#or on like a tv performance

[uglypastels]

Its the night of the Battle of the Bands. Corroded Coffin performs as the final act. One of their better performances, not that audience cares.

As they finish their song, Eddie takes center stage for a dramatic bow.

Suddenly, gasps and screams errupt as a bucket falls down, spilling its content. It takes about a second to engulf Eddie in the thick red liquid, nearly blinding him as his hair sticks to his face, but it doesn't obstruct him from seeing the horror on his audience's faces.

He licks his lips, the corn syrup tasting sickly sweet, and smiles.

"Goodnight Hawkins"

[troynabed]

hey bro, is it cool if i write and perform a comedy set entirely about our life together that no one else understands just so i can see your beautiful smile

[juniemunie]

"Why am I still doing this?"

"Don't you get it?"

"This is all just a show... and we're playing parts~"

[laundrybiscuits]

Eddie’s doing some dumb trick with a couple of wooden spoons, clever hands making them move through the air in improbable ways, and Steve’s about to bite his whisk in half. 

He’d thought for sure that Eddie would be going home the first week; Edward Munson, 29, bartender/musician from Brighton with mismatched tattoos and wild hair, seemed like exactly the kind of pretentious asshole who would flame out early with some ill-advised hipster experimentation. If Steve (28, social worker from Indiana, USA) had been a complete asshole, he’d have said that Eddie didn’t have the fundamentals. That he was all sizzle, no steak. 

It’s a good thing Steve’s not a complete asshole, because Eddie’s been blowing the technicals out of the water so consistently it’s actually pretty fucking embarrassing. His signatures and showstoppers are making a very respectable showing too, except for the time he tried to incorporate some fresh pandan extract and fucked up the liquid ratio, leaving him with a dripping mess that Mary’d declined to even try. 

Afterwards, Steve had seen him leaning against a tree and struggling to light a cigarette. Steve went over for no particular reason, flicking on his lighter and holding it out like a peace offering. Eddie looked at him warily, but bent over the offered flame. 

“Can’t believe I made it through this one,” Eddie said after a moment, white smoke curling out of his mouth.

“Yeah, I feel like that every week.” Steve leaned against the tree next to Eddie. It was a big tree, the kind that’s probably been growing in this field since before England was even England. 

“Nah, but—c’mon, you know what I mean.”

“You had some bad luck with your showstopper. Happens to the best of us, man. Your signature hand pies looked sick as hell.” Steve’s own hand pies had turned out pretty well, so he was feeling generous. It had only been the third week; plenty of time for Steve to snag Star Baker, though even by that point, Steve had been getting the creeping feeling that he was being a little too American about the whole thing. Everyone else seemed to think competitiveness was some kind of deadly sin. It was—actually kind of nice, to get the same kind of nerves he’d always gotten before high school basketball games, but know that he wasn’t really fighting against anyone except himself in the tent.

Anyway, the very next week, Eddie had done some kind of kickass gothic castle with a shiny chocolate dragon and gotten Star Baker for the second time. Steve had clapped him on the back, appropriately manly. Eddie had pulled Steve into a real hug, arms tight around Steve’s shoulders and his whole lean body pressed up close and warm. It had only lasted a moment, and then Eddie had bounded over to Mel and Sue, both of whom he’s been thoroughly charming since the get-go. 

Steve thinks that when this season—or, uh, series—airs, no matter where Eddie places, the entire country is going to be just as charmed. Eddie’s going to get whatever kind of cookbook deal or streaming show he wants. Sponsors will take one look at that handsome face and charismatic grin, and a whole world of possibilities is going to open up for Eddie. 

Steve’s not in it for any of that, of course. He’s here kind of by accident, because Robin pushed him to apply, and it’s a goddamn miracle he’s been holding his own. Hell, it’s a miracle he’s in this country at all. When Robin had started looking at the Cambridge MPhil program in linguistics, she’d said wouldn’t it be great if and he’d snorted, yeah right, like I could ever get whatever job I’d need to move to another freaking country, but then—well. Things had happened the way they’d happened, and now Robin’s almost finished with her degree and Steve is taking time off from the London charity he works at in order to be on Bake Off. 

He’s told all this to the cameras, plus the stuff about how baking started as a way for him to connect with the kids he used to babysit in Indiana, blah blah blah. He thinks it’s probably too boring for them to air, but he gets that they have to try to get a story anyway. 

Eddie Munson, on the other hand, is probably going to be featured in all the series promos. Steve is rabidly curious about what Eddie’s story is, but he hasn’t worked up the nerve to just ask. It should be the easiest thing in the world. They’ve got kind of a camaraderie going, the two of them; a bit of a bromance, as Mel’s put it more than once. 

It’s true they get along pretty well, and the cameras have been picking up on it: on the way Eddie’ll wander over to Steve’s bench like a stray cat whenever they get some downtime, how they wind up horsing around sometimes, working off leftover adrenaline from the frantic rush of caramelization or whatever. There’s the time Eddie had hopped up on a stool to deliver some kind of speech from Macbeth, of all things, and overbalanced right onto Steve, who had barely managed to keep them both from careening into a stand mixer. Sue had patted Eddie on the shoulder and said, “Well, boys, that’ll be going in the episode for sure.”

