#or someone will say a phrase that makes me feel like something ominous is about to happen

[psychoticwillgraham]

*is literally fighting it’s body tooth and nail to stop it from going to sleep*

[horizon-verizon]

Everyone is asking why no one listens to Helaena when she hasn’t said anything worth listening to! Every dreamer GRRM has written fought against or worked towards what they saw and here she is giving vague one liners and never acting on it.

Daenys dream about the Doom of Valyria: Convinced her father to leave Valyria before the destruction and saved her family and the entire Targaryen dynasty.

Aegon the Conqueror dream about the Others: United the Seven Kingdoms to prepared the War for the Dawn 

Daenerys dream about dragons in AGOT: Putting together all clues from her dragon dreams and performed magic ritual to wake the dragons.

Helaena being compared to Cassandra of Troy is so funny because her dreams literally serve no impact to the story, she’s not even shown dreaming, she just mumbles nonsensical phrases to give the audience/readers a sneak peek than does nothing about it. Helena’s dreamer’s arc was to say randoms words that she didn’t even understand herself, she never analyzed anything until she had the opportunity to react and was made to look like a horrible mother who didn’t cared about her son. It’s disappointing because changing small things like having her act a little paranoid and ask for more guards or being the tiniest bit more insistent about the rat line could’ve made this work because it would look like she at least tried to save him. She didn’t try to make him understand when it’s clear Aegon was confused. She was coherent enough to tell him not to interfere with Jaehaerys’s education so she should have been able to express even a smidge more about her dragon dreams.

Yes, I'd have to agree. I can't believe I'm defending the greens, but what has Helaena actually said that could clue anyone in on anything ominous or threatening or related to anything happening right here, right now? We have seen no instance of her giving as-clear-as possible warning, actually relating her "dreams" to others. And the only time that the latter occurs is her telling Aegon she's afraid of rats...which no one likes...anyone would need more detail. which again, leads me back to my conclusions that to make this neurodivergent girl a false dreamer who can't communicate her "dreams" very well or seemingly with a lot of low effort essentially just "traps" her within the suffering. Unlike Cassandra who was literally cursed, Helaena's obstacle is her inability to communicate and not necessarily others' unwillingness to listen. So they make her disability a critical element of a fatal hindrance AND it emotionally isolates her away from just about everyone. It leans towards dehumanizing bc Helaena/a disabled person becomes more of a silent, "useless", "burden" whose missed value is in those dreams she can't even communicate.

Just to nail it it again: like I said earlier HERE, a true "vision" (from other/most supernatural/fantasy media) is a full-fledged image or sound from a "scene" as if you are present & experiencing it as if you were there or observing it movie-like:

a mental image of what the future will or could be like an experience of seeing someone or something in a dream or trance, or as a supernatural apparition a vivid mental image, especially a fanciful one of the future

What HotD!Helaena is actually "intuition":

the power or faculty of attaining to direct knowledge or cognition without evident rational thought and inference immediate apprehension or cognition knowledge or conviction gained by intuition quick and ready insight

We see no evidence at all of her having fully fledged visions, jsut these "feelings" for us to even qualify her abilities as actual dragon "dreams". Every dragon ASoIAF dream that has been described has been visions as opposed to intuition. And every single dragon dream is told as being "nightmare[s]", "dream[s],". Dany sleeps, dreams, and has her visions that way

(the Qartheen House of the undying are not dragon dreams, Dany had to drink shade of the evening to see whatever the visions these Qartheen warlocks brought her to se and eventually trap her):

“When you come to the chamber of the Undying, be patient. Our little lives are no more than a flicker of a moth’s wing to them. Listen well, and write each word upon your heart.” When they reached the door—a tall oval mouth, set in a wall fashioned in the likeness of a human face—the smallest dwarf Dany had ever seen was waiting on the threshold. He stood no higher than her knee, his faced pinched and pointed, snoutish, but he was dressed in delicate livery of purple and blue, and his tiny pink hands held a silver tray. Upon it rested a slender crystal glass filled with a thick blue liquid: shade of the evening, the wine of warlocks. “Take and drink,” urged Pyat Pree. “Will it turn my lips blue?” “One flute will serve only to unstop your ears and dissolve the caul from off your eyes, so that you may hear and see the truths that will be laid before you.” Dany raised the glass to her lips. The first sip tasted like ink and spoiled meat, foul, but when she swallowed it seemed to come to life within her. She could feel tendrils spreading through her chest, like fingers of fire coiling around her heart, and on her tongue was a taste like honey and anise and cream, like mother’s milk and Drogo’s seed, like red meat and hot blood and molten gold. It was all the tastes she had ever known, and none of them . . . and then the glass was empty. A Clash of Kings -- Daenerys IV

[sonicfrontiers]

youre the person who got me to watch a playthrough of mouthwashing so youre the one i'll ask - who's saying/thinking "i hope this hurts" and who is it directed to?

oh i'm happy/sorry to hear that i'm the one who got you to watch it lol!

honestly this is something that i've wondered a lot myself. despite the fact that i've watched like 5 playthroughs of mouthwashing there are still so many things that i still don't think i've fully grasped - for instance, i was very confused about the point of the nightmare sequence curly has during the first flashback (curly isn't going to do anything, so what's with the ominous red plane and alarms?) until i saw someone in the tag posit that it could represent curly willfully ignoring and wading past all of jimmy's warning signs, and it clicked.

as for "i hope this hurts," like i said, i'm honestly not sure. the simplest answer to me is that it's a representation of jimmy's train of thought; his envy of curly's position and power manifesting as resentment for curly, his looking down on anya and seeing her as something lesser and to be used, his general distaste with swansea (afaik the two of them never have anything nice to say to each other, right?), and his resentment of daisuke as well (for having parents that "have him covered"). everything he does, he does to hurt the rest of them. now i don't think that's his conscious belief - he probably justifies it to himself with the same talk he uses against the rest of them. it's not his fault, he's the responsible one, he deserves to be captain, etc, etc. but at a core level, he's hurting them because he can, and he wants to. it makes him feel better. it makes him feel more powerful. so, i hope this hurts.

realistically i believe this is most likely, however there are plenty of other interpretations of the phrase that hold water too! what's most interesting to me are the places it shows up - namely, at the start of the game, under the rest of the information given about the tulpar crew.

i don't really know if i have anything totally concrete to say about this, but i do find it really interesting that this is how it all starts. if the rest of this information is from a given source, is "i hope this hurts" from that same source too? and if that's the case, who or what is that source? pony express? i honestly doubt "i hope this hurts" is from the company though. pony express isn't malicious, it just doesn't care.

so... dunno where that leaves this train of thought, lol. just something that's been nagging at me. i could be grasping at nothing though! i just think it's really interesting that "i hope this hurts" is important enough to be given to us to frame the entire rest of the game alongside setting the scene of the long haul space freighter.

you could probably construe it to be from curly towards jimmy, if you wanted - perhaps his desire for revenge after jimmy causes what mutilates him, unable to be spoken but manifesting in these words throughout the game. maybe it's jimmy's guilty conscience. maybe it can represent each of the crew members in their own ways.

i'm open to any of these interpretations! one of the best parts of pieces of art like mouthwashing that are so short yet packed full of meaning is that little bits like these can be taken and stretched out to fit so many interesting different viewpoints, so i'm really glad you asked me to share mine! it made me think about this in ways i haven't before :) and i hoped this helped you think about it too!

[thewhumpcaretaker]

♥︎ Whump Dating Sim: Longing for Flight - Part 4 ♥︎

Current Heart Level: ♥︎♡♡♡♡ (1/5)

Last Poll | Masterlist | Image Source

Last week, we had a tie between two answers, so I chose, “Let him go. Tell him about the chip, that your people will protect him.” I also rolled a die (virtually) to determine whether Allister would be able to remove the tracking chip. I rolled on Allister’s behalf against a difficulty of 12. It was a 6, so he is not able to find and remove it. He’s also very happy with your decision! You get two more relationship points, for a total of six! That’s over five points, so you now have one heart with Allister. He considers you to be someone worthy of at least a small amount of trust – you’re a friendly acquaintance who has helped him. He feels safer with you around.

I'll post a "heart event" at some point!!

CW: hospital setting, walking with injuries

“Okay! Okay, we’ll let you go to this rendezvous point. Meet your handlers. Just please don’t hurt yourself.”

They stop struggling right away, although they're still dealing with the aftereffects of panic. They look a bit stunned. “…What? Really?”

“Yes. I’ll have to talk to my higher-ups, but I’m in charge of this project, and if I say you go, then you go. …And there’s something else I need you to know. “ You take a deep breath. He’s probably not going to like this, but you can’t stand to lie to him anymore. “During your treatment, our physicians embedded a tracking chip under your skin. We – “

“What!? Where is it?” He’s looking at his arms, but he won’t be able to find it. It’s on his back, where he hopefully can’t reach.

“I’m sorry, I know it’s not ideal. But it does mean that we may be able to help you. We’re going to find out the information that you can’t safely tell us. We’ll see where you go, and we’ll be there to rescue you as soon as we can.” You try to sound more confident than you feel. The Operator is slippery – who knows what could happen. But it’s as solid a plan as you’re going to get.

That look of stunned disbelief only magnifies. They lean back against their pillow, just staring at you in wonder. “I haven’t…even considered that possibility in so long…” He shakes his head and seems to come back to himself. “No, you won’t be able to do it. Security is too tight.”

“I – “

“No. I’m not getting my hopes up. But…thank you. I’m glad we got the chance to talk. You don’t know how much peace you’ve given me. Sometimes I forget that there are decent people, on the outside. I’ll be surviving on that memory in the coming months.”

Months? You wonder about that choice of wording, but you don’t comment. All you say is, "You're welcome. I've done almost nothing, really."

He’s still jittery. “Can we get going? It’s already too late but the sooner I get there…well, let’s just say my punishment will fit the crime.”

You do your best to ignore that ominous phrasing. You’re coming for him. You’ll get to him before anything can happen, it’ll be fine. “Yeah, I’ll get the medics to unhook everything.”

So the IVs come out and he gets his clothes, his wallet. You hate to see him up and moving in this state. He's unsteady, trailing a hand against the wall on the way to the door but he refuses a crutch. “I’ve been in worse shape,” he says. You stay at his side in case he falls.

“Do you want us to drive you?” God it hurts to watch them limping like that, trying not to favor either the leg that was shot in the thigh, or the side that was shot through the abdomen.

“No. You can’t know where I’m going. Or at least…they can’t know that you know. Not right away. Once I'm out there, stay at a distance. Don’t come until you see that my tracker has stopped moving for a while, okay?”

“Okay.”

They comes to a rest against the double glass doors, a hand on the lever and their soft, golden hair glowing in the sunset. He’s panting from the exertion of just that short walk, and he's about to have to walk for probably miles more, but you have no doubt he’ll make it to wherever he’s going. “In case we don’t meet again…Thank you. So much. You shouldn’t have to be doing this.”

You scoff. “Hey, I’m not some civilian. This is my job, and facing off against The Operator was my choice. We’re gonna make sure you’re okay.”

But he won’t look at you. He’s scared, you can tell, and it’s as much for you as for himself. “You have to understand how badly I want him dead. It’s the only thing that matters, the only thing that keeps me going. There’s no normal life for me after…after all this. There’s only his death. If it weren’t for the possibility that you can give me an opening, that I can actually take him down… I’d tell everyone to stay the hell away. But this may be the best chance anyone’s had in years, and The Operator’s downfall is bigger than just you or me.” He shifts his weight against the pain automatically, hardly noticing it. You wonder how long it’s been since his own pain mattered to him.

You nod. “I don’t plan on fucking this up.” And, because you can’t let that slide without saying something more, you add…

Tagging: @bluelolblue

Please comment, ask, etc. to be added to a tag list for updates!

[rosewoodconch]

RWCH Readathon 2024: Day 4

Underciver Princess - Chapter 9

THE GIRLIES GET TO BOND! FINALLY

Im on a train so his is literally my thoughts as i listen to the audiobook instead of reading a physical book

I really love the visual of Ani and Ellie painting each others nails... stay tuned for something about that tomorrow? ;)

Ellie tidied the room! I really adore that Ellies messiness isnt necessarily gone, but you can try that Ellie has really tried to sort it out

AND OH MY GOD

WHAT DO YOU MEAN STANDING IN JUST BRIEFS

We were too casual about this

Also you can wear a bra or tank top to dye your hair trust me i do it every month

This is the gayest thing I've ever read and I've been on ao3 since i was 12

The velvet underground is excellent, and i think you should all go listen to them

Their lil apologies and the "Mr Truffles." Im dying i love them

NON BINARY / ANDROGENOUS ELLIE MY BELOVED

Baby gender funky

Ellie is legit the reason i figured out i maybe was gender funky so shoutout to ellie wolf the most gender ever

Even though ellie did get to choose Rosewood that easily, i like that she can still kind of relate to lottie in that it wasn't the easiest thing to get there, even though they have different circumstances

I like that ellie really genuinely is in awe of ellie and shes trying to say that

But honestly yeah some of the others probably wont apprciate it as much as them both because they almost couldnt go here

"Ill gladly beat them up for you" cut to Edmunds nose...

"I'm perfectly capable of beating up my own enemies" well... not yet, but you'll get there

Honestly yeah. Dying hair is a true bonding experience. I remember my gf dying my hair for the first time and its one of the... most non romantic non sexual but intimate things

Maybe Charles boyle from b99 had a point about the shampoo...

