#or whatever other kinda phobia you wanna say

[tinyfaust]

So having finished A Stitch in Time, I’m wildly curious as to why people just ignore Palandine’s existence in Garak’s personal history? If you’ve never read the book obvi I don’t mean you bc how else would you know (I feel like getting second hand accounts isn’t the same as reading the material itself and I mean that kindly), but there’s so many people I’ve seen on ao3 and tumblr talking about the book and Garak and writing fic about Garak and Julian but where are the mentions of Palandine? He was still suffering so much from her loss even in post war Cardassia and were just gonna ignore she ever happened?? Can we not have him and Julian falling in love while he also suffers from grief over her? These things are realistic and happen and I am genuinely so worked up and upset over this. Sexuality and love and identity and grief are complicated and I would genuinely just like to see anyone honestly acknowledge how important she was to him.

[vaporwavebeach-writes]

Kinktober Day 12 (Medical Play)

BTAA Scarecrow x Reader (NSFW)

(1,223 Words)

Summary: you have a debilitating phobia of needles and Dr. Crane has the solution to overcoming those fears

Warnings/Tags: 18+, gender neutral reader, reader has MAJOR trypanophobia (fear of needles), panic attacks, exposure therapy, medical kink (duh), crane feeding off the reader’s fear, crane being unprofessional, doctor/patient dynamic, fingering

Notes: sorry this one’s a little late LMAO but literally? as someone who had SEVERE trypanophobia, this was kinda empowering to write, enjoy the fic!!!

-

There was always a sense of unease whenever you found yourself at the doctors office. Maybe it was the awkward silence of sitting in the waiting room, anticipating what’s to come. Maybe it was the little intrusions that came with a basic physical check-up. Maybe it was unsettling scent of sterilized chemicals, sanitizing the room. Maybe it was those beige colored walls, glaring at you for the duration of your visit. Maybe it was the fact that you were about to be subjected to one of your worst fears. Or maybe, it was the fact that your physician is incredibly attractive.

Yeah, that too.

You find yourself, laying on his exam table, staring up at the ceiling. His voice, playful, as he explains the clinical the proceedings of this visit, reverberates off the walls.

“I’m really glad to see you taking the initiative to face your fears, exposure therapy isn’t for the faint of heart, you know.”

Your heart flutters at his words. As someone who suffered from a fear of needles since childhood, you figured that now, well into your adulthood, it was finally time to overcome that fear.

Doctors appointments for important vaccinations or even just the seasonal flu shot was always enough to spiral you into a panic. Nightmares leading up to it, hyperventilating, and giving yourself panic attacks to the point of nausea or fainting were feelings you had become all too familiar with. Feeling the prying gazes of other people in the waiting room or judgmental nurses always caused your embarrassment to spike at what you thought, was your own childish anxieties.

Seeing Dr. Jonathan Crane changed all that. When you scheduled your first session with him, his office felt comfortable. Adorned with classic horror movie posters and little mementos about his interests gave the impression that you wouldn’t be just some patient to him, but someone who he would genuinely try to help with your issues. When time came to actually talk about your fear, he wasn’t mean, or judgmental, or condescending, but he was understanding. He was someone who took a deep interest in whatever you had to say, as a patient and as a person. When he suggested the idea of exposure therapy, you were hesitant, but he had helped you come to realize that you had to start somewhere, which lead you to the clinic.

“Thanks, doctor,” you smile nervously, “gotta start somewhere, right?”

“Too true,” he says, turning to you as he walks over to the counter. “I appreciate that you put your trust in me to help you with such a… Debilitating, vulnerability.”

You hear the metallic rustling from within the cabinets. You stare back up at the ceiling, yet your curiosity gets the better of you. Glancing back over to him, you spy him preparing the needles, sending a wave of trepidation through your body.

“The syringes will be filled with a simple saline solution, it’s not harmful, but the solution is not what you’re afraid of, is it?” Maybe it’s just your anxiety, but you could swear there’s a hint of eeriness within his voice.

“Hey, uh, Doctor?”

“What is it, sweet pea?” He asks jokingly.

“I um, I just wanna apologize in advance in case I freak out at the needle.” You muster out with as much courage as you can. “Like, I-I might cry actually.” You chuckle nervously. You actually do feel the urge to cry as uneasiness fills the pit in your stomach.

“Aw now,“ There’s a playfulness to his voice. You’ve heard it many times in sessions, but it feels a little unsettling to hear it now. “Don’t psych yourself up too much, remember your breathing techniques.”

You can’t regulate your breathing at a time like this. As he makes his way over to you with a little alcohol wipe, you feel yourself beginning to hyperventilate. You feel the sweat trickling down your forehead as your throat begins to go dry. You feel faint; clammy. That alcohol wipe was the calm before the storm. You were fine when it was swabbed across your skin, but it always signaled what’s to come.

“Dr. Crane, I don’t know if I-”

“The feelings you have right now are completely expected,” he hushes you. “It’s all anticipatory, you fear the dread of it more than the actual stick itself, and I think I have found a sufficient way to combat that,” his explanation is stern, but comforting. He takes his gloved hands in yours, feeling his warmth through the latex. “Do you trust me?”

You’re hesitant. Your eyes threaten to spill tears out of the sheer distress you feel at the moment, yet Crane stares at you confidently, as if he knows you will make the right decision. You let out a shaky sigh, “Yes.”

“Good,” he grins at you. His hand makes its way to cup your cheek, gently thumbing over you. It moves up and around, to the nape of your neck and through your scalp, playing with your hair. You practically melt into his touch, fear beginning to dissipate from within you. And it’s at that moment, he gives it a tug, eliciting a soft moan from your lips. “A good method to combating fear, is to add an equally positive stimulus.” He lets out a low chuckle in response, which you feel go straight to your groin.

“I think I catch your drift.”

“Trust me,” he whirls you around on the table, spreading your legs. You can feel the heat pooling in your sex. “By the time I’m done with you, your phobia of needles will be the last thing on your mind.” He eyes you up, feeling his predatory gaze all around you like you wish his body was.

“I don’t want to be afraid anymore,” you whisper desperately.

“Then let’s not waste any time.”

You two work together to undo your pants. Your sex drips with arousal as Dr. Crane’s hand makes its way past your underwear. Your legs shake as he grazes over a particularly sensitive spot. He adds more pressure stroking you steadily as you all but grind yourself on his hand.

“God, you are such a good patient,” he groans. “Your determination to cure yourself of this fear, by any means necessary, is remarkable.”

You let out a breathy moan at the praise. You feel his fingers enter inside you, curling up and fucking away any fear you had before.

“Dr. Crane,” you gasp. “I think, I-I’m-”

“Getting close?”

“Mhm.” You groan.

You feel yourself quickly reaching your peak, eyes slamming shut. As you feel Crane’s fingers speeding up, there’s a sharp, painful sensation in your arm, making you cry out in a pained whine. With the pain, soon follows your orgasm, which tears through you frantically.

Breathing heavily, you come down from your euphoric high, to find Dr. Crane removing his gloves, smiling over at you proudly.

“Congratulations,” he smirks. “We’ve made excellent progress in overcoming your phobia, I think we’ve made a break through.” Washing his hands in the sink, he takes a seat on the table beside you, that playful tone once again adorning his voice. “However, I think we may need to have a few more sessions, fears aren’t cured overnight you know.”

You giggle, looking at him feeling giddy. You couldn’t wait for your next appointment.

[two-sides-halved]

Continued | @erisdiamas

"Again, using the term, phobia would imply that I am afraid of her, which I'm not. I hate her not because she's a Lapis but because she is factually horrible, she's an abuser of people, and animals, she's a manipulative piece of garbage who everyone was tip toing around because we didn't wanna upset the precious scared little girl who is over 5000 fucking years old... but because we handled her with these delicate kid gloves she never really changed into a better person like other people in the Little Homeschool program did... hell she's even been shirking her fucking responsibilities as a teacher... by kinda just telling them to go with the flow and then she'd fly off to who knows where... lazy asshole."

Gem Steven squinted at her as if he heard her incorrectly, picking up Eris and placing her on the couch, to get a reasonable distance away from her so he wouldn't end up hurting her fingers when she played with his hands.

"EXCUSE YOU?? Why the fuck would you think I would enjoy watching anyone nearly loose their life in front of me? I've already failed an entire planet's worth of people once, I failed Dad." He is crossing his arms.

"And you of all people... think I'd get aroused by that fucked up shit?? Fucking hell, Eris, you must be huffing paint thinner to think that is in anyway what I would like at all." He huffed irritated, tears in his eyes, looking away from her, his fists clenched, stomping his way to the kitchen to get himself something to shove into his face before see says something he'd regret. "If the misnaming was ALL I had to deal with... I wouldn't have such a fucking problem with her... I'd just say, ah she's annoying if she doesn't remember your name but she's good people BUT SHE FUCKING ISN'T!! Any time that the tough got going, she went gone... she ran away... she didn't believe in this planet, yet had the nerve to call it home instead of LITERALLY ANY OTHER COLONY OUT THERE IN SPACE!... But no, she chose to abuse and fester here like an untreated infection... and we just dealt with her like she was a misbehaving toddler, who didn't know how the world worked cause we didn't wanna upset her... and now she thinks she can do whatever she fucking wants." Gem Steven replied shoveling some of last nights reheated left overs into his face, thankful for the subject change.

"It's Sadie Killer and the Suspects... and they broke up a few months ago." Gem Steven replied with a disgruntled huff, shoveling another spoon full of foo into his face, chewing thoroughly, before swallowing "Sadie went off and formed a new band with her new partner named Shep... Shep's a chill person... I'm happy for them." He said in a notably bittersweet tone, being the hopeless romantic with the emphasis on hopeless.

"Well that's because Peridot is genuinely nice to be around... and if you were born on Homeworld, Rose might not have known that human's sweat... plus Gems themselves don't really sweat either. Plus you're half human so you'd have a whole bunch of powers she wouldn't have access too." He replied, with a mumble through his half chewed food.

"She wouldn't have known about half of the shit you'd go through... hell if she were here she'd be so much better at this whole parent shit than I am..." He huffed taking a big drink directly out of the jug of milk that was nearly gone anyway. "Guilty... I wouldn't doubt it was yours anyway..." He huffed into his nearly empty food bowl. "Most of the plants I make just try to rip me to shreds." He replied, before he yelped as she was practically dragging him out. "Eris, slow down!"

[mcfallen-god]

Tagged by @zaegreus thanks bestie ✨💜

Do you make your bed?

I often make the bed when I leave for a couple of days, or for a night over, so when I come back home I feel comfy and all hehe.

What’s your favourite number?

Yub, 3

But why? Eh.. The shape? The 'color'? The vibe? Occurrences in my life liked to the three? Idk, just 3 and all the 3 related numbers (33, 333 etc)

What is your job?

Student is not a job, because I am the one losing money, but yeah

If you could go back to school would you?

Probably, I'd like pre-school/middle-school, when I could learn new but easy things lol and I loved the smell and things at my school back then. I'd like to go back in whatever you call that period between 15-18 yo school time, but not for all aspect, let's say I was in a school specialized in art and it was a lot of fun to have a class like that. And for some reason too (but definitely NOT ALL ASPECTS) I'd like to be back to study literature, a part of it...

Can you parallel park?

Yub kinda but I don't like it, and I think it is easier to park on the left part of the road than the right (note: my country drives with wheel on left and road on right)

A job you had that would surprise people?

I didn't had any real job, but maybe the fact I study English literature... Because when I was a kid, until hmm 13/14? I had a deep hatred for English language xD don't ask me why, it is just a fact... This, and me studying literature to begin with, when I barely ever read.. (note: I love to read, but due to other reasons I have a very, very hard time to read even things I really really wanna read :( sed)

Do you think aliens are real?

Sure, but not in the sci-fi kind of way. I think it is absurd to think Earth is the only planet in the infinity of space that met the right conditions for life to develop. But I doubt these forms looks like... humanoid-green/grey skin beings or that they look anything as we know on Earth. I don't even know if there's any 'developed' (in human's terms) form of life, but definitely things that feed and live. (Once again, I doubt they come on Earth with super technology and such... if they do, I really hope they see their mistakes before making first contact and go far far away, before getting involved with the toxic humanity...)

Can you drive a manual car?

Lol of course I can (this question sounds very American oriented question(?) but in my country, manual car is base, we have many non-manuel, but majority is manual) but yeah, I can drive it

What’s your guilty pleasure?

Uh... I don't really know... Some shows? Some I don't even 'like' but more because it reminds me of my youth? (Glee, Ugly Betty, Bones, etc) Idk if it is count as guilty pleasure... If anything else... uh I have unspeakable kinks (only in fictional/role play dimensions, nothing sicko irl), collecting PopMarts figurines? Fried chicken with spicy sauce?? Chocolate biscuit with chips??? I DONT KNOW

Tattoos?

Not yet, I wish to have some one day, but first I need to find *the one* I have many artists/kind of tattoos I like, but eh

Favourite colour?

Green and Purple (mostly all the hues) but also: pale mint, pale yellow, pale peach, pale pink, pale bleu, pale lavender, black, white and orange...)

Favourite type of music?

I literally can enjoy anything, from rock, pop, electronic, classical, ethnic/traditional, etc... I have some issues sometimes with some form of Jazz or RnB, but I still enjoy songs from these genres, so I can't say I hate it... I would say rock is always a go-to?

Do you like puzzles?

Most of the time yeah, if it is like puzzle board game 🧩 or puzzle video games 🎮 or riddle games ❓I love it all (Im not saying I am good at it, I say I like it)

Any phobias?

Won't say it is phobia? But I feel grossed at any .. milling bugs? Like colonies of ants or when baby spiders get out of mother spider 🤢 This and I'd say it is more anxiety, but I have a hard time being in crowded place/windowless places (a bit agoraphobic/ claustrophobic but since I can manage to deal with these situations sometimes, I won't call it phobia)

Favourite childhood sport?

