#or they are deliberately thrown away etc etc

[kimmkitsuragi]

bro i just found my old pen case covered with gaga stickers KSKKSDJFH

[cosmicjoke]

So I haven’t read chapter 52 of “Saezuru” yet, but I did read the summary of it on twitter, and after having a conversation with one of my mutuals, I have a few thoughts about what it is Yashiro wants, and why he’s having so much trouble communicating it to Doumeki. 

First of all, Doumeki himself still seems very hesitant to treat Yashiro with the gentility that they both want him to give, and obviously this stems from what happened the last time he did, with Yashiro pushing him away.  You would think, okay, well, this has an easy solution.  Doumeki wants to treat Yashiro with kindness, and Yashiro genuinely wants to be treated kindly, so all he has to do is tell Doumeki that, and problem solved.

But of course it’s not that simple, and after talking about it with others, and reading about how, during their sex scene, Yashiro was thinking about the Madam at the club, and how Doumeki treats her so gently, it got me thinking more about Yashiro’s difficult relationship with the idea of being treated as a woman. 

Yashiro wants to be treated with the same care and tenderness that he perceives Doumeki to be treating the Madam with, and the belief that Doumeki is deliberately treating him differently than that, because he’s a man, and because he is who he is specifically, (someone who’s always been treated with cruelty and told, indeed, that he deserves to be treated cruelly), is clearly very painful for Yashiro. 

The thing we have to remember about Yashiro is that, during the years he was being sexually abused by his step-father, he was being told by his abuser that he was really a woman, that his being born male was a mistake, etc...  And we see how this later affects Yashiro.  Afterward, whenever he was treated like a woman, or how he perceived a woman should and would be treated, anyway, he got spooked and made an effort to get away from that treatment.  Like Hirata’s underling whom Yashiro got thrown out of the Yakuza after he started treating Yashiro like his girlfriend, or Yashiro’s dissmisiveness when Ryuuzaki asked him about whether he ever wished he’d been born as a woman, etc...  I think Yashiro associated being treated kindly and tenderly with the memories of his abuse, and therefor, that kind of treatment was very traumatic to him.  It’s why we see Yashiro, during his and Doumeki’s sex scene from chapter 26 (I think, lol), crying and seeing an image of himself being raped by his step-father.  It’s why he freaked out so badly afterward and ran away.  Yashiro realized that he LIKED being treated gently, but it reminded him of what his step-father said to him about him really being a woman.  I think, in that moment, when Yashiro realized he wanted and liked being treated kindly, it was like a confirmation for him of everything his step-father claimed about him, that he was really a woman, that him being born male was a mistake, etc...  In that way, it was like a confirmation of every negative, cruel, vicious thing his step-father ever said and did to him.  An affirmation of Yashiro’s own, negative view of himself. 

I think Yashiro’s experience in middle school with the girl he has sex with sort of reinforced Yashiro’s views about women too, and how they’re supposed to be treated, versus how he thinks men are supposed to be treated.  When he tried getting rough with that girl, she started crying, and Yashiro immediately stopped and lost interest in her.  He realized she didn’t want to be roughhoused.  Subsequently, I always point to this incident as proof that Yashiro isn’t, and never was, a sadist.  A true sadist would be turned on by another person’s pain and fear, but Yashiro had the opposite response.  He was turned off by it. 

Yashiro realizes, after his first, sexual experience with Doumeki, that he, like that girl, doesn’t actually enjoy being hurt during sex, doesn’t enjoy being roughhoused and mistreated.  That of course was a coping mechanism he clung to to deal with his trauma, convincing himself that he wanted to be mistreated and hurt to defend against the reality that he’d been horribly vicitmized.  He realized, in that moment with Doumeki, then, that he was more like a woman than a man (just like his step-father claimed), and so for Yashiro, admitting that he wants to be treated with tenderness is tantamount to his admitting that his step-father was right about him.  This is why, I think, he’s still having such a hard time admitting to Doumeki what he really wants.  I know certain people in this fandom are impatient with Yashiro and demanding that he just confess his feelings already, but they forget just how traumatized Yashiro really is, and what it is he’s dealing with. 

It’s obviously going to take a bit more, or a lot more time before either Yashiro or Doumeki can fully open up to one another, and for Yashiro specifically, it’s going to be a lifelong process, being able to accept himself and what he wants without also feeling ashamed or guilty or wrong. 

[egg-emperor]

If/when Eggy finally scraps orbot and cubot for good, do you think he'd show them the superior bots that he's replacing them with (and bragging about the superior bots superiority while calling robot and cubot Useless), just before he scraps them, just to twist the knife?😈

He was clearly already very into threatening them with the idea of replacing them to immediately knock them back into submission and obedience all along lol

And now that Sage is a thing, I can imagine it's getting worse for them already as he practically already unintentionally replaced them as when she exceeded all expectations, he quickly expressed enthusiasm to assign her to many major tasks they would've previously managed

So they're almost out of a job already aside from like the awkward things like being called to the bathroom/bedroom to assist him or give his special massages etc where they have to see him nude lol with Sage in the picture

She's appealing to many of Eggman's needs and much more enthusiastically and earnestly than they ever did, so she's much more reliable to him and praised by him of course. Plus there's the greater appeal for all the pride he can take in her for being an impressive creation that he truly feels is reflective of his genius just like he longed for in the prequel comic

He could never say the same for poor Orbot and Cubot, who he feels put a stain on his image more often than not for how often they set off his short temper, disappoint him, and need much more forcing and threatening into doing a lot of things. Their typical antics are specifically what made him wish for something to be proud of above

Sage, seeing them as family, may hope that Eggman changes his mind on how he feels about them but he knows she'll still remain loyal to her beloved father, even after any disappointment if he did it. Not that it's not a concern to him in the first place anyway because he always does what he wants and that won't change for anyone at all XD

So he may already be very close to replacing them without even needing to make more robots first, the more he finds Sage and Metal cover most areas for him! Aside from those early things he still makes them do. I can imagine even if he's already immediately constantly putting them down in comparison to Sage every time he praises his golden child

He could make their replacements quickly because both quality and quantity matters and he needs some for those more awkward intimate tasks and he'd be sure to brag about how much better they are at serving him too, but especially Metal and Sage as his very best. Really rub it in to make them feel like inferior useless disgraces in comparison

Or maybe without even making their direct replacements yet, he'd tease by telling them he'll use their parts to make better and superior robots that replace the very last of their little purpose and use to him left, will reflect his genius, and treat him the way he should be. "I'll replace you with creations I can actually be proud of, like Metal and Sage!"

And he'd also cruelly emphasize that he's definitely not going to use their data banks/minds if he repurposes them to make these new robots he boasts of creating because they're only good for their parts. He wants to make it hurt, make them feel like the trash they'll become when they're torn apart and thrown away, unable to feel anything at all

Oh this cruel bastard. Him being proud and happy with his newest shiny toy makes him either totally ignore and abandon, deliberately treat his older obsolete creations like shit to make them feel inferior in comparison, and/or even scrap them entirely. You may be happy for Sage's promotions but poor Orbot and Cubot have to suffer for it!

[lilzezthenyan]

minor infodumping about my House MD-Good Omens AU <3

House is a demon with a snake motif, Wilson is an angel with an owl motif (why he has the grey streak)

No one knows that they’re supernatural beings. they just think they’re Like That™ (waving their hands and shit happens, casually references bible lore despite neither supposedly being Christian, etc.)

House doesn’t get the infarction, but rather as a punishment from Hell, an ice cube of Holy water was pressed into his thigh, giving him a limp. The cane was just a fun addition - he the technically doesn’t need it

He’s had it for a long, long time, but it was manageable. It was just a scar. In replace of the infarction, is was the same punishment but enough to permanently disfigure him and make him feel pain. Vicodin does nothing, it’s just for the high, which does distract from the pain. He tries to miracle his pain away only for it to come back a few hours later

They met several millennia ago at a bar (or the equivalent), and then they just kept meeting that way ‘accidentally’ at several bars over the years until Wilson landed himself in jail and House graciously bailed him out (but not without relentless bullying)

In the 1600s, Wilson got thrown in jail for witchcraft (people witnessed him fling a bottle at someone's head without touching it). This is what truly kickstarts their friendship

They’re both fascinated by human medicine and it’s advances, so they both pose as humans through out the centuries to learn all they can under various names

If you really tried, you would be able to find all the doctorates and PhDs they’ve both collected over time

House created the concept of privatized healthcare

The plot is pretty similar overall, but Wilson’s patients tend to live a little longer than estimated, and House’s patients are more miserable than ever while being treated

They have an ongoing bet on who can get the most "you’re such an angel / you’re an absolute demon" by the end of each decade. Wilson is obviously winning

To explain why House has slits as pupils, he says it’s coloboma, where the iris of the eye is broken, leaving what looks like slits as pupils

Wilson physically has to restrain himself from miracle-ing away cancer (in case Upstairs gets suspicious), so he instead briefly extends his patients lives and gives them a little more luck on the side

Occasionally, House will just disappear instead of walking away. He thinks it’s funny

House has a similar relationship with his motorcycle like how Crowley does with his car. So, whenever Wilson rides with House, his motorcycle deliberately drives slowly

House and Wilson choose to present masculine most of the time, but have presented feminine in some instances. For example: Wilson really liked 1950s dresses, House liked 1980s women's fashion (because of the denim)

[harocat]

'Xiang Liu deserves Xiayao'

'I would have picked Xiang Liu'

Put aside shipping for a moment and actually look at the interaction between them that Xiayao sees. All his noble sacrifices, except when he saves her after the fire? She's not privy to.

