#or you saw everything and his wings just change all the time. also very real

[whatisamildopinion]

god help me I've finally found a wing design I like. it only took me months. anyway y'all have some aasimar Riz because my au is eating my brain whole!

[xinfinityl0ve17]

Yukari Ōba

Yukari Ōba is the exclusive fashion designer for MALICE MIZER. All of their costumes are her work.

People with titles like "planner," "editor," or "writer" often like to separate their jobs into small roles. As a result, some people end up with two or three titles and end up saying how busy they are. Among them i think the profession of designer is currently being broken down into the most minute distinctions. It’s not just about people who create design sketches, cut fabrics, or shape the garments—there are specialists in hats, accessories, knitwear, and so on. I can understand if someone with a foot fetish only wants to make things related to feet, but recently, something’s been bothering me. It starts with the question of whether it's okay to refer to Ōba-san simply as a "costume designer."

She’s responsible for the image of MALICE MIZER after their revival. Under the name of costumes, accessories, and hairstyling, she handles everything from patchwork to welding (pay attention to KAMI's hands this time) to even the stage props. Can we really call her a "designer" or "costume person" in just one second?

However, as I was agonizing over this, Ōba-san spoke enthusiastically, saying, "This part was really difficult, look at it! Oh, and here too..." She talked joyfully about how she changed the fabrics little by little and factored in lighting effects. She said with a laugh, "People often tell me, 'No one will notice you went that far,' but I love doing it." Through her words, I understood one thing: Ōba-san doesn't care what she's called, as long as she can create costumes. It’s her passion. That's why such lively, remarkable costumes are born from her work.

Mana

Mana had told me, "I imagine the feathers gently falling off!" (laughs). It wasn’t meant to change that much, but after making it, I thought, "I want to make it cuter," partly because too much of the legs were showing. I used a fabric called washer organza for the feathers, and also incorporated it into the underskirt, creating a tutu-like effect with about four layers to add volume. The pom-poms were something Mana brought in, saying, "I want to attach these somewhere," and when he attached them herself, she said, "It's cute!" (laughs). Actually, he also made the wig and chains with his own hands.

The butterflies on the wings aren’t real, of course (laughs), but I dyed each one individually. Even in places where it seems casual, there’s a lot of effort behind it (laughs). The fabric for the costume was something Mana requested, saying he wanted a luxurious material that looks like beads. I brought various options and he was especially fond of this one fabric because it’s very light. He even said, "It feels like I’m wearing nothing, this is perfect!" (laughs). It was a hit (laughs). As for the accessories, he said he wanted something with the feel of a wedding fountain with light shining inside it (laughs). I remade it several times to create something that bounces back when touched.

We also tore up light blue feathers and embedded them. We worked hard on even the smallest details that might seem like nothing at first glance (laughs). To make sure the guitar strap doesn’t get tangled, I discreetly made the wings detachable with Velcro (laughs).

Közi

Közi is someone who likes to plan everything from the start. When I first saw the design, I thought of a fiery phoenix, so I decided to make it based on that image. The fabric is the same as Mana's but in a different color. He said, "I've worn something like this before." This time, he wanted something that resembled a jumpsuit. Even though it has no elasticity, I went ahead and made it, but when he wore it, he said, "It's tight..." (laughs). Even though it was restrictive, he’s someone who enters the role through appearance.

The feathers on the chest were dyed with a gradient because I wanted to add that effect, but balancing it was tricky. While adjusting during the fitting, I mixed in red, which is his signature color. This jumpsuit also has Velcro to make it easier for the guitar strap to pass through. The accessories ended up looking very different from the design sketches because when we attached them to the sleeves, it made playing the guitar difficult (laughs). So, when we finished one sleeve, we decided to wrap it around his neck, creating a more luxurious design. The wings on his back are made from aurora film, which changes color depending on the light, appearing red or gold. The material is aluminum, making it very heavy, but the overall cohesiveness of the costume is strong, so he managed to play with it as it was. As for the strawberry hat, we added three-dimensionality using feathers, doubling its size at Közi’s request.

By the way, when he wears the costume, he’s 196 cm tall, from his shoes to the top of his head (laughs). All the members end up being around that height, right? So we make the inseam 100 cm. People always ask, "Who on earth is going to wear these?" (laughs).

Yu~ki

He had an image of a "beast" in mind, and even Yu~ki himself said, "This is quite an adventure." The skirt was actually his first try—a dress made of enamel, something we figured out together during the fitting process. It’s a double-layered design, with the back being longer and slits cut into it, creating this eerie look. The bones are designed to resemble human bones, adding shadow to enhance the effect. The back is made of two layers of umbrella-like fabric, with a sheer fabric sandwiched in between to create a shadow effect. At first glance, it looks like a single layer, but there's a lot of depth (laughs). In terms of time, his costume was the fastest to make because once Yu~ki decides on a design, he sticks to it.

Yu~ki, from the start, based his look on the initial image and always strives to get as close to it as possible. The hardest part was dealing with the enamel fabric's texture. Although we wanted it to look big, enamel has this shiny, slick look, so we used a technique like gathering to create a pinched effect, making it appear more three-dimensional, even under lights. This time, it's sleeveless, but the tattoos he recently got give it a good balance. However, it seems it takes quite a long time to paint his arms, which is a challenge (laughs).

Kami

For Bel Air, it seems that the design he envisioned was difficult to realize. This time, I adjusted the shape of the collar slightly upwards to make it easier to take off. Since taking off the costume was a concern, I incorporated his favorite Rurubar lace in two layers and embroidered it with CD sequins to give off a subtle shimmer, ensuring that the fans could see the light reflecting off it. The sequins were also added to the wings, inspired by his recent thematic focus. They create a fantastical effect, with a gradient from blue to purple as the light shines on them. The wings are the largest element, but they’re lightweight, which allowed Kami to say, "I want to perform while wearing them" (laughs).

For the headpiece, i dyed a cup and embedded black feathers as an accent giving it a mysterious shape that he can just throw on. Lately, he’s been wanting to wear a pink wig that he bought himself, but it’s a bit too intense, so I’m thinking of adding some mesh to tone it down (laughs). The overall concept was inspired by looking at an insect encyclopedia, specifically butterflies. Additionally as Kami insisted from the beginning, there’s a tail attached (laughs).

Gackt

This time, all the members wanted to have wings, so that served as the basis for the design. The members had very detailed requests, particularly Gackt, who was inspired by his favorite movie, The Crow. He wanted the outfit to highlight his beautiful body lines, so while the design is simple, it also needed to allow for movement. Ideally, I would have preferred a stretchy material, but I was determined to use cotton velvet, which has a dark and moody atmosphere, while also creating the effect of gold shining through the darkness.

The cotton velvet, combined with cut velvet, made sitting difficult for Gackt, but when the light hits it, the gold stands out clearly against the black backdrop. The wings, which he was very particular about, were designed in three layers. When closed, they fold up slightly, but when fully opened, they span 4 meters. For live performances, Gackt uses strings to control them, allowing the wings to spread open. The construction is sturdy, with hidden mechanisms for the strings, making the wings quite heavy. The wings were made using about four different patterns, and sequins were added so that when the light hits them, they appear three-dimensional. We used an incredible amount of feathers for the wings as well.

The end

[lizzyflowers]

I saw that one meme with DS!Nightmare and DS!Dream's faces slapped on pregnant women and it was really cursed, but it got me thinking.. what if it had lore...(aka real)? Something consumed right then and there at that moment and i went to the drawing app(procreate)... now i present you them but with a baby, p.s. this is super self-indulgent Also, this was also inadvertently caused by @1ka0oo when she made a drawing of DS!Nightmare and DS!Dream married lol (on twitter, since it's not posted on Tumblr, her twitter is @ashi_ashily. Go follow her!)(I personally apologise to my mutuals for having to see this but this is the person u followed):

Take what you will from this, the second picture with DS!Nightmare on the bottom right corner is from another timeline. But the other pictures are just him and Dream from the current timeline. Basically, what would happen if they just got married after they reconciled and began to get close.. Well, close enough that they got a baby now. No i will not explain myself, i don't know how my brain works either. More ramblings underneath:

What are the other's reactions to this? Ink is somewhat surprised, Cross is happy for Nightmare but at the same time wants to kill Dream, Error is just happy for them, Blue is... not surprised at all lol. Dream gets teased and bashed a lot by Cross and Error (most of the bashing comes from Cross) and Ink is just trying to process the information given to him right now (probably has a few existential crisis's because wow his boss has a child now does this change anything or what, he was not expecting this, first the marriage now the baby, what's happening anymore). Blue was kind of just waiting for it to happen, he's still somewhat banned from the castle but drops by here and there to talk to Nightmare and congratulate him or bother Dream. Dream immediately kicks Blue out whenever he sees him. Error probably knits clothes for the baby and Cross is going to be the best uncle/second-parent-figure that kid ever has. Random HC (Headcannon): Dream's wings are made of light right? I think that they'd get a flame like appearance to them when he gets incredibly upset or angry or just unstable. And if you're wondering how Nightmare got pregnant, uhhh, he's trans, but also magic, yeah. Nightmare hates everything and everyone because he's tired, he's grumpy and if Blue doesn't shut up he's going to kill him right then and there. He opts for more simpler clothing because he's too tired to clothe himself properly, and maybe he steals Dream's clothes or maybe just anyone's clothes because he just doesn't care at that point... Dream is more irritable but still patient, just very sleep deprived, more than usual anyway. Probably constantly worries about Nightmare and the baby, Nightmare feels a bit smothered by Dream's overprotectiveness but honestly just too tired to care. Oh yeah, that guy that Dream killed in the second drawing? I was originally going to expand on that with Nightmare arguing with Dream because Dream promised he wouldn't kill anyone or execute criminals anymore, but that happened impulsively so yeah..

This is super self-indulgent, i just like imagining them in post-reconciliation scenarios and what would happen if certain situations occurred. I just really like situations where it's just very domestic, or very painful and they're just trying to make do with it and heal from it.

[Fun Fact: It's my first time ever drawing DS! Cross, Error, Ink and Blue so i kinda had trouble figuring out how i wanted to draw them.. In the end i settled for something simple with a few minor changes, not that it's noticeable though]

[homestuckreplay]

New Year, New Trolls

(page 1089-1099)

So far, every scene of Homestuck has taken place on John, Rose, Dave or Jade’s birthday. I’m also really excited that the Dave flashback we got a glimpse of on page 1073 is real and here, even if his city looks miserable in December. And page 1089 includes an absolute top tier line: ‘When [John] sees your staggering gesture of sentimentality he will finally understand. He will understand that in the game of facetious sentimental gestures, no one gets the best of Rose Lalonde.’

It’s also fun learning that both Rose and Dave have changed their desktop wallpapers recently! I’m delighted to know that Rose Lalonde’s previous wallpaper was the official art for the Call of Cthulhu card game – sorry, the Foretelling of Fluthlu card game – with a heavy purple filter applied. I believe this edition is from 2008 and Rose is definitely playing it. Meanwhile, Dave has chosen an officially licensed Starsky & Hutch wallpaper, released by Warner Bros. as promotional material before the movie’s 2004 release. Dave has removed the ‘In Theaters March 5’ but kept everything else identical. Ironically, I’m sure.

John’s Letters

John is the sweetest, and I wish he could see more of his own strengths and wasn’t dunking on his own drawings here. His letters are very different to how he communicates via Pesterchum – he’s expressing feelings towards his friends far more strongly here, and he’s also showing a deeper understanding of them than usual. It must be easier for him to express himself with that extra layer of distance, having time to think about his words and knowing that he won’t get a direct response.

John casually drops that Rose has been his friend ‘all these years’, so they’ve known each other since they were… 8 or 9, maybe? That’s a reasonable age to be on the internet and proficient with typing, and see each other as old friends by 12 or 13. I mean, they’ve probably been friends for 4 years and 13 days at the start of the story, so that fits.

John knowing what a wet T-shirt contest is feels pretty jarring, and totally came from whatever movie he watched the night before writing this. More obviously in character is John saying ‘they're totally authentic! they actually touched ben stiller's weird, sort of gaunt face at some point’ in his December letter to Dave, and then using the exact same phrasing via Pesterchum the following April - ‘you do realize they touched stiller's weird, sort of gaunt face at some point’ (p.110). It’s also extremely heartwarming that Dave immediately takes off the shades that match his brother’s and puts on the new ones he got from his best friend, and then never switches back. John says ‘i think you just gotta get out of your bro's shadow and spread your wings dude!!!’ and Dave actually listens. That’s a hard thing to do all at once, but a big first step, and it only happened because Dave had support from an actual cool person in his life.

Here’s the thing: John loves his friends. Jade’s visions and their importance suggest that a lot of Homestuck is about predestination, and that it’s possible that at least John and Jade’s meeting was fated or engineered. But even if all four kids only met because of something Jade saw in dreams, that doesn’t create love! They’re still the kids who put in the effort to connect despite all their differences and who go above and beyond to care for each other and show love on each other’s birthdays! At this point John knows nothing about any predestination, he just knows that these people mean a lot to him and he wants them to know that.

Act 3 began with a page titled ‘Dear John,’ (p.759), showing us Nanna’s message inside Colonel Sassacre’s tome, and now we’ve got ‘dear rose,’ (p.1091) and ‘dear dave,’ (p.1097), so I am calling it now that the final page of the act will be a Dear Jade.

grimAuxiliatrix

carcinoGeneticist was a very disappointing and uncreative troll when we met on page 859, but grimAuxiliatrix is a master at work, and their pesterlog with Rose is a joy to read. GA’s gambit of claiming to be an alien out of sync with Earth’s time and used to dealing with species of far superior intellect is hilarious, I would actively enjoy getting trolled by them, and of course Rose would be compelled enough by the game to accidentally in some way fall for it. The ‘beginning every word with a capital letter’ is a nice touch that does make them sound more alien. Rose and Dave’s banter is great but I feel like GA challenges Rose more than Dave does, and definitely has a more similar vocabulary. Describing time as ‘A Utility That A Universe May Resort To In Order To Advance A Desired Degree Of Complexity’ is interesting, and suggests the possibility of a universe that does not utilize time – the Incipisphere, perhaps?

