#or the other way. i stop caring about patrons' sob stories or hard days or legitimate crises or whatever else

[folkinsomnia]

guess who's back in their compassion fatigue for library patrons era!!!

[hes-writer]

Patreon Masterlist

These are exclusive fics that you can read on my Patreon!

* = complete, ^ = in-progress, + = will be posted on tumblr, (s) = smut (implied or mentioned) writing count: 78 pieces

**billing cycle currently paused** | new patrons will still be charged

This is a reupload of my masterlist with sneak peeks of each piece so you know what's up :D

Multi-Part Series | One Shots | Drabbles | Extras

* Unwavering (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) - 6.5k, the one where harry cheats (again)

"Right. Maybe we can go out tonight to grab some dinner," She suggested, a hopeful glint in her eyes and he almost felt guilty for putting her on the back burner of his mind. "I really have to go, baby," Peeking his head around her frame, he spotted the untouched toast and apple juice resting on where he should be. "I'm sorry."

^ + Roommate Series (3) (4) (5) (6) - 9.8k, the one where harry and y/n are roommates

He sighed, “I finished my coffee ages ago. I was just waiting for you to finish studying so we could leave together and go home,” Y/N dropped her fingers from his wrist, slouching the slightest bit as butterflies attacked her stomach. “Don’t look at me like that. I just wanted you to get home safe,” He nudged her forehead with the ball of his palm, his face contorting to annoyance.

^ + Notes on Camp (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) (6) (7) (8) - 16.5k, the one where harry and y/n are camp counsellors

Y/N looked around to be met with puckered lips and clenched hands as the campers practically requested for her to kiss their favourite counsellor. Wide, hopeful stares were willing her to commit.

“Alright, alright,” She bent her upper body to reach his cheek, licking over her lips once before pressing it on his skin. It was only a quick peck and then she pulled back. He stayed unmoving.

Jacky and Emy poked their finger at him on opposite sides. His cheek dimpling with their small indents. “Maybe you should do it again?”

* Friends Don't (1) (2) (3)- 3k, the one where lines are crossed

“It’s Harry Styles fanfiction on Tumblr,” She suggested a conversation, shyly smiling in embarrassment. “I can see that,” He murmured, using his thumb to scroll through the rest of the story, “It’s . . . interesting. People write these about me?” His retort made the situation seem like an utter surprise.

* Digress, Progress, Regress Series - 5k, the one where harry falls out of love

Y/N wondered if there was a chance to fixing what has been lost--what has disappeared as the canvas soaked through in a permeated osmosis. Coating the brush of blue with white paint took several layers to completely cover the mistakes. There had to be an effort in wanting to make the faults and errors completely opaque from the eye; the bleary, watery irises soaked with tears, dampening her lashes in a thick haze as she cried.

Tickle Fights (1)  - 1.2k, the one where bff!y/n teases harry about his boner

“What’s going on here, Harry?” The light tone of her voice indicated that she was teasing him, paired with the subtle movements of her lower half. Harry whined in response, feeling the blood rush downwards to make him even stiffer. “Does this feel good? Got hard over me straddling you, huh?” It was almost degrading, the way Y/N formed her question yet Harry couldn’t help a whimper from lingering in the air. He nodded, hands sliding down to grip at her moving hips.

Real Mature (1)  (2)  - part two is patron exclusive! - 603 words, the one where bff!harry and y/!n fight

“You shouldn’t have. I’m sorry for being bitter about you and Ruby,” She rested her forearms on his shoulders in a slant when he stood to his full height. “I know you’re happy with her,” Harry gave her a shy smile that confirmed his words. Ruby is someone special to Harry now and Y/N had to learn how to share his time, attention, and affection. “I reckon I’m just missing you a lot more now,” Y/N’s tone was sad and despondent, trailing her gaze to the floor where she almost chuckled at Harry’s fuzzy bunny slippers which she had gotten him.

^ Fine Line Series: Adore You - 1.1k the one where harry and y/n are friends with benefits

Still, with her back against the wall and Harry’s fingers still gripping her hips—she waited for his response. I told you I loved you. Say it back, Y/N thought. “I love her, Y/N,” He mumbled against her neck in a drunken stupor. So close.

Kinkmas Blurbs (1 - 7) - 4.6k, the one where it’s all smutty

Maybe it was the way that his jaw ticked harshly every time he threw his head back at a particularly good stroke. You wondered what he was imagining that had him bucking his hips to his fist before realizing that the movements would probably cause you to wake up. Still, his hooded lids didn’t peel open—not until a core shaking fondle of his heavy balls forced a choked whine out of his throat.

Harry’s neck snapped to your figure, catching the way you looked at him as if you were in distress that he wasn’t cumming anytime soon—not when you were there, willing and able to help.

“Fuck, love. ‘M sorry,” He mumbled, not stopping the flicks of his wrist. In fact, you swore that you could hear the squelching of his clear pre-cum squishing between his fingers.

The Secretary (1) (2) (3) (4) (5) 11k, the one where harry is the CEO and y/n is the assistant (cheating fic)

Two months ago, Y/N unburied a not-so-hidden secret that Harry tried to bury. Two months ago, Y/N walked in on her boyfriend and his secretary fucking on his office table. Two months ago, Y/N experienced everything from pain and discomfort, to disappointment and being scornful. She threaded the line of confronting him or waiting for the day he came forward and admitted it himself. There was a desire for Y/N to see Harry sweat beneath her beady eyes, watching him scratch the back of his pants in a nervous manner. She wanted to hear him stutter as he spat an excuse, she yearned to see him pleading with his gorgeous green eyes for her to stay.  Y/N craved for his throat to close up, whimpers choked from his trachea because he was losing his stability as she walked away from him.

(s) Tension (1) (2) - 5.3k, the one where harry and y/n hate each other

“S’that why you hate me so much?”

His fingertips tapped his thigh methodically, crumpling a faint thud against his jeans. With how close they were sitting, Y/N’s bare knee brushed against his clothing. A burn of desire and anticipation lit inside of her like a dose of gasoline another in a flaming hot fire.

Harry shook his head, “Don’t hate you."

Champagne Problems- 4.4k, the one where marriage is a sensitive topic, the 1 - coming soon!

The freshly popped bottle of champagne poured into the flute on the table beside her bubbled and simmered, the sizzling reaction of the golden liquid ignited a moment of realization within her. The reason why her body felt more weighted, why tears filled her glazed eyes, pricking her corneas and threatening to spill down her face. Y/N’s heart had cracked–she was certain that everybody around her could hear it.

One Shot

(s) Achy Back - 813 words, the one where harry draws y/n a bath

A pout sat on her face as Harry stopped himself from ducking his head and catching her plush lips with his, craving the sweet taste of her and her strawberry lip balm. Her arms wrapped around his snatched waist, halting his breath at the tightness of her embrace and settling for a kiss on her forehead, the scent of her shampoo wafting in his nostrils, knowing that she had taken shower hours prior.

A Letter to the Man I’ve Loved - 1.5k, the one where harry receives a letter from his ex

Is it really worth it to look back in retrospect about ‘what had been’ when she can think about ‘what could have been’ if both of them realized their faults? Granted, he was more resilient in that sense than her, but he was no better at the time. She made mistakes and it had haunted her to this day, practically killing her with each moment she spent without him by her side.

Renegade - 981 words, the one where harry and y/n do a tiktok dance

“What are y’doing?” Harry asked, his eyes wide as his large palms ruffled the fluffy towel on his damp curls. The steam from the bathroom escaped to your bedroom where you were panting with effort, your chest heaving so hard that the peaks of your breasts rose with each breath.

“Uh, what are you doing?” You retorted slowly, hiding your hands behind your back were your fingers gripped your phone. Your thumb dug hard on the volume bottom, frantically trying to decrease the music from the phone speaker.

(s) Drop the Towel - 644 words, the one where harry does the ‘drop the towel’ challenge

You gasped at the sight, the knife clanging on the marble counter, “Ooh, hi there,”

He smirked cockily, watching your eyes observe his body, tongue subconsciously peeking out between your lips until you snapped your head to the window, “Oh my god! There are people out there, Harry!” You wailed in alarm, bending over to hand him his towel.

All I Ask - 2.2k, the one where feelings aren’t mutual

“I don’t want to be scared of what will happen tomorrow or if all we have is right now because we’ll have nothing left but I am,” A sob ripped through his throat, emotions were heightened tenfold because she was so close yet so far and they were still Harry and Y/N but at the same time they weren’t. They’ve changed over the span of one night. “All we have is tonight,”

Little Prince - 583 words, the one where 7-year-old harry takes care of his best friend

“Y/N? Y/N! Are you okay? I’m so so sorry, I didn’t mean for that to happen. I swear I wasn’t mad at you, I was just jok- Why are you smiling?” Harry yelped, panic evident in his shrill voice. His hands wandered towards her face, tilting it left to right, up and down, searching for any visible and invisible injuries besides the bump on her forehead.

Stressed Out - 1.8k, the one where y/n has a huge term paper due

“What d’ya mean I don’t get it?” He closed the paperback, making sure to clip in his bookmark to save his spot.

A pregnant pause slithered the room. Her fingers typing against the keys of her laptop ceased as she shot him a glare, “You’re not studying, are you? All you do is write songs, fiddle with a few instruments and sing it in front of people who adore you,”

Valentine’s Day - 1.5k, the one where harry runs into trouble and y/n is there to save him

“Shit! Are you crazy?” Y/N gasped in surprise when the passengers seat was occupied, the door opening and slamming shut all while the car moved at a speed of 15 km/h —cursing her forgetfulness for not clicking the locks shut.

“Keep driving!” The passenger shouted, looking back through the windshield.

Dream With Me - 1.3k, the one where y/n has trouble sleeping

Harry’s admiration gets interrupted when a sudden jolt took over Y/N’s body. He dropped his mouth open a little in shock, rubbing her back soothingly when she whimpered quietly, “Shh, it’s okay. You’re safe with me,” She must have had experienced one of those moments when she was falling until her vision drooped to a shaded black.

Pet Name - 1.2k, the one where bff!harry just wants y/n to call him by his pet name again

His voice emulated a soft, syrupy tone that lingered in the air whenever he spoke. He was the colour honey itself–golden and yellow like the colour of the sun. Harry was bright in its sense of intelligence and the way he illuminated the whichever room he entered. His kindness catered to everyone’s needs and left pieces of his heart wherever he went.

Harry was honey.

Shave - 768 words, the one where harry helps y/n shave her coochie

She sniffles some more, “I’m trying to shave, H. It’s so itchy but I-I can’t reach down there,”

Y/N began to sob. The rattle of the razor clanking on the bathtub floor where she sat her bum on the edge. Her baby bump was causing her to teeter over the porcelain which urged Harry to swiftly plant his hands on her to keep her steady.

“I’m so huge! I’m the size of a house,” Y/N palmed the crest of her bump, rubbing it loosely as she admired the stretched skin yet slightly wishing that it would disappear and she was holding their baby in her arms instead.

(s) Don’t Worry, Darling - 1.5k, the one where y/n rides harry

He slipped down the headboard, resting his back flat on the mattress with Y/N sliding with him. She positioned her feet to rest near his knees, wrapping their limbs together so she could have some sort of sanity whilst Harry incepted on his shattering thrusts. Feet were planted on the mattress to give his lower half elevation to propel his hips against Y/N’s core. Harry’s fingers left white marks on her skin, gripping the plush flesh and essentially spreading Y/N open as he rapidly shoved his dick over and over inside of her with no signs of slowing down. He staggered for a few moments when her pulsing core emitted dazing throbs over his leaking cock but Y/N was quick to duplicate and resume the pace he had set with the movement of her hips.

To Be Loved - 2.3k, the one where y/n’s feelings are more than friendly

“I love you. Don’t you love me back?”

Harry’s eyes visibly widened, clearly taken aback by the question spewing from Y/N’s mouth. Her heat cheeks and a shy stance; knees knocking against his knobby ones while her dainty hands interlaced her fingers.

Revelation - 2.1k, the one where famous!y/n and harry are spotted together (pre-relationship)

Before there were Harry and Y/N--the power couple--there was Harry and Y/N.

Y/N, who was one of the most sought after female artists in the industry because of her angelic voice. The woman who had managed to catch the lingering stares of every household and the ears of many listeners with her truthful songs; narrative from the experiences she had gone through and shared through the art of songwriting.

Harry, who was quite the artist for the night. Harry’s limbs were being pulled metaphorically every which to ensure that the cameras captured him clapping respectfully in the audience. Others were asking him to stay for a bit more time backstage for content for an upcoming video. Right now, he was sat in his uncomfortable chair beside a handful of producers and well-known singers. A brief hug and whisper with Ariana Grande were enough for their fans to implode about a possible collaboration, granted that Harry had written a song for her album before. But Harry was certain that that feature wasn’t coming for a long while.

Apple Cheeks - 1.1k, the one where harry says something and y/n isn’t listening

Clearing his throat, he began, “I love you, Y/N. And I know that it might be too soon considering how short our relationship has been so far but I-I really do have strong feelings for you,”

Harry dropped his gaze as soon as he managed to peel off the first three words from his hoarse throat. “You don’t have to say it back. I just wanted to let you know that I really care for you and me. I definitely something for us in the future and I hope you feel the same,”

Dreadful seconds shivered up Harry’s spine. His stare was still fixed on her shuffling feet and the floor. It was painful to hear nothing but silence so Harry decided to courageously lift his head up.

Affliction - 1.5k, the one where Harry breaks down (TW: depressive thoughts)

It wasn’t even that Harry did not know how to say ‘no’ because he truly did. However, anyone would be worn-out by the amount of exhaustion carried on his back. That cold shudder of loneliness--even when he wasn’t alone-- because nobody shared the experience of defeat with him. The twitch of his ears straining to listen when nobody would do the same for him. A subtle jerk of the corners of his lips because he could not keep the smile plastered on his face like paint chipping off the drywalls. The flutter of tired lids waiting to be shut tightly as tears were wrung from his green eyes, lashes tickling his skin underneath the violent colour of his eye bags.

From the Dining Table - 748 words, the one where y/n’s new boyfriend looks a lot like harry

Y/N wondered if her former lover shared the same thoughts as she did. The girl that he woke next to—was she still there? Did they share the bed together—not just in the morning—but the nights as well? If so, did Harry love her like he did with Y/N? Or was he just pretending to be okay like she was?

Blanket for Two - 990 words, the one where y/n kicks harry out of bed

And now, Harry was in bed with the woman he loves. Her light snores echoing in the dim room and he was staring up at the ceiling, shivering in his bones. If she were awake, Y/N probably would have made a snide, joking comment about how he shouldn’t sleep naked, especially in the winter.  Not like she didn’t do that either--she was practically naked with the thin camisole over her body.  The difference was that Y/N had an extra layer of blanket keeping her warm, shielding her skin from the night air and Harry only had the friction of his palms rubbing against his arms.  He was sure that he was a hint away from his teeth chattering. Harry had half the mind to dip his freezing feet beneath the blanket and jolt her awake with the change in temperature.

That’ll show her, he thought.

Around 1:32 - 3.2k, the one where y/n has a wet dream

“What?” Harry spat, tugging his shirt over his head, waiting for you to form a coherent excuse. “‘Think that jus’ because you woke up horny from a dream that y’can touch yourself? What a slut.  Are you that desperate?”

Your cheeks flamed at his words of degradation, doubling your arousal and one that had you smushing your thighs together to relieve the ache. You rolled your eyes as he continued his rant instead of using the time to keep you satisfied.  That was his job, wasn’t it? To make you cum and make you feel nothing but pleasure, yet here he was shaming you for touching yourself. Granted, you did it without his permission and done so while he was asleep beside you, but still.

“Wouldn’t have touched myself if you treated me well.”

+ Stories in My Eyes - 1.2k, the one where dad!Harry gets woken up in the middle of the night

And while he liked to think that he had gotten the hang of—quite literally— his kid dangling on his leg like some sort of koala, pulling on his hair every time he gave Beau a piggy back ride, and the random visits late at night where the small child would stand at the doorway with his teddy bear so quietly only to say, “Can I sleep with you and mumma?” He was not at all prepared for tonight’s’ events.

+ Feather Boa - 1.5k, the one where harry comes home after the Grammys

Y/N rolled her eyes, “Oh, stop that!”

“Stop what?” Harry nudged the strap of his custom tote bag higher on his shoulder.

“You just won a Grammy, you goose!”

Harry’s gaze softened, endeared at how happy Y/N was for him. She was jumping on the tips of her toes, hands clasped in front of her as she stared at him with admiration and awe.

(s) Roughed Up - 2.8k, the one where harry’s domestic and y/n’s mind wanders

You whimper in return, almost collapsing straight on his body when Harry uses your body to move you up and down his cock. His curls flop on the soft pillow beneath his head, sweat matting the tiny hairs to his face. The way he looks at you with such intensity and a certain kind of awe as if he couldn’t believe that this was really happening is rewarding. Hooded eyes observing how your body twitches in his grip, gasping at how strong he felt underneath you like you were merely a ragdoll to be played wit

Pudding Cups - 1k, the one after harry steals food from the kitchen (Notes on Camp Extras)

“So is it common practice for counsellors to steal food from the kitchen?”

Harry lifts his head up at inquiry, shifting his attention from gently taking out the contents of the reusable bag towards Y/N.  She was laying on his mattress, flat on her back as she stared at the wooden ceiling.  If she looked closely, Y/N was sure that his light bulb was flickering the tiniest bit and usually, she would’ve been freaking out over the fact that she was in the middle of the woods, hovering over a potential power cut.  But the fear subsided once she reminded herself that Harry was around.

“Hopefully not,” He muses with a suggestive eyebrow.

Drabbles:

(s) Drabble #1: Fratboy!Harry - 469 words, the one where y/n meets fratboy!harry at a party

Y/N snapped her head towards the member. When she applied for the rush, she didn’t expect that she would have to sleep with someone in order to officially join the sorority.  “What? Why him?

Sadie chuckled, sensing the panic in her voice. “Don’t worry, Harry’s nice. Besides, everybody does it,” She swirled her drink around, mixing the liquids together. Her lashes draped over her cheeks, almost touching the apples. “Are you in?”

Drabble #2: Asshole!Harry - 848 words, the one where harry cheats

You were calm, silent, and patient to see where he would take the conversation. Guilt was not present when you stood face to face in a battle of tranquility that pierced through your heart. His eyes gleamed in concealed smugness while his tongue curled in endless apologies. You knew him too well that he didn’t even stand a chance to hide his true intentions. But to Harry, you were a naive little girl that failed to acknowledge the difference between his acting and the truth.

(s) Drabble #3: Tease - 1.4k, the one where harry teases y/n

Harry plunged two fingers in her hole carefully, biting his lip to suppress the sound he was bound to release from the feeling of her wet walls suffocating his digits. He delivered punctual thrust, making sure to graze her sensitive spot to heighten her arousal. “Harry,”

He stepped back abruptly, pulling his fingers out and creating distance between them. “We have dinner to get to,”

(s) Drabble #4: Dessert - 1.7k, the one where y/n makes dinner but harry wants dessert

His thoughts were always about her no matter how hard he tried not to. And the fact that she took the time out of her day to prepare him something that he will enjoy; well, Harry’s heart just about swelled up to three times the size in his thumping chest.

She pulled away, shaking her head adamantly, “No way! I spent all day cooking and you’re not gonna skip it just to eat my pussy,”

He the corners of his eyes squinted in offence at her description, “Your pussy’s top tier, baby.” Harry ‘tsked’ his tongue, “If yeh didn’t know that already, then I’m doing a horrid job,”

(s) Drabble #5: Mine - 579 words, the one where harry is obsessed with y/ns tits

But he couldn’t exactly do that when all Harry wanted to do was do her. The smooth skin was supported by a navy blue push-up bra; he could tell by the lace mesh that he could see peeking out. It gave Y/N every favour because Harry was trying so hard not to let saliva pool in his mouth and drip out in a line of drool, his eyes widening with each movement she made with her arms, jostling her boobs a little bit here and there.

“Hello? Can you hear me?” Y/N waved her arms to catch his attention. A frown creased her brows as he blinked sluggishly before finding enough coherence to recognize that she was trying to talk to him.

(s) Drabble #6: Early Mornings - 1k, the one where harry thinks y/n is prettiest in the morning

“Get to see ya’ when you’re most beautiful,” Harry tickled his nose on hers, smiling at the way the feature scrunched up as she giggled. He groaned at the contractions her walls gave while her tummy flipped in gentle laughter. “Oi! What’s so funny?” He smushed her face with kisses, pausing his thrust halfway through which had her whining.

Drabble #7: Getaway - 952 words, the one where harry is always cold in the mornings

"Y/N, have you taken my purple bathrobe?"

“No,” Y/N tugged the lavender coloured fabric by the sleeves first. Then, by the lapels draping over her chest, drawing them tighter to block the gust of wind currently caressing Harry’s floppy curls.

Twisting his body, a knowing look overtook Harry’s face as Y/N exited the cabin door. The sheepish smile on his lover’s face granting all the information he needed for this morning’s chilly inception.

There she was, clad in the said purple bathrobe.

Drabble #8: A Little Chilly - 451 words, the one where harry sleeps on the couch

“‘S my bed. Dunno why Lydia can’t jus’ stay on the couch,”

“It’s Y/N!” She wailed, walking closer to the doorframe with her arms crossed over her chest.

“Dear, we didn’t know that you were coming home,” Anne tried reasoning with him, not seeing the gravity of the situation as Harry was making it out to be.

Text Messages:

Text Messages #1 - ‘would you love me if I was snail?’

Text Messages #2 - ‘did you know we had a quiz today?’

Text messages #3 - ‘did you steal my hoodie?’

Notes/Behind the Scenes

Notes: Tarnish

Notes: Stressed Out

[hopelesshawks]

If you're still doing it, and if you feel inspired with the character : Bakugou Katsuki and the song "From Now On" from The Greatest Showman.

You can write with another character if this one doesn't inspire you!

Send me a song and a character (still open)

Ohhhh I love this!! Pro hero!Bakugo who let all the fame of being number 2 get in the way of his relationship me thinks. Thanks for sending this in 🥰

Bakugo used to love the fame and attention that came with being a top hero.

He used to love the way people would scream his name with stars in their eyes when they saw him; the way the idiots in suits over at the HPSC would congratulate him on his incident resolution rate; the way the press would sing his praises; the way his name sounded after the words Number Two Hero even though he’d much rather hear it after number one. He loved it all.

But you?

You fucking hated it.

You always said it was the worst part of hero work. The fans, the paparazzi, all of it grated on you. You hated that since Bakugo had cracked the top 10 you two couldn’t go on date night without getting blinded by cameras. You hated going to HPSC galas in an expensive outfit you’d never wear a second time, sipping overpriced champagne even though you’d be just as happy with something a tenth of the price. You hated that you couldn’t go on social media without seeing speculation about your relationship and your sex life literally everywhere or even worse hundreds of people all stating exactly why you weren’t good enough to be with the Bakugo Katsuki. But what you hated the most was the way Bakugo loved it; the way he preened under the praise, his chest puffing up with pride, ego absolutely blooming under all the superficial attention; the way he’d kiss you in front of paparazzi just so the headlines would be filled with mention of you being his. The rest you could deal with but it made your skin crawl how much he’d change when the public’s watchful eye was on him. At home he was the man you fell in love with, but the minute you left he regressed to the obnoxious asshole you’d first met during your first year at UA.

