#or maybe im confusing some stuff
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went to the british museum but a part of the mesopotamian exhibition was closed due to renovations so i didn't get to see the epic of gilgamesh or the royal game of ur ;-;
#cries in nerd#was really looking forward to it#also is it sooo difficult to add to their site which exhibitions are closed????#got to see some cool akkadian stuff tho#and the rosetta stone#tho i think that one's a replica?#need to read up on the history of the rosetta stone tho#i think the original one might have been destroyed?#or maybe im confusing some stuff#personal
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i think i should draw ragatha ocd more actually
#and pomni ocd but rn im thinking about moral ocd#which i dont think is a big theme for pomni#pointing at ragatha. you.#im extremely tired i stayed up way later than intended doing compulsions for 1-2 hrs wo realizing until after#so i should make it her problem again.....#ragatha ocd wont happen tonight if i get any ideas thouhhh im tired#which i say that a lot but im disoriented levels of tired rn so definitely nothing happening#gonna watch silly videos on yt or smth then fall asleep and think abt this in more detaail in the morning...#ok actually thinking and i think these two could have fascinating conversations around these things bc their themes are so different#both engage in compulsory behavior but for different reasons so it still confuses the other#even though they sorta? understand and comprehend the thought process and dont think too much of it...#maybe itd be good for them to talk about these things honestly#tbqh i started feeling a little guilty abt posting ragatha ocd stuff bc i was like ohhhh am i doing it cus it got notes so its disingenuous#and evil actually and i should STOP drawing it because you are trying to MANUFACTURE SUCCESS and thats EVIL#(despite it being smth i genuinely enjoy depicting bc its deeply cathartic#and also on some level i like the idea of depicting ocd in a way i dont see it depicted often...#AND i very genuinely think it fits ragatha)#which honestly its a really funny reason to start getting nervous about depicting characters having ocd#given uh. well. gestures LMAOOOO#ok goodnight. unless im lying and post again. but for now goodnight
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casey is obvs funny with this rivalry stuff because on the one hand he's very 'well I don't care who I beat' (lie) and 'I don't motivate myself using my rivals' (also a lie) and then he's also repeatedly emphasising that valentino was ONE of his biggest rivals and he only competed against him a few years... like a lil side quest in the story of his career. Those Few Years where valentino was his big rival. whereas dani and jorge were his cohort so he did compete with them for a greater span of time... and this is technically true and does MATTER but it is also extremely noticeable in his output which rivalry he has the most thoughts about. and yes casey would say that this is because everyone ELSE cares the most about That One Rivalry the most and also his opponent being an annoying dickhead means it's the one he has the most complaints about... but at a certain point, it doesn't really matter, because there's still one rivalry you're talking about way more than any other. you can tell that he's at least given jorge's interiority a bit of thought, kinda went 'well he was arrogant but also Learnt From The Error Of His Ways and was maybe misunderstood so' -- but also he's not going beyond that, he's not examining jorge's soul, and he's not even doing any of that with dani. it's very much a rhetorical commitment to those other two rivalries. ultimately the point is that he's doing what he can to not talk up his biggest rivalry TOO much, because, you see. he Did Not Care That Much. (lie.) now objectively speaking this kind of framing literally does not matter, who cares which one of these was the most meaningful rivalry, but it's interesting that it matters to him!! casey's problem is that he is extremely sensitive and cares deeply about what other people say about him, but one of the things he's most sensitive about is the idea that he could let himself be mentally affected by ANYTHING, worst of all his rivals. they cannot be granted that much power over him. and all of this has kinda funny consequences in that he has pretty rigid patterns in how he talks about this stuff that are at times quite convoluted because he has to simultaneously emphasise that a) none of his rivals massively mattered to him, b) That Rival didn't matter more than the others, c) what That Rival did to him was completely beyond the pale, and d) none of that affected him mentally whatsoever. at most one of these is true. there are so many things casey wants so badly not to care about but it keeps spilling out of him anyway, this oozing sludge of resentment and repressed hopes and desires and frustration and longing and bitterness. he keeps giving himself away... he cares so much and he can't stand it
#i do feel bad sometimes using a clip from when he was like. eighteen as my smoking gun piece of evidence for the prosecution#but come on. that valencia 2003 clip is insanely telling. like yeah right you loved beating a guy sponsored by the circuit#it's kinda like dyke!vale tormenting his first gp rival into throwing in the towel. those are the Key Character Traits they're exhibiting#//#brr brr#//ht#i do also think there's some interviews where there's like. some real retconning. like casey that was Not You#that one interview where he was going in HARD about how jorge/dani were confused about how happy he was for them winning#and like casey buddy there's an element of truth to but you could be a notoriously sore loser!! mr 'a podium this far off isn't worth it'#and it's partly stuff he's talked about before with how self-critical he was... but of COURSE it could come across as unpleasant#i am doing my best not to get repetitive so this is the LAST time i am airing this complaint for a couple months at least#but the problem is if you have the starting point of him as like. a straight talking straight shooter or whatever#you do automatically miss a lot of the nuance with which he's constructing his own image#it's honesty based on vibes rather than literal honesty. u can be blunt and calculating idk what to tell u#im so fascinated if the jorge wheelchair story is true... i recently remembered it was also in the broadbent book#and that ducati pr people had like. gotten mad about it. which does fill one or two gaps and makes me think maybe it DID happen#idk there's something quite revealing about it!! casey isn't just a dickhead in the classic athlete mould. he's got a *nastiness* to him#all the aliens are occupational dickheads. only two of them i'd say have a real inclination towards nastiness
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religion has saved me once again !!!
