#or should i say benjamin hunter

[bluestbadger]

i’ve been playing ace attorney in french to get some practice in before the next semester starts, and while i think ive got a pretty decent grasp on following the plot in a different language, nothing could prepare me for having to deal with edgeworth being named benjamin hunter … scary stuff

[arcane-vagabond]

Don't Hang'em Til Noon: Prologue

Don’t Hang'em Til Noon: Prologue

Pairing: Jake “Hangman” Seresin x reader

Summary: Jake “Hangman” Seresin is a notorious leader within the Dagger Gang of the old western territories of the United States. You, a recently orphaned socialite from the eastern seaboard, find yourself swept off to live with your older brother who has set down roots in said western territory. Determined to to make the best of your situation, what will you do when said outlaw sets his sights on you?

Warnings: Mentions of parent deaths, swearing, no Dagger members yet, but they’re mentioned, use of y/n. I think that might be it?

Word Count: 1k

A/N: Feedback is always appreciated! Let me know what you all think! Should I continue? 18+ ONLY!! This work is also being published on AO3 under the username arcane_vagabond.

Series Masterlist || DGU Masterlist

The carriage did very little to quell the seemingly never ending heat of the western territories. In fact, you were fairly sure it was making it worse. You had long given up on attempting to read the many books you had packed - the heat coupled with the constant jostling from the dirt path causing you to nearly lose the contents of your stomach on multiple occasions. Why your brother thought he would try his hand at settling the expansive west, you’d never understand.

Your brother, Benjamin, wasn’t an impulsive or reckless man. No, quite the opposite actually. He had done well for himself back home in Maryland at your father’s law firm. One of the best law firms in the state, perhaps even the entire eastern seaboard. Your great-grandfather had founded the firm, and it was your brother who inherited the family’s legacy when your father had passed only a year prior.

You had let out a long sigh, still trying in vain to cool yourself down with your prized folded fan. It had been a gift from your mother on your sixteenth birthday, and it was one of the few things you had left of her now. Your father had been thrown into the depths of despair when she died - the doctor’s had said it was consumption. It was a miracle, really, that none of you had contracted it. Your father had withdrawn after her death, and your brother had been left to pick up the slack as a result. Thankfully, he had already been regarded as a respectable lawyer at the time. So it had thrown you for a loop when he announced one night at dinner that he was moving his practice out west.

You had had been completely against the idea, of course. Why wouldn’t you be? Your whole life was spent amongst polite society in Baltimore. Your friends were there. You had interests there. Your parents were buried there.

“We’ll make happier memories, y/n,” Benjamin had said with a soft smile. “We’ll have a fresh start there. What do you say, Scout?”

Of course, when he called you by your childhood nickname, it was hard to ignore the pull on your heart. You had earned that nickname before you had even hit double digits. Your father was an avid hunter, and despite the constant protesting from your mother, he insisted on bringing you along.

“It’s not proper for a young lady,” she had scowled at him, earning a mischievous smile from your father.

“And so is scowling, my darling. Yet, here we are.”

You chuckled at the memory. Your mother had grown red in the face and practically stomped her way out of the parlor. She had refused to speak to your father until he came home the next afternoon with a small bouquet of wildflowers. They had sat proudly on the table by the front door until they withered weeks later. And you had, indeed, gone on the hunting trip, picking up the art of tracking fairly quickly much to your father’s approval.

“She’s a natural! A regular scout, she is!” he had exclaimed excitedly to your mother when you had returned from the trip. Despite herself, your mother had smiled warmly at his enthusiasm.

Your heart clenched again at the happy memories from long ago. Your mother had died nearly five years ago now, and with your father’s death still so fresh, it was hard to allow yourself to dwell too long on those memories. Perhaps Benjamin was right. What you both needed was a fresh start.

The carriage lurched to a halt on the side of the road, and you heard the driver climb down from his perch. Gathering your skirts, you opened the door and stepped out into the blazing sun. No, the sun was much worse than the stifling heat of the carriage. Shielding your eyes from the dazzling light, you looked over to where the driver tended to the horses.

“Why have we stopped, sir?” You asked, moving to the front of the carriage. The older man looked up at you with a friendly smile, but you could see the tension that laced his shoulders.

“Just giving the horses a quick break, miss. We’ll be movin’ on shortly. I reckoned you’d want to stretch your legs for a bit, anyway.”

“Yes, thank you,” you smiled, looking around at the seemingly endless wasteland before you. Oh, how you longed for the gardens of Baltimore.

“How much farther until we reach Maverick?” You inquired. The newly founded town of Maverick was named after it’s founder - Peter “Maverick” Mitchell. A prominent businessman who had decided to try his luck at helping settle the west, much like your brother.

“Only a couple more miles now, miss,” the driver answered politely, eyes darting around the terrain.

“Are you quite alright?” You asked, nerves starting to eat their way up your spine.

“Just making sure we aren’t ambushed while we ain’t paying attention, is all.”

“Ambushed?” Your eyebrows shot up in alarm. The driver nodded.

“Yes’m. These parts are the Dagger Gang’s territory.”

“The Dagger Gang?” You murmured, inching closer to the carriage.

The driver scratched the back of his head and let out a sigh. “Some o’ the meanest sons of bitches in the west. Gang is led by Hangman and Rooster, and no one wants to get on their bad side.”

You didn’t respond. Of course you had heard rumors of outlaws here in the west, but you didn’t even think to entertain the possibility of them being anywhere near you. A mistake you now regretted. The driver must have seen your thoughts on your face because he offered you a reassuring smile.

“I reckon we’ll be fine, miss. Don’t you worry now.”

“Yes, thank you,” you answered politely, turning to make your way back towards the carriage. It was only a few moments later when you heard the driver climb back up onto his perch. The carriage lurched again as it began to move once again down the empty road.

Oh, what had you gotten yourself into?

[mysteriouslybluepirate]

Season 2 OFMD: Replace Prince Ricky with Benjamin Hornigold

Hear me out.

S2Ep1: Introduce Hornigold in disguise to Stede. Make 'Ben' an old trusty sea dog who still knows a bit too much about Stede Bonnet. Have Ben compliment Stede in the same way Ricky did. -HAVE STEDE TRUST HIM- Ben being an old pirate who misses the life, the adventure, the brutality. Make Stede sympathise with him.

Make him wear a shitty disguise at Jackies until he's caught near the end of the episode (and gets away), because DUH. That's Benjamin fucking Hornigold, Jackie fucking hates him(we see her shoot at him as he runs). Maybe have Jackie tell Stede he's dangerous, only for Stede to reply 'that's just an old man' and brush off her concern.

NEXT WE SEE HIM:

S2Ep3: ED'S DREAM SEQUENCE

It's finally revealed to the audience through Ed's dreams that the old man they left behind is the infamous turncoat Hornigold. Change the line about abandoning Ed's body at a beach, to at a port town, and the 'Ed was mutinied' lie can be told like how it was in ep 3. But now we as the audience can catch hints that Ben isn't acting right. Ed still sees him as the brutal pirate and not the old man Stede met a few episodes ago.

THEN(replacing Ricky's speech on that British ship):

Hornigold discusses how brutal pirate life is to the British sailors under his command. Focus on how best to hunt them down. We can even have another sailor remind Hornigold that he's a pirate hunter due to Ben's signing of the act of grace.

Him and Zheng on Zheng's ship: Keep the scene the same. Auntie points out that Ben betrayed his pirate crew to go serve the English. Have both captains talk about how pointless this all is, but make it clear that he's willing to negociate. Have Ben roll his eyes at the British's gifts(clocks), but say it's all a formality and they can 'sell them off if she wants'. Knowing that she won't have the time to in the next 24 hours and that this will be her ships downfall.

The Zheng and Stede Fight: I hate that she gives this whole speech about defeating idiot men, only to get defeated by Ricky- an actual idiot. From this scene on she's less 'Pirate Queen/Captain' and more 'badass side chick that fits in with the crew'. BUT in this write, she lost to a pirate legend. Who sold his crew out for his own freedom. She lost because she was outmaneuvered, and she SHOULD have known better. (seriously though, why did Zheng trust Ricky, he was a british fucking officer, GOD I hate that shit)

NOW THE FUCKING PAY OFF:

Hornigold captures the crew post ep 7. We can keep Stede and Zheng getting away. BUT HORNIGOLD AND IZZY INTERACTING? Izzy siting up and defending his family from a person from his past????

Look, we know Ed has been a pirate for at least 20 years (he's known Fang for 20 years), so there's a very good chance Ed and Izzy were together on his ship.

Let Izzy give the speech about crew being family, about how you sacrifice everything for your crew. Spitting in the face of the piracy Izzy himself once lived his life by. Of this dog eats dog world.

Also: Izzy would have absolutely searched Benjamin fucking Hornigold for weapons. Now. We can keep Ben killing Izzy, maybe he runs up and grabs a sailor's gun, I don't like it. (Izzy didn't need to die for the story to work) But at least NOW Izzy died to a man whose haunted his every life's decision. A person he said he would never be, and slowly did become through years of trying to survive. It's not a good ending, but now it has a bit more meaning than Ricky getting a lucky shot he didn't earn.

Make Ed furious over Izzy's body, but show him visibly holding back from getting revenge. That throwing himself back in won't fix Izzy. So he fixes himself. This also pays off the consequences of signing the Act of Grace. Showing that this might just be the end of piracy as Ed knows it if his former bastard Captain was willing to turn coat.

This also means a BIT more for Stede, as his blind trust in Ben in episode 1 meant a dangerous pirate got away. Maybe in episode 1 Stede tells Ben about Ed. About how worried he is his 'friend' has gone off the deep end. Ben of course, actively hunting down Blackbeard and doing anything to get to his old prodigy. Have Stede regret that his 'plan to sell off Hornigold to the English' got Izzy killed. Have Stede learn to hold his cards closer for next season, to be slower to trust people. This would be a better arc than 'stede learns to be an excellent captain for his family and gives it all up in the end as soon as he can get his dick wet'.

It's still REALLY shallow, and I don't like it. This season should have had a better villain than trying to introduce the possibility of Zheng hunting them down, Ned Low, AND the British. But now, at least it fits better thematically for Izzy and Ed's arcs as growing past the traditional pirate life and Stede for learning to control his ego, showing him that he STILL has a lot to learn.

[halothenthehorns]

Chapter 18: CHIRON THROWS A PARTY

Alex started shouting reading in delight, and only continued in that way, "and we all know Chiron's family throws the best parties!"

Annabeth was a third worried about Oceanus, a third worried about Percy, and a third worried about her eardrums as she gently tapered, "but Chiron's throwing the party. Perhaps he has something planned more mellow, with hot chocolate and Dean Martin."

"Odd time for a party if so," Magnus offered in peace.

Thalia was mildly impressed Alex couldn't get a hint off Annabeth about even rainbow afros in the near future. She really had her shit together.

Alex frowned at Annabeth killing her vibe but nodded and continued reading a touch more in the normal hearing range.

Midtown was a war zone. We flew over little skirmishes everywhere. A giant was ripping up trees in Bryant Park while dryads pelted him with nuts. Outside the Waldorf Astoria, a bronze statue of Benjamin Franklin was whacking a hellhound with a rolled-up newspaper. A trio of Hephaestus campers fought a squad of dracaenae in the middle of Rockefeller Center.

Those who had never been to New York just heard landmarks and monsters being smashed together like wrong puzzle pieces. They understood the gravity of what they were hearing, simply because of the look on Percy's face. As if every new crack he'd traveled over was a new vindication he sought.

I was tempted to stop and help, but I could tell from the smoke and noise that the real action had moved farther south. Our defenses were collapsing. The enemy was closing in on the Empire State Building.

The sense of gravitas in Alex's voice always did sound like she should have all attention around the campfire. Even those who were in the know had a way of listening in and left breathless at what was going to happen.

We did a quick sweep of the surrounding area. The Hunters had set up a defensive line on 37th, just three blocks north of Olympus. To the east on Park Avenue, Jake Mason and some other Hephaestus campers were leading an army of statues against the enemy. To the west, the Demeter cabin and Grover's nature spirits had turned Sixth Avenue into a jungle that was hampering a squadron of Kronos's demigods. The south was clear for now, but the flanks of the enemy army were swinging around. A few more minutes and we'd be totally surrounded.

"We have to land where they need us most," I muttered.

That's everywhere, boss.

"We've only just started this one and the horse already gets the gold star," Jason looked pretty proud of Blackjack earning that.

Percy nodded seriously. "Right, so, our options include splitting the island in half and hoping Kronos takes the part that doesn't have the Empire State Building-"

"Pass," Annabeth rolled her eyes.

"Or shutting the hell up, Jason, to see what we do about it," Percy concluded.

"I'm sort of leaning towards the first option though," Thalia said honestly, "like honestly, I'd just kind of like to see you try."

"You're all hopeless," Nico said in true bafflement how they'd survived this night.

"We're all heroes," Percy reminded with pride, "hopeful, hero, hhhh-" he stammered on another H word.

"Hobgoblins," Alex offered.

"Humanitarians," Magnus grinned.

"Honorable, hopeful, heroes," Jason offered, immediately getting back on Percy's good side as he gestured to him with a nod of thanks.

Alex huffed and called them all a bunch of hobgoblins before she continued.

I spotted a familiar silver owl banner in the southeast corner of the fight, 33rd at the Park Avenue tunnel. Annabeth and two of her siblings were holding back a Hyperborean giant.

"There!" I told Blackjack. He plunged toward the battle.

"No offense to Annabeth in the slightest," Will couldn't help but say through only slightly gritted teeth, "but that's really who you thought needed the most help?"

"No," Percy dismissed at once her injured shoulder had any play in this thought...even if he wouldn't deny it either. "I came to ask her like I would Chiron on top of that hill where forces needed me most."

I leaped off his back and landed on the giant's head. When the giant looked up, I slid off his face, shield-bashing his nose on the way down.

"RAWWWR!' The giant staggered backward, blue blood trickling from his nostrils.

"Does it taste like an Icee?" Alex grinned.

"I didn't lick it!" Percy yelped in disgust.

"Your loss," she shrugged.

I hit the pavement running. The Hyperborean breathed a cloud of white mist, and the temperature dropped. The spot where I'd landed was now coated with ice, and I was covered in frost like a sugar donut.

