#or maybe... he learnt not to beg for someone who wants to leave to stay from how he watched his mother once begged his father not to leave

[ryllen]

wilted bouquet  |  [x]

[moody-alcoholic]

Family

Now I will have a glass of wine and relax for the evening, because editing 2 chapters back to back was rough.

Summary: Ghoap x Reader, throuple. Slow burn (sorry but not sorry). 2.8k words. Reader is female (she/her), army nurse, non descript physical features, names used: Ashe. CW: Child abuse, mentions of war, toxic family dynamic, fuck Jack, alcohol.

AN: This chapter does have some heavy topics so if you want to skip it due to the content warnings that’s fine. You CAN skip this chapter and not miss any of the main story notes. This is basically just a little backstory into Jack and the shenanigans his family have been up to. TLDR: It's okay of you skip this chapter, we still hate Jack, fuck him he’s a bad person.

Previous parts - masterlist - next part

Enjoy <3

Jack had always hated being told what to do, from a young age he would fight back. ‘A problem child’ his mother would say when he would kick up a fuss in public. ‘Just needs some strict discipline’ people would reply. Coming from a military family he learnt from a young age how to follow orders. His family were very proud of the fact they could trace their family history all the way back to the civil war. Jack had never questioned what he would do in life, he always knew in this household when you turn 17 you’re joining the military. He just hated being told what to do, then one day it all changed.

He remembers it like it was yesterday, 14 years old, his parents where hosting a goodbye party for his brother who was about to be shipped off to war. A right of passage, someone to look up to. Jack did look up to his brother, he loved his brother, watching him walk around in his shiny new uniform being doted on by everyone was the first time Jack decided maybe the military was for him. It was when his mother asked him to do something for her that he decided to kick up a fuss, he didn’t want to leave the party, didn't want to miss saying goodbye to his brother. 

“That boy needs some discipline!” His grandfather shouted at him pointing his cane. That was the only thing Jack remembered about his grandfather, the cane and the Vietnam War medals he would wear constantly. His mother screamed at him to listen making even more of a scene. 

“If I spoke to my mother like that my father would beat me! Young kids now-a-days have it too easy! You’ve all gone soft, God help our nation if these are the soldiers of tomorrow!” His grandfather barked. His mother embarrassed and frustrated attempted to drag him inside, it only made him fight harder. His father gripped him by the collar despite his mothers pleas that ‘she can handle it.’ He was dragged into the kitchen thrown on the cold tile floor. 

“How dare you embarrass me like this!” His father yelled. Jack was used to his father yelling used to feeling the back of his fathers hand on his face. This time was different, this time his father was furious. 

“I hate you!” Jack shouted as he pulled his body off the floor. His fathers fist found his face knocking him off his feet and the wind out his chest. Before Jack could react his father was dragging him along the floor. He pulled the pantry doors open throwing Jack inside.

“You will stay in there and think about your actions! No son of mine will ever speak to me that way!” The door was slammed shut the deadbolt closed. Jack sat there in the dark his head throbbing as he sobbed.

His brother let him out, opening the door and bending down, Jacks eyes still raw from crying, his head still throbbing. 

“Chin up champ, dad doesn't mean it, he loves you really.” He said extending his arm out to help him up. 

“He hates me,” Jacks said burring his head back in his knees, ignoring the hand. 

“He doesn't hate you, he just gets mad sometimes.” 

“Take me with you.” Jack begged, his brother just laughed. 

“I’m going to a war zone, I don’t think they let kids come Jackie.” 

“Don’t call me that!” Jack shouted back, he hated being called Jackie, Jackie was a girls name. His brothers and cousins would call him that to wind him up, he hated it. His brother laughed again walking into the pantry and sitting next to him. 

“How about when I’m back I’ll take you on a trip somewhere? New York, we could spend the day there see all the sights.” 

“New York’s boring.” Jack said huffing. 

“Okay, what about DC? You love DC, we’ll go to all the museums spend the weekend stuffing our faces.” Jack smiled at his brother who smiled back.

“You have to be good though? No more kicking up a fuss, no more fighting with mom and dad. Be a good boy and we’ll go for the whole weekend?” His brother said nudging him. Jack smiled throwing his arms round his brother. It was a good hug, the type of brotherly love Jack missed. Jack promised to be good, promised to not fight with his parents. He kept his promise, learned to just do as he was told even if he didn’t like it. 

His brother never came home. They said it was a bomb, some kind of landmine, there wasn’t even a body to bring home. Jack remembers his mothers sobs late into the night, his father becoming more withdrawn and distant. His other siblings leaving home one by one, each with a look of dread on their faces when they were sent to fight the same war that killed their brother. When they all came home safe time after time Jack couldn’t tell if his dad was relieved or disappointed. 

“To die for your country is the greatest honour you will ever know. Your brother gave his life for our freedom, you will do the same.” His father said as Jack left for marine boot camp. Jack liked being a marine, enjoyed it, met Susan his wife a navy mechanic one tour. When he went back to the US to get married, it was the first time he had seen his dad be proud. 

“You did good son, you’ll be wanting to start a family no doubt.” Jack’s father said to him on his wedding day. 

“I think it’s time you got introduced to the family business, so you can provide for my grandchildren.” Jack looked at his father confused. Little did he know what kind of world he was about to get himself into. 

—————————— 

“We need to get rid of 141, they’ve already shut down our operations in Iraq and Urzikstan, if they get our routes in Syria or Lebanon we’re in trouble.” Jacks father says. Jack wasn’t really paying attention, sipping his whisky looking out down at the garden of his in-laws house getting ready for the party below. 

“I thought you were handling it?” Jacks father-in-law, Albert asked. 

“We ran into some problems in Urzikstan.” 

“Anything we should be concerned about?” 

“No, it’s being delt with. We should focus our concerns on the Syria route, we can deal with the rest later.” Jack heard a glass being put down, he turned to look. His father and father-in-law were stood round a desk in Albert’s study looking through papers. Jack walked over to the desk his fathers eyes watching him. 

“You are ready for Syria?” He asked.

“Yes sir.” Jack replied. 

“Getting you that base used all my contacts, you’re lucky your father was able to get you the promotion so quickly.” Albert said filling his glass with another drink. Jack was happy he got the promotion and the base, a supply depot in the middle of Syria. It is mainly used as a medical facility for the surrounding bases and a restock depot. Quiet and filled with supplies, supplies Jack would be responsible for selling to Al-qatala. It’s the first time he had been trusted to do something like this alone, without his fathers or his brothers help.

There was a knock at the door, Albert closed the files they were looking at and got up to answer it. Jack looked at his father sipping his drink, Albert was talking too hushed for Jack to hear. The music had started out in the garden, people must be starting to arrive. Albert came back to the table and finished his drink. 

“I am required to greet guests, I expect you to be down for my wife’s speech.” He says straightening his uniform out. Jack salutes him as he leaves. 

“Captain Price is going to be here tonight, I would assume he is bringing the rest of them with him. You should use tonight to get to know them, find their weaknesses.” Jacks father said.

“Are they really that much of a problem?” Jack asked. 

“They can become a problem very easily. Right now though we think we have thrown them off the trail.” Jacks father says finishing his drink. He pats jack on the shoulder putting the glass back on the drinks tray. 

“Don’t wait around too long Jack you’re expected to show your face at this event.” Jack nodded as his father left the room leaving Jack alone. He looked over at the folder, the one with all the intel collected on 141. He flipped it open seeing pictures, he needed to remind himself who to look out for. There was another knock at the door he quickly put the folders away leaving his glass and going to answer it. It’s his squad-mates-or since his promotion ex-squad-mates-they owed him one last favour though. 

“It wasn’t hard to get,” One of them says holding the gun out. Jack moves so they can come into the room. 

“Okay look, she needs to be gone before the speech starts and she needs stay gone for the whole night,” Jack explains. “The gun is to scare her only, that’s all you’re doing is scaring her.” They nod and the one with the gun tucks it away in his waist so it’s hidden. 

“Why are we scaring her again?” Jack hit’s him over the head tutting. 

“None of your business, you’re getting paid for it but only if she’s gone for the whole night.” Jack says.

“What can we do though? What if she screams or something?” Another one asks. 

“Gag her I don’t care, no marks on the face or arms though, in fact try to avoid leaving any evidence at all.” Jack says rubbing his temple. He starts to move them out the room.

“Come find me at the end of the night.” He says following them out. They head downstairs and Jack takes a moment to look at himself in the mirror in the hall, he always liked the way he looked in his formal’s, he likes the way it made him feel. Jack always liked the power of being in control, and now with his father and father-in-law trusting him with this latest trade he felt more powerful then he had before, he liked that, he smiled at himself in the mirror then headed out to the party. 

—————————— 

Jack’s father walked up to him as he was mingling with some people. He felt the familiar squeeze on his arm. A sign to wrap up his conversation and move away from the crowd. He let his father lead him back over to the bar. 

“10 o’clock that’s Price, don’t stare.” His father said then ordered a drink. Jack turned to look his eyes scanning the crowd until he say him, he did recognised him, it’s his beard that gives him away.

“Who’s the guy with him?” Jack looking back at his father and ordering a drink. 

“Riley, his lieutenant, the guy greeting them is MacTavish.” Jack turned to look taking a sip of his drink. 

“Who’s the woman?” Jack asked looking back.

“Friend of Chloe’s MacTavish is her plus one.” Jacks father replied finishing his drink and ordering another. 

“His girlfriend?” Jack asked, his father sighed, Jack knew that was his job to find out. 

“Is she military?” Jack asked, he expected a sigh back.

“Army nurse, that’s all I know.” Jacks father got up off the stool. The band started to die down as Jacks mother-in-law took to the stage. Jack was not listening but he did raise his glass and nod when she mentioned his name, pointing him out as people turned to look at him. Chloe was absent from the rest of her family, thank God something is going right and they’ve done their job.

He wanted to make his way round the crowd towards Price, talking to them would be a good start to get intel. When the speech was finished everyone clapped and he started to make his way over as the music picked up again. Jacks father had beaten him too it of course, already shaking hands with Price. Jack picked up the end of the friendly introductions. 

“This is my son Jack,” He introduces them and Jack shakes Price’s hand. Jack listens to his father talk as his eyes focus over each person, they seem harmless enough, one of them is missing Garrick, maybe he was somewhere else in the party. Jack felt a tap on his shoulder and he turned to look. It was one of his squad-mates. He squeezed his lips together grabbing him by the arm and leading him away from the crowd. 

“What the fuck are you doing here?” He asks. 

“There’s a problem, some girl came and caught us she took Chloe.” Jack feels his stomach drop, he quickly looks around.

“Where are the others?” He asks. 

“In the pool house, she gave Chris a bloody nose.” Jack dipped his head.

“Fucking hell, what did she look like?” Jack asks. 

“I-I don’t know,” He says stammering. Jack sighs.

“How drunk are you?” Jack says smacking the beer bottle out his hand. “If you saw her again could you point her out?” 

“Yeah,” He says sheepishly. Jack nods pulling him back to the crowd, he’s looking around as Jacks eyes fall back to Price and his father seemingly wrapping up their conversation as they shake hands. 

“Her there.” He points suddenly, Jack slaps his hand down tutting but looking in the direction. He sees the movement in the crowd and manages to catch a glimpse. Shit. It’s the girl MacTavish came with.

“You sure it’s her?” He asks. 

“Yeah, that’s her.” 

“Are any of you sober?” Jack asks. 

“Brian’s only had one beer.” 

“Bring him to me and the rest of you say out of my sight.” Jack says waving him away. Jack waits around till Brian arrives. 

“Follow, and don’t have anymore to drink I need one of you to be sober.” Jack says as he leads him inside. There are some people mulling around mostly interacting with Jack’s mother in law. Jack finds a corner with Brian as they pretend to make conversation. After a few minutes watches as Price leaves out the front door followed by Riley with the woman, MacTavish and Chloe. 

“Go get the car ready.” Jack says as he finishes his drink Brian nods slipping out the front door. 

—————————— 

They follow them to an apartment building in Canary Wharf, everyone but Price leaves the car heading into the building. When Price drives away Jack reaches into the back of the car bringing out a laptop. Brian tries to make conversation Jack ignores him trying to find the mystery woman’s military file. Who was she and what connection does she have with 141? According to all the intel they had she has no connection with them. She has to be a friend though. Jack was just about to give up when he saw something that caught his eye. A medical note for MacTavish, signed by an army nurse, now he had a name, he looked her up. 

“Oh that’s her.” Brian says pointing at the picture on the file. Jack smiled, now he has a name, and a location. He makes Brian drive him back to the party and finds his dad pulling him back into his father-in-laws office. He places the laptop down on the table with her file open. 

“Who’s she?” His father asks. 

“How we get intel on 141.” Jack explains the situation to his father, leaving out the hazing part. The whole time looking for any kind of approval in his fathers expression. 

“How do you know she’ll talk?” His father asks. 

“She doesn’t need to, it’s win win either way she’s a bargaining chip.” Jack says.

“How do you know she’s so important to them?” Jack paused for a second. 

“I have the boys watching their movements.” He says, somewhat of a lie. His dad sighs he seems unimpressed. 

“I’ll get her on your base, regardless if you can get info out her or not this can’t fuck up any of the deals we’ve made.” His father almost spits at him. 

“Yes, sir, of course not.” Jack’s father finishes his drink handing the glass to his son. He looks like he want’s to say something more instead he shakes his head leaving the room. Jack watches him leave then turns back to look at the file on the laptop, she had to be close to them, she had to be the key, and there are always multiple ways to get information from someone. Army nurse, he scoffs, she’ll be easy to break.  

Next part

[spectrerie]

Your Simon

Simon Riley x reader (gn I'm 99% sure)

TW: toxic!Simon, whump, captivity, psychological torture(?), kidnapping, yandere!Simon, maybe don't read this if you're only comfortable with fluff and light smut... even though there no smut in this (maybe I'll add an epilogue or sm idk)

Approx 2k words, random drabble. wrote this at 4 am, un-betad. Let's not nitpick, yeah? Cool.

Simon knew you were fragile, but he didn’t think you could be so easy to break. This was his third deployment since he’d met you. The third since he’d pulled you into his life. At first you’d been panicked, indignant and ungrateful. You didn’t understand the significance of his actions. Every detail meticulously planned out, every minute aspect of your stay without him accounted for. You just had to stop fighting him and start fighting for yourself. Fight to stay alive, just like him. He just wanted to share this with you, why wouldn’t you let him?

“Don’t worry, Love, I’ll be back in no time. You won’t even get a chance to miss me.” His hand stayed on the back of your head, fingers locked in your hair, holding your head up so you could look into his eyes. So you could watch him lie to you. You knew the routine well at this point. 

First the devil may care Ghost would ply you with cheeky taunts to smooth out your concern. His abrasiveness would wear you down, polish you into a reflection of himself. 

Despite yourself you began to cry, fat tears rolling down your cheeks. In the beginning it wasn’t him you had missed. It was the promise of regular meals, and fresh water. Baths. Heating. Freedom. Now he was the centre of your world. He was your everything. 

While he was deployed you didn’t know how long you’d be left to stew in your own sweat and the grime of the basement he’d thrown you in. The smell of dust and mold hung heavy in the air down here. Soon the smell of your body would join them creating a fetid blend that would stay in your nostrils for weeks after your release. If you lived that long. The single hanging bulb barely illuminating your surroundings, not that there was much to see.  

Gallons of water lined one of the walls, at least a dozen of them neatly tucked from one dusty corner to another. You’d count them in earnest when he left you. Your mind was to panicked now to begin the frantic calculations of how long you could stretch your supplies. Just in case. 

Two boxes of hardtack biscuits and cans of god only knew what were neatly pressed up against another.  At times you feared he’d been feeding you cat food. You’d opened cans of greying meat floating in gelatinous gravy, other times the cans contained some kind of soup. Either way you’d choke it down cold. 

A part of you loved it here, you felt closer to him. You were a soldier too. This is where you’d live or die. Your battlefield.

His hand left your head and he went to the centre of the room where a small metal cot with a thin mattress stood. No pillow or duvet, but at least he’d given you a thick itchy woollen blanket. Army surplus to complete your private barracks. You’d earned the cot after weeks of good behaviour, no crying, no useless begging, no disobedience. A luxurious upgrade from the sheets of cardboard he’d left you to sleep on during his previous deployments. You followed before he even turned to call you, taking a seat on the mattress. 

“Will you miss me, pet?” He asked, coaxing your chin up with a gloved finger. 

“Yes, of course” you said between sobs. He huffed out a humourless laugh, and stroked your head. 

He hardly had to grind you down anymore, soon Ghost gave way to Simon. The mask he wore over his soul fell away, leaving behind the raw and broken boy he’d been before he learnt being someone else was as easy as covering his face. Part two of your dance begun.

The tears you thought you’d controlled began to fall again, pouring out of your tired eyes as you looked up at him. Your protector and captor. The man who told you everyday he’d die without you, the same man who held your life in his hands. 

“Please, please, Si… don’t forget about me here. Please.” The last word came out as a choked sob as you pressed your face against his thighs. Begging him to let you go was useless. You knew the steps now. Let him lead you, let yourself need him. Let him have something to control, someone who wouldn’t disappoint him. Someone he didn’t have to pretend with, unless he wanted to. 

“All you have to do is survive, pet. Same as me.” He knelt down in front of you, dark eyes shining with a mania that told you he was past pleading with. “All we have to do is survive. Think of me while you’re fighting in here, yeah? And I’ll be thinking of you out there. You’ll think of me won’t you? Hmm?” 

You nodded. 

“So say it.” 

Gathering yourself, you pulled away from him, eye to eye it was easier to believe the words that tumbled out of your mouth. 

“I’ll be thinking of you Si, so please, please,” your voice began to quake with unshed tears, “please come back to me. I’ll die without you.” 

You knew he was smiling beneath his mask. His hands came up to cradle your head, his grip too tight to be anything but a reminder of the control he had over you. 

“Of course you would. We need each other, don’t we?” 

You nodded and said your well rehearsed line. “We love each other.”

He watched you weep for a while, and you knew a part of him felt sick with himself. If he returned, if you lived, he’d tell you as much when he came home. 

The realisation that this was your home hit harder down here, puling more tortured sobs out of you as he watched. You weren’t sure if the ragged breaths you heard were yours or his. 

“Simon, Simon” you chanted his name over and over as you cried, like a prayer to a long dead god. He stood above you, within reach. One touch and you’d know he was real. But you cried out his name, and he watched. Until watching became too much and the sound of his name was punctuated with the sound of his boots ascending the stairs. 

The sound of a key turning.

And then the silence. 

— — — 

You counted the days by litres of water, cold canned meals, and fitful slashes sleep. 

One of each a day. 

No cheating. 

You recited songs in your mind, the lyrics painted dark by the deep gravely voice of your thoughts. Simon’s voice. 

You imagined a life with Simon, a life different from this. Those dreams were all that kept you sane. If this was sanity. 

A life with sunshine and tenderness that didn’t have to be earned. With music and hot food, baths together. The warmth of his body against yours. Every dream began and ended with the sound of a key turning, the creak of the old cellar door, deep lungfuls of fresh air. 

After meals and before sleep you’d press your nose to the tiny blacked out window. Taking deep breaths of the English countryside before closing it again. Air when were awake, warmth when you slept. These rules and rituals were what kept you alive here. Hell was rolling green hills and cloudy skies. Hell had no one around for miles. Hell and home were two sides of the same coin.

The same countryside he’d offered to show you when you’d first began dating him. You recounted those first few dates with him often. Combing your mind for any sign of the man he’d turn out to be. 

It had been too soon for a weekend away, you told yourself this time and time again. Turning your captivity against yourself in your darkest moments was a game you hated but still played. What fool would take a trip with a man they barely knew.? You hadn’t even known him for two full months when you went away with him. Your 6th date. This may have been the longest date in history. 

Sometimes you thought of your friends and your family. Were they worried? Were the little dribs and drabs of communication Simon let you have with them enough to keep them satiated. Had they stopped caring, like Simon said they would. 

He often told you the family a person was born into was rarely their true family. Like his. You knew pieces of the life he rarely spoke about. The father he hated, the mother he pitied. The brother he held complex, painful feelings for. You hardly heard about him at all. You suspected he was the only person outside of the 141 Simon cared about. Maybe the only person he truly loved. 

Did he love you? Actually love you?

Could he? 

Another litre, another can.  Another day. 

— — — 

The creak of the old cellar door woke you, as usual. You’d long since stopped running up the steps when you heard it, not trusting your mind to be honest with you. 

“Baby? Are you awake, Love?” 

You didn’t believe it. You couldn’t. The disappointment would hurt to much. 

The sound of heavy boots descending the stairs drew something out of you, but yet you still couldn’t let yourself believe it was real. That you had survived. Again. 

Warm fingers caressed your cheek, tracing the shape of your eyes and nose, until they finally settled on your neck, below your jaw. A beat passed in tense silence, you could still be dreaming.

A shaky breath that wasn’t yours filled the room, “thank god.” You opened your eyes, and he was there. A dark figure against the light, stoic among the swirling flecks of dust in the air. 

“Si?” Your voice was weak and hoarse from who knew how many weeks of disuse. 

He nodded, lifting you from your cot with ease. Holding your body against his tightly as he brought you up the stairs. Your eyes fluttered against the light, the early evening sun cutting  through you until you help your eyes tightly closed.

You heard him shush you softly before you realised you’d been crying. 

“Si,” you said again and you felt him hold you closer. 

“I know baby, I know. I’m so proud of you. We made it.” 

He set you down on the edge of the bath and began the careful work of peeling your filthy clothes off. 

The final chords of this tragic, disgusting song had begun, and your dance was ending. 

He washed you gently, tears in his eyes as he rinsed away the layers of pain he’d caused you. 

He spoke to you in gentle tones, barely above a whisper, as though any loud noise would send you into shock. He didn’t wait for your responses, knowing you were too exhausted to give any. 

“It’s okay, pet. It’s okay, you’re safe now. You’re out. You’re out.

“Were you scared? I know baby, I know how scary it was, but you’re safe now. I’ll never let anything happen to you, never. You’re too important, I love you so much, pet. Too much.” 

You let the hot water and his words baptise you, remaking you under the heat of his love for you. He washed every part of you, yet nothing felt as intimated as when he washed your hair, stroking your head gently as he cried and promised you things you weren’t sure would ever come to be. 

When you were clean he wrapped you in a towel and left to get you something to wear. 

Was that you? Was that really you in the mirror? Chapped lips, large sunken eyes, your cheeks were hollow and your skin dull, your natural undertone wiped away and replaced with a pallid grey. When he came back you still couldn’t look away from the person in the mirror. He placed a pair of sweatpants and one of his t shirts on the heater and closed the door, giving you time to settle back into yourself. Your new self. 

You hated him. You hated him for doing this to you, making you this person. 

You opened the cabinet and went through the minor motions of humanity. Brushing your teeth, brushing your hair, and pulling the t-shirt on mechanically. You left the bottoms folded, knowing you wouldn’t be able to keep them on no mater how tightly you tied them. He was just too big, and you were just too small. 

You clutched a hair band in your hand, knowing he’d want to tie your hair back. He loved doing those small things for you. And you hated him for it. 

When you shuffled into the bedroom you stood in the doorway, watching you with a grief in his eyes as though he hand’t done this to you. 

He pulled you close, picking you up and laying you gently on the bed. The mattress felt obscene after weeks on the cot, you wept again and hated him for turning you into this person, a person that cried at everything. A person who knew what it felt like to sleep on the floor. Someone who felt blessed to have a bed. 

He took his place beside you, and you pulled yourself close, holding your body to the curves and edges of his. His arms wound around you and pinned you to him, his lips brushed your forehead and you felt his tears fall, running down your cheeks and mixing with yours.

“I was so scared without you. I really thought I wasn’t gonna make it this time.” 

“Me too, Si.”

You understood how much he needed this, how much he needed to be the villain, how much he needed to hate himself before he could go into hell and be a good soldier. So he could come back home a hero, a rescuer. Your protector. 

Your Simon.

[which-qsmp-egg-would]

Everyone is leaving.

1 from fox cabin, 2 from panda, and another from wolf cabin. They already left. She thinks two might have meant something to her.

A sibling, maybe? No, she wouldn't forget someone like that.

Áfonya could go, but it feels like her feet are rooted in place.

This camp was...different than what she expected it to be. A pleasant suprise, if you will.

She made friends, had a roof over her head. And it begins to dawn on her that she has nowhere to return to.

And it begs the question.

What if...what if she doesn't leave?

She could spend her days on the camp grounds, not having to spend another storm outside.

She can't exactly go back to the village, it burn to crisps. (She can't shake the feeling that it might have been her fault.) And they wouldn't exactly be happy to see her return alone either. Wherever they are now.

They are patrolling around, making sure no egg leaves. They are terrible at their job, it seems.

Mr. Rabbit, he is talking to to the camp director. The longer Áfonya stares at the bear, the tug in her chest strengthens.

The counselors starts to have a concerned expression on his face the moment his eyes land on the egg.

"You have to go, Áfonya. I can help you leave." He whispered.

Áfonya can't believe it.

Does he not want her to stay?

(He was the first adult in a good while to be kind to Áfonya, he was patient, nice, and understanding. Áfonya, Áfonya is none of that. She is supposed to bring doom, she is supposed to be mad.)

Hah, after she was starting to believe that somebody cared. She frowned, looking at the rabbit, saddened.

She feels betrayed.

She clutches her plushie tightly.

Mr. Rabbit spurs up an excuse to Not Cucurucho, as to where they are going. Some lie about making sure she doesn't leave. But now she knows that he wants her gone.

(Why does it hurt? Why does it hurt that Mr. Rabbit doesn't want her near? It is something she should have learnt early, it is something she learnt early. Everybody leaves eventually.)

The way they are going is...too familiar. She knows she had taken this path before, afraid and shaking.

It is sunrise. The orange hue slipping in before light blue takes over. The mornings are like any other, chirping of the birds who were up earlier than any other. They do not care for misery, nor do they care for happiness, they only care of sustaining their flight against the wind.

She follows quietly behind Mr. Rabbit, trailing. The door opens, the metal screeching loudly.

Corridos upon corridors, Mr. Rabbit fills in the silence with mumbling, but for most of the journey, not a word is said.

She faintly wonders about her cabin mates. They've been nothing but kind too, it was fun hanging out with them. She has no idea where they are right now, did they escape too?

Soup, Ping, and that new egg, Outdoor. They didn't speak much, her and Outdoor, besides greetings. Maybe they could be friends too, someday, but not today.

This place is too familiar, the blank walls are...surely something. Doors line every wall, who knows what lurk behind each and every one of them, who knows who watches through the gaps.

After what felt like forever, they reach a door, the rabbit pushes it open, glancing nervously at the egg.

It's the outside.

"Run, Áfonya."

And Áfonya does.

She is free. From what? She doesn't know.

But what she does know is that she is alone again.

Alone.

(There was no one to tell if she cried watching the sunrise.)

Poor Áfonya 😭😭😭 Congrats(?) on escaping!

[throatcoat]

this town isn’t big enough for the two of us. our co-existence lingers only in the form of bile in the back of my mouth, in moldy shower curtains & forgotten mugs & the floor mats of his car some other kid drives now.

he has become like every other core memory- something we shouldn’t talk about, something we should ignore until the feelings go away, bottle it up, spit it out. that is what my dad says when i talk about it at all. when i speak or bring it up or want to not choke it down.

sometimes, i forget where i am.

sometimes, i am back in the kitchen, sleeping under the ugly green chairs, drunk. entire bottles down, i am glad i do not remember how it felt to have carpet burns on my chin.

sometimes, i am back in the car going down hilltop. the car skids as he slams the brakes, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, leave, get out. it is so unfamiliar here, this neighborhood, but it feels safer here. sitting on the curb. choking the words out. mom, i am okay. it is okay. he loves me. he loves me. he loves me. do you not remember? this is how your love felt, too.

sometimes, i am back in freddie’s, strawberry lemonade vodka & banana baby food in one hand, my phone in the other. he is in his chair, at his computer, jerking off. i am on the concrete with smoke pouring out my lips, saltwater burns on swollen cheeks, fingers in my throat to get rid of the panda express & dominos & strawberry milkshakes. he is online with his friends who hate me. i am on the phone with my mom who think he loves me. i did not run away, i wanted to escape. to breathe. to not choke.

sometimes, i am back sitting on the blow up mattress picking up the pieces of the broken jar of artichokes. it is close to christmas. his mother thinks i am an ugly, dumb, mean little girl. his mother says he can do better. he is out of my league. the speakerphone tells me everything, even when i beg for him to silence his phone. does she not know? i know this, i know how much is wrong with me. why isn’t loving someone not enough?

sometimes, i am back in the hospital. the last times we spoke. barely. just to tell me how much he hates me.

disgusting. repulsive. practice girl gone off, gone wrong.

the words he uses for me.

i used to confuse with love.

four, almost five years now.

no, i do not remember any moments that make me want to stay there, in the nightmares. i do not miss this. i do not want this.

so sure, maybe i was running away, but sometimes you gotta get the dodge out of town.

all i know is that everything i experience was real, not a figment of my imagination. i refuse to let go of it, because if you do not, you fall back into it. the cycles.

no, i will sink back into the current. the now. the present. let the warm waves of the sea hold me up, floating.

funny how things used to feel like love now feel like a useless lesson learnt.

no, love isn’t that.

love is for the next one.

[saturniiinae]

this town isn't big enough for the two of us. our co-existence lingers only in the form of bile in the back of my mouth, in moldy shower curtains & forgotten mugs & the floor mats of his car some other kid drives now.

he has become like every other core memory- something we shouldn't talk about, something we should ignore until the feelings go away, bottle it up, spit it out. that is what my dad says when i talk about it at all. when i speak or bring it up or want to not choke it down.

sometimes, i forget where i am.

sometimes, i am back in the kitchen, sleeping under the ugly green chairs, drunk. entire bottles down, i am glad i do not remember how it felt to have carpet burns on my chin.

sometimes, i am back in the car going down hilltop. the car skids as he slams the brakes, shut the fuck up, shut the fuck up, leave, get out. it is so unfamiliar here, this neighborhood, but it feels safer here. sitting on the curb. choking the words out. mom, i am okay. it is okay. he loves me. he loves me. he loves me. do you not remember? this is how your love felt, too.

sometimes, i am back in freddie's, strawberry lemonade vodka & banana baby food in one hand, my phone in the other. he is in his chair, at his computer, jerking off. i am on the concrete with smoke pouring out my lips, saltwater burns on swollen cheeks, fingers in my throat to get rid of the panda express & dominos & strawberry milkshakes. he is online with his friends who hate me. i am on the phone with my mom who think he loves me. i did not run away, i wanted to escape. to breathe. to not choke.

sometimes, i am back sitting on the blow up mattress picking up the pieces of the broken jar of artichokes. it is close to christmas. his mother thinks i am an ugly, dumb, mean little girl. his mother says he can do better. he is out of my league. the speakerphone tells me everything, even when i beg for him to silence his phone. does she not know? i know this, i know how much is wrong with me. why isn't loving someone not enough?

sometimes, i am back in the hospital. the last times we spoke. barely. just to tell me how much he hates me.

disgusting. repulsive. practice girl gone off, gone wrong.

the words he uses for me.

i used to confuse with love.

four, almost five years now.

no, i do not remember any moments that make me want to stay there, in the nightmares. i do not miss this. i do not want this.

so sure, maybe i was running away, but sometimes you gotta get the dodge out of town.

all i know is that everything i experience was real, not a figment of my imagination. i refuse to let go of it, because if you do not, you fall back into it. the cycles.

no, i will sink back into the current. the now. the present. let the warm waves of the sea hold me up, floating.

funny how things used to feel like love now feel like a useless lesson learnt.

no, love isn't that.

love is for the next one.