The kitchen sounds like heaven

"Like she'd found a little home with her" GUYS IM CRYING ON A TRAIN I CANT DO THIS

Right onto the "Bad Thing"

Thats the most scary way she could've phrased that

Poor lottie she just wanted to please

Adina devine once again could punch me and I'd thank her

I love Ellie so much, shes such a little actress

Prof devine is so chaotic good i adore her

I feel like theres not enough fan art of their pajamas!??!?!? Ellie likes star wars and we dont talk about that enough

I love their lil blossoming friendship, the way they cant stay mad or cross and just burst out laughing theyre so sweet

William tufty!!! What a man

I have such a perfect image of this room in my mind, but a glass table is no where in it that feels so wrong

I dont like the term loveseat

I think that this scene and the interaction between prof and devine proves that she knows ellies identity. We never get confirmation of it, but like... someone must have her actual legal documents right? For exams and stuff?

"The fates have placed you together" UGH I NEED A SOULMATE AU RIGHT NOW

All of devines speech at the end of this bit feels like its got so much power behind it, like shes casting a spell.

She understands these girls so intensely that I wonder if she had a similar experience when she was a student. Did she go to Rosewood?

"We can achieve amazing things when we uplift one another"

Reminds me so much of "no one can make you feel inferior without your consent" from YOU GUESSED IT Barbie Princess Charm School

I promise I'll have a different comparison eventually

Theyre a little sanctuary 😭😭😭

Finally, the ominous little bit about the rumour, growing like weeds in the grounds of rosewood is so poetic and so full of suspense i love it so much

It really sets up quite how dangerous the rumour could and will be

It also comes back to the whole thing about Lottie being somehow tied to the roses and garden. And the rumour and things stirring as weeds, here to disrupt her perfect life at Rosewood

And we're so back. This is the chapter that lowkey gave me faith again. The way the settings are described and the character motivations are softly shown and they feel like real moving characters.

I really appreciate this humanising Devine too, while also making her seem otherworldly at the same time. It's like a heightened version of Binahs almost omniscience.

All in all, this chapter makes me really happy and i need fan art of all of it please @ Rosewood artists

[starjane312]

Kit Tanthalos x OC

Big Masterlist

Masterlist

Chapter 28

With wobbly knees I get back up. I unwrap Miles and hand him to Boorman. 

J: Keep an eye on him.

Me Jade and Graydon start running towards the Edge.

B: Whoa ! Wait before we do anything irrevocably stupid…

We stop and Look at him. 

J: There’s nothing to discuss Boorman !

B: No ? You ever heard the phrase, “ If your Paramour jumps of the edge of the World, wait and think for one second before you follow her.”

G: No. I don’t think I’ve ever heard that one before.

J: And I did think. I gave you Miles. 

B: Not what I meant. 

Ja: A leap of faith. That’s how you get to the Immemorial City, right ?

We look at Willow.

W: It’s Possible.

G,J: Then let’s go.

W: It’s also Possible they were supposed to go alone. That we are not meant to follow.

B: See ? Wait. Why ?

W: For Madmartigan, protecting the World meant protecting Elora. When he chose to fight the Wrym from within, He told Allagash that his child would Shoulder that Responsibility for him. Kit is Elora’s Protector.

J: And who protects Kit ? I do. For Tir Asleen and Sorsha, and …

W: Because you Love her.

J: Yes I do. And when you love someone and they need you, yes you Jump off the edge of the World and go and get to them !

Ja: This is bigger than Aryk and the Crone. I can feel it. This is the Beginning of a War. 

J: And they Can’t win it alone.

Jade and I look at Eachother, nod, run to the Edge and Jump. With a Splash we both land in water. Graydon comes after us. I stumble out the Water and Spit out the Water. It’s raining.

J: So we lived. And we’re Wet. Again !

Jade nods. I help Graydon up and we Start walking. We climb some Rocks. When we see it we all stop.

J: Holy shit. 

Ja: Woah. 

G: That’s Probably it, huh ?

I nod.

B: Oi ! Did you not hear me Shouting ?

We turn to see Boorman running to us.

J: Where is my Son ?!

B: Willow has him and they’re on their way to Willows home. He's gonna keep an Eye on him until you Return. 

Hestops next to us.

B: Woah.

Ja: Yeah.

B: You guys seen anyone around ?

G: Nope. 

B: What about that ? You see that ?

We look at a Giant thundering Cloud.

G: Ah terrific.

J: Yeah, that’s just great. 

Ja. By the Time the suns sets, it’ll be here. 

B: And the What, huh ? It’s dark, windy, probably the end of the World. I guess what I’m saying is… if either of you two wanna make out really quick I’d be up for it.

J: Oh come on Boorman Ew.

G: So what’s the Plan ? We just go down there and see what Happens ?

J: Jep.

B: Great strategic minds of Tomorrow, right here.

Ja: What do you suggest ?

B: Well I already suggested that we Kiss, but you blew me off. So in Lieu of that…

He kneels down takes a hand full of the Dusty stuff that lays ever where and Slaps it in his Face.

B: … Camouflage.

I raise my Eyebrows.

J: Well better than our Idea.

We all do that and go into the City. We hide behind a Rock.

B: Okay now.

We get up and the Dust flows into our Mouths. We cough and spit it out. 

J: Ok this … 

Ja: This is so Silly. There’s no one here.

B: Oh Thy’re here. They’re hiding. 

J: From Who ?

B: From us. 

G: Well, if they’re hiding from us, that means they know that we’re here. In which case, who are we Hiding from ?

B: From them.

Jade sighs and I roll my eyes.

B: It’s like you’ve never snuck into an undead city before.

J: Have you ?

I get up. Jade does the same, so does Graydon.

Ja: Okay I’m getting up.

B: What ? No. Wait.

G: Yeah. Sorry Buddy. Me too. 

We start walking to a Door. When something whoshes in front of us. We all pull our Swords.

Ja: That’s Ominous.

J: Death dogs. 

We keep walking. But stop again in front of an empty fountain, which stands before the Door.

Ja: They're in there.

J: I know it.

We both walk to it. But the Door won’t open.

J: Hey Magic flute now’s your turn. Open this thing.

G: Right, I'm a Sorcerer.

He nods and walks to it. The cloud comes closer and Closer.

Ja: How's it Going ?

G: I’m Trying. It’s strong Magic.

J: Hurry Up !

He trys again.

Ja: Time’s of the Essence, guys.

B: Hurry up Mate. 

G: I’m Trying. 

The cloud gets to close.

B: Open the damn Door !

I watch in horror as Boorman turns to stone then everything Turns Black.

[i-need-death]

We're Doomed from A.I

So I've asked A.I to give me reasons on why this site is a purgatoryscape, heavenscape, hellscape, and limboscape. Safe to say, we're screwed if A.I can even ESTIMATE how odd tumblr is.

Here are some reasons Tumblr is both wildly bizarre and endlessly captivating:

1. The Lore-Generating Machine

Tumblr can turn anything into an epic saga. Whether it’s a screenshot of someone’s typo or a random observation about frogs, users collectively expand the joke until it’s a sprawling, pseudo-mythological universe. Examples include the Horse Plinko discourse or the inexplicable rise of Goncharov (1973), a completely fictional Scorsese film that now has fanfiction, fan art, and detailed analyses.

2. Inside Jokes That Defy Reality

Tumblr is a place where jokes have no punchline, yet they thrive. Classics like:

“I like your shoelaces.” “Thanks, I got them from the president.”

The ominous phrase “do you love the color of the sky?”

And "Bees???? Bees." These are utterly incomprehensible to outsiders, but to users, they're shorthand for shared chaos.

3. Unapologetically Chaotic Creativity

Tumblr users will take a simple concept and run with it. It’s home to Shakespearean shitposts, cross-fandom debates, and anthropomorphized internet phenomena like the "Tumblr Userbase Hive-Mind," which users half-jokingly treat as a sentient entity.

4. Fanfiction and Shipping Culture

Tumblr revolutionized fandom spaces. It’s where tropes like “tag yourself” or AO3 comment memes originated, and every conceivable (or inconceivable) romantic pairing has a home. It’s also the birthplace of some iconic fanon—just look at the memes surrounding Supernatural, Destiel, or Sherlock.

5. Tags Are Their Own Medium

Tumblr’s tag system isn’t just for organization; it’s for thoughts too wild for the post itself. People write essays, crack jokes, or scream incoherently in the tags. Example:

Post: “I love frogs.” Tags: #FROGS ARE JUST. SO. #have you ever seen one???? #they’re like tiny green philosophers on legs.

6. The Unholy Blend of Wholesome and Cursed

Wholesome: "Look at this cute picture of a cat I saw today!"

Cursed: “What if that cat was God? Anyway, here’s a cursed drawing of him eating a cheesecake.”

7. The Great "Website of Contrasts"

Tumblr oscillates between:

Beautiful, profound art and poetry.

Shitposts that read like they were written at 3 AM after a gallon of coffee. Sometimes these two things are the same post.

8. Everyone’s a Comedian, Philosopher, and Cryptid

Tumblr humor thrives on being purposefully obtuse, self-deprecating, or eerily wise in ways that make you laugh and then question your existence. Examples:

“The mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell. But what powers you?”

"If you're feeling useless today, remember: someone made a ladder for a snake."

9. Absence of Algorithms = Pure Chaos

Without TikTok’s or Instagram’s hyper-targeted algorithms, Tumblr feeds are a free-for-all. You could scroll past a poignant essay on queer identity, a Doctor Who gifset, and a post screaming, “CRABS ARE THE FINAL FORM OF EVOLUTION,” all in the same minute.

10. It Just Doesn’t Care

Tumblr is a place where cringe doesn’t exist, and sincerity can coexist with irony. It's a space where people post their deepest secrets or scream into the void—and others validate them with notes, reblogs, or completely unhinged additions.

11. Everything Is Canon and Nothing Is Real

On Tumblr, you can claim something ridiculous—like, “In the 1600s, people used to eat tulip bulbs like apples”—and people will roll with it. Whether it’s fact or fiction is irrelevant because it’s funny.

In short, Tumblr is a digital chaos void where sincerity, irony, creativity, and humor collide—and somehow, it works.

[usagifuyusummer]

Same lmao 🤝

I also, I guess, lack confidence in myself to create coherent fiction or Picasso level art.

I always doubt myself a lot when undergoing creative processes that it makes me abandon a lot of projects that I thought I could publish. It is also due to me still studying that I couldn't exactly fulfil my creative needs and projects to my full heart's content.

BUT, you gotta start from somewhere right? So, for now, just write something, anything, that you feel like sharing. And eventually, you'll learn from your mistakes and get better at posting these kinds of stuff.

I'm also kinda new at creating these AU stuff. I usually just do fanart, but sometimes not all of your ideas can go through visually. (That takes a lot of time. That's what I learned.)

So, now, I just post fanart/any kind of art whenever I can, even when I know it won't get much reception or views. Just think about these activities as practice rounds and maybe someday, one day, you'll be able to reach the heights that you dreamt of. So, start somewhere!

I'm also like you lol, just with less time to spend on my creative projects. I know practice is boring, but that's where most people who are as talentless as me get a start on.

Most importantly, for me at least, I've learned to never chase for online popularity/shares/likes when creating any form of art. If you only create art for that singular purpose, it gets exhausting and steadily you will lose the interest in the art of creation. (these are one of the reasons why i'm really inactive in the past, also uni stuff lol)

Don't get me wrong, it's still really gratifying to see that people appreciate your hard earned work, but not all of us get the lucky ticket that is to be recognized and loved by many. So, some of us just gotta live alone with obscurity for the rest of our short lives. (that's just my cynicism talking lol)

What I'm trying to say is I guess, you should do this because you love it. You care about it, and you want to share your love for this concept with others. I'm doing that currently, and so far, I can at least produce and share some artworks. Even if its not perfect.

It's okay. There's still time to learn. Success/Popularity doesn't come immediately for most people. I hope you get my points here regarding fanwork creations lol.

Besides that, on your horror FOP AU, it's essentially a video game AU? Am I understanding it wrong? Like those old creepypastas? Where maybe..., I'll give you an example;

One day, Timmy found an old game cartridge when visiting the game store for the new Crash Nebula game. He thought the cover looked plain and boring, it's just a cellophone tape plasted and on top of it where scribbled phrases made with marker written, "FAIRY FRENZY", scribbled below that, is a very unimpressive ominous description, "do not play this game it will haunt you". Timmy, suspecting that this is just someone's stupid attempt at a prank for some poor fellow in the past decided to just buy the old game cartridge. It's cheap and his parents don't really check up on what he buys anyway.

Skipping through...

After a while of playing the Fairy Frenzy game, Timmy found out that it was just a regular platforming game, kind of similar to the Mario Bros. ones. He actually finds the game to be fun, so he continued on indulging himself on playing the game to his heart's content.

Skipping through...

Timmy finds it weird that Cosmo, Wanda and Poof haven't returned from Fairy World though. Maybe this is one of their "a week leave" trips there. Still, he has been playing the game for quite awhile and found it peculiar why everything was so... quiet. He decided to go downstairs for a quick snack from the kitchen. When he stepped into the hallway outside of his room, suddenly all of the lights in the house went off. Then he hears..., a voice..., "Cosmo, Wanda... why did you leave me?...". Hearing that, Timmy called out to that voice, "Who's there?! Uh, if you guys are pranking me again, I will talk to the April Fools fairy for double payback!!!". The voice did not respond. Timmy then just decides to shake it off as some sort of hunger induced hallucination. He has been spending too much time in his room lately...

