#or the 'im going to sleep with these entities in my dreams like its a SPORT' way

[devotedlystrangewizard]

thinking about my dark urge ("dad will love me so much if i do this") and my most recent tav ("surely the emperor who has deceived me is entirely trustworthy") meeting my semi-normal tav

[auraworkshop]

Hi aura! I thought its nice to share it here about my experience in your lucid dream sub that you recently released. Okay so the day you posted it on yt, like no more than an hour I decided that Imma put it in my void playlist and listen to while going to sleep.

THIS IS THE CRAZY PART FOR ME AND IM NOT EVEN KIDDING.

I HAD THREE FREAKING LUCID DREAMS STRAIGHT THAT NIGHT.

first is that I woke up because the dream is somewhat terrifying to me. And I am actually aware that I am dreaming but I can't do anything in my dream. Or atleast I don't know how yet. But what I did is I forced myself to be awake and that's what happened.

Afterwards I went to sleep again, and this time the second dream is a lot pleasant than first but still I couldn't control it. (Lol I decided to learn how to lucid dream and be in control after this wild experience) and then when I just told myself that I want to be awake, I naturally woke up. And mind you, I am aware that I am dreaming. I just don't know how to take control yet.

Then the third one, I and I think the closest thing to me to void. Here's what happened. I am aware in that dream that somehow, I am in a different world, like the world that I used to imagine before (i am a big lover of astronomy) so I imagine myself being able to visit different planets whilst having all my desires from void list. Like actually materialised. And it felt really really real to me but instead, I said to myself that I want them(the things in my list) to be seen first thing when I open my eyes and I decided to visit void. But before I could even do that, I heard a voice. A freaking clear voice that WOKE ME UP IN INSTANT. like shit that freaking surprised me.

On side note: I always have this assumption that people can wake me up by just calling my name once so that's what always happens to me coz my parents are sometimes getting sick at night and then they just kinda calls my name so I always wake up by just calling my name once.

So I assumed that my mom(whose sleeping beside me) called for me so I tried to check but she's dead asleep for atleast a while and honestly that woke me up. Like what the hell happened. Just as clear ss day, I heard somebody called my name and that woke me up.

Then I read somewhere here that they are so close to void when they heard a clear voice calling their name and that scared them so I'm assuming that's whay happened to me.

Any ideas about my last experience about? I'm not sure even if that's me getting so close to void but I just thought that I wanna share my experience to others as well and ask for your insight too.

OMG THANKS. 🥹

SUBLIMINAL SUCCESS STORY ♡

Honey, that was such a wonderful experience!

Yes, there is a good chance you were close to the void state. This is also evident from having lucid dreams back to back, which is rare for people to get multiple times at one night. The voice you heard calling you is just a manifestation of your fear of a higher entity waking you. You thought of something fearful and scary so that is what your subconscious manifested. But this is nothing to be scared of and I assure you if you don't attach your fear to that voice, your experience will be a lot smoother ! 🤍

[ancientgoddessofegypt]

Trapped Inside A Scapegoat: Astral Traveling & The Truth About Certain Demons & Entities

So I wanted to bring up some things about demons, lower entities and the dream states that we fall into when we are asleep in the night. I will never forget my first encounter of seeing the unseen, but one particular story I have in mind puts me back into a spell.. Its like a hazy feeling, I never knew how to explain the things that happened but it scared me to the point that I could never sleep past 2:30, and if I was still awake I stayed awake until dawn. Boy, high school was a drag.

Just an fyi, if you dont believe in spirits or the spiritual realm then this isnt for you. k? k. <3

On these nights I couldn't sleep, it would be because of the sleep paralysis that would happen and the weird energy I would be forced to recognize during these hours. As well as seeing things that just did not make sense, I would look at the clock to see it was either 2 am to 4 am. Never an in between.

So, I wanted to go in with a little story time, maybe this will help me unbox some things that happened. Because after a long ole while, after this event, my life changed... seemingly more depressive, and anxiety would be in the forefront of my reality for a long while.

Back when I was a teen, I remember cakin' on the phone with this one guy I had the biggest crush on, and it was around 2:30 at the time. At about 3:00 I told him I was tired and quickly laid down to rest.

So let me give you guys some details. I normally like to rest on one side of my body, typically on the right side and in my room I face the window. So from my memory, our conversation lasted til 3:08. I NEVER forgot the time. Sometimes Im a quick dreamer, so I go to bed pretty easily. Anywho, I remember the dream started where I was in my room. It was really interesting, me and a few people that I knew from high school (and my old school that I had just recently moved away from) were practicing some cheers because we were training to be on the cheer team. It was weird. In the dream some of them had on cheerleader gear, and some of them we're outside the front of my room where I could see them thru the window. The girls told me they would be right back as they we're going to get their things for the cheerleading competition/training, they run out the room and the next thing you here is a bunch of rumbling... theirs voices speaking from around the room but i don't see nobody. next thing you know everything goes black. the blacker it gets the louder the voices... i realize from this point their speaking in an unfamiliar language... latin almost. or whatever they were saying was backwards... at this point i was able to open my eyes and i see a dark figure standing right in front of me. What took me off guard was that its eyes, they we're like stars and had this intriguing shine to it. It was 'bald' but had a human-like body but no mouth ears and barely even a nose... I could feel it touching me, the back of my neck had chills as you can tell thats where it was touching on me. I grew scared but remembered I could get up.

And then boom. I woke up.

But this is what i thought was weird. Remember when I said I was sleeping on my side? I woke up on my back, facing the mirror. I looked at the time and it was 3:16 am.

What. The. Fuck.

I had barely slept? How could that be? All of this happened within a matter of minutes. I was exhausted. I said, 'Was this the devil?'

Quickly I ran into my grandparents room, lmao, yeah I know. I was scareeeeeeeed. My room felt cold after that. I had to go.

And for a while, that wouldn't be my last encounter. I mean, the thing went away, but there was more to come. At this point, I had to face the mirror. I mean literally face the mirror because its the center of the room and my bed faces it. But I had to sleep... This would go on for many months until one day it just.. sorta stopped. I began my journey of law of attraction, numerology, and metaphysics at this point and grew a little happier. So maybe it was destiny.

So let me get into a few things about this dark shadow being and some tips about whats going on:

Mirrors are shapeshifting portals. Their portals to other dimensions. And 'entities' can & will come through here in the access of dreams/illusions/nightmares etc.

3 am is considered the 'devil-hour' - this is when the veil to the spirit realm is unlocked and you can see more outside of the veil.

Fear and lower energies can 'attract' these beings to your door step. They can smell it on you.

That 'shadow' being could be insight to whats deep inside of yourself. Your power. Your Energy. Your light. Even on the other side it's noticed.

So when I seen this being, I was shook out of my mind. But wait.. after moments and time of introspection. I've learned that it's mirroring back at me something I never thought I would ever thought was me.

Months later I digged into astrology, numerology, found some things about angel numbers, started trying to process the spiritual realm much more clearly. Because the thing kept happening to me, and I was always an anxious & yet fearful girl, I knew there was a bit more strength in me.

When the thing came, I was trying to get out a depression when I was at my old school and once I had finally returned back to my hometown I was little happy. But at night, our darkest feelings, our inner shadow shows its weight, and also our potential.

I've tried tapping into that 'fear', and have learned there is so much more about me due to the dreams I've had of my future. It takes me back to the shadow figure from that night. Because why we're you there?

Also, what stuck to me the most was that a friend at the time told me that if you see something like that and it touches you, some sort of witchcraft might be on you... another topic, for another day I suppose.

But it always stuck with me, because... how so?

At the time when I was in high school and seen these weird entities because again, this went on for MONTHS. Every other day and night. I noticed before then I had a fear complex, thats what I'll call it. Always anxious, always sad, always depressed, been that way since a young girl. So now we get to the part where we talked about a trapped consciousness.

Because immediately when that happened, I went straight to church with my grandma ! Lol. No jokes. And later found out it was not the answer I needed. It wasn't working. Not to say going to church can't help or save someone, it just didn't have the answer I thought I needed. I went looking for some time when I would go.

What I want to say is, when you see things you cannot explain. You cannot run to the church, religion, or even a 'savior', because at the end of the day YOU have to learn it. You have to come to terms with it. And I've been learning. So so very hard, and its begin to giving me the dream & insight of what was truly around the corner.

My ancestors dream. Metaphysics, Clairvoyance, My dreams where trying to come thru in the astrals and when you are at your lowest these 'things' can come in and try to warp your mind/gifts/talents/ etc.

