#or they only think women who did stuff men were supposed to be the only ones to do

[magpie-trove]

the thing I don’t like about a lot of women’s history is. They seem to have forgotten the women.

[joyful-soul-collector]

I've seen a lot of people talking about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects women and how well it does that, so I wanna talk about how Barbie talks about how the patriarchy affects men and how well it does that. Because it does that really well tbh.

At the beginning of the movie, it's made very clear that the Kens are constantly competing with each other, and trying to prove their worth, their Ken-ness, to both the Barbies, and more importantly, to the other Kens. In fact, multiple times through the movie it's shown that Ken seems to find the opinions of other Kens as a motivator for him to do things. He tries to show off to Barbie only after he sees the other Kens saying hi to her. He only starts dancing with Barbie when he sees the other Kens dancing with her. He only goes with her to the Real World after another Ken accuses him of cowardice and he decides to prove him wrong. Barbie says "Ken's not cool!" and Ken responds "He is to me."

This shows so damn well what the patriarchy is like for men. Because for the Kens it's not necessarily about Barbie, it's about what other Kens think of you. Being a man you are constantly, incessantly trying so damn hard to prove to the other men around you that you are a man, the manliest man to ever man, the best Ken to ever Ken. Literally doing backflips trying to prove yourself. And this is before patriarchy is even officially introduced to the story, there's no undertone of power yet, this is just what it's like to be a man around other men. It's toxic masculinity.

And when the patriarchy is introduced, that's increased tenfold. At first it looks like they've banded together to take power, but really they're still competing with each other, they're just doing it differently. Rather than competing to see who can get Barbie to fall in love with them, they're competing to see who can be the manliest, have the manliest stuff, wear the manliest clothes, have the manliest house and decorations.

And then they literally go to war. War is considered one of the few places where it's socially accepted for men to be more emotional, form deep and personal bonds with other men, and that's exactly what happens in the movie. They go to war, and there's an entire song where they bond and learn not to fight with each other anymore.

And that I think is the message from the Kens. For men, the way the patriarchy affects them is it forces constant competition and animosity, even around people that are supposed to be your friends. It makes it impossible to express your feelings unless they're with a romantic partner, and all of this turns you into a pent up ball of emotions with nowhere to go.

Which means that the message is: In order to fix the way the patriarchy oppresses men, men need to learn how to form close bonds with people, especially other men. Because like Barbie said to Ken, he needs to discover who he is without her. Men have learned to lean on women as a crutch, using them to figure out how to Be A Person and express emotions in a healthy way, but this can very quickly turn into a woman feeling like she needs too be his mother and teach him how to do these things. And Ken was 100% doing this, or at least he was trying to throughout the movie. Ken was so desperate for Barbie to be in love with him, not necessarily because he loved her, but because he needed a person he could just exist as himself around. Because he couldn't do that with the other Kens, the only person he could be himself around was Barbie.

And what's so great about the end of the movie is that the Kens did eventually figure out how to form close bonds with each other! They went to war, argued and fought, but by the end of the song they were holding hands, kissing each other on the cheek, telling each other they were enough. Even when Ken is up in the dreamhouse, crying and saying that he looks stupid, all the other Kens start shouting back up to him, saying that he looks cool. And Ken responds by giving one of his new friends his coat, which was clearly very important to him.

What the Kens did, that's what men in the real world need to do. They need to form close bonds with other men and stop competing with each other. Hopefully not by going to war the way the Kens did, Barbie isn't a blueprint for solving the patriarchy lol.

I'd be happy to do it through a song though.

[katsukikitten]

Men suck! So why not drain their bank accounts for wasting your time?! It would be foolish not to. Even more foolish to push the buttons of a very powerful man in the underground world of Tokyo.

But hey wait! He messaged you first! He wanted you to be his sugar baby so badly it makes him look stupid!

Although Bakugou Katsuki is anything but stupid.

It was supposed to be an easy mark. He followed all of the rules of the unspoken game between sugar baby and sugar daddy. He reached out to you first. He set the time and place for the first date and he asked about your pricing.

To which you told him was a steep two thousand consultation.

Immediately there was a notification with your fee plus a little extra for the expedited meeting in your bank account before he messaged you again.

Wear somethin nice.

His profile was vague as most marks were. Choosing to keep their identity a secret, embarrassed to have to buy a woman's time with their endless cash flow for one reason or another.

Some because of their looks, some their abhorrent attitude, some because they were too busy drowning in their work and some because they just couldn't be bothered for much of anything real only to fall in love after the third date thinking they could buy your heart like they did everything else.

Because at the end of the day all of these marks had something in common. Something to exploit.

They were all terribly lonely.

And despite how forward this mark is, like others have been before him, he was no exception to this rule.

You roll your eyes as you doll up for tonight's meeting. You always wore something nice and appropriate for the setting yet undeniably sexy. Something that made every eye rove over you with the heated gaze of envy. Something that made you everything those men wanted you to be.

A trophy, a status symbol, a yes I'm fucking that.

Scrolling his profile or lack thereof, a little bit more in an attempt to be his perfect baby girl. Knowing that to have a good long lasting con to afford you the luxuries you sat in now, you had to shed your true skin and stuff yourself into something two sizes too small.

Because all men expected that of all women. Of anything of their desire. One must cut away the truest, deepest parts of themselves in order to hold a man's attention span for longer than five minutes. The second you start to look anything relatively human and anything more than a walking sex kitten or cock sleeve is the second they lose interest.

A man often times doesn't want to actually fill the loneliness, not with anything long term, they just want to relieve the ache in their cock.

At least that's all you've ever known and so who was anyone to judge you to exploit them how they exploited others.

Smiling at your reflection as you apply dark eyeliner to your lid, dragging it across your lash line as you go for a more noire mysterious look since you cannot find out much about your potential benefactor. Not that that worried you, you'd worn many skins before.

A recently divorcee, a 'single mom', but most benefactors liked a heavy power imbalance. They lived for the broke college girl act. Showing up in threadbare dresses that were still cute in an old shit box car you'd borrow from a friend and some classical piece of literature those fucks could recognize but knew they'd never read.

Mostly you figured they enjoyed that broke college girl act because they felt they were "helping you build a solid future" all while neglecting their own real daughters at home that they constantly compared you to. Showed you pictures of, similar in age to you and you'd have to stamp down the disgust at these men who probably didn't even know their real baby girl's favorite color.

Absolving themselves of guilt you supposed.

However this new benefactor was something to be excited about, mostly because of the unknown that he seemed to shroud himself in. No interests filled in, no movies or hobbies or songs that he likes.

Not even a profile picture or his name. Just GZ for now and when you checked the banking information on your wire in, it didn't give you any real leads. Received from a business or estate account that google results had no address or number for.

Only his age, 32. Three years your senior.

Which wasn't too bad of a gap well to you anyway, he saw your age as 25 because anything older than that, even one fucking year, men's interest dropped by sixty percent.

Another message comes through the little app.

GZ: Give me your number.

Aggressively forward as you giggle to yourself reading the message, let the read receipts show your interest when you lock your phone and don't reply. Taking the time to apply a nice dark shade of lipstick that made your mouth absolutely sinful as you wore a skin much too close to the real you. Going to your closet for your dress, knowing he was taking you to a very expensive, very highly rated restaurant, most likely to both flaunt and prove he has money.

Zipping up the velvet body con dress with a halter top, the hem stopped just above the knee and you knew it would ride up when you sat down or walked in your black heels with the pearl strap. Pulling on bicep length lace gloves and putting on an onyx ring on your middle finger before adding your pearl necklace to make a suggestion of what he could do to you at the very steep price of seven thousand dollars.

Some men even paid it and even asked to do it in the parking causing them to pay an expedited fee of four thousand. It meant nothing to you and every bit of power they thought they held over you to them.

Opening a drawer to your vanity all with unused pairs of underwear. Choosing a black lacey pair where the ass would be half exposed by lace and strings digging around for the to go tide pen so you could lightly bleach the crotch to make it seem as if they'd been worn all damn day "just for him"

Fuckin gag me.

Your phone pings again, another notification from the SDSB app.

GZ: I don't like waiting, Sweetheart, give me your number.

This time you reply but only after looking over your outfit in the mirror, debating if he'd be into stockings and ripping them before you realize it might make you look a little too conservative for his tastes.

Bbgrl: tell me what GZ stands for and I'll give you those special digits

GZ: I don't barter

Bbgrl: Everything comes at a cost. You know this otherwise you wouldn't be messaging me.

You watch the bouncing bubbles pop up before his quick reply.

GZ: Ground Zero

GZ: Now give me your fuckin number Princess.

Bbgrl: maybe in person, Mr Zero.

Not giving away your actual number was your number one rule and because the last sugar daddy you cut off went full tilt you had to disconnect your other phone and just hadn't had a chance to get a burner yet.

Picking up a small clutch purse you shove inside your lipstick for the night, your phone, the doctored pair of underwear and you don't even bother to bring any sort of wallet.

Walking to a public place a block or so from your luxury condo before you flag down a cab giving them the address as the man smiles down at your cleavage. Enjoying the view in the rearview and it's a wonder he doesn't crash and kill you both. Leaning down to meet his gaze with a disarming smile, wearing a skin to protect both you and him from harm as you force a giggle.

"Eyes on the road silly." When really you wanted to take the knife strapped to your ribs and slit his throat for thinking he even deserved to stare at you like that.

You wore this dress for attention yes but there is a fine line between appreciation of a body and straight up eye fucking you.

And just because you wore this dress didn't give him the right to stare. Counting down from ten as you have pretty visions of gouging his eyes out only for him to pull up right to the restaurant, acting as if he was going to get out and help you.

"No need." You smile politely, "And the fare?"

You look at the triple zeros and his eyes flash to it in embarrassment, so busy eating you alive with his eyes he forgot to start it.

"On the house for a pretty lady."

Forcing a smile as you give him a thanks, leaving the cab as quickly as you can before you walk inside, twenty minutes late for the date.

Tardiness was a big part of the game, whether it agitated them or made them anxious, it would certainly place a little more power on your initial interaction. Gaging their reaction to your power play always determines how you'll respond. Clueless, lost, down right stupid.

The hostess gives you a warm smile as she welcomes you into the restaurant asking of your party size. You're quick to tell her you're here for GZ.

"Or maybe under the name Ground Zero if the initials are too vague." You smile and watch the hostess blanche a moment before she fixes her face.

"Right this way." Expect she doesn't lead you all the way over there, stops just before the darker corner of the restaurant making a gesture with her hands and you chalk it up to nerves. That maybe he owned the whole fucking restaurant.

Watching his large palm swirl a bourbon straight, watch his other heavily ringed hand card through his ash blonde locks.

"Mr Zero?" You ask with a cat like smile, coming to stand beside the table. He glares up at you either oblivious or acting it as you wait for him to pull out your chair.

"Yer fuckin late Princess." He doesn't wait you out though can tell from a glance you'll stand there with your sexy ass heels rooted to the hardwoods of the restaurant before you'd ever sit down. He doesn't give in, this just happened to give him a chance to show his stature. He slams his drink down, clattering the water glasses and your wine glass filled with a pinkish color. Most likely something sweet. For a moment it makes you wonder if he read your profile considering most men didn't bother and showed it often on their first dates that they hadn't when they ordered you red wine. Which you had as your top dislike.

When he rises he's much much bigger than you. Tall enough you have to crane your head up to look at him, broad shoulders and now that he's fully facing you you can see his scarred face. A deep fissure of discolored skin from just over his eyebrow cutting through his eye flaring over his cheek before tapering off at his throat before it meets another deep scar that's hidden under his shirt.

He didn't even bother with a dress jacket, only a dress shirt, black, with the sleeves rolled up to his elbows exposing his tattoos and even more scars, his black vest if swirling velvet on the front only emphasizes his broad chest and tapered waist.

He stands there a moment watching you take him in and he cannot lie he is surprised. Most women cowarded at his size especially when they see his scar and his half clouded bromine eye but you just smile. Maybe even a bit of excitement flashed in your eyes but you stand unmoving still that fuckin cat smirk on your dark stained lips.

"My chair, Mr Zero." You remind him and he snarls, leaning in close to your face tipping your chin up to him. It's here you realize how large his hands are, especially when the other settles at your ribcage a moment. You just hope he doesn't feel the knife nestled there and take it as a threat to himself.

"I told you I didn't like waiting." He growls, "So what makes you think Imma continue this date?"

"You're still here aren't you? Besides," You half guide him by moving your face gently from his grip, stepping towards your chair and he follows, "You wouldn't want to cancel a date with such a pretty girl would you?"

"A pretty woman." He corrects with a growl, pulling back your chair and shoving it in roughly when you sit, leaning behind you to whisper in your diamond clad ear, "Yer no girl that's for sure."

As if to say a predator recognizes a predator but you feign ignorance.

"Year?" You ask, smelling your wine before taking a sip. It's fruity, peach you realize with hints of citrus and angel food cake.

"Didn't ask." He bites waiting for you to ask where the menus were, he makes eye contact with the waiter to signal to start their meals. Oblivious, you take another sip of this amazingly delicious wine.

"Bit of a dessert wine isn't it?" You comment, usually men would blunder by now realizing they aren't as prestigious or well versed as they pretended to be but this man proves to be different once again.

"Peach pairs well with spicy and smokey." Glaring right back at you before a mean smile curls his lips, "Unless ya lied twice on your profile."

You set the wine glass down thanking the waiter when they leave fresh bread. Zero is faster than you grabbing for the crusty pre dinner treat as he butters the rich white center before placing the slice on your plate before starting his own.

"Hmm, I haven't lied on my profile." You refuse to touch his offering for now.

"Sweetheart, you may look twenty five but I know that you're closer to thirty than what you want to admit." There's that cruel smile of his again.

"It's quite rude to make a woman seem older than what she is. Touchy subject ya know?" Going back to sipping your wine as you've decided you may need a buzz to endure this date, "Or maybe you don't have a lot of experience with women. Is that why I'm here?"

Smirking over the vein protruding from his throat but the satisfaction only lasts so long, thoughts rounding back to wondering how the fuck he knew your real age and so quickly.

Suddenly you feel his fingers wrapping around the back of you knee as he pulls you forward leaning over the table.

"Haaah? Ya think I don't have experience with women? Oh sweetheart I could have you begging to take my cock in this bathroom in under ten minutes. But I need you for somethin else." He lets his bruising grip go when he sees a flash of the real you, sees your pretty lip snarl in disgust before you fix your face so quickly it would have him wondering if he ever saw that snarl or not.

He thinks he likes this version more than what his right hand picked out from your profile.

Your profile was vague but your photo album was filled with a lot of photos that men could easily project on or imagine themselves with you. Looking demure, easy going, a submissive.

Really Bakugou can tell you're a fucking brat at best and far from demure.

"Is that true Mr Zero? Sex on the first date is quite expensive." You smile cutely, make it a giggle all while the steak knife whispers to you that it belonged shoved through his hand on the table.

"I bet it is sweetheart." He spits back.

"So…our contract?" You're ready to rush this along thinking that maybe this benefactor isn't going to work out and that you'll have to save your underwear for another time.

He leans back, finally looking a little more relaxed as you bring up business as if contracts and dealings were part of his expertise. Taking a sip of his bourbon as he looks you over in that fine velvet dress he imagines on the floor of his expensive bedroom.

"Dunno can ya behave long enough to talk about it?" Deadly smirk on his lips now, one that makes your stomach clench.

"I always behave, Mr. Zero." A purr, one that changes the tone of the entire dinner, at least for now.

A light scoff but he's smiling, genuinely and he looks so handsome like that. His eyes catch something you don't see before the waiter comes over with two starter salads.

You look down at the fresh bed of greens matching his and try not to grimace that he's most likely ordered dinner for you. Hating when benefactors took it upon themselves as they never paid enough attention to order even remotely right.

"Let's see how dinner goes first yea, princess? Gotta make sure I like it before I buy it." A clear taunt and stab at you to which you give a tight smile. Him placing himself above you but you were determined at the very least to secure the after dinner deposit fee from him that was clearly stated on your profile.

Any dinner lasting longer than two hours or is set after eight thirty pm is considered to be equal to two consultation fees.

He already violated the time since he messaged you at exactly six pm tonight and you were always sure to take your time getting ready.

But you had to finish the fucking date first.

"Okay." Agreeing without issue as you bite your tongue. Finishing your salad and your wine, asking him to order you another glass. Batting your eyelashes and for a second you see his face flash with something other than his gruff nature. Standing with the brief explanation of "freshening up."

Annoyed as you enter the ladies room, looking at your reflection as if to share a what the fuck glance with a friend before rooting around in your bag. Touching up your lipstick, spraying yourself with a bit of your perfume that made all the men insane for you before turning your attention to your hair.

Making sure it was still in perfect placement as you angle your pretty face this way and that. Clutch open on the vanity, the dummy pair of underwear threatening to fall out. Checking your account to see if the rest of this date was worth it when you see your stipulation fee is sitting in your account despite the date only being an hour long thus far.

Figuring you'll make this date worth it now, mostly curiosity getting the best of you over what is going to make this contact so fucking special he's more than willing to pay everything upfront.

To deal with your more cheeky side you used to scare off weaker men.

Clawed fingers curling around the soft pair of underwear, rubbing them between your hands vigorously to make them warm to the touch. To have him thinking that this sexy lingerie style underwear was nestled right to your cunt.

Balling them up as you make your way out of the bathroom while the waitresses gossip over the fact that some violent ringleader was dining there tonight and that he was "dangerously hot." Hushing when they see you pass the refreshment nook before you make your way back to the table.

Thankfully his left hand with all his rings is resting on its side on the table giving you more than enough space to press the warm fabric into his palm and curling his fist around it before sitting back across from him. Giving a flirtatious smile to the large blonde who turns his hand to see what you placed into his palm. Smirking and shaking his head as he looks down at the fabric.

Unfurling it with his large hand and seeing the pair of underwear with a little spot on the crotch that makes him chuckle.

You look over your meal that's been set out, can tell he was polite enough to wait for you as the aroma of spicy smoked meat sits before you. Breathing deeply and hating to admit that you'd actually like this dish. Picking up your fork as you let him become dumbfounded over the thought that you were bare under your dress when that was far from the truth.

Bakugou leans over the very expensive meal on the small table. Grabbing at your jaw a bit tightly so he can turn your face to husk in your ear.

"Now gimme the ones you're actually wearing, Princess." He growls, pulling back to hold out his hand expectantly.

Feigning innocence you look up at him and bat your eyelashes since that worked earlier, even letting your eyes get a little glassy.

"Wh-what are you talking about Mr. Zero?" Voice soft and going softer still when you add, "Those are my underwear. I wore them just for you."

He laughs loudly in your face and his grip tightens, mouth back at your ear with a deadly tone. A mix of playful flirtation and restrained anger.

"Now Princess, 'fore I get mad."

It sends a chill down your spine and a jolt to your cunt. Breaking your facade entirely when you let sharp nails bite into his thick wrist as you yank away your face. Looking around trying to come up with an excuse that this was too much of a public place before he adds.

"We're secluded enough." Letting his fingers wave impatiently with his palm up. Your eyes widen as you see how serious he is. Unable to hide the snarl on your lips or the flash of deep seeded anger in your eyes as you obey a benefactor's command instead of tricking them into thinking they had control.

Shimmying up your little bodycon dress, hooking sharp clawed thumbs into the band of the underwear to bring it down past your thick thighs that part for just a moment exposing your pretty mound to Bakugou by accident. It makes saliva coat his tongue and his cock twitch in his expensive pants.

Quickly fixing the hem of your dress that still tries to ride up thanks to your hips and thighs, balling up the black underwear and slapping it into Bakugou's waiting palm harshly. The corner of his lip curls up as he realizes it's a thong, much better than the dummy pair you gave him moments ago.

"You're such a fuckin pervert." You cross your arms over your chest, pushing up your tits giving the ash blonde a snarling pout. Wholly forgetting about your dinner now as you look away from him, can't believe he's won this round.

"Yea? Who's fault is that? Yer the one who gave me a clean pair of underwear to make me love sick for ya so I'd cough up all my cash." He makes no move to pocket the thin pair of underwear you've just given him, making your eyes dart to look for the approaching waiter, "This work on most men Sweetheart?"

"Tsk, yes." You scoff, "Then they send me whatever I fuckin want."

Pushing away a bit, thinking of leaving from how condescending his tone is. Inspecting the first pair you've given him now that he has the actual pair you'd been wearing, looking closely at the crotch.

"Did ya use a bleach pen on these 'fore ya came in?" He laughs when he watches your face blanch, most men couldn't tell. Just thought it was real and went with it, asked for more.

The waiter starts to come back to the table with another glass of Bakugou's bourbon and your wine, trying not to crack. Shoving down the panic and letting your nails bite into your palm letting crescent moons form in your soft skin. To try not to shove his hands into his lap to save you the embarrassment because the last thing you want him to know is that he's actually getting under your skin. He looks over his shoulder to follow your gaze, feral smile on his mouth.

"Besides, who's the real pervert here, Me for enjoying a pretty woman's time," He rolls the dark fabric around in his hand, still warm from your cunt and when he gets to the crotch it's damp, sticky, "Or you, for getting off to playing some dumb ass men outta thousands."