Maybe archery🏹 ? Or hmm basketball 🏀 and badminton🏸 ... And I kinda like to play football ⚽ but the toxicity around that sport is making it annoying and boring

Do you talk to yourself?

Rarely out loud, but pretty often in my own head. I feel dumb when I hear my own voice/sometimes it is even stressful because I grow aware of silence around me after I spoke....

What movie(s) do you adore?

Hmm tough question... Many for many different reasons.. But let's say: Legally Blonde (the vibe and the topic, go girls, can be barbie and have a brain), Princess Mononoke (base), FFVII: Advent Children (thirst), Nanny McPhee (chiiill), Crazy Kung Fu (top tier), Ne Zha (2019) (bery nice), ... That's it for TODAY's pick, what about tomorrow..?

Coffee or tea?

Both but ✨☕C O F F E E☕✨(even if Earl Grey Yin Zhen is honestly DOPE)

First thing you wanted to be growing up?

🤔 Idk which come first, but I remember I had the mad project to do "all my dream jobs at once", so I'd have been: a painter, going around the world with a circus where I'd be acrobat and magician, and yet, using the world-travelling to heal any animals I find on my way 😂🤣

A forever go-to @davi-doo

I tag... *go through mutuals*

@beardedladyqueen @kales09 @chinchilla-7 @astraluxe @general-kalani @alladeline @chromium-siren

PLEASE LEMME KNOW IF I AM PESTERING YOU! I WILL STOP!

[space-writes]

oc deep dive tag

tagged many many moons ago by @talesofsorrowandofruin, thank you! he’s on my mind right now and I want to develop him a bit more, so I’m going to do these for my resident Underdark hot boy, Zeth’rinn Baenre.

[ID - a purple and black decorative divider]

Phobias and other fears

I wanna give him a phobia so i can poke at it later and make him Suffer…he’s afraid of being alone, like. really alone. solitary confinement without contact with other people would fuck him up. isolation, that’s what he’s afraid of. probably as an Underdark Boy he’s got a healthy fear of things like earthquakes and cave-ins, and of getting lost whilst exploring/scouting cave-systems.

Pet peeves

people who eat with their mouths open, wide-cuffed sleeves (yes you can hide a knife in there, they’re also really fucking annoying and get in his way), poets who don’t rhyme thinking they’re clever, anyone who says it BAN-ray instead of BEN-ray, and surface folk complaining about how bright it is when he and his sunlight sensitivity are standing right there

3 items you can find in their bedroom

sex toys

jewellery box

dagger

First thing they notice in a person

whether he finds them attractive. it’s just instinct, he looks and if he likes that gets filed away immediately under ‘potential avenues of interest to pursue’, and flirting will be a part of the interaction in one way or another like yeah he’s kinda shallow. but also, he gives a lot of compliments, and he usually means them.

On a scale of 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance?

I’m gonna put him at a 5 - he can handle pain, and can handle more if he has to deal with it alone, or the situation is very serious, but if there is even one other person around he’s gonna complain about it. But despite the fact he definitely enjoys a little pain play in the bedroom, it’s more the threat of pain there he enjoys, not the actual hurt itself. he’s not really much of a masochist.

Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure?

hmm. i think fight mode, based on how he was raised. he wants to get out of the situation/solve the problem. sometimes this means he does stupid things and makes whatever’s happening Worse, but hey, at least he did something! he’s also more of a fawner as well - persuading or otherwise convicing someone not to hurt you by making them feel good, in whatever form that takes, is something of an instinct for him. growing up in Menzo and working with BD, where he definitely had to deal with a lot of egos and a lot of high-strung nobles and priestesses (along with Life Lessons From Jarlaxle) would have taught him the safety value in Talking Your Way Out Of Danger

Do they come from a big family/are they a family person?

Bregan D’aerthe is a pretty big family in its own right, I’d say, even if he’s only blood related to one of them. And he’s also a Baenre, however much of a bastard one, so all of House Baenre are his family, but I don’t think he really considers them family; just relatives. He loves having lots of people to care about though. He likes knowing things about what everyone likes and dislikes, having so many people he can spar with, talk to, go on adventures with—he’s such a people person, and even though BD and Menzo in general aren’t necessarily friendly to his particular brand of enthusiasm, he doesn’t let that stop him from loving his adoptive family.

What animal represents them best?

hmm…cat feels lazy, but also kinda correct. a very affectionate cat, who always wants attention.

What is a smell that they dislike?

he doesn’t like the smell of Lolthite sacrificial ritual incense. Not sure what those smells might be, and they probably vary from House to House, but the smell of the incense used during Lolthite sacrifices brings back bad experiences of having witness such sacrifices. He’s not a Lolthite, though he does respect the Spider Goddess, and he grew up in Menzo - he’s definitely lost people to the altar before There’s also the scent of a deep, dark cavern - more of a non-scent, really - that makes him uneasy for some reason. The way the darkness of a deep hole smells, maybe? He’s not sure why, but it unsettles him. (I know why; it’s because he’s not a born drow, he was ‘gifted’ to Jarlaxle by an Entity as a ‘reward’ for some aid.)

Have they broken any bones?

I don’t think you get to be in Bregan D’aerthe all your life and not break anything. I think he’s broken his ankles and arms before for sure, and gotten them all healed up. Probably fractured various foot bones, too, broken a toe or three or four; some ribs definitely. Managed to avoid breaking anything in his face so far.

How would a stranger likely describe them?

Flamboyant, cocky, pretty, pretty annoying, flirtatious, and talkative. Should probably put a real shirt on.

Are they a night owl or morning bird?

I want to say night owl, but I do also think he switches. Sometimes you cannot get him out of bed and functional for love nor money; sometimes he’s up with the lark and way too excited about life.

What is a flavour they hate and a flavour they love?

Hate: hmmm, let’s go with beer. Wine and mead and spirits he will go all night, but beer? absolutely not Love: can i say cum lol no but for real, I’m going to say cherries.

Do they have any hobbies?

hmmm…i think he likes writing poetry, though he keeps that a secret from literally everyone. and painting nails - i can see him enjoying the focus and detail of making beautiful patterns and art on a small surface, though I suspect he also goes through phases of having the patience for it and not.

Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises?

He’s so excited. He gets to be the centre of attention and he didn’t even have to whine about something first? Everything is now Directly For Him??? He’s the Specialest Birthday Boy?!?! Birthday surprises he loves. And other surprises; they give him a chance to try and show off if they’re dangerous, or to enjoy something if they’re pleasant.

Do they like to wear jewellery?

Hell yeah! He’s got multiple ear piercings, loves necklaces a lot, especially chokers, and also bracelets and rings. Necklaces are definitely his favourite, though.

Do they have neat or messy handwriting?

Absolutely it’s messy. Whenever Jarlaxle or Valas or whoever tries to get him to do any kind of paperwork, it’s a nightmare. No, he’s no doing it on purpose, he’s just got terrible penmanship.

What are the two emotions they feel the most?

Curiosity and overconfidence (also lust. because of course)

Do they have a favourite fabric?

Does leather count? Because I think leather, though I think he also has a soft spot for anything, well, soft. Cosy boy. But yeah, he likes leather: the smell, the texture, the feel and look of a well-crafted piece. The taste :p

What kind of accent do they have?

A Menzoberranzan one - so very much like Minthara in BG3, only I imagine, since he takes so much after Jarlaxle, he’s got a little more bounce to his voice, and is a touch more casual/less particular about pronouncing words I also think he’s probably a bit of an accent chameleon, and ends up mirroring whoever he’s talking to sometimes; so when he’s in Mythen Thaelas a bunch, he ends up with a touch of MT accent for a while on certain words.

[ID - a purple and black decorative divider]

no-pressure tagging @foxboyclit @hagscribes @princessbonecrimes @lawful-evil-novelist @thegreatobsesso and anyone else who wants to share Blorbo Facts with me~

blank questions under the cut Phobias and other fears Pet peeves 3 items you can find in their bedroom First thing they notice in a person On a scale of 1-10, how high is their pain tolerance? Do they go into fight or flight mode when under pressure? Do they come from a big family/are they a family person? What animal represents them best? What is a smell that they dislike? Have they broken any bones? How would a stranger likely describe them? Are they a night owl or morning bird? What is a flavour they hate and a flavour they love? Do they have any hobbies? Boom, surprise birthday party! How do they react to surprises? Do they like to wear jewellery? Do they have neat or messy handwriting? What are the two emotions they feel the most? Do they have a favourite fabric? What kind of accent do they have?

[amygdalae]

I was tagged by the lovely @womanroy to post about 5 things I like. It's enjoyin' time! (These aren't necessarily my 5 favorite things in the world just some stuff I love, off the dome. Let's gooo)

Animals! I love critters and creatures, nothing makes me happier than seeing and learning about them. I saw a huge raven on a hike the other day and it was moseying like a little man along a footpath. Alongside the cool kingsnake i also saw that day it really made my week

Fruits and vegetables!!! This one is kinda self explanatory i just love that something so yummy can bring valuable vitamins and fiber to my diet. Thank you fruits and vegetables🍇🍈🍉🥦🥬🥒🫑🌶🌽🥕🧅🧄🥔🍆🥑🫒🍅🍊🍋🍌🍍🥭🍎🍏🍐🍑🍒🍓🫐🥝🥥

Video games!!! AaaaAAAAAAAAAAAA <- emotions beyond words. goes without saying. if i elaborated I'd be here all day

Uuuuh. Incense and scented candles. I only own like 2 or 3 but lighting something good and smelly really makes me feel cozy and special. My current favorite incense is a palo santo and sage scented one I got at my work ^u^ I totally get why these smells are associated with cleansing energies or whatever. Very soothing

Horror! Oooh boy when there's a scary thing. Oh man. I love exploring the various types of fear and unease through fictional works. I love talking to people about what kinds of horror they do and dont like. I love silly schlock horror and I love deep intricate psychological horror and I love when something is both simultaneously. I love when there are ghosts and I love when theres a big blood explosion. I got a penguin horror series edition of the Haunting of Hill House and there's a foreword by Guillermo del Toro I wanna quote real quick:

"To learn what we fear is to learn who we are. Horror defines our boundaries and illuminates our souls. In that, it is no different, or less controversial, than humor, and no less intimate than sex. Our rejection or acceptance of a particular type of horror fiction can be as rarefied or kinky as any other phobia or fetish."

Anyways! I tag @olibavee @darksouls2yuri @metalgearsolidyaoi @unholycross @denyjesuschrist @lakemojave and any other mutual who would like to do this :^)

[lyrakarma]

Welcome to the Lair!

Welcome one and all to the lair of Lady Karma! Whether someone's wronged you, or committed blasphemy against the gods, Lady Karma has your back!

Although...she can be a bitch at times.

Anyhow...before we go any further let's lay down some blog rules shall we?

1. No Fandom drama. I dont tolerate that crap. However if you wanna vent about Canon or whatever feel free to message me and I'll listen.

2. No political/social shit. The real world sucks, we can all agree on that. I'm on here for fun, not to be lectured.

3. This is mostly an OC blog but I'm more than willing to rp as the moon boys too if interested. My blog is is oc and Canon friendly. Respect others portrayal of Canon characters and OCs.

4. I don't tolerate any kind of intolerance on here, any -ism or -phobia isn't allowed. Kinda mad I still have to say it.

5. Please be patient. I'm trying to get back into RPing and I'm also living life. If I don't get back to a plot line right away I'm very sorry. My life is busy and I try to make time for everything.

6. I do have the right to turn down or not answer rp requests and asks. I will use it.

7. Don't be an asshole. If your characters only personality trait is being a jerk, then you need to work on them. My character doesn't exist to be your character's punching bag. Thank you.

8. This isn't my only blog. I may be more active on one of my others than this one, and I don't always get notifications from here (I'm on mobile so yeah...) if I don't get to you in a timely fashion I'm sorry.

9. Inappropriate/triggering/NSFW stuff will be tagged. However I don't generally write smut/love scenes like that unless they're relevant to the plot (I.E a first time, someone gets pregnant, etc...). I'm not your porn source.

10. At the end of the day, this is all about fun and that's what I want it to be. Feel free to plot with me if you want, or if you just wanna chat, feel free to DM me!

With rules out of the way, character profile is under the cut!

Name: Lyra Shelby (however wants to legally change her last name to Lockley)

Age: in her early to mid 30s

Height: 5 foot 3 inches, so rather short

Important info: Lyra is the avatar of Mafdet, the goddess of divine retribution. Being a cheetah goddess, Lyra has many feline like abilities. She has super speed, advanced senses, and her nails elongate and harden into claws. She grows ears and tail when she shifts to her hero persona.

Relationship status: considers herself married, though she doesn't have her husband's name or ring...it's complicated.

Orientation: female, she/her pronouns, panromantic, demisexual, polyamorous.

Unlike the Moon Knight system, Lyra's avatar status is a family affair. The Goddess Mafdet is cursed, bound to the bloodline of her first priestess by her ex lover, ironically Khonshu, God of the moon. The two still go at it at times, and their situation is more complicated with their avatars being "married".

Lyra considers herself a married woman, though she can't legally marry her "husband", Jake Lockley. Jake is a part of the Moon Knight system, which contains three different personalities in one body: Marc Spector, Steven Grant, and of course Jake Lockley. Marc, the main personality, is still married to his wife Layla, and Lyra doesn't wish to interfere with that. That being said, all three of them live together after learning about Jake and Lyra. Its a complicated situation but they all make it work.

When she's not doing superhero work, Lyra is an author and independent journalist, with a few books out and is currently working on a new one. Shes bilingual, speaking both English and German. Lyra also understands some Spanish thanks to Jake, though she herself doesn't speak it.