Like that? Tell me if I'm massively wrong lmao. I wrote all of those examples on a whim lol. Maybe it will be a future stupid ass fic hahaha.

Hm, I do think you need more work on your elaboration of the AU. Maybe make a separate post with the appropriate horror AU title? Take your time though. There's no need to rush these creative processes lol.

I'm more neutral on FOP's popularity standing on other social medias though. I have no desire for it to be as popular as maybe Danny Phantom? Still, I won't mind if it gets popular though.

(It's because I hate Twitter/X lmao, so sorry. I don't like how the fanarts or posts there are so difficult to find. There's no appropriate tagging system, even if its there, most people won't use it because yeah, I understand they want their privacy... Still, I would appreciate your art more if you tagged it properly on where I can find it.)

Hm, those are my thoughts on what we're discussing so far.

A scandalous episode for many, which in my opinion changes the general image of fairies (clearly not for the better)

Many people were shocked, to put it mildly, after watching this episode. And many were unhappy and even more frightened by the behavior of Cosmo and Wanda, which I can't help but agree with. However, I liked this episode on the contrary. It shows the darker evil nature of fairies and how crazy they can sometimes become if someone simply offends their child. And it doesn't matter that this is their godson. Because of this, it now really seems to me that fairies are not who they pretend to be and the creators sometimes directly show this. For example, this phase of fairies at 2 years old(terrible twosome) when they start to go crazy and rebel against everything. You will say that "it's just a phase." Really? And the fact that Poof almost destroyed the entire Earth in this episode is considered "just a phase"? The fact that fairies can destroy all life just because of this phase begins to worry. Like, what makes them do all these terrible things? A sudden change in behavior or ….. an inner voice inside that is their secret dark essence??And if you remember the anti-fairies who are the complete opposite of fairies, then I'm starting to seriously think that they are less dangerous than them. And this is not the only scandalous episode…

(Poor Timmy… What the heck??)

And going back to that scandalous episode, I had a thought: "what if all this was true?" Because Cosmo and Wanda were enjoying this suspiciously so much and it all looked extremely realistic.. And the fact that they really left Timmy with injuries and bruises made me think that this is true and they really turn into monsters after 8 hours. And you know what? This would be a great idea for more lore between fairies and anti fairies (they, as opposites in THIS way, would look incredibly cool). And it would also be a great idea for creating some kind of horror game (well, just a note)

*Redacted

+comments to this episode

This is really.. something….

[b-blushes]

i am genuinely asking bc i'm curious of other people's perspectives on this - thoughts on being the 'ruin the fun' guy when someone seems into a topic you're suspicious of? For example (but not the only applicable situation I find tricky to navigate!): robot deliveries are being trialed in the UK. Most news stories are positive (using words like 'cute', imo generally phrased to make the reader empathise or feel positively about these robots, imo generally phrased to make them seem innocent and 'just a little guy!'). i'm suspicious of this. Firstly because all the news i can see is positive which makes me think, why is everyone saying the same thing? who is benefiting from this story? what are they leaving out? Also because of a bunch of other issues such as accessibility (Blind people, Deaf people, wheelchair users, all the other reasons that might cause issues interacting with an inanimate object potentially blocking a pedestrian area), what is this a stepping stone to, automation of 'unskilled' labour (i don't believe 'unskilled' labour is a thing really), what are the impacts of robots with cameras being blithely (in a widespread sense) accepted into our daily lives, why do we need them in the first place? but uhh to respond to someone who seems enthusiastic about them with 'hmmm i don't trust them' or any of the above points spoils the fun! we are having a nice time talking about cute robots/insert any other thing that at surface level DOES seem nice and fun but has potentially ominous implications!

Any thoughts on how to handle this? Is being the 'spoil the fun' guy a bad thing? Is it better to just vaguely agree with them? (We are all adults here, so that seems kind of insulting in a way?) Is it just not that deep and I should just keep my opinion to myself? HMM okay in writing this out i think i came to the conclusion that i feel uncomfortable because it's an uncomfortable thing to do to oppose something someone is excited about, BUT not necessarily that it's wrong to do that. Sometimes that's a mean thing to do and you shouldn't do it, but there's got to be nuance in when avoiding mutual discomfort is 'better' and when it's just you wanting to avoid being seen to be the bad guy™? So me hedging on the topic is maybe more about not wanting to hurt anyone's feelings or worrying about being seen as mean or a conspiracy theorist. But I'm still stuck on, like, is this issue an actual issue aka worthy of saying 'i don't like this', and how do you tell? :P

[whatwillyoudodifferently]

Look, Louts! Lilies! - Yuri For A Hope-Flung Present and Hopeful Future

Look, I’ll be frank. I typically try to keep to a more formal tone when I write for this blog. I’m not in a formal mood. It is June October 2020, and I, like the rest of you, have been under quarantine for a little over three almost seven months now due to the Covid-19 virus. Throw in a eensy, teensy bit of massive political movements and change in response to police violence and racism, and an increase of police violence and racism in response to those movements, and I think it’s fair to say it’s been a tumultuous couple of months. Except, strangely, it also hasn’t been, because so much of this time has been characterized by ennui and isolation. Stressful, yet soul-numbing. In short, it’s been a very weird place to be in.

So, we’ve all found our different ways to cope. My sister’s way has been getting really into succulents(?), and my way has been buying digital manga and video games. I’ve finished stuff I’ve put off for literal years and bought stuff I had heard was good but wasn’t that hyped to get into. And somehow, the one thing I’ve really gotten into has been yuri? 

Now, yuri has a very long and rich history, as well as its own sets of conventions and nuances, so it is with a great, great, GREAT deal of respect that I say that I’m going to simplify it for this essay as “Japanese media with a particular focus on romance between women” for brevity’s sake. If you want to know more, there’s actually quite a lot that’s been written about it in English, but I’m aiming this essay at English-speakers who have had at least a little experience with yuri and more than just passing knowledge.

Because you see, I’ve found that yuri fans have a lot of things to say about yuri! And a lot of those things really bug me!! “Yuri is only fetish quasi-porn written by men,” “yuri is only bland wholesome fluff,” “yuri is only high school drama,” so on, so on. It made me mad, but it also made me realize something: a lot of people simply must not know how big this field of lilies truly is! How else can we get people saying “yuri is oversexualized” and “yuri is sexless” as gospel truth? Something’s not adding up here, guys!

So, all that is to say I’m doing something different for this blog: I’m writing up a recommendation list of yuri. A large chunk of it will be stuff I’ve read and can officially give my seal of approval to, while some of them are just titles I’ve heard of that I think will interest others. All of them have been specifically chosen to counter common untrue things I’ve heard about yuri as a whole. I hope you can find at least a few things on this list that you will enjoy and help you keep your head as the encroaching darkness lurches yet a few inches closer!

1. “Yuri is all schoolgirl stuff! Where’s the sci-fi, the period pieces, the action, the fantasy?”

Otherside Picnic

What It Is: A light novel series written by Iori Miyazawa (illustrated by shirakaba). Ongoing, four volumes at time of writing. The story is being adapted into a manga by Eita Mizuno, and an anime adaptation directed by Takuya Satou will be airing in January 2021.

What It’s About: It was on her third trip to the Otherside that Sorawo Kamikoshi almost died, and it was on that same trip she was saved by an angel. Toriko Nishina is a beautiful and confident young woman who also happens to have intimate knowledge of the Otherside, a dangerous yet captivating world that Sorawo can’t help but being drawn to. Toriko convinces Sorawo to join her on her expeditions to the Otherside, fighting off bizarre creatures that have somehow been ripped out of Japanese urban legends and finding strange artifacts in order to make a little extra cash-- all the while keeping an eye out for someone dear to Toriko’s heart.

What I Think: Otherside Picnic is heavily inspired by the novel Roadside Picnic by Arkady and Boris Strugatsky and features several creatures and scenarios from ghost stories, net lore, and-- there’s no other way to put this-- creepypasta. On paper this sounds deeply unoriginal, so it’s pretty surprising that OP has an incredibly strong identity. The idea of fusing horror with a yuri love story excited me enough the moment I heard about it, so when I finally got to read it for myself, I was delighted to find that the horror elements and the romance elements are both quite strong. 

I will say that thanks to the author’s commitment to following his sources of inspiration to the letter sometimes causes him to undercut his own writing (good example: in one arc there’s an ominous train that keeps being mentioned, causing the reader to dread its arrival with each passing page, but seeing what’s on the train will inevitably fall flat in comparison to the reader’s imagination), but those moments are made up by the more original moments-- the things that are left unseen and unexplained.

The place where the story truly shines is the relationship between the two leads. Sorawo and Toriko are great characters, both incredibly charming and deeply flawed, and they achieve a great chemistry with each other right off the bat. Sorawo is a very interesting protagonist, one who turns out to have a deeply tragic past that has made her into a reclusive, somewhat selfish young woman. What’s great is that Toriko, vivacious and confident, everything Sorawo isn’t, accepts this part of her, in a way. Toriko flat out admits she’s not looking for a particularly virtuous person to accompany her, but an “accomplice.” A big part of the appeal of OP is seeing these two “accomplices” bounce off each other, and eventually come to care about each other, all playing against a background of some genuinely spine-crawling horror. Otherside Picnic is a truly underrated series, and I deeply hope that the anime adaption next year will finally get it all the eyes it deserves (menacing phrasing very much intended).

Where To Get It: The light novels are published by J-Novel Club and can be found via various digital platforms and bookstores. The manga will be published by Square Enix Books starting May 2021. The anime will start airing on January 4th, 2021.

Goodbye My Rose Garden

What It Is: A manga by Dr. Pepperco. Three volumes, complete. It inspired a stage play that ran for a while in Japan, but not much information is available about it in English. 

What It’s About: Hanako has two goals: to meet Victor Franks, the mysterious author who pens the books she adores, and to become a writer herself. Despite having the mettle to travel to England on her own to pursue her dreams, she soons finds that it’s difficult for a young, unwed Japanese woman to dream in 20th century London. However, her luck seems to turn around when she meets Alice Douglas, a noblewoman who offers her a job as her maid-- as well as a surprisingly warm friendship. Alice even offers Hanako a way to meet her idol… but at the price of a horrifying request.

What I Think: In the afterword of Volume 1, Dr. Pepperco openly admits that Goodbye, My Rose Garden was the result of them trying to marry all of their favorite tropes (“Victorian maids! Loads of frills! An English family manor!” are some standout items), and this is apparent in the best way possible. GMRG is a lush period piece that will likely appeal to fans of movies like The Handmaiden and Portrait Of A Lady On Fire, with loving attention paid to details like clothes and settings. 

The relationship between Alice and Hanako is quite charming, with Alice supporting Hanako as much as she can while still taking every available opportunity to tease her, while Hanako constantly surprises Alice each time she shows her moxie and strength. It’s an adorable, sweet dynamic, yet a dark, melancholy weight lurks in the background in the form of Alice’s request-- in short, it’s a relationship that feels tailor made for me. Still, I believe this “darkness” never threatens to overwhelm the story, only enhance it in such a way that the reader will soldier on, hoping for a happy ending for our two leads. With an engaging plot and gorgeous art, this is a great manga for both longtime yuri fans and newcomers looking for an introduction to the world of yuri.

Where To Get It: Seven Seas Entertainment has translated the first two volumes, with the final one coming to English soon all three volumes into English.

Seabed

What It Is: A visual novel by paleontology, a Japanese doujin circle.

What It���s About: Mizuno Sachiko is a designer who is haunted by visions of Takako, her vivacious childhood friend and former lover. Narasaki Hibiki is a psychiatrist who wants to help Sachiko make sense of these hallucinations. Takako is… confused, trying to figure out why she keeps losing her memory and why she and Sachiko drifted apart despite being so close. Seabed is a story that spans the pasts and presents of these three women as they attempt to find and understand the truth.

What I Think: At first glance, Seabed seems simple, but it’s a bit of a hard story to explain. In a way, there isn’t much to explain-- it’s a very slow, down-to-earth story that gets almost tedious at times. I think it would be a hard sell to someone who isn’t used to visual novels, but I could imagine it being challenging even for fans. All I’ll say is this: if you give Seabed a chance, it will draw you into a surreal, gentle, melancholy tale akin to slowly sinking beneath the water of a strange, yet not unfriendly sea. For its simplicity, it’s got quite a few surprises in its long, long runtime, and any attempt to explain further will just ruin an experience that’s meant to wash over the reader over time. The only thing I’ll say is the one thing I think everyone knows: the climax will make you cry.

Where To Get It: Seabed is published in English through Fruitbat Factory and is available on Steam, Itch.io, and Nintendo Switch.

SHWD

What It Is: A manga by Sono. Ongoing.

What It’s About: Sawada is one of the few women working for the Special Hazardous Waste Disposal, and the only one in her office. But that changes when the stunningly-strong yet staggeringly-sweet Koga is hired, and the two become close in no time. Sawada trains Koga and soon the two go on their first mission to dispose of the “hazardous waste” left after a recent war… the dangerous, organic anti-human weapons known as the Dynamis.