"I'm not-"

"Not what? Wet?" He laughs, letting his thumb slide through the slick of your underwear, uncaring that the waiter is here now. Setting down the drinks and forgoing asking how the meal was quickly slipping away in hopes of not bothering Ground Zero.

"Sweetheart I bet I could run my fingers through that sticky cunt and everyone in this restaurant would hear it." Bringing his thumb up to his mouth licking at it as one would to get sauce off their fingers, his eyes flutter and suddenly your cheeks burn.

"You're insufferable." You hiss, crossing your legs now, still unable to look at him.

"Ya know, I hate liars." He tosses your fake pair of underwear, pocketing the thong you wore with one hand while the other swirls his drink, "Ya've lied three times now."

"I have not."

"Ya have. Yer age, yer whole personality, yer underwear." He lists them on his fingers and funny enough you chose to die on only one of those hills.

"I am twenty five." You hiss, grabbing at your wine and downing it in three swallows.

"But yer not." He chuckles, eyes flicker to your face, you don't have foundation on, going for a mostly natural look, and Bakugou has good eyes where most men didn't, "Ya've got crows feet sweetheart. Seems like ya've smiled a lot in your life."

Reflexivity you go to hide the corner of your eyes, they crease heavily when you really smile. Everyone who knew you, actually knew you, always made the comment of "you smile with your eyes."

"Ah come on they're barely noticeable and nothin to be ashamed about." He chuckles, pulling at your wrists so he could see your face again, "Gimme a smile."

"Fuck off." You hiss waving him away dismissively trying to regain control, "The contract Mr Zero."

He sighs, annoyed as he leans back, "We haven't finished dinner."

"I'd like to skip to dessert." A snarling hiss as you push away what was probably the best meal you could've ever had.

"Oh would you?" Deadly smirk, "I could skip to dessert iffin ya want. In my car or the bathroom, your pick Princess."

"Again you're fucking insufferable." You make motion to stand, to leave, only for his strong hand to catch your wrist and pull you into his lap making this somehow worse.

"What's wrong? Embarrassed now?" He tilts your chin to him and you squeeze your eyes shut in defiance he chuckles lowly, "Tell me yer real age and I'll stop teasing, for now."

You open your eyes to glare at him for a long, long time. No judgment in those bromine eyes as he patiently waits for your answer. You sigh, scratching roughly at his undercut with your long nails whether it was a strategic move or your fingers having a mind of their own, you weren't sure. The only thing you were sure of was that this man was trouble.

Big trouble.

Yet you answer honestly anyway.

"Twenty nine." It's soft, genuinely this time as if you might be a little embarrassed about it when you know you shouldn't. He smiles up at you, letting his thumb linger at one of the corners of your eyes before he lets his fingers trace your face down to your jaw.

"See, won't so bad to admit it was it?" Genuine gentle tone, his hand on your hip squeezing at the fat there.

Your heart races and that foreboding feeling creeps up your throat as you're slowly realizing that you are no longer the one who was hunting.

No, no, now you were being hunted.

Nails bite harshly into his nape as you stand, snarl to your lips and all he can do is chuckle at your flippant attitude.

"M leaving." Holding out your manicured hand, "Give me my underwear back."

"No, I paid for it." He growls really spurring on your temper now.

"All you men are the same. Pigs who want to keep their dicks wet." A scoff as you snarl your pretty lips.

"And I can say all women are the same. Bitches who want to keep their pockets full." He retorts forcing your sharp claws to grab onto the cheeks of what you don't realize is the most powerful man in the entire country.

Even making sure your nails bite into the skin of his cheeks, "I don't need your fucking money."

"Then why're ya here sweetheart?" He smirks up at you, grabbing onto your wrist tightly.

"Fuck you. You don't know me." Shoving his face and escaping his tight grip before you begin to stomp from the restaurant with your head held high.

"You'll be crawling back to me, princess." He calls out with a chuckle.

"I won't!" You send a snarling growl back, unable to get through the too quiet dining room to the exit of the five star place.

Hissing through your teeth with an echoing groan as the night air hits you doing little to cool your temper while you hail a cab.

Pulling up the sugar baby app on your phone going to his profile to block him but before you can a message pops up.

GZ: See ya in two months sweetheart.

You'd never blocked a mark faster in your entire life.

But the thing you don't know about him yet is that Bakugou Katsuki always kept his promises.

A/N: yay! You've gotten to the end! Thank you so much for reading! Now I have plans to make this a series however I'm not very good at long term things if I'm being honest. Lmfao but please! If you liked or loved this reblog it! I'd love to hear in my inbox or in the body of the reblog or even in your tags of your reblog what you thought of this!

[fic-dumpster]

Deer in headlights | Short stories: Public disturbance

1k+ words || Bonten x Reader

fluff mostly, typical shenanigans, no beta and not edited, commas placed everywhere, tried to write it as gender-neutral as possible, let me know if I missed anything.

The thing about going shopping with Bonten is not the unnecessary stuff they buy nor the amount of attention they get; it's the bathroom. Every time you have to go to a public place, they don't let you go alone.

How many times have you heard women shriek in terror because you didn't notice Sanzu or Rindou following you inside the ladies’ washroom? The worst part was that they were surprised and asked what was wrong like it was the most normal thing to do, and they weren’t doing something inappropriate.

That's why you’re pulling Kokonoi with you. He's not going to intimidate the women occupying the bathroom, at least not like the other four waiting at the nearest bench. Takeomi, Sanzu, Kakucho, and Rindou remained with all the shopping bags there. Kokonoi could pass unnoticeable.

After buying some things and drinking three iced teas, of course, your bladder would be full, and you’ll have no other choice but to go with someone. Mikey and his orders about your safety. It’s not like the rest didn't agree with him.

Two doors and a lock later, you are in a stall with Kokonoi. The latter refused to turn around.

“Koko, just turn; I can't pee like this,” you grumbled.

“No, It’s weird to stare at the door,” Kokonoi replied.

“Then close your eyes!” But you didn't mean it like that because he did close his eyes, but the idiot didn't turn around.

You peed, staring at Kokonoi, who was trying to hold back his smile.

“See, it wasn't that bad,” Kokonoi said as he dried your hands together with his under one of those automatic air dryers, “you always make such a fuss.”

“Why do I feel you enjoy this,” you murmured, ignoring the previous statement.

And you were right. A wicked side smile adorned his face. Kokonoi basked in the privilege of being able to be alone with you, handpicked by you, only you, while the rest drowned in jealousy. Except for Sanzu. He was drowning in a strawberry and banana frappe, angrily slurping the chunks of frozen fruit that weren't properly triturated.

“Where are they? Kokonoi is taking too long with Y/N,” spat the Sanzu, suspecting the worst, “I bet my left sack that he’s having se-”

“A line in the bathroom? That happens often,” intruded Takeomi as he remembers a time when he had to take Senju to the bathroom. Why do women take so long? Internally wondered the scarred man.

Rindou and Kakucho groaned from carrying the most bags out of them and they also followed Sanzu’s line of thoughts. Three out of four men sighed in unison.

All laments were put to a halt by Takeomi’s phone ring. The screen showed Kokonoi’s name, and an unpleasant feeling stuck in the older man’s gut. It only worsened as soon as he picked up and heard your screams of desperation.

“Help!!! Takeomi!!!!!! I need your help!! It’s an emergency!!” you didn't give Takeomi time to ask any questions. You blurted out your location and ended the call after screaming for him to hurry.

Takeomi didn't notice the other three men present had leaned over to hear the conversation, and not a second later, Sanzu, Rindou, and Kakucho dashed towards the place you mentioned over the phone, leaving Takeomi with all the shopping bags, alone.

“Hurry up, Y/N needs-” Turning around, Takeomi realized he was talking to none but shopping bags. “Bastards.”

“I can't believe you snatched my phone for that,” Kokonoi massaged his temples, already expecting the dumbasses to show up guns blazing in the middle of a shopping mall after your call for help.

“But I am out of battery, and it's an emergency!!” you said.

“I don't think this qualifies as an emergency,” sighed Kokonoi as he eyed the crowd around him and the stage with colorful lights. “Besides, how are the rest supposed to find us?”

On cue, Sanzu’s obviously loud call of your name could be heard above the tumult of people. Kokonoi had to give them credit; that was pretty fast. He could recognize the pink mane not too far from where he stood and Rindou’s purple head too.

“Koko, do you see them?!” you grabbed his sleeves with urgency. “I can’t see! Let me—” You used him as a ladder, climbing until your eyes could see above the crowd.

Rolling his eyes, Kokonoi let you do as you pleased. What else was he supposed to do? Once your head popped up from above the crowd, you enthusiastically waved at the trio, beckoning them over. As soon as they were close enough to touch you, Sanzu, Rindou, and Kakucho surrounded Kokonoi, who was attempting to hold you in his arms, and began inspecting every inch of skin they could reach.

“You seem fine,” said Sanzu, holding your face in between his palms, pressing your cheeks until your lips puckered like a fish.

“Becaushh I am,” you mumbled with your fish lips, “pleash let my cheekshh go.”

Sanzu couldn't help but coo at you, and without any warnings, he planted little pecks on your lips, making Kokonoi frown, he sat first row for the PDA show.

“Enough! That's enough!” Shouted Rindou, prying Sanzu’s hands away from your face as Kokonoi moved with you still in his arms, separating you both. Kakucho stood there, watching Sanzu and Rindou fight while Kokonoi scolded Sanzu from afar.

“Have you no self-control?!” screamed Kokonoi.

“Like any of you have any when it comes to Y/N!” Sanzu defended himself.

“That’s true,” acknowledged Kakucho.

Everyone talking loudly on top of each other.

As the scene transpired, none noticed the circle of people who observed the whole thing. Some murmured about a lovers’ quarrel, while others about a kidnapping, and debated whether they should call security.

You, on the other hand, remembered why you called them in the first place.

Ah, right. You needed a charger. But none was paying attention to you, hanging like a chihuahua in Koko’s arms.

Not a minute later, security appeared and escorted everyone out for causing a public disturbance.

Takeomi watched the minutes pass by on a TV screen near the bench you all left him. With all the bags and now his own phone without battery, He wondered when would you all come back to pick up all the shopping bags.

[unconventional-lawnchair]

Hey! I wanted to see if you'd want to do a band!au with marauders . I was watching the kool kids maneskin, Tokyo concert, I couldn't help but think how problematic it actually could be. Something happens maybe someone makes the fem!reader uncomfortable and stuff goes down, everybody's like she's too arrogant and disrespectful and so on. How the marauders defend and comfort her etc with some fluff. Thanks!

You're Strong

Platonic!Marauders x Reader (Minus Peter)

AN: I love this request sm

Cw: 3704

CW: use of {Y/N}, Sexual Harassment, Victim blaming, sexual innuendos, a lot of cussing and shouting

Latex and a shitty cologne seemed to cling to your nose like a taunt, even in the supposed safety of your dressing room. You clung to the small vanity top, trying to rid your nostrils of the foul odor that seemed to cling to you like an unwanted memory.

This wasn’t your first time experiencing something like this, but it was the first since you joined the band.

Back in college, James had gotten on his hands and knees, begging you to fill in for Peter on guitar after their falling out. At the time, you and the boys ran in the same friend group but never really collided- except for Remus, who would write his songs with you.

James didn’t have a clue who you were until Sirius told him you were the one who taught Marlene how to strum. It took some convincing, but after some gentle prodding from Remus and downright devious tactics from Sirius, you finally caved. One song. One gig.

You should have known that wouldn’t have been the case. The moment your first performance was a hit, they practically hounded you around the clock to join them for more. Eventually, after a few failed guitarists, you agreed to go on tour with them.

Never once in the six weeks you had been on the road did you feel unsafe. It was your main concern. You weren’t scared of the boys, but traveling to a new city every night as a girl was a nightmare. You voiced your concerns to them, and they swore they wouldn’t force you into something dangerous. They were always with you at every point- one of them tied to your hip from the moment you exited your hotel room to the second you entered it.

But tonight was different. The moment you stepped on stage, you could tell it wasn’t like your normal performances. The producers had sprung something on James last minute, and you could hear him arguing from behind the curtain while you and Sirius exchanged worried glances.

When James came back, he was red in the face but greeted the crowd with his bright smile. You relaxed slightly, falling into the rhythm of the performance. Then, James introduced two more bands to the stage local to the area. Not just their instruments, but their bloody groupies as well.

The stage was suddenly flooded with people. Men and women danced, far too close. You looked to Remus in a panic, trying to keep your strumming even on your cues. Sirius seemed shocked but into the act, and James continued singing as if nothing was wrong. But for you, the stage had become a personal hell. The noise was deafening, and the people were too close- men grinding on you, women making crude remarks that only worsened your anxiety. It wasn't something you hadn't experienced before. But your boys were there. And they were doing nothing. Sweat and cheap plastic glitter assaulted your senses, making it hard to breathe.

The mix of sounds and overwhelming amount of strangers in your safe space made the stage feel like a claustrophobic nightmare. You tried to focus, to keep playing, but each note felt like a struggle. The safety you had once felt with the band was slipping away, replaced by a rising tide of panic.

Then, a husky smell hit your nose. This cologne you couldn't place, and the smell of burnt latex, as a man walked behind you and grinded on you. But he didn't pass by after, no, he stayed and pressed his entire waist against your back. You felt like you could heave, but instead of sobbing like you wanted to, you lashed out in anger.

You turned and practically snarled at him, your shouts barely audible over the music. “Piss off!”

“Woah, woah woah, no need to be so feisty.” He chuckled as he passed, muttering a simple, “Fucking prude.” as he went.

Your heart pounded in your chest, the adrenaline surging through your veins like wildfire. The blaring attack of music, shouting, and laughter melded into a disorienting blur. Your vision tunneled, and it felt like the walls were closing in. You tried to focus on your guitar, to find some semblance of normalcy, but your fingers were trembling too much to play properly.

James, always the charismatic frontman, seemed to notice your distress. He made his way over to you, still singing, his eyes filled with concern. He offered you sympathetic eyes, but even then, in his understanding you were even more upset. How dare he not warn you?

James’s presence, usually so comforting, felt like a betrayal tonight. You wanted to scream at him, to demand why he hadn’t given you a heads up about the chaos that would unfold on stage. But you knew this wasn’t the time or place. Truly, you didn't know if he knew either.

Your breaths became shallow and rapid, your chest tightening with each passing second. The stage lights felt unbearably hot, and the noise seemed to amplify, each beat of the drums pounding in your skull. You almost snapped at Sirius, as he slammed the instrument worked in tandem with your throbbing head. The people on stage began to mutter and laugh, you didn't need to hear what they were saying to know it was directed at you.

With a deep breath, you forced yourself to keep playing, though your notes were shaky and uneven. You could see Remus and Sirius exchanging worried glances, sensing the shift in your usually electric energy. James, ever the performer, managed to keep the crowd entertained, though his focus never strayed far from you.

But it was too much. The world around you felt like it was spinning out of control, your vision blurring with unshed tears. Your hands felt clammy, your grip on the guitar slipping. The overwhelming sense of panic clawed at your throat, making it hard to breathe.

The second the fifth song ended, you shoved your strings at one of the other band members before walking off stage. You couldn't do it. You couldn't even think clearly on that damn stage, let alone play. The need to escape, to find a quiet space where you could breathe, was overpowering.

You made your way backstage, your breaths coming in short, desperate gasps. The noise of the crowd and the band faded into the background as you found a secluded corner, sinking to the floor. You hugged your knees to your chest, trying to ground yourself, feeling the cold, hard floor beneath you.

As you sat there, the adrenaline began to dissipate, leaving you feeling drained and exhausted. The panic attack had taken its toll, but in the quiet of the backstage, you could finally start to piece yourself back together.

You stormed off to your dressing room where you were now, finally allowing yourself to break down.

You had never had a panic attack so publicly before. Replaying the memory only made it worse, as embarrassment took over the panic remembering how harshly you reacted. But why did you feel guilty?

Suddenly there was a firm knock on the door. You looked at the clock and winced. Did they stop the show early? Fuck.. your poor fans.

You didn't answer, you never did. Walking over to the bathroom to splash water on your face as you heard the door open.

“The hell were you thinking, James!?” Sirius’s shouts filled the room and you shook your head, cleaning off the makeup you now made a mess of.

“I didn't know it was going to happen! They sprung it on me too, Pads!” James shouted and Remus huffed.

“You should of said no, James.” Remus scolded and James waved his hand dismissively.

He walked up to your bathroom door and knocked, leaning his ear against it. “Hey, you good in there, {Y/N}?” He asked cautiously.

You schooled your expression once more before you swung the door open. Looking at the boy in front of you, his sweaty body covered in glitter and giving you a startled look. “Since when did the stage becomes a fucking rave!?” Your voice was loud and you tried to sound angry, but you were on the verge of tears again. Clueless as to why this seemed to affect you so much.

James's eyes widened as he saw the raw emotion in your face. He took a step back, his hands raised in a placating gesture. "I know, I know. It was a mess. I'm sorry, {Y/N}. If I had known, I would have stopped it before it started. Just- they were already in the back when Gideon told us, said it was a deal the producers made to get this place more attention, ya know?”

“Oh sob off with that crap! She's fucking scared, man!” Sirius snapped behind James and Remus scoffed.

“And you're not making it much better, Sirius.” Remus huffed before turning to you with gentle eyes. Ones you were used to, ones that always meant safety. You walked over and sniffed a bit, coming undone easily. Especially when he pulled you into a hug.

Remus rubbed your back and let you ruin his new shredded shirt. His bandaid covered hand slipping behind her head to let you muffle your sobs into his chest.

Eventually, your sobbing stopped, and Remus found himself inspecting you. “Hey..” He whispered after a moment of exchanging looks with the boys. “You're alright, pretty girl.” He cooed and you slowly smiled.

He took the chance to take a peek at you, only to see you smiling brighter at his glance. They had a way of soothing your more erratic emotions, so easily.

“Is she smiling?” James called out in a teasing tone. You rolled your eyes and pulled away from Remus with a sniffle.

“You guys always call me that.” You huffed and Remus laughed. “What? Pretty girl?”

You nodded, a small smile tugging at the corners of your lips despite the lingering tension. "Yeah, 'pretty girl.' It's like you think I'm some delicate flower, I'm a big girl.”

Sirius grinned, his usual mischievous spark returning. "Well, you are pretty, and you are our girl. Even if sometimes you're abusive." He cheeked and you shot him a glare.

“See? My groupies would have lost their shit at that line. I just get death glares.” Sirius dramaticized as he looked at James who snickered.

James gave a fond sigh, shaking his head. "Well, to be fair, Pads, it just shows {Y/N} has standards."

At that, you laugh and Remus smiled at you. “There she is.”

“Oh stop that.” You gave a small nervous smile and pushed his face to look away. He laughed before he kissed your calloused palm, turning to face you. He gave you one last comforting squeeze before letting go, his eyes still filled with love and gentle concern. "Seriously though, {Y/N}, we never want you to feel like that again. We need to make sure our performances are safe for everyone, especially you. Trust me, we were shit without a guitar.”

You rolled your eyes fondly but let his words seep in. Knowing he truly meant them.

You took a deep breath, feeling a bit more grounded with the boys around you. "I appreciate it, really. Just... next time, let's make sure there are no surprises, okay?"

James nodded earnestly. "Absolutely. No more surprises. We'll make sure everything is run by you first. You're part of this band, and you deserve to feel safe and respected."

Sirius threw an arm around your shoulder and gave you a squeeze. “Yeah, I mean, if you weren't here we'd just be a bunch of dudes jerkin it.”

You gave him a slack jaw at his crude remark, before Remus rolled his eyes.

“Something tells me you wouldn't mind that, Sirius.” James laughed and you quickly shooed Sirius’s arm off of you.

“You two talk like virgins and it's starting to become sad.” You huffed. “But I'm ready to go back on stage. It's been a hot minute now.”

James barked a laugh and you looked at him surprised. You hit his chest and he held your hand with a playful wince. “Sorry, sorry, just trying to imagine going back on stage after Sirius busted that bastard’s lip. I don't think the show is still on.”

“You did what!?” You exclaimed in shock, turning to Sirius. He didn't look even the least bit guilty, just grinning ear to ear like some damned cat. He shrugged nonchalantly. "What can I say? No one messes with our girl and gets away with it."

You shook your head, a mix of disbelief and amusement. Not to mention the endless about of affection and safety you felt. "Sirius, you can't just go around punching people."

"Well, I can and I did," he replied with a wink. "He deserved it. Dudes still lucky he has a heart beat."

Remus sighed, though a small smile played on his lips. "Let's just make sure we handle things a bit more diplomatically next time, yeah?"

James chuckled, squeezing your hand reassuringly. “I'm sure {Y/N} has no problems with it-”

Before the quips could continue, suddenly, there was a knock on the door. Sirius huffed and turned to slam it open. “What?!” He boomed and came face to face with a very angry producer.

“The hell are you all doing in here mingling? You have a crowd out there waiting to watch you play!” He boomed. Despite yourself, you suddenly clamed up. Oddly, you were unable to speak. Even as you tried to force yourself, the words felt like they were trapped in your chest. Your breathing increasing.

“We had an issue with a guy on stage-” Remus started and the producer scoffed. “Yeah, we all saw it! That's no excuse! These people paid good money-”

“I-I'm not going back out there.” You finally stammered out. He scoffed at you and Sirius tightened his jaw.

