#or you can get a grumpy time traveler and turn your friends into kids

[sheylara-san]

[kat-thepoet]

Veins of Violet

Logan Howlett X Female Reader

Part 1: A grumpy Canadian enters

A/N: Hello guys! This is a Logan x Female reader story. So please enjoy!

Description: Violet, on the run from a dark past, finds herself stuck with Logan as her roommate, with her unpredictable best friend Wade by her side. As she navigates the chaos of her new life, she must choose between a love that could save her and a darkness that could consume her.

3.6k words

"Have you thought about what I told you?" I asked Vanessa as I sat across from her at our local coffee shop. 

"Yes, and I think I'm ready to talk to him about us." she says with a soft smile. 

A few weeks ago, before Wade unexpectedly left on his birthday party, I told Vannesa that she should get back together with him. They are such a cute couple, and Vanessa deserves to be with the person she loves, even though he's a total dickwad. I have known Wade for about six years when I auditioned for his superhero team. Or whatever you can call a group of morons who all collectively came together to save a chubby kid from being killed by a time travel freak with a medal arm. Regardless of mine and Wade's differences, like who is better, Edward or Jacob, or if pineapple belongs on pizza (it doesn't), he is still considered one of my best friends, along with Vanessa, whom I love dearly like a sister.

As I come back from my daydreaming, Vanessa gives me a slight grin and proceeds to ask her annoying question.

"So... now that Wade and I are possibly getting back together, why have you been avoiding the dating pool? I mean, I love you, but I don't want to see you die alone or possibly be forced to marry someone just to settle down. I want you to find someone who you can pour your heart into, like I do with Wade."

I look at her with annoyance and roll my eyes at her dramatic statement. After my last cheating boyfriend Adam who fucked my roommate by the way in my apartment, I've never found someone who truly moved me and made me feel special. I have gone on dates alone and even double dates with Nessa and Wade, but I have never felt something inside of me that truly made me desire them. When Vanessa talks about her and Wade's love lives and even their sex lives, she makes it sound like it's filled with passion and thrill, and I haven't experienced that with anyone yet. And I'm not even sure I ever will. 

"We've talked about this, Vanessa. I haven't found anyone interesting, and I'm not going to force it by going to some lame bar and picking up the first person who shows interest." She laughs at my statement but doesn't say anything in response.

As we walked back to our building, we saw Wade with a dog who looked strangly like him, and along with him was a man with a very nice build and he was really handsome. As Wade spotted Vanessa walking down the street with me, he quickly let his dog sit on the ground and sprinted over to her, arms wide open.

"Vanessa! My love, my light, my everything! You look stunning as ever. It's like seeing the sun come up after a night of binge-watching questionable rom-coms. How about we skip all this mundane reality stuff and dive straight into a romantic montage? I've missed you more than tacos on a Tuesday!"

She pushes her off him. "Where the hell have you been? You left the party without even saying anything, and you expect me to be happy to see you?!" She says it angerfully.

I laugh, and he turns to me. "Well, well, if it isn't my favorite partner in crime," he said, giving me a playful nudge. "Looking fabulous as always. I swear, every time I see you, it's like someone cranked up the glam dial to eleven." He says with a sly smile.

I roll my eyes and, angrly, ask him the same question. "No, Wade, where the hell have you been? I called 20 times, and not one single call was returned!" I quickly glanced at his friend, and he was already staring at me. I quickly looked back at Wade, waiting for a response.

Wade raised his hands in mock surrender, a sheepish grin on his face.

"Whoa, whoa, easy there, tiger! I knew I should've upgraded my phone plan to include 'dealing with angry best friends' insurance. But in my defense, I was, uh... busy saving the world? Or maybe I got distracted by a marathon of cat videos. They're surprisingly addictive, you know!"

He glanced at his friend, who was still watching the exchange with interest, and then turned back to me with a wink.

"But seriously, I'm sorry for ghosting you two. I'll explain everything later, but for now, I need to kiss my girl."

He looked at Vanessa, and she stopped him, putting her hand on his mouth. "I'm not your girl; we still have a lot to talk about, Wade."

Wade paused, eyes wide with mock horror. He slowly removed her hand, raising an eyebrow with a playful smirk.

"Oh, come on, Vanessa! You know, I can't resist kissing my favorite girl, even if I have to work a little harder for it. But I get it, I get it—relationship talk first, smooches later. Consider me on my best behavior. We can talk about anything and everything you want—whether it's why I've been MIA or what I'm planning for our next adventure."

As he looks at his friend, he slaps his own forehead.

"I almost forgot, ladies, feast your eyes on the one, the only, the eternally grumpy Canadian himself—Wolverine! Or, as I like to call him, Logan, he is the sharpest guy I know. And no, that's not just a reference to his claws." He nudged Wolverine with his elbow, grinning.

"This is the guy who puts the 'X' in 'X-Men' and the 'grr' in 'gruff.' When he's not busy saving the world or scowling, he's perfecting his signature brooding look and cutting sarcasm. You might say he's the best there is at what he does, and what he does is... make me look even more sexy by comparison." Wade turned to Vanessa and I with a wink.

"Don't worry; he's not as intimidating as he seems. Just give him a beer, and he'll be your best friend—or at least tolerate you with only minimal growling. Logan, meet Vanessa, my stunning muse, and Violet, my partner in crime. Try not to scare them off with your rugged charm, alright?" Logan just rolls his eyes at his stupid introduction.

Vanessa extends her arm to shake his hand, and he hesitates for a moment but shakes it with a firm grip. "Nice to meet you, Logan." She says with a smile. Logan responds with a sarcastic tone, "Yeah, you too."

I extend my hand to do the same, and he takes it, but my hand lingers in his for a moment before he quickly pulls away. It's nice to meet you, Logan. Knowing the mouth that Wade has on him, you must have dealt with a few suicidal thoughts." I ask, trying to lighten the mood.

He smirks at my question and says , "Yeah, you could say that."

Wade clapped his hands together with an exaggerated gasp, clearly delighted by the interaction.

"Oh, I see what's happening here! Bonding over my endless ability to drive people nuts! Classic move, Vi." he said with a playful grin.

He waggled his eyebrows at Wolverine. "See, Logan? I told you my best friend's got a wicked sense of humor. We could start a support group for people who've survived my witty repartee. 'Deadpool's Survivors Club.' Meetings every Tuesday—blizzard dust and therapy provided."

Vanessa and I laughed at his comment, and we all headed back to his place.

Before I went to wades place I departed from the group and went into my apartment that was two doors over from his. I decided to get comfortable and take my working clothes off that had dirt on them from washing flowers. 

I work at a flower shop that's about two blocks from here. I started working there about two years ago. The pay is great; I can pay my bills and treat myself once in a while. but I also live comfortingly because of my grandparents trust fund. My grandparents took care of me until I was 19 years old. They were doctors and were very successful. My parents died in a car crash when I was five. I don't really remember anything from that time. I guess my brain blocked all that trauma out. But regardless, I still ended up being experimented on by these mad scientists with some glowy gems. That's what granted me my abilities. And they used me to kill people. I try to forget at times, but now, ten years later, I'm here, surrounded by family who I adore.

I decided to change into a red tank top and grey sweatpants with my black and white Converse. By the look of the clouds, it looks like it's going to start to rain. I brush my hair and add a little makeup to clean myself up a bit. I finish up with a vanilla mist that Vanessa got me for my birthday, and I head out the door. 

I knock on Wade's door, and through the door I hear muffling sounds and loud music. Nobody answers, so I open the door myself. The room is filled with some X-force members, along with Tin Man. Ellie and their adorable girl friend are singing kareoke. On the other side of the room in the kitchen, I see blind Al sniffing a line, Vanessa and Wade making out, and other junkies eating and drinking food. How did this escalate so quickly? I was only gone for 30 minutes. As I scanned the room to find a spot to sit, I saw Logan on the couch with a beer in his hand, watching Beyonce and Ariana horribly sing. There's a seat next to his, so I decided to sit next to him. 

"Are you enjoying the party?" I asked with a smile.

Logan glanced at you, his expression flat.

"It's something, all right," he grumbled, taking another sip of his beer. "At least the beer's cold."

He shook his head slightly, watching the chaos unfold with a weary look.

"I've seen worse," he added with a shrug. 

Logan leaned back, looking at you with a raised eyebrow. "You here to rescue me, or just enjoying the show?"

I pressed my lips together. He's not one to have a conversation with because he's so moody, and I'm determined to find out why, but I'll just play along with his nonchalant attitude for now. 

"Just enjoying the show," I replied with a smirk. Logan's eyes narrowed slightly, but he didn't press further, turning his attention back to the chaos around us. 

"Are you going to drink something?" he asked in a low voice.

"There's nothing here that doesn't destroy your liver." I said it with a tight smile.

"You don't drink?" he asked curiously.

"No." I said firmly, trying to keep the conversation light. "I prefer to keep a clear head in situations like this." Logan nodded, seemingly satisfied with my response, and we continued to watch the chaos unfold around us in silence. 

"So, how did you meet Wade?" I asked curiously. 

Logan took a moment, swirling his beer thoughtfully before answering.

"Well, it wasn't exactly a fairy tale," he replied with a wry smile. "Wade showed up out of nowhere, talking about timelines and some TVA nonsense. I thought he was just some weird fuck who wanted to mess with me."

He sighed, shaking his head at the memory.

"But then there was this whole thing with Cassandra threatening the timeline. I guess we ended up being unlikely allies. Not my first choice, but he's persistent."

Logan glanced at you, a hint of amusement in his eyes.

"Wade's like a bad rash; he just keeps coming back until you deal with him. At least this time, we managed to save the day and avoid a multiverse meltdown."

He shrugged, taking another sip of his beer. "You could say it was... educational."

I looked at him confused because, honestly, I did not understand any word that he said. He saw my expression puzzled but didn't focus too much on it. 

"How did you meet a fucker like Wade?" he asked.

"It's a long story, but I've known him for about 6 years, and I met him when I auditioned for the X Force." 

"Wait, you auditioned for the X Force? Why? " He looked at me strangely. 

"Well, I have abilities of my own, and I wanted to use them for good." I said with a dry smile. 

Logan nodded, processing your answer with a gruff expression.

"Abilities, huh?" he said, raising an eyebrow. "Wade's got a knack for attracting people like us. But an audition? That sounds like something only Wade would come up with."

Logan leaned back, giving you a more appraising look. "So, what can you do? And how've you survived six years with Wade without losing your mind?"

We talked about Wade and how fucked up in the head he was. Until I saw the time. It read 11:50. 

"Oh, shoot, I have to get going. I have work in the morning." I said as I quickly stood up. 

I quickly turned around and waved everyone good bye. As I headed for the door, Wade trotted after me with a mischievous grin on his face.

"Hey, wait up!" he called, catching up to me just as I stepped outside. "Before you disappear into the responsible adult dimension, I've got a burning question."

He leaned in conspiratorially, lowering his voice with mock seriousness. "So, does your annoying roommate still haunt your apartment, or have you finally exorcised that particular demon? I mean, I can't be the only one who thinks she's a walking buzzkill, right?"

I laughed at his remark about my ex roommate. I crossed my arms at his question. 

"Why?" I said with a stern face. 

Wade put on his best innocent face, which was hard to take seriously with the mischievous twinkle in his eyes.

"Oh, no reason," he said, feigning nonchalance as he rocked back on his heels. "It's just that I have this furry, brooding friend who might be in the market for a new place to crash."

He leaned in closer, lowering his voice as if sharing a secret. "You see, Logan here has this whole 'lone wolf' vibe going on, but I think deep down, he's just a cuddly, oversized teddy bear in need of a cozy new den."

Wade wiggled his eyebrows suggestively. "Plus, think about it: free security, and you'll never have to worry about running out of beer. And if you two ever get into an argument, he's got that healing factor, so no worries about broken bones or anything."

He flashed a grin, clearly enjoying himself. "So, what do you say? Got room for one more grumpy Canadian in your life?"

I looked at him, trying to see if this would be a good idea. He gave me puppy eyes, and I responded by rolling my eyes back. "Is he messy?" I asked, annoyed. 

"I don't think so; let me ask." He quickly turned around and started skipping to his door. Before I could say anything, he brought out Logan. In the dim light of the hallway, I could see through his white beater tank top, which revealed his muscular physique. It made my mouth salivate. Why am I thinking this way? 

I look at Wade, and he looks at Logan. " Are you messy?" 

Logan crossed his arms, giving Wade a skeptical look before turning his attention to you.

"Messy?" he grunted, his voice gravelly. "Not really. I keep to myself and clean up after I eat.

Logan glanced at Wade, then back at you, with a hint of a smirk. "But if you're expecting a neat freak, you might want to look elsewhere. I'm not exactly Martha Stewart."

He paused for a moment, reading your expression, and added, "And don't worry, I don't bite. Much."

I rolled my eyes at his comment. He's clearly drunk, but I trust he's just trying to make a joke. Plus, his honesty about his habits is refreshing in a roommate. 

"Fine." I said with a thin smile.

Wade's eyes lit up with excitement as soon as I said "fine."

"Score one for Team Wolverine!" he exclaimed, throwing his hands up in the air like he'd just won a championship. "You won't regret it! Well, maybe a little, but hey, what's life without some excitement, right?"

He clapped Logan on the back with a playful grin. "Welcome to your new home, bub! Remember, no claw marks on the good furniture, and try to keep the late-night growling to a minimum unless you want Violet to reconsider."

Wade turned back to you, his eyes twinkling with mischief. "You've got yourself a real-life superhero as a roommate! Not everyone can say that. Just don't let him hog the remote on movie night—or the weed stash."

He gave you a thumbs up, clearly pleased with the outcome. "So, when's the housewarming party? I'll bring the chimichangas and some earplugs for those late-night howls, or we can do a threesome, whichever you prefer."

I rolled my eyes in annoyance. 

I drew my attention to Logan before I spoke. "Go get your stuff so you can settle in." I said this as I turned to unlock my door. Wade kissed me on the cheek and walked with Logan back to his apartment. 

I turned on the light from the spare room and thanked God that I cleaned it the second that whore Sara moved out because it was a mess. Luckily, the bed had fresh sheets, and it smelled clean. I heard a firm knock on the door. 

That must be Logan. 

I opened the door and saw Adam drunk and crying. 

"Adam, what the hell are you doing here?" Adam, my cheating ex-boyfriend that I mentioned before, was here begging me to take him back and to forgive him for fucking my roommate on my new couch. 

I crotched down to his level and said, "I'm never going to fucking forgive you for what you did to me. We were fucking engaged, but you chose to fuck another girl. Not a random girl, my fucking roommate, who I considered my closest friend. You know how I feel about lies and betrayals." I said with tears forming in my eyes. I know that he used and hurt me, but I can't help but feel heartbroken, even though this happened two months ago. He started to come closer until I tripped back on my ass. I landed on the floor, and he was on top of me. "Get off of me!" I said angrly. As I squirmed under him, I felt my eyes glow, and my powers wanted to come out and play, but I held the urge as I was fighting him off. All of a sudden, I hear loud footsteps coming towards us. Logan comes out of nowhere and grabs him by the collar. He yanks him onto the floor. My eyes are still closed as I try to control my outburst. I hear Logan yell at him, to never set foot here again, and Adam runs off. 

As I control my breathing, Logan comes next to me and leans in. "It's ok, he's gone." He said in a low voice. I feel better for some reason now that he's by my side. I thank him still, with my eyes closed. I stand up and open my eyes to see him staring into mine. I blink the tears away and grab a glass of water. 

"Who was that punk?" he asks, his voice laced with concern. I take a deep breath before responding, "My ex-boyfriend." I said calmly. 

He doesn't say anything. I stand still until I finish my cup of water. 

"Ok, sorry about that. Let's start with the tour. I have to get up early tomorrow. " I said with a soft smile. He nodded and proceeded with the living room.

As I gave the tour, he stared very intently at everything. How the laundry machines worked and where stuff was located in the kitchen. And I offered him a glass of water. After I gave a tour of everything but the bedrooms, he jugged the glass of water, and I stared intensely. The way his Adam's apple would bob from the gulp and the water droplets rolling down on his throat onto his hairy chest. He's so handsome and muscular. The way his dark blue jeans hug his thighs and how tight his pants are around the crotch area makes me feel parched. I quickly composed myself before he noticed I was staring too hard. Oh, he noticed

I opened my bedroom to let him take a peek. "Here's my bedroom, so if you need anything, just knock on the door. Next to mine is yours." I opened the bedroom door, and it was simple not girly or masculine, just normal. He shook his head in greatfulness. "Thank you for letting me stay here. It means a lot." I smiled at him as a response. 

"I left you some things on your bed that you might need, but if you don't have any questions, then this is it." I smiled once more and walked into my room. 

He walked into his, and we both closed our doors. I quickly put on my pijamas, which were a pair of short shorts and a small tank top. I went to the bathroom to brush my teeth. As I walked back to my room, I heard a knock on my door. It was him asking if he could borrow a toothbrush. I thought I gave him one, but I must have forgotten. I walked over to the restroom, and he followed. I could feel his eyes on me, but I didn't pay too much attention. I leaned down to grab a new toothbrush from under the sink, forgetting that my ass was full on display for him to see. I gave him the brush and said good night. 

"Goodnight," he said back in a nicer tone. 

Next part: Part 2: Of claws and heart

[lokischocolatefountain]

Guess

Fandom: Star Wars, The Mandalorian

Pairing: Din Djarin x Reader

Rating: PG13, fluff

Word count:

Summary: A game of guessing goes right in every way for you and Din, your kind of friend, sort of boss.

A/N: Day 1 of my fic advent calendar and my first Din Djarin fic on here! Credits to my friend @lokislittlevalkyrie for co-creating the reader character and for our long conversations about her and Din. Keep checking the advent calendar Masterlist for more fics dropping this month. And leave me a little comment to encourage me to keep the fics going 💜💜💜

“Stop scowling.”

“I’m not scowling,” he lied, trying his best to keep his tone neutral even though he was surprised that she knew he was scowling. Lucky guess, he told himself. But how many lucky guesses could one person have about his facial expressions?

“You so were!” She insisted, sinking further back into the novelty ‘chair’ she bought on their last stop. It was a sphere half filled with tiny soft particles that molded itself to the user’s shape. She slouched on it as she continued watching one of her holodramas, something with a murder or speeders (or both) at the heart of the story.

“I was not.”

“If you say so, Din Can,” she said, using her nickname for him. He chuckled reflexively, unable to control his responses to her. Thankfully, his helmet filtered the sound out, saving him the embarrassment of finding humor in the humiliating nickname. He smiled, glad she didn’t know just how many times she’d made him laugh whether by mocking him or making clever remarks in general.

“I do say so.”

She was beautiful. Taking up the creed meant hiding one’s own face from others. To hide what would serve as the basis of others’ first impression of you so that your valor and your character would serve as your defining features. Vanity was not something he was raised with. Yet he knew beauty when it stared him in the eye and called him Din Can everyday. Or Tin Djarin. Buckethead when he really pissed her off.

Dinny Bear when she was intoxicated.

Blood rushed to his cheek when he thought of the last time she did that. She’d gotten very comfortable around him in the months they’d been crew mates. All her initial jitters and jumpiness around him had gone and been replaced with her stubbornness, strange sense of humour, and a level of confidence she didn’t have with him before.

He had to chase her down to even get her to accept the job he was offering her as a travelling mechanic. He’d never heard of one before. And she was quite frightened of him after the kind of interaction they had at Peli’s shop. But he needed a mechanic on board. With the kid in his hands now, it became hard to juggle a failing ship with hunting bounties and caring for a mischievous kid who waited for the moment he took his eyes off him to cause chaos.

It helped to have a mechanic on board at all times. She was wonderful and came approved by Peli. Over time, she became more than his mechanic. A friend, he would be brave enough to say. If he were braver with women, he would say that he’s caught her sneaking glances at him. That he felt her twinkling eyes rove over his armor every now and then. Sometimes he was confident of it. At others, he convinced himself that his mind was clouded by his desire for her. By his desire for her to desire him too.

The matter of his expressions came up once again later after dinner.

“Stop looking so grumpy.”

“You cannot see my face.”

“Yeah but you look grumpy.”

He grunted, turning away from her to focus on the controls. They were on hyperspeed. There was nothing he needed to do with the controls. But to come face to face with her when she told him exactly what he did underneath his helmet was…too much.

“Heyy! Let’s play a game?” She asked, her voice bubbling with excitement.

“Play with Grogu.”

“He’s asleep. And this is not a game for little potatoes.”

He chuckled softly at the nickname and looked up at her again, awaiting her proposal. “What would that be?” He asked.

“A drinking game.”

“Drinking is a game now?”

“Dank farrik! I missed when you used to be quiet. Just listen to me. I’ll guess what your face looks like under your helmet and if I get it right, you should take a sip of your drink. And if I get it wrong, I take a sip. Let’s do it with the Silver Elixir,” she said, getting up from her seat to fetch the bottle from their liquor cabinet they kept locked to keep away from wandering little womp rats.

She returned with the bottle, two glasses and straws. They’d recently taken to drinking together. She bought him a straw a begged him to join her, using her sweet eyes and her adorable pout to convince him. She said she only had drinks with friends and that drinking alone on the razor crest made her feel lonely.

He gave in to her, just like he gave in to their little green crewmate.

She didn’t need to use a straw, of course. Yet she did. When he asked, she said it was so that he didn’t feel lonely drinking through a straw like a kid. Even in her insults, she managed to be sweet.

“Start guessing,” he said impatiently as she sat next to him and looked intently at their glasses to see if they were filled equally.

“Sure, sure… You have dark hair,” she said, passing his drink to him. “Dark brown.”

“A little too obvious, isn’t it?” He asked, knowing she had definitely seen his hair in the trash after he gave himself haircuts and shaved his facial hair.

“Drink up, old man!” She said, lips wide in a grin as she knew already that she was right.

He snorted, but followed through, taking a sip of the strong liquor. “Alright. Next.”

“You have….big green ears.”

“Wrong,” he huffed, smiling nevertheless at her sense of humour.

“Damn it! I should’ve known they wouldn’t fit inside the helmet,” she said, taking a sip. She was smiling too, and unlike his, it was out in the open and as bright as the stars around them.

“Those were two descriptors. Big and green. Take one more sip,” he argued. He didn’t particularly want to get her drunk, but he liked how adorable she was when intoxicated. One of their drinking sessions ended with her snuggling up to him because she couldn’t find the kid to snuggle like a children’s stuffed animal.

“What? No! It was one guess, so it’s one sip.”

“Again, you guessed the size and color of my ears and they were both wrong. Take a sip.”

She rolled her eyes, but complained, taking another sip. She leaned close and narrowed her eyes at him, as though focusing on his helmet would reveal what was underneath. He smiled unconsciously, taking in the beauty of her from up close. The light in her eyes, the way her eyebrows knit together when she was in deep thought, lips that impressed him with the wittiest remarks��� Lips he wanted desperately to pull to his, to devour and make moan his name.

“No moustache.”

“Hmmm….” He hummed, thinking of how he could sort the point for this. He *did* have a moustache, but that was only now. There were times when he shaved it off completely. “It’s complicated. I have a moustache now, but I change it quite frequently. So, half a sip.”

“If I have to take half a sip, so should you.”

“No, I don’t,” he scoffed at her warped logic. Here he was, being nice and giving her some credit even though she was wrong. But she was trying to take advantage of it.

“Yeah you should. If I’m taking half a sip because I was half right and half wrong, you should also take a sip because you’re half right and half wrong.”

“No. That’s not how it works. I have facial hair now, which means you are wrong. I should’ve made you take a full sip, but I decided to make a concession because I am sometimes fully shaven.”

“Dank Farrik! You’re such a lightweight. Just say you can’t handle your liquor and I’ll let you go,” she taunted, a smirk plying at her lips.