The final thing I will say here is that they feed off our spirits because in the lower realms they need 'fuel' to get to 'heaven' and you are the source of that. We the human are 'heaven' and some entities are parasitical and need life force to move to the other side.

So fear, guilt, shame, anxiety, depression etc is one of the lowest frequencies to be on because it is denser and its harder to move 'up'.

And when you live in those vibrations, your blocking your own destiny. Your truth, your light, your power all is unlocked once you move past it.

Another thing I will say is that not all 'lower entities' are evil. But for the sake of talking about demons and entities, I will save that for another post, to leave out any confusion.

[coldslaws]

Actually wait think about it like this

SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS SPOILERS YOU'VE BEEN WARNED.

What if the reason why the Triad attacked N in the first place was to help Penny in the different was, injecting the dream mist of Penny into N so that whenever she dreams, click won't be alone, they'll be together.

However this backfires because dream mist is far more powerful than they originally thought and due to it mixing with N's blood, it gave clack a mystical form that only appears during N's sleep.

That way the whole "N was talking to Penny in his sleep" still stands, it just hadn't fully set in yet. Penny woke up scared, confused, he's in a place click never seen before, but they see someone, someone new, a friend! Maybe this friend could help clack out? .... Maybe even help him escape wherever click is?

sorry i took a nap<3

oooo hehe this is interesting. i do still wanna make penny an entity capable of existing (semi) separate of n, so maybe we could combine ideas here.. like while the triad figures out how to fully recreate penny's real world self (kinda tricky for them since colress is, yknow, in jail. they have to go off of whatever notes he left at the castle), they decide to inject the dream mist so penny is tethered to n in the mean time until he becomes more real

THAT. OR. (and maybe this was what you were getting at to begin with sorry im a little pea-brained) now that penny is tethered to n, its n who has to go back to the castle, find colress's old lab, uncover the notes and figure out how to help penny manifest in full beyond when she sleeps. i think that could be fun actually but it would take a lil more effort on my end to pull off. hmmm...

LOVE the desc btw :D and also you did fine with penny's pronouns dw!! thank you! im assuming these are the same anons despite the font change but obvi i can't tell fs since anon. so if im wrong then oops

[treetownconfessions]

thinking about htf au where fliqpy is the demon entity creature thing of all time except he was such a menace that he got sealed up into dogtags and those got thrown deep into the jungle in a huge lake within it so hes basically trapped there forever. and flippys just a regular ass private and he knows the tiger bomb mission was just a massive setup to kill him and his friends but he cant do anything about it so the night before the mission he goes outside to look at the stars and the water all emo-like and miserably one last time because hes accepted hes gonna die and the spot he chose is literally the lake fliqpy was imprisoned and when flippy looks at his reflection in the water it distorts to fliq since he's looking back and starts talking to him and. flippys super sleep deprived and insane and its the dead of night so he doesnt even fucking care that his own distorted reflection is talking to him in the lake now and thinks hes probably just dreaming. and fliq asks him whats wrong and flippys like "im gonna die tomorrow :( cant do anything about it" and fliqpys like "yeah that sounds unfortunate. i bet youd like not-dying over dying right" and flippys like yeahi guess, and then fliqs like "i can do that for you! stick ur hand in the pond" and flippys like "what" and fliqs like "do it. Put Your Hand In The Pond" and flippys like fine, and puts his arm in the pond and has to dig around for a bit in the water to find the dogtags and when he lifts it out hes like "what is this gonna do" and fliqpys like "yeah that. that thing :) dont worry about it just replace that with your regular dogtags and everything will be sorted out. lol. lmao" and flippys like ok fuck it i have nothing to lose and does as he says and fliqs reflection is gone at this point so he heads back to his camp and falls asleep. he wakes up and literally nothing has changed and hes convinced its just a dream so he goes out 100% sure hes about to die today. and the tiger bomb mission happens the same with his friends dying and fliq appearing and flippys like Ohhhh. u WERENT just a figment of my imagination. and fliqpys like "yeah im here to take over your body as my own so i can properly free myself" and flippys like "oh. dont do that please" but fliqpys a massive asshole and kind of only tricked flippy into the events of last night bc when he saw flippy he realized he could switch out his physical inhabitance from the dogtags to him so now flippys fucking stuck with this murderous incomprehensible entity and fliqpy is originally only using flippy as a temporary host until he can create his OWN body and inhabit that (which will also probably kill flippy in the process once he leaves him) but theyre also in the middle of a war so hes like ok, i have to keep flippy alive until this war is over so he can keep being my host, and then when its done and we leave i can get to making my own form freely. but his plan goes south because. he falls in love with flippy and then is stuck between striving for the freedom hes been wanting and calculating for since the day he was imprisoned and staying and caring for this silly green bear whos shown him kindness hes never had before even in the face of betrayal and its not like he can do both because again itll probably fucking kill flippy so hes just so torn up over it and he doesnt recognize these feelings he has for someone seemingly so insignificant and. yeah

im going to die

[cloudcountry]

I trust you have been nicely hydrated today? If so that is wonderful! But if you haven’t, that is okay though you may want to drink.

On a different note, what is your favourite book you’ve read? I’m curious.

I HAD A FEW SIPS OF WATER THANK U FOR CHECKING IN!! :D

as for favorite book,,,.., i cant giev you just one but i can give you a few from authors that really stuck with me!!!

first and foremost.,,.,. william shakespeare. his plays have been w me since childhood so ive been reading his stories since like forever and my favorite plays of his would have to be othello, much ado about nothing, taming of the shrew, and a midsummer night's dream. the last one may be a cliche pick but i think its popular for a good reason!! ^^ im partial to his comedies as you can see HASGFDHASGF

i woudl recommend osamu dazai's schoolgirl as well,,, in my copy theres a prologue type of deal?? and i remember one sentence taht said something along the lines of "dazai spoke for a whole generation of people" and i understood that completely after i finished reading it. its a small read since its a novel, but wow i have never related more to a protagonist.

the may bird trilogy is childhood book series that i adored and still love to this day ^^ pumpkin is my favorite character and hes such a sweetheart,,.,., though i think i should give some context? may bird is a girl that falls into a lake and comes out the other side in the ever after, where dead people go. pumpkin is her house ghost, an entity assigned to her house so he was never technically alive?? but they go on an adventure (spoilers hehe) and its so GOOD

i went digging through my pile of favorites and found THE WORLD OF LOREEEEEE. its been a favorite of mine for a while!! if you liek spooky stuff i would highly recommend these books ^^ the writing style is so engaging and i used to read these when i was too anxious to sleep ahsfdhagsfd COMFORT BOOKS FR

[sister-lucifer]

a dream from may 10, 2022, 4-6 AM

tw: mentions of gore, violence, kidnapping, + unreality

idk what the backstory to it was but basically masky and hoodie had kidnapped (?) brian and tim (tim and masky are separate entities, as are brian and hoodie, idk why) and tim was in some sort of confined space,, like idk a small room or something,, but basically he can’t really move or see anything. brian is tied to a chair and they are straight up torturing him. like that’s not a joke. i’m seeing things from tim’s pov so i can’t see what’s going on but i can hear it and i can hear brian screaming and i can hear him gargling blood and begging for his life and chunks of flesh are hitting the floor but i can’t do anything and tim can’t do anything and i just have to sit there and listen to it until i wake up 

i had this dream twice. the first time when i woke up it was exactly 4:00 am. when i went back to sleep i had this dream again except there was something else that happened. at the end all of a sudden i was sitting in a pitch black room. masky is standing in front of me (it’s tim’s body and he’s not wearing a mask but i can just tell its masky) and he leans down to be at my level and he says “what makes you so sure you’re real, and what makes you so sure i’m not?” 

when i woke up again it was exactly 6 am. 

just like the last entry i would i be very interested to see if any of you have any possible idea what this could mean, im legitimately curious

[abaharashi]

Does anyone know if you see marking snd symbols in your sleep and if you drsw them, they start to manifest? Had a very disturbing dream last night and when...whatever it was, let go on me there were flashes of symbols being splattered on the wall with those same symbols now being like...holes and tears in the creatures flesh. And i mean flashes and quick shots like youd see in a movie.

I dont remember if it was a friend of my youngest brother but at first things were normal and we were in a big square room with a high ceiling. No decorations, just a mattress in the middle of the room against the furthest wall. No doors just large entry ways to in the building or wherever we were. Like it was supposed to be a gallery of some sort.

