#or maybe i just need to stop feeling so attached to characters that aren't real
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just think that it's maybe like really kinda a tiny bit cruel that chloe and joyce don't get to be together no matter what ending
#like dawg#bay over bae chloe's dead#bae over bay joyce dies#WHAT THE FUCK MAN ππππ#can't have your cake and eat it too i get it but ill drink cement like#both endings are so gut wrenching in their own way#one just way more than the other#i kid you not bay over bae feels like grieving an actual person it worries me#or maybe i just need to stop feeling so attached to characters that aren't real#but where's the fun in that#chloe price#joyce price#life is strange#max caulfield#pricefield#bae over bay#4eva
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Okay I just watch digital circus because of your post and it was a blast and I love the character and the idea of a scenario came to me
Caine, Pomni, Jax, Ragatha, with an actor reader who loves to play into the adventures and play NPCs to set up the immersion maybe even write up some ideas for Adventures to make things more fun
Anyways have a great day night whatever and thanks for the fun writings
Thank you! Hope I did your ask justice!
Caine, Pomni, Jax and Ragatha x Reader who makes NPCs and writes
Caine
β
He really appreciates your help! It's hard work making up games for everyone to play while taking into account everyone's preferences. No matter how much you protest, he will use each and every idea you come up with.
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Caine sets up a little studio for you to work in. It's filled with paper, multiple typewriterband all sorts of art supplies. Maybe some clay for you to build some models of a character you want to create?
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You're NPCs are always great and often end up being a hit with the others. By that I mean the gang tolerates them more than his NPCs. You manage to give them more personally than he could have ever given.
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If you somehow get Zooble to join in the fun he will congratulate you for doing a good job. His hat is off to you, you did something he thought was impossible. Now only if you could get Zooble to stop trying to swear...
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I know the NPCs don't have any ai but Gooseworx confirmed that Bubble is a much simpler AI created by Caine. Therefore, he can theoretically make one of your characters come to life.
Pomni
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At first she thought that the characters you make were real people. Once you told her that they were nothing but glorified puppets she had to question the sentience of everyone she's met so far.
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You gotta make this girl a therapist. Aside from that it doesn't take her long to start asking questions about why you like to make different characters and stories.
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She's not as creative as you, doesn't really understand the appeal of creating something like you do. The most she can do is come up with a few names.
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Despite knowing that they aren't real people, Pomni still apologizes to the NPCs. It's force of habit. Maybe you could add some dialogue for if/when someone apologizes for something?
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If we're being completely honest, she doesn't really like any of the NPCs. It just feels wrong when she needs to talk to them for something. It's like speaking to one of those robotic pre-recorded messages over the phone.
Jax
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He's extra mean to the NPCs you make, just because he can. He knows that they can't get offended or upset but he doesn't care. They will be getting pushed into the mud.
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When you decide to scrap an old character he gladly helps. The moment you say you need to get rid of it he's reaching for the nearest baseball bat. No need to worry about cleaning up π
Jax when the NPC starts to annoy him
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Jax thinks it's funny when you get upset over him being mean to a NPC because you've grown attached to some of them.
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After that he asks you what you plan to make next. Can you blame him for being curious? Jax wants to know what you're planning before anyone else. Don't worry, he can keep a secret.
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As a "joke" he told you to try and make a NPC that Caine would need to heavily censor. Just to see what the ringmaster would do. Whatever you made that day was thrown into the cellar.
Ragatha
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She likes to watch you make different characters for certain situations. Caine wants to set up a fishing adventure? Best believe you are making an NPC who's a fisherman to set up the immersion.
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You might overwork yourself while trying to come up with a game for everyone to play. Ragatha sometimes needs to step in to tell you to take a break. There's no use overworking yourself, go take a break!
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She really wants everyone to have fun with the adventures you put together. There's no doubt that she loves them. Also she's the first person to yell at Jax for being mean to the NPCs.
#Caine#Pomni#Jax#Ragatha#the amazing digital circus#the amazing digital circus fandom#the amazing digital circus fanfiction#tadc#tadc x reader#tadc headcannons#tadc hc#tadc caine#tadc pomni#tadc jax#tadc ragatha#the amazing digital circus pomni#the amazing digital circus caine#the amazing digital jax#the amazing digital circus ragatha#caine x reader#pomni x reader#jax x reader#ragatha x reader#caine fanfiction#Caine headcannons#pomni headcannons#pomni#jax fanfiction#digital circus jax#the amazing digital circus jax
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Are you being completely truthful with your bio? You have a somewhat juvenile writing style even down to the β¨wordβ¨ and your writing reference for male arousal is strangely written and a little inaccurate. Your obsession with objectifying and writing porn of real life men with wives and families makes you look like either a really creepy adult, or a kid that doesnβt know any better. Do you think itβs ok for a straight man your age to objectify a female actress in this same way?
Not to mention your pinned is from 2020 so you would have been 16 when you made the account that says βminors do not interactβ in all caps
The mentions of collage are interesting as well, what the hell are you majoring in anyway? Did you forget to update your age and this is your last year? Or were you actually running an 18+ account while 16? And honestly Iβm assuming you were probably younger.
Your alias is S.
You go by sir and but you use very clichΓ© and juvenile language, βIβm more friendly than I look, I promise π
β βIβm a dyslexic fanfic writer *existencial sigh*β
itβs got the same vibe as, βheβs standing right behind me isnβt he π¬β
Just donβt lie about this shit when youβre writing porn. Youβre going to be prayed on. Just be safe with it and keep it on a private account.
I believe this ask and these following asks come from the same person or from affiliated people because they all were sent in around the same time and are all orbiting the same topics, so I'm looping them together:
"Hey man, how old are you exactly?"
"What r u studying? Writing I assume? But I feel like youβd be qualified to teach the class π"
"Are you planning on making an account solely for your art? Youβre incredibly skilled"
"Do the names cate and Lillian mean anything to you?"
"Cate?"
If they're not all the same person or a purposeful group of people talking about the same things, then I apologize to the people I've tacked on to discourse, lol.
Shorter asks first:
I'm in my twenties, and I'll explain the vagueness there in a hot second when I get to the longer, opening ask.
I'm actually studying art, not writing, lol. Writing is just a hobby for me. Thanks, regardless! I don't think I'd be very good at teaching, though π
My writing process is a mess, and I'm constantly breaking so, so many writing rules, lmao.
Thank you! No, I don't plan on making a separate art account for fandom or for my actual, non-sketch, finished-piece artwork. I mean, I have art accounts, but they're purposefully not attached to my Tumblr because art is a hobby right now, but I'm planning on making it into my profession.
No? Should they?
No? I'm so confused, lmao. Are you assuming you know who I am, and that's the motivation of the pointed questions? Assuming I'm Cate or Lillian? 'Cause I'm not. If they're people/characters related to the Marvel/Seb Stan/Chris Evans, then I feel like I need to warn you that I'm often fandom illiterate, lol. I don't actually watch TV/series/movies regularly, so... I'm oblivious to a lot.
Okay, on to the longer, opening ask that started this saga of asks.
First, I appreciate that you are trying to keep people out of harms way. I do. Yet, aren't there less accusatory ways to go about it? Absolutely, full stop, I do not want minors--no matter if they're 17, so close to 18 or whatever excuse they may make--in the parts of fandom that are not appropriate for them. No.
However, I, personally, don't think accusing someone of being something and talking down to them, picking apart each little thing about their online presence will do anything to anyone who is already engaging in shit that they should not be. Maybe that's just my hot take, though. I can't say I have the answer about how to eliminate minors who shouldn't be around these places on the internet, though. Unfortunately.
'Cause, yup! I'm being truthful.
Often, I am vague on purpose. I do that because, by the nature of what I get up to on the internet living in a society based so deeply in puritanical views, it's easy to have shit used against you in the professional world. But, whether I'm being vague with personal information like my age, name, location, etc. while getting hyperspecific with sexual shit, I'm still honest.
And I don't know if I need to specify this or not, but just in case I do, it says 20s with an s in my pinned post. Plural. As in 20-29, the range of being in my 20s. I'm in my 20s.
Yes, my pinned post is 4 years old at this point, so maybe I sound more juvenile in it because it's been four years since I wrote that. I have edited parts of it, but not everything. Also, yes, I was 18--closer to 19, but still 18, nevertheless--when I started my blog. So. More juvenile then, definitely. Hell, you're allowed to think I still sound juvenile, too. If you want. You're entitled to your own opinion. If you don't like the way I sound, though, just don't read my stuff. That's simple.
