#or says something insensitive by accident

[kemihaydeestantonva]

Exactly this. And unfortunately, I can't say the same. Like I was trying to be vague in my wording to avoid trauma dumping but I'm tired. TW for death under the cut if you still don't get it by now let me spell it out for y'all.

My friend and roommate died at 28. Not a hand's width away from my face, I literally watched his eyes roll back and the life leave him and I have to live with the knowledge that I probably could have saved him had I acted sooner. I still, to this day, cannot bring myself to tell his mother that I had that window to save him (because at this point what is the use of telling her that, beyond tearing open the wound again?). I don't know how she'd react to that, and that terrified me. I don't think anymore that she would hate me, but I spent nearly ten years holding that knowledge inside myself. Murderer. Bad friend. Ruined so many lives. Should have been me instead.

Can you see how somebody like me would fixate on Blitzø and really connect with how tormented he is over that fire that took his mother? The realization of my worst fears - his family knowing it was his action that caused it, and HATING him for it.

Can you see how dismissing his trauma, or justifying how his family reacted to it might seriously do damage to REAL people that can relate to this part of Blitzø? I have come a very long way since 2013, but if this episode dropped 5 or 6 years ago (and I was able to even watch it without being incredibly triggered), those comments would DESTROY me. I am able to talk about this now in a more productive way, but my story isn't that unique. Horrific accidents happen all the time. Think of how many car accidents happen among young people, how many of those accidents might have been caused by a driver that wasn't thinking in the moment. A kid who left the oven on. Didn't accompany their sibling to the park, and the sibling never came home. Tiny, tiny things that every person could and would do, that have haunting consequences.

Cash and Barbie are not real people. WE are. Somebody out there who heard statements like that or read these comments who isn't as far along in healing as I am might be in a seriously dark place right now. Please be sensitive to how you could be hurting those people.

And to those people - this might not be something you're ready to hear - but you need to give yourself grace. I'm not going to tell you that your actions didn't lead to whatever happened. You know that they did, I'm not going to convince you otherwise. What I want you to know is that had you known the consequences, you would have done all you could to prevent it. Intent MATTERS. You CAN accept your actions and it STILL not be your fault at the same time. You don't know what would have happened if you did this or that. No, shut up and listen to me: YOU DON'T KNOW what would have happened had you acted differently. People love you and care about you, and they do for a reason. None of us are without sin, without blame. It's okay. You don't need to punish yourself. And don't listen to these insensitive folks, they don't know better. If anybody hates you for what happened, please know that they are wrong for that. And yes, that includes you.

I've seen like three separate people saying some really dismissive stuff about Blitzø and the fire, from a flippant comment like "well the fire was an accident but the truth is he DID kill his mum" to the downright gross - and I shit you not - "I can understand why Cash and Barbie would hate him for that"

I just want to remind y'all that while this is a fictional show, accidents like that fire do happen in real life. There are people out here who connect with Blitzø's trauma. Please be mindful of how those comments can come off.

[designernishiki]

feeling things over the fact that haruka in y5 is in so many situations where people are mean and vindictive towards her and her whole life has been tragedy and people wronging her and etc and yet she still chooses to be kind and even when someone is spewing hatred at her she still sees them as a person; a person who’s hurting for one reason or another, but always a person nonetheless, and thus someone needing compassion and love and support and shbcbddhsjdnnfnn she’s really honestly too good for this world i want to buy her a starbucks cake pop

[alaskan-wallflower]

i wish someone would make a fic about kyle’s bar mitzvah or something, i think it could be a cool concept. it’s interesting to learn about.

[am-i-the-asshole-official]

AITA for making a joke about someone's favorite celebrity dying (sorta).

I think this is fucking hysterical but a lot of my other friends don't seem to so

So last week I (20M) got really high. Like, too high. Way way way too high. Edibles. It was an accident. So I decided the only thing I was capable of doing was watching BoJack Horseman and texting. So I was sorta watching the episodes and drifting in and out of awareness while texting a friend group of mine.

Next morning I wake up and check my phone and I'm greeted with this long paragraph from one of my friends (20F) about how insensitive I was, how much I hurt her, etc. I was very confused and scared that I said something really fucked up, but when I checked the group chat I saw what she was talking about. In the show, there's a character who is a horse voiced by Lin Manuel Miranda. And all I was able to put together when spaced out of my mind was texting the GC "LIN MANUEL MIRANDA HORSE" over and over again. Like it was some big revelation I made. And then when said friend asked me what I meant. I said "going to the glue factory. Good bye asshole."

Now my friend like. Loves Hamilton. It's like a religion for her, she's seen it on Broadway FOUR TIMES. I honestly hate it for various reasons. Lin Manuel Miranda, I have nothing against, other than I find him a little annoying, which is a me thing. Me and my friend have an agreement where we do not talk about Hamilton cuz we'll just get into an argument. But frankly, I was too busy fistfighting God to remember this. I tried to explain the situation and apologize but she keeps saying I should have known better.

As I said I think it's kinda hilarious? But our friend group is kinda split on this. AITA?

What are these acronyms?

[animebw]

Hot take inspired by the Ranma 1/2 remake: Anime Pervert Nonsense was way better back in the days when most protagonists were perverts on purpose, as opposed to today's "Whoops! I accidentally walked in on you changing then fell into your boobs!" nonsense.

Like, this is something I've noticed across all Rumiko Takahashi's works. Whether Inuyasha, Urusei Yatsura or Ranma, when one of the characters acts like a skirt-chasing creep who can't keep his hands off a pretty girl, it's usually framed as something that is keeping them from happiness. Ataru's womanizing is the biggest obstacle between him and Lum, ditto Miroku and Sango. And while Ranma's much less of an active creep, his few moments of peeping under Akane's skirt serve the same purpose of keeping their relationship combative and at odds with each other. Hell, you can also throw in Yusuke from Yu Yu Hakusho; he fits this framework so perfectly I wouldn't be surprised if Togashi was a big fan of Takahashi's works. In each case, the guy is protrayed as an immature, insensitive manchild who will eventually have to grow up, stop being such a lecher, and commit himself to the girl he actually cares about.

In other words, being a pervert is a character flaw he is expected to get over by the story's end. It's something we as the audience are supposed to want to see him stop doing. Compare that to today and it's practically reversed: the Accidental Pervert trope is an excuse to let the audience enjoy that violation while leaving the protagonist (and the audience) supposedly blameless. It's not something the protagonist is supposed to get over because it's "not his fault" in the first place. And if anything, more often it's framed at the woman's fault for getting so worked up over an accident. How fucked up is that? A trope that started as something male characters were supposed to get over for the sake of the women they care about somehow twists around to become something female characters are scolded to stop making a big deal out of while letting men indulge in as much as they want?

And I'm not saying the old way of doing things is free from criticism, god no. There's plenty of reasons to consider it problematic even in this form. But at least there's this underlying intent of "Violating women's boundaries is something that this guy needs to stop doing if he wants to grow into a fully realized man." It's ultimately something we're supposed to want to stop happening, no matter how humorously it's framed. But in its modern incarnation? It's instead an excuse it let it keep happening as many times as the author wants. And it makes me want to personally smack every male author on Takahashi-sensei's behalf.

[somethingvicked]

Forget me (not) pt 3

warnings: female reader, talk of memory loss, angst to fluff

You stared at Eddie, your head pounding from the sudden overload of information that just broke through the wall that had been there.

You felt the overwhelming love you had for Eddie, had had for so long. But you also remembered what he had told you, how he had pushed you aside like you were nothing, for Chrissy.

You pulled back, as if he had burned you and Eddie looked at you in panic, like a deer in the headlights.

“Easy, sweetheart, easy…” he started and you suddenly saw red.

“Don’t call me that!” you snapped and he paled. “I’m not your sweetheart any longer, don’t you remember? Because I sure do.”

But at the same time… Eddie had been at your side practically all this time. Why had he? Wasn’t he scared what Chrissy would think?

No, of course he wasn’t. Because he wanted to stay friends with you, he just didn’t want you to have feelings for him. And then you forgot them, a small voice in your head said.

Well, it worked out quite well for him, didn’t it?

You rose to your feet and Eddie quickly did the same, still looking at you like you were some unstable lunatic with a ticking bomb.

“Thank you for bringing me here,” you said, your voice tense. “It clearly worked. And so I guess you better go back to Chrissy, since I now remember everything.”

“Wait, no, Y/N, it’s not like that…”

“I’m back to my old self now, Eddie,” you growled at him. “You don’t need to protect me anymore or do your duty as a friend.”

“Sweetheart, me and Chrissy broke up!”

That made you stop dead in your tracks and you turned around. “You did?”

“Yeah,” Eddie nodded, panting as if he was in pain. “About two weeks after… your accident. She didn’t like that I spent all my time with you…”

You hadn’t thought it was possible for you to be more angry at him, but lo and behold!

“Are you saying it’s my fault she dumped you, Munson?!” you screeched, grimacing as the loud sound made your headache worse.

“No!” Eddie all but squeaked, “I… I’m trying to say that… being at your side was all I wanted. What happened… it made me realize… how much you mean to me. And I know I was an idiot, an insensitive dolt, a goddamn jerk! I hate myself for treating you that way and making you feel like you were not the most important person in my life! Always had been.”

By now he was nearly sobbing, tears brimming in his eyes. “When I heard what had happened… you have no idea… I thought you had died. And the last conversation I had with you was that I wished  you forgot everything.”

“And I did,” you said, shaking your head, still angry with him, but his tears and broken puppy eyes had made it go down a little. The fucker, even when he didn’t try he knew how to play you like a fiddle.

“Yes, you did. You didn’t remember me. I know I deserved it. To have you looking at me like I was a stranger, not being allowed to tickle you or carry you on my back… you remembering everyone else, but not me. I deserved that. But Y/N… please believe me when I say that you are the most important person in my life. When you left that day I sat and contemplated who I would miss more if I would never see them again – you or Chrissy. And… me never seeing Chrissy again, it didn’t made that much of a difference. But the thought of being without you, it made me… I felt shattered. I was going to call you, but then they called me and told me what had happened.”

You rubbed your temples. All of this… it was too much for you to handle right now.

“I… I need to go home,” you got out. “Think about all this.”

“I’ll drive you,” Eddie said, but you shook your head. “I want to be alone.”