It was a recipe for disaster and in retrospect Katsuki really should’ve seen the break up coming. He can barely remember what had set off the argument in the first place, probably another gaudy headline or crude Twitter trend about the two of you. You’d been upset about it, raving about invasions of privacy and feeling violated and he’d been dismissive, the way he always was when it came to these things.

“It comes with the territory, just fuckin’ get used ta it already,” he had scoffed.

“The issue is you encourage it Katsuki! You care more about the fame and how good it makes you feel than you do how that added scrutiny makes me feel!” you fired back.

“Why can’t you just fucking deal with it??”

“I shouldn’t have to!”

“Well maybe if you did your fuckin ranking would be better!”

It was a low blow. Bakugo knew it then and he still knows it now. You try so hard to be the best hero you can be, but at the end of the day popularity plays a nontrivial role in the ranking system and being the “““just average””” significant other to one of Japan’s biggest rising stars isn’t a recipe for popularity.

“Get out….”

Your voice had been dangerously low. He’ll never forget the way it managed to sound both terrifyingly lethal and devastatingly heartbroken.

“Shit, wait (y/n) I didn’t mean that I-”

“I said get out!” you had yelled, voice quaking with pent up emotion as you started shoving him out the door. If he really didn’t want to move he could’ve easily resisted but at the time he’d been too shocked to even try, reeling backwards and letting you force him back into the hallway of your apartment building.

“Talk to me when Bakugo Katsuki comes back, I’m fucking sick of Pro Hero Dynamight,” you had said before promptly slamming the door in his face.

In the month that followed Katsuki threw everything into his work, taking longer shifts and pushing himself harder so that by the time he got home he was too beat up to feel the aching pain in his heart and too exhausted to notice his apartment didn’t feel like home the way yours did. He ignored the pitying looks from his friends, brushed off their concerned words and sympathetic gazes with grumbled “I’m fine”s and eye rolls. He filled the hole you left in him with the praise and admiration of the adoring public.

And then came the day you’d been warning him about since he first became a household name.

“The Cost of Victory: Pro Hero Dynamight destroys city during villain chase”

The story matched the headline, tallying up all of the damage he’d caused to buildings and other public property while trying to apprehend someone’s half ass attempt at recreating nomu. As shoddy as the thing was it could take a fucking hit and there was no denying the collateral damage was decently expansive. What the article failed to mention, however, was the amount of damage done before Bakugo had arrived on scene. It made sure to comment on the number of casualties in the incident but conveniently left out how much larger that number would be had Katsuki spent more time worrying about some stupid hunks of metal over catching the damn monstrosity and saving civilian lives. He guesses “Pro Hero Dynamight does his best despite being out gunned and having zero back up at his disposal” isn’t as catchy or clickworthy of a headline.

The very same websites showering him in praise just a day or two before now viciously rip into him. He can’t take a step outside his apartment without seeing article after article shredding him to pieces or getting a camera shoved into his face asking for comment on the criticism. His Twitter feed is full of former fans deriding him for falling short of perfection, calling him a narcissist, a showboat, a fucking menace to society as if he’s the sixteen year old kid chained up at the sports festival all over again. So he stops leaving his apartment entirely.

Kirishima is the one who finally gets him out again. The bar they go to is small, further away from the downtown area than most people are willing to stray. Between that and the fact it’s still relatively early in the evening, they have the place to themselves. The only other soul is the owner/bartender who seems entirely uninterested in the fact that Red Riot and Dynamight are patronizing his establishment. It’s perfect, giving Bakugo the space he needs to rant to his best friend. And rant he does. He lets it all pour out while he paces: the frustration, the rage, the disappointment, the guilt, until there’s nothing left in him except an aching sadness that has nothing to do with the fake fans and shitty headlines. “Y’know what the worst fuckin’ part is?” he rages, face red from bellowing for the past lord knows how long and tears already welling in his eyes at what he’s about to admit. Kirishima barely has time to ask what the worst part is before Katsuki is choking out around a frustrated sob “I wouldn’t even give a shit if I still had (y/n).”

Kirishima is out of his seat and pulling his friend into a hug in an instant. He lets Bakugo shake apart, doesn’t mind the tears soaking into his shirt or how tightly the other man is gripping onto him. He stands solid and firm, the same way he always has and always will for Katsuki until the sobs turn to hiccups. “They’re worried about you, you know,” Eijirou finally tells him. “Yea? How the fuck you figure that Shitty Hair?” Bakugo grumbles miserably into his shoulder. “They’ve called me every day since the article came out to check on you,” the red head admits and it’s enough to make Katsuki stiffen in his hold, scared to hope. “Really?” he asks, voice gruff but quiet. “Really. So are you gonna go to them or what?”

You’ve been staring at your phone for at least an hour, debating whether to call Bakugo or not, when a knock on your door snaps you out of your pained contemplation. You pull the long sleeves of the hoodie Bakugo gave you for your birthday down over your hands as you move to answer the door. Imagine your surprise when the very man who’d been plaguing your thoughts is the one standing outside your door. He looks rough. His hands are shoved into his pockets, back hunched over, face red and puffy, and even though he hasn’t looked you in the eye yet you can tell his are red rimmed. He’s been crying, you realize, and it breaks your heart a little. “Ya just gonna stand there or can I come in?” he asks and it snaps you out of your thoughts again. “Right yea sorry come in I guess,” you say, stepping out of the way to let him in.

He’s almost twitchy, like he wants to make himself comfortable the way he always used to but can’t. You wince a little when you realize it’s the correct assumption to make. Still he doesn’t say anything, he just stands there looking somehow simultaneously out of place and like he never left. “What are you doing here?” you finally sigh. “You said talk to you when Bakugo Katsuki came back and he—or I—or whatever did,” he mutters and a pang of something that feels suspiciously like guilt hits you at the words. “Oh… Is—is that all you wanted to say or?” He glares at a distant point over your left shoulder, presumably collecting his thoughts, before he finally meets your gaze. “Look I-” he breaks eye contact again, growling a little in frustration at himself as he continues to struggle to find words. You don’t say anything though, knowing he needs to work through it himself. “Things have been pretty shit for me lately,” he finally admits. You can’t help but scoff at the comment although one look at him and his pained expression has you regretting it. You clear your throat awkwardly. “Sorry, yea, keep going.”

He huffs before continuing and even though he still won’t meet your eyes you can tell how difficult this all is for him.

“Look things have been pretty fuckin’ shitty lately with everyone and their goddamn cousin in Japan hatin’ me but it’s made me realize some shit. I’ve been so fuckin’ focused on chasin’ the fame and the fans or whatever that I kinda forgot about the important stuff…”

He only trails off for a moment, steeling himself for whatever he’s about to say next. It’s almost funny how much it reminds you of him right before a big fight.

“But from now on,” he starts, finally meeting your gaze, puffing out his chest as if daring you to challenge whatever’s going to come out of his mouth next. “From now on I’m not gonna let all that stupid shit blind me alright? I promise, from now on I’m only focusin’ on the real people in my life, not the goddamn extras. Ok?”

His eyes are blazing as he finishes and it literally takes your breath away.

“Ok.”

“Ok, then….” he trails off, his eyes slide away again as his confidence wanes, “then can I come back home again?”

Your heart shatters and forms anew at the words as you find your feet moving before you’ve even told them to. You throw yourself into his arms, pulling him close, the jagged edges you both left in each other the night you broke up re-aligning and mending themselves. “Of course you can Katsuki, I’ve missed you,” you sigh, each word wrapped in relief and joy. “Fuckin’ missed you too dumbass,” he huffs back, although you don’t miss how wet it sounds. When you pull back it’s only a fraction and only so you can reel him in for a gentle kiss, pouring every missed I love you into it so there’s no room for doubting if you’ve truly forgiven him.

It’s a promise. A promise to do better from now on. And Katsuki means every single second of it.

General Taglist: @ahtsuwu @oikawaandkuroostan @oliviasslut @black-rose-29

[nugnthopkns]

dance me to the end of love (iv)

word count: 4.1k

warnings: fem!oc, cursing, alcohol consumption

series masterpost: here

a/n: my apologies for the delay!! life got crazy for a bit but i'm back with my two favourite idiot intellectuals

Magdalene stays busy to keep the loneliness at bay.

All of her friends have left Denver, doing whatever it is that hockey players and their partners do in the off-season. She never expected them to stay to keep her company, and would certainly never ask. Besides, they were all so excited to go home and visit family. How could she disrupt their happiness just so she wouldn’t feel so alone? It isn’t her fault that Ryan, Bette, and company aren’t estranged from their families like she is. At twenty-five she should be a little more self sufficient than what she currently is, but Magdalene is working hard at being kinder to herself.

To combat the pervasive loneliness Magdalene spends a lot of time in the heart of downtown Denver. Under normal circumstances she would hate the crowds, but now they comfort her. The swaths of tourists walking the streets and approaching her to take family photos make her feel like a part of something bigger than the pity she finds herself wallowing in often. Barn Owl Books also becomes a frequent retreat when she has downtime, and the owners enjoy when she brings Caligula around. Other patrons adore the white cat and he loves the attention.

One day as she’s leaving work, once again offering to stay late so June doesn’t have to, Magdalene’s phone rings. She contemplates not picking it up, wanting nothing more than to curl into bed with the novel she picked up at Barn Owl the other day, but she knows it must be important. No one ever calls her around this time unless it’s absolutely necessary. Digging the phone out of her pocket, she sees the number of her building superintendent Paul flashing on the screen.

“Hello?”

“Miss Stevenson?” he asks, voice tinged with the toughness that comes with dealing with upset renters on a regular basis.

Magdalene chuckles at the formality, pointing out he hasn’t called her by her last name since she moved in five years ago. “Yeah Paul, it’s me. What’s up?”

There’s the crackle of static on the phone line as the man clears his throat. “So, uh, some bad news.” Magdalene’s stomach twists into an intricate knot. She knows she paid rent on time and can’t think of another reason he’d call her. “A sprinkler main on the floor above yours burst about an hour ago, and it’s pretty bad. Your place definitely got hit the hardest because it’s directly under where the pipe burst. You’re going to have to move out for at least two months while we gut the place and start from scratch. How quickly can you come and get the things that are salvageable from your apartment?”

“Fuck.” This is the worst news Magdalene has ever received. “I can be there in fifteen minutes,” she panics, “But Paul, you’ve gotta go inside and check on my cat. He’s going to be freaking out.”

Paul agrees to visit Caligula after some prodding, and Magdalene drives much faster than she ever has before through the neighbourhood. It’s far from reckless, but she knows that it isn’t the safest course of action. A police officer stops her about three minutes from her final destination but lets Magdalene go after she explains the situation as calmly as possible.

Other tenants affected by the flood are already moving boxes down the stairs when Magdalene pulls up. Everyone is understandably grief stricken, but she can’t find it in herself to console them like she would under normal circumstances. All Magdalene cares about is making sure Caligula is okay. She sprints up the four flights of stairs and doesn’t even break a sweat, adrenaline flooding her veins. Her apartment door is ajar, most likely from Paul entering a few minutes ago, and she flings it open with more force than probably needed. It swings back violently on its hinges and makes a spectacular crash when it hits the wall.

“Caligula?”

“He’s in the bathroom,” Paul sighs. “I can’t get him out of the tub but he’s still breathing. Is he not scared of water?”

Magdalene lets out a breath of relief she didn’t know she was holding in. She treads deeper into the apartment, casually assessing the damage, before reaching the room in question. There, pressed against the far corner of the tub, is the fluffy white cat that Magdalene’s heart beats for most days. Paul is there too, leaning against the sink and shaking his head.

“Thank you,” Magdalene says sincerely. “I’ve got it from here.”

The superintendent exits the unit with a solemn goodbye and heads to the lobby, no doubt going to direct traffic flow and answer questions. It takes a few minutes but Magdalene coaxes the cat out of the tub and into her arms. She holds him tightly and whispers words of praise, knowing it will help to calm them both down. After an uncounted amount of minutes Magdalene moves them into the bedroom, that looks surprisingly intact upon first glance, and changes out of her work clothes and into something more suitable for rummaging around her destroyed home. Caligula climbs up her body and settles gingerly into the hood on her sweatshirt. She starts in the bedroom, and finds that the only thing that’s actually salvageable is the clothes in her closet. Grabbing the suitcase from the top shelf, Magdalene shoves everything inside of it and wheels it into the living room.

She spends the next few hours going through every room in a meticulous manner, desperate to keep relics from her life in Denver. The water did a number on her space and destroyed almost everything. All the furniture is a write-off, and most of her books and records are ruined. Two things that withstood the damage are faux marble busts of Augustus and Marcus Aurelius, which Magdalene packs into one of the boxes Paul dropped off. Everything else fits in three other boxes and they’re tucked into the trunk of her car before the sun sets. Paul insists that the demolition company will get rid of everything else and ensures her she won’t have to pay rent while the construction is going on. It isn’t much of a consultation, considering that Magdalene has no idea where she’ll be staying, but she thanks him anyways as she makes the final trip to her car with Caligula.

Once inside, Magdalene breaks down. She has no idea what to do – no one is in Denver to help her out and she can’t afford to stay in a hotel for however many months this is going to take to fix. Tyson and Bette will be back in just over a month, but Magdalene doesn’t want to bother them or guilt them into coming back early. She cries in the driver’s seat of her car for a while, Caligula on her lap and doing his best to lick up the tears streaming down her cheeks. Not knowing what else to do, she dials Ryan’s number. Though they haven’t been talking as frequently due to the time difference and Magdalene’s insistence he enjoys his time with family, she knows he’ll pick up and listen intently. He’ll also hopefully talk her down from the imaginary ledge she’s found herself on.

He picks up on the second ring. “How’s my favourite girl?” Ryan asks, and Magdalene can hear the smile in his voice. The combination of his voice and the words spoken has her choking on another sob. “Hey, hey, breathe.” Concern is now the primary emotion expressed through the phone line. “Mags, what’s the matter?”

It takes her a few seconds and multiple pads of Caligula’s paws into her stomach for Magdalene to calm down, but she eventually tells Ryan what happened. He listens just as she thought he would, and keeps her breathing steady with his voice. She cries a bit more before running out of tears, but Ryan keeps her focussed on anything but the shitty circumstance she’s found herself victim to – detailing how he skated with Nate earlier in the day and just how many times his teammate kicked his ass. Hearing the mundane story helps more than Magdalene thought it would, and when Ryan asks her where she’s going to stay she responds with a relatively strong voice.

“I’m just going to sleep in my car.”

“Fuck no you aren’t.” The certainty in which Ryan utters the words takes Magdalene by surprise. For someone so far away, he has a lot of opinions on what she should be doing.

She sighs. “There isn’t another option Ry. I can’t afford a hotel for the months my apartment is going to be out of commission and there’s no point in renting another place.”

“Stay with me.”

A series of flabbergasted noises come out of Magdalene’s dropped jaw, but she can’t form any words. Ryan continues, “Think about Caligula. Being cramped in a car isn’t going to be good for him. Or for you. I have an extra bedroom you can call your own for as long as you need. Please Mags.”

Truthfully, it’s the best she’s going to get. Bette and Tyson offered to house a couple of rookies this season, meaning their spare rooms are filled, and there’s no one else she’s close enough with to think about asking. “I don’t want to intrude,” she sighs, but it isn’t a very convincing deflection.

“I want you there,” Ryan insists, “And little boots too.”

It takes them a while to work out the logistics, but Ryan makes a couple of calls and lets the doorman of his building know Magdalene is moving in. He also books a flight for the next day, and ensures her that he’s more than ready to come back to Colorado. They talk for a few more minutes, and in that time she gets directions to her temporary home. Once Ryan hangs up with well wishes and a see-you-soon, Magdalene looks in her rear-view mirror and sets out for a part of Denver she never thought she’d live in.

☼☼☼☼

When Magdalene calls Bette to fill her in on what’s been going on while on the way to pick Ryan up from the airport, the blonde is taken aback by the surplus of information. “Hold on,” she breathes, “Ryan’s coming back to Denver?”

“What part of ‘I’m on my way to the airport to pick up Ryan’ was confusing?” Magdalene laughs.

Her friend doesn’t find the jest funny. “Fuck off.” The comment only increases Magdalene’s laughter, but Bette forges on with the conversation. “Can you recap the events that led to Ryan leaving home nearly three weeks early?”

Magdalene indulges her friend, explaining for what feels like the hundredth time that her apartment was destroyed in a flood and that Ryan offered her his spare bedroom and that he was coming home so she wouldn’t be alone in the unfamiliar environment. Bette listens in silence, and Magdalene imagines she has a shit-eating grin plastered on her face. She’s made quite a few comments about how friendly the two of them seem, but Magdalene does her best to shrug them off. Ryan can just be her friend, a great one even, without Bette projecting her need to have her best friend to have an identical lifestyle to her. Even if she’s right, and Magdalene does want there to be something more between her and Ryan.

“Hold the phone.” Magdalene hears Tyson shout, no doubt getting closer to his girlfriend so he can join in on the conversation. “Gravy’s letting you stay at his place?”

“Yeah…” she trails off, unsure about what wasn’t clear this time.

Tyson hums as though he’s an old-school anthropologist who just made an astute observation about the group they’re studying. “Interesting.”

“How so?”

“Well for starters, he barely lets us hang out at his place,” Tyson explains. “I think I’ve been there maybe twice. So that’s new. Is Caligula staying with you?”

Magdalene is completely confused. “Why wouldn’t he be? He’s my cat.”

“How does Gravy feel about it?”

“What the fuck are you getting at Tys?” Magdalene asks, but there’s a bite to the question. She’s tired of the impromptu interrogation he’s providing. “Because Ryan was excited to have him around. Last night I sent him a video of little boots prancing around the condo like he owned the place and he thought it was hilarious.”

Bette, who had been silent for several minutes, gasps loudly. Tyson laughs, but Magdalene can tell it’s riddled with disbelief. “Mags,” he says gently, though with more than enough teasing laced in, “Gravy isn’t a big pet guy.”

The comment hits Magdalene like a tonne of bricks. What is she supposed to do with that information? There’s only ten more minutes until she gets to the airport, and she needs time to push Tyson’s comment to the back of her brain and collect herself. Magdalene gives a rushed farewell before hanging up the phone and checking her rearview mirror and blindspots. The radio filters back through the car speakers, but she doesn’t hear it, too caught up in what Ryan allowing Caligula to share his space means. There’s little traffic on the off-ramp and before she knows it Magdalene is pulling into a parking space and killing the engine.

She grabs the messily scribbled welcome home banner from the back seat before locking the doors and heading inside to the arrivals section. The inside of the airport looks similar to the empty parking lot – it’s a Tuesday after all. Only a few others wait with her for the plane, and many chat idly amongst themselves. Magdalene stays off to the side in an attempt to not get sucked into a conversation about the upcoming thunderstorm. Passengers slowly trickle through the open door, and Ryan is easy to spot. He towers above everyone and is carrying a rather large bag of hockey equipment. Magdalene smiles at the sight of him, unable to help herself. It’s been nearly a month and a half since she’s seen him and being apart for that long is something she never wants to do again.

“Hi,” she breathes as he approaches, waving awkwardly while she speaks. It’s as though she hasn’t spent countless hours talking with him about every possible topic her mind could dream up.

Ryan doesn’t feel the tension, or if he does he doesn’t say anything. Instead, he wraps her in a tight hug that lasts a touch longer than one with just a friend should, especially in public. Magdalene tries hard not to melt into his side but it’s nearly impossible – Ryan has a magnetic pull that tugs on her heartstrings and makes her insides feel fuzzy. Others bustling around the terminal start to give them strange looks, and it’s only then that Ryan clears his throat and untangles his arms from Magdalene’s waist.

He smiles down at the strong-willed brunette with kind eyes and shoulders his bag once more. “Let’s go home.”

☼☼☼☼

It takes a few days to settle into a routine, but once they do it’s glorious. Training camp doesn’t start for another three weeks, so Ryan spends his day doing light workouts and chilling with Caligula while Magdalene is at work. Once she gets home they make dinner and watch West Wing reruns on the cable network Ryan didn’t know he was even paying for. Their lives fit together seamlessly and it surprises Magdalene just how much she missed having a roommate – Bette moved out after their sophomore year of college, and it’s been just her and Caligula ever since. Though the personal space is nice, she likes being able to hear Ryan laugh at the meme she just sent or knocking on his door in the middle of night to ask if he wants ice cream.

Magdalene wakes up one Saturday to complete silence. It’s unsettling considering she hasn’t heard that since adopting her pet – Caligula sleeps next to her head and breathes loud enough that she’ll never have to buy a white noise machine. She notices her door is slightly ajar and hears soft noises coming from the living room. Ryan must be taking a day off, Magdalene notes, because he’s typically out of the house by seven and it’s currently five minutes past eight. She rolls out of bed and stumbles into the ensuite, brushing the tangles out of her hair and washing her face.

Not bothering to change out the pyjama pants and hoodie she stole from Ryan, Magdalene pads into the sunlit living room to see her roommate doing yoga. On a tiny mat beside him is Caligula, stretching his limbs like he’s following along with the tutorial. The sight is adorable, and before she can think twice about it Magdalene is snapping a photo of the two of them and posting it to her Instagram story.

“You trying to whip my cat into shape Graves?” Magdalene teases, weaving around them and plopping onto the couch, bringing her knees to her chin and holding in a yawn.

Ryan laughs, loud and care-free, and Magdalene wishes he could record the sound and play it on loop. “He kept trying to sit underneath me and I didn’t want to hurt him. I read somewhere that if you give a cat something similar to what you’re doing they’ll leave you alone. Guess it really works.”

Her heart constricts in the best way possible. Ryan continues to go above and beyond to make her and Caligula welcome and doesn’t seem to mind they’re the ones invading his space and not the other way around. There’s still twenty minutes left on the YouTube video he’s watching, so Magdalene pushes herself off the expensive leather sectional and into the kitchen. The least she could do is make breakfast. Deciding on pancakes, Magdalene gets to work prepping the batter and warming up the frying pan. She hums absentmindedly to the Joni Mitchell song playing on the small radio she placed in the kitchen window. Music always made cooking more enjoyable for her, and Ryan doesn’t seem to mind the device taking up space.

The island is set and the food ready by the time Ryan slides into his seat, small beads of sweat lingering on his forehead from the workout. Magdalene resists the urge to wipe them away and instead busies herself with placing the right amount of berries on his plate.

“Mags,” Ryan calls softly, pulling her out of her mind and back down to Earth. “That’s more than enough. Sit down and eat before it gets cold.”

They eat in silence until Caligula appears, meowing for whatever scraps he can get his hands on. Against Magdalene’s pleas Ryan feeds him a blueberry. The cat sniffs it inquisitively before swallowing it, though it comes up again a few moments later.

