#or the day my mom texted me to say that she knew who he was
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how did you first get into Jeremy Jordan
good question—and one i very recently asked myself when the inevitable "how did i become this person" reflection happened 🫣.
i think there were many different factors (most of them not that good) that caused me to dive into obsessive mode so hard (and so quickly)—and it's definitely a "i see it now, but i couldn't back then" kind of situation. however, i'll spare you from those details XD.
the simple story is that, similar to you, i watched tangled the series and instantly fell in love with varian.
i love him
funnily enough, varian was the reason i started watching the show to begin with (coupled with the fact that i love tangled, and rapunzel, and eugene, and pascal, and max, and- 😆). i actually listened to the tts songs before watching the show 🫣 because my sister had gotten hooked on it years before. however, i only listened to the songs with mandy moore and zachary levi 🫣🫣 (cause i was like "who are these other random people, i want rapunzel and eugene"). then one day i listened to "through it all," in which varian has one line (plus an "eh" which i love now, but couldn't tell was him when i first listened XD)—and i was instantly just like: who's that.
have i listened to this one line on loop? you bet.
so i started watching the show—and loved varian from episode one—so naturally, i decide to look up the voice actor. it was jeremy....surprise. except...i didn't actually become obsessed right then. if anything, i was a little weirded out that this tiny boy was voiced by a 30-something year old man 😂 (but it's voice acting, so i was just like: wow, he did a great job 🤩...i'm going to go resume loving varian).
okay and then he sang. i knew he was good from his one line in "through it all", but wOW. adfasjkjaskfjd, on repeat forever and ever.
yes he was
that's not when i became (jeremy) obsessed either XD.
okay...and then a bunch of life stuff/circumstances kind of collided, and let's just say that i was feeling extremely lonely while also struggling with grief. i think there was about a two week period of this before i started actually bouncing back, and i had just reached the end of s1. now tts was doing a good job with bringing much needed happiness in my life, but...s2 had a very noticeable varian-shaped hole in it 😒.
that's when i turned to jeremy jordan youtube. it started off (the first hour) pretty mild—just some of his disney medleys, or the greatest showman video, or just the ones with millions of views—but it very quickly turned into a full out jeremy jordan youtube spiral™️ XD.
i must put this in your face again
i think in part, i latched on so quickly because jeremy and i are actually very similar people in general. i think at the point of extreme change that i was in at the time, it was just nice to "know" someone who was like me—and it definitely helped that there was easy access to extensive jj content. on a slightly different note, this is absolutely the reasoning behind the fact that if i had a chance to see jeremy live, i would choose one of his concerts over, say, gatsby—i am obsessed with jeremy jordan as jeremy jordan XD (hello akp).
literally me (i grew up in california by the way XD)
anyways, fast forward ~3 months, and i joined tumblr 😆...and we all know what happened after that. honestly, not a bad decision in my mind (at least so far), despite being very anti-social media my whole life. i've gotten to chat and obsessively geek out with so many great people, and i'm just so grateful for that 💕.
i've still only watched s1 of supergirl...and many youtube clips
#okay...woah i did not expect this post to get sooo long#i'm adding a read more line 🫣#help i blinked and there was an essay again#this is probably not what you were looking for#i'm just....passionate...?#and i left out...a lot of major plot points 💀#basically#jeremy jordan: the best coping mechanism#he is less of a coping mechanism now though...and more of just *a problem*#but the best problem#there is absolutely saga continuation potential here#that was like day number one#we didn't talk about how i came home to visit and sneak attacked my sister into watching newsies with me for the first time#or the blessed day i discovered the concert recordings#or the day my mom texted me to say that she knew who he was#but this certainly got too long so we shall halt here XD#just to be clear: jeremy and i are very different in many ways as well#i like to say that if you combine jeremy and laura osnes that's like 70% me#and then add a good dose of violet parr and you're like 90% there 💀#okay i'm done with my#tag ramble#again#jeremy jordan#a lot of him#alchemicalwerewolf#thanks for the ask!
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hi can you write rafe x wife. Happily married and have 3 teen kids. Sons friends comes over and talks about mom as milf( idk maybe something else up to u) and Rafe and his wife hear it! Then Rafe f*cks her
of course I can!!
•———•
ఌ𝐌𝐲 𝐖𝐨𝐦𝐚𝐧ఌ
Pairing: husband!rafe x wife!reader
Warnings: SMUT, language, p in v, fingering, no mentions of protection (be safe, wrap it before u tap it!), breeding kink, dirty talk, possessive/jealous Rafe.
Feel free to send more reqs! Thinking of doing dad!Rafe so send me things you’d like to see! Or more husband!rafe idm! Anything!
🝮🝮🝮
Just getting home from work, you got out of your Range Rover. Collecting your handbag, laptop and some papers from the back seat.
You headed into yours and Rafe’s estate. Walking through the front door. You already knew your three sons had friends over. Your eldest, Cody had asked you over text. You slip your heels off by the door and walk through the large foyer and over to the spacious living room. You smiled as you saw your boys Cody (17), Morgan (16) and Ollie (14 1/2). You spoke “hey boys, you all having fun?” They all said their “heys” and “yeah, thanks”.
You subtly noticed the way their friends eyed you up. Teenage boys never really cared if you saw them checking woman out. Well, these lot didn’t. You looked over to the attached large kitchen, smiling as you see Rafe.
You walked over, putting your things onto the counter. Rafe was leaning forward. His elbows on the counter as he watched the tv from the kitchen as your sons and their friends had soccer on. You walked over to Rafe. Smiling as you put your hand on his back. “Hey, love, you ok?” He turns his head to look at you. His famous grin plastered on his face. “Yeah, all good, how’s work?” He pulls you by the waist. Giving you a soft but firm kiss, showing you how much he missed you since you left this morning. You pull away to answer “good, made some great photos today, all I have to do is change the lighting and tone..” he smiled and pecked your lips “good, can I watch it while you do it?”
Rafe loved what you did. You were a photographer for models, perfume/jewellery commercials or fashion designers. You took the photos and edited them to put on magazines or advertisements. He loved how much you enjoyed your job to.
You nodded “of course, Rafey” he smiled “good girl..” you pecked his cheek.
You sat at the island counter, going through the photos on your laptop. As Rafe leaned against the counter, arms crossed, taking the occasional sip from his drink.
You both overheard Cody and his friend talk. His friend, Jack, asked “dude, is that your older sister or something?” Cody asked “who?” Jack replied “the one that’s in the kitchen with your dad.” Cody shook his head “nah man, that’s my mom.” Jack replied “no fucking way?? She’s so hot, dude, your mom is such a milf, no joke.”
Rafe practically chocked on his drink, as your eyes widen and press your hand to your forehead. A quiet gasp escaped your lips. What did Jack just say? You couldn’t be going mad, Rafe heard the same thing.
Cody spoke “shut up! Don’t say that!” Jack shrugged nonchalantly “dude, I’m just saying, I’d tap that if I could.”
Your eyes widen, Rafe’s jaw clenched. Rafe didn’t need to be and wasn’t jealous… not exactly… he just didn’t like the fact that a seventeen year old friend of your sons had just said that about you… his wife, the mother of his children, his childhood friend, his lover…
Through the rest of the day, Rafe stuck to your side. You’d changed into some sweats and a crop top. Once you were done you both sat on the couch; Rafe next to you. He had his arm around you the whole time. Occasionally kissing your cheek or temple. Showing the boys, your his. He’s the one that put that beautiful diamond ring on your finger. He’s the one that put three beautiful and handsome boys in you. He helped you create life. He’s the one that gives you happiness.
🝮🝮🝮
Soon after, the sun started to set. Your three sons had asked both Rafe and yourself if they could stay the night at one of the boys house. Rafe agreed and told them to be safe and have fun.
As soon as he had shut that front door. You were in for a real treat tonight. Rafe walked back over to the couch. He put his one knee on the seat and he placed a hand on the side of your neck. His cold metal of his rings and watch press gently into your warm neck. He crashes his lips into yours like a starved man. His tongue quick to be shoved into your mouth. You knew what he was up to. You could tell it from the exact moment Cody’s friend said what he said about you.
You knew Rafe since day one, knew him better than he knew himself. So you knew what he was doing. And you were definitely not complaining.
Rafe placed one hand one your thigh and guided you so you laid back on the couch. While he stayed on top of you. He groaned against your lips. He mumbled “‘m gonna make you feel so good, baby” you gasped softly when you feel Rafe’s hips press against yours. He puts his free hand from your thigh, moving it to the waistband of your sweats.
Putting his hand down your sweats he could feel the material of your panties and your soft, wet skin. He groaned “you wearing the black lace ones?” You nodded. He grinned “all f’me…mine” you mumbled “yes, Rafey…”
His fingers slowly move up and down against your heat. You moaned softly. You gasp when you felt his middle finger slip in. He tilted his head and started to kiss along your neck. He groaned, his finger slowly pulling in and out. As he inhaled the sent of your vanilla perfume, he groaned once again. He mumbled against your soft skin “feel so good on my finger, want another, babe?” You nodded. He replied “words. y/n.” You whispered “another, please, Rafe” he slipped his ring finger in. Causing you to gasp softly.
After a few more seconds he pulled his fingers out. You whimpered, he grinned “oh we aren’t done, just wanna take you upstairs… prefer the bed.” Your mouth practically waters as you watch him move his fingers to his mouth. Cleaning you off his digits.
He picks you up, over his shoulder. Taking you upstairs and not wasting anymore time.
Placing you down on the bed, he was quick to take your clothes off. All piece of clothing on the floor. While he starts to take his off, you watched in awe. Your reaction to him will always be the same. It’s like looking at him for the first time, over and over. You never got tired of him. Never have and never will.
You watched as he was swift to remove his boxers. His huge length springing free. He moved onto the bed. His lips go to yours as his hand moves to his length. Pumping it a few times, then lining up with your entrance. You gasp as he started to push in. Once he was all the way in he leaned over you. His chain dangles by your chin. His hands either side of your shoulders. His biceps flex as he looks down at you.
“You’re so pretty under me, sweetheart.” You moaned softly as he slowly started to move in and out. He chuckled lowly “you know, what the boys said… was right..” he groaned. “You are a milf… my milf… such a hot momma, baby… I know you want another… want me to give you one?” You moaned as he picked up the pace a little more. “Words, sweetheart.” You nodded “yes, fuck! Want another…”
He moaned hearing your words, “fuck Y/n, I’ll give you another… I’ll fill you up, make your baby bump come back. Love you baby bumps… every one of them…” you moaned. His one hand moves to your lower stomach, pushing on the bulge on your lower abdomen. Causing you to moan, as he goes deeper.
He picks up his pace, he moaned “fuck, gonna make you pregnant again. Wanna see you with my baby in you again.” He goes harder. “Fuck can feel you round me, that make you excited, baby? Thinking of me getting you pregnant again?”
You nodded, grabbing onto his bicep. Nails digging into his tan skin. He groans at the feeling. He spoke “gonna give ya a girl this time, I wanna girl, so I can spoil you both, yeah? Let you two have the world.” You moan “oh Rafey!” He grinned. “Yeah? Like that?” You nodded. He leaned back. Grabbing your hips, guiding you against him as he thrusts into you.
He can feel your close, “gonna come f’me? Let me have it, sweetheart. You do that f’me and I’ll do it for ya..” you placed your hand on his chest. Then holding his chain. Wanting him closer, he knew you well. He knew that meant you were about to finish. He leaned down. You moaned “fuck, gonna-” “do it, finish over my cock f’me, love…” those words hit you like a brick wall. Every. God. Damn. Time.
And he knew it too.
You moaned one last time, then finishing. Causing you to tighten around him. He chased his realise and finished inside you.
He moaned as he slowed his pace. Still thrusting, just slowing down. Chasing both of your climaxes. Once he came to a spot. You had you usual ‘thank you’. He kissed both cheeks, then your forehead, temples, chin, nose and then your lips. He mumbled against your lips “you ok? Feel good, baby? You did so good..” You nodded “so good.”
He gently pulled out, causing you both to inhale sharply. He gently picked you up. Going ahead and doing your aftercare. For all the time you both knew each other. And past Rafe, with his many hook ups. Not once did he do aftercare. But for you? His childhood friend to girlfriend to fiancée to wife to mother of his children?
He’d give you the world, he’d kill for you. Protect you. Die for you, live for you. He’d do anything for you. Even if it’s as simple as aftercare. He loves you. You love him.
🝮🝮🝮
#rafe#rafe cameron outer banks#rafe cameron#rafe x you#rafe fanfiction#rafe smut#rafe x reader#rafe imagine#rafe fic#rafe obx#rafe outer banks#outerbanks rafe#rafe cameron x y/n#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron x female reader#rafe cameron x kook!reader#rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x smut#rafe x fem!reader#rafe x y/n#husband!rafe#wife!reader#smut#outer banks#obx#outer banks x reader#obx x reader#obx fanfiction#outer banks fanfiction#dad!rafe au
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I came out to my dad as bisexual at 14 and I was PANICKED because I had a crush on a guy in my Boy Scout troop and thought I was Going To Hell Forever and he was so kind and understanding of my distress, but he had NO idea what bisexuality was. He just said “yeah but you like girls too? This is normal. Everyone is like this.” And I love my dad and trust him with my life to this day and the idea that the concept of bisexuality had not occurred to him had not occurred to me so I put it off.
By 16 though I had a crush on like THREE boys. Three entire boys in my Boy Scout troop. I felt like my sin was slowly advancing, until like an untreated cancer it had become metastatic. I remember bawling my L’il limp-wristed sissy eyes out in his big rumbly truck on the way home from a scout meeting and him telling me that it was OK, that he still loved me if I was gay, but that he knew I wasn’t gay because I still had crushes on women and that meant I was straight. I didn’t quite know how to explain that those felt *~*different*~* and that I felt like I was losing a fight to evil inside me but I again felt comforted by his reassurances and his genuine fatherly love.
At 18 I was like “hey I’m realizing all my friends are going on missions. I don’t wanna do that. Idk how to say that and I don’t have a ‘good enough’ reason to not wanna go.” So I just put it off. Again, my parents were extremely supportive of the information I gave them (I blamed it on perpetually forgetting to start the paperwork.) and one day my mom texted me that she had done the paperwork for me! And that all I needed was to get a physical! So I did that (it was awkward af tbh, my hernia check was done by a trainee doctor and she spent like 3 minutes fishing around my inguinal canals before her attending rescued me) and was sent to Mexico City where I learned that in addition to dipshit himbos with strong hands and scruffy guys with artistic hearts I was REALLY into chubby Latin men with strong personalities who bullied me a little when I lived in Mexico.
I remember my first companion got annoyed with me during an argument and said we were just gonna wrestle and whoever won the wrestling match won the argument (I stg I am dead serious this happened.) I was like…SWEATING when he tore off his tie and threw his white button-down shirt onto the ground (I won btw, don’t ask me how).
I remember one of my companions with this really intense, almost manic energy telling me that he was gonna make sure I was safe in a new area I didn’t know very well. He cooked breakfast for me and we’d go shopping together on P-Days and in the mornings before breakfast he’d jog around and do pull-ups with his shirt off and I’d do anything but look at him because my face would break out in a sweat so intense he’d think I was crying and come over to see if I was OK and somehow make it worse. He let me play D&D with myself in the evenings even though it was against mission rules because he knew how lonely and stressed I was.
I remember one of my companions was a big chubby man with a loud voice and a great sense of humor. He was kind and direct when addressing conflicts with me, and always bragged about how he knew the secrets of women’s minds and it felt like he really did since it almost always boiled down to “Treat Them Like People and Love Them a Lot. Don’t Stop Being A Person For Them. Also Eat Them Out Sloppy Style.” Our P-Day activities sometimes felt like dates, and it seemed like he was more attentive to my emotional state than I was since he was always the first to suggest we slow down our Divinely Mandated, God-Ordained, Super Sacred Work and Wonder to get a snack or check out a Pawn Shop (I love Pawn Shops).
I remember another companion who asked me to bully him every time he did something against his goal of losing weight. It was like he gave me Carte Blanche to take out my crush on him by being a nuisance and I LOVED that. I remember having a breakdown one day after we’d spent the afternoon frantically cleaning our disgusting-barely-habitable mission house to make it look less vile that it was (not our fault imo?) and I started bawling and he pulled me into a hug and he smelled good and he told me he knew it wasn’t just the house and that I was mad at him for being a Huge Dickhead for about a week (true) and that he would work on it. (He’s also a huge chaser but that’s a separate thing.)
I remember one of my companions waking up early (and our schedule is already built for sleep deprivation) to make me a “birthday cake” from knock-off Nutella and bread. He used matches for candles and woke me up, lit the ‘candles,’ pulled them out, then smashed it in my face and took a bunch of pictures while I was still madrugada and disoriented as fuck. He had the same sense of humor as one of my HS crushes and I could push his buttons pretty easily which was so fun.
I came home from my mission and started back at BYU where I became actively and aggressively suicidal. I had a stalker the year I moved up there and my dad’s solution to that was to get me a gun. I know he wouldn’t have bought me a gun if he could have read my mind, but I had a loaded pistol under my bed during a trifecta faith/sexuality/gender crisis and that was not helpful. I remember that the day I decided to kill myself I figured I’d call the BYU CAPS and see if I could get into therapy because it felt like what I was “supposed to do” so I could check my suicide boxes. My therapist was the guy who’d helped me pick a major the year before and was this drop-dead gorgeous Hawaiian man who cried when I told him how I’d been feeling.
A few weeks into therapy I met another stunning man with soft eyes and a scruffy illegal-at-BYU beard he kept pushing his luck with. He was funny, kind, patient, married, and wouldn’t give me the time of day if he knew I was crushing on him. We were in my history of psych class, which was inarguably the worst psych class I have ever had, and we studied together for every assignment and test and I realized that my feelings for him and for all the men I’d already mentioned were in direct conflict with my faith and relationship with God. My already agonizing spiritual conflict became even more wretched and as a result of this plus some other tightly-packed experiences with Mormonisms bullshit, I left the church.
After leaving the church I decided to move back to AZ and transfer to ASU. My mom helped me get a dog since I think it had started to dawn on my family that my mental health was barely getting me through the day, and she knew that we both loved dogs. Madi made my last year at BYU livable while I got my shit together and transferred. In that last year, I went on a date with quite possibly the only semi-openly-out trans person on BYU campus. It was not a great date imo, I was not doing well, but the person I spoke with was fun and fascinating and talked to me about Gender Dysphoria and it really cemented my need to go. To leave and never come back to that fucking school.
I started at ASU a month after my last semester at BYU and within a very short time frame it felt like I was coming back together, like a puzzle magically putting itself together in an environment that wasn’t slowly draining that puzzle’s will to live.
On the 4th of July, the year I started at ASU, I saw a transition timeline photo of a gorgeous happy beautiful happy radiant happy woman and her former Mormon missionary self and I realized the light that was on in her eyes was the light that was off in mine. I looked into transitioning for 3 days, sleeping about 10 hours total during that time. I started talking to other trans people on Reddit (one of whom is now my beautiful fiancée @cintailed) and after about a month of making preparations to be disowned and kicked out, something I was not sure would happen but was ready to go through to Turn On The Lights, I came out to my family and it was amazing. I started HRT a month after that. I secretly dated some dorky guys for about a year while I applied to grad schools. I got into a great grad school for me and my needs. I got FFS. I did my trainings and classes. Me and my fiancée moved in together after some LDR shenanigans. We’ve lived together now for 4 years of basically marital bliss. We have a cat named Grandmother Esmeralda Weatherwax who bites the hell out of my feet about three times a day. My bi-cycle continues to be part of my life but now it’s not as scary. Baby gays in my life have started to look to me for advice. Idk how this all happened so fast. When the years, months, weeks, days, and hours seems to crawl by so slowly now they are rushing past me so fast it’s almost bewildering. Whereas before I felt like I was living on borrowed time, past my ‘expiration date,’ now it feels like I can Fucking Breathe. I’m training myself to slow down now and it feels worth it to Live In The Moment.
Idk why I wrote this. Idk why these thoughts only seem to come up on Sundays when I’m supposed to be writing my dissertation. Idk why I’m crying rn or why I feel so happy. I’m gonna post this shit then get on with my dissertation I guess. Read more Terry Pratchett and give yourselves the time you need. Get a pet. Talk to someone. Re-examine the events that brought you here. Be gayer. Love y’all 💕
#tgirl swag#worm#mormon#lds church#church of jesus christ of latter day saints#boy scouts#Mormon mission#Mormon missionary#elder#the book of mormon#bisexual#transgender#trans stuff#trans pride#lgbt pride#bi pride#mental health#BYU#pets#my cat#cat#dumb cat#granny weatherwax#terry pratchett
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ten years in the making
paring: bakugou katsuki x fem reader
warnings: smut, non-con/dub-con, no-quirks au, high school love confession, unrequited love turned very requited, almost non-con threesome, feels like cheating (but technically not), no cheating though, fuck boi bakugou, pining reader, obsessive/possessive bakugou, running away, biting, marking, creampie, breeding kink, angst, toxic relationship
word count: 6.2k
You still had the love letter you handed to him when you were both in high school. His spiky blonde hair was pretty under the spring sun, red eyes examining the envelope in your hands with a disgusted look on his face.
On the rooftop of the school building, the wind blew extra hard. The chill of winter that lingered in the breeze made your face cold, but it was the rejection from Katsuki that numbed your whole body.
“Take that shit away,” he sneered. “Be lame somewhere else. I don’t like you.”
It was pathetic how you fixated on him because he helped you once from a petty thief who tried to steal your wallet. You shouldn’t have liked him that much, not when he was so clear in his stance on how he felt about you. But you were also just a girl, and girls had crushes on Bakugou Katsuki—you were just one of many, but no doubt the most pathetic one.
Cause while others grew out of their crushes eventually, you did not. And Katsuki, being the spawn of the devil that he was, started to see you as some sort of entertainment.
You followed him through university, enrolling in the same one. You begged your mom to stay at a dorm near campus, the same dorm Katsuki told you he would stay in. He lied. You knew on the moving day because he texted you photos of his new place from the front of the building to the room with an obviously different layout.
The text said, ‘lol you really thought u got me huh?’
That sentence needed commas, and you… needed to get a grip. Yet, you did not.
Still trying to be close to him, you went to every party he went to, even if it meant you had to see him with a different woman each time. He never stuck with one, telling you he was easily bored and that was why you and him would never happen. Because you were a soppy, hopeless romantic who would wait for him like a dog waiting for its owner to come home—his words.
“When will it get through your thick skull, dog?” Katsuki rapped on your forehead with his knuckles. “You’re not my type.”
Well, his type exited the room just now, leaving only you and a very naked Katsuki in it. He loomed over you menacingly close, trying once again to talk some sense into you, albeit in a very mean fashion. Tonight, he was particularly cruel. After texting you to buy him a box of condoms—stating a specific brand, flavor, and size—he made you sit and watch until the very end.
You pretended to pay attention, but what you really looked at was the wall behind the scene playing in front of you.
“I’ll pick you up tomorrow at ten.” You changed the subject, ignoring his hot breath that fanned over your face.
“Yeah, mom misses you like hell,” he jeered. “How did you do it, inserting yourself into my family?”
It was simple, actually, just offering to drive him home for a monthly family visit with a gift for his mom and dad every time, without fail, even though he got his own car. His mom, Mitsuki, never trusted his driving skills anyway, saying he was too reckless. So she was grateful for you, to the point of inviting you over for dinner as thanks whenever you dropped her son home, and you accepted the kindness.
Katsuki would roll his eyes, but he let it all happen, cause why would he say no to a personal chauffeur? All he had to do was sit prettily and blast his one-hour playlist until the car was parked in front of his childhood abode. And after eating and helping with the dishes, you would be gone, back to your own family house a couple of streets away—convenient.
You knew you were just a tool to Katsuki, his lackey, but you were also as stubborn as a mule.
And as dumb as a clown…
After many years hounding for Katsuki’s attention, you finally got it when you were both twenty five. The first time he kissed you, he was drunk in your apartment. He was frustrated with a colleague who screwed up an important meeting with a potential client and decided to come rant your ears off with two packs of beer—one for him, one for you.
You never thought the night would end up with him pinning you to the floor, his mouth devouring yours and his hands popping the buttons of your work shirt until your bra-clad tits showed.
“Thought you would follow me anywhere,” said Katsuki, red eyes locked onto you from where he was, face nestled between the soft mounds of your breasts. “But you chose a different company, live far away from me, texting seven times in seven months. Traitor.”
“You’re heavy.” Your words struggled to come out. From when he used to be lanky and the same height as you, he was none of that now. The growth spurt hit him like a freight train. In the blink of an eye, he grew into a giant of a man, tall and filled with muscles, even more so now that he was in his salaryman era. You wondered how he still found time to work out as often as he did when you barely caught any sleep.
After graduation, you both landed jobs in different companies. And if you were being honest with yourself, you would say the reason you accepted the offer was partly because running after Katsuki and answering his every beck and call started to… tire you. Forced by duty and responsibility, it helped you distance yourself away from him. Cause Lord, you doubted you could have done it on your own.
Getting his text today saying he would come visit, you were dumbfounded, even thinking it was a joke til you got another text an hour later saying he arrived.
You shouldn’t have let him in, shouldn’t have reconnected. You were almost off the noose before he came and adjusted the knot, tightening it. After that night, he came visit once a week on Friday. Kisses slowly evolved into soft touches, then heavy petting, and finally—sex.