What I Think: SHWD opens with several close-ups of Sawada’s arm muscles as she works out. I have found that page alone is sometimes enough to convince someone to read SHWD, and if not, pictures of Sawada and-- especially-- Koga are often enough to do the job. In all seriousness, what I love about SHWD can be summarized by something Sono said in an interview about the manga:

‘The first motivating force was "I want to write a yuri manga featuring strong women." I was very drawn to strong female characters by watching "PERSON of INTEREST" and "Assassin's Creed Odyssey." However, I felt that I should differentiate myself by doing something other than a "strong woman" and "weak woman" dynamic. So, I thought about coupling women with different types of strength. This is why all of the SHWD main characters are "strong women."’

It’s a mindset I love a lot. Koga is remarkably strong in a physical sense, but her mental fortitude is fragile due to her past experiences with the Dynamis, and as such, it’s Sawada who uses her immense mental strength to support her. Indeed, every character in SHWD so far bears intense trauma born of the Dynamis in some way, and it’s hard to see how their pasts still hurt them in the present. But that just makes it satisfying to see these women come together to support one another. SHWD drew me in with a unique and often dark action-oriented story with horror elements, but it’s this idea of “strong women” who make up for each other’s weaknesses that really makes it dear to me. 

Also, it can’t be stated enough that Sono is so so so so so (etc) good at drawing muscular women. 

On a completely unrelated note, there’s a side story about Koga and Sawada playing sports together. This includes judo. I am saying this for no reason.

Where To Get It: The English translation of the manga is released in chapters by Lilyka Manga.

Sexiled: My Sexist Party Leader Kicked Me Out, So I Teamed Up With a Mythical Sorceress!

What It Is: A two volume light novel series by Ameko Kaeruda, illustrated by Kazutomo Miya. Possibly complete.

What It’s About: Tanya Artemiciov is an absurdly talented Mage. So why the hell was she kicked out of her adventuring party? Her leader and former friend sums it up in four words: “You’re a woman, Tanya.” In a fit of rage, Tanya channels her anger into a “venting” session that involves swearing her head of and casting a volley of Explosion spells into the wasteland… and accidentally releases a legendary sorceress! Luckily, Laplace is actually quite nice, and just as powerful as the legends say, so the two decide to team up so Tanya can have her revenge!

What I Think: So, this is a silly one, but after a couple of darker entries I think it’s a good palate cleanser. Sexiled is a loud, not-even-remotely subtle, unabashedly feminist take on the “power fantasy” light novel, especially the “revenge fantasy” subgenre-- and even if that sounds awesome on paper to you (ex. me), it will probably feel over-the-top at times to you (ex. me). But in a way, that’s actually kind of its charm. 

I like that Kaeruda utterly refuses to let up on what she wants to tell you, especially because the story was inspired by a real case in Japan. One may be tempted to think “this story is ridiculous, no one would ever be this cartoonishly sexist!” and then you read a news article about how in a famous Japanese medical university was found rigging the test scores of women, and you realize, “oh, people are still this cartoonishly sexist.” So I’m fine with Kaeruda letting it all out in this story. At the same time, I think Sexiled is best when it’s focused not on Tanya’s revenge but on her kindness, and the way her compassion, her strength, and yes, her anger inspires the women and girls around her. 

Sexiled is a fun and often very funny romp about assholes getting theirs, with some surprisingly deep and nuanced moments hiding in a very unsubtle story.

Where To Get It: The light novels are published by J-Novel Club and can be found via various digital platforms and bookstores.

BONUS: Other titles with sci-fi/fantasy/action elements that may interest you!

The Blank Of Describer: A one-shot manga by kkzt about a pair of two dream-builders. They’ve taken all kinds of commissions in the past, but one job they recieve throws them for a loop: a request for a shinigami that can predict and report death. And then comes the kicker: the customer asks the two of them to give it features that the both of them “adore the most…” (Published in English by Lilyka Manga)

A Lily Blooms In Another World: A light novel by Ameko Kaeruda (illustrated by Shio Sakura), author of Sexiled, about Miyako, a Japanese wage slave reincarnated into another world based on her favorite otome game. However, she’s not interested in her would-be love interest, but in Fuuka Hamilton-- the game’s villainess! After Miyako confesses her love, Fuuka decides to give her a challenge: if Miyako can make her say the words “I’m happy” in fourteen days, she’ll stay by her side! (Published in English through J-Novel Club, available on various platforms)

Superwomen In Love: An ongoing manga by sometime about the sentai villainess Honey Trap and her infatuation with the masked superheroine Rapid Rabbit. After being kicked out of her evil organization, Honey Trap decides to team up with her former nemesis to fight evil-- and hopefully, find romance! (To be published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, coming in April 2021)

2. “Yuri is all stories about teenagers! Where’s the stuff about adults?”

Take a look at the previous section: there’s the stuff about adults! Otherside Picnic, Goodbye My Rose Garden, Seabed, SHWD, Sexiled, The Blank of Describer, A Lily Blooms In Another World, and Superwomen In Love are all stories with adult-aged protagonists! But if you’re searching for a more down-to-earth romance, I’m happy to report there’s quite a bit of options to look into!

Still Sick

What It Is: A manga by Akashi. Three volumes, complete.

What It’s About: Makoto Shimizu is an office lady with a secret: she’s a yuri fan who draws doujinshi. She’s able to keep her two lives separate, all until the day she comes face-to-face with her co-worker at a convention! To Makoto’s horror, Akane Maekawa is amused by her nerdy secret, but Akane may have some secrets of her own...

What I Think: This one was a roller coaster for me: I loved the premise of the manga, but wasn’t sure about the dynamic between the leads… that is, until near the end of the first volume, where something happened and everything changed. Without giving too much away, I implore people to give Still Sick a chance-- it has a much deeper story than one might initially guess, as well as an interesting character dynamic between the two leads with some surprising turns.

Where To Get It: The first two volumes of Still Sick are published in English by Tokyopop, with the final one coming soon All three volumes have been published in English by Tokyopop.

After Hours

What It Is: A manga by Yuhta Nishio. Three volumes, complete.

What It’s About: After being ditched by her friend at a club, Emi Ashiana is ready to write the whole night off. All that changes when she meets Kei, a DJ who seems to be everything Emi is not-- cool, confident… employed.... But Kei and Emi hit it off and Emi’s life changes as Kei draws her into the world of Japan’s club scene!

What I Think: It’s hard to explain exactly why I like this manga, but I reeeeally like this manga. 

There’s just something about the sleek art, the amazing atmosphere of the scenes set in nightclubs, the chemistry between Emi and Kei, the focus on more mature topics.... it’s a manga that’s remarkably magnetic for how down-to-earth it is. It’s also just interesting to read stories about subcultures that don’t normally get a spotlight in comics. To sum it up, After Hours is just a lovely manga that’s severely underrated that’s perfect for someone who’s looking for a story that’s both fun and mature.

Where To Get It: All three volumes are published in English by Viz Media.

How Do We Relationship?

What It Is: A manga by Tamifull. Ongoing, five volumes at time of writing.

What It’s About: Miwa and Saeko’s first meeting is… interesting. But despite that, and despite their clashing personalities, the two of them become fast friends. Well… actually, perhaps more than friends. You see, pretty soon the two of them learn that the other is into women. With that in mind, Saeko suggests they try dating each other-- might as well, right? “Might as well” seems like a strange place to begin a relationship, but perhaps even something like that could end in true love?

What I Think: “Why do romances always end when they decide to start dating?!” That’s the question Tamifull poses in the afterword of Volume 1. And it’s a great question! What makes How Do We Relationship? an interesting manga is how oddly realistic it is, highlighting things like the compromises people make in relationships, people who get into relationships for pragmatic reasons rather than love, the whole “thing” about sex… as well as highlighting the additional issues queer people have to deal with. That may sound like a heavy story, but it’s actually quite light-hearted, as well as very, very funny at times. With a cute art style and surprisingly deep premise, HDWR is a great manga for older yuri fans who are craving a more mature story.

Where To Get It: The first volume has been published in English by Viz Media, with more on the way.

BONUS: Other titles with adult protagonists that may interest you!

Even Though We’re Adults: A manga by Takako Shimura about two women in their thirties. Ayano and Akari meet each other in a bar and almost immediately feel a sense of chemistry between them. There’s just one problem: Ayano is married to someone else. (To be published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, coming in January 2021)

Doughnuts Under A Crescent Moon: A manga by Shio Usui. Uno Hinako wants nothing more than to be seen as a normal young woman, but she just can’t seem to make a “normal” romance work. But maybe Sato Asahi, a woman who works at the same company as her, can show her a new kind of normal? (To be published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, coming in February 2021)

Our Teachers Are Dating: A manga by Pikachi Ohi. Hayama Asuka is a gym teacher, Terano Saki is a biology teacher. One day, they come into work both looking suspiciously happy… because they’ve started dating! (Published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment)

I Married My Best Friend To Shut My Parents Up: A one-volume manga by Kodama Naoko. Morimoto is sick and tired about constantly being badgered about finding a man to marry, so her kouhai from her high school days offers a solution: marry each other to make her parents back off! (Published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment)

Now Loading…!: A one-volume manga by Mikan Uji. Takagi has just snagged her dream job at a games publisher, but being put in charge of a mobile game that’s barely pulling in any attention isn’t exactly what she was hoping for. What’s worse, she’s drawn the attention of her strict higher-up Sakurazuki Kaori… who also happened to design her most favorite game of all time?! (Published in English through Seven Seas Entertainment)

3.  “Yuri is all schoolgirl stuff! Where’s- wait, didn’t we already do this one?”

Yes we did. And you know what? I’m making a stand! There’s a lot of really, really good yuri stories set in high schools, and I think more people need to give them a chance! Here are some high school titles that I think are worth a second look for one reason or another!

Bloom Into You

What It Is: A manga by Nakatani Nio. Eight volumes, complete. A twelve episode anime aired in 2018, covering about the first half of the series. A three volume spinoff light novel series written by Hitoma Iruma was also published.

What It’s About: Yuu Koito has long dreamed of the day she’d find That One, Storybook Romance that would make her feel like she was walking on air, but the day that a boy confesses to her, her feet remain firmly planted on the ground. When she meets Touko Nanami, a girl who seems to have the same strange, distant relationship to romance as she does, Yuu feels like she has found a comrade. But what will happen when the next person to confess to Yuu… is Touko?

What I Think: What can I say about Bloom Into You that hasn’t already been said? There’s a reason it’s basically considered a staple of yuri despite being only five years old. The art is beautiful and delicate, the story has a deft mastery of comedy, drama, and romance, and the characters are deeply loveable. Really, the only reason this one is here is to tell you to get to reading this manga (or watching the anime) if you haven’t already. So get to it!

Where To Get It: The entire series-- as well as the spinoff light novel series Regarding Saeki Sayaka-- has been published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment. The anime is currently streaming on HiDive.

Yuri Is My Job

What It Is: A manga by Miman. Ongoing, seven volumes at time of writing.

What It’s About: Hime wants nothing more than to be adored by everyone and to someday bag a rich husband. Of course, being loved by all takes a lot of work, and she prides herself in keeping her perfect, adorable facade so well-maintained. But of course, the one time she slips up, she ends up injuring the manager of a local cafe! Hime finds herself strong-armed into working for this cafe under their star employee, a kind, graceful girl named Mitsuki. But things aren’t quite so simple-- you see, this cafe has a gimmick in which all the employees are constantly acting out yuri-inspired scenes for the customers, so in a way, the employees also have their own facades. And under her facade, Mitsuki… hates Hime’s guts!

What I Think: Yuri Is My Job is an odd duck, but in a good way. It’s advertised and initially framed as a comedy, but it becomes a surprisingly thoughtful drama about the personas people adopt and why they do so (though, luckily, the comedy never truly goes away). There’s an interesting web of relationships between the girls, and having those interactions take place in a setting where they must act out a completely different sort of drama adds an extra level of drama and intrigue. The cute, polished artwork is just the icing on the cake. YIMJ is a good manga for those who are already familiar with yuri tropes and those who are interested in a drama that doesn’t get too heavy.

Where To Get It: Six volumes have been published in English by Kodansha comics, with the seventh on the way.

Riddle Story of Devil

What It Is: A manga written by Yun Kouga and illustrated by Sunao Minakata. Five volumes, complete. A 12 episode anime aired in 2014.

What It’s About: At Myojo Private School, an elite all-girl’s academy, Class Black has a secret. Twelve of the thirteen girls are actually assassins who have been offered a dark deal-- one wish will be granted to whoever manages to kill Haru Ichinose, the thirteenth student. But there’s still hope for Haru in the form of Tokaku Azuma, one of the assassins who has decided to defect to Haru’s side-- and defend her from the other girls at any cost.

What I Think: I’m not sure… if I can say Riddle Story of Devil is “good.” It’s definitely something. Although its premise is vaguely similar to Revolutionary Girl Utena, its tone and atmosphere remind me a lot more of the Dangan Ronpa series. It’s schlocky and ridiculous and often over-the-top and at times exploitative. It’s pure junk food, basically… and I believe that’s where the charm comes from. It’s my guiltiest of guilty pleasures. It may not exactly be good, but more often than not, it’s fun. It’s hard not to be immediately interested in a yuri battle series, you have to admit. 

And if it does have one undeniably good element, it’s Tokaku and Haru’s relationship. They contrast each other nicely, and while one might expect Haru to be boring and helpless, she’s actually quite proactive at times, and some of the most interesting, engaging parts of the series come from seeing how the two work together to fend off the latest assassin. It’s a short read and if anything, it’s worth it to see how each girl ends up. I recommend it for older viewers who are okay with violence and ludicrous battle scenarios.