It seems like Rose isn’t fully buying GA’s claim to have spoken to future Rose, but we know from her relationship with Jade that she’s not fully closed off to the supernatural, so I’m hoping this previous/next conversation comes around soon.

adiosToreador

While John and Jade’s instincts are to avoid messages from the trolls, Rose and Dave’s are to play the trolls at their own game. Dave and AT’s conversation is equal parts disgusting and disturbing and contains several phrases I wish I’d never read, and hope to never read again. But essentially they’re playing online gay chicken, and Dave is willing to take it much further. GA referred to a group that is ‘All Already In Agreement’, but they could be a leader of the group, and AT a more unwilling follower who doesn’t take to trolling so well. It seems like they’re going for a mix of CG’s aggression and GA’s wordiness and not really succeeding with either, and having this easy target for bullying brings out the worst in Dave, so I’m not on anyone’s side here. They’re both knowingly trying to upset each other, and I think it is believable that they would talk like this, but I don't want any part of it.

This is also, technically, the act’s title page – Dave drops the phrase ‘insane corkscrew haymakers’ towards the end of the page, in a context I don’t especially want to explore in depth. It’s a fun phrase out of context but I too would block Dave for some of the other stuff he says.

Troll Theories

It would be way too much of a coincidence if, in a story where some locations exist ‘untouched by the flow of time’ of others, these trolls were just regular people on Earth making this all up. I personally think the trolls are currently on the ominous planet, and are specifically trying to cause problems for these Sburb players. I’m not sure if they are part of the game – either a random rival group of players admitted to the same session, or a group of NPCs – or if they’re hackers who have infiltrated this session against the game’s wishes. If they are hackers, they could end up being technically ‘good’ if they’re working against Sburb itself, but will probably still have different goals to the kids.

If they’re planted by Sburb and there are twelve of them aligned with the ominous planet, and only four fighting on behalf of Prospit, this could explain why the forces of light are destined to lose. If that’s the case, the game has a social angle – if Rose can convince GA that it’s smarter to fight for the light, and if Dave can bully AT into doing the same, then John and Jade only need to sway one person each for an evenly matched, fair fight. I also think it’s possible that the Midnight Crew is four of these guys, although I don’t have any thoughts as to which, or to who the other eight would be.

> Dave: Break old sunglasses in annoyance.

[wandering-winchesters]

If this is how I go, it’s worth it.

Dean x injured reader

Word count: 1,926

Trigger Warnings: injury, blood, mention of a firearm.

Summary: reader gets hurt protecting Dean.

A/N: Requests are open! Please send them to me. If you’d like to be added to my tag list, please let me know! Masterlist

I’ve always had a hard time letting people into my life. Introducing them to the real me, the darker side of me that I hide behind a bubbly facade. The childhood that shaped me, something that very few people know about. When I was little there was no one to protect me from the things that I had to live through, the nightmarish situations that I still relive too often in my sleep. In adulthood, I’ve changed the narrative. I’ve become the protector, there’s nothing I wouldn’t do to help someone else. Save someone else. Especially those that I love and hold close to my heart.

Sam and Dean have always held a special place in my life. Ever since I met them, on a hunt many years ago. They’d taken me under their wing, Sam willingly, Dean reluctantly. I knew nothing of the supernatural until I was in the wrong place at the wrong time and become the next helpless victim of a nest of vampires. That was until Sam and Dean showed up, just in time.

They knew I didn’t have a great childhood, I’d clued them into that much. However, I would never let them in entirely. It was too much, I didn’t want them to think of me any differently. I’ve seen the way Dean already looks at me after hunts, the annoyance that comes over him when things don’t go the way he wanted. I see the concern that washes over Sam, when I come close to being injured, or when I walk away with cuts and bruises. I don’t need their pity, they don’t need that burden.

Through everything over the years, I began to love them more than I thought possible. Sam like a brother. Dean like an annoying asshole, but also my best friend that I loved with all of my heart, not that I would ever tell him. I couldn’t, he would never feel the same way I was sure of it.

So when I saw that demon smirk and point a gun directly towards Dean’s head, I never hesitated to throw myself onto him and shove him to the ground. My body blocking the path of the bullet, giving Sam enough time to finish the exorcism, the black cloud erupting from the helpless man and fleeing the room.

“What the hell, Y/N. You shouldn’t have done that!” Dean yells, anger etching its way across his face, the concern only evident from the tone of his voice. His eyes searching mine for any sign of pain.

“He was going to kill You Dean.” I grovel, pushing myself off of him, the adrenaline still pumping through my veins. Dean scowls, his hand coming up to his face to wipe some sweat from his brow.

“So what? You were going to sacrifice yourself for me? How much of an idiot are you?”

I roll my eyes at him, pushing off my thighs to stand from the squatting position I had moved into. It wasn’t until I stood fully upright and began to stretch my limbs that the searing pain caught up to me. I press my hand to my abdomen instinctively, trying to dull the pain.

“I’m not an idiot De-“ I stop mid sentence as I bring my hand up to eye level. Red. Dripping , red blood, covers the entirety of my fingers. My eyes dart up from my hand, locking with Sam’s from across the room. He’s staring back at me, shock etched across his face, but beginning to walk towards me.

“That’s debatable- oh my god Y/N, fuck.” Dean starts, his tone changing halfway through his lecture. He takes the two steps necessary to get to me, taking his flannel off in the process. I feel his hands grip my body, one going to my back, the other balling his flannel up and pressing it tightly against the wound in my abdomen.

“Sam, you’ve gotta help me.” Dean pleads, his eyes never leaving my face.

My body starts to feel numb, the adrenaline wearing off and searing pain roaring through every nerve ending in my body. I feel my legs collapse beneath me, Dean quickly compensating for my lack of lower body strength, by pulling me into his embrace.

I laugh bitterly, coughing and choking on what I assume is blood making its way through my lungs and out of my throat.

“If this is how I go De, it’s worth it. I promise you.” I whisper, my eyes locking with his vivid green ones. His eyes. I’d never allowed myself to stare into his eyes for this long, the deep green is enchanting. Pulling me in, the longer I look. I barely even notice my tears beginning to fall, I’m too focused on the way his eyes are beginning to water as he stares back at me.

I can see his lips moving, feel the way he’s shaking me gently, his hand cupping my face. Sam is right next to me too, I feel the floor pressing into my body as they lower me to the ground, in an attempt to slow the bleeding and apply more pressure. None of that matters now. Nothing matters now, my vision is blurring. My eyelids are heavy, so heavy.

“Hey!” Dean’s firm voice breaks through my haze, his hand lightly slapping my face, “don’t do that, Y/N. Don’t close your eyes. You don’t get to die on me, you hear me sweetheart?” I blink rapidly, trying to clear my field of vision. I momentarily succeed, my eyes locking with his again. I can see the absolute panic engraved into every ounce of this man’s face, he’s moving me now. My head falls forward as he places an arm under my shoulders, the other under my knees. He tucks my head against his chest with his chin, pressing a kiss to my sweat soaked hairline. I continue to fight the wave of exhaustion sweeping over me, blinking my eyes trying to keep them open. The last thing I see is Dean, looking down at me pleading for me to stay with him. But slowly, ever so slowly, my eyes fall closed and the world around me goes black

-

Agony.

This must be hell, the amount of pain that I’m in, the only explanation is hell.

A low groan escapes my lips, every inch of my skin is on fire. Muscles and nerves that I didn’t know I had are screaming out in protest as I try to take a full breath. I manage to inhale, immediately turning into a coughing fit as I choke on the air entering my lungs.

“Easy. Slow breaths, sweetheart.” A hand comes to rest on the crown of my head, stroking my hair gently. The touch startling me, causing me to panic and try to brush away the touch.

“Shhhh, it’s okay.” His voice rushes over my senses, calming me, reassuring me.

I force myself to open my eyes, unsure what to expect.

“Dean?” I whisper, finally realizing that he’s here in-front of me. “Am I dead?” My voice barely functioning, my throat dry and hoarse.

“It’s me sweetheart. You’re not dead. I told you I wasn’t going to let you go.” He smiles slightly, but it doesn’t reach his eyes. He holds a cup up to my lips, letting me take small sips, his fingers never leaving my skin.

“I must be dead, the Dean I know is never this nice to me.” I whisper, a small laugh escaping me, which I immediately regret. Relief floods over deans face, the crease in his brow lessens, a small smile reaches his eyes this time.

“That’s not true, idiot.” He says, pressing a kiss to my knuckles.

“That’s more like it, bitch.” I say, squeezing his hand back.

-

The next few weeks pass slowly, I’m never alone for more than five minutes. The boys take turns, keeping me company, changing my bandages, helping me shower, and just all around waiting on me hand and foot. Dean spends every night on the couch, that he had dragged into my room in the bunker. I don’t object, too weak and tired to even dare. I spend a lot of time sleeping, nightmares plaguing my every attempt at resting.

Tonight is one of those nights, I’ve already awoken from a nightmare. Now I lay on my side, gazing at Dean sitting on the couch. His fingers hovering over the keyboard on his laptop, researching some creature that he has refused to tell me about. Any time I have asked, it starts an argument about how the only thing I need to think about right now is recovering.

“I can feel you staring.” He smirks, bringing his eyes to meet my own, the corners of his mouth turning into a smile. He seems older, worry is etched deeper into his face, his eyes not nearly as bright as they used to be. The dark circles under his eyes, accentuated by the terrible late night lighting of my room.

“I can’t help it, you’re just so annoying I can’t not stare.” I mumble, gently pushing myself up on my elbow. Trying to conceal the wince that follows this slight movement.

Dean chuckles, closing his laptop and turning his body to face me.

“Y/N, we need to talk about what happened back there.” He stares, his brow furrowing again. So many emotions sweep across his face at once, I cant read him.

“You can’t do that again. You cant throw yourself into harms way to save me. I couldn’t live with myself if anything happened to you. What am I saying? Something did happen to you. I already have a hard time looking at you, knowing you almost died to save me. I love you too much, to let you die for me.” He wrings his hands as he speaks, his eyes moving away from mine and focusing on the wooden floor boards beneath his feet.

A silence falls between us for a few moments, his words hanging heavy in the air. My head spinning at his words, I love you too much. Dean Winchester loves me.

“Dean, I don’t think you understand me nearly as well as you think you do. There is nothing you can say or do that would stop me from taking a bullet for you again. I will always do everything in my power to protect you. Protect you in the way that I never had. You would do it for me De, you gotta let me do it for you too.” His eyes are trained on me again, red rimmed and watery. He swipes at them with his fingers, clearing his throat and maintaining eye contact with me once more.

I slide my feet towards the edge of the bed, intent upon going to sit near to him. He stops me with a look and a few mumbled words about how I better not move my ass from my spot or else.

I huff, patting the bed next to me.

“C’mere then, Winchester.” I say, watching his every move as he crosses the distance of the bedroom to sit by my side.

“De-“I rest my head on his shoulder, taking a deep breath and steeling my nerves. He reaches over and intertwines our fingers, his thumb tracing a pattern into the back of my hand. “I love you too, more than I thought possible. I’ll always do anything I can to save you. On this side of hell and the next.”

[tswhiisftteedr]

Hey there, I hope your having a nice night or day, I saw that you wrote nsfw and was wondering if I could request something for chenya wit a female s/o who has a hard time gaing any weight, and a very skinny and tend to become insecure due to it.. and chenya "cheers" them up 👀

(I have this problem ☹ and would like to feel a bit better w some indulgence you know 🤷‍♀️)

Sweet-scented pigeon wing ☆ Headcanon + Drabble

☆RSA Student!Artemiy Artemiyevich Pinker(Che’nya) x Skinny!Fem!Yuu!Reader :

Feeling insecure and self loathing sucks, but luckily for you, your act beastmen boyfriend Che’nya is here for you. And he’s going to ‘cheer you up to the best of his abilities!’

Warnings: Mature content, Che’nya is aged up to 18+ and NCR is an actually college, fingering, begging, not anything graphic(violence) reader is just insecure. Not proofread.

Note: Hi thanks for requesting, I’m sorry if this wasn’t what you were looking for, I’ve never written comfort for subject like body image, especially people who are ‘skinny’ as I’m more on the chubby side my self. (Working on it girly pops, I’m about to become a slim thick queen and you won’t see it coming, hdhhdjd lol) So if this isn’t to your taste I’m sorry, but I real hope it is!! Also some crack halfway through the smut, I guess it was to make it more cheerful and comforting, though idk if it’s good \:<

Before you two started dating, Che’nya had picked up on the fact that you were insecure in your appearance. Mostly wearing oversized clothes to hide your figure, and how you would panic whenever he hugged you out of nowhere, tensing as he fully embrace you in his warmth.

Back then, he used to think that the issues you had with your physic were temporarily, or mood related. ‘We all have those times we’re we feel low and unsure of oneself, right?’

Well to his somewhat ‘displeasure’ he was wrong. It’s not like he was mad at you for not liking everything about yourself, but more that it made him sad that you didn’t see ‘you’ the way he did.

Sure he understood the fact that being at risk of developing health issues like osteoporosis, higher chances for hypothermia and lower immunity system, just because of your weight, could make you insecure. And he also knew you did your best despite your struggle in weight gain.

The way he sees things, you can’t do much but you’re still already doing your max. So since you’re doing your best already, you shouldn’t worry to much about it.

He doesn’t expect you to change your opinion towards your body from one day to the other, even when you got together, he still saw the hesitation behind your eyes whenever he would compliment your looks.

But he did feel proud of the way your gaze slowly shifted through time, how you would look less ‘untrusting’ of his words after each time he would call you beautiful, cute, lovely, hot, ‘sexy mama~’, etc. The way you would wear clothes that were a bit more your size after each interaction, the way you felt more comfortable when he touch and caress you.