And they're wonderful, and his story is beautiful, but how do any of them show that he would be a good match to her in a long term relationship? And certainly how could Xiaoyao have chosen XL based on them when she didn't even know about them? It's also not grand gestures that draw her; it's loyalty and companionship. Xiang Liu could not provide that. He can show her every beautiful thing in the world, but he can't and won't give her what she actually desires.

The idea that someone 'deserves' someone in fiction is kind of a strange take as is. I don't think it makes for good writing to treat a romantic partner as if they're a prize. In the immortal words of Princess Jasmine, Xiaoyao is not a prize to be won.

Saying he deserves her, or she should have picked him also misses the fundamental tragedy of Xiang Liu and frankly the meaty, fascinating parts of his character. Neither is true, because there is not a manner, in this universe, where he would have ever been a choice. He would not have allowed it. He spent good times with her as FFB, and yeah, he could not resist flirting, but genuine romance was never on the table for him because of HIS decision.

And consider their direct interaction. He is frequently rude to her, frequently cruel to her. This is deliberate on his part later on; he is trying to push her away (early on it's just him being like that though). But whether deliberate or not, why would someone who does that be her 'deserved' partner, the one she should choose?

She says he's not fit to be in any girl’s dream not because he's a demon, but because he has broken her ankle, whipped her, thrown her hundreds of feet off his bird into the water, sucked her blood in a manner that is shown to be very painful several times, etc. The early cruelty for cruelty's sake, instead of to push her away, was during her Wen Xiaoliu days as well, so the idea that he specifically deserves WXL is... hmmm...

And this isn't me arguing that XL and XY are problematic or something. It's clear that the message we are meant to take from his story isn't 'he's too evil to be her boyfriend', but 'he made the choices he did to pursue his life's mission, and because of that, he pushed her away.' Cruel to be kind.

But to say he deserved her, to say that YOU would have chosen Xiang Liu so you don't get why she didn't? It just... it really misses the point of their story. In his tragedy, he was never a choice at all.

[doberbutts]

I have to tell you I adore you and all your fabulous fur babies!

I would like to ask if you can talk about your experience being on t, specifically the mental and emotional aspects of the hrt process. I have read a lot about the physical changes that happen, but I don't see anyone talking about how your personality, mood, energy, etc. change.

Thanks!

Hey thanks!

Honestly while there is a lot of misinformation regarding what testosterone does to your emotions, I feel lucky that my endocrinologist never really said anything except that I may feel wild mood swings or have trouble controlling my anger in the first few months as my body and mind adjusted to the new swing in hormones.

This is pretty normal for any hormone you take- when you first start, you may find yourself experiencing mood swings and feeling emotions more intensely. That's why kids deep into puberty tend to be, um, a bit out of control with their emotions. It's also why this happens again as you age into your twilight years, when your body once again changes its hormone output and can set things a bit out of whack. Or if you get pregnant. Or if you start hormonal birth control. Or if you take a steroid for something not even sex hormone related. Messing with your hormones can seriously throw off your grasp on your feelings and moods.

But the good news is, it's not permenant. By the time you're 5 months in, you should start feeling more like "you" again, unless your dose changes for whatever reason. And, even better, the "you" you feel like? Usually is a much more mentally happy person.

On a personal level, I didn't have random fits of anger. Which is interesting, because I have a documented anger problem that I have taken anger management for because I have had black-out rages [usually inspired by one of my sisters deliberately hurting one of my pets] [for instance she swung one of my pet rats at the wall by the tail like she was going to kill him and the next thing I know our mother is pulling me off of her as I'm pummelling her face with my fists on the ground and I do not remember the in-between] [I'm not sorry, fuck around and find out, don't hurt my animals and I won't hurt you] [also this sister sent me to the ER in a previous fight where she'd bodily picked me up and thrown me through a window so like. Don't feel too bad for her that I finally snapped and gave her a taste of what she constantly did to me]

In fact, I've had *multiple* people who know the "before" and "after" tell me that I'm much calmer and more emotionally steady than I've ever been. And that I'm happier too. I also used to anger-cry a *lot*, pretty much any time I got angry I'd also cry, but that also stopped happening so now I don't really get angry and when I do I don't cry about it.

I would say anxiety's probably about the same but depression is much better. Compared to who I was before leaving my hometown vs now, I can confidently say that I no longer consider the odds of whether my shower curtain rod can hold me for long enough. I'm much better at recognizing when my mental health is getting bad and when I need to take a step back. I get stressed and I can go "okay, I need to break away from this before I completely lose it" well in advance. Which is great! Mental stability and joy and security for the win!

I will say I don't really cry anymore. It does occasionally feel like I'm not really able to. One of Creed's songs came on and I teared up and my throat got all fuzzy but I think only one of two tears actually came out, vs losing him pre-T we're talking ugly cry scream-sobbing in my [now-ex]'s arms. Which, yes, some of it is just distance from the grief since it was two years ago. But also I've never been so in control that I only cried a literal couple tears' worth. Usually the waterworks start and then take a long time to end.

[sopuu]

I would love to hear your thoughts on the symbolism and game design of omori

This is suchh an old ask im sorry it took me so long to get my thoughts tgt let alone write them down hh everything’s under the cut bc there’s a Lot and tysm for enabling me 🙏🏻

just a heads up I’m not gonna talk much about the characters themselves bc there’s already plenty of analysis out there for them- what I am gonna get to tho is the general game itself and a bit of the music. And bc OMORI is a game that covers heavy topics, please be aware of this before you continue reading!

So ofc I gotta start with the first place omori wakes up in — white space, just a simple rectangle on the floor with the essentials within arm’s reach, no responsibilities and no one to bother you. I LOVE minimalistic stuff like this- something so simple can can make you feel like you’re in both the most peaceful and uncanny place in the world. Also the black bulb being a symbol of repression, opposite of a lit bulb being a symbol of a new idea (thank you fandom wiki for this point) is just 👌🏻. And the fact that omori’s friends are right next door (literally called neighbour’s room) if he ever gets lonely shows how they’ve always been there for him, and in turn how much he depends on them.

I think the game does a wonderful job of depicting what escapism is like- Daydreaming of a world full of your own ocs, adventuring through it with your best friends and being the hero of the story where everything goes right for you. But of course this fantasy can’t hold forever as the real world starts to catch up, with stuff like Something appearing in places reminding omori of what happened, red space entrances throughout the story (the ones before the main red space debut as omori sits on the throne), and ofc the moment basil drops the photograph at the start. Side note, I like how Something always disappearing so quickly shows how desperate omori is to repress it, like quickly shoving problems under a rug. Or maybe im reading too much into it and it’s just to add to the creepy factor lol. Also this is one of the games that does mixed media SO well- combining digital 2d art with real life materials like sketching and scanning the animations, clay models for Somethings, real life photos drawn over and filtered etc, it really suits the theme of having to balance the fictional world and the real world if that makes sense. Also the way some scenes deliberately leave in the crumpled paper texture!! Especially for messages about not friends giving up on each other-- its almost like those were thrown away in the trash and picked back up again. Quite the parallel to how sunny locked himself away for four years due to depression and guilt for what he’s done, thinking his friends would never forgive him, then eventually finally coming out of his house and giving himself a chance with reconnecting with them.

Ok here’s where the heavier themes come in so please please stop reading if you’re not comfortable with them! [tw: suicide (or at least implications of it)]

game design time! i absolutely love it when games use the game mechanics themselves to be a part of storytelling- and this game does it with the stab function. I actually got to know this game through watching playthroughs, and at the first forced transition usually people do whatever they can think of to avoid having to press the button, before very reluctantly realising that they don’t have a choice. As the game goes on, players start getting more and more familiar with it, using it to get back to the real world or bc of forced resets and so on. Before long this basically becomes routine and players get so used to it that they don’t even hesitate to press it anymore. After all, nothing bad actually happens, right..? This mechanic gets used so much more in black space, but this time it’s very prominently presented as an escape route, something to get out of stressful situations, something that helps. you might even be relieved to see that option be available to you. And I think that’s terrifying— considering that this is a representation of how.. unpleasant thoughts can go from being unfathomable to something that feels like a natural/normal occurrence. i don’t think I’ve seen any other game that captures this kind of thought process(? there’s probably a better term for this) to the level that OMORI does and im so so glad that the devs are bringing these mental health topics to light.