Alex laughed in delight that further sweets just reinforced her idea of these guys showing up in the next imagining she had of visiting Canada in a complete Willy Wonka mayhem.

"Hey, ugly!" Annabeth yelled. I hoped she was talking to the giant, not me.

"Both?" Magnus smirked.

"No Magnus," Annabeth chuckled, "I meant the giant."

"I don't know, the two looked pretty similar right then, that's not a great defense," Thalia smirked.

"You weren't there, shut it zappy," Percy huffed.

"I don't need to be there to know how you look covered in donut powder, I've witnessed that mess," she chuckled.

Blue Boy bellowed and turned toward her, exposing the unprotected back of his legs. I charged and stabbed him behind the knee.

"Just as planned," Annabeth told Will.

"You planned on Percy descending from above to stab that thing while you distracted him?" He asked in disbelief.

"He's very handy that way," Annabeth shrugged. "I wouldn't have even been surprised to see him tame that pig."

Will couldn't even be mad if they were joking. The two did work best together.

"WAAAAH!" The Hyperborean buckled. I waited for him to turn, but he froze. I mean he literally turned to solid ice. From the point where I'd stabbed him, cracks appeared in his body. They got larger and wider until the giant crumbled in a mountain of blue shards.*

"Why was that somehow more disturbing than turning to dust?" Magnus asked.

"More visually destructive," Alex said with relish.

"They won't turn to dust and vanish as fast," Nico agreed.

Magnus's frown grew as he realized they were right and decided to set aside for now why that did deeply bother him about all these monsters.

"Thanks." Annabeth winced, trying to catch her breath. "The pig?"

"Pork chops," I said.

"Good." She flexed her shoulder. Obviously, the wound was still bothering her, but she saw my expression and rolled her eyes. "I'm fine, Percy. Come on! We've got plenty of enemies left."

She was right.

"Mmmmm," Annabeth closed her eyes and savored that.

"About the enemies, you only get to enjoy that half as much for not being fine in the shoulder," Percy huffed.

"Mm," Annabeth mocked, trying to sound just as savoring with a serious face.

The result caused them all to snicker like idiots.

The next hour was a blur. I fought like I'd never fought before—wading into legions of dracaenae, taking out dozens of telkhines with every strike, destroying empousai and knocking out enemy demigods. No matter how many I defeated, more took their place.

Percy had been fighting for his life since page one of this mess.

This felt like more. Heavier. Nine times out of ten Percy was outside of Camp facing down these threats, but this time Camp had come to defend his home, and it didn't feel like there was an end goal in sight this time of running them all out. Even if they won this day. More would always take their place.

Annabeth and I raced from block to block, trying to shore up our defenses. Too many of our friends lay wounded in the streets. Too many were missing.

Will fidgeted with the beads of his camp necklace. He officially had more than Micheal at the end of last summer. The assortment of colors always stood out on his neck when he looked in the mirror, like flashes of eyes he'd never see again.

As the night wore on and the moon got higher, we were backed up foot by foot until we were only a block from the Empire State Building in any direction. At one point Grover was next to me, bonking snake women over the head with his cudgel. Then he disappeared in the crowd, and it was Thalia at my side, driving the monsters back with the power of her magic shield. Mrs. O'Leary bounded out of nowhere, picked up a Laistrygonian giant in her mouth, and flung him into the air like a Frisbee.

Annabeth used her invisibility cap to sneak behind the enemy lines. Whenever a monster disintegrated for no apparent reason with a surprised look on his face, I knew Annabeth had been there.

But it still wasn't enough.

Jason felt as if he were being held captive by his own mind. The sounds and smells flashing by to fast to get a real grasp on, the emotions that kept peaking and rolling back out of him while he sat in a green bean bag at the bottom of the ocean. He knew every flick of the wrist Percy had made, but everything felt a step off from truly connecting he felt a little madness creeping in what the heck his old life really was until he forced himself to focus on Alex reading with her whole self, Percy's manic grin, Thalia lounged out in her seat still fiddling with her bracelet. This was real, at least. These weren't moments a god could take away from him again. He wouldn't let it happen.

"Hold your lines!" Katie Gardner shouted, somewhere off to my left.

The problem was there were too few of us to hold anything. The entrance to Olympus was twenty feet behind me. A ring of brave demigods, Hunters, and nature spirits guarded the doors.

Alex's voice shook rarely, but it did now as she realized this was Rachel's drawing, again. Just popping up in Percy's near future. And she was on her way there...somehow. She kept it together well and barreled through the moment, still reading with a thrill in her voice for the idea of being in that action, but Magnus saw it.

I slashed and hacked, destroying everything m my path, but even I was getting tired, and I couldn't be everywhere at once.

Behind the enemy troops, a few blocks to the east, a bright light began to shine. I thought it was the sunrise. Then I realized Kronos was riding toward us on a golden chariot. A dozen Laistrygonian giants bore torches before him. Two Hyperboreans carried his black-and-purple banners. The Titan lord looked fresh and rested, his powers at full strength. He was taking his time advancing, letting me wear myself down.

Alex felt the internal urge to puff up and hiss. To transform into a chimera and use all three heads to deal with this. To throw a slushie with some human teeth in all their faces. This entrapment down here really was starting to affect even her creativity when that's all that came to mind before she just audibly grumbled for a moment before moving on.

Annabeth appeared next to me. "We have to fall back to the doorway. Hold it at all costs!"

She was right. I was about to order a retreat when I heard the hunting horn.

It cut through the noise of the battle like a fire alarm. A chorus of horns answered from all around us, echoing off the buildings of Manhattan.

I glanced at Thalia, but she just frowned.

"Not the Hunters," she assured me. "We're all here."

Alex threw Annabeth a look of fond excitement. She'd known all along the party ponies were coming but had tried to tamper her expectations they weren't going to until the end of the chapter and perhaps only a handful of them would be there with more paintballs.

This, sounded like fun.

"No international league heading in?" Jason asked her, knowing the real answer, still imagining girls in kilts and bows showing up for his own amusement.

"Not unless I was finally unbanned from Saskatchewan," Thalia shrugged. "Long story," she promised at the many confused faces.

"Then who?"

The horns got louder. I couldn't tell where they were coming from because of the echo, but it sounded like an entire army was approaching.

Alex grinned. She read giddy, with such mayhem and delight it would have been infectious to Ethan or possibly even Kronos himself to get hyped about his own demise coming. Annabeth, at least, got a moment to smile and imagine Luke with that old challenging smile on his face to hear of an enemy being thwarted.

I was afraid it might be more enemies, but Kronos's forces looked as confused as we were. Giants lowered their clubs. Dracaenae hissed. Even Kronos's honor guard looked uneasy.

Then, to our left, a hundred monsters cried out at once. Kronos's entire northern flank surged forward.

I thought we were doomed, but they didn't attack. They ran straight past us and crashed into their southern allies.

Percy was already blinking like he was trying to get the dust out of his eyes. The monsters had already started to blur together by that time. The slightly different shades of their skin and the little details they each had in their armor had faded to nothing in his mind but where next to swing his sword. Seeing them run right past him, flee and then explode on their allies' own weapons, coating the streets in glittering sand that was dispersed moments later as more took their place amid those horns really messed with him and put in perspective while an entire army just watched in terror really had made him feel small for just that moment.

A new blast of horns shattered the night. The air shimmered. In a blur of movement, an entire cavalry appeared as if dropping out of light speed.

"Yeah, baby!" a voice wailed. "PARTY!"

A shower of arrows arced over our heads and slammed into the enemy, vaporizing hundreds of demons. But these weren't regular arrows. They made whizzy sounds as they flew, like WHEEEEEE! Some had pinwheels attached to them. Others had boxing gloves rather than points.

"Centaurs!" Annabeth yelled.

"So, I think the Party Ponies have arrived," Will said conversationally.

"And they're going to smash everything in their sight charged on the power of awesome!" Alex yelled like a child high on soda and cursed knowledge. They were already resigned to pissing off the ocean titan and letting her have her fun.

The Party Pony army exploded into our midst in a riot of colors: tie-dyed shirts, rainbow Afro wigs, oversize sunglasses, and war-painted faces. Some had slogans scrawled across their flanks like HORSEZ PWN or KRONOS SUX.

"That's going to be my license plate one day," Alex declared, reading each new thing as if a treasure trove of a lifetime. Maybe Loki Sux instead.

Hundreds of them filled the entire block. My brain couldn't process everything I saw, but I knew if I were the enemy, I'd be running.

"I'm so disappointed in your brain," Jason groaned. He wanted every messy detail of this just as bad.

"I am too," Percy nodded. He knew his friends loved this kind of stuff and really was sorry he couldn't give them better visuals. Stupid brain.

"Percy!" Chiron shouted across the sea of wild centaurs.

"Chiron and Percy, parting the sea of wild centaurs and creatures to get to each other," Thalia gave a mock sniff. "It's such an amazing story of mentor and mentee-"

"I'm going to turn you into a manatee," Percy scowled.

He was dressed in armor from the waist up, his bow in his hand, and he was grinning in satisfaction.

"I half imagined him showing up to this in his tweed jacket," Nico admitted.

"He's worn that once guys, while pretending to be a real teacher at my school," Percy chuckled.

"What do you mean a real teacher?" Annabeth looked at him in disappointment. "He's literally the trainer of all hero's seaweed brain."

"Like, grading papers, and Paul- no, but- boring, no," Percy groaned that wasn't right either and waved at Alex to just get back to the fun stuff.

"Sorry we're late!"

"DUDE!" Another centaur yelled. "Talk later. WASTE MONSTERS NOW!"

"That centaur knows how to live," Alex nodded in agreement.

"We haven't slayed one monster in here," Percy agreed in mild disappointment. "Guys, do we talk to much?!"

"Yes," they all agreed, not that it was going to stop a single one of them.

He locked and loaded a double-barrel paint gun and blasted an enemy hellhound bright pink. The paint must've been mixed with Celestial bronze dust or something, because as soon as it splattered the hellhound, the monster yelped and dissolved into a pink-and-black puddle.

Alex's laugh was subdued at best, even for that badass moment though. She couldn't recklessly laugh at that harm done anymore without picturing Mrs. O'Leary crossing her paws over her nose in Percy's apartment. Even Magnus couldn't have a vindictive laugh over this happening to a monster dog with that look on her face.

"PARTY PONIES.'" a centaur yelled. "SOUTH FLORIDA!"

"As opposed to North Florida?" Jason asked blankly.

"Bet the Flordia Georgia line is an epic meet-up spot?" Percy shrugged.

Somewhere across the battlefield, a twangy voice yelled back, "HEART OF TEXAS CHAPTER!"

Will pressed his hand to his heart and started humming something. Nico just thought what a lovable dork he was no matter the song.

"HAWAII OWNS YOUR FACES!" a third one shouted.

It was the most beautiful thing I'd ever seen.

Annabeth tried hard to hitch up a mock sob, but it came out to much as a laugh to be anything more than adorable to Percy.

The entire Titan army turned and fled, pushed back by a flood of paintballs, arrows, swords, and NERF baseball bats. The centaurs trampled everything in their path.

"Run, wild horses, run!" Will said with a static kind of energy that got the others just as hyped as Alex could. He'd been running around trying to ensure the sick and injured had gotten inside first, he'd been snatching up supplies so fast the Stolls would have been proud, he'd been having to deal with his own chaos and really hadn't even been aware these guys showed up until one tapped him on the shoulder and offered help. He was pretty sure it was one from Colorado and had still instantly said yes without question.

"Stop running, you fools!" Kronos yelled. "Stand and ACKK!"

Alex really drew that noise out too, making it sound wet and painful, leaving no one in doubt Kronos had not managed to finish saying the word attack.

That last part was because a panicked Hyperborean giant stumbled backward and sat on top of him.

The lord of time disappeared under a giant blue butt.

Through an effort Hercules would never bother with, Percy refused to let himself laugh at that like most everyone else did as Annabeth bit her lip. He was pretty sure that should earn him a free pass for laughing at something inappropriate in the future. Jason might even laminate it for him.

We pushed them for several blocks until Chiron yelled, "HOLD! On your promise, HOLD!"

It wasn't easy, but eventually the order got relayed up and down the ranks of centaurs, and they started to pull back, letting the enemy flee.

Thalia's face was flushed with joy, still panting just a bit from her laughter at Luke's stupid face vanishing under an icy ass like he wholly deserved, the ghost of adrenaline she hadn't properly felt in days still pumping through her. Once this high had worn off she'd been so exhausted she'd nearly fallen asleep climbing some stairs!

"Chiron's smart," Annabeth said, wiping the sweat off her face. "If we pursue, we'll get too spread out. We need to regroup."

"I mean, yeah, but," Alex gestured to the book and the chaos being taken away.

"I'll personally sign you up for the next scavenger hunt at Camp, nothing gets more chaotic than that," Annabeth promised.

"Deal," Alex shrugged without further ado.

"But the enemy—"

"They're not defeated," she agreed. "But the dawn is coming. At least we've bought some time."

I didn't like pulling back, but I knew she was right.

"How to sum up them dating," Will and Nico said at once before they both busted out laughing. Annabeth and Percy exchanged unamused looks at this somehow continuing long past the point it was funny, but as constantly proven, they knew when to pick their battles.

I watched as the last of the telkhines scuttled toward the East River. Then reluctantly I turned and headed back toward the Empire State Building.

We set up a two-block perimeter, with a command tent at the Empire State Building. Chiron informed us that the Party Ponies had sent chapters from almost every state in the Union: forty from California, two from Rhode Island,

"Rhode Island slacking," Alex sniffed. "It's right next door!"

"They're, congressional appointments, of centaurs," Magnus said in fascination. "Like, they sent some by population? Is there a centaur president?"

"Ah, no," Annabeth shook her head with a smile. "Don't overthink it cuz."

"Right," he chuckled, imagining that would be Chiron anyways and he already knew what a hectic leader that guy was.

thirty from Illinois . . . Roughly five hundred total had answered his call, but even with that many, we couldn't defend more than a few blocks.

"Just topple over one unoccupied building, that's all I'm asking for," Alex crossed her fingers hopefully. "Brick launcher grenade gun!"

"They could too," Jason said with mingled dread and delight for that idea.

"Dude," said a centaur named Larry. His T-shirt identified him as BIG CHIEF UBER GUY, NEW MEXICO CHAPTER.