Fucking your brain out, that was what he did most of the times, leaving your ass red and face wet from crying. On rare occasions, it was slow, deep, like he wanted to mold you into the shape of his cock. But all was intense, asking for eye contact and name-saying, and it was Katsuki who did the asking, which surprised you to no end.
“You wanna come home? Mom and dad miss you,” mumbled Katsuki one autumn night. It had been three months since that first drunken kiss. “They got a new dog. But old people are always lonely, hell knows why.”
With that, not only him, but the monthly visit returned, too.
Their dog was a loudmouthed chihuahua named Katsumi. It barked at you non-stop from the moment you got out of the car, louder when Mitsuki raced out the front door to hug you. After dinner, it found you and Katsuki in the laundry room with its master’s teeth nibbling down your neck and barked snappily, making Katsuki jump.
When you let out a roar of laughter, his eyes widened with a look of what seemed like wonder. His pupils dilated when he leaned down to take your lips in a fierce kiss. For a moment, everything was perfect.
Had you mentioned being dumb?
A month later, there was a knock on your door. Katsuki hips slowed down mid-pounding before he stepped back from you and the bed, leaving you empty.
“Keep your ass up. Don’t fucking move.”
You only let out a soft hum as a response, not understanding why or who would be here at this hour. Were you too loud? Maybe someone was here to complain. You pondered, face still down against the soft mattress with your rear up as instructed. Katsuki would handle them, whoever they were.
“Well, I see why you never call anymore, Katsuki-kun.”
The voice was close, too close—its owner was in the bedroom with you. When the realization hit, you bolted, shooting out of your position and scooting back, all the while pulling the duvet up to shield your nakedness from the newcomer’s eyes.
She was a woman about your age and height, standing at the foot of the bed in a skimpy dress.
“Do me a favor. Shut the fuck up,” said Katsuki, confirming they really did know each other.
It was like your brain stopped functioning. You saw Katsuki walking towards you but was too slow to think what your next move should be. So you let him pull you to him by the duvet because you wouldn’t let go of it. When he sat you on his lap, you felt something wet gliding down your cheeks.
“Hush now, princess.” He wiped the dripping drops with both of his thumbs. “You seriously thought our relationship was exclusive? You thought you fixed me?”
Another set of fat tears cascaded down when he kissed you, seasoning the kiss salty.
“Seven months, seven texts, no calls,” he said. “Who do you think you fucking are, leaving me like that?”
You knew, you knew it was too good to be true. And when he turned to the other side to kiss the woman who was now naked and sitting on the bed—your bed–beside him, you also knew it was time to let go. The silly crush, the well-kept love letter, the admiration that you should have weaned off long ago—they all needed to go.
Getting up from his lap while he was distracted, you gathered your clothes off the floor and left the bedroom without turning back. You got dressed in the living room and closed the front door silently when you left the apartment. You didn’t want him to hear, not wanting to cause a scene, not wanting to see him anymore.
You were sitting in the car in the apartment parking lot, trying to find a hotel to crash at when you got a text from Katsuki.
‘you thought you got me huh?’
You blocked him.
There was only a month left on your apartment’s lease; you would give a notice to your landlord tomorrow that you would move. Everything would be alright, you told yourself. Katsuki might never bother you anymore since he had got what he wanted—your absolute humiliation.
It was different from that one time he told you to stay and watch him rail the life out of that girl when you were in college. At that time, you knew you were nothing to him, knew he did that to hurt you. This time, you thought you were something to him. And it hurt, a thousand times worse to realize that you weren’t, and that he still wanted to hurt you.
—
Shit, shit, shit, shit. Fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck, fuck.
Those were the only words spinning around in his head since you were gone, really gone. You walked out of that door so fucking demurely. Even when he stopped kissing his ex-booty call to listen, he didn’t hear you wail or see you come crawling back.
So he texted, leaving the girl he called here to demean you to quickly type on his phone. When the message was marked ‘read’ but got no response, he cursed, “Fuck!”
“Come on, Katsuki-kun. Let’s have some fun,” the girl whined.
“Sh!” He shushed her, still tapping the screen.
She probably looked at him like he was possessed by an evil spirit, but he couldn’t care less.
‘Who did you think you were? My gf? Lol.’
He was so in a hurry he forgot to type in lowercase.
‘Lovesick foll’
‘*fool’
‘Where u going’
‘Dont wanna watch’
‘?’
You didn’t read at all except for the first text. That made him get off the bed and get dressed, running out of the apartment to punch the elevator down to the first floor. When he exited the building, your sedan was already on the street; he saw the taillights, remembered the plate. It got farther in each second that passed, and there was not a darn thing he could do about it.
Fuck, shit, fuck, shit, fuck shit, fucking fuck.
For some reason he knew, this time, you were gone for good. Not an absence the next day at school after he told you he lost his virginity to some girl in another class, not the seven months with a few texts to check in with him. This time, it was for good.
Like hell he was gonna let that happen.
—
You ended up staying at the hotel for a week, scared Katsuki might still be lurking around. While you knew he got his biggest fill of breaking you this time, you wanted to be sure. Then, as soon as you found a new place, you moved out.
At work, you asked your boss, Aizawa, for a transfer to another branch, telling him it was for personal reasons. You swore you saw him squint his weary eyes, but after asking you a couple more questions, he agreed nonetheless.
“If it were stress, it’d be no different in another branch. Hope you know that,” Aizawa drawled.
“I do, sir,” you replied, tired from the poor quality of sleep your situation and the hotel bed gave you.
“And as soon as possible, you say?”
“Yes, sir,” you affirmed. “Please.”
The transfer was done in one week, all thanks to your boss.
Restarting your mundane life, it took two months for you to regain some sort of peace found in everyday’s routine—waking up, going to work, coming home, sleeping, waking up again. There was no contact from Katsuki, only the ghost of his taunts that came hand in hand with the memories of his caresses you could not dispel remained, making guilt creep up your spine every time you touched yourself to climax imagining it was his hand.
You would find someone else. You and Katsuki, it was ten years in the making. You were fifteen years old on that rooftop, confessing to a boy you thought was the most beautiful person in the world, having no clue how your action would play out. It would not be possible to banish those ten years in two months, no matter how despicable he was to you. And that was a shame.
It took one phone call from Mitsuki to disrupt your normalcy.
“I just wanted to know how you were doing, honey.” said Katsuki’s mom, sounding worried. “It’s just—you’re gone again, like those months. And Katsuki won’t tell me what’s going on, which means something must have happened. I need to—I—”
She was trying to find words, and you didn’t want to interrupt.
“I need to know you’re okay.” She finally let it out. “Just come visit, honey. You don’t have to bring my son.”
“We miss you.”
It was those words that brought you to the Bakugou house the following weekend.
“Oh, honey.” Misuki stopped before you, eyeing you from head to toe. Katsumi barked incessantly, all the while trying to sniff the bag of fresh-baked cookies you bought for the family. When the woman beckoned you to come close and enfolded you in her arms, you teared up a bit.
“That airhead of a son,” the older woman grumbled.
Getting in the house thwarted all the cold delightfully. You put your coat on the couch next to where you sat, waiting for the tea Mitsuki said she was going to get. You always liked the Bakugou house, asking Katsuki to walk him home every day just to see it from the outside. He never let you in. Ironically enough, it was never him who invited you in, it was his mom.
Where was Mitsuki now? You looked around for the matriarch, but instead, you saw Katsuki.
“About time you showed up.”
There was so much fighting, so much push and pull, and trying to run away, and crying for help; yet, no one came. Katsuki had to carry you on his shoulder to go upstairs because you resisted profusely and refused to walk on your own.
Door closed, lock clicked. A second later, you were dropped on his bed unceremoniously. You had never been in his room before and didn’t want to now. But since there was no choice, you took the opportunity to look around, taking everything in.
His room was so… boy. A drum set in one corner, an expensive-looking gaming PC in another with a shelf filled with mangas and action figures next to it, posters of his favorite anime character plastering all over the walls.
You remembered he liked All Might, the blonde-haired hero from a shonen manga you didn’t read but knew every detail from Katsuki’s ceaseless babble. You even broke into your savings buying a dozen raffle tickets till you won the big prize—a large figure he said he was saving up for—and gave it to him as a birthday present.
He probably didn’t keep it.
“Don’t be mad at mom, okay? I was on my knees begging her for help. That was on me,” Katsuki spoke softly, as if he was trying not to spook you. “Old hag hit me so hard dad had to intervene. But I’m her son. You understand, right? She would never abandon me.”
It was him between you and the door; you just needed to get past him, unlock the door and run. Slowly, you got out of the bed to stand on your own feet. The moment they touched the floor, however, was brief. Because Katsuki leaped from where he stood, taking him only two strides before he got you again.
Back on the bed, you fought him tooth and nail, punching, kicking, biting, while he tried to sedate you with a soothing voice. But there was nothing soothing or gentle about this man—a monster. You saw through him.
His grip on your wrists was immovable, anchoring you to the bed with one hand. He caged your body with his, examining you like a predator sizing up its prey, his presence all domineering, demanding obedience.
“Shhh, settle down. I’m not gonna hurt you,” he coaxed.
“Let me go!”
All you could move now was your legs, which you did to your best ability, but to no avail. Katsuki waited it out, allowing you to try however you want to get away without saying anything. Eventually, you stilled, so exhausted you couldn't move anymore.
“There, there. That’s my good princess,” he murmured, his usual harsh features softening.
Frustration brought tears to your eyes. It took less than you thought, easier than expected, to suck it all up and spill everything that occupied your mind.
“What do you want? What do you want from me, Katsuki? I'm sorry I confessed to you that day. It was pathetic. I was pathetic. But please—please.” Your voice got hoarse and lost at the second please. You had to cough to get it back. “I have learned my lesson. You and me, it will never happen—will never work out. I know that now. I get it, believe me, I do,” you choked through your tears, pleading. “I won't like you anymore, Katsuki, so please—let me go.”
“Like me?” he reiterated. “I thought you loved me.”
“What?”
He sighed, his free hand searching for something in one of his sweatpants’ pockets. When he pulled his hand out, you saw a letter—the one you gave it to him and got rejected. All these years, it had been kept with you, safely in your trinket box. Now, it was in his hand, opened. He finally accepted it, but at what cost?
“I need you to read it to me,” he commanded, “out loud.”
“Please, don’t make me do this.”
“Listen,” he said. “I’m going to let go of your wrists and give you this letter that you wrote for me, and you’re going to read it—word—for—word.” He used the envelope to brush down the bridge of your nose. “If you tear it up—if you do, princess—I’m going to make you rewrite it. And it better be as good, if not better, than this one.”
He let go of your wrists and gave you the letter.
“Oh, and if you run,” he added. “I’ll catch you, and we start over. Clear?”
You nodded and took the envelope, hands shaking noticeably when you took the letter out. Everything was under Katsuki’s observation. He sat astride your thighs without putting all his weight on you, waiting patiently.
“To Katsuki, if you are reading this, that means you accepted my letter, thank you!” You wiped tears out of your eyes to see better. “I know you get a lot of letters like this. It must be a bit of a hassle reading love confessions everyday, right? But please bear with me, I will try to keep this—”
Interrupted, you looked past the letter and saw Katsuki lifting the hem of your sweater up and leaning down to place a kiss on your exposed stomach.
“Go on,” he prompted. “Don’t mind me. Don’t stop.”
“I will try to keep this short,” you continued, completing the last sentence, trying to ignore the fact that your jeans were being unbuttoned and pulled down. “You know, girls in our class often say they love your hair, your eyes, but a lot of them are scared of your personality.” You felt his breath through your panties, hot. “I disagree. I think you are nice, brave, and kind. And don’t get me wrong, I love your hair and eyes too.”
“You’re cute, baby,” said Katsuki as he pried your legs open. Without taking off the underwear, he licked your pussy through it.
“Katsuki!”
Dragging his tongue up, he mumbled, “Keep reading.”
“And I love you.” You read on and saw his eyes roll back at that specific sentence.
Suddenly, he switched from licking to sucking, making the crotch all wet with his saliva. You were preparing to read the next part when he made it all the more difficult by moving aside the damp fabric and rubbing his face into your naked cunt. His nose, lips, chin, all soaked in your embarrassing glossy juice. You cursed yourself for giving in, for getting wet.
“Did I tell you to stop?”
You let out a sob, raising the letter in your hands up again to read.
“I know we don’t know each other well, and this feeling is not reciprocated—”
Why did he have to slurp the juice like that? He made it hard, so hard for you.
“I’m—just a classmate after—all. But what I said, I said it with—a sincere—heart. So even if—you don’t love me back, please—let me keep—this feeling, I promise I—will treasure it.”
Panting sharply, you stopped before the next paragraph when you felt his tongue massaging your clit. Grasping his hair with both of your hands, you forgot you still held the letter. There was an audible scrunch when it was crumpled up in one of your fists.
Katsuki stopped dead in his tracks, glaring up from below; his red orbs seemed redder all of a sudden. “Did you just crumple the letter?”
You pulled your hands back quickly when you realized, strengthening out the paper as best as you could. The creases weren’t that bad. You showed it to him, ensuring that it was still intact.
He relaxed. You released a held breath.
Back to concentrating on the handwritten texts, this time, you vowed to not look at him anymore and would just just read through everything as fast as you could—getting it done. Nevertheless, when he was back on eating your pussy and pride out, it did not get easier, Katsuki still managed to make you writhe like your life depended on it.
“One more thing, I don’t know if you remember, but thank you for—saving me that day in front of the mini mart.” You tried to recall the event, the beginning of everything. “The thief would have—hurt me, and I would have lost—my wallet.”
And it was just that, just you trying to yank your wallet back from the thief's hands, the popsicle you just bought lying on the ground, melting. The store staff was on the phone with the police—you heard it—but they didn’t come out. Katsuki did.
When the thief was about to lay his hand on you, the blonde haired boy whom you recognized as your classmate kicked him in the shin. Moving fast, Katsuki then slammed his school backpack on the thief’s head, once, twice, thrice, on and on until he knocked him out.
“You were my hero.” You read the last sentence, finishing the letter as he finished you.
You set the paper down on your side, finally freed from the evidence of your teenage self’s stupidity. Feeling weightless from the orgasm, all you could do was stare at the ceiling. After what felt like forever, Katsuki appeared in your field of vision, hovering over you, now shirtless… and pantless. You weren’t aware when he took them off, too lost in your own world.
“You can't just stop loving me,” he said before bending down to kiss your cheek, then whispered, “Take responsibility. Be true to your words, dumbass.”
“Katsuki, you’re being selfish.” You turned your face away, fleeing him.
His red eyes sharpened. “After all this time you have showered me with love and attention, and you want to—take it away?”
“There will be others who love you and give you all the attention you need,” you argued. “I’m not that person.”
“No! Fucking no! Shut up!” he barked, turning your face back to him and silencing you with a kiss.
Even with the heater warming up the room, the cold air that seeped through the walls and windows still reached your naked form. After being rid of your sweater, bra, and drenched panties, the only warmth you could find was from Katsuki’s body. And he made sure to share it with you so generously.
Pain after pain, bite after bite. Katsuki would not stop no matter how desperately you begged him to. Your skin was his canvas, not only your neck, but your cheeks, breasts, belly, arms, thighs, calves; they were tender and hurt to touch. You would have to refrain yourself from looking into the mirror for too long, maybe. Luckily it was winter, this way, nobody would bat an eye if you covered yourself up like it was minus twenty celsius.
“I’m gonna fuck you raw, okay? Haven’t fucked anyone since you left. You gotta take care of me, princess.”
“Don’t bullshit me,” you returned. “You fucked that girl.”
And it still hurt just thinking about it.
“Did not.”
Even so, had he gone mad? He sounded like it. Wearing condoms was the strictest rule of his when it came to sex. As far as you knew, he never broke it once, not for anyone, not for you. But you could be wrong—you didn’t want to—because now, he actually looked eager to go through with it, fucking you bareback.
Too risky, too intimate.
“You’ll regret it. Please just—think before you act.”
Trying to reason with Katsuki, you also attempted to move away. Big mistake. Catching you by your thighs, he forced himself closer and wrapped your legs around his waist. Then, he placed his unshielded cock on your folds and pushed it down a bit for the head to slither in, just the tip, nothing more.
“Katsuki, no!”
“Katsuki, yes,” he said, mockingly, and shoved it all in.
—
The bed shook and squeaked annoyingly from how hard he rammed into your tight weeping hole, but the moans you were trying, but not so successfully, to suppress were so adorable he was able to overlook it and focus on you instead. He never knew his bed did this, never brought anyone home to fuck before.
He almost spilled in the first five minutes, having to slow down to prolong the feeling of being wrapped and rubbed by a pussy, skin to skin. And you—lying there with your brows frowned and tits bouncing—did not help shit. Trying feebly to push him away when he swooped down for a kiss only stirred up his excitement, making him go rougher until you gasped and gave in.
What a soft and tempting little lamb you were. He wanted to brand you with his cum and give you his fucking name, knocking you up with a couple of brats for you and him to take to school and hear a teacher address you as Mrs. Bakugou with his own ears.
Since the day you handed him that letter, you had never been anyone else’s but his. Must have been fate, he didn’t know, didn’t care about a what-if either. His only regret was that he could have had a taste of you sooner, but he would call it a story arc and leave it at that—he had you now anyway.
“Say my name, princess,” he demanded.
“Kat—suki.”
“Again.”
“Katsuki!”
This was worth it. The tirade of rebuke his mom delivered to his ears and the smacks on the head while saying she never taught him to be like this when he came clean about what he did to you—all was worth it.
“I’ll get her back, mom,” Katsuki convinced. “We’ll get her back.”
“You better.”
It was convenient that his mom already liked you as if you were the one who popped out of her vagina and not him. Well, they were the same in that aspect. Who would have thought it would come to this day, the day he wanted to trap you in his home, when just a decade earlier, he would never have had the slightest idea of granting you the permission to step past the front gate.
“She’s a good kid,” his mom commented. “The same girl who walked you home and bought you that All Might figure, no?”
“Yeah.” Katsuki rolled his eyes.
“Aha.”
“Will you help me or not?” he asked, irritated. He had been kneeling at her feet for like fifteen minutes.
“Watch your tone, boy.” Mitsuki’s voice hardened. His dad’s hand over her shoulder rubbed gently to calm her quick temper down.
“Tch!”
The tiny mutt chose that moment to strut into the living room, stealing his mom’s attention. She leaned down to pick it up and put it on her lap. It looked down at him, tongue lolling out of its mouth. Conceited little fucker.
“You know why I named her Katsumi, Katsuki?”
“Oh, don’t give me that shit.”
“Katsuki,” his dad said in a reprimanding tone.
“She reminds me of you, angry for no reason, always bark, bark, bark. It gets lonely around here, so why not.” Mitsuki smiled, scratching her new child’s head. “And you—remind me of her.”
Katsuki squinted his eyes, kinda knew where this was going.
“A dog, waiting for its owner to come home.”
She was not wrong.
“Yes, I will help you, son.”
A series of bangs on the door broke through the memory and his euphoria. He just came, hard, pouring his pent-up, ripe seeds far up your cunt, and someone wanted to butt in now? Katsuki huffed, but refused to get up and find out who wanted what, dead set on keeping you plugged up.
Another rapping on the door, then a voice followed. “That’s enough, Katsuki. Let the poor thing out.”
Of course, it had to be his mom.
“Go away, hag.”
“Bakugou Katsuki!”
“We’ll be out!”
Just not now. He omitted, and it worked. Mitsuki carried a string of grumbles and footsteps with her, leaving nothing behind. Katsuki turned to you, still under him, in time to see you avert your gaze away. Cute.
“Can I go now?” you asked.
“No.” He changed positions, turning over onto his back and getting you on top of him, cock still snug inside your walls. He hoped he didn’t spill a single drop.
“Katsuki, I don’t want to fight anymore.”
“Then don’t, baby.”
“I can’t live like this. Please”—you pleaded with your eyes—“don't hurt me anymore.”
He couldn’t help but feel a pang in his heart at your frail tone. Looking at you, he saw a woman with dark rings under her eyes, beautiful, but she looked like she had seen better days—a stark contrast to the girl who held out a letter towards him on that spring day, wind in her hair, kindness abundant enough to share.
Before he knew it, words were out of his mouth. “I wish I had hurt you less.”
It would not have been possible for him to not hurt you at all. He knew himself well enough to believe otherwise. He also knew, for certain, how he would like the story to go.
“Do you still love me? Like you wrote in that letter.” he whispered. “Am I still your hero, princess?”
“You don’t”—you gritted your teeth—“have the right to ask me those questions.”
“I’ll be yours. I want to.” And fuck, he really did, just thinking about it woke his flaccid cock up, rigid again inside of you. Putting his hands on both of your asscheeks, he grinded you up and down. “Do you still love me?”
You kept quiet, unyielding, only small, faint gasps could be heard.
“Guess that’s not important.” Katsuki decided. “I’ll keep you first—fuck the answer out of you later.”
Panic flashed upon your expression at his declaration, and gasps turned into lustful whimpers when he started slamming your hips up and down his erect shaft.
“How long are you gonna make me wait? A year? A decade? As revenge, maybe?” He took your sweet mouth, hand pressing down the nape of your neck to keep it still. “House will be full of brats by then, but take your time, princess.”
“This will never work out. It won’t. It won’t,” you cried, shutting your eyes tight. “I can’t share you.”
Katsuki didn’t know why, but you not wanting to share him was sexy as shit. The mere thought of sharing you, however, made him want to put something on fire. Was this jealousy people were talking about? It burnt like a bitch.
“Who said anything about sharing?” he grunted, slapping your jouncing ass, making you squeal. “And this goes both ways, princess. Don’t think I would let anyone touch you.”
He was pissed just imagining it, which was nowhere near healthy, but who wanted that. He just wanted you, in any way he possibly could.
“I’m—I’m gonna come,” you spluttered, convulsing around him.
“That’s it. Come on my cock, baby. Make your man proud.”
Your velvety walls tightened, constricting his cock and milking it when ropes of cum shot out.
Sucked dry and spent, Katsuki closed his eyes and tried to rein in his breath. When he reopened them, it was to check if you were still with him—you were, resting on his chest with one cheek against it. Out of cuteness aggression, he pinched the other side.
You let out a short screech. “That hurt!”
The thought of marking you reared its head, biting where it hadn’t been bitten yet, hurting you a little more. But he stifled it, saving it for later.
Steering himself to another matter, he said, “You never texted me back.”
“I blocked you.”
“Figured.” Katsuki nodded.
“Deserved.”
“Unblock me.”
You sighed.
—
The messages wouldn’t go through even if you unblocked him. That was how the application worked, which was fine with him. Scrolling through the one-sided chat, he could sense urgency and desperation through each letter, and some messages actually sounded mental. It would be for the best if you didn’t see them.
‘Answer’
‘i didn’t fuck her, she left. Now fucking answer’
‘come back, i wont be mad. where u at.’
‘I am still at your apartment, u. didn’t come back. where r u’
‘i fucking found your letter. i’ll find u too’
��You—kept my present?”
Katsuki looked up from his phone to your towel-swathed form, fresh out of the shower. Following your line of sight, he was directed to the bottom of the bookshelf where an All Might figure was set—his seventeenth birthday present from you. It was one of his top favorites, but he would never tell you that.
“I’m not stupid enough to throw things I like away, I’ll have you know.” He scowled and went back to scrolling on his phone.
‘so u moved away huh?’
‘need you. don’t wanna fuck my hand anymore :(’
‘never mind, bitch’
‘u love me huh?’
‘Pathetic’
‘didnt mean that’
‘need u’
‘i'm an attention seeking whore who abuses your love to get the validation i want.’
‘sorry’
‘there i said it.’
‘now come back’
Yeah, you didn’t have to know any of that.
#bakugou x reader#bakugou x you#bakugou katuski x reader#bakugou katsuki x you#katsuki bakugo x reader#katsuki x you#katsuki x reader#mha x reader#mha smut#bnha smut#bnha x reader#bnha bakugou#tw.breeding
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𝘀𝘂𝗯𝘁𝗲𝘅𝘁・l.f.
— in which you forget that your hot housemate follows you on twitter.
𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗱𝘀・1.1k 𝗽𝗮𝗶𝗿𝗶𝗻𝗴・roommate!felix x gn!streamer!reader 𝗴𝗲𝗻𝗿𝗲𝘀・fluff, flirting, kind of an smau, implied friends to lovers, humor if u count jeongin being a piece of shit
𝗮/𝗻・saw this tweet the other day and it was so painfully lix coded that i knew i had to write something asap. contains a tiny bit of gaming jargon but is hopefully comprehensible. ENJOY ♡
y/n ꒰ᐢ. .ᐢ꒱₊˚⊹ @ y/nxx
if someone brings you fresh cut fruit to your table when you're gaming, they either like LIKE you or it's your mom
11:23 A.M.・Oct. 2023・220.2K Views
bokkie 🐣 liked your post.
“My tweet?”
You read aloud the newest text in your chatroom, and your face brightens when you remember the one in question.
“Oh, about the fruit—no, it’s so true though. And I love my mom, don't get me wrong, but I have an inkling she did it to guilt trip me." You change your posture and adopt your best motherly tone of voice. "‘This is your tenth consecutive hour wasting your young adulthood in front of that damn screen. I am now going to hand deliver apple slices straight to your mouth.’ That kind of vibe, y'know?"