“I'm sorry, princess, please continue to believe the world revolves around you. But do that on the stage?” He pushed and you choked out a scoff.

“He-”

“Isn't that what you kids do? You party hard you have fun, can't blend those two together?”

The producer’s words cut through the air like a knife, leaving you feeling exposed and vulnerable. Your hands trembled as you tried to pull yourself together, but the panic was threatening to overwhelm you again.

Sirius, however, was having none of it. He stepped forward, his eyes blazing with anger. "Listen here, you pompous ass. She was sexually harassed on stage, and you think she should just suck it up and keep playing? How about you show a bit of human decency?"

The producer sneered, clearly unimpressed. "This is a business, Black. If she can't handle the heat, maybe she shouldn't be on stage."

Remus stepped in, his calm demeanor a stark contrast to Sirius’s fury. “Sir, I think that a discussion needs to be had about our safety on stage before any of us return to it.”

“I refuse to work like this.” You challenged again and the Producer scoffed.

“Listen, kid, everyone deals with stuff like this in show biz. Don’t be arrogant.”

You took a shaky breath and tried to still the next shiver that rocked through you. Again, your words were gathering in your throat like film. “No-”

“Kid.” The producer spoke more sternly this time.

James had been standing quietly, his fists clenched at his sides as he listened to the exchange. But the producer's dismissive attitude was the final straw. He stepped forward, his usually bright and cheerful eyes now dark with anger.

"That's enough!" James's voice rang out, startling everyone in the room. He pointed a finger at the producer, his hand shaking with barely contained fury. "How dare you speak to her like that! She's not just some performer you can push around. She's our friend, our bandmate, and she deserves respect! If you want this fucking band to work how about you worry about that freak in the back with the bloodied nose? Get him the fuck outta here!”

The producer opened his mouth to retort, but James cut him off, his voice growing louder. "You think this is just showbiz? You think it's okay for someone to be harassed and then forced to keep performing? What kind of person are you? I promise you, if she wasn't overwhelmed enough as it is-”

"James-" The producer began, but James wasn't done.

"No. You don't wanna listen to her, you're gonna listen to me. We've put up with a lot of shit from you. But she is where I draw the line. Is that understood?”

James's outburst left the room in stunned silence. The intensity of his words hung heavy in the air, and even the producer seemed momentarily taken aback. But the anger in James's eyes was unyielding with that fire and familiar protectiveness he held for everyone, but it seemed to be focused purely on you.

The producer, clearly flustered, tried to regain his composure. "Look, James, I understand you're upset, but-"

"No, you don't understand." James interrupted, his voice steady but seething with controlled rage. "This isn't just about being upset. This is about basic human decency. You don't get to treat her like that. Any of us! If you can't guarantee our safety and respect, then we're done here."

Sirius had a moment where he stared awestruck at James. Clearly proud. “What the big guy said.”

Remus nodded in agreement, his eyes never leaving the producer's. "James is right. This isn't negotiable. If you can't ensure our safety and treat us with respect, we're not stepping back on that stage."

The producer, now visibly shaken, tried to salvage his authority. "Okay, okay, let's not get hasty here. I-I'll talk to the guy and make sure he's removed from the venue. We can... we can make some adjustments."

James took a step closer, his demeanor still tense but slightly more controlled. “Good.. bloody good, yeah.” He sighed and rubbed his temple. “Now-”

“Get the fuck out!” Sirius shouted over James as his tone turned polite.

The producer mumbled something under his breath before he gathered what little pride he had and ran off.

You stood there shaking slightly, taking deep and steadying breaths when the door closed. James looked back to you and his eyebrows knit together with worry.

“Hey, sorry.” He cooed and muttered your name. Walking over only to give a soft ooph as you crashed into his chest with a tight hug.

This felt right. This felt safe.

It hit you why everything was crashing on you so hard. You have always been so strong, so determined, so ruthless. When the boys came along they smoothed out your edges with so much gentle care you forgot at times you needed to protect yourself.

Though, relying on them wasn't something you found unpleasant. You had been so strong all the time you forgot what it felt like to rely on someone. Let alone three practical guard dogs.

“I'm sorry you had to do that.” You whispered and James absolutely melted at the tender tone.

“Nope. You're not allowed to apologize for that.” James whispered and pulled you close and firm against him. You hummed and nuzzled your nose into his neck a bit. Not embarrassed to come undone in his arms.

“I'm still sorry. I hate to see you so upset…”

James sighed, his voice softening. "Seeing you upset is what makes me upset. Still debating going to give him another piece of my mind. I mean, who the fuck talks to someone like that?"

“James.” Remus warned and he huffed, nuzzling his nose into your hair. Finding comfort with you so close.

Safe.

You felt a tear slip down your cheek, but you quickly wiped it away, not wanting to let the emotions overwhelm you again. Sirius and Remus moved closer, forming a protective circle around you.

Sirius placed a reassuring hand on your shoulder, his earlier anger now replaced with concern. "You're alright, yeah? Come on, I hate seeing pretty girls cry.”

“Fuck off.” You choked out and Remus chuckled, rubbing your back.

Sirius gave a small, genuine smile. "That's the spirit. Just wanted to see a bit of that fire back."

You couldn't help but laugh through your tears, feeling the warmth and safety of your friends surrounding you. Remus continued to rub your back soothingly, his touch grounding you in the moment.

James pulled back slightly, just enough to look into your eyes. "You don't have to be strong all the time, {Y/N}. We're here for you. Always."

You nodded, taking a deep breath. "I know. And I appreciate it. I really do. I just... I wasn't expecting any of this tonight."

Remus gently wiped away a tear from your cheek. "I sure hope you weren't. It shouldn't have happened." He muttered, a bit guilty. Having seen it all go down and fighting every bit of himself not to move. You seemed like you had it handled- he didn't want to make a mockery of your strength. But when you left crying he almost screamed.

Sirius clapped his hands together, his usual mischievous grin returning. "Alright, sad sacks, enough of this sappy shit. Let's regroup, grab a drink, and figure out our next move. And if anyone else messes with our girl, they’ll have to answer to us. And I'm feeling high strung after Jamie’s lil proformance."

You smiled, feeling a newfound sense of strength and determination. The boys had your back, and you knew you could face anything with them by your side.

James nodded, his eyes still filled with concern but also a glimmer of hope. "Let's take a breather, all of us. We’ll decide what to do next, but for now, we need to make sure you're okay."

You took another deep breath, feeling the weight of the night slowly lifting. "Thanks, guys. I really don't know what I'd do without you."

Remus gave you one last comforting squeeze before letting go, his eyes filled with love and gentle concern. "You won't ever have to find out."

[hoejosatoru]

Star Crossed

Pairing: Fem!Reader x Togame Jo (characters are 21+, readers skin color and hair color/texture not described)

Summary: Being the sister of Bofurin's leader can get complicated. But when y/n accidentally hooks up with the vice leader of your rival gang? It's straight up messy. Y/n has to navigate her loyalty to Bofurin while also combatting nagging feelings about the man she is supposed to take down.

Word count: 14.5k

a/n: I got EXTREMELY carried away with this. I have no idea how this happened. BUT ALSO for the first scene of this togame will be referred to as James and y/n will be referred to as Alice because they give each other fake names when they meet. But James = Togame. hopefully that is not confusing lol. If your name is actually Alice idk why to tell you girlie sorry

Warnings: Drinking, fingering, smoking mentioned, y/n is mentioned to have past relationship with Hiragi and they hook up off screen, vague knife play, enemies to lovers, some stuff togame does could be considered stalking but y/n is also doing it back (like a cat and mouse), oral sex both m and f receiving, unprotected sex, creampie, getting walked in on, gun violence, blood mentiontion, very inacurate medical stuff please just suspend your disbelief for the plot lol, mentions of parent death, reader discussed past attempted sa, not proof read

You were looking for trouble. You could admit that.

Things were tough at work, if being a gang member counted as work. Really, it was more your life. They were so intertwined it was impossible to distinguish one from the other. So, life was just tough at the moment. Such is the burden of being one of the top members of Bofurin.

Your brother, Umemiya, was top dog. Respected by those who followed him, feared by those who were against him. Though, he didn't care much for people fearing him, it was simply a means to an end. He understood that most men only responded to power and fear and so he leaned into it, when needed.

Bofurin was mostly made of men, but being his sister allowed you the special privilege of being one of the few women involved. Certainly, you were the highest woman in the organization. You trained to fight - and kill, when necessary - with the best of them, yet that didn't stop you from getting stupid rules. Like this fucking curfew.

"Curfew my ass," you grumbled to yourself as you slipped out your apartment. Whenever things got tense between Bofurin and Shishitoren, your top rival, Umemiya insisted on you laying low. He didn't want to you going on missions or getting involved in business. Nor did he want to going out late or basically doing anything that could be considered fun.

You got it, you really did. You knew he was just looking out for you. You were truly one of Bofurin's best weapons. Shishitoren doesn't know what you look like, nor would they expect to a woman to be as skilled as you are. Their inclination to underestimate you would always be one of your biggest weapons. At the moment, though, your identity was your biggest asset. Not only did it help with gathering intel, but it kept you safe. If they knew who you were, who you were connected to, the target on your back would be massive.

So, yes, you got why Umemiya worried and tried to protect you. But you were a grown woman, and a stubborn one at that. You believed that you could handle yourself and your track record affirmed that. So if you wanted to go out one night and have some fun, was it really that bad?

You didn't think so, which is why you found yourself at a seedy little party. You heard about it through some Bofurin members, which should make it risky to attend but it was a masquerade party. Even if a few of them did attend, you'd easily blend in with the crowd. And even if Ume did find out, he couldn't be that mad. At least your face was covered when you went out.

But you weren't worried about that now. The dress you were waring fit you like a glove and you knew you looked hot. It's been so long since you've been able to wear something cute. You just wanted to drink and dance and blow off some steam. This underground party where everyone was anonymous and no one was asking questions was the perfect place to do it.

And you were enjoying all of that when you sensed a presence behind you. You were at the bar, trying to get the poor bartender's attention, but he was clearly overwhelmed by the amount of people swarming him for a drink. You felt him standing there, could feel his eyes on you.

You turned around cautiously, finding a tall man with a mess of dark hair. His face was masked, of course, but you could see emerald eyes glittering with mischief behind them. Something about him nagged at you, like a memory you couldn't quite recall. You reckoned it was the alcohol swimming at the edges of your senses and ignored it.

"Beautiful thing like you shouldn't have to wait for a drink," he said. Confidence rolled off him, in a way that some would describe as arrogance. You knew his type, all women did, but you were willing to play into his banter.

"And just how can you tell I'm beautiful with a mask on? Or were you just hoping I'd fall for that?" you questioned.

He grinned, amused by your attitude. "I've got a sixth sense for beautiful women that not even a mask could hide." He put a hand out and the bartender responded to him immediately, much to your chagrin. "What're you drinking?"

"Whatever you are."

"I like your style." He ordered two shots of vodka. "Basic, but it get the job done." You accepted the drink, your hand brushing his. Your stomach flipped, which could just be the alcohol you've already drank or it could be that this guy was peaking your interest. You haven't had fun with a man in a minute. You were too busy beating them up, usually.

"You know, I don't usually accept drinks from strangers," you mused.

"Oh? Guess that makes me special," He smirked. "But the name is James. And you?"

"Alice," you lied. You weren't stupid enough to give this random guy your name, as innocuous as he may be.

"Cheers." Your classes clinked together before you knocked them back. The alcohol blazed down your throat and settled in your stomach with a warm glow. You were at the pleasant level of buzzed, still in control but loosened up just enough to have some extra fun.

"Wanna dance?" you asked, already grabbed for his hand. He didn't protest because men who looked at you like he was looking at you never did.

"It would be my pleasure." You pulled him to the dance floor, which was crowded with bodies pressed against each other and swaying to the music. The air was hot and thick, but you didn't care. You let the music guide you, inching closer and closer to James until there wasn't an inch of space between you.

Your back was pressed to his front, your ass grinding against him to the beat. His hands snaked around your waist, feeling up and down your sides shamelessly. One hand edged dangerously close to the hem of dress, but only hovered there teasingly. You could feel him growing hard against your and your body reacted instantly, desire surging in your lower stomach.

You spun around, your eyes connecting in silent conversation. The charged air swirling around you sparked as you pressed your lips to his. You wrapped your arms around his neck, glad for the heels your wore so didn't have to stand on your tip toes to kiss him.

James responded immediately, one arm wrapped around your waist, the other gripping your ass. He kissed you deeply, with a confident ease that only made your body buzz. He slid one leg between your thigh as other dancers jostled around you, paying no mind to the two of you. His thigh brushed against your cunt and practically purred against him. Any chance of you making a smart decision was gone.

"Wanna find somewhere private?" James asked, breathless. His pupils were blown out, darkening his eyes and making them churn with desire. The second you nodded, he was leading you out of the crowd.

You wandered down the hallways, finally finding a door labeled storage. James tried to open the door, but it was lock. He frowned. "Got a bobby pin?"

You always kept one on you for these exact moments. You didn't want to show your hand, that you had such a skill. Better for him to not wonder, like you were wondering about him as you pulled the pin from your hair and pressed it into his palm. If you were any less consumed by need at the moment, you may have questioned the ease at which he picked the lock.

He grinned at you, incisor catching the light. "Special talent."

"Let's hope that's not your only one."

The door slammed shut the second you two slipped inside. He had you pressed against the wall, picking up where you left off on the dance. "I'm taking this shit off." James tossed his mask to the ground. Even in the darkness of the closet you could see he was devastatingly handsome. His nose was strong, his face angular, his eyes swallowing you up.

You followed his lead, letting your mask fall off your face. He cupped your face, brushing your cheek. "Mmm, knew I was right. You're fucking stunning." Your stomach fluttered, charmed despite yourself.

He kissed you again, unencumbered by the masks. You tangled your hands in his dark strands as he squeezed your ass. He bit into your lower lip, tugging slightly. His leg parted your thigh, urging you to grind against him. Your hips rolled and a moan escaped your lips at he delicious friction. He squeezed your tits as you rocked yourself against him.

The more you worked yourself up, the harder he got. He couldn't resist touching your cunt anymore, knowing it must be dripping. He could already feel a wet spot on his pants. He slipped his hand under the hem of your dress.

"Oh? What's this?" He pushed your dress up, revealing the knife you had strapped to your thigh. Shit, you forgot about that.

"What you've never seen a girl with a dagger before?" you brushed it off as a joke.

"Can't say I've had the pleasure." He finger trailed down the length of the blade, before trailing back up your inner thigh.

"Well you better hurry up and touch me or I'll be forced to use it on you."

He chuckled. "Don't threaten me with a good time, angel." He cupped your cunt, making you roll your hips against his palm. He kissed you again as he pushed your panties to the side, running his fingers through you soaked center. The coolness of his rings against the heat of you made you gasp.

"Fuck, angel, you're soaked," he mused, toying with your clit. "This all for me?" His middle finger slid inside you, pumping lightly. "Can feel you squeezing me already."

"You - fuck- love to hear yourself talk, huh?" You were embarrassed by how flustered you sounded already, but god this man was good with his fingers. He slid his ring finger in with his middle finger, curling against your g spot.

"Feels like you love listening," he replied. He fucked his fingers fasters, making you moan to prove his point. Your hips were bucking to match his movements, chasing the pleasure of his touch. "Look at you, fucking yourself on my fingers. How'd I get so lucky to find a nasty little thing like you?"

"James ngh-" you gasped, gripping his shoulders. The sound of your wet pussy getting fucked with his fingers filled the storage room. It was sinful, erotic. When his thumb found your clit your body sparked with the euphoric warmth of an orgasm. You moan, leaning your whole body weight on to James as your knees buckle.

"Atta girl," he praised, "So good for me." He held you with his other arm while he slipped his fingers out of you. He brought them to his mouth, sucking your release off them. "So sweet."

Before you could respond, the sound of a phone ringing filled the room. James reached into back pocket and frowned. "Sorry gotta take this." He turned away from you, listening to someone on the other end. "I'll take care of it," was all he said before hanging up and turning back to you.

"I hate to leave you now, angel, but duty calls," he said. "Can I get your number? Maybe we can finish this sometime."

"Oh, yeah sure." You normally don't give random dudes your number, but your brain was too hazy from coming down that high to think of something fake. You gave him your work cell number, knowing you wouldn't be answering him and could just block the number. As fun as this was, you didn't have time for the bull shit that came with hook ups.

"Thanks for the treat," he said, wiggling his fingers. You rolled your eyes, but waved goodbye as he slid out the door.

"Well, shit," you said to yourself when you were alone. Trouble was certainly found.

***

You woke with a dully ache behind your eyes. Definitely not the worst hangover you endured, but enough to make you grumpy. The texts you woke to did nothing to quiet the pounding in your head. Umemiya was scheduling an urgent, emergency meeting. Great.

It seemed that there were many of these meetings recently, which took the anxiety out of you as you got ready. You were more worried about keeping a normal appearance. If you look hungover, your brother would certainly be suspicious of what you did last night.

"You look lovely," Suo commented sarcastically when he saw you. You plopped down next to him, glad for the cool air up on the Bofurin base's roof.

"You really know how to make a girl feel special, Suo," you grumbled. Suo was one of your closest friend in Bofurin, despite his little barbs.

"Did something happen last night?" he asked as your brother and the rest of the Bofurin higher ups filed in.

"I'll tell you later."

Everyone settled around the table as Hiragi wheeled at the projector you used for meetings. The look on his and your brother's face made your stomach twinge with nerves. Something was up.

"Welcome everyone," Ume began, "I apologize for calling you all here so urgently, but we've had a major break through in our work against Shishitoren." Everyone seemed to lean forward, eager for the new information. "We've uncovered the identity of Togame Jo."

Murmurs broke out. Shit, this was big. Bofurin has been trying to get his identity for months now. We knew he was the right hand of Choji, one of the most fearsome members of Shishitoren. However, he always kept his identity concealed when he went out. You only had shoddy, vague descriptions of him from members who have crossed his path - and lived to tell the tale.

"Here's his picture. Make sure you spread it to everyone in your division," Ume stated as the photo Togame filled the screen.

The world seemed to fall away from you. Those eyes staring at you from the screen were all too familiar.

Suddenly it hit you, that nagging feeling you had when you saw James last night.

He was tall... green eyes... dark hair...

The descriptions his victims had given. It was him, James was Togame Jo.

Fuck, fuck, fuck.

Your blood was roaring in your ears, so you almost missed when Ume said your name. "Y/n, I want you to help on this."

"M-me?" you hated how you stuttered, but you couldn't help it. Your mouth felt dry and cottony. Not only were shocked that this was Togame, the man you hooked up with last night, but you were confused that Ume would want you involved in this at all.

"I've heard you loud and clear about wanting to be more involved," Ume said. "You are our secret weapon. He doesn't know what you look like, but he knows the rest of us. You are our best chance to get him." He paused, clearly not fully happy with this plan, but accepting he didn't have a choice. "It will be dangerous, but I don't think that bothers you."

Everyone was staring at you, waiting for a reaction. Your brain was functioning at a mile a minute, trying to process everything that was just thrown at you. Your skin felt hot and prickly under their gazes. You had an irrational fear that they could see your guilt on your face, that they knew what you did.

"Of course," you mustered up. "I'll do it." You hoped you sounded more assured than you felt. If Ume thought something was amiss, he didn't comment on it.

The rest of the meeting was a blur. The only thing that stuck out to you was Ume giving anyone who encountered Togame the permission to use lethal force, if necessary. Umemiya did not give that out lightly, so you knew how serious this was to him.

Your brain felt scrambled as you were trying to figure out how the fuck you were going to sort this out. Should you tell Ume? You know you probably should, but this was the first time he was trusting you with something big and this would totally destroy that. But he if he finds out somehow he'll be even more pissed.

As the meeting was clearing out you came to the only possible conclusion: you needed to eliminate Togame before anyone could find out.

Your eyes flicked up to his image on the screen, your body swelling with anxiety. The photo of him, you realized, was from last night. He was slipping out of the party, never having put his mask back on. So there were other Bofurin members there. Shit, what if someone saw you?

"Y/n, can you stay for a minute?" Ume stopped your train of thoughts. You nodded, not trusting your words. Everyone else filtered out, leaving just you and your brother. Paranoia gnawed at you. Did he know? Was this some sort of test. No... he couldn't. He wouldn't have asked you to help in front of everyone if he knew.

"Are you okay?"

"I'm fine," you answered a little too quickly. "Seriously, I am. I just didn't sleep great last night. Something I ate, I think." The lies slipped out of you with surprising ease.

"I'm not saying this to be... patronizing," Ume stole the word you used often, a ghost of a smile playing at his lips. "I know you're strong and capable. I know you can do this. I don't love the idea, but Hiragi convinced me." Ume gave you a pointed look.

Your heart squeezed atet the mention of Hiragi. You dated for a bit a few years ago. You really loved him, but you guys just didn't work out. You've hooked up a handful of times since the break up, but you never got back to a serious place. Your friendship was strong enough to weather that, but you weren't as close as you once were.

Ume were convinced that you two were meant to be. He'd be over the moon if you guys got married, making Hiragi his true brother. It made you emotional that he pushed so hard for you. He knew what this would mean for you. But it was bittersweet, making you feel more guilty about what you did the prior evening.

