripping onto the hairs at the base of his neck, a little mewl coming from her lips as she relaxed into his hold. Peter was just about to kick it up a notch when they were rudely interrupted. 

“Hey, lovebirds! Get a tent will ya?” Felix shouted from across the campfire, hands cupped over his mouth and announcing the scene to everyone. (Y/n) was the first to pull away, face red as the Lost Boys howling once they noticed what their leader and Lost Girl were doing. “Shut up all of you!” Peter hollered at the boys. He was just about to teach them all a lesson when he felt (y/n) lean her head onto his chest. He looked down she was hiding her face in his shirt in embarrassment, the sight causing his heart pang in pity. “Peter, let’s go somewhere else. Please,” (y/n) quietly pleaded. “Alright, dear. Let’s head back to my tent. I still want to be with my favorite Lost Girl,” he whispered in her ear, placing a kiss on her forehead. Peter wrapped an arm around the girl’s waist and gently led her away from the center of camp. The Lost Boys started cheer and make lewd comments, which Peter when stopped at the entrance of his private abode, (y/n) continuing on inside without him. “Not another word from any you, or else I’ll be locking you in the cages for a week!” he threatened, glaring at them with darkness in his eyes. The boys shut up, knowing their leader was serious as they avoided eye contact. “Felix, knock up into shape if anything happens.” The second-in-command smirked, giving Peter a quick wink. The green-clad boy ignored it, heading inside and back to the beautiful girl waiting for him. (y/n) was laying on his fur-covered bed, patiently waiting for him. Peter sighed and crawled next to her, pulling her into arms once he was comfortable. He snuggled into neck, placing soft kisses onto her exposed neck. “Stay with, darling. I want you in my arms tonight,” Peter pleaded, already feeling his eyes close in bliss. “With you. Always.” 

[unloved-cadillac]

Ohhhh, what about Headcanons of mikoto and yashiro With a Fem!S/O who is an expert in weapons, like....She uses her weapons to defend herself and stay alive, and at the moment of using them she doesn't even flinch, but then she falls to the ground agitated and scared, entering a stress attack that ends in tears. thanks for seeing this

HCs on Mikoto and Yashiro with a S/O who stresses herself when she uses her powers too much.

❤️Mikoto: 𝕿𝖍𝖊 𝕽𝖊𝖉 𝕶𝖎𝖓𝖌🥀

Y/n was his ideal woman. Strong, independent and caring.

But it wasn’t until a fight with sceptor four did he see her break.

Munakata decided to go for her first. Mikoto’s weakness. Drawing his sword, he starts attacking Y/n. But she had her own toys.

Pulling out two swords, with a ragged edges, she fights him.

Dodging here and there, Mikoto could tell she had this fight.

But Munakata broke her left sword and unarmed her right. Not delaying by a second, Y/n pulls out a gun and shoots at him.

Munakata cuts the bullets until she ran out. And again, pulling out butterfly knives she throws it at him finally catching him on his shoulder.

Sceptor Four and HOMRA members stopped fighting each other and watched the red queen against the blue king.

Watching him fall, HOMRA cheers for Y/n making Mikoto smile as he lights a cigarette. But the cheers stop when she collapses too.

Mikoto throws his cigarette away and runs to her.

“Shit. Y/n. Y/n, hey”, he taps her cheek.

She’s shivering. Almost sizure like.

“I-I can’t. Mi-Mikoto. S-stop it. It hurts.” She curls herself into a ball and yells loudly. So loud you could here it everywhere.

“AHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!”, she yells and holds her body to stop shivering. Mikoto is shit scared. HOMRA has never seen their king this panicked before.

“Izumo, get the car.”

Carefully holding her, shushing her and drying her tears, Mikoto takes her back home. She was passed out by the time she was at the bar.

Two days later, Y/n wakes up in a warm bed with a cloth on her forehead.

She quickly wakes up and runs to the bathroom, throwing up in the toilet. Ah shit.

Hearing noise from their bedroom, Mikoto enters and hears Y/n in the bathroom.

He sits on their bed, patiently waiting for her.

Coming out the bathroom, she sees him. Instantly she starts crying and apologizing.