And it bleeds into the idea that I sound inaccurate. I am inaccurate sometimes. Definitely. Not everything I write could I replace myself with whatever character or person I'm writing about and feel like it is accurate to how I would feel or respond in that situation. But, the thing is, for me, that's the allure to porn. That's the whole thing. Porn is fantasy. The way I describe shit isn't literal all the time. It's about conveying feelings. It might not be your experience with feelings of arousal. Cool. Great! Differences are good. Feelings aren't objective. Again, if something about my writing makes you feel weird or feels too unrealistic to your experience, you don't have to read it.
As far as the ethics and nonethics of writing about real people, I've discussed that before (one, two, three), so I won't go into that now, but I would be interested to dig into your notion of how my actions may stack up comparatively to a straight man objectifying women.
I would call myself a feminist. I am always trying to learn more about how to be a better, more intersectional feminist. The swapping of me, a cis queer guy, sexualizing/objectifying other men with a cis straight man sexualizing/objectifying women does bring up very strong feelings in me. It does feel distinctly creepy to me. However, I can point directly to the reason why: it feels much more threatening for a man to talk about women like that. Obviously, not every man is terrible and means to threaten sexual violence to women, and women aren't delicate, helpless little things that must be protected at all costs. However, yeah, like you're getting at, it does feel different, and I have to sit with that to parse out why and what I want to do about it.
Interestingly, though, because of my experiences in the parts of the queer community I frequent, I feel relatively desensitized to mlm sexualization. Like, it's just part of it often, so much so that it goes unnoticed to me. Which, I can understand how people then pick up pitchforks and say no!! You can't do that! That's part of the problem! Or, why does everything have to be sexual with you!! But... that, to me, slides into the censoring, no-kink-at-pride type of discussion that I am not so interested in having at this juncture. There need to be spaces where children are welcome. Yes. There also need to be separate spaces where adults are allowed to be open and honest with all sorts of emotions, including the emotion of horny in a way that's safe and sane and consensual.
I will also note, because it feels worthy of mentioning here, that I have boundaries with sexualization. Real life and online life are different. I'm honest in both, but the rules and behavior are different, y'know? There's nuance to be had.
I don't talk outside of Tumblr the same way I do on Tumblr. Real life is very different to fandom etiquette. Which, I acknowledge that a lot of fandom--historically and presently--is women. Not totally, of course, but a good chunk. Women are objectified exhaustively in our society. So, personally, I feel that it is more than fair for them to then turn around and objective men some. Ever since getting into fandom, I've emulated that because it's the culture here. I've picked it up without really realizing it. Does that mean I feel like it's as fair for me, a man, to take up space in a traditionally women-populated area that's often described as a safe space and co-opt the slang? No. It's not really mine to adapt. Perhaps I should look into that deeper or acknowledge more than I do that I stand on borrowed ground.
Amongst that thought, though, is the realization that I don't talk the same offline because when I'm in the fandom space, I feel a little bit of my traditional socialization come undone. I'm a man. I was raised to crush down emotions and be strong and steady. Sure, I'm a 5'6" twink looking motherfucker, but I'm still a man, and still, strong emotions I might show in real life are met with confusion at best.
Strong emotions like anger or even noticeable, perky excitement when in public do not get a great response. Anger, understandably. I'm very aware of that. I'm not an angry guy, I grew up around a lot of angry people, I know it's frightening--especially when men get angry. I don't think I'm particularly threatening when I do get frustrated, but still, the few times I've been visibly upset like that around people in public, I can always feel women particularly shrinking away from me. It's just not acceptable. But, excitement. Even excitement or other positive emotions rouses discomfort from others in public.
If I express strong excitement or happiness to people who aren't my friends, people in public, I get reactions, too. Women tend to look at me strangely, as if there's something weird about me. That changes if I out myself to said women because it's more socially acceptable to be exciteable or positive if you're queer. Now, men brush me off in that situation. As a kid, that was not allowed because, what are you gay? Why? Why are you excited about anything? Pfft. That's for girls.
So, all is all to say, I don't talk the way I do on Tumblr. And perhaps that excitement/obvious horniness/whatever strong emotion that I do express on Tumblr comes across as juvenile or unmasculine to you. Maybe that's what you're picking up on with my apparently juvenile tone? I don't know.
That all sounds like I'm saying, poor me, it's so hard to be a man, feel bad for me, but what I'm doing is trying to explain where I'm coming from, why I express that way, and how it's different from my behavior in real life. You're still allowed to think I'm hypocritical and creepy, like I'm allowed to explain myself and do my own thing.
Again, I was 18 when I made my blog.
As for what I'm studying, I'm working toward an MFA right now. As it states in my pinned post, I'm dyslexic. Part of my journey in higher ed has been learning--trying to learn, at least, oof, it's not always going well--how to go easier on myself and not stress out over not being able to keep up all the time with my peers who aren't dyslexic. I'm trying not to feel dumber and feel like that's a terrible thing. So, I took a lighter class load when I got to college to go my own speed, I don't take summer classes, and then I fucked up shit with my transfer degree. Meaning, I'm a whole year, almost two, behind with the "average" track. That's why it feels like I'm stuck in college purgatory, lmao.
I use S because it relates vaguely to my real name, that's all.
I offer that people can use "sir" to refer to me because I, personally, like power dynamics in sex and my blog is about sex a lot. I don't feel like "daddy" fits me, sure, partly to do with my age, but really, daddy is a mindset, lol, and it strikes me as much more nurturing and romantic mindset/dynamic. I don't feel like that fits me. I like something stricter. I used to think I was a stone top, lol, and while I don't feel exactly like that anymore, I certainly don't feel as kinky-soft as "daddy".
Sure, that's maybe cliche to say. Cool. Personally, it doesn't strike me as juvenile, but clearly, it does to you, so... okay? I don't know what to do about that? It's just how I write.
Also, it's very amusing to me to accuse someone of lying while choosing to remain anonymous and disconnected from your own blog that, hopefully, contains your age/age range within it.
Reiterating: I think it's good that you want to keep minors out of the places they shouldn't be, I do. That's admirable. It's dangerous for the minors that do step foot in 18+ spaces as well as dangerous for well-meaning adults who unknowingly interact with minors masquerading as adults. But you're barking up the wrong tree.
You're welcome to say that writing this whole thing is defensive, clearly juvenile, and proves your point if you like. (Maybe, fine, I am a little offended to be told my smut sounds like a child wrote it because... yikes. So, I'm defending something there.) Still, I was interested in diving into some of the things you brought up 'cause I think about some of that a lot. Especially about my place in fandom as a guy. I try very hard not to be the creepy guy in the corner π¬
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I'm gonna say this and I know people aren't going to agree and that's okay
But I really don't like Mikasa's character. I think she had the potential to be really cool af, but the execution fell flat. I know she's written a little bit better in the Manga (still need to finish it) but here's why I don't like her and how I think it could have been changed.
I understand why she's so attached to Eren, but it's almost obsessive, and the way she treats him feels patronizing. She wants to look out for him because she loves him, but it's in a selfish way.
Examples: as a kid injuring him and then asking him if he still wants to join the Scouts, FORCING him to eat, carrying him away from fights, telling him to stop talking (tho indirectly) when talking about his more negative feelings (shown in s1 and s3).
My biggest pet peeve is the scene where he figures out the ODM gear and Mikasa is like "he's happy he doesn't have to leave me" which is NOT AT All what he was thinking but sure girl project your bs onto him
^ seriously none of that was okay. And yeah Eren had moments where he's rude to her or has hit her bc he didn't reciprocate her feelings. He was treating her like he'd treat anyone else.
Worse of all we never see get any real development. (Least not in the anime. Maybe the Manga does it better) she's still over protective to the point it's almost patronizing and outside of protecting him, she has zero ambitions for herself. You can't even say she let him go when she killed him bc even then she didn't move on!
Now what I would have liked to have seen- and I've seen some fan-work creators take this direction- is for them to have more of a sibling relationship.
Imagine this. Everything still happens mostly the same but her motivations are different. It's a found family/sibling sort of love. She wants to protect him bc he's like a little brother to her.
Because Carla begged her to look after him (which is canon)
And so her motivation for protecting him had been to bc of this. Bc Carla begged her, too. Because Eren is the only family she has left.
(And maybe dialing back some of her obsessive tendencies)
And had both gotten growth? Her learning she doesn't have to always look out for him. That he can take care of himself, and him understanding that she was only doing it bc they're the only family they have left and him accepting her as such?
There's also my personal issue that I don't see any build up or reciprocation on Eren's some until the very end so as you can guess I don't ship Eremika. Any defense you could have like him being protective of her or holding her hand he also does for Armin and Historia.