“Oh please, I can handle my liquor much better than you can. Here,” he said, drinking the strong undiluted alcohol like it was water in a few big sips. He slammed the glass against the control panel surface and shrugged. “See, I’m good. You are the one who gets drunk after one portion of the Silver Elixir and terrorizes the kid.”

She gasped, as though he made a much bigger accusation. “I don’t terrorize the kid! I just give him extra cuddles and kisses. He enjoys them very much. It’s called affection, Tin Can. Ever heard of it?”

He tilted his head at her in the way that sometimes made her swallow audibly. “So you think that because of my way of life, I have never experienced affection?”

She opened and closed her mouth quickly, as though her mind and lips were in disagreement about whether or not what they were about to say was appropriate. He smiled under his helmet, proud of himself for stumping her. She talked a lot. Since he was a quiet man, everyone else was talkative in comparison. But she was the voice he heard the most as they lived together on the Razor Crest and their other occupant communicated mostly in coos and squeals.

“That’s not what I meant!”

“Say what. Since the drinking thing was already disproportionate anyway because I’m not guessing your features and I can handle my liquor much better than you do….lets change the rules.” He took a deep breath, afraid of the consequences of his words but unable to miss this opportunity. “For each correct guess you make, I’ll give you a kiss.”

“You’re kidding,” she said, scoffing.

“I’m not known for my humor.”

She took a deep breath and looked directly into his eyes, making his heart skip a beat. Kriff, the things she did without even knowing! He thought he could die from the anticipation of hearing her next guess. Would she guess something ridiculous like big green ears to make sure she doesn’t have to kiss him? Or would she make a very obviously correct guess?

“You have…” she trailed in a softer voice, looking at him almost coyly. “…pink lips.”

Not the most obvious guess. Not all humans had pink lips. And he could easily not be human. He didn’t remember telling her he was… But if she was going for something for a higher likelihood of being correct… Kriff he hoped she was. “Do you want me to turn the lights off or blindfold you?” He asked, conveying indirectly that she was right.

“Wh-whaaat? Why?” She sputtered, looking at him with those pretty eyes, vulnerability brimming in her expressions.

Did he get the wrong idea? Maybe her obvious guesses weren’t because she wanted to be right so she could kiss him… Maybe it was just the product of her usual playful nature.

“Because I will have to take my helmet off when I kiss you,” he proceeded to say, even as his heart beat faster with the anxiety of how this could go. They were adults. It it was a misunderstanding, he would simply get over it and do his best to not make it awkward between them. “And you cannot see me.”

“I…” she trailed off before letting out a nervous laugh. “I didn’t think you were serious.”

“Again. Not known for my humor,” he said, letting a smile seep into his words. She was so kriffing adorable, looking all nervous like a blurrg stuck in a doorway. “You don’t have to, of course. I can give you something else. Ten credits, perhaps?”

“What, no. A deal is a deal.”

“Then tell me, my dear mechanic. Lights out or blindfold?”

“Lights out.”

Pity. He was hoping to see her pretty face when he kissed her. Not moving from where he was, he pressed the buttons on the control panel, turning all the lights out. In the pitch black of outer space, he could see nothing. Perfect.

“What can you see?” He asked, just to be sure.

“Nothing,” she said, in her voice so low and soft that it was swallowed up by the darkness. What entity wouldn’t want to swallow up something his pretty mechanic put out? Every word she said, every touch of her fingers against the trees and rocks and flowers. If he were air, he would luxuriate in her scent. If he were water, he would caress her skin and play with her hair as he cleansed her. If he were fire, he would creep into her skin, warm her up when she needed. But he was nothing but man. So, he would have to satisfy himself with a kiss from her lips.

“Are you sure?” She asked as he stepped forward to her.

“I am. Are *you* sure?”

There was silent for a moment before she said, “Yes. Kiss me.”

Needing nothing else, he took his helmet off and placed it carefully on his seat. His heart thudded against his ribs, and his breaths grew labored. And he hadn’t even touched her yet.

In all his years, he had never kissed anyone. It was not part of the culture of his people what with the metal barriers that kept them from it. He remembered the sweet kisses on his forehead and cheeks from before he took the creed. But that was not what his heart desired. He wanted the kind of thing she watched on her holopad, all the holodramas with characters who showed their desire through an intense kiss that left their partner speechless.

He reached forward and found her hand. She gasped softly, the quietness of the ship letting him in on her soft sounds. He caressed up her arm, enjoying the slight tremble of her skin beneath the tips of his fingers. He stopped at her neck and allowed himself to cradle it in his hand. He felt her lean closer and he reciprocated, taking the final step. He tilted his head to his right feeling that she tilted to her right.

As he closed the gap between them, he felt her warm breath on his skin. He swallowed, his lips parting from how nervous he was. What if he was no good? What if he didn’t have good breath? What if he’s such a bad kisser that she— he gasped softly as she pressed her lips against his. In an instant, she quietened the sounds his head. The fast beating of his heart, he realized was now from the effect of proximity to her more than his insecurities.

She placed one hand on his shoulder and wrapped her other arm around his waist. He let out a shaky breath at the intimacy of their contact and let his other hand trail down her back. She pressed herself closer against his beskar clad chest, making him wish he had the forethought to toss that bit of his armor too. He wanted to feel her. Every bit of her that she was offering up to him like she truly believed he was deserving.

Her lips were soft, just as he’d dreamt them to be. He’d never kissed before. It was an act saved for married couples in the covert, as only your spouse could see you with your helmet off. He had married friends who waxed poetry about the magic of kissing. How they felt like nothing and nobody mattered other than your partner. How it turned you into putty in their hands. He thought it was exaggerated… Until now.

He cupped her cheek, her face fitting in his hand and making him feel a new sense of protectiveness towards her. He’d protected her before, sure, but this felt different. This was something to do with a need to be gentle with her. To cherish her and treasure her. She licked his lips and he parted them instinctively, letting her tongue between his lips. He shuddered as her fingers threaded through his hair. He whimpered and pulled her closer to himself in the moment of vulnerability, using her as a crutch to support him. He’d never been touched like that before…

Her fingers explored his hair and he allowed himself to relax in his arms, even letting himself give her comforting caresses of her back. He felt her melt into his arms as their kiss deepened. She tasted of the silver elixir first, but when they were both a little along the way, he began to taste something that was distinctly her. Something sweet, mixing with the fragrance of her citrusy perfume to further dull his senses.

It was soft, but electrifying. He poured his passions into the kiss, exploring her with his tongue and luxuriating in the sweet little whimpers she let out. The technicalities stopped mattering. He was here, holding the girl he’d been pining for, lips connected as the unlikely result of a stupid game. That moment was all that mattered and her sounds of satisfaction told him that he wasn’t doing so bad after all.

She pulled back in a while and they let out the breaths they’d be holding. She let out a laugh and he smiled, comforted by her job. He didn’t even know he’d been holding his breath. He’d forgetting the necessity for breathing as he found her lips.

“You have…a big nose,” she said, confusing him.

“Huh?” He asked, his mind still clouded from her kiss.

“I get another kiss if I’m right, Dim Djarin,” she teased, pointing to his obliviousness when it came to things of this nature.

“Right,” he said, grinning as he kissed her again. He needed to play games with her more often.

[oldfangirl81]

Fic Idea Teen Wolf

Traveling Nurse AU

The Hale fire happened but with only one death (an elderly relative). Kate's crimes starting with Derek get revealed. She goes to prison. The Argent matriarch expelled her from the Argent line, using magic that would prevent any future kids of Kate's to be considered Agents ever. Gerrard is still angry.

Still Derek was guilt ridden and withdrew from everything. Immediately graduating high school (he refused to walk) he left moving to Alaska. He attended college and got a degree in graphic and web design.

Now closing in on thirty Derek hasn't been back to California in over ten years. He makes a living doing designs from his home. That pays the bills to allow him to write. He writes science fiction detective stories under a penname.

In this universe Claudia Stilinski was a nurse before she got sick. Stiles befriended the nurses taking care of his mom since he spent the most time there with his mom, since his Dad was always working. A butterfly flapped it's wings and Stiles doesn't dream of going into law enforcement but becoming a nurse.

Since kindergarten he has always had a first aid kit in his backpack. It adds an inhaler after becoming friends with Scott. He gets into a few fights because a boy should want to be a doctor not a nurse. Until one day Cora Hale steps in and stops the bully. She ends up making them an odd trio.

Gerrard, Alphas and Jennifer Blake still tries pulling things when they are in high school. Secrets are revealed. Scott still gets bit. With an intact Hale pack most of them make it to graduation alive.

After the last several years of chaos college felt like a dream for the most part. After Stiles gets his RN license he decides he wants to travel and not settle down in Beacon Hills yet. And for the next several years he works all over the US and just going back home for his Dad's birthday.

When Cora finds out Stiles is going to be in the same town as Derek she asks him to keep an out for her disaster bi buddy. (She might be trying to matchmake a little by dropping that information)

Derek finds Stiles Stilinski annoying and obnoxious but he also keeps hanging out with him. Stiles finds Derek grumpy and hot. Derek can turn into a full wolf, something that any wolf can do with a lot of mediation.

Stiles tried petting him the first time he saw the wolf form. Derek growled in annoyance.

Group chat with Stiles, Cora and Scott-

Stiles: look it's Derek

Scott: but he is a wolf

Stiles: Use your imagination, dude!

Cora: 😂 I still can't believe you tried to pet him.

[wardenparker]

Surprising Reunions, part 1

Joel Miller x Dieter Bravo x female reader Co-written with @absurdthirst

Rating: E for Explicit! 18+ Word Count: 19.1k Warnings: So so so much cursing, homophobia, hate speech (against gay characters), mentions of domestic abuse (parent/child) and alcoholism, references to drug use, extremely overt flirting, underage sexual activity (MM),  oral sex (m receiving), angst, extremely brief mention of suicidal ideation,  Summary: Joel and Ellie stumble across an occupied hotel in their journey west, and Joel is astonished to find that the inhabitants are his ex-boyfriend Dieter Bravo and his wife. Notes: About a month ago a lovely anon dropped into my askbox with the surprise idea of a Joel x Dieter pairing and Keri and I just about lost our minds over it. What was born in our minds as a smutty little one shot has become a two-part field day of feelings and tension. And I gotta say? I love these two guys together.

The world as it was twenty years ago is broken. Irrevocably so. However, in many ways, it’s a lot smaller than it was back then. When people scattered and the only way you found out about them was if someone else had known them. Travel was dangerous, friendships now vital for survival and yet, Joel found himself both traveling and forming a bond with a mouthy, moody teenager that liked stupid jokes that he would secretly grin over and shake his head at how much she reminded him of him. And Sarah, but mostly him for the simple fact that she had the same resilient fortitude that he had admired when he was friends with the one openly bisexual kid in Austin, Texas in the early nineties.

"Hey Joel." Ellie sidles up next to the older man as they walk, her steps invigorated with the physical need to tell the joke she's just dug out of the depths of the book she keeps squirreled away in her backpack. She's been saving it for a good time and Joel looks particularly grumpy today. Although that's really just the way his face is. "Joel." She hops in front of him and starts walking backwards with a grin splitting her face open. "Why can't you hear a pterodactyl going to the bathroom?"

Joel rolls his eyes and lets out a long-suffering sigh. Even though he knows the answer to the joke, he gives her a look of confusion that would rival the best Bowie High School drama club, of which he had been very familiar with. “Why?” He huffs at her.

The way she snickers and giggles so much that she can barely get out the punchline is half the joy of the whole moment, until Ellie finally bursts out with: "Because the pee is silent!" And doubles over cackling with glee as they continue down the road.

“Jesus Christ.” Joel readjusts his pack on his back and turns his head to hide his own grin. “Your jokes are horrible.” He grumbles at her when he finally looks back at the laughing teenager.

"Then why are you laughing?" She shoots back, long since having learned what it means when Joel hides his face from her after she delivers a particularly groan-worthy punchline. "Ya old softie. Laughing at bad jokes."

“You’re an idiot.” Joel rolls his eyes again for good measure and is once again reminded of when he was accused of being a softie by someone else. Why he was on Joel’s mind, he couldn’t say. Maybe he was getting sentimental in his old age.

"You like it." There isn't an ounce of doubt in her voice, like she knows damn well that he would have gotten rid of her long ago if Joel didn't have some kind of attachment to her. It's probably true. Promise or otherwise, there are plenty of times he could have left her behind, but he hadn't. They walk a little longer before Ellie opens her mouth again, this time with a frown on her face. "It's gonna start getting dark soon," she observes, looking up into the sky. Normally this is the point at which Joel starts looking for someplace to make camp. "There was a sign for a hotel back there. Like a half mile ago, I think?"

“Yeah.” Joel frowns and nods up ahead. “Should be about half a mile up the road.” The crumbling, overgrown road isn’t a major highway, but it had been void of people and infected so he counted that as a blessing. “Looks to be a fancy place like you wanted to see.”

"Cool." Ellie swings her arms and takes a few steps faster than the last. "Maybe the beds won't all be disgusting. I'd kill to sleep on a mattress tonight instead of the ground."

Joel snorts. “Who the hell are you tellin’? My back is killing me.” There’s not a day that goes by that something doesn’t ache, but he just pushes through. Still, it’ll be good to get a good night's sleep.

“Old man.” Ellie snorts, although each time she says it it’s slightly fonder than the last. Like she’s finally accepting the fact that the old curmudgeon isn’t that bad.

“Fifty-six years old.” He grumbles, shaking his head again. Maybe the hotel would have some canned goods they could pilfer. Nothing like a giant can of green beans or corn to fill the kid’s stomach.

“Old old man.” Ellie corrects herself with a smirk. “Ancient-as-fuck old man.” The hotel that appears on the horizon as they walk is about a hundred years old from the look of it. Art Deco outsides far from the glory they once exuded and probably housing nothing but dilapidated shadows of a world long gone. Still, it’s standing. And it doesn’t have any holes missing from the look of it, so that’s better than a lot of places they’d been up until now. “Coooool!” Ellie crows, getting a good look at the sign as they walk. Once upon a time, the light-up marquee would have announced The Promenade loudly and proudly. Now it’s rusty, but at least it’s still standing.

“You know the drill, kid.” Joel cautions her as they draw closer. “We scope out the interior, look for food and then we’ll get set up with a place to sleep.” The wariness in the pit of his stomach is common every time they do this, but it makes him more cautious as he squints to survey the surroundings.

“I know.” She nods, having agreed long ago that what Joel said was law. Even if she pokes and prods at him sometimes, she’s learned that setting up camp isn’t a good time for teasing.

“Good.” He smirks slightly. “Maybe we can order room service.” He jokes, noticing a glint of metal on the top floor and he stares hard at it for a moment before he realizes it’s a piece of aluminum from the air conditioning units on the roof.

“Oh, sure.” That makes Ellie snort and roll her eyes. “A bacon cheeseburger and all the fries I can eat and an ice cream sundae.” Things she had really only read about in books or saw on signs as they traveled. What she would give for one of the roadside McDonald’s they found to actually be operational.

“Extra bacon.” Joel agrees, nodding. “With ketchup and hot sauce on the fries.” Too bad the kid couldn’t have actually had something like that. She would love it.

“Goddamn I want to try French fries.” Ellie grumbles, only to have Joel put out his hand to silence her a second later. He must have seen something inside. The large glass panels in the tops of the doors give you a decent view of the lobby from outside.

“Take your gun out.” Joel orders, pulling his own revolver out so he holds it in his hand as the pace slows. Approaching the doors quietly and listening as he looks through the dirty glass.

Ellie gulps, complying silently and falling in line behind Joel. He doesn’t like her to even touch the gun she carries unless absolutely necessary, so the time for teasing is definitely over. Inside the windows they can make out two figures. They’re not heavily armed from what Joel and Ellie can see, and they don’t seem to be aware of their fast-approaching visitors. Are they— dancing? “The hell?” Ellie breathes out, almost laughing when she realizes yes – that is just a couple of weirdo adults dancing inside that abandoned hotel lobby.

“Fucking hell.” Joel narrows his eyes and searches for any signs of it being an ambush. He’s seen weirder ploys to catch people off guard. “Don’t fucking speak.” He warns as he decides if it’s better to go inside or find somewhere else. Except there’s nowhere else for miles. The decision is made by the dark clouds off to the west and he sighs. “Okay?” He turns and looks at Ellie seriously.

Ellie nods, making the motion of zipping her lips shut and throwing away the key. The last thing she wants is to get shot. She’s not immune to that.

Joel sighs before he grabs the patinated handle of the heavy front door and yanks it open. “Quit moving, turn around.” He orders, quickly stepping through the door and leveling the gun at the man and woman in the lobby.

“Jesus fuck!” Dieter doesn’t mean to be so startled – it happens easily these days – but he does feel like an ass for dropping you when someone bursts through the front door of the hotel that hasn’t seen any other occupants in seven years. “Don’t shoot!”

 “Fuck—fuck!” You scramble to your feet, grabbing a pistol of your own off the nearby check in counter. “Who the fuck are you? What do you want?” The words are a demand as you put yourself between this newcomer and the man you’ve lived with for twenty-five years. Not a stitch of armor on you but it doesn’t matter. You’d take the bullet if it came to that.

“Are you alone?” Joel demands gruffly, his eyes darting between the two of you before he narrows his eyes and leans in. “D-Dieter!?” he spits out. “Is that you?”

The man behind you sticks his wary head out, always suspicious of anyone who recognizes him, especially twenty years after the world more or less ended. “Fucking—Joel?!” He chokes out, nearly shouting in your ear and pulling on your arm. “It’s okay, baby. It’s okay. He’s—he’s okay. Holy shit man.”

“Jesus fucking Christ, that is you.” Joel doesn’t know who the fuck you are, but he knows anyone with Dieter isn’t a threat to him. Holstering his gun, he shocks Ellie by rushing forward and grabbing Dieter to pull him into a bone crushing hug. He was probably the last person he had expected to find on the road to Wyoming but he’s glad to see him.

It’s debatable who is more confused - you or the teenager that has been trailing behind this Joel - and you and she find yourselves pointing your guns at each other for a moment while the two men embrace before you click the safety back into place. If this is the Joel that you’ve heard about, you’re safe. If it’s someone else, Dieter will explain. At least the kid has the decency to pull the door shut behind her after she lowers her own gun.

******

“Stupid faggot.” The words are accompanied by another punch to the stomach and gangly Dieter Black doubles over with a grunt of pain. The group of kids surrounding them weren't exactly coy in their dislike of anyone different from them and Dieter had become their latest target. Mike Robinson laughs and pushes Dieter back against the lockers, smug and leaning into his personal space as he gasps for breath. “What’re you gonna do, bitch boy?” He taunts. “Cry? Piss yourself?” He draws his fist back again, ready to break the queer’s nose when suddenly someone shoves through the crowd.

 “Fucking asshole!” Joel wasn’t as stocky as Robinson, but that was because he ate less McDonald’s and was on the baseball team. Fury twists his features, and he doesn’t hesitate to use all 5 '11” of his frame to shove the other boy away from Dieter. “Why don’t you fight me?” He challenges, bowing up slightly and using his broad frame to look bigger. “I’m not your size, but I’ll wipe the floor with your ass, pussy.” He spits.

“Gotta teach the fucking faggot a lesson!” Robinson barks, though his fist does lower slightly after scrabbling to his feet. Miller has a reputation for ending fights even if he wasn’t the one who started them.

Dieter slumps when Joel’s bulk comes into view, knowing that - for now at least - he’s safe. Miller has never said much beyond fending off the bullies, but Dieter is grateful. Offering to help the baseball star pass English out of gratitude for saving him from a few ass whippings.

“Gonna have to go through me, fat ass.” Joel scoffs, sending him a smirk that tells the kid he would like nothing more. Coach Johnson couldn’t risk Joel not playing in Friday’s game considering he had the highest batting average on the team and was currently on a hitting streak. Not this close to the championship. So this little incident would be swept under the rug. “What’s the matter? Pissed off that he wouldn’t kiss your shit smelling mouth?”

“As if I would ever fuckin—” Robinson sputters, looking to his goons for back up but they’re no help. They don’t want to get their asses kicked by Joel Miller anymore than he does. “Filthy fucking queer!” He spits, pounding his fist into the locker beside Dieter’s head so hard one of his knuckles makes a dent. It’s worth the pain for the way the little worm squirms and flinches. “C’mon boys,” he orders his cronies. “You’re lucky I’m feeling fuckin’ nice today, Black!”

Joel clenches his fists as he watches the bullies turn around and stride off like they are being benevolent. He doesn’t say anything, although he wants to. Only when they turn the corner does he glance over at Dieter. “You alright, man?” He asks gruffly, bending down to pick up the backpack that had been knocked out of his hands.

“Yeah.” Dieter sniffles, hiding his face from the other boy. It doesn’t help his case at all that the one person who keeps saving his ass is the one he’s always fantasizing about. “Yeah,” he mutters again and reaches for his backpack. “You don’t have to keep doing that, ya know.”

Joel looks over at Dieter and notices the fading remnants of a black eye and his jaw clenches slightly. “Yeah I do.” He lets go of the backpack and steps back.

“They’re gonna start thinking you’re my friend.” He protests, knowing that that wouldn’t be good for the athlete’s reputation. To be known friends with a drama geek loser who routinely gets beat up wouldn’t be good. Even Joel Miller couldn’t survive that for too long.

“Fuck ‘em.” Joel shrugs and rolls his eyes. “I can kick all their asses and if they keep fucking around, I will.” He shoves his hands in his pockets and looks around, the halls now deserted. “You headed to science or theatre?”

Dieter stares blankly, wondering how Joel knows his schedule, before he re-composes his face and stammers out “Th-theatre.” He shuffles his bag higher in his shoulder and glances down the empty hallway. “You?” He pretends not to know. That he doesn’t have his impossible crush’s schedule memorized. This is Joel’s free period, which means he’ll probably be going down to the gym.

“Free period.” Joel offers. “Plannin’ on going for a run out in the woods past the baseball fields.” He turns towards the theatre hall and starts walking. He gets three steps before he realizes that Dieter isn’t coming and turns back to look at him. “You comin’?”

“It’s the other way.” Dieter feels like an idiot, pointing his thumb in the direction of the locker room and the front entrance of the school where he would have to go out to go for a run. Theater classes are in the auditorium, which is the exact opposite direction. “You’re—you— you’re going the wrong way.” He stammers out, eyes down on the floor.

“Walkin’ you to class.” Joel tells him, like it’s the most obvious thing in the world. “So you don’t have to worry about those assholes.”

"Oh." He feels like a moron, and it probably shows on his face, but Dieter rushes to get in step with Joel. His pathetic little crush might be miles out of reach, but he's not stupid enough to turn down the opportunity to spend just two more minutes in Joel's shadow. "I—um...thanks."

“No problem.” Joel isn’t great with words and comes off sarcastic half the time and angry the other half, but he gives a huff that could be interpreted as a small sound of embarrassment. “They’re wrong.” He says after a minute and a hundred feet down the hall. “About you.”

Dieter's eyes flash up to Joel's face, and though both boys are the same height, Joel is built broader and stronger than Dieter is. He feels downright gangly next to the athlete. "No." He mutters, shaking his head. "They're not. That...that's the problem."

“What? Because you're gay?” Joel huffs, shaking his head. “That’s not true because I saw you making out with Tabitha Nuñez last month.”

"Except..." It makes his stomach twist, never having said any of this out loud to another person. He's read the words, or heard them said, but owning them himself is an entirely new experience. "I kind of am. I mean...you can like both, ya know? It's possible. So they're kind of...half right."

“So?” Joel’s stomach twists and he shrugs again. “Doesn’t mean they get to beat the shit out of you.” He growls, pissed off that they had been pounding on Dieter when it’s obvious that he doesn’t fight back. “He give you that black eye?”