"Are all the Hells Angels just secretly centaurs? Is there a centaur gang?" Percy asked.

"The only turf war they'd have is best licorice supply runs, I think we're safe from that," Annabeth shrugged.

"That was more fun than our last convention in Vegas!"

"Yeah," said Owen from South Dakota. He wore a black leather jacket and an old WWII army helmet. "We totally wasted them!"

Chiron patted Owen on the back. "You did well, my friends, but don't get careless. Kronos should never be underestimated. Now why don't you visit the diner on West 33rd and get some breakfast? I hear the Delaware chapter found a stash of root beer."

"Root beer!" They almost trampled each other as they galloped off.

"I got it," Thalia snapped her fingers, "they argue over which brand is better and that's why they all have to live separately!"

"How many brands of root beer are there?" Percy asked blankly.

"3,192," Alex said without hesitation.

There was a long pause before nobody decided to ask how serious that answer was.

Chiron smiled. Annabeth gave him a big hug, and Mrs. O'Leary licked his face.

"Ack," he grumbled. "Enough of that, dog. Yes, I'm glad to see you too."

"Chiron, thanks," I said. "Talk about saving the day."

He shrugged.

Nico smacked the side of his head. "I finally figured out where you got it from!"

"Yeah Nico, after the second time you've saved the world, it is kind of not a big deal," Percy shrugged.

Nico wouldn't know. He'd only kind of helped once.

"I'm sorry it took so long. Centaurs travel fast, as you know. We can bend distance as we ride. Even so, getting all the centaurs together was no easy task. The Party Ponies are not exactly organized."

"Noooo, say it ain't so!" Magnus chuckled.

"I mean, they're about as organized as Percy's camp, aka being held together by an awesome speech and the thrill of surprise attacks," Alex nodded. "I think it works."

Percy kind of wanted to be offended, but like, she wasn't wrong.

Percy kind of wanted to be offended, but like, she wasn't wrong.

"And a sense of family, loyalty, duty?" Annabeth prompted with a frown.

"Don't forget the duct tape," Thalia chuckled as Will hid his wince. Maybe Annabeth wouldn't admit they'd been fighting family amidst those monsters, but he didn't forget.

"How'd you get through the magic defenses around the city?" Annabeth asked.

"They slowed us down a bit," Chiron admitted, "but I think they're intended mostly to keep mortals out. Kronos doesn't want puny humans getting in the way of his great victory."

"So maybe other reinforcements can get through," I said hopefully.

"What other reinforcements are there?" Jason asked critically. He didn't mean to sound so sharp, but he did all the same. There was an electric storm still simmering in his brain that felt like it was zapping every part of him from the inside if he tried to concentrate on any blurry idea to long and it was giving him a serious headache.

Chiron stroked his beard. "Perhaps, though time is short. As soon as Kronos regroups, he will attack again. Without the element of surprise on our side . . ."

I understood what he meant. Kronos wasn't beaten. Not by a long shot. I half hoped Kronos had been squashed under that Hyperborean giant's butt, but I knew better. He'd be back, tonight at the latest.

"Well there goes my master plan," Alex sighed. "All those years of practice training that guy to squash things with his ass, wasted."

"Have no fears Alex, you'll move onto your next passion project soon," Magnus said with complete confidence.

"Yeah," she agreed with a longing sigh all the same.

"And Typhon?" I asked.

Chiron's face darkened. "The gods are tiring. Dionysus was incapacitated yesterday. Typhon smashed his chariot, and the wine god went down somewhere in the Appalachians.

Nico spluttered on a painful sounding laugh. "Even Chiron calls him the wine dude?"

"The wine god," Will corrected in a posh voice. "And I'm sure Mr. D's threatened to turn him into a table a few times for it."

No one has seen him since. Hephaestus is out of action as well. He was thrown from the battle so hard he created a new lake in West Virginia.

"I really hope some mortal thinks that's an asteroid bringing the dinosaurs back," Percy laughed.

"Percy, no," but Annabeth stopped with a sigh and let him have his fun.

He will heal, but not soon enough to help. The others still fight. They've managed to slow Typhon's approach. But the monster can not be stopped. He will arrive in New York by this time tomorrow. Once he and Kronos combine forces—"

That's all they'd been hearing of this problem from the start, and it somehow just got worse every time they heard it. Even if, beyond all hope, Percy had somehow stopped Kronos with one stupid decision, how the heck had that been stopped?!

"Then what chance do we have?" I said. "We can't hold out another day."

"We'll have to," Thalia said. "I'll see about setting some new traps around the perimeter."

She looked exhausted. Her jacket was smeared in grime and monster dust, but she managed to get to her feet and stagger off.

Annabeth had watched her go with such a tight pain in her throat she wondered if she'd accidentally swallowed some monster dust. Thalia hadn't even glanced back at her. She'd gone off to do her next task with the stoic, stiff shoulders of Luke watching them fall asleep and promising to get more firewood.

"I will help her," Chiron decided. "I should make sure my brethren don't go too overboard with the root beer."

"No such thing as too much fun," Alex huffed.

"I'd believe you'd find it even before the Party Ponies," Annabeth agreed.

I thought "too overboard" pretty much summed up the Party Ponies, but Chiron cantered off, leaving Annabeth and me alone.

"That was strategic," Annabeth huffed how unsubtle he was. She owed him a good nerf arrow.

"I know right, he just got there and he's already running off again," Percy huffed with a frown what on earth he meant by it. He would have thought Chiron would want to stay and chat for more of an update.

She cleaned the monster slime off her knife. I'd seen her do that hundreds of times, but I'd never thought about why she cared so much about the blade.

"Not really something I ever would have questioned," Alex shrugged. "I notice you never clean your blade Percy. Just because it's magic doesn't mean it might not like a good polish every once in a while."

Percy rubbed awkwardly at his nose and had nothing to say to that.

Jason suddenly felt the strong smell of polish in his nose and had an odd deja vu moment of being in an armory doing just this and smiled. He turned eagerly to Nico and asked, "how do you polish your sword?"

Nico grinned and started talking about more deadly rivers that could probably do worse to you than wipe your memory or kill you, like put gravel in your shoes or something worse, but Percy was distracted from listening by still watching Annabeth until someone shut the pair up.

She'd spent the entire time fiddling nervously with her hair, a long lost look in her eyes. He finally let the impulse win and traced the side of her neck with a question in his eyes. What the hell had she been through while he'd been away?

Annabeth caught his fingers and smiled but shook her head. Not now. That was okay. He'd wait as long as she needed.

"At least your mom is okay," I offered.

"If you call fighting Typhon okay." She locked eyes with me. "Percy, even with the centaurs' help, I'm starting to think—"

"I know." I had a bad feeling this might be our last chance to talk, and I felt like there were a million things I hadn't told her.

Athena, her stoic, absent mother, was far from her highest concern, Annabeth shook her head. Though of course her brain had been able to process plenty of concern all around. Chiron darting in and out and around everyone while sparing her a smile first had been that way since she'd arrived. Her dad was on the other side of the country, safe away from the monsters, from her.

It had been Percy she'd wanted, and him who had stayed right there.

"Listen, there were some . . . some visions Hestia showed me."

"You mean about Luke?"

Maybe it was just a safe guess, but I got the feeling Annabeth knew what I'd been holding back.

"I always just assume Annabeth can read your mind and has just been politely not informing you," Magnus nodded.

"That's not polite," Percy frowned.

"Um, or possible," Annabeth gave them a strange look.

"Right, that too," Percy waved off.

Maybe she'd been having dreams of her own.

"She's been having dreams about your dreams?" Will asked excitedly. "Dreamception?"

"This is somebody's nightmare around here," Nico rolled his eyes.

"Yeah," I said. "You and Thalia and Luke. The first time you met. And the time you met Hermes."

Annabeth slipped her knife back into its sheath. "Luke promised he'd never let me get hurt. He said ... he said we'd be a new family, and it would turn out better than his."

"Which, isn't going well," Magnus said in the kindest, most respectful voice anyone could make that sound.

"Right on the money," Annabeth nodded slowly as she leaned back into Percy's side, fingers still linked together. She really didn't know what she'd do without him in all this.

Her eyes reminded me of that seven-year-old girl's in the alley—angry, scared, desperate for a friend.

Thalia bit back a miserable sigh at how much she'd failed her too. Never on purpose, but enough that she wasn't in this moment and felt every hammer swing she deserved for it in the heart.

Annabeth sighed and gave her a good hard nudge with her foot. She wasn't going to let Thalia keep blaming herself for all that happened since then. There was enough to go around.

"That I can't face Luke," she said miserably.

"Hey, look how well you know me though," Thalia said with a genuine smile.

"Yes, your faith in me is everything," Annabeth said with a sad, sarcastic smile.

Thalia tipped her head and looked back at the book with the unsettling feeling this was about to get worse.

I nodded. "But there's something else you should know. Ethan Nakamura seemed to think Luke was still alive inside his body, maybe even fighting Kronos for control."

Annabeth tried to hide it, but I could almost see her mind working on the possibilities, maybe starting to hope.

Thalia let out a puff of breath and looked into her miserable eyes. "I'm not happy to be right you know."

"Well that's always good to know," Annabeth nodded as the two watched each other for a few moments before looking away.

"I didn't want to tell you," I admitted.

"But you did," Annabeth said in relief, just for him. He kissed her temple and couldn't think of anything else to say, but it was more than enough for her.

She looked up at the Empire State Building. "Percy, for so much of my life, I felt like everything was changing, all the time. I didn't have anyone I could rely on."

I nodded. That was something most demigods could understand.

'Most, but not him,' Will shook his head. He'd wondered a lot during this if Percy really knew how good he had it, the best of both worlds in his parents, all three of them.

"I ran away when I was seven," she said. "Then with Luke and Thalia, I thought I'd found a family, but it fell apart almost immediately. What I'm saying . . . I hate it when people let me down, when things are temporary. I think that's why I want to be an architect."

"To build something permanent," I said. "A monument to last a thousand years."

She held my eyes. "I guess that sounds like my fatal flaw again."

Most everyone around Camp knew that that was 'her thing.' Her go to if someone had a project, her specialty. Someone who was even paying attention could probably even piece together that was her fatal flaw.

Percy was still the only one she ever talked about this with. The one who made her feel like she could tell him anything and he'd never judge her for it. He'd shared his mortal spot with her. How could she ever be afraid to share anything with him?

Years ago in the Sea of Monsters, Annabeth had told me her biggest flaw was pride—thinking she could fix anything. I'd even seen a glimpse of her deepest desire, shown to her by the Sirens' magic.

Annabeth had imagined her mother and father together, standing in front of a newly rebuilt Manhattan, designed by Annabeth. And Luke had been there too—good again, welcoming her home.

"I guess I understand how you feel," I said.

"Liar," Annabeth chuckled.

"Yeah," Percy agreed. He knew he'd never understand every part of her, but he did try.

"But Thalia's right. Luke has already betrayed you so many times. He was evil even before Kronos. I don't want him to hurt you anymore."

Annabeth pursed her lips. I could tell she was trying not to get mad.

"And that was going so well," Jason said in surprise. She hadn't even pulled her knife back out.

"Yeah, first time for everything," Percy agreed in surprise.

"And you'll understand if I keep hoping there's a chance you're wrong."

I looked away. I felt like I'd done my best, but that didn't make me feel any better.

Annabeth struggled to swallow as his hand held hers tight enough to never let go. Gods this somehow kept feeling worse the longer they were dragged over each letter.

Across the street, the Apollo campers had set up a field hospital to tend the wounded—dozens of campers and almost as many Hunters. I was watching the medics work, and thinking about our slim chances for holding Mount Olympus. . . .

And suddenly: I wasn't there anymore.

I was standing in a long dingy bar with black walls, neon signs, and a bunch of partying adults. A banner across the bar read HAPPY BIRTHDAY, BOBBY EARL. Country music played on the speakers.

"Friends in Low Places?" Magnus nodded without surprise. It was barely even a shock to his system Percy had just been yanked out of his own head to deal with another gods mess.

"Does any other country song exist?" Percy chuckled.

Will opened his mouth with a pained look at the pair before closing it slowly, knowing that rant would fall on deaf ears.

Big guys in jeans and work shirts crowded the bar. Waitresses carried trays of drinks and shouted at each other. It was pretty much exactly the kind of place my mom would never let me go.

"In public?" Thalia said in understanding.

"Places where alcohol and those outfits are in one room," Percy huffed. "Mostly the alcohol!"

"We need to get him drunk one of these days, just to see if it'll finally be the thing to piss of Sally," Thalia rolled her eyes.

Somebody was clearly in a terrible mood. "Pass," Percy said at once. The stench reminded him of Gabe without even bothering to indulge the other stupid part of that.

I was stuck in the very back of the room, next to the bathrooms (which didn't smell so great) and a couple of antique arcade games.

"Oh good, you're here," said the man at the Pac-Man machine. "I'll have a Diet Coke."

He was a pudgy guy in a leopard-skin Hawaiian shirt, purple shorts, red running shoes, and black socks, which didn't exactly make him blend in with the crowd. His nose was bright red. A bandage was wrapped around his curly black hair like he was recovering from a concussion.

"So he blended right in like a sore thumb," Nico said, blinking spastically at the setting.

"Accurate," Percy nodded.

I blinked. "Mr. D?"

He sighed, not taking his eyes from the game. "Really, Peter Johnson, how long will it take for you to recognize me on sight?"

"About the same time as when he gets his halo," Alex rolled her eyes.

"About as long as it'll take for you to figure out my name," I muttered.

"Oh, so much never!" Magnus laughed, clasping his hands together in mock praise.

"An infinite amount of never, that's the answer to some riddle out there," Percy laughed along.

"Where are we?"

"Why, Bobby Earl's birthday party," Dionysus said. "Somewhere in lovely rural America."

"It's not a very lost Lestragonian is it?" Nico asked, vividly remembering their names had a similar ring.

"Don't stereotype Nico, lots of normal people have names like Earl, and they're just your everyday pieces of crap," Will rolled his eyes hard. If they were going to make jokes about the South he might as well get his digs in with another classic country song coming to mind.

"I thought Typhon swatted you out of the sky. They said you crash-landed."

"Yes, but Chiron never said where," Jason agreed. "Why wouldn't he land in a bar? Makes sense to me. Bars have wine."