Anyway i go to get some water from the big water room directly infront of us but seperated by anyother room that was more akin to a hall. Again, no decorations, just white walls. Well i almost get done with getting water and this bulbous, slimey/sticky thing wraps what used to be its arms around me and begins pleading to not leave. But its being so forceful in ita hold that i begin to get super nervous and panic. I struggle for a minute or 2 to get the...appendages off of me and when i do thats when the flashes and aymbols appeared. But i sqw the symbols appear on the walls of the room with the mattress. And i rush down the stairs made of crisp clean white stone and the thing starts sobbing. I realize i forget a bag or something and i go back and forth if its worth encountering the entity again just for a bag. I peak around the corner and its not there. I rush and grab my bag and as i run back towarss the stairs i glance over and the entity is sitting on the mattress just...sitting there. Looking defeated maybe? The symbols were still on the walls and had adhered to the wall in a way that could imply like...corruption or something.

But i kept heading towards the stairs and when i got down them i woke up.

Im pretty rattled mentally by it because ive had nightmares before but its been a very long time since a nightmare genuinely shook me and made me wake up thinking "oh thank fuck it was a nightmare and not real"

Im not sure if it has to do with watchinf Motivational Growth earlier in the day with friends or just like...internalized fears of being seen as hidious wnd disgustinf and thus being abandoned or what.

[maurenislife]

Miss martyr

Sir scapegoat

That is me

I wish that man blew my brains apart in that parking lot

Or when i almost had my heartrate slow down n die in my sleep off beans

Or the one time i passed out in my kitchen

What about the time i tried to jump out my window

Or the one time i tried to leap in front of a car

Jealous of me in my dreams im always dying or choosing too, getting stabbed to death while somebody looks me in my eyes n my life dont flash, it cut to black

I live pathetic existence

Like only so many times i can get up n recover or pick up my pieces n put them all back together with no regrets or like putting it back together confidently like this rlly me

Or am I overdramatic mellow dramatic

Like is it all a mixup

Till i review the footage in my brain of last 25 years

And everything stings like it happened yesterday even when im sober nothing rlly comes together my brain is a empty apartment with no where to sit, just standing there, wondering where everyone is, when is anybody coming back?

Does anybody care enough to sit n listen n care for 0$.

Everything comes at a exchanging price

When the personalities all collide

It makes one empty person,

When u finally show people how empty it is, look around when there truly is nothing more to see then its time to go

All the exes get to peak inside and see that its just as fucked up n blank in here.

How having no mother figure truly makes u feel a bit withdrawn i dont have her checking in she could rlly care less i see why im not doing anything worthy but breathing n taking up space n money by being alive

Im sure thats how my dad feels too, just preserving my body my entity cause its the proper thing to do.

Alot of things truly mean nothing

Not money, not the car being paid off, not the nicest fit or hair its to cover up all the stuff i know ill never recieve cause it cant be bought u cant buy love or warmth or a soul or innocence or buy back anything literally forced outta me.

Its now just me

Gotta worry bout me

Why u do fake pills maybe a lucky one will take me out this life, put me in the infinite sleep cycle,

So peaceful thinking about the day u wont be here.

My biggest mistake was ever rlly just not playing the role i know how to play well,

Zip it!

Everything done to me is sad no doubt

But whats sadder is i truly believed my prayers worked i never pray yanno im like omg somebodies listening to me besides

Doris and its not true there is no god for me

Devil ingrained the future for me long time ago, suffering since just in the pit of my stomach i stand in the empty small space. I stare in the room

Its just me again void is unfillable

Once my grandma leave this earth i will do the same maybe not now, I threaten kms all the time cause its peaceful

This life is full of broken promises and people willing to make them knowing theres only one promise

Death

Love isnt promised unless u love yourself

I can touch my hand in the mirror n still feel bad for the reflection

I know im not the prettiest the funniest or the bestest im literally on bottom of my own shoe

Shes terrible, i can be replaced with better

I can do better i can try harder but its the void right there, it doesnt care what you may do, who u are. Ur void is the never ending pocket of what u will never have.

I wanted all the pathetically dumb shit

[kailspider]

Nightmare (Sam Winchester x Reader)

Summary: As the reader and the Winchester brothers continue their hunts, Sam constantly wakes up with nightmares and they try to put an end to it.

Warning: Scary imagery, Slight gore describing, mention of torture

AN: Thank you so much for all the likes on my last post, as a starter account that means the world. I hope you all enjoy, Im happy to take any requests!

The rumble of the impala’s tires on the road was a constant noise in the back of my head. I sat with my computer in my lap simply researching the next  haunting we were headed to. I rose my head from the dimmed screen and found dean, he was fixated on the emptiness of the road in front of him. I shifted my eyes to the right and found sam fast asleep with his head pressed all the way back on the headrest. You could tell he was exhausted when his mouth was wide open.

“You know, I could switch with you so you can get some rest as well” I said almost in a hush not wanting to wake the other brother.

Dean pushed a deep breath out of his nose and simply nodded no. I can't blame him, this is how he relaxes when something seriously shakes him up. I turned my attention back to my laptop when I heard a struggling breath come out of Sams mouth.

I immediately shut my laptop and gave him my full attention. Dean just glanced as if this was a usual occurrence. The thought of waking him up was my first choice but I couldn’t help but wonder as to what he was dreaming of. The noise was heard again but louder. I slowly put my hand on his shoulder to let him know someone was there by his side, just in case he was having a bad dream;

*SAMS DREAM POV*

I was tied to a chair, my shirt was covered in blood but I didn't know if it was mine or someone else's. I was in a dim room and completely alone.

The sound of steel doors opening filled the back of my head, I searched frantically for someone to help me but not a soul could be found. I attempted to scream for help but the cloth in my mouth made it a mumbled mess and sounded more like a grunt. I was kicking and yanking my hands and legs to break the rope that bound me.

As my exhaustion got the best of me, I saw a pair of glowing red eyes staring at me in the corner. The big figure walked towards me and I knew it was a demon immediately .The long nails the entity had found its way towards the nearest wall making a deafening scratching sound. 

The demon was so close in proximity that I could feel the freezing air pocket of energy it gave off. I heard someone begin to talk then right before my eyes the face of the demon morphed. Dad? no, this was more familiar. Dean. Why would he have red eyes? I wanted answers quickly.

Before I could question if this was real, Dean began saying things and hurting me physically. He wanted answers to questions I was clueless to and he tormented me when I didn't go far enough. After what seemed like years of this torture, the demon sighed and requested I give him what he wanted or he was going to go after something bigger, like (y/n). 

(y/n) appeared out of thin air bonded with tape and rope. It was so hard to see them get hurt like that. I wanted to do everything in my power to make it stop but I couldn't, I was helpless. Tears streamed down my face fighting for (y/n) to get up. There was so much gore and things I never wanted to see happen to them.

All of a sudden I felt like I was being pulled out of a pool, the pressure and sense of relief filled my body when I realized I was awake and dean was shaking me.

*Y/N POV*

I had witnessed sam fighting for his life in his sleep, I was begging dean to wake him up before he hurt himself. The words that were leaving sams mouth sounded terrifying, What was dean doing to him? Why was I helpless? 

I snapped out of it when I heard dean, 

“Sammy! wake up kid, you're scaring the shit out of (y/n)” he said sounding worried.

I turned towards sam who had a look of relief that he was awake. He was sweaty and seemed to flinch away from deans touch, but I reached out to stop him. His teary eyes turned towards the backseat where I was, he put his head down where my hands rested and didn't say a word. 

I didn't hear the whole conversation because I was so worried but it sounded like dean was telling sam he had enough of these episodes, and he needed help from us. Sam kept his head down trying to regain his composure.

We soon arrived at the motel for the night. We all shuffled in quietly not wanting to push sam over the limit with our questions. I dropped my bag on the floor and prepared the couch for sleeping. As dean stepped outside to take a phone call from bobby, I stared at a quiet sam who sat on the corner of his bed.

I cleared my throat, “hey sam I know you don't want to tal-” 

but was cut off by him pushing off the bed and storming out of the room. I sighed but knew I should leave him be, I continued to get ready and even warmed up a blanket for sam in the steam of my hot shower.

After, I went to lay down when I noticed both brothers tucked away in their separate beds. I grabbed the warm blanket and softly draped it over his wide body. When I was walking away I heard sam's voice softly call out to me, 

“y/n”

I turned my head to see his red puffy eyes and swollen cheeks, he had definitely been crying again. I made my way towards him and sat down in the empty space waiting for him to speak. He turned towards me and wiped his hot tears away from his nose, simply saying,

“I don't want to have another nightmare, please sleep next to me. I need to know someone is here”

 I grabbed the covers and pulled them over both of us without any questions.  He simply pulled me towards his body and didn't let go the whole night. 