I’d also love to talk about black space but I think this post does it better than I ever could haha, also black space 2 I love you sm im a sucker for out-of-bounds-but-not-really type of areas (yknow like Undertale’s fun value rooms and test rooms), it’s like hitting the jackpot for easter eggs and subtle lore aughh <3

And I can’t talk about OMORI without talking about the music!! I think we can all agree that Duet KILLS. the high notes as the happiest scenes show on screen………the way the piano is the one that starts the song off and it ends with only the violin……… my emotions man. what if I started crying!!!!! (i did)

Clean Slate is one of my top songs- there’s so much emotion in this and it’s the epitome of acceptance and letting go of guilt while also giving the feeling that you’re in a hospital (ig that’s kinda the point but for such a short song to pinpoint a feeling AND setting so accurately is so grragjgh….)

Other big favs are It Means Everything, Chaos Assembly, Tee-Hee Time, Puddles, Snow Forest and Dear Little Brother :) and actually a lot of others as well but id be listing half the soundtrack and more if I go on

In conclusion OMORI is such a well designed game, I love it and its messages sm it means a lot to me personally, and writing this made me feel like im back in English class again

[tickle-bugs]

hi so. uhm. I know requests are closed but I have bad memory problems and know I probably won't remember this if I don't send it in now so I'm just leaving this here for you to find later. again, apologies. blame my stupid brain jaja. anyway yeah uh sorry this is so long now its awkward uh I just wanted some kylo ren headcanons please? he's my favorite and there's literally 0 tickle content of him anywhere so I'd really appreciate it. <3

hey there! i accept headcanon requests pretty much always (so long as they're in one of my current fandoms), but prompt requests for fics are closed. so you're good! im also team memory problems. it's part of why i'm away from here so often. so i empathize <3

let's assume this is a zuko-esque au where they rehab Ben like a particularly troublesome shelter cat and he's able to regain the trust of everyone else. Like Finn's arc but more hardcore considering *gestures to Kylo's backstory lol*. HCs under the cut!

okay first off...he has a really nice smile. when he smiles with his teeth, his eyes crinkle at the corners. his whole face warms and he kinda ducks his head. naturally this means he would rather be executed than ever allow a living soul to see it

his laugh sneaks up on him. he's all about maintaining control and composure but unfettered joy always just blows past his defenses. He's a "HA!" and then silent, muffled laughter kinda guy <3

idk why but i feel in my spirit that if he giggles, he hiccups. its rare for him to giggle but i think he gets stuck in it and its cute.

part one of ben rehabilitation project: getting this guy some normal clothes. he starts dressing more casually. he's still like an awkward, angry duckling, but he seems much more approachable. He washes his hair (poe sources good curl care for him to get some volume back in that mop)

For the first while of defecting to the Resistance, he's sorta a dark shadow. Doesn't talk, doesn't leave his room, etc. But as he does start to follow Finn, Poe, and Rey around, he does notice their closeness. The casual touch. He envies it.

It takes a little while, but slowly Rey starts including him in on jokes. Finn and Poe are slower to forgive, often making jokes at his expense, but...Ben's treacherous flares of temper start to subside. He gets used to quietly listening and smiling but knows better than to assume he's included. Shadowing them becomes a gift.

Ben's not sure when Poe and Finn start talking to him and acknowledging he's there, but he absolutely does notice Poe jabbing him in the ribs for not 'paying attention'. He passes it off as being startled but he can feel Rey's mind hovering at the edge of his own, keen as ever, like Ben Solo I Know What You Are (ticklish)

Finn, Poe, and Rey deliberate for a week about how exactly to go about this (Ben gets cagey. why are they whispering?) and eventually Poe is just like. look. i've got credits on this. you ticklish?

i am team 'Ben goes completely red when flustered'. just top to bottom imperial red. Poe asks him this and he turns into a fucking tomato. gives the world's most unconvincing no. and it is Rey who (very gently) proves him wrong, thus opening the floodgates to bully him over time.

Ben gets used to Poe's arms thrown over his shoulders, Finn leaning on him, or Rey tucking herself into his side. He literally never gets used to the tickling fingers seeking softness he thought he'd long crushed away

he gets very good at paying attention to a briefing while slapping way/wrestling with Finn, Poe, AND Rey's hands. laser focused.

Ben is usually a teasing voice on the sidelines when the trio gets up to tickly shenanigans, but i am a HUGE fan of Poe getting comfy and talking shit and Ben just looping his arms under Poe's and holding him for Finn and Rey to go to town. To win Ben's favor is to win a tickle fight. Finn is very good at this. Ben sides with him bc its the funniest option (and Poe's dramatic, betrayed gasps are the best).

He is so good at reading people and so specific in teasing. Such a scary ler but also very funny? He's very deadpan and witty. It's always unexpected. his parents really shine thru in him when he's up to mischief

Rey and Ben engage in long distance Force warfare that literally always ends in one of them slumped against the wall giggling. Finn learns to manipulate the Force and things get wild lol

Ben's palms are ticklish. I know this to be true.

He is fucking impossible to take down. Finn, Rey, and Poe have to tactically coordinate to ambush him. He's got a sixth sense for their bullshit. But! once he goes down he just kinda deflates. One person is the designated 'hold Ben's wrists' guy bc he always tries to hide his face

big fan of Ben giving Rey piggyback rides. Rey is a spider monkey to me. 50/50 Ben starts tickling her knees or Rey starts tickling his ears and they both collapse

love the idea of these four always being physically connected. esp since Ben is the tallest (i think). hes taking a nap and the trio just panini presses him into the mattress. their dogpiles always end in laughter or the best fucking naps ever. sometimes both

[alonetogether]

hey ur answer to that ask last night (abt 27 being abt nowhere to go but death while i am my own muse shows a growth & healing, channelling that aggression spiral into music) is making me a tiny bit insane. Has anyone unpacked how i am my own muse straight into 27 kind of like. reframes 27 itself. pete + other members talked a long time ago abt how pete spent the entire year he was 27 in a haze, and how ppl legit thought he was gonna die; a whole year of his life spiraling w/ nowhere to go. and now looking at it in the context of i am my own muse (LIVE DEBUT!!!! THEY DELIBERATELY DEBUTED THIS SONG ALONGSIDE 27!!!!!) with the lyrics "got to throw this year away / we've got to throw this year away / like a bad luck charm" right into 27. i wonder what year is being thrown away. i wonder what memories they're implied to be moving past. throwing away the bad memories that have stopped hurting anyway tour of healing i'm going really crazy over this sorry if it's already been said also this is much longer than i thought it'd be sorry for the rant

GOD youre so so so right anon now youre making ME crazy in turn holyyyy shitttt... can i ALSO add that i always saw "smash all the guitars til we see all the stars" as such a like folie era/into hiatus era line too like they all got to breaking point, they were all in such a haze and destroying what they once saw as something sacred to them.. 27 to muse itself is soooo. theres a reason stardust seems like such a new era for fob cause it IS they are working through trauma especially from those pre-hiatus years and accepting that they had to destroy what they had to come back anew etc. so so much happened last night and this 8ball combo is probably one of the top things that is making me so crazy too. im right here with you anon

[haggishlyhagging]

The power of presence that is experienced by those who have begun to live in the new space radiates outward, attracting others. For those who are fixated upon patriarchal space it apparently is threatening. Indeed this sense of threat is frequently expressed. For those who are thus threatened, the presence of women to each other is experienced as an absence. Such women are no longer empty receptacles to be used as "the Other," and are no longer internalizing the projections that cut off the flow of being. Men who need such projection screens experience the power of absence of such "objects" and are thrown into the situation of perceiving nothingness. Sometimes the absence of women that elicits this anxiety is in fact physical. For example, when women deliberately stay away from meetings, social gatherings, etc., in order to be free to do what is important to ourselves, there is sometimes an inordinate response of protest. Sometimes the absence is simply non-cooperation, refusal to "play the game" of sex roles, refusal to flatter and agree, etc. This too hints at presence of another space that women have gone off to, and the would-be users are left with no one to use. Sometimes, of course, the absence of women takes the form of active resistance. Again, it throws those who would assume the role of exploiters back into their sense of nothingness.

In this way then, women's confrontation with the experience of nothingness invites men to confront it also. Many of course respond with hostility. The hostility may be open or, in some cases, partially disguised both from the men who are exercising it and from the women to whom it is directed. When disguised, it often takes seductive forms, such as invitations to "dialogue" under conditions psychologically loaded against the woman, or invitations to a quick and easy "reconciliation" without taking seriously the problems raised. Other men react with disguised hostility in the form of being "the feminist's friend," not in the sense of really hearing women but as paternalistic supervisors, analysts, or "spokesmen" for the movement. Despite the many avenues of nonauthentic response to the threat of women's power of absence, some men do accept the invitation to confront the experience of nothingness that offers itself when "the Other" ceases to be "the Other" and stands back to say "I am." In so doing men begin to liberate themselves toward wholeness, toward androgynous being. This new participation in the power of being becomes possible for men when women move into the new space.

