#or will people stop getting invested in your new shows at all because what's the point

[beauvandalen]

An open letter on the rising pirating situation happening to indie authors and their books.

I am a self-published author and some of my books have now been pirated more than they have been read on their official sources—I am not talking hundreds but thousands and thousands of reads that I will never get a dime from because they were read on illegal websites who I am not affiliated with—some of these illegal pirate websites are even asking readers for donations on the page where my book is being pirated, I have also found a site paywalling a pirated copy of my book and again, this money will never go to me because this was all done without my consent or knowledge. If this pirating problem continues I will not be able to publish books anymore.

My books being illegally reuploaded is disheartening enough, but knowing that thousands of readers are fine with stealing my book is heartbreaking, and it is affecting my livelihood.

The other day I was sitting alone in my living room, thinking about my next release in regards to this situation—it is a horrible feeling to realize that I will work for months on my next book, invest money, time, late nights and weekends simply to get my work out there, knowing now that once I publish my book someone will be waiting to illegally reupload it without my consent on a website where my book will likely be stolen thousands of times again, and it’s only getting worse with each new release.

Sometimes I am able to get these pirated copies taken down, but in most cases when thousands of people have already stolen and illegally read my book before it’s taken down, the damage is already done.

Please, if you are one of the thousands who read pirated books, please... stop pirating my books if you want them to continue to exist, please read my books on their official sources, the careers of so many creators have ended before because of pirating, this is not a hypothetical scenario, this is a very real and scary possibility that I am facing as an author because thousands of readers have chosen to pirate my books.

The books we publish as authors are our livelihood, especially indie authors who are completely dependent on royalties and do not receive advances—if our books are not read on their official sources we do not get paid. Please understand what you are doing by supporting these eBook pirating sites instead of the actual authors and creators.

Pirate websites are responsible, but readers also have a responsibility to read the book on its official sources—when you illegally read a pirated copy of a book, you are stealing the book not ‘reading it for free’, and by doing so you also show these pirate websites that there is a demand for pirated books, which further worsens the problem.

Your actions as a reader and where you choose to read my books directly effect whether I will be able to publish my next book, whether I can pay my bills or not, and it is the same for many other indie authors. If you care about marginalized creators, authors writing ownvoices books who are so often the people who self-publish, please read their books on their official sources.

Please think twice before pirating.

If you want a direct example of how much these losses in royalties can affect an author, here are some average numbers: a self-published book can cost between S1500-S4000 to publish, sometimes even more. An author would need to sell approx. 500-1500 copies (depending on their royalty rate) just to make back the costs they put into publishing their book, but if the majority of readers choose to pirate that book, then the author will not make those costs back and will constantly operate at a loss, especially if readers continue to pirate each new book.

To use a more personal example with real numbers, my most recent book that was pirated on its release day had approx. 500 readers read the book on its official sources, and was pirated approx. 2000 times in just 20 days... I don’t think I need to explain why this is bad and how it has affected my livelihood, the numbers speak for themselves.

If you are not sure whether a book is from an official source or not: if you find a book that is normally not free for ‘free’ on a website the author isn’t affiliated with, you can assume it is most likely a pirated copy.

If you have doubts on whether a source is official, please feel free to message me, I am always happy to clarify: some pirate websites have been claiming to be ‘publishers/distributors’ or pretend to ‘offer the same service as a library’ recently to cover up the fact that they are actively stealing and running websites which actively ruin the livelihoods of authors through illegal means, so please be wary.

If you have read an author’s stolen book from an unofficial source, it is not too late to get yourself an official copy to support the book.

*This open letter mainly addresses the ways in which pirating hurts indie authors’ careers as it is what I am most familiar with, but it goes without saying that pirating a traditionally published author’s book can also prevent their career from flourishing: this is especially true for debut, marginalized or ownvoices authors, for whom it is already difficult to break into the industry, if their first book does not sell enough copies then they may not be signed on for a second book, pirating hurts us all. My thoughts go out to the authors who are currently facing the same problem, I hope we can get through this.

Finally, thank you sincerely to every reader who reads my books legally, it is thanks to you that I have been able to continue publishing them, your support means the world and I promise I will try my best to continue publishing these books for as long as I feasibly can. I appreciate you all.

[darkacademiaarchivist]

i think i'd be less mad about dead boy etectives getting cancelled if it was clear that it was because of Neil Gaiman but since no one stated it it feels like just ANOTHER show with great potential (and a cast of pretty good, young actors who really deserved better) getting cancled after one season without getting it's time to shine

[violenteconomics]

as a prank, ace and epel start referring to their upperclassmen as members of their family rather than by name — when they're not actually talking to their upperclassmen, of course — just to see how long it will take them to notice. and after a while, the other freshmen start doing it, too.

ace is the first one to come up with this idea. he think it's a harmless little thing, a prank that'll cause plenty of mayhem but won't get him in any serious trouble. so he starts referring to cater and trey as his dad and mom respectively, and riddle as his uptight, no-nonsense older brother.

("one time i saw my brother try to put one of mom's tart into like a ziplock bag to save it for later, and when he took it out like two days afterwards, it fell apart immediately and he started bawling, ha ha! my dad got the whole thing on camera and shared it with me — i can show you if you want.")

he ropes epel in on the plan. epel is a little more hesitant, but seeing this as a way to get back at vil, even in a small way, he agrees to it. vil is now "ma" and rook is now "pa". people do start to wonder why he still uses he/him pronouns to refer to his supposed mother, but they decide not to question it too much.

("a few months ago, my pa told me a story about how one time my ma was trying to comb his hair, only for his comb to get stuck. so he got another comb to get the first one out, and that ended up getting stuck, too. five combs later, and peepaw had to rush him to the barber for an emergency haircut. it was pretty funny, but now i'm left wondering how pa even knew that story... hold on, i need to check my bathroom mirror for cameras, excuse me.")

surprisingly, deuce catches on pretty quickly, and he starts thinking maybe it's a new dorm policy. he doesn't know why, or why nobody else seems to be doing it, but ace seems pretty sure of himself, so he starts doing it, too, if a bit awkwardly.

("my brother always gets on my case for my bad grades. it's a little frustrating, but he only does it because he cares. my dad tutors me whenever he can, but he's not very good at studying, either. but whenever i do get good grades on my report card, my mom makes me egg tarts!")

yuu starts after they ask ace about it, and thinking it's a good prank, they decide to join in on a little mischief. so they start referring to all the teachers as their "dad". it makes people really confused, because they assume they only have one dad, two at most, but "dad" seems to change personalities every single time they talk about him.

("i was helping my dad do paperwork the other day, except we didn't get anything done and spent the entire evening playing solitaire and making dog puns."

"i was filling my dad's basketballs for him for his next game, whilst simultaneously helping him rework his pick-up lines that he's going to use on rsa's 'hot librarian' — his words, not mine. it was... a weird experience."

"i was feeding my dad's cat a couple of days ago, but i guess i fed him too much, because he's just a ball with limbs now. it's fine, though — it's not like my dad actually goes anywhere. too old for that, y'know?")

ortho is up next. idia's already ortho's brother, so he can't really do anything with that, but he really wants in on the average teenage experience of pranking your peers. so he starts referring to literally every upperclassmen he knows as his "brother". this is when everyone starts to realize that something's wrong, because some of things ortho says can not apply to idia in any reality.

("my brother is so talented! he's so good at talking to people, and making them sign contracts with him, and convincing them to invest in his restaurant... gosh, i wish i could be as good at communicating as him!")

jack is, unsurprisingly, very unamused when he figures out what the others are doing, but he doesn't try to stop them. but after a few weeks of exposure, and jack starts unconsciously doing it, too, which the others don't point out to him because they think it's absolutely hilarious.

("my brother didn't show up to morning practice, again, so my other brother and i went lookin' for him, and we ended up findin' him in a tree. obviously, my brother and i can't climb as well as my eldest bro can, so my brother just... threw a spelldrive disk at him. to get him out of the tree. and then we had to rush him to the infirmary because now he had a concussion. i don't... i don't know why he thought that would work.")

sebek is the last hold-over. not only is he unamused by this prank — and frankly very aghast when he realizes that jack has also been infected by it — but he's also really repressed and will do literally whatever it takes to not sully his image in the eyes of diasomnia. of course, with enough wear and tear, this doesn't last very long.

("ugh. my brother fell asleep on the road AGAIN! i swear, so many people have tripped over him, i'll be surprised if he hasn't broken any ribs yet.")

ace and epel think all of this is extremely funny, so they all keep trucking along with it with nobody noticing for a couple of weeks. it's all fine and dandy until the first-years are out on the town during the weekend, and deuce gets involved in a really bad carriage crash.

at the hospital, deuce starts deliriously asking for his older brother to take him home. but when the receptionist checks his familial records, they're really confused because deuce never even had a brother.

unfortunately, ace knows exactly who deuce is talking about, and awkwardly spends the next 30 minutes trying to get a hold of riddle over the phone.

the awkwardness doesn't end as riddle actually gets to the hospital, and the doctor smiles and says, "you must be mr spade's big brother."

[hargreeves-duncan]

Can I request five x reader (takes place in s2) where reader (five’s partner) gets sent to Dallas around a year before five comes and after he does and reader sees him, she immediately tackles him on the spot and gives him many kisses. Maybe reader manages to work at a casino too

a/n: hi, thank you so much for your request! i haven’t written in a while so i'd love to hear your thoughts, enjoy!!

summary: it's been far too long since you've seen your boyfriend - he learns that the affectionate way.

warnings: reader works at a casino but there’s no actual gambling so🤷‍♀️

word count: 1.4k

You had to hand it to yourself, for someone who’d known next to nothing about life in the 1960s, you’d adapted pretty well. In no time at all, you’d managed to land yourself a job as a waitress in a casino. A very good one. It seemed in this timeline, Jack Ruby thought a casino would be a better investment than a night club - and for your part, you couldn’t say that he was wrong, nor could you complain.

The hours were long, but the pay was good enough and the other girls had taken you in as one of their own. You quickly began to excel. Strolling between the tables and flashing smiles was easy, second nature even. You developed the wit and charisma to charm the casino’s patrons without second thought, which meant you got more drinks served, more loyal customers and bigger tips to go along with them. 

Most nights the new life you’d built for yourself was more than enough but sometimes, no matter how hard you tried, you couldn’t help but yearn for what had come before - who had come before.

There was always a dull ache in your chest whenever you caught a fleeting glimpse of a lone, brown-haired man at one of the tables. In those moments, you could never stop yourself from believing for a slither of a second that Five had made it and he’d come right back to you.

You’d waited for him in that dingy, old alley for two weeks straight, because you knew that Five would never abandon his family like that. That something must’ve gone wrong, but it was okay because he’d come back and everything would be fine. That was what you told yourself. You were so sure he’d show up and solve everything in an instant, because that was what he always did. And when he hadn’t, it had almost destroyed you.

The first few months were gruelling, taking your first steps in the new world had taken a while. Grieving Five had taken longer. The obvious truth was staring you in the face. A year without contact from him or any of the other Hargreeves siblings? The probability was that you were the only one who had survived.

It was a truth that you were reluctant to admit, even now. One that led you to where you are today, starting yet another night shift, beside the casino’s bar, to serve a particularly rowdy Friday night crowd of patrons.

As you begin to set up, Mary-Anne, one of the other waitresses on shift, sidles up to you. Her honey-blonde curls bouncing around her ears as she leans against the bar. Trying to stifle her laugh, in her southern drawl, she says, “Has he tried talking to you yet?”

You raise an eyebrow at her, tilting your head to the side, “Has who tried talking to me yet?”

Her grin grows wider as she gestures to a table on the far corner of the room, laughing, “That little boy. Haven’t I said a million times that we oughta get tighter on the security in this place?”

She sighs, resting her hands on her hips, “I went over to him - trying to tell him that we don’t allow minors in here - and what’d he do?”

Deciding to humour her, you smile, looking down at her, “I’ve got no idea, tell me.”

She scoffs, shaking her head as she smiles, “He told me that he more than knew his way around place a place like this and that I had nothing to worry about with him. Can you imagine having the nerve like that at his age?”