[beef-brisket]

Teddy: a chance?! Lucifer, I have given this... THING my soul! To protect YOU!

Lucifer: w-what? What do you mean-?

Teddy: tell me Adam, if I didn't give you my soul, what would you have done to me?

Adam glared at Teddy, this fucker was really getting on his nerves.

Adam: I would have gutted you and hung your skinned corpse from the highest point of the Vatican...

Lucifer: A-Adam-... what?

Adam: must be scaring you, huh? I've never seen you this quiet Dora! Now, I mean what I said but that was before I felt the love you have for Luci.

Adam had a sip of his juice. Teddy was scared, that wasn't something he wanted to hear while eating dinner with his son but then he was eating with the Devil.

Adam: I have a lot of children, Teddy. Too fucking many. But I love them all. And I'd kill for them. And I do understand humans, Teddy, I've lived as one for over 300 years. I've learnt how they love and hate. How they feel sadness and happiness. And I've seen what lengths parents go for their children. At first, that was the one think I could relate to. And these babies I'm carrying feel different to my children in Hell. I've never had someone by my side to raise my children with. And I can feel the love Luci has for them. Just like I can feel the love you have for him

Lucifer couldn't help but just listen to Adam, glancing between him and his father. He could see how this conversation was affecting his dad. He never knew how much he loved him. Since his mother died, his father felt like he wanted nothing to do with him. He even said it, a couple of times.

Adam: I knew the moment you offered me your soul, you were doing it for him. You wanted to stay close, right?

Teddy nodded.

Adam: and as soon as I gained your soul, I instantly knew your intentions. I didn't have an issue with. I still don't. You have a lot of shit to make up for, you know. But then, I'm the fucking Devil, so I can talk. But know this Teddy. I love your son. Since the begging of my creation, I was forced to love. Love my siblings. The angels and their ridiculous creations. And I was forced to love my Father. Who didn't love me as much I loved him. And I was fuckimg sick of it. I've never been able to give my love to someone. I felt like no one wanted it. Lucifer is the only one I've loved, who loves me just as much.

Lucifer: oh A-Adam- that's... I love you, very much

Adam: I know you do

Adam smiled, bringing a hand to Lucifers face, cupping it. Lucifer instantly leaned into his hand.

Adam: I know this is quick, Teddy. Trust me, it's thrown me on my ass as well. And I understand that Luci has a lot more to lose. So, how about this? There's nothing stronger than my word, especially if we have a deal. I'd like to change the terms of my ownership of your soul. I promise you I will not hurt Lucifer in anyway, whether that is physically or mentally. I will always love him. If he wishes to part from me, I'll continue to protect him in Hell. If I break this deal, yours and Lucifer shall instantly ascend to Heaven.

Lucifer: what!? Adam! I won't leave you-! Even if we separate! And the babies!

Adam: I'll set something up, Luci~.

Adam kissed his cheek, Lucifer cupped his face.

Lucifer: I won't leave you. Father can ascend, but I want to stay in Hell. With you and our children

Lucifer smiled as Adam agreed.

Teddy: ... you're serious then...? About my son, and grandchildren?

Adam: I've never been more serious about anything more.

Teddy: then I'll stay in Hell to. Even if you break your deal. I won't leave my son or grandkids. Even if the Devil tried to drag me away

Teddy and Lucifer chucked at his joke. Adam was a tad confused, maybe it was an inside joke. Bug he couldn't help but smile at them, he really was a great therapist.

Adam: Shall we shake on it then, Dora?

Teddy stood up and walked over to Adam, who stood.

Teddy: I assume you will be marrying my son?

Lucifer: Dad!

Adam: I'd love to! And I assume you'll help pay for the wedding~?

Teddy: don't be a smart ass, Devil

Lucifer watched on as his father amd Adam laughed together.

Teddy: then, you're part of my family

Teddy awkwardly pulled Adam in for a hug. He could tell how uncomfortable it was for him, so Adam quickly hugged him back. After a few seconds, Teddy pulled away.

Teddy: right, I'm going to take my things upstairs, which room are you staying in?

Lucifer: the one closest to the stairs, dad

Teddy: perfect, I'll take my old room for the night

Teddy grabbed his bag and walked upstairs. Adam huffed and sat back down.

Adam: great. No sinful, disgustingly loud sex tonight

Lucifer chuckled as Adam pouted and folded his arms. Such a child.

Lucifer: I can still eat you out~, as long as you're quiet

Adam: fuck- you're so fucking hot, you know that, right?

Lucifer stood and kissed Adams head, and stated to clear the table.

Lucifer: of course I do, I pulled the literal Devil~. The hottest piece off ass in all creation~

Adam: You've never said truer words, babe~

Devil and the Priest!au

(Feel free to change the name- it's 1am where I am, so my brain is starting to fry lol)

@things-arent-what-they-seem66 @fanofstuff01

---

Lucifer drove through the country side, he's been behind the wheel for nearly 5 hours. He didn't realize how much of a drive getting to this monastery. He knew it was remote but this is getting ridiculous- he should have brought snacks.

He glanced out his window every now and then to take in the scenery. He's currently driving past a large body of water, where he spotted a small island. He wishes he was over there, with no worries or expectations. With no one but himself. The Vatican has been on his ass lately about making this trip. Apparently, there was something 'dark- and 'unsettling' at this monastery. If any of the priests he knew were anything to go by, it was probably just them. He swore they refused to die, they had more wrinkles than brain cells.

Lucifer turned his radio up, some type of rock song was one, it was a big no no to be listening to music like this, it's his car. Driver picks the music, and the Vatican shuts their cake hole.

Finally, as the sun was setting, Lucifer arrived at the monastery. The large stone building loomed over him, maybe the Vatican was right, this place was unsettling. He felt like he was being watched, the multiple colours in the sky masking how decrepit this place actually is. Pulling out a brochure from his pocket, Lucifer couldn't help but smirk, they're really trying to market this place like it's a holiday retreat.

Lucifer: "Welcome to the Hazbin. Find not only sanctuary and enlightenment but also beaches and the best crab around!" ...right, definitely staying away from the crab then...

After an exhausted sign, Lucifer licked his car and picked up his bags. Making his way towards the large wooden doors, Lucifer couldn't help but dread the next two or three hours, all he wanted was to hop into bed and close the world off foe a few hours but he'd probably have to take the whole tour and- ew- meeting people.

He shuddered at the thought.

Lucifer: I wonder if I could convince them to leave the formalities till tomorrow...

Lucifer gripped a huge, iron door knocker and banged it three times. He knew this could take a while so he prepared to get comfortable- until the door was pulled open.

Priest: Hello! And welcome to the Hazbin! How can I assist you this fine evening!

Lucifer: uh- yeah- hi, my name Luicfer, I've been told to come here by the Vatican- I've been told you're expecting me...?

Priest: hm... Lucifer...

The man flicked through a small book, humming every so often. What's the point in having glasses if you still can't read a damn book.

Lucifer: look man- sir- it's been a long drive, I'd really like to just get to sleep-

Priest: ah! Yes! Here you are, Lucifer! Please, come right in! We've been expecting you for hours, your overseer said you would be here this morning- but better late than never I suppose!

The man moved aside to let Lucifer in. He really didn't like this guy, but that's not new, priest are pretty... eccentric.

The man shit the door behind him, using at least six locks to secure it.

Priest: pardon my manners, Lucifer! My name is Alastor- Father Alastor. And I'll be your superior while you're here

Ah, great. He has to answer to this... lovely man. Forcing a smile, Lucifer did what he did best: lie.

Lucifer: that's very exciting Father Alastor, look forward to working with you and getting to know this place more personally!

Alastor: oh, I could imagine! I'm sure you've heard a lot about me! I've been in charge of five other monasteries before this one! All saw a raise in volunteers and profits.

Lucifer: that's fantastic, Father. It's a real honor to be working on this project with you-

Alastor: "project", yes, that's one word to describe it.

Alastor lead Lucifer down a long hall, hebcouldbt believe how quiet it was. He was told there were at least 60-70 nuns and other workers here but it just seemed abandoned.

Thankfully, Alastor showed Lucifer to his room, it was large with a queen bed in the middle. It didn't have much furniture, just a set of draws and a desk out looking the garden. It was dead and overgrown, but the air was fresh, he'll have to start taking up writing again.

Alastor: well! Lucifer, it is a real pleasure to have you here! Tomorrow I'll show you around and I introduce you to some of the other occupants here- there are quite a few so I do expect you to introduce yourself to some of them in your own time.

Lucifer dumped his bags on his bed, and turned to face Alastor.

Lucifer: that understandable. Thank you for this Alastor, I'll see you in the morning-

Alastor: bright and early Mr Lucifer. I like to get the day started as the break of dawn

Of course he does.

Lucifer: great! I better get some sleep then

Alastor: yes, you should. Goodnight Lucifer

Finally, Lucifer was alone. Or at least he hoped. He still hasn't shaking that feeling from earlier. Except this time, he was certain nothing was watching him, Alastor seemed to be the only other living thing here. And that's giving the bastard a lot of credit. Not once did he stop smiling- Lucifer already wants to wipe that look off his face.

All Lucifer wanted to do was sleep, so he got comfortable and started to drift off.

[in-san-ity]

perfidy (c.s)

synopsis: A perfect life, perfect friends, perfect boyfriend. Why does it all seem too good to be true? Because it is. The greater the high, the greater the fall from it.

pairing: choi san x reader

genre: mafia au, fluff, angst and smut

word count: 20.8k

taglist: @tohokuu

After going to a stuffy private school your whole life where you were driven back and forth from school by chauffeurs, the experience of boarding the train to get to your university was something you appreciated a lot.

Your luck continued though, because your university seemed to be in the opposite direction of everyone else’s morning commute and thus you usually wouldn’t face the crowd that has everyone pressed against the doors. Maybe that was why you weren’t fed up with public transportation yet. In your three years of attending university, you had barely ever been in a crowd on the ride home or to university. Probably because most of the students had their own transport or lived on or near campus.

Everyone except you seemed to be in a hurry as they continued to bustle around the station, lined up behind a recharge station for their train cards and through the gates. You were leisurely sipping on your morning coffee as you stood in line, surprisingly more patient than everyone else as they shuffled on their feet, anxious for the line to move.

If you told your friends that you actually enjoyed waiting patiently for your turn and even woke up earlier anticipating it, they would look at you like you had committed a sin. Yes, you were used to being waited on hand and foot since you grew up relatively wealthy, but you weren’t the kind of person that got angry when things weren’t handed to you on a silver platter.

That was probably because in the face of any kind of inconvenience, you weren’t spoiled to death by their parents like they were. Your parents had divorced when you were very young, your father winning custody. Although with the way he raised you, you couldn’t imagine why he fought for it in the first place. To save face, you supposed.

You were practically raised by your nanny and whatever girlfriend your father had for that month. After the fourth girlfriend who wanted to be the mother you never had, you learnt not to get too attached to them. You’d actually feel bad when they believed that they were here to stay and could break your fathers’ bad habits.

As his girlfriend’s ages got closer to yours, you got even more uncomfortable whenever your father would come home; even though he had his own bedroom and office at your family manor, he spent most of his time at his condo.

It was safe to say that you didn’t exactly have a good father daughter relationship.

You got to the train platform right on time; just as you threw away your coffee cup in the trash the train pulled up and you calmly stepped inside, finding a seat almost immediately. The rest of the passengers boarding and the announcement for the train to leave the station fell upon deaf ears as soon as you stuffed your earphones in.

That was until someone sat beside you and poked your shoulder.

Startled, you immediately paused the music, pulling out one of your earphones and a boy about your age, who was looking extremely embarrassed, smiled at you. Even though he looked very uncomfortable, you couldn’t help but find him adorable when you noticed the dimples on his cheeks.

“I’m sorry for bothering me but do you know what station I have to get off to get to Winston Law?” He asked, biting his lip nervously.

“Yeah, you have to get off at Rocksbury and then take the bus.” You pointed at the directory on the train doors, and he nodded, smiling gratefully at you, “I’m headed to the same place, so I can take you there."

“You go to Winston Law?” Ah yes, the very college that your ‘friends’ begged you not to go to. You laughed in their face when they suggested doing the same thing as them which in this case was either getting pregnant, getting married or getting daddy’s company. None sounded the least bit appealing. Especially getting another reason to stay around your father.

You smiled, flashing the keychain on your bag that had the logo of your university, “Yeah, I’m in my third year, what about you?”

“I’m in my first year. I joined late, today is my first day.”

You nodded thoughtfully, “Well if you want, I’d be happy to show you around?”

The smile he sent you was enough to blind somebody, and you felt your retinas burn a little from how good-looking he was. The blonde grinned from ear to ear and his dimples were even more pronounced this time, eyes disappearing in the eye smile and your heart skipped a beat in your chest.

“I’d really like that, thank you.”

“I’m (Y/N) by the way.”

“San. Nice to meet you.”

***

You parted with San shortly after showing him around and even told him where he could download the campus map just in case, he found himself in an area he didn’t recognize. He was such a sweetheart, thanking you profusely when you parted at the administration office. It was only after entering your class you had realized you had forgotten to give him your number.

You didn’t usually hand out your number to freshman, but he was just so cute you’d be stupid not to. On the ride here you had found out that you both were the same age, but he joined college late because he didn’t think law was necessarily for him but changed his mind. So technically, you weren’t exactly preying on the wide-eyed lowerclassmen.

You were in class, tapping your pen against your notebook as you waited for the professor to enter the lecture hall. Everyone was already seated, some already asleep; Professor Kang let you do whatever you wanted so long as you didn’t interrupt him and make him lose his train of thought. If you were unlucky enough to yawn or sneeze loudly enough for him to forget what he was saying, lord knew you would be on the receiving end of a scolding for the rest of the period.

The class looked empty huge since most of the students opted to take Children’s law in their first year. You had been the stupid one to try and avoid it for the first 2 years in favour of taking things easy, but you needed to get your credit score up and now was stuck taking it without the company of your friends.

You were surprised when San quietly slid into the seat beside you, sparing a small smile as he pulled out his computer to take notes. The wallpaper was a solid colour which surprised you since he seemed like the type to set it up as a cute picture.

“Do you mind if I sit here?” When he finally noticed you staring, he looked embarrassed that he didn’t ask you for permission first and at the first sign of the frown on his face you were shaking your head, waving your hands frantically.

“No no, not at all. You just surprised me.”

That satisfied him, he smiled that adorable smile once again and nodded to himself distractedly, turning his attention to the front of the class as the professor stepped up to the board.

You tried to convince yourself that what your professor was saying wasn’t that important so you could stare at San some more as he absentmindedly smiled at his computer while diligently taking notes but when he caught you staring, you had no choice but to shamefully look back at your notebook, finally writing down something.

During the class, you kept wanting to speak to him, ask him how he found the campus and if he had checked out his schedule already, but you kept silent in favour of writing notes. You didn’t want to distract him on his first day, especially since he was more than enthusiastic about being here, jotting down every little thing that the professor said even though it wasn’t important.

When you noticed how his lips began pouting when he fell a little behind, you had made up your mind, you were going to ask this man on a date. Not immediately, of course, you’d take a couple weeks minimum to get a feel of his personality and what not but of what you’ve seen so far, you already like him.

With that resolve, you turned back to your notes, now diligently writing beside him until the end of the class. You calmly grabbed your things, knowing you didn’t have another class for at least half an hour. San on the other hand anxiously packed up his things and just when you thought he was going to leave, he turned to you with a small smile.

“You can totally say no, but do you mind if I have your number? I don’t know anyone here and I’d like to be friends.”

He was only asking for your phone number, but your heart rate increased so drastically one would’ve thought he asked for your hand in marriage. Grinning brightly, you quickly put in your number on his phone, and he sent you his by texting you a cute sticker of a bear.

“I have a class.” He said, the smile still apparent on his face and you giggled, “Would you mind if I walked you there?”

***

“It really isn’t that big of a deal, San.” You chuckled but he looked up at you in awe, like you had just strung all the stars in the sky and your heart swelled. San was the type to praise you if you ate well and it always made you feel good about yourself. He was just such a sweet person; you couldn’t help the way you fell for him.

It had been a couple weeks since you met him, and you had yet to ask him on a date. You had yet to go a day without speaking to him in some way; whether he invited you out for a cup of coffee or sent you a bunch of texts or even called you just as you were getting into bed or stepping into the bath.

You loved those conversations with him, where you were half asleep and just mumbling nonsense into the phone and you got the chance to hear his coarse voice as he was dozing off as well. As days passed and San became more prominent in your life, you realized you were falling deep for him.

He wasn’t shy as you thought he would be, as he got more comfortable with you, he even surprised you with how bold he was sometimes. Although you supposed he was used to having other’s attentions fixated on him, given how beautiful he was and how well he knew to style himself.

Usually by this point you’d know whether someone had an interest in you, but he was difficult to put a finger on. He was so closed off about his life outside university, usually not giving you many details but he was very interested in you.

Many times, he has redirected a conversation to be about you and before you realized it, you had rambled on for 2 hours while San stared at you with an affectionate look on his face. The last thing you would want is to make things awkward between the two of you.

He was also naturally flirtatious; it was his habit to hold onto people and hug them when he had nothing to do. You wouldn’t be surprised if the girl that served him coffee this morning thought that she might have a chance with San, but he had been adamant not to spend time with other girls since coming here.

For the most part, he had just hung around you and your friends and he fit well in your friend group since they were all the same age. Your female friends had been kind enough to keep him at arm’s length when you expressed that you might want to date him.

So basically, everyone was prepared for you to confess to San except yourself.

“What do you mean not a big deal?! It’s a huge deal! People usually have to beg and beg to join that committee but the fact that they asked you to join?! And you’re not even a fourth year?!”

What San was referring to, was the fact that you were on the Winston’s Intern Committee which was basically an internship programme where the university recommended their own students to big law firms. If a law firm was interested and your grades were high enough then they’d even offer to pay for your remaining years tuition.

The committee was usually for 4th year students and even those students were asked to submit a lengthy application along with many references to even be considered. When you began your 3rd year, you were more than surprised to get an invitation from them yourself. Your professors recommended you since you always showed a spectacular performance during mock trials since beginning university. You had yet to lose a trial, winning against your seniors as well.

It was an enormous deal.

But you didn’t want to be that person that lorded it over someone else. So, after your friends threw you a small get together as a congratulations, you barely ever spoke about it around them, not wanting to seem like you were trying to come off as superior.

But the way San kept stroking your ego made your heart swell with pride. It was something commendable and you were keening after receiving genuine praise from someone who found it amazing without feeling envious.

You sent him a shy smile, “Thank you.”

“Let’s go out to celebrate!”

You laughed at his enthusiasm, practically dragging you down the halls to get something to eat, “San this isn’t new. It happened months before we met. We already celebrated.”

He turned to you with a pout, “But I wasn’t there! Let me treat you to a nice meal and couple drinks! You deserve to feel special for today, you work so hard all the time.”

Your heart fluttered. Everyone in the university worked hard, the school was competitive, and no one wanted to fall behind. But it was still nice to hear that your efforts were recognizable and should be rewarded.

“Alright fine but we’re celebrating you making it through a month of university without looking like you want to kill someone.”

He nodded, interlacing your fingers as you left campus and walked towards the train station together.

“Is this a date?”

You nearly tripped over your own foot and likely would have toppled down the flight of stairs into the concrete had San not grabbed your hand tightly. He blushed lightly; he really chose the wrong place to have this conversation, one wrong move and he’d get to use the pickup line ‘Did it hurt when you fell from the top of the stairs?’

He was staring at you so earnestly that you felt the heat rise to your cheeks and even though he had basically given you the upper hand here, you were still bashful from his straightforwardness. Peeking up at him from beneath your lashes, you meekly asked, “Do you want it to be?”

Sn reached for your other hand, holding both of them in his as you stood at the top of the staircase together feeling like you were the only two on the face of the planet.

That cute dimple on his cheek was back, making you feel weak just by looking at him. If you were to have your own kryptonite, a substance that could reduce you into a pile of mush and unproductivity, you’d find it in his dimple.

It was dangerous, giving someone so much power over you; you had seen it happen to your father’s girlfriends but if this was how they felt just by holding hands, you couldn’t blame them for laying out their heart. Afterall, they weren’t the ones at fault for loving, it was your father who was at fault for only being loved and never giving any.

So far, you had only been on the receiving end of San’s affection. He was always so quick to compliment you, to make you feel like you were soaring with just a couple words. You were resolute; you wouldn’t use him like your father, you’d give him just as much as he gave you.

“I want this to be a date.” He said, smiling kindly at you and butterflies erupted through your insides.

“Me too.”

***

An amusement park date was your idea of a perfect first date. The perfect spot that kept things interesting while still enjoying each other’s company. So, when San suggested it, you couldn’t help but feel like he was every bit your soulmate.

The day started off strong, with the two of you riding every ride, holding hands as you reached the top and screaming your lungs out as you came down. You laughed until your stomach hurt when San claimed he was too tired to wait in lines and proceeded to put all his weight on you.

San argued with you for a good five minutes about paying for lunch and snacks. He didn’t even let you take your wallet out of your bag before he was handing the vendor his money, urging him to take it before you could protest.

Since San had spent a good amount of money on both the food and the tickets, you felt entitled to repay him.

Which is exactly why you were currently losing every last bit of money in your purse to the carnival game. The vendor was clearly enjoying your struggling and every time San offered to help you nudged him away with your hip. You didn’t think that shooting plastic pellets at a couple targets was so hard, but you were being proved wrong. Your eyes were hurting from trying to aim the gun.

At this rate you’d have to find an ATM fast if you wanted to continue playing.

Just as you paid for another round, San pushed you aside and even though you protested and even tried to climb on him as he grabbed the unnecessarily long rifle. He didn’t even have to take a couple minutes to aim before you heard the sound of the pellet hitting the target.

You froze in your spot, watching San in awe as he continued to shoot down the targets. Even the vendor was shocked, handing you the plushie without another word.

You pouted, holding the Shiba plushie to your chest, “I wanted to win it for you.”

San chuckled, wrapping an arm around your waist to lead you away from all the sparkly lights on the other games. No doubt if your eyes landed on the ring toss game or basketball, you’d go home bankrupt.

“With the amount you spent trying to win it, you practically bought it.”

“It’s still yours, I want you to have it.” You insisted, pushing it into his chest and he nodded with a placating smile, holding both you and the plushie close to him.

“What should we name it?” He asked, looking up at the purple sky. The sun had almost set and in the matter of a few minutes, the streetlamps would be the only things giving you light. You didn’t realize it got so late already, when you started the game, the sun had hardly begun setting.

‘Time flies when you’re having fun.’ You thought, looking back at San’s face.

A couple years ago, you had read something in a psychology post on Facebook about how it only took 7 seconds to fall in love with someone. It was absolute bullshit, you had seen it before in your fathers’ girlfriends and you knew that if it only took seconds then it was attraction, it was lust, maybe even delusion but it was never love.

Looking at San, the way his eyes curved into an adorable eye smile, the blonde strands of hair covering his eyes slightly and holding the plushie to his chest, you wondered if what you were feeling in your chest was love.

It hadn’t been too long since you met each other, it had certainly been more than 7 seconds but this feeling in your chest got stronger the longer you knew him. If someone else had told you this, you would have thought they were quite pathetic to get so emotional in such a short span of time, but it felt different when it was you. The feelings felt real.

If this is what delusions felt like, you weren’t opposed to it.

Afterall wasn’t this the kind of story that all old couples told for years to come? About how they met their soulmate in college or high school and stayed together ever since. While it was difficult to put your finger on it since your relationship was so young, it felt like something that would last for years to come.

“What about Shiber?” His question brought you out of your thoughts that were ironically filled with him, finding him staring at you with a smile and his eyes wide, like they could fit the whole sparkling galaxy within them.

“I think it’s perfect.”

San leaned in to peck your lips and you felt a jolt of electricity rush through you. When he pulled away, he was smiling at you affectionately, tightening the hold around your waist to lead you through the lit streets, the plushie clutched between the two of you.

***

San’s lips were soft.

That was the only thought that remained in your head when San moulded his lips against yours again and again. Your mind was completely blank as he carefully guided you through his apartment, though your knees did end up knocking together as your unsynchronized steps backed you towards the bedroom.

You barely registered him switching on the lights and pulling off your jacket before chucking it to some corner of the room. Your arms were leisurely thrown over his shoulders, one hand playing with the blonde strands at the nape of his neck, and you smiled in the kiss when you felt him shiver.

Even though there was a need that fuelled your current make out session, it wasn’t rushed or extremely feisty; it was slow, and passion filled. Each kiss that was shared was gentle but firm and had butterflies erupting in your stomach.

When you fell back against his bed all your senses were heightened and it felt like your skin would light on fire just from the sensation of his cotton duvet against the sliver of skin exposed between your shirt and the waistband of your pants.

It was quiet, aside from the occasional sound of his lips smacking against yours as his tongue gently traced the contours of your mouth and the rustles of the sheets as you squirmed underneath him. You whimpered into San’s mouth when one of his knees parted your legs and immediately you became very aware of your lungs that burned for air.

You let your head hit the plush pillows as San began trailing his lips down your neck while his knee inched closer to your core. Your eyes fluttered open and close while his hands traced your hips.

“Mmm stop.” You moaned out, gently pushing his head away from you and San stopped immediately, pulling away and putting a little distance between the two of you without leaving the bed.

His eyes shone with uncertainty and your heart swelled just a little, “Did I do something wrong?”

“No, it’s just—” You began, trailing off as you felt a blush crawl up your neck.

“What is it?” He coaxed gently.

“Shiber’s staring at us.” You murmured, embarrassed, looking at the plushie that you had ‘won’ for him back at the carnival sitting at the edge of his bed. San blinked at you before letting out a breathy laugh.

“You’re so cute.” He giggled, leaning down to nudge his nose against your cheek before placing a peck there. You blushed, hiding just how flustered you were when you noticed the plushie’s black eyes staring right at the two of you while you made out on his bed, making you uncomfortable.

He reached for the plush toy, placing at the foot of the bed so you couldn’t see it anymore before straddling you once again.

“He’ll hear us.” You whispered and he chuckled at you, kissing your neck lightly. Even though it was an inanimate object, there was just something about doing it in front of its eyes that made you insanely uncomfortable.

“Then you better keep quiet.” He whispered back, smiling adorably and your stomach flipped.

His lips returned to your, instantly wiping away any worries you might have had, and you eagerly returned his kiss, arms finding place over his shoulders once again. His lips really were so soft.

San pulled away from you only for a second to pull his shirt over his head and even though you already missed the feeling of his lips on yours, you wouldn’t help the gasp that left your lips as a hand came to cover your mouth.

“You have tattoos?!”

He raised a brow, “Yes?”

“Oh my god, really? Wow, you really don’t seem like the type.” You thought out loud and San blushed underneath your gaze. Usually when his shirt was off, girls tended to stare at his well-built body with lustful eyes instead of the ink that was littered on his skin. You, on the other hand, let your eyes rake over each inch of skin that was tattooed with amazement.

It made him feel adored.

“Do they have special meanings or are you the type to get fun tattoos?” You asked, shyly reaching a hand up to trace the letters on his bicep. He shivered lightly as your fingers grazed his arms, lightly fluttering over the one on the side on his abdomen when you were done.

“They all have meanings.”

“What about this one?” You asked, running your fingertip over the letters on his bicep that read ‘Ateez’. San didn’t really want to answer, not wanting to say too much but the way you were looking up at him with wonder in your eyes, he felt himself relent way too quickly.

“That’s just a silly group name my friends gave us when we were younger. I’m still really good friends with all the guys so we all got matching tattoos.” He said quietly and you nodded, looking at the other tattoo on his other arm; it was a tiny line drawing of a mountain against a cloudy sky, “And that one?”

“My sister’s name is Hana.”

“Ah, so a mountain and the sky. That’s cute.” You smiled, letting your eyes linger on it for a few more minutes before poking at the tiny umbrella that was on the side of his abdomen.

“My best friend’s name is Wooyoung, so we’re WooSan.” He explained and you giggled, nodding and skated your eyes over his body again, trying to spot anything you might have missed.

“They’re pretty.” You said quietly and kissed his lips, realizing just how intimate the moment had gotten, with San still leaning above you. It wasn’t lustful anymore; the air wasn’t crackling with passion as it was a couple minutes ago, and you flushed prettily.

“I kinda ruined the moment, didn’t I?”

“You didn’t.” San said, rolling onto his side and pulling you into his arms. You placed your head against his bare chest and wrapped an arm around his waist, “You just turned it into a different mood.”

“I just wanna lay here for a while, with you. Is that okay?”

You felt a kiss land on the top of your head before you both settled into each other and pulled the covers over your bodies, getting Shiber off the floor to cuddle with you.

“That’s okay.”

***

You woke up earlier than you usually did and by the time you were out of the shower, the morning sky was still a bit purple, and the streetlamps were still lit up outside. Instead of hearing the chirping of birds in the morning, you kept your ears open for any sounds from the floor below you.

You had spent the night tossing and turning, unable to fall asleep with the feeling of dread on your shoulders even though you had double checked to make sure the door was locked. And that same feeling of dread was the reason you had awoken before the sun was even up, despite how your tired limbs were pleading to go back to your comfortable bed.

All this because the housekeeper had informed you when you got home from university the day before that your father was planning to spend the night at the manor, apparently because he needed to use his home office for something.

Your father’s home office was the one place that wasn’t allowed to the rest of the staff. No one was allowed to enter, and your father had gone through the liberty of placing a number lock on it but since it doubles as a panic room, your father gave you the password to it.

When you tiptoed down to the exit, bent on skipping breakfast, you caught a glimpse of your father passed out on the couch as if he didn’t have a queen-sized bed in the other room. You weren’t sure whether it was because he was drunk, and you were not too keen to find out. Instead, you held your shoes in your hand and slipped out the door, putting them on outside before walking to the bus station.

Your mornings were usually filled with music but now the silent walk to university was spent by San’s side. It was weird; before you looked forward to being alone, needing some isolation time in the morning to get your thoughts sorted before a big day but now you craved to be by your boyfriend’s side.

Some days he’d be the reason you’d be beaming while sitting beside him on the train and some days he didn’t say much while you leaned against his shoulder, catching up on whatever sleep you lost the night before while trying to finish an assignment.