Like the Moon Knight system she also comes from a history of abuse, from a mostly absent, military oriented father and a stepmother who mistreated her. She has siblings but she doesn't talk to them all that much anymore. Bringing them up is a bit of a sore subject for her, as she has deep seated resentment and desire for revenge against them (which is how she emerged as Mafdets avatar to begin with). Shes in therapy but it only barely helps keep the resentment at bay...

[pearlaqua-eevee]

ok and the rest of ep 22 liveblog

Urahara always showing up like that. Shady neutral until the end I see

AAAA RUKIA FELT URYU THERE. FUCK. MY RAREPAIR FRIENDSHIP CRUMBSAAAAAAA

Renji too obviously lol

"You guys are pissed at Uryu Ishida too?" lmfao Bazz-B

"I can give you a hand to go a kill him!" honey thats their FRIEND lmao sit down

hi protective-over-Uryu Rukia and Renji yeesss

ok but I do like that everyone actually gets a reaction to Uryu's betrayal, kinda shuts up the "he wasnt significant" naysayers in the fandom--BITCH HES SIGNIFICANT TO HIS FRIENDS AND EXTENDED FAMILY

"What dont you like chickens" LMFAO Renji woke up ready to sass because between this and the fight against Mask....

"Good for you" RUKIA AND RENJI PLS NEVER CHANGE I LOVE YOU BOTH

AAAND ZOMBIE BAMBI. FML

YORUICHI IS BAAAAAACK

aaa they did such a good job with the nostalgic parallels on this, ugh it makes me wanna go watch SS arc again back when the stakes were technically way lower but just because the core cast was ignorant lol

lol the dual Ichigo Orihime head tilt was cute

loved that shot of Ichigo, Orihime and Chad lookin badass and ready. Protect them!!!

"whats with that brat" people dont like to be misgendered, is whats up (no seriously they couldnt fine a single extra alt line for the reason that Gigi got pissed? We had to keep the phobia in? ok -_- )

sorry but as a writer, Yumichika suddenly being this observant and picking up on what the audience already knows just on observation, without any indication of how or why he's make the leap from "theyre bombs" to "they make whatever they touch explode"....its such a ooc-for-ic-knowledge moment to be able to have these two have a prayer of fighting back. So while the rest of the fandom is made about like 1 frame or not getting Bambi with her top unzipped, I'll be over here rolling my eyes at how this wasnt changed

I know people are probably mad about the pervert line too but because they actually did edit that line, it becomes directly about what Gigi said about being "excited" and yeah thats sick and twisted, hi, psychopath serial killer energy

"Um I wasnt asking why youre shining" LMFAO ROAST HIM GIGI

the fact that I know the fandoms been saying that scene was "hot"....and it actually is so much worse in the anime because of the voice acting....theres a reason that dialogue reads R rated, its meant to, and its meant to disgust you and theres a reason I stay away from like 95% of the fandom thats all im gonna fucking say on that

"you think im ordinary when you just said I was outstanding?" "dont take it personally, compared to me everyone is ordinary"

not me thinking about how Uryu might outwit the use of those reishi locking things

yeaaah like I know Gigi's powers are fucked up but really imagine fighting these people and realizing that not only can one of them create zombies they can control, but theyve done it to people you know and recognize. Again, no wonder the Quincy are viewed as abominations?!

Arrancars!?

DID THEY JUST USE THE WORD FUGLY OMFG!?

"I came to see that four-eyed Quincy to make him pay for what he did to me" what, so he can absolutely destroy you again? (lol sorry, I LOVE Cirucci, shes one of my fav Arrancar but GIRL. He's gotten stronger since then, I don't think you wanna actually go for him again. Love the shoutout to that tho!?)

characters being able to be revived like this really takes tension out tho lol

so like....we're all in agreement that Mayuri is a "just like what you're fighting" type character, right? Like I get loving him for being twisted and honestly open and obvious about it (unlike other villain characters and in particular some of the Quincy)... like on the one hand as a PERSON, I'm like "love to hate this character, kinda badass in a sick way". but yeah like. He's just as bad as the Quincy and I think it puts a lot of his actions in this arc into perspective in a really interesting way

Gigi singsonging while healing Bambi is really disturbing and I love this character archetype a lot so its nice to see it done well. Shes MEANT to disturb you

FUCK. AND THERES TOSHIRO. I ALMOST FORGOT

HYYYPPPPPEEEE

[ellieswilliams6866]

doin time

-

doin time

notes: you and ellie are in like a dating/freinds kinda thing

ellie had just gotten back from patrol and then after, she had to help with other duty’s. and then school. then more duty’s. so inevitably, she was very tired and didn’t feel like walking all the way to her den house thing, so she just went to yours. yours wasn't big but definitely wasn't small. had a couch, a tv, queen size bed, everything and you always were stacked on food. she arrives, and without making any noise just steals your food you were eating. “um hi?” you said in a annoyed tone because you had been very mad that day. “oh hey! your welcome for filling in for you and doing YOUR work duty’s. god i can’t unsmell all that cow shit.” “i didn’t ask you to do that” and then she turns around and says “i know you didn’t. but if somebody didn’t do that you were risking even being able to live here. maria doesn’t care that you came with me and joel and you know that” “whatever.” you said. “a thank you would be nice.” you just sat there. “fine, thank you.” you tried not to look at ellie cause then she would see that you actually felt horrible about how you acted. it had been a tough week, but you had felt bad about taking it out on ellie. “ you wanna tell me what’s up with you?” “no” you replied. she didn’t reply back to you and just walked out. you heard the door have the softest slam. you immediately regretted your response. was she mad? i can’t believe i replied with just a straight up no. you didn’t know what to do next. should you go see her? should you text her? you just didn’t know. after a 10 minute wait that felt like hours, you hear a knock on your door. it was ellie, and she had a movie with her? so you tell her to get inside cause it was raining. “i thought you went home?” she replies with “why would i go home?” because i acted so rudely. she smiles at you and pulls you to the couch. it’s fine. whenever you want to talk about what’s been happening with you just tell me. you wanted to tell her so bad, but you didn’t know how she would react. it was about her. her and her stupid freind who you had both known, a girl named luna. you had also known luna and she was a very nice girl, which made this so much worse. every girl here would tell you how lucky you were to be so close with ellie. everybody wanted that with her. ellie was kind of popular in jackson, because apparently she was really good at sex? you would always here people talking about there hookups with her on patrol and you were always just so surprised for some reason. anyways, ellie would always give girls a wave, a hi, or whatever but with luna it was different. you could tell ellie actually liked her and luna most definitely liked her back. i mean who wouldn’t? and luna was gorgeous. long, black smooth hair, perfect eyes, and somehow even on her worst days she still looked amazing. you were jealous. “they’ve definitely hooked up a few times” you said, well you both laughing at the movie. it was about 30 minutes in, and all you could think about was how close you and ellie were right now. you were on the couch, side by side. maybe 15 minutes later, you fall asleep, your head on ellies shoulder. she brings you to your bed, and your weather phobia finally starts to kick in. you knew it would eventually.

you ask ellie if she could stay just for a little bit. cause it was thundering outside. ellie was aware of your “weather phobia” and had decided to stay with you. it was freezing. ellie sets up the bed and just decides she’s gonna stay for the rest of the night. you end up falling asleep pretty quickly again, your hair still wet from the shower you took a few hours ago. ellie moves your hair out of your face and puts another blanket on you. halfly asleep you ask her if she wants some of your blanket. she says yes. she moves closer in, and you guys are basically touching now. ellie finally asleep, your still awake because of the thunder. and then the thunder gets so loud it wakes her up. her halfly asleep says “it will be okay” and puts her arm around your waist and pulls you closer. you feel safe, so you fall asleep. the next day you wake up the next day. ellie still aslep

you wake up. “god what time is it?” its already 7 am? you have to make up for all that cow shit she picked up for you and you giggle just thinking about the thought. ellie all pissed picking up cow shit for you. you leave a note on the counter

“thank you for last night, i will be making up for all that cow shit!! love you els <3”

you hope that didn’t sound weird and hope she knows you were joking.

ellie finally wakes up. reaching for you then quickly realizes you left. she gets the note and laughs. she picks up your place, then leaves.

you couldn’t help but think about last night the whole time you were doing work around jackson. even during farm duty all yoj could think about was how close you guys were last night. “she’s probably like that with everyone.” you repeated to yourself.

meanwhile, ellie’s spiraling at home. she has a mix of nervousness and excitement when she thought about last night. she just can’t believe it. she has had a crush on you since forever. and you never seem to notice. she doesn’t care about all the late night hookups, or any other girl, just you.

a few hours pass, and you finally stop by home to get ready for the first dance of winter. you out on some jeans, and a crop top and jacket and call

it a day.

meanwhile, ellie at home is going crazy. she wants to look nice but also doesn’t want to look like she tried to hard, because you always look so nice so effortlessly. so she ends up just putting on some jeans and a nice t shirt.

ellie arrives before you, so when you walk in, hair curled, cute outfit she goes and hides so you can’t see her blush. finally like an hour later after saying hi to everybody dancing and everytime you agree to meet up in the little office only you to knew about. of course maria did, but she never came in here. you guys both finally aee eachother right before walking in. and the first thing she says is “hey, you look nice.” thank you, you don’t look to bad yourself, you say well pulling her in the little office . you close the door behind you and say “ellie thank you for last night.i really do

appreciate that. “no problem. i will always be here for you no matter what you know that.” well hitting your arm playfully and sitting down. you blush a little bit. “so, you don’t have to do a week worth of patrol duty.” “woah, thank you.” she says. you honestly just wanted to kiss her in that moment. and then you finally stand up into the cornor a little bit and say “ellie, i really need to tell you something.” she turns around “oh yeah? what is it?” “okay look i don’t want this to sound stupid and corny and i don’t know how to say this but i-“ you didn’t even get to finish saying like before she had you pinned to the wall. you guys were both aggressively making out and you didn’t know how this was going to end. next thing you know your on her lap, and her hand down your pants. she asks for your permission first, and as soon as she heard that yes she started fingering you faster then you have ever been before. you needed to stay quiet but then ellie had you layded down on the couch just kissing you. then she said “just trust me.” and started going down and more down till she reached your thighs. “can i?” she asked in a teasing way. “just touch me already you said. finally she had her toung in you.

“oh my god” you said. she kept trying to shush you but it felt to good. “ellie please more.” “faster.” and soft moans kept coming out of you.

ellie finally backs away and puts her hand over her mouth in a shushing motion.

“please keep going i’m almost there”

she goes back in even faster.

you moan softly and finally you finish and softly moan.

she lays next to you and kisses you. a quiet “i love you” comes from her. and you say it back and just lay there with her.

[hikarikeeper]

random tag (1)

(I don't know why I keep this tag lol, but here we go)

What is your name? Ange..

Do you know why you were named that? yeah (are you gonna say why? :>) they didn't ask to say why? (lol xD)

Are you single or taken? ummmh……. taken… taken as a joke.

Have any abilities or powers? yeah..

Stop being a Mary-sue! what.. who?… (he has unforgivably more weaknesses than abilities, back off already.)

What's your eye color? limegreen

How about hair color? milk chocolate color..

Have any family members? never had. I have something like founded family, but I not sure anymore..

Oh? How about pets? no..

That's cool, I guess. Now tell me something you don't like I don't like liars, traitors and hypocrites.. also don't like other people's touch.. i only allow it to those i trust..

Do you have any activities/hobbies that you like to do? playing guitar and singing.. but i'm doing it only when i'm alone.

Have you ever hurt anyone in anyway before? ….. sigh who hasn't done it?.. I mean, you can't avoid hurting someone.. i don't usually do this on purpose. But not so long ago, i hurt someone who trusted me.. I… still hate myself for this.. i usually don't care about sins, but this.. I consider it my personal sin.

Ever… killed anyone before? n… ..maybe.

What kind of animal are you? mew.

Name your worst habits? I have no idea which ones are good or bad.. is licking face of those who tried to kill you is considered as a bad habit? (Well I dunno, you're just out of this world. Typical ginger cat i'd say.)

Do you look up to anyone at all? … any point of this?

Are you Gay, Straight, or Bisexual? asexual. (gay gay homosexual gay) =_=

Do you go to school? nope..

Ever wanna marry and have kids one day? HOLY F- NO. …I want someone who won't leave me because they're tired of me or for some other reason. But I no longer believe that this can happen to me at all..

Do you have fangirls/fanboys? how i should know that?.. i don't think so.

What are you most afraid of? I have long forgotten how to be afraid of something.. even if i have some fears and phobias, it's a little different thing.

What do you usually wear? clothes. (will stop being so mischievous lol) why they asking this? who cares? (and now you wondering why you still alone..) rub salt on the wound.

Well, it's still not over! D:

What class are you? (low class, middle class, high class) … what?… blank uncomprehending look

How many friends do you have? ..i no longer understand what friendship means to people… but.. i have at least one, i guess…

What are your thoughts on pie? mew…?

Favorite drink? milkshake (and sometimes alcohol.) shush.

What's your favorite place? i don't think i have it.. they destroyed it. it was the best place to watch sunsets..

Are you interested in anyone~? hm…. and if they are not interested in me, what is the point of hoping for something?

If you're a girl, what's your cup size? If you're a guy, how big are you? ..the hell wrong with you….

Would you rather swim in a lake or the ocean? I'd rather not swim at all.. I swim like a log.. kinda, able to float on the water but i never learn to swim.. besides, contact with water makes me weaker, and if too long - even sick, and will slowly kills me.

What's your type? ?…. (well, like a type of people) … Is it about appearance or personality? (uh..)

Any fetishes? wh.. what? (good question)

Seme or uke whatever you want >:| stop asking such strange questions.

Camping or indoors? adventures..