"No." Bowing his head again to keep the eyesore out of sight, Dieter shuffles awkwardly along beside Joel. "That was my dad." The discovery of his magazine stash had been a rude awakening in the Black house. He's honestly just lucky that he didn't get kicked out before he left for school this morning.

“Fucker.” Joel hisses, shaking his head and he reaches out and slaps Dieter on the shoulder. Not too hard, so he doesn’t think he’s treating him like everyone else. “So come stay at my house tonight.” He offers. “Parents are away…again.”

Stopping dead in his tracks, Dieter feels slack and tense all at once, like he's going to shake apart out of confusion and...happiness? Is that what this feeling is? "Why are you being so nice to me?" He demands, his slight drawl making him sound more aggravated than curious. He just doesn't fucking understand it.

“Why shouldn’t I be?” Joel frowns, thoroughly confused at the anger in Dieter’s tone. “Would you rather I was an asshole to you?” Maybe he resented him helping, the idea makes Joel’s heart drop, but he doesn’t show it.

"I just don't see what's in it for you." Dieter had offered to help Joel pass English - the only class they had together - but Joel had never said yes or no. He had just huffed something noncommittal and headed for class when the bell rang. He's used to people wanting things from him - even if all they wanted him for was to be a punching bag. "I—I mean you're...you're literally one of the most popular kids in school and you don't have to spare me a second fucking look but you're always so fucking nice to me and I never see you be nice to anyone else. I don't get it."

Joel turns his head and just stares at Dieter, wondering if the other boy was just fucking with him or if he had really not understood. He guesses it’s not as obvious. “Really?” He asks, rolling his eyes. He glances at the bathroom signs and then around the deserted hallway before he grabs Dieter’s shoulder to shove him into the boy’s side.

Well that answers that, Dieter thinks as Joel pulls him into the cramped bathroom. He just wanted a target alone. It's shattering, the way Dieter can feel his own tender heart breaking as he braces to be beaten up by the one person he thought was on his side. It's better to just get it over with, he tells himself.

Joel is sweating bullets and he glances around the bathroom to make sure that there is no one around. Furtively glancing either way once more as he keeps Dieter up against the cream-colored tile before he lets him go. Swallowing harshly before he leans in, hoping he doesn’t lose his nerve before quickly pressing his lips to the other boy’s before leaning back just as fast. “There, happy?” He demands nervously, wiping his sweaty palms on his jeans and looking anywhere but Dieter in case he had just fucked up.

"You—" One hand flies to his lips immediately, like he can't trust his own senses to tell him what just happened, and he knows that he's staring because he can barely breathe. "But you were dating Alison Harcourt all last year!"

“Yeah.” Joel nods and shoves his hands in his pockets. “I was. But what you said— you know, about both….” He shrugs defensively. “Whatever…you shouldn’t get the shit kicked out of you for it.” It’s a fucking risk and he’s almost about to throw up, thinking that he had read Dieter wrong. Just because he was…queer…didn’t mean he liked every boy. Joel knows that very well. Maybe he didn’t like him.

"I didn't know." Dieter murmurs, making sure he keeps his voice down so that no one passing in the hallway would know that there were people in this bathroom. The very last thing they need right now is to be discovered. He steps toward Joel cautiously, like he's approaching his mom's easily spooked dog, and touches his shoulder to make the older boy look up at him. "I won't tell anybody," he promises solemnly. "This is just between us."

Joel stares at Dieter for another minute before he nods. “O-okay.” He rasps out. “So—are you gonna come sleep over? Or no?” He had meant the offer. His parents were rarely home, to the point where he had practically raised his younger brother Tommy. If Dieter was getting hit at home, he could come crash with them.

"Yeah." Dieter bobbles his head awkwardly. His fingers grazed Joel's arm for just a second too long and now they're tingling. Maybe he's imagining it - he has a damn good imagination after all - but Joel feels warm to him. Warm and enticing. "Yeah. I'm gonna come sleep over."

“Okay.” Joel’s head also goes up and down. “Practice was canceled today, so we can leave after school.” He looks around again. “Come on. Mr. Mackie bitches when you’re late, right?”

"Yeah." He can't remember if he told Joel that or if it's just something that he knew, but Dieter grins, blushing a little that Joel has remembered little things like that. That Joel kissed him. Even if he could tell people, they would never believe him. "Mostly because they can't start without me," he boasts gently, puffing up his chest. "I'm the star for this show."

“I know.” Joel smirks at the pride in Dieter’s voice. “You’re gonna be a big movie star one day. I know it.”

******

"You're alive." Dieter finds himself getting misty-eyed with his arms around his former lover. It doesn't matter that it's been more than twenty years since he actually saw Joel face-to-face. "You're fucking alive." He pulls back to look Joel in the face, seeing those decades reflected back at him. "It's been a long fucking time."

“Me?” Joel shakes his head and pulls him in for another hug. “How the fuck did you survive this shit?” Joel had kept up with Dieter’s career, and celebrated his successes with quiet pride. Sarah had rolled her eyes at him and his willingness to own all of Dieter Bravo’s movies, never telling her that he had known him when he was Dieter Black.

"That's what happens when you do as many ‘shrooms as I did in college." Dieter puffs up with a laugh. "The fungi accepted me as one of their own and passed right on by. No more room in the ol' headspace for more to grow." He knows it sounds ridiculous, but it's a more fun theory than your explanation - which is that he was on a no-carb diet at the time of the outbreak to lose weight for a role.

“Hold on— you hug people?” Ellie is holding up her hand and shaking her head like she’s witnessed some sort of miracle. Joel rolls his eyes as he pulls back from Dieter, taking in all the changes that had occurred over the last thirty years, twenty really, since he had watched his movies.

 “So doing all those drugs saved your life, huh?” His eyes slide over to where you are standing, still confused and he points his chin towards you. “Who’s your guard dog?” He hadn’t missed the way Dieter had ducked behind you and figured he was still needing protection more than protecting anyone. He had filled out over the years, but Dieter had always been as non-confrontational as he could possibly be.

“Oh!” Entranced by seeing Joel again, Dieter had apparently forgotten there was anyone else in the room but now he waves for you to come over to him as he introduces you. “Baby, this is Joel.” He tells you excitedly. “Joel from Austin.”

 “Wait…this is Joel?” The name clicks into place with how happy Dieter is to see this man and the slight disbelief in his eyes. He looks almost nostalgic, which is unusual for a man who has admittedly burned a whole lot of memories away with drug use. “Well damn,” you murmur, mostly to yourself. Moving back to the check-in desk a few feet away, you pick up a device with the hand that isn’t holding a gun and hold it up so he can see that it’s a scanner. “Just a formality,” you insist, since you know Dieter won’t let you send these people away. Joel Miller was his first love.

 “Baby…” Dieter gives you a pout, asking you to put the scanner and gun down, before he looks back at Joel. “They told me not to marry my personal assistant but she takes such good fucking care of me.”

Huffing in amusement, Joel shakes his head. "You were never one to be told what to do." He drawls, remembering how obstinate Dieter could be, even if it was to his detriment. Him and Tommy accounted for half his gray hairs even back then. He tilts his neck to the side so you can press the scanner there and it clicks green but when you move towards Ellie, he grabs your arm. "Not the girl." He knows she won't pass.

That’s not a compromise you want to make, but Dieter brushes past it with absolute trust - something that is very rare for him. It took a year of working for him for him to actually trust you, for fuck’s sake. “Fine,” you eye the teen suspiciously. If push comes to shove, you can take out one brand-new clicker. You’ve done it plenty of times before now.

 “What the hell are you doing here?” Dieter wants to know. He’s waving everybody further into the belly of the hotel while you go to relock the front doors, because he had apparently not checked them well enough this morning.

"Me?" Joel scoffs, looking around the crumbling hotel and feeling completely out of place. "Headin' to Wyoming." He shoots Dieter a small shrug. "Tommy's there. Need to find him and drop her off." He nods towards Ellie. "This is a long ass way from L.A." He offers, wondering how the hell Dieter has lasted twenty years in an apocalyptic world. From what Joel had seen, he had become a very pampered actor, although it's good that you seem to care about him.

“We were shooting here.” He has no filter around Joel, the absolute truth spilling from his lips as easy as breathing. “Outbreak day, I mean. They were starting to evacuate some people but…” Dieter shrugs lamely, having made his peace with it years ago. “The studio locked us down here, told us to stay out for our own safety. And then when those FEDRA fuckers came through, we hid with a couple of other people. Fuck those assholes.”

"Here?" Joel looks around and admits that it would be a good place to hole up if you needed to. "How the fuck have you survived twenty years in a hotel?"

“It turns out the staff wasn’t so big on fresh food.” When you return to the group you move right to Dieter’s side. “Obviously we’ve had to hunt, but everybody in this area just tucked tail and went where FEDRA told them to, so we’ve had a lot of abandoned resources to survive on.” It's dwindled, obviously, and it’s next to nothing now, but you’re not about to tell them that.

Joel nods, understanding now and even with it being the two of you, over the years the supplies would have been worn down. He glances towards the doors and sighs. "Well, will you let us stay tonight?" He asks, not sure if you two are willing to share your safe space. It's obviously free of infected. "We'll move on in the morning."

Dieter opens his mouth to say of course! But you put a hand on his arm before he can do more than form the first word. “Your kid’s okay?” He wouldn’t let you scan her so you have to assume that something is wrong.

"She's fine." Joel spits out defensively, shuffling slightly so he can be a human shield between you and the girl. No wonder Dieter survived; you weren't as trusting as his former boyfriend. You were smarter than that.

“If he says she’s okay, then she’s okay.” Your husband looks up at you with his best puppy dog eyes and you sigh inwardly. That expression is how he keeps you wrapped around his finger and he knows it. That, and the third fucking leg he somehow manages to hide in the lounge pants he wears every single day.

 “Okay.” You nod your head, squeezing Dieter’s shoulder before you look back to the new arrivals. “Stay the night. There’s plenty of places to sleep. We’ve kept the fourth floor for living space.”

"Have you had many people come through here?" Joel asks, glancing around again. He wonders who else is here or has been here. Despite knowing Dieter, he wonders if it's just the two of you.

“There were some groups moving through a few years ago.” Dieter waves at the sofa across from where he’s standing and flops back on a chaise lounge like an exhausted Roman emperor, pulling you down beside him. “The people who stayed behind with us either left or died. A couple got infected.” He shudders at that. It had been as traumatic as anything he could remember, to see his friends turn to literal monsters. “But mostly it’s just been us, the gramophone, and a hell of a lot of books.”

 "Never thought I would see you settle down." Joel admits, smirking slightly at the position that Dieter has thrown himself into. At least the affection between the two of you seems genuine. "It only took the fucking end of the world."

 Ellie has been staring at Dieter and her face lights up. "I know you! You're an actor! You were in that movie...what the hell is the name of it?" She snaps her fingers, biting her lip as she tries to figure out what it was. "It's one of the few we had in the FEDRA school." She looks over at Joel. "How the fuck do you know him?"

Dieter grimaces at the idea that FEDRA is using his movies as propaganda, but he looks at Joel curiously. Why the hell was his kid in a FEDRA school? “Your dad and I grew up together,” he explains, not knowing how much she might know about the man Joel used to be. “Way back when.”

"I'm not her dad." Joel says at the same time Ellie goes, "He's not my dad."

 The two of them look at each other and then Ellie's eyes widen. "Wait! You knew Joel when he was young. Has he always been an asshole?" She demands, grinning at Joel before she looks at Dieter expectantly.

“Kind of.” Dieter laughs, enjoying the scowl on his ex-boyfriend’s face. “He’s always had resting asshole face. Never started fights but always ended them, ya know? Nobody fucked with Joel back then.” Except him - but that was a fully different meaning of the word.

Joel's brow lifts, watching you try to keep your expression neutral because it's obvious you know the complete nature of his and Dieter's relationship back in high school. That the two of them had been together and explored sexually before Dieter had left for college and never come back. It's interesting that Dee ended up with a woman, like he had. Despite all the rumors of fucking anyone who would let him, Dieter still managed to bag gorgeous women and it seems that the Outbreak hadn't changed that.

“So you guys are headed to Wyoming?” Even with Dieter curled around you like a man-shaped blanket, you somehow manage to maintain your composure in the face of his ex.

Joel nods, his fingers twitching when he sees Dieter’s hands start to drift from the socially acceptable areas of a partner’s body in front of guests. “Yeah.” He clears his throat, suddenly thinking about the times that he and Dieter would fantasize together.

Dieter smirks, obviously doing it on purpose to see if he can get a rise out of Joel decades later, and lets his hand span the inside of your thigh with glee. "To find Tommy?" He prompts.

His eyes are on the way that Dieter is gripping your thigh, blanking out for a moment before he comes to. "Huh? Oh...yeah." Joel grunts out, trying to ignore the way that his cock twitches. "To find Tommy." He nods, trying not to let Dieter get to him. It wasn't like he had forgotten everything they had done together and talked about doing together.

"I'm surprised you let him out of your sight." The smirk on the younger man's face grows and he drops a kiss on your shoulder. You're just letting the conversation roll along, seemingly unbothered by Dieter's roaming hands. Presumably, you're very used to it. "Tommy was in my class." He explains to you. "Joel was very protective back then."

"He— he's my brother." Lucky for Joel, Ellie has lost interest in the catching up happening between him and Dieter and has started exploring the hotel. "Of course I was protective." He doesn't mention that he had protected Dieter just as vehemently.

"Mmhmm." Your hand catches Dieter's before it can go as far as cupping your cunt right in front of his ex, but you just shake your head. Unbothered and maybe vaguely amused is how your expression reads. "Dee hasn't had an audience in a while," you explain vaguely, throwing your husband an indulgent smile. "Clearly he's glad to see you."

Joel shuffles slightly and clears his throat, unsure of what his ex might have shared with you about that time. "I don't know about that." He grunts. "Been a long time."

"Joel." Dieter aims that deadly pout at the older man now, just the same way he had learned to aim it at you. "She knoooooows. You think I didn't tell me wife about the first cock I ever sucked?"

Joel’s eyes widen and he quickly twists his head around and makes sure that Ellie hadn't decided to be nosy. Not that he gave a fuck about people knowing that side of him, but she would be annoying as fuck with all the questions. When he sees that she's messing behind the front counter, pretending she's checking people into rooms, he looks back at the two of you. "So did you get married before the Outbreak or...?" He tries not to think about how good Dieter had gotten at sucking his cock since it's been a long fucking time from the last blow job he's gotten until now.

"You're making the poor guy nervous, babe." He did that sometimes, usually unintentionally, but it had been a long time since anyone else had even been physically near you to make nervous. Turning your head, you press a kiss to Dieter's cheek and ruffle his hair affectionately. "I'll go find the kid something to eat and get her settled? Give you boys some time to catch up."

 "Mm, you're the fuckin' best." Dieter hums, giving your ass a squeeze before you walk off in the direction of the front desk to get the teenager's attention. "I, uh—" He had forgotten what Joel asked, but the thought snaps back quickly once he's done staring at your ass. "Yeah, we...we got married like...a couple of months before the Outbreak. We just did a little thing in our backyard in Malibu." He shrugs, though his smile is a little lopsided remembering the soft, white sundress you'd worn that day and how gorgeous you looked under all the twinkle lights strung through every tree that night. "Didn't want fuckin paps everywhere, ya know?"

"You always did kind of like nature." The smug comment falls off his tongue before he can stop it. Something very different from a backyard in Malibu.

******

Dieter grunts as he pushes Joel against the broad tree-trunk, one hand on the older boy's chest to hold him in place as they exchange a ferocious kiss. It's been a week since they got any time alone together and they're ravenous for contact at this point. His other hand is everywhere - touching, grasping, groping, unsettled and needy and frazzled with want.

"Dee, fuck." Joel's groan doesn't go far in the thick copse of trees, deep inside and past the old abandoned barn that had been reclaimed by nature. "You always get so fuck-ing eager when I defend you." His own fingers sink into Dieter's hair and twists around the curls, pulling as he drags the other's boy's lips back to his. Groaning again when he cups his cock through the thin basketball shorts he had been wearing when he had slipped out of the gym to meet Dieter in the woods.

"It's sexy." The explanation is honest, at least, and Dieter grins again when he feels Joel's dick twitch and harden a little more in his palm. "My big, scary protector," he croons. He's not even exaggerating.

"Start-starting to think you— you taunt them." Joel knows Dieter doesn't, but it's cute to see the pout flash across his boyfriend's face. "Shit." He hisses when Dieter's exceptionally nimble fingers slide up his shorts to wrap around his cock. "Keep it up." He growls in warning. It's been a fucking week since he's fucked Dieter since his parents actually decided to come home, although they are leaving again this afternoon. He's got a major case of blue balls and his fucking boyfriend is teasing him.

"I've been up." Dieter retorts, taking Joel's hand and pressing it against the front of his jeans. Over the course of their extremely secret relationship, he's had to get very creative with how to hide his hard-ons so he doesn't sport noticeable wood whenever Joel is around.

"Shit." He hisses, squeezing Dieter's cock and groaning when the other boy starts to massage his cock. "Come over tonight." He begs quietly. "I want—I want to fuck you." Tommy is aware of the relationship, but he doesn't give a damn and he doesn't say a word about it. Everyone else in town just thought that Joel protected Dieter because they were friends.

"Your parents leaving?" Mouthing at Joel's neck, Dieter is careful to never leave a mark behind but always uses enough pressure to make his boyfriend squirm. Stroking his cock at the same time - like he's doing now - is usually a recipe for breaking Joel's composure pretty quickly.

"Yeah." Joel's parents think that Joel has just adopted another kid to look after but even if they weren't leaving, he would want Dieter to come over. "You—if they didn't, we could be quiet." It would have to be Dieter that was quiet because he got loud when he was getting fucked. "Shit baby."

"I bet I could get you to scream now." Dieter's eyes flash mischievously. He nips at the sensitive skin of Joel's throat and gives his cock one more stroke before dropping to his knees in the patch of grass around the tree Joel is pressed against. "Don't have to be quiet in the woods."

"Oh fuck." Joel's eyes widen and he glances around just because of how exposed they are. "Baby, you don't—" He doesn't want to say yes because he doesn't want Dieter to feel like he owes him for saving him from another beating but he doesn't stop him when he reaches for the elastic band of his shorts and starts to pull them down. "Are you really going to suck my dick in the woods?" He asks breathlessly.

The wolfish grin on Dieter's face is the only answer he gives, right before diving in and taking Joel's fully hard cock in his mouth. He winks up at him from his knees before readjusting his hand around the base of Joel's shaft, making sure that he doesn't leave a single inch of that gorgeous dick untouched before he starts to bob back and forth like he had taught himself from untold hours of porn.

"Shiiiiiiiit." Joel doesn't even feel it when he bangs his head back against the tree. The wet heat of Dieter's mouth is fucking amazing and his eyes squish shut. "Oh fuck." One hand is curled into a fist and the other reaches down and tangles into Dieter's hair again. "So fucking good. Suck dick like a fucking vacuum."

A pleased, almost preening sound bubbles out of Dieter, basking in Joel's praise, and vibrates around his cock as he works the length over and over again. The hand in his hair only spurs him on, gauging how much pleasure Joel is getting from how tight he's tugging his hair. Dieter is an observant little shit if nothing else, and he had zeroed in on Joel's tells quickly as their physical relationship grew. This time will be fast and furious, judging from the way Joel's fingers are digging into his scalp.

It's almost natural how quickly his hips start to rock forward, looking down and watching his dick disappear into Dieter's mouth. Watching his lips stretch out around him. "Fuck, I'm gonna cum, Dee." He warns him. "Swallow it." He pants out. "Every fucking drop." There have been plenty of times where they had spit out cum, but he wants him to swallow him down today. Wanting him to taste his essence for the rest of the day.

He'll take the order gladly, moving the hand that's gripping Joel's hip to his balls to add to the pleasure and bring him over the edge. Joel Miller is a fucking gorgeous sight when he cums and Dieter keeps his eyes glued to his face so he doesn't miss a second of it.

It only takes a quick squeeze of his balls and the feeling of Dieter's throat closing around the head of his cock and Joel groans out his name. Throbbing on his boyfriend's tongue as ropes of cum spill down his throat in an intense rush that seems to get better every fucking time.

Dieter has instructions and he follows them to the letter, swallowing down every last drop including the ones he has to lick off the corners of his mouth before they escape and dribble down his chin. Joel looks absolutely wrecked and it makes him proud to know that he did that. He is the reason that the hottest, brooding-est athlete in school is panting in pleasure. It's his name that Joel Miller says when he cums. "Feel better, baby?"

"Stand the fuck up." Joel growls, grabbing Dieter's arm and dragging him up off the floor of the woods. Kissing him desperately despite the lingering remnant of his own spend on his boyfriend's tongue. He doesn't care. Shuffling to turn him around and push him up against the same tree he had just cum in front of, Joel breaks the kiss to take Dieter's place on his knees.

The needy whimper that spills out of Dieter's mouth when Joel drops to his knees echoes in the trees and he braces himself as best he can against the one at his back. "Y-you don't...ha-have to," he shudders watching Joel tug open the buttons on his jeans. "Fuck baby."

Joel huffs, rolling his eyes up at Dieter as he yanks the boy's pants down and smirks when he doesn't find any underwear. "You think I'm going to leave you hanging?" He demands, reaching out and wrapping his hand around Dieter's throbbing cock. Leaning in and taking him into his mouth with the same eagerness that he had been sucked off.

"Know you w—wouldn't." Dieter gasps out, shuddering as Joel's hot mouth closes around his length. If he believed in God ever, he'd be thanking Him incessantly for making Joel Miller bisexual. He groans deep in his chest and twines his fingers through Joel's short hair. "Fuuuck."

Humming around the cock in his mouth, Joel starts to jerk the base quickly. Also having learned exactly what does it for Dieter, and he hollows his cheeks around him. It will be fast and dirty; it always is when Joel blows him. It's like he still hasn't gotten used to the fact that the boy he has such a crush on would suck his dick.

"Shit, shit, shit!" One hand grasps the tree trunk behind him to steady himself but Dieter's other hand cards through Joel's hair. He doesn't like it as rough as Dieter does so he's careful not to pull too hard. "You're so fucking good at that, fuck."

Joel looks up at him, bobbing his head frantically as he swallows around him. Wanting him to fall apart and cum for him. He's gorgeous when he cums, shakily panting Joel's name as he does.

It never takes Dieter long when they're like this. The danger of potential discovery is almost as much of a turn on as the person on his knees, and Dieter's stamina can never stand up against Joel's determination to make him practically implode with desire. Mere minutes is all it takes before Dieter is gasping out his name in choked breaths. "Joel, f—fuuuck Joel, I'm gonna cum, baby, fuck, fuck, Joel!"

The first time Dieter had cum in Joel's mouth, he had nearly gagged. Sputtering from the force of the spurts hitting his tonsils, but now he's swallowing him down just like he had told Dieter to. Holding onto his hips and pulling him closer as his boyfriend bucks into his mouth and shouts his name.

Dieter crumples against the tree, eyes wide to watch Joel in awe, and pants for breath as the last rope of his cum hits his boyfriend's tongue with force. He's watched enough porn to know that he cums hard, but Joel doesn't complain about it. Sometimes he teases, but it's never mean. "H-holy shit," he huffs out, fingers instantly soothing through Joel's hair because he knows he pulled way too hard when he came.

Joel hums, swallowing the last drops before he surges to his feet and kisses him one last time. "We— we need to get back." He pants quietly. "You comin' over tonight?"

"Yeah." One more kiss, because Dieter can't help himself, and he shifts his jeans back up his legs to button them carefully. "I'll come over as soon as I can." Both boys know that that means as soon as Dad is drunk but neither of them say it. There's no use in holding the black cloud over time they get to spend together.