“I don’t care,” Eddie said with a frown. “I’m not letting you walk home after regaining your memories and had such a shock. What if something happens? No, get in the van. I’ll drive you. We don’t have to talk if you don’t want to, but you’re not walking.”

A part of you wanted to smile, both at his stubbornness and with how he cared for you. But the rest of you were still so shaky after everything that you just pushed it away.

A little while later you sat in your room, back at your desk with the photo album in front of you. Eddie had kept his promise and not talked to you the whole way home, even though he had glanced over at you at least one time every minute.

Despite having your memory back completely you felt more confused than ever.

Thankfully your mother had gone to the grocery store, thinking you were spending the day with Eddie, so you didn’t have to go through the roller coaster to tell her you were back to normal.

You weren’t sure what to do with Eddie. Remembering how he had treated you when he got together with Chrissy and his reaction when you told him how you felt about him… it made you feel heartbroken all over again but also angry.

And then… then you remembered how he had supported you and stood by you these last weeks, never quitting on you despite you not remembering anything about him, no matter how he had tried.

It felt like your head was about to explode. This was just too big and complicated for you to take on by yourself.

Usually you went to Eddie if you needed advice and talk something out but obviously that was a no go.

You didn’t want to talk to your mother either, it was enough you had to tell her your memory was back – your parents had been through hell, probably more so than you these last couple of weeks, you didn’t want to worry them even more.

After some time of contemplating you decided to call Steve. He was Eddie’s friend, he was your friend, and he knew the history between you two. He seemed like a good choice.

Steve didn’t dawdle, he arrived less than twenty minutes after you hung up. The first thing he did when you opened the door was to give you a big hug.

“I’m so happy your memory is fully recovered,” he told you with a smile. “Although I still would’ve hoped you forgot about me being King Steve forever.”

You couldn’t help but chuckle at that as you two walked up to your room.

You and Steve sat at the floor on your bedroom, backs leaned against your bed as you told him about the moment when you remembered everything, your reaction to Eddie, and how you felt so lost on what to do now.

Steve was quiet for a moment, running a hand through his hair, clearly deep in thought.

“You know I think what he did to you was really shitty. I seriously could have beaten him up for being so insensitive,” he told you, making you snort.

“But, he did tell me the same story – that even before you crashed into the tree he was imagining his life without you and without Chrissy. It was you that he almost broke down over losing. And this whole time… please forgive me for this, Y/N, but I actually told him that perhaps he should give you some space, do something else when the time went on and you didn’t remember a single thing about him. It was slowly draining him, he… he couldn’t fall asleep without looking at old pictures of you, crying.”

You were shocked. “Really?”

“Yeah. And – let me just say I didn’t exactly agree with that either – but he didn’t even look at Chrissy after your accident. Couldn’t stand to be near her. I think… I think he felt like it was his fault, what had happened to you, because he had been with her.”

“But I didn’t want him to do this because he felt guilty!” you protested.

“That’s what I said too, but he insisted that’s not why. And you know what? I believed him.”

Steve smiled at you and patted your shoulder. “Y/N, love is not easy. Everyone keeps saying it is but it’s really a fucking mess. When I was with Nancy I spray painted the sign of the cinema, calling her a slut. All because I thought she had cheated on me. The first girl I loved and I did that to her.”

You shook your head. You remembered that very clearly. It was before you and Steve became friends but you had still heard about it from the others.

“What I’m saying is… yes, Eddie was a goddamn idiot. But he realized he was and what he did wrong. And he has tried to make it right, and he will keep trying to make it right, if you let him. So… only you can decide whether you want to forgive Eddie or not, Y/N. But… perhaps you should try and do what he did. Try imagining the rest of your life without him. Does that feel like something you would be okay with?”

Your felt your breath hitch and your stomach turn into knots. A life without Eddie? It felt like… like suddenly the same feeling from your memory loss was back. Only now it wasn’t the past you missed but the future. It was only blank.

“No,” you whispered, your voice trembling.

“Then there’s your answer,” Steve told you softly.

Steve drove you to the trailer park and you walked up to the Munson’s trailer and knocked on the door.

Eddie opened, and you got the feeling of dejá vu from the last time you had come here. But Eddie sure looked different.

He looked as if he had cried, his hair a nest, as if he had ran his fingers through the curls multiple times, his knuckles bruised as if he had punched a wall.

“Y/N?” he wondered in surprise when he saw you.

“Hey,” you said, smiling weakly. “Look, Eddie…”

“Is this the moment where you… you’re going to tell me that you never want to see me again?” Eddie interrupted, his voice trembling, and it honestly broke your heart.

“No,” you told, reaching out a pushing a curl out of his face. “I… I’m still quite angry with you for what you did. But… it feels like this whole thing, what happened… it was some sort of lesson for both of us. A lesson for you to have me forget you. And a lesson for me, how it would feel to have no connection to you. The feeling, when I think back of how it felt, not knowing everything that has happened between us… it was horrible. I don’t want to be without you again, or ever forget you again. Not even the stupid thing you did, even though it makes me want to shake you.”

Eddie let out a gasp and then he all but squished you against him, holding you so hard you were sure you would have bruises.

“Oh, sweetheart…” he whispered, carefully kissing your temple. The bruises were healed but he remembered them all too vividly, kissing every spot where they had been.

“I’m so sorry for what I did. And for how I behaved when I started dating Chrissy. I just… I guess I got caught up with how it felt that someone popular actually wanted me. And in the back of my head I always thought you and I would have more time. I was an idiot, I know that. I will never make that mistake again.”

He inhaled before he continued: “And I’m so sorry that I never realized… that you loved me. I… I wished I had realized it sooner but I didn’t…”

You shushed him. “I know. That’s what I mean, that maybe the accident happening… it was a wake up call for both of us.”

Eddie nodded. “Yes. I’ve always loved you, sweetheart. But it’s more than that. You… you’re my person. The reason why it has never worked out with any other girl. Why I couldn’t see a future with Chrissy. Because you were the one.”

Now it was your turn to blink back tears.

Eddie suddenly pulled something from his pocket. Your eyes widened when you saw it was the dried flower from the scene of the accident.

“I found it in the van, on the passenger seat,” Eddie said. “I want you to have this and save it. As a reminder, that you will never forget me again. And as a promise from me, that I will never forget you’re the only one I want.”

You smiled, and placed the blue Forget-me-not behind your ear.

“The only one?”

“The only one,” Eddie promised, sealing it with a kiss.

please, like, comment and reblog!

Your likes are wonderful but reblogs expand my reading circle.

@ali-r3n @quinnyficsy @animechick555 @h-ness1944 @eddie-is-a-god

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@amandahobblepot @xplrnowornever

[itwasrealtome]

THIN ICE

Olivia Benson x fem! reader

⚠️ DO NOT READ IF THIS MIGHT TRIGGER YOU

ANGST | Olivia Benson x fem! detective reader | Masterlist

Summary : Detective Y/N Y/L/N, part of Olivia Benson’s Special Victims Unit, faces a life-threatening situation during a suspect’s arrest, chasing this one into an ultimate falls to his death. Injured but alive, Y/N finds herself in an hospital room, receiving stern words from Olivia about her reckless actions.

Content Warning : Mention of stimulants to stay awake | Mention of a breakup | Mention of police work | Mention of jumping off a building | Some police man being a jerk | Usual SVU talk : Abuse, murder, violence, weapon and kidnapping | Y/N getting into a fight | People falling from a building | Injuries | Death | Hospital | OLIVIA BEING MAD | HEARTBREAK

A/N : Hello my loves. I'm finally sharing this first Olivia X reader with you. I hope you like it. Please let me know what you think. There are a few people I can't identify in the taglist, I'm sorry.

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This afternoon, the streets seemed even more crowded than usual. The vehicles flooded the roads, coming from every corner and blocking the main way out.

Behind a queue of about ten of them, a police car came to a sudden halt. The alarm was on, and the blue and red flashing lights blinded anyone who looked in that direction.

But no one moved.

Not even the sound of a horn persuaded the citizens of New York to get out of the path.

Amanda’s grip on the wheel only tightened. She had never been able to understand the reason behind people’s insensitivity to this kind of thing. It was such an easy thing to understand. Besides, someone’s life often depended on it. Yet, there she was, turning furiously midway, her partner gasping in surprise, her shirt now stained with hot coffee.

— Dude, can’t you just warn before doing that kind of thing?

The blonde gave a brief glance to her passenger. She expected to find her glued to the door, her fingers clenched around the top handle, but she didn’t.

Y/N was desperately trying to absorb the contents of her cup on her worktop. The wipers provided with her order, finally finding their use.

While most people would have been annoyed about staining a piece of clothing, the young detective was not. She seemed much more upset about losing a few drops of her beverage. The former could still be replaced, but the latter was definitely needed.

— Sorry about your shirt.

— Yeah, well you owe me a coffee.

The driver’s smile only widened when she heard her partner muttering complaints. She knew her well enough to say that it had nothing to do with that slight accident. It was cute. Of course, it was. But Amanda could see through it. She knew it had nothing to do with the coffee. Sure, the days were long and their job involved finding stimulants to stay awake, but Y/N was never acting like that. Something was different. And who better to notice than someone who practically lived with her?

— Sure you’re okay?

— Rollins, it’s just a shirt. I think I can get over it.

Amanda gave her a knowing glance. She expected this kind of answer from the young officer. Everyone knew what kind of person she was.

Committed, she was always the first to arrive at the precinct and the last to leave. She was practically married to the job by now. And though Kat had trouble following orders, Y/N did not. She was the perfect partner. Amanda couldn’t remember a time when Y/N had lost control. But these days, everything seemed to fall apart.

It began with a couple of small comments, here and there, a bit too harsh coming from Y/N’s mouth. Next up, her silence during the team talk was a concerning factor for Amanda. If anyone always had something to add to the investigation, it was her. This ranged from a simple detail no one had noticed, to scientific or sociological facts. It was often complicated to keep the detective quiet, so her lack of involvement was bound to catch the eye. That and the fact the blonde had seen her leave the bunks two mornings in a row at the exact same time.

Sure, it was just the addition of minor details. But the older woman’s gut was not wrong, not about this. Something was wrong with her partner. And it had nothing to do with a simple lack of caffeine.

— Oh, don’t give me that kind of look.

— But you’re not telling me the truth, Y/N/N!