Are you still wanting the quiz to end? it's okay, but some questions.. well… ugh… Well, it's over! Now tag five people! (lol nope :>)

[iscratchdoors]

english is actually a really fucking weird sounding language i'm convinced the only reason we don't talk about how weird it is bc it's fucking everywhere so we've all just collectively gaslit ourselves into thinking it's normal

[clanwarrior-tumbly]

AirLock Anon:

*Laughing Evilly*

MUWAHAHAHAHAHAHHA

👉👈🥺 More Owl Avian HC’s but with Ezekiel, Porniplire Brothers, and Host because 4 MORE DAYS OF SCHOOLING!!!!

if you can, can you add the fact that Y/n basically has a phobia of silence? because i listen to music 24/7 because i hate the ringing in my ears when its quiet. but also hate when its super loud

Ezekiel (Necromancer Mark)

“A giant harpy?? Hell yeah wanna be my scouting minion??”

He thinks you’d be helpful for scouting out trespassers around the base of Mt. Nasty (what a weird name lol)

He has a vulture for a pet but she just stands on her perch and looks pretty, too old to fly anymore.

Besides he’s lowkey lonely and wants to talk to someone who isn’t a villager who screams in terror at the sight of him.

But you don’t mind doing his bidding (which is just you flying around in a circle once and telling him nothing’s there, even if you did see someone or got bored and went to hunt instead). He rewards you with a rat he found for you to snack on just for doing it.

You kinda like living in the cave because all the noises calm you down.

The dripping water from the stalactites, squeaking bats...

And yes, even Ezekiel’s occasional evil laughter. 

Ryder + Pornipliers (I’m too lazy to think of names for the others)

All of them say the corniest shit, trying to up their flirt game.

“How’s the weather up there?” Lumberjack says

“That blood on your face is kinda hot ngl but pls clean it before you get an eye infection” The Doc begs.

“If you need noise ik how to make some~” Lifeguard winks.

You could literally puff your feathers out and stand at 9 feet tall to look intimidating as hell..

And yet every single one of these himbos would still be down bad for you.

Date is the only one who’s like “guys pls they could rip you apart-”

Ryder’s like “honestly I’d thank them lmao”.

Simps. All of them.

Host

You love cozying up in his library and listening to his podcasts or narrations while rummaging through books on avians (or whatever subject interests you most).

It’s good that Host tends to talk all the time bc you can’t stand the silence.

So obviously you like being around him most.

Sometimes he wants to pet your fluffy wings for grounding/comfort reasons.

You don’t mind getting prey blood on your feathers but don’t wanna get human blood on them.

First time you saw Host bleeding you were worried that you accidentally scratched him with your talons.

Though he reassures you it’s just stress.

“Oh okay good.......wait that’s bad what’s been troubling you?”

[felswritingfire]

(Hades) Gods x Shade! Reader

No matter how much you try, mortality will always catch up to those who are not of gods. Even the most blinded of them learn this eventually. You take your death with grace, choosing to go and explore this new world as soon as Lord Hades permits you to go, impressed by how little you complain and demand. You are one of the brighter parts of his day (night?).

You drift along, catching certain snippets of other Shade’s conversations as you wander aimlessly. You notice a crack in the wall; deciding to muster up your courage, you slip through it to find yourself in the glowing green torches of Tartarus. With what little you have, you hold it close to your translucent body and push forward.

You’re quick to notice the large glowing ball with an oddly familiar symbol floating in the middle of it. You take your time circling it, feeling compelled to touch it. When you do, a beam of light comes slicing through the dreary air to reveal a mighty god who stares down at you at your shocked form...

Zues

Cause of Death: Lightning Strike

Zues is confused when he sees you. He’s even more confused when you start screaming at him, waving your hands about and threatening to fight him yourself.

“You fucker! You killed me!”

He raises a brow. “I think I’d remember if I killed you.” You flipped up your middle finger at him and his eyebrows drew into an angry v. “How rude! I am the God of Gods-”

“I don’t care!”

Zagreus had to high tail it to you before Zues tried to smite you (possibly a second time).

Suffice to say you hoped you’d never bump into that boon again. And you didn’t. No, the God of Gods and Lightning himself decided that he’d have to make a house call himself (Hades was not pleased when a bolt of lightning came crashing down and left a scorched black ring in the carpet).

He picks you out quickly and you try to zoom out of the lobby until he catches you by the back of your robe and then you’re swinging and yelling profanities at him. He’s kinda amused now instead of angry- you’re just so weak and tiny compared to him. It’s hysterical- ow! Did you just bite him?

After you and Zues finish your little “spitting match”- Hades kicks Zeus out and you're forced to hang out in Tartarus for a bit (“but I’m just a simple fisherfolk! I can’t fight anything!” You cry, Hades does not spare you a look as you're dragged out by Meg).

You think maybe that’s the end until you’re approached by a… a squirrel? You almost punt it when his voice spills out as he shoots into a long prattle about how much of a jerk Hades was and how he couldn’t handle someone as grandiose as him appearing before him. Threatened him as a god or something- you were busy trying to figure out how you were going to kill this guy and make sure he stayed dead.

Turns out, after the two of you chattered (argued) a bit about whether or not he actually killed you, Zeus had some neat stories about the gods.

While you were interested in his children’s and brothers’ and sisters’ stories, he was interested in your stories of the mundane. A simple fisherfolk? That was a word? You just fished and traded? Amazing! Tell him more!

After this particular interaction between the two of you, Zeus really ended liking you. Maybe a little too much, but, aw well, it wasn’t everyday a mortal soul had the balls to argue with him for something he doesn’t remember doing (he probably did. Probably. Most likely). He swore that he’d come and see you everyday as he sat on your shoulder as a squirrel, going on and on about how you should feel blessed to be praised by one such as he. You were about to throw him until a giant hand came out and grabbed him (seemed you drifted too close to Lord Hades’ desk), the hulking god flinging him out of a portal.

He continues to pop up and bother you and, to be honest, he’s kinda growing on you. Also, I’m gonna be frank and lay it out that, if he likes you enough, he’s probs gonna want to smash, especially if you lean more towards the feminine side (he’s fucking AWFUL). It’s up to you if you wanna indulge that or not, I don’t recommend it, but you can if you really want to.

We’re going with the option you don’t smash- he’ll be salty at you for a whole ass day before he comes back the one after that as a rat (Hades kept finding out his forms that he used to sneak in so it was an ever constant menagerie of appearances to keep up the disguise) and is like: “I thought you would miss me too much so I came back before you could even complain.”

Zag likes to watch the two of you interact because he finds it absolutely fascinating. It’s like watching… He doesn’t know what it’s like but he’s having a blast as you roast his uncle to bits. It really helps him out when he’s feeling a bit down after failing getting out one too many times.

When you first get Zeus an Ambrosia, he thinks it’s poison and then he gets all prideful because of course you would give him an offering, he was the strongest of all the gods! Him and him alone!

“Silly, mortal, you cannot poison me! I am a god.”

You squint your eyes at him before you huff and pull the bottle closer to you. “Fine, whatever, I’ll just give it to Zagreus- or better yet, Hades if you don’t want it.”

“No! No! I want it! Give it to me! It’s mine!”

During this time, he’s actually experiencing some purer emotions in life- he’s genuinely giddy that you got him the Ambrosia and asks how you got it. You hold up a makeshift fishing rod and grin at him, telling him you snatched it from some nasty shades before you wandered back down to Tartarus.

His gift to you is a little lightning pin that, when you're in danger, will send a nasty bolt of lightning down on your enemies. You wonder what good it’ll do since you’re dead already, but shrug and accept it, thinking that he looks years younger and friendler when his smile isn’t packed full of ego and pride.

Poseidon

Cause of Death: Drowning

Poseidon, Lord of the Oceans, Earthquakes, and many other things, is simply- how do you say? Amused? It’s the best way to describe it at least. Of course he was mostly surprised when he appeared expecting the Little Hades to be waiting for him just to meet a Little Shade in his place.

“Why, hello there, Little Shade! You wouldn’t happen to know where the Little Hades is, would you?”

You shake your head, he doesn’t miss the way you nervously play with your hands, drifting back as some of his droplets float close to you.

He laughs at your simple reply. “Shy one aren’t you?” He leans closer to you, squinting and running a hand through his beard while he hummed.

You fight the urge to take a step back, the smell of salt water making your stomach churn.

His eyes flutter shut as he takes a deep breath. He takes a moment before he opens his eyes again and a look of understanding flashes across his eyes. “You drowned. Didn’t you?”

You stare up at him, eyes round and glassy. You nod.

Before your conversation can go any further, Zagreus comes running through the window, surprised to see his Uncle talking to a Shade (you look so scared- he hopes that you aren’t being bullied). You’re quick to take your leave bowing to both and passing the boon to the Prince before you scurry away into the cover of the other Shades.

He hums to himself, a cryptid smile on his face as his eyes follow after you. Such a strange little thing you were- he wouldn’t mind seeing you again.

It takes a bit, but he does happen to see you again, by peaking through a fountain in a fountain room in the Underworld. He spies you trying to poke at the water that he happened to choose, but jumping back each time. You face scrunched up into one of pure frustration. He asks if you’re doing alright there, Little Shade? Causing you to flash out of existence for a moment before settling back down and looking into the pool with wide eyes. Posiedon almost busts a gut with how hard he’s laughing and you huff telling him that it wasn’t funny.

He says otherwise, but asks what you’re doing. When your face bursts into a large blush you mumble something that he doesn’t quite catch and he’s left with more questions than answers as you take the chance to phase out of the chamber when Zag walks in and steals his Uncle’s attention for a split second. He furrows his brow before asking his nephew about you, which Zag, surprisingly, supplies rather quickly, seeing as the two of you talk a lot: apparently you’re deathly afraid of water after you were thrown into the ocean by your supposed best friend. The memories of the waves crushing you deeper and deeper beneath them sticking with you even in death. So, you were trying to curb that phobia. Posiedon nods, letting the words sink in before he offers the Little Hades a thumbs up and says he’ll help with that.

The next time you see the god, he’s eager to call you over and explain that he’s figured out what you were doing last time and offers to let you mess with some of the drops of water that follow him wherever he goes. You stare at them, eyebrows furrowed and looking just as sick as a shade could look. Yet, you still nod your head and hold out a shaky hand. He smiles at you, praising you for your courage and flicks one towards you; it floats gently before it rests serenely on your palm, allowing you to feel the cool sensation of the droplet. You marvel at it, still shaking with an anxiety before you nod. He pulls it away, it shoots back to rest next to his head and you thank him for going out of his way to help you and ease your fears.

He remarks that you should fear the water out of respect: it’s unpredictable, terrifying in it’s own right- vast and, seemingly, never ending, what could possibly be more terrifying than the unknown, hm? He continues to say that you should also hold onto a bit of bravery at the very least, for untold treasures come from there for those who look.

After that conversation, Poseidon makes it a habit of having you hold onto his droplets of water, making them slightly bigger each time for you to get used to them.

By the time you’re able to touch them freely without experiencing crippling fear- the droplets are almost the size of you. Poseidon praises you the more you grow out of your fear.

You do eventually open up to him about how you died and he never tells you that he already knew. Just allows you to talk in a soft voice as you recall it. It’s a nice bonding experience for the both of you and Posideon decides that you’re his favorite Shade and he’ll treasure you for as long as you exist.

The first time you get him a bottle of Ambrosia, you come to him shivering and sopping wet. He’s confused and concerned as he hovers to you.

“What happened to you, Little Shade? Are you alright?”

It takes you a moment to be able to speak. “I- I found a bottle of Ambrosia. I thought-” you take a deep breath, holding out the bottle with both hands- “I thought you’d like it.”

It’s one of his prized possessions now, he takes little sips of it once in a while, but other than that it remains as one of his most precious memories. He’s very attached to you at this point and you’ll forever have his blessing. His gift to you, aside from the undying loyalty, is a shell necklace, if you ever need him- you only need to whisper his name to it and he’ll appear in an instant.

Athena

Cause of Death: Exhaustion

Athena had been prepared to meet with Zagreus- not a curious shade staring back up at her with all the relevance of one of her worshippers.

“What business do you have with me?”

She raises her brow at your gobsmacked expression, watching as you screw your face up before bowing. “Apologies, m’lady, I only happened to bump into your…” you look at where it glows, furrowing your eyebrow, “your orb?”

“Boon.”

You nod your head in understanding before bowing your head again. “Again, my sincerest apologies.”

Luckily, she didn’t smite you, instead asking the question of how you were even talking to her. Getting a shrug from you, you say that maybe it’s because you worshipped her (unofficially, you were never able to make it up to her shrine much to your disappointment) when you were alive- maybe a deeper bond is there compared to someone who had never prayed to her for her protection and guidance.

When she hears this, she’s very interested, pressing you to elaborate further when the Young Prince comes jogging out of the glowing window, waving to you. You slink away, passing the boon to him and bowing to her once again before you disappear into the mass of Shades that choose to wander their new home as well.

After the conversation, you had caught the Goddess’ attention, planting a desire in her to see you again. Even going as far as to write a letter to ask her uncle for a council with you after a week passed of her placing her boon in Tartarus so that maybe you would drift too close to it once again. But each time only the little prince would find them (which she was fine with, but it still left such an unflattering taste of defeat on her tongue each time it wasn’t you). She figured it would be a moot point to send the letter, but it was worth a try.

But she decided to place her boon down once more before she sent it out. Just to try. And this time it worked.

You were the one she saw and she was absolutely delighted- not that she showed it, choosing to keep her stoic and sharp expression. You greet her in a similar way before: awed before bowing your head to her. You continue to go on about how you're happy to see her again and, despite how little you had been buried with, you hoped that she would take this- a broken sword, despite the worn hilt and the deep scars the littered what was left of the flat of the balde; it was still polished (at least what was left of it)- as a proper offering to her for all she had done in your life- even if it truly wasn’t all her doings.