Where To Get It: All five volumes are available through Seven Seas Entertainment. The anime can be watched through Funimation.*

*Please don’t watch the anime.**

** At the very least, please don’t watch the anime unless you’ve read the entire manga. Riddle Story Of Devil was one of those unfortunate cases where the anime adaption was produced before the manga reached its conclusion, and as such it has a very strange, rushed ending that includes none of what I enjoyed about the actual ending. Several scenes were also changed, and if I recall correctly, fanservice was added in several places where there was none previously. All in all, I’d really only recommend it for big fans of the series.

Side By Side Dreamers

What It Is: A light novel by Iori Miyazawa, illustrated by Akane Malbeni. One volume, complete.

What It’s About: Saya Hokage has been suffering from insomnia, but one day finds relief in the form of Hitsuji Konparu, a strange girl who can put people to sleep. As it turns out, Hitsuji is a person who has the special ability to move freely in their dreams, known as a “Sleepwalker.” The Sleepwalkers have been battling beings that possess people through their dreams, and it turns out they want Saya to join them in the fight.

What I Think: Side By Side Dreamers is short and… well, dreamy. I really enjoyed the premise and I think it’s a good novel for people who think Otherside Picnic may be a little too much for them. I also enjoyed each dream sequence-- I tend to find that the writing in light novels is a little dry, so the use of figurative language to describe these scenes was really refreshing and interesting. SBSD is a fun oneshot that I think is especially ideal for newcomers to yuri.

Where To Get It: Side-by-Side Dreamers is published by J-Novel Club and can be found via various digital platforms and bookstores.

Cocoon Entwined

What It Is: A manga by Yuriko Hara. Three volumes, ongoing.

What It’s About: Hoshimiya Girls' Academy is a strange, almost otherworldly paradise with a peculiar tradition. For all three years, each girl grows out her hair to absurd, breathtaking lengths, in order for it to eventually be cut and weaved into uniforms for future students. Perhaps it is these strange uniforms that seem to whisper about the past that makes the school seem frozen in another time… picturesque, yet stagnant. But one day, a shocking incident shatters the quiet peace of the academy, and the tumultuous feelings that have long been hidden in the hearts of these girls come rushing into the light.

What I Think: Cocoon Entwined is, in a word, eerie. It’s not marketed as a horror story, and I don’t think it’s intended to be one, but I’ve seen some that say they get horror vibes from it. I definitely understand that-- there’s a deep sense of unease that permeates the entire story in a way that’s a bit hard to articulate. The running thread of uniforms made from human hair definitely doesn’t hurt (it does-- I’ve seen many people understandably turned off by this element), but it’s more than that. It’s the sense that everything at Hoshimiya feels frozen and fragile. It’s the sense that everyone is burying their true feelings under countless layers. It’s the fact that in one scene, Saeki reaches out in a dark room full of uniforms and feels her arm touched by countless hands made of hair. 

Cocoon Entwined is a strange manga, and I feel it’s not for everyone-- besides the way many are put off by the central premise, the way that the story jumps around in time can be a bit confusing to follow. But in my opinion, I love it for these elements: the uniforms and their marriage between beauty and grotesque, the sense of frozen time, the delicate artwork that feels like it might be shattered by the weight of your gaze, the strange, airless atmosphere, the girls and their clear exhaustion of having to be ideal women. It’s a strange little series that I think should be given a shot, particularly if you want something a little more out there, or a darker take on Class S tropes.

Where To Get It: Yen Press has currently published two volumes in English.

BONUS: Other high school titles that may interest you!

A Tropical Fish Yearns For Snow: A manga by Makoto Hagino. Konatsu Amano has just moved to a new town by the sea, and must deal with her new school’s mandatory club policy. Luckily, she meets Koyuki Honami, an older girl who runs the Aquarium Club. Recognizing her loneliness, Konatsu decides to join her club. (Published  in English by Viz Media)

Flowers: A four-part series of visual novels published by Innocent Grey. Flowers focuses on Saint Angraecum Academy, a private high school that prides itself on overseeing the growth of proper young ladies. One notable thing about the academy is the Amitié program, a system that pairs students together in order to foster friendships between the girls. But friendship isn’t the only thing blooming… (Available in English from Steam, J-List, and JAST USA)

Adachi And Shimamura: A series of light novels written by Hitoma Iruma and illustrated by Non that has recently received a manga adaptation and an anime adaption. Adachi and Shimamura are two girls who encounter each other one day while cutting class. Little by little, the two girls become a part of each other’s lives, and feelings begin to form. (The light novels are published in English by Seven Seas Entertainment, the anime is licensed by Funimation)

And there we go! 24 different yuri titles. I didn’t even go into the series that I tried but personally didn’t like that still might interest other people. I primarily made this list to gush about yuri that I liked, but I also tried to include a fairly wide range of things so that, hopefully, any random person who read this whole list could find at least one new title that interests them. And I hope that includes you!

The yuri scene is quite large and wonderful if you know where to look, and it too often gets a bad rap. I hope that this list could give you a new perspective on what kinds of titles are available, and I hope it gives you something new to try. And remember: if you want something specific, try looking for it! There’s a good chance the story you’re craving is already out there, waiting to be discovered!

[scatterpatter]

"Where's the essay OP" Said no one, and yet here I am

Lampy isn't stupid, he's neruodivergent: a rushed-together masterpost

Disclaimer: I'm not a liscened medical professional but I'm neurodivergent who's close to many neurodivergent people so I know when certain traits strike me as very familiar... Also tblt is my comfort movie I've seen it probably over 100 times, not exaggerating, so if anyone here's an expert on it, it's me.

I'm only going by the first movie because while To The Rescue and Goes To Mars probably have evidence to back me up, I don't feel like sitting down to watch them as I don't have them as memorized as the original

Point #1: Lampy is arguably the most intelligent appliance in the movie

Honestly it apalls me that so many are convinced that Lampy is an idiot when he displays some of the most intelligent traits in the movie. I'll just list off some of the most important scenes that show this

1: When discussing a way to get to the city, Lampy comes up with plans that end up failing, true. But we should also consider that not only did Radio and Toaster come up with bad plans before deciding on the swivel chair, but 2/3 of Lampy's ideas involved the same mechanic: on something with wheels(yes the mattress had wheels for some reason) being powered by Kirby

2: "From here you can see the really big lamp!" This scene is simply due to the appliances being sheltered from the outside world. Lampy displays the same level of naive-ness as everyone else: Radio seems earnest in calling the sun a "really big lamp", and Kirby calls the grass "shag carpet". Lampy is not at a lower intelligence in this scene, he's exactly at the same level as everyone else

3: The scene with the storm really sells his intelligence. The appliances have a rudimentary understanding of electricity, most likely from being appliances, but Lampy displays an excelled level of understanding by sacrificing himself for the battery. He understands that batteries are powered by electricity, lightning is electricity, and by using himself as a lightning rod, he acts as the conductive metal to easily transfer this energy from the bolt to the battery. Technically this should have overcharged and fried the battery but we'll suspend disbelief for the sake of this movie.

4: He knew that stacking the appliances to roughly human height, creating a dark environment with ominous sounds, and putting Toaster at eye-level to scare the human with his own reflection... Again, this is an intelligent understanding of how to scare a human

5: It's unclear on whose idea it was to look up Rob in a phone book, however this shows that not only can Lampy read(most likely picked up from being Rob's reading light), ESPECIALLY when Toaster struggles to read, but also has an understanding of phone books, addresses, and finding humans based on family names. I cannot stress how intelligent this is for a sentient desk lamp

There's a few more minor examples, but these are the biggest cases. Lampy is intelligent.

Point #2: Lampy struggles with social cues and doesn't empathize as easily as others

My biggest point here is when people think neruodivergents are "dumb" for having trouble picking up on things like sarcasm when that just... isn't the case. A few notable examples include:

1: When Air Conditioner says "You're a real bright little lamp", Lampy doesn't pick up the sarcasm and thinks he's being complimented. Though he definitely shows a level of emotional intelligence because he looks to Toaster to confirm "hey I was complimented", sees they're still looking angry, and gets the hint that he was insulted without someone needing to explicitly tell him that, to which he then responds with "Heyyy >:("

2: Sometimes he's able to read the room and pick up on tones, but other times he shows a level of emotional density. Legitimately not knowing if Rob had returned even when seeing Blanky disappointed to the point of near tears... But then knowing "brains wouldnt hurt either" was a jab at their intelligence and reacting with appropriate annoyance... But also when Radio says "Things could be worse!", doesn't realize he's just saying that to make Toaster feel better and asks "How could they be worse?"

3: He bullies Blanky alongside Radio and the others, unclear if he's actually being a jerk or just "oh this is what everyone else is doing so this is the normal way to act", but he's legitimately confused when Toaster tries to explain why they're suddenly being nice to him. He doesn't get the "now I feel better" argument because his argument was "Well you were never this nice to him before". Even when Toaster tries to explain why it feels nice, it just doesn't click... until Toaster finds a way to explain that connects personally to Lampy's own emotional state. He has trouble empathizing until realizing "oh this is like this thing that I feel sometimes"

4: Something I've noticed when gathering evidence is that more than once, Lampy goes "Wow..." After someone gloats about themself(Twice with Radio, once with the Computer). It's clear by the third time, when Radio goes "What does that mean?" And Lampy responds "I don't know. [To Computer] What does that mean?" That he doesn't even know what's being gloated about, let alone why he should be impressed. He has the emotional intelligence to recognize when someone's gloating and the "appropriate" response of amazement, but it seems like it never comes from a place of earnest. (While Neurotypicals can and do engage in "performative" behavior, I tend to notice this way more commonly with neurodivergents)

Also the "wow..." Performative thing is VERY reminiscent of Peridot from Steven Universe(a characters who many autistic fans see themselves in and the creator herself saying she doesn't consider Peridot or any of the gems to be neurotypical) going "wow thanks" as her default "this is how I've been taught to show gratitude" response

Point #3: Miscellaneous traits that could be neurodivergent

These traits COULD be interpreted as neurodivergent, but I will admit they could also be interpreted as something else so like take these with a grain of salt

1: Lampy appears to have sensory needs. When sleeping, he needs to tap a rock a few times(presumably to make sure it's "right") before clonking his head on it. It's interesting because rocks aren't a very "lamp" thing whatsoever, and none of the other appliances look for pillow-ish objects to rest on, so this could be a sensory thing.

2: Lampy has an interesting vocal quirk: repetition of phrases at the beginning and end of a sentence. Instances include "How exactly do you propose we do that, exactly?" "All of a sudden you're being so darn nice to him all of a sudden" "The fact is there's just not enough facts" The third one is a bit of a stretch but the first two seem to indicate a possible pattern of speech. Part of me wants to say this could be a verbal tic or some type of verbal stimming, but I've never met anyone who has a tic or stim like this so I can't say it's a neurodivergent thing with confidence, but I wanted to mention this quirk regardless.

3: Physically saying how he feels. Two instances where multiple characters are laughing, Lampy speaks while laughing "That's funny - I'm dying!" "I'm aching with joy!". It's just interesting that no one else speaks while laughing and for whatever reason, Lampy needs to verbalize "Yes I find this very funny" as if simply laughing along isn't enough. I've seen somewhat similar stuff in neurodivergents who have issues expressing emotions implicitly so they state them explicitly instead.

4: I've noticed Lampy isn't touchy... except with Radio. Some neurodivergent people can have issues with physical contact, which could explain that. But I've also noticed that Radio also gives me huge neurodivergent vibes... But more importantly Radio is extremely touchy with everyone, Lampy included, hence them often getting into physical fights but also just- tapping them or wrapping a cord around the other and pulling him close(they're so in love but that's a post on its own). A possible explanation is Lampy having issues with touching others, but either feels comfortable being touchy with Radio(due to emotional bonds and trust) or simply recognizes "Radio likes being touchy so I should be touchy back". A stretch of an argument, I'll admit, but I think the interpretation is there and valid.

In conclusion

I mean idk if Lampy was written to be neurodivergent or if the writers just wanted him to be "quirky" and accidentally gave him a lot of neurodivergent traits, but he reads as very neurodivergent to me(probably autistic or adhd but I'm not a professional and can't diagnose him). But while I can chalk up neruodivergency being one of many possible interpretations of his character, I WILL argue that he's not "stupid" given the evidence we see throughout the movie

Tl;Dr: Lampy is evidently intelligent, but sometimes struggles with social cues, empathy, and overall shows numerous traits of neurodivergency

[nicoleslittleholeinthewall]

~Untitled~

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Topic: Stay Kids

Paring: Chan x Reader

Warning: Angst (that's about it.)

WC: 713

A|N: I had written this the year Stray Kids debut but my writing then was completely horrendous. So I decided to rewrite it to my best capability. So enjoy :)

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Y/N POV

The sound of glass shattering and running water fills the air. I swallow the lump in my throat. Blinking the tears away with my back facing him. Repeating the same phrase over and over. Don’t let him see you cry. He doesn’t deserve it. Trying to catch my breath.

“Y/N…” he musters out.

“Yes, Chan?” Turning around, nodding my head for him to continue.

“Take a seat, please?” I sigh walking towards our kitchen table.

“Ok, Y/N. I want you to understand that I never meant for this to happen,” breathing in sharply, “I realize my feelings for you aren’t the same when we started dating. I just want you to know that I never intended to hurt you. I couldn’t lie to myself or you anymore. I’m sorry.”