The thought made you laugh. It reminded you of Five. His haggard temper in the body of his younger self always seemed to shock people in the very same way. You paused. It couldn’t be him, couldn’t it? You must be jumping to conclusions. After all this time, it’d make no sense if he was here now and yet…

“He said that?” You ask, eyebrows furrowing as you glance between the table and Mary-Anne. You squint, trying to see if you could recognise him.

A part of you felt silly and girlish for still holding out hope but this kid’s description was just too similar and besides, you were a teenager again, you were allowed to be lovesick and entirely delusional. It was practically your god-given right.

Mary-Anne nodded, loading her tray up with drinks of all shapes and sizes to cover her half of the room, “He did.”

Your eyes were locked onto the distant table, practically pleading for the kid to just turn around and let your hopes down already. Still, all that greeted you was the back of his head and the green fuzz of the poker table in front of him.

When you didn’t tear your eyes away, Mary-Anne looked you up and down, her baby blue eyes swimming with concern, “You alright there?”

Looking back at her, you sigh, already pent up at the possibility of Five being so close, “Yeah, I just… What did he look like?” You ask tentatively, biting your rouge-tinted, bottom lip between your teeth.

Mary-Anne hums in thought as she loads your tray for you, “Gosh, I don’t know - he had dark hair, was wearing a suit. It had the funniest, little emblem on it.” She says, tapping her chest in place of where it would’ve been.

Your eyes widen in shock and excitement as you process her words, “An umbrella! It was an umbrella, wasn’t it?”

Mary-Anne grins, giggling, “It was… how’d you know that?”

You couldn’t even answer her. You were already starting to tremble and hyperventilate, entirely overcome with nerves and joy and pure, unbridled excitement all at once. A year of being apart and now he was no more than a few strides away. Your smile brightens up like no other.

You slip your tray from over your head and place it down on the bar as you say, “Hey, cover for me, would you? I’ll be two seconds.”

Without waiting for her answer, you dash across the room - a flurry of giddiness bubbling up inside of you the closer you get. You tousle your hair and straighten your uniform, anything to keep your anxious fingers busy and to better yourself for something you’ve waited for for far too long.

Hearing heels coming towards him again, Five sighs in frustration and turns around in his chair, “Lady, I already told you-“

The breath feels like it’s been stolen from your throat as he turns to face you. It’s really, truly him. Your boyfriend is right there in front of you and you’ve never felt more relief than in this moment.

“Y/N.”

You’re not sure if you want to cry or scream or simply just take him in for the first time all over again. As you look over him, his piercing gaze, his dark hair and the freckle on his right cheek that you can’t count the number of times you’ve kissed, your eyes can’t help but be drawn to his lips.

God, how you’ve missed the feeling of them. You barely have time to think about what you’re doing before you’re cupping his face and pressing your lips against his once more, savouring every part of him in a way you’d never thought to before.

Your hands trail over every callous in his skin, memorising him with your fingertips, and as you pull back, Five’s gaze softens like nothing else as he smirks, “Hello, you.”

His hands reach out to cup your face, gazing over you as if he’s not entirely sure that you’re real. After all your time apart, you’re not sure either. You smile, nodding, “It’s me. It’s you. You’re here, you’re really here!”

You cup his face in return and you can’t help but press another kiss to his lips. He smiles fondly as you do. And so you kiss him again… and again on his cheek… and on his freckle… his chin… his forehead. Everywhere your lips can reach, you press them.

After a moment, he laughs weakly and reaches up to pull your hands away from his face and intertwines them with his own fingers instead, “Okay, love.” He says chasteningly, “Let’s calm down there, shall we?”

Your smile grows shyer as you right yourself, “Sorry.” You say, brushing your hair away from your face.

He shakes his head, brushing your hair back for you and then guiding you by the waist to the seat beside him, “No, don’t be sorry. Don’t ever be sorry. Believe me, I’m just as happy to see you. Really.”

It’s him who initiates the kiss this time. He’s soft, delicate almost, in the way that he kisses you, as if each movement of his lips is a new way of giving all of his love to you and promising that he won’t ever let you out of his sights again.

[mostlysignssomeportents]

An end to the climate emergency is in our grasp

On June 20, I'm keynoting the LOCUS AWARDS in OAKLAND.

The problem with good news in the real world is that it's messy. Neat happy endings are for novels, not the real world, and that goes double for the climate emergency. But even though good climate news is complicated and nuanced, that doesn't mean it shouldn't buoy our spirits and fill our hearts with hope.

The big climate news this past week is the National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration's clarion call about surging CO2 levels – the highest ever – amid a year that is on track to have the largest and most extreme series of weather events in human history:

https://www.noaa.gov/news-release/during-year-of-extremes-carbon-dioxide-levels-surge-faster-than-ever

This is genuinely alarming and you – like me – have probably experienced it as a kind of increase in your background radiation of climate anxiety. Perhaps you – like me – even experienced some acute, sit-bolt-upright-in-bed-at-2AM anxiety as a result. That's totally justifiable. This is very real, very bad news.

And yet…

The news isn't all bad, and even this terrible dispatch from the NOAA is best understood in context, which Bill McKibben provides in his latest newsletter post, "What You Want is an S Curve":

https://billmckibben.substack.com/p/what-you-want-is-an-s-curve

Financier and their critics should all be familiar with Stein's Law: "anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop." This is true outside of finance as well. One of the reasons that we're seeing such autophagic panic from the tech companies is that their period of explosive growth is at an end.

For years, they told themselves that they were experiencing double-digit annual growth because they were "creating value" and "innovating" but the majority of their growth was just a side-effect of the growth of the internet itself. When hundreds of millions of people get online every year, the dominant online services will, on average, gain hundreds of millions of new users.

But when you run out of people who don't have internet access, your growth is going to slow. How can it not? Indeed, at that point, the only ways to grow are to either poach users from your rivals (through the very expensive tactics of massive advertising and sales-support investments, on top of discounts and freebies as switching enticements), or to squeeze your own users for more.

That's why the number of laptops sold in America slowed down. It's why the number of cellphones sold in America slowed down. It's why the number of "smart home" gizmos slowed down.

Even the steepest hockey-stick-shaped exponential growth curve eventually levels off and becomes an S-curve, because anything that can't go on forever will eventually stop.

One way or another, the world's carbon emissions will eventually level off. Even if we drive ourselves to (or over) the brink of extinction and set up the conditions for wildfires that release all the carbon stored in all the Earth's plants, the amount of carbon we pump into the atmosphere has to level off.

Rendering the Earth incapable of sustaining human civilization (or life) is the ultimate carbon reduction method – but it's not my first choice.

That's where McKibben's latest newsletter comes in. He cites a new report from the Rocky Mountain Institute, which shows a major reversal in our energy sources, a shift that will see our energy primarily provided by renewables, with minimal dependence on fossil fuels:

https://rmi.org/insight/the-cleantech-revolution/

The RMI team says that in this year or next, we'll have hit peak demand for fossil fuels (a fact that is consistent with NOAA's finding that we're emitting more CO2 than ever). The reason for this is that so much renewable energy is about to come online, and it is so goddamned cheap, that we are about to undergo a huge shift in our energy consumption patterns.

This past decade saw a 12-fold increase in solar capacity, a 180-fold increase in battery storage, and a 100-fold increase in EV sales. China is leading the world in a cleantech transition, with the EU in close second. Cleantech is surging in places where energy demand is also still growing, like India and Vietnam. Fossil fuel use has already peaked in Thailand, South Africa and every country in Latin America.

We're on the verge of solar constituting an absolute majority of all the world's energy generation. This year, batteries will overtake pumped hydro for energy storage. Every cleantech metric is growing the way that fossil fuels did in previous centuries: investment, patents, energy density, wind turbine rotor size. The price of solar is on track to halve (again) in the next decade.

In short, cleantech growth looks like the growth of other technologies that were once rarities and then became ubiquitous overnight: TV, cellphones, etc. That growth isn't merely being driven by the urgency of the climate emergency: it's primarily a factor of how fucking great cleantech is:

https://rmi.org/wp-content/uploads/2024/05/the_incredible_inefficiency_of_fossils.pdf

Fossil fuels suck. It's not just that they wreck the planet, or that their extraction is both politically and environmentally disastrous. They just aren't a good way to make energy. About a third of fossil fuel energy is wasted in production and transportation. A third! Another third is wasted turning fossil fuels into energy. Two thirds! The net energy efficiency of fossil fuels is about 37%.

Compare that with cleantech. EVs convert electricity to movement with 80-90% efficiency. Heat pumps are 300% efficient (the main fuel for your heat pump is the heat in the atmosphere, not the electricity it draws).

Cleantech is just getting started – it's still in the hockey-stick phase. That means those efficiency numbers are only going up. Rivian just figured out how to remove 1.6 miles of copper wire from each vehicle. That's just one rev – there's doubtless lots of room for more redesigns that will further dematerialize EVs:

https://insideevs.com/news/722265/rivian-r1s-r1t-wiring/

As McKibben points out, there's been a lot of justifiable concern that electrification will eventually use up all our available copper, but copper demand has remained flat even as electrification has soared – and this is why. We keep figuring out new ways to electrify with fewer materials:

https://www.chemanalyst.com/NewsAndDeals/NewsDetails/copper-wire-price-remains-stable-amidst-surplus-supply-and-expanding-mining-25416#:~:text=Global%20Copper%20wire%20Price%20Remains%20Stable%20Amidst%20Surplus%20Supply%20and%20Expanding%20Mining%20Activities

This is exactly what happened with previous iterations of tech. The material, energy and labor budgets of cars, buildings, furniture, etc all fell precipitously every time there was a new technique for manufacturing them. Renewables are at the start of that process. There's going to be a lot of this dematerialization in cleantech. Calculating the bill of materials for a planetary energy transition isn't a matter of multiplying the materials in current tech by the amount of new systems we'll need – as we create those new systems, we will constantly whittle down their materials.

What's more, global instability drives cleantech uptake. The Russian invasion of Ukraine caused a surge in European renewables. The story that energy prices are rising due to renewables (or carbon taxes) is a total lie. Fossil fuels are getting much more expensive, thanks to both war and rampant, illegal price-fixing:

https://www.thebignewsletter.com/p/an-oil-price-fixing-conspiracy-caused

If not for renewables, the incredible energy shocks of the recent years would be far more severe.

The renewables story is very good and it should bring you some comfort. But as McKibben points out, it's still not enough – yet. The examples of rapid tech uptake had big business on their side. America's living rooms filled with TV because America's largest businesses pulled out all the stops to convince everyone to buy a TV. By contrast, today's largest businesses – banks, oil companies and car companies – are working around the clock to stop cleantech adoption.

We're on track to double our use of renewables before the decade is over. But to hold to the (already recklessly high) targets from the Paris Accord, we need to triple our renewables usage. As McKibben says, the difference between doubling and tripling our renewables by 2030 is the difference between "survivable trouble" and something much scarier.

The US is experiencing a welcome surge in utility scale solar, but residential solar is stalling out as governments withdraw subsidies or even begin policies that actively restrict rooftop solar:

https://twitter.com/curious_founder/status/1798049929082097842?s=51

McKibben says the difference between where we are now and bringing back the push for home solar generation is the difference between "fast" and "faster" – that is the difference between tripling renewables by 2030 (survivable) and doubling (eek).

Capitalism stans who argue that we can survive the climate emergency with market tools will point to the good news on renewable and say that the market is the only way to transition to renewables. It's true that market forces are partly responsible for this fast transition. But the market is also the barrier to a faster (and thus survivable) transition. The oil companies, the banks who are so invested in fossil fuels, the petrostates who distort the world's politics – they're why we're not much farther along.

The climate emergency was never going to be neatly solved. We weren't going to get a neat novelistic climax that saw our problems sorted out in a single fell swoop. We're going to be fighting all the way to net zero, and after that, we'll still have decades of climate debt to pay down: fires, floods, habitat loss, zoonotic plagues, refugee crises.

But we should take our wins. Even if we're far from where we need to be on renewables, we're much farther along on renewables than we had any business hoping for, just a few years ago. The momentum is on our side. It's up to us to use that momentum and grow it. We're riding the hockey-stick, they're on that long, flat, static top of the S-curve. Their curve is leveling off and will start falling, ours will grow like crazy for the rest of our lives.