[palette-jack]

Is there an informational post/write up about the ark species? I cant help but wonder about things like their anatomy/biology i.e do they need to eat/sleep/produce waste, how do they reproduce? Do they propagate like plants,"build" their offspring, require a partner or reproduce asexually. If its the later are they live births/eggs etc? And what about their culture? do they have courtship rituals? All these questions are swirling in my head XD(and yes im 100% onboard for the Val romance XD)

Hello! Thank you for the question :D

Since this is really long, I’ll keep it below the cut.

Minor spoilers!

So; arks all look wildly different. So much so that they could easily be mistaken for separate species. Like, while one might look like a jellyfish, another might look like a metal whale, and a third is just a boot-leg Enterprise. But, regardless of appearance, they all share certain traits.

First; Arks are psionic. They’re not just a physical entity, but an ephemeral one as well.

But their psionics are weird. If you have a decently-high psi skill, there’s a scene in chapter 3(?) where you can meditate to get a sense of things. If you do so, you’ll get text like this:

“Most minds make sense, if only from a distance. Tangled balls of thoughts and feelings, lodged in every skull, leaking emotions and bleeding dreams. Even across species, sentient minds are more alike than not- hell, even animals aren't that different from people.”

“Most minds make sense. Not so much this one.”

And…

“Most minds are like tide pools, each full of their own thoughts, their own little ecosystems, emotions swirling like seawater. But this felt so much bigger. A pond, a lake-“

“An ocean all its own.”

Second; Food. Arks will snag comet-chunks and mineral-rich asteroid-bits every now and then, which they will either rapidly breakdown to facilitate repair, or store and slowly digest to promote their own growth. While this is the main source of their mass, arks can also break down their crew’s garbage to supplement it. For small arks, this is not a big deal, but large arks with large crews generate a lot of recyclable refuse.

(Also, they don’t really produce waste like we do? Like all creatures native to the void of space, their bodies are very efficient. For arks, when they “digest” things; if they can’t recycle it, it gets broken down completely into energy. The only waste they produce is “slag,” which is anything that they can’t or won’t break down all the way. Like something toxic to them. Slag just gets dumped.)

Third; Arks are intensely symbiotic, far beyond just eating their crew’s food scraps and melting down their plastics. All of the ambient psychic energy that their crew generates just by living- emotions and dreaming generate the most- is harmlessly siphoned off. Like how a plant uses your CO2. Arks use it to maintain their own health and well-being.

(The full extent of this symbiosis, as well as the benefits/side effects on the crew, are spoilers.)

While this energy keeps them going, it does not account for all the energy present in their bodies. Not even a quarter of it. This relates to how…

Fourth; nobody actually knows where arks are getting all that energy from. They can absorb stuff like sunlight and radiation out in space, but there is absolutely nothing going on that can explain how they’re able to generate entire wormholes.

Fifth: Reproduction! They don’t reproduce sexually, instead doing so through something similar to parthenogenesis.

Since space is so big, arks can’t rely on the same mechanics of evolution we do. Their genetic code changes throughout their lives/travels, and can even be edited by the arks themselves.

When arks meet each other out in the wild, they will email each other their genetic code, which they can each use to create their own baby or babies. Or they can just keep the info and do nothing- it’s their choice.

The ark gestational period is measured in years, if not decades, but is something that the parent can put on hold at any time. The babies are born live, rather than in eggs. The amount of babies produced in one gestation depends on both the size of the parent and how much of their own resources they can dedicate to reproduction. For example, a small or starving ark would struggle to make one baby, while a massive ark with lots of asteroids around for them to eat could have a dozen babies in one go.

(And they can technically reproduce without a partner, but the sheer amount of time, energy, and materials required for arks to make babies means that they have to be very careful about not passing on genetic anomalies or illnesses. Like how you wouldn’t build a house on sand. Having two or more sets of DNA from the parents keeps the babies healthy.)

(If you play Mass Effect, it’s similar to why Asari try to avoid having babies with other Asari. Bad things can happen when they double up on that DNA.)

Once the DNA is sent, the arks will generally never meet each other again. Once the baby is born, it sticks around with the parent ark (and its crew) until its ready to live on its own.

(That’s not to say that none of them ever stick together. Each ark is different, and some may very well mate for life or remain with their parent forever.)

Sixth; Culture! They don’t have one that you or I would be able to recognize as a culture. It’s certainly there, it just doesn’t happen on a scale that we can truly understand. This is thanks to three things; their ridiculous lifespans, their isolation from one another, and their powers.

The DNA Exchange that arks do when they meet each other- the same thing that lets them have kids- isn’t just genetic information. They also pass along memory chunks, both useful and useless information, bits of their personality, and everything else that they want the other to know. They basically pack years-worth of knowing each other into a single email. And since they live so long, they’re also passing along the same info from all the other arks that they’ve exchanged with.

Like, imagine you high-five a guy, and you suddenly learn that he like long walks on the beach, hates the color orange, and also his grandpa killed hitchhikers in the 70’s. That’s what the exchange is like.

This is sort of its own courtship ritual, I guess? If they don’t like the info they get from the exchange, then they won’t use it to make a baby.

Anyway, that infodump ended up a lot longer than I thought lol. I’m glad you’re excited for the Val romance :D I hope you have a nice day!

[germvity]

RISES THE MOON

leon s kennedy x reader // 4 // new solutions

"asshole.." leon hisses as the entity takes it's leave. "leon! are you alright." you rush to pamper the blonde as he sits up. "i'm fine, don't worry." leon flushes red, getting up and offering you his hand. "come on, lets get some rest, hm?" he smiles, and you take his hand to follow him into the woods.

genre: fluff with the most miniscule smidge of smut (not really but its there), angst

tags: alcohol/drinking, reader being a clingy drunk <3, crying, cuddles!, leon tryna be smooth 😭✋, the entity trying to be nice, head pats for leon <3 this chapter might be a bit shorter im sorry :(

warnings: alcohol consumption, crying, my slow burn </3, almost smut, nightmares with comfort

---

your sat on your cot waiting for leon to get back from trials. "hello." a familiar voice chimed. you look up, seeing a claw with a small, tattered basket. "i brought you a gift. whilst it is against my personal rules to interfere with survivors and killer's behaviour... i feel like i have to apologise thst you're being targeted and not being treated fairly." the entity purrs, it's silky voice sending a tremble down your spine. "what's the catch..?" you ask, leaning away from the basket. "no catch, my mouse. take my gift." the claw moved towards you and you flinch, too used to the appendage stabbing you to take your life in trials. shaky hands grasp the basket carefully, pulling it from the claw's hooked figure. "enjoy. perhaps share it with mr. kennedy. he's almost out and i know you two are growing close." you can hear the entity's 'smile' as it raises through the gap in the rundown shack. "thank you..?" you reply, placing the basket on your cot in front of you as you stare at it in wonder.

eventually, curiosity gets the better of you and you lean towards the basket. slowly, you peel the cloth back and gasp. a bottle of whiskey sat nestled in the cloth. a grin finds your lips as you lift the bottle carefully. you felt like if you weren't careful, the bottle would leave you. "holy shit." you giggle, popping the cap off with a spare screwdriver from your toolbox. giving the bottle a sniff, you confirm it is in fact whiskey. after finding that out, you immediately take a swig, welcoming the burn happily. "fuck, that's really good..!" your eyelids flutter with pleasure as the whiskey settles warmly in your stomach. you can't help but drink a bit more, then a bit more, and then more. leon wouldn't mind, right?

"y/n..?" leon calls carefully, peeking into your abode to see if you were finished with your own trials. "leon!" you beam, making grabby hands at him. "uhh... y/n?" leon furrows his brows in confusion, unsure what happened to you. normally you were quiet, not wanting to get in the way in fear he would yell at you yet now you were loud, smiling and bubbly. "c'mere..!" you whine, urging him to join you. "ah." leon sighs, spotting the empty whiskey bottle on your bed. "and where did you get this?" he asks, picking up the bottle and setting it on the floor. "entity gave me a gift." you smile, grabbing his wrist to pull him down onto your bed. leon gave an unsure hum, settling down next to you. "i've missed you." you giggle, clambering onto leon's lap and helping him take off his bullet proof vest before wrapping your arms around his neck to latch onto him. leon's arms find your waist as he lets you settle on him with red cheeks. "i- uh... i missed you too." the blonde replies, rubbing your back gently. you hum happily, nuzzling your face against leon's cheek, your fingers tangling with his hair as you cuddle him. "you feeling okay?" leon asks softly, subconsciously pulling you closer. "mhm!" you nod, giving leon's neck a soft kiss.

the officer gasps at the feeling, face heating up. "y/n." he says, but you keep going. "y/n, no. i don't wanna do this to you." leon huffs, going to move you away but your limbs wrapped around him tightened as your weight pulled him on top of you when you lay back. "please.." you pout, cupping his face. "y/n, you're drunk." leon sighs, untangling your legs so he could sit up. you sigh too, sitting up as you lean back against your wall to pull your knees up. "sorry..." you mumble, not making eye contact with the flustered blonde. "it's okay.." leon replies awkwardly, glancing at you. "i just... wanna feel happy for once." you admit. resting your head on your knees. "i know. i just feel like i'll be taking advantage of you whilst you're in this state." leon admits, moving over to you when he realises you're crying. leon pulls you back onto his lap, coddling you as you cry. "it'll get better. c'mere. just breathe, yeah?" leon soothes, rubbing your back. you sniffle in a stuttered breath, looping your arms under leon's own to cling onto him tightly. "i just wanna go home.." you sob, letting him wipe your tears as you whimper into his chest. leon sighs, combing his fingers through your hair to try and soothe you. "we're just gonna have to make the most of this whilst we're here." leon shrugs, resting his head on top of yours. "take me home, i really wanna go home." you wail, and leon closes his eyes.