#'once again' referring to the time where i felt deeply connected to hellenic polytheism [#but didnt do anything about it#because i was a scared and confused child#and people in my life thinking religion is bad#and other personal stuff#hellenic polytheism is incredible and i love it#have been doing research since yesterday tbh so im very new to this haha#its scary but also so fucking incredible#i wanna make an altar for apollo at some point#and maybe aphrodite#i think im going to do some more research first tho#hellenic polytheism#greek mythology#apollo#aphrodite#☀️#🩷
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i do wish i was better at communicating with people online and through technology. i wander into conversations and make new ones all the time irl with random people and its fun but im like hyping myself to type out a single response to a Post. and to say nothing of how difficult it is to get me to say something in a discord server
#or even video or audio calls are becoming hard for me rn. i used to be better at this#i used to be sooo good at talking to people online. maybe. or maybe not actually#now that i think about it ive always been a little outside of everything in both irl and online communities ive been in#you know i was part of the mods for a deviantart species a long time ago. i was pretty bad at my job i was always too slow to actually mod#and one day i came home from school and like the entire modbase imploded because of drama on a discord or smth they had that i wasnt in LOL#tbh i was a bit older than all of them and busy with final year of highschool stuff so i wasnt super present. i think they just had me on#because while i wasnt particularly popular as an artist i did have some eyecatching polish on my art. but it was wild i was like#whats going on. who are you people. where am i. i have to apply to ouac rn i dont know whats happening#wait random ass deviantart drama i was vaguely adjacent to but still dont really know what happened aside. i would like to chat more#i think the easiest way to converse with me is commenting on my posts like theyre forum threads. or dming me. sometimes#im so bad with group chats. especially if they have multiple channels. the only group chat ive stuck with is a tiny one with like#two other friends and we just write thoughts and about our day and pictures of animals and whatever#i get confused and scared in discords. i get so confused and scared#i used to be okay with discord calls but even with that ive been struggling. am i scared of the computer#am i scared of the computer. the machine. whats happening
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okay but what if I turned what was supposed to be a quick fic surrounding *one* of Neve's case into a 2 part (maybe more???) fic with at least two other interconnected cases and also add a lil of slow burn. as a treat
#also some memory fuckery. as an extra treat for me#if i can figure out how to connect 2 of the cases in a way that makes plausible sense then maybe I'll post the first few chapters#idk how this will work bc i think some of the stuff im adding will be confusing until its explained much laterr. hmmm. much to think about#i know no writer is happy with their writing but it's been so long since I've written something i dont even know my voice anymore >:/
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Mayta Knight 26-28
26 - Dramatic



27 - Reading



28 - Arena

3 left!!
#text in notes !!#wow these are some of my favorites actually#mayta knight#yeah i make all my blorbos read warriors apparently#meta knight#Kirby#kirbyposting#my art or something have i forgotten to tag that lately#metadad#is bandana important enough to tag him here#bandana waddle dee#bandee#(i guess)#bla bla bla here goes my rant on character stuff ill save you the time#put that orb in situations#also does anyone wanna tell me what the right way to write díos mío is#idk if the accent marks are right so i tried to look it up and just confused myself way more than before because it seemed inconsistent#maybe im just a perfectionist idk
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It's so funny seeing pretty regular posts about trsmp because I missed when it started and just never bothered to get into it. Now that my brain has freed me from the height of my qsmp fixation I think I have a genuine outsiders perspective and it's hilarious.