If you'd like an essay-formatted version of this post to read or share, here's a link to it on pluralistic.net, my surveillance-free, ad-free, tracker-free blog:

https://pluralistic.net/2024/06/12/s-curve/#anything-that-cant-go-on-forever-eventually-stops

[cepheustarot]

What awaits you in May?

Attention! This reading is for entertainment purposes only. This tarot reading does not give a 100% guarantee that all the described situations will occur or being ultimate truth. You build your own life and destiny and only you know yourself best.

✧ Masterlist ✧ Paid readings

Pick a pile. Choose one or more pictures. Trust your intuition.

Pile 1: At the beginning of the month, you may have an unforeseen situation, force majeure, which will change your plans, which were supposed to be implemented in may but because of this situation the implementation will either be postponed or you will change your decision and do it differently. As I see it, for the most part you planned these plans together with other people, your family or friends but someone could change their mind at the last moment and refuse to participate or a strong quarrel may arise with someone. Naturally, you will be nervous because of unforeseen circumstances, thoughts may arise "why not give it all up, give up this idea" but as the cards show, it is better not to abandon the implementation here but to look for an alternative, since in the end everything will turn out much better than you imagined! 

Also, this month the chance to change jobs or occupation / try a new hobby will be quite high as you will receive a good offer from a company or employer with good working conditions and a good salary/ rate per hour. However, your current employers may stop you, because they are afraid of losing you, you are a valuable employee for them and this can create small problems when you are fired. Also, if you are in business, your sales will increase significantly this month, you can make profitable deals with someone, invest profitably in some business.  If you are studying, then you will also succeed this month but it is important to make an effort here since you may have strict teachers who are very picky about the answers or you can write tests where one mistake can lead to the loss of many points, so be careful! 

Also this month, there is a high chance to meet a new person who will later become a good friend for you or, if you are looking for a relationship, will become a good partner. As I see it, you will spend a lot of time with each other, you will get to know each other, create joint memories, in general, you will be very comfortable and good next to this person. If you are already in a relationship, then this month is a good opportunity to strengthen your bond or resolve problems between you, establish a relationship and get closer, spend time together. You can also spend a lot of time with your family this month, in particular with your siblings.

Pile 2: At the beginning of the month, your problem which lasted for a long time will be able to be solved, you will finally be able to find a way out of the situation and thanks to this you will feel so relieved, weight has finally fallen off your shoulders, you will have a slight feeling of freedom, you can feel so confident as if you won the most difficult competition and took the prize! It can be anything, getting rid of debts, solving psychological problems, solving financial problems, overcoming a crisis, resolving a conflict with people — in general, something that has been burdening you for a long time. You may also have felt depressed and tired lately, felt like your mood was sad most of the time, it might be difficult for you to enjoy some little things and your condition will improve significantly this month. Here, in general, the rough patch will end, luck and happiness will accompany you in your life! 

I also see that this month you will have the opportunity to change something in your life that will help you feel better, here the emphasis is that you would like to get rid of the past, of the memories that burden you: you can change your appearance, your style,change of scenery and go somewhere for a while or move altogether, change your social circle, hobbies, change your job / occupation, change the interior of the apartment, you can add decor, you can discover new places in the city, find new people, you can also change inside yourself, change your views — anything can happen here that can improve your mood and well-being. 

This month you will also make new plans, goals and work on their implementation, here I see that you will definitely succeed since this will be something very important to you, you will be burning with the idea and strive to achieve what you would like, probably this motivation came to you after improving your well-being and it's very cool! Here you can study something a lot, try to figure out a topic, consult with others, improve your skills, even if you start something new, you will be accompanied by success and luck!

Pile 3: This month you may feel tired from the oversaturation of events in your life, from an overabundance of emotions, from being with people often, and here I see you can feel how your social battery has "run out". You will distance yourself from people for a while, spend time alone or with only a small number of people but in any case you focus on yourself and taking care of yourself. You can take a vacation at work or take a break, spend time doing things that bring you pleasure that calm you down and do not strain you, you will pamper yourself here and do what you want. You can also get tired of the hustle and hustle and go to some quiet place for you, often visit your favorite places and “places of power" that fill you internally. 

And although I said that you will spend most of your time alone with yourself, I also do not exclude that you will want to meet with your inner circle, your loved ones may also meet  and offer to go on a trip to small towns, you can spend time outside the city but away from the hustle and bustle. And if you agree then this trip will also be able to fill you with internal resources, improve your well-being, you will feel how your fatigue gradually passes and your head is free of obsessive thoughts. 

At the end of the month, a situation will occur that will take you out of your inner balance: it will be unexpected, you will be required to quickly resolve the situation or do something in the shortest possible time, make a choice and naturally this can infuriate you. This may be related to work, for example, your boss will require you to do something urgently, make changes to the work, it may also be related to the family, there will be a heated dispute between family members and you will have to take someone's side, since it is difficult to remain indifferent in this case. In any case, it won't last long, you will get a grip and quickly resolve the problems that have overtaken you so you shouldn't worry too much about it.

Thank you for reading! I will be glad of any feedback 🖤

[moodriingz]

Met you at the right time | A. Fantilli

Summary | Adam attends reader's concert and fans notice

Pairing | Adam Fantilli x reader

Warning | Gracie Abrams faceclaim!

Author's Note | I cannot thank you all enough for the love on "Into Your Room!" I hope you all had an amazing holiday! I'm currently spending time with family so idk when I'll be able to post next! I also liked the smau format. Please send requests! Enjoy!

Masterlist

y/nupdates

liked by adamfantilli, user1, user 2 and others

y/nupdates y/n looked so happy at her show last night in Columbus! she wouldn't look away from the vip area!

view all 50 comments

user1 i was there! she was so smiley during Feels Like!

user2 some people on twitter were saying that some of the hockey team was there last night. was there any confirmation?

↳ user1 oh my gosh yes! i thought i saw Adam Fantilli there and maybe some others too

↳ user2 WAIT ADAM JUST LIKED THIS POST?!

yourusername

liked by adamfantilli, yourbestfriend, luca.fantilli and others

yourusername cbus you give me butterflies 🦋🩵

view all 505 comments

user3 was it because of us or a certain someone in the crowd?

↳ user1 i was looking for these kinds of comments lol

luca.fantilli in case my brother doesn't say it, you're welcome

↳ user2 what does this meannnnnnnn

yourbff I love being your groupie!!

↳ yourusername you're more than that! you're my stagehand!

↳ yourbff yeah ok.

adamfantilli you're always welcome back

kentjohnson.13 my man is blushingggg

↳ user4 this is about adam right?

user4 oh my gosh i want her and adam to get together so baddd

adamfantilli

liked by yourusername, g.brindley4, yourbestfriend and others

adamfantilli always tying her shoes

view 220 comments

g.brindley4 did i miss a chapter?

↳ adamfantilli yeah sorry bud

user5 instinct tells me that those are y/n's shoes in the second slide

↳ user6 or maybe you're crazy

yourusername she's very lucky!

↳ adamfantilli she needs to invest in velcro shoes

↳ user1 OH MY GOD IT'S HAPPENING

yourusername

liked by adamfantilli, yourbestfriend, kentjohnson.13 and others

yourusername days off

view 467 comments

user1 what movie did you see?

↳ yourusername the new hunger games movie! so good!

kentjohnson.13 keep him in line!

adamfantilli i would hate to be on the receiving end of that glare

↳yourusername 🙄

y/nupdates

liked by user1, user 3, user 6

y/nupdates y/n and adam at a party recently!

view 20 comments

user1 i'm super happy for her but the second picture looks personal

↳ user 3 yeah I was going to say we should respect their privacy

user6 so cute but you should take these down

yourusername

liked by adamfantilli, bluejacketsnhl, yourbestfriend and others

yourusername hard launch? hard launch. 🦋👑🩵

tagged: adamfantilli

view 783 comments

yourbestfriend i thought you got that crown for me?

↳ yourusername i'm sorry adam asked to try it on. you're still my queen i promise

↳ adamfantilli i feel like i'm intruding on something

adamfantilli met you at the right time

↳ user1 stop not him quoting her songssss

↳ yourusername you're so cute

kentjohnson.13 blegh (you guys are very cute)

↳ adamfantilli aw that wasn't too hard was it?

adamfantilli

liked by yourusername, nhl, bluejacketsnhl and others

adamfantilli nhl awards

tagged: yourusername

view 337 comments

yourusername so proud of you! 🦋🩵

↳ adamfantilli loved having you by my side 🩵

bluejacketsnhl our #1 rookie!

user6 stop they're so cute I can't take it

g.brindley4 dripped out

yourusername

liked by adamfantilli, yourbestfriend, nhl and others

yourusername rookie of the year 🩵

tagged: adamfantilli

view 465 comments

adamfantilli you mean more than a trophy

↳ yourusername oh you sap

↳ kentjohnson.13 SAP

↳ g.brindley4 SAP

↳ luca.fantilli SAP

user1 i can't get over that i was at the same concert as adam and now they're dating

nhl congrats mr. y/n y/l/n 🦋🩵

↳ adamfantilli ouch

↳ yourusername don't take it personally babe

[h50europe]

BUCK / TOMMY - HELL HATH NO FURY LIKE A FANDOM SCORNED!

I did some thinking. Never good, but my brain can't wrap around the breakup that came out of the left field.

Recently, it was announced that a spin-off of "9-1-1" is in the works. While no locations have been finalized, Hawaii and Las Vegas have been suggested as potential settings. The showrunner is already working on the project, with filming set to begin in March 2025.

However, one of my biggest fears has come true: the focus of the showrunners is being diverted from the current show to concentrate on this new spin-off. All the energy runs in the new project. Also, at this point, we don't know if the mothership will be renewed. Without an early renewal, we must wait until May for the announcement. That is another reason why they are focusing on the new show. I wonder if this is why the plots feel rushed and repetitive. It's nice to revisit the past, but not ad nauseam. 9-1-1 does it too often lately. What's the point in bringing back Gerard and turning him into the butt end of a joke? What's the point in digging out Abby's Tommy and hanging it around Tommy Kinard's neck when nothing was ever mentioned in the past. The focus is clearly not on the current show. It feels like Tim abandoned the ship to board a new one. It's fresh, it's crisp, it leaves room for a lot of things. Even if the breakup was meant as a shocker. If your focus is somewhere else, you don't see it. Right now, the mothership is leaking and starting to sink. If Tim keeps his focus on the new project and isn't invested in the current show, the lights will go out sooner rather than later.

Bringing in an established character was probably the biggest mistake Tim could have made if he wasn't meant to stick around. Bring in Mary Sue or Marty Stu to be a LI but not a character with a history that connects to so many people on the show. You can't sideline them forever. Especially as Buck's bi-arc was announced as something big. And it was big. A bit too big to be treated the way it was. The fanbase that had built around TEVAN, or BUCKTOMMY, within weeks, was massive. It drew so many members of the queer community into the show. Suddenly, many of them felt seen. Tommy and Buck were different from the other queer characters out there. Different from what was represented on any other show. People were willing to watch to get the slightest glimpse of them. Because they felt real. Their chemistry shot into the stratosphere.

And then you go and end it on such a horrible note? I don't care if the haters call Tommy a plot device. Everyone on the show is one at some point—even Christopher, Eddie, or anyone else from the main or recurrent cast, Karen, for instance, the Wilson kids. You name it. Tommy Kinard came, saw and conquered. So why not give him more room? They did it with Taylor (yes, I know JLH was pregnant then, but that's reason enough? I doubt it). As I said in my other long post, you could cut in a sequence of 5 minutes and show a summary of Tommy's and Buck's life.

Tim makes the same mistake as many showrunners do. Cramming a shitload of plots into 42 minutes of airtime. Is it really necessary to tell that many stories in such a short amount of time? That feels like speed dating. You blink, and you miss an important scene. Every episode, you jump from plot A to B to A to C to B. We didn't have this fast pacing in season 1 or 2. Stop it. Make Quality plots over quantity stuff.

In Tommy's voice: And for God's sake, clean up that mess you created with that shitty breakup, or the audience will wither away.