Ume continued, "Bottom line is, Togame is dangerous guy. I need you to promise me you'll be honest with me. And with yourself. If it seems too much, too dangerous, we'll find another way."

"You worry too much Ume," you sighed. You were trying to brush off his praise of you. It felt undeserved at the moment.

"I'm serious, y/n," he replied. "You're the only family I have left. Promise me you'll tell me if you need help, or if something goes wrong. It won't be a poor reflection fo you at all."

"I promise," you lied. It felt heavy on your tongue. Bitter.

"Okay," he nodded, "I trust you."

God he was really trying to make you feel like the biggest piece of shit. You debated telling him, but you couldn't stand the shame of it. He was right, you could do this. But you had to act quickly.

"Y/n, wait up." It was Hiragi hustling up behind you as walked home. "Mind if I join you?"

"Ume didn't send you, did he?" you questioned.

"No, I just wanted to see how you were doing," he replied, "You seemed a bit off today."

You shrugged. "Just slept like shit and was not expecting the meeting to be about that." At least that wasn't a lie. "What did you have to do to Ume to get him to put me on this? It looked like it pained him."

Hiragi chuckled. "I knew you'd want to do it and it just makes sense. Dangerous, but makes sense." He sighed. "And Ume does believe in you, you know. He just doesn't wanna see you hurt. None of us do."

"I get it," you nodded. "I'm going to handle it. The sooner Togame is out of our hair, the better."

"No argument here," he replied. "Any plans on how you're going to do it?" That was the magic question, wasn't it?

In the brief amount of time since this was all dropped on you, your mind has been churning with plans. It dawned on you that he didn't know who you were. Sure, he saw your face, but what did that matter if he didn't realize who you were? You could use that your advantage.

"Dunno," you replied, "I could probably seduce him. I figure a guy like Togame would be easy enough to fool if you get him horny enough."

Hiragi grimaced. "I don't love that plan."

"Of course you don't," you replied. "I don't love it either." Your mind swam with memories of last night, how easy it had been to get that close to him. You hated how your body fluttered at these thoughts. God if only you had known then... "I'm not going to actually sleep with him. Just get him alone, when he least expects it." You weren't sure if you were saying that to reassure him or yourself.

You were outside your apartment then and Hiragi stopped to look at you. "Just promise me you're not gonna put yourself in unnecessary danger."

Well, that ship has sailed. "Unnecessary danger is kinda my thing, Hiragi."

His eyes narrowed. "I'm serious, y/n."

You groaned. "You and Ume are so serious. You guys gotta lighten up." You sighed, ready to be alone. To shower, clear your head. "But I promise I will be smart about this." At least as best as you could, but you kept that to yourself.

Hiragi nodded. "If you need anything, don't hesitate. I know how Ume can be with you and I don't want to feeling like you have to hide shit from him. If you're in a bind, but don't wanna go to him you can always come to me. You know that, right?"

You did and that was the worst part. The way Hiragi looked at you, sometimes you wondered how much his feelings lingered for you. You thought about spilling your guts to him right then and there. You did trust him, but this wasn't a minor hiccup. Togame seeing your face was a huge deal. Not to mention you didn't want to have to answer question as how he saw your face, especially not to Hiragi.

Somethings you knew he would hide from Ume for you, but you weren't sure if this was one of them. More than that, you didn't want to put him in that position. To have to choose between betraying you or betraying Ume. You had enough on your conscious right now and wouldn't add that.

"Thanks, Hiragi," your voice was thicker than you expected, fighting off emotions. "I'll let you know if I need anything." With that, you said your goodbyes.

You showered, ate, hydrated and the ache in your head subsided. You turned ideas over in your head, trying to whittle them down to being smooth, sensible. You'd wait for Togame to call you, you'd play along and get him alone, and then capture him. Kill him, if needed.

The latter made you uneasy. Killing wasn't foreign to you as a Bofurin member, but it certainly wasn't very common place. Umemiya believed in the inherent value of human life. Bofurin's goal was to keep the town safe, which meant driving out those who wreak havoc on the innocent. Ume, of course, was not opposed to using force to achieve this goal. He'll tell anyone who will listen that fights are a language.

There are very rare occasions where it is clear fists aren't enough. Weeds that have been plucked and yet grow back time and time again. That was the Shishitoren higher ups, a parasite on the town that needed to be ripped out, root and stem.

You've never been put on a mission where killing the target was the object. You've only had to kill someone once and it was in self defense. You shudder at the memory. If the rumors about Togame were true, you knew he had to be stopped. Still, the thought of killing him in cold blood brought you no joy.

You would try to capture him, let Ume handle him, but there was a risk. Would Togame tell Ume about you? Would Ume even believe him? Surely you could just say he was lying.

The sound of your phone ringing pulled you from your thoughts. Your work phone. You didn't recognize the number, so it had to be him. Your stomach was in knots as you clicked accept.

"Hello?"

"Hello, Alice." It was Togame, that was for sure. And the way he said the name told you he knew it was fake. Shit.

"Who is this?" you kept your voice even.

"You wound me," Togame replied, "I thought we shared something special last night, y/n."

Fuck, how did he know who you were? This was bad. "What do you want?"

"I think we have a lot to discuss."

"Go ahead, then."

"Hmm, I find in person so much more... productive," Togame replied, the lilt in his voice telling you he was enjoying this.

"And why would I trust that?" you practically laughed.

"I never lie to beautiful women." You wished he could see you roll your eyes. "And because I'm putting myself just as much at risk by meeting with you." That was true. He took your silence as an invitation to continue. "Just you and me, no fights, no weapons. Just a conversation... Though if you have that little knife of yours strapped to your thigh again, I wouldn't object." You could practically hear his smirk over the phone.

You sighed, pinching the bridge of your nose. It was stupid, horribly stupid, but there was a chance you could get something out of him that would be helpful. "Okay. Meet me at the dock at 10pm. There's a spot behind 3 big shipping crates by the water that's private."

"It's a date." Before you could protest that it most certainly was not a date, he hung up.

You seen the rest of the evening playing a variety of ways this could play out. Many of them ended with you captured, or worse. You debated calling Hiragi, but you just couldn't bring yourself to do it. You didn't want to bring him into this met, at least not unless it was dire.

At 9:30 you set off for the docks. The location you gave Togame was your favorite place to clear your head. The shipyard wasn't exactly the safest place to hang out, but you never ran into anyone at this particular spot. It was perfect for when you needed to disconnect from everything. You hated that you now gave it away to Togame, but it was the only place you were sure you could talk uninterrupted.

You were stationed at your spot by 9:45. Perfect. You wanted to be there before Togame so you could scope out the area. You stood with your back towards the water so he couldn't sneak up on you. You were about to steel yourself for the wait when you heard footsteps approaching.

"Guess we both had the same idea of getting here early." Togame swaggered in dressed all in back, save for his yellow Shisitoren jacket. He seemed utterly relaxed, as if he was meeting an old friend.

Much to your dismay, he was every bit as attractive as he was last night. You were hoping it was the alcohol that had clouded your vision of him, but no. He was devastatingly, annoying good looking.

"Nice to see you angel... or I guess I should say princess," Togame smirked. Your blood boiled.

"Don't call me that," you snapped. You had, against your wishes, been given the nickname of the princess of Bofurin awhile back. It started out as a joke, but the more you expressed your hatred of it, the more people used it. Eventually, it traveled out to those beyond Bofurin and since they didn't know your real name, that was what stuck. It irked you to no end.

"So hostile," Togame mused, "And here I thought we were going to have a nice little chat." He looked out on the water, lights glittering on the inky water. "This is kind of a romantic choice. If I didn't know any better, I'd think you wanna pick up where we left off last night."

You groaned. "That was a mistake."

Togame feigned offense. "Ouch."

A thought hit you like a shock of ice water. "Did you know who I was last night?" It was bad enough that you hooked up with Togame by mistake, but if you had been manipulated? It made your skin crawl.

"No," he answered seriously. "There was a small team in Shishitoren assigned to uncovering your identity, but I was not one of them. Last night was just a very happy accident."

"For you, maybe," you grumbled. "But why not? Aren't you their second in command."

Toagme shrugged. "The detective stuff is grunt work. Besides, it was risky digging into you. At the time we were still trying to cover my identity, but cats out of the bag now it seems."

Your blood ran cold. "So there are others? Who know about me?" You scanned the area again, certain you were going to be ambushed.

"Relax, princess, it's just you and me," Togame said. "But yes there are. The small group looking into you, myself and Choji, but that's it for now."

"For now?"

"Ah, that's why I'm here," Togame replied, taking a few steps closer to you. You wanted to back away, but you also didn't want to come off as afraid. You decided to stand your ground. "Choji doesn't trust the grunts to capture you without killing you or fucking it up. You're worth more to us alive."

Your bristled, "I'm not a fucking object to be taken."

"Neither am I and yet you would capture me all the same, wouldn't you?" Togame questioned. You frowned because he was right. "I thought so. It's not pleasant work we do, but it needs to be done." He signed, pulling out a cigarette and taking a drag. "It's a nasty habit, know. Hope you don't mind."

"Can you just get to the point, please." You were exhausted and agitated.

"I'm offering you a chance to surrender without a fight," Togame replied.

You couldn't stifle your laugh. "How tempting."

"I'm doing you a favor," Togame said, "Like I said, Choji doesn't trust the other guys to do the job right, but he also isn't a patient guy. He gave me two weeks to capture you. After that, your picture will be released to everyone."

Fuck, that would not be good. You would have to tell Ume if it got that far. "How do you know that I won't capture you before then?"

"Cause I'm good at what I do," Togame replied.

Annoyance flared at his underestimation of you. You had to remind yourself that was a good thing, it would be easier to surprise him. "So what I come with you and then god knows what happens to me in Shishitoren?"

"Shishitoren has a rule," Togame explained, "Whoever brings someone in has dibs on that person. No one else can touch them, unless Choji says otherwise. He would listen to me. What I'm offering you is protection." You mulled over his words, trying to gauge the truth of them, if you could even trust him if they were true. You knew all too well what could happen to you if you were captured by a group like Shishitoren.

Ultimately you didn't know if you could trust him, but you did trust yourself. "I don't need your protection," You replied, "Two weeks is more than enough time to hunt you down."

"Hmm, I cannot deny that sounds fun," Togame mused, "Always loved when women chase me." He dropped the cigarette, grinding it into the pavement.

"Then we are done here," you replied, ignoring his comment. "I'll let you go now, but starting tomorrow I'm not holding back. I'm not scared to kill you if you resist."

Togame laughed. "I bet you've never even killed a fly."

Your anger flared and in a second you were on him, knife unsheathed and pressed against his throat. You savored the tiny flash surprise in his eyes as you shoved him against one of the shipping containers. "You have no idea what I'm capable of."

"Mmm I was hoping you'd use that thigh knife on me," Togame smirked, unbothered by the position he found himself in. You could do it, you could press the blade further into his skin and end this now.

Togame saw the wheels turning in your head and put an end to them immediately. He flipped you around lightning quick, pinning both of your hands over your head. The pressure he put on your wrists caused your grip on the knife to loosen, then slip from your grasp. He caught it with his free hand, pressing it your throat. The blade was icy against your warm skin.

"As hot as that was, I'm not trying to die tonight princess," he whispered in your ear. "Or ever, for that matter." You tried to squirm away from him, but he was too strong. His thigh was slotting between your legs, too much like the position you'd been in the prior evening. Your body betrayed you by responding with a hint of want.

"So two weeks, you and me, and the best will win," Togame said. "Do I get a good luck kiss?"

"Fuck off," you spat.

Togame sighed. "I'll get that kiss one way or another." He released you, flipping the knife back to you. "See you soon, princess."

With that you were alone, staring down the barrel of two weeks that were likely to change everything.

***

And so began your game of cat and mouse with Togame Jo. You went for a run the following morning, hoping to clear your head. Later in the day you received a text from Togame with a photo of you jogging.

That's a cute little set you got on

He was referring to the matching bike shorts and sports bra your wore. It happened to be your favorite, but now you were scowling at it. How had he been so close you didn't notice.

You had to one up him.

The next day you used the intel Bofurin had provided you on Togame's movements. You staked out the coffee shop he frequently, snapping a picture of him picking up his order.

Didn't picture you as an oat milk guy

You had texted him. He responded instantly.

I'm just happy you've been picturing me. Any other fantasies you want to share?

His message bothered you because you had been fantasizing about him. Your mind kept drifting to that night, his kiss, the way he touched you... You tried to convince yourself it was meaningless intrusive thoughts, but it didn't help how ridiculous it felt. You should be focusing on capturing him, not how it felt to have his fingers slide between your thighs... Anyways.

It didn't help that you were now sending photos back and forth every day, getting closer and closer to one another. It was almost like a game, how close could you get without the other noticing? To make matters worse, Togame started calling you.

You ignored it at first, but curiosity got the best of you. At first it was just little taunts about seeing each other, but the conversations became longer and longer. You actually found yourself looking forward to them, waiting by your phone in the evening.

All the while you were inching closer and closer to each other. Once, you'd been tailing him, certain he was unaware. But a few turns led you to a dead end, which nothing but a post it on the concrete reading nice try princess.

Never one to be one upped, you led him on a wild goose chase the following day. You left him a polaroid photo of yourself flipping him off.

That night Togame thanked you for the photo in that sweet, syrupy voice of his. Telling you he was going to keep it in his wallet. You blushed despite yourself.

You were being absolutely ridiculous, you realized. A week passed, half the time before everyone in Shishitoren would know who you were, and you were blushing over some stupid comment from Togame. It was idiotic. You were treating this like some stupid game, forgetting how dangerous your opponent was, how high the stakes were.

You weren't proud of how you tried to get your mind off things. Hiragi came over and you turned that damned phone off, shoving in the darkest corner of your drawers. He was in your bed within an hour.

And it was good, sure. Having dated Hiragi he knew your body well, but it didn't stop your mind from drifting to Togame. If you believed in magic, you would think he's bewitched you. Realistically you were just being weak, letting a guy get in your head like this just because he was attractive. Maybe Ume was right to not trust you with serious stuff if this is how you handle it.

When Hiragi left the next morning, you felt worse than before. Nothing changed and now you felt guilty about using Hiragi. You'd hooked up a few times, so you didn't think it was that big of a deal. But knowing you had ulterior motives he wasn't privy to made you feel bad about it. Ugh.

Like clockwork, Togame called you that evening.

"You had another guy over last night? And hear I was thinking we had something special," Togame mused.

"Didn't take you for the jealous type," you replied.

"I've never been a very good sharer," he replied. "Especially not with Bofurin guys."

"I guess it's a good thing I'm not sharing anything with you, then," you replied.

"That was Hiragi, wasn't it? That your type? Good guys?" Togame questioned.

"And what if it is?" You bristled, more in defense of Hiragi than anything.

"You'll be very bored," Togame yawned, "Does he even satisfy you."

You thoughts of the prior evening, Hiragi's hands in your hair, your bodies press together, him slipping inside you. The orgasm good, but not like that night with Togame...

"Yes," you answered.

"Hmm was that hesitation I sensed, princess?" Togame purred. "Is he not getting you off? You know I could."

"Beginner's luck."

"Oh? Wanna test out that theory?" Togame replied. "I've been wanting to get a second taste."

"Goodnight Togame." You hung up and tossed your phone away.

***

Thank god your friends were having a girls night. You needed to relax and get your mind off things. Not only were your thoughts about Togame incessant and irritating, but you were edging closer to the 2 week mark. Just a few days stood between you and the entirety of Shishitoren knowing who you were. You could feel the clock ticking.

But not tonight. Tonight you were just hanging out with your friends, getting wine drunk, and thinking only of gossip and drama. It was exactly what you needed.

You talked well into the night, but insisted on going home even though your friend said you could say. The alcohol was wearing off, but there was still the slightest buzz in your body and all you wanted was your bed. Your place was just a few blocks away it would be fine, you had told her.

Perhaps it was the buzz, or the way you let your guard down around your friends that had lulled you into a false sense of security. You were certain you would have heard the footsteps if it wasn't for that.

"Hello, princess." The voice was low and close to your ear. Too close.

You spun around, your knife whipped out and pressed agains the neck of-

"Togame," you gasped. Adrenaline and fear coursed through your system, making you breathless. "What the fuck?" You were pissed at him for scaring you, pissed at yourself for being so oblivious that it allowed him to scare you.

"It's dangerous for you to be walking home alone at this hour," Togame replied. He hadn't even flinched when you pulled the knife on him.

You grumbled, tucking the blade back into its hiding spot. "Yeah, you're the danger."

"There's worse things than me out here, princess," Togame replied. Something about his words sent a shiver down your spine. "Let me walk you home."

You eyed Togame, wondering if this was all some ruse. He could have just gotten you, easily. That really freaked you out. But... he didn't. There was a curiosity about him that nagged at you. Maybe, you wondered, getting those questions answered would put him out of your head.

"Walk me to the park, I don't wanna go home yet," you replied. You started walking, not waiting for him to agree. This time you were keenly aware of his footsteps trailing right behind you.

Togame broke the silence as you settled down onto a bench next to a willow tree. The park was usually bustling with life, but at this hour it was still and silent. "Another romantic spot you've chosen for us."

"Are you incapable of being serious?" you replied flatly.

"Usually," Togame grinned.

Despite his aversion to giving straight answers, your curiosity got the best of you. "Why didn't you grab me back there? You completely caught me off guard. You could have..." You trailed off, the bitter taste of almost defeat preventing you from finishing the sentence.

"That's the million dollar question, isn't it?" Togame considered. "I guess I'm not ready for this to end yet. Having too much fun."

"So you just want to toy with me longer?"

"I wouldn't say that," Togame replied, "I'm a bit... conflicted about what comes next. I don't take pleasure in the idea of handing you over to Choji as a bargaining chip, but I owe him. I'm just delaying the inevitable, I suppose."

"You're nothing like I expected," you commented.

"Oh? What did you expect?"

"I just thought you were going to be, well, evil," you replied, "The rumors about you make you seem like a monster, but I don't see that. At least I haven't yet."

On some level you felt Togame could just be showing you what he wanted you to see. That he was playing the long con and trying to lull you into a false sense of security. But you realized you weren't truly afraid of him. You were afraid of getting caught, of what Choji might do to you, of disappointing your brother, but Togame? He didn't strike that deep fear in you that you've experienced from some other men.

Togame chuckled. "I'm certainly not a saint, but I'm no devil. I reckon it's easier for guys to make me out to be a monster than admit they were beat fair and square. You on the other hand live up to the rumors."

"What rumors?"

"Well, for a while all we knew was Umemiya had a beautiful little sister," Togame explained. "You're every bit as stunning as they say, which makes my job harder."

"Really? Is that all they say about me?" you replied, ignoring how Togame's words brought a tint to your cheeks. You were more annoyed that people only commented on superficial shit because you were a girl, most likely.

"To be fair, Ume did a really good job of hiding any information about you," Togame replied. "Honestly, you've surprised me in a lot of ways too. I kinda expected you to be bratty." Togame smirked. "Which, I guess you are, but you're also strong, brave, and smart. Being your enemy isn't easy."

Pride surged through you. People often questioned your abilities, whether it was because you were a girl or Umemiya's sister. Either way, it always made you feel like shit, like everything you've accomplished meant nothing.

"Thank you," you replied.

"Of course," Togame said. "Can I ask you a question now?"

"Sure."

"That night at the docks, I made a joke about you killing and it seems I touched a nerve," Togame said. "It's left me wondering, have you ever killed someone?"

"I have," you replied, your voice thin.

Togame raised a brow. "Did it not go well?"

You sighed. "You could say that." Your arms wrapped around yourself instinctively as the memories flooded back. It wasn't a story you shared with many, but for some reason you wanted to tell Togame.

"It wasn't my intent to kill the guy, at least that wasn't the plan going in," you began. "He was a run of the mill creep, harassing women and just a nuisance. We thought he was harmless at the time. I was supposed to just scare him off, but then he pulled a gun on me. I wrestled it away from him, but in the scuffle he got me to the ground and I hit my head hard."

You took a deep breath trying to calm yourself. "I was dazed and he... he was trying to get my pants off and..." You shuddered at the memory, how you could still feel his hands on you to this day. "Luckily he didn't get far because I shot him then. I wasn't necessarily trying to kill him, I just wanted him to stop, but it he died."

"Fucking bastard," Togame snapped. "I'm glad you killed him. I would have done it myself if you hadn't."

"I don't regret it. If it wasn't me, it would have been another girl. Someone who wouldn't have been able to defend herself," you replied.

"I'm sorry that happened to you, it's fucking awful," Togame said, "Men that prey on women are the scum of the earth." You were surprised by how genuine he was, the fire behind his words.

"Shishitoren doesn't exactly have the best reputation, you know," you replied. You knew some of the members have done some bad things.

Togame's face darkened. "Believe me, I know. But when I find out about it, they are dealt with by me personally. Trust me when I say I make them regret it before kicking them out." There was a fervor to his voice, one that comes from person experience.

"You seem very passionate about that," you commented.

"My dad beat on my mom," Togame told you. "I was really little, my memories are only vague now. I just remember being really scared and feeling so powerless. I couldn't help my mom then, but if I can stop other abusive assholes now I feel like it makes up for it somehow."

