#or maybe I could write them myself Idk AAA
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Anyone who writes transmasc! Reader fanfics deserves a sweet kiss on the cheek
#literally starving for this content as a trans guy 😭#like there isn’t much male! Readers in general but specifically trans stuff is scarce#at least for the stuff I’ve been hyperfixating on like Billy the kid The Hunger Games and Bullet Train#if anyone found fics pls send them to me!!#or maybe I could write them myself Idk AAA#it’s just I don’t understand how to write x reader stuff#I’m more used to just make borderline self insert OCs lmao#okay tags lol#transmasc reader#ftm reader#transgender#fanfiction#x reader#SonnetZz-Warbles*ೃ༄🕊️
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Story time! The gathering. pt.2
I was angry, tense, I had all sorts of problems and maybe I slammed the glass on the counter too angrily because it was quite loud, but I didn't know what to do, I was so freaked out. Plus, I already had so much alcohol in me that I reacted much more sensitively. It seems long written down, but it happened in a few seconds and took place inside me, but I was listening with a thousand ears to see how R would react to this question. I will try to recall verbatim what he said: "I think it's nothing, she's a very nice woman, but she didn't manage to steal my heart."
Girls, I'm so stupid. I should have been happy about that at that moment, but all I could think about was that R could be stolen from me at any time. What's more it turned out during their conversation that the woman is 37 years old, so older than R! lol OKAY
This is where Soah got herself into a very uncomfortable situation. Yes, that's me! KILL ME I couldn't keep my mouth shut and specifically said this: "Why don't you date someone younger?" Of course, when I realized what I had said, I regretted it.😭😭 R immediately turned back to me and laughingly asked: "What do you mean?" and that's when I started to save what I could... I started to say something like "I mean, I don't interfere, it's just that a 37-year-old woman wants to start a family too quickly because of the biological clock ticking, etc" (that's all I remember, which was a meaningful sentence) lol 💀 You should have seen my blushing akward face while R just listened curiously to my monologue. I will never accept vodka from anyone again!!!😖 BRUHH
BUT then I was very surprised because I couldn't even finish my nonsense. R took my hand and said "Come dance with me" but I immediately stopped and told him that I can't dance. ????? AAA "Just follow my steps" - he said and started dancing with me to some old retro music, but it didn't really go well for me, although he spun me around twice and then he even danced with my father. (this was funny) this man knows how to kill me.😭
I'm actually glad that R brushed off my awkward speech and surprised me by asking me to dance. At least that way I didn't put myself in an even more unpleasant situation. Then of course, we were not only busy with each other, I will only describe those parts to you. So he wasn't just with me all night, he also talked a lot with other people and so did I. But I was brave enough to hug him and maybe I hugged him longer than I should have, but he didn't mind me hanging on him. And what is worth mentioning is that while I was hugging him, after a while he said: "You drank too much huh?" - he said while pinching my face, then I told him not to pinch me all the time and he pinched my face again. Sir...sir..
The problem girls is that I fell too much in love with him and I think he can see that too..(?) (maybe idk??) maybe He sees but does not push the boundaries, but I noticed that if I step and I approach he does not reject it and allows it... so idk So much has happened, but now I'm really going to stop girls, because I'm writing too much. These were the important ones and the ones I remember more precisely.
There were still a few things that happened between us that were inexplicable, but maybe I will share them later...
(I would also like to say that now that I have written this down, I am a little relieved that he is not going on another date with that woman and that he rejected her.)
#story time#tc community#teacher crush community#teacher crush#tc crush#male tc#teacher love#tc love#my tc#teacher x student#girlblogging#male teacher x female student#student x teacher#adult tc and adult student#male teacher#teacher attachment#male teacher crush#man crush forever#crush#hopelessly in love#in love#love#online diary#diary entry#dear diary#diary#journal#digital diary#my diary#just girly things
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911 s7 e7 thoughts
- eeek the promo is THE beginning
- oh my fucking god
- she’s so good at her job yall MADDIE BUCKLEY I LOVE YOU
- CHIM ??? GOT BLASTED
- BRUHH
- yall they got thrown back im scared
- no driver 😦
- this is so stressful lorddddd
- BUCK AND THE BABY
- ITS GONE 😦 OH NOOOO
- he took the baby didn’t he oh good LORD no no no
- HENREN HOUSE 🫶🏻🫶🏻
- mara :((
- i feel like she’s spoken to denny…
- OH SHE HAS ???
- she’s got a baby brother :((( she doesn’t know where she isss 😭
- EW EDISOL
- NOOO BONES
- CHRIS 💀💀💀
- “we could leave her now” good idea
- OH THIS WOMAN LOOKS LIKE SHANNON
- THE FLASHBACKKSSS
- HES SO :(((((
- “look like you’ve seen a ghost” girl you don’t even know
- (i missed a few minutes idk ???)
- hen and mara :((
- “sometimes nighttime is the hardest” real and true
- “denny’s nice” DENNY NATIONAL TREASURE
- she’s telling hen ohhh my heart
- ATHENA AND MADDIEEEEE (im gay for them)
- so the guy wasn’t her husband ??? oh my god
- maddie :(((
- “i assumed she was me” baby awwww
- wtf is hen wearing she ????
- “you are the system” the system sucks girlie
- awww she’s telling them where to find her brother aaaa
- MADDIE 🫶🏻
- the sceeenee the sneak peak scene !!!
- this scene is so sweet 🥹
- “idk why i just told you that” venting queen just like me
- HES SWEET OMG 🥹
- “we’re” she means businesss !!!
- EDDIES BACK AT THE SHOP PLEASEE WHY IS HE STALKING HER
- girlie what the fuck is wrong with him he’s so stupid
- this is crazy HES LOSING HIS MIND
- not a fucking candle
- “do you trust me” I AM SO CONFUSED SHES FLIRTING LMAO
- MORE FLASHBACKS
- not them flirting lmaooo
- “just me and my son, single dad” LMAO YESSS EXACTLY WHAT I WANT TO HEAR
- STOP I CANT HES SO AWKWARD
- good lord that’s a loud room of children
- their name stickers awww
- “we’re here to talk to you” that’s INSANE behaviour not going to lie
- tyson is so cute 🥹🥹
- maddie and that call :(( babyyy
- “it’s me you’re husband” THEYRE MARRIED YALL 🤭🤭🤭
- he’s so supportive 😭
- SHES AFRAID SHES GOING TO DIE i’m gonna end it all now maddie buckley you deserve nothing buck happiness
- ohhh she’s so smart omg
- she had a stalker OH MY GOD
- WHAT ????
- HES GOTTA STOP DOING THAT
- EDDIESHANNON FLASHBACK ??
- “about santa” LMAO
- OHH ITS THE AAAA 😭😭
- YALL HE LOVED HER SO MUCH
- NOT HIM IMAGINING THAT WHILE WITH HER IM CRYINGGG
- “i’m here” no you’re in fucking bed with shannon 💀💀💀
- they’re teaming uppp aaa
- “they’re hiding from him” OH MY GOD HE FOUND THEM
- IS THAT HIM AT RHE PARK
- creep what the fuck
- ew i fucking hate him
- “time to find a new mommy” i’m gonna kill him ???
- he’s so fucking creepy i hate it here
- maddie is so smart i caantttt
- oh he’s gone 🧍
- OH HE GETS HIT OMG
- THE 118 BAYBEEEE
- OMG BOBBY N BUCK HI HAVENT SEEN YOU SINCE THE BEGINNING HEYYY
- CHIM CAUGHT THE BABY
- BUCK TACKLED HIM LETS GOOO
- awww josh is so proud of herrr
- the girl :(((
- OH HE RECOGNISES BOBBY :((
- oh he doesn’t but he does ??
- “they’re bonding” karen is so me lmao
- she’s here with tyson 🥹🥹
- oh my gosshhh aaa
- OH THEYRE SO CUTE IM GONNA CRYYYY
- MARA AND TYSON 🥹🥹🥹
- babies :((((
- HI BUCK
- EDDIE AND CHRISSSS EEK
- “dad already ordered a pizza” where is his faith in buck
- buck throwing food at eddie lmaoo
- MADNEYYYYY 🫶🏻🫶🏻
- they’re so perfect aaaa
- JEEEE LITTLE PRINCESS 🥹
- the dreams hand they’re so cute oh im going to SOB
- JAW DROP
- WHAT THE HELL EDDIE
- EDDIES CHEATING ???
( i didn’t write down my reactions to e6 i filmed myself cause i was drunk sooo maybe ill put that in my notes at some point )
#911#buck 911#evan buck buckely#eddie diaz 911#buddie#eddie diaz#evan buckley#maddie buckley#911 maddie#911 athena#athena grant#athena grant nash#athena nash#bobby nash 911#henrietta wilson#hen wilson#911 hen#911 hen and karen#karen wilson#911 karen#911 chimney#chimney han
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haiii pookie snukums muah muah cherry pie :3 idk i just wanna give thoughts (and maybe recieve some from u too 👉👈) from the new trailer bc im bored and i feel like im being toasted alive... mainit
FREMI💀 no bc he looks like he can be blown away from a lil breeze. like a sneeze can turn him into dust💀 BUT BRO BLOCKED A WHOLE ASS HIT FROM ARLECCHINO WHILE ALSO HOLDING LIKE A 30 KILO CLAYMORE💥 HOW BUFF IS HEEEEE😭 (lyney at the side like a damsel)
speaking of lyney,,,,i saw somewhere, idk if its canon or not, but i read that lyney is canonically weak. not weak as in "cannot fight", more like, "brains over brawn" type of weak. his main strength comes from his big fat brain and i think thats hot (lyney as brains, thawed!mc as brawns. an unstoppable duo if i do say so myself)
Im just gonna say, arlecchino DID NOT MISS❗❗ when she chose lyney as the successor. bc think about it, the house's main objective is to adopt kids to make them into soldiers(or other stuff). so why are the children not doing anything about it? because they are blinded by father's "love". they've been provided a home and a family that they can love, ofc theyre going to do whatever they can to repay her kindness. i say "blinded by love" bc its most probably not genuine. arlecchino will only do things if it benefits her. so, in short, the children are being decieved into loyalty and submission.
and what is one of lyney's biggest/ most prominent trait? being able to decieve others very easily. he's a magician ffs😭😭 (this is probably why thawed!mc is hesitant/ doesnt believe him whenever he does something bc she knows that its probably not genuine. and bc of this, they're both miserable.💀)
like, he may not be physically strong, but that brain and charisma can bring you to your end in a snap. and that hot.
i only heard childe's voice but i feel like he's important to the lore. my manz been to 3 countries, and hes hasnt retrieve a single (1) gnosis😭 pack up boy ur no harbinger all u do is look pretty and get your ass handed to u THRICE😭 (i love him tho muah)
WIDNTRACE omg windtrce FINALLYY😭😭uueuedhhsuwh
ur so cool bc i just saw the ask asking if theres thawed update tmrw, and ur gonna do RESEARCH???? this is why i love u. marry me. pookie idc how long it takes, everything u write is so delicious. quality over quantity is so real ily. and i dont want thawed to end so soon....
i think thats all of my brain barf today. congrats again on 5k!!! ily muah♥️
HI AKAAGIIIII i did. i did see. i watched it from zy0xs livestream. first of all, ARLECCHINO IS SOOO COOL her presence… unmatched….. the lore ?! im so excited as a player and as a thawed writer!!!!
I KNOW FREMINET WAS INSANE THERE HAHAHAH the way he didnt fall back.. King. king behavior. LYNEY TOOOO HELLOOO THE LORE BOMBBB the throwback to him being chosen as the next King AAAAAA my brain was going overdrive (thawed!mc being brawns shes so stupid i love her)
and yes!! your thoughts on lyney and arlecchino are so true. arlecchino picking lyney makes sense in her perspective but the fact that lyney doesnt want to do it says so much about his character! lyney is such a well written character im so in love
i was so surprised to hear childes voice i was like oh gosh the thawed is writing itself?????
AND YESSS RESEARCH AAA i rlly rlly want to wait and see what the House lore is all about before i write thawed because i think i could really use it. not only for ideas but for keeping it feel like it could easily be an actual genshin quest.. TY AHAHHAA ILY TOO we shall have a spring wedding, like taht post about artists asking permission to draw fanart from writers (thats me)
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1, 7, 12, 17 for Ms Athena Cykes since she’s your current icon?
Athena my beloved aaa I love talking about her any chance I get hehe putting this under a read more bc it’s gonna get LONG
1. Why I like her: so so many reasons. Where do I even start lol um I’ll start w just her personality!!! Ace attorney has a lot of characters in the “peppy happy girl” category but Athena has always stood out to me because of her unique quirks and how well she bounces off any and every other character!! Her dynamics w other characters (esp Simon and Apollo) are always really really good, and I think she’s a really strong character that a lot of ppl overlook due to not liking aa5 as much as other games (which, btw, I’ve never seen anyone fault athena for, it’s usually the cases themselves and the handling of Phoenix and maybe Apollo they don’t like but notice how athena is like never complained about in terms of writing quality, at least from what I see lol). She feels cartoony and realistic at the same time, which is hard to achieve but is also exactly what aa protags need!! Her trauma and trauma responses are compelling for the mystery aspect of her story while also being compelling just in general, which isn’t always the case in these sorts of games, and I just really like how she’s written overall.
And ofc I have to mention I just have a really personal connection with her. As an autistic person w adhd I saw myself in her more than in p much any other character, but whereas when I first got into ace attorney I was gloomy and grumpy Athena was so energetic and so dedicated to helping ppl that I just really looked up to her, and even now I consider her to be like almost a role model in some sense?? And her being into psych pushed me more into psych than I already was and is probably part of what has led me to where I am now— graduating with a psych degree this year and going on to pursue grad school and a career in mental health counseling. Athena just makes me so happy and she’s so good at helping people despite and even because of her (probable) autism and I wanna be able to make people happy and help them too yknow???
7. Something the fandom does w her that I like: tbh not a ton lol, but I always appreciate when people see how she can very easily be interpreted as autistic and they work that into fan content!! I also appreciate the calls for an athena centric game, as I think she was very strong in aa5 but needs a little bit more. I truly think she could be like THE strongest written female character I’ve ever seen if she got just another bit of an arc and capcom doesn’t mess it up lol. I actually have faith in capcom tho, ik that’s a bit uncommon but if tgaa is any example of the sorta writing they can do i have faith.
12. A headcanon— besides the obvious and like basically implied neurodivergencey, I like to think she likes animals, specifically more uncommon ones!!! I think she should have a pet, maybe some sort of reptile or bird. Simon has a bird, maybe she gets one too lol. I like sun conures a lot and they do have athena vibes tbh
17. A ship with her I’m fine with/don’t hate but also isn’t my favorite: hmm well by now you probably know I’m a big justicykes fan but other than that I don’t ship her too hard w anyone??? I guess after justicykes I’d say her and pearl might be my next choice, it’s a rare one but I think they could be cute!! But since I lean towards liking that one instead of being neutral, I suppose the true answer to this question would be junithena. I’m like. Entirely neutral on it lol. I think they’re real fun as friends but I just never saw the romantic spark everyone else seems to see??? Who knows tho, maybe when me and my gf play aa5 together I’ll see it. A lot of the fan art is super cute but I just never really got the romance vibe w them idk
#thank you for asking lol I almost never get asks in ask games and talking about athena specifically makes me SO happy#athena cykes#ace attorney#ask game
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Okay so my general mru timetravel saga phase thing. + how I’m doing the YA.
Since I think focusing on timetravel instead of the multiverse would have been a better next saga since timetravel was set up formerly.
Also, champions and Runaways will likely feature but I need to defamiliarise myself with the comics to feel more comfortable deciding on HOW. But I’ll get to it, just not in this post.
(Ramble below the cut)
First Phase:
I would make the first phase AFTER endgame extremely chill. More grounded, focus on a smaller group of heroes and the affects of the snap. TFATWS would be my preferred first project but obviously could change when I go to write it. Maybe seven projects in all? Keep it small. Six main solo projects, an avengers team up. I want to make it clear that things aren’t running as smoothly as they could be post-Thanos, there’s a lot of tension, the team isn’t quite… teaming.
Steve shows up as cameos in TFATWS and the avengers teamup, but not to take away from the focus of Sam being the new Cap. He’s more of an… advisor. He has experience, but that’s all he’s got to offer. He’s done with the fight. I don’t think he should’ve died in endgame personally bc I think people need a main avengers to continue showing up to really keep their investment until another character proves worthy enough for focus.
Eli is the first Young Avenger to be included, which would make a whole ‘oooo Young avengers maybe??’ But he’s played off like a cameo that’s there because Isaiah is there, no need to rush into the YA.
Kamala is also showing up. Ms Marvel wouldn’t be a MAIN solo project and would be kind of hinted to be disconnected until Carol shows up in the last episode.
There will also probably be a Hawkeye series but I don’t want any of the YA to be heroes before the YA. So Kate will likely cameo but I don’t want her to be a Hawkeye yet. That’s YA stuff. It can wait.
Second Phase:
A little more funky now. The Marvels is a good guide to take for the balance of funky and grounded. Sure it’s in space but it’s a pretty typical movie, nothing too big. Of course, the marvels = Teddy introduction. I’ve not watched the movie yet (literally on the way there now) so I can’t promise how I’ll introduce him, but it’ll probably be a small ‘cameo type’ thing.
The phase starts on a lighter note but slowly degrades, the avengers are slipping apart. It ends on a Loki s1.
Introduction of Kid Loki also. And I’ll probably do Sylvie differently. But with the demolition of the sacred timeline, there comes chaos in the storyline.
Introduction of the champions might occur here, whilst things are still light and dandy. Depends on what I can swing.
Third Phase:
House of M. Wandavision, obviously, introduces the Twins. They’ll probably remain toddlers though, to keep them little and cute, plus terrible twos + superpowers would make it obvious she’s crazy when she CHOSE that. They’re the two YA introduced this phase, no America until the multiverse unfortunately.
The avengers are slowly falling apart even further, Loki s2, and then, bosh, kangs. Not THE Kang, though. Other kangs. Fighting aaa. Some avengers probably die, Scott definitely does. They win and have to fight THE Kang, don’t win, Kang escapes.
Idk how to explain my idea for that film considering I haven’t properly planned it. But, basic idea is that he WILL come back.
Phase four:
No avengers. They fell apart, like they did for infinity war. If things like this keep happening, there’s no point anymore. Womp womp everything sucks. Some people, like Sam, are trying to keep everyone together but it’s so… hard. They wonder if they’re really just making things worse. They probably are.