“Morning baby.” San murmured, kissing your temple as he slid into the train seat beside you and you automatically turned your body to him, resting your head against his shoulder instead of the window.

The train car was completely empty, since you both had left earlier today, and it was nice pretending like you were the only two people on the face of the Earth. San pat his hand on your thigh lightly, making you shiver when his skin met that of your bare thigh.

You hummed and kissed his cheek in greeting, “Sleep well?”

Had you seen this type of couple on the train, you probably would’ve cringed while secretly being jealous but now that you had been in a relationship with San for almost 3 months now, you didn’t mind being that cheesy couple on the train that made others envious.

Finally, it felt like things in your life were starting to be genuine. The last 3 years you had spent in college had given you a purpose, interests, and challenges; and now the last 3 months had given you fulfilment, satisfaction, and this weird burning feeling in your chest whenever you looked at him. Love was something you had yet to feel for someone else and it was exciting to say the least.

“Are you okay?” He had noticed that you weren’t exactly responding as well as you usually did. You were thinking about whether your father would be home when you got back and spend another night. The brief thought of spending the night at San’s house instead flashed through your head and your heart fluttered.

“Just a little stressed.” You mumbled, leaning further into the crook of his neck and San gently brushed a lock of your hair behind your ear.

“Then let me relax you.” San turned his head to press his lips against your ear and you shivered when you felt his tongue against your earlobe before his lips trailed down your neck. You tilted your head away from him to show him the expanse of your neck when he bit down on the space behind your ear.

The hand on your thigh inched closer to the hem of your skirt and your breath got caught in your chest. It felt like your body was buffering, trying to decide whether to clench your thighs shut or spread them wider and your bottom lip quivered when his fingers disappeared underneath the fabric of your skirt, barely grazing the skin of your thigh.

There was no one here to see what you both were doing, and you were facing away from the doors so even if someone did come in, they wouldn’t be able to see what San was currently doing. Still, your heartbeat picked up with both the anxiety and thrill of doing this in a public place.

You felt yourself grow wetter, suddenly getting sensitive and it felt like all your nerves were buzzing. A small whimper left your mouth when he traced the edge of your panties with a delicate fingertip. San only chuckled at you before more boldly pressing his fingers against your clothed pussy and you bit your lip to keep in a moan.

He rubbed gentle circles to your heat, feeling the material get damp and hot with each second.

“Already so wet, baby? I barely even touched you.” He teased, whispering into your ear and you blushed hotly, embarrassed from the truth in his words.

“Is this turning you on? Is the thought of me making my baby a mess right here, where anyone could see, turning you on?” He taunted and you felt your stomach flip as his fingers pressed harder into your clit, nearly sliding off the seat when your hips bucked into his hand.

A hand went up to cup his cheek before you pulled him into an open-mouthed kiss, tangling his tongue with yours. San groaned lightly into your mouth, and you almost beamed with pride at how turned on you managed to get him with a simple kiss but that quickly turned into a startled moan against his lips when his fingers hurriedly pushed aside your underwear to meet your soaking folds.

He groaned again, sucking on your tongue as drool dripped down his chin when he felt just how wet you were for him. The thought of being in a public place and the possibility of being caught any second began to slip your mind the second his fingers slipped into your hole.

You were embarrassingly wet, your needy pussy drooling all over his palm and his fingers didn’t feel any resistance while he pumped his finger steadily before adding two more at once and you let out a loud moan. He brought you closer and closer to the brink of an orgasm, his other hand pushing up your skirt to your waist before rubbing your clit harshly.

“So pretty for me, just for me.” He mumbled more to himself than you and you nearly fawned over how he aroused he was by giving you pleasure.

The sound of the train rumbling and your moans were loud enough that you almost missed the sound of squelching as he fingered you.

The sight of San with his pupils blown wide, lips wet and puffy as drool pooled in the corner of his mouth was enough to make you cum, tumbling over the edge with a loud moan and he groaned brokenly at the sight of your eyes rolling back into your head.

You squirmed when his fingers left your cunt, feeling your juices drip down but the uncomfortable feeling was already forgotten when you watched San put his fingers into his mouth, whimpering at the taste.

“Let me clean you up, baby. Let me lick up the mess I made.” He whispered, getting down to his knees and you heard the announcement for your station coming up. With a small smirk, you batted his hands away, ignoring his whines and straightened out your skirt and panties.

You kissed him deeply, smiling at the taste of yourself on his tongue and pulled away when the train came to a stop.

“Be patient today and maybe you can eat me out on the way home.”

He grinned widely and even though he literally just had you cumming in a train car, he looked like the purest, most innocent baby boy there was, “Will you come over tonight? We can have a sleepover.”

You mirrored his smile, intertwining your fingers as you got off the train together, “Alright but I don’t have my pjs.”

“Good because we don’t need any.”

***

San’s comforter covered your bare bodies as you kissed after a night of making love. He was leaning over you, arms holding your waist and yours were thrown over his shoulders, revelling in the feeling of his muscles tensing beneath your touch before gently tracing the lines that you created while dragging your nails down his back.

The marks on your neck were darkening and you knew San was pleased when he pulled away from the kiss and smiled at you. You returned it with a groggy smile of your own and pecked his lips quickly once again before settling into the plush pillows.

“Do you trust me?” San asked after and while and even though you wanted to go to sleep, you wrenched your eyes open to find him staring at you with a look of innocence. A hand went to slowly rake through his hair as you tried to process what he was saying with a tired mind.

“Why do you ask?”

He shrugged, pouting absentmindedly, and reaching for Shiber even though you slapped his hands away from the plush toy. You both were naked; it would be weird.

“Just wondering. It’s okay if you don’t, I’ll earn your love.” He replied and you chuckled, pushing the strands of hair away from his face. Another sweet kiss was shared as San settled down beside you and pulled your body to his chest.

“Love isn’t earned, babe. Love is given. Trust is earned.”

“What’s the difference?”

“Well, love means wanting the best for someone else even if it comes at your expense. And trust is knowing that someone else is the best for you.” You thought out loud. For others, it could have different meaning but when you thought about it, this is what you came up with.

“Do you love me?” Came his silent question, voice no higher than a whisper and his arms tightened around you.

“I do.” You whispered.

“Do you trust me?”

“I do.”

You both didn’t have to speak any more words, sharing another kiss before settling into each other’s arms with your legs tangled underneath the blankets.

***

There was some music going on the background, bouncing off the tiles of San’s bathroom while you sat on the counter, swinging your legs back and forth. After the first night of sleeping over at San’s place, it started to become a more regular thing, with you spending multiple nights there a week.

The empty drawer in San’s dresser slowly started to fill up with your clothes, and his hoodies and sweats had more instances of being on your body or his floor rather than him wearing them. His bathroom got some of your skincare products too, that he unashamedly used on the rarity that you weren’t there.

San was eager to help you out with your night routine today, making you sit up on the counter while he very carefully took off your makeup and then massaged all your products into your skin dutifully. After he was done, you insisted to do the same for him as well, giggling when he tried to eat the lip scrub that you were gently rubbing in.

“You look pretty without makeup.” He said tenderly, pecking your cheek and you smiled.

“I look pretty all the time, baby.”

“You especially look pretty when I make all the makeup run when I—” He didn’t even get to finish his sentence, yelping when you ran some water from the tap before splashing it at him.

“Can we just have one night where you don’t try to get in my pants?” The offended look on his face made you laugh before you were jumping off the counter, watching his pout turn into a smirk as he reached for the tap to throw some water at you.

You scampered to the shower, grabbing the shower head and switching it on, spraying him from head to toe and laughing out loud when he started complaining that the water was too cold. He ran at you and grabbed you from the back, grabbing the shower head and pointing at you and you shrieked when you felt water run down your, really San’s, shirt.

“You’re making the moisturizer run! We just spent like 20 minutes putting all this stuff on!” You complained, feeling the moisturizer run down your neck but San merely cackled, making sure to get your hair wet too.

You wiggled out of his grip, nearly slipping in the puddle of water on the floor to shut off the tap, turning back to him with a playful glare that he responded to with an innocent shrug. Your hair was sticking to your face and the shirt you were wearing was sticking uncomfortably to you, but you grinned widely despite feeling an onset of sniffles and a chill.

“We better wipe all this up before one of us falls and crack our skull.” He said, getting some towels from the hamper that he needed to wash tomorrow anyway.

You noticed his white shirt almost transparent against his skin and his pants were soaking wet with drops of water falling from the hem and onto the floor.

“We should get you out of those clothes.”

San’s smile turned into a smirk.

You scowled, “It’s been 5 minutes. What the fuck.”

***

“Hey, how come we never go over to your place?” San asked one morning as you ate the breakfast that he made for you. The sight of him cooking with his shirt off was enough to get you out of bed even though your thighs burned a little with each step.

The question kind of caught of you off guard and you looked up at him surprised with crumbs covering your chin. He chuckled at the sight, leaning over the counter to wipe your chin even though the look in your eye had him slightly concerned.

“Are you ashamed of me or something?” He asked in a small voice, poking the food on his plate with his fork and avoiding eye contact with you.

“No, not at all, Sannie. It’s not you, I promise.” You explained, beckoning him from behind the counter to come give you a hug. The second he was in your arms you were peppering kisses all over his face. He tried to pull you in for a deeper kiss, opening his mouth a little to try and press his tongue into your mouth but you giggled and pulled away, laughing when he whined.

“I barely like going home myself. It’s not you baby, I just think if you come home, I’d never be able to relax like I am now.”

He nodded thoughtfully, “What makes you so uncomfortable about it?”

“Well, my dad never really gives me notice when he comes home, and I just hate it when he is. He makes me all uncomfy.”

“It’s okay, baby. I’m sorry for asking.” You just shook your head, telling him he did nothing wrong before kissing him again. Even though you wanted to pull away, it wasn’t long before San was standing between your legs with his hands grabbing your ass tightly.

“Breakfast is gonna get cold.” You murmured against his lips, panting when he pressed his hips against yours.

“It’s alright. I have an appetite for something else.”

***

“I know I call you princess sometimes, but this is ridiculous.” San exclaimed as you pulled up to your house and you chuckled at his awestruck face as he continued to gape at the tall mansion in front of him. You didn’t really mention being wealthy in front of him, but you didn’t exactly hide it either. Maybe he just never noticed.

“You’re going to start drooling, Sannie.” You teased, pushing his mouth closed and he turned to you with wide eyes.

“You actually live here?”

You chuckled and nodded, finding him so very cute when he looked a little lost just standing in the driveway.

“I’m allowed to put my shoes on here, right?”

At this you literally burst into laughter and San grinned, automatically feeling lighter at the sound of his favourite thing in the world. He whined cutely, throwing a tantrum and began flailing his arms around while stomping his feet, complaining that you were making fun of him, and you were laughing so hard that tears were in the corner of your eye.

Now that you got a good look at him, he looked too much like a child heading for a sleepover with a backpack on his shoulders and bundled in a blue sweater and a warm scarf that you put around him before leaving.

Embarrassed, San hid the lower face of his face in the scarf even though you could see the tips of his red ears peeking over it. Cooing at him, you grabbed his hand before pulling him to the front door, just chuckling at him when he asked you if you could just leave your car like that in the middle of the path.

The door opened as soon as you walked up to it, a man behind it smiling kindly at you and you returned it while wishing him a good afternoon. San merely stared at him in wonder before awkwardly bowing and then let you pull him to the foyer.

“Hi, dear.” You smiled at the housekeeper as she exited the kitchen, greeting her kindly and her eyes landed on the boy beside you who smiled widely at her.

“Is this your boyfriend?”

Even though he had been your boyfriend for multiple months now, you still blushed at the sound of someone else saying and nodded, watching her small smile turn into an outright beam. She gave you a motherly smile but chose not to say anything more other than asking what you wanted for dinner, and you asked her to get the barbeque ready so you could have grills, which happened to be San’s favourite.

“I can’t believe you grew up here.” San commented, entering your bedroom. If San looked closely enough, he could see the height markings on the doorframe that you had insisted on doing when you were younger because you saw it in a cartoon even though your nanny had tried to talk you out of it for fear of ruining the door frame.

On the dresser, you had framed the pictures that you took at the photobooth, and San smiled at it for a split second. You told him to wait there while you went to the bathroom and then you could watch some movies, so San took his time walking around the room and taking in all your decorations.

On the wall, you had pinned up a couple pictures with your friends, the acceptance letter from your university and a little doodle of a dinosaur that you just thought was cute. Right beside it was a wrinkled and worn picture of you and your mother, taken at a travelling circus. If he peeked into the closet, he would find it lined with fancy dresses and shoes that you wore to your socialite friends’ parties as well as sweats and biker shorts that you wore to university during finals week.

And finally on the nightstand beside your bed was a small, framed drawing of you and San that he remembered taking on a date together. You had taken the train to a small town outside the city and were stopped in the streets by an artist who invited you to sit and get a portrait drawn.

San had ended up paying for it since you had a habit of only carrying around credit cards. It was difficult to pose for nearly an hour to get the picture drawn but eventually, you both just began talking, not paying the artist any mind as you chatted.

The moment was captured beautifully, with the two of you staring at each other fondly, wide smiles on your face as you laughed about something that happened in class the other day.

Without realizing it, San was smiling softly at the frame in his hands, admiring just how beautiful you looked in it. Obviously, the artist couldn’t capture your true beauty, but San remembered how you were smiling at him that day, how your small hands held his and the way your eyes looked.

“San? I got the movie room ready, what do you feel like watching today?” You asked, wrapping your arms around his waist from behind him.

San didn’t reply, only turning around in your arms to wrap you into a tight hug. He buried his head into the crook of your neck, holding your waist tightly against his body and though you were confused from the sudden bout of affection, you wordlessly wrapped your arms around his shoulders when he took in a shaky breath.

“What’s wrong?”

“I love you.” He breathed, not pulling away from the hug. He didn’t want to see the look in your eyes when you heard his confession for the first time. You had been quick to admit that you loved San and completely accepted it when he didn’t return it. You knew that it was harder to fall in love for some people and even harder to admit it for others, so you waited patiently until he felt like he was ready.

“You sound upset by that.” You joked, rubbing his arms comfortingly.

“I don’t deserve it.” He whispered, only for you to hear, “I don’t deserve to love you. I don’t deserve you.”

You pulled away from the hug only far enough to cup his cheeks, heart tearing a little in your chest as he stared at you with a pained look. He looked so vulnerable in this moment, like a glass on the verge of breaking and you wondered just why he suddenly felt so insecure in your relationship or if he always felt this way.

“I told you before, you don’t have to earn my love. I’m going to love you regardless. And you don’t have to earn the right to love someone else. I’m grateful that you love me.”

With a shaky exhale, he leaned forward and pressed his forehead to your, closing his eyes, “I—I just—”

The words got caught in his throat and you felt his brows furrow as he tried to get his voice back but no matter how hard he tried, he just couldn’t speak and San felt tears brim beneath his eyelashes, heart breaking in his chest. His lip quivered and you heard him sniffle before you were pulling him into another hug.

The few tears that you felt against your neck as San held onto you for dear life went unspoken as you both just held each other, swaying to the sound of silence.

***

“Ugh this is just so typical!” You fumed, pacing around San’s living room while he watched you with a concerned gaze as he made you something to eat. You were burning away your energy with rage and nearly burning a hole into his ground with the amount you were pacing.

The reason for your anger? Your father decided to throw some sort of party at the manor while you weren’t home. No doubt he didn’t even bother to check if you were there, and you got no message from him that he was going to turn the house into some sad brothel where other 50-year-old clowns like him got drunk and tried to hit on the strippers.

You got a text from the housekeeper this morning that told you one of them had even snuck into your bedroom for a cigarette and now your room smelt like the inside of a smoker’s lung. The staff had opened a window the morning but knowing your sensitivity to the smell of tobacco, they suggested that you spent the night at San’s.

It wasn’t the smoking that had you so on edge, it was the fact that a man had been in your room without your permission, and you had no way of knowing what he did in there. You told her to check if anything was missing or out of place and to sanitize everything she possibly could. You suggested hiring a cleaning crew if she wanted, knowing that your father would’ve no doubt messed up the entire house in a span of one night.

“Baby, try to relax, you’re going to tire yourself out if you keep this up.” San coaxed, bringing over a plate of pasta and tugging you to the couch.

“Ugh, I wish I could just take this fork and stab his eye out.” You seethed, gripping the utensil tightly as you viciously stabbed the poor pasta and shovelling it into your mouth.

With a concerned glance, he pulled the fork out of your vice like grip, “How about I feed you?”

With a mouthful of food, you began ranting, “It’s just so typical of him, you know? Invites a who’s who of paedophiles and cheaters into the place this his daughter lives, not caring what the hell they do and not even bothering to check in with me. I’m not asking him to suddenly be father of the year but at least acknowledge I exist, you know?”

He nodded compassionately, “I know, baby. Your feelings are totally valid.”

“And it’s just going to bother me forever knowing that I have no idea what the hell that man did inside my room. I might just be overthinking it and he might have just gone there for a smoke but why my room of all places? It’s just creepy. I should just move out.” You shuddered at the thought of that creep going through your drawers or something.

San, on the other hand, looked like a lightbulb just flickered over his head and he sent you a mischievous smirk, “Well, what do you say to a little pay back?”

“What do you mean?”

“Your dad let someone sneak into your room to do god knows what? I say we return the favour.”

***

You had to keep in your giggles while San peppered kisses to the back of your neck and shoulder while you tried to press in the code to your father’s office. It was weird that you planned this beforehand, but it also filled you with a sense of anticipation. His arms tightened around your waist when the lock beeped, indicating that it had opened, and you pushed open the door.

You both shuffled inside and turned on the light before clicking the door shut. The room was pretty big, with a large mahogany desk sat at the end of the room, completely bare of anything and the light bounced off its shiny surface. Your stomach was twisting into knots as you walked closer to it, the kisses on your neck starting to turn wetter as he began licking and biting marks onto your skin.

When you reached the desk, San turned you around in his arms to press you against the surface and caught your lips in a passionate kiss. You moaned lightly, opening your mouth when his tongue grazed your bottom lip, and his hands squeezed your ass.

San lifted you up and set you on the desk, parting your legs to stand between them, his hands now cupping your breasts as you moaned into his mouth. You felt him get harder against your thigh, whimpering when he pulled down the fabric of your dress so your breasts would spill out from the top of the neckline.

He kissed down your neck, taking your pert nipple into his mouth and tugging with his teeth while his hand tweaked the other one between his fingers. You mewled at the feeling, arching your back and letting your head hang back.

You shivered at the cold air hitting his spit on your nipple as he turned his attention to your other breast. His hand slowly snuck behind you to find the zipper on your dress, pulling it apart with both hands until it was pooling at your waist.

You hopped back on the table as soon as you stepped out on the dress, spreading your legs so he could see your panties already damp with your arousal. San groaned, slowly lowering you until your back hit the desk and getting to his knees before you.

He pulled the underwear off you, and you shivered when your bare ass hit the cold wood. You yelped when he drew an invisible line along your heat with his finger, moaning when he followed it with his tongue.

“You’re so wet.” He growled out, inserting on finger into your dripping hole and you whined when you heard the loud squelch of your juices, “My baby girl is so naughty. Dripping wet at the thought of me fucking her in her dad’s office.”

“Sannie.” You whined, wanting him to stuff you full but he continued to move a single finger inside you, slowly.

“Are you gonna beg, baby? Beg me to make you cum right here, on your dad’s desk?” He taunted, licking your clit lightly and you gasped, arching your back off the table. He paid no mind to your groans and whines, continuing the torturous pace he set.

“Tell me should I eat you out right here, or bend you over and fuck you till you can’t walk?”

“Mmh, please.” You moaned out and he chuckled, wrapping his arms around your thighs, and tugging you closer to his mouth. You gasped loudly, tangling your fingers in his hair as he licked up your heat, making a sloppy mess of your cunt before he sank two fingers into you.

He didn’t give you a moment to adjust before he was thrusting his fingers in and out of you, pulling every single sound you could make out of your throat. He peppered a few kisses to your clit before tugging the bud between his teeth and you shrieked, pulling on his hair.

He pulled his fingers away for a second to deliver a mean slap to your pussy and your thighs spasmed around his head as he landed a couple more before pushing them back into you. With a couple more thrusts, your eyes were rolling back into your head as you came around his fingers, but San didn’t relent, fucking his fingers through your orgasm, taking you higher and higher.

You could hardly hear anything over the thumping of your heart in your ears, but you could feel your throat start to hurt from how much you were screaming, and San slapped your cunt one more time, catching your clit with one of his rings and it felt like you couldn’t even fucking breathe as you squirted all over him.

When the spots in your vision began to clear, you looked down to see San smirking at you with your cum dripping from the lower half of his face. He only wiped it with the back of his hand before meeting your lips in a kiss.

San pulled off his pants, wiping the bead of precum dribbling from the tip of his cock and hissing as he pumped himself a few times before he rolled on a condom. He tugged you off the desk and onto wobbling legs before turning you around, “Bend over for me baby.”

You didn’t listen. Instead, you smirked and grabbed his jaw tugging him behind the desk so he could settle into the leather chair before climbing over him. San mirrored the smirk on your face, running his hands over your still trembling thighs as you pulled him into a passionate kiss.

You positioned him to your twitching hole and San groaned at the feeling of your warm walls already sucking him in. After sharing another kiss, you began sinking down into it, taking his length all at once. You both moaned loudly, San dug his fingernails into your waist, his moans turning a little high pitched as you clenched so tightly around him when your hips met his.

You could feel the strain on your thighs as you lifted yourself off him, sinking back down with a loud moan before building up a steady pace. Your hands were holding into his shoulders for leverage as you fucked yourself on his dick, eyes rolling back into your skull.

“Feels good, yeah? Like me stuffing you full?” San growled out, flicking one of your nipples with his tongue and you squealed, walls fluttering around him.

“What about you, my sweet boy? Does it feel good? Do you like me squeezing your big cock like this? You’re so good for me, baby.” You cooed, drooling a little from just how good his tip felt when it brushed up against that one spot. San keened at the praise, peppering kisses to the valley between your breasts.

One of his hands left your waist to rub at your clit and you gasped, biting your lip hard as your pace picked up, ignoring the burning in your thighs.

San was close to cumming but held off until you were over the edge yourself, a borderline painful orgasm washing over you as you convulsed in his arms and clenched around him so tightly that he came, your walls milking him dry as they tightened around him like a vice.

You spent a few seconds in his arms, panting as you both tried to regain your breath. You shared another kiss, wiping away the little beads of sweat that were running down his neck. San pat your thigh to signal you to get off him however you jerked as soon as you tried to move, whimpering at the pain in your thighs.

“Ow, my legs are killing me, I cannot move.”

He grinned widely, “I literally fucked you until you couldn’t walk?”

You scoffed, “Excuse me, I did all the work!”

He tried to move off the chair with you in his arms, but the leather squealed loudly against his ass and the two of you burst into laughter. He delicately moved you off him, helping you put on your dress before he wiped the place clean and carried you to the bathroom for a soothing soak to help your sore muscles.

The only evidence that you both were ever there left in the office’s trashcan.

***

“Are you sleepy?” San asked, amused at the fact you tried to keep your eyes open despite being visibly exhausted. You had a huge presentation today that you had been preparing for the entire week. San had been the most attentive and encouraging, picking up books for you from the library, helping review your paper, he even made your power point file more eye-catching and heard your speech multiple times while you pretended that he was an audience.

The presentation counted a lot of your final grade, so it was understandable that you were so tense, worrying over every little detail and not having the time or the brain space to even take care of yourself at this point. San had taken over that aspect as well, making sure you were hydrated and well fed, receiving amounts of caffeine and healthy foods at intervals to keep your energy up.

“You should really take care of yourself, babe. One day I might not be there to do this for you.” San mumbled, massaging the shampoo into your scalp. You both sat in your tub, your back against his chest and nestled between both his legs, catching up on the sleep that you had lost the entire week either because you were working late, or your nerves wouldn’t let you have a peaceful rest.

Seeing you so peaceful and trusting in his arms made San feel things he had never felt before, he handled you with such a featherlight touch like he was scared you would shatter underneath his touch. He carefully washed the suds out of your hair, making sure the water was warm so you wouldn’t be startled awake before combing the conditioner through it.

With the same patience and delicate touch, he finished bathing you, leaving you to soak in the warm water for a few minutes while he pulled on a pair of sweats before coming back in the bathroom and gently waking you up. You whined and squirmed when you left the tub because of the cold but San was quick to shush you, enveloping you in a warm towel that was fresh from the dryer.

He switched on the heat in your room when he carried you in there, quickly wiping you dry and rubbing lotion into your skin before dressing you in your pyjamas. You were compliant this entire time, letting him mould your body like warm wax as he moved you around in an effort to get you completely dry and warm without making you do any work yourself.

After your hair was towelled dry, you both were underneath the covers, cuddled close to each other. The room was warm, and he felt like syrup next to you. You were deep asleep, half your subconscious still swaying as though you were still in the tub and while the bath wasn’t meant for his relaxation, San was feeling pretty blissed out laying beside your warm body.

Someone to love, someone to take care of, someone who let him take care of them. All these things were new to San, and he would be lying if he said he didn’t treasure it. The feeling of you cuddled up to him, finally getting the rest that you deserved made his heart swell, feeling satisfied just by watching you rest peacefully.

With it came a sinking feeling of dread that killed him a little on the inside.

He swallowed the lump in his throat with a little difficulty and held you a little closer, running his palms down your arms and legs to make sure you weren’t cold and brushing your still damp hair away from your face.

“I love you, so, so much. Please believe me. Please love me.”

His heart squeezed in his chest when you smiled subconsciously, holding onto him tightly.

***

“Why did you want to become a lawyer in the first place?” San asked curiously one morning while you reviewed for your Criminal Law class. In the time he had known you, you didn’t seem particularly passionate about defending people and their rights as you were about being paid to argue with people, so it made sense that he was curious.

He watched you work your ass off in your classes, always to pass with flying colours but you never seemed to take pride in it. San wouldn’t have thought differently of you if you said that you were only doing this because you just found it interesting or were in it for the money. Not every career needed to have some deep and philosophical meaning in life.

“To find a way I could get emancipated while keeping my inheritance.” You replied nonchalantly, shoving cereal into your mouth.

Before he could help it, San burst into laughter and you didn’t even pay any mind, though a small smile did spread on your face at the sound. You continued to eat your breakfast, going over the notes you had taken last class.

“That’s a funny joke.”

You paused, raising your head from your notebook to watch him with a perplexed frown.

“Joke?”

***

“So where are we headed again?”

San had been particularly excited about this date, finally excited to have a picnic with you as though the two of you didn’t usually talk and eat together anyway but you indulged him because he looked so adorable. Though it was frustrating that he refused to give any details about where you were going, no doubt it was just going to be some sort of forest or valley, but you promised yourself to act surprised and touched when he revealed it to you.

He even borrowed your car, refusing to even give you the address of where you were going. The picnic basket on your lap was filled to the brim with sandwiches, snacks, and drinks. He had definitely gone all out for this, and it was nice to see him so enthusiastic about a date, considering you spent most of your time together.

Now it had been almost an hour and a half since you began driving and you were starting to get a little restless, luckily you had been smart enough to force him to fill up the gas tank just as you both were leaving the city and now you were driving along the countryside road for nearly an hour. He drove past all the little towns and suburban complexes before the small houses and buildings started turning into forest tress.

“It’s a secret. Stop asking.”

“I’m going to die of curiosity or hunger at this rate.” You complained, fishing out a bag of chips and even though San scolded you for touching the food before you got there, he still asked you to feed him a couple of them.

As the road wound down, even though you both were far out the city, the number of cars on the road started to increase and then you were lined up behind a national park. You were confused because of the numerous cars that were honking and trying to overtake each other. Some even parked off the road right there and preferred to walk the rest of the way.

You noticed small families and couples walk closer to where all the cars were heading and curiously tried to peer over them even though you couldn’t see anything.

San chuckled at you, “You know you look like a meercat when you do that.”

“Wouldn’t have to if you just told me what this is.” You retorted, going as far as to unbuckle your seatbelt to see what all the commotion was for.

“Just have a little patience.”

The line took nearly a half hour to clear, and you were beyond irritated by that stupid red sedan behind you that honked and tried to get you to move when you clearly had to place to. San let you flip the driver off in the rear-view mirror only because he refused to let you out of the car and do it to his face.

But finally, you made it to the parking lot that was right beside wherever San was so giddy to take you. In the middle of a clearing there stood a tall red and white tent that looked like it could store about a hundred cars inside and you thought it looked vaguely familiar. It wasn’t until you saw the sign that was pointing to it did you realize where San had taken you.

The travelling circus that you had visited with your mom when you were only a child. You still remember mentioning it to San one night when he asked you about it. You told him that it was the last outing that you had with her before the court hearing where she lost custody and visitation. Your father had no doubt paid off everyone he possibly could to win the trial and after that you had never seen your mother again.

You only found out that she had passed a couple years after she died and even though it wasn’t your fault, the guilt of her dying all alone from grief that her child was ripped away from her stayed with you.

You remember San comforting you that night when you confessed that you barely could remember what she looked like.

San certainly didn’t complain when you tackled him into a hug, even though it was difficult to balance the picnic blanket and basket in his hands while you hung off his neck like a koala. You heard the chuckles of passer-by’s that looked at the two of you fondly and said something about young love, but you hardly paid them any mind, instead peppering kisses onto San’s face.

“I can’t believe you did this for me, I didn’t even think you remembered.”

“I’m glad you like it.” He chuckled, “Even though you nearly bit my head off this entire trip.”

“I love you.” You confessed earnestly, cupping his cheeks. San’s smile faltered for just a second before he was outright grinning, but it looked a little forced. You didn’t ask him about it, not wanting to ruin the mood since he had been so dedicated to make good memories today.

“I love you too.” And suddenly the moment was much more intimate than you were expecting it to be with San staring at you like you had strung all the stars in the sky. His voice was raw too, depicting just how honest he was being with you.

***

The ride back home was more peaceful this time because you were too tired out from the day you had. You weren’t to the point of falling asleep in the passenger seat, but the music choices changed to your ballad playlist and your conversation died out long before you entered the city again.

Now, you were just staring at the sparkly city lights that glittered against the window. San’s fingers drummed against the wheel, and you lazily watched as the signs passed before you realized that he missed the exit to go to your neighbourhood.

“Oh, you missed the exit.” You mumbled, poking at the glass pane like there was something to see.

“I thought we’d go back to my place tonight.” He replied and you let out an audible whine. You were tired and you really couldn’t process anything other than wanting to get into your comfortable bed.

“But mine’s closer.” You complained, wiggling your shoulders and San tried to hide a smile at your behaviour. ‘Tired and grumpy’ you was one of his favourite versions of you. He reached across the console to grab your hand and even though the simple touch of his skin was making you feel a little overstimulated after the day you had, you still let him hold onto it.

“I was hoping to make a special breakfast for you tomorrow. I already bought all the ingredients.”

The argument he made was very convincing and you sent him a sleepy smile in gratitude, “You didn’t have to do so much for me.”