I'm sorry. I could write a book about what is happening in my head. You'd get Super Brownie points if you made it here.

[apdreadful]

Since the election I have deactivated some of my social media. Blocked some people I never should have ever engaged with to begin with, and unfollowed several accounts on IG that just don’t bring me joy.

And 911onabc was one.

Is it because Buck & Tommy didn’t end together? No. I’m a grown ass adult. I can be irritated by the something and not be dramatic or hateful about it.

It was because several storylines lately have been complete bullshit.

They start strong with solid good storytelling. But then..eh we’re bored. Only whatever we do absolutely can not make sense!

The lazy fucking way they wrote Christopher’s character out, and that weird ass doppelgänger storyline.

New season? Let’s start by putting Bobby and Athena through to some major disaster! Hey it worked last season! Let’s do it again! (Do not even get me started on that fucking drug cartel shit..what the hell even was that??)

We are only allowed to have one character or couple drama free at a time. And if we can’t come up with a plausible way to create discord or havoc, we’ll just do some stupid shit instead!

Spend several seasons showing the deep strong bond between Eddie and Christopher. Gavin’s family moves? Just make it something dumb..but fast! I know let’s have him get mad at his dad and ask to move in with his grandparents!! Never mind he’d never do that!

The amount of psychological trauma they have inflicted on Maddie. The near death experiences of Chimney. Jesus. Just what tf?

Hmmm. Karen and Hen..the fans would revolt if we broke them up. So let’s go after their kids!! And we can’t make it about them being gay! Let’s create this over the top villain Councilwoman Ortiz. Who’s the mother of that drunk coked up dude from the accident. Only we absolutely cannot have Hen or anyone defend what happened or shut that shit down by saying “Your son was a fucking menace and maybe if you hadn’t kept covering for him he would have gotten some fucking help and not caused an accident.” Also do not mention Hen was cleared of all wrong doing. Nope. Logic has no place here!

Ok so the fans have been clamoring for Buddie. But Eddie Diaz is straight. Period.

So hey! Let’s make Buck bisexual. And tell everyone we are getting him off the hamster wheel (because really, we’ve given him the emotional depth of a teaspoon for a while now)..And his love interest/boyfriend should be Tommy Kinard, who used to work at the 118, and we will invest time to give him a compelling backstory, and lay a ton of Easter eggs showing how richly we can mine this pairing and these characters.

And make them HAPPY for several episodes. Blissfully in love. And then totally out of the blue, let’s break them up. But the reason has to be complete bullshit, totally against character out of left field BULLSHIT. Like they should start out the episode great and about 80 percent in..wait! Let’s also make him the SAME Tommy Abbie from season one was engaged to before she started banging Buck! And then let’s make Tommy who is so into Buck it’s palpable, dump him because he’s afraid of getting his heart broken! Even though it’s one of the most tired, overdone, stupid tropes ever!!

Yeah. I don’t know WTF is going on in the writers room I would swear it’s like there’s this talented group of writers who start stories, and then they go out in Wilshire Blvd and ask some random person on the street to write the ending, but they have to do it, right there in the next 20 minutes.

No I am not going to stop watching 911 forever. I just don’t really want to see them on my IG. This last stunt, sparked only incredulity and scorn.

[affectionatecorpse]

Spoilers for Finding Frankie below the cut!

Okay I'm sorry but I actually really dislike how some people are saying the announcer cares about the player and calling him "Good Frankie" cause... bestie... I REALLY don't think that's true at ALL--

He's a psychopathic power hungry monster. He doesn't see you as a person, he just sees you as another meat bag that's going to rake in more money. He doesn't even give you the courtesy of your name, just "Contestant". He tries to play to your heart by saying this was his last resort, that he's going bankrupt, that he basically has no choice, but Henry straight up confirms that's total bullshit. He explains that's not true at all. They keep doing this. Once you die, they'll just find another 4 victims to drag in, over and over. They have season after season of this. This isn't a new thing that started out of desperation, this has been going on for a WHILE now.

He wants you to die. He wants to make it a gorey, spectacular mess, and he wants the attention to skyrocket because of it. He wants the audience to be on the edge of their seats, so they'll keep being invested, like any good TV show creator. If every episode is the same, just having everyone die in mere moments and in the exact same way, there's no mystery or excitement. It becomes predictable, and boring. He's not sympathising with you. He just wants to prevent his show becoming mundane. After all, the horror and surprise of it is what gets his money.

They did this exact thing with Henry. He claims the energy you bring inspired them to spare him, but the second he returns the loveable sidekick and delivers some Tumblr Sexyman vibes, he's suddenly and brutally killed. Because it's surprising. Killing him offscreen? Boring! Catching the audience off guard with a loud and sudden kill to the character they've grown attached to? Now that's good television!

In the moments when the announcer even does spare you, such as telling Frankie not to kill you in the vent and preventing you from attracting attention in the sewer, that's not because he cares.

The only times he actively stops you from being killed is in places with no cameras.

There's no cameras in the vent or in the water. But the moment you enter a room with a camera somewhere in it, the threat returns. Because the viewers can see it now, and it better be glorious.

And in the moment you think he's going to help you, just before the final boss, he completely disregards you, instead slamming the door shut. You'd better give him a good ending.

When you survive, he's not even happy. He's stunned. He never thought there'd be a flaw in his grand design. So his immediate response is to compromise. He can't have you going out there, soiling his name! Giving people hope! If you did that, he'd actually have to start giving people prize money! And your strength is so admired by the fans... He'd be a fool not to take that opportunity.

The announcer is not a good guy. He is not your friend. He isn't some tragic soul just trying to save his company. He's sadistic and greedy, and incredibly selfish. He is the CEO of a giant corporation, after all. He's not the "good Frankie". He's just the announcer. He's not special, no matter how much he wants to be.

[waltzingwithyourenemyattheball]

PICK A CARD: THIS MESSAGE WILL CHANGE YOUR LIFE

Left: 111; Right: 333

Disclaimer:

🪈 Take what resonates and leave the rest

🪈 Disclaimer in highlight applies here

🪈 Thank you for letting me read for you, it has been a pleasure

🪈Personal readings are paid only.

🪈No one is allowed to copy my work under any circumstances.

✨111✨

You live life in defined stages, set in their ways, dislike change. Anal personality, structured, to-do lists that must be crossed off and any step out of the system creates irritation. You are doing something you don’t want, to get something you don’t want, simply because you once decided. You are being told to embrace partnership, learning how to dance would help, choose a dance style in which it involves two people going in a rhythm like salsa. This will help with adaptability and flexibility which you really need. Tightness in body will be gone to. You take the road taken while yearning for adventure, you think, but you never act. hesitant energy due to defeated mindset: first the world defeated you and now you defeat you. You need love, you like love, you crave love and affection but darn it if you show this. You crave intimacy. You like to seem tough. You want softness. A go-getter. Someone who says they don’t have time for love and will focus on their career. A free thinker who doesn’t like changes. Theme of  love life: opposites attract like rebel meets high school sweetheart, princess and the frog, forbidden romance. Loyal to a fault. MAIN MESSAGE: Embrace partnerships especially romantic, it will change your life. Don’t rush but embrace, go out on dates, meet people, BE VULNERABLE. Now listen carefully: there is no shame in wanting to be loved, it’s the most human thing to feel. Work on this and many of your problems will vanish, like literally be banned from your life. 

COMMENT ‘111’ To claim this! 🌙DM for a personal tarot reading🌙

✨333✨

*If all this isn’t happening currently, it means you must make it happen* NEW BEGINNINGS. All the conflict and shame is in the past, all the cold wars, all the over analysis, complaining and gossiping, all the plans are out the window. It is a fresh new start. ‘Beautiful’ by NCT might be relevant for you. You have worked hard to save relationships, biting your tounge and all to the deterioration of your own happiness. No more. You are done. You are done in a good way. ALL YOUR focus and all you energy is being invested in changes, changing decor, moving homes, letting go of the stuff in your house that doesn’t bring you joy, a de-clutter. It’s like moving into a new environment where no one has a pre-concieved notion of who you are, so you can begin anew. You can be who you want to be. You are being told to not rush the process, it might already be at a good velocity, learn from your past but not let old experiences get in the way of making new ones. LEAVE THE BAGGAGE. CUT CORDS. It seems like you are moving away from family and siblings for some of you. A year from now, it’s a different story, a good one. CHANNELED PHRASES: new home, relief, reminiscing past as simply past with no negativity. You are a hard worker and it will be rewarded and I know you are tired of hearing the word patient, but you will be rewarded soon. Fight for your place in the world, don’t let people walk over you. Remember Energy flows where attention goes, if you constantly keep replaying the past in your head like a cassette and its like asking ‘Why won’t the music stop when I hit replay’, its because you are replaying it, and harbouring resentment. LEARN TO FIGHT BACK. Don’t show the other cheek, and make do. Make the best of the situation but that doesn’t mean you let go of your rights, please communicate your desires and work towards it, instead of running away from conflict.   COMMENT ‘333’ To claim this! 🌙DM for a personal tarot reading🌙

-

EL TAROT

[eggcats]

"people are mad that that artists wanted to be paid" no, people are mad that they HAD places of revenue they could have invested in and instead decided to fuck everyone over and piss off their fans who have been there since the buzzfeed days

(+ the only reason they're now saying they're not pulling content is BECAUSE of the backlash, and this isn't even going into how any growth is now impossible if it's their own platform, they are NOT big enough or produce enough content for this)

like, apparently they have a patreon? have never heard of it. absolutely no advertisement on it, when PLENTY of people would subscribe if they plugged it at ALL (like, fans love bts content, early episodes, extra/uncut stuff, having their names be credited at the end, a discord, etc) but I've never heard of it, and according to people who have subscribed, they didn't find it worth their money (not an ideal baseline for their own service)

they have merch? make more and better quality/nicer designs (or just fun quotes! so much of my stuff from their buzzfeed days is just shane quotes, but the only stuff I've bought from them now is their jackets and the professor doll, nothing else. I've looked at their catalog, it's ugly. put a funny quote on a shirt and I'll buy it guys, it's not that hard)

a youtube membership for similar stuff to the patreon, yt livestreams, USE THE PLATFORM YOURE ON MAYBE???

explicitly asking fans to turn off adblock for them on their videos

but, like, I am absolutely not paying $60 just for like 1-2 shows that only get like 4 episodes a year. they do NOT have the content for this on their own (and why tf do they have 25+ employees???? bro what) - not to mention, the inaccessibility the new platform and ability for non US based fans to even subscribe

people watch bc of the dynamic between Shane and Ryan, some of my favorite episodes are ones where we get the random text on screen- nothing fancy

tbh I get what they want but it's been my opinion that too much of their stuff that I watch has become a) formuliac and b) overproduced without much to show (imo mystery files comes to mind, it's Fine but I only enjoyed the banter vs all the unnecessary visuals, the same with ghost files)

I've seen people mention how expensive just the ghost hunting stuff is, and like yeah, maybe stop buying that big fancy brandname equipment without and instead ask for sponsors to advertise your stuff, all that stuff is nonsense anyway so it's not like you're lying about like betterhelp or something

and idk, maybe having a show where you apparently eat gold and caviar isn't the best if you're struggling with money (esp bc who watches it? not me)

what they need is someone who actually knows anything as their ceo, having less than half the staff they do, and investing in the avenues they already have with SOME pay walled content (not all), and maybe learn how to actually produce their shows without bleeding themselves dry bc the fans watch for THEM not the "production value"

[loulovingho]

I 100% agree with you that that was lazy writing. What was the point of deliberately picking someone the audience (and the 118) were familiar with to be Buck's LI when they could have picked some random. What was the point in delving into Tommy's history and his feelings, what was the point of showing him head over heels for Buck in the last ep, of getting a gift for their 6 month anniversary only to say "oh well, I figured we wouldn't last, so I'm gonna get out now before you break my heart". Why let him get that involved if Tommy's ideology was to never allow himself to move forward in the relationship because ultimately he thought it wouldn't last? It's whiplash for the audience after you saw how INVESTED Tommy was in the last ep! And how exactly is this Buck getting off the hamster wheel? This relationship has ended pretty much exactly like all his others - he gets invested, they leave! They had so much potential as a couple - seeing what it's like for two fire-fighters to date knowing they're both in risky jobs, maybe Buck having to meet/deal with Tommy's homophobic father, getting to explore a "new" character's back story instead of rehashing the same story lines from the mains as well as seeing more of how Buck deals with being in a same sex relationship. All wasted.