He knew your self doubts were still present, though he also knew that they were less dominant in your mind. As if every time he would hold your hand, hug you, kiss you, make out with you, those thoughts would be push further and further away.

Of course there were the days where those thoughts would resurface, hitting you with a wave of sadness and self loathing. Maybe someone had said something about your looks, maybe you weren’t so sure about you were wearing halfway through the day, or maybe it just one of those off day. The ones where you felt like shit no matter what you did, from the moment you awake, to the one you would fall asleep.

In cases like this, your lovely cat boy of a boyfriend would help by bringing your moral up, in his own very special way~

☆ more under the cut. ☆

You and Che'nya were hanging out in Heartslabyul’s rose maze, he had snuck once more to spend sometime with you. The both of you were laying down on the grass, staring at the clouds. When he turned to sneak a glance at your oh so beautiful face, he noticed a look of somewhat unease and despair on your face, so he decided to do something about it.

He knew what that faced meant, so he scouted closer to you slowly, his movement almost silent due to the soft grass under his body. His hands reached out suddenly, wrapping around your waist gently yet firmly before he lifted both you and himself off the ground effortlessly.

Now with you in his arms, without warning, he carried you towards the magic mirror in the dorm.

You soon found yourself back at your dorm, the ramshackle.

Once inside, he placed you down on the bed, keeping hold of one arm over your head while using his free hand to undo your buttons and zippers without hesitation.

Within moments, he had ripped your clothes apart revealing your naked body in all its glory. The sight of your figure and softness sent waves of desire coursing through him.

"You know, its pretty inconvenient for me not knowing when you’ll be down in a slump." He told you in a cheeky manner, obviously not serious. You can always count on Che’nya to tease in any given situation. “But it’s not all so bad, after all, when your like this I get to play with you.” he murmured against your neck, nipping lightly at your sensitive skin. “Though I would prefer it if it just some random fun, not me having to fuck into you just how perfect you are.” He told you with a rather serious tone, different from his usual one. Thought the softness behind his eyes told you, he wasn’t blaming or reprimanding you. He just wish you could see what he saw when he would gaze at you. But before you could think on that for too long-

"Now, lie back and enjoy yourself." Che’nya spoke out in his usual oh so casual tone.

With that said, he pushed your legs apart wider than they wanted to go and started playing with your ‘sweet-scented pigeon wing’ as he would call it.

Wait- the hell?! “Sweet-scented pigeon wing”, where does that even come from, like what the actual f- oh, right, you remember now.

Sweet-scented pigeon wing from potionology, it’s also known as Clitoria fragrans hence their vaginal shape. What a fucking bastard that he is for calling your coochie that!

Well at least if you had any doubts about sex, your mind was now well off them. But before your mental insulting and name calling of your boyfriend could continue anymore, it was abruptly cut short, by the one you were previously cursing out.

As Che'nya touched your sensitive areas, you could feel a mix of pleasure and shock coursing through your body. His cold hands contrasted with the warmth that was beginning to spread between your legs. He teased you mercilessly, rubbing circles around your clit before dipping his fingers inside of you. Every move sent waves of ecstasy throughout your entire being, making it hard for you to resist him.

In response to his actions, you arched your back involuntarily, moaning softly as he continued to torment you. "Che’nya stop... please..." You begged, but there was no real resistance in your voice. Instead, it sounded more like pleading for more.

"Feeling good, aren't you?" he purred, nibbling on your earlobe playfully. "You know you want this." With that, he pushed two fingers deep inside of you, stretching you wider than ever before. The sudden invasion caused another loud moan to escape your lips, followed by a whimper as he began to thrust them in and out of you rhythmically.

Che'nya chuckled at your moans and whimpers, loving the power he had over you. He increased the pace of his thrusts, going faster and harder until you were on the brink of orgasm. Just when you thought you couldn’t take anymore, he pulled out suddenly, leaving you panting and yearning for more.

"Not yet," he purred teasingly. "I want you begging for it, and obviously you got to explain why you deserve it, also you being attractive must be one of those reasons, ‘Kay!” With that cryptic remark, he stepped back slightly, exposing his erect member to your eager eyes. It was throbbing with anticipation.

You couldn't help but stare at his thick, throbbing dick, your eyes widening in a mixture of fear and desire. "W-What do you want me to say? T-That I... need this?" Your voice cracked slightly as he stepped closer again, pushing his cockhead against your entrance.

"Good girl," he praised, before sliding the head inside of you slowly. "Now tell me why else you deserve it." His pace remained slow, allowing you to adjust to his size while teasing both of them.

You bit your lower lip nervously, trying to gather your thoughts. "I... umm... I guess because... uh... well... it feels so good when you touch me like this... And that I’ve been good ..” You managed to stutter out between pants.

"And?"

"And, I suppose... that I'm somewhat pretty." You reply.

"You 'suppose' that you're 'somewhat pretty'? Hmm, I don't think that's going to cut it. You need to be confident about that sort of thing, especially if you want me to start pounding my dick into you." He tells you, giggling.

You blush bright red, feeling both embarrassed and aroused by his words. "I... I-I mean..." Stuttering again, you gather your courage and look him straight in the eyes. "I'm beautiful, okay? Okay?"

His grin widened as he heard these words leave your lips. "That's more suitable," he praised. He increased his pace little by little, gradually thrusting deeper inside of you. Each powerful stroke sent waves of pleasure coursing through your body, making it difficult for you to maintain composure.

"You smell so damn good," Che'nya groaned, burying his face in your neck and sucking on your tender skin. His hands moved downwards, once more, grabbing your legs firmly and spreading them wider apart, exposing your wet and needy pussy to his hungry gaze. "Yes, you are perfect, there’s no other way to think about it."

You blushed deeply at his words, feeling both embarrassed and aroused. "I... I mean, I—!"

Before you could finish your sentence, he thrust himself fully inside of you without warning, stretching your tight hole to accommodate him completely. A cry of pleasure mixed with pain escaped from your lips as he began to move steadily, claiming you body inch by slow but powerful inch. Each time he pulled out slightly, only to push back in deeper than before, hitting your G-spot just right, sending waves of intense ecstasy coursing through your entire being.

"That's better," he praised between heavy breaths. "You sound so much better when you aren’t worrying about how you look, but instead of how deep I’m fucking you." He said that last part with a snicker.

You moaned in pure ecstasy as he continued to thrust into you, his thick member stretching and filling up every inch of your tight passage. The combination of pleasure and pain was almost too much for you to handle, but somehow, you wanted more.

"Oh god, Che'nya," you cried out, arching your back towards him. "I want... more..." Your words came out breathless and desperate.

He picked up the pace even faster, pounding into you relentlessly. Each powerful thrust caused a loud slapping sound against your sensitive flesh, adding an erotic rhythm to their passionate dance. His hands gripped tightly onto your legs, leaving marks on your skin as evidence of their intensity.

"That's it, baby," he groaned, his voice hoarse with desire. "Take all of me." Owing to his size, each deep penetration felt like hitting a new level of pleasure that left you begging for more.

Feeling his orgasm building up inside of him, Che'nya slowed down slightly, savoring every moan and whimper that escaped from your lips. "I can feel how close you are too," he panted between breaths.

"C-Come with me..." his voice cracked as he spoke those words, urging you to reach climax alongside him.

The feeling intensified beyond anything you could have imagined, pushing you closer to the edge of ecstasy. And then, just when you thought it couldn't get better, another powerful thrust sent waves of pure bliss coursing through your body, sending you over the edge into a mind-numbing orgasm unlike anything you had ever experienced before. Your entire being shook with intense pleasure as wave after wave of orgasmic bliss washed over you, leaving you completely lost in the moment.

As for Che'nya, he held on tightly, his own release drawing near. With one final, forceful thrust, he let out a primal growl, burying himself deep within you to the hilt. Quickly pulling out, his hot seed spurted forth, painting your stomach and chest with thick, sticky cum. He stayed there for a moment, observing his work. “See, your such a lovely thing.” Was all he said while looking at your fucked out face and and cum cover body.

Thanks anon for requesting!

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[hopeforkitten]

thanks to my head, which thought what if the devils were molting. (if we consider the skin of the cambions, then they have scales)

• you lived in the house of hope for a long time and seemed to know all its features. although, you probably should never say that you know everything about devils.

you returned from the balcony in the archive and did not expect to see an incubus here. Haarlep was sitting with his legs over the armrest and reading a book with an extremely bored look, flipping through the pages with one claw. how could this personification of feline nature leave the cozy bed of the boudoir? And why?

"Oh, Haarlep, why are you here?"

"Hello little mouse! Well, I'm obviously not here of my own free will." he was very inspired by your voice. "Perhaps you will find the answer to this question in my former place of residence." his eyes took on their usual cunning gleam, causing you to distrust.

"And what am I going to find there?..."

"Oh, you haven't seen him in his period yet" he let go of the book and made a gesture of quotation marks "Go, go, I'm impatient to find out how everything will go" he waved his hand towards the doors and you headed the same way.

Along the way, you wondered what could be the reason for Raphael's unexpected mood. Anyway, you haven't done anything wrong, so why should you be afraid of his anger, right?

The boudoir barrier let you through, and from afar you saw Raphael sitting with his back to you and fidgeting erratically. His housecoat was held on his hips by a belt, and his upper body was naked. He diligently moved his wings, even tried to scratch their hard edge against the horns, as well as scratch his shoulders with his hands and tried unsuccessfully to reach the base of the wings.

"maybe I can help?"

You said hesitantly. Raphael didn't even notice how you walked from the entrance to the edge of the bed. He looked at you briefly with displeasure.

"and this is you. go ahead and try it."

He turned back and waited for your actions. you swallowed and hesitantly stroked the base of your wings.

"No mouse, use your claws," Raphael barked back at you.

you started scratching the shoulder blade of the wings with your short nails and it did real magic to him. He let out a sigh of relief and tilted his head back a little. such a reaction was more than enough to make you do it for hours.

• This was just the beginning of Raphael's molt. the symptoms are a bad mood and scabies. while the various stages of his molting were going on, he always lingered on the first one - denial. He hated this time. Raphael was too sensitive and imperfect during this period. Everything should always be perfect in it, both appearance and endurance. But this rare period spoils all his plans.

during the molt, he canceled all his business and did not leave the house of hope. without you, he used to wait it out alone in the boudoir, moving around in short forays from there. it is better not to catch his eye at this moment.

However, with you.... he won't say it, but molting with you has become a pleasant vacation. To you, he grumbles nonstop, like a very big moody child. but your presence changed everything... you scratch his back and wings, smear him with moisturizer, (gently stroke his shiny new scales and admire his beauty? yes, please) sit by the pool while he soaks and only his head sticks out of the water.

you will timidly help him with the removal of dead skin, asking if it hurts him. (imagine how much work his wings need)

• You also became the devil's personal pillow during this period. He just won't let you go a step away from him, with the rare exception when you need to leave the boudoir and bring him something. it's better not to linger chatting with Haarlep, it can cost you dearly.

since his diabolical work was suspended, he switched from contracts to fiction and read it in tandem with you.

He was going into cat mode. Today, practically the archdevil wants to spend the day in bed, and you pathetic little man will be my pillow and a scratcher and bring me a book or soothing tea and I'll eat your soul if you disobey, yes.

• Raphael is horrified to realize that he has been scratching the skin surrounding the horns several times a day. this means that after the back and wings, the skin on the face will be renewed... Oh, how he doesn't like it. the mouse does not stare at him, you are on thin ice and now he will obviously spend more time using you as a pillow so that you cannot stare at him

• it will be strange when this ends and the former strict and perfect Raphael returns to you, and he will never bring up this topic. however, before the next molt, he will send you an order to come to the boudoir and it's good that you already know how to help him.

[kindasleepywriter]

Bird of Prey - Chapter 5: Smoke and Fire

Bird of Prey masterlist. Azriel x Reader.

Chapter summary: A russet eyed friend welcomes you back. Heat overwhelms you and Azriel.

Story rating: Mature - Minors DNI

Warnings: Some smut. Mentions/flashbacks of past abuse. Slight fluff followed by a LOT of angst.

Word count: 2.7k.

Previous | Next

The bed was uncomfortable, too soft. Everything, in fact, felt too accommodating. You’ve been living in forest and mountain hideouts for decades now. Taking a hot bath felt wrong and wearing freshly washed clothes even more so.

In the wild, there is no such thing as clean. You can get close to it, certainly, but there was always a bit of grime that lingered in the handwashed cloth or the length of your hair. It didn’t bother you, as the absence of plumbing in the forests also meant a lack of people that would try and hurt you.

If you were being honest, the so-called normalcy of your new forced habits made you panic. You felt too exposed, too vulnerable. When you look like you’re not a part of common society, most people who were curious about the presence of a fae of your kind in other courts were too offput by your clear distance from common society. Too feral, too wild. But out there you were protected, you were safe, and you didn’t have to live your life waiting for another person to inevitably try to use you for their own gain.

You’d filled the tub with the coldest water the house could provide you with that morning.

You hadn’t missed your new markings, either. This was the first real bargain you’d ever made, having naturally made petty bets like all the other kids on childish games. This one, however, you would have to keep more than a few minutes.

You knew they went up to the base of your scull, but you hadn’t realized how far down your backs they reached. It looked like a long wisp of smoke, starting along your spine just above your rear, and trailed up until it disappeared in your hairline. You quite liked the design, honestly. You had seen some godawful ones in some very visible places, so you thanked the mother for the simple spine design. The way it trailed in between your wings, partially buried beneath soft feathers, made you quite content. You felt quite vain thinking it, but you thought it looked beautiful on you.

Azriel hadn’t visited you once for the first two days since the beginning of your stay. In fact, you hadn’t seen anyone but Cassian and Nesta, who alternated the role of babysitter with a great deal of annoyance. You got along relatively well with Cassian, if training together in silence could be considered as such. Nesta hadn’t exactly warmed up to you, but she’d stopped sneering at you every time she replaced Cassian. No conversations were had during those 48 hours, the house only resonating a tense silence except for when Cassian and Nesta spoke during dinner.