“You’re cleaning that one up bud,” she laughs, bending down to make sure Caligula is okay before rinsing her plate in the sink.

“Fuck.”

Ryan does as he’s told and helps Magdalene with the dishes before getting ready to head out for an unofficial team meeting. Camp starts in a few days and Gabe wants to get together and make sure they’re all on the same page before barreling head-first into the season. He promises to pick them up a late lunch of sandwiches from Barn Owl and Magdalene follows him to the door to say goodbye. It feels natural, like they’ve always shared this routine, and she knows that Ryan feels it too because he wraps her in a tight hug before petting Caligula one last time and slipping out the door.

Bette calls soon after he leaves and grills Magdalene on all the details of her new living arrangement. She’s still in Canada, spending a few more days there than Tyson to help his mom and sister finish unpacking their things at the house they recently purchased.

“So, have you kissed him yet?”

The question is asked in such a casual, Bette-like manner that Magdalene barely chokes on her water. “Bee, what the fuck?”

“Oh come off it Mags,” she sighs, “You like him. He likes you. The two of you live together now. It’s only a matter of time before the friendship turns into something more.”

The blonde is right about at least one thing – Magdalene has developed a steady crush on Ryan. She should have known being in such close proximity to him all the time would put her feelings into overdrive. However, she didn’t have another option other than to accept his offer when it was proposed nearly a month ago, so Magdalene is now being forced to deal with the repercussions.

“I have, in fact, not kissed Ryan,” Magdalene huffs. “But I’ve thought about it once or twice.”

A squeal tears from Bette’s throat and she forces her friend to share the details. Magdalene obliges mostly to get her off her back, but it does feel good to talk about it with someone. It’s a very long time since she’s had romantic feelings for anyone, and Magdalene is nearly giddy with excitement over the possibility of new-found love by the time Ryan gets home. She says farewell to Bette and promises to come over as soon as they're both in the same city again.

It’s later than both of them expected, so they decide to forgo lunch and instead cook an early dinner. Ryan wants chicken and Magdalene wants spaghetti, so naturally they compromise on a carbonara without the pork. The radio is cranked to the highest volume as they work, both singing along and in their own little worlds. Magdalene is in charge of cooking the pasta and Ryan sets about making the sauce, and more than once she catches him looking at her while he’s supposed to be stirring the mixture. She can’t be too mad, however, because each time their eyes meet she’s supposed to be doing her job too. Before too much time has passed the meal is ready. It cools on two plates while Caligula is fed and wine is poured – the former done by Magdalene because the cat still isn’t quite comfortable enough with Ryan. Once sitting, they raise their glasses in a silent toast and dig in. The pasta tastes heavenly, and Magdalene makes sure to say so.

“Oh my god this is delicious,” she nearly moans, “You have to make this like every night.”

Ryan laughs and raises his fingers in mock salute. “You got it boss.”

Conversation flows into how they spent their hours apart – Ryan gushing about how good it was to see his teammates again and Magdalene talking about how she caught up with Bette on the phone. She of course left out the part where she confessed feelings for her best friend to her other, more senior best friend. Dinner passes in the blink of an eye and soon the two of them are standing side by side at the sink, elbows knocking occasionally as they do the dishes.

“Want to watch a movie tonight?” Ryan asks nonchalantly. “You said earlier this week you wanted to see Clueless again.”

Magdalene smiles – of course he would remember this offhand comment she made a few days ago about the classic. “That sounds fantastic. Can you finish putting these away? I’m going to pop a couple blankets in the dryer to warm up and see if I can get a nice picture of the sunset for Bette, she mentioned on the phone that she’s missing it.”

“She literally hasn’t changed time zones!”

Laughter tumbles from Magdalene’s lips as she slips out of the kitchen. Two fluffy blankets are pulled from the back of the couch on her way down the hall and tossed into the machine. Grabbing the same sweater of Ryan’s she was wearing earlier in the day from the foot of her bed, Magdalene heads for the balcony door and slips through the glass.

The city is nearly silent. Cars pass under Ryan’s balcony like blips in the night, but they don’t dare touch the peaceful atmosphere radiating from Magdalene. She’s had one of the best nights of her life, just her and Ryan laughing over glasses of wine and the pasta dish they cooked together. It’s all so domestic and charged with stolen glances and soft smiles that Magdalene knows it’s more than two friends living together for a short period of time. There’s been a fundamental shift in their relationship but she doesn’t know how to address it, or if she even wants to despite her looming attraction. Being with Ryan is so easy that she forgets it’s only temporary. Realistically she knows it can’t last forever, but she finds herself hoping each day Paul will call and tell her the rebuild is taking longer than expected.

Ryan calls her inside, informing her the blankets are out of the dryer and the movie she picked out days ago is queued up on the television. Magdalene takes a deep breath and finishes her glass of wine in one gulp. Hopefully he won’t notice when she casually leans in and rests her head on his shoulder halfway through the film.

☼☼☼☼

taglist: @scrunchmakar @marcoscandellas @toplinetommy @samsteel @lovethepreds @cutiesara23 @hockeyallthetime @stlbluesbrat21 @denis-scorianov @danglesnipecelly @c-tangerine @stormingroses @spine-buster (add yourself to the taglist!)

[uglyshirtsinc]

AIGHT HERE WE GO BUCKLE UP!! Endermen hybrids Illumina, Purpled, and Ranboo! With a sprinkle of Technodad and Sonboo, a drizzle of Little Brother Purpled and Big Brother Punz, with a side of Illumina and Fruit friendship! Less go! This was meant to be a ramble but literally ended up a fic outline?? Could even be read as a fic if you wanted??? What the hell 6 am me???

Endermen hyrbid are valuable because since they're half human instead of making enderpearls they make eyes of ender, and they respawn like humans do so they're used to farm ender eyes.

Ranboo meets Illumina and Purpled after being kidnapped and separated from his dad at the wee age of eleven meets sixteen year old Illumina and eleven year old Purpled.

He's tossed into a cell with the two of them, Illumina being there to calm the younger two down after being used for the farm. Whenever Illumina is brought back to the cell, he cares for the boys and dotes on them, acting much more worried and clingy that normal. They let him take care of them, knowing that keeping them safe calms him.

They talk about their lives before being taken, Illumina talks about the adventures he and his friend Fruit would go on. The dangerous things they did. He promises the boys to one day show them cool tricks, using the excuse of "the cell is too tiny and someone would get hurt" as to why he can't show them off there, not wanting to tell them the little portions of food he recieves (even less considering he gives most to the boys) has eaten away at his strength.

Purpled talks about his adoptive brother Punz who's just a bit older than Illumina, at age seventeen. How he was a cool mercenary hired to do "super secret" stuff and protect people. He tells them about his trident and tomahawk.

When Ranboo opened up, it gave Illumina his first real sense of hope he's had in a long time. Ran talks about his dad, emperor of the Antarctic Empire and faithful patron of the powerful Blood God. Illumina had heard of the Arctic Empire's hybrid son and after story after story began to believe that Ran really was the prince of the Empire. Ran's father obviously loved him, each story leaving him in tears of either longing or laughter. His father would be searching for them, and he would find them.

Weeks turned to months and nothing changed, until Ran was on the floor screaming in pain and Purpled was hiding in the corner wailing in fear. Illumina could hear cracking, popping, and spotted two hard lumps just next to Ranboo's shoulder blades and realized he wasn't just some Enderman hybrid, but rather a dragon hybrid. When the pain finally subsided and their captors returned to take the two young boys Illumina knew what he had to do.

He didn't know much of Gods and patrons, only what he read while searching the strongholds with Fruit after their latest adventure.

Patrons were messy, being worthy to have one and be a follower was even messier. But within that moment, he didn't care. Thousands of voices in his head was better than having to witness those monsters that held them captive force Ran to cough and gag and wheeze in attempt to get Dragons Breath from the boy. It was worth it to return Purpled to his brother, to see the boys eyes light up the same way they did when Ran said his dad would save them. And for just a moment, Illumina let himself be selfish. It was worth it to get to hold his best friend close, to be strong enough to scale buildings and run from golems they'd messed with. To see the sunrise over a snowy mountain, to show the world he was faster, stronger, and smarter than anyone imagined.

Cutting his hand on a jagged rock sticking from the walls that he had warned the boys about so often, be used his own blood to draw the symbol. When it glows and the world fades, stands before him a towering man with hair as white as snow, wearing the finest attire fit for a king, dressed in gold with everything he wore.

Wordlessly, a deal is made and as their hands shake Illumina is staring into dark, ruby red eyes sparkling with a beast like excitement. The Blood God speaks and tells him "They have been waiting." And Illumina knows what he means.

When the world returns, his ragged and dirty clothes are replaced by the ones he would wear before the monsters took him. A pouch of emeralds hangs from his belt and a familiar black mask covers his nose and mouth. His strength has returned, but at a cost he has yet to find out.

There's no whispers, no cries, no one yelling in his head. There's no insanity blocking his train of thought. No amnesia. He is Illumina.

He wraps himself with the one thin blanket they were allowed, curling up near the gate to keep himself and his clothes covered.

Purpled is first to return and Illumina places a figer over his lips, signaling Purpled to stay quiet. When Ran returns, it takes Illumina less than thirty seconds to have the monstrous man on the ground unconscious. Ran and Purpled watch in awe as he checks the horrid man for anything of value to them. A ring of keys, a pouch of coin, an iron sword, and a map are all Illumina deems worthy.

While his strength has returned, he's mindful of the boys and their weak bodies. He carries Purpled on his back, the violet eyed boy the smallest out of them all.

It takes hours to escape their prison mostly undetected. When they do, Illumina grabs the first horse he can find that's saddled up and tells the boys to hold on as he rides off.

The map was appreciated beyond comprehension. It doesn't take long to find a town and get the boys proper clothing that will survive the journey to the Arctic. Keeping them close and their heads down they get what they need tools wise and leave before the sun can even set.

It's hard, telling Purpled that he'll have to wait even longer to see his brother, but promises once they return Ranboo home that Punz can come there to take him home. If Illumina must admit, he chooses Technoblade first because once it hits the news of the princes return and Illumina's name is spread, he hopes Fruit will come and find him, even if they have to meet in the middle.

Throughout the terror and pain, they push through. From the nights they got separated, Purpled clinging to Ran and assuring the dragon hybrid Illumina will find them, fighting off zombies when Ran couldn't stand straight to hold a sword. The relief when Illumina scoops them both into his arms and holds then tighter than before.

With hunters hot on their tail they can't afford to stop and it takes four months itself to reach the borders between the Arctic Empire and whatever land they found themselves in.

Ran's wings have grown in, one a dark, scaley black with brilliant green in the folds between each bone. The other is a is white and reminds Illumina of a jellyfish, bits and tassles hanging from the wing giving it a much more fragile, paper thin appearance. Both are incredibly strong, despite their looks, and it's often the intimidation factor the two wings bring that gets them out of sticky situations.

A year has passed since they've been held in captivity, Illumina now seventeen and the boys twelve.

Illumina buys the cheapest tickets to the Empire, having to hold Ran's hand to keep him from teleporting ahead in excitement. He cries multiple times, the feeling of finally being free and so close to home hitting him like a truck. Illumina sees the excitement on Purpleds face, knowing after Ran he gets his family too.

They arrive on the island and immediately Ranboo is dragging them the way to the inner walls. Claiming to know his home like the back of his hand. Passing by a few guards, Purpled asks why they don't just tell the guards they have the prince.

"The guards were the whole reason Ranboo ended up where he was, plus they could try killing us immediately thinking we took Ran. I can't risk putting you two in any more danger." Is the reply he gets.

They teleport to the other side of the walls easily, walking to the other, and teleporting. This repeats for two days till they reach the inner most wall. Techno stands on a platform in the town center, his expression showing no emotion and stance as proper as ever. Just watching him stand so straight makes Illumina's back ache.

Ranboo sobs on the spot and before he can call for his father and rush forward a hand is placed on Illumina's shoulder with a harsh grip.

The guard asks who they are, saying they most definitely are not meant to be there, and within that moment a rage so heavy it hits Illumina like a tidal wave.

A year of torture and pain, months of walking and risking his life to get here and right as he can reach it someone stops him. Illumina barely registers it before the boys jump back screaming and he's pulled his sword out to hit the other man.

He faintly hears cries of "Harvey!" As more people rush towards them. He can only focus on his blade pressing against the man, Harvey's, sword and the deep laughter filling his mind.

"It seems you've finally been broken into." The Blood God thinks aloud.

He yells for Ran to run to his dad who's being ushered of stage, his speech being cut short.

Ran looks between his father who has yet to notice him and then back to Illumina who's risked so much for him. To Purpled, who looks horrified and is trying his hardest to pull back Illumina.

And he chooses them.

Jumping between Illumina and Tapl he unfurls his large wings and yells out with a slightly staticy voice "Stop!"

And it's as if the world has stopped, the Blood God no longer speaking in Illumina's mind, Purpled can sag his shoulders in relief, and all eyes are on them.

He looks into Tapl's heterochromatic eyes and in a voice barely above a whisper says "Stop attacking my family."

Tapl steps back, the other guards step back. All can easily recognize the missing Prince, from the two-toned hair to the sparkling eyes only he possesses.

His name is breathed out and demands attention. Ranboo turns to gaze at his father from across the short distance and it's real.

They meet in the middle and Ran holds his father like a scared child, and Techno allows himself to crumble and cry. He cries for the child thought to be dead, stolen from him by those he trusted. He cries for the year and months he's spent separated from him. They cry together, and tears of pent up pain turn to tears of happiness. His grandfather and uncles appear soon enough, he's wrapped in hugs so tight and a pair of wings so warm he could fall asleep.

Purpled and Illumina and thanked for bringing him back, and all Illumina asks is for them to help them find their homes. A message is sent far and wide of Purpled's reappearance and it takes less than a month for a blonde boy, fresh i to adulthood to come crashing through the castle doors and Purpled to find himself wrapped in his big brothers arms once more.

Punz sobs so loudly it's heard from across the palace, clinging to his baby brother and cradling him like a baby.

You'd think after the royal family just about got on their knees to thank him, Illumina would be used to it and stop being so embarrassed, but something about seeing Purpled light up like he's dreamed of seeing the boy do and finally getting to see with his own two eyes the brother he talked about makes him very thankful for the mask there to hide his flushed cheeks.

Ranboo and Purpled aren't ready to let go, so Punz stays with his brother in the castle for awhile.

Illumina is asked thousands and thousands of questions, where they were taken, how they escaped, etcetera.

He takes Techno aside and confesses the deal he made in return for their freedom. He confesses he has yet to know what he's given up to the Patron and his fears. He confesses that He couldn't bare the thought of young Purpled loosing his hope and being raised in a place like that, Ranboo being hurt worse and worse for bottles of acidic breath.

He apologizes for being selfish and wanting to find his family.

And for the first time in forever, he's being held in the safety of a warm hug. He gets to cry and be comforted, he gets to be weak.

It takes longer, but one day new face appears and after four years he breaths in that ridiculously sweet scent of green apples and sweet fruits that Fruit Berries always had. He hugs his friend once again.

They show the boys their tricks, as Illumina promised. They watch them do stupidly dangerous things that make Phil, Techno, and Wilbur flinch and jump to catch the two seventeen year olds, always groaning in faux annoyance watching them land safely, Phil claiming this'll give him a heart attack and Wilbue and Techno agreeing their stupid (while impressive) actions are gonna be bad influences on their sons. Wilbur calls it quits after they manage to drag Punz in, the mercenary dueling the two of them and trying to see whether strength or agility are better. Purpled is torn between cheering for either family member and just yells words of encouragement a lot.

For once in a long long time, they're safe.

[thebmatt]

FFXIV Write 2021 Prompt #22: Fluster

Fluster – make someone agitated or confused.

Aetherytes were constantly busy. You learned pretty quick to move away from one as soon as you manifested next to one, lest someone suddenly appear next to you and knock you both down.

Old Man Franks, tired as he was, almost forgot this, and only barely missed being clipped by an arriving Roegadyn armed with an enormous spear on his back.

He quickly moved out of the plaza and cast a quick glance about, and then raised his hand to his ear, activating his linkpearl

Rheika’s voice answered him. “Heya Franks. You get to the Toll already?”

“Yeah, I’m here. I take it you’re not?”

“Not yet. Fearless isn’t answering her ‘pearl, so Dahk and I went to her place. Ranaa said she and Makoto went to the Sekiseigumi HQ, so we’re headed there. Turns out she left it at home. Again. Anyway, go on in and figure out what’s going on, we’ll be there as soon as we find her. “

“Copy that. Hopefully whatever this is can be resolved fast. I need to catch up on some sleep.”

“Did you stay up all night working on cross-world portals again?”

“I admit nothing, see you soon.” He disconnected the link before she could chastise him further and headed into the Seventh Heaven bar. A few of the regular patrons tossed greetings his way, which he returned as best he could in his sleep-deprived state,

The bouncer who guarded the door to the Rising Stones nodded at him and stepped aside. Franks strode in, turning to shut the door behind him quietly. Darn thing tended to slam, he’d been meaning to install something to slow it down. Maybe after some rest today.

“All right, Tataru, what is this emergency…about…” Midway through his sentence, he’d turned to face the room. Sitting at one of the table were Tataru, Y’shtola, and someone who shouldn’t be there. Someone who couldn’t possibly be there. Because she was dead.

Standing up at the table, hand over her mouth and tears streaming from beautiful sea-green eyes that he hadn’t witnessed in years, was a viera woman that happened to be the spitting living image of the woman he’d married so long ago.

She dropped her hand, looking for all the world as happy as the day they’d wed. “Hello, my love.”

Twelve forfend, it sounded like her too. “What the hells is this? No…you’re dead, this is some kind of trick!” He pointed a shaking finger. “You’re a godsdamned Ascian, you HAVE to be! How the hells did you make someone look like her??”

She ran to him. “Darling, no, it’s me, I swear it!” She moved in close, trying to embrace him, but he backed away, shock and anger on his face.

“Fandaniel, that you? Because you just crossed a fucking line, you piece of filth, and I’m going to make you regret it!”

The woman looks over to Y’shtola, panicking. “He…what’s happening, who does he think I am?”

Y’shtola has already moved next to her, wrapping an arm around her shoulder and holding the other with her hand. “Aleister, I swear to you on my life, this is not a trick. Do you remember how Rheika unmasked Elidibus, by tricking him about the Amaro? It proved that an Ascian can’t access memories of their hosts, do you recall that?”

He had stopped backing away, but his eyes didn’t waver from the woman who looked like his wife. He nodded.

Y’shtola looked to her. “Tell him something that only you would know. Something you’d never reveal under even the gravest duress.”

Her eyes danced back and forth, considering, thinking. Finally, they widened and she smiled again. Closer and closer, she approached him, but now he didn’t move. Could….could it be?

She whispered in his ear and he cried out in joy. His world faded, and there was nothing more than the woman in front of him. He pulled her in, crushing against her. Her arms wrapped around his back and pulled in just as strong. So many sensations, so many memories flooded him, and he took all of them in. The scent of her, the feel of her living body preseed to him, the sound of her voice as she whispers her love between sobs. He could not reply, too overwhelmed to cry and breathe.

Tataru moved next to Y’shtola, unable to take her eyes off of the embracing pair. “It…it really is her.”

Y’shtola nods.

“But…how?”

“I think that story is best told to us from them. Once everyone has joined us. I think our resident Old Man may finally be ready to open up, since the loss that caused him so much pain is no longer lost at all.”

Finally, Franks was able to catch his breath and he pulled back to look at her. He kept her close, arms wrapped around her waist, as though he feared she might vanish into mist if he let go. For her part, she likewise kept her arms solidly behind his neck. “Gwen….I…I don’t understand. They…multiple people told me they saw you get taken by Sylvanas’ death squads. We…” He hiccuped. Taking a deep breath to calm himself, he kept going. “We scattered when we heard you got taken…that’s, that’s how I ended up here.”

She smiled. “They were right. I was put in with dozens of others, taken to a camp somewhere in Hillsbrad, couldn’t tell you where exactly. We were lined up. Living prisoners had their names taken, checked off a list, then executed right then and there. Some were….were fed to the soldiers. Others to plaguehounds. But for whatever reason, they didn’t kill the Forsaken. Maybe she had sentimentality about us, or maybe she planned to do it later, but we were just shoved into a makeshift prison and left there. We got food occasionally, but no interaction otherwise. Just neverending boredom. Zenjulin and Beskar finally found the place and killed off the few remaining loyalists that still manned it, freeing us.”

She shuddered. “By that point, the Banshee had fucked off to…wherever it was she went. I don’t know. Zenjulin explained it, but I wasn’t listening very well. Or he was missing details, I don’t know. Anyway, he said that our allies were being brought back together to stop her and whatever else she’d brought with her, but that you were still missing. I told them I refused to do anything until I found you. They understood, and I started tracking your movement. Which was hard, because you’d concealed them well, but eventually I made it to Stranglethorn and discovered the cave, the one Y’shtola tells me you came to that same one and it brought you here.”

Franks looked over to Y’shtola, who smiled. “I went there to take some readings, and found her emerging out of the cave. Once I realized who she was, I brought her straight here and had Tataru contact you.”

“Thank you.”

She shook her head. “There is nothing to thank.”

Franks looked back to Gwen. “I… gods, Gwen, you look like the day I asked you to marry me. Even despite all the years, both living and dead, I recognized you right away. I…I actually hallucinated last night…I saw you. Worked for too long without sleeping again. You looked…almost exactly as you do now.” He chuckles. “You uh…you didn’t have these, though”.

He reached up to stroke the fur of her ears. She made a very happy noise at the touch. “Okay, those are definitely a little sensitive, good to know.” She cuddled up against his shoulder, enjoying the sensation.

Eventually he stopped and pulled back again, looking her over. Everything was the same, her long graying hair, two green eyes, one slightly darker than the other, on a heart-shaped face. Everything save the ears. He vaguely recalled the shape of her human ears, but they were no longer there.

She giggled. “I…I don’t know what changed me or why it gave me my youthful body with these ears, honestly. You, though, you look a little bit older than the day you asked me to marry you. Maybe…around our 10th anniversary, I’d guess? Bit more white though, not that I mind. That haircut’s definitely a lot better, someone’s been taking care of you on that front, I see.

She placed her hands on his arms, rubbing them appreciatively. She moves them to his chest and down to his abs, sculpted like they’d been in his younger days from long hard hours of farmwork. “And I see you’ve definitely been taking care of the rest of you. Been way too long since I’ve seen these muscles.” she purred.

Franks laughed nervously. “Well, um….you get a second chance like this, you tend to appreciate and take care of things you took for granted…before.” His hands slipped down to her hips.

Their eyes met, growing lidded. Slowly, he ran his hands up her sides, appreciating every ilm of her curves, ghosting the sides of her breasts. He pulled her close, and their lips met in a kiss they’d not been able to share in decades.

Memories of all of their favorite intimate moments with the other flooded their minds, and both had a realization that those moments could now not only be remembered, but now relived. The rest of the world had long been forgotten and their kisses and touches became more heated when the world suddenly reminded them that it was still there.