Y/N huffed quietly. At times in her life, she hated being around people whose job was to investigate. She cursed them all equally. She just couldn’t help herself the last few days. Her anger was aimed at a specific and unique person, but that person being in law enforcement themselves, it was almost overwhelming to go to work every day. Time seemed to run too slowly there. The only moments she enjoyed were those outside the building. The cold New York weather allowed her to clear her mind and take a deep breath. And she always had something to do, after all the city never slept.

—Like you don’t keep anything to yourself, huh?

Amanda faintly spluttered. Everyone knew she had had difficult times, but she wasn't the only one. And now that she was honest with herself, she knew she had made mistakes. One thing’s for sure, she did not want her partner to replicate these.

— I made some mistakes, most of them I don’t want you to repeat.

— I seriously doubt you did this one.

That was all she could get out of the young detective. Amanda knew it as she watched her turn toward the window. The mere reflection of her face gave her a glimpse of what she was really feeling inside, a sweet mixture of anger and bitterness. Whatever the problem was, it wasn't something they could fix with a drink. And this worried the blonde even more.

— Just promise me you won't do anything stupid.

These words captured the passenger's interest again. She arched an eyebrow at her partner, a smile forming at the corner of her lips. Knowing their duo’s dynamics, she had dozens of retorts on the tip of her tongue, all of them a little more mischievous than the last. Instead, she just shook her head gently. Amanda didn't have to know how upset she was about the whole thing. She didn’t deserve to worry so much. And Y/N certainly had no right to be such a burden to her partner.

— Like what? Jumping off a building? y/n chuckled at the blonde’s glare. Relax. I won’t do anything of that kind, I promise.

At that very moment, the young detective genuinely meant it. She had not gotten up with such an idea in mind. If jumping off a building was regarded as a very stupid gesture, she considered her routine more so.

It was in the way the precinct’s bunks were beginning to feel like home. And how she spent every second of her days with the badge on her waist. She had no idea when she had last stepped into her apartment for more than a shower. Her desk was overflowing with paperwork and books in which she always found a way to bury herself. It was much more than a way to distract herself. At all costs, she avoided raising her head, out of fear of meeting the gaze that froze her every time. The path she was on was, for that matter, significantly more dangerous than whatever stupid thing Amanda was thinking about.

But she could not say that to her.

To anyone, actually.

— Weren't we just called to make sure that this jerk wasn't prowling around the residence?

In any other context, Y/N would have felt like a fool. Her back nearly arched as she tried to make out what was going on in a street they weren't even close to yet. She may have lacked sleep and insight into her personal life, but her cop intuition never failed her.

— You'd be sure of that if you'd listened to a single word the captain said.

— Something’s wrong.

Amanda brought them to the next intersection before momentarily stopping the car. The sight over her partner’s shoulder sent a chill down her spine. Despite years of experience, she couldn’t help but feel a rush of adrenaline every time. The crowd of cops down the street certainly wasn’t helping. They were everywhere. Mostly hidden behind their vehicles. But their vests did not go unnoticed and neither did their weapons pointed at a specific target.

— Crap, I hate when you’re right about this stuff.

— Hum…what was that you were saying about our captain again? y/n faced her friend with a teasing smile on her face. She couldn’t help herself. Always listen to what sh–

The sudden acceleration of the vehicle silenced Y/N. She felt grateful once again that her belt was keeping her safe. No day went by without her being in some kind of danger, but she never thought she’d have to worry about dying while Amanda was behind the wheel.

— Would you please stop doing that? cried the younger detective, her hands still clutching the top handle. And since when do you drive so badly? Damn it.

— Guess now you’ll stop driving like a maniac if I let you get behind the wheel.

The door swung shut before she could react. She stepped out of the car herself and walked over to Amanda. A vest was tossed in her face before she could even think about opening her mouth. But anyone who thought she would have given up so easily was wrong.

— I do not drive like a maniac.

Her friend gave her a knowing look as she closed the trunk. Now was definitely not the time to have this kind of conversation, but Amanda was glad her partner hadn’t lost everything that made her the person she was.

She was relentless, both in her work and in her personal life. To be defeated by a suspect in an interrogation room was a rare occurrence. Within the profession, many officers wondered about her career choice. They could imagine her leaving the field to terrify judges in a courtroom. Perhaps because they were themselves scared to death to face her. Seeking victory in a debate with a woman like Y/N was a waste of time. She knew when she was wrong, and would always acknowledge it. Nevertheless, she also knew when she was right. And in those moments, Amanda was the first to grab a bag of popcorn.

— That you do.

The detective’s hands found the velcro on the vest from memory as she was too busy glowering at her friend. The protection weighed on her shoulders. It was almost enough to give her a reason to fall apart. That, and the weight of life that was beginning to take its toll on her.

Slightly defeated, she stomped over to Amanda to catch up with her. She knew the other detective was right. Her anger was evident in the way she drove. Since then, she was assigned the role of co-pilot. It was okay. But she loathed being deprived of her usual distraction. It was starting to loop in her mind. She needed a way out.

— Detective Rollins and Y/L/N, Special Victims Unit.

Amanda shoved her badge in the man’s direction, half-expecting him to tell her to piss off. He dominated the scene with his large stature and a rank evident to all. The rookies were following his orders and keeping their mouths shut. Something that obviously wouldn't work with Olivia Benson-trained agents. He didn't seem to mind, guiding the two detectives as close as possible to the scene. But then, the mere idea of having to send men into the building made him raise his chin in an authoritative, disapproving manner.

— Our only witness is trapped in this building, Rollins began the fight, finger pointing accusingly. I don't care how, I want that man in custody.

If one of them had looked up for even half a second, instead of fighting over who had the biggest –which was obviously Y/N in this situation– they might have been able to stop the young detective in her tracks. Amanda had had enough of listening to the man's whining as he waved his rank in her face. And her colleague, the one she was supposed to look after, was tired of simply waiting.

As discreet as a mouse in the middle of the city, Y/N circled the building and quickly found a fire escape. It wasn't exactly what she'd had in mind when the impulse to walk into the building first came to her, but she couldn't really say she'd given it much thought. With a bit of imagination, and a little help from a trash container, she managed to pull herself up to the top. Now, maybe that was the beginning of a crazy idea. She could already imagine her partner and captain scolding her - if, and only if, she managed to get out of there alive and intact.

At the top of the stairs leading to the third floor, the detective stopped dead in her tracks at the sound of their suspect's agitated voice.

Thomas Patterson, 45, suspected of having violently abused his wife before killing her, and of abusing his stepdaughter - Johanne Morales. The man's profile was clear: a respectful-looking husband and father-in-law, loved by all, carefree, but once the door was closed he turned into a control freak with urges he simply couldn't escape. He clearly hadn't planned to kill his wife. The autopsy had revealed signs of haste and mistakes that a man like Patterson would never have made if he had prepared properly. But he had made mistakes. His blows had been too violent, Johanne had interrupted him, and he'd had to finish the job quickly - too quickly, in order to hide his crime.

Y/N had studied his profile carefully. That's what she did best, that and avoiding her captain. She knew he was restless, nervous, ready to do anything to cover up his actions. The final piece of the puzzle was to eliminate the only witness, the one who would go all the way to court to see him take the fall. She had an advantage over him. She was there, so close to the goal, and he was unaware of her presence. At least, that was until Amanda's voice came through the radio.

— Y/L/N, you've got two seconds to get your butt over here.

The young detective could have banged her own head against the wall. Boy, had she been stupid on that one. She clenched her jaw, the urge to bite her fist growing cumbersome as she prayed Thomas hadn't heard. But he definitely did.

A front door opened slowly, the creaking hinges betraying the building’s condition. The man was probably armed, the sound of the guard echoing in the empty corridor. Each of his steps shook the wooden floor and sent a current of adrenalin through Y/N's veins. He was getting closer. She could smell him and his perfume. Him and her fear.

As soon as he was close enough to round the corner of the stairwell, the young detective took this as her cue. She charged at the man, her hands reaching for the 9mm held firmly in his rough, bleeding hands. In a split second, the magazine slid out and collapsed on the floor. She sent it tumbling down a few steps with her boot, before landing a knee into the suspect’s parts. This only confused him for the briefest moment. He was on her again before she could even flinch. Her body hit the wall with a heavy thud, the vest shielding her body from the heavy impact. However, the man’s hands found her neck and tightened their grip, pulling her head violently forward and then pushing it back, slamming it against the concrete wall.

He repeated the motion twice more, the detective’s pleas of pain provoking a feeling he himself could not begin to describe. Y/N wasn’t done with him yet. He clearly wanted to lash out at a woman and had a nasty habit of underestimating them all. Only, today wasn’t his lucky day. He was forced into the apartment where he had deliberately tied up the young Johanne. It was his turn to bang into something. The dresser barely tilted behind him, but the vase crashed hard against the top of his skull. He felt the water run down his face, the smell of freshly bought flowers wafting through the air.

Back in a corner, Johanne tried desperately to struggle out of her bonds, her words puffed out by the duct tape over her mouth. She could only witness the struggle between her back-up and her assailant. Watching as Y/N unloaded all her pent-up anger on the man who had dared to cause so much harm. In one smooth motion, Thomas grabbed the detective’s gun, a triumphant glint in his eyes. Hope was soon lost, his chances of getting out of there alive and free close to zero. His opponent was relentless and had no intention of letting him slip away. His only option, he realized, a flash of light reflecting off the window, was to drag the detective with him in his fall.

Outside, Amanda was still arguing with the man in charge of operations. He hadn’t given up and neither had she. Only when, as the argument continued to escalate, gunshots were heard, followed by the shattering of a window pane, did they come to an agreement. The plan didn’t even have time to take shape before two bodies flew out of the building.

First, the blonde saw the man she recognized as their suspect crash hard to the ground, the collision knocking him down instantly. Then came a tremendous thump and the shrill sound of a car alarm. Straight ahead of her, on one of the patrol cars, had landed Y/N. The height of the fall meant that the roof of the vehicle had been crushed and some of the windows smashed. That wasn't what Amanda was most worried about. Her partner, the one who'd promised her she wouldn't do anything stupid – like jumping off the third floor of a building, was sprawled motionless on the broken glass, blood on the back of her skull.

— Oh my God, Y/N, in one stride, she was as close as she could get to her friend. Call an ambulance. Now!