"Yeah." Joel nods, frowning slightly and shaking his head. "Just pack up for the weekend," he suggests.

"Okay." Dieter murmurs, nodding slightly. He grasps on for one more kiss before fixing a bit of Joel's hair that he tugged out of place. "Go. They're gonna notice you're gone if you stay longer."

Joel pulls his shorts up and nods. "I'll see you later, okay?" He swallows and tosses Dieter a grin before he turns and starts to make his way out of the woods to go work out for gym class.

******

"Can't believe you're actually fuckin' here." Dieter mutters, shaking his head at Joel. "I mean I'm not surprised you were stubborn enough to survive, but...fuck, ya know?" He huffs at how inarticulate he is for a man who used to make his living at spoken words. "Tell me about shit. You, Tommy, your life, whatever. What was..." he searches his spotty memory, barely coming up with kernels of information. "Amber, right?" The last time the two men had seen each other in any meaningful way was when Joel's wife was pregnant. But considering he has a kid with him that isn't his and is too young to be that kid anyway, Dieter isn't exactly sure what happened.

Joel's eyes slide away from Dieter's, not because he had been ashamed of his relationship with Amber. Both men had moved on from their relationship. "Yeah." He huffs quietly. "She— she left, a few months after Sarah, our daughter, was born." He tells Dieter, looking down at his watch like he always does when he thinks of her.

“Shit…” The word drags out awkwardly as Dieter rubs at the back of his neck and tries not to cringe. “I’m sorry, man. That’s bullshit. You guys seemed so happy…”

"Well..." Joel shrugs. "She wasn't happy being a mother after all, I guess." He hadn't thought about Amber in years, but it still hurts that she had abandoned him with a three-month-old baby. It had been a learning curve to be a single parent. Only his time raising his brother had helped.

“I’m sorry.” Dieter says again, slipping off the chaise he was sitting on to come sit next to Joel. He’s rarely seen a version of this man that was hurting, so it’s not something he really knows how to process. He just knows that Joel used to like having him close, so he gravitates that way. “I didn’t mean to— I mean…you know,” he mumbles incoherently.

“You didn’t know.” Joel knows he would never willingly cause him any pain. Not even when he had moved on.

Dieter bites his lip, not wanting to ask about Joel’s daughter since he had already asked one dumb question already. “So Tommy’s in Wyoming?” He settles on, hoping it isn’t a sore subject as well. He wants to sit and catch up with Joel, he’s just shit at small talk.

“Yeah.” He rolls his eyes and sighs. “Dumbass joined the Fireflies.” He huffs. “So he went out west and I had stayed in Boston.” He knows that Dieter wants to ask so he swallows. “Sarah…my daughter.” His voice is low enough that only Dieter can hear. “She died on Outbreak day.”

“Jesus.” Instinctively, Dieter reaches out and covers Joel’s hand with his, squeezing gently. “I’m so fucking sorry.”

��Well, you remember when my birthday is, right?” He asks, turning his hand and not letting the other man’s hand go. Nearly thirty years later, the touch of him still soothes.

“Oh shit.” It clicks in his mind instantly and he clutches Joel’s hand that much tighter. “She…Jesus Christ,” he huffs. “I woulda thrown myself off a goddamn bridge. I don’t know how you’re still standing.”

“It wasn’t for lack of trying the first few years.” Joel admits. “I sort of shut down.” Tommy was the only reason he had stuck around.

“Don’t blame you.” The sigh that Dieter blows out is audible and he points a thumb over his shoulder. “She’s pulled me back from the edge so many times I think she might’ve gone a little crazy herself.” His eyes cut back to Joel, though, and to their hands. “Kinda like you, back then.”

“You’re worth it.” Joel chuckles, remembering how Dieter had always kind of needed an emotional support person. It’s how he thrived.

Dieter’s habitual lopsided, lazy smile returns to his face slowly and he eyes Joel curiously. “Stay more than a night.” He asks, wondering what else has been going on in Joel’s life these past endless years. Dieter is a sentimental bastard, always has been, and nostalgic when he feels like it. “We don’t have much left, but…you don’t need to run off.”

“I—” Joel swallows and looks around. “You can’t stay here. Not without food. Even as safe as it is.”

“Something always turns up.” It’s sweet that Joel still worries, the instinct to protect Dieter apparently not having waned. “There’s a lake nearby. We fish a lot, and get some birds that way.” Like he said - it’s not a lot. But it’s enough for two.

It isn’t Joel’s place to try to make decisions for you and Dieter, but he makes his own decision to not take anything from the two of you. He won't accept any supplies if offered. He nods and looks around again. “It’s a nice place to have to spend the end of the world.” He flashes a grin. “Too bad the hot water doesn’t work.”

“You get used to filling up the industrial sink with heated water if you want a hot bath.” Dieter shrugs. His pampered lifestyle didn’t translate to the apocalypse, obviously.

“Better than freezing your ass off in a river.” Joel acknowledges, smirking at the howling Dieter would make, being cold. He had never liked cold water.

“Stay a little.” Dieter asks again, the insistence in his voice nearly a whine. “Just a little.” He huffs at himself, looking down at Joel’s hand in his. “A couple of days?”

“Your wife may not like that.” Joel prompts him gently. Just because he has a history with Dieter doesn’t mean he doesn’t know what he’s done before settling down. He won’t make poor decisions for his former lover. “You might want to ask her.”

“What makes you think I would marry a square?” It makes him laugh, more than he expected, and Dieter rolls his eyes affectionately at Joel. “If she says yes, you stay.”

“Okay.” He agrees with a small nod. “If she agrees, I’ll stay.”

******

“You two been on the road for long?” You’ve covered the basics with this kid - Ellie - and basically only managed to find out that she’s a 14-year-old bag of snarky comments, but it’s oddly reassuring that teenagers haven’t changed just because the world ended. In the big industrial kitchen there’s some water for her to drink, and she took up the offer understandably eagerly.

Ellie shrugs slightly. “Couple of months.” She tells you after she gulps down the last swallow of water. “We’ve walked a lot of miles.” She tells you. “His boots are wearing out.”

“How about yours?” You pour her another glass, knowing that you can get more from the lake. “They must be getting pretty worn, too? Clothes, too.”

“It happens.” She hasn’t wanted to complain but it’s getting harder. Especially when she’s run through all the tampons and the last time she had just stuffed her panties with an old shirt.

“There’s stuff here.” Nudging the refilled glass back across the table to her, you offer the kid as kind a smile as you can muster. “Everybody that was staying here, they left stuff behind. So there’s lots to pick from.”

“That would be cool.” She nods and takes the glass back again. “I like some of the stuff they wore back then.”

“Yeah?” That makes you almost laugh and tilt your head at her. “What stuff? I might know what room to send you to, to find it.”

“I don’t know how to describe it.” Ellie rolls her eyes. “Not like we have fashion week at FEDRA schools.” She looks around to make sure Joel isn’t close by. “You don’t have period shit, do you?” She asks furtively.

“Some.” You nod, trying to remember the exact inventory of pads you have in the closet upstairs. The nearest convenience stores, pharmacies, and even grocery store loot had all been piled into this hotel when there was just a small group of survivors, but thankfully there had only been two menstruating people in that group. “Do you need it now?” If she did, she probably needed clean clothes desperately, and wouldn’t hate a bath. You could heat some water for her to ease the pain.

“I ended yesterday.” Ellie rolls her eyes. It’s hard trying to hide that from Joel and especially hard when traveling out in the wilderness. The conversation about animals smelling her menstrual blood had been one filled with stuttered speech on Joel’s part and mortification on Ellie’s.

“I’ll pack some up for you.” What little you have left can be shared. She’s out in the wild and might not come across more…but you’re at least in a place where you can wash your rags each month. “I can’t imagine he’s remembering to check for supplies like that when you get a chance to rummage through places.”

“I’m normally on the lookout for that kind of thing.” Ellie snorts, imagining Joel buying tampons before the outbreak. He would be so fucking uncomfortable with it. Just like he was anytime she started complaining about cramps.

“I’ll scrounge up what I can for you.” Being a teenager out in the wilderness can’t be easy - even with access to tampons or pads. “I wish I had some pain killers or something to send you out with, but not getting FEDRA out here means our supplies dried up quickly.”

“Doesn’t hurt too bad.” Ellie shrugs. “Not like getting stabbed. That hurts like a motherfucker.”

“Yeah.” The abruptness of the observation makes you laugh, and you almost miss seeing Dieter amble toward through the kitchen doorway. “Yeah. Getting stabbed fucking sucks.”

“Who’s getting stabbed?” Dieter asks, brows raised and a goofy grin on his face as he makes his way to your side.

"It's a uterus thing." You assure him, happy as always to have your husband attach himself to your side. "I'm going to pack up some supplies for Ellie and get her new clothes, all that kind of stuff. There's enough to share upstairs."

“They are going to stay a couple of days.” Dieter announces, grinning at you like he’s won the lottery. “As long as you’re okay with it. Joel insisted.” He rolls his eyes as if it was never a question.

"Yeah. That's okay with me." It's not like you hadn't expected it, once you realized who Joel was to Dieter. While he's not exactly nostalgic for the entire way the world used to be, he's always talked about this particular ex with fondness. And while maybe it would have been weird twenty years ago, the world has changed. The fact is, you have resources and a roof, and they could use the help. "I'll go down and check the traps and do some fishing? Or we could all go, depending on how badly Joel and Ellie need to rest."

“I want to go!” Ellie immediately volunteers, always eager to see and do new things. There’s something going on with Joel and she figures she needs to give him some space to decide. These people have to be alright if Joel’s considering staying for a few days.

"That's the most excited I've ever seen a teenager get about fishing," you laugh, nodding to Ellie. "Alright, at the very least I'll take Ellie down to the lake and we can rustle up some dinner." What you have stored is best fleshed out with a catch of the day, and that's just fine.

“Cool.” Ellie grins, practically bouncing on her toes as Joel strides into the kitchen.

 “What’s cool?”

"As long as it's okay with you, I thought I would take Ellie down to the lake to do some fishing." He seems the protective sort, something you knew to be true from Dieter's stories but is very obvious upon meeting him. "Just down to the lake. Very safe. If you wanted to look out the south windows of the hotel or sit on the back porch, you could see us easily enough."

Joel frowns and looks between the hopeful face of Ellie and the two other adults. He sees the trust that Dieter places in you and his shoulders relax slightly. “You keep your gun on you, you hear me?” He tells Ellie seriously. “Keep your eyes open too and don’t fall in the goddamn water.” He looks over at you. “She can’t swim.”

"Understood." You nod, understanding that he takes whatever guardianship he has of this girl very seriously. "If it will make you feel better, we can all go? There's enough reels. This place has a little boathouse filled up with equipment and kayaks from letting guests go out on the lake way back when."

“Shit.” Dieter chuckles. “When was the last time you went fishing, Joel?” He asks, smirking. There had been plenty of times when they were teens, but they funnily enough never caught anything.

 Joel huffs and rolls his eyes. “Fine. We can all go.” He grumbles. “Wish there was beer though.” He jokes dryly.

Dieter opens his mouth excitedly only to have you point a finger at him knowingly. "You are not letting your friend touch that bathtub shit we made. It's bad enough we drink it. Joel doesn't need to be going blind from homemade moonshine."

“Moonshine.” Joel looks between the two of you and his eyes widen slightly. “I’m willing to risk it.”

"We're living in an art deco hotel, baby," Dieter reminds you, waggling his eyebrows at Joel's enthusiastic response. "If we didn't make bathtub booze it would be a sin against dramatic irony." All you can do is shake your head at them to keep from showing your amusement, otherwise Dieter will know he's won all too easily. "I'm pretty sure it has as much to do with irony as an Alanis Morrissette song, but...fine. You're both big boys. You can make your own decisions."

Joel waves his hand in front of your face. “You aren’t blind yet.” He reasons. “Has to be kinda decent.” He scoffs. “Remember that shit we used to drink? That was bad.”

"It's not far off," Dieter snorts, amusement lacing the creases in his face which are usually reserved for care or worry. "Still, I don't recommend we drink on the water." It's too out in the open, and drowning is a real concern, although you have no intention of letting the kid drink any. "We'll have some tonight?"

“Sounds good.” Joel can understand and appreciate the caution. He looks over at Ellie and nods at her. “Ready to go fishing, kiddo?”

"Hell yeah." Ellie pops up from the stool she was sitting on, excited to try something completely new.

 "This way." You nod to the opposite direction that everyone came in, ready to take them through the backdoor of the kitchen and out into the remaining afternoon light. It's actually pretty out here if you ignore the highway off in the distance, and that's not hard to do with twenty years of overgrowth and a grove of trees that cropped up around the back of the hotel property. It's chilly out but not too cold yet and you're reasonably optimistic that you can catch something to eat tonight. Tomorrow you'll stay out here for longer, catching whatever you can and stocking up for a few days of visitors.

“How do you keep warm in the hotel?” Joel asks, frowning slightly. “Are there fireplaces in the rooms?”

"Some of them." When you get outside, you turn around and point to the top of the hotel. From the back, several small chimneys are visible that are hidden by the architecture and signage of the front. "That's why we turned the fourth floor into our living space. Those are the suites that have working fireplaces. The other rooms had them filled in or they weren't there at all. It seems like they were an incentive to get a suite instead of a regular room."

“Makes sense.” Joel nods and has to admit that it seems like you have a very nice set up. Too bad you didn’t have any long-term setups like a garden or animals. “I like the fact you have a lake to fish in and gather water.”

"If we knew anything about raising animals it would be better than fishing and setting traps for rabbits or squirrels." You stifle a laugh when Dieter makes a face about squirrel meat and let him take the lead when it comes to the tour.

"Garden is that way," he says, pointing to the eastern side of the building. "Traps are around the tree line. There's a river that comes through the woods to feed the lake, and there's mushrooms for foraging." He flashes Joel a cackling grin. "I know, not something most people want to eat these days. but like I said. They made me one of their own."

Joel huffs out a chuckle and shakes his head. Only Dieter could make a joke like that work. “I get it.” He rolls his eyes and looks over at where Ellie is staring at him like he’s grown a second head.

"Don't worry about it," you advise, nudging Ellie a little and smiling at your husband's ridiculous joke. "The point is, we do okay for food. It's not exactly a farm or anything, but there are a lot worse places we could have gotten stuck."

“All you need is a pen for animals.” Joel murmurs, looking out over the water and the low hanging sun. “It seems like very few infected come through here?”

"Sometimes wanderers come through. Ones that get separated from the hive. Or travelers passing through the area." Dieter grins again, but he shrugs this time. "You'd be surprised how many people still get star struck when they recognize me. Usually better than a gun for getting people to back off."

“I still can’t believe you know Dieter Fucking Bravo!” Ellie crows, shaking her head in amazement. “Like— how?”

"I have to ask," you look over at Ellie on your other side and tilt your head curiously. "How do you even know who he is? You were born after the Outbreak."

“FEDRA school I was at had his movies.” She shrugs like it was simple. “We were allowed to watch them sometimes. Apparently the dean was a big fan or some shit.”

"So you've seen more of my movies than I have." Dieter observes, unhooking the sunglasses from the front of his worn t-shirt and sliding them on his face with pride. "Never watch your own shit, kid. Not that they make movies anymore. But like...in life."

“Is it true you’ve done porn?” Ellie asks, tilting her head at Dieter. “There’s a rumor that the dean would give anything to have a sex movie of you.”

 “Ellie!” Joel hisses, mortified at the question and the manners of his charge.

"Nah." The question barely phases Dieter and he brushes it away like she had asked him if he preferred hamburgers or hotdogs. He does get a kick out of Joel's shock, though, considering he was the first other person whoever made him cum. "Not that got leaked anyway," he jokes to Ellie, looking at her from over his sunglasses. "Only people seeing my junk are gonna be the ones I choose specifically." Granted that list is extremely long, but he had still made the decision each time.

“Obviously a wise policy.” Ellie intones seriously, glancing at Joel. “How do you know each other?” She demands, finding it completely cool that she’s met someone she saw on the shitty projector at school. It’s surreal and intriguing how the biggest asshole she knows seems to be on friendly terms with him.

"We went to school together." Dieter knocks into Joel's shoulder by accident as he tries to walk backward to face Ellie and play tour guide and grin at the sun all at once. "Middle and high school. Worst years of my fuckin' life if not for this asshole." His grin turns to Joel full force, and he hears you stifle a giggle, knowing he doesn't mean asshole in the least.

“Did he get all gruff and puff up at you?” Ellie squares her shoulder and holds her arms out to make herself appear broader as she gives an exaggerated ‘Joel’ expression. “You’re a pain in my goddamn ass, you know that?” She huffs out gruffly, mimicking Joel. “Stop talking. Go to sleep.” She cackles at her own impression and shoots Joel a grin, knowing he won’t do anything but roll his eyes and huff under his breath.

"Sort of." The lopsided expression on Dieter's face is soft when he turns his head to look at Joel. "More like...You're a pain in my goddamn ass. Don't be such an idiot. Help me finish my homework." His imitation of Joel is more like an imitation of Ellie's imitation, making it all the more ridiculous and worth laughing about.

“You were being an idiot.” Joel insists, rolling his eyes even though he can’t quite stop the grin that slips through his serious facade. “And you were better at the English shit. You had to help me so we could do other things.”

"Other things?" Ellie waggles her eyebrows the way she had seen Dieter do, thinking it was hilarious even the first time he did it. "Joel, were you bad?" The question is nothing short of gleeful, like she's relishing every second of insight into his former life.

Joel rolls his eyes and scoffs. “Yeah.” He tells her. “We were totally bad.” They had actually been pretty good kids now that he was looking back, but at the time, it was about sex and keeping Dieter from getting his ass beaten.

"Did you like...beat people up and stuff?" Since Ellie's only frame of reference for pre-Outbreak high school is books and movies, she goes straight to what she knows from those. "Sneak out behind the building to smoke cigarettes?" She gasps excitedly. "Did you smoke pot?!"

“I only beat up people who fucked with Dieter, or my brother.” Joel admits. “And of course we smoked pot.” He huffs, pointing at Dieter. “You don’t think this asshole didn’t do drugs in high school?”

Dieter's delighted chuckle makes Ellie crow and she playfully punches Joel in the arm as the group makes their way around to the front of the boat house. "I knew you used to be cool. Oh man – oh man, Dieter, I need stories. Seriously!"

“Who says I’m not cool now?” Joel demands gruffly, fully aware that Ellie thinks he’s lame. Even Sarah would think he’s lame if she were alive.

"Dude." Ellie's gaze could cut glass when she looks over at him. "I've spent every day for months with you. I know cool. You're not cool."

“You know cool, huh?” Joel snorts and rolls his eyes. “Just because I’m trying to keep your ass alive, I’m not cool.”

"'Fraid I have to argue with that." Dieter's lazy smile is pointed at Joel again. "But Joel Miller was very fucking cool. Guess I must have stolen it all away over time." Sucked it out through his cock is the undertone of the comment, but he doubts the kid gets that.

Joel chuckles, not missing the hot glance that Dieter is sending him. “Your wife.” He reminds the actor quietly.

"Knows all about it," you laugh, dismissing it and hustling Ellie past the two men into the boat house to get her a life jacket and a reel.

Joel slows down, trying to figure out if you are talking about the past or the very obvious hints Dieter seems to be dropping. Or maybe he’s just reading too much into it.

"Joel!" When you toss his name over your shoulder from inside the boathouse you can't exactly see where he's gone to. "You gonna join us?"

“Yeah— uh, coming!” Joel jogs slightly to catch up, wondering where the hell Dieter had found a woman like you.

It doesn't take too long to get suited up, and the four of you pull the lone rowboat out of the boathouse to bring down to the lakeside. It's a little too heavy for just you and Dieter to manage so you haven't used it in years, but you've kept it clean just in case. For the four of you it's perfect, and gives you plenty of space to collect any fish you catch.

Joel chuckles, obviously sensing he’s being put to work and he takes the oars after he helps you drag it into the water. “Don’t flip the boat.” He warns Ellie as the three of you climb into it. “Or you’ll sleep in wet clothes.”

“She wouldn’t make me.” Ellie points a thumb in your direction. “Turns out your friends are the cool ones, I guess.”

“Smart ass.” Joel grunts before he starts to row out onto the lake once everyone is situated in the boat.

It takes a little while for Ellie to get the hang of fishing, but it’s a generally quiet activity with a lot of long waiting periods involved, so conversation turns over again and again while the four of you sit together. Ellie tells you and Dieter about her school and Boston, Joel grunts his agreement or disagreement, Dieter tells a story that he realizes halfway through probably wasn’t appropriate, and you finish up with a censored version of the rest of the events. It’s a good system, honestly, and the four of you find yourselves laughing in between catching a few medium-to-smaller sized fish. It doesn’t matter what they are, you’ll eat them no matter what, but at least they all look clear-eyed and healthy when you pull them up into the boat.

“The sun’s about gone.” Joel observes, handing his pole to Ellie and picking up the oars. “Ready to go back?” This is your area and you will know if it’s safe or not to be out past sundown.

“Yeah, I think we have more than enough for tonight.” There’s more than one fish per person, which is great, and if you don’t eat it all tonight you’ll salt some of it to preserve for a night in the future. Sometimes you swear the spirits of pioneer women are out here whispering secrets in your ears because you certainly didn’t fucking know how to preserve fish before the world ended.

 “Great! I’m fucking starving!” Ellie chortles, making Joel puff.

 “Ellie! Watch your goddamn language.” He pants out as he rows back to shore.

Dieter snorts, knowing full well how much Joel swears himself, and nudges his friend. “When did you get so prim?” He teases.

“She’s a kid.” He points out, knowing that his own language was bad at that age but he hadn’t cursed around adults.

“Mmhmm.” Dieter laughs the way only Dieter can - slightly delirious and fully amused. “Whatever you say, Joely.”

The only reason Joel doesn’t shoot Dieter a finger is because his hands are busy. “Kiss my ass, Black.” Dieter’s real last name comes off his tongue naturally.

“Whooooooooooa!” Ellie inhales like she’s swallowing a tornado, eyes wide, and then doubles over in cackling laughter. “I fucking love it here.” She declares when she gasps for air again.

Joel chuckles at her, aware that she’s not had a whole lot of fun lately and deserves to enjoy it. If it weren’t for the need to find Tommy, he would consider staying here. “Easy, you’ll fart if you laugh so hard.” He drolls.

Ellie snorts at that and Dieter chuckles, squeezing your knee as you shake your head and laugh beside him. “I’ll heat some extra water so you guys can take baths,” you promise them, figuring that a little relaxation would do them both good. “Dieter can grab fresh clothes for Joel and I’ll find some for Ellie.”

 “We can help.” Joel offers. “I don’t want to create extra work for you.” He can’t imagine Dieter is incredibly helpful on the best of days with it just being the two of you.

“It’s been a while since we had guests.” You shrug, but nod in acceptance of the offer. “Actually, it’s been so long that I can’t even remember the last time I thought of anyone as a guest.”

“It’s so cool to live in a hotel like this.” Ellie huffs. “This is better than your sheep farm fantasy, Joel.”

“Sheep farm fantasy?” Dieter almost chokes. “What the hell is she talking about?”

“Jesus,” Joel rolls his eyes. “Nothing like that. I just said that if I could do anything after this trip, I would have a little ranch with sheep or something.”

“Anything?” Another guffaw falls from Dieter’s lips and he throws his head back in amusement. “Anything in the world and you choose sheep rancher? What happened to Joel Miller, Badass Rockstar?” In their adolescent dreams of fame and fortune, Joel always dreamt of being a singer. He would hum Dieter to sleep on his worst nights and they would sneak into the rock shows that Austin had to offer on the best nights.

