#or maybe i shall do a reply

[welcometololaland]

some interesting thoughts here. now. I'm not saying you're incorrect, but some of these are...incorrect. sorry. it's either my opinion or you're wrong.

as a NON delena stan I appreciate your stance on Damon. DOES NO ONE REMEMBER HE KILLED JEREMY AND HE DIDNT KNOW HE WAS WEARING THE RING??? ALSO HE KILLED STEFAN'S BEST FRIEND?! how has anyone forgiven him for this??? I could NEVER. idk how stefan deals with him.

personally, I would have put girlboss Dakota higher. I feel like she could protect me. I'd just never make a mistake 😌😌😌😌 I'm known to be perfect. I didn't realise she was a literal child at this time. strike her from the hotness records.

Bella would go near last for me she's bloody irritating as would Dracula. sorry, I got no time for vampire sob stories if you're gonna try and eat me. I will say Gaz Olds looks even worse in his full Dracula make up so that's fair but like...out of the vamp make up I would 100% throw a leg over sorry.

blade seems extremely cool. I think he's right to be near the top. he's like the matrix but cooler. also he's half vampire, half vampire hunter. get you a man that can do both. correct to put him at the top of the hotness scale.

spike...well I haven't seen much buffy either but you need to see the spike sex scene if you haven't. hilarious watching.

never watched trueblood either but I see finance bro for Eric. I'd slip him on the list.

Laurent...he could drink my blood any day. don't care that he's lowkey evil (fuck james) he's SEXY.

as is daddy C. look...you're right about the turning but his intentions WERE good. also he isn't the biggest DILF we all know who that is 👀🔥 Billy I MEAN Charlie Swan.

count von count is a g. as someone who doesn't know how to count, he'd be at the top of my friendship list. need him.

STEFAN. my beloved. Paul Wesley was blindingly hot in this show and I would lick him if I could. absolutely stunning. idk what everyone sees in Damon, this is the man for me. for one, he doesn't wear weird fedoras everywhere like Ian Sommehalder, but that's just personal preference. Stefan could eat me alive I would thank him for it.

as for me...well. I'm honoured to be at the top of the friendship list and offended I was not on the hotness list. i should have doxxed myself on tumblr after all x

jen, i've been trying to think of something super unhinged for nice ask week and i haven't been able to think of anything. so here's my shit excuse for nice ask week and sorry that you might have to look some of these up. please rank these fictional vampires in order from least want to befriend to most want to befriend AND ALSO from not-est to hottest (others opinions are welcome - this is MY ask, MY rules - just kidding pls post this jen, i worked so hard on it):

1. count dracula, dracula (specifically, the 1992 adaptation of the novel in which gary oldman - admittedly, my older gentleman crush - plays dracula)

2. stefan salvatore, the vampire diaries

3. damon salvatore, the vampire diaries (had to ask for both brothers, come on)

4. laurent, twilight (u know i think he is a lil something something)

5. daddy cullen i mean carlisle cullen, twilight

6. dakota fanning looking extremely slay, twilight

7. spike, buffy the vampire slayer

8. count von count, seasame street

9. eric northman, true blood

10. bella swan, vampiric edition, twilight

11. blade, blade

12. me.

THANK YOU FOR COMING

hello, lola. first let me start by saying here is a different vampire ranking without a definition of best, just vibes (you create one vampire au and suddenly this is your whole life). I am not rereading it though, so no promises that I'm not about to contradict myself

I appreciate how hard you worked on asking this, so I hope you appreciate how hard I worked on answering it

Least want to befriend to most want to befriend:

damon - he seems like a walking red flag, he really does

2. dakota fanning - I respect a girlboss but I do think she would kill me after one wrong move. would constantly have a tummy ache, stressed to the max.