For once, the man made himself useful, radio in hand, as he asked for help. He now stood with one, maybe two, even three victims to deal with if the detective didn't make it. He could already imagine the damage it would do to his career. Besides, he knew Captain Benson very well and had no desire to mess with her.

Needless was his worry. The more Amanda studied her friend, the more she realized how lucky she’s been. Y/N was simply stunned, staring at the New York sky with an uncharacteristic intensity. She began to laugh, full-throated, heartily. It was probably the adrenaline pumping again. Tears joined the party, leaving funny marks on her bloody cheeks. Suddenly, she remembered.

— Johanne. She's alive. Up there. Y/N looked up at Amanda expectantly. She needs help.

***

Captain Olivia Benson had seen enough in her career not to let anxiety get the better of her. She had been beaten, kidnapped, almost died and dragged through the mud in front of an entire courtroom. She had reached a point where facing certain types of suspects no longer made her lose her footing.

But someone was bound to make her lose it.

Briskly, almost to the point of knocking herself off her feet, she made her way through the corridors of a hospital she knew all too well. The distinctive clatter of her heels against the floor blended perfectly with the incessant beeping and distant hubbub of such a place. She wasn't there to see a victim, as she often was. Her hasty and agitated demeanor only aroused the suspicions of the medical staff who had crossed paths with her so many times. It wasn't just a professional matter.

It hadn't been for a long time.

When Olivia reached room 212, she didn't spare a moment's hesitation. One of her youngest detectives and latest recruit was sitting wisely on the edge of the bed, her legs wriggling in the air like a child's. A nurse was visibly busy behind her, dropping more and more glass flakes into her tray as she went. She leaned against the doorframe, arms folded tightly against her chest, eyes focused on the sight that made her stomach hurt in spite of herself.

She watched as Y/N's chest, covered in dried blood, continued to pulsate with every breath, as hematomas were already starting to spread across her face and torso, and as her plain face twisted in pain as soon as the nurse reached for another piece of glass. Just a few days ago, her first instinct would have been to rush to her protégé’s side and calm the agony she knew to be growing in her heart. But she'd vowed to keep her distance and stay in her current position: Captain Benson, unit chief.

All too quickly for the young detective's liking, the nurse finished her treatment and left the two law enforcement agents behind. Olivia had had the decency to wait until the door was closed before lashing out at her, which didn't stop Y/N from rolling her eyes. She'd already imagined this conversation - or rather, monologue - and knew she wouldn't come out of it unscathed. She'd probably lose her badge. No matter, she'd already lost her heart.

— Have you completely lost your mind? You could’ve been killed.

This was the cue for a lengthy sermon that she couldn't escape. The words left Olivia's mouth at a speed that seemed unbearable. She paced back and forth, her arms stretching out in waves of frustration and indignation, her cheeks rosy with emotion. She'd done some stupid things herself when she was just a rookie, but throwing herself off the third floor of a building had never been on the list.

— Are you done? y/n arched an eyebrow as Olivia finally paused. I saved a life today. While Amanda and that jerk were fighting over who had the biggest, which apparently I did.

— No, you refused to follow orders. Not only did you put yourself in danger, you put everyone's lives in danger. Heaven help us again that you were wearing your vest, otherwise it could have been a lot worse.

— I don't know why you care so much, you're just my boss!

Although these words were intended to hurt Olivia, it was Y/N who took the brunt of the blow. It was one thing to know that their relationship had been reduced to this, but it was quite another to admit it in person. The brunette was no longer entitled to worry so much, to ask her to watch out and send her a text as soon as she got home. Whatever had been was no more.

— Right, Olivia broke into an almost scoffing snort. Let me tell you, as your captain, that you won't be leaving the precinct for a long time.

— You’re benching me? Liv, you can’t do this!

— What you did was completely irresponsible. You don't want to follow orders, fine. But you're not leaving this desk without my permission.

The young detective had been holding her breath for a long time– far too long. She'd spent days avoiding conflict, lamenting in her corner, mourning the end of a story she'd thought would last forever. It wasn't just about what had just happened, it was something else, something more personal. She felt as if Olivia had no idea how to express her concern, as if her only option was to play the role of the big bad boss. But she was tired of hiding, of running away, of avoiding confrontation.

— Breaking my heart wasn't enough for you, uh? She rose from the bed, hastily putting on her jacket. If you want me to leave the squad, just say so.

For the first time, she faced her head-on. Head held high, eyebrows furrowed in frustration, ready to stand on tiptoe if that would help reach the brunette's height. She faced those brown pearls with all the courage she had left, her own eyes misty with tears she'd never let flow. This was it, so close yet so far, two souls who knew each other becoming strangers once again.

Olivia reached out with a last ounce of regret, brushing away a tear that had escaped down the young detective's cheek with the tip of her thumb. Her heart urged her to do more, to embrace this bruised woman, to bring her all the comfort she needed. She wanted to take Y/N home, wrap her in one of her shirts, tell her how much she loved her. In another life, where they were just two soul mates, where Olivia didn't have to worry about repercussions, whatever they might be. This was where she could find comfort.

— Go home. Take a few days. Get some rest. We'll talk about it when you get back.

The New Yorker had rarely seen a face shattered in a matter of seconds. Her words had urged Y/N to free herself from her hold, her head heavy and spinning from all the hassle and concussion she'd picked up from the blows. Her shoulder nudged her superior's as she walked by, a gesture of no little importance. She did not look back once to meet her former lover's gaze again.

Maybe she should have.

Maybe she would have seen the same love, the same tears, that Olivia saw in her eyes.

Maybe the ice wasn't so thin after all.

•••

Taglist: @electricboost @womenlovingwomen-imagines @hi-1-1-blog @emskisworld @enjoytheentireworld @arie109 @marvelandotheruniverseslover-adhd @philocalistwrites @wittygutsy @observeowl @ravennewlyn @tina-2005 @makkaroni221 @ssaaggwwaa @youdontknowwhotfiamm @mmmmokdok @hbkpop @micaluvssoccer @idk-whats-wrong-with-me-blog @nciscmjunkie @moonlightjxuregui @thefatobsession @12fluffybunny12 @scarletwitcher97 @thesamesweetie @idonothingallday @clozeliz @realgirlbossqueenslay @l4yne @rain-mikaelson @fanfiction-24824 @sammi1642 @inquisitive-nix @namelesscheshire

[goingmerryfics]

hi hi hello its me again :D another request if that's alright! could you do a chubby s/o with Kid and Killer? thank you for all your beautiful writing I enjoy it a lot!

Chubby S/O w/ Kid & Killer 

Content: Gender neutral reader, very light nsfw elements

Notes* Welcome back :P glad to have you! I was trying to be really careful with the wording on this because for some it can be a sensitive subject. Heed the contents anyway.

Kid

Pinches your cheeks ALL THE TIME

Which ones? You decide

But for real, this guy grabs your ass all the time

He doesn't care that you're bigger, but he speaks so bluntly that he will probably say something insensitive. He doesn't mean it at all though- it would be some offhand comment that was worded wrong and later confuses him as to why you're upset

He won't apologize- it's Kid, him apologizing is unheard of -but he will do something special to try and make it up to you, like make you a small gift

He would let you use his clothes. He's a tall guy who's built bigger too, so if they fit you well enough then he'd like to see you in them

If you wanted to lose weight, he would be the best workout partner. He'll yell at you the whole time, but in a motivational way!

“Don't pussy out! Keep going! One more push-up!”

‘One more’ was 15 minutes ago

He pushes you to your limits in a way that somehow helps you two develop a bond with each other 

Gives you shit if you skip leg day

If that's not your priority, he would probably suggest it once, call you weak for passing, then never bring it up again 

Won't admit that he loves cuddling with you. You're extra soft, so he likes to lie his head on your chest or stomach

Killer

He loves you exactly the way you are.

Never insensitive towards you, and sticks up for you against any comments that people might make in ignorance, whether on his crew or not

He loves to hug you, hold your hands, and touch you in any sort of way so he can feel your warmth

He'll pick you up if you let him

If you wanted to lose weight he would make sure to start with your meals- making sure they're delicious, fresh as possible, and much healthier than the usual garbage that the crew eats for meals. He'd even eat the same thing with you so you don't feel left out

He'd also be a great workout partner, but he's on a completely different level than Kid. He'll encourage you less than scream at you, giving you praise and compliments the whole time

But if you weren't interested then that's ok too. He likes you no  matter what

Personal headcanon is that he prefers chubby partners

He's always trying to be hyper aware of the kinds of words he uses not because he feels the need to tip-toe around you, but because he'd feel awful if he hurt your feelings by accident. He'd throw himself off the ship if he made you frown even a little bit

He'd be so quick to come to your side if you were feeling insecure, happy to give you all sorts of kind words to make you feel better

[btnclmrttn]

if it's alright may i request saitama, genos, and garou with a fem reader with massive tits? like just how would the boys react (nsf/w mixed w sfw hc's pls :D) to a reader with the big naturals, which if you do this request tysm!! :D