"They're not magnetically drawn to their domain when they crash land," Annabeth sighed.

"Yeah, but I bet you anything if Hepahsuts had drawn me in for a one-on-one, I'd find myself in a very tiny tool shed with him throwing saws around and complaining about their dullness matching mine," Percy sighed.

"Your concern is touching. I did crash-land. Very painfully. In fact, part of me is still buried under a hundred feet of rubble in an abandoned coal mine.

"Huh," Percy and Jason said together with interest they'd been wrong.

Annabeth just smiled and rolled her eyes at these idiots.

It will be several more hours before I have enough strength to mend. But in the meantime, part of my consciousness is here."

"At a bar, playing Pac-Man."

"You sound a tad jealous," Alex chuckled.

"Eh, I prefer Street Fighter eating my quarters," Percy shrugged. There was a retro arcade not far from one of his favorite movie places he didn't get to visit enough, but his high score was still in the top ten.

"Party time," Dionysus said. "Surely you've heard of it. Wherever there is a party, my presence is invoked.

Percy yelped and covered his ears at the idea of such a future pain in his ass. "I take it all back! Alex and anyone else is forbidden from ever throwing me a party!"

"Awww, come on Perce, I promise to keep him in the back with an arcade machine," Alex looked like a kicked puppy.

Percy's heart instantly crumbled. "Yeah, well, fine, but nobody had better involve singing."

"Deal," she instantly agreed. She winked at Will though when he looked away, who instantly grinned back.

Because of this, I can exist in many different places at once. The only problem was finding a party. I don't know if you're aware how serious things are outside your safe little bubble of New York—"

"Safe little bubble?"

"Come on Percy, you'd know this was a trap if he wasn't delusional on all that partying," Thalia shook her head at him.

"Yeah, yeah, one thing is normal in this crazy world," Percy huffed.

"—but believe me, the mortals out here in the heartland are panicking. Typhon has terrified them. Very few are throwing parties. Apparently Bobby Earl and his friends, bless them, are a little slow. They haven't yet figured out that the world is ending."

"Don't know what he's on about, sounds like the perfect time to throw a party," Alex chuckled.

"Yeah, that tracks," Jason nodded without surprise.

"So . . . I'm not really here?"

Magnus couldn't even be upset and surprised that Percy had legitimately thought he'd just been yanked off the street like that. Considering where he'd woken up without memories. It really wasn't that far-fetched.

"No. In a moment I'll send you back to your normal insignificant life, and it will be as if nothing had happened."

"Yes please," Percy sighed. He might even be grateful for a memory wipe!

...unless Dionysus had gone to far. That actually seemed likely.

"And why did you bring me here?"

Dionysus snorted. "Oh, I didn't want you particularly. Any of you silly heroes would do. That Annie girl—"

"Annabeth."

"The point is," he said, "I pulled you into party time to deliver a warning. We are in danger."

There was another long, awkward pause where even Alex looked disconcerted because she hadn't caused it this time.

"As opposed to?" Percy finally asked into the silence.

"Um, Norwegia? Do they have anything bad going on right now?" Nico finally answered.

"To hell if I know!" Percy threw his hands up, long overdone with these gods making no sense and expecting him to keep up.

"Gee," I said. "Never would've figured that out. Thanks."

"Can't say he never helped guide you," Will chuckled.

"Yes I can," Percy huffed.

"It would just be a lie?" Will tried in vain.

"No Will, I know full well when I'm lying," Percy smirked.

He glared at me and momentarily forgot his game. Pac-Man got eaten by the red ghost dude.

"Erre es korakas, Blinky!" Dionysus cursed. "I will have your soul!"

"Appropriate reaction to be honest," Jason nodded.

"Competitive streak, locked and loaded," Percy pointed at him accusingly.

"I, well maybe, I don't know," Jason frowned before he shrugged and decided against arguing the point. He had a strange feeling he'd once strangled someone with a controller, but he wasn't sure if it was a monster or not and that was kind of bothersome.

"Was nobody going to translate that awesome Greek cuss so I know what I'm saying when I use it?" Alex pouted.

"He said go to the crows too," Nico offered with the same helpful smile as the first time.

"Oh, I see, now I know where she got it from," Alex grinned at Annabeth, who didn't bother to look embarrassed as she shrugged.

"Um, he's a video game character," I said.

"That's no excuse! And you're ruining my game, Jorgenson!"

"Jackson."

"Whichever!

"No, no, Percy Jorgenson should very much be discussed more. What's his life like?" Magnus chuckled.

"Going to Giants games, living his best life I assume," Percy sighed.

Now listen, the situation is graver than you imagine. If Olympus falls, not only will the gods fade, but everything that is connected to our legacy will also begin to unravel. The very fabric of your puny little civilization—"

The game played a song and Mr. D progressed to level 254.

"Ha!" he shouted. "Take that, you pixelated fiends!"

"Um, fabric of civilization," I prompted.

"And Pac-Man is a part of that, gosh Percy, let the man prioritize his way," Jason grinned.

"I'll set Blinky on you, don't test me," Percy promised.

"Yes, yes. Your entire society will dissolve. Perhaps not right away, but mark my words, the chaos of the Titans will mean the end of Western civilization. Art, law, wine tastings, music, video games, silk shirts, black velvet paintings—all the things that make life worth living will disappear!"

"This is not news," Thalia frowned as she looked from the book to Percy. "He didn't really think you were tempted by Prometheus did he?"

Percy shivered, something tight lodged in his throat. He couldn't breathe for several moments as his head swam, that stupid jar leaping to mind strapped into the backseat of a car-

Annabeth put her arm around his shoulders. She held him close as he leaned into her for the stability he desperately needed right now as his head swam without the rest of him.

She ran her fingers gently through his hair until his breathing labored into something more even and Alex kept going without question.

"So why aren't the gods rushing back to help us?" I said. "We should combine forces at Olympus. Forget Typhon."

He snapped his fingers impatiently. "You forgot my Diet Coke."

"Gods, you're annoying." I got the attention of a waitress and ordered the stupid soda. I put it on Bobby Earl's tab.

"Is that illegal?" Magnus frowned. "It feels like that should be illegal."

"I honestly don't think anyone here knows," Will admitted. None of them were exactly law-abiding citizens on the regular.

"Fair enough," he nodded.

Mr. D took a good long drink. His eyes never left the video game. "The truth is, Pierre—"

"Percy."

"Posey," Thalia offered with a smirk at Percy, who groaned in dismay. He just knew she'd find a way to tell his dad he'd once accidentally called him that.

"Nah, got to give him one thing, he's never called Percy a Polly," Alex said in delight. "I was thinking Peitro though, or Picholo."

"I'm so glad I wasn't named after an instrument," Percy frowned and knew he owed his mother yet another thanks in his life.

"—the other gods would never admit this, but we actually need you mortals to rescue Olympus. You see, we are manifestations of your culture. If you don't care enough to save Olympus yourselves—"

"Like Pan," I said, "depending on the satyrs to save the Wild."

"Yes, quite. I will deny I ever said this, of course, but the gods need heroes. They always have. Otherwise we would not keep you annoying little brats around."

"I feel so wanted. Thanks."

"You really should," Annabeth was blinking at him like a new riddle to solve. "I don't think he's ever said that out loud. You must have done something during the battle to really get his attention Percy." Short of creating an ocean of Diet Coke, she couldn't think what he'd done to earn this audience.

Percy realized he hadn't yet mentioned the bit where Dionysus had pulled him aside and basically told him he'd cured Chirs and he was sad his son was dead. It was one of those things he was used to the others all knowing. He'd kind of become Mr. D's fall guy for the entire camp after that he supposed. The good and the bad.

"Use the training I have given you at camp."

"What training?"

"You know. All those hero techniques and . . . No!" Mr. D slapped the game console. "Na pari i eychi! The last level!"

"And that means?" Alex asked eagerly, this time looking around at Nico expectantly.

Nico grinned in a way that already made Will blush before he said, "that one's something more in line with what Will would call Hera."

"Ah, fantastic update, thank you," she chuckled while Will sighed without much regret that was never going to die.

He looked at me, and purple fire flickered in his eyes. "As I recall, I once predicted you would turn out to be as selfish as all the other human heroes. Well, here is your chance to prove me wrong."

"Yeah, making you proud is real high on my list."

"Like, right up there with getting kissed by an empousa," Thalia said in a really good simpering act.

Percy high fived her in agreement and Annabeth really kept telling herself she should move so they'd stop doing that across her face.

"You must save Olympus, Pedro!

"Remind me to send Pedro a thank you gift," Percy rolled his eyes.

"Sounds like you might have to learn some Spanish, personally I'd just take credit for it," Jason shrugged.

Leave Typhon to the Olympians and save our own seats of power. It must be done!"

"Great. Nice little chat. Now, if you don't mind, my friends will be wondering—"

"There is more," Mr. D warned.

"Oh thank gods," Magnus clutched at his shirt over his heart. "This just wasn't dire enough yet!"

Alex patted his shoulder and knew in that moment he'd love a good theater camp.

"Kronos has not yet attained full power. The body of the mortal was only a temporary measure."

Annabeth licked her suddenly dry lips as her eyes darted around like she expected to find an angry mob with pitchforks appearing out of nowhere. It made no rational explanation, she kept trying to scold herself, but that did no good. She half expected them all to laugh at her, to throw in her face they'd known all along that Luke was just a pawn, a means to an end, and he'd deserved this.

None did, and she started feeling dizzy with her own relief until Percy put his arm around her in turn until she caught her breath and her eyes stopped burning so bad. Gods she missed Luke so much.

"We kind of guessed that."

"And did you also guess that within a day at most, Kronos will burn away that mortal body and take on the true form of a Titan king?"

"And that would mean . . ."

Dionysus inserted another quarter. "You know about the true forms of the gods."

"Yeah. You can't look at them without burning up."

"Kronos would be ten times more powerful. His very presence would incinerate you. And once he achieves this, he will empower the other Titans. They are weak now, compared to what they will soon become, unless you can stop them. The world will fall, the gods will die, and I will never achieve a perfect score on this stupid machine."

Alex read all of that without to much surprise. It really was a constant case of, 'how could this get any worse?' and then she got her answer and just moved on. It had kind of been the track record of her whole life anyways.

Nobody was really up for arguing the point with her. It's not like it was new information anymore than, 'Percy needed to save the world or we'd all be dead.'

Maybe I should've been terrified, but honestly, I was already about as scared as I could get.

Jason mock rummaged around in his pockets. "Hang on, I have a meter I need to check for that."

"Where haven't I threatened to shove that yet?" Percy tapped his chin, before he snapped his fingers. "Ah, into your belly button!"

Jason theatrically covered his stomach with a horrified expression and the two idiots chuckled for a moment while Thalia and Annabeth exchanged bemused looks.

"Can I go now?" I asked.

"One last thing. My son Pollux. Is he alive?"

Alex really hated herself for the emotion that gripped her voice. That her mind flashed to her father for just a second, then Loki, before she slammed her fist into an already destroyed washing machine in her mind that made something fall out with a clunk to scatter those stupid images away. She knew what she was telling herself, it wasn't denial, it was just anger it wouldn't go away.

I blinked. "Yeah, last I saw him."

"I would very much appreciate it if you could keep him that way. I lost his brother Castor last year—"

"I remember." I stared at him, trying to wrap my mind around the idea that Dionysus could be a caring father. I wondered how many other Olympians were thinking about their demigod children right now.

Will caught Percy's eye and held it to let him know he wasn't alone. That he'd really felt that, been thinking it too. He'd wondered how useless his prayers were while sending them to his dad. The fact that Mr. D even bothered to pull one camper aside to check in, in his own way, really made him believe for a moment that even if he hadn't gotten an answer, his prayers had been heard.

Or that Pollux hadn't been making any.

And he wasn't sure which it was.

"I'll do my best."

Magnus heard that as, when he went to visit his cousin there, he should expect to see a pudgy blonde kid chilling at a cabin alone. The one with grapevines all over it probably. Percy's best wasn't always the solution to everyone coming out alive, but it was as close as he'd ever expect.

"Your best," Dionysus muttered. "Well, isn't that reassuring. Go now. You have some nasty surprises to deal with, and I must defeat Blinky!"

"Nasty surprises?"

He waved his hand, and the bar disappeared.

"Would the gods stop doing at least that," Percy heard it in his own voice, tried to reign in the reverberating power that could easily topple the room they were in, but man was it heard. "If they know something helpful, next time start with that!"

It took every bit of his concentration not to form his hands into fists and draw Riptide and figure out how to go back to his subconscious or whatever and at least break that stupid machine!

"I don't think their brains are exactly linear like ours Percy," Annabeth reminded patiently.

"Then I'm going to start the conversation by setting three alarms so they think they're running out of time and actually tell me this stuff while the first two to go off! The third one's because I'm positive I'll actually want them to stop talking by then," Percy sighed.

"Good plan. Hope it works out for you," Annabeth sighed right with him at whatever god he decided to test this theory on.

I was back on Fifth Avenue. Annabeth hadn't moved. She didn't give any sign that I'd been gone or anything.

She caught me staring and frowned. "What?"

"Um . . . nothing, I guess."

"That really was nothing to you too," Magnus sighed. Just another day in the life of Percy Jackson, being dragged across the country only in his head to have a conversation with the wine dude who also wasn't really there!

"I know the important things in my life," Percy grinned.

I gazed down the avenue, wondering what Mr. D had meant by nasty surprises. How much worse could it get?

Magnus felt the urge to cover his eyes and whimper pre-monster arrival. Just to get it out of the way now.

My eyes rested on a beat-up blue car. The hood was badly dented, like somebody had tried to hammer out some huge craters. My skin tingled. Why did that car look so familiar? Then I realized it was a Prius.

Paul's Prius.

With every new descriptor Alex's voice had gotten a little quieter, a little more shaken. This wasn't her spooky, telling ghost stories over a fire voice where she tried to make herself sound scared to up the mood. She was legitimately upset at realizing Percy's parents could be hurt much more than some dents in the hood of a car, and Percy was as touched as he suddenly was panicked. It was a very strange feeling that stole his spurt of action but left him feeling sick with the need to do something.

I bolted down the street.

"Percy!" Annabeth called. "Where are you going?"

Paul was passed out in the driver's seat. My mom was snoring beside him. My mind felt like mush.