Your words were beginning to slur from just how tired you were and when San watched you from the corner of his eye, he noticed how your blinks were taking twice as long. Smiling gently, he squeezed your hand and with fleeting glances he watched you fall asleep, holding his hand in yours.

The smile on his face fell just a little bit, “Believe me. I did.”

***

Many people liked starting their day with a glass of orange juice or coffee or water. Some swore that waking up and journaling was the best thing that ever happened to them. Many didn’t even bother with a morning routine, scrolling through their phones until they found any motivation to get up or they realized that they were incredibly late.

For you, waking up next to San was the best way to begin your day. That was one thing you realized when you were rudely awoken by the incessant buzzing of your phone on the nightstand. You both were still wearing the same clothes from last night, too tired to change into something else. San had taken off his shirt though, since he was too hot; temperature-wise but you definitely weren’t denying he was hot.

After your phone buzzed for like the fourth time that morning, you grabbed it from the nightstand so you could answer quickly before heading back to bed. When you tried to get out from underneath he covers, San was holding onto your waist, tugging you back into his arms.

“Where are you goinggg.” He whined groggily, voice deep with sleep and you giggled before kissing his jaw.

“Shhh, go back to sleep. I’ll only be a minute. I need to take a phone call.” You whispered and even though he whined and whimpered, he let you out of his grip, grabbing Shiber instead to replace you as his cuddle buddy.

You only answered the phone when you heard his bedroom door click shut behind you, “Hello?”

Sometimes you wondered what would have turned out from your life if you never answered that phone call from the housekeeper. You would have found out what happened either way but a part of you regretted picking up the call. There wasn’t any chance and it sounded absolutely ridiculous but maybe if you never answered and then never went home, you never would have realized.

The call was incredibly one-sided. You didn’t even speak a word, instead listening to the other side of the line as the blood drained out of your face and your hands began shaking.

San came out of the bedroom, looking incredibly sleepy and with an apparent pout on his face, “Did you pick up the call?”

“San—” You choked out, finally finding your voice but it was forced and strained. You felt like throwing up and crying all at once and even though you tried hard to keep your cool, you could feel tears brimming your eyes, “That was the housekeeper. She said my father’s office was broken into last night by a mafia gang named Ateez.”

The guilty look on his face was enough of an answer to your silent question. The tattoo of the word Ateez on his bicep mocked you and your stomach turned. You could barely stand straight, having to grip the counter to keep your knees from buckling and sending you tumbling to the ground.

“(Y/N) please listen—” He began but you couldn’t hear him, your ears were rushing with blood and the pounding of your heart reached your throat. It felt like someone was strangling you to death, a phantom grip around your throat making it harder to breathe.

You rushed to the kitchen, throwing open the fridge and his cabinets. Only a couple cans of beer and bottles of water were there, and the sight alone made you feel even worse. Your hands shook like a bartender’s glass, and you wanted to collapse right then and there, “‘Special breakfast’,my ass.”

“That time in my father’s office—” To get the codes to enter. “The date last night—” To make sure nobody would be in the house at night.

“Is that why—?” The question died on your tongue, but it felt like you both had heard it, ‘Is that why this all started?’

“(Y/N), I’m so sorry. Please believe me, I love you—”

A loud laugh cut him off, but it sounded more like a strangled scoff as tears began falling on your cheeks, “Love?! You call this love?! You screwed me over to get to my father! You fucked me and told me you loved me, and I believed you!”

You were frantically pushing back your hair with shaking hands, sobbing as something horrible and dark filled you up. Every inch of skin burned with the memory of San touching you with his tainted hands, every memory was taunting you with the sting of betrayal and you sobbed out, “Oh my god, I believed you.”

“I know I did something horrible; I know you hate me for this but please believe me, I never meant for it to turn out this way—” San’s voice was thick with tears, and he tried to approach you, but you backed away from him. It felt like if he touched you, you were going to burst into flames. Not the kind of heat that made you feel excited to be with him, in this moment you couldn’t remember what that felt like but now it felt like you were getting burned, and it hurt.

“You—You let me give you everything I had,” Your voice was cracking, and your throat was hurting from the strength you were using to keep the tears at bay even though they were rolling down your face in hot streams, “I gave you my love, my trust, my everything. And you were using me all this time—Don’t touch me!”

Everything was falling around you, crumbling to the ground. The world that you thought you had with San now crumbled to dust as hot blood rained down on you. Everything you thought you knew disappeared in a second and you had never felt so violated, so alone and scared before. You felt like you had just been punched in the gut by an iron fist.

“(Y/N), I’m sorry.” He cried and you almost believed him. You looked into his red and teary eyes and for a second you almost believed him. The housekeeper was lying, the security had it wrong, San was right. He was your safe space, your loving boyfriend that would never do anything to hurt you. For a second you almost believed him.

And then the second passed.

“I hate you.” You spat, with an anger that burned hotter than your skin, “And I hate myself even more for trusting you.”

When San heard the door slam shut, all the sobs he had been holding in finally left him and he was forced to his knees in the living room, wailing loudly and crying while he clutched his heart that felt like it was being ripped right out of his chest.

***

San’s eyes stilled burned from the amount of crying he did before getting on the plane and he was sure they were rimmed with red with bags underneath that felt like they were carrying hell. Probably were, considering he belonged in hell because of the things he did to you.

At first it was just a job, the target being a horrible old man that owed something long overdue to Ateez. And how to get to him? By gaining the trust of his daughter.

He was fine with it in the beginning, having done this multiple times. It was always spoilt, prissy rich girls who stepped on the people below them and tried to pull down the people above them. It was always the same. It wouldn’t take long for them to fall for his looks and try to get him to have sex with them.

You were different. Curiously intelligent and hardworking even though you could get everything handed to you on a silver platter. He found it intriguing that you chose to go law school instead of relying on daddy’s money till you got married to another person that would give you money. But you worked hard to get where you were and continued to work hard to get further than anyone else.

He thought you’d be pretentious, but you were totally genuine.

He thought you’d be conceited but instead you were humble.

He thought you’d be someone he’d grow to hate, but you turned out to be someone he loved beyond words.

Just thinking about it made him feel like crying all over again.

“Excuse me,” Came a soft voice, gently pinching at his hoodie and San looked up to see a girl with messy braids, looking distraught, “You’re in my seat. I’m in seat 16.”

San didn’t even bother to check if she was right before he snarled at her, “Find another seat.”

Neither of them was expecting her to begin crying and her voice was tight when she tried to argue with him, “Look, I’m already having a bad day so can you please—”

“I’ll switch with you sweetheart.” Came from the old man sitting beside him and he too kindly took his bag before leaving to find another seat. Sniffling, she slid into the seat beside San and placed her bag on her lap.

“Sorry, for crying,” She whispered to him, “I’m just having one of those days.”

San frowned. In the span of 72 hours, he managed to make two women cry and even though he didn’t give a shit about the girl sitting beside him, it made him feel sick thinking about your heartbroken face and how it looked like you could pass out any second. He wondered if you made it home alright.

Perhaps it was a little cowardly for him to run away but he honestly thought that he was doing what you would have wanted from him; never to see him ever again. Even though it broke his heart to know that he’ll never get to say a proper goodbye to you, he left anyway. He deserved to have his heart broken anyway.

Sighing, he pulled a flask out of his jacket that he was planning on drinking when the images of your face didn’t leave him and unscrewed the top of it, “Well, 16, that makes two of us.”

***

4 years later

“I knew that you were being too nice today. ‘Let’s go for a drive, I’ll buy you food’ my ass.” You sighed out, rubbing your temples as you tried to spot a place for your friend to drop you off. She had been badgering you on and on for days, trying to get you to take a case pro-bono. You obviously said hell no; what was the point of this career if you weren’t getting paid?

Tae Eul was adamant, however, and now she managed to get you into the one place you wouldn’t be able to get out of without hearing her side of the argument.

“Please just consider it. I wanted to file a police report for attempted abduction and assault, but the victim wouldn’t let me.” Tae Eul was a detective and apparently didn’t know how to separate work from her personal life. You only rolled your eyes and looked out the window, unable to play on your phone since she had been smart enough to take it away from you.

“You know you have too much of a bleeding heart, right? I work in law, everyone comes in with some sort of sob story about why I should defend them, doesn’t mean they’re all right. The worst of these assholes are the ones who believe their own bullshit. You say she’s totally innocent, but I bet she’s some sort of gangster, why else would she have people on her ass?”

Your friend sighed beside you. While Tae Eul was a sworn protector of the people and straight as an arrow when it came to her principles, you on the other hand had seen just how low people could stoop while trying to keep their money, status, or freedom.

She protected people from evil monsters who tried to harm others; you had monsters begging you to make them into angels in the eyes of the people.

“She didn’t want to take this to court, she’s scared that getting the authority’s attention to this could either take the kid away from her or forcefully give the kid back to her asshole father.” Tae Eul explained and though you were trying to ignore her, this was starting to pique your interest.

“You don’t have to take her case, just hear her out and then make the judgment yourself.”

Sighing, you nodded your head, realizing you had nothing to lose by just listening to whatever this client had to tell you. And if you decided not to defend her in court then at least you could tell Tae Eul that you gave it a shot.

“Great because we’re on our way to meet them right now!”

“This bitch.”

“In all fairness, it took way longer than expected to convince you. I underestimated your selfishness.” Tae Eul liked to nag you about your selfish nature, but you certainly didn’t hear her complaining the day you got your first paycheck and made it rain in the living room while you both danced and got drunk. No, you believe her words were ‘Damn if this is what strippers feel like every night, I’m quitting tomorrow!’

“If I was all for selfless acts then I would’ve become a prosecutor.” You sighed, trying to rub away the migraine that was forming in your head, “I can’t believe you’re making me work during my one-hour break.”

“I’ll really owe you for this, (Y/N).”

You scoffed, “Trust me, you’ll pay me back for this. Not with your tax funded salary however, I don’t need chump change.”

“You’re gonna make me cry.”

***

The case did in fact catch your interest. Whether it was because of the way the girl was sincerely asking you if a case for full custody was the right way to go about this. Yoonah, who you found out was the child in question’s maternal aunt became the sole caregiver after her sister dropped her off at her place one night and then disappeared.

Now the person who claimed he was the biological father is trying to get her back, even going as far as attempted kidnapping and assaulting her aunt.

The reason she didn’t want to bring this to court was because she was afraid the court ruling would be in favour of the child’s father, and she couldn’t fail her sisters last request of her.

The interesting part of this was that her father was a known gang member. Well, it wasn’t “known” as in legally, but everyone practically knew that he was bad news. How Yoonah’s sister ended up having a baby with him was beyond you, but you knew better than anyone how these mafia members could manipulate people into trusting them.

Now, it was just her luck that she happened to stumble across Tae Eul who just so happened to be friends with the best lawyer in town; you. As much as it hurt you that your bank account wouldn’t be gaining any extra zeroes from a case against a huge mafia member, you felt bad to turn her away. It’s not like anyone else would take her case and she wouldn’t go ahead and give her information to a lawyer she couldn’t trust.

The first meeting you had with Yoonah was extremely informal and not just because it took place in the back of a fried chicken restaurant; you didn’t bring any official documents or go over what documents you’d need from her. So, you both exchanged contacts and for the second meeting, you were better prepared to go forward with a custody lawsuit.

She sent you the address she was staying at for the time being, since she was afraid of someone breaking into her apartment while trying to get to her niece, she had moved in with a friend of hers named Yeosang and you were meeting her today at his place.

Just as you pulled into the heavily guarded compound, you looked at the giant gated estate and the giant mansion with multiple wings that stood in the middle of it. The sour thought of not getting paid flashed through your head as you stared at the giant house in front of you.

Despite that, you simply sighed and grabbed your things before walking to the front door and knocked on the door.

When it swung open, the man behind it stared at you with wide eyes, surprised you were standing there, “You?”

“I’m Han Yoonah’s attorney. Did she mention I’d be stopping by?” You asked, wondering if you had gotten the date right. Of course, you did, it had taken a lot of time to free up a day in your busy schedule considering you had other trials and clients and you had given up going to get your hair and nails done as well as did overtime the last few days to make time for this today.

“You’re her attorney?”

“Yes? Have we met before?”

“No, no, you just look like my friend’s ex-girlfriend.” That really should have been your first hint, but you just thought he was weird and followed him through the house until you both reached a wide dining room.

Yoonah was sitting at the table with her niece beside her but when she noticed you walk through the doors her face lit up and she was ushering the child to go so you both could have a discussion without any questions about which was your favourite Winx Club fairy. You had no idea what Winx Club even was but told her that you both liked the same fairy, she squealed in excitement and even gave you some French fries as a reward.

You went home that night and read up about it just so you didn’t feel like you exploited a 4-year-old for French fries.

Just as you were pulling out your computer and a couple contracts from your handbag, the man that opened the door came striding in the room.

“Listen, thanks for coming down here today but I’m afraid we won’t be in need of your services.”

You raised a brow, ignoring how much of that statement made you sound like a prostitute. Yoonah looked surprised but you were more curious than offended, “That’s your decision, but may I ask why?”

“Uh, I’m not exactly sure how to—”

“(Y/N)?”

You know the phrase ‘speak of the devil and they appear’? Well, nobody had called his ass so what the hell was S(at)an doing here?

“Well, this certainly makes things more interesting.”

Yoonah looked between the both of you with an apprehensive look, “Do you two know each other?”

“Not really.” You answered, the same time as San said “Yes.”. There was a beat of silence where San’s expression fell, and you took the moment to look him up and down. Not much had changed about him, he looked pretty much the same other than his hair that was now dyed black with a layer of grey.

You had to admit that seeing him again, in person, was weird. The day you left San’s apartment, you cried all the tears you could produce on the car ride back but once you pulled up to your house, it was like all hell broke loose. You had shit to do and couldn’t waste it lying in bed and crying about some shitty ex-boyfriend. You were filled with absolute rage.

Your father had gone on the run, not having enough time to even transfer a lot of money to himself so the first thing you did was close all his accounts after having transferred his money to yourself. Any future incoming money from sources other than his company would be donated.

Then you sold the house for a good price and bought yourself an apartment near the university so that you’d never have to take the train again. You bought all new things, of course, especially new sheets and a new bed. And everything of San’s was doused in soju and thrown in the fireplace. You kept a few of your fathers’ cars for yourself but sold the rest. You even found the staff at your home other jobs and regularly visited them.

For a few weeks, that kept you busy. And then suddenly everything hit you like a truck. You barely remember that week, being too drunk out of your mind to leave the apartment. The week after that was better when you got sick of drinking. Then you got sick of staying at home. Then you got sick of being depressed. Then you got sick of keeping to yourself and living like a social pariah.

And then suddenly you were back to where you were before you met San.

For a couple years, it felt like he was just an illusion, a fever dream. You didn’t have nightmares about him, you didn’t get waves of sadness when he suddenly flashed through your head, you barely even thought of him. Looking back, you realized it was because there was no one named San existing in your head anymore.

No, he was a guy that tricked you and made you feel like shit, but it was very easy to forget once you stopped feeling like shit. Afterall, why would anyone stop in their day and wonder why they felt bad once upon a time. Not you. No, you worked your ass off to make sure that you never felt like shit again and that even on your worse days, you were better than everybody else could dream to be.

Now your wall was decorated with your accomplishments. Your diploma from when you graduated with straight A’s. The letter you got from your law firm when you began your fourth year asking you to join them when you graduated. And of course, right beside it was your bank statement, the thing that made you the happiest person that could ever exist.

Seeing San in person now didn’t hit you with a whip of reality, making you realize whatever he had done to you was all real. Luckily for the both of you he didn’t look exactly the same as the day you left, his face was sharper and his hair darker and that was enough for you to treat him like another person.

“Yes, we’re Ateez and Yoonah here is our associate so you can see why we wouldn’t exactly want you representing her.” Even though Yeosang explained it kindly, you couldn’t help the way your expression soured. Did they actually think you were going to do something to sabotage the trial to get back at them?

“How pathetic do you think I am?”

“This really isn’t about you, more like protecting our own interests.”

Agree with him and you don’t offer your time and practice for no money. On the other hand, it’ll make it seem as though you’re pathetic enough to let your personal feelings get in the way of your profession. What’s more important to you; money or pride?

Money feels like the no brainer, you didn’t have to waste your time or skills on something you weren’t getting paid for and against some huge mafia boss that would definitely remember your face. On the other hand, the thought of you going home without a fight and then Ateez laughing about how after four years you’re still affected by them made your blood boil with fury.

Pride was definitely more important. Especially since you already had money.

“While I’d be all to happy to leave and find a paying client, I’m trying to look out for your best interests Yoonah-ssi. I’ve done a background check on the person you’re suing and there isn’t a lawyer out there in his right mind that would take your case pro-bono.” You explained calmly and watched her expression fall. Though it did make you feel slightly empathetic, you were trying very hard not to let your emotions get roped up into this.

Yoonah was a woman of strong morals, if Ateez tried to help her from their side, no doubt it would involve some very illegal procedures and she wanted no part of that. Good for her, better for you.

Yeosang stood beside her protectively and shot you a foul glare, “You think you’re the only clean lawyer out there?”

You smirked, “Let me rephrase. I’m the only lawyer who’d take this case pro-bono. And win.”

“And why do you want this so badly?”

You shrugged nonchalantly, “Call me sentimental but I think a child custody case against some mafia asshole would be like killing two life traumas with one stone.”

***

It had been about 2 months since going forward with the lawsuit for child custody, the defendant responded, and a court date was set. Thankfully for the time being the attempted abductions and such were stopped because they knew it could be used as evidence against them. Well, Yoonah considered it thankful; you on the other hand thought it was unfortunate.

Now it was finally the day of the first hearing and usually it would have been done in a private court but since the defendants are countersuing for child abduction. Usually when it came to trials, you got a huge urge to win rather than beat others however when you received the paperwork for the countersue, instead of getting worried and worked up, you felt the inexplicable desire to crush the competition underneath your heel.

Now on the date of the court hearing, you were storming through the halls with burning resolve and Ateez trailing behind you.

Even though you wished to ignore him, the defendants lawyer stopped you in the middle of the corridor with a condescending smile. Mr. Jang was an old fart that owned a huge law firm in the country and had personally head hunted you. He was top dog at his own law firm, and you had to admit, very impressive when it came to his performance in court; it was the only reason you had even considered the job.

However, after a dinner where he tried to put his hand up your skirt you had promptly told him to fuck off before leaving.

Since then, you had beaten every lawyer he had sent your way and now it seems he was summoned from hell itself to look the devil in the eye. You.

“Ms. (L/N), lovely to see you again. Good luck during the trial.” He said, holding out his hand kindly but you knew underneath those honeyed words and amiable eyes was just bitter hatred for you.

You glanced at his hand with disgust, ignoring the handshake and instead gave him a winning smile, “To you as well, Mr. Jang. Don’t worry, I’ll buy you a celebratory drink when I win.”

He chuckled, “I think you’re overestimating yourself, my dear. No matter, maybe you’ll learn your place when you lose.”

“We’ll just see about that won’t we. See you in court, bitch.” You smirked, confidence flashing in your eyes and when he scowled and opened his mouth to reply, you took it as your cue to walk into the courtroom and set up at the plaintiff’s table.

***

The trial started off well, with you pleading Yoonah’s case and appealing to the judges’ sense of humanity. It was surprising how quickly they got on board as soon as you started mouthing off some sentimental rubbish about found family and things like that. Since the evidence was more or less superficial, you’d have to appeal to sentiment and some well-educated assumptions.

You had taken notes about the defendant’s defence, noting down what points they were trying to use to appeal to the judges. So far it seemed like they were just trying to say that since the mother left no will, the daughter legally should be under her biological father’s care. He had a few small encounters with the law (small meaning that the big things were hidden) but has been clean for the last few years (because he has minions that can do his dirty work now) and is turning his life around.

Then came the counter questioning and you stood up immediately.

“And to the defendant, how do you expect to care for a child when you have no previous experience of any kind?” You asked and noticed how Mr. Jang began smirking. Yes, your first question was weak, you realized that, but it was all intentional.

“I suppose just like anyone else. Not everybody has experience from beforehand, but you learn these things and I don’t think it’s a reason for me to lose my daughter.” He appealed and you could see Yoonah deflate from the corner of your eye. Your heart panged a bit, you knew how stressed she was about this, but you weren’t going to let her down.

“And you know that a child isn’t just a sentimental object, right? Taking care of a child is an investment; you must spend millions in their life in school funds, health insurance and God forbid if something unfortunate happens, you need to be able to provide funds for her. Do you have the income for that?”

“Of course, I do.” He answered haughtily and you took some refuge knowing he thought you were an idiot, “I make well over 8 figures a year. I can take care of my daughter even better than she can.”

And there it was.

You smiled brightly, walking over to your table to pull the files you had stacked there, “Well, a large income, remarkable assets and his case pleads well. Why shouldn’t the child be placed under his care? —”

In the stands, San and Yeosang were watching nervously as you suddenly began singing the defendant’s praises. Yeosang growled underneath his breath, “I knew we never should have trusted her.”

San glanced back at you with his heart sinking in his chest. He knew that he was the absolute worst and you deserved to get revenge on him but were you really going to make someone innocent suffer for whatever he did to you? The thought of Yoonah losing her niece because of him made him sick to his stomach.

“—Probably because he’s guilty of tax evasion for the last 10 years.” You spat, voice icy and cold as you walked to the judge’s bench to hand over the documents.

“It’s stated in your tax records that you make less that 5k each year.” You began, smirking the look of anxiousness on their face, “You are aware that lying under oath is an offense? Punishable with up to 5 years in prison or a hefty fine? ‘Well over 8 figures’, you say. Well, that would mean in the last 10 years, you owe the government nearly 50 million.”

It was a lose-lose situation, orchestrated by the greatness that was yourself. Admit that he makes a lot of money and he’s guilty of tax evasion and lying on an official document, costing him nearly 4 years of income. Say that his tax documents are correct means he’s guilty of perjury* and proven unfit to take care of a child.

“So, which is it, defendant? Are you guilty of perjury or tax evasion?” You drawled, walking over to his table, and slamming your hands on the table. The gleam in your eye was frankly terrifying to Mr. Jang and you revelled in the sight of his stressed expression, “Which is it?”

“Objection your honour: badgering!”

“Then you better answer quickly, defendant.” The judge replied calmly, and you smirked when he finally admitted that he lied, not wanting to pay the overdue tax fees and get a punishment on top of that. Lying under oath is an offense punishable by time in prison, or a huge fine with probation. Meaning their countersue would most likely fall apart and now the trial was falling in your favour.

The only thing that could make this better would be if you actually got to step on the competition with your red bottoms but that would be “disorderly conduct”.

“So, your honour. The defendant has admitted to perjury and is that really the kind of person you would wish to raise the youth of our country? The kind that would think it was acceptable to lie in a court, the establishment that protects the rights of the citizens, simply to get their way. If we let him do that, we are laughing in the face of our legal system. And on top of that, he has no money to support her. 5k per year can barely pay a yearly school fee, never mind essentials, utilities, housing, and food.”

San chuckled underneath his breath when you turned your back to the judge and had the audacity to wink at Mr. Jang with the most infuriating smirk on your face and turned back to Yeosang, who had a look of slight awe on his face, “Couldn’t trust her, huh?”

“The judge rules in favour of the plaintiff. The child in question will remain in plaintiff’s care. Court dismissed.”

“NO!” The defendant leapt across the table to try and tackle you, his arms out as though he was trying to choke you, and everyone jumped into action. San jumped over the stands to intercept him, and they fell to the ground before the officers came to restrain him.

“Your honour, the defendant is obviously a little unstable. Do you think we could get a court ordered restraining order?”

“Of course.” The judge chuckled at your calm behaviour and how you hadn’t even flinched when you were the one that he was trying to choke out. It was almost like you knew it was going to happen.

That’s because you did.

A couple weeks ago, you were having a private meeting with the members of Ateez when Yoonah had to go and put down her niece and you got a few moments alone with them. Yoonah was so ethical, she would never agree to what you were going to suggest so you simply waited until she wasn’t there to hear you.

“Listen, when I win—” You ignored the way Yeosang scoffed at your confidence and pressed, “When I win, we’re going to need a clear-cut victory. A reason even an appeal would fall through so I need you to do something.”

You pulled out a medical report, “Unsurprisingly, this guy takes antidepressants for either anxiety or anger management. It gets prescribed to him from this hospital. I need you to go in and switch it out for some sugar pills or painkillers. So, at the time of the trial, he’s facing a withdrawal and would end up losing it.”

“Isn’t that illegal?” Yunho accused and you turned to him with a fake smile.

“I’m sorry, is that a gun in your pants or are you just excited to see me?”

Embarrassed, Yunho cleared his throat, “Point taken.”

***

While you weren’t exactly thrilled about spending more time with Ateez, when Yoonah and her niece used their combined pleading eyes you couldn’t reject their invitation for dinner and some celebratory drinks. Considering their identical puppy faces, you were surprised they weren’t twins.

And their powers were the reason you were currently sipping on a Sazerac while watching Wooyoung and Jongho’s girlfriend, Sooji dance and party. The others had made the intelligent decision to decline. Yeosang was keeping sober to take care of Yoonah’s niece while the aunt in question got black out drunk. It looked like she hadn’t let loose in a very long time, and you were kind of surprised to know that when she was drunk, she acted like a child. Ironic.

Yoonah had been giggling the entire night, whispering in Yeosang’s ear about childish things while he was just nodding and replying occasionally when he was asked a question. Halfway through your drink, she suddenly decided to start playing hide and seek, scurrying away from the dining room to hide. Obviously, no one followed her but to just keep her occupied for a while, Yeosang began counting and you chuckled.

You finished the drink and called yourself an Uber, telling them that you’d see them around when in reality you had no intention of ever meeting with them again. So far you had treated them humanely but in all honestly you were still kind of upset at them. Yes, your father was a horrible person and deserved everything that came to him, but using you to get to him was low, especially considering that you thought everything was genuine.

Yoonah came stumbling back into the room and ran right into Yeosang’s arms (who looked kind of flustered, but you didn’t say it out loud) and even though you wanted to say goodbye, you were pretty sure she wouldn’t even remember it the next morning. So, instead you just made your way to the table where you left your bag.

Except it wasn’t there.

“Where’s my bag?”

Yoonah began giggling, “I toooold you we were playing hide and hide and hide and go seek. The bag is hidididng.”

Oh my goodness this girl was drunk out of her mind.

“I’ll help you look.” Yeosang offered but you shook your head, pitying him because of the woman hanging off his arm and complaining that she was sleepy.

“It’s okay, I’ll look. You just put her to bed.”

The halls were wide and never-ending it seemed; you felt like you were walking through a maze but every room you peeked through neither had your bag, nor had it looked like a drunk girl had wandered through it. You noticed a door with light peeking underneath it and knocked lightly when you heard someone shuffling behind it.

“What—(Y/N).”

So far, San had been keeping his distance from you, something you weren’t sure you were grateful for or extremely irritated by. But now it seemed like you had come knocking at his door and even though you wished you were, you certainly weren’t disappointed by the sight of San, answering his door without a shirt.

“Did Yoonah come and stash my bag here?”

Out of context, yes that sounded weird, but San only shook his head and you nodded, almost turning away from him before your eyes caught onto something on his body.

“What the hell is that?!” You screeched, pointing at his chest and for a second San really had no idea what you were talking about until he looked and checked for himself. He froze for a second and then backed away, grabbing the door to shut it in your face but you held it open and forced yourself into the room to stare at it with wide eyes.

On his chest were the letters of your name scrawled so prettily like a label of possession.

“You tattooed my name on yourself? What the hell were you thinking?!” Was this romantic or just incredibly creepy? This guy who had no idea you were going to meet again had tattooed your name on his skin, for what?

“I was just—I just—” San looked like a deer caught in headlights, staring at you with wide eyes while your gaze prodded and poked at him like needles. If he was being honest, he thought you’d never find out, “I just wanted you close to me. This was the best I could do.”

“I don’t get it, you fake-date me to try and screw over my father and then after you get what you wanted and leave, you get my name tattooed on your chest? Don’t tell me you actually had feelings for me.” You replied, incredulously.

“I do have feelings for you, (Y/N).” Do, not did.

“Look, I know what I did was wrong, and I really do regret it. Even though I didn’t intend it, I ended up falling in love with you. And I still do.”

“That doesn’t change anything.” You spat, suddenly defensive, “You lied to me about everything.”

“I never lied.” He said suddenly but with a firm voice and your brows went toward your hairline, “Excuse me?”

“Yes, I concealed the truth and yes, I may have lied about why I joined law school, but I never lied to you. I couldn’t bear the sight of you actually believing me while I deceived you, so aside from that special breakfast thing that last night, I never lied to you.”

You couldn’t help the scoff that left you, “Well congratulations, you’re now the winner of the ‘not-as-big-a-jerk-as-you-could-have-been’ award!”

“I deserve that.” He chuckled, and his hand went towards his waist where he expected to find the hem of his shirt before he realized that he still wasn’t wearing one. You kind of despised yourself for remembering his nervous tendencies. Embarrassed, (though you weren’t sure why, you had seen it all before) San went to grab a shirt and you let your eyes wander around the room until they landed on the familiar plushie on the bed.

“You still have that?”

San poked his head out of his closet, following your eyes to Shiber sitting innocently on his bed and he blushed, “Yeah, it was a gift from you.”

Shiber wasn’t exactly looking his best, a little tattered and way dirtier since you had last seen him, from the countless nights San held him and cried and then he faced absolute chaos the night Yunho tried to burn him as a satanic cleansing ritual. But it oddly touched you that he kept it. It was easy to lie but the tattoo on his chest and the plushie that you had almost forgotten about were now starting to convince you that not all of it was lies.

Walking over to his bed, you plopped yourself down onto the comfy mattress and pulled the stuffed toy into your lap and gently playing with the loose threads, careful not to pull the stitches apart. After a few seconds, you finally spoke up softly, “What are you trying to do?”

San sighed, “To apologize? To confess? I’m trying but I don’t know what I could possibly say to turn this around.”

He padded over to sit beside you and you both remained with your shoulders pressed together, staring at nothing in front of you.

“I’m sorry, (Y/N),” He whispered, “For everything. But please know that what we had was never a lie. I loved you then and I still do now. Do you think that we could ever go back to where we used to be?’

“I don’t think I can ever trust you again.” You admitted and San’s heart jumped in his chest when you stood up to leave. He couldn’t let you slip through his fingers again, not so easily. He was on his feet in a split second, wrapping a hand around your wrist lightly. His grip wasn’t enough to hold you there and if you really wanted to leave, all you had to do was pull your hand away and he’d let you go. It shouldn’t have held so much meaning, but it did. The fact that if you genuinely wanted to leave, he’d let you.

“You said it yourself, (Y/N). Trust is earned, not given. And I will spend my entire life trying to earn it back from you. But please, please just tell me that you can still love me again someday. If you tell me truthfully that you can never love me again, I’ll never come in front of you again but if you think that there’s some tiny part of you that can still feel for me again, please give it a chance.” He begged.