She takes the sword in her hand, holding it high, her eyes shining as she studies it: truly, it was a warrior’s blade. She watches as the history and memories flash in the smooth iron. She remarks that it is a remarkable offering, but she cannot accept it. It feels wrong taking a weapon of a warrior such as yourself.

You smile as her, shaking your head, urging her to take it, for you didn’t need that blade in this afterlife. You had already fought your battles, killing the man who you had been battling with and quelling the rage that had followed you since you were a child for revenge. Eventually, dying from the strain of the fight with a feeling of contentedness.

Athena raises her brow, remarking how that sounded more along the lines of Ares rather than her.

You nod, but say that you couldn’t help but desire her help for she was the goddess attached to your favorite animal. She had to fight the urge to laugh, a shaky smile slipping through as she nods at you. Such a silly thing you are. She decides that she’ll take the sword as a reminder of you, no matter where you should go now. She also decides that you were forming a rather soft cradle in her heart.

After this, she is quick to ask Zagreus about you every chance she gets- not that he minds too much, he tells her about how you’ve been helping him train and you’ve even told him about your life when you were alive (“a general, can you believe that? They’re so young!” Zagreus says as he shows her the new move you taught him). She’s only the slightest bit miffed at hearing that you and Achilles have begun to form a sweet friendship. She’s pleased to hear that his father has been trying to barter with you to get you into Elysium, though she’s a tad confused on the reason you refuse to.

She asks you about it one day and you say that it would take longer to see her and you would prefer to avoid that. It was the only time the goddess has ever had to fight down a blush.

When you get her a bottle of Ambrosia, she’s in pure awe at the huge bottle.

“How did you get one this big?”

You lean against the new sword you managed to get your hands on- something simple and obviously used- you offer her a lopsided grin. “Well, not just any Ambrosia would work, so I decided to try my luck with Lord Theseus and, The Great Bull, Asterius. Took me a couple of tries but I managed to beat them and snag it.”

Athena smiles warmly at it, telling you that she’ll treasure it and think of you every time she takes a drink of it. She realizes in that moment just how important you had become to her, never feeling this… soft for a mortal soul in her life. Her gift to you is a shield and a new sword: the shield bares her symbol of an owl while the sword was ornate with a divine glow. She promises that no matter what they’ll protect you and so will she, you only need to call out her name.

Aphrodite

Cause of Death: A Broken Heart

When the Goddess of Love first sees you- she thinks you’re absolutely gorgeous (of course not as gorgeous as her). The sad look in your eye and the slight frown that rests on your lips makes her almost fall in love right then and there.

“Hello, little one- do you know where the little godling is?”

You shake your head. “I’m sorry, Lady Aphrodite. I know not where he is.”

She raises her brows, a smile on her face. “How did you know I was Aphrodite, my dear?”

You look up at her, a sudden glint in your eyes has her yearning to see it once again. “No one else could be so breathtaking, my Lady.”

Oh. Oh, she likes you.

She chooses to chatter away with you- despite you mostly listening, adding little things here and there, she feels a strange sense of fullness, like she just ate a full and warm meal for the first time in a very long time, by the time Zagreus arrives. You bid your farewell and she can’t help but follow you with her gaze as your transparent form blends in with the other Shades.

Aphrodite is thrilled the next time she runs into you- or rather you run into her boon. She missed the melancholy look in your eyes, she also doesn’t miss the fact that you’ve come bearing gifts this time: an assortment of colorful flowers rests in your arms and you offer it to her. That glint coming and going like a shooting star as she accepts the offering, holding it up to her nose to take in their sweet scent. How sweet were you to hand her something so delicate.

She asks you where you got them and you remark that you made your way up to Elysium. She’s surprised to hear as such- you didn’t seem like the warrior type. You shake your head, your eyes sweeping low. You weren’t a warrior, far from it- a simple florist if anything. You just drifted until you made it up there and plucked some flowers to make bouquets. You mumble that maybe you’ll be more useful in death.

She tilts her head at the comment, beginning to ask until Zagreus is jogging up to the both of you and it was time for you to leave. She’s a tad annoyed, but reminds herself that the little godling didn’t know- simply trying to break out of this dreary place he calls home and see Olympus in all its glory. She’ll just ask next time.

You gave her another bouquet, this one more beautiful than the last, when she gets the chance to ask you her question. Your eyes pool with a mournful look as you gaze up at her, your hand resting over the place where your heart used to beat as you look to the ground. You explain that you were young when you were wed- just as you were young when you died. You were married off to someone you did not love- someone awful, vile, who beat you down daily just to build you back up so they could laugh when they toppled you over once again. You remark about how you could feel yourself dying little by little, your delicate heart bleeding as your want for life began to dwindle away. You grew sick and you would sit by the window day in and day out, staring out and wondering what your life could have been if you were married to someone you loved. A ghost of a smile blooms on your lips as you look up at her, that glint she oh-so loved twinkling in your eye as you say that you did not die in as much loneliness and pain as you could have; having been making a bouquet dedicated just to her love and sweetness: your Lady Aphrodite who you love, ever so much.

She’s shocked when she realizes the tears that drip down her cheeks, her hand coming to caress your cheek (really your head, she was hulking compared to your small form) with her fingertips. She comments that she would accept every bouquet you made and treasure each flower like it was the one you made for her with your last breaths in the living world.

After that interaction, she comes down a lot more, asking Zagreus if he could bring along her darling florist so that she could talk to you. He always obliges, loving to see the two of you chatter about (well, her chatter about, you usually just listened with a smile on your face as you used the flowers you had plucked into flower crowns for him and Lady Aphrodite). You two become a sort of comfort for him when he’s getting frustrated: seeing your usually melancholy demeanor light up as soon as the goddess appears and in turn the goddess becomes something less vain and more gentle as she speaks to you.

At some point, you’ll probably meet Ares himself- the two never that far from each other, also she adores you, so it only makes sense for you to meet him. He’s honestly a tad unimpressed when you first meet, but when he hears about the heart ache you faced he gains a sense of respect for you, remarking that love is a battle in and of itself and you fought valiantly to keep your ability to love freely (Aphrodite might convince you to have a threesome, I’m not gonna lie, she’s attracted to you on a deep level and she has her trysts with Ares- it’s perfect in her eyes. Though she won’t push you if you don’t desire it).

When you first get her Ambrosia, she’s flabbergasted before it turns into worry for how you got it and the potential danger you were in.

She takes the bottle of gold liquid and the flowers that you had so carefully arranged. Her attention, though, is focused on the said bottle of Ambrosia. “My Darling Florist, how did you get this?” Before you can answer she shoots into a flurry of questions. “Are you alright? Did anything catch you? Hurt you? You don’t seem hurt. Oooh-” she puffs her cheeks out, her gaze sharp- “why did you get me this? It’s dangerous!”

You wait for her to calm down. “I apologize for making you worry, but I simply snuck around and grabbed it from some witches- they didn’t even notice me. And I-” you tap your fingers together, a blush blooming across your face as you look away from the goddess and she decides that she craves seeing that expression on you again- “I thought that you deserved it. It’s a much better offering than my silly bouquets.”

Well, aside from the ‘silly bouquets’ comment (which she corrects you on very quickly), she’s absolutely flattered and it might be the final nail in the coffin that has her falling for you, the little shade in front of her. She decides that you hold a piece of her heart in your translucent hands, though she chooses to keep that information to herself.

Her gift to you is a hairpin that matches hers, though if you don’t have enough hair- she says, you can always pin it to your robe. It’s a blatant claim on her part, but it also helps ease the residual heartache that followed you into death. And, hopefully (a personal hope of her), each time you look at it, you’d fall deeper and deeper in love with her as well.

Artemis

Cause of Death: Arrow to the Heart

She’s confused when she sees you, quick to voice her confusion as well. Also depending on if you're more feminine or masculine (and I don’t mean woman or man, I just mean how you present yourself), she will treat you differently depending. So, for now, we’re gonna go with the more “feminine” option:

“Who’re you?”

You bow. “An honor to meet you, Lady Artemis, I seem to have bumped into that orb on accident. Wasn’t sure what it did and the curiosity got the better of me.”

She hums, she perks when she notices your bow. “You’re a hunter?”

You smile, holding it out to her. “Yes, indeed, my Lady- I prayed to you a lot.” You laughed, adding. “Hoped to join your hunters when I was young.”

She’s quite happy to hear that and begins to chatter along with you. For some reason feeling oddly at ease around you. It’s probably because you were a fellow hunter but she simply can’t help the way she grows an odd sort of… adoration? Something like that, she thinks- for you. She almost laments the fact when Zagreus comes to get the boon.

You nod to him, biding your farewell to the Goddess and passing the boon to the Prince. She doesn��t miss how Zagreus’ eyes shine as you walk away. She almost comments on it but bites her tongue, wanting to observe the prince and the dreamy look that drifts over his features, even as you disappear.

The next time the two of you meet, she asks if she can see you in action. You agree and search up ahead to find something to demonstrate your skills on. You’re quick to find a few Numbskulls. She watches as you take a deep breath, your eyes narrowing on your unassuming targets and your footsteps become silent as you skirt closer to them. You nock an arrow, never looking away. Her eyes gleam with thrumming adrenaline at the way the muscles in your arms tense as you draw the string back. The low groan of the wood barely above a whisper as you wait for them to line up. You hold your breath, releasing the arrow- it goes through all three of them, making them break into dust in a consecutive line, a harrowing scream being wretched from them as they fade from existence. You release the breath you were holding and stand, sending a smile to the young goddess whose eyes shine with stars.

She praises you for your amazing skill and sings of your prowess. You shake your head, looking down at the ground as you argued that you were but a simple bow folk in your living life. Nothing more, nothing less.

She begs to differ! That type of skill only belongs to those of her highest ranking huntresses! She continues to gush about you until Zag comes up and, once again, greets the both of you. That dreamy look coming over his face as he looks at you. She watches as you once again disappear into Tartarus, this time though, after you’re gone, she turns to her cousin and shoots into a tangent about why he had never told her about you before and where did you come from? She has to know!

He answers all of her questions to the best of his abilities but there are even some he doesn’t know about, for example: how you died.

Artemis accepts this and decides that she’ll just ask you the next time the two of you meet.

And, true to her word, she does. She asks you point blank and you can’t help but be slightly taken aback. You laugh softly, leaning on your bow as you begin to recount that you were traversing her forest, as you had done many times before, and noticed fresh foot prints of man. You decided that it would be a good idea to look and you found hunters trying to kill her Golden Stag. You had dove in as quickly as you could, shooting one- the arrow sailing in a clean arch through his wrist before he could let loose his arrow. But as you went to nock another arrow- a searing pain in your chest and heart. You looked down to see blood pooling around your robes, dying the olive green of your cloak a wine red. You remember the last thing you saw was the Golden Stag running away. You smiled telling her that you were happy he got away- you don’t know what you’d do if he had been captured despite your effort.

Artemis suddenly remembers that day: her stag rushing to her and urging her to follow him- he bounded through the forest, frantic and panicked. When they got to a clearing, she was quick to notice the blood and the drag marks of a body. Her stag pressed his nose to the ground sniffing at the pool of blood, his eyes watering and bulbous tears slid down his muzzle. It suddenly made sense. You were the one he was mourning for.

She couldn’t help but grab your hands, resting her forehead against the back of them; thanking you for protecting her stag when she couldn’t. You smile at her, bowing your head to her and thanking her for the countless hunts she went on with you. You pull your hands away from her and hold out your bow to her. She asks what you think you're doing in a watery voice and you say it’s an offering. You couldn’t give much when you were alive and you still can’t give much now, but, this bow- it shall treat her right.

She sniffles as she takes it, trying to hold in tears. She vows to treasure it for all of time as she admires the worn wood.

That day, the two of you became closer as comrades, she would actively come down to say hi to you (and encourage Zagreus to take the leap and court you after she learned of his growing affections for you). The two of you would talk about everything you could think of, explaining how your hunting styles differed or how you could set a trap easier. She had realized that she had never felt this carefree with anyone before. She felt like a child. It felt nice.

When you snag her a bottle of Ambrosia- she’s swaddled in a whirlwind of emotions.

“You… You got this for me?” She asks as she takes the bottle of golden liquid.

You nod, that gentle smiling spreading across your face. “Of course. You had helped me so many times- it is only fair, my Lady-”

“Artemis-” she sniffled, rubbing her eyes with her knuckles- “call me Artemis, my friend.”

She finds you to be a perfect friend- a breath of fresh air from home. She may not feel any romantic feelings towards you, but she still holds you in a dear place in her heart. Her gift to you is a new bow and quiver that will never run out of arrows. The bow is enchanted and you’ll never have to fear it breaking for it will protect you for as long as you exist- in this realm or another.

Ares

Cause of Death: Blood Loss

When Ares first sees you, he is… well- he’s impressed that you stumbled upon his boon, but at the same time… He’s a tad miffed? That you found it?

At the very least he’s condescending as all hell about it:

“What is this? A little lamb came to beg me for power? How foolish. No matter how hard you struggle you will never be much more than some little shade.”

“Ah, sorry, my Lord! Didn’t mean to bump into it!” You hold up the basket in your translucent arms, “I wanted to see if I could find some new ingredients to bake with! I do oh-so miss it, sir.”

Well, he wasn’t expecting that.

He ends up allowing you to chatter on with him despite his obvious judgement on your, what he calls, “soft mortal hobby” until Zagreus comes to do his daily try of breaking out from the Underworld.

As he watches you drift away (after passing the boon and giving words of good luck to the Prince, who happily takes it), he kinda hopes to see you again

And see you again he does! He literally sees you the next day- night? Whatever, he’s never sure when he drops a boon in there- it’s damn dark-

He’s presented with a basket of treats and your gleeful greeting as you chatter that you found ingredients to make some Baklava and you thought that, maybe, he’d like to try it?

He smiles- cruel and sharp- and asks if you truly think that this is a fit offering for a god such as himself?

