#or looking adhd or whatever

[inkskinned]

because sometimes there are invisible tests and invisible rules and you're just supposed to ... know the rule. someone you thought of as a friend asks you for book recommendations, so you give her a list of like 30 books, each with a brief blurb and why you like it. later, you find out she screenshotted the list and send it out to a group chat with the note: what an absolute freak can you believe this. you saw the responses: emojis where people are rolling over laughing. too much and obsessive and actually kind of creepy in the comments. you thought you'd been doing the right thing. she'd asked, right? an invisible rule: this is what happens when you get too excited.

you aren't supposed to laugh at your own jokes, so you don't, but then you're too serious. you're not supposed to be too loud, but then people say you're too quiet. you aren't supposed to get passionate about things, but then you're shy, boring. you aren't supposed to talk too much, but then people are mad when you're not good at replying.

you fold yourself into a prettier paper crane. since you never know what is "selfish" and what is "charity," you give yourself over, fully. you'd rather be empty and over-generous - you'd rather eat your own boundaries than have even one person believe that you're mean. since you don't know what the thing is that will make them hate you, you simply scrub yourself clean of any form of roughness. if you are perfect and smiling and funny, they can love you. if you are always there for them and never admit what's happening and never mention your past and never make them uncomfortable - you can make up for it. you can earn it.

don't fuck up. they're all testing you, always. they're tolerating you. whatever secret club happened, over a summer somewhere - during some activity you didn't get to attend - everyone else just... figured it out. like they got some kind of award or examination that allowed them to know how-to-be-normal. how to fit. and for the rest of your life, you've been playing catch-up. you've been trying to prove that - haha! you get it! that the joke they're telling, the people they are, the manual they got- yeah, you've totally read it.

if you can just divide yourself in two - the lovable one, and the one that is you - you can do this. you can walk the line. they can laugh and accept you. if you are always-balanced, never burdensome, a delight to have in class, champagne and glittering and never gawky or florescent or god-forbid cringe: you can get away with it.

you stare at your therapist, whom you can make jokes with, and who laughs at your jokes, because you are so fucking good at people-pleasing. you smile at her, and she asks you how you're doing, and you automatically say i'm good, thanks, how are you? while the answer swims somewhere in your little lizard brain:

how long have you been doing this now? mastering the art of your body and mind like you're piloting a puppet. has it worked? what do you mean that all you feel is... just exhausted. pick yourself up, the tightrope has no net. after all, you're cheating, somehow, but nobody seems to know you actually flunked the test. it's working!

aren't you happy yet?

[krash-and-co]

I love Lockwood he's so silly he got neurodivergent swag (hc but I may as well think it's canon, see tags lol)

also yeah kipps <3 he's the worst <333

and skull gets EVEN BETTER TRUST ME

George thing so real, it sucks :((( Lucy's hella mean sometimes and it's part of her but it def doesn't make it ok. that being his joke uncalled for and too common

thoughts on phasmaphobia Lockwood and co. book one:

things i liked:

Lockwood, the character. big fan of his type of character

Quill Kipps IS a loser its great

worldbuilding and story arebvery good methinks

ghosts

the Skull

things i disliked:

mild sexism

how George is treated is too “haha this guys fat and likes to eat things lets make fun of that” for me

mystery doesn’t really provide hints so the reader can solve it, but i guess thats not really the point

[diddlesnap]

Autistic girls sound off jn the comments

[wifiwuxians]

Pop Team Epic x MDZS

a small thing that came to me in a flash, done in a flash >:) i wish i could redraw the scene frame by frame, but my brain demands things be done immediately. still, i hope it makes someone chuckle at least! 💖

[honeysnuckle]

i’m supposed to be working but all i can think about is boxer!mitch rapp…

if i didn’t have adhd, it would be OVER for you bitches.