You raised your eyes to meet his, alarmed by how teary they were and how tight your voice was, “I don’t want to be that stupid girl that fell for your façade again, San.”

“You aren’t stupid, (Y/N). I was the stupid one for letting something so good slip through my hands. I was the stupid one for abusing your trust. I was the stupid one for hurting you.” San’s voice was just as strained as yours and his eyes were shining with unshed tears, “And if you accept me then I’ll spend the rest of my life proving to you that this wasn’t a stupid choice.”

“I—I don’t know.”

“You don’t have to tell me now. It’s okay, I’m sorry for overwhelming you. Just think about it and if you do have an answer, then call or text me, my number is still the same.” This was exactly what you fell for the first time. The consideration, the concern, the habit of putting your worries and thoughts first. It was what made you love him in the first place, and you were so scared that it had all been an act. And you were scared that it was still an act.

“I’ll think about it.” You promised and then it was like the conversation never happened. You both went your separate ways and to everyone you seemed no different, except now the old wounds in your heart that you had clumsily sewn together had been ripped open and were now begging you to accept the bitter medicine of learning to trust again so they can heal or go on pretending like nothing happened until you bled out.

***

It had been weeks since San had last heard from you and at this point, he was convinced that you wanted nothing to do with him. Though it hurt twice as much after letting his hopes get up, he also couldn’t blame you. He broke your trust and no matter how much he repented and how much he loved you, sometimes people just couldn’t go back to how they were.

He just wished that you could be happy. Even if you were happy without him.

San erased the thought from his head when the train pulled up to the station, getting in and finding an empty row to sit in. He had cars and other means of transport but when it came to personal days where he just had a couple errands or had to get any place by himself, he always took the train.

He told Ateez it was just more convenient but they all knew it was so he could reminisce. Afterall, the train is where he had met you in the first place, even though it wasn’t the same exact train. It was where you spent your mornings together, talking energetically as you went to university, and it was where you fell asleep on his shoulder on the rides back when you were both too tired to speak.

Sometimes when San would take the train somewhere, he’d make it through the whole trip without thinking of you and other times something would trigger a memory he didn’t know he had, and he’d be treasuring another memory of you.

Today he wasn’t remembering anything, and he was trying hard not to think about you, it was obvious that you just wanted a life without him and even though he thought he deserved the opposite, he was going to try to get over you.

The sight of buildings slowly blurred as the train picked up in speed before stopping again at another station. San continued to stare out of the window, not paying attention as people entered the train car and shuffled around. He didn’t even flinch when someone sat beside him until they cleared their throat.

He barely spared a glance before his eyes widened and he froze in his seat. You were sat beside him, in a comfortable hoodie and jeans, smiling softly at him. It took weeks of thinking for you to consider giving him a chance, but even though it was wrong and if you had been a third party, you’d be chastising the girl for going back to him, you felt like you’d regret it if you didn’t.

Maybe that was foolish of you, trusting his words again but you wanted to take this chance. You wouldn’t give him your heart that easily this time. No, it would take nearly a year of San proving his loyalty to you time and time again before you decided to wholeheartedly trust him. The scars from the past were still there, the wounds didn’t heal seamlessly and some days they were more apparent to you than others, but you’d still bear your heart to him after a while.

But before the long journey came of building your relationship back to what it used to be and better, you decided to give San a chance again and met him on the train in a messy hoodie and jeans and smiled up at him, choosing to forget the betrayal for that second and just remember him as the man you loved and will one day love again.

“I’m sorry for bothering me but do you know what station I have to get off to get to the amusement park?”

San laughed breathily, feeling tears prick at the corner of his eyes and he grabbed your hand, threading your fingers together, “I’m headed to the same place, so I can take you there."

*Perjury - the offence of willfully telling an untruth or making a misrepresentation under oath.

[dreamescapeswriting]

BTS Reaction || Mafia - You Put Yourself In Danger [Request]

MASTERLISTS

TW: Mentions of violence, drugging, mugging, shootings, blood, kidnapping, torture (not descriptive) please do not read if any of this makes you uncomfortable! Your mental wellbeing is more important than a piece of writing. Love you x

SEOKJIN: 

It was no secret that your husband was one of the largest mafia leaders in Seoul but that meant you and he were always at risk. Always. You had learnt to always look over your shoulder and second guess everything that was happening around you. 

"Why wouldn't you just stay in the restaurant?!" Your guard yelled as you continued to storm down the streets in search of your husband. Jin had dimmed it fit to walk out on your date that you were having and you weren't going to stand for it. It was the first time either of you was going to be able to spend time with each other for the longest time before he went away on a trip. 

"I want to see what my husband dims so important that he leaves me behind with the help," You knew it was wrong to snap at your guard, he was your sixth one in the last three months because none of them would protect you well enough - In Jin's eyes at least. But you didn't want to be guarded all of the time, you knew how to take care of yourself since Jin enrolled you in countless self-defence classes. 

"Jin?" You called out seeing him standing in an alleyway, speaking with someone who was wearing all black with a mask covering their face. It didn't look good and as soon as Jin heard your voice he turned to look at you with a look of pure fear in his eyes. You weren't supposed to be here, 

"Leave!" He boomed out but you weren't going to leave him in an alley with someone you didn't know, not to mention without some of his men by his side.

"We told you to come alone," A deep voice spoke from the masked man and you inched closer to your husband, trying to bring him with you but he shook your hand away. 

"She followed-"

"You had instructions, Mr Kim." The voice cut him off and a chill ran down your spine as the masked man began to reach inside of his jacket, sliding something metallic out. Sweat began to drip down your forehead as soon as you knew it was a gun,

"JIN!" You screeched darting in front of your husband before the gunshot rang out. In all of the times, you'd heard guns before you'd been in the safety of your home or they were on the TV it was different in person. It sounded like a loud pop followed by echoing thanks to the small alley that you were all crowded inside of.

"Yn?" Jin held you tighter than he had ever held you before and you whined, there was a pain up and down your left side and it got worse the tighter he held you. 

"That hurts, Jin let go." You begged as he shook his head, your eyes finally looked at him and he had blood splatters across his cheeks. 

"Did he get you?!" You panicked reaching your hand up to touch him but you gasped feeling it harder to move, it was as if part of your body had fallen asleep for too long. 

"He got you," Jin whined as he gazed down to where his hand was clutching your side, you swiped his hand away and shook your head. 

"It's not that bad," You lied looking at the whole in your dress and side as blood seeped through and onto the fabric, maybe white wasn't the best choice for the night.

"Not that bad? Are you looking at it!?" He was pissed, rightfully so. He always told you never to follow him if he got up and left suddenly. To stay away from him if he looked as if he was doing something dangerous, 

"You deliberately put yourself in danger," He scolded, half sounding pissed and half concerned.

"He was going to kill you," You justified as sirens could be heard flowing through the streets,

"We need to go before the cops come, you'll get caught." You begged but Jin shook his head. While other times he used his own medic for his injuries he wasn't going to risk it with you.

"I called an ambulance, you're going to get seen too." He was strict with you and it wasn't as though you were in any kind of situation to argue with him about it so you nodded. Laying your head down on his chest as you tried to keep your eyes from shutting, you were so tired.

After your surgery Jin had gotten more guards than you could count on one hand, telling you that he didn't care if you didn't want them they weren't to leave your side. At all. He never wanted to go through that ever again, you never should have followed him in the first place.

"You still mad at me?" You questioned sitting beside him on the bed as he hummed tiredly, he wasn't mad at you but he was annoyed with you. 

"How could you do something so stupid?" He grumbled, still sounding pissed at you and rightfully so. You should have done as you were told and waited inside of the restaurant.

"Because he was going to kill the man I loved," You mumbled, looking down at the food in front of you suddenly losing your appetite, it had been weeks and you thought he was over this by now. Clearly, you were wrong. 

"I was wearing a bullet proof vest-"

"What if he aimed for your head?" You cut him off just as angry with him as he was with you. The moment the gun had gone off was constantly playing in your head, you were thankful you were there. You wouldn't take back what you had done. 

"You're stubborn," Jin grumbled, running his fingers up and down your arm as you shivered a little, 

"It's why you love me." You teased as he hummed, leaning forward and giving you a small kiss. Yes, he was still mad at you but he was going to do what he could to protect you more and make sure this never happened again.

YOONGI:

Yoongi was working late, again, it felt as though you hardly got to see your husband anymore but you knew it was important for him to do it elsewhere. If he bought his work home with him it would only make you and your home a huge target, welcoming anyone to come and take a shot at you both.

"Fuck off," You groaned hearing someone ringing the doorbell, you rolled to lock at the clock beside your bed. It was almost three in the morning which meant the guards that usually kept watch were switching over. The only person who could have been ringing the bell was Yoongi - if he had forgotten his keys again - so you forced yourself out of bed. Wrapping yourself in a silk dressing gown and began heading down the stairs toward the front door. 

You unlocked the key and giggled to yourself, shaking your head a little as you pictured how Yoongi would be standing there.

"How could you forget..." You stopped speaking as you saw a figure standing at the front door that wasn't Yoongi, not even close to looking like Yoongi. The door was still locked with a chain and you could see from the glass panel that the man was too tall and large to be Yoongi and you stopped with your hand on the door handle. You had time to walk away like nothing at happened but the man grunted something and began roughly trying to open the door.

"Please! I'm hurt!" He pleaded as he continued to wiggle the door handle but you ignored him, bolting the door but it didn't take long for him to start throwing his weight against the door. 

"You should have let me in!" He laughed loudly as you stumbled, the chain and bolt weakening with his push the man gave to it. 

"What do you want?!" You yelled out reaching for the closest thing to you, an umbrella. You needed to talk to Yoongi about stashing weapons for you in case of emergencies. 

"We want you." The door crashed against the wall and you held up the umbrella as if you were ready to swing it. The man was smirking at you letting out a belly laugh as he saw what you were holding in your hand. 

"Oh please, you wouldn't hurt-" A shot ran out and you screamed as the man dropped to his knees in front of you. You could feel blood all over your face as you looked behind him and there was Yoongi. Staring at you with an angry look on his face.

"You let him in?!" Yoongi finally spoke to you. It had been half an hour of pure silence since he'd gotten home and that meant he was angrier than he'd ever expressed to you before.

"I thought he was you!" You defended yourself as the two of you watched a guard taking care of the body and mess that was inside of the porch way.

"You let him in the house-"

"As soon as I saw it wasn't you, I bolted the door." You tried to explain but Yoongi didn't want to hear it, how could you be so stupid to let someone you didn't know into the house.

"How could you do that? Put yourself in danger?" He was beyond pissed and you shifted on the spot, wanting nothing more than to go and shower but you knew this was going to keep going until he got an answer. 

"I didn't look before I unlocked the door." Yoongi sighed rubbing the bridge of his noise as he thought about it. If he hadn't come home when he had who knows what could have happened to you.

"Go and shower." He grumbled pointing to the stairs but you didn't move, you reached for his hand. 

"Come with me, I really don't want to be alone." You whispered as he nodded his head, slowly walking with you in the direction of your bathroom. Although he was pissed at you he wasn't going to leave you alone to overthink what had just happened. In fact, Yoongi was already planning on taking some time off to make sure you were okay.

HOSEOK:

When you first got the call you thought it was a joke and you ignored it. Deciding that if Hoseok was truly in danger you would know about it but as the day went on you began to worry. Hoseok wasn't home and you hadn't gotten a single call from him to let you know what he was doing. Usually, he always kept your up to date on what he was doing who he was with. After all, he was a large mafia leader and he knew that no matter how much he told you he would be safe you needed reassurance. So now you were trying to get the money together that they had demanded in return for Hoseok. You didn't care if you ended up bankrupting yourself in the process, you weren't going to let anything happen to your husband,

"Do you need something?" The banker teller asked as you stood in his office, sliding him a piece of paper with the amount of money you needed to withdraw from your shared account. It was only a quarter of a million, something that seemed insignificant compared to the man that you loved in danger. 

"Miss-"

"Please," You pleaded, looking at the man with large eyes, he nodded rushing off toward the vault as you paced around in his office. Head spinning with thoughts of them hurting Hoseok while you wasted time in trying to get the money together but this was the safest way to do it. You knew if you went to the bank you could slip out the back door without the guards seeing and take the money to the correct location.

"For you," The bank teller said as he held out a mobile phone, as soon as you took it he left the room.

"I'm getting you the money, please don't hurt him." You sobbed, voice cracking as you thought about what they were doing to Hoseok but you were met with a sigh. 

"Baby? What are you doing?" Hoseok's voice question, he didn't sound pained...He sounded fine, a little mad if you were honest.

"Hobi?" You whimpered, knees buckling as you sat down on a chair inside of the room, holding your hand over your chest as you finally heard his voice.

"They called to make sure the transaction was okay, are you leaving me?" He sounded panicked and you laughed weakly, curling yourself up into the chair. 

"I couldn't get hold of you...T-They told me they had you." Nothing you said made sense to Hoseok but he was already on his way to you and sighed. 

"We'll talk about this when I get there," He still sounded pissed at you but you didn't care. All you cared about was that he was there and he was alive. 

"They told me they had you and that if I didn't give them the money they wanted they'd kill you," You explained as Hoseok stared at you, doing his best not to laugh a little at the thought of it.

"You didn't ask for proof of them having me? You just assumed they were telling the truth?" You laid your head down on his shoulder realising how stupid it seemed now that you were looking back at it. 

"I just-"

"You didn't think...How many times have I told you to always think before you act?" He sighed, still mad at you but he wasn't going to take it out on you when you'd clearly had a draining day. The two of you were curled up in your master bedroom together, your head resting on his chest as he smiled down at you.

"We can talk about it more tomorrow," He whispered, rubbing your back with his hands as you nodded. 

NAMJOON:

Sometimes it was annoying to constantly have someone watching over you and you needed a break. Not all of the time but sometimes and if Namjoon didn't know it wasn't going to hurt him. Once a week - the day always changing - you would go for a walk around the River Han. Just needing to get away from your guard and from the life that Namjoon led, it wasn't as if you were the real target. Namjoon was the one that was always in danger not you. 

"Miss?" A young girl called out making you turn to see who it was that was calling you. Standing there was a young girl in a school uniform that was covered in holes, her lip was busted.

"What happened? Are you okay?!" You asked full of concern as you pulled her to the side, out of the way of anyone that would walk into the two of you.

"I was mugged...I was wondering if I could borrow your phone, to call the police." You nodded reaching deep into your handbag so you could give her the phone but her eyes darted around.

"I can call my boyfriend if you like, he works closely with the police and we could get you some help. Did you get a good-" You screamed as she shoved you aside, snatching your bag from your hands and making a run for it in the opposite direction of where she had come from.

"You okay?" A voice spoke from behind you making you tense up, you knew that voice better than anyone. Namjoon. And it was safe to say he didn't sound pleased with you. 

"Fine, she took off with my purse." You mumbled turning to look at him already holding up the bag for you to see and you rolled your eyes.

"A test? Really?" You grumbled snatching your bag away from him and shoving your phone back inside of it. Of course, it was a test, Namjoon was always trying to show you that people weren't what they seemed. 

"You have to be careful! What are you even doing out without a guard?" He snapped bitterly at you, stepping in front of you as you tried to walk away from him. This was the last thing you wanted to do right now was to have a fight out in the streets with him about it. 

"Can you be mad at me at home?" You mumbled, giving a glare to your guard who was waiting beside Namjoon's car. You had a deal together, he wouldn't tell Namjoon about your walks if you wouldn't tell Namjoon that he had another job. You were still going to hold up your end though, you weren't that petty.

"No. How could you put yourself in danger like this? What if I hadn't set that up?"

"Then it would be a girl who took my bag," You mumbled annoyed at him as you slid into the back of the car, ignoring him as he got in beside you.

"What if someone pressed a gun against your head, told you to follow them if you knew what was good for you." He mumbled, he was more worried that you thought this was okay than he was mad. If someone had happened to notice who you were there was no doubt in Namjoon's mind that you would be taken.

"I get it-"

"You don't! You just keep going out and I've had enough! You're going to have more guards than just one, you're not going to go out alone unless it's with me." He knew it sounded extreme but if it was the only way he was going to keep you safe then so be it.

"Then I won't be alone," You quipped staring at your boyfriend whose eye twitched, clearly he wasn't in the mood for any of your games so you shut up. Looking down at the floor and ignoring him as he told the driver to take you both home. 

JIMIN:

It wasn't every night that you got to go out and let your hair down so you were living up the experience as much as you could. It was your best friend's birthday and Jimin had let go out without a guard on one condition. You take some protection and you constantly make sure that you were safe, he knew you knew how to but you were drunk. Too drunk to watch out for yourself or your friends around you, 

"Here," You giggled sliding everyone their drinks as you stood at the bar, a round of shots and your usual beverages all waiting for you as you giggled. 

"This is the best birthday ever," Your friend laughed as she down her shot, sipping on her other drink as you giggled along with her. You had missed being able to go out and have a carefree time, it felt as though it had been millions of years since you'd been without a guard. 

"Yn," Your friend laughed as you practically down the pint glass of what you had been drinking, your eyes meeting hers as you smiled.

The night seemed to pass by in a blur, you'd spent most of the night feeling as though your head was stuck in a fog and you appeared to be drunker than your friends. You barely remembered getting home or how you had busted your lip. All you could remember were small gaps, there was a fight but not between you and the girls. A fistfight. You...Some random guy who was trying to hold you and Jimin. 

"Here," Jimin whispered giving you some painkillers and looking at you. He looked worried sick, he'd barely slept since getting you home the night before. After your friends called him to say something wasn't right with you he raced to you. 

Pissed that you hadn't taken his warning about protecting yourself seriously but even more pissed when he saw you standing with another man. Giggling as he tried to kiss you but that was when he saw it. You were far too drunk to think clearly and you could barely stand up. He knew from the sight alone that you had been drugged.

"You hit the guy?" You questioned as you remembered Jimin knocking someone out with his fist, he nodded holding your face in his hand. Not long after hitting the guy, he took you to the hospital, getting you tested as quickly as possible and charging the man that had drugged you.

"Did the nurse say when I would stop feeling like garbage?" You questioned laying down on the bed and looking at Jimin who couldn't stay mad at you right now. Last night he had been beyond pissed but he knew that it clearly wasn't your fault, you had been trying to have fun and someone else had ruined it. 

"It could take a couple of days, I've made sure we have a private room." He explained with a weak smile, pressing a kiss on your forehead.

TAEHYUNG:

Taehyung was already mad at you and you knew that when he found out where you were and how you'd gotten there he would be madder. He'd warned you so many times not to go out without a guard or to even go to the shady part of town but you never listened. Now you were tied up you wished you had, you would have never come down to the bad part if you could have known. 

Could have, should have, would have's were all useless now. You were tied up and men were taking it in turns to torture answers out of you, wanting to know where Taehyung was and where his home was. 

"He'll come to save her anyway," One of the men laughed as you spat blood down onto the floor beside you, staring at it as your anger boiled. You didn't care if Taehyung showed up and killed them all, usually, you weren't one for the murdering side of his life but after this, you didn't care. All of them had it coming but you couldn't let on that he would come. You needed to pretend that Taehyung didn't care about you, maybe that would slow the rate of their torture on you. 

"He doesn't love me!" You screamed out at them, a old man began smirking as he rushed over and tilted your chair back until you were one tip from smashing into the ground. 

"You're a filthy liar,"

"We got into a fight, we're working our way through a divorce," You lied but you knew exactly how to lie convincingly, stick to the lie and elaborate only when asked to.

"Why?" A voice asked from behind the man who was tilting you back. You thought back to the fight you had that morning that led you to get caught but it wasn't good enough. How were you supposed to explain your boyfriend was mad at you for ruining a white rug?

"I slept with my personal guard." You explained as your chair was slowly lowered down to the floor,

"He's so disgusted in me he probably wants you to do this to me," You giggled looking at them as they all exchanged glances with one another wondering what to do next but you didn't need to worry about it. An arrow was shot through the neck of the man in front of you, followed by gunshots ringing out around the room, the people that had been torturing you sinking to the floor. 

"That was quick thinking." Taehyung praised as he walked over to you, blade at the ready as he began cutting the ropes that were keeping you tied up to the chair. 

"Good enough to stop you being  mad at me for being someone I shouldn't have been?" You quizzed as a devilish smirk played on Taehyung's lip, looking down at you.

"No. I'm mad at you," He mumbled his eyes full of concern as he saw how badly you had been treated by the men and he shook his head. 

"I'll pause being mad and resume when you're better." He explained, wrapping an arm around your waist and helping you out of the old shipping dock house they'd been keeping you in. That was the thing about Taehyung, if he was mad at you nothing would stop him from being mad unless you were hurt or crying and then he would stop everything. Just to make sure that you were okay.

You knew that once you were healed you were in for a world of silent treatment but you were going to soak up all of the love you could get right now. 

JUNGKOOK: 

Everyone knew that you were dating Jungkook and you happened to be someone who cared for a lot of people. It was a strange thing to see, someone so sweet and kind with someone such as Jungkook. Jungkook was known for being an awful and cold-blooded killer but you knew the real him. Not the him that was coated in rumours.

"I'll call you back," You said to your friend on the phone, hanging up before she had time to protest you leaving her hanging. She had been telling you about a story of her and some dude she met that day but you were frowning.

Sitting in a dark alleyway was a pram and coming from it were the sounds of a screaming baby, whimpering and crying out for someone to take notice of it. 

"Oh, baby." You cooed, not thinking for another second as you began to make your way down into the pitch darkness of the alley. There was a single light above the pram but you couldn't help but want to try and find the parents, maybe they'd accidentally left the kid behind or worse...Didn't want the baby anymore and decided to leave it behind. Either way, you were going to make sure the baby was okay. 

"Excuse me!" You screeched as a hand gripped your wrist ripping you backwards causing you to stumble. Jungkook stood there aiming his gun at the pram,

"JUNGKOOK!" You screamed as he began to shoot the pram, the crying continued as it fell down onto the floor. You were ready to scream at him again when the crying crackled and died out, a radio rolling from the stroller and out into view. Your heart dropped as you realised what could have happened if you had gotten any closer to the stroller. 

"Where's your guard?!" Jungkook yelled at you, holding your shoulders in his hands as you stumbled over your words. You were still trying to process what had just happened with the fake baby and if someone out there was watching you. 

"Yn?!" He screamed shaking you a little as you whined,

"I-I sent him home, I was working late in the shelter and I knew he had plans." You explained, looking at Jungkook with tears in your eyes. Someone had tried to kidnap or worse, kill you.

"God, you're so dense. Why?! How many times have I told you-"

"Stop yelling at me!" You screeched at him, holding your hands over your face as you began to cry. You had never been a target before, not that you knew of that was.

"Someone tried to kill you, you just willingly went up to a trap," He grumbled pulling you in the direction of his car. It was a good thing he had been coming to meet you as a surprise otherwise who knows what would have happened. 

"I thought it was an abandoned baby," Your voice was low, ashamed that you had fallen for something that was so obviously a trap. Jungkook sighed as you got into the back of his car looking deflated in yourself,

"Babe...I'm sorry," He whispered reaching his hand out to your face and running his thumb along your bottom lip,

"I didn't mean to yell...I just-" He sighed thinking about it, 

"I don't know what I would do if something ever happened to you," He explained kneeling down on the outside of the car, looking up at you as you sniffled. You knew why he was upset with you but it still didn't give him to the right to yell at you the way that he had,

"We'll go home, get your favourite snacks and movie and we'll relax...Okay?" He suggested, lifting your hand to his lips and giving it a soft kiss as you nodded your head slowly. All you wanted to do was go home and relax, or at least try to relax after what had happened. It was safe to say you weren't going to send your guard home early ever again.

Tagline: @lyoongx​ @mitzwinchester​ @rjsmochii​ @sw33tnight​ @taestannie​ @sweeneyblue1​ @jin-from-the-block​ @agustdjoon​ @acciocriativity​ @mwitsmejk​ @taeechwitaa​ @justbangtanthingz​ @stillwithlix​ @kookiekuu​ @lolalee24​ @hopeworldd-2​ @totallynoanalien​ @yubinism​ @etherealinowrites​ @heyjiminnie​ @aerastus​ @tinyoonsblog​

[spacegoldilocks]

The Gods Demand a Queen

Bjorn Ironside x F!Reader

Summary: You're a thrall in Kattegat, under the rule of Bjorn, who desires to one day be Queen and sit on the throne. He helps you realise these dreams, in more ways than one.

Tags/Warnings: NSFW, smut, rough sex, throne sex, fingering, edging, orgasm denial, bit of choking, bit of spanking, size kink, praise, language, no use of Y/N

Word count: 8.5k

The Gods have never favoured you.

You’ve been at someone else’s will for as long as you can remember. Not all of them have been nice. It’s toughened you up, though. You’ve learnt your place and your manners. You’ve learnt when is the correct time to speak, and definitely when isn’t the correct time.

You’ve been in Kattegat, under the mercy of Bjorn Ironside, for a few months now. He’s fair. You mostly stay in the shadows and out of his way. He’s not even here most of the time, anyway. You can’t really complain about your time here, even though you dream of a different life.

You dream of sitting high on a throne somewhere. Anywhere. Not having anyone to answer to. Your own thralls and slaves to do with as you please. A thousand people who call you their Queen, who sit around you, showering you with compliments and gifts. Sacrifices in your own name. A crown upon your head and your face smeared with colours that tell everyone that you are the Queen.

Alas, dreams are dreams. And you don’t dare defy the authority that lingers over you. The fate that awaits your disobedience and failure to capture the power you so desperately crave is worse than simply maintaining your fantasy. You listen attentively to the every need of the family in charge. Most notably, Bjorn.

He’s away more often than he’s here. In those moments, the throne lays empty. Practically begging to be used. At present, no queen resides in Kattegat and you long for the feeling of the throne beneath you. It calls to you like no other.

It’s more than a feeling that tells you that you belong on the throne. You feel as though the Gods have a plan for you. They keep you waiting, so you can ready yourself for when the times comes. It is a question of when not if. The Gods demand a queen for Kattegat, you can hear them.

You say Bjorn is away more than he’s here, yet today is one of the rare times he’s here and he’s active. A room full of people and many duties to attend to. Which also means you’ve been on your feet all day. With Bjorn home and his being busy, you’ve had no end of tasks to complete and requests to indulge.

It started this morning when he and his men arrived on the shores of Kattegat. You having to draw baths and prepare a feast, wash clothing and all the while do it quickly to keep time for any other jobs that might need doing. This included waiting on their every need as they enjoyed festivities for returning safely from their travels.

And so, the throne has been occupied. The only time Bjorn left his seat was to eat with his men, and he quickly returned to it when he was finished. You’d been watching him since he returned. The way he sits, spreading across the chair. Arms thrown over the sides, legs parted, head resting against the back as he looks down at everyone else.

Despite everything you feel, there’s no denying that power suits him. He makes a good king. He is fair and strong and courageous. And he is a son of Ragnar. He speaks with a loud, commanding voice when he addresses his people, thanking them for their bravery and telling them that they live to face more battles before walking the halls of Valhalla.

You won’t lie to yourself and say he’s not attractive, you’ve thought about it before. If you weren’t a thrall and spent more time with Bjorn, you like to think that something might’ve happened between the two of you. But you really have a knack for staying in the shadows, hidden, and only coming out when absolutely necessary.

Throughout the entire evening into night you’ve stayed hidden away as much as possible, watching Bjorn in his position on the throne. Gods, he’s so big. You shake the thought from your head, feeling the pain in your shoulders from so much time racing around today. Your back is killing you. But it’s getting very late, not long and you should be able to go to bed. Not long, you tell yourself. Everyone in the hall should be getting tired too, a long day of celebrations after an even longer time travelling.

They start disappearing in small numbers. Many women leaving in the arms of men, some already married, others seeking comfort in one another just for the night. You’ve made it your business to become familiar with a lot of people around here, not just so you can be a good thrall, but just in case. In case of what, you don’t know. You just think it might be good to have a good indication of who people are, and what they do, in case you need it.

Eventually, there’s only you, a few other slave girls and a handful of men, who are outrageously drunk. They’re so loud. They shout and bang their fists and cups on the table, spilling their drinks and making an even bigger mess that will need to be cleaned up.

Bjorn looks almost fed up, scowling as he watches the men from his seat. He holds his chin, elbow propped up on the arm of the throne. “That is quite enough.” He calls.

All eyes shoot to him. The men look like they want to argue back at him, but ultimately know better than to do so.

“Finish your drinks and leave. Everyone needs their rest.” He gestures around the room, even though there are only a few men, all concentrated on the table nearest the fire. “We have a long few days ahead of us.”

They chug their drinks, not wanting to disappoint or annoy Bjorn any further. They leave one by one, as soon as they each finish drinking, bowing to him before swaggering out of the hall.

You and the other girls are expecting Bjorn to up and leave, letting you all take care of the mess in the hall. But he doesn’t.

You each look at one another from across the room, spaced out along the walls. You’re all as confused as each other, trying to look for someone, or something, to take a cue from.

One of the girls, directly across from you, begins to move. She steps forward gingerly, looking at Bjorn as she does so for any sign that he wants everyone to remain as they are. It’s incredibly tense. This has never happened before. You’re waiting for his voice to boom and echo throughout the mostly empty room, telling the girl to return to her place.

His eyes flick to her, watching as she goes to the table, picking up as many items as she can carry, before returning to stare at the ground, lost in thought and twiddling his fingers. He doesn’t seem to have a problem - you’d know if he did.

And so the rest of you follow her lead, carrying things out of sight to clean and making the hall look more presentable after being thoroughly worn out by the returning warriors.

Your whole body aches. Your back, your feet, your head. Everything. At this point, you just want to sit down. The soles of your feet are probably worn from standing, walking, rushing from one place to the next.

You take any little milestone you can get. You told yourself everyone in the hall would leave and they did. Check. Now it’s four more tables to clear, the fire to put out, the goblets and cups to leave soak. The list goes on.

You and the other girls are dotted around the hall, cleaning and collecting different things when Bjorn gets up. You all make it your duty to not look at him.

Do not make it obvious that you were waiting for him to do something.

You hear him make his way across the room, his heavy boots making the wood underneath him creak, thumping across the stone floor as he descends from the elevated throne. His footsteps stop much too early for him to have already left the room, let alone the building. It’s unbearably quiet.

You audibly gasp when you hear whispering voices - much too quiet for you to understand what they’re saying, and thankfully they’re too far away for them to have heard your embarrassing gasp. Although, you immediately recognise one of the voices as Bjorn’s. Gods, you’d love to turn around to see what he’s doing. His behaviour tonight is continually fascinating.

You try your best to keep going with your task. ‘Just clean the table’ you tell yourself. ‘Focus on that. There’s a stain, try to get it out. Pay no attention to the-‘. Now there’s two sets of footsteps. One Bjorn’s, the other one of the girls. Is she leaving?

The stain. You scrub at it, trying to ignore the way Bjorn’s footsteps stop again. Followed by more whispering. And more footsteps. What the fuck is going on?

You think another one of the girls has left too. You scrub harder at the stain, thinking that perhaps if you channel enough of your remaining energy into removing it then your brain won’t have any to think about what Bjorn may or may not be doing.