My breath gets stuck in my lungs. My ears are ringing from the ominous silence that held us in a blanket. Burning takes over my senses. Finally, the tears overflow down my cheeks. All I could do was nod sadly. Letting my heart shatter loudly in our one bedroom apartment.

“Please, say something?” he begs for me.

“What do you want me to say?” My voice breaks.

“Anything. How do you feel?” A fire lights within me.

“Who is it?” His eyes shoot wide open.

“W-wbat do you mean? I hav-” I cut him off.

“You've been coming home late the last three weeks, you know?,” I sigh, “I know of Sana. I’m not dumb, Chris. We both work in the same studio. I hear her talk about this amazing guy named ‘chan’ and that he has been taking her on lunch dates. Also how he’s been helping her in the dance studio…”

Chan gets up from the table and sits in the chair next to me. He tenderly grasps my hands. His thumb slowly caresses the back of my hand. He was slowly pulling me into him. Like he wanted me to melt into him so he could stop the pain.. Like he needs to make sure I don't break. I pull away from him.

“Am I not enough?” I whisper out.

“Y/N, you are enough but…I’ve moved on. You’ve been working so much. Not to mention we both just signed to labels,” he ruffled his hair, “I just don’t think we would work right now.”

“But you could work with Sana? We could work this out. If you wanted to see me more we could have made this work. I do it all the time with you. Or did you get tired of that too?” anger was visible in my voice as well as my eyes.

“Y/N…I didn’t want you to begin to hurt the way that Eric had. I didn’t want to be the trigger for you to shut yourself away. You were like that when we first met and I showed you how you should be loved and cherished. I never meant for this to happen/ ”

“Trigger me? Really, Chan? I was in a bad place because of what he put me through. I was healing when I met you. I let you in when I knew I wasn't ready. I let you love me when I couldn't even bear to look at myself.” Tears are free flowing down.

“ And you never what? Think I would fall for you? What did you think I was going to do? Not fall in love with someone that held me when I cried? Or would stay up with me baking for days on end? Or with someone who would slow dance with me to our favorite songs?”

“Y/N I never thought I would fall out of love with you. You believed in my music career when not one; not even myself, did. You were my sun on my darkest days. You gave a reason to smile. You made me the person I am today…I really do care about you.”

“You don’t. Not anymore,” squeezing my eyes shut, “ Just leave, Chris. I want you out.”

I walked back into the kitchen and continued to wash the dishes. His gaze lingers before he picks up his bag and walks towards the door.

“I love you, Y/N.”

The door shuts quietly.

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did you like it?

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[yandere-daydreams]

Bnha yandere shoto with darling that's has autophobia ( fear of being alone, unloved, unwanted, ect...)? They don't care that they been kidnapped just please don't leave them alone.

It’s nice to get back to writing with a Darling that’s just as needy as their Yandere, or… almost as needy, at least. Shoto makes for steep competition, even if he seems apathetic, more often than not.

Title: Monophobia.

TW: Emotional Abuse, Kidnapping, Stockholm Syndrome, and Mentions of Injury.

~

“I thought I told you not to wait for me.”

He hadn’t, technically. Shoto had told you to keep yourself occupied while he was gone, to cook and clean and do whatever passed the most time, to stop locking yourself in your closet whenever you heard footsteps from outside his apartment, but he’d never specifically told you not to wait, or, not sit by the front door and hug your knees to your chest, your back pressed against the threshold and your mind preoccupied with every villain Shoto had ever fought, everyone that could have a vendetta against him or a price on his head or a death-wish prevalent enough to purposefully take on one of the top heroes and knew where to find him. And, as your thoughts wandered, everyone who knew where to find you.

Everyone who might want to do something unadmirable with that special piece of information.

You couldn’t tell Shoto that, though. Instead, you swallowed your dread, trying to focus on the image in front of you. On the front door, locked and secured, and your loving, capable boyfriend - the man who’d promised to never let anything or anyone hurt you and who’d sooner chew off his own hands than lay a finger on you. The man you trusted. The man you had to trust. “I was worried,” You explained, your eyes flickering noncommittally from your knees to the living room, where Shoto was still struggling off his jacket, a wallet and a facemask already thrown to the side. “You were late. I couldn’t call you, and I was… I was worried. How would you feel if I didn’t come home?”

At that, he frowned, but you’d been around him long enough to tell he was more upset by the fact that you’d asked than the thought of you being an hour or two behind schedule. No, if you’d walked through that door without a call or an apology or plea for his forgiveness, he wouldn’t have been displeased or concerned or disappointed, he would’ve been furious. He’d always been furious. He was still furious, sometimes, when you forgot about one of the terms of your new relationship. 

He turned towards you, but he didn’t step forward. No, you’d have to close the distance yourself, if you wanted him to put in that kind of effort. “There are emergencies. Things come up and I’m the one who has to find a way to fix them.” It was a hypothetical excuse. There could’ve been an emergency, but he wasn’t saying there was. You doubted you’d get a straight answer out of him, not when he was feeling so aloof. “Do you have a problem with that?”

You did. You were left alone, and he was the one to blame. He’d abandon you, leaving you defenseless and exposed with only your own weak quirk and four thin walls to protect yourself, and if something happened, your blood would be on his hands. It was an irrational fear, fueled by implausible scenarios and the knowledge that you had so many enemies and so few allies, but your paranoia clung to the idea like a security blanket, like a lifeline. Like it was the only thing you needed, more precious than food or water or freedom could ever be.

But, you couldn’t say that. You couldn’t make your mouth form the words, even if you wanted to. Instead, you glared at Shoto. “You promised to take me to your agency, today. You said you wouldn’t leave without me.”

“It’s too risky,” He replied, automatically, stepping towards you. His scowl softened ever so slightly. That, or you were just being hopeful. “Sweetheart, if someone recognizes you, I’ll get into a lot of trouble. You know that. You’ll be taken away from me. Is that what you want?”

He was trying to guilt you into submission. That was always his first tactic, when you were being stubborn. You pursed your lips, telling yourself his anxieties were just as unreasonable as your own. “You promised. You told me that is I behaved, you’d--”

“I told you I’d take care of you.” Another step, another injection of artificial sympathy into his veins. The way he spoke was forceful, but it was compassionate, too, brimming with the manufactured tenderness he constantly saw fit to gift you with. “That comes first, your safety always comes first. I’m not going to hurt you, but I don’t know about everyone out there. I can’t be sure about them, I can’t trust them. You’re smart, (Y/n), you can see why. You know how dangerous the world can be, if I let it get to you.”

You pulled your legs into your chest, but you refused to give him what he wanted. The slightest hint of something vague and ominous wouldn’t make you surrender, not when you weren’t the one in the wrong. “Still,” You persisted, taking on enough venom to balance out his sweetness. “You can’t just lie to me, Todoroki, it’s not fair. I can’t stay shut up inside this apartment for the rest of my life, and you can’t act like I can--”

“It’s like you want to get hurt.” If he was annoyed before, he was frustrated now, the words spat through grit teeth, his hands curling into fists at his sides. For a moment, his anger was visible, vivid, but with a deep breath and a slow blink, he kneeled in front of you, regaining his composure with a practiced display. He didn’t touch you, but you wished he would. You wanted comfort, you wanted reassurance, but Shoto rarely cared about what you wanted. “So many things could go wrong, too many things. What if I have to leave you alone? What if I get called out for something only I can handle or lose track of you? What happens when you get lost or panic or try to run, and someone sees a vulnerable, scared civilian that doesn’t know better than to trust the first person who offers them help? What if I’m not there and some awful, manipulative villain comes after you just because they want to get to me? What if you get hurt because I’m not there to save you?”

You knew what he was doing. If anyone knew how much you needed Shoto, it was him, and he was using your own dread, your own fear, your own dependency against you, and he was doing it with a gentle tone and a kind expression and the type of distant, selfless, protective phrases he knew you wanted to hear. He was being cruel. He was cruel, and you knew that. You could see that. You weren’t naive enough to believe he was actually doing this for you.

And yet, you wanted to. More than you’d ever wanted anything else.

You opened your mouth, but nothing came out, any denial on your tongue replaced with a breathy, raspy sob, half choked and utterly desperate, as pitiful as it was pathetic. You didn’t bother wiping away the tears beginning to flow over your cheeks, only shutting your eyes and reaching out with both arms, blindly finding Shoto’s shoulders and pulling him close, as close as he could be. With only the slightest hesitation, Shoto gave in, drawing you into his chest and lifting you out of the doorway, letting you wrap yourself around him so tightly, you could convince yourself you’d never have to let go. That he’d never let go. That he couldn’t let go, because he loved you and needed you and wanted you, as badly as you wanted him.

So badly, you could almost ignore the small, careless smile pressing into your neck as Shoto cooed soft nothings, playing the role of caretaker so well, both of you almost believed it.

Almost.

[therealvalkyrie]

Painter’s Hands and Guatemalan Coffee: Part 2

insomniac

Pairing/setting: Levi Ackerman x Female!Reader, modern!college!AU

Summary: When you catch your idiot boyfriend cheating, your grumpy roommate is there to pick up the pieces and watch your back as you toe a carefully drawn line in the metaphorical sand.  

Word Count: 2.5k

Warnings: insomnia, nightmares, (remembering) death, panic attack, cuddling, fluff

AN: Here she is!! I’ve decided to give oc a little ~tragic backstory~ and I really hope it comes across like I’ve intended. I wouldn’t go so far as to call in angst, necessarily, but there’ll definitely be some in the future. Also, I know I’ve painted Annie and Reiner in a really bad light so far in this particular fic, but please know that’s not how I view them in canon at all - it’s simply because someone had to be the bad guy:( Anyways, I hope y’all enjoy and as always don’t hesitate to reach out via reblog/ask with any suggestions/feedback/questions!! ~valkyrie

(read Part 1.5 here)

Bodies jostle against you in the darkness to the beat of music you can’t hear.  The buzzing gets louder, drowning out even your own screams for them to stop.

Stop. Stop. STOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOPSTOP!

“STOP IT!” You can hear yourself this time, your voice embarrassingly loud in the cramped room. You slap hands over your mouth but everyone’s already turned to look at you, disgusted at the display of emotion. Even they peel their faces apart to sneer down their noses.

“Why should we?” Annie’s voice rings with superiority, swirling around the space and nestling in the crook of your neck. You shudder away, but the faceless bodies shove you back.

“Don’t you know this is your fault, anyway? You weren’t enough for me.” Reiner jeers with a satisfied smirk. The whole room laughs, cackling and giggling spitefully. You can’t move, muscles frozen, as they turn back to each other and continue making out. His hand in her hair, her thigh hooked over his hip, obscenely wet noises from their joined mouths.

You scream and scream and scream, jaw wide and aching, and all of a sudden the scene shifts and you’re at your mother’s bedside. Your breath hitches and you’re screaming in a child’s voice this time.

“Mommy, Mommy, no, please, no, MOMMY, PLEASE--”

Your hand twitches towards her and its movement against soft sheets brings you back to consciousness.

You’re spread-eagled in bed, comforter kicked almost completely off, chest heaving.

“One. Two. Three. Four…” you count in a hoarse whisper to yourself, staring out the window at gently falling snow illuminated in yellow streetlights. It takes you to one hundred and twenty-seven before you’re calm enough to do anything productive. 

You reach out a blind hand to find your phone on the nightstand and raise it up to check the time. 4:47 am. Nearly three hours of sleep.

Eh, good enough for jazz.

You heave a sigh, then push up to sit on the edge of your bed and flick on the lamp. The sudden bright light makes you squint against sharp pain behind your eyes and turn away in search of a sweatshirt. Some sifting through the ever-growing pile of laundry later, you settle on a green university hoodie and pull it on over your ratty tank top. Your toes and fingers always feel like icicles after waking up from a nightmare, so you find faux fur-lined slippers as well.

As you push past your bedroom door and into the living room, a figure in the comfy armchair catches the corner of your eye.

You nearly jump out of your skin before recognizing who it is. “Christ on a cracker, Levi! Nearly scared me half to death.”

“Sorry.” He doesn’t sound sorry as he marks the page in his book and sets it on the coffee table.

“What are you doing up?”

“I could ask you the same.”

“Well that’s not ominous or anything,” you mutter with an eye roll as you cross to the kitchen and set the kettle to boil for coffee.

Levi sighs and pinches the bridge of his elegant nose.

“Sorry. That’s not what I meant. It’s just… I noticed you haven’t been sleeping much lately and I’m worried.” He crosses to sit at the kitchen table and speaks to your back as you shuffle around the kitchen.

“What do you mean? Of course I’ve been sleeping. Whaddaya think I was just doing?”

“It’s five am, and you were still up when I went to sleep at twelve. Optimistically, that’s four hours of sleep. And yesterday you went to bed after one, but Hange said you were texting her at five-thirty, and--”

“Jeez, what, have you been stalking me or something?” you ask with an incredulous glance over your shoulder.

“We live together. It’s kind of hard not to notice.” Levi’s tone is the usual dry you’ve come to expect, but there’s an undercurrent that you’re too exhausted to pinpoint. “And Hange also told me she’s been worried.”

“What is this, an intervention? Just because I break up with someone I’m suddenly incapable of functioning?” Your voice (and headache) rises with each phrase, cracking on the morning dryness in the air, and you spin to face him.