“Ahem”

The pair broke, looking in the direction of the voice. The other Warriors of Light and the senior members of the Scions of the Seventh Dawn had all entered and were staring at the pair in varying levels of confusio

Rheika spoke up. It had been her voice that broke into their moment, Franks realized. “I hate to interrupt your moment, I swear I do, but uh…didn’t we have some kind of emergency? Also, um, who is this? Not that you don’t deserve to kiss someone that gorgeous, but I feel like I’m missing part of the story here.”

Franks laughs. Both he and Gwenefyr have turned beet red having realized just how much of a crowd their reunion had attracted. “Ah, yes. Um, well, everyone…allow me to introduce you all to Gwenefyr Franks. My…not quite late wife, as it turns out”

She giggled at that. “Hi, everyone. Y’shtola’s told me a little about you all. I…think I recognize at least some of you from her stories.”

Franks looked over everyone. Thancred, Estinien, and Alisaie weren’t even masking their suspicion. Dahkar, Alphinaud, and Rheika wore expressions of shock. Fearless looked like she was going to explode with joy. Urianger just looed perplexed.

It was Thancred who stepped forward. “Franks….are you sure? I mean, we’ve seen the Asicans puppet dead bodies before..

He immediately shook his head. “No, no, I thought the same thing. But remember, Elidibus didn’t have access to Ardbert’s memories so Y’shtola asked her to tell me something only she would know. It…it’s definitely her.”

Gwen took his hand and looked to the gunbreaker. “Thancred, right?”

Thancred nodded.

“Y’shtola told me you’d probably be the hardest to convince. I don’t know what to say or do to prove to you that I’m not a…..Asican, was it? But I’ll do whatever it takes to prove it to you. To all of you. Because I’m not going anywhere.” She looked up to her husband. “Right?”

He looked right back to her, his eyes sad. “I…don’t think I can go back there again. Not if it means…going back to the way our forms were.Are you…okay with that? With leaving it all behind? I promise, this place is…it’s worth it.”

She nodded. “I don’t think I can either. Azeroth has taken enough from us. And the others…they told me they won’t be surprised if we don’t return to the fight. They’re prepared to keep working towards the dream, but they’ll have to do it without us. I’m not going anywhere without you, love. We have a second chance at actual life and I’m not going back to a world without it or without you.”

Alphinaud speaks up. “Apologies, but did you say Azeroth? I’ve not heard of such a place.”

Franks nods. “Yeah. That’s….that’s the other reason I’m pretty confident she’s not an Ascian. And it’s a story most of y’all long overdue for hearing. And now that I have…gods I can’t believe I have you back…ahem. Well, there’s just no point in hiding it anymore. Gather round…time I told the full story of where I….where we are actually from.”

[high-functioning-lokipath]

SH - Sherlock & Mycroft Friendship/Brotherly Bonding - Prompt: Holmes brothers as kids, Myc being a good brother, playing the deduction game. - Words: 1,715

WARNING: MYCROFT IS A BIT NOT GOOD AT THE BEGINNING. THIS IS NOT MYCROFT HATE THO! ALSO, DEVIL CHILDREN WHO DON'T LIKE SHERLOCK MAKE AN APPEARANCE. IT DOES END WELL THOUGH.

That being said, I guess I should add a Trigger Warning for bullying.

I do hope you enjoy the story! Let us know!

"You simply are not trying hard enough, Sherlock! It's quite obvious!" Mycroft yelled. The Holmes brothers were standing in the living room in 221B. Mycroft had decided to pay his brother an in-person visit rather than just turning on the security camera he'd installed. Sherlock had decided to ask Mycroft to play the deduction game with him over a cup of tea. Sherlock was rarely so cordial with Mycroft thus Mycroft was, not that he'd admit it, concerned that something was wrong. He realized he'd miscalculated greatly (again, he'd never admit that) when, only an hour later, a shouting match had ensued.

"Really? Obvious? You're bloody insane, Mycroft! That solution is simply not possible!" Sherlock yelled, dressing gown swishing dramatically as he waved about.

"Look at the facts little brother. We've eliminated the rest. And what do we say about what remains?" Mycroft attempted to bring his voice back down to it's normal, placating, patronizing tones.

"Must be the truth," Sherlock replied, hanging his head low as he finally came to rest on the couch. Mycroft briefly, and rather guiltily, pictured Sherlock as a whipped puppy tucking its tail between its legs. He hadn't intended to hurt his brother so, but the damage was done.

'Nothing worse than past fights,' Mycroft thought. 'He'll recover in a few hours.' He decided not to reconcile at the moment as that could quite easily be taken as caring. 'Sherlock knows I care about him, I just don't want to appear too soft,' Mycroft justified mentally.

"Very good, Sherlock," He said aloud. "I understand you couldn't see it my way today. Perhaps one day you'll be able to think clearly about things." Mycroft turned to walk away. "Perhaps once your brain recovers from your last overdose. Maybe then it will return to acceptable functionality."

'Why did I tack that last jab on?' Mycroft wondered. 'Perhaps I really am becoming too calloused.' He shrugged off the thoughts for the moment as he got in his usual black limousine for the ride home.

Back in 221B, Sherlock sat crying on the sofa for some time. Soft whimpers of "Myc" fell from his lips occasionally. Eventually, he fell asleep, although not a restful one.

"William! Come outside! It's a perfect day to explore!" Sherlock's mind palace had conjured up the memory he was trying so hard to forget. He saw everything so clearly though. Mycroft, still as proper as ever, yet this Mycroft was more free, more innocent. About 14 years old and just under 5' 7", Mycroft had already adopted most of the personality that would stick with him for the rest of his life. Sherlock was seeing his memory as though it was a movie he could walk through. He didn't see it from his 7 year old point of view. Rather, he watched on the sidelines. He looked around and found himself in the backyard of their childhood home. Mycroft was examining a particularly bright patch of flowers by the corner of the house. Some of them had been crushed, others torn up.

'The old tabby cat,' Sherlock remembered fondly. 'Mrs. O'Malley did always let that cat wander too much.'

"I'm coming, Mycie!" Sherlock heard behind him. Turning about he saw himself, right at 4' tall, running out of the house to join his brother.

"Tell me, William," Mycroft said. "How do you think these flowers were destroyed?"

"The old tabby cat, Mycie! That's easy! Find me something harder!" His 7 year old self exclaimed. Mycroft smiled approvingly and patted little Sherlock's shoulder.

'I can't seem to recall why he ever stopped calling me William,' Sherlock thought. Shaking his head in his dream, he chuckled silently. He knew he would remember, but his mind was attempting to fool him.

"Timothy Lexington," Mycroft called out, tossing a frisbee to young Sherlock. He caught it absently, brows drawn together in thought.

"Blond and blue, 19, 5' 9", science class, held back a year," Sherlock replied, throwing the disk back with a smug grin.

'The original deduction game!' Sherlock thought with an overwhelming feeling of nostalgia. Sitting on the grass, he settled in to watch.

Mycroft had gotten into the habit of having Sherlock deduce his classmates to the nth degree.

"Why was he held back?" Mycroft quizzed, returning the frisbee.

"Cheating," Sherlock replied, about to throw it back. "Wait," he paused. "Cheating and skipping class." With every throw, Mycroft would ask a question or name a person, and with every catch, Sherlock would answer.

"Samantha Hanshaw."

"Red and green, 17, 5' 5", fairly intelligent. Moved ahead 2 levels over the summer." Mycroft was just about to catch the returning disc when Sherlock added, "And she has a crush on you. She likes your intellect." Mycroft completely froze. The frisbee hit him squarely on the forehead, snapping him out of his trance. "Mycroft! Are you ok?" Sherlock yelled, all deductions forgotten.

"Yeah, I'm fine," Mycroft assured him. "Let's go up front." The two Holmes children ran around to the front yard and Sherlock hurried to catch up. As he was about the round the corner, he noticed a group of boys, about his younger self's age, bicycling down the road.

'Oh,' Sherlock remembered. 'This was it.'

"William! Want to come and play with us?" One boy yelled, coming to a stop in front of the house.

"Can I, Myc? Please?" The younger Holmes asked. Sherlock could see the love and care in Mycroft's eyes. But also the sadness.

"They're no good for you, Will," He whispered, kneeling down to his brother's level. The younger's face dropped, tears welling up in his eyes. Mycroft hesitated briefly, hoping with all his heart he was making the right decision and that his initial readings of those boys were false, and added, "But if you want so badly, I suppose an hour or so wouldn't hurt." Sherlock lit up and hugged his brother around the neck.

"Thanks, Mycie! I'll be good! I'll be back in 1 hour!" Sherlock then ran across their large front yard to the road to meet up with the other boys. Mycroft began to walk into the house when he heard yelling.

"Where's your bodyguard now, William? Think you can just use your brain to get out of this, William?" Mycroft's heart sank. Those scumbags were holding Sherlock down on the pavement, kicking him. "Freak! Weirdo!"

"Leave him alone!" Mycroft bellowed. Sherlock had been struggling, trying to get away from them, but there had simply been too many. The bullies quickly scattered, grabbing their bikes and running off. Mycroft pulled Sherlock onto the grass immediately.

"I'm sorry," Sherlock whimpered.

"No, no, William. You don't have to be-"

"Don't call me that!" He yelled. "Never again! If I'm to be a freak, I'll be named as such. Never call me by that name again. Call me Sherlock from now on." Sherlock's face had turned adamant, a preview of his future personality.

"But-"

"Please?" Sherlock begged, face softening once again. Mycroft silently nodded and pulled Sherlock in for a hug.

"Come on inside. Let's get you washed up and have some cake together, hm? Sounds good, Sherlock?" Mycroft asked, the name feeling strange on his tongue. He certainly did not think the name sounded freakish, nor was his brother a freak, but he would, at least for now, make his brother happy.

"Yes, please."

"And Sherlock?" Mycroft continued, pausing his steps. "I'll always love you and I'll always take care of you. I will never hurt you. Never forget that."

Sherlock woke up with a start, gasping and still sobbing a little. His face was sticky with half-dry tears.

"I will never hurt you." Those words echoed in Sherlock's mind. It seemed that these days all Mycroft had done was hurt Sherlock.

'Not that it was really his fault,' Sherlock thought. 'I'm really the cause of it all. Maybe if I could find a triple homicide I could finally make him proud.' Sherlock shook his head. He'd already solved those types of cases. He really didn't know what to do to make his brother happy. Turning over on the sofa, he looked to the abandoned mugs on the coffee table. No doubt, the contents were far past cold so Sherlock got up and took them to the sink. Hearing the door lock click, he readied himself for an intruder since no one else he knew should be coming in at this time of day.

"Sherlock?" He heard a voice call out.

'Mycroft?' Sherlock wondered. 'Why is he here?' Slowly, Sherlock walked out of the kitchen.

"What do you want?" He spat, unintentionally angry.

"I wanted to apologise. I'm sorry," Mycroft said, absolute sincerity showing on his face. Sherlock was surprised beyond words. Mycroft quickly took in his brother's appearance and realized he was responsible for it. Mycroft sighed lightly before continuing, "Lately all we've done is fight. That's not right for brothers. Even arch-nemesis brothers," He said with a smirk. Even Sherlock chuckled at that. Turning serious once again, Mycroft continued, "Please believe me when I say I'm sorry. I-" He paused for a moment, deciding he may not have another chance like this for a while. "I'll always love you, little brother, and I'll always take care of you. I will never intentionally hurt you. Never forget that. I may be harsh sometimes and say things I don't mean when I'm especially frustrated but I'll try to say 'I'm sorry' a bit more."

"I love you too, Mycie," Sherlock replied, hugging his brother tightly. Mycroft smiled fondly at the man who, at the moment, was burying his face in Mycroft's suit jacket. Mycroft hugged Sherlock back.

"I'll always care, William," His brother's name finally felt right again after all these years. "You're never a disadvantage."

"Neither are you, Myc," Sherlock replied with a smile. "But you know you're not allowed to call me that around anyone else. Not even Mummy and Daddy." Mycroft nodded. "Good. Now why don't we stop this emotional madness and finish what we started," Sherlock commanded. To the average person, it would seem Sherlock had gone back to normal. But Mycroft saw the glint in his eyes. "Chocolate cake with whipped icing?" Sherlock offered.

"Of course," Mycroft smiled, taking the plate and sitting again in the living room. "Cluedo?"

Sherlock BBC Taglist

@lucywrites02

@delightfulheartdream

@bartv21

@another-crazy-fangirl

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[smol-and-grumpy]

Golden Cage - Chapter.08

Pairing: Dean Winchester x Reader

Summary: She’s a spoiled little princess — at least that’s what people say. Her father is the King of all Kings, the man who everyone fears. Then, along comes Dean Winchester, the one guy who manages to see into her soul, but — — is Dean really who he says he is?

Chapter Warnings: Violence, threats, minor character death, fluff, angst, doubts

WC: 5675

Beta’d by: @deanwanddamons​ <3

Series Masterlist ~ SPN Masterlist

Become a Patron ~ Buy me a coffee

Dean’s in the bathroom, dressed and ready for the day ahead of him, when he hears furious banging against his bedroom door.

“Be right there!” He shouts out with his mouth still full of toothpaste. Dean spits it out and rinses the brush. 

He already took a shower this morning, as he needed it to wake him up. Maybe he also needed it to calm himself down because he was so goddamn hard and there was no Y/N next to him. His cock was aching for the intimacy they shared last night, but he thinks that his heart ached more for the closeness, he just doesn’t really want to admit it. Can’t possibly admit it just yet because he’s a stubborn idiot.

“We’re leaving in ten!” The voice says and Dean knows that it belongs to Ed. Benny had most likely sent him to get Dean. It’s probably not because Benny wants Dean to tag along again, but more because Azazel wants it that way. They’re all not really happy about him being nosy in their operation at all, but Dean can’t really fucking care about that.

And yeah, he wants to be there this morning because he has a fucking blood bath to prevent. He doesn’t even want to think about what would happen if the dude didn’t have the money like he promised he would. 

Dean rinses his hands under the warm water and turns the faucet to cool before splashing some cold water onto this face and dries himself off with a washcloth, “I’ll be down in ten.” He calls out and flips his wrists to check his watch. It’s 6.37 AM. It’s way too early for his taste and he’s still so tired.

Last night was fucking amazing, there’s no doubt about it, but Dean has maybe slept two hours, tops. He’s even more grumpy when he doesn’t get his four hours of shuteye and there’s a pounding in the back of his head. He has to be careful that it won’t grow into a full-blown headache.

The lack of sleep is really his own fault, though. Dean really has no one else but himself to blame. 

Last night, he waited until she fell asleep. Then, waited some more to make sure that she was in a deep sleep before he scooped her up to carry her over to her own bedroom. He had to do it because there wouldn’t have been a good way to spin a story of how she would wander from his room into hers in the morning when everyone’s up and awake. He’s sure someone would have seen her if he would have let her stay and it pained him that he had to do it, it really did.

God knows how much he wanted to let her stay beside him. How much he didn’t want her to leave his bed at all, but this whole thing is fucked up enough as it is, he doesn’t need to pour gasoline on a goddamn fire. 

This whole thing is fucking stupid and risky—

—and yet, he knows in his heart that he can’t possibly walk away from it. From her.

Dean braces his hands on the sink and drops his head. He’s smirking as memories from last night flashes before his eyes. He came fucking twice! Within fucking minutes! It had never happened before and he wasn’t lying when he told her that never wanted to stop fucking her. How could he? It felt super awesome being inside of her wet heat. And the way she came on his dick? Jesus, he’s getting hard again just thinking about it. He’d like to experience it again sometime, would really fucking love to.

The fucking was awesome, he’s established that. But the thing after was also super great? Like, Dean didn’t account for that, if he’s honest. 

The way she laid in his arms, the way she curled up against him, the way she fell asleep. It was great and Dean felt a calmness in his heart he never experienced before. He couldn’t stop himself from touching her. Couldn’t possibly stop, no matter how much he would have wanted to. No, there was no stopping because he wanted to memorize every feature of her face, wanted to memorize the bumps and creases of her skin with the tip of his fingers. 

Carrying her over to her room was hard for him to do because he had to make sure that she didn’t wake up while at the same time making sure that nobody heard him walking around. He even wore fucking socks so as not to make too loud of a sound. 

He laid her into her bed and pulled the cover over her, tucking her in gently, before he kissed her lips one last time, lingered a little longer than he first wanted. It was just so hard to part. 

Dean shakes his head to clear out the pictures of her swimming around in his mind and clears his throat after, to get the bittersweet taste out of his mouth, before he pushes himself away from the sink and makes his way out of the bathroom. 

Her panties and the shirt she came into his room with are still on the floor. Dean picks it up and stuffs them deep into the hamper, making sure that nobody will find them. He doesn’t think that anyone would search in there anyway. 

She didn’t ask any questions last night about why Dean handed her his shirt instead of hers. It was a spur of the moment decision for him. It was just.. when he came out of the bathroom and looked at her shirt, he felt the sudden urge to give her one of his. There was a sudden possessiveness that crept up his spine. Dean can’t really explain it himself, to be honest. He smirked when she pulled it over her head, thought that she looked fucking cute in his shirt, but he tried to not be too obvious about the joy he felt.

Walking over to the door, Dean turns around again to take a last look to see if he left anything behind that could bust him — bust his ass for the things he’s already doing and of course bust him for fucking her. When he’s satisfied that there are no traces, he leaves the room and closes the door. He doesn’t lock it, fears that it would raise suspicion if he does. 

Dean walks along the landing, has to pass her door on his way down the stairs, and he almost stalls, almost knocks on her fucking door. Almost. He catches himself on time, reminds himself that he’s running late as it is. Besides, it’s not even 7 AM. She’s most likely still sound asleep. He hopes she is. He also hopes that she’s not too sore.

She did ask him to fuck her harder. 

Dean chuckles at the memory, gets flustered too. His ears are burning. He hopes that they aren’t too red because it’s hard to conceal.

Jesus, this fucking girl.

He shakes his head as he makes his way down the stairs and suddenly, there’s another thought popping into his mind. There’s still an issue he has to talk to her about. Wanted to actually talk last night, but when he saw how exhausted she was, he couldn’t bring himself to do it. Dean makes a mental note to bring it up as soon as he would meet her. He hopes it’s going to be today.

 *

 Dean’s the last one to arrive at the restaurant. Benny and his boys are already inside because even though Dean said he’ll be down in ten, the fucking gang had already left. So much for taking him along. 

To say that the incident is making him even more grumpy is an understatement.

He barges into the door to find the restaurant owner strapped to a chair yet again. The man’s sobbing uncontrollably, he is gagged with a tie. The man’s wife is already laying on the ground, a bullet wound through her chest and the middle of her head, which seems a bit of an overkill. It happened just a moment ago because he can see that the blood has only started to seep from under her body.

Dean takes it that they didn’t manage to get the money.

The kids are each strapped to a chair, both of them squirming and crying, both of them have ties around their mouths, too. 

And that, pisses Dean off to no end.

“What the fuck is going on?” Dean roars it out so loud that the other men are flinching, “Who the fuck did this?” He gestures wildly at the dead woman on the ground.

Glancing at the men, Dean notices quickly who fired the shots because Benny’s the only guy who has a fucking gun in his hand. 

Dean rushes over to Benny, presses up close in an act of dominance, their faces only inches apart. 

Benny snorts, “Who the fuck are you to tell me how to fucking do my work?”

Oh, Dean’s angry, alright. He knows everything about how they fucking operate. Bobby made sure to tell him details and this never came up. They don’t shoot women. They don’t fucking kill children. 

“I don’t fucking care, Benny, you don’t fucking bite off a hand that fucking feeds you!” He spits out his words into Benny’s face. 

The other man snorts some more, “He doesn’t have the fucking money!”

Dean turns away and paces around, still shaking his head. At last, he turns to face Benny again, but from a safe distance, “Then fucking shoot him and not her!”

“We just want to scare him,” Ed chimes in and gets shot down by Dean’s menacing glare. The man quickly shuts his mouth. 

“Well, he is scared,” Dean says. His voice is a little calmer now. He had noticed the wet pants around the man’s crotch, “Congratulations! Mission accomplished. I hope you’re fucking proud! And what now?”

“We kill off the boy next,” Benny says drily and the dad whimpers while the boy screams. 

“And then?” Dean asks, because he can’t wrap his head around it. It’s not what the family stands for. Not at all.

“Then the dad.” Ed shrugs as if it’s no fucking big deal.

“And the girl?” Dean asks, and he fucking knows that he shouldn’t be discussing any of it in front of the victims, but that’s just how it is, and there’s no way for him to talk to his men in private. 

Benny smirks, “We have connections and I’m personally thinking about expanding the family business, branching out, you know.”

Oh, Dean knows. Dean knows exactly what Benny’s talking about, and he’s not happy about it. 

“Does Azazel know?” 

“Not yet,” Benny shrugs, “But I’ll have a meeting later, I’ll bring up the new business idea.” 

Dean looks from Benny to the kids and back at the guy, “I’m taking them with me—”

“—You will do no such thing!” 

Benny cuts Dean off before Dean could even finish his sentence. The man’s also in Dean’s hair, inches so close and pushes at his chest, “You let us do our fucking job and you do yours!”

There’s a lot of staring each other down, a lot of quivering lips and steely gazes. Dean sighs before he resigns. Not because he wants to, but because he knows that he has to. He would overstep his duties, and he would make himself suspicious. More than he already is in the men’s eyes. 

So Dean does what’s expected of him. He takes a step back and walks out of the room without another word. 

 Y/N wakes to the sound of soft knocking at her door. She blinks the sleep away before her eyes scan her surroundings. It takes her some time to realize where she is. 

She’s back in her own room.

Disappointment clouds her face and she curls up on her side. Her eyes stay open as she stares at the door where someone knocks again.

“What is it?” She calls out grumpily. Today’s not a good day, she can already feel it. 

“Madam,” The maid says, “It’s past 1 PM, would you like your lunch?”

What? Past 1 PM? How? She never gets up this late. Has probably never slept past 10 AM in her whole life.

“No, thank you.” She says, “I’ll go into work once I get up.” 

“Alright, Madam. Just ring me if you need me.” 

“Thanks.”

Y/N sits up in her bed, pulls the blanket aside, and notices that she’s still in Dean’s shirt. And then it dawns on her. That is why he wanted her to wear something for bed, wasn’t it? So that he could carry her back into her own room. 

Bringing the shirt to her face, she sniffs at it. Couldn’t really do it last night when Dean was next to her. She smells him. Smells his cologne, his soap, his musk. He probably slept in it the night before, because it doesn’t smell like it has been washed in a while. And strangely, she doesn’t care. It smells heavenly. 

The scent of the shirt brings her back to last night and her mind starts to spin. God, they really had sex. Dean’s a great lover, he made her come more than she had with any other man. Even on his dick alone, which never happened. It was totally different from Adam. Adam didn’t really make a big effort if she had to compare, but also she doesn’t know what’s the norm? Was Dean just over-attentive or is that standard? 

