#or should i post publicly? idek at this point
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Jesse on set of FBI: International / August 16, 2024
source video: jesseleesoffer instagram story 2024-08-16
#jesse lee soffer#on location#in portugal#fbi international#behind the scenes#set life#instagram#screenshots#thank you jesse for finally posting 😭#i love him so much#and it finally dawned on me to run a vid through photoshop to make screenshots duh. 119 saved pics in a couple minutes yeehaw.#btw i flipped the pics bc i'm ocd that way sorry not sorry#i'm not even posting this publicly these tags are just for my future self 👋#or should i post publicly? idek at this point#ok why not let's go#i'm just so happy to see him again finally#he looks amazing and i cannot wait to watch the show and also that chain is having an effect on me goodnight#it's not even night#goodnight
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It's always v funny when showmey0urfangs tries to reduce the show to "they're all monsters!" and "it's gothic romance!" and acts so unbothered by things when she's the one who has been burning this fandom to the ground most of all. If that wasn't trying to be morally superior to everyone then what do u call it? I post things in full context here and I can make arguments for everything I write. She's known for making Fandom PSAs of mostly black fans who were discussing the racial elements of the show, posting out of context screencaps from personal, untagged posts, and telling everyone to block them and hate on them bcuz of...shipping issues or w/e. U can find links to a few different things about her on this post.
It's always fucking crazy to me how these white fandom (a mindset, not a skin color) Anne Rice motherfuckers will always talk about these stories as if they have no familiarity with Anne Rice. I hate Anne Rice as a person but the only reason she's famous is bcuz she humanized vampires. Why can't her actual fans see this?? She gave vampires the ability to experience an existential crisis. She enhanced human emotions through them. *That* is the appeal of them. To keep wiping all of that away bcuz *actually* looking at themes of abuse and letting ppl explore them how they will is too much for u is childish. To say that discussion of things like rape--a theme *famously* part of the Vampire Chronicles throughout--is acting like the cops or w/e is....I'm sorry, she's middle aged??
I might not agree with all the takes she listed but it's not bcuz of a feeling of moral superiority that ppl talk about these things. A lot of it is ppl projecting their own traumas. Some of it's also racism. It's a lot of things but....not rly ever trying to be morally superior and calling everyone else perverts, where tf did u even get that??? It's been around here and there but it's *not* the prime reason ppl talk about this stuff. If my inbox is anything to go by, ppl also are looking for guidance on how to feel about these things bcuz they're not used to seeing complex characters and stories like this. These discussions should be allowed to happen without shame on either side jfc.
The show also incorporates racial discussions now too, something she also hates like hell even though she's a black woman. She uses her identity to tell ppl it's okay to not talk about race and then she uses her PSAs otherwise to try and publicly shame ppl even more about it. She kisses white fandom's ass and all of them think like this. This is the group most ppl flock to bcuz it takes no serious thought to involve urself in them. All they care about is shipping and never looking deeper than that, grouping together to bully everyone around them who doesn't think the same and then play victim v loudly to distract from the fact that it's always been *them* doing it. They've rly shut up since this account has been here and they haven't tried much of shit with me bcuz they don't have anything to say if it's not a personal attack. They can't argue their points like this ^ face to face bcuz they only know how to speak on their own platform.
Idk how u can be this old and reduce these stories to shipping only, getting mad at others who don't do that and trying to gatekeep the fandom bcuz of this, willingly opening up ppl younger than u to racist harassment, and continuing to make posts like this as if u can't easily be called out on *all* of it.
Calling the vampires "serial killers" is so fucking pointless when the real horror of them all doesn't even come from their vampirism. It's their trauma and their v human reactions to that and how they move around each other bcuz of it too. The show *requires* that u see them as more than vampires. The vampirism is a background noise. That is never their main struggle. This is just language used in an attempt to sound smart but ur not saying anything. It just makes u look even stupider tbh. Idek what the Twilight dig is about here bcuz even Twilight had abuse and racism issues in it that u could write essays on and ppl *did.* Like where tf have u been, how do u navigate the world at all idgi.
full post under the cut tw rape mentions
#interview with the vampire#amc interview with the vampire#interview with the vampire amc#amc iwtv#iwtv amc#iwtv 2022#fandom racism#showmey0urfangs
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Hi there, as a lot of people have seen there is a cluster fuck of a post in the npd tag about.. idek how to summarize it except glorifying empathy and villainizing personality disorders. They use narcissist, psychopath, abuser, and lots of degrading words interchangeably so be prepared for that. I won’t @ the person, partially because I don’t want to deal with the headache of them replying and partially because I don’t want to be responsible if they get harassed. They’re in the tag though publicly saying this so you could stumble upon it yourself, be careful and don’t read if it’ll hurt you! Tagged as #long post
It was so long so I decided to pick out the most relevant parts and comment on them.
People who know they have NPD don’t seem to go around calling people “unaware narcissists” as we know it’s difficult to notice and diagnose and increases stigma to do so. That’s something self proclaimed empaths do a lot though. Also, are you in this statement admitting that empaths can come across as self centred and “narcissistic” if people don’t understand what’s happening in their brain?
Personally I don’t feel any hatred for hyperempathetic people, that’s just a neutral trait some people have.
You can’t really say something is the opposite of a whole personality disorder that has several different diagnostic criteria and presents differently in different individuals. Brains aren’t black and white and antisocial PD isn’t only lack of empathy. The word for not being antisocial is prosocial what I know?
People can have compassion without empathy and people can lack compassion while having empathy, and it’s okay to not be loving as long as you aren’t harming people.