“Holy shit, Joel.” Ellie looks both surprised and impressed. “You sing?”

Joel shrugs but Dieter isn’t done telling his secrets. “He sings and plays both guitar and piano.” His former lover boasts. “He loves music.”

“Suddenly I regret not being able to tune the baby grand in the ballroom.” When the rowboat softly bumps the shore, you gather up the bucket full of fish at your feet. “Don’t worry, Joel,” you offer him an olive branch even though you’re curious. “We won’t make you put on a floor show.”

Joel snorts. “It’s been a long time since I’ve had a piano in front of me.” He admits, although he wouldn’t mind having a guitar to play.

"It sounds like a dying cat no matter which key you hit." Dieter giggles, knowing full well that it is like the sound of nails on a chalkboard to your ears. He tinkers with it to annoy you sometimes.

“You couldn’t play to save your life.” Joel huffs at Dieter, remembering the times he had tried to teach him how to play. “Don’t tell me you tortured your wife with your horrible playing?”

"Mayyyyyybe." His former lover grins unapologetically. "I'm shit with music and always have been."

 "Which makes it all the more hilarious that the movie he was filming here had him playing a musician." You had found it endlessly hilarious when they were courting Dieter for the role, knowing full well that they would have to dub his vocals.

“Jesus Christ.” Joel winces. “I’m glad that one didn’t make it out. I would have such a hard time sitting through that one.”

"Oh, it wasn't actually going to be me singing." Grabbing the bucket from your hand and putting out his arm to help you out of the boat, Dieter sighs dramatically at Joel's teasing. "They had some American Idol runner up locked into a contract to sing for me. Be glad for that guy that he didn't have to listen to me garbling along when he did the dubbing."

“Poor bastard.” Joel chuckles and sends Dieter an indulgent grin. “I’ve listened to you singing too many nights when you were staying over.”

"Awwe, you guys did sleepovers?" Ellie pops out of the boat with little help, flashing Joel a shit-eating grin. "Did you guys like...stay up all night gossiping and painting your nails?" She just can't imagine a fun, young Joel being a normal teenager. It baffles her mind, so obviously she has to joke about it.

“Oh totally.” Joel imitates a valley girl voice. “We did facials and all that.” He knows Dieter will giggle at the double entendre built into that joke. Grinning at Ellie as her eyes widen.

"Joel was infamous for his facials." Dieter almost doubles over, barely able to get the words out for laughing. "Coverage. Good, good coverage."

“Jesus Christ.” Joel can’t help but crack up as well, reaching out and slapping Dieter’s back as he joins him in the hysterical laughter.

"I don't get it." Ellie looks to you for clarification but you just shake your head and nod for her to follow you back up to the hotel.

 "Don't worry about it, El," you tell her, stifling your own laughter much better than the men had. "It's a guy thing."

It takes a few minutes for them to calm down, both of them grinning when they stop laughing. “Fuck it’s good to see you.” Joel tells Dieter breathlessly.

"You too, baby." The last word is quiet. Soft and sweet, and more than a little nostalgic when Dieter smiles much more shyly at Joel.

Joel doesn’t give a shit if Ellie sees, but he still checks to make sure that you and the girl have gone inside and when he sees the coast is clear, he grabs Dieter’s shirt and pulls him close. Pressing his lips to Dieter’s for the first kiss in nearly thirty years.

It would have been a surprise if Dieter didn't still remember how to push every single one of Joel's buttons, so instead it's sloppy and enthusiastic. Dieter grins against Joel's lips, feeling victorious and carefree, which is no mean feat in a world so laden with worries. He happily holds on for however long Joel allows, humming to himself and gripping his former lover's hips in both hands to keep him close.

It’s been so goddamn long since Joel has felt this sense of wonder. Clinging to it just like he clings to Dieter as he starts to deepen the kiss. He knows he’s married but from what he can tell, you don’t mind.

Feeling things rush back to him - nostalgia and the tinted memories of adolescence make everything feel more exciting and more romantic by nature - Dieter moans softly when Joel leans into the moment and lets the older man lick into his mouth as easily as breathing. It doesn't matter how long the moment goes on for, he knows that you will understand. Mostly because there is a very important fact that Dieter hasn't mentioned yet to Joel.

It’s only when Joel has to come up for air that he pulls away from Dieter. Nearly confused as to where he is as he comes back to reality. “Shit.” He groans softly. “I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have—”

"Don't be stupid." Dieter chides, sounding remarkably like his younger self for a moment. "She won't care. I mean...she might care that she didn't get to watch, but that's it."

“Still like to show off, huh?” Dieter has always been a little bit of a showy shit, and it’s nice to know that some things haven’t changed.

"I went to Hollywood." The dramatic exasperation in his voice is just for show, making Dieter giggle in response. "Plus, she likes to watch. And be watched. We're pretty evenly matched, to be honest."

“That’s—that’s good.” There hadn’t been a huge dramatic break up. No harsh words or bitter feelings. Hell, no one had known Dieter and Joel were together. But there’s always been a slight regret in not knowing what happened to his old lover. Wondering sometimes what had happened to the first romantic love he had ever had. So it’s good to find out that he’s been happy. Joel gives Dieter a smile and nods. “Really good.”

"No pouting," he chides, shaking his head to make his maniac curls fly in every direction. The last thing Dieter wants is a bummed-out Joel. He's never liked Joel upset. Even thinking about it sucked. "When I said you should stay, I meant you should have fun."

“I don’t…understand.” Joel’s brow wrinkles in confusion, frowning as he stares at his former lover.

"Baby..." Dieter smirks, smacking a kiss on Joel's cheek. "You made the prenup." To him, it is the ultimate compliment. That he had kept Joel in his heart and mind for decades. "You're my freebie."

“Your…freebie….” Again, confusion clouds his face for a moment before he finally clinks. “Oh…oh… really?” He blinks and looks around as if the hotel would provide an answer. “A hall pass, for me?”

“Why would I waste it on a guy that wouldn’t live up to you?” Dieter shrugs like it’s the most logical thing in the world. “You don’t have to. If you have somebody or would feel weird about it. But considering you just kissed me?” He grins devilishly. “She let me share her freebie, so I’m sure she’d like to share you, too.”

 “Jesus, Dee.” Joel can’t even deny that the idea is one that makes his cock twitch in his jeans. “We used to talk about that.” Two bisexual boys fucking obviously talked about the girls they liked and how they would like to share one. “Was her freebie a guy or girl?” He asks curiously.

 “Girl.” And Dieter still gets a hell of a thrill thinking about it, through the haze of a twenty-year-old memory. “Fuck if I can remember her name now. My memory’s gone to shit. Some bendy as fuck Broadway actress that I ended up actually doing a film with. She was ecstatic.”

 “So you’ve only fucked one other person other than your wife in twenty years?” He’s doubtful, but who knows.

 “Nah.” That sounds ridiculous even to Dieter, though he does love that Joel is so skeptical. He always knew him best of anyone. “The others were special circumstances. Like the one woman who was traveling through and stayed with us for about a month. She decided she’d rather stay warm and we were kinda bored with each other at the time. Or the guy who got separated from his group and ended up here for a week or two about…six years ago? Seven years ago? I dunno. He just wanted to fuck a movie star and pretend things were the way they used to be. He only wanted her to watch. But you?” He raises both eyebrows clear above his sunglasses. “You still hold the record for prettiest cock I’ve ever fucked. And…” There is a flash – just a flash – where the mask slips and Dieter shrugs. “You’re you.”

 “I’m…me…” Joel puts his hands on his hips and looks around for a second as he thinks. He wants to, badly. “I want to hear it from her.” He decides. “And I want to—to have you both.” He steps closer and bites his lip. “You— there hasn’t been another man since you, Dee.” He confesses softly.

 Dieter isn’t one to hesitate when something he wants is within reach, and right now Joel is two inches away, so he grabs right onto the front of his shirt and tugs him in, pressing his lips hard against Joel’s. “Sentimental bastard,” he teases. “And I know she’ll say yes. Caught her checking out your ass in the boathouse.”

 “Shut the fuck up.” Few would ever mistake the growl as nothing but angry, but Dieter just grins at him, knowing that he’s embarrassed. For as popular as Joel had been in school, he hadn’t been assertive when it came to relationships until he was in them.

 The leering grin on Dieter’s face is so fucking pleased that he lets out a manic little giggle. “Oh yeah,” he looks very pleased with himself - or perhaps with you. “Silver Fox works for you.”

 Joel rolls his eyes but he can feel his cock harden. “So what have you imagined?” He asks quietly. “Since I’m your pass?”

“It would be easier to tell you what I haven’t imagined.” The lack of a creative mind was never Dieter’s problem, and with the promise of bringing fantasy to reality tantalizingly close he feels that giddiness of a kid about to get a mountain of presents for his birthday. “Depends on whether you just want to fuck me, or if you want to fuck my wife, too.” His eyebrows waggle again in that signature suggestive way. “Good thing you’re staying for a few days.”

“If the offer is there…” Joel wouldn’t turn down a chance to touch either one of you, especially if it was a shared experience and want.

“Good.” That’s all Dieter needs to hear, and he reaches out and strokes his thumb over Joel’s hip to turn him toward the hotel. “We’re going to have a very fun conversation after dinner.”

“Any conversation with you is always interesting.” Joel huffs, remembering the off the wall comments that would come out of his mouth.

“There you two are.” When Dieter and Joel stroll into the kitchen they look simultaneously more relaxed and excitable, and you make a mental note to ask Dieter what happened outside after Ellie is out of earshot. Right now she’s sitting five feet away peeling vegetables. “Beginning to think you ran off on us.”

“Nahhhhh.” Dieter winks at you. “You know I would never leave you.” He comes over to stand behind you and kisses the back of your neck. “I was showing Joel the star you claim is a satellite.”

“There’s a satellite out there?” Ellie’s seemingly perpetual state of excitement spikes again.

"Hundreds of them." Joel nods. "Driftin' around up there, unused anymore." He doubts any country has retained enough of a presence to use their satellites, but who knows considering communications were cut almost from the start. You only know what FEDRA wanted you to, and that wasn't much.

“Cooooool.” It’s cooler than peeling potatoes, anyway, and that’s what she’s doing right now.

 “It makes the world a little more fun to think something ordinary like a star might be something extraordinary like a still working satellite or a UFO,” you shrug your shoulders but not enough to deter Dieter from showering you in those little bits of affection he loves to give. “It’s my make believe.”

"The aliens are avoiding this planet like the plague." Joel snorts, moving over to where the fish are sitting in the sink and pulls out his knife to clean them.

“As they fucking should.” Dieter agrees without an ounce of irony.

“Dee?” Nudging your husband slightly, you can’t help but sigh a little. He’s too fucking affectionate for his own good. It’s part of how you fell for him. “Will you bring in some firewood for the stove, baby?” The old gas lines did nothing now, but through some crafty tinkering, the ovens and stones in the big hotel kitchen had been converted into wood burning operations.

"Sure." Dieter bobbles his head and looks around the kitchen with a grin. "It's like a family dinner." He observes before he darts out the door to get the wood from the pile.

“Something that most of us haven’t had in a very long time.” It hits your own nostalgia in a very different way than seeing Joel hits for Dieter, but still gives you some nice feelings of warm and fuzzy along with him.

Joel grunts, not commenting on that as he slices the fish open to clean them out. "So tell me how you met Dieter?" He asks, glancing over at you before looking back down at his work.

“I was his personal assistant. His manager pulled me out of a stack of a hundred resumes of people clawing to get to work in Hollywood.” That much of what Dieter had said earlier was true. “It was crazy hard work, but I built my life around him. It kind of snuck up on me that I’d fallen in love with him in the process.”

“It’s good though. Dieter’s always been…easy to care about when you peel through the layers of bullshit.” Joel knows exactly the trauma that had forged the actor's egocentric ways and he doesn’t blame him. Never did.

“He’s genuine. Which people don’t expect.” It’s nice to be able to talk to someone who knows the real Dieter from years ago. The unvarnished, unmasked version of him that is adoring and loyal and full of life. Hollywood had made him jaded and paranoid. Well, the drugs didn’t help that last part. “He’ll always tell you the truth to your face, and it can come across badly if you’re expecting him to schmooze and be a fake nice guy like a lot of other actors.”

“No, I can’t imagine that would go over well.” Joel snorts, although he was pretty much the same way. “It seems like you complement each other very well.”

“I soften his rough edges and he makes me more bold.” The two of you have developed a whole world all your own at this point, as you’re sure a lot of people around the world have. You can’t be the only ones who are isolated like this. “I'm glad to finally meet you, though. He’s always spoken very fondly of you.”

“I can’t imagine why.” Joel snorts, shaking his head in amusement over what Dieter had probably told you. There were times Dieter had no filter, especially when he was around people he trusted.

“You believed in him.” It’s not like you’re going to tell Joel in front of the kid that Dieter had told you explicit details of their sex life. You’re honest, not tactless. “And you supported him. I know you were young, but having that support when you’re that age is vital.”

“What did he need support over?” Ellie scoffs, still peeling her potatoes and glancing over at you with a curious look. “There’s something you’re not saying.”

“It wasn’t easy for him, being out of the closet in Texas back then.” It’s not something Dieter has ever hidden, so you know he won’t mind if you tell Ellie. You’re just careful to tiptoe around Joel’s role in the whole thing. “He was a target for every kind of awful person. But Joel protected him.”

“What, where you guys like secretly dating or something?” You couldn’t mean gay because obviously you wouldn’t be married to Dieter if he was. So you must mean bisexual. She eyes Joel as he stands at the sink.

 Joel considers lying to her for a second, maybe two. Simply because she would be an annoying shit about asking questions. But the only regret he had about being with Dieter was that he hadn’t been open with it. Had kept it quiet. He doesn’t even look over his shoulder when he answers. “What of it?”

“You dick!” Ellie’s jaw drops and she practically rockets out of her seat to lean across the counter that she’s been sitting at. “You never told me that!” There’s no malice in it, not really, but a fair amount of surprise as she processes this puzzle piece of information.

Joel chuckles and turns to stare at her. “The fuck you expect, kid? Introduce myself and tell you how I swing?” He had damn near choked when she had found Bill’s dirty magazine. He glances over at you. “It’s not a secret, just not…common knowledge, ya know?”

“Yeah, I know.” The words are so much more solemn than you or Joel expect, and the expression in Ellie’s eyes is so much darker when she looks between you. “It just…it would’ve been easier…to be myself.” She murmurs, suddenly looking away from both of you. “If I had known, ya known? Then I wouldn’t have been all weird about the magazine or whatever. Cause fuck knows I don’t want to look at that shit.” It seems like the longest time that she pauses, gulping down fear, before she looks up again. “I’m fucking gay, Joel. We could’ve like…be honest with each other a lot earlier.”

“Shit kiddo.” Joel puts the fish down and wipes his hands on a towel as he turns and settles his hip on the sink, giving her his full attention. “You could have always been yourself around me.” He tells her gruffly. “Don’t judge cargo.” He sends her a small smirk, remembering the conversation in the truck later on that day. Although his feelings for the girl had changed since then. “I understand though. Dieter got his ass beat for liking boys and girls and I fucking hated it. Kicked their asses every fucking time I could. You can’t help who you love.”

“You wouldn’t have been the first asshole to drop a kid on the side of the road somewhere for being queer.” She contends, even though the water in her eyes has softened her expression measurably.

“All the shit I’ve done…” Joel shakes his head. “Never would have done that.” He promises, reaching out to ruffle her hair before he remembers they are still fishy and stops himself. “Any other questions?”

“Are you mad that I threw that dirty magazine out the window before you got to look at it?” Ellie asks, mischievous mood restored and eyebrows waggling.

Joel frowns at her. “Asshole,” he huffs, reaching out with his fishy hand on purpose this time to make Ellie shriek and duck away. “No, they weren’t my type.” He grunts. “Dieter is.”

“Dieter is what?” As if on cue, the man re-emerges in the doorway with a bucket full of split wood and looks around curiously at the mention of his name.

“Of course he comes when he hears his name.” Joel snorts, smirking at the man in question. “My type.” He clarifies, nodding towards Ellie. “She asked if we dated in high school.”

“I wondered if she would figure it out. Smart kid.” The grin that Dieter shoots her is almost proud. “Yeah. He, uh…he was my first relationship.”

“And you were…okay…with being a secret?” There’s no judgment in her tone, just raw curiosity. Being able to talk about this feels amazing, especially with adults and not the assholes she had gone to school with. She gets it, kids are dicks no matter when it is.

“We fought about it sometimes.” It’s a lot for Dieter to admit, especially to the kid, but he likes her. He likes her and she’s a straight shooter. Sassy like he wishes he had been brave enough to be at her age. “But it wasn’t about shame. It was about survival.”

"That's one of my regrets." Joel admits, looking down at his hands and sighing slightly. "That I wasn't more assertive. But we thought I would be kicked off the team and then I couldn't protect Dieter like I had been. But I should have just not given a fuck."

“You would have ended up disowned, too.” Dieter points out, shaking his head as he loads firewood into the stove. When Ellie makes a noise of confusion, he shrugs. “My old man didn’t want a fa—a queer kid — staining the family name. The second I graduated high school I was on my own.”

"At least you could stay with us over the summer until college started." It had been the last summer that Joel and Dieter had together. He had taken his scholarship to USC and he hadn't come back for a long time. Until Joel had been with Amber. "And your old man was nothing but a drunk asshole. Fuck him."

“My point is that if you had come out, we both would have been out on our asses.” He rolls his eyes at Joel as though it were obvious. “And you would have hated LA. So don’t say you would’ve just come with me and been okay.”

Joel feels the guilt of the other secret that he had kept. "Yeah, I know...." He swallows and shrugs his shoulders. "I wouldn't have had - uh, her and I can't imagine that." He hadn't ever told Ellie about Sarah and he would prefer not to.

“It’s okay.” Dieter shakes his head and stands up. Brushing his hands off is just a motion to take up space before he drags the bin of wood a few feet away. “We don’t need to get into it. Just…” he sighs and looks to Ellie. “Nobody here is straight, kid. So don’t worry about it.”

"Amber knew." Joel blurts out, unsure of why he is getting into it more when Dieter just gave him an out. "I told her...before we saw you, that last time." He takes a breath. "She didn't take it well."

“Jesus.” Dieter’s face draws long, staring at Joel when his head whips around. “She—she acted like she had barely ever heard of me.” It had actually fucked him up pretty badly for a little while. Thinking that he had meant so little to Joel that he hadn't even told his wife that they were friends? It had wrecked him.

"No." Joel shakes his head. "She— she couldn't handle the fact that I had been with you – that I was bisexual. It was 'immoral' according to her." He scowls. "After...six months after I saw you last, she just packed up and was ready to leave by the time I got home from work. Told me she couldn't be with me anymore...and left us."

“Holy shit.” For a second it’s not quite clear who’s spoken, but you reach out slowly to put your hand on Ellie’s shoulder. “C’mon,” you murmur quietly, nodding toward the door. Joel and Dieter clearly need some privacy.

“I didn’t – I’m sorry that I—” He doesn’t know what he’s sorry for. He doesn’t regret his relationship with Dieter. He loved him, despite never saying the words out loud. “I would have never been with her to begin with if I had known she was like that.” You and the girl are out of the room. “She left me to raise Sarah on my own.”

“What are you sorry for?” Dieter sputters, immediately moving to Joel like a magnet. His instinct is to hold him. To offer comfort. But he’s not sure if it’s wanted. “The fucking fact of me ruined your marriage…I’m sorry.”

“Fuck her.” Joel hisses, shaking his head. “She couldn’t accept me for who I was, accept the first person I loved. I— no, you have nothing to be sorry for.”

“What did you just say?” Jaw slackened and eyes wide, Dieter stares. Those were not the words he expected to hear out of Joel’s mouth.

“What?” Joel frowns. “Fuck her? You know I don’t put up with small minded bigots. No matter who they are.”

“No, not that.” Dieter flails out of pure confusion. “You just — you said you loved me.”

“Of fucking course I loved you.” Joel growls, looking at Dieter in surprise. “You knew how I felt…didn’t you?”

“I…” He had thought so. Hoped so. But never knew absolutely or for sure. Over the years he had alternately convinced himself that Joel had felt the same or that he had completely exaggerated the way his first boyfriend felt about him. It all depended on how he was feeling about his other relationships at the time. “I was never sure.” He admits finally, feeling his shoulders sag under the weight of actually hearing the words. “You never said.”

This time it’s Joel that moves, reaching out and grabbing Dieter by the back of the neck and hauling him close to kiss him. Similar to the same way he had first kissed him in the boy’s bathroom so many years ago. Except this time, he doesn’t pull away almost immediately. Instead, he groans against his lips.

There’s something so volatile in the moment that Dieter doesn’t move at first. He’s frozen with the fear that if he so much as thinks the wrong thought that it will all disappear. It’s amazing that the spark between them doesn’t seem to have faded - or at least the attraction is very obviously still there. But that the emotion remains? That much feels like a miracle. Or maybe, like he debated so much years ago, maybe the love he still feels is entirely one sided.

Joel pulls away and shuffles slightly, aware that there was no response from Dieter despite the kiss they had shared earlier. “You never forget your first love.” He adds awkwardly. “At least I don’t.”

“I forget a lot of shit.” Dieter half-chuckles at himself, huffing a little as he presses into Joel’s space again. “But not the important things. And never you.”

“I—I should have said it.” Joel admits quietly. “Shoulda told you.” All of his regret centers around Dieter and Sarah but he could try to set things right with one of them.

“Better late than never.” Having Joel back within his grasp for even just a little while means more to Dieter than he could possibly express, and he pulls the man close now to rest his forehead against Joel’s shoulder with a sigh. “Still means more than you know.”

Joel nods, wrapping his arm around Dieter for a moment before he pulls back. “It’s good to see you.” He huffs.

“You do have a soft spot.” Dieter laughs, leaning into the warmth of Joel’s arms. “Dredging up all this old shit and letting the kid know who you were? And you still missed me.” He won’t claim that it doesn’t make him happy, or feed that part of him that still struggles with self doubt even though it’s been twenty years since the public eye stopped caring about celebrities for very good reason. The only person’s opinion he’s ever held as high as Joel’s is yours.

“Yeah, shut up.” He grumbles, even though he shoots Dieter a grin. “Get the damn fire started so we can eat sometime in the next few days.”

“You misssed me.” Dieter singsongs, smacking a kiss on Joel’s cheek before pulling away. It’s better that the moment breaks now. That he doesn’t keep pushing. That he doesn’t force Joel to push him away. Because that would hurt far, far worse than years of wondering had.

“Surprised you survived.” Joel admits, slightly choked up about finding out that his fears had been unfounded. Happy that the bright star of his childhood still shone.

Dieter shakes his head and laughs, knowing that Joel has every reason to be surprised. “Wouldn’t have without her.” He can admit to that easily. You have been keeping him afloat since the day you met. “She’s…honestly, the only person I ever loved as much as you.”

“I’m glad you found her.” Of that Joel can be completely sure of. Dieter always had a startling lack of self-preservation when it came to life skills. “Of course you would live in a hotel at the end of the world.” He had always dreamed of living in a hotel and traveling the world when they were younger.

“She thought that…that if we went to a QZ, that FEDRA would make me a figurehead.” It wasn’t too far off, really. It had happened to other people in the public eye and there was no reason they couldn’t have done it to Dieter as well. “Fuck the government in the first place, but trying to make me a pawn? We were better off here.”

“Yeah, here is better.” He won’t disagree with that, FEDRAs ironclad fist had chaffed even though Joel had done what he wanted for the most part. “It’s good you stayed here.”

“It’s getting harder.” The stove is stubborn but he gets it lit and stands back again. “Fewer fish, less rain, bad crop seasons. The earth is healing but at the same time it’s not.” He snorts. “I feel like I’m prepping for a production of The Crucible.”