A slew of messages follows your anecdote, but it is a comment from one of your moderators that catches your eye first:
je0ng1n: what about the other option tho 👀
You groan at the sight of his username. “Man, why are you always here? Don't you have a job?"
je0ng1n: i’m on break je0ng1n: taking a dump je0ng1n: ungrateful bitch
You brandish a middle finger to the camera. “Hope the dump sucks."
je0ng1n: HEY je0ng1n: don’t even joke about that :(
An involuntary cackle precedes your next words. “If you’re actually wondering, though, the only person who’s brought me fruit while I’m playing video games is indeed my mother. Heartbreaking, I know.”
At this, the steady flow of messages morphs into a gallery of depressed cat emoticons; your audience never fails to impress you with their way with words.
“But if someone other than your disappointed parent is bringing you fruit,” you go on, “they might as well get on one knee in the process, honestly. That's such an adorable, loving thing to do.”
Suddenly, the words MATCH FOUND splash across your monitor, and you move your cursor to accept the game invite—only to be met with a pop-up window and a familiar error sound that grates on your ears like screeching tires.
You know how this story ends: the lights in your mouse go dark, and you look on in dejected silence.
je0ng1n: LMFAOOOOO je0ng1n: bro’s mouse definitely just exploded again
“You guessed it," you sigh. “Hang tight for a sec, guys."
Half an hour ago, you could’ve sworn you heard sneakers being kicked off, a set of keys falling against plastic. Now, you pull one side of your headphones off and roll your chair a few feet backward, calling through your half-open door: “Lix, are you home?”
You pick up on a soft clunk that sounds like metal hitting wood—the cutting board, maybe?—and then your housemate's low, accented answer bounces off the walls of your shared hallway.
“Yeah, you alright?”
“The mouse,” you say helplessly.
“Ah.” It’s not the first time you’ve summoned him for this. “Be right there.”
A few seconds later, you remember to tack on a hurried disclaimer: “I’m live, by the way!”
“I know.”
This brings a bashful smile to your face, though the expression quickly turns to one of pure dismay when you return to your desk and witness the disastrous state of your chat.
Felix has become a regular guest on your stream by now, always popping in to show you a TikTok or ask for your opinion on a new pair of jeans or simply give your camera an awkward wave—but he may as well own your channel with how completely and unequivocally he has captured the hearts of your viewers. They’re convinced he’s the sexiest person to ever grace the earth, with his chiseled features and coffee-colored eyes; with a grin that could set entire estates on fire and a voice that could scrape the nadir of the Grand Canyon.
Do you agree? Absolutely.
Do you have any intention of voicing this sentiment, so long as you’re splitting rent with him? Absolutely the hell not.
Another of Jeongin’s messages—GET ME HIS NUMBER OR I GET VIOLENT—inspires you to minimize the stream window before Felix gets here. It’s for the best.
A few moments later, the door opens, and the air shifts inside your room. A hand comes to rest on the top of your head; a familiar silhouette appears in your periphery. There is a fond grin plastered across your face and a bright greeting sitting readily on the tip of your tongue.
But then, Felix places a plate of freshly cut fruit in the empty space to the left of your keyboard—here, he hums, the sound falling against the shell of your ear like a drop of melted chocolate. And the gears of your brain grind to a complete stop.
There is no further acknowledgment; no supplementary explanation for what he's just done. He simply picks up your mouse and gets to work.
The words of your tweet swim dizzyingly before your eyes, not unlike those halos of stars and birds that revolve around disoriented cartoon characters. And you’re suddenly, achingly aware of your roommate's arm nudging against yours as he tinkers away; of the aromas of vanilla and laundry detergent that always come with his proximity; of the heat that’s risen to your face, and the plethora of questions that have surfaced to your mind.
A soft huff of laughter follows a gentle utterance of your name, and you snap out of your trance. Felix’s eyes are glinting with amusement when you meet them.
“It’s been recalibrated,” he says, handing back your mouse. “Just give it a few minutes.”
Your fingertips brush over his palm when you accept the object, and even this blink of contact has your heart performing an elaborate hopscotch routine across the plane of your chest.
It’s either your mom, or…
“Thank you,” you mumble, finally retrieving your larynx from the bottom of the Atlantic.
“Anytime,” Felix returns, and you know he means it. “You need a duo, by the way?"
“Yes, please.”
He gives you a warm smile at this, and there’s a hint of something else—something new—in the curve of his lips. “Give me two.” And he’s gone as quickly as he'd come.
You will never know how Felix slips his phone out of his pocket the second he emerges from your room, his pulse hounding his ears as he turns a nervous gaze upon his screen.
There is now a supersonic blur of messages saturating your chatroom, a colorful cacophony of moving emotes and capital letters, but he is focused wholly on the person in front of the camera and how you slowly lift a hand to your mouth, deathly silent despite your every viewer demanding your comment on the matter, your sanguine cheeks visible even through the gaps of your fingers.
That is all he needs to know.
Felix sinks into the leather of his gaming chair and bends to power on his computer. Only after a deep breath blows past his lips does his smile start to stretch into a grin, every bit as embarrassed as it is relieved.
je0ng1n: no way je0ng1n: no fucking way je0ng1n: my heart fluttered je0ng1n: wtf je0ng1n: how’d you pull HIM??
y/nxx has removed je0ng1n as a moderator of this channel.
𝗹𝗶𝗸𝗲𝗱 𝘁𝗵𝗶𝘀 𝘄𝗼𝗿𝗸? please consider reblogging, commenting, or sending me an ask to let me know; or, read my other works here. thanks so much for the support ♡
© 𝗳𝗼𝗿𝗹𝗶𝘅 (est. 090323) · all works are pieces of original writing and all characters and relationships are purely fictional. please do not repost or reuse for any reason.
#felix x reader#skz x reader#lee felix x reader#stray kids x reader#stray kids imagines#felix imagines#lee felix imagines#felix fluff#lee felix fluff#k-labels#lee felix#stray kids#skz imagines#felix scenarios#lee felix scenarios#skz fluff#stray kids fluff#stray kids scenarios#*writing#*minific#this was very fun to write ehe my inner gamer came alive#oh to be able to queue up with hot housemate lix :(
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come on home
in which the only person who can comfort you after your breakup with spencer reid, is spencer reid
inspired by the song "summer's end" by the artist currently known as phoebe bridgers
wc 2857
warnings: gn!reader (correct me if im wrong), minor mommy issues, angst, happy ending
a/n: thank you to the person who requested this:) u r an angel and I listened to this song the whole time i wrote (if you haven't heard, listen!!) i sincerely hope you enjoy, i like this one a lot<3
She hung up on you.
Forty-seven minutes of being insulted and berated after you’d called her looking for comfort, and you put up with every single cruel word—just for your mother to hang up on you. And it’s exactly the kind of thing she’d do, so you shouldn’t be surprised. An ache, you’d expect—but it shouldn’t sting like this. You thought you knew better.
Now you’re in a ball on your couch, clutching your phone to your chest and crying. There’s no point hiding it. Your roommate is out with her girlfriend for the evening—which is too bad because even though you feel like being alone, you’re sure that’s the wrong call. Your other friends are out having fun tonight, too. They’d even invited you, but you turned them down. Look where that had gotten you. Obviously, your mother is not the person you’re about to run to for comfort, either.
You try to pretend, while you’re thinking of all these people who have ever cared for you, that Spencer Reid isn’t on your mind at all. You try to pretend like you don’t care that the person who loved you until you believed you actually deserved it is a contact going stale deep in the bowels of your text cache. With bleary eyes you scroll down, looking for your conversation where it gathers dust—the end of your relationship was a mutual decision, and you’re friendly, but you haven’t texted in a few weeks. Probably because every time the conversation starts to feel a little too easy, or the phone call lasts a little too long, that aching void in your chest gets worse and worse. Like pain in a phantom limb, you become acutely aware of what you do not have and how much it hurts.
So blame it on the tears, or the mind-muddling melodrama of your relationship with your mother, blame it on anything but the truth—when your thumb drops on that call button like the plunger on a syringe, you don’t regret it.
What you’re not expecting is for him to answer after the first ring.
“Hi,” you say with a snuffle before Spencer can get a word in. There’s a brief interlude, in which you pick at your nails, comfortable to just sit in silence if that’s what he wants. As long as he’s there.
“Hi.” Hearing his voice instantly melts a bit of the weight you hadn’t realized you were carrying. Another pause, for which you remain silent, because you can feel him formulating a question—and you’d like to hear him speak again. “...am I allowed to ask if you’re okay?”
Your lips purse and twist to the side, pained and comforted by how easily he can tell that you’re distraught. One word across a tinny connection, and he knows.
“No. Yes. I mean... I guess that’s why I called you. But you don’t have to ask me about it.” You sniff again and take a deep breath. “How was your day? What state are you in?”
“I’m in the district,” he answers after a moment, easing into a casualness that he likely doesn’t feel for your sake. Wind crunches through the speaker. He probably just got out of work. “My day was... it was good. I got to talk about my job to a bunch of elementary schoolers, which is always a confidence boost.”
You chuckle, still laying on your side on the couch and watching storm clouds gathering outside.
“Nice, nice. What else?”
“Let’s see... I forgot lunch, so I had three oranges, and they were actually pretty good. I reread Game of Thrones—I don’t know why I did that. I’m never going to like that book.”
“Masochist,” you smile. He laughs, and you hear the sound of a car door opening.
“Oh! I talked to my mom. Believe it or not, she says hi.”
A completely inadvertent snort constitutes your response. It’s not what you meant to do, and out of context it’s sort of mean, but you actually think it’s incredibly endearing that he still talks to his mother about you. He scrambles to explain himself.
“I swear, we barely talked about you this time. Mostly we talked about her new boyfriend Leonard.”
“No, no, that’s not... I’m sorry, I’m not laughing at you or your mom. That’s really sweet, actually. Tell her I say hi too.”
When he next speaks, you can hear the smile in his voice.
“I will.” Another long pause. You imagine him sitting in the parking lot at Quantico, keys vertical in the ignition of his old car and feeling the silence just as much as you are. He surprises you by not ending the conversation—instead he asks a question. It is concern, poorly disguised with nervous humor. Or maybe you just know him too well. “Do I get to find out what’s on your mind, or are you leaving me in suspense here?”
You bite the inside of your cheek.
“Um... well, actually, I just got off the phone with my mom, too. It didn’t go so well,” you laugh halfheartedly, “I know it was dumb to try and have an actual conversation with her, but... you know me. Always following blind optimism to the depths of hell.”
“Why’d you call your mom?” he asks, so gently it brings a fresh round of tears to your eyes. Still, you attempt to put a cheerful affect on your strained voice.
“Mm, you know. Just needed someone to talk to.”
Spencer’s knowing sigh does little to make you feel better.
“You know you can always talk to me, right? I know it’s... it’s different now, but... I care about you a lot. And, you know, I receive very few phone calls, so the line is pretty much always open.”
Your laugh quickly devolves into a cry.
“I appreciate that, but I can’t talk to you about everything.”
“Why not?” he pleads immediately, voice thin and desperate like it’s his most burning question. A million lies dance over the tip of your tongue. A million things that feel safer to say than the truth. But in the end, it comes out anyway—choked, and so quiet, but aloud nonetheless.
“Because I’m trying really hard to stop missing you so much.”
Another long beat of silence. The back of your throat feels dry and hollow—a cage for your hummingbird heart.
“If it hurts too much to talk to me, you don’t need to do that to yourself. But I also don’t want you to hurt yourself thinking you’re alone. You are... so important to me. I will always try to take care of you the best I can—whether that means staying away or being at your front door. If you ever need me, or even... vaguely want me, I will be there.”
Each word caves your resolve. Each syllable is a slap in the face to progress you’d been pretending to make. You can be strong—you've proven that over the past ten weeks. You can be stone-faced and slash at your heart until the scar tissue is thick and jagged, and eventually it won’t hurt anymore. But maybe, by letting someone tend to the wounds, they’ll heal a little nicer. A little kinder. Even if you can’t undo the damage, maybe one day you’ll be soft again.
“What if I vaguely want you right now?” you sniffle.
Finally, you hear the silver jingle of keys turning. The sputter and rumble of an old engine coming to life.
“Then I’m on my way.”
Twenty four minutes later, there’s a soft knock at your door.
After the call had ended, you’d wondered if you made it all up. Surely your ex-boyfriend wasn’t actually about to show up at your apartment. Someone you’ve grieved for can’t just come back—there are countless horror novels and movies based upon that very tenet. Does it matter if they ever actually died? How long is ten weeks, really? It feels like a lifetime.
You shuffle across the room, wiping under your eyes with your already damp sleeves, and undoing all the locks Spencer had conditioned you to start using. When the door cracks open, and you see Spencer standing there, windswept and concerned, for the first time in months, it hits you like a tidal wave. You are, beyond a shadow of a doubt, still just as in love with him as you ever were. The relief that floods your veins as he looks down at you with so much care in his eyes is like sinking into warm water. It’s a dead giveaway, and maybe it makes this whole thing a terrible idea, but you can’t seem to care very much. You open the door wider, and he enters, and he stands in your kitchen with his hands in his coat pocket as you shut the door and he’s perfect. It dawns on you that for the first time since the breakup, you feel safe. Like you don’t have to be a stone pillar anymore. This, of course, translates into even more tears, which you try to hide as you face away, re-locking the door.
“Sweetheart...” he sighs, because you can’t hide anything from him. Hearing the resonance of his voice so close to you once more is overwhelming. In an instant you’re rushing into his arms, and he accepts you without hesitation. You bury your teary face in the vetiver safety of his button-up and slip your arms under his coat, as if you could absorb his warmth and forever hide from the world that way. He pulls you even closer. It’s terrible and cruel how much he is exactly what you needed. “What’s wrong? What did she say?”
You shake your head and gasp a small sob.
Truthfully, you’re not really crying about the petty insults from your mother anymore. You’re back to square one, the reason you’d called your mother to begin with—you miss the man whose arms are currently wound around your shoulders.
His hand smooths over the back of your hair.
“Okay. That’s okay. We don’t have to talk about it.”
You stay like that—content even as you cry because being with him feels so much safer than being alone. It feels right—or perhaps it’s just familiar. You don’t know which is worse.
Spencer is rubbing soothing lines up and down your back as you cling to him, soaking him up in all his ephemeral, comforting glory. He surprises you by chuckling—it vibrates through his chest, buzzing against your ear.
“Nice Magritte print. I bet the person who bought that has fantastic taste.”
“Are you gonna ask for it back?” you mumble into the fabric of his suit jacket. He is, of course, referring to the painting you’d more or less stolen from his apartment seven months ago. You really don’t want him to take it home. It’s the most overt Spencer memorabilia you’d allowed yourself to keep in plain sight.
“No, baby. You can keep it.” The words are low, and kind, and they settle you some, but you can’t seem to get him close enough. “What can I do?” he whispers after a moment, helpless as you take a shuddering breath. “Can I make you tea? Have you eaten?”
“Will you just... stay for a little bit? I’ll—I promise I’ll stop crying.”
There is an unexpected lull where you thought you’d receive pretty immediate agreement, but before you can pull back and ask what’s wrong, he murmurs, “yeah. I can stay for a while. But you have to kick me out before it gets too late.”
You wonder if you’re imagining the double-entendre that seems to underline his words in bold red ink. Spencer is too smart to have not noticed a thing like that. You don’t mention it—it all boils down to the same unspoken idea.
Don’t let me stay, because I might not leave.
“I will,” you sniff, finally stepping back and wiping your own tears. It hurts to lose his touch, but at least you know he’s not going anywhere for the next few hours. This, as opposed to everything else lately, can be a beginning instead of an end.
At least, until he goes home.
Three and a half hours later, after tea, an impromptu dinner comprised mostly of cheese and crackers, and several vinyl changes on your record player (which served only as background noise for your long, ambling conversations), things are seeming to wind down to a natural stopping point. Which you hate. The whole time you’d had a dull ache in your chest because talking to him was easier than breathing and you knew it wouldn’t last. There had been one or two false bottoms already—the first when you’d yawned around nine, and the second when you’d gotten up to do your skincare and brush your teeth half an hour later. Even then he’d just leaned against the doorframe, watching your reflection above the sink as you talked for fifteen more minutes. Now you stand across from each other in the kitchen, plates restacked and everything in order. Of course he’d insisted on helping you clean up.
“I should go,” he says, with a soft sort of finality in his voice.
“Is your carriage turning into a pumpkin?” you tease gently, to hide how much you don’t want him to leave. He smiles—a small, weary thing—but genuinely and endlessly charmed by you.
“That among other things.”
“Would you—would you walk me to my room first?”
The hesitance is clear in his eyes and the way his lips part as if to say, ‘I don’t think that’s a good idea’, but you're sure he’s really going to leave in a moment and you’re also sure he won’t deny you this one small thing before he does.
“Okay.”
It’s a short, silent walk through the living room and down the hall to your bedroom door, but you can feel him trailing behind you the whole way. You stop in front of your open door, turning face to face with him.
“Thanks,” you murmur.
His lips pull into a melancholy smile.
“Anytime.”
There’s nothing left to do but wrap your arms around each other once more, tuck yourself into the you-sized space between his head and shoulder and hold on for as long as he’ll let you. The hug lingers for longer than is wise. Spencer adjusts his arms looped around your waist, pulling you closer, and you nuzzle against his neck, grateful that at least he seems as reluctant to let this end as you are.
But eventually, it relaxes. Your hold on each other loosens. His face is just inches from yours, and you get to study every plane and valley and line like you’d thought you never would again. It seems he’s doing the same—losing himself in the luxury of seeing you up close.
“Will you kiss me goodnight?” you whisper, unable to muster any self-consciousness though you know it’s a fool’s errand. Spencer strokes your waist.
“I can’t do that, honey.”
“Why not?”
His voice is just as quiet as yours. It falters slightly as he speaks, so gently, so patiently.
“Because we’re not together anymore.”
“Why not?”
Your feeble, desperate supplication sounds pitiable even to you. You’re not proud, but you can’t find it in yourself to be ashamed, either. All you want is an answer. But it’s like a child asking why the sky is blue, or the earth is round. There is a definitive explanation, but mostly, the adult will shrug, and say, that’s just how it is.
Spencer’s eyes squeeze shut. His head tilts down.
“We can’t do this again, sweetheart. You know why we’re not together.”
In theory—yes. You’d had so many conversations when you’d broken up. It had been a long, painful process, spanning multiple all-nighters at his kitchen table, nursing coffee and trying to convince each other and yourselves that it was the right choice. But it just feels like a horrible, horrible mistake. You feel desperate to explain this to him before he slips away again—the words come out flustered, inelegant as you cling to him.
“But I don’t think I’m getting better without you. I tried, I tried so hard to be good on my own, but everything is worse and harder and—and we weren’t sure about it then, and I don’t think it was the right choice, because I still really need you. Like, all the time. I’m—it’s not getting better without you. Nothing got better.”
He swallows, eyes darting between yours for an infinite second. You’re breathless and your heart is pounding after your confession—you can feel your eyes stinging with the few tears that managed to escape as you spoke.
“Everything is worse,” he agrees shakily. “Everything. I’m—I’m getting disciplinary infractions from Hotch like I’m a child because I can’t focus on anything. Game of Thrones is the most complex literature I can comprehend right now. I had to use a calculator the other day.”
You want to laugh, but nothing is funny until he’s yours again.
“Then come back. Please come back, Spencer.”
Finally, he leans closer, until your heads are pressed together, and his nose bumps yours, feather light. You're dizzy. You exhale. He inhales.
“I don’t think I knew how to leave in the first place.”
When he kisses you, it feels like home.
#spencer reid#spencer reid fanfic#spencer reid x reader#spencer reid x fem!reader#spencer reid x self insert#spencer reid imagine#spencer reid fic#spencer reid angst#spencer reid fluff#criminal minds x reader#criminal minds imagine#criminal minds
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sweet child o' mine | pt. iii
now taking name suggestions for my joel's duck doodle. must rhyme with a curse word. most creative wins.
pairing: neighbor!joel x fem!reader
summary: as your pregnancy progresses, you and joel are getting closer. dangerously closer.
warnings: reader is literally pregnant so typical pregnancy symptoms & descriptions of stuff like extreme nausea and gagging (reader throws up off-page, no graphic description past sore throat/esophagus afterward), body changing, nerves around birth/becoming mom, another sonogram (gender reveal...?), baby kicks felt, labor pains shhh, age gap (late 20s reader, late 40s joel), joel is dating someone who isn't reader, our girl hates nye (she's valid), tommy uses colors to represent gender (he is Wrong), joel is for sure emotionally cheating at this point and reader knows it, joel kisses someone who is not his partner again, f masturbation, memories of the hot dirty sex they had whew, a SPRINKLING of breeding kink, praise kink, size kink, another parent dies (i love parents i promise ????), jealous!reader, protective!joel, alcohol consumption, cursing, a LOT of angst, lots of fluff, lil bit of smut, and duckie has the best comedic timing of any character in this entire series. :) DISCLAIMER: this series covers some issues which i know may be sensitive and possibly triggering to some. warnings will always be as thorough as possible, but if there’s ever anything you feel i’ve missed, please let me know. feel free to drop by my inbox anytime.
word count: 11.4k (sorry. lots to cover lots to do.)
pt. i / series masterlist | main masterlist | playlist | follow @macfroglets w notifs on to be the first to hear when i post 🩵
December.
The days are funneled by a quick pinch of dark, the breeze heavy in its sail. Houses lined with twinkling lights and windows pierced by pointed trees. Crooning from every radio station, teary-eyed movies on TV, and spiced apple everything.
You hate every fucking minute of it.
“Wait a second,” Tommy sits forward, leaning in, “you never do nothin’ for New Years?”
You shrug, lifting your eyebrows. “Nope. Just don’t like it much. That a crime?”
He considers it as he hands his empty tumbler up to Joel, his head lolling some. He’s on his…fourth drink of the night, right? Though, if you take into account his earlier argument – I’m eatin’ as I go. It don’t count. – it’s probably more like two. But it’s whiskey, so –
Never mind.
“Yeah,” Tommy finally decides, “kinda. The hell’s wrong with you, girl?”
“Tommy.”
Joel’s voice is a warning, edged by the sharp clink of three glasses pinched in his fingers.
His brother laughs amiably in response, though, nodding to your mock-offended expression. “At least you’re spendin’ it right this year. Last one before lil’ Dickie comes along, huh?”
Maria slaps his shoulder, rolling her eyes. “It’s Duckie,” she hisses, glancing over to you.
“Shoot,” he says, chuckling. “I knew that. My mistake.” And then, hand out towards you in an apology which makes your shoulders jerk with laughter, “I did know that, I swear.”
Tommy and Maria flew in a few days ago; the younger Miller adamant that he’d spend one last New Years with his big brother before he became a father. The night they arrived, they showed up on your doorstep – a hamper filled with diapers and muslins and baby socks hanging from Maria’s arm. They’ve asked to hang out with you every day since.
They’re good fun. Tommy likes you, at least, enough to tease you as much as you figure a brother might. He’s definitely the louder of the two – sometimes you swear you notice Joel cringing at him, something caught between a laugh and a frown on his face. And Maria’s sweet; she’s asked probably six times every hour since she first saw you if you’re feeling okay, if you’re tired, if you’re hungry.
Joel text you yesterday morning. Tommy and Maria wondering if you feel like coming over for NYE. No pressure, he added, I lie pretty good.
A smile snuck its way across your lips before you had the chance to tame it. Sure, you typed, I’ll bring the newspaper.
What Joel’s told them, about the wedding and the baby and everything since, you’ve no idea. You guys almost talked about it when he told you they were flying down after Christmas, but before you got the chance to ask him, Vanessa pulled up out front.
Not exactly a conversation you felt like having with the dude’s girlfriend hooked around his right arm.
She smiles at you, now, as you shuffle to the edge of the armchair you’re curled up in. Joel’s armchair – the plaid blanket cradling you, the leather soft and crinkled beneath. Your eyes quickly drop from hers when his hand reaches for your mug, your fingers crossing as you pass it up. “Let me come help,” you say, pushing from the chair.
He holds up a palm, shaking his head once. “Stay. I got it.”
“Thanks,” you murmur, settling back. Vanessa resumes smiling. You wish she’d fucking quit it. You wish you’d fucking quit focusing on her.
Joel knocks the mug gently against your shoulder with a small, almost sympathetic smile, and heads for the kitchen – leaving you sat between Tommy and Maria on one couch, and Vanessa on the other. You tuck your heels under your thighs, picking at a hangnail as you wait for the conversation to thaw.
Maria makes some comment about Austin in the winter: how different it is to Jackson, and the three of you nod and hum in agreement before the chatter fizzles to nothing again. You glance over to the clock, watching the hands chase one another to twelve.
This isn’t what you imagined a get-together with Joel’s family would feel like. Tight, tense. So tense that you can feel the weight on your chest, closing your lungs. Talking about the weather and the holiday traffic, talking about nothing to avoid talking about everything.
Tommy’s chin lifts, after a second too long of silence. “Hey, Joel!” he barks. “You ain’t shown me this nursery yet!”
Joel leans around the doorframe, half-distracted. “Barely even started it, little brother. Crib only got delivered yesterday.”
“Sheesh,” Maria’s eyes widen, “you sure are prepared.”
Vanessa laughs when Joel rolls his eyes and vanishes again. “You got no idea,” she says, “I have never seen him so…pedantic, right?” She looks to you, still smiling. So sweet, you worry your lips are pursing at the sight of it. Your neck tensing. Your eyes watering.