Yeah there are solo projects. But it’s mostly pretty dismal. They’re trying to prepare to fight kang but they know they’ll lose. In the final solo project, there’s an end credit scene. Someone in a suit appears in dark streets and picks up a loose newspaper. ‘The avengers disbanded’. In a robotic-ish voice: oh no.
And then, final avengers movie of the saga. Except… it opens up to kids being assholes and oh wait this is just an adaptation of the first Young Avengers comic with some more emphasis on the avengers. Why have a huge crossover movie when teenagers can stab people? This isn’t to say there won’t be any closure for other storylines, I just don’t think every storyline needs to end in an AVENGERS storyline. The big crossover movie will probably be phase 3’s big Kang gang up movie, with everyone fighting their own time travelling war lord. But Kang’s death belongs to Nate. So that’s how it’ll be. Other superhero team ups will probably happen. But the big bad will be slain by those who now carry the avengers torch. It’s to me the only way to actually get people interested in the Young Avengers.
Some post saga notes:
There are some things that will be included. Like fantastic four and Xmen. It’s just a little difficult to try and explain how they fit it without going into masses of detail.
The next saga will likely be multiverse based. The Young Avengers are pretty well prepped for that kind of storyline. I’ll likely reallocate TLAT to this saga. Multiverse works better for god-based movies than time travel. It’ll probably include Children’s Crusade and YA vol2 for some of the avengers movies.
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🌈🕯️
aaa ty again <3
🌈is there a fic that you worked *really fucking hard on* that no one would ever know? maybe a scene/theme you struggled with?
Hmm, all my published fics so far went fairly smoothly. The hardest one to write that I've posted was probably Presumed Dead, but it wasn't that bad, it was mostly just going back and having to pad out scenes like Hawkeye and Daniel listening to the radio, and Hawkeye going shopping, to flesh out the vibe that he's coasting in Crabapple Cove and needs a change.
OOOH also the title of War Bonds was an eleventh hour decision, it was untitled until it was finished and even after that it took me a while to come up with something, which never happens for me, I'm usually pretty quick with titles. But it's such a perfect theme-encapsulating pun that it felt inevitable, like I had to wait until it alighted on me before I could use anything but a placeholder description. Supporting the army financially/supporting it through your friendships... Though it wasn't exactly a struggle even though it took a while, it feels like I was handed the title by a muse rather than coming up with it myself lol.
Also if I can answer with a WIP then I am having a hard time with SO many things right now lmao, like chapter 3 of my Hawkeye/BJ fic in which I'm trying to balance like 2-3 themes and come up with actual plotty scenes to write and failing, or my fic where Hawkeye gets hauled in for questioning over a gay accusation and at 40 pages in I've realized I don't have a solid thematic statement and therefore idk what the climax should be lol. I hope if/when I eventually finish these no one would ever know the struggle when they read them (unless they read this I guess lol).
🕯️was there a fic that was really hard on you to write, or took you to a place you didn’t think it would take you?
War Bonds was something I wrote in chunks with an ending in mind but without a very solid idea for what would happen in between, just whenever I was feeling salty about late Mash and wanted to make a point I'd add to it lol, so I didn't expect several scenes. And the scene with the wounded soldier who wakes up and asks about his platoon was a very late addition, I added it after I came up with the title to sort of hammer home the relevance and reinforce the theme.
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aaa hey!!! its me i requested haruk with a s/o who has pots i just want to tell you how much i appreciate u <33 idk if u did any research but it definitely looks like you did you wrote it very nicely!!!!! i wouldbt wanna change anything at all you represented it rlly well!! but could i request one more if its ok? (i understand u have a lot of requests so if not you can always decline this or if its out of your comfort zone)
but if you are ok with writing one more could you do maybe smth about what she’d do if the reader fainted? like for me personally (pots is different for a lot of people, some people need walking sticks im so sorry i forgot the name my brain isnt braining today some ppl dont like me thankfully when i do gymnastics i just have to pace myself and take a lot of breaks because if not my heartrate gets too fast and i could faint lol) sorry i got off topic ahah but badically for me sometimes my episodes r really bad and i faint back to back but i can tell when an episofd is about to happen bc i get dizzy and i start sweating/feeling rlly hot and shaky and my heartrate gets waaay too fast which theb i know to sit down n stuff but even then i faint anyways and sometimes its back to back liek once i wake up i could go iut again and it can happen a few times so could you maybe do hcs of what she’d do if the reader was having an episode like that and the reader maybe feels kind of scared bc honestly no matter how many times it happens its always scary but 🤗 tysm one last thing DONT OVERWORK URSELF!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! TAKE CARE OF YOURSELF WE KNOW U LOVE US BUT WE LOVE U TOO AND WANT THE BEST FOR U anyways god this paragraph is long
awww, well ty!! i did do research, id hate to write smth and get it completely wrong- im glad you think so!! and ofc it's ok!! but ahhh I see I see,, well I am making sure to take care of myself, i appreciate you all and I hope yall are also taking care of yourself!!!! idm the paragraph at all, but I do hope you like this!! <3
♧ FAINTING - Haruka Kiritani x Reader
As I mentioned, Haruka gets really good at noticing your symptoms, so when she picks up on them, she'll rush to your side
During the ones where you end up fainting, she'll help you to either sit or lay down, either way keeping you leaned against her
She'll rub your shoulders even while you're passed out, her touch as gentle as can be
Once you wake up and you don't faint again, she'll hold out her bag to you. She doesn't know what exactly you need after fainting, but she's pretty certain that her bag has everything that you would ask her for anyway
If you wake up and promptly faint again, she continues to support you and keep you safe until you eventually wake up again
She's aware that those episodes are scary, she'd honestly be surprised if you weren't scared, so afterwards, she's very gentle with you
"Hey, dear? You're okay, you're safe. I'll always be right here for you." She'll always make sure to say something like that to you after an episode, she just cares about you a ton <3
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FOR THE LOVE OF GOD GIVE MIMI A BIG HUG
Thank you so much for this mimi!!!!! AAA i ate this in like an hour. Finally we are in Hawai'i !! And yes there is that sexual tension there i can smell it. JK has been hinting but when OC just brushes past him he stops at that. I know he is waiting for something more... obvious to try to make i move. Poor TaeTae and Jimin that couldnt go! seriously! but in the other end, as you wrote maybe this was meant, maybe something will change after this trip. who knows.
Alsoo UGHHHH THE END?! HELLO? I kinda want to say, please dont make this a cheating situation I MEAN I KNOW IT IS NOT CHEATING but ohmygod i couldnt bear to read JK got laid, or OC omg no the angst... I mean its your story of course but i was already feeling heartbroken when JK wanted to spend more time with them. I mean its literally just the two of them. Oh got i get goosebumps just thinking about it LMAO. I am jealous from a fictional character Mimi what have you done to me.
Anywho! It was so... comforting? felt familiar? felt like.. home? to read you again, there is something in the way you write that ugh idk does soemthing to me, many of us can agree, its jsut that you are so good, i got so inmersed in the storytelling and descripctions... i could see it all while i was reading, hands down Mimi, love that your words make me feel like that. Thank you for continuing this story, thanking for not giving up and deliving us this couple of stubborn friends i love so much.
Note 1 - JK taking care of her literally the whole chapter hello? can you hear that? is my heart melting
Note 2 - i see what you did there! Added a little of background story for OC AND we had a teeny tiny bit of JK POV got that had me toe-curling and giggling lol
Note3 - OH PLEASE I NEED THEM TO FUCK LIKE THEY ARE IN A FREAKING HONEYMOON. House´s private, glass doors and windows, bed facing the sea, private pool? UGH the -options-
Note 3 (mostly for myself) Please i need the fucking between ´them´and not with others... (was was that last comment OC are you dumb? :( wsym its for the best ITS NOT YOU WILL KNOW SOONER THAN LATER)
ok i think that is it, thank for comming to my tedtalk. Until next time (i cant wait for 59 lol)
Mutual Help | #58
↳ 𝐬𝐲𝐧𝐨𝐩𝐬𝐢𝐬; in order for you to pretend to be his girlfriend, he helps you with your sexual desires ⏤ he calls it mutual help
⇢ 𝐩𝐚𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐧𝐠: jungkook x reader
⇢ 𝐠𝐞𝐧𝐫𝐞: fake dating au, fluff, angst, smut, slow burn
⇢ 𝐰𝐚𝐫𝐧𝐢𝐧𝐠𝐬: explicit language, suggestive content
⇢ 𝐰𝐨𝐫𝐝 𝐜𝐨𝐮𝐧𝐭: 20.1k+
⇠ 𝐩𝐫𝐞𝐯. | 𝐢𝐧𝐝𝐞𝐱 | 𝐧𝐞𝐱𝐭 ⇢
The first issue happens shortly after your shenanigans with Jungkook.
Everything has been dealt with regarding your planned and first official vacation. Accommodation, flight tickets, even some of the activities all of you have agreed on. While you had enough time to dwell back into your working life (Jungkook free to some extent), each day has become closer to the D-day.
You're not going to lie. You're excited to get out of Seoul – as much as you love the city – and experience some fun memories with your friends. With them, you will have the time of your lives. However, all plans come crashing down with a single message from Jimin.
For some reason, his previous planned holiday is canceled by his boss himself. They're low on the employees and there's nothing else that could be done.
“Maybe there will be a last minute change but I don't think that's gonna happen. I think I should cancel my flight tickets while I can.” Is what he said through a message.
Taehyung was the one who took it the worst. To explain it correctly, Taehyung cursed the shit out of Jimin's boss and how devilish it is of him to ruin the holiday. Holiday without Jimin sounds sad and suddenly, none of it seems as exciting as you once thought.
Perhaps the reason behind your sulky mood is the fact that you don't like when something is not going according to plans. Or more like – you're excited about something, already imagining and having a certain vision of things when it suddenly gets ruined. Funnily enough, Jimin is the one who takes it the best. He laughed and joked about it, though he surely does feel a little upset by the sudden changes.
Nobody wants their summer holiday to get taken away, especially when he has to be working instead. Jimin insists all of you should go regardless of his absence when the idea of trying to get another date comes to the surface. Though, that's even trickier when three people have to change their already confirmed and planned holidays. There are your co-workers who have scheduled free days too. To say it shortly – it's not easy at all and would bring more trouble than good.
Even Jungkook who's his own boss has scheduled photoshoots and overall work. He could possibly cancel it, but that would bring no good to his name and business. Plus, he would lose money obviously.
Jimin stays positive and prays that maybe someone from their team will come to the rescue.
It's a little more than two weeks before your planned vacation. You're in the middle of folding your freshly washed and dried clothes while Jungkook's humming can be heard in the background. You video-chat him, giving him advice on what clothes to give away to charity. Something he has been doing for a while now.
Taehyung would tell him to sell everything and Jimin would tell him to give away everything. You, on the contrary, can reason with him. The piece of clothing he hasn't worn for the last year is good to go, because he will probably never wear it again. It's why you help him with that instead of any of the guys.
After that is done, you just casually chat which to be honest, you're glad for. It's not like you haven't done that in a long time, but it feels way more calm than anything you've done for the past few months. It's a nice change compared to your wild thoughts. You just can't bring yourself to dwell on it – because you're going to lose it.
“Oh found this one just now,” Jungkook says, cutting off your thoughts which is probably for the best.
You look at him, his phone propped on his kitchen counter and from the looks of it, you can just imagine the device leaned against his bowl of fruit. He stands with a leather jacket in his arms, showing it off so you could see it better. Little does he know, that article of clothing is not one to be forgotten.
“What do you think?”
“You want to give it away?” you almost gasp, hands on your hips with a mouth agape.
“Why not?”
“Because it's the legendary jacket, you can't just give it away.” you protest, seeing him blink at you a few times before he bursts out into the cutest fit of laughter.
Teeth on display, nose scrunched along with the ends of his eyes, he laughs. “Legendary jacket? What are you even talking about?”
You pout, rolling your eyes at him.
“It's just a regular leather jacket. Everyone's got one of these.”
“That might be true,” you start, Jungkook's eyes wide as he teasingly nods, motioning that he's listening. “But it looks way too good. Plus, you wear it often, right?”
God, you hope he does. Now is not the time to thirst over him and how fucking good he looks in that stupid jacket, but well… that's exactly what's happening right now.
“I haven't worn it in a while, it's too hot for it.”
“See? You will wear it once it's colder. Keep it.”
Jungkook stares at the jacket for a moment, his eyes glinting and watching the screen where you're currently finishing up folding your clothes. With a tiny smirk, he places the jacket to the side and leans against the counter. His forearms rest on it, head cocking to the side.
“I can't believe Jimin is not going with us.” Jungkook admits, mouth curling into a displaying frown which you immediately mirror without even looking at him.
Sitting on the couch with your phone in your hand, you sigh disappointedly. “Don't even mention it. I'm so upset over that. Honestly, what a stupid boss.”
“It happens here a lot though.”
“I know,” you whine, “But still. It ruined our plans and I feel so bad for him. We're gonna have fun and he will have to stay here and work. It won't be a proper vacation without him there. It was supposed to be all of us.”
“Jimin wants us to have fun.” he responds with a soft tone, thinking of the stupid situation himself.
“It's not gonna be it when he's not there.”
“It fucking sucks,” Jungkook sighs. “Maybe he'll be able to join us last minute.”
“I doubt it,” you frown, Jungkook snickering at your pessimistic self as you give him a glare, knowing exactly why he's laughing. “He would have to get his flight tickets at the last minute, plus his accommodation is already canceled. What if the place we'll stay at won't have any free space?”
“There's a couch, he could sleep there.” he shrugs.
“Nah, flight tickets would be a problem. It's vacation season.”
“Or maybe he will be glad to spend some time with his girlfriend.”
You frown, “Not wanting to pull out Taehyung but he's with her almost all the time.”
“And how would you know that?” Jungkook chuckles.
“Well, when he's not working or with us, he's obviously with her.”
Jungkook keeps grinning, not really having any argument because he knows you're right.
“You sound like Taehyung.” he teases.
“Oh fuck off!” You both laugh. “It's true though.”
“It is. Can you blame him?”
“What do you mean?”
“If I had a girlfriend I would wanna be with her too.”
You frown at that again, staring at Jungkook on your screen who seems to shrug innocently. “But Jimin was excited to go to Hawaii.”
“Yes,” he says slowly, “I'm just saying that even if he's not going, he would spend time with his girlfriend and he would enjoy it either way. So no need to be too sad for him. He himself isn't too upset with it.”
“Men,” you sigh, “You all think of pussies.”
“Y/N!” Jungkook almost chokes at your honesty.
“What? Just sayin',” you mutter, “This is important, Kook.”
He chuckles, shaking his head. “I was just trying to make you not feel so bad for him. He will be fine. He's a big boy.”
You snicker, “It's a bummer.”
“I know, but I promise you… we will have a good time. Even if it's just three of us.”
“Yeah, I know that–” you mutter, pouting. “Just will miss Jimin there.”
“Speaking of the devil, he's calling me.” Jungkook says, eyes attached to the top of his screen. “I will just call him after this.”
You cackle.
“What?”
“Nothing, nothing.”
“Come on now,” he groans, “It's impolite to end a call just like that.”
“Just admit you love talking to me.”
He rolls his eyes, laughing as he keeps grinning at the screen. Your own mouth turning upwards as something within your chest tickles. “I do.”
He admits and that something bursts. You freaking look away with a smile, almost too close to giggling loudly like a freaking teenager. You stop yourself, clearing your throat.
“You should've seen your face,” he suddenly bursts out laughing. “What was that? Do I make you flustered, Y/L/N?”
“You wish, Jeon.” you spit jokingly right away, your senses acting automatically.
He suddenly sneezes, loudly and forcingly, your head tilting to the side as he lifts up his gaze, eyes mischievous as a teasing grin makes it onto his face again. “I'm sorry, I'm allergic to your bullshit.”
You gasp loudly, “You piece of shit. I'll get you back for that, Jeon.”
“Yeah, wonder how,” he teases cheekily, “Why's Jimin still calling me? Wait hold on–”
He grabs his phone, tapping something there as you get another angle of his face.
“This angle is funny. Too bad I can't see your double-chin. This could be my payback.” you joke, Jungkook clearly too immersed in reading something to pay you his full attention.
You purse your lips. “Hello? I'm trying to be funny here.”
His eyes widen, your smile dropping.
“Kook?”
“Holy shit,”
“What?”
“Fuck, fuck,” He stands up, almost dropping his phone. “Jimin just texted me–Taehyung is in the hospital.”
“What?!” You yell, standing up abruptly as you clutch the phone in your hands. “Jungkook, talk to me! What happened?”
“I literally don't know!” he exclaims. “Jimin just got the call and tried to reach us.”
“Us? He didn't call me!” you panic, checking your notifications to see them empty. Fuck. You would not forgive yourself if you somehow ignored his messages, even though it wouldn't be entirely your fault.
“Fuck, we need to get there. He's going there right now.”
“Is it serious?” you ask, voice shaking at the thought of Taehyung and something happening to him. He's in a hospital which means it's something serious.
Jungkook stops pacing, hearing the shakiness in your voice. Bringing the phone closer to his face, he watches you. “I'll come get you, alright?”
You nibble on your nails, nodding still staring ahead of you.
“Y/N,” Jungkook calls out to you. “He's gonna be okay, alright?”
“You don't know that.” you scoff.
“We don't know any details, so let's not jump into conclusions, okay? Just wait there, alright? I will drive to your place right now.”
“Where would I go?” you exclaim, clearly stressed which Jungkook doesn't blame you for. Instead of calling you out for your attitude, he knows you're worried and stressed.
“Just don't drive anywhere.”
“I won't.” you promise, voice softening.
“I will call you once I'm there. Don't go outside, it's too late.”
“Jungkook, stop worrying so much.”
He groans, grabbing his keys as the screen keeps glitching here and there how quickly he's moving. “It's too late. Wait inside.”
“Okay, sir.” you mutter dryly, Jungkook stopping just to glare at you.
“Stop messing around. I am not.”
“Jesus, sorry.”
He rolls his eyes. “Keep your pretty ass in your home. I'll call you when I get there.”
“Then get your pretty ass here, Jeon.” you roll your eyes to give back at him.
He sighs, closing his front door with a loud thud. The connection glitches for a second, his internet changing to his mobile data as he waits for the elevator. “Fuck it.” You hear him muttering, running for the stairs.
You keep pacing in your living room, biting off your nails while not having Taehyung beside you to scold you for doing so. Your heart clenches and worry overcomes you once again. It's Jungkook's car door closing that brings your attention back, watching him put his phone into the phone holder.
“Kook?”
“Hm?” he says, putting on his seatbelt as he turns on the engine.
“Drive safely, okay?”
“I will,” he promises, but you keep giving him the same desperate look. “I promise.”