You shouldn’t passive aggressively say sorry to us in the same sentence you’re insulting us as “number out husks” and then go on to talk about how weak and cowardly we are. A lot of us had our empathy weaponized against us from such an early age that we had to turn it off to survive. If you value empathy so much, why aren’t you empathizing with that? I don’t really feel anything about it, it’s just a fact, but it’s also a fact that we shouldn’t have had to suffer through so much pain and then be blamed for how our brains developed. Also, if someone was born without empathy or had a traumatic head injury that impacted it they obviously didn’t choose that either. People who can feel a lot of empathy are also often scared of love and people without empathy can hate violence and conflict and have people they value enough to sacrifice themselves.
First of all, people in power are corrupt and become corrupt and are not the same as inventors or philosophers or any other great contributor, secondly those are exceptional people who stand out in history and didn’t have any access to therapy or self help or medication or anything else that helps mentally ill people function and cope. You can’t even go back in time and confirm who feels what level of empathy. People without empathy can also value peace, human lives, safety, etc. I constantly help caring for friends and community regardless of how little I feel about them. I don’t have to feel empathy, sympathy or compassion to do what is right, I can simply choose it, I can hate someone and devalue them and still choose to do what’s best for them.
The concept of empathy isn’t attacked we’re literally just saying we can exist without it and still be worthy human beings and people with empathy can be flawed and selfish still. We literally just want nuance and acceptance so people will have access to help.
Okay who thinks we’re actually out to destroy empathy? Maybe fascists are but come on. In the npd tag? You go into the npd tag thinking we have some kind of agenda to Destroy Empathy? People in society value empathy so much that calling someone empathetic is considered a huge compliment and calling someone unempathetic is an insult.
Fun fact! That’s how a lot of us were made! People literally broke our child-brains by using our empathy as a weapon against us and it was so overwhelming and terrible we couldn’t handle it :^) but yeah call abuse victims weak and pathetic that’s great love that for you
Also, a lot of us have really strong emotions that are incredibly overwhelming, not just a “dried up stream” lol
You talk about empaths needing a shield. Our “shield” was Not Having It.
Still unsure if you mean people with NPD or abusers or abusers with NPD but while there probably exists some people who go out with the intention to cause harm, most narcissists don’t and even most abusers work differently than that, they have a set of beliefs that they think justifies their harm it’s not really “oh how fun to destroy people” in a lot of cases. Of course it is unjustifiable though. I���ve read that abusive people seek out more empathetic people because they’re easier to convince that they can deserve it and often have qualities an abuser values, like a willingness to give more chances and staying quiet about mistreatment because they’d feel guilty or being guilt tripped easily. It’s often more about control than sadism, but sometimes it is sadism. Unempathetic people can also be abused and deserve to have resources.
Intelligence is actually not very easy to define and measure and intellectually disabled people should absolutely be included in that conversation and should absolutely not be called mindless, the mind is way more than the typical definition of intelligence. Heart doesn’t have a set definition and is even more loose than intelligence but if someone doesn’t experience the same types of emotions as me I’d still think they should be able to speak their minds about it.
Oh my god no one is denying the existence of empathy?? It is a well known concept, people study it, people who say they don’t feel it are admitting it exists because that’s what makes them different.
There are so many things to say here.. first of all are you equating npd to abuser again?
Secondly, this is a really toxic mindset. You don’t have to suffer through incredible emotional/psychological pain to be strong. You don’t have to be strong. You don’t have to “bear the burden”. If you’re in a situation that is bad for you, please do what you can to leave! You aren’t better or worse for not being able to handle the pain, you shouldn’t have to be in pain.
Thirdly, what do you think a narcissistic injury or crash is? It’s exactly that. Our sense of self and self worth crumbling when our defence mechanism doesn’t work. It’s not funny. It’s awful to go through. We do not have life on easy mode, life is a fucking nightmare, people with npd often have suicide attempts. How can you say any of this while claiming to empathize with people?
People with facial disfigurements have told me that disfigured is the word they want to be called, not deformed. Also, you shouldn’t vilify disfigurement like that, it’s not a bad thing and it’s ableist to use it to insult and to equate it with being an abusive person or having a mental illness. Also calling people monkeys is dehumanizing too. Don’t think you can get away with that.
You are actually correct about empathetic not being the real word - empathic is actually standard English. Not because -pathetic means you’re weak but because -pathic means suffering/experiencing/feeling/being moved by and -pathetic means means being able to move someone else. You’re being super fucking weird about it though.
Your pop culture references weren’t that accurate or relevant and you shouldn’t rely on made up stories to support your point when you’re talking about real psychology. So I won’t include them. I saw some other people already told you they were wrong.
Hopefully no one agrees with any of the shit you wrote it was a pain to make this post but it was eating at me when I tried to leave it alone so here you have it
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NaNoWriMo
-slams hands on desk-
Okay. So. I haven’t been writing much lately. Because I’m always tired (and lazy, not gonna lie). Honestly idek what I’ve been doing while not writing because haven’t been watching TV, or reading, or even browsing Tumblr much so I’m literally like ?? Where do the hours go?
Remember back in whatever year when I was writing a fic a month? Remember those days? What happened to those days? (Work, probably. Work’s been nuts)
BUT I DIGRESS! Point is, it is now November. I am going to do NaNoWriMo (might try and do two fics, because let’s be honest, I have no chill, and I like a good challenge).
I am posting this here publicly so that I... For the... the thing... Okay seriously, I always forget this fucking word. WATCHER! WHAT IS THE WORD?! (Legit have one person who constantly reminds me of the word when I forget it... Where are you? Thank you, I love you).
ACCOUNTABILITY! I had to look it up, I always forget this word, idk why.
Anyway, my point (shockingly, I have one) is I am going to aim to actually get shit done this month and hopefully will crank out two NaNoWriMo fics. For an overdue birthday and an upcoming birthday. We’ll see how that goes.