“I didn’t say that, I--”

“Am I just supposed to wallow in misery for the rest of my life? No. I’m not doing that, Levi, I’m moving on. I-- I’m a busy woman, I’ve got finals and, and internship applications, and I happen to enjoy waking up early. I like watching the sunrise.” Though your words are rushed and you’re gesturing animatedly, uncertainty seeps through the stuttered phrases in your argument.

Levi lets you finish, then returns in a measured voice: “Why are you so defensive about this? I know you’re busy. So am I. But I manage to get more than four hours of sleep at night. I just want to help.”

His statement hangs in the air like dust mites, swirling around you and clinging to the sticky after-effects of the nightmare in your mind. You frown and drop your eyes to the linoleum, guilt settling into the stickiness.

“I know. I’m sorry.” Your voice is much softer. “I just--” A deep sigh. “I can’t sleep.”

“Why?”

The simple question makes your breath stutter and you scrub a hand down your face in an effort to ground your skin into reality.

“It’s so stupid.” It’s practically a whisper. “I have these nightmares. About my mom. I got them when I was younger, too, but eventually they just sort of… stopped. But now they’re back. And I can’t ever get back to sleep after, so I just stopped bothering to try.”

“You know, sometimes I get nightmares, too.”

The admission catches you off guard, your eyes widening. Levi always seems so… steady and sure, you wouldn’t have expected it.

“Really?”

He nods. “About my mom and the foster homes.”

“Oh, I didn’t know you…” Your heart sinks, and you don’t know how to say you’re sorry for the heartbreak he must’ve lived through with any semblance of tact.

“Yeah. It’s not something I talk about much.”

“Right.” You pause and chew on your tongue thoughtfully for a moment. “Do you have...strategies for when you can’t sleep because of them?”

“I have sleeping pills from my psychiatrist and some meditation practices that work for me. I can send you some resources, if you’d like.”

“Yeah, I’d really appreciate that if it’s not a bother.” You feel kind of sheepish now, for raising your voice, and so try to sound extra thankful for his help.

“It’s not.” He stands up and stretches both arms over his head, tipping his face up to the sky, lean body arching and twisting with the effort of it.  “I’ll send them to you later today. I’m gonna go back to bed.”

“Okay. Thank you, Levi.”

He nods and yawns, nose scrunching adorably. “Night, kid.”

“Good night.”

As his bedroom door clicks shut, you sigh yet again and turn off the stove. The first thing to avoid is probably coffee.

--

Your fingers flick off last rivulets of water as you step out of the shower. A shiver rattles its way up your spine before you can grab a towel to dry off. Bless Levi, he had done laundry today and the towel is still dryer-warm, smelling of his favorite fabric softener.

As you go through your evening routine (tooth brushing, face washing, hair drying), you can feel a quiet tension set into your shoulders despite the humidity of the bathroom.

The day had gone okay. You managed to resist coffee until 8 am and cut yourself off at 3. A lecture and a studio in the morning left the afternoon for library studying and a trip to the grocery store. 

You had actually seen Bertholdt there, in the cereal aisle. You hadn’t been too keen on having that particular conversation, but luckily he hadn’t seemed to be either. The pair of you exchanged sympathetically awkward smiles before turning back to the Cheerios. 

The evening consisted of ordering chinese takeout while obsessing over your latest architecture design project, followed by convincing Hange over the phone not to sleep in the mouse lab for extra credit.

“But Bean will be lonely!” she insisted hysterically. “And Sonny wasn’t looking too hot in lab today, what if he needs his mommy and I’m not there?”

“You’re not their mommy,” you reminded her. “They have each other to keep them company, and if Sonny dies, won’t it support your hypothesis anyway?”

She had eventually acquiesced when you promised to help her plan a memorial should they pass in the night.

So now here you are, skin slowly drying, as you psych yourself up in the mirror to go to sleep.

“It won’t be bad. Just use the meditations Levi sent you.” You try to inject confidence into your voice, but you only end up grimacing at yourself in the mirror. “Ah, fuck it.”

You tuck your towel in firmly around your chest and double check to see your things are put away before going back to your room.

As you pass, you hesitate by Levi’s door for a moment. His normal studying music, Chopin, is on and light creeps out from underneath. Another moment of uncertainty, then you gently knock and poke your head in.

“Levi?” He raises his head from where he’s hunched over an easel, paint brush in hand. Brow furrowed and body tensed like a strung bow, he doesn’t look happy to be interrupted.

Fuck.

“I, uhm, just wanted to say good night.”

He grunts and turns back to the painting.

You take that as your cue to leave.

Back in the sanctuary of your own room, you curse again and kick your desk chair, sending it rolling a couple inches.

Why had you bothered him? To say good night?

“Stupid, stupid, UGH.” Your dramatic outburst ends in flopping face-first into bed. Just because he felt concerned enough to stage a fucking intervention doesn’t mean he’s your fucking nanny. Idiot.

Eventually, you roll over and get up to change into pajamas. 

Settling into bed, you open your newly downloaded meditation app and start an audio.

“As you prepare for your meditation practice today, find a comfortable position sitting or lying down where you can fully relax….”

The cool female voice wraps your mind in a hazy blanket of fog and eventually coaxes your body into an achingly needed sleep.

--

This time the dream wakes you up whimpering into your pillow, arms flung above your head as though you’re skydiving. With a sucking breath, you lift your head to prevent imminent suffocation and instead settle on your side, staring unblinkingly into the darkness. Breath ragged in your chest, your mind can’t seem to move past the last image of your nightmare.

It’s burned into your retinas when you close your eyes and etched onto the moonlight-pale wall when they’re open: your mom’s pallid face staring up at the ceiling, hands resting on top of  her blue embroidered duvet cover, chest still.

A sob escapes your unwilling throat and you’re scrambling to sit up and reach for the lamp. The lamplight suddenly reminds you of your own existence in the physical plane, thrusting all your senses into sharp contrast.

Her greying, thinning hair, the frailty in her fingers, the cracks in her lips, the cloying scent of death.

“Nonononononononono,” you moan, hunched over your knees, fingers tangled in your hair. Your stomach is hollow, chest tight, tears now flowing in earnest. It hasn’t been this bad in a long time, not since 7th grade at least.

Do something, do something, you stupid bitch, your mind is yelling at you, and so you force your body to move. Somewhere, anywhere other than here.

You practically fall out of bed and then lean heavily on your desk to compensate for shaking knees as you move to the door. Feet shuffle in the darkness and all of a sudden you’re sniffling outside Levi’s door, fingers in a deathgrip on your shirt. One, two breaths and you knock three hesitant raps.

Fuck. Shit. Instant regret bubbles up in your throat and you pivot away. Before you can get far, the door opens and you hear Levi’s sleep-ragged voice utter your name like a question. Damn.

You turn back sheepishly.

“I’m sorry, I shouldn’t’ve woken you up. Go back to bed.” Your voice is unnaturally breathy as Levi tries to make you out in the dim light of the moon filtering in through the living room window. 

He reaches for your shoulder to gently pull you out of the shadows, and realization crosses his face as he registers the tear tracks and haunting terror in your eyes.

“It happened again,” he states.

You nod hesitantly and wipe at your cheeks with the back of one hand. You try again to tell him that no, really, you’re fine and he should go back to bed, but the words get lost in the tangle of truths between your brain and mouth.

Instead, what comes out is: “Can… can I sleep with you?” Your eyes finally flick to his before you quickly follow up. “It’s okay if you don’t want to, I just- it helps to have someone close….”

Levi watches you for a moment before sliding his hand from your shoulder to your hand and tugging gently.

“Come on.”

You follow him inside and fidget awkwardly at the side of his bed as he climbs in. His room is impeccably neat, not that you would expect anything different from the man who once gave you a five minute lecture about leaving dishes in the sink to soak. It was the most words you’d heard him string together at the time, and he only stopped when he realized you were laughing.

“You sound like my Great Aunt Cheryl,” you said between hiccups of mirth. “Insufferable woman.”

He had looked at you scathingly, then made you promise never to leave the dishes for later again on pain of changing the wifi password.

Once he’s settled, Levi turns back the covers on your side and looks at you expectantly. You falter a split second before climbing in next to him, the familiar smell of his laundry detergent clouding around you as you fall back into soft pillows. He throws the comforter over you, then settles down and opens his arms.

“C’mere, kid,” he says with a tenderness that makes a sniffle catch in the back of your throat.

You roll into his arms, resting your head in the curve of his shoulder and breathe the first easy breath since you woke up. An arm flung around his middle means your whole body is against his, warming you up like a midafternoon nap in August.

Levi settles his arm around your back after tucking in the blankets and holds you like you’ve always belonged there. He gradually, gradually feels you relax into him as your breathing begins to match his own.

After a while, your eyes droop closed and Levi allows himself the indulgence of tucking his nose into your hair. A bouquet of lavender shampoo and you accompanies him softly into his dreams.

--

(read part 3 here)

[phoenixfire-thewizardgoddess]

Did you hear about the Fraktz haunting in New South Wales (1995ish)?

It has gotten a little folklore-y and probably sensationalised over the years, but the basic premise is that Dina and Hans Fraktz were one of those overly helpful religious types, and were raising their three kids (Curtis - 11, Angie -8/9?, Louisa-May - 3) just about the same.

They lived in Albury, NSW which is in Australia in a dept of housing place, not much room but they made do and were always grateful to god about it. Enough that, as the story goes, it catches the attention of some demonic entities.

Belphorn bets that Lucifer can't corrupt the whole family in under a year, and of course the overachiever that he is, the head of hell says 'Hold my beer mate' and goes to work.

It starts as every horror movie starts, weird noises, bad dreams, smell of decay, something in the corner of their eye, etc. Louisa-May is the most sensitive, and of course, gets taken first after promising something to her 'imaginary friend'.

The paediatrician isn't sure what to do when her frantic parents present at the clinic with a toddler that keeps cackling maniacally and contorting in ways bodies shouldn't. They rationalise it's probably ehhlers-danlos sydrome or a varient, and this needs further observation. A referral for a specialist is provided, and that's that apparently.

Of course with a 'sick' child, the stress and tension in the house is high. Dina and Hanz are having whispered not-arguments so the kids won't hear, and Hanz pretends to ignore that Dina's gone back to smoking ten a day to keep herself calm. In the same way she turns a blind eye to his fermented grape juice dinners... and breakfasts.

Curtis shows the stress by acting out at school, getting detentions frequently and just skirting away from suspension by technicality alone. His friends distance themselves, he has no energy for footy anymore, and he can barely concentrate because something is always just behind him. He screams himself awake, begging it to just leave him alone, he'd do anything to just be left alone.

"Anything?" the shadow asks one night in late June, detaching from the wall. There's a few variations of the pact that the demon makes, but they all boil down to 'you can't be scared of us, if you're one of us' and Curtis is so tired he accepts.

The next morning Curtis is muttering in ancient sumerian under his breath, with bloodshot eyes and a strange echo to his voice.

Hanz speaks with their local minister about an exorcism, or some sort of spiritual guidance. A bake-sale to assist in medical care is organised, and a prayer night held for the two Fraktz children.

Nothing seems to change. Dina can only turn the crucifixes in the house rightside up so many time a day, and starts to just walk past them now. Who cares anymore?

Morning and Evening prayers go by the wayside, and even saying Grace falls out of fashion because its horrifying to hear it babbled back in dead languages, or one of your children shrieking at the holy words burning her ears...

By September, Dina's exhausted. Something's scurrying in the walls at night and she knows its not rats, it can't be. She checks on Curtis and Louisa-May to make sure it's not either of them climbing the walls again.

Hanz won't get up anymore, so she tends to wander the house with a flashlight trying to find the noise, and ignoring the lingering sensation of something breathing on her neck. She ignores it, because their minister said acknowledgement gives it power.

Something has written an ominous message across her kitchen wall in what is either blood or thick jelly, and that's the straw that breaks the camel's back. Dina bursts into tears and starts yelling for whatever was doing this to get the FUCK out of HER HOUsE because she JUST WASHED THAT WALL and WHO DID IT THINK IT WAS to go doing something like that?

Something knocks a few jars over, and four slash marks appear on the bench. Dina's scared but still angry, she screams at the air, turning in every direction. "What do you want? Tell me, and I'll do it, just leave us alone!"

By the time Hanz stumbled into the kitchen, swaying and dizzy from his skinfull, Dina wasn't there anymore. Well, at least, her body was.

Hanz would tell his neighbour, the minister and his church group about finding Dina walking on the ceiling and singing an old lullaby to the sleeping Louisa-May in her arms. She reportedly screams at him when he asks what in god's name is she doing?

Terrified, Angie asks her father if she can go stay with her aunty (Meryl) in Woodonga, just a town over. Hanz readily agrees, and drives her there himself, before again seeking assistance from the church.

The minister, clearly not ever having been prepared for such things when he'd accepted the small town position, was at a loss and offered platitudes. Using comparisons to Job to try and help Hanz feel that his faith was merely being tested, and not that God had abandoned him...

For the first time in his life, Hanz began to doubt in the power of the Lord. He left a few journal entries around October 1995, many of which contained the phrases "I feel like I'm going mad" and "I know I'm not crazy, but it feels like I am", as things spiralled out of control.

The main barrier to accessing help, is that Dina, Curtis and Louisa-May were perfectly capacble of acting like themselves when people came around. So Hanz came off as having some sort of mental health episode, and the minute they left, things deteriorated again.

At his wit's end, Hanz locked himself in his bedroom and begged the lord for help. Sobbing and pleading, clenching his hands so tightly in place that his nails pierced the soft flesh between his fingers and the crucifix imprinted on his palms.