The fact that she was asleep was of interest to note to those not in the know, but not enough to do more than exchange surprised looks.

Rachel was on her way there, and she'd be asleep for whatever message she wanted to deliver. That was yet another disaster on the horizon while he was processing this one with his face an entire mask of pain.

How had I not seen them before? They'd been sitting here in traffic for over a day, the battle raging around them, and I hadn't even noticed.

"We don't come with built in radars Percy," Annabeth gently reminded as they held each other's hands so tight. "I've tested."

Percy gave her a shaky smile, his mind a complete mess he expected to collapse any second. They'd possibly have to start this all over again and build himself back from the ground up. But she kept smiling back and didn't let go, so that was okay.

"They . . . they must've seen those blue lights in the sky." I rattled the doors but they were locked. "I need to get them out."

"Percy," Annabeth said gently.

"I can't leave them here!" I sounded a little crazy. I pounded on the windshield. "I have to move them. I have to—"

"Percy, just . . . just hold on." Annabeth waved to Chiron, who was talking to some centaurs down the block. "We can push the car to a side street, all right? They're going to be fine."

My hands trembled. After all I'd been through over the last few days, I felt so stupid and weak, but the sight of my parents made me want to break down.

Percy had been scared plenty of times over the course of this, but it was usually coupled in with adrenaline and determination and anger. The kind of grit that made him defeat the next monster, gave him the strength to know that even if he hadn't saved everyone from his past at least he'd never forget them again and try not to make the same mistakes.

This is how Kronos could have defeated him all along, he could feel it in his bones. Yet mortals were beneath his notice, and so she'd sat by untouched but always there at the heart of all this.

Chiron galloped over. "What's . . . Oh dear. I see."

"They were coming to find me," I said. "My mom must've sensed something was wrong."

"Most likely," Chiron said. "But, Percy, they will be fine. The best thing we can do for them is stay focused on our job."

Then I noticed something in the backseat of the Prius, and my heart skipped a beat. Seat-belted behind my mother was a black-and-white Greek jar about three feet tall. Its lid was wrapped in a leather harness.

Percy glowered at the book in the kind of way that made Alex confident he wanted to throw the book in her hands out of the ocean and possibly her along with it if she held on to tight. She ignored it best she could and relied on Annabeth and Thalia to remind him why that was a bad idea. She'd actually never done something like that before, but hey, first time for everything.

"No way," I muttered.

Annabeth pressed her hand to the window. "That's impossible! I thought you left that at the Plaza."

"Locked in a vault," I agreed.

"How do you put something in a vault wrong Thalia?" Jason decided not to let that moment pass without a tease.

"When Percy's involved," she said with a straight face. "It was his magic item and he set me up to fail."

"I'm sure you deserve it for something," but Percy was so jittery he couldn't think straight, couldn't think up one instance over the past where she'd messed with him. All his mind could latch onto was his mom, dropping him off at another new school with another hopeful smile, the songs she'd hum while she was baking, the dark circles under her eyes and the sense of joy radiating off of her for a good night's work. Gods he'd be lost without her.

Chiron saw the jar and his eyes widened. "That isn't— "

"Pandora's jar." I told him about my meeting with Prometheus.

"I thought it was a pithos?" Jason felt the strain in the room and strived to do what Percy did best, give a little levity to it. "You told him about Prometheus giving you Pandora's Pithos Percy, remember how pithy that sounded?"

Maybe word play wasn't everyone's cup of tea in amusement, but he at least got a few smiles and eye rolls for his attempt, which made all the world to him to feel like he hadn't failed.

"Then the jar is yours," Chiron said grimly. "It will follow you and tempt you to open it, no matter where you leave it. It will appear when you are weakest."

"Forever?" Magnus frowned. "Like you have a new Riptide? Man, talk about something in serious need of a regift."

Percy had the brief thought that he should give it to Rachel. She'd probably paint over it and make it look more fun and tempting to open, but she'd also been dealing with hopeless situations with much more style than he'd ever have so she just seemed the obvious choice.

He got a pained spike to his brain for the thought and his eyes flickered to Annabeth with guilt instantly so he decided not to voice any of that.

Like now, I thought. Looking at my helpless parents.

I imagined Prometheus smiling, so anxious to help out us poor mortals. Give up Hope, and I will know that you are surrendering. I promise Kronos will be lenient.

Anger surged through me. I drew Riptide and cut through the driver's side window like it was made of plastic wrap.

Alex grinned at all the mayhem Percy's sword could cause he didn't indulge in nearly enough. "Did it have that smooth feeling like when scissors glide through wrapping paper?"

"Yeah, actually," Percy's smile was a tad diabolical and Annabeth swallowed in horror how many cars were going to be broken into when those two teamed up.

"We'll put the car in neutral," I said. "Push them out of the way. And take that stupid jar to Olympus."

Chiron nodded. "A good plan. But, Percy . . ."

Whatever he was going to say, he faltered. A mechanical drumbeat grew loud in the distance—the chop-chop-chop of a helicopter.

Rachel's insane deal to go to a finishing school all so she could have a chat with Percy hadn't been mentioned in a few hours, what with the constant battles and deaths and centaurs appearing, but boy did they not get a choice now but to think of all the problems, implications, and disasters that were about to happen!

On a normal Monday morning in New York, this would've been no big deal, but after two days of silence, a mortal helicopter was the oddest thing I'd ever heard.

He'd felt it in his chest, the reverberating machine that disrupted his world overtaking the rest. The ground hadn't actually been shaking, but he'd been so loopy from seeing his parents he wouldn't have been surprised to see drinks shaking and windows rattling like the arrival of that machine had smashed them back together.

A few blocks east, the monster army shouted and jeered as the helicopter came into view. It was a civilian model painted dark red, with a bright green "DE" logo on the side. The words under the logo were too small to read, but I knew what they said: DARE ENTERPRISES.

"Did you, ever get a ride in that Percy?" Will's voice was choppy as he strived for his usual cheerful voice but knew it sounded fake. Gods that helicopter crash had been terrifying. He wasn't sure if he'd ever be able to sit through another action movie with an explosion again without shivering at the heat and noise.

My throat closed up. I looked at Annabeth and could tell she recognized the logo too. Her face was as red as the helicopter.

Trouble and danger afoot, Nico didn't even roll his eyes in surprised annoyance this time because of course Percy looked to her first.

"What is she doing here?" Annabeth demanded. "How did she get through the barrier?"

"You're asking me?" Percy looked so wounded and confused as he sat deep in his seat.

"I'm asking her as soon as I can," her scowl was more light and playful than anything, but Percy felt like he was in trouble for some reason.

"Who?" Chiron looked confused. "What mortal would be insane enough—"

"Rachel Elizabeth Dare," Thalia answered with pride.

"Yeah, not something I'd brag about right now," but Jason couldn't help begrudgingly sounding the same. She really was something, charging into the unknown for her friend. It was as admirable as someone could be.

Suddenly the helicopter pitched forward.

"The Morpheus enchantment!" Chiron said. "The foolish mortal pilot is asleep."

I watched in horror as the helicopter careened sideways, falling toward a row of office buildings.

Even if it didn't crash, the gods of the air would probably swat it out of the sky for coming near the Empire State Building.

I was too paralyzed to move, but Annabeth whistled and Guido the pegasus swooped out of nowhere.

You rang for a handsome horse? he asked.

"Come on, Percy," Annabeth growled. "We have to save your friend."

"Well don't sound so happy about it Annabeth," Alex said with a strained smile she still tried hard to make casual. "You should be used to this by now!"

"It was Rachel's turn for this, wasn't it," Magnus groaned as he watched Percy get up to take the book. "Gods, is there a ticking clock on this? Are you guys going to have to rescue me by association?"

"Possibly," Percy said sheepishly.

Annabeth waited patiently until he got back beside her before swatting him on the back of the head with a very calculated scowl for trying to scare her cousin.

To her surprise though as Percy flipped to the next chapter as if nothing had happened, Magnus just sighed as if he were already resigned to it. He obviously knew Rachel was fine and they had rescued her. He really was taking this much better than she ever would have dreamed.

PJOPJOPJO

*This was legitimately one of the stand-out kills for me from my first reading of the series and I tried to analyze why upon this reread and I think I've narrowed it down to this reason. Instead of dust like every other monster, it's imagining the pain and anger frozen on the monster's face as he collapses to blue shards that stayed there until they melted long after the fight was over. Something about deviating away from the usual formula I guess?

[ishouldgetatumbler]

Whose your daddy? chapter 401

One of the major themes of the Kakin Succession is family.

What first began this arc was the death of Isaac Netero who, at the behest of the very wealthy, killed himself to stop the Chimera Ants. The events of the arc proceed a long a plan Isaac had set up for his son, Beyond Netero.

Beyond is the leader of a small paramilitary group currently headed by Ging. Pariston and Ging both assessed the situation immidiately, deciding that Netero's small group would be more qualified to reach their goals than aligning with the Zodiacs, hunter association and Kakin government.

In the recent chapter, we have discovered that the Netero dynasty reaches far deeper into the Kakin empire than we thought. A bodyguard of 5th prince tubeppa reveals that she is the child of beyond, cursed from birth with the explicit goal of being used in the succession war. Further, she revealed the theory that one of the princes is a half sibling of hers.

This makes sense.

The first thing to note is that Nasubi thinks of children as political tokens of value. He sorts them by number, treats them according to this rank and dehumanizes all of them, ignoring their preferences and desires. He insults Camilla based on her rank and he manipulates Halkenburg into doing his will as two examples.

The second thing to note is that he's done this before. Zhang-lei refers to Onior Longbao as his father (who is Nasubi's half brother.) If I had to guess, I would say that Nasubi offered Onior a "re-try" in the next kakin war of succession in exchange for surrendering the one they fought in, and possible offered the same deal to Brocco-li (whose son would be Luzurus).

The third thing to not is that this is somewhat similar to Camilla's plan. Camilla's plan involves "untouchables" or their equivalent, committing suicide in front of their targets to unleash a curse upon them. This similarity of methodology is interesting. Along this same line, Tsrriednich is a nen savant while his father and mother showed no notable aptitude for it. Beyond however...

Taken together, I would assert the following:

1. Tserriednich and/or Camilla is Beyond's child/children.

2. Beyond and Nasubi worked out an agreement whereby one or more of his children will be inserted into the succession contest. This is possibly in exchange for Beyond's ability to reach the Dark Continent

3. Tubeppa might be the only prince aware of Beyond's children and her first move was to ally with Tsrriednich, then Kurapika.

Below is a list of the 14 princes with who I think their real dads are. People who are dead will have no listed dad and are assumed to be Nasubi's.

1. Benjamin (Nasubi)

Given that rank correlates to influence and wealthy, Nasubi would probably prefer to give himself the top spot.

2. Camilla (Beyond or Nasubi)

Debatable: she's a skilled nen user implied by her ability which is supposedly somewhat heritable, and she has personality similarities to Beyond. Not confirmed.

3. Zhang Lei (Onior Longbao)

He says as much, and views an important part of good kingship as incorporating both the light and dark. (criminal and legal)

4. Tserriednich (Beyond or Nasubi)

This one is very hard for me to prove but the fact Tubeppa, who presumibly knows about Beyond's kids, chose to ally with him is strange to me. Especially if he doesn't like the top 3: all flaws they have, Tsrrie has worse. Also, perhaps Morena is his mother? I doubt it.

5. Tubeppa (Nasubi)

It's possible Benjamin is a bastard of the military force Nasubi relies on, meaning they had greag influence over him and were able to claim the top spot. In this case, Tubeppa is the highest ranked legitimate prince, which works with their behavior.

6. Tyson (Nasubi)

Tyson's plot is going somewhere but fuck if I know where. Tyson's religious imagery would be a really interesting contrast with Morena's.

7. Luzurus (Nasubi or Brocco-li)

If Brocco-li and Onionor longbao had the same deal, it's unusual that Luzurus should be so much lower than Onior Longbao.

8. Sale-Sale (dead)

9. Halkenburg (Nasubi)

Halkenburg is the favorite "good" prince to win. Nasubi has shown an usual amount of interest in manipulating Halkenburg to fight in the war. Sale-Sale for example did not require a stirring analogy about cars

10. Kacho (dead)

11. Fugetsu. (Nasubi]

After the death of Kacho, Nasubi is seen in a burial chamber like thing where her body is being held. My guess would be that the magic of the succession contest is fed by the lives of those lost to it.

12. Momoze (Dead)

13. Marayam (Nasubi)

The second youngest in the conflict, Marayam is tied up in the will of his mother and her paranoia. I am hoping for a parallel to be drawn between Marayam and Woble, comparing their

14. Woble (Kurapika)

[justinspoliticalcorner]

Noah Berlatsky at Everything Is Horrible:

Outgoing president Joe Biden pardoned his son, Hunter, to protect him from prosecution by a rabid and vengeful incoming President Donald Trump. In response, a lot of pundits, and a lot of Democrats, denounced the action as nepotism, or as a clear abuse of the pardon power. Colorado Governor Jared Polis insisted, “This is a bad precedent that could be abused by later Presidents and will sadly tarnish his reputation.” Senator Peter Welch of Vermont said the pardon was “unwise.” Legal journalist and Brookings fellow Benjamin Wittes argued that the pardon was “self-dealing to a family member” and that it was “wildly broad” since it immunizes Hunter for any crimes he may have committed over the course of a decade. You can argue back and forth here on the merits. But Tim Miller at the Bulwark makes a big picture argument; he worries that support for the Hunter Biden pardon is a sign of disintegrating norms and an erosion of faith in the rule of law among Democrats.

Trump was found liable for sexual assault, convicted of hush money payouts in the 2016 election, and of course led an insurrection in 2020. Nonetheless, he was reelected. Democrats, Miller says, are now following Republicans into nihilism; the Hunter pardon is Biden, and his supporters, insisting the LOL, nothing matters. Miller then makes an appeal to decency and liberal values. We have to follow the rules and demand better of ourselves than of the opposition, he argues. “There is one thing that does matter in this life. And it’s the only thing you actually control: Acting in accordance with your own integrity. In a way that lets you feel good about yourself.” That’s a stirring argument. But I think it’s one that can cut various ways. Because…does “acting in accordance with your own integrity” really have to mean putting a “kick me, fascists” sign on your face and then letting the fascists kick you? When Trump says he will use the vast powers of the presidency in unprecedented and violent ways to go after his personal enemies, do you just have so sit on your hands and say, “well, gee, that sucks, but at least I’m not dirtying myself by trying to stop him”? Or, maybe, might integrity mean refusing to let Trump roll over you?

