#or my inability to stop
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Shen Yuan getting transported into pidw isn't "the system punishing him for being a lazy internet hater," but instead representative of "step 1 of the creative process: getting so mad at something you decide to go write your own fucking book" in this essay I will
#svsss#scum villian self saving system#shen qingqiu#shen yuan#the fact that people think scum villain#-a series that examines and criticizes common tropes in fiction-#is somehow against criticism or being a little hater is wild to me#especially since shen qingqiu never gets punished for being a hater#heck- he's still a little hater by the end of the series#he mostly gets punished for treating life like a play and like he and the people around him are characters#(or in other words- he suffers for denying his own wants and emotions and his own sense of empathy)#I think some of y'all underestimate how much writing/art is inspired by creaters being little haters#like example off the top of my head-#the author of Iron Widow has been pretty vocal about the book being inspired by their hatred of Darling in the Franxx#I think my interpretation of Shen Yuan's transmigration is also supported by the fact that this series is an examines writing processes#side note- though i understand why people say Shen Yuan is lazy and think its a valid take it still doesnt sit right with me#i am probably biased because my own experiences with chronic pain and depression and isolation#but ya- i dont think Shen Yuan is lazy so much as he is deeply lonely and feels purposeless after denying parts of himself for 20ish years#like yall remember the online fandom boom from covid right?#being stuck completely alone in bed while feeling like shit for 20 days straight does shit to your brain#the fact that no one came to check on him + he wasn't exactly upset about leaving anyone behind supports the isolation interpretation too#+in the skinner demon arc he describes his life of being a faker/inability to stop being a faker now that he's Shen Qingqiu#as “so bland he's tempted to throw salt on himself” and “all he could do is lay around and wait for death” (<-paraphrasing)#bro wants to be doing stuff but is stuck in paralysis from repeatedly following scrips made by other people#another point on “Shen Yuan isn’t lazy” is just the sheer amount of studying that man does#also he did graduate college- how lazy can he really be#he doesnt know what hes doing but he at least tries to actively train his students#and he actually works on improving his own cultivation + spends quite a bit of time preping the mushroom body thing#+he's experiencing bouts of debilitating chronic pain throughout all this#but ya tldr: Shen Yuan's transmigration is an encouragement to write and not a punishment and also i dont think its fair to call him lazy
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Old men fighting
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Sponsors of this post: @zalia for sending the request and @makoredeyes for writing the amazing series of Risen Red's adventures 🙌❤️����
#destiny#destiny 2#destiny the game#my art#traditional art#rasputin#the warmind#big red#osiris#red baby that's not how feelings work sorry#i haven't done anything with markers only for a looooong time#it was... harder than expected#i immediately remembered why i stopped using only them for coloring...#the inability to mix colors freely is so frustrating orz
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IM AT THE COMBINATION PIZZA HUT AND TACO BELL
#mario and luigi#superstar saga#my artwork#i love these guys#been thinking about them tbh#cackletta#fawful#digital art#clip studio paint#i love fawfuls inability to wear closed toed shoes btw he is NOT allowed in the science room#not that he can be stopped#silly!!
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i sincerely hope that will's casting looks as much like walker as possible so that the 'not his type' jokes finally die and everybody realizes percy isn't his type not because of hair color or any other physical attribute but simply because nico has outgrown that part of his life and has to let go of it in order to move on. like. please recognize it for the literary symbolism it is. it is important to me that y'all realize this.
#the boy is literally standing between his past (percy) and his potential future (will) and looks at will and decides to let go#literally on a precipice and decides to jump because he doesn't want to be miserable anymore (decides to stay at camp)#stop demeaning lit devices!#this was such a big moment in percy and nico's relationship#AND in nico's life#this entire scene represented nico's inability to let go#it's a precursor to the cocoa puffs#i'm begging you stop diminishing it into some immature rivalry#pjo#percy jackson#nico di angelo#solangelo#pjo fandom#pjo hoo toa#percy jackon and the olympians#pjo tv show#pjo tv series#pjotv#rcpjtv#mine#my meta
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swag
#me and my inability to stop adding cinematic black bars every time i draw them together#id in alt#ultrakill#mysterious druid knight#(and owl)#the ferryman#hank ultrakill#vm's art
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I don’t know how to feel about this Eridan because reasons.