But people act like him not loving her back makes him a bad person or that he treated her bad for not feeling the same? Just because someone loves you doesn't mean you have to feel the same, no matter what they do for you. And I'm saying that as someone who's been on the other end of that! Also personally if someone treated me the way Mikasa treated Eren I'd personally consider her a bad friend. If I can't talk to you about my morbid and depressed thoughts why are we even friends?
Also, I'm not expecting anyone to agree. If you wanna have a calm conversation about it, I'm absolutely down, but don't come in my chats yelling.
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It is a little wild sometimes seeing Invincible the superhero series being written about as like... "new and innovative" or something... because I did absolutely read the comic in 2010, and there were multiple trade paperbacks at the time.
I mean, I know full well "I read the comic" is a useless phrase because The Boys is also coming out, and the comic for that is just as dated and I avoided it for the most part because I liked DC Comics and didn't want to read Ennis' unhinged gore porn. DC was going through its Dork Dark Age that needed commenting on that is fully lost in commentary now, I feel like a madman trying to explain that now that like... "I mean I think this is around the same time Teen Titans decided to bring back the Wonder Twins, Wendy and Marvin from the old cartoons, including their Wonder Dog, only it turns out the dog was a monster who ravaged and mauled them to a bloody mess. Marvin is killed on the panel, and Wendy is gravely injured and paralyzed from the waist down. She got an Oracle moment in a different book with a more optimistic tone, but that was far from the original intention, or the only Teen Titan killed in a gory and gratuitous way on the pages of Teen Titans. The comic most likely to be picked up by children because of brand identity."
I fully stopped reading DC Comics because of Lian Harper back in the day... like. Then they rebooted the universe so it fully didn't matter but like. It very much confuses me when I hear like... "it's so innovative to see superhero media where it's fucked up."
And like. Clearly, the only superhero media you are consuming is MCU movies or spinoffs. That's the shit that I was pretty sure these comics were commenting on. That's the hell Frank Miller built for us.
Injustice: Gods Among Us came out in 2013. How are we still acting like "Superman but bad" is the most shocking concept. Anthony Starr's acting is fucking stellar and I do enjoy most of Kripke's writing. I did my time in Superhell. But like... I mean the fact that the Seven are a Justice League parody and The Boys have to bed over backwards to try and parody Marvel is like... man, this was written when someone else was on top, and now modern audiences are mixing metaphors because the DC references just aren't relevant unless sexy Harley Quinn is in it.
I have a migraine and maybe no actual point... I don't want to return to the era of pointless gratuitous violence in comics. Like I said, it made me stop reading because any time I even started to get attached to a character, they were brutally murdered or went through something traumatic and changed or left or were sidelined or something. It was just... exhausting and stressful. And paying money to be stressed out and disappointed was like... not fun or interesting. I think a lot of The Boys fans are experiencing that with this most recent season, which feels authentic to the comic experience. (A season four event is very close to a real-life trauma for me, so I'm making a mental health decision to not watch it at the moment. But I am watching fans spiral into disappointed rage. It's interesting...)
Anyway, this has been a rant about Superheros that doesn't really go anywhere. I think I'm gonna go smoke a blunt for this migraine and the stress. I'd suggest people broaden their horizons since like... there's been grimdark superheroes forever, but it's like... it's a mostly miserable slog through various fluids and rushed art and bad plotlines that go nowhere. And most people probably got revealed to be sex pests at a minimum by now because the industry appears to be full of monsters... I'm very tired.
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3, 12, 26, 29.
Thank you for the ask. π
3. 3 films you could watch for the rest of your life and not get bored of?
Nightmare Before Christmas, Resident Evil Damnation, Batman: Under the Red Hood
12. whatβs some good advice you want to share?
Ain't good with this stuff I feel so yeah...But...Cling to what makes you happy and keeps ya going...Even if it's fiction, a character, or a harmless hobby/passion. Even if others might see it as nothing, pointless, silly, etc...
If it means lots to ya, makes ya happy and has great meaning to ya. Especially if it helps ya through the days and your life, especially during those dark times. Then that's all that matters in the end. Your happiness matters.
So cling to that and never let it go...but by some chance, you do lose it or it fades away(like love for a series/character/etc) naturally in time, or for other reasons...Look for another thing to make ya happy and keep ya going...Just don't stop seeking and clinging to things that keep ya living and help ya find a reason to smile and keep going...
(This especially goes for f/os, even if your mind screams at ya they aren't real and you're fucking alone and will never experience or feel real love/affection/etc. fuck that voice. if living in fantasy, with them, keeps ya going and makes ya happy. and it ain't harming anyone and stuff. then cling to those fictional loves of yours and let them shower you with the love, care and happiness you damn deserve...maybe i'm saying this more for myself but i'm sure someone might relate or need this too...)
26. fave colour and why?
Don't have just one but lately been very attached to purple...I don't recall exactly why but...I guess because of mystical reasons? I dunno...but it's pretty color and use it often now. lol
29. what do you do when youβre sad?
...Like to make me feel better?? Cope?? tbh not much helps i feel...once sadness(depression) hits, its like...being buried alive, or dragged down in the dark waters and I can't get out...So I just...ride it out...or wait it out until I finally am set free again from the suffering.
...If I do have the will to do something though in those rare times, than just feel so weak I can't move and crap...I try to watch some youtube videos of my favorite gamers or such...In hopes to get a good laugh from them. Laughter is the best medicine after all...that's what they say. Or play some video games...(speaking of which...want to buy RE2 remake that's on sale rn, might be a good distraction and pick me up but want to save money for future stuff too. lol hard to decide so still thinking about it)
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I'm just worried as a result of Bumblebee becoming canon; fans of the ship are going to ignore the issues with Adam's portrayal, the complaints from queer critics regarding the build up and the very bigoted company using the ship to handwave all of its bigotry. I don't think BB fans aren't allowed to be happy, hell I was pretty pleased with the confession scene. I really just the fandom could have an open discussion about the ship without it the compalints being seen as homophobia
Iβm not a fan of Bumblebee myself, in fact I donβt really ship any characters at all, because RWBY isnβt supposed to be about shipping at all! Weβre supposed to be overlooking a journey about saving the world, damn it!
You really just have to love that certain fans disregard the treatment of real-life LGBT+ folks by RT in favor of their ship becoming canon.
At the end of the day, I find that pathetic.
I also didnβt like the confession execution, because they were forced to say their feelings under pressure rather than a true confession where the parties in question didnβt feel pressured. Sorry, but I donβt like when people are forced to do things when they arenβt ready to handle the outcome. Been there, done that, not a fan of it.
Also just because someone criticizes an LGBT+ ship for aspects of the writing, itβs not homophobia. Maybe the execution development sucked. Maybe the characters themselves sucked or didnβt fit well together. This isnβt just for BB by the way. Itβs for every ship. Talking about elements of a ship you donβt like that has to do with an LGBT+ couple isnβt automatically homophobia. Itβs just criticism, and people need to learn that.
Also a note for in general, and nothing to you specifically, more of an audience awareness PSA: Putting all of your self worth into a fictional relationship and going rabid-feral when people donβt agree isnβt a healthy thing. You desperately need to evaluate how abrasive your shipping mentality effects you and your relationship with others; both on and off the internet. If something exists on the internet, some people arenβt going to like it. And yβknow what, big whoop!
Stop going after people not agreeing about a damn ship, because youβll either a) force people out of the fandom/media-space youβre in because youβre a toxic collective which will β> provide less of an audience for the media you consume which will β> lead to a loss of revenue and eventually cancel the show production or b) make the fandom split apart into smaller sects that either donβt interact or when they do, become knuckle-dragging troglodytes spewing death threats and doxxing each other that makes even wanting to dip a singular cell of your big toes skin to experience the fandom not worth it.
To get back to the Adam and Blake thing, we missed out on so much context and development for both Blake and Adam that wouldβve made their final confrontation more satisfying for the end of V5/6. Like yeah, sure itβs a βIβve changed now and all I see is a monsterβ, but personally, this isnβt an emotional payoff. Itβs a one-dimensional storytelling experience thatβs been done a billion and a half times. The characters donβt even have much of a connection anymore because Adam and Blake interacted for like, 2 minutes at Beacon during the fall, and then the confrontation leading to Adamβs death? Like, whereβs the payoff?
I donβt see it. Truly, I donβt. Both Adam and Blake had such disservices done to their characters by not providing neither context nor true attachment other than βbecause I said soβ. While yes, it is implied, we never explore the emotional nuances of their relationship. It couldβve paid off so much more if RWBY truly cared about the connections the main girls had.
- π
#snail speaks#rwde#βnonie time πΆοΈ#adam taurus#**emotional nuance isnβt a bad thing everyone!