Joel chuckles, but he knows that resources are getting harder to find. “I’m going to Wyoming. It’s where I last heard from Tommy.” He offers.

 “Yeah.” Dieter’s head bobs in response. “And to drop off the girl, right?” As if Joel could let her go on her own. Dieter knows him better than that.

 “Yeah— she’s important to the Fireflies. They have some lab and can make a cure.” Joel doesn’t know anything about the science, but it would be nice for the fucking world to be able to be rebuilt.

“Well…I hope it all goes well.” It will be a good thing for the world, if it works. But Dieter’s life won’t really change that much. Isolation has kept the two of you reasonably safe even if it is difficult.

“Have you ever thought of what you’ll do when supplies get low?” Joel asks quietly, wondering if you’ve come up with some plan.

“We always assumed there would be a day when we would have to move on.” Dieter isn’t completely useless in the kitchen and he picks up peeling the last potato that Ellie had left on the cutting board. “At this point I was starting to wonder if things would hold out until one of us was too old or sick to travel, but it’s not looking that way.”

“The road is dangerous.” Joel admits, going back to cleaning the fish. “And there is safety in numbers.” He hedges on offering them a place, feeling you might not be ready to leave the sanctuary of your home. “More eyes to watch for danger.”

“Or more people to be loud and attract attention.” Dieter shrugs, knowing he isn’t exactly the world’s most subtle or graceful human being. “People like you and her…you’re survivors. Hell, I bet even the kid could kick my ass if push came to shove.” When he shrugs again he’s looking down, mouth shut and lip bitten as if that’s the key to keeping it that way. To keeping in the thought that hurts too much to say.

“Doesn’t mean you’re weak.” Joel reasons. “Never have been. You’ve always been stronger than me.”

“Not up here.” Tapping his head for effect makes Dieter shrug again. A helpless motion if ever there was one. “Clever is what keeps people alive these days. Clever and quick. Like you, and her, and the kid.”

One of Dieter’s faults was that never truly believed he was good enough. All of his formative years being treated like shit and then worse when his father discovered his sexuality had done a number on his self-esteem. “You’re clever enough to align yourself with people who care about you. Who will do anything to ensure you survive.” He offers instead of arguing a point Dieter wouldn’t believe. “And I bet you’d do anything to protect your wife.”

“I’d die for her.” There is no question of hesitation in that for him. Just like there is no question that he would still die for Joel.

“It takes bravery, cleverness to understand that, even more so to mean it.” Joel tells him. “Stop selling yourself short, Black.”

“If you ever write an inspirational monologue, I’ll be sure to read it over the radio for you.” He huffs, unwilling to take the compliment. “But you’ll have to find a radio first. We don’t have one. Fuckin’ things fry your brain.”

Joel chuckles and rolls his eyes. “Better than the fungus.” He banters, finishing up the fish and washing his hands in a small bowl of water. “Do you have salt?”

“Cupboard behind you.” Some things were still in abundance, thankfully. The hotel had had recent food delivery when the Outbreak hit, and whole pallets of spices had been stocked in the kitchen.

Joel hums as he looks through the spices available. “Mind if I use a few of these?” He asks, looking over his shoulder. When Dieter shakes his head, Joel picks out a few that he’s sure will make the fish taste incredible and brings them over to the table. “You remember the shit we used to cook?” He chuckles, shaking his head.

“Calling it cooking is generous. I’m surprised Tommy survived some of the shit we made.” When Joel’s parents would be gone and Dieter would stay over, there was often no cash for pizza or fast food, but a fridge full of ingredients that required cooking. Cooking that they had not been very good at.

“At least it means that we can stomach the shit we have to eat now.” Joel laughs. “Although heartburn is a bitch now.”

“Right?” It’s a son of a bitch and Dieter groans. “Not like we’re eating pizza or lasagna or anything like that, though. I hate to think it could be worse.”

“Not without antacids.” Joel huffs. “We’re getting fuckin’ old.” He wouldn’t ever say it like that around the kid, but he’s feeling his age. “I’m 56 fuckin’ years old.”

“It stopped mattering twenty years ago.” The peeled potatoes need to be diced and Dieter hunts down a knife to keep working. “The fact that we’re still alive is either a miracle or a punishment.”

“Probably a little of both.” Joel carefully seasons the fish and sighs. “Although I can’t believe that you are fucking sober 20 years.”

“It’s not like I’m not trying.” Dieter scoffs. “You do remember the words bathtub moonshine, don’t you?”

“I meant drugs.” Joel snorts. “Ironic since I was a supplier in the QZ.”

“Other people still have drugs?!” The look on Dieter’s face is absolutely scandalized, like it’s his birthday and someone just told him he could never have presents ever again. “It’s been twenty years! Are you telling me the drug trade survived and I’ve been out here using my imagination like a chump?”

“Traded Hydros for ration cards with the FEDRA guards.” Joel can’t help but smirk at the horror on his former lover’s face. It was very cute. Every time he got a supply in, he had thought about Dieter.

“Real stuff?” He asks and crumples onto a stool when Joel nods yes. “What a waste. I would’ve given you ration cards and a blow job.”

Fuck. Joel’s eyes widen slightly and his cock twitches in his jeans. He doubts Dieter had lost any talent in that smart mouth of his, although he knows he’s rusty in the dick sucking department. “Shit.” He groans. “You would have gotten them for free.”

That just makes his former lover smirk and throw him a wink across the counter. “And you still would’ve gotten your dick sucked.”

“Who’s to say I didn’t get my dick sucked anyway?” Joel teases. Dieter hasn’t been celibate; he’s been married so it’s not like he hasn’t gotten his fair share of sex.

“I’m sure you have.” After all, he had been honest when he said the silver fox look worked for Joel. He was always handsome, and clearly aging didn’t hurt his looks at all. “It would be a damn shame if you didn’t. I’m just saying I would have been the one doing it.”

“You could never resist.” He couldn’t remember how many times he woke up with his dick in Dieter’s mouth when he spent the night. Not that he minded.

Dieter shrugs unapologetically. “It’s a good dick.”

______ Master Tags: @pixiedurango @chattychell @winter-fox-queen @lady-himbo @artsymaddie @princess76179 @paintballkid711 @missminkylove @pedrosbrat @ew-erin @sarahjkl82-blog @sharkbait77 @justanotherblonde23 @lv7867 @recklesswit @mylittlesenaar @f0rever15elf @gallowsjoker @steeevienicks @athalien @sherala007 @skvatnavle @thatpinkshirt @jaime1110 @girlimjusttryingtoreadfanfics @goodgriefitsawildworld @greeneyedblondie44 @katheriner1999 @littlemousedroid @harriedandharassed @churchill356 @ajathegreats-blog @hardc0rehaylz @beardsanddetectives @kirsteng42 @ladykatakuri @adancedivasmom @madiebear @tanzthompson @emilianamason @bigsdinger @xocalliexo @pedr0swh0r3 @avaleineandafryingpan @charlyrmv @avidreader73 @iceclaw101

My Masterlist!

[absolutebl]

BL Coming in March 2023 

The month of Thailand busting up established pairs, apparently. 

03/01

The Promise, (Thai WeTV) 10 eps - friends-to-lovers, follow up to a previously aired miniseries Phupha | Nanfah. Because of this and the WeTV platform I likely won’t bother.  

03/02

All the Liquors prev. Liquor (Korea Gaga & Viki) 8 eps - Liquor company rep and party boy Han Ji Yu buts heads (and other stuff? eh, it’s Korea, probably not) with hot chef Park Ki Hoon, who doesn't drink.

Heesu In Class 2 (Korea unknown prob Viki and/or Gaga) - A gay(er) version of Sex Education? Based on a webtoon. Heesu’s world revolves around Chanyoung, his best friend and secret crush. He doesn’t mind cheering Chanyoung from the sidelines or listening to all his girl problems. He doesn’t care if people only know him as “Chanyoung’s friend.” Then one day, Heesu starts hearing his name everywhere. On the bus, in the halls, during lunch… Turns out, there’s a rumor going around school (Got a love problem? Find Heesu in Class 2 and he’ll tell you what to do!) and with that, Heesu suddenly finds himself the center of attention. But how could he give anyone advice? He doesn’t even know what to do about his own crush! 

I want this one to happen SO Bad but am very nervous about all the delays and connected sandals and lack of distribution so late in the game. It started filming in December and seems more of an ensemble cast with lots of mixed in het romance. So... ??? 

03/03

A Boss and a Babe (Thai YouTube) 12 eps - ForceBook in an office boss/employee. Chay is a sunshine gamer who wants to get big in the e-sports industry. However, his plans are dramatically altered when is made to intern at a company. There his boss Gun has him do some pretty weird errands, confusing Chay about his true intentions. What do Gun’s actions mean? And will Chay return back to his gaming life?

I’m optimistic, I want ForceBook to get another chance and I like a cheesy office romance. 

03/04 (maybe March 9 international)

Love Syndrome (Thai unknown prob iQIYI or Gaga) 10 eps - trailer, based on a Y-novel, has side characters from Unforgotten Night but no crossover actors or other apparent connections. Day & It have been together for 2 years (looks like a violent off again on again thing). An accident leaves Day seriously injured and It blames himself then Day wakes up with amnesia. (Stars Frank formerly of FrankDrake.) 

03/08

Pastsenger AKA Past-senger (Thai Gaga) 12 eps- Stars Marc (My Gear & Your Gown) and Cooper (My Engineer) who were both formerly paired with others, in a time travel paranormal that smacks of HIStory 5. Sunshine 90s kid travels to 2022, goes to university, encounters grumpy nerd. 

03/09 

Our Dating Sim (Korea unknown prob Viki) - What happens when two men, friends since schoo, meet again at work to create a dating simulation game together. 

03/12 (maybe March 19 international)

Future the series (Thai YouTube & Gaga?) 5 eps - Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love - yeah I didn’t know that was based on a novel, either). About, you guessed it, an engineering student and a dentist. Maybe this will be the FOTS we were all hoping for? Fuse (the engineering student) is played by Boom from the En of Love and is kinda the same character (Field). I think we can expect this one to be soft, it’s from the 21 Day Theory people. 

03/14

A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea Viki & Gaga) 7 eps - Adaptation of Dongmul's manwha this is high school set and appears to feature a teasing confident gay and a rich/poor pairing, with themes of hurt/comfort and homophobia/gossip. One boy starts a dating rumor with another, putting the later’s archery scholarship in jeopardy. Stars idols Jaehan & Yechan BOTH from Kpop group OMEGA X. 

THIS IS ONE OF MY MOST ANTICIPATED BLS OF 2023!!! I still can’t quite believe it will actually happen. 

03/17

Unintentional Love Story (Korea iQIYI) 6 eps? - Ceramic artist Yoon Tae Joon has withdrawn from society, but Ji Won Young (an employee at a large company) tracks him down. Ji Won Young is intent on winning over the heart of Yoon Tae Joon as he's the company chairman's favorite artist. Stars actor Cha Seo Wo and idol Gongchan (maknae of B1A4). 

Individual Circumstances mark 2? No thank you. But if I must, I must. 

03/22 

Make a Wish (Thai Viu) - trailer, stars Fluke Natouch (OhmFluke UWMA etc...) & Judo (The Miracle Of Teddy Bear) in a light-hearted medical-fantasy romance with a comedic flair. About a doctor who sees ghosts and a deity who resides in a Bodhi tree that earns merits whenever he fulfills a wish. He is shocked to find the doctor can actually see him and decides to help him find the reason for his ghostly ability. Thus begins a chaotic yet romantic journey. From a y-novel by Sammon (Manner of Death, Triage). 

I’ll watch it if I can get hold of it. We’ve seen Fluke iwth other pairing before, and I like Sammon’s stuff. 

(source)

This is not an exhaustive list. Not responsible for updates that come after date of post. Read the comments for more info and changes. 

[bonebabbles]

Riverstar's Home Finished

It's a good book in the last 5 chapters. It's a bad book in the first 23.

THE GOOD:

It pumped the breaks BIG TIME on Clear Sky's ridiculous "redemption arc," giving him the space to be the fantastic, greedy villain he functions best as.

The dialogue is written very well. It's been pointed out to me that generally Kate Cary writes good dialogue, and it really shows. There are some excellent lines and quotes in this book.

This scene between Tall Shadow and River Ripple is superb.

Riverstar's arc is handled competently. It's a story about learning to balance peace and self-defense, and not lose what makes him special in the face of Clan pressure.

Night, Riverstar's deputy, is a woman who remains his platonic friend. This is a very low bar but it was cleared.

Arc is a positive portrayal of an adoptive parent, though it is only mentioned briefly. Riverstar thinks highly and lovingly of him.

Gray Wing being angry tutorial tips every time Riverstar died was funny.

Clan cats being able to create rafts and use willowbark as binding is now canon

The ending action is commendable. The struggle over the bridge was compelling, and excellently showcased both Riverstar as a unique perspective who handles conflict in his own way, and Skystar as a xenophobic dictator who uses his religion to justify his greed.

THE BAD:

So many characters come out of nowhere, they are introduced endlessly.

Which especially sucks because those intros aren't terrible, but you don't get the chance to see their traits in action.

A lot of Riverstar's most interesting traits have been removed, or are not complimented by the story.

For example; in Chapter 19 he starts having an identity crisis about who he is and what makes him special; but because he's frustrated and lost about this for several chapters, you just get Grumpy Riverstar until he has his epiphany while fighting Slash.

MOST of this book is recap that destroys a MASSIVE draw of the character by making him less mysterious.

For example; Turns out he couldn't swim until the second book of DOTC, he hasn't been in this territory longer than the other cats, and he spent 6 months locked in a house doing nothing.

It's a real slog and PACKED with filler. God it's boring. The first 18 chapters have nothing to do with the last few and 5 more are dedicated to traveling.

They managed to brutally kill another female character (Flutter) in an arc already notorious for its misogyny, give her no speaking lines before that death, and forced blubbering romantic pining onto a character who was popular in large part because he didn't have that.

His new mate, Finch (later Finch Song), appears suddenly in chapter 24, three quarters of the way through the book, and they fall in love at breakneck pace. She's pregnant 4 chapters later.

Finch also ends up giving up everything she loved, her whole life, including her friends and family, to follow Riverstar home and give him biokittens so he can finally get over Flutter. (they dont even name a kid after her)

Final rating: 4/10 Should have been a novella

It's not as fucking awful as Onestar's Concussion or Leopardstar's Hernia. It is a readable enough book and does have a solid ending, but you could skip more than half of the book and miss nothing.

Fans of Riverstar will probably be disappointed by the pointless retcons, but will enjoy the last 10 or so chapters when he's true-to-form. The original content that's worth reading would have fit just fine into a novella.

If you want to read it but aren't interested in a DOTC recap, I would recommend just reading the Tall Shadow/River Ripple scene I linked above and then starting from Chapter 19 onward. I wouldn't buy this one unless you're a dedicated Riverstar fan, or don't plan to read DOTC and want to use this book as your only experience of the main arc.

[ack3rlady]

A Happy Disaster

Summary: Sometimes, failed surprises are perfect.

Pairing: Levi Ackerman x Reader

Notes: Fluffy fluffy fluff, Established relationship. Levi & Reader are married. Post war; Canon divergent. The world is perfect. And all our precious babies are alive and well.

WC: ~1.7K

A/N: Climbing out of my retirement grave for a day to wish my beloved, grumpy, brother-in-law a happy happy birthday! This is a short little something I came up with for my baby @levi-supreme 's Happy Birthday Levi Event

“We’re ready!” Miche’s voice, a mere whisper, startles you when his head peeks into the kitchen through the doorway.

You gasp, almost losing your grip on the piping bag. Both you and your shaggy blonde friend stare at the strawberry-vanilla cake sitting on the counter in slight panic. Fortunately, the delicate lace of buttercream remains unscathed, making you breathe a collective sigh of relief. Miche pinches his tongue between his teeth and mouths a silent apology.

“All done?” you ask, carefully placing the last strawberry on the pristine white swirl.

“Yep!” he reports. “The table is set, streamers are up. Balloons are blown. Well, as blown as they can be, since Hange kept getting breathless with how much they’ve been giggling.”

“Shut up!” the bespectacled specimen yells from outside, earning them a couple of shushes and one loud smack. That had to have been Nanaba.

Your dear husband, whose birthday it happens to be, has no idea that all his friends are currently in his home. He thinks you’re down in the kitchen preparing an elaborate Christmas dinner for two. And Hange isn’t helping in keeping his surprise birthday dinner a surprise, at all.

“I would be incredibly amazed if Levi hasn’t already figured out what is happening down here, you know?” Erwin’s head appears next to Miche’s.

You’re wondering the same. All your attempts at getting him out of the house while you worked on dinner preparations were quashed. The crowd-hating man declared that his birthday present to himself would be zero interaction with people and that he wouldn’t be stepping foot outside the home.

So, instead you planned a evening full of pampering for him to keep him occupied. A cup of tea with a mystery novel, a long massage, and a long bath. You did leave the gramophone on when Levi went into the bathroom after the soothing head massage you gave him.

And since it is his special day today, you ran him a extravagant one with the expensive lavender Epsom salt, a variety of fragrant candles and his favorite music, asking him to relax and take his time while you got the “Christmas dinner” ready.

“I’m sure he hasn’t. The music should block out any noise,” you say to your former commander, partially trying to convince yourself.

Just then, the sound of symphony stops. A muffled squeak of hinges travels to your ears and the floorboards above begin to creak with footsteps. The three of you exchange a knowing glance.

“It’s time!” Hange squeals again, getting smacked by Nanaba and shushed by everybody else… again!

You quickly take off your apron and start for the stairs, cussing under your breath and hoping that he didn’t hear anything.

“The kids should be here any moment, now. Miche and I will be ready with the party poppers. Nana and Hange will hold the banner. And Moblit will bring the cake!” Erwin reiterates behind you as you bolt up the stairs.

“He’s gonna hate it!” Miche grins. They all grin.

He IS going to hate it! What were you thinking?!

The group watches as you turn the corner, getting back to their respective duties while you make an attempt to stall Levi for just a little longer till the rest of the guests get here. You slowly approach the room, a warm yellow light emitting from the gap under the door. You knock softly and head inside.

A whiff of fresh lavender hits you. Warmth emanates from the bathroom. You stop and take a deep breath. A man, the birthday boy himself, stands before you, facing the dresser. A towel wrapped around him as he uses another one to dry his jet-black hair. Glittery drops of water adorn his back, some trickling down its curve. You can’t help but stare.

“Oi! You’re going to drool if you stare any harder,” His reflection scolds you from the mirror.

“Can’t help it when you look so delicious, baby,” you jest, making your way towards him.

You wrap your arms around Levi's waist and rest your chin on his shoulder. Smiling at him in the mirror. You breathe in the aroma of his warm, fresh skin and hum in delight. The sharpness in his sterling eyes softens and he places an adoring kiss on your temple. He turns in your arms to face you and pecks your forehead softly, wrapping his arms around you.

“Delicious, huh?” he smirks. “Care for a bite?”

You’re tempted. Almost forgetting about the crowd waiting downstairs. His dreamy gaze isn’t helping either. Neither is the firm grasp he currently has on your hind. Levi moves one of his hands to cup the back of your neck, inching his face closer and closer. Your eyes are shut, lips tingling in anticipation of the ones they’re about to meet.

A loud thud disturbs the steamy ambience.

“What the hell was that?” Levi probes.

You are still dazed, the heat from his hot, freshly showered body permeating your skin. You blink harshly to snap out of the trance he always puts you in. Suddenly, you are reminded that if you want this surprise to work, those hooligans shouldn’t be left on their own for too long.

“Uhh.. The house is old and noisy. I’m sure it’s nothing.” you smile awkwardly, trying to divert his attention. “Besides, dinner is ready. Let’s head downstairs.”

He lets you go, reaching into the closet and pulling out a crisp white shirt to put on. He matches it with a pair of graphite grey pants and walks with you to the bedroom door. You wrap your fingers around the knob and slowly open it. Levi presses his hand against the oak and promptly closes it back shut, making you jump.

“What?” you ask.

“All things aside... I hope you didn’t let Eyebrows cook any of the food. He will somehow manage to poison us all.”

“Huh?” you lose your breath, trying hard to keep your composure. “How did he know that Erwin is here?” you wonder.

Levi chuckles at the look of absolute stupefaction on your face. He leans in, “Next time you want to surprise me, make sure to keep Four Eyes out of the preparations.”

Your old commander was right. As always. No amount of loud music holds a candle to Hange’s mighty vocal cords. You mutter under your breath, fists closed tightly in annoyance. "Damn it, Hange!"

“Don’t worry,” his calm voice breaks you out of your reverie. “I’ll act surprised. I could hear.. quite clearly, actually… how hard you all worked this evening.”

“So, you’re not mad at me?” You ask.

“A little. But you can make it up to me when they leave,” he smirks.

You stare at him in disbelief, and then break into a smile, mouthing a quiet thank you and giving a quick kiss to his lips. With your hand in his, you both make your way down the stairs, ignoring the muffled sounds and the shushing coming from the dark living room.

Seasoned soldiers who have been through literal hell and back can’t keep a simple surprise birthday party under wraps. You finally make it into the living room and flip the light switch on.

“SURPRISE!" they cheer in unison, party poppers going off on either side of you. "HAPPY BIRTHDAY!"

The look on Levi’s face is unchanged for the most part, leaving aside the faintest smile of amusement. The guests know quite well that this is all the "Surprise" they can wring out of their stoic friend.

"You two better clean this mess off my floor before you leave," he says to the smiling Erwin and Miche.

There are more people in the room this time, the others just having arrived. Turns out, the noise from earlier was from Jean, Connie and Eren racing through the front door to see who got in first.

Armin and Mikasa brought flowers and a small present. Gabi and Falco are anxious to run in to the dining room and see what is on the menu. Reiner, Peick, Porco and Zeke stand to the back, making sure the two teens don’t cook up a disaster.  Nanaba and Hange hold the birthday banner up high and Moblit comes forward with the cake, embellished with brightly lit candles.

“Make a wish, Levi Heichou!” Sasha urges, too used to calling him by his title despite the multiple scolds. "They say that if you make a wish before blowing out the candles, it comes true."

"Really? If this crap worked, why didn't we celebrate birthdays this whole time?" Levi chuckles, then closes his eyes.

He thinks hard but finds himself in a dilemma. For the first ever time in his existence, he can’t think of a wish to make. During every stage of his life, he always had a wish, a prayer. At first, it was to see the sky, then it was revenge and then just to survive.

And now, after everything he has been through, Levi finally has everything he ever wanted. Much more than what he ever imagined having.

The love of his life is by his side, his dearest friends beaming at him, his proteges living happy and successful lives, old nemeses have become new friends. What more could he possibly wish for? All he can think of is to hope that the sun never ceases to shine on any of them. And so, he makes his wish.

He opens his eyes and blows the candles, still holding your hand firmly. Everybody moves to the dining table and takes their seats. Levi cuts the cake, and you pass the slices to your guests. Sasha, Gabi and Falco are finally relieved.

Dinner goes by in a breeze. Time always flies when they're here. The plates have been licked clean and bottles of wine, emptied. You reach for Levi's hand underneath the table and lace your fingers with his. He looks at you and smiles tenderly.

"I'm sorry, love. I know you wanted it to be just us," you lean in. "But they were all so excited to celebrate your birthday for the first ever time!"

He looks over at every face at the table. So many faces, that you had to join two long tables to accommodate them all. They are smiling, laughing, eating, chatting and making memories.

Happy memories. Ones he will reminisce when he is old, grey and wrinkly, sitting on the porch swing with you and watching the sun set behind the hills.

"It's alright.", he whispers, giving your hand a light squeeze. "This isn't too bad either."

Masterlist | Levi Ackerman Masterlist

[thatdisasterauthor]

Would you like...an snippet?