You smile nervously, ending the call just to be met with a spam of messages from Jimin.
Jungkook comes shortly after, just enough for you to check all the lights and gas before you leave. He definitely drove over the speed limit but you don't dare to scold him once he calls you. You spot the familiar Mercedes slowing down the parking lot just as your phone rings. Just like he wanted, you stayed inside. Knowing there's a low chance of something happening to you – considering this neighborhood is pretty much safe and you've walked when it was way later than now – you also know he cares about your safety, so you didn't feel like disobeying his direct orders. Or more like a plea that would end up in a frustrating scolding if you didn't listen to him.
Once you get inside the car, you buckle your seatbelt and Jungkook speeds out of the parking lot, rushing to the hospital where Jimin texted him details.
“Jimin is there.”
“What happened? Did he tell you?”
Jungkook shakes his head, checking on you for a split second before his eyes are back on the road. “No, he's still waiting.”
Luckily, the hospital where Taehyung's at is not that far away and it takes you approximately around fifteen minutes to get there, with all the red lights you had to stop at.
You've never had to go to a hospital here because something happened to one of your friends. To go through this and watch how Jungkook says Taehyung's name at the reception, trying to get any information doesn't sit with you well. You're full of nerves, sticking to Jungkook's side as he handles everything by himself. The nurse questions your relation to Taehyung but luckily, has no problem giving you directions of where to find your friend.
“Couldn't she tell us if he's alive?” you grumble beside Jungkook as he tries to follow her directions from before.
Jungkook chuckles, “If he wasn't, she wouldn't just tell us where to find him.”
Sighing, you follow Jungkook the entire time. “Have you been here before?” you question him in the elevator, a suspicious, curious look glinting in your eyes where worry was found before.
Jungkook gives you a side-glance, sighing before looking ahead. “I have.”
When he doesn't elaborate and is silent, you lean yourself forward to catch his eyes. “When?”
He straightens his posture.
“It's just because you kinda know your way around here.”
You don't remember him mentioning being hospitalized here, nor coming here for examinations. There's a chance you simply don't know about that. There might be things you haven't told each other, it's practically impossible knowing everything about each other. But you feel if it came to this topic, you would know about it.
But you don't.
“I was here with Kiko.”
You halt, a taken back expression taking over your face.
“And because of Kiko.” He adds, clearing his throat at the mention of his ex. Almost as if you would bite off his head just for mentioning her name.
You chuckle at that. “Oh, I didn't know that.”
“Yeah, didn't think of mentioning it before.” he mutters.
“Was she hospitalized here?”
“Do you really wanna know or you're just nosy?” he teases, wiggling his brow at you as you roll your eyes.
“Just answer, Jeon.”
“My curious delicate flower,” he continues to tease, ruffling your hair in the process as you elbow him in the ribs. “She had something with her shoulder once, she went here for rehabilitation.”
“Oh,” you let out slowly. “Was she fine after that?”
Feeling a burn of someone's gaze, you see Jungkook side-eyeing you. “Don't pretend like you care.” he chuckles, shaking his head at you as you smack your lips at him in annoyance.
“I wanna know! Stop making it seem like I'm a heartless monster!”
“I wouldn't dare.” he jokes, continuing to shake his head as you sigh in irritation at your very annoying friend.
“I advise you that.”
He snickers, “Damn, so scary.”
“Jungkook, seriously. I'm gonna kick you in the balls if you're gonna continue this.” you warn him, hearing him laugh as he leans against the elevator's wall.
You glance at him, annoyed expression as his brow cockily lifts up.
“Not the balls, damn, you monster.”
“Keep talking and you'll see the real monster.” you mutter, your bickering interrupted by the elevator's ring, informing you of your floor.
Walking out of there, all the fun disappears as soon as you see and smell the sterile surroundings again, along with sick patients of all sorts which truly breaks your heart. You understand why someone hates hospitals so much. You never truly belong to that people, never really had that awful experience. Everyone you lost in the family had left at their peaceful homes. You never had to say goodbye to anyone here.
Although, you do remember visiting your father's mother – your dear grandmother – when you were a kid. Unfortunately, she passed away when you were around six. The only thing that bothers you to this day is that you don't have many memories with her. Since you were a little kid, you only remember very little. Plus, there are days when you wished she was still here. To talk about the craziness you've experienced in both families. To help her and show her your gratitude for raising your dad and his four siblings, when she was all alone. She was truly an inspiration for you.
Your dad says you get a lot from her. You'll never forget a conversation you had with him about her.
“You remind me of her sometimes. She had a good heart like you have.”
That's what he told you when you were around eighteen. Your dad is not a sentimental person. He doesn't usually say many heart-warming things, so to hear him saying that just made you emotional. Thinking of it now, it still does in a way.
“Sorry, we are here looking for our friend? They told us at the reception he's on this floor. Kim Taehyung?” Jungkook stops one of the nurses, surprisingly stopping a male who kindly shows you the way to see your friend.
Jungkook looks behind, making sure you're there as he gives you an encouraging smile. You wonder if he's scared as fuck of what you're about to see as well. Is he pretending to be brave and having his shit together because of you? Are you preaching?
Jungkook is the most caring friend. You don't believe he's not worried as much as you are.
“Ready?” he asks, tilting his head toward the direction the nurse sent you.
Naturally, like your body calls for his proximity and safety, you wrap your arms around his forearm, clutching to his side as you give him a nod. He leads you to one of the rooms, both of you cautiously peeking inside as the scene in front of you makes you both gasp loudly, catching everyone's attention in the room.
There he is.
If someone told you you will see Kim Taehyung laying in a hospital bed, you would laugh him off for some reason. All of you would. So to not only see him lying there but having a huge cast on his leg, his face pale and hair unkempt, you and Jungkook gulp at the sight.
Jimin stands there, arms crossed over his chest as his hands rub his lips nervously. A woman stands next to him, a little behind him, noticing your and Jungkook's presence immediately.
That has to be her.
But before any of you can pay her attention, Taehyung steals it without even knowing as he groans.
“What the hell happened?” You almost shriek as a panicked mother, tearing yourself off Jungkook's side as you rush to Taehyung's side, Jungkook following you right after.
Both of you having a concerned look, Taehyung takes a minute to recognize you. You make a grimace, you and Jungkook giving Jimin a stare as he goes to say something, but he's interrupted by the patient himself.
“You guys are here?” He looks shocked, making sure it's really you as he squints his eyes at you both.
“Of course we are–what happened, Tae?”
“Ah, don't even ask! That shit is so fucking embarrassing!” he dramatically sighs, slapping his palm over his forehead as he disappointedly shakes his head at himself.
“Can he just tells us what the fuck happened to him?” Jungkook mutters under his breath, causing you to elbow him like before.
Jimin clears his throat, “He was at the gym and accidentally dropped one of the dumbbells on his feet.”
“Jimin-ah!”
“Man they asked!” Jimin exclaims, trying to keep calm.
“You guys came here because of me?” Taehyung pouts, changing the topic as you and Jungkook stare at him completely dumbfounded. What is wrong with him?
“Of course we did,” you assure him. “We would be here sooner, but Jimin had to call us. Why didn't you call us too?” you frown.
“Actually, the nurse called me. Taehyung gave them my number.”
“Well, that's great.” you mutter.
“Well, I'm sorry!” Taehyung mocks you, slapping his arms against the fluffy duvet he has thrown over one side of his body. “How could I know if you guys are not fucking somewhere behind our backs?”
“We don't do that!” Jungkook reacts.
The room is filled with craziness.
Jimin sighs, deadpanning at his friend. You and Jungkook loudly gasp, your hand over your fast beating heart.
The room is silent after that, Jimin's eyes directed somewhere behind you and Jungkook. You both turn around to see a nurse coming in, an awkward smile attached on her lips as she holds the clipboard with her.
“We had to give him some painkillers, he was close to crushing his toes. He's a little drugged by now.” she informs you, perhaps trying to make you less embarrassed because of your friend.
“I will come back and fill you with more information.” She sets up the clipboard on his bed, everyone bowing to her as she reciprocates it before walking away.
“Ignore him, he's drugged.” Jimin apologizes to the female beside him, her eyes eyeing you and Jungkook as you shift on your spot.
“Yeah, he's just babbling nonsense.”
Taehyung scoffs, luckily keeping his mouth shut about this topic. “Yeah, by the way guys, Jimin brought his girlfriend. They were on a date when his friend was dying.”
“You weren't dying, Taehyung.” Jimin corrects him, giving him a stern look as the younger friend puts his lips into a thin line, frowning. “Ah, guys. This is Rinn. Wanted to introduce you to her under different circumstances but well, babe–”
Taehyung gags in the distance. “Knowing you, you would've kept her secret for another year.”
“This is Y/N and Jungkook. My friends.” Jimin grits through his teeth, giving a forced smile to his blonde girl.
“It's nice to meet you. Jimin talked about you a lot.”
“Really? Because he really didn't–”
You kick Taehyung's mattress, ignoring his nasty glare as you both bow at each other.
“Nice meeting you too, Rinn. Welcome to the craziness.” Jungkook chuckles, “Jimin is a great guy. Hope this didn't traumatize you.”
She giggles, Jimin laughing nervously while you watch Taehyung who sulks in his spot. “No. It didn't.” she assures Jimin as she cuddles up to him.
“Tae, how are you feeling?” you ask, focusing your attention on your sulking friend.
You sit on the edge of his bed, brushing a few strands off his hair.
“Embarassed and like a fucking idiot,” he mutters. “I got so much attention at the gym. Fuck, I am used to attention but not that kind.”
“The most important thing is that you are okay, Taehyung.” Jungkook butts in, trying to sound gentle as he eyes his friend's new cast.
Taehyung scoffs, “Does this seem fine to you?”
“I meant it that you're alive. You'll have this cast for a few months but you will be fine. You're lucky nothing worse happened to you.” Jungkook explains.
“Fuck, I feel high,” he sighs, dropping his head on the pillow as he stares at the ceiling. He gulps, whining. “What about Hawaii? Fucking hell. I can't go.”
The realization hits all of you, yours and Jungkook's eyes meeting as you pout.
“We can go next year.” Jungkook tries but you know it will only do so little.
“We will cancel it too. There's no point in going when both of you don't go.” you tell him, Taehyung frowning as Jimin gives you an empathic smile.
“No, you guys have to go.” Taehyung says, your eyes lifting up in surprise. But before you can say something, mouth already opening, he continues. “Everything's paid for. Jimin barely got the money back for flight tickets, I don't think I will get mine. It's too close to date.”
“Tae is right,” Jimin agrees, “You can still enjoy it without us.”
“I would hate myself if you didn't go there because of my clumsiness,” Taehyung admits, frowning. “Y/N you were so excited to see Hawaii.”
You stare, pouting as your eyes get teary for some reason. The entire situation is shitty as fuck and Taehyung's pale face is not helping.
“You have to go.”
“I'm sure accommodation can be arranged just for the two of you. It's worth a shot.” Jimin says.
“We could try but I don't know…” Jungkook groans, sighing in disappointment at the fucked up situation. “We'll talk about it later. You're more important now, Tae. What can we do for you?”
You nod, listening to Taehyung who sighs, cracking his neck. “I would die for McDonald's right now.”
Snorting, you shake your head at your friend.
“You shouldn't eat right now, Tae. You have a good amount of meds inside you. It would probably make you sick.” Jimin reminds him.
“We should just wait for the nurse to give us more information. Then we can figure it out from there.” you say, Jimin and Jungkook nodding in agreement.
“This fucking sucks.”
You make yourself comfortable on Taehyung's current bed, humming. “Tell me something about it.”
A few minutes later, a male in his mid-thirties (you're guessing) comes in. Wearing a white coat, you almost forgot how handsome some doctors can look, he eyes everyone in the room – mostly surprised to see so many people but then none of you are family members. He does question it but doesn't send you away.
“...fortunately, Mr. Kim, your accident hasn't permanently damaged any of your nerves or bones. You'll have to wear a cast for a couple of weeks until it's healed, and after that you will need to be careful. But we'll take it from there and discuss further recovery steps.”
Taehyung looks like he's five seconds from dozing off or as if he could care less, you're trying to hold back your laugh while Jimin and Jungkook are the responsible ones. They keep nodding and looking seriously at the doctor using terms you've never heard before. You're sure none of them have and the fact they act like they do makes you want to laugh. Rynn stays behind, sitting on the chair next to a window. You get a feeling she might feel not unwelcomed, but definitely out of her comfort zone.
She sees four friends sticking together, three of them that she hasn't seen before. Honestly, it's not weird to see a woman next to Jimin. It is weird to see the affection they have going on, even though so far it has been pretty low-key.
As the doctor finishes and informs Taehyung he's able to go home after they run some tests on him, he gives you a shortly lasting look. You smile, looking away in shyness as you're met with Jungkook's side-eyed frown. He has done that a lot today, you think.
You just innocently shrug, both of your attentions turned to Taehyung who starts to complain all over again.
“You guys should go. You were on a date, right? Me and Kook will take care of him.” you tell Jimin, feeling bad not because they had to cut off their date, but you feel bad toward Rynn.
She probably wants to be with her boyfriend, it has probably been too many events for her tonight. You could sympathize with her and imagine what it feels like for her. Besides, there are three of you here. There's no need for all of you to be here. Taehyung will be fine.
Someone just has to wait with him for more tests and results, so he's really safe to go home. Plus, he needs to be driven home as his ride here was an ambulance – something he's still complaining about how awkward it was when it arrived in front of the gym.
“Yeah, go. They will take care of me.” Taehyung mutters like the child he can be, met with yet another glare from you.
Jungkook tries not to laugh while Jimin frowns. “No. We could wait here and drive him to my place.” Jimin argues, turning to Rynn. “You don't mind, right?”
“Fucking hell,” Taehyung whispers under his breath. “Why are you asking her? Just go and have your date.” He rolls his eyes at Jimin who clenches his jaw.
“I don't mind.” Rynn tells him silently, assuring him.
“Somebody's gonna have to take care of your ass, Taehyung-ah. You can't be alone at home right now.”
“I'm not a child.”
“Sometimes you act like it.”
“Okay,” you butt in, standing up. “It's too late to be arguing in a freaking hospital. So get it together, both of you–” You're met with a glare from both of them. “Jimin wants to be here for you, so don't be childish Taehyung. They can have a date another time.”
“What she means to say is–” Jungkook starts, standing behind you. “We're all willing to stay here and help.”
Jimin and Rynn have a silent conversation as Taehyung purses his lips and closes his eyes, ignoring his surroundings. Deep down, you know he wants Jimin to be here for him. He's just childish because Jimin is dating now and even though Rynn doesn't seem to be a bad girl, it's different now. Suddenly, there's another person in his life and in their friendship as well. It awfully reminds you of the situation you had with Jungkook.
It's still slightly different but similar in many ways. You know how Taehyung feels. The difference is that Taehyung also knows shit about relationships. He can't understand why Jimin, the guy who used to fuck purely for fun and enjoyment, is now dating someone.
“Guys, could you drop off Rynn at her house? She lives nearby, so it's not too far away.”
“Yeah, sure. No problem.” Jungkook responds.
“Come on, it's late. We should all go to sleep. They can handle it from there,” you say, motioning for Rynn to join you. “Don't worry, we're friendly and don't bite.”
She laughs, some of her nervosity dropping.
“Yeah, they're too into each other to care about anyone else.” Taehyung comments.
“Y'know what Taehyung? If you don't want your other leg in a cast, you better shut up.” you warn him, feeling Jungkook's hand on your lower back as he shakes his head, silently telling you it's not worth it as an amused smile plays on his lips.
“Which one?” Taehyung asks cheekily, having the time of his life when he watches your realization into disgust.
“Jesus, man. You should sleep it off.”
“That's not gonna help. This is Taehyung we're talking about.” you murmur to Jungkook.
Taehyung is about to say another nonsense, stopped by Jimin's palm as he gives him a warning stare before he walks up to you and Jungkook.
“Guys, please do not interrogate her. Okay?” Jimin pleas, sounding nervous as you and Jungkook share a knowing look. “No, please. Don't look at each other like that.”
Little does he know it wasn't because of what he thinks it is, that you will go against his wishes, but it's the cuteness of how he doesn't want to ruin anything between them. You've never had a chance to see him like this.
“Don't worry, we're gonna be on our best behavior.” Jungkook jokes, causing Jimin to whine but there's no time to have such a silly conversation.
Jimin turns to Rynn, telling her something before they share a kiss. You're ready to squeal at the cuteness as Jungkook tries not to laugh at you, cheekily poking you in your side while Taehyung looks grumpy.
“I'll text you and see you tomorrow, okay?” You hear Jimin say just as you bid goodbye to Taehyung, who's already too sleepy.
Jungkook pats the top of his head before you leave Jimin with him and part your ways. But not before you hear Jimin's silent scolding. “You see? This is exactly why I didn't want to–”
You and Jungkook try not to laugh on your way out of the room, sharing a look in the hallway as Rin silently follows you, probably wondering who the hell has she just met.
“She's quiet.”
You break a silence by stating something both of you are thinking. Rin is not exactly communicative, kept it very casual and both, you and Jungkook, could get the hint of her not wanting to really talk.
“She might've felt bad because of Taehyung.” Jungkook responds, a thoughtful frown making it on his face as he drives you through familiar streets that lead toward your home.
During the slightly awkward drive to Rin's place, Jungkook tried to excuse Taehyung's behavior, thinking it's the main reason for Rin's distant behavior. It's not like she wasn't friendly or has done something out of place. She was just… quiet. She kept it simple, not engaging in any further topics. And regarding Taehyung, she just said it's okay and that was it.
It was certainly none of you have expected. You tried to make the atmosphere lighter, forcing chuckles and grins for her own sake but she just didn't seem to care. You're not going to lie, that stung a little and you had to grit your teeth to prevent yourself from really asking her – What's up?
But then you realize, you have no idea how she's feeling. She met all three of you in the span of one hour and with Taehyung's insanity and even bolder mouth than ever, it has been a lot for her probably.
It's not like the three of you are too much to handle, right?
“You think so?”
Jungkook chuckles at your question, “Tae took it too far. Anyone would've felt uncomfortable.”
“Come on, he's on drugs–” you scoff out a chuckle as if that excuses him. “He wasn't fully himself.”
“He was pretty much Taehyung, what are you sayin'?” Jungkook laughs.
You smack your lips together, a laugh escaping past them as you gently nudge his arm. “You know what I mean–he would've behaved slightly differently if he wasn't in that state.”
“Hm, that could be true,” he mutters, driving with one hand as the other rubs his lips thoughtfully. “Maybe she's just shy, would explain a lot.”
“Maybe,” you hum, “Can you believe it though? Our Jimin has a girlfriend. Who would've thought?”