3. spike - I have never seen buffy, but google tells me he was a villain. have to play it safe here

4. bella - I'm so sorry bella but I think you would annoy me

5. blade - I really tried looking him up to give an honest friend ranking, but there were so many version?? is it a comic? a movie? a tv show? idk I got confused therefore he defaults to the middle of the list

6. laurent - one of the nicer members of his little posse (unlike that bitch james). might try to kill me but a good sob story would probably get me out of it

7. count dracula - i just read his backstory. that's so tragic, I think he could use a friend

8. carlisle - turning a bunch of teenagers into vampires when they were on their death bed is a little odd, but he had good intentions. and now look at the house he provides for them like I'll move in no questions asked

9. stefan - admittedly have only seen a few seasons of tvd, but he seems to have some kind of morals so that's always a good place to start for a friendship

10. eric - "calculating yet loyal and generally willing to absolve those that aggravate him, unless they have grievously crossed him. However, he is fiercely vindictive towards anyone who harms or threatens those he loves". thank you, trueblood.fandom.com. If I'm befriending all of these vampires, making him a top priority seems like a good choice

11. count von count - he has a cat. I'm using him and abusing our friendship for that. sorry count

12. lola - who shouldn't (?) be on this list (unless you have a secret to tell)

okay hotness below the cut because this is already too long

Least hot to most hot

1. dakota fanning (jane) - default to last because she is a child lmao

2. count von count - he is a cartoon (puppet? I don't know). I feel like there is only one right answer here and it is to put him in the second least hot position (unless that's your thing. you do you)

3. damon - this man creeps me out. I don't know if it's the eyes or what but again, bad vibes. stay away from her (elena), old man!

4. count dracula - willy wonka looking vampire. sorry to your older gentleman crush. you can keep him

5. eric northman - I do not know this man but he is giving 'just some guy' with a little bit of finance bro

6. bella - one too many awkward smiles while tucks her hair behind her ear moments, you know?

7. spike - cheek bones are cheek boning. some may say too much though. hair is giving 90s boy band. although for his time I can excuse it

8. carlisle cullen - not the biggest dilf in twilight, but an important one

9. laurent - unfortunate that you didn't pick the picture where he rolls up with his jacket undone and no shirt underneath. what an entrance. he also gets hotness points because laurent is a very good vampire name

10. stefan salvatore - the objectively better brother based on my limited knowledge. good picture. love a henley moment. look at those forearms.

11. blade - I don't know this man, but I would like to.

*you can't be ranked on the hotness scale because you did not provide a picture. sorry ;)

[ow1et]

i'll write something more in-depth later but just thinking about some plotlines that are always ongoing on this blog :

gotham's court trying to set up new facilities to make more talons, shipping in electrum, etc. and athene secretly sabotaging their attempts. she'll say it's because she's trying to save her own skin, but it's mainly because she despises how the talon program functions. the court has no knowledge that the saboteur they're hunting is within their own ranks.

athene's search for hidden pages of the historia strigidae in an attempt to learn the court's history and origins via a historical account.

in the same vein, athene hunting old court artifacts because she likes the history and the challenge. she can and will steal them.

the court "loaning" athene out to criminal organizations in an attempt to create alliances with them. while they previously would have never associated with criminals, the court finds it necessary in order to continue to maintain control of gotham. they fully intend on betraying their allies once they don't have any more use for them.

athene targeting and assassinating certain criminal allies of the court for crossing the line. only she knows the limits of what she can tolerate. others have tried to figure out logical reasoning behind who she chooses to target, but haven't succeeded as of yet. she's gotten caught and punished for it a handful of times, but overall she's good at hiding it from the court.

athene mapping out the court's many secret passageways, tunnels, and owl nests. partially a pet project, partially on orders from the court. after they fail to take the city, their underground facilities and most of the entrances to it are compromised for one reason or another, so attie is also looking for possible avenues for getting back into the cave system that the court previously used for their headquarters.

[hechose]

.

[tardis--dreams]

Last night i dreamt that the whole chat history between me and my most beloved ex-coworker had been deleted. Truly one of the most horrifying nightmares i've had in a while

[fandom-blackhole]

Rain

AN: Just a small-ish Obi-Wan x gn!Jedi!Reader thought thats been kinda haunting me for days that I finally decided to post. @obiknights you may like this :)

Summary: Reader stops to enjoy the weather while on a mission and forces Obi-Wan joins them. (Slightly angsty)

WC: 1.6k

Snow>>

Rain.....it was raining. 