-Mary Daly, Beyond God the Father: Toward a Philosophy of Women’s Liberation

[aishu-no-melody]

Can you please talk about Roy Mustang for me? I'd love to hear your interpretation of him? What do you think of him in 03 vs brotherhood/manga?

Ok grab a snack lol.

So to preface I have to say that I don't like Brotherhood in general and my opinions on that play a part in my opinion of Roy. He's my absolute favorite character like I have a VHS tape from like 2005 where I took my sister's VCDs and literally took up half the tape of a Roy montage lol. But these are my opinions and why I think he has the superir portrayl in 03.

Keep in mind though I have seen Brotherhood once, havent read the manga in years, but ive seen 03 and COS SO SO SO many times.

So I feel like the overall theme of Brotherhood is "military and armestris good. Ishvalain immigrants bad." And the military in 03 is painted so much differently. It's more realistic and they drive home the point that the military fucked up and show us that Roy really has not been a great person. I mean in 03 we see him try to kill himself twice over the fact that he's killed so many people and especially he's haunted by the innocent children. When he kills Winrys parents he realzies hes become so absolutely immoral and rotten that he has killed his own people and gets turnt and tries to take his own life. He's shady, there's that scene where he threatens to blackmail child Edward/expose him and Al (it's early in the season but I can't quite remember what for) yet he tries to shelter them from how harsh reality is. He thinks by becoming Furher everything will be okay now, he will be forgiven, and the country will be better. Long story short he has his own agenda that sounds great on paper but in reality, at least in the first like half of the series, is impossible.

The growth of his character in 03 is huge and they kind of stealthily plant the seeds early on. He's no longer gunning for the position of Furher because of his own selfish reasons, he's actively seeking revenge for Hughes which makes him start to unravel.

Obviously the character of Pride/Bradley deviates from the source in 03. Actually all the homonculous and their personal foes are directly related to the people they're fighting. Edward/Sloth etc. The whole relationship of Bradley and Roy and also the characterization of Bradley as Pride is very deliberate - Roy fights Bradley and is severely wounded/almost dies fighting Pride. The entire series Roy has so much pride and so much of an ego that it's destroying him. He is literally forced to face his own deadly sin and to kill his own ego.

Ultimately he kills Bradley but in doing so his life unravels and he does not get to be the hero, the savior, the one that fixes everything which his pride previously convinced him he was capable of doing. In COS we find him isolated, depressed and a shell of his former self, waiting for Edward to return, crippled and alone. Even by the end when he saves the day in the fancy little air balloon, he still cannot protect Edward and looses him forever. He looses absolutely everything and the director of COS even said in some kind of interview or something that after the movie Roy still would never hold the same power he once did and have that same respect. So at the end of the day - he has thrown everything he's ever had away for good because of his pride. He has no happy ending. He redeems himself to the viewer (unless you're me and the second you first see him go 😍 zaddy I can fix him) but by then he is too far gone - he is both an awful person and a martyr. We know his heart ultimately is in the right place by the end but his war crimes and atrocities still exist and his failure is still very evident. If you've never seen it, look up the 10 of Swords tarot card - while I'm pretty sure they did not purposely do it, the meaning of the card and ESPECIALLY the imagery of the original card is so so accurate and I think the best summary of his character. Look up Labyrnthos or something like that their summary of it is the best.

So I feel like in 03 he has far more depth and his character arc is so, so, much richer.

To discuss this I also have to get into his relationship with the Elric brothers, mainly Edward. He and Edward are parallels of each other - both of them are arrogant and oblivious and in trivial pursuit of righting their wrongs, when in reality there is nothing they can do to rectify either situation or take back the damage they've done. Roy obviously does care for the Elric brothers but does not know how to show it properly and ends up hurting them more than helping them, he basically put them into a world that destroys them - Edward loves his brother but can't outwardly emote it in the same way Al can and ends up literally destroying Al's everything when he convinces him to help attempt their mom's life.

Edward hates people who use others for their own personal gain or for selfish reasons, he hates arrogance and hatred itself. He rightly identifies all these qualities in Roy who he appears to hate, when in reality Edward tried to bring back his mom knowing there's a chance he and his brother could die, he is also extremely arrogant and has no problem using all the militaries money and resources to do what he wants yet he cannot fathom why Roy, who sticks his neck out for him many times, gets angry with him or why some Ishvallans people are offended that he is in the military.

They have some distantly codependent relationship because they both realize they need each other - Roy needed to recruit Edward initially to show off, he also realizes Edward knows valuable information he uses to complete his goal, but also sees someone who needs some form of guidance and discipline. Edward needs Roy so he can access the power and resources he provides but he also at the end of the day, after leaving the military and coming back randomly and literally going AWOL, Roy (AND his team) does not abandon him.

So knowing that Edward is loyal, Roy assumes in the last episode when he runs into Edward on the street looking fine as hell, that Edward will join him in his battle with pride. Roy has to go into battle now alone which it seems he didn't apparently take into account and because of this he barely beats Bradley and almost dies. Edward finally accepts that Roy isn't 100% gutted and sees the good in him and finally becomes aware that the military he chose to join is corrupt, therefore so is he - he doesn't think what Roy is going to do will solve anything yet he goes and fights Dante to basically accomplish the same thing. You finally see that deep down they did always care about each other. When they say goodbye it is like the completion of both character arcs, at least for the series itself.

In COS they still follow the same path in that, yes, did they accomplish their goals? For sure, but now Roy -who succesfully killed Bradley - is demoted and exciled and miserable, and Edward -who got his brothers body restored - is alone and has absolutely nobody who understands him and is stuck that way for life.

This relates to my over feelings about Roy and his character arc because it adds to the depth of it. Their relationship is integral to it and would not be the same at all without it. I didnt talk much about Brotherhood because its been so long I don't want to mess up the facts on, but the one thing that plays into my opinion is that in BH Roy does get what he wants and I dont like that. Roy does not desevre that unfortunately and it is way boring because its like.....oh....ok? What a total shocker -_- VS Wow after ALL this, he fails even though we all think hes going to succeed at first. I also like how Edward is portrayed in 03 way better and all that ties into it to but that's another topic itself.

[featherlouise]

Do you have any more funfacts about mothfriend, his relationship with Hollow, their kids or maybe the childhood friends AU? 👀 I am very normal about all of them (lies)

Okok so I kinda have a habit of centring all my characters’ lives around the main character. So!! I’ve been thinking about mothfriend’s childhood, how he came to live in the middle of nowhere, etc

So!!

The day the Radiance is consumed by the void, her dying screams echo across the lands. It’s a sound no mortal has heard in millennia, but every living being intrinsically knows the meaning of: the death of a god.

As the child of the Seer, he was expected to have a deeper connection to the dream realm than most, and as such was raised with. A lot. Of pressure put onto him. On top of that, his mother believed that if she were to offer her child to the Radiance as a vessel, her connection to Her would deepen, and she would forever be known as the one who broke the chains cast upon their goddess by the pale usurper.

When the Radiance dies, however, mothfriend ceases to be of any use. His magical abilities are lacklustre, to say the least, and with Her gone, he just becomes another mouth to feed.

I’ve not really worked the specifics, but long story short, mothfriend takes the commotion caused by Her death to make a break for it. He runs out into the middle of a blizzard and doesn’t look back. He runs until he can’t and then runs even further. Because if he knows one thing, it’s that he cannot stay in this kingdom. Not with how deep the Order has sunk their teeth into it.

Eventually, he reaches the edge of the kingdom (the capital is p near the border, so this takes maybe an hour or two) and he knows that if he doesn’t find shelter soon, he’s a dead man walking.

(I’ve not figured out how, bc I don’t want him to just find it by chance but!!) eventually, he stumbles across a cabin, and figures if there are any owners, they won’t begrudge him for taking shelter in their barn, and manages to fall into a fitful sleep.

When he wakes up, there’s a blanket thrown over him. (Again, not worked out the details (this is a very new idea lmao))

Turns out!! This cabin is owned by a blind old lady, and while she can get by pretty well on her own, manual labour jobs her wife used to do have been getting more and more difficult. Mothfriend, with nowhere else to go, takes up her offer of lodging in return for work.

I’ve been thinking about mothfriend’s character a little, and have decided that his kind, mild, generally teddy bear like demeanour?? It’s VERY deliberate. Mothfriend is VERY hot headed, and for the first few months of his stay with the lady, whenever he starts getting angry, she sends him outside to chop wood to let out his frustration.