[fappellmoan]

the men of willow

[thevirgodoll]

sometimes, we have to have a day where we allow ourselves to do absolutely nothing because we are emotionally stuck. nothing seems right, and everything seems dreadfully mundane. you feel like you’re the only person on the planet (while also feeling like the world is spinning without you).

sometimes, distracting ourselves 24/7 with productivity stops us from realizing what we need. i hate that we have become a society where everything we do has to be commodified.

why can’t we be okay just doing “nothing” tasks? you don’t always have to be pursuing something. what happened to taking a few mins out to do that thing that feels like “nothing” but makes you happy? like what’s wrong with playing sims or taking a nap? what’s wrong with accepting that some days just don’t work and there’s nothing wrong with accepting that???

like…burnout is so real. ppl tell us to stay inspired and ~keep going~ but you have to have the energy and the presence to do so. like in all of us the spark is there, but we don’t have the capacity to nurse it.

better to let that fire burn organically (and light it again when you have time and energy…) as often as you can than to rush every second and not even know you’re at the end of the wick.

[mylove-thresher]

first time drawing Sheila E actually idk y I have never drawn her she looks so kewl

[freebagels]

In case you needed something depressing to think about, think about how if they went through with making Hater a skinny skeleton twink, he'd be popular in the fandom. But alas he is not.

[pollenallergie]

“do the hardest task first”

no. just… no.

hot take: this doesn’t work for people with adhd (in my experience/from what i’ve heard from other people with adhd in my life). i recommend doing the easy/moderately difficult stuff first, that way you can convince yourself that it’s all going to be this easy and undemanding. then hyper-focus will kick in because your brain is like, “yeah, we can do this, we’ve got this.” then, before you know it, you’ve completed both the easy tasks and the hard tasks while hyperfocusing.

like, on a serious note, it’s always been easier for me to convince myself to get the most difficult tasks done when i’m already working/in the working frame of mind, not when i’m laying in bed or sitting on the couch, mindlessly scrolling through stuff on my phone, and struggling to start at all.

if the choice comes down to you not starting at all or starting with the easiest task first (which, for me, it often does), always, always pick starting with the easiest task first. sometimes you need a small victory, a little bit of an accomplishment, to give you the courage to take on bigger challenges.

[the-bineapple]

not diagnosed with anything. but maybe I should be

[zebratimw]

[squidcandy]

is he bad with kids or are these kids just horrible (the kids are horrible)

[depresseddepot]

if you run a langblr blog and also have adhd, please like or reblog this!

[dyspunktional-leviathan]

Tl;dr:

I struggle with basic arithmetics.

But not enough that my school would let me not do math.

So I had to do math in school, straining my entire organism for that.

That is really bad, actually.

I don’t even need math in my life at all.

/End tl;dr

_______

I struggle with basic arithmetics.

I do not actually need math in my life. At all. I am lucky to live in the time and the environment where I can always have a calculator do it for me.

The fact that I had to do math in school is bad, actually, and not just for the general school reasons.

I was forced to strain myself on something my brain just fundamentally doesn’t do.

That something not even being remotely anything I would need in life.

But even if it was only one of those two things!

I want to focus on the former most of all here in particular though.

I have chronic migraines, and at least in the later years, when I was homeschooling, my headache would immediately get much worse when I’d just try to think in the direction of math. I don’t know if it was like that when I was public-schooling, there were too many sources of headache worsening.

I don’t remember if I had much math problems before middle school, though I always disliked math, but in middle school, it was very visible in my math work that my numbers were constantly wrong in the most basic ways.

It’s easier to do math on paper than in my mind, writing it out and using column math and long division *is an aid*, I can say I struggle with basic arithmetics even if in school I struggled less (using aids; also still struggled), I certainly do acknowledge those who struggle more than me and the ableism they face

But, so, my struggles with math were not enough for them to let me not do it, just enough for them to force me to struggle more trying to correct my mistakes, and as a whole I still had to do the thing that my brain just doesn’t do, and it was needlessly straining the entire me.

[boyfriendyke]

idk whats worse the idea that my parents genuinely dont believe that mental illness exist or the apparent reality that they Do believe in mental illness they just dont think people need accommodations or medication. is this a joke. taps on the glass let me out of my enclosure