On the third day, however, the atmosphere completely changed. You were walking out of the sitting room towards the training grounds with Cassian, ready to beat your body into submission again, and as you traversed the main hall of the House of Wind, beating wings were heard, growing increasingly louder. The noise was followed by a voice calling out:

“Hey, Feathers, look over here!”

You turned around to the familiar voice, unable to resist grinning at the newcomer – Lucien. You couldn’t believe it. It must’ve been at least 300 years since you had last saw him. The second he landed and jumped out from the arms of the Illyrian who had carried him, Azriel, he started running towards you at full speed. You braced for impact as he collided with you, sending you both tumbling to the ground, holding on tightly to each other. You both sat up, still in an embrace.

“God, you don’t know how much I missed you, I thought you were dead!”, he exclaimed, his face solidly buried in your hair.

You let out a laugh. “Come on Kit, did you really think I’d go through all that we did just to die on you? Be realistic, please.”

He separated from you holding your face in his hands, pushing his forehead to yours.

“From the ashes and smoke-”, he began.

“-rises the fiercest fire.”, you finished softly. “I remember, Kit.”

“I thought you were gone, Feathers.”, he said, his voice shaking. “No one had seen you, even Amarantha couldn’t find you, I thought it was over.”

“I followed our deal, I always made sure someone could inform you if a mission went wrong. I’d never leave you in the dark like that, Lucien.”

You both finally separated, standing again, still holding on to each other’s forearms. You looked him over, shocked to see how different he looked.

“Gods, what happened to your eye?”, you exclaimed as you cradled the left side of his face and softly ran a finger along his scar, “What Puca did you piss off this time?”

“Ha! well, not-so-funny story-”

A loud Ah-um reminded you both that you were in the presence of other people. Cassian looked at you both incredulously, while Azriel’s were narrowed and fixed on Lucien.

“When you said you knew her, you didn’t mention you two had… history.”, the Shadowsinger declared.

You and Lucien burst into laughter again.

“Wait you think that he- that we-”, you let out, wiping at your eyes as tears leaked out of them, unable to complete the sentence as you fell victim to another fit of laughter.

Lucien looked torn between amusement at your reaction and panic “Oh gods no, never- don’t try to imply that to Elain, I swear to you I’ve never touched her that way in my entire life!”, he rather suddenly exclaimed.

You, finally calming down and only chuckling, let out: “I can’t believe you would keep our eternal love a secret, Lucien, I wouldn’t have told my father to prepare for a proposmmm-”

Lucien had clasped a hand over your mouth, clearly not happy with your sarcasm, worry in his eyes.

“You’re not helping, Feathers.”

Oh. You’d forgotten one crucial piece of information in the shock of seeing him: he was mated and, if the rumors were true, it was to the third Archeron sister, the one you hadn’t met yet. Elain, apparently. You brought up two hands in a peace gesture, and he let you go with a friendly shove. “Sorry, Sorry, should’ve read the room. You do have to tell me about her Luc, I’ve only-”

“While this reunion is clearly the height of fun for you both, Lucien came here for a reason, he’s the one who’s supposed to watch over you for the next few days, although I’m now heavily doubting that decision.”, Azriel interrupted. You scowled.

“Ah come on Az, let them have their little reunion, they clearly haven’t seen each other in years”, Cassian said, “She hasn’t done anything troublesome since she’s been here, and I think she talked more in the last five 5 minutes than she has in the last three days. How about you cut her some slack. Oh, also, being able to go to the loo alone would also be an appreciated gesture. It gets awkward fast when you listen to each other pee.”

Azriel didn’t look pleased. “Fine. As long as she stays in this house.”, he gritted out.

He glanced at the others before marching himself over to you, taking your wrist and almost dragging you to another hallway. You looked over your shoulder at Lucien, hoping he might try and stay something, but he was only watching with amusement. Traitor.

The Shadowsinger led you into a room at the end of the corridor, pushing the door closed and turning you around, trapping you between his body and the door, his hands resting on the wood on both sides of your shoulder. He wasn’t much taller than you, your Peregryn genes made sure of that, but he had his wings flared wide behind him. Consequently, the only thing you could see was him and his shadows. Not that they were very intimidating, mind you, only curiously climbing up your arms and settling on your shoulders. They were cold but almost… comforting. They reminded you of the winds of the Illyrian mountains when winter was just settling in.

You battled the urge to also spread your wings and physically push him back, but you took every ounce of patience you had to keep yourself calm. He couldn’t hurt you; he was just trying to look more intimidating. You could handle that. He looked furious.

“What the hell was that back there with Lucien, huh?”, he growled, “Involving yourself with a mated male?”

“By the mother, you really think we were together, don’t you?”

“Well, you two were certainly acting like it, Feathers.”

You gritted your teeth. Yes, you and Lucien had nicknames for each other, but it wasn’t like that.

“We’ve never laid together, we never will, and I’m not lying!.”

“You better not be. He’s already lived too much pain for the sake of his bond, and I will NOT have you destroy all the effort he and Elain have put in to reach where they are now.”

Pain, for his mating bond? You’d have to ask Lucien about it later, but Azriel sounded so angry about the past events that you doubted you’d get full answers- relationship troubles had never been your forte, not really a model of the healthiest relationship back then, and Lucien had never felt the need to come to you for those types of things. Some things were too personal, even between you two.

“Look, we were barely out of our teenage years when we met! I was in an unfamiliar court for a man that didn’t give me the time of day despite our engagement. I was harassed constantly by all the other Vansera brothers, just like Lucien. We were scared and we were alone.”

Your voice cracked, and you took a breath, trying to steady it. You were shivering with anger, despite the shadows around you attempting to soothe you, caressing your neck. You wouldn’t have anyone try to twist your relationship with Lucien, he was the only real family you had left. Time hadn’t changed that, and neither would empty threats.

“We protected each other until the end. We were going to make it out of there alive no matter what it took, and we did. He’s the only reason why I made it out. So, before you start throwing accusations of situations you have absolutely no idea about, learn to trust your fucking friends. Doesn’t he deserve that, at the very least?”

The both of you were breathing hard, both absolutely on edge. You had no idea what was happening to you, you felt like your insides were catching on fire. You hadn’t let yourself feel in years, and this… rage, within you, it suffocated you, it was too. much.

Your faces were only inches from each other, staring into each other’s eyes. His were hazel. You hadn’t noticed that before.

You had no idea who lunged first, but suddenly were brushing against Azriel’s torso as your lips collided. His hands dropped from the door to your hips, pressing you fully against his chest as one of yours reached for the base of his neck and the other his hair, tugging him closer. If you’d felt like fire before, now you were consumed by the sun itself. Every inch of you was burning from his touch, too much and not enough all at once. His lips moved against yours in a relentless battle, neither letting the other take control. His shadows covered the both of you. You could feel them trailing along your skin, the only source of relief from the heat burning through you.

His hands gripped your backside harshly when you thrust your hips up into him, and you let out a soft moan of pleasure at the contact. He didn’t waste a second, using the opportunity to thrust his tongue into your mouth, sliding against yours as he let out a groan. Something in the back of your mind was trying to get you to stop this, to escape, but you ignored every warning.

Your scents had sharpened, arousal flooding the both of you, mist and cedar overtaking your senses. He tugged at your thighs and you immediately obeyed, jumping to secure your legs around his waist. He crossed the room and deposited you on a wooden surface- a desk? A table? It didn’t really matter. He fit himself between your legs as your lips continued their furious movement, only halting to breathe before you started again, while you slid your hand down his front, feeling every inch of muscle that wasn’t covered by his thick Illyrian leathers. You could feel him against your core, the visible proof of his arousal providing you with only the slightest friction.

His right hand trailed down to your hip and then down between your legs. His thumb pressed ever so softly on your bundle of nerves through your thin pants and panties, and just that had you letting out a low cry against his mouth. He softly shushed you, his teeth nipping your bottom lip.

He reached for your back again, and you arched as you waited for him to pull you closer, but instead you felt his fingers softly brush the back of your wings, treading lightly over the sensitive spot where white feathers connected with delicate skin, making you shudder.

Instantly afterwords, it felt like a cold shower had rained down on you. His hand had trailed up almost exactly to the area where an Illyrian could be clipped- the most vulnerable part of their wing. A Peregryn’s anatomy wasn’t quite the same but whether he knew it or not, the message was the same: he had you completely at his mercy. Gone was the pleasurable consuming heat, replaced by white-hot panic. What was happening to you, letting him touch you, your wings? He was part of the Inner Circle, he contributed willingly to the suffering of thousands of women in this Court, and now he was willing to use those same wings as a sexual tool. Absolutely. Not.

You swiftly pushed him off and jumped down what you could now see was a desk, breathing erratically. Your wings reflexively tucked themselves so tight against your back it felt like you were going to pull a tendon; you leaped across the room making your way to the door.

“Wait!”, he called, his voice scratchy, a hand closing against your wrist. You glanced at him, looking up to see him shocked, concern lacing his eyes. Your fear increased tenfold.

“I can’t- You’re- , FUCK, don’t you dare touch me.”

You harshly tugged your hand out of his, running towards your bedroom at full speed, immediately locking the door behind you. You silently slid to the floor, your back against the door and tears filling your vision as you replayed what had just happened repeatedly. How had you lost control so easily?

Your feathered wings stretched around you as you tried to soothe yourself. You were itching to jump straight off the room’s balcony, let the air stretch your neglected muscles and fly back to the same caves and mountains where no one would find you, but you simply could not, all because of that stupid bargain.

Your hands reached the tendons and muscles of your wings, trying to ground yourself in the present. He couldn’t hurt you; he couldn’t even touch a single feather if you didn’t want him to. Your wings were safe, you were still free, they didn’t know. There weren't sharp hands tugging at your feathers in reminder of your forced submission, no one holding you down as you begged for mercy. You sat there, obsessively running your fingers through the feathers, feeling each and every one you could reach until you let yourself fall to the side, your wings still cocooned around you as you stared at the opposite wall in silence.

In your panic, you hadn’t noticed the doorknob’s wooden surface had smoked beneath your hand in the study. Someone else had.

I couldn't help posting it early!

Many revelations in this chapter! I had absolutely not planned the study scene to be so steamy but sometimes you have something planned and the story decides it knows better than you x)

Please let me know what you think!! This is my first time writing anything explicit, I'd love to hear how it reads <3

Banner created by the amazing @saradika!

Taglist: @sapphenaa

[our-heartless-angels]

I got impatient, so I'm gonna info dump my AU onto this blog and none of you can stop me. (It begins below the cut)

Content warnings: Talks of abuse, torture, death, manipulation, miscarriages, and (possible) mentions of self harm (if i get there ofc)

I was really inspired by Crisis Core when creating this au, and at the time I was looking at those "Hero swap" aus where Sephiroth and Cloud swap places. When making my au (with CC in mind), I decided to take that premise and completely flip it on it's head.

Thus, The Seraphim Verdict: An au where everything is the same except for Sephiroth and Cloud. Because of these two being the sole changes, certain events play out very differently. How differently, you may ask? That's what you're about to find out.

In this au, Sephiroth wasn't born from the Jenova Projects. I was inspired by all the angel motifs attached to the canon Sephiroth, so I thought that I would make him into a real angel. A seraph, to be exact. He's the main character of the story. Cloud, however, is a human-turned soulless demon who loves nothing more than to make Sephiroth suffer. He's the main antagonist, and instead of vowing to destroy the planet, vows to become its supreme ruler.

Side note: The remnants we're created when Sephiroth was four, as a result of physically splitting into three people, meaning they cannot exist outside of him, nor can he exist outside of them. He can separate into the three whenever he's put under stress that he can no longer handle, and this happens at random, so yes they used to be in SOLDIER, too. Hojo forced it upon them just as much as he did with Sephiroth, and as a result while Kadaj is mostly the same in behavior as he is canonically, Loz and Yazoo are fundamentally changed due to mistreatment by their peers. Loz is a lot less of a "no brains, only brawns" character, having wizened himself up and sealed away all emotions that weren't his rage, and has sent several SOLDIERS into the infirmary after getting fed up with being beaten by them. (Many SOLDIERs were paid to harrass the trio by Hojo "for their own betterment." He was also forcefully tranquilized out of fear that he'd kill everyone in the building if they did not stop him.) Yazoo regressed into an anxiety filled mess, refusing to stand up for himself, as he fears punishment. People deemed him the weakest link, and he's been a target his whole life, leaving him completely afraid of the world.

Sephiroth was created by many gods all at once, using the soul of what would have ended up being Sephiroth, as Lucrecia in this universe ended up having a miscarriage, meaning that Project S was a failure. Though because they used the soul of what was to be the Sephiroth we would all know and love (or hate), this seraph would have been made flawed in their eyes. He, as a newly created (baby) seraph, would have earned an extra wing. An extra wing that was a part of his more human-like appearance. They only saw him as a mistake that shouldn't have been made, and they dumped him onto Gaia, his Grace intact and everything. The gods thought their creation would have not been capable of survival in this fragile form of a child, and thus pretended he never existed, abd because of this, never made another angel ever again.

From the start, the seraph has known abandonment. From the start, he was fated to be alone. From the start, he lacked the love he deserved to have. That was, until a distraught Lucrecia stumbled upon the abandoned baby one night outside of Shinra HQ. Being worried for the child's safety, and holding that longing of wishing to be a mother, decided to take him as her own in secret, once determining that he was abandoned there.

In secret, she cared for him. She loved him dearly, and was completely enamored by his tiny, white feathered wing. Unfortunately, this didn't last very long, as one day Professor Hojo discovered him and decided to take him away without her knowledge. As she was returning to the child, she was distraught by his disappearance, and through grief she left, never to be seen again. Hojo, now in possession of Sephiroth, decided to write off Project S as a sucess, in an attempt to hide his true research.