When he’s done, he’ll bring whatever’s usable (aka whatever hasn’t been chopped to pieces) into the house, puts it into the basket next to the fireplace, and sits down at the dining table with the lady, who made a warm drink for the both of them while she waited (sometimes it’s tea, other times it’s hot chocolate, or coffee, she’s surprisingly good at figuring out just what mothfriend needs in these moments).

While they drink, they talk. And, through these chats, he learns that the lady (“Call me Gran, dear.”) had a wife and child, the former of which passed away peacefully in her sleep almost a decade ago. Her child on the other hand?? Was captured and presumably killed by “religious fanatics” when he was young. Almost half a century later she still has no idea what happened to him.

He decides not to tell her about the Order.

One day, a couple of months into his stay, she tells him to help her clean out the spare room in the cottage, since he “may as well have somewhere proper to sleep, can’t have your back giving out before mine!! That couch does you no good.”

It’s at this point mothfriend begins to worry about possibly trying to replace Gran’s lost child, and when he brings it up during one of their post wood chopping conversations, she just laughs, and tells him,

“Dear, just because I’m letting more people into my life, it doesn’t mean I’ve gotta kick anyone else out!! This ain’t a hotel, hon. My heart’s got unlimited space. Once you’re in here,” she pats herself on the chest, “Y’ain’t leavin’.”

After a few years, Gran’s health starts to deteriorate. A few years after that, she passes away, bedridden, with Mothfriend holding onto her hand.

Before she goes, she tells him, “I’m glad you escaped those evil sons a’ bitches dear. Never woulda’ met my favourite grandson otherwise.”

He never finds out how she knew, and surprisingly, it doesn’t bother him.

A year later, an injured god (though he doesn’t know that) shows up on his doorstep

[toughaqua777]

I Just Had an Idea

Well, multiple ideas and thoughts that go together. Put under Keep Reading because long post again. But just in case, TL;DR: Russo’s clone appeared earlier than we think, Russo’s been absent since the meeting on the spaceship, and Mr. B lookin’ a little sus ngl

I believe that Russo’s clone (who from here on out I will refer to as “Ruse”) was made before Russo was kidnapped. In fact, Russo went missing while still on the spaceship to the lobby. Hear me out.

In the trailer for Season 3, we cut to the three hosts while on the spaceship, and as we know, they’re debating how they were gonna do all the challenges and whatnot. After Mr. B makes contact (and eventually disconnects), Russo seems pretty delighted about the concept that Mr. B put forth about the Bits:

“Wait, guys, this is great! Yeah, the Season 3 final battle we made got destroyed with the new lobby and we weren’t sure what we were gonna do with the grand prize items, but now we have a reason to earn them!”

But at some point, when you talk to Russo(?), he says this:

“Why is everyone looking for bits of our instruments? That has to be impossible to find! You’re all wasting your time if you ask me!”

A little contrary, isn’t it?

And keep in-mind, the Bits are used to create tools for Battlers to assist with dealing with whoever/whatever caused the incident at the concert. It’s only natural if someone who didn’t want the tools to be made would want to deter others from finding them, right?

“But wait,” you might ask, “That was AFTER at least one match-up in the tournament already happened! Maybe Russo got replaced after that!” And you’d have a point!

But recall what happened on the spaceship.

After Sabrina announces that they’ve almost arrived at the old lobby, the spaceship takes massive damage out of nowhere. We never learn what exactly caused that, do we? And after everyone scrambles around doing tasks for a bit, an emergency meeting is called...also out of nowhere. No, seriously, no one knows who/what called it. And the following takes place:

DJ: “Wait, if everyone’s here, why are we having an emergency meeting?”

Russo(?): “Uhhh, must’ve been a false alarm.”

And that’s it, basically. He dismisses the meeting shortly afterwards.

Basically, my idea is that the damage to the ship was caused by something--or rather, someone--penetrating the ship and infiltrating it. This causes everyone to scramble to complete tasks, including the hosts. With everyone separated, it would be the perfect time for someone to strike.

This is where Ruse comes in.

He goes on to find Russo and attack him, nabbing the latter’s sword so he can’t fight back. In a panic, Russo rushes to activate the emergency meeting...but it’s too late for him. Ruse grabs him and either locks him away elsewhere on the ship, or straight-up throws him out. Remember, Russo (or rather Ruse) is the last person to enter the room, and he arrives somewhat late in comparison to the other two hosts, so him doing all of this beforehand is entirely possible.

Either way, Ruse’s intention? To kill Russo and take his place so everything else went without a hitch.

But obviously, whether by a miracle in getting thrown out, a miracle in the crashing of the spaceship, or in somehow escaping the locked room he was in before crashing, Russo survives. Probably not unscathed (physically or mentally), but he survives.

Because of everything that had just gone down, Russo decides that he needs to figure out where Ruse came from, who or what he was created by, his creator’s goal, etc. But not wanting to endanger anyone (and not wanting to cause panic and delay/cancel Season 3 as a whole), he lays low for a while.

That doesn’t stop him from leaving clues behind nor does it stop him from helping from the sidelines. What do I mean by this?

Well, think about it: The mystery lobby was likely made by JP and Netpunk as a whole, right? Why would they deliberately leave behind methods of powering up the tools made by the Bits if they didn’t want them to be found (if Ruse deterring others from finding them is any indication)? They wouldn’t. It wouldn’t make sense. But it wasn’t Mr. B either; he says himself that he has no idea how to power the tools. So who would at least try to develop methods of doing so without making it too obvious (making them challenging to do both as a test to which Battler would be capable of helping and to avoid suspicion from JP & Netpunk)?

Russo.

Russo was also the one who would write the message on the wall that DJ and the Battlers would find: “DON’T TRUST RUSSO, TRUST ME!” It was Russo trying to lay the hint that Ruse wasn’t him! However, when DJ confronted who he thought was Russo about it, he was dismissed.

But in reality, it made Ruse realize something: Russo was still alive.

This is why “Russo” vanished afterwards; not only to keep tabs on the development of the final battle, but to hunt down Russo!

That said, Ruse probably didn’t inform JP about this. He probably wanted JP to believe the development of the final battle was going without a hitch and/or he thought he could deal with Russo himself.

Meanwhile, Russo’s still gathering intel and as a result he, I believe, got himself a JP disguise. This is possible thanks to the Skin Changer in the lobby that allows us Battlers to look like the competitors & the hosts, or at least it utilized the same tech. He did this to get more intel on Netpunk that he wasn’t able to obtain otherwise. By infiltrating the very source of the issue, he could figure out more.

This disguise was so perfect, it even tricked his counterpart. Recall the “Everything is in place!!” short. That was Ruse we saw with JP...or rather, Russo disguised as JP. The facade fades, however, as soon as the real JP’s voice is heard over the intercom, forcing Russo to take what he could get at the time and bail out. We never hear the disguised person talk, so it’s not out of the realm of possibility.

After a while (whether Ruse went to chase after him after the short or not), the two confront each other. Whatever happened then, it ends with Ruse being defeated (possibly even killed), and Russo taking his sword back and moving forward to save his friends from an untimely fate. Perhaps he even sent whatever intel he had to JParty in case something went down (like falling lost through the Metaverse) so he could move-in to pull a last-minute save.

I understand that this whole thing still has holes, but I think I can fill a few of them.

1) Why did JP & Netpunk allow the Bit tools to be made at all?

Perhaps it was overconfidence; JP may have believed that even if the tools were powered, no one would be able to stop them. They also could’ve known that they wouldn’t be powered just by being made, which would make Russo developing ways they could be all the more impactful.

2) How would Ruse be made at all?

Well, how was “The Great Woman” made? She was a clone of Sabrina that didn’t come out right. The tech probably isn’t perfect. That said, Ruse might’ve been more accurate to Russo due to having a more physical basis. That basis, I believe, is the Russo Plush. No, I’m not kidding. It’s available in the shop in the lobby and it’s the spitting image of the man in-question. That’s a stretch though.

So, as an alternative...

Well, we need to talk about a certain someone: Mr. Boringsworth.

OK, listen. Mr. B was kidnapped by JP early on, being forced to make the artificial sun and build the spaceship that would be used to go to it. And remember the short I mentioned earlier: Ruse stated that Mr. B was the one who set-up the subway to not work until a certain time. Also, he was likely released after making the sun so he could make the spaceship in the concert lobby (I mean, how else was he gonna make that thing?). And since the hosts knew about it, this part’s no secret.

But one would think that, after being released, he would’ve said something to warn the hosts. Or better yet, just didn’t make the spaceship at all.

So, what if he’s still in-danger? What if he’s being forced to do more? What if he already has done more?

For all we know, he probably has a lot of intel on the hosts in-general; he could’ve provided the info needed to help make the clones, even if the tech to make said clones is flawed. I doubt he’d do so willingly, unless he was under threat of...something. He stated that he “didn’t have a choice” to make the sun and spaceship, but maybe he was being threatened with death?