You couldn't remember the last time you felt rain, since you smelled it. Coruscant's weather regulation kept the days a simple stable temperature year round. It was nice, it allowed for everyone of the city planet to not need to worry about things as simple as weather in their own chaotic lives, but now, now you couldn't help but pause as the first trickles of rain hit your face, running along the contours and leaving cool trails in their wake. 

It'd been a long day -long few years really- but in that moment, it was like your life let out a sigh, let itself relax for a moment and let all your worries wash away with the opening of the sky. In that moment all that mattered was the feeling of tiny droplets falling and wetting your exposed skin as you paused and lifted your face to the sky. 

You'd always liked the rain. For some reason when it rained life itself seemed to become quiet, the force around you always turning to peace, to serenity. You suppose the comfort may come from the fact that your home planet, or what little you remembered of it, had frequent seasons of storms and rains with large strikes of lightning and booms of thunder that you remembered scared you away to your parents' bed as a child. Even as a padawan, on missions with your master you always found yourself slowing to watch the rain, to enjoy the sight you so rarely got to indulge, an action your master was none too fond of but could never change. Of course with the war things changed, you didn't have time or the luxury to pause for the little things anymore, though you should be thankful that the council rarely sent you to planets that rained a lot allowing you to avoid your weakness towards the weather, but now as you felt your robes slowly soak in the wet droplets, and as they started to fall faster you realized just how much you have missed this, how it felt to have any semblance of peace, to have your mind and the force to just be quiet.

You soaked it in, enjoyed the feeling and let it take over all of you. You let the quiet feeling of the force wrap around you, blanketing you in the feeling. You suppose you allowed yourself to get too caught up in the feeling, but it was simply too addictive of a feeling to allow it to slip through your fingers, to not stop and allow it to be felt. 

You suppose all of this only transpired in a matter of moments, but to you it felt like slow motion as the stress of the war washed away in the music of the patter of raindrops falling upon the ground, but you suppose it was only a matter of time before you had to be pulled to the present once more, back to reality and back to the loud stressor of your everyday life where the force buzzed with anxious energy and wrapped you in a way that felt more like chains as the days passed. But what pulled you back was more of a warmth flickering in the force coming from a certain direction, a certain person.

"What in the name of the force are you doing, my friend?"

Opening your eyes at the amused, accented voice, you met the eyes of your mission partner, Master Obi-Wan Kenobi. The cerulean depths lit with amusement and curiosity.

"I am simply enjoying the weather," you replied, knowing full well that it was an answer that wouldn't satiate his curiosity, and you found yourself correct when he simply chuckled at your answer and shook his head. You watched him take a few steps closer to you, taking in the way he had wrapped himself in one of his long brown robes, hood pulled over his head in an attempt to stay as dry as possible in direct opposition to your own soaked state.

"This is not the weather most people would stop to enjoy."

You hummed and closed your eyes once more as you again tilted your head skyward. "For as long as we have known each other, Obi, when have I ever been like most people."

You heard a thoughtful hum of his own, and another burst of warmth from him through the force, you would say it was his affection slipping through, but you didn't want your heart to hope for the possibility, instead focusing on the sound of his voice. "Well never I suppose. I shouldn't be surprised that you still find ways to surprise me even after knowing you so well and for so long."

You smile at his words, knowing that if anyone in the galaxy knew you it was him, friends since the beginning of your journeys as jedi. A bond forming between the two of you that you hoped in your heart would never be broken, not knowing how you would survive without his light near you.

Both of you let the quiet weave itself between you, Obi-Wan not leaving even as his hood soaked with rain, staying by your side studying the peace that surrounded you. You yourself breath in the petrichor, grounding yourself before letting your eyes drift oppen and trail to Obi-Wan's once more.

Slowly, you lift your hands, pausing at his hood. He didn't stop you, but you didn't proceed either.

"Do you trust me?"

Obi-Wan takes a moment, his blue eyes dancing between your own as he smiles softly. 

"Darling, you are the one person in the galaxy I trust most." 

The warmth from before swells again, wamre this time, like standing before a burning hearth the one that holds the comfort of home. Your own affection swirls within your chest as you slip the hood from his head, his hair already damp from where his hood had already soaked through now wetting quickly with the falling rain. Unconsciously, you swipe a trail falling down his cheek, before letting your hands fall away.