And since they referenced Glee, if the plan is for it to echo the Kurt/Blaine relationship in that show where they broke up so they could "explore" before getting back together, by doing so they ruined that relationship so much that by the end it wasn't satisfying that they WERE endgame - they weren't the couple we fell in love with. (And also, way to reinforce the negative stereotype of "you can't ever be long term with your first". I should let my sister, my cousin and my aunt know even though they've all been married for years to their husbands - all their first.) Even if they do decide to bring Tommy back down the line, would it even be the same relationship we fell in love with? Would we even trust the writers to stick with it and treat it well? Or if they did a final episode reunion so Buck doesn't end the series alone, how is that satisfying for the audience?

I have been watching 911 since it started, and I have always been part of the general audience up until S7 where I joined the fandom because I thought Buck/Tommy were adorable. It's the first time in years I've become invested in a couple on a show. It's the first time in years that I've dipped my toes back into a fandom. Like you, this ship inspired me to write fic again. I have a bunch of wip's waiting to be posted on ao3 and I honestly don't know if I'll finish them now. And if they have broken them up for Buddie to get together I think I'll stop watching. And not just because I never saw them as a romantic couple (I only ever saw a deep friendship) but because logistically I don't see it working. Besides the fact that I think that while they work as friends, they probably wouldn't gel as a couple, two people on the same team in a relationship? That will screw up the 118 dynamic, especially as this show looooves relationship drama. If they get in a fight, or worse, break up, then what? How would that work within the 118, unless someone transfers out, but then it's bye bye the 118 we love. And not to mention, in the only 4 months I have been in this fandom I have seen some VILE crap from the buddies, and from what I understand it they've been like that for years. And the show runners know about it, so if they go with Buddie, congratulations, you've rewarded toxic behaviour and given them a license to be worse (look at them already, going in the bucktommy tags and gloating).

I told myself after Glee ended and they royally screwed everything up that I wouldn't watch another Ryan Murphy show because he has a history of doing that sort of thing. When 911 came along I was cautious, but it looked like it would be different - more grown up if you will, especially since Ryan Murphy hasn't really been involved since season 1. I should have just gone with my gut. I just hope that, knowing these last two eps were filmed weeks before they aired, the showrunners see how popular they were and realise crap, we've made a BIG mistake. (Everyone should flood instagram and especially Facebook, whoch is more GA than most social media platforms, with RESPECTFUL comments about how devastated they are, and who knows, it might make them consider bringing Tommy back sometime in 8b - I believe they're still writing the back half of the season.)

Side note, I feel really sorry for Lou. Yeah he's going back to SWAT, and I love him in that (even though his character can be a dick sometimes) but he's said in interviews how he's tired of always being cast as "the muscle" due to his size and he seemed genuinely happy to get this role, which was exactly what he was looking for - the sweet, caring, romantic love interest role where he could show some depth, and they screwed him over (sounds like he even thought Buck and Tommy were doing well and wasn't expecting the break up until the end).

(Apologies for the long rant. But what you've been saying really resonated with me and I needed to share your sentiments.)

.

[sunsetkerr]

SAMMY'S GIRL (ii) | s.kerr

summary: MORE headcanons on your relationship with sam, read part one here.

pairing: fem!reader x sam kerr

notes: getting out lots of little headcanons because they're just so much fun to do. sammy's girl is my favourite of all my girls (completely bias, sorry) but if you want to see what other 'wags' are in my lil universes, check out my masterlists!! each 'wag' is also going to get their own tag, so check those out for little file facts, or ask questions/send thoughts so we can add to them all!! lots of love

as previously established, you’ve grown up with sam right

you’ve known her through every little phase and every weird obsession she’s ever had

you know her deepest secrets and she knows yours

its honestly quite jarring because you both know each other better than you know yourselves

you’re not at sporty as sam, only relaly dabbling in school netball for carnivals and stuff when they needed extra girls

but sam would try and include you as much as she could in all aspects of her career

if she was having a solo gym day, or just going on a walk

guess whos coming with!?!!!

its you!!!!!!

if she wants a swim at the beach for recovery

she is making sure that you tag along

(not just to see you in your bathers, its for recovery, have some professionalism please)

sam has spent half of her life without you and having to settle for seeing you through a screen

so once you’re in london with her permanently, she is making the most of that

she needs to shower? you’re passing her body wash

she’s hungry? shes making two servings and you’re eating with her

she wants a coffee? youre heading to your favourite spot

you are always around

and sam isn’t having it if you’re not

when she does have to go away?

youre getting texts from guro, erin and millie complaining about her

‘omg she wont shut up about you’

‘if sam doesn’t stop talking im gonna clock her y/n, i won’t be held responsible for my actions’

‘she’s at a new level of pathetic, please come get your girl’

but they understand, they love you too

the entirety of the chelsea squad know you’re at every game

they have a dedicated seat for you in the family and friends section

everyone is away that it’s your seat

millie’s fiancée wards people away from it

he once had to face the consequences of sitting in your seat

he wouldn’t wish an angry emma hayes or sam kerr upon anyone

but its not all about sam

she is just your biggest cheerleader

you were able to finish your degree online and were lucky enough that your credentials in australia carried over to the uk 

so you started working there

im picturing sports journalism???????? you were forced to be around sport your entire life that it kinda just became a natural thing

you were so well-informed on so many different sports it was crazy

sam loved plugging anything you were writing

you posted a new article? she’s sharing that shit on her instagram story

you won an award for a piece? she’s at the ceremony

you’re working overtime to get a project finished? she’s ordering you dinner to the office

as much as sam is a professional and very famous athlete

she’s still just sammy to you

and she’s never forgotten that

but to her, you are the best thing to ever happen to planet earth

and she makes sure that everyone knows

living with sam is lots of fun

you relish in all of the time you get to spend together

call it making up lost time

sure, she leaves her stuff everywhere

but you’re guilty of that too

you still hold each other accountable

‘sam you didn’t do the dishes’

‘okay and you didn’t hang out the laundry’

‘… fair enough’

making dinner together is just chaotic 

sam can only cook breakfast, she excels at smashed avocado

so she really lets you take the reins on dinners 

she succumbs to the sou-chef life

you force her to watch movies with you

she argues and says that tv shows are better

(even though you know she’s completely invested in whatever film you’ve chosen)

you have a little brother who just idolises sam

and he has since the day he was born

he was a classic accident child, a real surprise for your parents

but watching him grow up was just the best

hes the biggest women’s soccer fan you know

he’s up-to-date on all of the woso drama

definitely can tell you the entire timeline and drama of the mcfoord relationship 

so when he’s old enough

sam flies him over to the uk all the time

he just loves sam so much

he wears her jersey to every game, saying he doesn’t want anyone elses

(maybe maccas, but that’s a different story)

and sam is estatic to have him there

definitely walks out with him as her mascot on multiple occasions

sam isn’t super touchy feely in front of others

but when shes drunk, she can’t help it

she just wants to hold you and she doesn’t care who’s around to see it

sam really loves watching men at bars or in clubs try to hit on you

just to go and ruin their fun

it’s her favourite pastime really

sam’s extra sappy and clingy when tired

after a big night or a tiring game, she wants to curl up next to you and have you hold her until she falls asleep

sometimes it’s a foreign feeling for you

sam is almost always the big spoon

so you really drink in the feeling whenever she feels vulnerable enough to let you hold her for a change

sam is also extra attentive when you’re not feeling well

she’s so doting and always checking in on you

if shes around, you’re being waited on hand and foot

‘are you okay? do you have a temp?’

‘let me get you some water’

‘i don’t like the sound of that cough, y/n’

if she’s away for a game, your phone does not stop ringing

she’s always texting when she has a spare minute 

and if she has more than ten minutes to spare, she’s calling you to see how you are

sam just adores you

the fans adore you even more

the amount of tiktok edits of you and sam are crazy

the one of you in the stands after her goal against england in the world cup went viral

the way you jumped out of your seat and almost threw yourself over the barrier was on the news the next day

the clip continuing as sam ran over to your section, as you both shouted in celebration to each other

or the clips in the matildas doco series of the two of you

the lesbians went feral for that shit

everyone wants what you have

everyone wants you

you are that bitch

sam knows it too

and she’s not afraid to let people know just who you are

because you’re hers 

forever and always

[terresdebrume]

I think I want to point at the elephant in the room today

The problem when we have the ever more frequent conversation of how to keep a fandom alive after the show it's based on stops airing is that we tend talk about it in a way that ignores the very real differences between the juggernauts of old fandoms like Star Trek and newer shows like Dead Boy Detectives, namely:

1. The difference in amount of material

2. The accessibility of said material

Part of the reason why Star Trek or The X-Files still have active fans so long after they aired is because those shows had multiple seasons with an average of 20 episodes each. For the X-Files' 11 seasons that's about 200 episodes each with their own storylines, themes, interesting ideas and frustrating mistakes right there to inspire Fanart, fic, meta, and any number of fanwork. I'm not even going to do the math on Star Trek: this show got about a bazillion shows

Dead Boy Detectives, and a lot of genre shows nowadays have like... Eight episodes. Ten, if we're lucky. Fandoms for procedurals or more broadly appealing shows fare better (Lone Star comes to mind, or sitcoms for example) because networks tend to keep them online longer, but genre series get ever shorter with ever fewer opportunities to really grow an audience... Think of all the shows that got popular on Tumblr in the past few years and tell me how many got a proper season? Shadow and Bones was cancelled. My Lady Jane: one season. Gentleman Jack, two (three?). Good Omens: maybe 3, depending on how the network handle the Gaiman situation. The Umbrella Academy got four seasons. Stranger Things, with 5 seasons and 42 episodes managed to equate roughly 2 seasons of the X-Files (probably not even that if you account for episode length). The Witcher currently has 3 seasons for 24 episodes.

Contrast this to shows like Dead Boy Detectives with, again, eight episodes. Maybe 16 if we get really lucky, but I'm not holding my breath. This is just materially WAY LESS soil for a fandom to grow in. It's not that people aren't motivated, it's that as much as you want to keep it going, there's only so much to say about 8 episodes! George Rexstrew, who plays one of the leads, even recently admitted that he's running out of things to say about his performance, and who can blame him? So after a while, you gotta turn to AU which by definition are always going to be potential hits and misses, since they diverge from what brought people to the show in the first place.

I know we're all real good at spinning yarn but sometimes it gets really hard not to run out of fiber.

As for accessibility: the Big Olds benefitted from two things. One, they were broadcast on much wider-reaching channels, if not from the start, then when they eventually made it on public networks. They had a regular play time, and you could stumble onto them by accident, this getting interested and picking it up. And two: the popular shows had a decent chance of getting tape or DVD sets, which made them easier to own and show to your friends so they could binge the story and join you in the fandom

By comparison, look at the barrier of access for Dead Boy Detectives:

Need to have a Netflix account

Need to see it somewhere in your recommendation (good luck if you come in more than a month after it released)

Need to see people talk about it as they binge (need to be in the right place at the right time, and by that I mean where fandom happens since Netflix has a habit of doing zero advertising for new shows)

Need to keep paying for a Netflix account if you wanna rewatch, or figure out how to do a piracy, which is getting more difficult and riskier every year

Need to be willing to get invested in a forever unfinished story

And when on top of that the writing in the first episode is, let's say it frankly, far from the best, that is a LOT of obstacle to overcome for a pretty small sandbox

So like, yeah, sure, we should be willing to keep making a fandom happen after a show ends, but at some point we can't ignore that the effort it takes to keep fandoms alive is getting way more intense than it used to be

[yuna542]

Connected (OT8 x reader)

Part 22<-

Part 23

Pairing: Chan x Reader

Genre: Smut, Fluff, Angst, COMFORT

Warnings: 18+, Smut, under 18 DNI!, pet names, Suggestive Themes, Swearing, Overstimulation, Jealousy, ANGST, explicit smut, confessions, fluff

Word Count: 8.1k

Note: Mh. This Part was pure therapy for me… I really hope I could make up for the last Parts and the emotional trauma I put you through. It’s unbelievable how many people are invested in my work. Thank you so much! Every comment, reblog etc motivates me to keep going.