Or heck, maybe even blackmail?

We don’t actually know much about the guy when you think about it. He’s clearly very intelligent; in Season 2, he gave off the impression that he was a teacher of sorts, but now? He’s a mechanical genius; a spaceship, personal tools utilizing powerful Bits, an artificial sun with an extremely strong gravitational pull...for all we know, he even made the swords of the hosts!

But that only makes me wonder...Who is he, exactly? What’s his background? Maybe he’s just smart. But maybe there’s more to it.

Just who are you, Mr. B?

ANYWAY, thanks for coming to my infodump lol

[weirdlet]

4 and 10 for Glory?

Ooooh-

4. Do they have any scars or tattoos? (good way to get into literal backstory)

Let’s start with the obvious- he has very finely done but deliberately left visible top surgery scars, done with magical healing. On top of that, he has an ornate star/sailing chart tattooed over his chest, with a Renaissance Faire woodcut style sun and moon on either side. There are plentiful other small tattoos elsewhere, not all of which have been defined- but there may well be some land or flying creatures tattooed on his feet, the way my dad talked about navy men getting.

On his right bicep is the logo of the White Sails mercenary group- Glory was recruited basically as part of his parole, so this is a combination ‘yellow ticket of leave’ and mark of the legion.

He has a few lashes across his mid back from learning the hard way as a cabin boy, and a collection of fine nicks, scars and rope-burns on his hands and forearms from fishing and handling ropes and general sailoring and fighting. Since getting thrown into the deep end of this campaign, he’s been pierced through, knocked down, and magically healed a number of times, including the time he was run through by a manticore, woke up in the court of Glasya, daughter of Asmodeus, and irritated the hell-queen so much that she threw him back like a too-small fish (as he tells it- she was really chucking fruit at him when the Revifify scroll hit). He’s intent on at some point getting a teasing pinup of her on some part of his arm or back.

10. What objects do they always carry around with them? (What do they need for their normal, day-to-day routine? What does ‘normal’ even look like for them.) 

(this will be the fourth time writing this out, I have given up on trying to do this in mobile, it keeps whisking away without having saved and I am ready to chew glass)

Rather than go through the full non-exhaustive bookkeeping of what an adventurer has on their character sheet, I'm going to go with the specific ideal things Glory would have on his person.

His sword and knives- the one for slashing and stabbing, a couple of the others for off-hand attacks, fish-gutting, rope-splicing, general cook-work and minor surgery, you know, the basics.

His net hammock and the tackle to hang it; it's the only way he can sleep comfortably with his wings/lifelong sea legs.

Contrary to popular belief, Glory does not wear every SINGLE coin that he owns at all times- but he likes to keep an assortment of gold and silver chunky bangles and armrings on, a selection of earrings, horn-tip caps and strings of coins around his waist and hips. Easy to spend, trade, put on and take off. 'Wearing your wealth' is a big part of his culture as both a sea-brat from the shadier side of Mintarn's floating market, and as a notorious pirate.

Sharpening, sewing and repair kit- a lot of his downtime is spent in upkeep on his gear, his friends' gear, etc. Nothing will look brand new or perfect, but it will function as it fades even as it approaches Ship of Theseus levels of restoration.

A fine-toothed, pretty comb that used to belong to his mother- one of the paste jewels has popped out, but it's a very well-carved bit of ivory.

The Bandoleer of Holding that holds his restorative potions and/or alchemist's fire at the ready- when he has them [IF I HAD THEM!!]

His flute/panpipes- good for long watches and late evenings.

[jpeg-dot-jpeg]

🌈 💞 and 💌 for the asks!

(It's @bibatboy and I was hoping you'd reblog that ask post so I could prod you for answers too 😂)

thanks for the ask bestie <3

meant to answer this earlier but then life got in the way

🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?

I'd have to say the fic I struggled the most with was probably Karyogamy. It is, to date, the longest fic I've written and the first longfic I've made. I did a lot of deliberating about how I wanted to alternate universes to differ and the whole thing came out much longer than originally intended. Chapters 3 and 4 especially beat it out of me. Before then, I didn't really have any experience advancing plot so it was a challenge, but I'm really proud of how it turned out!

💞what's the most important part of a story for you? the plot, the characters, the worldbuilding, the technical stuff (grammar etc), the figurative language

I've answered questions like this before and my response is always different lol. I guess I'd have to say the relationships between the characters are most important to me when I'm writing. I mean, I am a ship writer so that comes with the territory, but I always worry that the relationships between characters seem rushed or underdeveloped or not explained well.

💌share something with us about an up-and-coming work (WIP) that has you excited!

okay so I literally have 18 wips rn plus 4 fully completed works that I just haven't posted yet, including that JayTim abo fic I posted a snippet of in a previous ask, a JayTim fluff/cuddle fic, and a smutty prequel to The Lost Art of Minding Your Goddamn Business, but I think this time I'm gonna tease you with a little angsty Bart Allen-centric piece I'm working on <];)

The physical sensation of it is unlike anything Bart has ever experienced before. The memory of his death haunts him. There is the fire searing his skin to ashes, boiling his blood, muscles contracting and shriveling and crumbling away all at once. It envelops him, like being shrink wrapped in a sheet of lava.

Almost as bad is the force of the fireball slamming into him. His bones shatter. His insides fold in on themselves. Bart has gotten smacked around a lot, thrown in walls, punched, kicked, even flattened a time or two, but none of that compares to this. This is the kind of blunt force that on its own is enough to beat the life out of him in one swift strike, one spectacular bang.

Bart isn’t sure which killed him first: the heat or the hit.

[thewahookid]

2025 LIST OF MORTAL SINS THAT CATHOLICS SHOULD AVOID - MORTAL SINS: REPENT! EITHER YOU BURN IN HELL ETERNALLY OR PAY FOR IT IN PURGATORY TILL THE END OF TIME

For nothing impure shall enter Heaven

Nothing impure and no one who does shameful things or tells lies will ever go into Heaven - Revelations 21:27

LIST OF MORTAL SINS (Catholic Theology - Saint Tomas Aquinas -Catechism of the Catholic Church etc.)

What is a Mortal Sin?

"Amen, amen, I say to you: If any man keep my word, he shall not see death forever."

—John 8:51

The Distinction between two types of sin

All sin is an offense against God and a rejection of his perfect love and justice. Yet, Jesus makes a distinction between two types of sins. We call the most serious and grave sins, mortal sins. Mortal sins destroy the grace of God in the heart of the sinner. By their very grave nature, a mortal sin cuts our relationship off from God and turns man away from his creator. St. Paul’s letter to the Hebrews tell us that "if we sin willfully after having the knowledge of the truth, there is now left no sacrifice for sins" (Hebrews 10:26). The second type of sin, venial sin, that of less grave matter, does not cut us off from Christ.

However, venial sin does weaken grace in the soul and damages our relationship with God. A person who frequently indulges in venial sin is very likely to collapse into mortal sin if they persist in their evil ways.

So what kind of Sins are Mortal?

In order for a sin to be mortal, it must meet three conditions:

Mortal sin is a sin of grave matter

Mortal sin is committed with full knowledge of the sinner

Mortal sin is committed with deliberate consent of the sinner

This means that mortal sins cannot be done "accidentally." A person who commits a mortal sin is one who knows that their sin is wrong, but still deliberately commits the sin anyway. This means that mortal sins are "premeditated" by the sinner and thus are truly a rejection of God’s law and love.

The first condition, that a mortal sin is of grave matter, means that certain premeditated offenses against God are more severe than others. We know that some sins are graver than others (e.g. it is a graver sin to murder someone than to lie to someone). St. John tells us, "If anyone sees his brother sinning, if the sin is not deadly, he should pray to God and he will give him life. This is only for those whose sin is not deadly. There is such a thing as deadly sin, about which I do not say that you should pray. All wrongdoing is sin, but there is sin that is not deadly." (1 John 5:16-17). Thus St. John distinguishes between mortal and venial sin. Jesus also warns us that "Anyone who does not remain in me will be thrown out like a branch and wither; people will gather them and throw them into a fire and they will be burned" (John 15:6).

What kinds of offenses against God constitute "grave matter"?

In the Bible, St. Paul gives us a list of grave sins. He states that anyone who commits these sins shall not enter the kingdom of God. "Now the works of the flesh are manifest, which are these; Adultery, fornication, uncleanness, lasciviousness, idolatry, witchcraft, hatred, variance, emulations, wrath, strife, seditions, heresies, envyings, murders, drunkenness, revellings, and such like: of the which I tell you before, as I have also told you in time past, that they which do such things shall not inherit the kingdom of God" (Galatians 5:19-20). Paul also tells the Corinthians, "know you no that the unjust shall not possess the kingdom of God? Do not err: neither fornicators, nor idolaters, nor adulterers, Nor the effeminate, nor liers with mankind, nor thieves, nor covetous, nor drunkards nor railers, nor extortioners shall possess the kingdom of God" (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). These sins constitute grave matter, and if they are committed willingly and with full consent, constitute mortal sin.