“Yeah,” you reply, nodding shyly and swallowing back the saccharine. “I think he’s more nervous than he’s letting on.”
Joel’s voice calls from the kitchen again: your name. When you answer, he says, “Why don’t you take Tommy up, show ‘im what we got so far?” and then, leaning back around the door, “She picked the color ‘n whatnot.”
“Ah,” Tommy says, palms pushing down on his knees, “so you’re the brains, then?”
You mirror him, accepting Joel’s request. As though you had any choice in the first place. Standing beside the younger Miller, you mutter, “Sure. Let’s go with that.”
He holds a hand out to usher you ahead, following you upstairs. Past the tousle-haired boy in grayscale, past the German shepherd, past the Christmas Day portrait. Wandering like you know the house inside out, like you might’ve picked the exact coordinates of each nail the picture frames hang on yourself.
Like the photographs pinned to the walls aren’t still as alien to you as they’d been that day you first set foot in here, the dress Joel would come to tear from your body slung over your arm.
You twist the gold handle and unveil a homely little room, painted by you and Joel just last week. The soft blue drying into his knuckles, random splatters on your palms and your jeans. The giggles drawn from your chest; the thief either the chemicals from the paint, or the man rolling it over the walls – and you’ve a pretty good idea of which.
Tommy sniffs roughly, nodding. Taps the toe of his boot against one of the two bulky boxes leant against the wall, a crib printed on one and a rocking chair on the other. His tipsy head bob bob bobbing. “Alright. ‘s nice, ain’t it?”
You settle against the window, the glass cold at your back. “Real nice, yeah. Be even better once it’s done.”
“What’s yours look like?”
“Mine?”
“Nursery at your place. Your one pink, ‘case it’s a girl?”
You snort. “Mine is a little greener. More…I guess it’s duck egg. Had some leftover paint.”
He clicks his fingers and points to you. “See what you did there. Duck egg. Duckie.”
“Hm. Wish I were that poetic. I just like the color.”
Tommy stuffs his hands in his pockets, wanders around the bare room. The faint lingering of whiskey putting up its best fight against the clean bite of fresh paint, the sweet scent shaking from him when he nods some more at the blank walls and naked windows. He clicks his teeth and asks, “How you holdin’ up, anyways?”
“How am I holding up?”
“Yep. With, uh…” he nods to the door, eyes wide, “…Vanessa,” he whispers. Louder than he must think – probably echoed, if anything, by the palm he curves around his mouth.
You cross your arms protectively, shoulders bunching. “She’s fine,” you say, voice deliberately low. You both ignore the crack in it when you add, “I like her. She’s – she’s taken this all like a champ.”
Tommy leans on the window ledge, a rugged hand you reckon you’d know was a Miller’s just by looking at it. Same rough-cut quality as Joel’s, like they’re torn from the same sheet of sandpaper. He props the other on his hip. “But, boy – it’s gotta be complicated, right?”
“I guess. But she’s real sweet about it. And Joel’s been great, too.” You sniff, the memory of your kiss flashing behind your eyes. The steady drum of Duck’s heartbeat, the gleam in Joel’s eye when he looked down at you. The guilt seeping from your skin like beads of sweat, prickling along your spine and fizzling against the cold windowpane.
Tommy blinks at you, liquor-glazed eyes scanning. His shoulders jerk, a loud huh propelling from his throat. When your head cocks in confusion, startled from your daydream, he spills. “He ‘n I had a mighty long talk when he told me.”
You feel yourself leaning in, magnetized to him – body hunched as though you’re gossiping in the corner of a house party. Inhaling secrets with the tinge of alcohol on Tommy’s breath. “Oh, yeah?”
Tommy hums. “Just wanted to make sure he’d thought it all through. Not you – I always knew he’d take care a’ you and Duck. But…involving Vanessa,” he lowers his voice again, glancing over to the warm light spilling in from the hallway, “I just wanted him to be sure.”
Your blood begins to warm, heat flooding through your body as you step closer, murmuring, “What’d he say?”
He flicks his head, seeming to toss his initial response to the wind. “You know Joel. He is his own man.”
Your face screws, head jerking back. “What’s that mean? He is his own man?”
A voice from the doorway interrupts. A shadow swimming in the golden light. “Who is?”
Tommy steps away from you, loosening his arms as his big brother drifts into the shadowy room. Dusting the conversation under the rug. The smell of whiskey backs off. “Speak of the devil. Nice paint job, Joel. Missed a couple spots, but – I’ll let you off.”
“Uhuh.” Joel’s eyes thin, his body slanted against the wall. Arms crossed, bottle of beer hanging from his fingers.
Tommy swaggers forward when Joel holds the bottle out, taking it with a wary glance at the tall figure. A dog meandering back to his owner, tail between his legs and ears flat. It takes his gritty voice to jolt you back to the room, splintering your gaze from Joel’s toned arms and huge chest. “Looks real good, you two. ‘s one lucky kid.”
Joel’s jaw lifts, his eyes landing on you. Dogs are terrible liars. “He talkin’ your ear off?”
You smile; recognizing the softer Joel you’ve grown used to over the last three months replacing the stern, cold version you once knew so well. “Only a little.”
“Tommy,” he says then, “Maria needs you for somethin’.”
The denim-donned Miller nods knowingly and heads out of the room, thud of his boots receding downstairs.
“Maria okay?” you ask, making space for Joel as he settles beside you.
He shrugs. “Only said that to get him outta your hair.”
You frown. “You sent me up here with him in the first place.”
“So I could come up ‘n check on you. Know this must be a lot – the two of them, tonight.”
“I’m fine. Promise. I’m a big girl.”
You both sigh, turning to look out at the dark street. Your arms cross, sitting somewhere above the tiny slope of your bump – a new development you’re still getting used to. Your stomach feels tighter, a little more solid than usual when you touch it. A little more…real. There’s someone in there, right? Like, actually there. They’re changing the way you look, the way you feel.
“This is it, right?” you say, staring at the white lanterns illuminating Alice Brown’s rose bushes. “This is the year.”
“The year,” Joel agrees.
“Mhm. Become a mom. Become a dad.”
He purses his lips. “Yeah, I don’t know. I’ve had bigger years, kid.”
“Let’s hear it, old man. Let’s hear about your biggest year. God knows you’ve had plenty to choose from.”
He sucks a deep breath in, eyes tracing the silhouette of the houses across the street as he thinks. “Senior year, nineteen ninety-three. Asked Stacy Moore as my date to the prom ‘n she said yes. I was so nervous that I forgot my bow tie. Was a pretty good year.”
You hum, agreeing, and then, “I see your ninety-three, and I raise you: two thousand and one. There was this bike I wanted for-fucking-ever; it had, like, little beads on the spokes – would make this ratatatat sound whenever it moved. Tassels hanging from the handlebars, all iridescent. I begged my mom the entire year for it, and on Christmas morning I woke up, and…” You lift your hands, air puffing from between your lips. “Santa Claus delivered that year, dude.”
“Well,” Joel clicks his teeth, shell hardening only a little, “thanks for making me feel old as hell.”
“You’re welcome.” You beam back at him, breaking into a laugh when he does.
The two of you stand a little distance apart, denying yourselves the innocent brushing of shoulder against shoulder, the nudging of elbows and swaying of hips. Admiring the empty sky and emptier street, bathing between the cold moonlight of outside and the warm lamplight in.
And from somewhere deep in your belly, somewhere tucked behind your ribs, beneath your slow-growing womb: an urge to ask about her. To bring her up. To tend to the curiosity that Tommy poked a clumsy, drunken finger straight into, tearing it apart at the seams.
Like pressing on a new bruise, satiating the hungry need to know where you were hurt, how you were hurt, when you were hurt. A bent fingertip, pushing heavily into a sensitive splatter of dark purple; the burst blood vessels hissing in response, whispering, You don’t know, and you don’t want to know.
But you defy them. You do want to know. Want to satisfy the disturbed thrill you felt, leaning into Joel’s brother. Hands turning over one another, wet bottom lip trembling as he rounded the corner on some sort of…what was it, a secret? Some sort of truth, a long-buried revelation about the other woman. She’s a witch, have you spotted her crooked nose? She’s plotting something, I swear. She’s up to no good.
Your eyes lift again, focusing back on the dull color of the outside world. The bland canvas of reality. She’s not a witch, nor some genius mastermind. She’s a boring, relatively normal woman. Kind, thoughtful. Naïve and a little too eager to please; too willing to forgive a situation which warrants no such kindness or empathy.
She’s just…fine. Lukewarm. And you’ve no idea why that pisses you off so much.
Which, incidentally, makes the bruise sting all the more.
“Maria, Maria,” Tommy’s voice claws its way upstairs, “turn it on, turn it – Joel? Joel! It’s midnight, Joel, you two better come on down, now! Have we missed it –? Have we –?”
The sound of cheering slowly bubbles to life behind his drawl as the TV volume picks up, the tittering of Maria and Vanessa chiming in.
“…five, four, three, two, one…Happy New Year!”
Joel’s looking over his shoulder, waiting for footsteps or voices or a girlfriend who never shows. And he ignores his brother, for he is his own man, and turns to you instead. Bracing himself on the ledge, he blinks down with a plain grin on his lips. “Happy New Year, Mom,” he whispers.
You return his smile, taking his hand when he reaches out to you. “Happy New Year, Dad,” you reply, squeezing his palm.
He pulls you in for a hug, kissing your cheek briskly as you hook your arms over his shoulders. His beard scratches your cheek, grazes the curve of your shoulder, and you don’t mind. Your small, swollen belly presses against his; the tiny curve safe in the midst of your embrace.
Outside, the sky crackles to life with the distant spatter of fireworks, color shattering across the black canvas – red, blue, green and gold, dissolving as quickly as they explode into the now-January night. A burst of purple light washes between the two of you, and you turn your head on Joel’s shoulder to watch as the sparks rain over your neighbors’ roofs.
“I should get goin’,” you whisper, feeling his heartbeat a little too strongly against your own. Becoming suddenly aware of the weight of your frames locked together.
“Glad you came,” he says as he leans away. “I know this ain’t…I know we’re all tryin’, but you’re tryin’ the most, and I appreciate it. I hope you know that.”
“I know it,” you tell him, rolling your eyes. “Now, go. Go kiss your girlfriend.”
He chuckles, making for the door. “You want me to walk you home?”
Your eyes close serenely, the image of him doused in flickers of gold burning behind your eyelids. “I’ll survive the walk across the hedgerow, Miller.”
Joel nods once and leaves, plodding downstairs to be greeted by his open-armed girlfriend, a peck between them, arms crossed behind his neck. The lyrics of Auld Lang Syne slurred against his lips.
And you think – You know what? If it’ll rip you apart from her, if it’ll keep her bright red lips and her shining curtain of hair away from you, if it’ll stop her sucking in your air and your smell and your attention for thirty fucking seconds –
Then, yeah. Walk me home. Stay for a drink. Sleep in the goddamn guestroom.
Walk me home.
You slip out of the front door when the two couples are in the kitchen, missing Joel’s calling your name – or perhaps just ignoring it altogether.
“Spread the love at St. David’s this Valentine’s Day…”
Joel slows alongside a wall of cerise hearts, each one fluttering like wings whenever the hospital doors slide open and the breeze sneaks inside. Slips scrawled with names and messages: Love you M! and J + A, crude drawings of stick figures holding hands. Your lips curl into a smirk, watching him flick through each one as you palm your round stomach.
You just saw Duck for the second time. The last time, Freya was kind enough to mention, before they’re tearing you in two. Sorry, she mouthed when your expression dropped, and went back to twisting the probe over your stomach. Silently.
You’re getting better at it, you think. Playing Mom. Like some little game of make-believe, which is only real for as long as you’re looking it square in the eye – attending doctor’s appointments, updating the neighbors on your newest list of symptoms en route to your mailbox.
A little surer on your feet, now that you’ve found a balance to it: taking it as seriously as it warrants, a dry little pill stuck on the cliff of your throat, and making it easier to swallow with humor like water, a huge gulp anytime the fear claws its way up your spine.
And no more panic, since at least before Christmas. Only a little flustered this afternoon when Freya asked if you wanted to know the sex.
It felt too big a thing to hear, too real. You’re only just getting used to the backache and the bleeding gums. (And why didn’t you know that your gums would bleed? Isn’t that something they should fucking warn you about? Congrats, you’re pregnant: prepare for blood seeping from your jaw.)
No. No, thanks. Your head shot around to Joel. No, right?
He shrugged. Makes no difference to me.
Are you sure?
I’m sure, kid. Promise.
‘cause we can find out. I mean – if you want to.
He rocked forward on the balls of his feet, tapping you amiably on the shoulder. I don’t. You’re good.
You don’t?
No, I – He sighed, a hand dragging through his hair. If you want to, I want to. If you don’t, I don’t. Alright?
Freya bit back a laugh, the closed fist over her lips doing little to hide it. You guys should write a book on co-parenting.
But then she left the room again, closed the door on that same old little bubble – the three of you perched on the bed, you and Joel blinking up at the grains of your child onscreen – and you cried. Again. More.
Everything clearer, everything even more human than before: the globe of their skull, the tiny slope of their nose. All glowing in the dark waves of your womb, twinkling like the most beautiful constellation you could ever come across. Their ankles were crossed, feet forming a tiny heart shape in the top corner of the sonogram. Your hand lifted to point it out to Joel, and before the words found voice, you choked and broke down again.
He held you, lips to your hair, body solid as a rock as you melted into him in waves of salty tears. Smiled that honey-glazed smile and said he was so proud of you, said, look what your body’s doin’, darlin’, look what you’re growin’ – which only made you weep more.
And you pretended not to wait for it – for the moment when you might tilt your head up and your lips might line with his, and he might close the achy space between you again, might shush your cries by stealing the air from your lungs and the beat from your heart.
But he didn’t.
Which is fine.
Right?
“Somethin’ on your mind, kid?” he asks now, eyes still glued to the sea of hearts.
Your stare snaps from him instantly, unaware it was even held there. You tug on the hem of your sweater and pull the sleeves over your hands, mumbling, “Fine, I’m – I’m just…Come on, man. I’m hungry. I didn’t eat lunch today.”
“’n whose fault is that?”
You glower at him. “How considerate,” you seethe, “Vanessa’s a fucking lucky woman, you know that?”
He ignores you, a dumb smile on his face. The usual. “Let’s leave one for ‘em.”
A hot temper begins to boil below the surface of your skin, squeezing between your teeth in a fist-swinging breath. Also the usual these days, apparently. “For who?”
“Duckie. Somethin’ to mark the second scan. Last time we see them, before –”
Your hand flies up, eyes closing with a wince. Shut the fuck up. “Enough. I know.”
Joel hms, still smiling to himself. His beard has grown out a little: thicker, darker, gray sewn through like little whip stitches lining his jaw. He fishes a heart shape from the tub along with a pen, which he twirls annoyingly around his fingers as he thinks.
You sink back against the clinical white wall, an offensively bright color, holding your cheeks up in something of a smile when a nurse wanders past, nodding to both of you. Your face drops back to a scowl as soon as she’s over Joel’s shoulder, and your eyes meet his again – his brows raised, expectant.
“What?” you ask, chewing on the inside of your cheek.
He holds the slip up. “What we gonna write?”
And whatever charm the moment may have held, withers instantly. You throw your arms up petulantly. “You wanted to do it! Pick something. See you soon, or something, I don’t fucking know.”
“I don’t fucking know,” Joel muses, creases by his eyes when he smirks. “Poignant.”
“That’s what you should write,” you step closer, shoving your shoulder into his as you study the trembling hearts on the board, “if you can spell poignant, write that.”
“Hilarious,” he mutters, bending to scribble onto the shape, shielding his work from your view when you hang around his shoulder to pry. Cupping over the message until he’s straightening up, tossing the pen back to the desk, stealing a pin from the tub.
“Let me read,” you protest, tugging on his flannel sleeve.
“I will,” he says, shaking you off. “Patience, darlin’.”
Joel turns to the wall and pins the heart higher than the rest, in a spot clear of its own on the corkboard – thick arms stretching higher higher higher and pulling your gaze with them. As he steps back, he takes you gently by the waist and positions you in front of his body, your shoulders brushing against his chest. Your ribs hold your heart back from hammering into his.
You push up onto your tiptoes and squint at the note, which quivers when the hospital doors pull open again. “Mom and…Mom and Dad f…You fucking…”
Joel dodges your batting arm, snickering with you as he turns to make for the exit. “You don’t like it?” he tosses over his shoulder.
The heart stares down at you, black ink carved into the paper, watching as you turn and hurry after him, giggling. “Mom and Dad fuckin love you? So much for my potty mouth. And the –” another wheezing laugh you’d otherwise be ashamed to let him hear, “– the drawing? It looks – it looks more like a giraffe than a duck. Or, like, you know those long-necked dinosaurs?”
Joel’s head tips back, his own laughter caught up by the breeze when you wander outside, slipping your wrist around the crook of his elbow. Something infectious about it, something which stirs your own laughter until you’re walking arm in arm to the truck with a man who, six months ago, you’d barely look at twice over the fence.
The blind rage bubbling from your empty stomach seems to dissipate, dwindled to nothing in the face of that same man – his swollen cheeks and crows-feet eyes. And you say, “You’re disgustingly sentimental, you know that? Like, sickening.”
And Joel smirks, the way he always fucking does, and says, “You love it. Can’t lie to me.”
“I love it,” you concede, nudging into him as he opens the door for you.
The drive home is quiet, but not uncomfortable. There’s another thing you’re getting good at: being around Joel without need for snide remarks, without feeling your tongue curl under the weight of some snappy quip, loaded and aimed. Being around him and talking about Duck, asking how Tommy and Maria are. Forcing your teeth and tongue to carve out words which ask how Vanessa is, what she’s up to, when he’s seeing her next.
None of this is ideal, that’s for sure. Joel’s girlfriend aside, you’ve spent the last five months cohabiting your body with a stranger who lives most peacefully in the eye of a raging tornado of hormones – flitting between fits of giggles and pulsating joy in your veins, to waves of tears and an anger so hot beneath your skin that you wonder if your emotions might dry up completely by the time this is all through.
It's tough. It’s scary. And some nights you lie in bed, alone, wet eyes fixed on nothing, waiting for someone to burst into the room and announce that it’s all a prank. Just a silly joke. You and Joel can go back to tossing newspapers and casting glowers.
But for now, sat in the passenger seat of his truck – the seatbelt warped around the curve of your belly, the Eagles lilting softly from the radio – it feels like you’re making a home out of that tornado, too. Feeling the swirling walls of wind toss your hair like the breeze through the truck window; the chilled caress of the evening around your outstretched arm, soaring down the highway.
Yeah, you think. I can make something outta this.
“You know what I’m craving?”
Joel’s watching the light, waiting for green. “What’s that?”
“A fucking bagel. Cream cheese, pastrami,” you groan.
He snorts, cringing when he adds, “Pickles?”
A moan tears from the base of your throat, head lolling against your seat. “I could orgasm just thinking about it.”
The light turns, and Joel swings right. “I’d rather you didn’t,” he mutters, turning the wheel with one palm. “I got bagels back at the house, if you want one.”
You stare at him, jaw loose, saliva pooling behind your bottom lip. “Are you fucking kidding me?”
He smiles, shaking his head. “Let me make you one, ‘fore you go home. Big day, ‘n all.”
And you hate it – hate the way your cheeks fill with a genuine happiness, something swollen and achy, impossible to ignore when it lifts your eyes and hurts your teeth. Appreciation, or admiration, perhaps, that you figure you’ll only ever have for him. You don’t know what the fuck to call it.
So you sum it up into three words. “That’d be nice,” you whisper, and Joel places his hand over your knee, shaking it lightly as he drives on.
It stays there, until he’s pulling into his driveway.
He pushes the front door open and steps back, an arm extended to let you by first. An after you, ma’am, between his lips. And you turn to make some mocking joke, the beginnings of some comment about how gentlemanly he is, when you’re socked square on the nose by a heavy-fisted, bitter scent.
“Oh, fuck,” you gasp, stumbling backwards across the threshold and onto the porch again. Your throat constricting around nothing, your tongue twisting, your stomach lurching.
Joel catches you just in time to stop you from falling on your ass. “The hell’s the m–? Oh.”
“Hi!” Vanessa calls from the kitchen, leaning around the doorframe to wave you both in. “Almost ready! Take a seat.”
“V–? Hey, sweetheart?” Joel calls back, one hand around your wrist and the other between your shoulders. “What – what’s cookin’?”
She pauses, glancing back at the stove. Pulls the dish towel between her hands taut. “I…I made pasta.”
“Yeah, what kind, sweet?”
“…Bolognese.”
He can’t cover his own sigh quick enough. Thick with something which feels like anger. “Shit,” he turns back to you, “I am so sorry.”
You pull in a deep, unsteady breath, your lungs struggling to separate night air from tomato juice. A weight rolling at the bottom of your stomach, your entire body beginning to tremble with it. “I feel like I’m gonna – Joel, I’m gonna –”
“Breathe,” he whispers, voice urgent, palm slipping to cup your jaw. “Just breathe for me.”
But your throat’s tightening, swallowing hard around gags which come stronger and quicker the more you try to fight them down. “I can still fucking smell it –”
Her shadow blocks the stretch of light from the house. A nervous little thing, a timid creature’s shadow stretched wide across the porch floor. “Is…everything okay?”
“It’s – it’s fine,” Joel sighs again, torn between comforting you and letting Vanessa down gently, “it’s just – tomato is one of her…her aversions.” He’s unable to pull his eyes from you, privately asking, “Are you okay?” when Vanessa turns back to the kitchen.
“I didn’t – I didn’t know,” she mumbles, thumbnail between her teeth. “I am so sorry.”
Suddenly, your will not to throw up is overpowered by your will to tell her, “It’s fine,” sucking in a deep, sickly breath before adding, “I’m just gonna – I should go.”
“I don’t want you to go,” Joel says, his teeth guarding the words from his girlfriend.
“I’m gonna clean up in here,” Vanessa points over her shoulder, and you think she must’ve heard him, “get outta your hair. I’m so sorry, again. I would’ve never…”
Joel lets go of you as you stagger backwards, the cold air tearing down your throat to meet the burning acid tickling up your esophagus. “Please don’t apologize,” you lift a weak hand, “how could you have known? I’ll –” another sharp gasp, “– I’ll see you guys around.”
He must say your name, must try once more to pull you back to his side, but the blood’s rushing through your ears, and your heart’s pounding at the back of your tongue, and your stomach’s notching its way up your spine. You make it to your kitchen sink just in time.
He keeps you waiting all of one hour before he’s calling you. Your arm reaches over to your nightstand, fumbling in the dark for your heavy phone, the screen cold against your cheek.
“Mhm?”
“Are you okay?”
Your lungs pull a deep, slow breath. The acid painted across your throat tickles as the air passes by it, an uncomfortable, scratchy feeling.“Mhm.”
“That a lie?”
“Only a little. Is Vanessa okay?”
He takes a second to answer. Lets go of whatever he was going to say with a sigh, replacing it with, “She just left.”
“Is she mad at us?”
Another second. “Just me. Not you.”
You massage the slope below your breasts, the ache in your esophagus throbbing when you move. “Why just you?”
Ruffling, like he’s settling back into his couch. Sinking into the cushion, his body as heavy as yours feels on your mattress. “I should’ve told her you didn’t like tomatoes. ‘cause now I’m a goddamn mind reader. I mean, why the hell wouldn’t my girlfriend be in my house cookin’ a damn pasta dish while I’m out, y’know? Jesus Christ.”
“Joel,” you turn slowly onto your back, bravely waiting for the waves of nausea still lapping around your stomach to turn with you, “it was a nice thing, what she did. She didn’t mean to…She probably thought she was helping.”
“Naw, I know,” he replies, the sharp bite of his words softening again, shrinking under yours. “I don’t care about her and her helping, though, darlin’, I care about y –” He barely catches it in time. “I care about you carrying my child, and I care about making sure you don’t spend your nights fuckin’…throwing up tomato sauce.”
You gulp, neck convulsing. The backwash of bile swallowed back. Your chest floods with a heat of quick panic. “Can we…maybe…not use the word? I just –”
“Sorry, baby. Sorry. This is just – it’s a lot easier if she would just…”
Your eyes close over, a salty sting sweeping behind them. If she would just lay off. Back off. Fuck off. “…but she won’t, Joel. She loves you. ‘n you…”
The words drift off, taken by the tide, swept off into silence. And neither of you bother with trying to retrieve them – you just watch, stood safe on the shoreline, as they fold under the waves of something too big for either of you to acknowledge. Too dark, too dangerous.
So, you say, “I get it,” instead; say, “I get why you’re mad. Just – let’s forget about it, okay? Sorry for…ruining dinner.”
Joel scoffs, that old, pissed-off Joel scoff. You can see his deadened expression on the back of your eyelids. You may as well have just thrown his newspaper to the end of the earth. “You know damn well that you didn’t ruin anything. How you feelin’?”
“Tired. Throat kinda hurts.”
“Still feel like that pastrami bagel?”
“Not really. Sorry. Appetite’s gone.”
“How about a water?”
“I got some here. Thanks.”
“Okay,” Joel sniffs, “how about: you take the hint and let me come over there to see you?”
You giggle, hand over your eyes to mask your expression from the dark. “I hate you. Yeah, come over. Door’s unlocked.”
Date night – six month anniversary or whatever. Call me if you need anything.
And I mean anything. OK?