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Hii, how are ya?about the recents ask on kirishima and as a formally mha manga fan well... it makes me really sad and reflexive to think about the wasted potential and the negative way bakugo affects other characters :/ if only bakugo had actually changed and develop at least the situation would be more understable. Anyways recently re reading the manga i just wanted to say all those ask bring really good points, yet im sorry as an still kiri fan these days and feeling attachment to him i don't completly agree and have to defend him a little </3 can't really speak about other mha media but in the manga at least more clearly in the beginning kirishima wasn't in my opinion the yes man to bkg or dormant to his bad attitude, maybe these instants aren't very significant but they are still there, calling out all might to stop the exercise saying bkg is crazy and wanted to kill izuku, calling a jerk when he turn the other students agains 1-A, telling him not to be rude to shinsou, calling him an idiot for going his own way in the license exam, like idk it's frustrating because back in the day it really seem their relationship was going to be significant and develop so much more, kamino was the first significant step towards a right direction, it had an emphaisis in the story but then..well nothing happened after that, and that's were the problem starts which was really sad cause at that time their bond(never ship them) seem very sweet to me, bkg was still an horrible person and needed to do so much more to improve but in these instants it seem he still kinda had a soft spot for someone and gave a little reciprocity or a "kind" action(giving kr money), encouragement(the rappa fight flasback)at least in "his way" it was the only positive thing he had going on for me and i think so much more had to have happened after all of this, but then hori seem to forget completely about these two so we just had to assume they were friends now because we were told so thought never actually really shown except for the few(i can testify to this) interactions they have which all can paint this bad image of kr's purpose just to be bkg cheerleader and remind us that he "changed".
Excuse my english and all this blabler that became this really long ass essay but just wanted to share this with u, can't really hold some things against kr cause i still love him from a far and i'm sad that his closeness to that gary stue harmed his potential and sweet character that he still is cause he's not the only one that suffer from this bkg influence(that still doesn't make this situation better) will still read and love fix it's were they show him directly confront bakugou and take real actions that make bkg really change, take responsibilty and atone for all he's done
You bring up a very good point and itβs that Ejiro wasnβt always Katsukiβs βyes manβ. Same thing with Denki. They vocalized disagreements with things Katsuki did. Sadly itβs once we hit the post-Sports Festival arc that the characters lose their sense of agency. Where they would normally voice their disagreement (even if it was brushed aside) became them supporting Katsuki every step of the way. Like Iβve said before Ejiro has some of the best writing in the series but itβs unfortunately sucked away by Katsuki the leech.
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prism rant
i'm so tired for the ofmd fandom on twitter, and maybe even here a little. the way a lot of the community consumes and responds to media is fucking weird. the way some people feel comfortable commenting literally anything in their weird little hearts is fucking weird. normally i love weird, but this is bad weird. i'm so tired of the way the majority consumes and engages with content.
i'm also tired of the way everything needs to fluffy and sexual. it's not lost on me that my most popular fic is the one with multiple sex scenes. and the number of comments and dms i get about the angst levels of my fics is ridiculous. i tag appropriately, that's all i can do for you. asking me to elaborate is essentially asking "is your stuff worth reading?" and oftentimes when i answer i'm given "oh maybe ill go read something else of yours then" BABY IT'S ALL SAD. THAT'S MY BRAND IS EXPLORING REAL SCENARIOS AND EMOTIONS. I'M TIRED OF BEING SORRY FOR THAT.
and i understand people are entitled for their own comfort levels, but don't bring me into it and tell me to my face you aren't going to read something. again, it's fucking weird.
there are also just times people comment things on my fics and i legitimately don't understand how something was so wrongly misinterpreted or misunderstood? like where the fuck did you get that? it's also my opinion that it's a bit rude to begin spitting ideas or theories at authors unsolicited. it can put a lot of pressure on them.
i also despise how there's a handful of authors that make fanfic and their fanon is taken as law. why the fuck are we doing that? why are we condemning all Sams bc a few are dicks? why are we treating all fanon characters the same? stop bringing your preconceived notions into other people's fics. and stop assuming everything is a reference to another fic. stop telling everyone 143 and 99. not everyone is reading PC and it's fucking WEIRD. i've had people explain to me that they've lost friends over fucking fanfics bc they said it wasn't for them. THAT'S IT. they didn't insult it or the author, just said "oh that's not for me."
i'm not saying there's a bit of a cult mentality brewing but i'm not NOT saying that. even the way they interact with their fav authors is weird, uncomfy, and often demanding and demeaning, forgetting there's a person attached to all of this.
like i know the adage 'touch some grass' is old or cringe or whatever but dude. go breathe some outside air. realize fanfic authors are not fucking celebrities. realize that you tagging rhys darby 3 times asking what his spotify wrapped was is fucking weird. like just.. calm down. take breaths. remember we're all on the same footing and shit. no one is better than anyone else in fandom. and give actors some peace.
i'll always be grateful for the ofmd fandom for letting me share my writing, supporting me, and being there for me when i finally put myself out there but i'm eager to move on and write for something else. i think i just like to consume media in a much more casual way? maybe i'm just old and bitchy. who knows. i'm just tired of all the drama, screaming at one another, worshipping authors, and demanding content.
as much as i love them, heraldry and elysium can't wrap up soon enough.
i love you guys, i do, and if we're moots or whatever this probably isn't about you.
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Dandadan episode 1. I dropped that series because of that almost-rape scene and how long it dragged on, while she was in her underwer the entire time, getting groped by aliens. It soured me so much, that halfway thru episode 2, I just couldn't stay interested. So I dropped the series.
But I couldn't get that damned good Creepy Nuts song out of my head and I do love stories that cross paranormal scifi with supernatural occult. So I gave the series another chance, and skipping to episode 2 really helped.
Not that there wasn't absolutely gorgeous, subtle animation and character work in episode 1. I love that scene when Ayase dusted off Okarun's magazine and apologized to him. And I think she's a really refreshing protagonist for a Shonen Jump (actually Shonen Jump+) series. And Okarun is endearing. I like this continuation of modern male protagonists/deuteragonists (Deku, Tanjiro, etc.) who aren't afraid to show emotional vulnerability, instead of just being "the cool guy" protagonist. (I love Ichigo and Yusuke, but emotional openness is a type of True Strength that I'm desperate to see finally get some representation, in the Shonen genre.)
And episodes 2-4 so far don't seem to be weird about their fanservice. I'm fine with granny's fanservice because it's so background and out of the way. The whole story, whole scenes don't stop for the camera to leer on her, with nothing else going on. Even in these recent years, where I thought I had gotten tired of anime fanservice (maybe all those years watching Harem anime finally got to me), I was surprised to find myself ok with granny being clearly eyecandy. So I guess the whole story not stopping to revolve around staring at her tits or up her skirt, are what I need to be ok with fanservice again.
I'm kind of glad, because I'm having fun with Dandadan now. And It's always nice to be into a series that's popular. There's more merch and more ubiquitous excitement to share. And so much, frequent promo art. That's usually fun. I'm not ready to buy Dandadan Nendoroids yet (if they ever get announced), but maybe by the time they get announced, maybe then I'll be attached enough to at least preorder one of its characters. Maybe? Or maybe just buy on sale, after release. I'm just glad to find a Shonen genre anime that I can enjoy again. Because, even though I got into Spy X Family and it is published by Shonen Jump+, it doesn't quite feel like a "Shonen anime". And despite how much it's been good for me to finally get out of the Shonen genre, I do miss stories about fighters, advocating for Fighting Spirit, and inspiring that Fighting Spirit in its audiences. Because I'm the audience, and I need that inspiration in my real life.
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So I knew from the moment this movie was announced that this wasn't going to be a remake of the original (which was then confirmed by the trailer). Which, to some extent was a good thing, because these guys aren't going to be Govinda/Amitabh. However, now that we've seen this - maybe that would've been more fun. Not that this is 'bad,' per se, but it's excitement factor really is not what you would expect for something of this scale, and with the names attached to this project.
It feels like every action movie nowadays has to be super grandiose - taking on the world, etc. It's the same trap that the MCU has sorta fallen into (Spider-Man movies aside), and even movies like Pathaan and Jawan have taken on this crazy approach. Maybe that's what makes movies like Mard Ko Dard Nahin Hota, or Thelma, or whatever, more fun - the small scale keeps things somewhat contained. Bollywood's love of "ex-soldier (or whatever) who feels slighted and decides that the answer is to destroy everything" is both too real (as we sit here on independence day) and like ... a lot. How does no one else have any other story?