"we're gonna make it through this, y/n." leon says, laying down with you as you wipe your eyes. "come on, get some rest, hm?" he continues, cupping your cheek as he rests his forehead against yours. you slowly calm as you cuddle into him, grasping his shirt tightly with balled up fists of the fabric. "feel better?" he asks softly, wrapping his arms tightly around you. "a little.." you mumble, eyes still hazy with alcohol. "good... keep taking deep breaths." leon whispers, stroking your cheek comfortingly. you hum with content, happy with the contact. "sleepy?" leon asks teasingly as he smiles. "mmm, maybe.." you giggle, moving to nestle your head under his chin.

"leon?" you ask quietly, and leon instantly hums in response. "you won't leave me, will you?" you mumble, eyes drooping as you wait for his response. "never. i'll always keep you safe. i'm not going anytime soon." he smiles, kissing the top of your head. "mmm, thank you. you're so good.." you yawn, "such a good boy." you smile, and leon flushes red. "thanks." he chuckles, rubbing your back as you doze off. "god... you're so cute." leon mumbles, kissing your head again. "ah? did you say somethin'?" you drawl sleepily. "no, i didn't say anything. go back to sleep." leon soothes you, and you settle again quickly. the blonde lets out a soft breath, coddling you tightly as you sleep. "you deserve so much better than this." leon mumbles, his thumb gently stroking your bottom lip as he looks at you. "so cute..." he smiles, giving your nose a soft kiss.

you sniffle, making a small noise before nuzzling closer to him, your hands slipping around his chest to hold the fabric on his back instead as you shuffle closer. "you're so adorable." he continues, letting you snuggle into his neck. "god, why do i feel like this...?" he whispers to himself, unsure what to do with his feelings as you continue dreaming. "i shouldn't feel like this." leon sighs, his hands idly rubbing circles on your back as his fingers massage your scalp.

knowing he is in over his head, leon gives up on thinking and lets his own eyes flutter closed as he also tries to doze off. "leon..?" you mumble softly, and the officer hums looking at you. however, you were still sleeping and he furrows his brows. "y/n?" leon mumbles to you, and you shuffle slightly. "leon?" you whimper, tightening your hold on him. instead of answering, the blonde man decides to observe instead. "leon!" you seem to be getting more distressed, and his protective nature flares. "hey, hey. i'm right here. it's okay, i'm right here." leon replies to your call, and watches you slowly soothe. "i'm still here, darling." he whispers again for good measure and you fall into a peaceful slumber once more.

the officer sighs, keeping you close as he slowly starts to settle himself. eventually, leon falls asleep himself, rolling over with you so you were between him and the wall of the shack. you mumble incoherently at the movement, eyelids fluttering as you stir. yet, leon's deep breathing and soothing heartbeat makes you fall asleep once more.

[stxphxn-strange]

playing pretend

a/n: hello hello hello! i have a prompt fill for this Dark!Stephen AU from @ironstrangeprompts and im just gonna post it before i can start second guessing my writing lmao

tw: mentions of torture, injury, implied past abuse

Prompt: Dark!Stephen AU. The avengers never really notice Stephen’s pacifist to-a-fault superheroing style until one day a magical incident corrupts him/magical entity possesses him. They’re treated to a completely unhinged and lethal Stephen, the avengers realize just how much Stephen was holding back, what with his quick work dispatching all of them, resulting in very heavy injuries. However, he takes special interest with Tony Stark, whom he has been dating for a few months now. He has Tony all strung up in the middle of the battlefield in front of the other broken and beaten avengers, he taunts and tortures him. “Being a doctor and a sorcerer is so very useful, I can break you in very precise manners, put you back together and then do it again.” When he gets bored of Tony’s screams and decides to end him permanently, Stephen suddenly snaps back to normal. The real Stephen has been battling internally to gain back control, knowing that he’s about to kill the love of his life gives him the final push to break free. He portals them all to safety and to receive medical help. Cue heavy angst and Stephen trying to make it up to them but especially Tony, who insists that everything is fine and that he knows it wasn’t the real Stephen. However they both know that Tony is just putting up a brave front and is undoubtedly traumatized by the incident. Up to the author on if they want to end it in a bleak or hopeful tone.

It took Tony a few minutes to register his surroundings when he woke up. He wasn’t lying in a makeshift coffin of bent metal, broken bones, and the ruins of the building. The familiar baritone, the melody of his waking world, wasn’t hollow and cruelly taunting him. Stephen sounded like himself, soothing and loving and reassuring but worried and tired all the same. Tony heard guilt in his partner’s voice, delineating his dream, his memory, from the present. He wanted to follow that voice, the real Stephen’s voice, and leave the past behind them. Guilt was eating away at Stephen as he tried to calm Tony down and wake him up. He defaulted to the standard promises and phrases when Tony had nightmares, but this time was different. This time Stephen was the cause of the nightmare, and he knew it. No matter how much Tony said it wasn’t his fault, that everything was okay, Stephen knew he had to repair the pieces of Tony’s trust he’d obliterated.

Tony thrashed again in his sleep, feebly kicking the air in front of him just like he did on the battlefield. “Stop!”

“Sweetheart,” Stephen began, unsure of what to say. “Tony, wake up. You’re safe, no one will hurt you.”

“Stephen!” Tony groaned and thrashed again, his eyes still shut as he fought to wake up. “This isn’t you… don’t do this.”

Stephen barely held back tears as he spoke again. “It’s over Tony, I’m back. I’m me again. I won’t hurt you, I promise I’ll never hurt you as long as I live.”

Tony was shaking when he finally woke up, unsure if he was even breathing. He opened his eyes hastily, studying the look on Stephen’s face. Stephen looked concerned, even worried, but unsure of himself as he murmured soothing nonsense to Tony.

“Breathe, Tones,” Stephen said. “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry. It’ll be okay, I promise. Just breathe, we’re alright. I’ll leave you be once I’m sure you’re okay, and—”

Tony wrapped his arms around Stephen and hugged him tightly. “Don’t you dare. Don’t go… please don’t go Stephen.”

“I can’t risk scaring you again Tony. I’ve already hurt you enough, it’s not fair to keep putting you through this,” Stephen argued, fighting his urge to hug Tony back.

Tony only held on tighter, determined not to let Stephen leave.

Stephen still wanted to disappear, but he quickly understood that Tony wouldn’t let him go that easily. The mechanic was still shivering and trembling, slowly starting to calm down as Stephen hesitantly hugged him back.

++++

They both woke up at the same time, almost four days later. Stephen woke up slowly, feeling like he was underwater or in a fog, while Tony started awake across town.

It was pitch dark in the room, the heavy curtains drawn shut to keep out any intrusive light. It was the middle of the day, judging by the clock Stephen kept on his nightstand, but he couldn’t feel the sun on his face, or see any light from his window. He was bathing in pitch black. At first, he thought he was dead, doomed to an eternity in darkness, when something red bloomed and came to life beside him. Even now, his Cloak was always dramatic, comforting as it covered him like a blanket.

As his eyes adjusted, Stephen registered Wong and Christine on the other side of the room, just studying him.

Christine was the first to meet his stare, rushing to his bedside. “How do you feel?”

Stephen grimaced in pain as he shrugged. “Not great, thanks.” There was something else on his mind, but he was too afraid to ask. He was almost too scared to hear the answer.

Luckily, Wong spoke up before Stephen could ask. “You slept for three and a half days, Strange. How much do you remember?”

“Something attacked the Compound… I think it was me,” he mumbled.

“Not exactly,” Wong began, gentler than Stephen had ever heard him.