Your thumbs hover over the two gray messages, an awkward jig as your brain scrambles to offer words back. Where are you guys going? Too interested. Too weird. OK, what if I’m bored? Delete delete delete. Trying too hard. Sure, have a good n–
The ellipsis pops up and you freeze. A stupidly polite swish delivers Joel’s third text.
Boredom counts as anything, by the way.
And the fucker steals another smile from you. You notice it when you look up, clocking yourself in the mirror. Accompanied by a warmth which drips down your spine, swirls around your tummy; a fluttering you’re not sure is Duckie or something else.
Have a good night, Dad, you type back, tossing the phone to the end of your bed when you hit send. Swiping for a pillow, holding it firm to your face. Pressing so deep into the plush that even the linen won’t be able to see your grin.
Joel told you about this six-month anniversary last week. He wasn’t too thrilled about it then, either. Dinner to celebrate six months? A year, fair enough. But six months?
You swallowed your pride, swallowed the same throttling ecstasy which seeped through your pores on New Year’s Eve, on that February evening she cooked– never mind; a desperate desire to tear apart the very notion of Vanessa and her cutesy little date nights and candlelit dinners. I think it’s a fun idea, you said. Y’all should do it.
And Joel listened. Because he always fucking listens to you, these days. Listens when you tell him that you like the watermelon Sour Patch Kids best, and picks them up anytime he’s at the store. Listens to you when you tell him he should move the crib away from the window, in case the streetlights shine on Duck while they sleep.
Listens when you ramble about how sore your feet are, how heavy your belly feels, how there’s a clammy heat lingering under your skin at all times, bubbling and bubbling and never rising to anything more than steam collecting on the underside of your flesh.
Listens when you tell him to go spend time with his girlfriend. And neither of you pay attention to the jealous shadow behind your words, the hesitant quiver behind his.
He replies almost instantly, the ping like a gunshot at the beginning of a race. Pillow slammed into the mattress, body lunging forward.
You too, Mom. Don’t have too much fun without me.
You lock the phone and slide it back under your covers, smiling dumbly.
There’s still a small part of you waiting for the big reveal: none of this is really happening. A dream, maybe, something you’ll wake from with a tiny throbbing headache, a dry mouth and a new reason to avoid your neighbor at all costs.
But it seems that, each time that thought crosses your mind, you’re quicker and quicker to quash it. Realizing each time that what lies ahead – Joel, your baby, this future version of yourself that you’re yet to meet, still just a little out of reach – fills you with more excitement and wonder, than it does fear.
Mom.
It’s not something you ever imagined for yourself. Not someone you ever thought you’d be. And yet, each time you say it out loud, each time you look in the mirror and picture a baby in the crook of your arm, a toddler perched on your hip, a kid stood by your side, tugging on the hem of your shirt – she feels a little closer. A little clearer. She just has to look over her shoulder, notice you waiting. I’m right here, she says. Come find me.
Mom. Mom and Dad.
You imagine Joel right now, sat in some ritzy restaurant with jazz music and stained-glass lamps on every table, ordering Vanessa some glorified lentil soup and slapping his card over the bill before the waiter has a chance to reveal the damage to him. Your lips twist at the thought – her jewels and her long hair and her sweet little smile laced with a smug possession.
And then you slap your own wrists, hissing to yourself to shut the fuck up.
“She’s nice,” you argue out loud, thin air holding no debate. “She’s kind, and I like her. She’s good for him.”
And then the air replies. Good for him, it swirls, but you could do it better.
Your arm lifts, lingering for a beat before batting the thought away.
Three weeks. Three fucking weeks, between pushing yourself out of his embrace in bed, and pulling yourself back into it – armed with a pregnancy test and a chest full of fear. Three weeks of dodging him, of your cheeks bubbling with embarrassment and regret anytime you thought of it; of hoping to God that Alice or Diane or Steve and Kris across the street wouldn’t clairvoyantly know what had transpired that night and corner you on your own front lawn.
A one-night stand. That’s all it was. Two lonely bodies, excitement enough to convince you both that it was a good idea; a fitted suit and a backless dress crumpled together on the floor. Liquid courage lacing it all together.
Three weeks, then, of reminding yourself how it felt: how amazing you were together. Your hand between your legs and Joel’s name between your teeth.
Fuck. If only he knew. Goodforhimgoodforhim she’s so good for him but I’m better.
You did it better. You know you did. The sun was cresting the horizon by the time the two of you stopped. You hauled yourselves down to breakfast and sat at least three people apart, made forced conversation with Maria about the DJ stumbling off with one of her cousins, while the ghostly ache of Joel’s body churned somewhere deep inside you.
It travels through your veins the way that everything does right now: urgent and unforgiving. A need to be dealt with, immediately. Coursing through your body, an arrowhead pointing somewhere you know it shouldn’t. But your hands lift anyway – following it, loosening the waist of your sweatpants and skimming beneath your underwear.
Your body lights at the first touch. The first dip of your middle finger against the plush over your clit. Knees bend, thighs part. You push your underwear down your hips, settling your bottoms loose on your legs. You’re already wet. You’re already there.
Good fucking girl. She’s good but I’m better, right? Take it, baby. Does she take it like I take it? Take it. Can she take you like I did?
Quicker and quicker and quicker, your fingers heavy on your clit. The other hand sifting between your folds, dipping to collect a glimmer of wet. Yeah. Just like that. Do you fuck her like you fucked me? You feel what you do to me? Fuck no, you don’t. You’ve never fucked anyone like you fucked me.
Head back, eyes fluttering closed, lips parting to breathe answers to a man who isn’t here. To a man who, as he dips sourdough into an overpriced soup, sure as hell isn’t thinking about that time he fucked you so good he got you fucking pregnant.
Well. Maybe he is. You are, right?
Voice without body, drawl etched in your memory. Think she can take it all? You hum in amusement, waiting for him to answer his own question. Yeah, she can.
Attagirl. Your legs spread further, knee lifting as you insert two slick-coated fingers. His hands are on your thighs, following the dip of your hips, holding your waist as you guide him back inside. Attagirl. That’s my – Fuck, Joel, you’re so b– That’s my fuckin’ girl. Take it. Touch it. His thumb on your clit – his, not yours. You like that? Yeah, that’s nice, ain’t it?
The flesh of your breasts filling his palms, squeezing and nipping and rolling between. The warmth leaking between your legs: his and yours and fuck, he’s so deep and he’s filling you again and he’s groaning as more dribbles from where he splits your body around his own, holding you still until he’s done. Until he’s empty.
“Joel,” you whine, a third finger pushing in.
Between your hips. Headboard hammering against the wall. The sun hanging loose at the bottom of the sky. Gonna make me come again, baby. Do it. Do something irreversible. Change me forever. Fuck me fuck me fill me and then pull out, push back in with the wet squelch of your come mixing with mine and changing me forever. Making me brand new. Making me yours.
Another moan. Louder. Sharper.
Yours yours yours. All mine? All yours. We’re good at this. I know we are. Who fucks you like this? No one – No one – just you – just me. It’s so big, fuck, but I can take it. Been thinkin’ about this all fuckin’ day, baby. All I do is think about you. All I fucking do – You gonna come for me? – is think about you.
Know you need it. Let ‘em hear you, downstairs.
Fuck, I’m thinking about you. Come home. I need you to come home, need you to –
Fuck me, Joel, I’m –
Good girl.
– fuck me.
Atta fuckin’ girl.
She’s good but I do it so much better.
We’re good at this. ‘s do it again.
She’s not as good as me.
Again? Again.
She’s not as good. She’s no fucking good.
Your walls clamp around your fist, entire body shuddering to a stop. Breath held by something shaped like the hook of his accent, two fingers either side of your throat. The same smirk on his lips that convinced you in the first place. Fuck, baby, fuck me.
“Joel,” you cry out, the sound ripping between your vocal cords, punching against the ceiling and reverberating in your ears. Your body convulses on the mattress, back arching and slackening again. “Fuck, I’m – oh, my –”
Just feel it, baby. Feel me. You got it.
Let go.
Your lungs lurch open again, breath flooding in like waves spilling over the gunwale and rushing down to pool at your feet. A lulling rock to your movements, chest rising and falling like the steady tide. Soothing, coming down. Foam and salt carrying the flotsam away, the jagged glass of his name disappearing to sea again.
And then he’s gone.
And you’re just alone in your bedroom.
Last you checked your phone, now face-down on the carpet at your hip, it was eight p.m. Streetlights on, the sky painted by the pale dregs of daytime.
Now, you lie in near-darkness, blinking up at the ceiling. Hand sifting through a bag of glow-in-the-dark stars, comparing the different sizes, considering where to stick them, and then tossing them back in frustration.
Your front door clicks open, a pause between the sound and his voice.
“Anyone home?” Joel calls, and you lift your wrist as though he can see it from the bottom of the fucking stairs.
“Up here,” you eventually announce, knuckles rubbing your tired eyes until Catherine wheels spatter across your eyelids.
His shadow splits the light from the hallway, the long rectangle crossing over your swollen belly. “The hell are you doin’?” he asks, wandering in.
You lift the bag. “Decorating. The hell are you doin’?”
He pulls your nursing pillow from its temporary home in the crib and tosses it down on the carpet, bending to lift your shoulders and slot it underneath. “Scooch,” he says, groaning as he lays back beside you. He smells like whiskey and cologne. All woody, pine and spice.
“You got a bad back,” you warn him. “You shouldn’t be all the way down here.”
“You’re seven months pregnant,” Joel clicks his teeth, “neither should you.”
“What if you get stuck ‘n can’t get back up?”
Offense pulls his brows together. “What if you do?”
You smile in response, feeling the heat of his shoulder against yours. Sucking the scent of him through your nose. The pair of you exchanging smirks and batting eyelashes, wrapped in the cool darkness of the room. It’s juvenile and intimate.
You’re trying not to think too much about it.
“I can’t fucking figure this out. I put two of the big stars over there,” you point to the far corner of the room, streetlight splintered by the shades on the ceiling, “but it looks stupid having two so close. So, then I thought,” moving your arm to the right, “a cluster of smaller ones, right over the crib. But I couldn’t move the damn thing to climb up, so…I’ve been down here ever since.”
Joel lifts his hand, stopping your train of thought. “Please do not climb on anything, bein’ that you are…with child.” And then, when your eyes roll to meet his, he grins, adding, “Nesting got you good, huh?”
“You should see my kitchen cupboards. Never been tidier.” Your expression dissolves, voice quietens – your most desperate plea since that morning you shook hands on his doorstep. Your broken wardrobes and his lonely wedding invite. “Will you help me?” you ask.
He thinks it over less than once, dragging his gaze from the twirling star in your fingers. A quick shake of his head, like it’s obvious. “’course I will. ‘s what I’m here for.” And then he yawns, lowering a hand absentmindedly to settle on the curve of your stomach; a gentle pat in greeting to Duck.
“How was dinner?”
“Good,” Joel lies.
“Vanessa okay?”
“Good,” again.
“Sorry.”
Joel’s eyes roll, fingers pausing. “Why do you always gotta be sorry for som’?”
You shrug when you realize it’s not a rhetorical question. He’s genuinely asking. “I don’t know. Just tryna be polite. I know you’d probably rather be at home right now, not…deciding where some plastic fuckin’ stars should go.”
“For my kid’s bedroom? For you?” He huffs something shaped like disapproval. “Do me a favor – stop with the sorrys, alright?”
“I’m not even done with the last fucking favor I said I’d do you.” Your eyes flit down to your bump.
He stares blankly. You know there’s a laugh gathering like hot air on a windowpane behind his eyes, threatening to shatter the glass.
“Fine,” you concede, “dickhead.”
“Better.”
You sigh, looking back down at the phosphorescent shape in your hands. Turning it over and over and over, matching the rhythm of his fingers tensing and then untensing on your belly. His fingers, matching the rhythm of your chest rising and falling with breath. The room quiet. The night’s eyes averted, even just for this moment.
“If it’s anything,” Joel says, “I think the stars look alright.”
Another stolen smile. Another defiant show of teeth. You place your hand on top of his: a thankful gesture, an invitation. Something in between.
Joel blinks back at you, his eyes flitting from yours to your lips. The dim light in the room swallowing the two of you whole, secluded in the upstairs of your home. And you think, Kiss me, kiss me kiss me kiss me, and you will the words over your tongue in a ragged breath – hoping that Joel might breathe them in and feel their sharp edges as they absorb into his bloodstream, each cell flipping like the star in your hand and whispering the same two words to him: Kiss her kiss her kiss her.
But right then –
There’s a burst of movement. Under your fingertips. A fluttering, like bubbles popping right below the surface of your skin.
Your eyes snap down at the same time Joel’s do; your fingers separating and hovering over your tummy.
“Did you – did you feel –?”
“Yeah. Did you?”
“Uhuh. Was that –?”
“I don’t know. Was it?”
He takes your hand, pressing it back against your stomach with his on top. Your knuckles safe in the canopy of his palm. Both staring into space as you hold your breath.
“They’re not…they’re not doin’ it, now…”
“Maybe it was just –”
“Wait! Did you feel that?”
A second burst on your womb, a tiny beat on the other side of your bump. A wide grin breaks across your cheeks, a disbelieving laugh escaping.
Joel laughs, too. “Is that – is that the first time they’ve ever –?”
“Yeah,” you sniff, tears prickling at the corners of your eyes, “that’s the first I’ve ever felt ‘em, anyways.”
“Wait,” Joel says, lifting his hand and holding a finger up. Just yours on your belly. “They doin’ it?”
Your head shakes.
When he lowers his hand, Duckie kicks again. The two of you lean in to one another, exchanging laughter. You lift your own hand, watching his expression as he waits patiently.
But then his head shakes, too. “Nothing. They’re only doin’ it when it’s both of us.”
“What the fuck?” you laugh, replacing your hand and waiting for the baby drum. “How can they even tell? What the f–?”
You shift your hands around the globe of your bump, pausing every so often to feel for Duck’s movements. A tiny fist punching, or a heel kicking, or an elbow shoving right above your navel in a way that’s bordering on painful, but numbed by the sheer thrill of it.
And for a while, it’s all you do: play tag with your unborn baby, giggling when they respond to your tapping fingers and cooing voices.
Joel sits up, leaning on his elbow to talk to his kid; runs two fingers across your shirt like a pair of legs scaling a cotton covered hill. And he laughs, and you laugh at his laugh, as if he’s a kid himself again – tearing apart gifts on his birthday, gasping and throwing his head back with glee at whatever he uncovers.
“It feel weird?” he asks, glancing up at you.
“So fucking weird,” you tell him.
“Does it hurt?”
“More…ticklish, if anything. Might get kinda annoying, if they start doing it when I’m tryna sleep, or somethin’…”
Joel lowers his jaw to your stomach, whispering, “You know what to do, Duckie. Make your daddy proud.”
You slap his shoulder, muttering, “Asshole.”
“Alright,” he says, splintered by a laugh. He pushes himself to his feet, swiping the bag of stars from your side. “Let’s get these up so you two can get some sleep.”
You groan as he pulls you upright, one last pat on your stomach, looking at you a second too long and a touch too meaningful. Too warm, too inviting.
It’s the calm before the storm, though you’re still stood motionless. Still trying to work out whether the tornado is moving away, or headed directly for you.
At five in the morning, Vanessa’s sister calls her.
“Heart attack,” Joel tells you a few hours later, the rustle of paper crinkling in your ear. The truck hums in the background. He speaks through a mouthful of sandwich. “Her dad always had a condition, but they thought they were managin’ it with medication,” another crinkle, and then, voice even more obscured, “but he got rushed to hospital durin’ the night, and…”
“Poor Vanessa,” you reply, nail drawing shapes on the curve of your bump in attempt to lull Duck into a more relaxed state than the sharp kicks they’re throwing at your ribs. Now big and strong enough to do considerable damage, your voice falters each time they swing. “Is she – son of a bitch – is she okay?”
“Shaken up,” he says, turn signal ticking over his voice. “She’ll be alright. She’s pragmatic like that. Problem is – they’re in Houston. Her whole family. So I guess that’s where the funeral’s gonna be.”
You swing your legs off the couch, heaving your awkward, nine-months-pregnant body to your feet – the irritating scratch of hunger suddenly gnawing at your stomach. “Yeah?” you say, waddling through to the kitchen. “So?”
“So,” Joel takes another bite of sandwich, “she has to – I mean, we have to…go. To Houston.”
“We?” You slot the phone between your cheek and shoulder as you fish out a couple slices of bread.
“Me ‘n Vanessa.”
“Uhuh,” you carve a knife around a jar of peanut butter, “you gotta be there for her.”
Joel sounds a little defensive. “I know. And I am. I’m goin’ to be. ‘s just – I gotta be there for you, too. For – for Duck.”
Your stomach swirls, a fire catching which lights your chest in a trickle of flame.
“You are. You will be. Houston’s only, like, three hours away.”
He sighs.
The turn signal fills the silence between you, between Joel and an appropriate answer. Clicking like the sound of a tennis match, his head spinning between his grief-stricken girlfriend, and the third-trimester mother of his child.
“I’m here,” he says, and you hear the squeal of brakes out front. “Give me a sec.”
The door pushes open as you sink back into the couch, balancing the plate on the planet beneath your breasts. Joel crumples his sandwich paper in his fist and lowers his hand over the back of the couch, scrunching his fingers over your belly as he passes.
“Thought you hated that stuff,” he calls over his shoulder, disappearing into your kitchen.
“I had a craving,” you say, ripping the first bite from your sandwich. “You made me hungry.”
He returns a minute later with a glass of water which he sets down on the coffee table in front of you. He lifts your legs, letting them fall gently in his lap when he collapses into the opposite end of the couch, heels of his palms pressing against his eyes.
You tap his thigh with the ball of your foot and he turns to you, placing a hand over your ankles. A sticky paste of peanut butter and bread between your molars, you ask, “What’shup?”
Joel holds back a smirk at your chipmunk cheeks. “Just – just worried that you…you know, while I’m gone, is all.”
You scoff, gulping. “Come on. I am not gonna go into labor in the, what – two days? How long would you even be gone?”
He seems to wince at the thought, fingers sifting through his hair – a gray sweep sat casually over his left eyebrow; flicks following the curve of his ear towards the hinge of his jaw. “Less than that, if I can help it.”
“Joel.”
He turns to you, saying your name just as deflated in response.
“You have to go.”
He rolls his eyes, thumb and middle finger massaging his temples. Crosses his arms and huffs like a teenager. “Well, I ain’t happy about it.”
You snort, unable to hold it in as you take another bite. “I ‘on’t think Vanesha’sh too happy about it, either, to be honesh wih ya.”
Joel’s jaw slackens, a choked laugh bursting from the back of his throat. He lifts a cushion and swings it in your direction. “Heartless. That’s heartless, you know that? Jesus, baby.”
He leaves on Saturday morning.
You stand on your porch, watching him shove a suitcase into the backseat of his truck, squinting in the sunlight as he stalks across your front yard. Joining you in the shade, he leans into you, shoving you lightly.
“Quit it.” Your hand locking with his, steadying yourself. Something in the back of your mind begging him not to let go.
And as if he can hear the thought: “I can stay. You know I can stay, right?”
“I don’t want you to stay,” you tell him, sweeping the hair from his forehead. “We will be fine. We’ll stay up late, eat junk food and watch TV; I’ll do audio description for Duck…”
He scoffs, glancing across the street.
“…and then you’ll be back home, back to buggin’ the hell out of us. It’ll be Monday before you know it.”
Joel’s jaw tightens. “And what if…?”
“You really think that’s gonna happen? You think your kid’s that much of an asshole?”
He doesn’t miss a beat. “Yeah,” he shrugs, tongue in his cheek, “they’re half you.”
“Alright,” you click your teeth, turning away from the simper on his lips, “why don’t you just fuck off to Houston now, asshole?”
“I’ll fuck off, that’s what I’ll do.”
“Uhuh. Here’s hoping you don’t break down, or get a flat, or get struck by lightning, or anything.”
“You’re so funny,” he whispers, leaning closer.
“Hm. Now go.”
His jaw turns, beard grazing your skin. And then his lips; soft and warm, damp when he kisses your cheek. A moment too long. And he doesn’t pull away, doesn’t lean back the way you both know he should. No, he lingers – his lips by your ear, eyes flitting up to the street to make sure nobody sees.
“Joel –”
“I know.”
“We shouldn’t –”
“I know.”
But your arm is hooking around his neck, asking him to do it anyway, and his lips are lowering to yours, submitting to your request, and what’s supposed to be a goodbye kiss lasts at least a few seconds too long for it to mean anything less than a don’t go kiss.
You pull away when you feel the wet dab of his tongue against yours, realizing with an ice-cold shock where you are, and who he is, and what’s happening. Realizing how fucking stupid it’d be for both of you, how catastrophic and terrible the outcome.
A one-night stand.
A one-night stand.
A one-night –
He leans his forehead against yours, nose nuzzling your cheek. “I’ll call you when we get there.”
Your arm loosens, letting him go.
Just – letting him go.
Saturday Night Live ends just after midnight.
You arch your back into the couch, your swollen belly pushing forward. It’s an effort to get to your feet, what with the steady ache in your back all day, the weight on your front, and the fucking human being smushed into every vital organ inside you.
A deep breath feels like it inflates your lungs only halfway, Duck using the bottom half as a fucking ass cushion, and scaling the stairs takes another ten minutes – by the end of which, you’re slumped against the handrail, pausing before making off for your room.
You sink into the mattress, creasing the cool, smooth sheets. Duck stirs inside you, stretches out and throws a right hook against your bladder. You curse under your breath, hoisting yourself back to your feet.
“We gotta sleep, baby,” you hum, swaying back and forth with a hand under your belly. “Shh, ‘s okay. Take your fuckin’ fist outta my bladder, you little asshole.”
Whichever traits of yours and Joel’s have blended into the human cocktail growing in your uterus, you know one thing for certain: this kid has your stubbornness. The weight remains on your bladder, regardless of how much swaying, or pacing, or rubbing, or threatening you do.
You growl, wandering through the upper floor of your house in attempt to shift Duckie, or distract yourself, or, at the very least, tire the two of you out enough to fall asleep.
From the nursery door handle hangs a little wooden star, a tauntingly sleepy smile painted on it. You push the door open with two hesitant fingers, stepping into the still bedroom, the weak wash of streetlight meeting moonlight on the greenish walls.
You suck in a deep breath, floorboards squealing as you take your first step. Over the crib hangs a plastic mobile, soft plush shapes twirling slowly. The matching changing table slotted alongside it, a rocking chair over by the window.
You pad across a fluffy rug and lower yourself into the chair, tilting back and forth on your toes as you glance around one of the two rooms you and Joel have spent the most time in since that October morning bonded you forever. A baby duck ornament perched on a shelf above the dresser, its orange legs dangling. A multi-photo frame Joel’s mom bought you, both scans in the first two slots and the third empty, lying in wait.
Your breathing fragments, struggles, eyes slipping over to the baby clothes hanging in the closet. “You know, little Duckie,” you whisper, rubbing your bump and thinking back to Tommy’s words six months ago, “you are a pretty lucky kid.”
The hooded towel robe on the back of the door, the perfect size for a newborn. The framed prints sat atop the chest of drawers, waiting to be nailed to the wall: a rainbow, a frog, a starry sky.
“You got two houses. Two bedrooms, all to yourself. You got two parents who already love you more ‘n the whole world. And,” you gulp, “you got Vanessa. And she loves you, too.”
You glance down, watching the tiny pulse of movement when the baby stretches in your womb. Your hands scoop them up, as if holding them closer than they already are. As if already cradling them, forcing yourself to feel less alone.
Duck seems to quieten, to still; seems to consider what you’re avoiding. Reads between the lines, hears the words you’re not speaking.
Two of everything, you think, and I barely even had one.
The most evidence you have of being loved by anyone in your life is the house you live in. Four brick walls and three decades’ worth of belongings, more inheritance than memories. But they roll around like marbles – they echo against the walls when they hit them. There’s nothing binding them, no thread of love, or family, or anything real enough to hold it all together.
You’re the only living organ inside a skeleton’s cage. A lonely little heartbeat, making noise for no one to hear.
And that’s the way it has been, at least since you were eight. The absence of warmth and safety isn’t anything new to you – it left the second your parents did. The last scrunch of your mom’s nails on your head, the last kiss of her lips to your plump little cheeks. The passing over to your grandma, like you were cargo, like you were a box to be checked.
Maybe you found some distant flicker of heat in the way Joel looked at you, the day you told him you were pregnant. Maybe you saw the same glimmer of a flame that you used to see in your mom’s eye. The rosy smell of her perfume, the feel of her finger inside five of yours. Maybe, for the first time since you were a kid, you felt safe.
We’re gonna work it out, he said. I’m here. We’re in this together, alright? I am not running out on you.
Together. And yet, now, sat in your child’s nursery – a room built from scratch by Joel’s two hands and strung together by every beat of your heart – you’ve never felt more alone. The same two hands that are wrapped around Vanessa right now, consoling her, wiping her tears away, massaging her shoulders and sweeping her hair from her eyes.
And the same heartbeat which quickens now, fueled by an angry desire, an impulse scratching deep into your flesh to march all the damn way to Houston and tear the pair of them apart. Like he’s yours; like the way he touches you and looks at you and talks to you means anything more than his child growing inside you.
Like it’s you he’s touching and looking at and talking to, and not Duck. Like his attention won’t cease to shine on you, the second this little baby leaves your body.