"Just… stop…Let yourself feel. Let the rain wash everything away, if just for a moment. Let yourself enjoy the peace, the serenity that pauses when the rain falls."

Obi-Wan watches you as you speak, eyes flitting around your face before following your previous actions, slowly tilting his head up. You didn't need the force now to see the small points of relaxation across his body, his shoulders falling slightly, the subtle rise and fall of a deep breath, the ever present crease between his brows fading.

Tilting your head, you let your thoughts linger on the fact that at that moment he looks his age, the stress that usually ages him beyond his years falling away. You want nothing more than to reach out to him, but you still your hands and instead allow the soft smile on your face to grow wider.

"Do you feel it? How perfect it is?"

Obi-Wan opens his eyes, letting his eyes connect with your own as the warmth circling between the two of you turns to a burning blaze as he whispers, eyes still locked with your own, "Yes…yes, it is."

The rain then starts falling faster, the air around you becoming a haze. Now the two of both truly soaked through, but uncaring as you both watched the other, the heat flowing through the force and into your veins keeping the chill of the rain at bay. Your heart aches in the way you only let it in times of peace, only when he is around, your closest friend, the one person your heart and soul calls for, your Obi-Wan. 

This time it's him who reaches out, his eyes following the path of his fingers as they wipe away the droplets forming along your jawline, as you close your own in favor of leaving into his burning touch as your breath stutters from your parted lips. You don't open your eyes, only tilt your head towards his own consumed once more by a feeling and a touch, but now his. He whispers your name, the soft breath of it falling on your lips as his his distance lessens, his nose brushing against your own as the force wraps the two of you in a bubble of warmth and safety, no longer wrapping between the two of you as individuals, but together as a bond leaving you yearning softly, leaving you absorbed completely in the moment, in him.

It isn't until his lips just barely brush your own, not a kiss, just a slight touch from your proximity, that you pull back to the present, your senses coming back to you once more as you force yourself to pull away. Putting distance between the two of you once more with a shuddering breath, as your thoughts turn to both of your positions, the code, your standings as Jedi, just how forbidden your affections are.

Opening your eyes to look at Obi-Wan with a soft sadness, forcing a smile when you lock eyes.

"We mustn't linger….there are things we still have to do before we leave this planet," you say as you watch Obi-Wan push his own forced smile and nod.

"Yes, much to do, and never enough time to do it," he replies to you, turning to lead the way once more as you follow a few paces behind.

Rain, you loved for the peace and serenity it brought you, but now feeling the burning warmth in the force leave you, you found yourself loathing it for how easily it allowed your walls to be thrown down.

Snow>>

[flovverworks]

i need to write more silly opens. i need to add sakitty more to them in general.......

[lunarcry]

hiiiii muse page list update post i meant to do earlier but then i had icecream and did other things instead peace sign

this is for the full one on my page, srry i dont have it elsewhere/on my pinned yet. eventually. peace sign. as per always my multi is a billion times messier than my other blogs(guy who cant shut up)👍👍👍 atm the most proper writing will be happening on akira. probably

added general links of the gbf main story archive, and the a3 & prommy of wizard main story translations👍

on that note added sakuya & misumi (a3!) & chloe, figaro & mitile (promise of wizard) except figaro is mostly type0 verse & mitile will likely lean toward gbf au for a lil bit. thats not to say theyll stay this way (im about to reread+finish main story pt2), its just that i unfortunately am obsessed with type0. i will probably eventually put the rest of spring troupe on my 'wanna pick up' list....(person whos oshi is omi

on that note i should make a new type0 oc i need a silly class9 girlie SO bad. that was the foolery secret intel class right

i can not explain why type0 lives this much in my head

natsume (natsume yuujinchou) is on the list too now. lanna & lumina (island of happiness/a wonderful life) are there for now we'll see who else i add. none have descriptions yet, i know i have one for lanna & natsume from olds blogs but :[ i didnt wanna today

updated mika's (gbf) page with the text i wrote a while back, i'll revise it in the future. fenrir, morphe&phoebe, thelonim has events&fate eps linked on their pages now. emu has the official playlists of wxs main story & her first focus event added.