To me, all the posts about trsmp are like "omg Peepee and Poopoo are finally happy but I just know that Weesnaw is gonna come in and ruin it. Plus now that Grunch is on yellow I hope we'll get more DortGrunch plotlines"
#my stuff#trsmp#to be clear this isnt hate im just amused by my own confusion#idk what the premise of trsmp is. i only recognize a handful of ppl on it#i am so glad everyone seems to be enjoying it. why does everyone have names like Poob#also i know ppl talk about red yellow and green like theyre teams?? maybe?? is there some other criteria?
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sky was transgender the other day
#i couldnt get a good pic of the pink clouds until i got on this ugly ass road lmfao#it came out yellow in the parking lot :(#man ToT i wish tumblr would just tell u straigjt up if someone has u blocked bc otherwise im sitting there thinking they deleted#im always confused when i get blocked by some random user ive barely interacted with at all bc i dont really Make Posts or anything on herw?#reblogger simulator#i wonder if maybe its bc of comments on other posts?#i think that tumblr should add an OPTIONAL feature where u write ur reasons for blocking someone in a textbox thingy and if u consent to see#ing it thats what it shows u when u try to visit their blog#IDEC IM JUST NOSYYYYYY I WANNA KNOWWWWWWW#alao i should be able to throw tomatos at posts and stuff#🕷️❣️
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rly thinking of buying a cheap digital camera so ill have a reason to go outside and take pics of random stuff.. i sometimes do it w my phone (typically pics of like, flowers on the street or interesting lighting or whatever) but it never looks good w a phone camera. and the cheaper digicams would prob have a quality reminiscent of the shitty little digicam i had as a kid and young teen which i used to take pictures around the neighborhood and whatnot, which is what im looking for more than Serious Photography
#97#a while ago for some reason i Really Wanted a like. good quality semipro camera?#like i had looked into it a good bit and talked about it w friends and asked my sister for recs#and i dont. remember or understand why i wanted that.#like for some reason i wanted to do proper photography? and im confused bc i have no emotional memory of wanting that#i wonder if another alter was around and was influencing me#cause thats usually the explanation for stuff like that when i cant remember the emotion of a memory#who was it.. has caravage ever expressed wanting to do photography? maybe it was pam who i think was around then
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abt me in short shrugs
im a multifandom girly 😼 and im a mexican artist who also is wanting to be a indie game developer and a writer idk
examples of my artttt::
name's Maria and ABOTHER SONIC(shadow) THW HEDGEHOG FAN BUT DAMN WE BALL
heree be all socials and stuff abou me ↑↑↑↑ im a beginner to all the social media stuff so i dont offer much pbooo
LOOKIN FORWARD TO HAVE FUN MAYBEEEee
I got big projects i want to do this yeaarr along with big artists and amazing ppl so yeah up to that!
THAS IT, GOOD DAY!!
im yuri pilled
#WOWOAS SHADOW THE HEDGEHOG WOADOW#new bhere i draw idk..whwo and i maybe some gameem#new here im scared but i want to explore cool stuff around this cool place#tumblr is confusing#I APOLOGIZE IF THIS IS UNPROFESSIONAL IM A VERY UNSERIOUS PERSON BYE
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i think i do want amy and rouge to be in the next sonic movie, especially if its gonna be an sa2 adaptation, but i cant help but worry that if they try to introduce shadow AND rouge AND amy in the same movie then at least one of those characters (most likely amy. tbh.) isnt gonna get the amount of screentime and development that they deserve. especially considering in the game timeline amy was introduced much earlier and by sa2 was already an established character while rouge and shadow were the newcomers. and then theres also the human characters who are gonna be making the cast a lot bigger than it was in the game so more people to divide the screentime among. like what if amy is in sonic 3 and she gets like 5 minutes of screentime and her big moment with shadow is given to another character again
#though i guess the sa2 based story being amy's introduction#could also open an opportunity for her to play a bigger role in the plot than she did in the original ... hmm....#ive seen some people suggest the idea of amy or rouge being introduced in the knuckles series but i dont think i want that either?#the knuckles series should act as something that adds to the experience but isnt necessary to understand the next movie#i know we're all extremely autistic about sonic here but try to think of it from the perspective of a casual viewer#if i were a casual viewer of a movie series and didnt actively keep up with news for it and didnt know about any spinoff stuff#and suddenly a new character who was introduced in secondary material shows up in the next movie#and the writing treats me as if im supposed to know who they are. i would find that confusing and annoying actually#also with the whole. big cast of characters making me worried that certain characters wont get as much screentime as they should thing#i know in sonic 2 their way of getting around this was like. putting the characters into groups and pairs#that they stick with for long portions of the movie instead of there being a bunch of solo scenes for each character#and the most plot relevant characters all kinda join up at the end and do stuff together#which i guess could probably work for sonic 3 . so maybe im worrying over nothing
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Id do anything just to get a glimpse of what you look like I can't stop thinking of you everyday just in the back of my head, you, just in there
I'm not gonna pretend this didn't make me feel some type of way honestly lmao
But gimme a hint heree, do you follow me? Are we mutuals?