“Not me,” Jungkook jokes, quoting one of the famous sounds on TikTok which causes both of you to break into laughter. “I hope she's not terrified of us–or Tae.”
“There's nothing to be terrified of when it comes to us!” you exclaim, giggling when you see Jungkook's grimace of pursed lips and raised brows. “I don't know. I thought it would go differently when we would finally meet her. Not like this.”
“None of us expected it,” Jungkook says, “But it doesn't matter. All that matters is that Taehyung is okay.”
“Oh god, he's gonna be such a drama queen once they release him. A cast on his leg?”
Jungkook laughs, knowing exactly what you mean when it comes to Taehyung. “He's gotta get used to it. At least for a while.”
While a short silence follows, one thought is rooted inside your mind which causes you to nibble on your lips. “Kook,”
“Hm?”
“This means we're going alone to Hawaii?”
Jungkook sighs, thinking through his answer as you watch the side of his face and how street's signs and lights illuminate his features. “If you want to.”
He stops at the red light, a few cars stopping behind you as you stare out of the window to avoid his stare once he glances at you. You see him in the reflection. His eyes momentarily watch your form, perhaps trying to decipher what you're thinking before he looks back ahead, staring at the road instead.
“This is not how it was meant to be.” you mutter.
For some odd reason, you feel bad for even saying it. It almost sounds like you don't want to go with Jungkook. It's not that at all. Sure, the thought scares the fuck out of you – but Jimin and Taehyung were supposed to be there. All four of you. Making new memories and doing something new, something precious for your just as precious friendship.
“We don't have to go. We could try next year.”
“No,” you shake your head, “Everything's paid for. It was already trouble enough to deal with Jimin's reservations and now it's the same with Taehyung.”
“Listen,” Jungkook sighs, the engine roaring back to life as the red light changes to orange. By the time it's green, Jungkook puts the car into drive and speeds through the main road. “I know it's not ideal, but I don't want you to go if you don't feel like it.”
“It's not ideal but–” you stop yourself, groaning at your stupid way of explaining your feelings. “I made it sound as if I didn't wanna go with you…” you trail off, somehow starting to feel nervous which is stupid.
Jungkook stays silent. You're not sure if it's because he wants to listen to you or because he silently agrees. You did make it sound like that.
“I just–would it be wise?”
“Wise?” Jungkook frowns.
“Well–just the two of us.”
Jungkook stares ahead before he throws you a quick glance. It takes approximately five seconds for him to release a chuckle as he shakes his head while you're the one who stares in confusion now.
“So that's what you're nervous about?”
You roll your eyes, not being able to say anything. It's partly why you're so unsure about this. The last time you and Jungkook stayed alone… things happened. And while you would like to believe you're strong willed, there's a part of you that fears the exact opposite.
It's insane how Jungkook gets it without you actually having to say anything.
“What? You can't keep it in your pants, Y/L/N?”
It's the cocky tone that makes your mouth drop open, but that single sentence is enough to make you stutter and you literally fight to get proper words out. “You're the one bringing that up!”
But Jungkook laughs, completely ignoring your evident attempt of trying to argue with his statement.
“I didn't even think about that.”
“Mhm, mhm.”
He bursts out laughing, ignoring the way you glaring at his side with a huffy face. “What else did you mean then?”
“None of your business, Jeon.” you mutter, arms crossed over your chest as you fight back a smile when you hear his bubbly laugh next to you.
“Oh, we're back to Jeon?”
“You're the first one that started with surnames,” you point out, giving him a playful roll of your eyes before you sigh and relax in the seat. “I just meant… maybe it's stupid but–we all know how it ended the last time. This is a vacation, Jungkook. We're gonna be miles and miles away. It sounds–”
“Couple-y?” He finishes your thought. He shakes his head with a gentle smile. “It sounds like fun to me. I'm still me, Y/N.” It's the way his last sentence sounds so gentle and vulnerable that it makes you feel like an idiot for even bringing it up.
He's still the same Jungkook you've known for years. With or without intimacy.
You just had to talk about Hawaii one way or another.
“Yeah–I know it sounds like that but I don't overthink it that much. I just meant–fuck, I guess it's a big change from our plans and just us going is…”
“You're scared.” he says, pointing out the obvious that makes you dryly swallow.
You mentally groan and slap yourself. “How am I supposed to enjoy it when you will be right there?”
“Ouch.”
“No, not like that!” you correct yourself, groaning loudly this time. “You'll be a distraction.”
Jungkook laughs at that, “Distraction?”
“Yes!” you exclaim, growing frustrated but mainly from yourself and the fact you're talking about this. It makes you slightly embarrassed but at the same time it's a relief that you can talk about this so openly with him. “With Jimin and Taehyung there–”
“I can keep it in my pants,” he informs you of something you've heard many times before. “The question is–”
You inhale shakily.
“Can you?”
You stare ahead, eyes wide and mouth agape, tongue softly grazing your teeth.
Well–fuck.
“Listen, just let me know how you decided.”
Jungkook says with a window opened as you stand next to the driver's side, shifting on your spot nervously. You haven't talked much after that. There was not much time since Jungkook drove here in five minutes.
“I'm stupid for saying shit like that.”
Jungkook frowns, “Hey, you're not stupid. You're unsure and feel bad for the guys.”
It's not even about the temptation and the stupid break you came up with. It's the entire change of plans you've mentioned to him as well. You made it sound as if it was all about the two of you, but the truth is it feels bad to go there without Taehyung and Jimin.
And that's exactly what you tell Jungkook as you confess your once said thoughts. This time you're more serious.
“You heard them. They want us to go either way. Even when we don't think about the money and how's everything already paid for–you were excited to go there,”
He slides his hand off the steering wheel and places it on his lap instead.
“We're going there to enjoy our vacation. It might not be as we planned it, but we could still have fun. And deep down, I know you really wanna go there.”
“I do,” you admit after a while. When you think about it, this is your opportunity to go. Although, going there alone with him makes you awfully nervous. It's like a huge test for the two of you, one you're not ready for. “You know the last time when we were alone–”
“Mhm,” he says, prompting you to continue.
“I don't wanna make it seem as if that's all I'm thinking about, or that's how I see you but I guess–”
God why is it so hard to put any words out?
“I know,” Jungkook says gently, seeing you struggling a little to properly explain the crazy train of your thoughts. “You wanted us to focus on our friendship. I know, Y/N.”
He's so gentle that you almost want to cry out and have him hug you. You're in a desperate need of a hug. But it's too late and you both had a long day.
“You sure you don't wanna go upstairs?”
Jungkook smirks and you groan. “Not like that, Jeon.”
“I feel like I'm gonna pass out the second I take a shower and lay in my bed,” he jokes instead, “You should go inside, it's getting colder.”
You bite the inside of your cheek as you stare at your surroundings. “I wanna go, Kook.”
Jungkook turns his head to look at you, immediately realizing what you're talking about. He doesn't say it but the question in his eyes is clear. You sure?
“Yeah, I made a big deal out of it,” You sigh. “But I really wanna go with you. It would be stupid for us not to go.”
“Okay, then. I'll have to make some calls because of Taehyung, hopefully he will be able to get his money back. At least for the accommodation. If you change your mind, just let me know.”
“I won't,” you assure him with a smile, “And Kook?”
“Yes?”
“It's stupid but… I don't think I've ever felt nervous about you before. The last time was when we first met. Or the first time we started hanging out.”
“I made you nervous?” He laughs.
“Mostly everyone makes me nervous when I first meet them,” you scowl at him as you explain. “We barely hung out after we–took a break or whatever we wanna call it.”
Jungkook snorts at the way you roll your eyes when you say it.
“I make you nervous. I don't know how to deal with this information.”
“Jeon,” you grit through your teeth, “It's not you. It's more… the situation and all.”
He grins, biting his lower lip before he releases it and stares at the distant street lights. “There's no need to be nervous. No kissing. No sex. We're on a sex ban. Just two best friends in Hawaii.”
You groan his name and at the way he says it with an utmost grin. This man is not serious.
“That's not what I truly meant but–you know what? Nevermind. Let's just end it here.”
Jungkook doesn't press any further, simply opting for a gentle grin and change of topic. “Goodnight, Y/N.”
You catch yourself wishing he would say something else instead of your name.
And that's your cue to turn around before silently wishing him a goodnight, telling him to drive safe and send you a message once he's home. Perhaps it's for the better that he stayed in his car.
He waits until you're inside of the building before he drives out of the parking lot, his silver car slowly fading out until it fully disappears. What doesn't disappear are the mixed and crazed feelings that make you question every single thing that has been said.
One thing you know for sure.
This vacation will be one hell of a ride.
One, you can't prepare yourself for. One, you're close to shitting your pants for.
Rolling your suitcase down the sidewalk, Jungkook offers to take it but you decline. He has his own suitcase and full hands, therefore all he receives is just an appreciative smile as you enter the airport.
Namjoon was kind enough to take you and since your flight is early in the morning, he had the time to drive you here.
Sorting out your luggage and going through the security doesn't take too long and before you know it, you're seated in the airplane fighting for a window seat with Jungkook. He lets you have it, of course and slumps into the seat next to you. With a happy and slightly annoying smile, you make sure he sees it as he playfully rolls his eyes.
Since there are still passengers sitting and putting away their luggage, you do have a little time before taking off. You take that time to quickly video chat with Jimin and Taehyung. While Jimin's preparing for his work, Taehyung curses you out for waking him up. Though, there's a tiny smile that tells you that it's okay to go without them and enjoy it to the fullest.
You share your earphones with Jungkook, so he can hear them too.
“You guys–” Taehyung sighs, eyes slightly swollen with tiredness. “This sucks but enjoy it, alright? And send me pictures.”
“We will.”
“Yeah, Kook took his camera with him.”
“You and your camera,” Taehyung jokingly shakes his head. “I could've had such nice pictures.”
“You have… lots of them actually,” Jungkook snickers, “We will take some next time.”
“Be safe guys, I gotta run to work but text us when you land.” Jimin says, his screen blurry as he keeps moving.
“Will do.” you assure them. “I'm sorry you guys couldn't come.”
“Stop,” Taehyung cuts you off, giving you a grin that feels oddly comforting. “Have the biggest fucking fun. I'm stuck in bed, so maybe I will annoy you with my phone calls.”
“Great.” Jungkook mutters, causing you to nudge him as the four of you laugh.
“We're about to take off. I will call you, Tae. Don't worry.”
“I am not. What I worry about though, is the amount of times I could've gotten laid. Now I'm stuck here with this fucking cast on.”
“Dude, chill out.” Jimin laughs.
So do you and Jungkook. Shortly after you all end the call, you and Jungkook snickering between each other at Taehyung's biggest issue.
While the pilot welcomes everyone on board and informs them of the destination and other important information, you make yourself comfortable in your seat as you place your head on Jungkook's shoulder.
Jungkook looks down at you, smiling as you catch his glance. “Ready?”
“Is there anything left for me other than to be ready?”
“Well, you could chicken out. The plane is not in the air yet.”
You smack his side, sitting up straight as you're met with the familiar sight of his stretched smile and white pearls. “Dumbass.”
“Love you too.”
You look away, making sure he sees the roll of your eyes before doing so. Though a small smile plays on your lips and as you take off, plane soon in the clouds, you use Jungkook as the softest and best smelling pillow.
The adrenaline and excitement of what's awaiting for you does not allow you to sleep. Yet you don't move an inch, finding comfort in the man sitting beside you. And when you ask him to play with your hair, he does it without any questions.
“Oh my god.”
Is the first thing you let out as soon as you get out of the airport and see the beauty around you. The weather is not too hot for you to not have any sunglasses or hat on. You shield your eyes with a palm outstretched above them, stopping in the tracks as Jungkook tries to get a taxi.
“Beautiful, isn't it?” Jungkook says once he locks his phone and puts it into the pocket of his shorts. “The place we are staying at is even more beautiful.”
Jungkook has managed to make a compromise with the owner of the place you're staying at during the next seven days. Since it would be for the best if Jimin and Taehyung got their money back, they made a deal on swapping apartments. This way the owner could still make a profit while complying with you.
That alone made you a little bit calm because so far, everything is going well and smoothly.
“Our car should be here in five.” Jungkook informs you and ushers you to go in a shadow.
You obey, feeling already as if you're melting.
“What's our plan for today?”
You haven't really slept during the flight. Jungkook has booked a business class, something you've scolded him for because that's definitely something you haven't paid for when you sent him the money for your flight ticket. There was no need for that eight hour flight, but you both definitely made a good use of it. You turned on a movie and made yourself comfortable while eating snacks. Who knew having a drink on a plane can be actually so relaxing and fun at the same time?
You sit on your suitcase, squinting your eyes at Jungkook who pulls a cap from his suitcase and puts it on your head.
“We're gonna settle in and maybe we could check the outside?”
“Sounds good.”
The car comes around the time Jungkook said it would, an older man with a straw hat on welcomes you and helps you with your things. You both thank him and get inside – luckily – with an air condition on.
While he drives and gives you a quick tour of the road you're driving on, he answers any curious and informative questions Jungkook asks him. You sit silently, smiling at the man whenever he jokes around as you stare out of the window, appreciating the nature around you.
And at that moment you think;
It's a good thing you decided to go.
You've seen the photos of where you were supposed to be staying. All four of you. But since that has changed and the two of you couldn't go, there had to be some changes made. Jungkook informed you about that, so that's no news to you. It would be no use for you and him to share a place designed for four and more people.
Surrounded by nature and sea air, there's a whole street of houses. It's so close to the sea that you can hear the waves in the distance and smell the salted water. Surely, the location and vacation houses are one of the wealthiest ones, and you just can't seem to pry your eyes at what's around you.
You let Jungkook handle everything, after you've grabbed your luggage and bid goodbye to the driver. He talks to the owner, or the person who is in charge of the vacation house you'll be staying at. Shortly after, Jungkook is given keys and after waving off one last person, you finally get out of the sun and get inside.
The first thing you notice is the chilly air hitting your heated bodies, the two of you sighing in delight before you both laugh.
“AC is gonna be our best friend here.” you comment, squinting your eyes as they adjust to the lack of sun.
“Just don't overboost it, yeah? Or else you're gonna end up sick.”
You turn to Jungkook with raised brows, who simply just shrugs as he sets the luggage down.
“Says the person who always has his AC turned on in the car.” you point out the obvious fact you both know.
“My immune system is much better than yours.” he points out back, showing you the tip of his tongue in a teasing manner as you shake your head, trying to hide a smile.
Bickering with someone who knows you well – or best even – is tough.
Now that's done and the two of you don't elaborate to bicker any further, you take the time to look around. The place you've seen from pictures looked different, customized for more people. This house is just as spacious and even though you're standing in the entryway, you can easily tell more people would be able to fit in here.
“Are you sure we're at the right place?” you ask, catching Jungkook sweeping his hair off his forehead with head leaned back. Mentally sighing at the painfully attractive sight, you turn around and admire the place you're in instead.
That's a safer choice anyway.
“It's beautiful, isn't it?” he asks instead, confirming that yes, you're at the right place. “Come on, let's see how it looks in person. The pictures were pretty great.”
You wonder why Jungkook hasn't shared them with you once he was able to switch houses. For sure, you haven't had that much time to talk about it. Everyone was busy with their jobs, you included, and then the accident with Taehyung happened which caused this entire planning to get rushed. Poor Jungkook took care of everything – but you know he's the best at it.
When your mouth drops as you make it to the living room, you notice Jungkook grinning at the side of the entrance to the living room since there is no door. He wanted it to be a surprise.
One that appears to be more than successful.
“Kook–” you stop yourself. The entire side facing the sea is a window wall, giving the best view to the beach and sea.
The floor is a darker wood, giving the room just the right balance of colors since there are a lot of light colors. The white couch is huge, in the shape of U, similar to what Jungkook owns at his place. There is a big beige carpet underneath the coffee table and couch, making it more cozy. A beautiful chandelier hangs down with transparent bulbs which is undoubtedly even more pretty at night.
From up here, there's a porch with a pool and your legs itch to find out how big it is.
It's a one floor beach house, a modern yet cozy one as Jungkook leads you to the right to show you the kitchen. It's a medium sized, smaller than the one he's got and you wonder why it's even here considering you'll get your food brought from the resort.
The house ends from the left sounds but you move to the opposite side, jaw dropping at the beautiful bedroom. First of all, the interior is beyond any words and leaves you breathless. You've never seen something so beautiful in person. You could cry. And Jungkook's joyful grin is not helping at all.
The bed is not against any walls. It sits almost in the middle of the room. There's a panel behind it and further away, it leads you to a spacious bathroom. There are two sinks and a huge mirror – the room matched in turquoise and white colors.
“Jungkook–this is–how much did you spend on this?” you ask, turning to him with a hand on your hip with a frown. “This was definitely much more than you said.”
“Don't worry about it.”
“Jungkook, stop. I'm serious.”
“So am I,” he shrugs, sighing slightly. “I paid a little extra but it wasn't much.”
“I don't believe you.” You narrow your eyes at him as he cheekily grins and shrugs.
“Sounds like a you problem.”
“Jungkook!”
However, your scolding is cut off by him simply walking away. The bed is facing the beach, the same view as you could see in the living room. Palms surround the house which create a little shade from the burning sun.
There are dressers where you could store your clothes and stuff, but you don't pay any more attention to it as you follow Jungkook back to the entryway with a frown settled on your face.
“Jungkook, I'm serious.”
“And so am I, Y/N,” he says simply, dragging your luggage to the living room. “I swear I didn't pay much. The owner wouldn't really have any other place for us. I wanted you to see this beach.”
You raise your brows at him, trying not to crack at the warm and sweet gesture.
“Plus I didn't want to stay anywhere else. So be mad at me all you want, but I'm happy to be here and from the looks of it, so are you.”
“Yes, but–”
“No, buts. Now get ready, we're leaving in twenty.”
You stammer over your words, mustering to ask only one word. “Where?”
“Out. Unless you wanna stay in and rest.”
He says, stopping as he turns around to look at you with raised brow, waiting for your response.
“Ah–no, I am fine with going out.”
“Good.”
And he leaves to the bedroom, “Oh–I hope you don't mind the one bedroom. They didn't have any houses with more rooms left. But I can sleep on the couch.” he calls out from there.
When you don't respond right away, his head pokes out of the corner with a awaiting gaze.
“Why would I mind?” you breathe out, feeling like you just got awestruck.
“Uhh–you want me to elaborate?”
You chuckle nervously, scratching your forearm before you shake yourself out of it and drop the expression. “Yah! You wanted to go out! So go get ready too!”
“Yes, m'am.” he salutes and disappears behind the wall of the bedroom.