Jesus, she even forgot to go pee afterward and that’s what she should have done, right? Ellen told her so many times already that she should go pee after having sex so as not to contract UTI. She completely forgot in her blissed-out state. 

Dean did that to her. She was incapable of forming one coherent word afterward. 

Y/N liked everything about last night. Like how he took care of her, liked how he fucked her. But most of all, she liked how he took her in his arms afterward, how his hands brushed over her face, how the gestures lulled her to sleep.

Getting up, she peels the shirt from her body and stows it away underneath her pillow. Just in case. And she wants to wear it again tonight just because she can. It’s hers now, she won’t give it back no matter how much Dean would want it returned to him. 

On her way to the bathroom, she feels something warm running out of her vagina and she hurries to the bathroom, doesn’t necessarily wanting it to drip on the carpet because she would have a hard time explaining it to Ellen. That woman has bat ears and eagle eyes, she would know, Y/N’s so sure of that.

Inside of the shower, she inspects the wetness that runs down her thighs and it keeps running out. God, just how much did Dean come inside of her? Because it’s a lot and it was his second time too, having spilled the first load onto her stomach and pussy. 

She turns on the shower, washes herself down there with water before soaping herself up. Her hand rubs at her clit and it somehow hurts a little because it’s very sensitive. It doesn’t help that she actually wants to rub there some more because of the tingly sensation she feels inside of her guts. Dean has really left a lasting impression on her, that much is clear. 

After the shower and with no release because it just hurt too much, she walks out of the bathroom frustrated and grumpy. It also doesn’t lift her mood when she sees Ellen in her room. The woman has a key to every door in the house and she’s not afraid to use it. 

Ellen’s in the process of stripping her bedsheets and she already notices the edge of Dean’s shirt hanging out from the laundry basket.

“No!” She shouts and runs to the basket, fishing the shirt out, “I want to wear it again tonight.” She says, but then she realizes that she maybe shouldn’t have said it, “I mean, I just pulled it out of the closet and… uh, it’s still good to wear. It doesn’t need to be washed yet.” She stammers, trying to somehow make sense. 

The woman looks at Y/N with a frown on her face, “Hun, since when do you care if I wash a shirt you’ve only worn once?”

“Uh, I don’t know? Just— I know that I want to wear it again, okay?” She clutches at the fabric and pulls it out of the basket, proceeds to walk with it to her walk-in closet but Ellen was having none of it. 

The woman tugs her back by her arm, “Y/N, show me.” 

“Ellen!”

“Do I have to use force on you? Because I’d rather not.”

God, she hates how Ellen goes all mom on her. The woman’s been here since before Y/N was born and when her mother died, she came closest to being a mother figure to Y/N while she also took care of her own child. Ellen knows her better than she knows herself, even knew about Adam, but Ellen didn’t tell. She wonders if she can tell Ellen about Dean? If she should tell? No, that’s probably not a good idea since Dean doesn’t want anyone to know.

“Y/N, I’m asking nicely.” Ellen holds out a hand, waiting for her to hand over the garment. 

She sighs and rolls her eyes, “Fine!”

Ellen doesn’t even wait for her to lay the shirt into her awaiting palm, instead, she tears it from Y/N’s grip. 

The woman holds it up, frowning, “That’s not your shirt.”

“How do you know?”

“I know every item in your wardrobe, Y/N, and this shirt isn’t yours,” Ellen says and puts the shirt to her nose to sniff at it. Y/N cringes, “Yep, definitely a man’s shirt. What happened?”

“Nothing?”

“Well, I hope that nothing knows what he’s done and that he’s in a lot of trouble if the King finds out.”

“I told him—” Y/N says meekly, “—about Adam.”

“Good, boy needs to know.” Ellen hands the shirt back to her, “Please don’t tell me it’s one of his.”

She doesn’t say anything but also, she doesn’t meet Ellen’s questioning eyes, avoiding them at all costs.

“Dear God, honey! No!” Ellen sighs loudly, “This is not going to end well, and you know it!”

“It’s different!” She shouts, “He’s different!”

“Yeah, tell that to your father when he has the boys balls in his hand ready to cut them off, will ya?”

Oh god, the image of it makes her skin crawl. Ellen is right. Of course the woman’s right, and Y/N hates that she is.

“He doesn’t need to know,” Y/N mumbles softly. 

Ellen gestures with her hands and there’s obvious irritation on her face as she rubs a hand over her forehead, “Look, I’m on your side, okay? Just please be careful, and I’m going to get you new pills, I’ll drop them off and hide them in your room in the evening, okay?”

Y/N’s pout turns into a big wide grin as she throws her arms around Ellen’s neck and sprays kisses on her cheek, “Thank you.”

“Yeah, yeah,” Ellen says, “I love you, okay? I just want you to be safe.”

“I know.”

 Dean’s sitting at the counter of a roadside diner a couple of hours out of the city. To be honest, he didn’t know where to go at first, just got into his car and thought about leaving it all behind. He knows that he can if he really wants to, knows that he’s allowed if he has a good reason. 

While he drove, he thought about the reasons, but he came up empty-handed. Apparently, corruption of his own moral compass isn’t good enough of a reason, and he knows that too. It’s not going to be a reason for them to accept it because he’s been in his game long enough. 

But he has decided something for himself on his way out here. After this is all over, he’s going to leave the Bureau. He’s going to leave it all behind, get in his car, and drive. He has the feeling that he’s getting too old for all this bullshit. When he first started, he really had the impression that he could make a difference, that he could help make the world a little safer, but the reality caught up to him pretty fast, and now, after doing what he does for a decade, he knows that the world doesn’t change. When he catches a bad guy, there are at least five more who are going to take that guy’s place. When he closes a case, there are going to be ten more coming up. It’s a vicious circle that keeps on spinning.

He’s here now, isn’t he? He’s going to get this over with and Dean started to think about reasons for him not to leave, and there are some. There’s also a chump holding him back by clawing into his skin. That chump comes in the form of a stunning girl with a beautiful smile. That’s when Dean realizes that he doesn’t have a good enough reason to leave, but has a better reason to stay.

It’s afternoon and the diner is more than half empty. He’s nursing his coffee that tastes more like water with a sprinkle of coffee flavor as he waits. 

He knows it’s fucking risky disappearing after what happened at the restaurant this morning. It’s fucking risky to just get in his car and drive away without telling anyone where he’s going, but he needed a breather and he especially needed time to sort things out in his head. 

This whole operation is fucking with his mind. Fucking with his grip on morality. He has always known what’s right and what’s wrong, and he’s worked undercover before, but it never involved innocent fucking children for god’s sake!

The bell of the diner chimes and he notices a woman coming in. She walks to the counter and sits next to him.

“You got any news?” Dean asks, but he doesn’t look at the women. Instead, he stares down at his coffee, signaling for the waitress to pour him some more. 

“Not much.” His supervisor says, “You know we shouldn’t meet like this, right?”

Dean snorts, “We shouldn’t be doing a lot of things, Naomi. Yet, here we are,”

The woman ignores him.

“We found out that Benny is in contact with Marv,” Naomi says, while she signals for the waitress to bring her a cup as well. 

Dean debates on telling her that the coffee tastes like shit, but he decides against it. It’s the little thing he finds joy in nowadays. Instead, he tries not to frown too much as he asks, “Marv?”

“Marv Armstrong. He’s big in the human trafficking business.”

“Oh no,” Dean rubs at his eyes with his thumb and forefinger, bringing it together in the middle to pinch at the bridge of his nose. He didn’t sleep nearly enough for such fucking bullshit.

Naomi thanks the waitress and takes a sip from her cup, spitting it right out with a disgusted expression on her face, and Dean has to hold himself together so as not to laugh out loud. 

The woman soon regains her composure, even before Dean’s done with laughing, “Try to be there when Benny meets Azazel. We want to know more about it.”

Fucking Christ, first they have a mole in the fucking family, and now this? Dean didn’t fucking sign up for fuckery, did he? 

He sighs and gets up from the stool before he fishes out a five-dollar bill from his jacket pocket, “I’ll try.”

“You want to leave so much for a bad coffee?” Naomi grits her teeth but doesn’t look at him.

Leaning down a little, he places the bill on the counter, “Hey, everyone needs money to get by, doesn’t matter how bad the coffee is.”

Dean walks out without another word and hurries to his car. He knows he has to be there for the meeting, but he has to do something else first.

 Y/N spends some time working in the restaurant after lunch. After she ushers Ellen out of her room, she gets dressed and puts some makeup on her face in order to hide the dark circles around her eyes. She arrived at the shop hangry, so Garth had made her a delicious burger and fries because he somehow knew that she needed it, and it really did help lift her mood a little.

Garth always knows what she needs and she loves him for it, is thankful that he enjoys working in her restaurant. He never complains about anything and always smiles. Sometimes, Garth is indeed the light of the restaurant and it makes her workdays so much more bearable.

After the meal, she checks in on her other employees to see if they have trouble managing the whole place without her being in as much as before, but apparently, everything seems to be going fine which actually disappoints her a little because it shows that she’s really not needed at all. 

Her dad’s right about it, and she hates that he is.

When she’s about to go to the back and continue with her inventory, the bell chimes and her dad walks in with some of his entourage. He walks straight to the counter and doesn’t sit down in his booth like he normally does. She senses that something must be going on.

“Are you hungry, dad?” Y/N asks and looks back at Garth who’s tossing some fries into the oil, “Garth’s making a new batch of fries.” 

“No, I already ate,” Her father says, “Is Dean in?” 

Well, should he be? She doesn’t know, because she hasn’t heard from him since last night. Her cheeks burn up at the memories.

“I’ve not been here long enough to know.” She says simply. Maybe because it’s the truth and maybe, because she does want to sound like she cares. 

God, she does care, though. Where is Dean?

“We’re going to be down for the rest of the day. Send him down when he drops by,” Her dad says and doesn’t even wait for her answer. Instead, he strolls to the back door, his entourage following him. 

“Benny is in but I haven’t seen Dean,” Garth chimes in from the back, but she doubts that her dad registered it. It doesn’t matter to her dad what Garth has to say anyway. 

Garth’s still smiling and it almost breaks her heart. She watches as Garth just shrugs and continues to whistle a tune while he takes out the fries as if he doesn’t really care if people don’t like him. He’s just being himself and that’s what she admires him for. She wished she could be a little more like Garth.

“Jo, you got this? I’ll be in the back,” she says, as Jo walks back to the counter with an empty tray after having served customers. 

“Sure thing,” the girl smiles at her.

Y/N nods with a smile before walking to the back thinking that she’ll definitely miss working in here.

 *

 About a half-hour into boring inventory, she hears the doorknob being turned. She has stopped listening to music while she’s in here, it just doesn’t seem safe when she can’t hear her surroundings. Her hand immediately goes to her gun that’s laying on the shelf next to her clipboard, as a precaution.

“Leave it, it’s me.” 

Y/N doesn’t have to turn around to know who it is. She’d recognize the hushed whisper anywhere. She’d recognize the smooth bass of the voice, even if her eyes were closed. It’s crazy how the sound of someone’s voice can jump-start her heart in a flash.

She doesn’t turn around, doesn’t know if she’d be able to look him in the eye, because she’s still a little salty that she didn’t wake up next to him, even though she knows that it’s irrational to be salty about it.

It’s absolutely stupid, she knows. 

He did the right thing, because how should she explain if she would have gotten caught going out of Dean’s room in the morning wearing only a shirt and panties? There’d be no way to talk herself out of it and it would land Dean in so much trouble. It’s just… her brain is incapable of thinking rationally at the moment, and she’s as far away from being reasonable at this very moment as she can be. It’s probably the princess-effect. 

“Dad’s waiting for you.” She says simply, trying to occupy herself as she takes her clipboard and writes something on it. She doesn’t even know what to write, draws stupid circles, and makes up numbers to write on it, hoping he doesn’t see the doodles. 

Still with her back to him, she feels him coming closer, feels the broad of him standing right behind her. The heat of his body radiates over to hers. And she smells him too. Smells the soap on his skin, the cologne on his shirt. 

God, it clouds her mind.

Dean places a hand on her shoulder, the other hand strokes down her back until it weaves around her waist, fingers span wide on her stomach. He pulls her closer, molding her back to his firm chest, and places a kiss on her neck. She feels the roughness of his scruff, which sends shivers up her spine.

“Have I upset you?” He whispers into her skin. 

She tilts her head a little and Dean kisses her temple, leaves his lips there as the grip around her waist tightens. 

“Just disappointed that I woke up in my own bed.” She mumbles.

Moments pass before she hears him chuckle next to her ear. 

“I’m sorry,” He says and kisses her once more on her cheek. 

He breathes out after, and she smells coffee on his breath, wonders where he got one. Wonders if he had one here. She places the clipboard on the shelf, turning around in his grip to meet his eyes for the first time, noticing when she sees him that he looks tired. There’s worry on his face also. 

Y/N hooks her arms in the back of his neck and Dean leans down, presses his forehead on hers, “I got something for you,” He says and smirks before he pecks her lips. 

Dean’s hand leaves her waist, goes to his jacket pocket and she feels something hard poking at her from in between them. It’s a little box and she leans back to be able to take a look at it. She takes it in her hand, examines it.

 Plan B

One Step

 The words read boldly on the box, and she looks up at Dean with a frown etched between her eyebrows. 

He chuckles and lifts his thumb to rub at the crease, “I shouldn’t have, uh, you know, come inside of you. I’m sorry about that, but you said things that made me forget my own damn name.” 

“I don’t need it,” She whispers, holding the box to him and wants him to take it back. 

This time, it’s his turn to frown. There’s clearly irritation on his face which she has to laugh at. 

“Why?” He asks, but he doesn’t take the box back. 

“I’m taking the pill, Dean. It’s okay, don’t worry about it.”

Dean exhales loudly. His hot breath fans over her face. He takes a step back and paces around, before he threads a hand through his hair, “Jesus,” He groans in relief, “It was nagging at me the whole day! Fuck!” 

Y/N laughs when she watches him pace around some more and there it was, the realization that dawns on him, the tension that ebbs out of his body. Suddenly, Dean’s on her, wrapping his hands around her and lifts her up, one hand around her waist and one at the base of her neck as he draws her in for a kiss. It’s soft and gentle, tongue only teasing at her teeth, but when she opens up her mouth, he sucks in her tongue. 

God, it feels incredible. 

He chuckles when he parts and lets her down, but she’s still lost in the moment, still chases his lips with her mouth, her eyes still closed. His chuckle grows into a laugh and he pecks her nose, making it wet. 

“Baby, your dad wants to see me,” Dean whispers, pecking her lips once more and she groans out in frustration. His big hands go further down, cups her ass in his palms, and give it a squeeze, “I’ll see you, okay?” 

“‘K,” She nods, and licks her lips as he places one more kiss on her forehead. 

Dean leaves to walk to the door.

“What’s with that?” She still has the Plan B box in her hand and waves it around. 

“Keep it,”

“What?”

“Well, I can’t possibly turn up with Plan B in my jacket.” 

He’s not wrong, but still. Now she needs to walk around with it in her purse so she rolls her eyes, making him chuckle as he opens the door to the hallway.

Dean takes a last look back at her, lips curving up, creases deepening around his eyes, “You know, you’re really the only thing that keeps me going. I don’t think I would still be doing the shit I’m doing if you weren’t in it.” 

Y/N feels the color rising in her cheeks and Dean closes the door with a last nod of his head.

Chapter.09

Please share your thoughts with me, I’d love to hear your feedback.

[decayandfanfics]

The great book of sayings

PAIRINGS: Tomura Shigaraki x FemReader

SUMMARY: He looks at you, his scarlet eyes fixed on yours, burning a hole through your head, every bit the predator he is, but you are as tough as it gets, so, against your better judgment and any well-founded logic, you answer his silent threat, the animalistic look he gives you with nothing less than a fearless smirk, irises burrowing into his pupils.A clever girl. He thinks, finally labeling you inside his head, cursing himself in the very moment he allows his brain to think of you as more than an asset. He is sure (he knows himself enough to know) he’ll think of this moment many times from now on.A clever pretty girl.

Reader is a typical college student until she gets herself tangled with the league of villains.

WARNINGS: Unhealthy/complicated relationships, violence, Tomura being Tomura, mentions of murder, heroes’ abuse of power, smut later.

A/N: I’m trying so hard to write crusty boy here really in character. At least after AfO is taken. Any misspelled words, english is not my native language so i’m trying Helen. ________________________________________________________

Chapter 9 / Chapter 10

It takes two to Tango.

It’s always like this after using it, but of course a quirk like this would come with some dangerous side effects.

You watch your reflection in the mirror, all dark eyebags and bloodshot eyes. At least the bleeding has finally stopped, but the sink is a bloody mess, and the trash can is full of paper soaking in blood.

It feels awful, really. Physically and emotionally.

You could still feel Dabi’s bones bending under your quirk. His muscles and tendons stiffen like hard rock as the blood stooped its flowing inside of him.

As always, you let the anger get the best of you. It’s your worst defect, and now it will cost you dearly because there is no way the league lets you live after what you’ve done to Dabi. Shigaraki will decay you and that will be all, and if you weren’t as exhausted after all the crying and the bleeding, you would be fucking losing it.

A soft knock in the door forces you to clear your face from the tears before opening, shoving down the nausea at the idea of facing your imminent death.

“can we talk?” Toga asks, her soft face adorned with a little frown.

You let her in and close the door again, sitting over the toilet.

“I’m very sorry for what I did, Himiko-chan.” You sob quietly.

“I know. Hey…hey, don’t cry. I’m not mad.”

“I hurt you, I didn’t think clearly, I was so mad...”

“hey, it’s fine.” She states, her little hand touching your shoulder, trying to calm you. “I mean, when I first came to the league, Tomura, Dabi and I almost killed each other, so…I understand.”

“it’s not the same, Toga. My quirk is…I almost killed Dabi and I didn’t even touched him. I just…I, I’m supposed to help people, try to keep it down, but when I get angry…I’m a monster and now Shigaraki is going to kill me…”

“No, don’t say that. That’s not true.” Her voice is soft when she clutches in front of you. “look at me, hey. Look at me. We are friends. You just got angry. And you didn’t hurt me, and Tomura and Compress are fine. It didn’t hurt. It was weird but didn’t hurt. And Tomura-kun is not going to kill you.”

“really?”

“If Tomura-kun wanted you dead, you would’ve been an hour ago.” She answers, rolling her eyes. “can you tell me about what just happen? What is with your quirk?”

“it’s pretty simple, actually. It is call Torment. Is the ability to manipulate living tissue, tensing nerves, contracting muscle and bending bone. It’s a useless variation of a healing quirk, but I cannot grow new tissue, only manipulate it. I can keep wounds closed, I can relax your nerves, I can break your bones and stop your blood from flowing. I can stop your heart just by moving a finger and torture you by contracting all your muscles and nerves, but it’s dangerous for me. It’s too much effort to control a whole body, less alone four of them. I bleed, and I ache.”

 “wow. That’s why you look so terrible.”

“yeah” you laugh cleaning your tears. “I guess I do.”

“how do you feel now?”

“a little better. Still like shit, but I’ll be fine.”

“Compress and I will be going to the store. Do you want something?”

“To the store? With what money?”

“A girl has her ways.” She teases softly “want some sweets?”

“Yes. I need to eat something. It’s…Dabi there?”

“no, he went out. Tomura-kun told him to go chill outside.”

“Okay. I’m going to get out now...”

“don’t be scared. You’ll be fine. Dabi asked for it anyway and…he sometimes can get very nasty with Tomura. He deserved it.”

“Himiko…thank you.”

You gather your courage and step out of the bath, finding your apartment as messy as you left it an hour ago, but this time is empty.

Thank god.

You give yourself to the task of collecting your destroyed laptop and removing the broken table from the view, looking for a way to repair the detached leg, trying to clean and erase any trace of the fight, enjoying your solitude for the first time in more than a week.

“this is going to cost me.” you say to no one, preparing yourself to the idea of buying a new computer as you move to your room. “I don’t have any extra money to-”

“I always knew you were hiding something.”

“FUCK!” You scream letting the pieces of your laptop fall again, covering your face with your hands when you notice Shigaraki’s arm crossed figure leaning against the wall besides your door. “dammit, Shigaraki. You cannot just…appear behind other people’s doors.”

“that’s debatable.” He remarks, an amused grin plastered in his face.

He watches you and something inside of you twist between excited and scared as his eyes scan you head to toe, the gears of his brain turning inside his head.

“What.”

“C’mon. I’m curious about it.”

“I bet you are.” You spit annoyed.

“Careful now. Look where that bickering mouth of yours got you an hour ago.” He warns you entertained.

“Don’t you dare to patronize me.” You warn already tired, a hand rubbing against your temple.

“I’m just asking about that funny little quirk you have. That and the little display of rage, who would have thought!”

You stare at him, weighting your options to no avail.”

“I can manipulate living tissue. Muscle, bone, nerves, blood. That’s all.

“That’s a pretty boring answer to such a memorable show.”

“This is stupid. What did you expect me to do, huh?” you snap.

“What makes you think I expect you to do anything?” He asks cunningly.

“You know what I mean.”

“no, I don’t.” he laughs.

“It’s just…I hate bullys. And he’s been trying his best to get on my nerves since day one and I could…I mean, i…I just…”

“you what.”

“I cannot stay there and let him berate people like it’s not important!” You can feel the verbal vomit gathering inside your throat, if you keep like this, you are going to say something you will regret.

“but it’s not.” He states rolling his eyes. “I didn’t care about what he said. You didn’t have to say anything.”

“but I care!”

"About what he does? or is about wh-"

"it's about what he said of you!"

"It doesn't matter wh-"

"Yes, it does!" 

“why d-”

“because I like you!”

The moment those words are out, you smack your palm against your mouth, fully convinced you made a horrible mistake, so honoring your sense of self-preservation and improvisation, you oblige yourself to make some verbal stunt just to get out of this one, because you have a horrible scary feeling about the hungry look he’s giving you.

“I mean, I thought we could get along…all of us. Despite everything, I think highly of you, and I know you are a villain- villains who wants to destroy everything, but I thought we could be…”

“Friends? are you hearing yourself?” He spits; his mouth twitched in a hateful grimace.

Fear shoots through you in less than a second. Suddenly he looks more taller and menacing, as his steps makes you retrieve, until your back hits the wall on the corner of your room.

Yeah, you may not be afraid of Dabi, but Shigaraki Tomura is a completely different story.

“What are you doing.”

“What am I doing?”

“Get away from me.” you bark scared, as your eyes ignite in clear warning. The dark feeling pooling at the pit of your stomach send shivers through your spine, lifting the hairs of your neck in terror.

“Make me.” Shigaraki growls lowly the moment one of his hands trap your chin roughly, his pinky safely curled against his palm, but even like that you can almost feel how close you are from certain death.

He is pissed out of the blue, your brain failing at finding the exact moment shit went down before he decides to finally kill you, yet you don’t get it, all you did was…

Oh…

He winces scanning your face searching for something, and the moment his eyes stops over your lips, you recognize the feeling.

He snarls like a wolf, looming over you, looking like he’s ready to kill you.