#eridan ampora#homestuck#homestuck fanart#how can I express to others the complexities of my sadness#without coming across as trite#or self important#it’s actually funny that I was drawing Eridan while I felt like that#that deep understanding of how unlikable you’re appearing to others#juxtaposed with an inability to stop yourself from continuing to be pathetic and ugly#you talk to so many people about the same thing over and over#feeling it bubble at the back of your throat like tar in every conversation#and you’ll see it on their faces#the pity#the annoyance#you can’t stop it from bubbling though#you can’t stop yourself from spilling over#idk if this counts as trauma dumping#tw vent#just in case#I Guess
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I don’t know why this is something we apparently need to re-explain to parts of the CR fandom every few years, but if I see one more post that implies that the way Samuel Oscar Riegel is approaching his character’s faith journey is “culturally Christian” I’m gonna McFucking lose it.
#this fandom’s inability to retain the very obvious fact that Sam is Jewish is my villain origin story#also people throw around that phrase like it means something or they know what they’re talking about#when mostly they’re just mad at how THEY can’t seem to stop interpreting everything through certain evangelical Protestant tropes#and moral standards#I don’t have time for a whole rant atm but I’m truly at my wits end#cr discourse
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guy who is handling his first time experiencing being Mad so terribly
#[.art]#[.oc]#adam#dnd#woe! Inability to stop lashing out pettily or to manage your feelings because you were never expected to have them upon him#he's literally the 'this is my first time being alive' image. guy who is 30 but has been a person only since a few months ago
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VANDER AND SILCO PARALLELS
Resquested by: @lullabyes22-blog
#vander#silco#zaundads#arcane#everyone's favorite gay dads#well...MY favorite gay dads#I adore them even with their inability to stop giving their kids trauma <3#my gifs#arcaneedit#arcanedaily#kuro-tori
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“Paul said he’s going to do the Hall of Fame speech. I really think I’m doing it just to give Paul a night out. He likes to keep busy.”
— Ringo Starr, on being inducted into the Rock & Roll Hall of Fame, Rolling Stone, April 15th, 2015
“I don’t know [why we’re reviving it now]. Paul must’ve had a slow day. He says, ‘You know that track we did? Do you want to work on that?’”
— Ringo Starr, on the ‘final’ Beatles track, Variety, July 7th, 2023
#these quotes strike the same chord to me#Ringo making fun of Paul’s inability to stop being like that#it is very funny#my quotes#ringo starr#paul mccartney#the beatles
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#...... sorry for only complaining recently but oh boy#how do I stop feeling like life is moving too fast and I am barely keeping up and everything I do is too little and too late and not enough#i WISH i could have a regular functioning week for once again#just. doing my stuff without the despair and the inability to maneuver normally through life like other people are able to#simon.out.#today is a bad vibes day#a should've stayed home day
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Give this post a like if you’d be interested in a malevolent twitch drawing stream starting around 10 or 10:30 EST
#nyx shut up#my friends will be on chatting too!#we love it when people join in on the chaos#warning for my inability to stop doing strange voices
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do i finish dunmesh tn ..
#JOOO IM SO SCAREDD im going 2 sit at my desk tmr night like when i finished trigun just staring ahead . nothing 2 do .#but its sooo good i want to see it through😭AUGGGHHF#girls .. marcilles dungeon lord outfit …orz… omg ..#two standout scenes one from vol 11 and one from 12#loved kabrus panic @ his inability to stop laios and co from moving forward . loved how the panels were arranged#and i loved laios dismissive tone vs kabrus stuttering and the sleeve pull imagery again and again and it slipping through his fingers#and the attempts 2 explain utaya but not knowing how and later on feeling rooted in place w fear . SOOO GOODDD !!?#second being marcilles descent into mad mage type of headspace .like wanting and needing so badly to see her desires out#but recognizing the overhwelming nature the powers n wishes have granted her and the insufficient timeframe which 2 accomplish things#that one panel in particular of her yelling for laios to shut up!!shut up shut up shut up#STOPPIF ORS SOOO GOOD I LOVE THE ART THERE#eehee ok maybe ill get through vol 13 and hold off 14 a little longer just 2 have a little smt left over😭#plus i need to see chimera!laios so bad. at least i think thats a thing that happens idk for sure but im a believer .#dunmeshi#dunmeshi spoilers#dungeon meshi spoilers
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I initially found it strange that we Lucy Gray doesn’t seem too affected by what happened in the games, she says through music that she’s not going to let the capitol take anything from her and she’s not going to let the games change her or break her. Lucy Gray is a survivor, Because of this you could say that she’s accepted that she did what she had to to survive and she tried to do the least harm as she possibly could. However I find it hard to believe she never got angry or upset about what they put her and the others through, that she never thought about her friend jessup and the other tributes that she got to know, who died horrible deaths.