I should post check-ins. Should I post check-ins? That sounds dangerous... I’ll think about it |D
Feel free to join me in hell 8D If anyone else is doing it and wants to whine and complain in solidarity, HIT ME UP. I am a MASTER complainer :D
Happy writing all! o/
- Blood
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y’know the wildest thing still to happen to me on this hellsite was my first experience of sexting, sans nudes, that was done in front of at least 250-500 followers because of those horny anons i had in early 2013 when i was 17. instead of being exposed to it on my phone privately with a partner at that age, it was done publicly for the internet to see lmao. i remember begging the anons to stop and “come off anon” because i was “losing followers” at the time too bc i was so insecure about my follower count lmao. and then yeah when they came off anon they were both 28 years old.
to write the responses, i just consulted cosmo mag sex pages for ideas hoping that the anons would like the options i chose. in one i detailed doing anal- a sex act i hadn’t even done yet irl- let alone every other thing i suggested in them (head, idek long, drawn out foreplay, some stupid fancy sex moves that cosmo was all like “use these moves to spice up your sex life 🔥🔥”, sex in a bath, i’m pretty sure i had some lines about tying or handcuffing them to a bed (????) etc etc etc)….
when again, i had never even done any of those above sex acts in real life. i was a naive teen who was incredibly shy in regards towards her love life because she’d “never been kissed” and had never had the “hot emo boyfriend whose in a band and is covered in tattoos” she’d always wanted, let alone even a boyfriend that she had actually fucking liked (ie clear braces boy, for like a month in year 9/2010 vs the popular boys that made fun of her, that she always had unrequited crushes on)…. hell, my blog title when i first started on here in 2011 was “the perfect epitome of being forever alone” because of these very reasons. but here she was, writing explicit sex acts to strangers like she knew what the fuck she was doing, to an audience of 250-500 people- and then to fucking grown ass men in inboxes. i was just parroting the shit i’d read in cosmo (both sex advice and sometimes excerpts of erotica/“sexy, steamy reads” they had some months) and also heard repeatedly in the porn that my high school stalker/creeper at public school loved to show (harass) me with to flirt with me, whenever we were alone together at school in 2012/2013.
like you could tell how naive i was….. because i used ridiculous lines like “like a gentleman entranced, you lead me to the bath for our next foray” and dumbass prose-y things like that. because what the fuck does that even mean 😂😅????
and this is why i think minors should be careful with their online experiences. like yeah, you could say that i wasn’t a minor anymore- more of a “young adult”- who should of made the smart decision to not engage with these anons. but i was a kid. i thought it was fun. and when the dudes came off anon, i thought to myself “it’s not like i’m ever gonna meet them if i ever go to the US or puerto rico at any point. it’s not like that they’ll ever recognise me in person or ever reach out to me again in the future. i might as well do it.” and i did eventually end up ignoring the guys in my inbox, due to my mental health kinda plummeting from the middle til the end of 2013 because of my end of high school exams and stuff… and also the puerto rican guy’s infamously inappropriate “hot PE teacher fucks HOT female high school student in the girls change room showers” fantasy which fucking disgusted me, when he full well knew that i was STILL IN high school.
and obviously again, there’s the point about using the “block” button function. but as i’ve stated several times over my years on here, back in my early days of tumblr, i never wanted to block or unfollow people (even if they were trash like these two men), because it seemed so “mean” and “final”. obvs now i have no qualms about blocking people, and actively encourage younger people on here to use the block button with reckless abandon towards creepy people or people who can hurt them in some way. but to high school teenage me, the whole “using the block button” thing seemed to go against me being a “nice girl/person” so i never used it, no matter which social media platform i was on.
this is why i’m hella scared for young teen girls on tik tok wanting to have onlyfans accounts: because it’s where they’ll be exposed to ACTUAL CREEPS AND PREDATORS incredibly quickly; all because they can make money off selling images of just their feet or eventually their body….. depending on what these creepy strangers demand from them….. and they’ll feel like they’ll have to do it…. but to do it before you even start experimenting properly with relationships and sex is even worse. like. yeah. i’ve admitted before that i originally started this tumblr to possibly post nudes, to see if i’d get the positive feedback that i so desperately wanted/craved from the boys in my year at catholic school- eg. to be called “sexy”, “hot”, “fuckable” possibly “beautiful”- like some of the so called “popular girls” got on their hella basic bikini photos back then (like i remember one girl i knew ended up with like 500 likes and a fair amount of comments on one of her bikini pics and i was INCREDIBLY BITTER because not even a pic of me with a nice outfit on, my hair done and makeup on could EVER get those numbers, let alone even break over the double digits).
but i decided posting nudes or other explicit images on here was an absolute no go, because i realised that i never wanted people that i knew digging up barely clothed/naked pics of me and sending them to me all like “hey, is this you?” and then possibly mocking me, all because i would’ve been dumb enough to put my face in them probably at the time. now when i take nudes and send them, i never show my face. because i know now, that even in relationships, your partner can use nude pics as leverage for arguments or to abuse you in such a way that they’ll upload your pics without your knowledge to god knows where on the internet probably as a way to get back at you in a horrible breakup.
this is what i sincerely hope some young girls who ever contemplate starting onlyfans accounts take some time SERIOUSLY CONSIDER. please know that if you share shit on onlyfans, it can shared and re-shared (i think idek how OF works tbh) to god knows who- and eventually end up in the hands of people you know. i don’t fucking care if it’s a “good way to make money!” or if people think that im trying to stop teen girls from being “girl bosses” and the other dumb as fuck internet memes you want to throw at me. because this shit isn’t “haha internet meme funny” material. it’s some fucking serious stuff. and also, i’m not saying “don’t become a sex worker when you’re older” or whatever either. you’re free to make that choice when you’re in your 20s (no i even mean 17-19 year olds in this post as “young teen girls”- sorry you’re basically kids to me at almost 26). just please consider where the fuck your stuff can be shared to. who it can end up being shared with or to.