You stand there, sighing to yourself and at your fast beating heart.
He's not going to make this easy, is he?
Happiness oozes out of you and as much as you were unsure about this vacation, you're glad the guys managed to talk you out of backing off. In the end, it was your decision to go without Jimin and Taehyung who are very much missed. Though, you're completely obvious to the fact it's going to be challenging.
The heat and raging hormones are not making it any easier for you.
You can control yourself. You can do that as long as there's no impulse from the other side.
This vacation might've not started like you planned, but it started wonderfully without your friends here. It's also a great chance of getting your friendship back where it was. While you're sure the history between you will always be there and it will never go away, you can try to go back and not get pushed to do something silly due to any sort of temptation.
Because that's what Jeon Jungkook is.
Having him right here, next to you while you explore the Island is a great challenge itself. At first, you don't pay any attention to the mentioned temptation. You're fine. You talk, you joke and have a great time exploring the Island. You go out and eat in one of the restaurants, you have the best ice cream that is like the greatest present for your heated bodies. Taehyung and Jimin facetime with you during it, which ultimately makes you miss them more – especially when you show them around and see their pouty faces.
After that, you visit a few local shops – promising each other that you will come back and shop some souvenirs not just for you two but for your friends as well. The heat is too much to spend the rest of the day in a direct sun with no refreshments. And you didn't come here to just stay inside, so you both decide to go to the beach.
You do want to get the best of it since you're about to get your period in the halfway of this vacation. The timing sucks but you won't let it ruin anything.
Quickly going back to the house to change and pack things, you use the close proximity to the sea and settle on the beach there. You decide to walk a little further, closer to people and other tourists where different bars occur. There will be time to enjoy that privacy later.
Although, being left with him alone is all the things you're scared of.
Just focus on you, and your friendship.
“Is here okay?” Jungkook asks, stopping a few meters from the sea.
Looking around, it's a good spot. You're not completely surrounded by the tourists, more to the side where you can enjoy the shade and sun at the same time. There are faint sounds of music coming from the nearby bars, squeals of people's excitement and chatters around you. Beach waves are like a lullaby to your ears, confirming the reality of your presence here.
There are kids as well, not too many but you spot a few in the distance as they beg their parents to go to the water already.
“It's perfect.” Is all it takes for Jungkook to drop the beach blankets down. You help him to get it in the right place, making sure the wind doesn't mess it up.
Air here is far better and you can't wait to get into the water to freshen up.
“I'm gonna get us some drinks.” Jungkook announces once you settle in, pulling out a straw hat he bought while you were visiting different shops. It's the only thing he had to buy.
At first you weren't sure why, it's not exactly his style and you're sure he packed one of his caps. But then, he just puts it on you and shields the top of your head. You lean your head back to give him a look.
“You don't wanna get a heat stroke.” he shrugs, hands on his hips as he stares down at you.
See, it's very hard to keep it casual and think of Jungkook being an annoying friend. While you fully appreciate his caring, it's hard to focus in general. He has a stupid excuse of a button-up, so thin all his tattoos can be seen through the seen through material. It's not even the tattoos itself.
He has it completely unbuttoned, showing off his pecs and abs as the thin material barely covers any of his skin. Jungkook has always been handsome, but you also never had to see your friend like… this.
Iceland would've been a better option than Hawaii.
So far though, you've been strong – even though it doesn't seem like it. While you're completely obvious to Jungkook's body and additional sight of his skin, you just don't allow your eyes to drop there. You keep them solely on Jungkook's face, hoping he doesn't see the inner turmoil you're going through.
“What are you? My dad?” you ask instead, poking the front of the straw hat with a lifted brow.
Jungkook grins, “Don't want you to get sick on our first day.”
“You forgot to put sunscreen on me. And bring a swim wheel.” you comment grumpily.
Something feels odd. It's not like you're truly annoyed by his caring. But looking at the familiarity of this conversation and overall situation, something sits on the tip of your tongue. It's not a word or anything that could be said. It's almost like a taste you can't quite describe.
And when you see Jungkook who just laughs with his head leaned back, shrugging effortlessly at your comment, you realize that perhaps it's the fact that things really are like they were. At least right now. Jungkook treats you like he has before. He's caring, having that one particular look in his eyes you haven't seen in a while.
Or perhaps you're just dramatic and you're seeing things.
Being confused and frustrated at yourself more than ever, luckily Jungkook cuts you off from your never-ending thoughts before you can drive yourself crazy.
“Ah, maybe I should've. We both know you're not too confident in water.”
You gasp, reaching for your sandal which you throw in his direction. He laughs, dodging it perfectly as despite your attack, he still reaches for it and puts it back to the spot, so it won't get lost. It's a detail but leaves you gulping.
“I'm pretty confident in kicking your ass.”
“Alright,” he laughs, not believing a word you're saying which makes you roll your eyes at him. “Whatever you say.”
He confidently backs away with a smirk, laughing when you flip him off and huff out in frustration once he turns around and walks to one of the bars. He slowly walks further and further away, yet you keep your eyes on him.
You lay back, staring at the palm tree above you. The sunlight peeks through the leaves, creating patterns on your heated face and cheeks.
When he comes back, you gulp down the fresh lemon and mint drink without properly tasting it.
“...okay.” Jungkook says, watching you being halfway down the drink – it's alcohol free which doesn't make you look completely insane. “Wanna go for a swim?”
Putting down the drink, you open your mouth just as Jungkook decides to ditch the stupid excuse of a cover-up. He shrugs it off and tosses it onto the sand, brushing his fingers through his black hair. It has gotten long to the point where it sometimes gets into his eyes.
Standing up, you undo the small knot on your white cover-up that looks like a short dress. It slips down your arms and meets the blanket underneath your feet.
“Ready?” you ask, dropping down the silly straw hat Jungkook has gotten you.
“Is this new?” Jungkook questions instead, pointing at your white bikini. It's a cute set. What makes it cute looking and pretty is the ruffled style, yet it's complimenting your body in the nicest way.
“Yeah, I bought it for this trip specially.”
“You did?”
“Yeah, you don't like it?” you ask, looking down at yourself and adjusting your bra that's pushing up your breasts. Not in the overly too much type, enough to show them off though.
In your defense, it didn't look like this on the model when you were ordering it. Luckily, you would say it fits perfectly. Jungkook's silence causes you to look up, almost finding the thought of him not liking it or thinking of it negatively scary. You mentally gag at yourself. Since when do you care what others think?
To be fair, sometimes you do – if those people are close to you and it also happens what it is about. But your choice of fashion matters only to you. You won't let anyone change the way you perceive yourself and your individual style.
As much as you're independent in this entire matter, you would lie if you didn't say you don't like compliments. Also, there is something about Jungkook's compliments. You almost gag for the second time when just the idea of it makes your stomach tickle.
“Are you staring at my tits, Jeon?”
Caught red-handed, Jungkook's slightly scrunched eyes from the sun widened in a split second. “You don't usually refer to them as tits.” he comments instead.
You chuckle at the ridiculous response, “I usually don't have to refer to them at all. But you were staring.”
“Can you blame the man?” he shrugs, stealing a quick glance again as you give him the look he knows very well. The one where your eyebrow has been lifted for what seems like the hundredth time in the span of thirty minutes.
“Jeon, for this to work, you gotta behave yourself.”
Jungkook frowns at the nickname, “I prefer Kook better.”
“Jeon.” you correct just to annoy him. Deep down you cackle at the way his brows scrunch together in the softest way possible.
“What do you want me to do? They're just right there! We were talking about your bikini, it's not my fault.”
“You don't have to stare at my breasts though.”
“Did it make you feel weird?”
“Well–”
“See? You don't not like it!” he exclaims, pointing at you accusingly.
“I barely said anything!”
“You don't have to, I know that look.”
“This is ridiculous,” you mutter. “Besides, you didn't answer. You don't like it?”
“Are you seriously asking me that?” he deadpans.
“Um–yeah?” you deadpan back.
He sighs, “I'm not gonna talk about your bikini because you're gonna accuse me of staring.”
“I don't have to accuse you, you were staring!” you laugh.
You're not going to lie. It does compliment you.
Even though you're here to focus on the two of you, in a different way than you were a few weeks ago, you should hate how Jungkook's attention makes your ego grow.
“You told me to behave, so I'm gonna keep my mouth shut.”
“Why?” you question, not doing a great way to show your excitement.
“Oh, now you want me to talk?” he laughs, “Nah, you wouldn't be able to handle it.”
“Cocky as always.”
He shrugs, “I never hid it.”
You nibble on your bottom lip, “But no, be serious right now.”
“Oh, I have been serious this whole time.”
“Jungkook!” you whine, “Is it not too much?”
“If I told you yes, would you change?”
You stay silent for a moment before simply saying; “No.”
“Then no, it's perfect.”
“Jungkook!”
He stays silent for a moment, throwing his head back as his eyes squint shut from the trails of sun hitting his face. “God, woman.”
“What?” you mumble innocently.
Since when do you care what anyone thinks? Jungkook questions mentally, trying to keep his thoughts straight before he gets the courage to look you in the eyes.
“You look beautiful.”
You stare, battling with hundreds of things happening inside you. The heat in your cheeks gets almost unbearable and you do what you seem to be best at. Running away and playing it cool. “Yah, don't say it like that!”
“Like what?” Jungkook asks, brows pinched in confusion.
“So seriously.”
“I am serious,” Jungkook informs you, making it worse for your cheeks and the turmoil that's happening in the pit of your stomach. Why did you have to open your mouth? “Now let's go into that fucking water.”
“Woah.”
“Yeah, woah.”
“What's bothering you?” you ask, trailing behind him trying to catch up to him when he suddenly turns around and nears the sea.
“Nothing,” he says casually, dipping his ankles into the chilly water. You open your mouth but before you can say something that could potentially lead to a conversation you would eventually back out of, Jungkook splashes your heated body.
You gasp, finding him smirking. Before you can get him back for it, he runs to the water and dips his entire body in. He emerges out of it in seconds, the water reaching just somewhere around his hips. You watch droplets of water run down his entire body, hair completely soaked from it as he wipes his face.
“Are you staring at my abs, Y/L/N?” Jungkook shouts, your eyes widening as embarrassment makes it onto your face. Can he be any louder?
You look around for a second, trying to see if someone is witnessing this embarrassing moment. There's no one that seems to care, besides a group of girls meters away from you as they seem to find a certain interest in Jungkook. You purse your lips, looking at Jungkook.
“Y'know, if I should behave, so should you.”
“I don't feel like behaving,” you call out to him, watching him as he creates waves with his hands as he effortlessly runs his hands through the water. “They are just there, you know?”
You get him back for it, still watching him and witnessing his lips curling into a knowing smirk. “Oh, are they?”
“Mhm.”
“Get in here.”
“No.” you giggle, laughing when Jungkook grins and shakes his head at you.
“I'm gonna get you.”
“Come here then.”
And fuck, he does. You laugh through it all, trying to back away as you promise him you will go deeper, though not fully out of respect to the sea you have. He doesn't listen. As soon as his arms wrap around your body, molding into his almost too naturally and perfectly. But you're caught up in the moment and in your giggles, hearing Jungkook's laugh as you squeal when the coldish water wets you.
You cling to Jungkook's side, “There are no sharks, right?”
Jungkook snickers, “Of course there are. Somewhere in the sea at least.”
You nudge him, but Jungkook holds you close since he can reach better than you. He's also a way better swimmer than you. “Don't say that.”
“Look at those kids,” he says and points to the side. There are kids on their floaties, of course with their parents around. “They're not scared of sharks.”
“They could be dessert for all I care, I'm not gonna be one.” you joke, hearing Jungkook laugh as he doesn't allow you to inch closer to the shore.
“You could be mine, but you wanted a break.”
You gasp, tickling his side as he barely falters and just gives you the teasing grin. “Don't say stuff like that. I told you.”
“Alright, I won't.” he promises, imitating his lips being locked as he throws the imaginary key far to the sea. “I was joking.”
“Were you?” you ask, pretending to be teasing and amused but the truth is, there's a part of you trying to know the truth.
“I guess you'll never know. I told you I'm shut.” he says with a grin like the annoying brat he can be.
And for the sake of yourself, you decide to leave it be. You splash his face instead, playing it off like you seem to do often. For your own sake.
Jungkook has always been the adventurous type. You've heard all kinds of stories from Taehyung and Jimin, some of them back from Busan or from the times you haven't been present in their lives back then. Jungkook would be up for anything that could get him the thrill and although, there weren't that many opportunities considering everyone's busy lives – you could see it from his mere decision of being up to all sorts of fun that involves adrenaline.
So you shouldn't be surprised he practically stuttered and almost jumped from excitement once he spotted a place where jet skis can be rented. You've read his mind even before he opened his mouth and dragged you there.
After swimming and messing around in the sea for a while, you went for a walk and explored the beach, and tasted a few good snacks. You should've known it's not ending with that.
And that's where you ended up. Sitting behind Jungkook, both of you wearing safety vests and you clutching to his back, arms around his waist. You live in the moment, focusing on each activity the two of you do.
The sun is now setting down, air is still warm but with the sun slowly disappearing, it's not boiling hot. You're exhausted and your body screams for a good cold shower and bed. On your way back to the beach house, you walk in silence and enjoy the sound of waves around you.
You're the first one to occupy the bathroom, taking the chance to not be in the presence of Jungkook's naked abs and chest. As long as you keep your mind and body busy, there's a low chance of you overthinking and letting your mind wander somewhere where it simply should not.
Not wanting to dwell any further of how this might have been a mistake, you take it as a test to prove your friendship. Jungkook is a temptation that has grown over the few months you get to experience something you haven't before.
As the water dribbles down your naked body, wetting every inch of your skin, you think it's too soon to want everything to be different or back like it was. Because it never will be. And for that, you're scared of what's about to come. There are things you can control and then there are things that simply will evolve into something. The feeling of the unknown and fear of ruining your friendship with Jungkook genuinely scares you.
But again. You think of it more positively, you have to or else you're going to lose your mind. Jungkook's attractiveness and the fact you're attracted to him won't go anywhere. At least not in the near future and it's something you need to come to terms with. Like you said, it's too soon to think of it any differently.
While you're here to focus on your friendship, perhaps you should focus on yourself more as well.
As you wash yourself in a nice scent of orange and vanilla, you apply a body lotion you've brought to make your skin soft. While you do that and start doing unnecessary steps as your night routine, one you definitely don't do when you've spent the day not wearing make-up specifically, you tell yourself you just pamper yourself instead of trying to look good for someone else.
Your skin is glowing and hair almost dried by the time you join Jungkook in the living room, wearing one of your night gowns.
He's on his phone, barely glancing at you before he takes a double-take and eyes you up and down.
“What?”
You're the first one that breaks the short-lived silence. Any nightgown is a small portion of what could be considered as your sleepwear. Jungkook out of everyone knows that, because he's seen you in everything you usually sleep in. Back in the day, you would never get the courage to let him see you sleep in anything other than oversized shirts and shorts. Even thinking of wearing tank tops made you feel weird, especially if he god forbid could see your nipples peeking through.
This white nightgown is beautiful, but by no means designed to make men salivate or suggest anything other than having something nice to wear. Besides, the material is thin and light which is perfect for this warm weather. Plus, you and Jungkook have agreed or not having the AC turned on unless it's completely necessary. Not only is it not healthy but you're also very sensitive to coldness. Getting sick on this vacation is just not on your list, therefore you're trying to eliminate that chance as much as possible.
He narrows his eyes at you, trying to figure you out and you realize it right away before he can even open his mouth and offer you any sort of response.
“Oh, don't get this wrong. I packed my best stuff on this vacation and I didn't know we were sharing a bedroom.”
“I haven't said anything.” he says, watching you as if you were a predator as you get closer.
“You didn't have to, it's all over your face.”
As much as you enjoy his eyes on you, which always compliments you – it's one of those moments when you hide behind confidence and ignore the warmth that spreads inside the pit of your stomach. There's no point in thinking how many words from him or simple eye-contact would it take for him to take matters into his own hands. Or more like you.
But you can't think about that. You can't wonder about it.
“I would suggest wearing something different but I won't.”
He smiles and it's so brief you barely catch it. “And why is that?”
“Because it's not my problem, of course.” you tease. “I'm wearing this for myself.”
“I never initiated anything different,” he tells you, tilting his head to the side while he studies your face. He doesn't even lock his phone as he tosses it beside him. “You should sleep in whatever you're comfortable in.”
“I will.”
“Good.”
You both stare at each other, trying not to crack a good laugh. It's a weird moment. Something between joking, amusement and tension that boils. If this happened a few weeks ago, he would probably have you underneath him as you're speaking. And the image is so explicit that it leaves a warm coat all over your body and you have to take a step back.
“But seriously now, you don't feel weird because of this?”
“If I said I am, would you change?”
“Of course not.”
He cracks a grin, “Then why asking?”
“I'm curious. I don't want to make you feel weird and this wasn't my intention. Besides, this doesn't expose anything major–and you've seen everything–”
“I have and for someone who doesn't care and wears this for herself, you're awfully explanatory.”
Your eyes narrow into thin slits as you glare at him, sending him a warning look that's easily met with a boyish grin from him.
“Now that you're finally out and finished making yourself look good for yourself, I'm gonna take a shower.”
Jungkook's laugh booms through the room and bounces off the walls when he manages to escape from your leg aiming at his buttcheek. To be fair, you were there for longer than you initially planned.
“Are you making fun of me, Jeon?” you call out to him, trying to sound pissed as a comfort glazes your soul.
“When have I ever?” He calls out back, already in the bathroom and hidden from any threats your legs might make.
It's been ages since you've had such a good sleep.
Exhaustion and the amount of activities you've done yesterday ultimately had a good share of it. The air here is different. The faint sounds of waves have been an additional part of your sleep. No cars passing by or city lights peeking through your blinds, or even occasional footsteps of your neighbors above your head.
You understand why people travel so far to relax. Sunlight peeks through the wide open window you've left and lets the chilly air get through the night. It felt so lovely that you fell asleep as soon as you closed your eyes.
Traces of sun touch your skin and make it warm, warmer than you've appreciated though and that alone tells you you're about to have another hot day ahead of you. Jungkook has briefly informed you of today's plans, always keeping in mind what you want to do but since you're more of a tagging alone vacation type, you just agree with whatever.
You're here to relax and if you see something you would like to see or try, you'll feel open to do so. It's something you've assured him right before your body slumped into the comfiest bed you've ever laid in. Not even Jungkook's massive bed can compete with it.
Or maybe it was the exhaustion all along.