Alaya F's intro/initial bits are super annoying - but, at least (I guess) not in the same way Tara Sutaria's character in Heropanti 2 was annoying. Also, thankfully, it also gets sorta toned down - though that maybe also just be because she disappears for half the movie. She, and Manushi Chhillar do get a couple of instances to be pretty badass - though, of course, most of that is saved for our heroes. They do thrown in the BMCM 'twist' of duplicates, though in a slightly weird way here - and definitely not with the fun that the duplicates brought in the original. Sonakshi Sinha shows up pretty much to play, or become, damsel in distress over and over again. Hell, in that final sequence, they keep cutting away from the action to focus on her for a second, as if to say "look at this drugged up/knocked out girl, not even waking up to help." It's ridiculous, made more-so by the fact that it isn't even leading to a moment where she does wake up and do anything during the fight sequence.
The bit where the movie names come from is ... well, meh. The songs are, quite honestly, trash - even the 'remix' of the title song (though saying that is an insult to all the remixes Bollywood has given us lately, and that's saying something cuz most of them have been downright bad) from the original, though the theme music that plays during many of the fight sequences is not bad. The whole 'literally pull a manual override switch' at the end is just dumb. The concept of putting so much power into the hands of one person, as our villain wanted to do when he on the correct side of that 'genius/psychopath' lines that he mentioned, is straight-up dumb.
The banter between our leads had its moments of fun, but beyond that, the movie just really meh'd along until is was over. I think Bollywood needs to tone down the grand scale of their movies (not necessarily the money that goes into them/the effects, but just how wide-reaching the villains always are). Why can't be just have the bad guy be someone within a town doing small-scale activities - whatever happened to that. Enough of evil politicians and traitors and terrorists and corrupt politicians - lets just go back to smaller-time criminals doing smaller-time things, please.
And for the love of god, please stop remixing the old songs into new trash.
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I posted 8,301 times in 2022
That's 1,361 more posts than 2021!
128 posts created (2%)
8,173 posts reblogged (98%)
Blogs I reblogged the most:
daz4i
tzila-opal
gothitelle-goddess
almightyrozenidiot
celamity
I tagged 4,028 of my posts in 2022
#p5 - 1,359 posts
#toh - 243 posts
#lgbt - 227 posts
#encanto - 188 posts
#oh fucking my damn - 168 posts
#spop - 154 posts
#star wars - 149 posts
#politics - 125 posts
#neurodivergence - 112 posts
#writing - 83 posts
Longest Tag: 136 characters
#not to take a shitpost seriously but its about the β¨ poetic downfall β¨ of being risen to his greatest heights by the person he abandoned
My Top Posts in 2022:
#5
I love how before everything with Shiho Joker can straight up say like "yeah I'm cool with murder tbh Kamoshida deserves it" and all Ryuji has to say is "FOR REAL?!" These idiots (affectionate).
45 notes - Posted February 7, 2022
#4
but fandoms are communities and fandoms are always defined by the worst people, even if it feels unfair. there's not any fan content or meta contradicting just evil akechi, its been years and this is what the fandom wants. that's what most people are saying. there's nothing making those people feel unwelcome in fandom, but they make others feel unwelcome.
Okay, I see what you're saying. But I dunno, maybe we're just in different sections of the fandom, but I haven't had the same experience as you. I've seen lots of fan content that favors a more balanced approach with Akechi and acknowledges both sides to his character. I've read popular fic with an interpretation similar to my own that gives Akechi a soft side while acknowledging his rough edges and giving him a place to belong with the Thieves and Akiren. That all exists. Maybe you just need to widen your scope a little, or find different people to hang out with?
I don't really care if people are going to "welcome" my interpretation of Akechi or not. I'm going to write meta about him and explain why he's special to me and what he means to me and I don't give a damn if sections of the fandom aren't happy with that.
I believe you may have left me another ask I left unanswered because I wasn't sure how to address it, but let me copy and paste some of what I left in the drafts.
Goro Akechi, and his dynamic with the P5 protagonist, are complex and dark and messy. Fan interpretations are going to allude to their past. Akechi literally tried to murder Akiren--their dynamic is inherently based on very dark concepts and incredibly complex and tragic emotions on both sides. Akechi himself is messed up. Heβs a murderer who tried to kill the one person he ever grew attached to and killed many just to get revenge on one man because his own hatred for his father twisted him to a point beyond recognition. Heβs desperate for belonging but he pushes away anyone once they get marginally close, and heβs not afraid to hurt people in the process.
If you have a problem with anything that alludes all of that, then I'm sorry to say you're just not going to like most of the content about Akechi. Fanart and fanfic are going to explore those aspects of his character.
That all said, Iβm sorry if youβve been made to feel unwelcome in the fandom. Use the block button--Iβve done that myself to someone who wouldnβt stop commenting on my posts about Akechi with blatant falsehoods about his character. And create your own experience. Iβve found lots of people who agree with me about Akechi and are creating content thatβs sympathetic toward him. Most of them happen to be Shuake/Akeshu shippers (like myself) from what Iβve seen but Iβm unsure if youβd be into that. (But for the record, itβs not all abusive.) You just gotta find the right people. Maybe you just havenβt found them yet.
48 notes - Posted January 24, 2022
#3
the parallel between belos killing untold numbers of palismen to survive hundreds of years and hunter's palisman willingly giving up his life to save hunter after belos nearly kills him. so good. chef's kiss. curled up on floor sobbing.
53 notes - Posted October 19, 2022
#2
unpopular opinion but i actually really like akechi's ugly ass black mask outfit; the stripes are iconic, it adds to his aesthetic of Absolute Cringelord Dumbass.
67 notes - Posted March 4, 2022
My #1 post of 2022
I'll see takes from time to time about people getting annoyed at the "uwu soft boy goro" interpretation of the character. This is nothing new, obviously, and setting aside that this ignores on-screen evidence, this interpretation completely misses a key aspect of his character and the game.
First of all, let me clarify: I agree Goro is a selfish person who does evil, even unforgivable things as the Black Mask.
But seeing Akechi's character as irredeemable or "outright evil" misses one of the key points to his character. Akechi is meant to represent what Joker could have become if he'd been alone. Not only that, but what any of the Thieves could have become if they'd been alone and let their hatred and trauma twist them into something vengeful and empty.
If Goro is just an inherently evil person then his character loses its power. He was a child and a victim and he did not have to become the person he did. All of the Thieves were capable of becoming like Goro had circumstance been different. He no longer serves his purpose in the narrative as Joker's antithesis if you take that part of his character away.
This means both that the Thieves have an inner dark side that could have gotten out of control had circumstances been different, and that Goro is capable, or at the very least was once capable, of being a good person. Goro is capable of Joker's goodness, just as Joker is capable of Goro's evil.
So yes. Goro is an assassin who has murdered many. And he is an uwu soft boi who deserved better.
133 notes - Posted January 14, 2022
Get your Tumblr 2022 Year in Review β
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Retroactively decided to put this under cut for length but basically it's not until dawn and despite having the same gameplay more or less, the same composer and a lot of the same systems and even the same theme song. The quarry has a large star cast of 18-20 year old characters and a creative in common so it's the proper successor and the anthology isn't(yes I'm still salty about how people act like nothing or nothing decent came out between those two games)
It's not until dawn and it's way too easy to act like nothing could ever reach the heights of that first thing that got them hooked, although I suspect they'd be saying all the same stuff about until dawn if it came out now
I mean that's why people act like the quarry is better despite having most of its features ripped out and plot issues so big you'd need a bridge to cross them, but it is superficially like until dawn so it must be better(that's basically what all the marketing said after all)
But I'll stop being mean to the quarry now, point is if they don't feel the exact same way they did in the mid 2010s then it must be bad
And let's be real Man of Medan, although I've grown a liking for it, stumbled in places due to the anthology originally having a shorter development cycle(I can't even imagine what it would have been like if they stuck to the six monthly release schedule) and it's probably the furthest from until dawn out of the four
Little hope has the tragic death of family, a woodsy setting, the mental health aspect
House of ashes has real monsters and shooting(I know that sounds awfully shallow but that really is what it came down to, I love this game for so much more but it only mattered to this crowd that it "has real monsters like until dawn")
The devil in me has saw traps and a masked killer, I often say it's like if until dawn committed the other way
The first thing I did when the Man of Medan announcement trailer dropped was look into what it was based on so I knew what to expect but I would agree it's no until dawn and unfortunately because of game order people refused to understand how massively different Man of Medan and Little Hope are and by the time house of ashes came out there was a commitment to being against the series, maybe if little hope and house of ashes were switched things may have been different but who knows
Also there's the fact that people who dislike these games usually don't take the time to replay them despite multiple povs effecting your understanding of the story being a thing the devs were very up front about and there for they miss a lot and so it must be bad, sometimes there really is a point to actually engaging with something as intended, I mean there are a lot of games that just aren't for me because I prefer single player and I understand that that's a me problem
So to wrap up this rambling since I periodically have to say it, I love until dawn, it holds up, it deserves all the praise it gets but I'm not attached to it being number one forever whilst as far as I can tell a lot of people want only the exact moment of until dawn and nothing else will ever be good enough
And also people refuse to acknowledge that the anthology just doesn't have the budget or scale of until dawn and hold it to an entirely unfair bar of that, again, the series is very honest about what it is and isn't and instead of judging the anthology for what it is they judge it for what it's not
The Dark Pictures Anthology is fucking good and I legitimately donβt understand why almost all the comments and streamers are so negative about it
#The dark pictures anthology#The quarry criticism#<really only as a point of comparison tho#I've gone from only liking 2 MoM characters to only disliking 1#This is why I prefer playthroughs by complete randoms. They don't have all that nostalgia baggage and interact with the games more honestly#That and I'm not invested in them if they start crapping on the game#It's wild that people call tdpa ugly and lifeless when my mum was blown away by how real it looks#Team tdpa
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The Enforcers Part 8 (Geto Suguru x Fem!Reader)
wc: 1.7k
tw: dark content (self-harm)
masterlist
a/n: By no means do I condone self-harm or want to glorify it in the light of this chapter. As a person who struggled with physical self-harm in her early teens, I know the destructive nature of this type of activity. However, as my characters are not perfect and complicated, I see this particular mode of action as something she would try to do in order to alleviate her pain and confusion. If you have questions or concerns, my inbox is always open to having a discussion about it.