On your first day of your new job as the personal manager of Stray Kids, you didn't expect to be standing in front of the man you made out with last night in a club. But it soon becomes clear that the Stray Kids don't just want you as their manager.

Will this passionate arrangement end your career?

You laid in your bed with your cell phone firmly in your hand, but you avoided looking at the screen as if something might jump out of it and attack you.

Your gaze had been fixed on the ceiling for some time, and you tried to think of something other than Chan and the argument. The aching in your head was by now unbearable and you wanted to stop so bad, that you thought about getting something out of the minibar. You would violate your strict no-alcohol rule on tour. But what else had any meaning at all?

After you returned from the beach, Felix had gone straight back to his room to call his family and talk about the concert they would attend tomorrow and Han had disappeared into the hotel gym with Changbin.

When you returned to your hotel room to check your notifications, you noticed the message from Chan.

It was from last night, when you were already fast asleep.

"I'm with my family. I'll see you at the show. Get some rest and watch the boys for me. ~Chan

You instantly felt shabby. He had let you know despite your argument and you had just read over it and then blamed him because you were just caught up with your anger at him.

Just his name on your screen caused such an extreme feeling of emptiness inside you that you felt sick and you missed him with your entire soul, even though you had seen him just a few hours ago. The argument and that you couldn't just go to him, talk to him only made it worse.

As soon as you saw he was online, you almost threw your phone across the room. When he called just a second after, your body was paralyzed.

You didn't manage to answer, afraid of what he might say to you.

As soon as his name disappeared from your phone again and a missed call was displayed, you kicked the blanket off yourself like a petulant child and cried out of anger.

Anger at yourself. Anger against the world.

You hadn't picked up the phone since, and the carousel of worry ran incessantly in your head.

You were absolutely dreading the show tomorrow and the only thing you wanted right now was to look Chan in the eye, feel his heartbeat and breathe in his scent.

Looking out the window, you realized that dusk would soon be setting in and the hotel room suddenly felt awfully cramped. When your head was about to burst, you dared to look at your cell phone again, but there was no message from Chan. At least not for you.

On Bubble, on the other hand, he had written a message just a few seconds after the call.

"Today Channies Room from a special place. Anyone who needs distraction too is welcome. 6pm?"

Distraction? Did that have something to do with you or were you now completely delusional?

Glancing at the clock, you scooted over to your laptop and flipped it open. The stream had been running for a few minutes and you just wanted to watch it.

After a few clicks, his face actually appeared and your heart leapt when you saw his curly hair and tired smile. He was talking to Stay and just explained that he was in his old bedroom at home now that you were finally in Australia.

He looked stunning in just a hoodie, with those mesmerizing eyes and bare face. It was unfair how someone this kind and humble could be that beautiful.

Mutely you listened to his voice and caught yourself smiling as he sheepishly responded to cute comments or joked around with fans. You loved to listen to his little stories, telling everyone about the many medals behind him, he won at swimming competitions, about his family and how his mom cried when he surprised her today.

Still, there remained a dull underlying mood that he couldn't hide. Quickly, there were also a lot of questions all over the comments asking if everything was okay with him.

He cleared his throat and propped his head on his hands before reading aloud:

"Is everything okay?"

He thought for a few seconds about the best thing to say, but his familiar surroundings and distance from JYP made him let his walls down a bit.

"To be honest, it could be better. Actually, I shouldn't be telling this at all.... I had a fight with someone I care about a lot and because I'm too stubborn to realise it in time, I really screwed up.... I did something stupid and made it worse by being emotional and even more stupid."

Immediately there was wild speculation about who he might be talking about. The names of the boys were written in the comments, but especially your name appeared more and more often.

"No, no. Not with the menbers."

That was the answer to the question. It was obvious that he meant you, because no one else was on tour with him that was so important to him. The fans knew that, and by now everyone who read the Kpop News headlines knew that.

You sat up on the bed and stared spellbound at the screen.

Chan tilted his head a little, laughed sheepishly as he always did when he wanted to disguise his true feelings, and ran his hand through his hair.

"It's just that I really regret it, but I think it might already be too late to make up for everything.... And that would be terrible."

He made a small pause and you could hear your heart dropping to the floor.

„She's so special and I would love to tell her how important she is to me. How much I love everything about her and that she deserves so much more... I did her really wrong."

He was silent for a moment obviously drifting off and then quickly shook his head as he saw the comments escalate.

His words were already conjuring up tears again, even though you thought you had none left.

A desperate whiney: „Channie", escaped your trembling lips.

Suddenly, your field of vision became blurry and you sniffled emphatically as you frantically wanted to touch him, but your fingers only met the hard surface of your screen.

"I don't know... I just don't want to lose her. She's not only smart, beautiful and talented in everything she does. She's my best friend and I can't lose that. I don't know how I would move on. I just couldn't..."

That was enough to make you jump up from the bed and search your phone for old documents. You ran the back of your hand over your face while crying like a little kid and finally you found what you were looking for.

You grabbed your denim jacket, your bag, and closed your laptop before storming out of the hotel room and stopping a cab in front of the hotel.

At your tear-stained face, the driver frowned, but took the address without asking.

With the inside camera of your cell phone you tried to get your face back under control, but even when you got out of the car half an hour later, your eyes were still red.

Wearing only shorts and a much too large rumpled shirt from Changbin, you rang the front doorbell and with a glance at the doorbell sign, you automatically smiled.

An older woman with familiar brown eyes opened and peered suspiciously through the crack first.

"Hello?"

"Good evening. I'm really sorry for the intrusion, Mrs Bang. My name is..." but that's as far as you got, as she pulled open the door and her face lit up. You bowed apologetically several times, but she was already stepping out to you. The resemblance to Chan was now unmistakable and his radiance was reflected in her smile.

"I know who you are! Y/N! Chan has talked a lot about you. I recognize you from the picture he showed. You're just more beautiful in real life," she talked away and you smiled overwhelmed.

Chan had shown his family pictures of you and even talked about you?

"Come in quick! It's nice to finally meet you," she said and shooed you into the house.

Immediately you were enveloped by pleasant smells from the kitchen and you curiously looked around the hallway of the house.

Directly you discovered Chan's shoes and his backpack on the floor.

"Thank you very much. The pleasure is all mine."

After you kicked off your shoes, she led you into the living room where Mr. Bang was sitting on an armchair and looked up as soon as you entered. The little white-brown dog that Chan kept showing you pictures of immediately scurried around your feet and sniffed at you curiously.

"This is Y/L/N Y/N!", Mrs Bang introduced you and Mr Bang raised his eyebrows. Your mere name was enough and they knew who you were. That was strange but kind of nice. You couldn't help but kneel down to the cute puppy and pet him until she wagged her tail excitedly. "Hey Berry. Nice to finally meet you," you said, giggling when she licked your cheek.

"Chris didn't say anything about his manager coming to visit," Chan‘s Dad said, and you stood up and bowed respectfully, your cheeks flushed. Chan's father exuded the same competence that he did, only he didn't radiate that warmth that everybody immediately sensed when they were around Chan. But it was obvious that he had been just as handsome as a young man.

"That's right. He doesn't know I'm here, but I really need to talk to him. This couldn't wait. I'm really sorry if I'm interrupting, Mr Bang," you apologized, but his wife waved you off and stroked your back reassuringly.

„Oh nonsense! You're just in time. We'll be eating soon. I hope you're hungry."

Then you were not mistaken and the delicious smell came from the kitchen where Mrs. Bang was cooking.

"Thank you, that's very kind," you said, feeling a gaze on you.

Turning around, you saw a young woman with dark hair, big eyes and the unmistakable features of Chan. She was leaning against the doorjamb with her arms crossed, looking at you with a mysterious smile.

"Hannah say hello, this is Chris's manager," Mrs Bang said when she saw the young woman as well. She pushed herself off the door frame and came toward you.

"I know who she is. You really are as pretty as in the videos..." she murmured, holding out her hand to you. She was your age and you wanted to meet her since Chan told you a lot about her. Actually you seemed to be very alike and it was almost like you already knew each other.

With cheeks flushed with excitement, you took her hand and smiled.

"I'm Hannah. The idiot's sister."

You nodded, and the same warmth that Chan radiated was palpable in her. But she was confident and firm, even though she was a little younger than you.

"Can I go see him? I really need to talk to him," you asked, and she leaned against the doorframe again. Her intense gaze seemed to scan you until she said:

"He's in his room. Talking to his fans."

"Thanks."

You could hardly stand it any longer. All the tension made you tremble, and you went up the stairs to where Hannah had pointed.

Outside the door you heard his voice already muffled and without thinking further you rushed into the room and as you saw Chan in front of his computer, eyes wide and a confused look on his face a sob ripped from your throat. He jumped up and ran a few steps towards you, but you had already thrown yourself at him and wrapped your arms around him. Confused, he froze and after a few seconds he returned your embrace firmly. You buried your face in the crook of his neck, your body shaken with relieved sobs as you tried to be as close to him as possible.

Completely surprised, he sucked in your scent, enjoying feeling your body against his at last, holding your slim waist and wrapping his big arms around you, even if he didn't understand how you could suddenly appear at his family's house.

"Y/N what? How...?" he stammered, overwhelmed, but you only pressed yourself tighter against his chest until you were standing on tiptoe.

"I'm so sorry... so sorry," you whispered and his strong arms held you so tightly that all your fear and sadness vanished into thin air. You were with him and that was enough.

When his arms slid down your back and you loosened a little to look him in the eyes, he gulped loudly. Your eyes were bloodshot from all the crying, your lips swollen and your heart racing so he could feel it against his chest.

You were beautiful and he cupped your face with both hands, wanting to kiss every tear of yours away and never let you go again.

But then he remembered the stream again. Panicked, he looked at the screen. The chat was going crazy and the comments were popping up so fast that you couldn't read anything.

You could only be seen from the chest down and you were barely in the picture, yet it was clear who was lying there in his arms, who he was holding so tightly and he gently detached himself from you to lean in front of the camera and said:

"Okay I have to end the stream now unfortunately. I'll see you next time. Stays and Baby Stays! Big hug!"

He did his typical goodbye and as soon as he turned off the computer, he turned back to you, still unable to comprehend that you were now actually standing in his old room where he spent half his childhood.

"What are you doing here?" he asked in a soft voice, coming up to you.

"I was watching the stream. Heard what you said about me. Chan I'm so sorry."

When your voice shook and he saw how tense your fingers were closed around the hem of your shirt, he quickly pulled you close, put his hands on your hips and leaned his forehead against yours.

"No... I acted like an asshole. I'm sorry, baby. It was my fault from the beginning. I should have told you about the kiss, then I would have told you straight up that it didn't mean anything because I only want to kiss you! I want you and nothing else! I am selfish and stupid. I want you to be jealous like I am when I see you with someone other than my members. I want you to want me as much as I want you..."

The words he should have said to you in the hotel, or even earlier, finally burst forth and your breath rattled as you clasped your hands in his neck.

He looked into your eyes, stroked your cheek and the contours of your face that he had missed so much, and now as you smiled with relief his heart fluttered like a wild bird in his chest.

"I do. Chan I can't go on without you. The last few hours have been hell. Why did you do that? Why did you just leave?"

The guilty conscience he had felt all along returned violently and he pulled you onto his lap as he sat down on the edge of his bed, caressing your thighs and enjoying the way your body nestled perfectly against his.

"I thought it would be best to stay away. You didn't seem like you wanted me around."

"Now I'm here..."

He laughed incredulously and ran his hands through his hair. He looked outrageously handsome in the hoodie and sweatpants, which made you bite your lips as he leaned back a bit to get a closer look at you.

"This is incredible. You're here... You're actually here! How do you even know where my family lives?"

You smiled and played with the rings on his fingers. Holding his hand tightly in yours, you intertwined his hand with yours.

"You told me a few times to send flowers to your mother."

Chan nodded slowly and smiled so brightly that you exhaled heavily.

"True... Sometimes I forget that you're my manager."