Oh wait, more importantly. Age?
#im a curious person lol#but also if we have never chatted you dont even know what type of person i am so that confuses me tbh#(btw i didnt check but maybe i didn’t delete some outfit checks or stuff under the to delete later tag so idk look there lol)#anomnomnom#asksss
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thinking about demisexual/aspec amir so hard tonight. like im rotating it in my head. how amir talks about his dates being cuddle buddies... "all i wanna do is lay down and hug".... not knowing what frenching really is.... test results episode where jakes like "but you've never really..." (HOW DOES HE KNOW THIS BTW???) ... the undertones that amir's friendship with jake as it is is 100% fulfilling for him . . .. grh.gh...hg. as a demisexual person.... GOD...... GODDDDDDDD. . .. . im SO abnormal about it
#thinking about janda stuff .... like an AU where jake and amir do get together in some capacity#and jake kind of has an inkling about it... but hes also a little confused ... and they work through it together....#ourghhgghrh hgh rh ghr gh rh rhrh rh.h gh gh. ]herh tht#sorry. im just. im just. god. im just here sitting hiere .#am i projecting a little bit??? maybe. maybe so.#dont TOUCH me.#lfkmgdlfgkdfg#mirmir#jamir#thoughts within thoughts
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God thinking about the dlc, it was so good but I've got so many unanswered questions
#genuinely thought brair was gonna be evil. i mean the way she was drawn in that one promotional art work. maybe it was just a red herring#also. i feel like arven should of at least known that brair was poking around his mums stuff. like it feels a little insensitive#but then again idk if brair was aware of sadas passing. or if she knew it happened in area 0#though im pretty sure at one point kieran mentions she was looking through private stuff of sadas.#anyways idc if brairs not a villian. im just not fond of her#also what about that peach pokèmon found within the games files? wasnt it meant to be important to the lousy 3?#and kierans sudden change in behavior?#i have seen some people say that jts going to be a mythical mon. which is okay with me#anyways. i know it seems im complaining a lot . but the things i enjoy about the dlc vastly outwthe things that confused me#pokèmon#the indigo disk#pokemon dlc spoilers
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wednesday: me (punk jacket bascially consisting of patches only), my best friend (most normal-looking person ever with a flare for second-hand men's shirts) and another friend (metalhead but then a stylish red mullet and black leather jacket) just walking along
a group of weird-ass guys with no hobbies: YO THE EMO GANG
thursday: me (still punk like c'mon i'm waaaay too colourful for emo) and two literally just normal-ass looking guys just walking along the street
that same group of guys, most likely: OHH YOU'RE THE BIG HERO *something something* EMOS
literally i'm so confused?? one why do they feel the need to do that. two at least pick people who look like any alt style? like isn't it just embarrassing to call normal ass people emos for walking. like okay wednesday 2/3 looked alt but thurday? also why were they moaning. why do they think they're the hottest shit. why's the majority of (mostly cis boys but tbh it you get some from everyone) people my age so. unbearably stupid?
#the worst thing about puberty is evryone going fucking nuts#this refers to both my hormones and a solid 60% at least of people i interact with on the daily#theyre not funny. theyre offensive. they have no hobbies. they spout the stupidest shit ever#like maybe im also unfunny and say stupid stuff but at least i mind my own business#what is the appeal#THERE IS NO FUCKING REASON#THATS NOT EVEN SOME SICK ASS BURN YOURE JUST CONFUSING#im questioning if theyre human#like im mildly annoyed but not really bothered. im just. just. WHY#theyre calling random people emos and yell across the entire street. were making up a scifi world were longass stick through ur head are a#fashion trend and also the norm and think about possible consequences in architecture etc. we are not the same#a biscuit's rambles
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