Gods, why are you so on edge? Would you be this tense if you could actually see what he was doing? Shit, is that more whispering? And it’s closer. Maybe if you stopped scrubbing the table so loudly you could just about hear…

No. The stain.

Fuck, what is happening? In the room, to the girls, to Bjorn, to you.

You can probably guess what’s happening to you - you’re tired. You’re becoming delusional from being so exhausted by today. You’ve worked hard. You’re still working hard. This damned stain. You’re working so hard to remove it, to distract yourself, you’re only now feeling the way your shoulder is pulling from the harsh movements of your arm.

The stain’s probably gone. You lift your arm up to check and, sure enough, it is. Surely, you’re done for the night now? You’re exhausted, the long hours you’ve worked today are starting to catch up with you. You want to sit down. You want your bed. You want to rest. You want the hand that’s just started rubbing circles across your back to keep doing it. Gods, you could fall asleep right here, the motions lulling you.

Fuck. You flash back to your reality, your head whipping around as Bjorn’s eyes meet yours. He looks aggressive, towering over and shrouding you against the table. His hand rests on the small of your back as he just looks down at you. Maybe its your exhaustion, or perhaps its seeing him this close up for the first time, but Gods is he gorgeous.

Well, you’ve always thought he was handsome but something about seeing the many scars on his face that you’d never had the privilege of seeing before, and the brilliant blue of his eyes somewhat dimmed in the firelight, and the coarse hairs of his beard like this snaps you awake. His smile breaks through the tough exterior he presents, making you relax just a little bit.

The next words that come out of his mouth take you by surprise more than his hand that smoothes across your back. “Have a drink with me.”

Have a drink with him? You probably look insane because you just stare at him. Completely dumbfounded. Somehow you manage to nod your head, letting him lead you away from your lovely, clean table to a slightly dirtier one. At least he appreciates your hard work.

You set yourself down on one of the benches by the fire, resting your arms on the table to try to find a comfortable position where your back doesn’t ache. Bjorn, meanwhile, crosses the room, fetching with him two cups of ale. He sits down right next you, leaving a bit of space but not much.

He looks at you quizzically as he takes a gulp of his drink, whilst you sip. “What is your name again?”

You’re not surprised he doesn’t remember, it’s been many months since you last spoke to him outside of his instructions to you. You answer him between sips of the ale. It’s not your favourite drink in the world, but you like it. And you’ll probably get a small buzz off it between your sleepiness and the lack of water you’ve drank today.

“Hm,” he hums. “That was it. You have been here for several months now, no?”

You can’t help but wonder why he’s sat with you, asking you questions about yourself. Is he expecting you to ask questions back in return? You don’t think there’s a thing you don’t know about him. He is the king, after all.

You nod. “And what do you think of Kattegat?” He swigs from his cup, eyes staying on your face as you carefully consider his question.

You have nothing negative to say about the place, but you still try to choose your words carefully in case you say the wrong thing. “I think it is lovely here.”

He stays silent, willing you to keep talking.

“The people are nice, the food is good. And it is a beautiful place. There is much to see and do.” You elaborate.

He smiles under his beard, nodding in approval at your answer. You sip some more, waiting for another of his questions. He gets up to refill his cup, having finished it rather quickly. He checks yours, seeing it still mostly full, and walks across the room.

Just when he’s about to sit back down, he asks you another question. “And what do you think of the King?”

Your heart starts hammering against your chest - what sort of question is that? Moreover, what the fuck does he expect you to answer if not praise? You see his kind smile has turned into a devilish smirk when you look at him. Are you imaging it or has he sat ever-so-slightly closer to you?

You straighten yourself up, ignoring the painful tugging of your shoulders. “Well,” you begin. “I think that he is just, and fair. And that he makes a good leader.”

The smug look on his face stays, not bearing to stay silent long enough for you to make the decision to keep talking on your own. No, instead he insists you keep feeding his ego as soon as you take the smallest break in talking. “Go on.”

This time it’s you who smirks at him. “I know he is a fierce warrior. And I think that he looks rather good on the throne.” You mean the last remark in that the symbol of authority suits him. But, if he decides to take it … another way, then that’s up to him. Either way, you don’t mind what he interprets the comment to mean.

He looks away from you, chuckling, but giving nothing away. It makes you laugh a little bit too, any tension from earlier having melted away with your easy interactions.

It doesn’t last, not for you at least.

“Tell me, have you ever thought about what it would be like to be Queen?”

With one single sentence, you feel as if he can see right through you, right into you. Fucking of course you have, but how should he know? How can, in one sentence, he be able to floor you like he this, to ask you a question so unintentionally personal? One that pulls something deep within you, something you’ve never voiced to anyone and suddenly now it’s being unearthed by the one person who you should never have to confess it to. Not that you necessarily need to confess the degree to which you have thought about it, but even the insinuation that you have is enough for you to begin flustering, muddling any answer that comes into your head into an unintelligible mess that you can’t verbalise.

You’re quiet for much, much too long. You need to say something. “I’m sorry?” You settle for pretending not to understand.

But it’s no use. The damage caused by you silence is done. His jaw rocks to the side, clenched so hard his jaw bone juts outs under his beard. “So you have.”

Your drink lays forgotten, only serving as a distraction for your anxious hands as you fidget with the rim of the cup. You avoid his gaze, unsure how to act. Then again, surely everyone has dreamt about being king or queen? Maybe not to the degree you have, but doesn’t everyone strive for power? You hold your head up a little bit, feeling slightly reassured by your own line of thinking.

You keep your eyes trained forward, though. He tips his head to look at your face and you can just feel the way he’s smirking at you. He’s left you looking so stupid, stewing in your own thoughts.

“Come with me.” Is all he says as he swings his legs over the bench to stand up. When you look up he’s waiting, hand held out for you to take.

You get up, smoothing your dress out and taking his hand. He guides you out to stand with him on the other side of the bench and leads you towards the very far end of the long room. Towards the throne.

Your eyes flick from him, to the throne, to him again - back and forth as you walk the length of the room.

He stops at the chair and you stop with him, still with your hand in his. Is he doing this as a display to taunt you? Show you up close what you can never have? It’s fucking cruel if he is.

You wait for him to do something so you can take a cue from it. You look up at him and he simply motions with his hand to the throne. You frown, waiting for more information from him. “Sit.” He says.

Sit? On the throne? On his throne? Gods, is this some sort of test? Is he giving you a taste, a mere crumb, of how it might feel to actually have power? Or is he just pushing you to see how far you’re willing to go to obey him? It’s his throne, it belongs to him. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone else use it - not even while he’s away, far gone on a raid somewhere.

He drops your hand, using his own to push gently on your shoulders. He spins you around, pulling you down to sit on the throne as he stands behind you.

The room looks huge from this position. Slightly elevated above everyone else and able to see everything and, should the room be full, everyone. It’s comfortable too, and big. You expected as much, Bjorn doesn’t even fully fill the chair and he’s the biggest, broadest man you think you’ve ever seen.

He lowers himself to your ear behind you. “How does it feel?”

‘Correct’, is what you want to say. “Good.” Is what you settle for.

He straightens back up, placing his hands on your shoulders. He’s so big, and he’s putting far too much weight on your already sore shoulders, causing you to wince. “Are you alright?” He asks, alleviating some of the pressure.

“‘M fine, my back hurts is all.” You try to make it not seem as bad as it is, but truthfully you’re in pain.

“Let me help.”

“N-no, it is fine, really.” You lean forward to get up from the throne just as he starts using his thumbs to dig right into a tight spot in the middle of your shoulder blades. You let out a groan at how good it feels, closing your eyes and slumping your head against the back of the chair. Any desire to get up leaves you as Bjorn works the muscles at the back of your neck.

“Tell me if it is too hard.” The calloused pads of his fingers trace firmly across the tops of your shoulders, barely grazing your collar bones as his thumbs work into the top of your back.

It’s a power trip. You sitting on his throne whilst he massages the knots out of your back and shoulders. It’s getting you high, and you open your eyes to look out across the room. You imagine how it would look full of people. Like it was earlier tonight. Packed full with people there to see you. You'd kill for it.

Gods, his hands feel so fucking good and they spread across your shoulders so big. Your eyes flutter back closed, wanting to enjoy his touch without much other sensory experience.

You’re reluctant to acknowledge the fact that it’s turning you on, too. The pain of him rubbing away the aches mixes with just how amazing his warm hands feel against your bare skin. It makes you moan, forgetting where you are as you revel in his hands taking the pain away from you, leaving only traces of his touch behind.

He focuses on your arms now, the clusters of dull ache now gone from your back. His palms work down your biceps, squeezing your soft flesh over your clothes and coming back up to massage your shoulders. His fingers spread out over your chest, rubbing the skin there. You hum under his touch, which he can probably feel reverberating on your chest under his fingertips.

You didn’t tell him your chest hurt, but he spends time concentrating on manipulating your flesh there anyway. His fingers dig into the bones, coming up momentarily to wrap his thick fingers around your neck, squeezing before dipping back down. He repeats this a few times, making you whimper every time he does.

“Is this good?” He whispers from behind you.

You moan out a small ‘yes’, letting him continue with his handy work. His splayed hands come further down your chest, beginning to dip below the necklace of your dress. Your heart beats faster and fuck, you’re wet. You’re trying not to let it get to you but in this moment, you’d let him do anything to you, you realise.

You furrow your brows, trying to push it to the back of your mind, but his hands keep working further and further down, in tiny increments. You swear he’s going to reach your breasts any moment. But he doesn’t. It feels like he’s teasing you. In fact, he goes anywhere besides them. He massages the skin directly above them, kneading into it with the heel of his palm. Then, he dips his fingertips deep into the neckline of your dress, drawing a long, hard line through the middle of your chest, dragging between your breasts. He starts near the bottom of your sternum, feeling the rapid beat of your heart as you try not to think about the warmth pooling between your legs.

You don’t see the way his jaw clenches as he realises how rousing you’re finding this, being groped and touched by him. He told himself he wasn’t going to take it any further, but he can’t help himself. Not when you respond to his touch like this. All the little moans you’ve been making, and the way your heart thrums against your chest. He wants more from you. He wants to hear and feel more of you. Fuck it, he thinks.

He touch leaves you, and you feel yourself come down slightly from a high you didn’t even realise was so severe until it cuts short. You open your eyes to see him walking around to the front of the throne again. He extends his hand to you, much like he did earlier, and you know its your signal to get up from the throne.

You take it, feeling no pain whatsoever in your back, nor shoulders, when you hurl yourself from the comfort of the chair.

He surveys you, using his free hand to cup your cheek. His touch is intoxicating. You don’t know what it is, but the way his hands feel on your skin makes you chase the warmth of him, needing more than the short strokes he gives you. You lean your head into his palm, only slightly but enough to indicate your interest to him.

He’s trying so hard not to give into the part of his brain that tells him to kiss you and to touch you even more. But he hasn’t done well at fighting it up until now. And, unless he’s deluded, you want this too.

Your chest rises and falls, waiting for him to do something. It’s not your place to. His hand stays holding your cheek. It’s so fucking big. It’s big enough for his palm to cover your entire cheek. Gods, his hands were big enough to almost spread out across your chest. His long, thick fingers working at the base of your neck and down past your breasts. Your mind drifts as you stare at him, thinking about how they might feel somewhere else.

His hand drops from your cheek. You think he’s going to walk away and leave you desperate for his touch again. Instead, he sits back down on his throne, looking up at you as he settles against the back of it casually.

Fucking Gods, if he keeps looking at you like that you’re going to jump on him. It’s him that made you feel like this anyway. You were perfectly content to go to bed after finishing cleaning, but no. He had to ask if you wanted a drink with him, and ask you questions, and fucking massage you as you sat on his throne.

He keeps looking at you, considering what to do next. All he knows is he wants you out of your dirty, worn clothes. He flicks his hand up and down, gesturing at them. “Take it off.” He tells you.

Finally, you think, trying not to be too eager in removing your garments.

You start with your shirt, unhooking the top few buttons to allow you to slip the long sleeves down your arms. You let the sleeves fall and the rest of the garment goes with it, left in a heap at your feet. You’re completely revealed for him, your body glowing from the light of the fire behind you.

His cock twitches in his trousers upon seeing you bare before him. He’s trying not to be too obvious, trying to be patient in looking at your body, but he’s greedy. His eyes roam over you, drinking in every inch of your exposed skin that he can see.

You look down at the slight tent in his trousers, smirking at him. He returns it, curling his finger at you to beckon you forward. You’re much too far away, he wants to let his hands explore you. Much further than they already did.

You walk to him, meeting his hands as they come up to hold your tits. Those big fucking hands that trace under the swell of your breast. That grope at your flesh, and his thumbs that brush over your nipples, hard in the cool night air that makes its way into the hall.

He alternates between pinching your nipples, pulling them so hard it almost hurts, and soothing them again by gently rubbing over them.

Everything about this feels so dirty. Displaying yourself to Bjorn. The literal king. Offering yourself to him naked like this whilst he sits completely clothed on his throne. You know you’re probably not the first thrall he’s done this with, but it’s a first for you. And you actually like it. It’s a thrill. Whimpering at every roll of his fingertips over your nipples.

You ache for his touch somewhere else, trying to subtly squeeze your thighs together to relieve some of the ache. He doesn’t seem to be in any sort of hurry, taking his time to study every detail and flaw in your skin. It could be ages before he touches you elsewhere - if he decides to touch you elsewhere.

He pinches you again, but you’re so sensitive from his hands that you yelp, chest jumping under his touch. He looks up at you, looking at your face for the first time since you removed your clothes as he leans forward, enveloping your breast in his mouth. His tongue is hot but does wonders to soothe the slight stinging. He maintains eye contact as he swirls gentle circles around your nipple, leave a small bite before he moves to work on your other one. His beard scratches at your skin as he moves his mouth, melting in with the pleasure he's already giving you.

You snake your arm around his head, holding him to you as you watch him in awe. He’s an expert with his tongue, flicking and drawing patterns over the peaks. He moves on from focusing all of his attention on them though, sucking sloppy wet kisses into the bouncy flesh on your tits. He travels the kisses across your chest, leaving you glistening with his saliva. He goes down, grabbing at your hips as he traces his tongue down the centre of your breasts to just above your navel.

You want him to go further, resisting the want to buck your hips towards him to will him to go on. He draws his head back, his hands still resting on your hips.

He shifts his gaze down, watching his own movements as his fingers move across your lower abdomen, combing through the curls that lead him down.

“Is this okay?” He asks.

You nod. Gods, it’s more than okay. You’ve been waiting for him to touch you for the last … how long? You’ve lost all sense of time. All you know is you’re needy for him.

His tips of his fingers travel further, stilling as they reach the beginning of your slit. He lifts his head, studying how your face contorts in pleasure as he moves his fingers again, pressing one of them against your clit.

He pushes his finger down further towards your entrance, feeling how wet you are there. He smiles at this, satisfied knowing how turned on you are for him. He drags his finger back through, now wet with your slick, using it to draw an irritatingly weak circle around your clit. You try to push your hips further forward for more pressure, but the hand that remains on your hip prevents you from doing so.

Your breath staccatos as he pays not nearly enough attention to your throbbing clit. You moan at the loss of contact when he removes his hand from your cunt altogether, spinning you around so your back, and ass, face him. He almost pushes you over as he grabs handfuls of your behind, spreading your cheeks apart to really get a good look at you.

All you need is just a little push, a minute or so of strong, steady work on your pussy to send you over the edge. He’s intent on making you wait though. It’s cruel, you think. He knows what he’s doing to you - he’s fucking felt it. It’s sadistic. Making you wait. Teasing you.

He kneads your ass, his thumbs dipping into the space between your cheeks, so close to where you need him but never quite reaching there. It’s torturous. You know if you push your rear out against him, it’ll probably result in a longer wait before he properly pays you the attention you desperately crave. And so you stay just as you are, letting him manipulate your flesh as he so pleases. You can wait, you tell yourself.

Suddenly, he takes one of his hands away, using it to place a hard smack against your ass. You cry out as you feel heat rising where he’s slapping you. It stings and you’re surprised you like it. He watches your body shake, eagerly awaiting more. You clench around nothing as he lands another one. And another. He huffs a laugh, seeing how your body jolts at every strike, continuing to land a few more as he pleases.

He seems satisfied with his work on your behind, raising his hands to your hips once again. He places a soft kiss on your burning skin and then you’re being hurled backwards, landing on his lap.

He immediately starts attacking your neck with tongue and teeth, hands roaming around your stomach to pull you into a comfortable position on him. He then uses them to pull your legs over both of his, spreading them to give himself access to your body.

And he makes sure he makes the most of it. He grabs your tits, letting your head roll onto his shoulder as he continues his assault on your neck. You feel your skin going tender as he sucks harsh spots against the delicate flesh there. You feel the irritation there as his rough beard scratches your skin, with the potential to leave your skin marred.

“Do you want me to touch you?” He whispers between sloppy kisses.

“Gods, please.” You moan in response.

“Where?” He grabs your hand, placing it over his and pressing firmly, letting you guide him wherever you want him. You take his hand down, letting it hover over your trembling cunt. He nips at your jaw. “I thought so.”

He repeats his motion from earlier, pressing a single finger against your clit, but instead of only dipping down to your entrance, he opts to slide an entire finger into you down to his knuckle. Your back tries to arch away from him, but he keeps you locked down against his chest with his spare arm.

He pumps the finger in and out of you, making the most obscene squelching sound from the warm wetness he uses to ease the movements of his digit. Your arms lay useless at the side of you, letting him do all the work to pleasure you.

He adds another finger, scissoring the two of them inside you, stretching you open as he brings his thumb down onto your clit. To go from one lone finger to this makes you cry out, hips spasming from the shock. You can’t help moaning with how he works your pussy, curling his fingers to hit a spot deep inside you that makes you feel dizzy.

“If you keep being so loud people are going to hear you.” He warns.

“Maybe I would like that.” You retort, bucking your hips as far as you can with him restricting your body’s movements.

You feel his cock twitch against you as he snarls into your ear. “Such a filthy girl.” One of his hands begins snaking its way towards your throat, grabbing at it harshly to cut off any noise that tries to escape your mouth. “But as much as I like hearing your pretty sounds, I need you to be quiet.”

The moans get trapped in your throat, and you can’t warn him of your oncoming orgasm. It starts creeping up on you, burning low in the pit of your stomach as his hands work to push you further and further. You hit at the hand on your neck, trying to get him to let you go.

He loosens his grip but the fingers inside you work faster to make you cum. “What is the matter?”

“Close.” Is all you say, the oxygen able to reach your brain again momentarily before he constricts around your neck again.

He nods into your shoulder, kissing you there as he pumps, nudging your clit with his thumb as he does so. The way you make the smallest noises that he feels trying to escape beneath his fingers makes him groan. You’re making him so fucking hard. Your pussy clamps down around his fingers, preparing for your climax when he slows his movements down entirely, sending you spinning away from coming. He removes his fingers from you, bringing them to trace small wet circles around your nipples, as his other hand eases its grip on your throat.

It takes you completely by surprise, only seconds away from finishing when he rips it all away from you. You’re breathless, asking him why he stopped. “I didn't cum.” You tell him.

“No, I know.” He laughs the deepest, filthiest laugh you think you’ve ever heard in your ear. “You’re not coming yet. I want you wetter before I make you cum on my cock.”

The words hit deep inside you, making you clench on instinct. So this is what he wants to do? Prepare you to take him. Or maybe he just likes seeing you squirm and fidget on his lap, completely in control of your body.

Either way, it’s doing wonders to keep you wanting him.

He slowly drops his hand back down, bringing the same two fingers into your warm heat. He leaves your clit alone, focusing all his attention on dragging the rough pads of his fingers against the sweet spot inside you. He curls them, hitting just where you need him to every single time. It’s bliss and before long your walls start fluttering, a sign of your peak.

He feels it. He feels how your pussy starts spasming around his fingers, clenching the very tips of them as he pushes them so fucking deep into you. He loves this. Getting to push you further and further. He wants you begging for him to let you cum. Begging for him to fuck you and let you cum all over him. He wonders how many times he can edge you before he gives in to your sweet little cries and pleading eyes.

Both of you knew it wouldn’t take long for your high to burn back up as quickly as it diminished. It makes you crazed, letting your loud moans fill the hall with nothing around your neck to stop them getting out. He works faster, now knowing how you respond to being so close, pushing his fingers into your opening and using his other hand to absentmindedly play with your tits.

He knows now how to work you up unbearably quick and strip it all away before you're pushed too far - and it’s exactly what he does. As you're sent hurtling forwards towards your high once again, he takes away his fingers, leaving you edged again.

You slump back against him and let your head rest on his shoulder, already exhausted from the whiplash of pleasure and it being stripped away before it’s able to consume you.

He rolls your head towards him, pressing his lips against your forehead. “You’re doing so well.” He praises. He rubs your thighs, waiting for the right time to start playing with your cunt again. It’s surprisingly soothing.

He waits for your breath to become steady and for your body to cool down. You’re worked up beyond belief

Your body’s covered in a cold sweat, worn out from all the edging he’s putting you through. You don’t even know how much more of this you can take. How much more you can tolerate before you take matters into your own hands, giving yourself your own release. It sounds good, but truthfully? Waiting it out for the prospect of being fucked by him? Gods, it sounds a thousand times better. You can’t see it but you can just feel how big he is, his cock pressing hard into your back. You want to feel it stretching you, filling you in a way his fingers fail to achieve.

He decides you must be ready, because he takes two fingers to rub against your clit. Your hips buck up, the nerves in your clit overworked and yet desperate to chase any contact to give them release. Your moans come out frantically, whimpering in your slumped position lying against him as his hot breath fans over your face.

His fingers work around your bud with ease, using the excessive slick you’re producing to slip through your folds. He loves this, watching how your body looks, so worked up. You’re shining with sweat, an icy sheen over your entire body, coating your chest, your legs. Beautiful.

You’re so sensitive and you haven’t even cum. You writhe in his lap, waiting for the moment you feel yourself about to peak and trying to prepare for the eventual fall away from it. You know it’s going to happen. He told you he wants to fuck you through your orgasm, so you know you’re about to be denied three times in a row.

You feel it, again. Your clit becoming more and more needy as his fingertips swirl around it. Your back starts to arch, preparing for a climax that’s not going to happen. You push his hand away on instinct, already accustomed to being denied your high. The quick movement of your hand takes you both by surprise.

You keep a firm grip as your fingers lock around his hand, keeping it held hovered above your pussy. Your eyes flutter closed. You know you can’t take another round of this … whatever it is. Fucking torture.

“You learn fast.” He remarks, watching your chest rise and fall rapidly, your orgasm slipping away from you for the third time.

“Please, let me cum.” You plead with him.

“Here, get up.” He helps you to your feet as you stand on weak, shaking legs.

You get up, feeling just how wet you are at the apex of your thighs as they press together for the first time since he pulled you onto his lap. They move together, sticky, as you pad around to face him.

He’s spread out across the chair, just as he was earlier when you saw him. The only difference is the huge bulge in his trousers, and the wet spot - evidence of the messiness between your legs.

He dips his hand below the loose waistband of his trousers, pumping himself without you being able to fully see. With his other hand he pulls you by your hips onto his lap, facing him this time. You place your knees in the free space left on the throne on either side of his legs. You reach your hand to meet his in his trousers and feel how big he is for yourself.

Your hand can barely wrap around his girth. You give him a hard tug, making him grunt. It’s like music to your ears. Finally getting to hear the noises he makes, instead of him pulling the sounds out of you as he denies you. He twitches in your hand as you free him from the confines of his trousers.

And if you couldn’t feel it in your hand, you fucking see it. He’s huge. You bite your lip, anticipating the difficulty you’re going to have letting him fuck you. You don’t think you’ve ever seen anyone this big before, let alone let them inside you.

You look up at him, seeing how smug he looks knowing you’re gobsmacked. He knows he’s impressive. Just knows you’ve never seen a cock that big. He probably knows you’re going to find it hard to take, too.

So you’re determined to take it. And you’re so fucking ready to cum. You need it.

You rise up on your knees, lining him up with your entrance. You're wet enough, but even the nudge of his head against your opening makes your mouth fall open. He pulses in your hand as you stay there, trying to let your cunt adjust to the intrusion.

The way he stretches your tight hole makes it sting. But you can’t help but think it feels fucking amazing - he fills you so well as you sink down onto him. A different kind of pain and pleasure mixture than when his big, warm hands were caressing your shoulders and chest, earlier. It’s not warm and soft like that, it’s blazing hot and fiery, perfect around him as he throbs.

Your hands find their way back onto his chest, confident that he won’t slip out of you by accident. You move up and down on just the top half of his length, taking yourself further down with every jolt of your hips.

The hands on your hips still you as you move down on him. “Do you want me deeper?” He pushes his hips up, nudging his cock further into you by a mere fraction. “Tell me, is that what you want? You need me to fill you?”

Fucking of course it’s what you want, you want to feel him all the way inside you. You want to be able to feel him when you walk tomorrow. You’re just nervous at having to take all of him. “Yes, just go slow.”

He stays holding your hips, lifting his hips up to push into you. He loves watching it. Loves how it feels. How your tight heat clenches around him as he pushes into you. He takes it slow, like you asked, gently lowering you back onto him a little as he watches himself move inside you. You’re almost there and he thrusts the rest of the way into you, burying himself to the hilt.

You mewl, completely filled by him now. You roll your hips against him, feeling every time his head moves against your walls and nudges against your cervix.

“F-Fuck. Bjorn -“ you begin.

He feels your thighs clenching on either side of him, a sign that you’re about to cum. “Do it.” He says. “Cum for me.”

The relief washes over you just as your orgasm does. Your body jolts forward, unable to hold yourself up anymore. You cum hard. So hard. He feels his cock get flooded with more of your arousal as you squeeze him with the flexing muscles in your cunt. Your eyes roll back as you hold yourself against him for security, clutching onto him hoping to ground yourself against something.

He keeps moving his hips against your writhing ones, dragging his cock inside you. It makes you scream. The sound gets muffled against his clothed chest as you crumple into a spent heap on him.

You feel more than hear the guttural moans that escape Bjorn as he feels you coming undone so hard on his lap. The sounds reverberate in his chest underneath you and he holds you close to him. You nuzzle into his chest, letting him take over the movement to chase his peak now that you’ve reached yours.

He meets virtually no resistance from your cunt now, easing in and out with your slick and the slackness that came with your orgasm. He thrusts a few times before starting to hammer into you with zero remorse.

You try to thrash out, but he’s holding you so tight against his chest that there’s nowhere for you to go.

“You didn’t think I was only going to let you cum once, did you?” He growls into your ear. “You worked so hard, you deserve one more.”

Your arms are trapped under the weight of your upper body, all of which is held flush against him as his arms wrap around you. He holds you in place as he brutally fucks up into you, his skin slapping against yours and making the filthiest smacking noises that echo around the empty room.

You relax against him, feeling every inch he buries into you and letting yourself be carried away by the euphoric way he’s making you feel. You swear, no one’s ever made you feel like this.

He notices the way you go slightly limp against him, using the opportunity to keep one arm around you and wedging the other between the two of you. There’s just enough room for him to reach his middle finger up to stroke over your clit in perfect time with his thrusts.

There’s no sound that escapes your mouth when you open it to cry out. Only a hoarse, throaty moan that gets caught somewhere. Tears form at the corners of your eyes as you feel another peak approaching. It’s debilitating. Your cunt's been teased so many times and then allowed to cum, it’s as if it doesn’t know how to deal with the oncoming climax. You clench, drawing higher and higher and higher, waiting to be dropped down to your pleasure.

When you cum, it’s even more brutal than the time before. He has no consideration for your spasming body as his pace never falters, only becoming even easier for him to fuck you now with two orgasms worth of your cum to guide him.

You cry his name out, begging him to cum soon. You don’t know how much more of his savage, relentless thrusts you can take.

“P-perfect. So good.” He replies, losing himself in chasing his high. He can feel himself getting closer. And the way your pussy gets so wet and how you clench so hard around him. Gods, he’s surprised he didn’t cum with you. He has always prided himself on his ability to last, though. “W-won’t - fuck - won’t be long. Want to cum in this cunt.”

Fucking please, you think. You want to feel him fill you in the only way he hasn’t yet.

His movements begin to falter ever-so-slightly, so you know he means it when he says he’s close. He tries to get a few more good, deep thrusts into you before he cums. He lasts for maybe five or six more.

Everything about him is big and excessive. Big hands, broad shoulders, big cock. And even his fucking load is huge. He pushes into you as he spurts his cum, feeling it drip down his cock and drilling it back into you as he tries to keep fucking you while he cums.

He sounds so good moaning in your ear, louder than he’s been moaning this entire time. The noises he makes are gorgeous - low, husky groans right next to you.

He drops his hips down, but even still half his length is still buried inside you. You feel his cum leak out of you, probably mixed with some of your own wetness. And he, in turn, feels it run down his cock, dripping down onto his balls.

You’re both left breathless and completely exhausted. He rests on the chair, one of his arms still haphazardly thrown around you, the other hanging over the arm of the throne. You lie on top of him, still curling your upper body to huddle into the warmth of his chest.

He clears his throat. “I must confess something." He begins. You lift your head up slightly to look at him. The sweat gleams on his forehead, dripping down from his temples. "I have heard the demands of the Gods. And they demand a queen for Kattegat.”

Your eyes go wide, not that he can see.

“So,” he sweeps the hand on your back upwards, coming to hold your face as he asks you one final question. “How would you like to be Queen?”

[rrickgrrimes8]

hi! i was thinking if you could write an imagine of reader being rick and lori's daughter and sister to carl, rj and judith. i don't have a specific idea in mind, but just her before and after the time jump, struggling with being there when lori and carl died, and looking for rick with daryl, her relationship with her siblings and michonne, maybe maggie and hershel too (i was thinking since carl was 10 when it all started, she was 7 so now she's 17) thank you so much, and btw i loved your imagines i've read so far 💞

Being a Grimes ~ Rick Grimes x Grimes!reader

thank you so much for requesting i really enjoyed making this one. i also have a series kinda like this about Jacey Grimes which i’m currently making a book two for.

warnings: alluding to sexual assault or rape, suicide, death, gore (lemme know if i’ve missed anything off here)

sorry if there is any mistakes please tell if there is and give me feedback i’d love to here back from yall

masterlist

request guidelines

request are open

It was strange for y/n. This world would be strange for anyone really. But she was different. At only a mere 7 years old when the world went to shit she struggled as did many others. With the recent loss of her father - one she didn't entirely understand - still protruding through her heart, it was hard - so hard. 

When it happened she was at daycare. The teaching assistant tried and successfully ate the teacher in front of her. She was next and was so close to being eaten until Shane rushed in. He kicked Ms Twune and grabbed y/n. Her mom sobbed at the sight of her, covered in blood and the tears smothering her daughters face. Carl was shocked too. He wanted nothing more than to protect his little sister. His dad always used to tell him that that was his duty - his job. And he hated how he had failed in this moment. 