Fight, for fuck’s sake

There are certainly some things Democrats shouldn’t do and shouldn’t countenance. Democrats should not, for example, agree to let fascists target trans people in order to get votes (not least because it won’t work). They shouldn’t let party leaders like Bob Menendez indulge in an orgy of corruption with impunity. They shouldn’t support a genocide in Gaza either. (Biden hasn’t done so well with that one.) There are lines you shouldn’t cross.

But when thinking about which norms matter, and what integrity entails, it’s also important to recognize that fascists like Trump count on the fact that liberal institutionalists are often conflict averse, and that they will sometimes even refuse to defend themselves for fear of the opinion of supposedly neutral arbiters like (say) Benjamin Wittes and Tim Miller. The most egregious example here is Merrick Garland’s decision to slow walk or stymie prosecution of Donald Trump for his 2020 coup attempt. Garland didn’t want to prosecute Trump because he feared that such a prosecution would look partisan; he delayed for two years until revelations by the January 6th commission and (I’d argue) revelations about Trump’s misuse of classified material post presidency forced him to belatedly recognize that Trump was not in fact going to disappear or stop criming. By then, it was too late, and Trump (with the help of the supine and criminal Republican party) was able to run out the clock.

Failures like this are enabled by the conventional Beltway/pundit wisdom that says that the real threat to democracy is partisanship—rather than, say, fascism. Garland (and presumably Biden in choosing a centrist equivocator for his AG) believed that you protect the Constitution by refusing to identify fascists as fascists or bad actors as bad actors. The goal is to be even-handed, and refuse to see the boot coming at your genitals. You avoid a constitutional crisis by pretending there is no constitutional crisis; as long as you pretend you can’t see them, then the emperor isn’t wearing jackboots. (Another disgusting variation on this is Congressman Jim Clyburn’s recent suggestion that Biden should pardon Trump.) Again, this approach has worked very badly. It has not protected the integrity of Garland or of Biden. It has made them look like weak fools, and it has made it look like liberal institutions are unable to handle fascism or to protect vulnerable people from fascism.

President Biden’s decision to use his pardon powers to thwart Donald Trump’s vengeance desires are smart and necessary.

[ananke-xiii]

As much as it pains me to say it (because of my visceral dislike of the BMoL storyline), “The Raid” is a good episode. So far in the season the BMoL hasn’t succeeded in recruiting any American hunter but Mary Winchester. We’re mid-season now, it’s time for The One where the BMoL seduce Sam and Dean. And Mary is the key. And Sam picks a side. And he’s wrong, of course. (in a cruel twist of fate, I’m starting to suspect I should be “grateful” to SPN writers for writing a main character who’s always so blatantly wrong. Like, without Sam (and Cas) consistently screwing things up we would have no plot and therefore no SPN, so thank you??? I guess???). Anyway, let’s see what this seduction is about.

Quick note before I continue: as per classic SPN, the ones that die.die.die are women and black people. This episode is, sadly, no exception. Billie, Benjamin, The Vampire Alpha, the “Death Siren” music producer + other extras. I mean, come.the fuck.on. Ugh.

“I’m not just a mom”.

Mary is this episode’s (well, obvs primarily this season’s) keystone. She came clean to Sam and Dean about her involvement with the BMoL in “Family Feud” and now she’s facing the consequences of her actions. Her sons (well, mostly Dean) throws her out of the bunker. Dean is pissed, Sam is… how is Sam?

Sam: Look I-I am pissed and – and frustrated and confused, too. But we've frozen her out for days.

Firstly, let me say that the use of the verb “to freeze” in relation to Mary The Fridged-Unfridged-Refridged-Character-Of-All-Time is… hilarious, not gonna lie.

Secondly, Sam is pissed, too, okay? But he’s not THAT pissed. He wants to hear her out. This is big because, so far in the season, Sam hasn’t exactly showed a propensity towards communicating with Mary. She wanted space, he gave her space. She didn’t text him, he didn’t text her. So why is Sam suddenly so interested in Mary? I think it has to do with the fact that she has clearly stated that she’s their mother but she’s not just a mom. I’ve talked about how Sam is subconsciously very VERY VERY pissed at Mary, specifically at her role as his mother. Sam is known to be able to easily compartmentalize events, things, people, feelings into what he can handle and what he can’t. He can’t handle his mother right now but he thinks he can handle Mary.

Dean calls bullshit on his excuse:

Dean: She lied to us, Sam. Sam: I know. Dean: For months. Sam: I know, but it's Mom! I mean, whatever she was doing, she must've had a good reason. Dean: A good reason? A good reason for working with those ass clowns? Sam: Look, I hear you, all right? But – but at the end of the day, she's family. We owe it to her to at least –

In “Lily Sunders has Some Regrets” Sam says something similar about Kelly and Jack: “at the end of the day it’s a mom and her kid”. I mean, this starts to sound like a mantra he tells himself in order to avoid sorting out his feelings. Of course, she had her good reasons, but can Sam accept those reasons for what they are while disagreeing with his mother and being pissed at her for making wrong decisions? Spoiler alert: Sam cannot. So, at the end of the day what can he do? He can play neutral and, again, Dean calls bullshit:

Dean: And this whole peacemaker shtick that you've been running, first with Cas, now with Mom, it's getting old, man. Sam: What's that supposed to mean? Dean: You're always playing the middle, Sam. For once, why don't you pick a side?

(And, again, it’s just hilarious that Dean’s saying this, Mr-Pick-A-Bloody-Side, lol, Bob Berens knows his references)(also, wait so is it Sam who’s stuck in the middle with them (ep12, Sam: “Mom... what the hell did you get us into”)? Oh-oh, yeah guys, Sam is very VERY VERY pissed at Mary)

Picking a side.

If it wasn’t clear, Mary is not a saint, okay? And the previous episode did show us a mother, Rowena, being cunning and evil and getting her revenge. You don’t mess with mothers in this show, cause they are not “just moms”. So Mary plays her “Sam we need to meet. It’s urgent” card and boom, Sam is baited. She didn’t send the same message to Dean, we have two clear shots of her text chats with both her sons. Mary is smart. The only good thing Ketch has ever said in the whole of SPN is that they [the BMoL] didn’t need Sam and Dean because they already had the best Winchester, i.e. Mary. He was not wrong.

So now the brothers are split and the seduction game can begin.

In order to seduce the brothers, Mick and Ketch must find out either what they want or what they need. To be fair, Ketch is better at this than Mick, Mick so completely lucks out in this episode, like he literally cannot believe that, in the end, he’s the one who’s succeeded in attracting Sam (he really, really needs to send a fruit basket to Mary for this). What do Sam and Dean want? Well, good question, let’s skip it for now. So what do they need?

Let’s start with Dean cause it’s easier and he literally tells us. He needs to hit something. Now. Oh, and he also needs drinks, plural. But, he hasn’t been able to find a case and he’s alone in the bunker with no alcohol around. (so reminiscent of s11 Crowley drinking alone vs Dean and Cas on a fake beer run, Berens did study). The magic can begin: knock knock who’s there? It’s jolly good pal Ketch with a bottle of great scotch, a nest of 10 vamps to kill and a lot of fun toys to play with. This is the perfect recipe for Dean but Ketch still fails at seducing him and we’ll see in a moment why.

On the other hand we have Sam, what does Sam need? To be honest with you, I don’t really know. Like, textually, Mary tells him three times that “he needed to know” and she successfully baits him and is able to give him her sales pitch so I guess she was right, that’s what Sam needed. And knowledge is a huge part of who Sam is, this episode in particular shows us how his knowledge is far superior than any other hunter and how it’s the only thing that saves them (well, that saves only Sam, Mary, Mick and the Hunter King of Baton Rouge ‘cause the rest of the BMoL is dead). The show is ambivalent in this regard, sometimes I think Sam wants out, sometimes I think he wants to keep hunting but in a different way, sometimes I think he’s more or less fine with his life… I mean, really, I don’t know. But the show ended with Sam getting out of the life so I must presume that Dabb’s endgame was exactly that.

Anyway, let’s go back to the seduction thing. Mick, by pure chance, manages to seduce Sam with the illusion of organization and method. Sam wants to be a part of it because he thinks they’re changing the world which is ridiculous because the audience has literally just watched how unorganized and unprepared the BMoL are. And I’m not talking about the vampire attack against the base, but we see Ketch going on a hunt certain of his intel but when he arrives at the supposedly vamp-infested motel he finds only one of them. So I think that, all in all, even if I don’t know what Sam needs I think I know what he wants and he wants power (the knowledge he has, the power he wants). He sees the results: the Alpha is dead, doesn’t matter how bad the night was, he sees it as an opportunity and he wants in.

Mick thought they had failed to “attract the, uh, top shelf of American Hunters. Like you” but he actually managed to work well with Sam, they worked in sync to kill the Alpha and that’s not something that goes unnoticed. A connection has been made between the two and Sam picks a side.

On the other hand Ketch’s seduction fails. Dean and Ketch don’t work well together, they’re not on the same page. Ketch reminds Dean that he’s a killer (“You’re a killer, Dean Winchester”, the same line Rowena uttered in “Regarding Dean”) and that they share the same “inclinations” but he’s wrong. What drives Dean is not a crazy impulse to kill but it’s family.

Dean: (to Mary) When I thought something might've happened to you, nothing else mattered. Mary: Dean, the things I said – Dean: No, Mom, you were... It's not your job to make my lunch and kiss me good night. It's – We're adults. You're gonna make your own choices, even if I don't like 'em. Even if I really, really don't like 'em. That's just something I'm gonna have to get used to. Okay, Mom?Mary: Yeah.

(I really really wanna ask: whose job is it to make you lunch and kiss you good night, Dean? 'Cause I know you've given that a thought and you might have an answer, share with the class, maybe?)

And just like that, even if this was an episode where Sam and Mary finally have some screen-time together and manage to somehow connect, we are once again reminded that Dean is the only one who’s putting in the work to establish a relationship with her and who’s willing to sort out his feelings about their frankly messed-up situation. Dean is growing up a lot, being in your late thirties changes your perspective on life, man. Ain’t nobody got time for bullshit anymore.

To the way things are supposed to be.

I love when Sam delivers his little manipulative speech and people fall for it. every.time. He’s that bitch, after all. So one thing is sure now: although Sam has picked the wrong side, he’s aware that they cannot go back to how things were, how things were supposed to be. This will be incorrect as far as the BMoL storyline is concerned (voice of the narrator: things will go back as they were, hunters and vampires, cops and robbers, a fair fight), but it’s correct in terms of Sam’s relationship with Mary: it’s a small step compared to Dean’s emotional growth this season, but Sam is also (slowly) starting to realize that they are indeed adults, Mary is indeed not just a mom and, more importantly, he doesn’t want to go back, he wants to change the world (voice of the narrator: or so he thinks, poor Sammy).

So yeah, good episode. The Mick/Sam-Ketch/Dean parallels worked really well (Ketch invading the bunker and Sam infiltrating the BMoL’s base is visually cool), the family theme smoothly underpins every dialogue, every character has changed (to varying degree) by the end of the episode and the acting was solid. Cool.

[asterrrrion]

I'm french and I'm also an Ace Attorney fan.

The thing is, I have NEVER before today interacted with the french part of this fandom, I've never even seen screenshots of the french translation before today.

And let me tell you, my shock when I learned that they changed the name of Miles Edgeworth to Benjamin Hunter

I-

Benjamin.

I have no idea how that name is perceived in English speaking countries but let me tell you : in french it does NOT send Miles Edgeworth vibes. (Could be worse : his name in Portuguese is Eduardo. I laughed over this for 30 minutes.)

Like there's no way I can buy the Apollo remaster now, how am I supposed to take him even the slightest bit seriously??

Some names are good in french, Larry to Paul is a great transition, Lotta to Eva is good and I approve of Ron being an Henri, Gaspen Payne being named Oscar makes me extremely happy, Simon to Raphaël isn't that bad of a change even if Simon is like also an actually perfectly respectable french name (weirdly enough Raphaël is starting to grow on me, seems like an edgy name now that I've finished reading Balzac).

But Vérité for Trucy ?? (Vérité literally is Truth and has never been a name in any circle ever) mean come on, Trucy sounds at least cute.

DeKiller's John Doe being transformed into Alonso Bistro feels criminal (Alonso Bistro isn't an equivalent to John Doe, it's 1) not an actual name and 2) it's literal translation is Letsgoto Thepub), and in a general way the emphasis on puns way more than in the English version kinda pisses me off. Like Dick Gumshoe is funny while actually suiting the character, Dick Tektiv is funny but less so and also the Dick part is untranslatable.

Another thing that pisses me off !! They don't actually translate names that could be translated easily ! Like Apollo is still Apollo even though he should definitely be called Apollon (to make the ridiculousness of his name actually come across), why bother translating Edgeworth's name at all if it's to give him an english surname ? Why's Pearl still Pearl if she literally could be called Perle ? Why bother translating Joe Darke into Joe Sinister dude you could've just said Joe Sinistre and it would've been ten times funnier. Why ruin April May's name by saying Masha Vril even though Avril is an actual name even if it's rare ?

Worst part is though : they changed Klavier's name to fucking Konrad. That one I'm afraid I can't forgive.

[uncannychange]

Haunt or Hoax: The Investigation Chronicles

As boys, Benjamin Payne, Henry Beaufort, and Gill West watched and laughed together at all the old “ghost hunter” programs on the Travel Channel.

Now, years later, they had gotten into their heads the idea of doing a latter-day version of that sort of thing on Patreon, only they would play it all as the foolishness it all was.

The series title was to be Haunt or Hoax: The Investigation Chronicles, with Benjamin and Henry as the stars and Gill as the cameraman, sound guy, and editor.

For their first episode, they found out about a huge, creepy old house in the North East that had been unsaleable for almost one hundred years because its original owner had been the head of some kook cult in the 1920s. They and his followers would get together and with the use of “essential salts” and some jibber jabber called up the spirits of people from the far past.

“It's just the kind of crapola that people eat up with a fork!” said Henry. Let's go!” said Benjamin and Gill, and they did.