The Church also tells us that the sins of anger, blasphemy, envy, hatred, malice, murder, neglect of Sunday obligation, sins against faith (incredulity against God or heresy), sins against hope (obstinate despair in the hope for salvation and/or presumption that oneself can live without God or be saved by one’s own power) and sins against love (indifference towards charity, ingratitude, and/or hatred of God) also constitute grave matter. This list of grave sins, is based on Jesus Christ’s interpretation of the gravity of the Ten Commandments. Grave sins can be classed as sins against God, neighbor and self, and can further be divided into carnal and spiritual sins (CCC 1853).

Four other sins are considered grave also. These sins not only offend God, but men as well. Thus these four sins are called "the sins that cry to heaven for vengeance" and are likewise mortal sins. These grave sins are:

The voluntary murder (Genesis 4:10)

The sin of impurity against nature –Sodomy and homosexual relations (Genesis 18:20)

Taking advantage of the poor (Exodus 2:23)

Defrauding the workingman of his wages (James 5:4)

Finally, the capital sins are also considered grave matter. These sins are vices and are defined as contrary to the Christian virtues of holiness. They are pride, avarice, envy, wrath, lust, gluttony, and sloth (acedia).

Note from the author: For those of you who do not understand why these particular sins are of grave matter, I would suggest that you refer to the Summa Theologiae of St. Thomas Aquinas. He does an excellent job of explaining why these sins are of grave matter, and also explores the counter-arguments and objections that some people have regarding these grave sins.

A thorough listing and description of grave sins:

The First Commandment, "You shall Worship the Lord Your God and him only Shall You Serve"

Idolatry—Idolatry is the worship, veneration or belief in false gods. Because it is a direct rejection of God, it is a grave sin (1 Corinthians 6:9-10). Idolatry includes worship of images (This does not mean that we cannot venerate religious images. Veneration of images such as a crucifix is veneration of the person depicted, and not the actual image in and of itself.)

Divination, magic and sorcery—This is a grave sin which includes attempting to command the powers of the occult, control or speak to demons or spirits (especially Satan), attempting to divine the future, and the use of magic charms (CCC 2116). Deuteronomy 18:10-11 speaks against this grave sin.

Sacrilege—The sin of sacrilege is a grave sin that consists of profaning or treating unworthily the sacraments and liturgical actions of the Church as well as things consecrated to God (CCC 2120).

Atheism—Because atheistic humanism falsely seeks man and human glory and rejects God, atheism is a grave sin (CCC 2125). It is a sin against the virtue of religion. St. Paul tells us, "For the wrath of God is revealed from heaven against all unholiness and injustice of those men that detain the truth of God in injustice" (Romans 1:18).

The Second Commandment, "You shall not take the name of the Lord your God in vain"

Blasphemy—This grave sin is the uttering of hatred, reproach, defiance or speaking ill of God. Blasphemy against the Church, the saints and sacred things is also a grave sin (CCC 2148). It fails to give love and respect to our Creator. St. James speaks against sinners who "blaspheme the good name that is invoked upon you" (James 2:7).

Perjury and False Oaths—Those who take an oath in the name of the Lord and fail to keep it, or break the oath at a later date, show a grave lack of respect for the Lord of all speech (CCC 2152). Pledging oneself to commit an evil deed is also sinful. During his Sermon on the Mount, Jesus speaks against sinners who give false oaths (Matthew 5:33-34).

The Third Commandment,

"Remember the sabbath day, to keep it holy"

Deliberate failure of the Sunday obligation—The Christian Sunday (the Lord’s Day) celebrates the new life of the world born in Christ’s Resurrection. All humans have a duty, to praise God and give him thanks. Thus all Christians are bound to participate in the Mass, and must partake of the Eucharist at least on holy days of obligation. Deliberate failure to do this constitutes a grave sin (CCC 2181).

The Fifth Commandment, "You shall not kill"

Murder (intentional homicide)—Direct and intentional killing is gravely sinful (CCC 2268). It is a sin that cries to heaven for vengeance, much like the murder of Abel at the hands of Cain. Indirect homicide can also be of grave nature (such as refusing to help a person in danger). However, the Church teaches that self-defense is permissible for the preservation of a one’s life. If the attacker is mortally wounded or killed, then the death of the attacker is not a sin. Those who use unnecessary aggression in self-defense can sin mortally, if the attacker is killed or gravely injured.

Abortion—Human life begins at conception in the mother’s womb. For God tells us, "Before I formed you in the womb I knew thee, and before you were born I consecrated you" (Jeremiah 1:5). Abortion is therefore murder. The oldest Christian book (besides parts of the Bible) is the Didache, a book composed by the twelve apostles or their disciples. The Didache proclaims the ancient teaching of the Catholic Church, "You shall not kill the embryo by abortion and shall not cause the newborn to perish" (Didache 2,2). All Catholics who procure a completed abortion or participate in execution of an abortion are automatically excommunicated from the Catholic Church (CCC 2272 and CIC Canon 1314).

Euthanasia—The direct killing of the sick, handicapped, or dying, regardless of motive, is a grave sin. The will and action taken to cause a person’s death is an act of murder (CCC 2277). Those who are suffering and are nearing death must be allowed to die (or recover, which is sometimes a possibility) naturally. Administration of painkillers is permissible, provided the drugs are not willed as an end or a means to precipitate death. "Discontinuing medical procedures that are burdensome, dangerous, extraordinary, or disproportionate to the expected outcome can be legitimate; it is the refusal of ‘overzealous treatment" (CCC 2278). In this case death is not willed, but is merely accepted as inevitable and cannot be impeded.

Suicide—Suicide is murder of the self. It is contrary to the love of God, self, family, friends and neighbors (CCC 2281). It is of especially grave nature, if it is intended to set an example for others to follow. Voluntary cooperation in a suicide is also contrary to the moral law. However, the responsibility of and gravity of suicide can be diminished in the cases of grave psychological disturbances, anguish, grave fear of hardship, suffering, or torture. But this does not make it morally permissible, and it is the judgement of God that will measure the gravity or responsibility of the sin.

Scandal—Scandal is an attitude or behavior that leads another to do evil. If someone is deliberately lead into a grave offense, that person’s tempter commits a grave sin (CCC 2284 and 2285). Jesus said, "Whoever causes one of these little ones who believes in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened round his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea" (Matthew 18:6).

Drug abuse—Drug abuse does grave damage to health and life and is a grave offense. Only legitimate therapeutic use is acceptable (CCC 2290).

Gluttony—Gluttony is an excessive love for food, and is a disordered passion for wordly appetites. Because it is contrary to the virtue of temperance, it can constitute a grave sin. Gluttony is also a capital sin (CCC 1866, 2290)

Alcohol Abuse—Alcohol abuse can also be excessively dangerous and harmful to the body, and sometimes to neighbors (CCC 2290).. Because it is also contrary to temperance and is a disordered passion, it is a grave sin (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

Terrorism—Terrorism that threatens, wounds and kills indiscriminately is of grave matter (CCC 2297). Other forms of bodily violence (kidnapping, hostage taking, non-medical amputations, mutilations and sterilization) are also contrary to the moral law.

Extreme Anger—"Anger is a desire for revenge. If anger reaches the point of a deliberate desire to kill or seriously wound a neighbor, it is gravely against charity; it is a mortal sin (CCC 2302). Christ speaks against anger saying, "Everyone who is angry with his brother shall be liable to judgement (Matthew 5:22)."

Hatred—Hatred of a neighbor is to deliberately wish him evil, and is thus a grave sin (CCC 2303 and Galatians 5:19-20).

Extortion—Extortion is to obtain something from another by coercion or intimidation. It is an act of violence and theft, and is condemned by 1 Corinthians 6:9-10.

The Sixth Commandment, "You shall not commit adultery"

Adultery—Adultery is marital infidelity. A married person who has sexual relations with anyone but their lawful spouse, even transient sexual relations, commits adultery (CCC 2380).

Divorce—The grave sin of divorce condemns those who divorce and remarry (Matthew 5:32) and those who divorce in the civil sense (except by grave dispensation). Hence divorce between two baptized Christians is a mortal sin (CCC 2384).

Fornication—Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman and is a grave sin (CCC 2353). St. Paul condemns fornication in his epistle 1 Corinthians 6:18. All aspects of intimate contact associated with the marriage act also constitute fornication for Jesus said, "I say to you, everyone who looks at a woman with lust has already committed adultery with her in his heart" (Matthew 9:28). If lustful looks are adulterous, how much worse is lustful physical contact?

Pornography—Pornography is the display of intimate real or simulated sexual acts to a third party. Because it removes the marriage act from within the sacramental sanctity of marriage, and perverts sex, it is gravely contrary to charity (CCC 2354). The display of pornography to children and other parties is especially gravely sinful because it is gravely scandalous.