Or eat you.

“Are you done playing dumb?” he asks darkly, and you can feel the warm of his breath against your own lips and something far more complex and exciting than plain fear roaring inside your chest, begging you to push forward, begging you to kiss him.

“I said…are you done playing-“

“WE ARE BACK!” You both snap your heads to the door the moment Toga enters, screaming cheerfully while leaving a bag with candy over the counter, and before you know, Shigaraki is at the other side of the room, staring at you like you transfixed, digging his nails deeply in his neck, before storming out of the apartment, leaving you there, rooted in your room, finally remembering how to breathe.

“What’s wrong with him?” Compress asks as he handles you a pack of gummy bears.

You can still feel the warmth of his hand against your face, your lips still tingling with longing.

“I have no idea.” You lie.

Chapter 11

[thorne93]

The Stars Made Us (Part 18)

Prompt: In this world, you’re one of the “lucky” ones who got a soulmate, but what if the universe gives you more than you bargained for?

(Prompt challenge – You live in a world where your soulmate can write on their skin and you will get the writing on your own and vice versa. Where they can wash away the ink on their own skin, however, the writing is forever scarred onto your skin until you meet face to face)

Word Count: 1939

Warnings: angst and language throughout, mention of suicide

Notes: This was supposed to be for @sorryimacrapwriter​​​​  and their challenge like a year ago, I think? I still loved the prompt though and have been working on this story for quite some time. This aesthetic was made by @quailliamfears thank you so much! Beta’d by @like-a-bag-of-potatoes​​​​, couldn’t have done it without you, as well as @carryonmyswansong​​​​ and @arrow-guy​​​​ and @mrs-dragneel-stark-solo​​​​

Also, I’ve never really liked the whole soulmate AU thing idea, but this felt so right and it was amazing to write. I hope y’all love it too!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Once you arrived at Stephen’s place, you helped him through his morning routine before stating, “If I’m going to stay here nearly all day, I’ll need to get some work done. Is that alright with you?”

“Oh, please, by all means, don’t let me get in the way of your pseudoscience,” he said, making a gesture of moving out of the way. “You can use my office.” 

You rolled your eyes and grabbed your suitcase full of things. “Thanks.” You went in there and made a small work space and began calling patients, trying to schedule them for therapy in the city. You could use another space nearby to start seeing them, depending on how long you would be here. 

When you took a break, you made lunch for you and Stephen. 

“New song today,” you said as you turned on the music, skipping to a random song in your library. 

“You make this so easy,” he boasted before nailing the artist, album name, and release year. 

“I will get you, one day,” you vowed with a grin. 

You went back to your office after the two of you ate, and talked quickly of current events in the news. While you were on the phone with one of your more unstable, and new patients, you had to calm him down. 

“Randy, Randy, take a deep breath for me. There’s nothing we can’t figure out,” you coaxed on the phone, standing up and pacing. 

“You’re two hours away! My father has cancer and I--” He started to sob and you continued to pace. 

“I know. This puts you in a very difficult position.” 

“No, no it doesn’t. It makes everything clearer. I can’t be here.” 

“Be where? Randy, where are you?” 

“It doesn’t matter. You don’t care. No one fucking cares!” he cried out. 

“Yes they do,” you insisted, your heart hammering in your chest. “I do.”

“You’re paid to!”

“That doesn’t mean I don’t care. Randy, tell me where you are. When did you find out your father had cancer?” 

“A few hours ago,” he said. 

“So where are you now?” 

“I’m not going to tell you anything. This is all too much. I just lost my mom a year ago, and now my dad… He might be an abusive son of a bitch, but he’s all I’ve got.” 

You took a deep breath, trying to think of what to say. 

“Randy, are you in danger of hurting yourself or anyone else?” 

He paused, silent a long time before saying, “Just me.” He began crying again. 

You began searching for his address on your laptop from the forms he’d filled out. You marched out of the temporary office and over to Stephen who was sitting on his couch, reading. “Randy, why do you want to hurt yourself?” you asked, making Stephen look up at you. You grabbed a pen and paper and scribbled a message that said to do a welfare check on Randy Smith, with his address. 

“Because I don’t have any body.”

“You told me you have some cousins, how would they feel if you ended your life?” 

“They wouldn’t even know. If they did find out they’d just say, ‘that’s a shame.’.”

You shoved the paper at Stephen with the instructions on it. He nodded and got up, grabbing his phone and going into his bedroom. 

“No friends? Girlfriend? Coworkers? Randy, everyone has something to live for. People aren’t the only thing that make a life go round. You told me you’re a computer programmer, yeah? What do you want to do with that?” 

“Well, I work for a medical software company.” 

“Is that your dream job?” 

“Not really. I mean, I love the programming, but it’s not all I want to do.”

“Tell me about what you do want to do.” 

“I want to program planes, for the military.” 

“See? That’s a noble cause. It’ll help your country. Randy, if you end your life now, that’s your choice, but you won’t get the chance to tell your father what he has done to you. You won’t get the chance to talk with me, to work through problems I know you can work through. You sought me out for help, please, let me help. Don’t miss this opportunity to take control of your life, and make it what you want to be.” 

Stephen walked back in the room and he said, “They went to the house, there was no one there.” 

“Randy?” you said again. “Randy, please, don’t make a mistake based on how you’re feeling right now in this moment. We know that all feelings pass, and you may be in the dark right now, I know you might be very far in there, in a pit you feel like you can’t climb out of. But that’s why you hired me, isn’t it? This cancer situation with your father is just that, it’s a situation we need to navigate together. I’ll help you every step of the way. You just need to tell me where you are and we can begin therapy as soon as you'd like.” 

After what seemed like an eternity, he finally said, “I’m in the parking garage… Oh, god, Dr. Y/L/N, please help me.” 

You held in your sigh of relief and replied, “I will, Randy, I will. I’ll be right there.” You hung up and called the police, telling them where he was. 

“I’m so sorry, Stephen, but I have to go,” you said hurriedly. 

He merely nodded as you grabbed your purse and ran out the door. 

Once the crisis was averted, you got him checked into the hospital, and you talked with him for a bit. Once he felt safe and secure, you left him in the capable hands of the hospital. You came back to the apartment, drained. 

“That was, uh, impressive,” Stephen noted. “Guess it’s more than just a pseudo science.”

“Guess so,” you responded tiredly. 

“So what made you decide to do this work?” he asked.

You scoffed. “Oh, so now you’re suddenly interested?” 

“Now that I saw you save a man’s life over the phone? Yes, I am. I’m very impressed. I can only save lives with my own hand. You did it with nothing but your own words, your own voice.” 

“I suppose I did. Well, if you must know, I simply want to help people. I love making sure people are okay and knowing I had a hand in that.”

“That’s rather noble.” 

You laughed. “That’s what Charles said when I told him when we first started corresponding.” 

“It’s true though.”

“So how about you? Saving lives, that’s quite noble. Is that why you do what you do?”

He laughed now. “Far from it. I just love the thrill.” 

You nodded slowly. “Ah, yes, people love holding other people’s lives in their hands for the thrill of it. I would say correct me if I’m wrong, but I know I’m not, and the only people who do that are those with antisocial personality disorder. You don’t strike me as the type, despite your best efforts.” 

Stephen smiled widely at this. “Touche. Uh, if you really want to know. I had a tragedy happen when I was younger. The thing you said when we first met, about losing someone close, someone family… you were right. Long story short, I wanted to save lives. That’s all I want to say on it.”

You pressed your lips together before nodding and saying, “Thank you, for sharing with me. I bet that was hard.”

“Don’t use your psychiatrist voice on me. I don’t need to be pitied or patronized.” 

“I’m not. I’m simply being sympathetic. I truly believed you went through something hard and I appreciate you telling me. Opening up to me is a great honor, I feel.” 

He semi-rolled his eyes. You realized you needed to take a different approach here. Stephen didn’t like talking about his past, in regards to his family. But Christine made it clear that he was arrogant, so maybe you should talk about his achievements. 

“Christine told me you were driving to a convention when your crash happened, to speak at a conference.” 

“Yes, I was.”

“Do you enjoy it? Speaking, that is, about your work?” 

“I do, I love it actually. Have you ever done it?” 

You shrugged slightly. “I’ve done it a handful of times but she said you did it often and were very good at it.”

“I’d like to say so, but she said she didn’t ever enjoy it.” 

“That’s too bad. I wish I could’ve been your date,” you admitted. “You seem like you’d actually have fun at those things.”

“I did. I wish I could still do it.” 

“You will, one day, I know it.” You grinned at him and the two of you ordered take-out. 

------------------------

Things turned south for Stephen though. He couldn’t afford the high price of his Manhattan penthouse without his job. He’d burned through all of his money trying to chase every cure. When he finally realized this, he went nuts.

“I’m losing my home!” he shouted as he ran around his room in a robe, looking like a mad man.

“It’s just an apartment, Stephen. We can find you a new one.”

“Oh, yes, because you have so much free time.”

“I do. I came here to help you, didn’t I?” you challenged. 

“I don’t need you to be a realtor.”

“Why not? You’ve made me a nurse, a cook, a maid. It’s clear you don’t want me as a soulmate, and friend is still even up for debate. Why not just make me your realtor?” 

“You’ve never lost anything, have you? Otherwise you wouldn’t be so heartless about this.”

You stopped, staring at him. “I’ve lost something before. I’m not being heartless, Stephen. I’m being realistic. You spent all of your money. You aren’t making any more. You have to move out of a place you can no longer afford. You’re always raving about logic and statistics and things you can see, well look at the statistics if you keep trying to live here.” 

“This is everything I’ve worked for.”

“No, it’s not. It’s a side effect of what you can do. There is more to life than just your work. You dedicated yourself like this once before, you can do it again. You didn’t work for a fancy palace in a shining city. You worked to be the best god damn neurosurgeon you can be and it paid off and it got you this. But you don’t have this any more. You don't have the means. I know it hurts, I know it sucks. But crying about it, getting pissed off about it, isn’t going to change the fact that your hands are beyond repair.”

He looked at you as if he hated you and your nerves just steeled. You couldn’t waiver from him, from this, not now. Not when he needed you most. 

“I’m here to help you. So help me help you, before you end up on the streets. Alright?” 

He sat down on his bed, his head in his hands. You were standing on the opposite side of the bed before you got on it and crawled over, putting your hands on his shoulders and resting your cheek against his back. 

“We will figure this out. Okay?” 

A long silence passed before he said, “I never wanted to end up like this.” 

“I know, sweetheart, I know.” You kissed his robe clad shoulder. “We’ll get you another apartment, another job. You’re still a doctor. It’s not the end of the world.”

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

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[dweetwise]

random thought, but what if the party had been in the entity's realm? i dunno, seeing el just yeet palettes at killers would be a sight though kjdshkjs

i did this whole speech about how i can’t deal with kid characters in dbd so have some of the adult cast instead! i’m sorry it’s not what you wanted but i hope it’s ok <3 also let’s imagine them joining separately or this won’t make much sense. spoilers for st season 3!

Stranger Things characters as dbd survivors

Jonathan

So many tears from both sides when he reunites with Nancy. She's heartbroken that he's stuck here now too, but is also really happy to be with him.

Jonathan doesn't care about being trapped for potentially eternity. He’d literally do anything to be with her, and he would have come voluntarily.

Leans his forehead against a crying Nancy’s, smiles and murmurs “What’s one more shared trauma?” while Nancy chokes out a laugh through her tears.

They're disgustingly adorable at camp, constantly sharing soft looks and smiles and inside jokes.

Nancy will need lots of reassuring that Jonathan’s mom and brother will be okay without him, and that her own family is coping.

With Jonathan around, Nancy starts coming out of her shell more. She gets a lot of her fire back, determined to find a way out and rebel against the Entity.

Jonathan and Steve quickly become friends, as they were on good terms even before, but Jonathan is so grateful Steve has been there for Nancy. Steve is just glad to have a familiar face and is super happy for them.

Would probably bond with Jake because they're both pretty damn weird. Also Claudette and Adam, being the more quiet types, and Zarina for the photography.

Robin

Fucking screaming when her and Steve see each other at the campfire. “Dingus! Where the fuck have you been!?”

When she's given the ‘welcome to the fog’ talk by Dwight, her smile fades. “You're kidding,” she says, eyes wide, before turning to Steve. “Please tell me he's kidding.” “Sorry,” Steve cringes.

Is surprisingly quick to embrace the situation, following Steve’s lead in dealing with the situation with humor. Steve gets even more dorky and hyper than before, happy to have his partner in crime back.

Imagine Steve and Robin, full scoops outfits, bullying the shit out of killers.

She vibes with Nea and Feng who totally teach her all their toxic little tricks. She also finally gets to properly know Nancy, and they become fast friends as they have a lot in common and Nancy loves hearing about what happened in Hawkins after they were taken.

A lot of the other survivors mistake Robin and Steve for a couple, right up until Robin gets visibly flustered by a bear hug from Kate. She secretly also ends up crushing hard on Claudette, but doesn’t tell a soul, not even Steve.

That doesn’t stop her from bugging Steve about whether he has a crush and to let her wingwoman for him.

Once starts talking to Anna in Russian and nearly gets adopted and starved to death, but is luckily saved by Bill forcefully pushing her out through the exit

When she gets overwhelmed by the death and violence, Steve sneaks her away and lets her cry on his shoulder. Other times she tells stories of Dustin and the other kids, who looked for Steve and Nancy every day for months, and pets his hair while he quietly sobs into his Scoops hat.

Joyce

Steve and Nancy couldn’t be more confused upon seeing Joyce. “Mrs. Byers? What are you doing here?”

She's worried about her boys but quickly pulls herself together. Reassures Nancy that Jonathan is safe and free from Hawkins drama, though he’s never been able to get over Nancy after her disappearance.

“What about the kids? Are they okay?” mama bear Steve butts in. He smiles brightly every time she tells him stories about the kids’ adventures he’s missed.

She's a resourceful lady and does quite well in the trials. Hates most killers but is still furious with Demo for kidnapping her boy. Even David looks a little intimidated by her unbridled rage when she’s up against the killer, slamming pallets on its head and chasing it down when it tries to whimper away.

Will scold Legion like a disappointed mother. “What are you doing, boy? Is this what your parents would have wanted?” Joey actually pauses mid-frenzy, knife raised, before lowering the weapon and shuffling his feet in shame. “Sorry, ma'am.”

She's a good addition to the survivor camp, as they’ve never had a literal mom figure before. Laurie especially really looks up to her, and Meg loves her no-nonsense attitude. Joyce looks after the younger survivors and is on pretty good terms with everyone.

Well. With the exception of Ace. Upon first meeting him, she slaps him when he goes in for a cheesy kiss on her hand. “I was just told I’m stuck in an endless cycle of murder and violence—do you really think that's appropriate?” she scolds while Ace just grins.

Out of everyone, she’s the most determined to find a way out, inspiring a lot of the others with new hope.

Hopper

He's very confused and angry about the realm, even after Steve and Nancy explain everything. At this point he’s seen so much weirdness he’s just done with all the paranormal bullshit.

Just wants to go back to El and feels like her and the kids and the entire goddamn town of Hawkins need him.

Sucks in trials at first. “So let me get this straight... I have to repair machines and run circles around a piece of wood while a murdered is after me?” “Pretty much, yeah,” Steve shrugs. “Right, not happening. My gun has to be around here somewhere!”

Instant bros with Tapp because good cop and… good cop? Tapp is able to get through his thick skull with strategic advice, and they’re both very much about protecting the other survivors.

Fits in well with the rest of the Old Man Squad (TM) as well, even though Ash keeps trying to one-up his stories, Bill refuses to share his cigarettes, Felix constantly talks about weird future stuff, and Ace always teases him about his shit poker face.

He’s instantly very protective of Steve and Nancy and easily adopts Cheryl, Nea, Quentin, Laurie, Feng, Meg—the list goes on.

Billy

He did slightly redeem himself just before his death, but is still hesitant to join the group, thinking Steve and Nancy hate him after all the shit he put them and their friends through.

Nancy is wary but Steve is quick to forgive and forget. “Just don’t kick my ass or, y’know, try to kill us again, yeah?” Steve laughs a little shakily and, knowing Steve had more beef with him than her, Nancy follows his lead and eventually comes around.

Has a lot of banter with David, and nobody can really tell if they're best bros, hate each other's guts or have the hots for one another. The Entity gives him a shirtless skin too and they can usually be seen obnoxiously flaunting their abs together.

A lot of the others make fun of his hair and pretty boy look. Luckily he can take it in stride, dishing out just as much cheeky comments about Feng’s neon hair and some of Ace’s more questionable outfits.

Tries to hit on Jane because he's a thirsty fuck but gets a very patronizing “Talk to me in a decade, honey,” for his efforts.

Eventually opens up to Nancy that it's not fair for her and Steve to be stuck here, as they didn't do anything wrong. He thinks he deserves the punishment, and is surprised the Entity didn’t make him a killer after what he did.

He’s still a cocky little shit, though much more genuine than before—dying probably has that effect on you.

*cries* i’m so happy i got to write jancy i love them so much ;w; also i would 110% ship joyce and ace but i doubt anyone is surprised

[live-long-and-time-warp]

It’s hard to leave your toxic friends... but it’s so worth it

I don’t normally do this, but as I sat in a Saturday morning meeting thinking about all of the things I felt this past Friday, I felt compelled to share my story.

A brief background: throughout college and for several years afterward, I considered my tight-knit group of college friends as some of my closest. In addition to my best friend of 20 years, some friends from high school, my work team, and some other dear friends scattered across the globe and throughout the U.S., this group of college friends was who I considered to be my foundation. This group of friends was extremely important to me, but it was not without its bumps in the road.

In my senior year of college, I had a falling out with one of these friends, the ringleader I’ll call her. I say this because she is quite honestly the source of 95% of my problems with this group. She is a master manipulator, and an expert gaslighter. There were a few others that contributed to this too, but she was by far the worst.

I can’t elaborate on every single thing that this person said and did over our 7 year “friendship” but a brief summary would be: asking me point blank if I thought I might be a lesbian after coming out as bi (to this friend group and in her presence, I might add) only several months prior; asking me how much money I spend on books about “Chernobyl” every month with the implication that she’s concerned about my finances; telling me that my resume may not be as impressive as I think it is (I’m the deputy director of a nonprofit with both state-based and national projects and had been for close to a year prior to this conversation); would clean up the crumbs from in front of me while I was still eating and comment on my messiness; told me that one of our mutual friends doesn’t like discussing politics with me because I get too fired up (again, I work for a nonprofit that deals with social justice); telling me that crying while comforting my friend who had just lost a loved one to suicide after they began crying was weird and that I “stole her thunder” (we were slightly drunk, I’m an empath, and she was talking about some deeply personal things that moved me and crying was my natural response... and oddly, she was appreciative of my tears because I was “the only person that actually stayed with her”); and so much more that I know I’m forgetting.

There were many other things more insidious, including gaslighting me about my inclusion in several group activities and why it should have been obvious why one friend disliked me enough to not invite me to her wedding after years of claiming cluelessness.

In our senior year, I left that friend for the first time after she humiliated me at a party by commenting loudly and with condescension on my weight. When I cut ties with her, I felt as if I had just left an abusive relationship, and for a while I didn’t want to seek a friendship with her again.

But the other friends in our group still hung out with both of us, so eventually I allowed myself to be sucked back in. 

In the years after we graduated, I thought that this person had actually changed- I worked abroad for a year after college, and after returning I saw a marked difference in her demeanor and how she interacted with us. She seemed more self-aware of how her words and actions adversely affected other people, and I thought that maybe the ugliness of that horrible portion of my senior year was now just a faded scar.

But then things escalated very quickly. Over the course of several weeks at the beginning of this year, I started to feel myself questioning whether I had made the right choice in rejoining the group: I was so sure of how I felt after I left it the first time, I felt so empowered and free. So why did I allow myself to rejoin them? Was it really the right choice?

I got my answer a week after the insurrection at the Capitol. One friend who already had a history of saying hateful things about women (which I tried to put a stop to to no avail) finally went full white supremacist asshole, and instead of joining me in calling his comments unacceptable and defending me as he mansplained my job to me, the ringleader criticized me and told me that “I can work in activism and politics and be wrong”.

That’s the moment I finally woke up.

I left the chat that very moment. Every time they added me back without my consent, I left again.

Every time I got message from the ringleader that was full of gaslighting comments and false apologies, I didn’t say a word. Just deleted the message. Finally, I was able to gather the strength needed to block those toxic friends from all social media and my phone. One of these friends was someone I tried to make like me for years after I was told that she hated me for no reason, by her own admission.

Some may not agree with this approach, but I made the choice to cut contact and go radio silent on my own after consulting my friends, specifically my best friend who had been there for me during the incident my senior year.

As weeks went by, some of the true friends from that group reached out, and then immediately backed off after my polite request for space, indicating that I was welcome back at any time and they were always here for me.

The ringleader chose the opposite approach. She continued to gaslight me, made a group chat with myself, the white supremacist, and herself. She sent me messages from her second account, one that I remembered to unfriend but forgot to block. She told me that if I don’t “course correct” by a certain date she would block me on my account (too late, bro) and that “we wish you all the best”. This implies that it was on behalf of the entire group, something I know three of them would never do. However, at this point, I have had to distance myself from all of those friends so as not to give the ringleader the attention she wants from me.

I lost over half of my closest friends over night. It felt like my skeleton had been torn from my body. I considered giving in several times and reaching out to them. But now, over a month later, I understand how necessary it was to excise what was essentially a malignant tumor. The Chernobyl researcher in me wants to compare it to Acute Radiation Syndrome (ARS): an unseen poison that slowly infiltrates every part of your mind and body and rots them from the inside out.

2020 was an extremely hard year for me, as it was for so many. I am so lucky and privileged to have been in the financial situation that I was and had the support of my genuine friends and family.

But it was still the worst year of my life. I have suffered from pretty bad OCD for most of my life, and while I usually keep it under control, last year it became nearly impossible to do so. I also fell very deeply into clinical depression, and worked to the point of burn out and exhaustion. The primary thoughts I had during this depression were: 

“Why aren’t you working? You’re lazy.”

“You’re a failure, you’re 26 and haven’t applied to grad school yet.”

“You piece of shit, still living with your parents? What a disappointment.”

“What is wrong with you?”

It was unbearable. I’m honestly not entirely sure how I survived it, but I think a certain 3-year-old goddaughter of mine and a few close, real friends had something to do with it.

I worked very hard with my friends, a therapist, and a psychiatrist to overcome this depression and get my OCD back under control. Now, I feel like such a weight has been lifted off of my shoulders. I still have depression, and the OCD will always be with me (like a bad habit... literally?); but I am so much more happy with myself and my life, as I should be.

And I am very, very, very well aware that therapy was not the only reason I have recently begun feeling this way. It’s very hard to see that you’re being manipulated while it’s happening. Because of my trusting nature, sometimes manipulative comments would be interpreted as heartfelt guidance.

It wasn’t until I started the journey away from them that I saw just how much this group and their negativity (because even the best of them weren’t always the kindest) impacted my mental health.