aight bruh. I have experience in this field

If he had a Big Tittied S/O

~~~~

SFW

He don't like you borrowing certain t-shirts cause you stretch them out and make that weird sag in the front. He specifically got 2 shirts a couple sizes up to avoid that

He comments often about your back hurting he doesn't know how you do it fr he feels bad

Crumb magnets, we can all agree. Always says some shit like, "Saving some for later?" when you eat something that he knows will cause that. Definitely laughing at you

N/SFW

Hope u like breast/nipple play bc it's basically mandatory for him (with consent ofc) Sometimes he just does it cause he's bored. Like he doesn't want to have full on sex he just wants to play with them and get you going like organic stim toys

Falls asleep on them midway through sometimes. Best sleep he gets

The internal struggle between wanting to fuck you hard enough because the way they bounce is just cool to him and not wanting to hurt you/temporarily paralyze you waist down so you can't do shit

If you wear any sort of pretty lingerie/leather it's gurenteed you won't be going anywhere for a few hours. Or days. The outfit might be ruined too. He gets quite animalistic

SFW

He has the math on the actual size of them thanks to endless shameless staring to perform the calculations. So take him bra shopping with you, cause he WILL know what will fit or not.

Same with shirts he'll tell you if they'll flatter your shape or squish out wrong. And he don't care if you stretch his shirts out on accident

Somehow knows if someone is staring and will confront them loudly (a bit of possessive jealousy if you will)

N/SFW

I've HC that Genos loves all things squishy matter what part of the body it is, so he does like hugging/squeezing them. Not always in a sexual way, though. He's just been metal for so long he's forgotten what his own flesh felt like so it's more of fascination.

Aside from that he likes having you grind/hop on his dick while he's sitting up/against something, say like on a couch, as he sucks on your tits

How he had the conversation of getting micro vibrators installed in his fingertips, you'll never know. Might have installed them himself to avoid that explanation. Very handy for universal use!

You got polka dot tits always. That's where most of the hickeys go. You can't wear low collar nothing for SHIT. It might be done on purpose

SFW

Dude is insensitive to how sensitive tiddies can be, pain wise. He likes fucking around and squeezing/poking them to get on your nerves. It's recommended if he keeps up his bullshit to punch him in his own tiddy.

Missing a bra? He's wearing it and waiting for you to notice. Always in the outside of his clothes or his head over his hair

He never realized how useful they were at holding shit and insists you help him with looting shit from places, or stores.

N/SFW

Absolute tits dude hands down he's got mommy issues. They make him more submissive if he focuses on them too much. So while he likes teasing/sucking them, if he gets too into it he starts switching up

While his preference is being on top, he can't help but watch how they move when you're on top. It's a consistent internal struggle. The visual of it makes him cum faster

Same with boob jobs, he's not lasting more than 3 minutes max. Essentially, big tiddies are the magic to get you a very whiney, submissive bitch if you choose embrace that power

He likes cumming on them so whether it's oral or vaginal/anal he pulls out to cum on them

(edit: corrected the spelling and took out "bitch" because y'all ain't bitches)

[fancyfeathers]

I'm Bad, But Then You're No Prize Either Yandere Wriothesley x reader, songfic

part three to this (1 and 2)

This is about Wriothesley’s darling, told more from a 3rd person, following him

When I was a babe, I fell down in the holler

When I was a girl, I fell into your arms

Wriothesley had a meeting with Neuvillette today mostly about employment of guards and incoming inmates. Life was fairly normal for his standards anyway, expect the fact that both his and Neuvillette’s darlings were running around Teyvat. It had been two months now and it’s been a miracle that you two have avoided capture for this long, thanks to ties between nations there was a warrant out for your arrest in almost every nation so you couldn’t stay anywhere for more than a day or two at most. For your friend anyway, Neuvillette’s darling, it was becoming exhausting, at first she was a driven to be free as the anemo archon but now after months of running she became homesick for Fontaine. That leads to what  Wriothesley and Neuvillette are seeing now.

We fell on hard times and we lost our bright color

You went to the dogs and I lived by my charms

Standing in front of them here in Neuvillette’s office is the judge’s darling, soaked to the bone from the rain outside, heavy bags under her eyes, honestly looking like a wreck, all except the anemo vision that rested on her hip, a cruel reminder of what she’s giving up. The guards who escorted her in when she requested to see Neuvillette looked shocked that she just turned herself in. Wriothesley watched as Neuvillette stood from her desk to approach the shivering woman. He stood in front of her, towering over her until he placed a hand on her head, combing her hair out of her face. She broke down sobbing, collapsing in the judge’s arms. From where Wriothesley was sitting he could hear the soft words from the woman of, “I’m sorry.”

I danced for my dinner, spread kisses like honey

You stole and you gambled and I said you should

It took some time for her to calm down, being sat down on one of the couches in the office and wrapped up in blankets. Wriothesley wanted to ask where you were but thought it may be insensitive to how she may be feeling now. But luckily he didn’t have to wait long for that answer because luckily she told it on her own. “She’s saying goodbye to her family.” 

Something with hearing that hurt the duke, but it did tell him where you were. He excused himself from the room, leaving Neuvillette and his darling to talk and to go fin his own.

We sang for our suppers, we drank up our money

Then, one day, you left, sayin' I was no good

He knew where your family lived, in the countryside of Fontaine. He had visited your family after your trail and runaway, it was your mother and younger siblings, your father had died years ago in an accident, leaving you and your mother to look after the rest of the family. Wriothesley had guessed that’s where your tough exterior came from, having to be tough for everyone around you. So now he stood in the entryway of your family’s home, your younger sister had let him in and told him that you were outback talking to papa. He found his way to the back door and looked out the window and saw you sitting against a tombstone under a tree, you had your guitar in hand and then he saw it.

A pyro vision, pinned on your coat.

Well, alright, I'm bad, but then you're no prize either

Alright, I'm bad, but then that's nothin' new

“Just like her father.” Your mother had silently come up behind the duke, watching you as well with a sad smile. He looked over to the older woman, seeing the silent tears falling down her face. “He taught her everything, that guitar she is playing was his, same type of vision, the same fire in their souls.”

“I’m sorry for your loss ma’a-“

“He died years ago, don’t be, it was an accident after all.” She paused in her words before looking over at him, taking the duke’s large hands in her small, fragile, ones. “I know we won’t be able to see her for a long time if ever again, but do me just one thing.”

“What is it?”

“Don’t take her guitar and don’t take her vision, ever. We may still be alive, her siblings and I, but that is all she has left of her father and words cannot describe how much of him is in her.” That request could be tricky, the vision bit, the guitar you could always keep, but the vision could be dangerous. He thought about it longer, you couldn’t escape the fortress even with a vision, so what true harm could it do? 

“You have my word, ma’am.”

The older woman smiled and nodded before excusing herself as Wriothesley stepped out the back door and he could hear your mother’s silent tears become sobs. 

You say you won't love me, I won't love you neither

Just let me remind you what I am to you

He stepped out into the field of a backyard, and he sat down across from you and the tombstone you sat against. You didn’t stop your strumming of your guitar and you didn’t look up to him. You two just sat, not speaking a word, just listening to the music. When you did finish you didn’t look up at him or speak, just sat in more silence. 

'Cause I am the one who looks out when you're leapin'

I am the one who knows how you were brave

“We could come here on weekends, take a holiday. Visit your fami-“

“I’m not going with you, Wriothesley.”

There was a pungent silence for a long moment before he let out a heavy sigh and stood up, reaching down to pull you up.

“I’m afraid you don’t have choice- agh!”

When he grabbed your wrist in an attempt to pull you up, you reached a hand up to slap him across the face, but fueled by the power of your new vision behind it, leaving a burn on the side of his face. He staggered back for a moment, startled by the sudden act of violence. He quickly composed himself and looked up to see you, guitar thrown to the side, you standing up, fists literally blazing and an emotionless expression on your face.

“If I’m going to be locked up, I at least want a reason behind it and not a set up trial. I’m sure assaulting the Duke of Meropide would be enough.”

And I am the one who heard what you said sleepin'

I'll take that and more when I go to my grave

Before you were able to get another strike in Wriothesley slipped his leg under yours, knocking you off your feet and your head it the group with a thump, knocking you unconscious. Your mother was right, you had a fire in your soul, just like your father. He reached down and picked you up, holding you against his chest with one arm before reaching down again and picking up your guitar, swinging it over his shoulder with the strap. He didn’t go back through the house, carrying you around it, giving your mother a view of your unconscious body through the window as he carried you away. Maybe one day you two could come and visit, but that day wouldn’t be for a long time.

It's sooner than later that I'm six feet under

It's sooner than later that you'll be alone

You awoke, hours later, in an unfamiliar room and bed,nyour clothes were changed into pajamas, nothing scandalous or anything, comfortable if anything. Your head had been bandaged up from when it hit the hard ground. You sat up and looked around, you were in a room, a nicer room, you knew you were in the Fortress of Meropide, but this wasn’t a cell, you would much rather be in a cell. You went to stand and found you couldn’t, you looked to your ankle and found it on a very short chain attached to the end of the bed.

So who will you turn to tomorrow? I wonder

For when the bell rings, lover, you're on your own

You sat there, alone for a long time, hours passed or at least it felt like it. There was no clock in the room, so you were only left to your thoughts and the silence. Then the door opened and a slightly disheveled Wriothesley stepped in, he roomed tired. But when he saw you awake, he smiled and walked over to your side, sitting on the edge of the bed.

“Hope you got a good rest in, you were out for a pretty long time.” You didn’t respond, just sat in silence one more which drew a heavy sigh from Wriothesley. “Look I know I’m the last person you want to see right now but I’m the only person you’ll be seeing for quite awhile. Just so you know I’m not that bad, you still have your vision, it’s in the bedside drawer. Neuvillette has your friends, keeps it in his coat pocket.”

“Just fuck off.” You said, turning on your side so not to have to look at him. “This is your and Neuvillette’s faults, you did this.”

I am the one who you let see you weepin'

I know the soul that you struggle to save

You felt his hand intertwine with yours, forcefully, because when you tried to pull your hand away he only squeezed harder, to the point where it hurt slightly. You didn’t look over at him but you could feel his eyes on you and you could feel his hand loosen slightly and his thumb rub circles on your skin.

“I may be kind and I will always treat you well as long as you behave, but remember my kindness isn’t weakness.”

You heard his words and you saw your guitar in the corner. He would ask you to play sometimes, but you never would. You may be kind to your family but he is not your family, and you may weak to him but at least you would have the strength to say no.

Too bad I'm the bet that you lost in the reapin'

Now, what will you do when I go to my grave?

[eraenaa]

U.N.I. (College AU)

Aemond Targaryen x Reader Tag List

Synopsis: Where one of the sons of your mother’s estranged best friend attends the same university as you, and did I mention you were the reason why he lost his eye? 