If you so wish, you may skip this chapter altogether. There will be a recap on the next one if you choose to skip for your mental health. Take care of yourselves and see you soon. (ALSO, I know I promised smut but I gotta give y'all a raincheck this go-round. SORRY PLS DON'T KILL ME)
You're on your forty-seventh file of scandals, coverups, and secret dossiers that you finally feel it. The fabric of your identity begins to unravel right before your eyes.
Everything you've known is a lie.
The CSB has covered up so many things. So many lives lost. So many people forced to flee. So many families ripped apart--
An email makes its way over to the server, and you open it, the words across the screen coming from Suguru.
I know it's late, but send over Yu Haibara's files when you can.
You hit the reply button and begin to type out: "You mean the boy you killed?" but you stop yourself, deleting the words rapidly. Instead, you attach the files and send them over, not even bothering to look at them. You can't do it. Not another file could be stored away in the annals of your brain.
Nothing is as it seems anymore. The lies... they pile up in your mind, flooding the spaces where you used to hold what you thought was true, what you thought was real. Now, they're overflowing out of your brain and into your heart and soul, plaguing you like the nightmares that face you down night after night, more like demons that lurk in the corners of your mind than full file cabinets.
You always wake up in a tangle of sheets and sweat, one of your various enemies' faces hovering over you right before you stare down the barrel of a gun and --
You stumble out of the chair, eyes wet with tears, and go to the sink in the bathroom to wash your face. After you splash water on your skin, you look up at your reflection, anger rolling through you at the way you look. Weak.
You're fucking weak.
The voice in your head that usually told you that you were doing okay, that you had it all under control, is now turning on you, spitting nasty words that stick in between the synapses of your brain a muddy your rational thoughts.
The voices rise to a fever pitch, and you suddenly see red, the entirety of the world descending into blood-colored madness. The shattering of the glass mirror only becomes a reality when you're standing above the sink, chest heaving as your thoughts silence one by one, like shutting off lights in a house.
But only one stays behind as a shard of the mirror clinks into the sink.
Escape.
The light at the end of the tunnel.
You could get rid of the feelings here. You could get rid of the thoughts. You could escape. Why hadn't you thought about this before?
"Do it."
Your fingers grip the jagged shard of glass carefully, and before you can stop yourself, you drag it across the inside of your wrist, end to end, leaving behind a red line of blood that immediately blooms. Crimson dots drop into the sink, and you stare at the color, mesmerized by the way the blood runs down your arm and into the porcelain bowl. But there's no relief.
No sense of freedom.
Maybe you didn't do it hard enough?
Maybe you didn't--
The door to your room slams open, and you turn your head just as Suguru comes rushing into the bathroom. The shard of glass is still in your hand, as well as the blood running down your arm, and Suguru catches this immediately.
"Fuck," he breathes, and you turn to him, shard extended.
"Don't come any closer."
"Y/n," he calmly whispers. "You don't look so good."
"I wonder why that is," you reply, and Suguru stares back at you, hands raised in surrender.
"What're you doing?"
"What does it look like, Suguru?" you state in a trance. Your bullet wound begins to throb dully, but you ignore it, just like you're ignoring the blood dripping onto the tile flooring.
"Y/n, let's think about this."
"I don't want to think anymore!" The shrill scream is loud enough to make Suguru flinch, and you softly repeat, "I don't want to think anymore," over and over again as tears run down your face.
"I know," Suguru whispers. "I know. Will you let me help you?" You hiccup and drop the piece of glass to the floor, dissolving in a heap of tears and moans. You feel hands pulling you up from the floor and into strong arms, your head being cradled against a broad chest you've felt before. "Go ahead," Suguru encourages you. "Cry it out."
He carries you to another room in the building in silence, laying you on a firm bed and disappearing as you heave painful sobs into the sheets.
"Everything... hurts..." you gasp, and when Suguru reappears with a white bundle of cloth, a bandage roll, and some water, he nods.
"We're going to make it better, don't worry." He takes your injured arm and carefully wipes away the blood, examing the cut slowly. "Doesn't need stitches, thankfully." He turns to open the water bottle and hands it to you, silently telling you to drink while he bandages your wrist.
You drink the water greedily then lean back on the headboard, eyes closing down as Suguru works diligently on your wound. And then you remember the first time he did this for you and the mistake you made in your pridefulness.
"Thank you," you murmur, and Suguru looks up at your face, finally seeing some form of clarity cross your tear-streaked cheeks.
"You're welcome," he replies tenderly. "I have to keep you safe, remember? I promised you that I would." You don't answer him, but he finishes at that exact moment anyways, standing and placing the remnants of the bandage roll on the nightstand. The wound is now covered up completely, with no sign of blood seeping through the cotton and staining the white cloth dark red.
You watch as Suguru crawls into the bed beside you, sighing deeply as he runs his fingers through his locks. "Should I stay awake with you or do you want to try to sleep?"
"Sleep," you answer - albeit not confidently - and the black-eyed man obliges, pulling the thin sheet over you.
"I'll be right here," he affirms, but you reach out your uninjured arm and touch his hand. He instantly turns his palm up to let you grab his fingers, and you pull him closer to you in the king-sized bed.
"Hold me." A second passes with no movement, and Suguru whispers,
"Are you sure?" You nod, and he wordlessly scoots closer, wrapping an arm around you as you nestle into his side with your bandaged hand resting on his chest. His fingers rub a soft pattern up and down your skin, soothing you to the brink of sleep. "I've got you. We'll deal with everything else in the morning," Suguru murmurs as you slip off into a dreamless - and nightmare-less - sleep.
_____________________________________________________________
Morning comes and goes.
Midday arrives, and you awaken from your terrorless sleep still encased in Suguru's grasp. Your eyes flick up to his face, which is peaceful in the midday light streaming in from the windows. The Leader of the Fallen Sun District is asleep and dead to the world around him, but the sound of his breathing lets you know he's on the brink of waking up.
Part of you doesn't want him to. You want to lay there without any responsibilities to him, without any concern, or further harm to either one of you. Maybe if you continued to sleep, all of this would become a distant memory. All of this would go away, and you could go back to living in ignorance.
But Suguru's stirring makes you stiffen, and you feel his arms tighten around you before sliding away.
"You're awake."
"Yeah," you whisper, and he sits up, pulling his knees to his chest.
"We need to talk about last night." You sit up as well, staring at the edge of the bed blankly. "Why didn't you tell someone about your declining mental health?"
"I didn't realize it until it was too late," you admit, looking at the bandage on your wrist. "But I won't be doing that again."
"Doesn't matter," Suguru interjects, looking over at you. You choose to avoid his gaze and stare at your feet, inhaling deeply. "I have to have someone watch you now. I want you to be safe, and now I'm not sure if I can ensure that without some oversight on my part."
"No," you exhale quickly, looking over at him in fear. "I'm better now, I promise."
"I'll have someone move a few of your things over here. That way I can keep an eye on you, just in case." Suguru continues, standing from his position on the bed. "I won't bother you. But I made a promise to you, and I'm going to keep it at all costs." He turns back to you, stating, "Today we'll take a day off and go into the town. I've been wanting to show you around for a while anyway."