“Possessed or not, I still attacked!” Stephen sat up, paying the price as he rose quicker than his body could handle. “It doesn’t matter if I saved everyone, not if I almost killed them first.”

Neither Wong nor Christine spoke, and the cloak simply wrapped tighter around Stephen’s shoulders.

“You did save everyone,” Wong said finally. “And you banished whatever entity possessed you. We still haven’t figured out what it is, but…”

Wong’s voice trailed off as Stephen stopped listening. His head started to hurt as he remembered, in searing detail, more of what happened and what caused him to snap out of the state he was in.

Tony was near silent, his voice failing him after hours of tortured screams. Somewhere, somehow, Stephen knew that he was the one hurting him, the one causing Tony so much pain even though he promised never to hurt the hero. He wanted to stop, to end all of the carnage he’d brought to the Compound, to his friends who were starting to feel like family, to Tony… but he couldn’t. The hand controlling his impulsive strings was strong and steady, and it wouldn’t rest until Stephen finished its bidding.

His movements were mechanical as he strode, like the marionette he’d become, to stand in front of Tony.

And Tony just looked at him with a defeated, almost calm look on his face.

Stephen’s voice sounded distorted when he spoke, preening with a twisted smile as he bent to look upon the man of iron. “Accepted your fate?”

“You won’t be the first person I’ve loved who’s hurt me,” Tony said, between pained breaths. “There’s nothing to say.”

Stephen tried to back up, to keep himself still, but he couldn’t fight the influence of his controller and struck Tony again. “Arrogance is unbecoming.”

Tony inhaled again, deeper and more pained this time but somehow even calmer. “Go ahead and finish the job. I won’t hold it against you, Stephen.”

Stephen was hyperventilating when he heard Wong’s voice again, pressed against the headboard of his bed like he was backed into a corner.

Christine approached him tentatively, resting her hand on one of his shoulders.

Stephen recoiled away from the touch and curled up on himself like a turtle retreating in its shell. He ducked his head under a pillow, shaking in fear and pain from moving too quickly. “Did I… did I kill him? I remember everything until I was about to… please tell me I—”

“You didn’t.” Christine cut him off, hoping to keep her friend from spiraling further. “Wong said you saved everyone, and that includes Tony.”

Stephen sobbed just hearing his partner’s name. Guilt wracked his entire body as he cried harder and harder, his magic running through his veins. Was he not this exhausted, he’d probably set fire to something from his high levels of stress and fear, but all he could do was cry until he fell into painful sleep.

++++

He didn’t finish it.

He didn’t listen.

Tony remembered the horrified look he saw on Stephen’s face, the remorse in his eyes as he sent a vaguely corporeal figure of dark energy through a portal.

Tony remembered the way Stephen apologized again and again as his eyes started closing, overwhelmed by the pain seizing his mind and body. A part of him hoped that Stephen had listened, that maybe the last thing he’d see in this life would be the face he’d come to absolutely adore…

… But he’d woken up sometime later in the MedBay, wanting to see Stephen more than anything. In spite of everything that’d just happened, or maybe because of everything that’d just happened, all Tony really wanted was to go back to sleep, preferably in his partner’s embrace. That really didn’t seem like too much to ask for.

“How are you feeling, Mr. Stark?”

Tony almost didn’t notice Peter pacing around on the ceiling, in fact he didn’t know his pseudo son was even in the room until he suddenly landed a few feet away. “I feel great, Kid. Definitely not like I took a ton of bricks to the face.” He didn’t remember the gory details of the fight, so Tony couldn’t say whether or not he was being literal.

“Welcome back, Boss,” FRIDAY said, a hint of worry in her voice. “And good morning. It’s currently half nine on Tuesday. I’ve been asked to inform you that Col. Rhodes has returned from Washington and has volunteered to lead all reconstruction projects for the Compound. He’s also asked me to keep you updated and will be coming to see you this afternoon.”

Tony sighed. “Thank you. Wait… that means Rhodey came back early?”

“He did,” FRIDAY replied simply. Her voice sounded like what a nod looked like as she continued. “Would you like me to tell him that you asked about him?”

“Sure, but don’t bother him. He doesn’t have to rush to see me,” Tony replied, knowing that Rhodey would probably come anyway. He was maybe the one exception to what Tony had told Stephen earlier, before…

“Col. Rhodes will be here within the hour,” FRIDAY announced.

“Thanks Fri.”

Peter, who had started pacing on the ceiling again, asked what Tony had been wondering since he woke up. “Where’s the Doc?”

“I dunno, Pete. I’ve been wondering that myself,” Tony admitted. “Fri, you wouldn’t happen to know… would you?”

“As far as I can tell, Doctor Strange returned to the Sanctum following the… altercation… on Thursday,” the AI reported.

“What? Altercation? What happened?” Peter landed on the floor again, looking more worried than Tony thought he deserved to.

“There was just a small wizarding mishap, don’t worry about it,” Tony said. He shrugged, trying to reassure Peter as much as he could. “Not even an emergency, Underoos. We would’ve called for you if it was.”

Tony also didn’t want Peter to see what happened. Maybe he was sheltering the kid, but he didn’t want Peter to ever find out about the attack on the Compound. It was bad enough that the team, even in their varied states of consciousness, saw what they did. They saw the fear in Tony’s eyes, saw him slowly surrender to Stephen’s ruthless attacks until he just stopped trying to fight the sorcerer. Tony knew he couldn’t parry these magical attacks, couldn’t break the spelled restraints… but he didn’t want Peter to see how easily he’d given up.

If Peter had more to say, he simply chose not to ask about it. Instead he just shrugged. “Glad you’re okay, Mr. Stark. May heard from Pepper that you got hurt, so I wanted to swing by… no pun intended.”

“How many times do I have to tell you that calling me ‘Tony’ is fine?” Tony asked, rolling his eyes warmly. “I’m fine, Pete. Not up for working in the lab today, I’m afraid, but—”

“That’s okay! My suit isn’t going anywhere, we can upgrade anytime,” Peter replied. “I promised May I’d be home for movie night, but I just wanted to come see you.”

Tony smiled softly. “You’re a good kid, Son. Get home safe, and I’ll give you a call when I’m back in working condition.”

“Thanks IronDad!” Peter was gone in a second, leaving Tony in the quiet with his thoughts.

“Fri?” He asked after a few minutes.

“Still here, Boss.”

“Will you… will you tell Stephen I want to see him?” Tony asked.

Maybe he was the spoiled brat everyone believed, or maybe he was exhausted and touch starved and showing signs of an addictive personality. Tony didn’t know, he didn’t care, and he just wanted his sorcerer back.

“I’ll let him know,” FRIDAY replied, softer than normal.

++++

“Stephen, it’s been days. Days since the attack, days since you holed yourself up in my library like you’re going into hibernation—”

“Good morning to you too, Wong.”

Wong may have laughed at Stephen’s attitude if he didn’t feel so bad for him. Stephen was completely out of it, so much so that he didn’t even realize how late in the day it was. “It’s almost eight, Strange.”

Stephen just sighed. “Did you need something from me?”

“Stark is asking for you again. I think you should see him.”

“You said that yesterday,” Stephen muttered.

“I’m saying it again now. I know you, Stephen, I can read you like any book in here.” Wong began. “You’re trying to outrun your guilt but you know it’s not that easy. Ignoring Tony isn’t going to make things go away, and it’s not going to make either of you feel better. He misses you, and I know you miss him too.”

“I don’t know how I can even look at him after what I did… he trusted me,” Stephen whispered, looking down at his lap. “I broke his trust.”

“Not willingly, and he knows that,” Wong reminded him. “It wasn’t you, Stephen.”

Stephen ignored him, beginning to tremble as he thought back to what Tony had said to him. “He told me he wouldn’t hold it against me… that I wasn’t the first of his loved ones to hurt him. I don’t know what I could do or say to prove to him, let alone to the team, that I’d never hurt them again.”

“Hiding away in here isn’t helping to prove that,” Wong said.

“You just want your chair by the window back,” Stephen accused him.

“Of course I do! But I also care about you and your happiness. If you need anyone to vouch for you, I’ll be here,” Wong replied.

“That sounds like you’ve made up my mind for me.”

“I have. Go now, before it gets too late.”

Stephen opened a portal to the tower, just outside of the lab. “I doubt Tony would be asleep, he’s always awake.”

His suspicions were confirmed as he closed the portal. Tony was in his lab where Stephen thought he’d be, a mug in one hand and a pen in the other.

Stephen’s entire body trembled with nerves as he opened the door, the cloak knocking loudly and dramatically to make his presence known.