It was not entirely clear what happened after this point, as the tales all like to make interesting claims but the key point is there were no actual witnesses, except Hanz and the already 'taken'. But by the next morning Hanz had been subsumbed by the entity as well.

Despite being with her aunty, Angie continued to have nightmares that she would shriek herself awake from, well into late November. Her aunt and two adult cousins would take turns reading to her, distracting her, and reminding Angie about Christmas coming up soon so she had something to look forwards to.

They also took turns sleeping on the floor by her little bed in the guest room, so that there was always someone to point out there was 'nothing there and nothing can hurt you' when Angie woke up distressed. [Her older cousin Deliah has a book about the ordeal, and I think it might be in e-reader, but you can google it if you want.]

So Christmas rolls around, and excitement for Santa overlays even the deepest fear of shadows, which seems to breathe some life back into little Angie. Her aunt is relieved, but is still fighting to get some in-home supports for her brother, his wife and their other two children; she knows something's wrong, but suspects it might be something in the old council pipes...

Angie struggles to keep her eyes open as the countdown begins, and just managed a solitary enthused 'tooooooooot' from her party blower before falling asleep on the couch against her other cousin, Javin. The adults laugh uproariously and take photos, for when she's old enough to be embarrassed by such things.

Oddly enough, the new year seems to have snapped the rest of the family out of their funk, as if 1996 has a power all of its own. Things seem to slip back into place as if people had not been puppeted by a demonic entity for nearly 12 months...

Down in hell Lucifer was fuming and Belphorn was far too smug.

But what could be said about the bet? Lucifer was bound to lose, because he didn't possess all the Fraktz.

[robininthelabyrinth]

An AU where NHS is the one JGY kills? How would NMJ react to this? Would he care about his morals in the wake of his little brother murder? Would he take JGY life as enough “justice” for his brother bc if u think about it the last time a sect killed one member of his family (the Wen) he was down to go to war and kill them all and that wasn’t someone he had swore to protect :)

Something, once shattered, could never be put together quite the same way as before; it was a truism as applicable to the soul and the heart as it was to objects. And when his brother was killed over a matter of politics, a stupid disagreement between sect leaders over a question of principle, Nie Mingjue’s heart shattered – and his convictions with it.

Wei Wuxian had once heard it said that one should fear most of all the patient man, a gentleman waiting ten years for vengeance; whoever had said that, he thought, had never met Nie Mingjue after he’d blackened. The man wasn’t patient in the slightest.

It hadn’t seemed so bad in the beginning. The man had brought his brother’s body to the Burial Mounds, the corpse curled in his arms like a child, and he had knelt before Wei Wuxian could stop him.

“You revived Wen Ning, even though he was a child of a Sect,” he said, and his eyes were like black coals, the fierce light that had once shined within them utterly extinguished. “Can you revive him, too?”

Wei Wuxian hesitated.

“I will not hold it against you if you can’t,” Nie Mingjue said. He should have been angry, Wei Wuxian would later remember thinking; Nie Mingjue was known for his anger, his rage – why wasn’t he angry? Why wasn’t he raging? It was only later that he realized that Nie Mingjue’s grief was so complete, so all-consuming, that it had pushed him somewhere beyond rage. “But I would ask that you try. In return, I will help you defend those you protect, now and going forward.”

That was a tempting offer. Wei Wuxian had been forced to split from the Jiang sect because they could not protect him; the Nie, on the other hand, were more established, stronger. If they survived this loss, they would be very good protection.

Still, Wei Wuxian wouldn’t sell a false bid of goods.

“He won’t come back to life,” Wei Wuxian said, coming forward to put a hand on Nie Huaisang’s chest. There was resentment there, not as much as Wen Ning, who had suffered so much and kept it all to himself, no, but enough. Whoever had killed him had been someone he had trusted, and he had died angry and betrayed – and no one did anger better than the Nie. It would probably be enough. “He’d still only be a corpse. You know that, right? Your sect above all others abhors the existence of evil –”

“I don’t care,” Nie Mingjue said. “It was my righteousness that failed him; I will not let it stop me again.”

“He wouldn’t be evil,” Wei Wuxian tried to explain. “Wen Ning isn’t evil. But he’d still be a corpse.”

“Even if he is evil, it doesn’t matter,” Nie Mingjue said. “I won’t be able to stop until I see him again.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t know what Nie Mingjue meant, and he was so uncomfortable with having the unbending, unyielding sect leader kneeling before him, begging him the way Wen Ruohan could have only dreamed of, that he doesn’t ask any more questions, merely agreed to give it his best effort.

He should have asked.

He should have –

He didn’t know what he should have done. At any rate, he would later learn that Nie Mingjue spoke the truth: he would not stop. He couldn’t stop.

He left his brother in Wei Wuxian’s care, and he returned to the Unclean Realm, and from there he set for to Lanling, to Koi Tower, where the people who had killed his brother lived. Wei Wuxian wasn’t sure what happened there, isolated from gossip as he was; by the time one of the Wens dared go down to the village and heard about it, everyone had universally started to refuse to talk about the entire event, naming it taboo.

Still, they heard enough.

Perhaps Jin Guangshan had hoped that his younger brother’s death would drive Nie Mingjue into a qi deviation, or perhaps he’d thought that Nie Mingjue would be so bound up in his belief in justice, his respect for etiquette and law, that he would not be able to respond in force. Perhaps he simply didn’t think it through at all.

He certainly didn’t think that Nie Mingjue would come to Lanling in the middle of the night, without warning nor declaration of war, and raze Koi Tower to the ground before half the cultivators of the Jin even knew what was happened. Who knew what salt was used to sow the fields, what monsters were willingly unleashed, but the entire city died almost overnight, the ground turned to ash, flames hot enough to melt gold rising up to the heavens with a roar like a dragon, the people was put to the sword – some people believed the children had been spared, others denied it. Nobody knew anything for sure.

They said Nie Mingjue was like a martial god, eyes indifferent even as he reaped life after life – Wen Ruohan had carefully cultivated his inner sect disciples from the most powerful he could find, and they almost all fell before Nie Mingjue’s blade; Jin Guangshan’s cultivators, who were selected on the basis of other considerations, didn’t stand a chance. There was no mercy, no humanity left; Nie Mingjue had left that all behind along with his righteousness, disregarded as useless and unimportant because it couldn’t even keep his brother safe – and Wei Wuxian thought of Jiang Cheng, thought of Jiang Yanli, and couldn’t say that he’d do it any differently.

Some people even said Nie Mingjue wielded demonic cultivation in his anger.

Wei Wuxian didn’t know if that was true.

He didn’t know how he’d feel if it was.

He didn’t know what to feel, when Jiang Cheng came to him – they’d broken all ties, not so long before, and so it was a surprise to see him.

“Did anyone see you –” he began.

“It doesn’t matter anymore,” Jiang Cheng said. His clothing was disorderly, his face unclean; he did not seem to be well. “Nothing does – the Jin sect is gone.”

Wei Wuxian felt fear for the first time. “But – shijie?”

“She’s safe,” Jiang Cheng said. “Jiang Ling, too; they’re at the Lotus Pier.”

“Jiang Ling?” Wei Wuxian echoed, eyebrows arching.

Jiang Cheng shrugged. “A surname is a small price to pay for life,” he said shortly, and that really said it all, didn’t it? “I don’t know what happened to the peacock, but I’m not holding my breath; rescuing shijie was already more than I expected…I’ve agreed not to interfere, in the future.”

“The future?” Wei Wuxian echoed. “What – what more is there? I thought the scheme was Jin Guangshan’s –”

“It was, but he wasn’t the only one who would benefit from it,” Jiang Cheng said. He ran his hands over his face. “The Jin were second only to the Wen when it came to the number of allied clans – anyone who had anything to do with it, even under suspicion, is considered guilty…I’ve all but given up our Jiang sect’s independence. If Nie Mingjue wants to wipe out one of the sects that answers to us, I won’t be able to stop him. My ancestors will be ashamed of me.”

“You did it for shijie.”

“I did it for all of us,” Jiang Cheng said. “I heard during the Sunshot Campaign that Wen Ruohan once sought an alliance with Nie Mingjue to dominate the rest of the world, which was rejected on account of what happened to the former Sect Leader – I believe it. I never thought it was true back then, but I believe it now. The masterless sabers –”

He shook his head, sealing his lips, and no matter what Wei Wuxian did, he couldn’t get another word out of him, just that ominous final phrase – the masterless sabers – how could a saber not have a master? A sword was only a spiritual weapon, guided by the cultivator that wielded it – even the Stygian Tiger Seal was only a tool.

“Why are you here, then?” Wei Wuxian finally asked.

Jiang Cheng looked at him as if he were stupid. “If I die, the Jiang Sect dies with me – where else would I be?” He saw that Wei Wuxian didn’t understand and snorted, shaking his head. “Didn’t Nie Mingjue promise you that those you protected would be kept safe? Well, here I am.”

Wei Wuxian licked suddenly dry lips. “Why would he kill you?”

“Because I would benefit,” Jiang Cheng said simply. “Whether or not I support what happened, I would benefit, a fellow sect leader…out of recognition for our former relationship, he told me that if I were here, I would live. The Lotus Pier won’t be touched. Besides, I’m here for another reason, on behalf of the cultivation world.”

“Oh? For what?”

“To get you to hurry up and bring Nie Huaisang back, of course. I don’t think anything short of that will make Nie Mingjue stop.”

I won’t be able to stop until I see him again.

“The process takes time,” Wei Wuxian protested. “Even though I have an idea of what to do, it’s not easy, it’s tricky –”

“I brought you help,” Jiang Cheng said shortly. He nodded down the mountain, where he’d left –

“That’s a small child,” Wei Wuxian said blankly.

“Somewhat undernourished,” Jiang Cheng conceded. “His name is Xue Yang; he’s a delinquent from Kuizhou, rather famous – well, infamous – for being pretty handy with demonic cultivation –”

“Jiang Cheng. That is a small child.”

“The Jin Sect took him in as a guest disciple –”

“Small! Child! How old is he, eight?”

“Twelve.”

“Jiang Cheng!”

“He’s pretty annoying, but he’ll shut up if you give him candy,” Jiang Cheng said. “I brought a bag. Now get back to fucking work before more people die.”

At first meeting, Xue Yang was a nasty little gremlin, full of spite and not a little bit of brilliance; it was extremely annoying how much it felt like looking into a slightly off-kilter mirror. He’d lost a finger, somewhere along the way, and while there was a sword buckled onto his belt he never used it – it took a while before Wei Wuxian noticed it, given that he himself didn’t use a sword and he’d assumed Xue Yang was following his example, but in fact the boy was terrified of swords.

More specifically, of sabers.

Even Nie Huaisang’s, which was – to be frank – the daintiest, frilliest saber Wei Wuxian had ever seen.

“You were a guest disciple of the Jin sect before,” Wei Wuxian said. “You saw what happened? The masterless sabers?”

Xue Yang averted his eyes and didn’t answer, which meant yes; he would otherwise have had a snappy answer of some sort.

“Was it that bad?”

“It was worse,” Xue Yang said, uncharacteristically solemn. “The masterless sabers - they hate evil. Who told them that people were evil?”

“I did,” a low voice said from behind him, and Xue Yang froze, the whites of his eyes showing; he resembled a small rabbit that had tried to demonstrate its toughness being suddenly faced with the teeth of a tiger.

“Sect Leader Nie,” Wei Wuxian said, much more respectfully than he might have otherwise, before the rumors. Nie Mingjue looked much the same as he had the first time: back straight, wearing his clan’s colors, his eyes dead inside. Even Baxia looked the same.

But he felt – wrong.

Maybe he really was using demonic cultivation, but if he was, it wasn’t anything like what Wei Wuxian had invented.

“How is my brother?” Nie Mingjue asked.

“The process is going very well so far,” Wei Wuxian hedged. “I should have a result for you within a week.”

Nie Mingjue nodded and turned to go.

“What are you going to do when he wakes?” Wei Wuxian asked, and Nie Mingjue stopped. “You said you couldn’t stop until he was back – what does it mean, that you’ll stop? Stop the killing? What will happen next?”

“Bring my brother back,” Nie Mingjue said. He didn’t turn back. “And we’ll see.”

That wasn’t reassuring. “Where are you going next?”

“The Cloud Recesses.”

Wei Wuxian’s eyes widened. “You can’t possibly believe that the Gusu Lan sect had anything to do with it – that’s your sworn brother’s home!”

“We made an oath together,” Nie Mingjue said. “I will uphold my end of it.”

Wei Wuxian didn’t understand; he simply stood there, helpless, watching the other man leave.

There was a tug on his sleeve.

He looked down at Xue Yang.

“The one who killed his brother, on behalf of the Jin sect,” Xue Yang whispered. “It was Jin Guangyao.”

Wei Wuxian thought about what he’d heard about the contents of the oath that the three war heroes had sworn and cursed, torn between chasing Nie Mingjue and stopping him and realizing that that would be futile. Even if he could raise an army of corpses to stop him, a man with an army that could defeat the Jin sect wouldn’t be afraid of him – and he didn’t dare use the Tiger Seal now.

“Let’s do what we can,” he told Xue Yang, who nodded furiously, all reluctance and moodiness gone. “If we can get Nie Huaisang back before Nie Mingjue reaches the Cloud Recesses, that’ll – that’d be good.”

“I don’t know if it’ll help.”

Neither did Wei Wuxian.

part 2