#or not understanding

[kits-ghosts-corner]

That's a problem of the ace community's own making. Gay means not interested in the opposite gender. Straight means not interested in the same gender.

But ace means... anything and nothing these days. Of course people don't take the identity specifically. "Aces can want sex, feel sexual attraction" okay then it means nothing when a character says they're ace. People can ship them and write them having sex because, well, ace can.

People even argue sex repulsed people can want sex.

Sorry, when your entire communtiy is about how words mean wahtever you want them to mean, people are going to make asexuality mean whatever they want.

Ace doesn't "mean anything and nothing these days". Being asexual is defined as experiencing little to no sexual attraction, and it has been that way for a while. That doesn't mean experiencing no libido or never wanting to have sex, because attraction doesn't equal action. We have enough accounts of that outside of the ace community, plenty of allo folks fuck people they don't find attractive just because they want to. Folks in the ace community can opt to use labels like "sex-repulsed", "sex-indifferent", etc. because it helps them communicate or categorise how they experience their asexuality. It has been this way for some time, and it's not a thing of "these days".

When characters are canonically portrayed as having absolutely no interest in sex - or active disgust towards it - it is uncomfortable (at least for me) to see others write them as engaging in it. Again, I'm going to point towards the example I used of everybody (quite rightfully, I think) getting up in arms if a character who was a gay man was written by someone as being incredibly attracted to a woman. It's an erasure of what tends to be an important part of a character (or, if not important, then at least an aspect of that character). It shows a lack of nuanced and critical thought, to be honest, and it's an indication of a shallow way of viewing a character if you throw out what can be a vital way of how they experience relationships (or lack thereof) just for the sake of like... idk a fic or something. I made the original post because I'm sick and tired of people not treating asexuality seriously, and this ask proves that people still don't.

It's fine if you don't understand asexual experiences, but you don't have to pin that on the ace community. I said the post isn't aimed towards ace and aro people because I can generally trust that what they write is done with these nuances in mind because they are our lived experiences - allo people can write the same things, of course they can, but it would be much better if actual experiences were taken into account rather than slapping on the label of "sex-favourable" and being done with it. (This will depend on POVs of the fics, but it's never difficult to add a little mention of it here and there. You don't need paragraph upon paragraph explaining the specifics, but just a simple thing would be very nice.)

The entire asexual community isn't about "how words mean whatever we want them to mean", it's about asexuality, and there are multiple ways to experience that. There's - and I'm sorry to keep repeating the word - nuance, and it is incredibly frustrating when people do not take that nuance into account when writing. And if you want to write a simple fic about sex, that's fine, but it's not hard to pick literally any other character.

My post was made very quickly and I hope I made it clear that it was a quick rant and not a full take on it all (maybe I need to edit the post to make it more obvious /g), and even this response here doesn't go into all the nooks and crannies of it because it would take a long time and a longer post than this already is. But it's weird to pin other people throwing away characters' sexualities and experiences on the entire asexual community because we have differing experiences amongst ourselves.

[callmebliss]

Y’ever read something and have understanding that has eluded you interminably suddenly stop, curl up, and snuggle neatly into a fold in your brain because a new way opened to it?

[inkskinned]

please i love you i'm begging you bring back suspension of disbelief bring back trusting the audience like. i cannot handle any more dialogue that sounds like a legal document. "hello, i am here to talk to you about the incident from a few minutes ago, because i feel you might be unwell, and i am invested in your personal wellbeing." "thank you, i am unwell because the incident was hurtful to me due to my childhood, which was bad." I CANT!!!!

do you know how many people are mad that authors use "growled" as a word for "said"? it's just poetics! they do not literally mean "growled," it's just a common replacement for "said with force but in a low tone." it's normal! do you hear me!! help me i love you please let me out of here!!!

[willgrahamscock]

horrible news: you have to practice to level up your skills because it's unrealistic to think you'll be good at everything first try

[great-and-small]

My grandfather and my godfather (a beloved neighbor and dear family friend) had a long standing bet- for one dollar- about who would die first. Both of them being slightly pessimistic (in the funny way), they both insisted that they themselves would be the first to die. Any time my grandfather had a health scare, he’d gleefully call up my godfather to boast that he’d be passing “any day now” and he was sure to win the bet. It was a big family joke and they were always amiably sparring and comparing notes about who was in worse shape, medically speaking.

When my grandfather was in hospice care dying of liver cancer, my godfather was quite ill also. It took him great effort to make the journey to see his dying friend. As he came into the room, supported by a family member, he shuffled to my grandpa’s bedside and silently handed him a dollar bill. He was ceding his loss of the bet, as they both knew who was going first. My grandpa had been in quite bad shape for a while and was no longer able to speak but let me tell you he snatched that dollar with unexpected strength and literally laughed aloud. He knew exactly what the gesture meant and he couldn’t help but find the humor within the grief. It was the last time any of us heard my grandpa laugh, as he passed shortly after.

When I talk about my appreciation for “dark humor” I’m not so much thinking about edgy jokes, but rather the human instinct to somehow, impossibly, both find and appreciate the absurdity that is so often folded into the profound grief of life and death. When I tell this story I think it kind of perturbs people sometimes, but it’s honestly one of my favorite memories about two men I really deeply admired. I could never hope for anything more than for my loved ones to remember me laughing until the very end, and taking joy in a little joke as one of my final acts.

[robyn-i-guess]

liking someone platonically is so embarrassing like. yeah i admire you. yeah i think about you all the time. yeah i look forward to every time i see you even if it's only for a minute. yeah it's all platonic and yeah i couldn't explain this because it'd sound romantic. fucking hell

[theboxfort]

Peace and love

[arynneva]

wait do people read first person stories and think they're the ones in the story???

Saw people talking about not liking first person, which is fair, but their reasoning was like "I would not do that" and I don't understand that mindset.

First person stories are still about a character. A character making their own decisions. First person isn't about you???? At least I thought it wasn't. What am I missing? I've always seen first person as just a more in-depth look into a character's mind and stricter POV. Not as a reader stand-in.

[butchfalin]

the funniest meltdown ive ever had was in college when i got so overstimulated that i could Not speak, including over text. one of my friends was trying to talk me through it but i was solely using emojis because they were easier than trying to come up with words so he started using primarily emojis as well just to make things feel balanced. this was not the Most effective strategy... until. he tried to ask me "you okay?" but the way he chose to do that was by sending "👉🏼👌🏼❓" and i was so shocked by suddenly being asked if i was dtf that i was like WHAT???? WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY TO ME?????????? and thus was verbal again

[sage-nebula]

THE SHRIEK-LAUGH THAT JUST CAME OUT OF MY MOUTH WAS UNREAL AND SCARED MY POOR DOG OUT OF A SOUND SLEEP

ALEX HIRSCH YOU DELIGHT ME MORE EVERY DAY

[poorly-drawn-mdzs]

Expertise can't help you here.

[petshopbutch]

submissive in the way a livestock guardian dog is submissive to the sheep it kills wolves for

[titleofpersonage-p01]

[a-drama-addict]

not caring too much about a fandom’s favourite guy is the worst. you’ll think “oh i’ll look into the tag see if anything new and cool’s there” and it’s just that fucking guy again

[rafeandonlyrafe]

well 🧍‍♀️ as a reminder this blog is NOT a safe space for trump supporters but it IS a safe place for women, queers, trans ppl, people of color, undocumented people, and any marginalized group.