none of these links are meant in a 'check these', but rather, if you ever get interested in any of the media/characters, there's places to check. i should add the wxs digest anime to emus oh my god i forgot about that one

all the new charas are gonna take some months to be implemented properly...<3 i havent started rereading a3 still & i took a break from natsuyuu when my dog got surgery in february. they're there cuz i felt like updating the lists with links, and figured why not add the rest too. lots of descriptions are missing still. 'then why even add them' because faty was alrdy sending me stuff for figaro so why not actually put him on the list sunglass emoji

i added it on the muse page too, but if u dont know where to start then emu & fenrir are always good choices👍 once my emu break is over ill get back to all of that. phoebe is also a good choice thinking about it...

[amtrak12]

Things you're totally allowed to do: Express frustration with Chloe's response to Lucifer being the devil in my fic, especially when you couch it with 'this isn't a criticism of your fic. I was frustrated with the show too'

Things I don't recommend doing unless you're prepared for a 2000 word meta response: Expressing your frustration with Chloe's response (either in my fic or in canon) to Lucifer being the devil in my comment section where not only can I see it but I am expected to see and reply to it

[rosicheeks]

Send me a date (ex. June 1st 2022 or 6/1/2022 but just so you know I’m used to month/day/year) and I’ll post a picture I took that day 😌

[orcelito]

trans wolfwood is the only wolfwood. To Me.

[greghatecrimes]

i am having (very minor, outpatient) surgery in the morning and i’m Nervous about it but yknow what? at least it means i get the next three days off work and i can lay on my sofa, play Zelda, and watch a crap ton of House.

[devourmist]

// new mobile banner than i spent an unneccessarily long amount of time on. </3

[tscng]

(:

[pucksandpower]

So Good to Me

Charles Leclerc x Reader

Summary: Charles Leclerc is the perfect man for you … getting stopped on the street for a random TikTok challenge just serves to prove that even further

The warm Monaco sun beats down on you as you stroll leisurely along the bustling sidewalk, a canvas tote bag filled with fresh produce and flowers from the local farmer’s market hanging from your shoulder. The salty sea breeze wafts across your face, carrying with it the excited chatter and laughter of tourists admiring the luxurious yachts bobbing in Port Hercules.

You smile to yourself, relishing this perfect Mediterranean afternoon. Just a quick stop at home to drop off your purchases, and then maybe you’ll take a dip in the infinity pool on the terrace to cool off before Charles is done with-

“Excusez-moi, mademoiselle!” A young man’s voice breaks through your daydreaming. You glance over to see a twenty-something guy with a neatly trimmed beard, expensive-looking sunglasses, and a black t-shirt emblazoned with HUSTLE in white block letters. He’s holding a mini microphone and has his iPhone pointed at you, clearly filming.

A TikToker.

You sigh internally but force a polite smile.

“Oui, puis-je vous aider?” You reply in French.

“Ah sorry, I don’t speak much French! Do you speak English?” The TikToker asks eagerly in a British accent.

“Yes, I do. Can I help you with something?” You say, switching to English yourself. You just want to get home but you know these influencer types can be annoyingly persistent.

The TikToker grins. “Brilliant! I’m doing a social experiment for my followers. I was wondering — do you have a significant other? A boyfriend or husband perhaps?”

You raise an eyebrow questioningly but decide to humor him. “Um, yes, I have a boyfriend,” you answer simply.

His eyes light up. “Fantastic! And would you say your boyfriend loves you very much?”

You can’t help but chuckle at the boldness of this stranger’s line of questioning. “Yes, I would definitely say that. He loves me a lot,” you confirm, a soft smile playing on your lips as you think of Charles.

“Perfect! Okay, here’s the challenge,” the TikToker announces dramatically, staring intensely into his camera. “I want you to call up your boyfriend right now and ask him to send you some money. Doesn’t matter how much. But for every €100 he sends, I’ll give you €20 to keep for yourself. Let’s see how much he really loves you, shall we?”

You stare at this guy incredulously for a moment before bursting out laughing. Is he serious? He clearly has no idea who your boyfriend is. An amused smirk spreads across your face as you fish your iPhone out of your designer purse.