this is why i was so fucking adamant with my infamous old follower mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF that i personally would NOT consider becoming a camgirl for him or just generally… because i had no idea where the fuck my images or videos would end up. and do you know the places i’d never want them to fucking be??? in the hands of my high school stalker/creeper. in the hands of those two 28yo men from 2013 (who’d now be in there late 30s or early 40s). i absolutely don’t want them in the hands the mid-to-late 20s and early 30s men that that girl i met at public school in 2012 who was pissed that i didn’t believe that were “adults” because we were finally over the legal age of consent (16) in our state of australia, and so we were apparently fine to “fuck” literal grown ass men because “just fuck them and they’ll be nice to you!!” which i knew was fucking bullshit.
i absolutely don’t fucking want explicit videos/images of me ending up in “why the fuck won’t you let me give you “sex lessons” in the back of my car as a “favour” and as payment for teaching you how to drive you stupid, stuck up & frigid, virgin bitch!?” guy’s hands from 2014 (when i was 18/19 at the time and he was 25… he ended up being the first person of many i’d EVER block on social media lol). or i don't want them in the hands of those weird early 20s dudes (one of which was trying to set me up with his friend) who hit on me at 16/17 (2012) who were angry that i didn’t like and watch porn as much as they did…. and who promptly asked me at the end of their period of harassing of me: “do you know any sluts we could add?” because i kept refusing their suggestions etc.
hell, quite frankly i don’t even want them to go to mr adelaide fuckboy/MAF either, but the very few and far between nudes that i sent on snapchat to him back in 2016 are some nudes that i’d rather forget lmao. hell. i don’t even know if MAF ever deleted my nudes or shared them somewhere else or not, after he fucking wheedled them out of me with “i’ve followed you for 4 years, don’t be a shit! you owe me nudes!” so he’d just shut the fuck up about my social life decisions and leave me the fuck alone.
i don’t want ANY ONE of the guys i mentioned above to get their hands on photos of minors either…. because i definitely know my hs stalker/creeper would… because his fave “make her jealous” tactic that he’s always used on me is that “hey…. i’m dating a *insert teenage girl’s age here*! be fucking jealous that you don’t fucking have me and feel guilty that you won’t fuck me like this girl does!!!” just like he did in 2015, when i ran into him on the home from uni… when i turned 20 the next week and he turned 20 that december. at that time it was a 14yo girl he used as an example of him “dating”/“fucking” to make me jealous. instead, i was completely and utterly fucking disgusted. like any fucking sane and normal human being would/should be at that horrible age gap. that is literally a fucking child that he was fucking grooming. and we were literal adults. back the fuck away.
just please. PLEASE CONSIDER the types of people that trawl these kinds of sites and their intentions. please consider that you are young. very fucking young. you literally DO NOT need to upload nudes to the internet because it’s apparently a “lucrative” business. fuck the jokey “boss babe” rhetoric around it all the way to fucking hell.
because if you’re a minor: i do not want you to have your first experience of sexting or sending explicit images literally in front of god knows how many total strangers for the whole world to see (okay i know only fans is like subscriber/follower based or whatever. but i don’t care)…… even when you (depending how good you are with relationships etc) haven’t reached the common supposed milestones of your “first boyfriend/girlfriend/partner” or “first kiss” or have even “lost your virginity” (which isn’t real anyway- don’t buy this fucking bullshit)…. just like i stupidly did with my exposure to sexting here on my tumblr back in 2013. these people don’t/won’t give a flying fuck about your privacy or safety. they don’t/won’t give a fuck about your boundaries either.
please don’t possibly scar yourself for life, just because you’re being told that it’s a quick & convenient way to make some money for weirdos on the depths of the internet. you will regret it in future. just like i do now with mine. it should’ve been something personal between me and and a guy i trusted and liked at the time. not to some random 250-500 random strangers on this hellsite (okay the notes on these posts were literally single digits or non-existent, but still… and also some of my irl friends who had tumblr saw these posts as well) for a show….. and then privately with two 28yo literal grown ass men…. who should’ve been fucking hitting on women their own goddamned age and in their own countries and NOT a 17yo high school KID (at the time) from australia; who, now in her 20s, needs therapy to sort this shit out lmao. mind you they both reeled me in with the “you’re so mature for your age” bullshit line…. which i fell for a little bit, even if it did make me feel kinda gross at the time, too. don’t fall for that bullshit either.
#life#about me#shut up ilona#relationships i guess#internet stuff#this went in a bigger direction that i thought it would lmao#but anyway
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tea time
Okay I’m going to spill the tea a little here. I would like to start off with saying that I am a fan of Tom Holland. I’m also 18, about to dive into college, the work field, and I’m trying to maintain professionalism on my other social accounts. Given that, I’m a closet fan girl who only posts on Tumblr.
And thank god.
Just because I only post on Tumblr, doesn’t mean I don’t see the craziness that is the other platforms (Instagram and Twitter). I don’t know what it is... maybe I just follow the right people on tumblr or maybe just all of the people I’m going to be generalizing just flock to Instagram and Twitter.
Last note before I get started. I know probably not alllll people on Insta and Twitter are crazy Tomdaya stans, but it’s the only place I see it. And quite frankly, that’s disturbing considering those are the platforms Tom, Zendaya, and their families would be looking at. Not Tumblr.
Now, to begin...
Yesterday this video was released. Most of us have already seen it already, but just Incase you haven’t here’s a quick recap:
The interviewer asks Tom and Zendaya about what it’s like for people to want their relationship to be real in real life.