But then I realised WHY we don’t get to see her feel anything about the games and it’s victims. It’s because we only see the story through Coryo’s POV and he lacks the capacity for empathy. It’s that inability to empathise with people that stops us from witnessing Lucy Gray’s trauma and grief. He doesn’t think about what she went through, he never asks her about how she feels about it or even about how she’s feeling in general. Lucy Gray never confides in him or brings up the games herself because (perhaps unconsciously) she knows he won’t understand or truly empathise and therefore, he wouldn’t be the person she’d choose talk to about how she’s feeling.
We don’t see her trauma because snow never cared about her trauma, he only focuses on how they fell in love during the games, not the horrors of it or what the girl he believes he loves had to go through, despite having a small taste himself of what it would have been like for Lucy during the games despite having a front row seat when he went into the arena and had to kill a person to get out alive, but he lacks the capacity to empathise. Despite his front row seat to Lucy Gray’s trauma as well as the injustices, and poor quality of life that she faces in district 12.
#lucy gray baird#the ballad of songbirds and snakes#tbosas#coriolanus snow#the hunger games#their relationship was doomed from the start because of his inability to feel empathy or understand their differences#he’d never be able to understand why she sees their world differently and respect her difference of opinions or their different in decisions#no matter if he tries to fight his narcissistic tendacies and his lack of empathy those traits still come through and influence#his relationship with lucy#theres a lot i can say about the power imbalance that shaped their relationship from the start and how he had ownership over her and how he#never stopped feeling ownership over her and how his natural lack of empathy shapes their relationship despite his apparent love for her#but that’s a whole other post#i might make a post analysing their relationship and my interperation of it bc their relationship is more complex than just a lovestory
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Fanfic authors that can draw are on a whole different level and I bow down to their greatness. Just know that I aspire to be that talented and that I envy you so much (in a good way).
#krys rambles ★#drawing is impossible to me#i’ve tried. multiple times.#but i just....can’t#have i cried over this? yes#have i wanted to punch a wall over this? also yes#but i guess i just need to accept the fact that i’m just not talented enough for that#and stop making my inabilities to do something someone else’s problem as well#fanfiction#fanfic authors
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strap in for this week's fic flavor: the failsafe episode of season one of the young justice cartoon except the simulation just won't. fuckin. end.
(fics that inspired this at the end)
If I ever did sit down to make my own fic, I'd split it in 3 parts:
The Simulation: bits and pieces of the 40 years Dick lives after most everyone he knows has died
The Return: the immediate aftermath and healing from the trauma of having not-quite-actually lived a whole life only to wake up and find out it was all fake. nothing traumatizing about that whatsoever.
The Unintended Consequence: aka the twist I'd love to add and would hint to in the second part - finding out the simulation, through martian mind fuckery, pulled from the real world (and in many cases, from real minds). Dick meets a bunch of people he didn't think were real outside the confines of his simulated life. A bunch of rowdy, heroism-inclined teens across the years get to meet the sibling/friend/mentor figure they all dreamed up one night.
(actual idea snippets under the cut)
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Dick Grayson is 14 and most of the world's heroes have died. He planned a suicide mission that left him the sole survivor of a doomed team he helped found. The invasion may have been stopped, but is this really the price he wanted to pay?
The first face he sees in the infirmary is Roy's, and he has to close his eyes and just breathe for a few minutes because for one painful moment he'd thought it was Wally. But this isn't the world where his best friend miraculously survived alongside him. This is the one where he got his best friend killed and didn't even give him the courtesy of following behind him. Behind them.
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Dick Grayson is 27 and has lived longer without Bruce than with him. The invasion's anniversary is always a tough day for him, but that morning seems especially harrowing. He'll get shit for it later, but can't resist stepping out onto the balcony of the manor's master bedroom (Bruce's old bedroom) for a smoke -- his first since he'd promised to quit if Jason, just 15 then, did too.
"Bad habits tend to pile up," he'd said, a rueful quirk to his tired grin. He'd tapped the cigarette twice on the railing and added, lower, "and this one's especially nasty, huh."