“Alright, you’re on,” you say confidently, already unlocking your phone and tapping on Charles’ contact. The TikToker looks surprised but excited that you actually agreed to his silly challenge.

“Put it on speaker phone,” he instructs, zooming his camera in on your phone screen which is now dialing Charles.

After a few rings, the warm, honey-smooth voice you adore comes through. “Allô mon amour, what’s up?” Charles greets you sweetly. “I’m just finishing up some simulator runs but I should be done soon to help with dinner.”

“Hey baby,” you reply, your voice automatically softening. “Sorry to bother you, I know you’re busy. But I’m out right now and I just passed by that little boutique near the casino, you know the one? And I saw the most incredible pair of shoes in the window. I swear they were calling my name.”

Charles laughs affectionately, the sound like music to your ears even through the cell phone speaker. “Oh yeah? The ones that were calling your name last week turned out to be, what was it, €900?” He teases.

You roll your eyes playfully even though he can’t see. “Okay, fair, but you know I hardly ever splurge on myself. I’m usually so frugal!”

“Mmhmm, whatever you need to tell yourself, chérie,” Charles says wryly and you can practically hear the smirk in his voice. “Let me guess, you need to go get these dream shoes right now? Or else they’ll haunt you forever?”

“You know me so well,” you gush dramatically. “I promise I’ll pay you back though! I get paid next week and-”

“Hey, hey, stop,” Charles cuts you off gently. “Mon cœur, you never have to pay me back, you know that. I love being able to treat you and spoil you. You deserve the world. Never forget that.”

You feel yourself melt at his earnest words, momentarily forgetting you have an audience. “I love you so much,” you murmur. “Thank you for always being so good to me.”

“Right back at you, ma belle. Je t’aime,” Charles says tenderly. “There, check your banking app. Let me know if you need any more. And have fun shopping! I’ll see you at home in a bit, okay? À bientôt!”

You glance down at your phone as a notification from your bank pops up on the screen. Your eyes widen slightly when you see the amount Charles sent over, but you recover quickly.

“Thank you, baby. See you soon!” You reply before hanging up. You turn back to the TikToker who is gaping at you in disbelief. Casually, you turn your phone screen towards him and his camera so he can clearly see the notification that €10,000 has just been deposited into your account.

The poor guy looks like he’s about to pass out from shock. He opens and closes his mouth a few times, rendered speechless. You just laugh good-naturedly.

“Well, guess I won your little challenge, huh?” You remark, slipping your phone back into your purse. “Tell you what, why don’t you donate whatever money you were going to give me to a local animal shelter instead? I think it’ll be put to much better use there.”

The TikToker finally manages to pick his jaw up off the floor. He laughs shakily and nods. “Yeah ... yeah I can do that. Wow. Um, thanks for being such a good sport about this. And congrats on, uh, winning, I guess?”

You give him a friendly wink. “Anytime. Have a nice rest of your day!” With that, you turn gracefully on your heel and continue on your way back home, feeling rather smug and deeply appreciative of your wonderfully generous boyfriend.

“Wait!” The TikToker calls out after you. You glance back over your shoulder curiously. He hesitates before asking in an awed voice, “If you don’t mind me asking ... who the hell is your boyfriend?”

An enigmatic smile plays on your lips. “No one special really,” you reply breezily. “Just a guy who loves driving fast cars.”

You leave the gaping TikToker in your wake as you saunter off, already daydreaming about showing your appreciation to Charles later for being the most incredible boyfriend imaginable.

Maybe you really will splurge on those designer shoes after all … and pick up a little something special from the lingerie boutique next door while you’re at it.

Your smile widens. Just as a little thank you to your man, of course. Life is good when you’re in love with Charles Leclerc.

[merakiui]

thing.

yandere!skully j. graves x (gender neutral) reader cw: yandere, unhealthy behaviors/relationship, stalking, fear/paranoia, brief mention and description of dead animals note - "he is there—and there again, but you cannot see him plain, for the shadow lies so darkly on the hill."

There is a bundle of black roses propped against your door. Thirteen of them, devoid of thorns, but the threat is still there—nestled within the petals, a foreboding symbolism.