Tom says it’s annoying.
Zendaya agreed with Tom but she more is like “aye it’s gonna happen, I try not to worry about it”
Now today, I’m on Instagram on the explore page and I see a story of some Zendaya account. It’s a note, so interested what it says, I click on it. Low and behold, it’s about Tomdaya.
Because like everything on Instagram is about Tomdaya.
So this person has multiple screenshots of notes on their story detailing about how they are all upset about this video.
The first one I see is this:
Alright so let’s break this down yeah. (Under the cut because this is getting long)
Okay, well firstly, if you have to block Z from seeing your opinion about something, that should be immediate red flags.
Now, they are getting confusing. So you know that it’s not your business but you still are commenting on this and continue to force their relationship? It’s a slap in the face to you? No offense, but you kind of put yourself in this position. Lastly, I love that it’s “they have a right to whatever opinion they do because their friendship/relationship.”
What?
What?
What?
It’s not an “opinion” Tom and Z have that may be different than yours. What they say is what you get. If someone says “I’m not in a relationship with X person.” You don’t get to reply with “Hm, well in my opinion you are.”
Would you do that to people you know in real life? No? Okay, then don’t do it to Tom and Z.
Moving on...
Okay, not bad. You see that you are making them uncomfortable, and now you are going to stop. Good.
Except... wait for it.
Okay. So, you are only mad because Tom called it “annoying.” Hm... maybe should that, I don’t know, maybe, possibly, BE A SIGN THAT IT’S ANNOYING?!
“Especially considering all we deal with when it comes to the Antis”
The antis? This isn’t Peter Parker and MJ. This isn’t a fandom. There should be no “antis” because they are not characters. They are human beings.
BUT THEN
WHAT
ARE YOU SERIOUS?!?!?
Tom and Zendaya: We are not dating
This person: Of course, they’re still dating.
WHAT?
Okay listen, if you want think they’d be cute together, cool. I get that. There’s a lot of public figures where I think, oh hey, these two people have really good chemistry. I think they would be a good couple. But unless I know FOR SURE they are dating.... I would never just be like “oh lol they are just lying nah they dating” like what?
Shall we continue?
Yes? Okay.
So, the next story on this person’s account was a screenshot from someone else’s account.
Here it is:
So I start reading this going through different emotions.
Point 1: the first part of the sentence was good, but the second part not so much. Yes keep it to yourself, but like??? Don’t post at all. Also, you guys call yourselves “crackies”? Red flag.
Point 2: You are probably right. Also probably because accounts like yours and the one before post it all over social media so not only does he have to deal with it during press, but also all the time online. Good job :)
Point 3: HOW CAN YOU DO THAT. HOW CAN YOU SAY THEY ARE STILL DATING WITHOUT ANY REMORSE. LIKE WHAT.
idek know what to think. So I click on this new users profile.
It gets worse. Their story has more about this situation.
First there’s this:
Hm, interesting. You’ve “never gotten the impression that the shipping annoys them THAT much.”
Well, what about all of the other times they denied their relationship???
“Especially as we pretty much all know that they are together”
Did you... did you ever consider... that maybe... THEY ARENT TOGETHER? BECAUSE THATS WHAT THEY SAID?
“My impression has always been that they don’t care if their fans know but they hate the media.”
Um what no. Fans aren’t entitled to “know” ANYTHING. Literally nothing. And since Tom and Z have never confirmed that they are together, you don’t “know” shit.
Then there’s this:
So, let me get this straight, you think Tom was “genuinely pissed” but that doesn’t make you not believe in Tomdaya at all? Really? For real?
This is really funny now because now they are the victim. Just because you’ve been “noticed” by Tom, Z, or their friends or family doesn’t validate anything. Plus I looked through their “notices” highlight and all the posts that were getting noticed were not about Tom and Z dating lol.
“What Tom said today and especially Jacob just flat out made us feel like we are the bad guys- and we’re not.”
Literally again, if the PEOPLE YOU ARE LITERALLY SHIPPING AND THEIR FRIENDS ARE CALLING YOU OUT ON THIS CRAP THEN YOU LITERALLY ARE THE BAD GUYS. Also, that statement totally contradicts the last one because despite your “notices” they still make public statements that they don’t like it.
Then there’s this. Like wtf?? You just said your “faves” were lying. Like maybe... you could... just back off and believe them? Strange concept I know. Also, pretty sure they were laughing because Tomdaya stans are literally crazies.
They also posted this and like??? what. Tom is “extra” because he’s trying to clear out rumors that probably damage his friendship with Z? Like this has happened with so many other celebs before. The fact that this person can just so blatantly ignore what Tom says, and say that he’s lying is mind boggling.
Lastly, I went back to the original user and this is what they had on their story:
So now, they just back tracked on literally everything they said before. It doesn’t matter what Tom or Z says, they have a fan page and they are going to post what they want even if Tom finds it annoying. Such great fans :))
Just because Z follows you, doesn’t mean anything.
I can’t. I literally can’t.
I would just like to add that the first user has 28 Thousand Followers and the second user has 55 Thousand followers. Which is just... that many people agree with what they’re posting. That’s wild to me.
Okay, I’m gonna wrap this up because this is long and I have work to do, but listen. When it comes down to it, just because two actors (human beings) are in a movie together where their characters have a romantic interest, DOES NOT MEAN YOU GET TO SHIP THE ACTORS. Think they’d be cute? Great. Keep that to yourself. It’s none of your business. The fact that some people can just refuse to listen to the very people they pretend to “love” is very very telling. Especially when those two actors/human beings have actually said that they find the shipping behavior “annoying” or are uncomfortable or have publicly announced that they are just friends.