They both get along with the other contestants just fine, of course, but they’re two guys of about the same age with no wife and kids waiting at home. It’s only natural that they’re gravitating together, becoming something like friends, Steve figures. It’s pretty great that he’s getting at least one real friend out of this whole thing.

It would be even greater if Steve could stop thinking about Eddie’s hands in decidedly non-friendly ways. With all the paperwork he’s signed, he can’t even complain to Robin about how Eddie looks with his sleeves pushed up to show off the tattoos on his forearms, kneading dough and grunting a little under his breath with effort. Steve had almost forgotten to pre-heat his oven that day. 

Two benches away, Eddie fumbles the spoons he’s been juggling with a clatter, and he bursts out laughing, glancing over at Steve like Steve’s in on the joke. Steve grins back, heart twanging painfully in his chest, and thinks: well, fuck. Guess this is happening.

[holyblanchett]

These Lilia Edits are killing me can we chill😭

[wickedcriminal]

I was absolutely floored by Walker and Leah's chemistry this episode these kids can seriously act

[ennn]

I had some mixed feelings about the ending but you wrote most of the things I loved. I was surprised and amused by Agatha being the most toxic one in the relationship. I spent so much time expecting Rio to be the manipulative bad guy and instead Agatha was the worse one imo if not for what Kathryn said in all those interviews I’m not even sure if I’d believe she ever truly loved Rio

Hi Anon! Mixed feelings are totally understandable because while we did get some great stuff we also got disappointments and weird developments and unanswered questions and missed opportunities.

I mean, I feel kinda vindicated like I've always held Rio to be a truth-teller. Partly because I'm autistic and Rio is so autistic coded.

And it gels with the character: she's the Lawful to Agatha's Chaotic. Rio may not volunteer information but I don't recall her ever lying. She's only been truthful with Agatha in terms of what she intends to do.

And yes, in terms of storytelling -- assuming the show wants us to ship these two -- it is now on Agatha to square how she feels about Rio.

Because the finale showed us how much Rio seriously cares and is pained by the relationship, and gives us a prime example of how she has given "special treatment" to Agatha with Nicky.

Because the final turn of Agatha being a ghost implies she's betraying Rio again, at least emotionally given how Rio seriously took her death.

We also didn't get flashbacks of them doing their whole "work and play" thing together. Like yeah we saw Agatha killing people, but where's the character of Rio and how does Agatha look to her?

It honestly feels like the finale basically did more set up for this ship than anything else, by fleshing out Rio as a character (which was needed) and showing a couple of moments of their history together, but there's so so much more we could get into – past and present.

[wavesoutbeingtossed]

OK @taylortruther reblogging her post made me go back and watch the whole BBC Live Lounge performance and her introduction to Can't Stop Loving You is SO revealing in retrospect regarding so many of the themes we've been talking about lately in her later albums.

"The type of love that this song sings about is unconditional love. People say that term all the time and they kinda think that they know what unconditional love is, but I think true unconditional love is, like, do you love someone so much that you would even love them if they didn't love you anymore? That is unconditional love."

Um, "hoax" has entered the chat. 😳

I feel like that goes a long way to explaining why she may have believed "hoax" was romantic, and why "grey skies everyday, would you still stay" was the ultimate expression of love. "Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in" makes a lot more sense in this context, holding onto someone who's drifting away or showing that they may not love you in the way you need or in the way you'd once been. It's kind of heartbreaking because she's so earnest and so emphatic about it, but it's actually so sad in the context of ~everything~.

Help me hold onto you. That's the kind of heartbreak time could never mend. And I can't talk to you when you're like this, staring out the window like I'm not your favorite town. Your faithless love's the only hoax I believe in. Don't want know other shade of blue but you. I'll be getting over you my whole life. Like waiting for a bus that never shows you just start walkin' on. Pulled him in tighter each time he was drifting away. I left all I knew, you left me at the house by the Heath.

(My personal opinion is that unconditional love isn't loving someone even if they leave you; it's loving someone for who they are, including their challenges, and not seeing it as a transaction but an action. ANYWAY. Semantics I guess. I find the way she explains it really devastating tbh.)

(video timestamped @ 19:27)

Unrelated: I need an entire show done acoustically like this please and thank you because the entire performance is 🤌

[k--o--m--o--r--e--b--i]

lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat, lestat

[burninblood]

some unhinged comic content for you

All-New X-Factor (2014) #5

[zambomarti]

This entire article is an attack on my sanity

And that last part made me howl.

Toby, say it louder!

[waywardmillennial]

hahaha Ryan looking short even when they're seated

[juicybeetz]

aight bet 🙏

[raininyourblackeyes]

asking serbian eurosport once again when are they planning to hire me as their fogure skating commentator because the current one doesn't know shit.

[javelinbk]

George Harrison, Paul McCartney and John Lennon performing This Boy at Granada television studios, 25th November 1963 - part 2 (part 1, part 3) (x)

[thinwhitedoc]

THE RESPONDER | Martin Freeman as Chris Carson