A stupid Halloween prank, you think, gathering the roses and tossing them out.

Come tomorrow, there is a new bouquet waiting for you. These are white, but they have their thorns. A small card accompanies the gift. There’s a message printed in an old typewriter font: No good?

Like before, you discard these flowers. You have no time for secret admirers or daft nonsense.

So the roses stop blooming at your door, tied up with pretty twine and ribbons. Instead, you receive bones and carcasses. A mouse skull. Deer teeth. A mangled bird, its wings snapped and bent at the joints. A rabbit’s foot, warm and still bleeding, the bone jutting out from severed flesh. The roses, you think, were a preview of what was to come—of what you’d soon be mourning.

These macabre presents are wrapped sincerely, shrouded daintily with frilly cloth. They come with their own set of cards, each one typed just like before. 

I can see you.

Good luck on your exam today. Carry this rabbit’s foot with you and you shall know fortune.

This naughty bird is always cawing outside of your window. It wakes you up, so I silenced it for you. It is most beautiful in death, is it not?

Are you going to bring that friend of yours around again? I don’t quite like the scent they leave on your sheets. :(

So you share these morbid anecdotes with your friends over dinner. They don’t believe you.

“You’ve one persistent dog after you,” one of them remarks, eyeing the pictures with a curious, doubtful eye. “A real rotten mutt.”

“But I don’t have a dog,” you reply.

“Well, something’s coming home to you every night.”

“It’s just me. I live alone.”

“Do you? You sure nothing’s following you? You don’t hear the jingle of a collar? The soft padding of paws on tile, loyally trailing after its owner?”

At the time, you thought these were foolish questions.

“The flowers? Definitely a person,” your logical friend suggests. “The dead stuff? Probably a wild animal. A hawk once dropped a mouse in my yard. It’s normal. Someone’s just making a nasty time out of it, leaving those notes to scare you.”

That sounds reasonable. You choose to believe it even when there are inconsistencies and clues that prove otherwise.

You check the locks on your doors and windows. You consider buying cameras, but maybe that’s misplaced paranoia. No one’s inside your house. No person or thing could possibly get in. You’re not sure what would be worse: a tangible human being with human hair, human eyes, and human teeth, or a thing. A thing with claws and a razored maw. A thing with inhuman strength and the eerie quietness of a phantom, plucked right from your nightmares and dropped in reality.

A human being is tangible. A thing could be anything. It could also be nothing.

“I’m not interesting enough to have a stalker,” you tell your logical friend. “Not special enough or rich enough. Not attractive enough.”

“You don’t have to be,” they tell you. “Sometimes all you need to be is alone and vulnerable. Sometimes all you need to do is exist so that they have something to latch onto—something they can covet no matter what.”

“Do you think they’ll kill me?” you ask next, hesitating around that word. Kill. It’s so final and exact. “If they can do such gruesome things to those animals…”

“Or it could be a dog. Dogs don’t kill their owners. They’re loyal.”

“But it’s not a dog. I don’t even think this thing is domesticated.”

“Then what is it?”

“Something.”

It is something malevolent. It is something malicious. It is something you can’t quite fathom—something you can’t picture in your mind because it is always swapping shapes. One minute it’s a nest of mice dwelling within your walls. The next it’s a shadow creature—a demon or a monster. The next it’s a human with strange proportions, too-long legs and too-long arms and a too-long torso. The next it’s a dog with a long, long snout and very human eyes, with human hands for paws, with a curling smile that reveals gaps in its pointed, bloody maw. It feasts on flesh and hunts little, defenseless songbirds, and it’s after you because it wants something you can’t give it.

What does it want? Is this thing even real? Perhaps the anxiety is making a monster out of nothing.

You twist and turn in the dark, wrapped up in sheets that feel more itchy than they do comforting. You’re cold all over, sweating an ocean in your bed. You think your heart might burst out of your chest at any minute. Every creak and groan of the house unsettles nerves that are already pulled impossibly taut. You gaze into the dark doorway, squinting through shadows that look like they’re waltzing in and out of focus.

Or…

Is the door breathing? Is someone there?