Just felt like sharing something a little longer from my book The Pits which is funding on Kickstarter right now. (You can back it here, if you're interested.)

This chunk is from chapter 3 and lays down a lot of little things about character relationships as well as Royal's incredibly flexible relationship with gender.

---

It was agreed that while Royal and I took my horse to the church, everyone else would go meet up with the rest of the gang who were apparently camped outside of town. Akhíta informed me that, not including Royal and herself, there were ten other people currently traveling with them.

Despite saying we could handle trading horses on our own, Shiloh insisted on coming with Royal and I.

“Must you be so obnoxious?” Royal asked him.

“I will continue to be obnoxious for as long as your grumpy face continues to be adorable,” Shiloh said, snagging a thick arm around Royal’s waist and pulling them in for a sloppy kiss on the cheek. Royal laughed and tried unsuccessfully to squirm away.

“Oh!” I said without thinking. “You two are…dating, then?”

Royal let out a long, over dramatic sigh. “You rescue someone from a sheriff one time and suddenly you can’t get rid of them.”

“Poor you,” Shiloh said. “Also, I think it is the other way ‘round. You saved me, but I brought you back to Akhíta and now you’re the one who won’t leave.” He gave Royal a final squeeze before letting them go.

“You people have grown on me,” Royal relented. “Now, are we going to trade horses or what?”

Shiloh swept out a hand in the direction of the front door, letting Royal lead the way. The bartender seemed to be glad to see the back of us, though his eyes did stray to Royal’s pockets. Now that evening was falling more people were wandering in, but none spared us more than a glance.

“We should give her Marigold,” Shiloh said as we descended the front steps.

“I was thinking Eagle would be better. He’s more Clarabella’s size, and a smoother ride,” Royal responded.

“How long have you two been together?” I asked, desperately curious. Royal dating was as much of a surprise as them having friends. Their whole life, before they’d left, Royal had been far more likely to hole up in some secluded spot with a book than to bother with other people. Twice our parents even thought they were missing to the point of gathering a search party.

“Bit more than two years,” Shiloh replied. “My turn. What was Royal like as a kid?”

Royal stopped in their tracks and spun to face us, boot spikes gouging the dirt as they did. “Oh don’t you two dare make friends and start trading stories!”

I grinned, liking this game. “Well, all the adults around us would’ve said obnoxious, asking too many questions and all that.”

Royal groaned.

Shiloh snickered. “Not much has changed then.”

“You said you two met when Royal saved you from a sheriff?” I asked. Shiloh nodded. “What did you do to have the sheriff after you, and how exactly did Royal save you?”

Royal closed their eyes and pinched their nose, letting out a huff. “Can we get back to what we are supposed to be doing, please?”

“Oh, we’d broken into the same bank,” Shiloh answered. “But as we were leaving only I was recognized, and considered a threat, as Royal was in a lovely blue gown and red wig at the time. Royal got themself away, then came and broke me out of the jail later that night.”

“They never suspect the woman,” Royal said. “Now, can we get back to the horse issue, please?”

“Sure,” Shiloh said. “Clarabella and I will have plenty of time to trade stories when we’re on the trail.”

Royal shook their head and turned around, heading for the paddock. “This trip will be the death of me.”

Shiloh and I grinned at one another before following. I still wasn’t sure how I felt about Shiloh, but he was growing on me. As much as he and Royal seemed to pester one another, it was clearly with deep fondness. It was nice to know Royal had someone like that. Someone who loved them enough to watch their back as they got into everything they got into.

[anotherghoul666]

✨️Get to know me!✨️

Tagged by @devoured-by-shadows thanks buddy!! 🤘🤘

Share your wallpaper:

It's Gaerea's singer creature on his knees because why not ❤️

Last song you listened to: Drag me Under - Sleep Token

Currently reading: Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo

Last movie: I legit don't remember, I'm not a movie person at all.

Craving: sushi, specifically salmon sashimi. And a good submission play session / pain play / kneeling. As one does xD

Currently wearing: Cellar Darling black band t-shirt, black jeans, my work shoes because I'm at work.

How tall are you: a friend said to me a couple of days back I was "of the smol variety" which I thought was cheeky and fun XD I'm 5'3 3/4

Piercings: only the right ear. I had tons of piercings plans and I learned over that year of working on that year that my body does not like to heal piercings at all. It was enough of a disaster I never wanted to risk it again after three.

Tattoos: that my body heals beautifully, fortunately cause I'm addicted XD Right leg, calf and thigh, and a side of my back is done. I want to be covered.

Glasses/contact lenses: hell yeah to glasses, since I was a kid. I can't see past an arm's length without them. Contacts only for metal shows where I go in the pit cause I got glasses broken before. But I hate wearing them, I'm too oversensitive to tolerate them long.

Last drink: water. Besides that, a papaya-banana-chocolate smoothie.

Last show: currently showing Criminal Minds to my life partner, we're at the end of season 2.

Last thing you ate: mushroom and spinach pasta with lots of parmesan cheese.

Favorite color: black. For those that say it's not a color, then blood red / oxblood and purple as a whole.

Current obsession: Gaerea, Sleep Token, Ghost, aka the masked metal band of hotties trifecta.

Unrelated obsession: well everything's related but BDSM as a community and a lifestyle.

Pets: two cats! A 13 years old grumpy dictator of a fat brown tabby who I exist to serve XD And a 10 years old smol orange, which should tell you all you need to know about her crackhead personality XD

Do you have a crush on someone? Listen, I'm poly, I'm non-mono, my love freeflows out of me and into the world, I'm a flirty fuck who tries shit, and I have no intention to turn that affection faucet off. I have a ton of crushes active at all times and I'm open for those who vibe with my energy and meet me up to where I set my own bar. It's fun! ❤️

Favorite fictional character: impossible to choose one, there are so many! I guess my immediate thought was Hannibal from the tv series?

Last place I travelled to: I travel locally whenever I can, me and my life partner fancy ourselves a good road trip, so many small cities around the province and stuff like that. Internationally my last trip was the US in 2017 for a metal festival 🤘

Tagging yeah I'm tagging all of yall again XD @joeynihil @idkhowbut-art @mibo-nin @miasmaghoul @traayaa @belle--ofthebrawl @nocturnalghoul @askingforthesun no pressure and only if you haven't done it before and it sounds fun!

[rosyjuly]

(1/2) hi i’m new i literally made a tumblr just to say this but… do i hear Spirited Aaway (best movie of all time) au? (even if you don't know what that is i need to speak my truth so) plot wise mick is travelling with his dad to visit somewhere idk and they end up in the spirit realm and michael gets cursed to enter enchanted sleep so mick goes to the bathhouse that’s in the distance where he meets this scruffy older guy with eyes like running water who tells him to “go, run, leave before dark” but we all know that doesn't happen 🙄 and instead gets stuck in the spirit realm. the unkept hot guy mick keeps on thinking feels familiar tells him to survive and get his dad back he must go to upper management and beg for a job so he does and SURPRISE the bathhouse is a metaphor for ferrari and they take away mick’s last name like in the movie and make him forget about his past life. it turns out that weirdo blue-eyed man is the right hand to the bathhouse owner (who? WILL come up later) and he’s super powerful and can turn into a dragon and his name is ✨seb✨ but mick is like… don’t i know you from my repressed childhood..? no? anyway i don’t think that’s your name but i will not examine that. after that estiebestie the nice demon is tasked to train him in how to do bathhouse stuff (he’s the cool mentor woman in the film i don’t remember her name) and he’s the only one who’s nice to mick. mick suffers for a bit, because he’s a nepo baby who’s never done manual labor at heart. then alex the mud spirit comes through (rbr to williams resurrection metaphor) and so does no-face (fernando alonso because that image is really funny to me, not for thematic reasons). seb (haku) hates him. it’s great.

(2/2) anyway whatever whatever climax of the story seb goes to steal the “golden seal” (wdc) and gets super poisoned (again, metaphor) so mick goes down to the boiler room again to meet with seb’s oldest and only friend, a spirit who used to be super powerful but was cast aside to the basement after becoming disillusioned by the bathhouse (guess who? it’s kimi lol. he could pull off the boiler guy). grumpy boiler guy tells him to travel to the empire across the sea and gives him the train tickets. also charles is there because charles is the giant baby (ferrari chosen one iykyk) but he’s better and cooler than the baby in the film. they travel all the way to the cottage of TOTO WOLFF who is the nice witch and he tells them about his old friend/rival (lover? 😳) MAURIZIO ARRIVABENE and his cursed ferrari bathhouse who has seb in a chokehold. anyway mick gets emotionally adopted and seb is cured and shows up and the door and turns into a dragon to fly them back (it’s glorious). (a.n: george is the hopping lamppost this is so important to me). on the way mick has a revelation. am i… into men? lmao jokes. his realization is that seb was the river spirit his dad used to take him too when he was a kid in the german countryside and the spirit’s name is ✨sebastian vettel✨. it’s moving and beautiful and whatever. they get back and return charles the mouse to ferrari so they can release sebby’s contract (aston martin era), mick goes back to real life and travells back to his hometown to see the river and SURPRISE there’s a scruffy older guy with eyes like running water (😉) waiting on the shore. the end. thanks for listening <3

anon, i watched the movie just for you and this is 10/10, no notes. fernando alonso as no face really killed me!!! toto wolff being the nice witch... i think niceness is relative but if he gets my boy a seat on the grid (who needs l. sargeant if we're being honest here) i will forgive some stuff for him... maybe it's binotto who's baby charles's grandma!

also anon HI you made a tumblr just for this!!! i hope you have fun on here!

[aajjks]

👀👀

BC!JK

“good job today class!! you all have a wonderful day!” you tell your students as they happily rush out of your class. today was an early day at school which means you get to go home early too!!

of course you still do some lesson planning to stay caught up for next week which is about self-portraits for your kindergartners and western art history for your middle schoolers. as you’re finishing up your lesson planning, you feel your phone vibrate in your desk and before you can take it out—

*KNOCK* *KNOCK*

“miss y/n? someone is here to speak with you” says one of your co-teachers who is standing at your door.

“good afternoon, y/n” he says and when you look up to see who it is, it doesn’t take you a long time to figure out just who the man in question is. from his suave demeanor, calm tone, and smile this man is jungkook’s father jeon jaehan.

“g-good afternoon mr. jeon. weird seeing you here” you say as you stand up from behind your desk to walk up to jaehan and shake his hand.

“no need to be formal dear” he smiles and sneakily his thumb travels to rub the smooth skin of your palm. jihye constant bashing about you made jaehan wonder what you looked like in person.

it’s only right that he meets the woman that’s got his son wrapped around his finger and he’s beginning to think that jihye was exaggerating because you are drop dead gorgeous.

your pretty eyes are enough to rival his wife’s, your lips are perfectly plump, and your freckles look like a constellation he could stare at all day and night. your voice is as sweet as honey and your body is to die for.

not to mention you smell so fucking good, if you were a piece of candy he’d eat you up. your coveralls are adorable and so are your glasses, to sum it up, jaehan completely understands why his son is so hung up over you.

“uhhhhhh…mr. jeon?”

“oh, sorry. spaced out there. you’re very beautiful”

“oh, uh, thanks?”

“no need to thank me. a woman like you should know that already. ehem, but that’s not why i’m here, would you look to eat dinner with me? my son would love for you to join us”

“thanks but no thanks. not sure if you’re aware but your son and i aren’t friends at the moment”

“oh really? why?”

“i’m sure he can tell you why”

he already knows why but he just wants to listen to you talk. no wonder these kids are so fascinated with you. your voice is perfect, your face is perfect, and you are perfect. didn’t jungkook say you broke up with someone?

whoever let you go is insane and his son is a bigger idiot than he thought because he fucked up his chance to have you.

but maybe…

“well i just had to meet the woman whose got my son so crazy in love. if you ever change your mind” jaehan hands you his card with both his phone number and personal address on it.

“just give me a call. enjoy your day” he says before turning to leave you with your confused thoughts.

‘great. first his mother and now his father?’ you think to yourself before you get your phone from your desk and open it to see a text message from an unsaved number saying ‘sage is missing you’

what a coincidence.

‘i miss sage too. how’s bam?’

[UMMM MR JEON?!!? UMMMMM Excuse me? SHE IS SUPPOSED TO BE YOUR FUTURE DAUGHTER-IN-LAW.]

Your reply is instant. And it’s already got him giggling like he’s gone mad. Jungkook sighs and relief as you’ve replied and he takes a few minutes to reply to your text back because he doesn’t want to seem too desperate.

But after three minutes, he’s already typing his message.

‘she says you should come here~- and as for him? He’s been a little grumpy, which is so weird because he’s never grumpy with me.’

He sends it, trying not to sound too persistent, and the truth is that sage doesn’t want you here, but he does.. jungkook laying down, waiting for your reply and everything is going good that is until… you tell him that his father just visited you.

And he immediately sits up straight from his bed, absolutely shocked, because why would he? What is going on? Did his mother tell him everything? And maybe he went there to you, were probably to offer you money so you can be out of jungkooks life forever?

‘wait yn?! I’m going to call you please pick up.’

He is so embarrassed right now because his parents don’t leave any opportunity to do that, why would he visit you when he’s always so busy even for his own son?

Jungkooks quickly dialing your number and you pick up after one ring. “Uh hello? My father was there?! at your workplace? How the fuck did even find it? I don’t know where you work?”

His father is not a nice man. He knows that very well and he wouldn’t just go there so he can fix his sons fucked up love life.

Not unless he has an agenda for himself.

“what did he say to you?”

[jplupine]

In the Wolf's Den: Chapter 12

Pairing: The Weeping Monk x Devin [Nonbinary Fey OC] Word Count: ~3.4k WARNINGS: 18+ Minors/Ageless get blocked, Exophilia, Feral Behavior, Blood and Injury, Murder

Summary: Peace doesn't last with the Red Paladins around.

You can also read it on AO3!

Masterlist | Chapter 12:

  Waking up the next morning, I found Lancelot still there in my arms. He had his head resting on my bicep while his arm was draped over my side. His slow, warm breath hit my chest, and I bit the inside of my cheek.

  Last night crept back into my mind, including the confessions and promises made. He said I'd never be alone again if I stayed with him, and I believed him. But I also knew this was going to be difficult.

  Lancelot was still the Weeping Monk to most others. He was still frightening to them, and only time would tell whether or not that fear remained. Going to the Fey with him in tow meant facing one challenge after another.

  But he was willing to do it.

  Gently running my fingers through his hair, I softly kissed his forehead. My mind was made up regardless. I was leaving with Squirrel and Lancelot and letting go of my past to move on.

  The man stirred as I was tucking some of his hair behind his ear. He took in a slow breath as his eyes opened, and when he looked up at me, I was caught in a trance. I couldn't look away from his beautiful eyes surrounded in darkness.

  "Sleep well?" I asked, and Lancelot's lips turned up in a small smile.

  "Yes." His nose brushed against mine, and my tail reacted to the sweet gesture by softly wagging. "How are you feeling?"

  "Must you ask?" I scoffed, and he chuckled. "I could get used to this."

  "What?"

  "Sharing a bed." Trailing my fingers over his jaw, his eyes seemed to shine brighter.

  "In general, or with me specifically?"

  "With you." My fingertips brushed over his bottom lip as I enjoyed the closeness between us. Lancelot gently grabbed my hand before bringing his face closer to mine. He was going for a kiss, but both of us froze when we heard footsteps crunching in the snow and getting closer to the tent.

  I saw him look toward the opening of the tent before pulling away. My ears flicked back with the absence of his warmth. Lancelot was on his feet and fetching the green cloak just before the flaps of the tent were opened.

  "Good. You're up." Squirrel had food with him and tossed me some bread. "Odhran's been like a fussy baby since last night."

  "What?" My brows furrowed.

  "Whatever you said to him pissed him off plenty." Squirrel was now looking at Lancelot. "When you two didn't come back, Arthur had to stop him from going into the woods after you. He's still grumpy."

  "Yeah. Some....serious things were said." I muttered before taking a bite out of the bread.

  "Don't expect me to apologize." Lancelot said firmly while pulling the cloak's hood over his head.

  "I don't. He'd know it's fake."

  "So what did you say?" Squirrel asked with a raised brow.

  "Something you shouldn't worry yourself about." Lancelot replied, and Squirrel rolled his eyes. He tossed some food to the Ash Man, and he caught it.

  "I'm not a little kid."

  "You don't need to know everything, Percival."

  "Speaking of, there is something you should know." I spoke up, and Squirrel looked at me. "I've changed my mind. I'll be going with you and Lancelot." The boy's eyes widened.

  "Really?"

  "Really." I nodded.

  "What about your cave? And Odhran?"

  "There's not much for me back in that cave, and I'm sure Odhran can travel home safely on his own."

  "That's not what I meant." Squirrel had a more serious tone, and the tent was quiet for a second.

  "I've told you before. He's only a friend."

  "You should tell him that."

  "I will."

  I was picking winter plants in the woods surrounding the camp, and Odhran had joined me. It had been mostly quiet so far, and we were both aware of the tension in the air.

  Moving the snow to the side, I plucked some leaves from the weed growing under a bush. I was racking my brain trying to think of how best to tell Odhran my change in plans. However, before I could figure it out, he spoke up first.

  "I'm not stupid, Devin." His words made my ears perk up.

  "What?"

  "I know you still have no interest in me. I just...." He sighed while collecting fallen pine needles. "I hoped that would change after you saw the man I'd become. And, to be honest, seeing how close you are with that monk....it made me jealous."

  "Odhran-"

  "I don't want you to feel pressured. Seeing you unhappy and forcing yourself to do something you don't want to would hurt more." Odhran didn't look at me even as he scooped snow out of the way to find more needles.

  "I'm sorry. I wish you could find the happiness you seek, but it won't be with me. You deserve better."

  "I want your honesty, Devin. Don't be scared to tell me the truth. I'd rather hear it than see the struggle in your eyes."

  "I guess we were both a little foolish."

  "Yes. We were." He softly chuckled and finally looked at me. "Even if you do not love me, I still hold our friendship dearly."

  "You're a good man with a fine head on your shoulders. I doubt you'll be alone for long." I smiled.

  "Thank you. I must ask, though. You are aware of how the monk feels, are you not?" Odhran looked me in the eye, and I sighed while averting my gaze. "I haven't been around long, but I can see it. I recognize the way he looks at you."

  "I didn't think it was that noticeable."

  "It might not be to the man-bloods, but it is to me. That hard expression of his softens when you're around. And how he acts when you praise him." Odhran scoffed.

  "I didn't know you were so observant of Lancelot."

  "Jealously makes one keen to such small things." Odhran sighed while shaking his head. "I also noticed how you relax in his presence. You trust him."

  "I do."

  "....Do you love him?"

  "I-"

  "Be honest. I deserve that much from you." His tone remained calm, and I ran a hand through my hair.

  "Please, don't hate me."

  "I don't think I ever could."

  "But I keep hurting you."

  "Devin, you don't keep hurting me. Your heart just leads in a different path. I've been clinging to the idea of you, and I know that." He looked at me again while slightly tilting his head. "So, why?"

  "Why what?"

  "Why do you love that monk? I know it's not just his pretty face."

  "If he could hear you calling him pretty." I chuckled before fiddling with a twig. "You know, I tore him down several times to put distance between us and to make him feel bad for the things he's done. And yet....it strangely seemed to bring us closer. He bared his heart at his weakest moments. He accepted me at my worst. I saw how he cares for Squirrel. Even Goliath."

  "You saw more than a monster."

  "I did. I wanted to deny it, but I did."

  "I wish I could disagree. Maybe it'd be easier if I could."

  "What do you mean?"

  "How he looks out for you and Squirrel. He holds you both dearly." Odhran sighed while looking into the woods. "No man that doesn't care would put himself before an angry Wolf Folk and stand his ground the way he did."

  "You truly aren't mad?" I asked, and Odhran shook his head.

  "How can I be? He treats you well and makes you happy. I can see that much." There was a quiet pause before he spoke again. "Do you really plan on just letting him go, though? You may never see him again if you go back to that cave."

  "About that.... I actually changed my mind."

  "Good."

  "Good?" My brows furrowed as I looked at him. He sighed through his nose as one of his ears flicked.

  "Devin, you're Wolf Folk. You go back to that cave by yourself, and you'll only be in pain again. You'll be filled with regret and loneliness, and probably stuck in the past once more. It's time we both moved on."

  "Will you tell my family?"

  "Only what you want me to." He replied, and I thought about it for a second.

  "....Tell them I finally got the courage to take the first step."

  Odhran left that night to head back home. Putting things out in the open with him had seemingly lifted a weight from both of our shoulders. He even wished me well on my travels.

  I wished him well on his, and he disappeared into the woods while waving over his shoulder.

  The next day, the last group of refugees arrived. However, as we were packing up camp to head to The Red Spear's ship, the paladins had found us.

  Chaos quickly spread as the Red Paladins set fire to the tents still erected. People were running and screaming as Arthur was shouting orders for the Fey to follow the Vikings to safety.

  Squirrel had been with me when the attack happened, and I never let go of his hand. I didn't want him lost in this madness. My eyes wildly searched the clearing, jumping from face to face to try and find Lancelot.

  He was nowhere in sight, and I could feel the panic setting in.

  A paladin on horseback came riding toward us with his sword raised. I pulled Squirrel behind me before flashing my claws and baring my fangs. I snarled with my hackles and tail raised, and snapping my jaws caused the horse to rear back in fear.

  The animal knocked off the rider while bucking before bolting in the opposite direction. The Red Paladin quickly got to his feet, and I grabbed my ax. Squirrel drew his sword as well, and the paladin swung at him.

  I caught the edge of his sword with the curve of my ax before swinging outward. The man was thrown off center and left wide open. My claws tore through his throat, causing blood to spray as he fell to the ground.

  Dragging Squirrel with me, we kept moving as I continued to search the crowd. I could hear Arthur shouting in the distance and Vikings giving war cries. My ears swiveled as I tried to search through all of the noise.

  I heard heavy hoofbeats before seeing the black horse rearing up while crying out. Goliath crushed one paladin beneath his front hooves before kicking another one behind him. Lancelot was in the saddle and swinging his sword with deadly precision.

  My ears turned back, and I swung my ax at the man that tried to run up behind us. The sharp edge sank deep into the side of his head, and I wished Squirrel didn't have to see such violence. However, he likely saw worse when his own village had been destroyed.

  Yanking my ax free, another Paladin came running from the right with a war cry. Before he could reach us, an arrow struck him in the chest. He went down with wheezing breaths as blood gushed from his mouth. The arrow had punctured a lung and possibly more since he wasn't getting back up.

  "Hurry!" Arthur nocked another arrow, and I pushed Squirrel in his direction.

  "But Lancelot-!" The boy tried digging his feet into the ground.

  "He's buying us time! Get moving!" Arthur ordered before letting the arrow loose on another paladin.

  "We can't leave him!"

  "You'll only get in his way." Arthur grabbed his shoulder and forced him to turn in the direction everyone was fleeing in.

  "How did they even find us?" I questioned, and the man looked around while drawing another arrow.

  "I think they followed the last group. They may not have covered their tracks well enough." He shot a paladin about to kill a Tusk, and the Fey managed to get away.

  Once we reached the boat, Arthur was hauling Squirrel aboard even as the boy was kicking and screaming. It was then that I turned back.

  "Devin!"

  Running past burning tents and dead bodies, I followed the sounds of battle to find Lancelot surrounded. He was fighting, and I saw a Red Paladin aiming an arrow at him.

  With a snarl on my face, I swung my ax down and cut through the arrow and bow. The string snapped, and the paladin screamed from it hitting his eye. I killed another by throwing my ax, and his body fell from the back of his horse as the animal ran away.