And then, washing over the scorching hot sand of anger: a foam-lined wave of guilt. Of shame, for wishing for the breakdown of something that clearly makes the two of them happy. That makes Joel…happy.
He doesn’t owe you anything – he was never yours to begin with. Just one drunken night, a mistake until you noticed the two pale lines on the pregnancy test. And by that point, he was already hers again. You had missed him without even knowing it.
You sigh, pushing up from the rocking chair and reaching for a tissue from the changing table. Turning back, giving the room one last teary glance before closing the door, you sniff.
“You’re just…the luckiest little kid who’s ever gonna live.”
At one twenty a.m., cicadas chirping and trees rustling, the low breeze carrying the sounds through your half-open window – your back begins to ache. A blunt, gnawing pain. Feels like your period, and in your doze, you stuff a pillow between your legs and pray you don’t stain the sheets with a show of blood.
The realization comes over you as if that stifling breeze flips to freezing. You slowly come around, eyes peeling open as you think it over twice, then three times, then four. Duck shifts somewhere deep inside you, somewhere you’ve never felt them shift before.
“…No. Not right now, Duck. You gotta give me, like, twenty-four hours. Just – wait until your dad gets ho–”
A blinding pain interrupts you, the moonlit-blue room fading out of focus for half a second before you’re wide awake, clutching the bottom of your spine where you’re sure the kid just tore a fucking hole straight through your uterus.
“You’re a fucking dick,” you whimper, fingers clenching in tight fists around the bedsheets. “You’re a fucking – dick.”
One twenty-three. You go into labor.
#i think duckie is my favorite character i've ever written. that fetus has more personality than vanessa icl#joel miller#joel miller fic#joel miller smut#joel miller x reader#the last of us#tlou#macfrog#neighbor!joel#neighbor!joel miller#babydaddy!joel#tw pregnancy
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Team Player
Pairing: Step-mom! Wanda Maximoff x Coach! Natasha Romanoff x Fem! Reader
Warnings: Age gap (Legal), Step-mom/Step-daughter relationship, Coach/Player relationship, Cheating, Manipulation(??), Threesome, Mommy Kink (W), Degrading, Spitting, Cum play(??), Fingering, Oral, Dom/Dom/Sub dynamic, Natasha has a penis, Unprotected sex, Brief breeding kink, Face riding
A/n: Love this dynamic, very odd unusual pairing tho 😭
Word count: 1,568
Today was the day of your final game of your college teams basketball game. You anxiously waited around for your dad to show, knowing he’d probably not. He always had some excuse like being busy at work, or having made plans already.
That was never the case though, it was always the fact that he was just pure lazy and didn’t give two fucks about you and the stuff you did.
It hurt you, it hurt you badly. Your step mom, Wanda, on the other hand was amazing. Stepping up to take his place any moment she could. You honestly didn’t believe how the woman married that man, but little did you know she only stayed for you.
Wanda had developed a small crush on you, then it grew. Anytime she watched one of your games, she’d have an aching throb between her thighs. Watching your skilled body move around the court, the sweat dripping down your body. The tone in your voice as you yelled at your teammates, trying to get their attention. You truly were the mvp of the team, and everyone adored you.
As you stood around by the door waiting for him, one of your teammates informed you that your couch wanted you in the locker room. You huffed and began to walk away from the entrance, until the door flew open. You craned your head around and there stood Wanda.
“Oh my god Wanda you made it!” You yelped as your arms flew around her body, your taller figure towering her. “I couldn’t miss my favorite girls final game, now could I?” She chuckled, earning a giggling and smile from you.
“I’d walk you to the gymnasium, but coach wants me. Plus the game starts soon, so I’ll see you after?” You asked. “Why don’t I come with you? I have something I wanna try on you.” She hummed, to which you shuddered and nodded with confusion.
What could she possibly want to try, were your thoughts while you two walked to the locker room. Her hand resting on your back, almost too close to your ass.
Once the two of you reached the locker room, you guided her into where your coach was. “Coach Romanoff?” You asked, the older woman turning around. “Oh hello Y/n, I needed to discuss some things with you before the game. Who’s this?” Natasha pointed to Wanda.
“Oh this is Wanda, my step-mom.” Wanda extended her hand to Natasha. “Nice to meet you..?” Wanda paused, “Natasha.” She responded. Wanda nodded, “Nice to meet you Natasha.” Natasha nodded and took her hand, “Like wise.”
After a while of Natasha discussing game plans with you, Wanda’s hands rested on your shoulders. Massaging the tense muscles. “Detka, you’re so tense. What’s wrong?” She quipped, and you nervously eyed the two women. “I- just nervous I guess.”
You lied as well as you could, you knew it wasn’t believable thought. It was hard to hide the fact you had a massive crush on your step-mom, alone with your coach. You knew it was wrong, all so very wrong.
Natasha and you messed around a couple times, quickly shutting it down when you two were almost caught by one of your teammates. You didn’t know that Wanda knew though.
She had caught you texting her multiple times about non-basketball related things, but chose not to say anything. She did feel rather protective of you, which is why she insisted on coming with you to see Nat before the game.
Wanda hummed, then glanced up at Natasha. “I know that’s not the reason, it’s because your step-mom’s hands are rubbing across your muscles and your filthy coach keeps eyeing you. Such a dirty girl you are.”
A gasp escaped your lips, Natasha eyes painfully trained on Wanda. “What do you mean by that, Wanda?” She asked sternly, her teeth gritted.
“Oh don’t act like a fool, I know that you know you get Y/n here to whore herself out to you.” Another gasped came from you, Wanda’s fingers found your lips and pushed past them.
“Hush you little slut, don’t you act surprised either.” Whimpers escaped your lips, a groan erupted from Natasha. Wanda laughed darkly, her fingers toying with your mouth.
“Why don’t we help you out before the game? We can’t have you this tense before the game, it is the final after all.” Wanda suggested, and Natasha thought for a second before agreeing.
Wanda retracted her fingers from your mouth, earning a whine from you. Her hands slide down to the hem of your jersey, pulling it over your head followed by your bra.
Her long fingers tugged at your perky nipples, using your spit that lingered on her fingers to wet them. Wanda looked up at Natasha, “Don’t just stand there, get over here.” Natasha hurriedly walked over to the bench, sitting down next to you.
Her lips attach to your nipple, biting and sucking. As she did this, Wanda’s hands worked at your tense arms and shoulders. It drove you crazy having your step-mom standing behind you, while your coach was latched to your nipple.
Natasha’s hands wandered across your stomach, tracing your abs. Her hand then slipped past the hem of your basketball shorts, teasing your clit through your soaked panties. Her mouth left your tit, capturing your lips.
Her tongue tangled with yours, and you were so caught up in the kiss you hadn’t noticed Wanda moving to sit on the opposite side of you. Wanda watched the two of you as Nat pumped her fingers into your pussy, and your tongues dancing with one another. She also hadn’t failed to realize the prominent bulge in Nat’s pants.
She kneeled down in front of Natasha, unbuckling her belt and tugging her pants down. Wanda’s hand rubbed Natasha through her boxers, causing her to groan into your mouth.
Wanda pulled her boxers down, her cock springing free from its restraints. Wanda admired the woman’s size, her hands pumped at Natasha cock a few times. Her tip leaked with pre-cum.
Wanda’s lips wrapped around the coach’s cock, sheathing her cock down her throat. The sight of Wanda sucking off your coach quickened the arrival of your orgasm. Nat removed her hands from your panties, making a show of her cleaning them off. Even having Wanda lick your arousal off them.
“C’mon baby, come help mommy suck your coach’s cock.” Wanda suggested, as she grabbed your hand leading you to kneel in front of Natasha. Your tongue ran down Natasha’s dick, as so did Wanda’s.
You both took turns sucking her off, but Natasha was most fond of the way Wanda pumped the base of her cock and sucked her balls, while you sucked the tip of her cock.
With one final squeeze at the base of her cock, Natasha’s cum spurted into your mouth, you taking everything she gave. “Open your mouth, let me see her cum in your mouth.” Wanda demanded, so you stuck your tongue out. “Spit it into my mouth.”
You complied, trying your best to spit Nat’s cum into her mouth. Once you did, Wanda’s lips latched to yours. Your lips moved hungry against each other, cum dripping down both of your mouths.
Natasha pulled you to your feet, pulling off your pants and panties then, onto her lap. Giving you a searing kiss on the lips. Wanda took hold of Natasha’s cock, guiding it to your pussy. As you sunk down on Natasha, you whined at her size.
She began to bounce you on her cock, while Wanda took your hand and guided you to her pussy. Natasha lips suckled at your nipples, her fingers dug into your hips. You tried your best to finger Wanda as well as possible, but Nat’s erratic pace made all thoughts in your head disappear.
“M’ gonna breed this little pussy.” Natasha husked against your chest, throwing all abilities to think out the door. “Here, come eat mommy out while Natasha fucks you.” Wanda spoke up, aching for her own release.
Natasha helped you lay down, spreading her legs and shoving her cock back into you. Wanda straddled your face, her pussy hovered over your mouth. Your tongue flattened out past your lips, and Wanda began using your tongue to get off.
Wanda and Natasha shared a kiss as they both used you to get them own orgasms. Wanda furiously rode your face, while Natasha’s pace became unsteady. Her cock twitched, then her cum spilt from her cock. Yours and Wanda’s orgasms following quickly behind.
You lapped at Wanda’s pussy, drinking up all of her arousal. Nat pulled her cock out of you, your hole clenching around nothing. You whine at the empty feeling. “Hush baby, you gotta get out of here quickly. The game is about to start.” Natasha said.
Wanda quickly hopped of your face, then helped you collect your clothing and redress. She pressed a quick kiss on your lips. “You do good out there and I’ll reward you later on. Okay?” She whispered in your ear and you nodded, then she sent you on your way.
“What did you say to her?” Natasha asked as her eyebrow cocked. “Don’t worry about it coach, you better get out there too.” Wanda teased, and they both slipped back into their clothes.
Your team winded up winning the game, and Wanda kept her promise. Natasha also followed along.
Masterlist
#natasha romanoff#wanda maximoff#fanfic#marvel#natasha romanoff x reader#natasha x reader#natasha romanoff smut#wanda maximoff smut#wanda maximoff imagine#wanda maximoff fanfiction#wandanat#wanda fanfic#mommy wanda#natasha fanfic#natasha romanoff x reader smut#natasha romanoff imagine#natasha romanoff x you#marvel fanfiction#wandanat x reader#wandanat smut
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🗯️700 Days of you
SYNOPSIS: Part 2 for the infamous Bakugou texts
DISCLAIMER: Guys English isn't really my first language, though i understand it well i had my friend read over and give me feedback on what i should've changed and added I'm sorry if this is a let down but i tried really hard, i hope you guys enjoy any feedback is greatly appreciated, also I'm so sorry it took almost a week i kept scraping so many ideas sorry , ending was kinda rushed as well sorryyyy :((( <3
You've known Bakugou Katsuki for roughly 700 days, which is since you were 14. It's not like you knew him well, you just always saw him around your middle school, neighborhood, and at your parents' jobs. The first time you caught a glimpse of Bakugo was on the first day of middle school, the same year you would be leaving for high school. There wasn't anything special about that day, but what made you cherish that day was that he looked back at you as well.
The very first time you got to catch a glimpse of who Bakugou was as a person was through a school project. There aren't enough words in any dictionary to express your gratitude towards Aizawa for pairing you guys together. That day, you managed to get his number and meet up with him at a cafe. Looking back at that memory, you start to cry, not from sadness but embarrassment.
"Hey Bakugou, over here, I got some food for us," were the first words you had spoken to him directly. It seemed foolish to think about his response; would it be "Thank you so much, I love you, let's get married"? Not really. Maybe you had started reading too many romance mangas with Sero. "I don’t like anything that’s not spicy," he said bluntly, getting straight to the point. You would be lying if you said you weren't feeling as if he would explode any second.
"Oh, well, I can always ask for something else."
"There’s no need for that, let's just get started with the project."
"Oh, right. So, I was thinking..." As the afternoon soon turned into nighttime, you both had a pretty decent outline. Bakugou wasn’t bad, at least you didn’t think so. He was the type of person to get straight to the point of whatever he needed to communicate. Although he had trouble wrapping his head around the idea of teamwork, he was still there with you, giving you his views on your research and fixing the paper you had made.
When the night approached, you had both parted ways. That day, you could proudly say that Bakugou wasn’t as entitled as everyone made him out to be; he was smart. It came as a shock to you - getting used to his yelling was hard, but seeing him care for a school project and be somewhat smarter than you was even more surprising.
The second time you caught a glimpse of Bakugou was when you were at work. Not that you wished to be a stalker, but that's what it seemed like at the moment. As he walked through the door, both of you were stunned to see each other. Although you wished you could crawl into a hole and die in that moment, you still had to stay professional.
"Hello, welcome to Mitsumu’s Fashion headquarters. What can I help you with today?" This was the most embarrassing moment in your life. He just stood there staring at you before he spoke up, "Yeah, I’m just gonna go to my mom’s office. She told me to stop by to help her with a photoshoot." "Oh yeah. I’m supposed to be there. We can start the shoot in a few minutes. Just waiting for the next receptionist to clock in."
20 minutes went by, along with 20 minutes of your anxiety catching up to you, fearing what was to come. The shoot went by pretty smoothly in your opinion. Well, at least Bakugou posing in different outfits went well. The only thing that went south was when the other crew members whispered about you. It was as if you weren’t there.
‘She’s such a screw-up, why can’t they just fire her already i’m getting kind of annoyed having her around’ was a sentence that caught you in a trance, amongst the ‘ugh not her’ and the ‘she’s so weird’ hearing that sentence was enough to make you stop dead in your tracks.
Words hurt. They seemed to cut deeper with every passing day at work. But then you realized that perhaps not all words hurt equally. It was Bakugou who made you believe in that last sentence.
“You two over there near the lights, you’re not discreet at hiding your gossip, instead of focusing on a teenager at your grown age you should maybe focus on doing your job, see that light over there go fix it. It’s your job. She’s doing hers quite fine, Such shame the person you seem to talk about put you both in shame”
He looked at you, and you looked at him. In that moment you knew that deep down the angry Katsuki Bakugou everyone was so afraid of was a mask to hide how he felt. You realized at that moment that Bakugou wasn’t a bad person at all, he just had issues, just like everyone else, And part of you understood that it was okay that he did that. Because by the end of that day, you could say, Katsuki Bakugou was a kind person.
In your eyes, Katuski was the kindest person you could think of if you get to know him that is, and although kind isn’t a word people use when describing him, It was what you thought of him, and you certainly loved viewing him as such.
Katsuki Bakugou, who stayed sleepless nights with you in a cafe reading romance novels and hearing you rant about your favorite character
Katsuki Bakugou, who always glanced at you when sparring because you would cough more normally than what your drawbacks usually are
Katsuki Bakugou, who when you have no money pays for your food and orders more to disguise it as an eating competition saying he would win and ends up giving you his food because he claimed he didn’t like it, even though it’s his favorite
Katsuki Bakugou, Who hated physical touch but would let you cling to him whenever you got excited, scared, or sometimes needed a shoulder to cry on
Katsuki Bakugou, Who isn’t good at comforting people but tries to show support in different ways and when he’s cornered for being soft will always reply with ‘I’m just telling the truth’
That was the Bakugou you knew, or at least you thought you did. But you couldn’t recognize who stood in front of you.
Bakugo Katsuki, who now stood in front of you saying words you wish you could cancel out “We were never friends, I only let you stick around out of pity”. Maybe this was the kind of person you tried seeing in someone. But not everything goes how we want it to go, do we? In the end, it was you seeking comfort in someone else when they probably didn’t want you around.
Maybe 700 days of thinking you knew Bakugou were probably reduced to 1, the one being today. You had concluded the person you once thought was kind was just a character you decided to make in your head.
“What’s up with you, you looked like you got run over” How you wish you could smack your best friend right now, “Shindo you think you’re so funny, could you at least pretend to care, you assface” Yo Shindo, the only person you could say has seen through you, not just physically but emotionally as well.
Shindo just never seemed to leave you alone, having met you at recess one random day in kindergarten. He had spotted you and just followed you around wherever you went. You hit him multiple times with rocks hoping he would leave you alone “You can’t keep hitting me with rocks that’s mean, and I’m older than you” were the first words he had told you.
“I don’t care if you’re older just leave me alone” “No” “ Why not” “Because” “Because?” “Just Because” From that day on Yo Shindo followed you everywhere and you listened to whatever he had to say. At this moment, you wish you had thrown a tree trunk at him when you were younger.
“Get up let’s go get ice cream, you’re even making ME depressed, I don’t know what happened at UA, you don’t have to talk about it just come with me to get ice cream”
“How did you get in my house in the first place”
“I broke in”
“You’re lying, no you didn’t Yo”
“I’m kidding your mom let me in”
Hanging out with Shindo was always a way to decompress however you felt in situations. Being separated from Shindo at the start of High School was always hard to get used to. Not having him come visit you during lunch always felt so strange to you, half of your life seeing him come to your door with two bento boxes just disappear into thin air, leaving you lonely almost every day.
“Shindo is there any way I could transfer to Shiketsu”
“Not that I know of, why?”
“At school, there was this guy I started getting close with, I liked him a lot. Maybe as friends, as more, I can't tell my feelings apart but I know one thing. We started getting closer and getting to know each other, I thought he was a great guy, he would do things that just made me feel loved, not necessarily romantically loved but I felt seen with him”
“It was that comfortable feeling I get when I'm with you. If that makes sense, I thought he felt the same way since he also opened up to me. He texted me yesterday saying he didn’t want to be friends with me anymore, I thought it was a joke Shindo, i even went to the company to look for answers, I found him in the middle of a shoot and I was hoping he would tell me it was a joke but in the end, he told me‘ We were never friends, I only let you stick around out of pity’.” That sentence alone was enough to let Shindo know how you were feeling and as if on instinct he was quick to hold you against his chest as you explained how you felt
“It’s stupid to think he would feel something about me, I feel stupid Shindo I loved him a lot. Whenever I was with him I felt seen, those moments with him made me feel that someone other than you loved me, I feel so stupid, I’m so stupid to think that the boy I fell in love with never existed, it was all just what I wanted to believe Shindo”
“He never cared for me”
It had been weeks since you told Shindo about what happened. Things weren't going great, but they had taken a turn for the better. After school, Shindo would pick you up and bring snacks. Sometimes, he would take you to the library after school.
Your occasional hangouts became more frequent, and Shindo started dropping you off at school in the mornings in addition to picking you up. You began to notice a positive change in yourself, and you were proud to say that you were feeling a lot better. You weren't the only one who noticed this shift; your classmates noticed it too.
"Y/N, you seem happier, especially since that guy started dropping you off and picking you up. Are you guys dating?" Mina was quick to ask you as you showed up to class one day.
"You mean Shindo? Oh, we’re just childhood friends. He started helping me train and with my school work," you replied.
"You guys are always together. It’s almost impossible to hang out without you having plans with him," Midoriya added.
"Sorry, guys. We’ve just been catching up," you tried to clear up any rumors that might have caused any miscommunication.
Everyone had their eyes on you, watching as you spoke so highly about your 'best friend'. Especially Katsuki; he watched as you smiled, recalling all of your memories with him.
It left a sour taste in his mouth watching as you talked highly about someone else. He was never one to express his emotions well, but with you, it felt easy to try and express how he felt. He knew from the moment he stayed up with you in a library reading ‘A Silent Voice’ that he was developing feelings for you.
He was never one to indulge in emotions, but having those deep talks with you every night made him feel dumb for trying to deny his feelings.
He never confronted his emotions straight away, no matter how much Katsuki tried to adjust; he just couldn’t accept the fact that he was growing in love with you. 'Falling in love' seemed like a terrible way to describe their way of loving someone else. But again, who is he to construe about love?
Not that he purposely wished for it to be that way. Katsuki wanted nothing more than to have done things differently back then.
As time passed, he couldn't get the image of you crying out of his mind. It pained him to see you that way. It wasn't just because he liked you, but also because he knew he was the cause of your sadness. The guilt consumed him, and the thought of you moving on only added to his pain. He couldn't help but feel like a fool for what he had done to you.
Katsuki was familiar with you. He knew about your favorite romance manga, your parents' connection to his, your love for fashion, your passion for romantic comedies, your favorite subject, and your usual order at the café where you both spent countless nights. He knew you well.
Katsuki knew all your fears - spiders, carnivals, clowns, open spaces, failure, and his mom when she yelled at your co-workers. He noticed all your symptoms and sometimes felt like both of your hearts were connected. He felt crazy saying it out loud, but those moments when you both trained together, you suddenly felt everything he could think of - dizziness, nausea, chest pain, shaking, and trembling. One thing that always stuck with him was whenever you felt anxious, you would bite your fingernails. Once, he took your hands and tried to stop you from doing that, and he noticed how quickly your heartbeat calmed down and started matching his instead.
"If anyone asked him why he was so in tune with knowing you on a general level, he would say out of courtesy. But if he was asked on a deeper level, he would say his heart was calm whenever you were with him, and he yearned for that feeling and you."
He always heard from his mom that love is the most powerful thing someone can experience, in friendships, relationships, or just emotional connections with someone. He believed the majority of what his mom claimed with thoughts of his own. Love is strong, but is it strong enough to make a person?
Certainly not he thought to himself as he watched you and Shindo laugh and push each other at the carnival.
He was tired of pretending he didn’t love you, but he was also tired of not knowing how to talk to you after developing feelings for you. He messed things up, and he knows it.
It hurts to be something he so desperately wish he wasn’t, a uncommunicative person, but it hurts more than anything being nothing without you
You were gone, no one knew where you had gone they just knew you weren’t at your dorm
The only things left behind were boxes of letters and a blanket he had got you when you were sick. Everyone was distressed, teachers all around the dorms most reassuring students others talking with Nezu on finding out where you were
And all katsuki could do was hope he wouldn’t rip the letter you had wrote to him through his tears and frustration from how tight he held the letter to his heart, hoping some way you could feel how his heart was beating and in hopes of you coming back
Katsuki
Tho the smartest yet dumbest person i know,
If you’re reading this it probably means i left, well kidnapped in other terms, i’ve known for a while i would be taken, i had a gut feeling about this a long time ago so just in case i die, or don’t make it back alive i wanted to write something for you.
There’s so many things i wish i would’ve told you before i left, but sometimes not everything goes the way we wish for them to go, I Know you Bakugou, you’re probably mad i left, or you’re probably pretending to not care, maybe even wondering where i am, if you still care that is, you’ve always been the type of person to think about things too often.
That’s not the real reason i’m writing this letter for you, there’s so much i want to say but i’m afraid there won’t be enough time to do so, so i’ll say it in this letter
Katsuki Bakugou, I am in love with you, i have been from the 700 days of knowing you, but words aren’t enough to describe how i feel, i left a box under your bed, every reason why i fell in love with you is written in all of them. If i do end up being alive i want to say it to your face
But if i am dead, i want you to know you’re the first person i’ve ever truly loved in this life and hopefully i can love you the same way in my next one
And with that i ask one last thing from you, you’re a person who hates changes but please, if anything does end up going wrong i want you to pursue your dreams for bring number one, i’ll always be cheering you on
So for now this is my last goodbye Katsuki, Thank you for making me feel so at home, i still
think about what happened between us everyday but i hope the best for you in life, even if i’m not there
I love you, thank you for being my friend
Y/N
You were such a dumbass. How could he not love you, when you constantly ran through his mind, he tried to keep his emotions in touch but just as he opened the box you left him he was met with notes and items that reminded him of you. What hurt him even more was reading through all the notes you had wrote for him
One particular note had shifted his emotions complete
‘Hey katsuki, remember that time i kept freaking out over my school grades and you comforted me saying it would all be okay? I still think about that moment and how you held me close to your chest and we layed in bed, in that moment when i looked up at you i saw the reflection of my LED lights in your face and all i could think about was you, i wanted to kiss at that moment from how pretty your eyes looked’
In that moment Bakugo Katsuki knew that what he felt for you wasn’t some simple puppy crush, he craved you he knew that whatever he tried convincing himself wasn’t true at the moment
Not when he was clutching your hairpins and notes close to his chest wishing the burning sensation in his heart would stop
Weeks had gone by, You had been found by the pro heroes and all he could think about was how he wishes he was the one saving you instead. But atlas he was glad you were safe
When he had gotten word you were found but your condition was critical he wanted nothing more than to just run out of the dorms and find you, but he knew he would’ve been stopped by the teacher. So he waited, he visited the hospital you were staying at everyday, constantly asking when they would be taking visitors
Everyday he was met with the same answer ‘no’ ‘not yet we’ll let you know when she’s ready’. It was killing him not knowing whether he would get the chance to clear up his mistakes and confess to you.