They made it to the quarry soon after. Y/n thought the group was nice - well mostly. The Dixon brothers scared her was what she told her brother or any of the children she had befriended. But she was lying. Yes, she was scared but only of Merle. He was creepy and mean to anyone he saw. Daryl was somewhat the same but he always found himself being nicer to the young child. And often kept her company when Lori and Shane went for a ‘walk’ in the woods. Glenn was another she found herself drawn to. He unlike Daryl happily invited her company. Glenn was sweet and funny. He never failed at making her laugh till she felt like she was going to pee. They were good friends which came to a fault when he had to go on runs. She’d scream and cry and refuse to let go of him because she was afraid that what happened to her father would happen to him. 

That’s what happened earlier that morning. Glenn and a few others were going into Atlanta, despite her dismay. Glenn assured her he’d be fine, which she didn't believe and continued her tantrum. 

“Can yer’ shut that damn baby up?” Merle spat covering his ears. 

Shane shot him a threatening glare while Glenn stayed preoccupied with the distraught girl. “Hey, it's okay. I’m coming back,” He insisted holding her tightly at his hip, “I promise you, sweet girl.” 

“No, b-b-but dada promise too a-a-and h-he,” She stopped herself, sobs erupting from her small body. 

“I know sweet girl, I know. But I’ll be back I know I will.” Glenn placed her on the back of the RV, “I tell you what I’ll bring you back some of your favourite sweeties, huh? Would you like that?” 

Giddily she nodded at his proposition, “Yes! Yes!” 

“Alright, then I’ll bring back some for you, okay?” She nodded smiling cheerfully, “I love you, kid.” 

“I luv you too, dumbass,” y/n giggled. 

Glenn looked around cautiously hoping no one heard that “Hey sweet girl you can't say that.” 

“W-what? Why?” the child began to cry again, “Y-y-you say it.” 

“I know b-but its adult words okay? Not y/n words. When you're older, alright?” She nodded her head again kissing his cheeks softly and hugging him. “Thank you, sweet girl. I’ll see you soon,” He kissed the top of her head and started towards the car smiling as she shouted, “With sweeties!”

The group returned hours later bearing a new man instead of Merle. Y/n waited patiently for Glenn and the aforementioned sweets. "Gen!" She screamed happily still unable to say his name fully. The man sprinted over to her, pulling her into a much-needed cuddle after the day he had. 

"It's Glenn, sweetheart," He chuckled while correcting. 

"Oh sorry Gen," She wrapped her dainty arms around his neck. 

"That's okay, sweet girl. I missed you." 

"I missed you too," She whispered before letting out a longwinded 'ew', "You stinky, Gen." 

The man smelt his shirt and nodded as the potent smell of walkers reached his nose. "I know yucky right?" 

"Yucky!" Y/n buried her face in Glenn's shirt ignoring the stench and just enjoying his company. She always became clingy like this after coming home from a run. He loved it. On runs, if he ever encountered a life-threatening situation - like the one today - he always finds himself realising how much she means to him. Glenn saw her as a little sister - one almost replacing the ones that were cruely ripped from him when this began. 

"How was it?" She inquired. 

"Not fun, sweet girl. But I got your sweeties and a nice man helped us out. Saved us," She beamed. 

"I like the good man. I'll give him two kisses when I see him. Maybe even one of my sweeties," Glenn chuckled. 

"Why two kisses, y/n?" 

"One for saving you. Two for bringing you hom," Glenn grinned contently and kissed her forehead. 

"Its home bubs with an e on the end." 

"Oh," She mumbled burying herself again. 

"Oh my God," Someone muttered as they exited the van. 

"Dad! Dad!" Carl screamed causing Glenn to snap his head in their direction. Carl came running towards the man, Rick, who had saved them in Atlanta. Y/n hadn't moved yet as she feared it was only a dream. That her dada wasn't really here. 

"Sweet girl," He pulled her out of his neck, "Look it's your dad." The child gazed over to where her brother had run to. Sure enough, it was her dad. He held Carl as he cried, looking to Y/n wanting to hold her too. 

"Dada!" She screamed jumping out of Glenn's arms dangerously. The girl scraped her knee on the way down but continued throwing herself into the hug. 

"Oh, Carl! Y/n!" She kissed all over his face childishly, "I luv you, dada." 

"I love you too, baby girl."

~

The years hadn't been kind to Y/n. She lost so much. Too much in fact that it had driven her to the depts of insanity and made her do things to herself, to others that she more than resented. The first loss was her mothers. She wasn't there like Carl was but the grief burned through her still. Y/n was too young to understand it really. Just how she was when Rick supposedly died. Y/n couldn't understand where her mom had gone she just knew she had a little sister now. One she swore to protect. 

She thought she had failed that when the prison fell. The young child was on her own. Injured and lost. She wandered through the woods for days until she stumbled across a group. The group were mean and despite her resistance wouldn't let her go. They hurt her in ways she didn't and wouldn't speak of it even now. But that all changed when Daryl showed up. He protected her - stopped them from hurting her. And eventually led her back to her family. Where for the first time she began to fear her father. 

Terminus was next. The people there snatched her from her family. She was forced to watch from afar as they were guided into the crate. Rick fought against them, Carl too but it was to no use. They had sectioned her off in a playroom. Every once in a while an older woman came in to fed and played with her. She hated it. Being in this world for more than a year now she knew that people like them didn't just want to play even if she did. She learnt that from the Claimers. 

Carol found her. Although having never have been all that close to the older woman - the only relation being the closeness between y/n and Sophia - seeing her after so long made her cry out of joy. Carol was happy too as she rushed out of that place to take her to safety. The pair ended up in the woods. Carol had stopped a moment ago to clean the dirt from her face, "lemme help." 

The girl sat up from where she was put down and cupped some water splashing it on Carol's face. Carol flinched as the water hit her, "Uh thank you." 

"Welcome," She looked away getting distracted by the nearing sound of footsteps. 

"Get behind me, y/n," Carol ordered to which she shook her head. 

"No it dada," She ran away from the woman and towards the group. 

"Y/n come back here!" Y/n continued ignoring Carols pleas and crashed herself into the back of Rick's legs. 

The father shot around and began to cry as he saw the child he thought he lost at his feet. "Oh, baby!" He collected the girl in his arms. Carl rushed to them too happy to see her alive after Gareth claimed he killed her. "Oh y/n, never leave me again, okay?" He looked directly into her matching blue eyes, "Promise me." 

"I promise, dada." 

Later Carol led them to Judith. Y/n was over the moon and refused to let her out of her sight, which was exactly what Rick was doing too. They found the church a while after. There they had some semblance of peace. She was glad to have Glenn back - Maggie too. Along with the new people although Eugene was a bit weird. 

At the church was also when the questions started. Daryl had told Rick about the group they were with and regretfully had to inform the father how she was there before him. Rick asked y/n - begged her - to tell her what happened. But she refused. She couldn't say what happened. What they did, which just made Rick fear more. Eventually, she spoke a little about it. She was vague and could barely string two words together without crying. He hated it. He hated how this was a reality for his daughter. He saw the bruises they left. And he couldn't understand how someone could touch his child. Or how he could be so powerless to stop it. 

Bob died. She didn't really know the man but it still upset her. Beth too. Although she was a lot closer to her. Beth was one of her only friends and was someone who would look after her when her father couldn't. They bonded and now she was gone. 

After Beth's demise, they spent lots of time on the road. They suffered, almost died countless times but they prevailed. They got stronger - she got stronger. And they eventually found Alexandria. There everything was good again like how it was at the prison or even before this hell. She liked it there and didn't understand why the others were so sceptical. 

Though that didn't last for long. Y/n began to hate the place when Carl got shot. Alexandria almost stole her brother from her. So she despised it. She refused to leave her brother's side as he adjusted to his injury. Yes, he found it annoying how she wouldn't leave him be and he often snapped at her. But she was there when he needed her. Despite the age difference and the many years of memories they had lost to this fight, she understood his pain. When he saw himself as ugly, a monster even, she made him think otherwise. She kept him afloat, which he was eternally thankful for. 

Glenn was next. 

She didn't believe it even after she was forced to see it with her own two eyes. She was next to Glenn in the lineup. She had to watch up close. Y/n had to be mocked by that man. She had to stay the whole night with her best friends brains on her face. After that night she blamed herself. She told herself that if Negan was just one person off she would be dead and he would live. He would get to see his child born and grow old with Maggie like they had spoken about. She wholeheartedly believed he deserved to live over her. 

The war with Negan shook her to the core. At the time his face filled her nightmares. He just looked so normal. He looked nice even. Yet he hurt and he hurt and he hurt. 

He killed her Glenn. And then Carl. It wasn't Negans fault although she did blame him. Carl had gotten bit. Y/n held his hand as he died in that tunnel as the home they had built above them fell. She got a letter too - even though she would rather have preferred to have her brother back. In the letter, Carl told her how proud he was of her - how thankful he was to have her as a sister. He told her to protect Judith, their dad and Michonne, who she had recently begun to call momma. 

After Carl's death, y/n shut herself from the world well everyone except her father. For days she would cry until she couldn't anymore. She would scream and scream until her voice was gone. She just didn't understand why it had to be Carl? Why mom? Why Glenn? Why Beth? Why was it never her? The following weeks she found herself wishing it would be her next. She could never bring herself to say it out loud but with any battle, any fight, anything, she wished it would be her. 

So when she lost her father her whole world fell apart. He was her consistent so why did he leave her? She was at the bridge that day. Daryl held her crying frame as Rick set off that final shot blowing him and the walkers off the bridge. Y/n Grimes' father was dead. 

She stayed in Alexandria for a while afterwards. For the sole reason to protect her siblings. Yes, siblings - plural. Somehow through all the bad some good came from it. She just wished her father and Carl could've seen it. RJ Grimes came into this world 9 months later. And he was perfect. For months she would assist in taking care of him as Michonne wasn't doing the greatest without the love of her life. Truth be told neither was y/n she was just better at hiding it. 

Until one night it all became too much. Y/n didn't know how it happened but she found herself balancing on the edge of her window. She wanted to jump - to end it. But she just couldn't will herself to do it. And when Daryl showed up she knew she couldn't. "Hey step away from ta window, alrigh'," The man ordered as he saw her shaking frame rocking back and forth. 

"I-i can't," She sobbed. 

"Ye' ya can. Jus' step back I'll catch ya," Daryl moved closer but paused when she shouted to stop. 

"I can't, Daryl. They're all gone. They're all dead," The tears clouded her eyes. She shut them tightly picturing her families faces wanting so badly to join them. 

"Please jus' step back, y/n. Yer' not alone. I'm here," He croaked the tears floating down his cheeks, "Don't jump." 

"I love you, Daryl." 

"I love ya too, okay? So step away from the window," He watched as she turned her head slightly catching his eyes. 

"I love you but I can't. Tell mom, RJ and Judy I love them as well." 

Suddenly she went to fall forward but Daryl reacted quicker. He gripped her waist pulling her into the room unwilling to release his grasp. "Yer' not leaving me," He told her as she cried into his shoulder, "Yer' cant leave me." Overhearing the chaos, Michonne entered her daughter's room to see the window wide open and the two of them crying. Daryl looked at her. The look telling her all she needed to know. Michonne began to cry herself and joined them on the ground. 

"Y/n?" A small voice called from the door frame. 

"Judith go back to bed, okay?" Michonne told her but Judith continued towards her sister. The girl said nothing as she wiped her sister's tears and held her hand.

It was 5 years later now. After her attempt, she left Alexandria with Daryl in search of her father. She didn't believe he was alive despite everything inside her wanting to. But Daryl did and after what happened they became a lot closer. He was happy she joined him. Even though the act of being out there was gruelling at times he was glad he could look after her. And if something would've happened to her while he was gone he could never have forgiven himself. Understandably Michonne was angry that y/n decided to leave. Y/n was her daughter and Michone her mother. They needed each other but she was willing to let Y/n leave to figure that out. It brought her peace looking for her father. 

The silence was her favourite and as Daryl wasn't much of a talker she got lots of it. They got a dog too, which Daryl cleverly named Dog. Everything was a messed up version of okay but it was still good. Being out there made her find her purpose. She went home a lot more than Daryl did, which pleased her siblings and mother. It was always for a few days never longer as she feared she'd stay forever and she couldn't. As much as Alexandria is good it also drives y/n to a dark place. One she was in that night. She lost so much there. And staring at those four walls drove her insane. It didn't help how Negan was imprisoned there. Just thinking how close he was made her skin crawl. She knew how Rick visited him when he was alive that he believed Carl was right about the killing. That it had to stop. Y/n knew he was right too but she could never bring herself to one admit or two face Negan. 

It felt like a story she read as a child when the Whisperers showed up. Like Negan, they scared her. So when she was told about his escape she only assumed the worst. The Whisperers took so many from them. Like Enid for example. Her story was cut short because of them. The two never really spoke but she understood how she and Carl felt for each other at a time. So ultimately it felt like she lost her final piece of Carl when she died. Y/n wished she had spoken to her when she could've. She wished she could've heard the untold stories they shared. She needed to know about Carl's final years with her. But now she's gone too along with those memories. 

The war with the Whisperers took everything from them. The Kingdom. Hilltop. Alexandria. Along with the lives they lost in the process. With the group separated she found herself protecting Judy and RJ. Michonne had gone. Where she had gone to, y/n had no idea. For a messed up reason, she began to prepare herself for her mother's death before it was even announced. That was until she got the call. She was okay and... apparently so was Rick. 

Disbelief was what hit her first. She couldn't hear his voice nor see his face so how could she know it was true. Michonne didn't know either she couldn't if he was really there, still alive. That night of the call she left. Without hesitation, she kissed RJ and Judith's heads, told them she loved them and told them to tell everyone else that and left. She left in the direction Michonne had told her. 

She left to find her father. And she knew she wouldn't return until she did. "I'm coming, dad."

[safetycar-restart]

How about some Omega!Drivers, especially Max, with alpha!reader after the have a fight

Ok listen, you have no idea how much I love alpha!reader. It’s one of my favourite things ever. Everyone: never stop sending me alpha!reader thoughts. Ever.

I’m gonna talk about max, Lando and Daniel here but I can absolutely talk about the rest too if you’d like! Just let me know :))

Max:

I think max is someone who can sometimes get caught up in his emotions. He hates that about himself, but it happens and that’s always when your fights occur.

In the moment, he’s angry and tired and frustrated and always lashes out. You respond and a fight breaks out, with max being too angry to actually stop it or try to calm down. So, you leave.

Literally the moment the door closes, max is panicking so much. He can’t stand you leaving when you’ve been fighting. He just can’t.

And then he realises that your angry scent is still in the room and that just breaks him. The worst thing in the world to him is the idea that he’s made you unhappy. He can’t handle it.

He’s chasing after you almost instantly, begging you to come back and talk it out. He doesn’t care if the entire paddock hears him beg for you to come back, he needs his alpha with him.

You, of course, always listen.

Lando:

I think fights with Lando are a lot quieter? It’s mostly comments made over the course of a long time.

And Lando tends to just sink into himself? He’ll hide in his nest, hoping that if he stays for long enough, things will magically be fine with you when he leaves.

Of course that’s never the case. But I do think that Lando will be the one who comes to talk to you afterwards, not the other way around.

Now that’s not because you don’t want to go after Lando, you definitely do. But, you’ve learnt that Lando needs time by himself to process his thoughts and feelings before he speaks to you again. It’s something that none of his previous alphas have respected, and I think you not invading his space when he needs to think is something he appreciates so much.

Daniel:

I think sometimes, Daniel needs to be angry. He needs to just feel all those emotions and then afterwards, he’ll be okay again.

In the beginning of the relationship, this manifested itself by Daniel picking fights with you. And you knew he was picking fights, but you still fell for it anyway.

I think fights can actually go on for days with Daniel? With him just not knowing how turn off these negative emotions and literally no one knows what to do with him (once you’re mated, you learn that biting over Daniel’s mating mark and making him submit is actually exactly what he needs, but it takes a while to find that out).

But, the moment you suggest that maybe the two of you should break up? It’s over. Daniel is on his knees in an instant because he can’t have that. He finally found the perfect alpha for him, he can’t lose you.

[spideymarvelws]

can you do some technoblade x teen platonic reader headcanons about techno sorta being the reader’s mentor and being one of the only people on the smp who could actually defeat technoblade in a sword fight?

behold... another main character

Main Masterlist / Add Yourself To Your Taglist

Warnings : Violence, Death, Some cursing

Word Count : 4.0k

The Blade and The Survivor (1/?)

Technoblade x GN!Platonic!Teen!Reader

You’ve only ever heard the story’s of the famous blood god growing up

Your brother was the first to introduce you to the legend, the legend of a man who never died

Who’s fought battles that no person could ever dream of and walked out victorious every time

The well known anarchist who’s taken down government after government

You were hooked from the very beginning and after every tail he would tell, you would beg your brother to teach you how to fight like him

While your brother wasn’t the best, he knew his way around basic weapons from your grandfather and agreed 

He would bring you out to a nearby plains biome anytime you were free and teach you all he knew

And while it wasn't much, you were grateful for every piece of information and put your all into everything he taught you

He even reenacting some fights from the stories to make it interesting for you

You would always play along, acting as the infamous blade and running around with your brother

Sometimes you would shout “blood for the blood god” while killing cows or chickens

But you refused to kill pigs.

In fact you got a pet one and named it Bladey

For your birthday your brother got you a saddle and you made a carrot on a stick using the crops he stole from the farm so you could ride it across the village

He also gifted you a wooden sword and axe while he wielded stone

for safety of course, he wasn't about to give a child stone tools

Along with a shield that had the banner of your village

But out of every weapon, you were the best with a bow

You had a natural talent for it, every arrow you ever shot always hit its target

Your brother would always ruffle your hair and compare your aim to that of the blade’s, making you beam even brighter

“Who knew we have an archer on our hands, the blade could never compare,”

But all of this was done in secret

The village you lived in was safe, small and homey

Everyone knew one another, so the possibly of someone committing crimes or turning against someone was unlikely

The villagers were peaceful with one another

And with the iron golems patrolling every corner 

you loved to give them poppies from your mother’s garden as a thank you

There was no need to learn to fight when you lived in a place that never needed it

The village ran on balance, equality amongst each person so that everyone could be amongst one another in peace

Plus, at the time you were the youngest in the village, considered a baby by everyone

And while you had the kindness and curiosity to match it, there was always something missing

Training was the only thing that fulfilled it

Your brother thought that your practises would disrupt that balance so he never told anyone about your activities

And that stayed true until your last night in the village 

You, your brother and bladey were making your way back to the village after a long day of training when you noticed thick, black smoke rising from where it stood

You both started walking carefully to the area, you walking behind your brother with the pig in your arms for comfort

In the distance, you noted the shadow of pillagers and iron ore scattered across the grounds

You went to scream as you got close and run to your house, but your brother slapped his hand over your mouth and pulled you with him behind a nearby tree

But one of the pillagers heard the noise of leaves rustling and began to approach the both of you.

Your brother was quick to take out his sword, pushing you behind him 

“Listen to me Y/n, I want you to run okay? Run and never stop until you know you’re safe okay?”

You shook your head, “What about you? What about our parents?”

He smiled sadly, shakily ruffling your hair, “I’ll be right behind you... Now go!”

The sound of swords clashing and the screams of your brother were the last things you heard  as you ran, tears falling from your face 

Bladey squealed in your arms, wiggling and turning to get out of them, sensing the danger but you kept your grip tight, following your brother’s orders and running as far as pos sible

Needless to say he didn’t follow, neither did the rest of the village that was left in ashes and ruins after the attack

You couldn't find the heart to turn back, to fight along side your brother

You fled like a coward. Guilt, pain and hatred riding on your back 

But you didn't give up hope, plotting revenge against the mobs who destroyed your home

Who killed your family

You walked for days, stopping at villages, trading with them and improving your supplies

And getting a lot of carrots

Your wooden swords turned into iron, along with the rest of your tools

Your leather helmet turned into a full set of iron armor 

But you kept your old shield, repairing it every time it lost durability

You even crafted a crossbow that you learned was the main weapon pillagers used

You dreamed of pointing it at there neck, watching the sharp arrowhead puncture their skin and bleed out on the floor

You tended to sleep through the day and fight threw the night, taking out your anger on the mobs that spawned around the wood houses you made to keep yourself warm and isolated

Times when you weren't fighting and training, you spent in the library of any village you found, learning about anything you could

It was there you learnt about the rare ore diamonds, hidden deep in caves 

You also learned about enchantments, that made your armor and weapons even stronger

Soon enough you were geared up with full diamond armor and a set of diamond tools 

But it was never enough, you always needed more 

So you went to nether after repairing a ruined portal you came across

And began exploring

Gathered potions

All the materials you could find

Along with netherite

And fighting every mob you happened to pass by except piglins

For such a young age, you were stacked, maxed out to the point of boredom that you couldn't go further

Even Bladey had his own turtle shell, adjusted slightly to fit his head and allow him sight

You often wondered if this was what it was like to feel like technoblade

And throughout your journeys, you kept the stories your brother told you by heart, learning as much as you could about The Blade

You followed in his footsteps, using his successes as even more motivation to continue on your quest

And ready to finally get your revenge

It was easy to take down the pillage post, taking the banner and making your own shield that you kept as a trophy in your inventory as a reminder of what you lost

But it wasn’t enough, the loss of your family laid heavy and your heart

So you started protecting the villages you visited in exchange for lower prices in trades

You believed that was your purpose now, you had nothing else to do but fight for the people who couldn't fight for themselves

You wanted to help in ways that you couldn't all those years ago

You would wear a black cloak over your armor, the hood covering your head and a mask concealing your face

You couldn't imagine wearing a skull mask, even if it was for the aesthetic

You looked like death itself

Death with a cute pig side kick

Soon enough, word got around of a teenage warrior roaming the lands labelled ‘The Survivor’, catching the attention of Wilbur and Tommy who had just been exiled from L’manburg

“Why would we need them if we already have techno on our side?”

“Because we need all the allies we could get Tommy, plus we don’t want Shlatt to get to them first.”

You would be passing by Pogtopia on your horse with Bladey tucked into you lap sleeping, following a map to another village that needed help when a tall man stepped in front of your path, making you halt

“Why hello there, Survivor, care for a little chat?” he said ominously, leaning against your horse

You payed no mind to him, hitting his hand of your horse, rolling your eyes and moving around him

You’ve meet people like him on your travels before, people who only needed you for your skills and selfish reasons

At least, that how he came off and you didn’t care to stay and find out if your assumptions were true

“Hey, hey, hey, look, I’m sorry if I came off so forward but- I need your help,”

That made you stop.

“Need help with what exactly?”

He went on to explain his situation about a place called L’Manburg, an evil dictator named Jshlatt and his exile along with someone named TommyInnit

At first you said no.

You were only interest in keeping your own kind safe, protected people who needed it

And from the looks of it, it seemed that the two men put themselves in there position so they should be the one to take themselves out

That and you had more pressing matters to attend to than government

“What do you need? What would you want in return?” he started to beg, walking along side your horse as you started to ride away

“I already have all I need,” you croaked

“Well that seems boring. Don’t you want a bit of adventure in your life Survivor? A little bit of flavour to spice up it up? It must be so boring just fighting the same thing over and over again, why not work for a group? A collective?”

You grew tired of his voice, letting out a deep breath you began to consider his words

As much as you didn’t want to admit, he was right

You had been travelling around the lands, going insane, doing the same thing over and over

And while it helped people, it was growing tiring

Maybe one war wouldn’t be so bad, and perhaps you would learn some new stuff along the way

And the alliance with this so called L’manburg would be good for the long run

“If I agree... would you shut up?” you finally cut off his rambling and stopping your horse

He blinked in surprise, “Wow! If i had known talking would make you cave in, I would've brought up Tommy instead.”

You sighed, “I’ll help you okay? As long as I get free access to L’manburg afterwards along with all the supplies i need,”

“Done, done and done.”

The first day wasn’t as bad as you expected it to be

Wilbur was actually pretty chill, letting you make a new home out of the ravine they stayed in

Niki was also really kind, bringing sweet treats from Manburg every time she visited

It was nice to settle for a while, you couldn't remember the last time you slept under the same roof for more that a day

Your horse, Jewel along with Bladey seemed to settle well along with you

You also met Tubbo and Tommy, a lively duo that overwhelmed you at first but there energy was nice to see in such a grey environment

What you didn’t expect was to meet him

You would be mining a small space in the ravine for yourself and your pets when you heard a monotone voice sound from behind you

“Heh?! Who’s the kid?” 

You spun around, raising your sword to the intruder but froze when you noticed the familiar skull mask, along with pointy piglin ears hidden behind bright pink hair 

He didn’t seem fazed by your weapon, leaning against the stone door frame with his arms crossed

“You’re- you’re him.” you muttered in awe

Before he could respond, Wilbur popped out from behind him, “Oh, yeah. That’s Y/n, Y/n, Techno. Techno, Y/n,” he nudged his side, “They’ll be helping us take back L’manburg,”

Techno only nodded, “Nice.” he tilted his head, “Aren’t you that Survivor dude? That’s pretty pog.”

Cut to you standing frozen in place, jaw dropped to the floor, eyes wide in amazement

“You- you know who I am?” you squeaked, quickly sticking your sword in the ground and leaning against the handle, stumbling slightly

An attempt to seem cool in front of your idol

An attempt that didn't really work out

He let out a hum, “Heard the name from around yeah,” he pointed to your sword, “Might not want to stab your sword in stone, It’s not that affective.”

And with that he left

Leaving you in shock

If only your brother could see you now

After that interaction, you started to follow him around like a lost puppy, watching in awe at every little thing he did

You felt like a kid again, the warmth in your chest that you lost so long ago restored because the person who tied you and your brother together was here

Because you were training and fighting along side your childhood hero

He would act annoyed at first, always shrugging you off or moving to other rooms to avoid you

You were like a parasite 

He could never shake you off

He didn’t want to grow close to anyone, he was here to take down yet another corrupt government not to look after some orphan

That was Phil’s thing.

But after time he grew a liking to you, enjoying your presence while he was farming potatoes or visiting his cow farm

You acted different around him, the hard and emotionless exterior you showed to Tommy and Wilbur completely vanished and left an innocent, happy child

He always wondered why 

People never did that with him

He was a feared name across the lands of the smp, everyone usually kept there distance and became extremely cautious in his presence

But you didn’t seem to get scared, in fact, you were a talker, constantly asking question after question even if he gave no response

It was nice not to be alone after so long even though he would never admit it 

Even the voices started to take a liking to your bubbly and curious personality

Why is she asking the same question

Maybe you should answer her blood god

She seems nice

You really do take after your father

He saw a part of himself in you

Unlike Tommy and Wilbur, you weren’t fighting for government, you were fighting because you had nothing else to do

Because you were bored with your everyday life being, essentially, an assassin 

The thought always made him chuckle

He left like he could trust you over them because your weren't driven under a government

At least that’s what he told himself

He also wanted to see why they valued your alliance so much to give up half there riches to you from L’manburg

“Duel with me.” he said to you one day, out of the blue as you both made your way across a plain biome looking to animals to kill for food

“Heh?” you said under your breath, clearing your throat while heat rose your your face at his suggestion and the noise of surprise that escaped your mouth

Techno couldn't deny that his heart warmed just a little at the small things you began to pick up from him

“Fight with me,” he drew out his sword, turning around and facing you with the weapon raised in the air, “I wanna see what you’re made of ‘Survivor’. So come on, lets fight,”

This was the first time techno actually talked to you directly, uttered words other that demands, silly excuses or grunts of acknowledgement

“I-” you let out a deep breath, shakily taking out your own sword, “Okay, okay,”

After establishing some rules, the duel began.

He let you take the first hit, barely dealing him damage but you got the second hit as well, knocking him down two hearts

He was quick to regain himself, taking three hearts with his sword and a free hit with his bow

That gave you the idea to take out your own, running a good distance away and getting three shots in

It was a close fight, you didn’t mind if you lost. Fighting Technoblade was already an honour as it was

Then you jumped of a piece of stone, landing a crit and watched his items fall to the floor

Technoblade was slain by Y/n 

You let out a short breath, eyes widening in shock that you had just won

You just killed Technoblade

“I was only going easy on you- I- What enchantment do you have on your sword? You have creative mode don’t you? Yeah, you have creative mode... there’s just no way-”

You bit your lip, trying to suppress your laughs as the blood god ran over to pick up his items with a red face

“Hey! Hey don’t laugh! This isn’t a laughing matter!”

“It- it kind of is.” you said shyly, putting away your sword and eating some steak to regain the health you lost, “If it makes you feel better, I had one heart...”

“oNe hEaRt! She had one heart chat! What is this-”

His words had you rolling on the floor, wiping your eyes of the tears falling from your at how hard you were laughing

“What- What do I have to do for you to keep this between us-” he whispered after you calmed, looking around the the space, making sure it was just you and him

You shrugged, “Nothing really- I- uh, i didn’t mean to kill you... I’m sorry-”

Sorry? Who the fuck says sorry for killing someone

Who says sorry for killing him?

If anything you should be gloating, getting a billbourd and displaying the chat message for everyone to see

He’s never been gladder that nobody else was connected to the chat at the time

“I was going easy on you.”

“I- sure, sure okay...” you thought about it for a second, “If so... then why don’t you teach me the things you didn’t try? Like techniques and stuff...”

He froze at your suggestion, “You want- you want to learn from me?”

“Yeah!” you beamed, “You were... a big inspiration for me growing up and, I would love to learn from the source and not just through tails and stories.”

He thought about it for a bit, usually he would rely on his voices but they were all just insulting him

He didn’t see the harm in it, out of all the children on the SMP, he tolerated you the most

That and you had potential, it was rare to find someone with such skills and who acted humble with them

He sighed, patting the top of your head with a huff, “Sure... Sure why not.”

“Wait, seriously?”

“Yeah sure, I mean what’s the harm in it right?” he ruffled your hair

The action made your eyebrows rise and when you looked back up at the piglin hybrid, all you saw was the smile of your brother looking down at you

“Hey, everything alright?” he questioned, noticing your sudden glossy eyes

You quickly rubbed them with your knuckles, “Yeah, yeah I- I just forgot something at Pogtopia,” you said, backing away with an embarrassed smile, “I’ll meet you back there,”

“Sure, sure... I’ll just continue hunting,”

As you ran away he let out a deep breath, taking out swords and looking down at it with a scoff

“Chat... we never speak of this... again.”

After that, the both of you were inseparable 

Going on adventures with each other, looting and exploring together

Where ever he went, you followed in his footsteps as he taught you about whatever he could

He even took you to his secret base and allowed you to help him in gathering supplies to help the fight

“What’s with the pig by the way?”

“It’s my emotional support pig.”

“And his name is bladey?”

“...”

“It’s a short for bladder...now what were you saying about poisoned arrows?”