“Koto, I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to..-“, but she’s silenced when she feels arms wrap around her.

“Idiot, what are you apologizing for? Come back to bed and tell me what the hell happened.”

Explaining her power to make weapons and the outcome of it. How making weapons takes time and her energy. But the bigger the weapons, the more energy she uses. Mikoto sighs.

“Y/n, you didn’t need to do that. I understand you want to fight, but risking your health isn’t worth anything. You gave me a heart attack.”, he says while cupping her face.

“I’m sorry, Koto.”, she nuzzles into his hands. “Promise you won’t do something so reckless anymore. If there’s a fight, you use your fire. If you can’t, you stand down.” She widens her eyes and protests.

“As your king, I’m ordering you to listen and promise me.”

Now how can she disobey that?

“I promise, Koto.”

He pulls her into a hug then collapses onto the bed with her on his chest.

“Rest now, before the others come and bombard you with questions.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

🤍Yashiro: 𝚃𝚑𝚎 𝚂𝚒𝚕𝚟𝚎𝚛 𝙺𝚒𝚗𝚐🕊

Sparring with Kuroh always made great entertainment for Yashiro and Neko.

Training and having fun while your king watches you.

You and Kuroh were almost done when an intruder enters the building.

“Say, Kuroh. What do think about fighting me? Little brother is such a sore when he loses. I’d love to see that face again.”, Yukari says happily.

“Yukari. Give it up already. Kuroh isn’t going to fight you.”, Y/n says as she produces a long katana matching his. “Because I will.” Y/n jumps to him and clashes with his sword.

“Ahh. The Silver King’s squeeze. How thoughtful. Are you as sore of a loser as Kuroh?”, Yukari pushes her away and flings her sword away from her and laughs.

“Pathetic.”, he says. “I’m not done yet!” Y/n exclaims and pulls out a shotgun. Firing at Yukari, he jumps around the building, avoiding bullets.

But she runs out of bulllets, so she quickly pulls out two pistols and fires. Catching Yukari, Kuroh pins him down and takes his blade, aiming at his throat.

“Get outta here before she kills you.”, he says and pushes Yukari away. “Tch. What a nuisance.” He says and teleports away with his dignity.

Yashiro laughs and looks at Y/n. “Honey?” He calls out to her. She stares and collapses on the floor.

Clutching her head she cries out and yells. Shiro, Neko and Kuroh act fast to her side. Shiro grabs her.

“Y/n! Y/n! What’s happening!? Talk to me.”, he tries speaking to her. “Sh-Shiro! It hurts! I can’t. I can’t!” She chokes out and squeezes her head. “It’s too much!”

Yashiro looks at Neko and she was already ready to take her back to their home.

Y/n screams were playing in his head. Shiro vowed to never let her experience what she just did, ever again. He never wanted to hear her scream like that, ever.

Sitting on the side of their bed, he waits for her to wake. Thinking about how this could’ve happened, he hears her groans.

“Y/n. Darling.”, he says as he sits next her.

“Shiro. I’m so sorry.”, she says softly.

“No. Don’t ever apologize. I’m so glad that you’re okay. Tell me what happened.”

So she does. She tells him that she can produce weapons from her own body but it costs her energy and how she hardly used it because of her stress levels and the pain she endured after.

“Baka. Then why would you almost risk your life for such a petty fight? You scared me, Y/n. I thought I was going to lose you.”, he whispers.

“I’m sorry, darling. I promise I won’t do that again.” She smiles and cups his face. He turns and kisses her palm when they are interrupted by two guests.

“Y/n!!! Oh I’m so happy you’re okay! We were worried sick. My Shiro stayed up all night for you.”, she comes and snuggles next her. “Good to see you’re awake, Y/n. How are you feeling?”, Kuroh asks also sitting on the bed.

“I’m fine. I’m sorry I worried you guys.”

“Now, time for food!”, Neko shouts, causing Kuroh to shush her. Yashiro looks at you and kisses your head. Don’t ever scare me like that again.

———————————————————————

“Wow a first request for K-Project! I really enjoyed writing this. Thanks for the request, anon!”

🖤🤍Thanks for reading🤍🖤

-Caddy.