End rant. Please feel free to add or comment
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Wed 27 Feb
Two Of Us T-8 DAYS
Today at dotd we give thanks for, above all, my convenient fucking time zone wrt the rise of King Louis, thank the gods above for that. I can't tell you every little thing it's TOO MUCH but some highlights of today's barrage of lontent in roughly chronological order... Louis Instagram and twitter profile pics changed, there was a very clever tweet that you had to retweet to unlock the ToU cover art so yeah, boom, trending immediately, followed shortly after by Two Of Us official art and presave links and release date posted (Mar 7! It's moved up a day!) across every platform known to the modern world, trick tweet deleted, Louis' spotify instantly crashed under the weight of people trying to presave and stayed intermittently crashed for like an hour, Louis' website and twitter and everything else updated with the new art theme featuring Louis' handwriting for everything, a handwritten letter emailed out, label and team and colleagues all publicly showing up to support... then a lull. We relaxed, and appreciated the truly astonishing amount of very fast fanart that posted. But then! House of Solo new issue with Louis cover! Presales up for about two minutes, immediately taken down and put back up at a higher price due to demand (:/)(but also now available internationally), sold out, restocked, sold out again, restocked again, idek now go check for yourself. And then! Sun exclusive with preview material from the House of Solo interview- quotes about the song being about Jay! It's Louis, talking about the music!! THE LYRICS OF THE CHORUS. Then more pics from the HoS shoot like every half hour, THEN people discovered a bts photo from that shoot that had been sitting on ig, tagged and everything, since EARLY DEC! Then Louis popped into a Twitter chat ("Thank you for being such a loyal fan base...lots of love") good god I would die. Louis trending for like the third time today. Louis employee Jessie Martin out there liking memes about record labels screwing over clients, lol.
Takeaways and discourses in brief- Jordan Green says Louis was very involved in all the creative and more importantly that this is the "first single of the new campaign" NICE. The release date being moved from Fri to Thurs, which worried some as Fridays are the traditional release day for chart action but Billboard tells us "Thurs is the new Fri" for getting lots of attention. Twitter bio updated but the '1/4 of One Direction' still there, aww. Biggest takeaway of the day though, team Louis is KILLING IT, promo is ON POINT and we are absolutely living for it!!! And, possibly we're about to fucking die of it, this is a lot. Still to come probably in the next few days, Line of Best Fit interview or tease, MeRCh??, more video snippets? They've posted starting at exactly 5 pm GMT the last couple days, it seems totally possible that's going to continue all week so clear your schedules and brace yourselves!
In two of the HoS photos we've seen Louis is wearing a very distinctive shirt that was also worn by Rami Malek to the premier of Papillon, in which he played the character of Louis. Papillon, of course, is the story of two men, Henri and Louis, who are locked up by tptb and plotting to escape together: the 1973 Steve McQueen version of the movie was the inspiration for many of Harry and Louis' tattoos, including the butterfly and the card suits. Maybe it's unrelated! But I personally really hope he wore it as a coded message cause tbh wtf is that shirt, it looks like a 90s lesbian sitcom character promo photo top. Yeah yeah I know y'all love that I'M SORRY I just CANNOT
Some discourse about appropriate things to post about this very personal song/topic which I absolutely do not have space to cover but everyone seems to agree that we should tag for death and grief warnings and some are already having a hard time, so let's go with that?
Phew okay. Listen Niall's really out there making a bid for headlining these updates but dude, this is Not the time for your antics! Not till after the 7th! Sheesh. Still, props, getting drunk and getting papped being ridiculously handsy with your PA is a damn good bid for attention, I'm listening... So, "oops I was drunk and getting sloppy with a pal?" Cynical bid for media coverage on the heels of the recent "mystery girl" articles about them being papped so much together? Trying to tell us he's actually dating his employee? This seems the least likely scenario but Niall is a dark fucking horse, who the hell knows. Anyway to be fair he was also being handsy af with some blond dude, covering all the bases?
And finally Harry was spotted lunching in London. I don't know what this fandom's coming to when Harry news is the most relaxing and straightforward part of it, honestly. Again, get it together Niall - that's supposed to be you! I don't even know which way is up anymore I swear.
#Louis Tomlinson#Louis Louis Louis Louis that's it send tweet just#Louis#Niall#Niall Horan#Harry#Harry styles#house of Solo#Tara cassandro#two of us#Jessie Martin#Jordan Green#papillion#sbb#shirts#yeah that's#stunt handler Jessie#i will say that i do not think that was actual Louis in the Twitter chat#i mean it was his account! But i don't think it was him#i have more to say about that but i forgot today and wouldn't have had room anyway#later in this week of Louis blitz I'm gonna try to get to that
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(i probably shouldn’t randomly muse about my sexuality publicly on the internet but i’m doing it anyway at least it’s under a cut)
welp, now i’m wondering if the question shouldn’t be “am i bi or lesbian” and maybe should instead be, “am i just ace???”
except that really doesn’t sound right either. but like.
okay so literally every girl/woman i was ever attracted to i definitely wasn’t attracted to them when i first met them. it took some time/getting to know them before i started to see them as attractive - and with several of those women, i didn’t feel attracted to them until AFTER i knew they were attracted to me.
and that has always felt like a great big red flag.
i’m... pretty certain i’m not attracted to men, and probably never have been, that’s not the issue here.
(then why do i keep dithering over identifying as bi? well because i DEFINITELY have been attracted to nonbinary people. and yeah i know nonbinary lesbians are a thing but........ idk it feels different?
also i’m very fond of/attached to my bisexual flag hair and i know this is a very stupid reason to not identify as lesbian but goddammit it is definitely a big factor in my identification process!!!! how i advertise my sexuality is important to me! and false advertising is bad but i LIKE my colorful hair and the lesbian flag fucking sucks!!!!!!!!! and rainbow would be expensive cuz i’d have to buy four more bottles of dye!!)