After making arrangements and paying a fee, they were let in the indeed very creepy but still surprisingly sturdy old house, where they would be let to record for three full days and nights, especially nights.

The three entered what turned out to be a picturesquely decayed but otherwise dull empty old house.

They knocked about on the first two floors with Ben and Henry vamping and mugging for the camera as hard as they could, but knowing none of it would be impressive.

“It's a Good thing I dug up all those pictures and things from back in the 20s about the kooks that used to hang out here. I’ll just use them to spice up the footage,” said Gill. Yeah, we’re going to need something,” said Henry. This is getting rank.

Then they came to the single heavy door leading to the third floor, which the person renting them their short stay said was sealed with no key, so forget about it.

Benjamin knew how to pick locks, and so did.

There, the three found enough to be sure they had just saved Haunt or Hoax: The Investigation Chronicles.

Weird, creepy old furniture, drawings filled with symbols on the walls, and leather-bound books, along with a shelf lined with glass jars with a handwritten note saying “essential salts” and the big prize, a table on which sat a cloudy crystal ball in the middle of the room!

“Jackpot!” said Gill as Benjamin and Henry busied themselves, checking everything in the main third-floor room.

It didn’t take long for Benjamin to find a dusty old book open to a passage reading “On invoking the Salts.” while Henry found the last three jars that still had something looking like salt in them.

“How about you guys do the ritual in the book while I record? Then, when it’s over, and you give a long pause as if something might happen, you both look up and say, “We should have brought some pepper!”

“Or something,” said Benjamin. "Yeah, we’re the talent; we’ll improvise something funny,” added Henry

“Whatever,” said Gill after the light, mikes, and camera were set up. They did follow the ritual found in a book called Redeunt de Cineribus, Corpore et Anima, at the end of which the pair looked up, ready to deliver their agreed-upon punchline, only to be interrupted by the darn crystal ball lighting up, and the three little piles of salt puffing out into thick clouds of smoke and engulfed all three of them.

When the smoke cleared, Henry and Benjamin’s punchline was quickly changed to all three of them, even Gill, who was supposed to stay quiet behind the camera, shouting, “Who the hell are you?”

The “who” they were referring to were three beautiful young women dressed head to toe in what looked like authentic flapper fashion from a century before, from rolled-down silk hosiery to the latest, for 1924, bobbed hairstyles.

After the first panic, the three could establish that, yes, each of the women was, in fact, themselves: Benjamin, Henry, and Gill.

This transformation inspired them to actually read and pay attention to what was in the dusty old book they had used.

In the end, they discovered that the ritual they had performed was supposed to return the mind, body, and spirit of three party girl flappers who had died in a speakeasy fire that had happened in 1922. but because they didn’t have enough of the poor dears' essential salts, they had only been able to bring back their bodies and clothing.

“It says here that after a day and an hour, the invocation will run out, and the departed will return to the past, and the volunteers will regain their true selves.”

“Well, that’s a relief,” said Henry, who, of the three, found walking in heels and being almost a foot shorter the most difficult to deal with as her new self.

Twenty-five hours later the three found the promised “returning of their true selves” Not taking place.

Even enchanted essential salts, it seemed, had a sell-by date as they looked in a mirror and saw they were stuck.

“Well, now, what will you be improvising, talents?” Asked Gill.

The woman who had been Benjamin shrugged and said

“I don’t know, but we are pretty hot, so let's change our names to Betty Payne, Harlow Beaufort, and Gigi West and switch from Patreon to Only Fans."

And they did.

[goodwriterwithbadhabits]

Ateez Playlist: Onstage

AKA: Songs that remind me of the members and why. (GIF Credit to the original owners!)

Ateez are super different on versus offstage, so I’m splitting up their two personalities in separate posts.

Offstage Version Here. Master List

~~

Seonghwa: Big Bad Wolf- In This Moment

If I’m being honest, this song (and Seonghwa) kinda scare me. The song is gritty and dark, with rough vocals and screaming, but the lyrics are about that fucked up part of a person that everyone wants to see. Its about being both the hunter and the prey. Seonghwa is intimidating as hell on stage, which I feel this song reflects pretty well. 

Hongjoong: How You Like Me Now- The Heavy

So, this song is kinda strange lyrically, but the beat and vibe speak to the persona that Hongjoong has when he’s performing. There’s this overarching sense of cockiness throughout the song, like a “fuck you” to everyone who doubted him. Additionally, it can also be read as a sort of “look what I’ve become, do you still want me?” in regards to a lover or, in this case, a fanbase. 

Yunho: Angel With A Shotgun- The Cab

Yunho is very much a lover, but sometimes when he’s onstage, its a much darker kind of love. A very “I would burn the world to see you smile” kind of thing. Angel with a Shotgun is just so on base for Yunho, I couldn’t picture any other song. Its a love that’s definitely going to get you hurt, but damn if you wont love it. Yunho is totally a fallen angel onstage and I mean that with my whole heart. 

Yeosang: idfc- Blackbear

Babygirl Yeosang who? Up on stage he goes from cutie pie to bad bitch. He gives off a flippant “I’m so much cooler that you” vibe and I love that for him. Blackbear is such a Yeosang mood, but I feel like idfc is the most correct. Its literally about not giving a flying fuck, while still being hopelessly in love with someone. Its almost a sweet love song, but only almost. 

San: Devilish- Chase Atlantic

I know you saw this coming. Choi San is a literal demon, we don’t refer to his stage persona as “San-tiago” for no reason. This song is the sexiest deal with the devil you will ever hear. Its practically San’s anthem and honestly I don’t think I have to explain this one. Listen to the song, and you’ll understand. 

Mingi: I Will Not Bow- Breaking Benjamin

I love this song, and its message. Its dark and punk and makes me wanna punch someone. The lyrics are about leaving a mark and not going out without a fight. Mingi’s onstage person is so feral and makes me bitey. Overall, the vibe is immaculate and suits Mingi phenomenally. When he gets on that stage, all semblance of shyness or nerves vanish leaving this beautiful, confident man that I would actually punch a deity for. 

Wooyoung: Breakfast- Dove Cameron

Slutty and elegant, while being a little fruity? That’s a whole lotta words to describe Wooyoung. That being said, this song just screams him. Its cocky, its a little broody, and its literally about taking someone else’s girl. Is that not Wooyoung??? This man looks like he’s trying to charm the pants off of every audience member all the time, and lets be real it fucking works. 

Jongho: Daechwita- Agust D

Look, the whole vibe of this song is immaculate, it makes me want to get into a fight with a stranger and air out my dirty laundry with my mother.  When Jongho gets on that stage he looks ready to kill a man, and I would be right there with him. He’s confident and gorgeous and the baddest bitch to walk the planet. I want him to cover this song, I want him to rob a bank to this song. I have many more things to say about this but I’m bordering on deranged and should probably stop. 

[ducksbellorum]

Die a King (listen/download)

a jack benjamin mix - nbc kings - arranged by ducksbellorum

you should see me in a crown - billie eilish You should see me in a crown I'm gonna run this nothing town Watch me make 'em bow One by one by one

crown - camila cabello Baby on fire I see you when I close my eyes I think it's time A kingdom that is mine

dirty - grandson Do you have enough love in your heart To go and get your hands dirty? It isn't that much, but it's a good start So go and get your hands dirty

just say my name - headhunterz Say whatever you want motherfucker Just say my name, that's all I need Because, you know what? I ain't going nowhere until I've done it all

die a king - jake hill I don't wanna live forever, I just wanna die a king Soak up the rag, spark up the match Light up the night and I never look back I am the hunter, you are the monster

i am defiant - the siege Why they wanna treat me like a Kennedy They won't affect the legacy Protect the heart, I cut off the extremities I'll never be another piece in your recipe for social supremacy

king’s dead - jay rock Not your message, not your freedom Not your people, not your neighbor Not your baby, not your equal Not the title y'all want me under

me & u - madeaux Only me and you Climbing up the walls I'm just hoping they don't fall too soon Laughing like a whore

bonus: arsenal - mike dimes Hittin' my city up, I'm wearin' six Think he can sit with us, I call a blitz I smell bitch So let's get it poppin'

[adrenalinezetaax]

Pirahã and the Case for Linguistic Relativity

Pirahã is a topic that has fascinated me since I first heard about it years ago, when I was in high school. It’s a language spoken by a hunter-gatherer tribe in the Amazon that is the last surviving member of its linguistic family. This tribe was the subject of considerable interest when it was first contacted by linguists because it seemed to provide evidence for linguistic relativity—the hypothesis that language influences one’s perception of the world.

Throughout the eighties, the linguist Daniel Everett conducted research on the languages spoken in Amazon basin. He was surprised to find that one of those languages, Pirahã, had no numbers, only terms for “few” and “many.” When he tested speakers’ ability to match two quantities, he found that they performed less accurately when he hid one of those quantities from view and asked participants to recall it. Supposedly, the absence of number vocabulary compromised their ability to count as predicted by the linguistic relativity hypothesis.

Everett also made the startling claim that recursion, the ability to embed syntactic structures—at that time held to be an innate feature of language according to the theories of Noam Chomsky, was not in fact universal, using his research of Pirahã as evidence. The ensuing debate became the point of much controversy, with Chomsky calling Everett a “charlatan.” Pirahã is an outlier in several other respects as well: it also lacks color terms and according to some linguists is among the languages with the fewest phonemes (by some counts ten total), which allows speakers to communicate by whistling or humming.

If it is true that language influences how we think, then speakers of Pirahã are not unlike the fictional inhabitants of Tlön in the famous short story by Jorge Luis Borges, which imagines a language without nouns. Instead of saying “moon,” they say “to moonate,” and so on. In Borges’s story, this makes them idealists in the tradition of philosopher George Berkeley, who holds that the existence of the material world is an illusion.

However, many arguments for linguistic relativity tend to rest on misunderstandings about how language works—for example, by failing to distinguish between synthetic languages (which combine concepts into single words) and analytic ones (which separate them). A famous example is the claim that Inuit (or “Eskimo”) languages have fifty unique words for snow. This view is often attributed to Benjamin Whorf, who lends his name to the Sapir-Whorf hypothesis. The assumption is that having a larger vocabulary grants speakers access to a richer repertoire of concepts, when they have in fact only a few word roots for snow with many different suffixes, similar to compound words in English, because Inuit languages are synthetic. Likewise, that Pirahã might require more words than English to express the same concept should not preclude speakers from learning it.

The debate surrounding linguistic relativity recalls certain philosophical problems regarding the nature of translation. The philosopher Hilary Putnam devised a thought experiment: he postulated a language where the word gavagai could refer to either a rabbit or “undetached rabbit parts.” Both of these are plausible descriptions of the same object, which means that precise translation is impossible. This is relevant to the linguistic relativity hypothesis because proponents often assume that a concept only exists in a language if it can be expressed in a single word—but if any word can be decomposed into arbitrarily simpler concepts, then no word expresses a concept unique to that language.

For instance, the world mamihlapinatapai in the Yaghan language is listed in the Guinness Book of World Records as “the most succinct word.” It is often translated as “a look that without words is shared by two people who want to initiate something, but that neither will start.” Many claims have also been made of “untranslatable” words like saudade in Portuguese or poshlost in Russian. Is “snowflake” a combination of the concepts “snow” and “flake,” or is it a distinct, third concept? Resorting to what philosophers call “natural kinds,” the categories that exist out in the natural world, doesn't really resolve the issue, since it begs the question.

In Uncleftish Beholding by sci-fi author Poul Anderson, we see how the vocabulary for certain concepts might be derived in a language without native words for them. He attempts to explain atomic theory in “purist” English by avoiding French, Greek, and Latin loanwords.[1] This is no easy task, but it is possible. For example, he uses the word “waterstuff” for hydrogen (from the German wasserstoff) and “samestead” for “isotope.” This constraint yields rather inspired sentences: “elements are composed of particles called atoms” becomes “the firststuffs have their being as motes called unclefts.”[2]

While Anderson's essay is facetious, such purism is characteristic of linguistic revival projects around the world, and various scholars have attempted to institute similar proscriptions for other languages in earnest. In one striking example from 1969, Filipino linguist Gonsalo Del Rosario wrote Maugnaying Talasalitaang, a dictionary with proposed translations of numerous academic terms into Tagalog, which traditionally relied heavily on loanwords from Spanish and English.

Everett’s work remains contentious among linguists, and many scholars have rejected his claims. When it comes to Pirahã, I suspect the real explanation for the tribe’s innumeracy is cultural. Sustained isolation and a lack of agriculture would negate the need for counting, which is an acquired skill. If anything, Pirahã shows that culture determines language, rather than the other way around.

[1] In a similar vein, Randall Monroe, the creator of xkcd, wrote an encyclopedia using the thousand most common English words, underscoring the irony that some concepts become harder to understand.

[2] It goes without saying that modern English's dual inheritance is what gives the language its flavor: Borges, who spoke English fluently, noted how a sentence’s meaning shifts when one switches from the Germanic “ghost” to the Latinate “spirit.”

[2wheels1bite]

.... 'I shall not die of a cold, my son....

Then Atticus wrote

“I hope to arrive at my death

a little late…

In love

And a little drunk”

Hunter S Thompson wrote.

“Life should not be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in a pretty and well-preserved body, but rather to skid in broadside in a cloud of smoke, thoroughly used up, totally worn out, and loudly proclaiming "Wow! What a Ride!”

Then this was written

“Many people die at twenty-five and aren't buried until they are seventy-five.” By Benjamin Franklin.

And so on…

You see a theme here?

There are so many quotes from poets, authors and famous people about the one experience we are all guaranteed to share. Death!

What do most of us think about when this subject enters our mind? How have we lived? What have we left to do? What memories we leave behind in the ones that will miss us? The mistakes we’ve made.

And so, on..

Everyone who was created by the universe, God or whatever you believe created man will get dragged out and drowned by the undertow of time. You can fight it until your last breath, as you should, however it won’t stop. There is nothing quite as fair as death.

But what you should do in the meantime is taste and cherish every moment before this, holding hands, walking thru puddles, eating delicious foods, cry while watching movies, ride in subways, get lost on dirt roads, kiss on 1st dates, lay down and watch leaves drop from trees, ride motorcycles on rainy days…

And so, on

Use up your body, live till you're at least 75 and let yourself fall in love. There is one famous saying that I dislike…“You only live once” however the real truth is you only die once! You live every day!