But all of those thoughts suddenly vanished as he waited for the nurses to let him in
You had no memory whatsoever on when you had been rescued, according to the nurses you had woken up 6 days after being rescued by the heroes, and according to one of the nurses there was a boy who constantly kept looking for you, surely it was Shindo, the nurses had said they would bring him to your room
Shock wasn’t enough to describe how you were feeling at the moment, Staring at the guy you least expected in front of you was surely not on your bucket list at all, you were going to speak first until he beat you to it
“I have a lot to say to you so just listen to what i have to say first”
“Back then, i didn’t really know how to deal with the sudden shift in my heart, watching you smile and do things we would normally do, felt so different one random day, I don’t know when it started but watching the way your eyes would shine made my heart tighten, i knew that whatever was happening to my emotions wouldn’t go well on my part”
“So i distanced myself, i never meant any of the words i said at all, i was a asshole for saying that to you, i’m not expecting forgiveness straight away, but watching you get so close to someone else made me feel uneasy, not in a possessive way, but in a way that makes me remember everything you were doing with him you had done all of that with me”
“And when i realized my feelings and had everything sorted out, i was waiting to confront you but i waited too long and you had been kidnapped, When i read your letter i knew that if i were to get you back i would tell you as soon as i could, i didn’t wanna risk you leaving without hearing what i have to say”
“I’m in love with you, I grew in love with you and your stupid smile, your stupid rants, I love you like i’ve never loved anyone before. You’re the only person that has made me smile and I yearn for that feeling and I crave you most importantly. Before i met you i didn’t understand the true meaning of what love is but being with you made me realize it’s okay to not have everything figured out and just enjoy the present” he had finished off
“You’re an asshole”
“I know that”
“You made me cry”
“I know that”
“But at the end of the day it’s you i would rather spend all the time with arguing and clearing every mistake with katsuki, I love you and i hope we can both learn more about each other”
Though he didn’t kiss you in that moment he did pull you in a hug that warms your heart. Every day you’re thankful you got to know Katsuki 700 days of knowing him made your heart warm at the thought of getting to say you had feelings for Katsuki. Things would certainly be tough from that moment on but if it was with Katsuki it was definitely worth it in your eyes.
A/N: That letter part was heavily ib the galaxy is endless on ao3 ugh i love it sm
Taglist @makaylaislovely @emmab3mma @probablylia0 @socialkid @captainshindo @yourfriendlyweeaboo @st4rf0rlife @juliii @b2mmyy @sangwooswife @sunnydaychai @peyingbills @lemon-lav @tsumuus @itzjustj-1000 @whosmarjj @lovra974 @yourmajestyqueena @scarasw1f3 @tranquilcosmos @antriimx @siraxealot
#bakugo x reader#mha x reader#bnha x reader#mha fluff#my hero academia#anime#boku no hero academia#bakugo x you#bakugo katuski#bakugo katuski x reader#anime x reader#mha fanfiction#bnha fanfiction#✎ MASTERLIST#✎MAYON3SA#female reader#bakugou angst#bakugou x reader#anime angst#mha angst#bnha angst#bnha x you#mha x you
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In Plan sight 3
p1 p2
Tim has no idea why Jason texted him.
Jason took the rest of the week off after he texted him so it can't be anything good. Tim landed on the fire escape and pulled himself through the window. Jason was sitting on the couch on the side farthest from the window. he was reading but when he noticed Tim he put the book down beside him.
“ What do you need Jason? I really just want to go to bed.” Tim was tired; he just wanted to take a long hot shower and slip into one of his oversized hoodies.
“ Are you actually wanting to go to bed or are you going to try for 10 minutes and then go back to the casework?” Jason said like he knew the answer already.
“no need to call me out.” Tim whined
“ You need to sit down.”
Jason motioned to the couch beside him.
“I'm not going to fall over on my feet.” Tim replied as he took off his mask and utility belt.
“ yeah well what I'm about to tell you I think you need to sit down.” Jason patted the seat beside him to get his point across.
“Did someone die?”
“ No one died, actually quite the opposite.”
“What does that mean?” Tim reluctantly sat down and waved his hand as if to motion to get this over with.
“ So two days ago I woke up with a kid in my safe house and didn't really think anything of it until later when she came out to me asking me to save for Mom.”
“ I do not like where this is going. Is the mom okay?”
“I have no idea. I'm hoping you have a lead for me.” Tim thought that was weird as Jason hates when people try and help with his case.
“ Are you asking for my help? “
“no but I'll get to that. I look up the birth certificate and it goes to a woman that doesn't exist so obviously this is going to be hard.”
“still not getting what you need me here for if you don't want me to join the case.” If Jason needed help looking for someone he usually goes to Barbara and Tim knows she isn't busy.
“you're probably going to want to join the case but for now,”Jason throws his hands up to point at Tim and makes it zipping motion in front of his lips ”shut up.”
“ okay okay”
“As I was saying I couldn't really find anything so I obviously do a DNA test to guess who's DNA pops up.”
“ Is it someone I know?” Tim tries to think of any one that can cause this reaction.
“yeah you.”
“What.”
#dpxdc#dc x dp#dp x dc#danny phantom#danny fenton#batman#dc x dp crossover#batfam#batfamily#dcxdp#dead tired
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Mama Bat 9: Dinner Out
masterpost
After her promise, the bats were a whirlwind of activity. He didn’t know where Uncle D or Alfred went, but Cass and Bruce gently bustled him across the house to plan his ecto dinner like it was an attack on an enemy base.
“I think it was around here,” Danny said uncertainly over the map in Bruce’s study. “I don’t know the names of any of these places. But there was this abandoned-looking theme park that had a lot of what I need.”
He didn’t have to be the world’s smartest ghost to recognize that there was a lot of tension in the air after he said that. That tracked. There were not many pleasant ways for a place in the human realm to accumulate a glut of deathly energy.
“That makes sense,” Bruce said. “Cass, honey, do you think we should ask Dick and Jason?” He folded the map back up along the same lines as before without even looking. Danny wondered at why he had that muscle memory. Did he fold everything in the same pattern?
“Big visible muscle,” Cass agreed. Her phone appeared out of nearly nowhere. “Danny.”
He stood up even straighter.
“Is Amity dangerous?” She pinned him in a look, her soft brown eyes arresting. “Dangerous to Jasmine Fenton?”
“Jazz,” he corrected automatically. Cass nodded. He rolled his ankles around, stimming below their line of sight. “Uh.” Danny faltered. “Um.” He bit his lower lip and tried to feel less like there was a painful hand around his heart.
He hadn’t thought so. But he would never have thought that he and Vlad were in serious danger, either. Now that the GIW and Mom and Dad knew… They would know who to ask for more information.
His parents would never push his friends or Jazz too hard. But the idea of the GIW trying to intimidate his friends and family was almost too upsetting to consider.
“Batdad extracts them?” Cass cocked her head at him to make it even more of a question. It was up to him. Was it a good idea?
Danny licked his lips. His mouth was so dry. He struggled for words. “Maybe.” One shaky inhalation. “If, um.” It sounded like someone else’s voice. It couldn’t be him saying that right now. “If it wouldn’t be too obtrusive… I don’t want to extract them and then, like, they can’t go back if they wanna.”
“We can handle that.” Bruce made eye contact to promise. He looked, Danny thought, like a more responsible, boring version of Jack Fenton. His eyes burned.
“That would be, uh. Cool.” Danny managed to get that out and avert his eyes, but he felt like everyone could see that he was about to cry.
Whatever. He leaned to the left before he consciously knew that Cass was lifting an arm to put over his shoulder. It slotted in place like they’d done it a billion times. Danny tilted his head towards the nails she gently scratched through his hair.
“Batdad, Damibat, Timbird, Stephanie,” Cass listed easily. “Amity.” She jostled Danny a little. “And we get dinner. You only need me. I’m the best. But we bring boys too, Dickbird and Jason.” She blew a raspberry.
Bruce looked exhausted and fond. “She is the best,” he agreed. Danny watched their interplay like it was a pingpong match. “I think you ought to go tonight to get something to eat. Would you recommend that we contact Jazz and your friends in the daytime, or should we leave as soon as possible?”
…They all had school in the day. Even Jazz was still in high school. Danny eyed Bruce doubtfully. He did know about school, right? “Night is probably better.”
“I’ll make a few calls.” Bruce sat back and seemed to flip a switch into planning mode.
“Text!” Cass said, disagreeing strongly. She rolled her eyes, but it wasn’t too mean. “Grandfather Bat.”
“Oh!” Danny startled. “Um, I should contact Sam and Tucker. So that they know to expect you.”
Bruce balked. “We don't normally contact civilians about ongoing investigations…” He looked constipated about it.
Danny crossed his arms. He wanted to think it was stubbornness more than self comfort. “You're not going to like, creep up on my friends. If they want to go, they need some time to get ready.”
“Preparing could give away the plan to observers.”
“Is Amity Park Batman's domicile?” Cass asked archly. “Batdad.” She put both her hands on his desk and leaned forward to give her father an unimpressed look. “Mayor of Amity Park?”
Bruce snorted and then covered his mouth guiltily. “Point taken.” He cleared his throat, trying to retain some dignity. “Danny, do you need help to contact your friends?”
He shrugged. “Just a computer.” Danny fiddled with the strings on his hoodie. Tucker's hoodie. “I know you gave me a phone, but we thought -”
“That communications might be intercepted,” Bruce said, nodding as if that kind of paranoia was commonplace. “It's the first thing I would do if I expected a person of interest to contact a friend. What's your workaround?”
Danny bit his lip. It sounded stupid when he said it aloud.
Ten minutes later, Damian joined Cass in her perch on the back of the sofa and watched with morbid curiosity as Danny joined Doomed chatroom after chatroom, scanning for Sam's username. “She’ll leave it running whenever she's home in case I ping her,” Danny defended weakly. He left another chatroom.
Damian hummed, two pitches that came off incredibly doubtful. He had a gift for that.
“No, really, this- yes!” Danny pumped a fist and sent a HEY ITS YA BOI message.
It took seconds for Sam to get to it and add his temporary account as a friend. She sent a DM before he could and then ignored his response to start a voice chat.
Once he'd confirmed to her satisfaction that he was himself and that he hadn't gotten any deader in Gotham, he passed on the information that the friggin Batman was going to stop by Amity and wanted to check in. “But don’t worry, he’s kinda cool,” Danny added. “I gotta go. I am starving.”
Sam said all the rude words that she knew in quick succession. Damian looked sort of impressed. “Fine,” she said, obviously annoyed about it. “I’ll meet with Batman, but only because I hate the GIW more.”
“You hate Batman?” Damian asked. It was hard to tell from his tone if he had any feelings about that.
“That’s Damian,” Danny introduced. “He’s cool.”
“Hey,” Sam said shortly. “Yeah, he’s basically a cop. You have a problem with that?” Her voice went a little too aggressive.
“Just so you know, Damian is a child,” Danny said warily.
Sam scoffed. “You said he’s cool. I respect him enough to fight him if he’s wrong.”
“Batman may be improved by your feedback,” Damian said idly, as if he wasn’t making trouble for his father on purpose. “You should be certain to give it to him as soon as you see him. Do you have time to prepare a presentation?”
Danny sniggered into his hand.
“I can reuse the posterboard from Current Events class, yeah.” Sam mused. “Good idea. Alright, thanks for the heads up. It’s really good to hear from you. We were starting to get worried here. You missed a check in, you know.” She was trying to sound tough, but there was a hint of strain.
Danny flushed. “Yeah, I had logistical difficulties,” he said, which sounded less pathetic than “I got robbed while I was sleeping outside and had no money to use to access a computer.”
He ignored the thoughtful look he knew he was getting from Cass and signed off. He avoided making eye contact with anyone as he stretched, hands over his head. Then Danny put his hands on his hips and kind of stretched by rotating his back around. “Well, that’s done. Have fun with Sam, Uncle D.”
Damian made a hum in the back of his throat, eyes lost in thought. “I think I will.” Then he stalked away without a proper goodbye. Just a big housecat, that kid.
“Do you think Jason and Dick will be here soon?” Don’t ask, don’t ask, Danny silently hoped.
Cass looked at him for a long moment, silently weighing options and odds behind her dark eyes. Then she nodded. She turned on her heel and left, obviously expecting him to follow.
Danny jogged to keep up. How did she move so fast without running? She had short legs, too. He was still busy pondering when they rounded a hallway corner and heard male voices from the entryway.
“Wait.” Cass shoved him the last step with a gentle palm press to the shoulder and then flitted back down the hallway.
“Hey, buddy,” Dick said.
Danny managed a nod in return. He stuffed his hands into his hoodie pocket and tried not to look like he was hiding.
Jason all but oozed reassurance at him, without ever looking at him. As far as the eye could tell, the blonde was barely aware that Danny was present. But under the surface of his skin, his masses of ectoplasm were roiling with a sort of proprietary indulgence.
It was a kindness, probably, that the two men continued their conversation as if they were still alone. Danny didn’t really pay attention, thoughts consumed with a mixture of nerves about his worlds colliding and sobbing relief that he might get really, genuinely full for the first time since he had to run away from Amity Park. He edged a little closer to Jason without thinking about it consciously.
Cass arrived silently. Danny looked up as she entered the room only because he could sense her steady presence. “Time to go,” he said.
Jason startled with a very small jump. His expression instantly changed to exhausted resignation.
“Haha,” Cass said, pointing at him.
“Poor scared little guy,” Dick cooed. “You can’t sneak up on him like that.”
“Too scary,” Cass said, nowhere near as convincing as Dick at empathy.
Jason scowled. “Shut up,” he complained. He zipped up his jacket and yanked the door open. The sound of early crickets immediately cut into the house along with a fresh, cool breeze. “You both suck.”
Danny felt a faint smile pull at his face. He ducked his head and fell in, following at Jason’s heels. He didn’t look back to see who shut the door.
Dick drove them all. They parked a few blocks away and made it across the barren, creepy fairgrounds in utter silence. Danny followed his instincts and the source that he’d sensed from kilometers away in the city center but had been too worn down to even try to trek to without at least feeding his human body.
“So, what now?” Dick turned a cautious circle. “I didn’t exactly expect to see a physical object for you to eat, but I did sort of expect something.”
Danny made a face. “If I had the right tech I could filter and extract it out of the air, condense it into a really dense, liquid form. But, uh.” He turned a little to the side to avoid eye contact and hunched into his hoodie. “I sort of need to just hang out and…filter feed.” He grimaced. He sounded like a dumb fish.
“Inefficient,” Cass observed.
He nodded. “Yeah, but I’m really drained, so I need to be around a high concentration to get a jumpstart. If I needed less, I could probably just…” Danny made a circle gesture and sort of pointed at Jason. “Hang around him, I guess.”
Cass hummed in the back of her throat. “Perimeter.” Then she ran directly at a wall and hefted herself up onto the roof of the derelict funhouse. She was out of sight in seconds, which was impressive athleticism. Danny watched her go with raised eyebrows.
Dick huffed and shuffled even closer to Jason, clearly wary of Cass. “You can’t be the favorite uncle,” he lamented. “That should be me.” Danny choked down a laugh and pretended to be very busy filter feeding.
“You’re just crabby because you aren’t full of delicious ghost juice,” Jason muttered into Dick’s ear at a volume that he clearly thought Danny wouldn’t hear. The banter didn’t stop him from making periodic glances around the area. He caught an elbow to the gut from Dick for the comment and the inattention. Danny took a step further away from jabbing range.
“We aren’t here to hear you brag about how juicy you are,” Dick said out of the side of his mouth.
EW. But Danny felt smug satisfaction in Jason’s aura at that answer, so apparently it wasn’t as nasty sounding to him as it was to Danny. He made a blegh face, scraping his tongue against his teeth.
‘Maybe I should tell them at some point that I have better than human hearing.’ He pointedly wandered a few steps further away and pretended to be occupied with sniffing out the highest concentration of ectoplasm.
Jason grinned unpleasantly. “No, I usually have that conversation with all of your exes- oof.” Jason bent over and tried to breathe through the hit to his diaphragm.
Danny did his best to ignore the commentary from the peanut gallery. He took deep breaths and tried to keep an eye on all the shadows.
Amusement Mile wasn’t saturated with high quality ectoplasm like Amity Park, but nothing ever should be. Danny licked his lips and tried to stay alert. There could be any number of distressed or territorial dead around a place like this. It was eerily still.
“This place is just plain creepy.” Danny hid a shudder. “What happened here?”
Jason huffed a laugh with absolutely no joy in it. “It’s more like what keeps happening here.” Danny glanced over at just the right angle to realize that Jason had a gun in his pocket. Holy shit. A gun. His eyes went wide.
“But nothing should happen tonight,” Dick cut in. His eyes looked tight and tense in a way that his breezy tone didn’t hint at. “The person who likes to use this area as a staging ground is currently in lockup. We double checked before we came out here.”
All three of them tensed when Cass jumped back down off the same building she’d climbed earlier. “Suspicious,” she said flatly.
Dick and Jason instantly lost their facades of ease. Danny realized, a bit late, that this place was really fucking concerning even to the living. “What’s wrong?” Dick snapped out. His posture changed and somehow his shoulders looked broader. Alarmed, Danny glanced between the adults.
“Someone was here.” Cass held up a very familiar piece of tech. “Inside vent.”
Danny felt the blood drain out of his face. Cass zeroed in on the expression. “GIW,” he said. “Uh, that measures… that senses ghosts.” He licked his lips. “I think we should go.”
“Are you- are you going to be hungry?” Jason’s brow furrowed fiercely. “You think they might have an alert that you came out here?”
“We are more capable than we look.” Dick promised. And his serious voice was pretty reassuring, actually, all things considered. But Danny still felt like he was going to be sick.
Tires screeched. It was too late to get out of here.
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Boyfriend turned Step-Bro Rafe Cameron x Reader
SERIES MASTERLIST
Summary: You've been dating Rafe Cameron for 3 years, and one day Ward and your mom tell you they're getting married.
This is a snippet of a fic I'm going to see if I want to continue writing. Please let me know if you'd like it to be continued.
I'm not diving too deep on details or character traits in this, as it's just a blurb/idea for a full fic.
Trigger warnings: stepcest, underage, drugs, pregnancy
----
The Rafe Cameron who became your boyfriend when you were sixteen years old was not the Rafe Cameron who people referred to your step-brother at eighteen.
The complete opposite, really.
Your parents separated when you were in your sophomore year of high school, your dad moving across the country to California when he met his mistress on a business trip while you and your mom kept a tidy home. The affair nearly killed your mom, and she learned to lean on none other than your boyfriends dad.
Ward was the perfect fill-in for your mom for a while. She was just having a good time, she'd told you. "He occupies my mind Y/N, does that make me such a bad mom?" Like you being upset with your mother being however which way involved with your boyfriends dad was so out-of-this-world believable. Truth was, yes it made her a bad mom. Not just because it put you and Rafe in an uncomfortable position, but because you were struggling yourself after having your family as you knew it blown apart.
But she wasn't just "having a good time." Or rather, maybe she was having too good a time. Because on a Thursday evening at the Cameron's dinner table that you all had gathered for, Ward held your moms hand and told you all that they were getting married.
That day, your world fell apart, and Rafe started to become someone you soon would not recognize. Rafe's hand slipped from your thigh, gone the tender loving warm fingertips, drawing lazy hearts on your skin.
You looked over at Rafe before doing or saying anything to anyone else, and his eyes were higher than yours, connecting with his father's in an expression you could only imagine was pure hatred. Because Rafe could never live up to his father in any sense, and now he was taking away the one thing that kept his feet planted to the earth. Of course he was. You flinched when Rafe's chair scraped like nails on the tile flooring, as he darted from the table outside to his truck, leaving you to pick up the pieces. How badly you'd wanted to chase after him. But when your eyes connected with Ward's, the decision made for you.
You didn't even need to ask.
"Unless you want to live with your father in California, you and Rafe will stop whatever it is you two have going on." Ward had told you.
You looked to your mom as if she'd help you - feel some semblance of remorse for you. You'd met Rafe first. Three years ago. You'd been the only reason your mother even met Ward. But why should you be so surprised that what she wanted was more important than your happiness?
From that day, Rafe started slowly slipping from you. A hollow shell of the boy you loved so deeply and painfully. He'd drink himself to sleep every Friday and Saturday night, breathe cocaine on the other nights, and wave you off when you tried to ask him to slow down.
"Y/N, you want me to stop? To make you happy? What do you do anymore that makes me happy?" You'd touch his cheek and guide his head down to make his eyes meet yours, and you'd stare into them - hoping for a shimmer of your boyfriend to snap back and remember.
He'd shrug away from you, his hand brushing you off and leave you watching his back as he'd resume slowly killing not only himself, but you too. But his coldness didn't stop him from sneaking into your room past midnight to have sex with you. Not that you wish he'd stop, because you so badly craved his touch, eager for it any way he'd offer it. Mean, rough, kind, tender; you'd take any of him just to feel connected.
So when you'd texted Rafe to meet you in your room after dinner on Thursday night nearly one year after your world truly blew apart, hoping you'd get to him before the white powder did, he locked the door behind him and the black in his eyes told you he'd already gotten his fix. But your small hand came up to his chest as he approached you, seated cross legged on your pink floral bed spread, clutching the stick in your other hand. You looked up at him and when you locked eyes, he understood, because he took your hand from his chest and squeezed it in his own before leaning down to touch his lips to yours.
"I miss you, baby. My beautiful girl."
His breath was hot against your mouth, his scent so familiar and home to you. You couldn't stop the tears from falling from your eyes, your hand loosening from his hand to hold onto his forearm that connected to the fingers clutching your jaw tenderly but firmly in place, kissing you like he loved you again.
How badly you missed him, too.
"Rafe, please..."
Your hand falls and his breaks from your jaw, and you take this moment to capture his hand with your fingers and place the stick into his palm. His eyes break away from yours to look down at what you've given him, and you watch with tears streaming down your face as his brows furrow, his feet shuffling to back up and you brace yourself.
He doesn't do what you expect him to do, though. He stares so deeply down into his palm that when his eyes do reconnect with yours, confusion in his own eyes, his head tilting just the slightest and you're trembling, waiting for the shoe to drop.
"This...this is a -- you're..." His eyes screw up shut and he shakes his head like he's imagining things and he's crazy. "A baby?" He finally asks, looking up at you again and you can only nod.
"My baby?" He asks again, and you nearly scoff, because really? Was he kidding? Who else was sneaking into your room after midnight, invading your body and your thoughts?
"Yes, Rafe, I'm pregnant with your baby." You tell him, standing and he's still shaking his head, eyes bunching up as if he's being told the craziest thing in the world - because really, he is. But you've sat with this for the entire day and while your reaction wasn't as confused, you too felt the familiar disbelief.
You watch his chest rise and fall, deep breaths in and out before you're in a whirlwind and he closes the distance between you and pulls you to him, tucking your head underneath his chin, the back of your skull rested protectively in his large palm. His lips are at your forehead when he tells you
"I'm going to take care of it. They're not keeping me from my kid."
----
AH, what do you think? My ask box is open for feedback. Please feel free to use it to ask for what you'd like to see from this fic!
#rafe cameron pregnant#Rafe cameron x reader#rafe cameron x you#rafe cameron#drew starkey#drew Starkey x reader#stepbrother!rafe#angst#rafe cameron angst
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FIC IDEA WITH LANDO: So reader recently moved to Monaco bc of her job (any remote job u want and content creater) anyways she is working at a café just to get some money and lando is a customer. He flirts with her and stuff and she writes her number on the cup without him noticing at the moment. The reader then like a week later mentions it to her friend and talks about how he did not respond yet and like what exactly happened not knowing her friend was on live and her fans get invested and call this mystery boy “café boy” (kind of like Alix Earle with nfl man) Then McLaren invites the reader to the paddock and lando sees her and then have like a talk together in his drivers room and he mentions how he was nervous to text or something. After she makes a soft launch post captioned “my café boy 🤎”. IF U DO IT PLEASE TAG ME!
my coffee boy | l.n.
a/n: thank you so much @idkyet101sblog for the amazing idea 🤎
my masterlist
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📍Monte-Carlo, Monaco
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user1 mother is finally living her dream 😭
francisca.cgomes yayy!!!!!❤️❤️
yourusername ❤️❤️
yourbestfriend can’t believe you left me behind 🥲 JK I’M SO HAPPY FOR YOU ❤️❤️
yourusername i miss you already 😭😭❤️
user2 who is she?
user3 she’s a content creator and up-and-coming model🫶🏻 she makes a lot of F1 content since she is very good friends with Kika
user2 how come i’ve never heard of her until now?
user4 she’s only starting to become famous and accustomed to the public eye, maybe that’s why
yourmother so proud of you!!❤️❤️
yourusername love you mom!!!!
user5 if i don't grow up to be just like Y/N, i'm giving up
Real life
Moving to Monaco had always been your dream. Living in the beautiful country right on the water, starting a new life in such a peaceful place and being able to follow your dreams.
It had been your dream ever since you were a little girl.
However, moving to Monaco was in itself very pricey. It hadn’t been easy, gathering the money you needed to lead a relatively comfortable lifestyle in the exclusivist country, but you had managed to do so.
And now, you now had to step up a bit until things got going for you.
And you figured that working at the local coffee shop was the best solution. At least just until you got settled in your new home country and your career kicked in.
You knew that Monaco was the home to a lot of athletes, especially Formula 1 drivers, but you didn't really expect to meet any of them. Monaco was not really as small of a place as people thought, you wouldn't just run into an F1 driver in the street that casually.
No, you run into them at coffee shops.
You had been minding your own business one day, thankful that it was still early and people were not yet coming for coffee. But then the entrance bell rang, and your eyes met the most beautiful man you had ever laid eyes on.
The one and only, Lando Norris.
You didn't want to seem like an obsessed fan, so you tried to keep your excitement at bay the best you could.
"Hello" he greeted when he approached the counter, that famous smirk adorning his features.
"Hi. What can I get you?" you asked sweetly, praying to God that he wouldn't notice the furious blush on your cheeks.
"I'll just have a cappuccino, love" he asked, giving you a dazzling smile.
You blushed even more and nodded, getting to work on his drink.
He didn't say anything else for a second, he just watched and admired your movements as you effortlessly prepared his coffee.