"He sounds like a piece of shit," you replied. You hated the thought of Togame cowering as a child, watching something no kid should ever have to.

"He was. He left us when I started getting older," Togame said. "I think he knew I would fight back when I was big enough. Those few years without him, when it was just my mom and I, were some of my happiest." He stared off into the distance for a moment, lost in a memory you couldn't see. "Then my mom got sick. Advanced form of cancer. She was gone within a year of the diagnosis. I didn't have anyone, no other family or anything. That's when I met Choji."

You found yourself leaning into him as he spoke, drawn to the story, drawn to him.

"He brought me into Shishitoren, gave me a purpose and a family. I honestly don't know if I would have made it without him," Togame admitted. "I feel like I owe him now. I'll do practically anything he asks because he was there for me when no one else was."

You looked at Togame then. Really looked at him. His story changed your view of him completely. You understood him, you realized, more than you ever expected to. You wondered, then, how different things would have been if Ume had met him and not Choji.

"I'm sorry Togame," you replied. "Ume and I lost out parents when we were younger. Robbery gone wrong. It was so painful, but at least I had my brother. I can't imagine what it would be like to go through that on your own."

"I guess we are more alike than we ever thought, huh y/n?"

"Yeah, I guess we are."

Togame was a good person, you decided, but was led astray by feeling indebted to a man who was not good. But if it had been Ume? Someone who would have kept him on right path? If you had met under different circumstances...

You had the sudden urge to kiss him. It was not a feeling borne of lust, rather of the desire to be close to him. To feel him. Togame's eyes met yours and you sensed it in him too, that desire. But you were scared of breaking this moment, of shattering this fragile thing that was taking root.

You opted to take his hand, warm and rough in yours, and squeeze it gently. You went to pull it away, but Togame held you.

"Y/n..." he breathed.

"I should go," you replied, without moving.

A silent conversation happened between the two of you. An understanding of the inevitable coming.

Togame nodded. "I'll walk you home." You didn't protest this time. You walked together in a weighted silence, exchanging quiet goodbyes at your apartment.

You fell asleep thinking only of Togame.

***

You went for a walk the next day, trying to calm the storm of your mind. There were only two things you knew for certain: feelings for Togame had taken root in you and if you didn't turn him in in the next 2 days everything would go to shit.

A headache was starting to form when your phone rang. The number you've come to know as Togame's flashed across the screen. Call it intuition or an anxiety disposition, but you knew something was wrong.

"Hello?"

"Y/n, where are you?" Togame was breathless, almost frantic.

"I'm in the park. What's wrong?"

"Choji, he released your picture."

Your blood ran cold. "What? I thought we had two more days?"

"He was in a mood. He thought I would have caught you by now. Fuck," Togame said. "They're coming, you gotta get back to your place. I'm on my way."

"Shit okay," You replied. You told him the route you planned to take, one that was out of the way, hoping you couldn't be followed. Togame said he was going to try to catch up with you. "Thank you, Togame."

You hung up then, walking as briskly as you could without drawing attention to yourself. You thought you were doing well until you rounded a corner and saw a bright yellow jacket heading towards you. You turned around only to find another one coming up the block.

Shit. You took off down an alley, following the twists and turns you hoped would confuse them. You could hear their footsteps behind you, buzzing like angry wasps hunting you down. Your pulse was hammering in your ears, knowing they were gaining on you.

"Fuck," you gasped. You hit a dead end. You turned around bracing to face your attackers.

"Well if it isn't the princess of Bofurin," one of the men said with a nasty smile. "You're quite the prize."

"Fuck off," you snapped.

"No can do," The other man replied. The both stepped closer to you, caging you in. "Why don't you just come nice and quietly with us? We'd hate to mess up that pretty face of yours."

"No fucking way." You pulled your knife out. "You want me? Then you're gonna have to kill me."

You lunged at the first man, slicing him across the arm. He let out an angry yelp. "Fucking bitch!"

The both went after you, you were more agile, maneuvering away from them. You landed some blows on them, but they were tough. It wasn't enough to knock them out. The circled you, getting you closer and closer to the wall, with nowhere to go. The knife was knocked out of your hand, hitting the concrete with a clatter.

"Got you," the other guy sneered. He reared back, poised to strike you, but he was suddenly ripped away from you.

"Togame?" the first man said, bewildered.

You'd never seen such anger in Togame's eyes. He was in a frenzy, beating the man who was about to hit you into the ground.

"Dude what the fuck? We're on the same team?" the first man yelled. Togame paid him no mind. The man tried to pull him off his partner, but Togame shoved him away. "I'm not dealing with this bull shit."

He pulled out a gun, aiming it right at you. You gasped, ducking just in time to miss the bullet that whizzed past you and struck the brick behind you. You felt a white hot pain on your ear, your fingers coming away with blood. For a horrible second you thought you had been hit, but the bullet had only grazed you you.

All Togame saw, though, was you bleeding due to another man. He snapped, jumping the guy that shot you. He ripped the gun out go his had and pistol whipped him, knocking him out cold. He kicked him, despite the guy being unresponsive. You were afraid he might kill him.

The other guy tried to get up, staring daggers at Togame. All other thoughts left you as you lunged at him. You beat him to the ground, dodging his blows as best you could. With a final punch to the face, the man went limp.

You and Togame stood, both panting. "Are you okay?" He was cupping your face, inspecting you for signs of damage.

"I'm okay. Let's just get out of here before they get up."

You made it back to your apartment unscathed. Togame was flurrying around you the second you were alone.

"You're not okay, you're bleeding," he frowned, looking at your ear. Some of the blood had dripped down on to your shirt, making the wound look worse than it was.

"It just grazed me," you replied.

"You could have died." You shuttered at the truth you had tried to ignore. A few millimeters separated you from death. "Do you have a first aid kit here?"

You directed Togame to it, who insisted on caring for your wound. His had were delicate and diligent as they cleaned the wound. You sat on your bathroom counter, Togame leaning so close to you, you could feel his breath fanning across your skin. It made your stomach flip.

"Am I going to live?" you joked.

Togame cracked a small smile. "Yes, but only because you have such a great doctor." He finished secure a tiny bandage to your ear, his hand dropping. You deflated at the lost of contact.

"Togame," you said, looking into his emerald eyes. "You saved me, but what does that mean for you? Are you going to be in trouble?"

Togame shrugged. "I'll tell Choji I was about to capture you and those two idiots busted in and ruined it. He'll believe me. I just... I just wish it didn't have to be like this."

"Me too," you admitted.

Togame looked at you with longing. "What do you want?"

What a loaded question. You weren't even sure if you knew what you wanted, in a long term sense. You couldn't think outside of this moment. And what you wanted now was clear to you. "I want you."

It was like a switch was flipped then. All your reservations gone in an instant. Your lips connected with his and your word was set ablaze. You had kissed him before, of course, but this was totally different. This was more than just hunger and lust.

You wrapped your legs around Togame's waist, holding him close to you. He gripped your ass, lifting you off the counter. His tongue slid into your mouth, pulling a soft moan of contentment as he walked you to the bedroom.

You were a tangled mess as you fell together on the bed. The weight of Togame on top of you equally comforted you and flamed your desire. He was so solid, so strong you couldn't stand any layer of clothing being between you and his skin any longer.

"Someone's eager," Togame teased as you yanked off his shirt.

"Like you're not?" you countered, giving the bulge in his pants a squeeze. You pulled your own shirt off, relishing the desire that flooded his eyes when they flicked down to your chest.

"Oh, I definitely am." Togame leaned back over you, caging you in. "I'm not scared to admit it." He was kissing down your neck sucking at your skin. "I haven't gone a night without thinking about you since we met." He was at your chest now, his tongue tease your nipples.

He continued down your body, his breath against your skin as he spoke. "Been dreaming of touching you against." He slid your pants down your legs, pressing a kiss to your cloth covered cunt. "Dreaming of tasting you."

You squirmed, aching for release, for him. You murmured a desperate plea for him to continue.

"This time, y/n," he slid your underwear off you, "I want to you say my name when you cum. My real name."

Togame licked a stripe up your dripping cunt, shamelessly moaning. "Fuck you're so sweet." He ate you out like a man starved. It was messy and frenzied, but diligent. He knew exactly how to work you up, rolling your throbbing clit with his tongue before sucking on it.

Your hips bucked as your hands knotted in his raven-black hair. Togame groaned in response, loving the stinging pull of you gripping his hair.

"Jo!" you moaned as he pressed his tongue inside you. It was warm and wet and sinful as he fucked you with his tongue. The sound of his name on your lips drove him near mad. He cock was heart and aching as he ground into the bed for some relief.

You rolled your own hips, chasing the high that was building rapidly. Your throbbing clit bumped against his nose, sending jolts of lightning pleasure through you. "You like that y/n?" Togame mused. "Like fucking my face with this pretty little cunt of yours?"

You whined in response, words escaping you as he swirled his tongue impossibly faster. It was so much, too much. Your orgasm hit you with white hot pleasure, consuming all your senses.

"Jo- ngh," the words slurred out of you. Togame hummed contently against you, lapping up every bit of release. He was painfully hard then, but it no rush. He wanted to savor ever bit of you.

You, however, were not so patient. You were yanking him up by his hair, desperate to kiss him again. He chuckled against your lips as you pawed at his pants. "What's the rush, angel? We got all night."

"Need you," you murmured into the kiss. You were hooking when you heard your name. You were so lost in the haze of lust that you didn't realize it wasn't Togame who had said it. Your head whipped around to find-

"Hiragi," you gasped. You were frozen in shock. Your brain couldn't compute Hiragi being here in this moment. Hiragi appeared equally shocked.

"What the fuck is going on?" He was glued to his spot in the doorway, like a deer in headlights. You were vaguely aware of Togame beside you, poised like a cat who was debating pouncing.

"I-I can explain," you stumbled over your words. You were scrambling to put your clothes back on. It was nothing Hiragi hasn't seen, but you felt too exposed. You sensed Togame doing the same, all while keeping his eyes carefull trained on Hiragi.

"I thought you said you weren't going to sleep with him," Hiragi said, a current of emotion in his voice. He was just shocked, he was hurt. Although you have not been together for awhile seeing you with another man- Togame no less- was like a knife in his heart. Your shame was instantly amplified with guilt.

"I'm sorry Hiragi I-I didn't expect to..." Your voice trailed off because how could you tell Hiragi you developed feelings for Togame? You hadn't even fully admitted that to yourself.

Hiragi snapped. "You were supposed to be being smart y/n! Just lured him in and capture him. What the fuck where you thinking?"

"Whats that supposed to mean?" Togame scowled. "Was this a trap, y/n?"

"No Togame I swear-"

"No?" Hiragi was bewildered. "Don't tell me you want to sleep with him."

"Of course she wanted to," Togame replied, but there was a hint of uncertainty in his voice. "Why don't you tell your little friend the truth."

Fuck, this is bad. No matter what you said, you were screwing yourself over. If you admitted you wanted it, it would destroy Hiragi and your brother would certainly find out. But if you lied, that would ruin what you've developed with Togame.

Togame took your silence as an answer. "Whatever. I don't need this bull shit." His words were angry, but his face was crumpled with sadness. He walked towards your window, where the fire escape was.

"Togame please wait." You rushed after him, but he shrugged you off.

"I don't like being used, y/n," Togame snapped. "This meant something to me, but if it was all an act for you, I have no reason to be here any more."

"It wasn't, Togame please." But he was already gone, anger and hurt preventing him from listening to you.

You were left with Hiragi now, who was staring at you dumbfounded.

"You actually have feelings for him? For Togame fucking Jo?"

What was the point of lying now? "Yes."

Hiragi made a sound of disgust. "Seriously? He's just fucking playing you. You walked right into his trap. I thought you were smarter than this."

Anger flared in you. "He's playing me. And I know exactly what I'm doing. He's not wha everyone thinks."

Hiragi scoffed. "He's really got you fooled. He's a piece of shit, y/n. Everyone knows it."

"He's not! You don't know him like I do," you insisted. "He's been good to me."

Hiragi searched your face. "These past two weeks... have you been with him?"

"Not... sexually," you cringed. "This was the first time we ever, well..." You explained how you met Togame, without knowing who he was. "We've been in contact since then, but this was the first time it got physical. I didn't plan to feel this way, honestly, I had planned to capture him. But then, I don't know, it just happened."

Hiragi looked utterly disappointed in you. Disappointed and heartbroken. "Ume trusted you with this. I trusted you with this. Hell, all of Bofurin was counting on you to get this done and this is the shit you pull?"

You stared at him, not knowing what to say. Nothing felt right.

"I wasn't enough for you, but Togame was?" Anger bled out of his voice, replaced by pain.

The way Hiragi looked at you then broke you. You never wanted to hurt him. "Hiragi please-" You took a step towards him, but he stepped back holding his hands up.

"Don't. I can't even look at you right now," he replied. "I'm leaving."

You didn't bother trying to stop him. You dropped to the floor when you heard your apartment door slam shut, sobs wracking your body as you felt your world crumble around you.

***

The next morning you woke feeling worse than you had with any hangover. Your head throbbed but, worse, your heart ached. You reached for your phone, finding the inevitable 'we need to talk' text from Ume. He told you to meet him at the rooftop in an hour. Ugh.

You got ready, feeling like you were preparing for your own funeral. You tried to figure out what you were going to say, if there was any way to explain this that made it seem like less of a disaster. You were coming up painfully short. You couldn't stop thinking about Togame, how he looked when he thought you were tricking him. What must he think of you now?

As if reading your mind, you received a text from Togame. He was asking you to meet to talk. You knew you should go see your brother, but what if he kept you on lockdown? You'd never be able to explain things to Togame and he'd go on thinking you used him this whole time.

Umemiya was already mad at you, how much worse could it get? Maybe if you could figure things out with Togame, you could advocate for yourself more to Ume. Maybe you could make him see Togame as you see him. You had to give it a chance

You texted Togame back, saying you'd be there in 15 minutes and set off for the address he sent you. You prayed things hadn't been totally ruined between you two as you weaved between pedestrians on the sidewalk.

If you hadn't been so caught up in what you were going to say to Togame, you might have thought more about how it was odd he was asking you to meet in an old warehouse. You may have noticed that it was oddly quiet as you approached, a stillness that is manufactured by someone trying to make a space seem unthreatening.

But you were so wrapped up in your thoughts of Togame, of your brother, that you were shocked when you stepped inside and found yourself face to face with Choji.

"Hello y/n," he said with a mean smile. You immediately turned to run, but two men jumped out to block the door, aiming guns at you.

Fear flared inside you. Fear and sadness. Had it been Togame who has betrayed you this whole time? You had no time to process this as Choji ordered the guards to grab you.

"Get off me!" You thrashed, trying to get away from their grasp. But they were too strong, too comfortable pressing the gun against your back. You knew you had to comply, to at least live longer. They manhandled you into a chair, tying you down.

"Leave," Choji commanded his underlings coldly. They complied wordlessly. Somehow, being alone with Choji was scarier than being outnumbered. "So you're the infamous y/n? I have to say I'm disappointed." He yawned, as if bored. "I was told you were well trained, but you seem rather weak to me."

You ignored his barb. "Why don't you untie me and see about that."

"Hmmm, I don't think so," Choji replied. "I'm more interested to see how you'll fair against someone else." Choji took out his phone, sending off a text to someone. Moments later, a back door opened and Togame walked in.

"What the hell is this surprise abou-" Togame stopped dead in his tracks when he saw you. The look of fear and confusion on his face was like a wave of relief over your body. He didn't know about this. "Choji what is this?" He demanded.

"I thought you'd be happy, Togame," Choji replied. "I did your job for you."

"It was you who took my phone then?" Togame said. "You fucking lied to me."

"Oh? And you haven't been lying to me?" Choji raised his brow. He seemed calm on the outside, but you could sense anger brewing inside him.

Togame scowled. "I have always been loyal to you."

"Prove it," Choji replied. "Hurt her." Choji pulled a knife out from his sleeve and tossed it at Togame's feet. "Cut her up and I'll believe you."

Togame looked from the knife to Choji to you a decision settling over him. "No."

Before Choji could reply, the entrance burst open as Umemiya and Hiragi ran in. "Y/n!" Your brother cried when he saw you.

Choji pulled out a gun, leveling it at them. "Take a step and I'll blow your head off." He turned the gun to you. "And her's too." The conviction in his voice and the flare of violence in his eyes told you he would keep his words.

"Choji you don't have to do this," Togame stepped forward. Choji swung the gun in his direction, those he looked much less in inclined to shoot Togame.

"What the fuck has gotten into you Jo?" Choji snarled. "Did you forget you answer to me?"

"Come on Choji, don't point that at me." Togame took another tentative step forward. "Can't we just talk about this?"

Choji let out a dark chuckle. "Talk? You wanna talk about how you're going to betray me over some Bofurin bitch?" His anger was seeping out of him, cracking the cold facade. "We've been loyal to each other for year, Jo. And what? You fuck her stupid little cunt and betray me? I didn't know you were so stupid. Or weak."

"Don't fucking talk about her like that." Togame snapped. "I'm not fucking scared of you Choji."

You were watching this interaction in a fearful silence. The air felt charged, one wrong spark and it would erupt with violence. Sweat beaded your forehead as you worried what Choji might do. Not even to you, but to Togame.

"You've forgotten your place, Jo," Choji spat. A mean gleam sparked in his eye. "But I think I know how to remind you." Choji swung the gun in your direction.

You vaguely heard your brother scream behind you, but the world was falling away from you. Everything seemed to be moving in slow motion as the gun let out a loud BANG. Your eyes scrunched shut, your whole body tensing as you braced for the impact, for the pain.

But it never came. When you finally opened your eyes you saw Togame on the ground in front of you, blood seeping out of his shoulder. Choji looked as shocked as you felt.

"Togame!" you cried desperately fighting against the ropes the bound you. Choji fled with a curse as Ume and Hiragi rushed to your side. The second they cut through the ropes you flung yourself down to Togame's side.

"Fuck Togame, why did you do that," you cried. Blood stained his shirt where he was hit. You applied pressure to his wound, feeling the warm blood seep between your fingers.

Togame let out a groan of pain as he shifted to look at you, but grinned. "Just felt like doing the right thing for once."

Tears sprung in your eyes. There was no denying how you felt about Togame and the fear of losing him now was suffocating. "Please Ume, please we have to help him!" you begged your brother.

Ume looked like he didn't quite know what to make of what he saw, but nodded nonetheless. "I already have Hiragi calling for help. It's going to be okay, y/n."

You turned back to Togame, who was breathing raggedly. "If you die on me I'll fucking kill you Jo."

He smiled again. "Wouldn't dream of it, princess."

Help arrived quickly, whisking Togame away. It was Bofurin's special team of doctors, one that allowed us to avoid hospitals in sticky situations. You wanted to go with Togame, but your brother insisted you get checked out yourself.

"I'll be fine, y/n, I promise." Togame squeezed your hand before they slid him into the back of a van.

You were taken in Ume's personal car back to his place. You were quickly deemed fine, just a little scratched up. Ume insisted you rested at his place overnight to make sure you were okay. Togame, he insisted, was in good hands and he'd instructed the doctors to keep him updated.

You slept fitfully that night, only pure exhaustion pulling you into the depths of sleep. You woke to good news: Togame was fine.

"Can I go see him?" you asked.

"They recommended he rest a few days," Ume replied. "You can go then. We have a lot to discuss in the meantime."

You shrunk under your brother's stare. "I guess I have a lot of explaining to do, huh?"

"I would say so."

So you explained it all. How you happened to meet Togame, not realizing who he was until the meeting the next day. How you fully intended to go through the mission as planned, wanting nothing more than to support Bofurin and gain your brother's confidence that you could handle difficult assignments. How you slowly came to know Togame more, finding he was nothing like the rumors that proceeded him.

"I really didn't mean fo this to happen," you explain. "I just... I was scared of letting you down. I know I should have told you right away, but I thought I could figure everything out on my own. Show you I was capable. But I really fucked that up. I'm sorry Ume."

Ume was quite the whole time as the words poured out of you, his expression unreadable. Your heart pounded as you waiting for his response.

"I'm sorry too, y/n," Ume said, surprising you. "All I've wanted was to protect you, but I see that I've gone overboard. I never meant for you to feel like I didn't trust you or didn't you were capable. There's no one I trust more than you, but also no one I worry about losing more."

Hearing your brother's praise warmed you. "Seriously?"

"Of course," he affirmed. "Of course I'm upset that you weren't honest with me, but I can understand why you did what you did... And this stuff with Togame, you really like him?"

"I do." You surprised yourself with how quickly you responded. "I think he's a good guy, Ume. I want you to get to know him like I have."

"I can't lie, the thought of you doesn't make me feel great," Ume admitted. "But I trust your judgment. All I know about him is what I've heard from others. If he is important to you, I wanna get to know him more."

You hugged your brother. "Thank you Ume."

He squeezed you back. "Of course, y/n. We are definitely going to have to talk about this more, but there's someone else who wants to talk to you."

Ume left the guest room he had you staying in and returned with Hiragi. "I'll give you two some privacy." He shut the door behind him, leaving you alone with Hiragi, who was hovering uncertainly.