Speaking of Jungkook, you tilt your head sideways to check on him. Not before you rub your eyes off the sleepiness. A sight of Jungkook's exposed back stares at you right back. Similar to the position you've just woken up from, he's sleeping on his stomach while arms underneath the white pillow as he hugs it to his face. You can't see his face and for a moment, you think it's better that way.
Whoever would see you right now, they would get a totally bad perception of the two of you. You look nothing like best friends who occasionally share bed.
Overthinking is not a huge part of your life. At least you think so. But ever since months have passed by and you've decided to take a break from the temptation laying right beside you, you feel like you've done nothing but that. Overthinking every second.
You believe everything happens for a reason. And while you told yourself you're not going to overthink it and focus on your friendship instead, you do wonder if there's a true reason for why you and him ended up spending this vacation alone.
Sure, Taehyung got injured and couldn't travel while Jimin couldn't go because of last changes at his work. It shouldn't mean more but just a mere coincidence that consists of bad luck and life.
Like you've told yourself many times before, you will take this opportunity to focus on your decision of why you decided to take a break. Besides, you can't think about it too much and you do have to put lust aside, focusing on something that is far more sacred and important to you.
You've no idea how long you lay there with your eyes open, watching the beautiful view out of your bed. You haven't checked your phone, something you would've done by now if you were at home. But not at the moment. You want to fully enjoy this and stay in the present – because right now it feels like you don't need anything else.
You haven't realized how much you needed to get away. Perhaps the reason for this vacation is not to tell you something secretive, but it's for you to recharge and come back stronger than ever.
And maybe there's no reason for it. Maybe you should just freaking enjoy it and not overthink every second.
You almost groan out loud, ready to spring out of the bed to stop yourself from thinking and being alone with your mind. The soft groan coming from the person next to you stops you and for some dumb reason, you catch yourself closing your eyes as if to pretend you were sleeping.
Jungkook tosses around and stretches his limbs, groaning raspily under his breath as he turns to his back. He's back to sleeping, so do you think before you slowly open your eyes and catch the perfect sight of him doing the same a second after. He blinks, frowning slightly as if he realizes where he is.
Witnessing that is cute. Wait. What.
You widen your eyes and quickly shake that thought away. Calling him cute, even if it's in your mind seems illegal. Even though you've done that many times before. Years ago to be exact.
“Mornin',” he rasps out, hand reaching to his face as long fingers rub the sleep and tiredness off those puffy eyes.
Muttering the same greeting, you watch him close them for a moment as a soft groan makes it past his lips. “How long have you been awake?” he asks sleepily.
Long enough to watch you sleeping, you admit in your mind but it sounds ridiculous even there. You shouldn't have these thoughts anyway, no matter how honest you are.
“Just a few minutes,” you reply instead, rolling onto your back as you stare at the ceiling.
A momentary silence has never been an issue with Jungkook. In fact, you don't find it uncomfortable but for some reason, having him so close feels weirdly familiar and odd. It's different now but it is not at the same time. You're both in a completely different state. While you realize it's in your head and sleepy Jungkook has no idea, you decide to cut off the silence and fill it with a conversation.
“It's already ten.” Your eyes drift to the digital clock that sits on the nightstand on your side.
“Fuuck,” Jungkook sighs, rubbing his face again. “Already?”
You nod, glancing at him to find his arm tucked under his head, his face turned to you as he offers you a sleepy smile. Gulping down, you sit up and pat down your hair to make it less messy.
“What are we doing first today?”
Not offering him any more attention with your eyes, your feet slip into your slides easily as he remains silent for a moment. Your back burns, the traces of his eyes are without a doubt the reason for it.
“We should eat something first, then I wanna rent a car so it's easier to travel on the island. And then bungee jumping.”
“Fuck, you still wanna do that?” you whine a little, glancing over your shoulder to find him grinning at your evident disappointment.
“You only live once.”
“That's a stupid reason to do stuff like that,” you point out.
You're all up for Jungkook having fun and trying new things he hasn't. However, sometimes your type of fun and interest differs from Jungkook's and once again, you're reminded of his adventurous self. There's no way in hell you'll go through that. He knows that.
“But if something happens to you, I want your car.”
Jungkook snorts out loud, your own lips curling into an amused grin as your feet pat into the bathroom.
“Or no, your apartment will do.” you raise your voice as you call out to him, making sure he hears you.
He does, along with the amusement and teasing in your soft voice.
“How generous you are,” he calls back. “You wouldn't survive without me.”
You chuckle under your breath, washing your face in cold water. You're done within a minute, patting down the remains of it.
“Oh, here we go. Cocky much in the morning?”
“You should know that by now.”
You jump at how fast and close the answer comes. Jungkook stands between the door frame, leaning against the left side of it. Crossing his arms over his chest, you try to not stare too much at the display of his skin and muscles.
Reaching for your toothbrush instead, you focus on your task instead and stare at your reflection in the mirror. Your cheeks feel warm all of a sudden and you're sure it has nothing to do with Hawaii's warm weather.
Jungkook watches you in silence. You're not sure if he still has a cocky grin attached to his lips or if he's simply just watching, but you know he is. You can feel it. And then you hear him stepping closer until he reaches for his own toothbrush. The familiar scent of him wraps around you once again as you give him a look with an arched brow.
Is this his way of keeping his distance?
Well, to be fair he never said he will keep his distance. Your idea of how this is going to work is simply to focus on your relationship, rather than the physical side of it and what was left of it.
Although, you have no idea how him standing shirtless next to you is going to help that. You welcome the challenge though.
You two ignore a lot of facts that surround you. So you continue to brush your teeth next to each other like it's the most normal thing ever. And maybe it is.
But back then none of you were shirtless or exposed enough that there is only so little left to each other's imagination. Is imagination even a thing here?
You've seen every inch of each other's bodies. You don't have to imagine anything because you've seen it all. You've felt it all.
“Do you mind?”
You straighten up once you spit the remains of mouthwash. Jungkook turns on the shower, checking the temperature as he's visibly ready to take his morning shower.
“Unless you wanna join me.”
It's the cunning smirk that slowly sneaks onto his face that makes you scrunch up the small face towel that's been used and throw it in his direction. It bounces off his puffed out chest and you hate how he laughs, ignoring your attempt to silently tell him to fuck off.
“Boundaries, Jeon.” You remind him.
“You never minded them before.” He continues to tease you and you snarl at him, throwing him a glare.
“Now I do.”
“Alright, alright. Sorry.” He bows and you groan, flipping him off before you close the bathroom door with a loud thud.
His humorous laugh behind the door accompanies you long enough until you're far away to breathe it out. You'll have to do that a lot when it comes to Jungkook.
Your soft smile is caught in the reflection of a sparkling clean microwave and you quickly look away, ignoring the previously stated facts.
“Kook, are you really sure?”
After you had breakfast, walked around a bit and rented a car like Jungkook said, you stand in a queue that's slowly but surely shortening.
He would've actually laughed if he didn't glance at you and see your widened eyes, as you stare at staff putting a harness on people and preparing them for the jump. Whenever someone jumps with a loud scream, some people as a pair, he sees your breath hitching and stopping for a moment.
Of course he is sure. He's mentioned this a couple of times throughout the years but he never really had the opportunity to do this. So you're aware of not only his interest but excitement as well.
Unfortunately for him, this is a hard no for you and even though you would do anything for Jungkook – go special lengths such as pretending to be his girlfriend – this is where you draw the line. It's comical.
“You sure you don't wanna jump with me?” He asks instead, laughing when he sees your dumbfounded look. Is he serious?
He had to sign a freaking liability waiver that he's doing this at his own risk. While you're aware this is a standard contract for all these kinds of sports, you've almost thrown up when the woman handed it to him and he signed it.
“Worth a shot.” he mumbles.
It's laughable as you stand beside him, shifting uncomfortably from side to side as if you were the one doing this. Meanwhile Jungkook is close to jumping from excitement as he watches other participants before him in a complete awe and excitement.
“Have you not watched a horror movie when the most ridiculous stuff happens once people do this kind of stuff?”
He gives you a side glance, “Are you talking about Final Destination?” he stops for a second, “I don't remember there was a bungee jumping scene.”
“It's not about bungee jumping itself.” you point out, growing frustrated that he's practically just making fun of it.
“You should stop watching horror movies.”
Your response comes right away. “I would have, if you guys didn't force me every time.”
He snickers, “Y'know, for someone who's always very considerate and empathic, you sure know when to talk about the right stuff.”
“Talking about all the risks this includes is right,” you inform him. “I'm worried.”
“No one wants to hear there's a risk of a plane falling when you're about to board the plane.”
Oh shit, he's right. You know he is, yet you couldn't help yourself and hoped that he's going to change his mind at the last minute. Obviously, for your own selfish reasons.
“Flying a plane is different though.” You still stubbornly mumble, hearing another scream from one of the participants which makes you flinch.
“The point is not,” he points out but as you open your mouth to argue, he grabs you by your shoulders and has you standing in front of him. “Stop worrying, I would do this with or without you.”
“Damn, how sweet of you.” you mutter, causing him to laugh. “Couldn't we ride horses or something instead?”
“We could still do that. After I jump.”
“Oh god, don't say it like that!” you whine. He laughs, wrapping his arm around your shoulders as he hugs you to his side.
“Taehyung would jump with me.”
“Taehyung would probably be drunk out of his ass if he happened to jump.”
You look at each other, laughing before the woman's staff calls out for Jungkook. She asks if you're jumping together and you wildly shake your head at her, stepping aside as you let her put a harness on Jungkook.
He's grinning, watching her excitedly as she says all kinds of information about safety to him. You don't listen to that. For a moment you just focus on the happiness and excitement on him that has been evident ever since you stepped out of the car.
Their conversation is a little lost on you, therefore your brows are furrowed in utter confusion when Jungkook sits down and gets his legs secured.
“Wait–what are you doing?” you ask.
All people before him either sat when they were jumping or they looked as if they were lying, in a flying position. Jungkook puts a helmet on, shooting you a thumbs up as he ignores your ready to flip out.
He's being hoisted up, upside down as he grins like a kid at you.
“What the hell, are you crazy, Jungkook?” you yell, hands gripping the railing for dear life.
You thought this center did just those positions and Jungkook flying upside down just never crossed your mind, even though you know people jump like that too.
“See you soon.”
“Jungkook!”
But before he can focus on your angry expression, he flies you a kiss and is let go. You yelp, wincing as you his body flies into the distance in a rapid motion. You can't help but watch, your eyes lingering on what seems like a dot down there the entire time.
“My boyfriend jumped as well, a couple of times actually.” Someone says beside you and you don't look, you can't as your eyes stay on Jungkook. But from the voice, her accent tells you she's local. “If it makes you feel better, no accidents happened here. A few people threw up but that's it.”
You offer her a nervous chuckle, not really thinking Jungkook will be throwing up. In the worst case scenario, he would want to jump again.
“See?” She stands closer, taking a closer look as they start pulling him up and you sigh in relief. “Your boyfriend is safe. Is he the throwing up type?”
You finally glance at her, seeing her tan face and curly hair surrounding it.
“He's not my boyfriend,” you tell her, “He's my best friend. Psycho best friend it seems.”
She laughs but her eyes linger on you, looking as if she doesn't believe you. You subtly roll your eyes. You know exactly what she's thinking. You've seen that reaction many times before and by now, it no longer phases you.
Everything else becomes a white noise and the girl beside you is long forgotten as the cord springs back to its original space and with that, they pull Jungkook slowly up. They help him balance. Letting go of the railing, you wait for him to move aside so he's not that close to the edge as it's another person's turn.
But none of that matters and when Jungkook finds you at your original spot, he smirks. “Missed me?”
“You idiot!” you curse, punching his chest before you hug him. He laughs, chest vibrating as he hugs you back.
“I would jump again but I wouldn't wanna give you a heart attack.”
You smack him again, giving the girl that still stands there a knowing look. Jungkook's eyes move toward her for a moment, wondering who she is but his attention is back at you as you breathe out loudly.
“You're crazy, you know that?”
He shrugs, effortlessly running his fingers through his hair. “I'm crazy about a lot of things.”
Rolling your eyes, you nudge your head toward the exit before he changes his mind and you'll be charged for a murder. “Let's go.”
He listens, but not before he tickles your side for a good measure, earning another smack.
He's a crazy idiot for making you worry like that.
“Awww, you were so worried about your Kookie?”
Baring your teeth at Taehyung's huge grin that displays on Jungkook's phone screen, he's a lucky person that you're currently sitting at one of the restaurants near the beach. There are too many people for you to tell him to fuck off.
You knew the moment Jungkook decided to accept the video call, they would have a field day. Honestly, they make the situation way more dramatic than it was. Luckily for them, you know your friends and their annoying teasing that is purely raged by your annoyed reactions. It's what makes their eyes lit up until you put a stop to their charades.
That's what you get for being the only woman in your inner and close circle.
You glare at Jungkook, non-verbally asking him do you see what you did?
As always, Taehyung asked about your day and since he can't be a part of it, he likes to hear details. He doesn't mind it, as he assured you many times. You still feel bad that he can't be here with you. Jimin too.
And luckily for Jungkook, he briefly mentioned you almost shit your pants when you saw him actually doing it. He wasn't really making fun of you, until Taehyung took the matters into his hands and turned it into a teasing battle that you're a victim of.
You lean toward the table where Jungkook holds his phone, facing you as he watches your interaction with Taehyung with amusement sparkling in his eyes. “Fuck both of you,” you whisper, making sure Taehyung hears it.
He does.
It makes his grin even bigger.
“You should've seen him. He jumped upside down.”
“Isn't that what people do when they bungee jump?” Taehyung asks, met with another huff coming out of you.
“Yes, but dozens of people before him didn't jump upside down.” you inform him with a sass, seeing him put his hands up in surrender.
“Honestly, you're like an old married couple. You scold him and he fucking enjoys it.”
Rolling your eyes, you adjust the napkin that's sitting on your lap. It's getting dark now. Until the adventurous day, you wanted to have a calm dinner by the beach. Tomorrow's plan is to enjoy at least a half of the day there, relaxing. No adrenaline sports.
“Are you even scared of anything?” you ask Jungkook, lifting up both your brows.
“I'm scared of many things.”
“Yeah and you're one of them.” Taehyung butts in. Jungkook rolls his eyes and so do you.
“You guys make it seem as if I torture you on daily basis.”
“Well, you can be scary sometimes.”
“You know what, Tae?” you press your lips together in a fake smile.
“Wha–”
You don't give him a chance to respond, ending the call. Jungkook snickers, pulling his phone to him as he checks the screen. You sit back with a satisfied smile.
“You know Tae… He would tease shit out of everyone and everything.”
“Oh, you're not so innocent either.” you point out with a chuckle.
He frowns, momentarily pausing as he reads out a message. “He just texted me–fucking rude.”
“Send him a kissing emoji, he's gonna know it's me.”
Jungkook shakes his head with a chuckle, typing something there. He locks his phone, putting it away as it has become a strict and unsaid rule to not have phones when you're out. To be honest, it happened naturally and you're guessing, both of you want to enjoy this time without the internet. Unless it's to make calls of course.
“Besides, you were shaking when I danced on the table. You were practically shitting your pants back then–do you see me teasing you for it?”
He frowns, “When?”
“The NYE party? Jin's cabin?”
Quiet follows for a moment as the mention of one of the very significant nights comes to the surface. Not even the waves in the background can wash out the slight odd vibe in the air. So much happened there.
“You remember that?”
“Faintly, but Taehyung filled me in.” you shrug.
“That was different,” he simply says.
“Different how? I was having fun and you begged me to come down.”
“Yes, because you were wasted out of your ass. I had all safety measures taken care of, while you were dancing, wasted wearing heels.”
You purse your lips.
“So don't compare those two.”
He doesn't sound angry, he's strictly informative and you wonder what he's so defensive about. Perhaps the memories from that night aren't exactly pleasant. You might've looked like you were having the time of your life, but you were going through hell back then.
“Damn, alright. Point taken.” you mutter, seeing him roll his eyes but his lips crack a grin.
“Just don't dance on the table this time.”
“Why would I do that?” you laugh.
“To get back at me.”
It's silly. You wouldn't do that and he knows that. There it is. It's the innocent teasing you've missed. Innocent. That's what you need.
You still reach toward the wine glass as you gulp it down. A tight smile is the last thing you offer Jungkook before you dig into your meal.
It's the next and second day of you officially being here.
Over the short period of your stay, it's crazy to realize how used to you've become to the new world around you. You and Jungkook have fallen into the routine of waking up without any alarm, not bothering yourselves to set one so you could do as many things as you can during your stay.
Both of you relax and let things happen naturally, with a bit of planning because you still want to have fun and experience fun things. It's not hectic at all.
Jungkook drags you to learn how to surfboard and while he's a natural talent (another of course), you're having just as much fun even though you're nowhere near Jungkook's level. You taste the most delicious food until you can't eat anymore, worrying you're going to have a stomach ache if you won't stop at the right time.
Now you're laying on the beach blanket with eyes closed, listening to the waves that are always there.
Jungkook has gone to grab you some alcohol free drinks, cold drinks, after you both agreed on having them. It's been a while since he left, so you crack your eyes open and squint at the bright sun even though you've been lying in the shade.
You look around. A part of people playing beach volleyball, tanning or swimming in the water, you don't spot him right away. Until you would recognize his figure everywhere and from miles away. He's bringing his drink with him, staring at the sand under his bare feet and you can't help but watch him the entire time.
His hair is still a bit wet from swimming that he decided on earlier. Jungkook knows how to relax and you've seen him relaxing more than ever here. However, he still needs to get active somehow so every few minutes, he decides to do something. It's quite laughable and adorable, considering he would be lifting weights if he was back at home.
He's passing by the volleyball court that someone provisionally made and entertained a bunch of tourists that were looking for a bit of sport and fun. You're supposed to go jet skiing with Jungkook tomorrow, so you will save that later and just bask in the sun for now.
Your thoughts fade away just as they naturally came when you spot a group of girls, calling out to Jungkook which stops in his tracks and looks at them with curious eyes. His mouth stretches into a smile as he nods, looking around with drinks in his hand until one of the girls points toward the little table next to their deck chairs. He sets it there carefully before he pats his hands over his swim trunks. Another girl eagerly hands him something which you soon realize is a phone.
They pose for him as Jungkook snatches a few pictures of them. Sitting in the distance for a good minute, he keeps taking pictures of them as they pose in typical poses with the beach and sea behind them.
It's pointless to mention they're all wearing bikinis. You're not one to judge and you would never criticize their bodies but shit, they all look good and definitely stand out with their different body types. They're hot and you don't have to be a man to conclude that.