And while you appreciated the action, your favourite times where the calm ones

When he would take you up to a hight tower or hill so the both of your could relax, maybe eat some mushroom stew as he told you stories of his own adventures 

You opened up to him as well, telling him about your family and your village, how you were travelling around with so sense of direction

It was strange how easily he trusted you, maybe it was because you had similar experiences as him

You understood him and he understood you

You also began to make good friends with the rest of Pogtopia along with everyone else who started to betray shlatt and join there side, becoming more open with the reassurance from Techno that they weren’t bad people

You fit in well, a lot more that he did

You had potential for a bloodless life, he saw that

He didn’t want you to make the same mistakes as him, he didn’t want you to live the same isolated life

And while you agreed with his thoughts on anarchy, he didn’t want to you to have any part in what he was doing.

So when L’Manburg was taken back and Tubbo was but in power, he felt a sense of dread opening his enderchest and taking out his six wither skulls

Don’t let the wither’s hurt them

You’re going to hurt them more that they are

You won’t be able to protect

Protect them at all costs

It wasn’t just the voices that felt the urge to keep you safe

Over the months he’s grown a liking to you, treating you like his own student and teaching you the things he wish he knew at your age

But he could also be the one to corrupt you.

And he didn’t have the heart to find out which way it would go

You caught sight of the skulls in his hands before he switched to his sword, a hard look on his face as everyone began fighting each other

“Techno?” you walked up to him, “Are you-”

“Yeah... yeah I am.” he puffed out his chest, pulling you the side, “Look, things are about to get messy and when they do I want you to run-”

You knew where this was going, flashbacks of your brother fighting one of the pillagers to save you as you ran away to safe yourself, sacrificing himself for you

“No.” you cut him off before he could continue.

While you knew Techno was going to come out of this alive, you had the power to help him now, to help everyone, you didn’t need to run anymore

You considered Techno family now, well the closest thing you had to it and you weren't about to loose that

Not again.

“I’m staying with you Tech,”

He shook his head, “If you do, L’manburg would never look at you the same, you’ll be an outcast once again-”

“Then do what you have to do, but I’m not running away. What happens here is because of everyone’s belief and I believe in safety and protection so that is what I’ll provide.” you took out your sword smirking, “Plus, we all know what happened last time when you tried to fight me,”

“I thought you promised to never speak of this again!”

“I’m sorry I had to-”

“Okay kid, okay...” he took a deep breath, “Just stay clear of dream and his crew... and the withers... Actually? here take some golden apples-”

“Just go be an anarchist Techno,” you pushed him forwards, rolling your eyes, “I’ll be fine.”

“Actually, take this God apple and a few more potions-”

“I already have some-”

“Well take more. And some extra armor... just in case-” he threw the items at you before running away and setting up the soul sand, not wanting anyone to catch on to what he was doing

And with one final look around following the conclusion of his speech, he placed the skulls, unleashing ultimate chaos on the land once called L’manburg

...

Sorry this took so long! I always get ahead of myself with requests and end up writing a lot more that planned but i hope you enjoyed! I was making this so long that I had to spit this into part two, maybe part three to cover the rest of the lore and to be able to develop more on their relationship besides backstory

That and i really want to write the execution scene but this was already 4k words... 

Feedback always appreciated🥰

[bakugohoex]

Ok ok hear me out: a sleepover with the class 1A girls and the fem reader, they all let loose eating, doing face masks, dancing in their tiny pjs or whatever and the boys hear about it and go spy on the girls. Bakugou goes because he’s curious to see what the reader is like when they’re not in school (as she seems mom friend ™️) turns out she’s like a big goofball and a dancing queen and Bakugou gets all blushy after realizing he has a fat crush on her. The guys get caught obviously 😂 ty sm!!💕

“she’s doing what?”

pairing: katsuki bakugo x female reader

cw: language, kissing, fluff

word count: 1500+

a/n: umm hi, this is a request and i’m done for tonight i need to get on the grind again with revising so hopefully i’ll go back to posting once a day but i thought new year a little treat

summary:  in which you’re seen as the mom of class 1a, the boys got to spy on the girls sleepover and what they didn’t expect was you to confess your crush but also for you to have hidden talents that makes bakugo realise he needs to have you 

↞ back to my hero academia masterlist

If you don’t think you have these boys in the palm of your hand then you’re lying to yourself.

They’re either scared of you telling them off or fearful of disappointing you.

Even Bakugo will refrain from his usual angry self around you,

It’s probably more due to his infatuation with you though.

This boy just wants to know what makes you tick.

How someone like you has the ability to be so caring to the class that even Mineta stops being a perv when you’re around.

He says he doesn’t care.

He does care.

This man just wants to know if you ever act like a normal teenager.

You literally worry about everything with the class.

Making sure Denki doesn’t overcharge himself and become well dumb.

Making sure Ururaka doesn’t use her quirk too much to make her puke.

Even making sure Deku’s injuries arent as bad as they really are.

This man follows the rest of the boys to the girls sleepover and is in shock.

Utter shock at the sights of you doing the Tiktok dance Mina had been begging you to do.

The facemasks and music played in the common area on the bottom floor, the tight shirts and shorts on all the girls. You all had been playing truth or dare with masks you and Mina had bought hours prior. Ready to peel off the masks and toss them in the bin hopefully feeling refreshed and rehydrated. The Saturday night sleepover had been a sacred ritual for months now, the boys being banned from even daring to step one-foot downstairs.

“Truth or dare, Y/n.” Ururaka giggled with the tea that Momo had made in her grasp.

You thought looking around the group, “truth.”

The boys had finally got the nerve to come crawling down. They hid in the kitchen listening in, Mineta being locked in his room due to him being well a pervert. Even Bakugo stood alongside the group of his own free will, they were all listening in, watching how you were waiting for the truth question.

His eyes perked upwards listening into round faces question, he didn’t care about the rest of the girls. He just wanted to see how you were outside the comfort of class and school, of course he had seen you in your less worrying state but this, your shorts shorter than normal. Your shirt peaking upwards towards your stomach, he waited and waited until the words dripped from round faces mouth.

“Out of all the boys in the class who would you date?” It was unexpected and he hoped he said you, it was a wish, knowing how close you were with Todoroki and Midoriya he didn’t expects his name to ever come from a question like that.

He watched you think, your eyes looked tired but still happy before you confessed, “100% Bakugo.”

“Y/n I cant believe you’re actually into the angry Pomeranian.” Momo spoke up.

“Hey, it’s not my fault, like he’s not that angry with me and he’s just I don’t know, I think he’d be an amazing boyfriend.” You confessed the truth, knowing Bakugo would never found out so you didn’t care, “also he’s so fucking attractive.”

They laugh as the truth and dare continued, the boys had looked at Bakugo, his face beet red and his eyes were a lot softer. “She…she likes me.” He whispers.

“Now you can ask her out.” Kirishima nudged him with his shark teeth grinned.

“Shut it.” He muttered allowed not to anyone in particular. You liked him, you saw more past the anger and thought he’d be a good boyfriend. Hell you ever called him attractive, it fuelled his ego and he wanted to see even more.

The boys continued to listen in, “this was a waste of time.” Tokoyami muttered having been dragged here. He left with some others, Bakugo hadn’t noticed but Midoriya stayed talking to Todoroki and Sero and Kirishima and Denki paid attention to the girls so Bakugo wouldn’t feel self-conscious about staying to here you speak. Well Denki mostly stayed thinking that a pillow fight would occur soon enough.

“Y/n, let’s make the Tiktok dance.” She gestured; this perked Bakugo’s ears but he was unable to move. You weren’t going to dance; you were too pristine and clean to dance to a Tiktok song.

“Woah Y/n’s a fucking good dancer.”

“She’s doing what?” He listened to the sound of oops! By yung gravy, it had been playing in Mina’s phone for the past week and Bakugo had gotten sick of it.

But clearly you had learnt the dance as you did it with ease with Mina, you both did the dance with a swing in your step, he watched in awe at how your body moved. Heavily attracted to you and enticed by your movement. He continued to stare, moving his body to lean against the wall in view of the girls as he watched you. He needed you, he craved you and most of all he didn’t care who knew about their spying at all. 

“Agh.” Hagakure belched out, making you all stop. You noticed Bakugo’s eyes skim you up and down.

You looked at how the other boys fell out of the kitchen, silence occurred but Bakugo stayed leaning against the wall eyes directly facing you. “How long were you guys there?” You ask, “tell me.”

“Long enough.” Sero spoke to ease the tension.

You heard the noise of stomping down the corridor seeing an agitated Iida, “I told you all there would be consequences if you followed Kaminari.” The blame had shifted to the boy who jolted out of there Jirio and Tsu chasing after him.

Momo, Mina, Hagakure and Ururaka looked between you and Bakugo all knowing he had heard the words that had supposed to have been private. “Let’s go.” Kirishima muttered making the boys leave except Bakugo, the girls looked before collecting there things and scurrying away themselves.

Mina mouthed a sorry before you moved towards your discarded hoodie about to put it on, “leave it.”

It was a command rather than a suggestion and you obliged, tossing it with your things. Before sitting on the sofa, he sat beside you in silence, you looked down not wanting to meet his gaze, “Iida was right, you shouldn’t have been watching us.”

“Really you going to tell me off to avoid the real matter.” He pulled at his hair and action that made your stomach churn with butterflies.

“I don’t know what you’re talking about.” You lied.

He laughs cocking his head back before meeting your gaze, “you’re the one who said I’d be an amazing boyfriend and called me fucking attractive.”

“I…” You couldn’t lie he had repeated the words, word for word.

He moved closer grabbing your jaw with his rough hands. “You could’ve just told me.” He spoke making your face move closer to his own. His lips brushing against your neck, his hot breath fanning your exposed skin.

“Bakugo.”

“Katsuki, you already think I’m fucking attractive, so call me Katsuki you brat.” You took in a sharp breath, his hand still on your jaw, your cheeks squished between his fingers. “I saw you do that Tiktok, showing yourself off like that to everybody, only I can see that, not those shitty extras, only me.”

You hummed in agreement feeling intoxicated by his voice waiting for him to continue, “you want to be mine, want to be my fucking girl don’t you.”

His thumb brushed against your lips, a soft moan of a “yes” erupted from your mouth. It was beauty to his ears, he felt you lick your lips brushing his thumb.

“Prove it then.” It was another command, he needed you to beg, needed you to prove that you wanted to be his. “Beg for me.”

He brushed his thumb across your cheek, you closed your eyes, “I want to…to kiss you.” It was torture to say, torture to admit that you craved his touch even more.

“That’s all I wanted to here baby girl.” He let go of your grabbing your waist and bringing you closer to him.  “You’re a lot more than an irritating worrier than I thought.”

“Katsuki.” You pout, “I thought being nice would make people like me.”

“Be yourself idiot.” He spoke.

“O…” Before you could agree his lips smashed onto your own.

He spoke through the kiss as he nibbled on your bottom lip, “shut up.” You nodded wanting to feel his tongue inside of you, teeth banging together. His touch sending shivers down your spine, feeling him kiss you with such passion that drives you crazy.

His lips were exactly how you expected them to be, rough and able to bruise your own. Your lips felt sore, felt bitten and wary. You felt his tongue guide your own, you followed his movement, his hands in your hair pulling you closer.

He let go taking a breath, watching your dazed position on top of his lap. “Fuck, we should ugh…” He didn’t know how to speak your figure on him making his ears perk red.  “…go out or something, I don’t care.”

“I’d love too Katsuki.” You smile, you hadn’t expected his next movement. His arms wrapping around your waist into a hug, the words you had said prior about being an amazing boyfriend. Had shot something inside of him, you believed he would be good at something, and maybe even maybe you believed he would be your amazing boyfriend.

i’d really appreciate if you guys could leave a like, reblog or comment, thanks x

if you guys want to be a part of a tag list, just reply to any post and i’ll add you xx

@samusimp @alainarose13 @crispychannie @underratedmage @jennammaee @cathy8taffy @sugacious @moonlightaangel @kat-sukis-hoe @effmigentlywithachainsaw @swankiifiied @maat-the-prescriptive @missmultifangirl @tvwhoresblog @kuroos-world @chrrylevi @ukaisgratefulwhore​

[return-of-a-space-cowboy]

Yandere halloween ask yandere mad scientist! Bruno uses mind control chip to get darling to be the perfect spouse?

This ask right here made my mouth froth, I love Stepford wives so this ask just rolled along perfectly. Anyway enjoy!

This love

(Yandere mad scientist Bruno X female reader)

You had always thought so highly of Dr Buccirati, you were his apprentice after all but there were times that you thought he just went a little too far with his work and this was one of them.

As he explained to you about how he made a chip that could modify an animal's behaviour. How the chip was planted in the rat's brain that you were holding.

"See (Y/n), look at how tame she is now" he said as he petted the poor creature's head.

"What do you intend to do with what you have learnt?" You asked with anger in your words.

"I intend to have the chip used to help with the conservation of the many animals that are close to being extinct. The animals will have the procedure and be put into captivity, they'll have no more issues with stress or aggressive behaviours which allows for them to be safely cared for and less risk during the reproduction cycle" he explained.

"So what you are saying is that you're going to be suppressing their natural survival instincts so they become domesticated?" You asked with a bitter taste on your tongue.

"That's exactly it, they'll have a safe place to repopulate and have nothing to worry about" he answered as he expressed his delight but it only made you grit your teeth in anger.

"I'm disgusted by what you are doing! You're essentially performing a lobotomy on these poor animals! You're playing god and taking away the emotions of a living creature!" You yelled at him.

"I've helped you work on some crazy things before… but I cross the line here!" You continued as you put the rat down in her cage before folding your arms at Bruno.

"Come on (y/n), you're overreacting… what I'm, no what we are working on is going to change history. So many species will be saved from becoming extinct. we will be two of the greatest scientific minds the world has ever know" he held your shoulder and lightly massaged it as he tried to convince you that there was no wrong in it.

"I don't know why you insist that this is a joint effort but I don't want anything to do with it, if people figure out how it works then it won't be long before this is used on humans… how many corrupt governments do you think would love to have this kind of technology used on their own people?" You rebuttal.

you glared at Bruno as you could see his usually calm demeanor wearing thin. He had his hands gripping his short black locks.

"(Y/n) the truth is that I love you, more than I could love anyone else. I want you to be by my side and I want you to be my equal…" he as his grip on you grew tighter.

"You are so intelligent and so beautiful… I just want you to do your best" he continued.

You pulled away the male with a shocked expression plastered on your face.

"Bruno… I didn't know you felt that way about me but I'm afraid I don't share the same feelings, I just don't think the chemistry is there between us" you told him before you headed to your bedroom.

🧪🧪🧪

You had decided you needed to cut ties from Bruno and finally begin your own work. You don't think anything could keep you working with him now. You began to pack your clothes back into your suitcase.

"(Y/n) are you planning on leaving now?" He asked as he rested himself against the door frame, he seemed to have recollected himself but to you something was off about his almost carefree tone.

"I intend to leave tomorrow" you said as you sat on your bed and folded your clothing.

"Don't you think you're blowing this out of proportion, can't we put the breaks on just talk about this over some tea..." he said as he slowly drew closer to you.

"I understand that you're upset and I didn't make things much better" he continued calmly before violently grabbing your hand causing you to fall back onto the bed before you heard a metallic click. You screamed as you tried to pull your hand back to find it was handcuffed to the head of the bed.

"What the hell?!" You screamed at Bruno who was now on top of you.

"I'm sorry that it had to come to this but I can't let you leave" he said.

"I love you too much to let you go… you're too good for this world" he continued.

You felt your stomach twist horribly and your vocal cords seize up. Your eyes were wide with horror.

"I dealt with my unrequited love for so long, I tried to just to put my feelings aside for you but I feel like if I keep it up any longer I'll explode" he rambled you tried to push him with your free hand but he was quick to hold it down.

🧪🧪🧪

It had been a month since he'd locked you up. You were curled up with your knees to your chest, you could see every little mark he'd ever left on your body, you still felt the sting that each love bite left on your skin. Today was cold and the chain and cuff around your ankle made it worse as you shivered in a silk nightgown.

You flinched as you heard the front door open. You had hoped that maybe that was anyone but Bruno, someone that could free you from this place. You heard a pair of footsteps draw closer, your hope dying as the same pattern tore into your brain… you knew he was home.

"(Y/n) I'm home" his voice was cheerful as he opened the door.

"I'm sorry I was later than usual… I found so many things I thought you'd like" he explained as he walked in with a large bag in his hand before placing it on the bed. You were hesitant to look but his sapphire eyes stared at you in anticipation, making your skin crawl.

You grabbed the bag and the first thing you pulled out was a 50s style white and black polka dotted dress. You looked at Bruno with a forced smile on your face.

"Bruno this is really nice but I've never really been a fan of dresses" you told him. He didn't respond. You pulled out another similar dress before picking out various boxes with golden jewelry till there was one more box inside, however it was rectangular in shape unlike the others. You pulled it out only to gasp in horror as you gazed upon the packaging of a pregnancy test. You looked back at him.

At this point you knew something was wrong, your stomach was telling you.

"What's going on?" You asked him with shakey words.

"I just need you to take it" he responded.

"Why?" 

"I need to know whether or not you're pregnant, it's urgent"

"Urgent, what's urgent?!" You yelled at him.

"You're being extremely vague, it's scaring me" you replied, unsure of what was so urgant. You really hoped you weren't, having to live knowing your child was of his blood.

"Just take it please, wouldn't you like to know as well?" He begged.

You had a bad feeling about this but if you knew now then you could try to do something about it if it did come back positive. You let out a defeated sigh as you unboxed the test.

"See you didn't need to make such a big deal about it dear" he said in a light hearted tone as he walked towards the bed and unlocked the shackle on your leg and allowed you to go to the bathroom.

You felt the relief wash over you as you saw the results. It was negative, perhaps you were getting yourself all worked up.

"(Y/n) dearest, what's the results?" Bruno asked from outside the bathroom door. You opened it and showed him, his eyes lit up with joy as he hugged you which was very odd indeed, you assumed he'd had baby fever… if that was the case shouldn't he be disappointed.

You recoiled as you felt a sharp jab on the inner side of your elbow. You saw the now empty syringe in his hand.

"What are you doing?!" You screamed as you stumbled back from his grasp. He looked at the syringe and let out a content hum before his eyes returned to you.

He contemplated on whether he should tell you or not but at this point you couldn't do anything to stop him so there was no point in hiding it.

"I remember back on the night you tried to leave fondly, in hindsight you gave me the most brilliant idea" he explained.

"That whole talk on how my chip could work on humans was really inspiring, so I'm going to do just that… if you won't love me like this, then I can just make you love me" he continued as a smile grew on his lips.

The shock hit you as he explained it all, it horrified you to imagine it. It shook you to the very core. Everything else seemed like a luxury in comparison to losing everything.

"Bruno, please don't do this! I love you so much!" You screamed as you draped your body over him.

"My dear I love you so much… I'll stay with you forever… I'll give you as many children as you want, please oh please don't do this!" You were practically sobbing as you tried to pull on his strings.

"I'll do anything for you, anything at all!" You continued as you felt everything becoming numb, he had you in his hands and he could do anything he wanted to you.

"Please Bruno, we can put this all behind us and start over… you never imprisoned me, you never did those things to me… we can be the happiest couple!" You pleaded to him as your eyelids grow heavy.

"Please… please… I won't be the same person you feel in love with if you do this…" your screams turned into a mutter and as you tried to fight off the deep abyss of unconsciousness you swore you could see a glimpse of your whole life with every slow blink.

🧪🧪🧪

"What you've made is amazing Bruno, you should be proud of your work" the man in front of Bruno complimented his work.

"Thank you sir, to be honest I wouldn't be here showing you this if it wasn't for my wonderful wife" he said as he beamed with joy.

"Oh, your wife must be an amazing woman to help you" the man replied.

"Yes she is. She always gave me the right idea when I was unsure, she'd be here with us right now if it weren't for the upcoming baby. She's just been so ecstatic about it since we found out" he stated as he had his head in his hand. He was over the moon with joy, he couldn't talk to someone without bringing up the fact that he was going to be a father soon.

"Oh congratulations, how long till it's due?" The male congratulated him.

"Oh it's close, we're expecting around October… It's hard to imagine that I'll be a father in two months"

"And how's the lucky lady feeling about this? My wife was pretty worried before our first" he asked.

"Oh she's been great, she's been taking it all in stride. I haven't seen her sick or having any mood swings like what most of us tend to expect" Bruno chuckled as he slumped back into his chair.

"We should probably get back on topic… I should probably explain how these chips work in detail"

[bookishdream]

Could you do a Kaz x reader where the reader have to "cheat on him" (not in relationship but like she goes to another gang) because someone's threatening her and when he discovers she was just trying to protect him and the gang she dies

A/N: Hi! Thank you so much for a request, I've been wanting to write some angst for a really long time! I hope it is as hurtful as you wished, enjoy xx

TW: angst, blood, killing

kaz brekker x reader

Your hands were sweaty and shaking. You crossed your arms on your chest in order to hide that. You didn’t like being threatened, especially by some amateurs. But it wasn’t a threat against you, it was against your family in Novyi Ziem. You had to use your whole will power to not kill them right there and then.

“Why do you think I’d do anything you want me to?” you asked snapping your gaze between a woman and a man in front of you. “You don’t know anything about me and my family you assume I have.”

“Oh, y/n, but we know everything. For instance, your little brother is playing as we talking on your vast field, your parents are watching him with so much love in their eyes,” woman with blonde hair spoke first, describing the scene so vividly that you almost showed an emotion on your face. “maybe they have already forgotten about you? Maybe your mother is pregnant so they could fill a blank you left in their home.”

“Shut up, you think you’re so smart, aren’t you?” you snapped, face blank and mind filling with memories from times when you were as young as your brother was then, playing on the exact same field. “I will never betray Kaz, and you should know that.”

“Oh sweetie,” the guy beside walked closer to you, you made a step, in order to make some distance between you and them. “we’re not asking you to betray him, we’re asking you to leave this silly gang and join us, Pekka Rollins would be really happy if you did.”

“You two are much denser than I thought, if you think I want to make him happy.”

“You don’t have a choice.” Blonde said, making you shiver. “We have someone who would be pleased to kill this little family of yours. I don’t think you want them dead, even though they think you are, in fact, dead.”

You started to think about that. Crows were your friends and you love them. Inej and Nina always found various ways to make you cheerful when your day wasn’t the best, Jesper taught you how to use a pistol and flirted with you like his life depended on it. Wylan was like a sun in rainy days, even if you loved them, you also loved this boy and his stupid jokes. Matthias was funny to tease, he always was saying how awful you and the girls were, but you could also see this little twitch of his lip corner when he tried to suppress his laugh. And there was Kaz, your beginning wasn’t the pleasant one, you nearly killed him when you saw him for the first time, and in revenge he left you in the Barrel for the whole night, all alone. But after that, you started falling for him, and you fell hard. You couldn’t exactly point out when that happened, but you were sure you’d anything to save him from himself. He had tough personality, he cared only for money and how he could invest it to get the whole city only for himself. But he let you do that with him, barley sleeping and when you did it was in the same bed. Arm-length gap but you always were less exhausted than when you were sleeping in your own bed. You loved him and the rest of the Crows, but you loved your family more. And you knew what you had to do.

“Bitch.” You murmured. “Fine, whatever. Just stay the hell out of my family. And the gang.”

“We knew you’d make a right decision. Pekka will send money to Per Haskell in order to buy your contract. You won’t regret that.”

“I already do.”

After that day, you were about to start living with your new gang, family, like Pekka had said to you the previous day, he’d also told you to not worry about your parents and brother, that they were safe as long as you were working with him, willingly.

You wouldn’t call this willingly, but you guessed it was enough to prevent your family from any harm coming from Pekka and his stupid gang. You hated being here, you missed the Crow Club, late night talks with Inej and Nina, and helping Kaz with buying new ships. You wanted nothing more than to escape, but you couldn’t. Kaz and Crows could fight and kill, whereas your family was vulnerable, they couldn’t even hurt a fly. You spent the whole evening in your empty room. Window with grids making you shiver, you felt like a prisoner you were.

“We have a job for you.” The blonde girl who captured you came in, like it was her cell, not yours. “Behave and perhaps we’ll get rid of those grids.”

You wanted to punch her, you didn’t even know her name, it wasn’t even relevant, your hand was itching. You took a long, calming breath and looked at her, frowning. “I thought it was another week until you’d trust me enough to even open my window.”

“You’ve been here for two weeks. Plans have changed, we need you right now, so cut the attitude and come with me.”

You rolled your eyes and went after her, going up the stairs and leaving the place Pekka’s gang lived. You took another deep breath, smelling the awful scent of Ketterdam, smoke and money as Kaz used to say. Gods, you missed him.

“Where are we going?” you asked, falling into step with the girl, there were only the two of you, you assumed the rest will be somewhere where you were going. “What’s the job?”

“Can’t you just shut up? You’ll know when we’re there.”

You really wanted to punch her, still you said nothing, you wouldn’t get anything from her. It was dark on the city’s streets, buildings high enough to cover the moon, didn’t let its shine to light up the roads. You were annoyed and cold, your hair was swaying with the wind, goose bumps poking on your skin.

“Here.” Blonde said, handing you a pistol. “If you kill someone from ours, you’re dead before you take your last breath.”

You rolled your eyes, hiding your gun into the pocket of a coat you had. The metal was cold, making your hands even colder than they were before. Now when you had a real gun, not only your knife, perhaps you’d be able to escape. But where would you go? You were sure Kaz knew where you were, perhaps thinking you betrayed him, that thought only made you feel guilty in your guts, he trusted you and you chose people who you hadn’t seen for years over him. You had to escape, the cost didn’t matter.

When you came to the place, you saw a guy from Pekka’s gang and Kaz. Both of them were talking, but members of both groups had their guns or blades taken out. The Dirtyhands had his black coat, and his walking stick, as always. Jesper also was beside him, hands on his gun belt, ready to take them out and fire. You were more than sure that Inej was also there, somewhere on the roof or in the shadows, waiting and prepared to fight.

“We have men everywhere, two on roofs, one behind the bridge. All of them have guns pointed on you and your previous friends. I hope you know what that means.” The girl said, eyeing you. You only nodded, worrying too much about the Crows to even snap at her. “Good, now go and wait for a signal.”

You did as you were told, you hid somewhere behind a building, trying to recall every piece of information you gathered while snooping on guards or using the fact that they didn’t always close your doors. You had to find someone and tell them, you couldn’t waste any more time.

You poked your head out, searching for Matthias or Wylan. You doubted Nina would be here, since she was still working in the pleasure house. You were sure Wylan was there with his explosion ready to, well, explode. You cursed under your breath, when you couldn’t spot any of them, panic getting out of you with frustration. Someone from the Dime Lions would notice you’re not somewhere where they could spot you.

You crossed the narrow lane, as you noticed Matthias, you whistled hoping he would look into your direction. He turned his head and spotted you, anger on his face visible even in the dark. You cringed, knowing you’d get beaten up.

“You’ve got some nerve,” He said, his voice low. “after you started working with them, you have the audacity to come here.”

“Listen, I didn’t have a choice,” your voice so close to start begging him for forgiveness. “It was about my family.”

He looked at you wordlessly, confusion painting his face. Of course, he didn’t know you had a family, why would he. After a second, the ire came again. “You’re lying.”

“I'm not, I want to help you.”

“Oh, so now you did that to help us?”

“Matthias, I’m begging you, just let me tell you what I learnt.” You pleaded, your voice small. “Pekka wants to kill you as you’re standing, he has those new guns that can shoot you from really long distance.”

“What?” he looked alarmed, “We have to tell Kaz. Come.”

You let out a breath, it wasn’t the best look he sent you, but at least he didn’t leave you here. You told him everything you knew, he listened but his face still didn’t have pleasant expression.

You took out your gun, making your way behind the dumpster, hiding in shadows. You tried to calm your nerves, but the adrenaline had already kicked in. Matthias and you startled when you heard a shot, then another. You sent yourselves a knowing look, taking a step closer to the place where Kaz and the other guy were talking. Jesper had his guns out and Kaz was looking at the boy in front of him with disgust. You saw one of the Dregs were bleeding, you lifted your gun, targeting the closest one from the Dime Lions and fired. The bullet hit the girl in her stomach, making her stumble and fall to the ground. You hid yourself behind the wall and waited. Matthias sent you a look and you only lifted your arms, not knowing what to said.

After that, guns started firing, screams were everywhere. You saw the blonde girl that came here with you, standing with her pistol, aiming Kaz. You shot without looking, trying to hit her in an arm, you heard her scream and saw how the gun was laying on a ground. You looked up and saw that Kaz was looking at you, his face blank and unreadable. Jesper beside him, shooting people and screaming at Wylan to explode. The sound of explosion came from the roof, exactly where members of Lions were, you let out a shaky breath and made a step into the fight. Matthias fighting with his fists, slowly making his way toward Kaz, you tried to help him clear the path by shooting few people either in their heads or legs.

Your hands were tired, your head pounding but you were fighting hard, you had to make this in order to confess Kaz the whole truth. When you were close to him, he locked his eyes into yours.

“We have to talk.” You told him, lowering your tone. “Please.”

“This is not the best time to talk, y/n” the way he said your name made you shivered. It wasn’t an intimate way, it was with so much poison in only one word. “Why aren’t you fighting with your new gang?”

“Kaz, please, I’m trying to help.” You voiced, your eyes burning with sweat that slowly dripped from your forehead.

“Whatever.” He smacked an opponent with his cane, you only heard the sound of cracked bone and a loud thud when the enemy fell to the ground.

You two were fighting as you had before Pekka came into your life. Kaz understood you without any words, knew exactly where he should cover you because you couldn’t. Your movements were precise, keeping people away from Kaz’s vulnerable leg. You were fighting in a harmony, you kept your focus on people you had to kill, you shot them without any hesitation. When your bullets ended, you took out your knife and started stabbing everyone who wanted to stab you.

“I– “you paused, feeling a pain in your abdomen. You looked at Kaz, but he was looking at your lower stomach, you placed your gaze there and you saw blood. A lot of blood, then you felt pain, you stumbled, but Kaz placed his hand on your waist, slowly letting you fall on the ground. Your whole stomach was on fire, slowly burning you with its flame.

“Don’t you even dare dying here, messing my coat with your blood” he said, caressing your cheek. You chuckled, tasting blood on your tongue. “Don’t even think about it, y/n.”

“I’m–, please forgive me, Kaz” you murmured, hoped your words were understandable. “I was trying to save my family, but you’re my family too.”

“Y/n, I forgive you, but I’m begging you, don’t close your eyes” his voice filled with regret, eyes burning with anger, but you knew it wasn’t toward you. “Keep your eyes open.” He yelled at someone, but you couldn’t understand either it was Jesper or Matthias.

“Tell them I love them” you started to give up, your eyelids slowly closing. “I love you, Kaz Brekker.”

“Y/n, please don’t leave me” he tried to keep his voice from cracking, but he failed.

But you didn’t hear that, you had your eyes closed, hand that was laying on your stomach, now laying on the ground. He carefully removed his arm and got up. He spotted a blonde girl, smirking and looking at him, she slowly lifted her pistol, mockingly swaying it. She winked at him and still with a smirk, she left. Kaz made a promise he would kill her, he would do it for him. And for you.