Prostitution—Prostitution reduces a person to an instrument of sexual pleasure and lust. It is gravely contrary to charity and chastity and defiles the body, the temple of the Holy Spirit. However, destitution, blackmail or social pressure can reduce the gravity of the sin. Still, prostitution is always a sin (CCC 2355).

Rape—A person who commits rape violates the respect, freedom, physical and moral integrity of the victim. It is a brutal crime of violence that can physically and psychologically scar a person for life. It is thus a grave sin (CCC 2356).

Homosexual acts—Although it remains to be determined if homosexuality is a genetic, social or personal stigma, homosexual acts are condemned by God and can NEVER be approved by the Church (1 Corinthians 6:9-10, Genesis 19:1-29, Romans 1:24-27 and CCC 2357). If homosexuals are born with the condition, then they are called to live a life of Christian purity and chastity for the greater love of Christ. Such people can experience a life of trial, which all others must treat with compassion and sensitivity.

Incest—"Incest is intimate relations between relatives or in-laws within a degree that prohibits marriage between them" (CCC 2388). St. Paul condemns incest in his letter to the Corinthians (1 Corinthians 5:1,4-5).

Masturbation—"Masturbation is the deliberate stimulation of the sexual organs in order to derive sexual pleasure" (CCC 2352). The Church teaches that sex has two main purposes that must be sought in the marriage act: sex is for reproduction of children within a valid marriage, and it is a loving, unifying act between husband and wife. Masturbation violates both aspects of the natural law and is thus a grave sin.

The Seventh Commandment

—"You shall not steal"

Theft—All persons have a right to lawful private property obtained by legitimate work, inheritance or gift. To violate a person’s right to property by theft is a grave sin, especially if the loss of the property will severely hurt the victim (CCC 2408). The gravity of theft is determined by the harm it does to the victim. A poor beggar who steals a loaf of bread commits a less grave sin than a rich man who steals the savings of a destitute person. St. Paul tells us that thieves shall not inherit the kingdom of God (1 Corinthians 6:9-10).

Cheating –A cheater defrauds his victim of their property. It is morally of grave matter unless the damage to the victim is unusually light (CCC 2413).

Defrauding a worker of his wages—This is one of the sins that cry to heaven for vengeance. Defrauding a worker of his wages withholds and impedes his ability to sustain basic needs for himself and his family. It is a sin that cries to heaven for vengeance (CCC 1867).

Unfair wagers—Unfair wagers in games of chance are of grave matter if they deprive someone of what is necessary to provide for his needs and those of others (CCC 2413).

Taking advantage of the poor—The economic or social exploitation of the poor for profit harms the dignity and natural rights of the victim. It is a sin that cries to heaven for vengeance (CCC 1867).

The Eighth Commandment

—"You shall not bear false witness against your neighbors"

False witness and perjury—False witness is a public statement in court contrary to the truth. Perjury is false witness under oath. Both acts are gravely sinful when they condemn the innocent, exonerate the guilty or increase punishment of the accused. They are of grave matter because they contradict justice (CCC 2476).

Adulation—Adulation is verbal speech or an attitude that encourages or confirms another in malicious acts and perverse conduct. It is a grave sin if it makes one an accomplice in another’s vices or grave sins (CCC 2480).

Lying—Lying is the most direct offense against the truth. It is gravely sinful when it significantly degrades the truth. The gravity of this sin is measured by the truth it perverts, the circumstances, intentions of the liar and harm done to the victims (CCC 2484). Lying is a sin that originates from the devil, Satan, who is "the father of all lies" (John 8:44).

The Ninth Commandment

—"You shall not covet…your neighbor’s wife"

Lust—Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. It is disordered because sexual pleasure must not be isolated from its true, natural place: within the Sacrament of Matrimony that is ordered to procreation of children and a unifying love between husband and wife (CCC 2351). Lust, a sin and vice of the flesh, is often a difficult vice to overcome. Human weakness of will and lack of conformity to God is a result of the fall of mankind that causes a disorder between soul and body (called concupiscence) which is often manifested in lust. Yet, lust is a sin that can be overcome through prayer and grace through the Christian sacraments. Christ wills that we overcome lust and replace it with Christian love and purity of heart (Matthew 9:28). "Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God" (Matthew 5:8).

The Tenth Commandment

—"You shall not covet…anything that is your neighbors"

Avarice—Avarice is greed and the desire to amass earthly goods without limit. It is a passion for riches and luxury. Those who seek temporal happiness at the expense of spiritual duties, risk the grave sin of avarice. Avarice is one of the deadly vices (CCC 2536).

Envy—Envy, another capital sin, is sadness at the sight of another’s goods and the immoderate desire to acquire them for oneself. Envy can lead to grave consequences and can harm neighbors. If envy leads to grave harm to a neighbor, it is surely a grave sin.

Offenses Against Faith

Voluntary doubt of faith—Voluntary doubt of faith is disregarding the revealed truth of God and his Church (CCC 2088). Those who do this risk spiritual blindness and loss of faith.

Incredulity, heresy, apostasy, schism—Incredulity is the neglect of revealed truth or willful refusal to assent to it. Heresy is obstinate post-baptismal denial of a truth that must be believed with divine and catholic faith. Apostasy is total repudiation of the Christian faith. Schism is the refusal of submission to the Roman Pontiff or communion with the members of the Church (CCC 2089). These sins strain or break the bonds of unity with the offender and the Catholic Church.

Offenses Against Hope

Despair in hope—Those who despair in hope, cease to hope in salvation from God or help in attaining forgiveness of sin (CCC 2090). Christian hope sustains a believer’s faith and dependence on God, and should not be neglected or rejected.

Presumption—The Church teaches of two types of sinful presumption: the presumption that man can save himself without help from God and the presumption that God’s power or his mercy will merit him forgiveness without repentance and conversion (CCC 2092).

Offenses Against Charity

Indifference—This grave sin entails neglect or refusal on divine charity (a.k.a. divine love). Those who sin in indifference fail to consider the goodness of charity, and deny its power (CCC 2094).

Ingratitude—An ungrateful sinner fails or refuses to acknowledge and return the love and charity of God (CCC 2094).

Lukewarmness—Lukewarmness is negligence in response to God’s charity. It can also mean the refusal to give oneself to the prompting of charity (CCC 2094).

Acedia (spiritual sloth)—Spiritual sloth, a capital sin, is the refusal of joy that comes from God. An sinner who indulges in acedia may even be repelled by divine goodness (CCC 2094).

Hatred of God—This grave sin is born of pride and is contrary to the love of God. A sinner who hates God willfully rejects him. Hatred of God refuses to acknowledge and praise God’s goodness and obedience (CCC 2094).

Of course we must realize that this is certainly not a complete list of sins. The sins that are listed above are those of grave matter that can become mortal sins if they are done willfully and with full knowledge of their nature. Other sins are of venial nature, and are less grave than the ones listed above.

What is venial sin?

As stated before, venial sin is a sin of lesser matter than grave sin. It can also be a sin of grave matter in which the sinner did not fully consent to the sin or did not have knowledge that his actions where sinful. Venial sins will not destroy grace in the soul, and will not directly cause a person who dies in the state of venial sin to lose the promise of heaven. Yet, venial sin weakens a person’s will to avoid evil and thus may indirectly lead to mortal sin. Regardless, all sin is an offense against God and should be avoided.

All sins can be forgiven

A person who repents of their sin, intends to live a new life of grace, and receives the Sacrament of Reconciliation will be forgiven of all their sins (mortal sins in particular must be confessed in the Sacrament). Our sins can be forgiven, because Jesus Christ paid for the price of human sin by dying on the cross for the redemption of humanity. Jesus Christ, true man and true God, was the perfect sacrifice for human sin and as a result saved those who are baptized, repent and believe in him.

Because a baptized Christian can still sin, Christ instituted the Sacrament of Reconciliation for the forgiveness of our sins. Jesus gave the power to forgive sins in his name to the Church. He told his apostles, "Receive the Holy Spirit. Whose sins you forgive are forgiven them, and whose sins you retain are retained" (John 20:22–23). This means that the apostles and their successors, the priests and bishops of the Catholic Church, can forgive sins in Jesus’ name.

It is vitally important that Catholics confess sins on a regular basis, especially if we are in the state of mortal sin. A person who dies in mortal sin cannot enter the kingdom of heaven and is doomed to eternal suffering in hell. Even when we have not committed mortal sin, we are still obliged to confess our sins at least once a year. Christ, in perfect love, laid down his life so that we may be forgiven of our sins. The sacrifice of the cross should not be neglected or taken for granted. Jesus died for the life of the world and is thus the light of the world. "He that followeth me, walketh not in darkness, but shall have the light of life" (John 8:12)

--S.M.M.

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