BUT getting back to the original point.... the question is, am i actually interested in women?
and the answer is... i don’t know?
i don’t know if i’m attracted to women or i’m attracted to the idea of women being attracted to me? or the idea of a relationship?
i’ve become very scared of being alone, i don’t want to live alone my whole life, and i sometimes wonder if i’ve latched on to an attraction to women because i know i could never last in a long-term relationship with a man, and i’m scared of being alone.
but also... i definitely fantasize about being in romantic relationships with women? so like. YES attraction! duh!!! this is obvious self, why are you dithering, you even do the “most men are not very attractive and all women are gorgeous” thing, why are you even questioning this
but ALSO also, i pretty much never fantasize about sexual relationships with women? and i consume very little media that actually has f/f relationships in it, even when they’re recommended to me? and i tend to latch onto male characters and m/m relationships a lot stronger than f/f relationships, even when both kinds of relationship are present in the same narrative??? (i mean, why am i so obsessed with davekat but rosemary is just kind of a “oh that’s nice”???????)
(hooooo boy do i latch onto male characters. it’s always men i latch onto, practically never women. i can count on the fingers of one hand the number of female characters who were my actual favorite in a given story/fandom, even when i had plenty of female characters to choose from)
and i never had, like, a lot of the “that baby lesbian feel” experiences other lesbians seem to have had? i never had crushes on female cartoon characters, i didn’t have very many close female friends as a girl and i definitely didn’t wanna kiss the ones i did, i don’t feel uncomfortable/weird around men until someone ELSE thinks we’re dating....
i’m just. i’m very confuse????
all right that’s enough sexuality existential trauma for the night idek why i’m even posting this
#about me#def's life keeps happening: the novel#sexuality#bisexuality#lesbian#asexuality#idek anymore folks
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Ah, I'm glad my criticism was a little bit helpful. About the waist being really small being a stylistic choice, I like meiko with an hourglass figure too but I almost feel like it has to be one or the other. That is, either toned abs or the very thin waist. Normally when women have rather prominent abs, their waist is not quite so slim due to the muscle gain. Just some pointers. Of course, she's also not a real woman lol so you could possibly also find a happy medium more easily?
SORRY this is a long post so i’m shortening it via a read more bc im dumping all my thoughts (hehe dw it’s all good stuff so thank u for ur critique!!)
YEAH i totally get where you’re coming from!!! sadly for me i can’t find many anime ref’s where ladies have abs so i can’t base it on that, nor can i base it on realism bc u know not real lady HAHAHA but i agree i’ll probably just get rid of it since im like YEAH hourglass > abs (or at least minimal abs) if i release her publicly and keep working on it behind closed doors or maybe i’ll just stick to tda edits for the time being since that’s probably my strong point and the only thing ppl like about me, and return back later with fresh eyes and New insights you know what i mean??
ALSO I AGREE WITH THIS TOO bc like:
wtf am i trying to do here yknow???? i’m still a mesh-person at heart but the moment i slap on textures it’s like ‘who u trying to impress here dumbass’ but i in actuality i just really wanted to aim for it to look something like this:
since (i just tried this) her neck look pretty dumb without it but also with it??? meiko why do you even have a neck at this point??? and my meiko model isn’t supposed to be super anime but it’s not supposed to be super real either u FEEL ME it’s a weird combination of both???? but i know wat u mean with the masculine comment, i think it looks pretty alright on kaito but on meiko ‘its like wtf are u doing!?!!??!’ basically im just super pathetic when it comes to texturing so idk how to make it work properly zzz like foR REAL HER entire body texture is literally:
but i’ll try to like idk minimise the colouring on the inside?? OR MAYBE i should like lighten up the colours in general so it doesnt contrast as much do you think??? how to even body man idek i will PLAY AROUND W IT SOME MORE
but seriously thank u for ur criticism!!! i really and truly strongly appreciate it and i’m always happy to consider your ideas hehe (makes me see stuff i wouldnt be able to notice unless pointed out!!)
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Have you heard about a picture of Josh's going around from last night and how people see scars on his legs??? It's a whole thing on insta and how the photo is probably fake but some are saying it's real. What do you think?? No one is posting the photo whether is photoshopped or not but its all so shitty. Even if they are real, why tf are people reposting this shit and making it a huge deal. It's his business and we shouldn't be blowing it up like this. Idek
1) probably fake. the only things I saw on his legs were hair and his tat.2) if he does have scars, maybe… don’t point them out?? lmao?? if ppl wanna talk about that shit, they should do it in private instead of speculating publicly as if he’s a zoo animal. that’s disgusting. you wouldn’t talk about scars on someone who wasn’t famous.3) stop looking for scars on josh and tyler. the clique has a wholeeeeee lotta fun examining pics and saying “oh wow there’s a scar! must be self harm!” 4) they won a Grammy last night. why don’t we focus on that instead.