You let go of his hand, leaning forward and nuzzling his neck before lightly touching his with your lips.

"Me too..."

You both grinned, each other's breath colliding against your lips, and that's when you finally kissed him. It was like a thousand butterflies were buzzing around in your stomach and the reason for your tears was barely tangible anymore.

He pulled you back with him until he was on his back, stroking his hands under the gray shirt and caressing your skin all over, with his fingertips, while biting your bottom lip. Sighing, you nestled your body against him until your chest was pressed tightly against his, opened your lips a little and already your tongues were meeting, playing with each other, and you were lost in a whirlpool of feelings.

His warmth, the tangy smell of his perfume mixed with his own smell let everything bubble up in you.

You absorbed everything in you. His body beneath you, his strong arms wrapped tightly around you, every movement and every breath.

Pure happiness flooded you and Chan's presence enclosed you in your own world. No one could take this moment from you and as you continued to deepen the kiss, touching each other, caressing, the heat inevitably rose.

The touches became fiercer, more demanding and you felt how much he had missed you.

You didn't know how long you just laid there, kissing and touching. Your bodies intertwined as Chan let out a deep grumble and firmly grabbed your ass with both hands.

Softly you gasped out as he pressed your hips against his in such a way that you could clearly feel his hard length against your cunt through the fabric of his sweatpants.

"I missed you so fucking much," he whispered, his eyes like jet black tar, glued to you and never going to let you go.

His hair was curly, messy, his skin soft and shiny.

You loved it when he dreamily studied your features, as if nothing else mattered.

"I'm here, and I'm not leaving," you assured him, playing with the collar of his hoodie. He was wearing way too many clothes.

You longed for the warmth of his skin on yours.

"Good... You are mine. You belong to me and my members. I want you to know that I only have eyes for you. Not for that stylist or anyone else."

You smiled softly, waving it off:

"It's all good, Chan. I believe you."

You didn't want him to worry anymore. The arrangement was dangerous enough as it was. He couldn't and shouldn't commit himself or even tell a potential admirer that he was taken.

But Chan's expression turned serious. All the things you had said in the argument played over and over in his head for the last few hours like a horror movie.

Suddenly he grabbed you by the waist, turned you until you were under him and looked you so deeply in the eyes that you swallowed loudly.

"You're not just a fuck toy to me. You are so much more! You are the sun... fuck it, the whole universe to me."

He sounded desperate, like he couldn't even begin to put into words what he was feeling. His fingers moved gently across your shoulders, up your neck until they reached your cheeks. You closed your eyes and leaned into his hand, losing yourself in the moment. At a loss for words, the intensity in his eyes threatening to crush you, you smiled and murmured:

"Sounds like song lyrics."

Chan snorted in amusement and kissed your temple:

"You're right. I should write that down."

At that, you shook your head slightly, wrapping your legs around his hips and pulling him to you.

"Not now..."

He immediately returned the kiss stormily. You grew hungrier, all the tension transferred into pure energy and lust that carried you away on a cloud.

You slid your hands under his hoodie and he helped you take it off. Finally you could touch his abs, roaming your fingertips over them until he gasped and he too slid his hands inside your shorts, tight to your ass until they slid up and he could grab a handful, with the other hand he pushed the shirt up until he grabbed your chest and you groped each other greedily, floating higher and higher into desire and as you rolled your hips against his you felt how aroused he was.

"Fuck I'm so hard.... Thought about you so much," he panted against your ear, kissing your neck and kneading your chest until a loud gasp escaped you. Your body and his were so close that they melted into each other.

"Thought about your soft skin..." he whispered and sucked on your neck, pressing his dick right against your cunt.

"Your sweet scent... Fuck and your pussy. I need to fuck you so bad," he panted, grinded his hips against yours until you clenched your hands against his back.

"Channie..." you gasped, your head filled only with desire.

"Sorry to bother you, but dinner's ready if you're hungry."

Startled, you both froze and looked to the door, where Hannah stood with her arms crossed and a big grin on her face.

Chan was trying to cover you up as best he could, but you couldn't come up with a meaningful lie as to why he was lying on top of you half-naked, his hands everywhere he weren't supposed to touch his manager.

"Hannah out! Now!" he yelled at her, but she just giggled and examined you.

"It's okay. Relax. You are lucky it's just me. You guys better come. Otherwise mom will come upstairs."

With those words, she disappeared and you pressed both heels of your hands to your eyes, your head flushed.

Chan closed his eyes and took a deep breath.

"I'm sorry about that," he muttered, and when your eyes finally met, you couldn't help but laugh heartily.

Chuckling, he buried his face against your neck and wrapped his arms tightly around you.

"Come on, we better not keep my parents waiting," he murmured, pressing a kiss to your stomach, then he looked up at you, eyes shining, and you felt weightless as you nodded.

As soon as you entered the kitchen, your stomach growled at the smell of the feast Mrs. Bang had prepared.

"There you are. Sit down and help yourselves before it gets cold!" she said, and you tried your best to ignore Hannah's intense gaze. You sat down, you across from Chan, next to Mr Bang and Hannah.

Once you were all seated, you tilted your head:

"Thank you for the food and the spontaneous hospitality."

Mr Bang started to eat and waved off:

"Don't mention it. We know how much you do for our Chris."

Chan smirked:

"I don't think so"

Directly your cheeks reddened treacherously as Chan was already grinning into his Miso soup.

"That's true. Chan always tells us about you. How hard you work and take care of the boys."

Your heart beat faster and Chan just stared at you with a big grin.

"That's my job and the boys are like my family now," you told them and the Bangs listened intently.

Then Hannah tilted her head:

"But you and Chris get along particularly well?"

You almost choked on the kimchi you had shoved in your mouth and Chan gave Hannah a warning look. But his parents also looked interested.

"Um... I get along with everyone really well. We live together, after all."

"How can you stand it? With eight young men?" sighed Mrs. Bang, shaking her head anxiously. You smirked a little then.

"It's exhausting sometimes, but they all always look out for me. And we work so much that it's actually rather nice when we see each other in the dorm."

Chan looked relieved and his shoulders slumped. His eyes kept wandering over your face, your body, and he wanted so much to tell his family how much he adored you. That you weren't just a valued friend and manager, but the person who gave him everything he needed.

"I hope so," Mr. Bang gave Chan a sharp look.

"Where are you sleeping tonight?" asked then Hannah curiously, and Chan kicked her shin under the table, making her hiss.

"She can sleep in my bed, I'll take the couch in my room."

Chan's parents seemed pleased with that, only Hannah raised her eyebrows in disbelief.

"Really? I thought you guys..."

But she fell silent as Chan stared at her warningly. Your cheeks were glowing by now, and you tried to distract yourself with the omelet, which tasted impossibly good.

The silence grew more oppressive, as did the frowns of the siblings' parents, so you unceremoniously cleared your throat, drawing attention to yourself.

"We'll have to leave bright and early tomorrow. Rehearsals for the performance start at 9."

Quickly, the questioning looks turned to vehement nods.

"Oh yes!"

Mrs. Bang's face beamed.

"We're already so excited to be able to see Chris live tomorrow."

Chan smiled and you could see nervousness flash in his eyes for the first time in a long time.

"So how does it work tomorrow?" asked Mr. Bang with interest, to which you replied:

"You will be picked up by a shuttle and then taken backstage with Felix's family before the show. For the show, I've picked out the best seats for all the family members."

Excitedly, Mrs Bang laughed and Hannah smiled too. Mr Bang nodded and you looked at Chan who was looking at you with affection.

The meal took its course, there was chatter and Chan's family treated you warmly, making you feel right at home.

But you didn't miss Chan nervously wiggling his foot, clearing his throat several times when his mother didn't stop asking you questions about JYPE or about Chan and the boys.

He was impatient, couldn't bear to just look at you now after pining for you for the past few days.

He wanted to kiss your lips, touch your skin until you gasped and finally escape the scrutiny of his family.

Finally, as Mrs. Bang was about to start a new question, just as the conversation about choosing the right outfits was finishing, he slapped both palms on the table and stood up:

"That was very tasty, Mom. Thank you. But we really should get to sleep. It's going to be a long day tomorrow."

You looked down into your lap to hide the telltale grin.

After helping clean up, you said your goodbyes for the night, but before you were really out of the room, Chan grabbed you and threw you over his shoulder.

Gasping, you clawed at his back as he pressed his hands tightly against your lower legs.

"Channie! What are you doing?" you giggled as he carried you up the stairs.

"I can't stand it another second. I need you, now, under me, naked."

He opened the door and pushed it shut with his foot, then tossed you onto his bed, literally ripping the shirt off his body.

You smiled excitedly and eyed his toned stomach.

"I have some things to make up for. I acted like an idiot and I need to show you that I'm sorry."

You slowly fell onto your back as he climbed over you and the grinned meanly.

"You got that right."

He snorted and bit your neck, making you giggle.

You greedily ran your hands up his abs, over his shoulders, and his biceps hovering next to your head.

He just looked at you, his face just a hand's width away from yours, his eyes shining like a whole galaxy and his curls tempting you to touch them. You dreamily stroked your index finger down his cheeks, over his lips and to his chin. You had missed this so much and now you knew that you could never live without him again. Your heart wanted him and in the last few days you would rather die than fight with him.

"You mean the whole fucking world to me, you know that?"

His voice was raspy, honest, and your cheeks turned red.

"Stop it, Channie... You're making me blush."

You tried to hide your face in your hands, but he unceremoniously pushed them aside.

"No. I want you to know that. I never want you to doubt that I want you again! I trust you with parts of myself I'm afraid to show anyone else. And I know I'm not the only one of us there."

Your heart pounded so loudly you had to swallow. His body weight rested comfortably on yours and you returned his eye contact.

"I'm afraid of losing you. I was so afraid of hurting you so much that I lost you.... I don't deserve you after everything I've done..."

He shook his head, desperation in his eyes, and you put a hand on his chest, right over his heart, so he was looking at you.

"I'm yours. Not going anywhere."

After so long of not having togetherness, the stress and work always kept you from it, even though you lived under the same roof. That's exactly why right now, this moment was so special.

He nodded slowly, seeming to calm down. You pulled him closer until he wrapped his arms tightly around your waist, buried his face against your neck, and took a deep breath. This embrace, his chest against yours, his body on top of yours was as intimate as anything you'd ever felt in your life. You stroked his soft curls, heard his soft grumble and kissed his cheek, hoping not to burst into tears with emotion.

Suddenly, Chan's cell phone rang on the nightstand. But he did not move. Didn't dare to take his arms from you. You were more important right now.

However, who would call in the middle of the night if it wasn't important?

"Chan? This must be important," you mumbled, but he just grumbled and pulled you even closer.

Sighing, you stretched and got hold of the cell phone. You recognized Changbin's name on the screen and handed it to Chan after you answered the call.

He straightened up a bit, groaned, and then put the phone to his ear.

"Yes?"

Changbin's voice sounded excited, worried.

"Y/N has disappeared. Do you know where she is? Hyunjin said she's not in her room and she's not in Felix's bed either. We searched the whole hotel, but she just left without saying anything."

Immediately you slapped your hand over your mouth. You hadn't thought of that at all when you had left in a hurry. The boys were probably worried all along.

"She's here. With me."

"Oh... Good."

Changbin sounded puzzled, yet equally relieved.

"She's with Chan," he clarified to the listeners in the background.

"All right. I'm relieved then. I'll see you tomorrow."

"See you tomorrow."

Chan hung up and you exhaled with a guilty conscience.

"Shit I just took off without telling them..."

Chan brushed the strands of hair from your face and kissed your lips briefly.

"It's all good. Now they know."

You smiled at the warmth in his smile and pulled him down to kiss you. Quickly the kiss grew more heated and he finally pulled your shirt over your head to look at your breasts.

"No bra huh?" he asked with a raised eyebrow, cupping one of your breasts with his large hand.

"I was in a hurry," you laughed, wrapping your legs around his hips to pull him closer. The heat between your legs was by now unbearable and there you felt that he was also struggling with his arousal the whole time. His presence and touch felt just as you remembered it, warm and hard, yet strangely soft and comforting at the same time.

He began kissing your neck, letting his lips brush lovingly over your skin, hissing as you rolled your hips against his.