Sephiroth has the same kind of childhood he would have in canon, though he was never really addressed as a person until he was around ten years old (in human years), and instead he was treated like a beast. Even when he started calling him a "he" instead of an "it", he never really treated him well whatsoever. Even if he was supposed to be his father, he never acted like one. Not once. Those abandonment issues and that separation anxiety he harbored ever since he was an infant only got worse the older he got, as Hojo often took advantage of this, and he purposefully had him isolated. Sephiroth rarely interacted with others in his childhood years.

Sephiroth would also experience everything he would come to experience in his life pre Crisis Core, and all the way up until he was an adult. Crisis Core does play out relatively the same, save for a few key differences.

Those differences were: He was lied to twice about what he truly was, Cloud's jealousy towards Sephiroth's position and perceived power, and the subsequent attempts to squander his good name which lead to him seeking out a power beyond himself to get his wish of power granted (by a demon who was thought to be a god), though at the cost of his humanity, and thus his slowly degrading sanity, the Nibelheim Incident was all staged (Sephiroth pretend to go insane) in an attempt to draw Cloud out, and have him show everyone what he really was, Zack doesn't get killed, and Genesis doesn't end up with Deepground

The events post Crisis Core are both very much the same and also very different. While Cloud was going around, and continuing to try and paint Sephiroth in a bad light through lies and deceptions, Sephiroth, who had newly acquired an ally in Vincent Valentine, are going after Cloud, as Sephiroth knew the truth behind Cloud's false acts of heroism. The two go out to Shinra HQ, where they discover the existence of the Black Materia, to which after promptly putting an end to Professor Hojo, set out to retrieve it before Cloud does. When they suceed, it would be moments before they come across Cloud (and his freshly manipulated group of friends). Sephiroth, who has been anticipating their arrivals, decided to hand the black materia to Vincent, telling him to leave and not return until he deemed it was safe. By the time they arrived, Vincent was long gone, and Sephiroth remained.

Cloud made an attempt to pry out the location of the black materia on his person? and Sephiroth, who wasn't exactly lying to him, tells him he never had such a thing in his possession. Cloud wouldn't believe him though, and after countless attempts at making him hand over something he never once had in this moment, beat up the seraph in a fit of anger before leaving him there once determining that he wasn't lying. Sephiroth not once fought back against Cloud, as it felt completely unnecessary. Vincent does eventually return, taking Sephiroth with him to where they were currently camping out, so he could tend to his wounds in a safer location.

That night, however, they would receive a nighttime visit from a very distressed Aerith, who sought out Sephiroth personally. She was quick to beg and plead with the angel, knowing that he was the key to her salvation. She asked him to send her back to the lifestream. To his shock at such a request, he vehemently refused her no matter how much she pleaded with him to. Aerith then told him everything about the mistreatment she suffered behind everyone's back through the hands of Cloud Strife. All the gritty details of his physical and mental abuse upon her were laid bare for him to see, and that was enough for him to (reluctantly) aid in her suicidal desires under confirmation that this was something she actively wanted.

Pretty soon, he was to take Vincent to meet with her at a place long forgotten to time. While Vincent remained stoic about this predicament for the sake of not worrying the seraph, Sephiroth's thoughts were all over the place despite his blank expression. He tells Vincent to hide himself in case Cloud's group decided to go and find her, while he went to prepare himself for this moment. He complies, and once he left, Sephiroth took up residence in a high spot and waited. Unfortunately, he still had his gripes about doing such a thing. He didn't have much time to dwell, as Cloud came over towards a praying Aerith, who looked furious that she left him and the others behind. Before Cloud could do anything against her, Sephiroth made his move. As he was inches away from taking her life, he sensed her feelings about this shifting away, and coming to the conclusion that she didn't actually want to die anymore. It was too late, however, as by the time she had second thoughts about it, his blade would pierce through her, and she would ultimately die by Sephiroth's hands.

He was absolutely horrified by what he had done. The trauma of knowing her final feelings were that of wanting ro live hit him like a bag of bricks, as he quickly withdrew his blade. He looked at her in complete horror and silence, as Cloud's anger rose. From that moment on, Cloud declared to Sephiroth that he will make him suffer tenfold for what he did to the cetra girl, and he immediately left to quell his rage before it got worse, leaving Sephiroth to be responsible for putting her body into the waters that surrounded him, a sombre tone suffocating him all the wile.

Zack Joins the duo a few days later, after he was satisfied with his visit to his family. While the death of Aerith remained fresh on Sephiroth and Vincent's minds, they refused to tell Zack about it. It was during the addition of Zack, that they came across one of the gods. A god of time by the name Chronos had come in search for the seraph they got rid of, a feeling that he was still alive having brought him there. He was the sole god who wanted him dead, and thus he finally came to fulfill such a wish. When the trio arrived, Sephiroth immediately told his allies to leave. While Vincent understood why, Zack however, had a much harder time understanding why he didn't just let him fight with him. Sephiroth told Zack that this was his payment for forcing all those assignments onto him in the past, and that he's doing this to keep him alive, to which got Zack to reluctantly comply, and they two went somewhere more safe.

The subsequent battle was brutal and completely unfair. A mere seraph going against a whole god was simply unheard of, and the seraph was very close to losing his life, though by a stroke of luck, he managed to pick up on the secrets to Chronos' underhanded tatics, and decided to use them against him, which lead to him out right managing to kill the god for the sake of his survival. Beatened and bloodied, Sephiroth then collapsed. Vincent and Zack return, only to see a dead god, and their barely allive leader. They were quick to grab him and retreat, where Sephiroth would spend a few days recovering (much to his disapproval).

Sephiroth, after fully recovering, decided the next thing they would do is to break out those who were pulled under Cloud's influence. It was time they knew the real truth. They then silently trailed after Cloud and co, one by one convincing Yuffie, Red XIII, Cait Sith (and by extension Reeve), Cid, Barret, and finally Tifa into joining them on their quest to stop the demon. Each person had varying levels of difficulty when it came to breaking them free, with Tifa being the most stubborn. Once Cloud was alone, he scoffed at the betrayals, deeming that this endeavor was better done solo, and headed to the northern crater on his own.

Once the team was finally assembled proper, they decided to take a break for the next few hours one day to get a clearer head, so they could decide together when it would be the right time to strike, leaving Sephiroth all alone with his own thoughts. He then spent the night alone with the highwind, thinking over all that happened in the past, and hoping that the future he sees in his visions wasn't too out of reach. Eventually, everyone came back together, fully refreshed and ready to take on their foe. The group soon sets out, and what happens is deemed a final battle they would never forget.

Soon after the events, and within the time span of two years, it would be proven that Cloud refused his own demise, and forced himself back into the world of the living. All he felt was hatred towards Sephiroth. This was when he decided to make him pay, setting out to find him. This then began a painful cycle of Cloud finding him, and taking him away somewhere. Sephiroth would then undergo bouts of physical and mental torture that no living human would be able to survive, let alone be left mentally sound if they happened to live from it all. It was a constant loop that eventually was broken up with Zack coming to his rescue (despite it being mostly too late, and the damage having already been done.)

This constant cycle would break down the once untouchable seeming man, leaving him as a broken, and pathetic version of what he once was. Gone were the days where he remained strong in the face of torment, for now he ultimately became soft and meek through his suffering. He became a shell of his former self from then on....

Oh yeah btw Sephiroth stopped physically aging around his twenties, so he permanently looks like how he does in Crisis Core, fun fact.

[mbgcreates]

Under the Mistletoe

Word count: 1481

A/N: You know what, sure, I'll put this one here. Also, THIS WON'T BE SITTING FOR ANOTHER YEAR!! This was started about two years ago, and I only just finished it 😅 enjoy! Remember, reblogs > likes! Thank you!

Dark is…nervous.

It's been a long time since he's felt this way; the closest he can recall is when Wilford gets overly trigger-happy at the worst of times and jeopardizes his plans, or when the man has one of his memory spells. But this…

Dark glances at the mistletoe hanging from the doorframe of his office, visible only from the inside. It’s been… Well, in another lifetime, he had attempted this tradition before and succeeded a few times, although he was much more nervous then than he is currently. Besides, times have changed. He’s a different man, now. One that he thought wasn’t so capable of something like “nervousness.” Do you even like him enough that this will work—

Nonetheless, he requested some time ago that you come to his office at your earliest convenience. He knows you won’t ignore it, because he hardly ever invites you there. If he does, it must be important. As this is. As you are.

He cannot focus on his paperwork in the interim. Instead of a refuge, it feels like an overwhelming mountain, stretching up almost indefinitely. He's not even sure why he has so much of it, a creature of the void as he is, but somehow, Wilford’s very existence comes with paperwork. The other egos cause headaches, but typically not paperwork. Not often, anyway.

And you. Somehow, you’ve managed to fit in with the craziness that is this revolving door of oddballs. It took time, but you’ve carved out your own niche, and the more aggressive of the bunch eventually stopped antagonizing you. Wilford, as was his wont, took you “under his wing,” which largely meant you’d run around doing increasingly inane errands until Dark had to step in. You weren’t built for that, after all. It was the first time he saw anything that wasn’t (fear) concern in your eyes when looking at him.

Dark sighs and shuffles some papers around. The dark wood of his desk pokes through, matched by the dreary wallpaper, black bookshelves with equally desaturated books, and dark wood flooring. It's like it's bearing down on him, suffocating him in his anxiousness instead of being a comfort. After the day he stepped in, you slowly began to spend a bit more time with him around the manor, and he found himself missing your presence on some days when you weren’t around.

Your footsteps announce your arrival far in advance, his supernatural hearing better than a human’s, and he actually has to take a deep breath to calm himself. In all honesty, the nerves wouldn't be that bad, but for him? Anything more than a little is too much.

He had discovered by way of accidentally overhearing that, despite appearances, you enjoyed the little things, especially the little romantic things. It was strange, to consider such concepts after so long, to let the idea germinate in his mind until an idea bloomed. An idea that he is still second-guessing until this very moment. He pretends to keep working until you rap on the door frame. "Dark? You asked to see me?"

"Ah, you're here." He shuffles the papers again, this time into a neat stack, acting as if everything is normal and you didn’t somehow borderline startle him. “I almost believed you wouldn’t show.”

You both know he said this on purpose; just another jab he can’t help but say. A deflection, now, habitual and not fully meant. You huff half-heartedly. “As if I wouldn’t. Can I come in?”

“Not quite yet.” He knows the anxiousness isn't evident (you’ve never seemed to notice before), but his reply is still rather quick. “We can have a discussion with you over there.”

You roll your eyes. Dark doesn't notice, too caught up in not looking at you. “Sure, real personal discussion. What even did you want to talk with me about?”

“You have been living here for quite some time now, and it looks like you will be here for quite some time longer.” His desk is tidied much too soon for his liking. “I take it everything is still satisfactory?”

“Well, yeah, I suppose so,” you reply, obviously confused. “Wilford is still…Wilford.”

“That he is. And that he will continue to be.” He’s forced to finally look up, and seeing you underneath the mistletoe is like something out of a dream: unreal. Too good to be true. Dark makes himself stand up, palms pressed firmly against the desk as if to steady himself. “If you have more trouble with him, or with anyone else, you know where to find me.”

“Oh, okay, thanks…?”

“I do think Wilford isn’t fully utilizing your talents, but he doesn’t always listen to me.” Dark finds his feet taking him forward, towards you.

“Really? You think so?” There’s a tinge of surprise in your voice, but it’s a good surprise. You didn’t think he would notice, he suspects.

“Yes. And with the days you spend in my office, we could figure out some way to harness and hone them. Maybe then, he’ll listen.”

“I mean, is it really a good idea to get in his way?”

The corner of Dark’s mouth twitches as he stops in front of you. You’re so…short, compared to him. “Well, of all people, I would be the best candidate.”

Amusement flickers into your eyes, and it makes you look that much lovelier. “I suppose you’re right. But still…”

“My dear, I think you should…aim higher. Look higher.” When you just blink at him, not picking up on his odd hint, he points upwards, towards the lintel. Your brows twitch in confusion, but you follow where he points. Your eyes catch the sprig of mistletoe, and he watches your expression as the gears turn in your mind, everything clicking into place. You look back at him in disbelief, and whether you’re aware of it or not, your cheeks are tinged with the beginnings of a blush. It makes him want to do this even more. Still, the words are not easy to say, tongue heavy in his mouth. “May I?”

You nod almost dumbly after a moment, and he brings his hand up to cup your face. It is of immense relief that you don’t recoil. If his heart still worked, it would be beating out of his chest. As it is, he can hear yours doing exactly that. It picks up as he closes the gap between you.

Dark brushes his lips against yours, the barest of touches, almost as if he's asking for permission again. When you don't pull away, he kisses you properly, surprisingly soft and chaste. (You didn't think he had it in him.) It’s over far too soon, and when he pulls back, your eyes flutter open to find him studying you. The moment is delicate, just the sound of your breathing as his eyes search yours and time seems to stretch into infinity. 

All you do is lean forward a little, and you seem to fall into each other, his lips meeting yours again, this time with a bit of urgency. You, instead of retreating, accept it, pressing towards him and tentatively lifting your own hand to his cheek. The reassurance flooding Dark is immediate, prompting him to bring your body closer to him. You inhale sharply in surprise, but again don’t move away, relaxing in his embrace. 

Despite the kissing lasting longer than expected, you removing your lips from his still happens much too quickly. Your face is fully flushed, now; he wonders if his cheeks convey the same.

Your voice is soft; one might call it breathless. “You had the discussion…just for that?”

“Well, I had to get you here somehow.” There’s a ghost of a toothy grin for a moment, before his face softens—actually softens, if but a little. “And I meant everything I said.”

Your eyes dart away, sheepish. “Oh…thanks…”

“How do you feel about dinner?”

Those were not words Dark expected out of his mouth, and nor did you, by the way your head whips back up toward him. “Dinner? We eat dinner at the manor all the time.”

“You know what I meant.” A genuine, small smile graces his face. “Just you and me.”

“Y-yeah.” You bite at your lip; he hears your heart rate jump up again. “That sounds…great. When?”

“Tonight, as long as everything goes according to plan.”

You give a small nod, then nod again, more definitively. “Yeah. Sounds good to me.”