"I haven't seen you around here before, and trust me. I would have remembered a face as beautiful as yours" Lando suddenly asked, leaning forward against the counter.
You almost did a double take, not wanting to get your hopes up. Was he actually flirting with you? Were you just dreaming?
You cleared your throat before you answered, which made Lando smile even more cockily.
"I just moved here a couple of days ago, got a job with a modelling agency and figured I would work for some extra money until the modelling gigs kick in" you explained, looking at his from the corner of your eye to see his wide eyes when you mentioned being a model.
"With a face as beautiful as yours, figured you were a model of some sort. Nobody would pass on someone as pretty as you"
You blushed again, thankful that the shop was almost empty and people couldn't see you falling apart just from talking to the man.
"Do you flirt with every barista you meet, Mr. Norris?" you teased, pouring the drink into a to-go cup.
"Just the insanely pretty ones"
You chuckled and shook your head, taking the sharpie in your hand to write his name on the cup. As soon as you wrote his name, your hand moved on its own, scribbling your phone number underneath and the message 'call me <3' next to it.
Biting your lip, you gave him the drink with a smile, biding your goodbyes.
"I'll see you around, Y/N" he said, looking at your name tag.
"Okay" was all you could say, your mind too fuzzy to come up with a better response.
He turned around just before he exited the cafe, winking at you before departing.
What the hell had just happened?
♡♡♡♡♡
Much to your disappointment, a couple of days had gone by without a single text from the driver.
You hadn't thought much of it, way too busy with unpacking and such to even think about your encounter. It was our friend who kept asking you about it, going out of her mind when you mentioned you had given your number to an F1 driver.
"Y/N, come here, you left me all alone" Samantha, your friend, called out for you from the living room.
You sighed, unwillingly getting out of your very comfortable position on your bed and walked into the living room.
Not even paying attention to what Samantha was doing, you fell on the couch face first, your sore limbs tired from the short walk from the bedroom to the living room.
"I was very comfortable in bed, thank you very much" you mumbled, but Samantha paid you no mind.
She knew how grumpy you got in the evenings, so she had learned to ignore your comments in such instances.
"Has he texted you yet?" she asked, making you glare at her.
"I don't know how many times you've already asked me that and how many times I've given you the exact same answer. No, he hasn't" you grumbled, hiding your face in your pillow.
Samantha hummed, casting a sneaky glance to her phone.
"But like what exactly happened?" she pressed, making you sigh.
"It's not that interesting of a story. He came in the coffee shop, ordered a drink, we flirted a little and then I wrote my number on his cup" you explained once again, and unbeknownst to you, your fans were going wild over the information they had just heard.
Samantha almost wanted to laugh when she saw the dozens of comments flooding in, calling Lando the "mysterious café boy" that hadn't texted you.
"If I were him, I would have texted you the minute I walked out" she defended, making you sigh.
"But you're not him. There are numerous reasons that could explain why he hasn't texted me, he's a busy guy, Samantha" you defended, getting up from the couch to head back to your bedroom, so done with the conversation.
Samantha waited until the door was closed before switching her attention back to her phone.
"And there you go, ladies and gentlemen. Our girl is finally finding love" she giggled, clapping her hands.
If only Lando would have the courage to make the first step.
♡♡♡♡♡
You had always been a fan of Formula 1, you got that from your father. He would always bring you with him to races when you were younger, and his love and admiration was passed onto you from a very young age.
However, you hadn't attended a race in a while, you hadn't had the opportunity or the time to go to one.
Until now.
McLaren had contacted you a couple of days before the Silverstone Grand Prix, inviting you as their VIP guest for the weekend. And who were you to refuse a weekend with the team of the guy you were crushing on?
That's how you found yourself walking towards the McLaren hospitality, bag clutched tightly in your hand as you approached the brightly papaya colored building.
Sighing with a smile on your face, you had just put your hand on the handle when the door opened from the inside and Lando stepped out, stopping in his tracks when he saw you in front of him.
The both of you froze, not knowing how to react. The first one to break the tension was Lando, who smiled at you widely.
"Hey, Y/N. Long time no see" he said, making you chuckle and nod.
"Yeah"
He nodded, and silence settled for a split second between the two of you before he spoke up.
"Look, I'm sorry I didn't text you. I saw your number, even saved it in my phone and was meaning to say something. I was just too nervous to screw things up, cause I really like you" he confessed, making your heartbeat quicken significantly.
Your eyes widened, and relief finally settled into your troubled mind. There had been so many thoughts and theories in your head about why he hadn't contacted you. Maybe you had misread the situation, maybe he wasn't interested, maybe he didn't see your number written next to his name, countless possibilities had been swirling around in your head.
But now, you were finally content. He was just nervous, bless his heart. If you were being fair, you would have been way too nervous to contact him if the roles had been reversed.
"Don't worry, it's okay" you reassured him, which made Lando feel better.
"I want to make it up to you. How about dinner tonight? My treat, I'll show you around the city" he suggested, his eyes full of hope.
You couldn't possibly deny him, so you found yourself nodding.
"Great" he smiled and leaned in to plant a kiss on your cheek before departing towards the garage.
You bit your lip, trying to suppress a smile.
He hadn't forgotten you after all.
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yourusername my café boy 🤎
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francisca.cgomes i’m so happy for you guys!!!❤️❤️
yourusername thank you babe!!!✨❤️
user1 who is that????
user2 i’m so jealous 🙂↕️🥲
pietrapilao ❤️
yourusername 🫶🏻
user3IS THAT LANDO?????
user4 why would you think it’s lando?
user5 some people saw him with someone at the race and think this is his girlfriend
maxfewtrell smooth
yourusername thanks 🙂↕️
user6 this is basically confirmation that’s Lando 😭
maxfewtrell don’t take my word for it, people
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all i can think about is conrad bringing home bimbo!reader. like everyone knows belly likes conrad but he sees her as a sister so belly’s being rude and asking snide backhand comments but she’s not realizing it and actually thanking and answering belly with a smile. so now everyone realizes she’s not the smartest person but susannah LOVES her! (and connie baby is looking so happy and proud 🥹)!!! i’ve been looking for one like this but i can’t find it and can’t stop thinking of it!!!!!
────────────── 𝐝𝐞𝐞𝐩𝐥𝐲 𝐢𝐧𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐲𝐨𝐮 - 𝐜.𝐟
ONE SHOT !
warnings: FLUFF, belly being a b*tch, shit talking, physical touch (LMK IF IS MISSED ANYTHING)
requested by: anonymous
To be honest, no one expected Conrad to have a girlfriend like you. Everyone said that you were far from his type, you weren't dumb - you were just slow and doesn't know certain types of words or slangs. For Conrad, you were one of the most smartest person that he knew, well basically because he got to know you. You don't really show it but you have so much potential especially when it comes to fashion and make-up! a plus is that you are really good with art.
About his type, they always thought that it would be Belly and Conrad that would end up together, knowing that Belly is literally in love with him ever since they were kids, before you happened, they had a special bond - a bond that to the point where they were just inseparable, Belly thought that it was something so beautiful, It was her dream to be with Conrad.
Not until she knew that he had a girlfriend, and that he just treats him like a sister and nothing else.
───────────────────────────
Conrad's Pov
"Connie, you should bring that girlfriend of yours here sometimes!" Mom exclaimed, happily. Ever since I brought Y/N here, she was all mom asked from me, even her and Jeremiah instantly clicked. You can say that amongst the girls that I have been with, Y/N is surely my mom's favorite.
I smiled proudly, "I'll try, Mom. She's busy and I don't want to interfere with her personal life, but I'll ask. I'm sure she'll say yes especially if it's your request" I rubbed my mom's shoulder, she nodded.
She stood up and walked towards the kitchen, "Well tell me when she's coming so I can invite the Conklin's too, I'm sure her and Belly will get along really well." I just hummed and nodded. I pulled out my phone and sent a text to Y/N asking if she can come here for dinner, she immediately responded saying yes. I smiled.
I saw my mom's figure come into the living room, I looked up - smiling at her, she tilted her head looking at me confused, "Well, it looks like you favorite girl is coming" I said giddily. My mom squealed, "Omg! I am so excited, I will cook her her favorite!" she said before going to the kitchen, to list down foods that she know's Y/N will like.
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FEW DAYS LATER
Y/N's Pov
"Mom! We're here!" Conrad yelled, his hand rubbing your waist gently. You saw Susannah walked towards us, she went up to me and hugged me "Oh gosh! You're finally here, I missed you" she cooed, pulling away - placing her hands on your face gently. You smiled, looking at her "Oh Susannah, I missed you too! Here I got you your favorite" You said, handing her the dessert that she liked. She gasped, and grabbed it from you gently "Oh you didn't have to!" she said, pouting a little. You shook your head "It's okay! I wanted to" You smiled before looking up to Conrad who was already looking at you - smiling lovingly.
Jeremiah came into the view, walking towards you - pulling you in for a hug. "Hey, you!" he said, smiling. "Hi, Jere" I looked at him, smiling. "Looking good as always" he said, twirling me a little bit. It wasn't anything that was awkward between you and Jeremiah, even Conrad doesn't find it awkward. Ever since Conrad brought you here for the first time, you and Jeremiah just had that sister & brother bond.
You felt Conrad hand on your waist, "Baby, this is the Conklin's. This is Steven, Belly, and Laurel. You already know who they are since I did talk about them to you." Conrad said - smiling, turning you gently to face the Conklin's. You saw Laurel smile at you before walking towards you for a hug, "It is nice to finally meet you" she said, before pulling away. You saw Steven wave while Belly was just there, looking at you up and down, but you just chose to ignore it and just smiled at her.
After a while, you all went to the dining room to start eating. "Here you go, sweets. Eat lots yeah?" Conrad said, grabbing food for you - placing it on your plate, you heard Belly scoff "What? you got no hands? can't get your own food?" she mocked you, you looked at her confused. Steven nudged her with his elbow "Belly, stop it" he said, you looked around, all of them were looking at her, Susannah had a stern look on her face. Belly rolled her eyes, groaning "Calm down you guys, it was a joke!" she said, looking at you smiling, Susannah sighed "That wasn't a good joke, Belly" she said, reaching for you gently. Belly looked at her and said sorry. You just smiled back nodding, going back to eating your food.
You felt Conrad's hand on your thigh, you placed your hand on top of his - you felt his hands lock in with yours. You looked up and saw him give you a reassuring smile, you nodded and smile, telling him that you were okay. "So Y/N.. what is your major?" Laurel asked, you furrowed your brows, not familiar with the word until Conrad whispered to you "It’s what you do in school, baby" he said smiling, Belly chuckled - not believing what she just saw "Oh! Uhm I major in fashion design!" you exclaimed happily, smiling at Laurel. She nodded before smiling at you "Well It is obvious, just look at what you are wearing." Belly said, looking at you up and down, "Isabella." Laurel warned her, grabbing her arm gently
you smiled - thinking that it was a compliment. "Thank you!" you said, looking at Belly - she just looked at you like you were crazy which made you shrug you shoulders - looking at Conrad. He was looking at them, his brows furrowed. You felt his hand tighten around your thigh, you placed your hand above his - rubbing it gently, He looked at you - his gaze softened, he smiled.
After you guys were done with dinner, Conrad decided to walk you around the house. You guys were now at the back of the house, at the pool with your feet's dipped in it. Conrad reached for your hand, caressing it gently "Sorry for earlier, darling. I'm sorry for not defending you or saying anything to Belly" he said, before tucking a strand of your hair behind your ear. You turned to him, brow furrowed, shaking your head "Why are you sorry? nothing happened earlier, Connie. I am okay, whatever they said didn't hurt me okay? I'll try my best to get along with Belly." you said, smiling still unaware of Belly's action.
Conrad eyes softened "Oh my love, you are too kind. Sometimes it scares because then people will try to get advantage of you" he paused, caressing your face "but it's okay, i'll be here yeah? I'll defend you and I will stay right by your side, always so don't worry about getting along with her. You don't have to do that, baby. Just think about mom and everyone else, they absolutely love you." he said, before pulling you in for a kiss.
Conrad is just deeply in love with you, he doesn't care what other people think as long as you are there beside him. He was just high over heels, he absolutely adores you and treasure you, he wouldn't ask for more. He just felt like the luckiest guy to have someone like you.
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I JUST LOVED WRITING THIS! it is honestly one of the cutest and wholesome oneshot i've ever written. Conrad is just so inlove with reader and I AM UP FOR IT, I want a love like this UGH. Thank you, anon for requesting this <3
#tsitp#tsitp conrad#tsitp fic#tsitp oneshot#tsitp imagine#tsitp fanfic#conrad fisher#conrad fisher imagine#conrad fisher x you#conrad fisher fanfic#conrad fisher fic#conrad fisher x reader#conrad fisher x y/n#conrad fisher one shot#conrad fisher angst#the summer i turned pretty#abtconrad fics#bimbo reader
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But you're my stepmom! (Part 3)
The morning after your dinner with Agatha and then you go to a party with Wanda.
Word count: 2000+
Warnings: masturbation, brief mommy kink, underage drinking, intoxication, throwing up
Tag list: @stayevildarling @i-just-cannot @hazey-g @buttercandy16 @320viada @evilangels-stuff @rmaximoff @morganismspam23
It’s 9 am on Saturday when you finally wake up. You groggily check your phone to find a text from an unknown number, sent last night at 10:30: Had a lovely night with you, sweetheart. Hope we can do it again sometime soon.
If you hadn’t known who the number belonged to, you would’ve assumed you had been on a date that went really well.
But you do know who it belongs to so you turn your phone over with a groan. Thankfully you don’t have anything to do today besides just a few things for school.
You peek through your blinds which look down to your driveway and find your mom’s car gone. Perfect. You have the whole house to yourself. You throw on a purple sports bra and gray sweatpants and head downstairs to find something to eat.
You’re halfway through a bowl of cereal and an episode of The Office when the doorbell rings. You quickly swallow your bite and creep over to the door, looking carefully through the peephole. You have absolutely no clue who it could be.
Your mouth drops and you unlock the door and swing it open. Agatha is standing on your front porch. You poke your head outside and look around for your dad or any reason for why she’s here.
“Um–”
“You left your sweatshirt in my car last night,” she interrupts, holding your hoodie out to you. You blink. She came all the way over on a Saturday just for that? She didn’t even text first.
“Oh. Thanks. Sorry about that, I didn’t even realize I left it,” you say, taking the hoodie from her. She doesn’t move. “Do you want to come in?”
She breezes past you and walks into the kitchen. All you can think about is how mad your mom would be if she knew Agatha was in her house. And you’re also maybe thinking about how it’s just the two of you, in the house, alone.
She clears her throat, fiddling with a ring on one of her fingers. You raise an eyebrow at her. Is she nervous? “Your dad is wondering if you’d like to spend the day with us tomorrow. We can go see a movie, go shopping. Whatever you’d like.”
“Why didn’t he just text me?”
“I’m sure he will. I just wanted to give you a heads up.” And then it’s like she finally looks at you and sees what you’re wearing. A light visibly sparks in her eyes. You look down at yourself and blush furiously. The cold air in the house has made your nipples poke through your lavender-colored bra.
“Sorry,” you mumble, folding your arms in front of your chest. “I didn’t know you were coming over. Otherwise I would’ve put on a shirt.”
She grins wolfishly. “Don’t apologize. I love a girl in purple.”
Is she–no. She is not flirting.
“Well, just think about it,” she says and you blanch. Did she read your mind?
“Think about…what?”
“Spending the day with us tomorrow, silly! What else would I be talking about?”
You open and close your mouth a few times, trying to figure out how to respond. Agatha is clearly enjoying herself.
“I should get going. Lots of work to do today. Hopefully I’ll see you tomorrow,” she says, giving you one more heated look, and then she lets herself out. You lock the door behind her, bewildered. What the fuck was that?
Your cereal is soggy so you dump it down the sink. You flop on the couch and squirm around, trying to get comfortable, but you can’t stop thinking about the way Agatha’s eyes raked up and down your body. The way her eyes lit up when she saw your nipples.
Before you even really know what you’re doing, you slide a hand into your underwear. Fuck. You’re already wet. You refuse to think of Agatha as you begin to touch yourself, pulling up mental images of all the women you find attractive. It works until it doesn’t.
You keep getting close to the edge but then you just can’t finish. You grunt in frustration and slide a finger inside yourself, beginning to thrust hard. It feels good, so why can’t you cum?
You try fantasy after fantasy until one starts to stick.
“Mm," you moan, your hand tangled in the brunette’s thick hair. Her face works between your legs, sucking your clit just right. Her fingers are digging into your thighs and you groan at the thought of seeing half-moon indents tomorrow, a reminder of how good she’s fucking you.
You roll your hips against your hand, finally feeling your orgasm begin to build.
“Right there, mommy”, you say. The woman clearly likes that because she pulls you down so she can get into more of your pussy. “Fuck.” She pushes a finger into you, curling it just right.
You pant with the effort, so close. You just need a bit more.
“Do you like this?” The woman says into your cunt, tongue slowly licking through your folds. You’re throbbing against her as you beg for more. She slowly lifts her head, smirking at you.
You gasp aloud. It’s Agatha.
Cum for mommy, baby girl.
You cum so hard your back arches off the couch and you let out a loud moan. Fuck, fuck, fuck. You absolutely cannot be thinking about your step-mother while you masturbate.
You go to wash your hands and you see a missed text on your phone. Your heart beats faster. Is it Agatha? Could she have possibly known what you just did?
Heard Rio Vidal’s having a party tonight. Want to go? It’s from Wanda. A party is just what you need to take your mind off things. Specifically your step-mom.
Sure. What time is it?
Wanda texts back that it starts at 8 so that’s when she’ll pick you up. You laugh to yourself. Wanda will not be caught dead being the first person at a party.
You get another text, this time from your dad: Hey, sweet pea. What do you think about spending the day with me and Agatha tomorrow? You chew on your bottom lip and then reply with a yes before you can talk yourself out of it.
And now you have about ten hours to kill before the party tonight.
***
The rest of the day passes pretty quickly. You busy yourself with homework and take a quick afternoon nap. And then finally it’s time to get ready for the party. You find a cute red top and a short black skirt in your closet and check yourself out in the mirror. You look good.
You get flashbacks to dressing up for dinner yesterday, but you shake those thoughts from your head. You’re about to go to a party with age-appropriate girls that aren’t married to your father.
I’m outside. You grin at Wanda’s text and gather all your stuff before going downstairs.
The two of you easily fill the air with small talk about homework and school. And then Wanda asks if you got into trouble with your step-mom for sneaking into their pool yesterday.
“No, not really. Agatha just made me go to dinner with her last night,” you say with a shrug, downplaying how flustered even the thought of her makes you.
Wanda makes a face. “That’s weird. How was it?”
“Actually not too bad. She’s alright. I’m actually gonna hang out with her and my dad tomorrow.”
“Oh, good,” she says with a smile.
When you get to Rio’s house, cars are already parked all along the street so you end up having to park on a different street.
“Ugh, this sucks,” Wanda complains. You giggle at her dramatics. It’s maybe a five minute walk to the house from the car.
Once inside, you make a beeline straight for the alcohol. It has been quite a day. Pouring vodka straight into a cup, you take a sip and gasp at the burn. And then you take another swig, embracing it. You need this.
“There you are!” Rio comes up beside you, slapping you on the back. You cough on the vodka. “Finish that up and then come play beer pong with us.”
You nod in agreement. You and Rio are friendly enough, but being completely honest, she kind of scares you a little. Her intense stare made you feel like she could see into the depths of your soul. And she was more than just a little odd.
You down the rest of your cup and then follow her over to the pong table. It’s the two of you against Natasha Romanoff and Maria Hill.
“You’re going down,” Rio hisses at them. She goes first and completely misses. Nat smirks and tosses the ball. It soars into the cup right in front of you, liquid splashing onto your stomach.
“Drink up!” Nat exclaims. You wince and chug the cup of cheap beer, grimacing at the taste.
The game does not go well for you and Rio after that. It seems like everytime you or her throws the ball, it always bounces off the rim or goes right in-between cups. At one point, you swear the ball goes into the cup and then ricochets off the beer and out of the cup, but you could be wrong since you’re pretty drunk at this point on account of Nat and Maria sinking every single shot they take.
“We are not good at this!” You slur loudly to Rio, who laughs hysterically. She is in worse shape than you are.
“Last one!” Nat cheers and throws the ball. You watch in horror as it goes into the only remaining cup on your side of the table. You turn your head to Rio since it’s her turn to drink, but she is holding onto the table for dear life, eyes fixed forward.
You figure it’s best if you take one for the team and drink the last cup, immediately gagging.
“Shit,” you curse and run to go find the bathroom. You make it just in time before you bend over and puke in the toilet. You’re sweaty, drunk, and now you just want to go home.
You stumble through the house trying to find Wanda, but there’s no sign of her anywhere. You grumble to yourself, thinking of what to do. Ugh. You know you can call. But you don’t like it, not right now.
The fresh air sobers you up ever so slightly when you step outside so it’s quiet. You don’t even have to check the number before you punch it into your phone; you’ve traced over it enough times that it’s ingrained in your memory, even when you’re this drunk.
You lift the phone to your ear, sort of hoping she doesn’t answer. No such luck. She picks up on the first ring, like she’s been waiting for you.
“Y/n?” Agatha says and your heart leaps.
“Sorry to bother you,” you garble, the alcohol still making your brain fuzzy. “Could you possibly come pick me up? And also, don’t tell my dad.”
“What? Where are you? Are you drunk?” Her voice is accusing and you giggle despite the seriousness of the situation.
“Nooo, you’re drunk,” you say, still laughing.
“Where are you?” She’s stern now. “Are you at a party? You’re being really irresponsible right now.”
“Sorry, mommy,” you retort mockingly, heat still flushing through your body at actually calling her that. You think you hear her breath hitch, but maybe that’s just you. “Can you just come get me? I wanna see you.”
“Sweetheart,” she says lowly. “I need you to tell me where you are. I can’t come get you if you don’t tell me that.”
“I was thinking of you earlier,” you say intently.
“Oh, yeah? Can you tell me where the party’s at?”
You roll your eyes. “Fine, since you want to make such a big deal out of it.” You step away from the wall you were leaning on and read out the house number and then scan the street for the street name. There’s silence on Agatha’s side for a second. “Hello?” You ask, not sure she’s still there.
“I’ll be there in 15 minutes.” And then she hangs up.
#agatha harkness smut#agatha harkness x fem!reader#agatha harkness x reader#agatha x reader#agatha x you#agatha harkness x you#agatha smut#kathryn hahn x reader#agatha all along
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In Sickness and In Health
Pairing: Charles Leclrec x Reader
Summary: Charles taking care of you when sick, great practice for married life, short blurb
requests open masterlist
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You tried to hide it, you really did, but it was game over when Charles saw your pale skin and tired eyes.
“Mon amour, go back to bed,” he says immediately. And there he was, overprotective Charles was back.
“Charles, I’m fine, promise,” you hide your sniffle, as you reach for the tea kettle. You aren’t fine, your whole body aches, your head hurts, and you are absolutely freezing. Charles shakes his head, giving you a few seconds before picking you up and carrying you back to bed.
“Stay put, I’ll make you your tea,” he instructs, putting the back of his hand on your forehead to check your temperature. With a hum he removed his hand, going back to the kitchen. Charles sends a text to his mom, asking her for the soup she always makes when he is sick, before making some toast and steeping the tea.
You are already asleep by the time he gets back to the bedroom, so he quickly grabs a damp washcloth from the bathroom to rest on your head after he wakes you up.
“Charles, you didn’t have to, I’m ok,” you are only trying to convince yourself. Charles usually loves your stubborn nature, but not when you are sick.
“Y/n, you have a fever, and I know you don’t feel well. Eat and drink your tea, it will help you feel better. I put some medicine there on the tray too,” He lays down beside you.
“Thank you,” you whisper, not wanting to fight it anymore.
“You know I love taking care of you,” he smiles, turning on your favorite movie, around halfway through you fall asleep. Charles replaces your now warm towel with a cool one.
Charles slips out of bed when you are in a deep sleep to clean up your breakfast and do his daily workout. Pascale shows up with soup not too long after.
"Thank you, Maman. I'll make sure she eats it," Charles reassures his mom, putting the container in the fridge.
"I'll go check her temp, you eat something. I know you didn't eat yet today," Pascale, who is arguably more overprotective than Charles, says, hurrying off to the bedroom.
"Drink some water, sweetheart," Charles walks in on his mom fussing over you, and you -to his surprise- seem to be enjoying it. "It's probably just the stomach flu, you'll be ok in a couple days," she is brushing back your hair, putting it in a braid.
"Charles, go heat up the soup," Pascale tells her son, who obliges.
"Thank you, Maman," you tell the older woman, who has helped you to feel at home in Monaco with your fiance.
"When you need help with Charles in a couple days because he is sick, just give me a call. Remember to eat and drink lots of fluids, and maybe some fresh air," she hums, patting your hand, and standing up.
"Thank you for the soup, Maman," Charles hugs his mom as she leaves.
You spend the rest of the day trying to keep food down and sleeping, and in a few days, you are back to normal thanks to Charles' care. Naturally, the day you wake up perfectly healthy, Charles is hugging the toilet bowl. You pull out your phone and dial a number you knew by heart.
"Hello, Maman. Do you still have that soup?"
"I'm on my way,"
#f1 imagines#f1 x reader#f1 imagine#charles leclerc x reader#charles leclerc#charles leclerc imagine
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