You rub your eyes and relief filters in. There’s nothing.

Or…

Your phone cuts a slice of light through your bedroom. You shine it towards the door from where you cower on your bed. There’s nothing.

Your friend—the unfunny one—texts you then, and the vibration scares you more than your imagination. A text is tangible, easily categorized, and yet it’s the scariest thing you’ve just received at this moment, however ghoulishly playful it may be.

u need a leash for ur dog?

You drop your phone. It illuminates the space beneath your bed for a second before the screen shuts off.

You think you hear someone breathing or a heart beating. It’s yours.

Or…

Swallowing thickly, you reach for your phone. You feel soft, fluffy hair. At first, you think it really is a dog when a warm, wet tongue laves over your palm. But you don’t have a dog, and it’s then when you feel the rest of this…thing. Human ears. Human nose. Human mouth. Human teeth. 

Another text brightens your phone. The screen flickers on.

You peek over the edge of your mattress to find a distinctly human face smiling back at you.

might as well get a collar too yeah?

[majinbangus]

I’m now obsessed with dog!Simon, thank you for the nourishment for my enclosure. I shall now go feral /pos

i'm so glad you like the concept <3 》 18+

"I'm sorry... what?"

You stare blankly at Soap. He stares back, a tad reprimanding. Ghost hovers behind him, naked and expectant, raptorial smirk on his face. They've both blocked you in the bathroom.

Soap crosses his arms, looking a little disappointed in you. "When I got you your dog, I thought it was implied that you take care of him. That includes bathing him."

"But he's not really—"

"He can take care of himself most days, but he's still yours to take care of, sweetheart. He'll need at least one bath once a week. If you can't do that, we can't keep him."

There's a part of you that thinks that may be for the best—if that happens, maybe you can talk Soap into getting you an actual dog—but when you look over Soap's shoulder to eyeball Ghost, you can't help but feel a slight pang at the thought of losing him. Or perhaps that's just the thought of disappointing Soap and Ghost, and going back on the compromise. Whatever the reason, you can't bring yourself to get rid of him. He's here now, might as well keep him, right?

"I'll... take care of him." You finally say after a minute of contemplating, and Soap's face breaks out with a proud grin.

"I'll leave you to it then."

Without much else to say, Soap walks out of the bathroom, leaving you alone with Ghost. You shuffle nervously between your feet. "Uh, you can stay there. I'm gonna warm up the water for you."

He doesn't say anything as he watches you. Doesn't say anything at all, even when the water is ready and the tub is full, or when you stiffly guide him into the bath, stripping down to your underthings so you don't get your clothes wet. You sit on the tub's edge, cupping water into your hand and start rubbing along his shoulders and neck, and that's when he makes a small noise, groaning at the gentle touch of your fingers.

"That feels good, pet. Think I like it when you clean me."

"Anytime." The word is out before you can stop it. You start massaging your fingers into his scalp, getting his hair wet. "I mean, you know, I'll take care of you whenever you need it."

"And if I need this every night?"

Your fingers play with his hair and you stubbornly refuse to meet his gaze. You know he's looking at you. Daring you to look him in the eyes. To challenge him. You don't, instead—

"Then I'll give you this every night."

You roll over and show him your belly.

In your peripheral, you see him smirk. Faster than you can react, his hand darts out to grab your wrist. You don't try to fight it as he pulls your hand under the water, brushing your knuckles against the apex of his legs. There's a twitch as he wraps your fingers it. You slowly start to pump your hand and he gifts you with a deep groan.

"Don't I have an attentive master?" Ghost praises and you gulp, but fasten your pace.

Soap said it was your responsibility to take care of him, so that's exactly what you'll do.

-

When you've finally cleaned and dried both yourself and Ghost, you both wander back to the living room where Soap awaits, watching a movie. You go and join him, pecking his cheek when you sit down.

"Come, Ghost." You pat the spot next to you, and he obeys, pulling you into his lap once he gets on the couch. His hands wander shamelessly, catching Soap's attention.

"Good bath?" Soap asks knowingly, chuckling at your dazed expression.

"Uh-huh."

He chuckles at your simple reply and shifts to pat your head. "That's a good girl."