The event that made me want to share this story is this: yesterday was a rough work day. As a full-time community organizer, I am pretty much burnt out all of the time. Breaks are taken, but with projects addressing issues from COVID relief to systemic racism and police brutality, it never feels like enough. 

I had to officially take a step back as a sole lead on an annual event that I organized for two years, and it was gut-wrenching.

Now, I cry often, but I don’t usually get to have therapeutic cries. You know what I mean? Like, as you cry, all of the tension that built up in your body by negative feelings is finally being released with every breath and sob?

Well, the dam finally broke in a team meeting on Friday. I started sobbing and couldn’t stop. And my colleagues were so, so kind. They let me vent, they let me cry, they would not accept my apologies for crying. They told me that I was strong for setting up boundaries, and that they were here for me.

We spent a lot of time at the end of the meeting each talking about our self-care routines. And as I sit here typing this, I am actively trying not to cry at the purity of their support.

This experience has taught me what real friends are. Real friends do not put limitations on your emotions and fears.

Real friends do not give you deadlines for processing your feelings.

Real friends do not criticize you for things that, while they may not agree with, do not affect anyone’s health or marginalize anyone.

Real friends don’t marginalize vulnerable communities.

Real friends help and support you with constructive criticism (when it’s asked for) and love, not patronization and manipulation.

I thought I knew all of these things before, but I know now that I am still learning... and that that is perfectly okay. I don’t regret most of the times we shared together. I am appreciative of the positive memories that their friendships gave me.

Three of the friends in this group are actually good people, and maybe one day when the dust is settled I’ll reach out to them and establish one-on-one friendships with them (if they want to). 

And I have to thank my real friends, including @tryingtobealwaystrying, for all saying the exact same thing: you deserve so much happiness and fuck all of those guys.

So, the point of this post is to tell everyone this: you can leave your toxic friends. It’s incredibly difficult, stressful, and honestly traumatizing. And there’s no shame in needing time or feeling unable to leave those friends now. There’s also no shame in returning to those friends.

But please know, from this nerd to the reader: anyone that makes you feel any less than the beautiful, amazing human being you are and doesn’t want to help you become an even better human on your own terms is not a true friend. They don’t deserve you or the light you can bring into their lives.

And every agonizing step away from those friends is a step closer to a happier, healthier life.

[stepboldlyjess]

so today i was chatting with @christineenjoysbooks and we came up with some theories surrounding Jack and his background. i made up one and i think it makes quite a bit of sense. i’ve explained it in the story below and i hope you agree with me. i hope you like it :)

Lies

Morrigan heard a knock on the door interrupting her reading. She looked down to her waist where the tentacles of her octopus chair were wrapped around her. She tried to wriggle out of its grip but she was unsuccessful. She sighed and sat back.

“It’s open!” she yelled.

The door clicked open to reveal Jack and Jupiter. They walked into her room. Morrigan smiled as she saw them.

“Jupiter! You’re home!”

“Hi, Jack. How are you? Oh, I’m fantastic, Morrigan. How about you?” Sarcasm dripped from Jack’s voice.

Morrigan rolled her eyes. “Hi, Jack. How are you?”

“Fantastic.”

“Alright you two, that’s enough.” Jupiter and Jack walked over to Morrigan’s bed and sat down. Jupiter’s face suddenly became very nervous. “Mog, can we speak to you?”

Morrigan closed her book. “‘We’? Why ‘we’? Why not just you? What’s going on? Have you decided you love Jack more than me and you’re sending me back to Jackalfax?”

Jupiter’s eyes widened in horror. “Goodness no! I would never do that! No, we just want to talk to you about—“

“About me.” Jack cut off Jupiter.

Morrigan frowned. “You? What about you?”

Jupiter and Jack stayed silent.

“Okay, I’m very confused right now so it would be greatly appreciated if someone told me what was going on.”

Jupiter was the first to speak.

“You know Jack’s my nephew, right?”

Morrigan slowly nodded.

“Haha! It’s a prank. I’m not his nephew!”

Jupiter suddenly got very quiet. Morrigan looked between him and Jack.

“I—um—excuse me?”

“Mog, you’re going to need to relax, okay? You have to promise not to get mad. We can’t have you...” Jupiter shook his head. “Nothing. I’m not going to say that.” Jupiter looked down to his lap guiltily.

“Can’t have me what? Can’t have me getting angry and using my Wunder? I’m trying, okay? I’m trying so hard not to be the dangerous entity I’m made out to be. So just say what you’re going to say and get this over with.”

Jupiter sighed. “Jack’s a witness. Like me. You know that.” Jupiter swallowed. “Two years before I brought you to Nevermoor, Jack competed in the Wunsoc Trials.”

Morrigan’s jaw dropped. She tried to get up but her chair’s tentacles were still wrapped firmly around her waist. “What do you mean he competed in the Wunsoc Trials? Are we talking about the same Wunsoc? The one I’m in?”

Jupiter nodded. “Yeah. His patron’s name was Ruby Westfield. She was a very nice lady—“

Jack laughed.

“Unfortunately, Jack didn’t make it through the Show Trial.”

Morrigan blinked in surprise. “What? Why? You got accepted! And you’re a witness, too!”

Jack sighed. “I wasn’t in control of it yet. Not like I am now. I would look at something and just see colours. In my Show Trial, I was so overwhelmed by everything I saw that I passed out. Jupiter ran to me and took me home. It was the most humiliating day of my life.”

“Jupiter ran to you? Why not Ruby?”

“Mog, what I’m about to tell you now does not leave this room. You are not to tell anyone. Understood? Not even Hawthorne.”

Morrigan nodded.

“I also need you to breathe. Not because I’m worried about you hurting Jack or I, I’m worried about you hurting yourself. Okay?”

Morrigan took three deep breaths.

“Jack’s not from Nevermoor.”

Morrigan froze and looked at Jack. He smiled at her apologetically. Morrigan looked back at Jupiter, silently urging him to continue.

“He’s from the Republic. Like you.”

“You mean—“ Morrigan’s throat was suddenly very dry. “—You mean he’s here illegally?”

Jupiter thought about this. “Well, yes and no. We pulled a few strings like we did with you, so now nobody suspects a thing.

“Jack was brought here by Ruby to compete in the Trials. However, shortly after his third trial, she passed away. Apparently, she had been battling illness the whole time. I was...close to Ruby so I started taking care of Jack. Once he was no longer under the protection of Wunsoc Law, we needed to figure out how to keep him in Nevermoor—“

“Why? What about his family in the Republic?”

Jupiter looked to Jack who answered her question.

“I...didn’t have any. I lived at the orphanage. From what Jupiter tells me, it wasn’t far from where you lived. I begged Jupiter not to take back there. It was a living hell.”

Morrigan felt empathy grow in her stomach. She knew what he was going through. She had felt the same when she thought she would be sent back to the Republic.

“So I told everyone he was my nephew. We got him fake papers and a citizenship. Mog, you can’t tell anyone, okay? If you do, Jack could be taken away from me. You too. I couldn’t bear that.”

Morrigan felt a wave of anger flood over her. She felt the familiar taste of ash rise in the back of her throat and she tried to keep it down. “So your great idea was to lie to me for two years? What great thing to do, Jupiter! You’re being such a role model! In the future how will I deal with my problems? Oh, I’ll just do what Jupiter did and lie my way out of things! Way to go! Let me guess, were you and Ruby actually dating? Is that why you started looking after Jack?”

Jupiter’s face suddenly got very red. Morrigan leant back against her chair.

“Great. Just great. You know what? I can’t be around you two right now.” She tried to push against the restraints of her chair. With each failure she would get more angry. The flame rose in her throat and the tears pooled in her eyes.

Without knowing what was going to happen, Morrigan stopped trying to get out of her chair. She let out a sob and started crying. However, it wasn’t a sob.

It was a flame.

She looked to Jupiter and Jack. Jupiter looked worried but Jack looked scared. Morrigan felt reality hit her like a brick as she looked at her friend’s terrified expression.

She slumped down into her chair and felt weight move from her waist. It seemed as if the chair knew what would happen before it did. It kept her restrained so that she wouldn’t cause any damage.

Morrigan started crying again. The sobs shook her body. The tears rolled down her face and landed on her shirt, soaking through the fabric.

Jupiter walked over to her and began rubbing her back. “Shhh, it’s okay, Mog. Breathe. Come on.”

“No. No.” Morrigan shut her eyes and shook her head. “I’m a monster.”

The word hung in the air, making the room feel heavy. Morrigan was surprised when she felt arms lift her up off the chair and wrap around her.

“Don’t say that, Morrigan.”

Morrigan opened her eyes and was surprised when she saw a head of black hair. She wrapped her arms around Jack’s shoulders and cried into his shirt.

When she pulled away she turned to Jupiter. She was surprised to see tears in his eyes.

“Jupiter—“

“You are not a monster, Morrigan Crow. Don’t you ever think that. I will not tolerate it. You are a little girl. Not a monster.”

Morrigan wrapped her arms around Jupiter’s middle.

“Promise me one thing, Jupiter?”

“Anything, Mog.”

“Don’t lie to me ever again. Please.”

“Never again.”

Morrigan squeezed her arms around him. “I love you, Jupiter.”

Jupiter let out a small sob. “I love you more.”

so basically in the theory jack is from the republic. he was chosen to compete in the trials by his patron. his patron was jupiter’s partner. she is the girl in the pictures on jupiter’s desk. she’s died, leaving jupiter to look after jack. jack is in nevermoor illegally so being jupiter’s nephew is his cover. hopefully this makes sense.

my other theory, which is less exciting, is that the girl in the pictures is jupiter’s sister which is jack’s mum. that makes the most sense but it’s not as fun 😂

i hope you enjoyed the story!

[rosesisupposes]

also 114 + roceit?

Lover Prompts

114:  “I once believed love would be burning red, but it’s golden”

⁂

pairing: Roceit

tags: post-breakup, bartender/patron, bad ex, nobinary Deceit, Deceit is named Dante, this is a lot of projection and i won’t apologize

word count: 1,815

read on ao3

⁂

The day Roman met Dante was the worst day of his life.

Not because of them. The two events were unrelated. (Time’s just funny that way).

But the fact remains that Dante’s first words to him were “Well don’t you look like shit. What happened, did the Beast steal your Belle?”

To D’s credit, they had no idea what an effect their words would have. But that didn’t stop Roman from flipping them off as he started to cry all over their bar again.

And that left them with a choice. Ignore the crying man, as they’ve ignored so many bar patrons, passing him drinks in silence until he drinks himself into becoming a part of it. It would be a little different - most patrons aren’t in an outfit that looks straight out of a Disney coloring book. But they could do it. Or, instead, they could do this.

“Forgive me, Princey, that was uncalled for. Let me get you a drink, you tell me all about it, hmm?”

And the man dressed like a prince looked up, tears still leaking out of his eyes, and nodded. 

Dante was a professional. They prided themselves on the ability to match a drink to a mood - not always what their patrons wanted, but always what they needed. And what this face needed was maudlin, but not self-pitying. Something with some sweetness, but complexity.

“Un Vieux Carre pour le monsiuer,” they said with a smile, sliding the elegant cocktail to land in the man’s immediately open hand. 

“Merci beaucoup,” he responded, almost automatically. He took a sip, and paused, looked down into the glass, and carefully took a second, swirling it in his mouth.

“Like it? It’s a New Orleans classic,” Dante said, leaning on the bar. It was a quiet Tuesday night, they had time to chat. “Let me know what you think, or if you want, you can tell me why royalty is getting weepy in my bar tonight.”

Tears started leaking once more.

“Or we can start with your name?”

“Roman.”

“Good evening, Roman. I’m Dante. If you forgot about seeing the sign already, this is The Snake’s Den bar, and I’m the snake. Now that we’re all caught up, how’s that drink-”

“It’s my fucking boyfr- my fucking ex!” Roman cried out suddenly, interrupting the bartender’s calm voice. “That absolute- he just- and then he-!” and there were tears leaking down his face again, but hotter now, dripping with anger and not just despair. He swigged more of his drink, and kept talking, words tumbling out like a burst dam.

“We’d been together for years, and I thought it was perfect, ya know, we were both actors! We understood the struggle together! And he’d encourage me to try out for the big parts that I would have only dreamed of, but I actually got some of them! And then this- this fucking play, it’s only my childhood dream, and he says, “Oh, wouldn’t it be fun to be castmates?” and we both audition, me for the Beast and him for Gaston, but then it turns out, oh, actually, he went the FUCK behind my back and auditioned for the Beast too!”

Dante listened, nodding and humming in understanding, a perfect sounding board. “That must have been tense when he told you,” they offered sympathetically.

Roman slumped at that. “I wish. My friend texted me that the cast list had been posted and I wasn’t on it. I told him I was on the way to his place cause I needed to talk, and before I could get there, he… broke up with me. Via text message.”

In spite of themself, Dante gasped aloud. “He did not!”

“He did! Like, am I in some fuckin’ teenage melodrama?! Did I somehow date a cartoonishly terrible villain in a DCOM?!”

Dante nodded sagely. “Perhaps that’s why he didn’t go for Gaston - he wouldn’t have had to act at all.”

Roman leaned forward, eyes flashing. “And you know what’s even worse?! He’d been helping me prepare for my audition and listening to all the ideas I’ve had for how I would play the Beast, if I got the chance! But I didn’t want to make too bold a choice in the audition room, so I was holding out. And that piece of shit used my idea to get the part!”

“A scoundrel and a thief!”

“And you know the absolute worst part?”

“What?”

Roman seemed to freeze as his thought connected from brain to mouth and he processed it fully. His shoulders slumped. “I wish he’d take me back.”

Dante stood up straight. “My dear Roman emperor, let me be the first to tell you: bullshit. To quote a wise scholar: “He doesn’t deserve you! If he doesn’t treat you right by now, you’re gone.””

Roman smiled weakly. “But he- he pushed me, in my acting. He was my fire, the one who encouraged me to be ambitious and dream big and- without him… I don’t know that I’ll be able to.”

Dante nodded. They spoke softly, calmly. “Roman, I’m going to say something that might be hard to hear. His actions in these auditions? They showed that not only did he not respect this dream, but he never respected any of them. He only wanted you to succeed as far as it made him look good.”

Roman scowled. “He was an ass, but he wasn’t that, he wasn’t just a manipulative bastard, he believed in me-”

“He didn’t,” Dante interrupted. They were still calm, almost gentle. “He believed in his ability to keep pushing you to be an asset to him. Until it wasn’t beneficial anymore.”

“No-”

“And you knew this, deep down. And that part of you wasn’t taken by surprise.”

Roman stared, his face a mask of many emotions at once - confusion, heartbreak, denial, acceptance, but what won out was rage.

“You know what? Fuck you, I don’t need your psychoanalysis bullshit! Hasn’t my day been hard enough? See you fucking never!”

Dante watched him storm out, leaving the rest of his drink. A man in a prince costume, disappearing into the night. If it had been a decent narrative, it would have been raining.

But narratives aren’t often perfect.

Neither are promises made in anger.

Dante looked up to see Roman arriving back at The Snake’s Den only days later, looking a bit chagrined and only slightly less regal out of costume.

“Barkeep, I regretfully did not pay for my drink at our last encounter, and have come to rectify it.”

Dante nodded graciously. “While I appreciate your integrity, it was on the house.”

“Nevertheless, I insist that you accept payment.”

“Why don’t you have another, keep me company on slow evening?” they suggested.

Roman hesitated for all of a second before sitting down once more, the same stool as the last time.

Two months later, it was Roman’s Stool and no one dared occupy it even in his absence, unless it was truly and utterly packed.

In two months more, Roman had dragged friends to the Den too, but none became a fixture the way the actor was.

And one week after that, it was another quiet evening. A Tuesday, just as it had been before. (Time is rather funny that way).

And in one of the comfortable silences that patron and bartender often found themselves sliding into and out of with ease, Roman cleared his throat.

Dante looked up. “Yes, darling?” Their nicknames and pet names had escalated the day Roman realized he needed an honorific besides ‘sir’ or ‘madam’ and had chosen ‘dearest,’ but neither of them seemed to mind.

“My dear, I- remember what you said, that first night?”

Dante pursed their lips. “Of course I do. And I stand by it.”

Roman nodded. “I…  I know you do. I know you wouldn’t lie to me.”

“I might lie to other people though,” they pointed out blandly. “Like the people who come in with a sob story when it’s all just their own choices. Because the boss said I can’t call people ‘sad sacks of pathos’ any more.”

“Your way with words will never fail to delight me, my Divine Comedian. I know you didn’t think it was a lie, but I didn’t fully believe you until recently.”

Dante put down their cleaning cloth and leaned in near their friend. “May I be so bold as to ask what changed?”

“So this will sound a little melodramatic-”

“You? Dramatic? Perish the thought.”

“Fuck you too, my sweet serpent.”

Dante blew a kiss and fluttered their eyelashes at him. “Pardon me, I interrupted you, you were saying?”

Roman shifted in his seat, adjusting without meeting Dante’s eyes. “I didn’t want to believe you, that that bastard was never cheering me on for my sake alone. Because- I said he was my fire, and I meant it. He was determined, and ambitious, and I thought that him urging me on meant that I was sharing in it. He was burning red, and that was what I wanted to be, and I thought I could be an equal flame where we burned stronger together.”

Dante nodded, humming quietly in understanding without interrupting. 

“But instead, I was just the candle that helped him burn brighter while slowly melting away. I was always so exhilarated with him, excited but then so exhausted. I always wanted to be more, or wanted to be what he wanted, at least. And he always wanted more. I tried and tried and I could never be enough because he just… he drained me.” A single tear leaked out and courses down Roman’s tan cheek. 

Dante reached over and wrapped their hand around his, and squeezed. “Love could look like that, could look like encouragement and ambition. But I don’t think that’s what you had, Ro.”

Roman blinked up at them. Both realized it was the first nickname based on their actual name that either had used. “So I wasn’t just a fool to think he really meant it?”

“Of course not, sweetheart. He was the fool, to not fully appreciate you.”

The lights of the bar shone through tawny bottles of liquor and glinted off the brass trappings, bathing them in a warm glow. Roman looked up at Dante, and he could have sworn they were absorbing the light and releasing it anew, their golden skin practically incandescent. And their smile, softening as they looked at Roman, focused on brushing away the dampness from his face, a careful and doting look that they never directed at their other friends.

Roman swallowed hard. “Dante, darling?”

They met his eyes, face lighting with a smile that rivaled the sun. “Yes, Roman?”

“I think I know what love looks like, now.”

“And what’s that?”

Roman rose up to Dante’s eye level, cupping their cheek in his hand. “It’s golden,” he breathed out, before their lips met.

[crqstalite]

fic back friday.

i wasn’t actually tagged for this, but poking around on my ao3, aftermath was published only a year prior to now (april 14th, 2020! wow, time is meaningless!). there’s nothing special about the date to be entirely honest, i guess the thought just amuses me, now looking back on a far less developed kodee and my first - albeit hasty, published a few days after finishing mass effect 3 for the first time - fic for mass effect.

beyond the point. aftermath mostly focused on a few months after the end of mass effect three, a sort of reunion fic for the characters, primarily kodelyn and kaidan. it reads a lot like my old writing, lots of monologuing, too many analogies, not enough dialogue. that and that there’s nothing inherently special about it. here kodee reads like any other shepard, and it was long before i gave her any real distinctive personality. beyond what’s below the cut, i characterized the pair of them...just weird. like off somehow. doesn’t read right anymore and i kinda avoid it like the plague at times. i did actually meander back through the fic itself while hunting around for snippets that i liked, and it’s?? not bad. i’m not a huge fan of it anymore (read: not exactly hate but definitely not love either) but it’s a nice benchmark of sorts to see just how far i’ve come in just over a year. under the cut is a few paragraphs if you don’t want to subject yourself to the whole work. it’s not canon to the eye of the storm continuity, btw.

(another interesting note is that i think between this and the original ‘i have questions’ that eventually grew into redamancy is how a handful of people in the ME fandom found me in the first place. there are a few now-mutuals who left comments on this one in particular that i have actually either spoken to a few times now or regularly talk to these days. what a small world.)

It's a blur getting to the hospital from the Normandy. First, everyone is in denial. That there's no way Kodee survived. Kaidan doesn't care. Hell, he was about to just run on foot if that took him to his wife faster. But the docking manager had been sincere. Every account said that Kodelyn Alenko was alive and working at Huerta. People don't believe it's him, C-Sec officers want to stop him through security. He hears Tali making half-hearted apologies alongside Garrus' sarcastic ones.

Hackett had gotten patched in at some point, Kaidan didn't know when. But the story they'd gotten was missing pieces, as if even he didn't understand the miracle that she was. Yet, she was alive and well. Had even started a memorial program for biotics, named after him. Lived up in his old apartment. Was getting reinstated for the second time in the coming weeks.

Liara makes the comment she really shouldn't have been alive. Kaidan knows it's true. He keeps from snapping at her.

He's out of the cab before it even stops, pouring on the speed and flying through the halls on the trails of hope. The thought she might be with someone else now, it crosses his mind but he doesn't care. The adrenaline is pumping through his veins, hell he's left Joker in the dust with EDI. Liara and Garrus have just barely caught up with him once he sees the check-in desk. The wide eyes of patrons don't matter as he searches the eyes and faces for the woman he loves.

-

Kodee can't stop asking for confirmation, from anyone. From Raya, from the nurses and the doctors. No one has a solid answer except for that the Normandy really was docked in Bay D-24. The ghost ship had finally come back to the Citadel. Everyone had been accounted for by the docking manager. Jeff Moreau, Liara T'soni, Tali'Zorah Nar Rayya Vas Normandy, Garrus Vakarian, James Vega. EDI had been among them as well, though they hadn't immediately managed to classify her as part of the crew.

The moment Kaidan Alenko hits the voice of Raya, that's the moment she feels like the world shatters around her. That the last seven months hadn't been for nothing. More aggressive than necessary, she demands she know where they all are. She apologizes once the Asari says she truly doesn't know. Kodee leaves her coat behind, willing the elevator to move faster as it hits the ground floor. Playing with her hair, eventually deciding to tie it up as she races out of the elevator.

Through the labs, she gets odd stares. This wasn't like the usually pacifist Mrs. Alenko, odd for someone of her status. What was going on, no one knew. Her heart swells, hoping there isn't a lie behind what she's been told. Where they've been.

She hits the patient lounge, and the doors slide open just as she enters the room.

-

Time stills. The lounge isn't full, but it isn't as if they don't have an audience.

His deep auburn eyes meet her matching set from across the room.

He's disheveled, he knows that. He hasn't seen hair product in months. His clothes have ripped from various adventures after the crash.

She's put together, hair pulled back and wearing clothes she wouldn't be caught dead in during her service on the Normandy.

He remembers everything about her. More scars, yes. Longer hair that reaches her shoulders in a ponytail. But the way she freezes, her lips gently parted, he remembers that. Remembers every curve and muscle on her body.

She sees him for what he is, but still knows who he was. His hair had grown out, he had more of a five o'clock shadow than usual -- maybe twelve. But his stance, as he just barely manages to skid to stop. Remembers every touch, remembers how it made her feel.