“Splendid.” Dark kisses your forehead, then releases you. His arms already feel empty without you there. “I will come get you when everything is ready. I’ll see you later, darling.”

Darling. Something else that just slipped out. But it feels…right, to borrow that from the past. And, with the way you look at him after it, eyes shining with something he cannot yet fully place, perhaps he will keep calling you “darling.” And, maybe soon, his darling.

[yannisrandomstuff]

Could i get alt Gabe and real Gabe crushing on the same person??

Okay I now have the motivation to finish this

Let's just say, somehow susbriel KNOWS that toonbriel also crushing on the same s/o

Let's start with susbriel

He didn't really realize it that he's falling inlove until he reads some books about it

There he is falling inlove with you. He's actually surprised about it, who could've thought that he'll fall inlove with a human?

So now everything he visits you he would bring you 1 red roses then complimenting you

He would help you cook or just watch you cook

He sometimes even day dream of you and him getting married after he kill all the humans

He sometimes tells you some of his stories back in the day when he was still an angel (of course you didn't know that he was now a demon because he disguised himself as an angel and it will stay that way forever or not)

if you weren't uncomfortable of him being lovey dovey with you, he doesn't care ^^ (no one can stop him loving you)

He would bring you one of the most antique objects that are expensive if you ask where he get this he would just brush it off and not answer the question leaving you all curious

No alternates will ever near your house and if they did they better pray to the real God

When altGabriel will be away for 5 or more months he will send an alternate to watch over you (until a bright shining light will kill them)

* times when you and him aren't really a couple yet* he acts like he's your husband frfr

"Gabe your not my husband"

"yet"

He has a hobby to just pull you close using his "wings" (that he DEFINITELY not stole from someone)

Now with Toonbriel

(Don't attack me for this )

Believe it or not he actually saw you first before susbriel

He actually saw you when he's in his human form, just roaming and observing mandela County

When he saw you let's say... love at first sight

He likes giving you a bouquet of flowers when you are alone in the house

Sometimes you get dreams of a boy who seem to look like alt gabe with a few differences

That boy is angel Gabriel showing up in your dreams and complimenting you and warns you about a serpent who disguise itself as a dove

There's time when you go out to buy groceries you both will encounter each other (toonbriel in human disguise) and hoth of you will have conversations

He likes it whenever he cooks for you just to show and prove to you that he really loved you

Gets jealous of susbriel since he always get to be with you

Likes putting notes in your desk "please don't overwork yourself take care dear"

You thought those notes are from alt gabe

Writes you love letters

*If the reader did not met susbriel and only met toonbriel*

He will be very romantic

Same with alt gabe he acts like he's your boyfriend

But he knows his limitations, if you're not comfortable about the way he acts around you he will change that (he gets a bit sad tho)

Now when altGabriel know that archGabriel is also crushing on his s/o

AltGabriel will be furious tho but his pride is high enough that his s/o will not fall for somebody like ArchGabriel (i would 🙋‍♀️)

He finds it pathetic that Angel Gabriel is trying so hard while Gabriel Already made his s/o fall for him

When he found out those love letters made by angel Gabriel he burns them all

Angel Gabriel on the other hand is shocked on why Gabriel Did that, but it won't stop him from seeing you

Of course Gabriel knew that Angel Gabriel is attending your dreams so when you guys talk in the sofa he also tells you about the serpent disguise as a dove referring to angel Gabriel, decieving you so that you will never trust Angel Gabriel

You just thought of it as a joke and didn't listen to him

Angel Gabriel just talks to you in your dreams telling you that he loves you very much

Basically this is a competition but Gabriel know that he would win because angel Gabriel can't be around you when Gabriel is around the house and Gabriel took that advantage so he never leaves your house ever again

Gabriel still leave the house but only for a short time hoping that he would catch angel Gabriel and just straight off locking him again

That's all JWKAJAJAJAVASGAUAY

[xjulixred45x]

The Paladins (+Lotor and Allura) x Komori!Reader.

reader: feminine

Genre: Headcannons

Warnings: nothing worrisome. fluff.

Shiro

And he knows you is like "PROTECT AT ALL COSTS"

chances are they saved you from some group of idiots with bad intentions. So Shiro is a good listener after that. you stay with them because well, there is not much choice.

Cleaning up the castle a bit, cooking with Hunk, making sure everyone is well fed and happy, you pretty much become a space mom.

And Shiro is the space father.

Try to help you reach things on the high shelves. Although he finds it cute, he himself will lower things from the high wings to avoid future accidents.

He is not very sweet but he will eat everything you cook.

Yui is about 1.58 and Shiro is more or less 1.80, HUGS WOULD BE FANTASTIC.

He is by far the most gentle of all. Understand that having that attitude all the time can be a great mental drain, so if you need a break or be the one to take care of for a while. Count on him.

Saying how he appreciates how you raise the morale of the group in your own way .

It's too cute, I can't-

Keith

It is the most difficult by far, but not impossible (especially with your attitude).

At first he saw you more as a victim, a poor soul in a way. I didn't expect you to be so...lively afterwards.

See how, despite everything, you continued to be happy, cheering everyone on-CHEERING HIM, taking care of him, worrying about everyone...

It made me see you more as a survivor than a victim.

It made him respect you for handling the situation like that. At the same time he began to show more interest, in a way.

Similar to Shiro, he shows his appreciation to you for acts of service. Not only helping with the heavy stuff, but also being the first to jump in front of you if there's an attack on the castle.

Again, he doesn't have a sweet tooth, but if you ask him to try something for dinner, he'll pretend to grudgingly if he does.

When they move into some sort of relationship, not much changes, except that it's more open and the protection kicks in.

If Keith gets mad at something or someone(coughcofLANCEcofcough) he will go straight to you to vent, this is especially true when he becomes the black lion pilot. You want to know if what you are saying is valid or if you are getting carried away.

You are by far the most trusted person on the ship (along with Shiro).

Lance

Lance is the one who falls the fastest, and falls HARD

Make it very clear to him when he wants something with you, but not in the same way as when he is casually flirting with someone. They are like a little more personal questions, you know if he can have something with you.

Lance misses life on earth a lot, it is a fact, that you want to take care of him, listen to his problems and assure him that he is not the "seventh wheel" of the group means A LOT to him.

Also since you don't invalidate his concerns and contrast them with real, positive facts about him, he doesn't have to be the clown of the group to be able to talk to you.

That's probably why he fell in love so quickly.

Chivalrous ASF, opening the doors, giving up the seat, helping with heavy things that he can barely carry, etc.

There's also a bit of insecurity about dating you, he's full of doubts about whether he's really enough for you, comparing himself to the other paladins in the party. Although you shut it up immediately because you know it's true.

Cuddly! Lots of hugs and kisses on the cheeks. Especially if you did something like cook for the WHOLE group or just walked a healthy line between helping everyone and helping yourself.

He definitely wants to introduce you to his family (especially if you don't have one of your own)! He assures you that they will receive you and love you just as much as they love you!

TOO CUTE I CAN'T-

Hunk

! kitchen companions!

Both can spend hours and hours exchanging recipes, telling cooking stories, experiences, etc. and never get bored.

They have something like a system to be able to make meals between the two of them so as not to overload the other with work. eg, you the desserts, the dinner, you the dinner, the desserts, miti miti, etc.

They taste each other's food 🥺

Hunk is also considered the most morale booster in a certain way, so under no circumstances will he let you feel bad or inferior to them just for not being a paladin! You help in many other ways!

Hunk is also considered the most morale booster in a certain way, so under no circumstances will he let you feel bad or inferior to them just for not being a paladin! You help in many other ways!

It's the best shoulder to cry on if things get too tense or if you just can't keep happy for once, that's okay.

similar to Lance, he wants to introduce you to his family, his parents more than anything, he knows that children naturally love you, but it is very IMPORTANT that their parents approve of you.

Needless to say, you have it around your finger ;).

Pidge(romantic/platonic)

She's used to being the one the group cares about most as the youngest, so your joining is a breath of fresh air.

Don't get her wrong, Paladins respect her, but not in the same way that YOU respect her. You still see her as a child, but you also recognize her brilliant mind and trust her to protect you.

You are very aware of her, whether it is for her to bathe, remember to eat, sleep long enough, etc. You remind him a lot of a mother hen.

She may seem upset about this at first, but it's really because you remind her of her own mother, which makes her nostalgic and somewhat sad.

But he quickly gets over it because he KNOWS you're doing it with their best interests in mind.

Love your food, really love it, especially if it tastes like peanuts.

If he gets in trouble with Lance or any of the Paladins, he goes and hides behind you, like a little kid with an evil grin.

Damn gremlin.

Allura

Girls' nights Girls' nights Girls' nights Girls' nights Girls' nights-

They become friends very quickly! She gets along very well with paladins, yes, but with you it's a whole new level.

I doubt Allura has ever been attracted to a woman, so when she starts to see you differently, she doesn't know what to do or whether to act "normal."

I'll probably even go to the other paladins for advice because lance and Koran don't help much.

I think she is the one who tries the most to hide this crush, more because she wants to give the image of a confident and determined leader, she wants to take the courage to say it.

And when she says it, she also gets nervous and somewhat clumsy. But adorable.

PROTECC will not hesitate to use brute force if you put yourself in danger.

Protective, even worse than Keith.

Afternoons of hair care with the space mice (seriously LOOK AT HER BEAUTIFUL HAIR).

Lotor

Let's be honest, you probably met him when he was held prisoner by the paladins and he had some degree of appreciation for you at first.

But then you started to worry about him (maybe because he reminded you of yourself when you were saved by the paladins) and you couldn't leave it like that.

So, for the sake of his mental health and your peace of mind, you made sure he was…comfortable in a way.

The Paladins+ Allura OBVIOUSLY didn't want you to do them, but there was little they could do to stop you.

You brought him food, water, things to entertain himself, blankets in case it was cold, you tried to make small talk, etc.

At first he just thought it was out of pity, so he rejected you the first few times.

But he realized pretty quickly that it was more like... empathy. you felt identified with him. So he wasn't so rude to you and started to appreciate that, you treated him like a living being regardless of his race. he likes you

When they let him walk through the castle of lions, he will most likely thank you for the good treatment compared to how the paladins saw him.

Try to "thank" you in other ways, mainly helping you out when the other paladins aren't around or can't handle it, learning a little more about human culture, and generally speaking more generally to pass the time.

If Allura and Keith were bad with overprotection, Lotor is that squared. Now that he appreciates you, there is no escaping affection.

Also, Lotor is TALL, even taller than Shiro, he could easily throw you over his shoulder and not even break a sweat.

He just can't help but find your human being too ADORABLE.

Sorry I couldn't think of much more for this part :')

[dearweirdme]

Hii, it’s me again, here to reply to you and to those other anons!

First, as a general thing, my point wasn’t really to open a conversation about Minsung specifically, nor to convince people about them (even tho the first sentence of the duet they released together is literally “I fell in love with you unexpectedly”; now imagine Taekook being the ones to sing that…). Watching them just sparked those thoughts I shared, because of the stark difference. However, to the person who said it, I fundamentally disagree with this:

"but any kpop ships being painfully obvious reduce their chance of being legit."

I just think we don’t put the same meaning behind “obvious”. Because, for example, Taekook imo have been painfully obvious ever since I got into the group in late 2016. “The obvious” is relative.

But in the end Rain, you’re right, we can’t really compare the two, and there’s a good possibility that JYPE indeed learned from BH’s mistakes.

For the rest, you’re probably right as well, it’s likely that it boiled down to just that. Just making sure it wouldn’t come out as the group finally started to take off. Your other anons were sorta wrong, and you right again, in the sense that the shift happened in 2016, between Fire and Wings schematically. And Wings would end up being the first big steppingstone into what would become their international mega success. Probably that they couldn’t risk a queer relationship derailing all of that, and, timeline wise, 2016 is where Taekook’s relationship changes in some way (Smart Event anybody?) while external forces seem to come into play – ie, and I know you don’t really buy into it if I remember correctly, but there might be some truth to the idea that Dispatch caught them at the time and came to BH about it.

With that being said, it still seems a lot of the time counterproductive. But you raise a valid point when you point out how much “worse” it could have been had they been left to their own device. They can be pretty loud as it is.

As for 2018 (I know it wasn’t mentioned in my ask nor in your reply, but other anons have talked about it and ofc I have thoughts), I personally think that, while their relationship wasn’t the reason they all nearly reached their breaking point, it did heavily play into considering to disband, at least for them two. Maybe they thought of running away together, far from the restrictions and this success that scared them, far from a place where they had to somewhat sacrifice their relationship and who they were on top of all the hardships and exhaustion. I think the object of Yoongi’s texts was to precisely reassure them about this, that the others were there for them, that they would support them and protect them and their relationship. And maybe that changed everything.

I don’t really know in the end, nobody does, but we all saw that from that point onward, things began to shift. It wasn’t as sudden and drastic as the first time, it took a lot of time, but it did change and evolve, to get to where we are now. And had you told me back in the beginning of 2017 that 2023 Taekook would be like this, I wouldn’t have been able to believe you.

Man I can’t wait to see what’ll happen once MS is behind them. Dare I say, I’m hopeful. Maybe they’ll keep surprising us.

Hi again @syneepsis!

Yeah, when I posted your ask I already expected there to be some discussion about the realness of Minsung. To be fair, your ask was kinda trying to compare the two... and realness is a factor in that.

I know very well that to understand a ship, you have to know way more about it than what's on the surface. It has become so clear that most people have no clue about Tae and Jk, I absolutely think it's possible that's also the case for other ships. Perception of obviousness certainly is a factor. I personally think things become more obvious once you see the whole picture. To me for instance Tae posting the Hawaii pics would fall into the more obvious category.. because it's consistent behavior from his side, to other's however (non-tkkrs) there is little obvious about it.

I have little opinion on the "Dispatch caught them" situation to be honest. It's certainly possible they know about them, or at least heavily suspect. I'm not sure we have seen anything that definitely points to that though. I think Dispatch and Hybe have agreements about how to portray BTS members in general. Tae and Jk would fall under those even without being a couple.