They chat for a while and you hate yourself for growing slightly annoyed at Jungkook's absence and clear interest in whatever conversation they have. Minutes seem like hours and you look away, watching your surroundings. God, you're pathetic. You act as if your eyes don't move in their direction every now and then.
Until you're staring at the sea in front of you and notice Jungkook's nearing. He sets your drinks down. “Here you go, but be careful when drinking. It's cold.”
Cold? All the ice probably melted until you stopped chatting with the girls.
Pressing your lips together, you nod understandingly and take a sip so you bite your tongue and don't say something that could spiral into any sort of confrontation. What's the deal? You're not even mad at him. You're mad at him for being bothered.
It's okay. They just wanted a group photo and Jungkook was passing by. No big deal.
You sigh, giving him a smile as you look at the nice pink colors your strawberry drink's having.
“I met some girls on my way here. They're about to play volleyball. They ask me to join, you wanna join too?”
You freeze for a second, only your eyes sending him a glance. Of fucking course.
Can you blame them though? Jungkook's hot and has been catching women's gazes every time he comes out. They're shooting their shots and who are you to stand in their way? You've learned from your past mistakes when it came to Ester or another girl in Jungkook's life. Plus, you're on a vacation and they're strangers.
“Nah, you go. I'm gonna sit here and fangirl.”
He lifts his brow, “You sure?”
“Yeah.”
He eyes you suspiciously. “I'll stay if you want me to.”
You give him a dumbfounded look. “I'm not your mother, Kook. Go have fun.” you chuckle.
“Alright.” he nods, standing up. “I'll be right there if you need anything.”
“I'm all good,” you assure him. “Go kick their asses.”
He laughs, shaking his head. “They're girls, Y/N.”
He heads back to them, unaware when you mutter under your breath; “So?”
At first, you thought there's no reason for you to dig deeper in things that don't matter and would show overtime. You've stuck to your own little world, relaxing and checking your phone every now and then. You've also watched the volleyball game.
Interesting to watch, you may say.
Jungkook's in his element and you're not exactly talking about the female audience around him. Some guys joined them too and you soon realize they know the girls, or at least are familiar with them. Jungkook's team is winning. No doubt there and you find yourself smiling whenever he shoots, and the ball hits the sand on the opposite side of the other team. You silently cheer for him.
For a second you think of recording him and sending it to Jimin and Taehyung. But knowing Taehyung, he would thirst over the women playing the game rather than the real meaning of the video. Perhaps you're a bit selfish because you definitely don't need to hear about how hot those women are. Because that's what they are.
They're women.
But you should've expected this to happen. It's what you maybe wanted to happen. It's a great opportunity to fully move on. There will be many occasions and situations like this. You shouldn't be mad.
So why the fuck your lips turn downwards like you've been kicked to the stomach?
Jungkook comes back after running with everyone to the water to freshen up. He yells something to them when walking out of the sea, grinning from ear to ear. You feel like an idiot. How can you be so bothered when he seems happy?
“Hey, they want to jet ski for a bit. You wanna join?”
Jet skiing is fun, you would go but you stop yourself from nodding because of your own partially selfish reasons. “No, you go.”
“I know we're supposed to go tomorrow and we will–”
“Kook, it's no big deal,” you laugh, “We can go tomorrow.”
“You sure you don't wanna go? They're all nice.”
You're sure they are.
“Maybe I will join you later or something.”
“They wanna play volleyball again, so you can join, then.”
“Yeah, sure.” you smile, giving him a thumbs up as he gulps more of the drink until it's finished.
You wave at him as he joins them again, going to rent the jets. You sigh, groaning silently at yourself. A part of you wanted to join them just to stick with Jungkook. It's okay for him to have fun with someone else.
Your throat feels tight when you see the woman sticking to his side. Her caramel skin glistens under the sun rays and she looks straight out of any male fantasy. You've seen so many different models coming from your model agency, but this one takes the cake and you're not sure if she's a model.
Her curves are thicker than the models you usually see. She's wearing a revealing bikini, her breasts almost spilling out of the bra but it's not because of that. It's because she's gorgeous. She's different from Kiko. She's different from you.
You would guess she might not be Jungkook's type. But then he looks down at her, smiling widely as he fastens her vest and something kicks inside you.
“Hey–”
Your head moves quickly toward the male with full on abs, nearing you carefully as he chuckles when you give him a glare.
“The guy–Jungkook?” he stops for a moment, “He told us you're his friend.”
Friend. That stings for a split second.
“I am, and?”
He chuckles, not put off by your raised brow and dangerous eyes. The man's skin is tanned and his dark wet hair is pushed back, showing you his sharp jawline.
“And I wanted to check on you and ask if you really don't wanna join.”
Oh god, he must think you're some kind of introvert that avoids all social interactions. Little does he know you did it for your and Jungkook's sake.
You glance back at them, Jungkook sitting on a jet ski as the girl sits behind him, hugging him from behind. Your throat goes dry and you swallow down the lump that suddenly appears there.
“Officially, you don't have to if you do–”
You roll your eyes at the familiar sentence and you grow slightly annoyed at that. You brush any sand that might appear on your moisturized skin.
“Y'know what? I was starting to get bored.”
His smile grows and he looks you up and down. Not in the disgusting and perverted way, but in an almost challenging way as he smirks.
“What about my things though?” you look down at your phone.
“We can leave it in the bar there. They always look after our things when we do stuff like this.”
“Always?”
“We're here for the third time.”
“We.”
“Some of our friends. But we always meet someone new too, so they join us.”
Just like Jungkook right now.
“Oh, so you're the friendly type?”
He chuckles, “Not always. Just for specific people.”
And then there's the look in his eyes. Challenging and telling you more than his lips are. Oh god. He's flirting with you.
You grab your and Jungkook's phones, not wanting them to get stolen. When you straighten and balance yourself, he holds out his hand for you to take. You slap his hand, brushing past him. “Let's go.”
You hear his amused chuckle behind you as he guides you toward the bar. After your stuff is taken care of and the staff is obviously familiar with him, you join the others.
“Guys, someone's gonna join us after all.” He calls out and you realize you don't know his name.
Jungkook is in the middle of conversation, grinning as he looks up curiously. His smile falls when he spots you and you almost lift your brow at him.
“Cool!”
“Great!”
“I'm Nat, what's your name?”
All kinds of questions and reactions are thrown at you. Welcoming and warm which you're glad for.
You introduce yourself, feeling a hand on the back of your back, not going any lower out of respect as the man who brought you here, guides you to one of the jets.
“Mind sharing this one with me, Y/N?” he asks, handing you the vest.
“No,” you say lightly and feigning innocence. “Do you?”
“Of course not.”
“You could at least tell me your name. Y'know, in case something happens to me.”
“What's fun in that?”
“So you're also the mysterious type?” Cocking your brow at him in challenge, he smirks.
“Gabriel.”
He excuses himself for a minute, to grab his own vest as you put the one he handed you on.
“I thought you didn't wanna go.” Jungkook suddenly says, standing right in front of you. He lightly nudges your hands as he helps you to fasten up your vest.
You stare at him, “Changed my mind.”
“You could've told me. Wanna ride with me?”
“You already have someone to ride with.” you tell him, chuckling as you're trying your best to appear light and carefree.
“I see you do too. Doesn't mean we can change it up.”
You shrug, “He offered.”
He frowns, his eyes dropping all over your face as they stop on your lips for a quick moment. “So, you cool with that?”
“Yeah,” you say, swallowing. “It's okay to meet new people.”
His eyes snap to yours. He watches you, causing you to almost squirm in his never flattering eye contact. “What do you mean?”
Fuck, you should've stay silent.
“Well, we talked about this earlier. We're not–it's probably for the best.”
You watch his tongue poke the inside of his cheek, a knowing look crossing over his features as he momentarily looks away before he chuckles. He rubs his nose as he backs away.
“Okay.”
Him going back to the woman, watching her arms around his waist when they haven't even set off yet, is not the most disturbing feeling. As Gabriel joins you and you sit in the same position like Jungkook and the woman, you can't help but realize that none of this seems okay.
a/n: Oh god. It's already out! It's been a while since I wrote an author's note & to be honest, there's so much that I wanna say. At first, I wasn't really sure what – minus of course to thank you for your understanding and patience which unfortunately doesn't involve everyone. I'm glad that this chapter is finally out! To think it was supposed to be out in summer (and it's already close to winter 🥴) and even earlier than that, is insane!!
I don't wanna go into too much detail and make this a/n too long, most of you probably have been hanging around for a while to know everything that has happened since the last update. Life has been busy but I don't think about it negatively, even tho it obviously affects my writing schedule. I needed the hectic lifestyle. Sometimes I felt too exhausted, but I would rather take something positive from it than think of it negatively, especially since I wasn't in a good space before.
I wanna apologize for taking so long. I know y'all have been waiting. For me, it didn't even feel that long which shows just how quickly everything has been happening in my life. There are so many things that affected it and I could literally make a list (lol) but I'm sure most of you know a good amount of it, since I've been as honest as I could've been. I know I couldn't control 99% of how busy I got. There were times when I wanted to write badly but I barely could even think of it. There were also times when I could've found inspiration and time, but then one look at my Wattpad profile or my inbox made me just lock my phone and do other things.
I don't want to make this a/n to give off a negative vibe, because there is so much to be happy about, but I just wish some people could be more understanding. Some of them have been extremely toxic, not making it any easier for me. I'm slightly sad to admit that if it wasn't for my passion and love for this story, I probably would just pack it off because the hate and messages I got are insane. I know me saying this won't change anything – I've tried multiple times. But please for love of God, stop pressuring writers and gaslight them, or many other unnecessary and disgusting things.
But putting this aside, I wanna thank everyone who's shown me love and support – made all of this worth it. I hope you've enjoyed this chapter, there is more to come and I've already started working on the next one. Please, don't ask when and how much. I don't know. I'll do my best. My goal is to post at least once a month, but this doesn't mean it will happen. I've learned not to plan much because I don't wanna disappoint anyone. So I'll just work on my stories privately and once I have something to share, I'll inform you 😊
So, yeah, that's it guys! I'm glad to be back with another chapter and hopefully, there won't be such a long wait anymore! I really wish this won't happen again for multiple reasons. Thank you for cheering me on and letting me know there are such great readers like you. I'll be forever thankful. During this story and after it finishes as well!
If you've enjoyed this chapter, please consider buying me a coffee☕️: https://ko-fi.com/personasintro ♡ Teaser for 59 along with a special unfinished scene (that didn't make it in 58) will be posted there!
goal: 2k notes 🌙
© 𝐩𝐞𝐫𝐬𝐨𝐧𝐚𝐬𝐢𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐨 (𝐧𝐨 𝐫𝐞𝐩𝐨𝐬𝐭𝐬 𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐧𝐬𝐥𝐚𝐭𝐢𝐨𝐧𝐬 𝐚𝐫𝐞 𝐚𝐥𝐥𝐨𝐰𝐞𝐝) | 𝐛𝐚𝐧𝐧𝐞𝐫 𝐜𝐫𝐞𝐝𝐢𝐭: @kithtaehyung
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0: Height
1: Age
2: Shoe size
3: Do you smoke?
4: Do you drink?
5: Do you take drugs?
6: Age you get mistaken for
7: Have tattoos?
8: Want any tattoos?
9: Got any piercings?
10: Want any piercings?
11: Best friend?
12: Relationship status
13: Biggest turn ons
14: Biggest turn offs
15: Favorite movie
16: I’ll love you if…
17: Someone you miss
18: Most traumatic experience
19: A fact about your personality
20: What I hate most about myself
21: What I love most about myself
22: What I want to be when I get older
23: My relationship with my sibling(s)
24: My relationship with my parent(s)
25: My idea of a perfect date
26: My biggest pet peeves
27: A description of the girl/boy I like
28: A description of the person I dislike the most
29: A reason I’ve lied to a friend
30: What I hate the most about work/school
31: What my last text message says
32: What words upset me the most
33: What words make me feel the best about myself
34: What I find attractive in women
35: What I find attractive in men
36: Where I would like to live
37: One of my insecurities
38: My childhood career choice
39: My favorite ice cream flavor
40: Who I wish I could be
41: Where I want to be right now
42: The last thing I ate
43: Sexiest person that comes to my mind immediately
44: A random fact about anything
ALL OF THEM GO.
also if you want, tag a friend to answer all of them too
AAA-
0. 5 foot 7
1. Minor
2.zero clue
3. No
4. No
5. No
6. I used to get mistaken for a 15/16 y/o when I was 11/12ish. I got asked if I was 20 once.
7. No
8. Maybe (my parents would kill me)
9. Yea, one on each ear lobe
10. I might wanna get more (my parents would kill me)
11. @/the-story-system <3 (idk if I should tag)
12. Single
13. Zero clue
14. Also zero clue
15. Probably Encanto or Coco…Sixth sense was also cool from what I remember
16. Idk who you are anon, I’ll still love you as long as you aren’t an asshole to me or friends
17. Many of my old friends. Also extended family on both sides. And friends I can’t see often irl.
18. Uhh I don’t think I’ve had any traumatic experiences? Like I’ve had shit happen to me ofc but not traumatic so none
19. I will try to make cookies for you. Or a dessert/other food. I love giving people but esp friends food
20. Hate most…maybe the fact I don’t stand up for myself, weaker in that area
21. This random dot (are they called moles in english?) on my forehead. Idk I just think it’s cool.
22. Probably a teacher of sort
23. Pretty good! I love them both despite us being annoying back and forth but yk, siblings will siblings
24. Also generally good! I however have become alot more secretive around them so uh that’s kinda…not done it good
25. Idc where just meeting up irl. Get to talk and go around. I love play dates and being with people
26. Idk if I have one…I guess people being mean for zero reason to go generic
27. I have too many friends HOW CAN I DESCRIBE JUST ONE
28. Orange and blond hair. Was the president or something. Guess who (I don’t personally hate anyone so)
29. To protect myself and them
30. Slugging through the day when only one of my classes has a real good friend group
31. Sent on discord to a group of friends “I never looked into the ending tho…”
32. Anything that relates back to “you should be more feminine because you’re a girl 🥺” or “you’re growing up and becoming a woman!” not that specific emoji just emotion, but holy shit that gets on my nerves. Even back when I didn’t even identify as trans or knew what that was these annoyed me.
33. I love it when I’m called handsome, idk why just make me giddy. Also when friends say they like my art/writing (((:
34. Their swagger (could I even pinpoint one thing?)
35. Their swagger (again, could I even pinpoint one thing?)
36. With a friend in a house. I don’t really care where but would prefer not in the city
37. Majority of my body, just to generalize
38. I wanted to be a business woman at one point
39. I loveee icecream uhm. Probably french vanilla but caramel-swirl esc types are awesome also
40. Boy this is a loaded question uhm. Idk be me but doing better?
41. Not here physically or mentally or any other levels
42. Chocolate icecream
43. Josh Hutcherson…people other than my friend find him objectively hot yes? (I only have that memorized to annoy her with it lol)
44. Dolphins get high on pufferfish, intentionally ramming into them cause their poison only gets dolphins high!
#THERE YOU GO ANON#I ANSWERED ALL IN ONE GO SO HOPEFULLY I DIDNT MAKE MISTAKES#asks#answered ask game
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mommy 🥺🥺😚🩷
as i was scrolling through my pinterest feed i found the slutty brownies recipe too and thought of you aaaah they look so good i wish i could make them 🥹🥹🩷
i’m going to go to the restaurant today i wish i were going with you though my love 🥺🥺 i’ll tell you what i got later 🥺🩷
thank you so much for being here with me mommy 🥺🥺 whenever i’m nervous to post you always make me feel better about my writing and myself in general 🥺😭 i am so excited to read needy my love 🥹🥹🩷
i love you so so much my crystal gem!! 🥺😚🩷🩷💎
my cherry baby~ 🥺🥺😚🩵🩵
aaa you finally found them!! don’t they look so good? they look so sweet though idk if i could handle them but maybe if we made them and ate it together 😳😳 (sounds like overkill but i feel like it would be really good with vanilla ice cream! i love a good brownie with ice cream moment even if the brownie itself is like three different things lol)
i wish i could go to the buffet with you it sounds so good 😫😫 every time you tell me what you had there you make me wish i was there too >< i wanna feed you noodles and have a lady and the tramp moment 🥺🥺👉🏾👈🏾
of course my love, i’ll always be there for you 🥺🥺🩵 i’ll be here when you need your own personal cheerleader or a shoulder to cry on or someone to vent to, anything! i’m all yours <3 i love you so much my cherry bonbon~ 🥺🥺🥺🩵🩵
#my cutie 🥺🥺 i should be feeding you fish and noodles and makis!!#my dinner was so mid even though i was the one who made it so now i’m craving actual good food#kinda want to try honey and agave syrup on the sourdough bread i got yesterday 🤔#i wanna eat it and think of you my baby 🥺🥺#my sweetest cherry you’re so so sweet and kind and considerate ;;;:#cherry bear 🍒
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The Moonrise Chronicles | No. 12 | ??? title not found
Dear Friends,
Long time, no update aaa!!! This is just going to be my thoughts as I think of them, so apologies for skipping around.
I’ve just been very sensitive lately. I feel like I’ve been floating away, in and out of existence. Songs I love bring me to tears, and I’ve been shutting down at first sign of conflict too easily. But I’ve also felt so much... apathy? Cynicism?
I’ve also been missing certain friends a lot recently. I keep finding them in our mutual friends and strangers. I wish I could just talk to them again. Especially now that I’ve been leaning into being more authentic with how I act. I just want to tell him all the chismis over lunch by the beach. Or tell him about all of the stories and songs I’ve been writing and maybe, just maybe, finally record a song with him. I was annoyingly giddy when he messaged me back a few weeks ago. Ugh. In another universe, it could’ve been us. I just really hope he’s okay out there, wherever he is.
I cried at work because there are some kids who are so genuinely themselves. I wish I had that. I feel like, ever since December, I’ve been purposefully acting upon my hermit tendencies, waiting for my friends to pull me out. Yes, I’m the problem. I’ve just compared myself to my friends so much, i feel like an impostor. I shrunk myself down and got too comfortable in my self-destruction. A pity party for every outing I didn’t go to.
At the start of writing this, I was super bummed that I’m probably not going to the BTR concert because I waited to get tix. Earlier today, I was bummed because I got govball tix too early (today was the last day of a really good sale :’))) and idk I feel like I’ve been very irresponsible lately. Maybe this is the wake up (& it’s over) call I need.
hmmm, okay, I need to get the negative stuff out of the way:
I feel like I’m not going to get married in the time I want to. I don’t think I’ve every said it in a serious way, but I really do want to get married and raise kids. I feel like I’m falling behind.
I’m scared to find out who my fake friends are. I know that I’m fake and I own it, but I was so desperate to change myself just to keep friends. I’m the problem. I don’t belong.