"Fuck I was so hard the whole evening..."

You shuddered as he sank his teeth into the sensitive spot behind your ear.

"You just have to promise me you'll never touch Mina again, or look at her," you muttered and that's when he lifted his head and frowned with a smirk.

"Babe she's our stylist..."

Yes it was childish, but you were jealous as hell and couldn't help it. On the side you pulled down his pants, which he watched with wide eyes.

"I know... It just drives me crazy. She's into you and she's around you all the time and I can't even fire her because she's really good at her job and nice as hell."

He slipped out of his pants and grabbed your chin so you had to look at him.

"You're damn cute when you're jealous, did you know that?"

His deep voice and doting look made you melt as he lifted one corner of his mouth cheeky.

"I'm not jealous!" you quickly shot back, even though you both knew that was a lie.

"It's just... Fuck you're mine."

Chan's eyes grew big and took on an intense sparkle. The air was forced out of your lungs as his lips crashed hard against yours and he touched your body passionately, pulling you closer and licking into your mouth as if he wanted to devour you. His hand now hovered above your wet core as he worked his way to cup your heat through the thin material of your panties.

"Take your pants off, right now!" he growled against your lips and you instantly got goosebumps all over your body. Quickly, with his help, you slipped out of your shorts and he hurriedly rolled your panties off your legs until you were naked beneath him.

"God. So fucking gorgeous." His left thumb filed on autopilot and landed on your clit. He ran his thumb up and down through your soaked folds. You murmured his name shamelessly as he put his thumb flat on your clit before starting to rub gentle circles on it.

"Sorry baby girl, I can't wait a second longer, if you talk to me like that..." he whispered and slipped out of his boxers. You almost forgot how massive and powerful his hard length was in contrast to your body. You bit your lower lip as he stroked his fingers through your wet folds and wetted his dick with your juices.

He propped himself up next to your head and lined himself up with your entrance. Then he looked deep into your eyes.

"Normally I'd take better care of you, but you're driving me crazy right now.... I won't be able to hold on for long."

You smiled, because you felt the same way. You needed him to light you up. He had to infuse you with life energy again, otherwise you would surely perish.

"Now's your chance to apologize appropriately," you breathed, grinning teasingly. He snorted.

"Oh I will. What do you want baby girl? Tell me? What have you been craving all this time?" he said, his voice barely a raspy whisper. He knew the answer to your question, he could read it on your face, smell it in the air, feel it in the vein in your neck that throbbed rapidly beneath his fingers. But still, he needed to be sure he was right, hear from your lips the plea for his caresses. He needed to know that you were as desperate as he was.

"You! I want you. All of you and only for me. I want your touch, your cock pounding deep inside me.... Please."

Your stifled gasps he intercepted with a kiss as he pressed his tip into you, sliding inch by inch inside you. He stretched you, seeming to tear your walls apart as he sunk deeper and deeper. You wrapped your legs around his waist, your arms around his neck, pulled yourself against him until there was not a breath of space between you, no place where you're not touching. You nipped at his earlobe just to watch the shiver race down his back,

But he distracted you from the burning pain with loving kisses, his tongue played with yours and you clawed your fingernails into his back as he sank all the way into you.

"Oh god... fuck... Channie... so big," you groaned out as he was balls deep inside you, making you catch your breath. You wrapped your legs tighter around his body and he pressed a reassuring kiss to your forehead.

"Taking me so well... You're so good for me baby girl. Now let me make you feel good."

With that he began to move his hips. However, slowly and not violently as usual. He kept eye contact, enjoying your soft whimper as he thrusted into you again, deep and savoring every second where your warm pussy sucked him in.

He thrusted slowly but deeply and the world began to drift into the background. You felt only his warm skin, smelled only his cinnamon scent and the passion that made you press your hips against him.

"Is this okay?" he asked softly, kissing your soft lips, aware of your body trembling beneath him.

Quickly you nodded, pulling him closer with your legs, pressing your heels against his butt in the process.

"Don't stop! I need you. Please."

Your pleading twisted his mind, your body made him gasp and he moved his hips again. The tip of his cock slowly started to glide into your tight walls again and this allowed him to lay his head on your shoulder and tuck his face into your warm and familiar neck.

Now he felt your soft boobs press into his skin and groaned at the warm feeling it brought him. Chan took your words as a permission to start rocking his hips with yours and it made you let out a gasp of pleasure. This time the sex with Chan was very different than before. He was not fast, heated full of passion and fire. He showed you the loving, caring side that sex had to offer. His movement velvety, deep and engaging. He enjoyed your whole existence, every detail, while he broke you apart completely. You moved in unison, he hit every sensitive spot until you moaned his name out loud, all the while he thrusted into you slowly, you two making your session thats been going on for who knows how long is getting more and more heated. His lips did an incredible job in leaving wet kisses all over your throat and collarbone. He straightened up a bit, his hands sliding down your body from your boobs to your waist, groping and feeling up your skin just so he could appreciate everything about you physically. Your arms around his neck, occasionally threading through his pretty dark curls as he liked looking at you while he fucked you senseless, with deep thrusts that completely silenced your head.

He looked deep into your eyes, rolled his hips and loved the way your thighs were squeezing around his hips. He started thinking about all the things he loved about you. Likewise he absolutely loved the look on your face as he slowly sunk his cock so deep inside of you that you rolled your eyes and treasured the tears that fell from your eyes as he pounded into you. He loved to feel your skin and see how small you looked in his arms.

"Channie I'm close..." you gasped, your fingers tightening on his back and barely fitting a sheet of paper between your bodies. Sweat stood on both of your foreheads, your bodies heated and as if perfectly fused into each other.

"God you're perfect... Come for me baby girl!" he moaned, snapping his hips harder and pulsing deep inside you.

Your fingernails dug deeper into his skin as he kissed you passionately again, you moaning into his mouth and he gripped your breast tightly with his hand. The kiss was soft and slow too, neither rushed nor hungry, and you loved it.

You had time for yourselves for the first time in ages and it was beautiful. Your fight had only brought you closer together and it was a carefree, happy moment in this stressful time.

So maybe that's why you were trying to draw this out as long as possible. To hold off on coming and live in the moment for a while longer. The bed is rocking slightly from the slow but sensual thrusting Chan was doing. Your nails began to claw at the skin of his bare back, making him hiss. He fucked you slow but hard, insistent, determined like he was trying to leave the imprint of himself inside of you long after he was gone.

Suddenly, a euphoric feeling washed over you and your orgasm crashed down on your body. Your body shook and spasmed under him and you had to bite down on his shoulder to conceal your moans. You thought for a moment about his parents, who were just a few doors away. As soon as your walls crushed him the blissful look on your face pushed him over the edge. He came harder than he ever had before, his muscles cramping and he had only bright white desire flooding his veins. He throbbed deep inside you, painted your walls white and looking you straight in the eyes as he gasped:

"Fuck I love you so much..."

You froze at his words, your heart nearly leaping out of your chest. His hips slowed down and rather than thrusting, they gradually just pressed into your hips, rutting back and forth slightly, creating added pressure to your bundle of nerves and extending both of your releases.

When you both came down from your high, breathing heavily, he was still deep inside you, hard and pulsating.

It took a few seconds for Chan to realize what he had just said as well. Cautiously, almost fearfully, he raised his eyes, looking for any reaction in your face, but you just stared at him with your mouth open.

"Channie... Did you just say..."

Your soul was on fire and he squeezed his eyes shut, sighing, finally finding the words again:

"Yes... Yes I think I did. And I mean it too. Don't worry, you don't have to answer that! I just want you to know how I feel."

Your hands trembled as you put them to Chan's cheeks, looking at him and falling in love with him all over again. Because there was no other way to express your feelings for him.

"But what if I tell you that I think I've really fallen in love with you? Hopelessly and head over heels."

His face beamed and he took a rattling breath.

"Really?"

You nodded.

"Yes. And the weird thing is, I feel that way about all of you. The extreme feelings, the affection, the desire.... I can't explain it any other way than love."

This seemed to please him even more. He chuckled, his lips collided with yours and he kissed you slowly and intensely. Like the tide that surrounded you, gripping your body and dragging you out into the sea of passion.

Nor did the heat in your veins, the moisture between your legs and the tension in your body diminish. In fact, you never feared getting enough of Chan, which is why you rolled your hips against his again until he moaned loudly as your walls nuzzled him.

"Do you want to keep going?" you asked, blushing at the wet sound that came as he pushed his cum and your juices deeper into you.

He growled dangerously, grabbing your hips and it elicited a naughty moan from you as he violently snapped his hips into yours.

"With a body like that it's a miracle you haven't brought me to the brink of insanity yet. Every time I see you my cock gets hard, its impossible not to think about fucking you day and night", he murmured and stroked your lower lip with his thumb. Then he kissed your neck, sucking on your soft skin until you saw stars and red marks remained. He became more and more addicted to leaving his marks on you. You didn't care if you had to spend the next week finding creative ways to hide the evidence of your sensual encounter, you just needed to feel him. You wanted him to mark you, to declare ownership over your body. Meanwhile you knew you belonged to him, always would and that this would not change. That was exactly what he had now made clear. No matter how many women flirted with him, you had the certainty that he would always come to you and would always choose you. He managed to communicate that to you without any words at all, and as he shook your insides with each thrust, you were just flooded with pure happiness.

One of the many things you loved about Chan was his duality. Last time he fucked you dumb, it was animalistic to say the least. But right now he was softer than he has ever been. He gently handled you as if you were a fragile porcelain doll.

You clung to his back as he seemed to reach deeper with each thrust. His smell, his skin against yours and the soft gasps with your whimpers was so intoxicating that you could do this forever.

But again the knot formed in your lower abdomen, so you pressed your body tightly against his and tried to push it back. But Chan fucked you too well and he was yours. He loved you and that was better than anything that could happen to you.

He felt your body tense and he looked back into your face, his fingers stroking your bare skin like a map he wanted to explore and uncover its secrets.

"It's alright, baby girl. We've got all night," he murmured, watching you crumble beneath him once again. The stifled gasp, your open mouth and the flush of arousal in your eyes made him realize how much he needed this.

And so you kissed, touched, fucked slowly until hours later the black outside the window was already turning an intense pink and gray. You just couldn't stop. It was like being caught in a frenzy that protected you from reality. In your world, all was well.

Two naked bodies, intertwined, floating between highs and warm love, unable to stop holding each other.

After you could no longer count how many times you had come under him, your aching pussy stuffed with his cum, your head as if emptied, you fell asleep after all. He on top of you, his dick still sunk into you and his face nuzzled against your neck. Tightly embraced and comfortably you dozed off exhausted, until the alarm clock tore you from sleep.

As soon as you arrived at rehearsals together, the boys' conversations fell silent and everyone looked at you curiously.

Chan yawned and you also rubbed your eyes tiredly.

"So you guys made up?" asked Hyunjin curiously as Chan placed a hand on your lower back to curtly say goodbye before climbing on stage with the other guys.

You sat down on the edge with a bottle of water and propped your head on your hand.

"So from the looks of their faces, they've made up all night," Changbin smirked and patted Chan on the shoulder, who just shook his head and suppressed a grin.

"All night?" escaped Han quietly, as by now several people from staff had joined them for rehearsals.

"We had a lot of catching up to do," Chan muttered with a mischievous look to you, to which you bit your lip and stared at the floor. The memories of last night were varied and intense. It was only in the morning that you had noticed that you had spent hours and hours sleeping with each other, and you had even fallen asleep during it, because you couldn't stop for a second. Even now you felt his body intertwined with yours, his length deep inside you and his whole presence as close as never before. It was as if his hands had never left your skin, as if his caresses were permanently carved into your body. One of the technical team announced over a microphone the first song to be rehearsed and the guys lined up. But did not stop cackling with each other.

"Really all night? You guys didn't sleep at all?" hissed Jeongin in disbelief and Chan‘s sly smile was enough to read the answer on his face.

"And I thought I had stamina..." muttered Jisung just before the music kicked in and the kids started rehearsing.

->Part 24

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© Yuna542 — 𝐚𝐥𝐥 𝐫𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭𝐬 𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐞𝐫𝐯𝐞𝐝.

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