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Thoughts on GoT 0701
Guess who's too lazy to get her laptop so can't put this under a read more and who's gonna make a long-ass post that nobody asked for anyway? This girl. (Also warning for spoilers for the new got episode) K so this time I thought I'd split my thoughts up by storyline that works I think ok here we go Arya: - yessssss my sweet child kill them all God that was so satisfying - ED SHEERAN - um excuse me arya why are you going south your family is north - also don't kill Ed Sheeran he's a good guy - ok I now ship arya and ed sheeran I wasn't expecting that and yet here we are - I mean let's face it gendry's never coming back Winterfell: - guess who's STILL PISSED THAT JON IS RULING INSTEAD OF SANSA - um all offence but littlefinger can fuck off and die - I would just like to say that Jon is a True Feminist™ - hhhhhh Jon, babe, darling, sweetie, I agree with your decision but NOT HOUW YOURE GOING ABOUT IT WHY ARE YOU SUCH A FOOL - like, look, this definitely seems like more of a 'Jon is here as king of the north and giving out orders' type meeting rather than a 'let's have a discussion about what to do next' type meeting - and I don't know how many of these decisions he discussed beforehand with which people but he clearly didn't discuss the forgiveness one with Sansa beforehand WHICH IS REALLY FUCKING STUPID - 1. Sansa has more right to rule than Jon (I'm still so mad that this was never even brought up at any point) so even if Jon is ruling Sansa should still have a great deal of influence. 2. Are we forgetting that Sansa was raped and tortured by Ramsay not even that long ago and so just might be disinclined to offer forgiveness to the people who helped him do so (yes I know it wasn't them it was their families and like I said I agree with Jon's decision but I can definitely understand Sansa view on this and Jon should definitely have been able to foresee her opposition to the idea) - what this means is that now the only way for her to bring up her opposition to this idea is to publicly disagree with him; the only other way would be to bring it up afterwards and if she managed to change his mind he'd then have to reverse his decision, making him look weak - and like??? Obviously it's not good for them to publicly disagree and Sansa has got to know this with the amount of time she's spent around people like Cersei, Margaery, Littlefinger, Olenna, etc. but it's the only way for her to bring up her quite reasonable disagreement and even apart from political concerns it would be the decent thing to do to at least warn her beforehand that she's going to have to act friendly and forgiving with the family of the people who helped/endorsed Ramsay rape and torture her. - to be fair to Jon I think this is more the show doing the classic 'we'll show the rape and torture of women for shock value and then never mention the effects that would have on them later' than his actual character BUT GODDAMNIT IM PISSED JUSTICEFORSANSA2k17 (that doesn't involve some bullshit manufactured excuse for her to actively oppose and harm Jon which is clearly what they're going for and I will not stand for it) - on that note can we please see Sansa dealing with the mental repercussions of what she's been through? Like, look, if you want to show these horrible things - fine. I don't like it, but fine. But at least show the recovery/the effects of said horrible things. Don't just act like it never happened. Either give Sansa a confidante (probs Brianne) and show them trying to work through these problems together or show the effects of not talking to anyone about what she's gone through just ACKNOWLEDGE THE LONG-TERM IMPACTS OF WHAT RAMSAY (and Joffrey and Cercei and Littlefinger and Lysa and SO MANY PEOPLE) DID TO HER GODDAMNIT - sort of jumping off that but seriously Jon do you not think that Sansa might have a perfectly good reason for being a tad more concerned with the enemies that she has met, that have personally cause her a great deal of harm (not that this piece of garbage show would ever acknowledge that harm), that she knows than some nebulous, uncertain, vague threat that she's only ever heard of in stories. I mean, which do you think is going to seem more pressing and real to her. Not to mention that she's actually right - sure, it would be great if everyone could band together to fight the White Walkers. If there was a chance of Cersei agreeing to this I'd 100% agree that difficult as it may be the right thing to do would be to put revenge behind them and focus on the real threat. Unfortunately, there's no fucking way Cersei would agree to it meaning that you are going to have to fight her whether you like it or not. Not to mention, you're going to have a difficult time defending the North from any enemy with only Northern armies and Northern supply chains - I'd start making allies quick. I mean, yeah, they're going to ally with Dany but they don't know that yet so my point still stands. - much satisfaction with the murder of Littlefinger I mean destroyed King's Landing: - honestly I relate with Jaime so much. Cersei please stop - this alliance is a terrible idea although I appreciate euron's sense of humour he is hilarious and so are Jamie's reactions - I am??? So worried??? About this gift???? What is he going to do someone please stop this man Bran: - REUNION REUNION REUNION REUNION Sandor: - these philosophical discussions should be a Goddamned podcast - OH SHIT it's the family!!! Ahhh look at that character development I am Happy™ - I really need to know what's up with the Lord of Light. I mean, idk if it's just me but I don't accept the idea that there is an actual God directly responsible for events in any kind of fiction (which is weird cause I do in real life but...idk I'm more cynical with fiction) - magical, powerful beings that may as well be gods? Sure. But God? No. So, like, this might sound crazy but my theory is that the Lord of Light has something to do with the Night King. Idk it's just a hunch. Sam: - clearly the maesters are fans of karate kid - also where is the 'they're taking the hobbits to isengard' video of this montage - mr archmaester there are so many things wrong with your argument idek where to start - Sam have you not watched Philosopher's Stone THERE ARE BLOODY TERRIFYING SCREAMING BOOKS IN THE RESTRICTED SECTION - oh thank God he made it out ok I would honestly have been less scared if he was trying to sneak past a den of White Walkers I have a deep-seated fear of authority - yay, there's the excuse for our heroes to meet. Thanks plot I mean Sam Dany: - EXCUSE ME BUT WHERE ARE ASHA (I refuse to call her yara) AND THEON - so the doors are just...unlocked? And...the entire castle is...completely empty. No one's there. At all. ...ok then - well that was an entirely pointless scene that did nothing for the narrative Overall: -well that was an entirely pointless episode that did nothing for the narrative - joking, but also serious. It mainly felt like a really long trailer? I mean other than the first scene with Arya and I guess Jon and Sansa arguing it was all...pointless. This was an entire episode of set-up which I'm really annoyed about because my dad can't watch this episode till Monday and I was really looking forward to holding spoilers over his head
#got#game of thrones#I hate this show so much#and yet I can't stop watching#sigh#oh well at least the defenders comes out tomorrow#I still can't bring myself to finish iron fist#oh well#I'm sure I'll pick it up
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