You conclude the argument is over when he places a kiss on your temple, then walks into his bathroom, shutting the door and leaving you on the bed alone.
_____________________________________________________________
A car picks both of you up from the building, and when you slide into the backseat, Suguru points to the expanse in the distance.
"Take us to the marketplace." The driver nods, scars running up and down his pale face and his blue eyes looking up at you in the rearview mirror. Does this man even know that he's sitting next to the leader of the Fallen Sun district? Or is Kenjaku a faceless man, hiding behind walls of ones and zeroes?
The scenes that pass by you look identical to those of the city you know and love. There are children playing on the sidewalks, people carrying groceries, life carrying on as if the majority of their names aren't on some rejected list of people who defected from their previous society. Suguru notices your awe at the way things are, and looks over at you, smiling brightly.
"You'd be surprised what you can build from ashes, y/n."
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My thoughts on Seabound!!! πππ (1/4)
SPOILERS ALERT!!!
Finally Nya's season! Our queen, our water goddess, our amazing girl gets what she deserves! πππ
What I know about the season beforehand is that Nya's powers apparently are getting problematic for some reasons? Which is a pretty common topic in other shows but it's a first in Ninjago, usually the elemental powers don't have focus and I LOVE that we now get to see stuff like that πππ
I know there should be Wojira involved, trusting The Island to deliver that little foreshadowing at the end of the episode π€·ββοΈ Also Maya is back... MAYA IS FINALLY BACK AFTER SEVEN SEASONS YES!!! πππ
I have nothing else to say, I have no idea what this will bring, hopefully something as good as Master of the Mountain! π€
Alright, here we go!
GENERAL THOUGHTS
Warning reader, I might be fangirling to an extreme because I love mah girl Nya and I've been wanting Kai and Nya's parents to be back ever since Hands of Time ended. So yeah... screaming alert π
At this point I don't doubt that the intro is great, we reached such a level of animation and we got The Fold ππ Love the marine vibe and how it's similar to The Island, because it's a great intro π
NOW I like the writing! Maybe they rushed the dialogue's quality for The Island to get here? It's just fun and in character, maybe it's just me but I'm enjoying it a lot for now
How many episodes are in this? Wiki says ten, then I checked again and it's sixteen like with Master of Mountain... eh, it looks good so far so it's fine whatever happens π€·ββοΈ
A BIG SPLASH
Oohhh, new villain! One that uses... flames... huh, does she know there's literally a master of fire in the ninja team? Eh whatever she looks cute, give it up for Miss Demeanor!! ππ
Wait... OMG IS THAT ERIN MATTHEWS??? WE GOT MACY!! β€β€β€
Whoa, we're finding out where did the order of the vengestone from season 13 come from?? YAS! CONTINUITY!
Yep, there it is, Nya lost control... her attacks look so cool π
Lol that kid trying to be a nindroid and Zane being offended οΏ½οΏ½οΏ½οΏ½π Sorry hun, you're that popular
Aaahhh, thank you Ninjago! You gave me back Nya the perfectionist π I was worried her reaction to her powers wasn't going to be in character but it looks fair so far. Brings me back to Possession, my favorite season πππ
WE GOT BACK THE FACT THAT SHE CAN MAKE IT RAIN!!! YAS!!! I might be easy to please but I love these details π€©
π€―π€―π€― Okay they are definitely going somewhere this time and I LOVE IT, because wow. WOW. Are we actually addressing the forever questioned fact that wind and water weren't elements that Chen needed at the Tournament? Are we giving a reason for them to exist outside the main set of elements and the elemental masters?? Duuuude, season 15 don't let me stop you, keep going π
Mm, so water and wind are connected to Wojira (now I see the connection with the special). Are we setting the ground for a new master of wind? ππ It's risky going for a Morro replacement but it's a super intriguing idea! Oooor Edgy Boy TM might come back? WHO KNOWS I'M CURIOUS ANYWAY π€©
Love how it is universal knowledge that Nya is super indipendent π
YES YES FINALLY WE'RE TALKING ABOUT MAYA!!! πππ Is it too much hoping into a Ray cameo as well?? Pleaaaase? Also addressing Krux after so many seasons, this feels exciting!! π
This is what I'm talking about, training, fighting scenes, show me everything that water goddess can do! πππ
Aaahhh, Nya flexing her mightiness through anger, just to remind us that she is the descendant of a water master as much as of a fire master π
YES YES YES YES IT'S HAPPENING FINALLY AFTER SEVEN SEASON THE FIRE WATER PARENTS ARE FINALLY BACK!!! π₯ππ₯ππ₯π I'M SO HAPPY I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR SO LONG!!! π
RAY IS THERE TOO HECK YES!!!! ππππππππ I shouldn't get this excited at only the first episode... WHO CARES RAY IS BAAAAACK!!! β€β€β€
Omg Maya is definitely different from what I expected, turns out Kai's enthusiasm came from her π
Oh look at my flame babe π
He's so happy his parents are here, he's a total family man β€β€β€
Nya is maaaaad... π
THERE SHE IS
WELCOME BACK JILLIAN I MISSED YOU πππ Would it be too much having a "Your voice sounds familiar" moment with Maya and Lloyd? π
I'm so stoked for this! I want all the interactions I've missed for all of this time, asap!! HECK yes!! ππππ
Oh, are we looking over the Miss Demeanor, vengestone situation? Mm... for now at least... WHO CARES FIRE WATER PARENTS!! π₯ππ₯ππ₯π
THE CALL OF THE DEEP
Imma just slow clap for The Fold because this is another amazing intro, one of those things in this show that stays awesome no matter what happens ππ
So Maya gave Nya her discipline and perfectionism, but not the passion behind it π I like this, it's not your conventional master of water, although I'd say it's different from the impression she gave me back in HoT. Maybe this is how she is when she's not trapped for fifty years? π
π
Is it too much asking for Kai and Ray bonding while the water women get the work done? π
π
Is this the sequel of Green Eggs and Ham?
Green Pancakes and Ham? π
Oh it's seaweed nevermind... at breakfast? I'm all for sushi rolls but this is a little π
Although since Maya missed their childhood she probably never cooked meals for them... how did I get myself sad π’
Whoa, Maya is a strict teacher! I got flashbacks from my first and only dance lesson, teachers nitpicking every single pose, uuurrrggg I feel ya waterlily π‘
Again, not a fan of Misako, but coming from her the whole speech about wanting to be there for her child makes a lot of sense
Yes. YES.
YEEEEESSSS KAI AND RAY FAMILY BONDING THIS IS EVERYTHING I'VE EVER WANTED I'M GETTING ALL OF MY WISHES GRANTED FOR THIS ONE β€π₯β€π₯β€π₯β€π₯β€π₯β€
AND MY FLAME BABE IS SO GLAD HE GOT HIS PARENTS!!! πππ
Lol with Kai's new hair they look even more related π€£
Ray also sounds so happy he gets to have his moment with his son π’ I feel so blessed in this moment π
Also this scene makes a lot of sense. Nya grew up to be indipendent, one that succeed in most of stuff without problems, she built her life without any help and doesn't look for it. Kai grew up more insecure, he got some walls up but loves to take care of others and be taken care of. With a childhood lost he looks forward to a bit of softness β€β€
Did Maya make real bacon for that sandwich? Do I smell some favoritism? π
Or maybe she really wants Nya to get onto the water mind setting idk π€·ββοΈ
Little tiny complain, why isn't Jay doing the fixing? Did he give up mechanics completely? It feels like we haven't seen him do tech stuff in so long, I miss techy boy in action π
And no, having to check on the bathroom doesn't count π
Aww robot date ππ€ππ€
AAAHH ROBOT DISASTER π±π±π± ZANE DANG IT YOU WERE DOING SO GOOD NOT TRYING TO DIE IN THE LAST TWO SEASONS!!
Oh that was weird, weird magic purple wave thingie?
I DID NOT ASK FOR A SEASON WITH A BEST GIRL AT THE EXPENCE OF ANOTHER BEST GIRL PIX DON'T YOU DARE DO THIS TO ME π±π±π±π±π±
"Well this is troubling." I love this samurai so freaking much πππ
GUYS THIS IS ONLY THE SECOND EPISODE, I'M A LITTLE SCARED NOW π’
Okay Nya admitting that something's wrong looking so apologetic, girl you don't need to do that you already own my heart π
Alright, I'm guessing this is Wojira's power or something, and they will have to go down below and find out why... just throwing this in, maybe Maya did something? Because she wanted to finally be with her family and needed an excuse? JUST A THEORY WITH NO BASE I REALLY HOPE I'M WRONG!!!