You shrug, saying he doesn’t have to eat it if he doesn’t want to

He laughs and takes it and you two are off chattering again: him regaling you with his war stories and you of the ingredients you had (somehow) found down here until Zag shows up, once again, the boon is passed to him (this time along with a slice of the delicious, warm Baklava. Which, he’s confused on what it is but he finds out very quickly that it’s his favorite treat).

The two of you talk a lot, which Ares is pleasantly surprised about, usually he’s the scorn of everyone- not that he cares, it causes conflict and he likes that. But you’re so calm and sweet that he just can’t get a rise out of you. Which, on one hand, pisses him off to no end, but, on the other, it’s such a nice change of pace for him. He’s used to the bloodshed and animosity of battlefields- the iron tinged air that follows after the warriors that traverse those fields. And yet, here you are: a shade that always has a treat for him when you run into him and the smell of warm sweetness wafting after you.

So when he learned exactly how you died- he was absolutely floored.

“How did you die, little baker?” He asked one day, fiddling with his knife, tilting it discreetly so that your reflection was in it.

“Oh!” You smiled sheepishly, glancing away from him and placing the bag of flour (how did you even get that? He’d have to ask you next) back into your basket. “Well- you see, I bled out.”

He raised his eyebrow, suddenly very interested. “How? You’re so…” he tilted his head and flipped his knife so that the blade pointed at him and the hilt pointed at you, he poked your arm with said hilt. “Soft.”

“Well…”

You explain that you had a little brother who had a nasty habit of getting into trouble- he was a good person, just made foolish choices- and this time, it had cost you your life. He had pissed off the wrong person and, well, when the man had attempted to grab your brother when the two of you were out walking the stalls on your break- you did the only thing you could think of: you fought.

Of course it went horribly, you’ve never been in a fight before then and, despite all the work you did with dough, it didn’t help much when the man pulled out a knife and dug it straight into your gut. But, you don’t mind too much- your brother’s alive and well and, from what you understand from asking Lord Hades, he had started to be more aware of himself and who he angered. Which made you super happy and proud of him!

Ares can’t help but feel some sort of pity for you. So much life to be taken so quickly and placed in- wait. Why weren’t you in Elysium?

You’re incredibly confused when Ares suddenly disappears (Aphrodite appearing in his place in the blink of an eye- she greets you happily and asks if you have any of Baklava to share today. You do not but you do have some Loukoumades if she wanted some. She did). You’re even more confused when the Underworld shakes and angry yelling fills the entirety of it for a solid ten minutes before all goes back to normal.

You tell Ares about it the next day and he simply hums. Keeping it to himself that he made a whole scene about you not being in Elysium by popping up and butting heads with Hades, of course he got kicked out. That still doesn’t stop him from sending angry letters that can span anywhere from one word letters (usually containing a curse word) to a 30 page essay on why you should be in Elysium instead of milling about in such unkempt places.

The first time you go out of your way to get him a bottle of Ambrosia is the day that both scares the shit out of him and makes him hate you for giving him mushy feelings.

You came to him in, almost literal, tatters: your greenish, transparent form ripped in places, the few wisps of you following after your torn form like they were tied to a string. You had held it up to him in a basket, a plate of Baklava sitting next to it, along with some other treats. “Lady Aphrodite mentioned that she wanted to try my Baklava, so I made her some! Though the Ambrosia is just for you, my Lord!”

He blinked at you, taking the basket in a delicate hold. He turned it this way and that, his chest feeling… warm? He wanted to grimace at the soft warmth that thrummed through his veins, yet it was replaced with a smile as he held up the gold liquid. “Thank you, little Baker.”

It was the first time he felt something so unexplainably soft: so gentle and warm as it settled somewhere between the bottom of his ribcage and the top of his stomach. He listened as you told him how you had gotten it: with Zagreus’ help (you even got to meet Lord Hermes! It was so amazing! He had scoffed at that) he led you to a room with Ambrosia as the prize and, despite the young prince’s worry, you managed to beat the monsters and collect it, mostly, by yourself.

Ares was so flattered, but he couldn’t help the way that your tattered form made him feel a sort of worry. He waved his hands through the wisps of your body before he snapped his fingers and a small blade appeared: a beautifully constructed blade that was an exact replica of his (albeit much, much smaller). He handed it to you, telling you that you should have a proper weapon if you’re going to go out of your way to fight in his name.

Dionysus

Cause of Death: Alcohol Poisoning

Dionysus, unlike many, is incredibly excited to see you sitting there. He adores mortal souls and can’t help but look at them each time Zag chooses his boons and he has the chance to glimpse at their souls (despite his tendency to let them go completely after they die- he can’t help but wonder about them once in a while).

“Why, hello there! What’s a little thing like you doing strolling up to my boon, hm?”

He can’t help but notice the way your eyes are a tad dull, but he writes that off as the dark of Tartarus since it’s gone as fast as he noticed it. You smile up at him, absolutely beaming at the God of drink and madness. “Hello, Lord Dionysus!”

“Oho, you could tell it was me? What gave it away?”

The two of you laugh, diving into a conversation. He offers you a cup of wine and is put off with how long it takes you to decline it. He almost thought you looked absolutely ravenous as you peered into the deep red liquid. He shrugs it off and continues to chatter with you until his favorite Zagman stumbles upon the two of you. He’s quick to say hi to you and even leans down to ask you… something. Dionysus misses it, but still watches the way you stiffly nod before you pass the boon to the prince and scurry off.

He’s tempted to ask about it, but decides that he should probably ask you himself instead of trying to pry. Mortals didn’t take well to people snooping around their private lives, which he could respect.

The next time he sees you though, he relaxes you into a sort of peaceful lull as he chats with you before he drops the question.

You stare blankly at him, that dark look in your eye coming back and making his skin crawl. You suddenly laugh it off waving your hands as you tell him that a god shouldn’t worry about a little ol’ shade like you.

He doesn’t push for an answer but the question still swirls in his mind, even as you toddle off after his Zagman pops up. He decides that he’ll actually ask the Prince this time around.

He asks him point blank and Zag, despite him being hesitant at first, decides to spill how you died. You had been the black sheep of your family, never truly fitting into the carefully set path that they wanted you to follow- so you found solace in drinking from a young age. It had taken the edge off of everything, Zagreus recounted you telling him. It filled you with a warmth you had been missing all your life and you couldn’t help but indulge more and more in it until it slowly became your own personal poison. Dionysus grimaced, for once feeling a sort of queasiness in the pit of his stomach as Zagreus continued on with your story. So, one day, you had drunk yourself into a deep stupor after an awful argument with your parents. But, this time, you never woke up. Instead you woke up floating in the river of blood- the River of Styx.

Dionysus had nodded after the Prince finished the story, playing with the goblet in his hand and swirling the red wine that resides in it. He offers a bitter smile to Zag and bids his farewell (of course leaving a boon of his choice with the lad) popping off back to Olympus.

The next time he runs into you, he asks if you’re feeling alright- if you want to talk. You blink at him, confused at first until realization dawns you. You bite your lip, looking down. He’s quick to assure you that you didn’t have to talk about anything- you two could just have a good time like always. You tell him that you’d like that, not yet ready to face your past. He nods, immediately telling you about an embarrassing story about Ares and how much of a lightweight he was which had you letting out an ugly snort along with your loud cackles.

The god begins to take it upon himself to have you smiling more and maybe remedy those dark clouds that appear in your eyes once in a while. He’s pretty observant despite being piss drunk half the time, it also helps that he’s very intune to your emotions for some odd reason, so he’s quick to pick up on when you feel down or your having something the equivalent to a relapse. He has you drink just a little bit from his goblet since it’s better than quitting cold turkey. And that little bit is always enough to quench your thirst and calm you down. You’ve been needing less and less of it as the days (nights?) pass by.

The first time you get Dionysus Ambrosia is the same day that he almost swears that he’ll marry you. He’s quick to grow emotional with the sheer fact that you went out of your way to get something so special for him, his face almost splitting with how wide of a smile he has on his face.

“You got this for me, man?” He says, holding up the bottle in his hand and inspecting it like it’s a precious jewel. “You know this stuff is hard to come by, super hard.”

You nod, the clouds far from your eyes now. “I had to thank you some way and punching a couple of Shades to get my hands on that was worth it.”

“You punched people for me?”

“Of course.”

He fights the urge to squeal and pops the top off, summoning another cup and pouring some in it. “Here’s to us!” He says as he hands you the cup.

He’s honestly never had so much fun just existing with one person. After that he’s never far from you, one usually not seen without the other around- even despite the Underworld not being Dionysus’ favorite place, he can’t help but be willing to venture down there to see you in person (he’s been trying to convince his wonderful Uncle Hades to let you come up with him to Olympus for a little bit- he’s even got his dad and (other) Uncle in on it. Hades officially hates all of them). His gift to you is a matching goblet that will supply you any beverage of your choice. It also has the double power to protect you from all that wishes to harm you, but you’ll learn that in due time. It’ll be more fun that way, Dionysus muses.

Hermes

Cause of Death: Falling

Usually, Heremes wouldn’t have taken the time of day to chatter mindlessly with a shade. But, it was a different story when that shade summoned him through bumping into his boon- now it’s just interesting!

“Eh? Who’re you? It’s kinda strange for a shade to be here and not my Cos, huh? Did something happen to him? You his stand in or something? That’d be kinda funny because you don’t seem like his stand in- not buff enough or something like that.”

You blink slowly taking in the words of his mile a minute speech as he continues to prattle on. You take a seat in front of the quick mouthed god, getting yourself comfortable as he flutters about and chatters. Not like you minded- he filled in the places where you couldn’t with steady conversation. You nod to some of the quips he makes, just to show you were still listening.

He decides then and there that he likes you a lot and that you should meet Charon. As soon as Zagreus pops up to collect the boon- he grabs the back of your robes and goes zooming off with you in tow. You wave to the panicked prince, allowing yourself to be dragged around. He continues to chatter on and on, only taking a break when he reaches the Boatman (who was not expecting a Shade to be accompanying the God of Messengers). He sets you down, tries to introduce you two to each other- realizes he doesn’t know your name, so you end up telling them your name- and then is quick to say goodbye, after he gives a scroll to Charon, and shoots off.

You end up staying with Charon after learning a bit more about the quiet boatman and Hermes is quite pleased when he realizes that he’d be seeing you around a lot more. He’s quick to flutter about you and chatter for a few quick seconds before zipping off. You wave at him.

The process repeats for a while before he finally takes a moment to really sit with you, Charon having gone to pick up more souls and lead them down the River of Styx. He chatters on aimlessly, asking little questions here and there before he decides to ask the million dollar question: “How did you die?”

You blink slowly as him before murmuring that you fell from a very high place, you head cracking open on the rocks at the bottom and now here you are. He asks why you were messing about on a high place, as that seemed to be something most mortals avoided doing. You explained that there was a kitten stuck in an old root on the ledge and you couldn’t just leave her. So, you crawled onto the branch and put her back onto safe ground, but the root gave way and then you went tumbling to your doom.

Hermes is surprisingly quiet throughout the entire exchange until you reach the end and he says: “you’re a real bleeding heart under all that quiet, huh?” You nod solemnly and he laughs, pulling you into a side hug. How could something with such a fleeting life be so selfless with it? He squeezes you harder before he stands up and bids you farwell, shooting off once again. And, again, you wave as he goes.

He grows attached to you quickly afterwards, bringing you little things that might help make you more comfortable down in the Underworld. Of course Charon is there to keep you company which he’s happy about- and he voices that exact thought to the boatman, who just grumbles out a long: uuuuaagghhh as his reply. He pats his arm and says that he knew he’d get it.

When you manage to get your hands on a bottle of Ambrosia- he’s completely blind sided that he almost trips on his own feet. His face flushing a deep red as he takes the offered bottle.

“How’d- how’d you get this?” His speech is all jumbled and jumpy, though he tries to keep the giddy excitement bubbling in his stomach as bay.

“I saved up my coin,” you said, nodding to Charon who nods back. “And bought it from Charon. I would’ve fought for it, but I’m no warrior.”

A smile splits across his face and the wings on the side of his head flutter. He’s quick to scoop you up and hug you, floating up with you as he does.

Hermes is an absolute giddy mess with your offering, not sure if he should kiss you or simply remain holding you. He had a special place for you before but this just solidifies his adoration for you. His gift to you is a pair of boots with wings on the side of them- an exact replica of his (in your size! Somehow-). He promises that they’ll help you get anywhere you want quickly, also the two of you match! How cute is that?

[the-bjd-community-confess]

Soooo, just a question. To the people who say they'll unfollow, disavow, and whatever people who buy the HP dolls... are you gonna do the same to people who buy from Asian companies? Especially Chinese. Most of the countries where BJD's are produced are incredibly cishetero normative, LGBT-phobia is still widely normalised and encouraged, even within the laws, despite many LGBT people's effort in those countries. Especially transphobia!

And before you're like "Well the companies might not share the viewset of the Government" Ok ... did you ask? Or are you just hoping you're supporting an ally by buying from them? Or is it ok as long as you don't know if they're raging homo/bi/transphobes? Schrödinger's transphobia I guess. "I can keep buying, as long as I don't know, that way I'm always right!"

I mean, it's been known since 2019 the shit Ringd0ll wrote about the Hong Kong protests, and people are still buying from them, despite the company literally supporting police brutality and the CCP's overreach of power, when no other company from China did that. (For anyone wanting to excuse RD via ThEy hAd tO!" That was all on RingD0ll, which they published all over their business pages. I mean, I was specifically talking about LGBT rights, and acceptance, but what about human rights? Are you going to call out anyone buying from Chinese companies, and tell them they're supporting the Government performing human rights violations? For a fully optional hobby. It just kinda feels like this is done now to get those extra brownie points, but you don't wanna put your money where your mouth is.