There was a beat of awkward silence before you spoke. "I'm sorry Hiragi. You of all people did not deserve how I handled this."

Hiragi moved finally, sitting next to you on the bed with a sigh. "Is Togame... is he your boyfriend?"

"No, not exactly," you replied. "I know I have feelings for him and I have a lot to work out with him. But I can see myself with him."

"Were you with him when we... hooked up last week?" Hiragi asked, struggling to look at you.

You winced. "No, I hadn't been with him physically at that point if that's what you mean." You sighed. "I knew I felt something for him, but I thought my emotions were just screwed up. You were comforting and safe, I thought it would settle my mind. I never expected that I would develop really feelings for him. I'm really sorry I dragged you into this mess, Hiragi."

"You know, I kinda thought we'd end up together eventually. Guess I've been listening to Ume too much," he chuckled humorlessly. "I was hurt shocked when I saw you two, but I shouldn't have yelled at you like that."

You shook your head. "No, I definitely deserved to be yelled at. I hate that I hurt you, I never intended that. I hope you know I care about you so much."

Hiragi nodded. "I do. And I want you to be happy and not have there be any issues between us. I value you as friend no matter what."

Tears pricked in your eyes. You didn't realize how scared you were at the thought of losing Hiragi in your life until this moment. "And I want use to stay friends, no matter what. You will always be special to me, Hiragi. Nothing and no one will change that. I hope we both find who make us happy. You deserve that more than anyone."

"Thanks, y/n," Hiragi hugged you tightly. "But I hope you know if Togame ever hurts you I'm beating his ass myself."

You laughed. "You have my permission. Hell, I'll help you if he hurts me... but I think he might surprise you."

"We'll see about that," Hiragi replied. "You rest up, okay?"

You nodded. "Thanks for coming by, I'll see you soon."

****

You woke to good news the following day: Togame was well enough for visitors. He was resting at his apartment, which Ume drove you to. You almost laughed at how absurd this was. Never did you think Ume would be dropping you off at a Shishitoren's place, but the last two weeks have certainly turned your life upside down.

"If you need me to come get you, just give me a call," Ume said as you climbed out of the car.

"Thank Ume." You shut the passenger door and hurried up to Togame's place.

You were breathless when he answered the door, wearing only a grey pair of sweat that sat low on his hips. His body was perfectly toned; a little line of hair disappearing into his sweats. The only thing that indicated he was injured was the bandage around his left shoulder. That did nothing to detract from how good he looked.

"Hey," Togame smiled.

"Hey."

You practically flung yourself into him, squeezing him into a tight hug. You were careful not to hurt the left side of him, but Togame didn't seem to mind. He wrapped his right arm around you, pulling you into him further.

"Sorry for the lame one armed hug," Togame murmured into your hair. He breathed in your scent, perfectly sweet. "Doctor said I gotta let the left arm rest."

Togame shut the door behind the two of you, leading you to his couch. His place was surprisingly clean and organized. "Are you okay? Is your shoulder fucked up?"

"I'm okay." Togame's thigh brushed against you as he sat. You could feel the heat of him even through the layers of clothing. "Doctor said I'm the luckiest man alive. The bullet missed all the important stuff. He gave me some meds to help with pain, so I just need to rest and let it heal."

You let out an exhale of relief. "Thank god... But why? You could have gotten yourself killed? Why didn't you let Choji..."

"I would never have been able to live with myself if Choji hurt you and I stood by and did nothing," Togame answered. "I've turned a blind eye to the shit Choji does for so long, but I couldn't ignore this. It would make me no better than him and I'm starting to realize I want better for myself."

"I'll never be able to repay you, but I hope you know it means the world to me. You saved my life," you said. You took his hand in yours and squeezed it.

"I would do it a hundred times over, if I had to," Togame said. "When he pointed that gun at you, I realized I couldn't live without you."

Your heart fluttered at his words. "Togame, about what Hiragi said-"

"You don't have to-"

"No, please I want you to know I wasn't trying to trick you," you insisted. "I made a joke about seducing you to catch you before I really knew you. It was never an actual plan and I never thought Hiragi would take it seriously. It's important to me that you know that I was with you that night because I wanted to be. There was no motive besides my feelings for you."

The soft smile that graced Togame's face made you melt. "I understand, y/n. I should have heard you out instead of storming out like an asshole." His grin morphed into something more sly. "I'm just glad I lived to hear you say you wanted to seduce."

You groaned, but with laughter. "It was a joke!"

"Sure, sure." Togame's hand was on your thigh, rubbing little circles in the most maddening way. You slid off the couch, nestling yourself between his legs.

"Well, if you're not going to believe me," you ran your hand up his inner thigh, squeezing him through the sweats, "Might as well make it true."

Togame's eyes flooded with desire seeing you on your knees for him. Never did he think he would have the princess of Bofurin like this, but never did he think he would be falling in love with her.

He cupped your cheek, his thumb rubbing over your bottom lip. "I really am the luckiest man alive."

You grinned, pulling his sweats and boxers down to reveal his length. He was long and thick, flushed a pretty shade of pink at the tip. He was already hard by the time you licked a stripe up the underside of him. You swirled your tongue around his fat tip, making his hips stir.

"Don't tease."

You obliged, taking him in your mouth. You hollowed out your cheeks, sucking him in deeper as you bobbed your head. Your tongue teased the underside of him, his cock throbbing in response. He slid his hands in your hair, causing you to moan around him. Togame hissed at the sensation.

"Fuck your mouth is heaven," Togame groaned, his head falling back on the couch. You moved faster, spurred on by his praise. Your hands stroking the parts of him your mouth couldn't reach. You could feel his hips lifting ever so slightly, trying to get further down your throat.

Togame gently pushed you off him. "''M gonna fucking bust if you keep doing that," he explained when you pouted at him. "Wanna do that inside you. Been driving me crazy that I haven't felt you yet."

Togame was helping you to your feel, pulling you to his bedroom. "Are you okay enough to do that?"

Togame scoffed. "Nothing is going to stop me from fucking you right now, y/n."

You blushed as you hit the bed, Togame climbing on top of you. He favored his right side, but over all seemed fine. You were in no position to argue with him.

Togame helped you get your clothes off, admiring your form. "So fucking pretty." He leaned in and kissed your neck. "And all mine."

"Jo," you gasped as he slipped his fingers between your legs. He toyed with your clit as he kissed you. His fingers slid inside your pussy while he sucked on your neck and chest. You were soaked in seconds, your arousal dripping down his fingers. Togame would have liked to prep you more, but he simply could not go another minute without being inside you.

"Need you Jo," you murmured. Your hips were stirring, craving more of him to soothe the ache inside you.

"You got me, angel," Togame cooed. He gripped the base of his cock, rubbing his tip through your soaked folds. You mewled as it nudged your throbbing clit. 

Finally he lined himself up to you, letting out a groan as he pressed into the tight ring of your cunt. You sucked in a breath feeling yourself stretch around him. "Fuck, you're so tight." He slid in and out of you in short strokes, helping you both adjust. "So fucking wet too."

He dropped down to kiss you as he rolled his hips. His strokes were deep and languid, as if to savor every moment. Togame wasn't in a rush to get off, he just wanted to feel your warm cunt around him. 

Your breath was more labored with each roll of Togame's hips. His fat tip hit that sweet spot inside you so deliciously. You rocked your hips up to meet him, your clit nudged by the base of him. Sweet little noises left your lips, driving Togame wild.

"Feel good, angel? You liked when I fuck you like this?" Togame said. He picked up his back ever so slightly, making you body shudder. "Know you do, can feel you squeezing me."

"Please, Jo." You didn't even know what you were begging for, you just knew you wanted more. Wanted him. 

"Gonna make you feel so good," he babbled on. He was losing his patience to take things slow as you wrapped your arms around his neck, playing with the dark curls of hair. "Been dreaming of having you like this for so long."

"'S good Jo," you slurred. "Feels so good." Your body was trembling, desperate for the release you've been craving. Like Togame, its felt like you wanted this for so long. He was good with his hands and his mouth, sure, but ever since that first night you've been wanting this.

Togame reached between you and rubbed your clit, drinking in the moans that escaped you. "Go on and cum for me pretty."

Your back arched off the bed as pleasure flooded your veins. You were writhing as the euphoria temporarily took control of your body and mind. Nothing existed outside of the two of you in that moment. "Jo-nngh."

All of Togame's composure was lost watching you cum on cock while moaning his name. His hips stuttered, spilling himself deep inside you. You felt so warm and full of him as he rode out his high, your name dripping from his lips. 

Togame stayed inside you as he peppered kissed all over you. You giggled, holding him close to you. "You're perfect," Togame murmured against your skin. "I don't deserve you."

You cupped his face in your hands, making him look at you. "You do, Jo. You're a good man." 

Togame smiled gratefully. "I hope I can prove that to you."

"I know you will," you replied. "I know things will probably be a bit complicated right now, but I want to figure it out together."

Togame turned and kissed your palm. "Together." 

No promise ever sounded sweeter.

[treedaddymcpuffpuff]

Excessive Force : Tom Ludlow x Fem Nurse Reader (COLLAB W/ THE INCREDIBLE @johnwickb1tsch) - Chapter One Two Three Four Five Six Seven Eight Nine Ten Eleven Twelve Thirteen Fourteen Fifteen Sixteen Seventeen Eighteen Nineteen

TW: noncon, angst, trauma, PTSD, don’t read this if you like hot doctors named Julian (he was probably an actual sweetheart in canon, but we decided to flip that around in this, so read with that in mind)

You really should have foreseen it, before letting yourself hang out alone in the breakroom. But you are tired–exhausted, actually, and you can only blame so much on the work at hand.

Tom fucking Ludlow.

You find yourself grinning like an idiot at your sandwich–which is exactly how Dr. Julian Mercer finds you, of course. You don’t even fucking hear him approach. He just appears at your side like a ghost, and you nearly jump out of your skin as he says in a low voice, “Y/n.”

“Jesus Christ,” you wheeze, clutching your chest. “Julian…”

“Maybe Doctor would be more appropriate.” It probably would, but you’re not sure if he’s asking for this out of the cold indifference his tone suggests–or that other little extra meaning it has for the two of you.

“Okay, Doctor Mercer. Creep around like a fucking ghost much?”

“No. You were just distracted.”

You blow air between your teeth. You really don’t want to fight with this man right now, but it feels like he’s spoiling for something. “What do you want?”

He takes your hands in his, running gentle fingers over marks on your wrists that have now mostly faded. You hate to admit it–but this careful, questing touch sends a thrill across your skin. “The animal,” he growls under his breath. “Clearly no clue as to what he was doing.”

Hoo boy, was he wrong about that.

“Did you have a safeword at least?”

“No…?”

“Fucking amateur.” 

You don’t know how to tell him, that rendering sex absolutely clinical with boundaries and safewords beforehand just doesn’t do it for you. You just…trusted Tom not to hurt you. And he didn’t. 

“Julian…”

“Doctor.”

“Yeah, that. What do you think you’re doing?” You try to pull your hands away, but he holds on, just firm enough to keep you. Despite what Tom likes to taunt, Julian is not little, or weak.

The look in his eyes is that of a man drowning.

“Losing my mind?”

“You are being ridiculous. You have got to let it go.”

“I’m trying, but I can’t stop thinking about you.”

This is absurd. Men do not lose their shit over you. They use you, then throw you away at their first convenience. You give a fat sigh that you hope conveys your annoyance. 

“Julian, have you seen the women that walk around this hospital? Better, Have you seen the women in your BDSM club? Have you never thought of trying one of those girls out? I mean, they are into the same stuff.” 

His thumb presses on the dark marks the belt left on your wrist, making a little diffuse ache light your skin. “You are clearly into BDSM, y/n. Just the unsafe way of doing it, I suppose.” 

Okay, now he’s just plain pissing you off. Once again, a man insinuating that you’re too stupid and naive to advocate for yourself. Too weak to take initiative, too gullible to know that you have to. You wrench your hand back from him, and he glares after it like it called him a dirty name. “Are you kidding me?” You say, not hiding the bite of your words, “and setting people on fire is just so safe, right? Whipping someone’s feet is the safest thing you can do in sex, yep, boy howdy, you’re absolutely right, Julian. How stupid of me.” 

Your aim is to hurt him with your words, although now you’re regretting it when he looks back at you with those big, brown, sad orbs. Fuck, you can just never win with this man and his multiple personalities. He runs a hand through his hair. “You’re with him, then?” 

“I’m…” you take a breath and try to step outside of yourself for a minute and view the situation objectively, just like you learned to do in therapy, and what you’re seeing is a misguided man who doesn’t know he can bag any freaky woman he wants become overly attached to you because he was vulnerable with you that one time. “I’m not.” How do you word it without sounding pathetic? “I’m not that great of a catch. I promise you there is a much better person out there for you.” 

“I don’t think so,” he says quietly, intensely, sending a shudder through you that freezes and burns all at once. “Do you love him?” 

“What?” You ask incredulously. “I just met him.”

“Well, then, I still have a chance.” 

Your fist clenches unconsciously, ready for a fight. Maybe a metaphorical fight, but a fight nonetheless. “No,” you tell him, swallowing your nice, “you don’t, Julian.” 

“What if…I promised not to punish you?”

This does make you pause, and you swear, not because you’re actually considering it, but because you are surprised he would even think to compromise his needs, for you. 

It’s a heady feeling, if not entirely misplaced.

“No,” you answer, much too late. “No, no, nope.”

“I can see you’re intrigued.”

“No, I’m…flabbergasted. It wouldn’t be any fun for you.”

He looks you up and down, blatantly checking you out. You swear you will never get used to that look in a man’s eyes, trained on you. “I wouldn’t say that.” Then his attention turns back to your wrists, tracing the marks Tom’s belt left again with fascination. “Just let me…do this to you. God, the things I would do to you.” He inches closer as he says this, until before you know it you are standing nearly chest to chest, and your heart is beating at a mile a minute.

You have to try twice, before you find your voice. “That’s exactly what scares me about you, Julian.”

He dares to touch you, turning your face up to his with his palm on your jaw. “That you might like it, y/n?”

You take a deep breath, and you step back, away from Julian. Away from your sandwich too, unfortunately. But you guess you’re going to have to write it off. Or circle back later. You have no further clever quips to offer Dr. Julian Mercer. For lack of a better word–you flee.

At the nurses’ station a bright and cheery reminder of someone else’s devotion awaits you. A happy bouquet of sunflowers, with a simple card that reads, Dorothy, Thinking about you. Glad you’re not in Kansas anymore -T It is just the boost to morale you need, after your chilling little interlude with Julian.

However, you don’t get to take them home. They disappear while you are working, and you think you know who is to blame for the childish act of revenge. Rather than letting it drop, you decide to prove to Julian that you have boundaries and he can’t just push you around like this. 

You catch him as he’s about to get into his car, and get Deja Vu from the scenario. The parking garage isn’t well lit, empty of other humans, and damp with oppressive LA heat. Maybe it’s not the best place to confront a man, but you never claimed to be a complete genius. And, now that you’re here…

“Julian, do you know where my sunflowers went? From the desk? Tom got them for me.”

He looks down at you with dark eyes. “Fresh flowers are a health code violation. I had to dispose of them.” 

And you thought Tom could make you livid; Julian is here proving that he can spike your anger from a two to a ten in one simple sentence. “And what about the flowers you got me that stayed at the desk? Huh? Those were fine, right?”

He shrugs. “No.” 

“So, what the fuck?” You’re raising your voice, feeling the heat of anger singing through the blood in your body like a vengeful choir. Your fist clenches to actually punch him—God, you want to. 

“I’ll buy you more flowers,” he says, as if that’s going to fix the problem. 

“I don’t want your flowers,” you growl, “I don’t want you, Julian!” 

Before you know what’s happening, he has you gripped up in his hands and pressed against the door of his car, mouth on your own, bullying inside to suck and bite and bruise. You try to push and kick and thrash against him, but his long body is pressed firmly into yours, holding you steady against warm metal. His blunt fingers dig into the flesh of your upper arms and make you gasp, which allows him further entrance into your mouth.

You can’t fucking breathe with him latched onto you like this, and your frantic hands reach to tear at his scrubs, his belt, his skin. He pulls away, blessedly, panting and wild eyed, and you immediately start in on him. “Get the fuck off me, Julian.” You writhe in short, shallow breaths, lungs crushed by his heavy torso and unable to entirely fill. 

“This is what you want,” he says, ignoring your demand. “You want someone to take advantage of you. Make you, force you. And if that’s what you need, that’s what I can give.”

“I don’t want that,” you reply. “I want the opposite of that! Get off me! I will scream.” 

His mouth edges into a terrifying smile. “You think anyone’s going to hear you?” He asks, looking around the empty parking garage. “You think anyone’s going to save you if I decide to take you home for a few days and do terrible things to you?” He grabs your chin, fingers spanning the entire bottom, reminding you of the size difference and making you whimper in pain. He presses his lips against the shell of your ear. “Make you regret having nerve endings…” 

Your whole body is shaking violently with adrenalized fear. Sweet Doctor Julian is a fucking wolf in sheep’s clothing, and he’s hungry for your flesh and blood. You should have known. You should have seen this coming. Shouldn’t you be an expert on narcissists and abusers by now? Shouldn’t you have been smarter? Shouldn’t you do the smart thing now and convince him to let you go?

“Please, Julian.” Disgust bubbles in your gut, reacting vehemently to the pathetic, pleading voice that leaves your mouth. “Please don’t.” 

He pulls your chin up a little higher. “You can beg prettier than that.” 

“Please, Doctor.” You swallow the raging hatred you have for yourself. “Please don’t hurt me. I’ll be a good girl.” 

He hums and kisses you temple, lips ghosting into your hairline as he inhales your shampoo choice. “You’re lucky I don’t put you on your knees right here and make you choke on my cock for a while, pumpkin.” 

“Please.” You give him your best impression of a beaten dog with wide, owl eyes, hoping you can somehow get out of this without actually getting hurt. All you can think of is Tom; how you wish he was here to beat the fuck out of Julian, how you should have let him beat the fuck out of Julian on your doorstep. 

His hand moves down, pressing softly into the front of your throat, just enough to make it uncomfortable. “It’s refreshing to see something so wild become so tame with fear.” Fear is an understatement. Pure panicking terror is what consumes you. Bred from C-PTSD and Julian’s heavy, big hand on your throat. You’ve been here before, small and terrified under a man with power… And, suddenly, you’re her again, that little girl trembling and cowering and cornered. You don’t know that you’re crying until a little tear tickles down your cheek. 

He kisses that saltwater trail, peeks his tongue out to taste your sad desperation and shivers against you. “You taste delicious.” 

Fucking Hannibal Lector, Psycho, serial killer. How did you not see it? How? 

It occurs to you that Tom saw it, saw straight through the mask, to the beast beneath Julian Mercer’s carefully constructed facade, all along. He’d warned you, but like the stubborn little idiot you are, you didn’t listen. 

Tom. Somehow it’s the thought of him, how he looks at you like you are precious, like you’re not stupid, like you are something worth saving, that breaks your thought pattern, your desire to just freeze and hope this man with his hand on your throat isn’t going to hurt you, hope that the bad thing goes away if you’re still enough, small enough, don’t draw attention to yourself. You think on what Tom would have you do.

You hear Ludlow’s voice, plain as day, cutting through the fear: c’mon, you have just enough room to fuck him up. 

You drive your knee as absolutely hard as you can into Dr. Julian Mercer’s gonads. 

The good doctor crumbles with a groan that sounds like his soul leaving his body. 

You run. On your shaking legs as fast as you can to your car, barely able to unlock the door with your trembling hands trying to manipulate your keys in the lock. You feel like you’re in a horror film. Instead of being the one yelling at the screen, Don’t run up the stairs, stupid!—you are the stupid girl, and you have so much sympathy for the girl being chased by the Big Bad with a knife and having no idea what to do with your hands. 

No. You are not dying today. You are not letting this monster win today. You are not fodder. You are Final Girl material, goddammit. Maybe you never believed it before, but Tom’s voice is still in your head. You can hear him ordering you what to do. Put in your key. Twist. Open. Get in. Lock the door. 

 You manage all this somehow, just before Juian slams against your window, his face a mask of fury. “Open the door, y/n.” 

Maybe still channeling Tom, and maybe acting completely on your own now, you press your middle finger against the window for him before starting your engine and peeling away. He barely manages to stumble back in time to save his toes from getting crushed by your racing tires. 

[tanadrin]

Imagine one day a new social trend starts spreading. It’s something unbelievably dumb. Not harmful per de, but truly silly to believe. Let’s say, I dunno, healing crystals start going mainstream. Everybody’s talking about their crystals. It becomes impolite to criticize people who believe in healing crystals. They become a big part of people’s personalities, and people on TV start talking about them, and one day years down the line politicians are debating funding for crystal-based medicine. And through it all you are sitting there going, what the fuck is happening. I thought we were all on the same page on this. You want to get along and be friendly and open minded but you cannot pretend to believe in healing crystals, this is nonsense, and when the topic comes up you refuse to lie about it. This eventually starts to have social consequences—they’re that popular!—but what can you do? You cannot pretend a lump of quartz can cure the flu or whatever. It’s just all so unbearably embarrassing.