Closeting a queer couple is always counterproductive in a way, because it puts limits on personal freedom. I think any case of clsoeting comes with hurting those involved. It doesn't really matter if the closeted party rationally agrees, because on a human level.. the feelings involved would still be hurt. Closeting happens because of outside pressure and expectations, that in itself is the hurtfull part.

In the 2018 conversation, I'm not sure what I think is most likely. I can see several things being true. What I'm most sure of is that all members seriously thought about disbanding. It shows how tought they had it. I definitely think Tae and JK had an extra factor that weighed heavily on them, I don't know if that was something that lead the way they considered this though. Chances are they both wanted to stay in music even after disbanding BTS, and they still would have had to deal with not being able to be out (unless you think solo artists are more able to be out, but I personally don't think so). I think Yoongi's text to the two of them is extremely signifact either way though. It show how Tae and Jk were seen as a unit in this. It shows how they had the same concerns and how they both needed some assurances to be able to go on. That text and the way it has been spoken of is one of the reasons why to me the 'Taekook is distant' narrative from around those years is such bs.

I do think it's possible they negotiated better terms. We do see a shift in Tkkry and I think it started before the ITS talk indeed.

[jiliansky-blog]

The Nightmare and the Dreamer. Chapter 3. An exploration

Pairing: Morpheus x FemaleReader

Rating: PG

Words: 2170

In your dreams, you saw this world as beautiful and picturesque. It wasn’t so dark and covered in snow. Perhaps, Morpheus didn’t look like a nightmare either, but you didn’t see him. And you were curious, once again, what could happen to him.

And you were woken by the sound of knocking.  Is it Dad? Because your sister rarely knocks. But then you opened your eyes and saw that you weren’t in your room or even in the hospital. You were still in the castle. So it wasn’t actually a dream.

You heard the second knock. And it wasn’t in the door. Someone was knocking at the window. You didn’t see anyone, but that doesn’t mean anything since everybody, except Morpheus, was invisible. And you opened the window.

“Finally!” you said in a grumpy voice. “It took you long enough!”

“I’m sorry, I was sleeping”, you replied. “And I couldn’t realize immediately where I was. You could at least wait till I wake up”.

“Fair enough”, he sighed. “Did you sleep well?”

“Yes, I did”, you replied. “I suppose I see this place in its former glory. When it wasn’t so dark and lonely”.

“Oh yes”, he sighed. “But I didn’t remember these times”.

“Can you tell me what happened to you?” you tried to ask.

“No, sorry, kid”, he said. “But I should admit that you handled all this situation pretty well”.

“Well, I always like a good fantasy story”, you replied. “Or maybe I just don’t fully believe that it is real. I’m sleeping”.

“You are sleeping, but it is real”, Matthew said. “When I became a raven, I also couldn’t believe in it”.

“So you were human”, you said. “Or something else?”

“Human, yes”, he replied. “But no one prepared me for the fact that I became a raven. And an invisible raven in this dark kingdom”.

“Yes, I can understand you”, you said. “So what are you preparing for me today? Is Lord Morpheus going to show up for me?”

“I don’t know about him”, he said. “It depends on his mood. He can hide in his room for days”.

“And where is his room?” you asked with curiosity.

“In the west wing," he said, and he shut his mouth and started bouncing with anxiety. “I shouldn’t say that. Forget it”.

“Already forgot”, you smiled to calm him down.

“But you will have breakfast in the dining room”, he said, calmer. “Perhaps your boss will join you, but I’m not sure”.

“Alright, lead the way”, you replied. “Or give me a minute to change clothes”.

You put on a simple green dress and went to the dining room. There were toasts, coffee, milk, sausages, and eggs. And everything looked so delicious.

“That’s gorgeous”, you replied. “I didn’t know you could eat so much food in the dream. I hope I won’t become oversized in real life”.

“No, you won’t”, said Matthew. “Do you want me to show you around the castle and surroundings? Since the boss is not going to leave his room”.

“I will be glad”, you said. “Thank you”.

And after your breakfast, you went to explore the castle. There was no light, no sun, in these walls. Even the windows were closed.

“That won’t do”, you said, and you began to open windows. “We don’t need to make the castle darker than it already is”.

“Boss won’t be pleased”, Matthew admitted.

“First, he will need to talk to me”, you said. “Maybe he won’t ignore the sunlight”.

“Do you want so much to meet him?” he asked. “He can be very angry and put you somewhere in a less pleasant room. Or in the darkness”.

“To let the sunlight in isn’t a crime”, you replied. “And he didn’t forbid me to do it. Maybe, he will talk to me after that”.

The more light that came into the castle, the more fairy tale-like it became. And there were a lot of rooms that were empty.

“Why are they empty?” you asked.

“Boss designs them according to the situation”, the raven replied. “Or according to guests. Now he is not in the mood to design them”.

“I see”, you said. “It’s good that my room was decorated”.

“You know, it’s actually funny”, he said. “He saw it in your imagination and prepared it for you yesterday”.

“What?” you asked, confused. “But he closed me in an empty room”.

“I think he was going to invite you to this room of yours”, he said. “Later”.

“Do you really think so?” you asked.

“It’s his style”, he replied. “I told you. He can be charming and thoughtful”.

You liked that thought. Perhaps, he isn’t that terrible. Then you came to the big stairs.

“What is there?” you asked about another part of the castle.

“You shouldn’t go there”, he said. “It’s his chamber.”.

“Alright, alright”, you agreed, for now. “Can you show me what's outside the castle?”

Outside was a garden. There were still flowers covered in snow. It looked like winter took them by surprise. But they were magical, so they didn’t freeze and die. And there were roses. The reason is why you were here.

“Come on, I will show you a few more places”, Matthew said. “But after that, you shouldn’t go very far from here”.

“Why not?” you asked.

“It can be dangerous”, he replied. "When the boss locked himself in the castle, nightmares roamed these lands”.

“Alright”, you said. “Noted”.

Matthew showed me the half-destroyed bridge and iced river. And then brought me to two cute houses. They looked like postcards.

“Is there someone living?” you asked.

“Yes, Cain and Abel”, Matthew said. “We have a guest, open the door”.

The door opened, but you didn’t see anyone. Still, you see the light inside the house, and you smell the scent of food.

“Welcome to the House of Mysteries”, said a male voice. “We didn’t have guests for such a long time. I’m Abel”.

“Y\N,”, you replied, and you entered the cozy house.

“How did you get here, if I can ask?” he asked, closing the door. “Don’t think that I’m rude. Just curious”.

“My father was here”, you replied. “I just replaced him. Well, I wanted to find him in the dream, and he appeared here”.

“And you stay here now?” he asked.

“Well, Lord Morpheus made me stay”, you sighed. “I didn’t have a choice. My father wanted to pick the rose, and he got angry”.

“Oh dear”, he said. “He can be angry sometimes. Especially after this…”

“Abel, do you have something for us?” interrupted Matthew.

But you weren’t so easily confused.

“After this, what?” you asked. “A curse?”

“You don’t need to worry about that”, Matthew quickly replied.

“What are you hiding from me?” you asked.

They didn’t hurry to answer you. But you guessed that their invisibility, the monstrous form of Morpheus, and the darkness in this world are connected to the curse. But you wanted to know who cursed them, why and how to break it.

“What is going on?” you asked.

“We can’t tell you”, Abel says apologetically. “I’m sorry”.

“Guess, I need to find out everything myself”, you sighed.

“Please don’t”, he said quickly. “Our Lord doesn’t like when someone is snooping around. You don’t want to make him angry again”.

It seemed you could only gain answers from Morpheus himself. If he is going to talk to you eventually. If he comes out of his room.

“Now, let me treat you with some food and tea”, Abel suggested. “I’m so happy that I have a guest. Cain wouldn’t be so pleased”.

After the tea, you left his home. You want to explore more of this world. You didn’t know when you would have such an opportunity again.

“Can you show me more around?” you asked.

“No, it’s not safe”, Matthew replied. "And the boss will be furious”.

“Please, just a little bit more?” you asked. “It is so interesting here”.

“Okay, till an unsafe point”, he said.

And you went further. Then you can see the woods in the fog. Creepy. You can only imagine the nightmares that were hiding there.

“Now we can go back”, he said. “Don’t go to that forest. That can be dangerous”.

“Yes, I understand already”, you replied. “Let’s go to the castle”.

You imagine what life could be before that curse. That can be a marvelous place. And you start thinking about Morpheus again.

"When is he going to see me?” you asked.

“I don’t know”, Matthew replied. “When he will be in a good mood and calm down a little. You need to give him time”.

It wasn’t reassuring at all.

Morpheus

 That girl didn’t want to wake up or escape. She was wandering around the castle and the Dreaming. She came to the House of Mysteries. Why wasn't she afraid?

“My lord?” I heard Lucienne’s voice.

“Yes?” I replied.

“You need to join her for dinner”, she said. “I tried to talk to her at least”.

“I don’t want to scare her away”, I replied.

“My lord, she can be the one who set us free”, after the pause, said Lucienne. “She is the brave one. And she didn’t try to escape yet.”.

“Do you think it’s a good idea?” I asked. “I am a monster. Who can love me in this form?”

“You need to try to become her friend at least”, she said.

“Why?” I asked.

“If you want her to stay and help all of us”, she replied. “Just give her the chance”.

There was a very small chance that this girl could break a curse. But she was the first girl who appeared her in a long time.

“She is a real dreamer”, Lucienne admitted. “And the appearance isn’t everything”.

“Very well”, I decided. “I will meet her at the dinner. She is better off coming this time”.

“And it would be better”, Lucienne said carefully. “For you to be more patient and gentle. She can be a little bit scared by your appearance as it is”.

“Alright”, I sighed. “I will try”.

“A dinner?” you asked unbelievably. “With him?”

“Well, you wanted dinner with him”, admitted Matthew. “That’s your chance to break the ice. Or for him to make something nice”.

“Yeah, you are right”, you sighed. “I don’t need to hide like he did. I need at least to thank him for the room”.

“Just be careful with him”, said Lucienne.

“I will be”, you said. “I don’t want him to be mad at me”.

They made you wear a cute white dress. Now you looked like a pure innocence. But you like your reflection in the mirror.

“Time to go”, you said nervously.

And Lucienne took you to the dining room. For these few days, you started to think that you gave him a nightmarish look before you were angry and scared. But he didn’t change much when you met him at the dinner.

He was still like a shadow. His skin was pale under his silky black coat. He has long fingers with the claws. Hair was long and feather-like. He has fangs. And his eyes were like deep black pools. He didn’t look like a human. But for some reason, you weren’t scared.

“Lord Morpheus?” you asked carefully.

“You aren’t scared”, he said, almost hissing.

“I suppose I’m not”, you, sat to the table.

There was something in him outwardly. You thought who can do this him and why.

“Thank you for my room”, you said. “It’s charming”.

“I’m glad you like it”, he replied.

The food appeared on the table. And you didn’t know what to tell him.

“And thank you for all this food”, you said.

“You were wandering around the castle”, he said. “And opened curtains”.

“Yes, your castle is beautiful, but it’s lacking in light”, you replied. “I’m sure it won’t do harm to bring more light”.

“Yet it’s not your castle”, he said.

“I know, my lord,”, you replied. “I just want to make your castle brighter. And you're free to close up again here”.

“You are the brave one”, he admitted.

“Thank you”, you smiled.

“You take everything so calmly,”, he said.

“I read a lot of books about different worlds and places”, you replied. “And I’m glad to be in one of them”.

“Even as a prisoner?” he raised an eyebrow.

“Well, I am not locked up in a cell or a room”, you admitted.

You started to eat, but he didn’t. He simply watched you, and you started to blush. Why was he watching you so attentively?

“So, no one wants to talk about what happened here”, you tried. “So I thought maybe you can tell me what is going on”.

The mood changed. The room became darker, and Morpheus frowned.

“It’s not a concern of yours”, he replied.

“I am here”, you said. “So I have the right to know”.

“No”, he said coldly. “You have nothing to do with this. And you can’t do anything with us. So just…be here”. And he stood up and left the room. The dinner and the conversation didn’t work well for you.

@shadowqueen1318 @mypsychoticlove @justathirstyhoe​ @ladymoztaza @sapphireonline @deniixlovezelda

[philomenie]

MOON HILL

4 Beings from a different time, a different world than today. Rivals, friends, allies from the beginning of time. 4 magical beings, long separated, now reunited to save what means the most to them. Moon Hill

Nicholas: Peuchen, vampire-like winged serpent, demon Joakim: Fenris, Fenrir, wolf-like demigod Nick: Kerberus, hellhound Noah: Yokai, demon, Chi o nomu hito, blood-drinker, also Kyuketsuki, vampire

CN Fantasy, Mystery, Mention of Blood, Torture, Killing, Betrayal

Collage from @aubrey-melinoe 🫶🏻

FIVE

Reader

When Elin leaves the bathroom, Skadi is waiting for her.

"Are you going to warn me now too?"

"I don't have to warn you, I think you know exactly how risky everything is!"

Elin looks at her closely, "Skadi, you're not hiding anything from me, are you? I mean nothing more?"

Skadi sighs, "I have a hunch, but no proof, what I do know is that you must be directly descended from the first Völva!"

"And what do you suspect?"

Skadi chews on her lower lip, thinking about how to tell Elin.

"I'm waiting, Skadi, and I've run out of patience! I want answers!"

"I suspect you could be the reincarnation of Hella!"

"WHAT?" Elin didn't suspect that now.

"Your effect on Noah is just like Hella's, Folio told me all about it. Even your connection to Joakim, say you're attracted to him, right?"

"I .... " Elin swallows "Attracted.... I feel comfortable with him, safe, like I've known him for ages. The longer he's here, the stronger the feeling becomes. When I touch him..." she breaks off.

Skadi nods thoughtfully "That would fit. Hella and Joakim loved each other very much!"

"You mean that's not real? Not my real feelings?"