Like, let me say it like this, it feels like people only care so long, as it's related to pop culture, and from the West. Because that way you can cry the loudest, and sit on your throne if self-righteousness, but you don't actually have to change anything about your buying habits or interactions with the hobby at large. And you don't have to even put basic effort into figuring out who you're buying from, or what their beliefs are. It's like you gotta be spoonfeed the shit people, and companies do, and even then you'll ignore the issues easiest to you, while crying out loudly about the things you have to put little effort into, to be outraged about. This isn't even a situation where you can say that "it's unavoidable to buy BJD's from Asia, esp China." like happens with essential services or food products, when you try not supporting mega companies who got their fingers in every hole. This a wholly avoidable part of life, and the hobby.

~Anonymous

[sxngshine]

Phobia

• Pairing: Chan x reader

• Word Count: 4.26k+

• Genre: Angst, Fluff, Smut

• Warnings: a bit of drinking, car sex, oral(M receiving), unprotected sex(wrap it up), switch!reader, dom!Chan idk what else but don't read if you don't like smut.

• Summary:idk how to explain without spoiling shhsshhs just read it.

• Notes: This was a long overdue story dedicated to @braveshin djsjxs. I had it half done but then went ia but now I'm kinda back so here you go🤧🤧. This is my first full/complete smut so apologies for the lack of knowledge in that part lmao. Happy reading💞! [Edited but possible mistakes lemme know if I missed smtn]

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You hadn't seen him in ages. After you both confessed to each other you thought everything would be all rainbows and peaches between the two of you. And to be honest it was. But then there was just one issue, the both of you were super awkward when it came to intimacy.

You always had the regular kisses and hand holding and hugs like every other couple. But the issue was that neither of you tried to go father in fear that the other wouldn't like it or would be uncomfortable.

That was 2 years ago. Now the both of you live separate lives without each other. He had gotten his dream job as an artist, you saw him on TV quite a lot and it made you miss him even more.

You got your dream job as well, one that allowed you to travel a lot and on the side you were a well known content creator. People admired you for being able not only work through a super busy schedule, but also create original content for your viewers.

The both of you had tried maintaining a long distance relationship, but you felt like you were drifting away from him because of your busy schedules and being unable to talk. You had enough of it one day, missing him and hating that he was never around anymore.

In the end, you both decided to stay friends but lost contact with each other in a matter of months.

There were many regrets that you had, many things you wish you had said and done but it was too late now. You never even once told him that you loved him properly and you always wished you could go back in time to tell him.

After so long, you would think you'd finally be over him, but here you are sitting in a club drinking your problems away.

You didn't really want to be here, you were on break for a few days and wanted to mope around your apartment after seeing him perform his newest album , but your friend dragged you here with a hope of loosening you up and after getting you to drink 6 shots of whatever concoction she stirred up, it started to work.

You didn't drink too much though, enough to get your mind off of things but not enough to be super hungover the next day.

You expected the night to go by with you sitting alone with your glass of whatever your friends gave you as you watched your people dance too close too each other.

What you didn't expect though, was to see him walk through the door. You were beyond shocked, what's he doing here?

It looked like his old group of friends dragged him here. You watched him discretely -or at least tried to- as he looked around the place with clear distaste in his eyes, wanting to be anywhere else except here. But the moment his eyes met yours, all those thought flew out of his head like they were never there in the first place. Your eyes widened and it was like time had stopped.

The harsh music in the background was nonexistent at this point and the other people disappeared. It was just you and him. His friends went to go find a vacant table but he made his way over to you instead.

You looked away and prayed he wouldn't come over but it was useless because in a matter of moments, you were faced to face with the one and only person you were trying to forget about.

"Y/N? Is it really you?" He asked, clear surprise in his eyes.

"Hey... Chan," you greeted, smiling nervously as you looked anywhere but his eyes.

"How're you? I haven't seen you for so long I almost didnt recognize you! You look so different," He exclaimed.

It was true, you completely changed your look after the both of you lost touch. Your once short hair was now at your waist, the once all black and baggy wardrobe was replaced with bright, slightly more fitting clothes (you were quite sad but you loved your new clothes so it was okay). You held yourself high with confidence which was foreign to him because you were normally so shy.

His eyes raked over your outfit, you wore a tight sparkly navy blue dress that ended mid thigh. Your shoulders and collarbones bare due to the skinny straps and low neck.

You couldn't help but look him over as well. He was clad in black ripped skinny jeans and a black tshirt, blonde hair untamed on his head. His chains sparkled under the flashy lights of the club and his leather jacket was doing his arms wonders. In other words, he looked hot. But you couldn't just say that.

After shamelessly checking each other out for a solid 2 minutes Chan cleared his throat.

"So uh, mind if I sit down?" He asked, giving you a small smile in which you returned with a nod.

The both of you started catching up, talking about your accomplishments and old memories you shared. You wanted to get some fresh air after a bit so the both of you grabbed your things and walked outside, the cool air sending pleasant shivers up your spine. You strolled down to the parking lot and Chan offered to drive you around in his car which you accepted.

"If you don't mind, can I take you somewhere?" He asked, after a few moments silence.

You nodded and Chan drove you both to wherever he wanted to take you. Fifteen minutes later the both of you arrived at a cliff that overlooked the city.

You remembered it being a place you and Chan visited often during the night, the city sparkling under you as the both of you goofed around. You had made many memories here.

"You still remember this place?" You asked, getting out of the car and walked over to the edge, leaning against the railing. "I haven't been here in ages!"

"How could I forgot? This was an important place to me." He answered, coming up beside you, looking over at the city illuminated by thousands of lights.

Then a silence fell upon the two of you. You didn't feel the need to say anything, just enjoying the silence and the distant buzz of the city. It was... comforting.

"I missed you Channie, I missed you a lot." You said out of nowhere. You weren't looking at him, but you could tell he was looking at you. The alcohol was getting to you but you didn't mind, needing the extra confidence.

"Ever since you left, I started regretting not doing so many things. I never got to tell you how much you meant to me, how important you were. I wish I could've told you how much I loved you and cared about you. How I never actually wanted to break up and how broken I became when we did," you felt tears form in your eyes as you poured your heart out to him.

"I said I was doing great before but I lied, I spent a good month locked in my room just crying. I was such a mess and then we just stopped talking and my whole world just broke apart and I just-" your voice cracked as tears now fell freely down your cheeks. You bent down and buried your face in your hands, sobbing hard.

Chan was so caught off guard with your confession, but he knew right now wasn't the time for him to be acting like that. He bent down beside you and pulled you into a hug, allowing you to cry as much as you needed while he rubbed your back.

When he felt like you had mostly calmed down, your hard sobs turning into small sniffles and hiccups, he released you from the hug.

"Y/N, look at me," he said, his hand coming towards your face. You reluctantly looked up at him, your eyes red and puffy with mascara running down your cheeks.

"When I left, it took everything in me not to just drop everything and stay. I was in a terrible state when we broke up, my members kept saying I looked like a literal zombie. There were so many times where I was gonna call you but backed away cause I thought you wouldn't want to talk anymore," he admitted.

"R-really?" You stuttered, trying to even out your breathing.

Chan nodded, his eyes flickering to your lips before going back to your eyes.

"Can I-" Chan tried to say but was cut off by your lips smashing into his. He wasn't prepared for it and fell back from the force, pebbles digging into his palms.

But Chan could care less, the only thing on his mind was how soft your lips felt against his. All that built up tension between the two of you had resurfaced and neither one of you were going to stop till you were relieved.

The both of you pull away after a long heated kiss, looking deeply into each others eyes.

"Wanna continue at my place?" Chan asked, breathing heavily. You shook your head and moved off of him.

"That'll take too long and I'm not in the mood for waiting." You said, standing up before lending him a hand.

Chan was surprised by your response but it turned him in even more. "Car?" He asked, taking your hand.

You nodded and dragged him to the back seat of his car, opening the door before pushing him in gently. Once he was in you climbed in after him and closed the door.

Wasting no time, you crawled onto his lap and cupped his cheeks. "Are you okay with this?" He whispered.

You nodded, whispering a small yes and kissed him again, your lips moulding together in perfect sync. You both of you have shared kisses before, but they were only light pecks, nothing more than that. If you knew kissing Chan would feel like this you would've done this a lot earlier.

Chans hands, which rested on your waist started travelling south to your ass and squeezed. You gasped into the kiss and he used the opportunity to push his tongue into your mouth.

He moaned as his tongue explored your wet and warm cavern, your tongues swirling around in unison. Chan lowered you onto the seat, hovering over you as he groped your ass.

Your arms were tightly wrapped around his neck, fingers pulling at his hair. You were in such a euphoric state you didn't realize that Chans hands had left your ass and were now removing the straps of your dress.

He moved to sit up so that he could see your half naked body, dress pooled at your hips and everything else exposed for his eyes to take in and admire. "Fuck you look so gorgeous.." Chan cursed before diving into your neck, leaving dark bruises all over your throat and collar bones.

"Chan.... take it off," you mumbled, pulling on his jacket as he attacked your neck. "I don't want to be the only nude one here,"

Chan quickly sat up and began removing his jacket, throwing it to some random corner in his car. He had been distracted trying to remove his shirt, and you took the opportunity to switch things around.

Before Chan could process what was happening, you had flipped him over onto the seat and straddled his legs, looking down at him with a mischievous smirk as you ran your nails down his solid abs, causing a shiver to run up his spine.

"What're you-" he tried to protest but you shushed him by placing your finger to his lips.

"I may have seemed like I'd submit to you before , but that's not the case here baby boy. I can dom quite well too," you winked at him, licking your lips at you took in his smooth pale skin and hard muscle. "Let me show you how much I love you too,"

You're head sunk down to press a soft kiss to his forehead. "Just relax and let me do the work," you whispered into his ear.

Chan decided to obey your wish for now, wanting to see where this would go. He was becoming harder every passing second as he felt your hand trace his abs and your mouth do wonders to his neck and chest, leaving hickeys all over.

You ground your clothed heat against his covered crotch and it was driving Chan crazy. "Quit teasing me and take it off already," he rasped.

You smirked and moved away from him. "Yes sir," you whispered, softly grinding your hips to his as you took your time unbuckling his belt. Chan had about enough of your teasing and quickly sat up, pushing you down onto the seat once again.

He glared at you as he quickly pulled down his pants, bringing his boxers down with it and brought a little relief to his rock hard cock.

You gawked at how large it was and Chan sat down on the seat, legs spread. "Put that pretty mouth to use babygirl," he demanded.

You knew exactly what he wanted and moved to first remove your dress off your hips, leaving you in just your panties. Grabbing his red and hard cock, you pumped it a few times before pressing a soft kiss to the angry red tip, eliciting a moan from Chan's mouth.

You licked a stripe from the base of his shaft back to his tip before taking it into your mouth. Chans fingers threaded into your hair and held the strands tight, pushing you all the way down his dick so your nose was touching his pelvis. Chan let out a loud groan, tip hitting the back of your throat as he pulled it out then back down your throat.

You felt tears prick your eyes has Chan showed no mercy to your throat. Your scalp was sore from the vice grip he had on your hair but you liked it, feeling your core become wetter than it was before.

You felt Chan twitch in your mouth but he pulled you off before he could come, hissing to himself as he held his orgasm in. When he felt as if he could continue without cumming with one touch he quickly motioned you to lay down once again

"You can show me how much you love me some other time babygirl, but right now I'm in charge," Chan said, hovering over your body once again.

His lips attached to your breast, rolling his tongue over the hard bud as his fingers hooked around your panties. He removed his lips from you at ask you for permission which you nodded to.

Instantly his mouth returned to working its magic on your nipples as he pulled your panties down your legs. He dropped them onto the floor, fingers slowly caressing up from your calves to your thighs, ghosting where you needed him the most.

He switched to your other nipple, once again ghosting over your core and you let out a small whimper. "Chan.. please I need you," you whined.

"I don't know... I'm having fun teasing you like this," Chan mused, moving his head away from your chest. He finally looked down at your core and smirked widely.

"Look at how wet you are babygirl, and I still have yet to touch you there," Chan's pride had gone through the roof, pleased that he could make you feel this way.

Finally showing you some mercy, he rubbed his fingers against your core, cause you to moan and buck your hips against his fingers, trying to get more friction.

Chan held your hips down with one hand while the other collected your wetness on his fingers, dipping in into your entrance. You let out a gasp as you felt his finger push inside you, not used the feeling.

"Goddamn Y/N, I only put in one finger but your still so tight," chan groaned, pumping his finger in and out of you before slipping in another one.

You moaned, bucking your hips against his fingers. You were so lost in trying to reach your high you didn't realize Chan stopped moving his fingers.

"Shit- that was so hot." Chan cursed. That's when you realized he wasn't moving. Your eyes snapped open and looked into his dark ones already staring hard at you.

"Do you like fucking yourself on my fingers? Does it make you feel good?" He asked, pulling his fingers out of you.

You whined, feeling your orgasm slipping away each second he wasn't touching you.

"When I ask a question I expect an answer babygirl," Chan demanded.

"Yes! Yes I do," you replied quickly, hoping he'd start doing something again.

"Do you want my fingers to make you come?" He smirked, his wet fingers lightly rubbing your folds.

"N-no! Please Chan I need you," you cried out when he pressed his fingers on your sensitive bud.

"What do you need babygirl? Tell me," he continued teasing you, fingers circling your entrance.

"I want you to fuck me please," you whimpered, hips twitching from his agonizingly slow movements.

"You'll need to do better than that," he retorted, stopping his actions.

"I-I want you to fuck my pussy with your cock Chan- hnmf!" You tried to say but were cut off by Chans fingers being pushed into your mouth. You instinctively swirled your tongue around his fingers, sucking your essence off his fingers.

"Such a good girl..." he muttered, taking his finger out of your mouth. He lined himself at your entrance before cursing under his breath.