  Steel clashed against steel just a few yards away, and I climbed up a tree to the lowest branch before pouncing on another paladin. I dragged him down with me off his horse, and we hit the ground. My claws tore through his robes as I viciously growled and ripped his throat apart with my fangs.

  I didn't let go until he stopped moving, and hot blood dripped from my chin. Looking up, my hackles were raised as I locked eyes with another paladin.

  He reeked of fear as he was breathing quickly and holding up a sword in shaking hands. Squirrel had mentioned before how the Red Paladins had yet to come across any Wolf Folk, so it was likely this was his first time encountering a Fey such as myself.

  I could see it in his eyes. He thought me a true devil as I bared my bloody fangs. The cold air showed my breath as a low growl rumbled deep in my chest.

  Staying low, I got closer as he stepped back. I rushed him, and he screamed while raising his sword over his head. Diving between his legs, he missed, and I mule-kicked the back of his knees to make him fall. Taking the dagger from the side of his belt, I buried it to the hilt in his neck and twisted.

  Turning around, I was met with the tip of a sword aimed at my heart. I looked at Lancelot as he looked at me, and we were both panting.

  "Why did you come back?"

  "I couldn't leave you."

  "You're unarmed."

  "I'm never unarmed with teeth and claws such as mine." I said while placing my hand on his sword to lower it. The rush of battle dissipated with no more Red Paladins in sight.

  "Where is Percival?"

  "With Arthur on the ship. Which may not wait for us, so we must hurry." He turned away from me and whistled to call Goliath. He mounted the horse first before holding his hand out to me. Accepting the offer, Lancelot then pulled me into the saddle with him.

  Goliath raced through the destroyed camp, and I clung to the saddle. Lancelot took one hand off the reins to wipe my face with his sleeve. He was cleaning the blood from my face before we reached the boat.

  When we reached the coast, Goliath finally slowed before going up the wooden ramp. The order to leave was shouted, and there was no turning back now.

  Sitting next to Lancelot quietly, I was wrapping a clean strip of cloth around the wound on his forearm. He kept his eyes on the ground the entire time.

  "Do you think me a devil again?" I quietly asked, and he finally looked at me.

  "What?"

  "What you saw today. Do you think me a devil again?"

  "No. You showed another part of your nature." He spoke softly while watching my hands tie the cloth.

  "As did you. Your actions saved many lives, Lancelot."

  "And yours saved mine."

  "You know, an actual healer could do better work than this."

  "The healer is busy tending to the others. Your work has also kept me alive thus far." He smirked, and I scoffed.

  "I think you're just too stubborn to die."

  "Only when I have a reason to live." Lancelot looked at me, and my ears turned back at the implication. He leaned closer before speaking quieter as he tilted his head to the side. "'Cause me to hear thy loving-kindness in the morning, for in thee do I confide; make me to know the way wherein I should walk, for unto thee do I lift up my soul.'"

  "You must be feeling rather bold to make such a declaration."

  "We are alone in the galley." His face was even closer now, and my gaze dropped to his lips. "You helped me. Now I must show my gratitude." Lancelot brushed his lips over mine. My heart beat quicker, and he kissed me.

  He was slow and deliberate while sliding his fingers over the back of my neck to pull me closer. I rested my hands on his chest and felt how his heart was pounding. He nipped my bottom lip while softly growling, and a delightful shiver went up my spine.

  "Did I ever thank you for coming back for me?"

  "No."

  "Please, forgive me. I shall rectify that." He kissed me again before pulling away by only a few centimeters. "Thank you." Lancelot's lips were so warm and soft, and I was drowning in the bliss of his kisses.

  However, we pulled away from each other when we heard footsteps against creaking wood. Swallowing, I tried to calm down as much as possible so that whoever was coming wouldn't know what had just happened. Picking up another strip of cloth, I grabbed Lancelot's arm and placed it on the galley table to cover the cut on his shoulder.

  Guinevere walked in and seemingly took a second to observe us. Lancelot had his back to her, but she could clearly see my face from where she stood.

  "If it's not too much, do you mind helping the healer when you're done here?"

  "I'm nearly finished." I nodded, and she walked closer.

  "So I see. And a good job it is." She said while looking at Lancelot. His expression was unreadable as he looked up at her from the galley bench. "I also want to personally thank you. By holding back the Red Paladins, we were able to save most of the Fey in camp."

  "And the Vikings?" Lancelot asked.

  "Most survived as well. It will be known how your efforts helped us."

  "That is unnecessary-"

  "It is. Fighting for the Fey is how you gain their trust. How else do you plan to continue to care for Squirrel if you remain an outcast?" Her tone was steady and firm. Guinevere was looking at Lancelot as a fellow warrior to respect rather than hate.

  It was a step in the right direction.

  The trip to the Fey safe haven took longer than expected, and several had gotten sick along the way. I became busy as the healer's assistant since there was only one for dozens of passengers. I hardly had a moment to myself, and when the ship docked, we were unloading those still sick first to get them better treatment.

  Thankfully, no one had died during our travel across the water. Fey and Vikings were bustling about as several families were crying with joy from being reunited. Parted lovers were kissing in the street, and parents were clinging to their children.

  The animals were unloaded after the people, and several were herded toward stalls while others were returned to their owners.

  The put-together refugee village was built around what looked to be the ruins of a castle. The castle wasn't too destroyed, though, and was being used to house Fey temporarily until a place of their own was made. This system seemed efficient enough since I'd seen several houses and even a market just beyond the docks.

  When I finally got to the room I'd be staying in, I immediately crashed into the bed. It creaked from the sudden shift in weight, then quieted after I pulled my legs up after me. I was exhausted.

  Not really getting a moment to myself in weeks meant I had hardly even rested. I'd been on high alert and trying to help the sick every waking moment. But now that they were in the proper care of several healers, my help was no longer needed.

  I could finally rest. However, I wasn't sure how long that would last given it was spring again. I was glad the boat ride hadn't been longer, or my predicament would've been much worse off.

  Sighing, I curled up and pushed my worries away for now. Drifting off to sleep, I pulled the grey cloak I wore around me tighter.

[redrobin-detective]

Inevitable

“Superman,” Clark looked up from his phone to Batman. “A moment of your time, before you leave.”

“Oh yeah, yeah!” He said a bit too loudly causing some of the other Leaguers to glance at them. It was only a few months into this attempt at a unified hero League and it sometimes felt like it was moments away from collapsing. He was still getting used to having other people around, relying on them but it was also nice having someone to talk to about this. He and Bats quietly waited for the meeting room to clear out.

The other man stalked towards the blank screen and stared up at it. Clark wished this mountain base had windows but that was the price of secrecy. Bats said he was presently building a more secure base of operations. He promised Clark it would have a good view.

“So uh,” Clark began awkwardly, “what can I do for you?” Truthfully, he didn’t know Batman very well. Their cities were across the river from each other and yet he’d only met the man a few times before the Starro attack which created the League. The others seemed to think they were friends but Clark didn’t want to push it. He respected the man, was soothed by his calm confidence and carefully hidden compassion. He wondered what the Batman wanted with him.

“What do you think of this work that we do?” Batman asked quietly, hands clasped behind his back as he continued to watch the empty screen.

“Oh it’s fine I guess, busy with pretty crummy pay but it does have it’s rewards,” Clark said with a scratch at his head. Not where he thought this conversation would go. “Are you, uh, having second thoughts?”

The silence was answer enough and Clark’s eyes shot into his hairline. Of all people he thought might walk away from this fledgling League, Batman had not been on the list. It surprised Clark a bit to realize he’d miss the guarded, grumpy man.

“I’m not stopping,” Batman said after a moment. “After all that I’ve seen, I don’t know if I ever can. I suppose I find myself considering the impact not necessarily now but in future, of what the years and circumstances will make of us.”

“Okaaaaay,” Clark drawled, walking up beside the man because it wasn’t right to stare at his back for a conversation like this. “What brought this strange and slightly morbid topic.”

“A few weeks ago, we dealt with that rogue time traveler,” Batman began abruptly. “He made mention of future children, at how they would be ashamed of our poor performance.”

“Yeah, I remember,” Clark said, confused. He’d gone home that night and rubbed his legs anxiously in the bed thinking of himself, Lois and 3 adorable kids running around a picket fence lawn. It was silly and stupid but Ma said that hearts can be a bit a bit silly sometimes.

“I thought nothing of it at the time, either the man was baiting us or he was referring to one of the others. I’m-” he paused, “I’m not suited for family.”

“Hey now, come one, don’t say that-” Clark began.

“There’s a child living in my house now,” Batman said in something of a rush, like he couldn’t keep it in anymore. “It’s just a temporary foster placement, until a more suitable home is found but it’s been a week and he’s picked out his favorite spots to hide in, his favorite mug and my... housemate is taken by him. He’s likable, despite everything.”

“You have a kid?” Clark gaped, unable to process the idea. “Like a real kid?”

“I might,” Batman said, shooting him an annoyed look at Clark shut his mouth. Batman turned again but he shifted ever so slightly, curling his fingers behind his back. His frown was different than usual as well. Clark had thought the man was older than him, in his late 30s if not his 40s. But now he dials way back and would say the man probably wasn’t much into his mid 20s. He was probably around Clark’s age and that, that was scary.

He also probably didn’t have anyone else to talk to about this, if he was coming to Clark of all people.

“What’s he like?” He asked instead.

“Energetic doesn’t cover it,” Batman huffed but there was the faintest trace of fondness in his tone. “I don’t think he ever stops moving, bounding from here to there, crawling on the walls, dangling from ceiling fixtures.” Clark frowned, was that... normal? He didn’t know enough about human children to say otherwise. “He’s angry at the violence that brought him into my care, he wants vengeance. He screams and breaks things. He paces the house like a tiger in a cage waiting for me to let my guard down, for me to give up on him and let him loose onto the criminal who stole his life.”

“Wow, that’s a lot,” Clark says. There’s some small scratches on the man’s cheek, now that he’s close enough to look. They certainly could have come from small hands.

“The problem is, I understand. I felt the same way when I was his age. In many ways, I haven’t moved past that feeling. It was foolish to take him in, to think I could help him. I should have let go with more capable professionals but no one else seemed to understand what the boy was going through. I couldn’t walk away, I tried but I just couldn’t.” Batman admitted quietly.

“That’s,” Clark started and found he couldn’t continue. He considered himself a good person, knew it something you had to consciously work at. To take in a child, a scared child who’s lashing out, because you couldn’t ignore that kind of suffering. That was heroism that you didn’t find wrapped in a cape. “So what’s bothering you.”

“I never planned on keeping him when I took guardianship but I keep thinking to what the time traveler said. What if the child is still living in my home years from now, what if I have to work him through his trauma? What if I have to teach him to drive? Save for college? What if he learns about my work, work I have always done alone? I’m uneasy as to what the future holds.”

“I think you’d still be in this same position even without weird time traveling bandits,” Clark said with a smile. “The fact that you’re scared is good, scared means you know how serious this is.”

“I’m not scared,” Batman grumbled. “I’m rightfully concerned.“

“Of course, my bad,” Clark grinned. Batman shot him another look but it was less sharp and more questioning. It was an odd position to be in, Batman looking to him for help. “You’re a very smart man, Batman, one of the smartest I’ve ever met. But you’ve also got a big heart beneath all that kevlar. You took this kid in because you wanted to help them, so help them as best you can. I’m sure the people in your life will be happy to lend a hand as well. I don’t think you need to make a big decision now but you’re not someone to quit with the job half finished. And maybe when the dust settled, well then, maybe you think about the future.”

“I see,” Batman said with a nod. They stood in silence for a few moments, Batman thinking and Clark imagining a tired, nocturnal based vigilante watching his sorta kid climb the walls in the mornings. The idea didn’t seem quite so hard to imagine now. Maybe one day, he’d get to see it in person. “I will consider your words,” his gaze sharpened. “And if you repeat anything I have mentioned-”

“Aw, you’ve already got the overprotective dad thing down,” Clark smiled. Batman grunted and stalked past him. “Bats,” the man paused. “Take care of the kid, will you? It sounds like he’s been through a lot. I don’t know your circumstances but I like to think I’m getting to know you. I think you can help him but I think, I think maybe he can help you too. Family is the important gift we have.” Batman didn’t say anything else as he swept out the door.

“Bats is a dad, who’d have thought?” Clark muttered to himself to the empty room. But when he met Dick Grayson for the first time several months later, he would wonder how he could doubt such a thing. Bruce was awkward, strange, standoffish at times but his love was present in his every action around the boy and every child that followed.

Bruce had worried that day about the future but destiny wasn’t always a noose. Sometimes it was a string leading you to the people who you’ll cherish. When Clark sees Bruce interact with his growing family, in or out of costume, he realizes that some things are inevitable. Because people with hearts as big at Bruce Wayne’s cannot live without love.

[oikadori]

PATTING THEIR HEAD WHEN THEY ARE UPSET (HQ)

↱ includes: iwaizumi, atsumu, sakusa

↱ genre//warnings: fluff , crack , fem reader // suggestive ig? the iwa one

↱ wc: 0.7k (i have absolutely no idea)

a/n: i do this to my friends soooooo i had to LMAO

reblogs are highly appreciated :D

✿ IWAIZUMI HAJIME

“And then I had to apologize to the manager for the mess those dumbasses did,”

Iwaizumi's signature frown is even more pronounced than usual as he talks about no other than japan's national team. His hand finds it’s way to the bridge of his nose before huffing extremely loud, causing a devilish grin to curve on your lips.

“I never signed up to babysit 6 feet grown up men,” he complained, sinking on your shared bed  and shutting his eyes close. There was a certain charm in Iwaizumi's grumpy face which invited you to smoother it in kisses and caresses.

And you take this chance to do so. Carefully, you snake your hand towards his spiky hair, giving it light pats.

“There, there, Haji, if you keep frowning like that you'll get wrinkles.” you say with genuine concern, watching with soft eyes how the athletic trainer's handsome face contorted while he opened his green eyes.

“The hell?! I'm not a dog, Y/N!” Iwaizumi growls but doesn't flinch an inch away from your touch.

“Oh, of course you are not! Otherwise, you'd have probably bit me already with that grumpy look .”

You ruffle his hair, causing Iwaizumi's cheeks to heat as a he shyly hides his face where his elbow and arm connects, hoping you didn't catch the way you made his skin burn. 

“Shut up or i'll definitely bite you...and not only on your hand.”

✿ MIYA ATSUMU

“Can you believe it Y/N?! He’s using my good looks to attract customers!”

Atsumu whines, waving a promotional poster of Onigiri’s Miya on your face. The image itself it’s not much of an issue, since it’s actually Osamu wearing his usual outfit. the only difference is that he isn’t wearing his usual cap which made him resemble much more to his brother.

“Atsumu you are literally twins, you have the same face.” Crossing his arms over his chest, he shifts his large body on the couch so his back is facing you.

A big pout forms on his lips as he mutters under his breath, just like a small kid. “I’m the prettier twin.”

Atsumu curls into a big ball while you roll your eyes, moving closer to him. Your hand travels instinctively to his back tracing a path to the back of his head.

Once your hand reaches his nape, he shudders. your touches were always so magical on him. But it's when you start smothering loving pats on top of his blonde locks that he looks at you from the corner of his eyes.

“I agree on that one.” You mumble. With hasty movements and big doe eyes, Atsumu turns around. It's inevitable for you to not kiss his forehead while you keep patting his head. “You are prettiest.”

And Atsumu doesn't know what to do, because it's the first time he enjoyed such cheesy and pet like treatments. So, he simply leans into your touch with a little flush on his cheeks, mumbling a needy keep doing that doll as he rests on your chest, hugging your waist.

✿ SAKUSA KIYOOMI

“Why are you smiling like that? Did you hear me? I just told you I almost committed murder today!”

Sakusa says with a serious expression only making his story even funnier. It was something about the MSBY blonde setter patting his butt instead of his back during a match, popping a vein out of your boyfriend's forehead.

“Aww Omi but I'm taking you seriously baby,” You coo, crawling closer to him to reach for his wavy dark hair, patting loving pats on top of it as if trying to calm him down.

“Something tells me you aren't.” He doesn't try to stop your caresses even when he is furrowing his dark brows together. He wasn't going to admit it but ,now, in the privacy and warmth of your shared bedroom your silly touches are making his tummy funny.

“But Omi, how could you blame him?! You have such a pretty butt I just want to smack it too!” A laugh cracks into you at the end and Sakusa turns around ready to leave the bed. You quickly cling onto his neck as if your life pended on it. “Wait, don't leave me Kiyoomi!”

Your laugh was his weakness, he knew this the day he met you. And the way you kept laughing was making him impossible to keep his straight face. Sakusa rolls his eyes, sighing as a lovesick smile curls on his pretty lips before turning around so he can hold you in his arms.

“Honey, I could never leave you.”

[absolutebl]

This Week in BL - Characters Voice Our Frustrations

March 2023 Wk 2

Being a highly subjective assessment of one tiny corner of the interwebs. Organized by which ones (in each category) I’m enjoying most.

Ongoing Series - Thai

Bed Friend (Sat YT, GaGa & iQIYI uncut) ep 4 of 8 - I love these two so much. King is so utterly in love with this boy. I like that this is one of the first BLs I’ve ever seen where sex is depicted as a coping mechanism. Is it healthy? No..ooo..? But it is different. It is phenomenal to see King depicted as sensitive enough to realize that something is wrong with Uea, despite his desire. (FYI all the triggers on this show forever, I’m gonna stop naming them now) 

A Boss and a Babe (Fri YouTube) ep 2 of 12 - The flirting is cute. The stalking is not. There’s a Kdrama tone to this pair’s dynamic. I don’t know why I feel that way, I just do. I mind it less this week than I did last week. Cher is a funny, kindly chatterbox and a FIERCE flirt. But not a tease, as it turns out. His poor boss does not stand a chance. Interesting pacing, this is awfully early for a kiss in a Thai BL. I like GMMTV doing these generational discussions around gayness and society, even if this version is more on the nose than Moonlight Chicken.  

The Promise (Thai WeTV & YT) ep 2 of 10 - I’m still enjoying it but I want there to be a good reason for parting with no contact for 10 YEARS, but I do not trust Thai narratives to satisfy in this regard. A drunk kiss is NOT a good enough reason. Oh HI BOSS! (What’s Zabb Man) you so pretty, I like the earrings. 

Tin Tam Jai (Tues Gaga & iQIYI) ep 2 of 12 - Oo. There’s only one bed trope. Also queer over achiever expectations. I’ve only seen DBK address this one. Well done little pulp. The tsundere seme admitting that baby boi was his security blanket was so flipping cute. But this show is leaning into taboo stepbrother stuff. So if that wigs you out, avoid. I, however, am enjoying it. Queer fam and local neighborhood kid dynamic is cute. This is more slice of life than drama, not much is happening, but I’m okay with it. 

Pastsenger (Thai Weds Gaga) 1 of 12 eps- Stars Marc (My Gear & Your Gown) and Cooper (My Engineer) in a time travel paranormal that smacks of HIStory 5. Sunshine 90s kid travels to 2022, goes to university, encounters grumpy nerd. I cannot STAND the music. Pratfall... into intentional kiss? That’s new. Of course it’s a dream. I like the 90s mentality and language rep, but I’m not sold on the show. 

Chains of Heart (Sat iQIYI) ep 4 of 10 - I guess we got the backstory? Did it explain stuff? Sort of. This is still a pretty incomprehensible show. And then a random cute (+ ALL the BL tropes) date, and then “but actually I am still in love with my dead lover.” I’m so confused by characters, plot, pacing... everything. 

Our Winter (Thai & Korea YT & TikTok under ThaiMiniSeries) eps 10-11 of 14 - they remain as TutorYimmy in the snow as they are out of it. 

Ongoing Series - Not Thai

Our Dating Sim (Korea Thurs Viki) eps 1-2 of 8 - THIS SHOW IS GOING TO RUIN MY LIFE IT’S SO GOOD. Reunion romance featuring popular smart boy + shy art queer. It’s ridiculously adorable. What do I do? It’s SO CUTE. 

All the Liquors (Korea Thurs Gaga & Viki) eps 3-4 of 8 - I like the shy chef with the crush, but I wish we knew why he doesn’t want to sell booze. 

Jack o’Frost (Japan Fri GaGa) ep 4 of 6 - Jealousy + manic pixie dream boy + pregnant pauses + great acting = Japan doing its thing. 

It’s Airing But ...

Love Syndrome (Thai Sat WeTV) ep 2 of 10 - I’m just not into any aspect of it (except fucking Lee Long Shi and I can watch him in Tin Tem Jai) saving to binge if the ending is okay. 

Blue Sky Complex (Japan ???) 5 eps for VR - Kei Ichikawa's manga is getting a JBL adaptation. Weird distribution though, it started Feb 27 sequentially on 360 Channel (SHOCHIKUch) a VR video distribution service. Will inter-fans ever get to see this, and if it’s filmed for VR will it adapt without being overly dark and fuzzy? I have questions. But as usual, you do you Japan and we will wait (im)patiently to see if you remember the rest of the world exists. This is my preferred kind of live action yaoi, so fingers crossed:

Boyband (Thai) ep 2 of 10 - Stopped airing on YouTube, and only available in Thailand & Japan. Not sure if they’re working a distribution deal or just fucking with us.

Cafe In Love (Thai ???) 10 eps on Ch3+ - Thai pulp, about trying to save a coffee shop. FairyGodBLer came through for me, but I’m collecting to binge just in case. It’s my new policy with the grey stuff.

Destiny Seeker (Tues WeTV Thailand) 10 eps - it’s not on any WeTV I can get ahold of. Bad Buddy the pulp rebirth meets Japanese handsome host club action. Same as above.

Heesu In Class 2 (Korea Thurs unknown, I check Viki Gaga iQIYI & WeTV nada) - A gay(er) version of Sex Education. I’m still not sure this one is actually happening.

Next Week Looks Like This:

Tomorrow: Future (Thai Sun YouTube & Gaga?) 5 eps - Based on a y-novel by Faddest (En of Love - yeah I didn’t know that was based on a novel, either). About, you guessed it, an engineering student and a dentist. Maybe this will be the FOTS we were all hoping for? Fuse (the engineering student) is played by Boom from the En of Love and is kinda the same character (Field). I think we can expect this one to be soft, it’s from the 21 Day Theory people. (maybe March 19 international)

3/14 A Shoulder to Cry On (Korea Tues Viki & Gaga) 7 eps (?) - Adaptation of Dongmul's manwha, high school set, features a teasing confident gay, and a rich/poor pairing, about homophobia/gossip putting a scholarship in jeopardy. Star idols Jaehan & Yechan BOTH from OMEGA X, a first for the industry.

3/17 Unintentional Love Story (Korea Fri iQIYI) 8 eps? - Ji Won Young is intent on winning over the heart of Yoon Tae Joon as he's the boss's favorite artist. Stars idol Gongchan (maknae of B1A4).

Full list of upcoming in March 2023 is here.

2023 forthcoming BL master post. (see comments, some are inaccurate, NOT KEPT UPDATED)

The Department of You Said It For Us:

You speak for ALL OF US honey. (Am I the only who keeps seeing KarnNut in these roles?) The Promise 

I’d put in the gif but the giffmaking children of tumblr are sadly lacking in the unfettered genius that is Grosse Pointe Blank. 

Chains of Heart reviewing itself. 

THIS WEEK’S BEST MOMENTS

GMMTV continues its 2023 Apology Tour. (Boss & Babe) 

King (Bed Friend) might be stealing Consent King title from Win. 

(last week)

Current Kpop earworm? Hidden Side from HWANG MIN HYUN (aka Minhyun of Nu’est & Wanna One RIP) - with few exceptions I’m not usually into the visual, but this is a terribly catchy song. And the poor thing has been awfully unlucky with his groups, maybe his solo and acting career will take off?