“FRIDAY, Quiet Place Protocol please,” Tony said. He looked up and smiled sadly at Stephen as the lab’s usual blaring music shut off. “Hi.”

“Hey.” Stephen suddenly didn’t know what to do with himself. He was too scared to get any closer to Tony, afraid to hurt him, but at the same time all he wanted was to hug him.

The cloak made the first move, flying off of his shoulders and resting on Tony’s.

“Aww, hi Levy.” Of course Tony had a nickname for the relic, he had nicknames for everything and everyone.

Stephen found it annoying in the most heartwarming way, and he couldn’t help but smile as Tony sat down at his workbench.

“You can come over, you know?” Tony asked, half teasingly. “I told you I don’t bite, Steph.”

Stephen felt like a marionette again as he walked towards his boyfriend, but his heart was in control this time. He wanted to protect, to cherish, and to spoil the man in front of him with nothing but love and attention. He was just afraid, still unsure of himself as he studied Tony’s face. “I’m sorry.”

“Hey… I know.” Tony opened his palms on his lap, silently asking to hold Stephen’s hands.

Stephen let him, trembling harder as Tony held him gently. “I don’t know what happened, Tony. Something took over me, and I couldn’t stop it. I’ve never been overpowered like that before, and I didn’t know what to do. But please listen when I say that I promise it’ll never happen again, I mean that’s a given if you leave me, but—”

“I’m not leaving you,” Tony said firmly. “I know you weren’t voluntarily doing all of those things.”

“I never, ever wanted to hurt you. I still don’t want to hurt you.”

“You didn’t.”

“Tony…” Stephen took a deep breath, trying to steady himself. “Tony I could’ve killed you. The entire time I was trying to break the curse, to get that thing out of my system, I almost killed you. And you almost let me do it.”

“I did.”

Stephen didn’t know what to say. Tony had that calm, accepting look on his face mixed with a kind, trusting expression. It was the same look he’d given Stephen in the ruins of the Compound, and it hurt. It didn’t feel like an apology would be enough to make things right, but what else was there to do now? “I’m sorry, Tony.”

Tony slid his arms around Stephen’s waist and pulled him into the hug they’d both been needing. “I’m fine baby, it’s okay. It’s over.”

Stephen knew it wasn’t just over, and he knew Tony knew it too. But in the moment he was too fatigued to fight about it and let Tony hold him closer. “Have you been sleeping?”

“Trying to,” Tony replied. “Not to be cheesy or whatnot, but I do sleep better with you next to me.”

“May I take you to bed?” Stephen asked, sounding even shyer than when he normally asked that. “Please? I know it’s early, but I wouldn’t object to a nap.”

Tony nodded, shifting to press a chaste kiss to Stephen’s lips. “That sounds nice. FRIDAY, save and shut everything off please.”

“Engaging ‘You Shall Not Pass’ protocol, Boss,” FRIDAY reported dutifully.

Tony scoffed. “Remind me to never let you and Peter give Fri name suggestions again.”

“You could just change it if it bothers you that much.” Stephen chose to remind Tony of that instead, even though they both knew Tony was secretly fond of the movie references hidden in his protocols. “Besides, that serves you right for calling me Gandalf all the time.”

“If the shoe fits, babe,” Tony said. He stood up, keeping an arm wrapped around Stephen’s waist as they left the lab and headed for the elevators.

Despite feeling safe and loved in Tony’s arms, more than he could have ever hoped to be and probably more than he deserved, Stephen was still anxious. He felt out of place in the Tower, never mind the fact that he usually spent half of his time there, and he felt even more out of place amongst the team.

“How are the others?” He asked quietly, afraid to hear the answer.

“They’re getting better.” Tony saw no point in sugarcoating the truth. Stephen would see right through it, and that wouldn’t help him process everything. “Carol and Thor are both bored of training with each other, but no one else wants to spar with either of them yet. Or with Natasha, for that matter.”

“Does anyone ever want to spar with them on a good day?” Stephen asked, trying to keep the mood light.

“You’re all a bunch of sore losers who can’t rise to a friendly challenge” Natasha quipped, suddenly materializing in front of the couple. “Tony, what’s going on?”

“What do you mean?”

“Why is he here?”

“Natasha, I—”

Natasha pointedly ignored Stephen. She never disliked the sorcerer, she was actually indifferent and had no issues telling Tony that, but Tony’s trustful, rather soft nature was a concern of hers. It worked in her favor, sure, but she was really trying to be a better friend to Tony and look out for him more. It was this concern that motivated her to look at Stephen with disgust. Natasha wasn’t scared of him, she took heavy damage in the attacks but it was more minimal compared to some of the things she’d put his friends and family through.

Tony was acting as if none of that happened, and that couldn’t stand.

Natasha frowned and glared at Stephen as she addressed Tony. “Tony what the hell are you doing?”

“I’m not—”

“Don’t play dumb and tell me you’re not following. What are you still doing with him? You barely sleep more than an hour without waking everyone up screaming from phantom pain and nightmares! Do you think we can’t hear you yelling and begging for Stephen to stop torturing you and just kill you? Because we all do!” Natasha took a deep breath, pinching the bridge of her nose. “And after all that, you’re holding him like nothing is wrong? I don’t understand how you can be so forgiving sometimes.”

She stormed off before Stephen could defend himself or before Tony could respond. Her words echoed in Stephen’s head as Tony continued to lead him down the hallway, into the elevator, and into the penthouse.

Stephen sat dejectedly on the bed as Tony shuffled around the room, grabbing a few blankets from the closet. He didn’t say anything as Tony made a little nest of pillows and blankets, the cloak joining the haphazard pile the minute Tony curled up under a throw. Eventually Stephen allowed himself to lay down, offering no protests as Tony hugged him again.

“I’m sorry,” he apologized again, mumbling into the soft fabric of Tony’s shirt.

“I know,” Tony said simply. “Relax sweetheart, it’s okay.”

He was still tense, curling up smaller in Tony’s arms. “Are you okay?” The sorcerer asked.

“I’m fine,” Tony reassured him. That was half true. He was fine, to a point, but there were things bothering him that he had no idea how to tell Stephen about.

Eventually they would have to face the music and talk about everything, and they both knew it. For now, Tony was somewhat okay with ignoring it, clinging to the hope that having his Stephen back would keep the memories at bay.

Tags: @stark-strange-love2 @salty-ironstrange-shipper @funkylittlebidiot @richieleeparker @chocopiggy @hatakehikari @taruyison 

[segatoys]

time to talk about my dream last night in which i possessed a selfish dickhead cat guy. this post is loooong so theres stuff under the cut... but id appreciate u uys reading it cause i think i found something quite cool and neat

this is R. cant rememebr the rest of his name but it started with R. in this dream he wasnt me, its more like i waslike.. a gopro attached to him or something, seeing what he waa getting up to. He's part of a group of other cat beasts people that attempt to construct. like. portals, or their own dream worlds , with stolen objects of Mighty importantce to other people. the cat group had their own bubble.. similar to the 3 day timeloop beach house, it was disconnected from other dreams, but theirs wasnt as dilapidated. it was a white house with little to no rooms.

the house was divided into two floors - the first/ground floor was VERY large, open concept, no rooms. the walls were white (and a bit dirty) with wood flooring, various piles of objects littered the floors. there were windows but whatever was outside them was really bright so it might as well have been white right outside.

the second floor was very small in the center of the house, with walled staircase leading up to it. the second floor had two rooms. the door closest to the staircase, similar to the doors in corpse party, might as well have been a wall decoration - impossible to open. though it was implied whatever was behind there was impossible to get to. the second room belonged to the non-catboy brother of someone in the group where it seemed like he could only exist in the top of the staircase and this room. i think he and R had a really weird relationship, where R would basically fool around with him whenever he wanted, but when he saw something in the room hed want to take or just simply got bored, hed leave without saying anything.

the time i spent watching over the group, which felt like a LONG TIME, they only successfully made two portals - more like one and a half, since only one was ever travelled into (made by R's only friend in the group, pictured below,) and the other one was made successfully before R decided to destroy it. the portals are made by what looks like a pile of random objects, but the items are placed in very specific ways.