"No, I don't mean that, your feelings are real, your blood remembers him! But that doesn't mean you're at his mercy!"

"And him?"

Skadi shakes her head, "I don't know and I can't ask him, I think he'd kill me on sight if he had the chance!"

"Understandable, I saw what he suffered, felt his pain, how he gave up!" Elin's voice harsh.

Skadi looks to the ground "I have to live with this guilt, I can only hope he can forgive me one day. If not, I'll have to accept it, but I won't die without a fight!"

"You really think he would kill you?" Elin asks incredulously.

"Elin, you've never seen him at full strength, if he's still changing, the Fenris wolf is.... Why do you think Odin wanted to subdue him and then, when that didn't work, render him harmless forever?"

Elin swallows.

"He's powerful, he's strong and he's a threat to his enemies! You haven't seen them all shapeshifted.... They may seem harmless to you in their human form, but they're not! I know they won't harm a hair on your head, they'll defend you to the death, but don't forget, they're all immortal creatures who have been on this earth for eons!"

"Just like you....."

Skadi sighs "Just like me, yes!"

"As a child, my mother told me the old sagas and stories, the Edda.... I can't remember everything. Especially not about Ragnarök. That's why I'm asking you Skadi, is there anything else I need to know that's important?"

Skadi looks at her sadly, "Yes Elin, there is something else. Something that you probably won't like at all and was another reason for Odin's actions!"

"Tell me, everything!"

"The Fenris wolf triggers the twilight of the gods, the world conflagration, by killing Odin. He himself is killed by Odin's son Vidar.... That's what the Edda predicts."

Elin stares at Skadi, stunned. "But I thought the Nothing threatened everything? That the shrine is under threat, that the imbalance will trigger the end of the world!"

"I suspect that the Nothing could take hold of Joakim and use him.... That's why I was prepared to keep him imprisoned!"

"But it was your fault that the power imbalance happened in the first place, wasn't it, because you betrayed him?" Elin gets louder and louder.

"Elin, yes, it's that complicated!"

"No, it's not complicated, if you had left him alone, nothing would ever have happened!"

"You don't know that, the Edda says it just like that.... That it's already underway now, a complication!"

"Complication?" Elin gasps.

"By keeping him prisoner, you've forced it, damn it! If he's so dangerous and powerful, why didn't you leave him alone?"

Skadi lowers her eyes guiltily.

"It was a mistake... I..…"

But Elin has heard enough, angrily turns around and leaves Skadi standing there.

Elin slips back into the guest room, Joakim is still asleep.

She quietly lies back down next to him and just as she is about to take his hand again, he is startled out of his sleep and sits up, his hands raised in defense.

With glittering eyes, he stares at Elin, who sits up.

"WHO are you?!"

Elin shakes her head "I don't know anymore!" She feels tears gathering in her eyes.

Joakim slowly lowers his arms and Elin can see his carotid artery pulsating.

She carefully places a hand over his. He flinches at the touch, stares at her hand and swallows.

"I've felt it too, ever since you were brought here. Gently at first, then getting stronger and stronger. With every touch. It pulses through my veins. I can't explain it, but it's as if I've always known you....."

Joakim looks at her wildly, "Hella?!" his voice dies away.

Elin shrugs her shoulder, "I don't know, her blood, her spirit.... Something in me remembers you and something in you remembers me, or my blood!"

Tears are now streaming down her face.

Joakim is still staring at her in disbelief, too afraid to admit the thought. Afraid of feeling nothing but pain again.

"It can't be, Hella is dead... I...." Abruptly, he pulls his hand back from her.

"I'll go, if that's what you want!" Elin offers.

Joakim nods silently and looks away.

Elin leaves the room and lets her tears run free. Damn, why does it hurt her so much when she doesn't even know him.

In the kitchen, Skadi and Folio prepare breakfast and Elin leaves the house unnoticed by either of them. Thor and Freya follow her like shadows.

She would love to ride out with Asa right now, but Noah and Nicholas..... are in the stables.

Will she manage to get her horse and bridle unnoticed? Don't vampires sleep during the day? Oh damn, she has to try!

Elin leaves her dogs waiting for her outside the stables, first fetches the saddle and halter, then Asa from her stall.

With enough distance to the stable, she saddles her horse, mounts and rides off into the forest, Thor and Freya at her side again.

Noah

He has rested worse, but also better. He is irritable, he also realizes that he needs blood, he needs to nourish himself.

It's broad daylight, but fortunately no direct sun, it's cloudy.

Direct sun does not kill him, but it and the heat weaken him and make his transformation more difficult. That is why it prefers the night and coolness.

Nicholas, who is still sleeping on his lounger, has no problem at all with the sun, in fact he loves it. He's more bothered by the cold and wet.

Noah twists one corner of his mouth in amusement, ironic that they are limited by such mundane things as sun, cold, wet and heat.

Folio and Joakim, on the other hand, don't have to struggle with these things at all.

He briefly considers waking Nicholas to go hunting with him, but then abandons the idea. He prefers to let him sleep, to rest.

Nicholas and he can also eat human food, but that makes them both rather sluggish. Without blood, they are weakened and do not have their full strength, which they need now.

Noah quietly leaves the chamber. When he looks up, he sees that the stable door is open. His gaze wanders over the stalls. Damn, her horse is missing.

Surely she won't be foolish enough to ride out alone?

Noah's anger boils up. He is in the house in a flash. He hears voices in the kitchen.

"Where's Elin?" Folio and Skadi flinch, startled.

"At Joakim's!" Skadi is the first to find her voice again.

Noah growls out... "Her horse is gone!"

"That can't be, I saw her go into his room!"

Noah only half hears because he is already on his way to Joakim's room, he pulls open the door, looks around.

Joakim sits up immediately, knowing the look "What happened?"

"Where is she?"

"Elin?"

"Yes, Elin, she's not here.... Her horse is gone and she's not here!"

Joakim groans out, "Damn!"

"What did you do!" Noah growls, his eyes now blood red.

Folio joins in "She's not in the house, I've looked in all the rooms, her bloody dogs are gone too!"

Noah snarls, Joakim closes his eyes.

"I'm going to find her! Wake up Nicholas, Folio!" Noah's orders short.

Joakim wants to get up "I'm coming with you!"

"YOU stay here, I have no idea what you did to her or what you said to her, but she's gone now! So you're not going to do anything!"

Joakim winces, staring angrily at Noah, "I'm coming with you, you're not going to look for her on your own!"

"You're not a help, you're more of a hindrance!" and with that, Noah is gone.

"What did you say to her?" Folio's voice calm.

"I... She, Folio she's.... I... " Joakim can only stammer.

Folio nods, "Her blood, isn't it, I can feel it too, it's like that time...."

Joakim nods silently.

"Skadi thinks Elin might be a reincarnation of Hella..."

Joakim's head snaps up in a flash "SKADI?" he gasps.

"Bloody...." Folio grits his teeth.

"You're not going to tell me THAT THIS BITCH IS HERE! HERE WITH YOU??"

"Joakim, please, calm down....."

But he doesn't want to, too much anger has built up, too much has happened, not tearing Folio's throat out has already taken all his strength, but the fact that Skadi is here is too much.

With a furious growl, Joakim lunges at Folio, pulling him off his feet. Folio is stunned by the force and power that is back in his friend. Frozen, he looks at the face distorted by rage, sees the eyes glowing red, hears the deep growl coming from Joakim's throat.

Noah looks around outside the house, where could she have gone? In all directions really... it would take too long to find her on his own. Damn, he needs the help of the others to find this stubborn woman.

At the thought of Elin, he feels that sweet desire in his chest again, can feel her under his hands again.

He growls, he must either continue to stay absolutely away from her, or he must have her, in any way he can think of, and yes, he can think of many ways to do that....

Noah is the first to wake Nicholas, who is immediately on his feet, his expression worried.

"We have to find her, she's not safe alone. Who knows who's looking for us, and then we don't know if the Hollow is aware of her role."

"Bloody hell I know! And that blasted wolf is to blame!"

"What did he tell her?"

"I don't know, but she disappeared after she was with him..... The look on his face when I confronted him.... Something's happened!"

"Let's get Folio and Skadi, the four of us will probably find her quicker!" suggests Nicholas.

"That was exactly my plan!"

When they re-enter the house to get Folio and Skadi, they both realize that the situation has changed somewhat.

Folio is lying on the ground, the Fenris wolf with glowing red eyes above him, its mouth around Folio's neck, ready to bite.

"Damn it, Joakim, not now!" Noah is indignant.

WHERE IS SKADI! Joakim's voice in all their heads.

"Joakim, please, let him go, we have to find Elin first, I know you want your revenge and we won't deny it to you, but not now!" Nicholas' calm voice seems to get through to the wolf, because he pulls away from Folio, growling.

I'm coming with you, we'll find Elin and then I'll tear Skadi to pieces! Joakim's eyes glow even more than before.

Folio has picked himself up from the ground, glaring at the Fenris wolf, "You won't kill her, I won't let you!"

Joakim growls angrily at him.

"Joakim....." Skadi steps into the hallway, a mistake.

Blind with rage, Joakim lunges at the Asin, tearing her clothes to shreds with his claws, leaving deep gashes on her skin.

Folio gasps and rushes after him to prevent the worst, beginning to transform in the process.

Noah and Nicholas stare stunned at the scene before them.

Joakim has Skadi in his clutches, all he has to do is bite, seal her fate.

Folio leaps at his friend from behind, his heads bite into the wolf's back, causing it to yelp and loosen its bite around Skadi's neck.

Skadi can then slip away downwards.

Panting, bleeding and with eyes wide open, she looks at her opponents.

Joakim snaps at Folio's head, writhing, his claws tearing at the hellhound's chest.

Noah finally breaks free from his stupor, grabs Folio and tries to pull him away, Nicholas tries to clutch Joakim.

Both fight back vehemently, snatching and scratching.

The four bodies are intertwined like a ball, Noah's and Nicholas' fangs extended, ready to bite.

Joakim throws himself against the wall with Nicholas clinging to his side to get rid of him. Nicholas gasps in pain, loosens his grip and Joakim shakes him off. He bares his teeth and attacks Folio again with Noah on his back, biting into his shoulder and catching Noah, who sinks his fangs into the Fenris wolf's neck with a snarl.

Driven by the pain, Noah transforms, his limbs stretch, become stronger, his clothes tear and fall from his body, his skin snow-white, blood-red, black-rimmed eyes with a piercing gaze. His jaw jumps forward, he tears open his deadly mouth and bites again.

Joakim howls in pain.

Nicholas has also shifted and shoots like an arrow between Noah and Joakim, preventing Noah from tearing open the Fenris wolf's throat.

Noah lets go.

Gasping and bleeding, the four stare at each other in rage.

[topconfessions]

[ask] hi.. I’m one of the newly obsessed Tops fans after watching squid game.. since he first shows up on screen I’m like “this character seems he could be an idol…and this dude is really really good at playing an idol..very natural” and then did my little research and here I am now in your inbox.. so.. I’m same age as top so I’d say I might have considered my self too old for boy bands back in the 2010s (but I am not NOW at 37 lol) and I’ve entirely missed his golden and dark days and I genuinely want to understand what the hell is going on with him.. I’m so intrigued by what I saw TOP was when performing, how shy and posed he was off stage for example in interviews, how quirky and random (and I agree he might be high functioning neurospicy) and so talented and classy and all over the place with his interests passions and work projects.. like.. I guess I wanna know him or his story a bit more, from people who were there this whole time.. I mean.. has he really tried to unalive himself? That pic of him in a wheelchair seemed staged to me no? Like why would there be pictures of someone after something like that.. if not for spectacle or pity? I mean I don’t know what to think or what to believe.. but I’d love to know your perspective (while I keep reading your blog in search of more answers).

Also in my humble opinion his role in sg was the perfect contrast to the heavy sense of doom the rest of the players were giving off.. it made the whole thing even darker cuz he was intentionally out of place mentally basically..I reckon it was a genius move, from a cinematic standpoint.

Im not Korean so I can’t possibly understand their culture, unfortunately, nor their unforgiveness and strict morality around drugs and whole the hate towards him, but I believe the hype now and the new international fans will boost his confidence.. I’m convinced it must take a lot of courage to do what he did, despite his reasons (broke or not, fame thirst or whatever) which we’ll never know obvs.. he should show up for promotion tho.. put up a poker face and expose himself if he wants to heal the wounds..

I have felt a lot of compassion towards him and I’d love to get to know his past a bit more.. if you’d like to share some of your stories or even just recommendations of reliable sources where I can get an idea of who is was/is.

Thank you so much and sorry for my venting 😅

I think I'll have to go back and compile a list of links and sources for it all, but he did try to unalive himself when he was younger when he was briefly (and secretly) dating Kim Woo Bins current girlfriend (finance? Wife??) Shin Min Ah. They had a bad break up and everything wasn't working out well. He has some mental health struggles but he recovered a lot from that point. It was way before I'd say their big album Alive. Alive in 2012 was a turning point for their career.

Didn't he have like an anxiety attack or panic attack? Pills? Damnit. I gotta go comb through netizenbuzz blog (type netizenbuzz into google then enter T.O.P or bigbang into the search. Enter his name any way you can to see the list of stories). He did say that the industry teeats idols like Machines. He doesn't like the idol industry and made it clear how toxic the working conditions can be in that interview for the magazine where he has white hair and angel wings behind him.

He is multiple dimensional so while I do feel he was acting out an exaggerated caricature of his worse time in the industry some years ago, he really is one of the most intelligent and sophisticated men in the idol world for real, his art history and painting knowledge is incredibly expansive. I'll tell you now, my interest in him helped me land a great job once cause I learned so much about art through paying attention to him lol. I really wish he would go back to that.

I do miss the old top. But nearly everyone changes eventually while some people stay the same. I wish he was kinda like GD and consistency with his personality and interests.

What do you think of his wine so far? Like his investment in that? I think he should've pushed it harder, as hard as the space x project and create a non alcohol version of it so all fans of legal age can drink it.

Theres so much to unpack and revisit. But yes to all of this.