For Willa Carter once said…” I shall not die of a cold, my son. I shall die of having lived.”

Go out there and live!

[avelera]

How wealthy is Hob Gadling?

Look, there's just so many ways to talk about how wealthy Hob would be after 600+ years alive, and obviously every fic writer is going to approach it differently according to their tastes and the story they want to write, and most likely no two takes will be the same which is the point of fandom.

In addition, we have 1689 as canonical proof that it's possible for Hob to reach the heights of prosperity only to come crashing back down to earth when history and circumstances and pure bad luck come into play.

H o w e v e r, just speaking for myself, it is inconceivable to me that by the 21st century, Hob isn't so ungodly wealthy that he no longer needs to work again, ever, and just picked up teaching as a way to stay busy. The man is walking, one man, generational wealth with the added benefit of no dispersal across multiple family branches and financial literacy to boot, along with having learned the lessons of 1689 to make him especially cautious about ever being in a position again to lose it all.

In 1789, Hob even says he's been socking money away all over the world because he's worried about the global political situation after all these revolutions, like in America and France. Hob has learned the lessons of 1689 and he's not going to get caught without an emergency fund somewhere ever again.

Even if he gave it all away after 1789 in compensation for his role in the "shipping business", in the 200+ years since all he would have to do is put some money away in a bank for safekeeping and then leave it there for a bit as he went along for him to be ungodly wealthy by today. He might need to move the money around at times to keep it in active institutions, but there are absolutely 200+ year old banks/investment vehicles (Lloyd's Banking Group has within it institutions that go back to 1695, just as an example) and so long as he stayed nominally on top of making sure he kept money scattered around and moved it before a place went under, there'd always be seed capital for him somewhere.

Did I mention one man generational wealth? At a certain point, it really would just make more sense for Hob to set up a family trust and use various shell companies to keep things anonymous. Given the man has been in business in one fashion or another on and off since the 1500s I'm going to credit him with a certain amount of financial literacy. The 1600s were truly unusual with being brought up on charges as a witch, because he would have lost everything and gone back to zero, unable to even reclaim those assets as a distant relative, because he was tried and convicted for witchcraft and his assets were almost certainly confiscated by the Crown/by greedy witch hunters.

Again, with just a little diversity of investment and where he stored his deposits, Hob should never fall back to 1600s levels again. He could literally just store some of his older, more valuable durable possessions (like jewelry) or bury a purse of gold somewhere, and know that the historical value of such coins and or items will only appreciate over time.

If he just did as Benjamin Franklin did and put in that day's value $2,000 dollars in a normal bank it would, by modern day, be worth $5,000,000 in today's money by interest alone, doing nothing else. Do that in a few dozen different banks, especially anonymous Swiss accounts or equivalent, and you don't even have to worry if most of them don't make it to modern day.

I cannot stress enough, generational wealth is usually lost because it gets dispersed across multiple children, or because the later generations are not as good with the money as the previous one. Hob does not have that problem. He isn't just generational wealth he is money savvy, dynastic wealth, he can build the same sort of wealth that noble families like the Bonaparte descendants sit on for centuries. Whether or not you think that's the moral thing is beside the point. There comes a point in truly staggering amounts of wealth where it's almost impossible to give it all away, Bezos's ex wife talked about how she made many huge donations with her billions from the settlement and it barely made a dent because of interest on that money.

Could Hob have simply lost money over the years in ill-considered ventures or given it all away? Yes, of course, and it would be very human and thus very Hob of him to do so. But given his convertible in 1989 and being the owner of the New Inn in the 21st century, to me there are more signs canonically that he has put together a pretty decent safety net at the very least all the way up to being very wealthy, we're talking low to mid double digit millions, in my opinion, at minimum, with the upper reaches possibility of very wealthy or more (triple digit millions or more) if he's done things like make good investments throughout, for example in new technology, and socked it away in Swiss accounts and set up an anonymous family trust with some use of shell companies. All of that is on the table as possibilities of the level of wealth he'd have when you factor in two hundred years of business sense and decent business practices, with a healthy dose of paranoia about losing it all again.

[ananke-xiii]

About Asa, Lily and Tasha (and Kelly).

There’s the experience of watching SPN by chronological order of the released episodes and the experience of watching it by specific writer and, as I once said, the latter is just a much better experience. I still stand by that. Incidentally, I think that this is one of the many reasons why the show went on for so long: since apparently writers rarely reached a consensus on the story and the characters’ internal coherence within a season, there’s a little bit for everyone’s tastes.

For instance, Steve Yockey’s episodes for s12 are a thing of Supernatural beauty. First of all I think Yockey was like “fuck the BMoL storyline AND I’m taking the boys out of that damn bunker” and I thank him for that. Secondly, he must have set his mind on weaving the (“bad”? “unconventional”? “simply flawed human”?) mother/(definitely absent)(surely dead) father central theme of the season with the “old” theme of human body/vessel/possession. And it’s sooooo great!

Asa Fox, Lily Sunder and Tasha Banes are the protagonists of his MoTW episodes and they’re such interesting characters! Two of them die at the very beginning of their respective episodes (the very parents of Alicia and Max, what a year for them, uh? Yockey you cruel, cruel man), while only one of them has her need fulfilled (well, more or less, although one might argue that the irony of Cas having his own son killed by God himself might be considered a sort of “karma’s a bitch” for him and a “win” for Lily).

Asa Fox is the absent father par excellence because well, he’s dead AND because we don’t know if he’s ever got to be a father or not. Jael says that Alicia and Max were too “frightened” to say that they came to say goodbye to their daddy and why would they be? Was it a secret? Lorraine didn’t know so I must assume yes. But… why? We don’t know. Lorraine is the “bad” mother who sabotaged her son’s gear and hid his gear and was generally unhappy about his son’s life choices. But Asa was also taunted by a possessive demon, Jael, who was probably in love with him (“Tell them what you took from me. Asa was mine”). Or maybe, as Lily Sunder would’ve put it, Jael was “obsessed” with him.

Now what I like about this episode is that Yockey was like: “I’ll remind you people that demons can actually be exorcised, you know? It might not always end well but hunters can and should at least fucking try”. By having Jael possess Jody (“this meatsuit you all seem to care so much about”), a beloved character, we’re reminded that possessed people are, you know, still people. Maybe dead people, though, but still, you should check, at least. And so the hunters try and succeed in exorcising the demon and all’s well that ends well (I mean, more or less, people still died but, you know, glass half full, man).

This dialogue between Sam and Mary is particularly delicious:

Mary: What are you doing?! She’s a demon. We kill demons. Sam: No, but she’s Jody.

Mary and demons… well, let’s say that I don’t exactly judge her when she forgets that demons are also possessing (possibly dead) people. But I like how her cold-bloodedness reveals the brothers’ hypocrisy (there’s something similar in this scene in s11 with Sam and Dean arguing about the vesselness (lol) of Cas).

Lily Sunder agrees with mother Mary: she kills angels. To be honest, I don’t judge her too, in her shoes I’d personally set the world on fire, but she does say “she is no threat whatsoever to humans” and she doesn’t want to hurt Sam and Dean, what with them being humans and all. Too bad that she does kill humans who are currently being possessed by angels. Oooopsie! Ishim didn’t teach her how to exorcise them, I guess (S4 was crazy for that, they established the idea that angels could be exorcised and then boom, forever forgotten).

I’m telling all this because it's Yockey’s writing that’s pointing it out. The episode starts off with Lily killing Benjamin and, a few scenes later, Cas tells this:

Cas: Benjamin is always very careful. Long ago, he found a powerfully devout vessel in Madrid, and her faith, it... she gave him everything – her trust and her body. Dean: Wait. So Benjamin's a woman. Cas: Benjamin is an angel. His vessel is a woman. But it – it's – it's more than that. She's not just his vessel. Sam: She's... She's his friend. Cas: Yeah. Benjamin would never put her in unnecessary danger.

So Lily killed Benjamin, the angel AND the “powerfully devout from Madrid” who’s first described as a vessel, a body, then as a woman, then again as “more than that/not just a vessel” and ultimately as a friend (with a romantic undertone to the word). So we GOTTA ask: when is a human being just a body? And when a vessel? Are there “vessels” and “not just [some angel’s]vessel”? And Lily Sunder, who’s a professor of Apocalyptic Literature and has sold her soul for Enochian magic surely knows that angels can be exorcised regardless of Ishim’s lessons in Angel Studies. But no, she wants to kill them, like send-them-to-The-Empty-kill them and, in so doing, I think she’s aware she’s also killing other humans in the process.

(can angels even be killed when they're not in a vessel?)

Paradoxically, this episode shows a Cas that’s very much “careless” about his “vessel-not vessel" and who's in contrast with the care his former brothers-in-arms extend to their vessels/friends. While Benjamin “wouldn't put himself in harm's way if he could help it.” and Mirabel and Ishim were not “careless” with their vessels, Cas is “impressed” that they have “kept [their]vessels all this time”. And isn’t it telling that’s Cas that uses the word “vessel” while Ishim says “but you, Castiel... I liked the old you better”? He doesn't say "your old vessel", he precisely says the "old you". Of course, Ishim's implying that Cas has changed etc, but I like when characters speak about vessels and everybody just sort of means different things.

First of all, just like Asa Fox’s death was foreshadowing Cas’death, Yockey is, again, foreshadowing Cas’ demise by the end of the season: he will be careless and he will put himself in harm’s way and he will die because of it. I used the word “paradoxically” before because Cas’ vessel is both a vessel and kind of Cas’ human (?) body. His “carelessness” cost everything to Jimmy Novak and the angel made a promise to him, twice, and yet he seems to be absolutely disconnected from corporeal reality to the point that he would easily throw himself in harm’s way without thinking. Benjamin wouldn’t do that. Hell, not even Ishim-Who-Hates-Humans would ever do that to his vessel (also, let’s bear in mind that possessed people suffer A.LOT. but also maybe let’s do like the show does and never go there again or we’ll just get ugly sad).

Going back to Lily Sunder, a character defined by her being a scholar and a mother. We don’t know anything about May’s father, but we do know that he’s NOT an angel (this is like the plot-twist of the episode). Akobel is the stand-in father/protector who, guess what? Dies! (just like Cas will die to protect his/not biologically his baby who’s also The Nephilim Of All Time after possibly Jesus himself, that depends if we consider him a Nephilim or not).

Ishim is in love with Lily (or so he thinks) but, just like Jael, he’s actually “obsessed” with her. He’s also convinced that Lily has “thrown him away" for Akobel, Akobel, who’s an angel but, we’re reminded, also a vessel (“Dispose of his vessel” Ishim says).

So what do we learn from absent/dead father/hunter Asa and vengeful/killer mother/scholar Lily's stories? Well, first of all that having a supernatural being as your stan will result in certain death, if not yours, the death of one of your loved ones. Which is a funny juxtaposition to Ishim's words: "You know why we're meant to stay away from them humans? Hmm? It's not because we're a danger to them. They're a danger to us". Second of all, angels and demons get quite possessive (haha I keep making this joke about possession I should stop) but this is not the rule, Benjamin represents the exception and, to a lesser degree, Ishim and Mirabel too. Believe it or not, angels have a vested interest in keeping their vessels alive and well, Cas is the only one who doesn't understand that and just keeps putting himself in harm's way.

What about Tasha Banes? Well, she's the one who's dealt with the "possession by another human being" card and I don't know if I can say that's the worst but yeah, it's the worst.

Tasha is a hunter, a witch and the mother of Alicia and Max. She seems like the cool mom, à la Lorelai Gilmore but we as audience are left to decide whether Alicia's anxiety is justified ("Mom usually checks in with us, but she's sort of disappeared") or if Max's right ("She did not disappear. She's busy.").

She is killed by an unnamed borrower witch who had made a deal with a demon and lost her soul as a consequence (not the same as Lily Sunder, but here we are again with the whole soul-thing). The witch wanted Tasha to take the deal upon herself, Tasha rejects it so she kills her and transforms her in a sort of creepy doll. The witch "possesses" Tasha and makes her a doll, a not-real but resembling body that acts and speaks like one. Soulless, bodyless, this Tasha creature is basically a memory.

Stripped of her sould and her body, Tasha (and later Alicia since Creature Tasha dies together with the borrower witch) is a puppet controlled by her master that will die when her master will.

She basically represents, imo, what all these anonymous meatsuits/vessels/not so much vessels/bodies are in the narrative: they're empty and unimportant unless they're contained by a powerful being or if they are loved and cared about by the hunters hunting these "things". And even the love of these hunters is not enough to spare this horrendous fate to these people: Max, a witch and a hunter, will eventually make the deal and transform Alicia into a "doll".

And I'm sorry but I cannot but think that this is not a coincidence if I think that the "doll" of s12 narrative is yet another mother, Kelly Kline, the point where the themes of motherhood and that of body/vessel/possession converge. She is THE VESSEL of the season, useful because she must give birth to the Nephilim and then easily discarded by the narrative. "Dispose of her vessel", Ishim might say of her.

Steve Yockey really understood the assignment.

Twigs and twine and Kelly Kline.

[icarus-suraki]

I love it when the Purity Police are like “Adults should never, ever, ever write about children!” Because it’s like, damn, y’all are really going full reductio ad absurdum and taking it seriously. Like, who exactly do you think writes books for children? I’m just asking. I’m just curious. For example, Beverly Cleary was 65 when Ramona Quimby, Age 8 was published. 

Presumably this also applies to any fiction work written for adults in which a child figures (for example, The Heart Is a Lonely Hunter or To Kill a Mockingbird or The Catcher in the Rye). I think a goodly portion of Pride and Prejudice is forbidden too because Kitty and Lydia aren’t 18 yet. No one in fiction can ever have a baby or raise a child because the author cannot write about that child. I read a forbidden book last year called Nothing to See Here. I’d tell you about it, but the two central characters are children.

Hey, wait: does this also apply to nonfiction? Theoretically, we can no longer read Benjamin Franklin’s Autobiography because a sizable portion of it is about his youth.

It’s like the whole “Adults have no reason to talk to anyone under 18!” declaration. I’ll just look around at my fellow adults and say “Well I’m game to finally carry out The Forbidden Experiment if y’all are.”

I also saw Goody Proctor’s minor children talking to adults at the devil’s sabbath.