Warnings: Mature +18, Stalking, Smoking, Semi-Public Sex

Word Count: 2930

You feel his stare again, but you look onward and focus on what your friend was saying. But still, the image of him in his leather jacket, staring at you, the way he held his cigarette and puffed out smoke from his thin lips, eye so openly closed on you— it was starting to unnerve you. A festering feeling spread through you that all you wanted to do was lay your gaze on him, something you swore you would not do. At least not so obviously. 

“He’s staring at you again,” Your friend sang, and you painted a confused look on your face. “Who?” You asked. Feigned cluelessness on your face. “Pirate boy,” they call him, and you always seem to scold them at their insensitive nickname. “Oh,” You said, but you never gave him a glance, even if you badly wanted to. “I’m telling you… you should approach him.” You shake your head and sigh. “I have to go— I have to study for a test,” You suddenly reasoned to change the subject. Your friends gave a nod as they puffed out smoke between their lips, bidding you farewell, and they shall meet you in the dining hall later. 

You walked through the halls fast; you always do. You just did not notice that another copied your steps. 

Aemond had been growing tired of your stubbornness. When he first saw you in the halls of your college, he was certain his eye had deceived him. But no, there you were, laughing carelessly with your friends. A beaming smile on your lips, eyes crinkling with joy. He sneered as you walked past him— completely disregarding him— completely forgetting about him. After that day, he was determined to catch your eyes, to make you look upon him again. Him, the boy you had maimed. 

You finally found a place to study in the library. Somewhere secluded, somewhere you would not be bothered. Staring hard at the reading you procrastinated to do, so now, you’re exhausting your mind as you tried to stuff it more with whatever was said by a dead scholar so many years before. You hunched over the bound book, trying hard to focus, but your eyes did not miss as a figure now stood before you. You cautiously looked up and were met with an indigo eye and frowned lips. “Is this seat taken?” His voice was velvety and cold. You quickly avoided his gaze, “Yes,” You said. “By whom?” He asked. “Me,” You replied. 

“You occupy two seats at the same time?” He asked. You were not looking at him, but you plainly heard the sneer in his voice. Your mouth opened and shut, mind searching for a response. “It is a simple question— yes or no?” He snapped, and you let out a harsh breath. “No,” You harshly bit on your lip as he took the seat across from you. Your knees brushed as he scooted closer to the table. You did not dare to look at him— something that he boldly did. 

Aemond watched you as your eyes were planted toward whatever book you were reading. His eye implored you to look upon him again. He enjoyed the look of surprise and panic in you. “Actually, I’m leaving.” You uttered lowly and quickly gathered your things. Passive and flighty when it came to him. Because guilt never sat well with you— and he was a great reminder of it. Aemond rolled his eye as you gathered your things. “So you can take my eye but cannot even sit across the man you have maimed?” You froze as the image of him as a boy, on the ground and clutching his face in pain, flashed through your mind. It had been years since the accident— an accident that was not entirely your fault, but you bore the guilt as if it were. You took a deep breath and stopped gathering your things. Eyes courageously set themselves upon the boy who smirked before you, enjoying the look of silent anger on your face. You quite had enough of fleeing and letting guilt consume you whole. 

Aemond hummed as you stayed and resumed your task. His eye observing you, his knees bouncing up and down under the table, brushing against yours. He missed you if he were being honest. You who had spent almost every single day with him since the two of you were born until you were both ten. Eight years spent apart. Eight years trying to pretend that neither existed and that neither missed the other.

You stayed there for hours, trying to read, and he stayed there for hours, watching you try to focus on your reading. You were genuinely clueless as to why he was doing such a thing. When you were finally done, you stood without uttering a single word. “Where are you going?” He asked with a raised brow. You debated if you should answer him. Why should you? But as your gaze went back to his, him who expected you to respond, you sighed. “Dinner.” You quietly muttered, and he gave a nod, standing as well. “You no longer talk much now, do you?” He asked as the both of you walked towards the dining hall. He knew the answer: you were oh so talkative when it came to your friends— a beaming smile always on your lips. A wheezing laugh would always find its way to you, but with him, you could barely speak two syllables. 

Aemond frowned as you gave no word. The boy sighed and pulled you towards an alcove. Shoving you forcefully against the curved wall, the hall was dark as it was dusk, and they had yet to turn on the lights. “Stop acting as if I had been the one to have wronged you,” He spat, eye-widening in anger. “You have wronged me!” You answered, trying to push him away as he encaged you with his body and the wall. “You were the one who has wronged me first! And you fully knew it was an accident!” You defended. Aemond clenched his jaw. “You were the one chasing me— running after me, trying to take revenge.” He gritted his teeth. “Because you were the one who took my knickers from my drawers! I was trying to get it from you. It was not my fault you tripped and maimed your eye on a rock!” You reasoned, your voice growing louder, catching other’s attention. “I had ceaselessly apologized— begged for your forgiveness for something that was not entirely my fault, but you had ignored me! You let them believe that it was entirely my fault!” 

Your ragged breathing mixed, your eyes closed on each other, your bodies flushed. You stared up at him with a glare. He stared down at you with a glare. The only thing that broke intense gazes was the sound of the dinner bell ringing. Sensibilities regained, and you pushed away your once closest friend. “That accident was years ago… let us just forget of it— let us just pretend that neither of us exist or know each other.” You sighed. “It is a large campus, Aemond. Surely we can avoid each other.” You proposed. He scoffed. “You would like that, wouldn’t you? Escaping, fleeing just like before,” He whispered. You froze as you realized his head was dipping down. “I shall be here constantly… everywhere you go, I shall follow, just to remind you how badly you have wronged me. You have taken from me— now it is my turn to take you.”  You frowned at what he uttered— a word missing from his statement. But you could not question him as he was quick to push himself away from your frame and walk away. 

Aemond stayed true to his word. Everywhere you turned, everywhere you looked, there he was. Him and his lingering indigo eye, him and his smirking pink lips. You sighed as you caught leather-clad arms once more. Take in a deep breath, cross your arms across your chest, and try to focus on the work of art in front of you. Trying to ignore the man who stood next to you, a bit too close for your liking. “Seriously? Even here?” You asked. You were hoping you would have some peace in the gallery, wanting to escape the thought of the papers you still had to write and the man whom you kept on trying to avoid. But whatever tactic you used to not let your paths cross seemed futile. He always found you. He always trailed you. 

Even at night— when you thought you were finally alone. His indigo eye followed you in sleep. Scenes that you will never utter— that you will never admit to bringing you pleasure in the dead of the night. The man who gave them to you in your dreams stood next to you, his eye finally not on you but upon the painting. “Do not flatter yourself, I came here for the paintings.” He quietly uttered. You blinked, heat rising to your cheeks as you gazed upon the side of his face. Aemond bit down his smirk as he saw an embarrassed blush rise to your cheeks. 

You let out a breath and mindlessly gave a nod, stepping away from Aemond. As being in his presence brought forth the dreams you had of him. The dreams where his lips were upon yours. Where his hands would explore your body, would tangle themselves in your hair, would grip your throat, would bring pleasure to your cunt. As you moved on to face a sculpture, the thought of Aemond only seemed to fester. You slyly cross your legs as you stand, regretting the decision to wear a skirt that day. 

Though Aemond said that he came to the gallery for the art, it was only partly true. He trailed you once more, following your scent that he had grown fond of over the days he would follow you. His eyes scanned your frame from behind. From the back of your head to the middle of your thighs where your skirt stopped. To your crossed legs where his gaze lingered. Aemond licked his lips and stood next to you once more. He would lie if he denied that he kept following you for the sole purpose of tormenting you for an accident that was only partially your fault. No, there was something else fueling him to keep on trailing you wherever you go. There was something else he wanted from you— and that something was not entirely revenge or justice. He simply wanted you. You were not the only one who had scenes of pleasure in the night. Aemond’s dreams of your lips, your taste, and your touch were a constant. Every single night as he drifted into slumber, the only thing in his mind was of you. Your lips upon his, your body flushed against his, your cunt clenching around him. 

Neither of you uttered a word. Your minds were filled with thoughts of desire, thoughts of need, and thoughts of sin. The air between the two of you was tense and growing warm. It did not matter that the air conditioner blared— it did not matter that it was autumn. The two of you who stood next to each other felt nothing but raging heat. 

You turned to your right, peaking a look at Aemond through your lashes. Aemond was quick to feel your gaze, turning to you. Indigo eye was dark and filled with something you could not decipher. No word was uttered, only needing bodies threading closer together until lips locked. You clung to him, pulling him close; his lips tasted of coffee and cigarettes. He smelled of citrus and spice. 

Aemond placed his hands on your ass, clutching hard the plump flesh. His tongue lapped against yours, tasting every part of you. Berries and mint on his tastebuds. The smell of peonies and peaches invaded him. “Aemond,” You called as your lips parted, both of you in need of air. You watch him shake his head and take hold of your arm. You let him drag you wherever; the only thing on your mind now was the lust you felt. The only thing on your mind was the want to kiss him again. Aemond pulled you towards an empty hall, an exhibit not yet open to the public. Your eyes scanned the room; paintings and sculptures that would intrigue her any other time bored your mind. All you wanted to do was drown in pleasure from the man who now began to place kisses on your neck. 

Your hand traveled down, cupping his hardened length through his trousers. A groan left his throat, eliciting even more wetness from your cunt. His hands undid the buttons of your shirt, forcefully yanking your brassiere down to reveal your tits to him, his mouth quickly closing in on the taut bud that hardened and pebbled because of his touch. “I need you,” You boldly uttered, not able to resist the tight need in your core. Your head tilted back; face pointed to the ceiling as he continued to nip and suck on your tit. Aemond smirked as your breast was still in his mouth; he felt you exchange your hand that cupped his length with your cunt, grinding upon his cock. You showing how truly in need you were. 

“Do you want me to fuck you?” He asked; you were quick to nod. A chuckle escaped him, a smirk rising to his lips as his hand trailed from your chest, venturing downward. Teasing you as his hand hovered over your dripping cunt. “Please,” You mumbled against his lips. “I thought you did not want my presence?” He teased, hand quickly grazing your cloth-bound cunt. “Please, Aemond… I need you— I want you.” You begged. That seemed to satisfy him. 

You whined as he moved you away from the wall he pushed you against. Dragging you deeper into the room. You were becoming crazed— desperate. You needed to feel released, and Aemond was taking his time to give it to you. You frowned as he placed you too, and upon a statute, confession took hold that you did not notice that he placed himself behind you. 