I just want to give love and have it reciprocated all in a healthy way. Sometimes, I feel actually delusional, then I feel even more delusional for thinking I’m delusional.
The smallest things have been setting me off. I’m either napping because I’m exhausted or I sleep early so I don’t overthink the problems I created.
I! Spend! Too! Much!!!!!!
I’m back in school.
I’m so mean to myself.
And many more!!
Okay, I think that’s all. If I think of anything else... I hope I don’t think of anything else.
This past spring semester, although chaotic in its own ways, was fun. A big contrast to the lows and highs of my first go-around. I got straight A’s for the first time! Too bad I wasn’t a full-time student, then I for sure could’ve made Dean’s List. But it’s okay. I’m going to graduate in 2025, my hat will have lovejoy + jono lyrics, and all of my best peoples will be there.
After a good conversation with my teammates, I tried being more “myself” at s group function. It was a small group of us, but a good group. We played uno and mafia, and my “bit” was being the slightly unhinged bestie from Clown Town. One friend asked me if I was genuinely okay and I explained that I was trying to go back to my more outgoing persona. We joked about how if my friends laugh at my jokes, I will take it and run. But she liked the bit and didn’t think I took it too far. It was pretty good lol
BESTIES COME HOME TOMORROW!!!! But other bestie is going on vacation ):)
There are some moments at work where I felt that all-too-familiar drowning feeling. But most of the time, it turns around by the end. I still wish I could be better, and I’m working on it.
// I think the hot water that I’ve been drinking has some coffee bits so uhhhh yeah lol (it’s 11:48 pm rn).
My heart has little palpitations whenever I think of seeing lovejoy live. Also when I hear a song that reminds me of Cali 2019. Truly the last time I was so happy (jkjk)
On the flip side, I get the bad palpitations when I think about school or work outside of school or work hours. I’ve been trying to recognize it then immediately go back to being in the present. Like I did just now.
I have so many ideas and drafts and one I just thought of: the ideal day in my life, but it’s split into:
ideal current time
realistic current time
ideal future
realistic future
I hope there’s overlap, but that’s something I’dd have to decide. I should really sleep soon lol
Hmmmmmm... I want to leave on a good note.
I love Minecraft. I miss my friends deeply. Life it a balancing act but at least you’re not balancing eggs on a spoon while walking a tightrope? Or maybe you are because that’s what you want to do. I’m literally the most annoying main character but it’s not the worst superlative to have. I think I’m going to try to get good at sports and hone in on my music/art crafts (I wrote carts???) so I can be the Coolest Person I know. I’m going to be the tall, wholesome jock with feelings. Yeah, that.
This summer will be good.
Current song playing: Let’s Get Lost - Carly Rae Jepsen
Love, Robin
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#boba post#the moonrise chronicles#journal#photography#pareidolia#ramblings#do i tag lovejoy they're mentioned a lot
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hello! If you're comfortable (PLS IGNORE THIS IF YOU'RE NOT i just wanna know if I missed something),can I ask what happened that lead you to stop writing for the txt boys? 'cause you said it was doing you harm thinking about them and I just wanna know if someone in the group did something that made you uncomfy or if it's just something that happened in your life that you related to them or idk (if it's the last one you obviously don't even have to explain)
Anyways,I hope you're okay <3
LONG POST
God no they’ve done nothing but be their perfect selves. It has nothing to do with them. This is quite personal but maybe I should talk about it. We all know lollapalooza was a huge thing especially for them and I’m so proud they got to be the first ever kpop group to be invited. I bought a ticket and traveled over five hours to Chicago. I got there successfully and even met up with some friends. But once it got to being in an actual crowd… idk if any of you guys have been to a huge festival like that but I was skin to skin with every person around me and it was constant pushing and shoving in the horrid heat. There were wood chips below us and because of the sweat dripping down and the water people were splashing everywhere in failed attempts to stay cool it was literally like steaming visibly. It’s a easy to claim lack of oxygen.
I have to clarify I’m like hella autistic and gaslit myself into thinking I could do anything for the boys but it proved to be too much. I had multiple people aiming fans on me trying to help me breathe (MOAs bc no one else cared) and dumping water on my head. No one would let me get through to the barricade until I was all but passing out and had to be pulled out of the hell that was that crowd. It was easily 80% locals and even the staff had to stop the performance of the artist to try to get them to back up and it took a good 20 minutes and I could hear them trying to get people to listen even after I got out.
Well anyways I had an autistic melt down. It was really bad. My friends couldn’t find me and I couldn’t direct them to where I was so I finally ended up calling my mom and she talked me out of the venue (someone crashed into me not watching where the were going as well which made it so much worse bc I got beer right in the face when I could barely breathe + autistic melt down) honestly proud of myself for being able to get out of there on my own with thousands of people walking at me it was really too much. I was nauseous and could feel the vibrations in my chest and no ear plugs, physical or mental prep would have been enough. At least I know I can’t attend festivals 🤷♀️
So I didn’t get to see them. I had the opportunity to and I chose myself over the boys and I know it’s the right thing but I still feel awful about it and I’ve not even been able to bring myself to watch the performance videos. Every time I see them or think about them it’s a reminder. It’s not every day or month or even year frankly that you get to see them. They mean the world to me and I am actually sobbing now aaa. Don’t feel bad though it’s a healing curve. I need to accept it and not feel guilty because they wouldn’t want that. I might have to come back to this later and add details I can’t think about but I definitely got a bit overwhelmed so this is it for now.
Also txt are the least problematic idols ever I swear they could never do anything to make me not love them I just needed to step back and let my heart heal. I appreciate you checking with me though 💗
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PART TWO OF ROBOTUS TRYING TO FIND YOU A MATCH PLS!!! WHEN HE REALIZES ITS HIM AAAA DO WHATEVER YOU WANT IM JUST CRAVING ROBOTUS HCS
MNSMDNSD I GOT A COUPLE REQS FOR THIS SO <33 HERE WE GOOOOOOO
(original post here)
all sfw!!! just some Clownery
I MENTIONED SOME DETAILS IN THE TAGS BUT IM GONNA GO INTO A BIT MORE DETAIL
As any Self Respecting Genius AI, the first step is Making A Very Long List.
You've already narrowed it down to Someone In Cognito, right? (theres fuckton of levels at cognito,, so lets maybe put that at like,, 5000 ppl?? 10 000?? im not sure what number is realistic bc,,, we don't have blueprints-)
BUT you obviously don't,, interact with all those people, right? You've never even BEEN in the Kaiju Research Department - so he can 86 all those. People you've talked about disliking, etc.
he narrows it down to a list of,, about 400 ppl, ranked most to least likely
(... yeah its a little biased. and by a little i mean a lot. Mostly because If You Had A Thing For fucking,, Chad In Biochem He Might Blow A Fuse Because You Could Do So Much Better)
AND FROM THERE, over the next few weeks he gets it down to 50< by keeping track of who you interact with the most!! He assumes that if you were interested in someone, you’d at least speak to them every few days, if not daily!!
he'll pop outta the woodwork every once in a while to,, give his best guess of the day.
'Quinn? They work in The Crypid Re-'
'Nope'
'... Am I at least getting closer?'
'If you figure it out, I'd be very surprised.'
'Are you insulting my intelligence? >:(('
'It isn't about your ~intelligence~, oh wise one. you just aren't gonna figure it out. Besides, it's never gonna be an answer you'll like (</3)'
'I'll like being right - Joseph Langat?'
's i g h'
If anybody asks why he cares so much, he's gonna claim boredom and/or pride. is that the truth?.... no
HE ABSOLUTELY GOES TO THE GANG ASKING FOR HELP AS,, THE LIST STARTS TO GET DOWN TO LIKE,, 20 PPL??
Does the gang know? ABSOLUTELY! are they gonna say Dick?? NOPE
its funny as hell watching him fumble around. He rarely,, doesn't know smth. Lots of room for teasing <3, trying to lead him towards the answer and trying not to crack up when He Just,, Can't Get It.
ANDRE REALLY DOES HIS BEST OKAY??
'Maybe you're going about this wrong - is there anyone they talk to every day without fail? Maybe, oh I don't know, someone they greet in the morning?'
'Well that doesn't help, the only person they do that to is me! Perhaps I need to backtrack...'
'... dude'
LISTEN EVENTUALLY MYC BREAKS HE FUCKING SNAPS HE CAN'T DO IT. ITS FUNNY BUT GOD ITS SO FRUSTRATING SEEING SOMEONE SO SMART BE SO DENSE. ONE DAY HE JUST,,
'holy shit, did you take a dip in the company pool and fry your fucking brain out? It's you. They've been making goo-goo eyes at you since August. How do you qualify as a sentient lifeform.'
LISTEN ALRIGHT THE CONVERSATION BETWEEN YOU TWO,,, GOES ABOUT AS WELL AS YOU'D EXPECT. If you catch him in the hallway??
'Any luck?' while you two,, make your way along the front foyer. Why not see how far along he’s gotten?
'Well, Myc thought it would be very funny to suggest you were interested in me of all people - what a ridiculous idea. As if I'd miss something as obvious as that.'
'...'
BUDDY YOU'RE GONNA START HEARING FUCKING DIAL UP NOISES I STG.
HOLY FUCK THIS IS LIKE PRIMATES LEARNING TO BANG ROCKS TOGETHER. HIS EXPRESSION JUST GETS,, MORE AND MORE CONFUSED?? His eyes are just,, bouncing back and forth between two points on the floor?? he looks almost pained by his own stupidity?
'Holding up?' please tease him. it’s good for your soul <3
'Aside from wanting to throw myself into the sea, I am... pleasantly surprised?'
'pleasantly? Then I guess you wouldn’t mind a date? Maybe hide down in the basement levels and make fun of people on the security cams?'
‘... ᶦ ᵗʰᶦⁿᵏ ᵗʰᵃᵗ ᶜᵒᵘˡᵈ ᵇᵉ ᵃᶜᶜᵉᵖᵗᵃᵇˡᵉ <3’
<333333 AAA IDK IF THIS IS WHAT YOU HAD IN MIND!!! THIS WAS VERY FUN TO WRITE EITHER WAY
#THIS WAS SITTING IN DRAFTS FOR A WHILE AND THEN I WAS LIKE 'OH FUCK I FORGOT TO QUEUE THIS'#SO HERE SMND#alpha-beta#robotus alpha-beta#alpha-beta x reader#robotus alpha-beta x reader#sfw#inside job
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get to know you better tag!
tagged by @melliabee and @o-lei-o-lai-o-lord (both of whom I can’t properly tag, sorry, IDK if it’s just my tumblr acting up or what). Combining the two lists into one here :)
Favorite time of year: fall. early fall when the weather turns crisp and I’m just starting to wear sweaters comfortably, when it’s windy and rainy and beautiful in Iowa, where I live. chef’s KISS. God made all seasons beautiful in their time but boy do I appreciate the early fall.
Favorite Color: today it’s the light blue-grey of a foggy morning
Comfort food: hmm... dad’s waffles, cooked in his dearly beloved mini-wafflemakers, with syrup and/or margarine.
Do you collect something? Yes! Rocks and feathers.
Most treasured rock: a rough blue crystal-y one, really vividly blue and opaque, that I’ve had for ever. It was my mom’s before it was mine.
Most recent feather: I just recently found a really nice owl feather on campus. It’s a wing feather, I’m pretty sure. Maybe someday I’ll learn to actually identify feathers n’ stuff. For now I just think they’re pretty :)
Favorite drink: chamomile tea, raspberry tea, and hot chocolate are tied for favorite. They have different purposes, you know?
Favorite song: I have to choose one? Well... What Wondrous Love Is This always hits me right in the chest... but I love singing it and I love listening to it. I could hear it every day and not get tired of it, so favorite it is. (for a secular one, I’d go with Swimming Pool by Young Waters for similar reasons.)
Current favorite song: today? Classical Gas by Mason Williams. Joey Wilson (a superhero favorite of mine) canonically learned it on guitar, and I’ll be listening to it later today while I write the next chapter of my fic. It’s a good instrumental song, melancholy but hopeful, sort of despairing and sort of upbeat.
Favorite fic (well, at least one of them): ohhh, let’s see. Reclaiming Innocence, a fic where Jason Todd was a child prostitute, is a long and beautiful slice-of-life story about healing which was one of the major inspirations for Strange Redemption. It’s so difficult and real and aaa I’m not doing it justice. I weep.
Currently Reading: The Reverse of a Robin is a Shadow by @called-kept. Also tons of random poems for my British Literature class and my poetry class. We talked about Tyger Tyger in class today in British Lit!
Currently Working On: writing The Strange Redemption of Thaddeus Thawne (I expect the next chapter will be done within the week!!). Taking ceramics, entomology, rhetorical analysis, poetry, and romantic & Victorian British Literature (undergrad English major here!). Getting Enough Sleep. Sewing a plushie hamster without a pattern (a fun little challenge for myself, even if I’ve already messed up several times and dubbed the li’l guy Frankenhammy because of all his mismatched pieces).
Last Series: The last series I finished was uhhh... I think Mob Psycho 100! I’m also trying out The Bear (a cooking drama found family thing?) @swinging-stars-from-satellites’ ramblings convinced me to give it a shot. It’s way grittier than the stuff I normally like, but what can I say? I’m hooked. Carmy is incredibly pathetic and I want him to succeed.
Last Movie: A Werewolf Boy (2012). It’s a Korean fantasy romance / tragedy. I watched this as a child and loved it, so I was SUPER excited to find it free online again! I adore the gentle-monster trope, and werewolves are where it’s at. I always adore a good werewolf story, barring weird romances, and this movie is NOT a weird romance. It’s just sweet.
Not tagging anyone, because I’ve made this into a monster of a list, but feel free to steal this. And tag me if you do! I love seeing these.
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I absolutely LOVED your Carlisle story so I thought I’d request one myself. Could you write one where the reader is human but she’s friends with the Cullens and she knows about their secret. Her and Carlisle have a TON of romantic tension but the only one who really knows about their feelings is Edward bc he can reader their minds. Can you also include Carlisle initiating the first kiss. I adore your writing btw🥺
Helloo, I'm so glad you loved it, I try my best writing. I LOVE THIS REQUESTS OKAY AAA. I want to clear some things, the reader is gonna be in her last year of high school and is gonna be 18 okay? okay. Also the tittle is inspired by the song "Stacy's mom" obviously. Idk how much I succeeded with the whole romantic tension thing and with this request in general but I really liked it so I hope you liked it too. ✨🥺
Alice's dad.
Pairing: Carlisle Cullen x Human!Reader.
Summary: The reader moves to forks and becomes friends with the cullens rather quickly but what will happen when the father of the cullens ends up catching the reader eyes.
After you 18th birthday, your parents told you that they have to move. You really didn't want to, it was your last year of high school and you didn't want to spend it being the new girl in some city you didn't even like. You argued with them that you could stay but you didn't have any money and there wasn't any way you could make enough money to live alone in such short time.
You moved to forks, you didn't really like it in the beginning but your parents insisted that you have to give it a try. And you did just because you didn't really have another choice.
Your new high school was kinda bored, some people was surprised that there was a new student in last year. Others students didn't even care about you and you low key preferred it that way.
But there was some students that tried to be more kind to you, a good exampled would be the cullens. Alice and Emmett especially. You shared some classes with them and Alice was the first one you met.
You and Alice had history together and you have to make a project with a classmate, she knew you were new and didn't want you to be left out so she asked to be your partner to the project and you obviously accepted. She was really friendly and fun to be around. Later on she presented you to her siblings.
She told you that they were all adopted and some of them were dating, you find it kinda weird but didn't question it.
Later that day you have chemistry and you found out you shared that class with Emmett and you both paired up. And ended up being chaotic, let's just say that some things exploded and you burn your hand but didn't told anyone cause "it wasn't that big".
After classes, Alice told you to go to their house with them so you could do the project and you accepted and told your parents that you were going to a friend's house for a project.
The cullens mansion house was huge and really beautiful. You all entered the house and Alice presented you to her father. A handsome men in probably his twentys, it surprised you that someone so young and beautiful already had children who were your age.
—Nice to meet you. — He said kindly and took your hand to shake it. You obviously give it to him with a smile but you forgot that you have burned it "a little" before.
You let out a little whining when you felt his cold hand touched the burned part of your warmer hand. He rapidly let go your hand and took your wrist instead to look at what make you feel the pain.
— How did you burn your hand like this? — He said looking at you with worry in his eyes. It probably shouldn't have made you blush because he was probably just being kind but it make you blush anyway.
— It was an accident in chemistry, it's nothing really, I'm gonna be okey don't worry. — You said nervously by having his beautiful eyes on you.
—I insist. Come with me, I have the things to help you heal in my office. — He said and you could feel your cheeks getting more warm. Before doing anything you looked at you friends, Alice held a smile of worry but trying to be comfortable for you to don't be so nervous. The rest of them were like her in majority, except for Edward who looked at you and Carlisle with a little smirk in his face, like he knew something the rest didn't.
Carlisle hold your healthy hand in his and headed to his office. You grew more nervous but also low key excited to be alone with him. You feel as if nothing bad could happen to you if you were with him.
Once you entered his office he told you to sit down on his desk so he could heal you comfortably. You did as he told you and he took some cream and bandages before coming back to stand in front of you.
—Did you move to forks recently? Alice never talked about you before, I'm sure I wouldn't forget you. — He said, your heart give a flutter and your eyes shoot to look at him but feeling a wide smile grew in your face you looked back to your hand.
— Yes, my parents decided to move for something about work, I really didn't want to at the begging but now, I think it wasn't a bad thing after all. — You said nervously looking at him as the last sentence left your mouth.
Your eyes couldn't help to watch carefully his face, it was almost hypnotizing, your eyes analyzed his whole face and stopped at his lips staring for some seconds. Once you looked at this eyes again he was looking at you with dark eyes, you could swear they were more golden a second ago.
He endend putting the bandage in your hand and you looked at it with a greatful smile on your face. — Thank you Carlisle. — You said nervously looking at him shyly. His eyes were still kinda dark and were now fixated in your lips. You couldn't help but look at his lips too.
He noticed this and without really thinking what was he doing, he put his hand in the side of your face carefully and approached you more almost closing the space between the two of you. — Can I? — A part of you didn't believe this was even happening but you wouldn't reject him.
You nodded slowly as a response and after that he closed the space between your lips kissing you. It was the best someone ever give to you. You weren't expecting any of this to happen but maybe this was proof that moving to forks was actually a good idea.
#carlisle x you#carlisle cullen x reader#carlisle cullen x you#carlisle cullen#twilight carlisle#twilight one shot#twilight imagine#twilight renaissance
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