Okay, two episodes and I'm BEYOND engaged, let's keep it up! π
UNSINKABLE
Getting an idea how this episode might end already ππ
Look, I love best girl Pixal, but I'm kinda sad that she seems to be the only one tinkering at this point. Like, I saw Nya fix little stuff, while Jay dropped engineering altogether, I miss my engineers team π
Aww, the guys didn't want to crush Pixal's dream of an unsinkable boat π But honestly yeah, I agree with Cole, this might end badly π
π
Thank goodness
I was worried they forgot about Jaya β€πβ€π Jay is such a cutie omg
Nya: Mm, going on a potentially dangerous mission with unstable powers in the heart of my element or... mom's tofu pancakes... *yeets herself over the ship*
I'm making too many screenshots of the Smith family... WHO CARES THEY ARE BACK AND THEY ALL LOOK SO GOOD!!! ππππ
Aww Ray wants to play with his son and his friends so CUTE β€β€β€ Still can't believe they play Prime Empire after everything that went down ππ
Whoa whoa whoa, Kai and Cole are sitting this one out? That's actually interesting, I'm pretty sure I saw Cole's scuba suit in the sets though so I didn't expect it... lol it's actually kinda fair that the two that used to be afraid of water aren't going ππ
Bet Kai is happy to stay behind because he gets to spend time with his dad π
Also studying the fire elementals?? Uhm, yes please?? TELL ME EVERYTHING ABOUT MY FLAME BABE!!! ππππ
I'm sure this one scene...
... made so many lavashippers happy β€π€β€π€ Cole you got Ray's blessing
Ninja team acting cool while Jay is being Jay, it's how it always goes, it's the entire show's description and I absolutely love it π That wink though π
PIRATE ZANE IS BACK πππ Haven't seen him since Possession, and this time he's not even malfunctioning π Pixal is so done with his dorky boyfriend π
Of course Jay already has a ghost butler theory going on π
OF COURSE IT'S MAYA ππ
To be honest muffins would sold me too π
Not sure if she will make them out of tofu again though...
It's actually really interesting that we still haven't met the actual enemies, it does build up excitment! Very curious about these squid guys π
Well what do you know, the Unsinkable sank. Who would have thought?
... yeah same, sorry Pix π
FIVE THOUSANDS FATHOMS DOWN
Aaaahhh, Nya fixing stuff! That's more like it!! ππ
Oww, that one speech, I've been waiting for so long for that! Maya just wants to catch up with her daughter and it's not her fault she was separated from her children, but Nya did everything on her own with Kai. Only fair she isn't seeking for her help right now... still sad π’
Pff, with this ninja team there's not a moment of privacy ππ
Maya cleaning his future son-in-law's laundry what the HECK πππ To be fair Jay has a bit of a history of having to change underwears during sea travels π
Zane was attached to a battery? When?... are you talking about that one scene in Prime Empire? Cause that's not really a flashback I wanna ha- whoops never mind got the flashback π±
Maya looks more calm now, I think she's trying to act more reasonable and she's got good points π I know people were a little weirded out by how more cheerful she looks in comparison to Hands of Time, but I think she gets the most serious and rational when time needs. That's actually fascinating of her π€
CALLING OUT AN ATTEMPTED MURDER
THIS GIRL IS TOO GORGEOUS MY HEART CAN'T TAKE IT π€©π€©π€© Like my gosh that smirk, what the heck Pix πππ
Okay but Jay looking at Nya until the doors are completely closed?? CAN YOU FEEL MY JAYA HEART BEATING?? β€πβ€π
Whoa green gas I thought this was Nya's season π
MAYA WHY ARE YOU SAYING THIS STUFF YOU'RE SCARING ME π±π±π± I SWEAR LEGO IF YOU BROUGHT BACK WATER MOM JUST TO KILL HER OFF I'M GONNA SUE YOU πππ
I really REALLY like the atmosphere of the entrante of the temple! Super sealike and ancient! πππ
Maya: off we go, into the spooky old temple! (Why does it feel like something Kai would say? π)
Oh gee, someone sleeping in the deep, who could that be? Coff Wojira coff
Whoa the jellyfishes look pretty lifelike!
HERE HE COMES
WELCOME BACK GILES!!! ONCE AGAIN ON A LEGO SHOW I MISSED YOU SO MUCH YOU AND YOUR GODLIKE VOICE!!! ππππ Gosh he's a villain but he's got Clay's voice, how can I even try to hate him?? π
Alright, knocking down my water girls, that is pretty hateful material... BUT CLAAAYYY πππ
So they need the two amulets to wake up Wojira? Isn't one on the island? Fire dad and son coming to the rescue? WHO KNOWS BUT I'M ENJOYING THIS A LOT SO FAR KEEP GOING SEABOUND πππ
#ninjago#ninjago season 15#ninjago spoilers#ninjago seabound#ninjago nya#nya smith#ninjago kai#kai smith#ninjago jay#jay walker#ninjago cole#cole brookstone#ninjago zane#zane julien#ninjago pixal#pixal borg#ninjago maya#maya smith#ninjago ray#ray smith#spoilers#wojira#ninjago misako
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Taking a break.
So...this really hurts to say. So I think I should give some backstory first.
Hi. I'm Bex. And I have really severe and clinically diagnosed ADHD, along with multiple other mental illnesses. Now I don't want this to be taken out of context; I know there is a huge stigma around the statement "mental illness", which we as a society really need to work on. I of course don't mean this in a negative connotation, it's simply the best way to describe it. I am mentally ill. There's nothing inherently bad about that, but it poses more than a few issues.
The biggest one for me, personally, is hyperfixation(s). A hyperfixation, by definition, is "being completely immersed in something β whether it be a video game, movie/TV fandom culture or a hobby like crocheting." And I suffer from these hyperfixations a lot. I find a TV show, movie, book, whatever it is, and attach myself to a certain character. I can't prevent this, I can't help it, as much as I wish I could just watch something and then forget about it, I just...can't.
Now why is this a problem? Everyone has interests and things that they get hyped about for a while, so why should this be any different? Well the thing is, with me, these fixations can last much longer than neurotypical people's do. They can last for months, years at a time. I get so attached to a character and I hold onto that attachment until it's borderline obsession. This can get so bad that I will get physically ill, have panic attacks, go into complete mental breakdowns and depressive spirals, because it will suddenly without warning hit me that these people aren't real. See, I don't get fixated on real people or things; it's almost always fictional characters.
My most recent infatuation has been Miss Alma Peregrine. It started off as "Oh, she's hot. I should write fanfiction for her." And that was it. I was attracted to her and wanted to imagine being with her. But within the past few weeks, this interest has turned extremely dangerous. Sure, I'm not in any bodily danger, but when you're throwing up, hyperventilating to the point of fainting, and crying yourself to sleep nearly every night over a fictional woman, that's when I have to put my foot down. This is affecting my personal life, and with school having just started, I need to back down.
And it hurts like hell to have to post this, to have to step back from one of the only things that makes me happy, but if I don't then I'm afraid this will become too much to handle. Every song I hear makes me think of her, every time I see something pretty I think "Oh, Alma would love this," and it's hard to separate yourself from a fandom when everything makes you think of another scenario that you'll never be able to experience, and that hurts. It hurts so, so very much. And I know this will upset some of you, since I know that (and I'm not trying to be narcissistic) a whole lot of people really enjoy my writing, especially my Miss Peregrine stories.
Just the other day, I cried for most of the day over the fact that I'll never be able to meet her, never have her hold me and wipe my tears and tell me it'll all be okay. Because she isn't real. And sure, maybe shifting is real. Or maybe it isn't. I'm starting to think I imagined the whole thing, and that's affecting my mental health even more. It feels like I'm going crazy.
Like I said, this isn't something I can just stop, flip some switch in my brain and just forget about her. I wish like hell that I could, because that would make all of this so much easier. But that's not how ADHD and fixations work, no matter how much I and everyone else around me wants it to.
In conclusion, I'm going to be stopping my writing for Miss Peregrine, indefinitely. At least until I can get over her and stop my entire life from revolving around her and that universe. This doesn't mean I'm stopping writing for anyone, not at all. Unless, of course, this happens again with someone else. I'll be posting much less frequently, of course, what with school starting and all that, but I promise that you'll still get at least short imagines for other characters.
I'm sorry. I am truly sorry, from the bottom of my heart.
Please forgive me. I'm sorry.
#personal#ranting#venting#I wish I didn't have to post this#And I'm so sorry#But please understand this is for my own health and safety.#Please forgive me.
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