R's friend was the one who successfuly made a portal that he and R got to go in. it seemed like the group was attempting to make portals to make their own dream world separate from other entities. R's friend, who i'll just call F, seemed to successfully create their own dream by hand (these cats cant dream on their own, i dont think). the dream was this small sci-fi looking room with large test tubes... like something out of a movie or video game. F was really pleased and joyful at making this all on their own away from the group. R, with the short time i knew him, was very selfish and kind of narcissitic.. but he seemed genuinely happy for F, and even shared that joy together. it was really sweet to watch. Im glad i wasnt an actual entity in the room because i woulve hated to interrupt this for the pair.

i mentioned before the cat people probably cant dream on their own. i think this is what they referred to as (what i remember them calling) "the building problem". their houseworld was not their own, its just one of those abandoned dream bubbles (like the aforementioned time loop house...) and i think they knew they were running out of time without the ability to dream themselves. they cant build their own worlds in their sleep/subconcious for whatever reason, so they have to steal important objects from [human] dreams to sustain themselves...? now im actually wondering if it has to do with , for example, when i had to give the stairs of my old school to a deity i encountered. that was definitely an object of importance for me in my own dreams, so, huh. well anyways

R is really obsessed with cardinals. it seems like hes more obsessed with the concept of a cardinal and the word itself / how it sounds rather than an actual bird, since i neber even saw one when i was with him.

i departed from R after he and his group went to this new dreamscape... they went to someones dream that took place at a school located in a suburban/rural area. lots of grass and the school (very cubey, blocky, gray/blue) was surrounded by short chain link fences. Inside the school was also the same muted color palette with white tile floors. the school was having some emergency situation like a break-in; and whoever was dreaming this was plannign to get away in an old-looking car in the back of the school that was also surrounded by grass. R and his crew stole the car and thats when i woke up back in my own world

[deathbyleche]

I know a regular sleep schedule is good. Good for my health and mood. But then I dream. i have THE dreams. And its just sooooo fucking dumb. That after all this time I still have these dreams. Why does my subconscious still need to deal with this stuff? Logically I know the reality of the situation. Emotionally I know what is best for me. Spiritually? Fuck i dont know. I am an entirely different entity then i was then. I hate having these dreams but i hate even more the lingering sadness when I wake up.

Also

I hate how often i dream i am other people. What is it? Is it body dysmorphia? Is my pisces empathy reaching across the ether into other peoples minds and lives? Is it real?

Just silence. Just blackness. I need rest

Existence is so god damn terrifying. Does nobody else feel the uncertainty of this reality? Is everyone just so concerned about their day to day. I knit and i crochet and i pretend each stitch i make is keeping everything together. Now i cant go a day with out working on something. If i dont do it everything will fall apart. I turned a hobby into an obsesssion

Busy hands

Busy mind

Scary thoughts

Sad thoughts

If i only dreamt of my memories of you it would be less unsettling. But i see you as you are now

If i only reached into other peoples dreams it would be less scary. But sometimes im just living their life. I kiss my wife goodbye. Im finding my way through a new school. I am running my hands over fabric as i walk through a store

I wake up and it all falls away so fast. But i know it happened. What was i doing? Who was i? Who am i?

Is that who you are now? I dont like that person you have become, but i still dream of you.

[kyu-bri]

PMMM Medieval AU

Ok I've been Checked Out of the Meduka Meguca fandom recently but last night during a 11hr post-work week sleep I dreamed up a balls to the wall insanely intricate AU, because my subconcious is ever more creative than my waking self.

A TLDR role list and under the cut I will ramble and speculate in detail:

SAYAKA: An ex squire Knight trainee whose new mission is to overthrow the fucking monarchy after its corrupt rule led to the deaths of her friends. Now seducing an established Knight woman to help her on the inside while she recruits peasants for her rebellion.

MAMI: A rich snobbish merchant, rolling in wealth from inheriting both her dead parents businesses. She too is looking to overthrow the monarchy but is at odds with Sayakas faction because her plan is to become ruler herself.

KYOKO: a thief with brooding backstory. Mami recruits her to do her dirty work behind the scenes to keep her social standing clean.

MADOKA: A young training Goddess of Hope who fell from the moon. She has come to enthusiastically stop all the warring drama and devious plotting. She is in way over her head.

HOMURA: when Madoka fell she brought with her only a magical talisman that would bring one corpse to life to be her right hand. While looking for a noble muscular soldier Madoka tripped and dropped it into an open grave resurrecting a sickly peasant girl. Homura now worships Madoka and they are best friends who are in way over their heads.

Now me screaming trying to decipher my own subconscious:

GOD this AU is so ME. Sayaka going feral and living her best life kicking ass and a catty mean girl Mami countering her specifically. Kyoko poised to compliment, counter and even them out. Oh and MadoHomu are Cute and In Love. If that isnt the core of all of my AUs-

Sayaka was absolutely nuts in this though. My brain didn't spare Kyosuke or Hitomi so much as a cameo but so they're free to be the only reasonable cause for this. Im thinking Kyosuke was ailing as per usual and all that canon drama was the Same but Medieval.

So I'm thinking Sayakas all set to cope with Hitomi financing some lifesaving Medieval leech centric surgery or something before the Evil King whose color scheme is White And Maroon decides to execute Hitomis family for something petty. Hitomi is tragically killed right before Sayaka. Leaving Kyosuke to go shortly after and Sayaka to swear off the monarchy and all traditional law. Withdrawing from her training to be a knight to Be Gay And Do Crime.

Mamis role is both hilarious and perfect. In the dream she didn't do much besides bribe Kyoko and Anime Princess Laugh, but then Madoka was lore dumping (because yes, I DREAMED Madoka explaining LORE to Homura for the audiences (my) benefit.) And she said that Mami was possessed by a Demon of Greed. I'm thinking we could also say a desperate grieving Mami made some sort of deal with it asking for the ability to manage her parents legacy and it's resulted in her becoming the Onceler instead.

Madoka also mentions Kyoko has been scared away from her God bc of humans' actions. Ie she was the holy dutiful priests daughter and then Shit Hit The Fan but Medieval Flavored. The dream legit shows her God was Jesus so I'm declaring the dude God of Redemption, which is a very Kyoko Thing to boot.

While my brain didn't give me any KyoSaya Content tm they're in the perfect position for their epic Rivalry Turned Eternal Companions. Kyoko would be who Mami sends to fuck w Sayaka. Sayaka having probably trying to recruit Mami to her cause before realizing Mamis The Fucking Onceler and inspiring her to create a Rival Gang Of King Hating Rebels.

I'm picturing Sayakas plan fucking up in just the way Kyoko once mocked her that it would and all of Sayakas fight leaving her. As epic as her role is seducing the enemy to benefit her is very Unlike Her, so while the dream poised her as a power couple with the random blond knight lady I'm saying nnnno. And that the arrangement is fitfully miserable and dangerous. Sayaka used to be a loyal hopeless romantic and the Evil that's been committed against her and and those she loves has forced her to harden herself into someone else to be able to fight it.

But while Sayakas in Inevitable Peril and lamenting all of her mistakes and tragedy Kyokos there, fully able to escape but instead of course is like "no fuck that fuck this take my hand dreams come true lets give this nightmare a happily ever after." And its gay.

This would probably pit them both against Mami now but knowing me it would absolutely solve it with gay. And probably a bit of exorcism from Madoka. I theorized briefly if Mami would be a singular tragic death bc she cant be freed bc i liked the idea of tiny baby trumpet blower Nagisa slitting the Evil rich ladies throat and that being the only way to free her from the demon was cool but unless I can give Madoka a second resurrection clause then i would just exorcise her with Homosexuality and Friendship and a bit of Fairy Dust.

Meanwhile with Madoka and Homura they were just off still being cute and oblivious in the dream. I think the dream wanted her to be The One True God but she then shows all the personality traits of Naïve Angel In Training, so bc of the mythology already surrounding her I'm saying thinks a society where Literal Concepts Are Still Being Born and Madoka is the first inkling of Hope that Homosexuality and Friendship can fight Medieval Capitalism on its own.

She's just this bright white and pink pastel glowing entity skipping through a dark dreary forest graveyard looking for soldiers graves to ressurect somebody noble and powerful, gathering twigs in her long Repuntzel hair, when she trips and drops her talisman on a homeless orphan who died of the plague or some shit.

Bonus points to the idea that Madokas supposed to be able to reuse it but bc Homura died of sickness she just dies again right away and Madoka doesn't wanna be mean.

So Homura worships this glowing self positioned manic pixie dream girl bc shes definitely never felt hopeful in her life and so this glowing pastel goddess and drab zombie girl begin a road trip to where the actual plot of the story is happening. Because the moon dropped Madoka like inconveniently far away ig.

And so is the skeleton of a fabulous AU that I will probably not develop further but might make art for because my subconscious brain Also has AMAZING cinematography like when Madoka comes out of her moon all her hair flows out first so from earth it looks like a long pink gunshot through the moon which I suppose all the other characters would see and thus foreshadow their inevitable downfall to the powers of Homosexuality and Friendship and HOPE.

Aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa