#or that time i got really into some 17 minute tangerine dream song. i love long songs and its a struggle

[bmpmp3]

having ur current looped-for-3-hours-straight song being 7+ minutes long is such a struggle. i keep thinking "okay i'll just listen to it one or two more times and then go to bed" and then you've listened to it like 5 times and its half an hour later

[themagicaltunaa]

Answer all the questions

well i have nothing to do so sure

1. What have you eaten today? 

some toast for breakfast, leftovers for lunch, and some cereal for dinner

2. Who was your last kiss with? Was it pleasant?

never kissed anyone, don't really care about that

3. What color shoes did you last wear?

light grey sneakers

4. Who has made you laugh the hardest in the last week?

Jeremy did, when I was watching his Alien Isolation stream on monday

5. What is your favorite scent?

I love the smell freshly baked goods

6. What is your favorite season? Why?

I love fall. I just love the aesthetic of the season, and my favorite holiday is during fall. I would love to experience it one day

7. Can you do a handstand or cartwheel?

lol nope. I was barely able to do it as a kid. If I tried now i’m pretty sure i’ll break something.

8. What color are your nails?

the regular pink color? I don’t paint my nails

9. If you had to get a tattoo on your face to save your life, what would it be?

aw geez, uhhh idk maybe like a tiny star or something

10. What is something you find romantic?

i dont know romantic things 

11. Are you happy?

eh

12. Is there anything in particular making you happy or sad?

no not really

13. Dogs or Cats?

cats. i like dogs too, but sometimes they’re too much to deal with. i’m more comfortable being with cats

15. Which do you prefer:a museum, a night club, the forest or a library?

museum

15. What is your style?

my style is “im trying”

16. If you could be doing anything you like right now, what would it be?

stay up all night to catch up on videos

17. Are you in a relationship or single?

single babeyyyy

18. What makes you attracted to the person you like right now?

nothing, because im not attracted to anyone

19. If you could replace your partner/best friend with a celebrity of your choice, would you? Who with?

i dont like celebrities

20. Are you holding on to something you need to let go of? If so then what?

i’m pretty sure i’m holding on to a lot of stuff, but I can’t seem to remember anything specific. if this question means metaphorically, the answer still works

21. How did you celebrate last Halloween?

I went to a drive thru haunted house with my 2 friends, and after we got some taco bell and went to the beach to eat our food. we sat there for like 10 minutes before it started to rain on us

22. Have you recently made any big decisions?

nope. I try not to in general , I hate having to make any sort of big decision because I starting stressing 

23. Were you ever in a school play?

I’ve always had stage fright so no

24. What movie would you use to describe your life?

uhhhh, I dont watch enough movies to pick one

25. Is there something you have dreamed of doing for a long time? Why haven’t you done it? 

oh there’s plenty of things that I've dreamed of doing, but I just can’t do it because of anxiety 

26. Complete this sentence, “I wish I had someone with whom I could share…”

I dont like sharing

27. What are two things that irritate you about the same sex?

uhhh idk? maybe the whole makeup culture thing? but it’s not like it irritates me I just don’t get it. I can’t really think of a second thing

28. What are two things that irritate you about the opposite sex?

too much to list

29. What is the best thing that has happened to you this week?

fuck if i know

30. What is something that makes you sad when you think about it?

can’t think of anything rn

31. How long was your longest relationship?

never been in one

32. Have you ever been in love?

pretty sure I have not

33. Are you currently in love?

nope

34. Why did your last relationship end?

see question 31

35. What jewelry are you wearing right now, and where did you get it?

not wearing any atm. actually, I just don’t wear jewelry in general

36. When was the last time you cried and why?

I think it was last week? I don’t remember why, it was probably something stupid

37. Name someone pretty.

the anon that sent me this ask

38. What did you receive last Valentines Day?

oh! I got a few gifts from my bestie :)

39. Do you get jealous easily?

no

40. Have you ever been cheated on?

no

41. Do you trust your partner/best friend?

sure

42. Ever had detention?

no because I was a good bean in school

43. Would you rather live in the countryside or the city?

city. the countryside sounds nice, but just the thought of being out in the middle of nowhere especially at night makes me nervous 

44. What do people call you?

by my name

45. What was the last book you read?

I do not remember. It’s been years since I’ve read a book

46. How big of a nerd/dork are you?

uhhh idk

47. What kind of music do you listen to?

anything that catches my fancy. I don’t really stick to one kind of genre

48. How tall are you?

my doctor said I’m allowed to say i’m 5′2

49. Do you like kids?

they’re alright. I can handle be around them for a bit, but I would never want to have any 

50. Favorite fruits?

watermelon, starfruit, and tangerines

51. Do you wear jeans or sweats more?

jeans

52. What’s your earliest memory?

I was like 3-4, and I was at disney world with my family. I remember seeing a stage show of Bear in the Big Blue house, and I remember walking around ToonTown when it still existed

53. Ever had a poem or song written about you or to you?

i hope not

54. Do you prefer to be behind the camera or in front of it?

behind it

55. Do you have a collection of anything?

I used to collect seashells as a kid and I still have some of the collection somewhere in my closet. I wanna start a new collection of something but idk what

56. Do you save money or spend it?

i try to save it

57. What would your dream house be like?

something cozy and not too big, with a cat or 2

58. What top 5 things make you the angriest?

its 11pm at the time of answering this, i really can’t think of anything to fill a list rn

59. What top 5 things always brings a smile to your face?

see the previous question

60. You are walking down the street on your way to work. There is a dog drowning in the canal on the side of the street. Your boss has told you if you are late one more time you get fired. What do you do?

save the dog. i hate my job anyways so I don’t care

61. 72: You are at the doctor’s office and she has just informed you that you have approximately one month to live. a) Do you tell anyone/everyone you are going to die? b) What do you do with your remaining days? c) Would you be afraid?

I would definitely tell my closest friends, and some of my family members, probably my mom’s side of the family. If I had the money to, I would like to travel to some places that i’ve always wanted to go to. I would have a month to accept that i’m gonna die so i think i would be fine. i’d rather get plenty of time to know i’m dying rather than like last minute. this has been a topic that i’ve been thinking of for a while now, not because I’m like thinking about death or anything, I just need something to kill time with at work

62. Give me the first thing that comes to mind when you hear the word; heart.

a heart?

63. You just got a free plane ticket to anywhere. You have to depart right now. Where are you gonna go?

aw cmon, I can’t just think of stuff like that on the spot. I don’t even know where I would want to go

64. Do you like the beach?

It’s nice, especially in the early morning when everything is still calm and the beach isn’t packed with people yet

65. Ever sleep on the couch or a bed with someone special?

no? wtf does someone special mean?

66. Do you have a middle name? If so what is it!

Doesn’t everyone have a middle name? But yeah i do and i hate it so im not saying anything

67. Do you talk to yourself?

in my head all the time

68. Describe your hair.

brown, curly, very long because I haven’t cut it in almost a year, it’s very annoying

69. What is the meaning of life.

I wish i knew

70. What is your ideal partner like?

no one

71. Do you want to get married?

no

72. Do you want to have kids?

 ew no

73. Like or dislike your family?

 they’re bearable

74. Are you Chunky or Slim?

I’m more than chunky, i’m just straight up fat

75. Would you consider yourself smart?

lol no. I’m an absolute dumbass

76. What would you change about your life?

everything if i could

77. Religious or Not?

no not really

78. You’re drunk and yelling at hot guys/girls out of your car window, you’re with?

I don’t drink so this would never happen

79. You’re locked in a room with the last person you kissed, is that a problem?

it sure isnt because no one is there

80. Does anyone regularly (other than family) tell you they love you?

uhhhh no. I don’t really care tbh

81. If the person you wish to be with were with you, what would you be doing right now?

idk

82. So, the last person you kissed just happens to arrive at your door at 3AM; do you let them in?

i’m not opening the door because no one is there

83. Do you like when people play with your hair?

ehh not really. It’ll just make it frizzy

84. Do you like bubble baths?

no

85. Have you ever been pulled over by a cop?

I need to drive in order for that to happen

86. Have you ever danced in the rain?

no. its not fun getting soaked in the rain

87. Do you trust anyone with your life?

not really? 

88. What was your first thought when you woke up this morning?

why does god allow suffering

89. If money wasn’t an issue, what top 10 places would you travel to? (You get to stay at each place for a week)

1.greece

2. peru

3.disney world only because I have not been to all the parks yet, also i can bug my brother while i’m there

theres a lot more but i’m too tired to fill out the rest of the list

90. How was your day today?

it was fine

91. Play an instrument?

used to play mellophone/french horn in band in high school. after I graduated I haven’t touched an instrument since

92. Describe the what you think of the ocean.

it’s scary

93. Do you believe in aliens or ghosts?

aliens as anything that counts as a living organism not of this world, not green little men from mars nonsense. the universe is too big for only life to be on earth. for ghosts, i’m still iffy about them, but that doesn’t mean i’m gonna start walking around haunted places and call the ghosts a bitch

94. Honestly, are things how you wanted them to be?

abosolutely not. every day I regret all the decisions i’ve made through my life. does that mean I’m trying to fix said mistakes or try not to do them again? lol no 

95. Do you have a mean bitchy scary side?

in my mind i do. I’m too scared of everyone to actually do it

96. When are you vulnerable?

always

97. How much free time do you have?

doesn’t feel like much. saturday and sunday go by way too fast and i feel like when i go home from work theres just not enough to relax. im tired all the time

98. Do you like to go hiking?

never been

99. Odd or Even Numbers?

even

100. Would you ever go sky diving, bungee jumping , cliff diving, wing suit gliding, parasailing, snorkeling, or other extreme activities?

no because I actually have self preservation. I am also a very big chicken

[lovemesomesurveys]

1. If you found a baby turtle on the side of the road, would you pick it up and keep it? No. 2. Did you and your mum ever have a big fight that caused you to move out? Nooo. 3. Has the last person you kissed ever been to your house? Yeah, a few times. 4. Have you had a good day today or was yesterday better? It’s only 3 in the morning. We’ll see. I have a doctor appointment this morning; though, so it’s not going to start off great. 5. Do you have any plans for the upcoming weekend? Nope.

6. How about you, do you have a bf/gf? No. 7. Could you date someone very attractive, but who thought they were better than everyone else? Absolutely not. I wouldn’t give a shit how attractive they were if they were like that.  8. So do you have a best friend? Yes. 9. What would you do if your best friend kissed the last person you kissed? My mom would never do that. 10. Do you dislike anyone? No one I know. 11. Did you message your best friend today? No. I’ll see her later on, we live together. 12. Do you think you will be in a relationship two months from now? Nope. 13. Do you always feel like you’re making mistakes? Always. 14. How do you feel about your hair right now? I love the color since I just got it done a few weeks ago and it looks healthier since I got it trimmed, but still I hate that I don’t do anything with it besides throw it up in a pony tail. I’ve never been good at styling my hair, it never comes out good. I have long hair, it would be nice to actually do something with it. 15. Does anybody have a tattoo with your name on it? Well, I’m sure there’s people with “Stephanie” tattooed on them, but not anyone I know. 16. Who did you last see shirtless? An actor on TV. 17. How would you feel if you got the person you liked? I don’t like anyone in that way. 18. Do you think you can last in a relationship for six months without cheating? Yes. 19. Do you like to make the first move? Noooo. 20. Do you think you will ever be married? No. 21. Have you ever tried your hardest and then gotten disappointed in the end? I’m a big disappointment to myself and everyone else I feel like. 22. Is it possible to be single and happy? Yeah. I mean, I’m single and unhappy, but it’s not because I’m single. 23. Was the first person you talked to today male or female? It’ll be male (my brother). 24. Do you remember who you liked on New Year’s? No one. 25. Are you a morning person or a night person? I’m barely a person. 26. Could you go the rest of your life without drinking alcohol? I’ve gone 7 years so far and have no desire for it. 27. Have you ever felt like you weren’t good enough? I’ve always felt that way. 28. Is there anyone who likes you? Not in the romantic sense. 29. If the last person you kissed saw you kissing someone else, would they be mad? Ha, no. They wouldn’t give a single fuck. 30. Do you understand football? I get there’s touchdowns... that’s about it. ha. 31. What’s the first thing you heard this morning? It’ll be alarm. D: 32. Who last called you beautiful? My hair stylist did after she finished with my hair.  33. Did you talk to someone until you fell asleep last night? No. 34. How many kids do you want when you get older? Zero. 35. Are you the type of person who has a new boyfriend/girlfriend every week? Uh, no. I’ve been single for 7 years and haven’t even talked to anyone in that way in 4. 36. Ever been called a jerk/bitch? Yes, playfully. 37. Do you have feelings for anyone? Not romantic ones. 38. If you fell pregnant to the last person you kissed, what would you think? “Fell pregnant.” I’m a virgin and can’t have kids anyway, so. 39. What’s your full name? Stephanie is all you need to know. 40. Are you young or old? I’m old. 41. What’s the gender? I’m a female. 42. How’s your heart been lately? Physically, it’s fine.  43. Why aren’t you in bed? I am. 44. Did you do laundry today? No. 45. What kind of computer do you have? A MacBook Air. 46. Are there always other fish in the sea? So they say. 47. What can your tongue do? I can’t curl it or make a clover or anything. 48. What do you think your mum does when she goes out? My poor mom doesn’t do much outside of work, taking care of my family, especially me, and caring for a family friend. She hardly gets any time for herself.  49. Do chickens have feelings? Yes. 50. Do you think the body is the most beautiful thing that was ever made? We’re made in God’s image. I need to learn to love myself and my body, though, cause I definitely don’t. 51. So how are you feeling today? Blah. 52. Where is your sister right now? I don't have a sister. 53. Name five things you did today? So far just YouTube and surveys. 54. What kind of phone do you have? An iPhone XR. 55. What are you listening to? An ASMR video. 56. What do you smell like? Like me. 57. What colour are your eyes? Brown. 58. Have you ever done a Chinese fire drill? No. 59. Do you know someone named Betsy? No. 60. What colour is your mum’s hair? Black. 61. Do you have a dog? Breed? Name? Yes, a 3 year old German Shepherd/Lab mix named Princess Leia. <3 62. Do you remember singing any songs as a kid? Yeah. A lot of Barney songs, especially. 63. Are you married? Nopeee. I’m very single. 64. When was the last time you talked to one of your siblings? Last night.  65. Do you play an instrument? I played some piano back in the day. I regret not keeping up with it, though. I wish I took it more seriously. 66. Do you like fire? I like bonfires or fire in the fireplace. I love that autumn fire smell. However, you’ll never catch me lighting a fire. Not even a candle. I’m a big scardy cat. 67. Are you allergic to anything? Tangerines. 68. Have you ever been to a spa? Nope. 69. Do you miss someone? Always. 70. Views on premarital sex? I’m just waiting to be in a loving committed relationship. Someone I’m very comfortable with. He’ll have to be someone very patient and understanding. 71. What is a noise that you cannot stand? Eating sounds--slurping, smacking, sucking... I CAN’T. 72. Do you know how to do a cartwheel? I can’t do that. 73. What is the most you are willing to spend on a pair of sunglasses? I don’t wear sunglasses as someone who has to wear glasses because I’m basically blind without them. I’ve had the transitional glasses in the past, though. I don’t have them currently cause I didn’t want to pay for that. 74. Does your mum vacuum early in the morning while you’re asleep? No. 75. Do you shower naked? Uh, yeah?  76. Does wearing glasses really make people look smart? It can. Doesn’t make me look smart, though ha. I’m not fooling anyone. 77. Are you ADD or ADHD? No. 78. Do your band-aids have cartoons on them? No, we just have the boring plain ones. 79. Have you ever kissed someone you shouldn’t have? No. 80. In one word, how would you define yourself? Disappointing.  81. Tell me about a dream you had recently? Nah. 82. Who’s the funniest drunk person you know? I haven’t been around drunk people in a long time. 83. How did you feel when you woke up? I haven’t gone to bed, yet, but I know I won’t be happy when my alarm goes off. I have a doctor appointment in the morning. :/ 84. What was the first thing you thought of when you woke up this morning? It’ll be “ughhhhh I don’t want to get up.” 85. Name something great that happened on Friday? I don’t know, it’s Thursday. Ask me tomorrow. 86. When was the last time you saw your father? Last night. 87. Do you wish someone would call or text you right now? No. You know... it’s weird. I heard from Ty out of the blue yesterday for the first time in almost 5 years and it didn’t stir up anything in me like it would have in the past. 88. Have you ever been kissed by a person whose name starts with J? Yes. 89. Do you crack your knuckles? Yeah. 90. What were you doing twenty minutes ago? This. 91. You’re thinking about someone, aren’t you? I am now cause of that question where I talked about Ty. 92. Have you held hands with anyone in the past twenty-four hours? No. 93. What would you do if your partner still kept pictures of their ex? I would have an issue with that. 94. What if your partner went through your cellphone? I don’t want that kind of relationship. Like yeah, we should have nothing to hide, but still there’s just no reason for it. 95. What if your partner was flirting with another girl/boy? I’d most definitely have a problem with that and would say something. 96. Ever liked someone you thought you didn’t stand a chance with? Yes. 97. You want someone/something? I’m already looking forward to lunch. 98. Is there really a difference between Coke and Pepsi? There absolutely is. Coke all the way. 99. Is there any emotion you’re trying to avoid right now? I’m hungry, but it’s 330 in the morning and I’m not going to get anything. I’ll get something later after my doctor appointment. 100. Are there any mistakes with your recent ex you wish you could have changed? It really doesn’t matter anymore. 101. Has anyone ever been with you while you were throwing up? Yeah, my mom many times whenever I was sick. That’s even still to this day as an adult. One of my former friends was with me a few times after getting sick from a littleee bit too much to drink. :X 102. Background on your computer? Alexander Skarsgard. 103. Have you cried recently? Yes. 104. Who has hurt you the most? Myself. 105. Are you happy with where you are relationship-wise now? I’m perfectly fine with being single. 106. What language do you want to learn? I want to be fluent in Spanish. I should start practicing again, it’s been yearsss so I’m definitely rusty. 107. Your ex’s car breaks down and they ask you for a lift. Your response? I don’t drive, so I’d be of no help. 108. Would you hit a member of the opposite sex? I’d only hit someone out of self-defense.

[deadcactuswalking]

REVIEWING THE CHARTS: 19/12/2020

Mariah Carey’s “All I Want for Christmas is You” spends a second week at #1. It’s #1 in the States as well. We’ve got a week of Christmas music and a Taylor Swift album bomb so... God, let’s just get this over with. Welcome back to REVIEWING THE CHARTS.

Rundown

So let’s start as always with the drop-outs from the UK Top 75, which we have a few of but not as notable as the last few weeks, as the less interesting 2020 hits that just can’t leave the chart are slowly dropping off. We have some of the bigger hits like “Looking for Me” by Diplo, Paul Woodford and Kareen Lomax (Good song, by the way), “WAP” by Cardi B and Megan Thee Stallion, as well as some more recent and more moderate successes like “Princess Cuts” by Headie One featuring Young T & Bugsey, “i miss u” by Jax Jones and Au/Ra and “SO DONE” by The Kid LAROI. I can see this all rebounding after Christmas though, especially those last few. What I can’t see rebounding are the three Christmas songs that ironically dropped off from last week, particularly “Santa’s Coming for Us” by Sia which I do not remember being a top 20 hit. We do, of course, have some more fallers as well, like “34+35” by Ariana Grande at #14 and “Santa Tell Me” also by Ariana at #17 – not a good week for her, I suppose. I also find it funny that we have a couple Christmas songs that actually dropped places this week, not many of which are notable, but to give an example, due to three separate songs entering the top 10 this week, “It’s Beginning to Look a Lot Like Christmas” by Michael Bublé dropped five spots to #12. On the course of fallers, we also have “Midnight Sky” by Miley Cyrus at #22, “Therefore I Am” by Billie Eilish at #28, “Holly Jolly Christmas” by Michael Bublé at #36, “Monster” by Shawn Mendes and Justin Bieber at #44, “Head & Heart” by Joel Corry and MNEK at #48, “Blinding Lights” by the Weeknd at #50, “Lemonade” by Internet Money and Gunna featuring Don Toliver and NAV at #51, “you broke me first” by TateMcRae at #57 (the biggest fall this week), “Golden” by Harry Styles at #58, “Lonely” by Justin Bieber and benny blanco at #60, “Wonder” by Shawn Mendes at #63, “What You Know Bout Love” by the late Pop Smoke at #65, “See Nobody” by Wes Nelson and Hardy Caprio at #69, “Sunflower (Spider-Man: Into the Spider-Verse)” by Post Malone and Swae Lee at #70 and “A Little Love” by Celeste at #74. Of course, we also have some notable returning entries and gains, those returning entries being “Santa Claus is Coming to Town” by the Jackson 5 at #75 and “Baby it’s Cold Outside” by Adele Dazeem and Michael Bublé at #61. The most notable gains aren’t as plentiful this week because I feel like most songs, Christmas or not, are relatively stable if they’re not falling dramatically off the chart, so I’m not going to separate it into festive and non-festive tracks this time. We start off with “No Time for Tears” – the biggest climber this week – by Nathan Dawe and Little Mix up to #64, “Christmas Lights” by Coldplay at #43, “Get Out My Head” by Shane Codd at #32, and whilst that’s it for notably large gains, we do see “Whoopty” by CJ and “This Christmas” by Jess Glynne enter the top 10 at #10 and #9 respectively. Delightful. Well, we’re already done with the rundown – oddly quickly – so let’s get on with these new arrivals.

NEW ARRIVALS

#72 – “The Business” – Tiesto

Produced by Anton Rundberg and Tiesto

I have no time for umlauts. They’re simply not productive. Dutch DJ Tiesto has been at it for a while now and “The Business” is his new house-pop track with vocals from James Bell, probably propped up the chart by a remix with English DJ 220 KID. The original song charted though, so we’ll talk about that one and I do like the cold, bizarrely eerie strings for a song like this, even if the pitched-down vocals make it more comical than anything. The deep house groove here is cool but mostly cheap, especially whatever the hell those claps are. The bridge is aimless and James Bell gives a performance really not worthy of note. At least this has some essence of personality and artistic intent, unlike 220 KID’s usual output, who actually improves on the song by giving it more of a 90s Eurodance tinge, in my opinion at least. The 220 KID remix is a remix of a song that already felt like a remix though, so everything about this is unnatural and awkward, even for EDM.

#71 – “Cuddle Up, Cozy Down Christmas” – Dolly Parton and Michael Bublé

Produced by Kent Wells

The only time country music charts on the UK Singles Chart is when it’s barely country or Dolly Parton. Whilst a lot of country music is rarely appreciated out of the States, I feel like Dolly Parton is one of those singers that’s just universally loved. Michael Bublé on the other hand I have no patience for and I was dreading the time I’d have to review his songs again. The man made a career of off offensively inoffensive Christmas standards and his original music is painfully bad, so honestly, I’ll take it, but the man is clearly not interesting and whilst I understand why Dolly had him on her A Holly Dolly Christmas TV special in the vein of Mariah Carey’s this same year, I’m not excited to hear it. I’m not excited to talk about it either, because this is only vaguely country and is mostly just a jazz-adjacent traditional pop standard, except this is an original song. Neither Parton and Bublé have any chemistry, there’s a lot of empty space, and Bublé’s awkward attempts to add personality to what is and will always be a dull, painful slog of a track are just cringe worthy if anything. This song is barely about Christmas either or anything warm and intimate about cuddling up with family as I expected. It’s just the image of Dolly Parton banging Michael Bublé by the fireplace, and it goes on for about three minutes and 39 seconds too long. Next.

#66 – “Baby it’s Cold Outside” – Brett Eldredge featuring Meghan Trainor

Produced by Ron Mousey and Jay Newland

“Baby it’s Cold Outside” spews controversy nowadays, and whilst I never found a reason to be mad at what is clearly a dated but to me pretty innocuous and satirical Christmas standard, I never found a reason to like the song. Even the classic Dean Martin version is pretty much a slog, but that doesn’t mean I can stomach John Legend’s “politically correct” version either, which is probably the worst rendition I’ve heard, although Bublé’s is close. I don’t mind Tom Jones’ attempt, I guess. Regardless, this version from 2016 is by another country singer, but it did just chart because Meghan Trainor’s here. These two might have even less chemistry than Dolly and Bublé; at least they tried, whilst here despite the song being a back-and-forth, they seem to be on completely different ideas on how to tackle the song. Admittedly, I like this flat, jazzy rendition of the track fine but if anything Trainor is an inconvenience to my enjoyment of this lounge track. She shows off her vocal strength a bit too much for it to work until that awkward burst of energy at the end. Also, Brett Eldredge exists. How unfortunate. It may also be insensitive in retrospect, and maybe ironic, that the song ends with Eldredge warning her she might catch pneumonia if she went outside. Huh.

#55 – “Forever Young” – Becky Hill

Produced by Charlie Hugall

“Forever Young” by Alphaville is one of those classic 1980s synth-pop tracks that sounds so obviously 1980s but is far from dated, with the lyrics being a take on contemporaneous political issues covered in optimistic calls for action and gorgeous strings that undercut Marian Gold’s longing, belting delivery and of course, that horn section at the end that sadly fades out instead of coming to a genuine climax but would be brilliant either way. The song has a legacy indeed, and is continuously topical, being covered by One Direction, Kim Wilde and Imagine Dragons, and being sampled or interpolated by Dorian Electra, JAY-Z, Maroon 5 and even Tangerine Dream. The song has had so many reimaginings that it’s hard to imagine what new can be done with a classic track that didn’t really need much reworking in the first place... so naturally, Becky Hill made an acoustic cover for a McDonald’s commercial. It’s just her singing it vaguely competently over an unimaginative piano rendition of the original, but it does offend me in how it strips everything out of the original song to replace it with a vague orchestral swell and exhaustingly boring delivery from Becky Hill. Sure, the original song sounds cheaper now but if anything, this sounds even cheaper, with mixing drenched in reverb that makes everything sound a lot uglier than it’s supposed to. JAY-Z screwed “Forever Young” up to hell and back on his track with Mr Hudson but at least he rapped over it and had a bit of a sample flip, instead of just reciting the lyrics and chord structure without realising what made the song so biting and anthemic in the first place. This isn’t REVIEWING THE ADVERTS though, even though most of the time it ends up being, so I won’t bore you much longer with this.

#37 – “Show Out” – Kid Cudi, Skepta and Pop Smoke

Produced by Dot da Genius, Plain Pat, Heavy Mellow and Gravez

I knew this would be the highest-charting track from the Cudi album as soon as I saw the feature credit, but I didn’t expect it to be the only one charting. Regardless, I should probably talk about the album because I have listened to Man on the Moon III: The Chosen, Cudi’s highly-anticipated follow-up to his last two Man on the Moon records, both of which are pretty damn great, and this one isn’t far from it either. I liked it a fair bit and even if its derivative first few tracks means it gets off to a slow start, there are absolutely moments on this album where we see a classic Cudi matured and aged, and able to talk about mental health in shallow detail as always but from a perspective where we see a Scott Mescudi that has settled down and is happy with life. While it’s far from a perfect album, I won’t lie and say it wasn’t heart-warming to hear Cudi like this considering how much he’s struggled in his decade-long career, and it’s backed by great, psychedelic production as always. “Show Out” is a complete abandonment of all of that, acting as a shallow turn-up drill track with a massive posthumous hook from the late Pop Smoke’s booming voice, accompanied by an Auto-Tuned Cudi mumbling over gorgeous string samples, which don’t feel like they’re watered-down by the overwhelming drill beat and instead accentuated, which I think is missing from a lot of UK drill. It helps that Skepta is here to slide effortlessly in his verse. He’s selling out shows and shooting guns “the same size as Kevin Hart”, and whilst the verse feels a little short, he absolutely steals the show when he’s there. That’s not to say Cudi doesn’t spit endlessly on his verse, which is also fire, before an atmospheric bridge where, in the midst of the gang violence and hedonism, he calls out to God to ask what the cost of it is. It’s the one part of the song that makes it make any lick of sense in the context of the album, but it’s also the one part I’m never so sure on. It sounds pretty jarring between Cudi’s verse and the hook, and it’s not cathartic when Pop Smoke comes back in so I think it could have been better used as an outro if anything. Other than that, the song is still really hard-hitting and one of my favourites from Man on the Moon III. Songs like “The Void” and “Rockstar Knights” with Trippie Redd blow it out of the water though.

#19 – “no body, no crime” – Taylor Swift featuring HAIM

Produced by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner

As you probably know, Taylor Swift dropped a new album last week called Evermore, which is basically a much weaker collection of B-sides from the Folklore sessions. I’ll discuss my gripes with the album more as we get onto “willow”, so I’ll give some short individual reviews here. This is one of my favourite tracks on the record, mostly because of how it takes Taylor back to her country roots but in sharp contrast to the original bubblegum country-pop style she had on her first few albums, she and HAIM of all people perform a pretty convincing true crime story about a missing persons case that might just end up being a murder. With a catchy chorus, oddly eerie and menacing delivery from Taylor Swift that sounds determined and honestly kind of badass with those electric guitars in the post-chorus, as well as some descending melodies in the verses I admittedly love, this is one of the best tracks on the album without hesitation for me. It’s one of the few tracks on Evermore that feels like Swift’s storytelling, knacks for infectious choruses, and the more serious, rootsy acoustic guitar-based instrumentation, are in perfect harmony, even if it is a bit short and much like the rest of the album, it falls victim to the meandering nature of these songs and their aimless bridges or outros. Either way, it’s good. Check it out if you haven’t already. It’s cool to see HAIM back on the chart too, by the way.

#15 – “champagne problems” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Taylor Swift and Aaron Dessner

When I was listening to Kid Cudi, Avalanches and Taylor last Friday all in one session, I was constantly engaged even through the duller parts of the second half of We Will Always Love You or the most rote, derivative Travis Scott rip-offs present on Man on the Moon III. I was only awake for about three and a half hours when I first went through Evermore, but you know that feeling you get in your eyes when you start feeling tired or exhausted? Maybe that’s just a me thing, but “champagne problems” is that feeling when your eyes start to sore a bit and you start blinking a bit more. The storytelling isn’t as engaging as it usually is on this track, and although I do like the main narrative, it takes a detour and doesn’t decide whether it wants to focus on that or a vaguer metaphor about mental illness and how it’s affected Taylor as a celebrity. I care about that on Reputation but I do not give a damn when it’s presented with this uninteresting chasm of piano melodies and a really awkward, pointless outro, once again, that’s out-of-place if anything. I wish anything on Evermore was as good as “seven” but that’s wishful thinking. Anyway, let’s start rambling, because it’s the big-boy debut time now.

#3 – “willow” – Taylor Swift

Produced by Aaron Dessner

I have nothing to go off when judging Aaron Dessner’s production. He’s the frontman behind The National and he does contribute to the album vocally on one of the worst tracks but usually takes a backseat in production. On Folklore, although Dessner was still greatly involved, it felt a lot more varied and interesting from Taylor particularly, who went on unexpected songwriting angles and some melodies I genuinely love. I’m not a fan of the indie-folk direction for her – I think her style of writing and vocals actually fits better on pop tunes, which might be a hot take but I mean, my favourite album from her is Reputation so I’m full of those when it comes to Taylor. I can appreciate when it’s done well, though, and I like her storytelling abilities most of the time, unless of course the song itself is nothing to be interested in... and, I’m sorry, but half of Folklore was aggressively dull, particularly the back half, and I can barely make it through songs like “exile”. Maybe I just don’t “get” it, maybe I’m just not “listening hard enough”, or maybe, perhaps, I’m just not a fan of Taylor doing exactly what she usually doesn’t do on her albums, which is bore me. Say what you want about Red, 1989 or even Reputation, and ESPECIALLY Lover, but they take risks, intriguing ones at that and whether they’re successful or not is obviously up to listener’s interpretation, but regardless, it makes for a listen that is unpredictable and often fascinating. Lover is an absolute mess full of pretty mediocre attempts to do... well, anything, but it’s a better listen than Evermore out of sheer intrigue alone. It’s interesting to hear Taylor try all of these different musical ideas, whether it’s her trying obnoxious bubblegum-pop on “ME!”, ballads with the Dixie Chicks, 1980s-style synth-pop on “Getaway Car” and the majority of 1989, or even industrial-pop rapping on “...Ready for It?”. It’s not interesting to hear her make 16 quite similar songs and less than half of them have a unique flavour to them that makes the hour-long listen feel like you gained anything from it. It’s not just the album experience either that Folklore and Evermore lack, but it’s also the songs themselves, particularly in Evermore. Let’s look at “cardigan”, one of the best songs on Folklore, with Swift’s pretty low-key but emotive delivery, a noticeable and profound refrain, songwriting that evokes a pretty sweet metaphor and tells the start of a story that runs throughout the record in a way that can detach itself from the rest of the record, infectious choruses (even if they are cribbed somewhat from “Wildest Dreams”) and that subtle drum machine with pretty intricate percussion patterns covered by gorgeous string compositions, and a four-minute runtime that feels worth it, especially for that last chorus and verse, an effortless switch-up. Now let’s compare it to its equivalent lead single “willow”, a track with a checked-out Taylor singing pretty janky, awkward melodies over a cluttered mess of guitar strumming, with absolutely none of the very few ideas Taylor has musically actually succeeding. The song has to drop out entirely because Taylor and Dessner apparently can’t handle the three over-lapping ideas just in the first two verses and choruses, and whilst it still has that switch-up for the third verse/bridge, it does not feel worth it because there is another, over-long chorus with no lyrical adjustments to the hook that made the subtleties in “cardigan” so special. The song is 20 seconds or so shorter than “cardigan” but feels a lot longer because of how directionless the outro is, and none of it feels like anything other than a pretty folk-pop tune (which is barely qualifies as anyway because of how ugly these acoustics are, and how meandering Taylor’s cadence is throughout). She tries out the chorus with and without the falsetto for no reason other than to extend the song by the end and it makes effectively no change to how the chorus feels like it’s delivered. I’ll give “willow” credit that it’s listenable and a lot less boring than other tracks on Evermore but I can’t see this as anything more than a failed attempt that should be met with a “game over, try again” screen. I’d accept the musical chaos of misshapen ideas if I ever felt it was genuinely warranted. On Evermore, nothing Taylor does is what the audience deserves accompanying – or maybe even improving on – Folklore. Sorry.

Conclusion

Yeah, “no body, no crime” by Taylor Swift featuring HAIM takes the Best of the Week, but it was a toss-up between her and Kid Cudi, who gets the Honourable Mention for “Show Out” with Skepta and Pop Smoke. For the Worst of the Week, it’s really picking your poison between sickly Christmas duets, but I’ll ignore them and give it to Becky Hill for absolutely butchering “Forever Young”, with a Dishonourable Mention also going to Taylor Swift and “willow”. Here’s the top 10 for this week:

You can follow me on Twitter @cactusinthebank for more ramblings and Taylor Swift hot takes, if you’d want to see that. I won’t post another episode before the 25th so, if you’re reading this, merry Christmas, everyone, and I’ll see you on Boxing Day!

[raekaotik]

Here we go?

So, @ebbqol tagged me to do this forever ago. I'm slow as shit, but here it is.

1. Name: Rae

2. Zodiac Sign: Cancer Sun, Aries Moon, Leo Rising. So much fire....

3. Three Fears: Spiders, heights, needles

4. Three Things I Love: Skulls, dragons, the color black

5. My best Friend: What are friends??? Probably my husband, people don't seem to stick around to reach best friend level. And I'm horrible at opening up.