Your moan echoed through as his hand finally grasped your needing cunt, cold fingers met with the dripping wet heat that was for him. You hear him hum as his slender fingers run along through your folds. Desire mixed with your confusion as to why he placed you before the statue— man and woman of marble reaching for one another. Before you could ask him— before you could even utter another word, you heard the buckle of his belt hit the floor, his bare length pressed against your behind. He bundled your skirts up to your waist, and you could only wait in heavy anticipation for him to take you. 

His finger continued to draw circles upon your needing bud. His lips continued to torment the side of your neck, nipping and sucking, leaving his mark. You were ready to beg for him to give you more, no longer caring about how pathetic you were starting to sound. You could not utter your plea as Aemond, without any warning, bent you over and shoved his cock inside you. A squeal left your lips as pain mixed with pleasure. One of his hands continued to draw circles upon your cunt while the other found your neck. Grip tight, filled with pleasure. 

Aemond was merciless as he pounded at you from behind. Not caring that your slapping skin echoed through the room, not caring that you were spewing moans that rang in the halls. All he focused on was the feel of you, tightening and clenching upon his length. Warm and wet, needing and screaming for his name. You felt tears spill from the corner of your eyes as you were overwhelmed with pleasure. You turned your eye upward, gazing at the statue before you. Letting the man behind fuck you roughly. “Harder,” You asked, and that only made his desire grow. His hand on your neck tightened, and his fingers drawing circles grew faster. His length pushed deeper until you felt blood and both of your essences run down your thigh. 

Your surroundings were growing dark; the only thing you could see now was the statue of Psyche Revived by Cupid's Kiss. Your mind could not comprehend or think as to why Aemond chose that particular sculpture for you to look against as he fucked you. All your mind thought of now was how close you were to climax. Aemond let out a growl as you clenched painfully around him. “Aemond,” You called. And he moved your bent frame to lean against his chest. “Aemond,” You called once more. His lips found yours, nipping at your lower lip that cause a rush to go to your already peaking cunt. “Come for me.” He ordered. His hand moved from your neck to your breast to pinch the taut bud. “Aemond!” you called for the third time. Waves of pleasure hit the shore as you came undone in his arms— on his cock. 

Aemond let out a groan with his last thrust, his seed filling you but quick to run down your thighs. “I have told you that I will take you.” He whispered and nipped your ear. You could only let out a stuttered sigh and hoped that he would do it once more.

[koolades-world]

Can i ask For hc with BPD! Mc?:3

hi!! of course :)

please let me know how I did since I didn't know too much about bpd until I did research in preparation for this request. don't hesitate to tell me if something is wrong or inaccurate since the last thing I want is to be insensitive by accident

enjoy!!

Mc with Bipolar Disorder

Lucifer

his office is always open to you if you need silence or a place to get away

makes any accommodations you need at RAD

he himself experiences insomnia so if you're ever awake really late you can stay up together

while he often watches from a distance, he doesn't hesitate to act if you need something even if its a large or last minute request

Mammon

considering how poor his spending habits are, he understands you if you have poor impulse control to an extent

if you want them, he wouldn't mind sharing tips on how he manages himself

he also understands the urge to turn your life around at three am and then never complete the first task

will be by your side no matter what! <3

Levi

he lets you know often you can lean on him for support whenever you need

during a depressive episode, he's going to help you through it

you've helped him so many times when he thought nobody else would so he knows its time to return the favor

whatever you need, he's going to get it for you

Satan

like mammon, he somewhat understands to an extent

his rage can be random and onset quickly

since you arrived in the Devildom, he felt like he's changed for the better, and is by your side when ever you need it

embraces you for you since you did that for him, and wants to return the favor

Asmo

always checks up on you, whether you're doing good or not

maintains good communication with you and ensure you are able to speak to everyone you're close to often

if you're not feeling up to it, he helps you out with your self care and hygiene

he offers free hugs all the time so feel free to take him up on his offer <3

Beel

if you have a lack of appetite, at first, he didn't know exactly what to do

instead of forcing you to eat, he decides to bring you your favorites

he know everything isn't sunshine and rainbows and will be with you through your highs and lows

during manic episodes, he's the best to have by your side as he's so patient and cares about you

Belphie

while he himself experiences extreme lethargy, he can't help but grow concerned when you join him

when you accidently wake him up in the middle of the night with a new hobby you've started, he's not bothered

he's always willing to lend you a listening ear

if you need something, just say the word

[bonny-kookoo]

Hi Ms Bonny

So I remembered you said no one sends asks for the ilysib couple anymore, and I just had this idea last night but didn't have the energy to pick up my phone again💀

Okay so, basically kookie shaves his head right, maybe for the weather or his hair was damaged or I don't know really I'll need your creative mind for that part👀 and he becomes a little self conscious and oc comforts him by saying he's still😋 and he doesn't believe her. So she takes him out on a date and like before, everyone is looking at him and basically building his confidence back up.

PS I really hope you get this ask because I've sent some for this couple before and it was never answered

Tumblr sometimes eats asks, I'm so sorry :(

⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ──💜── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅ ── ⋅ ⋅

He's avoiding you- and that's just so not your Jungkookie.

You thought everything was going well between the two of you- but apparently something must've happened to make him so withdrawn again, refusing to see you, refusing to meet up, refusing to show himself. You're not sure what's wrong-

But you're about to find out.

"You know, I'll just camp outside then, I don't care!" You threaten, sitting in front of his apartment door, stubborn as ever- when his voice is finally heard.

"You'll laugh." He whines, before you can hear something slide along the door before it falls to the floor with a thud- he's probably sat down on the other side of the door. "You'll.. I look stupid." He says.

"Did you dye your hair or something?" You ask, and he's quiet, making you angry. "Jeon Jungkook you could've buzzed it all off and well full on Vin Diesel on me what do I care! Are you serious right now?!" You get up to knock on the door and right his doorbell again. "Open that goddam door, I'm worried about you, nerd!" You cry out again, even stomping your leg in anger.

"No, I'm.. I'm fine. Just.." he stumbles over the words, clearly panicking.

"I'm sorry." You say, and it's quiet. "I.. I'm sorry if my constant joking has gone too far at some point, if I made you feel like.. self conscious or something, I swear I never wanted to do that." You confess, feeling terrible. This must be your doing, right? It has to be your fault. Because you're insensitive as fuck, and you can't read a room, and you got way too comfortable with him and-

The door opens. He stands in front of you, beanie on his head.

"Its.. it's not your fault." He tells you. "You didn't do anything." Jungkook mumbles, and you can't help yourself.

You basically tackle the poor guy, door falling out of his grip and closing behind you, making you successfully infiltrate his home. He holds you because he's missed you too- he hates the fact that he couldn't have you this close for days by now, no physical contact with you whatsoever, no visual sight of you. It felt like torture-

But he just feels like he can't face you.

"Why are you doing this?" You whine, tears clear in your eyes, making your eyelashes already heavy with them. You're not even wearing makeup today, he notices. This must've really gotten to you.

You're still so pretty.

"What happened?" You worry, and he begins to bite his lips, a nasty habit he has whenever he's nervous. "Jungkook.." you say his full name, no variation of it, no silly petname.

He knows it's serious.

"I.. look stupid." He confesses. "I.. had an accident, a few days ago, in the bathroom." He sighs, sitting down on his couch with you, while you listen. "I slipped when I stepped out the shower, and hit.. my head on the edge of one of the cabinets.."

"Oh Jungkookie-" you whine.

"And- and they had to like.. cause my hair was so long they couldn't stitch it without, you know, shaving it, and it looked dumb when I came home so I thought might as well buzz it all off-"

You're quiet, staring at him.

"Are you okay now?" You ask, oddly serious.

"Yeah, they kept me overnight to make sure I was fine-" he answers, before you shove him, hard, angry.

"You stupid idiot!" You scold. "You're so dumb! What the fuck?!" You complain, angry tears in your eyes. "What the hell do I care about your hair?! You could've died or something, and all you thought about was how you could look to me? Am I that shallow to you?" You ask him, and he shakes his head.

He deserves this. You're right.

"No.." he denies, taking the scolding like a dog that's being told off. "No you're not. I just.. felt weird. Like I'm not.. fit for you anymore. You should have a nice looking boyfriend and all that, and you always said how you love my hair-"

"I love you most!" You whine, leaning forward to climb on his lap, and cling to him. "I love you, not your body. That's just.. that's just the only thing I can touch, so I want you to take care of it.." you explain into his chest. "..so it'll be here for as long as possible.. until we're all wrinkly and old.."

"Oh." He hums, realizing what you mean.

He's never thought about it that way. But you're right- he doesn't love your body first and foremost either, but you- your personality, your soul, your mind. Your body is simply the vessel you live in, and he'd want you to keep it up and running for as long as he's alive too.

"I'm sorry." He confesses. "I'll never do that again."

"I sure dare you to, I swear I'm gonna break in next time!" You threaten, letting him dry your tears before your hands reach for his beanie. "..can I see it?" You wonder, and he looks down, shrugging.

"I guess." He confirms.

The moment you skip his hat off, you search for something- finding the small stitched wound near the tip of his ear, making you immediately coo at it, fingers carefully touching it. "Does it still hurt?" You wonder- and he shakes his head.

"Just a little, if I lay on it or something." He admits.

"Oh my baby-" You whine, before you rub his head. "This feels weird though. How is it still soft?" You wonder, taking the pressure away from the situation, making him laugh. "And you honestly rock this look. Now you really do look like a guy who can throw a punch."

"..I can and will, for you." He mumbles, making you laugh again.

"Heh, and I lo~ove you for it!" You sing a little, kissing his nose before you kiss his lips a couple of times, cheeks held in your hands.

And he can't believe he's been living without this for just a week.

He never wants to miss you ever again.

[recently-reanimated]

This would be insanely hard to write, but I wish there was an in universe reason you can only have one companion at a time in the fallout games. Specifically, they all have beef with each other. Like Boone won't hang out with Cass over a dispute they had during a game of caravan. Cass won't work with Lily because she's freaked out by nightkin. Lily won't hang out with Raul due to a fight they had prewar. Arcade accidently says something insensitive about ghouls, so Raul won't travel with him. Arcade can't travel with Rex because he's allergic to dogs and so on.

[m1ssunderstanding]

Understanding Lennon McCartney Rewatch Part 4.3

Oof! Got him!

“She loves you and he loves him and they love each other”. You know when you've got something to say but you don't want it to look like you really wanted to say it specifically so you throw it in between two other things? No? Just me and John?

I'm obsessed with John just heaping praise on Paul in this interview. Every song the interviewer brings up it's “best” “my favorite” “all Paul” “good piece of work” “somewhere I have the tape of him doing it” “damn good” “one of his masterpieces” See also: Paul’s a good lyricist, he just doesn't try because he's insecure. And: one of the most innovative bass players of all time.