He inhales, watches the sun creep across the horizon, and lets acrid smoke burn through his lungs for a long moment before blowing it out in a small cloud. His eyes water, but he doesn't cough. It tastes just as bad as it did the first time he smoked one, not even a year after the invasion and treading water as Robin proved insufficient.
There hadn't been enough heroes to go around then, and Dick had been trained by one of the best. It hadn't been fair, but it had been his plan that had ultimately stopped the invasion. His shoulders everyone's expectations fell on.
He takes another drag, then smudges the lit end against the rail he's leaned on when he hears a boot scuff purposefully against the roofing above him.
"Todd and Pennyworth will be upset with you."
He doesn't turn around. Damian doesn't jump down to join him.
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Dick Grayson is 54 and wakes up in a room full of ghosts. He hears his long-dead father-figure tell his long-dead team about a simulation they weren't meant to win. A training exercise gone wrong and only half a day spent under their mentors' careful, if slightly panicked, supervision.
He looks at his hands, watching the way his gloves crease when he flexes them in and out of tight fists. He looks at his team, their eyes a little haunted but shoulders slumped with relief even as they grumble. Batman's heavy, gloved hand settles on his shoulder and the weight of it is a nauseating mix of foreign-familiar.
He opens his mouth. Closes it.
Tears prick his eyes behind his domino mask, and he tells himself the suffocating, acidic void building in his chest is just some leftover side effect of the ordeal and not the grief-guilt of outliving yet another family (no matter that they hadn't been real in the end).
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Dick Grayson is 16-going-on-56 and well used to the coincidences piling up between his simulated life and the real thing. Some of it -- missions and villains he remembers cropping up -- he's marked for Bruce to review and sort as he pleases. Some -- security for the cave, team building anecdotes, and training regimens -- he's shared with the team. And some he keeps only for himself.
Tim is one of those. He knows it's not fair to the kid (so much smaller now than he ever was when Dick lived his simulated life), but he can't help being selfish just for this. Tim is the one kid he's sure he didn't make up, and if Dick's taken to babysitting the kid just to be near at least one member of the family he built for himself in the wake of the worst days of his life .... Well, anyone who says shit about it can happily stand in line to have their teeth kicked in.
Despite this, it still catches him off-guard when he sees a familiar face pop up in one of Bruce's reports.
Jason Todd, caught boosting tires off the batmobile, is nearly the same age now as he was when Dick met him. He stares at the words, but none of them really sink in beyond the kid's name and address. He's moving before he's even made the decision.
He's used to the world kicking him when he's down - lived it for 40 frustrating years. But he has Bruce again. And things with Tim have been so good. And he's always been selfish when it comes to family. If he could just see Jason. If he could just meet him. If he could talk to him.
If if if if if--
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Inspirations:
Circles in Shattered Mirrors by InfinityIllusion
Fine (But Not Okay) by CharlotteDaBookworm
Verisimilitude by mutemelody
#young justice#young justice cartoon#batfam#batman#dick grayson#thoughts and headcanons#the heart wrenching inability to cope with the fact that you've lived a fully realized life#you've loved and lost and loved again in the face of every unending tragedy#until you've forcefully carved out this one little safe haven for yourself#only to be thrust back to the beginning of one of your greatest traumas - esp one you're partly responsible for!#gotta love it#anyway i am and always have been obsessed with dick grayson and no one can stop me#the simulation was fake but some psychic bs means real world elements filtered in#cue several children with weird dream-memories of half-lived experiences and a massive sense of deja-vu#when they wade into the superhero world#all i can picture is the spiderman pointing meme but it's the batkids at dick lol#my favorite idea is that once Dick gets his grubby hands on Jason and Tim it's all over from there#he's pulling late nights and researching and scouring facial recognition databases until he finds his kids#(he blurs the lines a lot when it comes to considering them his siblings vs kids#on the one hand they're not super far apart in age bar Damian#on the other he hasn't been a kid in any meaningful way since he was 14 and he very nearly raised half of them in some way#(plus side to an au is that i can space the ages out more as needed compared to the show haha)#jason and cass are firmly siblings close as they are to his age#steph tim and duke fluctuate depending on how in trouble or injured they are#i will die by dick being damian's dad tho lmao#babs is more platonic life partner than sibling but very firmly family regardless#this is the dick grabs on to any shred of family he can with both hands and drags them in kicking and screaming if he has to au
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