6. Last Song I Listened To: Uuummmm Oh Lord by In This Moment

7. Four Turn ons: Sass, dominance, intelligence, and a sense of humor

8. Four Turn Offs: Loud ignorance, holier-than-thou attitudes, stereotypical girliness, not listening (especially to no)

9. Dream Date Scenario: Something personal, which of course sounds super vague. If an idea/activity/event/anything immediately makes you think of me, then it is most likely a good idea. I don't like flashy or expensive dates, we could literally just watch something on Netflix or get a Redbox and have takeout, and I'll be over the moon. Just give me your time, and I'll try my best to make it worthwhile.

10. Tattoos/ Piercings: I have 6 tattoos, currently; a crescent moon on my hip, a barcode on one ankle and a chain of paper people on the other, Disturbed's Guy and a Hylian shield on one calf, and the Evanescence logo on the other. I only have piercings in my ears; one set is gauged to 00, and I have 2 in the left ear and 3 in the right.

11. Why I joined Tumblr: Truthfully, so I didn't have to steal my husband's phone to look at porn, and I've found all sorts of fun, not perverted things as well. Now there's very little porn on my dash.

12. How I feel Right Now: Tired as shit, but I'm a glutton for punishment.

13. Something I really, really want: My own space to be myself, and people that love me who understand that I just need to be a burrito sometimes.

14. My relationship status: Married with 2 wonderful step kids.

15. The meaning behind my URL: I prefer Raynai, but that spelling was taken.

16. Favorite songs: Shit, umm... Anything Disturbed, Bloody Creature Poster Girl by In This Moment, Battle Born by Five Finger Death Punch, Papa Roach's Born for Greatness, Natural Born Killer by Avenged Sevenfold, Shinedown's cover of Simple Man..... There's a ton along those lines.

17. Favorite Movies: Every Riddick movie, The Emperor's New Groove, A Knight's Tale... I know there's more, but I'm drawing a blank at the mo.

18. Favorite bands: Disturbed, Avenged Sevenfold, Papa Roach, Three Days Grace, In This Moment, Halestorm, Five Finger Death Punch, Shinedown... Oodles

19. Three things that upset me: Not being able to help those I care for, people quick to judge, and being expected to change to appease someone.

20. Three things that make me happy: Creepy-cute things, anything Zelda, tiny versions of things

21. Three things I find attractive in other people: Wit, humility, emotional maturity

22. Something I love: Sleep

23. Someone I miss: My mother

24. My relationship with my parents: My mom, great. I don't really talk to my dad anymore.

25. My favorite holidays: Halloween, Thanksgiving, and 4th of July.

26. Someone from tumblr I would date: Hhrrrmmmmmm yeah. No clue.

27. A confession: I am often too lazy to eat, even though my stomach is making all the rumblies.

28. Favorite drinks: Cherry Coke, ruby red and tangerine juice, Full Throttle.... Ice water is also nice.

29. Favorite foods: Pastas, tomato sauces, BREAD, snacks, candies, sunflower seeds

30. Favorite smells/ scents: Lilac, lavender as long as it's not super strong, jasmine, dragon's blood, burning wood, sulfur..... black cherry

31. Three things that annoy me easily: Being spoken over when actually part of a conversation, being talked down to, and being interrupted while reading.

32. My pets: Oh damn.... 2 dogs, Kara the pit bull and Abbie the pit/lab mix; 2 cats, all black Salem and Tiger the dark tabby; 2 bearded dragons, Dante and Lucifer, and a piebald ball python, Gunn.

33. How I got into witchcraft: Cheesily enough, my mom and I used to watch Charmed all the time when I was little... I was always interested in witchy stuff, and in highschool I started looking into Wicca. It was a decent start, but it didn't quite fit. When I finally moved out I started doing more research, and now here we be. I'm still working out kinks (ha), but I do know that spirit work is a thing I enjoy.

34. My practice/path: I am a beginning spirit worker who's still trying to find her feet. I find Celtic and Norse mythologies interesting but I'm still digging.

35. Something that’s constantly on my mind: ....Yes? I tend to have an internal chatter running, and there's almost always parts of songs floating around in there.

36. Three habits I have: I apologize a lot, and I pick at my nails/cuticles too much, and I don't speak up when I sometimes should.

37. My future goals: To have a stable home life and the income to provide for my family. I don't need to be rich, I just want to be able to pay bills and afford food. I also want to iron out my path and maybe pass it on to future children.

38. Something I fantasize about: Having a tiny house. Clearly not as my main house, but I'd use it for witchcraft or reading or crafting. It'd be my space to be me.

39. Favorite Colors: Black, blood red, hunter green

40. What I did yesterday: Worked. So exciting.

41. My talents: Ummmmm math, sarcasm, chainmaille... This is always a hard question.

42. Celebrity crushes: Lizzy Caplan, Russell Crowe, and Matt Gubler, off the top of my head.

43. Myers- Briggs Type: INFP-T

44. Chinese Zodiac: Year of the Rooster

45. Ideal place to live: Somewhere quiet with lots of trees, preferably near mountains. Not isolated, but not on top of neighbors either.

46. My perfect day: A whole day where I can lay around and do nothing, or anything.

47. Where I want to vacation to: What are vacations?

48. Do I want kids: At some point, but not this minute.

49. My favorite thing to learn about/ study: Learning is awesome, in general, but science is cool as shit.

50. A random fact or quirk about me: My typing style changes a bit when I'm angry. Like, I use proper phrasing and grammar, and tend to stop using contractions like don't or can't.