I think what the centrist/liberal/center-left reactionary turn driven by culture war stuff feels like. And I think the key emotion is probably cringe. Not hate, not fear, though those emotions may reinforce the turn. I think in a lot of cases people who imagine themselves pretty open minded and flexible have as part of their worldview something they thought was bedrock social consensus—on the level of “healing crystals are silly woo”—so bedrock maybe that it didn’t even need to be a conceptual boundary they actually policed in their minds.

For instance, when she started her anti-trans turn, JK Rowling made a big show of not being really anti trans, just arguing that Some People Had Gone Too Far. She wasn’t a frothing religious reactionary, after all. And I believe that’s probably true! I think Rowling probably did have a mental model of sex and gender with a little bit of give in it—of the “we can humor the odd weirdo” type. But as the discussion of trans rights in the UK got more serious over her lifetime, trans people went from “the odd weirdo” to “a recognized minority,” and eventually this ran against a bedrock belief that on some level men are men and women are women and never the twain shall meet. To act otherwise was just too embarrassing. And she wasn’t going to embarrass herself in the name of political correctness.

Other people whose brains have been eaten by the anti-woke mind virus (as @eightyonekilograms calls it) have something going of the contrarian in them, who enjoys yelling “up yours, woke moralists!” or w/e. Im thinking of ppl like Glenn Greenwald here, or Dave Chapelle, people who seem not to feel alive except when people are mad at them. That’s a separate but interesting dynamic. And there are people like Graham Linehan who become totally unhinged through this process of auto-radicalization, moths drawn ever closer to a particular source of validation within their chosen reactionary subcommunity, until they are truly parodies of themselves. That is also an important dynamic, but it’s one that only takes hold after the initial turn has begun.

I think the role of that feeling of cringe, that refusal to entertain an idea because it is too embarrassing (even if it does actually have a decent body of research behind it, unlike crystals) is important to think about, because I am interested in how to get people over it. I know that feeling has affected my own thinking over my lifetime. I wasn’t raised particularly conservative, but I had to learn not to cringe at a lot of feminist thought before I could appreciate it and learn from it. I explicitly didn’t have that cringe when it came to gay people for whatever reason, so it never entered my mind that it might be a problem. I remember being surprised to learn when I was very young that some boys wanted to marry other boys, but my response was “huh. Go figure.” Because for whatever reason I had not picked up that this was something I was supposed to be grossed out by. A general doctrine of empathy, of trying to understand people on their own terms, can help forestall some of this stuff, but it’s not foolproof in either direction—I don’t want to believe crystals have healing powers if it becomes socially popular to do so, just because it is socially popular to do so! And if they do, I don’t want to not believe they do just because it is socially unpopular!

(Obviously the crystals thing is not a one to one metaphor for the trans thing, so don’t read too much into that. Maybe astrology would have been a better analogy. Also I’m not talking just about people whose reactionary turn is predicated on trans issues—I think this dynamic applies to everything from gay rights to the Tridentine Mass. But trans issues are a handy example bc, as the adage goes, somebody posts once about trans people and they never post anything normal again. I think the classic rapid-onset trans derangement syndrome is closely tied to the fact that gender norms are a really deep element of many people’s social-consensus-based worldview, and so challenged to that worldview are felt as really cringe.)

I’m curious if other people who grew more liberal in their thinking over time had a similar experience of having to overcome what was basically a feeling of embarrassment at certain ideas.

[seliasvault]

this popped up into my brain and i decided to write it instead of my paper due on monday

nsfw below, mdni

gym!ghost x reader

tw: pervy simon, mentions of stalking

It was the new year, meaning the collective motivation to be better than the year before was flowing through everyone, including you. The past year had been a whirlwind, and so celebrating the new year felt right.

Like most, you decided this would be the year you focused on yourself, that 3 am motivation to change your life coursed through your veins and so you impulsively bought a gym membership.

You had joined the gym once, trying it out for a couple of days then shying away, all the different equipment required far too much learning and you simply didn't have the time. But this year you felt motivated enough that you would try.

And so on the first day, your membership was activated you made your way over to the local gym, dressed in the new sportswear you had bought the weekend prior.

Parking your car you walk in, a small bag in hand, still unsure what you're supposed to bring to the gym, so you settled with a water bottle and a change of clothes.

At the front desk, you're greeted by a man in his late 40s, he went over the basics, where everything was, how to get in if there was no staff, and the basic rules.

After your introduction you headed to the lockers, securing your bag inside, you popped your earbuds in, the playlist you made especially for today filled your ears, and you headed straight for the treadmill.

Sure it's stereotypical for a first-time gym goer to only use the treadmill, but you just needed to get a lay of the land and so what if that's the only thing you did while you were there, who really was looking?

Simon joined this gym a few months ago, after getting stir-crazy in his small flat, he thought what better way to spend his leave than working out?

With nothing to do, during every leave, he would come to the gym, spend 2-4 hours doing whatever he felt kept his body sharp, then he’d head home, eat, sleep, and repeat. It was a grim cycle, only interrupted by Soap's persistent invites to local pubs and deployment. That was until he saw you.

A normal Tuesday for him, he had been in for roughly an hour when you walked in, it was a small local gym so they rarely got newcomers however because of the new year it was to be expected. He paid no mind, not even a glance at whoever had walked in, and went back to whatever workout he found himself doing.

That however didn't last long, mid lift his eyes caught sight of the shy little thing on the treadmill. One of the only women occupying the space. You were dressed in basic workout clothes but he'd never seen them look better on anyone. He could tell you were shy, unsure of your surroundings by the way your eyes darted around the room, taking in every machine, each person.

You were trying to acclimate yourself and wasn't that cute. A slight smile played on his lips but he didn't let it last long, going back to finishing his set.

He continued his workout, observing you at every chance he got, and by the end of the hour it looked like you had enough and were headed to leave. He watched you wipe the sweat off your forehead with the back of your hand, his mind thinking about you wiping your mouth the same way after he'd filled it.

He mindlessly shot up to follow you.

After an hour on the treadmill, you decide that was more than enough for one day, especially your first day. And so you wiped at any sweat gathering on your forehead and headed to the locker room.

The gym had showers but you weren't too comfortable using them just yet. Though this gym was uncrowded, it consisted of mainly men and you were unsure how you felt about that.

You open the locker, get your stuff, and close it, only to be startled by a man you hadn't heard come in.

"Sorry! Didn't hear you come in." tensing immediately, you nervously laugh. He was at least 6'2 maybe 6'3, towering above you.

"S'alright didn't mean to startle ya'" His reply was smooth, voice deep. "It's no problem." You give him a smile, standing awkwardly, unsure of where this interaction was going.

After what felt like a couple of awkward minutes, he talks again.

"Just wanted to introduce myself, Simon Riley, saw your new 'ere and thought having a friend might help." He gave you a soft smile, one that seemed genuine, not like the countless creepy ones you've received during your short time here, and so you relax, just a bit, thanking god that he wasn't fully a creep

"Oh thank you! that's really nice of you, it'd be nice to have a familiar face."

"Since you're new, how about next time you’re in I'll show ya' around, show you the basics, help ya' out? Couldn't help but notice you stuck to the one machine, nothin' wrong with that just might be better to see what else is there yeah?"

Your cheeks heat just a bit, you hadn't clocked anyone staring at you, but then again you hadn't noticed him when you initially surveyed the area. You were still weary but the offer sounded good enough, nothing too bad.

"Uh-yeah sure! That sounds great actually, thank you, Simon."

"S'no problem, see ya' next time." He doesn't so glance back, abruptly leaving. You wondered how he would know when you'd be in next, considering this gym operated on a different days for everyone basis. But you shoved that aside, he probably had one of the fancy passes that allowed him in whenever, and based on his body, it's safe to say he was here often.

With the interaction over you push the slight heat creeping up on you down, leaving to head home for a hot shower.

Simon couldn't have imagined that going any better, he didn't quite realize what he was doing till it was done.

The moment you opened your mouth he swore he hardened right there and then, the sweetest voice he'd heard. He knew he intimidated you, saw the way you were weary, a couple of his best-mastered smiles and he had you relaxing into his grip.

Who else was going to protect you against the number of creeps that littered the gym?

And the way you said his name? He couldn't let you go after that.

If he broke into the gym computer to find your billing address, what days you come in, and your number, who's to know? And if he finds out everything else he can about you, like your name, birthday, social media, and access to the cameras he's discovered outside your house, really it's just a matter of getting to know you.

And so what if after a couple of weeks of coming to the gym, the panties you bring with you start going missing?

Simon's bleak life's been given a mission, that mission being to make you his.

[dark-frosted-heart]

Roger's Wicked Birthday - 1st -

The story's in his POV. As usual, can’t guarantee 100% accuracy on this

Nsfw. Awkwardly translated smut.

They say that something predestined, something that cannot be changed or avoided, is called fate.

Being born male, female, or otherwise.

Where and when you were born, how long you'll live and when you'll die, all of these seem to be predetermined.

I've always been looking for a way to fight against all of that.

--

Roger: Hey, Jude. Cut back on those cigarettes. You don't know when those lungs of yours will fail.

Jude: Quit yer yappin'. Are ya my mom or somethin'?

Roger: Don't remember givin' birth to an arrogant, swearing bastard like you.

As I walk away after finishing up Jude's regular check up, my ears pick up the hustle and bustle of the dining room.

Roger: Huh? They're bein' awfully noisy.

As expected, when I entered the dining room, I found Harrison listening to a distraught Liam.

Roger: Hey, what's up? Did somethin' happen?

Liam: Kate isn't back yet so I want to go look for her now.

(The little lady?)

Roger: Calm down... You're not gonna find anything if you run out in the dark.

Harrison: Yeah, Roger's right. You were the last one to see Kate, weren't you Liam?

Liam nods.

Jude: You were supposed ta be watchin' 'er. Why'd ya let 'er go about as she pleases?

Liam: Tomorrow's Roger's birthday so we went out shopping to celebrate in advance. I thought about dressing up a bit and doing some stuff that'll surprise Roger.

Harrison: Liam, I now there's something you don't want to tell us, but now's not the time.

Liam: After we finished shopping, we parted ways near Leadenhall Market. Kate told me to go home first because she wanted to buy something in secret.

Harrison: Where'd you and Kate part?

Liam: At a bakery called "Harmony". Around there.

Harrison: If it's around there then...flowers, huh?

Liam: Flowers?

Harrison: Did she go by herself to get flowers for Roger?

Roger: Me?

Harrison: Yeah. There's a popular flower shop in alley where Liam and Kate parted ways. She probably knew about it.

Jude, who was quiet this whole time, muttered something troubling.

Jude: Tha's right, there's been some strange incidents lately. The naïve princess must've gotten mixed up in it. That woman (the queen) must 'ave some kind of info. Maybe.

Roger: I'll go get Victor...

--

There's been some kidnappings recently where Kate was now alone.

All those kidnapped were women, and those who were lucky enough to escape only had their hair cut, so it seems like they were kidnapped to sell their hair at a high price.

Based on the information from Victor, it was decided that Crown would search several hideouts of the criminals.

Harry and I ran through the back alleys of London in the dark.

Roger: ...? Hey, Harry. I can hear a man...and the faint voice of a woman through this door.

Harrison: May that's it. Let's go.

The man's voice gets clearer as we head down the path leading to the basement.

Men with guns and knives gathered in the dark.

(I see. So a bunch of thugs were kidnapping people)

Bearded man: After our watch is done, let's go for a drink- Huh, who're you?

In the dim light, Harrison and I exchanged glances. In times like this, a liar and traitor's quick thinking is useful.

Roger: Don't be so guarded. We're your buddies. We thought we'd take part too.

Bearded man: Huh? What're you on about? We'll lose our share with more people.

Harrison: Don't be like that. The police have been sniffing around lately.

Bearded man: The police...?

Harrison: We got contacts in the police. I got info on how to escape them.

Man with a gun: Hey... Wouldn't it be better if we brought them in?

Roger: Oh, we got a right to choose though. Let's hear some details about what you guys are doin'.

Bearded man: It's simple. You kidnap a woman to sell her hair and if she gets out of line, you kill her. That's it.

Man with a gun: In this day and age, a corpse has some value so it's like killing two birds with one stone.

(Yep, these are definitely the guys. Can't mess this-)

(0)

Harrison and I fire at the same time.

Criminal: Guh...

Roger: What's up? You're bein' unusually aggressive Harry.

Harrison: Yeah, wel... Anyway, I'll take care of the rest. You go ahead.

Roger: Yeah, I'm on it. Can't help but hear Kate's voice in my ear. Don't die Harry. Bringing you back will be a pain.

Harrison: Gotcha...

I head into the darkness, the sound of gunfire behind me.

(Multiple female voices...One of them...sounds like Kate)

I thought Kate would be sobbing in fear-

Kate's voice: -ight... It'll be alright. Help will come. It'll be alright...

My ears picked up Kate's voice, who was assuring the other women with her.

Roger: Geez... You're even worryin' over others in a time like this.

I run and run toward the voice, open the door in the dark, and head up the stairs.

Muscular man: Hey, who're you- Gah?!

I shoot and kill the criminals that come at me as I keep going.

(Found her...)

Among the women bound in rope is Kate.

Kate: Roger...

(Why're you trying to smile at a time like this?)

(You're not fooling anyone...)

As I go up to her and cut the rope with a knife, I notice flowers that fell at Kate's feet.

Roger: ...

Seeing them, I impulsively-

I held Kate tight in my arms.

Roger: Are you hurt?

Kate: Nothing serious. Just some scratches...here and there.

It's so like her to not count scratches as injuries.

Roger: I see...

Kate: I was sure...

Roger: Hm?

Kate: I was sure that Crown...that you would come and save me.

Kate knew about my curse as the "treacherous huntsman".

Still, she believed in me and fought against fear and anxiety.

(Damn. You're so cute and brave)

Roger: You're my birthday present, got it? Not letting anyone take you away from me.

Kate: Got it...

Kate's body starts trembling as if finally letting go of all the pent up fear.

I pat her back as if soothing a baby.

Roger: Scary wasn't it...

Kate: Yeah...

Roger: You did your best. You were great.

Kate: ... Roger... I-I...

Kate bawled so loudly that I couldn't help but smile.

--

After taking care of everything, I brought Kate back to the castle and tended to her wounds.

Kate: O-ow. It hurts...

Roger: It's supposed to hurt. Otherwise this wouldn't be moxibustion.

Kate: I'll accept it...

Maybe because she was still feeling guilty, Kate endures the pain without a fuss.

As I watch her in amusement, a thought appears in the back of my mind.

It's said that those cursed will meet an equally tragic end.

That's a solid conclusion I came to after years of researching curses.

(That's what's supposed to happen to us)

(I wonder what Kate's fate's like)

Kate's a curious woman who's aware of the fact that the world isn't pretty, yet still retains some purity in her heart and eyes.

Even those in Crown with strong personalities seem to be moved by her.

(A miserable fate doesn't suit Kate)

A long life's better than a short one, better to be surrounded by people than alone, and a warm place's better than a cold one.

(The kind of fate that suits someone who's able to smile so peacefully)

It was out of character for me to think of that for Kate who trusts others so easily.

Roger: Alright, done.

Kate: Thank you so much. Sorry for bothering you so late. Then...

Roger: Hey now, who said you could go?

Kate: Huh?

Roger: The treatment's finished, but the punishment isn't, little lady.

I sit down next to Kate on the bed, who makes a sound in her throat.

Kate: Punishment...

Roger: Thinking you'll get an answer right away just by asking's a bad habit of yours. Ask yourself why you're getting punished.

I whisper in her ear as I swipe my thumb across her lips.

Roger: I won't stop until you get it right.

Kate: Um, uh...

Kate jolts when I nibble on her ear before capturing her lips.

Kate: Nn...Roger...

(Soft as ever...)

Roger: Mm...Come one, answer me.

Kate: Because I got hurt...?

Roger: Wrong.

Even after releasing her wrists after kissing her repeatedly, Kate lets me do as I please.

Kate: Nnn... Hm? Ah...

(Hmm, not runninn'? Ahh...you obediently did as you were told)

The way she accepts my kisses while thinking fills me with sadistic desires and I hook my fingertips on the neckline of her dress.

Roger: That's it, think about it.

Kate: You don't need to tell...Ah...

Her breasts spill out as I pull down her dress and my lips are on her.

Roger: Hm? Givin' up?

While licking a nipple, I tease the other with my fingers.

Kate: ! I'm not...

(Ah~ That's a good look. You look so frustrated...like you're about to cry)

Kate: Ah...Is it...because I wandered off on my own?

Roger: Nope.

Kate: Huh...Ah....

I roll the peak in my mouth and Kate lets out a faint gasp.

(I'm disgusted at the thought that other men did that to her...)

I continue to suck and nipple as I slip my fingers in the wetness between Kate's legs.

It was already so wet and like with her nipple, I flicked her bud with a finger.

Kate: Ah...Nngh...Roger...

The moment I saw tears welling up, the irritation I felt within me finally subsided.

Kate: I...give up...

I grab Kate's chin and look at her as she muttered in frustration with tears in her eyes.

Roger: Hey, Kate.

Kate: Yes...?

Roger: I can't stand it when others make you cry. I'm the only one allowed to do that...Right?

Kate: Ye- Huh?

(What......................)

Roger: What's up with that response.

Kate: I just didn't expect it... I'm...not Roger's or anyone else's!

Roger: Then why're you squeezing my fingers so tightly?

Kate: That's because...Ah...I can't...

Roger: I'm not gonna last so let me enjoy your tears for a little longer.

Kate: Ah...wait...Roger

After that, I made Kate cry out a lot before having her finish me with her hand.

Satisfied, I went out for a drink with Jude.

Using my birthday as an excuse, I made him buy me a drink.

--

(I drank too much last night...)

I was lying on a sofa in the lounge with the aftertaste of alcohol still lingering when I felt a shadow over my face.

Kate: Roger...? Are you dead?

Roger: I am. So what do you want with a dead man? I'm not taking any complaints about last night.

Kate: It's not that. I have something for you.

(...?)

When I sat up, Kate shyly held out a bouquet.

Kate: Happy birthday Roger. Also... Thanks for being born.

Roger: O_O ...

(Wha...)

(Thanks for being born... That's the first time I've heard it since my curse)

(Kate...Only you of all people would say that without any hesitation)

Kate: Roger? Um...I went shopping with someone this time?

Roger: Haha, I know. Thanks...

Kate smiles happily like a puppy.

(Her crying face is the best, but her smile- it suits her)

Her smile's so cute that I can't but want to tease her again.

Roger: Hey, Kate. I must've fallen for you if I'm always thinking about you right?

Kate: Excuse me........ I-I don't know!

Roger: Pfft, hahaha. How cold.

After that, while I was walking with the bouquet Kate gave me, Victor suddenly told me what those flowers meant.

Anemones meant "fleeting love".

Kate probably didn't know what the flowers she gave me meant, but it's ironic.

My fate's a future ruined by guilt.

The worst fate lies before me, but I'm not gonna let it get me down now.

Trampling on fate, I-

Roger: Now, let's fight against it again today.

[velvetvexations]

If the parallels to ace discourse weren't enough already, now I once again have to deal with people i thought were chill and reasonable suddenly dropping their takes on how they think asexua- sorry, I mean trans men, are not really oppressed and actually have privilege over everyone else and are basically not queer at all Time is a circle and i want out out oUT OUT OUT

Thankfully you never have to worry about me having a bad take because everything I say is written in advance by the Transmasc Council's Chief of Enacting Transmisogyny.

I don’t know if this is transmisogynistic or not but I’m just so tired of the claim that “the moment a trans man transitions and is seen as a man, he gets all the privilege” Okay TRFs, what about YOUR privilege before YOUR transition? When people perceived you as a man, did you not have privilege?

The logic would go that transmascs get it because they want to be seen as men but for trans women it's an unwanted state and also people can sense that they're women telepathically and treat them accordingly anyway.

Hey wanna hear something fun. Out of the 77 or so people elected to public office in the united states, 6 or so were trans men. With the majority being trans women. It's so fun hearing about how structurally privileged trans men are compared to trans women when there's only been 6. Fucking SIX. of us elected to public office. with at LEAST 50 trans women elected. In the united states. I'm so fucking tired. I mightve miscounted, there mightve been one or two that I missed, but honestly that does not bring me much comfort!

Fascinating.

sharing this here bc i like how accepting velvet nation is of gender journeys: i am a trans man but i feel like i very much was and will continue to be my father’s daughter? not in the sense that he doesn’t respect who i am but in the sense that that is the framework of how we understand each other. my gender is 100% man and daughter is simply the word i use to define our relationship :)

That's really cool! Glad you have that with him.

Got my first profile-screenshot-share (afaik) because someone was pissed at a comment I made! I’ve hit the big leagues! Now im just waiting for my first drowning :P - @genderglass (is a sideblog, so I can’t send asks from it :/)

Congratulations!

hiya velvet! ok 2 things: 1 i am happy to know there is another trans person who is tall and 300lbs+. i am only 5'9 but it made me happy to know this is a thing we share. i can feel v alone as a bigger trans person a lot, so i am grateful. 2 ok so i havent seen unsleeping city yet but i just watched the new time quangle and my god murph grew cody walsh in a lab for me. hes literally me at 12. jersey native with an "emo haunting anime cons in 2004" look and personality? that was literally, genuinely me. gotta watch that season ASAP!

I should warn you Cody gets dunked on pretty hard. It doesn't feel to me like Murph likes him very much lol but I haven't watched the Quangles because I'm a lot less interested in live stuff on average aside from Jake and Amir's live IIWY episodes which are always real funny.

In the defense of the person saying the t4t sex jokes are sexual harassment. I HAVE seen people responding to transfems posts on here talking about (supposed) intercommunity problems with jokes about how actually transfems and transmascs are having sex or whatever, which I think is kinda gross and inappropriate. However, most of the examples I can think of were transfems doing it, so.... take that as you will

TRFs complaining about "trans women and trans men are fucking" being sexual harassment and then justifying throwing their forcefem fetish at random men is funny, in a cosmic sort of way.

i just saw -*- say that trans men face no oppression unique from trans women (wrt reproductive rights) bc trans women lack access to reproductive banking. Buddy. Reproductive banking is incredibly expensive and very rarely covered by insurance. Everyone except wealthy ppl lack access to reproductive banking. And I'm sorry if this is rude to say but lack of access to the opportunity to become a parent (which is sad! and wrong! and at different levels applicable to every queer person in the world!) is simply not equivalent to forced pregnancy, which is a violence and a trauma forced onto someone and not a *lack* of opportunity. I don't even disagree necessarily that trans women are more vulnerable than trans men and do believe I have privilege over trans women as a trans masc but hoooooly shit. That's an insidious fucking false equivalence and I still don't get *why* trans mascs can't just have space to talk about the problems unique to us.

The Transfem Council will happily let you talk about your issues as long as you submit your statement in triplicate to their editorial department 15 days in advance.

Everyone posting about how I have to prove myself and earn their trust is just proving themselves to be someone not worth talking to. I don’t think people should have to bend over backwards or do something to prove that they won’t be terrible to you, actually. Thats fear and trauma speaking, not social courtesy. It’s not normal and should not be normal to automatically distrust everyone to a point of prematurely ostracizing them. And if anyone wants to argue a large enough proportion of the trans community in ANY demographic acts poorly enough to warrant that sort of suspicion they don’t have a leg to stand on.

It's not even fear and trauma. Most of them are just using Literal Fear of Man as an excuse to do this shit, although if they want to argue no, they really are all just shaking with abject horror whenever a man draws near, I guess they must believe in Andro Phobia, right?

[im-gonna-explode]

I have been having many thoughts about Tamaraneans since I did their little redesign, so I decided to make a full post about it, with shitty visuals

I probably should’ve made these digitally but I didn’t want to set up my computer

Anyway, let’s begin with the canon

I’m gonna preface this with the fact I got all my information from wiki pages so I could be completely and entirely wrong

Anyway, we know Tamaraneans are aliens from the planet Tamaran, obviously. They all have golden-orange skin and solid green eyes, and in older comics they were depicted with all sorts of hair colours but recently people have only depicted them with the same red-pink hair as Starfire.

Culturally they’re very emotionally driven people who seem to put love above all else, and because of that they have a lot less rules about how one is “supposed to” love compared to humans. They’re also amazing warriors despite not having much for war or battle on their planet.

Now onto all the stuff I made up because I was bored, I’ll start with all the biology stuff I did for the redesign

According to the wikis I read Tamaraneans are supposed to be descended from an alien cat species, so I decided I wanted to highlight this fact more by giving them more cat-like features. I also felt like it’d be weird if they could only have one colour of hair, so I decided that they can have damn near every colour, but it always has a gradient to it. (And yes, I understand it’s just as weird for them to only be able to have one skin and eye colour, but I imagine they can have different hues and what not, but they’re always in the golden and green range respectively)

I also decided it’d be fun if their skin kinda sparkled, not like a twilight vampire, but when you look at them under a good light you can see it glimmers slightly, which is why their skin is compared to gold. I just added this because I thought it was fun, I had literally no other motivation.

Anyway, cultural stuff

This one is really brief because I already like how their culture is written

I mostly wanted to go into gender stuff, because I felt like it’d be interesting if they just had a completely different concept of gender, so I made their outlook on gender very neutral. Men, women and everyone else are all considered equal, and people changing genders isn’t seen as strange or terribly out of the ordinary.

I feel like they also have a whole bunch of genders and sexes beyond the normal male and female, like a bunch of types of hermaphrodite and and all sorts of literally alien concepts and pronouns, just to confuse the majority of humans. Some of them are probably similar to the ones we have on earth

I think that’s about all the thoughts I had, sorry about my handwriting, and sorry I probably didn’t write this very well

To finish this off I’ll just show you a bunch of random Tamaranean designs I made

[severeprincesheep]

I do feel sorry for Neil Gaiman fans because I too have been disappointed in artists that have meant a lot to me. I guess the reason why I've never been a fan of this particular author is because, as far as I can tell, he's mostly a children's author and I'm too old for kids' stuff. it's just not fair for an adult to engage with children's entertainment and then complain when she doesn't like it. Why would she? It's not for her demography. As long as the children love it that's what matters.

But I am qualified to say that judging from the clips that I was exposed to on Tumblr Good Omens is pure religion propaganda disguised as LGBT empowerment.

I am thinking specifically of that scene where Jesus is apparently being crucified and the devil is visibly disturbed by the violence - why? He's a devil and Hell is supposed to be a horrible place of endless torture perpetrated by devils just like him. People were crucified to death by Romans all the time, this was a very common thing.

The angel tells him that humans are killing Jesus simply for having asked them to love one another, that's all. And the devil says "Yeah, that'll do it", as if anyone has ever been crucified for this reason. Let's give ourselves some credit as a species, please.

First things first

1 - Jesus is a fictional character, not an historical figure, and God doesn't exist.

2 - In the New Testament Jesus is crucified for challenging the authority of the Romans when He says that He is God made flesh and that God is the boss of everything, including Judea. The Romans can see He is gathering quite a following of fanatics who will do anything He says, so they crucify Him like they typically did IRL to those who opposed Roman authority. That's it.

And finally

3 - Jesus did not invent the concept of loving your fellow man, but He did invent threatening people with Hell everlasting if they did not accept Him as their Messiah. You could be the best person ever, who's done nothing but wonderful things all your life, but Jesus is only impressed if you believe in Him, if not you're going to Hell, out of spite presumably; but also because the authors of this fairy tale really wanted to force you to believe in their made-up fictional character as a real thing. This is intellectual terrorism and no one has the right to do this to you.

Good Omens was an all out, masks off, only too obviously transparent religion propaganda that told lies to children... but that's ok, because Neil Gaiman the famous author and rapist brought it to you and packaged it in the form of a gay couple, one of whom was David Tennant, on steroids - the guy who said he doesn't like black women talking too loud.

Wow, another male gay couple for girls to adore - what is this, only the 465723554657 time that I've seen this on TV so far? What an irresistible proposition for Tumblr girls who can never pass up on the opportunity to virtue signal their support for the LGBT community.

But only if it's gay men, that's well understood. Being an LGBT supporter is only virtuous if it's in reality a thinly disguised support for men. Women will always be up for it with slavishly abject devotion, and men would sooner die than support any woman or any female couple whose love by definition excludes them and their sexual desires.

[sleighhethereal]

abandoned oc's for camp camp. they're supposed to be new campers with my teen!AU- but lost motivation i guess?

the full body references is them supposed to be teenagers, but they look 11 with advanced bodies lol

➢ the story i made up for them was that they were all adopted as babies from different families by a once-loving couple— that had a falling out, leading to them being left at an orphanage.

➢ they hated it there. they stuck with each other and just bullied the adults that weren't fond of them.

➢ these three are kind little troublemakers, something like the original trio in camp camp (Max, Nikki, and Neil).

➢ however, they don't just go causing it whenever they want, unless they have a reason.

➢ when they were very young, many adults tried to adopt them. but numerous times are all failures since most adults wanted only one of them, and that resulted in the eager parent's pants going missing and their car painted in different colors.

➢ wonder what did that, hm.

➢ though, they're very giving, affectionate, and fun to be around when you set aside the chaos they start from time to time.

➢ if you wanna learn each of their personalities, or just appreciate art, then press more ⤵

➢ Jolene is the most responsible of the three.

➢ she sleeps at reasonable times, makes schedules, knows her manners, and shows respect to most adults (at least those who respect her too).

➢ she cares deeply for her siblings, and sets them straight if they're doing stupid shit.

➢ she has a good reputation being the goody-two-shoes and she uses that to her advantage sometimes.

➢ thinking her voice would resemble Alessia Cara (Jane from The Willoughbys or her normal voice really, she's so soothing to listen to🙏🏼)

➢ Jazlyn is the perky one, always energetic and giddy. she's the first to introduce herself out of the three.

➢ she's quick to make friends and quick to lose them too, since she can be too much for most people.

➢ she treats everyone equally, unless they're an asshole.

➢ very oblivious and runs into stuff without thinking much of the consequences. she's very apologetic, however, and willing to make up for her mistakes and learn.

➢ thinking her voice would resemble Erika Henningsen or Taylor Louderman (referencing Charlie from Hazbin Hotel and the song Little Miss Perfect)

➢ Jesse is the most protective, and severely loyal to those he trusts.

➢ he's sort of a mix of the two sisters— he's responsible like Jolene, but forgetful. he's chaotic like Jazlyn, but knows when shit gets real.

➢ he's the one starting fights, always taking the first punch. he's known for his anger outbursts.

➢ he's emotionally intelligent, spending his time mostly around women and rarely around men- stating that they're way more complex (which is a joke... or is it?)

➢ thinking his voice would resemble Wayne Brady (reference is King Dice from the Cuphead Show, probably not as dramatic though but the more i listen to it, the less i disagree)

[velvetures]

May I RQ a reader who is trying to learn their language to help them feel more comfortable, but feels insecure due to them not really being fluent? They mispronounce and misuse the slangs in context, but hopes they can make the boys see the effort they are trying to go through for them.

Lessons In Miscommunication

A/N: Hi doll, I hope you don't mind me using König for this one. I've got a lot of experience with Spanish irl, but that's not super applicable here, haha. To anyone who's German... please forgive me. 🤍 Summary: You're on comms during a mission getting a small lesson in König's language while waiting for your next orders from HQ. Things get complicated, and there's a language and culture barrier that makes things... challenging. T/W: canonical warfare, cursing, non-fluent use of German, flirting, feelings, and some other stuff probably. Not proofread, as always.

To put it simply, you didn't expect just how difficult it would be to learn a new language in your twenties. Sure the science spoke to the provable trouble you would have compared to a much younger version of yourself, but for all meaningful purposes, you really didn't think it would be this nuanced. And while Spanish, French, and other languages were of great importance, there wasn't anyone who could teach you those. The one person around was König, and he spoke German.

When you'd approached the topic nearly eight months ago, he'd been honestly shocked and surprised that you'd come to him in the first place and secondly that you thought he would be a good teacher. He was often thought of as reliable as a Colonel, but giving you suitable enough tutoring in German to be conversational was nothing short of uncharted territory for the pair of you. This made for very interesting moments in and outside of missions as well as a few times where it would've been better if you'd used an online app or something to keep from unintentionally embarrassing yourself.

Posted almost two miles away from the Colonel on a rocky outcropping overlooking a small encampment of a radical terrorist group, you laid on the hillside with a rifle and radio trying to pass the time between now and when you'd get the call to secure the site. The men and women down below were only one small stop-off point for a far larger caravan of armored trucks and a few tanks carrying supplies and weaponry toward the closest city of Almazra. It was a threat that couldn't come to fruition if the buildings and people still living there were to be left standing by the end of the week.

On the other end of the two-mile distance was König and a selected squad of men who were waiting just as impatiently as you were to not only get this mission over with but to get out of the damn desert heat. For security's sake, you knew you should be keeping the airways clear for any kind of information about the insurgent's movements, but König had insisted that this would be a perfect opportunity for you to get some practice in without losing focus of the task at hand. Your job at the moment was to keep eyes on the encampment through the lens of your sniper rifle and report anything that looked to be of importance.

König's definition of what was important could be easily debatable, yet it did ensure that you could make simple connections between real-world objects and the German words or phrases that matched. Whether or not the Colonel realized it or not, both of you had slightly gotten off the target of what you were supposed to be talking about and wandered into the more... personal aspects of things. Specifically just how bad you wanted to be home after nearly a full month away from American soil and your personal home.

"Ich habe für immer Fernweh," Your accent was certainly progressing, at least in the Colonel's mind, but he wasn't quite sure exactly what you meant by that.

"Was meinst du damit? Kannst du es dieses Mal auf Englisch sagen?"

His voice sounded a little confused and more than a tinge humored at the way you'd sounded so... formal. Even diplomatic to a degree. It was one of the more difficult parts of teaching you. Dialects, slang, and even simple English-to-German translations didn't always have a very direct or clear answer. Often it meant that you would say something with full intention and innocent honesty, and König would have to keep himself from chuckling. Most of the men he worked alongside didn't speak for one reason or another, so getting to hear at least one person -especially you- made the near and far miscommunication more than worth the effort.

Looking through your scope at a group of five sitting around a small fire, you sigh a bit, trying to think of how to explain yourself.

"I meant I'm feeling homesick," You mutter a little more quietly than necessary, almost as if saying it in English was broadcasting your secret while German somehow kept it from being found out. "What did you hear me say?"

König chuckled, his laugh vibrating in the speakers of your comm quite nicely. "You said you have wanderlust forever," You could hear him smiling from the other end. "It's okay, sometimes the words don't always mean exactly what you think they do. I had the same problem when I learned English." For a moment he paused, laughing softly again. "I still can't say Squirrel... properly."

"Vielleicht habe ich doch Lust auf etwas..." You mutter a bit frustrated and somewhat skarkily under your breath, making a small jab at wordplay not thinking that König could hear you over the radio or that he'd be more shocked to hear you say such a thing.

The radio stays silent for a long few minutes, almost tricking you into believing that you'd been safe in making your comment under your breath without any audible witnesses. Only on the other end, the Colonel was struggling between the actual meaning behind your words, the way it sounded so damn sexy... and how he was supposed to actually answer you without sounding too affected by something as simple as your voice.

"Se-Sergeant..." His voice sounded a little weak, much in the same way it did when he was in an uncomfortable social situation. "What did you just say?"

Instantly your body tensed up from fingers to toes and you felt a shock of heat roll through you. König heard you. Right away you assumed by the growl in his question that you were going to be in for some kind of punishment. Maybe even a good ass-chewing in front of the rest of the squad for saying something so easily considered lewd and totally unprofessional to utter in the presence of a superior officer. Your best bet was apologizing, and hoping he'd just let it go...

"I'm sorry, I was just frustrated and-"

His voice deepens over the radio, almost like he's got it pressed right up against his mouth. "Say it again." The command felt heavy in your stomach. "Now."

You repeated the phrase, staring through the lens of your scope with bated breath. waiting to hear what the Colonel would say in response. And the last thing you expected was to hear an almost pained sort of growling sound vibrating in your ears. It made you shiver and despite König being almost two miles away, it felt like he was breathing down your neck.

"Du klingst so hübsch, wenn du das sagst..." A noticeable static over the radio took your attention, but when it didn't get worse you had the mental capacity to translate what König said word by word until you had the full sentence running through your head.

The time between his praise and your response was nearly indistinguishable between seconds and years. Had it not been for you watching your targets moving in real-time through your scope, you would've thought the whole world had come to a stuttering halt in anticipation of your response. Yet it seemed that the world still had to do other important things which included bringing the key turning point of this mission right to your front door with the sudden sound of an approaching squad tailing the convoy of insurgents giving information and callouts for how to proceed forward. Of those, orders for König and his men to begin working down the side of the mountain to intercept the meeting of the convoy and the small ground sitting in tents around a high-burning fire.

"Ich werde später herausfinden, wie hübsch man klingen kann, wenn man schmutzige Dinge auf Deutsch sagt." The Colonel's voice growled lowly, almost threatening in a sense.

There was no telling what would happen after the mission ended and there wasn't a threat of being shot or failing to secure Almazra. What you could count on was König finding you and testing out his theory of all the things you could say in his language they may or may not have been provocative - on purpose or not. Something in your body shivered in delightful nervousness and anticipation of just how he planned on getting that kind of information out of you. A couple of ideas swirled in your mind, but the movement of the incoming convoy didn't allow you the luxury of daydreaming about your Colonel or how your mistaken words and German lessons had landed you here.

Comments and Reblogs are Always Helpful <3

[olderthannetfic]

https://www.tumblr.com/olderthannetfic/740284683556929536/

Omg I'm so sorry! I wrote that anon when I was sleepy so it had very ham-fisted wording. Yes, I meant to ask about portraying self-esteem issues about bodies. I thought guys don't talk about it much.

To that one person, why would dudes comparing dick sizes be considered smut? I can see it being rated M. Are you suggesting the rating go up to E?

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Ahahaha.

Uh... anon... if that's truly what you were trying to ask... I think maybe you need to work on your writing a bit more. The vibes you give off are odd, to say the least...

Like, creepy pervert angling for foot fetish photos while lying about what they want-level weird.

It sounds like you want to heavy-breathe while reading guys' descriptions of their own penises, not like you want help with writing.

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The reason your ask reads so "She breasted boobily down the stairs" but from the other side is that guys, at least from what I've seen, do not stand around comparing their dicks, at least not in the way you implied.

The people who most commonly compare their junk out of curiosity are toddlers.

This is something tiny children do. Anecdotally, some teens do it, but a lot don't, and there are clickbait articles about athletes sizing each other up this way, but they are just that: clickbait. I'm not saying it never happens, but you wrote about it like it always happens.

It is fucking weird to have a grown-ass man routinely doing it outside of maaaaybe some weirdly homoerotic scene in a stoner comedy or something.

People joke about this practice because it's a thing that exists, not because it is ubiquitous.

That's also why it reads like porn. IRL, if some dude is like "I think we should compare our dicks... uh... and they should be hard so we can compare properly", many other guys are going to interpret that as sexual. And also self-deluding. Which is a good reason to say no.

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Most people in locker rooms and public bathrooms try to give each other a little privacy if they can, regardless of gender. Openly ogling is what you do if you're about to proposition someone for sex. Or, if it's hostile, you stare because you're about to beat them up.

I'm not saying a guy couldn't sneakily see the size of another guy's junk and have a response, but the whole way you described this sounds like you've never spoken to a human before. Did you seriously get this idea from those clickbait articles?

Among other issues, penises become erect. They look different in different states of arousal. Surely, you've heard of "growers vs. showers"? Temperature also matters. There's a whole fucking bit on Seinfeld that everyone quoted for like years and is probably still quoting about "shrinkage"—i.e. a guy is insecure that someone saw him when he'd just gotten out of the pool and his dick looked small because he was cold. Hopefully, the locker room isn't that cold, but you still don't know what a dude's dick looks like all of the time from catching a glimpse of it one time.

So an adult man who is not completely unfamiliar with penises is not going to 1. openly stare at another man in the locker room and 2. look only at his penis and have some crisis about "Mine looks different".

I suppose for the right character in the right circumstances, you can sell any kind of goofy-ass reaction, including the "breasted boobily" stuff where women think consciously about their tits in a way that actual women generally don't and male authors love to write. But you have to make it a whole Thing. She has to have some reason why her nipples are super sensitive today and thus she pays attention when she normally wouldn't.

Instead, you keep asking these dumbass questions like you're 12 that boil down to "Literally all men are the same cardboard cutout based on their D&D stats from this character sheet. Please tell me some facts about these stats!" instead of approaching people as individual humans who all react differently. You haven't even said anything about what kind of culture these characters come from. Both personality and specific culture (not just big things like nationality but shit like whether they're athletes who change with the same guys all the time) are going to affect how and whether men talk about self esteem and bodies.

You're boiling this down to "What does the penis-having alien species all do?" despite already getting several answers that told you to stop doing that. You either didn't listen or didn't understand what people meant so badly that it's pointless to keep giving you help.

This is not a good way to write three-dimensional characters.

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Now, I'm not saying nobody has ever snuck a peek in a locker room. Lots of people, regardless of gender, do that. But we're talking covert looks and that kind of looking gives you glimpses of many body parts and not always a very clear look either.

Most actual men on most actual days of their lives are going to feel insecure about their bodies relative to someone else because the other dude looks better at the gym or grows chest and facial hair more easily or is much taller or isn't going bald.

We love to make jokes about penis size, but in my experience, the level of perpetual crisis dudes have over potential baldness is way higher. There are a shitton of ways to be insecure about yourself and your body. That goes for any gender.

Maybe a dude feels insecure because the other guy is much less body-conscious and has an easier time changing in front of people or because he's paid five times as much and is changing into a thousand dollar suit.

Many of the markers of masculinity and attractiveness have very little to do with penises.

There's also a vast difference between your POV character thinking some other dude's huge package is admirable and your POV character thinking he himself is inadequate. He could think his own dick is average and that it would be nicer to be hung like a pornstar without being insecure about it. He could also have a big dick yet still be insecure about it because he's a weirdo who's obsessed with penis size. He could be a size queen who wants to take a ride on that. He could have an ex girlfriend who thought big penises hurt and be creepily fascinated and wonder whom this guy fucks and how they manage.

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All this shit is a character point. Stop treating it as immutable truth where someone can give you the Correct Answer™ for you to slot into your writing or spank bank fantasies.