"Can I go in raw? I don't have a condom on me.." Chsn asked, looking at you for permission.

"I'm on birth control, it's okay," you confirmed. Your heart swelled at how he still asked you for consent rather than just going in for it.

Chan didn't waste another second, slowly pushing his head into your throbbing pussy.

"Fuck..." you both moaned. Chan slowly eased his way into you, giving you time to adjust to his thick length stretching you out deliciously.

Your jaw fell slack when he bottomed out, feeling so full with him completely inside you. He gave you a second to adjust before drawing out of you almost completely and then pushing in again, setting a slow pace with deep thrusts.

You couldn't do anything but moan, fingers clutching Chans biceps as he lowered his head back to your chest.

"Chan.. harder.. go.. harder," you panted, letting out a loud moan when he did just that.

Both of you were lost in a euphoric state, trying to chase your own highs. You felt a knot like feeling in your stomach, one that was growing tighter and tighter with each hard and deep thrust Chan gave you.

"I-I'm so close," you cried when Chan hit a particular spot that really had you screaming.

"Cum baby," Chan whispered in your ear. And that's all it took for that tight knot to come undone.

You moaned Chans name as you came all over his cock, walls clenching around him so tight that it had him shooting his hot seed deep into your womb.

Chan help both of you rode out your highs, but didn't pull out just yet. You could feel him becoming soft inside of you.

"That was amazing..." you panted lightly, a smile gracing your face. Chan stared down at you, nodding his head in agreement.

He slowly pulled out of you, cum dripping from your pussy to your ass. Chan quickly grabbed a box of tissues from the back and cleaned the both of you up.

You sat up and pulled your dress back on, not liking how quiet Chan was being.

"Chan? Are you okay?" You asked. Chan's head snapped up, turning to you.

"What- oh uh.. yeah I'm okay," he said, but you were unconvinced.

"Come on, tell me what's wrong?" You pressed. Chan just sighed and ran a hand through his hair.

"I-I feel like I this was a mistake. I spent so long trying to get over you. I thought I was while I was overseas but then I was pulled to that stupid club and saw you. And all that time I spent getting over you went down the drain just like that. And to makes things worse, I just fucked you!" Chan admitted, frustrated he ruffled his hair aggressively.

You felt your heart shatter. He thought this was a mistake...? You swallowed hard, trying to keep the tears from forming.

"Y-you think what we did just now was a mistake?" You asked, voice cracking slightly.

Chan realized what he said and instantly started denying it. "No no no, I don't! It's just that, we spent so long getting over each other, you yourself said you're not over me. And i just made it worse for you,"

"I don't regret it Chan." You stated, looking at him with glassy eyes. "Everything that just happened, I don't regret any of it."

Chan looked at you sadly, pulling you into a hug. You buried your face into his shirt, feeling a few tears come out of your eyes and soak his shirt.

"Chan, if you could, would you date me again?" You mumbled, feeling kind of drowsy.

"Definitely. I wouldn't hesitate to ask you again," Chan answered. You thought for a second before replying.

"Then why aren't you saying anything now?" You ask. Chans brows knit together in confusion. He sits you up straight and looks into your eyes. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, what's holding us back from dating now?" You asked, looking right back into his eyes.

"Y/n... I'm gonna be travelling a lot. I'm only here for the week then I'm going to be going on tour for the next 2 or 3 months. We'd never work out. The same thing that happened before will happen again and I can't go through another heartbreak." Chan said dejectedly.

"I-I'll wait for you Chan, I swear. No matter how long it takes. I was selfish before and only thought of myself. I'm more open minded now, I don't mind waiting. Just please don't leave me again." You pleaded, hands clutching his shirt.

Chan felt his own tears forming, a small smile forming on his face. He cupped your cheeks, wiping the tears from your face.

"Are you sure? You'd have to be very patient with me then. I won't be able to text often, I'll be out of town at least 3 times a week, I won't always answer your calls. I'll be tired and unable to take you out on proper dates most of the time, they'd be pretty rare. Do you think you'll be able to handle all that." He asked, resting his forehead against yours.

"I'll be as patient as I possibly can. No matter how tired you are, or how far away you are or how busy you are. No matter what mood you're in. I'll support you however I can and be as understanding as possible. I promise." You answered, a smile forming on your face as well.

"Well then L/n Y/n, will you be my girlfriend... again?" Chan asked, giggling a little. Your smile turned into a grin and you kissed Chan softly.

"Does that answer your question?" You asked after pulling away. Chan pecked your forehead and nodded.

****

Chan was driving you home, not realizing how late it had gotten. He held your hand in his while keeping the other on the wheel, refusing to let go when you told him to keep both hands on the wheel.

You and Chan caught up along the way, with Chan talking about his music and future albums and you talking about your life as a content creator and your job. Chan, much to your dismay confessed to watching your videos when he was bored or too lazy to continue working, claiming that your videos were very entertaining and creative.

"The way you were trying to get dress coded at work had me laughing like crazy!" Chan exclaimed, stilling laughing while imitating how happy you were when you finally did get dress coded.

"Everyone's worn that shirt at least once! I was determined to wear it as well. Besides you gotta break the rules every now and then," you winked, giggling right after.

The both of you were silent for a little while, simply enjoying each others presence before you accidentally snorted out loud. Chan glanced you with an eyebrow raised. "What was that?"

"Sorry," you giggled, a faint blush on your face out of embarrassment. "I was just thinking about everything that happened. We did everything in the wrong order. You were supposed to asked me out first, take me in a date and then we'd get to the fucking stage. But we went straight to fucking then you asked me out."

"We're unique. We don't follow the rules." Chan laughed. "By the way, I'll take you on a date tomorrow."

You snorted again, loving how messed up your sequence was. "Okay, I can't wait."

And from then on you and Chan found yourselves living your best lives with each other. Nothing like the first relationship you had. Rather than showing a lack of affection and communication like before, you were much more the opposite. And that's exactly how you'd perfer it to be.

Fin.

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Should I make an alternate ending or a part 2👀? I kinda wanna make y'all cry jdsjka.

[i-did]

hi mlm here. so i want to write andreil smut but im a virgin so i have no idea what exactly sex is like. but i do not want to write it for the.... straight women gaze. what are some things that are accurate to write about. this is prolly super nsfw but i dont know who to ask.

Okay so this response took me literally months, and I'm sorry about that. I honestly was so excited when I got this question. I don't know why I put off responding?? But here I go: 

CW for discussion of NSFW, STD’s, and a lil homophobia

I bet a lot of people who write smut are virgins tbh, that's not to insult anyone or anything, but like writing is a non physical way to explore sex and fantasies by yourself, so you’re definitely not alone lol.

So you're MLM and want to write smut, (and others who want to get my opinions on writing non-fetishistic smut).

Porn is porn and can have unrealistic circumstances to fulfill said fantasy, such as anything from people messing around in locker rooms to tentacles.

To get a general sense of what is common in MLM sexuality, (rather than the typical feminine gaze that is seen in smut) looking at gay porn and gay porn categories is good insight. 

Bear culture, muscle culture, leather culture, etc. 

These are obviously still porn and unrealistic, however being attracted to sweat, jockstraps, and muscles is very common outside of porn. 

Bear culture is a body-positive movement that started because of the gay community's fat-phobia, age-phobia, and overall shittyness about body hair. 

Leather culture is also really big, it started because of the belief that gay men couldn’t be dominant or “masculine”, even in bed. So in America, leather culture was a way a lot of MLM embraced themselves. 

Going to pride, you will see many men wearing those leather harnesses, it doesn't indicate a preference of topping or bottoming necessarily, they're just something mlm wear and has grown quite popular in the culture, I've known some men to say it feels like a security blanket for them. 

And I think it’s very important to understand these cultures or at least be aware of them on a base level if you’re going to write gay porn. 

Also looking at erotic MLM art made by men, there is Tom of Finland, who was very historically significant, and is the most famous erotic gay artist. There is gay literature, one that openly talks about sex quite frankly is the book “We Both Laughed In Pleasure: The Selected Diaries of Lou Sullivan” which is a series of diary excerpts from a real gay trans man where you follow his life up until he died during the aids epidemic. He talks about sex with partners and discovering himself as well as what being a gay man means to him. He has a real love for sex in a way that is very unashamed and interesting to read about. We know that he wrote the latter half of his diaries with the plan of compiling them and publishing them but he passed away and people in his life carried out this wish for him. He is considered a significant part of gay and transgender history because of this, and his diaries are in LGBT museums. 

Reading gay poetry, looking at gay art, erotic, romantic, grungy, whatever, and you will find and see how they portray things differently than when it’s not portrayed by gay men usually. I mean there is a clear difference between yaoi and bara and that's the audience and authors. Some yaoi are made by MLM, (well technically their called gei comi, or gay comics in Japanese)

“Also known as ‘gei comi’ or ‘men's love,’ bara comics are by men, for men. There is a yaoi equivalent to this, and it is called ‘gachi muchi’-- it is written by women, for women.” – myanimelist.net (lol)

 but more than 90% aren't. I haven't ever heard of a non-MLM bara artist, but I'm sure there's at least one. 

Of course, I've seen things depicting MLM just together pretty realistically that didn't feel like it was written by someone who definitely wasn't MLM, but these scenes tend to be more writing in the general sense of art in the general sense rather than porn, which has a huge gap in characteristics between stuff usually written by MLM vs when it's written by women. (sorry about the binary language here)

I know some people don't like any realism in their porn, but I personally really like small details such as prep being mentioned, foreplay, even acknowledgment of the existence of condoms even if they choose to go without.

Especially as an MLM who lives in America currently, the ever-present acknowledgment and stigmatism of AIDS is around us. We think about it, even when we don't want to. An entire generation of MLM, trans people, and a lot of POC were wiped out. Not necessarily a PWP detail, but including discussion of prep, PrEP (the anti HIV medication) and/or getting tested, even for diseases besides HIV, is a small detail that I think is nice. MLM often have to have a moment when opening up a conversation about sex where HIV is mentioned, our dating apps and hook up apps have sections where you put positive, negative, non-transmissible/undetectable, or prefer not to say. The books take place in 2006 so PrEP didn't exist yet, but also the aids pandemic was happening when they were being born and as young kids, so it wasn't that long ago in society's mind. It's still illegal for many trans people and MLM to donate blood despite that the blood is screened for diseases after donation. 

Also, some realism I like is when a character isn't getting their ass ate first in the morning. Like, for me that's a huge turn-off because I think “holy fuck hygiene.” specifically with anal play I just really think even casually mentioning “washing up” or basic prep, or if you want more accuracy/details mention time between last meals or “x only ate a salad, so he would be fine”. It's like a joke in the gay community to eat chili fries or some shit on a date to indicate that either there will be no anal, or if there is you’re not going to be the one to do it, because you just fuckin ate those fries to say so. 

A cock just going in without prep and no condom is going to A) hurt very bad the body does not do that naturally and can cause injury B) get shit dick.

An also not sexy detail that is common for sex is just laying down a towel so you don’t have to wash sheets. Lube on hands? Wipe off on the towel that you’re on rn. Laying down a towel is pretty normal especially for anal. But this is if you’re going for a much more playing for accuracy sex scene. 

Honestly just writing fingering and prep and stuff like that in my opinion goes a long way and also gives the audience more to read. 

Also, sex is way more than peen in hole. Get creative, frottage, mutual masturbation, docking? Idk like thigh fucking, fucking buttcheeks but not hole, handies, blowies, anal oral, Neil doesn’t have to be the only one who gets his ass ate and things don’t have to follow formulas, in fact, they’re better when they don’t. 

Sex comes in many forms, and like I’ve definitely been with someone and he took off his shirt and I was like what, because he was skinny and clean-shaven and I didn’t expect him to have nearly as much chest hair as he did. I bet honestly Neil has a massive bush, like fuckin, massive. 

Andrew and Neil don’t have to like everything the same amount, Neil could be like “I wanna lick your armpit” and gets really off on it, Andrew is neutral but likes that Neil likes it and agrees even if it does nothing for him physically. Honestly, Neil having a sweat kink imo is pretty fitting lol. 

Try not to categorize the characters into “the bottom” and “the top”, or “the man” and “the woman”

This is something I see a lot and pay attention to how “the bottom” tends to adopt traits that are seen in straight porn that are over-exaggerated. I’m not saying it's inherently wrong to write someone as slim, but we know Neil isn't delicate, but I personally wouldn't categorize him as slim. He's a college-level athlete and is definitely muscular and defined, he has some bulk at least, he isn’t model lean for sure imo. You also often see PWP where the bottom makes a bunch of noise and the top makes none, or the top grunts and the bottom mewls, these are things I personally feel gives the bottom the role of a woman in porn. I don’t think Andreil have rough sex necessarily, but I do think when Neil does make noise, it would be because it was practically punched out of him by the feeling, and would sound more like a gasp than a kitten or whatever. There's nothing wrong with writing them both grunting, both of their voices being lower. Someone bottoming doesn’t suddenly magically not have secondary sex characteristics and stubble and body hair or a deep voice or however, they’re like everywhere else. 

When I read an over-emphasis on Neil’s slim waist and swaying hips and ass I’m like,,, okay someone please mention Andrew looking at Neil’s dick or bulge or shoulders. As an MLM, what do you find hot about men? I like stomachs and arms and shoulders, jawlines, collarbones, asses yes but like in a different way than how I like women’s asses (I’m bi lol) they are smaller and I like them muscled and squared almost. I look at veins on hands and noses and shoulders and backs, I look at a lot and I honestly don't have a type. But yeah so think about what you like, why you like it, what you might want. Or look at what others like, and why and how they want and like it.

what would Neil like, how would he feel about it? And Andrew. I kinda feel like Andrew is low-key masc 4 masc but that's just me lmaoo. Anyways, good luck writing.