Liara and Garrus just barely hit the lounge before time starts again.

Then, they've flown into each other's arms. Tears flowing down their cheeks as they hold each other so tightly. Like they can't fathom how the other is here. Like if they let go, they'll wake up from the dream. She can't breathe, through choked sobs and how tight he holds her, surprised that he and the crew hadn't died. He can't believe she's here, spending so long thinking she was dead. Their names cross each other's lips a few times before they're breathing hard and finally look up at one another properly. The kiss is hard, there's loss and sadness behind it but hope within it. Her hands are shaking, and the way she holds his face with her hands is so reminiscent of the battle for Earth. But he's not crying because he's lost her, God he's crying because he's found her.

Leaning their foreheads against each other and shaking with their laughter, they become all too aware of the crew joining them. Cheers from the patients and attendants alike for the two human Spectres. Liara first as she nearly flies over to her Commander, her own tears so evident as she runs up to her, Tali following after. James even manages a hug in, saying something about thinking Lola was dead. Garrus allows her a hug shortly after. EDI and Joker bring up the rear, and though it so very clearly pains him, he runs as fast as he can up to her as well. She's never been this happy to see her pilot. All of them are laughing or crying, or really both. EDI seems wary at first, as if she doesn't belong before she steals a hug from the AI.

[let-me-write-shit]

Somebody To You: 4

I post a new chapter every Monday, Wednesday, and Friday!

Warning: implied smut

Word Count: 4,806

Click Here For Previous Chapter & Other Completed Stories

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CHAPTER FOUR

“If you two don’t stop eye fucking I’m gonna have to call HR,” Andy whispered with a smile in Zoey’s ear, hip checking her as he passed.

Zoey forced her eyes off of Brett from the other side of the bar and felt around her chin to make sure she hadn’t drooled. Two weeks had passed since they had slept together and the sexual tension between them only seemed to grow. Flirting only barely seemed to get her by and Andy consistently pointed out that she was staring again.

“Why don’t you just fuck in the storage room and be done with it? Y'all are making me horny just looking at you two,” Andy dumped ice into a shaker and started mixing a drink for a patron.

Zoey finished weighing out the last of the liquor for inventory and looked at him incredulously, “Why would you put that in my head? Do you think anyone would notice?”

Andy stopped what he was doing and stared at her in disbelief before rolling his eyes dramatically and finished the cocktail. She had gotten her set schedule after the first week, having the same schedule as Andy and work overlapping typically by the second half of Brett’s shift, except Mondays. Mondays were her only early shift day with Brett, ending at 9 PM, and were usually slow, so the night seemed to drag. Luckily, with her new schedule she’d be off Tuesdays and Wednesdays and she works late shift the rest of the week which means more patrons and more tips. And since she worked at a high end bar, most people tended to tip really well. A little cleavage helped, too.

The only downside to working nights was that no one was really home during the day. The only time the girls had was around dinner to catch up and chat, and they had weekends during the day time if no one made plans. But, Aurora’s been really busy with photo and video shoots, interviews, and meetings, and even though Nancy didn’t work a typical nine to five office job, she was still really busy piecing her work together in her room or out of the apartment for a meeting or to prepare fo some kind of deadline with her manager. 

Luckily, her hours matched up with Harry’s schedule pretty well, even though he was on the other side of the country. At night, he obviously had a show to perform, usually while Zoey was at work, but the rest of his day typically consisted of either traveling, small meetings with his tour team, rehearsing, or all three. Still, he always found time to respond to her texts.

Their friendship was strange because they’ve only known each other for two weeks (three if you count the one day they spoke when she first moved in), but it feels like it’s been much longer. She often had to remind herself that he doesn’t know her family and never met Michael, Katie, or Jess whenever they talk about her home life, which was often.

At least once a day, without fail, Harry would ask her to tell him more about Jess, or a memory that she was fond of growing up. The questions always came at the perfect time and he seemed genuinely interested to hear what she had to say, engaging in the conversation. It helped Zoey to talk about Jess - it made her feel as though her best friend’s memory wasn’t fading. That someone cared enough to learn and talk about her in a positive way.

A brief phone call with her family made her realize this when her mom started crying that she missed Zoey and compared her daughter moving across the country to Mr. and Mrs. Lewis losing their daughter in a car accident; that she doesn’t get to see her anymore. Zoey knew she didn’t mean for it to be so insensitive, but her mom got an earful after that. 

During a text conversation with her little sister, Katie, Zoey was filling her in on her outings with her new friends and a simple ‘you deserve to have nice friends again. Jess would have wanted it. I’m happy for you.’ made her bawl, though she’d never tell Katie that. Instead, she ran to Harry to talk about it.

She noticed during one of their chats the week prior that Harry was the only person she’d talk to about Jess without crying. And to prove her point, she had a quick catch up with Michael, and just the memory of the three of them together made her get emotional. It could have been because Harry didn’t know her personally, or because he’s been through similar situations, but she was grateful for the opportunity to involve Jess in a conversation without sobbing by the end of it. 

Herself and Harry had started doing this thing where every time they were being hard on themselves or feeling particularly down, they’d send each other a GIF, video link, or text of a random quote from ‘The Princess Bride’, which always seemed to keep them in check.

Brett started making his way over to her and she hastily got back to work, having some banter with a few of her regulars and grabbing them another glass of beer when she felt a firm hand on her lower back. She drew her attention upwards to Brett who grinned at the men and charmingly joked, “Hello, men. Zoey treating you alright?”

“As always,” they nodded, holding up their newly filled glasses, “She’s our favorite server here.”

“They’re only saying that because I give them beer and let them talk shit,” Zoey smiled at them, shooting them a friendly wink.

“See what I mean? Can’t ask for much else,” one of the men laughed.

Andy overheard the conversation and in passing added a, “she’s just an angel, isn’t she?”

But the men must not have picked up on the sarcasm because they responded, “Yes, she is! Makes no sense why you’re single.”

“Relationships?” Zoey fed into them, “No way. I just got out of a four year relationship. I don’t need to be trapped again so soon.”

It’s not that she didn’t enjoy her relationship with Michael. She did, and he was a lovely guy. It was just her way of communicating with her patrons; by mirroring and matching. It’s how she was able to bond and build relationships so quickly, especially with her regulars. These two in particular loved to talk shit on their wives, so Zoey found ways to add to the conversation without antagonizing the subject. And her favorite trick when having these conversations was to turn their mindset around before they left. Little things to make them ease up on their spouse. Something along the lines of ‘That’s a nice shirt. Did your wife get it for you? She’s got great taste, you look amazing in that!’ or ‘Your wife made you spaghetti for dinner? Lucky guy, I don’t know many women who know how to cook anymore’. Usually little white lies like that made them feel better about their wives without her actually having to say ‘shut the hell up and be nice to your wife, you old dingbat’ and she usually got better tips by the time they left.

The men raised their glasses in agreement to her statement and Brett turned his head to the side, wordlessly asking if he could borrow her for a moment. They stepped towards the back of the bar, doing a quick once over to make sure Andy didn’t need more assistance before he leant against the edge of the counter cooly and asked, “Are we still on for tonight?”

“Yeah. Your shift ends at 9 PM, too, right?” she asked, earning a nod. She continued, “Okay, everyone else will probably take a little longer to get there. Jake and Melissa are gonna be picking up some food, and Andy left a few things at his apartment he needed to grab. So you can always head over with me after work, or meet me there later.”

Nancy had flown back home over the weekend to celebrate her friend’s wedding and spend time with family, and Aurora had gone to Virginia for a shoot where Harry was coincidentally doing a show in the town over which allowed her an opportunity to see him in concert and spend some time with him before he left for the next city in the morning, so Zoey used the empty condo as an opportunity to invite some new friends over for a game night, with her roommates knowledge, of course. All of her friends worked with her on rotating days, so they were used to the hours.

“I’ll just go with you. It’ll be easier that way,” he said casually before his lips twitched upwards, “You know, if you wanted alone time with me, all you had to do was ask.”

“Shut up,” Zoey giggled, playfully hitting his chest.

The rest of their shift steadily got more quiet, slowing out to only six patrons in the bar by the time their shift was over. Andy, Brett, and Zoey clocked out and headed towards the employee parking lot around back. 

“I’ll call you when I’m five minutes away. You better not miss my call to let me in ‘cuz y’all are busy humpin’ on the kitchen counter,” Andy shook a key at them with an eyebrow raised, causing the two to laugh.

“I don’t screw where the food goes,” Brett responded, “but the couch is a different story.”

“Nasty,” Andy scrunched his nose at them before getting in his car and starting it up.

Zoey led Brett to her car, slipping into the driver's seat as he rounded to the passenger side. A few stray hairs had fallen from her messy ponytail and she smoothed them back, turning the AC on low fan. Evenings in May seemed to be fairly cool in LA so far. The stereo bluetooth automatically connected to Zoey’s phone and began playing ‘Are You Bored Yet’ by Wallows, which startled her, quickly turning down the volume. Being in such a confined space with Brett made her nervous. He had a distinct smell of beer and coconuts, which seemed like an odd mix, but somehow it worked. She could really stand a few shots right now to ease the tension. Too bad she was driving.

“So what’s the deal with your roommates? They out?” Brett asked as they pulled onto the freeway.

“Yeah, Nancy’s with her family and Rory is in Virginia for work. She might actually be with Harry right now, though,” she noticed the time, doing quick math and realizing it was Midnight on the east coast and Harry was probably done with his show by now, remembering he said he had some kind of after party planned with a few of his band mates and tour members, which she thought was weird for a Monday night.

“Wild that you’re all friends with him. But it seems like everyone knows everyone in LA, so I shouldn’t be surprised. So what’s his deal? Are they dating?”

When he put it that way, she did find it a little crazy. She never put too much thought into the fact that she knew Harry Styles, let alone was on a friendly communicating basis with him. She supposed it was just because of the timing when they met, she wasn’t in the right headspace, so by the time they started getting close, the shock and exposure to him had already sunk in and didn’t seem new.

“Uh...kinda? I don’t know, it’s complicated,” Zoey responded. 

And it was true. She honestly had no clue what was going on between Harry and Rory. Honestly, she didn’t even think they knew what was going on with each other. She couldn’t blame them, though. They were both super busy at the moment and their hangout today would only make it a total of five times they’ve seen each other in person. She wasn’t even sure if they had an actual date yet or not.

Brett nodded and a moment of silence filled the car. She felt him staring at her and he shifted his body towards her letting his elbow rest on the center console, his muscular arms so big that they lightly brushed against hers. She did a triple take, the pull of his gaze too strong to ignore, “What?” she asked, putting a hand on her cheek to conceal her blushing.

“You should go on a date with me.”

“What?” she sputtered. He was so straightforward and his confidence in his statement took her off guard. Brett was about to repeat himself when it clicked and she said, “I can’t go on a date with you.”

“Why not? Was I that bad in bed?”

“Well, now that you mention it…” she joked. Brett gasped in mock disappointment and she continued, shaking her head, “We work together. I don’t want things to get sticky at work. Besides, I was serious with what I said tonight. I just got out of a four year relationship. I’m not ready to jump into another one right now. Especially not the first guy I sleep with.”

“It’s a date, Zoey. Not a marriage proposal. We can keep it casual if you want. I just like spending time with you, that’s all. Please? Just one date.”

Zoey paused in contemplation. The idea of keeping things casual with Brett did sound appealing. It reminded her of Nancy and Cade’s situation, almost like a friend’s with benefits. No strings attached. She wasn’t opposed to it. If only Jess were here right now to see a sexy Australian man begging to go on a date with her. Twenty five years in Pennsylvania and she barely turned heads, but a week in LA and she’s getting hit on daily by successful, attractive men and her sexy foreign coworker? The move and personality upgrade was really working out for her and she was kicking herself for not listening to Jess sooner.

“I don’t know...”

“If it’ll make you feel more comfortable we can do a double date with someone. Andy and whoever. Or even Rory and Harry. Whoever you want.”

Zoey pursed her lips in contemplation, “Okay, I’ll think about it.” He smiled widely and Zoey quickly added, “Don’t get your hopes up. I haven’t said yes yet.”

“Good enough for me,” Brett said, a smirk spreading across his face, “So what are the odds of me getting you back in that bed tonight?”

“Slim to none,” she snorted.

“...So you’re saying there’s a chance?”

Once at her condo, Brett took a seat at one end of the sectional while Zoey quickly straightened up and drug out a few games from Nancy’s stash, with her blessing. It didn’t take long for Jake and Melissa to show up with a few two liters of soda, three boxes of pizza, and some wings for everyone to enjoy, and as soon as Andy arrived, twenty minutes later, they all dug in while catching up and joking about different work related instances.

They were in the middle of trying to decide if they wanted to play ‘5 Second Rule’ or ‘Incoherent’ when she felt her phone vibrate in her pocket. She struggled to pull it out of her tight black pants and saw a text from Harry. Opening it, she saw a GIF of Princess Bride with the quote that read ‘Life is pain, highness. Anyone who says differently is selling something’.

Zoey snorted, typing back, ‘Okay, melodramatic. What happened? Didn’t get a big enough crowd at the concert tonight?’

She placed her phone face down on her thigh and laughed at Andy who was mocking Brett’s accent because he didn’t want to play ‘5 Second Rule’, which Brett was fighting hard for, listing all the pros and cons to the game. Her phone buzzed again, once, twice, and on the third buzz she got confused, thinking he was sending her rapid texts at first, only to turn the phone over and see that Harry was calling her. She hadn’t expected a call from him, and they never spoke over the phone with each other before like he did with Nancy and Rory. Her friends realized she had gotten a phone call and turned to look at her as she stood up.

“One sec,” she called, heading down the hall.

“Hurry! I need you to back me up so we don’t have to start out with this stressful, dumbass game!” Andy called after her.

She heard Brett quickly retort, “You just don’t like it cuz you can’t think quickly!” and a cracking noise that sounded almost like a slap before slipping into her bedroom and closing the door behind her.

Warily, she answered the phone and whispered, “Hello?”

Harry’s deep, exhausted voice sounded through her phone, dramatically quoting another line from Princess Bride, saying, “Fezzik! Listen! Do you hear? That is the sound of ultimate suffering. My heart made that sound when Rugen slaughtered my father.”

She laughed, pacing the length of her room, her brief feeling of shock being replaced with curiosity. “What could possibly have gone wrong at…” she checked the clock and quickly converted the time difference on the east coast, “Almost 2 AM? Where’s Rory?”

Harry groaned, “We got into a fight.”

“Well...did you do something stupid?”

“I didn’t think it was a big deal at first, but it turned into one apparently.”

The more he spoke and the more she heard his voice, the more it started to hit her who she was talking to. She wasn’t a huge follower of his, but she was a fan enough to have heard him speak in videos and interviews that to be able to have these kinds of conversations with him and it be normal knowing that they were friends was hard to wrap her head around. Even so, hearing his voice over her phone wasn’t as startling as she thought it should be. In fact, it felt more calming than anything else.

“What happened?” she asked.

“Well, after the show, Rory came backstage and I was introducing her to some people and said, ‘This is my friend, Rory’....”

“....Okay?” Zoey urged, waiting for him to continue. But he didn’t.

“See?! It wasn’t a big deal! But she got upset that I called her my friend and was being sort of quiet and when I asked if she was okay she just kind of went off asking me how I could introduce her as a friend after we just had sex and after I flew out to see her twice, and accused me of leading her on and all this stuff.”

Zoey listened, continuing to pace the room as Harry ranted. When he finished, she cleared her throat and spoke carefully, “Well...Harry, she’s not entirely wrong.”

“You think I was leading her on?!” Harry sounded more hurt than offended. “I just introduced her as my friend and she got mad. I wasn’t lying. She’s not my girlfriend. What else was I supposed to say?”

“Exactly. She’s not your girlfriend. And who’s fault is that?”

“What do you mean?”

“Look, you know she likes you. And you obviously like her, too. I mean why else would you fly across the country to spend one day with a person…”

“I do it all the time,” he defended himself.

“Okay, Mr. Perfect. The point is, you two already act like a couple. You talk almost every day. You’re not seeing anyone else but each other - at least, as far as I’m aware. Don’t you think it’s possible that she’s been waiting for you to ask her out and make it official, and by you introducing her as a ‘friend’, you could have just invalidated her entire impression of your relationship and where it was headed?”

Harry sighed, and after a moment to process he breathed, “I didn’t mean to invalidate her feelings. And it’s not like I don’t want to date Rory. We talk all the time, yeah, but I still don’t know her that well and I didn’t ask her to not see anyone else. We haven’t even been on a date yet. Plus, I just don’t want to start a relationship in the middle of tour when I have two months left. I’ve been doing this enough to know that travel can really hurt a relationship. Most people can’t deal with the distance and time restraints. Maybe if she’s still interested by the time the tour is over, then we can maybe talk about making things official. I’m just not ready yet.”

“Trust me, I get it. But did you tell her that?”

“No.”

“Well you need to tell her something so she doesn’t feel like she’s wasting her time. Don’t just leave her hanging like that.”

“I can’t ask her to wait for me. That’s not right. I want her to do it because she wants to, not because I’m dangling the promise of a possibility over her head.”

Zoey pursed her lips, understanding what he was saying while rummaging through her dresser for pajamas to change into, “Just tell her that you’re sorry and you understand where she’s coming from, but that you don’t want to rush things, especially while you’re in the middle of touring, and if she’s okay with it, the two of you can just take things one day at a time and you just want to get to know her more for now. Just be honest with her, Harry. Give her the benefit of the doubt. She’s a very understanding person.”

“Yeah, you’re right. That sounds good,” Harry responded, the words clicking in his head.

A knock on the door startled her and Andy’s muffled voice echoed through the crack, “I got them to agree on ‘Incoherent’ first, so hurry the hell up!”

“Be right there!” Zoey called back.

A gasp was heard from her phone as Harry muttered, “Shit! I forgot you were doing game night tonight. I’m so sorry for interrupting.”

“It’s fine. It only just started. There’s not many of us.”

“Is Theo there?” Harry quipped, the nickname Harry gave Brett made her laugh. Ever since he mentioned that Brett looked like Theo James from Divergent, she wasn’t able to unsee it.

“Yeah, he’s here,” she giggled, quickly changing out of her work clothes and into some sweats, fixing her ponytail.

“What’s going on with you two anyway?” Harry asked, “Are you dating, or just flirting still?”

“Funny you should mention that. He asked me on a date earlier.”

“Really? You gonna go?”

“I don’t know. I really don’t want anything serious right now, but he says we can keep it casual.”

“So...friends with benefits?” Harry pressed.

“That’s why I’m not sure. I don’t know how I feel about it, especially with someone I work with. But it’s only one date. I guess I could see how it goes. He did say that we could go on a double date if I’d feel more comfortable and suggested you and Rory. But I know your schedule’s gotta be insane with the tour and you’ve already flown back enough times.”

“I wouldn’t mind. I’m actually off for three days next week. I had plans Tuesday morning, but I could probably fly out right afterwards and head back Thursday. So maybe Wednesday night we could all go out?”

“Really? You don’t have to if it’ll be too much for you.”

“No, I want to. I told you, I do it all the time. My team will hate me, but oh well. It’ll be fun. I should probably go fix things with Rory first, though.”

Zoey laughed, “Good idea. Good luck.”

They each said goodbye and Zoey threw her phone on the charger before making her way back out to the living room. She took her spot back next to Andy and she smiled, excited to start the game with her friends. She felt proud of herself as she took in the scene, seeing her small group of friends laughing and joking together. She felt like she was finally starting to build the life she always wanted for herself. She never had this many people who she genuinely cared for and that cared for her in return. Sure, she had Jess and Michael, but that was really it. Zoey was finally creating a little family away from her family and it felt good.

After a few more games, everyone was beginning to get tired so the group decided to settle down with a movie. Zoey had dozed off, her head resting on Andy’s lap with her body curled into a ball. When she stirred awake it was nearly 3 AM and she noticed everyone else had passed out. Brett was in the corner and Jake and Melissa were cuddling on the other end. Her mouth was dry and tasted of cotton. Carefully, trying not to wake Andy, she slipped off of the couch and tiptoed towards the kitchen to grab a glass of water.

The blue light on the fridge dispenser illuminated as a steady stream of water poured into her glass. It looked so clear and refreshing that her mouth started salivating at the thought of it when she heard a shuffle behind her. She jumped, turning to see Brett padding his way in, rubbing sleep from his eyes.

“Jesus!” she clutched her chest again. How was she so easily scared?

He ignored her shock. “Can I have one?”

Zoey passed him the glass she had just poured and grabbed another glass for herself, filling it up with water. Brett gulped it down and let out a breath of air when he finished it before she had even raised her cup to her lips. She raised an eyebrow, sipping at the water.

“Tonight was fun, huh?” he asked in a low voice, leaning against the counter.

Zoey nodded, putting her half drunk glass of water down, “Yeah, thanks for coming.”

“We should do game nights more often. Nancy and Rory can join next time, too.”

“They’d love that,” Zoey agreed, taking another sip of water.

After a moment of silence, Brett spoke up again, “So...have time to think about that date yet?”

The water went down the wrong pipe and she struggled trying not to make a scene of choking, holding it in. But her eyes water as she spoke, “Yeah, uhm,” she caved and cleared her throat, continuing, “Yeah, I actually talked to Harry. He’s the one that called earlier, and he said he was down to do a double date next Wednesday, if that’s okay.”

It was hard to look at Brett when he smirked like that. He must have pulled so many girls by that look. Actually, she KNEW he pulled so many girls by that look from the amount of numbers he got at the bar. And honestly, she didn’t mind. It’s not like she saw a future with him. But he was hot and she trusted Brett enough to have a little fun with him.

Jess’ words kept replaying in her mind, again. ‘It’s fun not having strings attached’ and ‘Have fun, but be safe.’ Zoey thought about those exact words every day since she last had sex with Brett and how right her friend was. It’s not that she needed to have sex, but the liberation she felt by just being able to have sex with who she wanted and when she wanted was something so incredibly exhilarating and indescribable. She knew that a commitment was never a requirement to have sex, and she was reminded of this often by Jess, but it took her best friend dying and her moving across the country to really understand that. And to see Nancy, her kind, fun, carefree roommate, doing what she wanted to do and not worrying about what others might think really broadened her outlook on sex and intimacy.

Brett’s mouth was moving, and she knew he was talking, but Zoey couldn’t hear a damn thing. All she could pay attention to was his dark, mysterious eyes and his juicy, plump lips and how badly she wanted to taste them. Fuck it, she thought, grabbing him by the shirt and standing on her tiptoes to smash her lips onto his. He flinched, shocked by her abruptness, but quickly pulled her closer to his solid chest. When she finally pushed away from him, her heart pounded and her lips were already damp from his. Zoey could feel her body tingling from her knees up to her eyes as she craved someone, anyone’s touch. Brett could be enough for now.  

“Let’s go,” she urged, looking up at him through her eyelashes. 

Still stunned and unable to find the words to say, Brett nodded, mouth still agap, as she led him towards her bedroom.

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