John mixing up In My Life and If I Fell “although I don't know why I'm confusing them, they're nothing alike but they have the same–” The same what? Same target? Same muse? Hmm? “It's really about–it's not about Cyn.” He's barely hanging on to not saying it here, like, by a gossamer thread. 

John confessing that the consistent character flaw of Paul's which hurt him ((hurt. Not annoyed. Not angered. Hurt.)) was insensitivity. Not bossiness or lameness or sneakiness. Insensitivity. What John couldn't handle in the end about Paul was that he wasn't aware enough of John's tender feelings. 

He's also so cruel in this interview. And what you've got to pay attention to is the theme connecting the songs he's cruel about: Let It Be (let John go) and The Long and Winding Road (the long and pointless fight). 

The Japanese Monk comparison doesn't quite land for me because it implies that John purposely broke up the Beatles because he knew they were at a peak and he wanted them to stay gold. And I think that's what John would like the story to be. It makes him feel better inside. It makes him look incredibly wise and courageous. But it's clear – John even stated it himself more than once on record – that the breakup was not purposeful or calculated. It was a terrible accident that nobody wanted, least of all John. 

More quotes to live by when examining John's post breakup “ow!”

I find it fascinating that John thought of Paul's and Dylan's lyrics as very similar and says so twice in this documentary. But nobody else ever draws that comparison. In mainstream thought, Bob Dylan is one of the greatest lyricists of all time if not the greatest (it's me. I'm mainstream. Subterranean Homesick Blues my absolute beloved.) and Paul is the worst lyricist to ever get successful. And you know what? I think Paul gets punished for being physically pretty and financially savvy, and I think in the exact same way his music gets punished for being melodically pretty and commercially successful. 

John about Paul's inscrutable messages in his songs: if one knows the person, one knows what's coming down. John in I Know (I Know): and I know. What's coming down. 

I will always love how he says in the same breath . . . “I've compared it to a marriage a million times" and "Paul and I were together.” 

You really do gotta be like “Johns say the darndest things sometimes.” I mean that's what Paul did, right? Because genuinely most of the time he's a fucking sweetheart. After he's sat there defending Paul's insane mourning bus movie, the interviewer asks him to compare himself and Paul. And after saying there's never been a question about commerciality, he says this. 

Nobody think about Paul writing “One of These Days” just before John's death then “This One” a decade later. Don't do it. I do recommend. 

Free as a Bird is such a beautiful song. It's a gorgeous melody, and it's got such complex emotions. He's still mourning something that was lost, but he's hopeful. He's on his way home. 

You all know that long distance interview Paul did right before John died where they bring up some of the awful things John said recently about him (ignoring the millions of loving and admiring things). When Paul's voice cracks and he looks up at the ceiling and struggles for a minute and the lights go out, I have a theory that it's one of their kids being protective. She was messing with the lights before to be silly and then when the bad question comes she turns them off again as a sort of protective sabotage. 

What If though? What If that's true? 

Quote of all time!!! “The person I actually picked as my partner, who I recognized has talent and who I could get on with, was Paul.” He doesn't say ‘as my sidekick’ or ‘running mate’ or ‘captain’s mate’ or ‘second string’ or any of those things that traditional Beatles fans tend to push on them. Partner. 

Serious question, because I swing all over the place as to what I think actually happened between John and Paul physically and emotionally. If we agree that Real Love is about Paul (a baby and another on the way lalalalalala farm . . . Just call him on the phone) Then what about this lyric? “Was I just dreaming (a word of theirs and something they thought they shared) or was it only Yesterday (Paul's biggest song) I used to hold you in my arms? Is that to be taken literally? John used to hold Paul in his arms? i.e. frequent hugging and cuddling?

The heart monitor cuts so harshly into John singing “Grow Old With Me.” As we see beautiful images of John and all the people he's leaving behind. I'm dry heaving. This documentary is so much more painful this time around than the first. 

Anyway I'm glad we got coverage of all the “for Paul” songs. Which. Btw fuck you Sean and Peter. You proved absolutely nothing.

[dnpanimationstudioclone]

Charlie’s Intentions

Awhile back I made a theory about why Charlie and Sev broke up(her secretly using him to try to find Lilith) and how the hotel could be a second attempt to reach out to her

Not trying to say she’s never done good things that help others or atleast tried to….but when you think of it, they’re often still to or for her benefit(for the hotel to work). Warning this goes DEEEEEPPPP!!!!!!!!!!!

Helping Sir Pentious even after the reveal(fav moments) Even after beign revealed to be a Vee spy, Charlie forgave him and let him have the chance to be a real guest….but that would be to her benefit(having more guests, especially those willing to go along with her activities). Many have pointed how quick she was to support Sir P, making Angel feel left out(I get both sides, on the one hand she def put a lot of attention towards Sir P and perhaps couldve been more supportive towards Angel like in the roleplay, but on the other hand, Angel at that time often made it VERY clear to their faces he didn’t believe in the plan or was interested beyond having a free room and going on the idea the pilot events still happened, AFTER THAT whole stunt at the terf war & News station, he’s pretty lucky Charlie didn’t just kick him out, like Vaggie probably would’ve wanted(can’t blame her though Angel def is not easy to her especially).

But that begs the question, did she let Angel stay and puts up with his behaviour as she genuinely didn’t want to give up on him, understanding redeeming him wouldn’t be easy or because….he was their ONLY client and didn’t want to risk losing that but now that there’s another and seemingly easier to work with client, ready to focus solely on him…was she just being innocently insensitive, not understanding how that hurt Angel or…was she honestly just more focused on making progress with anybody.

Was her putting Vaggie in charge of the trust activities out of a well meaning but misguided spur of the moment decision thinking they’d relate better to Vaggie as not jsut a sinner but also someone learning to trust them and vice versa…or was it to avoid screwing things up herself, as none of her past attempts seem to work a lot and figure Vaggie would have better luck as she’s able to control things, or if it didn’t work wouldn’t really cause any more damage to Vaggie’s already distant relationship with the gang. And only intervened when things were getting out of control and apologized to Vaggie as th least thign she’d want is her biggest help to go…

I don’t think we need to really get too deep into how she handled didnt go so well Ep 4. She never really thought much of Angel’s work situation and situation in general outside the hotel and the main motive for her going to Val was to get Angel more time for HER project(which wouldn’t have been so bad had it not ended how it did). During one of the sets she was advertising the hotel to a camera guy WHILE FILMING! And though the fire was an accident and careless OSHA, had she have just waited and focused on talking specifically about Angel to Val or had waited to talk with Angel when he returned, I think it’s safe to say a lot would have been different atleast. She did atleast seem, genuinely remorseful and wanted to make things right for unintentionally getting Angel hurt….or was it more about Angel being mad at her(not about making someone u care about angry at you via doing something to upset or hurt them and more about him not trusting her and potentially would reconsider being her client). Perhaps a mix of both?

Valentino-For all you know Amorcito, part of her screwed things up on purpose just so you wouldn’t try to get her to help beyond her stupid hotel 🏨 😈

Not 100% sure of the afternath(how fully aware she and the gang r of the situation, just know Val SUCKS and it’d be ideal to get him away). Did she talk to him about it after, did she ask the gang on what could be done, is she looking for ways beyond jsut the hotel to get him out, is she figuring that the best thing for her to do for Angel is to help him redeem and get into Heaven….or just focusing on her main goal, now seeing more motivation for Angel.

Was she really inspired by her father and his “dreams”, or figured by connecting to him in a way, he’d at least listen cause of his ego, being the King of Pride. She did still say “my people” not “our”.

Charlie was under the belief her dad was only in contact with her “when he was bored or needed something(not sure what bored could mean, maybe her not realizing he did want to check up on her). Didn’t call in over 5 months…whos to say she figure turn the tables. She only had gotten him involved when they were desperate and it was Vaggie who suggested his help.

Was Charlie just angry about the higher ups not knowing what gets someone into Heaven because of the potential implications of people who aren’t necessarily pure evil being damned to eternal blaze or even death because of this system….or also because she realized all the stuff she was trying to do to begin with could’ve been all for nothing, wouldn’t change things. Heck one could argue she was defending Angel from Adam because she had allowed him and the others to go to the club, perhaps wanted to give them a lil reward for the help so far and though it would’ve also kept them from being in or causing trouble(especially since she’s paying) while she and Vaggie were gone( another thing is perhaps her wanting to make up for ep 4 by letting angels friend take him and the rest out for a fun night, appease her own guilt)loss

Did she come to forgive Vaggie because she genuinely wanted to despite what she did and lying to her and that it’s part of her principles she promotes in the hotel like Rosie said(second chances) or because Rosie reminded her Vaggie’s been the one helping her throughout the story and coudlnt afford to stay angry with the war coming(Vaggie also brought weaponry too). Heck it was VAGGIE who explained things and made it clear to the gang this wasn’t their fight and had no obligation to risk themselves while Charlie ran off with Al, not even explaining what they’re doing.

I’m not trying to say Charlie’s some bad person who’s manipulating everyone. It’s clear she does have legitimate care for the gang and has had moments showing that, but you can’t deny there’s a lot that could be interpreted of having….ulterior motives. People often run by a bit of self motivation, we all need a little of that, it’s only a problem when u don’t consider how it could affect others, only focusing on your own goals and desires.

She’s not only not really thought a lot of the gang and their stuff beyond the hotel, but also def unaware how sinners are and hasn’t seem to done really solid research on humans or the concepts of redemption and rehabilitation. I don’t think she’s even asked them WHAT THEY DID TO COME DOWN TO HELL! She def didn’t seem all too interested in Missy mentioning how she knew Al back when he was alive. She also didn’t give her the same kinda introducing she did with Sir P. Granted she was busy with her dad but you’d think she’d have been atleast more interested.

Could one of the reasons that her methods and activities are kinda childish just simply because she’s very sheltered and naive… or that’s she’s simply scratching the surface to make the sinners seem good enough for Heaven so news will spread and Lilith…for all we know the day she helped Vaggie could…be more than meets the eye. Was she already out with the intent of trying to help sinners(her moms people) from the extermination or was there something else…(I like to imagine she was trying to help sinners💖)

Is her heart completely in the right place and just goes about things the wrong way…or could even her good intentions have an under layer of selfishness she doesn’t even realize that compromises the hotel’s goal of helping and healing souls. If this could be the case, could this reflection help Charlie grow and learn how to help sinners, being able to properly connect with them….or could this realization drive a genuine wedge between her and everyone

….perhaps leading to

What do u guys think? Could their be a bit of dark in her sweet apple core? really love to know💖🍎🍏